#text is based of something my friend wrote

[rh0mbus0fruin]

Rxbert Cxger: Oh that's not...

[arlertwhore]

pairing: paige bueckers x fem! reader

synopsis: paige shows you how that strap game is and you fall in-love.

warning (s): smut, kinda virginity loss, strap, oral, fingering, nipple sucking, penetration, kinda fluffy and kinda cute, hair pulling.

word count: 3.7k

author note: based off req again, unedited again, wrote very late at night, ty for the support once again!! MINORS DNI

Whenever Paige & you texted, on the rare occasion, it was typically

inquires on scheduling, clothes that were left behind, or silly videos you found funny enough to share with Paige, your only companion with a foolish sense of humor alike you. Your Uni Friends were far too serious to handle your actual humor, and in the groupchat, all

that would be shared amongst you guys were academically humor-ous videos. You enjoyed being able to send Paige anything, even if it had the most crass, offensive, abrasive humor behind it. That's how you saw it when you sent her what you sent her, but Paige couldn't lie, she didn't expect you to be this forward. Readying herself to reply sweetly to your Tiktok or Reel or whatever since it was a rare thing, in the midst of practice, thankfully on a break and away from her team, she had opened your texts to a picture of your Amazon cart, showing you had purchased a big strap-on dildo.

It was either she left you on opened, speechless, or expressed her truest thoughts.

Paige replied: ?

Paige replied: 70$🤨 Is this why you've been working extra-lately?

You chuckled, on your break at work, replying: caught me 😊

You bit your lip: excited p?

Later that night, she called you to follow up on the details. "You got that for me?" She was treating this entire ordeal like a kid before a talent show, nervous and wanting to perform their best. "Paige, I'm hoping you aren't seriously calling me at 3AM on a Monday to ask me why I wanna use a strap with you." you groaned, having just got done with your nightly routine and being nearly asleep when she phoned you. "You're a grinch when you're tired," Paige teased, "I'm just making sure you're not asking me to use this because I can't satisfy you or sum." If only she knew how many sleepless, stressed-from-school-and-work, horny nights you had, trying to conjure her face in your mind, replicate her finger-work to no avail. That was actually how you got the idea for the strap. While browsing on her TikTok, trying to find something hot to help you stick the image in your mind, you had seen a video of her dancing with KK, and she had done a thrust dance motion that was so incredibly smooth it made you feel butterflies. You wanted to experience it for yourself now.

"Paige!" you exclaimed, "You're so annoying, Paige, oh my gosh! Of course it's not like that, I just like fucking you and I wanna try new things. Don't you? We could take turns with it and it could be so fun and-"

"FUCK no!" Paige chortled, a chuckle escaping her lips, "I'll let you and this attitude go back to sleep, but tomorrow you're getting it fucked out of you," she declared. "Yeah, whatever, Peanut Butter," you retorted. "Mhm, and by the time I'm done with you, you'll be jelly." she quipped in a genuine attempt to flirt, and you burst out laughing. She was so cute and unintentionally funny sometimes.

You couldn't have been more grateful for Amazon-Prime Shipping and the power of sleep and your busy schedule, because before you knew it, it was the next day and you had been post-gym, post-shower, and in your towel preparing for Paige's arrival when the door had been knocked. Happy, you rushed from your bedroom out to the front door of your apartment, and you yanked it open. "Isn't this perfect, P!" you rambled as she entered, undoing her laces and kicking her shoes off. "Finished all my schoolwork at work, just got back from the gym, and just finished showering, and now you're here." Paige chuckled lightly. "Don't get too excited. Let me shower first. That game today was tough, yo, St. Jackson didn't let up."

"Yeah, whatever, Paige, just hurry up," you said at her snail-like speed, placing her backpack on the rack and stretching. You hurriedly began to undress her, eager, and her much taller frame gently and playfully pushed you away. "Get outta here," she said, smacking your butt as you teetered away, giggling, obliging.

After she had finished showering, she entered your bedroom, both of you in your towels as you presented her with her gift. "Ta-da!" you chorused, "Need a YouTube tutorial or step-by-step." you quipped, playfully.

Paige's face turned serious. "Y/N," she began, as if she had just come to an epiphany, "isn't this gonna be your first time with something this size?" You nodded, eyebrows furrowed, wondering why she would look so concerned. "So?"

"So, this might hurt... like how it would with a... you know," you guys refrained from saying the g-word. And though you hadn't seen it that way, technically, Paige was about to take your virginity on a random Monday night.

"Oh," you replied, "I mean, I'm not the kind to back down from a challenge." you tried to humorously brush it off, but Paige was still extremely serious. "No, really, are you sure? I don't mind having a chill night or something," she insisted, knowing that in reality, if you guys had a chill night just hanging out, she might fall for you even harder. Heck, to be the first person inside you—the very first—was gonna cost her even more feelings of limerence for you. You pressed your lips into a flat line. Your next words, though meant in a literal way, made Paige's heart flutter. "If not you, then who else?"

Girls, even g-words, loved Paige, and she was very popular. She had a wide variety of people ready to have something with her, and you knew that the only reason she was with you was because everybody else was too invested and demanding. This year, at uni, you had finally found an identity. You had a demanding family, who were tough when it came to your academics and all other aspects, meaning it took you a good amount of time before you felt confident about who you were, who you liked, your style—all those key parts of your identity. You getting drunk and being open about it at a party was you at your rawest, and Paige had accepted this. She had seen you in a way you weren't sure you wanted anybody else to, and weren't sure if anybody else would want to like they did for her. So really, if not her, than who?

Paige had a billion things running through her mind that she wanted to say. "I wish we were dating before doing this," could've been one, "I wish I knew so I could make this more romantic for you," could've been another. But instead, the blonde laid her hand upon your cheek, kissing you before murmuring, "Thank you for trusting me with this," nose-to-nose. You grinned. "Yeah... I-, uh, thank you for never saying no," you replied, dropping your towel.

That was usually how it went —quick. Now, after a dirty kiss, you'd get naked and let Paige take the lead, and it'd be quick, raw, and passionate, but it was just different. The kiss was. And though you tried to match the pacing, that was different too. You watched as Paige fitted it on, her back turned to you. When you got bored, you reached into your nightstand drawer and removed the lube for safety. When Paige turned back around, the strap was on perfectly, making you suspicious about this being her first time. Oddly enough, if Paige were to say she did this with another girl, you might actually cry, so you don't ask her and just open your legs instead. "How do I look?" Paige asked, pulling at her chin repeatedly before flexing her arms. "Hot," you replied truthfully, "So hot."

Her hair was still wet, sorta wavy, and her skin was glass after she'd finished moisturizing. She smelled so good too. Everytime you two were about to do this, she somehow managed to look hotter each time. "You're keeping the rest of your thoughts to yourself," she read your mind, "Praise me some more." she teased, dropping to her knees. "What do you want me to say?" you asked, sitting up on your elbows and looking down at her, the girl positioned between your legs. "All the things I could just see you thinking about me," she breathed, her long finger coming up to circle your clit gently,

"All the things I can literally feel you thinking about me." she cleverly remarked about your immediate response to the sight of her: wetness. "I was thinking..." you begun, retracing your memory, mind always hazy when her fingers were on you. "Mhm," she murmured, suctioning your clit into her mouth gently, her eyes fixed on yours to let you know she was still listening. "Fuck," you breathed out, "Fuck, Paige, don't do this to me," you whimpered desperately. "You stop, I stop," she replied, pulling back slightly. "It's not so hard, is it?" she quirked a brow, pushing a finger inside your hole, eliciting a sharp gasp from your parted lips. "Tell me what was on your mind a second ago," she demanded as she pumped her middle finger in and out of you at a slow pace, too slow for your liking.

"You're so hot, Paige," you moaned, toes curling as she rewarded your disclosure with a long lick. "You always look so good all the time," you sighed, lip quivering as her finger made contact with your g-spot, stroking it in a distinct motion that made your lip quiver. "You have the prettiest eyes. The prettiest hair. You're just so perfect, gosh," Her oral ministrations ceased momentarily as she added another finger into you, her voice teasing, "Tastes and sounds like y/n's got a crush on me." You hated her smart mouth.

And simultaneously, you loved it and it felt too fucking good. "I love how smartly you talk too—so naturally," you confessed, feeling a surge of arousal seep out of you as her fingers maintained their unhurried pace within you. "You do, baby?" she purred, her voice dripping with satisfaction. "Yeah," you moaned needily, "and I love it when you call me that." You melted into her touch, reveling in the mix of sensations coursing through your body. It was moments like these that blurred the lines between strictly pleasure and raw desire. You found pleasure in Paige's moments of dominance, relishing the sensation of being degraded. However, when she slipped up and used endearing terms, it shifted the dynamic, offering a glimpse of something beyond mere physical intimacy. In those moments, you could almost forget the boundaries of your arrangement as fuck buddies. It also dawned on you that your submission was a source of satisfaction for her, which in turn heightened your own pleasure. It was a delicate balance of power dynamics that fueled your exchange.

Paige continued her slow and sloppy assault, alternating between gentle licks and rough suckles, driving you to the edge of madness with each passing second. Paige's pace was torturously slow, but every moment felt like an eternity of bliss. She took her time, savoring every taste and sensation, making sure to explore every inch of your tight insides and throbbing clit. You moaned her name, your fingers tangling in her hair as you urged her on, wanting more of her touch, more of her tongue. Just more.

She draws back, a glistening trail of your essence adorning her chin. A connection between her and your cunt, strings of slick guide the way back into your wet pussy. With a gentle sigh, she spits lightly, a delicate touch that heightens the sensation, before tenderly reengaging, her tongue dancing with a graceful finesse amidst the delightful mess and head shaking passionately as she slurps you up. Lost in the moment, a wave of tranquility washes over you, enveloping you in the tender embrace of her touch. As her fingers explore deeper, a third joins the dance, their gentle caresses coaxing forth a symphony of pleasure.

Each movement is a whisper, a soft murmur of affection that sends shivers down your spine. With every stroke of her tongue, every tender exploration of her fingers, you feel yourself drawn closer to the brink of ecstasy. And as you teeter on the edge, your voice rises in a gentle climax, a whispered invocation of her name that echoes through the room, showcasing the intensity of your desire as she expertly continues to tongue-fuck you through your orgasm, each stroke pushing you further into the realms of euphoria. "Paige! I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming," you cry out, and she doesn't release you, holding your thighs firmly as she acknowledges your ecstasy with a soft, "Mhm." into your pussy.

When she's satisfied — when your body stops convulsing and you lay flat back onto the bed, heaving — she climbs up your body, her lips trailing wet kisses down your neck and chest. Each kiss sends shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that refuses to be extinguished. As her lips reach your nipples, she sucks on the right breast, eliciting a tiny moan from you. You hold her head close, the sensation distracting you from the cold lube she squirts onto your cunt. But as the gel is applied, a lingering pain stirs within you granted by her fingers, a sharp reminder of the intrusion to come.

Despite the discomfort, you focus on her, craving the connection between you. With a raw intensity, you pull her into a kiss, the carnal desire between you palpable. "I can't wait for you to fuck me," you murmur against her lips, your voice thick with anticipation. "I know you'll do so good." You fall into another kiss, and this time, Paige takes your legs, raising them up to your sides. With practiced ease, she spreads the lube around your cunt, mixing it with your natural slick and saliva. The sight of the strap-on makes you pause, realizing its size for the first time.

Paige notices your hesitation and speaks to distract you. "You nervous?" she asks, her voice laced with concern. You glance down at the intimidating shaft, contemplating the impending pain. "How bad is that gonna hurt on a scale of 1-10?" you inquire, your voice trembling with uncertainty. Paige doesn't sugarcoat her response. "8," she admits, her hand pumping the shaft. "9," she adds, hunching over your body. "But to you, that's a 10." She knows you well, understanding your body and its limits like no one else.

But you trust her implicitly, knowing she'll guide you through this experience with care and expertise. "Give me this hand," she commands, placing your left hand onto the cock. "While I push, you'll feel it, so you know when to brace for impact, kay?" You nod, a silent agreement passing between you. She raises her right hand like she's making an oath. "I'll use this hand to play with your clit," she promises, her touch grounding you in the moment.

And if you want me to stop at any time... what's the word?" she asks, her gaze locked with yours. "Toasted cornuts," you reply without hesitation. "Toasted cornuts," she repeats, a solemn vow passing between you. With her left arm caging you in, you focus on her muscles, admiring her strength and determination. "You have such a nice body," you remark, unable to resist complimenting her.

Paige lets out a tiny whistle, her confidence bolstered by your words. "Look who's fuckin' talkin'," she quips, her thumb circling your clit with a newfound rhythm that sends waves of pleasure coursing through you. "Tell me when you're ready," she instructs, her voice soft and reassuring. You hesitate, uncertainty clouding your mind. But you trust Paige implicitly, knowing she'll support you through every step of this journey. "I..." you are, definitely, but you hesitate. Paige is like a mind reader. "What do you need. You can't be afraid to tell me what you need." You stare up at her, wondering if it'd break the barrier of casualty. But you really did trust her. And again, if not her, then who? "There's too much space between us, Paige," you confess, your voice tinged with vulnerability. "I need you closer." Her response is immediate, her lips finding yours in a searing kiss that leaves you breathless. Pressing her chest against yours, she buries her head in the crook of your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys in her wake.

She was super nervous herself — she had deliberately kept that distance, fearing the intimacy that would inevitably follow. By closing the gap between you, she was exposing herself to a vulnerability she hadn't anticipated. As she pressed her body against yours, her heart raced with uncertainty. Every touch, every kiss, threatened to break down the walls she had carefully built around herself. But she couldn't deny the pull she felt towards you, the magnetic attraction that drew her closer with each passing moment.

With her lips against yours, she tried to push aside her fears, focusing instead on the raw passion that ignited between you. In this moment, there was no room for doubt or hesitation, only the overwhelming desire to be close to you, to feel your body pressed against hers in a shared embrace of passion and longing.

"I'm ready," you gasp, your voice barely above a whisper. "Are you sure?" Paige asks, her concern evident in her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure," you reply with conviction, ready to face whatever comes next. As she begins to push forward, the intrusion feels foreign at first, but the discomfort quickly gives way to a deep, throbbing pleasure. You moan, the sensation overwhelming yet undeniably arousing.

"Hey, play with your clit," Paige instructs, her voice a soothing melody in the midst of your passion. "Feels better that way." You obey, your hand finding its way to your clit, your movements synchronized with Paige's thrusts. They start slow, almost teasingly, as if she's savoring every moment of your connection. Each movement is deliberate, calculated to elicit the maximum amount of pleasure from both of you. As she pushes forward, you feel the pressure building inside you, a delicious ache that only serves to heighten your desire.

You whimper, suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to be on your stomach. "Paige, turn me over," you plead, your voice a desperate plea for more, and with her immense strength, she effortlessly complies. The sensation floods your senses, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. As she positions you just as you had envisioned, memories of that electrifying encounter in the bathroom flood your mind. It's as if fate has brought you full circle, and now, here you are, experiencing the culmination of that desire.

With one hand firmly planted on your hip, Paige holds you steady as you press yourself against her, the intimacy of the moment washing over you like a wave. Your face contorts in pleasure as a guttural moan escapes your lips, the intensity of the sensation overwhelming and exhilarating all at once. "Oh, fuck, Paige," you gasp, your words a breathless declaration of pleasure. "Fuck, you feel so good." She can hardly find the words to respond, caught up in the raw passion of the moment. Her gaze meets yours, filled with awe and admiration as she marvels at your willingness to surrender to her.

"You're taking it so well, Y/N," she murmurs, her voice laced with admiration and desire. The sound of your name on her lips sends a thrill of pleasure coursing through you.

"Just for you," you whimper, your voice trembling with desire, "Just for you, P." Paige's thrusts exceed your expectations, her hips moving with a fluidity and precision that leaves you breathless. It's as if she's been trained for this moment, every movement calculated to maximize your pleasure. She wasn't lying when she said she would fuck the attitude out of you.

Using your hair to lift you up and off the bed, Paige forces your back into a proper arch, holding you in that position as she pistons her hips against yours. The sound of skin clapping against skin fills the atmosphere, punctuating each thrust with a primal rhythm that echoes the urgency of your desire.

"I'm gonna make you cum," she growls, her voice husky with need, and you can only moan in response, "Yeah, please," a plea for more, for release.

As she pounds into you relentlessly, you fumble with your clit, seeking that elusive release that hangs just beyond your grasp. And then, as her movements become more frantic and urgent, you feel it—the familiar sense of impending bliss, building and cresting within you.

With a cry of ecstasy, you finally succumb to the overwhelming pleasure, your body convulsing in ecstasy as torrents of pleasure cascade through you. It's as if the entire universe narrows down to this singular moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, enveloping you in a cocoon of rapture and leaving you breathless and utterly spent in its wake. Tears stream down your face, a testament to the intensity of the ecstasy you've just experienced as you come down from the peak, your heart still racing and your senses tingling with the aftershocks of pleasure.

As the weight of the moment settles over both of you, there's a palpable shift in the air. Paige withdraws from you, her movements mirroring your own sense of vulnerability and realization. For a moment, the silence between you is heavy with unspoken thoughts and emotions.

Then, with a tenderness that belies her usual confidence, Paige turns you over, her gaze soft yet intense as she meets your eyes. In that moment, you can see the depth of her feelings reflected back at you, a mixture of awe, tenderness, and a hint of uncertainty.

Without a word, Paige enfolds you in her arms, pulling you close against her chest. It's a gesture that speaks volumes, conveying more than words ever could. In her embrace, you find solace, reassurance, and a sense of belonging that fills the empty spaces within you.

As you rest against her, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat beneath your ear, you realize that this is just the beginning of your journey together. You guys have started something beyond what this was supposed to be.

love is in the air? leave comments guys tell me what you think about this.. chapter? part? Where do you think the relationship is going and where do you want it to go? Inbox is open!

[wonbriiize]

bestfriend!Anton who puts you on his lap to give you affection, touches your hair, kisses you on the neck...being super clingy and fluffy :(

pairing; anton x reader

genre; fluff, best friends to lovers

note; i thought this was such a cute idea so i wrote something based on it.. hope u like it anon ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

listen to your heart

while working in retail isn’t all that horrible most of the time, you despise it over the holidays. everyone goes crazy as they search for last-minute christmas presents for their loved ones, friends or anyone else.

today was one of those days when everything was so annoying that you really thought about quitting your job right then and there.

luckily, your shift has ended and you are now on your way back home. you seem to be forgetting what a terrible day it has been so far as you imagine yourself curled up in your warm bed while drinking hot choco and watching your comfort movie.

“*y/n*, someone is waiting for you in your room,” your mom says after giving you a big hug when you arrive at home.

you‘re confused as to who it could be, until you recall that your best friend anton texted you saying he‘d drop by later as you were spamming him with messages about that one costumer who was extremely rude to you.

you run up the stairs to your room. you’re not so sure why you’re so eager to see anton, but you can’t help yourself. being with anton after a tiring day makes you feel at ease. he just has that effect on you.

“ohhh, slow down,” anton sits up on your bed. you can tell he made himself feel at home because just a second ago he was laying in your bed as if it was his own. “why are you running? is the rude customer after you?”

since you can’t tell anton that you hurried up to your room because of him, you just throw yourself on your bed. “no, i just really missed my bed. it has been an exhausting day.”

“and here i was hoping that you were running because you couldn’t wait to see me,” anton pouts, leaning back on your bed.

you’re right, you think. but i can’t let you know..

“well, apparently you were missing me because how are you at my house when i’m not even there?”

anton shrugs. “so what if i missed you, is it so wrong to miss your best friend?”

you’re shocked at how casually anton can say things like this. does he truly not realise how much of an impact his words have on you? it irritates you that he's saying these things and acting so dreamy when you're already trying to shake the thought that you like him — much more than you could ever imagine liking someone.

you sigh, laying down on your back. “i just really need to rest.”

“hey, come here,” anton pats next to him. “we can rest together.”

for a second, you’re not sure if you should really go and sit down next to him, because your feelings are all over the place today and you don’t know what could happen, but you push those thoughts aside and just go for it.

“you can lay your head on my lap. i will give you a head massage. i‘m a pro,” anton softly smiles at you.

god, he really isn’t making it easy to not fall in love with him, you sigh. your head is telling you not to do it, but for once in your life, you decide to listen to your heart instead.

you place your head gently on anton‘s lap. you’re afraid you won't be able to resist kissing anton if you open your eyes and see him staring down at you, hence why your eyes are closed.

anton starts massaging your head softly and you’re surprised at how good it actually feels.

“i didn’t expect you to be actually good at this,” you say.

“i told you i‘m a pro,” anton chuckles. hearing him giggle put a smile on your face and usually you would try to hide that, but right now, you’re just letting it happen.

“there it is,” anton whispers softly as he touches your cheek, causing you to open your eyes immediately.

“what?”

“your beautiful smile.”

you start laughing nervously. what’s his deal? why is he being extra sweet today?

“don’t say such things, anton.”

“why not?" his hand returns to your head, but instead of giving it a massage, he plays with your hair, twisting it around with his index finger.

“best friends don’t say that..” what you just said has a sad undertone, but you don’t care. maybe if anton knows that he’s kind of playing with your feelings, he will stop being like that.

anton shakes his head. “no, they don’t.. but here’s the thing, *y/n*..”

the sudden change in the atmosphere makes you nervous so you sit up. still close to anton, but there’s a little distance between the two of you now.

“i‘ve been trying to tell you for the longest time that i don’t want to be just best friends with you,” anton blurts out. “i thought it was obvious that i like you.”

world stop. anton likes me?

“but everytime i try to make a move you put me back in the friendzone, saying things like ‘best friends don’t do that..”

with a sincere expression of sadness that makes your heart hurt, anton glances down at his hands.

“i guess you really don’t like me in that way and i was just stupid to to think that-”

refusing to let anton continue, you take hold of his hand and place it directly over your heart.

“do you feel this?” you whisper.

anton nods unsure.

“my heart beats this fast everytime i‘m with you.”

“is that a good or a bad sign?” anton pulls his hand away and looks questionably at you.

his question makes you laugh. “of course it’s a good sign.. it means that you’re the reason why my heart feels so alive.”

“oh,” anton nods, a little smile forming on his face. “so you do like me.”

now it’s you who’s nodding.

just a while ago you didn’t want anton to know how you really feel about him because you were so afraid that the feeling was one-sided, but now that you know it’s mutual, you’re ready to take the initiative.

you slip closer to anton and sit down on his lap. first he’s surprised at your sudden move, but then you feel his arms around your waist, holding you close to him.

seconds later, your lips meet his. not only was your heart racing faster than before, but because your bodies were so close, you could literally feel anton‘s heart racing as well.

you weren't expecting it, but as anton plastered kisses all over your face and neck, things heated up quickly. you didn't want him to stop, but knowing that your parents could walk into your room at any point made you want to go slowly.

“maybe we should continue this when we are alone, like completely,” you whisper as anton was kissing your neck.

“hmmm,” kiss. “maybe..” kiss. “you‘re..” kiss. “right.”

he stops, looking at you with the biggest smile on his face.

“this big smile looks good on you,” you put your arms around antons neck.

“and you know why i’m smiling like this? it’s because of you,” anton softly whispers before he plants another kiss on your lips.

[roseykat]

TITLE: Play Right

SUMMARY: The aftermath of the events that occurred at Hyunjin's apartment begins to unravel and sprout into things that are unsuspecting of Hyunjin and Jisung. While Jisung is under the disturbance of a text message he sent to Chan from your phone, he decides to turn to his friends to spill the beans.

TAGS: porn with plot, solo male masturbation, ruined orgasm, swearing, handjobs, soft moments, depictions of sexual intercourse, kissing, cum eating, orgasms, mainly m x m themes, alcohol is consumed (but nobody is drunk)

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSWF SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.

PART 1 + PART 2 - MASTERLIST

🏷️LIST: @chillichillicrabcrab23 @broken-glowsticks @ihatemen55 @boi-bi-ahaha @galamxy @weareapackofstrays @anglerfishiey @elizalabs3 @fr34k4c1dr41n @stayconnecteed @imnotjjini0325 @twinklix @meilix @livsposts @dawn-iscozy @princejisung @groovygroovyhyunjin @valibals @oiikaro @/itsthatbri @leftkittenface @/20minsat180degrees (if you want to be removed from the taglist going forward with this series, lmk!)

A/N: listened to Cigarettes out the window by TV Girl when I wrote most of this.

DISCLAIMER: before you read, this is a series so things are building up. There is a plot, so whilst this isn’t reader x member heavy based as the rest of the parts so far, that doesn’t mean to say that it won’t be in the future. Reader and Chan will get their time, don't worry, just want things to develop. This piece is more Jisung and Hyunjin focused iykwim x 

-

“The weather forecast for the upcoming week is predicted to be hotter than usual-“

“Ngh- fuck, right there...”

“-with temperatures expected to rise above thirty degrees. Weather Watch is also alerting citizens-“

“S-So good, baby…Y/N…”

“-in the city to prepare for the possibility of yet another monsoon-“

“Gonna…cum, gonna cum so hard for you…just like that…”

“-other regions of the outer city should also expect showers and hot temperatures-“ 

“Fuck’s sake!” 

With an angry groan and grumble, Hyunjin’s right hand stills over his slick, hard cock. His other hand yanks a pillow from his side and pelts it straight at his door to slam it right shut. Pathetic white strings of cum shot from his dark pink tip and land on his abdomen, some as far as his shirt that he had pulled up to his chest to avoid staining it. 

It’s been impossible for him to jerk off while the six o’clock weather is playing in the background from his lounge. The talk of monsoons and hot weather threatens the disappearance of the mental images he has of you in his brain, used as vital motivation to get himself off - a recurring activity that has been happening for the past two weeks. 

Summer doesn’t make it any better either. His body is sticky, sweat beading over his forehead from the disgusting, muggy heat that rivals the air con blowing throughout his apartment. Then the rain that lashes harshly at his windows is enough to drown out his own moans. It was a useless feat, just as useless as his own ruined orgasm that now put him in a bad mood. He had to satisfy his needs somehow. 

Instead of turning to porn, Hyunjin had something even better; you. The vivid images of his cock plunging fluidly into your wet pussy. The erotic sounds he extracted out of you with each thrust, that is when you weren’t choking on Jisung’s dick. He just wishes he could’ve seen your face when he made you cum.

Hyunjin sighs and presses his head back into the pillow. Before he gets to think about jumping in the shower, his phone rings from the nightstand. He picks up the device to see a very flattering drunk photo of Changbin appear on his screen. 

Hyunjin answers, “hey.” 

“Hyunjin, what are you doing right now?” Changbin asks.

“Watching the news,” he sniffs, he might as well have been watching the news.

“Boring. Did you not see the group chat messages?” 

“No, not yet. Why is something wrong?” 

“No, nothings wrong. Minho booked a table for hot pot and barbecue tonight. Figured you weren’t doing anything important so we’re all meeting up in half an hour,” Changbin explains. 

Barbecue and hot pot sounded nice. Surely it’ll be a method to dry out Hyunjin’s damp mood a little bit. That and a cold shower to freshen up. 

“Okay, yeah sounds good. Can you text me the details then?” 

As Hyunjin hung up and decided to start getting ready, it dawned on him that he hadn’t seen his friends in a couple of weeks, with a strong reference to you and Jisung. You had both been active in the group chat so he didn’t necessarily feel awkward about seeing the guy he had a threesome with. As for you, he really doesn’t know. 

You’re sweeter and easy to be around. Something about that just turns the entire situation on its head. Not that Jisung isn’t sweet or easy to be around in Hyunjin’s opinion, with you it’s different. Although, as he’s been mulling over the past couple of weeks, he’s discovered a few things about himself and Jisung. 

Dressing according to the weather, Hyunjin takes his umbrella with him on his way out in the hopes the rain won’t continue when he leaves the restaurant later on. After receiving the address from Changbin, thankfully just one subway stop away, Hyunjin heads off into the downfall and arrives fifteen minutes later. 

He was wrong to assume that he wasn’t going to feel awkward around Jisung, and now as he spots him at the table, engaging in a riveting conversation with Jeongin, all he feels is awkwardness. He waves out to him from down the way, ushering him to come over, lulling Hyunjin out of his own mind for a minute. 

“Hyunjin!” Jeongin called out cheerily, patting a spot beside him to come and sit. 

“Already started drinking Innie?” Hyunjin slings his arm around his younger friend's shoulder. 

“I couldn’t wait, sorry,” he responds and pours Hyunjin a shot of his soju. “Long day.” 

“Did you eat before?” 

“Not since lunch,” he replies. 

Hyunjin shakes his head and warns, “Innie, you know it’s bad to drink on an empty stomach, right?” 

Jeongin shrugs, “like I said, long day.” 

Hyunjin picks up his shot glass, downing it in one go before setting the glass back down on the surface again. As he does, his eyes meet Jisung’s who stares intently at him from across the table. He shoots a cheeky wink at Hyunjin, forcing a deep red blush to emerge through his cheeks.

Hyunjin knew what that meant. 

Suddenly his mind races back to that night at his apartment; making out with Jisung, remembering suddenly the thought of what sort of tricks that mouth of his possesses, watching you suck him dry. He wasn’t going to be forgetting it any time soon, not when it fuels his jack off sessions at home. 

After the few lingering moments where the pair were still locking eyes, more of their friends started to show up. Seungmin was accompanied by his new girlfriend, glued to his hip who greeted everyone shyly. Hyunjin hadn’t actually properly met her, let alone talked to her yet, but she seemed nice. Once they had taken a seat on their cushions, Changbin rolled in with Felix and Minho in tow who was stuffing his keys into the pocket of his pants. 

“You guys are here early,” he says with surprise. 

“You were the one who organised it,” Jisung pointed out. 

“That I did,” Minho nods, sitting down with everyone else. 

Felix groans as he flops next to Changbin, “I’m hungry, it's not even funny.”

As everyone settled down, trays of fresh veggies, assortments of meat, and other items were brought to their table for them to cook. Minho decided to get started on grilling while Seungmin opted to bring the hot pot on the table to a boil. The smell of the food made Hyunjin almost forget why he was slightly nervous about going out in the first place.

He got back to talking with Jeongin, asking him how work has been treating him, what he’s been up to since they last saw each other, and even planned a time to hang out in the future. 

“What about you, Jisung?” Jeongin asks with a mouthful of bossam. “Haven’t seen you in ages. Been up to anything interesting these days?” 

Jisung finishes slurping up some of the rice noodles Felix had cooked for him from the hot pot, “here and there. Mainly just working now.”

“Ah,” Jeongin nods in understanding. “You always work so much. No wonder why it’s hard for you to hang out with us sometimes.” 

That’s when it hits Jisung, causing him to pause and realise that something isn’t right. He can’t believe it’s taken him this long to realise it when it’s right there in plain sight.

“Where is Y/N and Chan?” He questions.

“Mm! Gonna…gonna cum all over your cock, wanna cum for you so bad,” you strain out. “Makes me feel so fucking good.”

Chan looks up at you, a deranged and desperate expression paints his face as you ride his dick, “don’t stop riding me then. Need to see that pretty pussy cum all over me.” 

Minho flips over pieces of meat on the grill, “Chan is out of the city with his family at the moment. They flew in a few days ago.” 

“You’re creaming so much around me baby,” Chan growls, nails digging painfully into the skin over your hips. “This pussy is all mine.” 

“And Y/N’s still at work,” Minho continues, plating some of the veggies he had been charring on the side too.

Moans erupt from your chest, projecting out into Chan’s lounge, “C-Channie, so good, make me cum, please-“

Jisung nods. It’s not suspicious at all to him that neither of you are here. The two people to an unwanted jigsaw puzzle that he had been piecing together just so happened to be ‘missing.’ Of course, none of the other guys truly knew why. At least he doesn’t think. 

Maybe you two really are in separate locations - not that he believes it. The one thing he knows for absolute sure to be the cold, hard truth, is that you and Chan are most definitely seeing each other casually - fucking behind everyone’s backs. Then again, so did he and Hyunjin in some sense.

Nonetheless, for the past couple of weeks, Jisung was storing that message he received on your phone from Chan in the back of his mind. It affirms a glimmer of a suspicion that Jisung held about Chan previously; that he was seeing someone. 

“Well, that just confirms everything then,” Jisung mutters under his breath, concluding his answer there and then in his mind. 

“Confirms what?” Minho questions, his hawk grade hearing picking up on his undertone. 

“Nothing, just a theory that I have,” he says smartly. “I was just thinking about it and...” 

“And what?” Minho presses.

“And whether I should be sharing it or not,” he replies, unsure of his own answer. 

“Well you have to now since you brought it up,” Felix exclaims. 

“It’s nothing,” Jisung brushes it off, making everyone at the table wonder what the hell he’s on about. 

“Nah, it has to be something,” Seungmin shakes his head and begins wondering what it is. “If it wasn’t important, he’d just say it. But he’s not.”

Is it even Jisung’s place to tell everyone? No. Should he still do it? No. But that’s what friends do. They talk and speculate about who they think are the perfect matches in the group or who out of everyone would marry if they had no other option. Topics as such.

In this case, it’s whether you and Chan are sleeping together or not, which Jisung already has the answer to. Whether he decides to tell the truth would just be speculation to the others since they never saw what Jisung did. They can decide to believe it or not.

However, does he trust his friends with the truth and to not say anything? Without a shadow of a doubt. So with that sliver of comfort in his mind that makes him think he’s not doing the wrong thing, Jisung chooses to divulge. 

“Y/N and Chan are fucking.”

Everyone’s heads at the table fixes onto Jisung. Not a single mouth moved out of surprise as the silence threads its way around. It makes him feel terribly awkward.

This is news to everyone, particularly to the person sitting opposite him; Hyunjin. Someone who, upon hearing what just came out of Jisung’s mouth, didn’t believe it for a second - did not want to believe it.

“You’re lying,” Seungmin accuses immediately from the other end of the table. 

“That’s your theory?” Changbin questions. “That Chan and Y/N are together?”

“Not together, together,” Jisung makes haste to correct him. “I just have reason to believe that they’re seeing each other casually is all.”

“I don’t believe you,” Seungmin responds, letting his strong opinion be known. “What is that reason anyway?”

“I swear on everyone I know, I saw a text message proving it on her phone,” Jisung mentions before his blood starts running cold. He almost gave away more than he should’ve.

Without context of the night in question, none of them know. Not even Hyunjin, who was a third party to it all, didn’t exactly know. He can only guess if what Jisung is referring to is the dirty text message that was sent off of your phone to Chan during the game of truth or dad. Then again, it’s not a thought that he even remotely considers when his mind has been stuck on the fact that you and Chan are potentially hooking up. 

“What the hell are you going through her phone for?” Felix asks defensively. 

“Yeah, that’s not okay,” Jeongin adds. 

“N-No! I wasn’t going through her phone, I just…saw them, by accident,” he responds out of desperation. 

He doesn’t want to disclose that night to his friends. Sure they’re all mates and share everything with each other, but that’s just Jisung. Hyunjin keeps aspects of his life relatively private and Jisung is sure that you wouldn’t appreciate him going around telling everyone what happened. But at that thought, he starts second guessing himself and what he just did. If he thinks you wouldn’t be okay with him sharing information about that night, how is it any different from him saying the same thing about you and Chan? 

It doesn’t take long for Jisung to feel regret and guilt for ever bringing it up. 

“Even if they are, who cares? Good for them, and if they start going out - even better. Y/N’s a massive upgrade from that chick he was seeing before,” Minho explains. 

“That’s probably why they’re messing around,” Felix theorises. 

“I still don’t reckon they are,” Seungmin puts in his opinion again. 

“Why?” Felix asks. 

“I just don’t see it,” he shrugs. “Chan seems like the type of person who wouldn’t sleep around because he only wants to be with someone that he really, really likes.” 

Those words do not sit well with Hyunjin. 

“And Chan told you that himself, did he?” Minho snickers. “If that’s your reasoning, then it sounds like they’re already going out.” 

Hyunjin and Jisung’s eyes immediately lock onto each other in horror. 

“I don’t know if you heard the word ‘seems’ in my sentence, implying that I’m only guessing but okay,” Seungmin bites back, earning him a finger flick to his arm by Jeongin for talking back like that to their older friend. 

“Ten bucks that they are,” Minho says on a different topic. “Ten bucks that they aren’t,” Seungmin counters. 

“A-Are you saying that none of you believe me?” Jisung whines. 

“We’re saying that we don’t have enough evidence – any of us, not just you since you bought up the topic,” Minho replies. 

“What about tonight? Neither of them are here, where do you think they might be?” Jisung attempts to raise a good point, but Changbin spots the obvious loopholes. 

“We already told you. Chan isn’t even in the city since he’s spending time with his family, and Y/N’s still at work,” he answers. “And we know that because Chan messaged the group chat to tell us that he wasn’t going to be coming to dinner and we know Y/N doesn’t finish until six thirty.”

“They could be lying,” Jeongin conspires. 

“That’s only for tonight though. I know he’s been acting shady lately so I reckon he is,” Felix announces. 

“Hyunjin?” Changbin pokes him in the arm, trying to prod an answer out of him. 

He responds quietly but honestly, “I-I don’t think they are.” 

“That settles it then,” Minho begins instigating once more. “Two of you bet that they aren’t and the rest of us bet that they are.”

“We are not betting on our friends right now,” Jisung tries to calm the masses. 

“Mm! How about losers have to pay for a day of food when we go to Jeju?” Jeongin suggests. 

The majority of the table begins to erupt in agreement, making it impossible for Jisung to rewrite something he just initiated. Everyone immediately starts talking details about what food they would request if they won the bet, then would eventually return to the topic of you and Chan. 

Hyunjin didn’t really want to hear another word of it. Instead, he pours himself another shot of Jeongin’s soju in the hopes his thoughts about the situation start to melt. Until he gets to that stage, it’s easy for him to wallow in his feelings. A selfish part of him wants whatever connection there is between you and Chan to falter to the point of no return. Then the other half scolds his mind for wishing such a misfortune on his friend.

But nobody knew. Nobody knew that Hyunjin had feelings for you nor did he want anyone to know. He’d rather die than tell someone he likes them for fear that they won’t like him the way he does. It’s almost like he’s saving himself from the pain and hopes that it’ll pass. However, there was also ‘instigator number two’ sitting across from him who had been making regular appearances in his brain since that night. Hyunjin doesn’t know what it means, if it even means anything for that matter.

So by the end of the dinner, everyone had their bets placed. 

The whole lot of them lingered outside the restaurant after some filling meals as some of the others waited for their rides back home. All aside from Felix and Jeongin who decided to go bar hopping for more drinks. Changbin and Seungmin were laughing away at something they were discussing while Minho was chatting to his friend's new girlfriend. Hyunjin on the other hand stood away from them, up against the wall of the building as he scrolls aimlessly on his phone. 

“Hey,” says Jisung, emerging from the restaurant. 

Hyunjin turns to his friend, realising it’s the first time they’ve directly spoken to each other in a while, “hi.” 

“You know it feels like I haven’t seen you since-“

“That’s because you haven’t, Jisung,” he cuts him off sharply, having already foreseen what Jisung was about to say after the word ‘since.’ 

He smiles sheepishly, “right. So, what are your plans now?”

Hyunjin doesn’t think and shrugs, “gonna go home, paint, watch TV or something.”

“Cool. I’m coming with you.” 

Hyunjin didn’t have any say in the matter. Jisung was going to follow him home like his own shadow whether he liked it or not. It dismissed Hyunjin from grovelling in his feelings and mind after hearing the situation between you and Chan. One half of his heart yearned to cry while the other wanted to punch Chan in the ribs. He doesn’t know. He’s conflicted. But they are aspects that remain undetected to Jisung as they sat next to each other quietly on the subway back to his home. 

The pair walked under Hyunjin’s umbrella for a few hundred metres until they were under the shelter of the apartment complex. He doesn’t mind accommodating people at his place since he spends the majority of his time in voluntary solitude. It allows him to fully recuperate from social settings in order to go out again. This time, with less company, it’s still equally welcoming. So after Hyunjin unlocks his front door for both of them enter, take off their shoes, and store them neatly. 

“Ah~” Jisung sighs with relief, stretching out his arms and stands right underneath a device mounted to the top of the wall. “Air con!” 

“Don’t you have one? I thought you did,” Hyunjin mistakenly thought. 

“It broke,” he mumbles, revelling in the cold artificial breeze. “Been waiting three weeks for it to be fixed.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything after that. He lets Jisung do whatever he wants while he heads into his room to change from his clothes to a black tank top and a pair of shorts. In his spare room that he’s been slowly transitioning to an art space, he goes in and collects some of his unfinished art, paints, and brushes. After, he returns to the lounge, he sets everything down on the coffee table and pulls up some floor cushions for him and Jisung to sit on. 

“Oh, tangerines,” he suddenly remembers as his eyes clock onto the silver fruit bowl on his kitchen counter while Jisung takes his jacket off and hangs it up. 

“Tangerines? In summer?” Jisung asks as he goes to sit down. 

Hyunjin places the bowl of the fruit between him and his friend as he lowers down too, “why not? I got them fresh from the market the other day.”

“I can only eat them in the winter.”

“Alright then,” Hyunjin shrugs and starts peeling one for himself as Jisung reaches for the remote and turns on the TV. 

For a while, they sit together. Hyunjin switches between picking up his paintbrush and pieces of fruit whereas Jisung’s eyes are glued to some hot drama playing across the screen. It’s nice to just be in the same room with someone and to not have a full on conversation that ends up being draining on their social batteries. Both of them are the perfect introverts for thriving in those types of environments. A peaceful comfort.

Time seems to pass in their space as Jisung nears the end of the episode and Hyunjin is rounding off one area of his painting. By that time, Hyunjin had eaten five tangerines then opted to bring some more. He offered to Jisung if he wanted something else to eat or drink, but the man was so hooked on this drama that he didn't even hear Hyunjin ask.

He found it…slightly…endearing. Just a bit. But then he went back to his work and all was forgotten until Jisung finally started speaking again.

“Hyunjin,” he starts in a low voice, still staring at the screen. 

“Hmm?” 

“Are we gonna talk about the other night?” Jisung mentions.

His hand freezes over his canvas, a small dollop of paint drips from the end of his brush and onto his work. Hyunjin wasn’t exactly expecting to hear that question, yet at the same time, he should’ve seen it coming. 

“W-What about it?” He responds awkwardly. 

Jisung leans back, both of his hands propping him up from behind as he looks up to the ceiling, “the fact that we kissed, well… made out mainly.” 

“Yeah, that’s right,” he said, unsure of what to actually ask him here. “Do you…regret it?”

“No! No way!” Jisung exclaims rather quickly before he calms down. “No, I don’t. In fact…it was…actually really good.” 

In the back of Hyunjin’s mind, he can almost predict what’s about to happen. Jisung wouldn’t have brought up the subject unless it was really affecting him - unless he was dying to get it off his chest. Otherwise he would’ve let it simmer down, but taking into account that it had been two weeks and he wants to unpack everything, there was clearly something irking him in a way that only Hyunjin seems to understand. 

“You looked…good that night,” he adds then corrects himself. “You do look good.” 

Hyunjin peers up from his work. What’s he supposed to say to that? Is he supposed to divulge the fact that he thinks the same of Jisung? He doesn’t even know entirely what he feels, having just accepted that he slept with his two friends and sort of went on with life.

“What did you follow me back to my apartment for?” Hyunjin gets straight to the point. 

His friend sits back up and looks him dead in the eye, “let’s just say I didn’t follow you back to eat some fruit and watch TV.”

“Then what?” Hyunjin urges impatiently even though his and Jisung’s faces slowly draw towards each other.

Jisung’s eyes drop down to Hyunjin’s lips, and says in a quiet voice, “because I wanted to kiss you again.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t know when, but it happened. One second he had his gaze set on Jisung’s soft expression and the next his eyes were closed, allowing his brain to focus on what’s physically happening. Their lips meet for the second time since the first, this time a little slower and tender.

As the TV plays in the background, all the two of them can hear is the sound of their mouths moving - breaking apart for a couple of moments even though their noses still touch, tilting their heads in different directions to see what’s the better angle. 

The sweet, citrine aftertaste of tangerine lingers in Hyunjin’s mouth, a pleasure to savour when Jisung is able to explore it with his tongue. In Hyunjin’s left hand, the paintbrush slips from his grip, its tip smearing more paint onto his work. But there is a great distance between him and being bothered about it. He worries more about the reaction, that after minutes of kissing, stirs in his pants when Jisung’s hand finds its way onto his lap, barely caressing his thigh. His cock has started filling out. 

He doesn’t notice it until slowly yet surely, Jisung’s hand inches closer to the ever growing, obvious bulge in his friend's shorts. The second he makes contact with Hyunjin’s clothed dick, a moan shoots through from his mouth and into Jisung’s. He pulls away for a second, staring at his lips.  

“You really are a good kisser,” Jisung breathes. 

“Jisung…” Hyunjin struggles, his forehead comes to rest against Jisung’s as he stares down at his hand. It palms slowly, agonisingly slow. 

“You’re so hard for-“

He cups Jisung’s mouth before he can complete the rest of his sentence, “shut up, I know,” he cuts him off bitterly. 

A chuckle reverberates through his hand as Jisung takes it away but decides to continue holding it, “let me help you then.” 

It’s not difficult for him to read the room. He knows what Hyunjin wants and how obvious it is that he needs it. His cock silently screams for touch, to be relieved. So at the perfect moment, Jisung reaches into Hyunjin’s shorts and past his boxes.

A quiet hiss issues from his mouth when the entire length of his dick is free from restriction. His cock is beautiful. Jisung never managed to get a good look at it since it was either in your mouth or drilling your pussy from behind.

Jisung licks his way into Hyunjin’s mouth, his tongue dancing across his plush bottom lip before he breaks away for a moment. Excitement surges through him now that he finally gets to feel what he’s been wanting to since that night two weeks ago. He stares down at Hyunjin’s cock, pre-cum beads at the tip, some had already leaked down his length.

For Jisung to have him so aroused, so desperate for touch, proves the effect his friend has on him that he suspected was present. Hyunjin had an inkling of it when you all slept together, but nothing other than that. A pang of realisation maybe, that his friend was attractive and alluring in a sense, and it was obvious that Jisung felt the same. 

He takes a soft hold of the top of Hyunjin’s cock, the pad of his index finger swiping over his tip and pulling away. He watches the thick string of glimmering pre-cum connect him and Hyunjin, forcing a wave of embarrassment to come crushing over him. It wasn’t embarrassing to Jisung. It was hot. So fucking hot.

Seeing the impact of his own actions on Hyunjin’s body gave him a sense of power so to speak. It made him want to see more as he started tugging gently at his dick. He trusted that Hyunjin’s pre-cum would act almost as a lube, and sure enough with more strokes, his cock was sticky with it. Nothing but slick sounds and tiny, barely there whimpers from Hyunjin’s mouth fill his lounge, drowning out the next episode of the drama that was still playing. 

“Mm…it…mmm.” 

“Don’t be shy Hyunjinnie,” Jisung prompts him to become more vocal, to express what he’s feeling however he wants. “We’re friends, since when have you ever been quiet around me?” 

Hyunjin replies breathlessly, “friends…d-don’t get each other off.”

“Hey, you haven’t gotten me off yet,” Jisung reminds him. 

Yet. 

In his mind that starts to slip through his fingers like sand, Hyunjin was no longer able to tell if that was an empty possibility or a very real chance of it happening. For the time being, he chooses to focus on pleasure. The satisfaction of having something wrapped around his cock to relieve him, and the divine pressure that begins to store at the base of his cock from Jisung’s long strokes. 

“Feel good?” He asks. 

The question alone is enough to make Hyunjin lower his head and close his eyes, too shy to meet Jisung’s ardent gaze. Instead, he gives an affirming nod. 

“Good,” Jisung mumbles quietly, then finds Hyunjin’s lips once more with his own to kiss him.

God he can’t stop kissing him. 

The way they melt into each other is almost like they’ve done this a hundred times prior. Jisung tugs and strokes Hyunjin’s length so attentively, greedily drawing out every single reaction he can possibly get. The hushed moans that transmit from his mouth as Jisung’s tongue moves lazily to explore. Very abruptly however, Hyunjin breaks away from the kiss. 

“G-Gonna make me cum,” he swallows hard. 

Jisung’s eyes nearly roll into the back of his head just hearing that. To him, those words are not only a specific type of praise or reward, but it’s coupled with the way that Hyunjin sounds right in his ear. His tense, high pitched whimpers become more frequent and stressed as Jisung has been building him up to the height of his orgasm.

“Cum for me then,” Jisung whispers to him.

Suddenly, the air snags inside Hyunjin’s throat. His head drops and all the attention gravitates towards his cock, shivering as he starts to orgasm.

“Ngh - ‘sung…cumming,” he strains out, breathing deeply but staggered. 

Jisung catches his seed in the cupped palm of his hand as he manages to stroke the tip of his length at the same time. He looked so beautiful when his mind and body writhe under his touch. Hyunjin’s moans complete the satisfaction Jisung feels to have unravelled his best friend like that. To see ribbons of his white warm cum in hand makes him struggle against the unhinged part of his brain that needs to taste it for himself. He can’t help it when the base of his palm reaches his mouth-

But it doesn’t stop Hyunjin’s face from twisting and screwing into an expression of revolt. 

“Jisung,” he says with a tone of warning. 

He hastily tucks himself back into his clothes, springs up from the coffee table and heads to the kitchen to grab a paper towel. After soaking it a little bit in some warm water from under the tap, he returns to Jisung and cleans his hand. Hyunjin didn’t want to make a note of the fact that most of Jisung’s palm was covered in cum and when he returned, it was almost like it was never there. Still, he did him the decency of helping clean him up. 

“Maybe wash your hand too,” he suggests with a concerned look still clouding his face. 

“Don’t look so offended, Hyunjin,” Jisung chuckles airly. “You taste good.” 

“Shut up, please,” is all he can come back with, then looks up to not only see that cocky, arrogant grin of Jisung’s but to also notice that there’s still a trace of his cum smeared a little bit on his bottom lip. Hyunjin reaches towards his friend’s face, thumbing the excess away.  

“Don’t waste anything,” Jisung scolds him.  

“Alright,” he rolls his eyes, done with the mortifying humiliation and stands up again to return to the kitchen with the dirty paper towel to chuck it away. 

“Wait, come back! Kiss me one more time and I swear I’ll stop embarrassing you!” he calls out to him.

Hyunjin stops listening to Jisung and all the whiny complaints he propels from the coffee table. Instead, something else suddenly occupies his attention. The one thing that threatens to unbalance his mood once more. 

“Jisung,” Hyunjin says. “Is it true? About Y/N and Chan?”

“Huh?” He answers, “Oh, yeah. It is.” 

Hyunjin’s gaze falls to the floor. That answers that then. 

Jisung then continues, “I didn’t want to mention how I saw the message though. If I did, it might’ve put you and Y/N in the spotlight about that night we had when you probably didn’t want to. Plus, they’re like jackals. They would’ve torn you to shreds just to get an answer.” 

Hyunjin nods, appreciative of his friend's move, “thanks. But should you have told them about Y/N and Chan anyway?”

Jisung did realise at one stage that he told their friends about you and Chan, but didn’t apply that same energy towards bringing up himself, you, and Hyunjin. There wasn’t that much of a difference when he looks at it now since he’s also messed around with you both, similar to the way Chan is currently messing around with you.

But Jisung knows for a fact that he didn’t bring it up because he wanted to save his own skin or divert any suspicion or attention away from himself. It was just so scandalous to find out that the two least suspecting people on his radar of who in the group would be fucking, is you and Chan. 

“They said they weren’t going to say anything,” Jisung responds. “I trust them that much, not that I should be making a big deal about it, but I want to go see Chan. I know that they’re not, but I want to make sure that they aren’t actually dating, otherwise-“

“We’d have to tell him,” says Hyunjin.

“Exactly,” Jisung agrees. “Again, I don’t think that’s the case. Chan said so himself that he’s done with dating and relationships, and I trust that wholeheartedly too.”

Hyunjin gives a nod and decides to hold out onto hope. Hope that you’re not seeing him and that it’s just something that turns out to be a stupid rumour. In the meantime, he needs to figure out his feelings. 

Too tired to make the commute back to his own place, Jisung ended up staying the night at Hyunjin’s. He could’ve well and truly slept on the couch but for what it was worth, he was invited to sleep in Hyunjin’s bed. It’s not like they’ve never slept next to each other. But for some reason, it means something a bit more. Something hazy that exists in a twilight zone that Hyunjin only hopes clears up so he can decipher what he feels towards Jisung. 

The thought floats around in his mind before he drifts off, sleeping comfortably, only to wake up the next morning tangled in each other’s arms.

Neither of them were bothered about it. 

[ao3commentoftheday]

This is more of a question for the fanfic author community at large. Recently I had someone tell me they were writing a fic based on my fic. I was obviously flattered by it. But when their fic was posted, it was basically a re-write of exactly what I'd written. And that made me feel uncomfortable, because my story was a very specific AU. I know in fandom/fanfic anything goes and people are free to do what they want. Who am I to say 'no you can't write this'? I brushed it off and let it go. But it just got me internally asking: what are some rules of decorum around fics inspired by other fics? Can I as an author say it made me uncomfortable? If author A is writing something based on author B's work, is it expected for author A to tell author B about it? I welcome any other discussion on this topic that I didn't cover in my questions because I'm curious to see what others think! Thanks!

I'm not going to lie to you, anon, this one can be a bit of a minefield.

There's a tradition? (if that's the right word) in fandom of asking permission before writing a work inspired by someone else's fanwork.

While we don't do this with the creators of canon, we also don't share a community with the creators of canon. In fandom spaces, everyone knows everyone to a certain degree. This might be less true now that fandom has exploded in popularity in recent years, but even so.

I personally love when someone writes something inspired by my work, and I've written a few fics inspired by others too. It's part of that community sharing that I value so much in fandom.

But the minefield comes in when the original fan author feels like the "inspired by" fic is a little too close to their own.

Emotions can be fraught in online spaces where tone is hard to convey over text and there tends to be an assumption of the worst motives and interpretations rather than the best.

You're definitely well within your rights to feel uncomfortable about what that other person wrote. I'm not going to tell you that your emotions are wrong or unfounded. In fact, I'd likely feel the same way if I were in your place.

What you do about that feeling is your own decision to make. Do you just sit on it and hope it goes away? Do you reach out to that other author and say something about it? Do you just vent to a friend and get it out that way?

Folks who have had similar experiences, share what happened if you're willing. From either A or B's perspective.

[hellishjoel]

pretty little thing

4.9k /  dbf!joel/brat tamer!joel x f!reader

← masterlist

Summary:  After Joel misses two of your secret hookup dates, you send him a picture to show him just what he’s missing… while you're in Joel’s bed and he’s across the street at your dad’s house. 

Warnings/Information/Heads-Up: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, smut, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s, Joel in his 40’s), sending/receiving nudes, dbf!joel, brat tamer!joel, a lil choking, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names, praise, denial/edging followed by overstimulation, temperature play (kind of?), reader’s dad being a cockblock (TWICE)

A/N: based on this lovely request! I love dbf!joel, I’ll never get enough.  Masterlist

You had to take the perfect picture, one to show him what he was missing. You had to take one at just the right angle to show off your tits and the curve of your ass, the dark green lace material leaving little to the imagination.  Finally, you sent off the picture with a rush of adrenaline, biting on your nail as you smirked.  “Gonna have to start without you xx” And you weren’t lying.  Your hand moved down the smooth skin of your stomach, eyes fluttering closed as you let out a heavy breath feeling how wet you were growing. Breaking his rules felt like a flood of excitement.  It didn’t take him more than a minute for your text to go from Delivered, to Seen at 9:02 PM, to the little … messaging dots.  “Are you in my fucking bed?” He wrote back.

You have been so careful these past few months. You had followed his rules. 

1. Time Limit: If you were sneaking out of your dad’s house to meet up with Joel, you couldn’t stay the night. 

This usually meant you running barefoot across the road from Joel’s house before the sun peeked over the hill of your cul-de-sac and back through your cracked open window with time to spare. Joel wasn’t really a “sleep over, I’ll make you coffee and breakfast in the morning” type of guy. You snuck over, did your dirty deeds, and always left him wanting more by the time you slipped out of his dark gray sheets. Not so much more that he was begging you to stay, but just enough for him to invite you back over.

2. Exposure: Don’t awkwardly avoid each other in public. 

Joel, being your dad’s closest buddy, meant he was often over at your house for a number of reasons. Your dad had a boat down on the lake, so the two liked to fish. Your dad also owned a few nice motorcycles and always lent one to Joel so they could ride together during the summer. Sometimes, Joel would just come over because he was bored. With Sarah away at school, his entertainment was down to whatever beer he had in his fridge and the worn-in spot on his La-Z-Boy recliner catching a Rangers game. It was crucial not to avoid each other, or else it would just look out of the ordinary. Like something was going on between the two of you.

3. Paparazzi: No photos. 

It’s as basic as it sounds. No taking photos of each other during your hidden moments away from the rest of the world. That meant no snapping pictures of Joel while you were out at dinner a few towns away, no videos of him railing you (no matter how many times you begged him), and definitely no nudes. 

He had a bunch of other rules he had initiated over time, ones he made after you had broken an unknown boundary. 

“It’s better for us this way, darlin’.  Don’t want no one findin’ out ‘bout us.” 

It had been well over a week since Joel invited you over last. And you were actually going insane. You both kept a standing reservation for the other on Friday nights. Fridays were at the request of Joel. After a long week of work, all he wanted to do was to come home, have a shower, and fall into bed with you. 

You’d tell your dad you were going out with friends, and if your dad tried to hang out with Joel, he would say he was FaceTiming with Sarah that evening. 

However, that plan harshly backfired when your dad insisted he wanted to hang out with his friends on Friday nights, too. 

“Come on, Joel, call Sarah tomorrow. We’re going out to the bar for a drink!”

You loved your dad, but he was a fucking cockblock. 

“We’ll meet tomorrow night, baby girl. Can’t say no to your daddy when he just wants some company.” 

His text message to you Friday night left little comfort to the aching between your legs, a whine leaving you in annoyance when you hid away in your bedroom, having to help yourself for the night. 

Apparently, Joel missed the memo that he was supposed to join your dad for one of the Rangers’ night games that following Saturday. 

“Come on, Joely, it’s the Rangers against the fuckin’ Padres!”

Your dad did have a certain distaste for the Padres, a distaste he thought he would share with Joel over beer with chips and dip in the den. 

Now, you were angry. So sexually frustrated that you could punch a hole through the damn drywall. You had to watch Joel come over to your house, wearing the dark green flannel that was labeled yours on Friday nights, with his freshly trimmed beard scruff that he probably trimmed just for you the night before. 

His eyes read slightly apologetic when he glanced in your direction upon entering the house, but your revenge plans were already drawn out. 

“Daddy, I’m going out.” You said as you leaned down to kiss his cheek and grab your keys from the dish. 

“Two nights in a row, kiddo?” He asked, his eyes not straying from the TV, munching on a chip as he watched the wind up of a pitch. 

A simple “mhm” left your lips as you started to exit the den. Joel’s curious gaze slyly followed your exit, glancing over you slowly. “Well, that’s 23 for ya. That will be your Sarah soon. Going out every night, makin’ trouble.” Your dad laughed as he told Joel, but you could see there was no smile on his face as he let out a forced little grumble.

With little curiosity from your occupied father, you went out the front door and hastily moved across the street to Joel’s house. It tasted like rain in the air, the dark clouds looming overhead confirming it. 

You used the hidden key, your key, from under a plant at the back door and let yourself in, shimmying into the darkness that veiled the inside of his home.  

You didn’t need to turn on a light, the home had become a blueprint in your head from all of your late-night rendezvous. Besides, a light on might signal the attention of your dad or Joel from across the street. 

Your breath was tight in your chest, you were so excited. It wasn’t often that you had the upper hand with Joel, but if your plan worked like you hoped it would, he would be the one begging for you. 

You shimmied out of your top and pants, revealing a dark green lingerie set. His favorite color. You pulled back his comforter and got into the familiar dark gray sheets, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment at his smell that soaked the material. You missed him, you missed his attention. Focus. 

You took a deep breath and pulled his sheets back, your phone in hand as you lifted it above your silhouette with the flash on. You smirked as you looked at your beautiful body through the camera’s lens, admiring each curve and dimple. He loved every inch of you, he told you so himself. 

You had to take the perfect picture, to show him what he was missing. You had to take one at just the right angle to show off your tits and the curve of your ass, the dark green lace material leaving little to the imagination. 

Finally, you sent off the picture with a rush of adrenaline, biting on your nail as you smirked. 

“Gonna have to start without you xx”

And you weren’t lying. 

Your hand moved down the smooth skin of your stomach, eyes fluttering closed as you let out a heavy breath feeling how wet you were growing. Breaking Joel’s rules felt like a flood of excitement. 

It didn’t take him more than a minute for your text to go from Delivered to Seen at 9:02 PM  to the little … messaging dots. 

“Are you in my fucking bed?” He wrote back. 

He sounded angry, the dark gray sheets caressing you suddenly felt territorial. You were in his house without permission, breaking cardinal rule number 3. What if he didn’t want to see you again? Those rules were there for a reason, it’s what kept this little relationship going for so long. What if breaking the rules meant breaking off things? How many strikes did you get? You never truly asked. Did he even give you any strikes!?

Your heart thumped as your phone buzzed again, staggering to grab it and flip it over to see another text from him. 

“New rule. Don’t touch yourself without me there. I’m leaving now.” 

Your lips parted at the sight, a sly and excited smirk gracing your lips as you let out a fawning sigh. You were happy to know it was okay to break a rule as long as he was into it. Typical man thing, but duly noted. 

You decided to watch him leave your house from the corner of his bedroom window. He left in a hurry, his flannel clutched in his hand as he angrily paced himself across the street. Droplets from the sky left darkened dots on his short sleeve t-shirt, his pace kicking up for more than one reason to get inside his house. 

Hearing him set foot in the house made your legs flutter tighter together. You concealed yourself with his comforter, just your head popping out as you eagerly awaited for his body to peer through the doorway. You almost didn’t know what to do. Being in his house unannounced felt like you should hide. 

He didn’t immediately come upstairs, he was taking his time. What was he doing? 

Finally, you heard his thunderous boots hit the stairs, trudging their way to his bedroom. You purse your lips eagerly, one of your hands under the sheets slipping into your lacey green panties again. 

Joel pushed open his bedroom door, your face dropping at the sight. You had never seen him so angry looking. His eyes narrowed on you in that stone-cold way that made your lips part. Oh, look, his half-age situationship was holed up in his bed, begging to be fucked. 

You needed to muster up some words and fast. 

“Joel, I-”

“What.. the HELL do you think you’re doin’ in here?” He barked so loud that your eyes went wide, and you held the comforter over your body as a shield now. Any nerve you had running over here like this was fucking gone. 

Was his text only a ploy so he could make sure you were here so he could yell at you? 

Your lips parted when you realized what was taking him so long downstairs. He was lowering the fucking thermostat. A shiver shuddered up your spine, grasping the comforter closer to be tucked under your chin. 

You whimpered again, but this time more loudly, your desperate eyes meeting his stoic face. His fist was still clutching his flannel, his knuckles white, and the material surely crumpled up. 

“I asked what the hell you were doin’ over here, fuckin’ answer me.” Joel’s words were growled and low, a sorry spot in your stomach forming where your body’s heat drained. You had never seen this side of him before. With one foul move of his arm, he ripped back the comforter to reveal your half-naked body.

The cold rushed over you once more, leaving you whimpering as you pulled your hand out from where you were previously feeling up your slick. You needed to coax him out of his mood.

“I just wanted to see you, baby. Needed you yesterday… still need you tonight.” Despite the chill, you laid back in his sheets and accentuated your body, your hands smoothing over yourself. One hand cupped your breasts, fingernail gently tugging on your bralette strap while your other hand guided over the curve of your hip and played with the thin lace of your thong. 

He couldn’t help but let his gaze slip, taking a deep breath in through his nose while his eyes fell lower to the curve of your breasts amplified by the bralette. You were his pretty little thing, always have been, always will be. How could he resist you laying in his bed like this, all prepped and primed for him? Wearing his favorite color…

It didn’t take him long to decide, he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him.

Joel’s hand reached out first, his rough fingertips delicately brushing up the skin on your thigh, instantly causing goosebumps in their path.

“What did you say to my dad that he let you leave the watch party early?” You asked curiously, your eyes fluttering up to his amber ones. Another soft lightning strike hit in the distance and highlighted his taut jawline. 

He hesitated before answering, a sly smile slowly growing on his pretty lips. He grunted and rolled his eyes before answering. 

“Told ‘em I couldn't watch the shit show the Rangers were puttin’ on. Wanted to come home.” 

You giggled a bit as your hand reached up to tug at his belt a bit. 

“Emphasis on come home.” You teased, your heart fluttering thinking of how he showed up for you. 

Over time, Joel had developed this stupid hold over you, and when you didn’t get his attention, you could turn into a bit of a brat. Listen, once you have Joel Miller’s cock inside you, it changes your life. Going without it feels like a sick detox. 

“You wore this little thing for me, huh?” His southern drawl was enough to make your stomach churn in excitement, letting out a shaky breath as your head nodded against his pillows.

His pointer finger hooked into the material of your thong, your long eyelashes batting up to him. 

He was going too slow for your pace. You were about to speak up about it, but he interrupted your thoughts. 

“You were touching yourself.”

Your lips parted, and your lusted-over eyes began to focus again on his face. Suddenly, it got frigid again. 

“What?”

“When I pulled the covers back, your hands were in your panties. You were touching yourself.” The statement made your lungs tight. 

“I told you not to touch yourself without me here, you didn’t fuckin’ listen.” His words were spat with punishment, a loud whine leaving you as he pulled his hand from you. 

“Joel, please, I wasn’t-” “You really lyin’ to me right now?” His voice boomed, guilt soaking over you. 

“The new rule was established long after I touched myself, Joel.” Your tone was all sass, eyes glaring up at him for not giving you what you wanted. 

He let out a quiet little scoff and looked over you with a half-smirk. 

“Is that so?” His eyes were daggers. 

“Yep. When you ditched me last night, and I was left all alone, I..” Your voice trailed off, lips parting as you suddenly felt shy about getting off in private. At least, telling him off about it. 

“And you what?” His voice gritted, his head cocking up as he looked you up and down. 

You took a big inhale through your nose, sitting up as your body scrambled to get on your knees on the mattress. 

“And I fingered myself until I came. Since you weren’t there to take care of me, I did it myself.” You snapped, your arms crossing in front of you, shuddering a bit with the cold. Your nipples were taut peaks under the green bralette now. 

He slowly nodded, assessing what to do with you behind his eyes, weighing his options. 

“Is that so?” 

Your lips parted as you glanced down, his bulge resting heavily against his thigh. Ugh! Why wasn’t he putting it to use? You were right there!

You supposed he decided enough was enough, and Joel was ready to play. 

Your skin was doubling in goosebumps, whimpering as his warm hands nearly felt like they were searing you as he pulled you in by your waist, leaning down to connect your lips in a dirty haste. 

A happy moan was released from the depth of your throat, arms instantly locking around his neck and tugging his hair at the nape of his neck to keep him close. You could feel him shuffling with the kiss, smirking against him as you felt him kick his boots off blindly. 

“Joel, baby, it’s too cold.” You whispered to him as your lips moved to sponge kisses up his bearded jawline, a new patch of silver and white hairs adorning his lower cheek that you paid special attention to. 

He pulled away for a moment and got a better look at your face. “You really want me to go downstairs right now and change-” 

“No.” You quickly said, with a slight smile as you pulled him back in. 

He settled on the bed, clothes on and all. You were about to fall between his legs, but he was already positioning you where he wanted. 

He was sitting up now with his back against the headboard, an empty space between his legs where he encouraged you to sit. You moved in with a small smile, your back to his front with his jean-clad thighs around your hips. His hands began to explore you, his lips attaching to your neck as your head fell back onto his shoulder, eyes blissfully falling closed. His calloused hands felt over what he pleased, cupping your chest as he bit into your neck before moving down to your wet panties. 

You had been aching for hours, days even for this man’s touch. 

A stray moan left your lips, head still lulling around on his shoulder. You felt his arms constrict around you, arms pinned at your sides, and when you tried to move them, his only grew tighter. 

“Joel,” you whimpered, his digits slipping into the front of the material as he slowly moved his fingers up and down your slick. 

You yearned to hold him, kiss him, do anything to keep yourself distracted from his neurotically slow pace. 

“Joel-” you said in a short-tempered warning tone. 

Suddenly, his free hand was on your throat, your eyes clenching closed as he held you in one spot, fingers slowly circling your now throbbing clit. 

“You got started without me, figure’ you’d want all this attention.” His low voice growled into your ear, a futile whimper leaving your lips. 

“If you’re gonna act like a brat, not gonna give’ya what ya want.” An exhausted sigh left your lips, head slacking back against his shoulder again as his hold on your throat loosened.

It was painful the way he tortured you. His ankles had locked yours to be spread wide, your trembling legs giving away your impending orgasm. 

You were damn near lapping like an overworked dog in the sun every time he got you close and stopped all movements, tears threatening to spill at the frustration. 

He had been circling your engorged clit for who knows how long now. Your head had fallen limp on his shoulder and bicep, your back was either strictly straight with electricity or slumped against him with Joel practically holding up your weight. 

“J-Joel, I can’t keep taking this, please,” you whimpered. You looked like a wreck. Your mascara made your eyes teary, smudged black on your waterline, and your mouth was dry from all your broken moans and gasps. 

Your desperation didn’t change his mind. He was a stone wall right now. This was maybe the third time he denied your orgasm. You lost count. Your body no longer had the strength to hold itself up. And no matter how hot your body got each time you came close to an orgasm, the cold chill rushed back in just as he pulled away. 

“Gonna have to keep takin’ it, naughty girl. Broke more rules than I can count on both hands tonight alone.” You let out a disgruntled sigh, feeling his boner nudging against your back. 

A soft smirk graced your lips as you took what strength you could muster, your heels digging into the mattress as you grinded back against him. Your lips parted at the feeling of him poking into your ass, purposely moaning his name against the shell of his ear. 

The action only worsened your punishment, his fingers moving at a lightning-fast pace suddenly.

“F-Fuck! Joel!” A clap of thunder concealed your cries, harsh rain pitter-pattering against Joel’s window. You wiggled in his hold, breathing heavily as you begged him to let you cum.

“Please! Please! Please, Joel! Please!” One of your hands gripped his large thigh for stability, your nervous system a wreck as you tried to muscle through another one of his denials. Your heart raced, just at your peak and ready to pop, nails clenching into his jeans as he went to an all-halting stop once more. 

This time, he let your body go and moved out from behind you, your body in shambles as you fell into his pillows. You felt numb, yet so short-circuited. Your brain could barely hold a thought besides what he made you say after every denial. 

“I will not disobey the rules.” Joel’s voice scolded, whimpers leaving your lips as they parted, but you couldn’t work out the words for a moment. 

“I will not..” He started to lead you, your trembling thighs begging for more attention.

“..disobey the rules.” You mustered up, eyes fluttering open to meet him. 

This may seem like torture to anyone who didn’t know the full context, but Joel was quick to console you into bliss after each denial. 

“So good for me baby girl, come here.” He mumbled quietly as he cupped your cheek and turned you to look up at him,  stars in your eyes as he kissed your forehead, nose, and pouted lips. 

You hummed happily, your lazy hand slinking up to hold his hand that was on your cheek. 

“I learned my lesson.” You whispered, throat swollen from crying and begging all night. 

“Yeah, did you?” He asked almost mockingly. 

You nodded tiredly against the pillows, thighs still twitching at the thought of cumming. 

“You wanna cum tonight, baby? Think you deserve it after acting like a brat all night?” Joel muttered, his hands gently throwing his dark green flannel over your top half to keep you safe from the cold. 

You nodded eagerly and took the peace offering, snuggling his warm flannel around your body. It smelled like him and a little like the rain outside. 

Your eyes glanced at the comforter across the room. Better not to ask. 

“How do you wanna come tonight, darlin’?” Joel muttered, his warm hand cupping your outer thigh and gently shaking it to watch your ass jiggle. It made you feel your warm, sticky arousal still soaking your pussy. 

“Mm, want your warm tongue, Joel. Keep me warm.” You moaned softly, turning your head to see a slight smirk gracing his lips. 

“Alright angel, perk up now.” Joel directed as you moved onto your knees and bent over in front of him, your head laying to the side as your ass was up and spread for him. 

The cool air breezed over your panties, biting down on your lip as you felt him pull the material down and stretch around your thighs. His greedy hands gripped your ass, your cheeks flushing as he admired you from behind. 

“Like what ya see, old man?” You hummed teasingly, rutting your hips back until his firm hands stopped you in place. 

“Watch it.” His tone was warning you, squeezing at the flesh. 

You eagerly waited, your jaw dropping as you felt his warm lips kiss down your wet slick. 

“Oh-, Oh, Joel..” You moaned quietly, your hands at either side of your head gently gripping the sheets. 

His mustache and trimmed beard hairs tickled your upper thighs, your eyes fluttering closed as his warm tongue flattened against your core. 

Such a greedy fucking man, licking up all the slick he caused since he came home. You were just a feast for him now, getting all your juices worked up and on display for him. The thought made your stomach churn. You were already so close to coming, he didn’t even plunge a finger into you yet. 

It’s alright, you thought, because as long as he kept giving your clit attention and you could cum, it was a win in your book. 

A shaky whimper spilled into his bed sheets as his fingers gripped more into your juicy ass, spreading you open as he worked slow figure-eights around your clit. It was like a gentle massage to your throbbing core. He was practically milking you. 

What made you even wetter was hearing him moan against your pussy, the vibrations throwing your body forward. You would have fallen away from him if his hands weren’t gripping your hips so tight. 

Oh god, it was a lot now. You were so tender, so aching, now he was showering you with affection and it was too much. 

“I- Woah, Joel, wait-” You gasped as your back arched, and you threw your head back, hair going everywhere as Joel began to feast your orgasm from you. 

His tongue didn’t stop, lapping and licking with generous speed. 

“Too-too much, I- fuckkk,” you whined as you began to pant, eyes widening as you felt his mouth pull off you.

“You said I could cum.” You breathily pointed out at his absence, about to turn your head around and complain until you felt two of his meaty fingers slowly push into your fluttering pink walls. 

“Love watching your cunt get filled up, baby.” His words were purring, rolling off his sick tongue and pooling right into the base of your stomach. It left you whimpering. 

You could feel him fill you up to his knuckles, your eyes reeling back into your head as your head laid defeatedly in his mattress. 

His lips resumed their place around your clit, suckling just enough that you could feel his teeth grazing your sensitive nub. 

It was so much, too much, sooo good. 

Your breathing grew labored, your stomach clenching every time his tongue massaged your pussy in just the right way. He had you right where he wanted you. You were worried he would stop again, just like he did the time before, and the time before that, and the time before that. 

“Please-” You whimpered tiredly into the sheets, mumbling into the material.  “Please don’t leave me.” 

You could feel his cheeks quirk up in a smile on your skin. “Not goin’ anywhere kitten, you know I love how you taste.” His words made you gasp, grinding your hips back into his face. Joel was going to let you cum. 

The squelching noises of your pussy being fucked by his fingers filled the room, his tongue relentless on you now. You were a whimpering, moaning mess. You could feel your slick trickling down your thigh, a loud moan bellowing out of you as you felt Joel lick up the trail before returning to your cunt. 

Finally, you were giving way. Your hips were shaking in his hold, his name coming out in pants as his facial hair tickled you into an unexpected orgasm. You were surprised he finally let you cum even though he had promised you would, your body grilling into the mattress at the pressure points of your body. 

“Yes- yesyesyes- Oh! Fuck-” You breathed out, your face crinkling as your long-awaited orgasm thrilled your body. At last, you came. You felt like you could breathe again, think again. Why wasn’t he-

Your tired head looked back at him, watching as he didn’t back off long after your orgasm had come and gone.

“Joel- Joelll-” Your voice went out in half-ass warning since it was a moan. He wasn’t letting up. 

“No- Fuck Joel, no, please, I can’t!” Your voice was high-pitched and raw, letting out a long, drawn-out cry of his name as he overstimulated your throbbing clit. 

“Yes you can, baby, know you can.” His voice was drenched in sex, dirty old fuck. 

You heard a tear, one of your hands having ripped the sheets and making them shred in your hand. You didn’t care, neither did Joel. 

His fingers massaged at your walls, curling and searching for that spot that was just right. But you didn’t need it anymore, you could have been done. But Joel never did anything you expected. 

The noises of your wet cunt filled the room, along with moans of your name from Joel. He finger fucked you so good you thought you might squirt on his tongue. You were restless, your body moving all around as much as he would allow as you tried to find comfort. It was pointless. 

His tongue continued to lap and lick at your swollen clit, feeling it desperately tingle from all the attention. You craved Joel’s touch for over a week, but it was suddenly too much once you finally had it. 

Your body was hot despite the cold he conspired against you, your shaky hand reaching back, clutching the hair at the top of his head and fisting it as you kept him against your core. It was so good it hurt, it hurt so much it was good. And since he was already back there, he might as well make you cum again. 

The tension was unbearable,  your clit begging for a break. But Joel just kept going and going, and suddenly, you were cumming again. Your brain went blank, the orgasm making you numb as you slumped in his hold. It was sweet, overwhelming, but still sweet. He always made you feel good like this, heavenly. Like you were the only woman on Earth he ever spoiled like this. 

He cleaned you good, even teasing your clit with random licks that made your body jolt. 

You panted tiredly, sweat in every crevice of your body. Your tired eyes only focused on the sheets you shredded, twirling the piece around your finger. 

“Joel..” You whispered breathily, your soft eyes looking slowly back at him. Your walls were still fluttering around the intrusion of his fingers, watching as he slowly reeled them back. Now you felt empty. He spread the two digits apart, watching in a sweet fascination the way your slick clung to his fingers. He was sick in the head the way he put them in his mouth and licked them clean. 

He looked effortless as he laid down beside you, pulling two whole orgasms and three almost orgasms from you.

“I hate you.” You murmured as your head nuzzled against his shoulder, feeling his arm swing up to let you into his side as his strong arms reeled your limp body into his. 

“Y’owe me a new pair of sheets.” His voice also sounded tired, but it was laced with teasing. He reached behind you for his flannel and threw it over your upper half again, a comfort after the storm. 

“Needed new sheets anyway. I’ll help you find a better set tomorrow.” You hummed as your tired arm came up to lay on his chest, drawing shapes over his shirt as his hand gently stroked the hair away from your sweaty forehead. 

“Let’s see how well you can walk tomorrow. Then we’ll talk.” He sneered, a shy grin on your lips.

“Deal.” —————- Taglist: @jrrmint @gracieispunk @macfrog @strang3lov3 @notjustjavierpena @bastardmandennis @joelslegalwhre If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please reply on this post.

[two-white-butterflies]

monopoly go | mv33 | part two

Description: A stranger keeps striking your monopoly go base. You search him on Facebook and decide to settle your losses.

part one |

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yourname_awesome: might need myself a london boy 🇬🇧

liked by 23,283 others

>comments

maxverstappen1: pretty

maxverstappen1: the background is so pretty - yourname_awesome: list of all the poeple that asked. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. - - maxverstappen1: talk to me when you can spell people properly - - - yourname_awesome: talk to me when you can spell noodle properly 🥱

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EMILLIAN ATTACKED YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN STOLE 20M IN A MEGAHEIST.

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yourname_awesome: decided to square up with this 🤬 after he attacked my landmark. what's thatp icture? oh, that's meant for lewis hamilton...he just wrote his name on the top.

liked by danielricciardo and 67,392 others

>comments

maxverstappen1: ??? Post my pics when you can spell properly - yourname_awesome: comment on my posts when u aren't stealing from my base anymore - - maxverstappen1: Won't be commenting for the foreseeable future - - - yourname_awesome: Simply Lovely!

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humpyfumpy: SOMETHING IS SUSPICIOUS BETWEEN MAX AND THE GIRL HE'S BEEFING WITH....I CAN FEEL SOMETHING BREWING

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Y/N ATTACKED YOUR LANDMARK.

Y/N STOLE 5M IN A HEIST.

Y/N STOLE 72M IN A HEIST.

YOU PAID Y/N RENT.

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INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1 STOP

yourname_awesome my reaction

maxverstappen1 reacted to this message. (❤️)

yourname_awesome ???? THAT'S SUSPICIOUS

maxverstappen1 MY reaction

yourname_awesome who is that girl ur with?

maxverstappen1 Idk i found this picture in the internet

yourname_awesome nah bro go back to ur other hoes

maxverstappen1 No

yourname_awesome 🤣

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Stolen glances from crowded rooms - that's all you were. You couldn't understand your dynamic with him, in texts the chemistry was there but in real life? He's awkward, rarely even speaks to you. "Do you think that he's a little tongue tied?" your best friend asked and you tilted your head sideways.

"What?" you inquired and she shrugs. "Men are shy when it comes to girls that they like." "Are you suggesting that he has a crush on me?" you furrowed your eyebrows and she nods. You scoff, "He's not a teenager," you chuckled.

She rolls her eyes.

"It's just a suggestion," she antagonized.

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"I've never seen a picture of you two together," Daniel takes a sip of his beer. Max glances at you again - eyes filled with adoration but no words exit his mouth. "Don't expose him, Daniel." Lando winks - Max freezes and they all exchange a knowing glance.

You lean back on the chair.

"Why would we need a picture together?" you giggled, placing a piece of apricot on your tongue. "Because you're friends," Lando saved his friend. Max was shitting bricks at this point. "Acquaintances, we've only known each other for a week." Max managed to let out.

You raised an eyebrow.

"You're hurting me with your words," you joked and he replies with a smile. "My bad," he breathed and his friends push him off the chair. "You can make it up to me by letting the boys take a picture of us," you smiled - seriously into him.

Not just because he was a Formula One Driver (it was a factor) but also because of his humor. He was hilarious... and handsome. "Cheese Maxie," Daniel says while pulling out his mobile phone.

The hug was basically second-nature.

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danielricciardo: Too cute not to post? @maxverstappen1 @yourname_awesome

liked by 1,283,219 others

>comments

standingina1950sgym: THE HARDEST HARD LAUNCH OF ALL

yourname_awesome: NAWW NOT YOU EXPOSING MY TATTOO

maxxieeelover: The matching shirts?? - yourname_awesome: pure coincidence huhu 😭

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@sugarhightano @lovelylunas-world @ironmaiden1313 @duck-duck-goose-18 @itsjustkhaos @daniellarogers @darleneslane @lilbeyotch1d

[featherquillpen]

Gained in Translation

I speak four languages (at varying degrees of fluency) and do translation both for smooth and peaceable family reunions and for fun, with works of literature I enjoy. It's practically a truism at this point that meaning gets lost in translation; in fact, I'm currently reading an excellent book, Babel by R.F. Kuang, in which there is magic powered by the meaning lost in translation. But a topic I hardly ever hear anyone discuss is how meaning can be gained in translation.

Example 1: References

A type of meaning that can be gained in translation is that when you translate from language A to B, you can make references to other texts in language B that the person who wrote the original in language A wouldn't have been aware of. Here is an example from a translation I did of a Pablo Neruda poem:

Yo te recordaba con el alma apretada

de esa tristeza que tú me conoces.

I remembered you with my soul gripped

by the tragic ordeal of being known by you.

These lines in Spanish reminded me a lot of the meme based on the viral New York Times article about how you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known in order to reap the rewards of being loved. So I decided to make a subtle reference to that quote in the way I phrased the English translation. This meaning, of course, doesn't exist in the original Spanish; I added it in.

Example 2: Meaningful Distinctions

Meaning is often gained in translation because the target language makes a distinction that the source language does not. The translator has to choose one side of that distinction, and so meaning is gained.

Here is an example from the Spanish localization of the Japanese RPG Fire Emblem: Three Houses. There are two unlockable scenes in which the character Hubert is given a gift as a romantic gesture. Now, I don't speak Japanese, but through reading the analyses and translations done by Japanese speakers, and by checking for consistency in the kanji, I can see that the same word for "gift" seems to be used throughout these scenes. However, in Spanish, there are multiple words for "gift" with rather different connotations, which becomes relevant in the localization.

In Spanish, there is no generic word for "gift" that applies in every situation. There is a distinction made between gifts that are personal, between people who care about each other, and gifts between people who are not close, such as charitable gifts and formal gifts given to a diplomat. The translators of the game had to choose which of these words to use in the Spanish, and they used the distinction to add some very interesting meaning to these romantic scenes.

In each scene, what happens is that Hubert notices the person has a gift and comments on it, thinking it's for somebody else. In these lines, in Spanish, Hubert uses the personal intimate word for gift. Then, when he finds out the gift is for him, and reacts very awkwardly, he switches to a formal word for gift, creating an emotional distance between himself and the romantic token. This is excellent characterization and adds a layer of meaning in translation.

Example 3: Meaningful Ambiguity

Sometimes, the opposite phenomenon occurs, where the target language does not make a distinction that the source language does, and that ambiguity or vagueness adds something to the translation.

I have a Finnish friend who has told me that fiction that plays with gender is often more meaningful for him in Finnish translation than in the source language, because Finnish does not have gendered third person pronouns. Where books like The Left Hand of Darkness or Ancillary Justice have to make a conscious decision about which gendered pronoun to use for characters that fall outside the Western gender binary (The Left Hand of Darkness uses "he" and Ancillary Justice uses "she"), the Finnish translations can just use the default neutral pronoun they use for everyone, and never have to resolve that ambiguity in any direction. My friend has told me that there are some books about non-gender-normative characters that he wishes he'd read in Finnish instead of English because the experience would have felt more authentic in some ways.

What It Means

The reason why I bring all of this up is that the concept of meaning lost in translation is tied to the idea of translation as an act of violence. Indeed, there is a saying in Italian, "Traduttore, traditore," which means "Translator, traitor." I agree that translation can definitely be an act of violence that destroys the intended meaning of a text and warps it to suit the needs of the speakers of the target language. But when we focus only on what is lost in translation, at the expense of what is gained in translation, then we deny that translation can be an act of liberation and power.

I was raised in a bicultural household speaking both English and Spanish, and when I translate between these languages, it makes me feel empowered and proud of my heritage. It feels insulting to me to claim that when I translate, I can only ever deplete the meaning. That is not true. Every translation requires a translator, and we are more than thieves and traitors. We are more, even, than archivists, trying to minimize loss and decay as much as possible. We are creatives and inventors who can add something beautiful and meaningful to the text via our translations.

[eufezco]

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

bucky!winter soldier x fem!reader (kinda angst ig?) no use of y/n

based on the captain america: the winter soldier post credits scene because i loooooove it

omg this is my first time writing for something marvel related i hope you enjoy it, it's been so long since the last time i wrote anything so i'm sorry if it's kinda shitty 😭

He was looking at you and you were looking back at him.

Steve had refused to fight against him. He had dropped his shield from the ship and had surrendered to his old friend. You wished you could have done that so you would never have felt Bucky's hands around your throat trying to choke you to death nor his body over yours as his fists connected with your face once again.

But one of you had to fight him so that you two could get out of it alive, and if Steve didn't, you would.

Bucky's punches to Steve's face made you squirm in place as you tried to escape the beam that had fallen on you. If you didn't get out you feared that the beam would crush you or even worse, that Bucky would kill him. Steve was his mission after all and he was programmed to finish it.

You jumped on him when you managed to escape and freed Steve from the blows of his metal arm. Stay alive please you mumbled to your friend as he lay badly wounded, with one eye swollen shut and blood coming out of his nose. The last time you had seen him like that he was a small blond boy who had gotten into trouble in an alley with someone twice his size and you and Bucky had to come to his rescue. Now the trouble you had to save him from was Bucky himself and you were on your own.

Your whole body ached from fighting him and since beating him didn't work, you decided to try to make him see reason in another way. You called his name while you were trying to catch your breath, still with the sensation of his fingers closing around your throat. He looked at you full of rage while he tried to recompose from the hit that he had received from you. The name Bucky echoed in his head every time you repeated it, hurt him more than any kick or punch you gave him. The familiarity with that word made him feel sick in his stomach and more eager to fight you for making him feel that way.

You know me.

No, I don't!

Bucky, you've known me your whole life.

Shut up!

Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. We were friends.

He held a defensive pose while his eyes glanced nervously all over the place and his chest rose and fell slowly as he tried to catch his breath. It was so familiar. Not only the name you kept repeating but also the way it sounded when you said it.

He was looking at you and you were looking back at him.

There was enough distance between the two of you so that you did not feel threatened by each other's presence. The Captain America Exhibit in Washington also had enough civilians to start another fight like the one on the ship.

He broke eye contact with you to look at the screen. He had seen your face somewhere on that big panel dedicated to who he was once. And there you were. When the text ended there was a sequence of pictures. He did not know who those men in the pictures were but he could see himself smiling with them.

But there you were. In the middle picture.

He was wearing his sergeant's uniform and you were wearing a dress. You could still remember his reaction when he saw you in that dress, how his eyes sparkled looking at you, how his lips curved into a smile every time you grabbed his hand and dragged him around the Stark Expo. Steve with his new camera captured the perfect moment. Bucky held you around the waist. Bucky was slightly leaning over you. Your faces were just inches apart but in the picture you both were laughing, you still heard the sound of his laughter every time you looked at the picture, as if it had not been almost seventy years since you last saw him. Your faces were just inches apart but there was no kiss.

And now there would never be a kiss.

How innocent you both looked in that picture. Neither of you knew how all your plans were going to be twisted, how only one of you two would be the one to remember that night. If someone had told you that night that Bucky was going to disappear from your life, you would have laughed in their face. If you had known you would have kissed him. You would have kissed Bucky until you were breathless, until you were tired of kissing each other if that was possible. But now you would never know because you both insisted on remaining friends until the end of the war not knowing that out of that war would come a much worse one.

The very hands you had trusted to hold you had tried to choke you to death. The same eyes that had gazed at you with such devotion had looked at you loaded with the strongest wrath in the world. The man you had loved the most did not recognize you and by the way he was looking at that panel with all his memories, he did not recognize himself either.

Bucky stared at the picture for a few seconds and then looked back at you. You were the same girl, only now with some bruises on your face, the marks of his fingers on your neck, and definitely not with the same smile as the girl in the picture. What had he done to you? What would the boy in that photo think about the person he had become?

You stood in place far from him. Since you had seen him you had not taken a single step forward. Neither the cap nor the long hair nor the jacket covering his metal arm could hide him from you. Not anymore. You went to the Captain America memorial looking for the comfort that the panel dedicated to Bucky brought you, he went there looking for answers. And you found each other.

Your Bucky and you his answers.

[beomgyucoded]

Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, teeny bit of angst

Word Count: 19.8 k

Summary: a collection of diary entries turned love letters that tell the story of how you fell in love with Choi Beomgyu

*previously released as a series

*regular text is present day

*bold text are the diary entries/letters

*italic text are flashbacks

Note: I live in the U.S. so I based the school years on how mine went. Parts are going to vary in length, some will be super short and others will be long with multiple diary entries. They become more complex as the reader gets older. Also, all the members are the same age in this story!

Right now, a smile tugged at the corner of his rosy lips, and his eyes turned to look down at the ground. His fingers twitched as he twirled the wispy ends of his shoulder-length hair and pulled them through his fingers like he was soothing himself. The shy, sweet smile on his face brought one to yours. He was so beautiful, and you know you weren’t the only one to think so. You were positive everyone either wanted him in any way they could have him or wanted to be him. It was a bet you could easily win, because for as long as you could remember, people would come up to you and ask if you knew the pretty boy with the shy smile.

To this, you always answered, “I do, but not well.”

Which was mostly true. You’ve been acquainted with the boy since you were six years old, and started elementary school. You could never forget the day you met and he gave you a small wave, his face mostly hidden because he was hiding behind his parents. That was the day you started to adore him. Being a simple minded six year old, when you went home that day, you wrote in your little notebook about him. 

Years have gone by since then, and you're now in your late teens. You've watched him grow into an even more beautiful person, his features sharper and more defined, his hair still just as long and wispy as it was when he was a child. It seemed like everyone in your small town knew him, but he remained just as shy as ever, preferring to keep to himself or stick close to his group of friends.

You've continued writing since that first meeting, mentioning him in your notebook more times than you can count. All of it was words of admiration at first, before you became friends. The only interaction between the two of you was polite and brief. You were even shyer than him, so you stuck to just admiring him from afar, a simple smile or gesture of acknowledgement from him enough to make you blush a warm pink. As you got older, your friendship began to bud and now in high school, you were part of the same circle of friends.

You continued to watch him twirl his hair between his fingers, and you couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have those soft locks teasing your own fingertips. But you quickly brushed the thought aside, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. You couldn't believe you even thought of doing something like that, let alone actually being able to do it. You looked away, casting your eyes downwards towards the open notebook in front of you on the lunch table.

Glancing back up at him from under your lashes, you saw that he was still lost in his own thoughts, his smile fading away slowly as he continued to twirl his hair absentmindedly. You wondered what he was thinking about. Perhaps he was contemplating something important, or maybe he was just lost in his own world as usual. Another thing, he was always writing. You often found him deep in thought and writing in a little black notebook. One that matched yours, except yours was filled with pretty words and poems and love letters you won't send.

September 4th, 2007 

Today was my first day of school. I made a new friend that’s a boy. He was shy just like me. He hid behind his mommy and daddy but he waved at me. He looked kind of like a circle. 

It was your first day of school and you were beyond excited. You woke up bright and early that morning, putting on the outfit you picked out the night before just for the first day.

Your parents dropped you off and you walked into class with a smile on your face, feeling nervous and shy but ready to start going to school. As you settled into your seat, you looked around the room and saw the other kids with their parents, either crying or holding onto them for dear life, not wanting to be left alone in a new environment without them.

But then you saw him.

He was standing behind his parents, hiding behind them. You tried to catch his eye and give him a friendly smile, hoping to make him feel welcome, despite feeling just as shy as him. Eventually, he saw you and waved back with a small smile. You felt happy that you had made a new friend and curious about him at the same time. The boy and you sat side by side during the morning assembly. Even though you were too shy to make conversation, just sitting next to each other felt comforting. You made slight attempts at communication. Glancing furtively at each other whenever your teacher wasn’t watching, and smiled ever so slightly when your eyes met for a brief moment before looking away again with blushing cheeks.

You learned his name was Beomgyu.

September 5th, 2007

I thought Beomgyu was my friend. When I got to school today, all the boys stayed with each other and all the girls stayed with each other while we were on the playground. He said the other boys said he couldn’t have friends that were girls because girls were icky. That hurt my feelings, if I’m icky, then he’s icky. 

Beomgyu's interaction with the rest of his peers on that day started off well enough. He talked more today and tried to joke around with the other boys, trying to get over his shyness. But when the boys started grouping up together in one spot while the girls stayed by themselves in another, he suddenly stopped talking to you entirely and acted like you weren't friends at all anymore.

No matter how hard you tried to approach him or get his attention again he clearly sent out a message that felt like "you're not one of us" so it got harder for you to try again - especially after hearing those distressing words about how icky girls were. That was the last time you were talking to him, you decided. 

As the school day went on, and being the pouty six year old you were, you found yourself avoiding Beomgyu at all costs. You didn't want to be associated with someone who would abandon their friend so easily. When school was over that day and you were waiting for your mom to pick you up, you felt a small tap on your shoulder. It was Beomgyu.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into your ear as he held onto your hand tightly. 

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. You're not icky."

You looked up at him, a frown on your face.

"Why did you say that then?"

"I was just trying to be friends with the other boys," he admitted. 

"it's okay," you forgave him easily. 

He smiled. 

"Can we still be friends?" he asked sheepishly, extending his pinkie towards you.

It was then that some of the other boys in your class saw the two of you and started teasing, calling Beomgyu a sissy for being so close to a girl or mocking him for even attempting to make up with you after what had transpired earlier today. He lowered both his head and his pinkie, feeling hurt by their comments. You wanted to do something, but you knew if you said anything that they would just tease him more. So, you walked off, deciding to leave him alone and wait for your mom somewhere else. That was the last time the two of you spoke.

You didn’t try to be his friend after that. 

May 28th, 2011

I went to my first boy/girl party today. It started so late too. I showed up at 6 pm but the invitation said 5. My friends said it's better to be “fashionably late”, whatever that means. Beomgyu was there too, he smiled at me and I smiled back. My friends saw when this happened and they started squealing and making “ooh” sounds. That was annoying. Beomgyu and I aren’t even friends. The rest of the party was spent with everyone practically checking each other out, girls on one side of the room and boys on the other. We’re all ten now, I guess double digits means girls aren’t icky to boys anymore and the other way around. After all the craziness that happened at this first party, I've decided that I don't like parties. Even if boys will be there. (Even if Beomgyu will be there). Oh, and I had my first kiss tonight. (Almost had my second one too).

Today was an exciting day. A classmate was celebrating his tenth birthday and everyone was invited to the party. He promised it would be just like the ones we saw in movies. His parents would stay in their room, leaving us to have fun and play games until it was time to cut the cake. There would be pizza, video games, and lots of sweets for us to enjoy. He made sure to invite both boys and girls, and there were even rumors about kissing at the party. When you and your friends received your invitations, they suggested that you all go shopping together at the mall to find new outfits for the occasion.

After your dad picked you up from school that Friday, he dropped you off at the mall. A few of your friend's moms would be chaperoning your group as you all went shopping together. You spent most of the day wandering around the mall, trying on different clothes and listening to your friends giggle about boys. You didn't really care too much about boys or kissing, so you just listened to them, softly giggling and sometimes blushing at their words. 

On the day of the party, you put on your new dress and met up with your friends in front of the birthday boy's house. As soon as you walked in, the sound of laughter and music filled your ears. The boys were playing video games on one side of the room while the girls huddled together in the opposite corner. You spotted Beomgyu across the room and he looked different somehow.

He wasn't wearing his usual clothes, and his hair was parted showing his forehead. You didn't know that boys could do that too. He was wearing a blue shirt with black jeans, and his hair was styled neatly to the side. You felt a strange stirring in your chest as your eyes met his, and you quickly looked away. When you met his gaze again, you greeted him with a smile, and he smiled back warmly. Your friends were quick to start making teasing comments, but you ignored them. 

The two of you smiling at each other wasn't anything new. It was always a smile and wave when you two would see each other in school, as a form of acknowledgment. You always wondered if the two of you would be best friends if you decided to just ignore the stupid comments from your classmates when you were younger. There was no animosity between you, but it's not like the two of you talked aside from a simple hi or "you dropped this".

At some point during the night, a game of Truth or Dare began, and you found yourself sitting next to Beomgyu. The other players were daring each other to do ridiculous things like climb trees and sing at the top of their lungs. 

"Beomgyu, truth or dare?" one of the boys asked, snapping you out of your thoughts and looking at him. 

"Truth," he responded with a smile.

"Do you like anyone?"

All eyes turned to Beomgyu as he blushed and looked away.

"Maybe," he said shyly.

You felt your heart skip a beat as the other kids started teasing him. You didn't know why you were feeling like this, maybe it was because you were sitting so close to him and he looked so cute. The game quickly ended after that, and people started to break off into groups around the room, groups of boys and girls this time. You stayed with your friends and a few other boys, but your eyes kept wandering. You noticed how Beomgyu stood close to a girl and she would giggle and smile up at him. When this happened, the others standing with them started making “ooh” sounds and it made you feel uneasy in your stomach. 

The cake was cut eventually, and the birthday boy decided he wanted to play another game. Everyone huddled around the middle of the room for a game of spin-the-bottle. You took your place in the circle awkwardly, not really wanting to participate but feeling like you had no choice at this point. The bottle spun around and landed on a girl who giggled loudly as she leaned in to kiss one of the boys in the circle. You watched as everyone took their turns, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second. When it was Beomgyu's turn, he spun the bottle nervously, and it landed on you. You felt your heart race as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours softly before pulling away. It was a quick peck, but it was enough to make your head spin.

After the game ended, you sat down on the couch, feeling flushed. Beomgyu sat down next to you, looking at you with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

You nodded slowly, trying to process what just happened.

"I don't like parties," you blurted out suddenly.

Beomgyu looked at you quizzically. "Why not?"

"I don't know," you said honestly. "It's just...there's so much pressure to be someone else. To fit in or do things I'm not comfortable with."

You felt oddly comfortable with him right now though. 

Beomgyu nodded slowly, fidgeting with the ends of his shirt.

"I feel the same way sometimes," he admitted.

You looked at him in surprise, wondering why he would feel that way when he seemed so popular.

"Why?" you questioned quietly.

"Because sometimes it feels like I have to be someone I'm not for them to like me," he said carefully. 

"Sometimes I just want to be real and not care what anyone else thinks."

"And who is that?" you asked him, turning to fully face him now.

He looked at you confused and you just laughed.

“Who’s the real Beomgyu then?” you clarified. 

Beomgyu just smiled at you, his eyes sparkling just like they always did. 

“He’s someone a lot quieter and to himself. I’m not sure anyone would like the real Beomgyu,” he said softly and dropped his head. 

“I would.”

The words slipped out of your mouth before you even realized what you were saying. Beomgyu looked up at you, surprise etched on his face. For a moment, neither of you spoke, just looking at each other in silence.

"Really?" Beomgyu finally asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, feeling your heart race with adrenaline. 

"Really," you repeated, a little more confident this time.

A small smile spread across Beomgyu's face, and before you knew it, he was leaning in to kiss you again. However, before your lips could touch, one of his friends called out for him. He gave you an apologetic look and you gave him a small smile in return, telling him to go. You were still flustered over the first kiss and there was about to be a second one. 

September 6th, 2012

Today was the first day of middle school. I wasn’t nervous for the first day, even though it was a new school with new people. A lot of my friends from elementary school applied to the same school as me, so I knew some people. I was surprised to see Beomgyu and some of his friends though. I didn’t know he applied here too. I only found out because his locker is right next to mine and will be for the next three years. He was still a little shy and it was still cute. I met a lot of new people today and my friends said the boys in middle school were much cuter. They talked about who would look good with who in our little group and even I got curious. I heard things about eighth graders dating, but did sixth graders do that too? I won’t tell my friends, but Taehyun in my math class is cute, and really smart too. I saw Beomgyu with a girl today, they looked like they were flirting and I felt weird. Middle school is like a whole new world. 

Today was the first day of middle school, your friends and you were now in the 6th grade and things were changing. You weren’t one to be nervous for the first day of school ever, but your friends were. You spent last night on a video call with them trying to help them decide on what to wear today. You didn’t understand why it mattered so much and they would reply with, “it's middle school (y/n).” 

As you walked into school, you could hear the chatter of students and the sound of lockers slamming. But something caught your eye, someone you didn't expect to see here, Beomgyu. Your heart raced as you realized you would be seeing him every day for the next three years and at the fact that your locker was right next to his. Beomgyu caught your gaze and gave you that same small smile, the one he always did. 

Returning his smile, you gave a small wave and pretended to fiddle with your locker, unsure of how to act in this situation.

"Hey, (y/n), do you remember me?" Beomgyu asked shyly. 

"Of course I do Beomgyu, I didn't know you applied to this school," you replied softly, finding it adorable that he thought you’d forget about him so easily. 

“It’s a good school and was the closest to home,” Beomgyu said, as he started to open his locker and put his books in. 

You couldn’t help but steal glances at him, noticing how he changed since the last time you saw him at graduation. His hair was a little longer and he got taller. He was still pretty scrawny though. The bell rang shortly after and you both walked to your first class. Seeing that you two were walking in the same direction, Beomgyu started softly talking about his summer vacation and how he spent most of it playing video games. You nodded along, but your mind was elsewhere. He was still shy, you mentally noted, and it was even more endearing to you now. He waved to you when he got to his class and you smiled, not really sure of how else to respond, and kept walking. 

When you finally arrived at your first class, you were relieved to see that some of your other friends from elementary school were in the same class as you. You greeted them with hugs and excitement, trying to push the awkwardness with Beomgyu aside. Throughout the day, you kept encountering him in the hallways and found out that you shared a few classes. Every time you'd see each other, you'd smile and wave, like the routine you developed in elementary school. It was familiar, in a comforting way, and the awkwardness you were feeling towards him started to dissipate as the day continued. 

At lunch you saw him sitting with two new boys that didn't go to elementary school with you guys. You recognized them, since they were in a few of your classes too. Their names were Kang Taehyun and Huening Kai. Taehyun sat next to you in math, he had big, round, pretty eyes. Kai sat at your table in social studies and he was really friendly. His laugh was really loud but it made you want to laugh with him. Kai was animatedly talking about something with Taehyun, and Beomgyu had a hand resting on his cheek, a pen in the other hand writing something in a little book. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he was writing. When he noticed you, he gave you a small wave and went back to whatever he was writing, the small encounter causing you to blush for some reason. You shook your head slightly and looked around the cafeteria trying to spot any of your friends, going over to their table when you did. You pulled out your own little book and started to doodle, while listening to your friends gossip and talk about boys they thought were cute.  

The rest of your day went by in a blur, nothing exciting happening since all your teachers basically did the same thing today. You walked to your locker when the last bell rang, stopping in your tracks when you saw Beomgyu at his. He wasn’t alone though, there was a girl next to him and she was leaning against your locker, twirling her hair a little too forcefully as they talked to each other. You recognized her, she went to elementary school with you and was fairly popular. You remembered all the boys in your class having a crush on her. You felt strange as you watched Beomgyu laugh with the girl, his hand resting on her arm. You decided to gather your things and just go home, not wanting to see whatever was happening between them. 

“Excuse me,” you muttered softly, and she looked at you annoyed. 

You pointed to your locker and she moved, quickly going back to giggling at Beomgyu, which caused you to roll your eyes. Beomgyu looked at you when he heard your voice and gave you a small smile, like he usually did, but it felt different this time. You managed to give him a tight smile before walking away and going home.

November 2nd, 2012

Today was my first school dance, it was a halloween dance. Halloween was on a wednesday this year, but they didn't think it was convenient to have the dance on a wednesday, so it was pushed to today. It was weird to dress up in a costume in November, but I suppose costume parties aren’t just for halloween. I dressed up as an angel. My friends seem to make a big deal about a lot of our first experiences, like today, they decided we should all get ready together and then show up to the dance together. When they first heard about the dance, they immediately thought we should try to get dates. Sometimes I wonder why I’m friends with them because our interests and the things we prioritize are so different. They kept their word and managed to get dates, I didn’t, because I didn’t even want to go in the first place. Even though I didn’t have a date to my first dance, someone did ask me to dance and their costume paired well with mine.  It was sweet of them to ask. Beomgyu was there and he had a date. It was the same girl I saw him with that one day by our lockers, and almost everyday since then. Are they dating now? If they are, good for them. I don't care…

Today felt like it was dragging along. You felt like it was always like that on Friday’s, but today was especially slow and not just to you, but to everyone. Tonight was the Halloween Dance, and everyone’s anticipation and constant staring at the clock only seemed to make time move slower.

 As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, your classroom erupted with a chorus of relieved voices. Students rushed to their lockers, grabbing their bags and shoving any and all books into them with eager anticipation of the evening ahead. But as you made your way through the crowded hallway, a sinking feeling settled in your stomach. The excitement buzzing around you only served as a stark reminder of your own lack of enthusiasm for the dance. Parties and gatherings were not your thing, anyone that knew you, knew this. Yet, for some reason you had a costume picked out and waiting for you at home. Your friends made plans to meet up after school to get ready together, however you were left out of these plans and weren’t told until today. Your friends knew you had to tell your parents at least a day ahead before asking to go out. It felt like they didn’t want you to join them. After saying bye to your friends, you took the bus home. Your parents weren’t able to pick you up today, and luckily they taught you how to get home using public transportation in case this happened. 

You got home shortly after, trudging up the stairs to your room. Slipping into your angel costume, you couldn't help but feel a sense of detachment from the festivities. Glittering wings adorned your back, and a halo perched lightly on your head, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't recognize the person staring back at you. You felt like you were wearing a disguise, hiding behind the façade of an angel, when you felt anything but angelic. The heaviness in your chest and the weight of loneliness settled upon you, casting a deeper shadow over your already lack of excitement. You wondered if this was really worth it, the discomfort of pretending to enjoy a party you had no interest in attending. You were going because your friends were, and they said you had to be there. With a sigh, you decided to make the best of the situation. Maybe tonight would surprise you, and you'd find some hidden enjoyment somewhere in the midst of your stagnant melancholy.

The evening air was cool as you stepped out of your house and made your way towards the house your friends agreed to meet up at. The moon hung low in the sky, casting an eerie glow on the deserted streets. Halloween decorations still adorned houses, their flickering lights and grinning jack-o'-lanterns showing more of an expression than you were. It was a stark contrast to the emptiness of the night, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. 

You arrived at your friends' house, the designated meeting spot for the evening. As you walked up to the front door, you could hear the faint sound of laughter and music echoing through the walls. Taking a deep breath, you knocked once and pushed open the door. The living room was transformed into a makeshift dressing room, with clothes and makeup strewn about all over the room. Your friends were gathered around a full-length mirror, each one meticulously perfecting their costumes. They didn't seem to notice your arrival at first, too engrossed in their own reflections. You stood there awkwardly, feeling like an outsider in your own group. It was moments like these when you questioned your friendship with them. Their shared enthusiasm and excitement for the dance seemed foreign to you, and you couldn't help but wonder if it was your fault for not fully embracing their interests or if they were to blame for excluding you from their plans. None of them made the effort to acknowledge your presence. The realization hit you like a punch to the gut; they didn't really care if you were there or not. You were just an afterthought, someone they had to invite out of obligation. 

“(y/n)! You’re here! When did you come in?” One of them asked, still not looking directly at you, snapping you out of your thoughts and shooting them a forced smile. 

“I just got here,” you said quietly and looked down. 

That wasn't true, you had to have been standing there for at least five minutes. But you didn't want to make a big deal out of it. You didn't want to draw attention to your own insecurities and feelings of exclusion. So, you brushed it off and joined them in front of the mirror. As you joined your friends in front of the mirror, they finally turned their attention towards you, their eyes widening in surprise as they took in your angelic appearance. A mixture of awe and excitement filled their faces, momentarily putting your doubts at bay. They complimented your costume and eagerly asked how you managed to look so ethereal. It felt good to be noticed, even if it was just for your outfit. Part of you felt like they were only being half-hearted in their words, but a compliment was a compliment and it made you feel good nonetheless.

As the group finished getting ready, you all made your way to the school. You walked slightly behind the group and just listened to their chatter like you always did. They talked about how they couldn’t wait to slow dance with their dates and potentially kiss them. Your group arrived at the school after a short walk and the moment you stepped through the doors, the atmosphere consumed you. The gymnasium had been transformed into a haunted castle and it looked better than you thought it would. The dim lighting and haunting decorations created an eerie but magical ambiance. The chattering of students and the thumping bass of the music reverberated through the air. You scanned the crowd, searching for familiar faces amidst the sea of costumes.

Your friends quickly dispersed, finding their dates or joining other groups. Left standing alone, you hesitated, unsure of where to go or what to do. So you took a seat on the bleachers, just sitting and observing the scene in front of you. You sat there for a majority of the evening, only getting up occasionally to get something to drink or accompany one of your friends to the bathroom. Since it was a school dance, there were sixth, seventh and eighth graders there. It was easy to tell who was who. The eighth graders tried to carry an air of maturity and do things they thought would make them look cool in front of the underclassmen. The seventh graders mostly kept to themselves, trying not to be awkward, yet they still looked more comfortable than you did here. And then there were the sixth graders. They were all buzzing with excitement, making a dramatic spectacle of every song that played, every “couple” that came together. They were still divided, with girls in one corner and boys in another, despite most of them having dates. Right then, the melodic tunes of a slow romantic song washed over the gymnasium, beckoning couples to take each other's hands and attempt to sway in harmony. It was then that you noticed Beomgyu standing across the room, his eyes locked on his date. She was absolutely stunning in her costume, and you watched as he took her hands awkwardly and they started to slow dance. You felt a pang of envy wash over you, but you weren’t sure what you wanted. Did you want someone to dance with you like that? Did you wish you were as pretty as she was? Did you want to just go home? Did you want Beomgyu to- You tore your gaze away from them, a feeling of loneliness settled deep within you once more. But just as you were about to descend further into your isolation and self-doubt, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Surprised, you turned your head to find Taehyun, one of Beomgyu’s friends, and one of the cutest boys in the sixth grade, standing in front of you with a shy smile on his face.

"Hey," he said softly. "Would you like to dance?"

You looked up at him, and saw that he was wearing a pair of devil horns on his head, his big warm eyes looking at you with genuine kindness. 

“M-me?” You stammered, taken aback by his unexpected invitation. 

Taehyun nodded, his smile widening as he held out his hand for you to take. A mix of surprise and anticipation swelled within you, and you hesitated for a moment before placing your trembling hand in his.

"Yeah," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'd like to dance."

As Taehyun led you towards the dance floor, a rush of nervous excitement coursed through your veins. You could feel the eyes of the other students on you, curious and intrigued by the two of you together. One of your friends drew your attention and she shot you a “you go girl” look, which caused you to blush and turn your attention back to Taehyun. 

"I'm surprised you came here alone," Taehyun said and gently placed his hands at your waist.

He was a natural.

"What do you mean?" you asked shyly and put your hands on his shoulders, keeping your gaze glued to the floor. 

"Well, I've been watching you sit here all night, and it just didn't seem right for someone as pretty as you to be alone," he replied confidently and started to sway the two of you to the music. 

His words caught you off guard and you blushed at the compliment. His words were simple, but they seemed to hold a sincerity that made you feel seen and appreciated. 

“Did you come here alone?” you asked him, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

“I did,” he said and laughed, his hands were holding you as gently as he could. 

You were visibly surprised at his response, Taehyun was popular, smart and extremely cute. You thought he’d get asked a number of times, or at least ask someone, who would no doubt say yes. 

You heard him laugh again, “Is that really that surprising?” 

You nodded. 

“I should've asked you.” 

“Well if you did, I would have said yes.” 

“Our costumes even go together, it was meant to be,” he jokes and you giggled as he attempted to twirl you. 

The song came to an end and you thanked him for the dance, quickly being pulled away by your friends for the first time that evening. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Taehyun retreat back to his friends and one of them kept their eyes on you.

Beomgyu.

January 3rd, 2015

You were late today. I heard Kai and Taehyun talking about whether or not you’d show up. I kept looking at your locker, as if you’d just magically appear. This was a small thing that I looked forward to each day. Our little interactions at our lockers. It’s usually a small smile or a soft “good morning” but I really looked forward to it. It hasn’t really been happening since you’ve been hanging out with her more though. 

January 3rd, 2015

I heard them. They were talking about you. The girl you like I mean, she and her friends were talking about you. Usually, one would be happy by this. Even outsiders would be thrilled witnessing love. However, this wasn’t very thrilling. She was making fun of you and your feelings. She knew you’d fall at her feet and wanted to play with you for fun. She has been playing with you for fun since we started middle school. For some reason that tugged at my heart.

January 3rd, 2015

You did end up coming today, but you didn't look anyone in the eye. Not even your friends. I saw you though, at your locker. Your eyes were red and they looked empty, like someone pulled the rug from right under you and there was no sparkle. 

You couldn't help but feel a pang of worry as you watched him from across the hallway. Curiosity drew you closer, your footsteps light and cautious. You didn't want to intrude on his solitude, but you also couldn't bear to see him suffer in silence either. With hesitant steps, you approached his locker, unsure of what to say or do.

“Beomgyu?” you called out to him softly. 

He turned to face you, but still didn’t meet your gaze, though you knew he was listening. 

“Here,” you said and gently placed something in his hands.

It was a bag of gummy bears.

You watched the way his eyes widened slightly and he looked up for what was probably the first time today. 

“I didn’t realize that I bought two, and I know these have been your favorite since we were kids, so I’d like you to have them.”

His fingers gently gripped the bag in his hands and his eyes squeezed shut. When he opened them and looked at you again, you saw the sparkle. It wasn’t as bright as it usually was, but it was there, slowly flickering back to life. 

“You remember that?” he asked, the surprise clear in his voice.

“I do,” you confirmed.

“Why are you nervous right now?” he questioned, his voice as soft as ever.

“H-how do you know that I’m nervous?” you stammered, tugging slightly at a strand of your hair.

“You’re doing that thing with your hair. You’ve done that since we were kids.” 

It was now your turn to be surprised.

You giggled softly, slightly embarrassed with a mix of relief and amusement bubbling up inside you. 

"I guess some things never change, huh?" you replied, tucking the strand of hair behind your ear.

 It was true, whenever you felt nervous or uncertain, you had a habit of fiddling with your hair. Beomgyu's lips twitched into a small smile, faint but genuine. The tension that had been shrouding him seemed to dissipate ever so slightly.

"Yeah," he murmured, his voice still tinged with sadness. 

"Some things stay the same," he said and looked down again, this time fiddling with the bag of gummy bears.

He tore it open and held it out to you. A smile spread across your face, warmed by the small gesture. You reached out and took a gummy bear from the bag, popping it into your mouth. The two of you stood there in silence, chewing on the gummies and just looking at each other with shining eyes.

It was a simple moment, but it held a weight that words couldn't capture for both of you. At this time, Taehyun rounded the corner, a very familiar little black book in his hands and a small smirk adorned on his face. But when he saw the two of you, his smirk turned into a wide smile and he let you be.

He’ll give Beomgyu his book back some other time. 

September 8th, 2015

Today is the last day of summer vacation. I’d be starting high school tomorrow, and I was really looking forward to how the changes over the summer would transfer into the school year. A lot changed. Like a lot. Mostly good changes. I think I have real, genuine, friends now. But I’m afraid that my old group of “friends” will try to torment me throughout our high school years. I realized a lot of things about myself over the summer too. I can feel my face getting hot recalling them as I’m writing this. 

A lot had happened over the summer. A lot had changed. Your supposed friends had decided you would only bring them down, and despite them wanting a dramatic parting of your years of friendship, it ended quietly and expectedly. You weren’t hurt, and that seemed to bother them. You hung out with Taehyun a lot over the summer, Kai joining you two often. You found that you shared a lot in common with them, it was easy to get along with them and you never had to force yourself to go along with their plans. You learned that’s what friendship should feel like. 

Beomgyu would sometimes join you, his presence a comforting and familiar one. He seemed to carry a weight on his shoulders and you couldn't help but feel a sense of empathy towards him, especially after knowing that he had fallen for someone who didn't appreciate him. It was also strange how the two of you always seemed to show up around each other at just the right time, as if drawn together by some unseen force.

There was an instance where some random guy had been following you around on one of your evening walks and Beomgyu showed up then, catching on to the situation, pretending as if he’d been waiting for you. There was another time when you felt like having ice cream and when you went out to get some, you found Beomgyu walking out of the convenience store holding one of those ice creams with two sticks that you could split in half. He gave you the other half and joined you on your evening walk that night. You tried to brush them off as mere coincidences, but deep down, you knew there was something more at play.

After the “gummy bear incident”, as you like to refer to it as, there has been a subtle shift in your dynamic. Your interactions were never lacking in chemistry or politeness before, even with both of you being naturally shy individuals. But now, whenever the two of you found yourselves alone, neither of you could barely get a word out without stumbling over your words. Eye contact was practically non-existent between the two of you now, the air thick with unspoken tension and unfulfilled desires. The summer had brought you closer, yet somehow he still felt far away. And although you were hesitant to admit it out loud, your feelings for him had grown stronger with each passing day.

You liked him.

You’ve always liked Choi Beomgyu. 

September 9th, 2015

Today was the first day of high school. You and I are attending the same school again. You look really different now. Even though I saw it gradually happen over the summer, I’m pretty sure I spent most of today just looking at you. How tall you got, how deep your voice is now. Taehyun said you had a crush on someone, and it's good that you feel okay enough to feel like that about somone again I guess. I also met two new boys today, and we got along well. I'm looking forward to getting to know them.

As you entered the bustling hallways, sleek and gleaming under the bright fluorescent lights, you couldn't help but get lost in the sea of faces. There were whispers of excitement and trepidation that filled the air. Today was the first day of high school, a milestone that held both promise and uncertainty. You could feel the nervous energy radiating off the other freshmen as they hurried to find their lockers and compare schedules with friends that joined them from middle school. Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady your own racing heart, reminding yourself that everyone else most likely felt the same way you were feeling. 

As you navigated through the maze of lockers, you caught snippets of conversations. Excited chatter about summer adventures, worries about making new friends, and anxious whispers about the infamous teachers they were told to look out for. You saw a few familiar faces, including your former friends. Before any sort of interaction could happen between you, someone's frantic waving caught your attention. You sighed in relief seeing that it was Taehyun, and he was frantically waving at you to call you over. 

Grateful for the familiar, friendly face, you quickened your pace and made your way towards Taehyun. He was leaning against a row of lockers, his hair falling into his eyes as he scanned the crowd. As soon as he saw you approach, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Hey, you're finally here!" Taehyun exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine relief.

"Yeah," you replied with a nervous laugh. 

"Just trying to figure out where everything is."

Taehyun chuckled, brushing his hair back with a casual flick of his hand. 

"Don't worry, I've got it all figured out," he boasted playfully.

"I'm sure you do," you laughed and looked around. 

"Where's Kai?"

"He's at his locker, did you find where yours is yet?" Taehyun asked, leaning closer to look at the schedule in your hands. 

"No, I haven't. Want to help me find it since you got it "all figured out"?" 

Taehyun grinned and nodded, tucking his hands into his pockets as he fell into stride beside you. Together, you weaved through the bustling crowd of students, scanning the numbers on lockers until you finally found the one that matched the number on your schedule. With a sigh of relief, you spun the combination lock and swung open the metal door.

As you began to organize your books and supplies, Taehyun leaned against the locker next to yours, observing you with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"So," he began, "nervous about any particular classes?"

"Not really."

"Are you going to join any clubs or teams here?" he asked, though you could tell his attention was now somewhere else.

You were going to look up and jokingly ask why he wasn’t paying you any attention, but instead your heart started to beat really fast. Across the hall was Beomgyu, standing at his locker and you're only now noticing that Taehyun left your side to approach him. You watched as Taehyun sauntered over to Beomgyu with a mischievous glint in his eye. The two of them exchanged a few words, their conversation drowned out by the surrounding chatter. Beomgyu looked surprised at first but then broke into a shy smile, nodding in agreement to whatever Taehyun had asked him. The sight of both of them approaching you snapped you out of your daze and you quickly went back to organizing your things. 

“Hey,” Beomgyu greeted you softly.

 “Hi,” you slightly blushed, voice just as soft.

Watching this, Taehyun couldn't help but snicker because of what he knew. Taehyun stepped closer, now joining you and Beomgyu, his chuckles escaping his lips. You glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, curiosity tugging at your thoughts. 

"What's so funny?" you questioned, tilting your head to the side.

"Oh, nothing," Taehyun replied coyly, a mischievous glimmer still lingering in his eyes. 

"Just enjoying the sight in front of me."

Your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink as you exchanged a look with Beomgyu. 

"What are you going on about?" you asked cautiously, trying to hide your flustered state.

Taehyun chuckled again, nudging Beomgyu playfully. 

"Well, it just so happens that Beomgyu here has a little crush on someone," he teased, winking at Beomgyu.

Beomgyu's face turned several shades of red, and he shot Taehyun a playful glare. Your eyes widened slightly at Taehyun's words and you casted your eyes down to the floor, the only thing on your mind now was a simple question:

Again?

With a shy smile, Beomgyu glanced at you before turning his attention back to Taehyun. 

"Hey, don't go spreading rumors," he mumbled, trying to hide the blush creeping up his cheeks.

Taehyun chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Who said anything about rumors? I'm just stating the truth." He grinned mischievously, clearly enjoying the reaction he was getting from both of you.

Taehyun looked at you and smirked. 

"You see, he's got this little black notebook and-" he was cut off by Beomgyu practically pouncing on him and covering his mouth shut. 

You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Beomgyu trying to silence Taehyun. It was clear that there was more to this story than Taehyun was able to say. You glanced between the two of them, biting your lip to supress your laugh.

"What's in the black notebook, Beomgyu?" you finally asked, a genuine glimmer of curiosity in your eyes.

Beomgyu's face turned an even deeper shade of red as he released his hold on Taehyun, who immediately took the opportunity to tease him further.

"Oh, just a little collection of poems and doodles," Taehyun said with a smirk.

"They aren't poems," Beomgyu mumbled, looking down now.

"They're just silly scribbles," Beomgyu continued, his voice barely above a whisper.

His embarrassment was palpable, and there was a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. With a gentle smile, and a small burst of confidence, you took a step closer to him and reached out to touch his arm.

"I have a little black notebook too," you said, hoping to lessen any embarrassment he was feeling. 

Beomgyu's eyes widened in surprise as he looked at you, his blush fading slightly. 

"Really?" he asked, his voice filled with both excitement and curiosity.

You nodded, your own embarrassment now surfacing.

"Yeah," you replied softly. 

"Yeah, and it's my diary that's practically filled with love letters I can't send to you," you thought to yourself.

Before any more words could be exchanged, Kai approached you guys with a loud "hey" and the four of you started to compare schedules. You looked to Beomgyu one more time, finding that he was already looking at you, and you both looked away blushing yet again. Taehyun only shook his head in amusement and continued to point out the classes you all shared together. 

The rest of the day went by quickly, and as the final bell signaling the end of the school day rang, you found yourself walking alongside Beomgyu towards the exit. The air was filled with a comfortable silence, a warmth settling between you two.

"I can't believe Taehyun spilled the beans like that," Beomgyu muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

You giggled softly, feeling a surge of contentment wash over you. 

"Well, at least now I know I'm not the only one with secrets."

You two found Taehyun and Kai outside by the school's entrance, along with two other boys you've never seen before. As you approached the group, you squinted your eyes, trying to get a better look as if that would help you recognize them. One of them, with his tall stature and warm smile, extended a hand towards you in greeting.

"Hi there," he said, his voice friendly and inviting. 

"I'm Soobin. It's nice to meet you."

You shook his hand, returning his smile with one of your own. 

"Nice to meet you too, Soobin. I'm (Y/N)."

The other boy, on the other hand, had an air of confidence about him. His dark hair was styled effortlessly and his gaze, though piercing, was still inviting and held a hint of mischief. 

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm Yeonjun, nice to meet you." he introduced, giving you a charming smile. 

You nodded in acknowledgement, feeling the spark of curiosity ignite within you. There was something magnetic about these two new faces, something that made you want to know them better. After the small introduction, you waved your friends goodbye and made your way home, looking forward to the next day and the rest of your years at this school. 

February 14th, 2017

Today was Valentine’s Day. I wanted to mark this as a milestone. Although it’s not the first Valentine’s Day after I acknowledged my feelings for you, it’s the first one where I acknowledged them and have money of my own to buy you a present. Did I do that? Of course not. But something else happened, something better. I think you’d agree. I also think we were set up, which reminds me that I have to thank Taehyun and Yeonjun tomorrow. 

February 14th, Valentine’s Day. You never really understood the point of the holiday. Never understanding why a day needed to be dedicated to love. You thought love should be expressed everyday, through big or small gestures. In elementary school, it seemed like another excuse to be able to eat candy and chocolate, which you didn’t mind at all. In middle school, people started to use the day as an opportunity to confess, that way if rejected they could play it off as an obligatory present. In high school, it seemed more serious. People planned to confess with the intentions of a relationship, not like in middle school where you would confess just to get it over with. As you walked down the halls of your high school, you took notice of the flurry of red and pink decorations adorning lockers, walls, and even the ceiling. Couples exchanged heartfelt gifts and whispered sweet nothings to each other, while others eagerly awaited their own moment to confess their feelings. Shaking your head, you made your way to your locker, finding Beomgyu at his.

"Beomgyu, good morning," you called out to him, your voice small and cheeks getting warm from the sight of him.

He turned slightly and gave you a sweet smile in acknowledgement. 

"Good morning," Beomgyu replied, his eyes sparkling with warmth. He closed his locker and leaned against it as he looked at you. 

"Happy Valentine's Day."

You couldn't help but blush deeper at his words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling inside you. 

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too," you replied, mustering up all the courage you had.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that made your heart flutter. 

"Do you have any plans for today?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

The tilt of his head caused his hair to fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reached out and brushed his hair out of his face. Beomgyu's eyes widened slightly at your touch, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. He seemed momentarily taken aback before a smile slowly graced his lips.

"Thanks," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

The way he looked at you, with such gentle adoration, made your heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. I wasn't thinking," you stammered, your face burning with embarrassment.

Beomgyu shook his head, still smiling softly.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice gentle and reassuring. 

"I liked it."

Your face flushed even deeper at his words, but a shy smile tugged at the corners of your lips. As the two of you stood there, caught in a moment of unspoken connection, the sound of laughter and chatter echoed down the hallway. You both turned to see Taehyun and Yeonjun approaching, their faces bright. Taehyun had a mischievous grin playing on his lips, while Yeonjun had a glint of excitement in his eyes.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Taehyun called out with a teasing grin.

"Did we interrupt something?"

You felt your face grow even hotter, embarrassed by the attention, but Beomgyu's presence beside you gave you a sense of comfort.

Yeonjun nudged Taehyun playfully. 

"Leave them alone, Tae. Can't you see they're having a moment?"

Beomgyu chuckled softly, shaking his head. 

"It's fine, guys. We were just talking." 

You immediately nodded in agreement. 

“Right, can’t two friends just talk?”

You can tell that neither of them were convinced, but they decided to drop the teasing and turn their attention to their own plans for the day. Apparently all six of us were going to hang out after school, since none of us have a Valentine. Soobin, being as boyfriend coded as he is, thought it would be hilarious to plan something sickeningly sweet for us all to do after school. Taehyun, Yeonjun, and Kai were all on board with the idea, finding it both humorous and enjoyable. They offered to handle the arrangements. 

After that, the rest of the day seemed to stretch on endlessly. You witnessed numerous confessions, with some leading to a positive outcome and others resulting in unnecessarily harsh rejection. By your lunch period, you saw your friends walk into the cafeteria holding multiple boxes of chocolates. You weren't surprised in the slightest, they were all incredibly charming and attractive. 

As you and Kai walked to your next class after lunch, he explained that both he and Taehyun couldn't make it to the group's afternoon plans. When you asked for a reason, all he said was "something came up". You didn't press any further, even though you were confused, but you figured that Kai had his own reasons for keeping things vague. 

When the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, you found yourself walking alongside Beomgyu towards the designated meeting spot. The meeting spot was a quaint little café tucked away in a quiet corner of town. The air was filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, and soft jazz music played in the background, creating a cozy ambiance. You looked around for any sight of Yeonjun or Soobin, and saw Beomgyu doing the same. But to your surprise, neither Yeonjun nor Soobin were there. You exchanged a confused glance with Beomgyu, wondering where they could be.

"I thought they would be here already," Beomgyu said, furrowing his brows. 

"Maybe they got caught up with something."

"They'll probably show up soon. Let's just grab a table and wait for them."

Beomgyu smiled at you gratefully, the corners of his lips lifting up. Your heart started to race at the sight, and you couldn't help but return the smile, feeling a warm sense of comfort settle in your chest. You found a small table near the window, and Beomgyu pulled out a chair for you, his gestures filled with a gentle tenderness. As you settled into your seats, the anticipation of the afternoon plans mixed with a hint of uncertainty lingered in the air. You glanced at Beomgyu, who was lost in his own thoughts, a faint furrow still etched on his forehead. He pulled out his little black notebook and started to scribble. A soft smile played on your lips as you watched him, and you recalled that he was writing in the book earlier today too. 

Curiosity getting the best of you, you leaned in a bit closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what Beomgyu was writing. However, as if sensing your prying eyes, he quickly closed the notebook and looked up at you with a grin.

"Oh, so you're interested in my little secrets now?" he teased, playfully raising an eyebrow.

You blushed and shook your head, feeling a mix of embarrassment and intrigue. 

"I was just curious. You wrote in that book a lot today."

Beomgyu's smile softened, and he slid the notebook back into his backpack. Before he could respond, the sound of an incoming text notification went off and you picked up your phone. 

"it's from Yeonjun," you announced, reading the message quietly to yourself. 

You frowned slightly, disappointed that Yeonjun wouldn't be joining you. But the text message left you with more questions than answers. What could be so urgent that he couldn't even explain? And why did he add that playful winking emoji at the end?

Beomgyu, who had been waiting for your response, leaned in to catch a glimpse of the message. His brows furrowed, mirroring your own confusion. 

"That's strange," he murmured. 

"Yeonjun usually doesn't leave things so vague."

Then, another notification came in, Beomgyu picking up his phone this time. 

"It's Soobin," Beomgyu read, his eyes narrowing as he read the message. He let out a soft chuckle and shook his head.

"What is it?" you asked, leaning closer to see the message on his phone.

You exchanged a bewildered look with Beomgyu, the pieces of the puzzle not quite fitting together. It was too much of a coincidence that at this point, you didn't believe that any of this was a coincidence. You were starting to feel like you and Beomgyu were being set up. The sound of another text coming in on Beomgyu's phone brought you back to the present. Beomgyu glanced at his phone and his eyes widened in surprise, a faint pink now dusting his cheeks. Sitting up a little straighter, he cleared his throat and looked at you. 

"Should we just go home...?"

His voice trailed off as if he didn't want to ask the question. 

“I-I mean, we’re already here. But they never exactly said what we’d be doing so..” you stammered over your words, not expecting him to ask that.

Did he want to leave?

Beomgyu sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly as if he was trying to make himself smaller out of nervousness.

"Are you okay with it being just the two of us?" he asked, his voice tinged with a mix of nervousness and hope.

"I think we can still have a great time together," he added, mustering a small smile. 

Your heart started beating faster at his words, the warmth in his eyes reflecting the genuine desire for your company. You found yourself nodding, unable to form words as you simply smiled at him. Beomgyu's face brightened at your response, a genuine grin spreading across his features. He stood up from his seat and you followed, both of you walking out of the cafe. 

“Is there anywhere specific you want to go?”

He asked as he checked his phone. 

“I’m okay with anything really. Just walking around like this is nice too.”

He gave a slight nod and put his phone in his pocket, “how about an arcade? There’s one nearby.”

Your eyes lit up and you nodded, “I love arcades. I haven’t been to one in a long time.”

Beomgyu smiled, looking at you, “was the last time when we went to one in fifth grade? For that school trip?”

“Yeah, it was then. I think I spent all the money I got on the claw machines,” you said with a small laugh as you recalled the trip.  

“The claw machines are probably my favorite.” 

“You know…” Beomgyu started, “I’m known as the king of claws,” he said with as playful smirk. 

“Is that so? I’ll have to see it to believe it,” you replied giggling. 

You arrived at the arcade shortly after and he did prove it. His first try, he won a small teddy bear. You watched as he kneeled down to retrieve his prize, then stood up and handed it to you. 

“Believe me now?” He asked with a grin, running a hand through his hair. 

You gently took the teddy bear and hugged it to your chest. 

“I think you got lucky,” you teased, even though you did believe him. 

He raised an eyebrow as if to say “oh yeah?” and tried a different one. This time he won a prize in two tries, retrieving it and turning around with his arms crossed. You bit back a laugh and clutched the teddy bear in your hands a little tighter. 

“Okay, I digress. You’re the king of claws,” you admitted to fuel his already growing ego, and just to see him feel good about himself. 

He grinned, satisfied with your words and then brushed the imaginary dust off his shoulders. 

“I was only teasing you know, I believed you from the start,” you said softly, adjusting your backpack on your back. 

“I know, I was playing along and trying to impress you,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling shy. 

You blushed at his confession, feeling a warmth spreading through your chest. Beomgyu's vulnerability and effort to impress you made your heart flutter. You reached out and gently nudged his arm with your elbow.

"Well, you succeeded," you said, your voice filled with sincerity.

Beomgyu's cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink, and he couldn't hide the bashful smile that tugged at his lips.

You kept wandering through the arcade, trying out different games and amassing more tickets. Rather than exchanging them for prizes, you opted to give them to a group of young children also enjoying the arcade. You didn't want to carry all your winnings and your backpacks, it would have been too exhausting. It was also nice to see the way their eyes lit up when you gave them the tickets. You made sure to hold onto the teddy bear Beomgyu won for you when you first got there though.

As the afternoon turned into evening, you and Beomgyu decided to leave the arcade. The two of you walked side by side on the bustling streets, occasionally bumping into each other playfully. There was a comfortable silence between you, no need for constant conversation. It was enough just to be in each other's presence. Beomgyu checked his phone and suggested finding someplace to have dinner. You nodded in agreement, your stomach rumbling in anticipation. Together, you searched for a nearby restaurant, eager to continue the enjoyable day you were having. 

As luck would have it, you stumbled upon a cozy little diner with the inviting aroma of comfort food wafting through the air. You entered the diner and were immediately greeted by the friendly chatter of other diners and the clinking of cutlery against plates. Beomgyu led the way to a booth near the window, and you slid in across from him. After scanning the menu, you glanced at the teddy bear that you put to sit neatly on the table.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like a teddy bear?" you asked him suddenly. 

He chuckled softly, reaching across the table to playfully poke the teddy bear's nose.

"Well no, no one has ever compared me to a teddy bear before," he replied, his voice tinged with amusement.

"But I guess I can see why you'd say that. Is it because of my fluffy hair?"

"Your hair is part of it," you started to say, but stopped and wondered if you should continue. 

You thought for a moment, considering whether to share your feelings with Beomgyu. Not confess to him, you weren't ready for that. You looked into Beomgyu's eyes and found comfort and reassurance staring back at you. Encouraged by his presence, you decided to open up.

"Actually, it's not just your hair," you confessed, your voice filled with a mix of nervousness and sincerity. 

"It's more about how being around you makes me feel. You have this warmth and kindness that reminds me of a teddy bear. Whenever I'm with you, it's like being wrapped in a comforting embrace."

Beomgyu leaned back against the booth and looked at you, his eyes filled with warmth and affection. A soft smile graced his lips as he took in your words, and you could see the genuine joy sparkling in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said, his voice soft.

"That's honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me."

"You know," he continued, his smile growing wider, "I feel the same way about you. Whenever I'm with you, it feels like all the worries and troubles disappear, and I'm just surrounded by this incredible sense of happiness and comfort." 

"I wonder if it would've been like this still, if we decided to ignore those stupid boys when we were six," he mused aloud, a sense of nostalgia now surrounding your booth. 

You chuckled softly, reminiscing on the memory of the day you first met and the day after.

"I'm surprised you remember that. I only left you alone so they would stop calling you those mean names," you said, fondness in your voice.

"I didn't like seeing you so disheartened and I thought that was the best thing to do," you explained, a hint of sheepishness coloring your cheeks.

"You were really considerate for being six years old," he replied, a wistful smile playing on his lips. 

The waitress approached your table, interrupting your conversation as she took your orders. As you waited for your food to arrive, you found yourselves lost in each other's company, talking about everything and nothing at all. When your food arrived and you dug into your meals, savoring the taste and coninuing to enjoy each other's presence. The diner was filled with a comforting ambiance, the soft buzz of conversation and the clinking of cutlery providing a soothing soundtrack to your moment together. 

You excused yourself to the restroom and came back to find that Beomgyu already paid for both of you. He stood up upon your return and you left the diner.

The night air was cool against your skin as you continued your stroll down the streets. The city lights illuminated the path ahead, casting a warm glow over everything. You looked up at Beomgyu and found him checking his phone again. 

"Is everything okay?" you asked, noticing the slight furrow of his brows as he scrolled through his phone.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Beomgyu replied, slipping his phone back into his pocket. 

"Do you still go on those evening walks?" he asked in a clear attempt to change the subject. 

You smiled at the question, recalling the habit you had developed long ago.

"Yes, I do," you replied. 

"I find them quite calming, especially after a busy day. It's a chance to clear my mind and appreciate the beauty of the world around me."

"Then, would you like to take a walk now? Before we go home?" he asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

You nodded, feeling a surge of excitement coursing through you. You didn't want whatever this was to end just yet, and his question allowed you to believe that he didn't either. You walked side by side, not really following a specific path. As you strolled through the city streets, the sound of your footsteps harmonized with the rhythm of your conversation, a sense of serenity enveloping you both. The bustling chaos of the city seemed to fade into the background as you wandered aimlessly, and soon the two of you found yourselves in a small park.

 The park was mostly empty, save for a few older couples scattered on benches. You noticed a beautiful gazebo standing gracefully in the distance. You immediately walked towards the gazebo, Beomgyu following closely behind. The moonlight filtered through the intricate ironwork of the structure, casting delicate shadows on the ground below and you stood there for a while, Beomgyu right by your side, taking in the scene before you and looking up at the moon. The night was getting darker, and both of you had to wake up early for school the following day.

"Should we get going now?" you asked, glancing at Beomgyu. 

"Yeah, we probably should," he replied softly.

As you started to leave the park, Beomgyu kindly offered to walk you home. You accepted with a grateful nod and a gentle smile, walking in the direction of your house together. 

You watched as he checked his phone once again, his eyes widening and he shook his head slightly, as if in disbelief of what he read.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" you asked, concern lacing your voice.

"Y-yeah, everything is good," he said, his voice tinged with nervousness. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

"If you say so, it's just- you've been checking your phone since we left the cafe," you pointed out.

"I promise, it's nothing to worry about. I was just checking something," he assured, and you believed him for now.

Little did you know, he'd been checking a list Soobin had sent him of all the things they were supposed to do after school, though he thinks they altered it. He knows for sure they altered it. Still, he made sure to do all of them (he didn’t feed you though, he’d blush too much trying to).

Except for the fourth thing, it wasn't time yet. 

March 13th, 2017

Today’s your birthday, your 16th birthday to be more specific. I was the first of our friends to turn 16, then Taehyun, and I think Yeonjun made turning 16 a bigger deal than it is. Though, it was nice to see you excited for your birthday. I hope your excitement is still as big today.  I debated a lot on what to get you, or if I should even get you something at all. In the end I did, the beaded bracelet on my wrist that you got me for my birthday, gave me an idea. I really hope you like it. If I had the courage, this is how I would give it to you: I  imagine going on a walk with you. Planned this time. Either under the moonlight or early in the morning. Taking in the fresh, crisp air and getting a chance to breathe. I’d listen attentively and answer all your questions wholeheartedly, and ask you some of my own. You’d surprise me by bringing up something I thought was too minuscule to remember and then you’d probably let out that precious giggle, followed by that pretty smile. It would quickly be replaced by your own surprise because I would bring something up about you too, and let out a small giggle of my own. It would feel like we were away from the real world for a while, surrounded by warmth and magic- cause that’s what you’re made of in my eyes. Then we’d stop somewhere, maybe by the Han River or the park we went to on Valentine’s Day and that’s where I’d give you my present. However, I wouldn’t be able to do this, so I’ll have to settle for lamely giving it to you when I see you in school. 

Today was the warmest day of the week, and your nervousness was making you feel even warmer. The bracelets on your arm jingled and clinked as you nervously fiddled with them, the sound catching the attention of your friends. Yeonjun and Kai noticed your anxiousness and playfully teased you for it as you walked through the school hallway. Their laughter only fueled your nerves, and you blushed, desperately trying to hide your embarrassment.

"Come on, it's just a birthday present," Kai said with a grin.

"Yeah, don't be so nervous," Yeonjun added, nudging you playfully.

"I'm sure he'll love it."

You managed a weak smile, grateful for their support. Deep down though, you couldn't help but doubt yourself. What if he didn't like the present? What if it wasn't good enough? Your mind swirled with insecurities as you made your way to your first class, not even bothering to stop at your locker. Beomgyu would probably be there, across the hall at his, and you wouldn't be able to give him the present, let alone see or talk to him right now.

March 13th, 2017

It’s already lunch time and I still haven’t been able to give it to you. I also think you’ve caught onto the fact that I’m avoiding you. The guys were teasing me earlier but Taehyun realized just how nervous I actually am and has been staying by my side. After Valentine’s Day, it felt like we were both holding something back. I knew I was, but what could you be keeping from me? Do you like me too? That’s probably impossible. Did you pick up on the fact that I like you, and you don’t know how to tell me that you just want to be friends? I’m overthinking again… 

Taehyun nudged you gently to get your attention. You looked up from fervently writing and saw his eyes filled with concern. 

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

You sighed, closing the little black notebook. 

"I don't know, Taehyun. I've been avoiding Beomgyu all day, and I can tell he's noticed. But I just... I can't bring myself to give him the present."

Taehyun tilted his head, his expression thoughtful.

"Why not?"

You looked at Taehyun, uncertainty clouding your eyes. 

"I guess I'm just scared," you admitted reluctantly.

"What if he doesn't like it? What if it's not good enough?"

Taehyun's gaze softened, understanding flickering in his eyes. He placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

"Listen, I get it. It's natural to be nervous about this kind of thing. But Beomgyu is not the kind of person who would judge what kind of present he gets. And take it from me, he'd be over the moon to get anything as long as it's from you."

You took a deep breath, trying to absorb Taehyun's words of encouragement. He was right, you knew Beomgyu well enough by now to know that he wouldn't judge your gift. Still, the anxiety gnawed at you like a persistent itch.

"Thank you, Taehyun," you whispered, appreciating his unwavering support.

"I needed to hear that."

He squeezed your shoulder gently before releasing it and giving you an encouraging smile.

"Anytime. Now go find him and give him that present. I'm sure he's waiting for it."

March 13th, 2017

Despite what Taehyun said, I still didn’t do it. It's eighth period, and the bell signaling the end of the school day will ring in a few minutes. I know I’ll see you before going home, cause I have to go to my locker. I don’t need all these books. Maybe I can prolong going to my locker for as long as possible. Just until you, along with everyone else in the school leaves.

As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, you found yourself lingering in the classroom, pretending to organize your books. Each passing minute felt like an eternity, and you couldn't shake off the knot of nervousness that had settled in your stomach. The classroom slowly emptied out, leaving you alone with your racing thoughts.

Ten minutes passed, and you peeked out of the classroom to find the halls nearly empty. This was your chance to pack up your books and head home, without the worry of bumping into anyone, especially Beomgyu. As you turned the corner, you spotted Beomgyu leaning against the lockers, his eyes casted down to the floor. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of anxiousness and fear.

And a little bit of guilt.

What was he still doing here?

Beomgyu looked up as the sound of footsteps echoed through the empty hallway. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. You watched as a flicker of surprise and disappointment passed over his face before he quickly masked it with a small smile.

"Hey," he said, his voice filled with warmth but tinged with a hint of uncertainty.

"Hi," you replied, your voice almost a whisper as nerves danced in your stomach.

Beomgyu seemed to sense your unease, taking a step closer to you, his expression filled with concern.

"Is everything alright?" he asked softly, his gaze locked with yours.

"You've been avoiding me all day."

"oh, you noticed," you mumbled, your voice barely audible.

Your eyes darted away from his gaze, unable to meet his penetrating stare. Beomgyu reached out, gently placing a hand on your arm.

"Yeah, I noticed," he said gently.

"Did I do something wrong?"

His touch caused you to jump, and he quickly retract his hand. You could see the hurt flash in his eyes, and guilt washed over you. 

"No, no, it's not you," you stammered, finally mustering the courage to meet his gaze.

"It's just... I've been feeling overwhelmed today."

Beomgyu nodded, his expression softening with understanding.

"I'm sorry if I added to that. I didn't mean to make you feel overwhelmed."

You shook your head quickly, wanting to reassure him.

"No, it's not your fault, really. It's just... I didn't know how to give you something."

Beomgyu's brow furrowed slightly, confusion evident in his eyes.

"Give me something?" he repeated, his voice laced with curiosity. 

"Happy Birthday," you whispered, your eyes squeezed shut as you held out the present you made for him.

Beomgyu's eyes widened as he took the gift from your trembling hands. For a moment, he simply stared at it, as if unable to comprehend what was happening. Then, a warm smile spread across his face, and he pulled you into a tight embrace.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with genuine gratitude.

"You have no idea how much this means to me."

Relief flooded through you as you melted into his embrace, feeling safe and secure in his arms.

"It's a bracelet. Like the one you gave me for my birthday. I added a teddy bear charm, cause well... you remember what I said," you whispered, your voice trailing off.

A tenderness settled over Beomgyu's expression, and he nodded in understanding.

"I remember," he replied softly, his fingers tracing the delicate charm on the bracelet.

"It means the world to me."

"I'm sorry for avoiding you," you murmured, your voice barely audible.

"I was just scared, clearly for no reason."

Beomgyu put the bracelet on, holding out his wrist for you to see. You gazed at his wrist, the bracelet snugly hugging his skin. The sight brought a smile to your face, and seeing you smile caused Beomgyu to smile too. 

"Can I walk you home?" he softly asked, his voice filled with a newfound warmth. 

You nodded, your heart fluttering with relief and excitement. As you walked side by side down the deserted school halls, you found yourself sticking closer than usual to him. The two of you strolled down the familiar streets, sharing lighthearted banter and laughter. Beomgyu's hand brushed against yours occasionally, sending feelings of electricity through your veins. As you reached your front gate, silence fell between the two of you.

"Thank you for walking me home," you said softly.

Beomgyu smiled, his eyes looking you over with pure adoration.

"It was my pleasure," he replied gently. 

"I'm sorry again for avoiding you on your birthday," you said quickly, not wanting him to leave just yet.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

"Thank you again for the bracelet, I'll treasure it."

"I'm glad you like it," you whispered, your voice filled with genuine happiness.

A sudden burst of courage overtook you, "there's another thing I forgot to give you," you said almost confidently and made sure to meet his eyes.

Beomgyu's eyebrows raised in surprise, curiosity taking over his features. 

"Oh? What is it?" he asked, a playful smile now tugging at the corners of his lips.

You took a deep breath, your heart hammering against your chest. All that nervousness was resurfacing but you weren't going to back out now. You slowly stood on your tippy toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

Beomgyu's eyes widened at the unexpected gesture, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. He stood frozen for a moment, processing the gentle touch of your lips on his skin.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. His hand instinctively reached up to touch the spot where your lips had touched his cheek.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," you whispered, a shy smile playing on your lips.

Beomgyu nodded, still slightly stunned by the unexpected kiss.

"Yeah, definitely," he replied, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and anticipation.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

You waved goodbye, feeling a newfound sense of confidence as you walked towards your front door. As you closed the door behind you, the confidence turned to slight embarrassment and you felt your face get hot.

You can't believe you just did that.

May 18th, 2018

It’s hard to believe that junior year is almost over. Then we’ll be seniors. For some reason, today felt like one of those “hey let’s reflect on my life” days and I decided that I’ve been really happy lately. No I haven’t confessed to you, but we’ve definitely gotten closer. To the point where we hang out after school or even on the weekends, just the two of us. Sometimes (a lot of times), you’ll even ask to join me on my walks and it’s nice to have company on them. Or should I say your company. Aside from that, something a little strange happened this morning. Someone from the basketball team asked me out. I told him I’d think about it. 

Even as you grow older, there’s something about Fridays that never loses its appeal. This particular Friday greeted you with a sense of optimism and well-being. The sun was shining and the sky was clear, almost like it was a sign of good things to come. You got to school earlier than usual, none of your friends are there yet, except for Kai because he's on the basketball team and they had practice before school began. 

"Hey," Kai said with a smile as he approached you. 

"You're here early today."

"Yeah, I woke up earlier than usual," you replied, returning his smile.

Kai leaned against the lockers beside you, his gaze fixated on the empty hallway.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Curiosity piqued, you turned to face him fully.

"Sure, what's up?" 

Kai took a deep breath and his eyes darted around the hallway, almost as if he was hesitant to say anything. 

"You know, Taeyang right? Our point guard?"

"Yeah, I know him," you replied, wondering where this conversation was headed.

Kai continued, his voice slightly hesitant.

"Well, he asked me to talk to you on his behalf. Since you and I are good friends and all. He... um... well, he wanted to ask you out."

You blinked, taken aback by the unexpected proposition. Taeyang was popular and well-liked, but you never considered dating him. You let out a nervous laugh, trying to process the sudden turn of events. 

"Wait, seriously? Taeyang wants to ask me out?"

Kai nodded, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"Yeah, he's been talking about you lately."

"Wow, that's... unexpected," you spoke honestly, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. 

"Well, what did you tell him?" you asked Kai, your heart pounding with a mix of nerves and what felt like excitement.

Kai sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I told him I'd talk to you about it. And honestly, I think you should consider it."

Kai wasn't exactly sure why he was telling you to consider it. He knew about Beomgyu's feelings towards you and even helped orchestrate the setup on Valentine's Day. 

As you listened to Kai's words, a swirl of emotions filled your chest. On one hand, the idea of going out with Taeyang intrigued you. He was popular, charismatic, and undeniably attractive. Anyone would agree to go out with him in a heartbeat. But, your mind also couldn't help but drift to Beomgyu. You thought about how gentle, kind-hearted and attentive Beomgyu was. You liked Beomgyu, really liked him, but Kai didn't know that. You only told Taehyun, and Yeonjun somehow picked up on your feelings too. Taeyang may be popular and attractive, but he didn't evoke the same warmth and comfort and thrill as Beomgyu did.

Taking a deep breath, you looked at Kai, determination flickering in your eyes.

"Thank you for telling me, Kai. I appreciate it."

Kai's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Wait, you decided already?"

You nodded, your voice filled with certainty.

"Yeah, I have. I don't see myself going out with Taeyang. He's probably a great guy, but there's someone else I've been thinking about."

Kai's eyes widened in surprise and he couldn't help but ask to confirm his suspicions.

"Do you mean... Beomgyu?" 

A blush crept up your cheeks, confirming Kai's suspicion.

"Yeah, Beomgyu. I really like him. I have for a long time, but only came to terms with it when we got to high school."

A knowing smile tugged at the corners of Kai's lips as he leaned closer to you.

"I had a feeling," he whispered, his voice barely audible. 

You looked at Kai, relief and nervousness flooding your heart.

"You knew?"

Kai chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Let's just say I'm good at reading people. And it became more obvious with the way you were acting on his birthday last year."

You couldn't help but blush at Kai's observation, remembering how nervous you had felt that day. It seemed that everyone had picked up on your feelings for Beomgyu except for Beomgyu himself. And maybe Soobin.

"Yeah, I tried my best to hide it," you admitted with a sheepish smile.

"But I guess I haven't been doing a very good job."

Kai shrugged and nudged you playfully.

"To be fair, it's hard to hide with the way your eyes light up whenever he's around."

You laughed softly, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as you openly discussed your feelings for Beomgyu with Kai.

"So what are you going to do now?" Kai asked, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

"I think I'll wait and see if Taeyang talks to me himself. Cause I find it a little hard to believe that a guy like that would have someone else ask someone out for him," you said, your voice laced with a hint of skepticism. 

"If he's interested, he can approach me directly. But as for Beomgyu, I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him." 

Kai nodded understandingly, his gaze sympathetic. He knew Beomgyu liked you, but he swore not to say anything. 

Kai let out a soft sigh and reached out to give your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I understand your hesitation. It's not easy to confess our feelings, especially when we fear the possibility of rejection. But sometimes, taking a chance is worth it."

You looked at Kai, his words resonating deep within your heart.

Taking a chance... Was it really worth it?

The fear of rejection loomed over you like a dark cloud, casting doubt upon your every thought. You shook your head, pushing all the negative thoughts away, and the sight of more students entering the hallway caught your attention.

Among the students making their way through the bustling hallway, you caught a glimpse of Beomgyu. He was talking and laughing with Soobin and Yeonjun. Your heart felt warm, and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. Kai followed your gaze and noticed Beomgyu too. His eyes twinkled mischievously as he leaned in closer to you. 

"You know," he said, his voice low and conspiratorial, "there's no harm in taking matters into your own hands."

You looked at Kai, intrigued by his suggestion.

"What do you mean?"

Kai grinned, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Well, if you're hesitant about confessing directly, why not drop some subtle hints? See if Beomgyu picks up on them."

The idea both excited and terrified you.

"I-I'll consider that," you murmured. 

The day progressed as usual, but you made the choice to sit outside during your lunch period. You found a quiet spot under a tree, the gentle rustling of leaves providing a soothing backdrop as you mulled over Kai's suggestion. The sun bathed you in its warm rays, and you took a deep breath, pulling out your little black notebook. Flipping through the pages, you came across several doodles and snippets of poetry and letters that you had written over the years. Lost in your thoughts, you absentmindedly traced the words you had written about Beomgyu.

Unaware of the passing time, a shadow fell over your notebook. Startled, you looked up to find Taeyang standing before you. He had a small smile on his face, his eyes reflecting curiosity and something else you couldn't quite place.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, gesturing to the empty space next to you.

You blinked, momentarily taken aback by Taeyang's unexpected presence. 

"Uh, sure," you stammered, quickly moving your backpack aside to make room for him.

Taeyang settled down beside you, his gaze lingering on your notebook for a brief moment before focusing on you. You quickly closed the notebook and put it back into your bag. Nervously, you fidgeted with the strap, unsure of what to say. You were the first to break the awkward (at least for you) silence when you mentioned that you and Kai had talked this morning. He leaned back against the tree and let out a small laugh. 

"I didn't think he'd talk to you for me," Taeyang admitted.

"I also wanted to talk to you myself."

You looked at him, surprised by his straightforward honesty.

"Really?"

Taeyang nodded, his eyes searching yours.

"Yeah. I wanted to see if you'd be interested in going out on a date with me."

Your heart started beating faster, caught off guard by Taeyang's straightforwardness. 

"Is it okay if I think about it?" you asked, trying to steady your racing thoughts.

Taeyang's smile faltered for a moment, his eyes filled with a hint of disappointment, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Of course, take your time," he replied, his voice gentle and understanding.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm interested in getting to know you better."

You nodded, grateful for his patience.

"Thank you, Taeyang. I appreciate your honesty."

Afterwards, you collected your belongings and went in search of your friends, joining them for the remainder of lunch. You found them sitting at a table that was not too distant from the tree where you had just been sitting.

"So, what did Taeyang want?" Soobin asked, nudging your shoulder playfully as you sat down in the open space next to him.

You blushed, feeling a rush of nerves as all eyes turned toward you.

"Um, well... he asked me out on a date," you admitted shyly. 

You noticed the way they all looked to Boemgyu before erupting into a chorus of excited exclamations, their enthusiasm coming off a little forced. Soobin clapped you on the back, causing you to nearly spill your water.

"That's amazing!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with delight.

"Finally, someone recognizes how incredible you are!"

Blushing even more, you laughed at Soobin's exaggerated reaction.

"Thanks, Soobin. You guys are too much."

Yeonjun smirked and leaned in closer, his voice dripping with playful teasing.

"Well, I guess now we have to give you some dating advice. Remember, confidence is key."

Rolling your eyes, you playfully nudged Yeonjun back.

"Oh please, like you're an expert in dating."

Yeonjun feigned offense, clutching his heart dramatically. 

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm a smooth operator when it comes to matters of the heart."

"Before any dating advice, you guys should know that I didn't say yes. I told Taeyang I'd think about it," you explained, trying to temper their excitement.

"But why would you need to think about it?" Kai chimed in, a mischievous glint in his eyes as if he didn't remember anything you told him just this morning. 

"Taeyang's a great guy and he likes you. What's there to think about?"

You sighed, realizing that your friends weren't going to let you off the hook easily.

"It's just... complicated," you murmured, avoiding their intense gazes.

You looked up from your fidgeting hands to see Beomgyu looking at you. His expression was unreadable, a mix of concern and something deeper that you couldn't quite place. It made your heart ache a little, the way he had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the conversation. 

"I think you should go for it," Beomgyu spoke softly.

The chatter from everyone else suddenly stopped and they all turned to him looking either confused, shocked or both. You looked at Beomgyu surprised, your heart sinking at his words. You felt a pang of disappointment at Beomgyu's response. His words weighed heavily on your heart, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions that you struggled to make sense of. It felt like a knife twisting in your chest as you realized that Beomgyu, the person you had secretly (not so secretly) harbored feelings for, was encouraging you to pursue someone else.

With a forced smile, you tried to brush off the sudden heaviness in the air. 

"Thanks, Beomgyu. I appreciate your input," you said, your voice wavering ever so slightly.

The rest of your friends exchanged glances, sensing the tension that had seeped into the atmosphere. Soobin, always the peacemaker, cleared his throat and tried to lighten the mood. 

"So, who's up for some ice cream after school?" Soobin suggested with a grin, hoping to distract everyone from the brewing awkwardness.

The suggestion seemed to work, as the tension in the air eased and your friends nodded eagerly, already planning which flavors they would get. You silently thanked Soobin for his quick thinking, grateful for his ability to diffuse any situation. Despite the lighthearted conversation that followed, the weight of Beomgyu's words still lingered in your mind. The bell rang shortly after, and even though you had your next class with Kai, you walked quickly to the classroom by yourself, needing some time alone to process what just happened.

May 18th, 2018

It’s the end of the school day and even though you didn’t say much, your words were all I could think about. You wanted me to date someone else… That has to mean that you don’t like me any more than a friend. I guess I’ll have to just deal with that-

Beomgyu closed the little black notebook.

He should've done so when he realized the notebook belonged to you, which was when he read the very first entry. He shouldn't have read any of your personal thoughts and feelings, but he couldn't help himself. He found it on a desk while looking for you after the final bell had rung. Thinking it was his own notebook, since he had the class earlier in the day and hasn’t been able to find his, he picked it up and sought out a blank page to write on, needing an outlet for the complicated feelings that surfaced at lunch today. 

Beomgyu hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether he should confess his accidental discovery or simply leave the notebook on the desk without mentioning it. He was certain though that he had to be completely truthful with you about his feelings now. He didn't want you to go out with Taeyang, but he knew you might not believe him after the way he had encouraged you before.

He was in a state of panic, desperately trying to figure out how to make you understand his feelings without actually saying it, because he can't seem to say the right words around you. Rummaging through his bag, he pulled out his identical little black notebook, finding it at the very bottom, and put it on the desk where he found yours. He looked back at the book and let out a deep sigh before leaving the classroom. 

Now he just had to wait.

When the last bell rang, you tried to get yourself out of the school building as quickly as you could, not bothering to stop by your locker. You were lost in your own thoughts, still replaying the conversation from earlier. The hallway was bustling with students, but everything around you seemed to blur into background noise. You continued walking, as if you were on autopilot, until your legs began to ache and you stopped. As you survey your surroundings, you realize that you somehow ended up at the park where you and Beomgyu spent Valentine's Day. The memories flood back and tears begin to well up in your eyes.

Why were you crying?

You didn't tell him how you felt, yet it still felt like you got rejected. 

You take a seat on the nearest bench, resting your bag on your lap and frantically search for your little black notebook. It holds all of your thoughts about Beomgyu, but also serves as your diary, which you desperately need at the moment. Panic began to take hold as you hurriedly emptied your bag.

It wasn't there.

Your little black notebook was missing from your bag.

How could you have lost it?

The notebook held not only your innermost thoughts about Beomgyu but also all of your secrets and fears. Your mind races with possibilities. Did you drop it somewhere? Did someone take it? The thought of someone reading your most intimate thoughts and feelings made you feel sick to your stomach.

You feel a lump forming in your throat as tears threaten to spill from your eyes. The weight of the situation, combined with the emotional turmoil of the day, became overwhelming. Taking a deep breath, you put everything back into your bag and went back to school. The first place you checked was the lost and found in the main office, asking the teacher behind the desk if anyone turned it in. You heard the teacher rummage through a box of forgotten belongings, emerging with a solemn expression, "I'm sorry, no one turned in a notebook." 

Your shoulders dropped slightly and you thanked her before quickly making your way to the classroom where your eighth period class was located. Walking into the classroom, your eyes anxiously scanned around the room, and you almost cried again upon seeing the little black notebook sitting on your desk. Relief washed over you as you hurriedly snatched up the notebook, clutching it to your chest.

It was still here, safe and sound.

But then, a flicker of doubt crept into your mind - had someone read it? Or did they just pick it up and put it on your desk for you? You shake your head in disbelief as you put the notebook back into your bag and begin your walk home. Your phone had been going off since the last bell rang, but you didn't bother to check it, already knowing that they were messages from your friends who had made plans to get ice cream after school. You'd talk to them tomorrow, you needed time to yourself. 

Walking home, you couldn't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions. The sun had begun to set, casting a warm orange glow across the sidewalk. The familiar sights and sounds of your neighborhood seemed distant as your mind continued to replay everything that happened today. The events of the day had left you feeling vulnerable and exposed, and you once again thought about someone potentially reading your innermost thoughts. You arrived at your front door, feeling a mix of exhaustion and anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you inserted the key and opened the door, stepping into the comforting familiarity of your home. The silence enveloped you like a soft blanket, soothing the inner chaos that had plagued you most of the day. 

You made your way to your room and immediately collapsed onto your bed, grateful for the privacy it offered. The weight of the day's events pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe. Retrieving your small black notebook and favorite pen from your bag, you sit up to record today's entry in your diary. As you flipped through the notebook, searching for a blank page, you came across handwriting that was both unfamiliar yet strangely familiar at the same time, causing your heart to stop.

This wasn't your book. 

You furrowed your brow, confusion and curiosity intertwining in your mind.

How did this notebook end up on your desk?

You cautiously flipped through the pages, your eyes scanning the words before you. It was filled with beautiful prose and heartfelt musings, but they were not your own. Each word felt like a glimpse into someone else's soul. As you continued to read, your own name caught your attention. It was written delicately, in most of the entries, as if it was a whisper on the page. Your heart pounded in your chest as you read the words that followed. The way this person described you, your quirks, your smile, and the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed. It was an ode to your existence, penned by an unknown admirer. You couldn't believe what you were reading.

This notebook was one that matched the contents in yours, except it was about you.

Overwhelmed by the emotions flooding through you, you sat in stunned silence. The realization that someone had been writing about you with such depth and appreciation, the way you wrote about Beomgyu, left you feeling a mix of emotions.

You continued reading, even though you knew you shouldn't, a sense of longing and familiarity washed over you. The way this person described your interactions, the shared moments and inside jokes, it all resonated deeply within your soul. Oddly enough, reading this notebook felt like flipping through the pages of your own diary.  The realization caused goosebumps to form, trailing down your arms.

This was Beomgyu's notebook. 

With trembling hands, you slowly closed the notebook and carefully reached over to retrieve your bag.

As you were trying to put it away, a photograph slipped out from between the pages. You immediately recognized the photo as one taken last week. Beomgyu had joined you for an evening walk and brought his polaroid camera along.

As you strolled along the Han River, a kind stranger offered to take a picture of the two of you together. The stranger had taken a few, but this one in particular was beautiful. It captured the essence of that moment perfectly, the way Beomgyu's laughter lit up his face and the way your eyes sparkled with genuine happiness. Neither of you were purposely posing for the picture, but that's what made it feel authentic.

You held the photo delicately in your hands, studying the smiles on both your faces. It was evident how happy you were together, and yet, you couldn't help but wonder why Beomgyu had kept this notebook a secret from you. Probably for the exact same reason you kept yours a secret from him. Closing your eyes, you tried to process the new whirlwind of emotions that engulfed you. The discovery of Beomgyu's hidden admiration for you felt like stumbling upon a forbidden treasure. A myriad of questions swirled around in your mind and it felt overwhelming.

Amidst all the questions and overwhelming emotions, one thing was undeniable: you liked Beomgyu and he liked you too.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you've been staring at the closed notebook in your lap for what feels like hours. The buzzing of your phone drew your attention away from the emotional whirlwind that started during lunch. With a heavy sigh, you grabbed your phone and saw that it was flooded with notifications from your friends. They ranged from asking you what ice cream flavor you wanted to the everlasting debate on mint-chocolate. The most recent message was from Taehyun, expressing his concern for you and letting you know where they were in case you decided to join them. As you scrolled through the notifications, you noticed that none of them were from Beomgyu. 

Your heart sank a little at the realization that Beomgyu hadn't reached out to you. It had been hours since you had discovered his notebook, and the weight of the unanswered questions was becoming unbearable. Why hadn't he said anything? Was he waiting for you to say something? Taking a deep breath, you decided that enough was enough. You couldn't keep dwelling on these uncertainties and waiting for Beomgyu to make the first move. If you wanted answers, you had to be brave enough to seek them out yourself. 

When you glanced at the clock, you saw that it was the time you typically go for your evening stroll. You grabbed his notebook and slipped it into a canvas bag, carefully stepping outside. The evening air was crisp, carrying with it the scent of blooming flowers and a sense of anticipation. The streets were bathed in the warm glow of streetlights, casting long shadows on the pavement as you walked. You arrived at the location Taehyun had sent you, and through the window of the ice cream parlor, you saw them sitting at a table in the far corner.

Your friends looked up in surprise as you entered the ice cream parlor, a mix of concern and curiosity evident on their faces. Taehyun, ever perceptive, noticed the canvas bag slung over your shoulder and the determined look in your eyes.

"You made it!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with relief. 

"We were worried about you."

Taking a seat, you responded with a small smile, though your mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Beomgyu. Your eyes searched the crowded parlor, hoping to catch a glimpse of him somewhere amidst the sea of faces. But he was nowhere to be found. 

Lost in your thoughts, you barely noticed when Yeonjun nudged your arm gently. 

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked, concern etched into his features.

You blinked, pulling yourself back to the present moment.

 "I'm... I'm fine," you replied, your voice betraying a hint of uncertainty.

"Um, where's Beomgyu?" you asked, mentally facepalming at your voice faltering slightly.

Yeonjun exchanged a glance with Taehyun before answering, his voice laced with sympathy.

 "He... he left a little while ago."

Trying to hide your disappointment, you mustered a smile and nodded, pretending that it didn't bother you as much as it did. 

"Oh, I see," you replied softly. 

"Did he say where he was going?"

Taehyun cleared his throat, exchanging another glance with Yeonjun before answering. 

"No, he didn't mention anything. He just said he had something important to take care of and left in a hurry."

Something important?

Your mind raced with possibilities, then your eyes widened in realization.

"Wait, what time did he leave?" you asked, a sense of urgency creeping into your voice.

 Soobin checked his watch and furrowed his brows. 

"I think it was around thirty minutes ago," he replied, his eyes filled with concern. 

"Is everything okay?"

You stood up abruptly, the canvas bag slipping off your shoulder and hitting the table with a soft thud.

"I need to go," you announced. 

Without waiting for a response, you hastily picked up the canvas bag and rushed out of the ice cream parlor. This morning, Beomgyu had asked to accompany you on your evening walk, and you had agreed to meet at the park.

That park. 

Heart pounding, you picked up your pace as you made your way towards the park. It was a familiar route, one that you had walked countless times together with him. The anticipation in your chest was overwhelming, and all you could hope was that he was there. 

As you entered the park, you scanned the area, searching for any sign of him. Your eyes fell upon a figure sitting on a bench near the pond and relief washed over you as you recognized the familiar silhouette. Beomgyu was there, his head bowed down, engrossed in deep thoughts. You approached him cautiously, not wanting to startle him.

"Beomgyu," you called out softly, your voice carrying both unease and longing.

Beomgyu looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes as he met your gaze. His expression quickly transformed into one of relief, and he stood up, a mix of emotions crossing his face.

"I didn't think you'd come," he said, his voice soft. 

"I had to," you replied, your own voice trembling slightly. 

You pulled his little black notebook out of your bag and clutched it tightly. 

"I found this," you started, holding out the notebook towards him, "when I went back to school to look for mine."

Beomgyu reached out and took the notebook from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment. His fingers traced the worn edges, the pages filled with his words and thoughts. He looked up at you, his eyes shimmering with unspoken emotions.

"I was hoping you would. I left it there on purpose," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I wanted you to find it, to know how I felt." 

"Then... then that means-" before you could continue, he pulled your notebook out of his bag and nodded.

Yeah," Beomgyu interrupted, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I found yours." 

As you reached out to take your notebook from Beomgyu's hands, your fingers brushed against each other again, and a tingling sensation coursed through your veins.

"Did you-" you started to ask, but then stopped yourself.

The answer was already clear. If he didn't read your book, he wouldn't have left his for you to find. The unspoken understanding between you and Beomgyu hung in the air, as if time had frozen in that moment. Without a word, Beomgyu stood up and took a step closer to you. The air crackled with anticipation as he reached out, his hand gently reaching out to hold yours. His touch was tender, a tenderness that spoke volumes. 

"I've been wanting to tell you for so long," he whispered, his voice barely audible. 

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you found yourself unable to form a coherent response. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.

"I've wanted to tell you too," you finally managed to say. 

Beomgyu's eyes searched yours, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand as he leaned closer. 

"Do you remember that party? The one we kissed at?" he asked softly, his voice filled with nostalgia and vulnerability. 

"How could I forget?" you replied softly, your gaze locked with his.

"That was my very first kiss."

"When you told me you'd like the real me, that's when I knew. Since then, it's always been you " he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. 

"You've liked me for that long? But then-" you cut yourself off, realizing it wasn't the appropriate moment to bring it up.

Beomgyu smiled as if he knew what you were going to ask, "all the other boys liked her, so I followed the crowd. Stupid, I know." 

"I've felt the same way," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"I've always seen you, Beomgyu. I've always loved you. It just took me a long time to realize and then accept it." 

Beomgyu's eyes softened, relief and adoration shining in them. 

"I'm sorry it took me so long," you murmured.

"Don't apologize," Beomgyu whispered, his voice filled with delicacy. 

A gentle breeze rustled the leaves around you, as if nature itself was acknowledging the significance of this moment.

Beomgyu leaned in closer, his lips just inches away from yours. 

"Can I ask something else?" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. 

You nodded, anticipation coursing through your veins.

"I didn't get to kiss you that second time, can I make up for it now?" 

The question hung in the air as you looked into Beomgyu's eyes and felt your heart race. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and you nodded, giving him permission to make up for that missed opportunity.

Beomgyu's eyes lit up with delight and nervousness as he closed the remaining distance between you. His lips met yours in a gentle, sweet kiss. Time seemed to stand still as you melted into each other, the world around you fading away. It was a moment of pure bliss, a culmination of emotions and desires that had been building up for far too long. The kiss was everything, full of promises and possibilities. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him, while yours found their way around his neck, tangling in his soft hair. 

And then, as if the universe had conspired with your group of friends, the sound of clapping and cheers caused you to pull away. You glanced over Beomgyu's shoulder and saw your friends standing there, huge smiles on their faces, applauding the two of you.

Taehyun and Yeonjun were grinning like they had just won the lottery, and Soobin and Kai pretending they had tears welling up in their eyes, wiping them away. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Beomgyu turned to look at your friends, his cheeks flushed from the kiss. 

"Guess we've been caught," he mumbled and pulled you closer.

Your friends approached, still clapping and cheering, their laughter echoing through the park.

Taehyun gave you a playful wink while Yeonjun threw an arm around Soobin's shoulders, teasing him about his "emotional" display.

Kai, always the romantic, applauded the loudest and shouted, "Finally! Took you both long enough!"

You blushed looking everywhere but your friends , feeling a mixture of embarrassment and joy. Beomgyu squeezed your hand reassuringly, a silent reminder that this was real, that it was happening.

As the laughter subsided, Yeonjun cleared his throat and glanced at the others mischievously. 

"Well, I think it's time for us to give these two some privacy," he said with a sly grin, playfully nudging Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu chuckled, a hint of pink dusting his cheeks.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," he replied, his gaze never leaving yours. 

Your friends exchanged knowing glances before making their way towards the park's exit, leaving the two of you alone. The park was now quiet, the only sounds being the soft rustling of leaves. The tranquility of the moment wrapped around you like a comforting embrace, allowing you to fully soak in the reality of what had just transpired.

Beomgyu took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. The intensity of his gaze made your heart skip a beat, and you felt a wave of vulnerability wash over you. This was uncharted territory, a new beginning for both of you. 

"What now?" you asked.

Beomgyu reached out, his hand trembling slightly, and gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch sends shivers down your spine, igniting a spark deep within your soul. It was a gesture so simple yet so intimate, conveying a depth of emotion that words could never capture.

"Well first," Beomgyu whispered softly, "I think I should ask you properly."

"Ask me what?" you replied, your voice barely a whisper, afraid to break the delicate spell that had woven itself around the two of you. 

Beomgyu took a deep breath and looked into your eyes, his gaze unwavering.

His voice quivered slightly, “Can I be your boyfriend? Will you let me love you and cherish you, like you deserve?" 

The vulnerability and sincerity in his voice made your heart swell with love for him.

You reached out to cup his face gently, your fingertips grazing his cheek.

"Yes," you whispered, "as long as you'll let me love you the same."

He pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you as if he never wanted to let go. The weight of his feelings enveloped you, filling every corner of your being with warmth and contentment. You pressed your cheek against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

"Just so you know," you murmured, "I still plan on writing you love letters like in the book."

"Will you send them to me this time?" he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Of course," you replied, a giggle escaping your lips. 

"I'll send them straight to your heart."

a/n: thank you for reading, I really hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did while writing it! I've been working on this story since October of last year and it's crazy how the idea stemmed from a little joke I made. As always, reblogs and comments are appreciated and thank you again for reading!

Beomgyu Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[morganbritton132]

I feel like Steve's non-Upside Down friends definitely have a group chat for all their Steve-based conspiracy theories that's just filled with really off the wall excuses and tidbits that Steve's said - how panicked is the government agent-babysitter about it?

The first-year teachers definitely do, for sure!

The chat was originally called ‘The Steve Harrington Experience’ because every conversation with the man is something else, but they ended up changing it after Kathy pointed out that it made it seem like they all experienced Steve Harrington, ‘Sexually, u know?’

“Yes, Kathy…” Marissa said in an exasperated voice note. She must be driving. “You didn’t need to spell it out. We’re changing it.”  

‘Not saying I’d be opposed 2 the experience,’ Kathy added helpfully in the group chat. ‘U see those trousers he wore yesterday. Not much left to the imagination there.’

‘Thank you, Kathy.’

The group chat was changed to the ‘Support Group for David’s Obsession’ which is just, haha. Funny. David is not obsessed with Steve Harrington. He just isn’t.

Sure, nothing about the man makes any sense.

And yeah, maybe David talks about that fact a little too much. Maybe he has asked the group chat probing questions about Christmas lights. Maybe he even made a dentist appointment with Edward Harrington, DDS just to make sure he wasn’t the Eddie Harrington they knew.

He wasn’t obsessed. He was just due for a cleaning.

The other day in the parking lot after work, Steve asked if David could see the license plate number on the white 2015 Mazda CX-3 that was circling the block. David read the number off for him and Steve wrote it down. He didn’t explain anything.

David texted the group chat about it, ‘Maybe he’s a spy?’

‘Do you think spy organizations sent out a lot of epileptic agents with service animals?’

‘Maybe the epilepsy is a cover.’

Kathy replied, ‘It’s not.’

David kinda hates how he only tunes in to the staff meeting about Career Day when Steve mentions that Erica can’t come. Something about pissing off her constituents by favoring a community in a state she doesn’t represent. Yada, yada, yada, “Dustin’s still coming though.”

“Dustin,” David repeats, feeling the amused way that Marissa is looking at him. He can’t even be bothered by Jordan hiding a smile in her hand. “Your brother is coming to Career Day?”

Steve beams, “Yeah, man. He comes every year.”

Kathy was a second-year teacher that was definitely here during last year’s Career Day. She could have mentioned it. David can’t even fully digest this information when Steve knocks his knuckles against the table and snaps his fingers, “Oh! My ex works for the paper. I’ll see if they can come.”

David somehow gets roped into finalizing the rest of the list of speakers for Career Day (i.e. they need to confirm if Steve’s people are going to be there and Cindy didn’t want to do it). When he stops by Steve’s classroom at the end of the day, he is surprised to find that Steve is not alone.

There’s low music playing from the corner of the room now that the students have gone home and Steve is at his desk grading papers. Eddie is standing at the board, drawing a dragon-like creature with dry-erase markers.

Eddie is humming along to the song on the radio, occasionally brushing his fingers along Steve’s shoulders when he reaches for a new color. It’s a cozy moment and he almost hates to interrupt, but David has leftovers in his fridge that he wants to get home to.

He knocks against the doorframe, “Steve, you have a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Steve asks, leaning back in his chairs far enough that his head brushes against Eddie’s back. “Babe, you remember David from the cookout?”

“The history teacher,” Eddie hums, distracted by his drawing. He erases a line of red from the fangs with his finger. “Stevie’s saying great things about you, kid.”

“I – wow, that’s – thanks! It means a lot! I, uh. I’m finishing up some things for Cindy and she just needs a confirmation on your people for Career….” David trails off when Steve makes a sound between his teeth like a hiss and gives him a big wide-eyed look. “…Day?”

Steve’s wide-eyed expression forms quickly into an innocent smile when Eddie turns to look at him, “Babe-“

“Career Day?” Eddie asked scandalized, hand to chest. “Career Day is coming up, Steven? I had no idea.”

Steve’s eyes flicker away from Eddie’s over to David’s and he says, “Yes. Yep, they’ll be here with bells on. Henderson and Wheeler. Just them.”

“Wheeler?” Eddie manages to sound even more scandalized. “Stevie, you – you invited Wheeler to Career Day and not your own husband? I have a career!”

“Yes, you do,” Steve says in a voice that’s a little too ‘second grade teacher’ to not be a little bit insulting. “And you’re amazing, and I love you, but they wanted people with career paths that didn’t start so…infamous?”

David starts inching out of the room because as much as he wants to know more about Steve, he doesn’t want to witness an argument he started. He’s almost to the door when Eddie says, “I worked for my success.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve sighs like he’s remembering something awful. “If only there wasn’t a mob.”

David is out the door when he hears that and he pauses for only a second before pulling out his phone like, ‘what the fuck, guys????’

[xxblairexxss]

Flushed

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader

Theme : Angst / fluff

Requested!

Your attempt to move on from your ex, Charles went terribly wrong.

Based on Google, the symptoms they mentioned were dizziness, abdominal pain, visual problem, trembling and reduced sense of control so I wrote based on it. I’m sorry if it wasn’t accurate! Thank you for the request, anon! I hope it lives up to your expectation!

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“Excuse me?!”

You jolted awake when your friend came bursting into the room with a bunch of chocolates and chips in her arms. Your hair was looking all disheveled, your eyes were red and puffy.

“What?” You brought the tissue paper to your face to blow on your nose before laying back down, tugging on the quilt to cover back your entire body.

“Y/N! It’s been months! You can’t seriously still crying over this. I mean, I get it, break up is sad but is this all what you gonna be doing?”

“I miss him!” Your voice became a muffle under the quilt and you heard Y/F/N groaned as she pulled the quilt away.

“Then call him. Tell him you miss him.”

“Should I?” You looked at her in surprise. She had always been telling you to move on, to just find someone else so you were expecting her to say the same thing over again. “No, I can’t do that. See, he doesn’t miss me as much as I do. I’m the one suffering here!”

“How do you know the break up doesn’t effect him?” She took a seat in front of you and went through all the chips she had bought with her. Her brows raised in excitement as she picked a salt & vinegar flavoured chips, offering you one when she opened it, to which you took and crunch on it.

“Because he doesn’t look like it? Have you seen his Instagram?” You scooted closer and dipped your hand into the chips packet to get another one.

“He’s a freaking Formula 1 driver. Have you ever seen Lewis Hamilton post a crying picture of him when he go through a break up?” She rolled her eyes, looking very much done with you. “What about the guy you were talking to last week?”

“Oh, I stop replying to him. Got an ick. But! I met this other guy.” You took your phone to click on the picture of the guy you were talking about and showed it to Y/F/N. “What do you think?”

“Let me see.” She took your phone away and stared, more like analysing the picture. “Sketchy. I would say no.”

“Why! He’s cute though.” You took the phone back and scrolled to a different picture. “See?”

“Oh, so now you are all interested with other guys just when I asked you to call your ex? I swear you be doing the exact opposite of what I told you.”

“It’s not like it was serious or anything. I still miss him. None of the guys I talked with could make me feel the same way like he did.” You turned off your phone and laid down by Y/F/N’s side, eyes trailing the details of your room for the hundredth times.

“Why don’t you try and go out with him?” She scowled at you jokingly when you turned to look at her. “Not Charles, idiot. That guy. Who knows a proper date could make you stop thinking about the Ferrari guy. One step at a time?”

“Do you think so?” You sat up and gazed at her in hesitation.

“I would prefer to see my best friend all dress up and going out on a date so I could hear some tea instead of hearing you wail over the same guy for another month.”

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“Too much?”

The date didn’t happen until another week after your conversation with Y/F/N as you weren’t exchanging texts everyday with the guy, Alan, and he didn’t mention anything about a date until the weekend arrived. You were actually contemplating to say yes because you had a hunch of something but you weren’t sure what it was and decided to dismissed it as ‘a feeling everyone gets when they try to move on from their exes’.

“Too much? Are you really asking me that? You look absolutely phenomenal!” Y/F/N walked to the dressing table and picked a few shades of lipsticks. “Try this one. It’s gonna pop your look even more.”

“I feel like I’m betraying Charles for this.” You closed the cap of the lipstick once you put it on and fixed the smudge on your eyeliner with your picky finger.

“Stop talking about Charles! You are on to a new adventure and a new dic–“

“Okay, I’m off!” You immediately stood up after applying perfume on your insides wrists and neck, walked back to the bad to get your handbag along with you.

“I just finished the longest shift in the world! Don’t wake me up and keep the tea hot until I wake up tomorrow, okay? Enjoy your date and go crush that dic–“

“Stop it!” You yelled back and slammed the door.

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“You look beautiful.”

“Hi!” You stopped when you were by the side of the table that he had sat. He looked exactly like how you pictured him. Fancy and well formed would be the words to describe him. He had told you beforehand that he would arrive a little early to the restaurant, asking you if you would mind about it to which you said no because it didn’t feel right to make him wait for you.

He greeted you with a hug and you were slightly taken aback when he ran his fingers through your hair, sniffing it as he pulled away. “You smell nice.”

“Oh, thank you.” You smiled back and took a seat as he pulled your chair out.

“I was actually going to wait but the waiter recommended a drink so I ordered it for you. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No, not at all. Thank you.” You placed your small bag on your lap and took a sip from the drink. It looked like a pinã colada so you were expecting a sweet taste on your tongue but this one had a weird smell and tasted salty. “Wow, it’s really strong!” You cringed as the drink hit your throat, thinking it could be a twist drink menu from the restaurant.

“Is it? Should I order a different one? Excuse–“

“No, no. It’s totally fine.” You waved your hand and he retreated his hand from calling the waiter.

“So, what’s up? Wait,” He shook his head and laughed in disbelief. “That was really bad. You are so beautiful it made me speechless for a while.”

He carried the whole conversations and you knew he would. He was also the one who had been picking new topics for you to talk about through texts. He looked exactly like his pictures, yes, but the way he approached certain topics were somewhat interesting, you would say. You saw the way he talked about women and though it was very subtle, he sounded haughty but you weren’t gonna jump into conclusion as maybe, just maybe, he had a bad day today so some of his emotions were conveyed through his way of thinking.

But it was hard for you to deny the discomfited feelings when he kept on touching your hand whenever you put it on the table and you had to continuously taking a sip from your drink just so it gave you a reason to pull your hand away.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah? I’m– I’m sorry I got distracted. What were you saying?” You shut your eyes as you felt yourself spacing out.

“I was asking if you ever had a pet.”

“Yeah? Yeah! I used to have a dog but he passed away like, last year. I’m sorry but I think– I am not sure– but–” You placed your fingers on your temple area and applied a pressure on it. You realised that you started feeling the room spinning around when you focused on him but everything around him swayed, making you nauseous. Everything he said went from clear words to a mumble to nothing at all. Your ears were ringing so bad they were no longer registering anything he said and you only see the way his mouth moves over and over, as if you had put it on mute.

“Is there anything wrong?”

“Yeah, I don’t– I don’t feel really good.” You winced from the pain on your head and took his hand as he stretched out his arm.

“Do you want me to bring you home?” He stood up and for a split second, you saw a smirk. You realised you had been spacing out, disoriented every second now. You didn’t know why, but you knew something was wrong. It couldn’t be from your food as you never had any food allergy. You felt completely fine before you left the house, exhilarated, even. But the little smirk that he had divulged as he offered you a hand sealed everything together.

You quickly retracted your hand and struggled to push the chair back, feeling suffocated as if it was trapping you. “I– I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” You took your bag with you and tumbled when you tried to walk past him.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to walk you there and wait for you?” He held your waist, even pulled you closer as you felt his breath on your neck.

“No, it’s– it’s okay. I’ll be back. I– yeah.” You pushed him away and saw he trailed his eyes from your neck down to your chest, making you grapple to breath. Stepping aside, you held the wall as you took a few steps, leaning against it as you shut your eyes, trying to shake off the dizziness.

“Ma’am, are you okay?”

“Yeah– yeah, I’m fine.” You gave a little smile and continued walking to the bathroom, nearly toppled over a couple of times. You could feel the eyes on you from the workers and customers and there it was, again, the smirk from Alan as he looked at you from the table, hands in his pocket, looking full of pride.

The bathroom was empty, which was a relief and you scurried inside one of the stall and clumsily tried to lock the door, your hands shaking as it felt as if someone was chasing after you. You were now on the floor, your legs gave away as soon as your felt, not safe, but shielded from whatever it was outside.

You tried to unlock your phone but your blurry eyesight and trembling hands made it hard which caused your phone to lock itself from the repeated wrong passcode inputs. “No, no, no, no. Please.” You pressed everything that appeared on the screen and it was finally ringing to which you quickly placed it to your ear. “Please pick up. Please, please.”

The ringing stopped and you were greeted with a soft breathing sound from the other hand. You took in a shaky breath and wiped your tears with the back of your hand. “H–hello?”

“Y/N?” It was Charles.

“I– I don’t know– I don’t–“ Your words were stuck in your throat and you couldn’t stop sobbing so everything became a mess. None of your words were spoken, every sob you took made you feel more and more breathless.

“Y/N? Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. Where are you?”

“I’m at La Table and– I think– something in my drink– my head hurts.” You mumbled and pulled your phone away where you heard footsteps coming.

“Y/N, hey, Y/N, listen. I’m coming to you, alright. Stay on the phone with me. Can you do that?” You nodded but he was expecting to her your voice. “I need words, Y/N. Say something.”

“Yes…”

“I’m heading to my car. Can you tell me where you are?”

“I’m in the bathroom. Can you please–” You flinched when you heard a knock coming from outside your stall.

“Baby? It’s me.” It was Alan. Then came a woman’s voice after his. “Ma’am, we thought you weren’t feeling well so we brought your boyfriend.” The knocking sound came again.

You were trembling so hard that the phone nearly slipped off your hand. You pushed on your leg to scoot as far as you can from the door. The bathroom was big, bigger than usual but it still made you feel like as if there wasn’t enough room for you.

“Charles– I’m– I’m scared.” You whispered, and flinched when they knocked on your stall again. “They– he is outside.”

“I’m 5 minutes away, Y/N. I promise. Fuck!” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel when the traffic light turned red before he could pass.

You turned you head to the door when you heard the clicking sound as the door came unlocking, the handle being pushed down from the outside. “Ma’am, we are unlocking the door for you.” The worker had an extra keys and they had permission from Alan, which they assumed was your boyfriend and guardian to unlock the door and you scurried deeper against the wall. Your phone had now fallen on the floor and long forgotten.

“Baby,” Alan crouched down on his knees and brushed the strands of your hair away, one finger trailing down to your neck and you shook your head in urgency, shutting your eyes and you trembled in fear.

“No, no. I– please, no.”

“What do you mean? I’m your boyfriend. I’m taking you home.” He pulled you by you wrist so your hand were no longer covering your face but you kept your eyes shut, too scared to look at him in the face.

“Look at me, baby.” He gripped on your chin roughly, jerking you which made you opened your eyes in fear. You saw he was looking back, checking if the worker was still there before bringing his face to your ear. “Behave, or I’m gonna make it worse for you.” You felt his tongue under your ear and it caused you to shiver with feart.

“I– go home– I wanna go home.” You saw he pulled a face, nodding as if he was mocking you.

“I can’t wait to go home too, baby.” He bobbed your head, his grip on your face still stayed.

“Move.”

“What?” You heard he said and as you shut your eyes, refusing to look at him in the eyes any longer. You were no longer felt any force on your cheeks but you could still feel his presence near you, in front of you.

“I said move, bastard!” Charles pulled his back by clenching roughly on the back of his collar, pulling his out of the stall, away from you.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!”

He ignored the man and immediately went in front of you. You had your face hidden against your knees. “Y/N,” He timidly tried to hold your trembling body, hands went to grip on your shoulders. His touch was different though you weren’t aware of your surrounding. The significant difference between the touches made stop quivering a little. “Y/N, princess, it’s me.”

“Please– please don’t leave me.” You unable to form any words, slowly lifting your head to seek comfort from whoever in front of you when you found yourself in someone’s embrace as Charles pulled you into a hug, the familiar comfort inundated your heart when his arms tightly wrapped around your shaky frame.

“I’m not, I’m not. I’m right here, Y/N. I won’t leave you.” You didn’t see it but when he stroked his hand on your back, it was shaky. It felt like he had been holding his breath ever since he received your call and now only could he finally filled his lung with air. He didn’t know and hadn’t properly check if you were hurt but you were in his arms, no longer a phone call away where he could only imagine the worst.

“I am so sleepy– I can’t– everything hurts.”

His hand went to stroke your hair as he shushed you, realising that you still couldn’t speak properly. “It’s okay, princess. It’s okay.“

“Who the fuck are you? Let me handle her.”

“Lay your hand on her and I’ll fucking break it. ” Charles pushed the guy away, sending him tumbling back. “Can you stand up? Y/N, hey, look at me. I need you to stand up. Can you do that for me?”

Charles patted you on your cheeks when he saw you were spacing out, your eyes getting droopy. “Fuck it.” He went from crouching to kneeling down as he wrapped his arms around your back and your knees, standing up and your head was leaning against his neck.

“Head hurts. My– stomach.” Your words became a mumble against his skin as you were falling asleep and he leaned his cheek against your forehead, trying to reassure you.

“I know, Y/N. I know.” He took your phone and bag, hanging it on his arm before trying to walk out from the bathroom.

“Y/N–“

“Go fuck yourself.” Charles pushed the guy by his elbow, causing him to crash against the sink. “I’m not done with you yet.”

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When you woke up, you were in an oversized shirt, Charles’s shirt. Your skin didn’t feel moist from all those skincare and makeup products and you had a gel-cooling pad on your forehead. Your head was still throbbing but it was better than what you felt last night.

“Y/N?” Your turned your body to the back, facing the door of the bedroom and saw Charles walked in. “No, no. Just lay down.” He straighten his arms to halt you from sitting up and he crouched down by your side of the bed so he could meet your eyes. He the. caressed the side of your face, letting his hand so stay cupping on your cheek as he gently stroked the temple of your head. “You scared me a lot. Does your head still hurt?” The warmth of his hand, the comfort of his gaze, the reassuring smile could pull you back to sleep. Long gone all the insecurity and perilous feelings from yesterday. You felt sheltered and secured just from his touch. The touch that you had been yearning.

“No, not anymore.” You smiled at him back taking his hand in yours and brushed your lips on the palm. “What’s wrong with your hand?” You frowned and trailed the cuts on his knuckles, stopping when you see him grimaced.

“I got into a fight. It’s nothing, princess.” You haven’t heard the nickname for the longest time ever but it still gave you butterfly.

“A fight? With who?”

“No one. It’s not important.”

“Can you lay down with me?” You saw he blinked, looking at you as if he was asking you to repeat the words.

“Is it– is it okay? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Please?” Charles gqve in when he saw your look, almost pleading and stood up to get on the bed. You scooted closer, your head finding its way to its home, against his chest as you felt his fingers playing with your hair.

“Why did you do it?” Charles asked, breaking the silence in the room.

“Do what?”

“The date. Why did you go on a date?”

“I–“ You drew in a breath. “I was trying to move on from you.”

“Why?” His hand is now on your back and you felt your shirt tugged a little as if he was trying to snake his hand under it but held himself and went back to stroke your back, hand against your shirt.

“Because I miss you.” You fixed your head on his chest, your legs are all tangled up with his.

He didn’t say anything else and you felt like you were chagrined, feeling rejected, even slightly ashamed for being too blunt with your feelings. You knew you shouldn’t have said that. He probably had been talking to someone else by now.

“I miss you too.”

“Hm?” You tilted your head when you heard his voice cut all the thoughts in your head.

“I actually miss you a lot, princess.” He looked down and beamed when he met your eyes on him.

“But you don’t look like it.” You muttered, making him chuckle.

“What do you mean?”

“Your Instagram, it doesn’t look our break up effect you.” He chuckled even more and leaned his head against your hair. Your voice was so full of diffidence he found it adorable.

“My Instagram doesn’t speak for my feelings, silly. I miss you, a lot. I always wanted to call you but I couldn’t, scared if you would find it annoying. When I got a call from you last night, I thought you were gonna said something, anything about us but I heard you whimpered and my blood ran cold. God knows how many speeding and disobey sign traffic tickets I have gotten by now.”

You giggled and turned yourself facing him, your hands fondled with his chin, feeling the stubble poked against your skin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even know I was calling you. I didn’t want to call you, actually because I wasn’t sure if you would come because, you know, we broke up.”

“We broke up but you are still important to me, Y/N. You always will. I would even take the damn flight if you called me from a different country. Just– don’t call me when you are on a date. No, no more date for you.”

“Why? How am I able to move on if I can’t go on a date, Charles. I can’t keep on crying over you.” You shook your head, looking dejected. You needed to move on. That was what Y/F/N had been telling you. You couldn’t keep on hoping for something that you, yourself didn’t even know if it was worth the wait.

“You don’t have to move on. I’ll be taking you out on your next date. And your next next date. And your upcoming date. All of your dates, basically.”

You sat up almost instantly, hand was still on his chest and you blinked. “What? What do you mean? Are you doing this just because you felt bad for what happened to me last night because if that was the reason, then it’s totally fine. I–“

You felt his lips on yours. It was the kind of kiss that was enough to speak for all of the unspoken words to which he didn’t even have to say anything else. The kind of kiss that erased all your insecurities, all unanswered questions you had been keeping in your head. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours. “It means I still love you, princess.” His lips is back on yours as he pulled away, again. “A lot.” Lips were back to mould against yours. “And I don’t want to see you go out on a date with someone else. No more silly date, okay?”

✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando @ohthemisssery @ru-kru @tastebaldwin @f1obessed @aundercover @love4lando

let me know if you would like to be removed or added to my tag list! or if I missed anyone!

Wanted to also point these out. The other symptoms mentioned were difficulty to speak and slurring words, hence why none of the words she said made any sense. Feeling confused, where the reader asked Alan to bring her home and memory loss, where she didn’t ask about what happened last night since she couldn’t remember large sections of it. Hope it makes sense! 🫶🏻

[justmeinadaze]

Ghost In The Machine (Eddie X You)

A/N: I wrote this a few days ago because I need it more than anything rn.

Title is based off of SZA's song "Ghost In The Machine".

"I give a fuck, I just wanna fuck, eat, sleep, love, happy Can you make me happy? Can you keep me happy?

Can you distract me from all the disaster? Can you touch on me and not call me after? Can you hate on me and mask it with laughter? Can you lead me to the ark? What's the password?

I need humanity You're like humanity"

They do text near the end. Eddie's texts will be in red.

Warnings: Daddy Dom Eddie X Stripper Sub (slight bratty) Fem Reader, SMUT, dirty talk, dry humping, phone smut, slight degrading if you squint, choking), Eddie is kinda mean at first, traumas are alluded to but not expanded on (Child abuse; bad past relationships), light FLUFF with my usual dash of the ANGST.

Word Count: 4060

Being asked to perform at parties like this wasn’t new for you and the other girls. Having the manager of a famous band reach out to your company for some “entertainment” wasn’t odd either. What was odd was that you were told Corroded Coffin had four band members and right now you were looking at three. They seemed content with the girls they had grinding and kissing on their lap so you decided to take a look around the mansion style home you guys had been called to. 

It was extremely beautiful with a bunch of rooms displaying different things. Your fingers grazed the wall at the bottom of the bands framed platinum and gold albums. Turning into what you assumed was a game room, you found a billiards table and a PlayStation with a mini bar in the corner. Around the area, shelfs prominently showed off the band’s awards and accolades with MANY pictures of them in different places. 

As you walked further down the hall, you passed an open-door smelling smoke and hearing light strumming of a guitar. Pausing, you took a couple of steps back to peer into the room, finding that missing fourth member.

He had headphones on over his long, wavy hair as a half-finished cigarette dangled from his lips. His eyes were closed as his fingers ran across the instruments strings as it leaned against his bare chest. His jeaned leg and barefoot tapped to a beat as he listened to his music. 

“Jesus Christ!”, he exclaimed as his eyes shot open feeling a change in the atmosphere. “What the fuck are you doing over here?! You girls are supposed to stay in the goddamn living room.”

“Hey there’s no reason to be rude! Your friends were preoccupied with the other ladies so I thought I’d look around.”

“Uh huh. To steal shit?”

“No! To look. I got bored, ok?!”

“Hm. A hooker who’s bored. That’s something I haven’t heard before.” His tone is dripping with mocking as he rises to his feet. 

“That’s no reason for you to be a fucking asshole!”

“You watch your mouth when you talk to me, little girl. I can make sure you and your ‘company’ never get another job again.”

“Oh, Mr. Tough Rockstar is oh no scary. Fuck you. I’ve handled way worse clients than the number 5 band on the billboard charts.”

The man’s held tilted to the side as he finally drank you in. You were visually different than what he expected when his friends had suggested reaching out to an agency to have some women come over to celebrate with since they were nominated for another Grammy. Eddie didn’t care about that kind of thing; he just wanted to play music. When he heard the car pull up, he immediately disappeared to his room to practice and write some new songs. Not that he wasn’t interested in “entertaining a woman”. This metalhead liked a challenge and he enjoyed even more a strong woman that wouldn’t just cater to his every whim. He didn’t want a woman who would get down on her knees no questions asked. Eddie wanted one who would tell him to fuck off but then after a few consensual activities would be dripping and begging for his cock.

Women were offered to him and his friends constantly. He wanted something he had to earn so that way when she finally submitted, it was all the more sweet.

“What’s your name?”, he asked in a much softer tone.

“Y/N. You?”

“Are you asking to be polite or do you genuinely not know who the guitarist of the band who is number five on the billboard charts?”

“Do you always make things this complicated?”

“Yes.” When he grins at you, you can’t help but smile back.

“Some of the other ladies find catering to a man’s ego really gets them going. I find it’s better to ask them questions, Mr. Munson, especially since most of our clients think we don’t care about them.”

“Do you? Care I mean.”

“Sometimes.”, you shrug. 

“You’re honest. I like that.”

“I don’t really see the point in lying if I’m probably never going to see you again.”

“Do you WANT to see me again?”

This time it was your turn to tilt your head. He said that with a lot of the sass he had been giving you since he saw you but something else was behind his eyes when he spoke, something lonely. Your palm reached out confidently, landing on the bulge in his jeans. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice his size. The part of him that was against your hand wasn’t even all of him and you gulped as you tried to regain your confident composure. 

“Do you want me to help you feel better now, Mr. Munson?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”, the guitarist mused as he stepped forward, placing his own palm against the wall behind you and trapping you against it. “I hate when my questions go unanswered.”

“You-you must be used to disappointment then.”

His nose grazed yours, grinning a big tooth filled smile before his eyes flicked down to your hand on his cock.

“You must be to, Y/N.” Slowly, his fingers trace down your arm and take hold of your wrist as he holds it still. “Be honest. Have you ever felt a dick as big as mine?” 

You licked your lips as his hips began grinding against your palm, trying to push down the moan that wanted to escape. 

 “Ooo someone’s confident.”, you jest. Something in his look changes as the hand on the wall behind you slides down to your throat. In most situations with your other clients this would be a time to panic but he wasn’t gripping you violently. When his fingers firmly pressed into your skin, your brain felt fuzzy as your pussy clenched around nothing. 

“I’d say I’ve earned the right to be confident. Now, Y/N, this your one warning. Answer the questions I ask you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes Mr. Munson. I understand. N-no. I’ve never felt a dick like yours.”

He smirked as he pressed your palm harder against him. “Good girl.” Your let out a sigh when he released his hold on your neck to push some of your hair behind your ear. “You really are beautiful, Y/N. Fuck and your hand feels so good. I can only imagine how the rest of you feels.”

“You don’t have to imagine. You can have me if you want me.”

Eddie’s smirk grows as he bites his bottom lip. “Honestly, sweetheart, I’ve never wanted anything more but…that’s not how I play. I don’t want you to fuck me because you’re paid to.” He leans in till his lips are right by your ear. “I want you to fuck me because you want to…need me to.” You hear his breathing stutter as he moves his hips faster, his grip on your wrist tightening. “Beg me to.”

“Oh fuck…”, you whimpered at his words. His movements become choppy and grunts before you feel dampness on his jeans. 

He leans back placing his forehead on yours as he licks his lips and softly smiles. “See, what would usually happen now is I’d make you cum to. I bet that pussy is just aching to be touched but see…you’re getting to paid to make us feel good…not the other way around.”

You’re honestly too stunned to say anything or fight back with your typical brand of sass. Right now, all you can think of his him and how bad you need something from him; anything. 

“Can…can I kiss you?”

When he nods, you waste no time connecting your lips to his. You immediately taste the nicotine but that undertone of him has you dizzy. All too quickly, it’s over as he pulls away. He doesn’t just move his head but his whole body as he backs towards his bed, yanking off his now stained jeans and boxers.

“How long are you ladies here for?”, he asks nonchalantly as he sits on the bed and picks up his guitar again. 

“Huh? Oh, um, 2 AM I think.”

He glances at his phone before handing it to you. “Time’s almost up. Put your number in there for me.”

Eddie said it like a command and your instinct was to say something snarky but as you looked down at him strumming his instrument without looking at you, you realized there was more to this man than meets the eye. Most men who begged for your number always watched you intently to make sure you actually did it, you assumed. Of course, you gave them a fake number or the number to the agency you worked for but with this man here his head remained lowered. It was almost like he was afraid you wouldn’t…like he really hoped you would and would be hurt if he watched you decline, giving the phone back. 

There was something about Eddie that you wanted to know more about. He wasn’t like everyone else you had been around. For some reason, you felt like you could trust him. 

After inputting your real number, you placed his device back on his nightstand and sat beside him. “We still have 45 minutes. Can I ask what you’re working on?”

His eyes shoot over to you as he cautiously scans your soft smiling face. “We’re working on this new album and Jeff has this song he wrote but I can’t find the right sound. I was just messing around and recording them to see if it sparked something.”

“May I hear what you have so far?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

He reached over, grabbing an extra set of headphones and placed them over you head. You grinned as different guitar riffs and melodies began to play. 

“This is all you?” Eddie nods. “Wow. Mr. Munson, you are definitely talented.”

When he pauses the recording and you slide the headphones around your neck. “You can call me Eddie if you’d like.”

“Okay, Eddie.” After putting the headphones over your ears again, he pressed play and you both leaned back in his bed. 

He couldn’t help but be a little shocked that you didn’t try to touch him again. Anywhere he or his band went, people tried to touch his body whether it was meet and greets, walking through the street, or even on stage when overzealous fans would jump on and run at them. Any girl that was lucky enough to be in his bed would insist on touching him until she left as if she knew this would be the last time she saw him. That’s another reason he struggled to maintain any kind of relationship. Besides the crazy rockstar life, he never was keen on being constantly touched. 

He got enough of that with his career and when he was growing up when his dad would knock him around. With his last relationship, they fought constantly because there were times he would come home from a long day and just wanted a moment to decompress alone. He knew she meant well but even after nicely asking her to give him a moment she would still try and wrap her arms around him or try and kiss parts of his body.

What he didn’t know yet was that you understood that feeling all too well. Being in your line of work, men seemed to believe you didn’t even have a line they shouldn’t cross, always touching some part of your body until their time was up. When you were just a stripper at the company you worked for, men were the same but at least you had a bouncer to quickly pulled them back. When times got hard and you told your boss you were willing to sign up for the “side hustle”, it was just you and the girls. 

No one had ever gotten too physical like that but after your client came you just wanted them to roll over and crash or just leave you there till the timer was up. Personally, you chose to stay away from relationships knowing most men wouldn’t like your line of business. Men constantly offered to “save you” but you knew it was all talk. They didn’t really care about you. 

When you moved to the city, you promised you were only going to look out for yourself. You took care of you and had for a long time. The last time you relinquished control like that, you got burned and ran all the way to a new state. 

A small hand tapped your knee and you jumped before realizing it was one of the other girls letting you know time was up. 

“Ok, I’ll be right there.” You turn to Eddie and hand him his headphones. “I really like what you have so far. That last one was beautiful.”

“Thank you. Here, um, let me grab my sweatpants and I can walk you out.”

“Oh, Eddie, no. You don’t have to do that. It’s super late and in your gated front yard I don’t think anyone is going to jump us.”, you giggle. 

“Ok…I’m going to put on pants anyway though because I want to hug you if that’s alright.” Without waiting for an answer, he finds a pair on the floor and pulls them up just below his hips. 

“Do arms not work without sweats?”

“They do but I don’t want to be disrespectful by rubbing my dick on you and making you uncomfortable.”

“Didn’t I just…”

“You made that move, sweetheart. You put your hand on me.”, he grins as he places his body in front of yours. “May I hug you?”

When you nod, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest as your own limbs cling to his upper torso. This was a new feeling for you. It had been so long since you felt safe in someone’s arms. His hand petted your hair as he kissed the top of your head. 

“I’ll talk to you later to make sure you’re alright.”

***

You sighed as you entered your front door, putting away your things, and throwing yourself on your bed as you closed your eyes. A sudden ding on your phone made your eyebrows scrunch as you blindly searched for it on your bed. Swiping it open, you noticed it was from an unknown number but as you read the message, a smile slowly formed on your face. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Just checking in to make sure you got home alright.”

“Are you stalking me, Mr. Munson? Lol. I literally just walked in the door.”

Tossing your phone back on the bed, you figure it will most likely take him awhile to respond but as you go to your closet to change you hear that familiar ding.

“Yup. You caught me. I followed you home.”

“Shit. I just realized that’s probably not a joke I should be making in your line of work.”

“I was just thinking about you and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Lol Eddie! If I thought you were like that I wouldn’t have given you my number : ) “

“I’m alright though. Thank you for checking up on me.”

“Of course. I’ll leave you alone now so you can sleep.”

“I actually wasn’t going to go to sleep just yet.” 

You paused for a moment debating on if you should tell him what you were going to do before bed. You were hoping if you did maybe he would talk to you like he did in his bedroom. Hearing him murmur his words and what he said got you wetter than anything else. You could still feel your slick sticking to your legs after you changed your clothes. Hell, it couldn’t hurt, right?

“I just got back from spending some time with this long haired rockstar with a huge cock who got me all hot and bothered so I was going to relieve some of this pressure here.”

You watched the dots on his end appear and disappear. The longer it took him the more nervous you got. Had you crossed a line?

“Don’t talk like that. Be upfront and honest. Talk to me like a big girl. What were you going to do before bed, Y/N?”

You could almost feel his stern eyes through the screen as you rubbed your thighs together. 

“I was going to touch myself and think of you.”

His name suddenly popped up on your phone and you didn’t hesitate to answer the call. 

“Hey Eddie.”

“Are you still wearing what you had on here?”

“No. I’m naked now.”

“Liar.”

“Eddie, I’m not—”

“Call me back when you’re ready to be a good girl.”

Your jaw dropped as he hung up and you huffed as you called him backed. “How dare you—”

“I don’t play games like that, little girl, and I hate liars. I figured since I got you all riled up and you are no longer on the clock maybe I could help you out. I also thought it would be fucking sexy to hear what you sound like when you cum. But if you want to cop an attitude with me, I can treat you how bratty little girls deserve to be treated. Now…what are you wearing?”

“I’m wearing an oversized t-shirt with my panties from earlier.”

He could hear your pout through the phone and it was making him hard all over again. 

“Good. Good girl. Why didn’t you just tell me that in the first place?”

“I don’t know. I just… I always have to be SEXY; you know? God forbid I show any humanity.”

“Not with me, princess. I imagine you look just as sexy now as you did looking up at me with those big, beautiful eyes against my bedroom wall."

“Thank you, Mr. Munson.”

“Of course. Now tell me, baby. You said you were going to touch yourself and think of me. What about me?”

“I was thinking about the way your lips tasted when you kissed me…so good.”

“The cigarette taste didn’t bother you?”, he chuckled making you smile as one of your hands roamed up your shirt to touch your breast. 

“No. Not at all.”, you giggle back, biting your bottom lip. 

“That’s good. I’ve had some complaints.” You can hear him smile and your fingers run along your nipple as your exhale heavily. “What are you doing over there, honey?”

“I’m playing with my tits.”

“Mmm. You did have some perfect tits. Well, from what I saw under that tight ass tank top.”

That makes you genuinely laugh and his smile grows at the sound. “What else were you going to think about?”

Your hand slides under the waistband of your panties as your finger slides through your dripping folds. 

“I was going to think about your thick cock against my palm and the way you rubbed against it.”

“Yeah? You’re going to imagine me doing that right now between those gorgeous legs? Grinding my dick against your pretty little pussy.”

“F-fuck, Eddie.” Your eyes rolled back as two of your fingers breached your entrance. “Please…keep talking to me…like that.”

“You like the way I talk to you? Was that something else you were going to think about? Picturing me whispering in your ear like I did when you were here?”

You didn’t know but he was leading you somewhere. There was one thing he wanted, needed to hear you say on your own. As soon as he heard it, he was yours and he would do anything to make you his. 

“Yes, I liked hearing you say the things you said.”

Eddie could hear you touching yourself and your little moans were driving him crazy as he quickly pulled down his pants. 

“Princess, is it ok if I touch myself to?”

“Yeah, baby. Of course. A-are you—mmm—still a bit sensitive?” The sound of him spitting in his hand had you clench tightly as you whimpered. 

“Ah, no, baby girl. But with those sexy fucking whimpers and groans I’m not going to last long.”, he chuckled. “How many fingers are you using?” You barely heard him as you thumb began messaging your clit. “I asked you something, sweetheart. What did I say when you were here?”

“If-if—mmm—you ask…me…something I-I answer.”

“Good girl. Tell me how many fingers you’re using.”

“Fuck…two. Two, Daddy.”

Eddie practically growled with pleasure at the word that he had been praying would fall from your lips. 

“Jesus, yes. Good fucking girl. I want you to use three. You…you have to prepare that pretty pussy for… Daddy’s big cock.”

As soon as you did as he asked, the English language completely escaped your mind. 

“I…your…oh my…” He grunted in your ear reminding you of when he was pressed against you sending you toppling over the edge as you came hard. The sound was almost too much for him as he pictured your cunt spasming around him as you moaned his name just as you had. For the second time that night you made him cum as his spend shot out and hit his stomach. 

“Are you ok?”, you mumbled, drunk off your orgasm.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m alright. Are you?”

“I’ve never called anyone Daddy before.” You had no idea why you were being so honest with him. That wasn’t necessarily something he needed to know but for some reason you thought maybe the knowledge of that would make him feel special. You wanted him to feel good. 

“What made you say it now?”

You scoot your body further into your bed as you curl up into your sheets.

“I feel safe with you. I know that sounds so weird. We barely even know each other but I do…”

You listened to the soothing sound of his breath into the phone as he absorbed what you were saying. 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes.”

“I can handle the asshole.” You smile when you hear him softly laugh. 

“On Friday, we’re going to be spending some time at the recording studio. Do you want come by and listen to us play?”

“I would love to but I have to work Friday night.”

“How about you come by in the afternoon and then go to work? Are you…um…”

“No, side business Friday. I’ll just be dancing.”

“Ok, cool. Maybe when we’re done, I can meet up with you after.”

“Eddie…I like you a lot but are you sure you want to do this? I strip and I have sex for money. I’m not proud of it but I’m not ashamed of it either. I’m doing what I have to do right now.”

He was silent for a moment as he thought about what you were saying. 

“Y/N, I’m not perfect. I’ve been arrested, gotten into fights with paparazzi, and like I said I can be a bit of an asshole. I like you a lot to but I understand that this is all new. You and I lead interesting lives. I’m not…going to harp on you and I’m not going to, I don’t know, offer to fucking save you or whatever other douchebags say.” You laugh making him smile. “But I would like to take care of you…physically, mentally, emotionally…financially.”

“I don’t know how to give up control like that.”

The way you say that makes him want to scoop you up in his arms and cradle you into his chest. 

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“No, not tomorrow.”

“Can I come over so we can talk? We’re doing this stupid photoshoot thing but I can come over after and bring some food. Of course, only if you’re comfortable. That’s all that really matters to me, baby girl. I want you to be comfortable.”

You don’t know why but you believed him when he said it. What was it about this man that had you breaking all your normal rules?  Not just rules with the business but in your life. You had been on your own for so long that you didn’t need nor want to become involved with someone. However, it would be nice to have someone take care of you for once…

“Okay, Daddy”

[darlingmbappe]

Innocent Offer | Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: Kylian begrudgingly admits his lack of sexual experience to you. As a good friend would, you offer him some help. Based on this request.

Warnings: Literally just smut, so minors don't you dare. Keep scrolling, nothing to see here! Virgin!Kylian, experienced!reader. Oral (male receiving), friends to lovers kinda, cussing. This was repurposed from another fic I wrote while I was in another fandom. I'm 99% sure I fixed all of the names/inconstancies. It's a little short, sorry guys! Let me know if I missed anything! — English is not my first language —

Masterlist

“You’re lying.” The accusing words come out of your mouth through a smirk. The boy sat across from you leaning on the headboard of the huge daybed in his gameroom with crossed arms, avoiding your gaze after having just admitted something he never thought he would. Especially to you — the girl he’s been silently (but heavily) crushing on for at least an entire year.

Kylian scoffed, pinching at a loose thread on his T-shirt sleeve. “Now, why the hell would I lie about that?”

You sit on the same bouncy mattress he did, leaning on one arm while you try to catch his eyes. He’s clearly embarrassed — not that he has to be. You didn’t want to make him feel bad about it, but couldn’t help yourself from making sure you heard him right.

“You’ve never gotten a blowjob?” He purses his lips as an answer. “A handy?” He shakes his head slightly, trying to focus on anything but your interrogation. “Not even before...”

He throws his arms down in frustration. “No, alright? Let’s just make it clear that no girl has ever seen my dick and move on. Please.” He snaps in a mumble, feeling slightly humiliated at the topic of conversation.

Your hands raise in defeat, committing yourself to dropping it for his sake.

You haven’t known Kylian for that long, a little over a year at most. What began as an acquaintance through friends of friends developed into a strange friendship of its own. After getting formally introduced to each other four times at separate events and droning ‘we’ve met’ each time, there was a sort of unspoken fellowship. Once you finally got to speak at someone's birthday party at the open bar, you two didn’t stop for hours. Laughing and trading stories until your separate groups dragged you both away. Now, you see him constantly. You were always getting those 'come over' texts the second he got home from training. You two just clicked.

You watched his chest rise and fall as he did his best to focus on the giant TV mounted on the wall, giving your eyes time to feed on his tense shoulders, his exposed collar bone begging to be kissed.

You wanted him to relax; you’re not judging him, you just couldn’t believe he was a virgin. He’s just so confident… and so goddamn sexy. You were actually kind of convinced he was a man-whore. You’ve seen all these women throw themselves at him over the course of just one year, but you never thought about the fact that you’d never seen him go home with any of them until just this second.

The words ‘no girl has ever seen my dick’ echoed in your head, your thoughts have been reduced to more perverted ones. You cared about Kylian so much and you noticed the way he looked at you sometimes, so you tried to be flirty and let him know that you were very much interested... but he would turn away and get shy about it each time. You just assumed he wasn’t into you and cut your losses, satisfied enough with a close friendship with the global star. Now, you’re thinking maybe he wasn’t uninterested, just flustered.

You crawled up the bed and sat next to him shoulder-to-shoulder, leaning your back on the headboard. He stayed completely still as he felt the heat of your body next to his, wishing he had just lied or something. 

Kylian looked back at his lap. “Will you stop looking at me like that?” You furrow your eyebrows, his words snapping you out of your own head. “It’s just… My whole life I've been so focused on becoming the world's greatest football star and then… I don’t know. Time flew by and all of the sudden I’m twenty four and still a…” He cuts himself off avoiding the V-word, simultaneously contradicting his whole let’s move on plea. He gulps, fiddling with his ring as if he had never seen one before. “I… I’m not going to be any good at it and I feel like women have all these expectations while sleeping with a football player, and I don’t want to embarrass myself. At this point I have to wait until it’s someone I trust, but I don’t have time for a relationship. Maybe I’m thinking too much about it.” He shrugs. “It’s not on purpose, is what I'm trying to say.”

You can’t seem to look away. He’s flustered and cute while he chews on the inside of his cheek. Maybe his shy confession has you wanting to take care of him, or maybe the infatuation you’ve suppressed for so long is coming back up to the surface; whatever it was drove you crazy. Crazy enough that you couldn’t stop yourself from saying something so bold. So direct. So out of character...

“Can I give you a blowjob?”

Kylians eyebrows shoot up, whipping his head to the side to finally meet your eyes. You could see him searching for any form of malice, he wondered if you were pulling some sadistic prank on him.

Maybe he didn’t hear you right – it was the only explanation he could come up with.

He opened his mouth to ask, but absolutely nothing came out. His lack of response kept you on the edge of your seat, giving you time to think about what you had just offered. It was ridiculous, inappropriate… he was going to think you were a weirdo. But you couldn’t back out now, it’s already out there. 

“Wh—uh. I… Me?” He eventually stuttered, a blush creeping up his neck and cheeks.

“Who else could I possibly be talking to, Ky?” He just continues to stare. “Look, if you don’t want that, we can just pretend I never said anything.”

“No! I mean… yes. I mean…” He laughed awkwardly, shifting slightly to face you. Your brows pinched together, confused at his mixed response. “A-are being serious?”

“Dead serious, Mbappé.” You could see he was conflicted. You give him a few seconds to think before speaking again. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not just offering because you’ve never had one before. I want to do it for you. I wanna make sure you feel comfortable with the person. No judgments.” The idea of making Kylian moan sends a shiver down your spine. You see him gulp. “But, again, say the word and we’ll forget about this.”

His eyes are so wide looking into yours. “Y-you’re sure about this?” You nod, smiling and taking his hand into yours on his lap. “Then… yeah. Hell yeah.” Kylian grins, the rosey color deepening on his cheeks. He knew he would have to be an idiot to pass up this offer.

With his clear consent, you bite your lip, looking down at your locked hands and extending your fingers to free them from his lazy grip. You began to rub his palm softly, letting your finger graze off onto his jean covered thigh, going over his exposed skin through one of the rips. You applied more pressure as you slowly let your touch get closer to his crotch — Kylian’s breath hitched every time you made your way up.

You sat up on your knees and straddled one of his thighs, you continued your movements with both hands now. Looking up at him, his eyes were barely open but they stayed on you.

“You can tell me to stop at any time, okay hun?” The nickname was new, but felt right in the moment.

“Don’t.” He choked out, his hands now resting on the sheets.

Your right hand finally settled on his semi. The second it landed there he grunted, shifting himself lower on the matress. You wanted to kiss his parted lips, glistening with spit as he quickly went over them with his tongue.

You leaned in but landed your kiss on his neck just below his jaw. You wondered if anyone had ever kissed him there before as you bit the skin gently, earning a muffled groan and another gulp from the man underneath you. You continued a path of wet kisses and hickeys all over his neck, his semi now almost completely hard in his jeans. Pulling back, you looked at Kylian— his eyes threatening to close but prying themselves open, the dim light from his lamp making your spit glisten on his bruising neck. His breathing was quick and heavy. Seeing him like this under you makes you realize… you’ve got it bad for Kylian Mbappé.

Kylian couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. He must be having another one of his wet dreams or maybe took a ball to the head and was hallucinating. He had to reach out and grab your waist to confirm that this was reality. It was actually happening.

Slowly, you pop open the button on his jeans, pulling down the zipper. His erection was begging to be let loose and from what you had felt, he was definitely packing. When he lifted his hips to allow you to pull the material down to his mid thigh, leaving only his blue checkered boxers, you got your first real glimpse at what you had gotten yourself into.

You let out a soft ‘mhm’ as you let your forefinger touch his tip through his boxers, feeling the warm wetness of his precum against the pad.

“Ah, Dieu.” He breathed, digging his fingers into your hips. “Just so you know—hha, putain—I probably… I definitely won’t last long.”

You can see the apologetic look under his hooded eyes already. “Kyks, I’m not expecting you to.” You began playing with the hem of his boxers, lifting his shirt enough to see his belly button, letting your nail scratch at the minimal scruff of his happy trail. “I don’t want you to worry about that, okay?” He nodded, his warm palms rubbing your outer thighs. “I just want you to enjoy it.”

Blowjobs were kind of your thing. Your asshole ex made sure you knew how to give really good head, which was funny since he never once bothered to learn where your clitoris was. Either way, this was your area of expertise — your sexual superpower, if you will.

You pulled his boxers down, watching his length pull down until it released and sprang up, slapping Kylian’s belly.

Holy shit.

“Holy shit.” You said out loud. What a nice cock Kylian had. Long, slightly thick, a perfectly irritated mushroom head twitching against his soft skin. It definitely would be a challenge.

You palmed up his erection in one swift movement, immediately hitching Kylian’s breath, his eyes glued to your every movement. You wrapped your fingers around his tip, letting your thumb spread around his juices. You laid down between his legs, your face now inches away from his throbbing cock.

“Ready?”

“God, yes.”

Your tongue pressed flat against his slit, swirling around and tasting him like a lollipop. He moaned and threw his head back, the sound he made going straight to your aching pussy. The floodgates have opened between your legs with just the first lick, causing you to hum against him.

“Christ, (Y/N).” He hissed at the vibration.

You pulled off for a second, spitting down onto him, using your hand to spread the moisture to make it easier to take him all in. Because you were determined to take every inch of him.

Lowering your head back down, you hollow your cheeks and create suction. He shivered with a harsh exhale and reached to hold your hair back so he could see your face sinking into him.

The second your hands moved to play with his balls, he jolted. “Shit!”

You popped him out of your mouth quickly and concerned. “You don’t like that?”

“Jesus, I love it. Feels so good, amour. So fucking good.” He quickly insisted, involuntarily jutting into your hand that was wrapped around him.

With a smirk upon hearing the nicknames he called you, you took him back into your mouth and continued to squeeze his sack, bobbing your head up and down with your tongue pressed flat against his length, his eyes pressing closed with a loud moan. You looked up at him through your lashes until his eyes finally opened and met yours. Taking this opportunity, you shoved him all the way down your throat, your lips pressing against his pelvis, your nose buried in his bush of neatly trimmed hair.

He gasped then moaned, trying to form a coherent praise for you, but it came out muddled between huffs of air. You shook your head slightly against him suppressing your gag reflex as he continued to mumble incoherently under your grasp. You came back up for air, jerking him off as you stared at him… so pretty. “I- I can’t… merde. I’m gonna cum soon if you pull that shit again.”

“Am I making you feel so good, Ky?” You innocently asked.

“The fuck do you think?” He jokingly retorts at his disheveled state, making you giggle. “So good.” You had begun sucking on one of his balls, licking and swirling it in your mouth. Both his hands lifted to cover his red face and his tummy moved quickly with every breath.

You licked a stripe back up to his tip, taking all of him back your mouth without warning, deepthroating him once again. His tip pushed back behind your uvula and you were quickly bobbing your head up and down, letting his sensitive head rub back and forth against the back of your throat.

All you could hear was your gurgling sounds and Kylian’s loud huffs of air until his moans became more prominent. “I’m g-gonna cum—oh fuck—ahh!”

His warning wasn’t much of a warning, immediately feeling the hot spurts of white fill your mouth and trickle down your open throat. Your one hand squeezed his balls while the other scratched down his exposed thigh. He moaned and his whole body was twitching, squirming his legs around. You helped Kylian ride out his high until there was definitely no more cum left to give.

You lifted off of him gasping for air, swallowing everything he had given you. You looked down at his still twitching cock as it began to soften, wet with your spit and his own cum.

Now sitting up on your knees, you both caught your breaths until you broke the silence, growing impatient. “So..?”

His eyes peered into yours, a satisfied smile taking over his features. Broken between breaths, he finally spoke. “That had to be… the best blowjob… in the history… of blowjobs.”

You laughed, swinging your legs over the bed and stretching out your back. “Careful Kyks, you’re gonna give me a big head.”

“You just gave me big head.” He chuckled, pulling his clothes back to their rightful place.

You shook your head and blushed. “You’re ridiculous.” You looked at the time on your phone. “Shit. I'm late for my shift.”

He sat up as you hurriedly grabbed your things. You probably should have checked the time before you offered oral to your best friend.

“What—you’re leaving? You can’t leave… I didn’t even get to return the favor.” He argued.

“I didn’t realize that was part of the deal.” You quirked a brow as you put your boots on.

“I mean…” He blushed, watching your every move. “I’d like for it to be.” He stuttered.

You stood up smirking, walking to stand over him on his bed. Leaning down, you planted a kiss on his cheek, close to his mouth. “I’ll see you later, okay, big boy?”

You left him speechless when you walked out of his room, frozen in place. The touch of your lips against his skin invaded his body with goosebumps and then he realized: he never got to kiss you.

He knew now that no other girl could be his first. It had to be you.

Y/N: Short and filthy! So, like I mentioned, this was repurposed from an old fan account I had for a separate fandom a year or so ago. Love y'all!

Taglist: @trentione @mentalbaddie @neymarsrealgf @akiraquote @mrswhitethornbelikov @kymb-10 @formula101x @photmath @marcelineslove @tsikik @iheartkyky @freshfraise @jokertbh @germanapples @urfuturesoccerwife @nightlockcornucopia @laylaynaynay130 @starlight8374 @depressoesssspresso @mbappesbae @ maddyperrezz @gigiboss @xanjoy @lovekm @jkkiks @vvbasmavv-blog @suzysface @ lolarmy72 @lizzz2967 @kylians-world @superswaggycooch @shashla @mehrmonga @abayo222 @missmo79 @tties24-7 @gurleenkl @drewstarkeysbae @ vibinwkay @ctn26 @ippid @i0veless @abayo222 @b-bradshaw @http-isabela @zoeeeruiz @mitruscity @kenanlotus0 @mbapbaesluvr @alwaysclassyeagle @nhatquynh @philipetchebest @ricsaigaslec @dfswfvf @urfav-tz @kylianswag @fanatica2023 @alexisquinnlee-bc @megannandrewss @christianpulisic10 @pleasantducktimetravel @forevernightmaree @sachaa-ff @neymarloverxxx @4nn4rchive @lunamelona @m-uga @venomwh0re @edgyficuselastica @slaywhatyouwannaslay41 @pietromaximoffsbabe @krishnan-mbappe

[doobea]

This is my first time requesting something so I’m kinda scared 😓 but first date/ first kiss with isagi if you haven’t wrote anything like that already

-🪐 (if it’s not taken)

synopsis: first date + first kiss with isagi

content: sfw, fluff, gn!reader a/n: omg ty so much for requesting!! this was a super cute request :) I'm in a writing mood rn so I'll include both headcanons and mini-scenarios for this!

First Date:

Before planning anything else, Isagi is over the moon with the fact that he has a date with you (literally has received no Valentine's Day chocolates in his life).

Probably lets his parents know first thing and then texts his friends for some pick-up lines (new flash - his friends are losers too).

He wants nothing but cute and cozy vibes for the first date so you guys will end up at an art cafe painting mugs for each other! It'll save both of you the stress of dressing up and he believes that painting will ease the 'first date' jitters.

Aside from PE, his second favorite subject is art so this is just him showing off (and plus he wants you to ask him for help)!

"Wow, how are you already done with yours?" You ask, smiling in awe at Isagi's fully painted mug.

The athlete across the table doesn’t lift his brush from the base, eyes glued to the structure as he carefully adds the smallest of details to the remaining design. Once Isagi was done, he flashes you a bright grin before presenting you the light blue mug with Totoro and smaller Totoros carrying leaf-shaped umbrellas.

"I hope you like it," He's elated when you switch mugs with him. While yours wasn't completely filled in, he could make out bits of your personality and interests from what you currently had. "It's cute!" He says genuinely.

"Definitely not as cute as yours, Isagi." You sheepishly rub the back of your neck, eyes then landing on a blue smudge on your date's cheek. "Hold still for a second." You reach into your bag, pulling out a spare napkin, and lean over the table, ignoring his flushed cheeks as you gently dab the blot of paint away.

"That's a bit embarrassing..." His hand grazes over the cleaned area as you laugh in response.

"I think you just got a bit too excited."

First Kiss:

Most likely happening on the third or fourth date just because he really doesn't want to rush things if you're not comfortable with it.

Would try and kiss you when he drops you off at home. Cue heavy silence with shuffling from his end before him popping the question, "Can I kiss you?"

It'll be awkward, maybe a bad kiss by all standards, but that wouldn't matter because Isagi quickly becomes addicted to kissing you after the first one. Expect bumping of noses, kissing the upper lip, and awkward hand placements on your waist with this one!

A nervous chuckle escapes from Isagi as you admit you've never had your first kiss. It's shocking news to him since he's always thought you were extremely attractive but fills him with slight pride knowing that he'll be your first. "We'll figure it out, right?" His lips quirk in a hesitant smile as he takes a shy step forward.

You silently nod in response and mirror his movement.

Closing the remaining distance, your lips meet in a clumsy attempt to kiss. His hands blindly find their way onto your hips and his lips accidentally clash against your top half. Your noses bump against one another awkwardly, causing him to pull back.

"S-Sorry, that was my bad," Isagi flushes and pouts, before readjusting his stance and meeting your hazy gaze. "Think we could try again?"

Needless to say, for the rest of the night he's "trying" again and again until your lips were both sore and out of breath.

[nouvxllev]

plssss emma myers x reader 🙏🙏🙏🙏 late christmas fic plsssss im on my knees for angst

the moment you knew

Pairing: Emma Myers x Fem!Reader

Summary: With your schedule crammed with projects, speeches, meetings, and weekly parties your friends would pull you to, you can barely even say a simple greeting to her through the phone before being pulled away to another. Your conversations with Emma just kept getting shorter and shorter, and she couldn't be even bothered to message you back once in a while. But it was fine, you'd say to yourself. She's busy. Even on Christmas day.

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: angst

a/n: i seriously dont know how to write angst properly so bear w me.. and thank you so much for the request!! wrote a happy ending since even i cant write one without breaking down (ps: kinda based on the song the moment i knew and how you get the girl by taylor swift!!!)

masterlist.

3:32 PM

You could hear everyone at this party. Your friends, family, and some plus ones they brought; you all heard them. But that one voice you wanted to so desperately hear was gone.

Ever since you were a child, you adored Christmas. It's something more than just a date on the calendar. Everything down to the trees, wreaths, movies, and presents you had all so loved when the clock struck 12:00 on Christmas Eve. You would always come down after a long night of not sleeping and immediately open the presents your parents gifted you.

Now, you were an adult. And now, you had someone special to enjoy Christmas night with. Christmas night and an anniversary.

Christmas Eve was the date the both of you met, the day the both of you started dating, and the both of you spent your living days together.

That is, until college.

Emma lived just away from your university where you, unfortunately, got gifted with an apartment near your campus even after weeks of fighting with your parents to just let you stay with her.

With your schedule crammed with projects, speeches, meetings, and weekly parties your friends would pull you to, you can barely even say a simple greeting to her through the phone before being pulled away to another. Your conversations with Emma just kept getting shorter and shorter, and she couldn't be even bothered to message you back once in a while. But it was fine, you'd say to yourself. She's busy. Even on Christmas day.

happy anniversary emma!!! when r u coming? read, 12:03 AM

You blinked. You were staring at your message for long enough that it was etched in your iris.

You hosted this Christmas party for your anniversary with Emma, handpicked the outfits you knew Emma would adore, made the place look elegant even for a lousy apartment, and cooked the cuisines you've memorized in the back of your head ever since.

Now it was just for everyone to indulge.

You stood near a corner, the lights you had put up blinded your eyes just now. Your phone, clasped tightly in your hands, became a dying wish.

You couldn't help but periodically check Emma's contact. Hoping for a call, or even a message from her. Hell, you'd even take a text that she wouldn't be coming to the party. Just, anything will do just fine.

Everyone who walked passed you, tucked away in a corner of your own party said hello and went on with their day, their wishes and greetings became background noise to the ringing in your ears as you constantly found yourself checking your phone for notifications.

"Nice place you've got here, y/n!" They would say. You'd give a smile.

"Thanks for inviting me, y/n!" They would say. You'd give a smile.

"Merry Christmas, y/n!" They would say. You'd give a smile.

"Where's Emma? Shouldn't she be the first one to be here?" They would question. You'd stayed silent. You questioned it just as much as they did.

5:36 PM

Hours passed, the party continued, but Emma's presence wasn't even near you. The laughter and cheer of everyone who attended just became background noise at that point.

You tried to suppress the growing unease in your chest that was gnawing your soul bit by bit as time passed by. You should've been with the others, the others who were dancing, the others who were clinking glasses, the others who were happy with their lives.

You eyed the door, yearning for the time the clock strikes a certain minute when the door opens and you'll be greeted with the girl who carried everything someone would wish for just outside the door and give you a big hug.

It wasn't that you weren't enjoying the party; it was just that you wished the joy could be shared with someone else. Someone who would be there with you, dancing under the twinkling lights, clinking glasses, and just being by her side.

"Hey, you okay?"

A voice brought you out of your state. It was Jenna.

She sat down with you, holding a glass of champagne between her fingers and her headphones circled around her neck. A concern in her voice made you feel slightly better, but it was never enough.

You took a deep breath, the phone in your hand you were looking at ever since you sat down on the table you had turned off and hoped it'd ring if you did.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

11:50 PM

It had been eight hours.

Eight hours ever since you've been holding back tears. Eight hours ever since you've been convincing yourself Emma was just late to your party, Eight hours ever since the laughter in the crowd got bigger and heartily when you just stood around the corner while your eyes desperately begged for a message, Eight hours ever since you were telling people that you were fine, Eight hours ever since you greeted Emma happy anniversary only to receive nothing back, Eight hours ever since you've spammed her messages and called her throughout the night, eight hours ever since you realized Emma was getting tired of you.

11:55 PM

"Y/n, y/n!"

You heard the door open after a few knocks, it was Jenna. Again.

She found you leaning against the cold sink. You had your hands tangled into your air, your head hanging by and the faucet was running.

You glanced up, your eyes red and puffy from crying. The room felt small with Jenna entering, her looking at you with concern etching across her face as she gently closed the door behind her. You could still hear the screams, and countdowns of people outside, but you just couldn't hear that one voice. That once voice that should've been here.

"Where’s— Where’s Emma?" You whispered, staring at Jenna with your tear-streaked appearance, the hitch in your voice said everything.

Jenna's voice caught in her throat as she looked into your eyes, or rather averted your gaze. "Oh. Oh, Y/n— I'm so sorry, she didn't—"

"She didn't come," you finished Jenna's sentence, the weight of those words settling heavily on your shoulders. The room felt even colder, the sink you were leaning on felt like ice, and you could feel your hands slip away.

"It's Christmas Eve, Jenna." You choked out, "I thought she'd be here. I thought… it's our anniversary." Your voice trailed off as you looked up, fighting to hold back the tears that were resisting your attempts.

Jenna moved closer, offering a gentle hug until you looked at her, eyes swelled and your weight immediately crashed onto her. Silent sobs filled the room as Jenna patted your back.

"I just wanted it to be special," you mumbled against Jenna's shoulder, your words muffled and barely audible. "I wanted her to be here."

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3:23 AM

Short, short, long, short.

Someone knocked on the door. You recognized it instantly; it was Emma.

You had already changed into clothes that were no longer comfortable, feeling every fabric peel against your skin. The pieces of the party were scattered across the floor — glitter, polaroids, and bottles scattered across the hardwood tiles. Half-lidded eyes, you sat on the couch, phone on your hand. Still.

Your fingers scrolled over Emma's contact. Numerous missed calls and unread text messages filled the screen. As you scrolled, you noticed her replies were short, and her daily pictures were absent. No more 'good morning' or 'good night' messages. No nothing. It was the moment you knew; maybe it didn't work out after all.

When did it all go wrong?

You heard the knob churning as the door creaked open. Emma stood there. Your gaze met hers. It's weird how different you perceive someone else after realization.

"Y/n?"

She took a step forward, reveling in you and your mess.

"Can we talk?"

"Talk?" You let out a bitter laugh, your phone being forgotten, "we should've talked ages ago. Where have you been? Why are you always missing from my life?" Your voice dwindled, a crack in your throat.

Emma's eyes looked at everything but yours, her hands going to her chest. "I've been busy, okay? I have.. I have things on my plate."

"Busy?" You stood up, "why are you always using the same excuse, Emma?"

"Y/n—"

"Whenever I talk to you, you always respond with 'I'm busy.' Why does it always feel like I'm talking to no one? I can't keep going on with my life expecting you to just randomly appear in front of me when I know that isn't going to happen."

"Not even a happy anniversary back."

"It's our anniversary?"

Oh.

"You forgot?" Your voice went hoarse.

Emma blinked, "Y/n, it's not that simple. I have a lot going on in my life, okay? I just can't keep track of dates when I have that much workload."

"A lot? A lot going on, Emma? I've been left in the dark by you. What about 'us?' Have you even thought about what this silence your giving is doing to me!?"

"Y/n please—"

"Explain?" Your voice wavered, stepping forward that Emma was backed onto the door. "You've had countless of chances to explain, countless of unread messages, countless fucking times I've cried to you about how much I want you to open up to me."

"Y/n, I'm just—I'm just busy with everything. School, work, I—"

"You always are." Your anger softened into hurt, the numbness taking over you. "How many times are you going to repeat that? How many times did you even care once to think about how your treatment affected me?"

Emma's eyes met yours, "I didn't mean—Y/n, I love you, but—"

"Love?" Your body felt numb, your hands going to your sides. "You can't love me when you act like you don't even have someone to love." The words hung in tension, the air felt like you could drown in it.

"I can’t even wake up on the same bed next to you, Emma. I can’t spend— I can’t spend every second of my day without thinking that you fucking left me with someone else."

"Y/n—"

You stood in place, tears staining your face. "I don't want love that makes me feel like I'm abandoned 24/7, I don't want love that questions my worth every fucking day!" You shouted, noticing how Emma didn't even flinch. Not even a bit.

"This is suffocating—You are suffocating, Emma." You looked at her, eyes swelling as the lights flickered along with your emotions. Your voice came down to a mere whisper.

You wanted her to walk up to you and hug you. You wanted her to kiss you and tell you that everything would be okay, and the words you spoke were just a mere dream you had days ago. But Emma stood there. No denying, no accepting, no nothing.

"Y/n— God, y/n, I’m so sorry."

A sigh was the only response you could give her.

"I'm sorry too, Emma."

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Ever since you were a child, you adored Christmas. It's something more than just a date on the calendar. Everything down to the trees, wreaths, movies, and presents you had all so loved when the clock struck 12:00 on Christmas Eve. You would always come down after a long night of not sleeping and immediately open the presents your parents gifted you.

But now, it was you. Just you on Christmas Eve.

You sat on the couch, your legs coming up to your chest. It's been a year ever since you let Emma disappear from your life, a year ever since you told her off.

Noise from the TV, noise from the rain pouring outside from your apartment, it all blared in your ears while you hugged your legs even tighter. Your eyes started to fall as you keep track of the time on your phone.

Countless of books scattered across your desk instead of drinks, countless of papers and pencils littered instead of people, pillows sat across from you instead of Emma.

You had to admit, you missed her.

A sudden knock on the door was the only sound that took you out of your thoughts instead of the ambiance blasting outside.

You had no motivation to get up, at all. Even at Christmas, without someone by your side, it wasn't even the same anymore.

With a deep sigh, you decided to open the door.

"Happy—Happy Anniversary, y/n."

It was Emma.

...The fuck?

She was standing here, outside the pouring rain, outside of your apartment, outside of your space. Holding flowers that were now ducking their heads because of the rain they experienced, her hair was a dirty brunette color seeping through the strands, and her breath was shaky as she stood there. Freezing and holding flowers for you.

You stood there, eyes wide open. "Emma, this isn’t—"

"It is." Emma breathed, her hand coming to her face to wipe the tears mixed with the coming downpour, "It is our anniversary."

"It’s the date when we met eachother. It’s the date when we first started dating. It was the last day ever since I heard your voice mutter my name. It was the last day my name sounded so perfectly." She gulped, her voice wavering from the cold. "I don’t care if— I don’t care if it’s the day we broke up. Well, of course, I care since I just practically left you in the dark."

You just stood there, dumbfounded, letting her explain everything.

"Can I—Can I come in?"

You nodded after a few seconds. "Yeah. Yeah—come in," you managed to say without a crack in your voice.

Emma stepped inside, her shoes wet from going across the flood and taking time out of the rainy night to get you flowers. You and Emma faced eachother.

"I'm so sorry."

You stared at her. "You... You don't have to say that all the time. I got the gist." You responded.

"I left you in the dark, I never updated you, I never told you how much I loved you, I never told myself how much I needed you." She started

Emma took a deep breath.

"I wasn't busy, I wasn't anything I said before. I was lying to you."

You stayed silent, the TV light reflecting on the walls.

"I was scared, now that we were in college, I was scared if you went to another school, maybe you'd find someone better. I let my own fears and insecurities get the best of me. I ran away, I shut myself off, I couldn't take it." She gripped the bouquet she held.

She took a step closer, but you stayed in your place.

"I realized… maybe just moments after I knew you were hurting, I pushed away the person who meant the most to me." Her eyes glistened with tears. You noticed. You went soft around her, your eyes no longer tense.

"I love you. I love you so much, more than I ever allowed myself to love another. I never meant to make you feel like someone who was nothing to me. You were the opposite. You were everything to me." She looked at you, asking for consent with the look in her eyes. "I want to be the partner you deserve, the partner that makes you happy every second."

With a nod, you too broke down. A lump forming in your throat. "I missed you too. I—I didn't know if you'd come back to me after all that, I didn't know how to reach out." You went to her after you noticed her eyes softened.

You came crashing into her with a hug, your arms squeezing her body who was dripping with rain from outside.

"I didn't want to let go," you whispered, your voice filled with the honesty and vulnerability. "I couldn't take it."

Emma held you tighter, her voice soft, "I'm so sorry for making you feel like you had to. Your emotions were valid anyways. I was a total dipshit."

You pulled back, looking into her eyes as the clock behind Emma struck 12.

"I love you."

"Yeah. I love you too."

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12:00 AM

Ever since you were a child, you adored Christmas. It's something more than just a date on the calendar. Everything down to the trees, wreaths, movies, and presents you had all so loved when the clock struck 12:00 on Christmas Eve. You would always come down after a long night of not sleeping and immediately open the presents your parents gifted you.

Now, you were an adult. And now, you had someone special to enjoy the season. Someone who, from the moment she stepped inside of your apartment, it was the moment you knew Emma was someone who'll stay forever.