#thank you for asking!! lili is so good i am rotating her in my mind

[marooncookie]

Lili Zanoto 💔💬

💔 - lili's mom is... not exactly alive. lili will go down to her grave sometimes and plant flowers around it so her mom has company while she's not there. when lili asked raz in an unusually solemn voice if raz wanted to see her mother he did not expect to be brought to a gravestone with at least 10 flowers planted around it, but he was honored to be there. lili added two more flowers that day

💬 - "can i just punch you in the shoulder really hard?" is the first one that comes to mind, but she has a lot of great lines.. i think "i'm going to kill you so hard!" was a line she said but its been a Bit so i might be remembering wrong,,

[mischief-managed-snitches]

Obispo Losa

Part two of Obispo and Lily. I have so many ideas for this and I'm so excited to try them out! Thank you all for the love and encouragement!

Warnings: Swearing, Angst

As always, I do not own anything Mayans related. I do own my character and her story.

My first language is English. I do know some Spanish but I am not fluent. I will be keeping the Spanish in this story to a minimum to avoid butchering a beautiful language.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"You said that last time, Leti."

"I know and I'm really sorry about what happened, but I swear nothing like that would ever go down here. The guys wouldn't allow it."

"I don't know, Leti..."

"Come on! Bishop has been asking about you. He wants to see you."

"He said that?"

"...In so many words."

"Leti!"

"He has been asking about you! 'how's your friend, Leticia? How's her arm? Have you seen her today?" Leti dropped her voice to mimic the low bravado that was Bishop's voice.

"He did not ask you all that!"

"He did!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Lily!"

"Okay, what time is this party?"

"Uhh the guys have a meeting and then we usually party afterwards. Maybe like eight o'clockish? I'll text you the address."

"Sounds good."

"Oh and Lily, wear something slu-"

Click.

Lily tapped the red button quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence. She would wear whatever she wanted and it would not be to impress any man. Or so she thought, until the clock ticked 7:30 and she was buzzing around her bedroom, ripping open drawers and rifling through her closet like a mad woman. Swearing under her breath, Lily's frustration mounted as nothing seemed to fit right.

Lily was a bit curvier than most women, especially her friend Leti. Borrowing an outfit from her would be out of the question and some how everything in Lily's closet just seemed wrong. Blowing out an annoyed puff of air, Lily looked back over her clothes, trying not to be so critical. Bishop probably wouldn't even notice, not with all his friends around. Or so she hoped...

Gravel crunched under her tires as Lily turned off the road and into the driveway of what looked like some kind of auto mechanic business. A sign for oil changes and tire rotations hung out front, welcoming visitors into what looked like a run down garage. Random cars sat around, looking like they were falling apart or maybe just scrap pieces for other projects. A house sat connected to the garage, a porch welcomed any visitors and a large fire pit sat in front of its steps with a few picnic tables dotted around.

Parking her car off to the side, Lily wondered if she had the wrong address. Eyeing the row of motorcycles, she changed her mind. This had to be right.

Lily stepped out of her car just as the front door opened. A man she recognized immediately stepped out. Black hair buzzed close to his head, thin mustache, thick muscled arms. Oh yeah, she remembered him. He had steadied her when the guy had shoved her and then later, Leti had hugged him like they were best friends.

Lily offered him a smile, noting the way his leather vest differed slightly from the others she had seen. "Hi, I'm Lily, Leti invited me?"

"Yeah, hi, EZ."

"Wait, what?"

"Ezekiel Reyes, EZ for short." He grinned, "nice to meet you Lily." His eyes seemed to twinkle in the fading light. Somewhere in her mind she knew instantly that he was someone she could trust and with that realization a portion of her nervousness evaporated. EZ met her at the bottom of the porch steps, shaking her hand gently.

"Nice to meet you too." She couldn't help but return his smile, it was infectious.

"Leticia's inside, you can head on in, I'm going to start a fire." EZ jerked his head toward the door.

"Thank you!" Lily stepped inside, looking around at the unusual decor. A large statue of Saint Mary stood by the door, various framed pictures hung on the walls and the furniture looked like hand-me-downs from an array of different homes with different styles. The place was definitely decorated by men. Lily laughed to herself, smile growing as she spotted her friend across the room. Though the place was dimly lit, Lily could plainly see Leticia working hard behind the bar. Her hands moved quickly, preparing drinks, or food, or both. Glancing up as Lily shut the door, Leticia let out a squeal.

"You made it!"

"I did!"

"Yay! Get over here and help me prep this stuff! The guys will be out any minute."

"Out?" Lily dropped her purse on the bar stool at the end before walking around the bar. As expected, there was a mini kitchen set-up back there. Fridge, stove, microwave, sink, what little counter Lily could see was covered in random food items. Everything from salsa and chips to hot dogs and hamburgers sat before them.

"Yeah, they had a meeting tonight, but it should be over soon." She nodded in the direction of a rusted sliding door. "They'll grill the meat for us, but I like to have the sides and stuff ready to go a while."

"Okay," Lily wasn't sure what kind of meeting she meant, but it didn't matter anyway. She was too busy trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach to ask anything else. Leti handed her a knife and a bowl of peppers, instructing her to chop them up.

Lily had just finished the bowl and was washing her hands when a metallic screech filled the. Lifting her eyes as the door rolled open, Lily watched as the first few guys stepped through. One broke away from the rest, smiling at her as he plopped himself on the nearest bar stool.

"What's up, how are you?"

"Good, thank you, better than when we first met."

"Glad to hear it!" He swiped a stand of black hair away from his face, smiling at her warmly.

"Lily, this is my dad, Coco."

Lily felt her brows raise, surprised by the information. He looked so young, more like a brother than a father. She didn't comment on it though, instead, she smiled, offering her hand, "nice to meet you, Coco. Thanks for helping out the other night."

"Nahh, that was all Bish. We were just back up if things popped off."

"Sounds like they did later!" Leti jumped in.

"Yeah! Heard Bish broke that pendejo's nose!"

"Serves him right!" Lily stayed quiet, smiling as Leti and Coco continued talking. They really did act a lot alike and the resemblance in their faces was uncanny.

Eyes flicking to the doorway again, Lily was surprised by the amount of disappointment that washed through her.

"Bish is still at the table. Thinking things through I guess." Coco supplied, meeting her eyes with a knowing smile. Lily blushed, nodding as she looked down at her hands.

"Why don't you take him a beer? Tell him the meats on the grill?" Leti suggested, elbowing her gently.

"Yeah, that ones his favorite." Coco leaned across the bar, pointing to one of the many bottles they had just uncapped for the guys.

"Do you think that would be okay?" Lily asked awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other.

"As long as he's not talking business with anyone, he shouldn't care." Coco shrugged, taking a bottle for himself.

Lily nodded again, grabbing the bottle he had pointed to and striding confidently across the room. Her bravery didn't last long though. By the time she was standing in the door way her anxiety was back in full swing. The coast was clear, no one else was with him.

He sat alone, smoking a cigarette, papers laying in front of him. The room was dark, one single light hung overhead, casting a soft glow over Bishop's chair. He looked like a king sitting in the spotlight. His bulky frame illuminated against the dark of the room.

It's now or never.

Lily cleared her throat, stepping into the room hesitantly, praying he wouldn't throw her back out. He looked deep in thought and extremely tired, probably not in the mood to chit chat. This was a bad idea. Lily berated herself. What made her think this was a good plan?

Bishop's head lifted, cigarette nearly falling out of his mouth as he realized who was joining him. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked at her. Dark eyes fell all the way to her feet, taking in a pair of blood-red heels before dragging slowly up her body to land on her face. The black dress she'd chosen clung to her body in way that she hoped was flattering and not accenting her every bump and roll. She shifted on her feet, suddenly questioning her decision to wear this outfit. That was... Until she watched his tongue poke out of his mouth, wetting his lips almost nervously. Dropping his cigarette into a nearby ash tray, Bishop stood up, almost toppling his chair with his hastiness.

"Lily?"

"Hi, Obispo." She smiled, heat rising to her cheeks as he stared openly at her. "I umm... Brought you a drink." She lifted the bottle, stepping closer to hold it out to him. She swallowed hard as he walked around the table, wrapping his hand around the neck of the bottle, grazing her fingers as he took it.

"Thank you." His mustache lifted as he smiled at her, eyes twinkling with something she couldn't place. "Am I drinking alone?" He spoke teasingly, lifting the beer to his lips and taking a slow sip.

Lily watched his throat work as he swallowed it, clocked the way his plush lips pressed against the glass. Clearing her throat again, Lilly took a step back. "I-I don't really drink, but I uh... I wanted to let you know the meats on the grill a- and the food will be ready soon."

"Thank you," he said again with that same smile on his lips. He was amused by her awkwardness, finding her stammering cute. He liked this kind of nervousness, jitters brought on by attraction and not fear. Seeing her retreat another step, Bishop pushed off the table where he was previously leaning. "You don't have to go."

"I should help Leti with the rest of the stuff." Lily jerked a thumb over her shoulder, stumbling as she bumped into a chair.

"Watch that, querida." Bishop gave her a lopsided smile, taking one long step forward, the urge to be closer to her guiding his feet.

"Yeah..." Lily took another step back, tripping over another chair in the process. This time she couldn't catch herself, she was too shaken, too flustered. Bishop lunged forward, wrapping an arm around her waist before she could fall.

He pulled her upright, tugging her against his chest, steadying her with one hand all while holding his beer with the other. The little gasp that left her lips had his heart stuttering in his chest. "Easy does it, querida." His breath fanned her face, his voice low and soft.

He smelled of cigarettes and leather and a hint of spearmint. His hand laid heavy on her back, fingers splayed wide, each one burning a hole through the material of the dress. He was warm and tall and all hard planes where she was short and soft, fitting perfectly against his broad chest. Lily's small hands pressed to his stomach, torn between pushing him away and letting him hold her.

"Bish..." It was soft and breathy and effecting him in way that was completely inappropriate for only talking to her twice.

"I'm here, Preciosa." He spoke with the same volume as her, hushed, low, a tone that shot right to her belly. Her insides seems to melt and mush. A shiver crawled down her spine, goosebumps raising on her arms. He gazed down at her, dark eyes boring into hers as his thumb traced a slow circle on her lower back.

"Lily! Get your ass out here and help me!" Leti yelled from the other room sounding agitated. Lily startled in his arms, and just like that the spell was broken. Her hands were pushing off his stomach and she was stepping away before he could stop her.

Bishop dropped his arm reluctantly, feeling as if all the heat was zapped from his body as he did. It took everything in him not to reach out and pull her back, instead he gripped his beer tighter, sinking back into a chair as she disappeared through the doorway. Releasing a sigh, Bishop raked a hand through his hair. Shit.

[cruisinwritealong]

R/S CandyHearts Challenge

Thank you @goodboylupin​ for this wonderful challenge! I had so much fun thinking this through. I hope you enjoy it! ♥♥♥

Thanks to @starstruck4moony​ and @kattlupin​ for the beta 😘

Remus hauls his backpack strap back up his shoulder with a frustrated groan, tightens his scarf around his neck, and then shoves his mittened hand back into his coat pocket. The bitingly cold wind blows hard and he hunches his shoulders against it. 

AAah-choo!

Shit, he feels like death. His throat is on fire and all his joints ache. His nose is raw and red, his eyes are puffy and heavy, and all he can think about is the warm blankets draped over his comfy sofa that he crawled out of this morning to trudge across the freezing campus to this fucking final. 

Last. One. 

He just has to get through this exam. One last final exam and then he’s free to sleep for the rest of his life...or until next term but still. If he was feeling well he’d be all but skipping to class. He knows this material backward and forwards. But his head is swimming and he keeps on snee- sneez-

Ah-CHOO! 

Uuuuugh.

He just has to get there, regurgitate it onto the page, hand it in, and then he can go home. He can do this. 

The snow crunches under his boots as he trudges along, forcing his feet to move one in front of the other towards his building. He’s probably sick enough to call in, but this test is with Professor McGonnagal and she only accepts death as an excuse to miss her class so she’ll definitely fail his exam if he doesn’t show and then he’ll fail the class and he could lose his scholarship and have to drop out. Then he’ll never get a job and end up on the streets and then people will look at him with pity in their eyes and hopefully toss him a coin and—oh, the coffee shop. 

Tea.

Fuck yes. A huge ass cup of tea will get him through this. That’s exactly what he needs...aaaaand if he gets the chance to see Sirius Black real quick well, that’s always good medicine—even if he doesn’t know that Remus exists. 

Sirius Black has only said six words to Remus in his whole life—“Would you like a honey bun?” And Remus had stared at him for an alarmingly long time just thinking to himself, “As long as it’s you,” but then Sirius looked confused and all Remus’ blood rushed to his face and he only mumbled a quick no thank you, grabbed his tea, and ran. Sigh. 

That was exactly 5 weeks and 3 days ago, not that Remus is counting. Or going to the coffee shop on the daily to see if he’s working. Or ordering a honey bun almost every time. Or dreaming about calling Sirius his honey bun or—

Cough Cough COUGH

Ouch. 

On second thought, maybe a coughing, snotting, feverish mess isn’t his best look. But fuck it’s freezing and he needs that tea. What time is it? Yes, he’s got plenty of time to duck in, warm-up, and make it to class. 

As soon as he’s inside the shop he pulls off his mittens, loosens his scarf, and unzips his coat a bit, all while stomping the snow off his boots before walking further in. The heat from the cozy little coffee shop defrosts his bones and hugs his aching muscles and it feels so nice that Remus moans out loud before he can stop himself. He hears a throat clearing from behind him.

Shit.

“Come on in, I got the heater cranked nice and toasty just for you.”

When he looks up, none other than Sirius Black himself is standing there in all his glorious perfection. How he can even make a barista apron look sexy is beyond Remus’ comprehension and really, really unfair.

Everything about Sirius Black is simply gorgeous. Every inch of him, down to the last detail just does it for Remus. The wisps of hair that fall around his temples, the silky look of his longer raven hair, the piercing, unique silver-blue of his eyes outlined by the curving, eloquent lashes. Remus could and has written poems and pages about just his face. Not to mention his sharp, stubbled jawline and pouty rose colored lips. And then there’s the strong, wide shoulders and strong, toned arms, and long fucking legs and that goddamn body and OK Lupin focus! He’s talking to you!!

“Umb, h-hi. It’s really cold.” Remus internally cringes at his horse and stuffy sounding voice and lack of intelligent conversation and when he looks to Sirius’ face he sees his easy smile falter a bit.

“Hey, are you ok? Don’t take this the wrong way please but, you look miserable.”

“Oh. Yeah,” he tries to laugh it off, “I habe a co—a col—AH-CHOO!” He lowers his handkerchief, “A cold. Sorry aboud that. I—”

“Remus, you should be home in bed. What are you doing out?”

“Well I juss needed some tea before my final. Trust me, I’d much radder be in bed—wait. You know my nabe? How do you know my nabe?”

“Oh, um,” Sirius’ laugh sounds forced and almost embarrassed. He scratches the back of his neck. “The red head you come in with sometimes is sort of hating, sort of dating my best friend. So...I um, I asked her who her cute friend was.” He swallows hard.

Remus has forgotten how to have a coherent thought and just stands there in silence with his jaw dropped open a bit. He blinks. 

“Buuut I’ll just get you that tea,” Sirius spins away on his heel, completely misinterpreting Remus’ silence. “Still on a cinnamon kick? I can make you your usual. Or I could make you something herbal with some ginger. I hear that helps with a cold. But I’m sure you know what’s best.” Sirius talks rapidly as he walks behind the counter and fusses with the equipment. 

Remus realizes Sirius is trying to fill the silence and quickly move on from what he just said. Because Remus is still gaping at him with his mouth open and still hasn’t said anything because motherFucker he thinks I’m cute! Cute. I’m cute. Cute friend? Oh, that’s me. Nice to meet you.

All he’s ever said to me is “honey bun” and now he knows my fucking name and I’m the cute friend and am I awake? Maybe I’m still on the sofa at home? I must be asleep because he knows my fucking name. He said… shit breathe. I have to breathe. I have to breathe and I have to talk!

“Honey bund,” blurts out of Remus’ stupid, traitorous mouth. Fucking hell.

Sirius stops the frantic tea making and lifts an eyebrow in confusion, “Honey bun?”

“I mean... I didn’t dow you dew my namb. And you asked me if I wanted a honey bund. Before. When I came in before, but that’s it.” Remus scrunches his face and tries again. “Sorry, I took bedication and I think it’s eating my brain. You said …I’m cute?”

A smile unfolds on Sirius’ face and it is like sun rays breaking through the clouds. It is breathtaking and Remus can only stand there and bask in him. Without conscious thought the corner of Remus’ mouth pulls up a bit too.

“You’re sweeter than a honey bun. And very cute.” 

“I...No that’s...You—Ah-Choo!”

“You’re also pretty sick. And as much as I want you to stay, I’m thinking you should probably be resting, yeah?”

“You’re sweet doo.” Remus smiles. “Um. I have to go take this stupid test and then sleep for a few days but...um, could we maybe, um—”

“Yes.”

They both laugh and smile at each other.

“I’d love to go out with you Remus. As soon as you feel up to it of course.”

“I’d really like that Sirius. May I habe—hab—Ah-Choo!”

Sirius frowns in sympathy. “Well I hope you can rest really soon. Here. It’s not actually tea, just um, just hot water with some cloves, lemon and ginger because my friend swears by this when she’s sick. I hope you like it. I can make something else, I just thought—”

Remus reaches out to take the cup but when his fingers wrap around the cup and Sirius’ fingers, he doesn’t let go. “This is perfect. Thank you.” 

“Good. ...Good.”

After a moment Remus lets their fingers slide apart and wraps both his hands around the steaming cup. Now he’s warm for more than one reason.

“Oh,” Sirius says, “I um, I wrote my number on the cup. You can call me if you need more tea or anything. Soup even. Or a date. Whatever you need.”

Remus laughs. “Sounds good...I’b glad I stopped in.”

“Me too.”

“See you soon Siri—Siri—Ah-Choo! Uugh.” He does his best to smile back at Sirius while he bundles up again. “Bye Sirius.”

“Feel better, Remus.” 

Sirius’ sweet caring face consumes his mind as he walks to his building, somehow not as cold as he was before. When he enters the classroom he nods hello to Lily and she waves him over to his saved seat. When he reaches his desk he sets down his tea, pulls off his mittens, scarf, and coat. Lily begins giggling to herself and Remus is very confused.

“What?” he asks her quietly. All she does is rotate his cup around so he can see the writing on the side and gives him a very knowing look.

438-9713

Feel better soon Honey Bun 

xo SB

[anonthenullifier]

Alright, my headcanon/prompt that's been living in my mind rent free is the idea that Vision doesn't buy Wanda flowers, he buys her vases with sprouts on them, new life ready to grow. When he first heard of people gifting each other flowers he didn't fully understand why you would kill something, and make your loved one watch it slowly wilt away, when you could get them something they'd help survive. After watching so many loved ones die, I just think Wanda would be really touched to help something live and grow (just like her love for him blossoming)

I love this head canon so much. So damn much! I’ve written a story before (It’s About Thyme) that has them planting a garden and nurturing it as a way to mirror their relationship so to say I like to think about them with plants is an understatement. And then your gorgeous head canon looks at it in a way I never thought about and it’s perfect. Thank you for sharing it!

Here’s a little fic that came to mind as I was reading your ask. I hope you like it!

—

To say Vision is perplexed would be an understatement. Which is itself surprising because he has come to a tentative theory that to be human is to be irrational, and yet this, this crosses a line of reasoning he cannot begin to fathom. Typically he would have Wanda here to volley his concerns towards and to then explain in however many examples and phrasings that it takes for him to understand. Except he is here covertly, under the expert opinion of Sam, to procure a token of affection for all that Wanda provides him. Which brings him to a standstill of indecision waltzing along with a niggling horror at all the implications.

Luckily for him, he hopes, there is a sales associate close by. “Pardon me?” The man turns towards him, brown apron emblazoned with stitched on daisies and a name tag that reads Samuel, a fitting name since the other Samuel in Vision’s life suggested this course of questionable action. “I was advised that purchasing and gifting flowers is a socially appropriate way to convey affection.”

Samuel’s eyes squint for half a second, a common reaction whenever Vision goes out in public. “Uh, yeah. What does your special um,” this scanning over of Vision’s body is also common, uncomfortable, but he does his best to act unperturbed otherwise it might stoke potential fear into ire from his observer, “individual like? We’ve got roses, carnations, lilies, daisies, asters. Anything float your boat?”

If this decision were a boat it would be taking on waves at the moment. “But all of these have been removed from their roots.”

“Yeah, kinda the whole point of making a bouquet.”

The sass is not appreciated but Vision believes in remaining polite because the attitude of the man could be compounded with mistreatment from other customers or negative life events and not solely due to Vision’s inquiry. “Does that not mean they will wilt and die?”

Samuel does not share the distaste for this thought, a simple shrug and a rather unhelpful piece of advice given, “They all come with flower food, helps them stay fresh a bit longer.”

“I see.” Vision determines this issue may be best cogitated alone, so he sends a polite, tight lipped smile towards the man, “Thank you, Samuel.”

“Yep.”

The man leaves and Vision continues his stare down with the beautifully variegated display case in front of him. The differing colors and petal shapes form a kaleidoscope of awe, one that feels romantic and wispy and desirable. Except they will all wilt, the petals will curl up and fall to the ground, and within a week it will be in the trash. His love is not so brief, so fragile and he is perplexed as to why he would present Wanda with a token that cannot survive. Would it not imply his love will fade? That he will, even if fed her own love and passion and attention, eventually fall away from her? Even if she were to dry them out, like he has seen Laura do at the Barton farmhouse, it would require her to keep them someplace safe and to never touch them, the lifeless remnants too delicate and brittle for anything other than distant observation—a poor metaphor for his intended message.

Wanda has endured so much already, the memories as vivid as the Tiger Lily in front of him, days of listlessness and tears, evenings brimming over with invasive memories of all the deaths and all the pain, the only salves he could offer were strong arms and gentle reassurances. Why would he gift her something that will also die? Provide a further suggestion that her life must always be dictated by loss? Why would anyone, rational or not, believe temporal brevity a better show of love than something lasting?

Vision turns away from the bouquets, prepared to leave the store and find somewhere quiet to reassess his gift. It is this defeated swivel that brings a small display into his view, one tucked away as if it was an afterthought. On it are simple clay pots of various sizes, bags of potting soil heaped on the ground next to it, and a little table top rotating kiosk of seed packets awaiting to be planted and nurtured into a long and beautiful life. Vision’s lips curl up at the new idea in his head.

————

There is a subtle chime to her left, in the general vicinity of her door. It is the closest he ever gets to a knock. Wanda puts her book down and waits for the unmistakable gleam of vibranium and the glow of Vision’s phasing to come through the wall located mere inches from her fully functioning door. “Hey Vizh.”

He pauses, irises twisting rapidly to the left and lips puckered as if he’s been caught doing something wrong. Which would be not using her door and yet he still persists and still always makes this face, and it’s a welcome joy in her day. “Good afternoon, Wanda.” Unlike usual, his hands remain behind his back, pulling the threads of his synthetic sweater into a tension similar to his body. “I, um, brought you something.”

Hoping to ease his nerves, she shuffles to the side a bit and then pats the mattress, inviting him to come over and haltingly lower himself to the bed, body remaining twisted to hide whatever it is. “What is it?”

Slowly he brings his arms into view and in his right hand is a clay pot with a little seed packet inside, all wrapped up in a red bow, and in his left is clenched a small bag of soil. Wanda shares her gratitude with a smile, scarlet twining around the gifts and bringing them to her hands to inspect them closer. “I had been informed by a trusted associate that flowers are considered the socially acceptable gift for conveying affection.”

Gently, soothingly she offers a minor correction, knowing he doesn't like to be embarrassed by misinterpreting social advice. “Usually they mean a bouquet.”

A grave nod accompanies his, “I am aware.” Vision lifts his hand, waving it around to help usher out the full story, “But it seemed incongruous to provide you a fleeting gift for a sentiment that is not so,” he hesitates, maybe because he realizes the implication himself or because he can see it in the growing smile on her face, either way he’s committed to the admission of how long he sees this new relationship going and she’s hoping he won’t back down now. And he doesn’t, even if he stammers through it. “brief. I would rather my affections be shown in an appropriately long lasting form.”

Experiencing the fascinating way his mind works is always a pleasure and, due to listening to him and learning the way he thinks and feels, she understands it perfectly, feels a deep, warming thankfulness at this chance to play a hand in allowing something to live and grow, a chance she’s been denied so much before. Wanda ropes him closer with her powers and firmly plants a kiss to his nervous smile. “Thank you.” She unwraps the bow and studies the picture of a happy sunflower, a little confused. “I didn’t think these were indoor plants.”

“Oh well,” now that an explanation that is not tied to emotions is needed, he loosens up, “they are meant to be started and nurtured indoors and then, once large enough, can be moved outside or to a greenhouse.”

“Do we have a greenhouse here?”

Vision considers this, lips parted as his thoughts tick away. “Well no, but it could be enjoyable to convert one of the older equipment sheds into such a structure so we could have a year round garden.”

This simple gift blossoms into something bigger, something rooted in a hope for a future together. “I think it would be fun.”

“Yes,” Vision slips back into a slight, carefully paced cadence, “I selected this particular flower because it is often symbolic of adoration, loyalty and um,” he acts as if his actions have not already made it clear, as if his words should be a surprise, one he isn’t certain she’ll like, “longevity.”

Wanda offers a sunny smile, hoping to sear away any question as to her appreciation and reciprocal feelings, “I love it.” An equally exuberant curve forms on his lips. “Want to help me plant it?”

His instantaneous and joyful, “Of course,” is all it takes to settle them into a path towards a life and love they’ll nurture together.

[theroomofreq]

Personality Before Punctuality

In honor of #Jilytober2020 I decided to rewrite this fic from four years ago! It’s a meet-cute Muggle Au because I am a sucker. 

AO3

Lily was lucky, she thought, that her boss adored her to no end. Horace Slughorn owned The Hallows bakery where Lily was recently hired. Her interview lasted all of two minutes before Slughorn announced, “You’re a real gem Miss Evans. It would be a shame not to have you in our midst here at The Hallows.”

Lily was an hour late on her first day but somehow, she charmed the unnaturally stiff bakers to love her, they had to kick her out of the kitchen though.

Lily Evans had many talents but fell short –extremely short- when it came to baking. She did much better as the face of the store greeting and assisting customers. Lily still arrived late every day two months into the job. It was also every day that her personality came to the rescue with a witty joke and a smile.

personality before punctuality. personality before punctuality.

Lily rehearsed the mantra in her mind over and over again as she bustled through the crowds. She was going to be late again, and if she didn’t have something hilarious to say those bakers would really take the mickey.

Her walk to the bakery was usually busy about this time, and almost all of her fellow commuters would gather together before one street crossing.

Lily doubted there was a time that this place wasn’t crawling with pedestrians. The traffic light here had a sick sense of humor, it always made Lily late. In fact, it made everyone late. Her watch turned to 09:11 and the scowl on her face intensified with each passing second. 09:12. Lily turned her glare up to the light again and sighed. Instead the face of a crooked nosed man interrupted her view of the offending light. Due to her bad morning ‘tude she managed to deepen the glare, and Mr. Nose snapped to face forward.

Honestly.

Lily shook her head at the ill-mannered man, that small shake of her head brought her attention to the persons to the right of her. All of whom were blatantly staring at her, with strategic accuracy she sent a glower in their direction.

The whole situation seemed uncanny to Lily and particularly creepy. As she whipped her head round and around the crowd, she found almost every person to be staring at her. 

By the third time she sent daggers to a gawking bunch of teens she noticed there was only one person who wasn’t staring directly at her. It happened to be the bloke directly to her left.

She couldn’t gather much from his appearance, because hello staring is rude, only that his right arm was lined with tattoos. The man seemed not to notice nor be bothered by the fact that everyone was apparently obsessed with Lily today.

So, she decided to inform him of the situation, “By the way everyone is staring you’d think they’d never seen a red head before.”

Tattoos let out a low chuckle before he said, “Honestly. People these days.”

“They are starting to flock like vultures.”

“Look out,” he gasped, “that girl at 2 o’clock might get drool on you if she comes any closer.”

Lily shifted closer to him before she said, “If this goes on, I might be able to start charging for autographs.”

Tattoos choked a bit, “Well err,”  Nervous. He sounded nervous; Lily could work with nervous. “I do hope I could secure your autograph before prices skyrocket.” He finally managed.

Lily smirked and turned to face him before replying, and the tables turned. Tattoos wasn’t marked on his right arm, but on his left arm as well as his neck- Lily choked.

His neck was inked from the base to the edge of his jaw, with a stag’s antler.

Tattoos was not just tattoos, he was famous.

James Bloody Potter.

Lily was not the type to be star struck, really, she wasn’t. But let’s be real.

James Bloody Potter.

Lead guitarist to The Marauders, a band that recently rose to fame. Lily loved their sound and their original lyrics, and it seemed that a lot of others in London did too. And it might help that each member was exceptionally fit. James Bloody Potter included.

His hair was a right mess, his curly locks were inky and seemed stubbornly stuck in a messy mop atop his head. Did Lily mention the tattoos yet? They should be high on the list. Really high. His specs were important to notice too, they didn’t exactly seem to be the type found on a rockers face. But somehow Potter had them tilted at just the right angle that it didn’t matter.

So, go ahead sue her, she’s a bit enamored with a terribly fit guy in a band who’s smirking down at her.

Deal with it.

Seeing him came as a bit of a shock, it wasn’t exactly every day Lily ran into a witty guitarist on the way to work.  It definitely wasn’t every day that she spoke with famous attractive men. Hopefully she could change that.

It took her a moment to realize she needed to reply, “Perhaps we could work that out” she tried to add on a smirk, but undoubtedly failed.

James Bloody Potter. She could stare at him all day.

OH.

oh oh oh oh oh.

Shit.

Lily suddenly caught on. No one had been staring at her.

They’d been staring at him.

James Bloody Potter.

The famous musician from a up and coming band. The ruggedly handsome man next to her was catching all the attention, not her.

Apparently, her ego was unnaturally high today.

It wasn’t her at all, it was the bloke to the left of her. Lily was turning redder with each new thought.

She was so wrapped up in the embarrassment of her blunder it took her a second to realize that Potter was talking, “Ever think about getting a bodyguard? I hear those are dead useful.”

Only barely recovering Lily said, “Not really.” She gestured vaguely around her, “This is all new to me. I was hoping to be sneaky.”

“Just between you and I,” he said behind his hand, “Sneaky doesn’t seem to be working.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Like you’d be doing any better.”

Potter threw his head back laughing, “Love, in my experience it’s usually the drastic measures that handles these things best.”

Lily heard the shuffle of footsteps and reluctantly pulled her eyes from him. The light had switched, and her fellow pedestrians were moving to cross. Lily took a step forward with the crowds and turned back to Potter. But he was gone, she looked ahead to see him surging ahead in the crowd, pushing and shoving to the front.

“Drastic?” Lily called after him.

The guitarist sent a nod over his shoulder to her before turning completely around to walk backwards. His hands shot into the air as he announced, “Alright people. I know Red here is devastatingly attractive,” Lily felt her jaw drop. “But all this staring is a bit excessive. So, if you all could kindly go back to your business that would-”

“Oi,” Lily interrupted, “Don’t think I don’t see you two trying to snap a photo.” She sent daggers to the two girls about to record Potter’s display, “I’ll be having none of that.”

In response Potter sent Lily a grin, “Yes ladies, sorry, she will be having none of that today.”

At this point the commuters safely crossed and started making their way down 12th, “Thank you all very much. Have a beautiful day!” he yelled out to them with a wave and a smile.

Lily continued straight instead of turning with everyone else, the bakery was just ahead, and was pleased to see that Potter did the same.

“I don’t think I’ll be needing a bodyguard as long as you stick around,” she said. 

“Well,” he pulled his hand up to splay across his chest, “I do specialize in the drastic and dramatic.”

Lily laughed, she supposed it had worked, he earned credit for that. Not to mention the fact that it was the most entertaining thing that happened to her all week. 

“Shall I scout ahead then?” He asked her.

Lily turned to face him with a quirked eyebrow. “What?”

“Scout, ya know. Race ahead determine if the area is safe. It’s what I think a bodyguard might do.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, somehow, she didn’t quite believe any bodyguard would race at all. But there was something about this Potter fellow that made her curious. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

A small smile appeared on his lips before he spoke, “Err, I was actually supposed to turn back on 12th.” He began to card his fingers through his hair while he watched the ground below.

“Ahh. I see.” Lily could feel the ridiculous nature of her smirk, “Go on then. Scout ahead.”

Potter’s head snapped up at that last bit, pulling his hand out of his hair and into a salute he said, “Copy that,” and took off.

He ran straight down the walk and into a collection of people, Lily figured a good scout would have ran around them in order to avoid detection.

Potter was not a good scout.

He took on the group by twisting and turning between each person. As he completed a full rotation he called out, “Spin move!” Lily was positive that spin moves were not stealthy enough for a scouting bodyguard, although his efforts did make her lips tug upwards.

After making his way through the disgruntled bunch Potter took off in a dead sprint, blowing right past the bakery. It was then that Lily decided that James Potter was the biggest dork she had ever met in her life.

He skidded to a stop a few paces past The Hallows Bakery and approached a lamppost. Lily laughed as he began to slink around it. His back pressed flush against the pole he slowly lowered his legs into a squat and made his way around to the other side. To him the movement was athletic, sneaky, and clever. To Lily it was ridiculous, unnecessary, and hilarious.

Lily shook her head as Potter took off once again down the walk, in a fashion that was none to sneaky, her head movement caused her to realize she too had passed the bakery. She wasn’t sure what exactly had distracted her from missing the bakery just a few storefronts back, she just knew she was later than ever.

personality before punctuality. personality before punctuality.  

“POTTER!” Due to the fact that he was still sprinting away Lily determined he hadn’t heard her. “HEY POTTER.” She yelled again, this time she caught his attention, he whipped around with an eyebrow raised at her. Lily simply jerked her thumb over her shoulder then turned back toward at the bakery. Potter dropped his brow and ducked his chin as he ran to catch up to the red head. Lily heard his chest heaving as he fell into step beside her.

“Took it a bit far that time, eh Potter?”

“Never can be too careful love,” his hand was in his hair again. “That lamppost looked rather shifty to me, had to check it out.”

Lily couldn’t bite back her smile. “That’s exactly the type of dedication I’d like to see in a full-time scouting bodyguard.”

“Aye aye Ma’am,” his hand snapped toward his hair, but remained solid in his salute.

Lily snorted into her laugh at his attempt to hold still. As she glanced sideways his salute broke to run his hand down through his hair. Unfortunately, along with the glance to Potter she realized they had come upon the bakery again. Lily stopped and began gathering enough charm to hopefully make up for her tardiness.

personality before punctuality. personality before punctuality.

“Err…could you perhaps, well if you don’t,” Potter’s stuttering pulled Lily back to the guitarist in front of her, “I was hoping. Well as long as it’s all right. It would just be such a shame.”

“Potter. Get on with it already.”

“Can I getyourautograph, it might not seem like it but I really do-”

Lily stopped him with a sigh, “Fans, can’t escape ‘em.” She held out her hand, “Got a pen on you?”

His eyes lit up with his grin, “Funny you should ask that,” he said, “Recently I acquired the habit of carrying one around with me.” One hand went to rub his neck while the other sank into his back pocket and produced a black marker.

“Fancy that,” Lily hummed as she took the marker from him and uncapped it. Lily reached out and snagged Potter’s wrist and ran her eyes around his inked arm trying to find a spot for herself. Finally, she settled on a blank section along the inside of his forearm. Lily held fast onto his wrist as she wrote her name along his arm, ensuring to take up as much surface area as possible.

Lily Evans.

“Wouldn’t mind if you put a number to that name love.” His smirk was audible in his request.

“Don’t push your luck Potter.”

“Course not,” he began. Lily pulled back from her handy work, capping the marker before she turned it back to her fan. His eyes lingered on her name a bit too long before he pulled his eyes up, “Evans.”

Lily couldn’t hold back her smile as he looked down at her with wide eyes.

“Wear a hat next time,” she said as he returned the pen to his pocket. “Perhaps that might prevent the need for drastic measures.”

Potter looked gob smacked, “And ruin my hair? Not a chance.”

Lily shook her head at him as he plowed through his hair yet again.

“Whatever Potter,” she dropped the line from the corner of her smirk, spinning toward the doors.

As she reached for the handle, she caught a, “S’later Evans.”

Lily didn’t need to turn around to know there was a huge grin on his face, but she did anyway. However, the grin wasn’t pointed her way, instead it faced down on his arm where she had left her name. And if it was that grin of his that made her so exceptionally late to work that day, then perhaps she would like to be delayed by James Potter far more often.

[kalimagik]

Should’ve Said No

Sirius Black x Reader 

Marauders Era 

Based off the song “Should’ve Said No” by Taylor Swift

<3k

Warnings: Angst and mentions of cheating

A/N: I’m back with another song based fic because that’s one of the few places that I draw inspiration from. I had a three hour car ride, listened to this song on repeat a million times, so in short, this fic just wrote itself! If you enjoy it, like, reblog, comment, or follow (I think you get the gist so far!) It’s my first time writing for Sirius, so I hope you all like it! Happy Reading <3

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I knew the risks that came with catching the eye of Hogwarts’ biggest playboy. I knew his reputation. I had stayed away for a decent amount of time, but the boy finally wore me down at the end of sixth year. He asked and asked. He said he was done with his play boy life. I said yes. Everyone was surprised I said yes. Hell, I was surprised that I said yes, but it was worth the risk. Sirius Black had my heart in his hands. He was careful with it too, almost delicate. 

Then seventh year kicked in and so did the beginning of quidditch matches and parties. I did as much Common Room rotating for the parties as the next girl, but the one time, the one time I decided that school was more important, he wasn’t strong enough to not ruin everything. Let me go back for a minute. 

Lily came up to me during lunch the other day, I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday, and sat with me at the Y/H table. 

“Did you finish that Transfiguration homework Saturday?” she asked me casually, but seemed to have a little bit of a tremor in her voice. 

“Yeah, Remus was a ton of help. Thank you for telling him that I needed him even though I didn’t want to ask. How was the party?” I asked, thinking nothing of it. It had been Gryffindor’s turn to host, but I wanted to get a good grade in my N.E.W.T. level transfiguration this year, so studying took precedent.  

Lily grew quieter suddenly. 

“That bad, huh?” I giggled, judging her reaction. “Where’s James?” 

I was still so daft. So stupid to think that everything was normal. Lily’s boyfriend and my boyfriend were best friends. It brought us closer than ever and it made me happy. Sound began to fill the Great Hall as others came in for lunch. 

“He’ll be along. I just wanted to talk to you,” Lily piped up again. “Are you almost done? Could we go to the loo to talk for a minute?” 

“What is with you, Lil?” I was worried now. Lily was usually such a happy presence to be around, but that day, something was off. I gathered my things, following Lily to a bathroom a little ways from the Great Hall. What was she so upset over? I hoped she was alright. “Oh, look! There’s James and Sirius!” 

I had started to call them over, but Lily quickly pulled me through the door of the bathroom. 

“Seriously, Lily. What’s up? Did James do something? Should I warm up my wand?” 

“He didn’t do anything, Y/N.” I just stared at her, mouth slightly opened. I was wracking my mind over what had potentially happened that had her acting this way

I realize now that I was so worried for her when she was just being protective over me. 

She finally spoke. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but you deserve to know. He isn’t going to tell you, Y/N/N, but I like you and it isn’t fair.” 

“What are you rambling on about?” 

“Sirius cheated on you…” she finally blurted out. My whole body went numb. I didn’t even hear her say who it was with. I later found out it was Marlene. That was a whole other beast to deal with. We were never that close anyways, so it didn’t surprise me. 

Like I said, I knew his reputation. 

“Y/N/N? It was at the party. I don’t know if he was drunk or what. I wasn’t paying much attention. He begged me not to tell you and James even begged me to give him the chance to tell you. I did. It’s been nearly 5 days and he hadn’t and I couldn’t just watch him with you, acting normal. I’m sorry.” 

I realized then that I hadn’t said anything yet. I stood there, staring at the sinks behind Lily. I didn’t even look at her. My gaze shifted to my face in the mirror. The color had drained from my face. I couldn’t even see any emotion in my features. I could only feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. 

Then Lily asked those dreaded words. “Are you okay?” I looked at her, a blank stare still ensuing, “Oh, no. You’re mad at me. I am so sorry, really. I didn’t want to tell you all of this.” 

Words finally found their way to my lips. “I’m not mad at you, Lily. I’m mad at him. I’m going back to my room. I may see you tomorrow. I don’t know.” 

I bolted to the door and for the crowded halls. I didn’t want to be with anyone anymore. I heard Lily calling to me over the noise. “But, we still have classes today!” 

I wasn’t going to classes. I was processing. Processing was allowed right? I just found out that my boyfriend, correction, my now ex-boyfriend, cheated on me. I would face him later, but for now, I needed time to myself. 

With classes continuing, my room was completely empty. The moment the doors shut, the tears began to roll down my face. I scanned the contents next to my bed. There were those stupid flowers that Sirius had given me the previous Friday. 

I stood in front of them on my night stand. I felt all the hurt and anger that had been numb explode. They burst. My hands acted on their own accord. I picked up the flowers in my hand. They were so delicate, but the anger flowed through my veins and instinct threw them against the wall. When the noise of the limp plants didn’t give me any satisfaction, I followed the flowers with the vase. The smashing sound of glass against the wall was all I needed to hear to know that I was broken inside.

 I skipped my afternoon classes, falling into a heavy sleep, exhausted from the crying. It felt like a hippogriff had run me over. I got up to use the bathroom later and assess my running makeup and horrendous bed head. It was bad, but I didn’t care. I enchanted the door so that no one could come in. They’d only be able to enter when I gave permission. I just needed to be alone in this school that was now seeming all too small.

 When I skipped dinner too, I knew someone was bound to come searching for me eventually. Only, I was expecting Lily or one of my roommates to knock on my door. For some reason, the idea of Sirius coming to talk to me never crossed my mind. 

I heard someone attempt to push against the door as I curled up under my blankets. I felt like they would protect me from the world. 

“Love? I know you’re in there,” Sirius called out to me from behind the door. “You skipped classes and dinner.” 

His voice was so calm. Surely Lily told him that I knew the truth about his weekend. He should be a mess like I was right at that moment!

“Go away. I’m not feeling well,” I lied. I wasn’t ready to confront him then. I wasn’t ready to even look at him. 

“Evans told me,” he sighed. I could hear his fingernails scratching against the wood. Another pause. “I know you know.” 

“Then you know why I don’t really want to talk to you.” I couldn’t help but let the blunt words take the place of my gasping and sobbing. I’d rather him hear the harshness in my voice than any of the hurt. 

“Y/N, darling. I will take it all back if you just give me one chance. It was a moment of weakness, love. With the party and the alcohol, it just happened. It meant nothing though.” 

I had no response for him. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. 45 minutes may have passed. Sirius tried to speak to me a few more times. I even heard him trying to counter the charm I used to lock the door, but he couldn’t. He had no choice but to leave. 

I endured the cooing and sympathies from my roommates, but I hated it. I hated feeling like this. I hated feeling hopeless. This wasn’t my fault. I was a victim, but I’m not weak. 

I couldn’t sleep all night, so I silently moved around the room and placed all of Sirius’ things in a bag. His records of the muggle music he adored, the remnants of the flowers, even the pictures of the two of us. I didn’t want them. 

I marched down to breakfast with the strong intent of telling him off in front of everyone. Everybody in this bloody school knew what had happened by now. I’m sure Marlene basked in the mess she caused and would tell anyone who wanted to hear about it. So, I wasn’t going to let our break-up be ruined by rumors. I’d let everyone witness it first-hand. 

I combed my hair. Redid my make-up. This didn’t hide the fact that I had been crying all day and night, but I don’t care. I needed to do this.

So now, here I am, standing outside the Great Hall. Students from all the houses are eating their breakfasts and I’m holding this bulging bag. 

I feel Lily Evans’ bright green eyes on me as I walk down the length of the Gryffindor table to where she was sitting with Sirius and the other Marauders. From the short glance towards her, I can’t tell if she is scared about what I am going to do or proud. I don’t really care at this point though. I am here on a mission. 

“Pads,” Remus whispers as he is the first one to see me walking towards the group (aside from Lily). 

I’m carrying this bag and just thinking to myself how strange it is to think the songs we used to sing, the smiles, the flowers, and everything is just gone. His dark, piercing eyes met my own. He doesn’t look like a mess. He looks perfect like he always does. This recognition just fires the anger that has been building up inside of me all morning. 

“Y/N? You’re up! Excellent!” Sirius smiles at me. He reaches out to take the bag from me as if he’s helping. “I was thinking perhaps we could have a chat this morning before classes? We could go to the courtyard.” 

I examine him. He seems different to me now. He was pretending like nothing was wrong while he was in front of his friends. I can read him. I know this. 

“I don’t think so, Sirius. Those are your things.” I spit out at him, pointing to the bag now in his hands. Hoping that I am wearing a blank face, I watch his fall. I know he can tell what I’m feeling through my Y/E/C eyes. He always did say that they gave me away every time. 

“I told you last night though. It didn’t mean anything.” 

Scoffing, I can’t stop myself from shaking my head. “No, Sirius. Yesterday I found out about you and even now just looking at you feels absolutely wrong! I heard you last night. You say that you’d take it all back given one chance. It was a moment of weakness-” My arms were flailing as I began to yell. I’ve never been capable of keeping my voice down. I know I’m loud. “And you said yes!” The words bellow out of my throat and I feel like they echo. I don’t know. I’m mad. I’m not finished either. 

Sirius looks at me as if he wants to speak, so I have to cut him off quickly. 

“You don’t get to talk yet.” 

The silence of the Great Hall was deafening. I know that everyone is watching us. Although, I am feeling extra strong. Maybe all those girls that Sirius screwed over in the past were sending me their strength. 

“I was studying the night of the party. It was the first one that I missed and you messed it all up! Here’s what should have happened.” My hand motions are taking over as the words roll off my tongue. I didn’t even plan any of this. “You should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home, you should’ve thought twice before you let it all go. This school is so damn small that you should’ve known that word about what you did with her would get back to me!” 

Maybe I shouldn’t have just pointed to Marlene at that point…oh well. Put my focus back on Sirius. 

“I should have been there in the back of your mind. I shouldn’t be asking myself why all of this happened. You shouldn’t be sitting outside of my room begging for forgiveness at my feet. If you would’ve said no, we would still be together. I did everything right! This is your fault!” 

His eyes widened at my words. I can’t look at him anymore. I’m not eating breakfast, but it’s fine. I would be on a high from this for at least a little while. I could probably get through my morning classes. I don’t have any with Sirius, so that wouldn’t be a problem. I do have them with Remus, so that could pose an issue, but with what I am feeling right now, I can take it. 

“Y/N! Wait up!” Lily’s red hair chased me from the crowded hall. Her face was lighting up everything else. “That was awesome! I mean, Sirius isn’t looking too great, but you were fantastic! I think some people wanted to applaud you on your way out.” 

My high began to fade. I didn’t mean to make him feel awful. I just didn’t want to let it seem like he could walk all over me and what he did was okay. It isn’t okay! Cheating is one of the lowest things a person could do! 

Lily could see the uncertainty on my face. “Was I too hard on him? Should I have done that in private?” I could feel my eyes begin to puff and redden again. 

“He deserved it, Y/N/N. What he did to you wasn’t in private, so I think this is justice.” Lily smiled. 

That smile quickly fell. I turned to follow her line of sight. Sirius stood there, just looking at me. He was being quick to run up to me. 

“Can we please talk?” 

“That’s not a good idea.” 

“I said I’m sorry. It’s all in the past!” His eyes are pleading with me, but I just can’t do it. “I want to be with you, Y/N! I have wanted to be with you for the longest time. It was just a moment of weakness. If you could just give me a chance, please?” 

“You hurt me, Black.” I needed to stop and cringe. I used to only call him by his last name and it felt wrong to be using it again. “You can tell I’ve been crying, just look at my eyes! I’m sure everyone can see it. And you know all the right things to say! You’ve always been good with words. That’s one of the reasons I fell for you. But do you honestly expect me to believe that we could ever be the same after this? You should’ve said no, Black.” 

I turn to walk away, Lily being supportive next to me, but something is tugging on me, a question I didn’t realize I had, so I turn back to Sirius. 

“I need to ask you something before I go. I can’t resist. Was it worth it? Was she worth all of this?” 

Sirius hung his head. I haven’t seen him like this since he decided to leave home, and I was just a friend at that point. “No. She wasn’t.” 

I nod, accepting the fact that he understands that he messed up. Maybe, in the future I can forgive him for this and even be friends, but like I said, we could never be the same. Walking away right now seems like the best option for me though. With Lily beside me, I am going to go to classes and I am going to heal and move on. I said my peace to Sirius Black. He made a mistake, but I would not be the victim of the next one. 

[queen-scribbles]

Breather

Oh, look, another @speakergame​ fic for Phillip. It’s only fair, right? Callie has one with Delia and one with Sebastian, so now Phillip has one with Steph and one with Rory. EQUALITY. :P (vaguely spoiler-adjacent, technically, for the end of the last update.)

----

The human body did have its limits, and no amount of dread or determination could overrule them forever. So while rotating drivers meant they didn’t have to stop overnight on their dash back to Nivio, back to people who could help, who would know what was wrong with Stephanie(and, by extension, him), they would have to make brief pauses at a couple rest stops along the way.

They made it an hour or so into Colorado before the first one. While part of Phillip chafed at the delay, the part that desperately needed a breather, needed to stretch his legs kept him from going insane. He and Steph (and Lily) were all too familiar with the importance of not sitting too long, but under the circumstances he almost wished they were pushing “too long” even further than they already had.

So he paced. Rapid, driven figure-eights around a pair of empty weather-beaten picnic tables, occasionally widening to loop a nearby clump of prairie grass. Arms crossed, head... somewhere. There was too much on his mind for a specific chain of thought.

He was so drowning in that too much he almost walked slap-bang into Rory.

She rocked back on one heel with a sound that was almost a yelp to avoid their collision, then grinned. “Okay, much as I would have deserved that, I do come in peace.” She held up a pair of small crinkly orange and white bags. “With snacks.”

One side of his mouth made a brief attempt at a sheepish smile and he raked one hand through his hair. “Sorry. And thanks, but I’m not really hungry.”

Rory shrugged and tucked the bag she’d offered in the pocket of her flannel shirt. “Alright, more for me.” She plunked down on one of the picnic tables, feet braced on the bench seat, and had the other bag tugged open before she paused to look at him. “Unless you wanna be alone with whatever thoughts have you all.... like that.” She swirled a hand in a general encompassing gesture toward him and Phillip couldn’t help huffing a small laugh.

“Nah, you’re fine,” he assured her, voice still hoarse and breaking from the aftermath of Cammore. He’d kill for another good cup of tea.

Rory nodded and fished a pretzel nugget out of the bag. “Okay, 'cause I saw you over here by yourself an’ thought you might want company, but just realized some people like to be alone sometimes, so I don’t wanna intrude if you’re one of those people. ‘Specially with all the shit you have going on right now."

This time he couldn’t stop a full laugh. “I am one of those people, but this is not one of those times. I just needed room to pace. Your- Company’s prob’ly a good thing; distract from the radio static in my head.”

She wrinkled her nose sympathetically and tossed the pretzel nugget in the air, leaning sideways to catch it in her mouth. “Well, then, I’m happy to distract you, Phillip.”

He liked the way she said his name, barely managed to keep from saying so in his frazzled, sleep-deprived state. “Thanks."

Rory studied him as he paced and she chewed. “I’d say you can take a seat, but after all that time in a car, you probably wanna stretch those long legs, huh?”

“Yeah.” Especially with Lily driving and Sebastian up front again; he’d been squished in one of the back end seats with Steph practically in his lap. Not a bad thing, given the circumstances, but still very cramped. (He decided not to overthink long legs. His height was pretty obvious and he’d already blushed far too much around this woman to be reading extra meaning into things she said. Even if she did think it was cute.)

Despite the mention of distraction, neither of them spoke through his next couple figure eights. Rory made a good show of catching the pretzel nuggets each time she flicked one in the air. Phillip’s pacing showed as he watched.

“See something you like?” Rory teased when she caught him and his ears started burning immediately.

“No- I mean, that’s not...” Phillip groaned and suppressed the urge to yank his jacket’s hood up over his face. “You’re good at that” --a nod toward the snack bag--”and I-I’m impressed.”

“With my snack-catching skills?” She grinned. “Fitting, I guess, huh? Considering the whole.... were-something thing..”

He laughed. “Hadn’t thought of that.”

Rory cocked her head, fiddling with the next pretzel nugget a moment before tossing it up. “Whatever it is, I hope it’s something cool.” She flicked the pretzel nugget up and leaned forward to catch it.

Phillip shrugged. “I think it’s cool in general, whatever your animal form winds up being.” He didn’t mention the year in elementary school he’d spent wishing he was a werecat instead of a Speaker. They hadn’t known each other quite long enough for that. Yet.

“Aw, you’re sweet,” she said with a light laugh. “So. How ‘bout you?” She picked out another pretzel.  “How’re your snack catching skills?”

“I do alright,” he said, a brief smile tugging his lips. “Better’n my sister, anyway.”

Rory’s grin widened and she patted the table next to her. “Lemme see.”

Phillip only hesitated the barest second before taking her up on the playful challenge. He sat next to her--closer than he normally would have to avoid what looked like bird droppings--and took the bag of snacks she passed him.

The first one he caught. Second one bounced off his nose but did go in his mouth. Third one he missed because Rory was giggling about the second one.

The fourth one he leaned so far back to catch she had to grab his arm to keep him from falling off the table. The fifth one, at least, was a clean catch that allowed him to reclaim some of his dignity.

“See?” Phillip mumbled around the mouthful of pretzel and cheese.  “I’m okay, but not as good as you.”

“Mmhm,” Rory laughed as she balled up her snack bag and tucked it in her pocket. “I did see.”

Phillip half-smiled in answer to the twinkle in her hazel eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. He wished this could just be what it looked like; sitting on a rest stop picnic table with a pretty girl, goofing off with snack food and not minding how silly they looked. But his throat was still sore and he could see Rory’s scars and couldn’t quite forget the shaken, pissed look in Steph’s, or that Lily didn’t know what was going on.

The distraction had been nice while it lasted.

“Thanks,” he said softly, fishing out another pretzel and eating it normally. 

“Don’t mention it.” Rory raked a hand through her hair, curls tumbling even more helter-skelter behind the motion. She nudged his knee with her own. “Least I can do after how much you’ve all helped me.”

Phillip opened his mouth to protest, but just then Samson trotted over and stuck his head against the hand not holding a mostly empty bag of pretzels. Phillip’s first instinct was something happened to Stephanie, but a quick glance showed her in conversation with Sebastian and Az and seemingly just fine. (Considering) So he scritched Samson’s ears instead as he commented to Rory, “You say that like you haven’t done anything else to help.” 

“Well, you did save my life and all,” she said with a shrug. “And I gotta wonder what the dreaming about you thing means, so call it curiosity coupled with gratitude.”

“Just don’t want you thinking you owe us or anything...” His voice started cracking again and he let the end trail off.

Rory flashed him a sympathetic smile. “Maybe you should hold off on the talking?”

“Leave it all to you?” Phillip asked hoarsely, glad the playful intent still carried in the words.

“Well, I am good at it,” she laughed. 

He nodded and smiled and scratched under Samson’s chin, watching black wisps drift off the dog’s rapidly wagging tail. 

They lapsed into silence a moment before Rory started humming. Phillip cocked his head a few bars in, vaguely recognizing the tune.

“That’s a song,” he mumbled, more to Samson than Rory, but she still paused.

“Uh-huh.”

Way to state the obvious, his thoughts jibed. “No, I mean, I know it, but don’t remember from where...” His hand stilled on Samson’s neck a moment later. “Cammore. When...” I was screaming myself hoarse. “You sang it while you were sitting with me.”

Rory’s brows arched and she leaned forward to brace her forearms against her knees. “Wow, yeah. You heard that?”

“Not... really?” Phillip said slowly. “It’s more an... impression than a memory, if that makes sense? Like, I don’t remember the words or anything but the melody’s familiar?”

She nodded and grinned. “Oh, good, I don’t have to worry about my singing voice scaring you off.”

“That wouldn’t be a risk anyway,” he mumbled, not realizing it had been out loud until her grin widened.

“Charmer,” she winked. “But yeah, you’d been screaming and I'd been babbling and sorta... ran out of things to say for a minute, and it seemed like a good idea?”

“What song was it?” Phillip resumed petting Samson at an irritated wuff(which came from behind him rather than by his knee).

“Welsh lullaby,” Rory said. She ran a hand through her hair again. “I dunno, a lullaby seemed fitting, somehow.”

“Well, if I heard it enough for it to make an impression, seems like it helped.”

“Good point.”

He hesitated a moment before asking, “Could you teach me?”

“What, the lullaby?”

“Yes, and, um, Welsh in general, too?”

She shrugged. “Dunno how good a teacher I’ll be, but we can give it a shot.” A teasing grin split her face, crinkling scars and freckles alike. “Do you actually wanna learn, or is this a way of spending time with me? ‘Cause you don’t need an excuse for that.”

“...Both?” God, he’d love to blame the way the word squeaked on his half-gone voice, but from the heat climbing his neck, that was no more than partly to blame.

Rory bit her lip, graciously holding back whatever remark had sprung to mind, and tugged one of her curls. “Your honesty is appreciated. So, you like languages? Not many people out there with a burning desire to learning Welsh for the heck of it. "

Phillip nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah. Aside from English I only speak Russian and maybe a smattering of Spanish and Latin, but I’ve been wanting to learn another for a while.”

“Russian?” She arched a brow.

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a long story.”

“Ah. Well, it looks like it’s one you’ll have to tell me back in your town.” Rory craned her neck to look toward where the others were all congregating in the direction of the cars and her motorcycle. “Seems the break’s over.” She squeezed his knee as she pushed to her feet and hopped down. “C’mon, Prince Charming, time to hit the road.”

Right. The road back to Nivio. To figure out what the hell was going on.

She’d done a very good job distracting him from that. It was blessing enough he wouldn’t question the nickname. (yet.) But reality could only be ignored or avoided for so long, and in this case especially there could be serious consequences for pushing it too far.

So Phillip climbed down from the table with a sigh and whistled for Samson to follow as he headed back to his car. It was his turn to drive, and he didn’t want to waste any time.

There was one last pretzel nugget in the bag when he went to crumple it, and he pulled it out to eat before throwing the bag away. No point wasting and besides--he waved at Rory as her bike purred to life--every little bit helped.

(He didn’t just mean the snacks.)

[johnkrrasinski]

Lifeline; 

full masterlist

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x female!reader

Word count: 2,379

Warning: vague portrayal of sexual assault, trauma, weapons. 

Summary: in your worst times, natasha romanoff saw the best in you. 

a/n: wrote this one for my friend who has truly helped me during this difficult times. thank you lily, your generosity means the world. i’d also like to dedicate this to my fellow natasha stans because i miss her terribly and she deserves more love and appreciation in the fanfic writing community. to those who could relate to what the reader in this fic is going through, i’m truly sorry. your story matters and i know that you have this resilient strength in you that i admire deeply. please don’t hesitate in sharing your story with me if you need someone to talk to. i hope you like the story. enjoy

You were sobbing on your bedroom floor as you tried to calm yourself down by thinking of her, but it was a failure considering the misfortune that had just struck you. It was currently 2 AM in the middle of the night, and you were still wearing your work clothes that were soaked from the rain and slightly rumpled. You wish it was easy to just act as if it didn’t happen to you, clean yourself off the dirt and go to bed. But no, it had sunk deeper into you than a cut on the flesh.

Your phone had rung for God knows how many times now in your purse, but all you did was disregard it. You were not in the right state to talk to her and tell her another mundane day at your job. Because today was anything but mundane.

The rain outside your window had gone heavier as if it was reflecting the raging emotions inside you and mourned it all away with you. You always loved the rain, but it was the last thing you could feel in your heart at the moment. The tears just kept streaming and your mind just keeps playing back the mishap that makes you wish you could just wipe your entire memory and start with a blank page.

That was until the sound of fumbling keys on the other side of your door jolted you but you remained frozen in place. You didn’t have it in you to invigorate yourself to get up and greet her.

“Y/N? Are you home yet?” The noises from the rumblings muffled your sobs as she tried to listen to any signs of you being home. She then walked to your room and opened the door as she found you being a crumpled mess on the floor. She instantly ran up and crouched down to your level.

“Y/N, what happened?” She spoke in a consternated state. The worry on her face was palpable.

You didn’t answer her. You couldn’t form the words even if you wanted to.

“Baby, look at me. What happened? Are you hurt?” Her voice was soothing despite her dismayed state.

It took you a few seconds to stare into her eyes and instead of explaining what went down, you only threw yourself to her embrace and curled up to her. She caressed your hair and she kissed it to soothe you. “Shh, I got you. I got you.”

An hour later, after she gave you a warm bath, you and Natasha lied on your bed with your head on her chest as she ran her fingers through your hair because she knew it always comforted you. There wasn’t a single word exchanged between the two of you but after all the things that she went through, Natasha put two and two together and decided not to push you any further for explanations.

The truth is, not a lot of people get to see this tender side of Natasha. She was known by her teammates and the world as the deadliest assassin from Russia. She was full of mystery and blood on her ledger but once you capture her heart, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you.

That includes breaking down her walls and killing whoever makes you cry.

“Do you want soup? Or hot chocolate? I can make you one.”

You only shook your head to tell her no.

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

And you nodded. Your lids grew heavier as you slowly drifted away to unconsciousness.

The next morning, you woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of yesterday’s nightmare. It was Saturday morning so luckily, you didn’t have to get up early and go to work.

You don’t think you could ever go back anyway.

Natasha sprinted toward your bedroom to check up on you as you were sobbing again with your knees curled up to your chest. “Y/N? Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, darling.”

It took you a while to gain composure as you held on to her to ground yourself. You finally found the strength to tell her what happened despite struggling with your words but you knew that she deserved to know and she was the only person you trusted with your life. You needed to set yourself free and if the person you trusted and loved the most in your life didn't know what happened to you, then how would you expect her to help you?

She was absolutely infuriated when you told her what happened, and she promised that she will find the man and she will take care of it herself. But for now, you only wanted her to stay with you and protect you from the grim world you were currently stuck in. And she was willing to comply with your wishes. Despite being an Avenger and carrying the responsibility of saving the world, there was nothing more important to her than putting you first and making you feel safe. And she was willing to fight anything or anyone that stood in her way.

You had never felt luckier to have her by your side.

The next day, she woke you up early and took you to the Avengers’ compound. You always wanted to visit her at the compound but since it was built solely for The Avengers and you knew that there were a lot of classified matters in the building, you didn’t wanna intrude. So you and Natasha made a deal that she was going to come to your apartment as often as she could to see you. It only took her a 20 minutes drive to get to your place anyway and she always preferred being in the cosiness of your home instead of the bustling superhero activity of the compound.

As wounded as you still were, you were willing to go with her and leave your bedroom. You had been dwelling in your bedroom for the past couple of days and you thought maybe it would be a good idea to get some fresh air and see the team.

When you arrived, she took you by the hand and led you inside. It was Sunday after all, so the Avengers themselves aren’t as occupied as they are on the weekdays. Some of them are doing their own thing outside of the compound and some of them chose to sleep in.

She led you to the training room and she landed you her workout clothes.

“What are these for?” You were clueless. You thought she wanted you to meet the team or just hang out in her room but instead… She is asking you to work out? What the hell?

“Put these on, I’m gonna teach you some self-defence moves, so you won’t ever have to feel afraid of men  like your boss anymore.”

“Natasha, you know I can’t- I don’t any fighting techniques at all.” You spoke sheepishly. Maybe that’s why you and her were a match made in heaven; you balanced each other’s flaws and strengths and you helped each other grow out of your past traumas and unhealed scars.

“That’s why I’m gonna teach you, sweetheart.” She then kissed you on the lips and her lipstick tasted sweet. “Go ahead and wear these, yeah? I’ll wait for you here.”

You nodded and then went to the shower room to strip yourself out of your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, and changed into her workout clothes that strangely fit you. You walked back to where she was waiting and she smiled at the sight of you. She always loved seeing you in her clothes.

“I know you’re worn out but I promise you, we can take this slow, okay? We don’t even have to do the heavy moves, I’m just going to teach you the basics for now.”

“Okay.” You trusted her and you knew that she only wanted nothing but the best for you.

“Alright so, the easiest one is groin kick. If someone comes at you from the front, stabilize yourself, and then you lift your dominant leg off the ground and drive your knee upward.” She showed it to you with her own body and you heeded her thoroughly. “Extend your leg, drive your hips forward, and lean back slightly and kick them in the groin as forceful as you can.”

She practised the moves with her body for you to emulate her. She asked you to show her your best movie and it took you several times to get it right. Once you do, she proceeded to teach you the second move.

“The next one is, heel palm strike. If you get it right, you can cause damage to the nose or the throat. Now to implement, you gotta get in front of the attacker as much as possible. And then, flex the wrist of your dominant hand.” She performed it. “You aim for either his nose by jabbing upward from the nostrils, or you go for the chin, by jabbing upward from the throat.” You nodded to assure her that you were listening.

“Make sure that you backtrack your strike. If you pull back your arm quickly it will help you assail his head up and back. It will allow you to escape their grasp.” Then she instructed you to try to perform it with her.

Once she felt appeased with your performance, she moved on to the third one. “And now, elbow strike. Lift your eyebrow to shoulder height. And then, pivot on the same side foot and rotate your hips. It will create more momentum into the front part of your elbow when you strike.” She let you take her time to get it right.

She taught you a few more moves that you didn’t have the slightest bit idea of before today. You knew it like a common knowledge that she was masterful when it comes to martial arts and hand to hand combat and you trusted her not to test you more than your capability but, all of this was new and strange to you. Never once had you ever felt like you constantly had to look over your shoulder. Not when you had the Black Widow herself as your girlfriend but, rest in peace to your naive bravado.

Natasha then took you to the shooting range of the compound and taught you how to use a gun. She explained all the parts of the weapon and each one of its purpose. Once you got a hold of the basics, she stood behind you and wrapped you in her arms and she extended her arms to direct you to the right posture and stance.

“Remember, y/n, don’t hesitate. Don’t overthink it, just, point it right onto his chest and pull the trigger.”

“I don’t know if it could be that easy.”

“Yes it is, I believe in you, y/n. Now, imagine that it’s your pighead of a boss and he’s wasted. He doesn’t hesitate in approaching you and laying a hand on you. It’s either his life or yours, y/n.” Her hushed tone was like a voice of reason in the back of your head, languidly fading into the background as it melded with your conscience and it ignited the spark in you to shoot.

The target poster sketching up the indentation of a man, as it meddled with the nefarious clip of his hammered face walking towards you, with that revolting sneer as he attempted to overpower you with his larger figure until there was no other choice for you than aiming it to his chest and blaze him away.

It’s either his life or yours, y/n.

And… the bullet flew directly to the centre of the target. The part that would instantly paralyze a man. And you felt like the breath you had been holding back was finally relieved. You didn’t think that you’d prevail your first shot, but you did. And you were taking pride in that. “Good shot, baby. I knew you’d got it.”

She then tried to take the gun out of your grasp as your eyes were still fixated on the gunned down target. “It’s okay, you can let go now.” Your fingers gradually unclasp it and she put it out of your sight. The tension on your shoulders was discernible and she tried to dilute it by putting her hands on them.

“C’mon, let’s take a shower.”

The hollowness that filled your chest for the past couple of days was still intact, but after everything you learned today, you felt a tad more empowered than before. Like you were finally putting on your combat gear and carried your weapons in your bag to attack anyone who is out to get you.

But of course, it wouldn’t be possible without Natasha’s formidable love and support embosoming you. You heard the stories; from your colleagues, your college friends, your cousins and even stranger from the internet. But now, you didn’t only empathize with those women, but you understood their irreversible ache with every fibre of your being. You knew that you weren’t alone in this world, but it doesn’t mean that you will recover completely overnight.

It will take some time, maybe months or even years. Or maybe it would take a lifetime, but you knew that as long as you had Natasha by your side, with her emerald green eyes pacifying the raging hurricane inside you, you will find a way to live with it and learn to find your power with every step that you take.

You had been there for her through her darkest nights and now she was going to be that caregiver for you. She was going to return all the love and faith you unfalteringly put in her. She wasn’t going to leave you on your own even when you felt the most broken because out of all the things she had ever felt in this world, pain was an old friend to her. And she was going to face it with you instead of running away.

[floralguccistyles]

Hello all! While I am very happy to share this chapter with you, I am also aware that a lot of my social media feeds and timelines have stopped highlighting the BLM movement, which is so much more important. This fight is not over. It will not be over until there is justice for every single black mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend that has been killed by police brutality and violence. Please don’t allow the people we follow to sweep this under the rug. If you do not have the means to protest, there are several other ways you can donate and raise awareness to this issue. Here is a Twitter thread of donations that still haven’t reached their goals. Here is a compiled list of petitions you can sign, numbers you can text, and causes you can donate to. Here is a Twitter thread of Youtube videos you can watch that gain ad revenue and donate all money made to the BLM movement. Please do what you can, especially my fellow non-POC users, to help with this issue. It is so, so incredibly important.

wildflower :: chapter two

...and stays up with you all night

There was a tradition between the Horan-Fairbrough clan that once a month, we would all try and get together and have dinner. It usually ended up with Greg’s son Theo falling asleep while I held him and Violet spewing on about something she learned in college before we all settled down to watch a movie. We had an ongoing rotation on who picked the movie, and this month it happened to be Niall’s turn.

Which was why I was so shocked that it was a horror film.

I didn’t like scary movies. And neither did Niall. But when he sat between Lily and I (on the floor since our parents took the couch while Greg and Theo took the loveseat), I realized his intention. Lily hated horror films even more than I did. And when the first jump scare came around, Lily hid her face in Niall’s side and squealed a little.

Smart boy, that Niall.

“You’re an asshole for picking this film,” I told Niall as I held the popcorn bowl between us. Niall and I hadn’t spoken since last Monday, when he’d dropped off his stuff at my house. Everything had been in a nice neat pile except for my necklace. When I had inquired about it, he had told me that he hadn’t seen it, but he would look again. I think the look of panic on my face told him how serious I was about that particular piece of jewelry.

“Why would I give up a chance to hold both my Fairbrough girls while they scream bloody murder?”

He wasn’t wrong. I found myself jumping right alongside with Lily whenever something frightening happened, so Niall just grinned at me, called me a baby, and then offered his hand for me to hold. 

I gripped it like it was my lifeline. 

The day had started off normally, waking up in Lily’s bed to her arm strewn across my neck, quite close to choking me. Though I may have snored in my sleep (according to she and Niall, I was still doubtful), Lily tried to kill me in hers. Her alarm went off approximately three minutes after I untangled myself from her comforter and I went to work on making us coffee and breakfast while she took a shower. I was expecting Niall to show up at around seven-thirty, since that was normally the time Lily was done taking a shower and I was expected to keep him entertained. When the door opened and I saw him in a salmon-colored dress shirt, I smiled.

“Morning,” I said, blinking against the bright smile he gave me. “Want a cup?”

“God, you’d be an angel.”

“I’m always an angel, what are you talking about?” I stuck my tongue out at him, but started to work on his coffee. The eggs were frying in the pan, so I quickly added some garlic salt to them (because I knew Niall liked it) before I poured his drink into a to-go cup. I watched him sit at the barstool, tossing his sunglasses on the counter as he watched me make breakfast. “So, it’s your pick for movie night tonight. Any contenders?”

He shrugged. “Hadn’t thought about it much, to be honest. I’ve been dealing with some stuff at work.”

Rummaging through some drawers, I found a Sharpie and uncapped it. “What’s up?”

He sighed. I didn’t like this look on Niall, the defeated kind of look that made him look at least three years older. He looked like he was carrying the weight of something heavy on his shoulders. “Hey,” I said quietly, reaching across the counter to grab his forearm in what I hoped was a comfort. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

His other hand reached to grab my fingers, moving my touch on his arm to hold my hand. His fingers interlaced through mine, examining them for a moment. “One of my boys...a girl came forward and made a sexual assault claim yesterday.”

I tried not to freeze. I wasn’t sure if he noticed when my hand suddenly went limp, but his eyes were still locked onto our hands as if he were contemplating much more than just how large his were compared to mine. “Oh. Shit, I’m sorry, Ni. What...what’s happening?”

His nose wrinkled. “They’re getting him off the team, that’s what. I’m not going to have someone like that representing our team. He’ll go to the dean next week to talk about expulsion.”

“And the girl?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know, Rose. She’ll have to...Christ, she’ll carry this around for the rest of her life. I’ve assured her that his place on the team is nonexistent, but she didn’t look like she believed me.”

“So you didn’t think...she was pathetic or anything?”

“Pathetic? Jesus, Rose, no. I just feel like shit that she was even put in that position at all.”

I squeezed his hand tightly. He didn’t know why my fingers turned from a caress to a grip, but he squeezed my fingers back even so. 

The truth was, his words meant more to me than he’d ever know. But it also made me sad. For the girl, for me, and for anyone else who ever had to deal with something like that. I knew I didn’t deserve to place myself on the same caliber as the girl Niall was talking about. She’d been assaulted, and all Kent ever did was corner me in his office to exchange a promotion for sex. Still, knowing how Niall felt about it made things a little easier. There was no question on whether the player would still be on the team. He would just be...gone. No questions asked.

“You’re a good guy, Niall,” I whispered softly.

“It’s not a matter of being a good guy or not. It’s a matter of being a decent human being.”

Lily appeared in the kitchen before either of us could continue with our conversation, which was probably for the best. “Morning. Smells good, Rose,” Lily commented, coming over to stand by Niall. She wrapped her arms around the back of his shoulders and gave him a squeeze, kissing his cheek. “You smell good,” she mentioned to him.

He didn’t blush, which was weird because Niall always blushed when someone complimented him. He just grinned and let out a little chuckle. “Thanks, Lil. You’re dripping all over me.”

Lily usually let her hair air dry while she ate breakfast and then ran the dryer over it. It locked in enough of her curls to make it stylishly wavy, but not dry it enough so that they straightened out. She had it down to a science. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly, pulling away and lovingly wiping off a bit of water droplets from Niall’s shirt. The salmon color darkened to a burnt coral with the water, but it would be dry in a matter of minutes, so Niall didn’t look like he minded terribly. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Eggs, coffee, and I was going to cut up some of that fruit,” I announced, grabbing said fruit from the fridge. Lily usually kept her fridge pretty stocked with fruit, so she had several berries and a couple of assorted melon slices. 

“Where’s the bacon?” Niall groaned.

“We have some microwaveable bacon, but I doubt you want that.”

He wrinkled his nose. If there was one thing Niall hated, it was the shitty pre-cooked bacon Lily bought. I didn’t mind the taste of it, personally, and appreciated its convenience. Niall was a firm believer that bacon should take time and love. “I’m fine with eggs and fruit.”

“That’s what I thought.” Cutting the fruit and not cutting my finger proved to be a task, but I accomplished it and put all the berries and melons on a plate. The eggs, which had been taken off heat during my fruit-cutting, were still warm, so I put them onto individual plates and handed them off to Lily and Niall. “Bon appetit.”

“A meal fit for a king,” Niall exclaimed. He was always too generous when describing my cooking. I wasn’t terrible and my food was almost always edible, but I wasn’t going to become a chef anytime soon. “Thanks, Rosebud.”

The morning continued on as usual, with Lily leaving Niall and I to keep each other company while she went about her morning routine. There was no more discussion on the girl that had come forward about Niall’s student athlete, but I could tell by the duller color of his eyes that it was still weighing heavy on his mind. Which was why when he was looking away and getting things situated for his day at work, I took the Sharpie and scribbled out “you’re a great role model for the students” with about a thousand x’s and o’s underneath it. He grinned and pressed a kiss to my hair when he saw it, and claimed “he’d keep the cup until the end of time, Rosebud.”

But Niall couldn’t hide his disappointment and sorrow. Which, in retrospect, might have been the reason that he had chosen a horror movie. It was probably a last minute decision.

I wasn’t sure what the title of the movie was, but it was some gory and bloody thing with demonic possession. Our families had varying reactions to the film. Greg was falling in and out of sleep, while his parents on the other side of him were cringing at the film. My parents, who had grown up with horror films, seemed to be genuinely enjoying it, letting out little ohs and ahs when something interesting happened. Violet just stared at the screen with the indifference of a Gen Z child, typing away at her phone whenever the plot got too boring for her to handle.

It was only about forty minutes into the movie when Violet nudged my foot with hers and gestured towards the kitchen with her chin. Things had been back to normal between the two of us, the vulnerable night of sleeping by her side long forgotten. I was honestly thankful for the usual attitude. If she started treating me like some frail thing, I might have burst into tears. I had always prided myself on being a strong person, and I was obsessed with Violet and Lily seeing me in the same light. So when we had woken up the next morning, Violet with drool down her chin and my hair in a wild disarray, I wished she would say something normal.

I believe her exact words had been “Jesus, you have bad morning breath,” before she had promptly rolled over to face away from me.

Still, I followed her to the kitchen, Niall’s eyes on me questioningly when Violet and I walked away from the family. I shrugged my shoulders, unaware as to what Violet wanted as much as he was. Unlike Lily and Niall’s apartments, my childhood home had a kitchen separated by a thick wall, so maybe Violet wanted some advice on Selma and Eric and needed privacy. 

When we arrived to the kitchen, however, I did not expect the turn our conversation took.

Without saying anything, she walked to her purse and pulled out a slip of paper, handing it to me. 

“Am I supposed to know what this is?”

“It’s the health specialist at my university. She has a practice outside of the school, so I asked for her office number.”

I stared at it, a little more than confused. “Alright. Cool. What am I supposed to do with it?”

“She’s a psychologist.”

The paper suddenly felt like a weight in my hand. I gaped at her, mouth open like a fish as she stared at me, almost daring me to give it back to her. Which I tried to do almost instantaneously. “I don’t need this, Violet. Save it for someone who actually does.”

“Seeing a therapist isn’t a bad thing, Rose. She can help with the whole Kent thing. She’s been helping me a lot and I really like her, so I think you will too.”

“I’m sure she’s a wonderful lady, but I don’t need to see her.” I crossed my arm over my chest, only after setting the unwanted phone number on the countertop. “This was a little invasive of you.”

“It wasn’t invasive. It’s me trying to help. You’ve got some shit you need to deal with, as do I, and she can help. I mean, she’s no miracle worker, but it would be nice to talk to someone about what happened.”

My mouth went dry. “Violet, nothing happened. People have had it much worse than I have.” I thought about this morning, about Niall’s defeated face when he told me about the girl at the college. “He didn’t...he didn’t assault me or anything. He just made some lewd comments. It isn’t enough to see someone over, trust me.”

“Rose, you’re nearly twenty-five and you have to sleep with someone else in the room.”

I knew deep down that Violet was coming from a place of love, just like all her other jabs and pokes did. But this felt too personal for me to brush off. I had opened up to her that night at Lily’s, and she was throwing it back in my face. “You didn’t have to come into my room that night,” I said defensively, and I wondered if she could tell my voice was ten times icier than it had been before.

“I’m not trying to attack you or anything—”

“That’s what it feels like.”

Lily must have sensed that Violet and I in a kitchen alone would stir some trouble. She came in only seconds later, raising an eyebrow at the two of us. “Having a party in here without me?”

“I gave Rose the therapist’s number and she’s refusing to take it,” Violet commented. 

“Keep your voice down,” I hissed.

“You gave it to her in the middle of the Horan-Fairbrough family night?” Lily asked incredulously. I was happy that she seemed to be as confused as I was, but then her words actually caught up to me.

“You knew?” I asked, turning to face my big sister. “Did you tell her what a bad idea it was?” Lily looked at me, her lips pressed together in a thin line. When she didn’t speak for a few moments, I knew. Maybe it was stupid to feel the stab of betrayal, but I did. “You told her to do it.”

“She was mentioning how much her therapist has helped her with college and I thought it might be beneficial to you. I didn’t know she was going to give it to you during family night.”

Lily never went behind my back. About anything. She and I were always open books with one another. So hearing that she had gone out of her way to ask Violet do this made me feel like shit. “I thought you were fine with me staying at your place?” I couldn’t keep the childlike whine out of my voice. I had never thought that Lily disliked having me in her apartment, but maybe she did. Maybe she had asked Violet about this because she wanted to get rid of me.

“Of course I am, Rose! That’s not the point of this,” Lily was quick to assure me. “I just think talking about it might help.”

I felt like someone had just pulled the rug out from under me. They were asking me to see someone, like I was a giant burden. I would have expected this from Violet, who was always blunt and truthful, but I would have never expected it from Lily. Lily would have sat me down, brought it up, asked my opinions, and then let it go when it seemed like it was something I didn’t want. “Right. Well, I don’t think it will, so let’s drop it and go watch the rest of the movie.”

“Okay,” Lily said, reaching out to rub my shoulder comfortingly. “Yeah, we’ll go back out.”

“No,” Violet mentioned, her posture hard and defiant. “I’m not letting you walk back out there until you take the phone number. Lily may baby you about this, but I’m not going to.”

“Violet,” Lily chastised.

“You let her get away with so much shit, Lil. And then the one time we dare request she do something to help herself, you act like her word is final. You’ve got some serious shit going on, Rose. You need to let it out before it eats you alive.”

“Right now, all I need is to exit this conversation. A conversation, might I remind you, that our parents and Niall don’t know about,” I snapped angrily.

“What don’t I know about?”

Perfect. When I turned, Niall was standing in the kitchen, hip leaning against the counter with the empty bowl of popcorn in his hands. His hair was tousled, most likely from Theo running his fingers through it playfully earlier on in the dinner portion of the night, and he was wearing a flannel that looked soft to the touch. He also looked adorably confused at our conversation.

“Nothing, Ni,” Lily commented, sending a quiet look towards Violet to remind her to keep her mouth shut. Violet huffed impatiently, but luckily shut her mouth. “Need me to get more popcorn?”

“Yeah, Greg’s fat arse ate most of it.” Lily took the bowl from him and got another bag from the pantry, placing it in the microwave. “What are my favorite girls discussing?”

“Rose’s job,” Lily deflected, sending a blinding smile towards Niall, as if that was going to stop him from asking questions. “The hotel’s offering her a couple of free rooms and she was going to use them for our parents’ anniversary. She wanted it to be a surprise, so you can’t tell them, got it?”

“That’s sweet of you, Rosebud. I won’t tell them, promise.” 

“Thanks, Ni,” I breathed out. Violet rolled her eyes.

I knew this conversation was far from over. Violet was glaring at me and Lily was looking at me like she was apologetically about to burst into tears, but all I wanted to do was curl back up on the floor and finish the stupid movie. I knew there would be no more getting scared tonight, due to the fact that I wouldn’t be paying attention to the rest of the film, so I was safe from any nightmares I might have had about a possessed demon child. But the tension hung from the three of us like albatrosses, and it continued as we slowly made our way back to the living room.

“Need me to hold your hand again, Rosebud?” Niall joked. I mustered up a small smile, putting the popcorn bowl between us again. I ignored my sister as they sat back down, Lily for once not cuddling up to Niall’s side. He stared back and forth between the two of us. “Something wrong?” he whispered towards me.

“Nope.”

“That wasn’t very convincing.”

“Drop it, Niall.”

He seemed taken aback by my shortness. His jaw ticked, a sure sign that I knew he was either embarrassed or annoyed, and nodded at me, leaning back against the couch. He didn’t look in my direction for the rest of the film, and while I felt shitty about being so snappish, I couldn’t bring myself to stop. My sisters had somehow ruined my night in one fell swoop.

There was a reason I didn’t talk about what happened at Barkley’s. On top of me being completely done with the situation emotionally, I was also incredibly embarrassed. How had I not noticed that Kent seemed to favor me simply because he thought I was cute? All of the times he had complimented my work ethic, made me feel like I was one of the best employees, and the consecutive months of being employee of the month (which wasn’t a feat because there were only three of us and the other three hardly made their goal sales), he had just been doing it because he wanted to have sex with me.

It made me feel useless.

And if there was one thing I hated most in the world, it was feeling useless.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to Niall, trying to keep my voice soft so my parents wouldn’t overhear. “You caught me in a bad mood, and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“No,” he agreed, “you shouldn’t.” But he held up his palm, an invitation. I relaxed immediately, threading my fingers through his and cuddling up against his side. 

He didn’t let go the entirety of family night, his little reassurance that we were okay.

~

I was willing myself not to leave my bed. 

Like usual, I had woken up about three hours after falling asleep. The apartment was quiet and a little chilly, so cuddling up next to Lily’s side would have solved all my problems. But my head continued to revolve around the conversation with Violet and Lily, and now I felt like I was just going to be a burden if I went into her room and bothered her.

The ride back to the apartment from the Horan-Fairbrough family night had been quiet. Lily had kept the volume low so I could talk to her if I wanted to, but there hadn’t been anything to say. Knowing Lily as well as I did, I knew she was feeling guilty. But I couldn’t bring myself to talk about the night’s events with her.

Now, sitting alone in my bed, I wished I would have. 

I shifted my weight, moving so I was laying on my side and facing the door to my room. In the year that I’d been here, I’d made it my own. I had pictures and plants on my shelves, I had brought in a bookcase, and there was art hung on my walls with command strips so I wouldn’t have to put a nail through the wall. This room was my safe space, like nothing bad from the outside world could ever get me when I was in here.

Violet’s words rang in my head.

My hands were on my phone before I could really process what was happening. I scrolled through the Facetime app until I came across Niall’s information, clicking on the silly little photo I’d set as his contact photo. On bated breath, I waited for Niall to answer the phone call. I should have known better than to feel nervous. Niall was the type of guy to always answer, no matter what time of night it was.

Which was why I was staring into a grainy version of his bright blue eyes only seconds later.

“Rosebud,” he grumbled, groggy from sleep. His hair was mussed, his eyes half closed, and he was shirtless. I couldn’t see much because the blanket covered most of his chest, but I still grew a little warm. “What time is it?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head, feeling incredibly foolish. “I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

There was something in the tone of my voice that had him sitting up, eyes opening a little wider. A cute yawn escaped his mouth, but he looked more awake than he had when he had initially picked up the phone. “Don’t be stupid,” he said softly, “what’s up?”

“Has...has Lily ever talked to you about not being happy I’m at her place?”

Niall’s eyebrows furrowed. “No. She loves having you there.”

“You don’t think I’m a...a burden?”

“Rosebud,” he said, and his voice was so soft and sweet that it made me want to cry. “You could never be a burden. Where is all of this coming from?”

The tears came faster than I thought they would. I hated crying in front of people. I could probably count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times I’d done it and all of them had been in front of Lily. Lily, who I knew wouldn’t judge me for it. Niall wouldn’t judge me either, of that I was sure, but I still felt like a stupid little kid when the first tear spilled over.

“God, Rose, please don’t cry. I can’t handle it when you cry.” At the look on my face, he let out a small laugh. “Not because you’re a burden, Rose. Just because seeing you cry honestly breaks my heart.”

“I’m sorry,” I managed to stutter out.

“Don’t be sorry, Rose. Just dry those big brown eyes and talk to me. What’s going on?” I couldn’t answer for a few moments, still trying to stifle my cries so I wouldn’t wake Lily up. I saw Niall start to move on his bed, before I heard his voice. “I’m coming over there.”

“No,” I said immediately, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t call to bother you.”

“When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that you aren’t a burden to me?” he asked, rolling his eyes. “I won’t come if you don’t want me to. But I’ve got to know what’s going on, Rosebud. You’re worrying me a little.”

Once I calmed my tears a little, I sniffled so I wouldn’t look like a complete fool with snot dripping down my nose. “In the kitchen earlier, Violet made a subtle dig that Lily might not like having me here. Like I’m a burden to have. I just...I know you know her better than anyone, and maybe she felt like she couldn’t share her real feelings with me. So I wanted to ask you and see if she’d said anything. You know Lily. she wouldn’t tell me to my face if that’s how she felt because she’s too nice.”

“She is too nice. But she wouldn’t lie to you about something like this, Rosebud. I know for a fact that she doesn’t hate having you there, though. You’ve got to know that.”

I nodded hopelessly, rolling my eyes at myself. “And I just feel so stupid because I can’t sleep unless I’m with someone. That’s why I asked you to stay at your apartment. The idea of sleeping alone terrifies me. But Violet has me paranoid that Lily doesn’t want me here, so I don’t want to wake her up and bother her.”

“Lily won’t mind,” Niall said softly. He was leaning back against his pillows. Sometime during my crying, he had turned on his lamp and basked in the soft yellow light. No one looked good in that awful yellow light, but somehow Niall managed. “But I could stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep, if you want,” he continued. 

“I don’t want you to pity me or think I’m pathetic, either.”

“Rose, I don’t think I’ve met anyone stronger. You take everything in stride and still have a smile on your face. It’s more likely that I’m going to be in complete awe of you.”

My breath caught in my throat, stuck in the center like I needed to swallow it down. His words filled me with the kind of reassurance and comfort I needed at this exact moment, and I sighed when the warmth of his words hit me. “You always know what to say, Niall.”

He laughed. “Not true. I feel like I’m a bumbling mess around you most of the time.”

Frowning, I shook my head. “You’re one of the most eloquent and well-spoken people I’ve ever met. I always value your opinions and advice.” I moved myself back against my pillows, laying on my side and propping my phone up on my nightstand so I didn’t have to hold it up while I conversed with Niall. “You’ll make someone a very happy girl someday.”

I saw the way his eyes softened, like he was lost in a memory. They were the color of the sky in the morning, right when the sun was rising and it was cast in a warm yellow glow. “I don’t know,” he said, raising a hand to the back of his neck. His cheeks, like they normally were when someone complimented him, were an endearing pink. “There’s...there’s really only one girl’s opinion I care about.”

I wanted to sit up straight and demand he tell me more, but I refrained. I knew that acting suddenly might spook him into not telling me. “I didn’t know you liked someone.”

“Like…” he trailed off, shaking his head and letting out a little laugh. It sounded like the word wasn’t sufficient enough for what he was feeling. “Yeah. Yeah, I like her.”

“Tell me about her,” I encouraged, my voice as soft as I could make it.

“You don’t want to hear about this, Rose.”

“I always want to hear about what’s going on in your life.”

He groaned, running his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have even said anything.”

“Don’t make me pull the Fairbrough puppy dog eyes.”

“Not the Fairbrough eyes,” he gasped dramatically, clutching his hand to his chest as the both of us let out small laughs. Then, he sobered up, his smile turning a little more soft and caring. “She’s great. Driven, strong, stubborn. She’s got this crazy loyalty to her family, like no other. And she’s probably the most gorgeous fucking girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”

He was describing Lily almost perfectly. I felt the smile growing on my face. As Lily’s sister who wanted the absolute best for her, I knew that Niall was it. He was kind, almost to a fault. He would never hurt her intentionally. The way he revered her...it was how I’d always wanted someone to look at me. “She sounds incredibly special.”

“She is.”

The question was burning on the tip of my tongue, begging to be asked. But these things took time. I didn’t want to scare him away from his feelings for Lily by discussing them, so I let the subject drop. “She’d better get ready to be a babysitter for Horan-Fairbrough family nights. I think Greg passed Theo onto me the second I walked through the door. How that man became a father, I’ll never know.”

He laughed, but there was something off about it, like he was disappointed in the subject change. “Must be because you’re so good with kids.”

“I’m shit with kids. Greg’s just fucking lazy.”

That seemed to bring the smile back to his face and he let out a chuckle that sounded like melted chocolate and sunshine and everything else good in the world. Lily would never be lacking in the husband department when she and Niall got married (because let’s be honest, it was an inevitability). He was the entire package, gifted in every area. He would be the kindest, the handsomest, the funniest. 

I didn’t expect the pang that went through me.

I’d always wanted what Niall and Lily had. The easy friendship and the fiery passion (I imagined there was fiery passion, I’d never personally seen it) and the desperate longing. I wanted someone to look at me the way they looked at each other and talk about me the way Niall talked about Lily now. It was how Patrick and Niamh looked at each other. It was how my mother and father looked at each other.

It felt so impossible, so far away for me, that it made my heart curl in my chest. 

“Tell me what’s going on in that head,” he whispered, and he must have thought I had fallen asleep by the look on my face. I blinked, giving him a soft smile.

“Just thinking.” I heard another voice, something grainy and staticy and narrowed my eyes. “Are you watching TV? I didn’t know my company bored you so much.”

Niall shrugged. “It’s Dawson’s Creek, Rosebud. You’d do the same thing.”

I laughed, snuggling up further against my pillows. “What episode?”

“The one where Joey and Pacey kiss for the first time.”

“Okay, but the car kiss or the fireside kiss?”

“The fireside, obviously.”

“That’s not technically their first kiss,” I pointed out.

“It’s the one that matters,” he countered. “Can you believe there are some idiots who would prefer Joey with Dawson?”

“The horror,” I agreed, rolling my eyes. “Say some of the lines for me so I know what’s going on.”

“I’m not going to talk over one of the best scenes in television history.” He took one glance at my pleading face and groaned. “I hate you, you know that?” 

“No you don’t. If it’s the fireside scene, I have this one memorized. You be Pacey and I’ll be Joey.”

He rolled his eyes, but turned back to the television. His voice came through just seconds after Pacey’s did. “The only reason that you don’t have the answers is because you’ve been too scared to ask yourself the right questions.” I recognized the line right away. 

“What are you talking about?” I replied, grinning when he gave me a look, as if asking do I really have to do this?

“Look!” he suddenly exclaimed, making me laugh and stifle it into my pillow so I didn’t wake up Lily. “I know how I feel. You know how I feel. That much is obvious by now. But during this whole process, we’ve managed to miss the point. Because the point is not how I feel, it’s how you feel. So how do you feel?”

“It’s so obvious she loves him back.”

“Oi! If I have to do the lines, you have to do the lines too.”

“Awful!” I copied his exaggeration and heard him chuckle. “That’s how I feel Niall—”

“We’re supposed to be Pacey and Joey!”

“I’m adding flair! That’s how I feel Niall, I feel awful.”

“So do I. When I was kissing you tonight, I don’t think I’ve ever felt better and worse in my entire life. I mean, the very idea that...who should be Dawson and Andy?”

“Patrick and Niamh.”

He raised a brow. “Hopefully Niamh and Patrick aren’t cheating on each other with the two of us.”

“Just finish it!”

“The very idea that Niamh or Patrick could find out about us is killing me. It is tearing me up on the inside to have these feelings for you, but I can’t get rid of them. I can’t keep on kissing you, Rose.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean just that. I can’t keep on kissing you. Alright, I’ve done it twice now! I can’t be the one who’s always initiating this. I can’t be the one who’s always giving you all the answers. Look at me, Rose.”

“Shit I forgot the next line.”

“What a shit Dawson’s Creek fan you are. I thought you knew all the lines.”

“Shut up,” I laughed, pausing the Facetime so I could look up the exact scene lines. “I can’t,” I said dramatically, finding the lines easily and returning to the Facetime so I could see Niall giving me a deadpan look. 

“Please,” he recited. I went to go find the script again but he protested. “You’re supposed to be looking at me! You’re not a very good Joey.”

“It’s your line anyway.”

“If you felt even one shred of what I feel for you...then we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation.”

There wasn’t another line for me to reply with, as Pacey and Joey had finally kissed, so I looked at Niall with a grin on my face. He was staring at me, something unreadable in his eyes. I knew that our game of reciting lines was over in the way that his eyes burned and his mouth turned downwards at the corners. I wished more than anything that he was here so I could reach out and embrace him, reassure him that there was no possible way that Lily didn’t love him back. He didn’t have to be heartbroken anymore.

“Unrequited love is a bitch,” I said in a whisper.

“I thought you said it was obvious that Joey loved him,” he replied.

“It is. I just meant...in general. It’s a bitch. But we should still tell the people we love that we love them. Life’s too short.”

He swallowed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It was silent between us. I didn’t ask Niall to recite any more lines and he didn’t ask me to join in. He just sat and watched his TV and I just sat and watched him. Eventually, my eyes slowly closed and I drifted off into sleep.

I heard him whisper a “goodnight, Rosebud,” before I completely fell.

~

I woke up, for the first time in the past year, alone in my bed. 

When my eyes opened, I blearily glanced at my clock. If waking up by myself hadn’t surprised me enough for one morning, then I would have been surprised at how late I had slept in. Most days I was up around the same time as Lily, since I could never go back to sleep if she started making lots of noise. Looking at my clock now, my eyes widened a little bit when I saw it was just four minutes past nine, which meant Lily and Niall had already been at work for an hour. 

I allowed myself only five minutes to stay cuddled in my blankets before I stood, rubbing my eyes and making my way to the kitchen. The coffee was still out, though it was probably cold. Since I usually didn’t eat much for breakfast, I just popped bread in the toaster and poured myself a cup, shoving it in the microwave to heat it up.

Since Lily and I hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk about what had happened, I regarded the little pink Post-It note with hesitance. I knew that she was apologizing. But I still felt a little sad. The betrayal and anger had left me last night, as I was falling asleep with Niall humming something in the background. I was still furious with Violet and probably would be for the foreseeable future, but it was hard to be mad at Lily when she meant so much to me.

Dinner on me tonight. We’ll hang out and talk. Stopping by the bundt cake place after work and getting white chocolate raspberry. Your fave!! Love you.

I set the note back on the counter and retrieved my cup of coffee. I didn’t have much to do today since it was one of my days off, but I felt too antsy to stay in the house. Deciding to get ready for the day and see where it took me, I headed back towards my room with my plate and coffee cup in my hand.

I wondered how Niall was doing. Today was the day that they were meeting with the dean to discuss the expulsion status of the sexual assaulter. Knowing him, he would be incredibly stressed and worried about the whole ordeal. 

Which was why I found myself standing in the donut shop thirty minutes later.

“Rose!” The owner, Matilda, said. She was a larger woman with pretty dark skin and incredibly white teeth. “Nice to see you. Day off?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“You here for Lily and Niall’s favorites?” 

“Just Niall today. I’ll get four of his favorites. He’s meeting with the dean at his job about a student and I thought he could use the pick me up.”

Matilda grinned at me. “You are too sweet. Niall’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one,” I responded. And it was true. I was so incredibly lucky to have Niall in my life.

She walked back towards the display cases, grabbing a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting donut, sprinkled with coconut shavings. Niall could devour three of them in a minute. As she loaded up the to-go box with the donuts, she added in a maple bar for me. “How long have y’all been together?”

It took me a moment to process her question. I blinked at her, giving her a confused smile. “Oh, Niall and I aren’t together. He’s in love with my sister, Lily.”

Matilda’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “No shit? I could have sworn he was all moon-eyed over you. When you used to come in here with him back when you in school, he would stare at you with the most adorable look on his face.”

I laughed. “Knowing him, he was looking longingly at the donut I was holding. He and Lily are soulmates. Our whole family has a bet on when they’re going to get together.”

She handed me the box, accepting the tenner I passed over the counter. “You know, my David just got married. Nice girl. They moved to New York, so they’re too far away, but I just found out she’s pregnant.”

“Grandma Matilda. It’s got a ring to it,” I joked. 

“I could have sworn he was going to end up with his childhood friend, Zoe. They did everything together when they were younger. They’re still super close. In fact, she and Clarissa, the new wife, hit it off. Zoe was the maid of honor.” I didn’t really realize the point of her story, but I didn’t care. I could listen to Matilda talk for ages. She was just someone you wanted to listen to. ���If I had made bets on Zoe and David, I would have lost.”

“I might lose because of the timing,” I countered, shuffling with the change she handed me, “but they’re definitely getting together.”

Matilda shooed me out of the shop with a wave of her hand and a threat that if I didn’t come visit her soon, she’d drag me out of the apartment by herself. I just grinned and got another Uber to take me to the college. 

Niall’s coworkers knew Lily like the back of their hands. They were always wondering who it was that Niall was taking out to lunch. However, they didn’t know me. Which was why when I walked into the athletics building of the college and asked to see Niall, the secretary looked at me a little strangely. 

“Sure,” she said hesitantly, like she didn’t think Niall knew anyone else besides Lily. “Just fill out this sign-in sheet and let me print you out a visitor sticker.” I filled out the sheet and handed it back to her. The second she saw my last name, she understood. “Oh. Fairbrough. You Lily’s sister?”

“Guilty.”

“He might still be in the meeting with the dean, but feel free to wait in his office. If he is still in the meeting, it won’t be long. Ten minutes tops.”

Offering my thanks, I made my way through the building. It was decorated with sports jerseys from the college, as well as professional jerseys. I realized I had never been in Niall’s office before, so when I walked in, I was a little surprised to see how open and spacious it was. Obviously I didn’t think he worked in a tiny little cramped space, but there were large windows on one wall and his desk only took up a quarter of the room, meaning he still had a good amount of space for filing cabinets and things of the like. I sat in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk, admiring the pictures and little knick knacks that littered his space. Just like in his room, the frame he had next to his computer had pictures of he and his family and my sisters and I. 

The door opened and slammed shut. Niall hadn’t noticed me yet, but he was pinching the bridge of his nose and looked like he had the headache of the century. I heard him let out a tiny curse before he opened his eyes and all anger melted away from his face, leaving only confusion.

“Rose?” he asked softly, like I was a figment of the imagination.

“Hi Niall!” I greeted cheerily, ignoring how wrong it felt when he didn’t call me Rosebud. “I brought donuts.”

He ignored the proffered white box, instead marching forward with purpose and wrapping his arms around me. A surprised grunt left my mouth, but he clutched me like I was a lifeline and I immediately wrapped my arms around his back. I let him cling to me, sensing it was something he needed. Honestly, I probably needed it too. It was nice to be held and know that Niall wanted to keep me safe from any harm.

“That bad?” I whispered into his shoulder.

“They had us talk to the girl afterwards. She had a meltdown. It was horrifying to watch.” His grip on my waist tightened.

“I figured it would be bad. I brought donuts,” I said again, weakly. 

“Don’t need donuts,” he stated, “just need you.”

“I’m here.”

I couldn’t begin to fathom the moments we stood there, just gripping onto one another. Occasionally, his hand would move from my waist to my hair, tangling there and drawing me even closer, like he couldn’t believe I was there. My forehead pressed into his shirt, a pretty lilac color. One of the many things I loved about Niall was that he wasn’t afraid to wear color. The purple soothed me a little bit, even though I hadn’t come into his work wanting to be soothed.

Eventually, he pulled away. His eyes were red and he looked on the verge of tears. “What’re you doing here?” he asked gruffly, his voice low from emotion.

I reached out and grabbed his hand, not wanting the contact between us to end. He laced our fingers together immediately. “I knew today would be tough. And you were so supportive and...there for me last night that I wanted to do the same for you.”

“You don’t have to pay me back for last night, Rose. I wanted to.”

“And I wanted to help today,” I argued, shoving the box of donuts at him once more. He smiled and took them. “Matilda has threatened to come hunt us down if we don’t come in more often.”

“I don’t need to be seeing Matilda on a daily basis unless she wants to roll me out of the building.” He sat at his desk, across from me, and dug into his donuts. I wondered if he had been too nervous to eat anything that morning, despite the fact that Lily made them breakfast. 

“I realized I’ve never been in your office,” I commented as he ate. “I love it. It’s bigger than I expected.”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty decent setup. I can give you a tour of the campus later, if you’d like.”

 I nodded enthusiastically. Though I’d known Niall nearly all my life, I’d never really been around the campus he worked at. I’d been once or twice for a class that they offered when spots at my own college were limited, but that was it. 

He reached into the  box and handed me my maple bar, along with a couple of napkins so I wouldn’t get his desk sticky. We ate in comfortable silence, him looking over some documents and me just enjoying being in his presence. Once I had taken my last bite and he had shuffled his papers around, he cleared his throat and gestured towards the door.

“C’mon, we’ve got a pretty decent coffee place and I know the pot was probably cold when you woke up. Microwaved coffee is shit.”

“It was fine.” I shrugged. I hadn’t minded it that morning, more focused on my plan to comfort Niall. 

“Bullshit,” he said, giving me a grin that for some reason did weird things to my heart. Holding out his hand, I laced our fingers together as he led us out of his office. The secretary’s eyes nearly popped out when she saw us together, leaning over to whisper something quickly to a coworker that was sitting at the front desk. It made me a little uncomfortable, but Niall pulled me along quickly so I didn’t have time to dwell.

The college was gorgeous. I could admit that. It was even prettier than the own college I attended. When Violet had been applying for colleges, this had been one of her main contenders because of how gorgeous it was. Ultimately, it didn’t have a veterinarian program like the college I attended. Therefore, she was at my alma mater. Still, as Niall pointed things out with the hand that wasn’t holding mine, I made sure to comment on how pretty the layout of it was.

“Hey, Mr. H!” I heard someone shout when we started walking towards the little coffee stand outside of one of the buildings. Niall blushed a little at being called “mister” in front of me; it was as endearing as every other time he blushed when he was complimented. The kid walking towards us waved his hand enthusiastically.

“What’s up, Jordan?” Niall asked, grasping Jordan’s hand and pulling him into that guy hug I’d seen him do many times before to his brother. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Styles’ class right now?”

Jordan was a muscular kid with shoulder-length brown hair and pretty dark brown eyes. “Nah, he cancelled today. My girlfriend and I were going to get some coffee and then see a movie. She’s technically got Payne in twenty minutes, but they’re just doing an optional extra credit quiz.” I saw his eyes wander over to me, wondering who the girl with Mr. H was.

“Jordan, this is my friend, Rose. Rose, this is Jordan. He’s probably one of the best baseball players this college has seen in a while.”

I didn’t know shit about baseball, but I smiled. “Nice to meet you, Jordan.” His hand engulfed mine comically when he shook it. “I’ll give you a tenner if you call him Mr. H again. He got so red.”

Jordan laughed. “We call him Mr. H until he tells our coaches to push us harder. Then we call him names behind his back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall said, waving off Jordan’s comments. “What are you and Poppy getting? I’ll buy.”

“Mr. H, you don’t have to!”

“It’s pointless arguing with him,” I told Jordan, shrugging. “I usually just relish in the free stuff.”

Jordan laughed. “In that case, just a vanilla latte and a caramel macchiato.”

Niall didn’t bother asking me for my order, since he knew how I took my coffee. He stepped forward to the cart to order, leaving Jordan and I a little ways back. “So, what’re you studying?” I asked Jordan.

“Kinesiology,” he responded. I was impressed. I could never get into the big sciences. “You?”

“Graduated a couple years back with a business major and marketing minor.”

“Cool. You’re lucky to be such good friends with Mr. H. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met. Told me he’d give me a letter of recommendation for my masters program in the fall.”

“Sounds like him,” I agreed. And it did. Niall wouldn’t hesitate to help his athletes. Plus, I imagined for Jordan’s sake that a letter of recommendation from the athletics director of the school was nothing to scoff at. 

Niall returned with our coffee, handing Jordan his two drinks. “We’ve got to take off, but come visit me sometime, yeah? Have fun with Poppy.”

“Thanks, Mr. H. I’ll see you later.”

Jordan walked off, leaving the two of us to enjoy our coffee as we made our way through the courtyard of the school. “You really make an impact in these students’ lives.”

He shrugged. “A lot of directors are removed from the teams. They let the coaches do all the work. I want to be involved in the careers of the athletes. Feel like I helped them in some way.”

I grinned, taking his hand and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He squeezed me into his side. “You help everyone in every way. It’s pretty much impossible to meet you and not be affected in the best of ways.”

That blush came again and I smiled at the sight of it. “You’ve got to stop complimenting me. It’ll all go to my head.”

He wasn’t expecting the shove, but after he finished being dramatic about how I could have killed him, he wrapped his arm around me again and I caught him smiling.

I realized I hadn’t thought of the situation with Kent, my lackluster job, or my sisters once.

[sandralagunzad]

MIAMI BEACH- A Place I Never Expect To Call My Second Home

It all started when I decided to have my work and training in USA. I have always wanted to work abroad; not just to earn money, but also to grow in different aspects. There’s no doubt that the USA is one of the leading countries worldwide, and I believe that I’ll get great opportunities once I step in this country.

I started my application last January of 2018. After a few months of processing necessary documents needed, I flew to the USA in June of the same year. I was so stoked of what were in store for me in that journey.

I flew straight to Atlanta, Georgia to visit my sister first. After travelling for roughly 26 hours from Manila, it was comforting to see my sister. I almost got teary eyed as I hugged her. I couldn’t blame myself, I travelled alone in a completely strange place, and will be in a new environment. She lived there for 2 years, and I honestly missed being with her. I stayed for a little over 4 days before starting my journey in Miami. I was hesitant to stop by Atlanta before reporting in the property that I’ll be having my training with. Good thing I listened to my family, my sister got me goodies that I needed to settle in my apartment. Hehe thanks, Ate!

Miami is a crazy city- one of the busiest cities in the states and top tourist destination. As soon as I knew the city I was going to, I started researching about it. I saw a lot of GREAT pictures, and I can say that those pictures did justice to the place. Yes, Miami is that beautiful.

I started my J1 journey as a restaurant hostess for the first 4 months. I met a lot of nice guests along the way. I even met the nephew of Mother Lily Montenegro! At first glance I knew that he’s a Filipino, and I wasn’t wrong. He’s so nice, and I’m glad he had a great stay at Royal Palm. Going back, we had a training plan to follow as cultural exchange visitors. For every 3 months, we had to rotate positions within the department.

The property’s executive committees were checking on us and making sure we were having a great experience in the hotel. Three months into my training at the restaurant, our HR Director approached me and asked if I would be interested in other positions such as HR coordinator or Reservations coordinator. “Yes!”, I replied, “If given an opportunity it would be a great experience for me.”. Our HR director consulted this to the rest of the executive committee, and they have decided to open the position of Catering and Sales Specialist / Banquets Captain to me, as it was still related to Food and Beverage. And without hesitation, I accepted the job opportunity.

October 10, 2018- I officially became the new Catering and Sales Specialist. This time I told myself that this will be a new experience. I knew that this will not be easy, and will require high level of professionalism and critical thinking. I was very shy and soft-spoken when I started working in the office. You’ll just hear me say ‘Yes’ whenever something was asked of me. I won’t deny, I was scared of voicing out what was in my head. I was scared of giving suggestions or observations because I was afraid to make mistakes. Well, who would want to fail? I promised myself to learn as much as I can, and give every one with utmost respect.

Let me give you an overview of what were my duties and tasks as a Catering and Sales Specialist:

Always attend the 9am meeting with all the department heads, and report if the hotel has any group meetings / events of the day, and the status of in-house groups.

ALWAYS check e-mails and voice messages.

If there are any meetings or events during the day, make sure they have everything they need and fix whatever problem they have- it may be an issue with their sleeping room, meeting room, billings, food selections, etc.

ALWAYS BE ON THE FLOOR.

ALWAYS be on top of everything. Think ahead of time all the possible challenges that the event/meeting will encounter.

Prepare reports such as Group Resumes, Banquet Event Orders, Banquets Forecasts and Banquet Checks, Final Billing and Closing Log.

Be in touch with clients in detailing their incoming meetings/events in the property i.e., food selections, schedule of their programme/meeting, total number of people attending, if they have any dietary restrictions, table set up, audio/visual needs, and even decoration.

December to March is the high season in Miami. Most people in America are trying to stay warm on winter season, and have their Holidays in the Sunshine State. Indeed, in these times, Miami is packed with different tourist around the world. The historical Ocean Drive has different city-wide events especially this season. This only means that businesses are very much alive. Hotels are fully booked, restaurants have at least 15 minutes waiting time, bars and nightclubs are packed, and the streets are never empty. I bet you cannot imagine how busy it can get during these times.

ART BASEL 2018

April to May 2019 were a little lighter. I was able to move freely as my mind was not that stressed out. During this time, I was able to go out more often, and see Miami as it is. Not like the first months, I was just focused on work and had a home-work-home routine. It took quite a long time for me to get out of my comfort zone, to be confident with what I do. Don’t get me wrong, ever since I started working in the office, I gave my all. I walked extra mile with anything that I did. I just wished I did it sooner, to believe in myself. Anyway, I really had a great experience in Royal Palm. I learned A LOT.

I admit, I got really excited to be transferred to another department and position. Little did I know, things will get pretty heavy. I got overwhelmed with how much work I had to do. Everything was new to me. I had a little experience with handling big groups and clients. To be honest, I felt like being thrown into the ocean without knowing how to swim. I’m so lucky that I was surrounded with a great team that helped me and taught me everything that I needed to know.

I had countless breakdowns, not to exaggerate but I had it almost every night. I also had panic attacks much often than it used to. One time I had a rough day at work, I started crying on my way home. I didn’t care if I was on a jam-packed bus, tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help it. As time goes by, I was able to cope up. One day I found myself handling all things by myself. However, things got pretty much hectic with work on the first quarter of the year 2019. I was usually off during weekends, but since January came, sometimes I only got Sunday off. That was fine. I mean, it’s included as overtime. Lol!

I remember being nominated as the Associate Star of the Month twice- for the months of February and May. I didn’t expect being nominated, as I was struggling with work during those times. But it was really comforting to know that some people appreciated my hard work when I thought no one saw it.

I got attached. Yes, deeply attached with Miami. I got to experience living away from home, being independent, paying my own bills, being responsible with the basic stuff. I had a freedom. My freedom. It felt good to decide whatever I wanted for myself, at least for a few months.

The beach was just a few steps away from my apartment. I love spending Sunday afternoons at the beach with a bottle of beer. Who would’ve thought that this lady would love the beach so much? Lol. The ocean witnessed every emotion I felt in the duration of my stay. When I was happy, I was at the beach. When I was sad, the moon and stars listened to my story. When I missed home, the wind caressed me. When I got broken, the cold breeze sympathised with me. And when I thought that I found love again, the ocean was the first to witness.

I wanted to stay, but I guess it’s not God’s plan for me. Who knows, maybe sooner or later I will be back again. I really hope so.

I had a lot of down times, not to add the homesickness I felt. But I thank my friends I made along the way. They helped me cope up, they cheered me up. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do if they were not beside me.

I am grateful to experience the Miami vibe!

’Til next time, Vice City!

[beckzorz]

Spring Break (one-shot)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Words: 5905 Prompt: “Try that again and you’ll wind up dead.” Summary: A collision in JFK International Airport leaves Bucky Barnes with the wrong phone. You can still take photos of your vacation on his, but the nuclear codes are a slightly bigger problem. Warnings: Swearing, lingerie photos A/N: Happy spring break (for me at least)! This was written for @ruckystarnes‘ 2K writing challenge—congrats and thanks so much for hosting!! I had a ton of fun :D Thank you also to my wonderful friend @kentuckybarnes for beta reading <3 Hope you enjoy!!

He raced through the terminal, heart pounding and blood rushing in his ears. The device in his hand felt heavy, heavier than its half-dozen ounces. It wasn’t the black and charcoal case weighing it down, but the knowledge that it held more deadly information than even Bucky Barnes was comfortable holding.

Bucky scooted around a large tour group, taking the opportunity to shed his garish jacket and toss it under a nearby row of chairs. He glanced down at the phone in his hand and swore under his breath; the battery was flashing, its life all but drained away.

Then it died.

Bucky cursed for real this time, his eyes glued to the now-black screen. How long would it take to boot back up? He chanced a look over his shoulder as he ran on, but his pursuers were nowhere in sight. At least he had—

Slam.

Bucky grunted as he pitched forward, his legs tangling with someone else’s as the phone in his hand went flying. He caught himself on his right arm—the left would have made a very noticeable noise—and rolled away from the woman gasping under him, snatching up his phone.

“Sorry,” he blurted. He barely registered her wince, too busy scanning the terminal.

“Fucking hell,” she gasped. She clambered to her knees with the help of her friend and grabbed her own phone, its case also muted dark colors. “Watch where you’re going, will you?”

Bucky’s ears caught the telltale sound of his pursuers—still too far to be seen, but still far too close for comfort. His eyes flitted briefly over the woman’s face. She was more angry than hurt, at least.

“Sorry,” he said again, and then he ran on.

By the time he made it through security—thank god for his fresh SHIELD badge—Natasha was waiting in her corvette. He dove into the passenger seat. A charge cord was already plugged in, waiting.

“Go, go,” he urged.

“Nice to see you too,” Natasha said drily, but she pulled away from the curb, weaving expertly between cars as Bucky fumbled with the charge cord. He waited with bated breath for the lock screen to come up.

When it did, Bucky gaped. Instead of the plan black background he’d expected, there was a background image. A painting? Was that Monet?

A text message notification slid onto the screen.

Disha: Have fun girl!!! Take lots of pictures of the beach for me while I wither away in the library 😂 😂 😂

Bucky’s eyes bugged out.

“What the fuck?”

—

“I can’t believe we made it,” Mira said. She sagged in her seat, kicking off her flats. “First the train gets delayed, then you have to run into a fucking maniac—”

“Hey,” you said, “he ran into me.” You brandished your arm; you could already feel a bruise forming on your elbow.

“It’s not like you were watching your step.” Mira snorted and leaned forward to peer out the window. “How long before we take off, d’you think?”

“As long as it’s soon, I don’t really care.” You lean back and spread your hands, painting a picture in your mind. “All I want is to be lying under an umbrella with the waves lapping at my feet in less than twenty-four hours. Is that too much to ask?”

“After four months of a New York winter? Hell no.”

You giggled along with Mira. The plane finally drove onto the runway, and in minutes, you were in the skies.

—

“I’m sorry, you what?”

Bucky kicked the doorpost, scowling. “My phone got swapped with some—some girl’s.”

“How the hell did that happen, Buck?”

“They were on my tail,” Bucky snapped. “Airports are busy when they haven’t been evacuated, Steve!”

Steve groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, yeah… Well, now what? Where is it? That phone’s got so many hot secrets on it that someone’s bound to realize we’ve lost it sooner than later.”

“That’s the problem.” Bucky screwed up his face, dreading the inevitable reaction. “I did too good a job encrypting my phone. I’ve got no idea where it is.”

Steve’s eyes popped. He grabbed his hair until it all stood on end. “Bucky! What the fuck! There are nuclear codes on your phone right now!”

“Think I forgot, punk?” Bucky scoffed and flung himself into the nearest chair. “Trust me, if I look calm it’s only so I don’t bust any more holes in Stark’s fancy-ass walls.” He clenched his hands together, the knuckles on his right hand white with tension. “I need the footage from the airport. If we can figure out where she’s goin’—”

“Right.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it back down. “I’ll get on it. In the meantime, figure out who this girl is. If the wrong people figure out what she’s packing, she’s gonna be in some deep trouble.”

—

“Hey, can I borrow your charger? Mine’s in the overhead bin.”

“Sure.” Mira unplugged her phone. You plugged yours in and drummed your hands on the armrest between you as you looked out over the Atlantic. Cirrus clouds floated below you, casting wispy shadows along the rippling water miles below. Germs, noisy children, and airports aside, you did love flying.

“Did you change your phone background?” Mira asked.

“Huh?” You glanced at your phone, then snatched it up with a frown. The photo you’d taken of Monet’s Water Lilies was nowhere to be seen. Just a boring black background. “No…” You pressed your thumb to the home button, but it vibrated in your hand and stayed locked. “Weird.” You tried again, rotating your thumb a millimeter this way and that until you were prompted to enter your passcode.

But that didn’t work either.

“What the hell?”

“Wait,” Mira said. She shook her finger in midair, lips parted. “That guy you ran into! He dropped his phone too! Maybe you swapped!”

“Oh nooo,” you groaned. “Fuck! What am I going to do?”

Mira snorted. “You can live without your phone for a week, silly.”

“No I can’t! I was going to take photos! I can’t grab your phone every time I want to take a picture.” Even as you spoke, you thought of something. You swiped up on the strange phone and grinned triumphantly. “Ha! I can still take photos. Whoever’s phone this is is just gonna have to deal.”

You looked out the window again. It was a perfect view—some more clouds now, and the sun hitting the waves… You angled the phone and snapped a photo.

“Do you think they have iCloud?” Mira said.

“Who knows. All I know is that I’m going to stop caring about this little misstep and start enjoying myself.” You stuffed the stranger’s phone under your leg, linked your hands behind your head, and grinned.

—

Bucky took a swig of coffee. Breaking into the stranger’s phone had been insanely easy. He wasn’t used to working with civvie tech. After putting in so much effort to cracking through actual security, this felt absurd. Did she have any idea how easy it was?

Were all civilian phones this easy to get into?

Dear lord.

He pushed the thought aside and focused back on the array of screens. He’d hooked the phone up to the computers in his room, and now it was as simple as scrolling through emails and contact lists, text message histories, photos—

Bucky choked on his coffee. It sloshed in his mug, some spilling over his fingers. He swore, but his eyes were glued to the screen.

The third-to-last picture was um. It was.

Lingerie.

The picture wasn’t even blown up; it was just there, the same size as two dozen others, almost innocent in its placement between a photo of a salad and another of some latte art. Apparently this girl—woman, dear god, she was a fucking woman alright—liked taking photos of food.

And of herself, in a mirror, barely clothed.

The fleeting glimpse he’d gotten of her in the airport had done her zero justice. A scowl was never the best introduction, but… Damn. The difference that the soft lighting and soft smile and soft skin made was fucking huge.

Bucky swallowed and closed the window. He did not need to be seeing that. Distracting, that’s what it was. Unsettling. He shifted in his seat, tugging at his pants.

Data. Right.

He started with the emails. Easy enough. Most of them were forwarded from a university—was she a student? He checked some of the opened emails. There it was—grad student union. Suspicion confirmed. He found her flight receipt in short order. Grand Cayman? He leaned back in his chair to check the calendar on the other wall. Mid-March?

Had to be spring break.

A knock came at his door as he was scanning for any information on hotels or Airbnbs.

“What?” he called.

Natasha poked her head in. “Something popped up,” she said. She held out her tablet, eyes wandering over to his screens. “Your phone’s locked, but she’s still using it.”

“Huh?”

“Camera’s still accessible,” Natasha explained. “Looks like she’s en route to—” She peered over his shoulder and passed him the tablet. “Grand Cayman.”

Bucky stared. His iCloud photos were on display. The whole screen, save the newest photo, were photos of documents he’d temporarily filched from a facility in Irkutsk Oblast. Then, at the bottom right, there was the new photo. It wasn’t Russian documents, and it certainly wasn’t from Irkutsk Oblast. Just sun on the water, with soft clouds hanging in the sky.

It looked a lot nicer than New York at the moment, that was for sure.

“Well, I knew she was gettin’ on a plane.”

“What else have you found out?” Natasha asked.

“Grad student, from the area, on vacation with a friend. Nothing about a hotel so far.”

“Maybe the friend booked it.”

Bucky hummed. Made sense. He did some more digging. The woman didn’t have a banking app on her phone.

Finally, some common sense.

“What now?” Natasha asked. She snagged his discarded mug and finished off his coffee. “Ugh, I don’t know how you can handle so much sugar.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink other people’s coffee,” he said snidely. She stuck her tongue out at him, eyes twinkling. Bucky rolled his eyes. “What now? I’m gonna figure out how to get in touch with her without being entirely creepy about it. Don’t want her freakin’ out.”

“Good luck with that,” Natasha said with snort. She patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, James, I’m sure it’ll be juuust fine.”

—

“Mira, this is too swanky!”

You turned in place, mouth agape. Your hotel room looked right out onto the water, the bed plenty large for both of you and the sheer curtains blowing in the breeze. And there was a table with two chairs, a mini fridge, bathrobes even…

“My dad had a lot of points on his travel rewards card,” Mira said. “And given that we’re graduating in May…” She shrugged a shoulder, smiling coyly. “We deserve a little treat.”

“Well, bless your dad!” You squeezed Mira in a tight hug, then ran to the window. The sun was low in the sky, almost skimming the horizon, light glittering off the gentle waves. “This is absolutely heaven.”

You opened up the camera on the stranger’s phone and snapped a photo of the water. You lowered the phone and bit your lip. Did the man who’d bumped into you have iCloud? Could he see the photos you were taking? So far, you’d only taken shots of the ocean. Was it safe to take a photo of yourself? It’s not like you needed one, but more than one person had asked to see pics.

Wait.

This guy had the same phone as you. That meant he had the same charger. That meant—

“Mira, can I use your phone?” you blurted.

“Uh, what for?” Mira looked up from her perch on the bed, where she was sorting through her suitcase. She’d already taken out her two bathing suits, but you ignored the cute frills in favor of sticking your hand in her face.

“I’m going to text my phone! Maybe that guy will have charged my phone by now, and then we can figure out how the hell I’m gonna get my phone back after we get home.”

“Ohhhh.” Mira proffered her phone. “Just don’t go giving him your passwords or anything,” she warned.

“Are you kidding? I’m not stupid.” You flopped down in the chair by the window, the breeze tickling your skin, and got to typing.

—

Mira: Hi, this is the person you ran into at the airport. We switched phones after you knocked us over. We should figure out how to get our phones back. Can you send me an email at [email]?

—

“Oh thank god,” Bucky muttered. He reread the text, grateful beyond words that she’d beaten him to the punch. He’d been about to send this Mira a text of his own, but couldn’t figure out how to do so without exposing himself. Now, he had an out. He opened a new browser window and sent off an email from one of his many covers, hoping his desperation wasn’t too obvious.

—

“This James guy seems pretty desperate to get his phone back,” you said. You were lying next to Mira on the bed, the BBC muted on the tv on the other side of the room. Mira, bless her, was letting you use her phone to check your email.

“Who can blame him?” Mira laughed. “Look at you!”

“Hey, these things are expensive!” You couldn’t help but giggle in return, embarrassed though you were. “Besides, pretty much everyone’s a little addicted. So what’s on the docket for tomorrow? Breakfast downstairs, then beach?”

Mira started to respond, but her jaw dropped. “Look!” she gasped.

You stared at the tv. Mira scrambled for the remote, and with the push of a button a crisp English voice piped out of the speakers.

“—engers are apparently in the midst of a scandal of their own today, as can be seen from this chase in JFK International Airport in New York. Sergeant James Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier, is seen here fleeing from members of a Russian terror organization known as—”

Mira muted the television.

“What the fuck,” you breathed. You stared down at James’ phone, then back at the tv. A severe headshot of the Winter Soldier stared back at you. You’d seen his face for a second, maybe two, but there was no denying it.

You had the Winter Soldier’s phone.

“What the fuck?!” you yelped.

“Omigod, be quiet,” Mira hissed, clapping a hand over your mouth. You made frantic noises into her uncomfortably strong grip until she dropped her hand.

“Sorry, sorry,” you said quietly. Your shoulders were up around your ears, your bra straps digging into your skin. “I—what? What the fuck? This was almost funny before, but this?” You gestured wordlessly to the black-cased phone at your feet. “This is unreal.”

Mira reached out and picked up the phone gingerly. “I wonder what’s on here,” she mused.

“Well I don’t,” you said. “Dear god, how many state secrets are on that thing?!”

“Yes, well, of the two of us, I’m the polisci major, so…”

Mira’s cheeky grin was enough to break the tension. You chuckled, shoulders dropping a little.

“I suppose this is what I get for running late this morning.” You collapsed back onto the bed and stared up at the smooth ceiling. “Mira, do you think we’ll be okay?”

Mira grabbed your hand and squeezed it fondly. “Of course we’ll be okay, babe.” She got up to turn off the lights and crawled back in beside you. “Now get some beauty sleep. We’ve got a beach day tomorrow!”

—

“Bad news, Barnes,” Tony announced. He tosses a dossier onto the briefing table. “Someone tipped off the news. BBC, CNN, Fox—they’re all over your little jaunt at JFK.”

Bucky groaned. He was tired enough—a midnight briefing was never fun, but this? Today? He’d had it. “Seriously?” He opened the folder and winced. There it was, a blurry screenshot of his little tumble to the ground. He glanced at Steve and Natasha; both of them were wincing, too. “Fuck.”

“Oh, it gets worse,” Tony said. He gestured for Bucky to turn the page.

Same screenshot, but it was blown up even more. And there, easily visible, were the two phones on the floor.

“We intercepted that particular picture on the dark web an hour ago.” Tony sat on the edge of the table right next to Bucky, his foot tapping in the empty air. “There’s a race to see if you ended up with the wrong phone.”

Bucky’s blood ran cold. “What?”

“There’s a fifty-fifty chance you snatched up the wrong phone,” Tony said. “So…” He shrugged. “They’re hedging their bets in favor of you being an absolute idiot.” Tony’s face had lost all traces of humor. “That civilian, not to mention her friend or the rest of Grand Cayman Island, is in serious danger right now. All it’s gonna take is one trigger-happy goon, and—”

“I get it!” Bucky snapped. His brain supplied him with plenty of fodder: her in her lingerie, her in a bikini, her in jeans and ankle boots like she had been at the airport, blood spreading around her in a puddle. “How fast can you get me to Grand Cayman?”

—

You woke with a lazy stretch as morning light filtered in through the curtains.

Mira was already in the shower, humming loud enough that you could hear her from bed. Her phone was charging on the far bedside table; you’d shut James’ phone off before you’d fallen asleep, not particularly interested in dealing with its existence while you were sleeping off the flight.

You padded over to the window and smiled at the view of the sun-kissed ocean. God, this place really was heaven.

A sharp buzzing from the bed disrupted the serene setting. You wandered over to Mira’s phone, curious.

Your heart leapt out of your chest. It was you calling.

You glanced at the bathroom door, blood rushing in your ears, before you snatched up Mira’s phone and answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Is this Mira?”

Your breath caught at the familiar voice on the other end. “No. Is this James?”

A pause.

“Yeah. Yeah it is.” James let out a low breath. “You, uh…”

“I saw the news,” you said quickly. Would he understand? You weren’t sure how much was safe to say.

“Oh. Um, good.”

You sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the charge cord. “Are you alright?” you asked.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” He sounded bewildered. “Are you okay?”

“Well, my vacation just got a little more complicated, but yeah, I’m fine.” You couldn’t help but smile a little. For all that he was a fearless assassin, he was worried. It was… cute.

“I don’t think ‘a little’ quite covers it,” he said quietly.

You froze. “What do you mean?”

“I fucked up,” James said bluntly. “People are going to try and come after you.”

A shudder ran through you. You clenched your free hand into a fist, the cord cutting into your fingers. You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

“I’m on my way to you,” he continued.

“What?! How?”

His low chuckle cuts straight through your fear. “You said you saw the news.”

“Oh,” you say stupidly. “Right.” James Barnes, Winter Soldier, assassin, Avenger. Of course he’d figured out where you were. Hell, he had your phone. No doubt the security on a normal iPhone was nothing to a guy like that. You ran your tongue along your lips as you thought of how sturdy he’d felt barreling into you.

Mm.

“So,” James said, cutting into your thoughts. “I should be there in a few hours. Can you keep to yourself til then?”

“No way! I’m not holing myself up in my hotel room on my spring break,” you said. “I’ll lay low, sure, but—”

“You do know your life is at risk, right?”

“I’m a woman. My life is always at risk,” you snapped. “I know how to handle myself, okay?”

“You—” James cut himself off. “Listen. I obviously can’t tell you what to do, but I really don’t want your death on my conscience. Please be careful—” He broke off again.

Had he been about to say your name? You suspected so. The worry in his voice softened you. Maybe he wasn’t thinking of you specifically, but… well, it was nice to pretend. Despite the unflattering photo from the BBC, you knew the man was gorgeous. Was it so bad to imagine he cared?

“Alright,” you murmured. “I’ll be careful.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I’ll see you soon.”

—

Bucky had flown across the globe countless times. To Australia, to Irkutsk, to Antarctica. From New York to Grand Cayman in one of Tony’s jets was less than four hours.

But on the other end was a woman with guts, with an inner fire and yet enough reason to listen to his advice, with fucking lingerie photos on her phone. He shifted in his seat and stared down at the water below.

He’d never had a longer flight.

—

Three hours later, you were fuming. You couldn’t believe you’d agreed to stay inside. Mira was out on the beach below, and every so often she’d wave up at the window. She’d made friends with a gaggle of bubbly undergrads that you could hear from the hotel. You were so fucking bored from sitting here watching sitcoms and drumming your fingers on the windowsill.

Mira had understood, of course, but still, you were beyond ready to take yourself and your new bathing suit into the water. You were already dressed for the beach—sultry bathing suit, a sheer white cover-up skating along your thighs, strappy sandals to save your feet from the burning sand. Your sunglasses and floppy hat were waiting on the rumpled bed.

Dammit, when the hell was James going to get here? He’d said a few hours, and it had already been three…

If you had to wait another whole hour, you were going to scream.

You wandered over to the hallway door and peered out of the eyehole. No one. The door was double-locked. Your hand hovered by the deadlock as curiosity teased your brain. Would a little peek hurt?

The elevator dinged in the hall, and your heart leapt into your throat. You pressed your eye back against the peephole and held your breath. Two men, dressed conspicuously in dark, thick clothes, wandered slowly down the hall towards your room. They passed your door, though one of them looked straight at the peephole with narrowed eyes.

You jerked away, heart pounding. They were scoping the place out! They knew where you were!

Mira had left her phone with you in anticipation of James’ next call. You typed in the passcode with shaking fingers and locked yourself in the bathroom, hoping the strange men wouldn’t be able to hear you from the hallway. You dialed your phone number. Every ring went on forever.

Finally, James picked up.

“I’m almost there. What’s wrong?” he said without preamble.

“Oh thank god,” you whispered. You pressed a hand to your thudding heart. The edge had already come off at the sound of his soft baritone. “I think someone knows my room. Well, there’s two of them—white men, heavy clothes. Not vacationers. They were going down my hallway, but they looked right at my room…”

“Well, keep the door locked,” James said. “I assume it’s locked.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yrs. It’s double-locked. Should I stuff a chair under the doorknob too?” you asked sarcastically.

“Might as well,” he said. There was a touch of humor in his voice. “No harm in being thorough.”

A little giggle burst out of you, and you stuffed your knuckles in your mouth to stifle yourself. “Whatever you say, Sergeant Barnes,” you teased, voice low.

His breath hitched, and a sudden flush spread across your face and down your neck. Did you really just say that?

Oops.

“Right,” he said, voice slightly strangled. “Well, I’ll be there in five. Don’t get killed before then.” He paused. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. “Put the chair under the doorknob. I’ll call when I’m there.”

He hung up. You cradled the phone to your ear, longing to hear his voice again.

Five minutes.

For James Barnes, you could wait that long.

—

Bucky’s disguise was good. He looked like a buff hipster. Round sunglasses, a v-neck white tee, fitted jeans with more stretch than their appearance let on, and his customary black boots rounded it all out. The backpack was all straight lines, and far too small for a reasonable amount of stuff. He’d had to leave most of his favorite guns behind. Still, he had a few knives tucked away, not to mention the pistols in easy reach.

Then there was the holographic cover for his left arm, though Tony, the bastard, had given it a tattoo that Bucky never would have considered. Watercolor flowers and vines crawled up from the pretend wrist right up to his shoulder. Bucky didn’t even know if his real skin would hold a tattoo, what with the advanced healing. Would his body just flush the ink away?

He wasn’t particularly interested in finding out.

Did she like tattoos?

Bucky shook his head as he climbed out of the rental car and squinted up at the swanky hotel. He whistled under his breath. Damn, this was almost as fancy as the sort of places Tony liked. No doubt the rooms all had nice, big beds…

“Enough,” he muttered to himself.

He eased his way through the milling tourists and headed straight past reception. No one questioned him. He looked like he belonged. He made sure of it.

Bucky bypassed the elevators for the sweeping staircase and climbed up two steps at a time. Her room was on the second floor, down the western corridor. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the two men she’d described loitering halfway down the hall. He ducked down a side hallway before they noticed him, heart hammering in his chest.

It was one thing to give her advice over the phone. Seeing two men at her door, men he recognized from his Irkutsk Oblast mission?

This was something else entirely.

He knew almost nothing about her, but what he did know—and what he’d seen—painted a picture he wasn’t likely to soon forget. If something happened to her, with him so damn close…

No.

Bucky whipped off the sunglasses and hooked them in his collar. He slid a semi-automatic pistol out of his belt and let out a slow breath as he turned off the safety. He let the memory of her face flicker in his mind one last time before he pushed it aside, saving it for later.

A bang echoed down the hallway.

Bucky ran silently down the hall. Neither man had noticed him yet. They were clambering inside the room, forty feet away, now twenty, and then the taller one glanced over.

His eyes widened comically.

Bucky fired at the man’s kneecaps in rapid succession. He collapsed with a howl, curling up into a fetal position. The other leapt inside the room with a grunt. Bucky covered the last few meters and skidded to a stop by the bust-open door, eyes wide and gun at the ready.

—

The lamp shattered against the shorter goon’s head just as he jumped to his feet.

He wavered in place. You scampered back breathlessly, snatching up James’ phone and scanning the room for another weapon.

Then the goon collapsed face-down at your feet. You sagged in relief, and then you realized someone else was there.

In the open doorway, behind the knocked-over chair and through the open door, stood James. His eyes were wide as he took you in. You stared back at him, lips parted in surprise. He looked totally different than the last time you’d seen him. He looked… suspiciously like a hipster.

Your lips twitched. You slapped your free hand over your mouth before you burst out laughing. This—this was James Barnes, Winter Soldier?

No way.

James’s lips twitched.

“Well, nice to see you too,” he said, smiling. He turned to grab the man from the hallway, giving you a perfect view of his ass in those tight pants. You swallowed as he dragged the whimpering man in.

“You’re getting blood on the carpets,” you told him.

“Eh, we’ll leave a big tip.”

The whimpering man wriggled against James’ hold. James tossed him against the wall and shut the splintered door, double-locking it and setting the chair back under the doorknob.

As his back was turned, the still-conscious goon started reaching in his belt. You rolled your eyes.

“Ahem,” you said.

James turned and placed a well-aimed kick to the man’s busted knee. “Try that again and you’ll wind up dead,” he warned. His low growl sent an involuntary shudder through you that—thank god—he didn’t seem to notice. He dragged the unconscious man, the one you’d so excellently knocked out, beside him.

“Want something to tie them up with?” you asked.

James lit on you with such a bright grin your heart skipped a beat. Hipster disguise or not, the man was gorgeous.

“So thoughtful, too,” he murmured. “Thanks, doll.”

A blush rose to your cheeks as you grabbed Mira’s charge cord and tossed it to him. He caught it deftly and tied the goons’ hands together between their backs.

James stood back and crossed his arms as he looked down at the two men on the carpet. “Nice to see you two again,” he said, conversationally. “What brings you here, Yudin?”

The tall one, Yudin, spat at James, who tutted and shook his head. In a flash, his left hand was at Yudin’s throat, stretching his neck uncomfortably high.

You blink, confusion racketing through you as you stare at the pale skin and the watercolor tattoo of James’ left arm. Doesn’t the Winter Soldier have a metal arm? Is the whole thing fake? Did he get a new arm?

“Talk,” James growled.

“Your—phone,” Yudin croaked. “They thought—”

“Who?”

“Общество змей,” Yudin gasped. He wriggled in James’ grip. James threw him back to the floor.

“Спасибо.” He kicked Yudin on the side of the head; the Russian collapsed in a silent heap.

At last, James turned back to you. His sculpted face was lined with concern, and you realized belatedly that your hands were shaking slightly. You laughed nervously and clutched James’ phone tighter.

“You okay?” he asked, his eyes on your face.

“Well, they’re the ones tied up and unconscious, so yes, I think I am.” You let out a slow breath and sat heavily on the bed, James’ phone tucked between your legs. “Thank you, James. You came just in time.”

“Almost too late,” he muttered. He ran a hand through his hair, gave the goons a last look-over, and came to stand in front of you. You gazed up at him, heart racing, as he studied you. He reached a hand out, but it fell back before it touched your face. “They didn’t get to you?”

“No,” you said. You swallowed. He was so close you could practically feel his body heat. Your eyes darted along his body, from the possibly fake tattoo to his thick chest and the pulse point at his neck. Warmth tickled at you, from your face to your neck and down your body. “They didn’t get to me.”

You did, though.

James bit his lip, his eyes as hungry as you felt. Only now did you realize how exposed you really were. There he was, pistol tucked into his belt, fully dressed, while you were in a flimsy cover-up and a bathing suit that showed all too much.

From the look in his eyes, you wondered if to him, it showed all too little.

A fresh wave of heat flooded your face, and you finally looked away. Meekly, you held out his phone.

“Huh? Oh.”

James took his phone from your hands, the brief brush of your fingers electric. Did he feel it? You couldn’t tell. You were afraid to look, afraid that all the feelings swirling inside you were affecting you alone.

But James put a finger under your chin and tilted your face up. His eyes were bright, a flush high in his cheeks. His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

“It was worth it,” he murmured.

Your eyes widened, but before you could speak he ducked to press his lips to yours.

Roaring filled your ears as you gasped into James’ kiss. His hand slid around the back of your neck, hot and heavy against your skin. His lips were like fire. You grabbed hold of his shirt, desperate for purchase. You fell back, legs still dangling off the bed, and tugged James down with you. He grunted, caught himself on his other hand, but he didn’t let go of you and he definitely didn’t stop kissing you. He ran his tongue along your lips, prompting a moan. Only then did he pull away.

If his eyes had been bright before, they were smoldering now. You swallowed and pressed your hands against the broad planes of his chest.

“Totally worth it,” you agreed breathlessly.

James’ answering grin was brighter than the sun. You traced the shape of his mouth with your eyes, committing it to memory, but then he was kissing you again, and you realized there was no way you could ever forget the feel of his mouth on yours.

When you broke the kiss, desperate for air, he hovered with his mouth a hair’s breadth from yours. You lay dizzy beneath him, one hand trailing along his torso while the other tucked his hair behind his ear.

“I thought you seemed a little desperate for your phone back,” you murmured.

He dropped his head against your shoulder and chuckled. “Yeah…” He rolled to lie on his side next to you, one hand propping his head up as the other reached into his back pocket. “Here. I’ve got yours, fully charged.”

You squealed happily and grabbed your phone. Lots of unread texts, but it still had the Monet lockscreen, and it opened under your thumbprint without question.

“Oh, thank you so much, James!” You kissed him again, brief but happy.

“Call me Bucky?” he asked.

You glanced at him, still smiling. “Alright. Bucky.” Then you remembered what you’d said not even fifteen minutes before. A coy smirk grew on your face. You blinked innocently up at him, one finger tapping your chin. “Are you sure you don’t prefer Sergeant Barnes?”

Bucky positively growled. He grabbed you by the waist and dragged you up the bed, eyes burning as he settled on his hands and knees over you. Every last ounce of air left your lungs as he dipped his head to suck a mark against your collarbone. By the time he pulled away, you were putty in his hands.

“Doll,” he said, voice thick and his eyes carrying a world of meaning, “you are about to find out.”

A/N: I don’t speak Russian, so it might be wrong! It translates to “Serpent Society” (which is a canon Marvel evil organization) and “Thanks.”

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think :D

[choicesfansstuff]

Mistakes (Part 2)

Hello, everyone. I want to thank you all for your positive feedback and comments about the first part of “Mistakes”! Here is the second and final part of the story. I hope that you all like it! :)

Fair warning: It’s rather lengthy. Lol.

Click here to go to Part 1.

"Why?"

The tone of her voice is tensely calm. And it chills you.

"Kamilah..." You trail off, unsure of how to even begin.

For several moments, you continue to grasp for words. "I ---"

You hear her take a breath. "Stop." She says. "This isn't the place to have this conversation. Get in the car."

With her back still turned to you and without another word, she strides towards the exit of the Cavern and makes her way to her sleek black automobile. You hurry to follow her.

The ride to her apartment building is long and silent. The tension between you two hangs heavily in the air.

You silently follow her to the elevator and into her apartment. You stand in the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do while Kamilah rummages through her liquor collection at the bar.

Kamilah slams a glass on top of the counter and pours bourbon into it. She takes the glass and walks to the wall-sized windows. She takes a long sip.

“I’ll ask you again. Why?”

Her voice is still eerily calm. You feel even more chills running down your spine.

“I…” you begin to stammer.

She swirls her drink. “Go on.”

“I… I… I’m… sorry.”

She downs all of the bourbon. “Oh, you’re sorry?”

In the blink of an eye, the glass goes sailing through the air before smashing against the wall. Kamilah rounds on you, eyes smoldering.

“Is that all you have to say?! That you’re sorry?!”  Her beautiful face is twisted with anger. Her eyes are narrowed down to slits, and her forehead is creased with lines.

“Why? Why did you do it?” Although she is no longer shouting, her tone is still laced with rage.

You freeze – terror and guilt force you to remain still even as Kamilah glares at you.

“I don’t know what else to say right now.” You manage to say after a moment. “I am so s-sorry.” Your voice begins to tremble.

Your response only seems to spur the vampire even further into a spiral of rage. "Not only did you sleep with someone else, but you also slept with Priya Lacroix of all people! Do you know how stupid and foolish that was?! She could've killed you!"

She looks at her hands, which you see are trembling with anger. “Am I not good enough for you?” She asks. “Have I been lacking?! Haven’t I been good to you?!”

Haven’t I been good to you?

Amidst your feelings of fear and guilt, the last question causes you to snap out of your stupor.

And it also causes something else inside to snap. And before you know it, you blurt out your answer.

“No.”

The single word stops Kamilah dead in her tracks. “Excuse me?” She responds in disbelief.

“I said…” You begin to speak – the terror you initially felt beginning to subside to give way to something else entirely. “… no. You haven’t been good to me.”

Your answer seems to have rendered Kamilah speechless. So, you decide to take advantage of the silence to elaborate before she gets the chance to retaliate.

“Lately, you’ve done nothing but act coldly towards me.” You begin, gaining momentum. “Whenever I try to talk to you, you brush me off. Whenever I text you, you always reply with “Not now.” Whenever we’re in the same room, you act as if I’m not even there! The only time you actually acknowledge me is either when you need something from me or if you want me to shut up whenever you think that I’m talking too much!”

You notice that your voice has become raised and high-pitched. But right now, you don’t care – all the hurt and pain you’ve bottled up have started to spill over.

“So, no. You haven’t been good to me! In case you haven’t realized, you’ve actually been treating me like crap!”

Kamilah remains stunned for a few seconds. Then she comes alive again with indignation.

"In case you haven't realized, Gaius is on the loose! And he wants to conquer the world and destroy everything as we know it! The others, Adrian and I must do all that we can to stop him at all costs. I don't have time for anything else!"

Undeterred and feeling indignant yourself, you retaliate.

"You don't think that I know that? He kidnapped me, Kamilah! He used me to get the information he needed! I know what's at stake! I’m fully aware of how dangerous he is!"

"Then why are you mewling about not getting enough attention?!”

Her statement was like a slap to your face.

"I'm not asking that you dote on me or baby me 24/7! All I'm asking for is a little consideration! Even though the others are busy, they still take time to check on me. They talk to me. They make me feel that they care.

"You, on the other hand? You barely look at me! You act like you don’t care at all!"

Your retort causes her to pause for a moment. A flash of hurt similar to the one you saw in the Cavern crosses her features.

"How can you say that?! Have you forgotten all those nights we spent together? All those conversations we had?"

At the mere mention of those moments, memories begin to flash in your mind. The smiles you shared as lay entangled in each other’s arms. The small laughs during the most unexpected moments. The kisses you trailed across each other's bodies as the moon shone brilliantly from outside the windows.

At this point, the hurt you’ve been feeling seems to have reached its boiling point. You feel tears beginning to prick your eyes. “Honestly? With how you’ve been acting? I’ve started to think that you only give a damn about me whenever you want to have sex!” The tears start to flow freely. “I feel like your dirty little secret!”

At your words, all traces of fury immediately evaporate from the Egyptian vampire's face. A look of shock and hurt instantly replaces the rage.

“Are you… blaming me for your affair with Priya?”

You’re caught-off guard by her question. You stare at her with tear-stricken eyes, unable to utter a word.

Your silence seems to be the only answer Kamilah needs. She walks over to her desk and picks up a phone.

“Samuel. It’s Miss Sayeed. Take a car and come to my apartment. I need you to escort Miss Amy Walsh to her home.”

She sets the phone down.

“I called one of my Clan members to give you a lift.” She speaks in a monotone without so much as a glance at you. “Go downstairs and wait for him.”

“Kamilah…” You finally get the strength to say something.

“Leave.”

“But –”

“I said leave!”

It was all too much to bear. You turn on her heel and leave Kamilah’s apartment in tears.

--------

Three months later

It appears that the Council’s plan is working – the rotation of hiding places has kept the vial of the First Vampire’s blood secured and safe. So far, none of the already utilized hiding places have been disturbed – a good sign.

Yet, the Council refuses to become complacent. Knowing the danger and threat that Gaius poses, they regularly meet to discuss updates and strategies. And as Adrian’s assistant, and also because you are already deeply involved in their plans, you dutifully attended each meeting. No matter how difficult it is for you.

You and Kamilah haven’t spoken to each other ever since that fateful night months earlier. The memory of that night is still fresh in your mind as if it had only happened yesterday. You feel hurt, angry, and regretful all at once.

Kamilah doesn’t acknowledge you at all during the meetings – you’ve shared absolutely no eye contact or any form exchange whatsoever. Even during the times that Priya tries to make a move on you again, she doesn’t react. Due to the effectiveness of the rotation plan, she seems less tired and less on edge. But she still leads the meetings and strategy discussions with focused calculation and silent intensity.

She’s doing well. And she seems to have placed everything that’s happened between the two of you behind her.

That’s what hurts the most.

The others have noticed your sullen demeanor and have tried to coax into confiding in them. Lily, being your best friend, kept insisting that you can tell her anything. Adrian offered to give you some time off from work and assured you that he's always there to listen of you ever needed someone to unload to. Jax tried to cheer you up by touring you around the Shadow Den and by engaging in all sorts of the activities with the former Clanless vampires.

But you insisted that you were just tired and stressed because of everything that has happened and because of the possible dangers. The others, knowing that anyone would be distressed by those circumstances, accepted your explanation. But they still insisted that you go to them if you ever wanted to talk.

One day, you’re strolling across town. You’ve just finished having an early dinner and you were on your way to work.

You suddenly stop when a man steps in your way.

“Uh… excuse me.” You try to move around him, but he grabs your arm and lifts you onto his shoulder, and before you can retaliate, you suddenly find yourself in a back alley located several blocks away from where you were strolling.

“Hey! What gives?!”

When he turns to look at you, you’re met with red eyes and fangs. “You’re coming with me, missy.”

He looks around for a moment to make sure that you’re alone, and just as he’s about to make a run for it, you see a pipe leaning against the wall and immediately take it.

“Hiya!” You scream as you bash it into the side of his head with all of your strength

He grunts and drops you in surprise. You scramble to your feet, but before you can run, he lands a blow to your side which causes to fly into the adjacent brick wall. The side of your head makes contact against the dirty cemented surface, and you feel warm blood oozing from your temple. 

Through your hazy state of mind, you see a second and familiar figure approaching the vampire.

“You careless fool!” Although you’re barely conscious, you’re still able to recognize that voice. “You could’ve killed her! We need her alive for our mission to be successful!”

“I’m sorry, Lord Jameson.” The other vampire answered while lowering his head.

The scholar takes a breath and composes himself. He then turns to you. “No matter. What matters is that you’re still alive. It was wise that I came along just in case something like this happened.”

He walks over to you and kneels beside you. “Now, to find the vial." He takes hold of your head and suddenly visions of different vampires flood your mind.

 …No… Have… to… stop…

Despite the literal throbbing pain in your head and the feeling that your mind was being torn apart, you’re somehow able to stop the visions.

Scholar Jameson notices the abrupt halt of the flow of visions and presses his fingers and palms even deeper into your scalp and skin as he attempts to force the flow through his psychic abilities. But without knowing how, you’re able to counter his powers.

“What?!” The shock was apparent in Jameson’s voice. “How is this possible?!”

Even though you feel weak, you manage to smirk at Jameson. “… Take…that.” You say feebly.

Your feeling of triumph is cut short when Jameson deals a second blow to your head – causing more blood to ooze from your wound. The strike drains you of all strength, thus weakening your mental barrier.

"That's better. Now, on to business." His grip on the sides of your head tightens, and a stream of memories and visions overwhelms you.

Pain takes over all your senses. The combined force of Jameson’s powers and your own, as well as the steady flow of blood that was streaming from your injury, are all too much for you to handle. You barely hold on.

Despite all the random memories you see, you also sense your own memories. You think of the times you spent with Lily before she was Turned. All the inside jokes you and Adrian shared in-between office meetings. The moments you spent with Jax at the Shadow Den along with the other Clanless.

But out of all of them, the memories that stand out the most are your memories of one certain Egyptian vampire.

It was all too much, so you start to drift away, but before unconsciousness takes over, you hear a third voice from a distance.

“Get away from her!”

Those words are all that you hear before you black out.

--------

When you start to regain consciousness, you suddenly notice that your back wasn’t leaning against cement anymore. Instead, you find yourself lying on… cotton and silk?

You blearily open your eyes and see Adrian, Lily, and Jax by your bedside.

Lily wraps her arms around you. “You’re awake!” Her happy exclamation causes your head to throb.

“Lil… not so loud…”

“Sorry!”

“Amy.” Adrian takes one of your hands. “I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

“Yeah.” Jax moves to sit at the edge of your bed. “You scared us back there.”

You smile at them. Relieved to be out of danger and to be surrounded by friendly faces. You then move your right hand and notice that an IV line has been attached to it. “How long have I been out?”

“Girl, you were out cold for two days!”

“Two days!? W-what? What happened?”

Adrian is the first to speak, as he does, his face hardens. “You were attacked by Scholar Jameson and one of Gaius’s other followers.”

Flashes of the encounter suddenly reappear in your mind. “Oh, no!” Your own exclamation causes your head to hurt again.

“Easy there.” Jax says. “Don’t overdo it.”

You nurse your bandaged head and take a breath. “Jameson… tried to use his powers to use me to look through other vampires’ memories. He tried to get information about the location of the vial.”

The three vampires suddenly become alarmed. “Was he successful?” Adrian asks, dread lacing his voice.

“No.” You say, recalling what had happened. “I passed out before he got what he was looking for. If he saw it, then I would have seen it too.”

They visibly relax. “That was a close one.” Lily comments, her shoulder sagging in relief.

You notice Adrian’s eyes narrow in calculation. “It was. But we need to move the vial again. As a precaution.” Adrian looks at Jax.

“Already on it.” The black-haired vampire moves to stand. “I’m going to contact my Clan members and coordinate with the other Clan leaders. Lily, I’m going to need your help.” 

“You got it.” Lily looks at you and hugs you again. “We gotta go, Amy. I’m so glad that you made it out okay. Get well soon.”

 “I will. Thanks, Lil.”

Jax moves to place a hand on your shoulder. “Take care of yourself, Amy.”

You give him a smile before he and Lily leave.

You then start to notice your surroundings for the first time. You take in the polished marble floor and the soft king-sized bed. In front of you is a large screen TV, a mini-fridge to the right side of the room, and a liquor cabinet to the left. But what really caught your attention was the room’s distinctly Egyptian themed decor…

You tense up, not daring to hope. “Where are we?”

“We’re in Kamilah’s private suite in Ahmanet Financial.”

The mere mention of Kamilah’s name causes your heart to beat faster. “What?!”

Adrian leans back against his chair and smiles at your reaction. “Yes. Kamilah also has private living quarters in her company building.”

You blink unable to process what you’re hearing. “How… how did I even get here?”

The amusement disappears from his face. “When Jameson…” his expression hardens again, “… was attacking you, a member of Clan Sayeed was looking for you. Fortunately, he got there just in time.”

Your heart starts beating even more quickly. “A Clan Sayeed member saved me?”

Adrian nods. “Yes. His name is Samuel Cavanaugh – he’s one of Kamilah’s strongest clan members. Kamilah told me that she tasked Samuel to watch you closely just in case something happens. Kamilah was afraid that you might be targeted by Gaius again. It was a good thing that she had the foresight to do so.

“When he found you, he immediately brought you to Kamilah and she placed you here to keep you safe.”

You can hardly believe what you were hearing. It all felt too unreal. “Where is Kamilah?” you finally ask.

“She and some of her Clan members are on a man-hunt for Scholar Jameson.”

She’s on a man-hunt?! “So, Scholar Jameson escaped?”

He nods gravely. “I’m afraid so. Samuel was able to kill the other vampire, but Jameson managed to get away.”

Panic and anxiety suddenly start to shoot through your nerves. “But what if Jameson has more lackeys with him?! Kamilah and the others could get hurt!” You start to sit up, but a sensation of pain causes you to double over.

Your boss places his hands on your shoulders. “Calm down. It’s going to be okay.” He gently settles you down onto your pillow. “Kamilah can more than handle her own and her Clan members are not to be underestimated. And they’re also armed with UV flashlight beams and other weapons.”

You take a long and deep breath to calm yourself. “Okay.”

A phone suddenly vibrates in Adrian’s inner pocket. When he checks it, he frowns. “I have to go. Something urgent came up.” He places his phone away. “I’ll visit again as soon as I can. For now, get some rest.”

You give him a small smile. “You got it, boss.”

He returns it and leaves. Soon, you’re lying restlessly on the comfortable bed with your racing thoughts. It all seemed surreal. Things between you and Kamilah ended badly, but you just learned five minutes ago that she sent someone to protect you and that she’s on a man-hunt for your attacker.

Drowsiness and fatigue eventually overtake your senses. You soon drift off into a dreamless sleep. 

--------

You’re in a state of relatively peaceful slumber when you feel something brushing your hand. You open your eyes to see a tanned hand stroking yours with a manicured thumb.

When you lift your gaze, you immediately see a familiar pair of brown eyes looking at you with worry.

Your own eyes widen in surprise. “Kamilah…”

With great effort, you try to sit up and Kamilah reaches out to grab the pillow behind you.

“Here. Let me.” She adjusts the pillow so that you can sit more comfortably before she pulls at the comforter to give you more room to move. You lean back against the headboard and look at her. You notice that her normally well-kept hair is slightly tousled and that the collar of her blouse is ruffled.

You know that you’re wide awake, but you feel as if you’re dreaming. Kamilah is sitting at the edge of the side of the bed and is holding your hand.

“Amy…” she says your name softly as a relieved smile forms on her lips. “I’m glad that you're safe now.”

You look at her for a moment, still processing her presence. “Thanks.” You then glimpse at your joined hands before glancing back at her again. “You… sent one of your Clan members to keep watch over me?”

“Of course.” She begins to stroke your hand again. “I promised that we wouldn’t fail you again.”

“Right. You did say that…” you trail off. “Did you get Jameson?”

Fury flashes across her face briefly. “Sadly, no. He managed to slip away.” She then sighs.

You spend a few moments of awkward silence together. After everything that happened, you don’t know what to say, much less know how to continue your conversation. You look at the blank screen of the plasma screen TV while Kamilah stares at your still linked hands, lost in thought.

She’s the first to break the tension. “Amy…can we talk?”

You take in the uncharacteristically troubled look on her face and you nod. The Egyptian vampire lets out a breath before speaking again.

“When I heard that you were attacked, all I could think about was our fight… And when I saw how badly hurt you were, all I could think about was how things ended between us.

"With Gaius still on the loose, there's no telling what could happen. Or who would survive. And...”, she pauses for a moment before looking into your eyes.

“I don't want our last words to each other to be words said in anger or hurt."

You practically feel your heart quicken its pace at her words. “Kamilah…”

She gently tightens her grip on your hand. “I thought about what you said. And you’re right. I’ve treated you poorly. Ever since we learned that Gaius has returned, I’ve been focused on nothing but stopping him at all costs. I’ve been so pre-occupied that I forgot that there are other important things…” she trails off.

When she continues, you notice an unusual tone of vulnerability in her voice. “I should have been more considerate of your feelings. I realized that it’s not enough that I actually care. I should also make you feel that I do care. I didn’t show you just how much I value you… and I-I’m sorry.” Her voice cracks slightly as she says the last words.

The sincerity of her words overwhelms you, and you feel tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes. "Kamilah. I'm sorry, too." A tear slides down your cheek. "I don't blame you for what happened between Priya and me. That was my choice." More tears flow. "I'm so sorry for hurting you that way."

She gives your hand a gentle squeeze. "You did hurt me. But then again, I also hurt you... And I'd been hurting you for a long time."

Hesitantly, she lifts her other hand before using it to take your other one.

"We both made mistakes, Amy. And what's done is done..." She pauses as if she's contemplating what to say next.

"The only thing that we can do now is to try to put all of it behind us and move forward."

Your heart thunders as a mixture of anticipation and anxiety curl in your stomach. "What do you mean by that exactly?"

Kamilah stares at you with an earnest and exposed expression - a look that rarely graces her features. "I... want us to try again."

"What?" You ask again, hoping that you heard her correctly the first time.

"I want us to try again, Amy. I want to be better for you. Be better to you. Regardless of what happens. Come what may. I want to be with you."

You feel a huge smile slowly starting to form on your face as streams of tears begin to flow freely from your eyes.

"Oh, Kamilah... Yes!" You're unable to suppress the happiness you feel. "I want us to try again too.” You sniffle as more tears wet your cheeks. “I want to be with you again."

A wide, brilliant, and joyous smile begins to form on Kamilah's beautiful face as well. Her own eyes also start to glisten over.

She gently takes you into her arms, and you brace yourself against her shoulder, weeping tears of joy and relief as she strokes your hair from behind.

Her embrace is warm and comforting, and it melts all the hurt, anger, and pain away.

--------

One week later

You've recovered from your injuries, and you feel strong enough to attend the latest scheduled Council meeting. Despite Kamilah's protests, you insisted on going. And knowing that you couldn't be persuaded, she eventually relented.

You walk side-by-side as you enter the Cavern. And you see that Priya is already there, waiting for the others. The fashion designer's eyes light up when she sees you.

"Look who's finally up and about." She purrs. "Glad to see that you've recovered, gorgeous." She saunters towards you.

In a flash, Kamilah is between you and Priya. "Back off, Priya." She quietly glares at the younger vampire who raises a perfectly-shaped eyebrow.

"Well, look who decided to play hero again." She laughs lightly. "Stand down, Kamilah. Amy's a big girl." Priya leans around Kamilah to grin at you. "She can make decisions for herself."

You look at her intently. "You're right. I can." You step forward to stand beside Kamilah and hold her hand. She responds by lacing your fingers together for Priya to see.

The fashion designer's eyes widen in surprise. "Wait... seriously?"

"Yes. Seriously." You reply firmly.

The shock eventually gives way to curiosity. "Oh... so, does this mean that she's all yours now, Kamilah?"

"Indeed, she is." You can’t help but smile at how she replied without missing a beat.

You then turn to Priya. Steeling yourself, you address the other vampire. "What happened between us was a mistake, Priya. It shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry."

The fashion designer scoffs. "Hmph. It's your loss." She turns to Kamilah again, smiling mischievously. "Well, I hope you enjoy her, Kamilah... I certainly did." She laughs before stalking away. Kamilah's eyes flash red and you grip her hand tightly to stop her from attacking the younger vampire.

"She's not worth it." You tell her softly.

She lets out a growl before taking a calming breath. "You're right." She glares at the vampire who is now typing away at her phone on the other side of the room. "Besides, if I kill her, I'd just start a Clan war. Which is definitely not what we need right now."

You chuckle, and she cranes her head to look at you. Her eyes, now back to their brown color, soften. "Are you okay?"

You smile at her. "Yeah. I am. What about you?"

She gives you a small but warm smile before raising your joined hands to her lips. "I'm more than okay." She places a kiss on your knuckles.

End.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

After Action

Summary: Detective Bakugo finds his partner, Detective Midoriya, working well into the early morning again, and decides to step in before she overworks herself.

Note: Based off of @ciaxlia‘s Detective AU.

Written with Permission.

“Jesus Christ, Izuku, are you still working on your report?” Bakugou asked as he stepped up to Izuku’s desk.

“One moment!” Izuku said, holding her hand up towards him, before it was back to her computer.

Bakugou sighed, looking at his watch and silently counting the time she took tabbing through windows, searching through resources, comparing her own notes and photocopies of others, and ripping off another page from her post-it notes and slapping it on her already overcrowded, mini-rotating signboard.

Izuku added a few more lines on her report alongside an annotation, before she finally turned to face Bakugou and asked, “Did you need something?”

“6 minutes, 37 seconds,” Bakugou said, lowering his watch.

Izuku blinked. “Pardon?”

“That’s how long your ‘one moment’ took.” Bakugou answered flatly.

“Oh,” Izuku said, frowning. “Sorry about that—it’s just--”

“You’re super busy with your report and it’s really important, I know, that’s what you’ve been saying ever since you finally got back to your desk,” Bakugou said. “You know, Deku, when Iida said you should stay in the office and take it easy for a while, I’m pretty sure he actually literally meant that.”

“But my report...” Izuku said, looking at her screen with a pained expression.

Bakugou sighed. “I’ll make you a deal: midnight, you stop working on that thing, log off, and call it a day. That sound fair to you?”

Izuku nodded. “Okay! Midnight, yeah, that sounds fair.”

“Great!” Bakugou said, smiling before he held out his watch to Izuku and tapped the face of it.

Izuku looked: 1:47 AM. She whipped her head to her computer, and looked at its clock: 1:53 AM.

“You going to back on your word, Deku?” Bakugou asked flatly.

Izuku sighed and saved her work, before she began to log off her computer. “No...”

Bakugou watched as she stood up from her desk, and immediately grabbed onto the edge, wincing in pain. “You haven’t stood up since the last time I checked on you, have you?” he asked.

“No,” Izuku mumbled, rubbing the backs of her thighs with one hand.

Bakugou paused, a realization coming over him. “Wait, shit, I’m not going to find a piss bottle if I look under your desk, am I?” he asked.

“What?! God no!” Izuku cried, wincing and furiously shaking her head. “I still made the effort to get up and go to the bathroom, Bakugou!” she snapped.

“And did you happen to make any stops at the vending machine, or the water cooler while you were at it?” Bakugou asked, looking at her long-empty coffee mug.

“… Ah, no...” Izuku said, looking sheepish. “I haven’t really felt thirsty or hungry for a while...”

Bakugou looked at her, and sighed heavily. “Get your Essentials, and don’t you dare try to sneak any of that work home; I’m going to go get the car ready, and I expect you at the garage in five minutes—not ‘one moment,’ five minutes,” he said, holding out the fingers of one hand. “Got it?”

Izuku sighed, and said, “Got it, just give me some to stretch and get the feeling back in my legs...”

“Fine,” Bakugou said as he turned around and headed off. “Try to stay near a wall or something solid, in case they give out on you again.”

Izuku made an affirmative noise.

The thought of personally escorting her to the car crossed Bakugou’s mind, before he shook it off; if Izuku was in such bad shape that she couldn’t even make it to the garage by herself, then they had much more serious problems to worry about. And so with that in mind, he took the stairs down, snatched his keys off its hook on the rack, and headed to their patrol car.

A little over five minutes later, Izuku walked up to the passenger side, and knocked on the window. “Bakugou…?”

Bakugou reached over and opened the door.

“Thanks,” Izuku said as she climbed in, clutching onto the top edge for support. “Are you taking me home?” she asked as she pulled it shut, then strapped herself in.

“Later,” Bakugou replied, strapping on his own seat belt, before he started the car. “You need food, and some time to unwind, otherwise you’ll probably be in your apartment all antsy and trying to find something to get the energy out.

“Speaking of which: how are things off-duty?” he asked as he began to back up.

Izuku looked surprised for a moment, before she looked down at her lap, and said, “Things are… decent, I guess; it’s gonna be a long while before I can say that things are back to normal...”

“You sleeping well?” Bakugou asked as he drove past most of the other parked cars.

“Kind of,” Izuku replied, shrugging. “It’s really more the night club hostess schedule, than anything else.”

“You sure about that?” Bakugou asked. “Nothing related to the clusterfuck that sent you there in the first place?”

“I’m sure, and I guarantee you, I’m not losing sleep over that, especially since we took him into custody, and are dismantling the rest of his little empire as we speak,” Izuku said firmly. “The hospital actually gave me some sedatives just in case, but they said I should try and do without them if I could, and I’m happy to report I can.”

Bakugou nodded as he slowed to a stop at the gate. “How about food? You eating right? And I don’t mean hitting up fast food places with ‘healthy’ options.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that, too,” Izuku replied as the light turned green, and the boom lifted. “I still haven’t found the energy nor the time to try cooking again, but there’s a convenience store just a block away from my place, and I can guarantee you it’s almost entirely like it would be back at Japan—all clean, healthy, and well-organized, if not nearly as cheap.”

“And how about relaxation and hobbies?” Bakugou asked as he drove back up to the street, cast a glance at Izuku before checking the sides of the road. “You haven’t been spending all of your free time off the job gorging on open case files, reports, and catching up with the news, have you?”

“… Reading the newspaper counts as a leisure activity…!” Izuku said.

“Depends: is it just that day’s news, or have you been working your way through every last major publisher’s archives from when you started your big undercover operation to today...?” Bakugou asked flatly.

Izuku didn’t answer, firmly planting her hands in her lap, quietly squirming from Bakugou’s gaze.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, until Bakugou sighed, turned his eyes back to the road, and drove off. Izuku turned and looked out the window, watching the buildings and the sights they were passing by.

“Hey, where are we going, exactly?” she asked.

“I already told you: some place where you can get dinner and let of steam before you buckle under all that pressure,” Bakugou replied.

A thought crossed Izuku’s mind, she turned to Bakugou and flatly asked, “This isn’t going to be a bar or a night club, is it…?”

“What? Fuck no!” Bakugou cried, before he groaned, got in line at a stopped intersection. “Look, Deku, I know how you might get the impression the only ways I know how to relax are beating the shit out of something or someone, or hard drinking and sex, but I know other, healthier ways.”

“Like what, exactly…?” Izuku asked.

“You’ll see,” Bakugou said. “Just let me drive in peace, will ya?”

Izuku didn’t look pleased, but nodded, and turned her head back out the window, wondering just what exactly Bakugou had in mind…

Eventually, Bakugou pulled into a mostly empty, bare-bones parking lot. Izuku looked around at the overgrown grass and trees, the worn signs, and the lampposts around them, before she turned back to Bakugou and asked, “Where are we?”

“One of the few ‘green spaces’ in this city that hasn’t been turned into another commercial hellhole, nor left to rot,” Bakugou said as he killed the engine. “Come on, let’s go, I still need to get this car back to the garage before the system has a hissy-fit,” he said as stepped out.

“Okay,” Izuku said as she got out, too, examining her surroundings as they walked up a concrete path.

The place wasn’t a particularly large park, the towering buildings and bright, flashing lights of the city still clearly visible everywhere you turned. It wasn’t all that well maintained, either, many of the trees and bushes looking overgrown, the pavement and grounds badly in need of a sweeping, and graffiti and presumably illegal posters and ads plastered on the lamp posts, the signs, and the one public bathroom. However, no one seemed to be doing any sort of illegal dealings or activities here, there were no signs of homeless camps, and the pond in the center of it all was still clean and clear, just a handful of patches of water lilies floating on the surface.

Bakugou lead Izuku to a small food cart, no paint, no sign, or decorations, just bare, aged metal, and a green and red striped awning. “Yoh! Two of the usual, with drinks!” he said, banging his hand on the metal counter.

The elderly, middle-eastern man inside put down his newspaper and said, “Yes, right away,” before he quickly pulled out a pair of tongs, flipped open some metal trays, and tossed some vegetables and pita wraps on a flat top.

The sound of sizzling vegetables, and the scent of aromatics filled the air, more pleasant smells joining in when Yoh poured out steaming, spicy/sweet tea from a coffee urn. Still, Izuku couldn’t help but warily examine the cart and its surroundings, the equipment and utensils Yoh was using, how he was preparing their food.

“Mr. Yoh, was it?” Izuku asked.

“That is my name, Miss,” Yoh said, nodding as he tossed the vegetables, flipped the wraps to toast their other sides.

“I feel I really must ask if you have a food service license, and if you do, why you aren’t displaying it somewhere prominent in your cart...” Izuku muttered.

“Because I don’t have one,” Yoh replied calmly. “A man’s work and reputation will speak volumes more than a piece of paper ever will.”

Izuku frowned. “But sir--”

Bakugou put a hand on her shoulder, she stopped. “Look, Deku,” he started, “the only other places that have real, decent food at agreeable prices are either closed already, or I don’t know where the fuck they are, nor how far they are from here. I’ve been eating Yoh’s food for a while now, and trust me, he’s legit, safety and quality wise. I made sure to ask around some nights to make sure that it just wasn’t my iron gut being used to questionable food, too.

“So would you please consider dropping your strict, rule-abiding standards for the moment?”

Izuku watched as Yoh filled and rolled up the pitas, wrapped them in clean, brown paper, before Bakugou paid for both. She started to formulate a speech about the importance of rules and safety standards, before her stomach audibly growled.

Bakugou grabbed one of the steaming hot wraps and cups of tea and held them out towards Izuku; she looked at them with mixed emotions playing out on her face, before she sighed, and took both into her hands.

Yoh smiled, his face wrinkling up dramatically. “Please, enjoy your meal,” he said as he pressed his hands together, and bowed.

“We will, thank you, sir,” Izuku said politely, before Bakugou lead her off again, to the pond nearby.

There were a handful of benches by the water, and as the only two people in the area, they were free to take the least scarred or damaged seating. Bakugou didn’t hesitate to rip open his food and take a huge chunk out of it, Izuku carefully unwrapped hers and took a much more careful approach, examining the filling and the pita wrap, before she finally bit into it.

“Mmm!” she hummed, her eyes widening. She chewed and swallowed, before she said, “This is actually pretty good!”

“Told ya to trust me,” Bakugou grumbled, bits and pieces of food falling out from his mouth.

The two of them spent a good half hour just eating and drinking, till they set their trash aside, sat on the bench and looked at the lights reflecting off the surface of the pond, silence but for the sounds of traffic nearby.

“Kacchan, why are you doing this...?” Izuku asked, breaking it.

Her tone and the expression she gave Bakugou wasn’t suspicious. It wasn’t playful or teasing. It was just curious, she was just asking him some innocuous, minor detail of a case.

It should have been easy to answer… and yet, the question hung in the air for a while, until Bakugou turned to her and said, “You need a break. I know you think you’re some kind of superhero, who’ll always be there to swoop in and save the day for the most unlucky and defenseless saps out there, but you’re not.

“You’re still human, just like the rest of us.

“You need to do things like eat real food and not convenience crap; sleep instead of trying to replace your blood with caffeine; and take a break from your job to de-stress, unload some of the weight on your shoulders, and remember that there’s a whole world out there where the daily reality isn’t dirty money; drugs, sex, and alcohol; and a never-ending, downward spiral of crime.

“I don’t want you to reach the point where your body just decides to up and quit on you because you wouldn’t, Deku. Because then, not only will you be completely useless to anyone, I’d bet everything that Iida would force me to come help take care of your sorry ass, or worse yet, you’ll have to quit this division permanently, and he’ll have to assign me a new partner.

“And trust me, after going through that whole song and dance with you, I’m going to be doing everything I can to keep from needing to ever do it again—even if it means having to save your sorry ass from yourself.”

Izuku slowly smiled. “I see,” she said quietly. “Thank you, Kacchan... I really appreciate your looking out for me.”

“Tch, thank me by remembering to take care of yourself every once in a while!” Bakugou said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m your police partner, not your babysitter. Think you can manage that, Deku?” he said as he looked back at her.

Izuku did not respond, on account of having fallen asleep sitting up.

Bakugou sighed. “And this is exactly the kind of shit I was hoping to prevent...” he muttered. He reached out to Deku, put a hand on her shoulder and tried to gently shake her awake; she ended up falling towards him, and her head pressed right into his chest.

She continued to sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware of what had happened, until Bakugou started yelling.

Izuku’s eyes shot wide open as she found herself nearly flung off into the grass, flailing her arms before she managed to hold onto the back of the bench. “Kacchan, what’s happened?! What’s going on?!” she cried, eyes darting around.

“Y-You passed out on me, dumbass!” Bakugou snapped, his face red.

“Oh, god, I did?” Izuku asked, blushing as she slowly pulled herself up.

“Yes!” Bakugou yelled as he shot up off his seat. “Come on, get up! I’m taking you home, before you conk out again, and it’ll be hours before I can even try to wake you up!” he said as he began to storm off.

“Okay...” Izuku said, standing up off the bench and following after Bakugou, before she stopped, turned around, scooped up their trash from earlier into her arms.

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” Bakugou snapped.

“It’s a public park!” Izuku shot back. “We all have to do our part to keep it clean!”

“Deku—oh, screw it, just don’t black out and fall into a trashcan or something when you dump that!”

From the warmth and safety of his cart, Yoh watched and listened to the commotion, smiling and shaking his head, before he returned to his newspaper.

Bakugou and Izuku made it back to the car without further incident, the hasty ride to the latter’s apartment was filled with obscenely loud music to help keep her awake; he pulled up right in front of it, before he killed the radio and the engine.

“You think you’re going to make it to bed alright, or do I need to carry you there, too?” Bakugou asked as Izuku undid her seatbelt.

“I think I’m good, thanks,” Izuku said as opened the passenger side door.

“You sure?” Bakugou asked as she started to climb out. “If something ends up happening to you, you just know whose ass Iida’s going to rail on tomorrow!”

“I’m sure!” Izuku said as she climbed out, before she grabbed onto top of the door and leaned back in. “Oh, and Bakugou?”

“What?” Bakugou asked testily.

Izuku smiled. “Good night, and thanks for everything again.”

Bakugou blinked and stared at her, surprised.

Thump.

Izuku shut the door, turned around, and started walking up to the front door of her building. Bakugou watched as she fished her keys out of her jacket’s inner pocket, unlocked it, and stepped inside, not even bothering to look back.

Bakugou sighed, turned back to the road as he started the car again. “What else did you think you were going to get, huh…?” he said to himself, before he turned the radio back on, and started driving back to the precinct.

Note: Please tell me if anyone seemed out of character, I'm not confident with my BNHA/MHA  writing skills.

[sandralgnzd]

MIAMI BEACH- A Place I Never Expect To Call My Second Home

It all started when I decided to have my work and training in USA. I have always wanted to work abroad; not just to earn money, but also to grow in different aspects. There’s no doubt that the USA is one of the leading countries worldwide, and I believe that I’ll get great opportunities once I step in this country.

I started my application last January of 2018. After a few months of processing necessary documents needed, I flew to the USA in June of the same year. I was so stoked of what were in store for me in that journey.

I flew straight to Atlanta, Georgia to visit my sister first. After travelling for roughly 26 hours from Manila, it was comforting to see my sister. I almost got teary eyed as I hugged her. I couldn’t blame myself, I traveled alone in a completely strange place, and will be in a new environment. She lived there for 2 years, and I honestly missed being with her. I stayed for a little over 4 days before starting my journey in Miami. I was hesitant to stop by Atlanta before reporting in the property that I’ll be having my training with. Good thing I listened to my family, my sister got me goodies that I needed to settle in my apartment. Hehe thanks, Ate!

Miami is a crazy city- one of the busiest cities in the states and top tourist destination. As soon as I knew the city I was going to, I started researching about it. I saw a lot of GREAT pictures, and I can say that those pictures did justice to the place. Yes, Miami is THAT beautiful.

South Beach Boardwalk

Key Biscayne

I started my J1 journey as a restaurant hostess for the first 4 months. I met a lot of nice guests along the way. I even met the nephew of Mother Lily Montenegro! At first glance I knew that he’s a Filipino, and I wasn’t wrong. He’s so nice, and I’m glad he had a great stay at Royal Palm. Going back, we had a training plan to follow as cultural exchange visitors. For every 3 months, we had to rotate positions within the department.

The property’s executive committees were checking on us and making sure we were having a great experience in the hotel. Three months into my training at the restaurant, our HR Director approached me and asked if I would be interested in other positions such as HR coordinator or Reservations coordinator. “Yes!”, I replied, “If given an opportunity it would be a great experience for me.”. Our HR director consulted this to the rest of the executive committee, and they have decided to open the position of Catering and Sales Specialist / Banquets Captain to me, as it was still related to Food and Beverage. And without hesitation, I accepted the job opportunity.

October 10, 2018- I officially became the new Catering and Sales Specialist. This time I told myself that this will be a new experience. I knew that this will not be easy, and will require high level of professionalism and critical thinking. I was very shy and soft-spoken when I started working in the office. You’ll just hear me say ‘Yes’ whenever something was asked of me. I won’t deny, I was scared of voicing out what was in my head. I was scared of giving suggestions or observations because I was afraid to make mistakes. Well, who would want to fail? I promised myself to learn as much as I can, and give every one with utmost respect.

Let me give you an overview of what were my duties and tasks as a Catering and Sales Specialist:

Always attend the 9am meeting with all the department heads, and report if the hotel has any group meetings / events of the day, and the status of in-house groups.

ALWAYS check e-mails and voice messages.

If there are any meetings or events during the day, make sure they have everything they need and fix whatever problem they have- it may be an issue with their sleeping room, meeting room, billings, food selections, etc.

ALWAYS BE ON THE FLOOR.

ALWAYS be on top of everything. Think ahead of time all the possible challenges that the event/meeting will encounter.

Prepare reports such as Group Resumes, Banquet Event Orders, Banquets Forecasts and Banquet Checks, Final Billing and Closing Log.

Be in touch with clients in detailing their incoming meetings/events in the property i.e., food selections, schedule of their programme/meeting, total number of people attending, if they have any dietary restrictions, table set up, audio/visual needs, and even decoration.

December to March is the high season in Miami. Some people in America are trying to stay warm on winter season, and have their Holidays in the Sunshine State. Indeed, in these times, Miami is packed with different tourist around the world. The historical Ocean Drive has different city-wide events especially this season. This only means that businesses are very much alive. Hotels are fully booked, restaurants have at least 15 minutes waiting time, bars and nightclubs are packed, and the streets are never empty. I bet you cannot imagine how busy it can get during these times.

ART BASEL 2018 [December]

SOBE Food and Wine Festival 2019 [February]

April to May 2019 were a little lighter. I was able to move freely as my mind was not that stressed out. During this time, I was able to go out more often, and see Miami as it is. Not like the first months when I was just focused on work and had a home-work-home routine. It took quite a long time for me to get out of my comfort zone, to be confident with what I do. Don’t get me wrong, ever since I started working in the office, I gave my all. I walked extra mile with anything that I did. I just wished I did it sooner, to believe in myself. Anyway, I really had a great experience in Royal Palm. I learned A LOT.

I admit, I got really excited to be transferred to another department and position. Little did I know, things will get pretty heavy. I got overwhelmed with how much work I had to do. Everything was new to me. I had a little experience with handling big groups and clients. To be honest, I felt like being thrown into the ocean without knowing how to swim. I’m so lucky that I was surrounded with a great team that helped me and taught me everything that I needed to know.

El Patio, Wynwood

El Patio, Wynwood

2018 Holiday Party, Royal Palm South Beach

Royal Palm South Beach

I had countless breakdowns, not to exaggerate but I had it almost every night. I also had panic attacks much often than it used to. One time I had a rough day at work, I started crying on my way home. I didn’t care if I was in a jam-packed bus, tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help it. As time goes by, I was able to cope up. One day I found myself handling all things by myself. However, things got pretty much hectic with work on the first quarter of the year 2019. I was usually off during weekends, but since January came, sometimes I only got Sunday off. That was fine. I mean, it’s included as overtime. Lol!

I remember being nominated as the Associate Star of the Month for the months of February and May. I didn’t expect being nominated, as I was struggling with work during those times. But it was really comforting to know that some people appreciated my hard work even when I thought no one saw it.

I got attached. Yes, deeply attached with Miami. I got to experience living away from home, being independent, paying my own bills, being responsible with the basic stuff. I had a freedom. My freedom. It felt good to decide whatever I wanted for myself, at least for a few months.

The beach was just a few steps away from my apartment. I love spending Sunday afternoons at the beach with a bottle of beer. Who would’ve thought that this lady would love the beach so much? Lol. The ocean witnessed every emotion that I felt in the duration of my stay. Whenever I was happy, I’ll be at the beach. Whenever I get sad, the moon and stars listened to my story. When I missed home, the wind caressed me. When I got broken, the cold breeze sympathized with me. And when I thought that I found love again, the ocean was the first to witness.

I wanted to stay, but I guess it’s not God’s plan for me. Who knows, maybe sooner or later I will be back again. I really hope so.

I had a lot of down times, not to add the homesickness I felt. But I thank my friends I made along the way. They helped me cope up, they cheered me up. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do if they were not beside me.

I am grateful to experience the Miami vibe!

’Til next time, Vice City!

[tiaraofsapphires]

Sunshine in My Hands- A Rebelcaptain Fanfic

For the Rebelcaptain May 4 exchange for @bluestockng who prompted “Kaytoo and Bodhi fight over who is ‘best man’ at the wedding”

Read on Ao3 here!

Jyn was in the middle of washing her face when someone knocked at the door.

She hoped she was mishearing—seriously, it was too early in the morning to talk to people—but another series of knocks, followed by the doorbell ringing told her that whoever was at the door wasn’t going to leave any time soon.

She stomped to the door, ready to give whoever ruined the quiet of her morning a piece of her mind.

A man, a couple years younger than Jyn with sandy hair and a smart uniform, stood at the door. Jyn blinked at the mass of yellow in a clear crystal vase in one of his hands and looked over the man’s shoulder to the van idling in the street across from her apartment. ‘Alderaan Floral Company’ was emblazoned on the side.

“Jyn Erso?” he said, glancing down at the clipboard.

“That’s me.”

He nodded, smiling cordially.

“Flowers for you. Please sign here.”

He held out a clipboard, which Jyn hadn’t noticed before.

“Ah, thank you.”

She took the clipboard out of his hands and signed the line marked with an X.

“I don’t need to pay, right?” she mumbled.

While this was a surprise, more welcome than not welcome, she definitely wasn’t planning on paying for anything before she left the apartment that morning.

“No, that’s already been taken care of.”

They exchanged what was in their hands, flowers for a clipboard.

It was a lot heavier than she thought it would be.

“Have a good day, ma’am,” the delivery man said, starting to turn away.

“Thanks, you too. What kind of flowers are these?” she asked, pointing at the smaller yellow flowers.

He turned to look at the bouquet in her hands, face twisting in thought.

“Ah, lilies. Astromera or something like that. Sorry, I’m new to the business.”

The man—his nametag said Luke on it—seemed apologetic, but Jyn had her stints in retail and could tell he was just being courteous and really probably didn’t care.

Jyn nodded.

“Okay, thanks.”

She shut the door at his retreated back, hands full of flowers. They didn’t particularly smell like anything, like the sterile inside of a flower shop or the flower section of a grocery store.

Her first instinct was to think that they were from Cassian. It was only slightly out of character for her fiancé to do something like that. He was a soft romantic, deep down, whether he liked it or not.

But these were lilies. Large yellow lilies with smaller lilies with petals pink and yellow. Cassian was always a rose kind of guy. And he would’ve given them to her personally, followed with a kiss or dinner or sex.

He had already left for work—damn investigators and their hours—and wouldn’t be back for a while.

She carried them to the kitchen and set them on the dining room table.

They were bright, almost out of place in the neutral colors of the apartment.

She rotated it, looking for a card and finding it nestled in the mass of yellow.

There was a short message in curly typed script.

To the bride-to-be. Have a good day. ~Bodhi

Jyn’s eyes immediately found the delicate band on her hand as her eyebrows crept to her hairline in surprise.

Okay. Weird.

Jyn liked Bodhi Rook. He was a shy, honest man, one of Cassian’s coworkers and his good friend. She—secretly not so secretly—liked him way more than she liked Kay, Cassian’s other good friend and partner.

Bodhi never showed interest in her other than a strictly platonic sort of way.

The fact that he addressed her as ‘bride-to-be’ didn’t stop this from looking kind of suspicious. What man sends flowers to an engaged woman unless it was romantic or someone died or she did something for him?

Aside from the normal things that one does to be a decent person, Jyn couldn’t think of a reason why Bodhi would send her flowers.

Maybe he was asking for forgiveness for something. She couldn’t recall anything that Bodhi had done to her, intentionally or not, to warrant delivering a bouquet of flowers.

Sighing, she typed into her phone, keeping in mind that soon she needed to leave to go to work. She hadn’t even had breakfast yet and there she was looking up flowers, for Christ’s sake.

‘Meaning of yellow flowers’

The first couple of results said the same thing, even listing some kinds of yellow flowers. And the little yellow and pink flowers were called alstroemeria, not ‘astromecha’ or whatever that Luke kid told her.

“Friendship and devotion, eh?” Jyn mumbled to herself.

So, these were ‘just friends’ flowers? He shelled out likely more than thirty dollars just to say they were friends and to congratulate her on her engagement, over two months after the fact?

Jyn shook her head, took one last whiff of the flowers, and went back to getting ready for work.

…

Jyn was treated to the sound of Saw gruffing and growling over the media coverage of one of their clients as soon as she walked in the door.

A strange tickle clung to the back of her throat, her nose running ever so slightly, but she put it out of mind, as with the flowers. It was getting cold in the city and Jyn never went a winter season without getting cripplingly sick.

Better now than in 4 months when there was the actual wedding.

It was a running joke in the office, how a public defender and an investigator met, did a lot of arguing, and managed to get hitched.

Saw initially hadn’t been too keen on the idea, both as Jyn’s practically adoptive father and as her boss.

When Jyn made it abundantly clear that this was what she wanted, he got over it.

But, it didn’t mean Saw didn’t like to needle and glower at Cassian every time Cassian was around.

When she got home hours later, Cassian’s ridiculous parka—it had been cold the past several days in the city which gave Cassian the excuse to look reminiscent of a marshmallow—already hung from the hook near the door and she could smell that he was cooking.

“Hey, babe. You’re early,” Jyn called out.

“Thought I’d surprise you with dinner.”

She rounded the corner to see Cassian, still in his work slacks and button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was stirring something in a pot, which she could only assume was a stew of some kind.

“I see you got flowers,” he said, gesturing at the vase sitting on the table.

Jyn hummed and she went to pick up the vase and set it on the kitchen counter.

“Yep. Guy delivered them when I was getting ready for work.”

“They look—nice. Who sent them?” Cassian said, eyeing the flowers. Jyn looked up to see the vaguely annoyed and almost suspicious expression on his face.

Obviously, he didn’t look close enough to see the card still attached to the flowers.

Jyn sighed, closing the gap between them and pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek.

“It’s not from some secret admirer, dummy. I only have eyes for you.”

Cassian didn’t look totally convinced, though his countenance softened a bit. It was another thing his colleagues liked to tease him about, the near-adoring way he looked at Jyn. Totally unlike the hard-hitting investigator who always seemed incapable of smiling.

“Bodhi sent the flowers. Any idea why?”

He blinked, thoughts clearly rolling in his head for a moment. Realization dawned so quickly it was almost comedic. Cassian groaned, resting his face in his hands.

“Christ.”

“What?”

He sighed, looking a bit guilty.

“Bodhi and Kay both want to be best man.”

Jyn couldn’t help but grin. Yeah, the wedding was coming up in a few months. Leia was the obvious choice for her maid of honor, but Cassian had options. And Cassian always made it seem that it was a no-big-deal, noncompetitive kind of decision between his two coworkers. Like a coin-toss or something.

“They’ve been doing me all these little favors for me the past week or so while I make a decision and it’s been driving me nuts,” Cassian continued.

Jyn asked, “So, this is a bribe?”

Oh, this was too good. She was getting free stuff because her fiancé couldn’t make a decision.

Cassian pouted.

“He technically should be bribing me, seeing as I am the final say.”

Jyn smiled indulgently.

“But I’m sure if I gave my input it would sway your decision. Hence, the flowers.”

Cassian shrugged.

“You already lean towards Bodhi. You don’t like Kay because of that beef you have with him.”

“Beef?” Jyn raised her voice, hands coming up to plant on her hips.

It was less a beef and more of a feeling of animosity that clung between them since they first met.

“Alright,” Cassian amended, “you don’t like him that much and the feeling is mutual. But, I swear, he has nice things to say when you’re not listening.”

Jyn wasn’t convinced. Unless he had video evidence, she would always assume Kay hated her guts, whether she was present or not.

“But he will give bullshit odds to how long it will take for you to divorce me to my face.”

“I told him off about that!” Cassian said, taking his turn to be indignant.

She wrinkled her nose comically. She knew she could trust Cassian to defend her honor when she couldn’t do it herself (which were only the times she wasn’t in the room).

They were not going to get divorced within a year, fuck you, Kay.

“That you did. And I appreciate that.”

Cassian plucked one flower out of the vase and twirled it absent-mindedly, watching the petals spin.

She watched him, the lines and angles of his face. He hadn’t been sleeping much, again, evident in the shadows under his eyes. Jumping his bones the night before probably didn’t help, keeping him up for a good couple of hours, but he wasn’t complaining when she yanked down his pants and made him moan and forget the hellish day he had at work, if just for a little while.

There was that little crinkle in his brow that he always got when he was deep in thought as he stared at the flower in his hands. Jyn loved smoothing her thumb over it, drawing him out of whatever intense thoughts he might have.

He curled the stem and reached out to her.

Jyn smiled softly, getting close enough so he could rest the flower over the curve of her ear. His hand skimmed over and down her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

“Flirt,” she replied, moving around him to look inside the pot.

Several minute later, after a mix of conversation and companionable silence, they found themselves sat across from each other, eating a warm meal. The vase of flowers sat between them, the flower still in Jyn’s hair.

There was an itch in the corner of her eye, which she tried to blink away. But it stuck.

Rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands felt heavenly for a few moments, only for the itchiness to return.

She turned her focus back to her plate and to Cassian, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

Cassian was halfway through a story about Baze almost destroying the office printer with his bare hands when she started sneezing.

The first one wasn’t anything to be concerned about. Cassian just quietly said ‘bless you’ and continued with his story.

The second got her another ‘bless you’, this time with a concerned expression.

A third, a fourth, a fifth pass, Jyn swaying with the force of each, spittle flying into her cupped hand. Jyn couldn’t find the time to be disgusted with herself before she sneezed again.

Her eyes itched and wept and her nose ran and what the fuck was wrong with her?

“Jyn.”

Her eyes cracked open—she didn’t remember closing them—to see Cassian holding out a tissue box.

“Are you okay?”

“N—no I’m fine,” she said, right before sneezing into the tissue.

The flower sitting on her ear fell into her lap.

“Jyn, your eyes and nose are red.”

She thought about making a smart comment, but she was too busy wiping her runny nose.

God, it wasn’t fair. All she wanted was to eat a nice dinner with her fiancé and then take him to bed. Apparently, that was too much to ask.

“Pleasetellmewehaveallergymedicationorsomething,” Jyn rambled, barely able to get the sentence out before she sneezed again.

…

“I didn’t know you were allergic to lilies.”

Jyn rolled over to face Cassian where he sat on the bed. The flowers had been set on the balcony, neither of them having the heart to just throw them out.

“I didn’t know either,” Jyn sniffed.

He pushed a couple strands of hair away from her face and she swatted half-heartedly at him.

“Just do a coin-flip. If this is how their fighting for place as best-man’s going to be like, I don’t think I’ll survive to the wedding.”

“You’re being overdramatic.”

Jyn lifted her head to fix him with a baleful glare.

She probably looked like a mess with her red nose and watery eyes. And, yes, she was being a bit overdramatic, but her Tuesday evening had been ruined, so she allowed herself some leeway.

“A coin-flip,” Jyn repeated, a bit more forcefully. “Before Kay sends me chocolates or some shit like that and suddenly I’ll develop an allergy and die.”

Cassian didn’t look convinced. Honestly, sometimes the guy was too nice for his own good. Jyn knew he liked both of his friends and probably didn’t want to hurt any feelings.

And in the end, the choice wasn’t that big a deal. Both Kay and Bodhi would be at the altar, just one a bit closer to Cassian and with a fancier corsage. And they were both likely to get balls-to-the-wall drunk during the bachelor party.

“Please, Cassian. For your poor ailing fiancée.”

She kept her face as the picture of abject misery as she stared him down.

A small sigh from Cassian’s mouth told her she won.

Jyn watched as he hauled himself out of bed, looking very soft and domestic with his bare feet, loose sleep pants and t-shirt as he walked to their shared dresser.

Cassian poked around the top drawer for a moment before returning to sit next to Jyn, holding up a quarter for her to see.

“Heads Bodhi, tails Kay?”

“Fine.”

He placed the quarter on his thumb and flipped it, caught it as it came down and slapped it on the back of his hand.

The two of them looked when he uncovered the quarter.

“It’s tails.”

“Fuck!” Jyn spat. “Not fair.”

“Hey, you came up with the rules.”

Jyn shook her head.

“No, no, not happening. Best two out of three.”

Cassian shook his head. “No, Jyn.”

“Yes, Cassian.”

“Jyn.”

“Cassian.”

They stared each other down until Jyn made it clear she wasn’t budging. They both knew that she would keep them up all night once she got her mind set on something.

“Fine!” Cassian sighed, nudging Jyn when she looked too smug for his tastes.

The next flip had them both holding their breaths.

Tails again.

“Dammit.”

Jyn fell back to the bed with a thump.

Well, that settled it. And she couldn’t ask best five of seven without truly irking Cassian.

She could see it now: the too-tall blond-haired man in a tux standing next to Cassian as she walked down the aisle. She wondered if Kay would find it in his cold robotic heart to at least look like he was happy for the two of them.

“It could be worse, I guess,” Jyn grumbled.

“Yeah. Could be Draven.”

Jyn couldn’t help the noise of disgust. Now, if there was anyone who disliked Jyn more at Cassian’s work than Kay, it was Cassian’s boss.

“Point. Keep him as far from me as possible. If the asshole even shows up for the wedding.”

“Will do. And no lilies as decorations.”

“Fuck you.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Jyn scoffed. “Ask me again when my entire face doesn’t feel swollen.”

Cassian chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Alright. Jyn Andor.”

Jyn smiled despite herself. She loved thinking about Cassian standing at the end of the aisle, clean and pressed in his tux, waiting for her.

Yeah, it could be worse.

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x17 recap

(Aka the one where Jane and Oliver get kidnapped)

Or in short: Oliver proves how not-great he is under pressure; Jane is badass and manages to ensure the survival of not only herself and her bumbling non-boyfriend, but also a couple of innocent kids, because that’s just how awesome she is; Weller utilises every anger-management tactic he’s ever learned and still ends up blowing his gasket bc he doesn’t deal well when his wifey is at risk; Reade reaches new levels of stupidity; Patterson and Tasha are both badass despite being in severe need of a hug; and lil orphaned puppy Roman finally gets to go home with his loving family. 

So basically, this was a kickass episode and I have a lot of thoughts about it.

Enjoy.

Okay literally my first thought is 'thank god the clothes stayed on'. The second thought is more of a smug belief-- and that’s that this is the only bed Jane and Oliver will ever share, bc lbr, this thing was 100% doomed before it even began. No relationship can work when one person within it already has a soulmate, especially when they see said soulmate just about every single day, and are still secretly in love with them. (And the soulmate still loves them too). Like seriously, boy, you never stood a chance. But anyhow, I like that Jane's tranq puncture-site is on the right side of her neck, bc I'd feel kinda sad if they stabbed the bird. I really hope we get to find out the bird's significance someday. I vaguely remember Oscar mentioning something about it at some point (something to do with freedom? Or was that in a  fic?) but I still just want a clear answer. But anyhow, I'm off track again. Both of them seem like they have a thumping headache rn, though Oliver's seems to be worse (or more likely, Jane's just tougher than he is) and it pleases me to think that he's suffering a little for this. After all, he did get poor innocent Jane pulled into his shit. Tbh I also appreciate him getting zapped by the door, Thanks, writers. You know what’s important to me.

Okay so Reade's interaction with Nicki's kid is possibly the best moment he's had in like six episodes?? "No, but that's a cool fact buddy" lol. Damn that is one cute kid. And woah Nicki is looking so clean-cut and professional rn?? And her apartment is so nice and she seems like a good mom and she tells Reade that the partying is a rare thing for her and that they can't see each other anymore and wow I feel like an ass for the assumptions/judgements I made about her character. I'm realising now that in some ways she might actually be too good for Reade... or at least, how he is in his current state. Although damn look at that height difference, that fact alone kinda makes me want to ship them a little bit haha 

As for people that I most definitely do NOT ship, Weller and Nas have met in the conference room at the crack o' dawn, and lol I love his sassy "What the hell am I doing here?" That’s a good question, bud. If you were a little quicker with getting your shit together in regards to Jane (I'll give you a hint: start by telling her how you feel, then KISS HER), you probably would have been snuggled up in bed with her rn and neither of you would be having these problems now. But sigh. We're not there yet. Emphasis on the ‘yet’, bc it’s definitely coming. And then they will be. But anyway lbr if Oliver got kidnapped alone, everyone would be pretty 'meh' about it, and that's not exactly a thrilling episode. But to answer Weller’s original question: Devil Lady has found some files that belonged to the Sandstorm fixer that didn't get destroyed, and wants to show them to him. You know, it's kinda weird. Nas has been actually more tolerable again recently-- it's like she goes through cycles or something. She's like a planet, steadily rotating, light side then dark side then back again. Tbh if I had to pick a planet for her, it'd be Pluto, because it's very small and cold and belongs as far away as possible. But anyhow, apparently she found out that Roman had gone to the Bahamas a few years back to go to a fancy bank and get millions from a trust fund. So if that money went to Sandstorm, maybe they can track it. And basically the only part of this news I care about is the fact that it means Weller and Roman will be interacting more in this ep yaaaaaaaaay

Sigh my little Patterson, hovering anfd fidgeting as she waits for Dr Sun. "I just wanted to talk to you"/"Yes, that's what appointments are for" hehe okay maybe I appreciated that one, Dr Sun, but this doesn't mean I like or trust you. Patterson has apparently decided she's done with therapy now that Borden is dead, and I may not like Dr Sun (and I'm pissed that she told Patterson her headaches were psychosomatic), but she makes a very good point about the bug being another violation into her life and body by Borden/Sandstorm and ugh my poor baby keeps telling everyone she's fine and that she feels nothing but it's all a facade and soon she's gonna crack and ugh I just miss my carefree lil pumpkin who giggled and kissed David in a library and ugh it's just all very upsetting

Lol so Oliver's all panicky and looking to Jane-- who, remember, he still has no idea is a super soldier-- to tell him what's going on and what to do and wow man there's really not much backbone in there at all, is there? Yet another reason why he and Jane would never work; his soft, lily-white hands and her strong, callused ones just don't fit. Hers and Weller's, though... But anyway yes of course I know that strength and ruggedness etc are not really requirements for a good partner, but I think they're a necessity in Jane's case specifically. She spends all her time being a pillar of strength-- she needs someone that she can be on even footing with, someone who will support her and have her back just as she has his. And hmmm, strange, this is actually sounding familiar... who does she have that kind of connection with......? But anyhow, back to the man of the (very, very fleeting) moment. He's doing a lot of face-scrunching as Jane apologises to him for causing this, for having enemies etc. And while she's trying to plan, to work out solutions, he's being ridiculously unhelpful-- until he accidentally reveals that he knows where they are, and ooooh boy, you're seconds away from turning from a figurative dead weight to a literal one. She shoves him into a wall (awww, she and Weller even have the same moves lol) and mmmm yep this is much more the kind of physical contact I prefer to see between them. She looks like she's considering roughing him up a little more (I may or may not have yelled "Kick his ass, Jane!"), when a voice comes over the speakers, referring to him as Oliver Steele (okay literally are we in a comic book right now? Because he's apparently gone from a name that implies coldness and inhumanity to the name 'Kind' and I'm sorry I'm a little dizzy from all my eye-rolling). But anyhow he's ordered to stand in front of the camera and recite the message they've left for him, one Jane grabs and reads while he's still pressed against the wall like he's afraid to move haha. Turns out his father is a big-time thief/embezzler and now he's gotta pay back what he stole in order to save Oliver and Jane's lives. Let's hope he hasn't spent it all haha. Turns out the place they're in used to be Oliver's family's holiday house when he was a kid, but unfortunately he doesn't know the address, which surprises me, bc he's usually always so useful and reliable *snorts*. Also lol they said he grew up in Sydney-- the casting people do know that Australian and New Zealander accents are different, right? He'd never pass for a native Sydney-sider. But aaaaaaanyway. Also wow what a shady jerk, he tries to evade the truth by saying maybe they've asked for the ransom just bc his dad was rich. (Not Rich, bc that'd be weird and also pretty much impossible). Also I never realised Oliver was an accountant?? That's just so... white-collar. And dull, at least when compared with being a super secret agent. Yet more reason why these two would literally never work. "How was your day honey?" "Oh I just stopped a terror attack that would have wiped out half of Manhattan. What about you?" "....I did calculations with a ton of digits in them". Yeah, nah. No-go. Luckily for Mr Panicky, Jane already has a plan underway, because nobody but Weller is allowed to giver her orders and expect them to actually be followed lol

Speaking of Jane's 'supervisor', he's down with Nas and Roman in the cell, showing him the picture of him at the bank-- which is enough to trigger a memory of him signing the paperwork at the bank, withdrawing money from a trust belonging to someone that died. And while he doesn't remember who it was, he knows that he probably killed them for it. And ugh he calls himself a monster, because so many of his memories involve killing, and ugh Weller tells him he's not that person anymore-- and when Roman questions how he could know that, he tells him that he watched Jane go through the exact same thing. There was a brief time where Weller believed Jane was a monster, but he knows the truth now, knows that she is good without a single shadow of doubt in his mind. Whatever she did-- whoever she was-- in her Sandstorm life means nothing, because she isn't that person anymore. She's Jane, his Jane, and he would trust her not only with his life, but the lives of everyone he loves. And he wants to be the same for her; wants her to know that he'd do anything for her. And so he starts by becoming an advocate for Roman, developing a connection with him and supporting him. In the last few days he's sparred with him, taken him out into the field, brought him beers in his cell and just hung out, and now is reassuring him that he sees the good in him. You can see him truly starting to care for Roman, maybe even feel a kinship with him bc of how easily Kurt could have been the one Shepherd took under her wing and brainwashed-- she had access to him at his most vulnerable time, and if her plan had involved recruiting him then, it probably would have worked. So there's all that going on, and plus, I think he also just kinda likes Roman? Genuinely? Which is lucky bc you boys got a lot of shared family holidays ahead of ya, just sayin'

Anyways back in the Cabin In The Woods, where Jane has found a penny to unscrew the camera cage, then smash it in with a lamp, knowing that the captors will have to come get them if they want Oliver to make that demand video. And Oliver is all confused and a little frightened by her badassery (again, he clearly can't handle a strong woman) and she explains that she used to be a criminal, but isn't anymore, and ugh I am so proud of her and the fact that she openly takes responsibility for all the wrong she has done, but also states with such conviction that she's no longer that person. Ugh, Jane knowing and believing that she's a good person... look how far my baby's come. And the fact that Weller helped her to believe it.... ugh. My beautiful supportive soulmate babies. But anyway lol she gives Oliver the lamp (bc lbr he'd be completely useless without a weapon) and then takes on three armed captors by herself while he just stands inthe background. Looks like he's completely useless even WITH a weapon. And then hahahaa the boss guy "guess it was a mistake to take the girl". Yeah, you sure got that right buddy haha

Ooooohh Reade has been called into the principal's office, uh-ohs... and ugh poor Zapata is watching so anxiously from her desk and you just know Reade is going to be pissed about this, even though she gave him very clear and fair warning, and she did it for his own good. And ugh for a start all Weller says is that she told him Reade was going through some stuff, and for a second I thought that maybe she'd just said he was over-stressed and needed to be given some vacation time, but then Weller brings up the drugs and ugh he's trying so hard to protect Reade, to get him help without suspending him or putting anything on his record, and he even comes around and sits on the edge of the desk so there's not that 'separation' between them-- not boss and employee, but friends, brothers-- and ugh he's being so gentle and trying to offer help, and suddenly Reade is throwing it back in his face, exploding up from his chair, and Weller is on his feet so fast bc he's got to be prepared in case this gets physical, and ughhhhh he keeps trying to bridge the gap, reaching out as a friend-- but Reade cuts him off and tells him that they're not friends, or family, just coworkers, and ughhhhhhhhh you can see that that really hurts Weller? He cares about Reade, and to him, they WERE like family. And of course he feels like he's failed as their leader-- he should have seen this storm brewing and helped defuse it before it was anything more than a couple of grey clouds, but he's been so tied up with his own issues (which, to be fair, have been numerous and rather big) that he hasn't been holding his team together like he should. And I'm completely certain that Reade has referred to himself as Weller's friend before, which means that that friendship has been lost, and poor Weller didn't even know it was happening. UGHHHH. And ugh he's still trying to help Reade even though he's starting to get angry at Reade for being so awful, and oh Weller "I'm doing everything in my power not to fire you" ughhh he's STILL trying to protect him and then ugh stupid Reade just quits and storms out and part of me wants to say "So long, asshole!!" because of how he's treated the others, but I know they'll be sad woithout him so I hope he comes back. Tho lbr, we do know that someone dies soon... I mean it's not impossible that they're distancing Reade and making him unlikeable so that it's easier for the viewers to swallow if he does die. But ugh I hope that's not the case. Ugh the team needs Jane's sweet comforting nature more than ever rn tbh

Lol it's fairly telling when someone asks if your father was a good parent and the best you can come up with is 'he was fine' haha. But then ughh noooo this boss guy lost his daughter bc Oliver's dad stole all her money and destroyed her business, and ugh okay I do feel really bad for him. But while I could roll with his kidnapping plan if it was all a bluff, I can't be on his side if he's going to kill innocents as retribution for the actions of others. That's not how justice works, that's not how any of this works! But ugh my clever Jane uses the ploy of comforting a trembling Oliver (lbr this guy was totally a rabbit or something in another life, whereas Jane was clearly a big cat of some kind. A mountain lion, maybe. Weller was a bear, in case anyone was wondering). But ugh anyway she's so smart, ensuring that her very, very distinctive arm is in the shot so that the team would know she was there when they saw it (lbr Weller would have recognised it even without the tatts). Also uh oh, the kidnappers also have someone else captive?? Plot twiiiist

Lol when Patterson shows the video, I love that Zapata instantly recognises Oliver as the guy Jane's been dating (well, I guess she did just look up his background check a couple of days ago lol) and Weller's staring at the screen like he doesn't know how to feel-- on one hand he's not exactly a fan of Oliver, but on the other, he knows Jane cares about the guy and it would hurt her if something happened to him, and also Weller's a protector by nature so he would never want to see an innocent person hurt. But still. And then Jane's hand enters the frame and I feel like Weller's brain goes into a momentary shutdown, like the 'PROTECT JANE' alarm bells are instantly shrieking inside his head and ugh his voice sounds so mechanical when he says that she's there too, like he's got to keep himself locked down super tight or he'll snap and start smashing things. And then they find the video of the kids, and so now they have four people to rescue from two separate locations-- and saving one pair might endanger the other, meaning that to save their teammate and friend (and for one of them, their soulmate) could lead to the death of two kids. But rescuing the kids first could mean losing Jane forever. Prisoner's dilemma, indeed. The mother of the kids has apparently gone off-grid, so Tasha takes responsibility for tracking her down. Nas will decrypt the videos with Patterson, who asks if Reade's in yet-- and Weller just says he's not coming in today. Even though he has already been in, and out. I wonder if Tasha knows that he actually quit? Maybe she just thinks Weller suspended him. Did Weller have time to tell her? 

But anyway ugh Weller's first thought (or second, after MUST SAVE JANE) was to go to Roman, to let him know so he wouldn't be in the dark about the threat to his sister. And Roman is like ‘are you telling me bc you want me to do something?’ And Weller just tells him that he had the right to know and ughhhhhhhh no one in the world loves Jane as much as these two men do and tbh I think Weller really needed this moment with Roman? Like even if they didn't mention how much Jane means to them both, it would mean a lot just knowing he was in the room with someone who was suffering like he was, who couldn't bear to lose her either. Roman is so shaken as he thanks Weller and honestly Weller looks like he's nearly in tears. I wonder if he's looking at Roman and wondering if he's going to become the only link Weller has left to the woman he loved and lost? And then ugh he doesn't need to comfort Roman rn, but still he comes and sits down with open body language, putting them on the same level and being open with him, and tells him that everything he did in the past was under Shepherd's orders, and that maybe she was the only one who was the monster. Which Roman can't quite believe just yet but I hope maybe one day he will. And then ugh "Jane's the only family I have left. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her" and UGHHHH you can just see the understanding in Weller's eyes. He doesn't know either, because he's already barely survived losing Jane once-- and that time, at least he had his anger to fuel him, to keep him from facing how he really felt. But this time... this time, he wouldn't survive it. Which is why he tells Roman that they'll find her. He'll find her and get her out alive, or he’ll die trying. 

I'm a bit iffy on the whole "I've known those kids since they were in preschool" thing. Hasn't his dad been missing for years? One of those kids only looked like ten, so why would he not know them before his dad left but definitely know them after? But anyhow, he and Jane are now unable to escape without risking the kids' safety. But Jane's always been clever, and able to think outside the box. They were told not to escape, but no one said anything about calling for help... Also ugh the way she calls them "my team". That's right, honey, they ARE your team. Your family. They will come for you, just like you would come for them. And lol when she says FBI, he's like "Who are you??" And it's like, well, she's FBI. She just told you that. Ooooh things are getting kinda rocky between them now that they're realising how little they actually knew each other, and how little of themselves that they trusted the other with. This pairing was doomed from the start, but I think it has just now officially gone up in smoke. And so, appropriately, they're headed up the chimney (honestly I'm surprised that Oliver made it haha) and ugh they'd just reached a phone in the room above when they were busted. Also okay I'm familiar with fireplaces (I grew up in a renovated 120 year old cottage) but I'm not familiar with fireplaces in multiple-storey homes (again, bc of the cottage, and also bc the vast majority of Australian houses are single storey bc we have so much room to spread out). But anyhow surely you can't scale a chimney from one floor to another? I need a fireplace expert haha. And so anyway, the two of them are marched downstairs at gunpoint, with Oliver noticing a house being watched on a videofeed before he's shoved forwards. Oooh, is he going to actually make himself useful for once?

Weller's actually doing a pretty good job keeping cool, tbh. Tho maybe he just smashed a few things before walking into the lab. They've located the grandmother of the kids, who was called by the dad, and who they think is going to pay the ransom so that the mother doesn't get arrested for stealing all that money. Damn, why did they even need to steal it if the grandma was already that loaded? Also how much total was stolen from the firm? Bc if they said 200 total, then obviously each conspirator would only have a portion. And plus they stole the money years ago, I'm sure most of t is gone by now. But anyway, unimportant.

Boss guy's second in command (Aka the Freddie Mercury wannabe) plops Oliver and Jane down on the couch and then conveniently gathers his team around him to be screamed at, giving Oliver the opportunity to tell Jane about the house he saw and where it is. Then Freddie gets grumpy and pokes them with his big gun until they’re quiet lol. But too late, bud. Jane has already hatched her plan, and spoiler alert, it’s not gonna work out well for you...

Okay this lady's glasses are tripping me out. She looks like a human-insect hybrid that's bleeding from its tear ducts. Which I'm assuming is not the look she was going for. But with that aside, the main take away from this moment is that Oliver's father is in Switzerland... and also dead. Well, that is certainly somewhat of a setback. Also ugh I love how quiet Weller is being? Like I feel like he let Zapata take the lead here bc all his energy is focused on not exploding into a mini supernova of worry and fear and rage. So he sits there and keeps the lid on tight, silently simmering, drawing on every ounce of calm and focus that he has. When Patterson confirms Magnus' death and Zapata starts to crack a little (ugh the emotion in her voice as she says 'so we have nothing', someone hold me) he holds strong, reminding them that they've bought a little time by preventing the woman from paying her ransom, and that the baddies don’t know Magnus is dead. All is not lost yet.  

Meanwhile Boss guy is shaking his head at Jane and Oliver like a disappointed parent, though tbh I'm kinda more distracted by one of his henchmen who is off to Jane’s right and holding a big gun, bc damn, this guy is fiiiiiiiiiine. I really hope he's not going to die. Anyway Jane smoothly lies that they were looking for a phone, not to call for help, but to call Magnus, bc lbr the dude is a baby boomer or above and so probably doesn't hang on YT watching cat videos in his spare time. (Or videos of engines on vehicles and heavy duty agricultural equipment, like some of the male nurses at my work do. Weird, I know). But her ruse works, and he lets Oliver call his dad's old number-- and he does, looking all like 'uhhhhhhhhhh what do I do nowwww' as he does so. And then Jane yanks it off him and tells Magnus he needs to pay the ransom, while also dropping a whole bunch of Sandstorm keywords into the conversation, knowing that it would be flagged by Nas' technology. And almost like he was drawn to her voice, (okay or more likely he was the first one informed about the call, but whatever) Weller enters the lab with Roman in tow, earning a lot of confused looks and a generous amount of awkward silence before Nas tries to intervene. But Weller ain't having nobody's shit today, and just firmly says that Roman is staying up there with them. And so the whole team-- plus its newest member-- listen in on the message, and realise that the latter part of it sounds kind of odd; it's a message using the first letter of each word-- SAVE KIDS AT WHITESHORE. Roman wants them to wait til they know Jane's location so they can save both teams at once, but Weller trusts his wifey, and she said to go after the kids. So no matter how much it terrifies him to put her at risk, he’ll do what she asked. He and Tasha will go save the kiddos while Patterson and Nas try to find Jane, and Roman goes back to his cell to sit and wait and stew. Sigh, my poor boy, I would hug you if I could

Back in the cabin fever, Jane tells Oliver that he needs to be ready to run when she tells him to, once they know the kids are safe. And ugh I just love how much faith she has in the team. She knows they won’t fail to understand her message or to rescue the kids. Meanwhile Oliver is all 'we can't, it's too dangerous!' and she's just like 'bitch, please' lol. Come on bro, grow a set. You can do it. Meanwhile Weller and Tasha and a whole squad burst into the house where the kids are being kept, killing all the armed captors. Tasha comforts the kids and brings them out (tbh I'd happily be rescued by her anyday) while Weller's iron control finally snaps, and he kicks a guy to the floor and roars at him to tell him where the other hostages are. Clearly the guy upstairs at the cabin watching the monitor notices the commotion, though, because he radios down to the others-- which is all the signal Jane needs. She shouts at Oliver to run, then yanks an old wooden ski off the wall and beats the crap out of their captors with it. Oliver is rabbiting, just as he was ordered-- but he runs into another baddie, and then said baddie ends up running into some very spiky antlers mounted on the wall. If it was his house, I would say that that had a kind of ironic justice to it, with him being killed by an animal that he himself killed (I'm not a fan of hunting unless it's purely for meat, and displaying any sort of animal trophy is something I'm really against, but hey, that’s just a personal preference) but it's not his house, so that's irrelevant. Jane takes her opponent out with a fire poker (I love that the guy she fought went down after one hit but the woman kept fighting) and then she finds Oliver still staring at the impaled guy. They rush for the door, only to come face to face with the boss guy and Freddie and a couple of randoms. Seemingly not the hottie, though, which sucks. Boss guy is about to kill Oliver, but Jane saves him by convincing him that Magnus will never care about a lost child in the way that he does, and that his daughter wouldn’t have wanted him to become a murderer. And ugh it wooorks and the guy decides to let them go-- except then damn Freddie shoots him in the back, and takes over the operation, demanding money or he'll kill Jane. Oliver desperately offers him the money from his charity-- about $50M-- but they have to go to the headquarters to make the transfer because of some failsafe requiring two boardmembers. Jane gives him an approving nod, and quickly scratches the charity's logo into the leather couch with the sharp edge of her ziptie. Pretty damn neat for something drawn behind one's back, but hey, it's Jane, and she can do pretty much anything, so I'll allow it. 

Aah Pluto-Nas is being all light-side again which is super confusing. Why is she being so nice to Roman? Is it just bc the writers wanted him to say the "I belong in here" line and Weller couldn't be in this scene so they just went for Nas instead? I literally do not get why she actually looks sad for him though ugh. What is going onnnnnnn she just keeps spinningggggg and I don’t know what she waaaaaantsssss

Oooh Weller and Tasha have reached the cabin, though everyone has gone and the place has been thoroughly cleaned up. Eagle-eye Tasha spots the mark Jane left behind though (yeah, girl!), showing Weller and telling him it's the logo for Oliver's charity. And lol there's a tiny edge to his voice as he asks how she knows that, like she's been going on double dates with Jane and Oliver or something, and it's all like 'Tasha how could u'/'I thought you were on my side' lol and she explains that she ran a background check on him for Jane (lol she says "when they first started dating"-- it was literally like two days ago. Tho lbr they've only been dating for like a week so it still counts haha). 

So the team rushes back to Manhattan, which is like at least a 2 hour helicopter ride away. At Oliver’s offices, Jane's cuffed in the back of a van with two guards (ooh, fellas, I don't like your odds of surviving this) while Freddie takes Oliver upstairs at gunpoint to complete the transfer. And then in walks one of his co-boardmembers, who apparently didn't see the huge guy with the gun until she was literally inside the office, despite the walls and door being entirely made of glass. Poor lady, she's probably sleep deprived. I wonder how he chose which boardmember to call, though? Personally I would have chosen a man without kids, if that was an option. Maybe she's the coolest one under pressure? Or maybe she lives close or always works late or something. But anyhow the FBI arrives outside with lights flashing, which is not exactly a terrific move considering the bad guys could very easily have a lookout?? Good thing both of the other dudes are in the van with Jane and can't see outside...  Ah but poor Jill is having some difficulties with her password, and Oliver-- in a fit of bravery, about time son-- grabs for the gun and yanks it upwards just in time to prevent her being shot. The sound comes over the radios, which again is just enough distraction for Jane to start kicking the crap out of her guards, then get her cuffed hands in front and steal a knife off one of them, shoving it into his neck and then throwing it into the chest of the second. And holy SHIT that was AMAZING! I love this kinda thing. Also Jane must have rubbed off on Oliver a little bit (thankfully not in any other sense of those words tho) bc he holds his own against Freddie just long enough for Nas to get there and shoot him. So if she’s leading the team, I guess Weller and Tasha are still on their way back from Vermont, then?

Oh we're back at the NYO already? Ugh, okay. Anyway Jane and Patterson come to the conference room to tell Oliver the news about his father's death, and Patterson shows him the donations that his dad made to his charity before tactfully leaving the two of them alone. Jane's sweet, trying to comfort him by telling him that she believed his dad still cared for him and was trying to make up for the wrong he'd done. And then she offers to take him home (to his home, not hers, obviously), knowing that he would have been really shaken by the events of the day and she wants to make sure he has someone to talk to if he needs it. I honestly don't think she was planning for their relationship to go any further than today. He certainly isn’t, and gently breaks things off (they're already broken, bud, it's okay). But aw he tells her that she was incredible today. Yeah, she was. And far too good for you, bucko! The only reason you're the dump-er right now is because you beat her to it. But I'm kinda glad you did, so she doesn't have to feel like any more of the bad guy than she already does.

Wait what?? Both Weller and Nas going to Dr Sun to ask for Roman to be allowed out on house arrest?? Like I totally understand and am unsurprised by Weller wanting this (I feel like he's wanted to do so since working with Roman in the field), but Nas?? What motive does she have?? Does she just want Roman out where he'll trigger more memories and be more effective at bringing them closer to Sandstorm?? Or does she want him somewhere where he's less protected, more easily targeted? Or is she hoping he’ll remember the Zipping and turn on Jane?? What are you doing, you enigmatic ice queen??? Dr Sun's not a fan of the idea, bc she's still on the 'Roman's a damaged monster' train. Which means Weller's taking the request to the top of the food chain. Damn, he's really going in to bat for Roman (*cough* for Jane *cough) and ugh I love him for it. 

As usual, Jane is also busy worrying about others-- she goes straight to Zapata the moment Oliver walks away, and asks about Reade, wanting to know if he's okay. Tbh tho I'm bummed that we didn't get to see the moment when the team (okay, yes, particularly Jeller) reunited?? Were there hugs??? Long, lingering touches?? Meaningful and maintained eye contact?? Give me something, writers, c’mon. But anyway Zapata sighs that she honestly doesn’t know, looking sad-- then brightens a bit as she crooks that knowing eyebrow with a "what about you?" haha. Jane immediately says she'll be okay-- because she already is, tbh-- and then says that getting dumped for the first time wasn't a lot of fun. Well, considering that you killed one ex and the other threw you in jail, this is actually kind of the best that any of your breakups has gone? And then she says that there was too much baggage between them, and Zapata tells her that that's a cop out-- and for a second I'm like ‘giiiirl what're you doing?? Are you trying to encourage Jane to try again with Oliver???’ And then she adds that, baggage or no baggage, she and Oliver just weren’t right for each other (oh. Phew.). And so Jane asks how you know when it's right (Come on honey, let's be real here. You already know.) and Zapata tells her that when it's right, you make room for the baggage. And literally on cue, Weller steps out of the elevator and calls Jane's name. Or maybe that was destiny calling?? Lbr they're one and the same for Jane lol. And ughh Jane just stares at him for a moment and tbh I feel so robbed that we didn't get to see the smirk that would have crossed Zapata's face right then, bc lbr we all know it was there. I can totally picture her responding to Jane's 'goodnight' with a wink and a 'go make room!' (before adding 'and then go get one' under her breath hahahaha).

Ugghhhhh I cannot get over this scene. Weller's all serious as he and Jane head down to Roman's cell, and I'm sure she would have asked him what's going on and whether Roman is alright, and he would have told her he's fine but just left it at that because this big dumb softie wants Roman to be able to tell her the news himself. And so Jane is all confused and concerned when they walk in and both Nas and Dr Sun are there-- they've just been briefing Roman on the rules of the deal but she doesn't know that, and ugh I hope that Weller did assure her that everything was all okay before they got to the cell bc otherwise she'd probably be instantly afraid that it meant he was about to be taken back to the CIA or something. Although she does look back at Weller when they come through the door and he just gives a tiny nod so hopefully she knows he's got her back. But ughh then Roman tells her that they're putting him on house arrest and shows her the ankle monitor (which I feel like shouldn’t have a gap in its band but whatevs lol) and smiiiiiles like the adorable puppy he is and Weller tells her that Roman's going to stay at the safehouse with her (the level of TRUST that is being shown here oh my goddddd) and she literally doesn't seem to know what to do with herself rn like she looks at Weller and then back at Roman and her LIP IS TREMBLING and neither of them really listens to Dr Sun as she names her conditions, they're just staring at each other in stunned joy, and Jane's shock turns into a tearful (but glowing) smile as she finally asks "You're getting out????" and ugh I wish she could see the big dumb smile on Weller's face behind her, he's so proud of himself and so happy for them and ugh Roman is allowed to walk out past her and she looks at Weller for a moment before remembering the other two, shooting a grateful glance at them as well, but I stg if it had just been Weller there she would have literally thrown her arms around him without a second of hesitation and he would have squeezed back and she would have whispered thank you in his ear before turning and hurrying away with Roman because she wouldn't have wanted him to see the tears on her face-- but he'd already felt them in the little damp patch on his shoulder and he would have just stood there for a moment looking around the cell with a dumb little smile on his face and then he would have cleared his throat and put on his business face and given the guard a very professional nod as he thanked them and relieved them of their duty and ughhhhhhhhh. I am so sad that this ep had two excellent opportunities for hugs and yet we got none. But anyhow. At least we did get her whispered thanks and that intense eye contact with the "you have no idea what this means to me" and the "I have some idea" bc of course he does, he was the one who brought Jane to her safehouse that first night, the one who no longer had to watch her locked up like an animal, suffering and alone. She would still be those things-- he couldn’t fix that yet-- but at least she was now being treated like a person. And ugh it must have been so hard for him to leave her there that first night, to let her go when she'd hugged him, knowing that he wanted to stay and keep holding her until she stopped trembling against him. So yes, he did know a little something about it. 

And so ughhhhh she gets Roman home and nods to their detail and the agents immediately obey her and go (technically Weller is her direct supervisor, which means she probably outranks them. Technically.) and ugh the siblings are left to hang out on their own and joke about what they're going to order and clearly this little freedom experiment is working already bc he just had a memory of collecting that money from earlier-- it was her trust, under the name Alice Kruger, and the form states that she was killed in action. And it seems like he believes it, because he's crying over it. But okay I'm confused about this. Was she still going by Alice (at least officially) at that time? I had assumed that Shepherd changed their identities when they were taken from the orphanage? But I guess maybe they stayed Krugers in the official sense and that’s what all their IDs said, but within Sandstorm they were known exclusively by their new names? Tbh I can't really remember what the go was with Sandstrorm vs Orion; Remi was like Sandstorm's plant in Orion, right? Also damn, as a sidenote this means Jane should technically be a multimillionaire rn. Woah.    

Oh, Reade. Oh, you absolute walking disaster. I like the bartender for making sure he wasn't driving; lbr it'd be just the kinda stupid thing he would in his current state of mind. And then he sees the dealers and boooiiiiii don't you go over there. Don’t do it. This is going to be a bad idea...  aaand yep, it is. Too bad you're so distinctively handsome, bc you got recognised, and now you've had the crap kicked out of you. I feel bad for you, but tbh bud you kinda deserve it a lil bit. Now go show up at Zapata's door, apologise profusely, and ask to stay on her couch until you pull your life together. Hop to it.                 .                            

Oh Paterson honey :( I'm  so sorry that this has affected you so much and that you can't escape Borden's impact even now that he's (most likely) dead. For a second when she was staring at the Oregon Trail I thought that maybe he'd actually left a message inside for her somehow, like an apology or a lead on Sandstorm or something. But nope, she was just afraid of another bug. And then she starts tearing everything apart which is such an inefficient way to search tbh. She should have just gone to work and grabbed a scanner thing, but clearly she's not in the right frame of mind for the sensible option.... ugh can we all just hug her forever please                  

Ngl I'm a little displeased that Weller and Nas are walking somewhere together rn, discussing the call from Jane about the trust (ugh I bet she thanked Weller again and it was like this little intimate moment, but which Nas promptly interrupted of course). Anyway I'm just gonna pretend that he's being a kind person and is walking her to her subway stop or something so she doesn't have to be out alone. Also man Archie is TINY. Wow. But anyway then the guy approaches Weller and Weller immediately has his hand on his gun. Good boy, very sensible. But nope it's not a threat, it's a lawsuit haha. And then one is delivered to each of the team, because they're being investigated for aiding and abetting a terrorist organisation. Well, there was that thing with the HMX, and the fact that two of Sandstorm’s ringleaders are now kinda members of the team.... but ugh I'm so looking forward to the new ep and seeing how they all deal with this (I wonder if Reade will be brought back in, given his involvement??) and tbh I kinda have missed Weitz's snark haha