#swear to god i really am getting trolled

[longeyelashedtragedy]

i swear there was a time when i used to write more normal footy fics, but now we're halfway through 2024 and i'm writing franko dissociating out of a hetero quickie till john terry interrupts by coming in with a cart full of alcohol and it's 5 in the morning. not sure if personal growth or villain arc

[writingreadinglurkingandsmirking]

Hold Me Down (Is This A New Start?) - Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: After a long, hard day of work you just want to go home and go to bed. But, when you get a persistent knock on your door from Rafe fucking Cameron. you know you’re gonna have a long night ahead. Letting him in, after two months of not seeing him, you fully anticipated a screaming match. But, you got something much different than you bargained for—much better too.

CW/TWs: brief angst, brief mentions of Rafe being on house arrest lol, feminine pronouns used, gorgeous/sweet girl/baby/darlin' as nicknames, toxic behavior, canon-adjacent Rafe, mean-ish Rafe, smut, piv sex, oral sex (male receiving), impact play, (not really) lowkey daddy kink, brat reader, dumbification, degradation kink, praise kink, overstimulation, breath play, unprotected sex (be safe I am nawt your mom gn), allusions to a pain kink for sure, mushy gushy sweet ending, not highly edited or reviewed

Words: 8.1k+

Note: 18+ MDNI, really just fucking don’t. I wrote this one in first person because writing in second person irritates my very soul. Uhhhh so this kinda came out of left field and I did nawt plan on writing this but here we are! But such is life! Anyways…back to regularly scheduled programming.

It had been a long day - too long. There was something exceedingly exhausting about living paycheck to paycheck that the average person didn’t understand. There was nothing quite as specific as the exhaustion that you encountered by overworking yourself day after day, week after week, month after month, all for nothing. Because that’s what this all amounted to. Nothing. Nothing extra at the end of the week to take home, nothing to do anything nice with. Just nothing. And nothing sucked the joy out of your day like knowing you’d have to get up the next day and do it all over again.

When I’d finally gotten home from a shift that didn’t end until almost the crack of fucking dawn - a good twelve hours after I was supposed to have gotten off shift - there was not a thing I wanted more than to sleep. Still, even as I sat on my fucking couch, my woes could not end. There was a loud, demanding knock on the door.

The first time I ignored it.

The second time I ignored it.

The third time, an annoyed voice accompanied the knock.

“Baby, open the fucking door,” came the snarl from the other side. I groaned and ran my hands down my face. I really didn’t want to deal with Rafe today. Not like that had ever deterred him before. “Baby, come on. Listen. Please. The cops are fucking trolling around outside. Baby, please open the door.”

I groaned and pulled myself to my feet, opening the apartment door. Standing there, looking at pitiful as ever was Rafe fucking Cameron. The bane of my existence. My more-or-less on-again-off-again boyfriend—though I’d sooner bash my head against the door than admit that. I glared at the ass who had done nothing but make my life harder since he’d entered it. Then, I stepped to the side and let him in. He stepped in and closed the door quickly, locking it behind him. He turned to me and pressed an absent-minded kiss to my forehead before going to sit down on the couch.

“You look like shit, darlin’,” he said. When he even had the decency to look up and notice I was there.

“Thanks,” I said dryly. I looked down at his leg. His ankle monitor looked fucked. “What the fuck did you do this time?”

“Just a little mod,” he said casually. “I needed to get out for a minute.”

“Why did you come here?” I demanded. “Did you stash more fucking coke in my house I swear to fucking God I will kill you. I am not catching a fucking charge for you, asshole.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why would I leave my coke with you knowing that you’d throw it out, baby? That’s just bad business. Besides, darlin’ the cops aren’t outside for me some loser is probably getting caught selling a few doors down again. And hey? It’s a crime to want to see you now, darlin’?” he asked, winking.

“No. But it is a crime to skip out on house arrest, Rafe,” I said blandly. “And I know damn well that you’re not here because you want to see me. I’m just convenient to you like fucking always.”

He rolled his eyes as if I were being the dramatic one. “What’s wrong now, gorgeous?” he drawled. “Always seems like there’s something these days, hmm?”

I clenched my jaw. “Fuck you, Rafe. Get the hell out,” I snapped.

Rafe frowned. Stood again and walked over to me. He placed his hands on my hips, refusing to leave. I, in turn, refused to look at him. “Look at me, darlin’,” he demanded. Reluctantly I did. “What’s wrong?” I didn’t answer. He brushed my hair back from my face and just kept looking at me. “Come on, sweet girl. Tell me…what’s wrong.” He smiled to himself when I still didn’t answer. “You know better than anyone I’m not going to leave until you tell me, baby…so come on…what’s wrong with my sweet girl?”

“Fuck you,” I repeated weakly, pulling out of his arms. I plopped down on my couch, curling into myself and closing my eyes. “Just fucking leave when you see the cops are gone. I can’t be bothered today.” The asshole had the audacity to laugh at my words. “Shut the fuck up, Rafe.”

Dramatically, Rafe sighed and knelt down on the ground in front of me. I felt him grab my knees and pull me to face him. I had no choice but to unfurl, otherwise, I would’ve fallen into him, which I had no interest in doing. So, I leaned back into the couch, trying to ignore the heat of his hand sinking into my cold legs through worn jeans. It was hard to ignore that. Hard to ignore any of him, really. And he knew that. That’s why he only waited through my stubborn silence for a few minutes.

“Come on, baby,” he hummed. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’m sorry I’m a dick, darlin’…you know I care.”

I laughed weakly, eyes still closed. “No. No, you don’t,” I said flatly.

He ignored my words and kept rubbing my legs. “It’s so fucking cold in here, baby,” he commented. “And your legs are freezing. Your heat not working?”

“No, it's working. It’s just too fucking expensive to heat this shitty goddamn apartment and I’m not forking over more money to the cunt landlord,” I said sharply, glaring at him. “Did you suddenly forget what life is like if—” I cut myself off, shaking my head.

He had the audacity to glare back if you could believe it. Then, he slapped my inner thigh. “I told you to call me if you needed help,” he hissed. He slapped my other thigh. “The fuck are you doing? What game are you playing at, baby?”

I pushed him away from me with my foot. “A game where I don’t need to rely on a man who is a fucking wannabe felon,” I snapped.

He rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “Newsflash, baby, you do need me,” he said, sounding way too smug about it.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I need a bullet to the brain more than I need you,” I sneered.

“That’s cute.” He continued on like I didn’t even speak in the first place. “I could give you that, if you want. But that doesn’t change anything about it, darlin’. You need my money, you need my cock, you need my love. You’ve said it yourself that no one gives it to you as good as I do. And I know you haven’t been looking which means you’re still as invested in this as I am. So.” He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “When I tell you if you need my fucking money to heat your stupid apartment because your ass is too stubborn to move in with me…then you fucking call me.”

“You are not my fucking father,” I snapped, pulling out of his tough.. “Like I said. Bullet to the fucking brain before this shit anymore. I’m sick of it.”

“I don’t know. You do call me daddy a lot,” he mocked. He smiled down at me, but there was hardly any warmth to it. “But, oh? You’re so sick of it, hmm? You want to be brainless?” He laughed. “Well, I can make you brainless without having to put a hole in your pretty little head.” He wound his hand tightly in my hair, pulling my face towards his while I sharply inhaled. “And you’ll remember exactly why you’re not done with me, gorgeous.”

I glared at him. “I haven’t seen you in two months. The last time I did see you, you called me a stupid, worthless cunt and told me that you never wanted to see me again. And you think you can just show up here and get me to listen to you?” I demanded. I felt my face heating with my frustration. “Just like that? You think you’re…you think you’re worth me listening to?” I laughed. “Like I said. Fuck you, Rafe. I deserve…I deserve so much better than this. Than you.”

There was a mocking pout on his face. He reached out and grabbed my face again, squeezing my chin. “You think you’re going to find someone better than me?” he asked incredulously. He let out a laugh. “And where do you think you’ll find someone like that?” I didn’t answer. I refused to give him the satisfaction. He chuckled, but then his face went serious. “I’m sorry that I haven’t seen you in months, darlin’. I’m sorry that I said I never wanted to see you again. I was pissed, sweet girl. I didn’t mean it.”

“Oh you never mean it,” I said, the sarcasm’s impact dampened by the tearful sound of my voice.

He moved his hand from my chin to cup my face. I hated myself for it, but I did lean into the touch. “Come on, sweet girl…don’t be like that, baby,” he said. He leaned forward and dropped a kiss to the side of my neck. “You know that I love you.” Another kiss, followed by a short nip. “I’ve been busy, darlin’. That’s all. I’m sorry. I should’ve called, sweet girl. I know that. I’m not mad.”

“You were mad,” I accused, glaring at him.

“I was mad, baby,” he said, deceptively calm. “I was…frustrated that you wouldn’t let me take care of you. I just want what’s best for you. But I’m not mad anymore.”

“Well maybe I’m mad at you,” I retorted, harshness still lessened by the teary voice and the way I leaned into him.

“That’s okay,” he practically cooed. He pressed another kiss to my neck then moved so we were face to face, just a breath between us. He smirked, eyes drifting down to my lips and then back up. “You can be mad at me as long as you want, sweet girl. Just as long as you tell me that you love me.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. “No,” I said stubbornly.

“Come on, sweet girl, please,” Rafe purred, stroking my neck with his hand lazily. “I love you, darlin’.”

“I love you,” I said, voice breaking. My eyes popped open and I felt the tears in them.

Rafe’s smirk didn’t waver, but his eyes did soften. He let out a hum and wiped a tear that slipped. “There’s my sweet girl,” he cooed. He leaned forward and pressed a long, languid kiss to my lips. “Let me make it up to you, baby.” Another long kiss—lazier this time. “Let me apologize for calling you names, baby.” Another kiss. “Remind you that you’re my special, sweet girl.”

I huffed. “Oh so you wanna fuck me and suddenly I’m not a stupid, worthless cunt then?” I spat, voice dripping insecurity.

Rafe rolled his eyes so hard I was shocked that his eyes didn’t stick in the back of his head. “You’re not a stupid, worthless cunt. You’re my sweet girl and you know it,” he drawled. “I was a little fucking high when I said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

I gave him a withering glare. “Oh and you’re not high now?” I asked even though I could already tell he wasn’t. He gave me a flat look and I deflated, leaning back, covering my face as I leaned against the arm of the couch. I sniffled. “Okay, I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean it.”

He chuckled dryly and rubbed my leg gently. “It’d be fair if you did,” he drawled. He squeezed my leg. “And it’s fine that it’s not fair, sweet girl. I wasn’t fair. So.” He grabbed my legs and lowered them both to the floor. He gently pried my legs open leaning further into my space, hands dancing up both my thighs now. “How about I be real nice and make it up to you?”

“No,” I said stubbornly, glaring half-heartedly down at him. I felt his hand toy with the waist of my jeans, dancing just over the button. “I don’t want you to.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow, unconvinced considering I’d begun to lean into his space more, opening my legs to give him more space to occupy, more space to get closer. “Oh?” he posed, tone almost mocking. “You don’t want to?”

“No,” I corrected, grabbing his hand, putting it back on my hair to silently prompt him to grab it just as he did before. “I don’t want you to be nice.” I glowered at him .”It’s been two months, Rafe. I need…”

He let out a low chuckle, eyes dark with quickly emerging lust. “Fuck, darlin’, tell me…what do you need?” he asked.

I blinked slowly, still looking right into his eyes, intoxicated by him already from such a short time together. “I need you to take care of me like you always do,” I said quietly.

Immediately, his hand wound tightly through my hair and he rose to his feet, forcing me to tilt my head up. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I looked up at him, my eyes wide and wanting. I bit my lip, eyes trailing slowly down his body, to his belt at my eye level, and then back up. He chuckled again, grinning down at me. He wound his hand a bit tighter in my hair making me let out a squeak as he dragged me just a bit closer to his body.

“You need me to take care of you?” he posed, tone just shy of mocking. “Need me to help turn off that gorgeous fucking brain of yours, baby?” He used his free hand to trail down my cheek, fingers briefly touching my neck and stopping there. “Need me to fuck you stupid, sweet girl?”

Taking a shaky breath, I reached out, hand loosely holding his belt buckle. “Yes,” I said breathlessly.

I reveled in the sudden, sharp sting in my cheek. “Try again,” he warned, voice raspy.

“Yes…please fuck me stupid, daddy,” I said, batting my eyes up at him. “I don’t wanna think anymore.”

“Fuck,” Rafe muttered, his voice raspier still, thick with lust. He chuckled and loosened his hand in my hair before dropping it. He took his shirt off and then knotted a hand back in my hair. “Okay, baby. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of my sweet girl.” He stroked my cheek gently with his free hand before moving it to his belt buckle and undoing it with ease. He then smirked down at me, inclining his head. “Well? Take me out, darlin’.” I glanced down at his open belt but he tutted, tilting my chin back up. “No, baby. Keep your eyes on me.” His request was one that was most easy for me to accommodate considering I felt like I’d die if I looked away from him.

My hands trembled as I reached forward, taking the belt off of him. I was ready to throw it to the side but Rafe held out a hand. Without even questioning it, I placed it in his hand. He then set it to the side and gestured with his head at me to continue. Which, I happily did. I heard him let out a quiet chuckle as I undid the button on his pants and brought down the zipper without breaking eye contact. I almost hastily pulled down the fabric until it sagged the rest of the way down. I raised my eyebrows at Rafe in a silent plea.

“What, baby?” he asked, amused, tightening his grip on my hair. I let out a weak whine and pouted. “What? You gotta tell me what you want, sweet girl. Use your words.”

“I wanna see your cock,” I responded, hooking my hand on the hem of the waistband of his boxers. I tilted my head to the side, jutting my bottom lip out further. “Please, daddy.”

He let out a dark chuckle. “Okay, baby,” he drawled. I hummed, pleased with myself, and looked down, prepared to take his boxers off. But, he tutted, turning my head up with his grip on my hair so I’d meet his eyes again. “Nuh, uh, darlin’. Keep those gorgeous eyes on me still. Don’t you dare even think about looking at my cock yet, baby. Just get it out.”

“But—” I began to complain before being silenced with another warning slap on the cheek making me whine and pull back slightly; not that Rafe let me get very far.

“No but, baby. You listen to me. Be a good girl,” Rafe warned, tone darkening. “You know I want what’s best for you, right, sweet girl?” I nodded through teary eyes, looking back up at him. He cursed under his breath at the sight, tightening and then loosening his hand in my hair once more. “Good girl, baby. Such a good fucking girl. Now, get my cock out. And don’t even look at it.”

I shivered at the order but complied. I reached and used two fingers to gently drag the fabric of the boxers down until they too gave way, falling down past his knees. Using every bit of restraint I had, I kept my eyes locked on his, refusing to look at his dick even as it hung directly in front of my face. Rafe hummed, his free hand moving from his side to wrap around himself, pumping lazily. I swallowed, biting my tongue as a reminder to keep my eyes up. A mocking laugh fell from Rafe’s mouth at the sight and I felt my stomach tighten.

“Oh there’s my good girl,” he cooed. “She can finally fucking listen, huh? So proud of you baby. Little slut that you are, I didn't think you’d be able to do it.” I let out a tiny whimper at his words, feeling a growing, heated pit of arousal low in my stomach. I shifted slightly, just barely able to keep my eyes from falling down. He chuckled again and pursed his lips. “How about you take your clothes off for me baby? Then I’ll let you look all you want at your favorite part of me.”

“All my clothes, daddy?” I checked. He nodded. I all but raced myself to do so. I whipped off the shirt I had on with ease and shimmied out of my jeans easily enough. Sitting there in my bra and panties, Rafe told me to stop and so I paused, looking up at him. “Yes, daddy?”

“Nothing, darlin’…just wanna look at you a minute,” he said, eyes dark with lust. “So fucking pretty, baby. God on fucking high, can’t imagine what I did to deserve such a blessing.”

“Stop,” I dismissed, blushing.

“Nah, baby. You’re a fucking twelve-course meal and I plan to have all of ‘em,” he dismissed, stepping closer and grabbing my chin. “And you aren’t gonna say some dumb shit like that again. We clear, baby?”

“Yes, daddy,” I murmured, feeling his thumb ghost up to trace my bottom lip. My breath hitched in my throat and he seemed to remember himself.

He pulled away and smirked down at me. “Bra and panties off. Let me see that pretty pussy, darlin’. Been missing it so much while I was gone,” he purred. I shivered at his words but peeled them off, shivering at the cold feeling of the air against my nipples and the cool fabric of the couch against my exposed core, quickly growing wet. “Fuck you’re so pretty. Look at you…all this…just for me.” He came closer again—even more this time—and his hand loosely went around my jaw, jerking my head up. “You are just for me, aren’t you baby?” I nodded immediately. He glared, his voice gruffer. “Words, darlin’. Or I might not be inclined to be too nice to you.”

“Yes, daddy,” I said breathlessly, wide-eyed. “All yours. Just for you.” I felt my heart beating rapidly in anticipation of seeing Rafe smile down at me. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?” he asked, hand still hooked around my jaw.

“Can I look please?” I asked sweetly, pouting up at him.

His lips quirked into a smirk and he narrowed his eyes looking at me, appraising. “I don’t know, baby. You think I should let you?” he asked.

“Please,” I said, pouting. “I just wan’ you. Want to see you. Wanna have you.”

“Awe with my sweet girl saying all that, well how could I say no?” he drawled, removing his hand from my neck to trail back and join the other in my hair. “Go ahead and look, darlin’. Take as long as you’d like.”

Ever so slowly, I broke my eye contact with Rafe, trailing my gaze down to his dick. Rafe’s confidence even as he stood bare as the day he was born was one of the things that had initially attracted me to him. But, looking at him now, lazily pumping his hand over his cock while he smirked down at me? I don’t think that I’d ever been quite so down bad for him. Which was…concerning, maybe? Pathetic, perhaps? But I didn’t care. At that moment, with his long, thick dick just hovering right in front of me, all I could think about was how badly I wanted him. Of how long I’d wanted him…of how long I’d waited.

“What? I don’t even gotta fuck you to turn that pretty brain off anymore?” he said, voice an alluring growl as he let out a dark sort of chuckle. “Got you so trained to take my dick you don’t even try to fight it, do you sweet girl?”

I shifted at his words, suddenly feeling my core flutter at his words, clenching regrettably—miserably—around nothing. His smirk increased tenfold at that and he stepped closer so that there was practically no space between us, not that there had been much before. Now, his cock stood proudly just next to my face. Again, ever so slowly I raised my eyes to meet his again. And the desperation must’ve been clear in my gaze if the smug, self-satisfied look in his were anything to go by.

“And this was supposed to be for you,” he hummed. “My dumb little baby won’t be able to think for herself and tell me what she wants when I get started, will she?” I let out a pathetic little whimper. “You just need something in that sweet little pussy and your perfect mouth, huh?” His eyes trailed down to my lips, briefly displaying the heated desire he was feeling before moving to meet mine again. “Tell me one thing, darlin’, okay? Think your cute lil’ brain can take that?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said, voice coming out breathy. I squirmed slightly, squeezing my thighs together to avoid doing something like grinding on the couch and making him stop this before it even started.

“I don’t have too much patience before I gotta get in that tight fucking cunt, gorgeous,” he drawled. “So…tell me. You want me to eat that pretty pussy? Or do you want to choke on my cock?” He grinned, sharp-edged and shark-like. “It’s up to you.” An aborted moan came out of me at his words. The answer for me, right now, at least, was obvious. I glanced down at his dick and then back up. “Nuh uh, darlin’. You tell me which one you want.”

“I want you to fuck my throat,” I whined, looking up at him wide-eyed.

Rafe chuckled, hands tightening in my hair. “I’ll give you a pass on not addressing me properly this once because you said something so sweet, darlin’. But don’t do it again,” he said, half-mocking, half-warning. I nodded eagerly. One hand released my hair. He pat my cheek and then held my jaw tightly between two fingers. “That’s my girl.” The possessiveness dripped off his tone. “Now be good for daddy and open that fucking mouth.”

My mouth fell open without much thought after that. He grinned as I left it open, tongue sticking out just the way he liked it. His thumb pressed down on my tongue, head tilting slightly to the side as he looked at me. I moaned at even that simple feeling, my body practically trembling with want for him. But, for a good few long moments, that’s all he did, slowly pressing his thumb more against my tongue. But, after a few moments, he drew it away, using his free hand to lazily pump his cock—still only half-hard—in his hand. I inhaled shakily, eyes looking at his heavy cock, knowing the weight and feel of it without even touching it.

“Mmm,” Rafe said, letting out a leisurely sigh as he jerked himself off in front of me. “You want my dick, sweet girl?” I nodded eagerly, tongue still shamelessly hanging out of my mouth. “You want me to make you choke on my fucking cock, baby?” Again, I nodded and he groaned. “You’re so fucking sexy, darlin’, fuck.” I watched with rapt attention as a bead of pre-cum leaked from the tip of his dick. I heard Rafe chuckle not a moment later. “Holy shit are you drooling, baby? Fuck, you really want this dick, huh? Well, I don’t wanna leave you wanting.”

Rafe used the hand in my hair to bring my head closer and anchor it in place. His other hand still held his dick that he was bringing towards my awaiting mouth. The second I felt the tip of his dick touch my tongue I groaned in appreciation at finally having something, feeling myself growing wetter and wanting. Already, with him not even having touched me yet, I was a mess. Rafe knew it damn well too. He chuckled, slapping his dick against my tongue making me inhale sharply then let out a tiny little whimper.

“Should I stop teasing you baby?” he said, voice measured, even, and entirely unaffected—as if he were in a business meeting and not getting ready to ruin my throat. “Should I make sure you lose your voice tomorrow now?” I nodded as best I could while ensuring that his dick did not fall from my tongue which just made him let out another low groan. “Alright, then, baby. You asked for it. Time for you to put that fucking mouth to work.”

I barely had the time to inhale before I felt Rafe’s heavy member settling against my tongue. I let out a breathy moan, reflexively hollowing out my cheeks and bobbing my head to take him further into my mouth. I moved my hands to touch him and he slapped them away.

“No fucking hands,” he grunted, pulling my hair so I’d look up at him before pushing me down to the hilt of him, nose settling against his pelvis. He cursed and I felt his dick pulse in my mouth as he looked down at me, eyes dark and wanting. “So fucking pretty when I’m stretching your fucking mouth open, baby. Look at you. So fucking good.” My core fluttered again at his words, clenching and unclenching while I felt myself starting to dampen the couch slightly the wetter I got. “Gonna fuck your throat now, darlin’.”

With the minimal warning issued, he thrust heavily, pulling out of my mouth almost entirely before thrusting entirely back in. I forced myself to breathe through my nose, relaxing before something unfortunate could happen like my gag reflex being triggered. I moaned around him, using my tongue as little as I could find myself able to when he started to consistently, aggressively thrust himself to the back of my throat. I whimpered at the feeling, grinding absent-mindedly against the rough fabric of the couch, letting my tongue trace along the vein on the underside of his dick.

Rafe caught sight of my desperate rutting against the couch and he let out a dark, slightly breathless chuckle without interrupting the pace of his thrusting. “God, look at my desperate fucking baby. What, is daddy not taking care of you fast enough? Fuck,” he grunted. “You wanna grind like a desperate, needy, brainless little toy? I should make you fucking get off of my thigh without me touching you?” My choked whine of displeasure at the threat made him let out another mean sort of laugh. “Don’t worry, darlin’. That’s gonna be for later.” I let out another whine at the promise then. “Yeah, baby. Gonna make you get yourself off on my leg and then I’m gonna eat your pussy so good. Gonna make you cum for me at least five times before I stop. I’ll fucking tie you up if I gotta, gorgeous. Gonna make my sweet girl so overstimulated she’s not gonna think ‘bout anything but my fucking cock…my fucking mouth…my fucking hands.” Each word was punctuated by a pointed thrust down my throat. “As if you think about anything else, my dumb little fuckin’ baby, yeah?”

When he pulled out of my mouth entirely, releasing my hair, I reflexively gasped in a breath of air, eyes wide and watering. I looked up at him. But, Rafe was still non-plussed by how fucked out I already was. He wasn’t even pausing, barely breaking even a bead of sweat across his gorgeous, obscenely perfect body. No, instead, he knelt down in front of me, one hand making its way immediately to my pussy and finding my clit like two ends of a magnet attracting to each other. He let out a low tutting sound, shaking his head at me as I bucked my hips against his hand before I could stop myself.

“So fucking sloppy, pretty girl. Is this all for me?” he asked, his voice both teasing and harsh. “Barely even done anything to you, baby. You’re just that much of a needy little fuckin’ slut for me, huh?” I let out a high-pitched keening noise and he hummed, wrapping his hand around my throat to make me focus on him even as he slipped two thick digits inside of me. “You want me, baby?” His voice was husky, rasping and his alluring eyes were locked intently on me.

“Yes, daddy,” I whined, voice weak around the whining and moans that I couldn’t help but release as he finger fucked me into oblivion. Even with so little direct stimulation, I felt my legs starting to tremble and my stomach starting to tighten, coiling and ready to barrel quickly towards release. Rafe could tell too based on the way my pussy was practically trying to swallow his fingers whole. “Please.”

“Please what, sweet girl?” he cooed, pretending like he didn’t already know damn well what I wanted.

“Fuck me,” I begged.

“Oh but you sound so pretty when you’re whining, gorgeous,” he groaned. “And I need you to be nice and fuckin’ ready for me. So I need you to cum for me before I fuck you.” My stomach tightened further just on the edge of sweet, sweet release that I’d been missing the past two months while he was missing on fucking house arrest. “Okay, baby?”

“Okay,” I sobbed, hips trying to buck even as he used his massive hand to direct my hips to keep the rhythm he wanted, the other tightening around the outside of my throat, making my eyes roll.

“Good girl,” he huffed. He paused his speech a moment, his fingers moving even faster, making me choke out a sobbing moan, head falling back until he squeezed my throat again in warning, making me lift my head. He then issued a command. A single word. “Cum.”

And who was I to disobey?

The coil in my stomach exploded into a mirage of light behind my eyes as they rolled back. I felt a slightly shrill shriek erupt from my mouth more than I actually heard myself. And all that I could think of beyond the veil and haze of pleasure was the feeling of Rafe’s hands, his skin so close to me. He supported my body as I slumped against him, both of his hands moving to rest low on my hips.

“Good job, gorgeous. You look so fucking pretty falling apart for me,” he encouraged, his voice an appreciative, warm grumble of affection. His hands ghosted up and down my sides. “You ready for me to fuck you, pretty little thing?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said, letting out a long, shaky sigh. I reached out, hands trailing up the planes of his solid chest, leaning my head on him to listen to his steady, calm heartbeat. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Of course, baby,” he said. I could hear the smugness in his voice but I didn’t care. He leaned me back on the couch and moved to get up. I let out a whine of dissatisfaction and grabbed his hand tightly, pulling him back towards me. He looked amused as he raised a brow. “I have to go get a condom, sweet girl.”

“No,” I said stubbornly.

“No?” he asked.

“Have you been fucking bitches on house arrest?” I asked, bottom lip jutting out.

He reached out, pulling my lip down and looking at it in undisguised intrigue. “No,” he admitted.

“Well, then you haven’t worn a condom with me before. So fuck’s sake, Rafe just fuck me,” I demanded.

Rafe’s eyes had a hardened sort of glee to them. His hand moved before I registered it and my head turned as his palm made contact with my cheek. Again, my core clenched around nothing. This time, I bit back the moan that threatened to escape.

“Who?” he warned, sounding all too happy to remind me of my place.

“Fuck me, daddy,” I reiterated, still with an extreme attitude. “Fuck me, don’t pull out cum in me, I don’t care. Just fuck me, daddy.”

“Drop the attitude,” Rafe said, a final warning.

“No,” I spat, knowing exactly where it would get me. You know, right where I wanted.

Instead of slapping me again as I’d first expected, Rafe tilted my head up with just his pointer finger under my chin, his shark-like smile back again. “Do you want to be punished, baby?” he asked, sounding all too eager. I offered no answer. He used his free hand and slapped me, harder this time. I couldn’t bite back the moan this time, or the way that my hand tried to drift between my legs. He caught my wrist easily to stop me. “Answer me or I’m gonna stop. I’ll walk out the fucking door, darlin’.” My bottom lip quivered at the thought, chest heaving. “Do you want a punishment, baby?”

“Y-yes, daddy,” I admitted after another stubborn moment.

“Well why didn’t you say so, darlin’,” he cooed sarcastically.

In a flurry of movement, Rafe sat on the couch and had me over his knee. My bare, soaked cunt made contact with his hard knee and I choked on a moan at that feeling. I barely had time to register the change in position before he landed his first hit on my ass. I yelped at the feeling, reflexively trying to squirm away from the pain, even as I felt a jolt of pleasure at the feeling. Rafe held my hips in place easily with one hand, keeping me firmly on his lap, and used the other to lay a hard slap against my ass, making me yelp again.

“That feel fucking good baby?” he grunted, slapping me again. I didn’t answer, a sharp, hissing inhale coming from my mouth. Another slap. Another whimper. “You should be fucking thanking me for this, darlin’. Disciplining your unruly fucking ass. Making you my good girl.”

“Thank you, daddy. Thank you, thank you. Please,” I whimpered, reflexively trying to squirm once more when his hand made contact with my ass yet again.

“Please, what, sweet girl? Remind you that you’re fucking mine? Oh, I am gonna, darlin’. This is just part of it,” he ground out. I could feel his rock-hard cock pressed against my side and I was torn between wanting it stuffed in my mouth and my pussy. Both thoughts escaped from my mind entirely as he landed another slap against my ass.

“More,” I ground out through clenched teeth, barely able to resist the urge to grind against his thigh and knee with the desperation that I was feeling.

“Needy little slut, you are, huh?” he asked, amused. His hands stopped their cyclical pattern of slapping my ass to rub the abused flesh for a moment. I felt his hand move between my legs more, teasing my entrance with his fingers. Naturally, I opened my legs for him. He chuckled at that. “Can’t wait to be stuffed with me, can you? Already brain dead to everything but me, aren’t you, sweet girl? You’re just my little plaything right now, aren’t you?” I buried my face in the couch and let out a groan, feeling his hand circling my clit again, lazily, not creating enough friction to do anything.

“Daddy, please,” I whined.

“Don’t worry, pretty little thing. I know just what you need to cum again. I decided I need two from you before I fuck this sweet little fucking pussy,” he grunted. With sudden and almost startling accuracy, Rafe slapped me again. This time, his hand made contact not with my ass but with my pussy, the sharp slap making me gasp and jerk from the pain. I let out a half-aborted scream and rocked back into his palm, panting from surprise. He openly laughed. “You didn’t think I forgot how much you liked that, did you, darlin’? Remember that real fucking well? So I’m gonna take care of this pussy just the way I know you need it.” I let out a breathy moan mixed with a cry as he spanked my clit once more. Again and again and again he did it until I felt like I was dripping sweat on my whole body and my pussy was soaked with my juices—the couch too for that matter. “Fuck me, baby, your pussy is so pretty all puffy like this. She’s just crying for me. You want me so bad your poor fucking brain can’t handle it, can it?” I let out a pathetic little whimper, unable to muster much more. “I tell you what, darlin’. You cum from me slapping this pussy and I’ll fuck you til you pass out if that’s what you want. You wanna do that for me?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” I gasped immediately, hardly even grasping the words just knowing that I wanted the pleasure that had been slowly building to finally reach its fucking crescendo.

“Good girl,” he said before unleashing a series of slaps to my pussy in a pattern that I couldn’t have anticipated if I were in his damn brain myself.

This time, as I tumbled over the edge of pleasure, I wailed, jerking against his hand. I collapsed against Rafe’s leg as the aftershock of the second orgasm washed over me. I gasped for air like I’d been drowning and I felt Rafe’s hand tracing up and down my back lazily. As I caught my breath, he placed a final sharp slap to my pussy making me let out a weak yelp of complaint. Without being too gentle, Rafe maneuvered me off of his lap and over the arm of the couch. He let out an appreciative groan and I lifted my head to look back at him. I was startled to see him lifting the belt. My eyes widened as I felt him wrap it around my wrists, quickly binding me.

“You’re not getting away from me, gorgeous. Not when I finally get to fuck my pussy again. You’re nice and ready for me,” he said, sounding almost absent-minded as he spoke to me. He grunted as he slid into me with a single thrust. When he bottomed out we both let out moans—his low and mine high and keening—and I felt my body shake. “Fuck. When you can feel your legs I’m gonna fuck you so hard in doggy you’re gonna not walk the day after. But right now I just gotta finish the job, baby. Gotta turn your fuckin’ brain off forever.”

With that, he started to purposefully piston his hips, holding my bound wrists behind my back for better leverage. I was nearly boneless, shrieking in pleasure as his hot, throbbing cock stretched me open and brushed against each and every nerve ending just right—at least that was how it felt. How he felt. His thrusts were deep and slow and pointed. I sobbed against the feeling, wanting to rut back into him to make him speed up. But, I couldn’t muster the strength. So I just let him fuck into me at his own pace and I felt myself starting to build towards another bout of pleasure—this bound to be even stronger than before if the stars already behind my eyes were anything to go by.

“Daddy, please,” I sobbed, not knowing if I wanted more or less stimulation, more or less pleasure, from him.

Regardless of what I wanted, Rafe didn’t say anything. He grunted out a noise of acknowledgment that I’d spoken then doubled down in his efforts to make me cum again. And when he wrapped his arm around my throat again, tightening quickly and entirely, it was over. This time, as he forced me to a third orgasm, I was actually sobbing, tears running down my face from the fucked up amount of pain and pleasure entwined in being so overstimulated in such a short period of time—especially after so long away from him.

“There’s my good fucking girl,” Rafe said, voice slightly hoarse as he slowed his thrusts to a stop.

He still hadn’t cum himself, his dick fully pulsing inside of me with how hard he was. I dreaded what that meant, even though I also fully anticipated what I knew would come. He gently undid the belt from around my wrists, releasing me, and then eased himself out of me. He flipped me around on the couch and I looked at him with big watery eyes.

“Please no more,” I said, tears slipping down my cheeks. “It’s too much, please.”

“Come on, darlin’,” he cooed, pressing kisses to my cheeks. “Come on, sweet girl. You can give me one more. Been missing my pussy so much. You know I need one more from her.” Another series of kisses, the last one a long and lingering, filthy one to my lips where his tongue entwined with mine and we both pulled back needing air. “Please, baby. One more for me.”

His hand moved down, gently tracing my clit, making me jolt. Already I was so sensitive, so overstimulated. But, the impossibly sweet and imploring look on his face? The hunger he had for me? It was impossible to deny.

“Okay, daddy,” I agreed, sniffling.

He leaned his forehead against mine, grinning. “That’s my girl,” he said softly.

He hitched my leg up over his hip, settling between my legs on the couch. He used his free hand to grip his cock, looking down at us. He gently slapped the head of his dick against my clit once, twice, a third time until I whined and he chuckled, reaching over to press a short kiss to my lips to shut me up. He ran himself up and down my slit over and over until I was shivering and he saw a tiny dribble of new arousal dripping from me. He let out a low moan of his own and then sank into me in one, hitching my leg up again so he could thrust as deep as humanly possible.

“There you are, gorgeous. There’s my beautiful fucking girl,” Rafe praised, pressing a kiss to each cheek, to my lips, and to my forehead as he steadily thrust into me. “So fucking perfect for me. So fucking good for me, baby.”

“You feel so good, daddy,” I said, eyes rolling back and then curling as he pressed down on the slight bulge in my stomach only present because of him. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Anything for you, baby. Fucking anything,” he grunted. He ground slower against me instead of thrusting for a few moments. “You don’t get to keep me from my pussy anymore, baby. I gotta fucking be with you.”

“Wanna be with you, daddy,” I babbled in agreement.

“Good fucking girl,” he huffed, pressing down on the bulge again making me whimper. I felt his dick pulsate again and I tightened around him habitually making his breath hitch. “You gonna cum for me one more time, baby? I’m so fucking close.”

“Yeah, daddy, I’m gonna cum,” I whined. “Please can I cum? Please, please, please?” I begged.

“Fu-fuck yeah,” Rafe stuttered. “Cum with me baby.”

And this time, as I fell across pleasure’s razor edge once more, Rafe fell with me. I felt as he came inside me, hot and deep. My eyes rolled at the feeling, almost addicted to the mere feeling of him being so close and intensely part of me at that moment. I held him without realizing it, nails digging into the skin of his back as I held him against me, ignoring the fact that I was trembling like a leaf.

“So proud of you, my sweet girl. So good for me, gorgeous. Love you so much. So good for me.” Those were the first things I was coherent of hearing again when the whooshing in my ears had faded. They were the sweet praise that Rafe was offering. He went to move—to pull out—but I held him to me still, almost wrapping myself around him like a koala to stop it.

“No,” I denied. “Don’t move yet.”

“Okay, baby,” he agreed. “I won’t pull out. Do you want me to hold you?” I nodded. He carefully moved us. I winced as he adjusted us so that I was sitting up and in his lap because it made him deeper for a moment still but as we settled that faded and I just melted into his chest. “I’m so proud of you, baby. You did so good.” He stroked my skin and hair for a moment. “I gotta get you cleaned up, sweet girl. Get you some water.”

“Not yet,” I denied again, eyes closed as I leaned against him, as much of my skin touching him as possible. “Take care of me in a minute.”

He chuckled. “Oh? You’re gonna let me take care of you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered absent-mindedly. “Fine. You can take care of me, Rafe. I’ll stop being stubborn.” I needed his help. He’d been right about that when he showed up, I was adult enough to admit that. And I knew that he loved me. That he meant it from the best place.

“Really?” he asked, disbelieving. “You’re gonna move in with me? Let me take care of you? Just like that? All I had to do was fuck you like that?”

“Yeah. That’s all you had to do,” I agreed, far too exhausted to explain the complex detail of it in truth. I let out a breathless laugh though, a thought occurring to me when I felt a cool bite of metal and plastic on my leg. “Well, as long as you don’t get arrested for busting out of house arrest.” I cracked open my eyes to give him a smile.

“Shut up, I'll be fine,” he muttered. His hands held me closely, tightly, possessively to him. “You don’t get to take it back. I get to take care of you now. To make sure you’re safe. You’re gonna live with me, sweet girl.”

“Okay, Rafe,” I agreed softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently. He leaned into the touch and I smiled. “I will.” I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, laying my forehead against his.

“I love you, baby,” he murmured, so quiet I could barely hear it.

“I love you too,” I replied, just as quiet, just as simple.

He smiled at that, the sight making his eyes go warm and sweet. “Alright, then, gorgeous. Let’s get you cleaned up and get the fuck out of here,” he said. His smile morphed into a cheesy sort of grin—the kind I rarely got to see. “Let’s go home.”

For once, I couldn’t disagree. And I couldn’t help but echo the cheesy smile. “Okay, then, Romeo,” I teased. “Let’s go home.”

[bloodweep]

JOHN DORY SMUT HCS

MORE

I NEED MORREEE 💃💃💃

ESPECIALLY THAT FOREST PLAY SHIT AHSGSYAHDH

Alsooo

BRANCH AS WELL 😭😭

WE LOVE MY BOY BRANCH FRFR

YALL ARE INSANE /POS

I DID A LITTLE MORE ON IT A WHILE AGO BUT GODS I CAN DO MORE

I can

I can

I CAN

I CAN

Oh my fucking GOD HE DRIVES ME CRAZY I HATE I HATE I HATE OMFG

I swear I swear I’m so normal I am I am

Gods id go insane if JD was real and did this jdjNJXJDJFNFNFNJFJ

Also warning kinda?? Knife/machete play (?) maybe blood play kind of??

Yeah,,, I’m normal don’t you comment on it /jjj

━━━━━━━ ✦❘༻༺❘✦ ━━━━━━━

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Forest Play: John Dory ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ ugh uses his machete to stab into the ground above your head when he finally caught you, stabbing it in all the way, gripping the handle in a tight grip

‗ ❍ how other hand grasping the back of your neck and pinning you down

‗ ❍ his fangs are running along your shoulder so softly before biting down, sinking his teeth in

‗ ❍ fuck, I know he only fucks in doggy in this mindset

‗ ❍ WILL use that fucking machete to cut your clothes off

‗ ❍ licks any blood off of you if his machete accidentally nicks you

‗ ❍ goddamn I know this man scratches your hips, back, thighs, ass

‗ ❍ loses the ability to speak really, just clamping his teeth around your neck or shoulder

‗ ❍ if you fall forwards, he does too, a hand pushing under and grasping at your neck to you still

‗ ❍ UGH cums in you so much, enjoys watching it leak down your thighs, dragging his claws up to catch the cum to push it back into you

━━━━━━━ ✦❘༻༺❘✦ ━━━━━━━

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Forest Play: Branch ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ oh this man has a full detailed plan that me makes you go over and over with just in case

‗ ❍ makes sure you know the lay of the land for months before bringing it up

‗ ❍ shows you how to climb things properly, how the hide, things like that

‗ ❍ gives you a head start so he knows it can be somewhat fair - well as much as it can be since he’s pretty used to the forest while you, not so much

‗ ❍ doesn’t speak, make a sound, just hunting you so so easily

‗ ❍ his hearing and sense of smell is a lot more heightened than the average troll because of this

‗ ❍ ugh when he catches you, he tackles you, hands protecting your head so you don’t get hurt before kissing you gently

‗ ❍ ugh ,,, ties your wrists together

‗ ❍ he fucks you so slow but rough, a hand on your chest to keep you pinned, the other gripping and clawing at your thigh

‗ ❍ breeding kink is extremely present during this time

‗ ❍ sometimes will take your tied wrists and pin them down

‗ ❍ bites along your chest and stomach

‗ ❍ tends to hide the bites so only you both could see them

━━━━━━━ ✦❘༻༺❘✦ ━━━━━━━

Dreamy sigh … primal play is just ,,,,,,,,,,,

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Little men in taps

Shoutouts to @paeliae-occasionally, @telltaletoad and especially @the-letterbox-archives for the idea for this one! Warnings for a brief, nonexplicit dirty joke.

*****

Encrusted with dirt from fighting the Jones twins, naked as a babe and utterly fed up with life, I peered up at my shower head. Not a drop of water came out. I twisted the tap left. Nothing. Right. Still nothing. “Mom?! The tap's clogged again!”

What was it, the third time this week? I was about ready to wrench out the shower head and throw it out the window. When Mom didn't respond, I took things into my own hands.

Unscrewing the shower head and its hose from my tap, I stuck an eye up the pipe. "I swear to god, if a cockroach or something crawled up here, I'm blowing up this house and moving in with Adrian."

I didn't expect a response, of course. Not that that stopped the response from coming.

"Hey, who are you calling a cockroach? I'll have you know that I come from a long, distinguished line of tap-dwellers, young man! And quit sticking your voyeuristic eye up my bedroom." Something long and sharp came straight at my eye, and I yanked my face away from the offending tap.

“What the fuck?! Mom, the tap's talking!” Immediately, I moved away from the offending object. Odds were this was a prank, courtesy of my idiot brother, and I made a note to get him back too.

“I'm not the tap, you imbecile! I am a man, and far more of one than you, judging by your lack of body hair,” came the incredulous reply.

I wanted to scream for my mother, but it seemed that she really just wasn't going to save me. Maybe this was just a bad dream, and I was going to wake up to a warm bed and a man-less tap. I sure hoped so.

“Well, boy? Cat got your tongue?” The voice paused. “Cos if so, you should probably warn me. Cats are nasty little creatures. One of them got my uncle Robert a couple years back.”

“G- Go screw yourself,” I told him. “If there was a cat nearby, I’d invite it right in so it can eat you and let me shower in peace. And by the way, you're the voyeur here, living in my toilet!”

“Did your mother not teach you manners? Show some respect to your elders, and don't you dare threaten me,” the voice replied, increasingly aggravated. “This is my home, and you should leave before I have to take action!”

I felt my lower eyelid twitch. “You're not my elder, whatever you are. And this is my home!” I turned the tap up as far as it would go. “I swear, I'm going to flush you out, you little bastard!”

From the noises coming from the tap, my plan was succeeding. “I demand you stop that at once! This sort of behaviour is unacceptable,” the little man in my tap snapped. “But if you want me out of here so bad, here I come!”

With a pop and a gush of water, the man flew out. He was covered in dark hair, wearing nothing more than a large floppy hat, and uglier than a troll in a bad horror film. He fell to a halt right before me, and pulled himself up before giving me a tiny middle finger. “Say, your dangly sure is tiny for a boy your size, eh? Maybe that's why you're such a whiner,” he sneered.

Oh, that was it. Without saying another word, I dove down to try and grab the little bugger, but my fingers closed in empty air. Prickly fingers pulled at my flesh like ants' bites, and I realised he was crawling up my leg. “Get off me, creep! Mom, help!”

“Aww, does the wittle boy want his mommy? Then let me live in my tap in peace!” The man was up to my shoulders now, skittering up. I slapped my back in the hopes of getting him, but he was too fast.

Soon, he was at my ear, clinging to the inner rim with hands like pincers. “Take this, boy-giant!” He crunched down on my ear.

I yelped in pain and rubbed my ear. This time, I managed to catch him, flicking him off my body and back onto the floor. Immediately, I raised my foot to stomp down, and the little man living in my tap scrambled away. 

“Alright, alright! I'll leave now,” he said, dodging my Stomp of Doom. “Keep your tap, you crazy bat. I'll bet that it's too narrow anyways.” 

With that, he leaped into the drain and out of my life. I stepped on top of the drain and ground down for good measure. “Stay out,” I declared, before turning my attention to the tap, which had been running the entire time. 

“Damn it, he made me waste all the warm water,” I muttered to myself. Well, there was nothing to do except turn it off, reattach the shower head, and enjoy my little-man-in-tapless shower.

I twisted the tap's controls, screwed the hose back from on, and turned the tap back on again.

Not a drop of water came out. I thumped the shower. Still nothing.

“Damn it!”

Taglist: @coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch

@tragedycoded, @finickyfelix, @urnumber1star, @ratedn, @ramwritblr

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west, @differentnighttale

@evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms, @xenascribbles

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @owldwagitoutofyou, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments

@unrepentantcheeseaddict, @the-inkwell-variable, @paeliae-occasionally, @an-indecisive-nerd

(Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[simplydannie]

@kais-va no angst as you asked lol this is one I did awhile ago but forgot to post it! (I scrolled through my account and I swear I didn’t see this one anywhere!)

The twins have been doing community service under the watchful eye of the Trolls. This time their service takes them to Vacay Island where a day off means a day in the sun… unfortunately, for Vennie, that’s doesn’t turn out so great.

It was really bright and really sunny day on Vacay Island. On top of that, it was very busy. Tourists have been swarming in left and right; tourists of all species.

On the beach near the water were 3 figures: two tall with green hair and pale skin, one little purple one no bigger than a tennis ball. Velvet wore a two piece golden suit and a large sun hat. Her long hair tied in a flamboyant ponytail, bangs curled around her forehead. Round sunglasses shaded her eyes and rose pink lipstick on her lips. Her brother was to her left. He wore golden trunks to match his sister and black round sunglasses. His hair wasn’t styled in his normal updo. Instead he let the water take its role, allowing his hair to sweep in a type of faux hawk near his eyes. He no longer wore his green lipstick to match his sister; this time he was his own man.

In between them lay a small little purple Troll sprawled out on a small beach chair. Green rectangular sunglasses blocked his eyes, a smile across his face. The three sighed in unison.

“This...” said Floyd.

“Is...” continued Velvet.

“Perfect.” finished Veneer.

The three lay with their arms behind their head as they soaked up the bright, smiling sun.

“...Wow! Revenue up 40%. Let’s get some more cheese melted for some more nachos! Let’s get those drinks up and ready. We got more coming in.!” Bruce’s voice trickled and boomed as he got closer to the trio. “Velvet, your idea of opening our doors to Mount Rageons everywhere was Sp-ec-tac-U- lar!”

A sly smile crossed Velvets lips, “I know, I know.” She beamed.

“Ahem.” Floyd coughed, lowering his sunglasses side eyeing her.

“I mean, you’re welcome. Anything I can do to help.” She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Maybe a little less attitude, but better.” Floyd beamed.

“I really don’t know why I am going through this behavior intervention. It’s really pointless.” Velvet said.

“I don’t know, you seem more barable now... fun even.” Veneer smirked. Velvet grabbed her towel smacking her brother across the face.

“And you’ve became a more smart ass than usual... I hate it.” She sneered.

“Love you too sis.” Her brother laughed.

“This conversation is going a lot better than most-oooohhhhh wow.” Floyd took off his small sunglasses and gasped towards Veneers direction.

“What?” Veneer gaped. Velvet turned towards her brother for a good look…. She then bursted out laughing.

“Oh my god- what?...What? ...WHAT!?” His voice began to grow shaky and nervous.

“ I don’t know, you tell me. Can I have some grilled cheese with the that tomato soup sir?” Velvet said between laughs. Tears began rolling down her eyes as the laughter continued. Veneer gaped at her clueless.

“What?! Tell me!?” He begged. Before Floyd could respond Poppy and Branch joined the trio… their eyes going wide when they saw Veneer.

“Omg Vennie!” Poppy exclaimed, “Like red is definitely your color but not like this!”

Branch joined Velvet in laughter…. Which made Veneer even more anxious… Why is Branch laughing too? He thought.

“Dude, have you ever heard of “sunblock”?” Branch asked with a smirk on his face.

“Duh! Floyd gave me some!” Veneer desperately tried to look around for something to see himself on.

“ Which one? I gave you two, and one was NOT sun lotion.” Floyd declared. Velvet continued laughing handing her brother her mirror.

“Priceless.” She sneered.

Upon looking at himself.... he saw it. His cheeks were flushed red. The redness flushed his face, neck, torso…all the way down to his legs. Velvet was right, he looked like he had jumped in tomato soup.

“No, no, no, no, no!!” He stammered. He reached for his towel and wrapped his entire body... well as much as he could. “No one said anything!”

“Well I didn’t get a good look at you until now.” Floyd said, “you better put something on before it starts peeling.”

“Oh Vennie, youll be fine! It doesn’t look that bad.” Poppy tried to say.

“I look like a freaking tomato, Poppy!” Veneer said.

He eyes the beach from side to side: it was jam packed with people. Anyone could’ve of seen and anyone was going to see if he walked out of there... a red glowing stick.

“Vels hand me your towel!” He demanded.

“You have your own!” She exclaimed.

“Ya but yours is longer. Covers more. Pleeeeeaaase!” He begged.

“I mean there’s not MUCH to cover anyways.” She smirked as she laid back closing her eyes again.

“Velvet.” She turned to see Floyd standing up right with his arms across his chest. He lifted one eyebrow giving her a stern look.

“Uuuuggghhh. Boys are much more drama queens than girls are yknow. Here moron.” She tossed him her towel.

“Thank you!” Attempting to wrap himself like a burrito, Veneer stood up and made his way toward the resort.

Leaving his sunglasses on, he twisted and turned, avoiding any eye contact that he could.

“Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through.” He said as he weaved his way around the crowd. ‘Almost there, almost there’, he thought to himself..….

OOF.

He accidentally ran into a Vacationer carrying a tray of food and drinks. Veneer tumbled to the floor loosing grip of his towel.

“Sorry my dude… whooooaaaa.” The Vacationers eyes widened upon seeing Veneers red glowing skin.… Everyone there gaped as they saw him….everyone.

“No, no thats my bad!” Veneer desperately reached for the towel and wrapped himself up again. “Uuuh have a good day!” He ran…. He ran straight toward the room he was staying in.

Once inside he went straight towards his bed, burying his face into his pillow…. He was NEVER going to show his face after that again.

“Stupid Veneer.” He told himself as he buried his face deeper into his pillow.

[traegorn]

As a non-American, I am utterly baffled at the amount of absurdities you get sent on an early basis. Why do you even bother replying to all of this trash? And while I know most of them are trolls, so many people - in this site specifically - really believe and spread this stupid revolutionary dream-like beliefs

I am Brazilian. My country has seen political horrors beyond anything the US has known. I mean it. The hard left wing people who come to insult you have no idea how good they have it. That they have the right not to vote on the perfectly pure candidate they deserve. I swear to god, what a bunch of lunatics

So I've been seeing pseudo-leftists like this since, like, forever. Like when I first went to college almost twenty-five years ago. It's always some middle class jackass who doesn't think the leopards will come for them too.

And you have to remember -- it's always do-nothings who bring it up in places like this though too. Because the people ACTUALLY trying to do shit are too busy... doing shit to harass people like me.

And there are probably a few Russian or Right Wing psyops thrown in, but that's only some of them.

[mixelation]

brainworms of the day: reborn au con shenanigans

i posted before about tori and kakashi going to a ninja fiction con like a tired older sibling taking his kid sister to a con. and i like the idea of them repeating this, because like. kakashi isn't super into interacting with fandom but he likes merch and he gets a kick out of seeing cosplays, and tori likes company and kakashi is pretty cill when he's not actively being a troll. so cons are like Their Thing and kushina gets very mushy over the idea of them bonding so obviously minato always gives them the time off

anyway i had some thoughts for shenanigans

thought one: minato canonically really likes icha icha and i think he deserves to have some fun. at first i was like "i don't think the hokage gets many vacation days, and surely if he DID take a vacation he'd spend it with his family?" but then i remembered he can teleport. minato takes days off all the time with the idea his assistant will just summon him back if there's a problem. he shows up unannounced in a pair of sunglasses

minato: i'm incognito :)

random passerby: the fourth hokage and hatake kakashi group cosplay? this place gets less and less original every year

kakashi and tori are unsure of this addition to their group because this is Their Thing. kakashi gets over it pretty quick because he does like getting casual time to hang out with minato, actually, but tori is annoyed because first of all. how is she supposed to behave normally* if her boss is here. secondly now everyone keeps asking her why SHE'S not in matching cosplay.

minato: do you want my cloak? lotta people in cloaks

tori: NO I DON'T, ACTUALLY

*everyone who knows tori would like to point out that the only change in her behavior is a 15% reduction in swearing.

anyway i am getting a kick out of imagining actual hokage and infamous ninja namikaze minato waiting in the same-day registration line. squatting in a two hour line to get into one of the big panels. taking photos with other minato cosplayers. holding back tears because there's a fourteen year old kakashi cosplayer with a sERVICE DOG ALSO IN COSTUME!!!!!!!!

thought two: sasori crashes a con because he wants to pass on intel about orochimaru or soemthing

tori: oh my god WHY are you HERE

sasori: because you're closer than deidara >:(

tori: no i mean, in public? in the crowded dealER'S ROOM?

sasori: who's going to notice?

(a group of sasoris in ugly wigs pass by)

anyway the true shenanigan-y part of this is that initially kakashi thinks a weird 25 year old man is chatting tori up. which like. yes? technically true? but kakashi thinks this is just tori falling for the wiles of a hot cosplayer and that he needs to intervene immediately because she's FIFTEEN, you PERVERT--

kakashi: hi :) who's this :)

tori, feeling her spirit leave her body: he likes my sasori fic

sasori:

sasori, in pain: yup. i. do. that's what this is.

kakashi: oh :) how nice :) then i'm sure you won't mind me standing here while you chat :) sharpening my kunai which are totally just props :)

thought three: i think in her later teens/early twenties, tori starts falling back on I HAVE A BOYFRIEND really frequently to get out of conversations. like in theory the card is for "a guy is hitting on me" but she'll also play it for "someone is talking to me and i don't want them to be."

in konoha this strategy works because even if you were just telling her the cafe is closing in five minutes, "but i'm waiting for my boyfriend, uchiha itachi :(" is enough to give this random poor employee pause. these words have meaning in konoha. however i think there's some Shenanigans to be had for her doing this without thinking about it at a con where context is very different.

man she's trapped with bc they're in line and he won't stop trying to get her to give him her room number: boyfriend? prove it.

tori, exasperated: (pulls out a photo she keeps on her)

man:

man: that's uchiha itachi

tori: exactly

man: .....you honestly expect me to believe that? you clearly just have that on you because you're a fan

tori: .....fuck

for bonus shenanigans repeat a similar exchange but it's at a kitty girl stabby ninja con so itachi is there and immediately wonders up afterwards with like. cat ears on.

man: (eyes darting back and forth between the photo and itachi himself, terrified)

itachi: the food options weren't great but i brought you some bread. did the line move?

man: (now looking around to see if anyone ELSE has noticed this)

tori, very blatantly taking his hand: no they just made us rearrange to stop blocking the hallway

itachi: i see

man: (FLEES THE LINE)

thought four: something cute

i don't want tori to be as well known as deidara/itachi in civilian circles, mostly because it'd be funny. but also i don't think she's as flashy as them and a lot of the stuff she does relies on her not being recognizable. and i like the humor of interacting with itachi/deidara stans and cosplayer who just don't recognize her. so there isn't much in the way of tori cosplay/fic/etc even when she's older and has her own Reputation among actual ninja. but okay. imagine. at the ONE con tori can't make there's a lone tori cosplayer. she's sort of haunting the place-- obviously socially awkward and shy. kakashi loses his mind. he summons minato. minato brings kushina. they bother this girl for like hours and low-key make her day even though it's also kind of scary?

kushina has to physically hold tori back from stalking her after she sees the photos. SHE'S JUST GOING TO BREAK INTO HER HOME AND SEE WHAT FANFICTION SHE'S READING NOTHING VIOLENT OR SCARY--

[catbountry]

One of these days I'm gonna get completely zonked and write out an entire fucking essay on why Mister Metokur sucks and I don't like him, but I feel like I could just say "he kickstarted the internet dumpster fire that was GamerGate" and have justified my position completely.

So fucking tired of orbiting communities that talk about internet weirdos/drama and seeing creators kiss the fucking ring of some guy just because he's got a voice for radio and surrounds himself with people who are stupider than he is so he can toss them aside as soon as they inevitably do some stupid bullshit that he can make fun of and feel justified in doing so, like Sargon of Akkad and Ethan Ralph, all while lamenting that internet culture has changed since the 2000's and people on the internet like furries now more than they like otaku.

Oh yeah and he's using James Somerton's suicide note as an opportunity to expose Hbomberguy for shit he did nearly two decades ago and shame him for "troll's remorse." If I didn't highly suspect that this is another ploy by James to manipulate people into feeling sorry for him, I'd probably be more disgusted, but it proves this man just operates on pure spite. Like yeah, I get it, overly-performative troll's remorse is fucking cringe, but you're on a podcast with Null making jokes about "stinkditches" and saying unambiguously racist shit while laughing (in a video conveniently deleted from YouTube from September 17th, 2022). And if it weren't for Jim's army of asskissers, I'd probably be way more open about this sort of thing. But who's even reading my Tumblr at this point anyway?

The first time I remember being alarmed by him was that video he did on that creepy pedo who looked at photos of kids in bathtubs, and he was in a call with this guy and some girl said pedo was friends with, and Jim lost his patience and called her a "hole" and to shut up. People kiss Metokur's ass over this video. I don't even know if any action, criminal or otherwise, was taken against the dude and it was just an exercise in lording not being a pedophile over some deeply disturbed guy who probably had some kind of mental disability.

I am pretty much always going to have a fixation on strange internet people, internet drama, and horrifying nightmare people given unrestricted internet access. This is a character flaw of mine. I have tried to view these people more fairly in recent years, though to be honest, there's quite a few of them that are pretty goddamn hard to feel sorry for. But I also recognize a lot of my fascination was probably, at least partially, trollshielding; if I join in with the people making fun of these people, that means I won't be a target. It was a survival strategy learned from childhood and I'm not proud of it. But I also can't do the full troll's remorse because some of those people I talked shit about really were awful people. That doesn't make it okay when I would be snarky and judgemental towards people that didn't deserve it. Trying to stop a pedophile or helping shed light on a zoosadism ring doesn't make you a good person because even bigots hate pedos and people that torture animals. Congratulations on having the faintest resemblance of a conscience, it'd be nice if you could show that same outrage on behalf of black people and trans women. But we know you ain't doin' that.

Also I swear to god if somebody refers to him as "daddy Jim" and they're not taking the piss I'm gonna give them such a pinch.

P.S. James is very likely alive, btw. Who could have seen the serial liar and manipulator telling lies and emotionally manipulating people?

[moonsheen]

fic writer meme

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 112. And thank god that doesn't include the REAL old stuff.

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount? 552,904 ...that's...both more and less than I was expecting

3. what fandoms do you write for?

...a...lot. Most recently? MDZS/SVSSS, Trigun (er, sorry for the weird stuff), and 13 Sentinels (PLAY 13 SENTINELS). Long term oldies but goodies? Kingdom Hearts, Devil May Cry, Overwatch, Supergiant games, Evangelion

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Recovery (SVSS, Qijiu --woah, that one pulled ahead in the last few months) Husband x Husband (Hunter x Hunter -- I did this as a yuletide treat to make up for defaulting one year and it's the gift that keeps giving) Minor Delays (SVSS, Qijiu -- wait really?) The Way Back Home (SVSS, Qijiu -- ....Qijiu nation represent. This one doesn't surprise me though, Chira did an amazing comic for it) Hold the Baby (MDZS -- okay this one was just where I was dumping the old twitter threads of a VERY specific Xiyao fix-it AU but you know what, thanks everyone)

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to. If I don't succeed it's often because life kicked my ass.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably On Your Six (Reaper & Soldier 76, Overwatch)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard mostly because all of my fic tends to be some kind of fix-it in some way to give someone an obscenely happy ending. If you had to have me narrow it down based on what my most blatant fix-it to some miserable canon character ending was? I'd go with either Happiness Exists (As Long As You Believe in the Possibility) (Qijiu again!), and the Recovery-verse as a whole, or maybe Abstraction White Rose (Revolutionary Girl Utena), because by god I needed Utena and Anthy to kiss and I MADE THEM DO THAT, A LOT.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Xiyao troll hit me once or twice and I got a few cranky dudebros who got mad at me for my Eva fic on a message board once, but nothing all that bad if I'm honest.

9. do you write smut?

...well, I've tried but the plot gets in the way.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

The first that come to mind are the MDZS/TGCF crossovers, but those are the same authors so I don't know that that counts. I DID write a very silly How The Grinch Stole Christmas/Nightmare Before Christmas short once upon an internet. It has since been lost to the great yawning of time and collapse of several social media platforms.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Someone once scraped the awful Naruto fic I wrote when I was like 15 and changed the names to make it a Samurai Champloo fic which, um. Why? But that was pretty damn funny in hindsight.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! In Russian, Chinese, and French. And I love every time it happens.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

My dayjob these days is cowriting with people. But on the fanfic side -- well, in short, yes. With the usual suspect (that would be Chira) and with my wife, who has once or twice dictated an entire story outline to me which I write in a day.

14. what's your all time favorite ship? Internet, I am old and you cannot expect me to pick one. Utena/Anthy maybe?

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I still need to do the last story for the A Troublesome Charge series which I SWEAR will happen it's just I had a literal baby.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Character voice. I love character voice and I am told I am good at it.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

To be honest if I don't know it I don't try. But I like bilingual writing when it's done well (see also: Everything, Everywhere, All At Once) -- but when it comes to fangirl Japanese or Chinese, I tend to leave that to the experts.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

mumblesBeastWars and thank god that was on a platform that crashed and burned. The Beast Wars fic I wrote for Yuletide was way better.

20. favorite fic you have written?

On Your Six, despite how I feel about Overwatch nowadays, I feel was probably one of the punchiest stories I've ever written. I would have absolutely used this story to audition to write for Blizzard's tie-in novellas if Blizzard hadn't...well, read the news on what happened at Blizzard.

The other one I'd probably say is Ghost Roads in my Troublesome Charge series (MDZS). I just feel like I nailed all the multiple plotlines and characters involved in that one and I'm super proud of it. I'm not tagging anyone because I have anxiety about this kind of thing, but please feel free to do this meme yourself if it crosses your dash!

[mrslittletall]

Choosing violence maybe for 13 and 25? For whichever fandom you have something to say about

I chose violence

13. worst blorboficiation Oh, how fun! I think we could do this for almost every listed fandom ^^ In Dark Souls it is probably Gwyndolin and I have to admit, I am not completely free of guilt of this, but I still fully lean into them having daddy issues and wanting the cycle to continue, I just portray them a bit more sympatethic in the matter, as feeling as if this is the only choice, what they were raised for etc etc. But I also see people write Gwyndolin as this innocent baby angel and not as the last child of Gwyn who is kinda behind the plot of the first Dark Souls. There is some pride in Gwyndolin and we should portray them accurately. Or not. Do what you guys want ^^ I just wanted to point stuff out. Hmmm, in Bloodborne... probably Micolash. I see a lot of people kinda... not leaning into Micolash being batshit insane. If you now point at me and say "Little, your Micolash is a quirky shameless innocent boy", that is Byrgenwerth era Micolash who is like 15 years old and hasn't even thought about the atrocities he will commit! I swear, if I would write canon Micolash, he would be a LOT different. I actually should write him. I never tried and he is so interesting! For Hollow Knight it is Grimm imo. He gets flanderized a lot. He is either the gay uncle or ship material but rarely, very rarely is he the Higher Being he is in canon. I admit I write Grimm as a major troll in my own fic, Off Balance, but he still is a god in this, following his own plan from the start. He never agreed to help PK from the good of his heart and while his plan is ultimately for the sake of another one, I still think I did him justice. I hope ^^ Elden Ring. I don't even have to think about it. Mohg and Morgott! Mohg oftentimes feels like his canon gets completely ignored and shoved under the rug (and if you do this, fine, I get the character makes people uncomfy). But I think Morgott is even worse. Yes, I like Morgott as well and I lean fully into his whole self hating and learning to love himself fanon, but... guys, sometimes I feel you forgot that he canonically killed dozens and dozens of Tarnished, had an order under his command that hunted Tarnished and pretty much is NOT a friend to your Tarnished in canon at ALL. Please, lean more into Morgott that is so into the grip of the Golden Order if you try to write him in canon. Okay and now I probably upset a lot of people. These are just my own opinions. You can blorbofy your blorbos as much as you want. I won't and can't stop you. I might just not read your fic or your comic, that is all. Alright, nobody is offended here, right? I am sure guilty of my own blorbofications ^^

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing Hmmmm... good question. I rarely look at complaints and when it comes to Dark Souls, it isn't a fandom complaint I am sick of hearing, but the "easy mode" crowd. I am not even AGAINST easy modes, but Dark Souls difficulty is so much ingrained into the lore that taking it away would be a really big detriment to the game. For Bloodborne it is easy. Gehrman haters. Please, leave the old man in peace. He chose a fucked up way to grieve someone that he either loved romantically or as a daughter. Canon never does say that he did anything to the doll! If all, the lore implies that he mostly ignores her. Hollow Knight. That PK and Radi are colonizers. Where does that idea even come from?! If you follow the lore, Radi was there first and then PK came and then they had a battle about followers. It wasn't even a bloody battle, nowhere in the lore does it say that countless bugs died or such, it was more so that PK managed to gain more followers and that led to the whole disaster. What they are both guilty of is supressing the void culture, I suppose, but there was also no mention of killing. The whole killing only happened once the infection came into place. Elden Ring. That is also a no-brainer. The whole people who are denying that Mohg is romantically involved with Miquella. If you see it as consentual or non-consentual, Mohg is completely infatuated with Miquella. Nobody who would want to have power would cradle a hand like that and speak that softly. Okay, I think I talked enough ^^ Again, these opinions are my own. If you don't agree with them, that is fine. I am not mad at you. You have a right to have your own opinions and headcanons, even though I don't agree with them.

[gooberschmoober]

I have a good feeling that I’m gonna get attacked for this but at this point I couldn’t care less. Despite not playing splatoon anymore, all of you guys are fucking delusional. And when I say this I’m talking about the hardcore Frye fans that are crying and pissing over loosing for like the sixth time in a row idk. Again, outside perspective I haven’t played any game since the second one but the amount of people I’ve seen threatening anyone who voted for Shiver and even destroying their own switches out of frustration is pathetic.

Honestly, I think this entire fucking fandom is pathetic and I’m glad I’m not apart of it anymore. Any of you extreme Frye enjoyers who can’t handle losing a competitive game please just don’t interact with me and try not to tell me to kill myself. I also find it very hypocritical how a lot of these people are calling anyone who voted for Shiver racist but make very racist remarks themselves. Such as this.

No words can describe how baffled I am. I think a lot of people here are forgetting that splatoon 3 (to my knowledge) takes results from all over the world unlike the first two. Since Shiver is really popular she’s constantly winning, it’s that simple. Now don’t get me wrong, when I was a fetus I used to get mad over my splat teams not winning but never to this extent???

I’m not gonna block you for voting for Frye or being a Splatoon enjoyer in general but a majority of you need to get checked out and touch some grass. This is sad and I swear to god if I get any comments calling me a racist or some shit I’m going ballistic.

And I also might as well state this, no I don’t hate Frye. Hell I quite like the character but cause of this fandom I’m starting to dislike her. A lot of you are ruining not only her reputation but the entire game and its community. Not every single Frye voter is being this outrageous may I also remind but it is a concerning amount.

TL;DR: Hardcore Frye fans are sad and need to find a life instead of crying over a squid girl

(Oh and I don’t care if a majority of this is trolling, that doesn’t excuse actual racism and harassment. Especially against minors)

[can-of-w0rmz]

Listen I seriously do NOT mean this whatsoever in a “haha so quirky so different” way, got it, got it, good, but I swear to god why is it that ever since I was like a young kid I feel like I’m living in another bloody world to the people around me, like I’ll talk to people and I genuinely am just flabbergasted by how they live life on the daily, and then they think I’m intentionally trolling them when I try to ask more questions. Like I rarely mention this BECAUSE I really don’t want to come across like I’m trying too hard, right, but like, it’s like, just so many random things that I do on the daily that make perfect sense to me that nobody else really seems to do, and when I try to logically explain exactly why I do them, or question them for their logical explanations on why they don’t, people just regularly get irritated with me, and I genuinely do not understand why this is such a consistent issue and nobody will hold a conversation long enough to analyse and get to the bottom of it. Is it just the people around me??? Or is it me????

I don’t feel like I’m going anything wrong, everything I do seems logical enough, but I just don’t get why it’s such a persistent issue that “some people are just different to you, stop asking me questions and leave me be” is just a very consistent thing I’ve been told my entire life. Even then, it’s not even like I only want to find out why people act how they act for personal benefit, obviously I’m genuinely interested in why they act that way as well because I’m interested in them as people and want to get closer to them by figuring out how they work. Does anyone else feel that way?????? It’s not that I’m always terrible in social situations, but enough that even if I’m going well initially I usually mess up at some point every time. Like I’m also wondering if I’m overthinking it? I don’t know??? Like I’ve said man I’ve been holding off mentioning this kind of thing for most of my life but I just genuinely wonder if anyone else feels or felt that way and if so what they were doing wrong???

Through either people doing weird things I don’t understand or never using enough words or being specific enough in their explanations of stuff when I probe them for it I always feel so weirdly distant from most people in society and honestly it’s well shit because I absolutely hate being alone. It’s like I know there’s people there, I just have no idea how to reach them and it’s like I’m playing a game of bloody Operation trying to reach them. I love people and I love being around people, I love learning about them, I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong and quite frankly after sixteen years I’m pretty bloody tired of it

[chakoru]

dream as actual conversations i’ve had w friends ,part 2 !

once again— includes cussing :D ㅤ ,text format

featuring ty track, johnny, and doie. this is actually really funny bc it fits so well yk? my friend did in fact send a pic of MY DOG ON MY BED and i am STILL genuinely wondering how the hell she got in my house

haechan: what the fuck

you: ??

haechan: i had a nightmare… haechan: i was getting married

you: oh my god you: someone actually learned how to love a beast😢? so romantic

haechan: shut up i’m storytelling

you: 🤐

haechan: so i’m getting married right

you: right

haechan: to someone i don’t fucking know haechan: and you’re there

you: aww you dream of me :(((

[ ten minutes later ]

you: FINISH THE STORY I WAS JOKING

haechan: anyways, you’re singing. haechan: it’s you AND jaemin. but he’s haechan: omg

you: he’s …?

haechan: twerking

jaemin: did it jiggle

haechan: no.. BUT you was throwin dem bones 😫🙏

jaemin: nice to be appreciated

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

jeno: *sends a picture of daegal* jeno: guess where i’m at 😉

chenle: ???? chenle: !!!!!!!! chenle: ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE chenle: JENO

jeno: 🤫 jeno: my baby’s sleeping

chenle: YOUR BABY❓❓⁉️‼️❓ chenle: WHO LET YOU IN chenle: HOW DID YOU GET IN chenle: JENO chenle: JENO chenle: LEE JENO ANSWER

jeno: me no hablo your language 🧏‍♂️

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

jaemin: WHERE is my mint hoodie

renjun: i last saw it in the hamper renjun: why? cant find it?

jaemin: no .. and it’s my comfort clothing 🫤

chenle: idk sorry

jisung: daegal peed on it

jaemin: WHAT

chenle: ACCIDENTLY ‼️‼️‼️

jaemin: YOU LET THAT WHITE BITCH SPRAY DOG YANK ALL OVER IT

renjun: she said she HATES me cus i’m a “male aries” renjun: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

jisung: she smart 💯

renjun: ????

jisung: wait what is everyone’s signs

you: i am a sign from god

chenle: gosh fuck outta here

renjun: i swear this place is haunted renjun: theres literally a monster in my closet

mark: probably just the dog

you: there’s a monster in these pants

mark: omg y/n shut up

you: made you look like a lover with a dollar sign

jisung: ?

haechan: they’re calling you a fucking loser

ㅤ

ㅤ

mark: jisung wants to be a tender

haechan: tenders are shit, he should try breasts

jaemin: bartender haechan, and stop trying to advertise chicken breasts jaemin: you haven’t even seen real breasts jaemin: you’re BITCHLESS

mark: i just got home mark: AND MY FUCKING FRIDGE KS LEAKING😭😭

haechan: id be dripping wet too if you were eating outta me everyday (rizzy wordplay)

renjun: ….you’re my moms favorite

chenle: no one is hooking up with an alpaca lookin troll be fr

you: don’t talk about yourself like that chenle 💔

taeyong: I SAW DOYOUNG HELP SOME ELDER LADY ACTUALLY CROSS THE STREET 😭

johnny: he’s finally hanging out with people his own age

haechan: what elder? himself?

you: so you saw two fossils struggling and didn’t bother to help??😟 shame on you

doyoung: this is why no one likes you guys.

haechan: is anyone still home?

jeno: no why?

haechan: i swear i heard someone upstairs but haechan: IM ALONE haechan: WHAT DO I DO

chenle: y/n and jaemin aren’t here

jeno: is it happening😵??!1

renjun: don’t even

haechan: nvm coast clear haechan: y/n is upstairs :) haechan: with jaemin :):) haechan: alone :):):) in his room :):):):):)

jeno: HELLO????!?!!?! jeno: FRIEND CODE IS A THING YA NASTIES

haechan: DAMN chill the walls r thin as shit

renjun: jaem i thought you knew better 😢 renjun: girls have cooties

haechan: would y’all be down to see my dick pics haechan: i need feedback :D

jaemin: send it

mark: AYO?????? mark: ?????? BRO

jeno: whip it out 😼

*sends pic*

mark: dude mark: why is it

jeno: bent?

jaemin: did you jerk off too hard or sum???? what happened 🤨🤨

haechan: STOP BE NICE TO MY WEE :((

chenle: be fr that shit is making illegal left turns

[blackmoonrose13]

-face palm- I swear to christ I am really getting pissed off at the hypocritical anti sex the internet is becoming. They marked my Twitter and my Patreon as sensitive...when it barely is. And like god forbid I draw some art and post it on insta and the lady has a wittle cleavage because no that is indecent. But yet models in your adds wearing basically a hanky and some floss is perfectly FINE!

I just...I hate it and just want to make art and have fun and not deal with trolling bs and other things

[aritamargarita]

no pressure bby but are u still gonna do those oneshot requests 👀

YES YES I AM. I SWEAR I AM! they are in my drafts im so serious. when i did the poll thingy (the one shots didn’t win ☹️) and im not exactly sure which request i should put up. i want to get to the point where my requests are just always open but it’s a bit difficult and i want to get these out FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!

anyway, enough of my ranting, here’s a all 8 of them,

jeff hardy x reader (love triangle with trish) THIS ONE IS LITERALLY ALMOST DONE LIKE ITS ON THE EDGE

undertaker x reader (nsfw) i am really struggling writing this to be honest because im not experienced LOL

brian pillman x reader (nefarious backstage shenanigans and trolling people) this one is in the works too

bret hart x reader (beef backstage but then we make out and it’s okay) this one is also on the edge of being done

kevin nash x reader (nash has a crush on reader and reader is painfully oblivious for the most part) i liked this one a lot but it is also still kind of halfway done

shawn michaels x reader (reader is jealous but shawn finds it pretty hot) literally this one is on the edge too

edge x reader (random stuff i decided to do headcanons of heel!edge x possible heel!reader) AND SPEAKING OF EDGE. i got him too

scott hall x reader (i freestyled with this on god, mootie requested this) i was on the dj booth so i did hcs for these too

[josiebelladonna]

so, a couple of nights ago i changed my pfp on instagram and threads to this:

a cartoon of alex that i made for hanukkah a couple of years ago and i had been getting a lot of comments from the pro-palestine side just from today alone, and they are always abusive (yes, i blocked most of them, i don’t need that shit). initially, it was just for hanukkah but seeing those comments gave me an idea. i’m keeping it up for a while just to make an experiment of sorts, to really show just how openly antisemitic everyone has become (full disclosure: i myself am not jewish but i have been standing in solidarity with them, because they’re quite literally sustaining the brunt of all of this).

you see that star of david and your mind immediately jumps into action.

so, putting this cartoon up as my pfp is an act of trolling. it’s meant to be an act of solidarity but it’s now something to test these people.

from what i’ve seen, just from today alone (and i’ve been busy all day and i’d rather not be around that because there’s literally better things in life than bickering with people, especially people who don’t listen), pro-palestine doesn’t listen. this side only cares about being right even if it makes them bullies. even if it makes them guilt-trip and/or scream at someone who’s not only on the side of human life but isn’t even jewish. you guys only care about one-upping everyone else and putting words in people’s mouths. you guys are incredibly disrespectful and judgmental. you have the gall to accuse jewish and israeli people of being genocidal (that word on its own annoys me just from how loosely it’s thrown around now) when you should really be critical of their dumpster fire of a government. “free palestine” is a useless phrase. it’s pointless. and the hypocrisy within this so-called movement is astounding and even horrifying, to the point i’m actually concerned for you guys, like… you need psychiatric treatment.

you also refuse to listen and learn. you also exhibit unreal amounts of abuse, shit that would get you banned in a heartbeat (and zuckerberg did very little and we all know that tumblr staff is completely useless). i wouldn’t engage with them just for my own sanity but all too often, i got replies that were often openly hateful, and i knew it was because of this drawing here. for example, i was just talking to someone on threads—you know just trying to console them because every jewish person alive right now is dealing with an ungodly amount of guilt—and i swear to god, the amount of people who (are still) jumping onto me and attacking me. i’m able to detach myself from it all because again, i’m not jewish just standing in solidarity, but what a crock of shit this whole thing is. and i’m pausing that app for a bit because it hasn’t even been a day and i have already seen enough. none of you are telling me anything new or insightful or something i haven’t read yet. it’s obvious that you don’t know the amount of nuance behind this because you’re all so quick to jump on the jews now (and failing to realize that you’re not doing anything for muslims and the palestinians, either. “free palestine” is pointless on its own, now you have to write its obituary. you made your bed, you have to lie in it).

it really does feel like you guys just want to bully and pick fights with people rather than stand for a cause, something that was inescapable in 2014 tumblr and holy smokes, we’re coming up on 10 years of that.

i am immersing myself with that drawing just to prove a point that we are currently in the midst of the horseshoe effect (the far left gets so radical that they’re indistinguishable from the far right and vice versa). pro-palestine is the new maga, and you guys will never admit to that, either, but i am witnessing it firsthand as a gentile. i’m also doing it to further build on empathy: i already did have plenty of empathy for the jews, but witnessing it has really given me so much more perspective. a small percentage of the human population—that is also decreasing, there’s only 16 million jews on earth right now (in 1948, it was closer to 17 million; in 1939, it was around 30 million)—and they’re taking the brunt of it all… why?

the jews i have interacted with are actually (and ironically) the complete opposite of pro-palestine, which has become toxic and cult-like (really, i don’t know how you guys function, and nobody is saying anything that gives food for thought, nobody). the jews i have interacted with so far are actually… sweet. friendly. tender even. a couple of them called me a mensch! and you might find this hard to believe but they want to see palestine in good shape. they want palestine and israel to coexist in harmony (i certainly do). it’s the equivalent of looking into the face of the sweet old lady down the street and spitting into her face all because her son gets kind of loud when he gets drunk. and you all wonder why you’re getting called antisemites. it’s all driven by antisemitism, and trying to justify it all by saying that palestine has it worse only makes me say, “start digging.”

and all i can think is, this is going to be your legacy. tumblr, gen z, some people my age (oh, my god, that’s sad, seeing 30-year-olds acting like they’re fucking 15), white people, people who “don’t have time to read”, tiktok, some poc, third-wave feminists, most of the lgbtq+ community (OH GOD), some academic scholars (phew, talk about sad), some politicians, pretty much the entire left wing and some of the right… this is your legacy. complicit and condoning and conjuring and justifying hate. screaming at the top of your lungs thinking you’re doing someone justice when really, you have become the evil ones. start digging. start digging your graves.

“you either die a hero or see yourself live long enough to become the villain.”