#suzy x ly

[rainbow-wolf120]

Guys........ I think I got my canon couples mixed up-

So like... yes. I am a Rayman X Ed shipper. I'm done hiding. Please spare me <3

But yeah, I threw in some Ly X Suzy as well because..... ummmmm... uhhhh...

I don't think I could justify my thoughts process. I finished this piece at 3 in the morning

Also these are my hc designs for the sillies. I like patterns :)

Also Headdy's there too because they're a trio fight me

Ed being a flusted mess and Rayman being wholesome my beloved

[kimoralov3]

daylight

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

description: steve has had a lot of trouble in his love life. but he's also one of the biggest idiots known to man because the girl of his dreams is standing right in front of him

warnings: swearing, reader uses she/her pronouns, everyone is a lil mean to steve, mentions of stancy (not like that), like i said steve is an idiot, slight angst, fluff

word count: 3059

a/n: tagging @arkofblake because this technically was smth that she requested before i changed it. also shout out to her mom for the knowledge about phones from the 80s lol

“Steve, you can’t keep staring at her like some sort of lost puppy.” Robin says as she helps Steve put some beer and sodas in the cooler.

“What are you talking about?” He asks as he turns back to the fridge.

“Oh please, you’ve been staring at Nancy and Jonathan ever since they got here.” Robin comments as she opens the bag of ice and clumsily dumps it into the small cooler.

“Have not.” Steve mutters as he shuts the fridge door. Robin gives him a look, the look she seems to be giving him a lot these days. “Okay, fine. I have been staring at them, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”

“Oh really? What other reason is there for you to be staring at your ex and her new boyfriend?” She says suspiciously.

Steve pauses, trying to find the words to express the tangled mess that is his love life. He eventually gives up, shaking his head as he grabs the cooler off the counter and walks outside to the pool. “I can’t explain it.”

“Oh come on, you gotta give me something.” Robin pleads, giving Steve her best puppy dog eyes.

Steve glances over at his best friend before quickly looking away. “Those don’t work on me.” He says definitely, but quickly gives in when he spares another glance at Robin. “Seeing them together just makes me think about all the things I don’t have.”

“Wow, that’s really sad.” Robin says solemnly as she holds the back door open for Steve. “You sure you don’t still have feelings for Nancy?” She adds after another moment of silence. 

“Absolutely positive, Robin. That ship sailed a long time ago.” He explains as he sets the cooler by the pool.

And he wasn’t lying. Steve really was over Nancy. Sure, there had been a time when he thought the two of them would evolve into something more, but that was ages ago. 

But now Steve was alone for the first time in years, and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He’d been on dates, but they’d turned more into a chore than something he was actually enjoying. They all left him feeling like a piece of him was missing, a piece of himself that he just knew was important. 

“Steve?” A voice called, pulling him from his well of self despair. 

“Yeah?” He says as he turns around, nearly falling over when he notices who’s in front of him.

“Can you move over so I can grab a soda?” Y/N asks politely as she gestures to the cooler behind Steve.

“Oh shit, yeah, of course.” Steve stutters as he moves out of the way, nearly falling into the pool. Y/N gives him an awkward smile as she grabs a soda before walking back over to sit with Jonathan and Nancy. 

“What was all of that about?” Dustin asks as he appears beside Steve, munching on some Goldfish.

“Jesus kid, you need to wear a bell or something!” Steve exclaims as he presses a hand to his fast beating heart. 

“Or maybe you just need to be more observant.” Dustin says mockingly as he flicks a Goldfish at Steve’s face, causing the older male to swat at him.

“Will you two quit it!” Robin says as she separates the two of them. Dustin flips Steve off before going to go sit back with the party and Suzie. 

“I swear that kid has no manners.” Steve mutters to himself as Robin walks away to go sit with Eddie and Chrissy. Steve is so busy mentally planning out his revenge against Henderson that he doesn’t notice a certain someone staring at him like he’s hung the moon and the stars.

—

“Robin, you seriously need glasses or something. How could you put Ferris Bueller and Top Gun in the same section?” Steve complains as he removes the tapes from the shelf.

“Oh quit being a baby and move them, I’m busy here.” Robin calls from the back. Steve rolls his eyes, muttering something under his breath as he moves to the back of the store to grab his cart. 

“I’ll be with you in a minute!” He says when the front door rings. He sets the missorted tapes on a random shelf as he walks back up to the front counter.

“Welcome to Family Video, how can I help y— Y/N?” Steve asks, shocked to see her here.

“Oh, hey Steve. I forgot you worked here.” She says with a laugh as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder. Effortlessly, and beautifully to him, if anyone cared enough to ask what he thought. Which was a rarity. 

Steve gives her a small smile, silently cursing himself for not taking his normal amount of care when he was getting ready this morning. 

Robin really needs to learn some patience.

“Yeah, have been for a while.” He says as he rubs the nape of his neck. “So, what can I help you with today?” 

“Well, my parents are out of town so it’s just me at home. Figured I’d get some movies to keep myself occupied for a while they’re gone.” She explains as she looks around the store before her eyes land on Steve once again, causing a shiver to run down his spine. “Got any recommendations for me?”

“Of course, walk with me.” He says, shooting her his signature smile as he walks over to the staff picks shelf. 

“Is that Labyrinth?” Y/N asks with a chuckle as she picks it up and inspects the back.

Steve groans, rolling his eyes as he sees the movie. “Fucking Eddie. He must’ve snuck it onto the shelf when he was here earlier.”

“Well, he has good taste. Think I’ll be taking this one with me.” She says as she waves the box. Steve can’t explain it, but he feels a small tightness in his chest. 

“To each their own, I guess.” He says with a shrug, trying to ignore this strange feeling. “Anyways, I would definitely recommend these if you’re looking for a more calm night in.” 

Steve hands over The Goonies, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and Back to the Future, waiting patiently for a reaction. 

“Oh my god, is this a Muppets movie?” She asks with a laugh, inspecting the box. “My little cousin loves this movie.”

“Hm, I don’t know how I should feel about that. Are you calling my cinematic taste childish?” Steve asks with a chuckle as he leans against the shelf.

“I would definitely call it that.” Robin says, wheeling a cart as she walks past the two of them. Steve glares at her while Y/N snorts, hiding her smile behind her hand. 

“I wasn’t going to say that it was childish. I was going to say that it’s…interesting.” She explains, her voice pitching up on the last word. 

Steve scoffs at that, shaking his head. “Sure, we’ll go with that.” He says jokingly. “So, will this be all for you?”

“Uh, yeah. This should be good enough for the weekend.” She says as the two of them walk back to the front counter. 

“Glad to be of service.” Steve says as he takes a small bow, cursing himself for how stupid he probably looks. 

“You know, you’re really funny.” Y/N says as Steve rings up the movies. Steve smiles softly, more affected by her words than he would like to admit.

“Could you tell Robin that? She says I have the humor of an old man.” He jokes as he puts the tapes into a bag. Y/N snorts again, this time a little louder. 

“See what I mean? Very funny, Harrington. Very funny.” She says as he hands her the bag. There’s a brief moment of silence before Y/N speaks up again. “Do you wanna come over tomorrow? You know, watch a movie with me or something?” She asks nervously. 

Steve’s mouth hangs open a little, blinking slowly. There was no way he heard that correctly. “You want me to come over?” 

“Yeah. Only if you want to, of course.” She clarifies quickly. 

“Of course I wanna come. I’ll even bring some snacks.” He says as he leans his arms on the counter. 

Y/N smiles at that, nodding her head. “Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She says, giving Steve one final wave before leaving. 

“Man, you are such a doofus.” Robin says as she comes up behind him. 

“Can you not?” Steve says as he turns around to face her. Robin smirks, winking at him before walking away. 

—

“You did what?” Eddie asks with a laugh as he stops strumming on his guitar.

“Don’t laugh at me, I need your help here!” Steve says as he throws his soda can at Eddie.

“Hey, careful! This is my most prized possession.” Eddie says as he throws the can back at Steve, missing him entirely. “Now, tell me exactly what happened.”

“Y/N invited me over, and I went because of course I would, you know? And everything was going really well, at least to me.” Steve explains as he leans back against Eddie’s dresser. 

“Okay, doesn’t sound too bad so far. What happened after that?” Eddie says as he turns the knobs on his guitar. 

“Then I thanked her for inviting me and left.” Steve says simply. Eddie abruptly stops what he’s doing, setting his guitar down on his bed.

“You did what now?” Eddie exclaims as he stands from the bed, causing Steve to look up at him. 

“Left. Why, what’s wrong?” He asked, very confused by Eddie’s sudden outburst. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, that’s what’s wrong.” Eddie says as he grabs Steve’s arm and hauls him into the living room. “Stand right there.” 

Steve grumbles something under his breath as he rubs his arm where Eddie had grabbed it. “Since when are you strong?”

“Amps are heavy as shit man. Now shush.” He says as he dials a number on the phone. Steve mutters something about Eddie being rude as he watches him press the phone to his ear. 

“Who are you calling?” Steve asks, only to be shushed by Eddie. Steve rolls his eyes, watching as Eddie waits for the person on the other end to pick up. 

“Hey Y/N! Do you have a moment to talk?” Eddie says when the person on the other end picks up. Steve automatically stands up straighter, listening closely to try and hear what Y/N was saying. 

“— Not in the mood—” Is the only thing that Steve can make out from here, causing him to frown. Was Y/N really that upset with him that she didn’t want to talk to anyone?

“Just humor me, please? What exactly happened yesterday with Harrington?” Eddie asks as Steve gets closer to the phone.

“I did what you and Robin told me to and asked Steve out, and absolutely nothing happened. I even tried scooting closer to him to see if he would catch the hint, but he didn’t! And then when it was time for him to leave, I went to kiss his cheek and he hugged me, Eddie. He hugged me!” Y/N rants from the other end of the line. “So either everyone is bullshitting me and Steve Harrington actually isn’t into me, or he’s the most oblivious man on the face of the planet.” 

Eddie gives Steve a knowing look as he says his goodbyes before hanging up the phone. “See? Idiot.”

Steve bangs his head against the wall as Eddie pats him pitifully on the shoulder. “So you mean to tell me that yesterday was supposed to be a date?” He finally says when he’s done with his attempt to knock some sense into himself. 

“It was a date. Could you honestly not tell?” Eddie asks as he crosses his arms over his chest. 

“No! I just thought that she was trying to be nice!” Steve says as he slides down the wall. 

“Man, can’t believe this. Former king of Hawkins High is sitting on the floor of my trailer, having a crisis because he blew a date with a pretty girl.” Eddie says as he shakes his head. Steve doesn’t even bother responding, sitting there with his head in his hands. “So, are you going to try and fix it or not?”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks as he finally looks up.

“God, since when did I become the smart one here?” Eddie asks in mock disappointment. “You need to go back over to Y/N’s and make everything right.” 

“How am I supposed to do that? I think you of all people should know that I’m not good with this stuff.” Steve said as he stood up. Eddie groans, rubbing his hands over his face. 

“My god, Harrington. You’re hopeless.” He says. “Here, I’ll tell you exactly what to do.”

Under any other circumstance, those words would’ve sent fear straight into Steve’s heart. Especially coming from someone like Eddie. But he was desperate, and desperate people don’t always make the smartest decisions. 

—

Steve stands outside of Y/N’s door, her favorite flowers in hand. He stands there for a moment, mentally going over everything that Eddie told him to say. He takes a deep breath before giving up and knocking on the door.

It’s silent for a moment before Steve hears the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. The door opens up to reveal Y/N standing there, arms over her chest.

“What do you want, Harrington?” She asks coldly. Steve gulps at that, rocking back and forth on his feet a little. Guess I deserve that a little.

“I just came here to apologize. For yesterday.” He says as he holds out the bouquet of flowers. Y/N hesitates before taking the flowers from him, smelling them quickly.

“What exactly are you apologizing for?” She asks after a moment.

“For being an idiot. If I had known that you wanted yesterday to be a date, I would’ve handled things a lot differently.” Steve explains as he nervously shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Different? Different how?” She asks as she leans against the doorframe. Steve pauses, trying to think of the best way to say what he wanted to say.

“Can I come in? I think it would be better.” He asks as he scratches his head. Y/N gives him a suspicious look before stepping aside and gesturing to the living room. Steve mutters a small thank you as the two of them walk into the living room and sit on the couch. 

“So, what exactly is it that you would’ve done differently?” She asks as she sets the flowers on the coffee table. 

“For starters, I wouldn’t have let our first date just be us watching a Muppets movie on your couch.” Steve says in a joking tone, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. “If I had known, I would have taken you out to dinner. Hell, if you really wanted I would’ve taken you to go see one but god I would not have gone to go see a freaking kids movie.”

“Why, what’s wrong with kids' movies?” Y/N asks teasingly, causing Steve to laugh for the first time since he got there. 

“I guess you’re right.” Steve says as he turns to face Y/N. “Can we get a do over date? I promise that this time I won’t act like a complete idiot.” He says sincerely. Y/N seems to mull it over for a moment before looking up at Steve.

“Promise?” She asks softly, as if she was still hurt and embarrassed from what happened the night before. 

“Swear on my life. And you know if I break it, I’ll have Nancy, Robin, and Eddie on my ass about it.” He adds jokingly, but it isn’t really a joke. He had seen first hand how scary Nancy could be when she was upset, and he did not want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Again. 

“Fine. But I’ll need you to ask me properly.” She says after a longer moment of consideration, sitting up straight against the back of the couch.

“Fine by me.” Steve says as he stands up, pulling Y/N with him. They give each other small smiles before Steve clears his throat dramatically. “Y/N, I’ve had feelings for you for a while now. Longer than I would personally like to admit. So, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?” 

Y/N stands with their hand on their chin, looking off into space as she pretends to think long and hard about Steve’s offer. Steve starts to get nervous that she might actually reject him when she leans up, pressing a quick peck to his cheek. “Of course I’ll go out with you, Steve.” 

Steve feels the heat rush to his cheek at Y/N’s actions, looking down at them with the biggest grin in the world. “You know, technically we’ve already had our first date. So it wouldn’t be completely insane of me to kiss you, would it?” He asks as he steps closer to her. 

Y/N lets out a chuckle before responding, her hands behind her back. “No, no. I don’t think it would be completely insane, as you put it.” 

That’s all the permission Steve needs before he pulls Y/N closer by her hips, their lips slotting together perfectly. He feels more than hears her sigh into the kiss as she raises her arms to wrap them around his neck. 

When they both pull away for air, Steve swears he can see all the stars in her eyes. “That was…”

“Wow, how many girls can say that they took Steve Harrington’s breath away after a single kiss?” She asks teasingly, although it was easy to tell by the heat of her cheeks that she was just as — if not more — affected by the kiss as Steve was. 

Steve rolls his eyes, which was seeming to become a common practice for him these days. “Way to ruin the moment.”

Y/N shrugs, giving Steve one of her award winning smiles. At least they were in his mind. “What can I say, it’s one of my many special talents.”

[margotw10bis]

Crashing On Crush. JJK 5 [m]

crush!Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut; series; romance; angst

Words: 2.5k

Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?

Warnings: angst; broken heart; crying

previous ← 5 → next

You enter your apartment, take off your shoes and sit on your couch without turning the lights on, too stunned by what you'd witnessed. There must be an explanation. Maybe you didn't hear well? Or you didn't see well? Maybe Jungkook has a sister? A cousin? It can't be what you think it is, can it? As much as your heart hurts, you try to think straight. Jungkook didn't lie, he didn't use you to cheat, right? Maybe if you weren't this shocked, you'd cry. But your eyes remain dry as you pull off your phone from your pocket.

You open the Instagram app and search for Jungkook's profile. If he has a sister or a cousin this close to him, he would have posted a photo of them together. You pray for having missed it the hundred of times you have checked his profile the past few months. But you go through all the pictures and no sign of this girl. A dragger is thrown to your broken heart but this can't be. You deny the facts.

Okay, let's search for an explanation because there must be one. You call Suzi and she answers the first ring.

"Hi, Y/N, whats up?"

She sounds so cheerful, like a thousand miles from your mood.

"Hi, is Taehyung here?" You ask with a white voice

"Sure" Just by the way she says that, you know your best friend frowns with worry. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to ask him something"

Suzi knows you well enough to not ask questions. She knows you'll tell her when you need.

"Hello?" Tae's deep voice flies to your ear through your phone

"Hi, uhm, I just wanted to know, does Jungkook have a sister? Or a cousin quite the same age?"

"No, he doesn't, why?"

You wish you could find the courage to ask 'does he have a girlfriend?' but you don't. Maybe you don't even want to know. It's better than to have the proof he's been lying to you. But has he really? You never talked about that, he never told you that he was single. However, you both shared something so special after having sex. At least, you thought. What are you doing to do? You don't even have the energy to think and you don't even want to because the stab in your heart, in your soul is too painful.

"Just to know, thanks"

You don't know how you managed to speak with such a dry throat but you hang up quickly to not have to do it again. You stay, in the dark, thinking about nothing for hours.

This only thing that keeps you from going crazy is the little sentence you repeat over and over again in your head: 'This can't be'.

————

The next day, you have decided to put whatever you have seen aside. You are supposed to go to the Lotte aquarium with Jungkook. Maybe you could even ask about the girl during the day and he will tell you that you totally misunderstood the situation, laugh and then give you a rational explanation.

You knock on Jungkook's door at 2pm. You took the time to get ready this morning - it's not like you've slept anyway. However, you couldn't focus enough to be very sophisticated so you just put some jeans, a white t-shirt with a leather jacket on and a pair of Converses. You swipe your sweaty hands on yours jeans, waiting for Jungkook to open the door.

He does, just a few seconds later. You can say he is surprised to see you. And you are surprised too when you see him stepping outside his apartment and closing the door after him, even when he doesn't look like going out with his black sweatpants, oversize grey t-shirt and Nike slippers. This a painful sign that the girl has probably spent the night with him and is still there. You try your best not to wince at the physical pain in your heart.

"Hi, are you ready?" You ask, even if you know the answer but deny is still better than having your heart break, again.

"Hi, Y/N, I'm sorry I forgot to text you. I can't today"

"Oh, maybe we could go another day, then?"

"I don't think so"

You can't help but take a step back, just like if Jungkook has slapped you in the face. Because it does feel like it. Why does he sound so cold when he was so sweet just a few days ago? When he had sex with you?

"I-I thought..." You try to speak your thoughts but they are so all over the place you don't know what to say.

"You thought wrong" His words are as harsh as his tone. "Look, I never said I wanted something serious, sorry if I gave you this impression. It's better if we don't see each other again. You should go"

Just like that, without even giving you a glance, he enters his apartment. You stay in the hallway, speechless. It hurts so fucking bad. Your body, your heart, even your soul. Yesterday, you were ready to tell him that you loved him, and you'd fallen in love with him in just few days because he was so caring. Because of the way he looked at you with his sweet doe eyes. The way he has hugged you after you had sex. The same man who warmed up your heart with so much love has just crashed it down in a million pieces. And each piece seems to have been stabbed with his words.

You don't even know how you went home. But the second you pass the door, your legs fail you and you cry on the floor. This is so much pain because you have never loved someone that much. And the only person who can help you from drowning completely in the darkest soreness is your best friend. You dial her number but you can't speak, your throat hurts too much because of your sobs.

"Y/N?"

By only hearing your cries she already grabs her car keys.

"I'm coming, everything is gonna be okay"She tells you, quite a panic in her voice because you've never cried so much

You hope so, so much that she is right.

————

You stay for hours in Suzi's arms, crying. You can't explain why you're crying because every time you relatively calm down and try to speak a word, the pain is too unbearable and you cry again. You're so tired by the tears shaking your body that you end up falling asleep in your best friend's arms.

You wake up with puffy eyes and you pray you'll have time to make yourself look better before going to work. You already know that it'll take all of your energy to pretend nothing happened when your heart is completely mashed up.

You are sad - even beyond sad - but so angry at the same time. At Jungkook for lying to you and making you hope something. At Suzi and Taehyung for introducing you to him. At you for your stupid crush on him. You wish you'd never seen his picture on Instagram, you'd never clicked on his profile, you'd never talked to him, kissed him and fallen in love with him.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Suzi asks gently while you are struggling with your make-up. "Is this about Jungkook?"

You freeze at the name, a noticeable pain striking your heart and you wish you didn't feel the pain physically.

"Yes, it's about him" You try to focus on the mirror but you feel your eyes filling with water, again. "He-He said he doesn't want to see me anymore"

"What?!"

You look at Suzi in the mirror, she looks angry and... so fucking surprised. You lift a brow in a silence question.

"This guy is so fucking crazy, I don't understand him" She finally says after recovering her voice.

"Tell me about it" You sigh

"No, Y/N, you don't understand. I heard him talking on the phone with Tae. He said he liked you, he wanted to spend time with you... I mean, it doesn't make sense saying that to his best friend and treating you like that"

You wish her words didn't soften your heart because you shouldn't feel anything about Jungkook, even if it's about him liking you. Or pretendedly liking you.

"Well, maybe it's because Tae is your boyfriend and you are my best friend so he said that to not be an ass"

"But he is an ass"

Suzi gets closer to you and hugs you tightly. You close your eyes, appreciating how her love wraps around you just like her fragile arms.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. You don't deserve that. You are such a great person. I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you, too Susu"

She kisses your cheeks and wipes a tear from your eye.

You are working more than usual, no taking any break and starting a new task as soon as you finish one. You have to keep yourself busy. It's the only way you'll not cry in front of everyone. That doesn't mean that your colleagues don't notice you look like shit but they are kind enough not to say anything.

You have decided you won't love ever again because it's way too painful. It's okay, you'll have a cat and you are sure Suzi or Jongseob will be kind enough to let you stay at their place when they'll be married with kids. You don't need to be loved, you just need to don't suffer like that ever again because you know you won't survive. You already know the name of the cat: Bam.

"Hi Y/N"

You startle at Namjoon's voice. You were so in your work that you didn't notice him coming at you.

"Hi" Your voice is less strong and cheerful that you hoped

"I was thinking of eating out tonight, do you want to join?" Namjoon kindly asks you.

Honestly, he has noticed how sad you were today and it did make his heart ache. Deep down, he suspects something about the guy who has eaten with you two the other day but he can't be sure and he doesn't want to push you. He is just wishing to cheer you up because yes, Namjoon is a great guy. The kind that won't hug another woman and tell her he loves her the next day after having sex with you.

In your head, an internal struggle takes place. Do you want to have dinner with Namjoon tonight? On the one hand, you know you won't be good company because you are not in a good mood to say the least. Are you selfish enough to accept when you know you will probably deprive him from a good evening after a long day of work? On the other hand, spending time with Namjoon means keeping your mind occupy and keeping your heart - relatively - sound for a few hours before going home and cry out, once again, all the tears from your body.

You decide to give him the choice because it's only fair to him.

"Are you sure? I won't be the funniest friend for the night" You try to joke but fail miserably when your laugh turns out to be more a weird snort

"I'm sure, I'll be funny for two"

You don't know what kind of magic holds Namjoon but he manages to draw a weak smile on your face. Once again, you wonder why you didn't fall in love with him rather than with Jungkook. You wouldn't be heartbroken.

————

When you knocked on his door yesterday, Jungkook was surprised to see you. He completely forgot he was supposed to see you. Well, all his life has been shaken upside down when she came back.

When he moved to Seoul five years ago, he wanted to leave his old life behind. His old demons too. He wanted to be a better man and maybe, just maybe, be happy, just once. Honestly, he thought he could be with you. When Tae just told him about you, he was skeptical: it wasn't the first time his best friend tried to introduce him a woman. But you were different. You are different. He is not going to lie, your first encounter was quite something! He can't deny that when he first saw you - or your ass to be more precise - he found you so hot. But then, when he saw you shy around him, he felt flatted that such a great woman was interested in him. He'd never thought in a billion years that someone this beautiful, funny, smart and kind could want him. But you did.

When he fucked you on his dinner table, it wasn't just sex for him. When you hugged him after you both had reached your highs, he felt loved. He almost cried of how good it felt. So he thought that, maybe if he were lucky enough, one day you could love him like he was starting to love you. He might not have starting things right with you by fucking you on his table but he was willing to rectify it by going on a date and official asking you to be his girlfriend. His first real girlfriend. He was so stressed you would say no but you were worth at least trying.

But then, she came back.

Jungkook just wanted to see Tae and ask for advice for your date. She was waiting outside his building. He was so fucking surprised to see her. He hadn't see her in years. The last time was in Busan, before he moved to Seoul to start his new life. She asked for his help. What was he supposed to do? She was his best friend. At least, she used to be. He had left her once, he couldn't do it again. Maybe it was fate: just a reminder that he wasn't good enough for you and that he'll never be. You didn't know him, you didn't know what he had done. It was better to stop everything now before you break his heart when he'd tell you about his past because there was no way you'd want him if you knew.

It was so hard and so painful to talk to you like that. To lie by saying he didn't want to see you again and that you misunderstood the signs because you were fucking right. He wanted to be with you. The pain in your eyes was unbearable, he almost told you that it was all a lie and hugged you tight to ease the pain he caused you. That's why he didn't look at you. If he had, he knew he would have given up all his good resolutions and it was too selfish. He hold on on the idea that you couldn't love him yet, it was too soon, and that you would find someone better than him. Perhaps, this Namjoon guy who works with you. His heart and fists clenched at the thought you'd be in someone else's arms, that someone else's would make love to you. He wished so much it could be him. Maybe in another life. A life he could be a good man from the start so he could be with you. 

previous ← 5 → next

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for Crashing On Crush, or for all the stories :)

[bullet-prooflove]

Valentine's Day Bingo: Commitment - Alexander 'Tig' Trager x Reader

Tagging: @mortal--soul @thatonesexycancerian @chaoticqueenie98 @buddinglinguist @fleureeee @spookyboogyuniverse @thanossexual @anime-weeb-4-life @redpoodlern @nu1freakshow @lexondeck @adaydreamaway08 @goblinenby @fanfic-n-tabulous @just-a-girl-who-wrytes @ankhmutes @keyweegirlie @lora21 @trublu2u @thebaileybugle @joyfulfxckery @jp1019 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @multiflixshelves @luvvstvrkeyy @goosterroose @parkersbunny76 @hatersaremymotivators @@fictional-fantasy @courtney-elizabeth93 @fanfic-n-tabulous

Crazy, Fucked Up Kind of Love - Tig discovers your secret.

Not Leaving: - Tig tells you he's not leaving.

Show You - Tig shows you how beautiful you really are.

Welcome Home (NSFW) - You welcome Tig home in a very special way.

Bonnie - Tig brings home a new addition to the family.

Special Delivery - Tig and you get a special surpise on Christmas Eve.

Hitting the Expensive Jewellery Bingo Square

You’re playing with the baby when Tig gets in that night. Both you and Matty are lying on his playmat, his tiny fist clasped around your finger as he kicks his legs and burbles to you. Tig can’t help but smile at the sight, he never expected to fall in love, have a family but here you are with his son, in the home the two of you share.

When he puts Matty down in his crib that night, he spends a long time standing over his son, watching the raise and fall of his chest.  Sometimes he can’t believe that this is real, that he can be this lucky. He knows he doesn’t deserve it, he’s done some terrible shit in his life but when he looks at you and Matty, he counts his blessings because he’s never been as happy as he is with the two of you.

You’re folding laundry in the bedroom when he finds you. You smile as he wraps his arms around your body, drawing you back against his chest. He buries his face into the curve of your neck, his lips trailing lightly over your skin.

“You know I’d be a shitty husband right?” He murmurs into your ear as you reach up behind you, your fingers threading through his unruly dark curls.

“I’d be a shitty wife.” You remind him.

It’s a familiar conversation. The women in his life before, they wanted to settle, get married. Crow eaters aspire to become old ladies and getting pregnant is the ideal way to trap a man. It doesn’t matter with who.

You’ve always been an anomaly in his life, unpredictable and unrelenting. You don’t want a ring on your finger, you don’t agree with what it symbolises, you belong to yourself and yourself only.

 For Tig the idea of marriage feels like a stranglehold, he’s been there done that and he hated every single second of it. The love he has for you it goes far beyond anything he’s ever felt for anyone else but a wedding ring isn’t where it leads.

He withdraws the necklace from the pocket of his jeans, his fingers fiddling with the clasp before he drapes it around your neck. Your fingertips skate over the three little circlets entwined together, gold for him, silver for Matty and rose gold for you. He’d had it made especially by a jeweller up in Stockton because whilst neither of you wants a ring, he wants to show his commitment to you, his dedication.

“I love you Suzy.” He whispers as you settle back into his arms, his cheek coming to rest upon the top of your head. “I hope you know just how much.”

Love Tig? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Can’t get enough of Tig? Check out his Masterlist here!

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy 

Eddie Munson X Female Reader

Summary:Prom night with Eddie

Warnings:Majority fluff with just the smallest smidge of angst (but don’t worry it all gets resolved in the end), Friends to lovers, Idiots in love. Probably an awful understanding of how American proms work?

Word Count:2,446

Authour’s Note: I don’t really know what possessed me to write this, but I know I wanted to try to write something cute and fluffy with eddie..so I guess that’s what this is?

Masterlist

This is so stupid Eddie thought to himself as he looked over all the posters and decorations hanging from the ceilings of the school hallways.

“What was that, Ed?” you asked him, your eyes turning to your friend.

Oh! Did he say that out loud? Oh well it was true anyway, or at least Eddie thought so.

“Prom. It’s such a stupid idea! I mean it’s just one night and you have to get dressed up all fancy and everything!" He said, throwing his arms up with a dramatic flourish. "Not to mention all those loved-up couples smooching on the dance floor!" He finished. 

“Oh..um.. Yeah, no totally..it’s like, so stupid.” you laughed, trying to cover up your dissapointment. You had hoped that Eddie would ask you to prom. It was probably stupid to have a crush on your best friend for as long as you have, but despite how cliche it was, you wanted Eddie to be the one to hold you close on the dance floor during the slow, romantic songs.  

Eddie looked at you and he swore he could see a brief look of sadness in your eyes. Did you want to go to prom? Did you want to go to prom with him? No. Things like that just didn’t happen, not to guys like Eddie anyway. He was never going to be lucky enough that the girl of his dreams, who just happened to be his best friend, would want to go to prom with him. You were probably thinking about some other boy, dreaming of being swept off your feet by one of the popular boys.

Besides, you weren’t like all the other girls in school, you didn’t want to get all dressed up and fancy for just one night, right? 

“Anyways, I’ve got to get to class now Ed!” You say quickly, changing the subject. “I’ll catch up with you later” you shouted down the hall to him as you made your way to the classroom.

—--------

Eddie sat down with the rest of the Hellfire boys at lunch, his eyes frantically scanning the cafeteria doors, looking for you.

“You alright there, man?” Gareth asks, noticing the unusually twitchy demeanour of the dungeon master.

“...yeah..no, no I’m good, man..” he says, turning his attention back to his friends sitting at the table.

“Are you sure, dude? Because it looks like something’s on your mind. You wanna talk about it?” Jeff asks, chiming in to the conversation.

“So… Are you guys..like..I don’t know..thinking of going to prom?” Eddie voices.

“Are you asking me to be your date, Eddie? Because I think you might be barking up the wrong tree there, my friend.” Gareth laughs.

“Shut up man, I didn’t mean that!” Eddie explains. “What I meant was, are you thinking of asking a girl to go to prom with you?”

“I’m going to go with Suzie!” Dustin perks up. “She’s visiting for the summer and I’ve already asked her if she’ll go with me..and of course she said yes, so we’re going together!” he smiles.

“..And my girlfriend is visiting from California and she’s going with me!” Mike adds.

“Wait, so you two kids have got dates to prom?” Eddie says, turning his eyes to the two younger Hellfire members.

“..Well..Yeah?” Dustin replies as if it was obvious.

“And I asked Jenny Robinson from Chemistry class last week and she said she’d be happy to go with me!” Jeff beams with a grin.

“You too, Jeff?” Eddie turns to his friend with an incredulous look on his face.

“Well we’d been working together on our science project, and once I turned on the charm, she just couldn’t resist me” Jeff says smugly.

“Okay, now I know you’re lying!” Gareth laughed at his friend’s admission. “Anyway, what’s got you so interested in going to prom all of a sudden, Eddie?” 

“I bet he's thinking about a certain girl he’s always hanging out with, huh” Mike jabs as he nudges his elbow into Eddie.

“Shut up, Wheeler! Say anything else and I’ll see that your character dies in the next campaign.” Eddie taunts.

A chorus of “oooohs” erupt from everyone at the table.

“Dude, there’s no harm in asking her, you know. I wouldn’t be going with Jenny if I never asked her. You never know, she might feel the same way about you too.” Jeff offers.

Eddie whips his head round to look at Jeff.

“What? Did she say something to you?” Eddie asks, his voice rising ever so slightly and the red flush of a blush creeps up from his chest and spreads across his cheeks in a rosy glow.

“Look Eddie, you guys are best friends, right?” Dustin coaxed.

“Sure man, she’s my best friend, I lov-” Eddie stops mid sentence, surprised at his own admission, his heart and brain working a lot faster than his mouth can keep up with. 

“Wait a minute, did Eddie Munson just drop the “L bomb”?” Mike teased.

Eddie’s embarrassment had his blush deepening at the hands of Mike Wheeler’s teasing jokes. 

Eddie stood up, needing to get away, as he walked away from his friends sitting at the table.

“Too far, Mike..” Dustin said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder and shaking his head disapprovingly at him.

“Oh I thought it might be my fault!” Mike whined.

—------

 You walked out from the library into the school hallway to go to your next lesson. You had spent your lunch break in there, not being able to face Eddie quite yet, the embarrassment of your earlier interaction still burned into your memory.

As you made your way to your next class you heard a familiar voice calling your name from the end of the hall. Looking back you see the all too recognisable bounce of messy curls and distressed Judas Priest T-shirt make their way to you.

“Hey I missed seeing you at lunch earlier, where did you go?” Eddie said as he fell into pace with you.

“Oh I was just catching up on some studying in the library.” you told him.

“You’re already so smart, Sugar. You know..you work yourself too hard sometimes, you deserve to have some fun too.” his lips turn up into a smile as he looks at you with those big brown eyes.

“Thanks, Teddy..You’re always so sweet to me” you smiled back at him.

—--------

Eddie hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day, he worries if he’d said something to upset you. You’ve never been distant with him before, not like this. He couldn’t lie, having one of his closest friends avoid him like this had really hurt his feelings, he just wanted to make things right with you. If he had upset you, he was going to fix things, he just wanted you back in his life. 

—-------

You were in your bedroom, laying back on your bed, trying to read a book, however the sound of something rustling outside your bedroom window was distracting you.

Putting your bookmark between the pages, you set your book down on your bedside table and get up to go and investigate the source of the noise.

Looking out of your window, you see that Eddie has begun to climb the drain pipe up to your bedroom window.

“Eddie!! What the hell do you think you’re doing” you screech quietly, acutely aware of your parents only just downstairs.

“I needed to see you.” he explains, as you help him into your bedroom.

“Did I do something to upset you? You’ve practically been avoiding me all day” his voice drops, as his gaze casts downwards, looking at the floor.

“Upset me? Eddie, you could never upset me.” you say catching his eyes.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” 

Your heart shatters at how dejected he sounds. You truly hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings in the way that you did. Distancing yourself from him was something that had seemed like a good idea in your mind, thinking that maybe the space would lessen your crush on him, however in your plan to preserve your dignity around him, you failed to see how much it was hurting him.

Huffing out a breath to steady your nerves, you begin to try to explain yourself.

“You have to understand, Eddie, it was never my intention to hurt you, and I am so sorry for treating you the way I did. You’re a good friend to me, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

His deep brown eyes are focussed on you, as you continue.

“It’s just that when we were talking earlier and you mentioned how stupid you thought the idea of going to prom was, I realised how stupid it was to get my hopes up that you were ever going to ask me to go to prom with you.” 

“Wait…you…wanted to go to prom..with me?" His eyes searching yours for any sense of a joke.

“Eddie…” you start softly. “I only ever wanted to go to prom if I could go with you. As stupid as it sounds, I just wanted you to be the one to hold me close on the dancefloor.” you admit shyly.

“I only said that prom was a stupid idea because I never thought that you would want to go with me, I mean why would you? You’re so beautiful, you could have your choice of any guy..” Eddie trails off.

“I don’t want just any guy, Eddie. I want you.”

“C’mere, Sugar..” he says as he wraps in the warmth of his arms, the smell of leather, smoke and something so distinctly Eddie invades your senses. 

His lips gently place a soft kiss to the crown of your head. 

He pulls away from you for a brief moment, a cheeky grin pulling at his lips.

“Princess, would you do me the most incredible honour, of gracing me with your presence and accompanying me to the ball.” he finishes with a bow and outstretched open hand.

He always had a flair for the dramatics, that was one of things that you adored about him.

“Well who would I be to deny such a sweet request from a handsome, brave knight such as yourself? Yes, Eddie! I’ll go with you!” you beam brightly.

—------

Sure enough prom night rolls and Eddie along with his uncle Wayne pull up to your house. Waiting in the van, Wayne lays a reassuring hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Y’know, you didn’t have to come with me all the way to her house.” Eddie says, looking at his uncle with a small smile playing at his lips.

“What? And miss the opportunity to snap some photos of my boy all dressed up nice like this, I don’t think so.” Wayne drawls out, a smirk gracing the older Munson’s face.

Eddie and Wayne make their way to your front door where they are promptly welcomed in by your mother who upon seeing Eddie immediately makes a fuss over him.

He’s wearing a nice dark suit, with a crisp white shirt and matching black tie, and a small bouquet of pink flowers is pinned through his button-hole. His unruly curls are tied in a small bundle at the nape of the neck.

“Oh! Eddie!! You look so handsome like this!” your mother bubbled as she brought Eddie into a tight hug.

Eddie flushed at the praise.

“She’s just finishing up getting ready..” your mother told Eddie.

The next thing Eddie knew he was watching you with wide eyes as you began to descend the stairs.

You’re wearing a beautiful blush pink dress, with layers of delicate lace and tulle that skirts out around you. Your hair is perfectly styled with delicate curls that frame your face making you look almost angelic in Eddie’s eyes.

You make your way over to him to place a sweet and soft kiss to his cheek.

“You look very handsome, Teddy” you say sweetly.

“Princess, you look stunning, I can’t believe I get to go to prom with the most beautiful girl  in the whole of the school”

“You’ve not even seen the other girls, Teddy” you shyly giggle from his compliment.

“Don’t need to. I know you’re going to be the most beautiful girl there, no doubt about it”

“Alright kids, gather together” Wayne shouts “Let me get a picture of the lovely couple.”

You let Wayne take a few nice pictures, where you stood close to Eddie with his hands holding their place around your waist. Then you feel Eddie lean in close to your ear, as he whispers to you.

“When I say so, let’s make a silly face for the camera.” he whispers to you with a smirk.

“One more! Say cheese!” Wayne instructed from behind the camera lens.

“Now!” Eddie laughs before you both stick out your tongues and Eddie cheekily holds two fingers behind your head to resemble bunny ears.

“Damnit boy, can’t I at least have one picture of you where you look nice?” Wayne berates him with a huff, as a wry smile tugs its way at the corner of the older Munson’s face. He’s just pleased to see how happy you make Eddie.

“Now, if you lovely people will excuse us, I’ve got to take this beautiful princess to the ball..” Eddie smiles as he ushers you towards the door and out to his van.

—------

You and Eddie had spent the entire evening twirling around the dancefloor, and laughing the night away. The sounds of everyone else gathered in the hall fade into the background, your focus is entirely on the man who’s holding you close to his chest as he sways your bodies to a slow song.

“Never knew you were such a good dancer, Ed” you say, as your head is pressed against his chest as he guides you across the crowded floor.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Sugar” Eddie teases.

“You’re so cute, Teddy” you blush before finding the confidence to do something that you’d been wanting to do all night.

Looking up from resting your head on his chest, you press up on to the tips of your toes to kiss him. His eyes widen in shock for a moment before you feel him relax into the kiss, and smile against your lips.

“Thanks for this, Teddy. You’ve made this night perfect.” you smiled.

You couldn’t have imagined this night going any better. You got to kiss and be held on the dancefloor by the most handsome boy in the whole school, and your relationship with Eddie was stronger than ever. 

[r3ddusk]

how mentally stable are you

anon,

im listening to booty shorts by suzie on repeat while writing chubby man x twink yaoi on ao3

aka yeah im mentally stable is lying

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Sweet serenade (part 2)

Bunty Windermere x reader. This is part two of two. Part one is here.

My first Father Brown fic! The Polish resettlement camp mentioned here is the one Suzie lived in, even though it hasn’t been mentioned since season 1. I usually watch Father Brown dubbed in my language, which is why I’m not sure I can faithfully portray the “voice” of the characters, with the appropriate 1950s lingo and all that; any suggestion is appreciated!

Warning: mentions of homophobia.

*****

“Here you go, dear.” mrs McCarthy murmured soothingly as she offered (name) a cup of freshly made tea; seeing the younger woman didn’t react, she put it directly in her hands “Drink it while it’s hot; it will make you feel better.”

(name) nodded numbly, but placed the cup on the table in front of her without taking a sip, before staring helplessly at the two people in front of her; they were all sitting in the presbitery’s kitchen, where Father Brown had had to lead her by hand, since the young woman was still in shock. Completely lost, and all too aware both the priest and his parish secretary knew as little as she did, she nonetheless asked: “How could it happen?”

“It is clearly a mistake, and I’m sure we can find a solution.”

“I really hope so, Father. It… it’s ridiculous! Bunty is not a murderer, anyone who knows her a little would know.” she protested, looking helplessly around her as if hoping to be reassured and, more importantly, to find a proof of her partner’s innocence simply there in front of her “... but the inspector must have reason to think she’s guilty, otherwise he wouldn’t have arrested her…”

A terribly pale mrs McCarthy offered Father Brown a cup of tea, and he thanked her with a nod, too deep in his thoughts to speak; they had already discussed about calling lady Felicia to inform her, since the older woman was her niece’s de facto tutor during her permanence in Kembleford, but Father Brown had decided to wait, in the hope that the matter would be solved quickly.  

“What did Mallory say the name of the victim was?” the parish secretary inquired “Thaddeus...?”

“Tadeusz; I’m almost sure it was a Polish name.”

“I don’t think Bunty has any friends among the camp’s residents.”

“What can we do?” (name) wondered; she was still terribly pale and upset, but as she spoke her tone got firm, the focused, lucid look of a woman who had taken a blow and was ready to react “Father, you have already been involved in the Police’s investigations, and you have helped discharge many people they had accused unjustly. You think you could do the same for Bunty? I could help you… investigating…”

“I’ll do everything I can, since I am as sure of her innocence as you are.” the priest reassured her, doing his best to hide how upset he was himself; he had been able to prove the innocence of many accused the Police had already put behind bars, but the fact that this time it was a personal friend, a young woman who had been entrusted to his custody, did make things different “But before deciding what to do, I think we’d better wait for our guest…”

“A guest? Who do you…?”

The doorbell rang. “... who has just arrived.” the priest concluded with a smile; mrs McCarthy went to the door, returning a moment later accompanied by sergeant Goodfellow, his face gloomy. 

“I don’t have much time, Father.”

“What can you tell us, sergeant?” 

Goodfellow sat with the others and accepted a cup of tea; he retrieved a notebook from his breast pocket. “The victim’s name was Tadeusz Chodakievicz.” he explained, without stumbling on the difficult to pronounce name “Twenty-nine years old, unemployed, resident of Kembleford’s Polish camp. His brother didn’t see him this morning, went looking for him at home, and found him lying on his bed; he had been shot twice in the face, and since there are no signs of a struggle we believe he was attacked as he slept.”

“What a vile behaviour.” mrs McCarthy pointed out grimly; she was now busy pouring some tea for herself.

“When was this man killed?” 

“In the early hours of last night, according to the coroner, even though he said he can’t be sure before examining the body.”

“What does Bunty have to do with all of this?” (name) wondered, talking for the first time, her voice barely above a whisper; Goodfellow looked at her, compassion in his eyes.

“As we searched Chodakievicz’s room, we found a women’s handbag under the bed. Inside there were a few cosmetics, an empty wallet… and miss Windermere’s personal documents.” he explained.

(name) seemed to perk up suddenly. “Her handbag?” she inquired “Is it a leather one, blue? And do you know if this man owned a moped?”

“Yes, that’s the one, and while Chodakievicz himself didn’t own a moped, his brother did, and he borrowed it often.”

“That handbag was stolen from Bunty! I remember it well, it happened six months ago, the day after she arrived in Kembleford. A man on a moped, who neither she or I, who were nearby, could recognize, mugged her and took the handbag away. Do you remember, Father? I’m sure Bunty told you.”

“I remember well.” the priest agreed “If memory serves, the handbag had been a gift from lady Felicia.”

“Exactly. Clearly this Tadeusz was the mugger, and after the theft he kept the handbag instead of throwing it away. Sergeant, you need to tell the inspector immediately!”

Unfortunately, Goodfellow looked much less hopeful than (name). “Did miss Windermere report the theft of her handbag?” he inquired, and when the young woman shook her head in response he sighed “In that case unfortunately it is impossible to prove the fact ever took place, even with your testimony; looking at the facts, one could argue that miss Windermere snuck in Chodakievicz’s home, killed him and forgot her handbag there when she left.”

“It seems an extremely naive behaviour for a killer.” Father Brown pointed out “Also, I think anyone who is, or was, acquainted with either Bunty and this man can attest the two of them didn’t know each other, and had nothing in common; there would be no reason for his murder.”

“I agree, Father, and I’m not saying miss Windermere is guilty; but at the moment she’s the only suspect, and… well, inspector Mallory doesn’t seem willing to look for another one.”

(name) swore under her breath; no one reacted.

Goodfellow hesitated for a moment. “She lives here, am I correct?” he asked, and mrs. McCarthy nodded. 

“Yes, Bunty occupies the spare room on the first floor.” 

“In that case… Well, is there someone who could testify about her whereabouts last night? Did you hear, or even better see, her get up for a drink of water or something like that? After all the Polish resettlement camp is across town; can you attest that miss Windermere was in her bed… or somewhere else?”

An unpleasant, embarrassed silence fell on the room. Father Brown’s gaze was fixated on his knees, the face of a man deep in his thoughts; mrs McCarthy looked questioningly at (name), the younger woman got the hint and blushed furiously.

“I’m afraid we are both heavy sleepers, sergeant.” the priest answered in the end, already asking for forgiveness for that small lie in his heart “So even if Bunty had risen to go to the toilet or fix herself something to eat, we didn’t notice.”

“I see. Well, I’m sure that if miss Windermere is innocent, which I don’t doubt, it’ll come out, and we’ll find the true killer.” Goodfellow replied, even though he didn’t look more convinced than Father Brown or the two women next to him; he thanked mrs McCarthy for the tea and left, explaining he had to be back at the station before Mallory wondered where he was “There is no need to accompany me, I know the way.”

As soon as she and her friends were alone once more, (name) sobbed - just once, as if she were determined to keep herself in check, allowing herself only the smallest sign of weakness. “I can’t believe it, this is a nightmare… and it’s all my fault…”

“This is not true.” mrs McCarthy corrected her, taking the younger woman’s hand in her own “At all.”

“Well, not in the sense that I killed that man, clearly, but if it weren’t for me, you and Father Brown could attest to Bunty’s alibi, say that she was at home as usual. You see, last night we… we had a…” (name) stammered, still red in the face; she was almost sure neither Father Brown nor mrs McCarthy would reprimand her, at least while they had a much bigger problem at their hands, but she had never felt uneasy about having to discuss her preference for partners of her own gender before, and it was not a pleasant sensation. 

Father Brown was quick to come to her rescue. “The details of your relationship with Bunty only concern the two of you, and I wouldn’t want to judge you in any case.” he reassured her kindly “Right now we have to find a way to help her. I must ask you: was Bunty with you the whole night?”

(name) could have attested for every single moment of those nine hours, since she had spent most of them holding Bunty in her arms. 

“Oh, yes; she came to my house just before ten o’clock, and stayed with me until this morning, when we both left early to go prepare the shop for the opening… which I imagine will have to be postponed now.” she reflected with a sigh; proving Bunty’s innocence was of course more important than anything else, but the young woman was heartbroken, already sure she would have to cancel, rather than simply postponing, the event. Just that morning, she had thought she had it all; a lovely partner by her side, even though their relationship was still mostly a secret, and her own business about to be officially inaugurated, and now… 

Now I feel just like the day I lost mom and dad. God, it hurts so much. 

“So no one could have seen Bunty near the Polish camp last night.” 

(name) opened her arms, helpless. “Unless someone lies about it, whatever the reason, or she is secretly able to be in two different places at the same time, I would say no.”

“This is already important for us. Now… I’d like you to go to her.” Father Brown instructed her “I’m sure Bunty has never needed the comfort of a friend like she does now. Also, the two of you could discuss the possibility of telling inspector Mallory Bunty does have an alibi for last night.”

(name) said she wasn’t so sure it would help, since everyone in Kembleford knew she and Bunty were great friends, and what value could such an alibi have? “But I guess it’s worth trying, if only because it could be our only chance to help her.” she sighed as she stood from the table; she looked at the still full, but by now cold, cup of tea in front of her, bit her lip, and inquired: “Where are you going, Father?”

“There is someone else I need to talk to, about… the cleaning.” the priest answered vaguely; he had the sort of look his friends knew well, when he was reflecting deeply on a matter, the keen intelligence few expected from such a meek, unassuming person fast at work “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Mrs McCarthy, who was as worried for Bunty as the others, wished to do something to help as well, but Father Brown asked her to remain home; he’d send word in case of need, but in any case they would give the younger woman her love. 

He and (name) left the presbytery together; they were meant to take different paths, but a moment before parting she called him. “You know, Father?” she asked, a sad, helpless smile dancing on her lips; Father Brown had known (name) since she was born, and suddenly if felt as if she hadn’t grown much since then - or at least since her parents had died, more than a decade before, and she was still the lonely young girl entrusted to an aunt and uncle who didn’t know what to do with her “I asked her; Bunty. To… go public, to tell people we are more than friends; I don’t think it would come as a surprise to many, I know there are rumours about me in the village. You’ve known me for so long, you know I don’t like hiding… but even otherwise, for her I would have done it gladly. I care for Bunty very much; maybe you… can’t approve…”

Father Brown smiled; he didn’t ask what Bunty’s opinion about the possibility of living their relationship in the open was. “And you have known me long enough to know I am not interested in judging, and even less in condemning. I think you and Bunty were lucky to find each other. Do not lose hope.” he urged her; he wasn’t talking just about the chance of proving Bunty’s innocence and they both knew it. (name) nodded numbly, her expression full of fear.

Ramrod straight, her face held high -the posture of a woman who had nothing to be ashamed of and wouldn’t let anyone persuade her otherwise- (name) marched through the entrance of Kemblefold’s police station; sergeant Goodfellow was once again behind the counter, but inspector Mallory was coming out of his office right then and it was him the young woman addressed, her tone courteous but firm. “Good afternoon. I’m here to visit miss Penelope Windermere.”

“Why?”

“Because I appreciate her company, and I think right now she needs mine.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt you and Windermere enjoy each other’s company, miss (last name).” Mallory replied, his tone heavy with sarcasm and an innuendo (name) pretended not to catch; she had had to contend with that sort of insinuation, people feeling free to openly discuss her personal matters simply because she didn’t feel the need to hide them, for half her life, and by now she knew how to control herself. Until the day I’ll break someone’s face with my fist, she thought; the short, moustached man in front of her seemed an ideal candidate “And I’m warning you, if Father Brown sent you to snoop around, because he’s carrying out an… investigation of his own…”

“No one sent me, inspector; but, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m pretty sure that according to the law any prisoner has the right to receive two visitors per day, excluding their lawyer and a religious adviser, which means you have no right to send me away. Now, will you show me where Bunty is kept or shall I have to walk around the station until I find her?”

Mallory’s glare suggested he’d want nothing better than to throw her in a cell as well; the inspector didn’t answer but, clearly annoyed, led (name) at the back, to a small but clean cell. He opened the door for her, and “Fifteen minutes, and no funny business.” he warned, before leaving the two women alone.

(name) didn’t bother to lower her voice. “What an idiotic bully! It’s like my mother used to say, the shorter they are the more they feel the need to compensate.” she said, but Bunty didn’t answer; she was sitting primly on the bench, her hands in her lap, staring into the void; she didn’t react when (name) sat next to her, across from a large damp spot on the wall “Hi… how do you feel?”

“Not bad. My room is not exactly the Ritz, and there is no French cuisine-specialised chef like I was promised, but the maid brought back my dress perfectly ironed…

“Stop joking around, Bunty!” (name) reprimanded her, even though she felt about to tear up herself; she had promised herself she would be strong, strong enough for both of them, comforting Bunty and reassuring her that proving her innocence was just a matter of time, but seeing her in that moment, so pale, so small and afraid, made her feel ready to burst into tears.   

Bunty smiled at her; joyless, helpless, and hopeless. “What do you want me to do? I’ve been accused of murder, and Mallory says they have no other lead; you will admit I have little to rejoice about.”

(name) bit her lip, reminding herself this was not the right moment to discuss the nature, or rather the secrecy, of their relationship; first she had to get Bunty out of prison, and then they could discuss why the other woman didn’t feel comfortable with holding her hand in public. “You could tell the inspector you do have an alibi.” she suggested.

Bunty’s answer was immediate, and stubborn. “No, I can’t; I can’t tell anyone anything.” she said, and (name) knew there was so much at stake, her partner’s freedom and maybe even her life -a man had been murdered, after all, capital punishment could not be ruled out- and Bunty was innocent, a young woman who had a whole life ahead of her, and compared to that (name)’s own feelings had no importance whatsoever… 

… still, it was hard not to take it personally. 

(name) sighed. Her resolution lasted exactly five seconds; she felt the most egotistical woman in Great Britain, but she couldn’t help it. “Listen, if you don’t… feel the same as I do, at least for now…” she began, and Bunty looked at her, incredulous; for a moment she seemed to fully forget she had been accused of murder.

“You really think that’s the problem? That I don’t tell anyone, that I don’t shout from the rooftops, that I’m with you… because I don’t care enough? That I don’t care about you?!”

“Well… you always told me you are not the relationship type, and it is true that we have been seeing each other only for a few weeks…”

“Oh, God, (name)...”

Bunty sighed, a hand over her face, then she used it to take (name)’s, eyes full of determination. “It’s true, I’ve never been much interested in boyfriends or stable relationships.” she admitted “But it’s also true that before coming to Kembleford I had never met anyone like you. You… you are special, (name); very special, for me. I’m sorry if I never proved it to you like you deserved.”

“You’re special to me as well, Bunty. More than anyone I have ever met.” (name) replied; for a short, precious moment true, pure happiness was all her heart could feel. She smiled, using her free hand to cup Bunty’s cheek, before the reality of the danger her partner was in crashed on her shoulders “But then… why don’t you want to tell the inspector you were with me last night?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Don’t tell me you worry about the gossip! Bunty, I’m sorry I have to tell you, but most of the village already suspects we are more than friends.”

Bunty sighed; she had always lived as if she didn’t give a damn about people’s opinion about her, and it was mostly true, but… “I’m not talking about the people here in Kembleford. I…”

She hesitated; Bunty trusted (name), fully and completely, and knew the other woman had the right to know the truth, but simply thinking back at that horrible night of ten years ago still filled her with shame. 

“When I was sixteen, there was a young maid who worked at my parents’ place; her name was Merry, and…”

(name) listened to the story intently; hearing about her partner’s old flame, of their relationship and of the disastrous consequences this had had on poor Meredith’s life once Bunty’s parents, or rather her father, had learnt about it, filled her with indignation. “So this is what, or who, you’re afraid of; your father.” 

Bunty sighed.“It is. You know, it’s weird; all my life, since I was twelve, I have gone from one guy to the next, I have given scandal more than once… I have dated married men, ended up on the tabloids, and my father… I’m not saying he was happy, I got into trouble so many times, but when he found me with Merry, when he discovered that I… liked girls…”

It still felt weird to say; and scary, as if her father could appear suddenly, make good on his promise of ten years before, and destroy her life.

“... I really thought he would kill me, or at least throw me out of the house. He… hurt me…”

“He hit you?” (name) asked, unbelieving and horrified; she knew already, from what Bunty had told her, that she and her partner’s father were not destined to be friends, but suddenly she wished she could have him in front of her, to tell him what she thought about him “Oh, God, Bunty…” 

“Don’t worry, I survived; thank God aunt Fliss stopped him before he could use his belt.” Bunty explained, and shivered; she was now an adult, almost as tall as his father, but the memory of that night still haunted her “But for weeks life at home was… unbearable, and my father looked at me as if… as if he regretted having me; as if he were disgusted of having me under his roof. From then on… we never spoke of it again, but we somehow made a pact: I can do more or less what I want, as long as it’s always and only men. If he knew I was with a girl again, if he only had reason to suspect I did… then I know I wouldn’t be welcome home ever again.”

(name) bit her lip; now they were both feeling guilty. “I’m so sorry.” she murmured “I never wanted to… trouble you…”

“It’s not your fault if my father is… what he is; and I always thought that as long as I remain in Kembleford I can do more or less what I want, since he and my mother would never come here and would have no way to know who I spend time with. Now things have changed; telling the inspector I have spent last night with you could prove I didn’t kill that man, but then the news would spread, the papers could talk about it… and my father would never speak to me again.”

(name) was still unconvinced - and heartbroken; she knew her partner didn’t mean to hurt her, but knowing she was a secret Bunty planned on keeping from her family in London taking advantage of the distance, like the mistresses some rich men bought an apartment for away from their family home, was not pleasant. “Would it be so terrible for you to lose your father’s respect?” she inquired “From what you have told me he doesn’t seem to deserve it, or you.”

Bunty grimaced; she knew (name) had lost her own parents when she was young and couldn’t therefore fully understand her situation, but the question felt indelicate all the same. “That we don’t always see eye to eye doesn’t mean that I don’t want him in my life. I do love my father; and you can’t understand, he was so furious that day… I know he would never forgive me, not to mention he would surely cut me off and I would be left penniless.”

“I’d rather starve than having to hide the truth about my feelings.”

Bunty looked at her, her gaze a mixture of admiration and incredulity. “You really don’t give a damn about what people think about you, do you?”

“I have never hidden what I am, what I want, and what sort of company I like; you may very well say I am used to gossip, since I kissed the girl who sat next to me in geometry during recess when I was thirteen and she told the whole class.” (name) replied with a shrug; she had had her heart broken so many times she had lost count and having people she was fond of suddenly start to avoid her wasn’t pleasant, but she had always known she had nothing to be ashamed of “When I was still a child I promised myself I would let no one stop me from living my life, no matter how painful the consequences would be; also, I found out that making people face an uncomfortable truth is a good way to find out who your friends really are, and who you can live without instead.”

“Lucky you…”

(name) pointed out softly it was not a matter of luck, rather of choice, which in her case had been a forced one, given the loss of her parents, while Bunty had the possibility to actually decide what to do. “You are intelligent, resourceful and went to good schools. You would probably have to do without the comfort and luxuries your family grants you, but you could find a job to support yourself, and then no one could blackmail you anymore, economically and morally both; wouldn’t it be nice, not to have to hide anymore, and spend money you have earned?”

“(name)...”

“You could come live with me, until you can pay rent; you know I’d be happy to have you. Believe it or not, I know it would be painful to cut ties with your parents, because you love them despite everything, but Bunty, think about it… you really think it’s worth it, since your father doesn’t accept you for what you are? Everything you ask for is being free to love; what’s so wrong about that?” 

Bunty didn’t answer; she sighed, looking at her hands, too scared she was going to be sentenced to death to reflect on whether her parents’ financial support, and love, was worth hiding the truth about her and (name)’s relationship. “Well, according to what the sergeant told me, at least now I know what became of my blue handbag.”

“Well, that’s a relief…”

“You think I’m making a huge mistake, don’t you?”

(name) sighed, and admitted that yes, she did; she had been in the cell for five minutes and already felt the claustrophobia creeping in. Bunty would spend the rest of her life behind bars, or even lose her life, she thought, while the real killer got away; and worse of all, there was nothing she could do to help, since even if she went against the other woman’s desires, the alibi provided by a dear friend would never satisfy a jury. 

“But the choice is yours; and in any case, I doubt it would make much difference.” she pointed out “But don’t worry, we’ll find a solution; Father Brown is already working on it.”

Bunty made a valiant effort to laugh. “If the Father is at it I’m in safe hands.”

“I’m glad you think so. Now, is there something you want me to bring you? A book, or a sweater.” (name) proposed; she just wanted to be useful, to bring comfort to her partner, no matter how small or inconsequential her effort could be. Bunty shook her head; there was nothing she needed, just…

“Would you please hug me?” she asked, her voice small; the two of them had done much more than hugging, but that was everything the young woman needed at that moment, and she had never needed it more. (name) didn’t answer; she simply opened her arms and held Bunty tight, and the two of them remained in that position, still but holding on to one another, and parted, not without regret, only when inspector Mallory came to tell them the time at their disposal had run out. 

Maksym was sitting on a bench next to the caravan he shared with his family, in the heart of Kembleford’s Polish camp, with an English grammar book open on his lap; nevertheless, study seemed to be the last thing on his mind.

“I thought we had gone over that chapter last week.” Father Brown pointed out gently as he approached, and the boy jumped to his feet, suddenly on edge as if he had been caught while he committed a terrible crime… or he felt guilty for some reason. Only then the priest noticed that despite the warm, sunny day, he wore a heavy scarf around his neck. 

“Oh, God, I didn’t finish cleaning the sacristy! I forgot, Father, I’m so sorry, I’ll go straight away…”

“I’m not here for that… or to reproach you, whatever the reason. May I sit for a moment?”

“Of… of course.” Maksym answered, still clearly unsure, and went back to the bench as Father Brown sat next to him; the priest noticed the boy was avoiding his gaze.

“At one point I turned and you had disappeared.” he pointed out, trying not to make it sound like an accusation.

“Well… I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to be a bother, since it was clearly a serious matter; and Inspector Mallory doesn’t like us of the camp. Has… has miss Windermere been arrested?”

“Unfortunately she has; but I am confident we can find a way to prove she is innocent. Did you know him? That man, Tadeusz Chod… how do you pronounce it?”

Maksym shook his head; then, perhaps since his interlocutor was a priest, and a person he liked and trusted, and since no one would believed he didn’t know a person who was part of the same eighty-people community as him, he admitted: “Chodakievicz; yes, I knew him, even though we were not friends or anything. A couple of times he took me for a ride on his brother’s moped.”

“Did you like him?”

“He was alright; he didn’t bully younger boys like some other men do.”

“I see. And what about your parents? Did they know him?”

Maksym didn’t answer; he had hunched his shoulders, as if trying to make himself as small as possible, to disappear, to make his interlocutor forget his presence. Looking at him, Father Brown’s heart filled with pity; confession was supposed to make a person feel better, relieved, but the boy next to him was aware of the implications his words could have, and he felt no joy in pressing him, even if it meant helping Bunty. 

“And isn’t it a bit too warm for a scarf? Does your throat hurt?” 

“Father, please, let it go…”

“Let me see, Maksym.”

For a moment, the boy looked sorely tempted to make a dash; then, looking like a man walking towards the gallows, he did take his scarf off, exposing his neck… and a large, black bruise on the side of his throat. “I think he was aiming for my face, but he was drunk again, and he missed… sort of.” he explained with a sad smile; an hopeless, resigned smile “He had just woken up when I left; it’s better to stay clear of him, until he’s sober again.”

Father Brown, while filled with indignation for that act of violence, decided not to comment - at least for now. “Why did your father hit you?” he inquired once more “Maybe… you asked him a question he didn’t like?” 

Silence.

“Did your father kill Tadeusz?” 

Maksym answered that he didn’t know - not for sure, at least. “I am a very deep sleeper, and my dad is used to walk silently, shoes in his hand, when he returns home late from the pub, in case my little sister is sleeping; so I can’t be sure if yesterday he left in the middle of the night and to go to Tadeusz’s to… hurt him. It’s possible, but I have no proof.”

“Did your father and Tadeusz know each other?”

“They did, and… well, they didn’t like each other. They played cards, together with the other men of the camp, and Tadeusz always beat my dad. It was stupid, really, it wasn’t a matter of money, just… my dad couldn’t stand the fact that a man much younger than him ridiculed him in front of his friends; they had already come to blows more than once. Maybe yesterday Tadeusz made fun of him because my dad had lost against him again, and then he got drunk, and when I… when I asked him whether he had done something to Tadeusz he didn’t answer, but he hit me…” 

Maksym’s smile was full of sadness: he was tall for his age, more mature than men twice as old and he worked already to help support his family, but in that moment he looked lost and scared, like a child begging to be reassured everything would be all right.

“I know what you came to ask me, Father.” he whispered “And I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. I dare say you must.” 

“You don’t understand. I’m sorry for Tadeusz, and for miss Windermere, I like her and it’s terrible she’s been accused of a murder she didn’t commit, but this is my father we’re talking about! We need him; we have so little money already, and he’s the only one in my family who has a stable job, without him me, my mother and my little sister will starve! I’m ashamed of what he did, and I know he deserves to pay, but I can’t do it, because…”

“... because you love him. Am I right?”

The boy nodded, only once, as if he were ashamed of that as well. “He’s not always bad.” he murmured “It’s the alcohol that makes him do bad things. He treats my mom very well, and he’s usually patient with my little sister, even when she cries all night. Sometimes the two of us go fishing at the brook, and we talk; I like those moments. Also, he’s been in trouble with the law already, when he was younger; if he’s convicted of murder, he… I can’t take that responsibility, Father, I don’t want him to go; I… I’d miss him too much.”

Father Brown sighed, and admitted Maksym’s situation was one no child deserved to find himself in, especially at his age. “I’m sure you’ll do the right thing.” he conceded, and the boy looked at him, clearly surprised. 

“That’s it?” he inquired “You’re not going to insist, to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself, because I’m letting an innocent woman take the blame for a murder, and that God will punish me for that?”

“I have no intention of doing that… especially regarding that last point. You’re old enough to decide what to do… and I’ll consider this a confession, which means I’ll never tell a soul.”

“Not even the police?”

“Not even the police. I know how hard this is for you, Maksym, and I’m sorry; but whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. You have my word.”  

The boy nodded silently, staring at the (now closed) book on his lap. He bit his lip, as if searching for the courage to pose a question he didn’t want to hear the answer of.

“Do you think they’ll give him the death sentence?”

Father Brown didn’t answer, but his pained, bitter expression was answer enough. For a while they remained sitting side by side, both lost in their own thoughts, the boy still too young for the responsibility he was about to take, and the older priest who felt guilty for the pain he was inflicting, even though for the best of reasons. In the end, Maksym sobbed, just once, as if aware he had more important things to do than crying and didn’t want to waste any time.

“If he’s awake… and sober… will you help me talk to him?” he asked, and Father Brown nodded, resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

“Of course.”

Two days ago

It was early morning when Lucaszek Czarniecki, forty-five years old, labourer by trade, turned up at the Kembleford Police Station, accompanied by Father Brown, walking behind him silently, and by his older son, who held his hand. They all looked sombre, but while the priest seemed pensive, a quiet sort of resignation tinged the face of father and son, making the family resemblance all the more striking. 

“It’s going to be alright, tatus” Maksym promised; his father didn’t look like he believed him, but nodded in response. 

Today

The grand opening of the Sweet Serenade ice cream parlour took place three days later than expected, but the success was immediate, and undisputed; the whole population of Kembleford, children as well as adults, seemed to be present, and the two local papers had also sent reporters and photographers. (name), wearing a dress the same colour of the shop’s walls, did the honours, personally preparing cones and cups and welcoming everyone. While nervous, the young woman was clearly happy, and every compliment and congratulation she received seemed to put her a little more at ease.

“Here’s your ice cream, father.” (name) said, standing behind the counter, as she handed the priest the cone she had just prepared; many other attendees had been served already, and judging from the many satisfied and impressed faces all around, it seemed like the ice cream shop had already gained many faithful clients “And a lemon and strawberry cup for mrs McCarthy, here you go. Please, take a spoon…”

Father Brown and his parish secretary thanked her and wasted no time before tasting their ice creams, which were as delicious as they expected. “You must be very proud of yourself, (name).” the priest said, and the young woman winked in response; she was wearing an apron over her dress.

“Let’s say I think I deserve it.”

“You want to take a break? I’ll man the place.” Bunty proposed as she joined the other woman; she looked way better, and happier, than two days before, and she shared a smile (name) returned, her eyes full of affection. 

“Have you ever used an ice cream spatula?”

“No, but how hard can it be?” 

“I’ll show you another time. But I think I can take…”

(name) stopped mid-sentence; following her eyes, the others noticed a group of boys and girls, residents of the village’s Polish camp, who had just entered the shop, all wearing their Sunday best, shy but curious. Father Brown and the three women smiled.

“Maksym, you came!” (name) exclaimed, leaving the space behind the counter to meet the boy leading the group. 

“Thanks for inviting us again, miss (last name).” he answered; he was pale, and clearly upset, but there was a trace of relief on his young face, as if he had just recovered from a long illness… even though it would take him years to feel healthy again “Especially after what happened. Hello Father, mrs McCarthy, miss Windermere.

“How are things at home, Maksym?” the older woman asked kindly.

“I think well, all things considered. My father has been arrested for Tadeusz’s murder, but since he spontaneously confessed, he’ll be able to avoid the death penalty. I’ll go visit him every time I can.”

“It was very brave of you to urge him to confess.” Bunty pointed out gently “And I am very grateful you did, since otherwise I would be the one behind bars.” 

Maksym smiled faintly at her; clearly knowing he was doing the right thing had not made it easier, and he still felt guilty for convincing his father to leave the family and give himself up. 

“Well, you were innocent; and Father Brown made me realise it wouldn’t have been right to let you take the blame for something you hadn’t done. I’m so sorry for what happened; my father told me he doesn’t know you, but he found your handbag in a drawer in Tadeusz’s caravan as he searched for money and he thought that it would make the police think it had been a woman to kill him…”

“No hard feelings, darling; let’s not speak of it again.”

“I have something to say instead.” (name) intervened “Maksym, Father Brown told me he’s very satisfied with you as St Mary’s new cleaner. Do you have any other client besides him?”

“Well… no, actually.” the boy answered, clearly surprised “After all I have just started…”

“In that case, how about you come work with me as well? Here at the shop; you’d have to clean the place a couple hours per day, before and after the opening hours.”

“Are you… are you serious?”

“Of course. I could train you as well, if you want, and you’d still have time to work for other people… and go to school, of course; that comes first.”

Maksym hesitated, torn between joy and embarrassment. “You’re not only offering because my father is in jail, are you?” he asked “And because I helped your friend? I appreciate it, really, but there’s no need.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I just need someone to do the cleaning around here, and if the shop is a success, like I hope, I’ll probably need an assistant as well. And if in the meantime I can help a hard-working young man support his family, so much the better. But you should know, I’ll make you work hard… and you can eat all the ice cream you want, obviously.”

“That’s amazing!” Maksym exclaimed, beaming at her; he clearly wasn’t just talking about the free ice cream “Thank you, miss (last name), thank you so much. I promise you won’t regret it.”

(name) said she was sure of it, and she and Maksym arranged to meet on the next day; the boy then returned to his friends.

“You did a very good thing, (name).”

The young woman smiled. “As I said, Father, I can’t take care of the shop all by myself; but yes, I’m glad I can help that poor boy, especially since he may very well have saved Bunty’s life.” 

Father Brown admitted that at the moment Maksym and his family did need all the support they could get; but they would manage, and the parish would try and help as well.

“On my part, I’m simply relieved I won't have to spend another night behind bars; Mallory wasn’t particularly happy he had to let me go.” Bunty commented “And also, last night I told my parents I am in a relationship with another woman.” 

“What?!”

As everyone stared at her, Bunty explained that, since Lucaszek Czarniecki had confessed his crime, it was no longer necessary for her to provide an alibi for the night Tadeusz Chodakievicz had been killed, and consequently that there was no need for her relationship with (name) to become public. “But I decided to do it all the same, since, a very wise woman once told me, a situation like this can help you distinguish between people who actually care about you and people who don’t. Last night I… called my parents to tell them about (name), that we are together and that I don’t intend to give up on her in any case.”

Father Brown looked impressed. “And how did they react?”

Bunty’s smile dimmed. “More or less like I imagined. The way my mother cried, you would have thought I had actually killed someone; and my father told me I am the shame of the family and he doesn’t want to see me at home ever again. I think he’s seriously considering disinheriting me.”

“Considering he has no other children I doubt he’ll actually do it.” an amused voice commented from the shop’s entrance. 

“Lady Felicia!” (name), mrs McCarthy and Father Brown exclaimed almost as one, while the woman, elegantly dressed in a strawberry-pink dress with matching hat and shoes, approached; Bunty almost ran to her.

“Aunt Fliss! What are you doing here?”

“I had been planning to come back for a visit next week, but this morning your father called me, and told me about your… confession; I think he expected me to agree with him, and wanted me to try and change your mind. Obviously I made it clear I am on your side, completely and uncompromisingly, and I decided to come earlier… especially because apparently I got here just in time for an important event!” 

Felicia, who had patronised the country’s most exclusive clubs and restaurants, looked all around her, impressed. “(name), this is really amazing. You have completely transformed this place, and look at how many people came! You must be really proud of yourself. Congratulations.”

“Thank you so much, lady Felicia.” the younger woman answered, beaming at her “Can I make you a cone? What flavour would you like?”

Felicia left her the choice (“But please, no vanilla.”), and once (name) had left she circled Bunty’s shoulders with her arm. 

“Your father will change his mind; give him time.” she reassured her “I don’t think he’ll ever approve of your choice, but deep down he does love you, and I think in the end he’ll come to terms with it, at least about forbidding you from returning home.”

Bunty shrugged; not unlike Maksym, she felt mostly at peace, and a little bitter, knowing her discussion with her father simply couldn’t have gone well. “I really hope so. I’m sorry if he’s angry, and if I made mom cry, but I’ll find a way to go on, and a job to support myself. In any case, I was tired of hiding, you know? It wasn’t fair; (name) deserved better.”

“You both deserve it, darling; and I’m very happy for you both.” Felicia said, resting her hand on her niece’s shoulder. Bunty smiled; it might take years before her parents spoke to her again, but fortunately at least part of her family was on her side. 

“Thank you, aunt Fliss; you don’t know how much this means to me.”

Felicia told her niece she absolutely wanted to take her and her girlfriend out to lunch to celebrate, on the next day; Bunty said she was fine with it. “I’ll ask (name).” she promised, before waltzing to her partner, who had gone back behind the counter.

They had been apart only for ten seconds, but (name) greeted Bunty with a kiss on her cheek. “Did I hear her wrong or your aunt called me your girlfriend?” 

“She did. Why? Something wrong with it?” 

“No, it’s not that.”

(name) handed a client the cone she had just prepared, and then took Bunty’s hands in hers, perfectly aware and unconcerned that many of the attendees could see them, and gossip about it. “That was very brave of you, Bunty; I really appreciate it.” she said; and she really did, so much that now she felt guilty her partner had to confront her own father for her sake “It’s just… I hope you didn’t feel forced to…” 

“By you? Not at all.” Bunty answered confidently; the phone conversation with her father had not been pleasant, hearing her mother cry and beg her to reconsider even less, but as she looked at (name)’s grateful and happy smile, she was sure she had made the right choice, one she would never regret no matter the consequences. “In any case, I hope you’re prepared, because from now on you won’t be able to escape.”

“I think I can cope with that.”

There was no need to say more; the two women shared a smile, and then (name) showed Bunty how to use a spatula to prepare an ice cream for her aunt; as they talked, they let their hands brush against each other. Father Brown and lady Felicia, now alone, looked at the two of them for a while, before exchanging a smile of their own.

“As I thought, living here in Kembleford with you was good for Bunty, Father. Just like it was for me.

“I’m not sure the merit is mine.” the priest confessed; he smiled as he enjoyed his ice cream “But I’m glad for them as well.”

[gummybear1031]

I've actually been watching good horror movies recently. "Terminator;" "Jaws;" the original "Mummy," which is racist but not as racist as expected. All of the "Friday the 13th"s up to "Jason X."

Then, my mama told me I may have been conceived during a movie called "Chopping Mall." So I HAD to watch that. (Don't worry. I wasn't; the timing is a few months off.)

Sir, why are you shooting directly into R2DBag’s metal plating? Surely, the obviously glowing weak point of his eye is where you should be aiming.

It’s been exactly a minute-and-a-half, and this movie is obviously a great idea. 

I really wanted their designations to be ACAB, not Protector. Also, I’m glad that the CEO keeps going “They can’t kill people!” while explaining all the ways in which they could kill people. 

“They remind me of your mother. It’s the laser eyes.” is amazing. 

Dude: “Absolutely nothing can go wrong.” Title: *immediate blood red lettering* CHOPPING MALL

The old couple watching the young couple PDA’ing all over the place, turning to each other like they were going to complain, and then kissing was absolutely adorable. I’m going to be real sad if they get Killbotted. 

Did malls have independent restaurants in them? Ours only had chain stores and fast food. 

The chef is wiping the spatula on his apron, and the waitress has her ticket book in the food. I need to call the 1980s health department. 

Lightning strikes: the natural enemy of AI Killbots. 

Less than 10 minutes in the movie and the Killbots have gone rogue! This movie doesn’t play around. 

Monday? Is the mall closed on weekends? That seems unlike everything I’ve heard about them. 

For it to be lightning this much, there doesn’t seem to be any thunder and it doesn’t look like it’s raining. 

I’ve been married for seven years, and that lingerie trick would have worked on my spouse too. 

I’m assuming all these stores are actually parodies of real popular 1980s stores that I’m not familiar with. Or this is the only shopping mall in history where everything is run by locals. 

In 1986, my mama’s hair looked almost exactly like Susie’s but black from her shoulders down. I think she may have had that exact same outfit too. 

Did the Killbots clean up their murder?

Do these kids not know about the Killbots?

Does the Killbot not care about the “party?” I put it in quotations because I’m not sure it is a party. 

Wait, is the restaurant called Licorice Pizza? 

…She doesn’t allow him to go down on her? What man wrote this? 

Why is everybody so obsessed with drinking in the mall? 

Maybe don’t be aggressive with the taser bot that has sent a bolt into the puddle of water you’re standing in, Walter. 

Either Mike is really bad at sex or Leslie is really good at it. Or they’re both idiots who weren’t written to sound like real people. 

The music is so bad, but I kinda love it. It really matches the rest of the movie. 

How did the Killbot open those doors? 

I feel like the store owners would be really upset about the Killbots crashing through their front doors and shooting all their stuff. Probably more upset than they would be about the loss of life. 

Ever since Walter died, the only thing I can think of when I see the Killbots is “You are metal and triangular, like a R2, the strongest shape.” (Walter the Catt is “orange and triangular, like a 3D Dorito, the strongest shape.”)

Linda and Allison should punch Suzie in the face and then drag her along the vent. Or let her go alone. She’s going to get them all killed. 

Suzie, are you even trying? Why are you just lying there and screaming? Oh! Now that you’re on fire, you try to move! 

Allison is the only competent person in this whole movie. 

And they still give the gun back to Ferdy. 

Greg is not wrong. They should’ve kept Suzie in the air vent, even if they had to punch her in the face and drag her unconscious body. 

The reason y’all haven’t seen him is ‘cause he’s on the third level. If you go up there, he will zap you with laser bolts of head explosion. 

Y’all need to punch Greg in the face, the same way you should’ve punched Suzie. He’s going to get y’all killed. 

Nevermind. 

Are y’all forgetting the Killbots exploded the last door you barricaded? Also, you’ve seen them use the escalators; they’re going to go to the same one you are. 

Linda and Rick were smart. Until it was time to die. Then they became idiots. Bye, guys, I miss you having a brain cell. 

Now it’s Allison’s chance to be dumb. Why don’t they both have a gun? Or at least give one to the person who can shoot. 

Wait. The phones work. Mike answered one before he was killed by Killbot 1. So why didn’t they try to call for help? 

Why does this pet store only have spiders, snakes, and one barking dog? 

And one cat. Where did Kitty even come from? It looked like someone yeeted them from offscreen. 

Allison, what are you doing? When Ferdy died, did he take the brain cell with him? 

Killbot2 is going to roll out of the wreckage of the elevator any second now, I know it. Nevermind. Ferdy is the actually alive character. 

Actually pretty good, but I don’t think it lived up to the promise of the name.

[badboojuicetm]

Cheesy

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem oc

Warnings: Blood and vomit maybe?

Fluff and angst

A/N: didn't know how to end it so if you have anything that would make it better please tell me. Lmk if you want more Audrey content.

“Do you think it’s out of our system?”

“I don't know, maybe,” he asks, shifting his body to lean on the toilet bowl.

The brightly colored bath room smelled of vomit and old sweat. The fluorescent lights buzzed creating a white noise over the women's restroom.

“How about we ask some questions.” He suggested with a lopsided smile across his face.

His blue sailor looking uniform was stained with blood and traces of vomit from the previous purging. His left eye felt as if it was going to explode out of his eye, and he knew he would have a killer headache for at least a week.

“Shoot.” She replied, resting her feet on the bathroom stall that had boobs carved in it. Her black converse with yellow stars colored in on the side tapped together as she laid her head on the parallel wall.

“When's the last time you peed your pants.”

“Today.”

“Really!” Turning his head in shock.

“Yeah when the russian doctor came out with the bone saw. It was Just a little bit.” She explained, holding her index and thumb up millimeters from each other. The two started filling the room with laughter, and for the first time in the past 48 hours they felt safe. Even though they were russian fugitives.

Audrey shifted in her position again, her inside monologue arguing with itself. “Have you ever–” she paused, picking at her already chipped nail polish she had only put on a week ago,

“been in love?” She spit out cautiously, staring at the divider between the two of them. Deep down she knew she shouldn't have asked that, but she wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about him to make for the lost time and the little time they have.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He answered, “ Nancy Wheeler, first semester senior year.” Bringing his hand up and releasing it creating an exploding noise. But he was a different person now, not as artificial. He knows what he wants now.

“Oh my god, you were serious about that.” She criticizes looking down at her hands. Of course she had heard about the two of them dating, they were the it couple of Hawkins high. Audrey hated the two of them together with every being of her body. Every Time she saw the two of them making out in the hallway she tried to not throw up.

“Yep, turns out she wasn't a pris.” Steve replies, feeling his heart beat start to pick up.

Audrey's eyes lift back up to the stall wall, “ Are you still in love with her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Steve felt his chest tighten, but there was a calling to him that this is what he had to do. Why should he be scared, he wasn't lying. He would finally let everything out.

“I guess it's because I found someone better for me. I don't know, ever since dustin got home he's been talking about how I have to find my suzie-”

“Suzie? Dustin’s imaginary girlfriend?” Audery interrupts getting a sense of where this is going and trying to slow it down. She looked too far behind the curtain and now regretted it. It was a stupid idea, she always had to follow her moronic instincts.

“He says she's real, but come on, hotter than phoebe cates.” He chuckles, running his hand anxiously through his mane of hair.

“But that doesn't matter. The point is this girl that I like is somebody who I’ve hurt and been a real asshole to for too long. I mean all throughout highschool I ignored her and I don't even know why. Maybe because Tommy H would've made fun of me or I wouldn't have been prom king, some stupid shit like that.” Frowning to himself as he felt the guilt he had burrowed within himself resurface.

“Because when I think about it, the best times of my life were with this girl and I should have been hanging out with her the whole time anyways. First of all, she's absolutely hilarious I mean I have never laughed harder than I have this summer.” Steve smiles to himself as he's recalling the girl who just threw up a bunch of truth serum with him. All the stupid ramblings and dick jokes that made this summer so bearable. Creating stupid games to pass the time.

Audery can't help but smile at his flattery and confession, but she knows she shouldn't.

“And she's smart, way smarter than me. I mean she deciphered a Russian translation in a couple of hours and could tell you why the Russian alphabet is the way it is. You know ever since she came back into my life, she has treated me with kindness I don't deserve. Hell she had saved my ass several times.” She feels the anguish rise in her and crumples in on herself on the bathroom floor. This isn't how it's supposed to go, why is life so unfair.

“If could go back in time I would tell myself to never let her go”

Love is suffocating him in his corner with the toilet as he lets the feelings he has felt for too long be released. Waiting for anything he sits, his body fuzzy and his heart pounding. As minutes pass he sits to himself, his heart pounding of love turns cold and filled with anxiety. Maybe he overstepped a line, maybe she doesnt love him, hell maybe she overdosed. What if this breaks everything so delicately built back up and she never wants to see him again.

“Hepburn,” he asks, banging against the wall between them.

Audrey lifts her head out of her cocoon of shame to the noise knowing she's going to have to respond. She wishes her self made hiding spot could swallow her up. She wouldn't have to deal with the feelings or fall out from the bomb about to be dropped.

“Auds, did you just OD in there?” He asks, hoping maybe that's the answer rather than straight up rejection.

“I am still alive.” She chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. The chuckle turns into heavy breathing as she tries to control the weight on her chest.

Feeling something wrong from the other side of the border Steve feels the urge to try and help. Moving away from the corner facing the stall wall, he slides himself across the disgusting bathroom floor to come face to face with her.

“That floor's disgusting.” She scolds him.

“Yeah well I already got a bunch of blood and puke on me, whatever disease lives on the floor can't hurt.” He says trying to make eye contact with her.

Leaning his foot on the wall near her head he asks her, “What do you think?”

“About?”

“This girl.”

“She sounds like the coolest person to walk the earth.” He smiles at her comment.

“Absolutely.” He agrees, trying to get her to smile. “And what about the guy?”

“I think he's on drugs and is not thinking straight.” She tried to reason, hoping to let him down easy.

“Really, because I think this is the first time in his life he's thinking clearly.”

“If he were 12 and playing in the woods of Hayfield farm I would say so too.” She looked back down to her nails, unable to keep eye contact with him. “But he’s not, and neither is she. They grew up.”

“And if he knew her now and all she's kept from him,” she pauses for a moment, feeling her throat tighten. “I don't know if he’d even want to be her friend.”

“No way is that true.” He reassures her, resting his elbow on her knee.

“Steve, it's shocked me to my core, but no matter how many times I tried to tell myself, I missed you. But I’m not like your other friends. I'm not like Nancy Wheeler.” She looks down sniffling.

“Audrey, that's exactly why I like you.”

“What do you remember of my mom?” She asked to still look at the ground. Her eyesight was blurry and all she could see were the impending tears about to fall.

“I-I, I remember the news reports.” He tells her truthfully laying his hand on her knee. “She was sick and you and your brother suffered.”

“There's a good chance that I will turn out just like her.” She looks up to him finally. “So I did what I thought was best. By some miracle I got a full ride to some preppy school in Maine, and I’m gonna leave so I can't hurt anyone the way she hurt me.”

Steve stared at her in shock for countless reasons. Could she really believe she was that much of a monster? “When were you gonna tell me you were gonna leave.”

She stared at him with guilty eyes.

He tightened his lips into a line “You weren't.”

“Steve there is no one in this world I love more than you, that’s why I can't hurt you.” She confesses placing her hand on top of his. “And if I did-”

He grasped onto her hand his grip tightening, never letting go. “You won't.” He reassured rubbing his thumb across her blood stained hand.

Audrey looks down at their entwined hands. A shiver rips through her spine. How could such a simple act be so sensual?

“When I hurt you,” She couldn't gather the strength to face him. Not now with his chestnut eyes staring into her so deeply hurt. “I couldn't live with myself.” She sniffs, wiping her nose with her left hand sleeve.

Steve felt his heart breaking from the sound of her crying. If it was possible he gripped her hand tighter, reassuring her he wouldn't let her go. Reaching over he craddled her cheek, making her look up to him and holding her up for extra support. In the dark never ending pit swallowing her whole, there was Steve Harrington there to rescue her and bring her back to life. She truly lived when she was with him. Birds sang and the sun shone brighter at the sight of his million dollar smile.

“You could never hurt me.” He whispered, stoking her cheek finally getting a look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were even more red than before. She was beautiful no matter how beaten down she was. His head was exploding inside and he was covered head to toe in sweat, blood and vomit, but he couldn't pay a mind to it. His girl was in pain.

Audrey smiled and a giggle burst out of her mouth. She hid in the comfort of Steve's hand out of embarrassment.

“What?” He asked. Over the tense conversation Steve had started to inch closer to Audrey and now their faces were merely inches apart.

She looked back up to him with a rare smile on her face, showing off her imperfect teeth. ““You could never hurt me”.” she mocked, chuckling at the impression. “Since when did you become Brando?”

He smiled rolling his eyes, “you know this was a really deep conversation, an adult conversation dare I say.” He banters just hoping he can make her smile again.

“I'm serious though,” he starts, “You can't get rid of me that easily and you could never hurt me. No matter how cheesy that sounds.” He's done it again, he's reeled her back in to the point of no return. She couldn't back out now and why would she want to.

Slowly they come closer colliding together, their lips meeting in a kiss. Not one of lust and excitement but one so sensual and pure you figure this must be what true love feels like. It's slow and steady feeling the passion in it. Just like their first kiss out in the woods next to the water tower. After a day filled with running around and playing nonsense like 10 year olds do their fate was sealed with a quick peck as the sun set. Suddenly they felt like time was no matter and they were 10 years old again.

Audrey pulled away first, opening her eyes that had a glint of disappointment. He could never truly be hers but at this moment she knew she shouldn't care. Steve was still frozen, jarred that the kiss was over so soon.

“I'm still leaving in august.” She reminded him to pull him out of his love sick daze.

He blinked a couple of times as he turned his body to lean on the same wall as her. “Of course, why wouldn't you.” He told her with full eye contact, turning his head to the side “ I'm not mad that you're going to school you know. There's nothing less I would think of for you. I only wish it was closer to home.”

Audrey tightened her lips while laying her head on Steve’s shoulder. She should have told him sooner, hell she should have told him everything sooner. Maybe then they'd have more time. Her foot started to tap against his red pair of converse to keep herself from going crazy in such a tense environment.

“What does your brother think?” He asks, leaning his head against hers.

“I mean he doesn't like it but it's his fault for flunking.” She replies.

“Whoa, what does that make me?” Steve remarks putting a piece of hair behind her pierced ear. A smirk covers his face as he watches her expression of fear that she had offended him.

“Oh shut up,” he feels a pierce in his side as Audrey elbows him. “You're stupid but not that stupid.”

Before he had the chance to respond the door burst open in the mall bathroom. Dustin emerged with a look that triumphs all the pissed looks. His neon clothes reflect off the tile floor as the bright pink of Erica's backpack neighbors it. All the way by the water fountain where the two almost purged everything in their system was Robin.

“Okay, what the hell.”

[margotw10]

Crashing on Crush. JJK (m)

Pairing : crush!Jungkook x Female Reader

Synopsis : After seeing Jungkook hugging another woman, you try to understand what's going on and convince yourself he is not a liar.

Words : 2.5k

Warnings : explicit language; not so much in this chapter

A/n : Hi! The new chapter of this fic, things are getting tensed, pls check the previous ones :) Don't hesitate to comment. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language. Once again, Mathilde worked hard to fix my grammar mistakes <3

Ch. 1---- Ch. 2---- Ch. 3---- Ch. 4---- Ch. 5---- Ch. 6---- Ch. 7---- Ch. 8---- Ch. 9----

You enter your apartment, take off your shoes and sit on your couch without turning the lights on, too stunned by what you’d witnessed. There must be an explanation. Maybe you didn’t hear well? Or you didn’t see well? Maybe Jungkook has a sister? A cousin? It can’t be what you think it is, can it? As much as your heart hurts, you try to think straight. Jungkook didn’t lie, he didn’t use you to cheat, right? Maybe if you weren’t this shocked, you’d cry. But your eyes remain dry as you pull off your phone from your pocket. 

You open the Instagram app and search for Jungkook’s profile. If he has a sister or a cousin this close to him, he would have posted a photo of them together. You pray for having missed it the hundred of times you have checked his profile the past few months. But you go through all the pictures and no sign of this girl. A dragger is thrown to your broken heart but this can’t be. You deny the facts. 

Okay, let’s search for an explanation because there must be one. You call Suzi and she answers the first ring.

"Hi, Y/N, whats up?"

She sounds so cheerful, like a thousand miles from your mood.

"Hi, is Taehyung here?" You ask with a white voice

"Sure" Just by the way she says that, you know your best friend frowns with worry. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to ask him something"

Suzi knows you well enough to not ask questions. She knows you’ll tell her when you need. 

"Hello?" Tae’s deep voice flies to your ear through your phone

"Hi, uhm, I just wanted to know, does Jungkook have a sister? Or a cousin quite the same age?"

"No, he doesn’t, why?"

You wish you could find the courage to ask ‘does he have a girlfriend?’ but you don’t. Maybe you don’t even want to know. It’s better than to have the proof he’s been lying to you. But has he really? You never talked about that, he never told you that he was single. However, you both shared something so special after having sex. At least, you thought. What are you doing to do? You don’t even have the energy to think and you don’t even want to because the stab in your heart, in your soul is too painful. 

"Just to know, thanks"

You don’t know how you managed to speak with such a dry throat but you hang up quickly to not have to do it again. You stay, in the dark, thinking about nothing for hours. 

This only thing that keeps you from going crazy is the little sentence you repeat over and over again in your head: ‘This can’t be’. 

————

The next day, you have decided to put whatever you have seen aside. You are supposed to go to the Lotte aquarium with Jungkook. Maybe you could even ask about the girl during the day and he will tell you that you totally misunderstood the situation, laugh and then give you a rational explanation. 

You knock on Jungkook’s door at 2pm. You took the time to get ready this morning - it’s not like you’ve slept anyway. However, you couldn’t focus enough to be very sophisticated so you just put some jeans, a white t-shirt with a leather jacket on and a pair of Converses. You swipe your sweaty hands on yours jeans, waiting for Jungkook to open the door.

He does, just a few seconds later. You can say he is surprised to see you. And you are surprised too when you see him stepping outside his apartment and closing the door after him, even when he doesn’t look like going out with his black sweatpants, oversize grey t-shirt and Nike slippers. This a painful sign that the girl has probably spent the night with him and is still there. You try your best not the wince at the physical pain in your heart. 

"Hi, are you ready?" You ask, even if you know the answer but deny is still better than having your heart break, again. 

"Hi, Y/N, I’m sorry I forgot to text you. I can’t today"

"Oh, maybe we could go another day, then?"

"I don’t think so"

You can’t help but take a step back, just like if Jungkook has slapped you in the face. Because it does feel like it. Why does he sound so cold when he was so sweet just a few days ago? When he had sex with you? 

"I-I thought…" You try to speak your thoughts but they are so all over the place you don’t know what to say.

"You thought wrong" His words are as harsh as his tone. "Look, I never said I wanted something serious, sorry if I gave you this impression. It’s better if we don’t see each other again. You should go"

Just like that, without even giving you a glance, he enters his apartment. You stay in the hallway, speechless. It hurts so fucking bad. Your body, your heart, even your soul. Yesterday, you were ready to tell him that you loved him, and you’d fallen in love with him in just few days because he was so caring. Because of the way he looked at you with his sweet doe eyes. The way he has hugged you after you had sex. The same man who warmed up your heart with so much love has  just crashed it down in a million pieces. And each piece seems to have been stabbed with his words. 

You don’t even know how you went home. But the second you pass the door, your legs fail you and you cry on the floor. This is so much pain because you have never loved someone that much. And the only person who can help you from drowning completely in the darkest soreness is your best friend. You dial her number but you can’t speak, your throat hurts too much because of your sobs.

"Y/N?"

By only hearing your cries she already grabs her car keys.

"I’m coming, everything is gonna be okay"She tells you, quite a panic in her voice because you’ve never cried so much

You hope so, so much that she is right. 

————

You stay for hours in Suzi’s arms, crying. You can’t explain why you’re crying because every time you relatively calm down and try to speak a word, the pain is too unbearable and you cry again. You’re so tired by the tears shaking your body that you end up falling asleep in your best friend’s arms. 

You wake up with puffy eyes and you pray you’ll have time to make yourself look better before going to work. You already know that it’ll take all of your energy to pretend nothing happened when your heart is completely mashed up. 

You are sad - even beyond sad - but so angry at the same time. At Jungkook for lying to you and making you hope something. At Suzi and Taehyung for introducing you to him. At you for your stupid crush on him. You wish you’d never seen his picture on Instagram, you’d never clicked on his profile, you’d never talked to him, kissed him and fallen in love with him. 

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Suzi asks gently while you are struggling with your make-up. "Is this about Jungkook?"

You freeze at the name, a noticeable pain striking your heart and you wish you didn’t feel the pain physically. 

"Yes, it’s about him" You try to focus on the mirror but you feel your eyes filling with water, again. "He-He said he doesn’t want to see me anymore"

"What?!"

You look at Suzi in the mirror, she looks angry and… so fucking surprised. You lift a brow in a silence question.

"This guy is so fucking crazy, I don’t understand him" She finally says after recovering her voice. 

"Tell me about it" You sigh

"No, Y/N, you don’t understand. I heard him talking on the phone with Tae. He said he liked you, he wanted to spend time with you… I mean, it doesn’t make sense saying that to his best friend and treating you like that"

You wish her words didn’t soften your heart because you shouldn’t feel anything about Jungkook, even if it’s about him liking you. Or pretendedly liking you.  

"Well, maybe it’s because Tae is your boyfriend and you are my best friend so he said that to not be an ass"

"But he is an ass"

Suzi gets closer to you and hugs you tightly. You close your eyes, appreciating how her love wraps around you just like her fragile arms.

"I’m so sorry, Y/N. You don’t deserve that. You are such a great person. I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you, too Susu"

She kisses your cheeks and wipes a tear from your eye. 

You are working more than usual, no taking any break and starting a new task as soon as you finish one. You have to keep yourself busy. It’s the only way you’ll not cry in front of everyone. That doesn’t mean that your colleagues don’t notice you look like shit but they are kind enough not to say anything. 

You have decided you won't love ever again because it’s way too painful. It’s okay, you’ll have a cat and you are sure Suzi or Jongseob will be kind enough to let you stay at their place when they’ll be married with kids. You don’t need to be loved, you just need to don't suffer like that ever again because you know you won’t survive. You already know the name of the cat: Bam. 

"Hi Y/N"

You startle at Namjoon’s voice. You were so in your work that you didn’t notice him coming at you. 

"Hi" Your voice is less strong and cheerful that you hoped

"I was thinking of eating out tonight, do you want to join?" Namjoon kindly asks you.

Honestly, he has noticed how sad you were today and it did make his heart ache. Deep down, he suspects something about the guy who has eaten with you two the other day but he can’t be sure and he doesn’t want to push you. He is just wishing to cheer you up because yes, Namjoon is a great guy. The kind that won’t hug another woman and tell her he loves her the next day after having sex with you. 

In your head, an internal struggle takes place. Do you want to have dinner with Namjoon tonight? On the one hand, you know you won’t be good company because you are not in a good mood to say the least. Are you selfish enough to accept when you know you will probably deprive him from a good evening after a long day of work? On the other hand, spending time with Namjoon means keeping your mind occupy and keeping your heart - relatively - sound for a few hours before going home and cry out, once again, all the tears from your body. 

You decide to give him the choice because it’s only fair to him.

"Are you sure? I won’t be the funniest friend for the night" You try to joke but fail miserably when your laugh turns out to be more a weird snort

"I’m sure, I’ll be funny for two"

You don’t know what kind of magic holds Namjoon but he manages to draw a weak smile on your face. Once again, you wonder why you didn’t fall in love with him rather than with Jungkook. You wouldn’t be heartbroken. 

————

When you knocked on his door yesterday, Jungkook was surprised to see you. He completely forgot he was supposed to see you. Well, all his life has been shaken upside down when she came back. 

When he moved to Seoul five years ago, he wanted to leave his old life behind. His old demons too. He wanted to be a better man and maybe, just maybe, be happy, just once. Honestly, he thought he could be with you. When Tae just told him about you, he was skeptical: it wasn’t the first time his best friend tried to introduce him a woman. But you were different. You are different. He is not going to lie, your first encounter was quite something! He can’t deny that when he first saw you - or your ass to be more precise - he found you so hot. But then, when he saw you shy around him, he felt flatted that such a great woman was interested in him. He’d never thought in a billion years that someone this beautiful, funny, smart and kind could want him. But you did. 

When he fucked you on his dinner table, it wasn’t just sex for him. When you hugged him after you both had reached your highs, he felt loved. He almost cried of how good it felt. So he thought that, maybe if he were lucky enough, one day you could love him like he was starting to love you. He might not have starting things right with you by fucking you on his table but he was willing to rectify it by going on a date and official asking you to be his girlfriend. His first real girlfriend. He was so stressed you would say no but you were worth at least trying. 

But then, she came back. 

Jungkook just wanted to see Tae and ask for advice for your date. She was waiting outside his building. He was so fucking surprised to see her. He hadn’t see her in years. The last time was in Busan, before he moved to Seoul to start his new life. She asked for his help. What was he supposed to do? She was his best friend. At least, she used to be. He had left her once, he couldn’t do it again. Maybe it was fate: just a reminder that he wasn’t good enough for you and that he’ll never be. You didn’t know him, you didn’t know what he had done. It was better to stop everything now before you break his heart when he’d tell you about his past because there was no way you’d want him if you knew. 

It was so hard and so painful to talk to you like that. To lie by saying he didn’t want to see you again and that you misunderstood the signs because you were fucking right. He wanted to be with you. The pain in your eyes was unbearable, he almost told you that it was all a lie and hugged you tight to ease the pain he caused you. That’s why he didn’t look at you. If he had, he knew he would have given up all his good resolutions and it was too selfish. He hold on on the idea that you couldn’t love him yet, it was too soon, and that you would find someone better than him. Perhaps, this Namjoon guy who works with you. His heart and fists clenched at the thought you’d be in someone else’s arms, that someone else’s would make love to you. He wished so much it could be him. Maybe in another life. A life he could be a good man from the start so he could be with you. 

[scottnandrew]

TQ Live! 2023

Sat., Aug. 26, 7 p.m. at the CMoA Sculpture Garden

TQ Live! presents a queer evening of dazzling performance, dance, poetry, comedy, resplendent fantasies, music, and more. This ninth installment of the annual performance series features artists and performers from the many LGBTQIA+ communities in the Pittsburgh region. Hosted by Joseph Hall, this year’s lineup includes performances by Arewá Basit (NYC), lys scott, Jiggy Draco, Simon Phillips x AJ Libert, Agni Paradise, Dynasty, and Jasmine Hearn x Bekezela Mguni, along with visuals by FAGNELLY, and a dance party featuring HUNY XO.

TQ Live! 2023 is produced by Scott Andrew, Joseph Hall, Suzie Silver, and sarah huny young, and is co-presented by Carnegie Museum of Art.

More Info Here: https://carnegieart.org/event/tq-live-2023/

[pariahsparadise]

starstruck | s. h.

nav. | m.list

requested: nah, i've just been daydreaming about this the whole week so

wc: 0.9k

pairings: steve harrington x gn!henderson!reader

warnings: unedited work, not proofread, swearing, kissing

a/n: this was better in my head. also, i'm literally so in love with steve harrington that it's not even funny. anyways, board exams soon so this is probably the last you'll see of me for a while. OH ALSO, i've literally never learnt astrology before so my information is probably wrong, i got it off wikipedia. so yeah, don't be too picky about that lol

Steve has no idea how he ended up in this position: stargazing at Lover’s Lake, taking in the beautiful sights of the sky while desperately trying (and failing) to keep his eyes off the real beauty next to him, you.

Your brother naps somewhere to the right of you both, his huffs gentle and features relaxed. You had joked that he was only ever tolerable when he was unconscious, and Steve’s immediate agreement had both of you muffling chuckles into your hands, not wanting to wake Dustin up. Although, this had been all his idea.

Dustin had been the one to drag the two of you out here, talking your ears off about this new telescope Suzie had been designing. He had enlisted Steve’s help early on, so you saw Harrington more around the house than usual, something you didn’t know was possible. The two had holed up in his room for weeks on end, trying time and time again to build a functional model, before finally achieving a working, albeit kind of collapsing, telescope. Dustin insisted they try it out that very night- smart, considering it was held precariously in place by various pieces of tape- and invited you along.

Which brings us back to Steve’s current predicament: you. You look unfairly gorgeous right now, he decides, bathed in the light from constellations he couldn’t name. You’re lying on your back on one of the soft blankets you had the foresight to grab on your way out of the house, him next to you. He can feel the heat of your shoulder as it presses into his, feel the softness of your thigh when you shift to get more comfortable, the blanket little protection from the rocky ground underneath you.

“Look!” you exclaim suddenly, and Steve’s eyes jump, following the point of your finger to the sky, squinting at the little lights shining in the distance. 

Taking a glance at Steve’s furrowed eyebrows, you explain further, “It’s the Big Dipper. You know, the asterism in Ursa Major?” 

“Oh yeah, totally,” Steve bluffs, wishing he was even half as smart as you or Dustin are. You mistake his cluelessness as disinterest, biting your lip in nervous regret as you say, “Not a big astrology fan?”

“I guess? I never really understood the point of it, or how to tell which constellation was which. I, uh, actually don’t know any.” Steve offers a little quickly, having noted your slightly crushed expression and wanting to be rid of it as soon as possible.

“Really?” you ask him, raising an eyebrow, eyes darting over his face.

“Yeah. Why’s that so surprising?” Steve asks, cheeks heating as your eyes travel the bridge of his nose.

“Because you’ve got so many right here,” you say, your hand coming up to cup Steve’s face delicately, a soft thumb brushing over his cheekbones.

Steve stops breathing.

You don’t notice his still body, opting to continue. Gently, you dot five freckles on his left cheek, before tracing them in a figure. “That’s Aries,” you whisper to him. You gently poke his nose as you shift your hand to the right side of his face. Steve can’t even count the amount of moles you touch before you’re stringing them together, linking them with the warm trail your finger brands on his skin. “Perseus,” you say simply, unphased, while Steve’s heart practically beats out of his chest at the attention and proximity. 

“Oh! And my favourite,” you say, hand cradling his jaw as you crane it up slightly. You tap three freckles in a sequence before tracing them together, “Orion’s belt.”

“I like how it’s hidden away here,” you say quietly when Steve doesn’t move to speak (he literally can’t though, his throat almost hurts with the words warring against each other.) “You kind of have to look a little harder for that one.”

“You’ve really been studying me, huh?” is all Steve can come up with after a few seconds of tense silence.

You grin at him, “You could say that. You have more on your back, by the way. It’s really cool.”

Steve wonders if knocking the air out of his lungs comes naturally to you, considering how easily you always manage it. The thought of you going out of your way to look at him, to really see him, to see beauty, constellations, where others saw only imperfections and blemishes causes emotion to lodge in his throat. “No one’s ever said anything like that to me before,” He admits to you weakly, “I always thought they were ugly.”

You sit up, indignant, aghast. Steve follows your motion with surprise, sitting up next to you, but still wishing you were closer.

“How can you say that?” you choke out the words, your hands going to Steve’s cheeks to once again smooth over the beautiful markings on his face.

“Steve Harrington,” you say quietly. He finds your eyes, the grave seriousness in them strikingly beautiful to him.

The crickets have stopped chirping, and Dustin no longer snores. Or maybe Steve’s just so focussed on you that he’s blocking all other noises out. Either way, when you next speak, it’s all he hears.

“Your face is made of the stars, Steve,” you tell him honestly, “You contain multitudes of beauty.”

Once again, Steve wholly regrets not being as intelligent as you, as poetic. But when his lips touch yours, unable to hold back any longer, when his hands slide around your waist, fitting into the grooves there that may as well have been built for him, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters except for you and the stars, the ones you make him see.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Lost in the Lapse Again

Pairing: Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x dark!fem Reader

Words: ~3.5k

Summary: Mr. Freezy’s domestic bliss gets jarringly interrupted

Warnings: DARK, explicit language, explicit sexual content (f receiving oral sex, over the pants foot job, unprotected vaginal sex), non con aspects, alcohol consumption, mentions of violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: ::Just a lot of evil giggling:: I’m not sorry.

Robert growled into his beer as he listened to his bitch wife chatter away in the kitchen, his dumbass kid playing with some stupid truck on the floor in front of him.

All his wife had been talking about for the past week was her new friend Suzy. Suzy was so funny and smart and it was so sad that she couldn’t find a man. He’d finally broken down and let her invite the bitch over for dinner, just to shut her up so he wouldn’t blow her brains out.

“I’m so excited for you to meet her, sweetie.” His wife cooed as she set the bread and cheese on the table. “I still wish you could’ve invited one of your coworkers to set her up with.”

“Really don’t think she’d be interested in any of them.” He said with an eye roll, smirking at the idea of introducing his wife’s sweet little friend to one of the gangsters he spent his days with.

He chugged the rest of his beer and moved to grab another from the fridge when there was a sudden knock on the door. His wife let out a small sound of excitement as she headed to answer it, removing her apron and putting it over the back of one of the chairs.

“Suzy, I’m so happy to see you! Lemme take your coat.” He wife said happily when she opened the door, Robert grunting as he searched for his bottle opener.

“Mary! Thank you so much for inviting me! I hope red is ok?” Robert cocked his head to the side as he continued his search. That voice sounded familiar.

“Red is perfect! Thank you dear! This is my son Billy.”

“Nice to meet you Billy, that’s a pretty cool fire truck you’ve got there!”

Robert set down his bottle with a crash as he growled under his breath and stormed into the living room.

“And here’s my husband Robert! This is Suzy, sweetheart.”

You grinned as you turned to face him, shifting your weight and offering him your hand as he stared at you murderously.

“So nice to meet you Robert.” You purred, fighting a smirk as he did his best to school the expression of rage that was taking over his face.

“Mmhm.” He grunted, taking your hand and squeezing it a little tighter than necessary as he shook it in greeting. “Nice to meet you too.”

“Dinner is almost done, why don’t you two chat while I finish up?” Mary said as she moved back into the kitchen.

“Sure, I’d love to wash up though. Could you show me to the bathroom, Robert?” You said, giving Pronge an innocent look that made him snarl.

He just grumbled and wrapped his hand around your upper arm as he dragged you out of the living room and down the hall. You beamed at him as he shoved you into the bathroom, laughing as he followed after you and slammed the door behind him.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Y/N?” He hissed, backing you against the sink as he clenched his fists to keep from strangling you.

“Aww, you’re not happy to see me, baby?” You teased, propping your ass on the sink and running your foot up the inside of his leg. “I was just keeping an eye on you when I ran into that sweet little wife of yours. What a peach she is!”

“Keeping an eye on me?” He growled as he fought the urge to shove his hands under your skirt. “Who told you to do that?”

“It’s just my own little side project.” You purred, spreading your legs wide and running your knees up the side of his body as you locked your ankles together behind his back. “Hadn’t seen you in so long, I was starting to get a little worried.”

He looked down and groaned. Your skirt had slid up your thighs until it was pooled around your waist, giving him a perfect view of your glistening pussy because of course you weren’t wearing panties.

“We haven’t needed each other for any jobs, you bitch.” He seethed, trying to ignore you as you ran your fingers over your slick coated folds, biting your lip as you started to circle your clit. “You can’t just walk in here and fuck up my life.”

“Oh please.” You said with an eye roll, sliding one finger inside yourself and moaning softly. “You trying to tell me that precious little thing out there is taking care of all your needs? I bet she cries any time you even bring up a position other than missionary.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He growled, wrapping his hand around your throat as you grinned at him, choking on a whine as you shoved another finger into your aching pussy.

“Mmm, don’t squeeze too hard, Bobby.” You wheezed, grinding your palm against your clit as he bent to run his teeth over your jaw. “I know you love marking me up, but what would that pretty little wife of yours think?”

“I said shut up.” He snarled, gripping your wrist with his free hand and drawing your hand up to his face, inspecting your slick coated fingers closely before wrapping his lips around them and sucking them clean with a groan. “Fuck.”

He smashed his lips to yours in a desperate kiss, his teeth tugging against them incessantly before he released your throat and knelt between your legs. You bit your lip to stifle a cry as he sank his teeth into your thigh before mouthing hungrily at your sex. His tongue slipped between your folds and swirled over your clit.

His fingers pressed into your thighs with a bruising grip as you wound your hand in his hair and pressed him into you further. You turned the water on behind you to cover your whimpers as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked hard.

“Dinner’s ready!” Mary called at the same time you came with a moan, your release flowing over his mouth and chin and soaking his goatee as your thighs tried to suffocate him.

“Don’t fucking say a word.” He seethed at you as he turned you around and pulled your skirt down to cover the marks he’d left on your thighs before leaning past you to splash some water on his face.

You just smirked as you felt his cock pressing against your ass, washing your hands under the water and humming contentedly to yourself.

He wrenched the door open and stormed out to the dining room, shooting you a warning glance as you followed after him.

“This looks so good, Mary. I’m such a horrible cook I can’t even imagine how much work this was.” You said, beaming at his stupid wife as you sank into your seat.

“Oh please, it was nothing!” She said waving you off as she moved to pour the wine. “I’m so glad to have someone else to cook for, Robert here has gotten so stoic about my food.”

She slapped his arm playfully as he let out a noncommittal grunt, avoiding making eye contact with you as he sank into his seat at the head of the table, right next to yours.

You took a sip of wine and leaned back in your seat, crossing your legs and grabbing a slice of bread.

He gripped his beer bottle tightly as he felt your foot running up the inside of his calf. You just grinned when he shot you a look, stilling your movement as Mary put a serving of lamb on your plate.

“So what is it you do for work, Robert?” You asked with a smirk as you took a bite of food, humming at the taste and giving Mary a look of approval as you tucked in.

“Oh, Robert owns and operates his own ice cream truck business!” Mary said with a proud smile, completely oblivious as you turned your body to press your foot into her husband’s crotch.

“Wow, that is impressive.” You murmured, trying not to look too satisfied as you felt him squirm underneath you. “I can’t believe a little ice cream business is enough to pay for this beautiful house.”

“Well, he works very hard to provide for me and little Billy.” She said as she beamed at you, still unaware of the fact you were about to make her husband come in his slacks.

“Yeah? You must be so proud of your daddy Billy.” You said with a smirk as you felt warmth bloom underneath the sole of your foot and slipped it back into your pump.

The stupid kid just shrugged and shoved his food around his plate, and you did your best to keep from rolling your eyes at the child. You fucking hated kids.

You made idle chitchat with Mary for the rest of the meal, lying to her about every aspect of your life as Robert glared at you and you pointedly ignored him. Mary started to clear the table when you were all finished, humming a little song to herself as she took away your plates.

Robert was still staring daggers at you as he untucked his shirt, hoping it would cover the evidence of his orgasm as he stood up to follow you to the bar.

“You need to fucking leave.” He seethed at you, pouring himself a scotch and downing it in one gulp.

“Oh, Robert.” You huffed sarcastically as you poured yourself a gin. “You are a terrible host.”

“Get out of here or I swear to god...”

“What, you gonna kill me in front of your little family?” You whispered, grinning at Mary as she flitted back into the room, already looking a little tipsy from the four glasses of wine she drank as you handed her a brandy.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Suzy.” She slurred, leaning against the bar and giving you a sloppy grin. “We should do this more often. Maybe next time I’ll invite my cousin George. He’s such a great guy.”

Robert snorted into his scotch at the image of that simpleton trying to make a move on you. You would eat him alive.

“That sounds so nice.” You said, taking a sip of gin and grinning at her. “I did have a wonderful time.”

“Yeah, we all did, Suzy was just telling me she had to go though.” Robert grumbled, giving you a meaningful look.

“True, I have an early day tomorrow.” You hummed as you downed the rest of your drink. “Should really get back to my place.”

“Oh, shoot! Well, Robert be a gentleman and walk her out to her car.” She ordered, taking his glass and shoving him to follow after you. “Wait, I’ll come too!”

You chewed on your lip as Robert trailed after you, grabbing your coat and slinging it over your shoulders as the woman babbled like a fool. She wrapped her arm around his waist as she wobbled on drunk legs and you shot him a wink as he tried to keep her from falling.

You climbed into the drivers seat and stuck the key in the ignition, frowning when the engine just clicked.

“Oh, no is there a problem?” Mary asked, looking a little giddy at the idea. “Do you have to stay? Robert, check under the hood for her and see if you can fix it.”

He rolled his eyes as he moved to check your engine, clenching his jaw and wrenching the hood up with a grunt. He frowned when he got a look at the engine. Your distributor rotor was missing, and there was not way that was an accident.

“I would call a tow truck but I think they’re all closed.” You said innocently, but he didn’t miss the mischievous gleam in your eye.

“Nonsense, you’ll spend the night here and we’ll call in the morning.” Mary said as Robert slammed the hood closed and fought the urge to scream at you.

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you.” You purred as you slid out of your car and followed her back into the house, ignoring the look Robert was giving you.

“Don’t be silly.” She said as she staggered over the threshold. “I’ll make up the guest room for you. Sweetie, can you get Billy ready for bed?”

He just grumbled to himself as he ushered his moron son towards his room, barely paying attention as he instructed him to start brushing his teeth.

Having you in his house was like torture. He wasn’t going to try to deny that he hadn’t been thinking about you since your last job, that’s all he’d been thinking about. But this was his life, sure he hated it, but it was a good cover. And all he could think about right now was storming into the guest room and fucking you until you were screaming, who cares if his wife or kid heard. That frigid bitch hadn’t even put out in months and his cock needed some sort of release.

He shut off the light and sighed once the stupid kid was in bed, shutting the door and moving to his own bedroom.

“Isn’t Suzy so great?” Mary said as she slipped into the dumbest looking nightgown he’d ever seen. “I can’t believe she’s still single.”

“Right.” He muttered, slipping out of his clothes and moving towards the bathroom to wash up.

He listened to her idiotic chatter as he got ready for bed, his pajama bottoms slung low on his hips when he finally made his way back to the bedroom. Mary was passed out on the bed as he shut off the light and climbed in beside her.

You were still occupying his thoughts as he tried to fall asleep, his cock hardening as he thought about leaving pretty bruises on your skin while he split you open. He flipped onto his stomach and pressed his dick into the bed as he tried his best to drift off, grinding his hips into the mattress to try to relieve some of the tension.

He turned his head to look at the stupid cunt passed out beside him. His hand snaked under her gown as she snored lightly, sliding up her thigh as he tried to think of some way he could relieve the ache in his groin. She gave a small noise as his hand found its way to the apex of her thighs and he grunted as he found her fucking bone dry, per usual. There was no way he was falling asleep, so he got out of the bed with a moan and headed to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

The moonlight was coming through the shades as he walked in, and he grumbled when he found you leaning against the counter smoking a cigarette, bathed in silvery light. You grinned at him as you held out the cigarette, the sleeve of your robe slipping down your shoulder enough to let him know you weren’t wearing anything underneath it.

“That stupid cunt pass out yet?” You asked as he took a drag, not bothering to pull your robe back into place as his gaze raked over you. “She do anything to help you out baby?”

He snarled at you and tossed the butt into the sink before stepping into you and ripping the robe off as he fought the urge to sink his teeth into your neck.

“You fucking bitch.” He hissed as his fingers dug into your breasts painfully, making you arch into his grip with a gasp. “Who gave you the right to come in here and talk to my wife, my kid?”

You whined as he bent to bury his face in your tits, his teeth skimming over the slopes of your breast as you felt arousal seep down the insides of your thighs.

“You fucking love it, Pronge.” You muttered as you wrapped your legs around his hips and buried your hands in his hair as he bit and sucked his way up to your throat. “You need me. That dumb little wife of yours can’t do anything for you. I bet she’s never even sucked that big cock of yours.” You brought a hand down to palm the bulge in his pajamas as you grinned before tugging his bottoms down and wrapping your hand around his dick. “That stupid cunt even notice when you come home with my marks all over you, or does she only let you fuck her with your clothes on like a good little catholic boy?”

He grabbed a dish towel and folded it lengthwise before wrapping it around your throat and turning you around with a growl. You moaned as he shoved his cock inside you, sheathing himself to the hilt as he tightened the towel around your neck.

He wrenched you up against his chest as he started to fuck you, turning your face with his grip on the towel so he could run his tongue over your cheek in a heavy stripe as you mewled.

“You goddamn bitch.” He snarled into your hair as his hips slapped against your ass, his grip on the towel growing tighter as you fought the urge to pass out. “I oughta blow your brains out the back of that pretty skull of yours. I’d do it if I didn’t think it’d start a fucking war.”

You just laughed in a thin wheeze as he pounded into you, your pussy fluttering around him as he restricted your air flow.

“Sure you would.” You said hoarsely as you thrust yourself back on his cock, meeting each of his thrusts desperately. “You’d miss this pussy after a week. You’ve never had a fuck as good as me, Pronge.”

He bit down on your ear lobe and brought a hand around to pinch your clit as you came apart. You reached over your shoulder to grip his hair as your chest heaved and your pussy clamped down on him, your release leaking out around his cock as you swallowed a scream.

You whined as he pulled out of you before throwing you to the floor and pouncing on you, drawing your knees up to your waist as he speared into you and you bit back a cry.

“You keep that fucking whore mouth shut.” He seethed as he ground against you, his cock already starting to twitch inside you.

He clapped his hand over your mouth as he thrust into you, grinding against you with each push of his hips as you tried to arch your back into him. You whined under his hand as he brushed his lips over your collarbone before bringing his face up to meet your eyes.

“God, you cunt.” He moaned as he felt you clamp down on him. “You goddamn slut.”

He ripped his palm from your mouth and crashed his lips to yours, swallowing your shriek as your orgasm crashed over you, your fingers raking over his back and leaving deep scratches as you squirted your release all over his kitchen floor. You grinned as he groaned into your mouth and filled you with his cum, his hips stuttering as he fucked his spend into you until it was leaking out around his cock.

You hummed contentedly as he rolled off of you, squeezing your thighs together as he stood up with a hiss and scowled at you over his shoulder.

“You look so good with my marks on your back, Bobby.” You purred, standing up and stretching. “You go ahead and crawl back into bead with that dead fish of a wife, I bet she won’t even notice.”

“You need to quit talking about my wife, kitten.” He grumbled as he pulled his pajamas back on. “And quit calling me that.”

You pulled your robe back on and slid next to him as he pulled a cigarette out of the drawer and lit it.

“I think you like it.” You murmured, taking the cigarette when he offered it and taking a long drag.

The phone rang suddenly and he moved quickly to answer it as you took another pull, opening the window above the sink and blowing the smoke out into the cold night air.

“Pronge.” He said as he lifted the receiver to his ear, taking the cigarette back from you as he listened to whoever was on the line. “Yeah? How much?”

He grabbed a pen and paper and started writing information down as you watched him, finishing off the butt and tossing it outside as you hopped up on the counter.

“She’s not at her place?” He said as he grinned at you. “Something tells me she’ll get the information.” He hung up the receiver and set down his notepad. “We’ve got a job.”

——————————————————————————

Tags!!! (If your name is scored it won’t let me tag you, so check your privacy settings so you can keep up with the good shit!!”

@drabblewithfrannybarnes

@stargazingfangirl18

@starlightcrystalline

@jack-skellingtons-stuff

@chrissquares

@msmarvelwrites

@gotnofucks

@sweeterthanthis

@ozarkthedog

@sultrygoblin

@angrybirdcr

@unsaltedalmonds

@amerikakapitanyy

@lizette50

@patzammit

@dwights-new-plague

@tenaciousperfectionunknown

@daughterofthenight117

@obsessivereaderchick

@before-we-get-started

@missmintyross

@mariaenchanted

@Marvel-baby

@iwanttobekilledtwice

@banditmarkymark

@wayward-blonde

@travistheaussie

@thiskindahotkindamusic

@stan-all-the-things

@roleplaytaboo

@jnkyrds

@oops-aquarius

@riemasonline

@superoopuniverse

@ethereal-beaut-y

@Lex-Is-Up-All-Night-To-Get-Bucky

@ambthegamer

@tapouttt34

@hobbitingryffindor

@whxre4cevans

@harrysthiccthighss

@WanderingAlice00

@isysen

@muzzyandbusy

@sizzie9

@slytheriin2002

@badbleep88

@wanderinglunarnights

@wandering-spiritash

@Cavilsgirltaurus

@bval-1

@chris-butt

@slothspaghettiwrites

@captain-asguard

@bonkywobble

@macgruberrr

@chrisevanscardigan

@chubbybuckydumpling

@dacreswhoree

@quxxnxfhxll

@slytherinandoutasgard

@blackestpinkworld

@egcdeath

[buzzcutdrew]

Life perspective

Suzie Howard always told her daughters that there are two types of people they shouldn't ever fall in love with: who do drugs and who deal drugs because, in a way or another, they'll screw you over.

Lexi Howard & Ashtray, Lexi Howard x Fezco, +7k.

Warnings: blood, aftermath of violence.

Note: Still shorter than my usual works, it meant to be longer, but because I know myself and my bad habis of not finishing fics, I've decide to post this part. Just to be sure that I could share my love for them with whoevere will read it: especially today and for the next couple of days, if what we know might happen is gonna turn to be true. I've decide that I'll ignore the canon universe, if its gonna really happen. Hope you like. Maybe, there will be a part II.

Masterlist.

Ao3.

Suzie Howard always told her daughters that there are two types of people they shouldn't ever fall in love with: who do drugs and who deal drugs because, in a way or another, they'll screw you over.

Both Cassie and Lexi knew she was talking pushed by nothing but experience, which didn't really stop the younger to ignore literally the only advice her mother ever gave her to navigate life and, if possible, she made it worse when she let feelings grow for more than one wrong person. Lexi considered that, even though she was the one getting involved with two local drug dealers in town, her sister's choices in boyfriend were always worse.

Fake golden boys looking for everything but not the serious relationship that Cassie always wanted so badly, or manipulative assholes that used her before skipping to the next poor girl romanticizing a toxic relationship. When Lexi looks at Cassie, she just pushes her mom's advice more: she might be the one that didn't follow the woman's advice, but her sister should be the one Suzie should be worried about. 

It's been years since their mother threw that advice at them, like a weapon that should have scared them enough to keep them away from the illicit life and the wrong crowds: but what Suzie didn't know was that the damage was already done (or she knew and wanted to fix this anyway) just because Fezco O'Neil, sitting on the Howard's living room, was nice to Lexi and his little brother, Ashtray, wasn't diffident around her. Suzie's younger daughter was someone that gave importance to the right values at an early age already, just to find herself tangled into others risky family dynamics growing up. 

Now, her mom always gives her the look -the disapproval one, the I told you so- and Lexi always thinks her heart is in the right place, with the right crowd. Sometimes, it's just difficult to stay above the surface, but they are working on it. 

  -

  The night is humid and Lexi should really get inside, cover herself over that cold fancy striped pajamas she's wearing to sit on the gelid cement stairs of the O'Neil boys front door, but she doesn't. Instead, she ignores the painful air crawling from her ankles and up her whole body and keeps her head between her shaking hands. 

She has been walking back and forth in front of the house, checking her phone almost maniacally and ignoring every unrequited text or call, but at some point she decided it was time for her to recollect herself and look for some self discipline. She's usually good at it, being a control freak, but now she doesn't have that -control- and having no clue about what happened and what she's gonna face is slowly killing her. Like a knife that has slowly been turned and turned in her flashes since Suzie Howard, lying on the couch near her younger daughter, picked up the call. 

Lexi biked there from home and, at the moment, her bike is forgotten somewhere near the back entrance of the house that she unlocked with her spare key and where she paced back and forth for a couple of moments, waiting, before leading outside. She's nervous, she's a bomb ready to explode any moment and she has been playing with her fingers and nails for the whole time and, a couple of times, out in the street, she asked herself am I breathing? because it felt like she wasn't. It was a legit question. 

When a familiar car finally appears on the end of the street, Lexi is still looking in the direction of her feet, head between her hands and eyes actually unfocused, but she hears the sound of the motor getting closer and she only knows that she is standing, before her mind can really process it. Before she can actually metabolize that is Fezco's car and picture him behind the steering wheel. She's next the vehicle in the blink of an eye, pijama on and the first pair of sneaker she found by the door of her home over some yellow socks: Lexi steps falter, though, when Fezco's open the door and his face looks like someone has been using him to practice boxing, an eyes is covered in blood, but it's cleary dripping from his eyebrow. The rest of his face is a paint of red and brown that Lexi isn't sure she will be able to look at for a moment longer. Before she can ask what happened, though, Fezco rushes past. 

"Ash" it's all he mutters seriously and, if Lexi hands were trembling before, her legs almost make her stumble to the ground, when her eyes follow the older boy walking to the passenger seat and her stare finally lands on the person on it. On the figure on it. It's barely recognizable, sitting still and unmoving on Fez's old car that has seen bad things, but this surely one of the worst. Like Lexi's, whose eyes have landed on terrible things during the years, growing up, but nothing has ever left her breathless like the sight of Ashtray unnaturally quiet, dirt of blood and eyes that fight to stay open, when they would just close and have some rest. Her mind spaces out, for a moment, from everything: her eyes glued to the little boy can't help her mind to elaborate nothing except a phrase that keeps repeating in loop, more violent than the knife in the stomach that she felt when she realized that Fezco was calling her mom in the middle of the night. 

Fezco never called Suzie Howard that late and Lexi knew, back then, that it must have been bad: she just now is realizing how bad, tears rolling down her cheeks and he's just a kid replay in her head like suddenly Ash should laugh at her and tell is all a bad joke. But it's not, when Fezco opens the car door and gently grabs his little brother, whose chest rises with weird movements, like even breathing causes him pain. Lexi runs to help Fezco, when she faces now the boys wrapped around each other with an unstable grip and the gravity of the situation hits her. 

Tears are running down, when she helps Fezco by steadying Ashtray's warm body on a side and the kid flinches, painting his face in pure pain.

"What happened" Lexi asks with an exhale, it trembles and it's not for the freezy air of the night. Her eyes slip from Ash's devastated face, where she can't even understand where the blood is coming from, to Fezco's. Back and forth hoping for an answer that doesn't arrive: the older keeps his mouth shut, gently pulling his brother towards the house, while the younger lets his eyes close for a second, forcing Lexi to grab his chin and calling back to reality. "Ash. Ash. Eyes open, okay?" 

"I'm fine" he mutters to her, but it's barely audible and weak and Lexi's heart misses a beat, even though she doesn't let her steps falter, as she keeps up with Fezco's urgent ones and they both carry Ashtray inside.

"Come on, bro" Fez mutters once the warmer air hits them, as the front door shuts close at the three figures' backs and the younger of the lot makes everything in his power to not let anything out, not a sound of the pain going through his whole body. Lexi would like to tell him that it doesn't matter, that he can complain about it, but she knows Ashtray, she has been knowing him since he was a kid in diapers running behind Fezco like a shadow, so now Lexi doesn't say a word about his proud behavior. "The bathroom"

They slip down the hallway and into the bigger bathroom at the end of it, the room placed between Fezco and grandma's rooms and when Ashtray's head starts swinging around, Lexi gives him one and then two pats on his cheeks to call him back to reality. 

"Ash" Fez mutters, eyeing his brother while holding him on his side, panic filling his whole destroyed face. The blood can't cover the concerned expression between his eyebrows and on his trembling lip. "Wake up, man" 

"Hey, Ash. Told you, keep your eyes open, didn't I?" Lexi spats when Fezco doesn't receive an answer, anger getting over her, so the nails of her free hand grabs the younger boy's face and shakes it. Unsuccessfully, she gives him another pat, as the bathroom door gets closer and Fezco pushes it open with his shoulder. "Come on" 

The moments that come are a blur, really, but there's an instant -that later Lexi would describe as pure panic- in which she can't stop her mind from asking herself is he gonna wake up? when Fezco and her force the younger inside the bath and Ashtray O'Neil sits there, head back against the cold tiles, eyes closed and face almost unrecognizable. If Lexi wouldn't have known him so well from years, after they grew up together, met when they were just too young to be able to understand that the world is a shitty place to live in and have spent majority of their lives looking out for each other, she probably wouldn't be sure to recognize him as Ash. Bad temper Ash. Trust issues Ash. Ash that smiles genuinely to a number of people that ends pretty much with the two figures kneeling inside that old bathroom with him, faces worn out by concern and hearts beating out of any normal rhythm: they look at the kid like, if he's gonna fall, they're gonna fall with him. Ash would call them sentimental and Lexi really hopes to hear him mocking her and Fezco about that -about everything-, if it would mean having Ashtray back. 

Then Fezco opens the water to splash his brother and Lexi just cries more, fists around the kid's bloody clothes, when Ashtray's eyes wide all sudden and Fezco's lets out a nervous laugh. The heavy breath out of Ash's lips, though, is what gives both Lexi and Fezco the urgent sense of reality that they have been looking for. She even smiles at the boys, back and forth, and she's sure that Fez is answering her silent see, he's awake when he cracks her way a smile of his own followed by a short breath of relief. His gentle blue eyes, behind the dropping blood, blink like he can't really believe what he's seeing. 

"You good, kid" Fezco's breaths out and Ashtray flinches when he nods, face paint in a hard expression, but nods with a vigorously movement of his head to make sure to state a point. He's alive and he has no idea what it causes on the other two's chests. "You good"

Lexi would like to ask what happened -again- now that she can look at them and -besides wounds, black eyes in the morning and skin that will need time to heal- they seem to be alright, in front of her, and she can't process a better thought. Not now, not ever. But she doesn't ask, because she's afraid to ask and to start another fight with Fezco that she's not sure she wants to face right now, when her hands are still trembling and her heart just started to decelerate to a normal rhythm. Lately, they fought a lot.

"Let's clean you, uh?" Lexi whispers to Ash, feeling Fezco's eyes on her, sure he expected her to start the fight that they both know it's just postponed to a better time. When Lexi starts washing the kid's face with her hands that now are gentle on his skin, against his cheeks, contrary to her roughness when she was trying to keep him awake, and Fezco's strips Ash from his clothes. Lexi gives a quick glance to the older, as Ashtray holds his breath after a sudden but still slow movement of his arm to get rid of his hood. The fact that she didn't ask what happened, though, does stop her from using a hard tone towards Fezco. Unvolutary, but she does. "I can do it. You should clean your face, don't let it cake and infect"

Now, Fezco is a quiet man. He's not a talkative person, he's not a guy that rambles his mind out for people -not even close ones- and he doesn't let a lot go through his freckled face: getting older, he actually got better at it, at hiding, to barely pursed lips and a frown that rarely shows concern. In situations of danger, especially when it's about Ash and Lexi, he can easily lose control over the mask he build with the years passing thanks to a quite relaxed personality and a really slow mouth, but now he keeps it -the mask- because the danger seems finally away and his brother is there, in one whole piece and breathing again, but Lexi see anyway the silent glance he gives to Ash and then back at her. It's like a silent conversation that everyone knows is happening, but that no one dares to speak aloud. 

In the end, he surrenders resentfully and eventually nods because he would put his life in Lexi's hands but, mostly, he would put Ash in her because there are two people he trusts beyond any limits and are now in front of him. Growing up, being around each other, Fezco realized that, if shit would have gone down, the only person he would have trusted with taking care of Ash was Lexi Howard. She gave him his words about it, one afternoon, sitting on the rooftop of the shop, but she also added to stop thinking about fucking death. She wasn't younger than Ash now, maybe, braces on her teeth and that sad smile that was a clear sign of a turbulent life already. "Call me, if you-" 

"I have everything under control" Lexi assures, maybe too abruptly, before Fezco ponders her words and she knows she should have been less harsh. Again. But she doesn't apologize. Eventually, Fezco stands from the ground and nods again, leaving quietly like he's used to living. Like a man that doesn't want to bother.

It needs Ash and Lexi a moment or two, after being left alone, to start talking. Ashtray's face is bad, really bad: his left eyes is starting to get swollen, red around both the skin and the usually white around the now barely visible chocolate iris, while his lips are reduces to blood that keeps dropping down his opens wounds, maybe from the inside, getting his chin and teeth dirty of a darkness that people would easily mark Ash with, but that Lexi knows is not true. He's good. He's hard, he's difficult, he can be violent, if he chose to, but he's a good person because Fezco is good and he's the one that took the responsibility to raise the kid. He could have refused after her grandma took him in as a collateral when still around, but he didn't and grew up Ash like a brother and best friends. A son. Lexi gets that love, she really does, as her heart aches for every single sound of pain coming from Ash's mouth every time she tries to get rid of a layer of clothes. Especially when she accidentally grabs him by his torso, to give the boy some stability after she gets rid of his soaked t-shirt, and Ash almost bends over the wall tiles of the bathroom, one hand on them, the other around his stomach. The wifebeater he's wearing is generally cleaned from blood, but Lexi's stomach turns upside down when she realizes what might be happening to the boy's body. 

"Where does it hurt?" she asks and insists when Ash assures it's fine and it's nothing, lying straight into her face. The tears that were rolling down her face moments prior threaten her to start reversing out of her big brown and falsely naive eyes again, when she finally gets rid of the wifebeater, the last cloth remaining on the boy's torso, and refrains from the need to throw up. Ashtray repeats again that he's fine, but in front of Lexi's broken heart, not even him can always keep his strong attitude. "Who does that to a kid" 

It's not a question, Ash knows that, it sounds like a curse against whoever reduced the one she always considered her brother in red wounds. They look like faded blood stains, spreading from his stomach and up his chest, but they are not. At least not on the surface, but under Ash's tough skin instead and, when you've been spending time with people doing illicit things in violent ways all your life, you know that sometimes it's better when the wounds are clearly seen, on the surface. They are easier to clean, to close and to help heal. When they are inside, you don't know what might happen. 

"Who did that" she whispers again and, just now, he gets that, after all, she's asking now. "What happened"

Ash leans better against the wall in the bath and for a moment, he closes his eyes, maybe to avoid Lexi's stare, broken and in pieces, while she tries to recollect herself. 

He sighs, contemplating lying because Fezco and Lexi's relationship finds itself on a tiny ice lately and he doesn't want to be the cause of a new argument. He doesn't believe that Fez and Lexi might actually fall apart from their slow complicated relationship, but this doesn't mean he's not scared that Fez won't push Lexi away again. He does that a lot, pushing any attempt from the girl to build something solid together and start over once she is done with school, but just because Fezco thinks that Lexi shouldn't even spend much time with them anymore, doesn't mean that Ashtray agrees. 

She crushed his brother since he was a skeptical quiet eight or nine years old kid starting a business with dealer Suzie Howard, after grandma got sick, and fell in love with him year after year, growing up. Fezco loved her back, took care of her when he could and watched her gravitating around him and his little brother, obvious of her crush for him. But he was older and not just in terms of ages, but also because Suzie always made sure that her daughter's hands weren't dirty on anything bad or wrong. Fezco, on the other hand, was drowning in problems and responsibilities for his whole life: just because they were both growing and reaching a certain maturity didn't mean that he would have surrendered to Lexi's fantasies of leaving, or starting a life. He liked that, but they were far away from reality, which was giving his brother whatever he needed. Since he was a kid, Fezco knew just that way to provide a life to Ashtray: sell drugs. What else was he good at?

Ash is sure Fez contemplated it more than once, leaving the dealing behind, because Lexi was really stubborn about those kinds of things and because Fezco loved her immensely, but he didn't share it aloud until recently. 

"Laurie's, we guessed" and Ash coughs, blood splattering on the dark white bath. Lexi helps him clean his mouth, once at all, and makes sure he doesn't keep bleeding from inside. She looks a bit relieved, when she notices that he doesn't, so maybe it's just some open wound that will easily heal. "We were on our side. Fez doesn't want troubles, so we stayed where we were supposed to be. He-" an heavy sigh, when he notices Lexi's eyes getting harder. "He's thinking of it"

She blinks at that, looking at Ashtray like she doesn't know what he's talking about. Her voice trembles. "What"

Ash would feel like betraying Fez, in any other circumstance, but it's Lexi, right? She's family. She's literally the only other member of the family, except for an unconscious grandma lying on the bed in the nearby room. And it's not even like Ash ever knew grandma, after all, actually he knows Lexi better than anyone else beside Fezco. "Leaving. New life and shit"

Lexi has been asking Fezco to consider it for a while now. At the beginning, it wasn't a real request, but more the wish of a teen whose life has been a constant of ups and downs to a boy who saw more downs than ups: at the beginning (which means anyway years after their first encounter) Lexi would have hang out with Fez and she would have told him would be nice to live without, you know, the drugs and all. He would have always nodded and muttered quietly, yeah, it would, because grandma gave him a path and Suzie Howard allowed him to pursue it, she trusted him when he was just nine, but it wasn't his dream life. In his dreams, it was Ash, Lexi and him, with a healthy grandma doing her goddamn businesses. But she wasn’t around anymore and Fez took, a long time ago, the responsibility to continue her career that now makes him feel like he's now trapped in someone else's life. 

"What-what did he say" Lexi indagates with a soft voice, almost on the verge of breaking. She keeps herself composed, blinking at Ashtray.

"He asked-" a breath, because he's starting to feel the fatigue, almost like he has been talking for hours and his lungs can't make it anymore. "He asked me if I wanted to leave. The business"

He isn't sure to see a little smile on her lips, because it cracks as quickly as it disappears, but he's pretty sure he sees it anyway. She leans on the edge of the bath and looks at the boy for a moment, still holding the wall like he might fall, but looking at Lexi. Just her. "What do you think about it?" 

Ash blink just once, trying to figure out his real feelings about it, especially because he feels like a lot of times his blind adoration for Fezco might get in the way. With a slow movement, he shrugs, swallowing the pain. "I don't know. I'm not sure"

"About what" 

"If I know, ya know, how to live 'nother life" he admits with a whisper and takes another breath, it trembles, even though he tries to do it deeply. Lexi's stomach protests at his words, because he shouldn't think that at fourteen, he should feel like life can change many times and surprise him in so many different ways that he should be amazed by how many things can happen without him not even realizing. This shouldn't be Ash life, but, even less, this shouldn't be Ash perspective of life.

"You won't know, if you don't try, right?" she asks with a soft voice. "You deserve another kind of life. Fezco does. And I'm gonna follow you wherever you wanna go, if you'll want me to"

Ashtray snorts light, it's weak, but the message is sent and received. Like we could not want you. Lexi smiles and when the boy looks away, eyes purposely unfocused on something else to not look at her, the girl knows he's not gonna say anything else. 

After that, she helps him finishing cleaning himself from the dirt, wraps him in a towel finally out of the bath and picks some clean clothes in his room: when she clean the wounds spreading on his face like a constellation, she patches them with care and send him to bed with some ice to put on his stomach and ribs. Even if it's going to hurt she tells him, just to receive a quick it won't, that to Lexi sounds a lot like I'll make sure a sound won't escape my mouth anyway so no one will know. 

"You can crash here, if you want" it's sudden, it's almost urgent, as Lexi steps starts to walk around his bed to leave. It's a late night, she's gonna have school in the morning and she has a grown up dealing with himself in the bathroom nearby, probably waiting for her to pick a fight. But every thought freezes, when Ash's words arrive to her and she would laugh about his tactic of never asking what he wants, but always proposing everything like it's someone else's need, if she wouldn't be so busy trying to remember when was the last time she fell asleep in the boy's bed. She's not sure, she remembers a couple of times in which she tucked his sheets like a bigger sister and kissed his forehead, before lying in the bed next to him: even as kids, he always kept a certain safe distance and he protested about any explicit manifestation of affection, so there aren't many times that Lexi remembers of her curling next to him because he asked. The last time might have been when he fractured his ankle and he couldn't move from under the sheets of his bed, so he asked her if she wanted to stay and watch a movie. He was around ten, maybe, and he got hurt because he fell trying to reach for the roof of the shop, not using the stairs like every other person, except Rue and sometimes Fezco too. Back then, it wasn't because someone beat him to almost unconsciousness, even though he's just fourteen. So, now, Lexi needs a moment to process his request. 

"Sure" she assures him and she even cracks a smile that he can't see because he's looking at the ceiling, face enlightening by the soft yellow lamp on the nightstand. "Give me a moment and I'll be back"

He nods, slowly, eyes that shut close a moment later, when Lexi slips out of the room and walks quietly to the little bathroom next to the kitchen and the second entrance of the house. Around her feet, the floor is a mess of things and objects she can't even identify, when she's about to enter the room where Fezco is cleaning himself, but she stops abruptly because he's getting out of it. He does the same and, for a fraction of second, they stay in silence, shoulders tenses and eyes into each other's. His face is clean from the dripping blood, but he has a couple of wounds that will need time to heal and will surely turn into scars. Right above his eyes, that will paint in black and purple in a couple of hours and days, or the cut lip that follows a bad looking bruise along his jaw. It almost fades under the beard, but Lexi spots it anyway. 

"How are you“ and "I was going to check on Ash" they say at the same moment, interrupting the silence that is heavy and unwanted. Fezco is the first to look away, staring briefly at Lexi pajama dirt of blood and then to his own shirt in his hands. 

"I'm alrigh'" he mutters and nodding to Ash's general bedroom direct, he adds again the most important questions. "How is he?" 

Lexi sighs and plays nervously with the hem of her pink pajama because she's not sure. She's not a doctor. "He seems alright. He's conscious and he talks, which I'm sure it's a good thing. But-" 

"But what" Fezco prompts with urgency and maybe even panic. 

"He has bruises, like hematomas, in his stomach and ribs" Lexi explains and, she swears, she sees him flinch so she reassures him. "I don't think anything is broken, or he wouldn't even be able to stand still and straight. He does. I helped him clean and dress and he was just… Weak. But tomorrow I would make him check and all. Just, you know-" 

"Be sure" Fezco concludes, jaw squeezed and he nods contemporary to Lexi's head, to his own words. She has never seen a broken man, but she's sure to have one in front of her just now. "I'll make someone come in the morning. I have a friend that should be able to pass by and check on him" 

"Yeah. Sounds good" she mutters and they stand still, frozen in their spots a couple of inches away, looking again into each other's eyes. Fezco seems about to throw something out, many times in which he opens and closes his mouth, but no sound comes out of his parted lips: Lexi guesses what it might be and, if in any other circumstance she would already pick a fight, Ash's words hold her back. In the end, she points to the boy's room. "Go check on him. He's still awake. I'll go borrow something yours to change my pajama with, if you don't mind me to crashing here and steal your clothes for the night" 

Fezco blinks at that. "You never asked"

Lexi cracks a smile, while her eyebrows furrow in the funny expression she always does when she tries to mask the discomfort. "I'm not asking. I'm stating a fact"

He nods at that, she's not sure to himself or her, but it seems like his features get darker. "Thank you. For, ya know, everything" 

"You never thanked me" she tells him, confused now, but when she realizes her words sound wrong, like he should have but never did, Lexi corrects herself. "You don't have to"

"I want to" he mutters with a tone that is slower and softer than usual, his eyebrows underlining his thoughtful expression. When he looks up, Lexi almost misses a breath. "I have to. For comin' in the middle of the night, lookin' after us-" 

At that, Lexi shakes her head vigorously. "We're family. Right? We take care of ourselves. Of each other"

"Yeah" but Fez's lips purse and, again, he looks like he wants to say something. Something big, important. Instead he just repeats: "Yeah. We are", and Lexi thinks it's just too early for Fezco to open up about what she guesses he might want to. 

But, now, she thinks she can wait for him, if he's really thinking of it, she'll leave him all the time he'll need. With a sudden movement, she finds herself lifting on her toes and pushing her forehead against his: his eyes find hers so close that he thinks it's been a while since they found each other in that proximity. Last time, Lexi cut the distance and pressed her lips on his, so Fezco almost thinks she's gonna kiss me again and I won't push her away this time, because he loves her so much that it's painful. He always did and, for the same reason, like a pathetic romcom, he always pushed her away. When they were kids, growing up, being teens and young adults. 

Though, Lexi doesn't kiss him now: she presses her forehead against his head and then closes her eyes, when she lets her arms slip around his shoulder. She's all tense nerves, at first, but all it needs for her to melt is the boy to close the gap and let his arms around her. Fezco holds Lexi like she can be able to give a sense to his life, but also like he can't quite believe she's real and she doesn't go anywhere. Even when he asks her to.

"I like to have you here" Fezco says against her skin, eyes closed and breathing her in. He holds her tighter, like he's scared she's gonna leave. She won't. "You make things easier" 

"They are not" she whispers seriousness, conscious that he's moving towards that topic, even tiptoeing around it. Without being explicit about what they discussed so many times already: change their lives and do it together.

"I know" he whispers back, because Lexi won't make things better, won't keep problems away like she's some kind of magician, protector of the O'Neils. Shit happens all the time and they'll keep facing it, until they'll decide to stop. 

There's a moment in which they hold each other still, covered by the other's embrace, before Lexi steps back and slips out of Fez's warmth. He takes her face in hand, before she can completely walk away, and leaves a kiss on her forehead. It's louder than any word, it's louder than Fezco telling her I love you since you spied on me, the first time I came to your house because it's easy to feel his thoughts through actions, from that kiss to the photo of the two of them hanging in Fezco's room, when they part ways and Lexi goes changing her clothes. 

His bedroom isn't exactly a place he takes care of, like Ash's, it's a chaos of clothes discarded around for everyone to stumble in them and it doesn't tell much about Fezco's: around the boys house there are a couple of movie posters, like the Scarface one in the living room, but nothing more personal of that. No photo on the furniture, or on the wall in the hallway, no photos on the fridge, except for the one of Lexi and Fezco that Ash took with annoyance at the last year fair and that the girl is now observing. Standing in Fez's room, Lexi fidget with her dirty pajamas for a moment frowning at the sight of the photo, wondering if they'll ever be able to move into a new life in which they'll hang pictures of them wherever they want, where they treat their house like such instead of a place where they make business, where clients knock in the middle of the day or night desperate for a dose. She wonders and hopes, but questions stay unanswered.

When Lexi changes into one of Fezco's t-shirt that looks clean enough and in a pair of sweatpants, she doesn't look at photo anymore and just walks out of the door, ignoring Fezco holding her at the fair like they have been together for years: in some ways, they have been. Never officially. Never moving further than a constant dance around each other, while people around them were already giving them a story, without really knowing. Lexi never minded, it actually flattered her. 

When she enters Ash's room again, she leans against the doorframe, watching the two brothers murmuring to one another, one laying still and the other sitting on the edge of the mattress. Lexi can't hold back the smile that cracks on her lips at the scene, so unusual, but at the same time so familiar even though the younger boy's face is dark, pouting behind the cleaned wounds. It's him the first that notices Lexi, causing the soft mutters to stop and Fezco to follow his brother's stare and to nod in Lexi's direction. It's clear that she interrupted something, she has this feeling that they were having a conversation and  she should apologize and come back later, but Fezco makes sure to stand and, with a small smile, pats affectionately at Ash's head. The younger one doesn't seem to like it, but doesn't say anything, barely glancing at Lexi when she sits on the free side of the bed. Fezco walks around the room a moment longer, eyes scanning from his brother to the woman he loves. 

"Call if anything happens" he tells Lexi and she nods, as he bends over her and leaves a kiss on her hair. Lexi would like to say she doesn't lean on the touch longer than she's supposed to, but she would lie and the stare that Fezco's usually blue eyes (now darker and in pain) reserves her tells that he noticed too. He doesn't say a word about it, but his eyelashes flutter for a second: the one later, he's out of the room, leaving the door ajar. 

"Are you angry?" is the first thing that Lexi asks Ash, once alone, slipping under the sheets and sitting on the one that will be her side of the bed for the night. The boy doesn't move his stare from the ceiling, mouth shut and it's enough for Lexi to have her answer. She looks down to him, watching the wounds spreading from under the bandages she carefully put on his ruined skin. "What did I do" 

"You told him I need to be fuckin' checked" Ash spats then, moving his eyes from the ceiling to an apprehensive Lexi, but staying unmoved with the rest of his body under the sheets she carefully tucked a couple of moments prior. His voice doesn't come out hard like he would have liked to, but the girl gets his anger anyway and sighs. "Ain't fuckin' four. He's gonna treat me like I'm fuckin' four, now. I'm fine" 

"I don't care" it's all Lexi tells and this makes Ashtray flinch, when wants to frown but the wounds on his face give him nothing but pain. "You can hate me for what it matters"

"I do" he doesn't, luckily both of them know that. "He's gonna keep me on the bench until I won't be fully healed. That's bullshit"

"I don't care" Lexi repeats again and her eyes move from Ash's hard stare to a random point in front of her. Stare unfocused, thoughts so sharp. "You entered this house unconscious. You can't even breath without pain going through your face. I'm not gonna apologize for telling Fez. And, also, it's not like he's stupid, he would have noticed and would have done it anyway, because it’s the right thing to do. You love someone and you take care of them"

"But I'm fine" 

There's a moment of silence, a heavy one, in which Lexi would like to scream that he's not fine, that his body aches and she can't handle the vision of him like that. She's about to and she has to hold every need to not do that. Instead, she stays quiet and, after a moment, she lays like Ash on the mattress, facing the sad ceiling. She feels observed for a moment, clearly hearing Ash's head turning on the pillow towards her to observe her profile and understand her intentions, but it's just when she thinks that the boy took his previous position that she talks. Eyes glued to the roof. 

"I thought you might not wake up" she confesses, arms laying still against her sides and eyes that, if Ash could see them, would describe as sad. "I don't care if you're gonna be mad at me, or Fez, for days, weeks or months. Go on. I'll be fine. We will be fine. And you know why? Because we did everything to make sure you wouldn't die" Lexi is sure she hears Ash breathing deeper and heavily when she says die. It's barely noticeable, but he does. "You know, when I was little my mom used to tell Cassie and me to never fall in love with two kinds of people: who does drugs and who sells drugs. Someone would say it's funny coming from her. She's the head of a criminal organization of drug dealers and she married an addict that would have sold everything for a dose. Even his family, which he kind of did. But it's not that funny, if you really think of it: my mom talks by experience, like a woman with questionable choices in life, that tries to be at least a decent mom when it comes to her daughters' future. I get it. I really get her point of view, but I know she's somehow deluded from me. Not only because I didn't listen to her and fell in love with Fezco when I was a kid, against all her advices and wishes for my future. But because falling in love with Fezco meant learning to love you too. My mom looks at me and I see disappointment in her eyes, because I knew since I was a kid what it meant -hanging with you guys and falling for you everyday a bit more- and I did it anyway, accepting a risk that was double. I took the risk to see two people getting hurt, injured and die and have to face the aftermath. But me dealing with this risk doesn't  mean I won't do anything in my power to keep you safe. I'll keep you alive and in one whole piece until I'll be able to, because the moment I won't, it will be the end of me. Do you get that? The moment something happens to you, I'm gonna break and I don't want to even imagine what I would do in this circumstance. It is painful just to think about it. So, yeah, I don't care if you're angry at me now, I won't apologize for loving you. Because I do, Ash, with my life, hope you know that"

The silence after that stretches for long moments, instants, minutes that seem longer than they really are and no one seems willing to say or add anything. Lexi gets that, she didn't really expect anything from Ash because he's not good with words: he's with a lot of other things, but not with words, so it's easy at some point to think he won't say anything and it's fine. It was a possibility and Lexi knew that, so she's not surprised now, when she just bends over the nightstand and turns off the light of the lamp. For a couple of moments, after she gets back to her previous position, silence keeps reign in the room. Until it doesn't anymore. 

"We know" Ash tells Lexi, quietly, like a secret. "That you love us. We know" 

"Good" 

"Can I tell you something?" Lexi mutters just an uhm-uhm, barely shaking her head affirmatively, even though Ash can't see her. She knows he can guess anyway. "Sometimes I think 'bout what my life would have been if, ya know, my mom wouldn't have left me here with Fez and grandma. It doesn't make me sad. She left me here to pay for her drugs, so it says much 'bout what kinda mother she would have been. Maybe" a breath that shakes, from both physical pain and maybe because feelings get in the middle. "Maybe I would have gone to school, maybe I would have had friends and a normal life, ya know, but then I would have gone home and she would have been somewhere, high, passed out. So sometimes I think that I know I don't-that I don't have a normal life, here, that I don't even exist because I falsified my own documents and that people of my age do other things in their lives, but this is the best life someone could have give to me, because I have people that aren't my mother and father, or siblings by blood, but they do always everything they can to give me everything. So they kinda are. My mother, my father, my blood siblings. You know what I mean, right?"

I love you both like a mother, a father, like we're biological siblings. Lexi nods and, just now, she realizes she didn't notice that tears are wetting her cheeks and the pillow under her head. She nods again, wishing Fez would be here with them. "Yeah. I know. We'll be everything you'll need"

"You that already" Ash whispers, even more quietly than Lexi could have imagined. She holds her breath when he slips near her and, after a couple of instants, he falls asleep breathing heavily against her shoulder. Lexi lies awake for a little longer, hearing the sound of his heavy breaths and suddenly feeling like Suzie Howard, back to when she did everything in her power to keep her children out of her dangerous life, safe: maybe she will be proud of her, when Lexi will do anything to give Ash a future he deserves. 

Lexi understands Suzie better now than she has ever done in her whole life. 

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Sweet serenade (part 1)

Bunty Windermere x reader. This is part one of two.

My first Father Brown fic! The Polish resettlement camp mentioned here is the one Suzie lived in, even though it hasn’t been mentioned since season 1. I usually watch Father Brown dubbed in my language, which is why I’m not sure I can faithfully portray the “voice” of the characters, with the appropriate 1950s lingo and all that; any suggestion is appreciated!

Warning: mentions of homophobia.

*****

Ten years ago

Bunty Windermere, sixteen years, three months and four days old, weeps silently, cuddled up on the spacious bed, in her family’s stately home; the walls have been recently repainted in a pretty peach colour her mother has chosen, and Bunty dislikes. She has put on her nightgown to cover the chemise that was everything she had on when her parents arrived, and tears keep flowing down her face; tears of pain, and regret, and most of all, of shame.

Oh, Merry, Bunty thinks; that’s all she can do, since the person those apologies are directed to is gone, thrown out of the house she has worked faithfully in for more than a year, and she’ll probably never see her again. I am so sorry. It’s all my fault… 

Bunty’s bedroom is on the first floor, and her parents have decided to retire to the living room before starting to argue, which is why their voices arrive muffled to her ears - not so much, though, to make it impossible for Bunty to decipher their words, especially her father’s, since he’s the one who is almost shouting. A blasted invert… against nature… under my roof… disgusting… 

Her tears have all but washed away Bunty’s make-up, which she tried to copy from a ladies’ magazine to look nice for her date. Hands pressed to her ears, she wills herself to become deaf to those terrible insults and accusations, and so misses the soft noise of the door opening, and realises she’s not alone in the room anymore only when, lying on her stomach with her arms hiding her face, she catches a glimpse of a pair of elegant, high-heeled shoes approaching the bed.

“May I come in, Bunty?” Aunt Fliss asks softly, and after a moment of confusion the girl quickly remembers that of course, her aunt had been invited to that soirée -that blasted soirée, Bunty thinks resentfully; what adult people party ends before eleven at night?!- at the home of a friend of her parents, so it’s not surprising that she came home with them, maybe for a nightcap or something of the sort.

Felicia, newly engaged to lord Montague -a man Bunty doesn’t necessarily dislike, but she thinks her aunt deserves much better, or at least more than a man who is already losing his hair before turning forty- as usual impeccably dressed, stylish and just a little more daring that would normally be acceptable, doesn’t wait for an answer to her question, but goes sit on the bed next to her niece. She takes a look around -the clothes abandoned on the chair and chest of drawers, the books and magazines piled on the desk, a record by Édith Piaf Bunty had put on her phonograph to create what she hoped was the right atmosphere for the evening- comments that the room is as messy as her own was when she was her niece’s age and she likes it very much, and then, circling Bunty’s shoulders with her arm, she sweetly inquires: “You want to tell me what has happened?”

Bunty is pretty sure her aunt already knows -after all the shouting match has been going on for fifteen minutes already, that is since Felicia and her brother and sister-in-law have returned from the party- but since her aunt is the only real ally she has ever had within the family, Bunty decides to indulge her, no matter how ashamed she feels - not of the fact itself, but of the pain and trouble she has caused to someone who didn’t deserve any of it. 

“It… it’s about Merry - Meredith, I mean, our maid; she’s a year older than me, she lives in the attic.” she begins, without the courage to look her aunt in the eyes; with a pang of guilt, she realises she should now use the past tense “Mom and dad came back earlier than expected, and… and they found her here with me.”

A pause. 

“We were in bed together.”

“I had gathered that much, Penelope.” her aunt sighs, without breaking her hug; the revelation seems to have surprised her, but there is no trace of disgust or horror on her elegant face, which comforts Bunty more than she could explain in words. She can still hear her parents fight; she can hear her mother crying, which is something she is not used to, and that makes her feel as if a whole building were weighing on her back, crushing her to the ground. 

“Dad is very angry, isn’t he?”

“I’m afraid so, darling; and I fear Meredith will be forced to leave. But don’t worry, I’ll speak to your father and I’ll convince him to give her good references, so that she can find a new job.”

“If he refuses you could threaten to tell mum he is having an affair with that woman working at his club.” Bunty suggests, and smiles weakly at her aunt’s surprise; her brother’s infidelity is old news for Felicia, and this club woman is the latest of a long list, but she had no idea her niece was aware of the fact “I’m not the only one in the family with a secret, aren’t I?” 

“You clearly aren’t. How do you feel?” 

Bunty sobs as she turns on her side, looking helplessly at her aunt; she has never felt so alone, and she has never looked so young and helpless. “I feel wretched. It’s all my fault, now Merry will lose her job, while I’ll be forbidden to leave the house for a while at worst. It was my idea, I invited Merry to come here, and now I ruined her life…”

Felicia softly points out that she clearly didn’t mean to cause so much trouble for her friend, who in any case will easily find another job, and Bunty answers that doesn’t make her feel better at all. Merry may not be her soulmate, she’s already mature enough to know, but Bunty liked her very much, and while she meant well when she started flirting with the young maid and knows Merry reciprocated the interest in full, she never stopped to think about what their difference in status may mean should they be discovered.  

“Aunt Fliss?”

“Yes, darling?” Felicia asks kindly, and Bunty looks at her. Felicia Windermere is no saint, and her niece knows what is being said about her, about her friends and those parties she attends where most of the attendees arrive with a partner and leave with another, but she doesn’t care; her aunt is a clever, resourceful woman, one who has always gone her own way without letting herself being influenced by critics and disapproval. Bunty trusts Felicia, she actually wishes she were a lot like her, and because of this she finds the courage to ask for… what? Absolution? Or maybe simply understanding…

“Is what Merry and I were doing so wrong? I am… very fond of her, and she of me, no one had been forced…” 

Felicia sighs as she looks at her niece, not unkindly, as she thinks back to when she was Bunty’s age and questions like that still made sense. A melancholic smile brushes against her rouged lips; she is decidedly not the most appropriate person to teach a young girl what is right or wrong concerning matters of the heart and she knows. “I wish I could tell you that as long as you hurt no one you can be free to live your life as you please.” she murmurs in the end “Unfortunately that is not how things work, and you are old enough to understand this. But there is one thing I want you to remember: don’t let anyone, especially not a person as close-minded as your father, make you feel ashamed about yourself, and tell you who to be fond of - who to love.”

Bunty’s smile is bitter as she dries her tears on the back of her hand - too bitter for her age, and for a person whose only sin has been to follow the desires of her heart. “If he catches me with a girl again I think dad would kill me; or even worse, put me in a convent.” she points out softly, only partially exaggerating, and her aunt admits that yes, her brother may accept a daughter who flirts with boys, but finding her with a person of her own gender…in that case the consequences could very well be catastrophic.

Felicia takes her niece’s face in her hands. “Try looking after yourself, Penelope” she advises, her eyes full of affection and concern, and Bunty promises she will. 

Six months ago

Bunty Windermere, twenty-five years, seven months and twelve days old, walks leisurely through the streets of Kembleford, an odd feeling, both resignation and hope, filling her heart. She is obviously happy to have escaped the latest row with her parents -her father especially- and since aunt Fliss had spoken so well about the village in her letters she is sure she’ll feel right at ease as well, but this place is so tiny… there is no night club or bar, the shops are so few she can count them on one hand and the most exciting event of the year must be the parish bingo at Christmas. She has met Father Brown only yesterday and she knows he is an exceptional person already, and mrs McCarthy, who she has heard so much about from her aunt it is almost as if they knew each other already, has been very kind to her as well, but people here go to bed with the sun and there is really nothing to do, nothing a person her age could do to pass the time and have some fun…

She’s walking along an empty unpaved road at the edge of the village, not far from the Polish resettlement camp, a gentle wind making the hem of her skirt twirl around her calves, her blue handbag hanging from her elbow. Bunty is so deep in her thoughts she doesn’t realise she’s no longer alone on the path until it’s too late; one moment the roar of an approaching engine behind her reaches her ears…

… and the next a moped, coming down the road at full speed, reaches her, and as the vehicle passes her the driver reaches towards Bunty, grabs the strap of her handbag and snatches it off her. 

A strangled cry, due more to surprise than fear or pain, escapes Bunty’s lips; she stumbles, already vaguely aware of what has happened but too shaken to react, and a moment later she has lost her balance, and she is falling, face forward onto the ground, and she knows it’s going to hurt, a lot, but she can’t do anything to stop it… 

She hits the ground hard, and pain explodes inside her; Bunty remains still for a minute, dizzy and still partially uncomprehending, before cautiously checking herself for damages; her face is miraculously uninjured, but she has hit both her right elbow and knee, and she can feel blood trickling down her leg. 

Those few seconds were enough to allow the moped, and the person driving it, to get away, the engine noise already disappearing in the distance. Bunty swears (something she had ordered herself never to do when in Father Brown’s company, or mrs McCarthy’s) under her breath. She had never been mugged in her life, a positive streak she’d rather not have broken. It’s really absurd, nothing ever happened to her when she lived in London, and then, after she moves to a tiny, sleepy village…!

“Oh, my God…!”

An alarmed, female voice fills the air, and then the sound of an hurried walk. Bunty blinks and, still lying on her stomach, sees a pair of sturdy brown boots enter her field of vision, and then a pair of knees, as their owner squats in front of her. “Are you alright? Did you hurt your head?” 

“No, I… I’m fine, I think.”

“Oh, that’s a relief. Give me your hand; can you stand?”

She can, and she does, the other woman ready to intervene should she stumble or lose balance again. “I saw what happened, but I was too far to intervene.” she explains, as if Bunty could accuse her otherwise; the moped has disappeared in the countryside surrounding the village, and the two women, being on foot, have no way to reach it “Did you see who it was?”

Bunty shakes her head as she checks herself; fortunately the one on her elbow is just a scratch, but her left leg is bleeding. She gratefully accepts the handkerchief the other woman quickly retrieves from her own handbag and offers her, and she reflects that she has to adjust her opinion on Kembleford, the village is not as sleepy and boring as she expected at all! Lovely, I’ve been here for less than a day and I have been mugged already… 

“Unfortunately no; it was a man, of that I’m pretty sure, but I couldn’t see his face.” she explains “And in any case I don’t know anyone yet, here in the village, so…”

The woman beams at her; she has a lovely smile, Bunty can’t help noticing.

“Ah! You must be lady Felicia’s niece; Father Brown mentioned you had moved here. Your name is Penelope, yes?”

It is; but she has not thought of herself as a Penelope since she was six. “I’m Bunty, Bunty Windermere.”

“It’s very nice to meet you; I’m (name), (full name).” 

They shake hands, and Bunty finds herself looking curiously at the other woman: she’s the first person her own age she meets after her arrival in Kembleford. (name) smiles at her, but a moment later her cheeks turn pink. “Oh, I’m so sorry; you have just been robbed, and I waste time making small talk…”

Bunty shakes her head; she’s still upset, but (name)’s presence is having a positive, reassuring effect on her… as if she couldn’t help feeling better, even though her handbag is lost and the other woman can’t do anything to help her.

“It’s no problem, really; it was good of you to come assist me.”

“Don’t mention it, I just wish I were close enough to intervene. I’m sorry for your handbag; did you have… something important in it…?”

Bunty shrugs; fortunately she didn’t expect to have a reason to carry money with her in Kembleford, since there are no clothing shops or restaurants. “Not much, but it had my favourite lipstick inside, and my documents… Well, I can ask for a new copy of those. I’m mainly sorry about the handbag, it was a gift from my aunt…” 

(name) frowns, her hands in her skirt’s pockets. She couldn’t look more vexed if she had been mugged herself, Bunty thinks with a sudden surge of affection, an unexpected feeling given the fact they have just met.

“I’m so sorry for what happened, and just a day after your arrival in Kembleford, I don’t even want to know what you must be thinking about the people here…”

“Well, unfortunately I know there are muggers everywhere, as well as good people.” Bunty points out; the idea of a person feeling sorry for another’s opinion on her town is a bit odd… but sweet “Are you… part of the village’s welcoming committee, by any chance?”

The question makes (name) blush adorably. “Well, no; but I’ve lived in Kembleford since I was born, and I’d like newcomers to feel at ease and welcome as well. Also, your aunt has always been kind to me.”

“You know her?”

“I’ve worked as a maid at Montague Manor when I was younger; I’m starting my own business now, or at least I’m trying, but she helped me a lot for years. You want to come to my place? I live down the road, you’re welcome to have some tea, if you want, or if you need to clean that wound on your leg.”

It is sweet of her, Bunty thinks, to worry about a person she has just met; (name) seems nice… and she’s also very pretty, she thinks without actually considering the fact - for now. “I think I’ll survive, thank you.” she says; she looks at (name), and (name) looks at her, and suddenly both of them are smiling “But I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea, if it’s not too much of a bother.” 

The other woman’s response is quick, and sincere; even impassioned. “It’s no bother at all; quite the opposite.” she says; even so, there is something shy in the way she bites her lip, as if fearing her new acquaintance won’t find her company interesting enough to justify accepting her offer “Come with me, then.” 

Side by side, the two women start down the road, the sun slowly setting down behind them and the theft of the handbag all but forgotten. 

Three days ago

Bunty Windermere, twenty-six years, one month and nineteen days old, stopped dusting one of the round tables arranged around the room’s perimeter and grinned as (name) bent over the table and kissed her nose. 

“To what do I owe this display of affection?” she inquired, and the other woman winked as she smiled, that open, sunny smile that, six months after their first meeting, still had the power to make Bunty’s heart tremble. 

“To the fact that you are so adorable I simply couldn’t resist; and as a thank you for all the help you’re giving me, obviously.”

Bunty, who like her partner was wearing old trousers and a blouse already stained with green paint after the two of them had spent an hour preparing the sign to hang above the shop’s door, admitted that sweeping the floor and unpacking boxes of supplies was not exactly her idea of a fun morning. “Which is why I expect to be paid, mind you.”

(name), who looked happier and more excited than ever even though she had never been so busy, or running on so little sleep, pretended to think about it. “That can be arranged. Do you accept payments in kind?”

“From you? I might as well…”

The two women exchanged a smile, and then (name) turned to look all around her, equally proud and nervous for her shop. The room had a circular shape, the walls painted teal, her favourite colour; comfortable stools and chairs surrounded the round tables, while the counter was still empty, ready to be filled with fruit or cream-flavoured desserts. A second large banner, that Bunty had prepared herself since she couldn’t find one she deemed appropriate in the shops, hung from the ceiling. “SWEET SERENADE ICE CREAM PARLOUR - GRAND OPENING TODAY” it said in large, bright letters. 

Bunty smiled; she reached (name) and circled her shoulders with an arm. “Are you excited?”

“Excited? I haven’t slept for a week!” (name) exclaimed; she bit her lip, suddenly unsure “What if no one comes?” 

“I’m sure they’ll all come. Yours will be the first ice cream parlour in Kembleford, and the whole village has been talking about it for weeks. I’m sure you’ll have an incredible success.”

“I hope so! I’ve worked in six restaurants or cafés since I was maybe twelve, and I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, but this place is my own, and an ice cream parlour…” (name) bit her lip, as if not daring to believe her lifelong dream was finally about to become reality “I can’t wait for the shop to open! I really hope people like it.”

“I’m sure they will; it’ll go splendidly, since you have devoted so much time and effort to it. You should be proud of yourself, (name).” Bunty urged her; she remained silent for a moment before adding: “I am, in case you want to know.”

For a moment they simply stared at each other, wordlessly, two practically dressed young women -they planned on changing before the grand opening; as the shop’s owner (name) was determined to look her best for her new clients, while Bunty had always taken a leaf out of her aunt’s book and never appeared in public looking less than fabulous- a little weary after a whole morning spent cleaning the ice cream parlour and preparing it for its debut, and breathless for a completely different reason. Bunty felt suddenly shy, even a little self-conscious, which was absurd, since she had not uttered a love declaration, not at all, she had simply made an observation, even though for her standards -the standards of a woman who had had many flings and special friendships, but could count the real relationships of her life on one hand… and still have a couple of fingers to spare- that was no small matters, and she felt deeply close to the woman in front of her, a woman she had been fond of since their first meeting, when (name)’s sincere concern and earnest offer for help had won her over without either of them realising. It was difficult to give a name to, to define, that relationship, that was friendship and passion and trust and affection and empathy all in one, and yet so much more, a feeling she wasn’t used to and that, truth to be told, scared her a little, but Bunty knew she could never give up on…

She remained waiting, almost holding her breath, for a reaction, and thank God (name) did not disappoint; the other woman took her hands in her own, and smiled in that special way she had, happy and beautiful. “Of course I want to know; I care about your opinion more than anyone else’s.”

“... really?”

“You know it, Bunty. You know how much I care for you… and I don’t want to brag, but I know you care about me as well.” (name) said; she grinned, her eyebrow raised “Or am I wrong?”

A moment later they were in each other’s arms, joined in a kiss so intense it made both of their heads spin; it was a sweet moment, intense beyond words, but Bunty felt stupid -worse, she felt a coward- because she knew what was between her and (name) was special, almost magical, and she would have wanted nothing better than to shout it to the whole world, but she couldn’t, and the fault was her father’s, and the threats that had remained with her for ten years’, but still…

Cowardly. Cowardly and mean. 

… still, she knew it was unfair, and that the other woman deserved better.

“Is everything all right?” (name) inquired; she broke their kiss, and placed her hand against Bunty’s cheek; she was wearing a simple ring - her greatest treasure, she had explained to the other woman, not because of the jewel’s intrinsic value but because it had belonged to her mother “Bunty, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Bunty reassured her, forcing herself to smile; she felt guilty, as if she had cruelly hurt (name), and it pained her enormously. She was searching for a way to change the subject when, to her immense relief, she realised they were not alone in the shop anymore, which gave her a pretext to let the conversation drop.

“Hello, Father.” she said, looking towards the door and missing the disappointment on (name)’s face “Hello, mrs McCarthy. You’re more than a little early.”

“Are you quite sure you have made the right decision? What I mean to say is, he seems like a proper boy, polite, but you know what sort of family he was born in…”

“As I said already, the fact that Maksym’s father has made some mistakes, and that perhaps he will make some more in the future, doesn’t matter; the boy needs a job to help support his family, while we need someone to do the cleaning at St Mary’s. And in any case, what are you so afraid of? He can’t very well steal a confessional, can he?”

On that clear, sunny morning, Father Brown and his parish secretary had decided to take the long way to reach St Mary’s church, enjoying a brief walk before checking on the new cleaner’s first day of work. Mrs McCarthy sighed, still unsure the object of their discussion was up to the task. “It is true that there are no objects of value in the church.” she admitted; she waited for the priest to stop and greet a parishioner walking past them, and then added, her voice lowered to a whisper: “But even so, I’d feel more at ease if we waited a week before hiring him on a permanent basis.”

“That sounds reasonable. I’m sure Maksym will not disappoint.”

The priest and his faithful companion went through the church’s front door, and even the fastidious (she would have said particular) mrs McCarthy had to admit the wide room, bathed in the late morning’s light, looked way better than the day before; the single aisle’s floor had been swept meticulously, and the old wooden pews, each with two prayers’ books neatly placed on the seat, looked freshly dusted. The new cleaner had also replaced the flowers in the vase next to the altar, a gift from a parishioner’s garden, and polished the brass candle-holders on the sides of the door. “Well, he clearly didn’t inherit his father’s slacking tendencies.” she admitted.

Her approval made Father Brown smile. “Good morning, Maksym.” he said then, noticing the newly-hired cleaner, walking towards them from the other end of the church, and who smiled broadly in response. Maksym Czarniecki had recently turned fifteen, and lived in Kemblefold’s Polish resettlement camp; he was a sandy-haired, tall and slender boy, serious and polite when he wasn’t too shy to express himself. Father Brown was quite fond of him, and had been happy to give him a job. “We were just saying you’re doing a very good job.”

“Good morning, Father; good morning, mrs McCarthy.” the boy replied politely, the handle of a broom grasped in his hands; like many of the Polish camp’s residents, he spoke with a heavy accent, but his English was better than most “Thank you. I have just finished sweeping the floors here, and now I’ll do the same in the sacristy. I think I’ll be done by lunch time.” 

“There is no rush, the afternoon mass is at five. Do you have everything you need?”

Maksym thought about it for a moment, more focused on the matter than many would have been in his place. “Now that you mention it I could need some more detergent for the floors; do you mind if I go check?”

Father Brown answered that they didn’t mind waiting and Maksym left, hurrying towards the sacristy, connected to the church’s main room through a small door behind the confessional. “Are you sure you want to visit (name)’s shop before the opening ceremony?” mrs McCarthy asked as she examined the church’s floor in search of remaining dust grains “It is not exactly along the way home.”

“Of course. (name) has worked so much to make her dream of opening an ice cream parlour come true, and I think she needs all the support she can get; I want to wish her good luck.” 

“You’re only saying that because you hope she’ll give you some extra ice cream.”

The priest simply smiled in response, without denying; gluttony was a deadly sin, but he was confident a cup of chocolate and lemon ice cream wouldn’t lead him to perdition. 

Mrs McCarthy, whose floor inspection had yielded satisfactory results, hesitated for a moment before changing the subject… to one she didn’t feel quite comfortable discussing. 

“You know that after Bunty moved here in Kembleford she and (name) have become… great friends.” she started in the end; Father Brown, who knew her well enough to perceive where his parish’s secretary was getting at, pretended not to.

“Of course, they have been joined at the hip since they first met; it’s almost impossible to meet one of them without the other.”

“Exactly, about that…”

Mrs McCarthy looked quickly all around herself, as if fearing the walls or the wooden pews could listen… and chide her for discussing such scandalous matters; her voice dropped even lower. “You know as well as I do that for years there have been rumours in the village about (name)’s… inclinations.” she explained “And we know that Bunty is not exactly shy when… relationships are concerned. Besides, either she has finally started making her own bed after getting up, or in the last few weeks she has started sleeping out regularly… including last night.”

All of a sudden, Father Brown looked very focused on a damp spot on the nearest wall. 

“So I was wondering… if there was something between them; something that went beyond friendship. If they were… I mean, together. What do you think?”

“I think it is very nice that two young, adult, unmarried women, one of whom knew no one when she moved here in the village and the other who lost her only family when she was little more than a child, have become close and able to find companionship and comfort in each other. Don’t you agree?”

“Well, yes, of course.” mrs McCarthy admitted, impatient; the truth was, she was fond of both (name) and Bunty, even though she didn’t quite know what to make of their relationship. If only Father Brown would meet her halfway, instead of playing dumb! “They are both good girls, that’s for sure, but…”  

“I found it!” Maksym announced, joining the two once more and inadvertently putting an end to their conversation; part of mrs McCarthy was vaguely annoyed, but the other was almost thankful “Sorry if I kept you waiting, Father, I have two bottles of floor detergent, it will be enough for two weeks at least.”

“That is good to hear. Tell me, Maksym, do you know a woman named (full name)?” Father Brown inquired, who had just gotten an idea. 

“Of course, she’s that lady who lives near the greengrocer; sometimes I meet her on my way to school.”

“Well, perhaps you know already, but in the afternoon there will be the opening of (name)’s new ice cream parlour. Why don’t you come? It should be fun.”

Maksym looked interested, even thrilled, for a moment, but then his expression changed to one of regret, and he said he’d better not come. “It’s not because I don’t like ice cream.” he explained when Father Brown asked him “I do, even though I have only eaten it once. It’s just… Well, at the moment I have no money, so…”

Father Brown kindly pointed out that he wouldn’t need to pay, since for the opening the ice cream would be offered for free, in order to attract the attention of potential clients. “So you can simply go and ask for a cone the flavour you prefer.”

“Yes, but… won’t miss (name) mind that I scrounge off her? We at the camp don’t have much, I doubt we’ll be able to buy ice cream from her.”

“I’m sure (name) won’t mind,” mrs McCarthy reassured him; she wasn’t sure yet Father Brown had made the right decision hiring a person of not proven experience to take care of the church’s cleaning, but she couldn’t help appreciating the boy’s integrity “And if you want to be sure of it, you can come with us and ask her… and then return here to finish cleaning up.” 

Maksym, happy and with his conscience clear, accepted; as the boy went to put away his broom, Father Brown smiled gratefully at his parish secretary, who simply smiled in return. A minute later, the trio was leaving St Mary’s and, walking unhurriedly in the early spring’s warmth, reached the still un-inaugurated ice cream parlour. The small building, not far from Kemblefold’s main square, had hosted a barbershop until the previous year, and when the owner had retired (name) had taken the opportunity to buy it for a reasonable sum and repurpose it. 

As they entered, Maksym looked around, openly curious. “This is a nice place; I had never been in an ice cream shop.” he mentioned, while Father Brown and mrs McCarthy’s eyes immediately darted to (name) and Bunty, standing in the middle of the room… holding each other in an embrace, just a little too tight to be purely friendly.

They both instantly decided to pretend nothing happened… and they weren’t the only ones.

“Hello, Father.” Bunty said, smiling, a bit forcefully, at both; she was still wearing the same clothes as the previous evening and she was sure both the priest and his parish secretary had noticed “Hello, mrs McCarthy. You’re more than a little early.”

“We thought we would come to see how you are managing, and wish (name) good luck for her big day.” Father Brown explained, earning a large, grateful smile from the shop’s owner “And this is Maksym, our new cleaner… he had a question for you, (name).”

Clearly shy but politely, the boy explained his situation, and (name) told him he had no reason to worry. “This afternoon all residents of Kembleford will be my guests, and the more people will come, the happier I will be.” she reassured him; she had never spoken to Maksym before, since she had no friends at the Polish camp and the boy seemed to mainly hang around people his age, but he looked polite and well-mannered, and she appreciated his worrying about exploiting her “I’d really like you to come, and your friends from the camp as well.”

Maksym beamed at her, as if (name) had offered him a thousand pounds as a present. “Amazing! I’ll definitely come, miss (last name).”

(name) smiled, touched by his enthusiasm; no one better than her knew how a small treat, even a cheap ice cream, could make a person feel better, and offer a moment of joy even in the darkest of times. Her own parents had used to bring her to eat an ice cream at a café out of Kembleford every sunday after mass; she missed them more than the tasty dessert, of course, but she liked to think opening her own shop also meant honouring their memory.

“You’re more than welcome, precious. And you will come, will you, Father? It’d mean a lot if you wanted to bless the shop as well.”

Father Brown answered that he would be happy to. 

“What about you, mrs McCarthy?” Bunty inquired with a smile; she was still holding (name)’s arm under hers “Fancy an ice cream come?”

“I wouldn’t know; actually I had decided to start dieting…”

“Oh, come on; you don’t need to lose weight.” (name) pointed out courteously “And fruity ice creams are lower in fat than creamy ones, so if you get one of those you will be safe.” Flattered by the compliment, mrs McCarthy replied that maybe she could indulge in a little treat, as long as it was just a small cup.

“Is there anything you need, (name)?”

“I think I’m all set, Father. The suppliers should be here in half an hour, and thanks to Bunty I am almost done with cleaning the place.”

“All right, then; I can’t wait to taste that dark chocolate you told me so much about.”

(name) promised she would save him a cup, and a moment later the shop’s door opened once more. Inspector Mallory, who wore a grey raincoat, marched in, sergeant Goodfellow following suit.

“Hello, inspector.” (name) greeted him; she didn’t particularly like the head of the local police and was pretty sure she was unloved in return, but in her days as a waitress and maid she had had her share of unpleasant clients and guests, and was used to put on a good face and treat politely people who didn’t deserve it “Hello, sergeant. If you’re here for the opening I’m afraid you’re a few hours early.”

“I’m not here to eat an ice cream.” the inspector answered brusquely, before turning his eyes to Father Brown “Why are you here, Padre?”

“I just came to wish (name) good luck for the opening of her shop.” the priest answered, imperturbable “What about you? What brings you here?”

“My job, obviously; and I probably shouldn’t be surprised to find you there, since you are in the habit of getting involved in matters that don’t concern you. Although this time you have missed the crime scene; starting to slacken, are you?”

Before any of those present could ask the meaning of those words, Mallory had Goodfellow pass him the handcuffs the sergeant carried at his belt… and then, to the shock of all, stood in front of Bunty to put them on her wrists. “Penelope Windermere, I’m arresting you for the murder of Tadeusz Chodakievicz.”

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song drabbles

Seokjin’s chapter ix 

kim seokjin x reader warnings; angst, this feels pretty heavy at certain points but gets lighter as you go on, there’s a therapy session included, and just a lot of introspection  words; 7,459

author’s note; this kind of ran away with me, wasn’t expecting it to be so long haha but I hope you enjoy! 

Read the original chapter ix here 

↪︎ read the series here / and drabbles here

After you left Seokjin immediately poured the rest of his whisky down the sink and rinsed his glass. His mind was whirring, head heavy and starting to throb. He swallowed two painkillers down with some water and took a deep breath. He felt like crying. It felt like everything was crumbling around him. All his recent happiness, all his progress, and now possibly it seemed, his relationship with you… 

He’d wanted nothing more than to beg you to stay, and he had to an extent, but he knew it wasn’t right. He closed his eyes, not quite believing you’d witnessed all that. You probably thought he was a monster. He hadn’t lost his temper quite like that in a while, not since before the divorce… Embarrassment washed over him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from still being mad at Nana. He knew what you said made sense. He knew he’d been out of line but Nana continuously goaded him. She’d done so throughout their marriage. But he was no saint, he knew how to provoke her too. It’s what they did best. 

He moved away from the sink and tried to quash his anger, instead thinking of you and how much he had hurt and upset you. He hadn’t meant for it to get that bad, and he knew deep down that the reason he was so angry was because he’d brought it all on himself. He caused the incident by keeping his relationship with you secret. It hadn’t been on purpose, he wasn’t being vindictive, if anyone would believe him. He just… He had been selfish. He didn’t want to ruin anything because he was finally really happy after god knows how long. It was stupid in hindsight, but what was done was done now. 

He reached for Arin’s mug of hot chocolate and fresh waves of guilt and emotion hit him. She didn’t deserve any of this. He needed to be there for her, to push his own troubles away and put on a brave face because none of this was her fault. She needed to know that. Thankfully, the drink hadn’t grown cold yet, and he finished it off with some cream and mini marshmallows. He took one last deep breath and made his way down the hallway. Moping was no good for him. That’s what Chaewon always said. 

Arin looked happy to see him, instantly reaching out to him as he took a seat next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. He immediately felt lighter with relief. His daughter had always been his magical cure, and even though a cuddle wouldn’t make everything in his life right again, it certainly helped, and was very much needed. She asked where you were at one point, and unsure what to say, and feeling like shit for lying, he quickly said you needed to be somewhere. Arin probably didn’t buy it, looking dubious as a result of today, bus she didn’t say anything, asking instead if they could watch a movie. 

She wasn’t very talkative, and he didn’t blame her. Neither was he. He spent most of Shrek the Third lost in his own thoughts. As his anger slowly drifted away, shame replaced it. He’d been absolutely awful today and even if some of the things he’d said to Nana came from a valid place of concern, most were shouted for no reason other than frustration and hatred on his part. He was ashamed of himself. 

After the movie finished, Arin complained she was feeling hungry, so he left her to pick a new movie while he found something to cook up for dinner. He caught sight of the bowl of salad and his heart sunk, remembering the picnic outside. There was no salvaging it now, everything had probably spoiled in the sun, and as he waited for Arin’s dinner to cook, he went outside with a garbage bag, throwing away all the food you’d painstakingly prepared. It felt like he was throwing your relationship in the trash. He didn’t eat with that thought in mind, managing one piece of toast before it turned on him. 

At around 6pm his phone started to ring, vibrating in his front pocket and giving him a shock. For a split second he prayed it was you, but he knew he was being foolish. You needed time and if he was being honest with himself, so did he. He needed to concentrate on Arin tonight, as much as he…loved…you, his daughter’s wellbeing was the most important thing. If he could just make sure Arin was okay, then tomorrow he could concentrate on you and him. 

Pulling out the device he saw it was Nana. He suddenly felt very, very sick but picked up with a cautious hello. He was almost 100% sure she wanted to speak with Arin, the only way she could seeing as Arin was too young to have a phone of her own, but he was still wary, not wanting a repeat of earlier. 

“I want to speak to my daughter.” There was anger to her tone, and he knew her well enough to understand she had her guard up right now. She’d left his place upset and emotional, and that was two of the things she hated people seeing. Especially him. She hated being vulnerable. 

Seokjin sighed weakly. “Nana, come on, don’t be like that.” He hesitated, wanting to say sorry for today but the word wouldn’t come. Despite the guilt setting in, he was still pretty angry and frustrated himself. 

“I want to speak with Arin,” she repeated. “Will you let me?”

“Of course I will,” he replied. What did she take him for? 

He turned to Arin, ready to tell her it was her mom on the phone, but she was already waiting, her ears probably catching Nana’s name a few seconds previous. He smiled gently at her and passed his cell phone over. He tried to concentrate on the television as they spoke, not wanting to eavesdrop. Arin was uncharacteristically quiet as she hummed along to whatever Nana was saying, the occasional okay and I know slipping from her lips as she curled a lock of hair around her finger over and over again, but he understood why. Today had been overwhelming for everyone involved but especially her. She hadn’t seen or heard them argue in a long time, both he and Nana careful to hide them from her as of late. Today had been an awful mistake and the now a stronger wave of guilt was eating him up. 

After a few minutes he heard Arin tell her mother she loved her and then she hung up, returning the phone to Seokjin. He stretched over and placed the device on the coffee table, turning back to his daughter apologetically.   “I’m sorry about today, Arin.” 

She immediately flung herself into his arms, wrapping hers around his sides to hug him tight. He squeezed her right back, running his fingers through her hair gently. “Daddy was really angry, I shouldn’t have shouted.” 

“Mommy shouted too,” she reminded him. “She was angry that I called Y/N my stepmom.” Hesitantly she looked up at him, her eyes wide with worry. “I didn’t know it was wrong.” 

Seokjin sighed gently, trying to see things from Nana’s point of view. “It’s not a wrong word. It’s just a word that hurt your mother’s feelings.”  Arin looked a little confused by that explanation, and suddenly Seokjin felt the urge to be as honest as he could with her. She was still young, yes, but she wasn’t stupid. Far from it actually. She deserved not to be kept in the dark. 

“She… she didn’t know that Y/N is my girlfriend.” 

“Why?”

“I was wrong and didn’t tell her.”

Arin stayed silent as she mulled his words over. After a few moments she simply said, “I didn’t know that.” 

Seokjin ran a hand down her back, choosing his next words carefully. “Will you tell me what happened today? How mommy found out?”

Arin wriggled away from him to get comfier, sitting back against the sofa again. Seokjin copied, lifting his arm up so she could cuddle up to him. “She asked if I had a new bracelet and I told her Y/N had bought it for me last weekend when I stayed with her.” 

Looking down at her wrist now, Seokjin saw no bracelet and he guessed Arin had taken it off in a bid not to hurt her mom even more. She was such a sweet child, always thinking of other people’s feelings. 

“Mommy asked who she was and I said she was my stepmom – only because Suzie told me that’s what she is. Suzie has one too and it was fun because then we both had stepmoms.” 

Seokjin nodded along in understanding. “It’s okay, it was only a misunderstanding. But to use that word it needs to be discussed first, okay?” 

It was Arin’s turn to nod and Seokjin continued carefully. He was well aware everything was up in the air now so it hurt hearing the words that came out of his own month. “Right now Y/N is just Y/N. Before we use that word we have to make sure she likes it, alright? And mommy too.” 

“I didn’t know.” 

“I know you didn’t,” he comforted, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He wasn’t even too sure she knew what exactly the word meant. 

They both stayed silent for a little while before Arin spoke again. “You and mommy haven’t argued for a long time until today…because I said that word…”

“Hey,” Seokjin exclaimed softly wanting her to look his way. “We didn’t argue because of you. None of this is your fault, okay? It’s my fault and I’m really sorry.” 

She gave him a small smile and patted his head. “It’s okay, daddy. I still love you.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. He could always count on his daughter to cheer him up. “Thank you, Arin.” He kissed her cheek. “I love you too. Very much.” 

The new week started off badly. He had been foolish to think Mondays were something of a fresh start, foolish to think calling you first thing in the morning was a good idea, and as you told him you needed some space and that you’d call him once the week was over he couldn’t help but think the worst. You’d insisted that you weren’t mad at him, and you had no reason to lie to him, but there was no doubt you were upset… overwhelmed. That morning he’d woken up even more ashamed of the way he’d acted the day before, wincing as he remembered the way he’d lost his temper. He’d sworn that he would never let that side of himself appear ever again, but it was easier said than done. Nana had struck a nerve with the way she had spoken to you and it had been impossible to keep his cool. 

He felt deeply ashamed when he thought about how confused you must have felt watching he and his ex-wife hurl abuse at each other. Deeply ashamed when he thought about the way you’d found out things he had never told you… You were hurt he’d never let you know what triggered his divorce, and he understood why completely. It wasn’t like it hadn’t crossed his mind to share such a personal detail with you, it had, of course it had, he just couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Your experience with infidelity was the complete opposite of his. You had your heart torn to pieces by your ex-fiancé and he had his ego bruised… His marriage with Nana had already been completely over, he just didn’t have the guts to get out. She was correct, he was a coward through and through. 

But most of all he was deeply ashamed of his behaviour entirely. He had never meant to compare the both of you. He had never meant to use you to hurt Nana. It was extremely petty, such a low blow, and he didn’t know where it had come from. Rage had washed over him and he’d spat words that he couldn’t take back. It was the worst thing he’d ever done in his entire life, and despite the grievances he had with Nana, he regretted those words deeply. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her like that. It was shameful, and he felt horrendous for hurting both women with his foolish behaviour. 

Was there a happy ending after this? If Nana didn’t already hate him, she did now, and you were probably not too far behind. You’d seen him at his most poisonous, heard him use you to prove a point, found out things he’d kept from you, and learned he’d kept you a secret from his ex-wife. How embarrassed you must have felt… How confused… He’d made so many mistakes along the way, it was a wonder they hadn’t caught up with him sooner… 

He wouldn’t be able to bear it if you wound up hating him. Not when he loved you so much. He hadn’t even had a chance to confess yet, coming so close to it Saturday night but backing out because he was scared it was too soon. He’d made the decision there and then to tell you once he took you to Paris, getting swept away with the idea and the romance of it all, but now the regret for not professing his love that night was like a lead weight inside his chest. Would it have changed anything? Would yesterday have had a different outcome? 

And while he was regretting things, he regretted not letting Nana know about the relationship. Yesterday could have been avoided completely – maybe. 

The more he thought, the worse it got and by Tuesday he could feel himself spiralling. He knew the feeling all too well. Soobin had already worked out something was the matter. (His lack of morning shave a dead giveaway.) And that meant he was doing a terrible job at hiding his mood. He couldn’t have Arin sensing the same. She obviously hadn’t forgotten about the weekend and wouldn’t anytime soon, but he couldn’t make it worse for her. He needed to be there for her, as her father, not too busy distracted with his own misery. It was selfish. 

But he couldn’t suppress it all. He knew that was unhealthy. So, Tuesday night, once Arin was tucked up in bed sound asleep, he called the one person his former happiness had been neglecting for months now… 

“Seokjin,” Chaewon greeted, her warm voice laced with surprise. “Long time no speak.” 

He felt guilt immediately wash over him. “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.” It was stupid really, she wasn’t taking it personally, he could guarantee that, but nevertheless it was an emotion he was all too familiar with these days. 

Chaewon chuckled. “Don’t apologise for being happy and not needing me.” 

His heart twisted. 

She sensed his trouble. “Jin?”

He hesitated, looking down at the bottle of whisky sat at his desk. He was in his home office. “Something happened.” 

There was silence as his therapist processed his vague words before she pressed him gently, “Oh?” 

He took a breath. “Are you free to talk?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

“I’m sorry for calling you out of hours.” He apologised. “Don’t feel bad about billing me for this. I’ll even pay double.” 

“Seokjin, don’t be silly,” she told him softly.  “Let’s name this a friendship call. Now, what’s wrong?” She sensed the last bit of reluctance he was holding onto. “Come on, you can tell me anything.” 

He sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” 

“How about from the beginning?”

They spoke for an hour in the end, Chaewon listening attentively as he explained the weekend’s events. He left nothing out, or least what he could remember. He made no attempt to hide his wrongdoings or soften the story. He didn’t want to. He knew he had done wrong. She was sympathetic, but she didn’t mince her words when it came to her disappoint in him. 

After the argument he and Nana had gotten into just before Arin had moved in with him, he had worked hard with Chaewon to find a way to curb the anger he often felt when he and his ex-wife communicated. He thought he had been successful, but now he realised all he’d done was find ways to avoid it. He barely spoke to Nana unless he had to, a hello barely exchanged when she called in the evenings to speak to their daughter. A text shared to confirm when Arin would get picked up for the weekend, or one shared to cancel visits… He saw her even less. Jia, Nana’s PA and closest friend was the one who collected their daughter, and he knew it was because his ex-wife wanted to avoid him just as much. 

In the long term they had just been making things worse. That’s why last Sunday had been so bad. A build-up of every single frustration felt since the last time they’d seen one another, because no doubt Nana had her own list. It was a recipe for disaster. 

It felt good to confide in someone though, someone who knew him very well on a professional and personal level. Chaewon was amazing at putting him in his place so kindly. It was a gift really, and he appreciated it immensely. The older woman saw his negative traits but never judged him. She understood them and tried her best to help him with them. He guessed that was her job, but she did it so well it was hard not to see her as some sort of friend. 

That’s why when she asked to see him in person tomorrow he didn’t hesitate to free up his schedule. Truth was, he wanted it too. His mind was still clouded and he needed her insight. Her advice. He wanted a good night sleep too but he didn’t think that would be possible any time soon, no matter how much Chaewon tried to help him. Not when his sheets continued to smell like you…   

.

.

“It’s about time you both let go of the past.” 

Seokjin let Chaewon’s words sink in as he sat opposite her, nervously chewing on a nail. It wasn’t a habit of his, but it was somewhat of a distraction right now. A comfort. They should have let go of the past a long time ago. Maybe then they would have divorced sooner. Maybe then there would be less resentment…. 

“Arin is the one thing you have in common and you need to work together in order to be the best possible parents you can.” 

That cut his heart deep, a twinge similar to what he’d felt all week. Ever since you left. “I know,” he replied quietly. “It’s just…”

He couldn’t continue. Despite how he’d insinuated Nana was a bad mother, he didn’t think that deep down. They both loved their daughter equally, but that love was separate. It had been separate practically since she was born. Arin was missing their combined love, although she knew no different… 

“You need to let go of all that bitterness and resentment.” Chaewon continued. Words she had said fairly regularly for the last two years or so. “For your sake, for Arin’s…” But now there was a new addition. “…and Y/N’s.” 

Seokjin snorted. “Who said I haven’t scared her away already?”

Chaewon stare turned a little stern. “It was a shock to the system, anyone would need some time to process what happened.” When he stayed silent, she continued. “You have to make her see you’re trying your best to change things. You need to take responsibility for your actions.” 

“I will.” 

He wanted nothing more than to apologise profusely and answer any questions you had, but you’d requested time first and he was listening. He was just scared that time would work against him. He continued on, ignoring his deepest, darkest worry. 

“It’s not fair on her. She should never have witnessed all that, and it just drums in how unfair this has been to Arin her whole life.” Arin had been the witness to many an argument when he and Nana were still married. “I hurt the people closet to me because of my careless actions,” he concluded with a sad smile. Time after time. 

“And it’s not too late to change that,” Chaewon reminded. “Put a stop to all this nonsense.” 

Seokjin’s smile grew for a millisecond, feeling like a child getting told off. 

“Your marriage with Nana didn’t work out, that’s life. But you have a beautiful little girl together. That’s the most important thing, and it goes hand in hand with your own happiness.” She paused and then continued. “It’s very obvious that Y/N brings a great deal of that to the table.”

Yes, you did make him deliriously happy. He felt young again when he was with you. He felt invincible. Loved. He felt loved. 

“Concentrate on both of them – Arin and Y/N – and make some changes. Talk to Nana – civilly. Make this work and you can all be happy. I promise you that.” 

He had never heard Chaewon like this before, she was practically pleading with him. He let out a little laugh. “You make it sound so simple.” 

She simply smiled at him. “If you’re determined enough, it is.” 

.

.

“Mom wants to talk to you.” 

Seokjin looked at his phone outstretched in Arin’s hand with slight confusion. For the past four nights, ever since Sunday, Nana had spoken with Arin just before she had to get ready for bed. It was routine now, another avoidance, he exchanged a hello with her and then passed the phone on. Her tone less defensive as the days went on. Tonight had been the same despite his session with Chaewon this lunchtime. But to his surprise, maybe Nana was making the first move. 

He took the phone from Arin with a smile, not wanting to make her nervous. Usually he left her alone to speak to her mother, not wanting to pry or insert himself but tonight he was sat next to her on the sofa, replying to emails on his laptop. He hadn’t been listening at all, too engrossed with finalising details for an upcoming project, so of course it had come as a shock to find Arin passing the phone to him. 

“Hello?”

“I was just wondering if I could have Arin this weekend.” Nana totally bypassed a greeting of any kind, but she wasn’t demanding in her tone, nor defensive, it was just the way she was. She’d always been straight to the point, no time for pleasantries, and many years ago, when they’d first met, he’d found it highly amusing. 

“Um, of course,” he replied, taken back a little. He would be more than happy for her to have Arin. It wasn’t her weekend, but that had never bothered him before. He wanted Arin to see her as much as possible. It was only fair seeing as their daughter now lived with him. 

There was a brief silence before Nana spoke again. Had she been expecting him to say no? Surely not. But then again, after last weekend maybe her worries were valid. She found her bearings. “What time does she finish school? I’m taking Friday out, I’ll drive down and collect her.” 

Seokjin couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. Nana had not once collected Arin herself. “She finishes at 3.”

Nana hesitated, “Do you think they’d let her finish early?” 

“I don’t know… It’s usually only emergencies –”

“Never mind,” she stopped him. “There was just a bunch of things I’d planned, thought we could get a head start, it’s fine.” 

He glanced over at Arin who was watching him hopefully. It was obvious what their phone call had entailed. They’d been making plans for the weekend and Arin was visibly excited. He smiled at her. 

“I could always phone the school tomorrow,” he suggested to Nana. “See if it’s possible. Maybe she could skip the whole day?” 

Nana sounded ecstatic. Something he hadn’t heard in years. “Really? Do you think there’s a chance they’d say yes?”

He shrugged to himself. “It’s just one day, I don’t see why not.” 

Nana was busy thinking. “Maybe I could take tomorrow afternoon away from the office too… Pick her up at 3.” 

It was his turn to hesitate now, opening his mouth ready to suggest something. He knew he owed his ex-wife an apology, but over the phone just wouldn’t do. He needed to see her. He went for it. “Or I could do it for you? I can drive her to you.” 

“You would do that?” She sounded shocked. 

“If she’s allowed to miss a day then yes.” 

“Oh.” It wasn’t often Nana was left speechless. “Okay,” she agreed after a moment. “That would be great actually.” 

His attention went back to Arin then, who was practically vibrating with excitement next to him. His replies hadn’t given away much, but it was enough to tell her she’d be seeing her mother this weekend – and possibly skipping a day of school. He grinned at her and she clung to his arm. 

“Can I say bye to mom?” 

“In a minute, Arin,” he chuckled, amused by her eagerness. “We’re not done yet.” His next sentence was directed at Nana. “I’ll text you tomorrow morning and let you know what the principal said.” 

For the first time in god knows how long there was no malice or sarcasm attached to her gratitude. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 

He took it as a positive sign. Things were changing. They would change. 

The next day he dropped Arin off at school himself. The plan had been to head to reception and ask if he could talk with Principal Jung in person, but after saying his goodbyes and watching Arin meet up with some friends in the playground he began to get second thoughts. What if he accidentally bumped into you? He was on pins even in the parking lot. He wanted to give you all the space necessary and the last thing you probably wanted to see was him walking towards you in the corridor. At work. 

No, instead he drove to his office, phoning the principal as soon as he’d finished up his morning meeting. Hoseok – as he’d been told to call him – was completely understanding. Seokjin didn’t even have to whip out the sob story about Arin missing her mom dearly. Dirty tactics were always the last resort, and he could talk a good game, but thankfully his skill wasn’t needed today. Arin was all set to go this evening. 

The drive wasn’t a long one thankfully, just under an hour as Nana lived in the neighbouring city. This wasn’t the first time he’d been to Nana’s penthouse, the place she’d bought after they’d sold their family home, but the last time had been pretty explosive. Not nearly as bad as last weekend, but close. Arin had thankfully been waiting in the car for him that time, as he and her mother argued over where she should live permanently.  

Seokjin stood beside Arin in the elevator, feeling nervous for the conversation he wanted to have. He was never above apologising when he was in the wrong, but with his ex-wife saying sorry had never come easily. It was childish and he knew he needed to change, so today was the perfect test. If he wanted a clean slate he had to be as honest as possible. 

“Mommyyy,” Arin squealed as she opened the door to greet them, barrelling into her practically. 

Seokjin stood back as they hugged, a soft smile on his face. 

“Arin, I missed you,” Nana informed her, breaking away to take her bag. As she did so, she glanced at Seokjin, then back at their daughter. “Listen, darling, go to your room for a little while so I can speak to daddy.” 

Seokjin felt a little relieved. At least they were on the same page – potentially. 

Arin though, was unsure, looking between her parents as she spoke. “I don’t want to. What if you argue again?”

He felt his heart break at her words. “We won’t, sweetie,” he reassured, bending down to look her in the eyes. “I promise.” 

She still looked dubious, but then Nana took over, her voice light and breezy.  “We won’t be long, okay? Think about what pizza you want to order for dinner.” 

Arin’s eyes lit up at that request and Seokjin couldn’t help but chuckle. That pizza obsession of hers was getting dangerous. “Okay,” she agreed easily, waving to him before she skipped off to the furthest part of the apartment. 

Seokjin watched her leave before rising up again, tugging down the ends of his jacket. Nana was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face, but he knew it wasn’t anger she was feeling, so that was a plus. He thought back to Sunday, how mad they had both been, how upset Nana had looked as she’d rushed off. The guilt came back. 

He exhaled. He might as well just bite the bullet. “I’m sorry for calling you a terrible mother. I didn’t mean it.” 

Nana stayed silent but her arms wrapped around herself. It was such a vulnerable action, it took him by surprise. 

He continued. “I was just frustrated. I let things build up and exploded.” 

She stared him straight in the eyes, shoulders sagging a little but her voice was strong. “You know I love our daughter half to death.”

“I do,” he agreed. “I don’t doubt that.” 

She look relieved. It made him feel oddly sad. He had never wanted to make her doubt herself as a mother. He was a piece of shit. 

Still, she needed to understand some things. His point of view and where he was coming from. His frustrations weren’t all for nothing. They were valid. “But you have to understand I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces when you end up cancelling on her. It takes its toll.” 

Nana’s gaze flickered to the floor as she whispered. “I’m trying to be better.” Then she looked up again, her voice stronger. “I’m trying to free my weekends up. I’m trying not to do as much. I thought maybe I could even have her for an evening every weekday? I could pick her up from school, take her out for dinner. I know it’s a distance but maybe I could get every Wednesday afternoon away from work... Hopefully.” 

Seokjin was impressed. Nana lived and breathed work so to hear she was thinking about possibly taking an afternoon away every week was… It made him very happy. “She’d love that,” he grinned genuinely. “She misses you a lot.” 

Nana couldn’t help but smile too. “I miss her always.” With a slight chuckle she continued, “This apartment is so quiet without her.”

Seokjin looked down at his feet and grimaced slightly. He knew that feeling all too well. Living without Arin had been close to torture after the divorce. Everything felt so silent, the house gigantic and lonely. He hated the thought of Nana feeling the same way. “You can see her any time, Nana,” he murmured. “I’ll never try to stop you.” 

Despite everything, their grievances toward one another, they had and would always co-parent well. Arin was their number one priority and she needed both parents in her life. 

“I know that,” Nana nodded, “and I’d never try to take her from you.” 

It didn’t bear to think about, but he had to admit, sometimes it was easy for irrational thoughts to creep in when someone was left feeling insecure. 

“She loves living with you. She’s really settled at her new school, she never stops talking about her friends.” Nana continued, making small talk of sorts. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d done this. “She’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.” 

Seokjin nodded in agreement. She loved her new school, her new friends – her new life, you could say. That was easy to see. 

Nana cleared her throat, dropping her arms to her sides. “I apologise too. I was out of line turning up at your door like that. I was just so mad... so hurt.” She took a few seconds. “I wish you’d just told me.” 

“I should have.” She was absolutely right. “I see that now and I regret it. It was wrong of me to keep my new relationship from you. I wasn’t doing it to be vindictive. I just...” he stopped himself. Even though they weren’t excuses, they felt like they were. His reasons didn’t matter.

“You should have been the first to know because of Arin. If I was in your shoes, if it was the other way around, I would have been angry too.” He stopped and sighed at his stupidity. “I never meant to hurt you, neither did Y/N. She actually had no clue you didn’t know until that day.” 

Nana’s eyes widened with shock, before she looked regretful. “Yeah, that one makes me feel even guiltier. I shouldn’t have spoken to her the way I did. It was a shock to hear Arin speaking about a stranger like that. A stranger I had no clue existed.” 

Seokjin appreciated her apology, but he needed to make sure she understood something. “Yeah, about that, Arin really has never called Y/N her stepmom. We’ve only been together for a few months. I spoke to her about it and Arin understands that’s not the case. It was just kids being kids.” 

Nana nodded. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle, and I should have listened to your explanation the first time around.” 

He held her gaze. “I’m not trying to replace you, Nana.” 

If that’s what she was worried about, it wasn’t the case. He had never meant to compare the two women and he regretted it deeply. 

Nana’s lips quirked up at the side, her voice relaxed and at ease. “But eventually Arin will call her that.” 

His eyebrows shot up, understanding what she was getting at. “I don’t know,” he shook his head. His relationship with you was up in the air right now. He’d made one too many mistakes. 

Nana brushed him off with sway of her hand. “I guess I’ll learn to deal with it when the time comes.” 

He admitted defeat. “And I’ll have to do the same.” 

It was inevitable really. One day Arin would probably have two blended families and while he really wanted his to be with you, he didn’t want to get his hopes up right now. 

Nana snorted. ��Fat chance of that happening. I don’t have time to fall in love again.” 

He stayed silent, unsure what to say. He’d thought the same once upon a time. Until you walked straight into his life. (Or, more fittingly, until he’d reversed straight into yours.) Everyone deserved love in their life and he hoped that one day his ex-wife would find it again. 

She was looking over at him sadly now, eyes softening, and it was almost jarring to see her show this much emotion in front of him. “I did love you, you know,” she murmured before laughing quietly at herself. “I felt like I never told you enough, but in the beginning it was good, right?” 

“It was.” Seokjin hated getting nostalgic, in fact, he actively avoided it, but in this moment he let himself go. Ten years ago, he and Nana had fallen hard for one another. It was fast and exhilarating but – “We just…” 

“Rushed into things that weren’t meant to be?” She finished for him. 

He’d been so eager to marry before he was thirty, to follow in his parents’ footsteps. He wanted, no, needed, to become CEO.  He needed to build something he could be proud of, and having a family fit into that logic. He’d had tunnel vision, but it wasn’t all bad. 

“I can’t regret it though,” he told Nana softly, “because we made Arin.” 

“At least we agree on one thing,” she chuckled. 

“Yeah,” he smiled. 

It was strange speaking like this with one another. He couldn’t even think of the last time something similar had happened. They were always too busy at one another’s throats, not listening to what the other had to say. Now all that fight had gone. They were both exhausted from years of bitterness. Years of fighting. 

He didn’t want to fight anymore. 

Nana seemed to think the same. 

“I’m ashamed she had to hear us fight like that,” she said. “I apologised on the phone but…” 

“She’s okay.” He reassured. “I think she still thinks it’s her fault a little though. I’ve tried telling her it wasn’t repeatedly.” 

“I’ll talk to her over dinner.” 

“Good idea.” 

There was a pregnant pause before Nana chuckled. “This is the first time we’ve spoken so civilly in a long time.” She hesitated, wanting to say something else. He waited patiently, curious. “Maybe we should think about talking it out with a professional?” 

He raised his eyebrows. It wasn’t a bad idea actually, but then… thing seemed to be working out well on their own right now. “Maybe we should see how things go first? Now that we know how one another feels.” They weren’t out of the dark yet, but it was looking hopeful. “But if you think it will help then I won’t refuse,” he added, wanting to show how seriously he was taking this. 

She smiled slightly. “Okay, we’ll see how things go.” 

It seemed like the conversation had run its course then, and Seokjin shuffled, about to suggest he head out now, but Nana spoke again. “Are you okay?” She asked. “No offence, but you look like shit.” 

He laughed, actually laughed, at her words. He could always count on her to be honest with him. “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” he admitted, “but talking with you definitely helped.” 

She eyed him doubtfully. “I hope I haven’t ruined things with you and Y/N. I can talk with her if you want?” 

“No, it’s fine,” he shook his hand. 

She looked down, feeling foolish. “I guess I did enough damage.” 

He chuckled. “No, pretty sure I did that all on my own.” 

Looking up, her mouth opened, as if she was about to ask him what he meant but stopped herself at the last second. She wasn’t there yet, and neither was he. 

He took a step back. “I should go.”

Nana went to follow him to the door. “I’ll have her back by Sunday. Do you want to say goodbye?” She saw his nod and called for their daughter, her voice echoing off the walls. “Arin? Arin, darling, come here and say bye to your dad.” 

A few seconds later he heard Arin’s footsteps getting closer, she hovered by the entryway, looking worried for a second, as if she was expecting the worst but then she saw her parents smiling faces and relaxed instantly. 

“I’ll see you Sunday, okay?” Seokjin told her as she made her way towards him. He reached to pick her up, something she scolded him over sometimes because it was “embarrassing” now. She was getting older, he kept forgetting, because to him she would always be his little girl. This time however, she let him do so, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed his cheek. 

“Okay, bye daddy. Love you.” 

“Love you, too,” he grinned, kissing her back before he put her down.

Nana watched on with a grin of her own. 

Being home alone was odd. Seokjin couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on his own. In the week Misook was here to help out with Arin and the housework, then every other weekend she often dropped in when he needed her. When the house wasn’t occupied by his daughter or Misook, you were here with him, so it had been quite a while since it was just him. It reminded him of the past, when he’d lived here all alone. He never wanted to go back to that. 

He was happy to see Friday roll around. It felt like he’d been waiting all his life. Just one more day and he’d get to speak to you. The lack of communication was killing him. Ever since you’d began dating you’d spoken every day. It felt strange to be without that, like he was missing a part of himself. He’d been able to distract himself with work throughout the week, but no amount of distractions could really stop him from thinking about you. Stop him from missing you. Because he did. Terribly. 

The photo on his desk didn’t help matters either – the two of you smiling together on the fishing trip he’d organised over the summer – but like hell was he hiding it away in a drawer. 

It was probably best that Arin was with Nana this weekend. It gave you both some time to talk and sort things out – hopefully. He was praying so hard that everything would be okay, but he was getting ready to fight for you. Just in case. Of course he would listen to what you had to say, and respect it too, but if it happened to be bad news he would try his best to make you see how sorry he was and how hard he was trying to change. He couldn’t lose you. Not when he loved you so much.

You made him want to be a better man. 

.

.

He got home pretty late from the office, staying just to avoid an empty house and after having a quick shower and ordering takeout, he decided on an early night. This week had been mentally and emotionally draining so it was probably for the best. Plus the sooner he slept the sooner tomorrow would come. 

He’d just stepped out of the bathroom when he heard his phone ring in his sweatpants pocket. He pulled the device out automatically, expecting it to be Namjoon, because who else would be calling at this time? But to his surprise and utter amazement, he saw your name flashing across his screen. 

His heart began to pound embarrassingly loud and he rushed to answer, sounding a little breathless as he murmured your name.

“Hey, you,” your replied, and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice. His shoulders instantly released the tension he hadn’t realised they’d been holding. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to call tonight.” He heard himself say, cursing himself because it sounded so dumb. He was over the moon you’d decided to call. Of course he was. 

“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” 

“Of course not,” he rushed. “Well,” he laughed, “I was just about to head to bed.” 

You laughed along softly, the sound making his heart sing. “I was going to wait until tomorrow but Soojung is with Taehyung tonight and being alone means I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

He couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that slipped past his lips. It was so good to hear you say that. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week. Are you ready to talk? I’m willing to answer any questions you have.” He meant every word. 

“I’m ready,” you replied. “Should I come over? I don’t want to do this over the phone.” 

“I can come to you?” He suggested instead, not wanting you to go out of your way for him. “Arin’s with Nana until Sunday.” 

“Oh. Okay. Now?” 

“It’s not too late?” 

“No, it’s fine.” You sounded a little eager and that just made even more relieved. He’d been expecting the worst all along. “I really want to see you.” 

He smiled, happiness overwhelming him. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Really soon.” As he spoke he made his way into the closet, opening up his drawers to find a clean t-shirt. 

“Don’t speed,” you told him jokingly.  

“Of course I won’t,” he laughed. “I’m going to hang up now but I won’t be long.” 

“Okay, see you soon, Seokjin.” 

He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he said his final goodbye, his heart racing with excitement as he tore off his old shirt to put the new one on. It was a little creased, but it would do. He didn’t have time to find anything else. 

He needed to see you. 

He needed to be with you.