#svthsa fanfic

[stolenavalanche]

I remember losing my faith. It was little things that at the time didn’t seem to add up to much. But those little grew and festered in my mind. They tempted me to ask more questions, to do more research. 

My parents probably ask themselves every day where they went wrong. The answer is glaringly obvious, even if they don’t wish to admit it. They raised me to think for myself. All those years, they tried to shield my eyes from literature and media that was “ungodly.” They monitored my phone for years, trying to catch anything that might be too worldly. They were picky of who my friends were, scared I might be drug into hell due to the wrong people.

When you try to monitor a child as closely as they did, rebellion happens. How dare they try and tell me what to do and think and believe? It started off innocently enough. A random gay couple in a NCIS episode. One of my close friends coming out as a lesbian. Thomas Sanders being the gay icon that he is. Picking a library book prize titled Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. An lgbt+ fanfic. 

My parents were right in trying to control what I read. Books and literature in general is a gateway. But I couldn’t be the horse obsessed, mystery reader forever. SvTHSA, Bloom, and many other books, made me feel seen. Made me feel heard. Forever, I had felt guilty for the way I would look at girls and guys and everyone in-between.

“But who prays for Satan?” A Mark Twain quote that hit home everyday for years. I remember asking my father, “If the devil was to apologize to God and change and really mean it, would God forgive him?” My dad couldn’t answer that. Strike one.

I would lay in bed at night and sob, begging God to answer me. Those answers never came. It frustrated me to no end. So when I reached out to the universe, asking for signs from other pantheons and they answered within the week, it hurt. Strike two.

The breaking point was my gender. I realized I was trans. I hid it from my parents as long as I could, but they figured it out. It was one of the hardest conversations of my life. I got kicked out. I was told God doesn’t make mistakes. So why did I feel like one? Strike three.

I hated him. I still do. I try hard to not let that hate bleed into my interactions with his followers, but sometimes it’s hard. That bastard has allowed so much hate and filth into the world. Why should his followers, who primarily spread it, be cut any slack? 

“Not all Christians are like that.” Bullshit. Even the ones I think I can trust are hiding a knife in their sleeves. A sly comment from a coworker about supporting anti-trans laws. Blatant disrespect for pronouns disguised as “I’m trying, it’s hard.” It disgusts me and it’s so hard to understand. How can people be so awful? I recognize that I was raised to hate just like these people do. But somehow, I don’t feel hate towards the groups they tell me to. If I can change, why don’t they?

It’s because they choose not to. They enjoy hating others, they enjoy making people’s lives difficult. They are cruel and unkind and not what Jesus, the man they admire so much, told them to be. I make a better Christian than the majority of Christians out there. I wish I could cut all contact with them. The world would be so much better without their hate. But I can’t. 

Call it a hero complex, but I have siblings who still could be good. It’s my responsibility to help them see that the outside world isn’t full of evil. It’s my responsibility to try and guide them out of the hate they were raised in.  Maybe I can keep them safe, somehow. I care about them so much and only want to see them thrive. 

I don’t know how to end this. I never do. But I do know that this was a well needed vent. The world is cruel and unkind and that’s somewhat due to those trying to save it. I can’t change it, but I can hope. I can enjoy living whilst I have the chance. So I will. 

[spierfics]

Don’t Forget Where You Belong

@beeesworld prompted: Could you please do a story about them having some big fight, like so bad tears and all and then they make up later

Simon was unsure when they began to raise their voices but they were too invested in this argument to stop now. 

He was glad nobody was home because Simon knew his parents would have intervened in some way, ending this much needed conversation with Bram. Not that Simon liked it, not one bit, but he knew it was necessary.  

It isn’t easy for him to fight with Bram, who looks beautiful even when upset. But he lied, and that’s something Simon cannot get past. They’ve been delaying this for so long, it seemed like Bram hoped Simon would forget about it, but he couldn’t.

“It wasn’t a big deal!” Bram repeated, which once again felt like an arrow to the heart for Simon.

“Wasn’t a big deal?!” Simon yelled, trying not to strain his voice. “You’d filled out the applications Bram! Multiple applications, to places so far away I bet we wouldn’t even be able to call each other!”

“Now you’re just being over-dramatic,”

“So what if I am,” Simon said shakily, mumbling his next words, “At least I give a fuck about this relationship,”

Bram heard him anyway, and replied incredulously “I don’t care about this relationship? Is that what you think?”

“Well you don’t act like it, so what am I supposed to think?”

“Well if you hated the thought of being with me so much you should have told me, seems like I’m a waste of space to everyone in my life,” Bram said with his voice cracking.

Simon barely had time to absorb what Bram had just said that for a few moments he just stood there dumfounded, unsure what to say.

“Bram…”

“Just don’t, Si. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Bram said in an exhausted tone and for the first time since this fight began Simon noticed just how tired Bram looked physically.

His eyes were red, due to crying or lack of sleep, or both. The dark circles beneath his eyes were more prominent than Simon had ever seen. His posture was slumped, which was something Bram was always conscious about, and Simon wished he'd noticed sooner. 

Simon wondered for a second if Bram hated him, hated Simon for doing this to him. Simon prayed he could drop this entire argument with every ounce of his being, but knows in his heart he can’t. It’s about them, and if there’s something he’ll never let wither away is his relationship with Bram. He’d fight for them no matter what, even if the person he would fight with is Bram himself.

It barely made sense to Simon himself, but he was too stubborn to stop. But he couldn’t lie, it hurt like hell.

“We do need to talk about it, Bram.” Simon said in the softest tone he could manage without crying, “But not now,”

Bram nodded defeatedly, walking towards Simon’s bedroom door when a loud boom of thunder startled them both. It came from outside, and as Simon looked outside the window he realized that he had no clue when it started raining.

Simon glanced towards where Bram was, only to find him not there anymore. Simon raced down his stairs just in time to catch Bram at his front door.

“What are you doing?”

“Going home,”

“How?”

“I’ll walk,” Bram shrugged, “Or get a Lyft,”

“Don’t be dumb,” Simon caught up to him, “I’ll drive you.”

“Si,” Bram closed his eyes while shaking his head. “You don’t have to,”

“I want to,” Simon insisted, grabbing his car keys and heading to his car.

Simon knows why he’s doing this, he knows if he’s left alone he’s going to break down crying and after what Bram said during their fight he doesn’t want to leave Bram alone either.

—

Simon didn’t know it was possible for a passenger to sit so far away from the driver’s seat but Bram seems to be doing so. He was always within reach, always there for Simon to intertwine his hand with and now he seemed untouchable.

‘That’s how far away Bram was planning to go anyway’ Simon thought to himself and felt sick to his stomach again. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it either.

—

Bram hated the fact that he didn’t know how to talk to Simon. He supposed he learned this from his parents, and he knew exactly how their relationship ended up. Bram figured he was destined for that type of pain anyway, it was inevitable. What truly hurt him is how much he was putting Simon through, the last person in the world he wanted to cause pain.

It was his fault, Bram knew that. He had no idea why he hid those college applications from his boyfriend, but knew it was something that would upset Simon. In an effort to save Simon from pain, he ended up being the cause of it. That was all that Bram was good for apparently, and maybe this fight was for the best. Maybe he was saving Simon from the pain that Bram brought to everyone in his life apparently.

He should have closed the tabs. Exited out of the websites and not given them a second thought. But how could he? His dad had made one request, to think about it.

Bram knew what that meant, it was his father telling him ‘I’m moving to the other side of the world and if you still want to be in my life, try a university near me,’

He hadn’t exactly said those words, but that’s what it felt like. Bram wasn’t important enough to stay for. His dad hadn’t even discussed it, instead placed the weight of the decision on Bram’s shoulders.

So Bram thought about it, he filled out applications for every university that made seemed like a right fit but he couldn’t ever find the courage to actually apply.

And how was Simon supposed to understand that? How unwanted that made Bram feel, and how he didn’t have the guts to say no to his own father.

Bram felt his migraine return, thinking about everything that he’d ruined and decided to close his eyes for a couple of moments.

—

Simon couldn’t take it anymore, the gravity of what Bram had said finally caught up to him and didn’t want Bram to ever think that about him. Of course he wasn’t a waste of space, Bram was one of the most important people in his life and Simon felt like a failure of a boyfriend if Bram didn’t feel that from him.

He noticed Bram had closed his eyes, perhaps even fallen asleep so he slowed down his car and parked on the side of the street. Bram’s eyes were still closed so Simon reached over and softly brushed his fingers against the top of Bram’s hand.

Bram’s eyes shot open, shocked at the touch, but he didn’t pull away.

—

Bram looked at Simon with  confusion in his eyes, wondering why Simon was doing this. Weren’t they just yelling at each other less than fifteen minutes ago. But he didn’t want Simon to let go, it felt like Simon’s touch was grounding him and Bram held on for dear life.

Simon intertwined their fingers together, using that leverage to bring Bram’s hand closer to his mouth planting a soft kiss on Bram’s wrist, right where pulse was beginning to quicken.

“I’m sorry,” Bram said immediately, “I shouldn’t have hid everything from you.”

“I know,” Simon nodded, unable to hold his tears back anymore now that Bram had apologized, “And I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk, not when you weren’t ready,”

“You didn’t, I’m just a moron who doesn’t know how to talk,”

“That’s one thing you definitively are not, Bram,” "You don't know that for sure,” Bram said, trying to hold back a sob.

“I do,” Simon replied insistently, “It’s the one thing I know for sure. And that I love you,”

Bram breathed out slowly, almost letting go of the weight that he seemed to carry on his shoulders, "I love you too, Si. So much. And I wasn’t going to leave. Not really. I don’t think I could ever leave you.”

“I couldn’t leave you either,” Simon responded, feeling the tears stream down his face. “That’s why I was acting so crazy,”

“You weren’t. You were just showing how much you cared,” Bram said, reaching forward and wiping the tears off Simon’s cheek with his thumb, in hopes of comforting him.

It worked, Simon lay his head into Bram’s hand and Bram found himself whispering his apologies again.  

“I love you,” Bram repeated to him, hoping that Simon would never forget the fact. Simon replied by leaning forward and Bram knew what he needed. He knew because it was exactly what he needed too.

He kissed Simon with every fiber of his being, hoping that it translated everything that was left unsaid. He knew that he’d explain his side of things later, now that things were calmer, but he wasn’t concerned about any of that right now.

All that he cared about was the fact that Simon was in his arms, he was kissing him, and Simon wasn’t going anywhere. And neither was Bram, he was right where he belonged.

[onlyherefortheshowmances]

Y’all I have so many fic ideas floating around in my brain that I had to make a spreadsheet to keep track of everything. Oops.

If you’re reading either of the WIPs, please let me know what you think and what you’re excited for, etc.

Let me know which of the new ones you want to see next! I have a specific request for the Simon’s Nightmare fic and the Valentine’s Day fic is for the collection, so those will probably be up next, but everything else will happen in time. Thanks. <3

[shortie291]

Seriously one of my favorite things is interacting with authors of fanfiction and discussing the motivations and plot points of the characters they’re using.

[skateboardtotheheart]

OMG I would love to see a Simon vs. The Homo sapiens Agenda AU for JATP! They are both so close to my heart!

Thank you so much to everyone who's reached out or given me a like saying they'd enjoy a SVTHSA AU for Willex/JATP!! I'm really excited to write it, and I have lots of plans for it. I have no idea when the first chapter or two will be up, but I'm aiming to start getting it posted before Christmas!! I'll have the fic (Alex vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda) posted first on my AO3 account @isnt_that_wizard and I'll cross post it to tumblr as well.

To tide everyone over until I get it written and posted, here's the "cast list":

Simon Spier: Alex

Bram Greenfeld: Willie

Nick Eisner: Luke

Leah Burke: Reggie

Abby Suso: Julie

Martin Addison: Caleb (he's a teenager and is NOT blackmailing Alex to get a date with Julie, I promise)

Cal Price: Drumline boy (I'm calling him Dylan because I saw an author name him that in a fic and loved it)

Taylor Metternich: Carrie

Other characters that will make appearances are Flynn, Nick, Kayla, two OCs that are in some of my other fics, and other JATP characters!!

Thanks so much for all the support I've already received on this fic <3

[bonelessbloodfreak]

Hello everyone, I made this blog for fandom stuff, my main blog is @flower-king-18

So anyway, my name is Jack and I’m a genderqueer witch who is obsessed with things way too hard

I write fanfic and I occasionally do fanart as well (but I do more non-fandom related art)

My main fandoms (and ships) are listed in the tags

There’s probably more but that’s all I have for now

[simonsqier]

Be my once in a lifetime

Completely lost in his thoughts it isn’t until Eddie starts to feel unsettled, like more than usual, that he breaks out of his thoughts. “No, no, no, no”, Eddie thinks. He begins to list all the possible reasons he might be feeling this way, while only feeling it become heightened by the second. This isn’t just his average anxiety when with Richie, Eddie concludes that he is most definitely feeling the effects of weed.

Alternatively, it's reddie and accidental confessions while stoned.

Read on archive of Our Own here.

[notsomagicath]

Morning Bells Are Ringing

Bram loves it when Simon sings their daughter to sleep, but the irony of his husband singing Frère Jacques is not lost on him.

Read Here on AO3! 

Moodboard by the lovely @enchantress-supreme​!

[floralbfs]

leah from simon vs was just like *is angry and mildly homophobic towards as well as ignores simon for a while for not telling her he was gay (and only finding out when he was OUTED) while hiding her gayness from him for even longer*

[simonspierisapeanut]

Due to personal reasons I am going to go through the Spierfeld fanfic tag while hyperventilating uncontrollably.

[monkel-in-the-bathroom]

GUYS HEAR ME OUT

SO at school a few weeks ago, I wrote some stupid meme or something on my desk, and then when I came back to that class a few days ago someone had responded. We ended up having a stupid exchange for a few days on the desk

AND THAT GOT ME THINKING

An AU where Character A writes something absentmindedly on their desk while in class, but when they come back to their class the next day someone else has responded

This leads to them getting to know eachother on the desk (because apparently only they sit in that desk through all the classes idk) and it leads to an almost love simon type thing where they're too afraid to exchange phone numbers because what if they know eachother in real life and they're too scared to ruin it by knowing eachother so they just

Write notes on the desk

I cant tell if this is a really stupid idea or a genius one, but I'm really proud of it guys

[lovesimonfanfic]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Garrett Laughlin/Cal Price, Bram Greenfeld & Garrett Laughlin, Taylor Metternich & Cal Price, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier Characters: Garrett Laughlin, Cal Price, Simon Spier, Bram Greenfeld, Taylor Metternich Additional Tags: 5+1, 5 times 1 time, Unrequited Crush, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Mutual Pining, slight bullying, Happy Ending, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting Together Series: Part 1 of Garrett & Cal Summary:

5 times Cal is hopelessly crushing on Garrett and one time is crush might not be so hopeless after all.

[spierfics]

The Lane I Travel - Spierfeld Fic

yourefucked-thebitchofliving prompted: Hey I don’t know if you’re still doing fics but if you are could you pretty please do one where bram has an anxiety attack for the first time and doesn’t realize what’s happening but he’s scared? And like Simon immediately knows what’s up and comforts him? I would love if you could write this for me!! I love your fics❤️

Bram had no idea how his day could possibly get any worse but knew if he could just get through his last class and soccer practice he’d make it through the day. That was the only thing that mattered right now, making it through the day.

Though he didn’t have much to go home to either. His mother was out of town for the entire week, and the house had eerie loneliness to it. He’d ask Simon to come over, but Simon’s parents had subtly mentioned that Simon’s grades had been slipping due to the fact that he was always distracted.

Bram knew he was to blame for that. He was to blame for everything.

__

Simon didn’t have too much faith in his ability to pick up on small cues, as Leah had often implied. But he knew there was something wrong with Bram. He’d not been texting him as often, and perhaps it was the end of the semester and Bram was pushing to get all A’s. He understood Bram’s need to excel, it was one of the things he loved most about his boyfriend, but the fact of the matter was that Simon simply missed him.

They’d usually meet in the school parking lot on Fridays and Simon decided to leave rehearsal early to catch a little bit of Bram practicing. Simon knew that watching Bram playing soccer would settle his heart a little.

As he made his way to the empty bleachers he caught sight of Bram, and if Simon was honest, Bram seemed a little off his game. After a few minutes, Simon saw Bram miss a pass from Garrett and that set something off. Simon was off his seat and running on the pitch without a second thought.

__

Bram had no idea what was happening to him, all he could think of was the ‘C-‘ he’d just received in History and after that, he didn’t want to think. If he thought too much, he knew his emotions could take over, and that was not okay. Especially not at school. Not where every act of his was only thought in parallel relation to his sexuality. No, he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of defining who he was.

But missing that pass from Garrett had caused his coach to yell at him to “Focus or get off the field!” and Bram froze in place. Every thought he’d been trying to push aside this entire week came crashing down at once.

Not being smart enough to get the grades to get into college.

Not achieving the scholarships he envisioned.

Not making his parents proud.

Not being a good boyfriend to Simon.

There was too much around him and nothing at all and Bram couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know how to breathe anymore and Bram was sure this was what drowning felt like.

He felt a small pressure squeezing his forearm and when he looked up Simon was right there in front of him. Simon then put both his hands on Bram’s cheeks, cradling his face and told him to breathe deeply.

He even acted it out slowly, his thumb on Bram’s cheekbone, brushing it gently to the rhythm of his breaths.

Bram didn’t realize when, but he’d started to take in some air. He felt his shivering stop and his heart rate slow.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly to Simon.

“I don’t think so Bram,” Simon shook his head, his hands still holding Bram’s face. “Come on, I’ll drive you home,”

__

Once Simon was sure Bram was carefully tucked into bed and comfortable enough to be left alone for a few moments he went to the kitchen and made Bram a cup of Chamomile tea, just like Simon’s father would make for him.

He wasn’t sure if Bram would take honey, so he just decided to put some in any way since it tasted better with it.

When he walked into Bram’s room, his boyfriend was sitting up in bed with a worried expression on his face. “You didn’t have to do that,” he told Simon.

“But I wanted to,” Simon set the tray on Bram’s side table and slid under the covers next to Bram.

He opened his arms and invited Bram to lay his head on his chest, a swap of their usual cuddling position, but Simon knew exactly how comforting it was.

As Bram lay his head on Simon’s chest, Simon reached down to give him a small kiss on his forehead.

“I know how it can feel like too much sometimes,” Simon said to him softly.

Bram took a deep breath in, almost refusing to exhale and Simon felt like he was holding in too much for one person to bear.

“And even though you feel like you don’t want to stress me out with all that’s going on in your head, I’m still gonna be here to listen, okay?”

Bram let out a choked ‘okay’ in response and Simon noticed a tear fall down Bram’s cheek.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” Simon continued, “but you can tell me when you need me because I want to be there for you. Just like you’re there for me,”

Bram shifted his position, sitting up a little so that he could wrap his arms around Simon and bury his head in his shoulder. Simon could tell by his shaking that Bram was about to cry, and it took all of his willpower to not cry with him. There were times where he needed to be the one that was grounded, this was one of them.

He rubbed Bram’s back, allowing him to let go of everything he’d been holding back for what seemed like too long. Right now all he had to do was hold on tight. To make sure that Bram knew that if he felt like he was falling, Simon would be there to catch him.

[onlyherefortheshowmances]

Chapter 1 (from the beginning) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454224/chapters/61739257

Chapter 63 (just added) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454224/chapters/74329470

Title: [Untitled] Simonverse Continuation - Year 1

Rating: M (I swear to all that’s holy, I’m not going to write smut into this no matter how much I want to.)

Chapters: 63/?

Words: 102,053 (so far)

Work Summary:  This is an in-universe continuation of the book series from Simon's point of view. It picks up in Chapter 34 of Leah on the Offbeat (Prom). If you haven't read that yet, I strongly suggest it. Using book-canon not movie-canon as backstory. I just read the new book of emails (and am annoyed by how the dates don't work on a calendar). I will be including some of the things that happen in that book (including the "surprise ending" that I definitely saw coming), but the time line is a bit askew.

Chapter Summary:  Simon and Bram arrive at Bram’s dad’s house for a long weekend visit in early January.

[the-cabaret-gay]

y'all ever read so much fanfiction you can't keep track of what's canon and what's not?

i ask bc i remember reading somewhere that abby thought bram's full name was bramothy and not abraham but i cannot for the life of me remember if it's canon

[skateboardtotheheart]

New JATP AU fic idea

I have some in-depth, extremely thought out plans to write a Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda/Love, Simon AU for JATP, starring Alex as Simon and Willie as Bram. I'm really excited about this fic, which will be multi-chapter and based very close to the book plot. I'm going to write it either way, but I wanted to put it out there before I did to see if anyone would be interested in reading it!!

Leave me a response, like, or message in my inbox if you would like it! <3