#than a dog's unconditional love

[kurouga]

Project RYUU rambling -- ‘Early Days,’ Ryuuko and Senketsu

(Spoiler level? Mild)

We don’t know all of Senketsu’s secrets or Ryuuko’s backstory in Project RYUU yet, but my goal with the ch18 art was to convey how genuinely happy young Ryuuko is to have Senketsu by her side.

We see here a very different Ryuuko than the distraught, sobbing child we left off with at the end of chapter 17 (Early Days). Ryuuko in the fic has grown up in seclusion, presumably even more so than in canon; for the first few years of her life, the half-dragon’s father is her only acquaintance, practically the only person she’s ever seen or has any relationship with -- her caretaker and her best friend.

This peace, these woods and these hikes, her life and her home here with her father – these are her treasures.

*Insert thief-Ryuuko and her material treasure-hoarding impulses in the present day here* Hmm...

Even as Isshin becomes more consumed in his work, we emphasize in Early Days that the young Ryuuko considers him a symbol of safety, and despite the bitterness she feels, she still cherishes what little time they spend together.

Unfortunately, she also fundamentally struggles to comprehend why she should care about anyone else (a trait that carries over to present-day Ryuuko, who initially balks at the thought of fighting for the rebellion or being expected to play some role in the as-of-yet briefly touched upon prophecy), or why anything in the ‘outside world’ should affect their life together -- and Isshin’s realizing the detrimental effects of the way she’s growing up is a factor in his decision to send her off to the capital. But Ryuuko isn’t prepared for this, and when she’s separated from her father, her entire world falls apart.

And that’s where we leave off with the first of a series of interspersed flashback chapters to come -- Ryuuko is hurt, in disbelief, and feeling betrayed. She feels defeated and hollow inside.

But then, this? The next look at young Ryuuko we’re provided?

Some time has passed, but something’s certainly changed in Ryuuko since Isshin first sent her away.

Though she doesn’t know it yet, this is Ryuuko with her oldest friend. She’s so happy he’s there, and she’s holding on tight. She’s opened up her heart again and formed her first new bond of many to come.

And Senketsu? He’s a puppy at this point so by definition he’s ready to conquer the world, but he’s ready to do so at his best friend’s side. And in a world of people Ryuuko has to hide her identity from, Senketsu couldn’t care less whether she’s a human or a dragon -- she’s Ryuuko, and she’s his home.

[drydaluxlaloud]

miracle is lovely and a Good Dog but it just doesnt make sense to me for dean to have a dog. like the guy has never particularly liked them and then was actively frightened of them post-death by hellhounds! miracle exists because dogs are part of the american ideal, and cats are viewed as feminine/queer. phyllis is actually the best pet for him!

[ink-sprite]

I’ve seen a couple posts floating around wondering about the alleged dog on set for Gotham’s final season, so I figured it would be cool to compile some info about it. Consider this an appreciation post for this adorable pup. This is Camaro, she’s a bulldog, and has been confirmed to be playing Oswald’s dog, Edward (on the show she is male). You can find her on Instagram at camaro_the_bulldog to see more bts pics.

Also if you’re curious for a little more information about her in the show, I highly recommend watching this interview with Cory from NYCC 2018. At about 10:25 he talks about her, though he keeps the names vague because I believe this interview ocurred before more info was released. Basically he says that her name in the show will be a “point of contention for characters”. With what we know now it isn’t too hard to guess just who those characters might be.

I don’t know about you all, but I am rather intrigued to see Ed get pissy over a dog and hopefully Oswald can toss some sassy line about the dog being more loyal than him.

[blacklabmom2]

🐾🐾❤🐾🐾🖤🐾🐾❤🐾🐾🖤🐾🐾❤🐾🐾

[peterthepark]

cough drop kisses

pairing: tasm!peter parker x reader

tags: kisses, mentions of being sick and having a cold, just fluff and comfort

summary: you’re sick, and peter parker is there to take care of you — always.

note: little thing i wrote for @agnesamarantheastwood and anyone else who has been sick or feeling under the weather! hope this helps and plz plz get well soon!!! <3

my masterlist

Peter hates when you’re sick.

But sometimes, he feels like it gives him purpose. It graces him with the duty to take care of you, even though he does it on a regular basis — sometimes more than he needs to — but you, feeling unwell, means that he would be able to care for you at every possible moment he could.

Yet, as stubborn as you are, you feel like a burden to be sick around Peter. You didn’t want to leave all the chores to him, to have him constantly ditch patrols just to buy you medicine and ice cream, or have Aunt May cook you some of her homemade soup and drop it off in the middle of the day.

But Peter didn’t mind. He would never mind, not when it comes to you: his world, his sun and his planets, his moon and stardust, a light force, a flame. Even when you’re sick, he still thinks you move like a growing fire.

The weekly Sunday movie marathon that you and Peter throw amongst yourselves has dwindled to an end as the last film finally rolls the credits in the dim-lit living room of your home. You’re laying your head on top of Peter’s pajama-clad thigh, his fingers playing with your hair as a gentle hand rests on your arm.

It’s midnight and you haven’t stopped sniffling on the couch.

“That was so incredibly sad.” You huff, turning over to look up at your boyfriend. “Like… The Notebook kind of sad.”

“The Notebook was not sad.” Peter chuckles, thumb running across the bone of your eyebrow as he admires your tired features. “You know what’s making me sad?” You hum. “The fact you haven’t slept yet. I told you I don’t want you staying up too late tonight, my love.”

“I’m fine.” You poke at the softness of his stomach, rolling your eyes at him when he sighs in retaliation. “Hey, I swear. M’not getting sick. I appreciate your concern. So much. But I’m okay.”

“Then why do you keep…” Peter leans over, snatching a tissue from the box on top of the coffee table. He hands you it, frowning when you stubbornly grumble at him and try to push him away. “… sniffling? Like a dog? Like a crying dog?”

“Okay, first of all. How dare you call me a crying dog.” You wag a finger at him, smiles forming on both of your faces as familiar banter begins to break out. “And, so what if I am crying?”

“Baby, there are zero tears on your face right now.” Peter shushes you, pressing a digit to your lips as you scrunch your face up in frustration. “I know you and your body more than anything else. You think I don’t notice how you start acting before a cold? Before a fever? We’ve been together for years. Of course I’m gonna notice when my girlfriend is coming down with something.” He whispers, lips meeting your forehead in a soft-spoken kiss.

You fight off a smile, knowing Peter may be absolutely right.

You haven’t seemed entirely well for the past few days due to a bothersome throat and that unsettling feeling of limbs too heavy to move. Even in the warmth of his arms, you feel lethargic. And truly, he did know your body like the back of his own hand.

You can learn a lot about a person when you love them.

So, yeah, maybe the brunette was onto something.

“You just want an excuse to baby me, don’t you?” You stroke his cheek, gazing into the specks of devotion in his irises.

“Don’t I baby you already, Y/N?”

He’s smitten.

Even when sleep clashes with the adoration on your face, he wants nothing but to shower you in kisses and unconditional love.

When he wakes up the next day to you nearly coughing up a storm, he feels nothing but remorse for how your body shivers underneath the sheets and how your forehead is hot beneath his touch. He resists the urge to say ‘I told you so’ when you softly call out for him, hands finding his large ones in the swimming comforter of the queen bed.

“Hey, you. What do you need? I’ll get you anything.” Peter sits up against the headboard, caressing your head as he draws his attention away from the book in his lap. His tone is hushed, quiet, too afraid to be loud and disturb you.

“Anything to…“ Cough. “Stop whatever this…“ Cough. “Is.”

He pouts, nodding with understanding before he makes haste and careful movements to roll out of bed. Peter’s heart grows exponentially at the sweet image of you tucked beneath blankets, swollen eyes and lips with a twitchy nose.

If he could wrap you up right now and never let you go, he would.

“I’ll go get you some water and medicine, how ‘bout that?”

“Mhm, yeah. Sounds perfect. Thank you, baby.” You crack the tiniest grin at him, lashes fluttering against your cheek as he peers at you from the bedroom doorway.

He taps a hand against the wall, “I’ll be back. Love you.”

All within twenty minutes, Peter is out the door and back in with more than what you asked for. At least two bags of groceries are in his grasp, stuff nearly pooling out from the cheap plastic bags as he makes his way into the kitchen. An assortment of snacks, mainly the ones he knew you’d like, canned soup and three different flavors of ice cream, cough medicine and soothing drops for that sore throat of yours.

He even bought a stuffed monkey and some flowers for you.

Peter excitedly walks into your shared bedroom, feet thinking faster than his brain as he takes a seat on your side of the bed. The mattress dips with the added weight, causing you to stir from your extended nap.

“Peter…” You chuckle, rubbing your eyes as you realize what he’s brought you. You shyly take the stuffed animal from him, pressing it close to your chest before he quickly pecks your cheek without thought, “Hey, I’m sick. Don’t go kissing me like that.”

“Babying you means I get to kiss you, too.”

“And kissing me means…” Cough. “… you’ll likely get sick.”

“Well, we can be sick together then.” He places a hand on your thigh, and you shift over to make room for his long-legged frame when he lays beside you once more. “I got you cough drops.”

“Oh, you’re an angel. I sound like I’m barking.”

You watch with a smile as he tosses a wrapper onto your nightstand. “Yeah, like a crying dog. I was totally right. Here, have one.” Your mouth parts open, your throat feeling less dry as Peter tenderly places the lozenge on your tongue. “Is that better?”

“Better. Thank you, Peter.” You nod, mindlessly fixing the messy strands of hair on his head.

“Can I get a kiss?”

“Do you really wanna get sick that bad?” You laugh, biting your lip when he pulls your forehead to his.

“Being sick with you means we can be stuck with each other. No getting rid of me. And that means more cuddles. More moments like this, where I can stay in bed with you all day and watch whatever sad movie you wanna watch next.”

You hum, tapping your chin in pretend contemplation. “Not opposed to that idea.”

“Kiss me already. Please?”

You shake your head at him, unable to resist those puppy eyes and the flush of his cheeks while his hands wander over the small of your back. “Fine. Only because you asked so nicely.”

Peter takes the moment to ghost your neck with innocent pecks, humming a low tone under his breath.

“Kisses can make anyone feel better.”

You whine jokingly. “I’m gonna taste like a cough drop.” He nudges his nose against yours, eyes half-lidded as he finds giddiness in your smile. “Pete, you sure you wanna kiss a walking cough drop?”

“Well, I do need it to soothe this little sickness I have. Dunno if you’ve heard of it though. Doctors just discovered that it’s a thing.”

“Oh, a thing?” His teeth tug at your bottom lip teasingly, hand holding you by the nape of your neck as you swing a leg over his own.

“It’s called the lovebug. I got it bad.”

“You are so cheesy.”

“Kiss me, or I’ll die.” He breathes out dramatically, grinning when the soft pillowy sensation of your lips intermixes with his. His mouth moves slow against yours, savoring you and this memory.

You taste of honey and menthol. Peter tastes of love.

Maybe cough drop kisses aren’t so bad.

[tossawary]

Today on my morning walk, I ended up thinking about Moshang at the same time that I was thinking about a person in my life who used to be a “I don’t want a dog” person but became a full-convert dog person.

Now, it’s super cute to imagine Shang Qinghua with a cute dog, but if he was a “I don’t want a dog” person, then I think he would be a “‘I don’t want a dog’ and means it” person. Doesn’t want the mess. Doesn’t want the responsibility. Couldn’t afford it in his past life and has never entirely understood the hype about dogs anyway (there’s a low-hanging joke revolving around Mobei-Jun being compared to a fat tiger, Bingpup, and Shen Qingqiu going, “What’s wrong with you? EVERYONE likes dogs,” and Shang Qinghua going, “Some people like cats, bro,” somewhere in here). I mean, if the opportunity came up to pat a cute dog, he’d take it, but he doesn’t really want one of his own.

So, I’m imagining Mobei-Jun as a “‘I don’t want a dog’ but will transform into a dedicated dog parent the second he gets hit with the unconditional love of a dog” person as a counterpoint to Shang Qinghua in this AU.

He’s never had any pets before. He’s basically never been near any kind of canine creature that wasn’t trying to kill him. But then some demon lord will gift him with a demon puppy from their prize dog’s latest litter (it’ll probably grow larger than a horse) or Mobei-Jun will stumble across some pathetic and totally normal stray dog in the Human Realm that reminds him of Shang Qinghua that any other demon would consider a snack, and then Mobei-Jun will be a goner. Like one of those fervent “NO PETS!” dads who, like, a month later, ends up letting the pet nap on his chest. Nobody is expecting this.

He will nap cuddled up with the dog. He’ll go hunting just to make the dog special meals. He will personally groom the dog with special brushes. The dog will have special fancy collars and servants to make sure its special routine is followed no matter what Mobei-Jun’s duties are. The dog has the fanciest bed any dog has ever had but is allowed on all the furniture. It’s a surprisingly well-trained and well-behaved and friendly dog, but it is spoiled.

And Shang Qinghua has no idea what to do with this. Like, he didn’t get to write Mobei-Jun really having any hobbies...? And this is fine?? He guesses???

If it’s the normal stray dog instead of a killer wolf thing, Shang Qinghua could live with the dog if people would just stop saying it looks like him. If it’s the killer wolf thing, Shang Qinghua is mostly just like, “So this is what it’s like to be a pet hamster living in the same house as a terrier. I’m going to die.” (And Mobei-Jun is like, “You are not going to die. Stop being dramatic.” To which Shang Qinghua can only point out that when the dog lies down on his legs, he can’t get up.)

[hyperfixations-and-hecticness]

MC AND THE DEMON BROS WITH THEIR MAGICAL PETS

Lucifer and Caeruleum

- I know Satan’s pet is the one who’s meant to be catlike but honestly it’s more Caeruleum. He just acts like a cat, especially in how he thinks he’s better than you. Prideful little goblin.

-Caeruleum 100% takes after Luci and tries to boss the other pets around. He only gets away with it cause of how powerful he is. He was raised to be smart and strong and he puts it to good use.

- He’s prideful but will do that cat thing of ‘fine I’ll let you pet me peasant’.

Mammon and Lucky

- Two troublemakers who pretty much only listen to you. What could go wrong? So many things. Y’know how Lucky can sniff out anything valuable? He considers literally anything you own valuable. He’ll be dropping your favourite t-shirt at Mammon’s feet with his tail wagging. Also Lucky is a really good pickpocket but his favourite person to pickpocket is Mammon. He’ll drop Mammon’s rings into your hand and will give you puppy dog eyes until you take them.

- Lucky wants so many cuddles. Mammon also wants so many cuddles. Solution? Cuddle party.

- He only listens to you except for when he feels like agreeing with Mammon. So Mammon is constantly dragging you to his room with the excuse of needing someone Lucky listens to.

Levi and Jerry

- Jerry is like Levi without the crippling social anxiety. If he could talk, he’d be re-enacting the TSL quiz with Levi but about you. They both claim they’re your No1 fan. Literally every brother disagrees.

- Jerry understands what you say and so he’ll pull you to him when he overhears you talking about hanging out with another magical creature. You’re his favourite damnit, nobody else gets you.

- Levi literally says he worships the ground you AND your creature walk on and he’s backing it up with actions. He wants to dress your creature in a Henry cosplay and his in a Second Lord cosplay.

Satan and Fabula

- Fabula refuses to go outside unless he’s snuggled up to Satan or SOMETIMES you. It took him a while to warm up to you but once he did? You have a cute feral cat ready to defend your honour at any given time.

-Fabula also likes it when you turn the pages for him when he’s reading, or even better read together! He doesn’t like to spend time with you alone though, unlike the others. He needs Satan to be there too.

- Satan absolutely loves the feeling of unconditional and unshared love that Fabula gives him and he loves even more having the two people who he feels love him unconditionally with him.

Asmo and Bella

- Bella is the prettiest magical creature in the Devildom. Asmo’s getting her to tag along with you guys to beauty treatments. He also likes hairbrushing trains. Bella knows her way around a hairbrush well enough to brush your magical creature too.

- He wants you to all match outfits, this isn’t an optional thing. You will look cute together, damnit.

- Bella is super affectionate, she’s clinging onto you or Asmo constantly. She also brushes her brothers.

Beelzebub and Pom

- He’s enjoying eating with his two favorite non-demons. Pom’s rambunctious and considers it a great honour to defend you and your creature. All he asks for in return is you hand-feeding him his favourite treats.

- Pom likes to sleep in either you or Beel’s arms.

- Beel’s big brother instincts are activated looking after Pom and he especially adores looking after Pom with you! It makes him all mushy and sappy, it’s so cute.

Belphie and Sleepy

- Two sleepiest mfs in the Devildom. And both of them have an iron grip you aren’t getting out of anytime soon. The both of them will use you as their pillow and stargaze with you.

- Belphie is a fairly lackluster parent, he’s supporting Sleepy from afar. Beel makes sure Sleepy gets fed but you may have to walk him to make sure he doesn’t end up with muscle atrophy.

- Your poor creature is also getting affected by Belphie’s naptime vibes so they’re asleep too and Belphie 100% uses that against you (brat) like ‘MC you wouldn’t ABANDON your creature now, would you?’

AN: I kinda imagine my magical creature to look like Toothless from HTTYD or a tiny chubby dinosaur, idk. Reminder requests are open and comments are appreciated. Also any ideas or requests for my 100 followers event, which is insane to me cause it’s only been three weeks.

[xaharadesert]

What I think of you based off of your favourite LI:

(Disclaimer: obviously none of these are gonna be accurate; they’re just for fun, don’t take it too seriously)

If your favourite LI is ❤️Julian❤️…

Why? I mean, I respect it, he’s gotta be popular for a reason, I just can’t figure out what that reason is. I assume you have at least a little bit of a saviour complex. Or you’re horny. Maybe both. Best case scenario, you want someone fun you can go on adventures with, but who will take care of you in bad times. I can respect that.

If your favourite LI is 🧡Portia🧡…

You are simply better than everyone else. That doesn’t mean you have a superiority complex, your taste is just infinitely better than the rest of us. You like cottage-core, and probably the more innocent side of a relationship. You are a cat-person. You are a plant parent (although whether or not you can keep a plant alive is debatable).

If your favourite LI is 💛Lucio💛…

You don’t take discourse too seriously. You think of him as funny haha goat man a majority of the time, and try not to consider the ramifications of his past too often. You are someone who is very adept at separating fiction from reality. You know that his route wasn’t very well written, and you kinda wish that the writers had either just stuck with him being an irredeemable idiot, or had put in the effort to give him a proper redemption arc that actually took time.

If your favourite LI is 💚Muriel💚…

I know very little about you. You probably wish his trauma was taken more seriously within his route. You are a dog person. You are a fan of the gentle giant trope. You would like to use him as a giant pillow. You’re a fan of nature, although whether or not you leave your house without being forced to is debatable. You have a hard time figuring out when it’s your turn to talk in conversations.

If your favourite LI is 💙Asra💙…

You prefer fantasy to reality. You rely heavily on various forms of escapism to get through your day to day life. You have multiple aesthetics. You have many items in your house or room that are solely there to look pretty. You collect nice things you see on the ground (rocks, leaves, shells, mushrooms). You probably don’t recognize Asra’s canon flaws because you crave unconditional love.

If your favourite LI is 💜Nadia💜…

You probably know your taste is superior, but you’re humble enough not to brag. You’re either hyper-competent or have no real idea how to take care of yourself— no in-between. You like fancy and pretty things, but you might not have many. You enjoy reading. You believe that complexity makes a story more enjoyable.

[tojisveryown]

𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫

Ｓｙｎｏｐｓｉｓ: 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 :)

Ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ: 𝘕𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧. 𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!

Ｎｏｔｅ: 𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 "𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥" 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵!

- ♡ -

↻ Megumi is very independent. He's always had the mindset that he'd never need anyone other than himself along with his sister. From a very young age he's taught himself to fend on his own which is why the start of your relationship was rocky. Megumi's considered a closed book, he's never really found the importance of opening his heart to anybody that wasn't his sister. That was until you came along of course.

↻ At the beginning of your relationship Megumi was very reserved. The type of mindset he had was the one where he'd never ask anyone for help. He'd never break apart in front of anymore, because that's just how he's been since childhood. You realized that he was probably not interested in you, so you began to distance yourself until Gojo sensei had a talk with you, "Hey Y/N, can we talk?" "Uh.. sure?" "So Megumi..." "What about Fushiguro?" Gojo face palmed himself. "Jesus, you two are dating and aren't even on first name basis? Well anyway, I'd just like to tell you that Megumi doesn't act on how his heart is feeling. He pushes his own feelings away and acts on what he thinks will protect him. As someone that raised him, I failed to teach him that love is something that can protect you. So please be the one to teach him that. Make him realize it."

↻ You made it your mission to get him to open up to you, to open up to the idea of loving you. It took fairly a long time, but to you it was worth it. Seeing a whole new side of Megumi made you wonder how many years he's been putting up a facade. Megumi's love for you was unconditional, pure, and blissful. Even if you two parted ways he'd never forget you, due to how much you impacted his heart and mind.

↻ Megumi is the type of boyfriend that doesn't get jealous. He acknowledges the time and effort it took to build the trust that the both of you have, so he'd never wanna jeopardize it over a feeling that wouldn't last very long. He trusts you and you trust him. Your relationship with him would hands down be the most healthiest he's had besides from his sister, and he'd cherish it down to his core.

↻ Megumi is the award type at comforting someone. When you two were fairly new to dating he'd never know how to comfort you. He thought it was because he's never had much romantic interactions with girls, but it was just because he was super nervous. He hates the thought of making you uncomfortable. He'd never want you to feel unsafe, especially around him. He wanted to create a world where you'd constantly feel safe, however he knew it was out of his abilities so for now he resided as your safe haven.

↻ He constantly gets teased by Gojo, Itadori, and Nobara that he doesn't show you off enough. Maki even teases him that other guys might hit on you if he doesn't make it well known that the both of you are together and happily in love. For a while he stresses himself out trying to find a way to make it known that he is yours and you are his. He ends up with the idea of getting you a necklace were the pendants are his divine dogs. Behind each metal pendant your initial was on one while his was on the other. He made it a mission to give it to you in the most subtle was possible.

↻ You love to hear Megumi's inputs on your outfit. Of course he'd say he likes anything you decide to wear, however the sight of him blushing when he sees you in a new outfit is a sight you wanted to keep for yourself. Once you had decided on an outfit you had asked him to put on your favorite necklance, "Hey 'gumi, can you put this on me real quick?" he hummed and proceeded to put a necklace on you. "My pretty girl really lives up to her name." He gave you a kiss on the top of your head and headed out the door waiting for you at the front. Halfway through your date you hadn't realized the new piece of jewelry laying on your neck, until you had gotten up to use the restroom. Before you had gone out you checked your hair in the mirror and noticed the difference in your everyday appearance, you brushed it off and you went back to your seat.

↻ You hadn't noticed the change in your necklace the same way Megumi hadn't noticed the change in his heart. The necklace he had subtly gifted to you instantly became your favorite just how you easily became his.

- ♡ -

© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫

[thegeminisage]

john abused both dean AND sam, just differently. in this essay i will

prove that the abuse manifested in different ways for each of them because that’s how abuse works in real life. this is based on the fact that john saw dean as mary’s surrogate but once he found out about the deal and sam having demon blood he blamed sam for her death. ok let’s fucking go

dean as mary’s surrogate

there are loads of parallels made between dean and mary in early season spn and late season spn. in season 12 dean directly calls himself sam’s mother, but even earlier than that we see him doing the cooking and child rearing. compare that to all the parallels made between sam and john (both of them losing their blonde woman significant others in a ceiling fire) and it’s clear that dean was meant to more resemble mary. it’s not a stretch to say that if we can see it as viewers this is how john saw it in his actual life. i do think john loves dean for being dean but he loves him more for being mary.

sam as the reason behind mary’s death

i think once john learned that sam had demon blood, some part of him must have always been waiting for the other shoe to drop with sam, not ever fully believing this kid was human, and maybe not even knowing if this kid was HIS. a popular theory back in the day was that YED fathered sam (something they had to actually address in season 4 to stop the speculation), and if WE speculated that hard, surely john must have too. i’m sure he loves sam as an extension of mary, and keeps and raises and protects him BECAUSE he’s mary’s, but similarly (or maybe inverse) to dean, i don’t know if he ever fully gave himself permission to love sam for being sam. in fact, i imagine john harbors a lot of self-loathing for failing to save mary. if we directly parallel john and sam, that means by some extent he would also hate sam.

john trusted dean with far too much, and sam with far too little

dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. dean had memories of their mother and the night she died, and shared that trauma of watching her die with john; sam didn’t. dean knew when john was supposed to be home and who to call if he wasn’t; sam didn’t. dean was given the money and the guns and the CAR ITSELF; sam wasn’t. dean was taught to drive; SAM WASN’T. 

dean was expected to do everything john was supposed to have been doing in his absence - he was to be a mother and father to sam, he was supposed to protect sam from evil, he was supposed to see to sam’s meals and homework and getting to school on time. and he was put under an EXTRAORDINARY amount of pressure not to screw this up even a little bit, despite the fact that he was only a kid. sam on the other hand was kept on a strict need-to-know basis for his entire life, right up until season 1 when they reunite at last. john didn’t trust sam with ANYTHING, and sam knew it. this contributed to his lifelong anger issues because he didn’t DO anything to warrant that kind of mistrust and probably got gaslit about it a lot of times either by john himself or dean (unknowingly, by parroting/believing the things john said). even in the pilot sam says very casually of his mother “she’s gone,” because her memory doesn’t hold the same place of reverence for him - best guess is that john didn’t talk about her much to sam because he didn’t trust sam with emotional stuff either. in s14 we learn that dean was the one who told sam stories about mary, including her terrible casserole - and their attempt at recreating it infuriated john to the point of him throwing the entire concoction in the trash.

john relied on dean for everything, and refused to rely on sam for anything

canonically dean was the one who comforted john after a bad hunt, looked after and fed his brother when john wasn’t around. dean knew how to use a shotgun; sam didn’t. dean knew who to call in an emergency; sam didn’t. dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. this was done under the guise of “protection for sammy” but turn it around and it’s also protection FROM sammy. think of how angry john gets when he learns sam has been having psychic visions. he’s not just angry that dean didn’t report it to him, he’s angry that the demon’s plans for sam are coming to pass, and that sam is becoming less human. again, he can’t TRUST sam if sam’s not human, and it proves to john that he was right all along to keep sam in the dark as much as possible.

john gave dean too much freedom, and sam no freedom at all

“watch out for sammy.” sam was under constant supervision by either dean or john; john made sure of it. again, it’s protection FOR sam but also protection FROM him, in case he did something inhuman or evil. dean on the other hand was left alone without any supervision at all for days or even weeks at a time - he resorts to stealing bread and peanut butter and (according to jackles) turning tricks for money. he had to make it work and got up to whatever the fuck he wanted when john wasn’t looking. sam had to LITERALLY run away from home before he got the simple pleasure of eating pizza and having a dog by himself, independently. dean was given too much independence and freedom but sam was kept on such a short leash he had none at all.

john made dean feel unworthy, and he made sam feel unclean

when dean fails to protect sam from the shtriga in the season 1 flashbacks, he says his dad looked at him differently after. he also implies that john physically beat him when sam ran away in flagstaff. whether he meant to or not, john made it abundantly clear that his love for dean was not unconditional; it depended very much on how well dean performed the multitude of tasks john assigned him. dean grew up believing that his only worth was in what he could do for other people. he demonstrates this an an adult over and over and over, from letting his possessed family members beat him up to refusing to take care of his own needs, emotional and otherwise, and snapping at people who try to talk to him about his own feelings.

on the other hand, sam talks in season 8 about how even at a very young age he felt impure and unclean, even before he knew that he had demon blood, even before he knew that there was any such thing as monsters. kids aren’t stupid, and sam picked up on the vibes john was putting off - that john didn’t trust him, might not have loved him, and might not have considered him human or even his own child. without even knowing why, he spent his entire life feeling unclean and inhuman, not worth of being loved by his own family. even dean, who we all know loves sam unconditionally, admits in season 14 that he often took dad’s side on arguments because he had “his own stuff,” further leading to the alienation that was sam’s constant companion growing up. 

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY:

JOHN’S ABUSE PITTED SAM AND DEAN AGAINST EACH OTHER

john saved dean after their shared trauma of mary’s death. dean says in season 1 that the reason he stopped talking was that he was scared. iirc john’s journal implies he was mute for over a year, and dean in season 2 says that when he was 6 or 7 his dad took him shooting for the first time. if mary died just before dean’s fifth birthday, the timeline works out to dean talking again because john took him shooting. i believe that dean hero worships his father because after mary’s death, and dealing with the terror that something like that could come in and take his family away by killing them horribly at any time without any warning, john learning to fight back against the darkness - and teaching dean to do the same - is what gave dean his voice again. BOTH of them saw and carried the memory of mary burning on the ceiling for the rest of their lives. “watch out for sammy” and “get the thing that killed mom” were dean’s reasons to get up in the morning, because they were john’s reasons to get up in the morning. these things were LITERALLY his reasons for living. john gave dean a way to fight back against fear and gave him a cause to keep him going. abuse or not, dean never stopped being grateful for that, and he was the only other person in the whole world who understood the unique horror of what john went through that night. even all the way into season 10, he tells other people that john did right by him. it’s borderline brainwashing. part of dean’s self-worth will always be based on how good of a son he was to john.

on the other hand, knowingly or not, john did everything possible to alienate sam. he kept him on a short leash while also keeping him at arm’s distance. he didn’t trust sam with emotional things like the memory of mary, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about monsters and what they did for a living, he didn’t trust sam with his plans, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about demon blood. canon STRONGLY suggests john knew YED bled in sam’s mouth as a baby, but instead of telling sam or even dean about that, sam had to learn about it in a horrible flashback recreated by YED himself. when sam wanted to go to school, john told him no, and when he left anyway, john told him not to come back.

this is an equal but opposite kind of abuse. john totally fucked up BOTH his kids in complete inversions to each other.

which means that, no matter what john did, it caused sam and dean to fight. this isn’t an interpretation. this is straight up canon.

again, dean says in s14 that he frequently took dad’s side in arguments because he had his own stuff to deal with, and he was trying to keep the peace. dean, a victim of emotional (and implied sometimes physical) abuse himself, was not able to shield sam from all of john’s bullshit. he could stop sam from getting hit and having to see john during the worst of his drunken rages, but he couldn’t trick sam into thinking john loved him unconditionally, because john didn’t love either of his kids unconditionally.

when john acted in a way that was not befitting of a parent, sam rightfully took exception, which forced dean (who was ALSO BEING ABUSED, almost brainwashed) to jump to his defense. that led to john getting to do whatever the hell he wanted and sam and dean arguing about the effects. when sam ran away in flagstaff, DEAN was punished, leading dean to resenting sam for that incursion, even though sam was perfectly right to want to get away from an abusive household. when sam did a normal thing wanting to leave for college at age 18, he left, and dean resented him for that because that meant he was alone to bear the brunt of john’s anger. 

sam repeatedly made logical, emotionally healthy choices in attempting to break the family dynamic, but because of JOHN’S BEHAVIOR, not sam’s, those choices wound up causing dean harm. JOHN HIMSELF was the ultimate wedge between sam and dean growing up and beyond.

and let’s not forget the biggest sin - john spent 22 years impressing upon dean that taking care of sammy was EVERYTHING, and then without any explanation at all, he asked dean to kill him, and then he DIED, which meant dean had to carry that weight by himself (because again, he’s been trained not to trust sam with things). like of COURSE sam got angry when he found out - that’s fucking fucked up! once again sam is being treated like a ticking time bomb for absolutely no reason - he didn’t ask to have demon blood or psychic visions or a dead mom or an abusive father. nor did dean ask to be saddled with the upbringing of an entire human at four years old who he then might have to kill. because dean will always feel gratitude towards john, and sam will always feel resentment, and because based on john’s treatment of them BOTH OF THESE FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED, john continues to cause fights between sam and dean long after he’s dead and gone, and that will never change.

on a final note: i’d like to bring this around to season 13.

after cas, mary, kelly, and crowley all die (or are presumed dead in mary’s case) in the season 12 finale, season 13 opens with nobody but sam and dean and jack. dean directly blames jack for these deaths. he says so multiple times. he says where jack can hear him that he knows jack is evil and impure and cannot be saved and calls jack a freak. when jack tries repeatedly to kill himself dean says to jack’s face not to bother, because WHEN jack does go bad, dean will be the one to kill him. dean does NOT see jack as castiel’s child - he sees jack as someone who brainwashed cas and kelly both and got them killed. dean does not even see jack as a human person worthy of life. from the get-go, all he wants is to put jack down. jack is born into a world shaped by pain and grief and anger, where people hate him simply for what he is and who died to get him here. 

and again, sam identifies hard with jack. he justifiably protests dean’s treatment of him. jack is a kid and didn’t ask for any of this. jack is terrified of dean. sam reminds dean that john said all these things about sam that dean is saying about jack. john is still causing a rift between his sons over a decade after his death.

eventually, after jack uses his powers and brings back cas from the empty, dean pulls his head out of his ass and admits that he was wrong. he calls jack his kid more than once, and jack refers to dean as one of his dads. but the damage has already been done. jack struggles multiple times with his powers, accidentally hurting people and then wishing himself dead after. he also struggles without them; even when using his powers means using up pieces of his soul, he does it, because dean taught him that he’s only worthy of being loved and trusted if he’s “good.” even when he has NO SOUL, when jack does something bad he panics about it and seeks to undo it at any cost. that’s how deep the damage runs.

i see a lot of people remarking that in the arc of 13.01-13.05, dean became john, and i agree that he did. but dean didn’t do to jack what john did to him. dean did to jack what john did to SAM.

[spn masterpost]

[artanddaddyissues]

What the M6 Think After Settling Down With You.

Guys this is so cute and mushy- I was in my feels and I needed some fluffy content :) Now you have fluffy content :))

WARNINGS: fluff, angst? (not really), spoilers for Lucio + Julian + Muriel's upright ending

Asra

- Finally found someone that could keep up with him

- He loves your willingness to go on his little adventures, try new spells and potions together, learn new things, go to new places, etc...

- He does have a little bit of a "I thought I was helping you" problem, by holding some information back but you know he does it out of the good of his heart and that he wants to change

- You make him want to be a better person.

- He loves every part of you and every flaw. He cares deeply about you and would do anything for you.

- Overall a happy fluffy boy <3

Julian

- Poor boy never even dared to dream of this life. He thought it would be impossible.

- Somebody finally loves every part of him :,)

- Even though he never thought of a way to come back from his past mistakes, you helped him through and helped him to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

- Adventuring and keeping up with his clinic, an adorable pet dog, getting lost in the market searching for your magical ingredients, treating you to dates and being treated to dates.

- Overall, extremely happy with you and makes sure you know that.

Nadia

- Finally, someone by her side that she can trust

- somebody she can laugh and cry with

- somebody she can be vulnerable with

- somebody who will love her and help her grow

- somebody to lean on and ask for help

- Nadia appreciates you very much and dreams of all the future endeavors she will take you on, how she will spoil you and thank you for being such a good person in her life.

- She truly loves her life with you so much more. You make ruling a little better <3

Portia

- Portia adores all of you. How you balance her out, how you love to travel with her on her time off, how you help keep her priorities straight, etc...

- She never imagined she could balance a relationship and such a demanding job. But, in you came to prove her wrong.

- She loves her life more than anything and loves seeing you happy when you're beside her. <3

Muriel

- He never thought he could trust somebody until he met you

- His life now is something he never could have imagined in a million years. He can only see a life like this with you, nobody else can give him what you give him.

- Security? Trust? Unconditional love? You give that all and more.

- You travel yearly, taking time away from Vesuvia often to remote places. Sometimes it's a tropical island, a snowy village, his hometown, your hometown. Wherever you go, he just want to be with you

- He loves his life mor than anything, completely forgetting the lonely, scared man he once was before he met you <3

Lucio

- He never really imagined himself as anything other than Count. You gave him a new meaning to life

- He didn't have to prove himself anymore, he learned his worth with your help

- Travelling, collecting artifacts and ancient pieces of history is something he heard about in plays and stories so when he finally gets around to fulfilling his little dreams, he's over the moon at the fact that you're beside him.

- You helped Lucio grow tremendously and that's something he can only imagine you doing. <3

[beanieman]

How I Would Describe The YTTD Participants (This Is Just Writing Practice TBH)

Sara Chidouin - Sara is a girl youthful in years, and old in soul. At least, that’s how she would like to seem. She purposefully holds her posture tall and mature, but behind her unchangeable eyes is a childlike gleam revealing her young spirt. Unlike an unbreakable leader dawning a fancy suit or shielded by armor, her clothing is a simple school uniform. Her hair is just as relaxed, with a pony tail connected to sloppily cut bangs acting as her style. One who didn’t know her would say she looked remarkably like a simple adolescent, not as a leader eleven people have come to admire. 

Joe Tazuna -  Joe is a gaudy young man you can easily point out in a crowd. This seems to be his goal, as he takes to new people like a moth to a flame. Despite this he's often in the company of only a few people. His best friend, and the girl he has a crush on. This seems to be all the company he needs to stay content, though he never seems opposed to cheering up the new kid or making the school outcast laugh. In his pocket next to heart, he always carries around a small dog keychain, gifted to him by the best friend he adores so deeply.

Gin Ibushi - Gin is a short young man who can often be seen wearing a cat hoodie. It keeps the theme of his best friend, a small cat pillow named Mew-chan. It’s unknown when he got him, as the plushie is as neat as one found in the store. In only one glance you can tell the love he’s cared for the item with. Much like he loves those around him. He’s very protective of them, and those he knows feels the same way back. Easily, Gin could be described as someone most would die for in a heartbeat. But it isn’t because of his strength, no. It was because of his heart. His loyalty, kindness, and unconditional love.

More Undercut

Keiji Shinogi - Under the wrong lighting, Keiji Shinogi could look like a corpse. His skin is clammy, the only sign of life laying in the purple bags under his vacant eyes. His posture holds the illusion of aloofness, but his joints are stiff with exhausted movement. One can imagine the clunky way he cut his unevenly layered hair. Carmel eyes watch it fall down the sink, along with the bright yellow dye he uses to cover his brown roots. His clean hands tap against the sink’s rim, the feeling of a sticky red never leaving his palms. Those around him say it’s all in head, yet the crimson blood only he can see holds more hint of life then he’s felt in month’s. 

Alice Yabusame - A sharp gasp is the reaction most common to seeing the gaudy prisoner from across the street. It’s the tall muscler stature that takes most off guard, followed by sharp features befitting of a comic book villain. However, it’s not his face that holds his true nature, but his hands. He holds things with gentle precision. Every item is kept in an open palm, as if he worries he’ll break or stain what he comes into contact with. It’s a small detail the untrained eyes might miss, unlike the shockingly pink eyes of Alice, which are always twitching in observant movement. 

Reko Yabusame - The looks of Reko Yabusame are far from a good representation of her personality. Her dark attire doesn't dim the light shining from her soul. She wears a bright smile around those she cares for, emitting an aura of protectiveness that will no doubt calm those around her. However, when those same eyes lay on someone strong, they can glint with harshness. It's not a cruelty, just an expectation. One that she held since she was young, despite being much colder before the murder case. However you’d never know it with how much she’s changed. Now it’s hard to view her as anything other than a big sister type. 

Nao Egokoro - In everyway Nao has the feature’s of an artist. Her eyes are filled with a never leaving curiosity that seems to have taken up residence in her brain. Her movements, escpessally those in her hand, are delicate and precise. She is one with her brushes and canvas as though she was part of something greater, one wouldn't guess she was a student, but instead a professor well versed in the arts. Her passion is easy to tell  by what she makes, her work a true testament to her abilities and skills.

Kazumi Mishima - Mishima was an odd man in appearances alone. His hair was wild, as if a bolt of electricity coursing through his veins designed the style. The features of his face aren’t much better. His smiles are a little to wide and crooked, like an AI told to mimic an expression of joy. Eyes of unknown color are hidden behind circular glasses, the yellow color not matching his brown suit. If going by garments alone, he would look like the average educator. A dress shirt is tucked nicely under his suit, covered by a striped tie worthy of an art teacher. 

Q-taro Burgerberg - Q-Taro is a man with a staggeringly large build. He looks like a football player ready to take the field. However his heart lies in a baseball field where the grass is as green as the trim on his jacket and hat on his head. His jacket is the same color as the sun, and his jeans are the same color as the sky. His hair and eyes are the same color as the stiches on a baseball, with his shirt being only one shade darker. 

Kai Satou - One can tell Kai Satou holds many secrets. His eyes are as dark and dead as a starless night. His ebony hair frames his face in a way that obstructs the features most prominent on his slim face. His clothing is as dark as his eyes, the one expectation being a loud red apron stained with spots of worn use. It’s the only thing clinging to his frame that brings a splash of color to his being, and seemingly to odd for him to use without reason. It’s just another secret Kai keeps behind downward turned lips. One that he’ll take down to the grave. 

Kanna Kizuchi -  Kanna is a girl as delicate as a flower. When she cries, it's tears of pure emotion that pour like rain. When she laughs, those around her see the bright sun. When she walks through the grass with her head held high and a bounce to her step, no one can find fault in the joy she brings. Those around her often tend to her with care and help her bloom. And bloom she does. Her will, despite diminishing in moments, comes back strong and fierce.  She fights for the things that matter to her and doesn't ever give up on them. In that way she's a dandelion growing between cracks in concrete, flourishing, even with the circumstances around her.

Shin Tsukimi - Shin is a tired man. You can see it in the bags lying under his teal eyes on his young looking face. For a man who’s old enough to hack any system, it fails to show in his impulsive and skittish personality. He says either to much or to little. His words are never enough to know him, but more than enough to resent him. It’s only those with the softest hearts that can see through his walls built with titanium to get a glance to a more accurate version of himself. There’s a weakness only he sees imbedded to his kindness. A trait that’s as soft as a heated blanket on a warm winters night. It’s the best part about him when he’s not presenting the worst. 

[blacklabmom2]

🐾🐾❤🐾🐾🖤🐾🐾❤🐾🐾🖤🐾🐾❤🐾🐾

[heyheydidjaknow]

Original Ask: Do you think you can do bayverse tmnt turtles for Leo, raph, donnie, Mikey as its goes like this , they were raised by the shredder as they're father died after their mutation as he didn't make it out the fire , they all the best foot clan soldier and obedient dogs they are and satisfied the shredder and they are given access to their pleasure and women , when they are doing a crime , they come across (s/o) , who she is just walking and gets robbed by a gang and the turtles come to the rescue and they start a liking of (s/o), who treats them kindly but they want to break her and make them theirs , as kidnapping her and forcing her into sexual acts with them as they want her all for themselves

I cut this one a bit shorter than I might have because I wanted to actually be able to release it with the others. It’s also a bit more innocent than the others, but that isn’t saying much. I might continue this one on my own time, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. The other parts of this request are linked at the end.

Note that the following content contains stalking, kidnapping, and other content you may find disturbing. Discretion is advised.

Donatello

He was not particularly good at fighting, had little passion for it, and never claimed otherwise. He had little place amongst his brothers, but use amongst the Foot. There were reasons for him not to leave, not the least of which being that the only people he knew were there, and if he did leave he had nowhere to go. Unlike his brothers, he was acutely aware of the legal ramifications of their involvement with the Foot; there were worse things, he supposed, than having to be involved in this sort of thing under the condition of not getting caught. Personality-wise, he was colder, but the burning curiosity was still there, fueled by his master’s willingness to embrace the future and his need for a good accountant. He had never been stronger than his siblings, but he was naturally stronger than humans and made do with what he could, and though his guardian– not father, he knew, never father– was not particularly keen with his overthinking, he respected education and technology enough to allow him the resources necessary to do a lot of the more math and science-oriented work he excelled at, though his advancements scientifically were typically more to do with biochemistry than mechanical engineering. As a result of all this, he rarely went out on missions, only really being called in to talk to other people outside of his brothers for training purposes (the old adage proved true; he made a fine teacher.)

It got lonely. He would be the first to admit it. The only one who would talk to him was Michelangelo, the other two considering themselves too above him to waste their time. Though he was not a social creature by nature, there was something disheartening, even to him, about spending almost every waking hour surrounded on all sides by screens, working for more for the sake of working than any definitive, tangible purpose outside of a short-sighted dream. He enjoyed what he did, sure, but he quickly came to understand that this alone was not sufficient in fulfilling all of his needs, socially speaking. YouTube videos and meal breaks only counted for so much, and even if he were to indulge in the women he was allowed, in his mind, it was about as pointless as curbing hunger with cotton balls, like curbing thirst with a coffee; momentary satisfaction with no substance. If he were to buy a woman, he understood, the odds of her loving him were near nonexistent.

That was what he was looking for. Not love, necessarily, but something akin to what he understood it to be as derived from pirated movies, articles, and videos: unconditional romantic affection derived from character as opposed to accomplishment. If he were to get in any sort of relationship with the women who wanted him, he understood, that would be essentially impossible, since no woman in her right mind would consciously decide to love an Oroku. This fact, that this seemingly paramount human experience was one he would personally be unable to ever have, was disheartening, but not cripplingly so. He saw it a bit like death: an unfortunate inevitably completely out of his control, but not the worst thing in the world. It was not so much a painful absence as it was an uncomfortable one, one that his brothers coped in other ways that he just happened to find largely insufficient.

He started using chat rooms when he was relatively young out of sexual curiosity. He thought, at the time, that he could imitate sex anonymously as well any normal person would. Of course, it never went anywhere, but on occasion– once, every six months or so, when the isolation got to him– he would return to the sites he had visited with the pretense of seeing what had changed since he had last logged on. One of the sites he had found and used was a chat-roulette style anonymous room in which you would simply type in your basic information and a user name and begin rolling for partners. It was on one of these nostalgic revisits that he met you, unique in the fact that you had sent a greeting as opposed to the customary “asl?” common amongst the chatroom community. It had been a lovely conversation about a movie you had recently watched that he was familiar with, the first of its kind in quite some time, and had gone so well, in your opinion, that you wanted to continue it. You offered him contact information via a third-party messaging system he was personally unfamiliar with and offered to talk to him again.

Messaging you quickly became an integral part of his daily routine. Every night, at around seven, he would message you, and more often than not, you messaged back within the hour. Your conversations were hardly ground-breaking to him, mostly regarding media the two of you were familiar with, but they were extraordinary in their innocuousness, in how relaxed they were. He told you as much, and after a month or so of you messaging him unprompted by anything but tradition, you introduced him to your online friends. You invited him into group chats. They thought he was odd– you knew most of them in real life– but you had gone so far as to vouch for him. “He’s shy is all,” you teased, not understanding what it meant to him that you bothered. “Enjoy it while it lasts. When he starts talking, he cannot shut up.” Pretty soon, he had something akin to friends, if only for your sake, and while your group and he mixed as well as oil and water, he was allowed and welcomed with arms more open than he was used to. This investment in your conversations only grew when, after about a month, you had your first call. If you recognized his voice, you did not say, and though the first call was possibly the tensest of his life, after that, it became as natural as breathing, talking to you.

He explained it to a transfixed Mikey, once. “Talking to her,” he had sighed, a smile spreading slowly across his face, “ just makes sense.”

The thought had first crossed his mind on a Tuesday night. He remembered specifically that it was a Tuesday because a restaurant you happened to frequent gave you a discount on Tuesdays, a prospect which delighted you to no end. Unlike most nights, however, you had deemed the walk – by your estimate, ten minutes– to be a stupid use of energy, and ordered in. This in itself would have been unremarkable had it not been that you had never used their delivery service before and had, thus, made the order over the phone, and for you to receive your food, you needed to give the restaurant your address. Half an hour later, you received your food– or, anyways, you vocalized as much– and the conversation went on as normal.

That night, after the two of you had signed off, working on a neurotoxin Shredder had requested, he found himself drifting back to the call, the address. He had not left his laboratory in quite some while, so his knowledge of the streets above was somewhat limited, but he knew where you were. It was not particularly far, about a half-hour walk on a busy night, twenty of a slower one. So long as progress was made, he knew, he would hardly be penalized for taking a break, for walking around. It was not as if he was being held against his will; he could, if he so chose, walk to where you lived, just to get an idea of what your life was like beyond the screen. You thought he lived in Montana. You would never need to know he was there.

He shut it down at first. A part of him was worried that you might have been lying to him, or that he might be careless and get caught. If you found out, you might stop talking to him. You would hate him.

Minds that can stand to stare at test tubes, spreadsheets, and code for long periods, however, were hardly made to simply let things go.

After about a month, on a day in which his experiments needed little personal monitoring, on a Friday night, he convinced you to try to stay up for the sake of seeing how long you could go. It was not the most elaborate or well-thought-out excuse in the world to make sure that you were asleep, but he was confident in his ability to outlast you, and sure enough, you were out before he even had to reach for caffeine. Finding your address was about as simple as he had imagined it to be, and though finding which window would give him a decent look at you without arousing the suspicions of anyone else who happened to pass by proved to be a bit of a challenge, he managed well enough.

He thought your voice matched your appearance. He had asked you basic questions in the past– hair color, eye color and symbolism, things like that– but he never would have expected that you looked so real, and though there were certain aspects of you that he was simply unable to see due to distance, he could not help but drink in the sight of you.

Your name was not hard to find online. He was not the computer wizard he might have been, but he was still comfortable enough around electronics to figure it out. He did not visit every night. He had things to do, numbers, and tests to run, and he hardly had the free time to check on you that often. He considered installing a camera somewhere, but thought better of it; while installing it and connecting it would be easy enough, he was unsure that he would be able to find a place where you would not find it, and he hardly wanted to make you paranoid. As often as he could afford to go, however, he saw you. Sometimes you were awake, headphones on, and oblivious to all but what was on your computer, others you were fast asleep. If he was feeling particularly daring, he would go so far as to watch you while the two of you talked or messaged. He never went into your home on these visits– he considered that a step too far– but that hardly discouraged him any. He would not personally call himself “addicted to you” in the same way that songs seemed to always advertise, but Donnie would be the first to admit that the transition from a warm sort of affection towards you to the undeniable romantic attraction was not a gradual one. Love– or whatever this was– certainly did feel a lot like falling, and the shift promoted what he decided to call a hyper fixation.

“You should just take her.”

His fingers paused over his keyboard, processing what his brother had just said. “What?”

“You should just take her,” his younger brother repeated, a cadence similar to that of someone telling their friend to “shoot their shot”. “Grab her, carry her over, and keep her here.”

“I can’t kidnap her.” The laugh that bubbled in his throat was one of incredulity. “That’s– that’s ridiculous! Why would I– why would you even suggest that?”

If he was joking, Michelangelo was very good at hiding it. “What’s stopping you?”

“The law,” Donnie snarked back, ignoring how his heart leaped at the idea. “It’s illegal, and women apparently don’t take too kindly to it, so all it would do was make her dislike me or get me arrested.”

He chuckled at that. “I thought you said we’re doomed if we get found out anyway!” He walked over to him, flicking him as he hopped onto his older brother’s desk. “The only reason you don’t is that you’re scared that she’s not gonna like you,”

“Am not!”

“Are too.” He grinned, draping his feet over his older sibling’s backrest. “You know who didn’t think he’d get the girl at the end?”

It was moments like these when he regretted sharing his interests. “Who, Mikey?”

“Mark from BJD. And you know who got the girl at the end of that movie?”

You would hate him. “Mark.”

“Mark.” He removed his legs, folding them with a complete disregard for the papers strewn about it. “And girls totally dig that movie! That actor is in a ton of romantic movies, and you know why, Donnie?”

Even if it would be a dream come true for him, you would hate him. “Why?”

“Because he was willing to go for her even if she didn’t know he wanted her.” He slipped off the desk, and his brother, lost in thought, barely noticed the papers that slid onto the floor.

“She’d…” He shut himself down. “We aren’t human. There’s a difference.”

“Beauty and the Beast.” Mikey counted on his fingers. “Twilight. When has a lack of humanity ever stopped anyone?”

An indescribable sort of warmth filled him. “We’re criminals,” he mumbled, more to himself than his brother. “We can’t... I can’t…”

“You know how many women would kill to be with us?” He slipped his hands into his pockets. “Many. Chicks totally dig bad boys, and yeah, sure, maybe you don’t do much–”

“The hell I don’t.”

“-- But you’re still an Oroku, son of the leader of the infamous Foot Clan.” His voice lowered as he leaned his elbows against the desk, watching his brother’s face. “And, hey? At least it would objectively not be the worst thing you’ve ever done.”

Michelangelo never brought it up again. Neither did he. About a month later, he ran out of excuses not to. A month after that, he took you.

The order was not questioned. They would have to be suicidal to question the intentions of an Oroku.

The first couple of weeks were the worst. For lack of a place to put you, he kept you in his lab, blindfolded, strapped to a metal chair he had designed a week in advance. It was hardly comfortable, and he regretted not having someplace nicer to keep you, but it served its purpose. You stayed put, and that was what was important at that point. The first day was distressing for you if your cries and pleas for help were any indicators, but he thought better of giving you something to calm you down. You needed to adjust on your own; sedatives were to only be used if absolutely necessary. Mikey, ever the extrovert, proved to be rather helpful as the days went on. He was more than willing to talk to you while his brother worked, to ease you into feeling something akin to comfort, and over the course of the week, you screamed less and less.

On day nine, he talked to you. Same time as was customary before. He had brought you all your meals, helped you with blood circulation and other necessary actions, but he had not talked to you for fear you would hate him. You had stopped screaming, though; he hoped you would be at least a bit more receptive, after all this time.

He knelt before you, then, having asked Mikey to leave them. He did not protest, giving a thumbs up on his way out. Gently, he bowed, letting himself be cradled in your thighs. It was the first time he had touched you, laying his head on your lap. If you minded this simple show of affection, you did not vocalize it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, absent. You were so warm.

He was unsure if you heard.

His eyes rose to yours, obscured by the blindfold. “I should have planned better,” he admitted, a smile ghosting across his face. “It all happened so fast; you deserve better.”

You were shaking.

He rose to his feet, forearm pressed into the backrest of your chair. Carefully, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Why are you crying?” A free hand cupped your face, lifting the blindfold just enough so that he could wipe your tears away. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

If he was farther away, he would not have heard your question. “Why?” you breathed. “I don’t understand. Why would you do this?”

His brow furrowed. “Are you scared?”

Your breathing stuttered.

He pulled away slightly. It was inevitable. Change was hard. You would come around.

You just needed time.

Leonardo

Raphael

Michelangelo

Previous Works

[kalinara]

One thing I find myself mulling over is girl talk and the Diamond Dogs.

At the beginning of the season, Ted is introduced to the concept of girl talk.  He’s surprised and delighted by the idea that they might chat about things that happen without the need to find a solution.

By the end of the season, Roy is pleasantly surprised that the sometimes the Diamond Dogs chat about things that happen, without the need to find a solution.

I love the parallel, but also, I think that it’s a sign of very subtle growth for all of the men involved.  Because in season one, and the beginning of season two, the Diamond Dogs WERE about finding solutions.  Granted, the solutions were mostly “cut yourself some slack” and “get over it”.  But still, they represent something that the advice-seeker has to do.  A change in action rather than feeling.

At some point in season two, this changes.  I don’t think it’s necessarily a conscious change, so much as the Diamond Dogs are finally encountering issues that can’t be fixed.  

The last big Diamond Dogs meeting that I remember them calling was in the Signal, when Higgins is concerned about Beard and Jane.  He wants the Diamond Dogs to do something.  To talk to Beard about it.  And for their own reasons, neither Nate or Ted are willing to do that.  Higgins tries.  And Beard listens, thanks him genuinely, hugs him...and goes off with Jane anyway.  

Beyond that, there’s really nothing the Diamond Dogs can do.  Beard is an adult.  He’s a willing participant in his relationship with Jane.  MAYBE he would listen to Ted, where he doesn’t with Higgins.  But maybe not.  And Ted may not be willing to risk it.  Right now, Beard comes back to Ted after his crazy, scary adventures.  But maybe he won’t, if he thinks he’ll be judged for it.

I think that’s where the Diamond Dogs shift over into something different.  Something healthier in the long run.  Where Roy can come to them and say “I feel bad about this.”  And they can just offer understanding and support.  (I think maybe if season 1 Ted had been able to go to THIS group of Diamond Dogs to talk about Sassy, he might have gotten a different response.)

And Roy says “cool”, because Roy ties with Higgins as the male character with the healthiest grasp of his own feelings.

And I think it’s telling that Nate looks so annoyed and uncomfortable now.  Nate, I think, is very much a victim of toxic masculinity.  He hasn’t been able to talk about his issues with his father, his feelings of abandonment, his hurt and embarrassment over his past bullying or everything else going on.  And he’s suffered from that.  

I remember how Nate was the only one who didn’t confess something at Man City.  And I think a lot of people saw it as a bit of a power play.  And maybe it was, but it’s more sad than anything else.  Nate passed up a chance for the same unconditional acceptance that the others got to share with their confessions.  And Nate is the one character that really could have used it.  Just like he would have definitely benefited from some time in Dr. Sharon’s office.

Likewise, Nate has never called a meeting of the Diamond Dogs.  At first, because the Dogs were there to deal with relationship problems, and Nate doesn’t have a significant other.  And now, he’s unable to appreciate what they can offer him.

[geekthefreakout]

The Thing With Silco (love, evil, and trauma)

My brother and I were debating, between the end of Act 1 and Act 3, about whether Silco truly loved Jinx. He was very firmly "He genuinely cares for her." while I was less sure. I thought Silco would love Powder/Jinx the best he could, but it would be like a gunman loves his favorite gun, or at best the way a man loves his attack dog. I thought he'd love her until she bit him, love her until she really cost him something... I thought he'd turn on her, because after all the trauma of his past and the way he used and sacrificed people in Act 1 like pawns and that he's, you know... a drug dealer, crime lord, and generally bad dude that he wouldn't be capable of really loving anyone.

I was wrong.

He loved Jinx. He loved her as his daughter, even more than he himself thought was possible-- when he talks to Vander's statue in Act 3, he can hardly believe it himself, the way he is being offered everything he's ever wanted and how he's going to turn it away because the cost of getting it is his daughter's freedom and possibly her life. He loved her enough to be loyal, he loved her enough to forgive her when she killed him. He believed in her strength whole heartedly, not just as his weapon but as her own person.

That said... he did not love her in a way that was healthy. I don't think he could. He loved her in that possessive way that only the extremely insecure can manage. He was emotionally manipulative towards her the moment he thought he could lose her to Vi. He was so focused on seeing himself in her (because that's what traumatized people, good and bad, do- they project their trauma onto others) that he didn't invest in helping Powder grow past her own extreme trauma or get her help for her mental health... because he never grew past his own trauma. And, I believe, knowing full well that no one else would give Jinx the unconditional acceptance that he did. Silco's concept of love was just... all-consuming, nearly blind loyalty, regardless of the loved one's actions.

So he enabled Powder's transformation into Jinx, enabled Jinx's self (and not-self) destructive tendencies, because he never wanted her to waver away from him or to grow beyond him... because then he would be alone. Even as he died, he needed to know she would still love him as completely as he loved her, so even in forgiving her he called her perfect... still enabling all the worst parts of her. He wanted to be sure that bridge with Vi stayed burnt.

Tl;dr: Silco may have loved Jinx to the point of sacrificing his life's work for her, but he was still bad man and made sure she became the most monstrous version of herself. Their relationship was unhealthy af.