#than the fire around me' quote which was from a video game & was meant literally

[kellyvela]

One of my favorite things about Dani and her fans is how much they have romanticized dragons and unironically feed into the mother of dragons title and will literally treat those three lizards like they are her 'children.' Like, they don't know that considering fire breathing lizards that can only destroy as your children is probably not a great thing in their fave's arc lol.

Let me answer you with GRRM's words, from the comment section of his blog post "Coolest Dragons Ever" (Feb. 10th, 2014).

George's ranking of the Cooles Dragons Ever is:

Vermithrax Pejorative (From Dragonslayer)

Smaug (From The Hobbit)

Drogon (From Asoiaf)

In the comments, a couple of readers argued that "Draco" (From Dragonheart) was "the nicest dragon ever" and "the most friendly and charming dragon."

This was GRRM's answer to them:

"Yes, but dragons are not meant to be friendly or charming"

So, lets add this quote to the list:

Dragons are the nuclear deterrent, and only Dany has them —GRRM - Vulture - 2011

Yes, but dragons are not meant to be friendly or charming —Coolest Dragons Ever" (Feb. 10th, 2014)

She[Dany]'s the mother of dragons, and she controls what is in effect the only three nuclear weapons in the entire world that I’ve created. —“Interview exclusive de George R R Martin, l'auteur de Game Of Thrones” de -Le Mouv’- 2014 - [Transcription]

If I were Daenerys Targaryen. I could ride on my dragons and eliminate them in the flames. But is death the only solution we have to offer? —Lire Magazine - April 2015

“Oh sure, dragons are cool too,” he chuckles. “But maybe not on our doorstep”. —The Guardian - November 2018

Maybe if she[Dany] understood a few things more about dragons and her own history in Essos, things would have gone a little differently. —Esquire - November 2018

“I have tried to make it explicit in the novels that the dragons are destructive forces, and Dany (Daenerys Targaryen) has found that out as she tried to rule the city of Meereen and be queen there. (...) “She has the power to destroy, she can wipe out entire cities, and we certainly see that in ‘Fire and Blood,’ we see the dragons wiping out entire armies, wiping out towns and cities, destroying them, but that doesn’t necessarily enable you to rule — it just enables you to destroy.” —GRRM - Fox News Channel - November 2018

"In my head the expression "mother of dragons" is much better than "father of dragons". There is also this link with the woman who gives life, who transmits lives, carrying a gigantic power of death, of fire, of destruction. There are very powerful metaphors in there." —Dragons! (2/4) Dragons d'Occident, la figure du mal [2018] - Video - Reddit translation

Now dragons are really formidable and they can turn the tide of a battle. It flies, it's difficult to hit, it breathes fire, against which most knights and men at arms have little or no protection. So if you have dragons, that's were the nuclear option analogy comes in. You're hard to mess around with. So the dragons and fear of dragons was one of the things that made the Targaryens very secure in their power. —Before the Dance: An Illustrated History with George R.R. Martin | House of the Dragon (HBO) - August - 2022

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Read more here:

Chronicle of a Death Foretold

Queen of Ashes

All Grrm Quotes About Dragons

[kirchefuchs]

(I have successfully overanalyzed the Infinite Hole Ending :D ALSO THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION BTW– the one that's like this below this is the unedited :D just delete that one shshs, not this one :]) sooooo upon the first 2 and a half minutes, I noticed a lil thingy that may have been a plothole.

You know how The Narrator constantly says/mentions that he himself made the game? That he was the only one who created everything — Stanley included (this is also directly said in the TSPUD trailer/release video)? Not sure if this is just me overthinking again (probably is) but there's this line in the Infinite Hole ending that immediately caught my attention;

"Oh. Did the hole seem even shorter to you, this time? I couldn't help but feel like you spent a little less time in there than you did before."

Now, me, being your local overthinker, decides that this implies one of the three things listed below;

1) The Narrator is very forgetful.

2) He's just a really good actor.

3) That was Timekeeper's doing.

(I'm not leaning to the 3rd option more wdym hahaha–)

Think about it, Ceres — think about the New Content Door, the Confusion Ending, the– the myriad of random occurrences that even The Narrator isn't fully aware about. If you were to take everything to a more serious approach, wouldn't you agree that a person who has spent a long long time in perfecting their game should at least remember every little detail and thought that went into it? Think about it! There's beta testing, alpha testing– heck, because he seems to claim to have created everything, wouldn't that mean that technically he would have had to look through every little thing (plus the texturing!! THE TEXTURES!!) and end up accidentally remembering every little detail? Isn't that why he has a script? (headcanon >) It's because he's already memorized the entire map, he just can't memorize a bunch of endings that revolve around the map. But do you know who does(according to the fandom)?

Timekeeper!

All the little changes to the map, Ceres! The New Content Door, the infinite hole slowly getting less and less infinite, the progress board at the quote-on-quote "end" of the Confusion Ending! If you were to take every little detail and glitch and something-something (you get what I mean) in a more serious approach, wouldn't you say that they were rather odd and inexplicable unless if you add Timekeeper into the mix?

Translation: I just really wanna give them some content </3

BUT ANYWHO BACK TO THE INFINITE HOLE ENDING

not me adding the "every ending can be perceived as a way of divorce" concept in here but aha– this piece of dialogue got me fired up ok

"I'm out! Goodbye, Stanley! You couldn't bear to be away from the hole and now you get more time with it than you could have ever have asked for. It's a win for everyone! You get to be with the hole, I get to do literally anything else. Take care, Stanley. I hope you and the hole have a wonderful rest of eternity together."

Do I need to explain this? Does this piece of dialogue need to be explained? Really, does it require such a lengthy explanation for it to be fully understood by you lot? I don't think so! The Narrator is just very jealous over a hole. How sad. ..and gay.

SO! By the time The Narrator is gone, Stanley is like "weLp time to hallucinate."

But then lemme just mention what I said beforehand

"The Narrator claims to have made everything, which also includes Stanley"

...bro??

this implies that The Narrator made the whole scene

This includes the dramatic music, the backgrounds, the random buttons that do lots of funny but mildly useless stuff, and guess what? Also the alternative drawings/appearances of ✨Stanley✨

I dunno abt u guys, but I like to genuinely think that The Narrator created everything (not in an irl sense, i meant it as in "He made The Stanley Parable canonically, not in reality" kind of way :D) simply because it gives a lot of Stannarrator opportunities.. huehuehue

but uhhh that's all for my rant!! :D (I deeply enjoyed this lmao)

ANYWHOO I HOPE THIS WAS,,, idk,, mildly coherent at least ☠

TOODLESSS!! UNTIL NEXT TIMEE

— 🅰️non || 05/12/2023

Oooo gotta love some good ol made up Timekeeper lore. I love the idea of TK messing with various things in the Parable without Narry knowing. But yeah, the whole contradictions thing where you can't really tell if the Narrator made the game or not is partly why I think he didn't and was just imbued with memories to make him think the did, even though he really doesn't have all that much control over what happens in the Parable. But that's just me, lol.

[emdotcom]

Made (bad?) motivational images out of quotes that bounce around in my skull like the DVD screensaver.

“Felix. I need you to pick up the phone. Now.” -- Jack Walten, the Walten Files.

“Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is such a thing possible? A curse that changes your past?” -- ???, Petscop

“Like a thunderclap to a small dog... I felt a strange powerlessness... Countless wonderful things were happening... ‘I want to be kinder.” -- Toby Fox I had to horribly misrepresent this quote to get it to fit. GO read the full post where they say this.

“There’s just no peace for me, anymore.” -- Wolverine, X-Men: The Animated Series (1992-1997)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #400

“it’s an age-old story: the first will be last, and the last will be kings  /  the small will be great, and the great will be weak”

Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom; I thank her every time she cooks for me/us, and I really do mean it. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Somewhere around a month. What was the last thing to really surprise you? My brother has a fiancee and is having another son! :') Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Idk about anything notable. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. What is the last thing you had a craving for? A donut. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? It's so rare that I buy things with my own cash that I really don't know. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? Venus' terrarium on my own. Mom has to help me with buying it. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I don’t cook, so. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? More than anything, I get sad over how much weight I've gained. I was so healthy once upon a time. It also just makes me miss my childhood. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I believe it was about setting up an appointment with my therapist. How do you get your news? Facebook articles, really. What do you think about lizards? I love them! I was that kid that always tried to catch them when I saw 'em. Now I just observe because I don't want to terrify them by trying to pick them up. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No, but sure, I'd do it. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The time I received morphine, it did jack-all for me. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm... I would say Azeroth from World of Warcraft, but too much shit goes down, ha ha. Perhaps the top of the temple in Shadow of the Colossus? So long as I could have someone I love with me, I'd be in Heaven. Although... I doubt there's WiFi there, so I might drop that answer, lmfao. I really don't know. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Day. I need the natural light of day sometimes, and if I wanted to sleep, I could just find shade. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Fantasy. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s one thing that you wish was real? Friendly dragons, haha. Is there anything (show, comedian, etc.) that you constantly quote or make references to? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have absolutely no idea. I don't even remember almost any of them. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, sometimes. I genuinely don't mind her. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? I'm torn between the violin, harp, and piano. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, by a year. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? A lot, actually. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? I have these tictacs I keep in my purse in case of a dry mouth. Medication makes me have that severely, and my psychiatrist recommended me to always have a hard candy available to suck on since it forces salivation. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? My younger sister, badly. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They're all dead, but they lived in far away states. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? None. It's a bad idea to keep chips in this house, haha. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Well, I was born with dirty blonde hair like my dad, but my hair is thick and more similar in color now to my mom's before the cancer completely drained the color. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH MY GOD LA;KSDJFAKLWJE I DON'T KNOW I LOOK AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Teared up, yes, multiple times. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but that's the extent of it. If you were adopted, would you want to know? At this point in my life, I don't really know. I kinda find myself leaning towards no. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman sure does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? I want to say that was the night before I was getting my tattoo redone. Do you own any flip-flops? Yeah, considering they're like... all I wear, ever. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) It was the only lucid dream I've ever had and I'm not complaining about it lmao. Have you ever had a dream that upset you or made you cry? Oh I'm sure. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not to my recollection, no, and I don't believe you should ever adopt that mentality and say that to someone. Do you own a laser? No. Is there anything you like to put on a sandwich, that some might find odd? Nah. I do enjoy a layer of potato chips on some sandwiches, like ham and cheese, but I know that's like an actual thing some people just like. What colour are the shoes you wear most often? They're black flip-flops. When was the last time you were required to put on a mask? In the morning when I go to the TMS office. And what colour was the last mask you wore? It's one of those normal blue and white medical ones. The last time you were in a queue, what were you waiting for? To see the woman who would give me my APAP mask. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes, Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? None for the first shot, but my second shot bruised badly and I felt seriously shitty the following day. I was perfectly fine afterwards, though. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara has an AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING voice. When was the last time you wore make-up, if ever? What shades/colours? I don't even remember, but I'm sure it would've been black. What is something that seems popular, but doesn't interest you personally? Fashion, various TV shows, etc... Are you clumsy or graceful? I am STUPID clumsy. Like it's just ridiculous. Do you like gloves? I like fingerless gloves. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did as a kid. Do you ever say "OMG" in person? No; it's a random pet peeve of mine, "Internet talk" irl. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Dad, no idea. Mom, uhhhh. Not "mad," but "annoyed" probably better fits how she felt about me leaving the heating pad I use for my cramps on the floor. Do your pets have favorites? I'm definitely Roman's favorite seeing as he is my literal shadow, and I'd assume Venus trusts me more than anyone else, but realistically, she's in contact with almost no one else, so. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? The first guy to have the title of "boyfriend" was Aaron, and I broke up with him 'cuz I just wasn't as romantically into him as I thought I might be. It was puppy-dog love, and I feel I knew that. My first *real* boyfriend was Jason, who broke up with me because my mental illnesses began to affect his wellbeing. Which I now accept is fine, but he seriously coulda gone about things differently... When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Late into my teenage years; idk the exact age and don't feel like doing the math. Teddy kept peeing on the bed to where it was just unrecoverable and needed to be thrown away. My current bed is comfy enough. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? My absolute favorite was digging tunnels in the sandbox, pretending to be a meerkat. The only trend I ever created, haha, seeing as my classmates got into it with me, allowing us to make huge tunnel systems. It was really cool. I also liked playing 4 Square (which I now don't even remember the details of) on the basketball court. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driver's ed instructor and the guy who was on the same route as me. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? N/A Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any as pets? I'm picky with dogs. I like interacting with any dog, but I don't plan on ever owning another. I don't like how hyper they can be, and I prefer more independent pets, like cats. Basically, I'll be hyped to meet a random dog on the street and give it some loving, but I don't want to take it home to be my own. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No. I cannot stand elitists. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? And I hate gatekeeping in fandoms even more. There are varying intensities of "being a fan," but regardless, if you like something, congratulations, you're a valid, "real" fan. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I don't pay attention to this, honestly. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? I'll wear either, but without is way more comfortable. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? God no. What length do you like your shorts to be? I don’t wear shorts. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Warcraft, but not because it was bad. I've talked before how in the theater, the orcs' voices were just so fucking baritone that I couldn't understand almost ANYTHING they said. Kinda ruined the experience for me. What was the last disappointing book you read? Don't recall. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Very rarely. If I do, they're mostly of animals being silly. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Probably Dory, but idk. There's WAY too many options to fish through.

[benisasoftboi]

Gushing time.

Rune Factory 4 Special arrived a day early, so my entire day has been consumed in nostalgia. The original Rune Factory 4 was the first video game I ever bought on release day - I remember saving up all my money and making my mum drive me to like three different shops trying to find one that had it. I was already a fan of the franchise - before then, Rune Factory 3 had been my favourite video game, across the board. Aside from a playthrough of the first game last year, I haven’t played a Rune Factory game in a long time, certainly not RF4. But just starting up the game and hearing the music again, it was like it was suddenly seven years ago. Running around Selphia and seeing all the characters again - I love JRPGs, have played a lot of them, and I can think of very few that have characters that have stuck with me this long. And the aesthetics - the best thing about the Rune Factory franchise has always been the aesthetics, the music, the scenic and character design, just the general world. It’s a beautifully whimsical balance of urban and fantasy, and it’s the only JRPG world I think I’ve ever come across that I would genuinely want to live in. Rune Factory may no longer be my favourite game franchise - but I don’t think there has ever been another series that has felt so much like home to me.

Here’s a very long selection of personal highlights from the art book (by which I mean photos of the art followed by my rambling opinions):

Yeah, see, here’s the thing - Rune Factory 1 is not a good game. I could write an entire essay on why it’s bad (I actually started and got pretty damn far before realising no one’s interested in my two thousand word review of a game that came out over a decade ago - the short version is ‘Misty Bloom-fucking-Cave’. Anyone who’s played RF1 knows exactly what I mean). Don’t get me wrong, it has good qualities - excellent boss fights, for one, and also, as with the rest of the franchise, it is aesthetically wonderful. But ultimately, it feels less like playing a video game, and more like playing a proof of concept for a game. Which I guess it kind of was - and I can’t hate it because we wouldn’t have the rest of the series without it.

But it literally ends with a dragon spewing plant breath on a tank to make a turnip grow out of the gun. ‘Profound’, my arse. 

It’s Raguna! The “master sowrdsman!” (that is not a typo on my part that is a direct quote from the ending of Rune Factory 1 this game’s script had so many issues-). And Mist! My favourite of the ‘canon’ love interests!

Best girl! When I was a kid, my favourite love interest in RF1 was Rosetta. As an adult, it is Tabatha. I don’t know what it is about her that I find so likeable (she’s as lacking in personality as any other RF1 character), but... idk, I just like her a lot.

Camus’s big ambition is to leave town like even once. He will never achieve it

Fun fact about Melody is that she’s extremely depressed, a fact that comes up once in an optional side quest and is never addressed again. It’s incredibly dark for an RF game

Fun fact about Lukas is that he sucks (he’s one of those ‘obsessed with talking about how hot all the girls are’ characters, an archetype that thankfully doesn’t show up again in these games). But also, interestingly enough, thanks to one of RF1′s many, many script errors, if you marry Rosetta (the girl Lukas is the most obsessed with), he’s supposed to express disappointment that he lost her to Raguna - but instead, he implies that he’s disappointed to have lost Raguna to her. The translators typoed their way into giving him a sexuality change. Which is honestly kind of amazing.

LOOK AT THIS SLIME THIS IS SUCH A COOL SLIME LITERALLY EVERY OTHER JPRG SLIME GO HOME DRAGON QUEST GET FUCKED (jk I like Dragon Quest a lot and its slimes are cool too). Wish you could see in-game that this is what they’re meant to be like.

I just generally love the monster designs, they’re really charming

Rune Factory 2! The RF game with the most weirdly mundane protagonist name (Kyle. In the main four games of this franchise we’ve got Raguna, Micah, Lest, Frey... and Kyle). The two generations thing was actually very cool, but when they say ‘each chapter captures a different lifestyle’, what they really mean is ‘the first half is a weak Harvest Moon I’m sorry, STORY OF SEASONS game, and the second half is a pretty good Rune Factory game’  

lookit this little fuck

Yue Yue Yue! I love Yue so much, she’s great. She’s kind of like a much chiller version of Anna from Fire Emblem.

It’s really cool that we got to see grown up Cecilia (she was in RF1). I have this silly headcanon that if Kyle doesn’t marry Mana, Nicholas (her friend in 1) comes to visit Cecilia one day in the hazy-post game future, and meets Mana, and they get together. While Yue is my favourite, I do genuinely like Mana a lot, and I just want her to find love, I guess.  

Here’s original Barrett! There’s a reason he was popular enough to make a reappearance (well, aside from the whole grumpy pretty boy thing he’s got going on) - he was a great character in this game. His and Dorothy’s relationship is also definitely the most compelling of the rival romances. Bonus Max, who also has a little shout-out in RF4 (check the diary in what will become Dylas’s bedroom at the start of the game)

Ray is male, but apparently he was originally going to be a female character, as he has an unused portrait in a wedding dress. My friend and I agree that this makes him a Trans Icon

Monster designs remain excellent. Especially the goblins

Skipping over Frontier (and also Oceans later), as I never got to play it growing up due to not having a console, and still haven’t got around to it - might try this summer. Except I do need to point out that these guys should be memes. I don’t know in what way. But they should.  

Rune Factory 3! My first RF game. The transformation thing was very cool, even if it was basically useless outside the main story. My friend and I spent hours mucking about in the WiFi dungeon. I loved the desert settlement and all of the dungeon designs in general, and man, RF3 is just great. I hope it gets a remake one day.

Raven Raven Raven! I LOVE Raven (as do most). Her story with Micah is the first time I can remember getting genuinely invested in a video game romance. I’m so glad she cameos in RF4. I love her. She’s wonderful.

I have an odd fondness for Marian. When I was about twelve, I decided to do a playthrough where I deliberately romanced the least popular bachelorette. After poking around on forums, I determined that character to be Marian, and did a run with her. And... I actually came to really like her. I find her endearing. I get that people find her annoying and don’t like her... unethical medical practices, but doing that run has still made me a pretty protective of her. It’s been a long time since I played RF3, so maybe I’d change my mind if I replayed now, but currently, as far as I’m concerned,  Marian’s a good’un.

I think I also used to low key ship her with Collette lol 

Pia’s official art has always been super weird to me because it’s so not what her character is like in-game. She’s a ditzy airhead. This makes her look so serious

RAINBOW! Another character whose art makes them look way more serious than they actually are. Daria is great and would be a meme if this game was more popular. I think she’s also implied to be a relative of Margaret. 

I’ve always been super confused about what Kuruna’s skirt is meant to be. Is it fur? Is it part of her shirt? Is it even a skirt at all?

Check it out, it’s the guy everyone would ship Micah with if this game was more popular

I want Zaid to make a reappearance and interact with Doug. Pretty sure it’s canon that they’re from the same clan? Think it would be very interesting.

RF3 definitely had the coolest farm. Also, still love the desert settlement.

This is from Oceans, so I have no context, but it’s just so cool that I had to share

Rune Factory 4. Culmination of the series is right - when I was playing it for the first time, I remember being blown away by just how much it is a true love letter to the franchise. I have never come across another game series that so consistently grew and improved from entry to entry. RF4 was a perfect ending.

Not that I’m complaining about getting RF5. Quite the opposite.

But if it had been the end (as we all thought it was until about a year ago), well, like I say. Perfect. 

Well. Aside from soda can nipples. Can’t believe they didn’t fix those. Though in some ways, that would have made me sad too

Dolce has such a cool design, in both human and monster form. I’ve always kind of crack-shipped her with Margaret, for no real reason at all

Vishnal! I love Vishnal. Vishnal is pure as heck. Marrying him this time around.

Doug! My choice from last time around. Another character who looks more serious in his official art than he is in-game (well... most of the time)

And then there’s Dylas, who looks much happier here than he does most of the time. Kind of looks like he and Doug swapped bodies, actually. There’s a fanfic prompt for you.

Their ship name is Dyldo. I love them

Leon is nostalgic for me mostly because my friend and I used to get into a lot of arguments about whether or not he’s the hottest character in the game. She maintains that he is, because muscles. I maintain that muscles aren’t actually that attractive. It is a rift that divides us to this day

(He looks oddly... younger in this art though? Weird)

Sechs Empire is such an unfortunate name. Seriously. How rushed was RF1′s localisation team? All those script errors, and then this (the Sechs were the antagonists in the first game, and were only referenced in passing in the rest until RF4 - so it was a bit of a ‘sins of the father’ situation by then).

Seriously, try saying ‘Sechs Emperor’ out loud and tell me you can take this man seriously 

I??? Love??? Them???

I??? LOVE??? THEM???

Still confused as to why Kiel, Xiao Pai, Arthur and Margaret are on the cover now. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but... Amber, Dylas, Dolce and Leon made way more sense? Even the Archival Cover makes more sense (Vishnal, Clorica, Forte), as those three are all kind of Lest/Frey’s servants (well, Forte for the whole town, but still). Of those first four, all but Arthur basically lift right out of the game with little-to-no impact on the story

NO HAT TABATHA NO HAT TABATHA

I’ve always really loved this Raven picture

And I am thankful for you <3

[dukeofriven]

Good In The World

I meant what I said with that extended LOTR quote being what the Epilogues are about - about there being good in the world, and it being worth fighting for. Given that I’ve been up to my neck reading Hussie commentary lately I feel like I’ve gotten a pretty strong grasp on what makes him tick - and who boy does this guy love stories about friendship, teamwork, and love, loves them so much he sometimes sounds like Téa Gardner about to lay down a friendship speech on Yu-Gi-Oh. So - while noting that the extent to which the epilogues are and are not Hussie’s work are even more muddled that usual in regards Homestuck - the take-away is this: everything went wrong, in both Meat and Candy, because everyone forgot that - that friendship, teamwork, and love is the only reason any of them survived. The Sburb survivors came to Earth-C as literal gods, beings of inordinate celebrity and power, and then didn’t work as hard as they should have to still be friends and family. We point to John as some kind of recluse but it quickly becomes clear that everyone stopped working at staying together. Karkat and Dave are as much shut-ins as John, stewing together in their own incapacity. Katkat’s self-loathing, so often a hilarious joke in Homestuck is - free of the immediate pressures of Sburb - shown to be intensely debilitating. It undermines him repeatedly in Meat, and requires incipit genocide in Candy to be set aside, costing him everything that mattered on a personal level. Dave made the mistake of many in his position before him, leaning too much on the first epiphany about trauma and not taking the care to continue down the path to further healing and reconciliation with the past. It leaves him desperately reaching for intimacies he too scared of to actually experience. Coupled with an abused kid’s terror of perpetuating harm he lies to Karkat and Jade both time and time again to try and save their feelings. Jade, so utterly fucked up by years of isolation and loneliness, and so endearingly, crushingly full of love makes all the wrong decisions in trying to build a triad (that is - the triad could have worked, but she went about it all wrong) and makes two separate instantiations of Dave and Karkat miserable. Rose and Kanaya have no malice in their actions, but they do what married people always do: pull away from everyone else, and focus on themselves and their new lives. Harmless, normally - or, at least, not seriously harmful - but those lives took them underground and away from everyone else, The two most insightful and level-headed members of the party simply weren’t around when everyone needed them most. Unaware how bad things were getting they missed so many of the warning sides that would have clued them in earlier that everyone was going off the rails - and being as isolated as she was in Meat this left Rose vulnerable to the manipulation most likely to succeed: just like with Doc Scratch she was preyed upon by someone who could flatter her sense of grievance, knowledge, and uniqueness. Terezi wouldn’t have stood by and let things go to shit - but she was doomed the moment she tied her heart to ego personified, and so was absent too.  As for the Alphas, well - their problems were never resolved in the first place, their 'conflict arcs’ interrupted by the arrival of the betas. Only Roxy, element of void, utterly self-contained, a refugee from a dead reality, walked onto Earth-C able to withstand the horror that awaited them: celebrity. Skaia is benevolent, but it is not wise: Sburb seems to have a cherub’s worldview, full of bright colours and heightened stories, but not much maturity. When the victors of Sburb escaped to Earth-C the last thing they needed was celebrity, praise, and positions of note. The issues are all laid out in the prologue: John retired before he ever started working, every one of them richer than any mortal could conceive of. These kids didn’t need parades, they needed to go school. Jane didn’t need honorary degrees from every business school on the planet, Jake didn’t need a TV show centred entirely around his ass: what everyone needed was to be aggressively ordinary. Mundane and unregarded. They needed to put everyone in a group home with four on-staff counselors and take a chunk of years doing nothing but heal. Because everyone was damaged. Other than Calliope - a special case - everybody walked out of Sburb having witnessed at least one apocalypse. Put aside any of the individual traumas and deaths and abuses and sins and just focus on that alone: the death of entire worlds and the burden of saving seven sentient species. Rather than the ultimate Reward being a sit-down with kindly professionals who could help a bunch of kids cope with that, these literal children entered a new world and built new lives on a foundation of dust. The beta kids never finished seventh grade. Jane Crocker never finished high school. Jade Harley, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, and Dirk Strider never went to school at all. Not one of those four had ever been around more than four humans in their lives until the day they won the game. They couldn’t have. Jade and Jake grew up alone on islands. Roxy and Dirk grew up in the apocalypse. Dirk grew up in a literal box. As Cascade hit Dave and John were the only living humans Jade had ever met who wasn’t her grandpa: and she spent three years alone on a ship with only the Nannasprites and consorts for company. (And Jaspers to chase.) For those four especially, think about they went through within 24-hours: BAM here’s a group of people including your alt-relatives and literal aliens BAM here’s a crazy fucking battle against technicolour chess people, killer dogs, and fish queens BAM here’s a pristine new-ish world better BAM produce thousands of species to populate a new world /TABLE SCRATCH/ Welcome to Earth-C in the year 5000 Celebrity Gods. Here’s your debit cards full of riches. Seriously - this all happens in about a day. And yet people are shocked that things didn’t work out? They were sixteen years old. Four of them had no formal education of any kind, nor had ever been around enough to people to form a softball team. And that’s not even starting on the trolls, who had multiple culture-shocks and traumas of their own the sort through. And yet people are shocked that things didn’t work out? There is, absolutely, a way all of this could have been addressed and become a happy ending. If you don’t like the Epilogues because you’re just sick and fucking tired of tragedy stories - boy do I feel you. Man, don’t get me started on shit like Westword we will be here all week. If you just wanted there to be a fucking happy ending because god-damnit people deserve to be happy - I feel that too. Had that been what we got I can’t say that I’d have been displeased. But if you’re angry because what happened in the Epilogues seems “unreasonable”  all I can do is wave my arms at all the shit everybody went through and ask you why going from that to retired celebrity godhood was good for anyone. What happened on Earth-C was nobody’s fault - not even Dirk’s. Of course he lost it. Of course he took his godhood to its logical conclusions - what possible grounding in real human beings had he ever seriously had, and what in his life was there to make him see people as people? Dude grew up alone in a box with SBAHJ and rapping robots for company - the only voice in his head his own, magnified in the echo chamber of ego and his own blindness to his inadequacies.  Why wouldn’t Jane cling to status quo of her dead world? Really, what did Sburb ever bring her but heartbreak, an excessively baroque Bad Relationship Simulator that took away her home and her position as a corporate heiress for a six month romp through a bunch of dead planets and inter-friend squabbling (We don’t talk about how fucking boring the alpha session was: nothing but undead and emptiness.) She reaches a new world, gets told how smart she is, gets a bunch of degrees - but as Dave himself notes, when you’re rich as can be and have everyone on the planet lining up to do business with you, it’s pretty easy to think you’re actually skilled at running things, especially if YOU STOPPED YOUR EDUCATION AT SIXTEEN AND GOT TOLD THAT YOUR SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SELF WAS THE APEX OF YOUR BEING. Take a moment to remember yourself at sixteen. Try to put sixteen year old you in charge of something meaningfully important - like, mmh, let’s say a regional bank. Uh - oh. Oh dear. Oh it’s on fire, is it? And the fire is spreading? Yeah, that’ll happen. [One glaring issue I’ll note in these epilogues is that nobody knows what the fuck to do about Dad Crocker, so they do... nothing, until Candy reminds you he exists in order to kill him to motivate Jane to do something she probably could have been easily prompted to do anyways by another means. I guess Dad Crocker just... happily let Jane not finish school or exert any kind of parental control at all after that point? On her or anybody else? You want to talk about OOC: what the fuck happened with Dad Crocker, of whom I expected better? And where did Tavrosprite and the Nannasprites go?] My point in all this is that Homestuck is a story about how important love, teamwork, and friendship is, and after the Earth-C victory everybody got lost. Everybody reacted to being Celebrity Gods in their own way, and it created little cracks that widened over time, and when everyone should have been coming closer together - group therapy sessions, even - they got further and farther apart. These emotionally-stunted mentally-teenaged kids with buckets of trauma, the power of gods, and the celebrity to match broke. One by one. All in their own unique ways. The Epilogues are in some sense a musing on the absurdity of adulthood - how its mantel is placed upon you regardless of whether you are ready or not, for reasons as arbitrary as ‘turning a certain age’ or ‘winning a video game.’ In some cases it takes our heroes DECADES of life before adulthood - before real maturity - begins to make something of an appearance, and even then it’s a crapshoot. Love, friendship, and teamwork are what matter in Homestuck: in the epilogues it takes years of monumentally boneheaded decisions for our heroes to remember this, and some of them never do.

Is there still a happy ending at the end of Homestuck? One that lies ahead? I think so. Hussies loves his characters dearly - and yes, he does. Of course he does. He didn’t spend ten years of his life telling the story of one dimensional Brechtian Archetypes to make some otiose point about the nature of narrative: if he had none of you would be feeling as you are now.  The difference between you and Andrew Hussie is that you see his characters like family: you leap to their defence whenever they are hurt, and when they are cut you bleed: “How?” you ask, “Could anyone be so cruel to do this thing?” But Hussie sees his characters as characters, in a story of which he is author, and in which pain and hurt and tragedy can be the vehicles through which good stories can be told: that the light is made all the brighter because of the quantity and quality of darkness that was banished. Candy and Meat are the story of a boy who can only destroy love because he thinks he understands it, and lashes-out when things don’t go as planned. Dirk is just as much the villain in Candy as in Meat, as Calliope makes very clear: the Candyverse is in some sense defined, or at least made more distinct, by his absence. He is a tragic figure on the macro scale - if only he and all the walking wounded of Sburb had been given help when they needed it - but his death in Candy is not a tragedy of ‘what ifs,’ it’s an act of petulance and cruelty by a kid who’ll take his ball and go home if he’s not allowed to play the winning game. His death destabilizes the Candyverse far more than John’s choice to stay, its just that its corrosive effects take longer to be obvious - and the gears he’d already set in motion didn’t cease to turn, though they may have slowed. Dirk destroys love, his effect on both timelines is to push people apart because division suits him, and to push his own view of what ‘love’ is on people who experience it far more expansively than he could ever imagine. He’s a sad little boy who grew up in alone in a box and entered a world that told him he was a literal god with the powers to match - by the end of Meat it’s clear that love, friendship, and teamwork mean nothing to him, only the perfect order of his own fevered imagination. What will bring him down in the end is the reclamation of that feeling at the end of Act 7 - the joy of victory, of having worked together, of the love of family both found and familial, and of the realization that they were none of them better apart. And then some therapists. Some actual therapists. For a good long time. (Also I hope that they find Doc Scratch and beat his sorry ass from here to eternity because that smug fuck has his puppety fingertips all over this thing, and if Dirk really is merging with his ultimate self that includes (as @geekycalligrapher noted) aspects that wound up in Lord English, including a not insignificant portion of one Doctor Vanilla Milkshake, Esq.) (Edit: I did, in fact, do a few edits when I noticed the opening sentences were missing things like ‘the subject.’)

[mikumutual]

answers aa themed questions nobody asked because i’m cool and sexy

also i havent played the 5th or 6th games so

YOUR FAVOURITE…? 1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? honestly? phoenix wright ace attorney! everything’s fresh, there aren’t many weak characters, and the plot is remarkable (especially the fifth case). the whole trilogy is really good as one unit though 2. Favourite case? 1-4, 1-5, 2-4, and 3-5 are tied lol, i can’t make a decision to save my life. 2-1 is really really funny tho 3. Favourite defendant? as a defendant, lana skye. as a person, edgeworth 4. Favourite prosecutor? as a prosecutor, franziska von karma. as a person, edgeworth 5. Favourite ship? wrightworth obviously... ive probably put more thought into them over the last 3 years than any other ship 6. Favourite victim? probably mia fey or gregory edgeworth... but for non-relevant victims, neil marshall :( 7. Favourite murderer? shelly de killer, i LOVE that guy. but dee vasquez was very cool as well 8. Favourite assistant? maya fey!!!!!!!!!! but i like kay faraday a lot too (im so sorry ema) 9. Favourite witness? adrian andrews... or maybe iris? i mean i didn’t like iris but god what a person 10. Favourite quote? “It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses... The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you.” - Miles Edgeworth i made this one of my senior quotes :]

YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…? 11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? uh fucking apollo justice. literally what the hell was that 12. Least favourite case? turnabout visitor wasn’t very strong? i guess it’s fine as an intro, but it’s also wonky with the timeline of aai 13. Least favourite defendant? max galactica. he’s better in the anime though 14. Least favourite prosecutor? manfred von karma, obviously. i like every other prosecutor (who i know of) though, even winston payne is pretty funny in hindsight 15. Least favourite ship? “miles edgeworth/female oc”. there are a lot of bad ships though, mostly involving phoenix & his assistants. dont do that please 16. Least favourite victim? zak gramarye for kickstarting that shitty, shitty game 17. Least favourite murderer? again mvk... but also fucking frank sahwit LMAO 18. Least favourite assistant? i guess trucy 19. Least favourite witness? fuck everyone from turnabout big top unless it was the anime episode 20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? repeatedly trying and failing to download the emulator for aai2 hbjsjhdb i eventually got it but someone had to send me the download fully pre-patched and i felt kinda useless DO YOU PREFER…? 21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? phoenix wright. fuck that “GOTCHA!” mechanic jesus christ 22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright? maya fey. nothing personal against trucy but i just dont like aj hbjsdjhsdb also maya is really sweet and fun and she has the best sprites. she seems like she’d be a good friend, it’s too bad that she doesn’t have the time for them as a spirit medium and all :( if maya ema and kay got to hang out together itd be wild 23. Investigations or trials? trials are easier in my opinion because investigations have several things you could be doing without such a linear style, so if you miss something, you won’t really know until you wander around forever 24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? college feenie!!!!! he’s like trilogy feenie but more emotional and less witty. i like to pretend that hobo phoenix doesnt exist 25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? who would say kristoph 26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? ace attorney but only because phoenix is in it lmao. im actually rewatching a playthrough of aai now, and playing aai2 at the same time, so while it is on the mind, i feel like the cases characters and mechanics - while loved - don’t hold up to the OGs 27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama, or Athena’s Mood Matrix? i actually kinda like the mood matrix more than anything because it has a really good UI and the magatama is kinda grating. but FUCK the gotcha mechanic it is SO FUCKING STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE TO USE.  where is logic chess 28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies? you already know my answer to this one 29. 3D models or sprites? i do like the 3d models a lot but i like the original sprites more! imo original pixel sprites > 3D models > HD sprites. mostly bc the hd sprites are garbage (see here, here, and here) 30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? rfta !!!!!! shes actually really nice as an assistant, esp considering the fact that we actually see her interact with her sister, which is something maya didn’t have very often. also her random appearance in aai was well appreciated by me

MISCELLANEOUS 31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?

NO I AM SO FUCKING MAD WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM ISN’T HE A LAWYER WHY COULD HE NOT JUST DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THE FACT THAT HE “FORGED EVIDENCE” IT WASN’T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SOMEBODY ELSE FORGED IT AND HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, MANFRED VON KARMA GOT AWAY WITH A FUCKLOAD OF NONSENSE AND SO DOES EVERY OTHER LAWYER SO WHY IS IT THAT PHOENIX CAN SURVIVE EATING A POISONED GLASS NECKLACE AND GETTING HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND FALLING FROM A BURNING BRIDGE INTO A RUSHING RAVINE AND BEING HIT BY A CAR BUT HE CAN’T FUCKING DEFEND HIMSELF LIKE HE DOES IN EVERY OTHER CASE BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT OF THE GAME AND ALSO HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER

32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? haven’t played it! it looks pretty cool though

33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? doubt it, since the creators have said that it won’t be. but the fan translations are pretty good, so i think it’s okay

34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? i mean he already has two, so i guess he doesn’t need another? like i love edgeworth but he’s not as fun without phoenix around. ngl i would play a franziska game. or a maya game, or any spinoff revolving around a side character. hell i’d play hotti game if it meant it took place in the trilogy era

35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? REALLY good. really really good. i love how each game of the trilogy has different composers but each track has the same theme and feel!!!

36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? seriously absolutely completely prefer the trilogy. i’m sorry but the rush of youth and trust is way, way more enjoyable than whatever “i’m 35 and therefore middle aged” nonsense is happening in the 2020s

37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction? He’s been replaced by Penny Nichols. Fuck you.

38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction? it was me i ended it

39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? i didnt play it but i really like the idea!!!!!! aa crossover games are really funny to me, i mean have you seen edgeworth in project x zone 2, lmao

40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? we have one now! honestly i don’t think it did a very good job of representing the cases, but it did do a good character remix of turnabout big top so that they’re not creepy anymore. they also did a really good job with the anime-specific cases, like the one on the train! it feels a lot better paced when it’s intended for that medium rather than just adapted.  also the childhood episodes made me cry

41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? like in 5 and 6? mm, the art style is kinda weird, and i don’t really like the voices, but i guess not everything can be pachinko and prozd

42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutor’s role? YEAH ACTUALLY!!!!!! it might be kinda weird being on the right side of the screen though lmao

43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? uhhh i hate having to buy extra things, but i’ll admit that they are pretty funny

44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? i only played aj so if shes in other games idk but i thought she was fine

45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? stop having creepy characters please. also jesus christ if phoenix and edgeworth arent wearing rings in aa7 i will become the ceo of capcom myself

46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? i mean the musical did a pretty good job of adapting existing cases, so it might as well be new. it would be kinda hard to balance the games’ timeline & character development without being repetitive or an au

47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? stylized 2D animation, probably? i would want it to feel more like into the spiderverse than an anime, though. in my dream ace attorney movie, they’d just need a high art budget, several plausible deniability wrightworth scenes, and prozd to voice edgeworth

48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) your turn to die is probably closest in characterization, although its premise is more “locked in a room” than the open-world investigation of aa

49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) honestly, i like them a lot! i don’t know why people hate them so much - i mean, i know lotta lied, and wendy is a horrible old flirt, and larry just kinda sucks all around. but they’re also pretty funny to have around! larry is a constant comic relief who reminds you how much better nick & edgey are in comparison, lotta is likeable as a general character (like in 2-4, although yeah, not remarkable), and wendy oldbag is really funny. she’s so fucking funny. none of you appreciate wendy oldbag’s quirks and you are SLEEPING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? no idea, holy shit, it got an m-rating? i mean every game before it has had blood violence and very mild swearing, and since DD probably doesnt have anything too sexually risqué, i doubt it deserves a rating any harsher than the rest of the series

okay thanks thats all

[sladvlactia]

The Division 2 and Dissonance

No one with a platform seems to be talking about the Division 2, other than a few more liberal or collegiate papers. And what can be said of it that wasn’t already said about the first Division? A fetishistic gun-porn cover based shooter. One that asks you to uphold all that ‘Makes America Great” but not in so many words. A strong game so far as mechanics goes, that has forced me to exist in a state of cognitive dissonance as I enjoy my way through multiple hours of the kind of violence so expertly mocked and denigrated by Spec Ops: The Line.  It has the potential of being a masterful story, if they only knew what it was they wanted to say.

But let’s start with the strengths the game has, which to be fair, are many. A tight cover based shooter that incentivizes creative tactics and strategies, a well-balanced progression system for your gear that makes you care more about what you use on a more complex level than whatever has the highest numbers. Excellent level design with environmental puzzles and storytelling that require you to look beyond your next place of cover and allows for a more expansive story as well as smaller, side-stories you can ferret out if your curious and determined enough. In fact, these side stories are generally more well thought out and nuanced than the main storyline is.

               With cover based shooters, there’s always the danger of having the game devolve into a stagnant hide and seek punctuated by grenade explosions. The mix of enemy types, various elevations of cover, and the myriad of different skills makes each battle feel unique, even if you are replaying a mission, you’ll need to adapt to the different enemies or the different paths they may take to flank you or catch you out in the open. The result is a fast paced challenge that requires you to constantly adapt to your surroundings. You have to keep an eye out for anyone with specific gear, do they have a grenade bag? Wait for them to be near someone else and shoot the bag, taking out them and those around them. Are they near a breaker box? Shoot the box and shock them, buying you time to line up a headshot, or to reposition if you’re being flanked.

That attention to detail, and the effort made obvious by the positioning of each element in the game world, leads to the first issue for the Division 2. Of the four different factions, each has specific strategies they use to combat you. Military tactics from the remnants of a battalion with the True-Son’s. Fast and Furious kamikaze and fire with the Outcasts, or the chaotic and “street-tough” style of the Hyena’s. To explore what I’m getting at, let’s start with the Hyena’s; a faction made up of either black people or, “inbred” white people. The “animals” of the Division world, specifically likened to “Black-Bloc” in the in-game descriptions. Whereas the other factions will rely on the cover given, or use their various tools to flush you out of cover, the Hyena’s will rush you, They’re designed to be chaotic, to be an embodiment of anarchy. A miss-step at best when they’re all brown or poor people in the game world, but outright racism/classism is more likely. The Outcasts are villains because of what they did in response to being rounded up and put into a concentration camp, because they want revenge and took it too far.  Is another uncomfortable portrayal; as a friend put it, “I can identify the most, with the outcasts…” They’ve become terrorists to be sure, but when the alternative is to trust in the same government agencies that left you to die in the first place, it’s hard to judge. Especially when the faction that is more or less responsible for their suffering, is the military remnant known as the True-Sons. A fascist proxy force clearly meant to be the more jingoist aspect of America, and those that just “Follow-Orders” a step in the right direction for acknowledging the dangers of power and following orders, one that seems to be mysteriously missing from the Division agents themselves. Perhaps portraying a faction of almost religious fanatics known for nursing a grudge from being forced into concentration camps by fascists wasn’t the best idea.

The gear itself is balanced and nuanced enough to allow for customizing your play style, and giving you the option of spending hours going through your stash of goods, trying to get the right amount of attack, vs, skill, vs, Defense boosts to make use of your various talents or skill modifications. Something that is enjoyable to a great number of people who appreciate such fine-tuning. (myself included) As I go through each armor piece, I find myself attempting to match my branding, as each brand has specific perks unlocked by stacking pieces together, modifying my weapons with various scopes, or larger magazines. It’s well designed, and each piece carries a benefit and a detriment to the stats of the gun. It’s easier for me to ignore that narrative behind it, the oh so blunt tagline in the beginning cinematic “Did you have a gun?...Did your neighbor?” A Jingoist, refrain that all but screams that all that keeps us from turning on each other is the threat of punishment. Of violence, Of Death and the end of a highly customized and lovingly crafted weapon. But it’s always there, in the back of your mind that everything in this world is solved by shooting it, even locked doors, in most instances. In fact, the only real interaction the player has comes via bullets. A sacrifice for streamlining the work put into gameplay, models and animation of course, but maybe I just want experience this world without destroying it.

Which leads into the beautiful level design, and the amazing work and the evident love that went into making DC.  During missions, you can generally tell where it is you need to go through clever use of extension cords, or discarded shell casings, or even blood smears. Letting you know that THIS door, of the many available, is the one you want to open to proceed.  Every alleyway, abandoned parking garage, or small nook in the sewers has sleeping bags or tents, discarded food wrappers or even torn pages from a notebook, telling someone to be strong, that the writer has gone to look for food. Taken together, the level designers have obviously put in a staggering amount of effort and thought into their work. You can find small treasures, hidden easter-eggs or simply little oasis of peace or an excuse to put something silly in. Searching the sewers, I found a small room full of plush animals, in front was a turtle with a miniature Hard Hat on it. Looking around you can see several plushy snakes wrapped around the pipes. There’s nothing else that’s important in this room, no reason to go through the effort of resizing a hard hat to fit on a plush turtle, just the knowledge that some players will find this room, feel a small bit of levity, and be encouraged to stop and explore before moving on. At one point, I came across an area enclosed in wood, a place that you cannot access as a player. And I hear a blues harmonica playing from somewhere inside. Again, no real reason that I’ve found, just something nice to put into the world, something to break up the unceasing “gritty-ness”. Which is, perhaps, the most damning bit of cognitive dissonance in the Division 2. Each faction has found footage style “intel” little cinematic clips that illustrate just how capitol “E” Evil they are. It quickly becomes absurd; the Hyena’s leave a child alive after murdering the adults because they think it would be “funnier to watch him starve”. The outcasts ritualistically murder the builder of their camp, by literally beating him to death with a hammer. The leader of the true sons, true to his 80’s villain trope, kills a doctor in cold blood when she dares tell him that they cannot just abandon the victims of the plague. Each video, or audio clip is entirely serious, each faction is irremediably evil. Only the heroes, the good guys are allowed to be morally grey.

Which, all told, is I think the largest issue I have with the Division 2, the narrative.  Helpign defend America, to rebuild it, restore what it once was. The settlements you are tasked with helping in the game are closed off areas within the city. Large walls, armed guards and patrolling squads of armed militia keep the area more or less “safe”.  Loudspeakers tell anyone nearby that they cannot simply take in more people, than only the worthy are allowed inside. ‘If you stay here, you have to pull your weight” is a literal quote from one settlement. As you help to strengthen each, more American Flags, and colors of red, white, and blue crop up. The sun shines brighter, the guns get bigger. The people inside are kept inside, safe with work rotas, physical training time, clear rules and regulations. A prison to be blunt, one that only allows in those they deem “desirables”.  You find recordings and messages from the leaders or residents of the settlements, hear the radio broadcasts from those inside. They struggle with the knowledge that they cannot allow everyone in, that they live the life of prisoners or impose that life on others. Each recording found reinforces that it is “necessary”, that they are simply doing what must be done for now for a brighter future. Commendable, but worryingly fascist in its execution. Especially when the difference between the good guys and bad guys, functionally, is non-existent. The Hyena’s control the drugs, The True-sons have the most guns and the best gear, the outcasts are weaponizing their own infection, ingeniously turning their outcast status into a weapon itself. Each group is attempting to restore control, or some semblance of a reason to continue to live, through demolishing the past, through exacting revenge, through imposing order, or by preserving what’s left of a lost empire. It’s difficult to feel any different from any other faction, when all you do, all you are capable of doing, is killing and destroying. Even the end game enemies, Black Tusk; a clear nod towards Blackwater, are ambiguously evil. The only thing you know about them is that they oppose you. Finding more of the hidden story pieces, through abandoned cell-phones, laptops, and found footage begins to show a clear breakdown of government. The almost saccharine portrayal of congress “putting aside their differences” to help the sick and wounded is shown in counterpoint to how they fled as soon as things got bad. The current president may or may not have seized control after the assassination of the previous administration.  

In all, maybe my issue with this game is that it gives me no choice but to accept that America is corrupt, broken, and racist. That we as a society are one bad day away from warring factions. That the “best” of us, people sworn to defend us and rebuild us, or little more than glorified trained killers. Who scavenge colorful sunglasses to snap selfies in front of their slaughter. Maybe that’s the whole point of the Division, America is great for a small group of people, who are only kept safe by murdering anyone and everyone who doesn’t fit. “Good-Job!” You’ll be told. “By recruiting this camps only doctor, you now have a barber!” Good thing you can look good while fighting people who revel in killing those weaker. To bring it full circle, your mission here was to re-activate your magic SHD network, one you managed to complete relatively early on, why are you here now? A question asked hauntingly in Spec-Ops. Not addressed or entertained in The Division.

[myaphelion]

On video games, Children’s Lit, and the hatred of new media in academia

"On the other hand, television, movies, and video games have eroded what is expected of children in terms of both language skills and attention span. What these visual media have done is provide watered-down and even simplistic renderings of many classics, as well as privilege plot over characterization, style, and narrative point of view. Video games are the most bastardized of these visual media because the focus lies exclusively with what happens next. Thus, although making children more aware of the world around them has resulted in their beginning to read texts in a different way, the same means by which children have become able to challenge the existing paradigms make it more difficult for them to read those texts."

-  William Thompson, ENGL305, Literature for Children (rev. C4)

So. About this part of the Children’s Lit course I just completed.

I’m not much of a stranger to people crapping on new media—it’s been happening since the beginning of time, and I’ve read about and seen it time and time again. First music, then books, then film, then television, then more new music, then music videos, and now video games and various forms of internet media. Still, in an academic setting, especially in a school that offers courses on gaming, I didn’t expect to see this. But here we are I guess??? (Academia is garbage, don’t ask me.)

Anyway. This gives me an excuse to compare the history of children’s lit to the history of video games directed at children, along with explaining why this quote bothered me so much in a bit greater detail.

Okay, so let’s start with the quote itself and pick it apart a bit. I can agree with the author’s assertion that more easily accessible media makes it harder to sit down and do something like read a book cover-to-cover—I know for a fact it’s happened to me and several other people. On the other hand, having media that’s more easily accessible like movies, TV, and (some) video games can lead people towards reading the source of their favourite things. Not to mention that some stories can’t be told in books—choose your own adventure stories are little substitute for the programming of a game where you can see your actions have consequences in real time rather than just reading about it on a page, which may not have as immediate or as harsh an impact.

“Watered-down and… simplistic renderings of many classics [that] privilege plot over characterization, style, and narrative point of view.” What, course author, have you been watching, besides the oldest of Disney movies, and even then—even then!—they have a style all their own. Just because something is different from the original ‘classic’ that you may love, does not necessarily make it ‘watered-down’ or ‘simplistic’. I do agree that some movies, TV shows, and video games bastardize the works they’re based on. But—and this is an enormous but—books can do the very same for other universes. Have you read some of the worse Star Wars Extended Universe novels lately? God knows they didn’t help the SW canon when they were still considered canon. And your comment about ‘plot over everything’ is just… ridiculous. Some of the books I read in the course, and some of the stories you pointed out from the early days of children’s literature, by your own admission, heavily favoured either plot, characters, style, or narrative POV to the exclusion of one or all of the others. It’s not just new media that do this—any poorly-written or poorly-conceived piece can lack one or more of these things. Even good media can have problems with one or more of these things that are made up by the strength of the other areas. Some media isn’t meant to have amazing characterization, or style, or narrative POV—some media really is all about the plot, and that can be very much a positive thing.

Now, the final bit of the quote that’s relevant. Let me remind you again what it says. “Video games are the most bastardized of these visual media because the focus lies exclusively with what happens next.” As… as opposed to what, author? Do you think that people just pick up books in order to analyze the absolute crap out of them until they can only enjoy them on that level? Hell no! The ordinary person, and especially the ordinary child, will pick up a book because they want to know what happens. Nobody except the person with their head so far up their ass they can see the sun out their own mouth is picking up a piece of media to just see what the writer’s intent was—unless they’re doing an academic course, I guess. Generally, however, if a book or other piece of media is boring as sin and the reader or watcher doesn’t want to see what happens next… they’re going to put it down and not come back. Yes, style is important, and yes, authorial intent and all the rest is important too—but those things are not exclusive to the realm of literature, and they are there in video games, too.

The real point of this, however, is that the author of this course seems to believe that video games are a form of media that can never reach the heights of literature, even children’s literature. Not so. Video games are a very new medium as opposed to any other media that’s current, save for internet content, which is a baby medium even compared to video games. This means that video games are still going through the kind of growth that children’s literature went through, albeit slightly more accelerated given just how many games are pumped out per year.

When literary works for children were first introduced in medieval times, and pretty much up until the eighteenth century, they were intended merely to educate and instruct. These books tended to be directed towards literate young boys, especially in the earliest ones, and were often Christian in nature, urging young lads to follow God’s word lest they be punished in the fires of hell. As such, children’s literature didn’t really exist as we think of it today, and kids were more prone to reading whatever interesting adventure stories or tales they could get their hands on, such as Aesop’s Fables or Robinson Crusoe. These stories were never intended to be read solely by children, but rather intended for an adult audience first. However, given that they weren’t objectionable by nature, kids devoured them because of their adventurous content, and loved that these stories were fantastical and jogged their imagination.

It wasn’t until the mid-eighteenth century and John Newbery’s printing company exclusively for children’s literature that kids finally had books to call their own that weren’t just moralistic or educational. While Newbery wasn’t doing it out of some saint-like desire to provide books to children, but for monetary gain, it allowed authors who really did feel like they wanted to write books directed at children that were just for fun to finally have some precedent for their publishing. I could go on from here, but suffice to say that by Victorian times, children’s literature had finally become a full-blown genre of its own. No longer were children forced to read books that could be dry and dull, or books that weren’t really meant for them. Instead, they had books that were all their own, with stories they could relate to and sink their teeth into.

Like I said, though, video games are still new media. Kid gamers haven’t yet had their own John Newbery, but there have been companies and solo developers that have tried. During the 70s, when gaming was the hot new thing, kids’ games didn’t really exist. Everyone played Pong and its ilk, and the educational games on the Magnavox Odyssey were the closest things to kids’ games that existed at the time. Again, a pattern begins to emerge, as we see that the earliest video games either weren’t directed at children, or were mere educational games, intended to serve as teaching tools and nothing more. However, when the video game crash happened and Atari was taken down, Nintendo rose from the ashes in North America to become a video game juggernaut that still exists today. While much of their marketing was directed at kids, with ROB selling the Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy rather than the dreaded ‘video game console’, most of Nintendo’s games weren’t directed solely at children either. The developers who focused on kids in the NES days, again, were primarily educational developers, making games like Mario is Missing! that used famous characters to try and teach kids everything from geography to counting.

The PC and home computer market wasn’t much better, though this is where things begin to get interesting. While console gaming soon almost entirely dropped games directed at children, save for a few titles that were mostly tie-ins to existing children’s properties and sold on name brand alone, even if they weren’t very good, computer gaming was more concerned with appealing to children. Given that home computers were sold as devices that were meant for the whole family to use, of course kids were gunning to play games on their new computers. When the multimedia and CD revolution happened in the 1990s, several big companies rose to the top of educational software, as well as true games for children that were not intended to teach, except as a good side effect. Let’s talk about a few of those now.

Knowledge Adventure, Broderbund, and The Learning Company were three game studios that primarily focused on educational games for children. However, each of these companies tried their best to make learning fun instead of dull, like most educational games had been beforehand. One look at KA’s Jumpstart series, or Broderbund’s Living Books, or TLC’s Reader Rabbit, and it’s hard to argue that these games aren’t fun as well as educational. As a kid, I played all three of these series, and while each of them was arguably intended to educate as well as entertain, I hardly noticed. I was having too much fun learning fractions by measuring out ingredients in Jumpstart 2nd Grade, or reading about D.W. The Picky Eater, or trying to find the Math Magician in Interactive Math Journey.

However, the reigning king of children’s software in the 90s and early 00s was undoubtedly the late, great Humongous Entertainment. Their business model was to create point-and-click adventure games for kids, games that educated on the periphery, but were primarily intended to entertain. Putt-Putt, Freddi Fish, Pajama Sam, and Spy Fox have become icons of children’s media from this time period, and each of them is fondly remembered by kids of my generation because of how fun these games were. Sure, they didn’t tell very complex stories, but the down-to-earth problems of Pajama Sam, the detective antics of Freddi Fish and Spy Fox, and the kooky adventures of Putt-Putt and the one-hit-wonder Fatty Bear were all relatable for kids, and took place in worlds that children wanted to explore and visit over and over again. These games had an art style that was instantly recognizable, with animation often rivaling the cartoons of the time, or at least comparable to them. Thankfully, they’ve been rereleased on mobile devices and on Good Old Games and Steam—they haven’t been lost to time.

Still, after Humongous’ dissolution, no companies have come up to take the reins of kid game developer. While kids have been playing games intended for everyone, or even games intended for adults, games directed primarily at kids that aren’t educational have become few and far between again. The 90s had a glimmer of hope that we might get the Newbery of kids’ games, but that glimmer was shattered when Humongous went down. With independent developers and the continued presence of companies such as Nintendo that are willing to publish games for just about anyone, however, it’s pretty much only a matter of time until entertaining kids’ games can take their place neatly in the pantheon of video games.

So what am I trying to say with this whole thing? I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to dissolve the idea that games are a less important form of media than anything else. Just because they’re new, doesn’t mean that they have no merit. They haven’t had the time to grow like most new media has, and especially in the department of entertaining children, they’re lacking. I say that given a few years—maybe a few decades—we’ll see the Newbery of gaming rise, and children will finally get games of their own that adults want to play too.

Also that that quote is still crap. I’m not going to let that go ever.

[trolloled]

Big List of Fantroll Facts from Hiveswap

This is all pulled straight from the game with 0 (or attempted 0) bias from me or @peckonthecheek​

We have both played the game so I can verify several things on the list. Most of the information comes from @peckonthecheek​ who exhaustively did everything in the game and recorded useful information.

If you want to add to this post, feel free to screenshot what you want to add and send it to me!

Land - Alternia consists of 4 - 5 continents and is mostly covered by said land.

Language - Alternian is distinct from English, trolls at least write in Alternian. It is read from LEFT to RIGHT and every symbol in its alphabet can be directly translated back to an English letter.

Drones - Weak point is in its torso. Drones can burn down hives and just take away random trolls for whatever reason.

- They can also fly and fire missiles.

Lususes (Yes that’s correct) - One species of lusus is the Cuspidated Grimalkin, (A deercat) which prefers to bond with brownbloods with leadership aptitudes. If a Grimalkin loses its charge (Fairly common) it will try to find a new troll to adopt. This is highly illegal.

- Another species of lusus is the Supplikatydid, which resembles praying mantises

- There exist several books on the various species of lususes.

- Lususes have blood colors and tend to bond with trolls of certain bloods

- Sloth lususes (GLACIAL TREETRUDGER) are pretty uncommon

- Lusus can be referred to as a pet/dad

- Multiple of the same types of lususes exist

Powers - Redbloods share telekinesis and speak-with-dead powers as a caste, brownbloods share animal communion powers

- Telekinesis - no matter how weak - can erase data off of discs easily

- Overexerting powers can cause exhaustion, nosebleeds, headaches

Stickball - This is gonna be huge so just. Bear with it.

- There are several leagues depending on area - There’s some sort of piece known as a CLOVER - Positions include PUSHER, BRAWLER, PROWLER, ZAPPER - Played on Velvet - Two pieces called a DOZER (Ball) and a SNOWGLOBE (Ball) - Burgundies often play PUSHER due to their telekinesis and ability to talk to the dead players - PUSHER is the most dangerous position - No one cares if a rustblood dies due to the danger of the position - Some HAZARDS - MATCHTIP - burns you - ZAPPER - blasts you - LUSUS - controlled by opposing (brownblood) Wranglers - Only unbonded lususes are allowed (Can be friendly, neutral, or opposing) - Each ball (DOZER, STITCHER, TRACER, FINISHER, SNOWGLOBE) has its own effect (There are 15 total) - Cuebats (the tool that the PUSHERS use) are made to be hard to bend with their telekinesis - It's okay to use someones torn off leg or other weapons found on the playing field as improvised weapons - but illegal to bring in your own!  - DOZER puts you to sleep if you touch it with your bare hands - STITCHER is a ball of yarn that has to be rolled up before it can be used to score - TRACER will try to follow the path it was taken the match before - FINISHER will only move in a predetermined path to the goal. - If your tryout is bad enough, you CAN get culled  - Rustbloods caught cheating in Arena Stickball will "get culled before they can blink"  - SNOWGLOBE - 8-BALL, rigged with a nuclear bomb that explodes after a set amount of time. - Controllers are often bluebloods (Cerulean?)  - Lususes are used in this sport - they can be friendly, neutral, or opposing - Aren't allowed to be fed, though - Sloths are not commonly used in AS due to their slowness - PUSHERs are the only players allowed to score (And are thus prime targets) - PUSHER helmets are designed to leave the forehead exposed for their    Psychic Powers, however this is a weak point and why they die a lot. - There is a team called the SNOWGLOBES - Xultan Matzos was a PUSHER - very famous - If the heiress attends a match, you are “encouraged” to kneel the entire time - Not following the rules proper will get you culled - Couches are MADE of FABRIC  - PUSHERS are advised to rely heavily on telekinesis - THE MAN ON THE MOON (White, non-scoring ball) cannot be interacted with by PUSHERS. It radiates a feeling of pernicious intent (to Xefros, at least)

Lowblood life:

- Having leadership aspirations is illegal and grounds for execution.

- Suburbs (Subgrubs) are segregated by caste.

- It is mandatory to buy what the heiress is selling.

- The bus system is infrequent and unreliable ("engineered to prevent caste mobility")

- Sometimes (Most times for lowbloods?) jobs are involuntary and assigned

- There is a LOT of class struggle and oppression

- There is, quote “Forced participation in keeping that oppression running smoothly.”

- Have to practice your profession before the TRIALS or you'll get culled

- Demanding a refund as a lowblood can get you culled

- Even uttering rebellious sentiment and promoting it could lead to your execution

- It's Imperial mandate that rustbloods are kept poor - they're not allowed to have more than the bare minimum to scrape by

- "Almost all" rustbloods end up as butlers 

- If a lowblood (read: redblood) makes a name for themselves and succeeds too well, they are liable to be humiliated and culled.

- Heiress will and can make a spectacle of your death in public

- Dreaming of destroying things associated with the heiress can get you killed

- Circular discs are a luxury, if you can't afford them, you get hexagonal ones

- There are sections of magazines that are illegal for lowbloods to read (???)

- Good pizza toppings are reserved for highbloods

- Lowbloods either get instaculled in raids or snatched up for later

- Mostly to be killed as a highblood spectacle

- Lowbloods can get culled for anything and everything or no reason at all - Anyone who disobeys the heiress gets rounded up and enslaved or slaughtered - Slavery is a thing (especially for rustbloods)

- The heiress hates aliens and lowbloods

- Your money is monitored by the government to keep you poor. (Probably).

- Scythian (Troll version of Amazon) always takes forever to deliver to lowbloods

Highblood Life:

- SLAM OR GET CULLED prevents voting from lususes, unless you're a highblood, and then you can have your lusus go on stage and eat everyone, if you want

- Highbloods generally can get away with a lot.

- Indigos (Blue?) care where the silverware goes (tend to "crush anything they pick up anyways")

- High society dinners often involve bluebloods (Pranking during this time often gets you culled)

- Chucklevoodoos are a subjug thing - not a purpleblood/Gamzee thing (Typically these involve dreams and the subconscious) - Heiress has a lot of servants, literally eats off of gold plates

- Violetbloods are considered royals: They can get published anywhere and tend to write lots of reviews about everything (Their hatred for lowbloods, what they just ate), most reviews are by them and they are especially disgusted by rustbloods.

- Heiress has a court of highbloods and a drone army

FLARP:

- They have FLARP editions based on spies, espionage, and rebellion - FLARP editions have fatigue rules in them involving SOPOR SLIME - There is a FLARP class called ESPIACROONER - It is permitted to use your telekinesis and other psychic powers in FLARP  - Need a game grub in order to play FLARP! 

Miscellaneous (Everything else):

- There is a city named THRASHTHRUST which contains the subgrub called OUTGLUT

- Swinging a weapon at an image of the heiress will bring a drone down upon you near instantly.

- Trolls sleep in recuperacoons due to the "violent and troubling impusles" they have - Sopor is very physically and mentally draining - Can injure trolls further if they sleep in the sopor while injured. - Gotta shake off some of the slime to completely wake up (?) - There are chairs with sopor slime in them, made to relax in (See below) - Sopor slime in close proximity to a troll helps them to relax - Eating sopor slime makes you dumb though 

- Sopor Slime keeps powers in check while they are asleep.

- SLAM OR GET CULLED can end in “relatively certain death” for the losers

- There is an interplanetary warsong titled  "If You Aliens Were Not Meant To Die At Our Hands, Why Are You All So Pitifully Incapable Of Defending Yourselves?!"

- There are Illegal parts of History! Censorship is REAL!

- Protest art exists (Videogames are considered art?)

- Video game controllers dies from starvation. Once they die, the mother console lays a new one.

- Crack open a controller for game grub - pus gets everywhere

- There have been multiple heiresses, but only one is alive at a time

- Interfaces can be designed with psionics/telekinesis in mind

- Jostling sopor is good housekeeping (?)

- Magazine titles: Arena Stickball Illustrated, Grubs Diurnally, Talentless Nobodies

- RITES OF MATURATION: Occur around 7 sweeps, involve Trials, decides your future. Nothing is known about them beyond this, not even whether it means you instantly leave the planet. Trolls are expected to TRAIN FOR THESE.

- Putting inorganic material in a grubslurry activator is begging for death

- Eating raw eggs is bad for trolls and gives them parasites - Trolls have benevolent and benign parasites

- Troll pupils are kind of reflective like a dog - they reflect white, though!

- They create their hives when they are freshly pupated, CARPENTER DRONES ENFORCE THIS.

- Typing Quirks are very personal for trolls! - Close friends and quadrants can imitate them sometimes - Only two fuschiabloods - Heiress and the Queen. Both are seadwellers - Queen is far away  leading conquests in other galaxies, she is known to be incredibly powerful

- THERE ARE NO (0) (ZERO) ADULTS ALLOWED ON ALTERNIA. NO EXCEPTIONS EVER.

- Adults are sent off-planet for their ORDEALS when they come of age

- Quadrants are Fated? (???)

- All text communications and conversations are subject to monitoring by the government.

- Trolls do not meet aliens until they’re off-planet, where they conquer them.

- The caste system is highly important.

- Trolls clean their floors with mucus (?)

- Calendars exist with celebrities on them!

- There is a month named CULLUBRE

TROLLIAN TERMS HIVE - House POWER HEXAGRID - Power grid? LUSUS - Caretaker beast SUBGRUB - suburb STEMCLUSTER - City OMNISCUTTLECOACH - Bus SCYTHIAN - Amazon but not FLARP - LARP but deadly RESPITEBLOCK - bedroom GANDER PRECIPICE - balcony ARENA STICKBALL - a sport! WAREGRID STUDYSCROLL - Looks like a placemat that you study for tablesetting MEGAFORK , MICROFORK , KNIFE FORK, "FOOLS FORK" - Several types of forks SMASHSUIT - stunt gear "SLAM OR GET CULLED" - American Idol but deadly RECUPERACOON - bed SOPOR SLIME - sedative slime that trolls sleep in RAKE PRONG, BILESCOOPER - Utensils 12TH PERIGREES EVE - assumedly christmas SCOURDRAY - Maid. Cleany. Thingy. RESIFLUID - Floor Cleaner SMEARSPINNER - Floor waxer CUEBAT - PUSHERS tool in ARENA STICKBALL FLAVOR DISC - pizza WET CHITIN SACK - ??? XULTAN MATZOS - Famous STICKBALL player BOBBLENUG FIGURINE - Bobblehead RECESSED TABLETOP ARENA STICKBALL - foozeball but not THRASHTHRUST SNOWGLOBES - ARENA STICKBALL League team SPORT OF LORDS  - ??? SPLAYSAC - beanbag filled with SOPOR SLIME CHAIRBAG - beanbag GAME GRUB - videogame CASTE SYSTEM - a system of oppression by blood - rust is lowest, fuschia is highest. ROYGBIV NUGBONES - Skull GRUBFLECKS - a type of cereal SCOURBRISTLE / SCOURBRISTLING - Mop/Mopping? Alternatively Broom/Sweeping CHITIN-RIDGER - goes to the right of the cuebat STICK-JAMMER - thumbtack DROMED BAKTAR - famous stickball player LOUNGEPLANKS - sofa CRISPRANGE - stovetop GRUBSLURRY AGITATOR - used to aggrivate some grubslurry GRUBSLURRY - made to be aggrivated HUSKLOAF - meatloaf BILESLAW - probably coleslaw : / GRUB-SAUCE - its a sauce UNRANGED CLUCKBEAST OVA - uncooked eggs? ACID TUBES - probably intestines given the context GRUB JUICE HYDRATION CYLINDERS - cans of grub juice GRUB JUICE - drink to restore psychic powers WRIGGLING DAY - birthday WIPES - a measurement of time. RITES OF MATURATION - a series of TRIALS and potentially ORDEALS that happen around 7 sweeps SMEARGUNK - cleans floors - is used with smearspinner GLACIAL TREETRUDGER - Xefros' Sloth lusus! ZIGZAG INCLINE - stairs GASTRIC EVACUATION GLAND - The uvula TUBEFLORA SHAVINGS - Banana Slices (Maybe, unconfirmed) LAWNRING - Yard SUPPLIKATYDIDS - Praying Mantis Lususes ORDEALS - gone through by adults. May be a part of the RITES OF MATURATION? CRUEL-AID - Kool-aid CUSPIDATED GRIMALKIN - deercat lusus of Dammeks GUTTERBLOOD - a term for lowbloods THROTTLEMOTH - Just a moth BELLOWSACS - Lungs SCENTBULB - Nose

[awashsquid]

Next in The Death of the Moon, all of which is here. This chapter is around 2000 words and it’s overall a long saga, but I’d say we’re about 1-2 chapters from the close. Like what I did here? Leave a nice comment and make me smile! If you really like it, I have a Ko-Fi here as well.

“How’s she holding up?” Makoto stirred the dip mixture in her bowl absently, more focused on Minako’s facial expression than evenly distributing the ingredients.  The movie nights at her apartment had become almost a weekly tradition now, a means to keep all of them together even without meeting over Senshi duties.

“Good as can be expected,” Minako replied flatly, reaching for a cookie even though she knew Makoto would swat her hand away.  She did so, and the blonde responded by sticking her tongue out playfully.  “I mean, she’s honestly doing great with the leg thing, she’s too distracted by her soul having been ripped from her body,” she deadpanned, rolling her eyes at the conclusion of the sentence.

Makoto silently wondered if she should feel guilty that Haruka wasn’t angsting over her leg any more given the circumstances as Minako prattled on.  “I mean, Miss Succubus isn’t doing super well, according to Rei. Guess it’s good to know there’s a heart in there somewhere.”  She rolled her eyes as her hand dipped into her pocket, pulling out her vibrating cellphone.  “Rei says she’ll be here in five.  Ami’s just got a nasty car accident in the ER, so they need all the interns on deck and she’s gonna be late.”

The dip was spooned into its serving tray, already crowded with various vegetables and crackers. “Cool.  Take this into the living room, will you?”  She thrust the tray into Minako’s hands, causing her to fumble putting away her phone before accepting the offering.  “And don’t eat it all!” Makoto called after her, turning around to take the cheesecake bites out of the fridge.

“Holy SHIT, Mako, where did you get this TV?  It’s massive!” Minako cried, ogling the new television that easily took up half of Makoto’s wall space.

Makoto crossed her small apartment quickly and set the food on her coffee table, already crowded with other treats.  “That would be a gift from the Succubus, as you called her.”  She shrugged at Minako’s stunned expression.  “It came this morning with a little card.  She said she felt bad she never comes so she wanted to send a ‘small token of appreciation,’” she added with air quotes. Michiru’s idea of “small” was obviously much different than their own.

The Outers had been invited to the movie nights, but none had ever showed up.  Haruka had been too busy drowning in her own self-loathing, Setsuna just sent polite refusals, and Michiru had never even replied.  Minako had spitefully commented that she must have felt herself too good to even lower herself to an RSVP, but Michiru’s rather lavish gift told a different story to Makoto.  She was still debating what she was going to make and send as a thank-you of her own—she had decided on a few Petit Fours but was still tossing up different flavor combinations in her mind.

“Well.  That was nice of her.”  Minako spat out the words with difficulty, sounding about as convincing as a child who had received socks instead of games for their birthday. “She’s still a soulless squid monster though,” she muttered petulantly, crossing her arms as she flopped down on the couch.

Makoto was spared from responding when the door opened, Rei marching in and slamming it behind her. “Sorry, the line at the video store was insane,” she huffed, tossing a bag with several rented DVDs onto the floor.

Minako rolled her eyes and popped a pretzel into her mouth.  “Rei, I told you, we should just get Netflix.”

“I don’t watch TV at home, Mina, and using the service once a week, its cheaper to rent a movie overnight.”

Makoto chimed in, “Actually, Rei, my new TV came with a year free of Netflix and Hulu, so…”  She trailed off and looked at the sad plastic bag wilted on her floor, a cracked corner of a case poking out.  “I didn’t set it up yet though, so this is fine for tonight!” she finished, cracking a smile to try and diffuse the tension.

Thankfully, Rei was too distracted by the mention of a new TV to go on a diatribe about corporate greed and small businesses as she spun around to look at the appliance.  “Damn, I didn’t think she was going to do this,” she said quietly, eyes roving over the huge curved screen, currently displaying the options menu.

“Wait, you knew she was going to send me this?” Makoto asked.  “Why didn’t you warn me?  The guys showed up when I was covered in flour, I felt so bad I wasn’t prepared—”

Rei shook her head as she sat next to her on the couch.  “Michiru told me she wanted to send you some kind of thank-you gift, and she told me she wasn’t sure what, so I said maybe some DVDs or a little sound bar but this…” she trailed off, hand gesturing outward lazily. “This is just Michiru not knowing what a ‘small’ present is, I guess.”

“She didn’t have to give me anything.”  She plopped onto her ottoman and nibbled the corner off of one of her cheesecake bites. She had really just invited Michiru on principle, knowing that she would never come, but it didn’t seem right to just invite Haruka and not her too.

“Of course she did,” Mina snorted.  “Her Highness is too good to slum with us peasants, so she sends us cake from the palace instead.”  She bitterly snapped a cracker in two before popping half of it into her mouth.

“Actually,” Rei snapped back, “she doesn’t come because she knows you hate her, and she thinks everyone else doesn’t like her and we just put up with her because of Haruka, and she doesn’t want to spoil our fun. But you wouldn’t know that, because you’re too intent on looking at her as some kind of monster.”  Rei’s face was flushed, and she knew immediately that she had just betrayed Michiru’s confidence, but she was too mad to care. “You know, she’s my friend, and you bitch about her all the time, and I want you to know that she never talks about you, she actually never talks about any of you, in a bad way.  I’m sick of you bashing her.  Michiru’s not perfect, but she’s a person, and though it may shock you, she does have feelings, Mina.”

Minako had slowly been grinding what remained of her cracker to dust in her fist as Rei spoke. “Haruka has feelings too, Rei. You know, Haruka?  My best friend?  That woman who Michiru fucking cheated on?  Sorry that I care a little bit more about her because she’s not some manipulative, back-stabbing —”

“That’s enough!” Makoto roared, standing up to tower over the sitting women, the veins in her neck beginning to throb.  “Minako, Michiru just did something really nice that she didn’t have to do for me, so stop badmouthing her for a few fucking hours while you’re here.  Rei, just…calm down,” she finished lamely.  The other two shut their mouths and slunk back into their seats looking thoroughly chastised, although Rei was a little smug under her abashed expression.

“God, all you two do is fight,” Makoto muttered, flopping back down and putting her head in her hands. “Usagi would be so upset if she saw us like this.”  She had meant for it to stay in her head, but she had whispered the thought aloud accidentally.

The silence lingered heavy in the air, their shared grief thickening the room with its cloying heaviness. “I miss her,” Rei whispered, and they looked up to see her crying, mascara tears falling steadily down her face. It was the first time they had seen her really cry since the funeral, and Makoto gently put her hand on Rei’s lap.

“Me too,” she added, allowing her own tears to fall, adding unneeded salt to the half-finished dessert on her lap.

Minako stared stubbornly at the television, her eyesight going blurry from the tears she was trying to not let fall.  Rei saw this and shifted towards her, trying to be tender, thinking of what Usagi would do. “Mina, it’s okay.  It’s okay if you want to cry.  We can blackmail each other into keeping it a secret that we feel things,” she joked badly, touching her hand gently to Minako’s shoulder.  Minako jerked out of the touch, and Rei, always so resistant to fire, felt for the first time what it was like to be burned.

“You guys cry.  I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Minako.  Fuck, none of us are fine,” Makoto added derisively.  “But we’re trying. Maybe it would be easier if we tried together instead of apart.  It’s what she would have wanted.”

“We don’t get to know what she would have wanted because she’s dead, Mako, she’s dead and she’s never coming back, and it’s —” her sentence ended with a shuddering intake of breath as her head dropped down to her chest, blonde hair falling in a thick curtain to hide her face.

“It’s not your fault.” All three whipped their heads to see Ami, who none had even noticed enter, standing with tears in her eyes.  “She’s gone, but it’s not your fault, Minako.”

Minako let out a barking laugh, and the attention turned back to her, tears now streaming freely down her face, lines of black marring her perfect complexion.  “That’s funny.  Maybe you should have gone into stand-up instead of medicine.”  No one responded.  “I told her to do whatever was necessary.  I gave her a command because that’s what General Venus was always meant for, wasn’t it?”  She glared at the ceiling, howling, “I did what you wanted, Serenity, you bitch!  I hope you’re fucking happy!  Maybe next time you should pick a better leader, or maybe wait until we’re not literally children to fucking decide that we get to give up our lives to be your- your puppets!”

Ami approached her and knelt.  “Minako, I ran the numbers, you know that.  If she hadn’t done what she did, the world would have ended.  She would have never been able to live with herself.” She sighed as her eyes looked away, seeing a battle that wasn’t there.  “She was going to do it whether you told her to or not.”

Minako slumped down, the tears falling fast and thick, dotting her leggings with dark spots.  “I know.  It doesn’t change that I was the one that gave her the order, though.”  She looked at her friends uneasily.  “If- if you don’t want me around for a while —” There was an uncharacteristic smallness, a touch of vulnerability in her voice, her self-sure veneer slipping for just a moment, the visor lowered.

Makoto said nothing, but instead crossed and enveloped Minako in a tight hug, which caused her to start sobbing in earnest again.  “You- are- the worst hugger, Mako,” she hiccupped, burying her face into the warm shoulder in front of her.  “Your hugs- make- me- cry.”

“I know, I know,” she replied soothingly, stroking Minako’s hair gently, holding her the way she remembered being held by her mother as a child, trying to convey love through just her embrace as her mother had done.  She felt Ami scoot closer and envelop Minako on the left, and after a moment of hesitation, Rei rounded out the embrace on the right, her still slightly warmer than average body temperature adding extra warmth.  They allowed themselves to cry and to mourn separately, each thinking of what they missed about Usagi the most, each thinking of what they wish they had said to her, and they held each other tighter for all of it, the silent acknowledgement that they would never have to deal with it alone.

Outside the full moon rose, its light shining gently through the window and touching the four women with its shine.

[citanasworld]

I just realized I have never posted an original work so i guess i can now 😅, be gentle i haven't written in years (literally like 7/8 years) and this was the first thing i came back with

There they were sitting across a table avoiding eye contact as they separately counted down to what would be the most uncomfortable emotional situation either had been put in.

Their mutual friend Darron walked into the room to explain exactly why he brought both of them together in this awkwardly painful reunion.

"Alrightt, Lunaa.. Natee, I think it's about time you 2 talked. I don't care if you walk out of here friends or not but I've heard 2 very different stories and you need to explain how you feel to one another because your constant fighting and negative energy anytime you see each other is starting to affect not only me but everyone. So talk it out, RESPECTFULLY." He made immediate eye contact with Luna knowing she was they type in fights to go for the low blow. He walked out and closed the door slowly while Luna and Nate turned to make eye contact for the first time since they had been put into this room together.

"Luna i know we didn't end on super great terms last time we spo-" Nate was cut off mid sentence when Luna had burts out laughing

"When was that? Ohhh yeah when you disrespected my fiancé in an attempt to get me angry? Yeah i wouldn't say we ended on 'super great terms' Nathaniel." She said the last part sarcastically rolling her eyes and looking towards the door.

"Haa, well i meant more so the part where you threatened to 'knock everything last tooth and brain cell out of my skull' or do you not remember that part doll"

Her head snapped back immediately and she looked furious "Oh i remember that clearly and it was 'fucking skull' if you want to quote me at least quote me accurately. And NEVER... call me doll again" she leaned in close speaking the last part very articulatly to make her point clear.

"Alright, alright I'll back off; however i see you're still as fiesty as ever" he continued before she could interrupt with a comeback "look my version of this is pretty cut and dry so I'll tell you mine you tell me yours and if we can't see eachothers sides you can walk out that door and we never have to speak again. Deal? For Darrons sake?" He reached his hand out to shake on the terms with a smile

"For darron. And i will leave.." he reached out and grabbed her hand. "I hate you, just so you know." Luna spat at him while pulling her hand back to her side and making a face and Nate. To which he replied with a sincere smile, "oh, darling.. you break my heart" he said light heartedly to try to ease the tension

"You don't have a heart to break." She replied shortly showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

His smile grew back to the emotionless frown he always wore

"Alright have it your way."

"Always have, haven't I"

"Snarky as ever.. alright fine" Nate began glaring at Luna knowing she was an empath and that she could only have this emotional blockade up for a short time before it came tumbling down and she would feel all the pain and despair she caused him.

"The way i see it we were friends, and then all of a sudden Simon is the center of your universe and you could give a fuck less about me. Then i try to come to you because i miss you and you say there's some deeper problem. If there was a deeper problem why didnt you just come to me? I just wa-"

"WHY DIDNT I JUST COME TO YOU? NATHANIEL DO NOT START WITH ME." She exclaimed, surprised he even had the audacity to act like she was the villan of this story.

"Alright if I'm explaining this incorrectly maybe you should tell me how things 'reallly were' brat."

"Ohkay well let's start with where things actually went wrong you fucking ingrate. Lets start with the fact that I have loved you and wanted to do everything for you and that was apparently not enough. Lets star-"

"Alright doll, get on with it. Tell me what exactly it is i did to make you go from loving me as much as you did to hating my guts and seeing me as this evil narcissistic demon you paint me out to be."

"Nathaniel. Let me make one thing clear before i tell you exactly how i see things. I don't hate you, unfortunately no matter how much i try i cant bring myself to hate you or stop caring about you even though you strung me along for years and shattered my god damn heart, i still cant fucking hate you. And if you genuinely think i do then I'm sorry but you're just stupid."

"Pfftt could have fooled me. I think the cold shoulder you've been giving me these past few years gave me frostbite" Nate said with a smile hoping he could get Luna to crack even the faintest smile, he hadn't seen her smile in 3 years and he missed it so much.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes.. look i loved you so fucking much i would do anything to make you happy. We had constant bickering of who loved who more and things were great. Then i move 10 hours away and its the most painful, heartbreaking, gut wrenching thing i ever experienced and you just disappear, you stop talking to me everyday and I'm lucky if i got a response once every other week and maybe a video call with you and Darron once a month and that's being generous to you. And then while being heartbroken that the person i loved basically just disappeared on me then Elaine had to tell me her sister saw you out with NOT ONE. BUT TWO DIFFERENT FUCKING GIRLS ON DATES. WHat the actual fuck was that shit Nathani-"

"Look i dont know what tale you're spinning but we were never dating and i-"

"I KNOW AND THAT'S THE WORST PART OF IT ALL. I LET YOU LEAD ME ON IN HOPES ONE DAY YOU'D STOP FUCKING EVERYTHING WITH A FUCKING HOLE AND WOULD ACTUALLY SETTLE DOWN AND LOVE ME BECAUSE 'YoU lOvEd Me MoRe TiMeS iNfInItY aNd YoU aLwAyS wIlL' you fucking ungrateful son of a bitch you made me fall for you. And dont start with the i meant it as friends thing because i did not treat you like a friend and you know it. I never cuddled and kissed my other friends. I never made plans to move across the country alone with one of them and spend the rest of our lives together and you knew exactly what you were doing you FUCKING NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT" Nate snapped yelling as loud as he could; as he leaned in closer to Luna. They both just stared at each other in silence, Nate was waiting for the waterworks to start, anytime he yelled at her before she'd cry and he could comfort her and things got better but not a single tear fell.

"Nathaniel. I'm sorry I've been raising my voice but i swear to whatever the fuck god you wanna believe in that if you EVER raise your voice at me again i will fucking kill you without the slightest hesitation, do I make myself clear?"

They sat in silence as they had a stare down waiting for the other to break, but Luna grew tired of this game so she continued her point "Regardless if you meant it or not, knew what you were doing or not, you lead me on, For years, point fucking blank ohkay? I loved you and waited for you for years just to have my heart shattered. I genuinely cant tell you how many people i slept with to get over you."

This took Nate off guard and he couldn't hide the glint of jealousy that flashed across his face at the thought of her touching someone else the way she used to touch him, god just the thought of it made his stomach turn

"And after doing that and not succeeding in fucking you out of my system i was even more upset and broken" her voice broke and she had to take a second to compose herself so she wouldn't start to cry once she calmed down she continued

"Simon was the best friend that was there for me after you destroyed me. He picked up the pieces and put me back together, and didn't expect anything in return, he did it as a friend. He makes me happy and makes me feel loved-"

"Uuugghhhhh skip this part. You know how i feel about Simon." Nate groaned

"I just wanted to make it clear that he's the reason I'm back to myself and didn't end up destroying my life or overdosing to kill myself you dickhead. And i was content pretending like you never broke my heart and destroyed me. I was fine pretending like we were friends for Darrons sake. And then you saw how happy i was with Simon and decided you didnt like me loving someone other than you and made it very apparent how much you hated him. You got pissy anytime i showed him affection AND HE AND I WERE IN AN ACTUAL DEFINED RELATIONSHIP. And then when i stopped being around you because of how you were acting about simon and i you decided to drunk text me some god damn apology about how you were treating Simon and like thanks but how fucking dare you act like that's where our problems started. It was way before that. And to add fuel to the fire when i didnt accept your shitty apology you decided to misgender and deadname my boyfriend to try and what? hit a nerve and get me to talk to you? Like fuck off you egotistical self centered prick. But whatever at this point I've come to expect nothing less of you."

Tears were welling up and she couldn't hold them back any longer. Nathaniel took a moment and watched her, studied her face to see if there was any feeling towards him that wasnt hurt or anger that was salvageable

"..I'm sorry I made you feel that way about me. But i still love you and care about you Luna. I never stopped, even when we didn't talk for weeks i was always thinking about yo-"

"I tried to talk to you every single day Nathaniel. If you miss someone you talk to them not ignore them and fuck anything with a pulse"

"okay.. that's fair i deserve that. But please stop rebutting everything i say its not progressing this conversation..unless your plan is to spend the rest of our lives in this room arguing which with you doesn't sound to bad, doll" he threw in a wink and reached for Lunas hands. She pulled them back before he could even reach her hands "what the fuck did i say about that name" "awhh come on Luna i know that's your favorite nickname"

"YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT."

"Does Simon call you that now? Or is it still my special nickname"

"Simon knows that being called Doll makes my stomach turn amd my skin crawl." she looked Nate up and down to emphasize her point "for obvious reasons." Nate simply smiled "Luna keep up this tough girl act i like the look of it on you. But we both know underneath that tough shielded exterior is my soft babydoll that just wants love and acceptance from everyone that lays their eyes on her no-" "You think you know me but you know who i used to be. That 'soft doll' you love so much? You killed her, a long time ago and I've changed"

"Show me the new you then. I can promise I'll love any version of you as long as its you"

"STOP..saying you love me Nate you're trying to get in my head." She looked away from him and tried to pretend like she didnt still care. Nate reached out and turned her to face him "you and i both know i mean it Lunabel, i will always love and care for you. Thats why darron wanted us to talk things out. Please believe me I've changed, i go to therapy, i haven't touched any drugs or alcohol in a year, and im working on my problems. I know you dont want me in that way but i need to be part of your life Lun, i cant stop thinking about you. You were my best friend, the person i went to for anything without fear of judgment please don't take the only light in my life away from me."

"Nathaniel.. you know I'll never stop loving you but we're toxic to each other and only make one another spiral down. We just bring out the worst in eachother, and frankly, I don't like who you turn me into." He looked down defeated knowing where this was going to lead, but she pulled his face up to meet his eyes to hers "..i am.. so proud of you for getting sober Nate, words cant explain how happy i am you're getting help and bettering yourself. And I'll always care about you but i can't see a future for us where we can be close friends anymore, its not in the cards for us" he rested his head against her hand not wanting this moment to end, he missed her touch, how she could calm every ache and pain both mental and physical by just touching him. He hadn't felt a moment of peace like this since she left his life. She started to pull her hand away and instinctually he grabbed her hand and held it back to his face, tears starting to build

"fuck the cards, Luna please give me another chance as a friend please i miss you in my life and healing cant progress if i dont have you by my side"

Luna pulled her hand back to her side realizing she had made a mistake touching him like that, she felt the hair on her arms stand up and the anxiety rush up her fingertips and into her whole body, Her heart started to race and tears started to well in her eyes "Nate you and I both know you can't rely on someone else when you're trying to heal, it's not healthy on either end of the relationship; If you truly need someone to rely on that person should be Darron or a family member, not your ex-whatever I am."

Luna stood up to head for the door when Nate grabbed her hand to ask one final question, "Do you still love me Lunabel?"

There was a moment of silence as she pondered on this question, "Nate, you know the answer is yes but no amount of love can erase the past. Keep doing good and being sober, im proud of you." she pulled her hand back to herself and continued towards the door as Nate stared at her and watched her walk out of his life for the last time "I'll always love you Lunabel..." she stopped for a second to turn slightly, "I know Nathaniel.. I know." she continued out the door and walked away with the weight of a thousand tons rolling off her shoulders as she closed that chapter of her life and moved on with Simon to her happy life.

[wellesleyunderground]

Patriot Act reviewed by Lakshmi Gandhi (@LakshmiGandhi) & Asha Sundararaman ‘04 (@mixedtck)

This review first appeared on Lakshmi and Asha’s weekly newsletter - sign up here to get these gems delivered straight to your inbox! 

The second we saw the first previews for Hasan Minhaj's new Netflix show "Patriot Act" we knew that this would be a very Indian American (and Muslim American show).

The first extensive preview for it absolutely blew up Twitter and Facebook because it featured Hasan and Queer Eye star Tan France as they talked about clothes, being immigrant kids and (of course) how they handle people who bungle their names. As the name suggests, Patriot Act also does not shy away about what it is like being a young Muslim American in today's United States.

As big fans of Minhaj's work on the Daily Show and his one man special ‘Homecoming King,’ we were eager to see what he'd do with a show that was completely his own.

(Editor’s note: We also wanted to say that we’re thinking of all of our readers in Calfornia who are affected by the recent fires. For those looking for how they can help, we suggest heading here and here.)

Lakshmi: I've watched that little preview with Tan at least ten times. I still love it EVERY TIME I queue it up.

Asha: You know, I haven't actually watched the preview. It made the rounds on my Facebook feed but I never clicked on it.

Lakshmi: I can see that. As soon as I saw people oohing and ahhing over it I was skeptical because my heart is sometimes made of stone when it comes to these things. But OMG it's so good! They managed to turn it into something really endearing. (Readers can see for themselves how endearing it is by heading here!)

There were a bunch of little interesting bits in that segment with Hasan and Tan. I liked how Tan basically says he changed his name because no one could handle Tanvir (Plus, he is married to a dude named France, which is where his surname comes from. His name at birth was Tanvir Safdar.) But it made me really want a show where we just see Tan and Hasan go shopping all day. it would be a great buddy comedy.

Asha: It would be! OK, I’m watching it now. I like the quote about looking like he's a Rajneeshee.

Lakshmi: I loved how easily Tan cut the hoodie to make a perfect crop top. That's skill!

Asha: I know! I was impressed.

Lakshmi: There really was so much to love. For example, Hasan says he only styles his hair with tel (coconut oil) and prayer. I think the reason the South Asian corners of the internet in particular loved this trailer was because there was absolutely no pandering. It was just two South Asian Muslim dudes being South Asian Muslim dudes. While there were little explanatory asides (they did explain what tel was), it did feel as if we got a little peek into what they are like away from the cameras and the white gaze. To manage to do that with cameras everywhere during what is clearly a promo video is an art.

Asha: Haha, agreed.

Lakshmi: And it was a perfect lead in to the actual show because Hasan felt as if he was talking directly to a South Asian and/or Muslim audience at times,but in a way that also felt inclusive?

It's hard to explain, but there were a bunch of little things that he never did on the ‘Daily Show’ and that would be really hard to do on network tv.

Asha: What jumped out at you in that way?

Lakshmi: For example, there was a whole discussion about the lota (which is a cup in the bathroom used for personal washing). I thought that whole bit was a bit much to be honest, but you don’t see that kind of thing on other shows!

More extensively, it happened when when he talked directly to Asian Americans during the Affirmative Action episode (Which is episode two). You don't see anyone ever talking directly to Asian Americans, especially in comedy.

Asha: It's true. It did feel like he was speaking to a brown audience directly without worrying about whether white people would understand. I admit, i'd never heard the word lota before. I knew what he was talking about, but i didn't know there was a word for it!

Lakshmi: And! I feel like (this isn't the case with Hasan ever that I’ve seen) but a lot of South Asian comedians are pretty anti black in their acts

Asha: Yes, that’s also true.

Lakshmi: so to have a comedian actually call out anti black racism is quietly a big deal

And of course this isn’t limited to comedy. No one talks about anti blackness in the community in general. It's swept under the rug A LOT (not by your two correspondents, dear readers- — we yell at people!)... but that's why we aren't particularly popular at parties.

Asha: HA.

Lakshmi: But really, it’s true.

Asha: The whole segment he did calling out terrible Indian-Americans definitely felt like an in thing. Because as people who are underrepresented, we bristle when the terrible people in our communities are called out.

Lakshmi: it's our own version of 'a shanda fur di goyim."

Asha: the only thing i'd wished in that segment was that he'd specified American-born vs naturalized. I don't know why, but i feel like someone like Dinesh D'Souza needs to be called out for their shit in a different way than Bobby Jindal.

Lakshmi: Oh really? I feel like Bobby Jindal is actually worse. First he actually had power. And secondly, he's from here and is a trained scientist and doctor.

Asha: i definitely think it's worse when they're born in the States

Lakshmi: Yes. His state is extremely vulnerable to poverty and global warming and he doesn't care.

But anyway, I liked the Amazon episode of Patriot Act especially watching it now in light of today’s news about the new Amazon HQ2 or whatever they are calling it in Long Island City.

Asha: Oh yeah, that one was really good! I learned a lot about Amazon's reach. I had no idea they did web services!

Lakshmi: I only knew that because I've worked with sites that work use Amazon web services extensively.

Asha: also, what Amazon did should be illegal. He talked about how they purposefully losing money so they could benefit later.

Lakshmi: And also imagine being the richest person on earth, but not letting your employees go to the bathroom. he isn't letting them take care of the most basic of human needs!

Asha: i assume Jeff Bezos is a sociopath and possibly a grifter. He's gamed the system in a similar way to Trump in terms of being able to lose a lot of money without it affecting your bottom line.

Lakshmi: And if you look up workplace injuries that regularly occur in Amazon warehouses, it's all horrific. There's no reason for all of this suffering.

Asha: None at all. And i've heard those that work on the corporate side of Amazon don’t have it much better (although at least they can go to the bathroom). i'm definitely not renewing my Prime account

and I make a concerted effort to shop other places.

Lakshmi: Yeah, I think I am going to completely change my consumer relationship with Amazon moving forward. Did you watch the latest ‘Patriot Act’ episode, which is about oil?

Asha: I did! It especially relevant to me, since i'm an oil brat.

Lakshmi: I didn't know that there has been an ongoing oil spill for almost a decade!

Asha: I didn't either.

Lakshmi: Also I appreciate that Hasan could do that episode because he doesn't have to worry about advertisers. No one on Network television could tweet this, for example:

Now is the time to talk about America's obsession with oil and the impact it will have on future generations. This is a problem with a deadline we have to address.

Asha: Yep.

Lakshmi: Also (and this isn't particularly a secret because people like Chris Hayes have tweeted it) but discussions about global warming don't get ratings. People literally turn off the TV when it's discussed so it is also bold to devote an episode to it.

Asha: In some ways you can take more risks with a show on Netflix. I think people are more invested.

Lakshmi: Yes and it's a given that your audience will be much smaller. but hopefully they will also be more devoted.

Asha: Right.

Lakshmi: That's the one thing I'm worried about though in terms of this show. weekly news/comedy shows haven't been doing well on Netflix. Chelsea Handler’s show was cancelled after a year. Michelle Wolf only lasted a season. So I'm worried about this show just because the track record is not there.

Asha: well, this one seems be more in the style of a one-man show.

Lakshmi: But also, it’s hard to find! Yype Hasan Minhaj into netflix and Patriot act is the SECOND result, after ‘Homecoming King.’ Never underestimate people's laziness… if they can’t find it right away, they might not watch!

Asha: Haha. I think number five in the article you linked above is key. If it's on the homepage, then it will get more traction.

Lakshmi: Yeah, but I don't think it's been on the homepage when I have logged on?

Asha: I think it was in my case, but i had to scroll. But it might also be because i'd watched it before.

Lakshmi: This point from that Netflix analysis article was also key:

"But even though I was clearly interested in these shows, Netflix rarely if ever recommended them to me. This meant that the weeks when I forgot to check out the latest episode of the shows I was clearly interested in, Netflix never reminded me."

Because people need reminders. with regular TV you have the luxury of it always being there, so the extra step of logging on is a deterent to success for many.

Asha: Yep, especially when there's so much info out there, there's no thought involved. That extra step makes it so hard.

Lakshmi: That's also why I wonder if Hasan will get guests in the future. It's easier to hype something up if there is another person doing it as well.

Asha: True.

Lakshmi: Also, I know this is new to him and that they've already done a twitter video making fun of it but Hasan's pretty jumpy in these early episodes. He talks fast and waves his hands around. Sometimes it’s a lot.

Asha: It's true. It was hard to binge watch because of it (and people are going to be binging).

Lakshmi: I'm hoping that as the season continues he'll start growing into the role and start going a little slower. Because sometimes there are a LOT of in jokes. Anyone who has seen ‘Homecoming King’ knows that he loves basketball and 90s hip hop. He definitely peppers references to both of those things here. But he talks SO FAST that even when I kind of know what he's talking about it's hard to follow on occasion.

Asha: Fair and not everyone is going to process information as fast as he talks!

Lakshmi: Right, and I say this as a fast talker!

Asha: It's A LOT of info packed into less than 30 min.I appreciate how detailed it is.

Lakshmi: I generally have liked the show a lot, but there is definitely a lot of nervous energy. Also, he tried a jacket on in his preview with Tan but he hasn't worn a jacket yet on the show. Hahaha. Do you have a final thought?

Asha: It'll be interesting to see where this show goes.

Lakshmi: Yeah! I've liked it a lot. So I want to see how it (and Hasan) grow in the future.

Asha: And my final, final thought is that "he's so right about toilet paper!"