#I do have two I haven’t touched yet so I can still respond to those properly luckily

[coconutcows]

I answered all the asks in my inbox that I never saw over the past few months and saved them as drafts so I could post them here and there and they’re all gone now 😑 I’m sorry

If you’ve sent me an ask over the past couple months, I’ve seen it and I appreciate them I really do, more than you might think. I’ve been on Tumblr for about ten years now and the past few months is the first time I’ve really interacted with people on here.

Someone said they hoped I was ok - I definitely wasn’t when you sent that message lol, but I am doing better now, not 100% but definitely better ^-^

Someone said it was nice to make my mother the gnome - she loved it!!! I gave it to her before she left for work and it changed her whole mood. And I know you sent it awhile ago but if you haven’t seen it, the spider did turn out quite well if I do say so myself:)

About the exclusivity- I’ve hated exclusivity with a burning passion since I started collecting Monster High dolls when I was a teen, and it’s gotten worse since I’ve seen it with video games and things. I’m not sure how much economics has to do with it, if at all truthfully. I think it boils down to corporate greed knowing fans will pay large amounts for special things to prove they are better fans and them taking payments for exclusivity which just limits their sales in the long run. Leaving a collectable up for three months to order is always going to net them more money than leaving orders up from an hour. They only think about short term.

To the person who sent the message about SSRIs- I’m extremely grateful you sent me that info!!! I saw the ask just before I got really sick for that two weeks, the meds I was talking about are antidepressants and they are SSRIs. When I got sick I was in so much pain and my mom got me some sinus pain relief meds. There was a warning against using them with MAOIs so if you hadn’t sent that I either would have taken them anyway at a risk or I would have suffered with the immense sinus pain and pressure. I do wonder if SSRIs can also affect dreams, I’ve been having a lot more dreams lately

Again, I’m sorry I never answered them earlier!!! I’m having troubles with my phone the way it show’s notifications now makes it easy to miss stuff. But! I will now check my inbox now that there are some very sweet people sending me the occasional message :)

Thank you again and please try to have a wonderful day!!! You deserve it!!!

[mirkoluvs]

★ SUPER SHY

sanji (opla) x fem reader

genre: angst to comfort !!

notes: request !! this is a bit of a long one… also, yes. the title is inspired by new jeans hehe. also, request have been closed for a bit because my inbox is flooded… i appreciate the support and will open requests again soon once i finish most of them!

you were sitting as you listened to nami complain about how the crew was running low on money because of luffy’s food needs. you thought about bringing up her clothing addiction, but since you wanted the ship to stay intact, you kept your mouth shut.

“and i always tell him that we have enough to last us in the kitchen, but he never listens! i swear next time he spends money on food without telling me i’ll-“, “nami!”, sanji called out, walking out the kitchen with a tray of drinks. he quickly made his way over to the table that the two of you were at.

“nami, take this. it’ll help you calm down. i know luffy can be stressful”, sanji smiled, handing nami the drink. “why thank you, sanji”, she smiled back, taking the drink from his hand. “hey! what did i do?!”, luffy shouted from the front of the boat where he was watching usopp fish. sanji simply didn’t answer, continuing to smile at nami as he pushed off luffy’s whining.

finally, he turned to you. “for you”, sanji quickly said, handing you your drink and walking off. your eyes narrowed at the short lived interaction. it seemed like he didn’t care about you as much as he did nami. maybe you were overthinking it. but what if you weren’t? had you done something wrong? did you offend him or something?

“y/n?”, nami called out, tapping your shoulder. you jumped at the sudden touch, snapping out of it. “are you okay?”, she asked, a small bit of concern on her face. “yeah, i’m fine. i’m gonna go to the bathroom”, you smiled, quickly dismissing yourself. before she could further question you, you were already gone.

you quickly shut the bathroom door behind you, letting out a sigh. looking up, you stared at your reflection in the mirror. walking closer, you began picking at parts of your face.

is there something wrong with me? sure, i’m not as pretty as nami or other girls, but am i that bad that someone like sanji would barely acknowledge me…? he flirts with every woman he can, yet he always ignores me… that says a lot, huh?

before you could even realize it, there were tears streaming down your face. insecurities were swallowing you whole, it was unbearable. you leaned against the door, sliding down it as you tucked your knees against your chest and laid your head on your knees.

“hey, who’s in there? i gotta use the bathroom”, zoro asked, banging on the door. you jumped at his sudden presence. “sorry, i’ll be out soon”, you replied back, your voice unexpectedly quivering. you didn’t hear a response for a moment, the silence making you a bit nervous. “i’ll just wait, it’s fine”, he replied. before you could respond, he walked away. you sighed as you rested your head against the door.

the day passed by quickly as everyone was seated eating the dinner sanji had prepared. “where’s y/n? nobody ever skips dinner”, sanji asked, holding an extra plate. everyone looked around, shrugging. “i haven’t seen her since this afternoon, she might’ve fell asleep early”, nami answered. sanji rose an eyebrow but didn’t choose to question it.

after everyone, or so he thought, had left the kitchen, he started cleaning up what was left. “what the hell are you still doing in here?”, sanji groaned, being faced with the sight of the green-haired swordsman when he turned around. “quit whining, i can go wherever i want”, zoro fought back.

“did you say something to y/n earlier?”, he asked, picking up a random fruit on the counter. sanji rose an eyebrow as he continued scrubbing the dishes, “no? why are you asking me that”, he asked. “well, i saw her leave right after you gave nami and her those drinks. then i went to the bathroom and she was in there. sounded like she was crying or something”, he told him. sanjis eyes widened at what he said, pausing everything he was doing. “she was crying…?”, sanji muttered, turning to look at zoro who was playing catch with a random apple. “yeah, i guess. but if you say you didn’t do anything then maybe it was something else”, he shrugged, placing the apple down and walking out. sanji stayed in the same position he was in for a moment, thinking about what zoro said. he didn’t remember ever offending you, so what could’ve happened? he sighed, finishing up the last bit of the dishes left before closing up the kitchen.

soon enough, everything was packed away and sanji was able to go to sleep. he let out a yawn as he closed the kitchen door, rubbing his eyes. “finally, i’m exhausted- SHIT”, he exclaimed in shock, running into someone. “who the hell- y/n?”, he questioned in surprise. your eyes were wide as you realized who you had run into. you muttered small curses under your breath as you began to back away. “sorry, i’ll get going”, you started, beginning to turn around as you started to walk away. “no, wait”, sanji interfered, grabbing your wrist. your eyes widened at the motion. “were you gonna try to get leftovers?”, he asked. you let out a light laugh, trying to skim over the topic. “what? no! i just- well…”, you stuttered. yeah, you were busted.

“why weren’t you at dinner? nobody ever skips dinner”, sanji asked. his hand was still on your wrist as he looked into your eyes, a small bit of concern being prominent. “wasn’t hungry”, you muttered, looking away from him. he rose an eyebrow at your odd behavior, something was up and he knew it. “you don’t expect me to believe that when i just caught you trying to sneak leftovers, right?”, he asked, cocking his head to the side. “it doesn’t matter, just forget it. im going to bed”, you sighed, trying to pull your hand away from his hold. “tell me what’s wrong, y/n. did something happen? did someone say something?”, he asked, trying to look you in the eyes, something you were dodging.

“where is this concern suddenly coming from?”, you muttered just loud enough so he could hear you. that left him even more confused than before, his eyebrows tightening as he tried to figure out what you meant. the silence finally pushed you to look at him. you wanted to scoff at his confused expression. “you don’t care about me like the others, and you don’t have to pretend to because it’s just us here”, you told him, your voice a bit stern. his eyes widened at your words, shocked and lost. “wait, what? where is this coming from?”, he asked, a mix of concern and confusion lacing his words. “you always avoid me, sanji, and it hurts. it hurts a lot. you don’t look at me the same way you look at nami and other girls, you always keep our conversations short, hell, sometimes you don’t even look at me when we’re talking. i get it, maybe i’m not pretty like nami, or as entertaining as luffy and usopp, but is that really enough of a reason to hate me?”, you ranted, your voice cracking. once you started, you couldn’t get yourself to stop, it was a never ending pile of word vomit.

once you finished, you sighed, sniffling as you wiped a few tears running down your face. the silence was deafening as you looked at the ground, anxiously waiting for his response. “…is that really what you think?”, he finally muttered, his voice just loud enough so you could hear him. your silence clearly told him what your answer was. “y/n, look at me”, he asked. you remained still, your eyes staring daggers into the ground. he sighed, gently moving your head with two fingers so you’d face him. “listen to me when i say this. i do not hate you. it’s the complete opposite of that, actually. if i knew what i was doing made you feel like this, i would’ve stopped being such a wimp”, he sighed. you rose an eyebrow at his choice of words. “wimp?”, you questioned. “the truth is that i really, really like you. so much that i become a nervous wreck around you. that’s why i kept our conversations so short and never looked you in the eye. cause if i did, i’d probably explode on the spot. but to think that because i was such a coward that i had you feeling like this, had you skipping a meal all because i was nervous. i’m such an asshole”, he spoke, his regret being notable in his tone.

your eyes were blown open at his words, your jaw a bit agape. this whole time you thought he hated your guts, but in reality, it was the complete opposite. he was just nervous around you. you didn’t even know someone like him could get nervous around women. before you could reply, you felt his arms wrap around you, knocking the breath out of you due to shock. “im sorry, y/n. please forgive me. it hurts to see you cry, and it’s even worse knowing it’s my fault”, he apologized, his voice dripping with sorrow. you opened your mouth to speak, but you couldn’t even find words. you were shocked to say the least. sanji took the silence as a form of not accepting his apology, so he sighed. “it’s alright, i understand, i’ll-“, “NO! no, wait. i’m just shocked, that’s all… i forgive you… it’s alright”, you yelped, grabbing onto the sides of his arms. his eyes were wide for a moment, but quickly softened. a small smile grew on his face as he looked at you .

“you know what would be a nice make-up gift, though?”, you started. “what is it? i’ll do anything, you name it”, he answered quickly, pulling away from you to look you in the eyes. just as you were about to speak, your stomach let out a loud grumble. the two of you froze for a second. “guess my stomach spoke for me, huh?”, you laughed. sanji let out a light chuckle.

“one fresh plate coming up!”

© mirkoluvs. please do not copy, modify, or repost on other platforms. thank you !!

[webbluvrsugar]

missing shy!dorky!ethan hours so, what about ethan x reader, where the reader is part of the woodsboro gang and what not, and they’ve kind of been hooking up in secrecy and going pit and what not, and ethan asks reader what they are?

and they’re both so shy and its cute 😭

a/n: oooo anon you know your stuff!!!

“what are we?” — Ethan Landry edition.

warning: not revised (sorry ya’ll i have like 0 time today :/)

You’re both sitting on top of your bed, Ethan lied to your friend group that he had Econ, and conveniently, you also had something with your parents this weekend and the group just took it as a mere coincidence, but now, when you’re both facing each other, eyes closed, lips together in a sweet kiss while his hands clench on his sweats and yours on the sheets, — you’re both too afraid of crossing a boundary you haven’t crossed yet, even if you already crossed all of those. — your lips moving against his with slight desperation, hands itching to touch him, and as soon as those hands raise slowly to meet his face, his own meet your shoulders to separate the two of you.

“Wait—wait, can I..” he swallows, his cheeks red and flushed as his eyes meet yours. “Can I ask you a question?”

His voice is full of uncertainty, but still, you nod and lean forward, pressing a short peck to his lips, he lightly groans into it. “Yeah, yeah, what is it?” You pull back.

“Look so, I know we’ve just been… uhh… hooking up ‘n stuff and I don’t wanna press you or anything and—and—“ you raise an eyebrow. “And that you probably down want anything but—“ he tries to finish, hesitating in the process, so you just cut him off.

“Ethan, just say it.” You reassure, letting out a sigh.

He stays silent for a while, swallowing dry as he looks away for a single moment before driving his gaze back to yours, you can almost hear his breathing quickening, and that’s when you realise, whatever he wants to say — it really is serious.

“What are we?” He asks and you raise your brows. Oh, that. Shit. “Are we casual? Are we — are we just.. uhm.. are we just friends?”

You breathe in and out, the silence in the room turns uncomfortable this time, especially because he looks so expectant and really, you don’t know how to explain the way you feel for him so this time, you’re shy too.

“I —“ your brows furrow, your tongue wets your lips before you finally respond to him. “I don’t know… what do you want us to be?”

Honestly, Ethan doesn’t know what he wants you guys to be, he just knows that he feels his heart quickening every time he’s near you, that his hands shivers and that his palms get sweatier, that his stomach feels funny, that his breathing’s uneven — that he can barely form a phrase.

“I’m not… sure.” He sighed in relief. “I just, I like you a lot.”

He leans forward again, you lean forward two, his body almost feels like a magnet by the way it’s pulling you in.

“That’s fine, we can just.. we can just be us,” you whisper, he can feel a shiver down his neck. “And we’ll decide afterwards.”

He nods, one of his hands cup your cheek before he’s kissing you again.

[1pepsiboy]

Friends to lovers - Matt Sturniolo smut (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 1.2k

warnings: kissing, dry humping, matt saying babe

A/N: sorry if this seems a little clunky?? I know it's not my best friends to lovers smut. The beginning isn't strong, just hang in there please!

***

All of you are hanging out in the living room, watching hockey on the TV, since it was shockingly a rainy day in LA. You and Nathan were visiting from Boston. A surprise Laura arranged to celebrate the triplets newest milestone. 

This visit has felt different between you and Matt. Nick and Chris, the friendships were still as they always have been; nothing awkward. But you and Matt have always been the closest and he’s been sort of distant since you got there. 

Chris looks over his shoulder. “Hey (y/n), can you grab me a pepsi?” 

Matt rolls his eyes. “Chris, you have two working feet, go get it yourself.” 

“I know that! I could just sense (y/n) was about to get up and go to the kitchen, right (y/n)?” Chris defends his request. 

You look between the two idiots with a cocked brow. “No, I wasn’t Chris. B-” 

Matt whacks Chris’s arm. “Hah! Go get it, Chri-”

“But I don’t mind getting it,” you finish. 

You got up from where you were resting against the couch, Nick had been painting your nails. After you take a pepsi out of the fridge and give it to Chris, you sit between the two on the couch. Chris wraps his arm around your shoulders and gives you a squeeze. 

“Thanks, you’re the best.” He cheeses a smile. 

You laugh under your breath. “No problem.” 

Suddenly, Matt gets up and stoops off to his room without a single word. All of you look at each other in confusion. 

“Matt!” Chris calls. “Come back out here!”

Nick yells, “Matthew Bernard!” 

“Fuck off!” Matt responds from behind the closed door. 

Instinctively, you stand and wave the others off. “I’ll go check on him.”

You knock on his door, turning the doorknob to see if it was unlocked. “Matt?”

“I said fu-” Matt swivels around in his gaming chair, headset already on as if he’s going to start a game. “Oh, sorry (y/n).”

You close the door and sit on the edge of his bed, hands in your lap. “Matt, what’s wrong? Is it about Chris? He was just joking around, you know that.”

“No- I mean, yeah a little…” He chews on his bottom lip and then brings his thumbnail into the equation. 

“Matt… Please talk to me. It just feels like… like we’ve been off since I got here.”

He furrowed his brows. “Nothing’s been off.”

You cock a brow now. “Let’s see… You’ve barely wanted to be near me, like we haven’t had a single late night one on one talk yet and I miss those… and then just now you acted weird when Chris asked me to do something for him and touched me. He’s always been like that and it never mattered before.”

Now Matt looks down at his hands in his lap, slouching more and more into the chair. “We’re fine, (y/n). I promise."

You bite your lip, then before you could chicken out, you say, “I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I also can’t keep this in anymore… I like you, Matt.”

His head raises, his eyes piercing into you with… surprise? Then a goofy smile spreads on his lips. “I… I like you too, (y/n). That’s why I’ve been acting kinda weird. I wanted to keep my distance until I figured out the right time to tell you.”

“Really fucking weird,” you laugh. “I thought that I, like, did something.”

Matt shakes his head. 

It hits you that he feels the same way and your stomach flutters. “Where- How- What do we do now?” 

“I don’t know.” Matt giggles. “Go on a date?” 

“Do you think this will make the group dynamic awkward?”

“Well… Nick and Chris kinda already know that I like you. I can’t hide anything from them. Nathan has a hunch I think."

You blush furiously. “Think they know I like you?” 

“Probably.” He chuckles.

You flop backwards on his bed, hiding your face in your hands. “Oh god, that’s so embarrassing.” 

Other hands carefully remove yours and Matt hovers over your body, very close. “It’s not. It’s feelings, you know? Hard to hide them.” 

The heat of his body is super apparent now and your mind fogs, forgetting what you’re discussing. You clear your throat and pull yourself backwards until you’re at his headboard. 

“I think until we figure out what we are, we should probably keep a little more distance between our bodies,” you state. 

“Okay, I understand.”

Matt walks around and lays down on the other end of the bed. “Is this okay?” 

You nod. 

“Should we watch something?” he asks, pointing to the TV. 

You nod again. You let him choose a random movie on Prime. As the movie starts, his hand falls close to yours. Despite your words, you couldn’t stop yourself from linking your fingers together. You let your eyes trail from your hands and up his tattooed arm, and then they land on his jawline. His soft lips were pursed a little bit. 

All critical thinking flees your mind. 

You move closer to him, your leg resting between his.

“I thought-” 

“Sshh. I take it back.” You press your lips against his. They are as soft as they look, and taste so good. The two of you fall in sync so easily. His hands brush through your hair as yours graze his back. Your thigh begins to rub against his covered cock. 

“Babe- I mean, (y/n)... Sorry, fuck.”

Your ears perk up, a sly smile spreads on your lips. “Call me babe again.”

Now a sly grin sets on his face and he rests his hand in the crook of your neck. “Babe.” 

“Mmhm.” You bite your lip and begin to rub against him again. 

“What if someone walks in?” he breathes. 

You shake your head. “That’s their own fault. The doors shut.” You don’t let up and you can feel his dick start to harden. 

He groans under his breath, taking in a breath between his teeth. “You’re right, I’ll shut up.”

Both of you sit up more so it’s easier. You find yourselves kissing again. You ride on his leg, making sure to keep close to his crotch. The panties under your pjs are soaking up by the second. You glance down quickly and notice a darker area on Matt’s sweatpants. 

“Matt… your sweatpants,” you pant. 

He leaves kisses on your neck and then on your covered nipples. “I don’t care, babe.” 

That one word fuels you to go even harder, your hands flatten against his headboard. You ache for him so bad.

“I’m gonna…” you moan. 

“Me too,” he whimpers. 

Matt inches his leg up, hitting the perfect spot. You keel over, your face mixing into his hair as your insides burn and cause your body to tremble. 

Matt digs his hands into your tank and his pants beg to be shut up. You lower yourself to connect your lips again. The sound of soft droplets creates a beautiful ambiance. 

“I’m sorry about your pants,” you mumble. 

“I said I didn’t care,” he rasps under his plump lips. “I have others.” 

A slow smirk spreads on your lips as you gaze into his eyes. “Do you have another pair of panties for me?” 

His face goes pale. “Shit… no, sorry.” 

“That’s fine.” You nip his ear. “I’ll just go commando in a pair of your other sweats.”

*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 26

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military Universe

Words: 5k

TW: Violence

Masterlist

———————————————————————

 Wednesday, December 23; 8:00 PM - Home

A few days have passed since I returned to Barcelona. I’ve never enjoyed a vacation so much. There hasn't been a single moment of boredom. Mapi has practically been living at my place since I got back. As usual, her parents are off living their own lives without her, so she’s living hers without them. Sunday was fantastic. Joan was over the moon when we took him to the amusement park. He hadn’t realized I’d be staying for two whole weeks, so when he understood I’d be here longer than usual, he was ecstatic.

I haven’t told him yet that I’ll be leaving earlier for New Year’s, but he’ll probably be too busy to notice. As always, my mom and Marcus will take him to celebrate New Year’s with friends who have a child his age. In any case, I’ll make a resolution to keep in touch with him more regularly. He’s missed me so much that she hasn’t left our side even once. Not during our movie and TV marathon on Saturday, not during our day at the skate park the next day, and especially not when we went to the ice rink. Those were incredible days.

Today, we decided it would be a relaxation day. Joan is at a friend’s house, so we spent our morning at the beauty salon. We got waxed and had our nails done for Christmas Eve. My family will be coming over tomorrow. I usually take care of myself, but this time we wanted to be pampered. Well, it was mainly Mapi who was dying for it. She couldn’t let go of the idea. So, I sucked it up and wore clothes that didn’t require me to undress completely. She’s lucky I appreciate the results. We continued the day with lunch at a restaurant in town, and then we went to the pool. It was so much fun. It seems like it just opened, so there weren’t many people, and we could relax as we should.

Now, here we are, standing in line for the cinema. It must be around 8:00 PM. It’s a way to do something relaxing without being cooped up in my room. I found out while she was in the shower that she’s been harassed by Ana. Apparently, Ana is sorry and wants Mapi back. I was relieved to see she hadn’t responded to any of the texts, but also slightly hurt that she hadn’t told me. I respect her silence, though. I haven’t brought it up with her, afraid she might shut down. That doesn’t stop me from being a good friend. I noticed she’s been glancing at her phone whenever she gets the chance today. I sense she’s about to crack, so I’ve done everything in my power to keep her busy. It’s clear she’s not doing as well as she pretends, although I imagine our days full of activities help her not think about it.

It’s time to pay for our tickets. I don’t even know what movie we’re going to see. I let Mapi choose since I haven’t been keeping up with new releases while I was at Camp Wiegman. We have similar tastes, so I’m not worried. Mapi insists on stopping by the concession stand for some popcorn. I take the opportunity to grab a drink, which she ends up getting too. We then have our tickets validated and head into our theater. We’re half an hour early, so I’m not surprised to find the place empty. We settle in a corner at the top. Mapi is never quiet during a movie, no matter where we are. She has the annoying habit of commenting on every action. Needless to say, it annoys everyone around us. It used to irritate me too, but over time, I started commenting with her. We’ve gotten to the point where if we’re watching a movie at home, we pick one we’ve already seen to make sure we understand the content.

I still make the effort to go to the movies with her, thinking I can always rewatch the film online if it seems good. It reminds me that Lucy had offered to lend me some movies, but she never did. I doubt she remembers. That conversation must have been over a month ago. I feel a pang of guilt, realizing I haven’t written to her since returning to Miami. Then again, she hasn’t written to me either. After all, she’s just my supervisor; I shouldn’t worry. She’s made it clear more than once that we can’t be friends while I’m her student.

"Isn’t that Miller and Bryan down there?" Mapi asks me.

I scan the area, looking for two heads that could be our friends. I smile when I spot them a few rows below us, completely on the opposite side. It’s impossible for them to see us. I notice their little gestures of affection, which are so cute.

"Yeah, it looks like it."

"Should we call out to them? I mean, we could see them at the same time."

"They’re on a date, leave them alone. We’ll catch up with them after the movie."

Mapi nods in agreement. The lights dim shortly after. To be honest, I’m still having a hard time seeing them as a couple, but they’re so adorable. To think that a few years ago, it was us as a couple and them as best friends. At least Mapi and I were lucky not to lose each other. She clumsily apologized for kissing me spontaneously. I couldn’t blame her for needing affection. Few people manage to stay on good terms with their ex, but I’m glad we did. She was my rock back then, and I won’t forget what she did for me. My feelings were mixed when we first reconnected, but I quickly pushed them aside, realizing it wasn’t mutual anymore. I never knew if that was truly the case, but I guess she was just protecting herself.

The ads fade away, and the movie begins. As I predicted, Mapi comments on every action, but today it’s a bit different. She also starts complimenting the women in the film. She seems to find them beautiful and amazing She’s lucky I’m  lesbianand find some truth in her words; otherwise, I’d get bored quickly. I join in, telling her my preferences. I’ve always preferred brunettes, even dark-haired ones,I find them more attractive and mysterious.

“Tell me an actress you find hot.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Just because. Someone you’d want in your bed.”

“I don’t want anyone in my bed.”

“You know exactly what I mean! Like if you had the chance to go on a date with an actress... Or a celebrity, whatever. Who would you choose?”

“Your question is really dumb.”

“Come on, play along. Give me a name.”

I think about it, running my hand through my hair. I have no idea. I don’t have a favorite actress or anything like that.

“I don’t know. Mila Kunis?” I say randomly.

“Mila Kunis?” she repeats. “Hmm… Not bad, true. Does she look like Bronze?”

I roll my eyes. And there she goes again, bringing up the subject. I don’t know what’s gotten into her with Lucy lately, but she keeps asking me questions about her.

“No,” I shut down.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just that I wonder what she looks like. I have the right to be curious. Here, compare her to Mila Kunis so I can get an idea.”

I can’t believe it when she pulls up a picture of the actress on her phone. I already know she won’t leave me alone until she gets her answers. I sigh and look at the photo carefully to make a comparison.

“Lucy has a much finer nose and much fuller lips. As for her eyes, they’re almond-shaped and green, much more sparkling than the dark eyes Mila Kunis has in this picture. And her hair leans more towards a brown shade than black.”

Mapi nods seriously. She seems to be creating an image of my supervisor in her head. Her silence makes me wonder if I went too far with my details. I realize just how much I’ve observed her to know so much about her appearance. She finally turns to me with a small smile forming on her lips.

“She must be cute.”

“She is.”

“Is she taller than you?”

I think back, trying to recall moments that might give me an answer to this question. I nod eventually.

“Yeah. But only by a few centimeters.”

“So, you claim you’re not interested in her, but you can tell me details like that about her?”

A smug smile spreads across her face, and I realize my mistake. I knew it was a bad idea to tell her all that.

“You’re exasperating, Mapi.”

“And yet, I didn’t even point out that you called her Lucy. So that’s her little name?”

I groan at her teasing. I slowly run my hand over my face to avoid losing my temper.

“Where’s her part in her hair?”

“Mostly in the middle, but sometimes she moves it to the left side.”

The words slip out before I can hold them back. I’m surprised myself at how easily I answered. How did I retain such subtle information about her? Damn brain. Mapi mocks me without restraint.

“Just as I thought.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, no, not at all,” she smiles foolishly.

“Yeah, whatever,” I mumble. 

I sink into my seat, crossing my arms, clearly upset that my mind could betray me like that. How did I answer so instinctively? Lucy is my supervisor. Sure, she’s beautiful and attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested.

Mapi tries to insist one more time, but she’s met with "shhhhht" sounds from all around. I think we’ve reached our chatter limit. It doesn’t seem to calm Mapi, who starts laughing at every scene that’s even slightly funny. No matter how much I ask her to calm down, it feels like she’s doing it on purpose to annoy our neighbors. They’re starting to get really angry, but fortunately, the movie is coming to an end. I wouldn’t have bet on our safety if it had lasted any longer. We hurry out of the theater as soon as the credits roll to avoid facing the hateful glares of the other viewers. Sometimes I wonder if we’re really civilized. Right now, I’d say no. I instantly regret our rush when we run into the one person we would’ve wanted to avoid on this earth. Mapi instinctively takes a defensive stance in front of me. Feli doesn’t take her eyes off me for a second, as if I’m the only one there.

- "Ona-..."

- "Don’t talk to her," Mapi interrupts in a sharp tone.

- "That’s not for you to decide."

- "Forget it. Let’s go, Mapi..."

I grab her arm, and I couldn’t say if it’s to pull her away with me or to stop her from doing something she might regret—or not. Mapi stays rooted to the spot, glaring daggers at my ex. I can understand her urge to tear her apart for what she did, right here and now. However, this is neither the time nor the place. All I want is to get out of here. I realize that’s not her intention when she violently shakes off my grip.

- "Get out of the way," she growls.

- "No," she says, stepping forward. "You know, Ona... I thought I’d see you again after what I injected you with."

A shiver runs down my spine as she admits this, never taking her eyes off me. No... I can’t believe it. She didn’t just say that.

- "I’m disappointed to see you in such a normal state..."

I feel myself wavering as she manages to slip past Mapi’s defenses to stroke my hand. Her gesture, which should be gentle, sends me spiraling back into a whirlpool of memories. I’m disconnected from my senses until Mapi’s fist slamming into Feli’s face brings me back to reality. Her punch is so powerful that she crashes to the ground, her mouth agape.

- "That’s for what you did to my best friend. And this is for sleeping with my girlfriend, you bitch!"

Her words are followed by a kick to her stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mapi this angry. I’m so caught up in the scene that I jump when an arm wraps around my shoulders. I struggle against the unexpected contact, but calm down when I see Bryan by my side. Meanwhile, Miller is grabbing my best friend by the waist, pulling her away from Feli before the situation escalates further. Security has been called. They arrived just in time to restrain my ex, who was about to fight back. The guys managed to defuse the situation by announcing our departure. However, Mapi isn’t willing to leave it at that.

"Don't let her go!" she spits out. "She's gone mad, and she's stalking my friend. She even just admitted in front of everyone that she drugged her to get her back! You better not let her follow us, or I'll press charges against you!"

"Mapi, that's enough," says Miller, trying to calm her down.

"No, it's not enough! That bitch deserves what’s coming to her!"

"Let's just leave, please."

Bryan nods and leads me towards the exit. Thankfully, Miller is strong enough to drag Mapi out with us after apologizing to the officers. I'm struggling to process the whole encounter. It feels like I'm in shock. Mapi keeps cursing under her breath to vent her frustration, which isn't helping me pull myself together. If the guys hadn't intervened, things could've gone really wrong. It's only when we get outside that Mapi notices my state. She immediately pulls me into her arms.

"Are you okay?" she murmurs.

I want to answer her, but no words come out. I try to nod to reassure her, but it’s all lies. Feli drugged me. She really drugged me to make me relapse. How can I be okay? I can't even tell if she went further because I have no memory of it. For all I know... No, I don't even want to think about it.

"How about we forget this whole incident by grabbing a drink?" Miller suggests. "We wanted to catch up, so now's the time."

Mapi agrees without consulting me, so I have no choice but to go along. Miller drives us there in his car. Mapi and I are in the back. She's set her anger aside to try to lift my spirits. It's a lost cause, but I appreciate the effort. When we get to the bar, I wait just long enough to order a drink before excusing myself. I need to be alone and get some air. Mapi didn’t want to let me go out alone, but Miller convinced her. I couldn’t be more grateful. I sit on the curb once outside, burying my head in my arms to collect my thoughts. The evening has gone by too fast. I can't fully grasp everything that happened. After a while, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fidget with it, debating whether to call her or not. I realize I should've done it days ago. I muster up the courage to do it now. One ring... Two... Three... My heart stops when the beeping ends.

"Hello?"

Her voice echoes in my head. I can't find the words to speak. My lower lip trembles so much it affects me. I never thought hearing her voice would make me feel so relieved.

"Ona?" she presses, sensing my silence.

I let my head fall back into my arms as a sob escapes, one I can't hold back. Why do I always turn to her only when I’m not okay? She deserves so much better, even if she doesn’t want me as a friend.

"I'm sorry for calling so late..." I say between sniffles.

« It’s not late in Manchester " she replies calmly. "What's going on?"

"No... I—We’re halfway through the week... I- I should’ve called you much sooner," I murmur.

"It doesn’t matter, as long as you're okay. But you're not, are you?"

"I'm sorry for only talking to you when I need something," I say, choking up.

"Hey, that’s not true, and you know it."

"Yes, it is!" I cry out.

"Don’t raise your voice like that," she scolds me.

"S-sorry... I-I shouldn’t have."

She sighs long and hard, making me cry even harder. I feel so pathetic. I shouldn’t have called her now. I couldn’t even talk to Mapi, so there’s no way I’d be able to do it with Lucy either. I should've waited until I was more composed.

"Hey, Ona. I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to tell me something. Anything," she orders sternly.

"You don’t have the right to give me orders from afar," I say, managing a weak smile.

I joke to lighten the mood. I hear her laugh, which warms my heart. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and tighten my jacket, remembering I’m wearing hers. I couldn't find one that suited me when we were at the mall. I guess it’s because I’m already too attached to this one.

"I have every right over you. Have you forgotten?"

"It seems I have," I murmur.

"Enough joking... You didn’t call for no reason, did you?"

I groan, shaking my head. I feel foolish now that she's voicing the truth. I would've hung up a long time ago if I were her.

"Come on, spill it. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t need to."

I rest my head on my arm, thinking for a moment. I do need this, that’s for sure, but how do I say it without breaking down completely? A silence falls between us that neither of us breaks. She’s waiting for an answer.

"It’s her..." I finally whisper.

"Her? You’ll have to be clearer if you want me to understand anything," she chuckles.

"Feli, my ex, the junkie. S-she’s the one who drugged me the other night. W-We ran into her with Mapi, and she admitted it. I—"

"Hey, calm down. Why are you reacting like this? Isn’t this supposed to be good news?" she asks. "It proves it wasn’t you who did it. That’s what you wanted to know, right? I think it’s a good thing. You didn’t relapse on your own."

How does she manage to find something positive in this mess?! I’m tearing my hair out, tormented. I know she's trying to reassure me, but she’d change her tune if she knew how seeing him again affected me. She can't know because she doesn’t know what he put me through.

"Well... If you say so..."

"Come on, dry your tears. You look so much cuter with a smile on your face."

She’s really trying to cheer me up. I smile timidly and run my fingers under my eyes to wipe away the black streaks of makeup that have probably run.

"So, how’s your vacation going, besides all that?" she suddenly changes the subject.

"Good... I’m enjoying it like you advised me to. And you?"

"Same here. I’m seeing my family and leaving for Portugal early tomorrow morning for a few days."

"You’re so lucky. I wish I could go back there too..."

"I can imagine. How’s Mapi? Is she doing better?"

"Yeah, she’s okay. We’re spending all our days together."

"Do you already have plans for New Year’s?"

"Yeah, I’m heading back to Manchester early. Leah and Alessia are hosting a party at their place."

"Oh. So Mapi agreed then."

"Yeah, it’ll be good for her to get a change of scenery. It was either that or we’d spend the night alone at my place."

"I see," she laughs. "That wouldn’t be the worst thing either."

"For you, maybe, but definitely not for Mapi. She’s never experienced anything like that at home."

"That’s a shame. Do you already know where you’ll be staying before school starts again?"

I stay silent. Honestly, I haven’t thought about it. Lucy laughs heartily. I hide my smile, rubbing my cheeks against the sleeves of my jacket. Damn. I’ve missed hearing her laugh so much.

"You haven’t thought about it, have you?"

"Not really, no," I admit with flushed cheeks. "I guess I’ll try to negotiate a spot with the Leah and Alessia, and if they can’t put me up, I’ll get a hotel room."

"A hotel?" she scoffs. "Don’t be silly. If you really have nowhere to stay, let me know, okay?"

"Oh no, don’t worry. I’ll manage."

"I’m serious. I’m not going to let you stay on the streets. Knowing you, you’d get lost."

"Ha ha ha, very funny!" I laugh sarcastically.

"It’s true," she giggles. "By the way, where are you? I can hear cars passing by."

"In the street, outside," I say with a smile, knowing how she’ll react.

"Excuse me?"

I can picture her frowning with a stern look on her face. Why am I still smiling like an idiot? Lucy must have this effect on me.

"I’m in the street, outside a bar," I repeat.

My smile widens even more. She’s definitely going to scold me. I start an unconscious countdown in my head. I reach zero just as she raises her voice through the phone.

"You’ve got to be kidding me!"

"No."

"Oh, so let me get this straight. One bad moment, and you’re ready to get wasted? If that’s your plan, you’d better head home!"

"Relax, I’m not alone. Mapi’s with me."

"And that’s supposed to make me feel better?" she grumbles. "She was with you last time too!"

I laugh, realizing she’s right. That night, she left me for her girlfriend, and she wasn’t in any better shape than I was. I don’t think Lucy noticed when she had her on the phone. If she had, she wouldn’t have trusted her to get me home. One thing I know is that I did the right thing by calling her. Without her, I would’ve ended the night with a brain in pieces.

"I’m with two other friends. I don’t intend to drink. If I did, I wouldn’t be sitting on the curb talking to you. I’d be inside drinking."

"Hmm," she says, skeptical. "You’d better text me every five minutes to update me on your sobriety once this call is over."

"If you want," I say with a smile. "Aren’t you going out tonight?"

"No. I have to get up early, so I’m enjoying a quiet evening in my apartment."

"Oh, I’m bothering you then."

"Don’t be ridiculous. I’m happy to talk to you."

"Oh really...? Me too," I admit. "I never thought I’d miss your bossy attitude this much. I keep thinking about what you’d say when I’m in an awkward situation," I chuckle.

"It’s been a while since you’ve called me that. I hope you’re at least listening to that little voice if you’re hearing it."

I hold back a laugh. If she knew all the trouble Mapi has gotten me into... I’d end up doing more than just laps.

"Come on, you have to tell me all the nonsense you’ve been up to now."

I finally laugh softly. My long silence must have given me away.

"No, it’s better not to."

There’s a silver lining to the distance after all. She can’t reach me, let alone intimidate me with her eyes and gestures.

"I’m not kidding. If you come back as that little kid from the very beginning, you’re going to hear from me."

"Hey!" I exclaim, offended. "That girl is long gone."

"Hmm, she’d better be."

I jump when a hand lands on my shoulder. I look up to see that it’s just Mapi. She’s leaning her head to the side with a small smile. I relax my muscles and timidly return her smile.

"Feeling better? You seemed really upset when you came out."

"Yeah... I’m feeling better," I reassure her without taking the phone from my ear.

"Who’s on the phone? Is it the person who managed to bring that smile back to your face?"

"Hmm," I shrug. "It’s Bronze."

I instantly regret being honest when I see a dreamy smile appear on her lips. I’ve just fueled her imagination. Those mental movies of hers won’t be going away anytime soon

- "Hey, I thought I told you not to use my name anymore," comments Lucy through my phone with a hint of playfulness.

- "I'll call you whatever I want!"

- "What does your boss want?" asks Mapi.

- "Nothing. How's your hand?" I ask, noticing an ice pack on her fist.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

Both of them start talking at the same time, as if they're having a conversation with each other even though they can't hear each other. I don't know where to turn my head. I can't even decipher their words. I groan as I run my hand over my eyes.

- "For heaven's sake, shut up!" I groan.

I open my eyes again when the silence finally falls. I glance at my best friend, who is staring at me with wide eyes.

- "Thank you," I sigh. "How's your hand?" I finally ask Mapi, noticing the ice pack on her fist again.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

- "Thanks again..."

- "It's normal," she smiles softly. "Well, I'm going home. Don't stay out too late."

I nod as I watch her go back inside. I groan, massaging my temples. I hope she won't be too upset with me for raising my voice.

- "You guys just gave me a headache."

- "At least now you know how it feels when you drive me crazy," Lucy giggles.

- "Are you kidding? I've never yelled in your ears, and I'm not that crazy!"

- "Oh yes, you were! At least, you used to be," she giggles. "You still have your moments, but now I find it adorable as long as you don't overdo it."

- "Oh, come on," I mumble, hiding my blush.

- "The worst was during exam revision when you wouldn't let anyone say anything to you."

- "Hey! Sometimes it was worth it, I was right!"

- "It only happened once!"

- "Once, but that question was on the exam! Believe me, I answered it correctly."

- "Well, good for you, if you can remember things like that."

- "Yeah."

- "Okay, I'm going to let you go; you must be expected. Enjoy your evening, but not too much."

- "Already?"

I have a hard time hiding my disappointment. I would have preferred to spend the evening talking to her. Am I crazy for wanting that?

- "Yes," she laughs. "Enjoy your time with your friends. We'll have plenty of time to talk when you get back. And don't forget to moderate, or even avoid alcohol, okay?"

- "I'm twenty, Luce. I can moderate myself."

- "Hmm, you never know.The past proved me wrong."

- "Not here. Do you have Snapchat?"

- "Snapchat? Why are you asking?"

- "If you give it to me, I could send you pictures of my drinks to make sure I'm not drinking."

- "Of course," she laughs. "Even if you send me a picture of a soda, who’s to say you haven't mixed it with vodka? I'd need to smell the drink instead, don't you think?"

- "As far as I know, there's no app that can do that yet."

- "You're silly," she giggles. "Okay, I'm letting you go. Don't forget I want texts. I wouldn't want you to do something stupid again."

- "I promise. Goodnight, Lucy."

- "Goodnight to you too, Ona. Don't stay out too late."

I put away my phone after we hang up. Now that I'm alone again, all my thoughts come flooding back. I sigh as I stand up. I pat my jeans to get rid of any dirt that might have clung to them. My butt is cold now from sitting on the ground. That wasn't very smart of me. I look at my phone, which is already vibrating. I smile when I see the handle, which I guess is her Snapchat: LBronze22. Wow, I can't believe it! I didn't expect to get it. My request was just a joke. I could know her whole life if she posts stories regularly. Then again, it's not impossible that she might block me too. I add her immediately on the app, then I head back inside. They're talking about the couples that formed among the people who were with us in high school. The room goes quiet when I sit down.

- "Don't stop on my account," I say.

- "How are you feeling?" Miller asks me.

- "Better. I just needed to step out."

I catch Mapi's smug smile, which I quickly avoid. She can smile all she wants because I do feel better thanks to Lucy. Thinking of her, I decide to kick off the fun by sending her a picture of my glass of soda. I caption it saying it's my one and only drink. I also take the initiative to write her a message, as she asked me to do regularly. I force myself to join the conversation to reassure my friends. I ask about some people I liked back then. The evening continues here for another good hour. I kept texting Lucy discreetly so as not to attract Mapi's attention. We decide to leave the bar around half past midnight. When I told Lucy, she seemed happy that I was being reasonable for once. Our last message exchange happens just as Miller drops us off at my place. We wished each other goodnight. I didn't want to bother her any longer, and besides, I planned to go to bed once I was in my room. I go to the bathroom first, then I join Mapi. Unlike the past few nights, it's Mapi's turn to hold me as we sleep. That's why I adore her. I don't need to talk or pretend with her. She knows me too well for that. Luckily for me, sleep caught up with me before I reached the point of insomnia.

[lookingfts]

You are amazing!

All these bonus snippets have been such a treat

Have we heard anything from Like I see you Kanthony? They're one of my favs and I need to know how many times they've had sex at Kate's office

Thank you!

Also please know that I’m still working through my asks. I have at least two dozen unanswered ones, and every time I answer one, I get three more lol. So if I haven’t responded to yours yet, I will get to it when I have a chance!

*sexy snippet below*

Come let me in.

It takes a second for Kate to process his text. She checks her watch – it’s a little after seven, and there are still a handful of people in the office, preparing for a big corporate case.

She grabs her badge and heads downstairs, swiping him in. The tension seeps out of her body at the sight of her boyfriend, holding a bag of takeout from the sushi place she loves.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Kate sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a sweet, lingering kiss. “But thank you.”

He cracks a crooked grin. “I had fully selfish motives. I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she admits, scrunching up her face at how utterly sappy she’s gotten since they started dating. They both have demanding jobs, and some weeks their schedules don’t align all that well, though they try their best to make time for each other. “Do you want to eat in my office?”

“Yeah.” Kate takes him to her floor, and he says hi to several of her coworkers on the way, asking them about their families or their hobbies. He really can charm anyone and everyone.

They eat at her desk, chatting about their days and her case, and it’s exactly what she needed. For the first time all day, she feels relaxed and happy. Somewhere along the line, Anthony has become her favorite person.

He earns that designation even more when he cleans up the remnants of the food and comes up behind her chair, rubbing his hands over her shoulders. Kate practically melts into the touch, a soft sigh falling from her lips. “You’re so tense, honey.”

“I’ve just been sitting for too long,” she says, rubbing her hand over his muscular forearm. “God, that feels good.”

Anthony digs his thumbs into her shoulders, loosening the tightness there, and the sigh turns into more of a moan. He’s so talented with his hands.

He works her over like that for a while, until her body starts to unwind and release. Gently brushing her hair aside, he presses a kiss to her neck, then another, and she shivers. “Anthony…”

“I can help you,” he whispers in her ear, nipping at the lobe, and Kate realizes that he remembers her fantasy of getting fucked at work. Offering to make it a reality.

“I don’t-,” Kate pants as he sucks a bruise into her neck. “There are other people here.”

Anthony’s hand wanders lower, cupping her breast as he teases a hard nipple between his fingers. “Your door is locked. No one can see. You just need to try really hard to be quiet.”

That condescending motherfucker. It shouldn’t turn her on as much as it does, it really shouldn’t.

She wants it. Wants him so badly she can’t breathe. But Kate knows she can’t let go on her own. “I need…” she breathes as he pinches her nipple. “I need…”

“You need me to make you?” he growls, low and filthy.

Kate shudders. “Yes.”

Suddenly, his hands leave her, and Kate nearly whimpers at the loss. He spins her chair to the side, getting on his knees, his eyes pitch black as he looks up at her. “Cover your mouth, baby. You don’t need your coworkers to know what a little slut you are when I’m fucking you.”

Clasping a hand over her lips, she moans at the degradation. Kate lifts her hips as he tugs her damp knickers down her legs, immediately stuffing them into the pocket of his trousers. She won’t be getting those back, she already knows.

Spreading her thighs apart, Anthony gazes at her bare cunt under her skirt, shaking his head. “You’re so wet, Kate. You’re lucky I showed up. You’ve just been sitting here trying to work when what you really needed was to come home and let me take care of this needy little cunt.”

She gets impossibly wetter at that, and Anthony clearly notices, licking his lips. “Please,” Kate whispers, laying back in the chair. “Please, your mouth.”

“What about my mouth?”

Fuck, he’s going to make her say it. Anthony has always demanded her desires in explicit detail, but it feels especially wanton here, in the place where she has worked so hard to be taken seriously.

“Suck on my clit,” she says, her voice breathy but firm. “And put three fingers inside me.”

Anthony grins wickedly, swinging her right leg over his shoulder to hold her open and lowering his head. The first swipe of his tongue feels like lightning, searing through her body, and she puts her hand back in place to muffle her shaky cry.

He does exactly as she asks, laving her clit with his velvet soft mouth as he stretches her open on two fingers, slowly working in a third. Kate feels equal parts vulnerable and powerful, all soft and sloppy around his fingers, but with the most beautiful man in the world on his knees for her.

She’s so fucking full like this, his thick fingers claiming every empty space inside her, crooking to rub the spot that makes her leak arousal all over his hand. Anthony sucks her clit forcefully, keeping his eyes locked on hers, never breaking the contact. Kate thinks she’ll pass out at the sight of his perfect face buried in her cunt, at the clear pleasure he gets from worshipping her like this.

Kate has no choice but to come, hard, wetness slicking his chin as he greedily laps her up. Her walls squeeze Anthony’s fingers tight, and they both moan at the sensation.

Delicately, he pulls out of her as she slumps against the chair, gasping for breath. His hands run over her thighs, smearing arousal on her skin until she’s painted in it. “What the fuck,” she pants, at a loss for any other words.

“You needed that so bad,” Anthony murmurs, digging his nails into her thighs. “That’s my fault. I knew you were stressed at work. Needed me to fix it for you.”

He’s hard in his trousers, tenting rather obviously, and Kate aches for him. She’s as greedy as he is, wants to be filled up, consumed, controlled. Wants her pleasure forced out of her.

“Fuck me,” she begs, running her hand through his disheveled hair. “Bend me over my desk and make me take it.”

Anthony groans loudly against her thigh, sinking his teeth into the fragile flesh there. He’s utterly gorgeous like this, all blown pupils and swollen lips, staring at her like he wants to destroy her.

“Get on the fucking desk,” he orders, voice hoarse from the effort of staying quiet. Kate stands on shaky legs, carefully moving her laptop and her papers to the side. She rucks her skirt up around her waist as she leans over the desk, all open and exposed to him, her head resting against her arm.

His fingers dance along the swell of her arse, a pleased noise coming from his throat as he strokes her soft skin. Then they dip lower, teasing her wet folds, and Kate whines into her arm.

“So pretty,” Anthony praises, teasing her clit. “You’ve never done this with anyone else, have you? But you can’t help spreading your legs. Your little cunt knows it was made for me.”

Tears prick her eyes at the force of her need. He’s right. It’s only ever been him that can make her body respond like this, break down all her walls and drive her out of her mind. “Please,” she whimpers. “I love you, please.”

That’s the key; it always has been, ever since the first time she whispered it against his skin while he was fucking her slowly and tenderly in his bed. More than her submission, more than her screams of pleasure, he wants her confessions of love.

“I love you too,” he breathes, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. “Stay quiet, honey.”

He fucks right into her, trusting that she’s wet and relaxed enough to take him all the way. And she does, easily, her body rocking forward with the motion as she muffles her moans.

He fucks her, and she takes it. Willingly, eagerly, pushing back against him as much as he’ll let her. Anthony lays one hand on her upper back to keep her down, the other in a harsh grip on her hip, and Kate thinks she could happily die like this.

“Pull my hair,” she moans, and Anthony immediately gathers up her loose curls in his fist and tugs. The pain-pleasure at her scalp makes her feel delirious, and her orgasm is so close she can taste it on her tongue.

Distantly, she realizes that the desk is scraping against the floor, and she hopes to god that everyone else has already left. Though it’s an open secret that several of her coworkers are hooking up, and likely doing so in the office, so she doesn’t think they would rat her out even if they could hear.

She grips the edge as Anthony pounds her into the desk and then she’s shattering again, gushing onto him, keening his name. Anthony makes a rough noise and comes inside her, a welcome warmth between her thighs as her body fully relaxes.

Anthony sits in her chair, pulling her into his lap. Kate curls up against his chest, face tucked into his neck, finding a warmth and security in his arms that she doesn’t think she’s ever felt anywhere else.

“Better?” he asks, sliding his arms around her waist and holding her tight.

“So much better,” Kate sighs, nuzzling his neck. “Let’s just stay here for a while, and then you can take me home.”

[brighttears]

Battery II Charged

Joel Miller x f!reader

Series masterlist

No physical description

Summary: On the road, your ease lasts only a couple hours before your luck runs out. An overhead confession from Joel leaves your head spinning. 

Word count: 4.9k

Warnings: mention of Joel’s pill abuse, mention of death, suicide, and grief

A/n: not super exciting tbh, good stuff’s at the end. i’m gonna be fucking with some cannon stuff just so i’m not just rewriting scenes from the show so some things are changed/missing! don’t worry Joel stops being an ass like halfway through this and then we will have soft Joel from now on (mostly, probably)

—

You’ve been up for hours before anyone else wakes, Tess being the first, wandering into the room, obviously having just opened her eyes. 

“Hey.” She says when she sees you.

“Hey.”

“Coffee?”

“You have coffee?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she chuckles, strolling into the kitchen to start a pot.

“Thanks,” you say as you get up from the couch, stretching. 

“Joel’ll be up soon. Just has to shake off those pills.”

“Does he take those a lot?”

She nods, “Can’t blame him.”

“Why not?”

She turns to you, resting her elbows on the counter behind her. “Let’s just leave it as I can’t blame him.”

You nod. Not your business. Just as long as he doesn’t take them on the road. “Are they coming with us?”

Tess shakes her head, “Nah, he’s not stupid.”

As if on cue, Joel emerges, looking lost. He glances at you, double takes, eyes still almost half shut, and then shambles over to Tess, placing his hand on the handle of the coffee pot.

“It’s not done yet. Just put it on.” Tess tells him. He grumbles incoherently and then goes to slide into a seat at the table, rubbing his hands over his face. “You gonna be good to get outta here soon?” He nods slowly, face still in his hands. 

“I can help you guys get packed up if you want,” you offer. 

“Sure, you can help me get some stuff together. It’s all under the floorboards in the bedroom.” Tess answers. 

Joel speaks up, audibly groggy, “No. She doesn't need to touch anythin’. I can handle it fine myself.”

You sigh, unable to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, and Tess chuckles. 

“Whatever you say, sir.” You salute him. Joel stares at you, then looks to the floor, shakes his head, and peels himself out of his seat to trudge into the bedroom. You ignore the scraping of furniture on the floor and choose to join Tess at the table. 

“Is he always like this?” You whisper, sipping the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had, granted you haven’t had one in at least a decade. 

She shakes her head, making a face as she sips from her own mug, “He’s better once he warms up to you. But, he’s kinda just that kind of guy, you know? He’s a good guy, and he can be sweet, but, world’s really fucked with his head, you know how it is. He was a whole different person before.”

“You knew him?”

“No, but I knew his brother. He told me what he used to be like. Huge softy, if you can believe it.”

You nod and sip, trying to picture that in Joel. “So, what’s the whole story with him and his brother?” You whisper. 

“Well,” she sighs, “they were together from day one. I met them a few years ago, we ran with a crew for a while, met some Fireflies, and Tommy wanted to split and go with them. They kind of had a falling out, Joel and I stuck together, came here. They were communicating through the radio towers but Tommy stopped responding a few weeks ago. That's when we started looking for a car, go out and find him. Just got a tip he might be somewhere in Wyoming, so that’s where we’re going.”

“You think he might be somewhere in Wyoming?” You repeat back, giving her a leery look. You’re not in love with that plan—Wyoming is very far and a big state, there might already be nothing to find there. But, on second thought, you don't really care. You’ll be in a car with two capable people, and that is more than you can ask for. You’re fine just being along for the ride. 

“You got anything better to do?”  

“Nope.” You chuckle, and she returns one, smiling into her cup. 

Yeah, you guess you are friends. The thought almost makes you choke on your coffee; a whole year with nothing like this, only passing faces, fake friends created for the sole purpose of getting something out of it, and, well, Rat King. But now, you’re exchanging an honest smile and chuckles with a woman over coffee. What a lucky break, to have met Tess.

Ruining the moment, Joel plods back into the room, filling up a mug and choosing to lean against the sink rather than take a seat at the table with you. 

“I’m not infected, you know.” You say to him. “Not contagious with anything. And if I smell, you smell worse.”

“Fuck are you talkin’ about.” He says into his mug, squinting. 

“You’re acting like if you come too close I'm gonna put a knife to your throat.” You stare at him in all his beheaded glory, marks from the sheets not yet faded from his cheek. “I don’t bite.”

Joel just stares back, then, finally and reluctantly, he takes a seat across from you at the table. 

“Ok, I’m serious,” Tess says, setting her mug down, “you two better not keep this shit up. It started off cute, but now it’s getting real fucking annoying.”

“Cute?” Joel says, screwing his face up, and you say over him, “I’m not doing anything.”

“Alright, alright,” Tess puts her hands up, “we’re gonna cut this shit out now. You two, shake hands.”

“What?” Joel screws his face up again. You sip your coffee, looking between them.

“Shake her hand.” Tess gestures, raising her eyebrows at him. Joel moues. It’s been nothing more than irritating so far, but now, it’s starting to hurt your feelings a little. You haven’t done anything wrong. For god’s sake, he should be on his knees thanking you for what you're doing for him. What is it about you that’s so wrong? 

Finally, he offers his hand, and you shake, his hold firm and warm. 

A shock suddenly runs through you as if he was a live wire, and you feel like your skin is melting in the most delightful way possible. The moment of contact is over in a second, but you feel that something inside of you has shifted. You can’t put your finger on what it is, but it feels like trouble. You set your hand on your leg, but it’s as if the warmth from his hand has been transmitted through your skin and onto your thigh. You quickly take your hand away to place on your mug, warm like it’s supposed to be. Your eyes are stuck on each others, but neither glares. Just, stuck. His are brown like dark bark in the sun, rich, deep, pretty. You look down at the table. 

“Alright, we got that taken care of?” You hear Tess.

“Yeah.” You answer, eyes still on the table. Joel clears his throat before he copies your response, his tone devastatingly unrevealing. You will your gaze back up only to be caught in his again, and you look around at the wall, down at your coffee, and back up, all in a second, only to be caught again. He holds it for a moment before looking down at the table. Whatever this feeling he’s giving you stinks to high heaven of trouble. 

“Alright, good, then let’s get the fuck outta here.” Tess concludes. 

You bring the battery back up on your back while Joel and Tess carry the rest of everything you’ll have for a while, abandoning your coffee, not even bothering to place the mugs in the sink. This place will be left exactly as it is, but neither of them seem to mind leaving all of this behind. You leave the apartment and then follow the two wordessly through a maze that eventually leads out past the gates, ending in emerging from a literal hole in the ground. Once outside, still crouching on the ground, you take a deep breath of fresh air, free from smoke and ash and stink. The dawn is breathtaking, being seen for the first time in years, half of the sky barely past midnight's shadow, pulled up like a shade by blood orange leading down to the peachy halo of the sun somewhere behind the toppled buildings, speckled and tangled with green. A flock of birds pass overhead, dancing in the smearing sky. You could laugh. 

“Focus,” Joel hisses, looking at you over his shoulder, also crouched, scowl back in play, though it’s understandable in the stress of the moment. You nod. He’s right. Plenty of time for this later. Right now, you’re still not quite in the clear. 

The three of you scamper silently through the badlands between the Boston QZ and freedom. As you venture out, though, your excitement begins to fade, realizing that you’ve been looking through rose colored glasses for a while now. The QZ is a shithole, but out here is just a much wider shithole. There's less people, no rules, but neither of those pluses are as good as they had been sounding in your head. Less people, because they’re mostly dead or infected, the rest being not much more than animals who know how to talk sweet. No rules, means, well, no rules, no morals, just the loose goal of ‘survive’, which translates to fight dirty, do anything you can, anything to survive. Live to fight another day. 

“How far’s the car?” You ask, the first to speak. 

“Not far.” Tess responds, distracted as she scans your surroundings. You're in the city now, the remains of it at least, weaving around crashed cars and large, rocky craters, twenty years of weather and neglect preceded by bombings and a storm of hysteria. You were expecting Joel to say something like ‘We’ll get there when we get there’, but he stays silent, eyes also scanning around. You seem less fazed. Are you not scared enough? Or have they just been inside longer than you have? You do feel like an animal in its natural environment, ears knowing what sound to look at, eyes knowing what movement to check, agile feet over the broken mounds of rock and glass and all of the other debris out in the open broken world. 

“The car’s supposed to be at the church on Park Street. Few minutes walk from here.” Tess finally answers you. 

“I know where that is.”

“Good for you.” Joel says. 

“Fuck off.” You reply.

“Excuse you,” Joel looks at you, screwing his face up. 

“Hey,” Tess interjects, shooting both of you a look, “Jesus, I feel like the parent of two disobedient kids. Knock it off.”

Joel huffs and looks at the ground. You smirk to yourself, seeing him again as a pouting dog being checked by his owner. 

It’s silent until you reach the church, red brick with a steeple reaching high into the sky. Parked directly in front of it, as if on display, is an old Dodge Caravan, white with fake wood siding, dusted with dirt, wheel wells caked in dried mud. 

“This thing looks like it’s from the 90s,” Tess comments. “You think it’ll run?”

“It better.” You say, shoulders aching with a vengeance from the battery still hanging from them.

“You said that right.” Joel adds gruffly. 

You stop at the front and lower yourself to the ground to unload the battery from your bag. Finally free of the thing, you stretch your shoulders back with a deep sigh. 

“Surprised your back’s not broken by now.” Joel says as he comes to squat next to you, looking over the battery.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothin’,” he glances at you, “jus’ maybe we shoulda traded bags.”

“I can handle it.” You retort, though he sounds honestly well intentioned, “I’m not weak.”

“Wasn’t callin’ you weak. What, I can't say anythin’ without it bein’ an insult?”

“That’s all it’s been so far.”

Joel just sighs, then stands to open the hood of the car. You stand to look inside with him; all looks right, though you’re not sure you know enough to make a judgment. 

“How’s it look?”

“Looks fine.” Joel says, then bends down to take his pack off and dig through it, pulling out a couple tools which he sets on the ground before hefting the battery up and into the empty space under the hood, grunting with its weight. 

“You came prepared, huh?”

“Sure did.” Joel mumbles as he picks up the tools and leans over the engine to start working on it. 

“How do you know how to do all that?”

“Used to be a mechanic.”

“I thought you were a contractor.” Tess questions, coming up beside you.

“Before that.” Joel replies, “When I was in high school.”

“I can just see you now,” Tess chuckles, “jumpsuit all covered in oil, you name embroidered on the little pocket.”

You laugh at the thought—Joel leaning over a car, jumpsuit tied around his waist as he works, dirty white t-shirt straining against his back muscles and those broad shoulders—”Fuck,” you say to yourself, startled by your own thoughts. 

“What?” Joel looks back at you, panic in his eyes. 

You dart your eyes away, shaking the thoughts of him out of your head. “Nothing, nothing, sorry.”

“You sure?” Tess asks, raising her eyebrows at you. 

“Yeah, yeah, it was nothing, really, sorry. Is the car ready?”

“Just about.” Joel replies as he leans in close to continue with a wrench. 

“You sure you remember how to do it right?” You say, recovering yourself. He pauses to glare at you but doesn’t respond. 

“Let’s hope he does.” Tess says. 

He glares at her too, then states, “I know how to do it. Just give me a damn minute. 

“Alright,” Tess chuckles, raising her hands defensively, then steps back to examine the van. She slides over the side door to step inside, “Damn, look at this thing. We could sleep in here.”

You come over to peek next to her, “How the fuck did you score this?”

“Beat it outta someone.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“Must have been a good beating.”

“It was.” Joel calls from the front, then drops the hood down and comes around to get into the driver's seat. A pair of keys fall into his lap when he drops the visor down, and he takes a deep breath before easing the keys in and turning the ignition. The van roars to life, and you all laugh with delight, Joel clapping his hands and whooping. 

“Hol–ly–shit,” You laugh, half of it being at Joel’s sudden enthusiasm, “look at that.”

“Look at that.” Joel repeats, and you watch his grin through the front mirror.

Just as he catches you, Tess says, “Alright, let me out.” You step back out and she walks around to get into the passenger seat, “Alright, grab your shit and let’s go before our luck runs out. 

You and Joel nearly bump into each other as he gets out and he mumbles a sorry before you both go to gather your things. He hands you your bag and you mumble back a thank you. The relief from having a working car must have flooded all the resenting sarcasm out of you, and you actually almost smile at each other as you both get back in. You flump onto the backseat, sighing as you rest against the cushion, rolling your aching shoulders again. 

“Thank god I don’t have to carry that thing anymore. N’ I’ve got plenty of room in my bag for all the shit we have to pick up now.”

“What’s our first stop?” Joel asks, adjusting the mirror to look at you.

“About twenty miles west.”

“What am I lookin’ for?”

“Gas station. BP. Next spot’s just the same, gas station about thirty miles west from that one.”

“Alright, perfect, we’ll see if we can find some gas.” He says as he puts the car in drive and starts out, rounding the corner, “We’ll be there in no time.”

You lean back in your seat and let yourself smile. It all worked out. With a car, dare you say, it looks like smooth sailing from here. 

“Lemme see if I can find some music,” Tess says, digging through the glove box. “Oh, shit,” she chuckles, pulling out a CD, “Don fuckin’ McLean. Were you ever into him?” She asks Joel.

“Shit, is that American Pie?” He asks hopefully, glancing at it held out in Tess’s hand, “Oh shit, put that on. I love this album.”

You chuckle from the backseat. Such a wholesome little moment, and as Tess slides the CD in and the music starts to play, an air of ease falls over the cabin. Morning sun cascades through the windows and you squint through the dirty pane, watching your surroundings start to speed up past you. On the road again, heading somewhere far, finally free again. No more curfews or guards, no more fucking ration cards or deals in basements. You look ahead to the front seat at your new companions, catching a small smile on Tess’s lips. All you can see of Joel is his shoulder and his hair, wavy and stroked with silver. In the mirror, his eyes are locked on the road, but his brow is relaxed, and there might even be a smile of his own hidden under it. Leaning back in your seat and looking back out the window, the music in your ears for the first time in many years filling you up with giddy warmth, you think you could get used to this.

—

The next couple hours are in fact smooth sailing, both stops being stress free and bountiful, two crates, found exactly where you’d left them, full of food, guns, and ammo next to you on the seat with two red jugs full of gas on the floor below them. 

The car breaks down just past the border of Massachusetts. 

“Shit.” Joel seethes, waving the gray smoke away from his face as he slams the hood shut. “T’s done.” He announces, looking at you and Tess. 

“Fuck.” She mutters, closing her eyes and dropping her head. 

You watch the fumes slinking out from the hood. It was foolish to think this thing would take you all the way across the country. Of course it would break down within two fucking hours. Why not?

“Come here and help me get this shit out before the car explodes.” You say, going back to open the side door and start packing whatever you can fit into your bag. You shove another gun into the back of your jeans and empty half a box of bullets into your jacket pocket. Joel is behind you when you back out, and you shove a crate into his hands, “I got most of it. Just take whatever else you can fit in your pack. Same with Tess. We’ll probably have to leave some behind.”

Joel does as you ask, kneeling to unload the contents of the crate and dividing it up for the two of them. Once everyone’s pack is filled to the brim, you leave only a few things behind, set in crates next to the car, and set off on foot. 

Joel traces his finger over the folded map found in the glove compartment as you walk. “We’ll just follow route 20. Maybe take a turn at, uh, Albany, ‘bout  a day's walk. That’s the next real town, pretty much just farmland for a while.”

“Great.” Tess says through tight lips. 

—

At dusk, you decide to call it a day, though you’re only a few hours away from Albany. You set up under an overpass and light a small fire before nightfall takes away the option. Everyone is all deep sighs as you sit back to rest, no one used to all that walking. Your shoulders are still throbbing, a lasting consequence of that damn battery, and you pull your shirt down to see red bruises covering both sides, flashing like a mockery in the light of the flames. 

“Damn, that battery really did a number on you.” Tess comments, leaning over to examine the bruising.

“I can’t decide if it was even fucking worth it.” You say, readjusting your shirt with a huff. 

“Well, commendable act.” Tess sighs, resting her arms over spread knees. 

“Thanks,” you mumble, not used to genuine praise. 

After a moment, Joel says, “You look tired.” You look up at him and he’s staring with puppy dog eyes, probably unintentionally, but puppy dog eyes just the god damn same. 

“I am.” You mumble, not meaning to be honest about it. 

“Well,” he grunts as he stands, pulling his gun out, double checking it’s loaded, and leaning against the concrete wall, “I’ll take first watch. Tess, I’ll wake you up in a few hours.”

“This is starting to sound like you still don’t trust me.” You say. 

“T’s not.” Joel says, “You just look the most tired.”

You sigh, torn between a longing for sleep and hesitancy to be in such a vulnerable position. 

As if reading your mind, Tess assures you, “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna kill ya or split. We’re in this together now, and we need you sharp. Get some sleep.” She nods her head to the ground. You pause, then obey, curling up on the hard ground with your hands between your knees and pack under your head. You’re out within minutes, being more exhausted than you had realized. 

—

An almost silent scuffle is enough to wake you up and tense every single muscle in your body, but the two familiar, faint voices relax them just as fast. It must just be Joel waking up Tess for her watch, chatting in between shifts. Their low tones tell you this isn’t for you to hear, but you listen anyway. 

“She’s jus’… she’s just so damn… pretty.” You hear Joel. Who is? …Who else would it be, but you? At this realization, your face lights on fire. Tess starts to chuckle, but then it turns into cackling, as quiet as she can manage. 

“Sh!”

You can hear the wild grin on her face as she whispers, “You have a crush on her!” 

You want to squirm, twist your legs up, but you stay still. You don’t understand the impulse, but you don’t like it, either. You feel like a fucking highschooler; a callback to an alien world, but you haven’t felt anything like it since. 

“No, I do not, now be quiet before you wake her up.”

“Yes, yes you do,” she continues to stifle laughter. 

“No the fuck I don’t.” A pause. Then, “Shit, maybe I do.” He groans, voice muffled, “I’m fucked, aren’t I, god, I’m so fucked.”

Oh, shit.

“Yes, yes you are.” Tess chuckles. 

The worst part is that you’re just as fucked as he is. It seems to be hitting you both at the same time. A crush, yes, that’s what the young aliens used to call it. A fucking crush. Maybe it’s due to time, being much, much, older—hundreds of years older, it seems—but this crush doesn’t feel like any one you’ve had before. Maybe because it’s Joel, like no one you’ve ever met. But, how, exactly? You’ve met damaged people, you’ve met people just as cold, just as standoffish. No man has exactly been this standoffish to you, though; most men you’ve met on the road have tried something within a couple days, even if it’s been in a group. Warm bodies. Hungry animals. Horny survivors. 

There’s no way you’re going back to sleep now. Your mind is spinning, gyrating, tying itself into knots. Joel, Joel, what is it about him? You’ve met handsome men. You’ve slept with a couple handsome men. You even held one of their hands once. But, Joel, you’ve barely even touched.

Pretty. That’s all he said. Is he just another horny survivor? None you’ve known have confided in anyone, cared to discuss it with someone. And not anyone has ever used the word crush. Come to think of it, most of them only use the word sexy to describe you, just to say, hey, you’re so sexy, let me fuck you. That’s about it. 

Joel, Joel, Joel, shit, what is it?

“Ah, Jesus,” Joel says. 

“A crush, wow. Gotta say, I was not expecting that from you. I always thought you were a pork ‘er and move on, never say a word about how you actually feel kinda guy.”

“Hey, you callin’ me a slut?” Joel says. Tess tries to muffle her laughter but it burst out of her hands. “Sh!” She sounds like she has her hands pressed firmly against her mouth, but she’s still laughing. 

“Yes, actually, I am calling you a slut.” She finally manages to say, “I mean, with us, it was never like that. I mean, did you have a crush on me? Because, I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t call it that.”

“No,” Joel whispers. “It wasn’t like that. I mean, you know I… care about you, all that. But, yeah, y’know, it was jus’…”

“Yeah, we’re on the same page, don’t worry.”

“Jesus, Tess, this is… goddammit, I don’t have time for this shit. I mean, what should I—what should I do?”

“Don’t look at me, loverboy. I’ve got nothin’. Are you gonna tell her?”

“Fuck no.”

Tess chuckles, “Why?”

“Why on earth would I? This is my problem, not hers. You think shit’s tense now, imagine how’d it be with that piece of fuckin’ information hangin’ in the air.”

“You don’t think she likes you back, do you?”

“Of course she doesn’t.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I—well, I mean,” Joel stammers, “why the fuck would she? Look at me, I’m just some fuckin’... old man, who—who—”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Joel. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a good guy. You’re handsome. You’re kind. You’re gentle. You’re a fuckin’ badass. You’re—holy shit, you’re blushing,”

“Would you keep your fuckin’ voice down?”

“Aw, you’re killing me, Joel. I’ve never seen you like this. Never. She has got a fucking hold on you, doesn’t she?”

“Tess, stop fuckin’ around, and just tell me what to do.”

“Hey, I told you, I’ve got no advice on this one. Crushes are not my strong suit. I’m sorry, but you’re on your own on this one.”

“Ah, don’t tell me that. Shit, Tess, come on,” he nearly whines, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.”

“Alright, why don’t you just sleep on it?”

There’s a pause, then Joel sighs, and you hear him shifting into place on the ground behind you.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This is bad. But it feels good. But it feels bad. You’re almost nauseous with the number of wings fluttering in your chest, almost dizzy, and you realize you’ve been biting the inside of your cheek so much it hurts. Half of your brain is having a party while the other half is looking for a knife to stick in its chest. What does this mean? What’s going to happen? What do you want to happen?

What do you want?

Joel is the first word that comes to mind, and you want to bang it out of your head and into the ground. But there it is, sticking like a bullet under your skin. Should you talk to Tess about it? The only person you can talk to? Tell her you heard everything? Or should you tell Joel? Oh, god, you don’t even know how you’d broach the subject to him.

What, are you two gonna start holding hands now? What else do couples do—oh, god, couples, what, are you gonna start dating? You almost laugh to yourself but you catch it before either of them realize you’re not asleep like you’re supposed to be. This is all like an out of body experience. None of this exists. 

Your mind wanders to the one time you have seen something like this—Agatha and John, who you met on the road along with a few others; the lovers, everyone always used to call them. Joined at the hip, linked by their hands almost all of the time. You used to make fun of them for their googly eyes at each other, but they never minded. They were in love, and they knew it, everyone did. Marriage without the $25 piece of paper or veil and bowtie. There was always this rosy air about them, their love was enchanting, so real, so innocent, so sweet. 

And then John died. And then Agatha killed herself. 

The whole group fell apart after that. 

That’s why all of this, ever since the second you touched him, just that shaking of his hand, had given you such a bad feeling. Because you knew what it was, and even before you found the word for it, you knew it’d end bad. 

What John and Agatha had was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, even before the world ended. They found each other, and they chose it—love, despite everything, the ugliness, the loss, the loathsome world. And it was so pure, like an angelic little bubble that they floated in. The way they touched each other, the fleeting passes over waists and arms, they way they flowed like a living duet. The way they held each other, when they cried, when they laughed, just, whenever they could. You’ve never seen people sleep so peacefully. The love was tangible between them.

And then when John died, Agatha fell apart, like an angel from heaven, like a baby bird from a nest, into a pile of feathers and blood. She was a shell. For a week. And then she killed herself. She couldn’t live without him.

You envied her before. And then, immediately, you mourned her. 

These violent delights have violent ends. 

Love is dangerous. A crush is a bullet with god cocking the gun. 

[habizuh-studios]

oooo another random wip i havent touched since 2 months ago..... in which i made a love letter to my past self and made one of those "X gets stuck in a room for 24 hours" except without all the cringe because i cannot handle htat. and also exposition. Enjoy!! TGCF fic btw,,,,,

Xie Lian was not expecting this to be the way his evening turned out, but all is well and good. He’s not dead yet. What is not well and good, however, is the fact that he’s here with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who clearly haven’t been in this situation due to their reasonable luck. In all honesty, Xie Lian might have been able to do the mission himself. He’s sure that he is capable enough to escape, but clearly his abominable luck had other plans. This curse had caused them to be transported to a room surrounded by dirt- no visible airholes or anything. He’s sure that he would survive, but San Lang would worry, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing can die, even if their lives are prolonged by their God status. Gods can still die. He’s seen it first-hand. STRIKETHROUGH: (He’s experienced it first-hand. He just came back after.) Well, whatever. They have bigger problems to deal with, like trying to escape. Xie Lian’s observational skills have noticed that the room is (274.32 centimeters by 182.88 centimeters) long, the walls are entirely made of dirt with air holes so small that they cannot see it even if their were any, and the word ‘truth’ in dim letters above their heads. It’s almost transparent, but he cannot figure out for the life of him what that is supposed to mean. He isn’t sure if they were here for twenty minutes or two hours, and they need to think of something. From experience, it would probably take two days to suffocate due to his strength and immortality. It would be safe to assume that the same is for Feng Xin and Mu Qing, due to their Godhood. “Fuck, what the hell are we supposed to even do here?” Feng Xin suddenly says, startling both him and Mu Qing. “Your yelling isn’t helping anybody,” Mu Qing responds with a sneer. They’re always like this, so Xie Lian doesn’t worry, but he doesn’t want them to waste their breath. He wishes San Lang were here. He would know what to do… But the password. He shakes his head quickly, messing up his hair while doing so. Either the two don’t notice or don’t care, because they don’t even look at him while glaring daggers at each other. “Let’s not waste air, you guys…” He tries to placate them. He’s not above begging- he’s done it multiple times. If only they would think rationally instead of yelling at each other… He isn’t really doing anything either, so he can’t really be talking, but still. --- AND that's all i have so far! things in parenthesis are stuff i need to edit. yk..

[shadecrux]

On The Wing - Chapter 2

https://open.spotify.com/track/0RLwgks1gHQzXeIkaJIpHr

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°•★Pairing: Bucky Barnes x femaleartist!reader

°•★Rating: NSFW 

°•★Tags: strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, romantic AND sexual tension, flirting, pet names (doll, sweetheart), a little bit of steve!, k.i.s.s.i.n.g., metal arm (i consider that a warning), grumpy!bucky if you squint, bucky being a dork, promises of more lewdness

°•★ Words: 2275

°•★ Notes: Chapter two!!  Uhh uhh only thing I can really think to note here is that while I will be writing a bit about Bucky being a soldier any resemblance to real world wars or history is accidental, as I intentionally left it vague to keep the story from veering in a different direction. I know we haven’t reached smut yet but it is coming I promise!!  

~All writing unless otherwise noted is my own. Please do not post or reupload my work to other websites without my express consent. I do not consent for my fics to be used in AI creations. I do not own any of the characters featured in my works unless they are stated to be OCs.~

All of my fanworks are intended for adults aged 18 and up only! Minors please DNI. ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48744160/chapters/123378907

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I wish the rocket stayed 

Over the promenade 

Cus I would make a hook and eye 

And fish them from the sky 

My darling she and i 

We’re hangin' on to take us high 

And sing the world goodbye

It had been almost a year since Bucky had returned to civilian life. He had joined the army, looking to serve his country, to make the world a better place and in doing so secure for himself a better future in a life that had fallen stagnant.  He was sent home halfway through his first tour of duty with an honorable discharge, several medals and awards for his acts of heroism, and one less arm for the troubles. Bucky sometimes wondered still if some of those rewards weren’t just “We’re sorry we blew your arm off” flattery, but he shrugged it off. They were gonna keep taking care of him, getting him into the best hospitals they could for treatment and rehabilitation from his injuries. The blast that took his arm would have killed his entire squadron if not for his fast actions - after saving a dozen lives it was the least they could do for him. Eventually, that meant getting him into a clinical trial for a new kind of prosthetic on the utmost cutting edge of technology. One that could fully articulate and respond to electrical impulses that controlled one’s nervous system, that could even simulate something resembling a sense of touch. It wasn’t difficult to sell the story of the war hero to get him into the clinical trials, and due to his excellent health, he was a perfect candidate for the experimental procedure. And though the surgeries left him with deep, jagged scars surrounding the connection where metal met flesh - it worked. It was celebrated as a second chance for a deserving man and as hope for a future where more people might be given their lives back after grievous injury.  Despite his unique circumstances that could have easily landed him in the public eye, Bucky kept a low profile. He had insisted on a certain degree of anonymity when partaking in the trial, avoided press and requests for interviews, and even took to wearing a tight-fitted pair of leather gloves and long-sleeved shirts to hide his arm from prying eyes.  He moved back to New York to try to reintegrate himself back into civilian life. Physical therapy and therapy therapy once a week, job training, cheap studio apartment in Brooklyn… His time in the army had changed him, leaving him with scars, and nightmares, jumping at loud noises and punching at shadows.  He could likely have used his connections to find some more gainful sort of employment, discharge or not, but… after the things he had seen, Bucky just couldn’t stomach the idea. Not so soon, at the very least. 

Still, the soldier worked on and off, odd jobs mostly, nothing with any sort of regularity. His mind and body were still healing, and the military pension he was on was enough to keep him comfortable, even if it was just making ends meet. He was just sort of… drifting, without any real cause or purpose. 

It didn’t seem as though anyone could reach him to pull him out of that darkness, though that didn’t stop his childhood best friend from trying, every chance he got.

“Come on, Buck. It’s been ages since you’ve gone out - just this once, humor me?” Steve asked, giving Bucky his best sad puppy dog face.  “M’ just tired, Stevie…” he muttered, unconvincingly, scrubbing a hand through his hair that was starting to grow out again.  “You’re a terrible liar.” “Am not.”  “You’re thinking about her again… aren’t you?” Bucky said nothing for a long moment before grunting in frustration and tossing a couch cushion at his slightly too persistent friend.  “Where’d ya get so damn insightful anyway?”  “Buck, it might surprise you to learn, but… you’re not a great liar. And you’re not the best at hiding your emotions, either. You know I’m always here if you need a shoulder to lean on, right?” “I know Steve. I know.”  “So, should I tell the guys you won’t be making it this time?” Bucky nodded, giving Steve an apologetic half-smile.  “Next time. I promise I’ll come out next time.” ——————

He’d hardly believed that you had accepted his request to join you, that you seemed to be expressing interest in a guy like him. You were different, he could tell just by looking at you - the way you dressed, the way you moved through the crowds, the way you seemed to observe the world around you with a more dedicated eye than most. You stood out in a subtle sort of way that intrigued him immediately.  It had been fortunate, in a strange way that he had been gawking at you when he had been - it’s the only reason you didn’t end up squished between the roof and the side of the building. 

Now that he had your company, he would do anything he could to keep it. 

Bucky had taken it upon himself to act as your tour guide since you had never been to Coney Island before. He talked up the history of the park, gave his suggestions for what rides were best, and in general went above and beyond to make sure you were enjoying your time there.  Coasters were your favorites, and Bucky, always fond of the more thrilling rides himself was all too happy to show them all to you. As time went on, he found himself taking your hand in his more often, under the guise of guiding you from place to place. He knew he was lying to himself, that in truth he just wanted to touch you, to feel that electric tingle each time your skin brushed his… but based on the way you clutched his hand in his, the way you sometimes chased his touch when he moved away from you, it seemed that you and he were on the same page. Conversations flowed easily, he talked about his life, and you talked about yours. He was truly blown away, hearing about all the places you had been, all the things you had done, and listened raptly to you every time you spoke. You left out the heavy stuff, of course, your history, your family… and while Bucky noticed, he wasn’t about to bring it up. It wasn’t his place to pry. He talked about his own life, his family, the interesting things he’d seen or done in all his years in the city. Sharing his love of literature and fiction, talking about his favorite sports teams or the swing dancing classes he had taken. He didn’t consider his life, or himself very interesting compared to you, all the things you’d done and exotic places you had been. Still, you gave him just as much focus as he gave you, and Bucky wondered once again just what you saw in him… but he certainly wasn’t complaining. Bucky remembered trying to convince you to ride the water rides - and you refusing as you hadn’t brought anything to change into. Eventually, though, the heat of the day had gotten to you, and with a boyish grin, he had dragged you to wait in line for their flume ride. The entire time it wound its way up the hill you were cursing silently under your breath, and he just laughed at the way your face scrunched up in annoyance.  “Has anyone ever told you how adorable you are when you’re annoyed?”  “Fuck you.” 

Your profanities only made him laugh harder - he swore he could hear an undertone of affection there, his chest swelling with warmth. You really were just too damn cute. As it made its final descent you grabbed him and tried to hide behind him looking to avoid being hit by the splash.  “Oh no you don’t!” he laughed, easily grappling you and wrestling you back in front of him just as the white spray flew up around you, drenching you both in cold, chlorinated water. “Ahhh, you bastard!” You had sputtered, frantically brushing the water out of your face. “Oh come on sweetheart… you didn’t think I was gonna let you miss out on the fun, didja?” He smirked.  “Mmm… you’re lucky you’re cute.” You dared to say, muttering it in frustration.  You couldn’t help but laugh, though as he helped you up to your feet and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, the two of you giggling all the way to the exit gates and beyond. He spent the next hour preening from your praise, and the next time he took your hand you held his tightly, stepping in closer to his side as you walked. For the rest of the day, any chance he could find your hand was in his, or his arm was slung lazily around your shoulders.  The sky was beginning to fade into twilight, the lights of the midway all coming on, the park a bright glowing presence to contrast with the darkening skyline when you, at last, found your way back to the games, having ridden everything at least once. He had insisted on trying to win one of the giant animal toys for you at the games - you explained to him how most of them were rigged to be deceptively difficult, but that didn’t dissuade him. In the end, he didn’t manage to win the giant dragon plush he was aiming for - but instead, you walked away with a surprisingly soft unicorn plush, all blues and purples and little spots of silver making its fur look like a sky just filling with stars.  

You had tried to play it cool when he was selecting a prize for you, but Bucky was observant enough to see your eyes continually flicking toward it, and he had the worker reaching out to grab one before you could muster a word of protest. Your singular muttered comment as you walked away about it being “too girly” made him smirk. He could bring up how he saw you hug it the moment he looked down to put his wallet away… but he decided to keep that piece of information to himself, for now. 

Not one to be outdone, you insisted on staying there on the midway until you had matched or bested him - and while in the end you did no better, by the time you were walking away, arm in arm he had a prize of his own clutched to his chest - a floppy white wolf plush made in the same style of yours. Was it stereotypical to cap off the day with a big, romantic Ferris wheel ride?  Maybe a little - but Bucky always had been a little traditional, at least when it came to romance. Sometimes cliches are cliche for a reason.  And as you rode the bucket up to the top to take in the surrounding view, you could see why he had insisted. You could see the whole park, the white sand beaches trailing off into the distance on either side of you.  On one side was the darkness of the sea, and on the other the twinkling lights of Brooklyn in the distance. It was beautiful… but not nearly as beautiful as you, he thought, watching your eyes light up with wonder at the scene. A burst of color from down the beach startled you both, and the two of you looked up in unison to see fireworks bursting in the night sky, high overhead. It wasn’t a holiday, as far as he knew - but he wasn’t about to complain, seeing your eyes light up at the colorful display overhead. He slid an arm around you, and you nestled into his side, wrapping both arms around his waist while Bucky willed his heart to stop beating so loudly in his chest. You were somewhere near the top when the ride came to a stop, just in time for the finale of the show, a final bright series of bursting golds and pinks and greens that lit the entire night sky. He looked over at you to find your eyes already on him. You looked so beautiful, and he had been holding himself back all day long… Bucky slid a hand up to your face to cup your cheek, gently lifting your head towards his. He felt his heart all but stop as you leaned into the touch, your eyes trailing back and forth between his eyes and his lips. He had to go for it - but he had to do it right.

“May I kiss you?” he whispered, and you responded with a small nod, already leaning in, as was he, pulled by a magnetism that neither of you could deny any longer. It was explosive, that first kiss, bursting in his brain just as the rockets burst in the sky above you. Your lips felt so soft against his, your grip around his waist tightening. His head was spinning when he broke away from you, far too soon for his liking as you were brought back down to the ground to disembark. He held you clutched tightly to his side as you wound your way back to the exit through a throng of people leaving as the voice over the loudspeaker announced that the park was closed.  Outside of the gates, you surprised him again, throwing your arms around his neck and leaning up for another kiss which he eagerly returned. “Come home with me…” you murmured against his lips, and his hands tightened on you in response, a heated sensation tugging at his stomach. “You sure, doll?” Your next kiss, hungry and full of promise was all the answer Bucky needed. He called for a cab and off the two of you went into the night.

[ranposbabe]

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Chapter 16

The house might as well have been empty.

You father sits down sluggish in his chair as you stand purposely far away.

Your stare makes him feel worse and worse and you know this and yet you continue.

“What do you want me to say ?” He croaks, his head down in shame.

He would’ve been better off not speaking as the more or really the less he says the more you become rightfully agitated.

“The shed was literally set on fire ! That was no accident !”

“All of it is gone do you understand?! It’s gone !”

He stays still and it deeply angers you.

“Is there alcohol in that fridge ?” You point at it yet you don’t dare to look, already knowing the answer to your question.

He doesn’t respond yet he doesn’t need to. You rush over and pull the fridge door open and the sight disgusts you.

An almost empty six pack a newly bought six pack, expired food and no sign of a drink that doesn’t contain alcohol.

How could it only take you this long to realise how bad this was ?

“I thought you only drank in the pub with those other drunks ?” You sigh.

Oh how wrong you were.

There was some part of you that desperately wanted to be wrong yet you weren’t. “I haven’t been getting cases because all this time I was putting that shed together !” He chokes on a sob.

You would’ve been disturbed by his sudden burst of emotions and yet you can’t find it due to be so ill by the last couple of days. One bad thing after another all because of some cases.

“What the hell is that on your cast ?” He suddenly barks, his finger points at you like he was accusing you of something.

How dare he. “So you don’t acknowledge the whole situation of me having a fracture due to you sending me on the job but you can when there’s initials on my wrist ?!”

To make matters worse he completely disregards everything you said.

Especially the fact that you almost broke your arm because of him.

“Is it a guy you’re seeing ?” He raises a brow.

“I don’t even have time to be seeing a guy because I’m so busy doing your cases for you !” You scoff.

“You won’t be busy anymore .” He chuckles. You can almost feel a blood vessel pop. He has the audacity to laugh.

He doesn’t get it. He never will. He’s hungover and yet he makes more sense even when he’s drunk on the job.

He’s more incompetent when he’s sober.

It is only when you stand your ground and shout he dares to meet your eyes.

“The past year I’ve been following your lead with no arguments.”

If you weren’t wearing a cast you would’ve clenched your fist by now.

“You need to go to a rehab centre or a meeting ! I don’t care whether you spend twelve days or twelve hours this happens now !”

“I’m done.” You state before finally walking off, leaving him sat in shame.

But before you leave there was something you needed to do.

You stand still just like you were last night.

This time now however the sky is bright and the shed somehow still standing is the colour of coal.

The door frame was still intact.

The roof was caving in, it could collapse at any moment. But when the light catch something in the corner you instantly notice.

You gasp at the sight. You know especially now you shouldn’t ge typur hopes up. Clearly not but still there’s something…there !

In between two what once would of been boxes there was a file. Either it fell between the boxes or maybe it was shoved between the two. You shake you head at the thought

The file was about to crumble under your touch yet when you quickly flicker to the last page there a corner seemingly not destroyed by the fire.

At the bottom of the page the only speck clear of ash and ruin. Only one word or rather name was freed from the flames.

Johan

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TAGLIST: @nimuelis @meigalahadovna @sugaredpersimmon

[sumu-samu]

(Broken) Habits

Final part, glad to get this off my drive lol.

Master list | part 1 | part 2| part 3

Two months later

Since that night Cutie and Geordi either texted or called every night. Eventually Geordi moved back in with them, and for the first time in a while, it wasn’t silent. They still never asked to enter his mind, but not because they were over stepping that boubndry, but because they still didn’t trust themselves. If they did it once what was stoping them from doing it again. They couldn’t hurt Geordi like that, not again.

“Hey,” Geordi’s voice was soft, “Penny for your thoughts?” He gave them a half smile as he set their breakfast down in front of them.

They just shook their head, “No- nothing. It’s nothing.” They picked up their fork and started eating.

“Hey, Cutie…” Geordi also picked up his fork but didn’t start eating yet.

“Hm?” They hummed with mouth full of eggs.

“I- I’m not saying it’s something you have to do… not if you don’t want to… but I’ve just noticed that… you haven’t asked to you know-” He couldn’t even get the full thing out before Cutie almost choked before swallowing their eggs.

“I haven’t. I haven’t read your mind. I haven’t gone in there. I- I’m better I swear. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Panic filled their voice.

“No, no,no that-. I didn’t think that you did. You say you’re better and I believe you, it’s just… you haven’t even asked to… and… i guess its just… I kinda miss it.” He shrugged. “Do you think you want-”

“No.” They replied sharply without looking at him.

“That-... that was fast… is… is everything okay?” He was taken aback from how quickly they shut him down.

“Im fine.” a short respond with the same sharp tone.

“Cutie, I don’t mean to pry, and seriously if its something you really don’t want to talk about I’ll back off. But, I know you my love. I can see something is wrong. I’m still Geordi, you’re still my Cutie. The only thing thats changed is you’re getting help. You can still talk to me. Trust me. Like I trust you.: His eyes were full of concern, with love, with adoration.

“I-.. I do trust you Geordi…” The tossed their eggs around their plate with their fork.

“But-... There’s a but in there isn’t there?” Geordi layed his hand ontop of theirs.

“I don’t… I don’t trust… I don’t trust myself.” They looked up at him with sad eyes. “I’m scared Geordi. I’m scared if I’m allowed in once, I’m going to fall right back into that shitty person I was. The one who didn’t respect your boundaries, the one you felt necessary to compare to so shitty ex. I’m scared I’m going to hurt you again.” Their eyes began to water, they tried to bat away any stray tears, but Geordi took both of their hands in his.

“Look at me. Cutie, look. Recovery is a slow and strenuous process, I know it may feel exhausting, sometimes you’ll fall backwards and it may feel like you aren’t making any progress at all. But hear me when I say this, as an outside perspective, not as you, not as your lover, not as your boyfriend, as just Geordi, you have come so far. And it touches me to hear you say that the reason you haven’t is because you don’t want to hurt me, thats sweet, it is. But Cutie, you can’t trade one extreme for another. I like it when you talk to me in my head, its fun, it feels intimate, all I ask is that you ask before you do, and if I ask for some time, then give me a little time.” Cutie was nodding their head the whole time he spoke. “Now, do you think you would maybe want to…”

“I-.. N-... uh…” Cutie struggled they did, they really did, but like… one talk isn’t going to make those thoughts go away.

“It’s okay to say no. But just know that right now, in this moment, I want you in. I want you to listen.” He looked deep into their eyes. Cutie felt themselves nod their head. “Okay. well, youre more than welcome.”

Cutie entered his mind. Cute, so cute. They care, they’ve changed. Change, good, good change. Beautiful eyes. Can they hear? Can you hear? Are you listening? Cutie nodded their head. Good. good. Smile, cute smile, I love that smile, I love you. Never leaving. I won’t leave. I love you. Cutie chuckled “Geordi”

My name. Sounds sweet. I like when you say my name. “Yes?” whats up baby? What do you need? What can I do. Smile, keep that smile. Love that smile.

“Go eat your breakfast you dork.” They laughed

Laughing, cute laugh. Sounds like music. Like angels, I love that laugh, I love that smile I love you. “Right.” He got up and went back to his seat to eat. I’m so lucky, I love you. Look at me, let me see your eyes. Beautiful eyes, gorgeous eyes, I could get lost in those eyes. Hey don’t roll them at me. You know what? Just for that…

No, don’t you dare they tried to stop him but it was too late

Iiiits a smaaall world aaaftr aaalllll. It’sss a smaaalll world afterrr all-

I will disconnect if you don’t stop

With that the door bell rang.

I’ll get it! Geordi ran to the door before Cutie could even get up. They heard the door open Who? Familiar. They look familiar. Name… damn it why am I so bad with names “uhm… hello.”

“Hey! Cutie here?” A familiar voice rang out.

They got up from the table and went to the door, wrapping their arms around Geordi, “Hey Stealth, Hi Milo.” They waved to the slightly smaller male behind their friend. He was taller than Cutie, almost Geordi’s height but Stealth was a giant so they made everyone look small. He didn’t respond to the greeting.

“Milo, be nice. S’ry He’s a lill grumpy cause I made Him come. If we had it his way, we’d been layin’ in bed all morn’.” They waved their boyfriend’s pouty mood off.

Tall, scary, why does that man look so mad, should I let them in? I should let them in. Don’t be rude Geordi of course you should. “W-well, come in no need to uh, no need to stand out in the open. Un-unless you want to.” Geordi said nervously. He had met Stealth before, not Milo though, yet he was still intimidated by Stealths height. Shit, we didn’t clean. We haven’t even finished breakfast. Did you invite them? Why are they here? We didn’t have any time.

“Sorry about the mess, um. We weren’t really expecting you. Glad to see you though.” Cutie smiled at their friend.

You didn’t invite them? What kind of person invites themselves over?

My best friend kind. Geordi be nice.

Sorry.

“Oh it’s not a big deal to us. If you’d like we could leave and come back when ya’llfeel like you’ve cleaned up the place. Although, it looks super clean already. Well compared to how you had it when-” Stealth began to share too much information.

Cutie cleared their throat throwing them a ‘shut the hell up’ look. “No you don’t have to leave. It’s fine. Why’d you come over anyways.” They asked.

Compared to what? Why’d you stop them? What are you hiding you menace? Was it when I was at my sisters?

Shut up Geordi

“Oh honestly we-” Milo cleared His throat, “I- wanted to see ya’ll. Sorry bout Milo, he’s not usually this grumpy. He’s normally a super sweet guy.” They gave him a side glare.

“Not anything against you, you are a great person Cutie.I was just told we were going to the store and going back home. Sorry if it seems I don’t want to be around you.” He apologized.

“It’s okay Milo. Well while youre here you guys want a drink or anything? Wanna play mario cart or something?” At Cuties offer Milo’s eyes lit up.

“Oh hell yeah. I’d love to.”

They all sat on the couch and played marrio cart

[monako-jinn-stories]

Captain Howzer X Fem! Reader FanFic

Rebels on the Run

Main Master List

Multi-part Stories Master List

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Five

Swirls of faint light dance in the vast darkness of your mind. Whispers fill your ears as you try to listen and make out what they’re saying. Their colors differ, although you can assume what they mean. Blue and green are the jedi that are still pure, grey are those that walk the line between the light and dark, and red are sith and fallen jedi. Some are flickering, indicating that they might be faltering in their ways.

There are four lights that stand out to you; two red, one blue, and one grey. Anakin, Tayah, Obi Wan, and Ahsoka. They travel different paths, and none of them lead to each other. Part of you wants to find each of them, but you know that you have more important matters at hand.

One matter is how to get off of Ryloth. Nothing has been working out for you, and your hope is starting to wane. Although, you keep your morale up when Howzer is around, as you don’t want to worry him. 

Another matter is how to keep the two of you hidden once you’re off the planet. Dohbar likely will be a safe place for the two of you to stay, but you haven’t raised that question to Howzer yet. Plus, you haven’t been a ‘thing’ for long. You don’t even know what you really are. That’s a third matter, figuring out where you stand and what, if anything, is your label.

The fourth matter is Howzer’s aging. You want him to be able to live as long as he’d like, even though you’re not quite sure how long that is. A Kaminoan scientist had been working on Dohbar to come up with a sort of treatment to slow down the aging process for your battalion, but seeing as they were lost to the Empire, they no longer require it.

All this, plus little worries, have now replaced the lights of force users as stars in your mind. The big problems glow the brightest while the smaller ones twinkle softly. You let out a soft sigh in your meditation, blowing away all the issues and focusing on one.

A hand caresses your cheek and you open your eyes slightly before closing them again and leaning into Howzer’s touch. His breath is warm on your nose as he places a gentle kiss there, then one on each cheek, making you giggle. You open your eyes to playfully pout, causing him to chuckle in response. “I know you were busy meditating,” he says, placing a kiss on your forehead now, “but we should get going to the city before it’s too late.”

“About that…” you say, letting your fingers intertwine with his as he sits next to you, “I was thinking we could stay in the hotel tonight. I miss having an actual mattress instead of sleeping on stone. Plus, we’re already going there, so might as well make the most of it.”

“We could do that,” he agrees, “but I still think we should head out soon.”

“Why? You got a hot date or something?” you tease, nudging him in the side.

“Yes, the one by my side,” he replies with a smirk, “but also something else. I’m expecting a comm, that’s why I want to go to the hotel. I was able to use an old comm channel last time I was scouting. I reached an old friend of mine and we decided to do another transmission because I asked him to find some stuff out for me. He said he and some others might be able to help us get off of Ryloth, and soon!” he says, excitement building in his smile, “Just think, y/n, we can leave and never have to take another step into sand again! Wouldn’t that be great?” His smile is wide and expectant, but you don’t feel the same way as him. A silence fills the space between you as you sit and process his words. Your grip is tight on his hand, and concern starts to flood Howzer. “Y/n? Is everything alright?”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath before finally responding. “I know you’re trying to help,” you say slowly, “but using comms…it’s dangerous, Howzer. Especially if you use channels that the Empire might be able to listen in on.”

“There’s no way they could have, it’s an old channel that only clones ever used.”

“And how many clones have security based jobs for the Empire?” you counter, “someone could have heard you.”

“Well, my friend made sure-”

“Howzer, I’m not trying to argue with you,” you say, cutting him off, “but…I don’t want either of us to have gotten so far, gotten so close to freedom, and then have everything stripped from us again. The risk is far greater than the possible reward. What if it was a trick? What if the Empire somehow, I don’t know, copied your friend’s voice and way of speaking? What if they track us down? What if people get in trouble for allowing you to go free? I just can’t see a way in which no one gets hurt from this.”

Howzer shifts to kneel in front of you, reaching up and cupping your face with both hands. “I promise everything will be alright, y/n,” he says, “we can get off this planet and join the rebellion, fight for everyone’s freedom.”

“Join the rebellion…” you echo, and you have to swallow hard as you look away. “I…I can’t do that, Howzer. Not yet, at least. There’s something else that I’m responsible for, something closer to me.”

“Oh,” he says, pursing his lips, “I uh, I get it.”

“I’m not saying that I’ll never join,” you reassure him, “just that I have something else first. I failed someone, and I have this urge to try and meet them again, to see if I can help in some way.”

“Would you want some help?” he offers, but you shake your head.

“This is something I have to do alone. I guess you can call it a master and apprentice situation.”

“You had an apprentice?” Howzer asks, and you nod.

“Briefly. For a year in the middle of the war. But, things went wrong.” You don’t want to speak more on it, so you stand and pull him up with you. “Come on,” you say, “don’t wanna miss your comm date.”

“It’s far from a date,” he chuckles, following you out of the hideout, “it’s with a brother of mine.”

“I thought you said it was a friend?”

“Friend, brother, fellow clone trooper, it’s all the same to me,” he shrugs before climbing onto his speeder. Once his helmet is on, the two of you start your engines and race to the far town.

“So, who exactly is this friend-brother of yours?” you ask as you wait for him to get the comm set up. 

“His name is Echo,” Howzer replies as he begins to set up his transceiver. You stand off to the side, helmet in your hands as you wait for him to tell you it’s connected. “He was in the 501st under General Skywalker.” You stiffen then, heart lurching at the name. “Then he joined the group of clones called the Bad Batch, or Clone Force 99. He left them to join Captain Rex, also of the 501st, and help liberate other clones.”

“I know Rex,” you say, “and I knew Echo too. Although I never got to see him after he was rescued. I heard about what happened to him though. Are we sure he’s trustworthy? The Techno Union could have put some…programming into him. Can we really be sure-”

“If I wasn’t sure that he is trustworthy, I wouldn’t have let you be here,” Howzer says, looking up at you. “I would have told you it was too dangerous if I wasn’t sure. Same with Rex.”

You let out a sigh before nodding. Howzer finishes pressing a few buttons then nods at you. You slip your helmet on and watch as he puts his on as well. “This is Repeat and King reporting to Howler.”

“Howler here,” Howzer responded, and you instantly figure out the code names they are using. Smart, you think to yourself, but is it smart enough?

“Is Wizard with you?” Rex, that has to be him. The hopeful tone in his voice is all too familiar to you. And the way he says wizard, as if he’s remembering his own former general.

“Wizard is in the area.” Howzer’s vague confirmation of your presence sticks out to you. Just this small detail can be very confusing. If someone is listening in, they won’t know if you’re inside or outside, unless they have some sort of tracking technology.

“Good. Our information about exports is no longer confidential. We are contacting you to give a report.”

“We are prepared to hear the report.” Well, that just confirmed where I am.

“There is a cargo shuttle scheduled to pick up exports in city three at 0800 on Taungsday.” In three days time, there will be a ship coming to city three at 0800. But what is city three? “The ship will depart with exports at 0900, and no later.”

“What are the items that are being exported?”

“Local products, as well as a few foreign products that had been mistakenly imported a while back.” I guess we’re the mistaken foreign products.

“Alright, thank you for the information, Repeat and King.” Repeat must be Echo, while King is Rex. “Wizard and I will be ready to help load the exports onto the shuttle by 0900. We unfortunately have not been able to secure guards to make sure things go smoothly.”

“I’m sure there won’t be any interference,” Rex says, and hearing his voice again reminds you of the good old days. “We must go now. We will contact you if we receive any more information on the exports.”

“Thank you,” Howzer says before the transmission ends. You move from your spot and take your helmet off, sitting next to Howzer as he rests on the edge of the bed. “Three days,” he says, “until we’re finally off of this planet.”

“Hopefully,” you agree, leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder.

“We could just stay here until then. This is city three,” he suggests, but you shake your head.

“There are things I need to go get,” you reply. “Things I can’t leave without.”

“Could you bring them back here?”

“Too dangerous. It’s best if I get them and then stay back at the hideout until Taungsday.” Howzer nods, and you get up and stretch. “You know, I think I’m going to take a shower. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to use a proper sanisteam.”

“That does sound like a good idea,” Howzer agrees, and you turn to see the slightest smirk on his face, which gives you an idea.

“I’m taking one first, but you can have a little nap in the bed while you wait. Just don’t go on my side, I want the left.”

Howzer’s smirk drops and he purses his lips, which confirms your suspicions on his idea. “Actually, I was thinking,” he starts, “it might be a little wasteful for us both to take separate showers.”

“I was just going to take a quick one,” you reply, “maybe ten minutes at the most.”

“But that’s still ten minutes of water we could be sharing,” he counters. 

You feel a giggle slip from you and you shake your head. “Now now, Howzer, you should never try and convince someone to let you shower with them.”

“Wha-no!” he says, panic settling on his features, “that’s not what- I’m sorry-”

You walk over to him and grin, taking his face in your hands before pressing your lips to his. “I was joking,” you say as you pull apart, “I guess it was kind of a rude joke.”

“Yes, it was,” he says while playfully pouting. “I know how you can make up for it.”

You raise an eyebrow and step back, folding your arms while smirking at him. “Oh really? And how is that?” 

A grin spread over his face and he stood up from the bed, playfully grabbing your hand and starting to pull you towards the refresher. You stop, however, which causes Howzer to look back at you. “Are you…sure we should?” you ask, meeting his confused expression.

“Well, if you really don’t want it, we don’t have to. But I don’t see any problem with it.”

You sigh, taking a step forward and raising your hands to look at how they’re clasped together. “We’re getting off of Ryloth soon,” you start, “we’ll be free of this endless hiding. Well, I will. You’re going to go off and join the rebellion. Save your brothers who are still trapped in the Empire. We won’t be together anymore.”

Howzer’s eyes drop to your hands as well, and he squeezes slightly before pulling them to his chest. “You’ll always be here with me,” he says, pressing your hand over his heart, “even when you’re not standing by my side.” You lean forward and rest your forehead against his, letting a small sigh escape as you move. “But if you think this might be too big of a step, I understand.”

“Maybe…maybe when we finally leave.”

“Alright, mesh’la,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Enjoy your shower.” He steps back and smiles gently at you as you walk into the refresher. After you close the door, you hear the bed creak as he lays back down. Part of you feels bad for denying him, but another part of you thinks that going so far might be a mistake. Will you guys even still talk after you leave this planet? Are your promises just there to be broken?

You end up taking longer in the sanisteam than intended. Your mind wanders and distracts you, as well as the water. The warm liquid soothes your body, and you revel in the feeling you’ve been deprived of for so long. A soft knock on the door followed by your name is what pulls you back to reality. You turn the water off quickly and step out, looking around for a towel. “Uh, Howzer?”

“Are you okay in there? You’ve been taking a while,” he replies.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine,” you reply, taking another look around the room, “but uh…I forgot to bring in a towel.”

“Oh,” he says, “I’ll grab you one.” A few moments pass and there’s another knock on the door. “I have one.”

“Thank you,” you say, opening the door a crack and sticking your arm out. You wait for a few more moments to let him hand it to you, but nothing comes, other than a few chuckles. “Howzer?” you ask, sticking your head out, “can I have the towel?”

“Of course,” he replies with a grin, “it’s right there.” You look down to where he’s pointing, and the towel is just barely out of your reach.

You look back up at him with a raised brow, and his cheeky grin only widens. “You know I can just use the force, right?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “but you wouldn’t ruin my fun, would you?”

“You wanna bet?” you ask, and he gives a fake pout, making you sigh with a small smile. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Kisses and cuddles,” he instantly responds. 

“That’s all?”

“Well, if you insist on more-”

“No, no no,” you cut in, “that is enough. Now can you please hand me my towel?”

“Anything for you,” he says, walking over and picking it up before taking another step and kneeling down. He raises the towel above his head with both arms and bows slightly, saying, “my lady.” You roll your eyes and snatch the towel whacking him on the head briefly before closing the door and drying off. You then redress and step out to find him back on the bed.

“I’m not cuddling you until after you shower,” you say with your hands on your hips. “Since I just got myself cleaned.”

“Ugh fine,” he says, dramatically slipping off the bed and falling onto the floor. 

You walk over to where he is, grinning like a kowakian monkey. “You’re acting very…childish today,” you say, looking down at him, “is there something you’re happy about?”

He looks up at you with genuine confusion before standing up. “We’re about to get off of this rock,” he says, “of course I’m excited.” You look down again as your mind goes back to your inevitable separation. “Mesh’la,” Howzer says softly, reaching his hand out and gently lifting your face to look up at him, “it’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” 

You close your eyes again and take a deep breath, leaning back to look up at his messy curls. Your hand reaches up to run through them, and Howzer’s eyes flutter softly as he melts into the feeling. “I’ll let you go take a shower now,” you say quietly, moving your eyes to meet his beautiful dark brown ones. He nods, and you lean in to gently kiss him. His hands go to your waist and he holds you close, pulling you into a hug after you break from the kiss. You think about letting those three words fall out, but decide it isn’t a good time. So instead, you let your intrusive thoughts win. “You stink.”

Howzer immediately pulls back, giving you a look of fake offense. “How dare you,” he says, “and here I thought we had something special.”

“That smell is special,” you snicker, and he sticks his tongue out at you playfully, causing you to giggle. “Don’t forget your towel,” you say, throwing it at the back of his head as he walks to the bathroom. 

“Oh, you’re not going to tease me like I did to you,” he chuckles, and you pull the towel back with the force.

“I can if you want, or,” you say, grabbing your wet one and twisting it up, “I can be a lot more mean.” An evil grin covers your face, and a look of fear covers his as you run towards him. He lets out a yelp before slamming the door shut, and you laugh maniacally from outside. “I still have your towel!” you say while standing outside the door. 

“I’ll be fine without it!” he responds before turning on the sanisteam.

“Well it’s outside the door if you want it,” you say, crawling onto the bed before slipping under the covers. It’s been a long time since you’ve been this comfortable, and before you know it, you’re falling into a deep sleep. You barely notice when Howzer crawls in next to you, his arms wrapping around your waist as his nose buries into the back of your neck. 

You and him have never actually shared a bed before, not even just to cuddle. But it feels so natural when you wake up that you swear you’ve done it a million times. You don’t think about it for too long, though, as the coziness and warmth from Howzer pull you right back into sleep. Besides, you have a couple more days until your escape. You can spend the time cuddling with him, nothing will go wrong.

Right?

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[f1nalboys]

Hell house llc Paul o'keefe x reader

So you know how in the movie they have the girl in the basement chaned up for the haunt yeah well what if the reader and Paul yeah and this would be nsfw for sure

sighs dreamily. need him sooooooo bad anon....

Paul O'Keefe x Fem!AFAB!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1171

WARNINGS: nsfw, restraints, dry humping, dub con just to be safe but i didn't write it that way, pervert paul <3, cumming in his pants, dirty talk, no reader orgasm sorry bae </3, teasing paul teehee. sorta proofread

“So, no one’s gonna be able to touch me, right?” You ask Mac for the fifth time as he finishes strapping your hands into the restraints. The stone wall behind you was cold through the thin nightgown you were wearing and you shift your weight forwards, giving yourself room, goosebumps rising on your skin. 

He nods. “Yup, no one. And Pauls’ gonna be down here to make sure no one tries anything.” Mac meets your eyes and narrows them slightly, a teasing tone to his voice. “I mean, it’s Paul, so… he might touch you. Not that you’d complain…”

“Hey!”

“The walls here are thin, Y/N! You think none of us have heard the two of you before?” Your face heats up at this and your head turns towards the steps as someone walks down. “Speak of the devil,” Mac mutters with a grin before nodding his head at Paul as he enters the basement. “Hey, man. She’s all good, just have to cut the night gown and I’ll be heading back up to do a few more rounds before the show starts. Here’s the key to her cuffs.”

Paul doesn’t respond, his eyes dragging down your body, a smile breaking out onto his face. “Hey, hey, give me those.” His eyes snap towards Mac, reaching for the scissors in his hand. “I got it.” Mac rolls his eyes, passing off both the scissors and the key to Paul before shooting you a look that says ‘are you sure you want to be left alone with him?’ Paul gently pushes Mac, motioning with his head towards the steps out of the basement. “Leave us alone and don’t come down here for a little bit unless you want a real show.”

Your face heats up in embarrassment as Mac makes a gagging noise, ultimately retreating, leaving you and Paul. “Hi,” you say with a smile, well aware of your precarious situation. “Mac told me everyone can hear us when we have sex.”

“He should be thanking us,” Paul says, taking a moment to tilt his head at you as his eyes trail down your body, taking in your vulnerable state, a grin on his lips. “It’s not like he’s getting his brains fucked out every night; we’re doing him a favor, keeping him young, giving him some jerk off material!” You snort at him. “Besides, it’s you that’s loud, not me.”

You huff as he takes a calculated step towards you, thinning your lips when his fingers drag down your arms which were still locked above you. “You’re pretty loud too,” you say with a teasing grin, but it’s quickly wiped off of your face when he begins to fiddle with your nightgown. Had Mac done it, the cutting of your outfit would have been done in two seconds flat, but Paul wanted to enjoy it. “C’mon, stop that!”

“Stop what?” He asks, sinking down to his knees with a smirk. The metal scissors are cold as he drags them up your bare legs, his head tilting in amusement as goosebumps rise up on your skin in their wake. “M’not doing anything but what I’m supposed to, right?” He looks up at you, a single curly strand of hair falling onto his forehead. “Just getting you ready for opening night.” 

“You’re teasing me-”

“I’d hardly call this teasing, baby, I haven’t even done anything yet!” He brushes you off with a sly tone, easing the bottom of your nightgown up to your hips, revealing your underwear. He grins, placing a large hand on one of your thighs and squeezing when you squirm. “No cameras down here. No one would see what I’d do to you…” He’s seemingly whispering to himself now, barely casting you a glance as he runs his thumb along the hem of your underwear. “I could do whatever I wanted. I could fuck you, right here, right now, and no one but us would know.”

You squirm, swallowing heavily. Your face was hot and you were sure he could read the nerves and excitement in your face if he would just look up. “Paul,” you warn, your tone a tad harsher than you mean it, and yet it doesn’t deter him. “We can’t. You know we can’t.” Looking down, you watch as he lets your nightgown fall back around your thighs, sliding the scissors in between the fabric and making a deliberate cut. 

“Stop moving or I’m gonna nick you,” he says as he continues to cut the fabric in a straight line up your stomach and chest. He stands as he makes the final cut, the nightgown cut in half. You watch him carefully as he swallows heavily, leaning back to admire you. “Fuck, you’re so sexy.” He says with a laugh, finally meeting your eyes. He knows his compliment will make you squirm and it just makes his smile grow a bit more sinister. “How wet are you?”

“Paul!”

“I’m just asking! Whatever the hell that was, I’m considering it foreplay.” He smirks, running a hand down your side, moving so he was standing behind you. You crane your neck to look at him, his hands on your hips. Paul places a few kisses along your neck, waiting for you to sigh and give him more room before pushing against you. “I mean, fuck, can you feel how hard you made me?” 

He presses against you tight, his bulge pressing against your ass. He lets out a soft moan at the friction, his teeth scraping across your shoulder. “Paul, what-” He cuts you off with a shush, grinding his hips against you. He pants against the skin of your neck, low grunts and moans, a few curses, slipping from his lips. “Fuck.” You murmur, feeling a heat begin to pool in your stomach. The restraints holding your wrists up above your head clink together as you attempt to move your arms, helpless against him.

“God, can you feel it? How bad I want you?” He grunts, his breath picking up, and you can tell by the sputter of his thrusts against you that he was close. You whimper in response, inadvertently grinding back against him. “Yeah, you can. Sh-shit, gonna make me cum in my fucking pants, you know that, Y/N?” He laughs against your neck before biting down hard, his hands gripping your hips as tight as he could as he cums. “Thank you, baby,” he says finally, nuzzling against you. “Gotta go get changed now.”

Paul catches his breath, his hips occasionally twitching as he soothes the mark he made on your neck with his tongue. “No fair,” you murmur when he moves away from you, tugging at your restraints. “You got to get off! I’m gonna have to just fuckin’ stand here for hours!” “You were the one who said we shouldn’t fuck, I was just helping myself out.” He grins, raising his eyebrows as he moves to face you. “Besides, it always feels better after you have to wait, doesn’t it?”

(requests are closed - finishing up my last few ones!)

like my work and wanna tip me? consider donating to my kofi!

[xxnaiaxx]

Chapter 5: Movie Night

Summary:

Joining the Avengers has always Y/N's dream, however, she didn't realize it would cost her her relationship. Heartbroken, Y/N closes her heart to falling in love but will a certain Russian Spy change that?

I DO NOT OWN ANY MARVEL CHARACTERS*

This is my original work, I do not give permission for it to be reposted :)

Words: 3.0k

I apologize for the long wait, as a thank you for your patience I'm posting two parts tonight. I appreciate you all who take the time to read my work.

XOXO

----------------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks since your girl’s night with Natasha and Wanda. The compound had been pretty quiet, no missions or even signs of Hydra which was putting Steve a bit on edge. The rest of the team was glad to have a few days off and spent it hanging out with each other and relaxing. Currently you were all meeting up in the movie room to watch something. Wanda and Vision had arrived first, of course sitting next to each other. 

“Witchy. Android.” you grin and nod towards Wanda. She grabs the nearest pillow and throws it as hard as she can without using her powers, “You are such a dick!”. You catch it and begin to laugh, she laughs back at you. You liked the friendship you had with Wanda, it's lighthearted and fun but by the way Vision was clenching his jaw you could tell he was not a fan of it. You found it funny because although you and Wanda teased each other pretty much all the time, neither of you saw each other in that way. You made your way to the other end of the couch, opposite of Wanda and Vision but you could feel a pair of eyes still following you. Once seated you find those eyes to be Wanda who gives you a soft smile and you reciprocate the same before opening your phone to tik tok as you wait for the rest of the team to arrive. As you're scrolling you don't realize that Natasha had taken a seat next to you, she leans into you and speaks in your ear “Hey.” You look up from your phone to find her inches away from your face, “Hi.” you grin back moving your body so both of your shoulders are touching. 

“Have we decided what movie we're going to watch?” she says looking around the room with her arms crossed before her eyes landing back on you. She's so beautiful. I could look into her green eyes all day. Snap out of it Y/n. You can find her attractive right? But not in a crush way. Yeah. Not a crush. Natasha is just beautiful. You still haven’t answered her question stupid. You take a look around the room to see that you were still waiting on Tin Man and Old Man Rogers. 

“No, not yet.” you say back to her. “We’re still waiting on a few slow pokes.” She snickers at your comment but before being able to say anything back Tony enters the room. 

“Let’s get this movie started!” he claps his hands. You and Natasha look at each other, she rolls her eyes referring to Tony and you laugh. 

“Hey lovebirds, would you like to share with the rest of the room?” he teases, his eyebrow raised. You feel your face flush. Lovebirds? Why would he call us that?

“If you want to be included Stark just say so. Or even better, why don't you get here on time instead of making the rest of us wait?” Natasha responds. Stark rolls his eyes, before he gets to say anything Steve butts in and says “Alright settle down the two of you. Have we decided what we are going to watch tonight?” The team begins to shout different movie titles from all sorts of genres.

“Why don’t we watch something romantic? I’m in the mood for something cheesy.” says Wanda. 

“Keep it to yourself cupid.” Tony says, rolling his eyes as Wanda glares at him. 

“Come on, witch. In Asgard we put on battles as a form of entertainment, why don’t we try something more exciting?” says the God of Thunder.

“Both are terrible choices. Why don’t we watch a documentary? Something educational.” says Steve. 

Tony rolls his eyes, “Well aren't you the life of the party.” he says sarcastically.

Tony and Steve begin to go back and forth, Steve had enough of Tony always having something to say. It would've gotten heated if it wasn’t for Natasha interfering.

“Settle down boys.  Sit down and stop acting like children before you give Bruce a panic attack” she says sternly. You look over at Bruce and Natasha was not joking, Bruce was rocking back and forth breathing heavily. You walk over to him and kneel in front of him. “It's okay.” you say softly. “Copy my breathing. In..1..2..3. Out…1…2…3.” He mimics your breathing pattern. Once calm you walk back over to your spot next to Natasha. The boys sit down while they mutter underneath their breath but they don’t dare to say anything out loud in front of Natasha.

“I have an idea!” you say with a wide grin. You stand up and head into the kitchen and grab a bowl. 

“Was she planning on sharing it with us?” says Tony his hands in the air as he faces the rest of the team. You come back to the room with the bowl, a piece of paper, and pens. As you begin to rip the piece of paper into smaller pieces you say to the team, “We’re all going to write the title of a movie we would like to watch. Once written, put it inside the bowl and once everyone has submitted their movie I will shuffle the papers and have Nat choose one.” Everyone nods in agreement and begins to write their choice. After everyone has submitted their choice you mix the pieces of papers up in the bowl for a few seconds before turning to Natasha.

“Madam.” you smile and move the bowl towards her. She reaches and chooses a paper, she reads it and it was *your movie of choice (:* Tony asks JARVIS to search for the movie and you move into the kitchen to make everyone popcorn and bring out a few snacks. A few minutes later you join the team in the movie room and set the snacks down on the coffee table. You take your seat next to Nat, your body leaning towards her. About an hour into the movie you end up falling asleep, you tried to keep your head up but eventually were defeated and ended up resting on Natasha’s shoulder. 

Another hour goes by and the movie is finally over. You feel someone gently shaking you, “Y/n?” the voice says softly. You groan moving closer to Nat’s body. She laughs and gently shakes you again, “Y/n.” she says again. You open your eyes to find yourself still laying on her shoulder. Oh my god!! You immediately move away, your face flushed, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t-” She interrupts you, “Hey, Y/n it's okay! I ended up dozing off on your head as well, so I don't mind.” She puts both her hands on your shoulders and gives you a reassuring smile. Did I drool on her? This is so embarrassing!! You mentally slap yourself. Your face is still as red as a tomato. 

“Come on.” she gets up and reaches her hand. “Wanda is making dinner, chicken paprikash.” You grab her hand avoiding eye contact, she leads you into the kitchen. She lets go of your hand and goes to sit with Clint while you walk towards Wanda. As she sees you approaching she gives you a raised eyebrow and you look at her confused. 

“What's this look for?” you say.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” she says, still raising her eyebrow. 

“No?” you say confused. She smiles at your obliviousness. 

“What's going on with you and Nat?” she asks, her lips smirking.

“Nothing!!” you say defensively, not realizing your face is flushed. Wanda squinted her eyes at you and then all the sudden her eyes went wide. 

“You like her.” she whispers excitedly. 

“I- what?” you’re unable to make a sentence, feeling the room go hot. 

“I read your mind and you definitely think she’s hot.” she whispers loud enough for you to hear but you could tell if it was her normal voice she would scream in excitement.

“Stay out of my head Wands!” you say defensively before walking away. “We’re not done with this conversation.” she says through her powers. “Get out of my head!” you respond back as you make your way to sit with the rest of the team. 

Natasha’s POV

You found it cute how flustered Y/n got when she realized she had fallen asleep on you. If it had been anyone else you would’ve pushed them off but Y/n was different and you weren’t sure why. As you lead her to the kitchen you like her hands in yours and were disappointed when she let go to head over to Wanda. You make your way over to Clint and sit across from him with your legs up on the table. 

“Beer?” he offers and you nod. He looks over at Y/m and sees she's busy conversing with Wanda, you look in their direction as well. 

“What?” you ask, taking a sip of your beer. 

“You’re different.” he smirks. You raise your eyebrow waiting for him to explain. “Y/n makes you different. You’re sweet with her and gentle. Something unlike you.” he says genuinely. 

“Shut up.” you say sternly. This conversation made you uncomfortable, but he was right. You had never been this way with anyone. Then again Y/n was different. 

“I’m not meaning it in a bad way. You deserve to be happy Nat and Y/n seems like a great person. Don’t let your fears and the way the Red Room trained you towards love keep you from pursuing it.” You know he has good intentions but you weren’t even sure what you felt for Y/n, you just knew that you liked being around her.

Back to Y/n

You find your seat next to Natasha. 

“What are we talking about?” you say. 

“Nothing much. I'm going to get another, do you want one?” he gets up and gestures at his beer. You nod and give him a smile.

“Are you feeling rested?” Nat says, still sipping on her beer. 

“Yes. You were quite comfortable.” you smile shyly. 

“You know. Everytime I’m with you, you're always sleeping. Have you been having trouble resting?” she furrowed her eyebrows. You shrug your shoulders not wanting to let her know that your heartbreak was still keeping you up most nights. Though you were moved on from Sharon, it hurts how quickly she was able to let go of everything. How quickly you lost her support when you decided to follow your dreams. The memories kept you up some nights but there was no reason for Natasha to know that. 

“Food is ready.” shouts Wanda from the stove. 

“Saved by the bell.” you nervously chuckle and quickly get up and make your way to grab a plate. 

“Hm.” she raises her eyebrow at you as you walk away. 

The team enjoys Wanda’s dish which was absolutely delicious. All of you conversed about random things before each of you getting up to do your own thing for the night. You headed up to your room to take a warm shower. Once finished you slipped into gray sweatpants, a white crop, and a gray zip up jacket. You grab your phone and see a red bubble on your photos app. You open it to find a memory from when Sharon and you went on your first vacation. It had been the fourth of July weekend, so you both decided to spend it at a beach resort for a few days. It had been an absolutely amazing time. Memories from it came rushing back, what happened to that love? You begin to sob. You had done everything for this person. Had given up parts of yourself that you loved to fit better with her. And she left you like nothing. 

At this moment, Natasha is walking up from the dining room. She hears sobs and approaches your door, her ear against the door to confirm that the sobs were coming from your room. She knocks softly on your door. You rush into the bathroom to wash your face, whoever was at the door did not need to see you like this. Once done you walk over to the door taking a deep breath before opening it. 

“Nat! Hi!” you try to say as enthusiastically as possible, your eyes and nose still red. She looks at you concerned, “Y/n.” she says soft but stern. You look at your feet trying to avoid as much eye contact as possible. Please don’t ask. Please don't ask. 

“Come here.” she says. Shit. You feel a wave of tears forming behind your eyes.You bury your head into her neck, unable to hold your tears back any longer. She leads you to the ground, sitting down holding you in her arms. 

“Shhh. It's okay…It’s okay Y/n.” she says gently as she rubs your back. You sobbed on her for what felt like an eternity until you had no more tears left to cry. You laid on her chest sniffling. For a few minutes she didn’t say anything, letting you lay on her as she drew circles on your arm until you were ready. 

“Your shirt is all wet. I’m sorry.” you break the silence as you begin to sit up, your hands fidgeting.

“It’s okay.” she says softly. You could tell she was waiting for you to meet her eyes but you never did. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, concerned. 

“Not- re-really.” you say your voice breaking as your eyes begin to fill with tears once more. She nods concerned for your emotional wellbeing. She notices that you’re still anxiously fidgeting with your fingers.

“Hey, look at me..” she says gently as she reaches for your hands. You meet her gaze, “It's okay.” You nod, unable to fidget with your hands you begin to fidget with Nat’s. The both of you don’t talk for a few minutes. 

“Let’s go get some ice cream.” she smiles. You look up at her, an eyebrow raised in confusion, “Ice cream?” She nods and gets off the floor. She reaches her hand out, you grab it and she assists you in getting up from the floor. 

She takes you to an ice cream parlor in the city, the drive quiet. Natasha wanted to know what was going on inside you, what caused you to lay in her arms bawling for forty five minutes. But, she wanted you to come to her when you were ready so she didn't pry. The both of you sat in an empty field in silence enjoying the ice cream while looking at the stars. Thoughts racing through your mind. How did she know to come into your room? How did she know how to comfort you? 

“Can I ask you something?” you look at her setting your ice cream cup down.

“Mhm.” she responds, taking a lick out of her mint chocolate cone while still looking up.

“How did you know?”

She looks at you, “Know what?” Her voice was soft, a softness you had never noticed Natasha use but she was using it with you. 

“That…That I needed you.” you break your gaze, embarrassed at the words that had come out of your mouth. Did you need HER? Or just someone?

“I heard sobs in the hall. I wasn’t sure it was you but I had a feeling. When you opened the door, eyes were red and puffy, I knew.” You take a moment to take in her words. She looks back up at the stars and you do the same.

“You’re Black Widow.” you say. 

“You’re now realizing that?” she asks, her eyebrow raised. 

“Everyone talks about you as a cold woman. No offense.” She scoffs, “None taken.”

“I just mean that you’re not known for being the emotional or comforting type.”

“You’re special Y/n.” she simply says. You look at her unsure of what she means. “It's different with you. I can’t help but make sure you’re okay. I can’t keep myself from wanting to protect you.”

You both sit in silence for ten minutes before she breaks the silence. “Why were you crying?”

“It doesn’t matter.” you bring your legs to your chest and hide your face between your knees.

“It’s not going to do you any good if you keep it to yourself. How long has it been going on?”

“Since I joined the Avengers. Most of the time I am able to keep myself distracted but it all hits when I’m alone.”

“What does?” she says softly and comfortingly. She wanted you to know that it was okay for you to open up about it but only if you were comfortable.

“I told you and Wanda I had someone. Sharon… right before I joined the Avengers she decided our relationship was over unless I chose her and not the Avengers. I couldn’t, I had given everything for this person but… but she couldn’t do the same for me. Before you walked into the room, photos of our first vacation came up and it reminded me of everything we had. I don't miss the person but I do miss the love. I don’t understand how someone could just throw it all away?” She scoots closer to you and puts her arm around you pulling you towards her. You lay your head on her shoulder as once again tears begin to fall. 

“I don't know much about relationships Y/n but i can tell you this. People won't always give as much as you. If she couldn’t support your dreams then she didn't deserve you. And she was an idiot for letting you go.” She slips her hand under your chin, bringing your eyes to meet hers. “For as long as I’m here… no one will break your heart like her again.” She kisses your forehead. The both of you remain in silence for the rest of the night you were in the field, your heads still on her shoulder, her arm wrapped around you. Both of you are enjoying the night breeze and moonlight above you.

[aajjks]

okaaayyy, so i wasn’t expecting so much feedback like HOLY ISH! i was super nervous to send this but i hope you guys like it 🙈 also pls understand that jk was under the influence!!! he didn’t willingly get chaeyoung pregnant and y/n is more upset at his recklessness to drink before engaging in sexual activities with chaeyoung which, knowing the kind of person chaeyoung is, could have gotten him hurt or killed and he wouldn’t have known it. okay? okay 😊

TPOL!JK

ji-ae’s heart stops when those three words come out of his mouth. “wh-what? but you said it wasn’t?” she responds but you inform her that jungkook took a paternity test at the hospital and it is confirmed that park jaemin is jungkook’s son and ji-ae can tell you aren’t happy with the news.

she allows the both of you to come in her home and holds her son while you sit by yourself on the couch. your eyes are red and ji-ae is sure you have been crying as well. “it’s okay, jungkook” she says as he lets it all out in his mother’s shoulders. it must be nice to have a shoulder to lean on because your shoulder is in heaven above.

you wonder what your mother would say about a situation like this. surely she’d be upset, well, you would still be stuck in switzerland but she would comfort you through it all. supporting whichever decision you make because whether they’re good choices or bad ones, she always had your back.

you haven’t talked to jorja or yerin about it but you’re sure yerin is gonna tell you to flea the country again and leave jungkook to deal with his mess all alone. jorja on the other hand would tell you to kill chaeyoung, maybe. no chaeyoung, no problems.

“y/n?” ji-ae calls your name and you look up at jungkook’s mother who is sitting across from you with jungkook planting himself to your right. “how are you feeling, sweetheart? be honest. what’s going on in that head of yours?”

you take a deep breath having finally calmed down a bit and reach for jungkook’s hand to caress your thumb on the smooth of his palm. why are people so hellbent on breaking the two of you up? sure, you’re betrayed but you still love him.

he was drunk, she took advantage of him and she knows that, and you two weren’t together so whatever happened is in the past yet here are the consequences starring jungkook in the face. he made his bed so he either lies in it or just refuses to sleep.

meanwhile, you…

“i’m not mad at the baby. the baby is innocent. i’m more-so mad at his recklessness but i’m also mad that this bi—i mean—lady that is using her son to get at me and jungkook but mainly jungkook. she stalked and harassed him, ms. ji-ae she stole a PEN with his dna on it and that’s how she tested him!! i don’t want jaemin caught up in that. it’s not fair to the baby and the baby isn’t safe with her”

“are you two thinking of fighting for custody of the child? unless she has an insider messing with the test results?”

If you’re going to be with him, he’s willing to fight for the custody of the child, obviously cannot let chaeyoung use the poor child, who is not even a week old to have him to herself..

He honestly doesn’t understand her obsession with him. He’s not that special., sure he’s gotten money and looks and the body but she’s famous too, why would she decide to put everything at risk and have the child such a young age as hers?

Jungkook looks at you after wiping his tears, and he’s looking at you with hope. Whatever you decide from now on will happen.

“Y-Yn do you think we should fight for the custody?” He asks you, taking your hands in his, and he caresses them, Jungkook is so ashamed right now his heart feels so heavy.

He is never going to touch alcohol ever again

But his mother suggests something else, that makes his ears perk up. You look a little confused too as you give his mother a knowing look.

Of course, she can easily have a mole, maybe there is an insider that’s… “yn… do you really think that’s possible?” He asks you once again, biting his lip, because he’s so nervous.

“Mama what do you think we should do? I don’t know what she wants now that she has given birth to the child. Maybe I should go and meet her once more?” He says after thinking for a while.

And he knows what happened last time he went to meet her, but… it’s the only way she’ll tell him what she really wants if you go with him… she won’t tolerate that.

And you won’t tolerate that either because you’ve had enough of that bitch. But what if you get in a fight? He cannot risk taking you with him.

“I-I don’t know what she wants… I’m gonna go to the hospital tonight.”

[nihils-trolls]

Another long night lies behind one blueblood, having sequestered himself away in his lab once again. He was alone tonight, but that never bothered him. In fact, it was welcome with how busy he was- no time to entertain anyone. Bellam had walked right in and gotten right down to business.

… Going through the list of tests on his record, Bellam realizes something. The count doesn’t match the amount of samples gathered nearby. Looking at them closer, another switch ‘clicks’ in his head. There’s one there that he didn’t notice before, and as such, hadn’t touched.

Not this shit again.

Every once in a while, the cerulean finds an… extra. Something that wasn’t on the invoice, and usually in nonsensical labeling. Sometimes not even that. There was the bottle of a volatile oxidizer that nearly exploded upon trying to open it. And then the sample that quite literally grew legs and scuttled off. … The thought of that one still makes him shudder slightly.

There’ve been more alongside those, too. The unidentified organism that lived in his chemical storage being another one.

Seeing the container here in front of him- a sort of cylindrical tube with a bright blue (yet blank) label- it unnerved him. Bellam doesn’t know what to make of it. Every time he dares open these stupid things, it always ends horribly. Like a mystery unboxing video, except with hazardous and anomalous things he can never make sense of.

It’s not like he can just send it back, either. These samples, or what have you, just show up. There’s no one to send it back to.

In the end, he decides it not to be worth his time. There’s not even an obvious way to open it, so why bother? In the evening, he’ll call some disposal unit to come pick it up. It’s much too late in the morning for this, so he packs up and heads hive.

…

In the early evening, a call- or rather, several calls- wake Bellam. Having just missed the last one, he scrolls through the notifications. Voicemail, voicemail, another voicemail. A couple texts, too. He doesn’t recognize any of the numbers, but surely it’s important. Right?

Listening through two of them, they’re just asking for his urgent attention to call someone back on a matter they wouldn’t specify. But the last one is much longer. The person calling sounded… quite honestly, confused along with that heavy air of concern. But as they go on, he sits in stunned silence for a long moment- even after the message ends.

“Hey Bellam, it’s uh. You remember me, right? Philis, I own the site just across from your lab? I know we haven’t talked in… a long time but- ah fuck. Who am I kidding, that doesn’t matter.

It’s um. It’s kind of really important. You need to get down here, as soon as you’re able.

… I dunno the full story, but there was some kind of explosion during the day… or. Maybe an implosion from the looks of it- They’re not letting anyone get too close. I know it’s still super early, but seriously. You need to get down here ASAP.”

What. The fuck, he thinks.

Calling one of the earlier numbers back, he waits impatiently for an answer. The agent introduces themselves, and right away Bellam interrupts, asking what the hell happened. After a moment of silence, they respond.

“We don’t really know, and were hoping you could shed some light on the situation.”

The agent continues, explaining that they were trying to keep trolls away, with as tight of a lock on information as possible. But it’s hard to ignore a gaping hole of destruction in the side of a building, especially when there’s no debris from it. Meanwhile, he can’t really process or believe what he’s hearing.

“So, what. It’s just… gone?”

“Mostly, yes. Unfortunately, there’s not really a lot we can do here if you don’t have any more information. They’ll have to demo the rest of the place so it’s not a hazard to anything else nearby.

But you won’t be charged for that, more than likely. It was an accident.

… If you have any backup plans, contingency measures, insurance or the like, I suggest you try to act on them. I… I really am sorry-”

Bellam hangs up at the apology, ignoring that there might have been more they had to tell him. He’s still confused. Angry, sad, something. All of that at once, maybe.

No gas leak, not a fire or natural disaster. The only thing he can think of is that stupid fucking container he decided not to open, whatever it did after he'd left. What if someone else had gotten a hold of it? Or been in his lab when it happened? What if he had decided to open the damn thing?

Either way, a lot to process. So before doing anything else, he decides to lie back down for another minute. If anything, he feels it's a deserved minute.