#system explanation

[pensarecool2]

Emotional Amnesia

This post is about emotional amnesia and how I experience it. The example I am going to give is random and simple. I don’t want to use an example of trauma, because I would rather this remain an explanation post vs turning into a vent post.

Let’s say, idk, Snail is fronting while we eat something very tasty with our partner. Then, Otto fronts. Otto remembers the action and event of having a nice meal. However, if there is emotional amnesia present for this event, then Otto no longer remembers how it tasted good. How it made us happy. How it was an enjoyable event. How we had fun with our partner. The memory is shared, but the meaning is lost.

The reason why this is disabling is because its not (usually) a nice dinner that is going to be stressful enough to cause this kind of amnesia. It can be traumatic, or serious situations. A serious or traumatic event can happen or be in progress, an alter switches out, and now we seem like we don’t care. Because we (or whoever is fronting) don’t. Because it doesn’t matter. We don’t understand why we should care. It can also make it hard to process past trauma. Obviously if you describe what happened; it is horrible. But for the alter who went through it (or more often the ones who didn’t) it can be difficult to process when you feel no connection to the memory.

[blue-mood-blue]

I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…

…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.

Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.

I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.

Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.

Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.

(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)

And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.

Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.

(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)

What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.

There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.

There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.

It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?

Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).

Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.

[sunderwight]

contemplating an SVSSS fic where Airplane transmigrates into Tianlang Jun instead of Shang Qinghua.

he wakes up before Tianlang Jun was about to walk into the HH Palace Master's plot, but too late to really do much about Su Xiyan's situation or the frame job. of course, being Airplane, he doesn't go face down the sects and get sealed under a mountain. but he also doesn't know what to do about the whole situation with Luo Binghe.

he was too vague in his outline and especially in his actual story. finding Xiyan or possibly some random washer woman who lives along the Luo river is a needle in a haystack situation, and he didn't ask for any of this to happen to him, so he just ends up leaving it alone. Tianlang Jun goes back to the demon realms with his confused (but relieved) nephew, and works on consolidating his power there and on thwarting the attempted incursions of Huan Hua Palace.

HHP has egg on their face because they riled up the other sects and got them into this alliance/ambush plot and then the heavenly demon they were supposed to fight didn't even show up. hasn't even been seen in the human world since. while HHP tries to spin it as them being so strong and formidable that they scared him off, the other sects feel like they're just blowing hot air and trying to take credit for something that never even happened. was that head disciple of theirs even involved with a demon at all? suspicious how she just disappeared, too. maybe it's a cover-up. no one's particularly impressed or convinced after the fact that HHP's claims are on the level.

which at least means that there's no concerted effort to wage a war or anything. Tianlang Jun meets a young Mobei Jun and Airplane decides to expend a lot of time and energy in helping the young prince consolidate his own power, so that's a whole thing. there's no system so Airplane's not obliged to preserve the plot, but he still knows it's out there and he's gotta skirt the line between giving MBJ absolute power on a silver platter and not setting MBJ up to be killed by the protagonist one day.

there are benefits and problems to TLJ mostly leaving Luo Binghe's whole journey untouched. on the one hand, he anticipates that everything around Luo Binghe will continue just like in the novel, so that's easy to predict. but on the other hand, that means he's in for some trouble when the blackened protagonist emerges all super-powered and unbeatable from the abyss and starts taking revenge on everyone who wronged him (a category which potentially includes the deadbeat dad who abandoned him for years).

so as the time of the immortal alliance conference approaches, Tianlang Jun starts to think that he needs to get ahead of this.

the most logical solution is to prevent Luo Binghe becoming quite as OP of a protagonist as he'd been the first time. since TLJ is plenty powerful himself (one of the things Airplane enjoys! as well as being very rich!) LBH really does need every edge he could possibly get to be a threat to him. so, why let him gain those edges?

this leads to TLJ's brilliant plan: just don't let Luo Binghe get thrown into the Endless Abyss! no blackening, no all-powerful weapon, no gauntlet of monsters to hone his skills, just a run-of-the-mill heavenly demon hybrid who could never in a million years take his old man in a fight!

TLJ decides he can two-birds-with-one-stone this situation by capturing Shen Qingqiu. then, one day if LBH does still make it to his doorstep, he can present him with his hated scum villain as a peace offering. like well son I know I abandoned you to suffer on your own, but plausibly I didn't even know you existed, so here, have your abuser to dismember in cathartic violence as you please! become a filial son and this old man will help fund whatever massive harems you want to build!

genius!

so, shortly before the immortal alliance conference is set to take place, TLJ goes and steals himself a peak lord.

Shen Qingqiu is... kind of different from what he expected? but oh well, it's been years since he wrote the novel and lots of characters have turned out somewhat different in person from how they were on the page, and the guy was always a mess of contradictions anyway. TLJ hands him over to his servants with strict instructions to keep him locked up, but not to harm or kill him (revenge is reserved for the protagonist, after all!)

Zhuzhi Lang, who witnessed the last debacle where his uncle took a sudden keen interest in a cold but beautiful human cultivator, makes entirely the wrong assumption (as do a lot of the palace staff) and figures that TLJ has just become more pragmatic about pursuing his lovers. Shen Qingqiu is given appropriate chambers (and restrictions) and word soon spreads that the Demon Emperor has captured a human cultivator to serve as his concubine.

so, this version of SQQ has actually been Shen Yuan since Luo Binghe joined the sect (and also doesn't have a system and thus had zero plans of throwing LBH into the abyss), and he is desperately trying to figure out what kind of changes he has unwittingly invoked here that Luo Binghe's father should be still alive, and free, and also kidnapping him to be his goddamn concubine?! that has to be a misunderstanding, right?!

Mobei Jun is mad. and jealous. and mad. but a concubine isn't an empress, so that job posting is still available, right? it better be, he has been waiting more than a decade for the official proposal!

TLJ meanwhile decides he's going to go secretly watch the immortal alliance conference just to make sure that the universe doesn't contrive to drop LBH into the abyss anyway, but weirdly enough, Luo Binghe isn't even there. listening to rumors, he gathers that uh... some stuff has changed? like Luo Binghe is head disciple of Qing Jing Peak? and apparently went crazy when Shen Qingqiu disappeared? except that some people think they might have eloped???

maybe he shouldn't get his rumors from Xian Shu disciples, those girls remind him of rpf conspiracy theory shippers from his old life. they're probably just way off base! hahaha... ha...?

well at least TLJ did a pretty good job of covering his tracks, so there's no reason for anyone to suspect that he captured Shen Qingqiu. or there shouldn't be, until he goes back home to find that every single demon seems to believe that Shen Qingqiu has been taken by him to be his lover. where did anyone even get that idea?! TLJ has been dutifully pining in his unrequited and inappropriate love for the young Mobei Jun for years now! whenever anyone asks he insists he's still mourning Su Xiyan! it's been a whole thing!

but oh shit, truth aside, there's no way those kinds of rumors have remained strictly contained to demon ears. both demons and cultivators have their spies after all, and even if they didn't, news moves along the borders.

sure enough, TLJ barely has time to try and dismantle this misunderstanding before a young Luo Binghe arrives on his doorstep, along with Yue Qingyuan and the very-much-still-alive lord of Bai Zhan peak, for some reason, all of them extremely pissed off at him!

[originalaccountname]

I saw this post again and now I'm thinking about the Fifteen arcade scene, in the context of Dazai being in the middle of a bet with Chuuya to make him be "his dog" (make him do what he wants), while the Sheep show up to make Chuuya do what they want (make him into their "protective sheepdog").

The main difference between Dazai and the Sheep is, when both are very much trying to order Chuuya around, the Sheep expect Chuuya to bend without much resistance, while Dazai expects Chuuya to bend despite his resistance.

For the Sheep, Chuuya bending to their will is seen as a necessary security. Chuuya is really the one protecting them all, they need Chuuya on their side or they're all lost. The fear of Chuuya turning his back on them is deep enough to prevent them from seeing his loyalty as unwavering. A Chuuya that does his own thing is a threat.

But for Dazai, getting to order Chuuya around is fun. It's not about safety or danger, it's about watching Chuuya struggle with his pride and dislike of Dazai and still obeying his orders because he has to, those were the terms he agreed to! That's most probably the same reason Chuuya agreed to the bet in the first place, to do exactly that to Dazai too. At that point they saw each other as entitled kids with too much power, getting to knock the other down one peg was a treat too good to pass up.

It's a small difference but it's so important. The Sheep were pretending Chuuya didn't have a will of his own to deal with the fear of their protector abandonning them, which ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dazai saw Chuuya and thought it would be funny to mess with him through a clear, established bet. That difference is the basis of their partnership and rivalry; no matter what happens, Dazai always sees Chuuya as a person, a partner, never a tool nor a weapon.

[cupiopika]

when i say cringiest i mean if the characters were real and you were around them and watching them flirt which one would make you want to vomit most. NO SHIP HATE!!! THIS IS AN AFFECTIONATE POLL <3

[arundolyn]

funny maid so true

[theminecraftbee]

Did you know bureau means desk in french

it means like, a chest with drawers or a desk in English too—albeit I think as a loan word from French, yeah! so bureaucracy means, if you guess from its prefix and suffix, something like “government by desks” or “government by drawers”, which is in fact what the word is meant to mean! while these days it is associated mainly with paperwork or red tape and has a negative connotation, at its ROOT it means a government that is run by a series of much smaller departments of appointed officials, those who then report to the higher officials (or, in other words, a hierarchical system of administrators). so the idea of a “bureau” being a desk or a drawer is correct, and it’s why that word now means “department” as well in English.

…which is to say yes I did know that.

…………although I still can’t spell it.

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

for drawing suggestions, can you draw L with a pigeon or near doing a peace sign w/ Matt playing video games beside him?

i have no idea what a pigeon looks like

[awful-roffle]

I love you tiny systems i love you with 2-3 people max i love you systems with You And One Other Guy i love you tiny systems

[bambiraptorx]

I have to wonder how Draxum came to the conclusion that putting ooze in mosquitos was like. The way to go. Like did he actually think that through? Did he genuinely think that using giant bugs to mutate people would be the best way to do it? Or did he just hyperfixate on mosquitos and then devote a decade of work to making them part of his plan for annihilating humanity

[cloudstarcats]

*at a peak lords meeting (that has somehow managed to dissolve into a gossip session-)*

Shang Qinghua: look I’d love to like do your paper work but I’m kinda busy being married my guy

Lui Qingge: your demon husband-?????

Shen Qingqui *half paying attention, busy doing his nails-*: your husband hasn’t let you come to any drinking hangs bro he doesn’t deserve you

Shang Qinghua: yeah but like- wait-

Shen Qingqui *looks up*: if he doesn’t treat you right by now, your gone

Shang Qinghua: I’m gone!

Both at the same time: Now go chop his dick off!

[antiendovents]

i just wanna make another post addressing the whole issue of the vent that told pro endos to kill themselves (link to original post here, link to response / explanation post here)

I just wanted to say that one; I do not condone harassment or telling people to actually kill themselves (I mentioned this in the tags of the original post but I'm not sure if I made it clear enough), by that I mean I don't support people actually going to pro endo blogs and telling them they should kill themselves and stuff. But, I also do not support harassing people for "thought crimes". Sure, it's not the nicest thing to wish death upon those you hate, but as someone with NPD who does this quite frequently in my head I kind of understand it. And I'd rather that person come here to vent their frustrations than say actually go around telling people to do it. You get me?

Two; this is a vent blog, made for frustration at it's core. We made this blog because endos made us mad. They made us frustrated and upset and hurt. So we made this blog for us and other anti endos to vent their anger about it, and that's what we'll allow. We have said multiple times we do not condone harassment nor do we condone actually telling people to kill themselves, but if you wish to come here and vent about it and about how you feel then you are welcome to do so.

And finally, about the delusional statement; I don't agree with that either. I don't believe delusional should be used as an insult but I feel it's important to recognise that they likely didn't mean it in that way or maybe didn't even know it was a insult.

I don't know, I'm not them and I can't comment on their actions or why they did what they did, but I can comment on why I posted it, which is because well, that's what this blog is made for. I'm sorry if you were hurt by their words, I can promise I didn't intend to hurt others, but this is a vent blog and while yes I do like to keep some things light hearted here it's also important to understand that well. As I've said. It's a vent blog.

[maudiemoods]

QUICK QUESTION regarding your beings made of stardust au, and I have no idea if we've been told this before BUT we know that sun, moon, eclipse and some others (lost to mukbang 20k special 💔) went on a space ship as a crew. But how common is it for these crews to exist? Do they serve some kind of cooperation or company or do they just fuck around independently for the shits and giggles until eclipse decided hmmm do you ever wonder what you taste like?

Eclipse and his crew work for the medical industry with a corporation that funds them! They gather resources that can be used as medicine! Most stardust! It's considered dangerous work so it's not too common (which means they get paid pretty handsomely) but there are other jobs that involve space travel that are a lot safer so space ship crews are very common. It's the work that's not so common. There are independent crews that are self employed but it's a lot of work! Have to find yourself, find your own employees, advertise yourself blah blah blah eclipse wanted to be self employed but because he's under watch he has to go through systems and all that. Idk if I explained that well djsjjs

I don't think I ever posted this info for sun and moon? They finished pilot school (they met there) then went their separate ways! They worked for a few years before either being laid off or fired! Eclipse and his crew started making a lot of money and wanted to upgrade to a bigger ship! The ship needed two pilots and since eclipse was their original pilot, he planned on only hiring one more. But he interviewed sun and moon (separately. They didn't know they were both going for the same job) and saw how much they could bring to the team so he hired both to be the pilots! He also chose them because he could tell they would get along really well! (He can evaluate people very well! It's one of his abilities!)

Ok, let me explain why eclipse is under watch djskjdjs when he was younger, he showed signs of being different. He was extremely intelligent but had an interest in a lot of morbid stuff. He was also very withdrawn from society and lacked the sentimentality that their species normally have. No big deal though! Their society has systems to make those like him comfortable! He was taught empathy and communication skills. He was told what was socially acceptable and what wasn't. For a long time, up until a few months before the incident with his crew, he was fine living the way he was. "under watch" really just means that he goes to therapy and checks in every so often. Eventually, he stops going and stops checking in. He lets his mind wander and he begins to let himself live by his own standards. Eventually, this leads to insecurities and paranoia. He loves his crew very much. They are his family. Soon, he starts to believe that the only way to keep them safe is to cannibalize them. He sees it as containing them within himself, so by keeping himself safe, he keeps his crew safe.

Also, wanted to go ahead and make this clear, they are not brothers in this au fjjwjdkaksisj definitely not in this au fjjsndjajsjs

[bigboobyhalo]

sorry people acting like forever is actually owning BBH by misrepresenting what his voting system idea actually was is kind if driving me insane. I DIDN’T LISTEN TO BADBOYHALO EXPLAIN THAT FUCKING VOTING SYSTEM 50 TIMES JUST TO BE TOLD FOREVER’S MISREPRESENTATION OF IT IS TOTALLY DEMOLISHING BAD WITH FACTS AND LOGIC

[worldsunlikemyown]

Would anyone. Would anyone be interested in a writing system for the enlightened language

[imabitchforjemcarstairs]

Jem working for more than a hundred years and still being a victim of inflation was not on my bingo card 💀