#tater toasts

[thesaddestjoysandthesmallestlies]

I’ve never posted pictures of me actually cooking, but I make really good scrambled eggs.

I’ve also made some decent pasta before.

[afterxxdark]

He has evening wood. A sudden thought came to mind and it will not leave.

[aropride]

i'm so fucking excited for breakfast i need a little treat so bad

[chewablepebbles]

Made a pecan crusted chicken with a bourbon glaze on a bed of garlic mashed taters and it was so so good. Green beans also

[honeysuckle-venom]

I hate PMS sooooo much

[lab-trash]

So, lately I've been sleeping downstairs bc my room doesn't get air conditioning and my latest medication has been making me overheat a lot easier— point is, my bed is empty.

So I decided to put my stuffed animal collection on it, which consists of Steven the Cow, supporting almost a dozen Bob Evans plushies, and my raccoon Karl.

I'm making a head for one of my plushies, whose head is removable for fandom reasons. And I paused before going to bed because... well, I needed to sleep.

But I couldn't sleep, so I decided to finish making the head. Not the face or anything, just the head. But the polyfill is upstairs, in my room. So before I sewed it up, I ran upstairs to fill it.

Yeah, I sat on my bed, in front of my little group of plushies. And I'm telling you, filling a disembodied head with polyfull in front of a dozen stuffies that almost all look like they're staring at you? That's a weird feeling. I literally said out loud "oh... this is awkward," when I sat down. Because it genuinely felt awkward.

I am left wondering though, is that the equivalent of giving birth, embalming, or something else completely?

[allfryam]

feeder for president 2: mike’s story

This isn’t a direct sequel to feeder for president, but it takes place in the same universe, about a year after the law was implemented. We follow our protagonist Mike as he has to bid farewell to his abs because he turns 18 soon.

Mike awoke groggily and smacked his ringing alarm clock that sat on his nightstand. He slowly pulled off the covers and sat up. Still in his underwear, he walked sleepily to the kitchen to get some breakfast. A glass of orange juice and 3 scrambled eggs ought to do the trick. He yawned and scratched his lower abs. He had been going to the gym consistently for about a year now and you could tell. His rock hard abs were complemented by his thick, muscular arms and lean frame. It wasn’t easy having this body though. Ever since the lard law was put into place, gyms had been banned and healthy food was a thing of the past. Mike was smart enough to keep some old weights and dumbbells hidden in his garage so he could still keep his nice figure. That was all going to change soon though. His birthday was in a couple months and the second he turned 18, he would have to throw this healthy lifestyle out the window.

Mike had a plan though. He was going to try to eat as healthy as possible and continue working out even after he turned 18. He figured he would just have to gain 25 pounds of muscle instead of fat. How hard could it be?

well, it was finally here. Mike awoke like any other day, but his throat was a little sore from the new implant they gave him last night. Instead of his usual small breakfast, Mike ate 6 eggs, sausage, and toast. He had downloaded a calorie tracker app to make sure he was eating enough. For breakfast, he ate about 1700 calories. Nice. He was on track to hit 5000 before the end of the day. He made himself a protein shake with about 500 calories and headed out to his garage. Still shirtless, he lifted weights and did various exercises for about an hour. His chilled frame was dripping with sweat by the time he was finished. It was the middle of July and the only air conditioning in his garage was a dinky box fan that hadn’t been turned off in years.

for lunch, Mike met up with his friend Hayden at a local diner. Hayden used to have a similar frame to Mike, but Hayden turned 18 back in April, and as you may expect, his abs were a thing of the past. “Nice gut, dude.” Mike teased. Hayden didn’t really seem to mind. Most people had come to terms with the new law, and being bigger was the new fashion standard. “I think I’m gonna shoot to gain 35 pounds instead of 25 this year. The extra thousand bucks would be sweet!” Hayden said, breaking the silence. “Those extra fat rolls will be pretty sweet too huh?” Mike said sarcastically. Hayden just rolled his eyes.

when lunch finally arrived, Mike was starving. He ordered the double cheeseburger and fries with a large sweet tea. 1200 calories. A bit less than lunch but he would be up to 3400 for the day after this meal. Hayden ordered a personal pizza, a basket of loaded tater tots, buffalo chicken dip, and a large chocolate milkshake. “Jeez dude. You’re really gonna eat all that?” Mike commented. “If I’m gonna get this extra cash, I need to start eating more. I’m only up 10 pounds since April.” Hayden replied. “This meal should actually already put me over the 5000 calorie minimum for the day. I had a pretty big breakfast.”

by the end of his first day being an adult, Mike had eaten 5300 calories. He could have eaten more but he didn’t want to overeat like Hayden. He was gonna turn himself into a fat slob eating like that. Mike was gonna stay perfectly fit. This stupid law wouldn’t affect him at all.

“Damnit.” Mike whispered to himself, looking in the mirror. It had been about a month since he turned 18, and he was struggling to keep up with his healthy lifestyle. Eating 5000 calories a day was slowly catching up to Mike. He pinched the small belly that was forming on him. If he flexed, his abs were still visible, and you could hardly tell he had gained any weight unless he took his shirt off, but Mike was devastated. He had abs almost his entire life, and just like that, they were gone. Mike didn’t have time to sulk in the bathroom though. He had to finish packing for college so he could move out tomorrow. He and Hayden were going to be roommates and Mike was excited.

the boys first week at school was rough. Well, for Mike. Hayden was having the time of his life. The unlimited food plan meant he could practically live in the dining hall. Hayden had gotten even fatter since Mike had last seen him and Hayden didn’t seem to care. “Look around dude. Everyone has at least a little bit of a belly. You’re like the only skinny one.” Hayden said between mouthfuls of pizza. Mike hated to admit it but Hayden was right. Looking around the dining hall, there was a guy in a Spider-Man shirt that looked like it was two sizes too small, a guy that had pulled his shirt up to rub his bloated gut, a tall guy that had unbuttoned his jeans to give his belly room to grow, and even a guy with no shirt at all. He had his round gut on full display and no one seemed to care. Was it really better to just let yourself go like that? Mike pondered as he ate his burrito.

Mike decided to listen to Hayden and try out this weight gain thing. It was already happening to him slowly, why not speed it up? He spent the whole day eating whatever he wanted, not caring about his body at all. And to his surprise, it felt incredible! Eating stress free was the best thing he’s ever done! Tallying his calories at the end of the day, Mike discovered he ate over 7000 calories! He didn’t care though. If he was gonna be forced to gain weight, why not have fun while doing it?

over the next few weeks, Mike and Hayden continued to grow. They would eat constantly. One day they decided to camp out in the dining hall and eat all day. They got there bright and early at 6 AM when they opened and ordered a huge breakfast. Waffles, pancakes, French toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and more. They scarfed it down and rubbed their bellies while talking to each other. “Looks like Mr. Perfect is starting to fall apart.” Hayden teased, poking the sliver of belly poking out from Mike’s shirt. Mike blushed and pulled his shirt back down. “Shut up.” Mike huffed. They continued to chitchat for a few more hours until they were both hungry enough for lunch. Burgers, fries, pizza, tacos, chips, cookies, chicken, and various other meals were brought back to the table and munched on as the boys continued to talk. Two 18 year olds stuffing their faces with fattening food would be considered odd or inappropriate a few years back, but with the new law, it was completely normal. Everyone in the dining hall was trying to eat loads of food. Everyone’s clothes were a bit to tight. Everyone’s belly was a bit bloated. It was great. People weren’t judged for their bodies anymore.

around 6 or seven, the boys decided they had finally recovered from their massive lunch, they decided to grab dinner. They went all out this time, getting crabs, fish, pasta, rice, subs, shrimp, quesadillas, and more. Mike’s belly was barely fitting under his shirt, and his pants were super tight. Hayden had completely taken his shirt off, opting to let his expanding belly breathe. By the end of dinner the boys were stuffed beyond belief. They leaned back in their chairs, rubbing their bloated bellies, trying to stifle their massive burps.

“Dude! It’s already 8:45!” Hayden said about an hour later. “Yeah. So what?” Mike asked. “The dining hall closes at nine! We need to get dessert before they close!” The bloated boys rushed back to the food area to find some desserts. To their surprise, most of the staff gave them extra so they wouldn’t have to throw it out at the end of the night. They arrived back at their table with an entire cheesecake, 3 slices of chocolate cake, a plate full of various cookies, lots of pastries, and a huge sundae they had created with the rest of the I e cream and toppings. They started with that so they could eat it before it melted. It was vanilla ice cream with whipped cream, cookie dough, hot fudge, Oreos, caramel, and a cherry on top. They tore through it quickly and moved on to the mountain of other dessert. By the time they were finished, the boys were exhausted. Hayden had eaten so much, his bloated belly was touching the table. They headed back to their dorm and passed out with their bloated bellies grumbling in pain.

let me know if you guys would like a part two to this story. I really enjoyed writing about these two, and they quickly became one of my favorite characters. I know posts have been slow lately but I’ve been focusing on myself and I have officially started gaining! I started about a month ago and I’m up 5 pounds. It’s been slow but I’m having a really great time. If anyone has any tips please leave them in the comments.

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Characters as Midwestern / Southern Food I Think They'd Like

✩ Sam - Gooey Butter Cake

✩ Porter - Coleslaw

✩ Vincent - Toasted Ravioli

✩ David - Chili with Cinnamon Rolls

✩ Milo - Buckeyes

✩ Asher - Chicago Mix Popcorn

✩ Huxley - Tater Tot Hotdish

✩ Damien - Chili Mac

✩ Lasko - Scotcheroos

✩ Gavin - Sweet Cream Corn

✩ Camelopardalis - Sugar Cream Pie

✩ Vega - Morel Mushrooms

✩ Hush - Chocolate Potato Chips

✩ Avior - Deep Dish Pizza

✩ Regulus - Frog Legs

✩ Caelum - Puppy Chow

✩ Guy - Fried Cheese Curds

✩ Geordi - Cornbread

✩ Ollie - Biscuits and Gravy

✩ Ivan - Fried Okra

✩ Aaron - Burnt Ends

✩ Elliott - Hashbrown Casserole

✩ Blake - Apple Pie with Cheddar Cheese

✩ Brachium - Frozen Custard

✩ Kody - Meatloaf with Ketchup

✩ Anton - Cheeseburger Pie

✩ James - Watergate Salad

✩ Marcus - Fried Green Tomatoes

✩ Morgan - Beer Brats

[feedists4walz]

Food is one of the most universally beloved things on planet Earth. Aligning a presidential campaign with it is smart for all the obvious reasons, but for the Harris-Walz ticket, it’s also a signal. The rhetorical challenge of progressivism is that it is by nature abstract: It imagines a world that does not yet exist, rather than advocating to return to some previous version of the one we know. [...] In foregrounding food, Harris and Walz are making theirs the candidacy of terrestrial pleasure and straightforward abundance.

The governor of Minnesota and possible future vice president’s hotdish recipe is, uh, a lot. It involves, among other things, whole milk, half-and-half, two types of meat, three cups of cheese (specifically Kraft), nearly a stick of butter, and a full package of Tater Tots. It is gluttonous, deeply midwestern, and, I am sure, delicious. Indeed, Walz won the Minnesota Congressional Delegation’s hotdish cook-off in 2013, 2014, and 2016.

Tim Walz loves food. He loves corn dogs, and the all-you-can-drink milk booth at the Minnesota state fair, and—I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this—dunking cinnamon rolls in chili. He gets excited about soda. He posts pictures of his sandwiches.  He loves to eat so much that people on X are already writing short-form fan fiction about it. Throughout his political career, but especially recently, he has gone out of his way to talk about food, the fattier and folksier the better. Last week, in a discussion with CNN’s Jake Tapper that was ostensibly about Joe Biden’s mental fitness, Walz recounted receiving a call from the president while eating the Minnesota delicacy Juicy Lucy, a hamburger stuffed with cheese. The next day, he posted on X about a different award-winning hotdish recipe of his, this one involving two separate kinds of canned soup.

We are witnessing what might be the most food-centric presidential campaign in American history. Kamala Harris is, by all accounts, an exceptional and enthusiastic home cook, and has made cooking part of her political brand—surely an intentional calculation, given the negative connotations that might arise when the potential first woman president openly embraces domesticity. In 2019, she offered an off-the-cuff lesson in turkey brining while getting mic’d up to go on television: “Just lather that baby up,” she said, eyes bright. The next year, she started an amateur cooking show; on it, she cracks an egg with one hand and bonds with Mindy Kaling over the fact that their parents both stored spices in old Taster’s Choice jars. She laughs a lot in the kitchen.

Unlike her running mate, Harris seems unlikely to throw four kinds of dairy in the oven for dinner—she’s a Californian, and she cooks like one: swordfish with toasted cardamom for her pescatarian stepdaughter, herb-flecked Mediterranean meatballs on an Instagram Live with the celebrity chef Tom Colicchio. But she’s not immune to the humble charms of ice cream, gumbo, Popeye’s chicken, red-velvet cupcakes, or bacon, which she describes as a “spice” in her household. She comes off as sincere in her love of food but discerning in her tastes. When a 10-year-old recently asked her at an event what her favorite taco filling was, she answered with the kind of absorbed expression that she might otherwise display when explaining foreign policy on the debate stage: carnitas with cilantro and lime, no raw onions.

Invoking food on the campaign trail is a cliché for a reason: Eating is an easy and extremely literal way to prove that you are a human being. But the Democratic Party has not always been great at it. In 2003, John Kerry visited the Philadelphia cheesesteak institution Pat’s and asked for a sandwich not with the traditional Whiz, American, or Provolone, but with Swiss. If voters needed proof that he was something other than the eggheady elitist they thought he was, this wasn’t it: In Philly, Swiss is “an alternative lifestyle,” The Philadelphia Inquirer’s food critic, Craig LaBan, said at the time. One does not get the sense that Walz or Harris would stride into Pat’s and ask for Swiss—not because they’re self-consciously avoiding a gaffe, but because they have deep respect for America’s foodways and are interested in enjoying food however it is meant to be enjoyed.

Their approach makes a marked departure both from the Obama era—what with its well-meaning but not entirely fun focus on childhood obesity, and its notorious seven almonds—and from the current leaders of the Republican Party. Donald Trump doesn’t really talk about liking eating; he does, famously, consume a lot of fast food, but that is reportedly because he’s afraid of being poisoned, not because fast food tastes amazing. His most well-known food tweet—“Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”—reads like an obligatory plug rather than an earnest celebration of the way the taco bowl itself looks, smells, and tastes: all business, no pleasure. Meanwhile, Trump’s running mate, J. D. Vance, says he loves Diet Mountain Dew, but he seems mostly to be mad about it. To the degree that he has gotten specific about why he likes the beverage, the praise is purely functional: “high caffeine, low calorie.” The primary message here is that food is the site not of delight and togetherness but of anxiety and alienation, or utilitarianism at best. It’s all a little, well, weird.

Food is one of the most universally beloved things on planet Earth. Aligning a presidential campaign with it is smart for all the obvious reasons, but for the Harris-Walz ticket, it’s also a signal. The rhetorical challenge of progressivism is that it is by nature abstract: It imagines a world that does not yet exist, rather than advocating to return to some previous version of the one we know. I find it telling that Walz keeps using the word joy when he talks about the campaign and about his running mate. It’s an uncomplicated message, one that’s even more concrete than Barack Obama’s hope: Hope is the future, but joy is the present. It’s cold milk on a hot day; a perfectly cracked egg; a steaming casserole dish full of God knows what, enjoyed at a crowded table. In foregrounding food, Harris and Walz are making theirs the candidacy of terrestrial pleasure and straightforward abundance. It’s simple, really. —Ellen Cushing

[tgmsunmontue]

850 word ficlet for the topgunalternativeuniverse Bingo which I realised I should start ticking off so I can hopefully achieve at least one Bingo... Also for @thyknife for doing their editing!

Hangster - for the squares Stripper and Handyman. Teen+

Not here for you. Maybe next time?

                Long denim-clad legs, tight white t-shirt, low-slung leather tool belt with actual authentic looking tools. He definitely looks the part, he can see muscles in all the right places and even if the stripper isn’t booked for him he’s definitely going to appreciate the show. Part of Bradley is impressed, except for the fact that the guy has the day and time completely wrong. Or maybe the guy has the wrong house.

                “Uh, hey man. I think you have the wrong house.”

                “Three-forty-one Riverview Terrace?”

                “Uh. Yeah. That’s us, but we didn’t…” order a stripper he wants to say, except they did, but not for tonight. “Did you get the date right?”

                Now the guy is looking confused.

                “Uh. Usually when people call me they want me over as quickly as possible.”

                “Really?” Bradley asks, because he didn’t realize that emergency strippers were a thing.

                “Yeah, really. I had someone named Natasha call me? And as pretty as you are, I don’t think you’re Natasha.”

                “Uh. I thought Callie booked the stripper.”

                “A stripper? I am not here to take my clothes off…” the guy says, but he does sweep his eyes down Bradley’s body like he’s mentally undressing him and Bradley is pretty sure he’s blushing. “Not this time, anyway.”

                Before Bradley has time to reply Natasha is behind him, pushing him to the side and Bradley just stands there, gaping a little because the very hot stripper just made a pass at him. Maybe.

                “Oh! Are you Jake?” Natasha asks, and Bradley realizes then that he’s probably made a severe error of judgement, and it is mortifying on several levels.

                “Yes ma’am.”

                “Great! Can you come through and take a look?”

                “Of course,” the guys says, shooting Bradley an amused look. He wants the ground to open up and swallow him. Knowing that isn’t going to happen he needs to go and hide; why the hell hadn’t Natasha warned him? Also what had needed someone else’s help with, usually he handles all the odd jobs around the house, he’s a carpenter, he knows how to fucking fix things. He loiters within ear shot to find out that the two-phase oven they have in the kitchen, which apparently has two fuses, has somehow tripped something else and okay, if it’s wires and electricity then he isn’t touching it. He can stop feeling bad about her calling in a professional for that at least.

                The guy is making small talk, and his ears prick up at hearing his name.

                “Oh no, Bradley can’t do wiring. He knows his own limitations at least.”

                “Good thing to have in a boyfriend, some guys are too egotistical to admit when they don’t know.”

                “Not my boyfriend, or anything else other than my best friend. And you’re as subtle as pink pantsuit at a white party”

                “Wasn’t trying to be subtle. And it’s all fixed by the way. You can get back to toasting your tater tots.”

                “That was fast.”

                “Well, I’m good at my job. You have anything else that needs looking at? You’ve got me for the minimum hour callout…”

                “I wouldn’t know, but Bradley will. One second.”

                Then she’s right there, eyes alight with mirth and laughing silently, because she obviously heard him before she interrupted and he could kill her.  He tries, with his eyes, right then and there, but it only makes her laugh more, and if it continues she’s going to start snorting, which is going to be another level of humiliation. Who needs enemies when you can have friends that laugh at your pain like this?

                “Anything you need help with?” Natasha asks, and Bradley shoves her. He’s annoyed, because there actually is something, and he steps past her, heads into the kitchen where Jake is waiting, and yeah, he still looks like a fucking stripper, but now that he’s looking properly he can see the multimeter, tester, wire strippers all hanging off the leather apron tool belt.

                “Hey man, uh, sorry about before. I’ve got a live switch to outside that needs to be made dead.”

                “Sure thing, lead the way.”

                Bradley leads him to outside to where the pump to the outdoor fountain is, the pump itself long gone, wires just loose and tucked back into the concrete plinth of the now defunct base. He gestures at it, can immediately appreciate that Jake is reviewing the scene, poking around a bit before he gets to work. He tests the wires and socket, then pops the switch cover off, then he’s unscrewing things and cutting things; jogging to his van, muttering about a torch and Bradley just watches. Then he’s slipping a sheath over wires and using a blowtorch to make it shrink to cover the wires.

                “So, interesting fact for you. I was a stripper when I was younger. Good money. Electricians generally have better working hours though.”

                “God, I’m sorry,” Bradley says. “I didn’t mean any disrespect…”

                “Well, that’s okay. If no disrespect was meant. Anyway. Here’s my card. If you’re ever looking for a private show… Call me.”

                “Okay, I will.”

[yum-bugs]

Some (more) agere snack ideas!

Sweet - Cookies, pudding/jello cups, caramel popcorn, fruits, brownies, Lil Debbie/Hostess snacks, Rice Krispies Treats, dry cereal, cereal/granola bars, muffins/cupcakes, candy/chocolate

Salty - Chips, crackers, pretzels, popcorn, nuts, Funyuns, Fritos, veggie straws, trail mix, beef jerky

Cheesy - Nachos, Cheetos/Cheese puffs, Cheez Its/Cheez It Snap'd, cheese & crackers, Goldfish crackers, Ritz cheese crispers/Ritz bits/Ritz toasted chips, Munchies cheese mix/cheddar Chex mix, Combos

Spicy - Takis, flamin' hot Cheetos, watermelon/mango w/ tajín seasoning, buffalo wing flavored Snyder's pretzels, Frank's red hot Goldfish crackers, Hot & Spicy popcorn, flamin' hot Munchies snack mix, spicy nacho Doritos

-

Cold - Ice cream/milkshake, popsicle, smoothie, cold chocolate/candy, smoothie, yogurt, refrigerated Fruit Rollup/Gushers, cereal (with milk), pickles/olives, string cheese, Lunchables

Hot & Savory/Salty - Tater tots/french fries, pizza rolls/bagels, soft pretzel, bagel/toast, grilled cheese, mac & cheese cups/bites, jalapeño poppers, mozzarella sticks

Hot & Sweet - Toaster Strudel, PopTart, waffle, french toast sticks, s'mores, cinnamon rolls, hot chocolate

[w-e-i-r-d-f-o-o-d]

"Imitation Spaghetti" (1889) doesn't sound like it would work as spaghetti but sounds like it would turn out kind of like long skinny tater tots or hash browns, as long as they firmed up as they toasted

[trumpets0ng]

247- “Photograph”

Beginning / Previously /Next

((Photograph - Cody Fry))

For easier reading, please see transcript below the cut:

The evening finally wound down shortly after the New Year’s count down. After the toasts, and midnight hugs and kisses we finally said our goodbyes. Truth be told, I don’t even remember how we go home.

I had been dying to have him all to myself for hours, and now…

We barely made it through the front door before things got… heated.

W: *out of breath* We need to take Tater out for a walk before we get—

O: *whispering* He’s spending the night at Clem’s. Martin picked him up right after we left for the restaurant.

Watcher, I love this man!

As intense as our love life has always been, nothing prepared me for my first night with my fiancé…

We didn’t quite make it to the bed for the first round…

Heck, we almost didn’t make the second round either…

But my husband-to-be eventually saw to it that I enjoyed some creature comforts…

O: We should get some sleep.

W: *chuckles* Why? You have somewhere to be in the morning?

O: *grin* We have somewhere to be in the morning.

W: Oh?

O: Your parents are taking us to brunch. *Walker groans*

W: But I just wanna stay in bed all day with my new fiancé.

O: And your new fiancé loves the sound of that… but your folks want to see the place before they head back and insisted on taking us to brunch. I couldn’t say no.

W: *deep yawn* I guess that makes sense.

O: *chuckles* Sleep. We’ll go over the itinerary later.

We slept the night away wrapped around each other like vines. I’d awake every so often to make sure I hadn’t dreamt it all.

I have no idea what I did to gain such a blessing…

But I’d suffered enough heartbreak in my life to know that I will never let him go.

[suicidalgamergirl]

Intervention With A Vampire

Or AA’s Juicebox.

****

The bus dropped her off and she started walking to her apartment. Entering the main building, she placed her small bag of groceries aside and checked her mail. There was a birthday card.

Another reminder on how old and alone she is. She should be grateful, but her interactions with her ex, had turned her into a bitter old hag.

Least helping a bat out didn’t seem too bad. Maybe she can make videos of feeding the bat. Perhaps she’ll make some new friends.

She entered her apartment and put the fruits she purchased in the fridge. She placed the card on the counter. She then felt there was something amiss. She looked around and saw the balcony door left open.

Shit. Someone was here.

She rushed to the balcony. The bat house was empty. Did the bat flee? Was there an altercation?! Did someone hurt the poor little fellow?! White bats were extremely rare, especially during Covid restrictions. Poor bats were culled due to said illness.

She went back to her purse and put out a box cutter. She looked around as she closed the balcony door. Something in her made her feel like someone was here in her place. She couldn’t shake off the feeling. She had to do something. She had to think quickly. There was no one in the other rooms in her apartment.

Except her room.

Carrying her box cutter, with the blade out stretched, she entered her bedroom.

There was someone right there. On her bed was a well dressed gentleman. He had silvery white curled hair and seemed to be paying attention to her journal. Said book she writes in as she tries to quell her depression thoughts and shares her journal with her social worker.

Great another man. Another man who will just act like Ken. Another person who thinks she’s nothing but a fat fuck, a worthless 32 year old woman who who will never satisfy anyone, due to her fucked up insecurities.

She had to do something.

****

The vampire hunters were at a dinner. Some had eggs benedict, others had scrambled eggs with tater tots and brown toast. Layla hummed to herself, looking at her tablet and scanning news reports for a bloodless victim.

There were no such reports.

Yet.

Rolan, looking at his teammates. He should be glad with the news of no bloodless victims.

But now their hunt was at a standstill.

And the Vampire Ascendant was free roaming in this city.

****

He scans through her writing, his crimson eyes taking in every page. Unlike other journals he had seen, this one lacked pictures of the owner. He can feel the emotion in the words, the owner is clearly in a great deal of pain, they feel scorned and rejected.

Humans, always so caught up in their own little world, spending their short lives distracted by inner thoughts

"What the?!" a voice cried out.

Raising his head, he lowered the journal and turned towards the voice. In front of him he saw a plump woman with short hair, dyed in two colors. She appeared almost like the vampire hunters in his domain. Although, none of them would be brave enough to approach him alone, with such a pathetic weapon. He almost laughed, then caught himself and smirked instead.

This must be the journal’s owner.

“I dunno who you are…” she stated in the situation as she held the box cutter, “but I’m not going down without a fight!”

Such passion she was boasting. She was acting the complete opposite of what was written in her journal. He loved his meals being spicy. Oh, how delightful it’ll be just to taste her savory blood on his lips.

She stared down at him. She noticed his curls were oddly similar, like she had definitely seen them before.

No, it couldn’t be.

She recalled the white bat she saw sleeping in the bat house. He had the same exact curls on said bat’s head.

She lowered her box cutter, but kept herself very defensive. He seemed interested in her flustered cheeks.

Of all the trashy paranormal romance novels she had been reading after she ditched Ken, due to his infidelity. That white bat she helped rescue was no albino fruit bat as she thought it was…

But an actual vampire bat.

Realization of a vampire on her bed, who was calmly reading her journal made her flustered in embarrassment.

[kintsugibody]

baked mac n cheese, cream soda, lasagna, miso ramen, bacon triple stacked cheeseburgers, cream filled croissants, strawberry shortcake, truffle fries, pizza with all meat toppings, waffles with vermont maple syrup and salted butter, red bean mochi, strawberry frosted donuts, fried chicken, cheese danish, parmesan chex mix, chocolate cake, hashbrowns, smores, lobster mac n cheese, queso potato chips, cheesecake, french toast, auntie annies pretzels, brown sugar boba, pumpkin loaf, chicken sandwich, tortelini in cheese sauce, shaved ice, raw cookie dough, churros, brownies, orange chicken, cheddar biscuits, breakfast casserole, peanut butter fudge, country fried chicken with gravy, apple pie, elephant ears with butter and powdered sugar, apple fritters, bread pudding, egg rolls, tater tots, strawberry short cake ice cream bars, croissants, funyuns, california roll sushi, breakfast sausage, hawaiian sweet rolls, chicken quesadilla, crab and cream cheese wontons, chips and salsa, onion rings, fried fish, please someone dig me out this hell

[thetimemoves]

I'm sending a lot of asks today, just for fun.

What are you passionate about?

What do you value most in a friend?

What consistently brings you joy?

What a lovely idea! I had to sit with these questions for a bit (also the 't' key on my laptop has been an asshole as of late...).

The right to affordable, adequate, accessible, and safe housing.

2. A good ear. The ability to pick things up where you left off, no matter how much time has passed.

3. A good meal (which can be anything from a hot dog and tater tots to any kind of risotto to egg over easy on toast), the smells of books, freshly mowed grass, and the sea, crawling into a bed made with clean sheets, my sister's belly laugh, and long sleeves on a crisp autumn day.

Thanks again @fuckyeahfightlock for the great questions! I'd actually love to hear your answers to these too. And anyone else, if you'd like to share yours, please do and tag me!