#thank my brain for producing fan content for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewriterowl · 1 year

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Miss Owl, I just want to say thank you for consistently writing dinluke fics for almost two years! Your updates makes me anticipate weekends more than ever, but also, you make me want to write again!

I have questions about writing though. If you're comfortable in sharing it, what keeps you motivated to write and how do you maintain it? I used to like writing but due to poor receptions and sales, I find myself not liking it anymore.. I still love the feeling of having written something but I don't enjoy the process and I am so scared of not having anyone/readers bounce back the energy and enthusiasm I put into my writing. I wonder if you have experienced something akin to that?

In context of star wars (especially dinluke), I have so many ideas of stories I want to share but not only am I afraid of poor receptions, I am also anxious about my English skill since I am non-native user. I noticed that the majority sw fics in ao3 or tumblr are written by native English speakers, as opposed to, say, in my previous anime fandoms where I found more non-native writers. I have been wanting to write dinluke stories for about a year now but these thoughts kept stopping me DX

I'm sorry for this long incoherent ask. Thank you again for being such an awesome writer and blog owner!

Oh thank you so very much! This is such a kind thing to say and i really, really appreciate you reaching out to talk about this. That is always one of the biggest compliments to get, honestly, is hearing someone wants to take up their fun and passion of writing again.

And I am more than happy to answer these for you!

So, one thing to remember, that is sometimes hard to not fall into a trap of: this is not professional. You owe no one anything. Fanfiction is for yourself first and foremost. If you always keep that in mind, you will find yourself more happy than not when you write.

Think of fanfiction as training. You go to the gym or play a sport for yourself and your own passion and health first. This is you on a treadmill or lifting weights or doing some fun kickboxing class only in writing form.

Maybe it will turn into something more? I mean, it's something I hope for myself personally, but I can't be so focused on it becoming a career that I forget my love of it either. And that can be hard too.

And the feel of this sort of need for recognition--a hope for reviews and praise and followers...ugh, it's haunting. I worry about it every day. My anxious brain counts and compares reviews of each chapter. I was panicked when one chapter of Blooms had 50 and another had 12. Or how I look at Hope and go "it's so close to 1k but it's not there..." and keep going over everything that's wrong and messy about the fic and thinking I need to focus on editing it asap.I kept focusing on what I was doing wrong, second guessing myself, terrified that people hate these things despite being told otherwise.

Back when I was BlackBelt on fanfiction.net, there were many times i did not get great reception. It took me years of continuous writing to get a following. But i just loved the bit I contributed and how it helped me navigate the site and find more people to read and follow, that it was worth it. Even when things flopped...or when real people found my embarrassing non-subtle self-insertion OC fic.

Try not to focus on the numbers. It is SO difficult to do. I really understand that because it never seems good enough in your brain no matter what you see.

But, if you write what you want--write what you love, people will come. Dinluke is a great, big community...but it's not massive. Many people have read everything that has been produced. Many are looking for more. Adding to that particular number IS good. Making more content for the fans to have the option of reading IS great.

I was terrified of writing and publishing Little Bird because I knew this was a new couple and Dark content in something with so little available may not be well received...and it wasn't on every level. I got a lot of push-back. I got a bit of hate. i know people have talked very poor of me and there have been rumors spread because I love dark content with Din as the Dark character and not Luke.

It wasn't fun at all. But, other people loved it. There was so much positivity with it too. it inspired other people to dabble in it. it got people to also write the opposite so more was written for the community as a whole. That is a great thing.

Yes, you may get some push back or you may not get the numbers you want and I am the first to tell you; IT. SUCKS. But the feeling of people like you reaching out, excited, wanting to talk and read this content really outweighs it.

And you are doing amazing. You need to remember, and tell yourself, you are speaking a English as a second language. Do you understand how amazing and impressive you are for that? English is a psycho language--anyone who learns it is amazing. I can't ease your anxiety, but I will tell you that it should never be something you should keep to yourself because you are amazing for it!

And again, if you think of fanfiction as training--this would just be you also exploring your strength with this other language. It's you opening up the community even more. And I mean...my stuff honestly is a disaster XD I'm a native english speaker and whoo-boy do I have some misspellings and awkward sentences sprinkled in massive quantities throughout my stuff. English speakers will flop at English. Trust me, you're good!

Also, there is a chance that you will get this same message that you sent to me from someone who is thanking you for posting your work because it is getting them inspired to do the same.

I do this cause it is fun, I love writing, i enjoy exploring dark concepts in a safe space and making friends from it. I swear, because of taking the plunge and doing some scary things like putting these stories out there, I have met some of my best friends.

it isn't easy--but i do think it is for sure worth the fun and adventure of it!

#owl inbox #dinluke #writing

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urstruly-ghst · 1 year

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this is ghst dropping by with a few announcements.

one, i would probably take a hiatus once more. it isn't because i lost interest in twst, its because one of my favorite idols has sadly passed away.

many of you may not know, but im a huge astro fan or aroha. being an aroha gave me so much inspiration to write because,, honestly, idk? they just click into my brain. so seeing moonbin, my bias and someone i had the privilege to meet and see perform live, on the news declared as dead... i honestly can't bring myself to write the romance my blog usually produces. its hard seeing the person who has been inspiring me for a long time pass so suddenly.

announcement two. im dropping posts and will still continue to block spam bots/blank blogs. on the span of my hiatus. blank blogs are now being slowly pushed out of my blog to avoid spam bots and drowning my content to not reach the algorithm.

announcement three. im compiling all my works to a masterlist, since i published a lot, this might take some time. i requested help already, but if you want to help, i can always look into it!

i hope you'll still find it in your graces to support me. thank you again for understanding.

this is ghst, logging off, see you!

#chats with ghst #hiatus announcement #tw. death

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ivyial · 8 months

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hii, how are you? I stumbled upon your page and I started to check it out, upon doing that I came across one of your eagleone posts, and how you view the ship or how you view people who dislike the shop entirely for no reason at all. and to be honest I couldn't agree more. your choice of words and how you describe just makes my heart feel hope again. hope that there's actual human beings that are using a gift called a brain for once.

it honestly drives me crazy to see people literally sending death threats and literal racism to those who ship a ship that isn't quite popular. another account just a few days ago that speaks alot about eagleone and analyses their scenes and dialogues, got literal death threats that would me a grown adult puke from how disgusting to know such human beings exist.

( didn't realize to be that long LMAO )

anyway I just wanted to say that I absolutely love all your eagleone content literally makes my day <3

i- 🥺🥺❤❤ omg thank you so much anon

i've never been one for ship wars. what bothers me the most about the eagleone discourse (and the current cleon discourse on twitter as well) is how likening characters to siblings (eagleone) or saying one views the other as a kid (cleon - insane take but anyway) eventually becomes "these characters are LITERALLY siblings, they are so sibling coded to me that it essentially makes them actual siblings" and creates a breeding ground for harassment and accusations of proshipping.

shipping has always been a matter of personal taste, and it's one of those few things in fandoms where there's no need to debate about conflicting ships. in the end, you can just agree to disagree. i like X for those reasons and you like Y for those. that's it. ships are usually better enjoyed with fellow shippers. it only risks becoming an echochamber when people start to take it so seriously that their group of shippers decides to hate on everyone else, and eventually, to harass them.

which is unfortunately what is happening right now. i'm very aware of the death threats and everything else, and it's sad and infuriating to realise that fandoms will never change. idk how old you are anon, or if you were around on tumblr when it happened, but a few years ago, the voltron fandom was a big thing around here (i apologise in advance to everyone who had to live through that lmfao). klance was arguably the biggest ship in the fandom (keith x lance), so the shippers were actively campaigning for it to become canon. it got to the point where klance shippers sent the show creators cupcakes filled with glass shards to convince them to canonise the ship. I WISH I WAS FUCKING KIDDING

this stuff's not new, bullying fellow fans isn't new unfortunately, and bullying actors or producers isn't either. if i remember correctly, when supernatural s4-5 (i guess) were airing back in the 2000s, dean's love interest jo was removed from the show supposedly because fangirls lost their shit and sent hate mail to producers. but that's all speculation, i can't find a reliable source for that.

i wish people would stop taking everything so seriously and get this nasty over fiction. however, it's unlikely that it will happen, because fandoms are filled with kids who don't know any better, are sometimes fully raised by the internet and then turn into immature adults. it's rare to find spaces in fandoms were you can genuinely have fun and create content without being policed by 12 year olds, but when you can, it makes the fandom experience a lot better.

i don't put much content out there, but i'm glad to see that the few posts i write are appreciated!! i'm working on an eagleone fic rn so it definitely makes me want to keep working on it regularly and create more content 😭

#resident evil #fandom #eagleone #leon kennedy #ashley graham

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anakinskywalkerog · 2 years

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HEY 🥸 I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind talking about when you started your Tumblr and how you got into writing fanfic? I’ve been discouraged because I am posting my imagines and it doesn’t get a lot of engagement. It also takes me a long time to write and you seem to be able to write more so good on you, I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving some tips for how to get people to read your work? Obviously your writing is exquisite so maybe tips on how to be a good writer? Or if you could talk about your journey with Tumblr that would be helpful, THANK YOU

hey glad to hear you’re writing and sure i can ramble about my Tumblr experience 🤡🫠 sorry this is long

i first joined Tumblr in like 2011? 2012? and i was a sad little teen posting very shitty poetry and photography. as far as i know that blog still exists (😳) but it hasn’t been updated in like ten years and i don’t have the password to it anymore 😂

the second Tumblr i had was in 2015 or 2016, and it was deep into my disordered eating phase. the “fitblr” trend, if anyone was online and remembers that. posting ridiculous pictures of my “progress” and my “meals”. we don’t need to talk about her. thankfully that brain is dead to us, and that blog has been fully deleted

that brings us to this blog: in i think March? of this year (2022), i, now a fully fledged adult person, made a tumblr page because i was DEEP into a renewed obsession spiral surrounding Hayden Christensen and his return to the Kenobi show. i’ve talked a little about this before, so i’ll keep it short, but basically: i have OCD, which is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. the last time i was obsessed with Hayden Christensen was somewhere around age 11? and having it return and in such a huge way was really weird for me and difficult to deal with. obviously this all coincided with some difficult life stuff i had going on, but the obsession was very uncomfortable—i was searching the internet constantly for any new Hayden content, i was watching old interviews over and over again, and it wasn’t enough to satisfy that compulsive impulse, so i made a Tumblr in order to find and interact with other Hayden fans. and it worked! and posting about Hayden and the OWK press tour became the compulsion that allowed the obsession to express itself comfortably…it’s hard to explain.

part of my compulsive cycle at that point was obviously watching the star wars movies over and over again, and (i don’t think i’ve yet told this part of the story) one night my wifi fully went out and i didn’t have access to the movies/my compulsion. this was anxiety producing for me, so the way i chose to try to cope with it was writing a few thousand words in Anakin’s perspective. those words never made it to the internet, but that’s the moment i realized writing fanfiction made me feel good/calmed me down.

and the rest is history 😂 jk, but idk, i just started maladaptive daydreaming (which i always do) specifically in the star wars universe, and then i started writing those imaginings down. it’s actually difficult, because part of me thinks that doing this whole Tumblr and fanfic thing has kept the obsession active for longer…but, the obsession is not clinical anymore, and i do think fanfic has added more joy/positive things to my life than negative things.

as for being a good writer—as i said, i’m an adult with a college degree and i’ve read a lot. if you are younger and haven’t had as much education, you shouldn’t compare yourself to other writers. i do consider myself a writer and i have been working on other writing projects for years—i was writing other stuff before i got into fanfiction, which i consider a low stakes place for me to play and not worry about the end product. just practice!! imagine stuff in your head and write it down. and make sure to read a lot, because reading gives you a lot in terms of grammar and how to put your ideas into language. how to get people to read your fanfiction? truly i have no idea. give the people romance? haha that seems to work. just keep posting and eventually people will find your stuff!! and feel free to come off anon and i’ll boost your work 😉

that was so long bc i can RAMBLE and i guess i like talking about myself haha! if you read this far, you get a prize

#star wars #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #ocd #fanfiction #star wars prequels #anakin #anakin x reader #sw fanfic #anakin fanfic #fanfic #writeblr #ao3 writer #sw writing #star wars writing #obi wan kenobi #ocdawareness #answered asks

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mishwanders · 1 year

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What's your reason for fanfiction writing? Why do you produce works for this genre? What pushes you into writing, that made you not only a reader, but also a writer in fanfiction community/fandom?

I love your writing/portraying skills in mold monster scenes in Our Moral Decay. Keep writing/producing, I'm proud of you for your labour; the way you put your love, excitement, interest and imagination in the way you produce something, making/design ocs, talking about ocs, even in the images you make for your fics you put on the description section 💐

Thank you so much! Seeing this in my box made my heart grow three times larger and I’M SCREAMING OVER HERE ABOUT IT!!! Y’all really don’t know how much it means to hear it because I do try my hardest on them and put a lot of effort to the stuff I write and try to make things as easy as possible for people to navigate and with quality content and characters. In collusion to this part: THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU! 💕

Okay now for the rest of the explanations. This is gonna be a long one - so grab yourself a drink lol. Ima put my ramblings under the cut so I don’t take up the timeline.

My reasons? Truly I find a lot of enjoyment in it. I’ve always loved to write and share the ideas and thoughts that are constantly in my head. Sometimes I use it as a tool to cope with things that I’ve experienced in my life, it being easier for me to handle and explain it and convey my feelings through fiction sometimes than just coming right out and saying it at times. But it also helps me a lot because I can write these characters and treat them with the kindness and, in an extension, feels like I’m extending that kindness to myself - especially when I’m writing disabled characters or those with trauma involved. But more often than not, my reason for it has just been my brain seeing an empty space and going “but what if?”

For why with the genre? It’s funny you bring up genre because I feel like a kind of touch on a few that I would have never if it weren’t for people wanting that in fic (like romance), but I like the way I’ve kind of meshed things together to make something of my own. Growing up I read a lot to escape being in my broken body, and my primary reading material was a lot of southern gothic, horror (like goosebumps, Frank Pretti, Ted Dekker, etc), fantasy, classic gothics, and the Bible. So it was a pretty odd mixture to say the least. I feel like I’ve done a decent job of blending elements of each into it - so much so that I’ve gotten compliments on the blend saying I remind them of A24 or it’s as if the reader is really there in the story, or like I’m telling you as if I physically experienced it myself. Which in part, I have, but that’s getting off topic lol.

The thing that will always continue to push me to write is the fact that my brain cannot stop when it comes to finding the gray areas in things. Resident Evil is my brains perfect little play place because it has a lot of story but it also has a lot of loose ends that my brain loves to latch onto and pick at with a stick or put it under a microscope and analyze it to the end. It’s mainly why I like writing longer stories too because I can explore what my brain is picking away at versus in one shots - I talk a lot as you can tell, it’s hard to keep my thoughts contained to one thing sometimes lol.

I used to write for other fandoms a long time ago as a kid, but once my parents found out, my ability to write that stuff was taken from me, and I had to read fanfic in secret from them and really anyone else. It wasn’t until this past year that I took a leap of faith and joined a discord with other resident evil fans. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be writing now. They continually push me to be my best and we all pick at each others brains a lot and talk about the stories and ocs, so it’s been fun because I have a support group behind me that pushes me to do my best.

I also love to read others fics because I just like seeing other peoples ideas! Everyone is different and everyone has a different style, so I like to see what’s going on in their heads revolving around our favorite characters and settings. I’m always blown away by the quality that other fanfic writers put into their work and it’s just amazing to see imo!

Just, fanfics are so varied, have so many peoples experiences and ideas within them. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out here like this, because everyone leaves a piece of themselves in their writing, and everyone has an opinion on it. I’ve been grateful to have a lot of amazing people follow me, a lot who are nice and kind to me. I just love being in a space that is accepting and willing to come together of our favorite characters and such and geek out over it. It’s been a community that I’ve searched for, for a very long time. I’m happy to have found that here 💕

#mish rambles #I told you it was a lot lol #but yeah my open letter to why I do what I do

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ariesbilly · 2 years

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I’m sorry in advance for venting but your blog is really refreshing because you say it like it is and there’s no need to use overtly complicated and polite language just so some ppl don’t lose their shit.

Anyway. I’m not even starting on St*ddie (I could go on forever) because honestly it’s clear that the D Bags and other producers or whatever knew that the ship/interaction between the characters would appeal to the audience and bring more ppl to watch the show, because it is just a cutesy little ship with no conflict whatsoever (which, y’know…boring af), so there’s no one trying to play the social justice warrior when they are shipping St*ddie.

But one thing I also don’t understand is the obsession over R*nance? Maybe it’s because I don’t like any of the Wheelers and how they are coddled every second of the show. But I just don’t see the appeal either, especially with the whole “let me help my friend try to get back to his ex” type of dynamic the group had.

Like, I get it, people want more LGBTQ+ rep, I want it too, but insisting on Nancy? I just honestly don’t get it. Like, whether the fandom admits it or not, sure Nancy can shoot guns, but she is still an entitled suburban girl. I don’t think Robin would go for her after her crush on Tammy. Not that Tammy and Nancy are the same, but still. If people want their rep, they should stop settling for crumbs and shit that just doesn’t fit.

And like maybe I am a bad sister or friend for this, but it’s getting so tiring listening to my sisters and friends raving over these ships when I just find it extremely dull. But god forbid I talk about Harringrove with any of them, since they fell for the “Billy is the ultimate villain” bullshit. But like…at least Harringrove has complexity and way more depth, so much potential. Idk.

Anyway. Thank you for being unapologetically honest! Again, it’s very refreshing. I really enjoy your blog!

Oof you hit the nail on the head about r*nonance.

I never like popular femslash ships lmfao content for femslash ships is rare enough and I always gotta make shit more difficult for myself by shipping the LEAST popular thing, just making up my own shit entirely 😂

And yeah it’s definitely because people so badly want femslash ships and get nothing so when they are served the barest of crumbs they go crazy. And I just… do not succumb to that way of thinking. Because above of all else, I want to be entertained ALSO I don’t just go around putting queer labels on characters for the hell of it (sometimes I do as a joke but right now I’m talking about when I’m actually shipping something) I have to actually see context for it within the narrative. And I know some people don’t like making it that deep and just wanna have fun but that’s just not how my brain works lmao things need to make sense to me

So when people start trying to make Nancy goddamn wheeler of all people queer it’s like…. She isn’t. Even remotely lmfao I know everyone’s all excited robin finally had a female to interact with in I guess a significant way but this is not the move it is not the vibe lmao

As far as your friends and sister go… talk about harringrove all the time. Walk into every conversation starting with harringrove. That is your right lmfao I’m so serious.

I only have one irl friend who is into stranger things in a remotely fan-ish fashion and she’s a big Eddie fan and she knows I love billy and we have this jokey beef going on but she hasn’t brought up anything about him being a villain to me… probably because we’ve been friends for over 10 years and she knows good and well my habit of latching onto whatever character has the worst personality 😂 she knows not to fight me. Which is my other advice. Be so annoying in your arguments that people eventually learn to shut their mouth around you. I condition everyone in my life to do this and I know peace because of it

#briana answers things

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kunikinnie · 1 year

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Found a new Fukuzawa page! There are very very few accounts that produce content related to Fukuzawa, it makes me so happy to find such accounts (｡ﾉω＼｡)

I haven't looked at everything on your account yet but if you're accepting requests, I'd love to see a fiction about where Fukuzawa attended the masquerade ball! Thank you for the content (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡

Hello there! This was, as the name suggests, originally a Kunikida-centric blog until for some reason I just had an unhealthy attachment to Fukuzawa even before S4 began HAHA tho ofc Kunikida is still number one my heart

But I'm glad you enjoy it! It makes me happy to find people who love Fukuzawa too hehe bless S4 for giving him more screentime for fans to enjoy!

Also rn I'm not accepting requests, however I will be doing yours once I open them some time in the near future :) Ngl the gears in my dysfunctional brain started turning REAL fast when I saw the prompt HAHA

#asks #thank you and i hope you enjoy your... stay? HAHA

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nothoughts-onlywomen · 1 month

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don't know when (or why) I hit 700 followers, but thanks guys!

whether you're here for lumax content, or are a fan of steadfast sightless, or admire the same ravishing ladies that I do, thank you. from the bottom of my heart. thank you for making me feel like my beautiful dumb brain produces good stuff.

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jack-nack · 4 months

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10th anniversary and still nothing... Not even a peep. It's so sad... All that and we never even got a proper ending. What a waste of potential. I hope Jack's happy, with all his money from loyal fans...

Do me a favor and stick a fork in the nearest electrical outlet. Anyway. Hi. I’ve been getting a lot of these asks for the show’s anniversary, so I thought I’d come out of hibernation for a little to check in on the fanbase. By which, I mean, the twelve of you still writing CeVonn/Brian slash fic well after both characters got murdered- shine on, you magnificent bastards. I hope one day to have a fragment of the dedication you all have to shit that doesn’t matter. To the rest of you- I’ve put together this handy Q&A guide, after which I’m never speaking to you again. Enjoy! Where’ve you been since the finale? Out. The team is not A Coherent Unit anymore, which means we largely had no interest in carrying on our social media presence. You can still find the other folks Around, at social media links I’m not gonna bother with. I know Timothy is doing some spin-off thing. Allison’s scrubbed her online presence, which was the smartest move of any of our little gaggle. Jamir’s gotten really into Horizon shit. And Lakeisha died in a dust collapse a few years back. Sorry if this is how you found out. Why haven’t you made any follow-ups to Station 55? Lot of reasons. I told the story I wanted to tell. And frankly, seeing how awful everyone was being about the end, I didn’t have any real interest in making more content for that particular audience. It’s a horror series, whatever else the fanbase wanted it to be. And just like The Pump Operator said in episode 3- this was never going to be a story with a happy ending. What was in the green barrel? What happened to The Noise Machine? What did the Drill Repairwoman’s song mean? Use your imagination. Were The Deep Tunnels based on a real place? Yes- and filmed there, too. The entirety of Station 55 was produced and recorded in Safety Bunker A93, adjoining the city of Port Conroy. After Dustfall, the whole team were stuck living there while we waited for the surface to be inhabitable again. And there wasn’t a lot else for us to be doing with our time. Can I make a spin-off series? Can I sell Station 55 merch? You can. And you should. The fuckers that own the rights now are content to make Silt Monster Funko Pops every year or two- you can do better. Make a James doll from the vivisection scene with little removable organs- have some fun with it. I found your other social media- why does it say Ethel instead of Jack? Take a wild guess. Take a realllllly wild guess. Really rub your brain cells together, get the old hamster wheel in your skull moving. Are you serious about never talking to the fanbase again after this? Yep. Inexplicably, I still want to see more of your content. Where can I do that? Twitch.tv/ethelnightshade- stream Wednesdays and Sundays. We write, watch movies, and indulge in wildly self-indulgent ARG bullshit. Occasionally, I will Play a Video Game if I really need manna for the electric bill. I found this blog because I saw you were participating in the Grand Brutale, and have no context for any of the above. Sincerely- what the fuck? Sorry.

I found this blog because I was an earnest fan of Station 55, and have no context for what a Grand Brutale is. Sincerely- what the fuck? Video game battle royale competition that I’ve inexplicably been chosen for. I am excited to take a clean 98th place after I’m killed in the first ten seconds by a Vtuber with an anime girl falsetto and coloring normally reserved for poisonous snakes. I just wanted to say, how much your show has meant to me. It really helped when I was going through a bad time/helped me meet my friends/come to terms with my sexuality/made me realize I wanted to make movies when I grew up. 1) Thank you. Genuinely. 2) Christ the Buddha, please have higher standards. I wrote this shit when I was 19, you can do better.

#station 55

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hoodedmiho · 1 year

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Another four digit blog here, prolific poster of creativity, regular new genuine follows. Also like being in an empty warehouse with two people in the corner who wave occasionally and might every now and let out a cheer. Anyway, here's an ask - What's your personal favorite piece of fanart you've ever made and what are you the most proud of about it? Who are your favorite fanartists and fic authors?

Oh wow, I reblogged that text post about no engagement yesterday and went to sleep - I honestly didn’t expect to get any answer to it. Thank you for surprising me, Anon! Good to know I’m not the only one with similar experience on tumblr nowadays. And thank you for the wonderful questions and turning it all into spreading some positive feelings <3

Favourite piece of mine I’ve written at the moment is probably my finnpoe fic - even though it’s one of my worst fic in terms of engagement, I’m really fond of it and it has a special place in my heart because how long it is. My adhd brain is awful at multichaptered fics so I’m proud of myself for producing 30k of story of decent quality and ending it. You asked about fanart though but I answered about fics because it was an ask on my main tumblr. But I do have an art tumblr, too, which has double digit followers because it’s a new one and my art is very much a process of figuring shit out right now lol. But just in case you did mean fanart and not fan content in general, my fav would be my latest call of duty fanart. Just because I really felt like I am onto something with digital colouring here.

I’ve got lots of artists and writers who’s work I love but to list some that particularly have been keeping me sane recently I’d say @amikoroyaiart, @bluegiragi, @blackkatmagick, @queeniegalore - go check these people out, they’re amazing <3 (gods I’ve been fighting with myself if I should make it into actual @ since I don’t wanna bother anyone so I can only hope you’ll appreciate some love from a random follower).

#fcuk I don’t even remember what tag i used for asks #lets use #ask miho #ill change it later if I manage to unearth some asks from years ago

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neocatharsis · 2 years

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Taeyong on new single ‘Love Theory’: “Love itself is very difficult and complicated for me”

The NCT leader also tells NME about the “embarrassing” music video, battling self-doubt and his friendship with EXO’s Baekhyun

Something that you learn quick into an interview with Lee Tae-yong – best known just as Taeyong, the leader of K-pop behemoth NCT – is that everything is about communication. From the music he releases, the content he makes and even the way he presents himself over video call, he’s seeking to make a connection with whoever may be listening.

This time he’s speaking to NME from Seoul about his latest solo venture ‘Love Theory’, which is a collaboration with rapper-singer Wonstein, but before the interview even begins, he makes a point to apologise for wearing a mask even over our virtual chat. A tell-tale sign of someone incredibly tuned in to what others may be thinking or feeling before they even say anything, a fitting trait when you’re the leader of an ever-expanding group tha currently clocks in at hefty 23 members.

“I’m very thankful for all of the interest and love people have shown towards ‘Love Theory’,” Taeyong says, switching throughout the interview between his native Korean and English. He wrote and produced the song alongside Wonstein and frequent SM Entertainment producer Zayson. “Love itself is very, is very difficult and complicated for me,” adds Taeyong, who wrote and produced the song alongside collaborator Wonstein and frequent SM producer Zayson, “so Wonstein helped me out a lot with the lyrics to the song”.

The pair’s collaboration evolved organically, with the song having come together a lot earlier than people may expect. Fittingly, the finished product is a bit of a labour of love for the K-pop idol. “This is actually a track that we’ve worked on quite a while ago, it’s not one where we just got to it,” Taeyong reveals. “I actually reached out to Wonstein first saying how I wanted to make a song and we spent a good week or so just working on the pieces, excluding things, gathering our brains together and then just started working.”

The result is a playful and melodic hip-hop track that charms listeners with the relatable woes of trying – and failing – to understand love (he literally begs for a theory to master it). It’s a two-hander, with our protagonist Taeyong desperately reaching out for advice from a love coach in the shape of Wonstein. The dynamic is solidified in a video that accompanied the release, which sees the pair navigate a whimsical, pastel saturated dreamscape.

But the key theme in the video is one fans know and love: that is Taeyong’s face. He wears a T-shirt with his own face on it, hides under a duvet blazoned with his own face and even draws a set of curtains where, you guessed it, his own face materialises upon closure. “So there were actually quite a lot of individuals on set who wanted to kind of take the shirts and the set designs,” Taeyong says when asked about who now has custody of all these Taeyong-centric pieces, “but I felt like my mom would probably want [them] the most so I’ saved him for her. I actually haven’t had the chance to see her yet, but [I’m] planning on seeing her soon so I will definitely get them over to her.”

While having choreography be as much a part of the song’s identity as the music itself isn’t anything new in K-pop, for Taeyong, it goes a little further than just being impressive dance moves: “It’s always very fun watching the fans recreate and upload their own versions [of the choreography], I really enjoy that.” He admits that whether fans will be able to recreate his creations is a key part of his process, a goal that sits front and centre through the choreography development process. “I feel like dance is, in a sense, a way to express music. It just comes naturally for me,” he says.

Whether Taeyong is standing alone or nestled into the 23 members of NCT and their various sub-units, the eye is always pulled in his direction at some point. The masterful control he has over his body and face, as well as his second-nature ease of musicality, makes you believe being the centre of attention is a role he was simply born to play, but he admits that confidence is never anything that comes easy, in fact he even mentions it as our call first connects because he’s nervous to sit in his Zoom window alone.

When asked how he must have felt, then, seeing himself blazened all across the ‘Love Theory’ music video? “Embarrassing. I was really, really embarrassed,” he laughs. The lyrics to the song make reference to his own challenges with self-confidence, as Wonstein sings: “So you’re a rich dude / Speak some English, too / And you ’bout my height, fam / What you lack, son, is 자신감 / In English, ‘Confidence’”. It’s a playful self-awareness that many people who look to be thriving from the outside but continue to struggle with self-doubt may be all too familiar with.

When it comes to nurturing his own self belief, Taeyong says everything can be credited to his members, both in NCT and the SM Entertainment supergroup SuperM. “I’d have to say that the biggest thing that I realised when I was alone and without my members is that, well, I’m really not confident without them”, he admits. “I first thought that working as a solo artist might not be as difficult [as in a group], but what I came to realise is that it’s all the same and working alone, compared to being with my SuperM or NCT team members, I’m actually not as confident. They are my confidence boosters.”

As part of not one, but two wildly popular boybands, Taeyong finds himself in the unique position of being spread across multiple generations of success within the company – the fresh and bubbling triumphs of his own group and the learned, illuminated careers of the veteran SuperM members. “I actually do seek advice from other individuals who have released solo albums before, such as Baekhyun and Taemin,” he says. “I really get a lot of advice and confidence from them, especially Baekhyun who guided me to the right direction when I was unsure of myself,”

The pair’s ongoing friendship within and outside of their activities in SuperM has delighted fans, with compilations of tender moments between them littering social media with a clear fondness for the way the elder member, who’s currently undergoing mandatory military enlistment, takes Taeyong under his wing. It’s clear that friendship is of great value to Taeyong too: “I am really thankful to him. He would tell me to just do what I want to do and, you know, show what you want to show because you’re the best. That was very helpful”.

When you’re thrust into leadership from the outset, it may be hard to see your own needs as important as the collectives’, but what’s abundantly clear is that the collective is necessary for Taeyong to meet his needs. Again, everything is about communication. It’s part of the reason he’s set up his own YouTube channel, TY TRACK, with the hopes of reaching out to fans in a different way. “My YouTube channel is a place where I could interact and communicate with my fans, and I’ve been filming a lot these days, like performances and my daily life and my fish tank,” he laughs as he mentions that final point. The fish tank, fans will appreciate, is still going strong.

But what Taeyong seems to miss most – as the world slowly eases out of pandemic-induced measures – is face-to-face communication. He mentions it throughout the chat, wanting to meet fans face to face, wanting to do interviews face to face too. It feels like a lifeblood he requires to know that the work he’s doing is resonating.

It’s at the forefront of his mind, too, when asked about any goals he still wishes to achieve when it seems like all the ones he’s previously set for himself have been ticked off already. “[If I] were to say a goal, it’s not something major, but it’s just being able to meet our fans right now at this moment and being able to interact with them and see them face to face again”.

You could say love is, at its core, all about cultivating connection, about being in sync with someone else while nourishing yourself in the process. Though Tayeong says he finds it complicated, it seems like he’s already mastered it without requiring a theorum.

#nct #nct 127 #taeyong #lovetheory

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tobesolonely · 3 years

Text

apartment 41

hi y’all! this is my very VERY late submission for @meetmeinfleetwood ‘s “To Lovers” challenge (thank u miss sadie for even still accepting this LOL) but here is some good ol fashioned strangers to lovers with the line, “will you stay the night?” . :D enjoy everyone!

warnings: mentions of alcohol, intoxication, smut :)

word count: ~5.2k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

There were many things you loved about living on your own. You loved that your apartment was always clean. You loved that at the end of a long day, you could come back and brood in peace. You loved walking around in nothing but your underwear without the fear of anyone seeing you. You did things when you wanted, how you wanted. As a self-proclaimed introvert, there was nothing you loved more than living by yourself.

However, during slightly inconvenient moments like these, you wished you had someone else in the apartment with you.

You swore you’d been trying to get your favorite jar of pasta sauce open for at least the past ten minutes. It had been a long day at work, and at the moment all you wanted to do was heat the entire jar of sauce, boil a bunch of pasta, and call it a night. You were growing beyond frustrated–– you even contemplated just breaking the jar open. Ultimately, you decided against it lest you be met with a mouthful of glass.

Feeling defeated, you pick up your phone in frustration and hurriedly punch in your father’s number. The phone rings twice before he answers. “Hello? What’s up, hun?”

“Dad, what should I do if I can’t get this jar open? Like, it’s seriously glued shut,” you set it down on the counter probably a little too hard considering it was a glass jar. “I’m so hungry.”

“Did you try running it under hot water?”

You did.

“Hm. Try getting a good grip on it with a dish towel or something?”

Of course, you did.

“Well, I’m not driving over there just to open a jar for you,” your dad pauses. “You have neighbors, don’t you? Why don’t you knock on one of their doors?”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“No weirder than asking to borrow a cup of sugar.”

You thank your dad for the suggestion and hang up with him shortly after. He was right. You just needed someone to quickly open the jar for you and then you’d be back in your apartment, secluded from society until the next morning when you went into work. Besides, you’d been in your apartment for roughly three months now and you didn’t have a relationship with any of your neighbors. You figured now was as good a time as any to at least meet the person who lived directly across from you.

You slide on your slippers and clear the few steps it takes to reach your neighbor’s door. A faded ‘41’ was on their door, and a cheeky mat that read, ‘Did you call first?’ was at your feet.

You tried racking your brain for any memory of what your neighbor may look like, but you were drawing a blank. You were more to yourself than you initially thought you were and made a silent vow to become more social from this point on. You situate the jar of pasta sauce under your arm before placing two firm knocks against the door. Moments later, the door is flung open and you’re met with the smell of something delicious cooking, and a handsome, tall man donning a dirty apron.

“Hi, is everything alright?” he has a concerned look on his face as he looks over the top of your head and into your apartment.

“I— This is a little embarrassing,” you mumble, feeling your body grow warm. “I live by myself and I’ve been trying to get this jar of pasta sauce open for at least twenty minutes and I can’t. Do you think you can?”

His mouth slowly turns upwards into a smile before finally nodding, reaching out his hand to grab the jar of pasta sauce from you. “It’s pasta night at your place too, hmm?” His tongue is poked out of the corner of his mouth as he focuses on the task at hand.

“Yeah,” you reply. “I’m just gonna heat up the entire jar of sauce, boil some spaghetti noodles, and call it a night.”

The pop! of the jar causes you to jump slightly. “That doesn’t sound like very good pasta.”

You retrieve the pasta sauce from him, quietly thanking him. “It gets the job done.”

Your neighbor hums in agreement. “‘M sure it does. If you ever wanna taste some really good pasta though, y’know where I’ll be.”

“I do,” you nod. “Well, thank you again. I’ll let you go back to making your pasta sauce that is just way better than mine.”

He lets out a loud laugh. “I appreciate it. It wasn’t any problem at all, I’m here most evenings if you ever need help opening anything else, uh…” He trails off.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N. Beautiful name. I’m Harry, by the way.”

You look down at the dirty hallway carpet, a wide smile on your face. “Thank you, Harry. It was nice to finally meet you, by the way.”

“You too. Have a good night.”

You give him one more smile before turning on your heels and walking back inside your apartment, gently shutting the door. You quickly look out the peephole and catch him just as he’s closing his door, a dimpled-grin on his face.

It was Friday night when you finally got the chance to speak with him again. You were sitting on your kitchen stool nursing a glass of wine and waiting for your frozen pizza to heat in the oven when you heard someone coming down the hallway. As you had been doing all week since your interaction with Harry, you set your glass of wine down and shuffle over to your peephole, eyes scanning the small amount of hallway that was visible.

Harry comes into view seconds later, four overflowing bags of groceries precariously balanced along the length of his arms.

“Fuck.” You hear him mutter to himself. He attempts to reach in his pocket for his keys but once he realizes he can’t do so without setting at least one bag of groceries down, he lets out a loud huff in what you assume to be annoyance. You scuttle to your shoe rack and slip your shoes on before quickly flinging your door open.

“Hi! Need help?”

Harry jumps and you both watch as the contents of the bag he was getting ready to set down spill at his feet. “Now I do,” he’s already picking his groceries off the floor. “You scared the shit out of me. Also, were you watching me?”

Your face grows warm. “I heard someone coming down the hallway so I wanted to see who it was.”

“Oh, really?” Harry questions, pausing to look up at you. “You came out of your place so quickly, felt like I was bein’ watched or something.”

You know he’s teasing you but you can’t help but feel a little embarrassed that he caught onto what you were doing so quickly. Instead of dignifying his statement with an answer, you bend down and begin helping him pick up his spilled groceries. His hand grazes yours lightly as you both reach for a can of black beans, now slightly dented. It lingers for a moment before he retracts it to retrieve a different item. A quick, side-eyed glance reveals that his cheeks are tinged red.

“What are you making for dinner?” You ask him, standing up and dusting off the knees of your leggings.

“Uh, veggie chili. S’one of my favorites–– hey, is something burning?”

Your eyes widen and you abruptly turn away from Harry without so much as a goodbye, hurrying toward your kitchen that was starting to grow foggy from smoke produced by your oven. You were so preoccupied with helping Harry gather up his spilled groceries that you had totally forgotten you had a frozen pizza in the oven and if the smell was any indication of its current state, it was most likely inedible at this point.

Reaching for the oven mitt you kept next to the knives on the counter, you open the oven and fan the smoke out of your face, holding back a gag from the burnt smell. Your fire alarm immediately goes off once you open the oven and Harry appears a second later, a concerned look on his face. He looks around for your smoke detector and once he sees it he stands on his tiptoes to turn it off. You set your now blackened pizza on top of the oven and turn on the microwave fan. Harry’s already opening windows around your apartment, fanning the air with a throw pillow from your couch.

“Thanks,” you mumble, a wave of embarrassment washing over your body. You feared that Harry probably thought you were the most incompetent person on this planet–– first, you couldn’t get a jar open, and now here you are nearly setting your apartment on fire. “Guess I should’ve set a timer, huh?”

“Yeah, ‘spose you should’ve,” he replies. “It’s okay, though. ‘M about to get started on dinner, you can join me? If you’d like, that is. Maybe you’ll have a new recipe so you can stop eatin’ all this frozen shit.”

“Leave my frozen foods out of this,” you playfully scold him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Thank you for the invite though, that would be great, actually. I’m gonna get this cleaned up and then I’ll be right over?”

“Sounds good,” he neatly situates your pillow back on the couch. “I’ll see you in a bit, Y/N. Door will be unlocked.”

Once Harry’s gone, you move into action, quickly tossing the pizza into the trashcan before running to your bathroom. You try to remember if you brushed your teeth earlier that day but you can’t, so you brush them again just to be safe. You hastily examine yourself in the mirror before deciding you weren’t going to do anything more, not wanting to come off as trying too hard. You were almost one hundred percent certain Harry was just being neighborly–– nothing indicated that he found you attractive, so you didn’t want to make it too obvious that you found him to be the most stunning man you’ve ever seen in your life.

Locking your door, you clear the distance from your welcome mat to his in five steps flat, and take a deep breath before letting yourself in.

It didn’t take long for you to realize that Harry had more skill in the kitchen than an everyday home-chef did. He all but floated around the room, chopping with ease and finesse. The two of you had settled into a comfortable silence as he worked and you watched. Billy Joel played softly over his Bluetooth speaker, and he’d occasionally stop what he was doing to take a sip of his wine and look over his shoulder at you, almost as if he was checking if you were still there because you were being so quiet.

Your head was starting to grow fuzzy as you finished your third glass of wine that night, so you make the (responsible) decision to cut yourself off for the night. “Can I have a glass of water?”

“Course y’can,” he replies quietly, not stopping what he was doing. “Give me just a second and I’ll get ya––”

“Oh, I can get it myself. Just tell me where the cups are.”

Harry stops chopping and turns completely to face you, an amused look on his face. “You’re plastered, aren’t ya?”

“No? Why do you think that?”

Harry laughs. “You can’t hear yourself stumblin’ over your words, but I can. Jus’ stay right there and I’ll get your water. You want ice?”

“How do you know how to cook so well?”

“Culinary school,” he responds coolly. “Ice?”

You’re not sure if you are as drunk as Harry says you are, but you were currently finding the fact that Harry went to culinary school the coolest thing ever. “A chef? No way! What kind of chef?”

“I’m a Sous Chef. Gonna give ya a bit of ice.”

“I can’t believe I live across from a chef! No wonder you were giving me shit for eating canned pasta sauce,” you take the glass of water from Harry’s outstretched hand, thanking him. “Even your water tastes better than mine!”

“I think you’re just pissed, Y/N,” Harry responds, eyes crinkled from smiling. “Do y’like cooked carrots?” Your nose wrinkles in response to Harry’s question and he mutters something about how he’ll leave them out before turning back towards the stove to check on his food.

“How old are you, Harry?”

“Just turned twenty-seven. Yourself?”

“I’m twenty-four!” You exclaim, a little too excited. “Where are you from?”

He turns to look at you, eyebrow raised. “England. What gave it away?”

“Your accent.”

He hums, a small smirk on his lips. “Where are you from?”

“I’m from here. Just moved back home from my college town but didn’t wanna move back in with my parents, so here I am.”

“No roommates, you said?”

“Nope,” you pop the ‘p’, taking a big gulp of water. “You don’t either, do you? I just realized I haven’t heard or seen anyone else since I’ve been here.”

“I do not. I had a roommate when I first moved in but he ended up gettin’ engaged and moving in with his fiancée, so it’s just me for now. I think I like livin’ on my own better, though.” You watch as Harry reaches into his cabinet and retrieves two bowls and starts spooning your dinner into them. He sets the bowl in front of you and hands you a spoon, nodding at you to try it.

You bring a spoonful up to your mouth, blowing a few times before shoving it into your mouth. Your eyes widen at the amazing flavor that fills your mouth, and your eyes diverge to his. “This is incredible!”

Harry looks down at his bowl of food, a shy grin on his face. “Thanks, Y/N. Glad you like it.” He grabs his glass of wine from behind him and moves around to the other side of the island to sit next to you.

“Are you a vegetarian?” You ask, mouth full.

“Somewhat. I’m a pescatarian,” he shovels a spoonful of the chili into his mouth. “More wine?”

“I better not,” you reply, mind still fuzzy from all you’ve drunk throughout the night. “This is seriously so good, Harry. You’re cute, you can cook, you’re nice… you’re like, a triple threat!”

“Callin’ me cute?”

“C’mon, you know you are,” you answer boldly. “I’m just stating the obvious.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” he takes a sip of wine. “You’re a pretty big looker yourself.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“You flirted with me first.”

“So what if I did?”

Harry lets out a quiet scoff, going back to eating his food. After a moment he says, “I wouldn’t mind.” You smile to yourself and continue eating, bringing the bowl up to your lips and tipping your head back so you could get every last drop of Harry’s veggie chili. He gets up to get another helping of food as you get up to place your bowl in the sink, lifting your sleeves to wash it.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says as he brushes past you, going back to where he was previously seated. “I’ll clean up later. Do y’want some dessert?”

“I think I will take some more wine,” you grab the bottle from the center of the island along with your glass, pouring a generous amount. “This is good. Nothing like the cheap bottles I get from Target.”

“I’m glad you like it. Thought I’d pull this one out tonight, always pairs well with dishes like this…” He trails off. “Anyway, yeah. Glad y’like it.”

You and Harry finish off the bottle of wine no more than thirty minutes later, having by now situated yourselves on his couch. He turned something onto the television (you think it was Iron Chef), but neither one of you were paying any attention to it. Harry was asking about what you studied in college, how you like your current career and your favorite things to do in your free time. You were asking him about England, his family back home, and why he chose to go to culinary school.

He has a way about him that captivates you— just completely pulls you in— and you never want to stop listening to him speak. Harry leans close to you when you talk, almost as if you’re telling him a secret that he doesn’t want to miss out on.

“I think ‘m jus’ as drunk as you are now,” Harry whispers, letting out an adorable giggle. “Goin’ into work tomorrow is gonna be a proper pain.”

“No one told you to try and outdrink me!” You yell, tucking your knees under your bottom. “Now we’re both drunk, what good does that do?”

“Think it’s more fun this way, don’t you?” Harry lets out a little burp, his face flushing. “Wanna help me clean the kitchen?”

“What happened to cleaning it later?” You stand up from the couch, wobbling slightly before catching your balance.

“Well, I didn’t think we’d get drunk off our arses and sit here talkin’ til one in the mornin’, did you?” He stands up as well, his hand moving to rest on the small of your back as he scooches past you.

“There’s no way it’s that late,” you retort, checking the time on your phone. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to overextend my stay. I’ll help you clean this place up and then get going.”

Harry swats a hand in front of his face, shaking his head. “Overextend your stay? Of course y’didn’t, more than happy to have you here. Do you wanna wash or dry?”

“I’ll wash since I don’t know where anything goes.” You move to the sink and roll up your sleeves, moving the small number of dishes in the sink all to one side so you can fill the other side with water. Silence falls over you again as you clean the dishes from dinner and soon enough you’re done, drying your hands on your t-shirt.

“Thank you, Y/N. We make a good team, huh? Got that done quickly, didn’t we?” He folds the dishtowel in half neatly and hangs it over the handle of his oven.

“Yeah,” you yawn, slipping on your shoes that had been discarded earlier in the night by the door. “I’ll get out your hair and let you get to bed, then. Thank you for having me over and for cooking that delicious dinner, I enjoyed it. I owe you.”

“If it’s frozen food, don’t worry about it,” he jokes, moving to open the door for you. “If you want to cook me something, though…”

“How about I take you out for dinner? I stay out of the kitchen, and you’ll get something edible and halfway decent. A win-win?”

Harry laughs. “‘M lookin’ forward to it. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“I couldn’t decide between Italian or sushi but since you’re a pescetarian, I figured sushi was our best bet.”

Harry looks away from the menu and at you, clearing his throat before speaking. “That was really thoughtful. Surprised you remembered considering how loaded you were.”

“For the last time, I was not that drunk,” you defend yourself, gently kicking his calf from underneath the table. “By the end of the night, you had way more than me!”

“Maybe so,” he replies nonchalantly, looking back at the menu. “Let’s not forget who can handle their alcohol better, though.”

You let out an indignant hmph, and get to scouring the menu yourself. You didn’t eat sushi very often so you figured you’d probably just get whatever Harry got.

“Let’s do sake bombs.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Sake bombs? Are you tryin’ to get me drunk again?”

“They’re fun! Just one?”

Harry shakes his head at you and grins before waving over the waitress, asking her politely for two sake bombs. She comes back a few minutes later with the alcohol and chopsticks balanced precariously on a tray, setting them in front of you and Harry respectively.

The waitress stands back and says, “Ichi… ni… san… sake bomb!” The two of you pound the table until your shot glasses fall into the cup and then you throw your heads back, chugging down the cocktail. When you finally finish chugging your drink and look back up at Harry, he’s staring at his watch as if he’s been waiting for you to finish for ages.

“Oh, you’re finally done? I was startin’ to grow old,” he teases, taking a sip of his water. “Do you know what you wanna order?”

“You’re annoying,” you reply, narrowing your eyes at him. “But I’m gonna get whatever you get.”

“Really? You don’t have any preferences?”

You shake your head. “I don’t eat sushi very often so I honestly don’t know what I should get. I’ll try anything, though.”

“You really did pick this place just for me, didn’t you?” He has a teasing tone to his voice, but his gaze has softened.

“I told you I owed you, didn’t I?”

At this, Harry just gives you a small smirk and signals the waitress over once again to order for the both of you. While you wait for your food to come, you fall into easy conversation with Harry again. It seems like you can talk about anything under the sun with him–– no topic was off-limits, and nothing was awkward. He had to have been one of the most interesting people you’ve ever met in your life. He was well-traveled, knew several languages, and loved to sing and write music in his spare time. Although you felt your own life was rather boring in comparison to his, he made you feel just as accomplished and interesting as he was.

“That was good,” he tells you after you’ve both finished eating, wiping his mouth with his napkin and slouching in his chair slightly. “Think ‘m gonna need to unbutton my pants here in a second.”

“Me too,” you answer with a laugh, making eye contact with the waitress. You mouth, ‘check, please’ and she nods, reappearing at your table with the check. As you’re digging in your purse to pull out your wallet, Harry reaches over and grabs the check before you can even look at it. He reaches in his pants pocket for his wallet and slides his card in before you’ve even looked back up.

“What are you doing?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Did you forget that I’m the one that owes you?” He shrugs.

“You can make it up to me another way. Don’t worry about it,” his voice is low and gravelly. The waitress comes back to collect the check from Harry and after he receives his receipt, he reaches into his wallet to place a cash tip for her on the table. “Ready to get home?”

Home. You know he only worded it that way because you live directly across from him, but you would like going “home home” with Harry, at least for tonight. There was no denying the sexual tension between the two of you was electric–– anyone who was paying attention to the two of you could probably sense it. You wordlessly nod and follow Harry out of the restaurant, intertwining your fingers with his when he holds his hand back for you to grab.

He stands on the curb and expertly hauls a cab, opening the door and gesturing your in ahead of him. Harry’s hand moves to rest on your leg as he makes small-talk with the taxi driver, asking him if he was having a busy night and how much longer he thought he’d be out for. Harry pays the cab fare and wishes the driver a good rest of his night before all but dragging you out of the taxi.

“What’s got you in such a rush?” You ask Harry, a teasing

“Oh? Did I misread the situation? I thought–– this is embarrassing, never mind…” his tight grip loosens on your hand but you pull him back into you, laughing at how adorable he was.

“Harry! I’m joking, I know what’s going on,” you rub your thumb across the top of his. “I was just messing with you.” You see him visibly let out a sigh of relief.

“Don’t mess with me like that, Y/N!” You’re still standing outside of your apartment complex in the dark, as close to one another as you can be without completely melting into each other. He releases his hand from your tight grip and places it gently on your face instead. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“Please,” you reply breathlessly, standing on your toes. Harry cranes his neck to meet your lips and presses them to yours softly, pulling back only when the both of you are near gasping for air.

“Was that nice?” He asks, thumb caressing your face. Your noses are pressed together and you just nod, still too breathless to speak. “Maybe we can take this inside, then?”

Once inside Harry’s apartment, he nearly rips off the new shirt you bought specifically for your date with him, discarding it by his door.

“Careful with that,” you mutter, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I just got that today. Tag is still onnit.”

You feel Harry laugh into the side of your neck, walking your backward towards his couch. “I’ll cover the cost if it’s ruined then, how’s tha’?”

Harry sucks harshly on your neck, causing you to let out a low moan. “I guess that’s fine.”

“That’s fine?” Harry mocks you, guiding you onto the coach. You hum in agreement as you sink further down into the couch, letting out a sigh of bliss as he peppered kisses along your breast.

Your movements are needy— desperate. Neither one of you were trying to hide how badly you wanted to fuck the other. Harry smashing his lips onto yours once more, his breath warm and tongue salty from all the sushi he had earlier consumed. He attempts to pull his own shirt from his body while not breaking the kiss, and you let out a satisfied hum when he succeeds. Now you’re both shirtless and the only thing stopping you from fucking each other proper is being still fully clothed on your bottom halves.

“Can we get these off?” You ask, tugging at your own bottoms. Harry helps you pull down your tight jeans, struggling slightly to get them off your sweaty legs. Once your jeans are off your underwear follows immediately after, carelessly strewn around the room like the rest of your clothing.

“Y/N…” Harry hungrily takes the sight of your body in, eyes darkening with lust. “You might be the death of me, did ya know that?”

“I do now.”

He sucks on his index and middle fingers and lowers them down to your core, slipping them inside you with ease. You hadn’t realized how wet you were until Harry was knuckles deep, curling his fingers tantalizingly slow inside of you. “Do ya?”

You bite down hard on your lip, nodding at Harry’s rhetorical question. “Obviously.”

He flips the two of you over, so that you’re now straddling him and he’s laying below you. “Take what you want, then–– oh wait, condom?” You nod and move as Harry digs around in his pants, pulling out his wallet.

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys that keeps a condom in their wallet.”

He rips it open with his teeth in one swift motion and unbuckles his pants, giving himself a couple of quick strokes before sliding it on. “What if I am? Was quick and effective, wasn’t it?” He rests his hands on your hips and pulls you back on top of him, connecting his lips with yours again. “Now you can take what you want.”

Your hands move up to grip Harry’s shoulders as you slowly sink onto him, wincing at the stretch and burn an unfamiliar partner sometimes brings. You make eye contact with Harry as you take a moment to adjust to his size, noting how his grip on your hips gets even tighter.

“S’big,” you mutter, rolling your hips slightly. Below you, Harry squeezes his eyes shut. “So big.”

“Tell me how badly you want it.”

“You already know. Don’t feel like being teased.”

Harry juts his hips up to meet you slamming down onto him, groaning out loudly from the pleasure the added motion brings. At one point he situates himself so he’s sitting straight up, using his left hand as a support for him to rest back on while his right hand is tweaking at your nipples. He’s letting out a slew of curse words, letting you know it felt just as good for him as it did for you.

“Ridin’ m’cock so good,” he says under his breath, bringing the hand that was playing with your nipples to rest in between your legs. Whenever you slam back onto him you feel him not only deep in the pit of your stomach but also on your clit, bringing you maximum pleasure. “Don’t be so quiet, let me know when ‘m makin’ you feel good, love.”

“I’m already close,” you admit, feeling a bit embarrassed at how it took Harry doing next to nothing to work an orgasm out of you. Well, not literally–– but it felt like it. “Feel s’good inside me, you’re so big.”

Harry lets out a low moan from your words, throwing his head back in pleasure. It hits the arm of his couch with a quiet thump but his pace doesn’t falter in the slightest. “You’re gonna make me cum if ya keep strokin’ my ego like that.”

“You asked for it,” you reply, changing your move from riding to grinding as you were starting to grow fatigued. “I’m close.” You remove your hands from his shoulders and let them roam the expanse of your body, wanting nothing more than to receive maximum pleasure.

“Can feel ya squeezin’ ‘round me,” Harry says, taking his lip in between his teeth. “Know you’re about to come, pet.”

"Harry..." you warn, your movements growing more desperate and sloppy. You weren't normally a selfish lover but your head was so clouded from pleasure, all you could think about at the moment was your release. Harry leans his head back on the couch again and now uses his two free hands to bring you to orgasm–– one is rubbing circles on your clit and the other one is gripping at your breasts as you use your last bit of strength to swivel your hips on him.

You're coming undone not ten seconds later, loudly moaning out the man's name who laid under you. You don't slow your movements, knowing he was right behind you.

"Y/N, fuck, 'm gonna come-" he lets out a low, guttural moan, coming immediately after announcing it.

The sounds of you trying to steady your breathing are the only sounds that fills the room as you both come down from your respective highs. Harry runs his hands along your bare body, eyes hooded from the orgasm that just wracked his body. As you’re beginning to uncurl yourself from Harry, he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.

“Will you stay the night?”

You didn’t know what sleeping with Harry meant for your relationship going forward, but you were glad you knocked on Apartment 41.

#harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #apartment 41 #thanks for reading!

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