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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

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Bella !! I just realized I submitted a req to the wrong acc 😭😭 by any chance—are you up to writing Drabbles or request for your PWYC series? I just reread it and omg I very much miss our dirty rough and tough biker Bucky ✨😭 anyways! Here is my silly lil request:

Imagine this: reader stumbles across a specific kink, (praise kink, daddy kink, degradation kink, knife kink, chase kink, whatever one you can come up with!) but she’s too nervous to bring it up to Bucky! Though, she forgets that Bucky can feel/sense her emotions through the ✨soulmate bond✨. When Bucky figures it out—he’s a lil pissed/sad that his pretty girl didn’t just tell him. So—he starts to do little things to trigger her new secret kink. He just can’t help it! He loves the way she blushes (when he calls her good girl, does shit with knives, you get it!) But suddenly Bucky can’t take it anymore—he pounces! Next thing ya know our lovely pair of soulmates are screwing!

I know it’s a bit long but I just desperately love this series ! Keep up the great work lovie!! ~🐰🎀

the thrill of it all

pretty when you cry series masterlist

pairing: pwyc!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: 18+ ONLY. smut. chase kink, choking, primal play-ish?. probably forgetting stuff, please let me know if you come across something that should be added.

words: 5.5k

notes: thank you for sending this in, and sorry it took ages. it’s not exactly what you asked for 😓 but i hope you enjoy it! 🖤🖤🖤 i didn’t reread this bc i’m about to pass out but i promised i’d post it tonight so it’s going up rn and i’ll go over it tomorrow to fix anything i think needs fixing lol. fingers crossed it’s cohesive 💀 as always, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated! thank you for reading.

Getting home from the grocery store, you were surprised to find your laptop sitting half open on the table in the kitchen. You remembered you’d been reading on it this morning as you ate breakfast, but you could have sworn you’d shut it when you left. You set the bags down and went to the table, opening the computer the rest of the way. It was still on the story you had been reading earlier and you felt yourself warm up not only at the idea that you left it open so carelessly, but also at the content itself. Smut.

A reader being chased through the woods by her boyfriend who also happened to be a demon. You’d had to leave before you got to the inevitable, the part where he’d stop toying with her and finally catch her. To have his way with her on the forest floor, the moonlight shining down on them as he took her apart.. You were getting flustered just thinking about it.

You’d have been mortified if Bucky had seen it and you were grateful he wasn’t home to have stumbled upon your latest reading material.

It was so…kinky. And you hadn’t talked to him about any of your new self discoveries or ‘interests’ so to speak. You hated it but you were truthfully a little ashamed. Embarrassed. You knew it’d probably be in your best interest to talk to him about it, but you kept talking yourself out of doing so. Convinced yourself that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Though if it wasn’t, why were you so concerned with keeping your fantasies to yourself. If you knew Bucky, you knew he’d want to help you fulfill any fantasy that crossed your pretty little mind, but still the thought of having to bring it up yourself was just too daunting. You were fine just reading your kinky erotica and not having to ask Bucky to act it out with you. Really. Though your occasional daydream about doing just that was popping up more and more frequently, you didn’t bring it up. How weird would it be to tell him you essentially wanted him to hunt you, chase you, pin you down and just completely ravish you…God, the thought of it was getting you hot all over again.

You had closed your laptop and set it aside as you started taking the groceries out of their bags and putting them away. Your eyes went wide as you heard Bucky’s footsteps, the ones you only heard when he wanted you to, coming down the stairs. How long had he been home? And did he happen to have come into the kitchen..did he open your laptop? Immediately you worried that he had at the very least looked at it. You swallowed hard but kept focused on your task, putting the food away where it belonged. You would just wait and see if he said anything, no way you’d bring it up first and make yourself seem suspicious. He came into the kitchen without a word and leaned back against the counter as he watched you put the last few items away, his arms crossed over his wellbuilt chest.

“Hey,” you greeted, throwing him a quick glance over your shoulder. “Thought you said you had a meeting with Stark today?”

“Something came up, we had to reschedule.”

“Oh. So, when’d you get home?” you asked, hoping you sounded nonchalant.

“Not that long ago,” he answered vaguely. You narrowed your eyes at his avoidance of a real answer before you turned around to look at him.

“I didn’t see your bike when I pulled in,” you alluded.

“It’s in the garage. I’m about to give it a tune up.” He kept his eyes on you, his gaze heavy and slightly unnerving. You hummed in response as you stared back, trying to suss out why he was being so weird. There, of course, was an obvious answer, but you wished he’d just come out and tell you what he was thinking.

“You left your laptop down here,” he said, nodding in the direction of where it laid on the table.

“I saw. Did you..were you on it?” you asked, again trying to sound like you didn’t care one way or the other.

He shook his head vaguely as he rubbed the stubble along his jaw.

“Just saw it when I came in earlier,”

You subconsciously let out a breath of relief, nodding at him.

“Why?” he questioned, his eyes never leaving you, even as you looked down. “You hiding something from me, sweetheart?”

Your eyes shot up again at his question. “What?” you laughed nervously. “No.”

He pushed off the counter and started to walk toward you as you stayed in your spot and watched him.

“Good,” he said as he got closer, closing the distance between you. His hands came up to cup your face, taking you by surprise as he suddenly pulled you in for a fervent kiss, eventually breaking it to look you in the eyes again. He kept your face in his hands, forcing you to hold his gaze as your hands found his wrists. “I don’t want you keeping anything from me, got it?”

You swallowed hard before you nodded lightly.

“Got it,” you breathed.

He looked at you a moment longer, his thumbs brushing the soft skin of your cheeks gently before he slipped away. His gaze was even more heated now and you had a renewed sense that he was clearly lying when he said he hadn’t been on your laptop. Why else would he have been acting so weird? Telling you not to keep things from him. He had to have seen something.

You weren’t sure why you were so embarrassed by him finding out about your newly realized kink, but you were. Bucky had seen you at your most vulnerable countless times at this point, in as many compromising positions as you could think of. But you’d never really been entirely comfortable talking about or asking for specific things from him when it came to sex. He certainly loved when you were vocal, crying for him, and he loved hearing you ask him for exactly what you wanted, but you were usually forced to verbalize those things lest he just continue torturing you with tantalizing but unfulfilling touches until you used your words, face hot even as your neediness tried to overpower your mortification. You were still relatively inexperienced and even morso when it came to the kinker side of being intimate.

You really never even thought of yourself as kinky, but since Bucky, you couldn’t deny the dirty thoughts that would run through your head, or the tags you’d go searching through when you’d look for new erotica to read.

You knew in reality that Bucky would love it if you came to him with ideas for things you’d want to try with him, but you just couldn’t get past the embarrassment to bring it up. Hell, you’d only very recently started to even just initiate sex with him and that took a helluva lot to get comfortable with.

It took constant reassurance from Bucky that any time you found yourself getting worked up for him, all you had to do was let him know. Weeks of finding yourself flustered and wanting when you’d catch him working on his bike or on a car in the garage… in the kitchen cooking dinner for you… even just cuddling you tight on the couch... or fresh out of the shower as he was getting ready.. You often forgot he could so easily tell when you were turned on. He could feel the way your heart would flutter and the change in your breathing. He’d shoot you a cocky smirk and you’d go wide eyed and make yourself scarce before he could really call you out on it.

Though half the time he’d catch you before you could get far and you’d find yourself naked and full of him in no time at all, always ending the night with him reminding you that anytime you wanted him all you had to do was ask. It took awhile for you to do so uninhibited, but when he finally pleaded for you to just tell him, you realized not only how badly he needed you to, but also how freeing it felt to not stifle your need for him, either.

That day had been a big eye opener for you, and you thought back on it in vivid and arousing detail as you stood in the kitchen. That was the day you’d realized exactly what it was that got you so worked up. It hadn’t been the first time you’d felt cornered or caught by him, but it suddenly clicked that that was what made certain memories stand out in your mind when you thought back on the most memorable times you’d been intimate with Bucky.

The uninhibited passion. Raw desire for one another. The possession. The chase.

He’d just gotten out of the shower and you were admiring his form as he walked toward the closet while you were folding your laundry across the room. The way his muscles flexed as he moved, looking through his shirts for something to put on, was distracting to say the least. All of him was distracting. He was just so beautiful. You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. That was until you were pulled out of your head by his blue eyes shooting to you as he turned around suddenly. You quickly looked away and finished putting your panties in your drawer before you took the empty basket and made to leave the room. You avoided his eye as he neared you, trying to just go get the next load of your clothes from the dryer and act like you weren’t just ogling him and longing for his attention. He got closer still and stepped right in front of you, blocking you from moving. You took a step back as you found the nerve to look up at him. His eyes were set on you and you couldn’t look away from his heated gaze. You tried to move around him, but he moved insync with you, continuing to block your way. You huffed before trying again, but he followed your steps and this time took the basket from your hands as he threw it to the side. You were taken aback at the swift action, and froze as he took a step closer.

“What are you doing?” you tutted.

He didn’t answer and only took another step toward you, as you took one back. You felt cornered. You felt like prey. You eyed the door and narrowed your eyes at him before you made to run for it. It was futile, you knew it would be, but you screamed none the less as he took you off your feet, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you back against his chest. His lips were near your ear as he spoke, “Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t keep yourself from leaning back into his warmth as you placed your hands over his still holding you. You wanted him even more now, the thrill adding to the desire that was already there. He spun you around and pushed you up against the wall. His eyes were filled with desire, much the same as yours, you were sure.

“Need you to tell me you want me, princess. I need to hear it, I need to hear you say it.” He nuzzled against you as he spoke, keeping you pinned against the wall of your shared bedroom, nothing but his towel on as he stood before you. You nodded softly against him in turn.

“I want you,” you whispered before repeating yourself with more confidence, assuring him, “I want you. Right now.”

He crashed his lips against yours, his hunger for you evident in his kiss. He was going to devour you and you longed for nothing more as he kept you caged against the wall. You continued making out as Bucky pulled at you and removed your clothes in a fit, like he couldn’t get you bare to him fast enough.

He lifted you up and you instinctively wrapped your thick legs around him, your arms winding behind his neck. He carried you effortlessly to the bed where you spent the rest of your afternoon, completely consumed by him.

From then on, you'd made more of an effort in initiating things, and it was nice, you couldn’t lie. Owning your desires and letting Bucky know when you were feeling frisky was kind of empowering. You just weren’t sure you were ready to own and speak aloud your kinkier desires just yet. You were still learning and exploring what you liked on your own, and though you’d occasionally consider talking to Bucky about some of these things, you’d always get shy and end up too nervous to bring it up.

You found yourself almost hoping that he had seen what you were reading and that he’d bring it up so you wouldn’t have to. It wasn’t the most mature way to go about things, but at least you’d get it over with sooner and stop feeling like a teenager trying to hide porn from their parents.

Bucky didn’t make the connection right away. Sure, he’d noticed you would get more turned on when he’d corner you and cage you in, and the times you’d try to avoid him and put on a little game of cat and mouse, you would be damn near dripping for him when he’d finally get his hands on you. But he hadn’t ever put two and two together. It wasn’t until he stumbled upon your laptop you’d left in the kitchen. Was it an invasion of privacy? Maybe. But he was curious as to what you had been doing on it. You’d been glued to the screen all of last night until he was finally getting into bed. Your laptop had snapped shut and you set it on your bedside table in a flash like you’d been waiting for him all night. You crawled over to him the second he sat on the edge of the bed and he was pleasantly surprised when you looked up at him, lust swimming in your eyes as you tentatively moved to palm him through his sweats. He raised an eyebrow at you, his lips parting, but didn’t say anything as he leaned further back onto the bed. You pulled down on the top of his pants and he helped you get them down just enough for his cock to slip out past the waistband.

You wasted no time and took him into your mouth right away, moaning as you felt him stiffen further in your mouth. You took your time pleasuring him, bobbing up and down while twirling your tongue around his length as best you could, his hand fisted in your hair and grunts and curses were falling freely from his lips as you sucked. He almost came before he pulled you off of him and you gave him a pout at the loss, wiping some of the spit off your lips as you looked up at him.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he panted. “Where the hell did that come from? Not that I’m complaining,” he smirked dopily.

You shrugged as you stared up at him, “Just want you.” Your words brought a proud smile to his face and with that he pulled you up and smashed his lips to yours, meanwhile you shimmied off your shorts and panties as quickly as you could while he held you to him.

You were near insatiable last night and he knew whatever it was you’d been doing on your laptop had something to do with it. He could sense you getting flustered even before he’d entered the room, your heart racing faster, a sense of anticipation and excitement taking over you. He’d let it go the first time he noticed, got more curious the second, but after last night, he decided he needed to see what it was that was getting you so worked up, since he knew you wouldn’t be the one to tell him.

It was really just a coincidence that Stark had to reschedule the meeting they had set and he got home early. But one that worked in his favor. You weren’t home and your laptop was just sitting there, like it was begging him to take a look at what was on your screen. It was closed, sure, but easy enough to open.

He typed in the password he knew you used for everything and got in on the first try.

His eyes scanned the text on the screen, trying to get a sense of what exactly you’d been reading. There was another tab open and when he clicked on it, he was brought to a blog page. Your blog page apparently. All the posts were story after erotic story. Just reading the warnings some of them had he quickly realized these were what had been getting you so hot.

There were a lot of kinks littered along your page, but the one that stood out the most was the chase kink. It also appeared the most. And when he thought about it, he wasn’t surprised in the least. Though he was a little disappointed that you felt the need to keep it from him. He was always happy to get kinky with you, and now knowing what you were into, it gave him a few ideas. If you weren’t going to come out and tell him, he’d just get it out of you himself.

He went back to the tab your laptop had been on and sent himself the link to what you’d been reading. He shut the screen but didn’t close it completely as he was distracted by pulling up the page on his phone. He went upstairs to give it a read and figure out what he wanted to do with this new information.

Bucky had been outside working on his bike before he went upstairs for a shower. You had been in the kitchen baking pumpkin bread, making loaf after loaf until the can of pumpkin puree was empty. You figured you could take one to Eva, and maybe bring a couple to the shop for everyone, too. You’d figure it out later, you just wanted to finish up baking them. You were so caught up in mixing the last batch of batter that you didn’t even notice Bucky enter the kitchen until you turned around to grab your wisk, yelping at his unexpected appearance. You placed your hand over your heart as if it would help settle the beating as you steadied your breath.

“Jesus christ, Bucky, why do you do that?” you admonished. He smirked in response.

“You look so cute when you’re all helpless and scared, I can’t help myself.”

You swallowed hard and felt your face grow warm at his words, turning back around to combine the dry ingredients into the wet.

“‘M not helpless,” you argued.

He was behind you in an instant, you gasped at his metal hand on your throat forcing your head back so you could look up at him, eyes wide.

“Aren’t you?” he leered down at you. “Don’t you wanna be? You’ve been keeping secrets from me, pretty girl?” he purred in your ear. “You should know by now I’m always gonna find out what’s going on with you.” You whined pathetically as he tightened his hand around your neck, pulling you closer as he leaned down, your breathing shallow as he kissed your lips, taking advantage of your lips parting again as he flexed his fingers around your throat once more, slipping his tongue inside the warmth of your mouth.

You reached up and grabbed his hair, trying to pull him even closer. His hand slipped from around your neck and slid down your chest, groping your breasts as he breathed into you. His hand drifted lower and made its way under your dress, cold metal grazing the soft skin of your thighs, sending chills up your spine. You moaned into his mouth as he began rubbing at your clothed folds. The sound of the timer going off on the oven made you jump, but Bucky held your waist tight as you reclined into him, his lips moving to your cheek as you breathed deeply.

“I have to get that out,” you breathed as you pushed his hands away from you, reaching for the oven mits before you turned toward the oven. Bucky blocked your way and fixed you with a look.

“Ah-ah,” he tutted. “You’re not gonna get out of this, so might as well talk.”

“Get out of what?” you said, playing dumb. “It’s gonna burn, Bucky, I need to take it out,” you whined.

He turned and opened the oven door, grabbing the loaf pan with his hand.

“Buck,” you gasped before realizing he was using his left hand. “God,” you muttered, shaking your head.

“Worried about me hurting myself, sweetheart?” he teased as he set the pan down on the stove.

“I have to finish this,” you avoided, gesturing to the batter still sitting in the mixing bowl.

“Oh, don’t you worry, princess. We’ll definitely finish this,” he said. You looked up at him from the bowl, biting the side of your tongue in your mouth as he left the room

It was almost two hours later when you’d taken the last loaf out of the oven, the dishes washed and the cooled loaves wrapped, packed, and stored away to give out tomorrow.

You washed your hands, grabbed the load of towels you’d washed earlier from the dryer and headed upstairs.

You entered the bedroom and didn’t find Bucky, but you didn’t think much of it as you went to the bathroom to put the towels where they belong in the cabinet.

As you were on your knees, sliding the folded towels onto the lower shelves, the lights in the bathroom went off.

You bristled at the loss of light and called out into the room, “I’m in here, Bucky!”

No response. You rolled your eyes and got up with a huff. The light switches were by the door leading from the bedroom to the bath so you had to walk across the room to switch them back on. You were stopped in your path as you saw a figure standing across from you in the dark. You screamed in fear at the sight, stumbling back on instinct before your rational mind came back into play.

“Fucking hell, Bucky! It’s not funny,” you cursed. He stayed silent, his face still concealed by the dark, as he took a step to you. You stayed still, breathing heavy as you tried to discern him in the darkness. You pushed past him and got to the door of the toilet, flicking on the switch in there, giving you enough light to see Bucky now.

He kept inching closer and you kept backing away, eyeing him warily. His continued silence was perturbing and the look in his eye was intense and sure.

Every step he took, deliberate. Methodical. Like he was leading you into a trap of some kind.

“Bucky..What are you doing?” you asked. “You’re freaking me out.”

As you made your way back into the bedroom, you realized he had turned the lights off in there, too. “Can you say something, please?!” you snapped. You hadn’t been looking where you were going, and even if you had the light from the bathroom wasn’t giving much of any illumination that far into the bedroom. You tripped over something and only barely caught yourself from falling back on your ass.

“Better watch your step, sweetheart. You’ve read enough scenes like this, I’m sure you know how it goes. One wrong move and it's over. And you wouldn't want it to be over so soon, where's the thrill in that?”

You didn’t know how to respond. You had been pretty sure he’d seen your laptop, but now knowing he really had, you didn’t know what to feel. Though you were thoroughly embarrassed, you were also relieved. And growing more and more excited… He knew and he was playing into it for you already. And he was doing a damn good job, too.

He was nearly on top of you now, backing you into the closed door of your room. You felt that familiar thrill come over you. Your heart picked up speed and you were sure he could tell how aroused you were getting at his predatory gaze.

“Now we both know I can catch you in a heartbeat, so I'm gonna be nice and give you a little head start,”

“What are you-”

“If I were you, princess,” he said as he got closer, your back flush against the door, “I’d run.”

You turned quickly and threw the door open, cursing at the darkness encompassing the whole house. The only light afforded to you were the small night lights at either end of the hall and the candles still burning in the living room down the stairs. As fast as you could without falling, you hurried down the stairs, Bucky’s voice counting down from ten sounding from the bedroom.

You didn’t really think through where you were going, you just went. Instead of heading to the living room, you headed down the hall across from it. You were walking slowly, desperate not to hit your toe on a corner or walk into a wall, the hall pitch black, no lights left on. When you got to the doors leading to the den Bucky mainly used as his office, you saw light coming from inside.

“Boo,” he whispered in your ear just as you moved to reach the handle. You jumped at his voice so close and when you were suddenly pulled back into him, being lifted off your feet as he carried you away from the door, a la texas chainsaw massacre, you shrieked in fear.

“That’s the best you can do? I thought you wanted a chase, pretty girl. Didn’t even try to make it outside. No one else out here but us,” he mused. “Noone’ll hear you scream.”

You were thrashing against him, pushing at his arms, trying with no avail to get him to drop his hold, whimpering as he only tightened his arms around you.

“Mmm,” he hummed against you. “There’s always next time.” He changed his hold on you, lifting your legs into his left arm, holding your back up with his right, essentially cradling you in his arms. You tried to wiggle out of his hold, but he just threw you over his shoulder instead, slapping your ass as he took you to the living room, dropping you unceremoniously onto the couch. The light from the candles glowing and allowing you to see him as he pulled his shirt over his head. The clinking of his belt and the sound of his zipper filled the air as he removed his jeans before he straddled you. You were breathing shallow and you knew you were dripping for him by now as he leaned his face into yours and took your lips into his own, gently nipping your bottom lip before he drifted to your neck. His arms went under you and pulled the zip of your dress down, getting it as much off of you without your assistance as he could. He was impatient and decided to just tear it the rest of the way down the seam as you gasped.

“I’ll get you a new one,” he gruffed as he pulled the sleeves off your arms and threw the dress to the wayside. “You’d forgone a bra, granting him access to your heavy breasts the moment he got the dress off you. His lips descendeded on your pert nipple, his hand squezzing your breast as he pulled and tugged at your other nipple.

“Buck,” you moaned, your hands flitting through his hair, his stubble tickling your sensitive skin. You spread your legs around him and he ground down against you, his hard length throbbing through his underwear. You tugged at his boxers before he pulled away from you to get them down the rest of the way. He tore your own off and before you could complain, kissed your sweet spot and murmured, “Sorry, princess.”

His lips traveled back up your neck before landing on your lips again, tasting you as you parted your mouth for him, wrapping your leg around his waist and whining at the lack of contact you felt.

“Tell me what you want,” he said. You huffed in annoyance but knew you’d have to answer to get what you wanted.

“Want you to fuck me,” you pleaded.

“Whatever you say,” he smiled against your skin.

He took his cock in his hand and ran his tip along your wet slit, spreading your slick around and rubbing himself against your puffy clit, eliciting a moan from you. He teased you for a bit before he slid his tip inside of you. Your eyes closed in pleasure. “Feel good, baby?” he asked.

You nodded fervently as his lips returned to your neck. “More,” you pleaded, your fingers pulling at his hair. He pushed further into you and groaned at the feeling of your silky walls gripping him tight. He rolled his hips against you, setting a rhythm as he rocked into you repeatedly. His cock was rubbing against you in the most delicious way and he was stimulating your clit with his every move. Moans falling from you both as he fucked into you. His hand found your hip as he held you down into the couch, thrusting up into you harsher and harsher the closer he got to his release. The way he was pounding into you had you sliding up the couch with each powerful thrust.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned into your ear as he held himself up above you, his rhythm faltering ever so slightly. The hand he had on your hip traveled to your clit and he expertly rolled it with perfect pressure as you cried out at the heat building hotter and hotter in your core. You felt your body tense as he slid against your g-spot repeatedly.

“Always so fucking tight, goddamnit,” he cursed, fucking you harder. You were unintelligible as you moaned and mewled at the pressure growing until you finally came undone around him. “Fuck,” he roared near your ear, burrying his face in your neck as he let himself go right after you.

You whimpered as his hips stuttered against you, your arms wrapping around him as he laid his weight down on top of you, placing soft kisses along your neck. You were breathing heavy as you ran your hands up and down his back, his weight a comfort as you shut your eyes.

Bucky pulled out of you gently, grabbing tissues off the coffee table to clean you and himself. He sat back on the couch and pulled you against him, kissing your head.

“I need you to know, sweetheart. You don’t need to keep anything from me. Ever. Especially stuff like this. I just want to make you happy. I want to make you feel good.”

“I know,” you murmured. “You know you’re the only person I've ever been with. I just - I didn't know how to approach it. I guess really I was just embarrassed. Maybe a little ashamed. I’d never..even thought about any of this stuff,” you laughed nervously. “It feels..dirty?”

“It’s a kink, princess. They’re pretty common. You’re not fucked up for wanting to be chased around before you fuck. It’s just a turn on, doesn’t say anything about your morality.”

You leaned your head against him as he rubbed your arm.

“You come across any other kinks you wanna try, you just let me know. You know I’ll do anything for you, pretty girl.”

You smiled softly at that. You knew he would, but it was always nice to hear him remind you of that fact.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He tilted your chin up so you were looking at him. “I love you,” he told you, leaning down to kiss you softly.

“That was pretty hot,” he said when he pulled away. “We’re definitely going outside next time.” You couldn’t help but smile, a small laugh leaving your lips as you looked at him. “I love you,” you replied, hand coming up to stroke his cheek. “‘M tired,” you mumbled. He lifted you up as effortlessly as ever and moved to carry you up the stairs.

“If you drop me, I swear to god,” you warned him, earning a laugh in return.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”

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hanasnx · 6 months

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some updates while i’m here. i miss you! whether you’re a casual enjoyer of my blog & i see you in my notes, or my mutuals, or my followers, i’ve been thinking of you :) rare vulnerable moment i do cherish this blog and all your well wishes. thank you very much. i was right, typing is a huge strain and taking a break has been very good for my hands, so i’m going to keep at it.

some things:

don’t be afraid to keep sending me asks! they’re a great joy to me, i love seeing a notif in the inbox. i’ve gotten a fair few already that i’m excited to respond to when i can come back.

i did post a fred weasley drabble and not that i have to explain myself but i wanted to say i’ve been watching the harry potter movies. i’ve never seen them in their entirety, and the earlier ones have always been christmas movies in my house so to speak so i figured id give them a fair shot. i did read the books, and i’ve seen bits and pieces of the movies (hence my interest in fred weasley when i was a tween, but seeing him again made me wanna write for him for the first time in years)

also! a very kind anon told me earlier that my response to someone wrongfully making an ai chat bot of my content was an overreaction. it was “not that deep,” i believe was the colloquial term used. so the inherent content theft of ai invading free creative spaces is solved everyone! well done! very special thanks to the anon that let me know i was overreacting towards something i am passionate about and had a strong feeling towards! wow :) i never would’ve seen it like that. genuinely i am sorry anon that you’re ugly irl and your mommy doesn’t love you, which is why you feel like you can’t have a backbone over certain things. maybe you should stop consuming the free content creators provide on tumblr because you feel so secure in criticizing the selfless service <3 it’s giving: “im an old bigot that thinks ppl must be talentless and stupid when they work at mcdonald’s, but i��m still going to eat the food from there.” you’ve been blocked btw so you’re not offended by my use of free will when making free content on the internet for your grubby little hands to get a hold of and your smooth brain to criticize my right to share my personal opinions.

because the internet is the way it is, getting “hate” online has never really bothered me since i’ve always been a person with a large enough platform for years. it’s very easy for me to ignore and block and never answer whoever has decided to send some worthless hate message. which is probably why i almost never get hate anymore but it does happen occasionally. this was different since it wasn’t an attack on me per se, more so someone trying to admonish me for having a fair reaction towards something offensive. so i’m here to tell you it’s alright to treat strangers on the internet as strangers. you’re allowed to reinforce boundaries. you’re allowed to tell people you do not appreciate their actions towards you, and don’t leave room for argument. i am a very direct person, which means i told that person firmly that they needed to delete that ai chat bot they made of my au without my consent. and i did it without remorse. and i was told “it wasn’t that deep.” well it was. and it is. it is that deep because it’s deep to me, and i know it’s something that happens to others and it is that deep to them too. so what’s the problem in it being that deep? there is none :) let things be deep. be sincere. it is very important.

also if you make ai chat bots without creator’s consent when using their content you’re a piece of shit and doing a disservice to the very person you’re trying to exalt. take a step back and reevaluate how ai harms your interests rather than progresses them as well as the creators you claim your respect and cherish. you’re a victim of propaganda, my friend! and i prolly wouldn’t have made this post if anon hadn’t said anything. so maybe they should’ve kept their mouth shut since they didn’t wanna see shit like this so bad lmfao

now that that’s out of the way, i am sending wet fat sloppy kisses to everyone’s lips tell me when you receive them

#fuck ai #indy lore #updates #tw vent

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ankhmutes · 11 months

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A Charming Journey Home (Part 5)

Okay, I just had to put this up just because. the rest of the story is below, but just because. Nothing that anyone would find untoward in this chapter I believe but better to be safe than sorry?

“T & M Automotive.”

“Can y’all look at my Jeep? It ain’t running right again.” you said with an annoyed huff, leaning on the bar, making sure your boobs were on display appropriately. You needed all the tips you could get. This crowd opened wallets the more you showed boob.

“Uh- sure. Cherokee, right?” the voice at the other end asked..

“Yep, that’s the one. I’ll go pop the hood for y’all.” you say with a nod as you make some noises of affirmation, watching some men in the back party room that you were pretty sure had been the ones talking from earlier. They were wearing leathers, but no sign of any cut, or anything. You knew the boys would know who they were the minute they popped up. You went out to the parking lot and put on the best show you had in you of having a broken down jeep and knowing shit what to do with cars, when in reality you were a mechanic’s daughter and knew how to rebuild the son of a bitch.

“Can we help ya, sweetheart?” one of the men that had been eyeing you asked. You smiled and shook your head, playing stupid. You knew he was with that crowd that you had heard talking about the Sons, and you didn’t want to get mixed up with them. Sure, you could milk him, but you didn’t want him recognizing you or anything at all associated with the Sons.

“I just called the first thing I saw on the board. Someone put up a business card. I got lucky.” you said as you poured on your best southern accent, talking as close to Dolly Parton as you could without sounding tacky. “Some guy said they would send someone over.”

“Well little lady, if you want some help, we’re always happy to help you.”

“Thanks, you’re a real gentleman, I’m sure.” You said as your phone rang, and you waved a cute goodbye wave, not wanting to piss him off. “Gotta take this, sorry.”

“Gemma said your jeep ain’t working?” Chibs asked, getting right to the point and not bothering with a hello.

“Nothing I can’t handle, but… I think it’s something you and Tiggy need to listen to.” you said with a sharp huff. “I heard some funny things coming from its downstairs, and … something ain’t right so figured I’d find someone who could take a look at it, ya know… “ you hoped Chibs could pick up on what you meant, since you could feel your anxiety bearing down on you, making everything heavier, faster, just MORE. You ignored the fact that you didn’t know how Chibs got your number.

“I’m on my way darlin’.”

“Just come on in the back, ya know where the back patio is?” you asked, explaining to the boys where the alley entryway was, you didn’t want anyone to see them. Your heart in your throat, you waited for the T & M truck to arrive with some men you didn’t recognize, and you had them “repair” your car right in the parking lot and then leave with the car, telling you that there were a lot of issues with the car and it had to be taken back to the shop, stranding you without a car.

“It was just a spark plug, silly me.” you said to the men at the bar, their eyes watching you with mild interest, as you refilled their drinks and took orders. You had hoped they hadn’t seen them take away your jeep as you made sure you were still quite lovely and approachable, walking back to the kitchen, dropping off their orders and then sliding back into the storeroom and opening the door that led to the patio where Tig and Chibs stood.

“Boys, I’d love to do this another time, but let’s just focus on business.” you said as the Irish slid into your words. “I gotta play Daisy Duke, but figured you’d want to listen in. c’mere down here- you can hear everything. I can’t stay, but figured y’all would want to hear it.” you whispered as quietly as you could, leading Tig and Chibs down into the storeroom and showed them the corner where you could hear everything in the party room, arranging some boxes and handing them some pint glasses. They appeared vaguely surprised, not quite expecting this turn of events. “Believe me, I wasn’t expecting this either.”

You moved back up outside, chatting up the cook and other workers, making sure to act as normal as you did. You didn’t want to set anything off. You took the orders around, filled drinks, and then the big back room’s order was ready. You took the trays and took your time, walking in carefully.

“I got your drinks, boys…” you made sure to ask for names, getting as much information as you could from them, about who they were, playing it dumb and innocent, putting on your best Daisy Duke persona. “Oh that’s really wonderful, I know this place up near Sacramento…” you said after someone commented about taking you somewhere. “It ain’t too far from here is it?” you feigned newness, not knowing the area at all.

The group eventually left, and you got a hefty tip, probably because you had worn the right T-shirt today, and your Daisy Dukes. Putting the money in your shorts, you went back down to fetch the boys once you were sure the last associate of anyone in that bar room had left.

“Here’s the room they were in, complete with everything. So y’all can kinda see…whatever I can’t see.” you said as you ushered Tig and Chibs in, making sure no one could see their vests, walking right up behind them. You watched them whisper quietly and make phone calls, pointing out various things. You were glad you had chosen to stay out of the politics of it all, just knowing when to blow the whistle. “Fuck, sweetheart,and you’re okay?” Tig asked, his blue eyes soft as he wrapped you in a hug. You exhaled a long sigh, shaking your head as you let the anxiety take you over, your body trembling and shivering.

#ankhmutes writes something #tig trager #chibs telford #chibs x reader #tig trager x reader #tiggy #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #a charming journey home

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veneramdecorem · 28 days

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I stole my best friends crush

There I sat sheltered away from the storm shivering cold & wet. I crossed my arms in front of my chest to hide my soaking white shirt & everything underneath it. I put my head in my lap feeling defeated then I heard his voice. “You need all hand?” I look up & see none other than our schools newest student & “bad boy” standing right before me. I had seen glimpses of him from far away & it seemed like every girl at school was obsessed with him(understandably so) including my best friend Chloe. His dark hair now wet from the rain sat messily over his face. It was hard not to get lost in his blue eyes especially with a gaze like that. Realizing I hadn’t said a word & was just staring at him the whole time he chuckles. “Here take this” before I can say anything he slides off his hoodie over his head. As he’s trying to pull it over his head his shirt underneath gets stuck to his jacket revealing his very defined lower abs & a small tattoo right on his hip. Before I can figure out what it is he pulls his shirt down & hands over his hoodie. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” I say as i take it in my hands. “No problem” i slide it over my head & start to stand up. Even after standing he still manages to tower over me. I can feel my body get hot & the hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up as he leans closer to me he reaches over my head to pull the hood of his jacket over me. “Ready?” He says, Before I’m able to say anything he reaches down to grab my hand & pull me back out into the storm. We run across a couple streets and a parking lot & I can’t help but laugh because this is the most ridiculous thing to do with a stranger I just met. Once we get inside main school building we’re both laughing. He looks into my eyes immediately it sends shivers down my spine. I couldn’t understand why he made my body react the way it did it didn’t make sense. He was making me feel things I had never felt before just by looking into my eyes. But it was something about his gaze paired up with his smile that my body weak. “I’m Rowan by the way I’m sorry I should’ve introduced myself earlier.” “No it’s okay, I’m Aura” i extended my hand out to shake his. When his hand met mine there it was again electric. “AURA!” I quickly turned to see Chloe standing behind me along with our other 2 friends Amelia & Harper. She walks over to us “Hi Rowan, you’re coming to my party tonight right?” Chloe says before I can even say anything else. I quickly try to snap myself back to reality remembering Chloe had been crushing on Rowan. It was hard to ignore the feelings I just felt a couple seconds ago but I couldn��t tell Chloe that. “Yeah totally are you going to be there?” Rowan says as he turns to look at me. “Uhhh um yeah, yeah we’re all going to be there Chloe, Amelia, Harper & I” i said nervously as I saw Chloe’s expression turned to confusion from the corner of my eye. “Okay great I can’t wait then” says Rowan “Yeah I can’t wait to see you there Rowan, it’s going to be fun” says Chloe before I can say anything. “Okay cool” says Rowan as he starts to back away & disappear into the Hallway. “What was that about?” Says Chloe to me, “Nothing what do you mean?” i say nervously “Oh my god…are you wearing his jacket?” Fuck. I had completely forgotten about the jacket. Amelia Gasps “Holy shit Aury didn’t know you had it in you” says Harper. “No No it’s not what you think I just didn’t have anything to cover me from the rain he offered” I spat out. “Um okay” Chloe said puzzled. “I have to go I’m going to be late for something I’ll see you tonight!” I said as I stumbled out of there. I rushed down the hall as i felt my face getting hot from embarrassment. I brushed off my skirt from the rain & continued to walk until I couldn’t see them anymore. I slowed down & then I heard something “Aura” the feeling i felt in my stomach told me everything I needed to know…it was Rowan again.

pt 2 coming

#fan fiction #fan fic ideas #romance

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ailendolin · 1 year

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Whump Wednesday - 54 - BBC Ghosts

Title: Starving [AO3]

Characters: Fanny, Thomas, Nigel and Jemima

Prompt: Fanny used to love to sing but can't bring herself to anymore thanks to her mother and George. - Prompt sent in by the lovely @magicaltear.

A/N: This is set in the same universe as my fic The Club . It's not necessarily to have read it to understand this one but it provides some context for how the Singing Club started. There are also some spoilers for series 4.

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Starving

The last thing Fanny expected at the end of that very long day was for Thomas to ask her to join a Singing Club she hadn’t even known existed.

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping,” he said as they happened to be walking back to their respective rooms together, exhausted and ready to get some rest after spending the last few hours trying to come up with the right way to apologise to Alison. “But it seems to me that you actually wanted to participate in our Sorry Song earlier …”

He turned to her with those large, expressive eyes of his, leaving the sentence hanging with an inquisitive look on his face. Fanny lifted her chin a little higher and steeled her face to sell a lie. “I did not. I’m not even sure that … abomination of yours can even be called a song.”

“And yet you knew the words when Kitty faltered,” Thomas pointed out, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Because I was subjected to them for hours, Thomas,” Fanny said with an air of exasperation. “Anyone would remember the lyrics after that.”

Thomas looked down at the floor for a moment before he sighed softly, almost as if he was disappointed. “Well, for what it’s worth: I’m glad you took part in it even if the song didn’t end up working in our favour. And if you ever feel like singing again, you’re more than welcome to join our Singing Club.”

“Singing Club?” Fanny asked, feeling intrigued despite herself. “I wasn’t aware that Pat had organised one.”

“Oh no, sorry, it’s not an official club. I should have said that,” Thomas hurried to explain with an apologetic smile. “It’s just something Nigel, Jemima and I started a while ago. We get together two or three times a week in Jemima’s pantry and sing together. Nothing fancy, just … simple songs. Folk songs and the like, you know?”

His lips pulled up into a soft smile and his gaze grew a little distant as he remembered something Fanny was not privy to. There was a fondness in his eyes that she would have never expected him to feel towards Jemima and NIgel of all people, and it suddenly hit her that he looked happier in that moment than she had seen him in a very long time. It reminded her of a time, long ago now, when something as simple and common as music had brought a similar joy to her as well.

Feeling her heart begin to ache with sudden longing, Fanny firmly pushed those thoughts away. “I see.”

Thomas blinked as if waking from a dream. His smile shifted from soft to self-conscious and he fiddled with his hands as he so often did when he was nervous.

“You don’t have to join us, of course,” he said quietly, looking down at his restless hands rather than meeting her eyes. “But we’d be glad to have you.”

He sounded so utterly genuine that Fanny felt her carefully erected façade crumble a little.

“Thank you, Thomas,” she said, a little awkwardly. “That is a very kind offer but seeing as I don’t make a habit of singing I’m afraid I’ll have to decline it.”

Thomas looked disappointed but not surprised. “Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us.”

He gave her one last flickering smile before he bid her goodnight with a perfectly elegant bow and faded through the door to his room. For a heartbeat or two, Fanny stood there in the middle of the empty hallway and remembered soft piano notes, wintry lyrics and the feeling of being free.

She shook her head at herself and willed her feet to move on from silly things such as carols and choirs. They were for other people, not for her.

Not anymore.

————

Despite her best efforts not to think about it, Thomas’s Singing Club refused to leave Fanny’s thoughts over the next few weeks. She found herself walking past the pantry more often than she usually did, straining to hear faint notes from behind the door and chiding herself for feeling disappointed when there was nothing but silence. It wasn’t that she actually wanted to join the club – definitely not that. She was just curious about its odd constellation of participants. At least that’s what she kept telling herself as she lay in bed late at night and found herself humming soft melodies she hadn’t dared to give voice to in over a hundred years.

There had been a time once when she wouldn’t have hesitated to sing her heart out. Fanny still remembered the joy of sitting beside her mother at the piano and singing with her. They were the fondest childhood memories she had of her mother – before proper manners, unmet expectations and financial disaster had ruined their relationship and turned it into something cold and full of resentment.

“Stephanie, would you please stop that incessant humming. It’s not appropriate.”

A sigh. “Yes, Mother.”

“Are you whistling to yourself again?”

Biting her tongue. “No, Mother.”

“We don’t need you singing along now, do we, Stephanie?”

Swallowing hurt feelings and grinding her teeth. “No, Mother.”

Fanny did not remember when exactly singing became something secret that had to be hidden from the world unless it was done properly – which meant in a choir where her voice became one of many and got lost in a sea of soaring music. But she did remember when she banned it from her life completely. Even now, so many years later, her heart still ached at the memory of watching her handwritten sheet music go up in flames until it was lost forever. Her marriage to George had changed her for the worst in many ways but the loss of music in her life, the loss of her voice, was one she still found herself mourning the most.

“You call that singing? A mangy street cat can yowl better than you,” he’d once said to her.

Her husband had always been awfully good at hitting her where it hurt the most. Fanny had tried to ignore him at first but his constant remarks eventually wore her down and became so unbearable that she’d destroyed every songbook she owned in a fit of anger and frustration.

An already quiet and joyless house became almost deadly silent after that.

Fanny wondered if Thomas had witnessed that terrible moment of pain and fury in her life all those years ago, wondered if maybe that was the reason why he had asked her to join his Singing Club and not someone else. Kitty would have been the logical choice, really – she loved to sing and did it with such open and unrestrained joy that Fanny couldn’t help but envy her sometimes. No one had ever taken her voice away from her, had silenced her with glances and glares.

But Thomas hadn’t asked Kitty – he had asked her, and Fanny couldn’t deny that a part of her desperately wanted to take him up on his offer. But days had passed since he made it. It would be awkward for her to change her mind now, not to mention that he might not have been entirely serious when he’d proposed the idea to her. Perhaps he’d only asked her so he could mock her like George had and–

Fanny firmly put a stop to that thought. Thomas might be many things but he was not someone who would ridicule anyone for doing something they enjoyed – unlike her and the others who never managed to hide their disdain when he took to the stage and performed one of his poems. It was admirable, really, Fanny found herself thinking, that even after two centuries of meeting nothing but criticism and thinly veiled contempt for his work Thomas still hadn’t given up on it. He shook off their groans and muttered mockery in a way Fanny had never been able to with George or her mother, and it made her appreciate him and his poetry, awful as it might be, a little more.

Still, she couldn’t just turn up at Singing Club out of nowhere, could she? Thomas might welcome her presence but would the others? Had he even told Nigel and Jemima about his generous invitation?

Fanny resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands in a very unladylike manner. She hated that something as simple as walking through a door could be so hard for her, that the mere idea of allowing herself to be even just a little vulnerable in front of others made her chest feel almost painfully tight. She wanted to experience the same joy Kitty felt when she sang at the top of her lungs and the passion that drove Thomas to compose something new every day.

And yet she couldn’t even bring herself to fade through the door in front of her.

“Just be quiet, Stephanie,” her mother used to say.

“Leave the talking to me,” George had murmured before greeting men that were just as flawed as he was with a smile that was as fake as their marriage.

Their voices were louder than the longing inside her heart; always had been, always would be. Fanny had resigned herself to that a long time ago.

Pursing her lips, she resolutely turned away from the door and the soft singing coming from behind it.

————

It was pure chance that had her passing by the pantry a few days later on her way to visit her pets in the garden. It wasn’t the sound of singing that made her stop mid-step this time but that of laughter. Soft giggles filtered through the old wood, so different from Jemima’s usual quiet and serious manner. They were joined by soft, unrestrained chuckles that sounded carefree in a way Thomas rarely was when he took part in one of Pat’s clubs. Nigel’s breathless laughter completed the beautiful symphony.

Turning towards the door, Fanny listened despite the voice of her mother telling her to go and George’s urging her to tell the three off for being too loud.

For the first time in decades, she chose to ignore them.

She leaned closer to the door, drawn towards the joy spilling out from behind it. It reminded her of her children who used to hide in this very pantry, thinking no one would be able to hear their giggling from inside it. Fanny had, of course, and yet she’d chosen to turn a blind eye to their antics and keep George away so they could play their games in peace. Her husband had never liked the sound of children in the house, and knowing that she had done everything in her power to ensure that her children’s voices wouldn’t be stifled like hers had been.

It was one of only a few acts of rebellion she had allowed herself.

Fanny wondered if Jemima’s singing had drawn them to the pantry back then. Perhaps she had been their imaginary friend, and maybe the little plague girl had considered them her friends as well until they’d grown out of the age of playing silly games in cupboards.

The thought saddened her more than Fanny would like to admit.

The laughter beyond the door in front of her slowly faded away, pulling her back to the present.

“Can we sing a song now?” she heard Jemima ask softly.

“Of course, my lady,” Nigel said, his voice still vibrating with laughter. “What song would you like to sing?”

Jemima was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about it. “The one about the fish in the sea.”

“Of course you do,” Thomas said, sounding unbelievably fond. He cleared his throat and began to sing. It wasn’t a particularly beautiful or breath-taking song but it was sung with such obvious joy that Fanny found herself closing her eyes and taking it in as if she was starving. She supposed she was, in a way; had been for a very long time.

One song turned into another and then another. Before Fanny knew it the old grandfather clock in the front hallway chimed the hour. She gasped, too surprised to stifle the sound as she realised that she’d been standing in front of the pantry for almost an hour and was already late for Food Club. She hurried to the common room and was immediately met with the Captain’s disapproving glare when she entered. “You’re late.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Fanny said and took her place next to him as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Shall we begin?”

As Kitty launched into yet another story about her least favourite food, Fanny found her thoughts straying back to gentle melodies and quiet laughter.

————

“You should join us next time,” Thomas said casually as they made their way through the garden later that day because Robin wanted to show them something in the woods.

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean,” Fanny said, knowing exactly what he was alluding to. She quickened her steps in the hopes of catching up to the Captain and Pat ahead of her and escaping what would undoubtedly be an uncomfortable conversation.

Thomas, however, was not so easily deterred. “You’re welcome to linger outside the door, of course, but we’d rather you come inside and join us. Jemima would love to meet you, actually.”

“Really?” Fanny couldn’t help but ask in surprise. The knowing smile on Thomas’s face was enough to make her realise her mistake. With one small word she had all but admitted to loitering in the hallway by the pantry, just like Thomas had said. She had no idea how he knew that she’d been there but there clearly was no use in denying it now.

So she faced him and told him honestly, “I don’t think I’d be a good fit for your club, Thomas.”

“I disagree,” he said plainly.

Fanny heaved a heavy sigh that must have come across as annoyed because Thomas’s face fell and he backtracked, babbling about how sorry he was for overstepping and that he didn’t mean to force her into something that she didn’t want to do and–

“All right,” Fanny said, if only to stop him talking. Thomas’s head snapped up, his eyes impossibly wide with hope, making her realise that there was no turning back now. She suddenly felt her heart in her throat. “I’ll come to your club but I make no promises of singing.”

Thomas nodded eagerly. “Of course. We start at four tomorrow and I promise we will be done before Film Club starts.”

Fanny managed to swallow around the lump in her throat. “Very well.”

Thomas beamed at her.

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he said before he skipped ahead of her down the path, humming happily to himself as Robin led them deeper into the woods.

Feeling lighter than she had in years, Fanny watched him go and allowed herself to smile.

#fanny button #Thomas thorne #bbc ghosts #nigel the plague ghost #jemima the plague ghost #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic #whump wednesday #wwff challenge #bbc ghosts spoilers

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icemavschild · 2 years

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I can help you Pt.II » Floydsin

Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd

Summary: After the Milkshake date, Hangman and Bob go back to Bob’s apartment and discuss some approaches to Jake’s illness

Warnings: 18+ due to eating disorders. Mentions of bulimia, mentions of child abuse, mentions of body dysmorphia

A/N: Please, if you are not comfortable with any of the topics above; do not read this fic.

MASTERLIST » PT.I

Jake and Robert sat towards the back of the small cafe. The two had chocolate milkshakes in front of them, chatting away and getting to know each other.

As of so far, no serious topics had been breached. Jake was thankful for that, he was also thankful for the fact that he had been able to keep half a small biscuit in his stomach for this long. He thanked Robbie for rationalising him into eating the small sweet.

The small milkshake tasted like heaven, he didn’t usually put sweets in his body, let alone keep normal food in it, but his bulimia seemed to only hate solid food. He could never make sense of it, how he could drink things like a chocolate milkshake, but couldn’t even eat a candy bar. It didn’t seem fair in his mind. Hell, his mind was the reason he couldn’t do that.

A small plate of fries was placed in the centre of the table. Jake went to say he hadn’t ordered anything, but the waitress was quick to tell him it was in the house; sending him a wink and her number on a small slip of paper.

Jake hated receiving free food, he always felt he was obligated to eat it. So with a glance up to the man before him, who had seen the panic on Jake’s face when he arrived.

Robert had seen Jake often panic when someone offered him food, he could see the moral battle within himself when he was presented with free food. It honestly always made him sad with how much Jake’s mind and body hated him.

“Could we please get this to go.” Robert asked, the waitress from earlier nodding in disappointment.

When the two arrived back at Robert’s apartment, Jake’s heart began to beat out of his chest. Panic began to set in and suddenly he felt the urge to throw up. It was the biscuit and the milkshake. If it was just the milkshake maybe he’d be fine, but no…he had to agree to eat half of the biscuit and then the other half in the car.

Tears began to well in his eyes as he followed Robert up the stairs. He hated he was going to ask to use the bathroom. He hated that Robert would know why.

Once Robert had placed his things on the counter, he turned to find a crying and fiddling Jake. He seemed nervous, more-so panicked than anything.

“W-where’s your bathroom.” He whispered out, guilt weighing down on his chest like the Gs he pulls in the air.

Robert looked to the side, pain filling his own chest. He knew it was hard for Jake to ask and so he told Jake exactly where it was. Knowing this was the perfect time to ask about this whole thing

Robert sat down on the sofa. Waiting for his boyfriend, if he could even call him that, to return. And when he did he patted the couch gently.

Jake sat down, eyes downcast.

“Robbie, I’m sorry…it was the biscuit and I just couldn’t—”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Robert interrupted him, grasping the cocky pilots hand in his own. Making sure to squeeze his hand so that he locked eyes with him. “When did this start?”

That’s when it all broke, Jake’s walls. The flood gates had opened. He began to sob loudly. Louder than when Robert found out about his mental illness. Jake lurched forward and held onto Robert’s frame. The man just breaking down and sobbing into his chest.

Robert just tangled his hands in his hair. Attempting to calm him down by scratching his scalp lightly.

“It’s okay Jake. It’s all okay.” Robert whispered, removing his hands from his hair to drag the pilot into his lap, forcing Jake to straddle it.

Jake had never been in this position with anyone. He felt vulnerable. He felt cared for. Again, he felt small. So he calmed down. Holding Robert closer. Tighter. If this was any other situation, he work his way into Robbie’s pants. But he couldn’t do that now, he felt to gross. Didn’t want Robert to see his body yet. How gross it was. He didn’t want that.

“When I was 17.” Jake whispered out, his hands tightening around the WSO’s. “It didn’t start out as throwing up.” Jake paused taking in a deep breath.

He suddenly felt scared. Scared of Robert’s reaction, scared of past thoughts and habits resurfacing.

“I started eating less and less every day, until I decided I couldn’t do it anymore.” Jake began crying again. “I started chucking it up, trying to make myself thinner—trying to correct my gross body.”

“Jake, you don’t have a gross body.” Robert tried to reassure.

“Don’t lie to me!” Jake exclaimed, going to pull away but Robbie held tight. “Never lie to me.”

“I didn’t Jake.” Robert heaved out, his eyes staying connected to Jake’s. “I would never lie to you.” He leant up and kissed Jake’s forehead. The man breathing out a hesitant sigh.

“I think I’m gross.” He whimpered out, tears welling and spilling over his cheeks. He began to shake with light sobs. “I wish I didn’t feel gross Robbie. I know I’m fit, I do…I just don’t feel it, Robbie.”

Jake began to sob again. Wanting the spotlight off of him. Wanting to force himself into the corner again. Needing to escape the topic, the honesty. He put it in Bob instead.

“Why do you wear your shirt at the beach?” He suddenly asked, shocking Robert and almost silencing him completely. He could hear his fathers screams echo throughout his mind. Could feel the belt buckle lashing against his back. He could feel the cold hard ground of the basement on his knees. He could feel the splinters in his knuckles from punching doors.

“My old man used to flog me.” He answered honestly. Jake reeling back to stare at Robert. Surely no one would hurt this teddy bear of a man. Surely this man had the perfect childhood. Surely he got a nice domestic home.

“Really?” Jake asked in disbelief. His eyes wide with shock and terror. It made him sad and pained to know someone like Robert Floyd had a life like that and suddenly everything clicked into place. Robert was good at making himself almost obsolete in a room, he was quiet and he was very good at noticing the small things.

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd was an abused child. It became even more obvious to Jake the more he thought about Robert’s mannerisms.

“Oh my god.” He breathed out, “that’s awful.” He exclaimed, standing up kneeling before Robert. “What else did he do.”

Robert just shook his head, his own tears falling down his face.

“I don’t want to say.” He breathed out through heaves of breath, “But I’ll show you.” He admitted and stood up. Shucking off his shirt and Jake stared silently for a good few minutes. Staring at the precise light patches of skin that adorned Robert chest. Too precise for a belt or whatever his old man used. These were knife scars.

“These aren’t flog marks, Robbie.” Jake’s tone was dark now. It was something that shocked the WSO to his core. It made him scared for a moment.

“These weren’t made by my father.” Robert admitted. “These were made by me.” He said, his eyes downcast.

A gasp was heard and Robert was being held by Jake instead. The mans hands meeting disfigured skin. He quickly turned the WSO around and stared at the scars. These were flog marks. He’d seen them on villagers when he was deployed overseas. He couldn’t believe someone would mark Robert Floyd’s skin. It made him want to cry. To kill the man that did this to him.

“I killed him, Y’know.” Robert murmured, the statement shocking Jake into silence once more. Robert Floyd had his own fathers blood on his hands. “He was trying to choke me out, so I found the hardest thing I could and bam he was dead.”

Jake let Robert turn and sit on the couch, Jake lowering himself to his knees.

“I was offered the Navy instead of prison.”

Everything came clicking into Jake’s mind. His questions of why someone so kind entered the navy. Why would someone as sweet as him willing enlist. He didn’t. He was escaping jail. Escaping his consequence.

“If I leave the navy before my contract is up, I go to prison for 20 years.” He continued. Jake reached up and grasped Robert’s cheeks and kiss him. Hard and passionate. Robert tangled his hands in Jake’s hair, who lifted up and placed himself into Robert’s lap. The kiss deepened and the two moaned. The lack of oxygen starting to get to them; though neither made a move to pull away.

It was Jake who broke away to breath in the cold air, his eyes wide and lustful.

“I’m here for you.”

“Same goes, baby.”

Permanent Tags:

@orange-juice-record

@alistocats

@justabeinga

#top gun #gay pilots #Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin #Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd #Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd #hangbob #Bob #Hangman #Floydsin #Hangman Seresin #Bob Floyd #Robert Floyd #Jake Seresin #bulimia #eating disorder #child abuse #warnings #18+#18+ bc of eating disorder

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coconutcows · 1 year

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I answered all the asks in my inbox that I never saw over the past few months and saved them as drafts so I could post them here and there and they’re all gone now 😑 I’m sorry

If you’ve sent me an ask over the past couple months, I’ve seen it and I appreciate them I really do, more than you might think. I’ve been on Tumblr for about ten years now and the past few months is the first time I’ve really interacted with people on here.

Someone said they hoped I was ok - I definitely wasn’t when you sent that message lol, but I am doing better now, not 100% but definitely better ^-^

Someone said it was nice to make my mother the gnome - she loved it!!! I gave it to her before she left for work and it changed her whole mood. And I know you sent it awhile ago but if you haven’t seen it, the spider did turn out quite well if I do say so myself:)

About the exclusivity- I’ve hated exclusivity with a burning passion since I started collecting Monster High dolls when I was a teen, and it’s gotten worse since I’ve seen it with video games and things. I’m not sure how much economics has to do with it, if at all truthfully. I think it boils down to corporate greed knowing fans will pay large amounts for special things to prove they are better fans and them taking payments for exclusivity which just limits their sales in the long run. Leaving a collectable up for three months to order is always going to net them more money than leaving orders up from an hour. They only think about short term.

To the person who sent the message about SSRIs- I’m extremely grateful you sent me that info!!! I saw the ask just before I got really sick for that two weeks, the meds I was talking about are antidepressants and they are SSRIs. When I got sick I was in so much pain and my mom got me some sinus pain relief meds. There was a warning against using them with MAOIs so if you hadn’t sent that I either would have taken them anyway at a risk or I would have suffered with the immense sinus pain and pressure. I do wonder if SSRIs can also affect dreams, I’ve been having a lot more dreams lately

Again, I’m sorry I never answered them earlier!!! I’m having troubles with my phone the way it show’s notifications now makes it easy to miss stuff. But! I will now check my inbox now that there are some very sweet people sending me the occasional message :)

Thank you again and please try to have a wonderful day!!! You deserve it!!!

#Asks #Anon #thank you for the ask!!!#< my ask tags in case anybody tries to see if I responded so they can see my responses #these are cut down mostly but they say the same things as best as I can remember #I do have two I haven’t touched yet so I can still respond to those properly luckily

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holymultiplefandomsbatman · 2 years

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Running Home To You || Five Hargreeves Imagine

Five Hargreeves x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Five accidentally takes you with him when he ends up in the future. For the next 45 years, you stay together, eventually falling in love. But what happens if you get the chance to go back to your own time?

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, kissing, death (like in the og TUA episode)

Requested by anon

My dear anon, thank you so, so much for sending in this lovely request! I’m so sorry it took a while to write. I really hope you’ll enjoy it!

There were only so many times one could stand hearing no as an answer. Especially when they were young and believed they knew better.

That day came for Five at dinner, when he asked Father about time jumps – again. And Sir Reginald barely looked up from his plate while he denied him, again and again.

“You’re not ready, Number Five. Now stop with this nonsense at once!”

Five caught Vanya’s eye across the table, the way she shook her head, silently pleading with him. Usually, he’d listen to her – but not this time. Instead, he turned around and stormed out of the house, his heart beating heavily in his chest.

He was good enough, he was ready! He’d show them all that he was!

Five jumped, the blue light surrounding him until he plopped back into existence on a busy street. But it wasn’t a street like the ones he saw once a month when Mother took them shopping. The people were wearing clothes he’d never seen before, holding devices he didn’t know.

Time and space blurred once again when he jumped a second time, and Five reappeared on another street that was foreign to him. People hurried around him like a swarm of busy bees. They were so preoccupied with their own lives that they likely didn’t even notice someone just appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the freezing street.

Five took a moment to just stand still and look around. Warmth filled him despite the freezing cold – pride.

He’d done it! He’d proved Father wrong! And nothing terrible had happened.

A bell rang somewhere close by, maybe the doorbell of a small shop.

Five briefly turned his head towards the noise. To his left, on the other side of the street, a door had opened, and someone was stepping outside with what could possibly be a sandwich in their hand, Five couldn’t tell. He also didn’t care, just rolled his eyes and turned away, trying to concentrate on his breathing.

The bell chimed again, close by this time.

Five exhaled a gust of air through his nostrils. “Screw it,” he mumbled to himself and disappeared in a puff of blue. Something bumped him while he jumped, but he didn’t pay it any mind.

Five reemerged in front of a burning building – or rather, what was left of it. Only the entrance doorway was still standing, the rest had been torn to shreds. Pieces of what had once been walls littered the ground.

Five took a shaky step forward. He stared at the ruins, ice running through his veins. He’d recognize that doorway anywhere.

“Vanya?” he asked, his throat so dry he could barely get the word out.

No answer.

“Vanya! Ben!” This time, his voice was louder, even though it cracked at the end.

Still no answer.

Five stumbled forward, through the main entrance into what had once been the dining hall. Now, it was all a big pile of rubble, the edges scorched from flames. His heart was in his throat as he called for his siblings, increasingly desperate while his voice only got weaker.

“Luther… Diego…”

Five searched the ruins of the Academy, heart racing in his chest. They couldn’t all be gone! He’d just seen them earlier at breakfast… Vanya had told him not to do it, why hadn’t he just listened? Why hadn’t he–

There were bodies.

Five stumbled towards the biggest pile of shards and stone. He stopped when his foot touched something soft, and as he looked down, he saw that he’d stepped on a hand. He reached out, pushing some of the burnt stone away. More and more of the body came into view.

It was Allison.

Or rather, what he presumed to be Allison. This person didn’t look like his sister at all, at least at first glance. They were older, at least ten years older than his siblings, maybe more. But they were wearing Allison’s necklace, the one Luther had given her, and if Five knew one thing, it was that Allison wouldn’t take that necklace off, whatever happened.

A choked sound escaped Five’s mouth.

Next to her was Diego, and Klaus a bit further away with ash in his hair and stains on the audacious black coat he was wearing. Then Luther, who was now bigger and stronger than Five had ever seen him before. But the hand desperately reaching into Allison’s direction was unmistakably Luther’s.

Five’s knees gave out. He stared at his dead siblings helplessly, unable to understand what he was seeing.

“Where am I?” a voice piped up somewhere behind him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the corpses, too caught up in replaying the fight in his head that he’d had with Father this morning, over and over again.

Father had been right. He wasn’t ready…

The sound of crunching rubble came closer. Someone stood next to him, and Five turned to see you beside him, face scrunched up in confusion while you stared at the ruins of the Academy.

“What is this place? Where am I?”

Everything slipped.

Like painting with a too-wet brush on a canvas, the colors blurred together, this time not because of a spacial jump. Five looked around, suddenly unable to see anything.

Voices echoed around him, rambling, whispering, screaming.

You’re not ready, Number Five! Not ready… Five… Not Five… Ready…

“Five!”

That was your voice, he would recognize it anywhere. Five stumbled to his feet, his eyes darting around in confusion, but he couldn’t see you anymore.

“Five!”

“Y/n! Y/n!”

He called your name again and again, until his voice was hoarse and all that came out of his mouth was a weak croaking sound. He had lost you now, too.

Five’s heart was heavy, sinking to his stomach like a stone as he fell to his knees. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t tell if it was from the smoke in the air or the sudden realization that he was all alone now.

He had no one left…

“Five!”

Five jolted, his head just barely missing the desk lamp. He blinked his eyes open, then stared at you. He was confused and still panicked, his heart racing in his chest. The pictures were still flickering behind his eyes, how he’d jumped in time and gotten stuck in the hell that was the future, together with you.

“You fell asleep at work again.”

You smiled at him, that soft expression on your face that always made his heart skip a beat.

Five could only nod slowly. You were right – his desk stood in front of him, the papers that were piled on top of it were filled with his messy scribbles. Calculations upon calculations…

“Thanks for waking me up.”

You nodded, still smiling, but he could see the crease between your eyebrows, the worry in your eyes.

Five reached out and took your hand that was resting on the back of his chair. He softly ran his fingers over your skin.

There was the ring he’d given you years ago, the rather simple golden band standing out against your skin. He’d made it himself, forged it from whatever he could find. Years later, he’d offered to buy you a new ring, a real one, but you’d declined.

Five still remembered how fast his heart had raced when he proposed to you: he’d been so, so nervous. He almost couldn’t get the words out. The mere thought that your answer could be no had destroyed him.

When you said yes, voice steady and so sure, he’d wrapped you up in his arms and didn’t let go for a long time.

Five also remembered the wedding day itself, how it had been just the two of you reciting your vows in some wrecked building that was somehow still standing. It was the happiest day of his life.

Then again, almost all of his happiest memories were connected to you.

You tilted your head, the smile slowly fading. Your frown was more prominent now, with furrowed eyebrows and your lower lip slightly between your teeth. You weren’t gnawing on it, at least that stage of worry wasn’t reached yet.

“Hey,” Five said, trying to keep his voice calm, “I’m okay. It was just a nightmare.” He didn’t quite believe the words himself, and he could see in the way you fiddled with the locket around your neck that you were still worried. The necklace was a gift from your grandmother, and you were always wearing it – even on that fateful day you’d run into Five after class.

Five kept on tracing his fingers over your skin in circular patterns. You looked down at your hand, followed his movements with your eyes. Five could hear his breathing, so loud in his ears, but he tried to ignore it, to shake the leftovers of the dream.

This wasn’t about him right now. He needed to reassure you, to take your fears away.

Five hated to see you worried, especially when it was because of him. He always wished he could protect you from all of it, keep you safe from all the pain the world could bring. But he knew it was impossible, even for him.

“Oh, by the way–”

Five let go of your hand to duck under the desk and pick up the briefcase he’d stored there.

Your expression shifted as soon as you saw the case. You frowned at Five when he handed it to you.

“Again??”

Five’s lips twitched in amusement at how exaggerated your voice sounded. He glanced at the briefcase sheepishly before looking back up at you.

“Something is wrong with these things, I swear!”

You only sighed heavily and rolled your eyes, inspecting the banged up case. You frowned at the handle that was still connected to the briefcase by sheer luck alone – and by a very thin string of the material that held it together.

“Did it go up in flames again this time?” you asked, barely looking up from the burnt spots on the case.

Five tried his very best not to look guilty as he shook his head. “No.”

You lowered the briefcase and stared at him with raised eyebrows, an expression Five knew very well after all these years.

“I didn’t do anything!” he tried, but when it came to the tech you developed, you were ruthless. No matter how much of a kind person you were outside of the Commission – nobody messed with your technology.

Except for Five, who was notorious for always returning from missions with briefcases or weapons that were either completely broken, or almost irreversibly damaged.

Five crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the briefcase. There was just something about that expression on your face that made him feel like he was being scolded. It brought back memories from his childhood that he tried to ignore.

“Listen,” he started again, “I don’t know what happened. The stupid thing went up in flames as soon as I was back here! I don’t know why!”

Five didn’t tell you that, after a mission, there was nothing better than seeing your face and hearing your voice. Nothing calmed the boiling blood in his veins like when you hugged him close, whispering soothing words into his ear. Most of the time he didn’t even understand what you were saying, but the tone in your voice was enough.

If he had to damage Commission tech so he could see you, well… It was only a small price to pay.

But he would never tell you that, he knew better.

You kept staring at him for a moment longer, and something in your face told Five that maybe you already knew. You lowered your eyes to the briefcase in your hands without another word, a heavy sigh escaping your mouth. Your fingers followed the dents in the material, especially the scorch marks.

You shook your head and turned back to Five.

“At some point you’ll get into serious trouble with the Handler, I swear.”

But the words didn’t hold much anger, and your lips were twitching as you tried your best to hide your smile.

Five nodded, fighting a grin of his own. You rolled your eyes and stood properly, lifting the hand that held the briefcase.

“You’ll get this back in a few days. The damage is even worse than last time – and I have to say, I didn’t think that was even possible.”

Five opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head.

“Handler wants to see you by the way, she came looking for you earlier.”

With that, you left, grumbling under your breath about expensive technology.

Five followed you with his eyes until you disappeared through the doorway. Once you were out of sight, he allowed himself a small smile.

Five ignored the Handler’s request to meet him for as long as he could. It wasn’t entirely on purpose – even though he really didn’t want to talk to the Handler as long as he could avoid it. He was also just really busy, being assigned mission after mission, and he couldn’t do much against that despite the many orders he received from the Handler’s office.

There came a time though where Five couldn’t deny the requests any longer. Handler had become impatient, and her meeting “requests” started to sound more and more like an order.

That was why Five found himself sitting in the Handler’s office at her desk, a cup of coffee in front of him.

She did make good coffee.

“So, Five…,” Handler continued the conversation after taking a long sip from her own cup, “I hereby give you the order for an assassination.”

Five hummed in response, waiting for her to continue.

The Handler set down her coffee cup and handed him the file he’d need. It held all the necessary information on the target as well as how the hit would be executed. Five took it without another word, reaching for his cup again – and promptly grasping into thin air as he read the name of his target.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

“You got to be fucking kidding me…”

The Handler didn’t consider his remark worthy of a response, since she didn’t react to it at all.

Five skimmed through the pages, his disbelief growing continuously. He was really supposed to shoot JFK. And he knew a lot of the people who were supposed to help him do it, too.

“Why–” Five started, raising his head from the list of names to look at the Handler.

She held up a hand to interrupt him.

“I know what you just read. And yes, I want Y/n to join you! She’ll be an excellent addition to the team, don’t you think?”

Handler looked at him with her crocodile smile, that expression of a wild cat playing with its food. Five had a feeling she’d done this on purpose, choosing Y/n as part of the team, maybe because he’d ignored her for so long.

“Y/n is very skilled,” He admitted, because it was true, you were. But he’d much rather known you safe inside the Commission than out on the field, where you were in constant danger and he wouldn’t be able to protect you the whole time.

The Handler still had that crocodile smile on her face when she rose from her chair, the usual sign that the meeting was over. She turned towards her bookcase, running her fingers over a few spines as if contemplating something.

“See, I knew we’d agree it’s the best choice. I wish you the best, Number Five.”

And with those words echoing behind him, Five was led out of the office.

The streets were filled with people, cheering, screaming. Music was playing from somewhere, and the smell of cigarettes hung in the air.

Five pulled a face. He hated the noise and the people – just people in general, really. Especially when he had a hit to execute, a hit as important as this particular one. It was too much – too many liabilities, too many factors for possible complications. The risk of something to go wrong because of a single person was already–

“Five.”

Five looked up, right at you. You had that soft look on your face again. The sight of you alone was enough to quiet down the rambling voice in Five’s head, the one that usually wouldn’t stop reminding him of so many risks.

Five shot you a quick smile. “I’m okay,” He reassured you.

Your eyebrows knitted together into a frown – you didn’t believe him. It didn’t surprise Five, you simply knew him too well. You’d been able to read him like a book from the start.

There was no more time to argue when the signal came that the operation was about to start. Five grabbed his gun, reloading it. The movement was so familiar by now, he did it without even thinking.

“Let’s go, fuckers!”

You snickered behind him, and Five’s lips twitched for a second, before he got into position and set up the gun. Locked on target. He focused on the oncoming car, still far away but in shooting range – at least for him.

Five took a deep breath. In. Out. In.

People were throwing some flowers into the air, or confetti. They weren’t important. All that mattered was the target, who would be at the right spot in 3, 2, 1…

Five pulled the trigger.

Kennedy collapsed in the car, his head lolling about – dead.

The first screams echoed up from the street when Five set down the gun.

Target executed – flawlessly, as usual.

He turned around and looked over at you instantly, wanting to make sure you were alright, even though, realistically, you weren’t in danger.

Not yet at least. One could never be too careful.

You gave him a tiny, encouraging smile, but your eyes told a different story. There was a tiny crease between your eyebrows. You’d grown up with the tales of JFK’s assassination after all, and knowing now who had really been responsible – knowing you, personally, had played a part in it – was certainly strange. Five couldn’t deny he felt weird about it himself.

Your eyes softened a little bit when he leaned forward and reached out to hold your hand, swiping his thumb over your skin tenderly.

“I’m okay,” You whispered, taking a deep breath as you spoke. Five could tell you were fighting for composure. He hoped that whatever comfort he could provide was helpful.

The crowd below had dissolved into panicked screaming by the time the group of agents was packing up their equipment. People were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. It was pandemonium, but was that really a surprise?

Five reached for your hand and laced your fingers together, squeezing once. You gave a squeeze back despite not looking at him – you were watching over the other agents like a hawk, as if to make sure no equipment was damaged. There was a lot of expensive technology involved after all.

And yet, all it had taken to execute the mission was one man with a shotgun.

Five exhaled from deep in his chest when it was finally over. The first agents disappeared in bursts of blue light, not seeming deterred by the chaos on the street below in the slightest.

When the two of you were the only ones left, Five turned to you.

“Are we really doing this?”

You didn’t respond for a long time, and Five was about to open his mouth and tell you it was okay, that he could wait until you were ready, when you nodded once. A very small and unsure nod.

Five waited, giving you time to maybe change your mind. When you didn’t say anything like that, even after what was probably a minute of silence, he nodded and led you to a different area. It was still secluded, but a little bit more open, with trees and bushes hiding you from view.

It had taken years – decades – of calculations, but Five had finally figured out a way to return to his time.

He’d spent weeks after the discovery in deep thought, pondering if he should tell you or not. After all, he had somehow ripped you from your own time against your will all those years ago. He didn’t want to take this new time from you as well, should you choose to stay here.

You’d been shocked when Five finally gathered the courage to tell you. But you decided rather quickly that you’d come with him, no matter what would happen. He’d hugged you close again, just like on your wedding day, and had sworn to himself he would never let you go. No matter what happened.

“You need to help me with this one. I know the numbers, but if I get stuck you’ll need to tell me what comes next.” Five stated, pulling out the calculations. He glanced up from the paper to see your reaction.

You nodded, this time with more certainty than before.

Five’s eyes flew over the numbers one last time before he handed you the book and took a shaky breath.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes,” you responded, your voice strong and without doubt.

Warmth filled Five’s chest. You trusted him so much. Even after all those years, it surprised him sometimes. How much you really cared about him.

Five clenched his hands into fists, concentrating on the numbers he’d memorized. Blue light flickered around his fists, so he tried harder, and harder, until finally a flash of light almost blinded him.

The portal was weak, a lot weaker than it was supposed to be. Five stared at his creation, ice running through his veins the longer he looked at the portal.

It wouldn’t be strong enough to carry both of you…

Five met your eyes over the portal’s rim. Your excited smile slipped when you looked at him, then at the portal, and back at him. Realization had dawned on you, he could see it in your eyes.

“It isn’t strong enough for both of us.”

Five said it anyway, his throat constricting as he did. His knees were turning into jelly the longer he looked at the portal, realizing the consequences.

Only one of you would be able to go through. He’d lose you either way, and with you maybe also the possibility to ever see his family again. But you could also return to yours, make amends and explain why you’d never come home on that winter day 45 years ago…

Five took a deep breath, then made a decision. “You go through.”

Your beautiful eyes were wide with shock when you looked at him over the portal’s edge.

“What?? No! You need to get back to your family!”

Five growled in frustration. Did you think this was easy for him? He wanted to see his family again, he’d been plagued by nightmares every night to this day of them dying, and him unable to do anything. He had searched desperately for 45 years to find a way to see them again.

But Five loved you. And he’d find another way to return to his time, see his family and hopefully even find you again.

He would do anything to make sure you were safe and happy.

“You got stuck here because of me. I won’t take the choice away from you this time. Go!”

You didn’t listen. Instead, you shook your head, those eyes he loved so much filled with certainty despite the tears running down your cheeks.

“No.”

Five cursed under his breath. Why was this the time you decided to be stubborn?

“Y/n–“

You shook your head, interrupting him.

“No! Listen, you’ve waited for this moment for 45 years. You need to get back to your family. I–” Your voice cracked, shaking so much from the tears that you could barely get the words out. “I’d rather stay here knowing– knowing you’ve made it back home, than to– than be in my time knowing I took that chance away from you.”

You were openly sobbing now, tears streaming down your face.

The portal cracked and sizzled. It wouldn’t hold much longer…

A decision had to be made.

Five fought for control over his emotions, but in the end, he started crying as well, a pained sob clawing its way up from deep inside his chest.

“I love you!” He called over the noise of the portal, almost choking on the words.

You let out a sob, nodding your head in response. “I love you too…”

With a last look at your tearstained face, Five jumped through the portal.

He’d expected the weird pull in his lower belly like always when he jumped in time. He hadn’t expected the bone numbing pain that wrecked his body, or the hot flash up his spine that blinded him for a moment.

With a painful thud, Five landed on wet, hard ground. He mumbled a harsh curse, wiping away the tears on his face roughly. His body hurt from the jump and the fall, but it couldn’t compare to the pain in his chest from knowing he’d never see you again.

“Five??”

Five’s head shot up.

And there they were, his siblings – but older than when he’d left them all those years ago. They all looked just like they had on that terrible day where he’d jumped into the future and found them all dead. The day the world ended.

The same day that had also brought you into his life.

“Little Number Five…” Klaus looked at him in disbelief, a cigarette dangling forgotten from his hand. Five couldn’t believe he’d actually missed his idiotic brother.

The words registered. He looked down, seeing that his clothes were a couple sizes too wide, and his feet barely fit into the big shoes he’d been wearing without issues until now.

“Shit…”

Five grumbled a few more curses under his breath. He tried to walk without falling on his face in the clothes that didn’t fit his 13-year-old body.

The crack of thunder echoed behind him.

Five turned around, frowning in confusion, when another portal opened up in the sky, this one a lot stronger than the one he’d used. Through the sizzling, whirling light he could see you, your body being wrecked by the same force that had almost split his brain in half upon arrival.

You landed face first in the wet leaves.

“Y/n!”

Five hurried towards you, stumbling over the pant legs that were way too long for him. He let himself fall to the ground next to you, not caring about the wet floor that soaked his clothes and left him shivering in the cold air.

“Y/n! Hey love, look at me! We made it…”

You blinked your eyes open, and they widened instantly as you saw his face – the face of the boy who had brought you into the future all those years ago.

“Am I dreaming?”

Five choked out a laugh. He cradled your face in his hands as you slowly sat up, a lump in his throat. Relief washed over him like a wave, so intense that, hadn’t he been kneeling, his legs would’ve given out beneath him.

Your eyes flitted over his young face in confusion, then around the garden.

“Am I dead?”

Five let out another laugh. It was the first real, happy laugh in a while.

“No, love, you made it! We made it!”

Your eyes were wide when you looked at him, and Five just pulled you into a kiss before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close. He’d never let you go ever again, he swore it.

You buried your face in his neck, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Your body had grown young again, but your scent was still the same, and so was the way your hands wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him close when he let go to kiss you again.

Someone loudly cleared their throat somewhere in the background.

Five turned away from you, back to his family who were standing there, staring at them in shock and confusion.

“Everyone, this is Y/n!”

You gave a shy wave while you stood up, then wrapped your arm around yourself to keep the shirt pressed against your now young body.

Five handed you his way too big jacket so you could cover yourself. Then he grabbed your free hand, pulling you past his confused siblings and into the mansion. He’d explain everything later… probably.

“Let’s go save the damn world!”

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lotus-flowerz · 3 years

Note

hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa

AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<

i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3

TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES

SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS

KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS

The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.

It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.

These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.

You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"

You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.

"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."

His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.

One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.

He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

"Kazuha, it's not-"

"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kazuha."

You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.

Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.

It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.

Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.

Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.

Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.

"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"

The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.

"Alright doll, what happened just now?"

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"

Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.

"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."

"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.

You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.

"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.

You laughed. "Yeah, let's."

Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.

You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.

Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.

In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.

He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.

"You're scared of me."

"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"

"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."

"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"

"I'm listening."

You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.

"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."

"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."

He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.

"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."

You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.

"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."

"Night, prince/ess."

You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.

Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.

You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.

He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled/

You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Did he hit you??"

"I, um, didn't want to worry you."

"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."

Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.

"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"

"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."

"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."

"I don't want to cause trouble.."

"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."

"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

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sluttywonwoo · 3 years

Text

adante, andante || j.ww x reader

Summary: when in greece… you lose your virginity to your best friend?? that’s how the saying goes, right??? (based off of the song andante, andante from mamma mia! here we go again)

Warnings: swearing, smut

Word Count: 3.1k

Masterlist

Waves lapped at the side of the boat gently as it rocked on the salty Mediterranean Sea, tugging at its anchor deep below the surface. The blazing sun was warming everything it touched, you included, and if it wasn’t for what was happening on top of the boat right now it probably would have lulled you to sleep a long time ago.

Wonwoo was laying in between your legs, leaving wistful kisses along your neck and collarbone. You moaned lowly and turned your head to the side to give him more access as he continued to explore your body with his mouth and hands. He pulled at your bikini straps with his teeth playfully as you tangled your hands in his still-damp curls.

“Wonwoo,” you panted breathlessly, not wanting to stop but knowing you had to.

“Hm?” He looked up eagerly, lips pinker than usual, warm brown eyes darker than you’d ever seen them.

“I- you know I’m a virgin, right?”

Your best friend swallowed and then nodded hesitantly. “Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I should’ve realized.”

You weren’t quite sure what to say. “I, um, just thought you should know.”

He nodded again and wiped his hands on his swim trunks nervously. “Yeah, no thanks for telling me. I was being stupid I shouldn’t have-“

“No, I liked it,” you blurted, perhaps a little too quickly.

Wonwoo chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, looking you up and down. You noted with a hint of a smile how even though his hair was wet, curls still stuck out in the back.

“I liked it too.”

“We… don’t have to stop,” you said softly.

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise at the offer. “Are you sure?”

“Only if you want to.”

His eyes darkened and he grinned, suddenly much more confident than he had been a few moments ago. “Oh, I want to.”

You smiled and lounged back on the deck as he leaned forward over you and pressed his lips to yours once again. He tasted like salt and champagne, with just a hint of orange juice. An odd combination, but addicting nonetheless.

You wondered if the mimosas you had shared earlier lingered on your lips too, or if the salt water overpowered it and had erased any trace of the fruity drinks.

Wonwoo thrust his hips up against you ever so slightly and you whined into another kiss, silently begging him to do it again. It wasn’t much, but the tiny bit of friction the movement did offer was delicious and you needed more of it.

As if he could read your mind, he repeated the motion, deeper this time so that the two of you were flush against each other. The only thing that separated you for that brief moment was the fabric of your swimsuits.

You could feel him through his shorts, already half hard. You ached to touch him, to make him feel good, but nerves held you back. You’d never done any of this after all- well you’d tried blowing your ex-boyfriend once in a parking lot after a movie, but you choked. Literally. You had been completely unprepared and ended up nearly throwing up on his dick after going too far, too fast. After that, you swore you’d never try it ever again, but now your mouth was watering at the thought of having Wonwoo in your mouth. Still, you weren’t sure if you had the courage.

“Fuck.”

“What is it, love?” Wonwoo asked, lifting his head. His eyes still held that same intensity, but his expression betrayed a touch of concern.

“Keep doing that,” you gasped.

“What, this?” he asked and thrust toward you again.

“Yes.”

Wonwoo chuckled.

“What?”

“Nothing!”

“No, why are you laughing?” You pouted.

“Because we’re just- I mean we’re dry humping, essentially,” he explained. “You haven’t seen anything yet, baby.” He reached a hand behind your back and pulled the remaining string that was holding your bikini top up loose. “I mean, if I’m making you feel this good now, imagine what I can do when I’m actually touching you.”

Somewhere along the line your best friend’s goofy demeanor had fallen away and been replaced with this cocky attitude and you didn’t mind one bit.

You let the hand that was still holding your bikini to your chest fall to the side, and with it the top.

“Jesus Christ,” Wonwoo mumbled to himself as he stared.

You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, you’ve seen boobs before.”

“Not yours.”

You wanted to roll your eyes again, ask him how often that line worked on other girls, but truth be told it was working like a fucking charm on you. You had to look away and bite your lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.

Wonwoo reached out and trailed a finger down your now-exposed chest in awe. He brought his hand back up and ever so lightly brushed the tip of his thumb over one of your nipples, repeating the motion with more pressure when you moaned his name.

His breath caught in his throat as your nipples perked under his fingers, pinching them gently. He lowered his head down to your chest and replaced one of the hands on your tits with his mouth.

You whimpered and arched up toward him as he nipped at your sensitive skin with his teeth, sending tingles down your spine.

You had never been touched like this by anybody. You’d given yourself a hand (or rather, a couple of fingers) before, of course, but it was nothing compared to this.

Wonwoo’s hands traveled down to your waist where the hem of your bathing suit bottoms rested on your hips. He tugged at them impatiently.

“Lift up for me, baby,” he ordered softly.

You did as you were told and let him take them off. He twirled them around on a finger, smirking at you before tossing them off to the side.

“Idiot,” you scoffed.

“You know you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

He paused for a second, almost like he was surprised by your answer, but shook it off. His gaze traveled down your body to between your legs and locked there.

“Shit, y/n,” he gulped.

“What? What is it?” you asked nervously, hoping he wasn’t seeing something he didn’t like. Maybe not all pussies looked like that- but no, you’d watched porn before. That couldn’t be it. “Wonwoo?” you tried again, nudging him with your knee.

“Sorry.” He blinked and looked back up at you. “You just, you’re really…”

“Use your words, Wonwoo,” you teased.

“I really wanna taste you,” he admitted weakly, then cleared his throat to compose himself. “But we can do that another time. I don’t want to push you, especially since it’s your first time.”

You just nodded along as his words echoed in your head.

I really wanna taste you.

Another time.

He’d want to do this again? He’d want you again?

“I’m gonna start with two fingers, okay?”

Wonwoo’s voice snapped you out of your daze and you focused back in on him holding his middle and ring finger up for you to see.

“Okay.” Your voice wavered as you spoke.

“I’ll go slow,” he promised.

You stared at the clouds above you and took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. You flinched when you felt him touch you for the first time. He froze and looked back up at your face to gauge your reaction.

“Sorry,” you whispered hoarsely.

“Don’t apologize,” he chuckled. “Fuck, y/n, you’re so wet,” he said and held up his hand so that you could see your own arousal glistening on his fingers in the sunlight.

You squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “I’m sorry!”

“What did I just say about apologizing?” “S-” Wonwoo glared at you, knowing you were about to apologize for apologizing. “Force of habit,” you mumbled.

“Never apologize for being turned on. It’s hot,” he said and brought his fingers up to his mouth. You thought back to a few seconds ago when he said he was desperate to taste you and watched as he licked your wetness off of his hand. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“What did you just say about apologizing?” you mocked, unable to say anything else about the comment he just made.

He rolled his eyes at you like he always did, but positioned his hand at your entrance anyway. He leaned down to kiss you again as he finally slid the two fingers into you. You moaned in relief at the feeling.

Wonwoo kept his fingers in place, letting you adjust to having them inside of you. You kind of wanted him to keep them there forever, not moving, just like they were, but you knew he was getting impatient too.

You moved your hips a little, signaling him to move as well and he was happy to oblige. He went slow, like he had promised, moving his fingers in a “come hither” motion.

“Fuck,” you gasped and let your head fall back. “Fuck, Wonwoo, please.”

“Please what?”

“Please…” you trailed off, your thoughts too jumbled to form a coherent sentence.

Your best friend took mercy on you and curled his fingers up further, pushing into you all the way to his knuckles. You cried out when he brushed against your g-spot for the first time and clenched your hands by your sides, mumbling profanities under your breath.

He praised you as he helped you fall apart, your name tumbling from his lips followed by ‘good girl’.

His fingers were definitely bigger than yours, longer too, and you wondered to yourself why the two of you hadn’t started doing this earlier.

You opened your eyes briefly to look at his face, flushed pink, brows furrowed in concentration. His eyes were darker than you had ever seen them, nearly black like the sea at dusk, a striking antithesis to the dazzling blue ocean beneath you.

“Wonwoo, wait,” you panted and reached out for the hand that wasn’t currently inside of you.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, no it’s not that,” you stammered as you tried to catch your breath. “I just,” you paused, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m just close.”

“Oh.” His eyes widened with realization. “So did you want me to keep going or-”

You shook your head. “I want you.”

Wonwoo nodded, swallowed nervously, and pulled his fingers out of you slowly. He pushed himself up into a kneeling position and shimmied out of his swim shorts.

It was your turn to stare. You’d never seen your best friend naked before. To be fair, the boy was shirtless around you all the time, but that wasn’t the same as being butt-ass naked in front of you like he was now.

There were those butterflies again, fluttering around in your chest and stomach relentlessly. Something about the way Wonwoo was looking at you, something about the intimacy of the moment made your heart skip a beat.

You had never really let yourself think about how, uhm… well-off your best friend was, but now that his dick was literally staring you in the face you knew your estimate would have been way off anyway. Wonwoo always talked a big game, but you didn’t think he’d actually have the capability to back it up.

“My eyes are up here,” Wonwoo teased, making heat rush to your face. He lowered himself back over you with a smirk and pushed your hair out of your face delicately. “Are you sure about this?”

You nodded. “I’m sure if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure if you’re sure,” he repeated and grinned.

“Just do it already,” you groaned and rolled your eyes.

“Wow, so romantic,” he scoffed as he lined himself up. “Are you ready?”

You nodded again, suddenly overcome with nerves. You’d been doing so well, why were you freaking out now? You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that you trusted Wonwoo more than anyone you knew, he was your best friend and would never do anything to hurt you. You didn’t want to experience this with anyone else.

“I’m a little nervous,” you admitted. “Can you go slow?” Like before?

His eyes softened at your request and he nodded. “I’ll go as slow as you want, y/n. We can stop whenever. Just tell me what you need.”

You tensed, braced yourself for the stretch- for the pain you’d heard about all your life, but it never came. He pushed himself into you at an agonizing pace, pausing every inch or so to give you time to get used to the feeling. The sensation was new, but it wasn’t bad. Your body felt warm all over and the only way to describe what you were feeling was full.

Wonwoo’s head fell back and he cursed, hips jerking instinctively. You squeaked out a sound you didn’t know you were capable of making and laughed.

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said breathlessly, smiling up at your best friend reassuringly.

“You okay?”

“Never better.”

“Are you hurting?” he pressed, rubbing his thumb along your cheek.

“No, feels good.”

“You’ll tell me if it doesn’t, right?”

“Yes, Wonwoo,” you sighed impatiently. “Less talking, more fucking.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “As you wish.”

You groaned. “Don’t go all Princess Bride on me while we’re having sex, I’m already turned on enough.”

“Get used to disappointment.”

You pursed your lips and turned your head to the side to keep from laughing. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. He retaliated by leaning down and peppering kisses all over your face and neck, breaking your resolve.

“Okay, okay!” you cried.

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world,” he whispered in between kisses. “It would be a pity to damage yours.”

“You’re not even using context! How many fucking times have you seen this movie?”

He shrugged. “Too many to count.”

“Oh, so not very many then?”

“Fuck you!”

“You already are.”

“You get on my fucking nerves,” he growled.

“What are you gonna do about it?” you challenged, biting your bottom lip.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” He clenched his jaw and put a hand on your thigh to steady himself. “Are you good to keep going?”

“God, yes. Please move.”

“All you had to do was ask nicely, baby.”

Despite his cockiness he set a painstaking pace. He thrust into you gently, gauging your reaction each time. Lust and patience were both reflected in his eyes, wrestling for control. You couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. He was so fucking beautiful and he was yours, if but for a moment.

“Is this alright?” he asked in a strained voice.

You wanted to tell him to go faster, beg him to fuck you harder, but the words wouldn’t come. You were already too far gone to string together thoughts, let alone coherent sentences.

“Is that a yes?”

You managed to lift your arm and give him a thumbs up.

“I can slow down if you want,” he offered.

“No!” you choked out desperately.

“Do you want me… to go faster?”

“P-please.”

“Fuck, okay, I can do that,” he said, not sounding entirely confident about it.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes rolled back as he gradually built momentum until he was just shy of railing you like a pornstar.

“Fuck, y/n, your cunt is so goddamn tight.”

You thought you were going to have a stroke hearing the filthy words that were coming out of your best friend’s mouth, and felt yourself clench around his cock.

“Are you close?” Wonwoo panted as his thrusts started getting sloppier.

He obviously wanted you to finish first, but you could tell he was already teetering on the edge. His muscles were taut with restraint and sweat gathered on his brow as he concentrated on holding off.

With a shaky hand he used his thumb to massage your clit, applying just enough pressure to drive you crazy.

“Yes, yes, yes, Wonwoo, I’m so close- I’m-I’m gonna cum,” you whined, feeling yourself start to tip over the edge.

But just before you could, Wonwoo pulled out and finished on your stomach with a moan of your name as streaks of white painted your skin.

He looked so pretty getting off like that that you couldn’t even be mad. The way his whole body tensed in anticipation and his face scrunched up in pleasure, the way his mouth fell open and his bottom lip trembled as he lost himself … you’d be replaying the image in your head for days.

Wonwoo hadn’t even caught his breath before his attention was back on you. He used the same two fingers from before to replace his dick and curled them up towards your g-spot, hitting it over and over and over again until you were falling apart.

Your thighs tightened around Wonwoo’s arm as you came on his fingers and begged him not to stop.

When you came down from your high it took you a second just to remember your own name, not to mention where the fuck you were.

“I’m so sorry,” Wonwoo blurted out. “It was your first time you should’ve cum first, but then you said my name and I couldn’t-”

“Wonwoo, it’s fine,” you assured him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “It was perfect.”

“No it wasn’t! I wanted it to be special for you.”

“How many people get to lose their virginity on a boat in Greece to their best friend? Sounds pretty special to me.”

“I guess,” he mumbled.

You rolled your eyes. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll let you make me cum as many times as you want tonight.”

“You’ll have to be quiet,” he reminded you. “Do you think you can do that?”

You had almost forgotten about Jihoon, Seokmin, and your other friends waiting for you back at the resort. They had all made a last-minute decision not to do the boat trip, electing instead to spend the day by the pool. You and Wonwoo were the only ones too stubborn to cancel the reservation.

It made you wonder what would have happened if the others hadn’t stayed back. If you and Wonwoo weren’t alone on the boat, would you have ever slept together? Would another opportunity have come up, or would you have spent the rest of your life as best friends and nothing more? Were you anything more now?

“Do you think they’ll know?” you asked as pulled your bikini bottoms back on.

“That we slept together?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“If they don’t figure it out when we get back, I’m sure they’ll get the hint by tomorrow morning.”

“And why’s that?” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Hotel walls are notoriously thin.”

happy birthday bby <3 lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

wonwoo tags: @wonw00t

send me an ask to be added to my taglist

#andante andante #wonwoo smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo x female reader #wonwoo x fem reader #seventeen smut

1K notes · View notes

nickfowlerrr · 2 years

Text

pretty when you cry - chapter thirteen

series masterlist

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. 18+ ONLY. dubcon elements. poorly written smut. elements of toxic relationships. darkish happy? ending (imo). if i’m missing anything pls let me know

words: 6.6k

notes: this is it! sorry it took so damn long and is poorly edited but i hope you all enjoy. and if you don’t - i completely understand bc i think it’s kind of a let down but i usually am let down by my work 💀 also i’m terrible at endings so sorry again lol but i hope it wasn’t too bad. this has been my first ever series and i’ve learned so much about my writing in the process. thank you to each and every one of you who has read and shared and commented on pwyc - i love all of you so much and i’m so glad i was able to share this with you. i said this previously but i am more than open to writing drabbles and one shots for these guys if anyone has anything they’d like to send in and i am already planning on writing an epilogue i’m just not sure when i will. also! if you have already sent in requests just know i did receive them and am working on them - it just takes me a while to get things done if i’m not entirely inspired when i’m trying to write them lol. anywho! please let me know what you think about this last chapter - i love reading your feedback and thoughts. again - i hope you all enjoy and thank you again for reading 🥰

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

You got up out of the bed and walked straight out of the room. As you opened the door and walked out into the hall, it was pitch black all around you. You didn’t know the house well enough to make much out around you but you had a vague idea of where things were and where the stairs were at least. There was no sign of him being downstairs as there were no lights on, though you thought maybe he could be down there and simply turned the lights out already.. You tried to look around the rest of the floor before having to go down the steps and were relieved to see a hint of light behind one of the doors on the opposite side of the hall.

You knew he could quite literally feel you and it only made you more upset. He knew what you were feeling and was content to only make you feel worse. It would have pissed you off if you weren’t so desperate for him. You walked to the door and only then did you notice it wasn’t shut all the way. If you were remembering correctly, this was one of the guest rooms you had seen earlier in the day. Pushing the door open, you slowly made your way inside. There you found Bucky pulling the covers back on the bed looking like he was getting ready to lay down, still not bothering to look at you. You bit your lip and took a breath before walking further into the room.

“Are you sleeping in here?” was all you could think to ask as you stared at him with a longing you were sure he felt.

“You said you needed to be alone. I’m leaving you alone. Just like you asked.” he said as he turned to face you.

“I’m not stupid, Bucky. I know you know what you’re doing.”

“Oh? And what am I doing?” he asked, moving to sit on the bed.

You couldn’t find the words to answer him, so you just looked at him with glassy eyes. You didn’t want to break first, really you didn’t. But you couldn’t take it anymore. He took your silence as a sign that the conversation was over and proceeded to lay down, turning the light off next to him as he did.

You stood there in the dark for a second before finally speaking.

“You said that you love me,”

Your voice was meek and barely audible, but you knew he heard you from the way he went rigid and the change in his breathing.

“Don’t you love me?” you asked with tears in your eyes.

It would have almost been funny the way Bucky shot up if you hadn’t been so caught up in your own despair.

Before you knew what he was doing, he pulled you to him as he sat up. With you standing before him between his legs, he turned the lights back on and then turned back to you with a serious look.

You didn’t know what he was about to say, but you knew you couldn’t take hearing anything other than his reassurances so you spoke again before he could.

“Please don’t be mean to me,” you said as you stood there, his hands finding your hips and pulling you closer to him.

“Sweetheart. I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of. More than anything or anyone.” he said as he looked into your eyes. “You’re my whole heart. Of course I love you. I’m never letting you go,” he finished as he squeezed you.

“Yeah? If you really mean that then why- why were you being so mean?” you heard yourself ask, though it was hard to believe it was really you talking. You sounded so sad and broken and you felt like a little kid.

“I needed you to see how much you need me, sweetheart. You had to see that. Had to feel what I’ve been feeling… being denied the love you're supposed to be receiving from your soulmate. What it’s like without it. You know now, yeah? It’s not just me, it’s both of us. It’s our connection. I need you just as much as you need me. And I need you more than anyone or anything,” he was soft spoken, treating you with such delicacy it was almost maddening. The switch from his earlier demeanor and attitude was near instantaneous and jarring as it always was. But his touch was soothing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from seeking more. As if he knew what you were wanting without you saying it aloud, Bucky was pulling you onto the bed with him and before you knew it you were cuddling up to him like a lovesick puppy. And Bucky loved it.

Suddenly, it all clicked for you. You got it now. Like, really really got it. Even though it seemed like you could never pin him down, it was clear as day the reason he could so easily flip on a dime. It was you, it always had been you. This connection. His obvious fear of losing you, of being rejected by the one person who was guaranteed to love him despite everything, was the main cause of it. He couldn’t lose you and so he reacted instinctively with malice and possessiveness, though he was in a prison of his own making.

Bucky, obviously, was all in now. He couldn’t deny that he was in total love with you and you challenging that, the one thing he knows to be true about himself, had to be triggering. From your own perspective, you knew you were different around Bucky, you realized that it had to be the same for him. It’s a change you still aren’t used to and you were sure he wasn’t used to his own changes either.. But if you played your cards right, the shitty hand you had been dealt by life, you were sure you could play him just as easily, if not easier, than he had played you today. And that was an oddly comforting conclusion to come to. Though it would certainly be easier to just give in completely to your connection - to him, you weren’t sure if you could truly let it all go. It’d always be somewhere in the back of your mind - it’s not easily forgotten, no matter how much either of you may wish it would be. And you weren’t too keen on the idea of losing yourself and your will entirely just because you were soulmates. It was supposed to be an equal exchange of one’s self to the other, wasn’t it?

As little consolation as it was, you had a growing awareness that Bucky would do nearly anything if it made you happy. He would do anything for you…you could get him to do almost anything. You just had to work it the right way. And you could do that.

“I’m..I’m so sorry, Bucky” you said while your head was on his shoulder. He undoubtedly could feel the tension fading from you as you laid with him and while you spoke. “I get it now. You were right, this whole time.. you’ve been right. I just didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to accept it. I just..I’m sorry. But I think I’m seeing things clearly now,” you whispered. A part of you was worried that if you kept this up you’d start to believe yourself, but you knew that Bucky was wrong. At least in the extreme ways he acted. And the way he approached the majority, if not all, of your relationship thus far. He was just too stubborn or maybe too selfish to understand that right now. But unlike him, you wouldn’t try and force him to see things your way. You’d move a little more gently than that.

Still, you felt a tinge of guilt for how manipulative you thought you were being and yet you also felt a bit of shame for how appeasing you were at the same time. You honestly didn’t know how you truly felt in the moment.. You were still acutely aware of how you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ feel. Maybe you did know deep down how you felt, but you weren’t open to fully embracing or accepting it. What you did know was that Bucky holding you and telling you that it was all okay was making you feel better than you had the past few days. And you knew you didn’t want him to be upset with you or hurt by you any further. Though that hurt was in truth brought on by his own actions, you couldn’t find it in yourself to knowingly continue it.

You felt you needed to quiet your mind for a moment and so you let your eyes flutter shut as Bucky’s metal arm held you and his flesh hand rubbed your back soothingly. Before you could catch yourself, you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up feeling more clear and more like yourself. The smell of freshly brewed coffee greeted your senses as you sat up on the bed to find that you were back in the main bedroom and the spot beside you was warm but empty. Your brows furrowed as you looked for your phone and checked the time, seeing a steaming mug on the stand where your phone laid. You made to sip some coffee, seemingly made the way you always took it, but decided against it as you didn’t want to scald your tongue on the hot brew. You got up and wandered into the bathroom, going about your typical morning routine in the still new home you found yourself in.

As you finished up and walked back into the bedroom, you were met by the sight of Bucky coming in.

“Morning, princess,” he greeted with a smile much too big for your liking at the moment as he approached his bedside table while carrying two plates of breakfast in his hands.

“Morning,” you responded almost skeptically as you sized him up. He wasn’t gonna act like yesterday just never happened, was he? Well, of course he probably was. But you still needed to finish your conversation from yesterday and he wouldn’t charm his way out of it or distract you this time.

“Lay back down,” he urged, voice soothing and expectant. The hold Bucky had over you was, frankly, obnoxious because though you stood in your spot a moment, you soon moved to his whim and sat back on the bed, reaching for the coffee as you did.

“I made pancakes,” he said as he handed you the plate and you set the mug back down to take it from him. “How’s the coffee?”

“Good,” you responded, nodding your head slightly. “Thank you.”

He took his spot back on the bed with his own plate as you stared down at yours. You weren’t sure how to approach this. The last thing you wanted to do was start another argument, but you needed to say what you needed to say.

“They’re not poisoned,” Bucky spoke from beside you as he cut into his own pancakes. You looked over at him as he shoveled a forkful into his mouth and gave you a lopsided grin before reaching over to you and cutting into the pancakes on your plate, taking a piece onto his own fork and making a show of eating it. “See?” he taunted almost cheekily. You couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out or the lilting of your lips as you rolled your eyes at him.

You started eating in slow bites as you thought and didn’t notice Bucky moving in closer as you both sat in, dare you say, comfortable silence, until he took your plate from you and moved it on top of his as he leaned back over to his left side and set them on his bedside table. He was back beside you in an instant as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, placing a kiss on your temple. “This is how yesterday was supposed to go,” he muttered against your skin, giving you the perfect opportunity to bring up what you needed to.

You tried to pull away from him, wanting to look at him more directly as you started talking, but he didn’t let you out of his grasp. Instead, he pulled you more into him, causing you to turn completely and forcing you to essentially straddle him as you had nowhere else to move. You huffed as you tried to get off of him and he only held you still.

“Bucky,” you whined.

“What?” he asked as if he was doing nothing.

“Stop it. I- we need to talk..about yesterday,” you started. His grip got a little tighter around you, pulling you closer against his chest before he responded.

“We did talk,”

“No, we didn’t. Not about everything,”

His jaw clenched but you refused to let this conversation go as you held eye contact with him.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“You know what,” you accused.

“Enlighten me,” he mused as his hands began rubbing up and down your back.

The urge to push off of him and get distance between the two of you was strong, but you fought that urge - thinking that as long as you could keep your own head on straight, the closeness would make Bucky more receptive to you.

You moved his right arm from around your back and held his hand in your own. “Please listen to me,” you urged him.

“I’m listening,” he said as he intertwined your fingers. You honestly couldn’t tell how much he was paying attention as it seemed like his mind was elsewhere, but figured you needed to just talk and see how he responded.

“I need you to hear me, Bucky. Because I mean this. You can’t ever treat me like that again. If this is gonna work, if there’s any chance of making this work, you..you have to at least be nice to me,” you started, pausing in case he had anything to say yet, but he didn’t so you continued on.

“You have to do better. You have to treat me better. And you have to be more consistent,” you spoke a little more confidently. “You’re so nice to me one second and then I say something you don’t like and the next.. I just- I can’t take the whiplash anymore. I won’t.” Bucky’s eyes looked like they had darkened as he took in your last words and though it looked like he was about to say something, you spoke again before he could.

“I’m not- I’m not threatening or saying I’m gonna leave,” you rushed out. “You just.. There’s so much happening. So much has happened. And everything is so different for me, everything is changing and I just- I guess I just need you to be patient with me..”

“You may not believe me,” he began quietly, “But I am trying. There’s a lot happening and changing with me, too, you know. This hasn’t been all sunshine and roses for me either, sweetheart.”

A sense of guilt rushed through you as he spoke. But why? You felt sorry for what you had done, but really what did you do? You didn’t let him have you when he wanted you, and that was what you felt guilty for? You shouldn’t feel sorry for respecting yourself and your feelings.

Still though, just reflecting back on the previous day you couldn’t imagine what Bucky had to be going through each time you rejected him and turned him away. But was there really any comparison between the unintentional emotional pain you caused him and the pain he had caused you? How do you even compare such things..were they even worth comparing.?

Bucky felt your hurt and continued on as you stared down at your still interlocked hands, surely looking conflicted.

“I never meant to hurt you. And I know you never meant to hurt me.”

Try as you might, you couldn’t hide your indignation at that.

“I hurt you? I hurt you?” you said in disbelief as you let go of his hand and pulled away from him. “Are you fucking serious, Bucky? Intention is kind of the big difference here, don’t you think? You say you never meant to, but fuck, you did. You absolutely did. Forget everything that happened before I got here, okay, let’s just focus on literally yesterday alone!

You used this connection against me. You were mean and hurtful and you purposely humiliated me. So don’t sit here and act like you never meant to. I never meant to hurt you, but you hurt me over and over to prove your point and you know you did.”

Bucky grabbed you as you tried to get off the bed and restrained you with your back to his chest and his arms wrapping around you.

“Stop. Stop,” he spoke in your ear as you tried to get out of his grasp. You had to calm yourself down and took a couple deep breaths as you stopped fighting against him. This was not going to plan, and you thought back to what Eva had told you again, your attitude always came out at the least opportune times (ie when you were in the midst of situations you should be deescalating).

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly as you tried to relax yourself in his strong grip before speaking again.

“I’m sorry. For hurting you. I didn’t- I never realized how affected you were by our connection and by my..resisting it. I didn’t know I was hurting you. I can’t say that I didn’t ever want you to hurt, especially before, but I never meant to intentionally hurt you. I couldn’t. It makes me feel illogically terrible knowing that you were ever feeling that way because of me. That you felt that way because of me. I’m sorry.” Bucky’s hold tightened around you briefly as he buried his head in your neck for a second before looking back up and tilting to kiss you. It was soft and you were feeling yourself fall weak as he held you.

“I don’t need an apology, princess,” he said.

“Well, I do,” you stated breathily. “I do. I need one.”

“Okay,” he said before placing a light kiss on your neck. “I’ll make it up to you,” he murmured against your skin before he began trailing kisses along your neck.

It was sobering as he did so. Did he actually hear you at all? Did he care at all about how upsetting his behavior had been? Did it really even matter? You didn’t really care. Whether he meant it or not, you just needed to hear him say he was sorry or you didn’t think you could keep this up. Loving him was outside of your control, but you couldn’t imagine living being so angry all the time because he was incapable of taking full responsibility for his shitty actions and for being incapable of saying a simple ‘I’m sorry’, because in all reality that was the very least he could offer you. You pulled away from him and moved to turn around and face him.

“No. I need you to say it. Say you’re sorry,”

“I have,”

“No you haven’t. You’ve been trying to pacify me, you’re acting like nothing happened but I can’t. I just need to hear you apologize. Just say it - just tell me you’re sorry and I can pretend that you really are and I’ll feel better. I don’t care if you don’t mean it, okay? I don’t care if you’re lying, just say it, please,” you pleaded as tears grew in your eyes. Bucky swiftly moved to hold your face in his hands and continued to hold your gaze as he spoke.

“Listen to me,” he began seriously. “I’m not lying. I’m sorry, I really am. I’m so sorry,” the sincerity in his voice was evident and felt real as he leaned his forehead against yours. You found your arms wrapping around him as your tears started to fall. He pulled you down to lay on the mattress while he hugged you back and kissed your head, letting out a heavy sigh as he squeezed you.

“I’m sorry,” he said again as he tilted your jaw up, right hand holding your chin before he moved in and kissed you, then pulled back to wipe some of your tears away as you blinked at him. You suddenly wanted him even closer and pulled him back toward you, surprising him by catching his lips in yours. You don’t know what came over you, but it felt like you had been missing him your entire life all at once and you wanted him all around you, heart and soul consumed by your sudden need for him - stronger even than the day before. It was like just hearing him say he was sorry was a huge weight lifted off you. You couldn’t explain it, you just acted on what you were feeling, no thoughts other than Bucky.

Your lips were on his, and then on his cheek, down his throat, and all over his exposed chest. You had no inhibitions, no trepidations, and Bucky was more than on board with your sudden shift, if not just a little surprised. His hands found the hem of your sleep shirt and he pulled it off and over your head with no complaints against the action from you as he then flipped you completely onto your back, hovering over you. Your hands found his hair and you pulled him back down to you, lips crashing into his once again. You felt frenzied.

Bucky pulled away, both of you a little breathless.

“Slow down there, sweetheart,” he chuckled.

“No,” was all you responded with as you pulled him back down to you.

The kiss was electric and full of passion and desire as you allowed it to grow deeper and deeper.

You all of a sudden found yourself tugging down his sweats as best you could before he pulled away and took them the rest of the way off while you tore your shorts and panties down your legs.

He returned to his position above you and made quick work of your bra, hands then fondling you as you leaned up and took his lips in yours once again.

“You okay?” he asked suddenly after breaking away once again breathless.

“‘M’fine. I just want you. Need you. Now,” you panted before pulling him down to you again.

His lips crashed with yours in another heated kiss as he lifted your leg, urging you to wrap it around him and open yourself up for him which you complied with instantly.

In one swift motion, Bucky seated himself deep inside of you, no foreplay or explicit warning. You slightly winced then moaned at the feel of him and your hands reached to wrap around his body as your nails raked down his skin. You were surprised by how wet you were for him already as you welcomed him in, your heat wrapped around his cock like a vice to keep him inside as he fucked you. Your bodies were cosmically in sync as he quickly brought you closer and closer to your orgasm. Your nerves were alight with the pleasure as he rocked into you and you were touching and grabbing and feeling each other like you never had before. It was sudden and animal and passion fueld and you didn’t know where it came from but you didn’t want it to stop.

His lips planting along your skin, trailing up and down, leaving bites every now and again. You soon had both legs wrapped around him as he moved inside of you - hitting every perfect spot and causing delightful friction against your clit as well.

He was breathing heavy as you were and when you began to shower him with praise, he only got more dedicated in his movements.

“That’s so good, Bucky,” you moaned. “Oh god you’re so good,” you said, earning a deep groan from him that only got you more turned on and left you feeling hotter than you had been feeling before.

“Right there, Bucky. Yes, please, please don’t stop,” you continued to beg. “I’m so close, please!” And you really were. You weren’t sure what was going on or what had come over you but you did know that you desperately needed him and wanted to feel him hitting in and out of you. You wanted to feel him come so desperately that you didn’t care how loud or needy you might have been being. You were solely focused on your need for him. You wanted to come and you wanted him to come with you.

“Fuck, baby, keep talking like that I’m not gonna last,” he moaned out.

“Don’t want you to,” you said, “Wanna come, I wanna come with you,” you whined. “Please, Bucky, I want you so badly - I can’t wait. I need it, Buck, please”

You almost screamed out when his fingers found your stimulated nub and he continued to work you over even as his hips slowed down to a deep rocking. You were sure you’d burst if he didn’t give you what you needed soon. Especially as what felt animal became slower and deeper and more sensual. You felt even closer than before as his pace ensured you felt each and every drag of his thick cock and each and every touch he left on your skin. The look in each other’s eyes was indescribable as you gazed into one another - wanting to see all you could. Every feeling, every thought, every emotion, everything.

“Tell me you love me,” he breathed raggedly as he continued to fuck into you while his thumb worked your sensitive clit, sending delicious waves of pleasure through you with every move he made.

“I-“ you tried to speak but suddenly words were lost. “I love- I love you. I love you, Bucky- I love you!” you chanted repeatedly as you held onto him like your life depended on it. “Please,” you cried. “Please come with me, please.”

The grunts and groans and moans coming from him were beautiful and the look of pure pleasure that flooded his face as he reached his peak inside of you was enchanting and you were laid there, consumed completely by him as you reached your own bliss in time with his.

Bucky had come inside of you and you didn’t know you could ever feel so full as you held him to you. Settling down, he didn’t want to move you too much, as comfortable as you both were, so he gently pulled you onto your side and against him after he lowered himself down onto the mattress. “Fuck, I love you, princess. So goddamn much,” he breathed before kissing you again.

You cuddled closer to him as you regained your breathing and he kissed you up and down your neck and down to your shoulder as he held you to him. one of your legs still wrapped around him while he stayed inside of you, keeping you as full of him as he could. You both laid with each other for a while, though you were sure Bucky was ready to go again should you want as you still felt him inside of you. But before you could initiate another round, still craving more intimacy with him like your soul was wanting to try and make up for lost time, your phone started ringing on the opposite bedside table. Bucky gently removed himself from you and you gasped at the loss of him and the flood of his seed that followed. You gingerly got off the bed while Bucky turned to check your phone. It was the perfect chance to get your head back on as you could put a little distance between you and not get completely swept up by him and your heart. That didn’t really work though as you were still craving his touch and seeking his closeness. You walked to the bathroom and Bucky followed suit. You showered together and the air around the both of you just felt entirely different. It felt like a dream. He helped clean you up and after you were both done, you found yourself just standing under the water, hugging him while he held you in return as you slightly swayed against him. You felt different. He felt different. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint why.

For the first time, really, you openly wanted him. You loved him, no holds barred. And the mutual affection was almost supercharging your desire to be around one another. This was what it always should have been.

Now, it’s not like you had forgotten anything he’d done, but the stranglehold you had on it- the hold it had over you had been..alleviated? It had to be, or none of this would ever work out happily for you. If you had to let go in order to not be so angry and hurt and bitter all the time, you would. And you did. The shift was instantaneous.

It certainly wasn’t an easy thing to do, forgiving him, but you know the end. It’s you two, together. No matter what. So why should you have to suffer any more than you already have? This could be good, great even. Bucky has only been mean when you’ve pushed him away and rejected him (whether it was deserved or not - he couldn’t see the difference past his selfishness). The rest of the time, sure, he could be domineering and possessive and a bit of a cocky jackass but you could handle that. And you knew what he was capable of, but there was a dominant, innate part of you that trusted him to never take advantage of your connection the way he had before again. You weren’t really worried that he’d ever hurt you and you weren’t planning on pushing him to the point of threatening or hurting other people again. You knew he’d do whatever he had to to keep you with him and keep you his.

And you know now just how far you can push him and you’re sure you know how to get your way..for most things. You were sure there were some things he wouldn’t budge on, like say, moving you in with him, but for others, you’d test the waters and see. Though there were some things you wouldn’t budge on either and you’d have no problem fighting for. You may be more appeasing and amenable, considering how much easier it would make your life, but you weren’t a door mat. He couldn’t take over every aspect of your life and you had to make sure he knew how you felt about that.

When you two finally got out of the shower and dried off and dressed, you grabbed your phone to see it was a missed call from Eva and some text messages.

Holding you to it this time, no joke. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, you’re not gonna flake on me again!! 😤

And answer your damn phone once in a while - what if it was an emergency??

Also! I switched shifts with Max tomorrow so we’re gonna be working together again finally😍

You felt so guilty for how in the dark you were keeping your best friend, and how shitty of a friend you had been in general. Bucky obviously picked up on it and walked up behind you as you wrote a quick response.

Sorry, I was in the shower!! But no flaking this time, I promise. 💗 See you tomorrow 🥰

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked as he read your text from over your shoulder. You locked your phone and put it in your pocket as you turned to face him.

“Working,” you said simply. He quirked an eyebrow at you and you proceeded to walk around him before he caught you by the arm, pulled you into him and looked down at you.

“No you’re not,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You bit your tongue before your instinctive response could be voiced and tilted your head back to look up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could manage.

“I’m not?” you said, voice full of disappointment. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Why would you? You don’t need to be working anywhere anymore, princess,” he stated as his arms wrapped around you and your head hit his chest. Your hands found his and you blinked up at him.

“Okay…so I don’t need to, but.. I want to,” you said. Bucky just sucked his teeth and stared down at you a moment, and before he could respond, you spoke again.

“Please, Buck,” you coaxed sweetly, though every last bit of independence and dignity in you was fighting against you to just tell him you were going whether he wanted you to or not instead of asking him for his blessing to do so. The saying, ‘You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar’ ran through your head as you swallowed down the words you were really wanting to say. You spun around in his arms instead and reached up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you.

“Please,” you whispered against his lips as your noses touched. He groaned softly and rolled his eyes before he gave in and kissed you. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss and pulled away to look at him as his hands moved down to your ass.

“That a yes?”

“Fine, but don’t think I’m not gonna have anyone there to keep an eye out,” he warned, causing you to literally bite your tongue as you held back a retort.

“Oh, I’d expect nothing less,” you said sarcastically. He lightly smacked your ass and then let you go, walking to the opposite bedside table and grabbing your plates. You took the half filled mug of now cold coffee and followed him downstairs. He placed the plates in the dishwasher after rinsing them off and then did the same with the mug after taking it from you.

You bit your lip as you watched him move around the kitchen, not exactly sure what to do then. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of Bucky’s chuckle, making your brows furrow as you refocused on him. He shook his head as he looked at you, admiring you.

“What?” you asked, suddenly feel a little self conscious.

“I- ha,” he laughed, “I don’t remember the last time I felt this happy,” he smiled, causing you to swallow hard and look down and away from him.

“Shit, don’t look so sick, sweetheart,”

Your head shot up as you found his eyes and you shook your head.

“No, I- I’m just..I,” you stuttered before taking a deep breath. “I just wish we could have started this way..ya know?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” he responded. You stared at him a moment longer and nodded your head.

“I don’t know what to do now,” you admitted.

“I have to head to the shop later tonight, but until then I really just wanna be around you,” he said as he approached you.

“You always wanna be around me,” you said with an eye roll.

“Yeah, and you and I both know the feeling is growing mutual,” he said as he gently grabbed your chin and leaned down to kiss you.

“So what are we doing, then?” you asked after pulling away. Bucky just shrugged and dropped his hands from your face, moving to lean against the counter.

“We can do whatever you want to do as long as you ask nicely,” he grinned as your jaw clenched in immediate annoyance. “Come on now, sweetheart, you’ve been hiding it so well so far,” he laughed. You huffed and gawked at him a second before replying.

“So you just enjoy testing my limits, then, is that it?” you said as you really took in his meaning. He knew what you had been doing just as well as you knew what he had been doing.

“Apparently just as much as you enjoy testing mine. Glad you finally realized I respond much better to positive reinforcement than I do negative,”

You glared at him as you clicked your tongue.

“This isn’t a very healthy relationship dynamic, you know that, right?”

“It’s working for us, though, isn’t it,” he said as he pushed off the counter and led you to the living room, pulling you onto the couch with him. He had you on his lap in an instant and attacked your neck with kisses and love bites all over again as your hands held his head. You were going to stop him, but only ended up tilting your head back further, granting him more access to you as your nails lightly raked through his hair and along his head. He flipped you onto your back in a swift move you didn’t see coming as he laid you along the couch. His lips were against your ear as he held himself up above you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that, don’t you?” he asked sincerely.

“Mhm,” you nodded. “I think I’m starting to get that, Buck,” you replied quietly, sounding nearly out of breath as you closed your eyes.

“Anything,” he repeated against your skin as he continued kissing every inch of exposed skin he could reach from his position.

“I know. I know you would,” you responded again.

You thought briefly about how stupid both of you were. How fucked up everything had been and how ridiculously you both were acting. But he was right, it did seem to be working for you two. Here you were making out on his couch after having incredible sex and sharing an even more intimate shower together after essentially exploiting your dynamic. And at least you weren’t fighting. In fact, you were sure it would have settled like this one way or another. There’s no defying destiny and at the end of the day, you were soulmates. It may have been dark and mangled and out right fucked at times, but no matter what, you were meant to be together, right?. And now here you found yourself. With Bucky. Just you two. Together. Things weren’t perfect, you didn’t think they’d ever be, but you loved him. And you were tied to him. So you knew it’d have to work out somehow. This could be good. You could heal. You could both heal. You could let this be what it was always meant to be. You were meant to be together and you belonged to one another. Why keep fighting the inevitable? Why make things harder and hurt more when you could just…let yourself let go and trust that Bucky would be there to keep you. To trust that you could trust him. To just let him love you and let yourself love him fully and completely. He couldn’t hurt you again, he wouldn’t. You had to believe that. You had to believe him. It wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses, you were only human. But you knew that despite everything, you were it for Bucky and Bucky was it for you. That was unchangeable. So you stopped trying to change it.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #soft!dark bucky #soft!dark bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker!bucky #soft!dark bucky smut #dark!bucky smut

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loopy-froots · 3 years

Text

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

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kass-storycorner · 3 years

Text

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Hu Tao and Chongyun storyquests the past days. Both deal with the afterlife (well the border between life and death so far) and ghosts. We know both are canon in Genshin, they exist for this world. Now what I’ve been thinking a lot about is … how much angst can I write with that in mind? I always see a lot of these how the characters would react to your death but… yeah, have fun with this. Or not.

The ghost of you

Prompt: You died and the characters are faced with the literal ghost of you.

Genre: Angst, Hurt, no comfort (especially for Xiao)

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao,

Format: text

Word count: 1714

This is not proof-read or anything, I just wanted to get that idea out of my head. I also really want to write this idea out for other characters, so maybe I'll share a part 2 in the future. and yes the title might be a mcr reference and i might have two other fics in my drafts named after mcr songsi had a rough week okay

Zhongli:

He loved you. With all his heart, with every fibre of his being, he loved you so much. Zhongli always knew that his decision to live a life among mortals would cost a price, but in his mind, it was paid with his Gnosis all those years ago. It was not until the first of his mortal friends started to die that Zhongli was reminded of how fragile humans were. Of course, he was aware to a certain degree that he would outlive his friends and even you, he just never considered how quickly a human life was lived. You both had spent an entire life together, and while Zhonglis body did not biologically age, he is able to change his form to his liking - so when you grew old and grey so did he. Most people in Liyue would see the two of take your stroll around the city, holding hands and they were enamoured by the way you still looked at each other, just like a newlywed couple. But you grew older each day until one day, on one of your walks through the city, your collapsed. Zhongli was quick to catch you and the people around rushed towards the two, helping Zhongli getting you to a doctor. However, what was a doctor to do, than to tell Zhongli that your body is giving up? The doctor nor Zhongli can do anything against the flow of time, though Zhongli wished he could. He was not ready to let you go, he was not ready for you to onyl life in his memories until the erosion of the earth will erease you from them.

You layed in the hospital bed, Zhongli right next to you never letting go of your hand, when you took your last breath. He sat next to you for a while, not saying a word, tears running down his face until he heard your voice.

"It's okay," there you stood on the other side of the bed, your dead body between the two of you. In all the years Zhongli lived he had seen more than a few ghosts and he was aware of the human afterlife - though seeing your ghost wasn't something he anticipated. "You're dead", Zhongli said quietly, tears still spilling from his eyes. "I know, love. I know. And I wish I could've stayed with you just a bit longer, I really do. But it's time. You gave me such a wonderful life; we spend so many years together and I am so thankful for it Zhongli. For all the stories you told me, for all the sleepless nights we spend together, for all the memories we made. I loved it. I love you." Zhongli still hadn't let go of your hand, still afraid of letting you go, even though the mind he loved was standing so close to him. "Love," he started, his voice heavy with grief. "I have so many more stories to tell you. Will you stay, just for a while longer?"

At that you had to laugh a bit and oh, how much he already missed your laugh. He just heard it a few hours ago, when you were still alive, but hearing it now just felt so painful. "Zhongli, even 10 lifetimes wouldn't be enough to be able to listen to all of your stories. But I'm so sorry to disappoint you, you know I can't stay."

He knew this just too well. Not only as someone who worked for decades as a consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue, but also as the former Geo-Archon he knew it was better for you to go. It pained him that he could never follow you into the afterlife that was awaiting you, even Zhongli didn't know what awaits you behind the border between life and death. "Then," Zhongli began, standing up and letting go of your cold hand, "let me accompany you."

Xiao:

Continuation for the Xiao one

Xiao refused to go even near the place you died for decades. The day he lost you was still so fresh in his memories, it pained him even more than his karmic debt to think about it. He always told you, when you were still by his side, that when you were in trouble, in danger, to always call his name. You did. You always did and he would be by your side, protecting you from what would’ve harmed you. The only time you refused to call his name in time was the day you died, and all Xiao could do was blame himself. You were visiting at the Inn earlier that day, standing next to him on the balcony talking about something he doesn’t even remember. What he remembers how happy you were, how enthusiastic you talked about it, whatever it was. Somehow though the conversation shifted, and you both ended up fighting – the reason for it was so stupid and it was all his fault. He was just in a bad mood that day and not even your warm presence were able to change it, so he let it out on you. Trying to push you away, again. Xiao cursed himself for how often he did that, how often he would hide how much he loved you, how much he cared for you, behind a mean exterior that only caused you pain. You knew what he was doing and that day, you just had enough. “Stop trying to push me away, Xiao!”, you shouted at him, tears already filling your eyes. You tried to reach for him, but he pulled away. Keeping you at a distance, again. “And you just stop talking, it’s exhausting to hear your voice.” Xiao already hated himself immediately after he said it, but looking back now, knowing what his words caused… it drove him close to madness. “Fine,” you replied, and he could her how much his words hurt you, “then you’ll never hear it again.” With that you left him. He tried to distract himself from the guilt he felt after your fight with his work, slashing through the enemies, spoiling the earth of Liyue with more blood. For nearly a month he didn’t hear you call him, and he was too scared to seek you out. Scared that you wouldn’t want to see him, scared that he ruined it all. When you finally called for him, when he finally heard you say his name – he hoped it was a chance for him to make it up to you. Xiao was not prepared to find your lifeless body, realising that you called his name with your very last breath. It send him into a blind rage, killing the enemies around him that were the cause for your death. When there was nothing left to kill he collapsed next to your corpse, tears spilling from his eyes, chanting your name over and over like a prayer. Asking himself why you hadn’t called him sooner to only remember what he said weeks prior. It was his fault. He couldn’t help it but to blame himself for your death. If he hadn’t said those words, if he hadn’t continuously tried to push you away… you were right. Xiao will never hear your voice again.

He avoided to go even near the place you died. If he hadn’t done that, if he had visited at least once, he would’ve seen your ghost, wandering aimlessly around. At first you were just confused, what had just happened? The last thing you remembered is that you called for Xiao and now? Now you stood in the middle of a forest, no Xiao in sight but also the enemies who cornered you just now were also gone. For how long you wandered around, confused and not sure what had happened you didn’t know. It scared you. You screamed his name, over and over again but you couldn’t hear your own voice. You just couldn’t make a sound.

He didn’t mean to come across that place again. Xiao learned to live with the guilt and grief he felt, just as he had to learn to live with his karmic debt. Still, it hurts more than he likes to admit. So when he stumbled upon the place he lost you all those years ago, he asked himself how he ended up here again. Something was telling him he should come here, but he tried to ignore that voice, that calling. But when he saw your ghostly figure between the trees of the forest, it used to be a plain field when you had died, he froze. Was it really you? “(Y/N)?”, he called out to you. Oh, how long he hadn’t said your name. It felt foreign, but also so familiar at the same time. But you didn’t hear nor see him, you were too lost after years of roaming the fields that grew to a forest – not being able to understand that time passed, that you were dead. Xiao came closer to your ghost and saw how you screamed something, over and over. His name. It was his name. “(Y/N) it’s me, I’m here. Please, I’m here, it’s okay”, his voice was strained and when your face met his – Xiao noticed how you didn’t look at him. You looked right through him, he noticed now how he couldn’t reach you with his words nor his presences. He tried to grab you, but his hand only touched the air. If he could at least hear you call his name. Xiao felt how his tears ran down his face, his heart shattering again in thousand pieces. Why hadn’t he noticed it earlier how you roamed the earth, lost and scared. He saw it in your face. Why didn’t he come here earlier? It pained him to know that you hadn’t found your peace. Xiao went down on his knees, face buried in his hands. The last time he felt so helpless was when he found your dead body, unable to help you. And now? Now it happened again, he had no idea what he could do to help you, to make you see him. From that day on Xiao spend most of his time watching over your ghost, hoping that one day he’ll hear you call out to him again.

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writer-akihiko · 3 years

Note

Hello!

Ikemen sé request

the warlords realizing that Mc is very popular with their soldiers. Sending love letters and stuff.

IkeSen Boys + Popular!MC

This was so cute ahhh although I'm sorry if it's a little short, there's a lot of Ikemen to get through. Thank you and I hope you like this work!

Nobunaga Oda

Nobunaga thought it was quite odd that there were a lot of presents delivered to you... Which he didn't gift...

After some digging, he found out that you had garnered some popularity after a campaign

He was dumbfounded at the idea that other men could be attracted to you

He didn't quite like that, but being the person he is he did tell you his thoughts

You insisted that you wanted to keep some gifts to distribute to your maids. He agreed, but he just buys better gifts for you anyway

He's not as jealous as you'd expect, since the man is also a bit egotistical when it comes to himself and your feelings for him

"Oh... Nobunaga..." You wanted to laugh at how childish he was but it wouldn't be in the right taste.

You stopped your giggling when Nobunaga muttered, "I could transfer whoever sent those gifts to you away..."

"At least let me keep some!"

He silenced you with a quick kiss. "Whatever you like from the pile, I'll purchase better ones from the merchants."

Hideyoshi Toyotomi

He doesn't want to admit that he's jealous, but he is. He unknowingly calls out the soldier that was about to gift you a present in an oh so convenient timing…

He doesn't take it to such extremes, he still respects the other soldiers. Although, he found it quite tempting from time to time to not bring you along for some campaigns

In this case, he wished that Nobunaga hadn't demanded such things of you. He really does appreciate your skills on the field, but he doesn't like that he can't control how much attention you're getting

He only realises it once someone points it out to him, or when someone sends you a letter. Letters are an absolute no from him

"Lord Hideyoshi, what should I do with these letters for YN?"

"Burn them."

"Lord Hideyoshi, what should I do with these letters from the townswomen?"

"Oh, send them to my office-"

YN smacked Hideyoshi up in the head. "You hypocrite."

Mitsunari Ishida

Mitsunari did notice that you gained a lot of attention, but he knew that it was only from your good merits and character

In no way did he ever thought it was romantic, until Mitsuhide pointed it out

He wasn't sure how to feel about it. Sure, he was happy that a lot of people thought you were a wonderful person

However a small inkling of him wanted to keep it to himself

Seeing the multitude of gifts for you, the guilt hit him hard. What if you wanted gifts all along?

"YN, do you like it when those soldiers give you gifts?" He asked, as you opened another gift that consisted of a bunch of fabrics.

"I do appreciate it," You admitted. "But I don't plan to keep them for long. I share any snacks with the maids and fabrics with the seamstresses. Why?"

He didn't reply, except for the blush that bloomed on his cheeks.

You pecked his cheek, understanding what he meant. "You have no reason to be jealous, my sweet angel."

Mitsuhide Akechi

Not a lot of people can read him, and he uses that to his advantage. He sneaks up on those who had planned to give you gifts, and instead direct their attention to another maid or townswoman

In the end, with this strategy, you don't receive much gifts from soldiers. This doesn't work on his fellow warlords however

With you, he doesn't hide his frown when people like Shingen or Masamune send you gifts

He doesn't care for what reason it was for, the gift shall not be touched by you

"Mitsuhide? Have you seen a package from Masamune? He sent some really pretty Oshu fabrics for me…"

He sipped on his bland concoction of tea. "Why my dear, I wonder where it could be…"

You sighed. "You gave it away didn't you? Now I have to write to Masamune- Ah!"

Before you could continue any thoughts, your charming kitsune sweeped you up in his arms, smiling coyly at you. "Write to him? I'm afraid my jealousy won't allow that YN… I'd certainly be interested in writing my thoughts of you on your body…"

Ieyasu Tokugawa

Ieyasu surprisingly doesn't notice any traffic of gifts to you. It might be due to the fact that he publicly ban any gifters from his estate…

You still manage to get some from soldiers passing by or Ieyasu's fellow warlords gifting you as a token of appreciation

Only when you bring the gift home is when he realises how popular you are. He doesn't initially care, but similarly to Hideyoshi, he gets rid of any letters

He doesn't burn them, but he moreso stages it so you'd see adorable Wasabi chewing on the papers

"Hey Ieyasu? Oh-" You dropped to your knees, seeing Wasabi with some paper in its mouth once again. "Wasabi, you should know better than to chew on my letters! Ha… Looks like I have to apologise later on."

"Do you even remember the soldier that gave you the letter?" He looked up from his work to ask you.

You pouted. "No… But I'm sure I can ask around!"

He patted you head. "Don't waste your time on that. The maids should be done with dinner now. Let's go and eat."

Masamune Date

He notices your popularity early on, but he's not too bothered about it. In fact, he shows off that you and him are in a relationship

It might be a 'rubbing salt in wound' move but he doesn't care. He has a thrill of seeing some of his jealous subordinates, which he trusts that it is in all good favour

With the way he approached it, most admired you in a non-romantic way, and for those few that actually do, Masamune opts for a duel as a 'wholesome' way to solve the solution

The duels end up with him winning, and the challenger often with some pointers from Masamune during fighting

You wiped off Masamune's sweat from his brow, wondering why he suddenly went up to that random soldier. "Did something happen?"

"Didn't he give you that gift earlier?" He asked, confused. He put up a good fight, although he'd probably have to answer to Hideyoshi since the boy was under his army…

You shook your head. "It wasn't. He has a twin, and the twin is working under Mitsunari…"

Masamune stood up, groaning. "Looks like I have another duel YN. I'll be back by dinner!"

"H-Hoi! Masamune!"

Kenshin Uesugi

Jealousy plus Uesugi Kenshin equals disaster in Kasugayama Castle

Kenshin was shocked when he saw the servants carrying the presents in, specifically addressed to 'Princess YN'

No one could stop him from drawing his sword and rushing to the training grounds, where every poor soldier who passed by was forced to duel him

Yukimura and Sasuke were already battered from the multiple duels they had to face. You pitied the poor souls, so you sent some of your maids to heal up the soldiers that faced his wrath

Holding one of your many bunny children, you walked up to your soon-to-be husband, smiling at him. "Kenshin my dear, we should be on our way to our stroll…"

He tugged off the upper part of his kimono, his torso and upper body dripping with sweat from the fights. "I'll be with you YN, I just need to cool off. I shouldn't dirty you with my sweat."

For as much as you wanted to be proper, you couldn't help but stare at your perfectly sculpted fiance. "T-Take you time my dear."

Sasuke Sarutobi

For the many things he was dense about, this was not one of them. He saw the way some of the Nokizaru looked at you

He of course told them off, but he still had an inkling that some didn't get the memo

Within whatever wisdom he had left, he somehow consulted Kenshin on how to resolve this, which ended up Sasuke battling about half of the Nokizaru

You had no words on why half the men were injured and why your boyfriend was bruised as well. Initially you thought it was from some dispute, but Yukimura so kindly filled you in

You tightened the bandage around Sasuke's arm, giving a disappointed look to the group of ninja. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"We're sorry Princess YN."

"And what do you have to say, Sarutobi Sasuke?" You huffed.

"I won't go to Kenshin for romantic advice."

"Good."

Shingen Takeda

He is not oblivious to your charms, as well as the way other people were attracted to your charms

He'd be lying if he said he weren't jealous. Of course he was, but he didn't plan to do anything malicious to whoever sent you gifts

They were free to waste their money and/or time, it wasn't his business. He'd however, make it clear that you were taken

He's not above doting you in public, and sneaking kisses in the markets or kissing you as the rain goes by. He's very calm about it, since he sees the way you were attracted to him

"S-Shingen! We're going to a war council!" You patted his face away from your own, as the much taller man held you in his embrace.

"Embarrassed Princess?" He teased, giving you his sweetest smile reserved just for you. "But we've done many affectionate things in public…" "People will see!"

He kissed your cheek. "Let them see how in love we are."

Yukimura Sanada

He is another victim of Kenshin's not-so great love advice, hesitating to pick up his spear at anyone who sent you glances. Well… it was Kenshin's advice… and no way he'd risk getting teased by Shingen by asking him!

He then opted for a silent jealous strategy, keeping you by him and covering you with his body everytime he felt someone looking at you

You wondered why he was acting so odd, after all, you just wanted to go on a nice stroll with Yuki and Muramasa

Luckily, to Yuki's benefit, Muramasa is a good wolf who knows to rip apart any letters that come to you or hound after any men that look at you the wrong way

"Is it just me, or is Muramasa a little more energetic than usual?" You asked your boyfriend as you folded your kimono underneath you to sit on the impromptu picnic blanket.

Yuki shook his head, handing you over the basket of food. "He's probably just excited to see us… I think…" He said, as Muramasa runs off into the bushes with what he could see was a paper in his mouth.

Kennyo

Kennyo doesn't really know what to do with this information. He's quite unsure if you wanted the attention or not

He thought the issue didn't need to be brought to your attention, as most of those around you are most likely his subordinates

He could… simply remind them of the holistic teachings that was preached to them

It does a good effect, as most quickly dispelled any sort of romantic attraction

He doesn't mind his subordinates admiring you out of respect, as he thinks you deserve such respect for your deeds

You clapped your hands after hearing your boyfriend's sermons. "You impress me every time my beloved," You said, pecking him on the cheek. "I'm always in awe when you deliver your preachings."

He shied away from you, "My dear, you praise me so…" He couldn’t stop repeating those praises over and over in his head, wanting to pen down the exact words you said. "Thank you YN."

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