#he does not know why he has attacked her. she has done nothing to provoke him. it is simply that his mind is so contorted by pain & fear

[caterinawriting]

Broken Promises 2.

A/N : Thanks for the likes on the first chapter! Gif's not mine. Not proof read.

Pairing : Aemond Targaryen x reader, Cregan Stark x reader (later), Slight!Lucerys Velaryon x reader. Words : 1865

Kings Landing Before Driftmark

"Princess… there’s been an incident in the yard" (Y/n) looked up at the maid and then to her mother, who said nothing. "Is everything alright?" She asked as Joffrey squirmed in Rhaenyra's arms. The maid looked to her mother and then proceeded to take Joffrey back to the nursery. "Sweet girl please find your brothers. I'll see you all for supper."

"Yes mother." (Y/n) ran out her mothers quarters and towards her and the boys bedroom. When she arrived she saw Jace and Luke still in their training armor, clearly shaken up. "Luke are you alright? Brother what happened?" She asked her twin. "Ser Harwin he- well Ser Criston provoked him he spoke of the rumors-" No, Jace needed to stop talking.

"Maid! Maid please come in, I need you to bathe Lucerys. Luke please go." Luke groaned but followed the maid to the washroom. "Please Jace we cant speak of this, not with Luke in the room. We mustn't scare him with-well lies." Her sweet brother Luke didn't need to be plagued with senseless rumors, like the her and Jace.

"Im not sure if we can continue to deny the 'lies' sister." Jace sat down on his bed taking his sisters hand in his. "Why would the court speak of it so often, have you noticed none of us look like father, not even Joffrey." (Y/n) ripped her hand from Jaces, "That's cruel to insinuate Jace, our father is Laenor Velaryon why else would he claim us if he wasn't?"

Jace huffed "Embarrassment?" (Y/n) shook her head and turned to leave their quarters, how could he? To even think this was an insult to their father, mother and Ser Harwin honor. "Jace speak nothing of this to Luke." He nodded looking away, seemingly lost in thought. (Y/n) huffed leaving her brother, how could he? Their father loved them.

She stormed to her uncle room, usually she would enter by her own will but with their spat earlier she wasn't sure if he would see her. She approached the knights guarding her uncles bedroom, her mother never saw a reason to keep guards right outside their doors opting to only have them at the entrance of their share of the castle. But her grace the queen demanded her kin have knights defending them at all times, as she never went anywhere without her shield.

She walked past the knights straight into Aemonds room, he stood from his desk studying High Valyrian, most likely. "I don't wanna see you."

"I know you're still angry at me as I am with you, you said something very cruel to me Aemond. But I need your help, I need to know what happened during training." She sat down at the table waiting for Aemond to sit back down, he sighed in defeat. "Ser Harwin attacked Ser Criston." (Y/n) gasped, that was so unlike Ser Harwin, in all her time knowing him he'd never done something like this. "He must have been provoked! Ser Harwin is the most honorable man know."

"Well Ser Criston did say something about his interest in your brothers training. He said that Ser Harwin was acting like a father-"

"Treason! My grandsire will not see this unpunished, does he know of this?" She was fuming, her father was Laenor. Sure the knight spent more time with Jace and Luke on their training but her father- he, claimed them. "My mother has pardoned him, she aware of what he said but he is her sworn shield."

"And what of Ser Harwin, what will become of him. He is my mothers shield, he will be fine right?" Her eyes brimmed with tears, scared of what would happen to her knight. "Niece, (Y/n) don't cry I'm sure it will be fine." He hated seeing his niece cry, all his anger for her turned to sympathy. "Aemond. You don't believe the rumors, do you?"

"Oh (Y/n)" He pulled her into his arms and held the girl tight, he pushed all him mothers words to the back if his mind. "No I don't believe it, I know you and you are a Targaryen." (Y/n) pulled away wiping her tears, she looked up to Aemond, "Im sorry about what my brothers did to you, they were cruel to you."

"Thank you, but I think you were right. I think Aegon is more responsible for this than Jace and Luke. Im sorry I was just jealous of you and your brothers, Im a Targaryen too I deserve a Dragon too. One day you'll fly Zaraxes into some great battle, and I'll sit here helpless." He rubbed his neck looking ashamed in his confession. Poor Aemond didn't even know the opportunity he was granted.

"Aemond, having in egg hatch in the cradle is easy. But you, you get to prove that you deserve your Dragon! You will claim a dragon and that will make you the strongest out of all of us. It will show that you worked hard and fought for what you deserve. Who knows what strong and experienced beast you will get. I cant wait for that day to come so we can fly our dragons together." He looked up at his nice her word truly hitting him, yes his mother had told him something similar but (y/n)'s word touched his heart something not many could penetrate.

His niece leaned in and pecked his cheek, he blushed but kept his hands in hers. "I hope Aegon will see you for what you are, one day." She didn't know if Aegon cared for anyone but himself, he was cruel to his bother, ignored his sister and just used her brothers as his little henchmen. "He has no respect for me why would he?"

(Y/n) thought of her brothers, Jace her twin flame. He always took care of her despite them being the same age, he never judged her always believing in her abilities. Luke who looked at his sister with stars in his eyes, he hung to her every word. How could the queen let such a rift happen between her boys, her children in general it was like they were all strangers. "Aemond I'm your friend forever, I will be loyal -caring, anything you require of me. I only have one requirement."

"My mother, brothers and father they are everything to me. I only ask that you don't intentionally hurt them, I cant control your mother or brother words or actions but if you swear this to me I will be the most loyal ally to you. My brothers are still young, we all are and we will all make mistakes. If you make this promise not to hurt them you will have me fully." Aemond took her in, pulling (y/n) into a passionate hug that only children experience.

"I promise (Y/n) you have my word."

...

"Where is father?" Luke asked his mother, they were all sat for super their mother at the head of the table Jace and (Y/n) on her sides with little Luke on (Y/n)'s left. Rhaenyra looked up from her meal and towards her sweet children. "I believe he's still training with Ser Qarl, I don't believe he will join us tonight. We'll hope that your father will see us in the morning." The kids hummed continuing their meal, their father hardly joined them for meals always busy with Ser Qarl or matters in Driftmark.

Prince Jacaerys eyes kept shifting to the doors, yes their father hardly joined them but usually their sworn shield Harwin Strong would attend supper. Since he was commander of the City Watch his work would keep him late, he was always a bit late to dinner with he kids. "Mother Ser Harwin has offered to spend more time with me as he does with the boys, what we do will be my choice. Im going to ask me to train me with a blade like my brothers, so one day I'll be able to spar with them!"

Rhaenyra looked to her daughter then to the boys, she would have to break the news to them. "My loves, Ser Harwin is going back home to Harrenhal to take his seat." The children gasped, "is this because of what happened with Ser Criston? Aemond said his mother pardoned her shield, why wouldn't you do the same mother?" The young girl was shocked at the news. Harrenhal was so far from Kingslanding and her dragon would not be suitable to fly for a long time so there would be no visiting her knight.

"My love, it is not my decision if it was about to me I would keep Harwin with us forever... The lord Hand thinks it time for his heir to take his place, take a wife and have his own children. If we want him to be happy well let him go, to make his own family-" Their mother stopped, voice cracking.

"I thought he was happy, here with our family." Luke cried, his sister reached over and wiped his tears away. "Ser Harwin loves you all- but we have to let him go, it's time for him for him to have his own children... Lara please come in, Im feeling ill please stay with the children till they finish their meals." Rhaenyra kissed her children heads before exiting to her quarters.

(Y/n) held little Luke, comforting the sobbing boy. She looked to her twin, Jace stared at where is mother sat, she could feel the anger radiating off her brother. He turned meeting her gaze, sure he radiated anger but his eyes were glossy full of thoughts he couldn't say. He stood pushing his food away "Im not hungry." He stated then walked about towards their shared room, leaving her with the sobbing boy.

...

"Be good to your mother. I’ll visit when I can. But that may be some time." Little Luke stayed to the side distracting himself with his toys, Jace joining his mother and sister at the door. "I will return… I promise." (Y/n) stared at her knight, "You promised to see me more, how will you keep this promise when you break another." Silent tears fell from the girl.

"(Y/n)-" Her mother was stopped by the knight, "Princess I am so sorry, if I could I would spend everyday with you and your brothers. Im sorry I cant keep our promise, but this I swear to you all. I will see you all again, I will return... I promise." He said those parting words to their mother. (Y/n) simply nodded stepping back waiting for her bother to wish their knight goodbye. He just stepped away, closer to their mother. "Jace."

Ser Harwin looked down at Joffrey and kissed his head. "I will be a stranger when we meet again... Princess." He gave them all one last look before gathering his belonging walking out of their hall. Jace ran out his mother following with the babe, (Y/n) moved to comfort little Luke hoping to distract them both. She began to play with the boy when she heard words that confirmed all her fears.

"Is Harwin Strong my father? Am I a bastard?"

...

Tags : @spacexdrago

[masha-nikita]

Better have a good enemy than a crazy friend.

A certain good friend of mine is preaching omegaverse on me again. BTW, her brother is a astrologer. Dunno why she comes to me. She says her brother is too New Age. What does that even mean??

///

Friend- Hey, do you do relationship charts?

Me- I am not a professional astrologer but you know there are composite chart and synastry chart. Composite chart is what this relationship as a whole is going to look like, synastry chart shows how the 2 people influence each other. Why?

Friend- You ever think of doing synastry on Rommel and Montgomery?

Me- But there’s no point doing that; historically they didn’t have a chance to get close and personal, and feel each other how the energy plays out. Not that I know of.

Friend- It doesn’t have to be all historical if you just mess around for some fanfic inspiration?

Me- You’re pushing omegaverse on me again, aren’t you?

OK, whatever, it's a good astrological exercise, so here goes nothing.

Positive aspects-

Rommel’s Venus opposites Monty’s Neptune.

We’ve seen what Neptune does- Manstein has Neptune opposite Sun, Rommel himself has Neptune opposite Mercury, both Neptunes exert a level of self-deception and illusion.

Here in a synastry, Venus person lures the Neptune person into thinking this Venus person is more charming, attractive, beautiful than he really is. It tends to blow Monty’s perception of Rommel’s charm out of proportion. In the bleary eyes of the Neptune person, Venus person appears unusually beautiful for no concrete reasons.

BTW, I still have not managed to find out what poster Montgomery had of Rommel. Anybody has it?? It is probably a very well-done portrait of Rommel and I need to see it!

Rommel’s Venus and Mercury in Monty’s 5th house-

In a heterosexual relationship this means these two wants to have kids and raise them. the Venus-Mercury person is a great source of creativity for the house person; the house person will try to have kids, or in a broader sense “make things happen”. This synastry aspect is good for business partnership. Bosses and managers run a company like raising a child together.

Neutrals-

Rommel’s Mars conjunct Monty’s Uranus-

surprise attacks, high tension, Mars person feels provoked and wants to lightning-strike jump onto Uranus person, but this provocation tends towards feline playfulness. Note that angry/painful provocations tend to happen when Mars feels hindered, threatened, and frustrated. So, Mars does not sit too uncomfortably with Uranus, because the electrifying and high-strung Uranus gives Mars outlet for self-expression, much like lightning tends to induce fires.

In sexual relationships, the pair has very little formality when it comes to doing it. They may go to the supermarket for groceries. Then without any warning, they’re having sex in the Walmart parking lot with zero protection.

Monty’s Mars and Venus in Rommel’s 8th house-

8th house simultaneously signifies death and sex, and anything in your consciousness that you have no control over. So a synastry Venus in another person’s 8th house is about sex, there’s no way around it. Even if two guys are just “totally straight bro-friends”, they’d still have some sexual vibes. 8th house Venus is like an orgasm that won’t stop until it obliterates your brain, your consciousness just melts, and you experience a small death.

On the other hand, you can call a Mars on a 8th cusp a bit problematic. It is possible to have obsessive hate-sex. Monty’s Mars is a methodical and slower moving Virgo Mars (same as Manstein’s; the two generals have similar problems with being too slow and meticulous), so the Mars person (Monty) may “rape” the house person (Rommel) SLOWLY~ until the house person gives up all his juice and inner traumas. It either ends with “I am totally cleansed of my hidden dark side” or “I fucking want to kill this arrogant British jerk”.

Negatives-

Rommel’s Venus and Mercury opposites Monty’s Pluto-

Possessiveness is rampant, this may create tension. Monty’s Pluto gets into mental fist fights with the Fox in order to “claim” him intellectually, and the Fox’s sharp words tends to etch into Monty’s mind long after Rommel forgets what himself had said. Capable of traumatizing each other by throwing arguments.

Venus person often gets forced to accommodate Pluto person’s jealousy. Pluto wants to claim everything for himself. For example, Monty may want to make it obnoxiously clear to everybody that the Desert Fox’s name MUST be linked to his own. These two Get into each other’s head like a psychosis and cannot stop. Should seek mental health professionals (?)

Saturn aspects-

Rommel is more likely the one who tells Montgomery to shut up, wake up and smell coffee. As the Fox’s Saturn is seen to reign in Monty’s Sun (a sextile) and Neptune (a trine), both beneficial aspect; this brings the pair back to earth and face realities.

But Rommel’s Saturn also squares Monty’s Moon. The Moon person has difficulty making his emotions be known to the Saturn person. Sharing genuine emotion is hard for Monty. This results in emotional distance, gaps in communication and coldness. Moon person pines over Saturn person, but Saturn person remains oblivious.

Monty’s Saturn squares the Rommel’s Uranus and falls in the Fox’s 7th house. Compromises around sudden changes within a relationship are hard to reach, these incidents may result in petty breakups. Saturn delays results and enforces limitations, so Rommel is going to see a lot of things not working out with this classic British jerk- even general Patton hates Montgomery’s guts- therefore resisting commitment. But once commitment happens, it does not break. The pair tends to mate for life.

Friend- so it all boils down to Monty going- “Desert fox, beautiful, me wants to fuck him. Oh no, we are enemies, so many angsty stuff.”

Me- what kind of lousy TLDR is that??

[savedpeople]

didn’t liveblog at all but here’s some of my thoughts about tonight’s episode (spoilers ahead, including possible future spoilers)

It was great to see Negan and Maggie again, and even Hershel. I miss twd and its characters. It was also nice to see another familiar face in Armstrong (I’ve previously watched the actor in Grey’s Anatomy.) The Croat I’m not sure on yet, liked him this episode but it’ll depend on if they can keep him interesting or if he ends up being a “evil for the sake of being evil” type.

I’m loving the scenery, like it is such a nice change from the woods and dirt roads we had for most of the main show.

Writing-wise, having Negan take yet another kid under his wing feels repetitive, especially since Ginny basically feels like Lydia 2.0, and especially since Negan’s an actual father now and yet they’ve either killed Annie and their kid off-screen, or had something else happen so they aren’t together (I’ve heard they ARE alive and there’s some other reason why he’s not with them. If this is the case I’m very nervous of finding out why. I’ve heard theories and if those theories are right I’ll never forgive the writers.) THAT SAID, I loved Ginny and Negan’s scenes and I’ll never complain about getting to see Negan being Soft And Fatherly. Her being basically mute vs Negan’s naturally talkative nature makes an interesting dynamic too.

Negan actually feels like he regained the personality he kinda lost late into season 11. He feels very Negan again and hearing his snark again makes me very happy.

What we learned about Negan’s father more or less fits in with how I imagined their relationship/Negan’s childhood.

Negan’s very first scene being him in the shower upset/crying (?) plus him seeming to believe he’s not going to make it back to Ginny has me Worried and Upsetti.

I like that Negan apparently worked on a farm for a bit.

I’m sorry but Armstrong knowing about the line-up, that happened like 15 years ago in a totally different state is dumb and not believable at all. If he’d just somehow heard about the “empire” Negan once had, I’d still raise a brow but it’d at least be a little more plausible (aided by how unique Negan’s name is.) But “he once lined up a group of unarmed folks and bashed in a man's head with a baseball bat in front of the man's pregnant wife”? How tf would he know this? None of the people in Rick’s group are around to tell him, and none of the Saviors there knew Maggie was pregnant. Even Negan didn’t know she was pregnant or that Glenn was her husband until AFTER he killed him. Plus calling Rick’s group “unarmed” as if they did nothing to provoke the Saviors, or like they weren’t previously armed and threatening the Saviors before they were captured, is very... lmao. Also they once again left out/forgot about Abraham. Funny that they heard about him killing Glenn but Abe is nowhere in their story even though he was killed first and just as brutally. Also interesting how the line up continues to be talked about as like The Worst Thing Negan Ever Did and not like... everything else.

The continued “Negan has to pay for what he’s done” storylines are old, and the way it seems like we’re going to have TWO characters after him on top of whatever Maggie does/says to him, has me groaning. 

Yes Maggie never has to forgive him etc etc but her repeated attacking/insulting him is also prob going to get old (it was already was in the main show) especially considering the only reason he’s with her is because she asked for his help. like. maybe don’t overly antagonize someone you need? Makes it feel like a lot of the progress they made in season 11 just... doesn’t apply anymore, from either end.

The flashback to Glenn’s death was low key unnecessary. I promise AMC, no one’s forgotten.

I had other thoughts but I forgot them.

[davekat-sucks]

The overanalyzing canon anon again on the topic of Eridan: If you look through the panels, Eridan blinded Sollux, killed and destroyed matriorb in self-defence. First he battled Sollux, who arrogantly thought he could take Eridan. Sollux started - that's on him, but that's p much general consensus as far as I know. But then Feferi launched at him with anger and battle-ready, it was reasonable to assume that she wanted to kill him given her prior dialogue before the fight. I thought it was obvious on the first read, but I saw people disagree over years, that he straight up murdered Feferi. Now onto Kanaya, let's paint her view:

-She just saw Eridan demolish Sollux at presumably full force with a blast from his wand and one-shot Feferi - a fuschiablood

-If she doesn't stop him, she's as good as dead considering his plan, but in a stand-off situation, it's just as bad

She has a choice:

-stand in his way

-let him through

Both equally bad for her, so I wouldn't judge on either, although I'd choose the latter for a slim chance Bec Noir is to be reasoned with or something else happens, but she chooses the former. Now let's switch to Eridan's POV:

-Kanaya is blocking his way

-In his view, they're all as good as dead if they won't try to get on Jack's good side, so in his eyes if he won't proceed they all will die

-He expressed earlier he doesn't want to kill Kanaya in spite of his castist tendencies

-He internalized (with Kanaya's help) that he's a Prince of Hope only to reject his "destiny" (basically fulfilling it as a result later), because he deems situation hopeless, so the first thoughts that come to mind to him naturally would be to destroy hope

He has 3 choices:

-Kill Kanaya and proceed with his plan

-Stay and let everyone die

-Discourage Kanaya from stopping him

I see a lot of people claiming he just murdered Kanaya or provoked her to attack him willingly, however I believe he chose the third option. Here's why: he didn't hesitate to kill Feferi - his "destined true matesprit", when she attacked him threatening his life. Now, Kanaya unaware does this here indirectly too by denying him the only option he deems to give a hope for survival. If he really intended to kill her then and there, he would just do so, but he hesitated, meaning he considers one or both of the other options, preferably the third one, but he doesn't know how to do it. Then Kanaya looks at the matriorb and opportunity immidiately presents itself. Destroy hope by destroying matriorb. I'd say considering how he handled his hopeless situation (which contrary to the popular belief is non-violently and without bursting into anger), it would be reasonable to assume that if Kanaya didn't change her mindset to his about the Jack situation, she'd at least have no reason to stand in his way as she'd feel hopeless, but understandably she attacked, so he killed her in self defence. Eridan might not have been the greatest person morally, but at that point he did nothing wrong. I'd like to point out that there also was Karkat in the room, who neither intervened at any point nor was killed. I'd also say that because of this Kanaya wasn't justified to kill Eridan later as she had full capability to disarm him easily to prevent his plan and the argument of doing bad things due to stressful situation doesn't apply here anymore as time has passed, she didn't kill Gamzee despite claw-mark Nepeta's hat and Equius' glasses and her calm mannerism afterwards. This was a planned murder in revenge.

Everything about this is wwonderful! I lovve it! When Kanaya did eye on the Matriorb, it was then Eridan used his hope powers to destroy it. His arm never shown glowing when he faces Kanaya after all he done. Him destroying the Matriorb may have been done out of his unstable reaction of him killing someone he had loved and that he had to go destroy the next thing, whether he intended to or not. Some could also see it that because he was put in a hopeless situation of dying by Jack's hands or joining him, Eridan would believe that there would be no hope for the repopulation of trolls. In his eyes, he mercy killed it to be spared from being destroyed by Jack's own hands or starvation after it gets hatched. We have seen a timeline scenario that Jack would eventually made it to the meteor and killed everyone on sight. We just don't know the situation of what if he did find the Matriorb. Would he destroy the foreign object like it was nothing? Leave it alone for it to die on its own accord? Even if the Matriorb had survived, Kanaya would still be hesitant to be near Gamzee or let her sights out of it. May not help that Rose would be depressed and drunk off her ass by her arrival that she would try to balance being her girlfriend and making sure the orb hatches. If the Matriorb did stay intact during those Doomed Timelines, we can assume that they may as well be considered dead even if the trolls had finished their quest and gained God Tier. The only thing Eridan did wrong is more in the hemospectrum rule sense that he killed the future Heiress, the top highblood herself, a fuchsia. Maybe Karkat and Terezi had known that it was Gamzee who killed Equius and Nepeta. But they can't do much to him because technically, he was still in the right because he was higher on the caste system. In a sad sense, despite their home planet destroyed that they should have ignored their old customs and cultures, the trolls still FOLLOW it, even if it means someone like Karkat would still be oppressed because of his mutant blood. Maybe Karkat telling Kanaya to not go after Gamzee is because of not only he had seen him as a moirail and close friend, but because he was in the right as a purpleblood. A middle class jadeblood like her should not decide if he was in the wrong or not. Kanaya may have been right to kill Eridan for killing the future troll queen, but she would not be correct in killing a purpleblood who killed two blood colors that were higher than her, an oliveblood and blueblood.

[eclecticsoftgrungeaestheticzine]

In 2017 my Ex lied to the police our families and our children to take full custody of my son out of fear that I intended to do the same to her, a fear provoked by her husband's insistence that was what I would try to do something he decided without knowing anything about me or ever speaking to me about anything.

Because of the lies that they told I was restrained from speaking to her seeing my child for the next 3 years.

In 2020 I saw a picture somewhere online that looks like him that originated from Tumblr so I screenshot it we blocked it and asked if anybody knew who it was because it looked a lot like my son.

And as soon as I did the entire community within Tumblr at least in so far as anybody who followed or wanted to be followed

Used that inquiry as the opportunity to attack

Sending me DMs saying they killed him and buried him in the desert or that he was on the streets and a gay prostitute, or an hiding after being attacked by some random unknown individuals

And what I'm shocked about isn't necessarily the mentally and emotionally dysfunctional adults and I use the term loosely imagining that telling apparently killed their child is somehow in the realm of pranks or retaliation for some perceived insult ,

But really anyone and everyone else in any way ridiculous lives of the people with big mouths but apparently no balls who could in realizing or understanding what happened could dismiss or ignore the impropriate

You really shouldn't have to know or care about someone

To recognize the right thing to do .

I can have literally redirected all my assets towards the most creative or vicious civil lawyer I can find and almost assuredly had the most offensive of the perpetrators held responsible for the entirety of it and incarcerated for a period of 10 years in a federal penitentiary.

The fact that I don't feel comfortable being responsible for taking 10 years of somebody's life it shouldn't be confused with my willingness to smash their face into a freak show mess of blood and bruises, and I really don't need any other reason beyond the stupid shit that they have said since I realized that they were involved why does it matter they're grievances don't matter the accusations don't matter all that does is proximity

I'm not in any Rush I'll get to you and when I do I'm going to fuck you up straight out and I don't give a goddamn what you say ,

It's funny I told the stripper based on the things she was saying when I he must have put you up to this and for whatever reason whether sincerity or just seeing the opportunity to deflect responsibility she agreed he had

Now the suggestion is that I was just easily manipulated or gullible and I'm talking shit to an old friend who really hadn't done anything

But that has no possibility of being true

Because when I contacted this old friend and told him that I had been robbed and threatened by a sex worker who blamed him he for some reason thought he was in a position to provoke

You can decide why you're getting hit at the time if it helps

Asking someone to rob an abuse me or thinking that you can talk shit about it either way you're getting fucked up

I asked if anybody recognized that he's in the picture because I hadn't been able to speak to my son in 3 years

It's been 3 years since then and every message I've received about anything has been to explain some situation of which I never inquired imagining that who and where and what the people I left behind are doing would be some kind of source of jealousy or frustration which just further illustrates what a petty jackass mentally disturbed child this guy actually is

At one point when I suggested to her that she had somehow been connected to some random person from my past she found it funny and a bit delusional when there was nothing to connect them

I wonder what she would think now 3 years after suggesting it

3 years that he has spent day and night doing nothing other than trying to think of ridiculous Scooby-Doo drama scenarios to suggest to me

I will see what happened is your son is a transvestite gay prostitute going through a sex change who was attacked and he's in hiding and I'm the only one comfortable talking to so if you want to get a message to him I can do that if you suck my dick

I mean I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry when a grown man sees that as the best use of his time pathetic

[bibbykins]

Insufferable

A/N: The long-awaited flashback is here! It's short, but it is here! I hope this can really show the turning point in Jungkook's and MC's relationship and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. As usual, tips are not required but greatly appreciate. Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!

Note: This is a part (specifically a flashback) of The Household's Bunny series, so I recommend reading at least the Prologue before this one

Word count: 3.6k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jungkook x Chubby! Reader

Summary: Roommates are bound to have arguments, especially when one of them is as temperamental as Jungkook, but you didn't expect the first argument to get so unbelievably personal.

Warnings: abandonment issues, mommy issues, allusions to past abuse, family issues, crying, yelling, vomiting, panic attack, exhaustion, some soft yandere thoughts, some possessiveness, jungkook is mean and the MC gets a little mean too

There was something so constricting about memories of a shitty childhood. There were times when looking in the mirror felt like searching for the child in you so you could give her the hug she desperately needed. There were times when waking up felt like a check to make sure you were no longer in the home you had to grow up in far too quickly. However, the comfort of being in a different home only came so far when you didn't have anyone beside you or even emotionally available enough to talk to.

You stayed in bed for hours before it felt like a good idea to move, almost waiting for the mirage of change to fade before it brought you back to the gym with your mom or your uncle's apartment littered with whiskey bottles and leaky tear ducts.

Sometimes putting your best foot forward each day felt so hard with all-consuming loneliness clinging to your heels.

You had started your day going through your memory box. Hindsight said that was a poor idea. The box was a sure way to get you into a bad mood. You liked to think you breezed past all the stages of grief, but just because you accepted reality didn't make it hurt any less. The box was a strong reminder of that much as it sat with a melancholic aura. The creme color faded and the thorned vines connected to roses only added to the malicious undertones of its existence to your mental health. It was full of childhood photos, your birth certificate, school achievements, and the last known address your mom had.

Ah, your mom. What a way to bring clouds to your sunny day. You don’t know why you put yourself through the turmoil of the memory box. Maybe you were hoping it would be easier by now. You were always wrong. Looking through childhood photos and finding no love in the eyes of your mother when she looked at you and watching the love in your uncle’s eyes fade with your mother’s presence. You got to the fated birthday card, thumb rubbing over the defunct address longingly. You held the envelope in your hand, inspecting the birthday card she sent you. Three words in the repetitive note written on the inside caught your eye, and not the ones you so desperately wanted from her.

Feeling a familiar pressure behind your eyes, you tossed the card aside and stood. It was time to eat, go on a walk, do anything other than this. You found your way to the kitchen and came across a silent and solemn Jungkook. His jaw was clenched, but it felt like it always was around you.

Your relationship with Jungkook so far was not very complicated, in the way it was nonexistent. He either didn’t care about talking to you or he actively didn’t want to, you really couldn’t tell. This didn’t stop you from trying, though. Like an idiot.

“I’m making food, did you want any?” You asked from your place seated on the couch, and the silence that was his response for deafening, “Okaaaay.” You sang awkwardly, “I just know that you usually don’t eat throughout the day and-”

“And what do you know?!” He snapped, blinded by his pure and unbridled, but most important unprovoked, rage of you. Your eyes widened and your body jumped. Holy shit, you had never heard him yell like this, “You don’t know anything about me, or in general, so just stop trying so fucking hard!” He was harsh in his tone and it lit your whole nervous system on fire. What the hell did you do to him?

You shook your head, not sure why he was yelling about, but it made your throat feel like it was going to close, “Look, I was just trying to be polite, but you don’t need to talk about me like you understand-”

“Understand?! What’s there to understand?” He challenged, eyes wide like he was expecting you to say something but he continued, “You’re some spoiled girl living here rent-free because your precious dad doesn’t want to take care of you.”

Your heart caught in your throat as it shattered. He was right, your dad didn't want to take care of you, but not in the way he thought. Why was he doing this? Has he genuinely felt this way all along? Was he just holding in his anger until you poked the bear a little too hard? “You don’t need to yell at me.” You stated firmly and it seemed to only make things worse.

“And you don’t need to fucking be here in the first place!” He spoke, temper long lost and you could hear his voice mix in with Jungyoon’s, all he needed was a bottle of whisky and a set of calloused hands, “You didn’t need to fucking live here-”

“You don’t know anything about me.” You spat out. Now, you were losing your temper. You could take a beating, but for only so long, especially as an adult, "And it's not like you're paying rent either, so what do you know about me or my living arrangements?" You hissed and you watched his eyes flare, making you nearly regret your provocation.

“No, but I know how you look naked-”

“Fuck you.” You spit the word out at him, something you haven’t done to another person for a while “Don’t weaponize my work or play a game that you absolutely will lose.” You warned, “I know all about you, and I can use that, because you’ve been a star since you were 15, and that sucks, that makes you mad, doesn’t it?” Your temper effectively lost as you ripped into the rage-filled man before you, “Yet you don’t know anything about me, and that must piss you the fuck off, huh?” You stood from the couch, tears building in your eyes before you could stop it.

“I know enough, spoiled rich girl.” He seethed and you laughed humorlessly at this worldwide pop star calling you spoiled and rich.

“Not only are you wrong, but you’re also a poor listener.” You shot back, “I’ve told you all before Jungyoon isn’t my fucking dad, he’s my uncle.” His mouth opened but you cut him off before he could start, “He can’t stand the sight of me so he travels for work.” Your tears are undoubtedly falling, but you can’t stop, “And you’re talking to me like this because what? You had a scandal or something?” You gave him his chance to talk and boy, he took it.

“Mona told me you know your mom.” His voice was like venom, “So, why the fuck are you here? You have your blood relatives.” He exaggerated the word like it meant anything to you, “Why are you here, disrupting our lives, acting like an innocent orphan girl around actual fucking orphans-”

“I never said I was or acted like an orphan!” You exclaimed incredulously before scoffing, “That’s why you’re mad? Because you never knew your mom and I did? Because I know who my blood family is?” You could laugh at how ridiculous that was, “I know them, so what? Where does that get me?” You looked at him expectantly but he didn’t talk, “I knew my mom, and guess what? She just didn’t fucking want me.” He was silent, but you still couldn’t stop, “I’m sure if your mom could’ve got to know you, she would’ve kept you, because you’re not insufferable to be around, you’re just a fucking asshole.” You wiped at your cheeks furiously, “But me? I had 15 years to prove myself and it still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t enough. Jungyoon never wanted me either, he got stuck with me and had to cope.” Your voice began to break and you had to take a breath, “I was the insufferable one, so-” You stopped, finally as you regained your sense of reality and watched Jungkook who had an unreadable expression and the realization of the word vomit you spilled out to him hit you like a train as you exhaled quickly, rage in your voice quickly replaced with soft melancholy “I am the insufferable one here, so there.” You shrugged, face a wet mess, “Hope that brings you peace.” Your stomach was churning as you turned on your heel, unable to hold in your sobs. You couldn’t bear the awkwardness of waiting for the elevator so you opted to take the stairs.

You sobbed louder as the door slammed shut behind you, but you didn’t want to linger so you bolted down the stairs, the bile in your stomach signaling that you needed to find the nearest trashcan and quickly. You made it to the ground floor and spilled your guts into the small trashcan. Yelling always made you unbelievably ill, whether it was getting yelled at or yelling, the sickness it made you feel overflowed. The yelling only reminded you of-

You vomited again at the mere thought. You cried harder when you finally finished, breathing becoming staggered as you began to panic.

Fuck, they’re gonna kick you out, and then you’ll be alone again. You lost your temper, people don’t like other people who lose their temper. Why couldn’t you just mind your own fucking business and leave him be? You’re stupid. Why do you think you’ve been alone all your life? It’s because people don’t want to be near you. You’re-

“Insufferable.” You mumbled, numb, even if for only a moment.

Sure, Jungkook provoked you, but you knew better. You didn't go to therapist after therapist throughout your adolescence for nothing. You felt as if you set yourself back eons after that outburst. He didn't need to know all that about you, ever. He probably didn't even care to know, and you said it anyway, like you were gunning for gold in the trauma Olympics. You didn't want to minimize his struggles, you just wanted him to shut up and stop yelling at you. You let your eyes flutter closed as you cried. How can you complain about being alone when you're like this?

You don’t know how long you stayed there, sitting next to a trash can full of your vomit as you wallowed in your self-hatred. The all-consuming loneliness the boisterous house subdued returning with full force. Jungkook was right. You didn’t need to be here. You were only disrupting their routine.

You blew out a sigh as you staggered to the elevator, fully set on going up to your room and crying yourself to sleep after you clean up. You brought the trashcan with you, not having the heart to just leave your puke down there. You thanked your lucky stars when Jungkook was no longer on the second floor as you went to the kitchen and rinsed your mouth before going to take out the trash and take out your burnt oven pizza. Finally, you were headed back up to your floor. You watched the numbers tick by with tired eyes. You glared at the empty trashcan, electing to take it with you instead of making the trip back down to put it back. Surely, they wouldn’t need it for a few hours.

The elevator dinged as you grabbed the black plastic bin and then you were met with Jungkook. Relief flashed across his face before irritation settled on it, “Where the fuck were you?!” He asked hurriedly as you trudged past him, too exhausted to fight. You were running on autopilot the whole way up here, and you couldn’t bear another spat.

“I was on the first floor.” Your voice was low, trying to communicate you were done arguing as you lifted the bin as proof. You then set it down and went to your bathroom and began brushing your teeth.

He scoffed, “You were on the first floor for 30 minutes?” He asked as if he caught you in a lie but you nodded as you rinsed your mouth.

You were down there for thirty minutes? No wonder you felt so tired.

“Yep.” You popped the last letter before correcting yourself, “Well, I spent like 10 minutes cleaning up that bin, so not exactly.”

“Why?” He asked as if you were being ridiculous, as if he wasn’t the one on your floor demanding answers.

“I vomited.” You spoke simply and before he could ask, “Yelling makes me puke.” You were so blase about it he sighed in frustration.

You walked to your room and froze when you saw your memory box strewn about, and it was like a dam broke all over again. You looked at the photos, at the eager little girl looking for love in places she would never find it.

Old habits die hard.

Before you could even stop yourself, you sunk to your knees in garbled sobs and broken cries, “Hey, hey, wait.” Jungkook’s shaky voice did nothing to bring you back to reality as you cried. His hands placed themselves on your shoulder, making you flinch violently, much to his horror.

Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know why you were crying, but he knew it was his fault, at least in part. Even if at this moment it wasn’t, his outburst surely didn’t help. Fuck, he’s so dumb. Fuck, he shouldn’t have talked to Mona just moments before seeing you.

The envy of even seeing your own mother’s face ate up at him and he took it out on you. Not to mention that he made you vomit from the yelling. He suddenly felt more like an arrogant asshole than he did before as his hands now hovered over your form and he took a moment to look at your room.

Scattered on the floor were childhood photos and ribbons from competitions. Things Mona kept in her own house, having a whole wall filled with every one of their achievements. Even Jin had a photo album of their things. And you, you kept all these for yourself. You were the only one who cared enough to save these things and he wondered how much you threw away to maintain space in the small empty box. Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this.

You sighed shakily, “You can just go.” You cried, “You don’t have to be here.” You don’t know what he could possibly gain from watching you cry.

“I know.” His voice was calm, even, “Can I help you up?” He asked and you wanted to look up at him in confusion but you didn't want him to see your tears.

You both had just ripped into each other, and here he was, wanting to help you. Why would he do that? Why would he stay when he doesn't have to? Why would he want to help you up after a fight?

Too tired to even think about questioning him and no longer angry at him, you simply scoffed, “Can you?” You sighed, not having the energy to stroke his ego and stand up without his help.

You never let people bear your dead weight, not wanting the awkwardness if they couldn’t carry you, but right now, you just wanted to lay down.

He snorted lightly, happy to hear anything other than a sob for you, “Don’t worry about me, you just cry and mind your business.” He spoke lightly, and the comment made you fight a smile. Then, he lifted you with so much ease, you figured he was trying to show off as he placed you on the bed. He looked at you after he sat on the floor before his eyes caught onto the gold foil of a 16th birthday card. You were wiping at your face as he read the card against his better judgment.

I know you must be confused, and I can’t help that. I wish I could pretend to be a mom, but I can’t. I can’t be your mom, and I never should have tried. It would be best if we forgot each other. I just can’t keep pretending, and I know you can see it, even if you don’t want to.

I’m so tired.

-Mom

Now, he felt even more like an asshole. He also felt a little bit angry that your mother could just leave you behind without so much as saying sorry. She wrote like she was a teenager and you were her mother. She obviously didn't put much thought into the seemingly last message to her daughter and it made his heartbreak for you, “That was the last I heard of her.” You snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at your puffy face, “She had left months earlier, and then I got that, but she moved before I could try to see her one more time.” There was a distant ache in your words as you looked at Jungkook sitting amongst your memories.

“Is she… still alive?” He asked, not sure why he felt the need to know.

“Not sure, but it doesn’t make much of a difference, I guess.” You blew out a sigh, before looking at your papers and folded posterboards, “I was cleaning out my memory box, and I’m not sure why I do it when I know it just upsets me.” You could still feel tears leaking from your eyes as Jungkook picked up a photo of you on your 14th birthday, posed between Jungyoon and your mom. You had a bright smile on your face and they looked at the camera with a tight expression, “You can really see how much they didn’t want to be there, but that's the happiest they look in all of the photos.”

He wanted to say you were wrong, but he could see it. He could see the happy little girl trying to make up for the unhappy adults around her. He knew he should’ve asked Mona why Jungyoon didn’t try to call or visit or why she was so eager to take you in if you knew your family. He should’ve just known better. Yeah, he understood how it felt to be alone growing up, they all did, but by the time they were all 17 they had a home that wanted them. You were going to graduate from college soon and you still felt unwanted.

No thanks to him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted and you looked at him with wide eyes, “For being an asshole, I’m sorry- and for making you cry. I just…” He shrugged, “You’re right. I was jealous you knew your mom and I already was suspicious of you and I- I’m dumb, and I’m sorry.” He looked at you, eyes a bit glossy and you wondered when was the last time someone apologized for making you cry.

“It’s okay.” You smiled weakly, “You are dumb, but that’s okay.” You chuckled when he frowned, but eventually, he also broke into a short laugh, “I think… we’ve felt a lot of the same things in different ways, so I can’t blame you.” He wondered how you could be so forgiving, and he was scared of how many times that has gotten you hurt, “I like living here and I like all of you, so I hope I can get you all to like me too, even if just a little.”

“Don’t accept less than you deserve.” He spoke firmly before he started picking up your memory box, putting things neatly back in.

“Wh-”

He waved his hands nonchalantly, “You, sleep, I’ll clean this up and order some food.” He didn’t look at you as he said this, mostly to hide his blush, "If...If you want, I can give this to Jin. He has a whole place he keeps our stuff like this… he's really sentimental." He stumbled, still refusing to look at you.

However, he jumped when he heard you hiccup a cry. Ready to apologize, Jungkook was just about to turn to look at you until he heard you speak, "That… That sounds very sweet of you to do." You wiped a sentimental tear away as the blushing boy remained frozen.

"It's Jin's hobby, not mine." He deflected before waving his hand at you, "Sleep, I said." He frantically demanded.

You could see his ears getting red and you smiled, “Yes, sir.” You mocked in your work voice and made him freeze for a moment as you erupted into giggles while he whined, “Okay, okay, I’ll sleep.”

Eventually, you surrendered to your exhaustion as he delicately put away your papers and photos. He hummed lightly, smiling as he came across your debate team awards. No wonder he lost the fight before it even started. He turned around after lifting the box and sighed almost dreamily as he watched your sleeping face. You were beautiful, delicate, and puffy from the tears. He had the urge to keep apologizing for being such an asshole, but after looking through your achievements and your photos, he resolved to just keep proving it.

He wouldn’t let you get hurt again. Not by him or anyone, especially your mother, even Jungyoon was on thin ice.

His blood boiled at the thought of your mother for a reason he couldn’t understand. His hand extended shakily as he pulled the covers up to your shoulder and you hummed contently, making his heart melt a bit at the little smile you had. He wouldn’t fuck up with you again, not like this. He would be nice, at least a little, and first and foremost, he would order food you liked.

He froze.

Fuck, what food do you like?

He relaxed. Well, he could just ask the guys.

Fuck, they’re gonna ask questions.

Fuck, they’re gonna kill him when they found out he made you cry.

He looked back at your sleeping form, not having the heart to wake you up. He sighed, looks like he’ll just have to bite the bullet. He dreaded each moment as he quickly made an untitled group chat with the guys since you were added to their original one. He could only hope Taehyung wouldn’t change the group chat name to something stupid.

Tip Jar

[bloomvalyria]

Only for @rist-ix would I spend an entire day rewriting a scene from a fic I abandoned 4 years ago. And while it's not finished, I thought I'd share the majority of what's been done. And yes, that means all of this is brand new content that I literally wrote hours ago, save for one or two sentences. There is more, but I haven't figured out the transitions to those parts just yet. But I will be posting the entire scene once I figure out all of the little details. So, I hope you enjoy.

“No,” Layla said. “We need you to locate the Light half of the Dragon Fire.”

An emotion flashed in the wizard’s eyes that set Stella on edge. She expected him to laugh or say something meant to provoke them, but he didn’t. Instead, she watched the muscle in his jaw flex. Like he was restraining himself.  "There’s nothing left to find. I made sure of it.”

Stella’s stomach twisted so violently she stared down at her shoes to keep from being sick.

Tecna hesitantly stepped forward, clutching the file for dear life. “You may have destroyed the wielder,” she told him, eyes glancing down at the papers. “But the Flame itself cannot be extinguished. It is merely passed on to whoever the Great Dragon believes is worthy of possessing his power. Your task will be to help us find its new host due to your unique ability to sense its presence.”

The wielder. New host. It was all so clinical. So indifferent. Like Bloom had never been a real person to the Council. Just a weapon to use when they couldn't be bothered to intervene themselves.

And Stella knew that’s why they were truly there. Why the Council was so willing to grant her best friend’s murderer a temporary pardon. They didn’t care about how the girls or even how the rest of the dimension felt about it.

The Council had lost their greatest weapon.

And they wanted it back.

“The Princess of Solaria is oddly quiet this morning.”

The hair on the back of her neck stood straight.

“How unlike her,” he drawled on. “I’d hate to think of any of you angry with me. Isn’t that what your little group was all about? Finding redemption in those who’ve done wrong? Or does the rule not apply when the wrongdoings are personal to you?”

She knew he was baiting her. Wanting her to snap and attack him. Knowing she was a ticking time bomb the moment she’d stepped in the room; a fuse ready to be lit. And she’d be damned if she didn’t admit it was working. It made her wonder how Bloom managed to keep her composure around him all those times.

Tecna shot her a warning glare. A silent plea. Don’t, Stella could almost hear in her head. Don’t fall for it.

She didn’t listen.

Turning her head, she finally locked eyes with Baltor. His lifeless grey gaze seemed to light up under her burning stare.

“There she is,” he said. “Solaria’s Sun and Star. It’s been quite some time since our last little chat.” He motioned towards the chair at the other end of the table. “Shall we continue?”

“No, we shall not.”

He had the nerve to look offended. “You were so eager to speak with me before, I would’ve thought you’d jump at the chance to question me further. Especially now that I’m at the Council’s mercy.”

“There’s no point. It’s all just a game to you,” she snapped. “It always has been. And unlike Bloom, I’m not playing.”

“You’re not playing because you don’t enjoy it or because Bloom lost?”

[balsee]

a lot of people aren’t happy about haida and retsuko’s confrontation in the last episode, and even when i first watched it, a part of me went: “this is no way to help someone who just came out of a traumatic situation.” but then i re-watched that scene again and i don’t think it’s as bad as a lot of people initially thought. first, we have to remember that retsuko was building up to a breakdown or something similar from the very first episode. things go south for her almost immediately. she has a VR boyfriend and finds herself in debt for spending money on him and things take a downward turn from there.

the thing is, both retsuko and haida are hiding in this season. retsuko hides behind a VR boyfriend and the fame of an idol group when things get too difficult. she hides behind a smile so she doesn’t worry others. haida hides from the fact that he still doesn’t know much about retsuko, despite him wanting to do so last season, by striking up a relationship with inui (though it’s not from lack of trying. retsuko declines his attempts to hang out, and we already know this isn’t the first time she’s done this). we see that retsuko can’t keep up her happy facade in the idol group and desperately tries to, to the point that it puts her life in danger.

retsuko and haida are both submissive people as well (being a male hyena, it’s literally in haida’s nature to be that way). they both need to be backed into a corner or pushed to the brink to do anything, we just see this more prominently in retsuko since she’s the main character. haida needed to be pushed to finally accept that he can’t get over retsuko and needs to see her, and in turn he pushes her to finally let out everything that she’s been feeling. part of doing that is goading her on and provoking her in the song. i don’t think he was doing that to be mean, rather, i think that was his desperate attempt to reach her. don’t give up, prove me wrong. time and time again we see that haida respects retsuko’s life choices and her personal space, i highly doubt he’d just drop all of that and force her to cheer up after being the one to tackle her attacker and, for a brief moment, believe that she had been stabbed when he saw the blood on her scarf and his hands. he knows that in order for her to recover, she needs to be pushed. so he does. he’s forced to take action, and he pushes her to do the same. 

that’s why bringing her to karaoke was so important. much of her character growth and important developments with other characters happens in that room. singing was the only option for retsuko, because she wouldn’t have opened up otherwise. retsuko can’t do everything alone despite her numerous attempts to do so throughout this season, and haida needed to be the one to show her that. i want to be your safe harbor. let’s punch back together. it’s a turning point for both of them. they both needed to face the music. 

of course, singing a song doesn’t solve everything. that wasn’t what haida was trying to do or what the show was implying. eventually, we see retsuko return to work but nothing is solved immediately. however, little steps are taken to show retsuko is moving on.

TLDR: the creators of aggretsuko have done every character justice so far in the series. they wouldn’t just gloss over retsuko’s trauma and hardship like that for the sake of an ending or for romance. If we do get a season four, i’m sure they’ll explore retsuko’s recovery and her relationship with haida in more detail than what we got during this season.

[rosiehunterwolf]

little things

Prompts: Hugs and Crying

Word Count: 3,251

Characters: Lloyd and Kai

Timeline: Immediately after episode 18 (Child's Play)

Trigger Warnings: Trauma, Brief panic attacks

Summary: "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

-Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

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The trip back to the Destiny’s Bounty that night was thick with tension. No one spoke, but Lloyd could feel Kai’s gaze boring into him.

He wished the fire ninja would look at something else. He didn’t want to think about what he was looking at.

It had been Lloyd’s choice, and he knew it. Not that his range of options had exactly been wide when a huge, ninja-eating monster had been looming over them, but he had made the choice nonetheless.

He just hadn’t expected it to be like this.

He had thought that not being a little boy anymore meant he got to become stronger, fight better, and, of course, accompany the ninja on their missions.

But he hadn’t thought about the way his legs would become so much longer suddenly, forcing him to concentrate so he wouldn’t trip. Or how his hair would dangle too-long in his face, or how the green gi, on which the sleeves and pant legs had been rolled up a ridiculous amount of times, now fit perfectly. Reminding him too much of who he was and what he was meant to do.

Most of all, though, he hadn’t expected the gaping ache in his chest, like someone had ripped out his heart. He didn’t understand where it came from or what it meant, only that the sparkling display racks in the windows of Doomsday Comix had never felt more distant than they did now.

Their arrival at the monastery couldn’t come soon enough, and Lloyd began to dart down the hall, anxious to get away from the prying eyes of the others. Before he could get far, however, a hand snatched his wrist, and he looked back to see Kai staring at him apprehensively.

“Hey, bud. We’re here for you. You don’t need to go running off on your own.”

Lloyd shook his head. “I’m not. I just wanna go take a shower.” The voice that came from his throat wasn’t his, it was too deep. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

Lloyd repressed a shiver of dread, realizing Kai was still looking at him expectantly. “I got… there was a lot of rubble and dust when the Grundle caved in the roof, I just wanna get clean. I’m fine.”

Kai stared at him for a long moment, and for once Lloyd couldn’t read the expression in his eyes. Relenting, he let out his breath, dropping Lloyd’s wrist. “You’re not. But whatever.”

Lloyd merely nodded, realizing that wasn’t the most reassuring answer he could give, but being reluctant to hear his own voice again.

Forcing himself to turn away, he headed down the hallway, passing the ninja’s cabin and heading towards his room a little way down.

Uncle Wu had cleared out the small storage room for him that first night he had stayed on the Bounty, and it had been his ever since. He had appreciated the gesture, to have his own space away from the others, and it had always been a comforting little place for him.

But now, as he gazed around at it, the room itself wasn’t the only thing that was small anymore. The bed in the corner was no longer large enough for him, the mirror mounted on the wall was too low down, the Starfarer comics piled on the nightstand were too juvenile and suddenly much less interesting.

Lloyd sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. There was no point lingering here. He might as well go take a shower like he had promised Kai.

But when he pulled open the drawer on his dresser, he paused, gazing down at the clothes.

Everything was too small. Of course it was.

Lloyd took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to push down the bubbling panic in his chest.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Letting out his breath again, he grabbed a pair of old, baggy pajama shorts that had always been too big on him anyway, and an undershirt from his gi.

Slipping through the halls, he made it to the bathroom at the end of the ship and quietly pulled the door shut behind him.

As he undressed, all he could focus on was his body, how it was bigger and older and different now. He forcibly shoved the thoughts out of his head before he had a breakdown and stepped into the shower.

Lloyd turned the shower as hot as it would go, barely even noticing as the water scalded his skin. He didn’t know how long he stood there, only that the water kept getting colder and colder until his teeth were chattering. Not even bothering to wash his hair, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a bath towel, pressing his face into it.

He couldn’t do this. He had thought he could handle it, but he couldn’t. Lloyd was barely clutching on to the last threads of his sanity, and he needed to get out of here.

Quickly changing into the shorts and undershirt, he walked over to the window and carefully pushed it open. Stars twinkled at him from the dark sky, and he glanced down. The bathroom was at the top of the ship, just behind the bridge, so it was about a twenty-foot drop to the ground- easily enough to break a leg.

Biting his lip, he grabbed onto the window frame and pulled himself out, gripping onto the side of the ship as his feet found purchase on the windowsill. As he slowly stood, he accidentally caught sight of his face in the reflection in the window and nearly slipped, gasping sharply as he just barely caught himself from falling.

Get yourself together, Lloyd. You’re still yourself, just a little older. Stop being such a crybaby.

Reaching up for the edge of the roof of the bridge, he hauled himself up and crawled back from the edge a bit. Staring out over the trees, the soft glow of the city in the distance, he glanced down at his hands. Fingers too long, palms too rough.

He hadn’t known it was going to be like this. All he had done was age up a few years. It was a small sacrifice to make, seeing as the Grundle would’ve killed them all otherwise. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. Lloyd shouldn’t have been acting so selfishly.

He wrapped his arms around his legs, curling up into a ball.

For the first time that night, Lloyd let himself cry.

---

Kai paced back and forth across the hallway. “Ugh! Why do I let him leave? I know he always locks himself in his room and never comes back to talk to me!”

Zane frowned. “I know this is difficult and confusing for you, Kai- it is for all of us. But Lloyd’s always been much less straightforward than you. Perhaps we should try a less direct approach.”

“You’re saying I should just let him sulk alone for the rest of the night?”

“What I’m saying is that maybe we should just give him a little time to himself, time to process, before we all go barging in to speak to him.”

“Just because Lloyd thinks he wants to be alone doesn’t mean he should be. Isolation isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Kai,” Cole sighed, “that’s not what we’re saying at all. This is just a sensitive situation for Lloyd, and we don’t want to provoke him the wrong way.”

“A sensitive situation?” Kai barked. “Don’t you think I know that? But I’m telling you, he needs someone! Don’t you see? That’s what he does! He tells us he’s fine, but he’s not! Of course he’s not! And- and I want to help him, but I can’t. When he needs me most, I have no idea what to do. Augh, why did I let him come with us? I knew it was too dangerous!”

“Kai,” Zane put a cool hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

“Nothing I could’ve done?” Kai blinked up at him through watery eyes. “I was supposed to protect him.”

Nya squeezed his hand. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Kai. You can’t.”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just… hard. This isn’t some small little mishap we can go back and fix. This is big.”

“I know, but he’s strong. He’s going to get through it. I think Zane’s right, we should tread lightly. Although,” she paused, her brow furrowing, “I am starting to get pretty worried about him. He’s been in there a long time.”

“Wait,” Jay frowned. “In his room?”

“No, the bathroom.”

Kai’s head snapped towards her. “Wait, what? Did he go in there again?”

Nya shook her head. “I’ve been watching the door. He never left after he went in the first time.”

Cole glanced between them. “How long has he been in there?”

Kai’s gaze darted anxiously towards the bathroom door. “He went in there to take a shower nearly an hour ago.”

Cole’s eyes darkened. “Yeah, that’s too long. Let’s go.”

They hurried over to the bathroom door and the others hovered anxiously behind as Cole rapped his knuckles on the wood, leaning his ear against it. “Lloyd, you okay in there?”

There was no answer.

Cole knocked harder, and Kai could feel the anxiety building. “Lloyd? Bud? We just wanna talk.”

“Okay,” Nya breathed after a moment, “Lloyd’s as stubborn as a mule, but he doesn’t purposely worry us like this. Something’s wrong.”

“Zane,” Cole said, the struggle to keep calm evident in his voice. “Can you pick up anything?”

Zane stilled for a moment. “My sensors don’t detect any sign of movement.”

Kai’s heart skipped a beat. “Get me in.” Shoving past the others, he lunged for the door handle, yanking on it- but it didn’t budge. “He locked it! Why would he lock it?”

“We need a lock pick!” Jay yelped. “Nya, do you have a bobby pin?”

“I can get one, I’ll be right back!”

“Lloyd!” Cole yelled, banging on the door. “Open the door! Don’t do anything dumb!”

“Talk to us, bud!” Kai cried. “Please!”

“I’m back,” Nya huffed, skidding across the floor and holding out the pin. Jay snatched it from her hand and jiggled it in the lock, gritting his teeth. The others waited apprehensively as the seconds ticked by.

Jay pulled back with a sigh. “It’s not working.”

“Lloyd,” Kai moaned, “Open up!”

Cole glanced at them. “Should I break the door?”

Zane hesitated, then nodded. “Do it. We can always replace it later. Lloyd is more important.”

Everyone except for Cole stepped away from the door. The earth ninja held up his fists, and they glowed amber, the light spreading down his forearms.

“Stand back, Lloyd! I’m coming in!” Cole lunged forward, punching in the door and sending splinters of wood flying.

Kai darted to his side and stared into the bathroom, his breath caught in his throat.

Jay stepped around them, pulling back the shower curtain. Empty.

Just like the rest of the room.

“He’s not here?” Cole asked. “I just destroyed the door for nothing?”

“That’s impossible!” Nya yelped. “I saw him go in, and he never left! I’m positive.”

Kai’s eyes lingered on the far wall. “I know where he went.”

The others followed his gaze towards the open window, and Jay’s eyes widened. “He went out the window? That fall could seriously injure him!”

Kai shook his head. “He didn’t go down, he went up.” Glancing back at the others, he added, “Perhaps Zane had a point about the whole subtlety thing. Let me go talk to him first.”

The others exchanged reluctant glances, but stepped back.

Kai pulled himself out the window, balancing carefully as his fingers found the edge of the roof’s shingles. A chilly breeze hit him in the face, but he ignored it, hauling himself the rest of the way up with a soft grunt.

Lloyd was sitting a few feet away, curled in on himself as he stared off into the distance. Kai slowly eased his way over to him and the two sat in silence for a while.

Kai forced himself to look at the boy and felt a tug on his heartstrings. The way he sat there, so quiet and still, was as unlike Lloyd as his new appearance.

Kai shook his head. He couldn’t allow himself to think like that. No doubt Lloyd already had enough of those thoughts going through his head. This was still the same person. He was still Lloyd. He was still his little brother.

Kai leaned closer, allowing his shoulder to lightly bump against Lloyd’s. The green ninja gasped suddenly, as if just realizing he was there, and quickly scrubbed at his eyes. The action made him seem more like the young child that had been left behind. That, and the fact that he was shivering.

“Dude, you’re freezing!” He glanced down to see Lloyd was only wearing a pair of baggy shorts and a light tank top. “Why aren’t you wearing any proper clothes?”

Lloyd’s cheeks flushed, and he dipped his head, muttering under his breath.

“What?”

“I don’t have any proper clothes, okay?” More quietly, he added, “Nothing fits me anymore.”

Oh, Lloyd. “Hey, why didn’t you come to me? Y’know I’ve got way more clothes than I’ll ever wear, me and the guys would be more than willing to share stuff with you. And we’ll take you shopping, too, so you can pick out some stuff of your own. How does that sound?”

Lloyd sniffed, wiping an arm across his face. “Yeah, that sounds… that sounds good.”

“Here.” Kai slipped his sweatshirt off and draped it over Lloyd’s shoulders. “It’s not exactly warm out. Don’t make yourself sick.”

“Thanks.” Lloyd pulled the sweatshirt tighter around his shoulders, and Kai felt a small swell of relief as he noticed it was still a little big on him. So his little brother hadn’t grown up completely yet.

“Bud,” he said gently, “it’s fine if you come up here, but tell us before you do next time, okay? We were worried about you.”

Lloyd looked down, still refusing to meet his gaze. “Sorry. I just… didn’t really want anyone to follow me.”

“I know, but you can’t be alone forever. It’s not going to fix anything.”

“Being together isn’t going to fix this, either.”

Kai winced. “Not physically, no. But we’ll be here for you emotionally. We’ll help you heal.”

“But I can’t-” Lloyd stopped, sighing. “Sorry. I’m being selfish.”

“Selfish? How is any of this selfish?”

“Because! You guys were risking your lives, and I made the decision that saved you, yet I’m regretting I did!” “First of all, you’re not regretting you saved us, you’re regretting the other consequences that came out of the choice. Second, it wasn’t much of a choice at all. The Grundle backed you into a corner- literally- and that was the only logical solution at the time. It’s not fair. It shouldn’t have been you. You shouldn’t have been there. You shouldn’t have been forced to make a decision like that. But you were. So you have every right to be upset, every right to complain. That is not selfish.”

Lloyd finally turned to look at him, a helpless, floundering expression on his face.

Kai took pity on him, putting an arm around him. “Lloyd, I’m here. Whether you wanna talk, or scream, or cry, or just need someone to lean on, I’m here.”

“I… I don’t know what to do, Kai. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“You are. You’re still the same Lloyd, still our friend, our little brother, our charge. This changes nothing between us. We’re gonna take care of you, okay?”

Lloyd sniffed, putting his hands over his face, and Kai elbowed him gently. “It’s okay to cry, y’know. No one’s gonna judge you for it.”

“But I… I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“So? Everyone cries! It’s natural, and it doesn’t matter how old you are! I’ve cried, I’ve seen Cole cry, Jay cry, I’ve definitely seen Nya cry, and Zane- well, actually, I haven’t seen Zane cry. But that’s only because he’s a nindroid and physically can’t cry. He still gets upset sometimes, though.”

“I know, but… I just feel like I should be able to handle things better.”

“Are you crazy? I’d go insane if I suddenly just aged several years in the span of seconds. Compared to me, you’re handling it like a champ.”

Lloyd didn’t look at him. “Not really. I feel like a wreck right now.” His last words caught on a sob, and Kai glanced over at him, apprehension budding in his chest.

“Are you okay?”

Lloyd blinked rapidly, trying and failing to stop the tears spilling from his eyes. “Not really.”

“Can I hug you?”

Lloyd hesitated but nodded, and Kai wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Lloyd’s shoulders, pulling him close.

Kai didn’t know how long they sat there, but it was a while before Lloyd broke the silence. “Do you think the Final Battle is coming sooner, now that I’m older?”

“I don’t know. But whenever it is, I’m gonna be there. Even if that means I have to kick Garmadon’s ass for you.” He bit his lip, grinning sheepishly. “Shoot, I didn’t mean to say that in front of you.”

Lloyd snorted. “I already know that word.”

“Wait, who taught you that? Was it Nya? I bet it was Nya.” “It wasn’t any of you. I grew up at Darkley’s, what do you expect? That isn’t the only choice word I know.”

Kai’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare tell Zane, he’ll have a fit.”

A brief smile flickered across Lloyd’s face, the first once Kai had seen all night.

“Hey, if I’m grown up now, I should at least get to use some bad words once in a while.”

“Not happenin’, bro,” Kai grinned. “You’re not that grown up yet.”

“I could be fifty and you’d still say that.”

“What can I say, you’ve got a baby face,” Kai smirked, putting his hands on either side of Lloyd’s head.

“Stop that,” Lloyd grumbled, pushing him away. “‘M not a baby.”

“You are, and no dumb tea can change that.”

Lloyd bit his lip, trying to look away, but Kai forced his head to turn, looking him in the eye.

“Lloyd. It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend like it’s all fine. Let it out.”

Lloyd gasped, half falling into his lap, and Kai gripped him tight. It’s gonna be okay, he told himself. He’s going to be okay. We all are.

Lloyd’s path had been difficult from the beginning. It wasn’t fair that all this had been thrown on him- he was just a kid, even now. But it had been, and Kai had an awful feeling that this wouldn’t be the worst hardship his youngest teammate would have to endure.

But next time he would do better. He was one of the four elemental masters of the elements of creation. It was his job to protect Lloyd, to keep him safe.

It made his heart break to see Lloyd, usually so spunky, so unshakable, like this, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure it didn’t happen again.

But for now, he just hugged the green ninja.

He hoped, with time, it would be enough to heal him.

[aiyexayen]

So uh that essay about how Wei Ying takes after Yu Ziyuan? I am LISTENING

There were two things that really made me start to think about this, one was this tweet which says, "You know what we don't talk about? Wei Wuxian getting his cry-laughing from Madam Yu" and this incredible ChengXian video which sets their relationship to the tune of When Doves Cry and wrecks me every time I watch it (I just watched it now when I went to get the link and I'm whimpering).

As to the first matter:

seems fairly conclusive.

The second matter:

maybe I'm just like my father, too bold maybe you're just like my mother-- she's never satisfied

Was there this much meta thought put into one line of lyrics in a video set to When Doves Cry? Hard to say. There is now, though! Because dang, what a line. Essay under the cut.

There's a (valid) tendency to pull out the ways Jiang Cheng is more like his mother, and the ways Wei Wuxian is more like Jiang Fengmian, especially where their relationship is concerned.

Jiang Cheng wants proof of care through passion, through a willingness to fight. He will provoke and poke at things better left lying, with no shame and no regard to who else is around, dredge up old hurts and old grudges and old matters even if they're long buried or long forgiven, so long as he thinks it will get him the reaction he's looking for.

He wants Wei Wuxian to fix things by rising to the bait, rising to the challenge, giving him pushback when he says blatant lies, showing him that his shige still thinks he's worth it.

This is terribly unhealthy, of course, don't do this at home kids, but it's one of my core Jiang Cheng Truths.

Jiang Cheng shows that he cares in turn by being willing to fight, by pouring his emotion out even if those often end up as negative expressions. He's messy and unrestrained when he feels things, not all of which is from his mother--a lot of that is just Jiang Cheng--however, you can see the way he tries to rein in his emotions when he's embarrassed about caring or is trying to pretend that he doesn't care. Whether it's pretending to shrug off Wei Wuxian and walk away when they have a problem, or trying to rein in his temper at Lan Wangji on Dafan Mountain. Because from his mother, he's internalised the message that to engage in the fight is proof of care, so the opposite is also true.

And oh, when he hurts, he seeks to hurt back. That's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

Wei Wuxian, meanwhile, frequently defaults to calming and placating with Jiang Cheng. Not as much as Jiang Yanli does--but more on her, momentarily. We see Wei Wuxian complain at Jiang Cheng to not get riled up, tell him he's being stubborn and just to accept the peace offering, etc. The difference is that, at first, with Jiang Cheng, a lot of that is just general pouty childishness and Wei Ying-ing, general sibling shit.

Plus, he was still willing to fight/express himself fully. They fought a lot. He always ran after Jiang Cheng, always roped him into expressing himself, always let Jiang Cheng fight it out. He understood, at least intuitively, and he didn't back down. The benefits of having grown up together, and of being an older one/middle sibling in the dynamic.

But when things really started to break down between him and Jiang Cheng, when the conflict was much bigger, much more grown up, much more real, Wei Wuxian started modeling his behaviour even more on Jiang Fengmian in regards to Jiang Cheng, possibly seeing more of Yu-furen in Jiang Cheng and responding the way that felt natural.

(Also, a lot of his own guilt and depression/apathy/intent to die and assorted other issues came into play at roughly the same time.)

Thus, we see Wei Wuxian start to turn down Jiang Cheng more often, and back off. He shrugs it off or rejects it when Jiang Cheng reaches out, and he stops reaching out himself. He tries to placate Jiang Cheng, tries to defuse him, tries to send him away. Some of this is because he cares and is trying to show he cares by taking himself out of the situation; some because he's trying to maintain his lies; some because he just doesn't have the energy to deal with this anymore.

After Wei Wuxian is resurrected, by which point he's done what he perceives as the worst things to Jiang Cheng, this intensifies. Jiang Cheng provokes him beyond reason, lashes out, starts fights, sneers, and Wei Wuxian almost rises to the bait but he stops himself. He lets Jiang Cheng be angry and he shrinks himself down, he backs away, he disengages. A decent portion of this is Wei Wuxian himself, and his faulty perspective on the situation and on Jiang Cheng's anger and complexity of emotion and intent. Some of it is lingering relationship modeling off of Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen's relationship. Either way, he's definitely "being the Jiang Fengmian" in the situation.

Additionally, Wei Wuxian tries quite actively to model himself off of Jiang-shushu's good qualities, which is understandable given that this was his primary benevolent adult figure and liked him quite a lot. We see it in the way Wei Wuxian teaches, the way he instructs with archery, the fact he prioritises archery to begin with, the way he expresses kindness the way it was expressed to him, through encouragement or noticing people who are down and out. Things that Wei Wuxian, at least, attributes to Jiang Fengmian's character (I'm trying so hard not to make this a Jiang Fengmian salt post) even if a lot of that is just his own outlook on life at the end of the day.

But all of these kids were around both of these parental figures/people of authority. This is most clear in Jiang Yanli. We see the way she's become a mediator figure between her parents when they're upset with each other and understands them both.

She takes all the kind intent and patience and willingness to placate and calm from her father, and adds in the knowledge and understanding needed to actually use it interpersonally. She's more open with communication, can identify the heart of an issue, and effectively diffuse a lot of tension. She has middling success with this with regards to her parents, but a lot more success with her brothers. It helps her see eye to eye with Wei Wuxian, and share that spark of playfulness between them too. It helps her understand why Jiang Cheng says things the way he does, and what he means.

We also see Jiang Yanli reveal herself to be the steely, fiery daughter of Zi Zhizhu when someone attacks what is hers. She is just as much her mother's child.

So, too, Jiang Cheng is his father's son. I think this is true much more when he grows up and inherits the sect and has held it for some time in the wake of tragedy. We see evidence that he's become a well-regarded leader, and for all we see cool, flashing, calculating glares and bitten-back sneers, we see worried disciples fussing over his health. We see a mild manner that was learned, and an authority that has accrued with time, and a self-assuredness when dealing with his peers that seems more modeled off what we see of Jiang Fengmian than of Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Cheng is a match for Zidian, through and through, but he is also steady and determined and bold, good at making and keeping allies, or else how could he have achieved the impossible in rebuilding his sect? He learned to take some of his mother, some of his father, find something left over of himself out of the wreckage of his life, and meld it all together.

That brings us to Wei Wuxian. I had, at the time of first seeing that tweet, showed it to a friend who said:

Are we gonna talk about how Wei Ying gets his cry-laugh from her? Are we gonna talk about how he learned that intense glare from her, too? Or his tendency to act swiftly and decisively even when it might not be the actual best course of action? Or his violent protectiveness of his siblings?

Inspired. And yes, we are.

Yu-furen was a figure of absolute strength in Wei Wuxian's life. Uncompromising, unyielding, impressive as hell. She had the capacity to inspire deep loyalty and was fiercely protective over things that were hers. Her son, her daughter, her family's reputation, her sect, her home, her disciple. (Yes, even Wei Wuxian was hers, too, she made quite the point about that.)

Wei Wuxian is very easygoing. But when he decides something is his, whether that's a duty or a person or whatever, it's his to protect, it's his to do anything for, even cause a scene, even start a war, even lose allies or his own life. It's one surefire way to get him to fight no matter what headspace he's in.

You can see Jiang Cheng realise/remember this in real time in the Ancestral Hall, when he can't get a rise out of Wei Wuxian by talking about himself and his family, and that stings, but he's desperate to get a rise out of him somehow, and immediately he sets in on Lan Wangji. And it fucking works. That's what gets Wei Wuxian to almost fight him. If he'd posed a real threat, and if a whole bunch of other complicated psychological shit wasn't part of the mix for everyone involved, there would absolutely have been a fight.

Wei Wuxian latched onto the Wens, yes, and they were his, too, but they weren't the only ones. Lotus Pier was his, as was Jiang Cheng. Yunmeng Shuangjie was not just a pipe dream, and Wei Wuxian's loyalty was not simply easy to sway. Yunmeng Jiang's strength, their reputation, their future, and Jiang Cheng's along with it were always on his mind.

He lied, and fought, and even left and took himself out of the picture to that end. For Jiang Cheng, and for his ability to carry on. In so many ways, Wei Wuxian absolutely took so much of his perspectives on that from Yu Ziyuan, for better or worse.

Uncompromising, unyielding, even when turned on himself. Never satisfied, always pushing for more, for answers, for solutions, for the right path, even in his own frequently easygoing and curious ways. Unhesitating, across the board. Even if it meant his own life, or his core.

There is nothing wrong with hesitating. Hesitating, worrying, being uncertain, trying to think first, trying to find the right path, and then being able to find it, or choose it anyway, is such an act of courage. That's a quality Jiang Cheng has in droves. He hesitated, when he saw the Wen soldiers coming for Wei Wuxian. And then he chose to sacrifice himself. For Wei Wuxian, there was no hesitation whatsoever. No forethought. No choice, really. Just go. I think that's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

I had to go digging to find that message my friend sent me, and I'll conclude with my response:

If we're going to talk about how Wei Wuxian is like Yu-furen, then we'll have to talk about how Yu-furen knew that. Or at least, the only parts that she ever had cause to see in him while she still lived. How he was hers even if he wasn't her son. How Fengmian's lazy favouritism was intolerable in this way, too, in the way it sowed discord where there didn't need to be any, and was a barrier between her and the things that should have been more fully hers. How the farewell at Lotus Pier was more of a betrayal than she intended. How she thought she and Wei Ying met over more even ground at that moment, because she knew he loved Jiang Cheng as much as she did, in the way she did. How she expected more from him than for him to give parts himself up in such a horrifying way. How she underestimated the actual damage that had been done. And if she'd survived to see it, she just might have been truly horrified.

[pathofcomet]

look at what you taught me

fandom: bridgerton series

pairing: colin/penelope

summary: Colin and Penelope have never been awkward with one another. Except for this one time.  (AO3) (book spoiler ahead)

In the beginning, when he travels, Colin can think of nothing else but the present moment: a ship under his feet, the lull of a carriage, the wide expanse of the world all around him. Whatever destination is coming next, if he is certain enough – if not, he’ll just make it up as he goes. The furious scribbling of his quill against paper, as he races to put down in words all his eyes take not but a second to admire. It feels like everything he never knew he wanted to do so desperately. It feels right.

Then, it becomes more difficult to return home, the more he travels. But soon enough, the travel starts to wear him down. He begins to look forward to when he’ll return home: despite his own mother’s incessant remarks, despite the brotherly arguments, despite having to see another sister married off. Even the most loving mamas trying to marry off their daughters to him seem somewhat adorable, if he is gone long enough. But the need to travel comes back, like an itch that won’t go away unless he scratches it away. He makes promises to his sisters – so that he can stay as much as possible, but he goes insane with anything more than a couple of months. He likes to believe that by now his family simply made peace with his many eccentricities, and simply paid the cook more when he was around.

He treasures the pockets of familiarity he gets when in London as much as the breathes of fresh air he gets when he’s away. He imagines he drives his mother wild, with all his coming and going across the continent. He knows what Lady Whistledown writes about him as well, and he’d strangle the woman himself, for alerting everyone of his return so punctually. Ambitious mamas are hard to fend off when you’re a young man, and it only gets worse the older he becomes, because the expectation of marriage dawns ever closer.

***

“You must agree, Colin,” his mother says, and at the mention of his name, he straightens in his chair, because it’s a terrible thing to be singled out in a conversation by Violet. “Penelope is quite an agreeable young lady.”

Colin agrees, both because he truly believes so, and because while his mother doesn’t need his confirmation, she’s kinder when she has it. Benedict, from the other side of the room, leans closer in his chair, so he can hear better whatever commentary their dear mother is about to impart with them.

“I dare say she’d make quite a suitable bride for you, really.”

All hell breaks loose. Benedict drops his foot to the floor with a loud thud, while Colin drops his sandwich, eliciting a swear for which he’s reprimanded by three of his sisters. And then.

“Mother!” Eloise shrieks, quite offended – which Colin finds surprising, considering that the two of them are best friends. “That is entirely too daring!”

Colin agrees, but he is too busy desperately trying to cough away the piece of sandwich stuck in his throat. Eloise, though still quite shocked, pushes her cup of tea in his hands, just to get him to make less noise. He downs it in one go, grateful to not have died of this particular cause. His heart, quite in override still, might provoke a heart attack soon enough if his mother does not change the subject.

“I believe you misremember your ABCs, dear mother,” he jests, because he does not want to take the idea seriously. “There’s one son for whom you haven’t found a bride quite yet.”

Benedict shifts in his seat, suddenly finding his newspaper way more interesting. But this time around, Violet doesn’t rise to the so delicious bait of teasing her second, not when her brain is so set on match-making her third.

“I don’t see why not. Isn’t she a friend to all of us?”

She stops, waits for a nod from each one of her children currently engaged in eaves-dropping on the topic.

“She’s polite, witty,” she continues listing reason after reason, all to which Colin is entirely familiar and now that he thinks about, has noticed himself, several times over, in Penelope. “And quite darling.”

He imagines darling is what girls who aren’t called beautiful get stuck with by kind mothers. He never actually stopped to even consider Penelope in any of these ways: she’s always been there, ever since he was in short pants – and that’s almost already half their lives. A fixed presence by the side of his younger sister, and a favourite of his mother, despite all the awkward wallflower tendencies in Penelope. But he doesn’t recall ever trying to pick apart her character, find her individual traits, even consider her as a… woman.

Colin is suddenly shamed by his wilful, manly indifference. Violet arches her eyebrow at him, clearly still expecting an answer.

“Mother,” he adds with a sigh. “I can promise you most certainly that I am not marrying any time soon.”

“One never knows,” she murmurs, though she allows him his momentary peace, and returns to her embroidery.

***

Only that his mother doesn’t stop with her comments, and they seem to grow in number each time she meets Penelope, which unfortunate for him, is often enough. The next morning, as she returns from shopping, she comments on how nice she looked in a dress of her own picking, and not her mother’s own distasteful choices. Each time any married sibling sends a letter, or comes visit, her efforts in getting Colin to marry are reinforced. She jabs at him with comments: morning, afternoon and evening.

And suddenly, Colin can find that there’s nothing else much that he can think about, but Penelope, and how exactly this insane idea came to live in his mother’s mind. So he starts paying attention.

He supposes parties would be generally more enjoyable if he didn’t have to attend them with his family, as much as he loves them. He can physically feel Violet’s eyes drawing across the room, and then settling, decisively, on his back, a list of eligible ladies for marriage already compiled in her mind, alongside one for dancing partners. Colin can already guess what her mother is about to tell him.

And he is right. She pokes at his elbow with her fan, nodding to the edge of the ballroom, where Penelope Featheringston stands, card empty and looking like she’d rather be anywhere else but here. Well, at least they do have that in common.

“Colin, darling,” and really, that’s all that Mrs. Bridgerton has to say to any of her children for them to do her bidding.

He makes his way across the room, trying his best to avoid getting roped into introductions by mothers or old friends alike. The faster he’s getting this over with, the faster he can return to the appetizers, and to a reconnaissance of the room of his own.

“Pen,” he says, and she startles, turning around to him with the widest of eyes, and the shyest of smiles. Huh, maybe she does look quite darling.

“Colin!” she exclaims, smoothing down a hand over her dress, and while it’s a gesture driven by nerves, it looks quite adorable.

“Would you do me the honour of a dance?”

He extends out his arm, which she takes – an answer without needing one. And it’s quite a shame, to all the other men in the room, because Penelope is a wonderful dancer, and a most attentive conversationalist during them. She asks him of his most recent travels, destination known through the letters he sent to Eloise, most likely. He’s received his fair share of foot stepping and the occasional elbow in his side, but never with Penelope.

She animates with each step, blushing at his hand around her back, smiling at a spin. He never considered how soft her body feels under his fingers, underneath the thin material of her dress, but now he is acutely aware of her warmth seeping through. He asks of the books she’s been reading, which he knows are plenty.

And at the end of the dance, he finds that maybe dancing with Penelope Featherington is not such a tedious task, after all. And at the end of the night, he’s quite certain she’s been his best partner.

***

Art exhibitions are not really Colin’s thing, really. His interest lays in a world painted in words, not in colours. But considering the fact that one of Benedict’s pieces is to be exposed to the world for the first time, of course his entire family must be present. He is proud of his brother, for having found a path in life, having chased it so full of determination.

Colin’s good at chasing as well. He’s just been proven, more and more lately, that he chases only things that cannot last, which displeases him greatly. It doesn’t mean he is not entirely supportive of his older brother. What other reason he’d have to be present here, at all?

“Penelope!” Eloise shouts, gathering the attention of her friend.

Penelope spins around, red curls jumping with the movement, and she blushes. Colin is pretty sure she’s done this every single time he’s seen her, though maybe he now begins to understand why. She nods her head in their direction, all Bridgertons replying in kind. Eloise lets go of his arm, rushing instead by her best friend’s side, hands entangled in a most obvious display of friendship and affection.

Colin knows Penelope’s family – and so he knows there’s no such camaraderie between her and her sisters, as it can be so easily observed between himself and his own siblings. He’s glad these two have each other then: a friend is one’s most fearful champion.

He walks by his mother’s side, going through the gallery, the two girls just a few feet ahead. Eloise is the taller one, yet both their heads are bent together as they discuss, such an air of ease and comfort about them. His sister says something, and suddenly Penelope turns a bit more to the side, laughing: a sparkle of mischief in her eyes and the loveliest pull at her mouth. Now, Colin finds himself quite taken with her mouth, staring because he finds it impossible not to. The soft pink of her lips, as she’s worried at them trying to come up with a comment about this and that painting. The white of her teeth, as she smiles. Her tongue, wetting her lips, from time to time, as the rooms grow hotter, with all the people passing around.

He’s lucky that the art pieces all around are distracting enough that Penelope herself doesn’t notice. His mother does, though.

“Quite darling, no?”

And she looks at the exact same person that he is, and most certainly not at the painting of a fruit basket in front of them.

“Mother,” he warns, a slight squeeze around her arm.

“Oh,” she sighs. “You can’t blame me for caring enough to try.”

Maybe not. But he can blame her for opening his eyes to something that he, like everyone else – he begins to realize - didn’t really know was right there.

***

So Colin Bridgerton, like a true hero of his days, leaves for Wales. And like the caring gentleman that he also is, he uses one of his friends as his excuse. It helps – it’s quite a useful distraction, for a while, walking over the hills, staring out at the sea, spending evenings eating hearty meals with someone that knows him well enough, but not too much. And he writes in his journal, of his quiet passing days.

By contrast, the nights are not so quiet. While he tries so hard to forget the society back in London, at night there are no distractions: and even so, while asleep, he cannot really control his unconscious mind.

So Colin dreams: at first, the most innocent of shadows, people that he can vaguely make out. Then the visions get clearer, and longer, and more tormenting. It starts with Penelope’s smile, and that mouth of hers, which in a dream he can admit to wanting to desperately kiss. Which, in a dream, he has leave to do. He knows, upon waking, that whatever taste lingers on his tongue from his haze, it certainly has nothing on the reality, and hates himself all the more for it. Then her body, close to his, the press of her bosom hard against his chest, the roundness of her bottom in his palms. The next morning, he is in need of a change of bedsheets, like he is nothing but a horny teenager.

He is sure his mother must have cursed him. The dreams continue, sweet haunting that only makes the guilt rise in his throat. She’s his sister’s best friend, for heaven’s sake, and here he is, conjuring her up in his dreams with no respite! It’s like his body has decided to take an entirely different path from his mind.

Colin is miserable on a travel, for the first time in way too long.

***

Maybe that’s his excuse. He lacks sleep, and for him, the most pressing issue is, obviously, still the one of his marriage. Violet Bridgerton is popular for many things between her children, but her cutting words and sharp mind are not necessarily one of those, especially if used against one of them. Colin has found himself at the receiving end of exactly that for weeks and months now, so he is apprehensive when he is summoned back to London.

But if his mother has need of him, then he must make haste. Of course, the real reason is simply the news of Daphne’s new pregnancy, which is incredibly happy. Colin loves to be an uncle way better than he likes being a younger brother.

Especially since right now, Anthony and Benedict have taken the liberty to pick up with the teasing where their mother stopped.

“You left in the middle of the season,” Benedict remarks, and Anthony clasps his back in a way that only eldest brothers can do, when they require an immediate answer.

“Oh, very well,” and Colin actually scowls. “I needed to get away. Mother has been incessant with this bloody marriage thing.”

And because they’re his brothers, of course they joke and jest more, at his own expense. Everyone in their house knows that his mother has her eyes set on Penelope, and everyone in their house is already tired of her insinuations, Colin most of all. That doesn’t mean that Anthony, or Benedict are going to pass up the opportunity to rile him up on the subject. It’s been a while, after all, since they’ve had reason to laugh at him in particular.

It’s the damn lack of sleep, and all of these comments, which are entirely unwarranted and so overwhelming, despite his protests, that make him throw all decorum out the window.

“I am not going to marry soon, and I am certainly not going to marry Penelope Featherington!”

“Oh!”

The softest sound, really – feminine and delicate and belonging to the single person that he didn’t want to see right this moment. With much slowness, burning red with shame, Colin turns around to look at Penelope Featherington. And he knows: by the expression on her face, the haggard breathing with the desperate rise and fall of her chest, and her eyes, that he just broke her heart.

What he says right there on the spot, he cannot truly recall. A fumbling of stupid, empty nothings, apology too small, too unfulfilling, because Penelope draws herself up and protects the little bit of her dignity left.

And she leaves, so fast that he doesn’t have the time to do what he wants: follow her to clear up things.

Benedict punches him in the arm, quite terribly hard. It still doesn’t feel as bad as the gut-wrenching guilt building up inside himself, or the self-loathe that he so much deserves. Because just as he was beginning to make up his mind regarding how dear, truly, she has grown to be for him, he has done the worst thing a person who cares about another can do: hurt her.

***

He shows up at the doorsteps of her house the following day, surprised to find Penelope alone in the drawing room.

“As you might suspect, Mr. Bridgerton,” she says, when he inquires after her mother and sisters. “Many men before you have made the same declaration, though maybe in more private settings. I am afraid any hope of marriage left in this household falls upon my sisters.”

It is the fact that she doesn’t use his name that stings the worst, and makes him understand exactly how much harm he’s done with his extremely horrifying comment.

“Penelope, I am so entirely sorry for the way I behaved yesterday. You must believe me when I say I did not mean to offend you in any way.”

“Must I?”

He stops, opens his mouth: no words come out. She looks the picture perfect of peace, and maybe this is what should worry him the most. It is his first time seeing her as more than a blushing young woman, and suddenly maybe he realizes why she is Eloise’s best friend: she’s made of tougher stuff than what he’s been led to believe so far.

“What I said, the way I’ve said it. I’ve hurt you… It’s entirely intolerable and I apologize for the situation you’ve been put in because of me being an ass.”

Situation that she handled entirely fine, given the fact that he so singled her out in a market of numerous others undesirable young ladies. She sighs at his curse, something that sounds like Colin, that has the tiniest of fondness in the tone. Something in his chest tightens with fondness of its own, for this woman in front of him, who has been nothing but a most beloved friend, to his entire family – and to him, as well.

“I…” she stops, taking in a deep breath, her hands shaking. “I already told you, no feelings were hurt. You’ve made no remark that wasn’t already obvious to everybody in the ton,” she says, and she waves in the air the latest number of Lady Whistledown.

Of course, even when he misses it, his sisters and his dear mama are quick to fill him up on the happenings of the season. In today’s fresh paper, Whistledown has written down that were the two of them ever to get married, she’d have to give up writing altogether – such an unfitting match never having been seen before.

“You can’t possibly believe those writings,” he says, suddenly offended at the paper, though he’s not quite certain on whose behalf anymore.

“I didn’t, until –”

Until he has reinforced them all the more, with his declaration. Colin suddenly feels himself flush from head to toes, at being so openly chastised. His brother Benedict has already told him, that he has cruelly overstepped most demands of polite society when he lost his temper in that way, in such a public place.

“I really do apologize, Penelope.”

He hadn’t realize how much he enjoys saying her name until now, when he so desperately wants her, needs her to say his own. A sign that things between them can be mended, move from the terrible awkwardness between them.

“Pity doesn’t feel that nice to those who already know how pitiful they are, Colin.” His gaze snaps up at her, and finds her already smiling at him – quite charming, even if so utterly self-depreciating. “Though you are forgiven.”

He bows at her in thanks, lower than he’s gone in months, if not years, just to show how entirely grateful he is. Of course, Colin is yet too young, rich, handsome and charismatic to know the meaning of her words, and too stupid of a man to try and understand where she is coming from.

But he will, in due time.

For now, maybe his favourite sight to see during his travels becomes the shores of England, when returning home. Because home has just started to mean just a tiny bit more.

[star-going-supernova]

So. Madison Russell. Godzilla vs Kong. Welcome to my ted talk.

From a writing perspective, they totally wasted her character. She, Josh, and Bernie were almost exclusively used just as a method of showing the audience what was happening "behind the scenes" at Apex. Pouring the whiskey on the computer was about the only thing of note they did, and even that didn't do much. Mechagodzilla was only slightly hindered by it, and if they'd just written Kong and Godzilla differently in the fight scene, they could have skipped the whiskey part entirely. They could have done so much with having people "on the inside" but Monarch as a greater organization barely had any presence at all, which negated the need to have people on the inside. 

Maddie's steadfast insistence that Godzilla wasn't a bad guy at the beginning had so much potential, but it became the conspiracy thing instead. It felt less like she wanted to prove Godzilla wasn't turning against humans, and more like she and her new conspiracy friend wanted to crack open a shady organization, which was frustrating. If they wanted to depict her as someone who was forced to become competent at a young age, which was part of the serious, intense vibe I got from her, instead of the inexplicable personality shift, they should have showed her doing something to help. Getting in contact with her dad/Monarch, giving them evidence to begin a city wide evacuation outside the Apex Hong Kong HQ, messing something up or making it harder for the Apex people to get Mechagodzilla up and running—just, anything. 

The fact is, we had Maddie being very proactive in KotM. Stealing the ORCA was the game changer. Instead of taking that to the next level in GvK and giving her an opportunity to continue that aspect of her character—that is, being someone who refuses to sit by when she can do something to help, even if it’s dangerous—they rendered her obsolete. 

The movie wouldn't have significantly changed if you took her character out. If Bernie went by himself and ended up in Hong Kong, nothing would have changed, because Maddie didn't do anything of personal importance. She went from being an active character in KotM to being a passive one here, which are a pet peeve of mine. If you saw my post about what I liked and didn’t like about Godzilla (2014), that might sound very familiar.

It would also have made so much more sense if she developed a love for studying Titans instead of focusing on conspiracy theories. Plot-wise, it would have given her claim to her dad that Godzilla was being provoked more credence, and could’ve opened an interesting dialogue between them to reinforce that she knows what she’s talking about. Monarch was obviously still a big part of their lives, given that Mark had rejoined, so it would’ve been the perfect opportunity for Maddie to pursue a Titan-related future. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved Jia, and wouldn’t want to take her out of the movie or even diminish her presence in it. In fact, I think they should have focused on Jia, and only on Jia. 

Hear me out: Godzilla vs Kong should’ve been split in two. A Part 1 and Part 2 situation. 

For Part 1, we keep a lot of the GvK canon, especially the Kong-centric stuff. Include even more scenes showing us that he’s protective of Jia, don’t just have Dr. Andrews say that he is. Have him defend her from something dangerous, maybe even from some humans. Include their backstory, how he saved her during the storm. And start it even earlier, before Godzilla attacks Apex the first time. Keep the whole Hollow Earth plot, keep the fight scene in the ocean, keep the discovery of the temple and the axe.

And on the Godzilla side of things, start earlier on that as well. Keep the other Titans in, have humanity tentatively believing that a time of great peace is upon them. Their mere presence is restoring the planet. There was an emphasis of nature, particularly in relation to the Titans, in KotM that I really think they should have included more of in GvK to better tie the two movies together, if only they hadn’t swept all the other Titans under the rug. They wanted a movie about a fight, not about the Titans. So, undo that. Show us a little of what Mark does, do a sweep of the other KotM cast (cameos at the very least) to show how they and Monarch are working to uphold that peace post-Boston. I’d also have loved to see Boston itself, too, five years later. 

Instead of giving us a Generic High School scene, show Maddie learning about the Titans alongside the experts. Bring back the wonder and amazement she had when she saw Mothra for the first time, when she reached out and touched her. She’s second generation Monarch, make that mean something. When Maddie took the ORCA to Boston, she had a conviction. She couldn’t not have. She was there in part to lure Ghidorah in, but I can’t even pretend to believe her plan ended with that. She knew Godzilla would come. 

That sort of belief is hard to kill, and if death via Ghidorah wasn’t enough to scare her off, no way anything else in those five years afterwards did. Her belief that Godzilla is good survived to GvK, and should’ve been a main focal point of her character. Godzilla attacks Apex—she and every other Monarch person who has spent years studying the Titans knows something is up. 

Keep Mark’s character development regarding his opinions on Godzilla. He believes Maddie when she says something has to be wrong, not just because he trusts his daughter, but because he looked into Godzilla’s eyes and saw more than just an animal. 

They’re in Part 1 only minimally, just to establish their presence and how they feel about Godzilla destroying Apex. The focus is clearly on Jia and Kong’s side of events. 

Sorry, but I’m leaving Josh out and seriously dialing back Bernie’s role. Instead, the character we follow inside Apex is Ren Serizawa. We see his motivations, his ambitions, and he becomes a character with more than just a few lines. Does he resent Godzilla? Or does he resent his father, too? Serizawa’s sacrifice was willing, after all. He was no accidental casualty. 

Part 1 ends in the Hollow Earth, with Ghidorah taking control of Mechagodzilla on the surface. Alter the timeline just enough so that Godzilla has only just arrived to Hong Kong, and Kong’s still in the Hollow Earth. The final scene is Mechagodzilla emerging into the city as the sun rises. The post-credits scene is our KotM cast in the Argo, location unknown, watching a screen with Mechagodzilla on it. 

Part 2 begins with a reveal: Ren Serizawa isn’t dead. 

Backtrack. This part focuses more on the Godzilla side, and Monarch. It’ll have flashback scenes from the five years between KotM and now, showing exactly why Monarch as a whole firmly believes Godzilla is reacting to something instead of being anti-human all of a sudden. The Titans are not inherently malicious; destruction is a side effect of their size, no more, no less. He earned his title of King in KotM—make it mean more than just trying to make Kong “bow.” Make him a protector, a guardian. He’s nature’s balance. By definition, he must protect humans as well. 

What Monarch needs to figure out is this: what is he trying to protect them from? 

They investigate Apex in search of the answer, but knowing from past experience the sort of things Godzilla gets proactive about—the MUTOs, Ghidorah—Monarch mobilizes. They prepare for another fight, at Mark’s instructions. He witnessed both San Francisco and Boston firsthand, even if the former was from a civilian standpoint. 

Godzilla has more hunt scenes. He targets a second Apex lab after his ocean fight with Kong, telling Monarch that they’re on the right track. 

Maddie, being a minor and not dragged into the thick of things (yet), has to stay home. Remembering the podcast she sometimes listened to, when the topic was focused on the Titans, she tracks Bernie down, and he tells her about what he saw: the eye. 

The two of them go to the ruined Apex building and discover the eye is gone before getting caught. With Monarch currently breathing down their necks, they recognize Maddie to be Mark’s daughter and take her to Hong Kong. Sorry, Bernie, but that’s mostly as far as you’re involved. Timeline-wise, this is roughly when Kong puts the axe in the temple floor and Godzilla blasts a hole to the center of the earth. Monarch is following Godzilla, but they’re behind a bit thanks to the tunnel shortcuts. They’re still unaware that Maddie has been kidnapped and is en route to Hong Kong.

This is also when Mechagodzilla gains a life of its own. Walter Simmons is killed and Ren Serizawa becomes trapped in the link to Mechagodzilla, serving as the bridge between the robot and Ghidorah’s mind. Ghidorah is essentially controlling MG by controlling Ren, who is controlling MG. Make sense? He’s the puppeteer’s puppeteer. 

We reverse some things. Godzilla fights MG first, gets beat around but not as much as in GvK because he isn’t fresh out of a different fight. Kong returns to the surface through the tunnel Godzilla created, having carried the one remaining HEAV out himself, because Nathan Lind has never flown one before and doesn’t know how they work. Kong wants to protect Jia, and Ilene Andrews and Nathan Lind are very lucky that Jia likes them. 

Mechagodzilla sees Kong and takes off, and Kong decides now would be a great time to fight Godzilla, who’s having a pretty bad day. Monarch arrives, and half of them split off to follow MG while the rest stay to try and deescalate the situation. Other than Godzilla faring slightly less well, the fight goes mostly the same as in the movie, except for one big difference: one of the Monarch crafts pick up Jia and Co, and she’s able to get Kong’s attention from the back of an Osprey well enough to tell him to stop fighting. There’s a bigger threat out there, and Godzilla definitely needs to be okay enough to fight it. Either they work together, or they reschedule. 

She’s very stern about it, and though no one’s really sure what the two Titans decide on, they stop fighting. They leave together to go after Mechagodzilla, who is currently being slowed down by Mothra, because she deserves to be in this movie. The other Titans basically hinder Mechagodzilla as much as possible as it rampages, telling Godzilla where it is. Monarch finally figures out that it’s heading for the nearest entrance to the Hollow Earth, right around when they also figure out that Ghidorah is involved. With Dr. Andrews and Nathan Lind’s input, they theorize it intends to take more of the power source down there to further strengthen it. 

They do their best to clear the cities in its path, evacuating as many people as possible. It’s all they can do. As in the past, they must trust Godzilla to do the heavy lifting. Around the same time, an assistant tells Mark that some guy named Bernie called and is asking for him. This is how he finds out Maddie was taken to Apex’s Hong Kong location.

Meanwhile, the Apex guards and Maddie finally arrive to find the facility abandoned and damaged, MG gone, and Simmons dead. The guards more or less split, leaving her there alone. Maddie, being Maddie, goes deeper until she finally discovers Ghidorah’s skull and Ren Serizawa inside, trapped in his own head with Ghidorah. It’s killing him. 

He’s aware enough to have a conversation with her. They argue about the Titans. He wants Godzilla destroyed out of anger over his father’s preference for Titans, rather than his own son. 

(“You’re not the only one with ghosts!” she yells at him. “You’re not the only one who resents a parent for putting Titans ahead of you when you needed them!” He chokes out, “I do not resent my father—” “Coulda fooled me. Why else would you be spitting on his sacrifice like this? Who are you trying to help, huh? All the other kids out there who are losing their moms and dads because you let Ghidorah out? Sorry, mister, but the last time someone did that, your dad paid the price.”) 

Ren is getting worse. He’s going to die if he stays in the link much longer, but he can’t disconnect. Maddie, looking around, gets to work on something. The camera slowly pans around to show that there’s a second pilot seat, back-to-back with Ren’s. It would allow for seamless switching between pilots without MG ever not having someone at the controls. 

Even with the other Titans’ help, Godzilla and Kong are unable to stop MG from going through the tunnel and into the Hollow Earth. Monarch is unable to follow, because of the gravity issue. They’re both tired from the journey and their fight, especially Godzilla. This is their last chance. If Mechagodzilla reaches the power source, it’s all over. 

The fight doesn’t go in their favor. They’re both bad at working together, so their attacks are uncoordinated at best, actively hindering each other at worst. Kong gets flung off a mountain and MG pins Godzilla. Even thought he caught himself, Kong isn’t going to make it up in time to help him. 

Maddie puts on an identical pilot setup, and with Ren’s instructions, switches the link over to herself, freeing Ren. He collapses forward, immediately falling unconscious from the release of the strain. Fighting past the pain and overwhelming presence suddenly in her head, Maddie does what she does best: she causes Ghidorah problems. 

She screams, and it echoes like a roar through his skull. 

In the Hollow Earth, Mechagodzilla stumbles. 

It’s the beginning of the end. She can’t control it or even really stop Ghidorah, but she gets in his way as much as possible, giving Godzilla and Kong the edge they need to finally get their act together and use some teamwork to take Mechagodzilla down. They destroy it and return to the surface before parting on amicable terms. 

After too long, Mark arrives at Apex with a whole team of people. Ren Serizawa is found comatose but alive, and he’s quickly removed for medical attention. Though Maddie’s also alive, there’s something else clearly wrong. She’s still wired into the piloting gear, stiff and unseeing, as if she’s frozen. Her eyes are open but distant, pupils virtually gone from how constricted they are, and her jaw hangs open slightly. Despite how tense her body is, she’s limp. Nothing they do wakes her up, even after getting her out of the skull. 

They wheel her out on a gurney to where a handful of Ospreys landed, but as they leave the building and step out onto the roof, they find Godzilla has returned. He watches them, and he’s exactly as aware as Mark remembers. 

(“She tried to help you,” Mark calls out to him. No one knows exactly what happened in the Hollow Earth, during the fight, but the scene in Ghidorah’s skull was telling. “No, she—she did help you!” For the second time in her life, Maddie put herself in Ghidorah’s path and, ultimately, won. Only this time, her victory came with a price.) 

Godzilla snorts before leaning over the roof’s railing, moving toward the gurney. The humans all back away, even Mark, though he doesn’t go far. Spines humming, eyes flaring blue, Godzilla rumbles deeply. 

On the gurney, Maddie stirs. 

Later, much later, after Maddie and Jia have met—heaven help everyone else, honestly—they sit together on the edge of a pier over the ocean, Jia leaning comfortably against Maddie. It’s quiet. They’re alone, watching the sunset. A heavy footfall behind them, the feel of the vibration trembling through the wood, makes them turn around. Half concealed in the brush at the edge of the island’s foliage, Kong stands, facing them. 

They both wave before standing. They sign goodbye to each other, then part ways. As Maddie walks away to a waiting Osprey, we see behind her as Kong crouches to allow Jia to climb into his palm before vanishing into the forest. 

The Osprey takes off over the calm ocean. It has a different design than most, with a large door set in the side instead of at the back, more like an ordinary helicopter. It’s open as they go, Maddie secure inside as she stares out. A smile spreads across her face as jagged spines slowly breach the ocean’s surface, easily keeping pace with the Osprey, which lowers to be closer to the water.

For just a moment, in the fading light, Maddie’s eyes almost shine blue. The screen goes black to the sound of Godzilla’s roar.

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (42)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

Ah... that expression of shock on your face, that lack of reaction... Or at least that frail voice that is yours. Danny couldn't have dreamed of a better reaction from you. We would think we were in a movie, where the girl discovers a terrible secret about her boyfriend. This is actually the case, with one exception: We are not in a movie. Danny watched you, his sneaky smile on his lips, like a cat watching the little mouse in his cage, the lion watching the gazelle, or the wolf devouring the poor little doe that will soon serve as his meal. He was slowly moving towards you, but you backed up against the wall, causing him to stop.

“Surprise, Honey. Happy to see me?” He said with a provocative smile.

“J-Jed? No... I don't believe it. It's a nightmare... or a prank! You can't...” you start to say.  

“Can’t what? Being the one who since all this time harasses you every night making you doubt about your loyalty to your boyfriend? I can tell you my sweet little star, that all this is real. But... let's redo the presentations. Jed... never existed. My real name is Danny, Danny Johnson, to serve you.”

“You've been lying to me all this time... But why??”

“Think twice Sherlock. I am... quite wanted in other states. I wasn't going to swing my true identity, to a complete stranger I had just met. And then... there was a good chance... that you have heard of me. But luckily for me... that was not the case.”

“Your office...”

“Want to take a look? since the time you wish to enter it, now that you know the truth, I can show you. Follow me.”

Danny walked past you, while looking behind him to see if you were following him. He unlocked the door of his office and opened it so that you could finally enter it. He saw this expression of surprise on your face again, and this temporary absence of voice made him shudder. Everything went as he had imagined. It remains more than to know how all this would end.

“It's you who... who did all these murders... these innocent people... McKellan and... Hoggins.” You said finally.

“Nice deduction Sherlock. This is me. All those nights when I was inventing an excuse to go out... it was only for that. Spying, stalking... and kill.” Respond Danny leaning against the door.

“And also, to see me as Ghostface. You... you tried... you tried to rape me... and you pretended nothing had happened the next day.”

“And I apologize for that. But I had to... play my role. You would have suspected me too soon otherwise. I had to dissuade you from Jed. Let you accept me as I am. More confident, more... Enterprising then Jed." Replied Danny.

“From the beginning you lied to me. On everything. Your identity, your past, your work... I'm sure this story about this Carla is not real! You invented it or stole it from someone!” you said a little angry.

“Everything I told you about my past... is true. My parents were real assholes. Treating me like a dog. And as for my life with Carla... everything is true. Except one thing: When I learned that Dr. Pheels, the one who cared for her, had let her die, I went to see him one night. I entered through the window. He was in his office. I confronted him with his actions and he... he has denied everything.  *You won't be able to prove anything Johnson. No one will believe you, you're wasting your time, Johnson. You'd better leave and find yourself another jug to fill your nights. And if she's sick... think of me. You can touch a small part. * At that time... I took out a knife that I had taken from home... and I slaughtered him like never before. My first murder, the one that made me who I am today. This is where Jed Olsen was born as well.”  

“And I would still be there. You won't get rid of me as easily. I've told you before: I'm a part of you now.” said Jed in Danny’s mind.  

“That night. You could have killed me. You could have made me yet another victim of your massacres. And yet you left me alive, you played with me, you... persuaded me to kill Hoggins. At least to let you kill him. Why? Why didn't you kill me that night?” you ask calmly.  

It's true. He could have killed you that night. It would have made you just another victim and move on after hiding your corpse somewhere. He could have done it so many times... But he didn't. On the contrary, he lets you live, he spends time with you, shares his life and his past as you did with him. By curiosity? that's what he's always said to himself so far... but in the end isn't it for another reason? Isn't it more because he has found, or at least he thinks he has found something he thought was lost forever? And that he wanted to protect at all costs?

“Lying to her won't do much good here Danny. We both know that. Be honest with her. Like she was with you. And be honest with yourself. Believe me.” said Jed in Danny’s mind, leaning in front of him.  

“I could have. At first, I confess that I did it out of curiosity, to see how far you could amuse me and I would have killed you as soon as you bore me. But... you were... so innocent. But just as fierce. Like Carla. She was like you, dreams full of heads, with punchlines when it was necessary. And a heart of gold, always ready to help people and do good around her. And the more time I spent with you, the more I felt like I was reliving my life before.” responds Danny sincerely to you.  

“Good choice. It's a bit late, but better late than never.” replied Jed smiling.

“Now, that's the question everyone is asking. You know everything. What are you going to do?” Asks Danny to you.  

Danny looked you straight in the eye, his smile having sag to make way for a more serious face. He had his knife in hand, ready to use it if you ever try to play the heroes or warn the police. He would like to not do that, but his secret has to come first. Even if it means killing you. He doesn't want to, but he won't have a choice. He no longer has a choice, and neither do you. You could have stopped before, avoided this relationship. It would have been easier for him. But here... it will be the first time for him that he will have to kill someone reluctantly. There is no turning back now. For both of you. This is where everything will play out.

Deep in his mind... Danny knows how it's going to end. There is no chance that you will accept all this. Even if you have shown flaws, he knows that you will denounce him, or try to stop him. If that really happens, so be it. But he can't help but hope. What a stupid spirit of humanity. And yet, what was not his surprise, when he saw you approaching him hugging him. For a few minutes, he waited for you to take out a knife or a weapon of some kind to attack him. But nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just... a normal hug. As if none of this had happened. Nothing had been said.

“Well... I... I didn't expect that. Unless this is a ruse on your part.” said Danny suspicious.

“What good would it be now that I try anything against you? You said it: if you fall, I will fall too. And... you may be an assassin... you've always been there when I needed... you listened to me, you protected me. You could have killed me a long time ago... and you didn't. And all those moments we spent together... I could never forget them. Never.” You respond without letting him go.  

“Me neither.”

“I guess you've made it. You have succeeded in making me your accomplice. That's what you wanted. You wanted me to enter your world.”

“It won't be easy... but I would teach you to get ready for this new life. Lie... Keep one's mouth shut... Trick... As long as you are with me, nothing will happen to you.”

Danny gently took your face with his gloved hand before placing a quick kiss on your lips. But before he can back off, you kiss him passionately, hugging him a little more. He is not a doctor, or even a psychologist, but he could easily conclude that he caused you to have Stockholm syndrome. Or at least something close to it. However, he will have to be careful in the early days. He doesn't know if all this is real... or if you cheat. It's in Danny's mentality, he was betrayed too often in his youth, he will not let himself be fooled so easily.

“We're going to have to put ... two three little things to the point. First, outside of these walls, and when someone comes here, I'm Jed. no one should know my true identity. Not even Mattew and Melina.” starts Danny.  

“It's horrible... to have to lie to them. They're friends, I'm sure they would understand.” you respond.  

“They will especially warn the cops. At least after researching me. Journalistic curiosity, honey, can wreak a lot of havoc. Especially at the level of the closest people. Second, if the police come to ask you about Hoggins, you say you don't know anything. You tell them that the last time you saw him was when he threatened you in your café. Your employees will be able to confirm this.”

“Because I have to use them as an excuse now?” you replied.  

“Everyone around you can serve as an alibi. I've done it often... very often during all these years.” responds Danny shrugging his shoulders.

“Anything else to know?”

“Even if you know about my office, I'd appreciate not seeing you inside. Everyone has their own business. Was I clear enough?”

“Yeah.”  

“Good. So, how was your day?” Danny asks as if nothing had happened.

“As usual... I had two calls. For the succession, it is settled. And my aunt can't wait to meet you one of these days. But other than that, nothing very extraordinary. I'm exhausted.” you respond sighing.  

“I know exactly what you need to... relax.”

Danny slowly lowered his hands until he reached your ass, putting a small slap. You jump slightly before looking at him, biting your lips slightly. A smirk comes to his face, provoking you just with the look. His piercing blue eyes, the secret of his charm. And it is in a fiery kiss that you both direct in the room, undressing each other before finding yourself on the bed, completely naked. The kiss continued, more sensual, and Danny finally entered you, making you moan with pleasure. He waited for you to relax before he began to move, and every move caused the two of you an insatiable pleasure.

No need to hide, no need to live under Jed's identity, no need to be Ghostface to satisfy his fantasies. Now that you know everything, now that you know who he is, he can finally be himself. He will continue to "play" Jed outside his walls because it is not necessary to arouse the suspicions of either office colleagues or the police. And even less of Wilhelm. This guy is a real leech.  

Now with you he can finally be himself. You are the sweet little star of the devil. And no one will be able to approach you. In every sense of the word... the beast has been released. And nothing can stop it.

Not even himself.

***

(And it's done! This chapter was quite quick to write because since it is the continuation of the previous chapter, the ideas came to me quite quickly. Well, it's true that almost the entire chapter is mostly dialogue between Danny and the reader, but really, I didn't see how I could write it other than that. I don't forget the fic RE8 and the little teasing I talked about! By the way, if at the moment you do not know what to play, whether on Switch or PC, I recommend Road 96, a real surprise that I love! I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all!  See ya!)

[spidersbane]

Hello! Can I get MCU, The Hobbit, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. ship? 💚

Appearance: She/her. 179,5cm tall, rectangle body shape. Fair skin complexion with quite a few birthmarks. Dyed brown with honey-red highlights, shoulder-length, straight hair with bangs. The left eye is a mix of two colors – a smaller portion of (darker) greyish-blue and a larger portion of hazel; while the right eye is just a (lighter) greyish-blue. Heptagon face shape with two dimples on the left cheek and one on the right cheek (only visible while smiling). A gap between the upper front teeth.

Personality (good and bad traits): Ever since I was a kid, I was always quite mature for my age – I identify myself as an old soul. I come off as polite and well-mannered to strangers, yet I tend to keep it to myself by being reserved. But, that’s because I have social anxiety and I’m nervous and shy when meeting/talking to people. The only people I’m comfortable with being with my inner circle – closest friends and family. I am usually more “open” with my friends than with my family. With my friends I can be my “truest-self” – I smile more, I laugh more, I feel more accepted and understood. I am the mom and the fashionista of the group. Don’t get me wrong, I am fiercely protective of my family, especially of my mother and younger sister. But, lately, I’ve been feeling like the “black sheep” of the family, Cinderella who’s been taken advantage of. I express my affection for the people I care about in little, but practical, ways. I can be a little stiff when it comes to open, gushy displays of affection. Others turn to me for help and advice. I’m kind-hearted and generous, always ready to help a person in need. Always have been motherly towards children. Very awkward at keeping small talk (usually with people that I’m not that close with). Absolutely, hate speaking in front of a public, and if I do, because of my nervousness, I tend to mess up my words and/or I practice whatever I’m about to say in my head at first. I appreciate the simplicity and am often most comfortable when I’m not getting too much attention from the world. I am sensitive – both to criticism and to others’ feelings (I sponge up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around me). Have a hard time saying no or expressing my true thoughts, feelings. I get influenced by other people’s opinions/thoughts quite hard (I take everything to the heart), that is why I tend to keep a lot to myself (may come off as a little bit tense, secretive, mysterious). I avoid the harsh reality by daydreaming (almost every day) – imagining myself in situations far from my current circumstances. Sort of like a self-escape. I worry a lot and overthink almost everything. I am easily distracted and my attention span can be quite short. I have an internal struggle between my needs and wants. I can lack focus and be indecisive as a result – when I decide on one route, I am pulled in another direction at the same time (“But what if…”, “on the other hand...”). That is why I’m having a bit of a struggle with deciding what I want to do in the future (career-wise). I am easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. There is a self-destructive side to me (self-critical, lack of self-confidence) that I’m working on by confronting my fears (coming out of my shell). Don’t like taking pictures, or other people taking pictures of me. I feel most content when I’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. I have a routine, that I follow by mostly every day, and if something small changes in that routine, I start to have a small internal anxiety attack. Also, I like to do things my own way, like, when it comes to cleaning the house or organizing stuff, etc. I get triggered even if people don’t do the laundry the way I do. I guess you could describe me as a perfectionist, clean/control freak. In triggering situations I can be impulsive, spontaneous, quick to act. Quick flare-ups of anger/annoyance when being provoked on my patience. Even when I’m feeling low, I manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever I do have. Although I tend to bottle things up, I am an emotional person and my emotions are genuine – I love and care deeply and passionately and wish no ill will upon anyone, yet it hards for me to imagine someone falling in love with me or just liking me.

Hobbies, likes: My hobbies are cleaning, writing (re-writing song lyrics, making small notes, writing stories), listening to any type of music, catching up on my favorite films and TV shows, hanging out with friends, going to the cinema, or the club, being out in nature, reading, traveling. I like history, cooking, fashion magazines (or fashion in general), road trips, spirituality, mythology, books, orange juice, previous decades, cottage-core, dark academia.

Overall: Hufflepuff. INFP-T. Bi-sexual. Pisces-Aries cusp sign. “Looks like could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.” A feminist, support LGBTQ+ community. That’s it, thank you!

hey @pataim ! thanks so much for sending in your request, and thank you so much for your honesty about yourself. like it takes a lot to air yourself out like that, and I admire your strength for it. but also fINALLY a 'Man from U.N.C.L.E' ship! I love that movie and attempt Illya's accent all the time, so this will be fun :)

For the MCU/Marvel - I ship you with Steve Rogers/Captain America ! 

no one can tell me that Steve doesn’t have a set routine honestly, so let me just get that out there 

he seems intimidating at first, esp as a public figure and Avenger, but Steve is nothing but passionate about what he does. so it may clash w your lack of direction, but I could honestly see him envying that a lil bit, like it’s not that you don’t have direction, it’s the fact that you still have a choice in the matter. 

your love of history put you in a museum, here you bumped into Steve in a horrible disguise. he struck up the conversation first, and once you got past the whole “holy crap that’s Captain America”, you could actually engage with him in the material and boi was he smitten 

he would love to join you when your rewatched your fave things, bc not only is he catching up on more media he missed out on, he’s also getting to know your interests in a way that’s comfortable with you. it avoids all the small talk, but leaves room for discussion after the film/show ! 

since you tend to sponge up a lot of what other people believe, it’s totally Steve who actually tries to question what you think and what you feel about things. he’s someone who encourages you to have your own opinions and to stay true to those thoughts. so while with him, you can rely on him to learn about yourself, you also gain skills for independence

overall, Steve is super patient, and despite his chaotic job as Cap, he takes comfort in his routine, and would find comfort incorporating a partner’s routine into his life. and as you grow in a relationship with him, he’s patient about teaching you how to be your own person, and helping you learn more about yourself. and while it’s uncomfortable, you grow stronger throughout being with him :) 

For The Hobbit - I ship you with Bilbo Baggins !

Bilbo is the definition of introvert, and you're right there with him

not that introversion is ever a bad thing, bc it isn't. but Bilbo is quite content to sit in his little hobbit hole and vibe. like Gandalf had to come find him, ya know. dude disappeared from his own bday.

but anyways. it's not that Bilbo lacks purpose, it's just that he's more content with a quieter life. and it seems like his quiet life would balance you out well! like the Shire is so so chill, and there doesn't really seem to be a lot of pressure on the hobbits to pick a profession. like they just genuinely do what needs to get done.

similarly, Bilbo is the type who seems a little bothered by mushy displays of affection. exhibit a: disappearing from his own bday. like he's much more the type to refill your tea when y'all are reading by the fireplace, which he would totally do w you

it will probs take you a little while to warm up to each, given just how introverted you both are. but when he explains that he has set ways of doing things, then if they're compatible w your ways of doing things, then it doesn't take you long to open up to him

like it'll be a little jarring, but he takes comfort in his routines too. and it'll be an event trying to incorporate both of your ways of life together, but he's willing to do it

overall, yours is a very quaint partnership, built on deep respect for one another. neither of you are going to push the other to do things you aren't into. and y'all just live your best lives together tbh :)

For The Man From U.N.C.L.E - I ship you with Illya Kuryakin !

I love my big Russian spy so much, so this is fun for me

so Illya is the epitome of reserved and generally quiet, so it might take a while to really break down his walls and talk to him. and he's not quite sure what to do with you once you join the team

but, he's playing his game of chess alone, and when you sit down and ask to play with him, he opens up a little more after that

if you're one who get sent out on mission with the team, get ready, bc sometimes those missions require a lot of improvising. but you'd probably be at whatever 'base' was, helping run operations from a more secure place. but Illya and Napoleon improvise a lot, leading to a lot of headaches for you and Waverly

Illya has small bursts of anger, but similar to Gaby, most times, you can intervene and he doesn't get violent. or when he does, he tries to make sure it isn't in front of you. but bc you care so deeply for him, you're there for him in the aftermath. and that's how you show your love for him.

by patching him up if he gets cut, by talking him down when he's angry. and just generally trying to take care of him. and he totally does the same for you, especially if you get sent out into the field

and much to Illya's dismay, Solo doesn't refrain form making jokes about you. but if you can take them in stride, then Solo welcomes you into the team just as well :)

[badnamjams]

Omnipotent Deity: The Legend Of The Tiger

Tiger!yoongi x Villager!reader    mature 18+

Summary: The village you live in is small and poor. When your family starts getting sick from malnourishment, you’d do anything to help your family from facing death. Hearing about the legends of the almighty tiger who has immense power that can grant wishes, you think it’s your only way. That is, if he deems your worthy. 

Word count: 6.9k words

Warnings: myths, smut, yoongi is a god, and a tiger

--

“I’m afraid that your mother does not have much time to live, young Y/N.”

“A-are you sure?” you look up at the shaman that stands before your sickly mother. 

“Her body can’t adjust to the lifestyle that has been brought upon us,” the shaman sighs, “the never-ending drought has been with us for two years now.” 

“Is there anything I can do? Any villages close by that can help?” you ask desperately.  

“Villages nearby have been facing the same issues as us, there’s nothing I can do, young Y/N,” the shaman bends down to touch mother’s forehead. 

Two years have gone by since the start of the drought. Two years since the crops and livestock have gone down significantly. Crops are hard to harvest, and the livestock have been getting eaten by the tigers that live in the mountains. It felt like there was no way out. 

Life without mother was something unimaginable to you. Not only did she teach you everything you knew, but she brought warmth with her wherever she went. She was generous to the village. Being married to a head elder, she was a mother to the village. People came to her when times were rough, and mother would help them. 

“Thank you for coming by,” you walk the village shaman to the entrance of your wooded home. The blazing sun hits the both of you. 

She turns around to face you, “Young Y/N, there’s something I must tell you-”

“Y/N! There you are!” Your father, one of the head elders of the village, comes your way. 

“I’ve been looking for you, Y/N,” you father approaches you and bows his head to the shaman, “good afternoon, Ms. Chiyo, how is my wife’s condition?”

“Not good, my son,” she says, “the illness is taking her little by little.” 

The shaman grabs a hold of father’s hands, patting them, “with the little resources we have, there’s not much we can do, and the rituals that I have done was not effective.” 

“We need to pray to the spirits that she goes back to good health.” 

“Thank you for checking on her, Ms. Chiyo, if we need anything else, then we’ll reach out to you.” Father bows to her once again.

“Oh, and Y/N, I want you to come join the head elders meeting with me,” he states, “I think we need more insight from others than just the head elders.” Father gives you a pat on your back. 

“I’m not so sure, father,” you look down, “mother is very ill right now, and I’d like to stay with her for now.”

You were scared, to be quite frank. 

“Young Y/N go with your father to the meeting,” the shaman puts her hand on your shoulder. “One day, when both your parents are old, you have to take your place as one of the head elders.” 

The village shaman starts heading down the dirt road, “we shall talk again another time.” 

The first thing you do before leaving with your father, is pray.

--

The purpose of the meeting was to address the main problem: livestock being snatched and eaten. Being in front of the other elders was nothing you weren’t used to, but the fact that this is your first ever meeting, the tension was like none other. 

“Mr.Y/L/N, I just want to point out that nothing we have done so far is improving. My crops are still not growing, and my chickens are disappearing one by one,” An elder starts speaking. 

“I understand, Mrs. Yang, but even the crops that we have gathered from our neighboring village aren’t growing,” your father tries to mediate. It’s not going well, since the entire village is facing the same problems. 

“Them damn tigers left the cow carcass outside our farmland!” Another elder shouts. 

“We should send some people to kill those damn evil-incarnates! I only have one pig left!”

And like that, shouts are coming from every direction. 

“You’re not sending my family back out there again! I lost my eldest grandson thanks to the impulsive decision to attack the tigers!” 

“Yeah! Who will protect us when we send out fighters?!” 

What do you say? Their words are jumbling up in your head that you can’t formulate a straight answer to any of these problems. This was out of your league. No way are you going to measure up to your dad as a head elder. 

“I want everyone to calm down!” Fathers low voice booms through the ground, “we are weak not only in numbers, but in strength as well.” he starts.

“Tigers do not attack us unless provoked or if we trespass their territory,” he informs “they may be solitary animals, but not when they have their cubs, and god knows that a mother will always protect their cubs.” 

A mother will always protect their cubs. You personally understood what that meant. Mother treated the village like her own cub. We were one big family. We must protect one another to survive. And that’s what we have been doing for centuries. The fire in your heart ignites. The need to protect your family sits inside you. One day, it will be up to you to protect everyone in this village. 

But is there any solution to our problem? We have tried everything we could come up with. 

“Y’all might as well pray to the spirits that the Tiger God grants our wishes!” A random voice says from behind the group. Everyone turns to look at the owner of the voice. The voice belonged to a man by the name of crazy uncle Chan. The one that spews nonsense every day, every hour, every minute. The one that was attacked by a tiger and lived. He bears a deep scar on his face as a trophy. He’s got a total of three teeth, smokes opium every 5 minutes, and always has jokes up his sleeve. The elders may not take him seriously, but the young ones love to be around him.

Crazy Chan cackles and slaps his knee, “the legend of the Tiger God! He’s our only hope!” 

“Chan, stop,” Father intervenes, “that’s just a childhood story.” 

“Oh, if only you knew.”

The Tiger God? You knew nothing about the Tiger God. Nor have been told stories as a child. He grants wishes? Multiple questions pop up in your head. Curious to know about the myth that crazy Chan speaks about. The shaman did say that we should pray to the spirits. Could this Tiger God be real? 

The sun has reached the horizon when the meeting ends. You never spoke once, but you listened to each problem that the village was facing. Maybe if you think more on it, you’ll come up with a solution. But as of right now, you wanted to find crazy Chan. 

As everyone leaves back to their homes, you find crazy Chan sitting on a rock smoking out of his pipe, “Hey Mr. Chan! Can I ask you something?” You approach the crazy man. 

“Ah, Y/N! How are ya this fine evening? Care for a smoke?” He offers his pipe. 

“Uh, no, thank you, I don’t smoke,” you push his pipe away, “I was wondering if you could tell me about the Tiger God?” you ask hopefully. You take a seat on the dry grass next to him. 

“The legend of Yoongi! The Tiger God!” Crazy Chan flails around. 

“Yes, the Tiger God,” you hesitantly start, “what is the myth?”

“Oh, young one, it is no myth,” He shakes his head, “no, no, no.” 

“The legend is real,” he grabs both of your shoulders and shakes you. 

Crazy Chan lets go of you and starts the story with a hushed tone, “the legend goes that if you bring him three specific items, he’ll do an evaluation, and if he deems you worthy, he shall grant you one wish.” Chan’s eyes bulge out of his head as he comes close to your face. 

“In a hundred years, no one has had the privilege of ever seeing him,” he turns and stares off into the plain field, “except for one man.” He extends out his arm and pokes your forehead with his pointer finger. 

That night, you barely slept. Curious about the story and the legend of the Tiger God. You look over to your parents, with the moon shining down on the both of them. Why haven’t they told you about the story? Maybe you don’t remember it as a child. Father did say it was a children’s story. 

The story that crazy Chan told you was stuck in your head. A young man, by the name of Jungkook, was a poor son living in poverty and famine. People had gone to see the Tiger God often, but all of them were not worthy enough to get their wishes granted. Everyone was turned down, except for one man. Legend says that the tiger was referred as a God, because of the immense power he possessed. Jungkook was the only one who the Tiger God deemed worthy; therefore he got his wish granted. 

The idea that pops up into your head is a crazy one, but at this point, you're desperate for anything.

--

You find crazy Chan once again, smoking his pipe on the rock he always sits on, with children littering the area around him. The sun is beaming down, hotter than normal today. You go to join the kids on the grass, in hopes of getting more information out of crazy Chan. 

“Mr. Chan! Could you tell me more about the Tiger God?” You ask. 

“Ah! Young Y/N, why the sudden interest?” He inquires. 

“Mr. Chan! Tell us about the Tiger God!” The children speak out. 

“You guys too? Oh man, I tell you guys the story almost every day!” He shrieks. 

“Tells us! Tell us! Tell us!” The kids chant. 

“Oh, alright,” he succumbs to their chants, “what would you like to know?”

“How powerful is he?!”

“Is he really big?”

“Is he a prince?”

“Is he a tiger or a human?”

“Can he fly?!”

The children gobble crazy Chan with questions. You can’t help but admire the children and their youthful thinking. The curiosity in their eyes, all the wonder and enthusiasm. 

“Really powerful, maybe, no, both, and maybe.” Crazy Chan answers all the questions in one go. You smile in amusement at how blunt his answers were. 

“Is there a way to meet the Tiger God?” You finally ask after everyone had their turn. 

“My, my, my!” He puts his hand on his hips, while having the pipe rest in his mouth, “young Y/N, are you interested in finding him and make a wish? Cause if you are...then you might be crazier than me! Hah!” He slaps his knees and cackles, which makes all the other kids laugh and fall to the ground. 

That was the only thing you got out of him the entire day. Every question you threw at him, he would turn it around and make it into a joke to make the kids laugh.

Maybe your suspicions of the Tiger God was wrong. The possibility of it being real was something you were clinging on to in hopes that it would save mother. The rest of the day, you cursed at yourself repeatedly. What made you believe in a children’s fairytale? Granting wishes? Immense power? Of course, no such thing would exist. The fire inside you was dimming. 

--

The next morning, everyone heard the cries. One of the elder’s granddaughter had died. At only six years old, she had died from the same illness mother was facing. The whole village gathered around her burial. The aura was filled with sorrow. The wind was calm, and the air was deathly silent. But you heard the cries, heard the sniffles. Death was not unknown, but the occurrence was minimum. The village prayed, while the shaman did her ritual. 

Majority of the villagers left the burial. Even the little girl’s family. Father had brought mother for the funeral but were the first ones to leave when it ended. You understood. Mother was better off resting. The only one who stayed behind was you, and crazy Mr. Chan. The sight of him was unusual. Something never seen. He was void of emotions. Staring off into the grassy field. His pipe was in his hand, but since the beginning of the funeral, he has not taken a hit. 

You walked and stood next to him, keeping silent the whole time. You assume he would want silence. There was nothing you could say to him. Mr. Chan was the one person every kid in this village loved to be with. He filled their lives with joy. 

Like habit, he finally takes a hit out of his pipe, “young Y/N, listen to me carefully, cause I’ll only say this once.” He takes another hit.

“Or maybe twice, because I’ll forget I said it the first time, but anyways,” he says frantically. 

“You need to go to the mountains,” Mr. Chan starts off. “There’s only one cave in the mountains, and you must go there.” He looks at you with a serious face. 

“You need to bring one tiger tooth and a pair of chicken feet.” All the pieces are coming together. Your face contorts into confusion. 

“But... why-” 

“There’s no time, Y/N, you must see the Tiger God.”

“B-but it’s just a myth!”

“It’s real, and you need to stop these chains of events from ever happening again, Y/N,” Mr. Chan is fully facing you, “I believe you are the one who can change everything.” 

“I-I thought you need three things?” You’re as frantic as ever. 

“I only remember two, but it doesn’t matter, because you need to take this chance to meet him.” 

“What do I do?” You cry out to him. 

You don’t sleep that night. Too busy preparing for the mission that starts when the sunlight hits the sky. Chicken feet was the easiest to obtain. The orders that Mr. Chan gave you is running repeatedly in your head. But he didn’t tell you how to get a tiger tooth. 

Are you going to have to hunt for a tiger? The absurdity in everything is making the world spin around you. You grab onto the wall of your home for support. Beads of sweat drips down your face. You’re not entirely sure if it’s due to the weather, or if it’s because you’re freaking out. You look to your parents to see if they’re still asleep, not wanting to wake them up. 

That’s when you see it. The hit of the moonshine on the spot of your getaway. Of course. You were making this too hard for yourself. You tiptoe to the head of your parents, eyes glued on father’s tiger tooth necklace. You hear your heartbeat in your eardrums as you hover over father. As careful as possible, you snap the twine that holds the tooth and slowly lift the object. You back away as soon as you have it in your grasp, heart beating out of your chest. 

“You need to leave as soon as the sun rises,” flashback of Mr. Chan’s orders flow through your head, “the tigers hunt at night, so travelling during the day is the safest option, and they won’t attack humans unless provoked.” 

“But I interpreted the prophecy and believe that the path to the cave will be easy.” He states.

“But how do you know?” you ask. 

“All the stories of people going to the cave and back never come back harmed,” he recalls, “however, they never got to see the Tiger God.” 

“Also, what prophecy?” 

“There’s no time, young Y/N, you need to get a tiger tooth and chicken feet.” 

--

Thankfully, no one was awake at this time. You set out on the path that Mr. Chan directed you to follow, with hope and fear coursing through your veins. No one has gone this far into the mountains. The dirt path that lead up to the start of the mountain slope was straightforward. Almost as if this was a road leading you straight to a castle. And that castle belonged to the Tiger God. 

The walk felt foreign to you, for you had never gone this far from the village. Frequently, you would check each side of you in case of a lurking tiger. Fear drips with every step. The last thing you need was to be attacked by a tiger. 

Alas, the long journey awaits you. Your judgement of the size of the mountain did not fail you. You knew it would take you till nightfall to reach the cave. Watching the sunset had given you serenity. Like the calm before the storm. You understood that this task will not be an easy one and knew nothing of what’s to come. Once the sun fell behind the horizon, you had reached the entrance to the cave. 

The view of it gave you chills. The feeling of a lurking entity frightened you. Fear had taken over your body. You could always turn back. 

No. The fear does not compare to the pain you feel. The pain of having a sickly mother on the verge of death. The pain and suffering of the entire village that you grew up with. You must do this. You need to do this. For the sake of the village, and for the sake of your mother. If this damn Tiger God is your only hope, then you’ll take your chances. 

With the courage that had appeared inside your heart, you fire up a torch and enter the dark and murky cave. The feeling of a lurking entity never left. The feeling of fear never left. But there is no other choice. You walk with a shaky hand, holding the lit-up torch in front of you.

Roaming deeper into the cave, you find nothing but a long tunnel that stretches down into a dark abyss. Is there going to be something at the end of the tunnel like cave? You don’t see anything besides your torch, and the entrance that is now far from you. Your courage is now long gone from you, left at the entrance of the cave. 

Welp, there’s nothing here for you. You turn around to leave this dark and scary cave, but that’s when you hear it. A low growl echoing through the cave. You almost feel paralyzed as you slowly turn back around. Your bones are shaking and the only thing you hear besides the low growl is your increasing heartrate. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, and your mind has concluded that you are going to die. Right here. Right now.  

Two glowing bulbs appear far ahead of you. The feline eyes are the only things you see in the dark abyss. The growl is low, but loud in your eardrums. The eyes come closer, bit by bit. In a flash, the cave is being lit on the sides of the walls. Torches hung in a line through each side of the cave. And as the well-viewed tiger stalks towards you, as the first two paws take a step, each torch lights up one by one. 

Your torch has been long gone on the floor, blown out. Body becoming paralyzed at the sight of a tiger. The tiger is still stalking towards you, slowly but surely. Eyes glowing straight at you, teeth baring at full display. The tingling sensation of fear runs through your veins. From your fingertips to the soles of your feet. The intentions of the tiger are unknown. All logical thoughts left your body. The only thing you can do is accept your fate. 

The tiger has now approached you, and slowly strides around you. Body still paralyzed; you don’t even dare to look at your side. The tiger is now at the side of your peripheral vision. 

A soft touch jolts your awareness. It is then that you realize that the tiger is caressing your back with its long and oddly strong tail. Your body is stone frozen, as the areas are burning with every touch

“Look what the cat dragged in.” A deep voice says. So smooth..so alluring.

Lost for words at how the damn tiger can speak, it comes back around to your other side. But what shocks you is that it’s not a tiger that appears, but a full-grown man in all his glory, and his tail still touching you. With his jet-black hair and a long scar down his eye, you knew this was no ordinary man. He must be the Tiger God. 

The man appears in front of you, staring back at you with his feline like eyes. You look at anywhere, but him. Seeing as how attractive this fearsome man is, astonishes you. “To what do I owe the pleasure...” 

“Y-Y/N,” you stutter out. “A-and I came to make a wish.” You rush it out. 

“What makes you think you are worthy enough?” He spits out. The man walks back, walking to what you see now as stairs leading up to a throne. All made in stone. 

You ponder for a minute. What makes you worthy? You brought the items you were told to bring. Do they make you worthy? 

“I-I brought the things you wanted!” You cry out desperately. “Unfortunately, I only have two of the things...” You wince at your stupidity. He won’t be happy if you only brought two of the three items. 

“Oh, I assure you, kitten,” the man chuckles. “You brought me the three things that I want.” 

“Come closer, kitten.” He waves his fingers at me while smirking. “I don’t bite.” 

You pick up the courage to move your feet, not wanting to disobey the god-like man. Each step becomes faster and faster to make sure you don’t disappoint or anger him by being slow. The basket you brought with you had carried the things you needed. Lowering down to your knees, you set the basket down and take out each item. 

“I don’t know how I have the third item, sir.” You lightly bow to the man. 

“Seems like a little kitten was ill-informed on the necessities of seeing the legendary Yoongi, huh?” His smirk never leaves his face. “This should be fun.” 

“I-I don’t understand, sir.” 

The man, who goes by the name Yoongi, starts descending the stairs slowly. With each step, you become more nervous and more scared of what he’s going to do. When the man appears in front of you, he squats down, looming over you. You try to look at anything else but his nakedness. 

“You give me three things to represent different qualities that I deem worthy.” He takes the chicken feet that have been sitting on the bottom of the stairs. In one gulp, he swallows the feet. The action baffles you. 

“I love chicken feet.” He shrugs. “However, you were supposed catch a tiger by yourself, and give me a tooth.” The man picks up the tiger tooth you had stolen from father and examines it. Realization struck you. You’re not worthy, since you didn’t get the tooth on your own. 

“I’ll let it slide, kitten.” He smiles deviously at you. “It’s been a hundred years, and no one was as innocent as you” Yoongi chuckles. 

“I can smell it from a mile away.” He leans a little towards you and breaths in deeply. The act makes your heart flip. 

“W-what are you talking about?” You’re even more confused. 

“There’s always a price to pay, little kitten.” Yoongi starts. “You give me the things that I want to prove if you’re worthy of making a wish.” 

The Tiger God holds up the tiger tooth. “This represents bravery; however, you didn’t get this one on your own.” He shrugs. “The feet represent generosity.”

“And lastly...innocence.” Yoongi’s eyes shift into something unreadable. But the way he’s staring into you, makes your cheeks hot. 

“Innocence? Like what?” Gradually, you’re starting to understand. 

“Oh, kitten, I love how innocent and naïve you are!” He chuckles. Yoongi gets back up and heads to the stoned throne. You can’t help but look at the view of his curves and naked back side. Something inside you churns. The Tiger God’s presence alone makes you feel something so foreign to you.

As he sits down, he pats his lap. “Come sit.” He demands. Without a thought, you’re making your way up the stairs and plopping yourself on his lap as told. Almost as if something else has taken over your body. The feeling of him underneath you burn your thighs. The close proximity makes your heartbeat faster. You can’t tell what it is that you’re feeling. Never have you ever felt like this towards anyone. 

“What is it that you desire, my little kitten?” Yoongi rubs your thighs. His touch shoot tingles throughout your entire body. Burning heat starts growing in the pit of your stomach. 

“I want my village-” Yoongi hushes you with his finger on your lips. 

“I know what your wish is, but I want you to tell me,” he drags his finger down your lips, “what is it that you desire?” You look the man and watch his facial expressions. Yoongi’s eyes were piercing into your own. Your body is starting to feel different. The way your body reacts to his touch indicates something your unknown to. Chills run through your body. You feel your nipples perking, and it’s not because of the cold. 

“I-I don’t know what I desire, sir.” You stutter out. “But I don’t want you to stop touching me.” You’re embarrassed at your own confession. 

“So innocent.” Yoongi whispers. “Suck” He brings his finger back to your lips. You instantly wrap your lips around his digits and start doing what he commanded. The way he watches you with his tongue sticking out a bit, arouses you even more. 

“You want me to touch you, kitten?” He asks. You nod, slowly. “Say ‘please’ for me. ‘Please, Yoongi.’” He looks at you erotically. His finger slips out of your mouth, slick with saliva. 

“Please.” You breathe out. “Please, Yoongi. Touch me.” You beg. Your brain has gone foggy at this point.

He pulls your back against his chest and uses his knees to spread your legs. His knees keep your legs spread for him, as he trails his hands down. 

“Where do you want me to touch you, kitten?” He breathes in your ear. His hot breath combined with the way he’s talking shoots thrills to your core. Your eyes almost roll back, and he’s barely done anything. 

“Everywhere.” You tell him. He starts with your jaw. Outlining the side of your jaw slowly, he makes his way down to your neck. Softly dragging his fingers, making a trail of saliva wherever he went. When he reaches your perked nipples, he takes extra time to knead the swell of your breast while pinching your nipples. Yoongi is making you feel hazy with the way his hands are touching you. You moan with each pinch before his hands leave your breast to trail down your stomach. 

“Yoongi!” You moan as he touches you where you didn’t know you needed him. His hand goes down your pants and brushes a finger up and down your slick. 

“Mm, feel how wet you are, kitten.” He collects your juices and brings them around your bundle of nerves, circling it with his fingers. The fire you feel inside your stomach burns more and more as he plays with your clit. He strides his tongue up the side of your neck to behind your ear. Your head falls onto his shoulders, letting him make a mess out of you. Taking your earlobe between his teeth, he moans lowly. 

“You like that, kitty? Like how good my fingers are making you feel?” He inquires. Your brain can’t formulate any words, so all you do is give him a small nod. His fingers become faster. You whine at the newfound speed and arch your back into him. 

“No one’s ever touched you, huh? You want me to show you how good it can feel?” You nod vigorously, wanting more of his fingers. Your stomach is tightening as you feel the immense pleasure. It’s nothing you ever felt before. 

“You’re doing so good, kitten. You’re making my cock hard with you moving on top of me. You want my cock inside you, kitty?” The next thing that overwhelms you is Yoongi slowly putting a finger inside you. The unfamiliar feeling sends shock waves everywhere. From the nibbling on the ear, to his grunting in your ear, all on top of his finger pumping in you, sends you completely over the edge. Fireworks explode in your eyes as you come right on top of him, legs shaky and back arched into him. 

“Kitten, you’re so tight.” He chuckles. “I don’t know if I’ll fit.” He says to you as you calm down from your orgasm. 

“Will it hurt?” You finally speak. You try to catch your breath, as you feel a shift from underneath him. The hard, poking feeling is coming from his cock. 

“Relax, little one, only a little bit.” He laughs in your ear. “But you’ll grow to love it.” Everything happens in a flash. He’s got your ass up and faced down on the plateau of the stairs. Yoongi’s one step down, kneeling behind you. His cock is in his hands, pumping slowly. The way he eyes your dripping cunt makes you feel self-conscious, but his next move arouses you. “Look at this cunt dripping for me. I can’t wait to put my cock in your pretty pussy.” He collects your juices and wraps it around his red, swollen cock. You moan at the sight of him. 

“I want you to be loud for me, kitten.” He kneads your ass cheeks. 

You’re unaccustomed to the pain that comes with slipping his cock into you. Your walls are being stretched and it feels like he’s ripping you up. Yoongi moans as he fully bottoms you out. He’s balls deep in you and you feel him hitting every wall. Every nook and cranny that resides in you. 

“Fuck, kitten.” He groans. “You’re so tight for me.” He throws his head back and grabs onto your waist. Pleasure comes over you as he hits a certain spot. His thrusts are slow, allowing you to adjust to his size. Just like he said, you grew to love it. The pain you felt was replaced with pleasure. 

“Faster, Yoongi!” You grew impatient. You wanted him to go faster. You needed him to hit that one spot again. You’ve become addicted to the feeling. 

Yoongi snaps his cock into you harshly. “Did I say you can tell me what to do, little one?” The pain that came with it was what you wanted. Oh, did it feel so good. “I'm a God. You’re omnipotent deity. You don’t tell me what to do when I have you bowing before me as I pound my cock into you, little kitten.” 

Yoongi snaps his hips once again. He snaps three more times before he’s pounding into you profusely. His cock is hitting the spot where you wanted him to be and you couldn’t be more thrilled. You feel sharp nails digging into the curvature of your ass. The pain alights the fire within you. Your knees are digging into the ground so hard, that you’re sure they’re bleeding, but it adds to the pain and pleasure that you’re growing to love. You feel his balls slapping on your clit with every thrust. Everything is pushing you more and more to the edge. You want nothing more than to come again. You had no prior experience of such pleasure.  

“This is what you wanted?” He lowers his head to yours. “Wanted me to fuck you harder so you can come again? Huh, kitty?” He asks. 

“Yes, Yoongi, I want to come again, please!” 

“Beg for it, kitten, I wanna hear you.” He growls in your ear. 

“Yoongi, please!” You start begging. “I wanna come again! You feel s’good inside me!” Your words are slurring. The haziness from the pleasure has taken over you. 

“I wanna come for you, please, Yoongi.” 

He picks you up and sits you on top of his lap, cock never leaving your pussy. You’re now facing the entrance of the cave as he holds your waist up to pound into you. 

“You like the way I fuck you, kitten? You wanna come for me again like the good kitty you are?” He says into your ear. Yoongi has figured out that you liked him whispering into your ear. The dirty words he says to you combined with how he’s making you feel, makes you feel like you’re on cloud nine. 

He wraps a hand around your neck and holds tightly. “Answer me, kitty.” 

“Yes, oh god, yes.” Your head is thrown back. Eyes now rolling to the back of your head. “You feel so good, Yoongi! So big.” You’d do and say anything to come again. The fire inside you is burning and you know what’s coming. 

“I want you to come for me, kitten.” His other hand reaches down to rub on your clit. You moan loudly and grind your pussy on to his cock. You’re riding to reach your high and you feel it coming to you faster. The way his fingers feel on you is pushing you more and more to the edge. Yoongi’s sucking your earlobe once again, which adds to the fire burning inside. 

“I feel you tightening around me, kitty.” He pounds into you faster. “Why don’t you come for me?” His voice is sinister. His finger works faster, and he knows you’re about to come. You clenched around him so tight that he was unexpectedly about to come. 

The feeling of your orgasm is stronger than the last one. You see white lights in your eyes as your orgasm hits you like tidal waves. You’re shaking on top of him, as he’s still fucking you. 

“Fuck, kitten, you’re so sexy.” he grunts out. “I’m about to come from how tight you feel.” You let him fuck into you as you come back to your senses. Purposefully, you clench around him as tight as you can.

“Kitten you’re gonna make me come!” His hips stutter up and you feel his cock twitch inside you. His moans were like angels singing in your ear. As he comes down from his high, he lifts you up from him and watches the way his come drips out of you. His cock is still twitching from the orgasm he had. 

“Oh, kitten, you’re really worth the wait.” He breaths out. Sweat is dripping down his face, and you couldn’t think of anything more god-like than this. 

“Am I worthy of making a wish?” You look at him and ask. Yoongi’s eyes are closed, making you feel doubtful. Did you waste your time and innocence? 

“There’s one more thing I need from you...” He starts.

“Anything! I’ll do anything you want! Just please, save my village. I can’t watch them suffer anymore.” You plead with every fiber in you. 

“A life for a new life.” He looks at you with an emotionless. “Looks like your mother is quite sick. Almost on the verge of death.” You freeze at his statement. How does he know? 

“I’ll make you one last deal. You give me your mother’s life, and I’ll restore everything that has been lost in your village.” What? This can’t be happening.

“A life for a new life.” 

You’re paralyzed. To be in shock is an understatement. How could he do this to you? After everything you just did with him. 

Tears are spilling out of your eyes and ringing is all you hear. The agony that fills you is overpouring. 

You turn your full body to him. “No...” You shake your head profusely. “No! Please not my mother!”

“That is my deal. Take it or leave it.” The look he has on his face is ominous. 

“Yoongi, please!” You beg. Pride, embarrassment, everything is gone. “Not my mother, I beg you!” You bow to him, showing him your hands that are praying. Praying for another way. Tears are running down like waterfalls. Snot threatens its way out of your nose. 

“Please, Yoongi..” You cry out. “Take me instead! I don’t care! Just not my mother!” You bow to him once again. This is all you can do. All that you can give him. “Take me..take me..” 

“Is that your offering?” His voice booms through the cave. 

“Yes, please, take me instead. You said a life for a new life!” 

“Look at me.” You look up at him, quickly wiping your tears and snot. He’s examining your face, seeing if there’s any hint of a lie. He can’t fail this time. 

What’s unexpected was for him to pull your face into his. He kisses you with passion and the last thing you see before blacking out is the way his eyebrows were scrunched. 

--

You wake up due to the sun shining down on you. You blink a couple of times to adjust. Your body feels stiff and everything seems hazy. When your vision becomes clear, you see the shaman looming over you. You’re back in your own home? 

“Good morning, young Y/N.” She gives you a cup of water. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” She sits back down next to you. 

“What happened?” Your voice is groggy. 

“Many things have happened since we found you.” She says. “What exactly do you remember?”

You remembered everything from start to finish. The only question is...how are you here?

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me when I say that I went to see Yo-I mean the Tiger God.”

“I’m a shaman, young Y/N. Of course, I believe you.” She hands you a plate full of food. “It was your destiny to save this village, after all.” You look at her bewildered. 

“My destiny?” You ask. “What do you mean?”

“There’s this old prophecy that involved the Tiger God. He was banished from the Animal Kingdom and forced to live among us. The only way for him to get back home was to have someone make a wish that was selfless. The Animal Kingdom wanted to teach him a lesson for being so selfish.” 

Everything the shaman was saying felt like a children’s story. It was so unbelievable that you weren’t entirely sure if you dreamt about the Tiger God or not. 

“The moment you were born, I knew you were special, young Y/N.” She watches you eat the food unknowingly. “And when I did the ritual for you mother, I was visited by someone from the Animal Kingdom, telling me that I shouldn’t have to worry, for you would be our savior.” 

You put the plate down and give her a confusing look. Everything was just so absurd to you. 

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Your mother is outside the house waving at you. The sun was shining down on her, making her look alive and beautiful. 

“Mother!” You cry. With no hesitation, you get up and run towards your mother and hug her.

“Why aren’t you resting?! You shouldn’t be out like this!” You say to her.

“Y/N, honey, I feel fine! More than fine, actually! I’ve never felt more alive!” Your mother hugs you back. 

“B-but how?” You look at her. She no longer looks sick. Her skin no longer pale, her eyes bright and beautiful. 

“I don’t know! But when I got up to see if I could walk by myself, I find the fields filled with so many crops! And animals were gathered in herds!” She smiles. “I was admiring everything when I see your body lying in the field full of flowers! I was so worried something had happened to you, but Ms. Chiyo said you were fine.” 

You look around you and what do you know, fields of crops had filled the once lifeless land. Not only that, but your mother was okay. And you were still here. You look up at the mountains in wonder. No answers could explain why he let you go. Perhaps it’s better off for the answers to be unknown. You’re here now with your mother. The village is prospering into something miraculously new. No words could explain how thankful you were to the Tiger God. 

--

“So innocent.” He whispers to himself, as he sets you down on the flowers that had once been all grass. Yoongi leans down to plant one last kiss. It felt like time had stopped so that this moment could last longer. Your lips were soft and warm, filling his head with bliss.  He pulls back and looks at you one more time. He smiles at you and turns to leave down the dirt road. Your final moment with the Tiger God, Yoongi, has ended. 

Truth is that the deal he made with you was a lie. He had never intended on taking you or your mother. Yoongi had to make sure that you were completely selfless. When you said you’d give up your life instead of your mother’s, it shocked him. He looked into your eyes and saw innocence. He saw devotion like none other. You were his key to going back home. He needed you as much as you needed him. He was thankful. 

Because of you, he finally gets to go home. 

   --

My first time ever writing on here! And first time writing smut.. 

Give it a like if you enjoyed! :) 

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Take My Hand ~ Lucifer x Reader

For so many, even those who know him, Lucifer is an enigmatic riddle that will never be solved. A question with no answer. A blank, white puzzle.  He keeps his stoic facade at all times, overworks himself on anything Diavolo gives him, and if he runs out of work, he finds more, from somewhere that nobody, even the young Prince, has no idea.

He’s always so strict and proper, dresses royal and there is seemingly no imperfection to him. Hell, even Asmo, the most narcissistic brother, is not-so-secretly jealous of his beauty and dominant and mysterious aura that engulfs him, that makes him even more enticing than one could think.

So what is the mysterious of this overly strict Fallen, the one that God loved the most, the one that led the Rebellion of the Celestial War aeons ago, actually hiding? What emotions is he so desperately trying to hide behind those sharp, ruby eyes of him that read into you like infrared?

What kind of fragility is trying to hide being that frozen block that became his heart that aches and burns harder than the Sun itself?

Perhaps that is something that only someone with a fresh perspective shall witness, someone who walks around like a ghost, unnoticeable, yet her eyes are wide and attentive, that can peer right into the depths of anyone’s soul.

They are complete opposites, and yet, they are more alike than anyone could even begin to realise - That is, if they are so adamant to be ignorant, as they’ve always been.

Apart from Solomon, not one, but two other humans were brought into Devildom, and that is because fate made it so that Lucifer chose a girl that had a sister.

A twin sister.

So of course, you cannot separate twins, so Diavolo was okay with bringing both of them, thinking it would be reminiscent of the 6th and 7th brothers, especially for their personalities are like light and day, like the Sun and the Moon, both of them beautiful, yet completely different.

And that was quickly made obvious once they arrived, for the brothers quickly swamped all over the younger sister, since she was a lovable, social butterfly, an extroverted free soul who loves to fool around and bend the rules to breaking point.

The older sister, however, was an introvert of few words, yet all of them were meaningful. She was incredibly diligent and hard-working, studying since the first day in RAD, she was much too busy to even bother going out of her way to break the rules, and had to do everything in her power to get her sister out of trouble, including doing her homework, to avoid detention.

The eldest brother, the most attentive, was quick to realise that all the brothers were attracted to the sunshine like moths to the fire that they didn’t even bother approaching the zircon wrapped in a velvet handkerchief.

He was, however, completely drawn to her...Or maybe it was the mystery surrounding her that he was interested in? He read once, in a human book, that the most intriguing is the journey, not the destination, yet he couldn’t help but wonder if it was similar to going to one’s soul.

Y/N’s soul was pure, it was bright, it was beautiful and tempting, which went in complete anti-thesis with the facade she pulled for everyone - And just like twins are, like Yin and Yang, she was truly the complete opposite of her bright sister that held a dark soul.

But days began to rapidly pass by, and with each day, countless of problematic events happened, that made Lucifer, and not only him, pissed off beyond belief, at the younger sister, and the older one was forced to bare the consequences and solve the problem..

These continuous occurrences started eroding her soul, bit by bit, darkening it, overshadowing her light, and it was beginning to concern the raven haired man, for, in the end, it was still his job to make sure the humans are okay and comfortable in Diavolo’s Kingdom.

Exams were coming along, and Lucifer could see Y/N was beginning to become much paler and less talkative. He didn’t see her as often outside of the classroom, and even to meals that they would always share together...And he began to worry.

He knows very well that humans are very frail, weak and sensitive creatures, that constantly needed to be taken care of, and he knew very well that she wouldn’t have much until she’d collapse.

“Does anyone have a pen, please? All of mine have been completely used up, and I need to urgently finish an assignment.” 

Speak of the devil, Lucifer thought, as his D.D.D.’s notification sound popped on his study desk, where he, himself, was also working on his own assignments, and he chuckled at the coincidence, and pondered over if he should tease her a bit, to provoke her, or not.

Something that Lucifer always loved was to push someone’s boundaries...Not some pushover like Mammon, clearly, but strong, dominating people, much like Satan, much like himself. He wanted to see how far can he push someone until they get angry, until they lose their composure, until they show their true face, until their facade crumbles, and they are no longer the self they show to everyone.

It’s satisfying seeing others step on their pride...

Since he would never do that, clearly. He isn’t the Avatar of Pride for nothing.

Asmo: Nope! I only have my personalised, engraved pen, and I can’t give it to everyone! Beel: Sorry, I accidentally ate all my pens while trying to write my homework. Belphie is sleeping. Levi: I don’t have pens, I write everything on my laptop. Satan: I always misplace mine. I only have the one I keep in my notebook. Mammon: Lol, you’re doing homework? Hah, what a dork! Sorry, I ain’t using Goldie to buy pens! Why not ask your sister? Anyka: You bought 10 pens barely 2 weeks ago, how the hell did you even finish them? Y/N: I have a lot to do. Do you have any spare pens? Anyka: Lol nope x Ask Lucifer or idk Barbatos??

The opportunity is shining, so...Should he start provoking her? Or would that break her even more? This should certainly be interesting... And if anything happens, he always knows when to put a stop to this charade. “I have a spare fountain pen, if it would do.” he sent her a DM, waiting for an answer. “Perfect. Are you in your study, or your bedroom?” she sent an immediate answer, which made him smirk. “Study. If you beg me nicely, I can also give you the ink for it.” he was playing with fire, and damn, was it exhilarating. “You...Want me to...Beg? For a pen and ink? To do my assignments? I don’t think Diavolo would be pleased to hear that.” she typed after an obvious few moments of hesitation. “Sometimes compromises must be made in order to achieve your goal. You are aware, I am sure, that if you do not finish your homework for tomorrow, you will receive detention.” this was getting very interesting, and he couldn’t wait to see what her next step would be. “Fine. I will ask Barbatos then. Thanks for the offer. Have a pleasant night.” she cut him off with clear acid in her words, which made Lucifer chuckle in satisfaction.

She was though, and entertaining. What an adorable little lamb.

And it was true, she asked Barbatos, who told her that he couldn’t go over to the House of Lamentation, for he has to take care of Diavolo, and he refused to allow her to leave the dorms without someone by her side to make sure no stray demon attacks her.

That was a true bummer.

So...She had to step on her pride to get a stupid pen to finish her assignments.  It wasn’t even homework, but she still had hours of work she had to do. It was barely midnight, she couldn’t even attempt to go sleep now.

Going to sleep means obvious overthinking, which means lack of sleep, so better be productive and work, then destroy yourself more than you already are, doing nothing, while staring and cursing the ceiling.

Y/N sighed, breaking the pen in two out of anger, and wobbly got out of her study chair, making a bee line to Lucifer’s study and knocking on the door, waiting to hear the approval word to enter the room. She barely opened the door, walking in front of the seated form of Lucifer, who held his spare fountain pen almost mockingly in front of her.

He was watching her like a hawk, every movement analysed as if under a microscope, almost as if he was carefully searching for any flaw or mistake she would make. However, he could see she wasn’t well. She was sleep deprived, her complexion was much paler than normal, she had dark bags under her eyes...And her posture was slouched, almost sloppy. Lucifer knew she has always been a diligent person, so the homework couldn’t possibly be long overdue. She would have done it in the day it was given. So...What was the urgency? Could it be that...She was...Just like him?

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to beg for a pen, but, Lucifer, may I please borrow your pen? I promise to return it to you tomorrow, buy a new ink, to your preference, as soon as classes are over and I can go to proper shopping.” her voice was tired, just like her mind and body. She held no emotions in her words. It was almost as if she was intentionally damaging herself to make up for-

Oh.

Perhaps she wasn’t as different from him as he thought she was, and now, at least, he can better understand why she was deteriorating as fast as she was.

“You can keep it, I don’t mind. However, as the head of the student council, and the one who has to overlook this exchange program, I would have to advise you to take better care of yourself and rest, instead of overworking yourself.” Lucifer told her, with a less condescending voice, only to receive a sarcastic scoff, which confused him. “Tell me that when you’re going to follow your own advice.” and she left.

A chuckle escaped his mouth as soon as the door was closed, and for the first time in ages, he actually went to bed early...For his standards. He had to be very attentive of this one, however...She was much more interesting than he believed.

And the first thing he saw in the morning, as he stepped in the classroom, he saw Y/N handing a file to her sister - A file with all the homework for the whole week, that is - And now he could understand why she was overworked. She was going about life in all the wrong ways...Not that he should be one to talk. He knows his own faults, but admitting them to another is a complete different matter.

But things were going to take a horrid turn for the worst, beginning with Diavolo calling everyone for the Student Council meeting, only to announce that the exchange students were going to have a lowered pass/fail line anymore, but will have to work and achieve the demons’ standards and rise to the challenge given.

“If you’re going to control a demon’s powers, you need to have a proper understanding of them and how they should be used.” Diavolo said, which made him realise that the twins, somehow, managed to make pacts with all of the brothers...All of them, sans one. That one being himself, of course. “Hey, whoa, that’s a bit sudden, don’t you think? Exams are just around the corner!” Anyka protested, obviously shocked. “RAD exams are surprisingly tough.” Belphie nodded in agreement. “I’m sure both of you are going to do great, especially if you’ve studied a little bit throughout the semester.” Diavolo smiled, as usual, and the older twin mimicked no emotion on her face. “But...! But I haven’t! I had fun with the brothers all this time...What am I gonna do?! Y/N, say something!” the younger twin shook her sister, waking her up from her trance. “Hmm...? What should I say? He’s right.” she shrugged, not bothering to look at anyone. “I’ve already considered that, and I have a plan. Satan, you are going to be tutoring Y/N and Anyka up until the day of exams.” Lucifer dumped the responsibility on the blond brother, who was barely able to say anything from the shock of being put on the spot. “Oh, that’s perfect! Thank you soooo much, Satan! You’re the best!” Anyka jumped on the 4th born, who chuckled awkwardly. “Thanks, but I can do this by myself. If this was all, then I’m going to see you during the exams. Bye.” she gave a brief peace sign, before leaving to her room, no doubt continuing her studying.

Obviously, Lucifer knew she had it in the bag if she focused. She’s a smart girl, she won’t have any problem...If she stays healthy, that is.  There was something about her that made him want to approach her, to hold her face, to look her in the eyes and tell her to stop doing this to herself. There was something about her innocence and heart that made him want to protect her at all cost, even if that meant protecting her from herself. He pondered offering to tutor her, but what could he even tutor her about, when she clearly knows everything there needs to be learnt about the exams?

He wanted to kiss her hands and reassure her that everything will be okay, and he wanted to hold her tight and help her fall asleep without having running thoughts through her head all the time.

But he can’t do that, can he? If he were to approach her, she’d run away, like a scared little baby fawn trying to find her mama, while being chased off by a hunter. He had to be gentle with her, delicate, to lure her into a sense of security and safety...A warm haven by his side...

But can he really manage to do that, when he’s supposed to be the Big Bad Scary Wolf who punishes everyone and doesn’t allow happiness in the dorms, as per so gracefully described by his lovely brothers?

The first day of the exams came much faster than Y/N realised - She had no idea how time flew by so fast, it felt like she just blinked and bam, exam days - So here she was, drinking her 3rd coffee for the morning while writing her answers for the exam.

Caladrius Blood was the third ingredient for that famous ancient elixir that required Powdered unicorn hood and bittergrass root, for the Magical Potions exam from that morning...

A forest, what covered the surface of Devildom shortly after it came into existence, the answer for the History exam from the afternoon...And a three-legged crow being the relief sculpture at the entrance to the Devildom royal tomb...

Yes, these were all incredibly easy questions, she had no problem, clearly. And that was the same for the 2nd day, with the hexes and curses... And then came the practical exam...Seductive Speechcraft test.

She looked around the classroom with a frown, knowing she had to pair up with someone, but all the brothers were crowding around her sister, and she could only sigh, looking down with her arms crossed, not knowing what to do.

“Would you like to pair up with me, Y/N?” Lucifer’s voice rang soothingly in her ear, making her turn around, her eyebrow raised in confusion. “You...Want to pair up...With me?” she asked in a slow, unsure voice, which made him smile and nod. “Yes, is something wrong with that?” he bent down slightly, getting closer to her face. “No, of course not. I was just...Surprised that anyone wanted to pair up with me. Anyway, we should get started.” she nodded, looking away from him and guiding him to a more secluded part of the classroom. “You have to be the one doing the seducing. I am really curious how you are going to proceed. Could you, perhaps, be...Scared?” with his infamous smirk, he looked smugly at how her otherwise unfaltering facade began to break slightly. “No...It’s just...If I knew I was going to be the one doing the seducing, I would have put on some make up this morning, so I wouldn’t look like I just woke up from death after being buried for 100 years...No, make that 1000 years.” she corrected herself after taking a quick look at her reflection on her D.D.D. “I can assure you, your appearance, for us, demons, won’t change a thing. It’s the words and gestures that matter.” he let out a soft chuckle, watching her nod in acknowledgement. “Okay, if you say so, then I will have to believe you. Can you promise me that you won’t attempt to kill me...Again...No matter what I say or do? Trust me, I want top grades, and I’m going to do anything in my power to snatch them.” her voice now was much firmer, and it sounded clearer, more confident. It was clear that her pride and ambition were on the line, and he wanted to see how she was going to seduce him. He could feel electricity running through his veins from the excitement. “Yes, of course. I won’t do anything to you. In fact, I will be the human, and you will be the demon. You have all the power now. Amaze me, Y/N.” he watched her turn to the side slightly, as if preparing her A-Game face - He was expecting her to try out an impersonation of a succubus, since they were plenty in Devildom, but what she did...Was beyond Lucifer’s power of comprehension.

Her eyes held a glimmer of innocence and pity, her soul somehow seemed to glow with purity and light, just like it was when she first arrived. Her demeanour wasn’t assertive, confident and mysterious, but held a tint of submissiveness and glowing affection, as if she wanted to touch him, but she was too afraid to approach a deity.

He thought that, as he gazed with interest at the girl in front of him, only to be shocked completely by how sweetly alluring her voice could sound, and he almost felt the need to have her cup his face so he could melt into her warm, soothing caress.

“Lucifer...Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Have you noticed how your health is starting to decline? I know you are a demon, and a few hours cut off your usual sleeping schedule won’t mean much for you, but you are exhausted, Lucifer. I hate seeing you like that...Overworking yourself...Finding more work to get piled under, even if you’ve already finished your assignments. I worry about you, and your health...But more...I worry about the reasons for your overworking. I know you’re trying so hard to keep away all the intrusive thoughts that keep plaguing your mind...You think that working to exhaustion is going to keep your mind busy, so you’ll sleep without having to overthink.” hearing those words, Lucifer truly wondered if she had veela or succubus genes in her family, or if her tongue was laced with the sweetest poison there is. She slowly approach him, gingerly holding both of his hands, looking down, imitating a timid kitten, and guiding him to the nearest chair behind him, so she could be at his height...Just a little above, creating the perfect angle to change from a submissive expression, to a more dominating, seductive gaze.

“You’re always so concerned about your brothers, wanting to make sure everything goes perfectly, to the plans that you create, because if things go out of control, you are afraid they will have to suffer...Just like it happened when you led the Rebellion. You still feel guilty for what happened. You are afraid that they regret following you...And so, you are purposely hurting yourself...And this self-inflicted pain became your own sense of comfort and defense. You are afraid that, if somehow, you indulge in your pleasure and the pain disappears, things are going to go out of control completely. You are afraid of the unknown and what it could bring...But trust me, Lucifer...I promise you...They love you. They love you, just as much as you love them. They don’t regret following you. You are a family, and they are happy and content staying together, all 7 of you, together. You deserve to be happy too, Lucifer. You deserve to allow yourself a day off from all this mess, and indulge in your pleasures.” she was so close to him, whispering in his ear, then crouching down, holding his hands, keeping them together and kissing them softly, sending shivers down his spine...But more, he froze completely on the spot. He was shocked...His mind was almost completely blank...Because...How could she possibly know all of this? How can she speak like that? She’s just a human...So...How...? Surely, his brothers had no idea, so how could she, a mere human who came by less than an year ago, understand and know him so well? His heart was beating fast, and it was in pain. It was expecting...It was conflicting everything he ever stood for. A day off? A day for himself? A day of self-care? A day...With her...?

“Won’t you allow me to take away the pain, just for the night? Allow yourself to feel something else other than pain and misery. Allow yourself to be happy. To feel emotional pleasure. Allow yourself to be yourself again, only for a night, because Lucifer, you are not a robot, or a machine, you are not programmed, wired, or running or petrol or gasoline. You have a beautiful heart that feels so much, but you are afraid of the myriad of unknown emotions that are desperately trying to burst out and scream at you to let loose...Because you can. You showed me that you are capable of letting loose, when we were stuck in Levi’s game. Do you remember, Lucifer? We were up on the roof, you had your hair in my lap, and I stroked it gently...You were smiling so beautifully...So carefree...Because you had no worries on your mind or heart. You were yourself. And you were happy.” she put her forehead to his, speaking softly, barely above a whisper, but despite her tone, her words spoke loudly, strongly, into his heart, making it pump faster and faster, energy shooting through his every nerve, vein, artery and capillary...His mind was completely captivated, and his heart was captured. Without even realising, his lips were parted and his eyes were wide from the shock, imagining himself in this utopic paradise that she created merely with her words.

“All you have to do is take my hand and follow me. It’s simple. You can do it, Lucifer. Let yourself feel. Let yourself be...What do you say?” she was perfect. She didn’t break her act for not even a split second. The sparkle in her eyes was there from the beginning to the end, and he could feel her fast-beating heart - It was regular for her, as she had the heart rate of a rabbit - It almost seemed natural for her to persuade and sweet-talk anyone like that. Without even realising it himself, he took her hand, looking at her eyes with an expression of wonder, awe and complete fascination...Until she gave him a devilish smirk, and her eyes started glinting with mischief, which made him frown slightly in confusion.

“I won.” was the last thing she said to him before pulling away from him completely, retorting to her bland and pained, exhausted demeanour. “If I made even Lucifer look at me with glazed eyes and made him take my hand, to take him to some dreamland oasis, then I’m sure I deserve the highest mark in the class.” she chuckled with a deadpan expression on her face, not looking at him. “How...Did you do that?” he asked in a low voice, almost not believing what just happend. “Oh, that was possibly the easiest thing I’ve ever done in a long while. You see...I hold great pride in being incredibly intuitive, perceptive, detail-oriented and being able to properly read people...And their hearts. If I had Asmo, I would have told him that he has an amazing personality, and he’s not just all-looks. If it was Mammon, I’d have showered him with praises. If it was Beel, I would have played the family, Lilith and guilt card...And the list goes on. If you, however, are asking how I managed to say all the right words to you...Well...It’s a bit different...And personal.” she spoke, looking at the teacher with a half-smirk as she was given the highest mark, and rightfully so. “What could be so personal that you managed to speak to me as if you are some ancient demon who has been luring people for aeons with her sweet words laced with acid?” he stood up, looking down at her with a stern expression, yet his mind and heart were fighting a war of conflict. “...I told you everything I would have liked someone to tell me all this time.” the raven haired man could see sadness clouding her face, before leaving to her room.

That was a true experience for Lucifer, he couldn’t deny that to himself, and more, for the whole day, no matter how much he tried to work - Her words kept haunting him, and as soon as he picked up the pen, he immediately thought back at the exam and threw it back on the desk.

He tried taking a hot bath, tried listening to that TSL soundtrack, but she was the one to give it to her, after she spent a fortune on Akuzon for his birthday present, but of course, he thought back at her, and he had to stop the music altogether.

Everything he did, he was reminded of those words that held the flavour of the Poison Apples he eats so often, and it was driving him insane. He could feel his brain overheating, and the pressure on his chest was so great that he wanted to dig his nails into his chest and rip apart the flesh, take out the heart and stomp on his heart, because he couldn’t take it anymore.  He was a demon, and he was a heavy sinner - He NEEDED to grab her hand and escape the horror of reality. He needed to feel that he wasn’t bound by space, nor time, a body or a brain - He needed to be just one soul, bound to another, to feel no more pain, no more reality - Only euphoria, content, happiness, pleasure.

He couldn’t believe he was so willing to give in to his desires, and it was only because of her. It was HER fault. And yet, her last words before her departure from the classroom kept echoing constantly - 

“I told you everything I would have liked someone to tell me all this time.”

He was right all along.

She truly was like him. She was the only one who could properly understand him, and likewise, he was the only one who could take her pain away.  Maybe it was his guardian-complex, having to constantly look after someone, needing to be useful to someone... He needed her, as much as she needed him... Because, unlike him, she could easily waste away, as she is nothing more than a human resembling the first Snowdrop in Spring. He could resist until the end of this world, just as he has done until now, but she couldn’t.

The endless train of thoughts was interrupted by yet another knock on his door, that proved to be the same person that plagued his mind - The little lamb walked into the wolf’s den, almost as if summoned, out of her own accord.

To bring him back his fountain pen, along with the promised high-quality ink...It made him chuckle at how adorable and thoughtful she was being, without realising.

“...You are troubled by something. Do you...Want to talk about it...Or should I leave you alone? I did say some pretty heavy words today, I understand if you wouldn’t want to stay in the same room as me for a while.” she gingerly put the items on his study, not looking up at him. “How come you never looked me in the eyes until then?” he asked, looking at her from the office chair. “I...Was never able to look anyone in the eyes, in my life. Now even my sister or my mother. It makes me start panicking...I get intimidated and scared...So I look away. I forced myself to behave the way I was supposed to, but it was the last thing from comfortable. Don’t take it personal.” she chuckled awkwardly, stepping back. “I was surprised that your words had such an impact that I was ready to follow you...But would you follow me? Would you be able to do the very thing that you told me just today? Would you be willing to strip away that facade of yours, take care of yourself, and allow your heart to feel again?” he asked, stepping slowly in front of her, almost resembling a predator prowling to its prey. “...I don’t want to break down and cry, because if I do...Things will only go downhill, very fast and very hard. I’m...Usually on a downward spiral, but when the wave hits...It takes a long time to swim back to the surface...And I’m sure for how many more times will I have the strength to move and breathe.” she muttered, shuffling on her feet, and Lucifer could understand very well. He could see how frail she has become, and it was all because her brain was working against her so heavily, for whatever reason that was eroding her so badly. “If you promise to stay by my side, I will be here to hold your hand and pull you out of the stormy tides. I will walk next to you for your whole journey, until you get tired of me. You just have to take my hand and let yourself be...Let yourself feel. Let out all the pent up emotions, then smile at me, because you have a beautiful smile, and I haven’t seen it in ages. I know you are afraid...It is frightening walking alone, in the dark, with so many monsters around you, ready to gnaw and maul at you...By I will be there, waiting for you, guiding you with a flashlight, ready to hold and protect you...So...What will you do, Y/N? Do you seek salvation and happiness, or are you ready to give up on yourself and want to succumb to the bottomless pit of the abyssal ocean you were thrown into.” he mimicked the way she talked, the way she moved, the way she articulated her words, as he took his gloves off, touching her face and softly caressing it, bending slightly to peer into her eyes.

He could see that she was afraid - She was beginning to tremble, her eyes were glossy, brimming with tears, her bottom lip was quivering and the conflict of good and evil was obvious inside of her - Her hands were in the air, ready, but not entirely, to grab his hands...

“All you have to do is take my hand and follow me. It’s simple. You can do it, Y/N. Let yourself feel. Let yourself be...What do you say?” he mimicked her own words, wanting to see if it would be enough of a push for her 

Choosing was truly a mortifying experience, but she was strong, he knew that - And that was made obvious when her shoulders finally started shaking, her breath becoming ragged....

And she threw her arms around his torso, letting rivers and rivers of tears fall down her already exhausted face. Her body was so small compared to his, so small...And so cold, in his warm arms...He couldn’t help but hold her tighter, stroking her hair soothingly, putting a kiss on the top of her head.

“Please take care of me, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I-I don’t want to leech off of you...I’ve always been everyone’s therapist...And I know how much it sucks...B-But you’re the only one who ever bothered to show me any kindness and understanding. Please, Lucifer, don’t let me drown...I’m so tired of swimming...I can’t go on.” her sobs were so pitiful and broken that it shattered his heart and resolve, and all he could do was guide her to the bed, knowing she was too weak to sit up for too long, and started rocking her gently, as he would do with his brothers long ago, in the Celestial Realm, whenever they were upset or had a nightmare.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’m here, and I’m not going away until you tell me to. You won’t drown...You grabbed the lifeline the second you took my hand, and I’m going to make sure you keep floating above the sheen of the water and have no problem breathing.” he reassured her, knowing very well how hopeless it feels being in that situation...But now they could at least cling onto each other for help, support, love brightness.

“How...? How did you know everything...?” she asked, clutching on his shirt, almost as if the harder she pulled, the better the chances of survival. “Because the very words you told me are what you needed to hear the most.”