#tell judas to abort it???

[siderusmysteriarch]

So, today my friends send me a list of the most unhinged shit I have said.

"Your mother should have gotten an abortion" *after a little pause* "my mother should have too."

*Whenever somebody tells me to do something new* "I don't think I am licensed to do this shit."

"Today on, I didn't realize I was into that."

*Teacher waking me up after I fell asleep on my biology book* What are you doing?" Me: "Osmosis"

"You cockroach cooked in lizard sweat."

"Teacher, how did you get such good hair, did you perhaps sacrifice your new born to Odin?"

"What if Jesus had a crush on Judas?"

"He told me go to hell, which one? I know like 8" *Starts to list mythologies*

"I wanna be your friend like Achilles was to Patroclus."

"He was wearing grey sweatpants and had long fingers" " [Name] he was talking about his dead pet"

"I am aquarium." " [Name] you meant Aquarius?" *Me with a smile* "Nah, I'm a fucking goldfish."

"Bitch, my first crush was Mark Anthony from Julius Caesar, what did you expect?"

"I can't die like this. Hades and Persephone were my bi awakening, I can't meet them like this."

[entity9silvergen]

I recently asked reddit for some LGBT history from countries other than the US. Here’s what I got:

Germany

The Weimar Republic was surprisingly accepting of "alternative lifestyles."

During the Weimar Republic, Germany had a pretty active LGBTQ scene, with some major films and songs being produced, despite it still being illegal at the time. However, there was also a push to decriminalize homosexual behavior which sadly wasn't passed as the Nazis came to power.

This was based of two factors: after WW1 the authoritarian culture of Prussia sorta received a long overdue pushback. People were kinda sick of it, especially since these losers led them into a seemingly pointless war to begin with. Second: A LOT of men died in WW1 - and the army did not exactly prefer LGBT people. So with a lot of regular folks dead, the percentages of the total populace was sorta shifted. This also pushed the women's rights movements at the time for a similar reason.

Magnus Hirschfeld was helping trans people transition, crossdressers get crossdressing 'licenses', and generally advocating for and helping the LGBT community in the early 1900s in Germany. Nazis ended up raiding and burning down his research institute.

Hirschfeld was a gay polyamorous man. He was one of the first advocates for trans and gay rights but his work was destroyed by the Nazis.

The institute he headed even did the first modern gender affirming surgeries. The institute was destroyed and many people who were there (including the first known person to undergo complete MtF surgery) were killed by the nazis and the place was little more than bombed out ruins at the end of the war.

More information on the institute

Pre Nazi interwar Germany (Weimar Republic)  was pretty open when it came to not only sexuality, but also gender identity. The Nazis put a stop to that & tried to destroy any & all research into either, but, for a brief moment, it was there.

Russia

Pretty sure all Russian LGBT history was erased before we even had a written language, but Russia almost got gay marriage legalized in the first soviet constitution (didn’t happen bc Stalin)

The early soviet period (pre-Stalin) is sometimes called “the first sexual revolution” as opposed to America’s “sexual Revolution” of the 60’s. Broad women’s suffrage, female employment and education, parental leave, advancement of GSM rights & decriminalization of abortion. This unfortunately did not stand the test of time & reactionary sentiment.

Additional Source

UK/ Britain/ England 

The lead singer of Judas Priest is gay. The commenter’s father thought it was kinda funny because it didn’t match with his biker aesthetic, but the commenter doesn’t think he considered how much leather he wears on a daily basis

Hell bent for Leather was a track off Killing Machine. It was written by lead guitarist Glenn Tipton (who is straight), but it's fun to find alternative meanings in Priest songs. A second commenter likes to pretend a lot of the lyrics Halford sings are gayer than they actually are.

A couple people mentioned how uncomfortable it was seeing Ru Paul interact with British drag queens because he barely knows anything about British culture.

Ru Paul got angry that a British drag queen hasn’t seen the Golden Girls because “it’s gay culture” and then not five minutes later someone had to explain to him who Alan Turing was.

Alan Turing, who was an incredibly noteworthy figure (He made the Enigma codebreaker machine, which broke the code that was used by Nazis during the war and basically sped up the war by a significant margin. He also set the foundations for artificial intelligence, one achievement he was named for: the Turing Test), was homosexual and prosecuted multiple times because of it

Shakespeare was probably bisexual (some of his sonnets had homoerotic subtext/were sent to a younger man). Plus, Hamlet is gay as fuck. 

Sonnet 46 was very gay. Here’s a link!

King James 1st was corrupt and used his position to promote his gay lover to higher positions than he should've gotten. 

The 13 year old king James 6th of Scotland and 1st of England fell in love with a 37 year old catholic Franco Scottish man. The king gave the older man so much free shit that other lords started getting salty and his lover ended up converting to Presbyterianism out of loyalty to his young lover. He also fell in love with a man who ''was noted for his handsome appearance as well as his limited intelligence.'' 

Clearly James was into himbos, and women too.

He had a secret tunnel connecting his bedroom to George Villiers’s bedroom.

His relationship with Villiers was basically common knowledge and a source of much amusement and mockery. He also once said that his relationship with Villiers was equivalent to the relationship that Christ had with John the Baptist

Much more recently, there's obviously JKR and the banning of puberty blockers and Margaret Thatcher opposing LGBTQ+ rights by passing a law meaning you couldn't 'promote homosexuality'. 

Prince Philip was a racist twat (and probably a huge homophobe knowing him).

Gay marriage only became legal in 2014.

The Wolfenden Report was published in 1957, and it recommended the decriminalization of homosexual acts between consenting adults. It was a huge topic of public debate, and ultimately led to the Sexual Offences act of 1967, which legalized sexual acts between consenting men aged 21 or over in England and Wales (sexual acts between women were never explicitly criminalized). Scotland decriminalized sex between men in 1980, and Northern Ireland in 1982. 

For a totally batshit real-life bit of gay history, check out the show A Very English Scandal. It's about a politician, Jeremy Thorpe, who put a hit out on his former lover who was threatening to go public with the fact they had had a relationship. 

Austria

Gay marriage was legalized in Austria about 3 years ago. The worst thing is that it'd have staid illegal if the Supreme Court wouldn't have jumped in and declare it to be unconstitutional.

Austria did have something called "partnership" which was where gay couples could officially register with the state as couples but not receive any of the benefits of married het people

They still have super backwards Transphobic laws requiring for example "real life experience" to get even diagnosed. Basically you're forced to be and live as feminine/masc as possible and a doctor them judges if you're femme or masc enough. It's torture

Australia had widespread, over 60% approval of gay marriage for well over a decade before the government legalized it. The governments were actually going against the people for a very long time by denying it.

Taiwan/ Hong Kong/ Mainland China

When Taiwan recently legalized gay marriage, their official statement was something along the lines that they were casting off Western-imposed values and returning to their own traditional values and the entire western lgbt community ridiculed them in a "if that's what you need to tell yourself" sort of way but it's actually the truth. 

Prior to western colonization, the Imperial Chinese attitude toward sexuality was not dissimilar to Greco-Roman attitudes in that a man must marry a woman to beget legitimate heirs but whatever else he does on the side is his own business. It wasn't until Victorian colonizers came along and imposed homophobic attitudes on China that China started treating gays like abominations. In Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Mainland China, as indeed most of the world, homophobia is a western value imposed by colonizers.

Bonus history: there is an actual saying in Arabic that was in widespread use across the Middle East and North Africa for thousands of years from classical antiquity until European colonization. The saying goes "Women are for babies, [young men] are for fun."

The commenter specifies that this means “college-aged twinks,” not children

Another commenter speculates about when homophobia arose in China and how. They also add that in Rome, bottoms were stigmatized. 

There’s a story of Emperor Ai of the Han dynasty & him cutting off his sleeve for his boyfriend

There is also a god worshipped in Taiwan, the Rabbit God Tu'er Shen, whose domain is managing love and sex between same-sex attracted people. He is meant to be the incarnation of a soldier from the 17th century, who fell in love with an imperial inspector and spied on him bathing, and was tortured and killed by that official because he was offended by the spying. A villager from the soldier's hometown dreamed that Tu'er Shen appeared to him and said that because his crime had been love, he had been appointed to manage the affairs of gay people. The villagers erected a secret temple to the soldier, and people have been praying to him ever since.

South Africa

South Africa became the first nation in the world to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in its constitution. It was also first country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2006. What really set them back for so long was apartheid.

There is some speculation that that Shaka Zulu was gay since he never took any wives

South Africa's post Apartheid constitution was the first in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation in 1996.

South Africa was also the 5th country in the world and only country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2005.

Even before that the Constitutional Court ruled that sexual orientation was not relevant when deciding child custody in 2002.

Transgender folks have been allowed to change their sex in the population registry since 2003.

Conversion therapy is not illegal yet and public opinion still needs some work.

Spain

In Spain gay marriage was legalized in 2005, now they are considered one of de gay-friendliest countries in the world. The commenter is a lesbian and has never been closeted or directly experienced discrimination for being a lesbian.

In July 2005, Spain became the third country in the world to explicitly legalize gay marriage, after a thirty-year struggle following the fall of Franco's dictatorship, during which most activism was carried clandestinely (as it was illegal).

From 2007 onwards, Spanish [binary] trans people can legally correct the name and sex fields of their IDs and currently, there's a push for a law that would allow for legal recognition of non-binary Spaniards.

Despite the dictatorship in the 60s, there were cinemas that specialized in gay meet ups. Trans women also had ways to get passports so they could go to the US for surgery.

Ireland

In Northern Ireland, same sex marriage only became legal in 2020 and the leader of the most popular party is homophobic transphobic racist and sexist af. In fact, the majority of the party are but some of the quotes from the biggest party leader are depressing.

Same-sex marriage was only legalized in Ireland in 2015. Homosexuality was decriminalized in 1993. 

When Ireland legalized same sex marriage by popular vote in 2015, it was still something you got horribly bullied for in schools if you were out. Queer people got an apology from the Taoiseach in 2018, for the suffering and discrimination we faced from the State prior to the legalization of homosexuality.

In the case of trans rights, in 2015 the Gender Recognition Act was signed into law. It allows legal gender changes without the requirement of medical intervention or assessment by the state as long as you are over the age of 18. 

Ireland has fines and jail time for anyone found guilty of attempting conversation therapy. 

Ireland has seen a lot of progress in LGBT rights in the last 6 years but even up to the 2000s, citizens left their family members and friends to rot for being LGBT+. It still happens all over the country, especially in circles that are still fanatically Catholic. As the Catholic Church has lost the iron grip on the country, people have become more accepting of the LGBT+.

India

The Kamasutra(ancient text on sexuality etc.) has an entire chapter dedicated to homosexuality

The Arthashastra, a 2nd century BCE Indian treatise on statecraft, mentions a wide variety of sexual practices which, whether performed with a man or a woman, were sought to be punished with the lowest grade of fine. While homosexual intercourse was not sanctioned, it was treated as a very minor offence, and several kinds of heterosexual intercourse were punished more severely.

Sex between non-virgin women incurred a small fine, while homosexual intercourse between men could be made up for merely with a bath with one's clothes on, and a penance of "eating the five products of the cow and keeping a one-night fast"

Milk, curd (cheese), ghi (clarified butter), urine, and dung are the five products of a cow

The commenter adds that this is not a terrible punishment.

The Mughal Empire mandated a common set of punishments for homosexuality, which could include 50 lashes for a slave, 100 for a free infidel, or death by stoning for a Muslim

On 6 September 2018 the Supreme Court of India invalidated part of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code making homosexuality legal in India

Prior to the British colonization of India homosexuality was not all that looked down upon when compared to what happened when the British took over and instituted anti gay laws.

The Hijra (literally means third gender) were seen as normal and have been accepted since long before Christ, as evidenced by the Karma Sutra. The British took videos of them to take back to demonstrate how the Desi were “barbaric”.

Bonsia

In Bosnia, there was a one pride parade that ended with religious extremists ruining it and the police not doing anything. It was supposed to be 5 maybe 3 days long but ended in like 1 or 2.

The Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe mapped out the entire night sky with only his eyes. It laid the foundations of many later scientists, such as Isaac Newton. He was a very rich nobleman, so much so that he owned 1% of Denmark's money. He had a pet dwarf that apparently could see the future, which sounds pretty gay. He was also part of the Elefant Ordning, which consisted of rich and strong Danish men.

Philippines 

Despite many attempts to legalize same-sex marriage, the Philippines still didn't budge. Being gay in itself is legal, but same-sex marriage still isn't.

Philippines ,the most Catholic Country in Southeast Asia, has held the largest Pride Parade in Southeast Asia.

Serbia

Serbia didn't have history from about 16th century to 1800's when the 1st revolt happened and failed till 1813's... Then yet another in 1830's for semi independence from Turks, and full in 1836

During the last lingering Ottoman rule over autonomous Serbia, Serbia was one of the very first few countries to have legal mostly everything... it then got removed with like 3 constitution changes and then it didn't move forward for a looong time

Switzerland

Would you have thought that small, conservative Switzerland was a center of the international gay community during the mid-20th century? The magazine "Der Kreis"- the circle - was the only queer magazine in the world that kept publishing during WWII. It was edited in Zurich and distributed internationally, which often meant illegal smuggling, even into nazi Germany. The magazine's annual ball was attended by hundreds of gay men from all over Europe each year. The whole thing was kept strictly secret from the public, though it was known and tolerated by the police.

The Kreis club disbanded in 1967, as repressions grew heavier after a number of murders in the scene had caught the public's attention. By then, other European and American groups took its place, publishing their own magazines.

They made a movie about it.

More info about Der Kreis

As of today, Switzerland doesn't allow gay marriage. A country-wide referendum will be held this fall on gay marriage.

The commenter speculates that gay marriage will be legalized.

A few people expressed surprise that Switerland is socially conservative and several people explained that women’s right to vote was only place in the 70s.

There’s a movie about it

Turkey

A Muslim Persian (born in modern day Turkey) philosopher/mysticist named Mewlana who is known for his sayings on acceptance and love for one another was gay! He had exchanged letters with his instructor Shams and wrote homoerotic poems to him! In Turkey this is ignored by many due to the country's stance on homosexuality

More information

Norway

The commenter’s hometown and the neighboring town arranged their first pride parade/event in 2017, which is a big deal for a small place and one of the local priests went livid and went straight to the newspaper and social media to condemn it. A local rapper wrote a short and to the point article in the newspaper calling him out for all kinds of things which was a great read. Then to top it off, the priest arranged for a "Jesus Parade" in protest to be held the day before the pride parade. Only like five people walked in it, not including the priest of course because he happened to be on vacation in Spain that week. The pride parade itself was a success though! It's become an annual event. Covid has put some breaks on it though, but they're making a documentary this year about the pride celebrations.

Hungary

Hungary has no same sex marriage or transition rights

Police are unkind to protestors

During “commie times,” being queer was illegal so queer people went to the gulag

Belgium

Same sex marriage was legalized in Belgium in 2003 (right after the NL who were the first in the world). The commenter says that same-sex marriage has always felt possible and she is confused about other countries’ actions.

Poland

Polish president on public assembly: 'LGBT is not people, this is ideology'.

Denmark

WHO took their sweet time declassifying being transgender as a mental illness, so Denmark got sick of waiting and became the first country to stop classifying it as an illness.

Australia

In Australia same-sex marriage wasn't legal until 2017.

Portugal

Portugal is know for having one of the most (if not THE most) peaceful revolutions in history back in the 60's, with only 4 deaths total.

Canada

Operation Soap.

Mexico

To learn more, watch Dance of the 41 on Netflix.

Netherlands

NL was one of the first countries to legalize gay marriage in 2001

Sweden

In Sweden they used to classify Homosexuality as a disease during the 20th century so in protest people would call in too gay to work.

New Zealand

When same sex marriage was legalized, the parliament broke into song.

The song

Other

Homosexuality is illegal in 73 countries, some by death or life in prison.

Only one country in Asia has legalized same-sex marriage: Taiwan

FNAF is older than same-sex marriage in the US

Condor Operation

I think this is some important stuff so please reblog so more people can see! And, if you would like to add to or correct anything here, feel free to do so!

[mira--mira]

Mess of thoughts after the last post. Kinda heavy, religious trauma, misogyny, brief mentions of self harm/suicide attempt. Ends on an uplifting note though?

I think the thing that freaked me out with that post was I wasn’t expecting it. I grew up in the bible belt and christianity was, and still is, entrenched in everything around me. I’m used to dealing with it and most days it doesn’t bother me. I have a lot of good friends who are religious who showed me how to have a better, healthier relationship with belief and who respect my boundaries when it gets too much. I tell them ‘funny stories’ of the church I was in growing up and they stare at me in horror and I laugh it off and encourage them to laugh too as ‘can you believe this crazy thing? it’s wild right?’ and push aside any concerns that something’s wrong with my ‘funny stories’.

Their earliest memory in church wasn’t the nice lady who made all the church function’s t-shirts talking about a woman she knew who was so nice and kind but she mentioned something about jesus and the woman told her she was wiccan and wasn’t it a shame that she was going to burn in hell?

They didn’t have the ‘fire-and-brimstone’ preachers who spoke passionately about the devil as much as christ and warned that any thought, any hesitance, any doubt was the devil trying to tempt you. You can’t trust yourself. You’re weak and mortal. If you have doubts you have to beg god for forgiveness and listen to the church. You should have never doubted the church.

Their denomination wasn’t one that prevented women from holding any position of power in the church. Youth-group leaders were the ‘highest’ they could be, they couldn’t even run the adult sunday school lessons. Because women were born from adam’s rib and eve ate the apple first. It was all her fault, she deserved the pain and agony. Women still deserve to be punished today. Lilith? We don’t talk about lilith and even if we did, she’s more proof of women’s inherent wickedness, refusing to submit to her husband. It’s a woman’s place to listen to her husband. She is his helper, he her master. To obey him is to obey to the church, to obey god.

They didn’t live in fear of doing one single thing wrong, forgetting to ask forgiveness, and being damned for all of eternity. There was no punishment a parent could give that would match an eight-year old’s fear of damnation. Every doubt was from the devil. Every ‘this makes me upset, I don’t like being here’ was temptation and it means something is wrong with you because no one else reacts like this. Would your parents even love you if they knew you were so young but the devil was already tempting you so much? Listen to the church. Revelations was one of the most popular books preached. What if the rapture came and you were left behind? It could happen at any moment, have you asked forgiveness today? The anti-christ is said to be a man, but it could be a woman. What if it’s you? What if you don’t even know? What if the signs are as small and innocuous as trick-or-treating or reading books about magic and witchcraft? What if there’s something fundamentally wrong with you? “Serve like peter or serve like judas” god knows everything, has everything planned. You have free will, but do you?

Their denominations were open-minded and inviting. “Everyone is welcome” the church said but only on condition. There are no homosexuals here. Bisexuals do not exist. They’re depraved and sinful and our community is holy and pure. Not one of our women has gotten an abortion, they’re not sluts who spread their legs for every man that asks. They’re not tempted. They’re pure and abstinent, not one has a sexual thought until marriage, until their husband, who they should be with forever, decides to take their innocence and deflower them. A woman’s sex life is like a rose, you know? Every partner, a petal gets plucked. What man would want a plucked flower? Men are never held to the same standard. This is what a good woman should be, so why do you have sexual thoughts? Want physical pleasure? You should be ashamed. Pray for forgiveness, for the thoughts to go away. This, more than anything else, will be your damnation. When they don’t, grow desperate, make deals. It’s not self-harm if you’re not cutting your wrists. It’s not a suicide attempt if you’re not hospitalized and no one knows you tried. No one else has this problem. There must really be something wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you. You’re a child, a teenager, and you should never have grown up with this mockery of ‘love’. It’s all about control. Understand that and everything falls into place. You don’t have to beg and plead and make deals with their abusive god who never loved you anyway. Women are human. You are human. There’s nothing wrong with loving a woman, or a man. There’s nothing wrong with wanting pleasure or prioritizing you in your own life. Their holidays are taken from pagan ones and no one even read the damn books before they decided to condemn them for a single word. Man did not create woman, woman created man. Christ forgave all sins, but eve’s were still too great? How convenient. Misogyny at the rotten core, the same thoughts for thousands of years, with nothing new to say except new ways to tighten the shackles and drag you down. You’re not a vessel. Not a ‘non-man’. Or unfinished thing. Other women are not your enemy, they never were. You’re exactly like them, all the other girls. You should be proud of that, embrace it and find connection instead of constant unfulfilling competition with no victor. They’re hypocrites, they demand their book be read literally, the trumpets and angels, the wall falling down, the world consumed by a lake of fire and the mark of the beast but they ignore the slavery, the rape, the food prohibitions, and the fucking law on mixed fabrics. Don’t believe there’s something inherently wrong or evil with you. Every doubt is the devil if you’re trying to maintain control, they took advantage of your youth, your naivete. Trust yourself to learn right from wrong, never let anyone demonize you for asking a question again. There is nothing wrong with other beliefs. There is nothing wrong with your emotions, how scared they made you feel and how it still bubbles up from time to time, an albatross you may never fully let go. It’s getting better. Measure your progress by that. It was the hardest lesson for a child to learn: the adults were wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

How Christ Comforts (John 14:1-2)

The words of the fourteenth chapter of John were spoken by the Master to His friends in a time of deep grief which seemed inconsolable. Yet He said, "Let not your heart be troubled." This seemed a strange thing to say to those men that night. How could they keep their hearts from being troubled in such circumstances? To think of all that Jesus had grown to be to them! For three years they had been members of His personal family, enjoying the most intimate relations with Him.

How much a friend can be to us, depends on the friend. If he has a rich character, a noble personality, power to love deeply, capacity for friendship, the spirit of pure unselfishness; if he is able to inspire us to heroism and to worthy living - what he can be to us is immeasurable. Think what Jesus Christ, with His marvelous manhood, must have been as a friend to His disciples, and you can understand something of what His going from them meant to them.

Then He was more than a friend to them. They had believed in Him as the Messiah, who was to redeem them and lead them to honor and glory. Great hope rested in Him. His death was, as it seemed to them - the defeat and failure of all their hopes. The announcement that He was to leave them, swept away, as they thought, all that made life worthwhile. There are human friends whose death seems to leave only desolation in the hearts and lives of those who have loved them and leaned on them. But the death of Christ was to His personal friends and followers - the blotting out of every star of hope and promise. Their sorrow was overwhelming.

Yet Jesus looked into their faces and said, "Let not your heart be troubled." It is worth our while to think of the grounds on which Jesus could reasonably say this to His disciples, when they were entering into such great and real sorrow. The first thing He bade them do, was to believe. "Let not your heart be troubled: you believe in God, believe also in Me." Thus far they had believed in God. Jesus had taught them a new name for God. They were to call Him Father. He had not been known by this name before - but Jesus used no other name for Him. The word Father is a great treasure-house of love-thoughts. It told the disciples of personal thought, love and care, extending to all the events of their lives. The very hairs of their heads were all numbered. It told them of goodness which never failed. It was a great lesson they had been learning, as they came to think of God as their Father. In the shock of the last terrible days; however, the danger was that they would lose their faith in God. But Jesus said to them: "Believe in God. Let nothing take this faith out of your heart. Let nothing take from you what you have been learning from Me about God."

"Believe also in Me." They had accepted Jesus as the Messiah. You remember the splendid confession made by Peter, "You are the Christ, the son of the living God." In this confession, all the disciples had joined. They believed that He had come to be the world's Savior. Now, in the announcement that Jesus was to die at the hands of wicked men, there was danger that they should lose their faith in Him. But to save them from their loss of faith He exhorted them to continue to believe. Not one of their hopes had perished. "You believe in God, believe also in Me."

We are always in danger of losing faith in time of sorrow or any sore trouble. Many times people are heard asking such questions as, "How can God be a God of love, and allow me to be so bereft, so stripped of good things? Where are now the promises of blessing which are made in the Scriptures over and over again? Has God forgotten to be gracious?" To those questions of doubt and fear the answer is, "Let not your heart be troubled: you believe in God, believe also in Me." Let nothing disturb your faith. Though it seems that God's love has failed, that God has not forgotten you, that Christ is no longer your friend - still continue to believe; believe in God, believe also in Christ.

Sorrow is full of mystery. We go everywhere asking, "Why?" "This is not love," we say. "This is not goodness. This is not salvation." We cannot answer the WHY. Should we expect to know why God does this or that? How could we, with our narrow vision and our small knowledge, understand the plans and purpose of God? God does not plan to give us an easy time in this world - He wants to make something of us, and often the way to do this - is to give us pain, loss, and suffering.

A German writer speaks of the "hardness of God's love." Love must be hard sometimes. A writer tells of keeping the cocoon of an emperor moth for nearly a year, to watch the process of development. A narrow opening is left in the neck of the flask, through which the insect forces its way. The opening is so small that it seems impossible for the moth to pass through it. This writer watched the efforts of the imprisoned moth to escape. It did not appear to make any progress. At last he grew impatient. He pitied the little creature and, in a weak kindness to it, decided to help it. Taking his scissors, he snipped the confining threads to make the struggle easier. In a moment the moth was free, dragging out a great swollen body and little shriveled wings. He watched to see the beauty unfold - but he watched in vain. "It never was anything but a stunted abortion, crawling painfully about, instead of flying through the air on rainbow wings." Nature's way - that is, God's way - with moths is the only true way, although it is a way of pain, struggle, and suffering. Human pity may make an easier way - but the end will be destructive .

God's love never makes this mistake, either in nature or in dealing with human lives. God lets us suffer - if by suffering we will best grow into perfect beauty. When the mystery of pain or hardness comes into our life - let us not doubt. Let us suffer and wait. The disciples thought all their hopes were gone - but in the end they learned that no hope had perished or failed. Blessing and good came out of what seemed irretrievable disaster. "You believe in God, believe also in me," is always the word of faith and comfort. Trust God. Nothing is going wrong. You cannot understand - but He understands.

The disciples were in great distress because their Master was going away from them. They were dismayed as they thought of their loss. They thought they could not live without Him. But He explained that He was going away - for their sake. They thought they would not have His help anymore, and He explained that He would still be active in their behalf. "In my Father's house are many mansions… I am going to prepare a place for you."

He told them where He was going - to His Father's house. These are precious words. They tell us that heaven is home. On this earth there is no place so sweet, so sacred, so heart-satisfying as the true home. It is a place of love, purest, gentlest, most unselfish love. It is a place of confidence. We are always sure of home's loved ones. We do not have to be on our guard when we enter our home doors. We do not have to wear masks there, hiding or disguising our real selves. Home is a refuge into which we flee from the danger, the enmity, the suspicion, the unkindness, the injustice of the world. Home is the place where hungry hearts feed on love's bread .

Mrs. Craik in one of her books had this fine picture: Oh, conceive the happiness to know that some one person dearer to you than your own self, some one heart into which you can pour every thought, every grief, every joy; one person who, if all the rest of the world were to calumniate or forsake you - would never wrong you by a harsh thought or an unjust word; who would cling to you the closer in sickness, in poverty, in care; who would sacrifice all things to you, and for whom you would sacrifice all; from whom, except by death, night or day, you never can be divided; whose smile is ever at your hearth. Such is marriage, if they who marry have hearts and souls to feel that there is no bond on earth so tender and so sublime.

This is a glimpse of what a true home is. The picture is sometimes realized on the earth. There are homes which are well-near perfect. But the home sought, will be realized full in heaven. The Bible paints heaven in colors of dazzling splendor, its gates and streets and gardens and streams and fruits, all of the utmost brilliance; but no other description means so much to our hearts as that which the Master gives in these three words, "My Father's house" - home!

"My Father's house." That is the place to which we are going! That is the place where those we have lost awhile from our earthly homes, falling asleep in Jesus, are gathering. That is the place to which the angels have carried the godly dead. What a vision will burst upon our eyes when, some quiet day or night, we shall fall asleep - to awake no more on earth - but to awake in heaven, in our Father's house! You have read of men coming over the sea as immigrants, and landing in a strange city as utter strangers - throngs all about them - but not one familiar face, no welcome in any eye, no greeting. But it will not be this way with you when you leave this world and enter heaven. Loved ones will meet you and receive you with joy.

Jesus said also to His disciples, "I go to prepare a place for you." They thought His dying was an interruption of His work. The Messiah they had conceived of was to live and be a glorious King, conquering the world. Suddenly they were told that soon they should not see Him - He would be gone. They were bitterly disappointed. All their homes were now to perish. Jesus comforts them by telling them that the reason He was going away - was to prepare a place for them. Nothing was going wrong with His Messiahship. They had misunderstood it - that was all. He could easily have escaped from the plots of the rulers, the betrayal of Judas, the arrest by the temple officers. But hat would have been to fail in part of His work.

The reason He was going away - was that He might continue and complete His work in heaven. "I go to prepare a place for you." The thought is very beautiful. How does Christ prepare places for us? We need not understand - but it is a sweet thought to know that He thinks of us - as you think of a dear guest who is coming to visit you - lovingly, and prepares for your coming. You good women, when you are expecting a friend you love very much, make the guest room just as tidy and beautiful as you can. You think of the friend's tastes, and prepare the room with this in mind. You put up a picture you think will please him. You lay on the table the books you know he will like. You gather his favorite flowers and place them on the dressing bureau. You do everything you can to make the room beautiful, so that he will feel at home in it the moment he enters it. Christ is preparing a room for you!

There is something else here. "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also." This is more of the work Jesus went away to do for His friends. First, He would make ready for them, build a home for the, prepare a place. Then, when all things were ready, He would come for them and take them home. That is what He does when we leave this world. Men call it dying - but dying is a gloomy, forbidding word. Jesus said, "Whoever lives and believes on Me - shall never die." What we call dying - is really only Jesus coming to receive us unto Himself. Why, then, should anyone dread to leave this world? It is the Master coming to tell you that your place in the Father's house is ready for you - and that He has come to take you to it! When Stephen was being stoned to death - he had a beautiful vision. He saw the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God. As the mob stoned him, Stephen was calling upon Jesus Christ and praying, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!" (see Acts 7:58-60). It was the Savior coming for His servant. The place was ready for him. His work here had been short - but it was all that had been allotted to him. His departure was tragic - he died at the hands of a religious mob; but it mattered not how he was taken away - really it was Jesus who took him away - receiving His spirit into strong, gentle and secure hands.

The comfort to us in our sorrows and bereavements, is that nothing has gone wrong, that God's purpose is going on in all the wrecks of human hopes. Your friend passed away the other night. You thought he would have been with you for many years. You had plans covering a long future of happiness. You were appalled when the doctor said that your friend could not live. Life to you would be dreary, lonely and empty without this one who had become so dear to you. You say: "My friend stayed so brief a time! I could almost wish that I had not let my heart fasten its tendrils about this dear life, since so soon it was torn away from me!" Say it not! It is worthwhile to love - and to let your heart pour out all its sweetness in loving, though it be for but a day - and then to have the bliss give way to grief.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect.  I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.

[engelspolitics]

Twelve Apostles

https://www.grunge.com/158946/the-untold-truth-of-the-twelve-apostles/

Simon Peter the Rock

· Son of Jonah; called Kipha or Cephas by Jesus

· Briefly walks on water, cuts off someone’s ear to keep Jesus from getting arrested

· First pope for Catholics, first patriarch of Antioch for Eastern Orthodox church

· Extracanonical Acts of Peter shows Peter in battle with evil Simon Magus, being told by Jesus’ ghost to go to Rome, and was crucified upside down

o Upside down cross is now called cross of St Peter

Andrew the First Called

· Brother of Simon Peter; Andrew followed John the Baptist and was the first to recognise Jesus’ Divinity

· The one to find the child with the loaves and fishes for the feeding of the 5000

· Acts of Andrew tells us Andrew raises the dead, defeats entire armies on his own, escapes wild animals, performing abortion, summoning an earthquake

· According to tradition, he was crucified on an X-shaped cross, known as a St. Andrew's Cross, like the one found on the Scottish flag

James the Son of Thunder

· Together with John the son of Zebedee; sons of Thunder (relates to temper)

· James and John were also fishermen called by Jesus on the seashore

· The Acts of the Apostles records that King Herod Agrippa had James sworded to death, making him the first of the Twelve Apostles to be martyred.

· Secret Book of James àJesus reveals the secrets of salvation to James and Peter

John the Son of Thunder

· According to the tradition of many churches, John the Apostle is the same person as

o John the Evangelist (who wrote the Gospel of John),

o John the Presbyter (who [probably] wrote the three Epistles of John),

o John of Patmos (who wrote the Book of Revelation)

o Mysterious figure from the Gospel of John known as the Disciple Jesus Loved

§ However chance that they are all different people

· According to tradition, John was the youngest of the Twelve Apostles and managed to outlive all the others through a combination of his relative youth and also never being martyred

· The non-canonical Acts of John tell of how someone tried to poison John's wine, but he evaporated the poison by blessing his cup

o Frequently represented in art by John holding a cup with a snake in it.

· Raising a married couple from the dead, destroying an altar of Artemis with mind bullets, and commanding bedbugs to leave his mat until he's finished sleeping.

Philip the Dragonslayer

· Mentioned as being from Peter and Andrew's hometown; otherwise not noticeable

· The fourth-century Acts of Philip help to fill in some blanks

o Philip, together with his biological sister, Mariamne, and his spiritual brother Bartholomew, travels to Greece, Phrygia, and Syria

o While on these travels, he manages to convert a talking goat and a talking leopard to Christianity before killing a dragon.

· However, Philip converts the wife of the wrong magistrate, who has Philip and Bartholomew crucified on upside-down crosses à Bartholomew is released

Bartholomew the Questioner

· The Gospel of John never mentions a Bartholomew, but instead talks about a Nathanael, who many scholars think is the same person.

o Bartholomew is always paired with Philip in the first three Gospels, and John mentions Nathanael as Philip's friend that he introduces to Jesus

· The text The Questions of Bartholomew shows Bart as the only one of the Twelve Apostles willing to ask Jesus tough questions after his resurrection

o Answers involve Jesus peeling back the ground like a blanket to open a portal to Hell and summoning up Satan so Bartholomew can step on his neck

· Many different accounts of his death, but the best known has him being flayed alive by the King of Armenia, so he is typically depicted in art holding his own empty skin

Thomas the Unfaithful

· Thomas is also called by the Greek name Didymus; both names mean "twin," so we can reasonably infer that maybe he was a twin. Whose twin, however, is a mystery

· The notorious Gospel of Thomas and Infancy Gospel of Thomas

· Acts of Thomas à he travels to India and mentally commands a pack of dogs and a lion to eat a guy who slapped him, battles a dragon and several demons.

· Tradition also says that he baptized the Three Kings

· After converting the King of India by raising his brother from the dead, he was killed by being riddled with spheres

Matthew the Evangelist

· The Gospel of Matthew says he was a tax collector who quit his job in the middle of a shift when Jesus asked him to

· Matthew is believed to have been martyred, but there is no consensus on how or where

James the Just

· Also known as James the Less; son of Alphaeus

· Brother/cousin of Jesus

· The credited author of works as far ranging as the canonical Epistle of James and the Infancy Gospel of James, which tells the story of Mary's childhood up to the birth of Jesus at which a midwife's hand gets burned off testing to see if Mary is still a virgin.

· First head of the church in Jerusalem; crucified in Egypt

Jude the Obscure

· Also known as Thaddeus; may have been a brother or cousin of Jesus

· The confusion between Judas Thaddeus and Judas Iscariot has led to St. Jude's famous role as the patron of lost causes

o The idea is that Christians would be unlikely to pray to St. Jude for fear of accidentally praying to Judas Iscariot

· Jude and Bartholomew are both believed to have been the first to bring Christianity to Armenia, so they are patron saints of that country

· Acts of Simon and Jude instead pairs Jude with Simon the Zealot, and the two travel to Persia, where they were both martyred

o Jude is frequently depicted in art holding the axe that killed him.

Simon the Zealot

· Simon was a member of the first-century A.D. political movement known as the Zealots, who wanted to foment rebellion against the Roman occupiers of Judea.

· The problem is that this movement didn't arise for a couple of decades after the events of the Gospels à likely just was really religious

· He is said to have travelled to Persia with Jude, where he got sawed in half

Judas Iscariot

· Judas' motivation for betraying Jesus are not fully known

o Luke and John say he did it under the influence of Satan

o Modern interpreters believe that Judas was disappointed that Jesus was not a more militant political messiah

o Recently recovered Gospel of Judas claims that Judas was in fact Jesus' most loyal follower, and since Jesus' crucifixion was a necessary step toward salvation, Jesus actually asked Judas to betray him so his mission might be fulfilled

[nauseateddrive]

3 POEMS by Dana Miller

MX-76

Sneerwise, I’ve seen better Dearborn, without the metal I’d go on to abort you like any other paperweight hitchhiking across my belly and just that fast Grace Kelly has figured out the new math, I’m afraid and lordess, but you’re a strict equation Despite the munitions manifest under the crown of your abdication I just keep on loving you like caloric restriction and late-70s cocaine stretching myself out like St. Swithin’s Day across your salt lick whole oceans of Tawny Kitaen Ready for my Helen Reddy moment I’d sober up if I were you The flecks of Roberta Flack in me will leash every lime tiger leaping out of your 43rd-floor window with a piano strapped to its back

It Glows Under The Half-Smirk

the things you learn while killing yourself... down the end of your own dick, I got my comeuppance quick. this wasn’t like ingestion of the ancestor.

the things you’ll hear in a drowned meadow... I used to think you were a nice bunch of guys, ever out of cigarettes, packs on packs of lies. you thought you burned all the blooms of my life. shark-faced cars for the shark-toothed wife

the way things will phrase themselves in a dream… the porcelain horseshoes of your bent vision. the drugs in your dance have all ditched me, by and by. what’s left is streaks of lightning-blonde--celestial harlot dye.

no truck now for the very idea of you, the two times needles, the twice j’taime. whyever wouldn’t I get off my face? it’s hard, after all, to have fins in this place, where pelicans regard the curvature of the world, and your doormat-ador sneers-- seven full galaxies of dream on.

Last Lighthouses a riff for the faithless majority

You’ll come to know the type You’ve given them all 13 years or more--full of hummable introspection and the most famous rock stars in the world--to say nothing of your dose-dense soul bandying about your hopes and fears built entirely on bracellae and boustrophedon They will come to your birthday parties and you will go to them at Christmas It will seem the safest and most naturally warm thing in the world to lean your full weight on the concrete of their love (though you might as well be giving birth in the High Arctic) Ta, but how the best ones will swear they love you Til you roundly disappoint yourself and believe It’s only when your weight-bearing hand goes crashing through what you thought was such an indomitable, vertical construction of care that you see it was always made of wet newspaper--and you, my dear, are just a penny gaff girl in the back rooms of their subconscious public houses Then, they’ll quietly sneak round the sticky corners of your rawest self—of the actual show-up time—like white privilege guilt-trippers always do in the face of the real ghetto into invisibility into convenience into convention into covering for him--he is their son, after all (even if they would say they didn’t raise him to act like this) there are twins here for sure, but never once (or ever) a twin flame. To the comforts of conformity, even your last lighthouses will bend Away from responsibility and respectability Away from decency and all their debts you owe Away from everything you thought they’d be weddings don’t count, didn’t you know? Ohhh.......You thought they meant always? worse: you thought they meant like you do—didn’t you? Oh what a laugh-a-minute you are Remember? They even told you how funny and fun you are for parties they don’t admit going to What a lift you give to others, they praise! What a joy to all their days! you should always be around, except when you shouldn’t. and you, precious little idiot, you believed there weren’t any shouldn’ts just because you don’t have any for them—didn’t you? Awww....did you write them a Valentine too? Ha. Sorry, but the joke’s absolutely on you. When you’ve been dead about a week curled up like a conch

on the kitchen floor crying hysterically, on the hour every hour, like a beaten child and every bit as confused watching the door and mapping the bruise This is when you’ll realize that they have always been irrelevant It was only ever your heart feasting on the time their mouse your elephant --trunk and memory, that is. For a flash your tear-gasps will morph into insano-giggles as you imagine telling them to go fuck themselves straight off Then you dream of tricking them into a lunch date where really you’re going to FedEx their whole human bodies, post haste, to the same ruinous wasteland where they’ve so nonchalantly annexed you But you can’t find the address. Even after sifting meticulously through whatever shards remain of your blown-out heart, it isn’t there. Damn. Lucifer probably bought it off Judas and stuffed the only copy in his back pocket for safekeeping. in Hell all the prettiest ones are sooo smart. like they always said you were Funny. Rolling over to try and die one more time again, you will bump noses with the one and only Michael Hutchence, right there stretched out next to you, but not quite how you always dreamed it rather like a canebrake of the afterlife like an invigilator this is autoplatonic strangulation after all Devil Inside and that Oh God, how you love(d) that bacchus boy Oh Mab, how you willed this fall Eventually, once you’ve died all you can die and died some more something invisible will remind you of Patti Smith and you’ll remember that you have to get up off the kitchen floor You still have to get up every day and dress in battered menswear like her so you can write revolutionary poems—but be the kind of skinny only artistic girls can get Even if you don’t yet have a Robert Mapplethorpe to switch stripey shirts with in the paint-spatter of afternoon light Even if you still relentlessly wait for them, sometimes, late later, latest in the grin-less night.

Dana Miller is a giggling wordsmith and mega-melomaniac from Atlanta, Georgia. When not wielding a lethal pen, she adores surf culture, Australian grunge rockers, muscle cars, Epiphone guitars, glitter, Doc Martens, and draft horses. Oxford, England is her spirit-home and Radiohead is holding the last shard of her girlhood heart.

[lynelovespopculture]

CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA-CHAPTER 1-PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE

“Are you lost, child?” Zelda asked.

The poor child turned sharply, eyes huge and wet, breathing hard.

“Hush, now. Calm yourself.” Zelda knelt, which was hard given the full skirts of her despised dress.  But she finally made it and with a hand wiped the girl’s tears. “What is your name?”

“Katherine.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

“Who are you?” asked Katherine.

“I’m Lady Blackwood,” Zelda announced, loud enough to be heard just in  case some else was down here.

“Father  Blackwood’s wife?”

“Yes.”

“I am lost,” Katherine confessed. “I’m new.”

“Oh?” Zelda began to walk with the child. “How long have you been with us?”

“Only 8 days,”  Katherine answered.

“8 days?” Zelda felt like the wind was knocked out of her. Katherine must have arrived on the day of Ambrose’s aborted execution. How horrible for the child. Katherine was looking up at her and Zelda realized she had not spoken in a while. “Let’s get you to bed.”

As the student’s rooms were the 2nd floor, Katherine was really lost as she was found on the 1st floor. As Zelda led the girl upstairs, she noticed a light in  Faustus’s office was still on. He was working late again. Not that she was complaining,  but ever since the council stripped him of the title of anti-pope, Faustus had holed up in his office. Zelda barely saw him until he sent for her. Zelda did wonder what he did all day. After she got Katherine into bed, Zelda went up to the 3rd floor and entered her own chamber. She found Prudence and Judas. Judas had his own chamber,  of course, but poor Prudence only had a  small stool in that room that couldn’t possibly be comfortable. To remedy this, Zelda told her stepdaughter that if she ever felt too sleepy or simply couldn’t take it anymore, she should place Judas in his portable bassinette and use Zelda’s bed for the night. After all, now that she was married, Zelda had every right to use Faustus’s room.  Zelda pulled up the covers and tucked Prudence tight. The girl stirred but didn’t awaken. Zelda smiled as she watched the girl and peek in on the baby. Her stepchildren, one of many reasons she still put up with this farce of a marriage. Zelda sighed as she crossed the room and opened the doors that separated her chambers from her husband’s and froze. Faustus was seated in a chair, reading a book.

Too late. He saw her.

“Zelda, dearest.”

“Husband.” Zelda found her fake smile on her face once again. It had been 9 days since Hilda had broken the Caligari spell and Zelda found it harder each day to be in Faustus’s presence let alone be his little life. Yesterday she saw Nicholas walk Sabrina home. Zelda longed to go home, longed to have supper with Sabrina and Ambrose, longed to fall asleep next to Hilda.

“It’s late. Why aren’t you in bed?” Faustus’s question jolted her back to reality.

“I was just tending to the children.”

“And what are you  doing here?”

“I missed you.” Zelda lied. Of course, Zelda couldn’t tell the truth, that Prudence was in her bed and Zelda didn’t ask permission because that stupid spell was broken. “You work so hard and so long at night lately that sometimes I sleep in your  bed just pick up your  scent and feel closer to you.”

He looked at her and there it was again. It was quick as lighting, but Zelda saw it. His eyes were soft again. During their brief marriage, his hard eyes had gone soft on a few occasions and that gave Zelda hope. Hope for what, she wasn’t sure. Meanwhile, Faustus’s finger flew up to his nose but not before a single drop of blood fell on the open page.

“Are you alright?” Zelda asked.

“What? Oh, yes, yes.” Faustus dismissed as he wiped his nose with his handkerchief before he put his book aside and stood. He walked to Zelda and put his arm around her waist and roughly drew his wife to him. “So, you missed me, eh?” He kissed her passionately. Zelda much rather smack her husband than kiss him but damn her to heaven if she didn’t like it just as she liked the hours of lovemaking that followed. Long after Faustus was snoring, Zelda was left wondering. Wondering how she never felt guilty about having sex with Faustus when he was married to another woman, but she felt massive waves of guilt by enjoying making love to her own husband, of course, he was the husband who stole her mind and destroys her family. Odder still, even though he was laying right next to her, she missed him. She missed the Faustus she knew; the boy she grew up with, the man who respected her, the man she had married, this wasn’t him!! Zelda looked to him in the dark, unsure if she should silt his throat or bust into tears. As sleep finally claimed Zelda,  today’s berries lay forgotten on her vanity in the next room.

 Today was the day. That was the first thought that popped into Zelda Spellman’s mind as she opened her eyes. Zelda sat up in bed and found that Hilda was still asleep. Zelda couldn’t her luck, Hilda was always up first. Normally, Zelda wouldn’t have noticed or cared who got up first but this morning the older sister treasured the silence and longed for a walk alone in the woods before breakfast. Zelda got out of bed and moved as soundlessly as could, getting dressed, going downstairs and out the front door without waking a soul. It was a  beautiful morning right on the cusp of summer. It had been 3 months since they had beaten the pagans and had established the Order of Hecate. No one knew where Blackwood, Agatha, and the twins were. The twins,  Zelda sighed, it hurt to think about the 2  babies, she delivered a year ago and had cared for as a stepmother were now somehow, 15 and missing again. To bury her pain over the twins and her anger at their father, Zelda buried herself in work, in school and church, so much so that Hilda voiced her concern more than once. Deep down, Zelda knew she was proving her usefulness that the coven wouldn’t kick her out that moment they discovered her secret. Zelda came to a stone altar and knelt before it.

“Hecate, mother, I thank thee for keeping my family and I safe these past months. Please give me strength and courage to tell my family and coven my…secret now that the deadline has  passed and may that grant me mercy and understanding for my decision.”

Zelda could smell breakfast and hear Hilda puttering around in the kitchen the moment she opened the door.

 “Zelds? Is that you?”

“Yes, Hilda. It’s me.”

Zelda went down the hall and into the kitchen. Hilda stopped humming as her sister came into view. “Well, good morning, Zelda! Where have you been so early this morning?”

Zelda didn’t think it possible for happy go lucky Hilda to get any chipper in the morning but now that she was engaged to Dr. Cerberus, the town’s eccentric bookstore owner, she was constantly walking on air. Usually, this would have annoyed Zelda to no end but even she has to admit the pair was perfect together even if Zelda still cringed when she thought about how she first reacted to the news that Hilda was engaged, she accursed her sister of abandoning the coven. That had been the fear talking, after all, marriage had not been kind to Zelda, and she had known Faustus a lot longer than Hilda knew her intended.

“I got up early and went for a walk  in the woods.” Zelda dismissed as she walked into the room and leaned against the island opposite Hilda. Well, here goes nothing, I guess. “Sister, I have something to tell you.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, Zelda, I know exactly what you’re going to say.”

Zelda was frozen to her spot. “You do?!” Zelda thought she had kept her secret hidden so well.

“Of course,”  Hilda replied, smiling. “My new class timetables. You wanted to remind  me that starting today I have 3 herbalism classes, not 2.”

Zelda let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “No! I mean, yes yes, you do, but I mean, I have to tell you something else.”

“Alright, then. What?”

“Hilda, I’m, I’m” Come on, Zelda scolded herself. Just 1 more word and it’s out there! Just 1 more word and Hilda could aid in this conversation. “Sister, I’m-“

“Good morning, Aunties!”  Before Zelda could spit out that all-important word, Ambrose zipped in, chipper as Hilda but he wasn’t fooling anyone. His good mood was false. Both Spellman sisters knew heartbreak when they saw it. Zelda let Hilda tend to these matters, she was better at it. Yet Hilda was still looking at Zelda.

“Zelds? You were saying?”

It didn’t seem right to tell the family at once, not yet. She needed to get Hilda alone. Tell her first, sister to sister. Zelda would use Hilda’s reaction to gauge if she could stay in the coven. If even her sweet-temper sister couldn’t accept this, Zelda didn’t have a prayer. “Um…We talk later, Hildy.” Zelda waved her hand dismissively and went to the fridge to  get herself an apple juice before joining Ambrose at the table.

“So, Ambrose love,” Hilda started. “Have you spoke to Prudence  lately?”

“Prudence?” Ambrose’s tone as if he barely knew the girl. “No, we’re not speaking but it’s okay. I’m over it.”

“Really? It doesn’t sound like it to me.” Hilda spoke gently.

“I’m fine!”

“You know, Ambrose,” Zelda cut in. “If you want to take a leave of absence from the Academy, I can make it happen.”

Ambrose was calming down. “Thanks for the offer, Aunt Zee, but I’m finally starting to like being librarian.”

“Okay,  but the offer still stands.”

All 3 were quiet and soon there was footsteps to be heard.

“Good morning, everyone.”

“Save by the cousin.” Ambrose muttered.

Sabrina took her seat as Hilda put the bacon on the table and the Spellmans started their morning meal.

“Interesting.” Ambrose mused as he read the newspaper. “It appears that the front-page story in the Greendale Gazette is a schoolyard fight at Greendale Elementary. 911 had  to be called and everything!”

Sabrina made a face. “To an elementary school?”

“How terrible.” Added Hilda, you must have thought so too when you read the paper, Zelds.”

“Oh.” Zelda seemed off in her own world. “I didn’t read the newspaper this morning.”

Suddenly, Zelda felt 3 sets of eyes staring at her in shock.

“Aunt Zelda, you always read the paper, especially in the morning,” Sabrina said.

“And usually more than 1.” Pointed out Ambrose.

Hilda covered her sister’s hand with her own. “Zelda? Are you  alright!”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Zelda leaped to her feet. “I’ve been busy, that’s all! Honestly, getting all bent out shape because I didn’t read a newspaper! Now, if you’ll excuse me,  I have a school to run.” Zelda took only 1 step before bending to whisper into Hilda’s ear, “If you find any spare time today, come see me in my office.” Zelda watched her nod and then Zelda left.

 The Academy of the Unseen Art was just a short drive away from the Spellman house. This school had always been part of Zelda’s life. She had first been a student here as a girl, just as Hilda was as well as their brother, Edward. Unlike her siblings, Zelda had joined the ranks of the Academy’s teaching almost as soon as she had finished her studies. Edward, like many young warlocks before him, felt the urge to travel and see the world after finishing at the academy. He came back, of course, once the church of night named high priest, he was also named headmaster despite not having spent 1 day of teaching. Some years later, Zelda grew restless and decided to join Hilda,  who now lived in England and both sisters became mid-wives. Once Ambrose was old enough to enroll in the academy himself, they all came home and  Zelda spent years known as the coven’s most famous mid-wife, renowned for never losing a baby. Shortly after delivering the twins, Zelda returned to teaching. A month after Blackwood tried to poison the entire coven, the Academy was reopened with Zelda as its headmistress as well as the founder of the Order of Hecate. Zelda walked into the school, smiling and nodding at the students who welcomed her and bid her good morning. This place is finally starting to get back to normal, Zelda thought, and her secret had the power to destroy the normality yet again. Zelda shook it away as she entered her office. Someone was already waiting for her.

“Good morning, ma Cherie.” The voodoo witch greeted her with a  bright smile.

“Marie.” Zelda liked Marie, truly she did. In the past 3 months, they had shared a few kisses and dinner dates but no farther. Zelda had told Marie she wanted to take it slow, Zelda claimed she didn’t have much experience with relationships. It was a lie, of course, but Zelda wanted to stay covered up right now. The truth was Zelda should have never kissed Marie in the first place, but it had happened right after the shooting and Zelda thought the bullseye was off her, but she was wrong and she had no right to drag Marie or anyone else down with her. Plus, no mattered how hard Zelda tried, the kisses when Marie, had nowhere near the passion she always felt with Faustus. Zelda had to nip this in the bud.

“Are we still going to dinner, tonight?” Marie wanted to know.

Zelda sighed as she reached her desk. “No, Marie, we’re not.”

“That’s alright, Cherie. I know you’re busy.”

Zelda’s knees buckled under her and she was grateful that her chair was there to catch her. Did Marie have to so nice? Could she feel any more guilty? Zelda tried again.

“Marie, I’m just talking about tonight’s dinner. I’ve enjoyed our time together, truly I have. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue our relationship.”

Marie frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” Zelda stressed. “Not at all. It’s just that I had a lot of…personal business I need to deal with right now, and I need to focus on that right now, that’s all.���

Marie was silent for a few moments. “Can we still be friends?”

Zelda smiled. “I’ll love that.”

“Can I still teach here?”

“Of course. The children adore you.” The headmistress responded.

“Good. I was thinking about an protection spell dancing class.” Then Marie started to dance around Zelda’s office, but she wasn’t looking where she was going and crashed into a globe that was next to the fireplace and even tripped over it.

“On my! “ Zelda got up and rushed over to the woman. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,”  Marie said between her laughter.  Marie tried to help Zelda help her up by gripping the side of the fireplace and as she did, her palm pressed a small button. Both women heard a click.

“What was that?” Marie asked.

Zelda helped Marie up and looked around until she saw it. A panel on a nearby wall was slightly crooked.

“That wasn’t there before.” Zelda walked to the wall and reached out a hand to move the panel but got distracted by her watch. “Is that really the time? We’ll be late for morning assembly!”

 After morning assembly and 2 classes, Zelda went back to her office to do some paperwork. An hour later, Hilda came in.

“Hey, Zelda.  You wanted to see me?”

Zelda laid down her pen on the stack of papers she was reading and looked up at her sister. “Yes, Hilda, I did. Please close the door and take a seat.”

Hilda obeyed and as she sat, Zelda stood up and walked over to be closer to Hilda. She leaned against the desk. “Hildy, I would like to continue our conversation from this morning.”

Hilda nodded. “The one before Ambrose came in.”

“Yes.” Zelda bit her lip and started pacing. “I have some news to tell you.”

Hilda’s eyes widened.  “Is it Father Blackwood? Have someone found him?”

Zelda shook her head. “No, not yet.”

“It    is Agatha?” Hilda continued. “The twins? Oh, are there new pagans?”

“Hilda!” the older sister snapped. “We are not playing 20 questions! I need you to focus and listen to  me right now!”

Hilda nodded. “Of course, yeah, sorry.”

Zelda sighed and started yet again. “Sister, I need you to brace yourself. I have big, life-altering news.”

“Now I’m really on the edge of my seat.”

Zelda took a step forward. “Hilda, I’m going to-“

Before  Zelda could finish her sentence, there was a knock at the door  before Dr. C poked his head in. “Hello, Ladies!”

“Hey, Love!” Hilda jumped up, rushing to the door to greet  her fiancé with a kiss, so happy to see him that she missed when Zelda hung her head in frustrated defeat.

“What are you doing here?” Hilda asked with a smile.

“Well, the shop was rather slow this morning, so I thought why not pack up a basket and take my best girl for a picnic.” Dr. C explained. “Unless you’re busy here, of course.”

Hilda felt torn. “Technically, I’m free. I mean, my next class  isn’t for 2 hours but Zelda been trying to tell me something all day and-“

“Hildy,”  Zelda took her sister’s hand. “Go on. Have fun.”

“Are you sure?”

Zelda nodded and gave a small smile.

“Ok,” Hilda agreed. “But after school, it’s you and me, Zelda. I don’t care if we have to lock our doors and unplug  the phones, we’re finishing this conversation.” The blonde witch said before leaving with Dr. C.

After they were gone, Zelda slammed her hands on the desk and groaned. By the way, things were going, Zelda wouldn’t have to tell anyone her secret, it would be perfectly obvious all by itself. A moment later, Zelda was calm and collective as ever, returned to her paperwork. Moments later, she could hear footsteps coming.

“Did you forget something, Hilda?”

“I’m not your sister, Lady Blackwood.”

As soon as she heard his voice, Zelda was on her feet. There he was, Lucifer Morningstar, Satan himself, was no more than 10 feet away from her and she was completely alone!

Don’t show him you’re scared, Zelda thought. Out loud, she said, “And I’m no longer Lady Blackwood. That title is not welcome in this school, neither are you!”

“I don’t know what’s sadder,” Lucifer said. “You, Zelda Blackwood, were one of my most faithful followers and now what are you? Not only have you turned against me but also your husband. You’re a  bride, who abandoned her   marriage after, what is it, 8 months?”

“It’s laughable that you lecture me about abandoning my marriage when we are standing in the very room I was married in, but no one has seen Faustus in months. As for my faith, I will turn my back on anyone who tries to hurt my family, husband or dark lord.

 “Blackwood is a fool; I’ll give you that.”

“Yet, I don’t believe you’re here to   play marriage counselor.”

“How clever. I require a mid-wife and I heard you’re the  best.”

“I am,” Zelda confirmed. “But why you are asking me?  Are there no mid-wives in hell?”

Lucifer considered this. “Shockingly few. Besides, as the mother of my newest child is a witch, I would prefer a witch mid-wife.”

“And this poor soul who carries your child,  anyone I know?”

“Actually, yes. It’s Lilith.”

“Lilith? She must have run straight back into your arms right after I turned her away. I knew I couldn’t trust her.” Zelda muttered to herself.

“Sort of into my arms.” His smile was maddening. “So,   you’ll help us?”

Zelda shrugged. “I don’t know why I should.”

Lucifer looked at her like she was mad. “It is a great honor to serve me.”

“But I don’t serve you anymore. I thought we covered that.”

“Fine. Attend to Lilith’s pregnancy and I won’t tell Blackwood of your…precious secret.”

For the second time that day, Zelda sat down hard on her desk chair. “You know about that?”

“I am  the great Satan, Zelda Blackwood, I know everything.”

Stay strong Zelda. She thought then by sheer will, forced her voice to remain even. “Then you must know how weak your deal is. This is not the kind of secret one can keep to oneself forever and then I have lost my motivation for being Lilith’s midwife.”

To Zelda’s utter amazement, Lucifer laughed. “You drive a hard bargain, I respect that and because I’m in a fine mood, I’ll offer you a better deal. Keep your secret and I’ll make it worth your while.”

“I don’t need money.”

Lucifer smirked. “Who said anything about money? I pay you in  information.”

Zelda got up and went over to him. “What are you talking about? What information?”

He stared at her in silence for the longest time and then finally asked, “Do you really think that Sabrina being my daughter was Edward Spellman’s only secret?”

Then, before Zelda could respond, faster than the blink of an eye, the dark lord was gone. Zelda wrapped her arms around herself and waited for the shaking to stop.

 The choir was Zelda’s last period of the day. The choir had practiced in the church, as usual. The class had already been dismissed so Zelda was alone and collecting the songbooks when Hilda came in and gently knocked on the opened door.

“Zelda? Is now a good time?”

The red-haired woman glanced up just long enough to see who was at the door. “How was lunch?”

“It was lovely, as usual,” Hilda answered as she walked closer to the church. “But I spent most of the afternoon worrying about you. I know you have something important to tell me and I know you been trying all day to tell me. I know I said we would until we got home to talk but I’m done for the day and you seem to be wrapping up here. So, should we go back to your office or we can talk here, or we can stick to the origin-“

Zelda didn’t even let her sister finish the sentence. “Hilda, I’m pregnant.”

“What?!” Hilda’s eyes hadn’t been this big since she was a bug. She sat down in the front pew.

“So now you know.” Zelda finished picking up the songbooks and placed them in the correct cabinet before taking a seat beside her sister. The pair were silent for several moments, both for different reasons. Hilda, trying to digest the new information and Zelda,  both terrified and relieved she finally told someone.

Hilda spoke first. “Are you  sure?”

Zelda nodded. “Yes. 100% certain.”

Hilda then got an idea. “Is that why Mambo Marie said you broke up with her this morning? Not that I’m judging Zelds, sometimes you meet, and things happen fast. It was like that with me and Dr. C”.

“No, Hilda, you’re not getting it.” Zelda stood up. “This baby is not the result of a random one-night stand or of some new relationship with some new warlock I just met, though sometimes I think that would be easier. No, sister, there’s a reason I waited until today to tell you about it. It’s because of today I’m 7 months pregnant.”

Hilda closed her eyes in understanding. As both sisters  were midwives, they both knew that according to witch law, no one, not even the the council could force a witch to end her pregnancy after she had reached her 7th month.

“Plus,” Zelda continued.  “7 months ago, I was still in my marriage bed as Lady Blackwood. This is Faustus’s child.”

“Wait a minute.” Hilda tilted her to the side. “How can you 7 months pregnant? You were shot only 4 months ago.”

“Yes!  Exactly!” Zelda was so glad that her sister had brought up this point. “I first discovered I  was pregnant right before we reopened the school and I was so unsure how I felt about it that I kept the news completely to myself. Then I was shot, and I was sure I had lost the baby, after all, I was barely out of my first trimester. Yet, after we defeated the pagans and things calmed down, I took another test just to be certain. I was expecting a  negative so imagine my surprise when it came back positive. Yet, what really shocked  me was how relieved and even happy I was that I was still pregnant. That was the day I realized that I love my baby, Hilda and I don’t care what I must do, I will see this child born. Even if I’m thrown out of this coven, even if-“ Zelda had to clear her throat before she could continue. “Even if you and the children decide to disown me from the family.”

Hilda jumped up and grabbed her sister’s hands. “Zelda Spellman! We would never, ever disown you, never! You are a Spellman and so is the baby inside you, regardless of who the bloody father is! It’s actually amazing when you think about it.”

“I know.”  Zelda was now openly crying. Tears of relief that someone finally shared her secret and tears of happiness that despite everything, Hilda was being so accepting. “I mean, I still have this baby against all the odds.”

“This baby was meant to born. And I can already tell this little one is as strong and as stubborn as you are.”

“Thank you, Hilda. I think.”

“Don’t worry about the coven, Zelds”

“Of course, I’m worried!” objected the redhead. “It’s not bad enough that I’m the wife of the man who tried to poison all of them and now I have to tell them that I’m carrying his next child? They’ll hate me!”

“They won’t hate you,” Hilda assured. “For you are the woman who put this coven back together. You reopened the school and you never gave up until you found a way to restore our powers without having to go back to the dark lord.”

When Hilda  mentioned the  dark lord, Zelda mentally went  back to the strange conversation with Lucifer. She didn’t know what to make about it. She knew she would a fool to trust the father of lies, but of course, he knew exactly how to get under her skin. Do you really think that Sabrina being my daughter was Edward Spellman’s only secret? The question had haunted Zelda all afternoon. Of course, she didn’t what to believe the devil over her own brother, but Edward had kept a huge secret about his daughter and Zelda wasn’t sure that Edward couldn’t have taken more secrets to the grave with him.

“Hey, where did you go just now?” Hilda looked worried.

“It’s just been an extremely crazy day.”

“Well, let’s go home. It’s way past time you have a complete physical exam.”

Zelda smiled. “Are you speaking as my sister or as my midwife?”

“Both.”

The sisters left the church together when Hilda said, “You know you can tell  me anything at all, you know.”

“In that  case, Hildy, you will  not believe who came to see me today.”

 The 3  Cerberus brothers all own cottages near the lake. It has become a family tradition to bring the whole family down to spend some time there during the summer. The oldest brother and his wife never had kids, but Hilda cherished her role as an aunt. This summer was very special for Hilda for the 3 people she loved as her own were all here with her. It was here, on a beautiful August morning that Cordelia Spellman awoke to golden sunshine and wonderful breakfast smells. After a quick shower, Cordelia dressed and made sure the gold necklace of the half-moon that her parents gave her before she could remember and she always wore was straight before heading downstairs.

“Aunt Hil?” Cordelia called out when she found no one in sight downstairs. “Uncle C?”

“Out here, cousin.” Came a voice, a voice  Cordelia knew well but couldn’t believe she was hearing.

She ran  out to the patio and saw that she wasn’t crazy. “Ambrose!”

“Good morning to you too, little cuz!” Ambrose enjoyed the hug his cousin gave him.

“You haven’t been in the US for months. When did you get here?”

“Late last night,” Ambrose answered. “And I brought you a surprise.”

“Really? What?”

“Hi, Cordy!”

Cordelia whirled around and gave a shriek. “Sabrina!” The two hugged. “I thought you were still helping out with Harvey’s art show in Boston.”

“I  did. I’m back.  Harvey, Roz, and baby Cassie all send their love.”

“Man, no one tells me anything. I’m always the last to know.”

Ambrose smiled. “No offense, Cordy but  you are only 12.”

Cordelia gave her male cousin the death stare. “Yes, Ambrose, I’m aware of that fact, thank you.”

Ambrose pointed. “That’s Auntie Z’s tone right there, and Hecate helped me I think I’ve even missed that.”

 Sabrina put an arm around Cordelia. “That tone, your red hair, you look more and more like your mother every day.”

Cordelia smiled. “That’s exactly what Auntie Hilda says.”

Soon, Hilda and Dr. C came out of the kitchen and breakfast began. Cordelia was thrilled; big family meals were her favorite and they were getting rarer and rarer. The only people who were missing were her parents, but they were at home with the twins. The twins, Cordelia thought with a sigh. They were her half-siblings, yet she barely knew them. Judas and Judith had been lost to the family almost their entire lives. Pawns in a seemingly never-ending tag of war between the Spellmans and  Blackwood. Of course, Blackwood never really cared for the twins, he just wanted them as weapons. Cordelia groaned and shook her head. Her parents had made her promise not to worry and just enjoy her week at the lake. It was a  promise she intended to keep. Although Dr. C and Hilda had no kids of their own, Dr. C’s 2 brothers had 6 kids each, so Cordelia had many people to play with. They went swimming almost every day and a bonfire to roast weenies, make smores and sing songs almost nightly. Cordelia loved coming here each summer. Mortal lives seemed much simpler. Of course, Cordelia wasn’t a  mortal and her relaxing vacation came to a halt during an afternoon basketball game when Cordelia spotted a dark-haired boy that was leaning against a tree and watching her.  Before anyone could notice it, Cordelia ran off the court and up to the boy.

“What are you doing here, Zander?”  Her voice sounded annoyed.

“Is that what mortals do all day? Bouncing an orange  ball on a hot road?”

“Would you prefer brimstone?” Cordelia crossed her arms. “Something tells me you’re not here to learn the finer points of  basketball.”

“Fine, I come with a warning. Blackwood wants his twins back. I’m only warning you  because you are my bride-to-be.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Not this again! Zander, I will never marry you! You have been asking me to marry since we understand what the ‘marry’ means and I always turn you down. Plus, it doesn’t surprise that your father is having trouble with his new adviser. Everyone knows that  Blackwood isn’t trustworthy.”

Zander smirked. “Fine way to  speak of your father.”

“Blackwood is not my father!” Cordelia objected violently. “He’s no one’s father! He’s not even a person. Blackwood is nothing but a curse that is wearing my true father’s skin. A curse that my father is so ashamed of that he changed his name to Faustus Spellman. They would have destroyed the curse long ago if your mother hadn’t given him the mark of  Cain. So as far as I’m concerned, Blackwood, you and your father can go stick it!”

“How dare you speak to me like that! I am Alexander Morningstar. Son of the great Satan and his handmaiden, Lilith. I’m the crown prince of hell!”

I’m Cordelia Spellman, daughter of Faustus and Zelda Spellman. A worshipper of the goddess Hecate, beloved of the moon and stars. As my family  has not worshipped your father since before, we born I didn’t know  why you keep bothering me!”

“I told you Blackwood is coming after your family!”

“Blackwood is always coming after my family!” Cordelia dismissed and started to walk away.

“Hey, don’t walk away from me!” He grabbed her arm.

“Don’t touch me!” Cordelia turned around and held up her hand. Suddenly, Zander felt a force pushing him back until his back hit the tree trunk. “I think  your father is calling you.” Cordelia mocked.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Zander said before he disappeared before her eyes.

 Late the next night, the Spellmans pulled up before the mortuary. Only Cordelia got out of the car, because Sabrina, Hilda, and Dr. C all lived in town and Ambrose teleported himself to the school to get some work done before calling quits for the night. Once Cordelia had gotten her bags inside and had taken off her coat, Cordelia was about to call out when she heard soft talking coming from the living room. She went in and there were her parents, only they weren’t alone. Faustus and Zelda sat together in the middle of the sofa, while Judith who was asleep, took up half  the sofa, her head on Faustus’s lap.  Judas was also asleep only he was on the floor, his head on his father’s shoe. Cordelia took this as a good sign, usually when the twins were out of the dollhouse and normal-sized, they were screaming and throwing things. Not that Cordelia blamed them; when you’re raised by an insanity curse, there’s bound to be trauma.

“Hi, mom, hi dad. How are they?” Cordelia gestured to the twins.

“Today was a good day,” Zelda said.

“But we have a long way to go.” Added Faustus.

It wasn’t until Cordelia went to kiss her mother’s cheek that she saw the pain in her eyes. Zelda cared for the twins as if they were her very own. True, she wasn’t their birth mother, but she had been the midwife that delivered them. Zelda had even given the girl twin her original name of Leticia and had cared for both twins before and after she had become their stepmother. She had lost 15 years with them because Blackwood had raised them in some crazy time bubble. He had also taught them to hate all Spellmans, which is Judas preferred the floor rather than sit next to Zelda. Cordelia solved this by flopping down on the couch,   tossing her legs over the side, placing her head in Zelda’s lap and putting her mother’s arm around her.

She was rewarded with a smile. “So, how was the lake?”

“Fun and relaxing, as usual.” Cordelia normally would have mentioned her visit from the crown prince of hell, but Zander didn’t say anything that couldn’t wait until breakfast, so she chatted  with her parents until her breathing as even as the twins.

Zelda smiled down at her preteen daughter than looked to her husband. “I think we just lost another one.”

However, Faustus looked very far away. “Where’s Prudence?”

“At the academy, I think, prepping for the new school year. Why? Did you need her?”

“Oh no, dearest. I just can’t believe that, for the first time ever, I know where all 4 of my children are.”

Zelda placed her head on his shoulder, lacing her fingers with his. “We’re going to keep the twins this time, Faustus, I can feel it.”

“I don’t deserve you, Zelda.” He breathed into her hair. “Any of you.”

“Faustus, darling, you need to stop saying that. I know how hard you worked to return to me and how hard you work every single  day to conquer your demons.”

“I know I said this before but when you chose me, I vowed to become a better man, one that would be worthy of you.”

“And here we are” Zelda smiled “13 years later and there has not been a second that I’ve regretted it.  That’s why I love you. That’s why I trust you.”

Faustus kissed his wife, long and deep. “What do you say we tuck these kids in and go to bed ourselves.”

“Good idea. I’m tired.”

“You are? Pity.” Faustus teased.

His wife laughed and kissed him. “I’m never that tired.” She whispered.

Getting 3 people upstairs and into bed would be a hassle but not for witches. With just a snap of the fingers, everyone was in the correct rooms. Faustus and Zelda went to the attic with the twins. Yes, they were adults in age, but the twins had been through so much trauma that they acted much younger. It made Faustus’s blood boiled to think of it as he tucked Judith in and make sure all the good luck charms and dreamcatchers were in place while Zelda finished with Judas. They went down to the second floor, stopping at Cordelia’s door, which was Sabrina’s old room, to check on their daughter.

“She looks so small in that big bed.”

Faustus wrapped an arm around his wife’s middle. “Hard to believe that our little mini-you is the most powerful  witch ever born.”

[fear-the-0ld-bl00d]

hello! i was curious, if you feel comfortable discussing it, what does it mean to be a luciferian? i’m not familiar with that term, i’m assuming it’s a religion, but i was just curious what luciferians believe :)

Oh my, this is going to be a long reply but I hope that it will help.

Okay, first of all, I guess I can’t say much about theistic luciferianism from the practical side because of one simple reason - it’s not something I practice. I’m an atheist who finds luciferian philosophy as empowering and simply right, the reasons I will explain later. Just as there is theistic satanism (aka worshippers of devil) and atheistic satanism (good example may be the Church of Satan), there are theistic and atheistic luciferians.

By my understanding, theistic luciferians do believe in God but they find him as the bad guy. From luciferian point of view, he’s a tyrant, a despot. He’s a liar (Eve was told she would die if she had eaten the fruit from the tree of knowledge, which was not true), he’s selfish (guy basically made humans because he wanted someone to worship him and angels weren’t enough), he’s sadistic and cynical for his believers (remember what happened to Hiob?), he destroys everyone who dares to not believe in him or oppose his morality (many stories from the Bible, such as the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah). He tries to defend himself with this whole free will nonsense but at the same time he claims that there’s a special place where everyone who don’t believe in him or does something he doesn’t approve will suffer forever. Simplifing, this is how we, the luciferians, interpret the figure of God.

On the other hand, there’s Lucifer, literally the bearer of the light. He’s the fallen angel who opposed the tyrany of God. He didn’t want to fulfill God’s irrational will and decided to no longer serve him. Because of that, he was banished from the Heaven. He’s the very first rebel against God. While God is seen as a despot, Lucifer is a warrior for our free will. Also, Lucifer is the one who made Eve eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. In other words, he is the one who gave us the knowledge and the ability of critical thinking which is essential in analyzing reality and making rational choices (so he gave us the enlightenment). The fact that this one thing made God mad enough to banish humanity from Eden is another evidence of God’s despotic nature.

So as you can see, in luciferian philosophy Lucifer is the good guy who helped humanity to evolve mentally. Being inspired by Lucifer is to seek knowledge and truth, and to rebel against foolish will of authorities. It may be social constructs, it may be government - just think critically and decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong.

As I stated at the beginning of this post, I can’t say much about theistic luciferianism but I’ve seen that many of these people also practice magic. It’s a kind of occult religion, I guess.

End of the most informative part, let’s get to my personal story related to luciferianism.

So here’s my point of viewl. I’m from country where like 85% of people (and there are over 38 millions of us) claims to be Catholics. I would say that the Catholic Church has a huge impact on politics and general life there especially since a conservative party won last election. One of the things I guess are pretty rare in other countries is the fact that there’s a special lesson of catholicism in school and it’s financed from the government budget (so well basically everyone’s taxes). It’s not compulsory but the sole existence of this subject tells a lot about my country I guess (other religions such as islam don’t have such a lesson in our schools). I liked it in middle school because I had had a nice teacher and we learned mostly about the culture and symbolism of specific scenes and events in the Bible then but when I went to high school I escaped this shit after idk month I guess. The priest showed my class a lecture about ‘exorcisms’ which wasn’t about exorcisms at all - but it surely was about spreading hatred against other religions, other sexual orientations, the victims of rape(!) and women who had abortion (the lecturer literally told something about their wombs being haunted and ghosts of the ‘killed children’ possessing another children of these women). And it’s something common in the Catholic Church there.

But it’s just one of many examples of absurds related to the Catholic Church. A Catholic organisation, Ordo Iuris, tried to reduce already limited abortion laws there. Right now, our women can have abortion only in 3 cases: the pregnancy being caused by prohibited action (such as rape or incest), the pregnancy being a serious threat of women’s life or if there’s a suspicion of a serious defect of fetus (such as Down syndrome or toxoplasmosis). The Ordo Iuris wanted to deprive women of the second option, forcing them to give birth at cost of own life. Aaaand the Catholic Church there obviously approved. Fortunately, because of huge and loud protests it hadn’t enter into force.

Something like half a year ago there was finally a sentence in case of a young girl being several times raped by a priest. She had been held in his mother’s apartment, raped and tortured for long time. As an adult, she’s in ruin now, had had several suicide attempts and will never know the peace. He ruined her. And the judge decided that his order should pay her a huge (about 259700 $) reparation. Well, it pissed Catholics off. Many people attacked her on social platforms and it hadn’t even been regular citizens. Even politicians and important journalist mocked her saying things like ‘even whores don’t get so much money’. She tried to kill herself again. She still lives and I hope that she’s better now. This is the Catholic love of neighbor there.

Saying about recent scandals, during Lent, one of parish in Gdańsk decided to make an event for children. They had to bring things related with other religions or occultism in their homes and then... Burn it outside the church. Like, what the heck??? Among burned things were books like Harry Potter but also a traditional African mask. The Church there literally burns things related to other religions or cultures. Also, few days ago there was a huge scandal because of Burning of Judas in one town. It’s a kind of an old folk ritual and there wouldn’t be anything special about that if... their Judas wasn’t designed after the stereotypes about Jews. It had huge nose, payots, and a big wide-brimmed hat. People beat it (encouraging children to do the same), then cut off it’s head and burned the doll at the stake. And that day was an anniversary of the beginning of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. Do I have to say more?

As you can see, because of many reasons I guess I have a right to be angry and see this institution there as a bunch of dangerous fools. I don’t have anything against Catholics in general and I mourned the victims of Sri Lanka, but the very institution is just toxic for the society. In my opinion and regarding history, the Catholic Church had always been against people and progress, both cultural and scientific. Because of that, I do and I will oppose them and their tyranny, just like Lucifer once did. He’s my role model and encourages me both to rebel against injustice in society and to improve myself as a person and a scholar.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk *drops the microphone*

[falselyimbruedinfear]

@vessuvius

       “Dude, are you the father or something?” Judas waves his hand in front of Lin’s zoned out face, eyebrow arched and lips curling into a slight snicker. “It’s not that bad. She could always get an abortion.” The demon rolls his eyes. Zoning out in the middle of a “small get together” was one thing; zoning out in the middle of it while a girl was having a complete breakdown over finding out she’s pregnant was another. “Still, you’re in my way. Mind handing me the vodka behind you? Or taking off your pants? Can’t tell if I’m thirsty for liquor or thirsty for dick, really.”

[god-whispers]

feb 24

it seems the world is in turmoil again.  no, not again, but still.  we have been forewarned about these days and we do well to recognize things as they occur.  i can just hear people saying, this is no different than how things have always been.  there have always been wars and disputes.  there have always been tyrants and those who lusted for power.

the thing is, it is not just one of the signs we are witnessing.  it is the culmination of them all.  we can now understand how it would be possible for people not be able to buy or sell without authorization.  we now see lawlessness abounding and our youth in rebellion.   just this morning i was reading that an amazing 64% of men in their thirties have criminal records.

we see the turmoil coming upon the earth with increasing frequency.  can the signs in the heaven be far behind?  i believe many have occurred already in the blood moons awhile back and more will surely follow.  people may scoff at these visible things, but i believe there is more hidden and yet to be revealed.  wonders just awaiting.

i don't say any of this to bring fear into people's hearts, although the bible tells us that in the last days men's hearts will fail them because of things coming upon the earth.  i had a friend write me awhile back.  i now quote verbatim.  "i don’t follow or practice any form of religion, and neither does my husband.  i can’t imagine aligning myself with a religion that is just not a safe space for my kids."

i would never disclose anything that would reveal one's identity, but i wonder, how many people are there out there with this opinion?  the bible says, "multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision!  for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision."  joel 3:14  i have a special word for this friend and anyone else with her opinion.  there is only one real "safe space".  that is in the arms of our creator.  that is in the name of Jesus.

years ago, in my early excursion into the deeper things of God, i was sitting in on a deliverance session.  (yes, i believe deliverance is the children's bread, even now.)  as we got deeper into the session, it suddenly came to me (discernment) to ask if this woman had an abortion.  to my surprise, she admitted she had.  the other minister with me then proceeded to bind that baby to the kingdom of God and break curses off it and all such.  i did not agree.  that unborn baby was already "long time" safe in their Father's arms.  it was this woman who had the abortion which needed help now.

if you want a safe space for your child, there is no safer space; born or unborn.  i feel the Lord wants me to share this.  there are so many people out there who don't come to the Lord because they don't feel they are "good enough".  maybe they think they need to "clean up their act" a little first.  friends, none of us are ever good enough.  as the prophet isaiah said, even in the best of us, "we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags".  isa 64:6

the devil is a shrewd enemy.  he would be happy for us to believe either way; that we are good enough on own own, or that we could never be good enough to be accepted.  yes, our God is holy beyond all we could comprehend.  our Lord spoke truth again when He said, "no one is good but One, that is, God."  matt 19:17  and yes, He hates sin with a passion, but He loves His creation.

what one is really saying when they declare themselves unworthy; they are saying the blood of Jesus isn't enough. it might be enough for others, but not for me.  if that were true, the slave trader john newton could never have penned the song "amazing grace".

i remember a story about a man who would not come to Christ because he wouldn't believe a man like hitler could be saved by a simple prayer.  indeed hitler's name has been forever linked to evil.  but hasn't judas' also?  was there hope for either?  i know some may disagree with me, but i believe there was.  from the cross, in the midst of His suffering, Jesus forgave even those who ridiculed and laughed as He relinquished His spirit.

judas turned our Lord in.  peter denied Him not once, but three times.  in matt 27:4 judas, before he killed himself, said, "i have sinned by betraying innocent blood."  peter wept bitterly and repented to His risen Lord.  could judas have done the same if he had lived to see it?   he did not wait to see.

it's not a matter of guilt, but of heart.  if one is sorry because they did something they know was wrong and will now have to pay for it?  i think the focus is still on them and their well being.  compare that to the truly repentant heart which comes and cries, "my God, what have i done.  please forgive me".

is the blood He shed not then enough for that one?  i for one, will never diminish it's power.  from His very lips i now recite, "now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say?  ‘Father, save Me from this hour’?  but for this purpose I came to this hour."  john 12:27  He is and will always "be enough".  yes, more than enough.

linda

[infinitefaithposts]

12/15/2021 Devotional.

Daily Devotional

December 15

39 And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda; 40 And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth. 41 And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: - Luke 1:39-41 (KJV)

The Christmas Story continues. Mary apparently left immediately to go to see Elisabeth and there is no indication that she told Joseph about the visit of the angel and her pregnancy. Can you imagine trying to tell a fiancé that you are a virgin, but you are going to give birth to the Messiah? It is unlikely that Mary tried to tell Joseph about the upcoming birth, and that is indicated by the fact that the bible says she was “found” with child (Matthew 1:18).

Elisabeth was a cousin of Mary’s (Luke 1:36), so it was not unusual for Mary to visit her, but they had not been in communication with one another, as they didn’t have phones, and the angel, and the Holy Spirit, were the ones that conveyed their pregnancies to each other.

What an awesome thing, that when the baby, John, heard the voice of Mary, he leaped in the womb of Elisabeth, and they both were filled with the Holy Ghost (Luke 1:15), when John was only six months from conception (Luke 1:36). This shows that John, at six month’s, was not just a fetus, but was a viable human being, which could hear and jump in the womb. This should let one know that abortion is killing a baby, and is murder, not women’s choice. John the Baptist was the only person that we know of that was filled with the Holy Ghost in the womb and shows that he was a special person to God. Thank you Lord for giving us John the Baptist to make the ministry of Jesus so successful.

Devotional by Pastor Joe W. Green, www.infinite-faith.com

[pamphletstoinspire]

In Defense of The Catholic Church -Confidence in God - by Fr. Bill Casey

- Part 3 of 4

Unless you have been living on another planet in recent years, you know the Church is going through very hard times today. These are some of the darkest days the Church has ever been through. It would be very easy for us to lose confidence in the Mystical Body of Christ. We are living at a time of a severe spiritual and moral decline. The moral foundations of our country and the whole world are crumbling in front of our eyes.

Today, Catholics are falling away from the Church in rapid numbers. Catholics in our country (USA) are under tremendous pressure to conform to the pagan morals of our contemporary culture and millions are given in. How well we know about the phenomenon of the "but" Catholics! I am a Catholic, but the Church is not going to tell me what to do; but I am not going to Mass on Sunday, I am going to worship God in my own way; but I am going to get a divorce, but I believe in abortion! May God save us from the "but" Catholics!

Sociologists tell us that there is now no difference in the rates of divorce, abortion, suicide and crime between Catholics and non-Catholics! Only 25% of American Catholics are still practicing their Faith and only 15% of those age 25 and under. Americans seem to have no trouble in voting for a pro-abortion candidate. May God have mercy on their souls! Scandals in the Church continue and there is horrific corruption among the clergy. The spiritual descendents of Judas are still alive and among us today.

We have to remember that, in the last 2000 years, the Church has been through every kind of evil and dissent, yet no matter how bad things might be in the Church, remember this: The gates of Hell will not prevail against the Church founded by Jesus Christ. God always raises up the greatest Saints in times of crisis and confusion in His Church. The present age is no exception. "Where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more," St. Paul said. We should thank God for this opportunity to practice heroic virtue; thank God for the grace to stand among the remnant of those who still cling to the Faith of our Fathers. This is not an insignificant matter! It makes each one of us – one in a thousand!

In the storm at sea, Christ berates the Apostles for believing He would abandon them in their time of danger. How much like the apostles can we be at times! How ready we are to believe in some of the darkest hours of our lives that somehow Our Lord would abandon us and depart from us when it is precisely at those times, He is always closest to us and ready to help us with His saving Grace.

In everyone's life, there will be times of hardship, crisis, personal tragedy, loss; times of sickness, sorrow, failure, times when the Cross will touch our lives and put our Faith to the test. Those kinds of storms can arise all of a sudden and without warning, and there is always the danger that they will overwhelm us and sweep us away, unless we put all our faith, hope and trust in the One who knows us, loves us and cares for us more than we do ourselves. St. Peter said: "Cast all your cares upon the Lord because He cares for you."

Suffering is nothing new to the people of God. There have been many times in the history of the Church when Catholics have been called upon in great numbers to suffer and die for their Faith. More Catholics died in the persecutions of the bloody 20th Century, than at any time since Our Lord founded the Church. This is a historical fact. Eight million Catholics died in the Ukraine under Stalin in the 1930s. When is the last time you heard about the Holocaust? Millions of others died in Russia, China, Lithuania, Poland, Spain, Mexico, Albania, Armenia, Korea, Sudan, and many other countries around the world.

The Church endures through all the persecutions and all the wars and disasters, in Revolutions, upheaval and every attempt to destroy Her. Through every Century, the Church has proven that She can stand the test of time! In the firstt 300 years after Our Lord founded His Church, the Roman Empire, the most powerful Empire the world has ever known, persecuted the Christians and drove them underground into the catacombs, and millions were put to death. The first 30 Popes were martyred or died in exile. Even the might of the Roman Legions could not step out the faith of those humble Christians believers and the blood of the martyrs became the seed of the faithful. Ten times under ten different Emperors, the Roman Empire tried to crush the Catholic Church and failed!

[lucifercaelestis]

Sheith Fic Rec Part 2

Hey, so I’m back with more fics. Honestly I haven’t read that many fics lately, kinda distracted by trying to write my own, here’s to hoping it goes well, right? But the fandom deserves something nice in the light of all the troll fics that were posted. I was wondering if I should update my old rec list? Or should I combine this one and the other one into one massive list? What do you guys think? Anyway, same formula, titles are links and bolded, italics are my commentary. Happy reading!

Link to the last fic rec masterpost: http://lucifercaelestis.tumblr.com/post/157021445683/sheith-fic-rec

One-shots (Canon-verse)

orbit by Recluse (T) 21k

"Hey, nice to meet you. Keith, right? I'm Shiro."

Shiro and Keith’s backstory fic, and wow, I was not expecting how it all happened. 11/10 would read again

grief by Recluse (T) 4.5k

There are five stages.

Obligatory Keith grieving over Shiro fic.

it’s not a star i see (it’s always you) by janie_tangerine (E) 18.5k

in which both Keith and Shiro are stuck with birthdays on dates they don't like. Meeting each other makes it more than just a bit better.

Birthday fic that combines Keith’s backstory and major Keith feels with Shiro and god just read the fic please, it’s worth it.

Break Out by reinkist (E) 10.8k

An unexpected reaction to the alien plant life forces Keith and Shiro to have to reevaluate what their relationship is, and what it could be.

Sex pollen fic. Warning for dubious consent. Trope-y as it is, I like how it forces them to confront with certain things.

Falling Forward by flyingisland (T) 3.5k

Shiro is a romantic catastrophe, even with an excellent wingman like Pidge.

Pining Shiro is the best.

crash collide into space by ohmygodwhy (T) 2.6k

Shiro’s gone and all he has left of him are a shitty couch and a few pictures on his phone and dog tags that he’s afraid to touch because touching them feels like accepting the fact that Shiro will never touch them again. If he holds them for long enough any traces of Shiro’s touch will be wiped away and replaced, like they were never there to begin with, like Shiro was never there to begin with.

They deserve to be happy together goddamnit.

distance and the time between us by samalane (T) 7.2k

If Keith had known that an impromptu dance party was the much needed catalyst concerning his and Shiro's non-relationship, he'd have signed himself up for one a long time ago.

Alternatively: in which people get drunk, dance, and confess for the second time.

I love the tiny details inserted into the fic, a different kind of backstory/friendship between Shiro and Keith and how hopeful it ends.

My Favorite Tune Is The One That Sounds Like Me And You by starticker/ @starticker (T) 3k

The Castle of Lions malfunctions again. Fortunately, the results are much less sinister this time around.

(Honestly, Keith preferred the murder attempts.)

This is so cute and I love the moment of realization that occurs later in the fic.

Paint it Black by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)/ @bosstoaster (T) 4k

The team accidentally discovers that the Art of Painting will almost immediately knock out everyone except Keith.

Keith takes advantage of the peace to do one of his favorite things: Draw. More specifically, drawing Shiro.

This really is cute, but believable. Also, they all need a break and they got it, thank god.

make my heart bleed out my chest by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics)/ @shirosredknight  (E) 5.5k

Fuck, my head hurts so bad, Shiro groans to himself, raising his hand up to touch his pounding head. What the hell did I do last night? And why the hell does my body feel so heavy?

He’s gone through a fair number of bad hangovers but Shiro’s never had one where his body feels like it’s weighed down by rocks. Right as he starts to raise himself up on his elbows, there’s the softest snorting noise from his chest. Shiro opens his eyes and stares blearily down at the dark head resting on his chest.

What the...

Keith’s fast asleep on his chest, arms sweetly curled between their bodies. His confusion turns to sharp dread as soon as he recognizes Keith. But the feeling swiftly turns to embarrassed dismay when Keith’s sleepy wriggle makes Shiro realize they’re both naked in his bed. He’s naked in his bed with his best friend slash the person he’s been crushing on for months.

I’m all for mutual pining, especially pining Shiro. The feelings were very nice and I love how it’s resolved.

(Don’t) Stand (So) Close To Me by marinoxx (E) 11k

A certain cadet phases into Shiro's life like a vision, or maybe a dream. He hasn't fallen for him, definitely not. It's just impossible to resist unraveling the heavenly enigma that is Keith.

TL;DR: Keith's been stimulating Shiro since the Garrison and nothing has changed just because they're in space.

Very nice Pining Shiro, just really good garrison Sheith tbh.

baby loves to dance in the dark by Itgoeson (M) 8.1k

“Believe me, I’ve got better things to look at than Shiro’s eyes when he’s working out,” Lance mutters. Keith doesn’t think he’s supposed to hear it.

Featuring: Shiro's eyeliner, Schrodinger's relationship, Keith and Pidge on a mission for Voltron, Hunk and Lance on a mission to figure out Shiro's beauty secrets, and healthy relationships.

I love this author’s take on Shiro and Keith’s dynamic, the inclusion of the others was great too, all in all, A++.

Loving Me’s Like Chewing on Pearls by Itgoeson (Unrated) 18.4k

Shiro works through some issues, the team bonds, and foreign planets have their own wars and conflicts. Voltron finds a way to make it all work, no matter how hard life gets.

I’ve already said that I love this particular author’s take on Shiro and Keith’s dynamic, but this fic hurt me real good.

Young, and in Fields by verdenal (T) 3k

Or: 5 times someone caught Shiro napping on Keith, and one time no one saw Keith sleeping on Shiro. [pre-s2]

Finally they get to rest! I’m all for them getting a break, bless you OP.

The Closest I Get by inkfishie/ @inkfishie (E) 10.7k

“I want to kiss you,” Keith says, voice hushed.

His breath is a warm puff against Shiro’s mouth. They practically are. Kissing, that is. Shiro can feel the tickle of Keith’s mildly chapped lips very close to his own. It’s tempting. Shiro presses closer and nudges his nose against Keith’s. He breathes in their closeness.

Keith and Shiro spend Valentine's Day together following Shiro's Year in captivity.

Very nice and very hot Valentine’s day fic, please read for the feelings.

One-shots (AU)

those imprints your soul left behind by wolfsan11 (T) 4.1k

He wonders, at times, what he’s meant to be doing. Mortals come and go, hurricanes lash at his home (his prison) before moving on to haunt another stretch of water, but he? He remains. Unstable and unknowing, yet permanent.

There must be some purpose to him here. Surely.

-

In which Keith is Te-Fiti and Shiro is also Te-Fiti, until the day Shiro goes missing. Then, there is only Te-Ka.

I never knew I needed this until I read it, so many emotions just !!!!

Unfold Your Wings As You Fall by Aer (G) 10.3k

There's nothing Shiro wants so much as he does for Keith to fly with him.

When I read the summary, my mind just started chanting ‘Wing AU, Wing AU, Wing AU’ very excitedly. I’ve been waiting so long to read a Sheith Wing AU fic and this one did not disappoint.

Loved The Stars Too Fondly by armedarchaeologist (G) 3.1k

Keith fell in love with the stars in the sky and the stars on his arms.

A soulmate AU where whatever you write on your body appears on your soulmate's.

Sheith soulmate AU with stars??? Definitely a must-read.

Complete Multi-chapter (Canon-verse)

hello, i love you, won’t you tell me your name by perzimon (T) 12.3k 2/2

Keith's human enough to have wisdom teeth and unlucky enough to need them extracted. The team despairs.

Best humour I’ve ever seen in a fic, I was laughing the entire time I read this, and still laughed every single time I reread it.

For Everything a Reason by flyingisland (T) 23k 3/3

In Keith's life, the only true absolute was that everyone would always leave in the end.

Obligatory Keith backstory rec, but not obligatory at all because reading this was fantastic!

For Your Actions are Mine by wolfsan11 (G) 3k 2/2

The Red Lion has awaited her Paladin for years, but the figure who fights to reach her is neither what she expects nor wants. Yet, after her imprisonment, perhaps this little one is simply what she needs.

The Black Lion has been left in the dark for far too long. Strung between her two Paladins, old and new, past and present, is that much more difficult. In the end, it comes down to trust and saving each other.

The Lions!!! And Sheith!!! I love this combo, we need more of this.

Strengths and weaknesses by Latart0903 (E) 90.3k 28/28

“You're obviously not the same person you were before Kerberos, you-” Keith aborted his rant.

“We...knew each other? Before? So, we were friends?”

“Something like that…”

-----

Or: How Keith and Shiro's paths cross prior to Kerberos

Garrison Sheith backstory, all the way up to Shiro’s arrival on Earth. 

Ongoing Multi-chapter (Canon-verse)

LAZARUS by Glossolalia/ @fenri (E) Currently 10.5k, 2/9

A binary black hole is a system consisting of two black holes that orbit one another.

Shiro's unforeseen disappearance and Judas play forces Keith to claim his place as Black Paladin, but after a series of obstacles, Keith finds himself stepping down to let someone other than Shiro and him adopt the title 'Black Paladin.' With only the mask of his mentor to guide him and a failing sense of place, Keith has to flip the coin of 'How to Fight a War.' Paladin or Blade of Marmora? Love or chasing a ghost? One of the hardest life lessons is understanding there's a fine line to everything.

“Oh, sweetheart—he liked you, didn’t he?”

The words are a blade beneath the ribs, but instead of scooting backwards, Keith grabs a bar and yanks himself forward. He presses his forehead to the cool steel and yearns. It’s his turn to breathe hard.

“Shiro.”

“Not Shiro.”

I cannot begin to describe how much this fic has hurt me, please read it.

When You Rise by Dragonescence (M) Currently 21.3k, 6/?

For a year Keith waited for Shiro. Now Shiro waits for Keith, haunted by his newly-returned memories of their relationship, praying to whoever who would listen for his baby to wake up.

He's not the only one struggling. And when Keith does wake up, the Voltron family are up to the task of dealing with the changes that follow. Because that's what families do.

Warning for not really graphic rape/non-con in the beginning if I’m not mistaken? Not between the main pairing, but… This fic is really good, I love how the author incorporates all the other characters into the fic.

Sleeping With Ghosts by lemoninagin (M) Currently 10k, 2/3

No one else had ever been loved so deeply by Takashi Shirogane, loved so steadily and enveloped with such care and passion, only to have it cruelly ripped away from them without a moment’s notice.

No, no one had.

No one but him.

A study of Keith while he was in that desert, really sad but worth reading.

Astronomy in Reverse by nsfwlings (E) 3.2k

Shiro and Keith’s friendship kicks off almost immediately when they meet, despite Keith’s initial wariness of Shiro’s kindness. It becomes something much more to Shiro, but he’s not willing to admit it; instead they fall into a mutually beneficial sexual relationship with no romantic strings attached, as is Shiro’s usual way. As for Keith, it takes the Kerberos disaster to hit home what Shiro really means to him.

Or: A gradual falling in love based on mutual respect and attraction, but not without some misunderstandings and an unwanted alien abduction throwing a spanner in the works.

Sheith FWB au, set in canon, with them gradually falling in love??? I can’t ask for anything more than this.

Ongoing Multi-chapter (AU)

Let’s Play by risotto (T) Currently 17.9k, 4/?

Voltron: Legendary Defender, is the action-RPG reboot of an 80s classic with graphics and gameplay more befitting the 2010s. It’s the latest sensation, popular among the retro gaming crowd and Millenials alike. And, like with most trends, Keith’s late to the party. Sort of.

(Alternate summary: Keith meets Shiro and the others online and they play video games like the dorks they are. Also, Keith develops a crush.)

Voltron gaming AU, everyone is in-character and sweet, sweet slow burn, what more could I ask for?

The Professional by TruebornAlpha/ @runicscribbles & @itdans (E) Currently 8.8k 1/3

Shiro is trapped in a life of expectations and responsibility. The black sheep of a prominent business empire, he struggles to come to terms with the tragedy that knocked his life off course. He starts looking for solace through unconventional means.

Keith is ready to offer his services for a price, and it doesn't hurt that Shiro looks so good on his knees.

Dom Keith, AKA sign me tf up.

Series (Canon-verse)

little star chasers by ohmygodwhy (T) Total 23.4k 3 fics

there's an empty space between keith's clavicle and the top of his ribcage, and sometimes he thinks one of shiro’s smiles could fill it up forever, even before he reaches the stars.

The descriptions are so lovely and amazing and the characterization, especially Keith’s,  is just so good!

Series (AU)

Voyager by dawnstruck/ @dawnstruck (E) 39k

The bastard prince of Galra develops a fascination with the human champion and the stars are all too familiar with unlikely lovers.

In all honesty, this one was a guilty pleasure that turned into plain fascination for the dynamic this author has created between them. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

PWP

Not So Private by Skalidra (E) 3.2k

Shiro knew it was a bad idea to let Keith talk him into fooling around in the semi-public showers. Knew it, but did it anyway. It's not entirely surprising that someone walks in on them.

Whistles innocently, it’s better than the description for sure.

Late Night Thirst by weabooflower (E) 6k

Keith is having trouble sleeping and ventures out to get a drink.

The title speaks for itself…

sweet revelation by stimhack (E) Currently 32k, 7/?

Keith Kogane needs to let off some steam after coming into contact with way too much Takashi Shirogane, the golden boy of Galaxy Garrison. He ends up with a paid subscription to PaladinsLive and a hard-on for a faceless stranger behind a webcam, but his crush on Shiro isn't getting any easier to handle. One hot guy ruining his life is bad enough, but two? Keith's hormones are going to be the death of him.

Camboy Shiro fic, enough said.

Vertigo by flyingisland (E) 6.2k

Mixed up laundry and unspoken feelings put Shiro in a precarious situation.

The whole situation is both hilarious and deeply sad somehow.

Reasons by Ithiel_Dragon (E) Total 15.3k, 2 fics

Tooth rotting fluff, angst, and smut. No real plot. Yet anyway.

I like all the feelings going on, the uncertainty and push-pull of their relationship.

Brand New Moves by flyingisland (E) 5.4k

Did Keith want to reward him, or punish him? He’s starting to feel like it’s a little bit of both.

Keith in lingerie fic, surely something we all need.

lend a helping hand by aubadezayn (E) 4.4k

omega!keith is about to go into his first heat since having left earth, and there's a distinct lack of sex toys/aids in space so alpha!shiro offers his totally "platonic" assistance. his hand vibrates, who knows why? it does though, and he's going to help keith get through the week with minimal pain because that's what friends are for right?

or omega!keith and alpha!shiro pine after each other desperately and are oblivious to the other's desire for them.

Omegaverse pining pwp…

Something Else by Mool (E) 14.7k 3/3

Keith noticed something was different with Shiro.

With a suggestion of trying something new with their sex life, Shiro starts acting differently around Keith. With prolonged gazes, lingering touches, and a newly insatiable appetite, Keith isn't one to complain. But as their sexual adventures progress and Shiro's actions become more pronounced, Keith starts thinking it's something else.

Sounds like there's plot but it's actually just a whole lot of smut.

Lots of smut and some misunderstandings but the ending was A++.

Bang Bang by ashinan smut (ashinan)/ @ashinan (E) 2.7k 6/?

A series of NSFW Sheith prompts received and completed on tumblr

Some of these are just really...wow. 10/10 would definitely read again.

Closet Confessional by evaunit0 (E) 5k

Keith is a cadet notorious for being on any and every disciplinary list, and Shiro starts noticing it.

Garrison Sheith PWP...

Clear Intentions by HiddenEye (E) 7k

“At least, he's relaxed, though?”

He only shoots her a smirk, and she rolls her eyes before going through the tablet again from where she sits on one of the chairs near the windows, legs folded neatly on one another. “I don't know why I even ask the obvious. How stupid of me.”

He shrugs. “I thought you knew my intent.”

Everyone needs to relax in some way right?

Post S2

One-shots

Unchanging by madkingray/ @madkingray (G) 2.3k

“Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

Keith doesn’t look at him, staring down at his lap. His voice is hesitant and quiet, like it’s hard for him to ask (knowing Keith, it probably is). “That I’m part Galra?”

“No,” Shiro answers immediately. “It doesn’t bother me. Having Galra blood doesn’t make you Galra. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re like the ones we’re fighting every day. You’re still you, Keith, and that’s all that matters to me.”

The hurt/comfort post Ep8 fic we all need.

echoes (i’m right here) by katebishoop (Unrated) 3.3k

Shiro disappears, but he never really leaves.

This hurt me quite a bit.

constant state of the damned by HiddenEye (G) 4.3k

The dark attire he wore was a contrast in the room he was in, a stranger among the midst, Galra among Altea. Shiro wondered how he felt about that.

It was then Shiro saw the way his fingers flexed before the Galra spoke, “How long do you plan to stand there?”

I will hoard every BoM Keith fic close to my heart, my eternal weakness.

Abundant of Denial by HiddenEye (T) 4.2k

“I was simply pointing out how you don't usually expose about yourself in front of strangers.”

“I don't.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, as you see,” Ulaz continued, and his light tone made Keith tense more. “The Blade doesn't forbid relationships.”

-

Keith couldn't escape the type of interrogation the members of the Blade would give him even if he wanted to, especially if this had to do with his lack of personal life.

Sequel to constant state of the damned, with Keith’s numerous father figures and lots of teasing!

we can only do our best (to recreate) by wolfsan11 (T) 7.3k

With the loss of Shiro still fresh on their minds, the Paladins try and cope by revisiting happier memories. Keith ends up revealing more than he means to about how he and Shiro first met.

Or, Keith struggles through the Garrison, meets Shiro and gives him a less-than-stellar not-quite-first impression.

Obligatory Shiro is gone and the team bonds during his absence with added Sheith backstory and Keith feels.

Coelestis by WhisperingOrchard (E) 9.9k

Their love was birthed among the cosmos, thriving in a plane of existence neither fully understood. Of only two things Keith was certain—that their time together was limited, and that he would make the most of said time with his ever fiber.

Or;

Keith and Shiro's "first time" together in the astral plane.

Loving all the star imagery and just how pretty it was, if kinda sad.

Handful by HiddenEye (T) 13.1k

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, if you're a purple baby who just discovered the concept of moving from one place to another on your own, where would you be?”

-

A mission that was supposed to be easy swerved into a loop when Keith found something buried deep under the debris, one that made the team think of building beds, baby-proofing every corner of the castle, and thinking of ways to calm down a clingy Galra.

I’m not really one for kidfics, not unless it’s really, really good, but this one was. It shattered all my expectations and left me wanting more desperately.

Worth the Wait by mikkimouse (T) 3.1k

The Castle of the Lions is huge. Even after living in it for as long as he has, Keith still boggles sometimes at how freaking big it is. With only seven people and five sentient robot Lions living there, he could spend days wandering the halls and never run across another person.

And yet, finding a time that he and Shiro can be alone, without any interruptions, is impossible.

A+ humour, and I just love certain lines. Also the end was just great, very fulfilling.

Ground to stand on (with you) by snofeey (Unrated) 9.2k

“How do you feel about it all?” Shiro asked. “The being part-Galra.”

Keith shrugged. “At first, I didn’t want to believe it. Especially with those nightmares. But now? Doesn’t really matter, I suppose. Trying to think about it like being Asian. Affects what I look like, not who I am.”

Shiro smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that? Not everyone would be able to say that.”

--

There had been too much revealed by the Blade of Marmora for anyone to be comfortable with. Keith's disappeared, Shiro's wondering how to apologize, and Allura's furious. But a late night has Shiro and Keith working through fears and worries, lingering anxieties, and the fear that this new revelation brought with it, and in the end, they stand taller for it.

Post ep8 character fic that I needed, thank you.

In my right hand there’s the great unknown by PaladinofFeels

After the fight against Zarkon Shiro wakes up but soon realizes that he's not home. He's not even in his universe. He's stuck jumping from alternative universe to alternative universe, watching how tiny decisions change everything about their lives.

It's not always for the better.

Now he has to find a way to go back home, even if he doesn't understand why this is happening to him in the first place.

Shiro jumping through alternate universe fic, really sad but somehow hopeful too?

Multi-chapter

Distal Coordinates by saltyseaachips (E) Currently 21k, 4/?

All his life Keith had been fighting things he doesn't know of yet.

(Later he finds answers and questions in a person and place he's never dreamed of.)

BoM Keith with such an interesting plot? The suspense is keeping me hanging off the edge of my seat.

Disowned by kittypox (M) Currently 28.4k, 8/?

The ultimatum was clear and simple: betray the resistance and be reunited with his son or die a traitor and have his son used regardless. The choice is obvious to Thace, but he knows team Voltron will not give up one of their own so easily. There may be a way to salvage the situation, but the Galra have more than one back handed card to play. Meanwhile, Shiro is determined to do anything to get Keith back.

I am so excited for this fic, I can never anticipate what’s coming next and it’s amazing!

The Alpha Hunter by kittypox (E) 18.3k 4/?

Back in the leader seat after 3 years of imprisonment Shiro struggles to maintain his focus pursuing the end of the Galra empire while fighting a war with himself. He is the alpha, the leader, but he doesn’t feel that way any longer. He had prayed that Keith would be able to pull him back from the brink, but his mate is distant, hostile even. They have both suffered but they’ll suffer more if they don’t mend their bond. It’s a solution that sounds easy in theory, but not so much so when Shiro realizes his mate has picked up some unsavory past times in his absence.

Really heartbreaking future fic with ABO-verse ties.

Picosecond by Glossolalia/ @fenri (M) 23.5k

It's been eight years since the fall of the Galra Empire. While most of the Paladins of Voltron have gone their separate ways as friends, it's the Black and Red Paladin who've parted on uncivil terms. At Commander Allura’s side, Shiro is now a married man and father overseeing the birth of the universe's peacetimes, and Keith, a bounty hunter, is avoiding any association with the newly established Interuniversal Alliance for Planetary Peace.

It’s by accident Keith finds himself working alongside the man he's tried to run from.

It’s by accident Keith finds himself in the same man's bed.

Future fic that fucks with my heart, man, The dread that I feel reading this fic is only equaled by how much I need to read it. Warning for infidelity, but honestly, I’m pretty sure you’re still gonna want to read it.

[death-is-only-everlasting]

hey my boy, tell us about your last concert you went to or the last place you treveled to :)

Uuhhh, the last concert was still Witchfest back in 2015/16? Don’t remember. Saw Cannibal Corpse, Aborted, Belphegor, Kataklysm. Was supposed to see Judas Priest this year but they cancelled they show. Last place I travelled to was Germany also in 2015 or 2016. Went to visit my family there. Was cool. Got shitfaced at the Rockfabrik.Other than that, my life is super fucking boring and I don’t have money to change any of that either. So I’m stuck with just being a normie. Work all week. Do nothing all weekend. Go back to work. Hopefully by later this year I can go visit my mate in London. He wants to do a Scotland trip, but I’m afraid I won’t have saved up enough money to even go to London. So yeah

[panvitriad-blog]

Res Publicka - Justice Dew

Quite extravagant and hasty to torment.

What a tough luck for all to see your life, Now seeming to fade away Failing the test of time after The taste of exception With padmasana tormenting The necessary veins and channels To the extent of cutting your feet From the ground. So cliche for acro-yoga A show-off to prolong Imprudence and insanity, While doing mischief. BAD GLOBAL PRANAYAMA!

I did aerial acrobatics for aviation training.

There is the law of nature not just free-will. I'm already experienced in Law-Bringing Since Mt. Sinai and well before. Last time we start and finished revolutions, To bring our own law upon love and truth of all. I know the prospects of such busy-ness And know the Processes and Phases of Collective Ascension Before I dare engaging such shooting carnaval.

It's not for the hypocritical critics Of the sacred and the arcane. It's for the ones who can overthrow governments. Not for the mothers of abomination and vainglory. Proof of the Divine? Prove to be Divine. Else it's fatal futility.

What was the crown of death you so longed for, As you reincarnate just to see yourself suicidal, When you blame Mohammed and Jesus, Without division in one soul, pretty Diabolick huh!

Well try the Crowns of Life, Freedom, Truth, Suffering So that even when you be in the position of a dictator, Keep your dignity and truth.

Instead of falling and becoming delusional Ferventing frivilously,

That's because God needed to inject his past life records Into the book, so he can establish security In transmission, I'm the guy behind much of the religion. Also I had to say most of the recorded priests, saints and prophets In the sacred texts is me. I know the Ordeals of these stuff And I won't let anyone without a Vow of Truth Download or channel false religions.

I'm under a judicial case Just because when a prophet reincarnates No one can know or guess upon seeing. Even the claimed Hierophants and Clairvoyants. Raising followers upon half-searched truth, Without undergoing the challenges of Alchemy Not even having timely mystical experiences, Save psychic exhaustion upon provacative posts Not even knowing who channeled the vision to the seer. Because that one did some job on the Divine Plane. Telling I'm a High Initiate and you're creating a mess With your prophecies, vampirism, game of thrones and throes Unwanted-uninvited kin, what crawls under their skin?

Here take these crown of thorns before you dare becoming popular. Upon artisan illusion crafting. No we can't graft between Trees of Life.

You need to undergo family constellations And regression therapy, before you go get visions. Bare necessities for safe and sound shamanick trance. Because family history proud and arrogant upon exile or migration etc. As well as World Wars, Gas Rooms and Holocausts may and do create, Visions of Starry Ones that Reflect you to you in a very crooked way If you can't adapt to the habitat and the collective mind, In the land of aliennation of the self and the other and each. Everyone will seem alien even you, in the Ordeals of Silver,

My energy takes Empyrean form before such onlookers. Even if I visit them as one of my past lives. We finally come out of the torment by being aware that Pretty much all of the spirits are caused by our daily Psychic projection. And the angels are here if we devote ourselves in service To the highest good upon the path of least resistance Directing faith, transmuting to truth.

Be sure to check the Stars you Communicate with Telescopes Whether they have light on the Night side of Planets. Not just habitable but inhabited can be contacted. Else is lust and stardust.

How? How How? What does the Fox say?

Gimmick behind every ordeals Mackara Masckara But it is time to be liberated From humbug dogma and relentless superstition By eradicating redundant veiling Along with reckless driving And insulting the experienced That may cause more mischief than needed As if mischief had ever become something that we need?

Mastering is an art of no-nonsense.

Please! Research, discuss and practice the issue in institutions. Unity propells the truth in many ways we can only come up one at a time.

Lies grow upon lies Ensure your mistakes don't grow out of control. The biggest mistake is not confessing It's humbug to be proud when you can't even face Confessing the truth of your secrecy.

Perky misters and mistress torture them unawares in a glass tower. When your lies grow so out of control, What can save you, lynch or suicide? From eternal annihilation. Only if you went on with your tasks and tribulations There would be no spot of regret in your Being.

Look what you got for your sorcery. When you atone, aim for complete recovery. So that you won't damage the clock along with the time, So that you can heal and be healed.

Fiascos while my fresco fell in pieces… I knew that religion will fall apart. And I was a well-known atheist on a revolutionary spree Hat-trick in South Americka But everyone trying to decipher me and my masterpiece In a bulletproof case, whether smiling-or-not.

While try one of my brews Smithy Smite.

A Hillarity of a Hickity Hicks come before but betrayed me Longing for the power that Anti-Christ showed them While all the way watching Modern Jesus showing him the way To fight with the ones that claim the Anti-Truth As the base ingredient of Divinity Staring into the depths of the Enochian All the while as if buried to the level of eyes in sin.

Don't lose your Monads. They are durable but fragile also. For mistakes that are not

While Jesus shooting burst of text to the bullying machine, Like he prophecised, trigger happy shooting charlatans with UZI's Even better I was already in a shooting carnage upon Imperialists Before he did that hilarious sketch. Firing adamantine cannonballs to the center of the false-ordeals, The Zombie Factory Abortion Cults are much more merry When all the relatives and families of the prophets are cursed By the beloved St. Germaine who was Mary Magdalena. So when I need to preach a law, I need to secure my family.

There are some core basicks when transmitting a Divine Message Like the Vow of Truth and reception of the sacred relics

I Platonickally fell in love with The Croning and Suicidal Crowley In a gorgeous outfit, quite francko-phony After all the mess he had done Cursing the prophets Along with cutting and giving my hair To the heads of the Zombie Factory Forgetting he was the caliph Ali and Akhenaten My Son-In-Law and Son-In-Love As she come to flap her wings and blind me Or peck the eyes, she did for the while I was unwary but she too was Crying the tears of happiness,

Her familiar's name was Hypatia Like my past life before I was Mohammed The Genius Woman behind Islam Preaching in the center of corruption Blasphemy, torture, slavery and ignorance Upon arrogance? A tail of lies. Concludes in Annihilation.

After all I passed a death door Raped and dehumanized with oyster shells Judas was Cyril there. Now? The wanker is claiming to be a Magus.

All the while smoking synths and attacking me. 

That's why Jesus came back and cursed The Exoteric Christians in Kor'an Who acted upon the orders of the Roman Empire And cut down myriads of angels Students of mystery cults. Who were aligning, healing and repatterning, The Babylonian Karmic residue. Now Algol bursts violence, why? Who did this mess?

Anyone upon proving to be divine would correct one's mistakes and ascend with everyone around upon stable foundations.

And I can project things that will cure Judas from his disease, so he doesn’t live to hinder us now. Of course if he doesn’t fall to the republic of stones with misconduct. 

For Solar Eyes the Centre of the System is the Sun, and that we take-off and visit the stars thorough the arcana of the window. Geocentrick view is Egocentrick, Heliocentrick view is symphonick, artistick and scientifick because the center of gravity of the Solar System is Sun again, as well as the Energetick, Astral, Mental or Spiritual center. The things are going Holistick. So beware the Divine Republick Come and Our will be done if aligned to Absolute God thorough a shared consciousness, backing ourselves with the universal currents. Will-I-AM Lilly playin' Willy Wonka tuning In - stayin' for the while you check the taste of Time and we go Up and Out to the stars, we will surely reach another star if we invent interstellar travel, we just need to focus, that will be a gorgeous Samadhillah for all. . .

After all somehow someone murdered the Gnostick Churchs Destroyed cultural and occultural centers Studying laws of life and the rest. Who practiced pure Agape and labeled The crooked fanatics of the cult of chastity Ignorant of the benefits of satisfaction Don't preach before you arrive some distance Banshees be banished to the extant and vanish

Oh look what they did to Serapeion.

But the divine is eternal. And we can recall our past lives. Someone needs to establish the creed Upon truth anyway.

But the Serapeion can resurrect itself. For this resurrection to open up in societies, We need to practice Good Sexual Karma. If you're going to keep up-to-date with Kundalini Akbar.

Doing what you will won't operate as a divine law in the long run. That was Akhenaten's Atenistic princkiple which is quite partial of the Solar Consciousness, which quite destroyed all that was good that is left after Amenhotep III. While Crowley was at Egypt, receiving transmissions seems like he didn't checked the possibility of triggering a past life in Egypt like he could be also Akhenaten as well as, Mary Magdalene and Caliph Ali from geographical stimuli, with the spontaneous mindset he may deceived himself upon such karmick and magickal awakening that would let him raise above Mathers and his gang. As a Sufi I read and interpreted Liber AL vel Legis as a Hexagramick formula behind Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and Book of Thoth and Deck as a remarkable modernization and explanation of Celcelutiyah too, but I was Thelemite before Sufi and Crowley was my girlfriend this time and we were unaware about the whereabouts of our light bodies. Nuit-La-Rahim, Hadit-Al-Rahman, Ra-Hoor-Khuit Homo Divinus Agens (Hoor-Paar-Kraat) Res Divinas coagulating with Divine Order.

If the gimmickery under such a deal left in obscurity and create famine and discord. We saw planes bombing innocents, what's the deal with it? When you curse the key initiates of mysteries? Long chains of initiates can be corrupted with such underhand operation. So doing what you will recklessly is not permitted, in my turf, for a reason that had the taste of the divine. Instead of spilling poison into cup or breaking the vessel after describing it too much.

I never had a seizure in this life time. While bearing all this responsibility. A twitch to preach may be, the gift of the Oratory A pain that I am used, just to cry SO LONG SUFFERING! With a smile left.

But the suicidal Lola Can't make up the fun he got Behind the veil, fiending drugs Starts back strictly anti-drugs policy. But can't finish when she got The pain of obligation with heroin Doesn't command-do-go well

So first things first As taking responsibilities Come before the acquisition of power If you want a habitable world

And your curses upon religions just impede humanity. After all we need to distill The 21st Century Spiritual Understanding Upon the Ancient Wisdom Artistickally and Scientifickally Platonick Idealism and Divine Love Applied in Politicks and Educkation so that we can wonder unknown better. After all the Gift of Healing with the First Trumpet of Usui-Koot Humi Can be the very core truth of spirituality As both is concerned with life very deeply.

Purification and healing makes everyone see, Even better it giddy ups the squished and slothy. And crancks the cracks who are in lust of power.

While we were together While she didn't tell her secret tricks Scandals, not even acting as a Cara Soror. Unfaithful with the mystery of the mysteries She couldn't even put her head for truth Like the time when I told 'En el-Hakk' And beheaded. When they asked For the ones who wonder how the Dragon of Truth hatches. Break the shells with 5 bullets in Bolivia.

A pilgrimage in the Samadillah to the Shamballa With everyone in the planet upon an unicorn, I need to bring the victory of the God Revolution and Solution Even into the hearts of Atheists and Agnostics With pressed T-Shirts with my face Their cure is Gnosis, I had mine with LOA

Now Fatima is in Ali's place. El Morya and me Serapis Bey At the 7th Flame After all if some one Be greedy to the extent of creating Mishap and confusion in the land of Truth Upon the name of God.

The trumpet of Israfel Can it be blown to make each of those Militants who cry Taqbir to AntiChrist Who pray upon the contradiction of truth By being lost in prison of relativity

In the Centre of the Sun, Everything is quite clear. In the Centre of the Physically Unknown Object That is in the Center of Galaxy Which doesn't emit light but still massive Even more clearer.

God is not silly.

And doesn’t want chips and implants that cause people behave silly. 

Well in the Mystery Schools there is a Tradition That will tell you, 'If you're going to preach laws First talk with the current incarnation/s and representatives of the prophets.' After all they are aware of the necessity and the ordeals Of such a task, that will charge Aeons, they took the responsibility. You have to be careful for what you inject inside the clock. You need to think twice when you're going to shoot the heart of truth. Dynamics of Time needs proper conduct in such cases.

Look what you got, Jesus of Nazareth was all the while King Solomon You false prophets and preachers of falsity! How come, you did not knew? The source of all these gifts you had with it.

Dr. Rudd, Dr. Ruhselman and Dr. Guevara is going smite you, A scourge that heals this mess. Deal with it!

Love with Truth. Love the Truth, Love along Truth!