#thank you for sharing -- and I'm so glad your husband has been supportive of you

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Bright as the sun

PAIRING | Husband!Dad!Young!Tony Stark x Wife!Mom!Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.6K

SUMMARY | Your growing family is finally adjusting to its latest addition, and now Howard and Maria have invited all of you for a barbecue on a beautiful summer day. This is the perfect opportunity for everyone to relax while enjoying being together as your big, happy family.

RATING | Mature (M)

WARNINGS/TAGS | Use of pet names (Sunshine, Love/My Love, Little One), mentions of breastfeeding,

A/N | This one-shot has been sitting in my drafts for a long time, so I'm happy to finally share it with you all! It was a lot of fun to work on this story, and I want to thank @ccbsrmsf1 for all the support and proofreading for me! You're truly appreciated 💙

EVENTS Masterlist | @anyfandomfluffbingo | "We have chickens."

Banners: Yours truly | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Source

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist

"Do we have everything, Sunshine?" your husband, Tony, asks as he's looking at the bags strewn across the floor. He looks at you and quirks a brow to ask, 'Do we really need all this?!'

"Yes, My Love, we have everything. Can you load the car while I change Paxton? Both Hudson and Orion have already dressed themselves, so I'll be right with all of you," you tell him before giving him a soft peck on his lips.

He looks at you as you turn around, your summery dress flowing around you perfectly, highlighting every single curve of your body to perfection.

"Are you ready to get changed, Little One? Yeah? That's what I thought!" you coo at Paxton, who looks up at you with a curious gaze, and you can't wait for the day he will show his first smile.

Changing him into his coveralls and shirt went smoothly, for which you're very thankful. He can be a handful sometimes, but he will always cooperate in such moments.

"Aren't you looking perfect today, Little One? You're the most handsome one of all today," you say as you bring him outside to meet the rest.

"Hi, Mommy!" the twins say in unison, and Tony's head shoots up so fast he hits his head against the roof of the car as he's loading it in. The laugh escaping you is a little too loud and earns you a glare from your husband, but you can't stop laughing.

"Sorry, 's too funny," you say before walking over to the car and putting Paxton in his carrier, ready to be strapped in and driven to Howard and Maria's house.

When the twins and Paxton are comfortable in the car, you can finally tend to your husband and apologize for laughing like you did just now.

"I'm sorry, My Love, I didn't mean to laugh at you like this," you say as you run your fingers through his hair, soothing him with a soft kiss on his forehead.

After a few more pecks on the lips, he lets go and heads to the driver's side of the car, and you can't help but admire the way his butt looks in the outfit he's wearing.

Although long, the drive to Howard and Maria's house went by without any problems, but you can tell you last fed Paxton a while ago.

"I'm so sorry, but would you mind unloading the kids and the things we brought? I'm getting very uncomfortable and need to either feed or pump right now," you say hastily, and Tony agrees.

You slip inside the house, and after a quick "Hi! I'm Going to feed him!" you run up the stairs as carefully as possible and slip into Tony's room for a bit of privacy. Whenever it's this bad, you prefer to be by yourself, whereas you would usually not mind breastfeeding in front of Howard and Maria either.

You open your dress, and Paxton is already a little fussy because he's hungry, but you're glad he's finally drinking. The relief is even seeping into your bones at this point. When you hear a knock on the door about 10 minutes later, you turn your head only to find Tony poking his head around the corner, concern visible on his face.

"Are you okay, Sunshine? You said you were getting uncomfortable, so I just wanted to make sure. I also brought your pump to be sure," showing you the case with your breast pump.

"You're a godsend, you know that? I might need it because he was less hungry than usual.

He puts the pump on the bed for you, and after one more kiss, he returns to Howard, Maria, and the twins, who were already outside and wanted to go into the pool.

Paxton didn't take long to be done, and you decided to pump the rest of the milk he didn't drink right now. He's perched up against your legs, which you pulled up so he can sit at a bit of a slope.

"What do you think your brother and sister are doing, hm? I bet they are already swimming right now!" you tell Paxton, and he melts your heart despite not doing anything other than grabbing your fingers.

The pump makes a soft whirring noise that lulls him to sleep in no time, and you decide to take a photo of it because he looks so cute when he's knocked out cold like he is now.

When the pump is done, you detach it carefully, ensuring you're not waking up Paxton. Then, you lay him in the pop-up crib that Howard and Maria have for him in their room. The baby monitor is also on, so you can go down to put your pumped milk away.

"Hi, Sunshine," Tony says as he walks into the kitchen to get something to drink. You're pouring the milk into bottles for easy access later.

"Hey, My Love. Thank you for bringing the pump earlier; it was a lifesaver because he wasn't too hungry today. Hopefully, he'll drink later," you say, and Tony stands behind you. His hands are splayed out on your stomach, and he rubs softly over the scar on your lower abdomen from the emergency c-section you had when Paxton was born.

You sigh softly as you close your eyes, leaning into Tony's touch with a content smile.

"I'm still so proud of you, you know that? After everything you've gone through since the surgery, the difficult healing process, and my not being home for most of it, I want you to know that you're amazing, and I'm so proud of you. I'm glad I'm growing old with you," he says before placing a few soft kisses on your neck.

A content hum leaves your lips as you slowly sway back and forth in his hold, enjoying the moment until your twins walk into the kitchen, looking for both of you.

"Mommy? Daddy? Are you two swimming with us?" Hudson asks, and you turn around in Tony's arms, giving him a questioning look.

"What do you think, My Love? Shall we join them in the pool?" you ask, and based on the wide smile on his face, he would love nothing more.

"Alright, since the two of you are already changed into your swimsuits, you go ahead, but be careful and listen to Gramps and Glamma, okay?" you say, and they nod in unison before running out the door and into the garden, enthusiastically telling both Howard and Maria the two of you will be swimming as well.

"I might need some help putting sunscreen on my back. Would you mind helping me out?" you ask Tony before placing a soft peck on his lips. His mouth curls into a wide smile at your question.

"I'd love nothing more, Sunshine," he says. Within less than 10 minutes, you're changed into your swimsuits and ready to join your twins in the pool. Maria is watching little Paxton through the baby monitor, and you can enjoy a careless afternoon in the pool with your beautiful twins and fantastic husband.

Paxton took a good three-hour nap when you were all swimming. When he woke up, Maria got him out of bed before changing him into his own little swim diaper and swim shorts, making him look adorable. You got his baby pool floaty ready, and you're patiently waiting for your youngest son to be brought outside so he can cool off in the pool.

"Look at him, Sunshine! He's so cute in his swim shorts!" Tony says as he swims over to you, and your heart melts at the sight of him. Maria is carrying him over to you, and you quickly grab hold of him as she hands him to you.

"Hi, Little One. Did you have a nice nap?" you ask him, and he gives you something starting to resemble a smile in return. You place him in his baby floaty before walking down the stairs, and he's wiggling his arms and legs as you take him with you.

Hudson and Orion are playing with Howard and Tony on the other side of the pool. They keep climbing out and doing all sorts of tricks and jumps while you, Maria, and Paxton are near the shallow end. The sun is shining brightly on all of you, and everything feels right for the next few hours.

There are no worries about work or Tony being gone for weeks or even months on end during a busy filming schedule, and not a single concern clouding your mind as everyone is laughing carelessly, having the time of their lives.

After a while, Tony makes his way over to where you, Maria, and Paxton are floating. He comes to stand behind you on the step you're on, his head leaning on your shoulder while his arms are wrapped around you, and your free hand is interlaced with one of his.

"Are the three of you enjoying yourselves over here?" Tony asks as he looks at Paxton, who is having the time of his life in his floaty. Ever since you first introduced him to the pool, he has been unable to get enough, just like Hudson and Orion.

"We are, yeah," you say as you let Maria take over Paxton's floaty, and you turn in your husband's arms.

"What about you? Are you enjoying yourself?" you ask, and he nods, leaning in to peck your lips.

"Even more now that I have my girl in my arms again," he whispers, and the warmth floods your cheeks as he says those words. Even after being together for the time you two have been together, he still brings out your shy side, and you fall in love with him every day without fail.

"I love you, My Love," you tell him before leaning in, and as soon as your lips descend on his plump, pink lips, you can feel every last worry seep out of your body, and he is taking over your mind completely. Your tongue glides over his bottom one, and he opens up willingly, and you two explore each other's mouths for a little while without a single care in the world.

Howard and Maria give each other a knowing look, but they let the two of you do your thing, instead taking over the care of your kids as you share a private moment. Tony's hands roam over your back before sliding down and giving you a squeeze of your butt, making you smile into the kiss.

"Not now, My Love. You have to wait until tonight to get some of that," you tell him with an eyebrow wiggle, and this time, he turns a bright shade of red on his cheeks. He buries his face in your neck as he pulls you close, your fingers gliding through his hair simultaneously.

"I think I'll start getting ready for dinner. Do you want to help, Y/N?" Maria asks, and you nod. After placing a kiss on Tony's nose, you get out of the pool, but Tony can't keep his eyes off your body as you get out. With every inch of your body dripping water and the sun making you look like you're glowing, Tony knows he will never get enough of it.

"Be careful with the drooling, Son. We wouldn't want the pool to overflow," Howard remarks, and Tony turns toward his Dad to glare at him. Tony still blushes furiously at his Dad's words. He swims to the pool's deep end to play with Hudson and Orion while Howard takes care of Paxton in his floaty.

Meanwhile, you've put on a loose tank top and shorts as you work in the kitchen with Maria. She's preparing the meat that Howard will grill during dinner while you're cutting vegetables for the salad.

"How did you and Howard meet?" you ask your mother-in-law as she marinates some chicken, and a broad smile appears at your question. You have heard Tony say their first meeting was adorable, but he never told you exactly how they met, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. Her smile is contagious as you look at her, and you can't stop smiling.

"Well, as you know, Howard and I met in college. I hadn't been in the US long then; it wasn't even a year. I was looking for a classroom and couldn't find it, so I ran into Howard. He walked me to the class even though his class was on the other side of the Campus, and the rest is history," she tells you. They have been inseparable since then, and it can only be described as 'meant to be.'

"But that's not all, actually. It gets cuter," Maria says as she stops what she's doing as she looks at you.

"Howard asked me on a date that same day because he came to my class after his class was done. We got together not long after, and he is my first - and last - boyfriend. I was supposed to go back to Italy after finishing college, but I stayed for him, and not long after, we got a beautiful baby known as Anthony Edward Stark," she tells you with a wink, making you smile again as you listen to her story.

"And the rest is history," you whisper, and she nods. Your gaze wanders to the pool, where Tony teaches your twins how to flip into the water. Your bottom lip is pulled between your teeth as you think about how lucky you are to have fallen in love with the most caring, loving man and the best Dad your three kids could ever wish for.

"He's fortunate to have you, Y/N. Running into you is the best thing that could have happened because he told me right after you two had your first date that he had found his soulmate. He is so in love with you, and to see him feel so happy is something I could only wish for as a Mom," she says, and you're fighting against the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.

"And seeing Tony turn into a loving Dad as soon as you told us about Hudson and Orion made my mother's heart proud. You're the best thing to have happened to him, and you are meant to be, I know it," she tells you. At this point, you can't fight the tears any longer; they slowly make their way onto your cheeks.

"Thank you, Maria, for everything," you tell her before you pull her into a much-needed hug. She hugs you tight as she rubs your back soothingly. Maria has been a second Mom to you, and this moment only cements that for you. After the sweet moment, you both return to preparing dinner, the rest of your conversation light and plenty of jokes sprinkled throughout.

"Is everyone ready for dinner?" you ask the remaining members of your family who are still in the pool. The weather is still hot, so everyone climbs out of the pool before taking their places around the large dinner table. You take Paxton from your husband's arms as you sit down.

"Are you hungry, Little One? Yeah, you are, huh?" you ask him as you free your breast, allowing him to latch on quickly as you breastfeed him. Howard prepares the large grill while Tony sets the table with Maria, and Hudson and Orion play on their iPads until dinner.

You get comfortable in your chair as you look at your youngest son, suckling contently, when you feel a pair of eyes burning into your head. Tony is staring at you as you breastfeed your son, and he can't stop thinking about how he wants that to be him drinking your precious milk instead. His lactation kink is back in full force, and you can't help but chuckle.

"Maybe tonight, My Love," you tell him with a wink, and he turns bright red as he knows you caught him staring—and you also know what he is thinking. Tony quickly turns around, almost bumping into Maria as he does. She shakes her head with a smirk as she puts down the plates and cutlery on the table.

"He's crazy about you," she says, and you nod in response. Paxton ate a lot more this time, though you chose not to pump the excess, wanting to save it as a little treat for your husband later. The food is gone within no time, and dessert is quickly devoured. Hudson and Orion play in the sun for a bit, and Paxton is napping in your arms as you, Tony, Howard, and Maria enjoy an after-dinner drink.

Tony and Howard are sipping whiskey, Maria enjoys white wine, and you drink water. While you wouldn't usually say no to a nice glass of wine, you always stop drinking during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

"I wish we could have days like these more often," Tony sighs, and you nod before taking another sip of your drink. His hectic shooting schedule usually doesn't leave much time to spend with family, but whenever he can, he spends every second of quality time with them—just like he was brought up to be. Now that he has a big family, he can't get enough of the happiness he feels.

"You could just retire, you know," you joke with a wink, and for a brief moment, you can see Tony considering it. Ultimately, he shakes his head with a smile. He loves being an actor, and he wouldn't give it up just like that. He also knows that if he needs to be home, he will give it all up in a heartbeat because nothing comes before his family.

"I almost forgot to tell you something: we have chickens!" Howard suddenly says, and it makes you laugh at his sudden change of topic.

"Shall we look at them?" he asks, and you nod. Everyone quickly gathers around the large chicken coop they built for their five chickens.

"Do you want to know a little secret?" Maria asks the twins, and they nod in unison.

"We named three of them after you and your brother, and the other chickens still need a name," she tells them, and you can't stop yourself from laughing. Of course, they would name their chickens after your kids!

"Can we name them?!" Orion asks enthusiastically, and Maria nods.

"How about Chip and Dale?" she says, referencing her favorite Disney characters.

"I think it's perfect," you tell them, and then Tony suddenly bursts into laughter. You look at him with a quirked brow, wondering what is going on in that head of his.

"I just thought that Gramps and Glamma used to have a flamingo! Yeah, a real, bright pink flamingo named Bernard! I grew up with him, but unfortunately, he is no longer around. He got old, and then he passed away," Tony says as he thinks about his fond memories with the pink bird.

"Really? I don't believe you, Daddy!" Hudson says, but it's true. You have seen the photos of a little Tony standing next to Bernard as he imitated him, both standing on one leg. Tony sported a bright pink pair of pants, a huge smile, and a messy mop of hair on his head. He was - and still is - adorable.

"It's true, Baby Boy. Shall we go and look at the photos?" you ask, and before you get an answer, Hudson and Orion are running toward the house, wanting to see the photos you talked about.

"You brought this upon yourself, My Love. You just had to mention Bernard, didn't you?" Tony shakes his head with a goofy smile. You give him a peck on his lips before walking inside and putting down Paxton for his night's sleep, and then you join the twins as they look at old photos of Tony.

"Look, Mommy, it's like I see myself in that photo," Orion says, and you nod. The resemblance between her and Tony is uncanny, making you smile at the sight - it's obvious she is your husband's carbon copy, while Hudson looks precisely like you.

"You're beautiful, Baby Girl," Tony tells her as he picks her up, sits her on his lap, and cuddles her.

"Just like you, Daddy, if I'm beautiful, then you are too because I look like you!" she says with a big smile, and she's entirely correct. Hudson climbs into your lap as well, wanting to have some cuddle time with you before bed. His eyes are slowly getting heavy, and sleep is setting in quickly.

"I think it's time for a bath and then some sleep; what do you think?" you ask Hudson, and he nods. He gets up, closely followed by Orion, who is also starting to get sleepy after the day they've had. Their baths are finished quickly and out like a light within 45 minutes.

As you close their door, Tony walks over to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. He immediately captures your lips with his, his tongue sliding into your mouth almost instantly. A soft groan leaves his lips as he lets his hand wander down to your butt, squeezing it softly.

"I think it's about time for us to go to bed as well, don't you think?" he asks in a teasing tone, and you can't help but agree as you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist as he catches you. After all the teasing both of you did today, he can't take it anymore, needing to take you apart in every way imaginable.

"I thought you'd never ask," you say, and he walks you two to his old bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He won't make that mistake again, after all.

[linskywords]

OH MY GOD MS. LINSKY HAS DONE IT AGAIN!!! Absolutely loving Kiss Your Boyfriend so far. Can I ask how do you maintain such a high level of productivity with your writing? Your output is incredible! If you feel like sharing how much time you spend writing per day / how many words you average per day that would be really interesting, plus how you find the time / inspiration to write so much? Thanks.

This is so kind, thank you!! This answer got super long and somewhat off-topic, so I'm putting it below a cut.

I am incredibly lucky in my writing time, especially for someone with a small baby. A bunch of years ago I talked my office into letting me go half-time so that I'd have more time to write -- at the time I was thinking specifically of novels, which I have written several of (though not with a level of quality that I'm happy with). Since having a baby last year, I've pretty much only been interested in writing fanfiction; hence the output you've seen. You can pretty much track how much novel-writing I've been doing by looking at my ao3 stats page and seeing how high the wordcount is for a given year. if it's low, there's probably a novel draft or two to blame.

This is a digression, but one that I'm going to include because it's inextricably tied up for me with thoughts about my writing time: having a baby has made me feel much more conflicted about my schedule. We have her in full-time daycare -- partly because it's pretty hard to find anything else around here and it's not nearly as much of a discount to go part-time as you feel like it should be, but also because it's always been understood, between my husband and me, that my writing time is something to be protected at most (not all) costs. I cannot overstate how glad I am for this. That writing time has been absolutely sanity-preserving for me in the first year of motherhood. Baby sleep-and-wake times have pretty much eaten my evenings and weekends, but I still have Thursdays and Fridays and the occasional Wednesday where the only work I have to do is write. It's an unbelievable luxury, and one that's let me feel like I'm still a person and not just a mother. And it's one that I still feel guilty about, even while feeling grateful.

Part of the reason I feel guilty and not just grateful is that over the past year I've been wrestling with my relationship with original fiction. When you're working towards becoming a novelist, you can feel like, okay, it's lucky that I can support myself on half a week's salary, and also it's morally okay because I'm working on acquiring this other Real Job! A Novelist! That's a real thing that pays the bills! (Ha. If only it did, cry a million novelists as I type this.) Capitalism is a scam but it's also a real force that operates on our lives and our psyches. That half a week that I'm not working is half a week when my husband is doing something to further our family's survival and I am not. It's half a week when I could be spending full days taking care of my baby, as certain segments of society would tell you is the greatest thing a woman or person can do, regardless of whether or not they enjoy that type of work (I do not). It would feel more justifiable to me if I were using that time to become A Real Artist -- by which I of course mean one who gets paid. But that part of it really is a scam: fanfiction isn't less of an art just because I don't get paid for it. It's just an art that people can't make a living at, and I'm unbelievably lucky that I don't have to.

I don't know if I'll find myself motivated to return to novel-writing anytime soon. There are parts of me that want the challenge of creating something more structurally complex, that love inventing something entirely new, and those parts are worth listening to, unlike the parts of me that feel like an inadequate imposter because I'm not published. So: maybe. But the publishing industry is its own nightmare, and it's hard to want to dive into it when I currently have so much creative freedom and a place to share my work that doesn't rely on the professional gatekeepers. We also don't currently need the income I might make as a novelist -- which is good, because my understanding is that the idea of making even minimum wage as a novelist is laughable, and I'd do much better going full-time at my job and only writing during weekend baby naps.

So those are the current, very fortunate circumstances of my writing life. Hopefully they will make you feel better if you're someone who works full-time or has other full-time responsibilities or just otherwise can't spend the equivalent of two full working days each week writing, and you're looking at how much I've posted so far this year and thinking that you should have been able to write just as much. Maybe you can, if you're able to find that kind of time in your own life and want to spend it writing, but maybe you can't or maybe you just don't want to and I hope it helps to know I haven't been dashing these stories off during my lunch break or something.

As for speed, I am a relatively fast writer, I think, though not exceptionally so. I usually aim for about 1K an hour when working on a rough draft. If I know a lot about where I want a story to go, it can be faster than that, but I can't sustain that for too many hours in a row. There have been days in recent history when I knew what I wanted to happen and I wrote 9-10K in a day, and I always feel like my brain has been scoured out afterwards and then I'm not usually very productive for a couple days afterward. So probably a more sustainable pace for me is 5-6K of new words per writing day, and then sometimes I'll realize I've taken the wrong approach and have to scrap a bunch of words and go back, and other times it'll have been a while since I last looked at a story so I'll have to go to the beginning and catch myself up, which involves a lot of rewriting also. And then there are days that are supposed to be writing days but something won't click, or I'm sick because I have a daughter in daycare and that means all the germs. So my output is super variable.

I will say, though, that one of the most profound impacts fanfiction has had on my life is that I WANT to sit down and write now. When I first decided I was serious about writing I had a few months off between jobs and decided to use them to write a novel that had been living in my head for a few years at that point. Getting myself to sit down and work on it was like herding slugs. It was an agony of procrastination. At one point I think I watched the entirety of The West Wing between one writing session and the next. I wanted to write, or at least I wanted to want to write, and it made me miserable that I wasn't and yet I still didn't. Writing is really, really hard, and almost anything feels easier in the moment!

But fanfiction has never felt like that to me. It's challenging in plenty of ways, and it's still a lot of work to create a story, but for me it's also a joy. It makes me think of how I used to play dolls when I was a kid, coming up with stories for them to act out. And they didn't have to be the world's most complex stories, with multiple interlocking plots and no words wasted, the way I feel like a novel has to be (I'm probably slightly wrong about this, but only slightly). Writing fic has taken away the barrier I used to face when sitting down to write, where it felt like I needed to hurdle a small building to even start putting words on the page. And the amazing thing is that that ease of starting has transferred to original writing as well. My body and mind have a habit of sitting down at the computer and having fun with words, and I can tap into that even when what I'm writing isn't fic.

And I really do love it. There is nothing in the world as satisfying to me as writing. I'm a little bit of a control freak, and writing is something where I can make things happen exactly the way I think they should. Sitting down, playing out the characters' emotions, figuring out how to make it feel real and compelling, guiding them towards the story I want them to have...there is literally nothing I am better suited for or enjoy more.

As for inspiration...well, in addition to the above, I just really, really want these stories to exist. There is something absolutely irresistible to me in getting characters together, especially if being together means having something that they desperately need but can't admit that they want. The most alluring story premises to me are the ones where there's An Obstacle, a thing that seems like it will bar these two (or three, or four) being together in a real way -- a dam behind which tension can build up, more and more over the course of the story, until the obstacle finally gives way and we have all that lovely tension release. And then the poor deprived main character who didn't think he was even allowed to want what he wanted can finally have it. One of the reasons I DON'T enjoy writing original fiction as much is that genre conventions tend to demand that other things happen in addition to that delicious tension buildup and release. Why dilute it when you could just write the pure thing??

So that's the long answer about my writing circumstances and motivations. I hope you found it interesting, anon -- or at least that you continue enjoying the effects! I have such a voracious appetite to write these stories right now; as long as I keep having the time, I don't see that changing anytime soon.

[goingtolesbos]

Hi,

This is me, Noura Ayman,

A medical lab specialist and I have been working in the Turkish Friendship Hospital for four years and studying a master's degree at Al-Aqsa University but have not yet finished it.

I am married to Ibrahim who works the same profession at Al-Shifa Hospital and we were studying a master's degree together.

My story in short is that we have been out of Gaza for treatment in Egypt since July 2023, and we have done an “in vitro fertilization” to give birth after four failed operations in Gaza.

We had a very beautiful baby.

But sadly that the war happened in Gaza in October 2023 and we have been stuck in Egypt ever since without any source of income, and I don't know how to provide for my beautiful daughter's Hanan needs and how to pay for the house and the rest of life, plus our house was bombed in Gaza.

So please support me to set up my own medical analysis laboratory and complete a master's degree in Egypt.

I thank you very much for your interest and support.

Hi Noura! I am happy to share your campaign and I am so glad to hear that you and your husband had your baby!

Noura and her husband Ibrahim are a Palestinian couple who have been displaced in Egypt since July 2023. She is a medical student who has lost her home, place of work, and university.

Her campaign is new and she is working on getting it vetted by a user here so please consider making a donation, however small.

[scienceoftheidiot]

Hi there! I know you have a collection of skulls and bones, i'd like to ask what is your favorite piece (and why)?

Aaah ahaha well I don't have one favourite but I can share a few. First I need to say I just counted how many skulls I had and

I counted 58 right now and that's forgetting there is one macerating since uuuhhhh last year that I should probably go bac to

Also since I guess not all of my followers knew about this other obsession of mine, I do not hunt, and all my skulls have been either found, purchased on yard sale, given out of school/museum/university collections, or indeed given by hunters but the animals were hunted legally and eaten for their meat.

Also I'm a biologist so handling dead animals and chemicals is basically something I'm trained for. I'm not telling you not to do it at home, but teach yourself safety and beware. I've been patronised enough by people who didn't know I handled FAR MORE DANGEROUS stuff at work than fucking acetone daily when I started doing this and it made me so angry guys I'm not going to do that to you. Just know chemical burns are no fun, especially if it happens in your lungs (didn't happen to me because safety)

This disclaimer done here is the pieces I like the most in my collection, and the reason why :

First roe I found, somewhere in Alpes-Maritimes. I was living there for my PhD at the time. Like most of the skulls I have found, it was when I tagged along while my husband fishing. Somewhere in 2015 I think ? My collection was already started but I had yet to find a buck.

First cat! Same, my husband found it in the river and I was nearby. Same as the roe, it was all clean already. I love cat skulls. You get to see how big their eyes are. This one has spent a lot of time in the river, has no teeth, and I never could get the patina off, but I think I love it because of it too.

My poor husband doesn't really sit well with the idea of picking up dead stuff but he's always been very supportive, and this is a skull he bought for me, as a tongue in cheek joke. We had almost a row because he told me there were raccoons where he lived, and I didn't believe him, because we're in France, and those are North American animals. We have a habit of taking the car at night to go and look for wild animals (fun thing is that it's a childhood thing for both of us) and one night... You got it, I saw a fucking raccoon happily shuffling on the side of the road. Mindblown. Got this skull next Christmas lol. Since then I've learnt there are raccoon everywhere.

I'm just proud of this one (beech marten) because it's the first I cleaned through by myself. A friend gave me a dead beech marten. Fur and all. And now I find this skull is perfectly clean, sometimes cleaner than some that were professionally cleaned. So.

Dream skull ! A young male horse, and considering where it comes from I might even be able to tell the breed (Camargue). One of my biggest, and I just love horse skulls. I own 3 😅 it's the only male.

Last but not least ! I think I told you about this one. Not a skull per se, but eh. It's a mouse that has been found in one of the beehives I worked with during my thesis. Mice creep into beehives during winter because it's warm and full of food, but bees usually kill them. Then they cover them with propolis, that is an antibacterial and antifungal agent, basically mummifying the mouse. It's not fully mummified here, but I didn't do anything to clean it. It smells like propolis and beeswax, even. It's a little sad but also I'm glad the beekeeper who knew about my hobby just saved it for me.

Here you go!! Sorry for the amount of personal information lol. Thank you for asking 🥰

[solarisdog]

My wife @synthized has already said her side of shit and it ain't my place to come on here and support that, 'cause I ain't a victim. I'm just an ''outsider'' that saw J's decline from all the hell solarisgod put her in.

I've been enraged for years over this but J told me to hold my tongue ( 'cause I ain't afraid to unleash it ) as to not stir the pot. That's fine. Her choice. But my anger in sending this post here, I've already directed one to Solarisgod themselves, is the written up and disgusting lie that myself and Luan ain't actually real people. This is in the revised document they have put on @solarisgod That we just sit inside J, controlling her brain or something. A DID disorder that Solaris threw onto J, through their messed up narrative.

Imagine being with someone, love of your life even, you get to touch them every day. Hold them. You see them go through so much fucking hell and you are THERE for them. Physically. Real world shit. Not whatever mirage Tumblr conjures up today. And then someone telling you over and over and over again, along with all other kinds of emotional manipulation, mental attacks, gang stalking, grooming allegations, lies, lies, lies, that your partners?? Are actually a figment of your imagination.

J got to a point with all this, which she don't like admitting, where she resorted to self-harm and borderline psychosis from this. She pushed myself and Luan away, in a mental response to how Solarisgod AND her fucking demon goons, were targeting her. Every day. Every movement watched. Over, over, over again. @lucidxxdreamer can attest to this, who was also present in watching J losing her fucking mind and not knowing what and who was real.

I'm very real. J's husband is very real. We are a real relationship. ''Throuple'' or whatever. I've been blocked by this disgusting stalker, thankfully, but seeing as they are obviously checking out this blog, I wanted to say my piece here. My anger in this holds no bounds, and I really gotta reign my shit in to how I really feel about this. Solarisgod would hate for us to be real, 'cause it means the person that they wanted to date, was obsessed with, stalking, all that psycho-crush shit - that was rejected, was never available to begin with. The chipping away at J was almost a success and I hate that. I hate Solarisgod for what they had done to our wife.

I could write a damn essay on what me and Luan had to witness, but my words wouldn't be pretty.

I'm glad you approached J for her side of shit. It's the first ounce of comfort from this hellhole experience she has had for nearly 3 years. I'm appreciative of all you. Other people are able to come forward with their own experience now. Which is great.

I'm saying this, not for clarification for me, J, Luan. We don't have to defend shit. But so others are aware of the stories being painted. Planned out. Interlaced with their friends collaborations. Watch yourself. The story you have with Solarisgod ain't gonna be the story that they share with all her minion pals, trust me.

I feel your anger and frustration. I am very very sorry for the pain and suffering that you all went through. I know that this blog cannot take away that pain and it cannot give those years back to you, but I do hope that you find peace in knowing that you are not alone in these feelings. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to talk to J about it. I appreciate that she was willing to let me tell her story alongside others. She is a very brave person, because despite all that pain she went through she still told her story here without knowing whether anyone would take her side. I appreciate you coming to tell your side of the story, I cannot imagine how hard it has been for you. Thank you again.

[bellaxgiornata]

Soooo...I stumbled upon your fics sometime late last week or over the weekend and your stuff is SO. GOOD. I'm pretty sure I irritated my husband with how invested in reading your stuff I was but c'est la vie! The Matt Murdock stuff is everything I didn't know I needed and I haven't even watched Kin yet but you best believe it's on my list now because you have me invested in Michael!

I saw your post about taking your toddler trick or treating and I have NO IDEA how you write, edit, and post so much good stuff and also take care of a little human! I have a toddler as well and even though I've slowly been getting inspiration to write again, I haven't known how I would even approach it.

I don't send many messages on here anymore but I have so thoroughly enjoyed your catalogue I had to tell you. You're doing an AMAZING job!

Ahhh!! Omg thank you so so much!! This was such a lovely message to see before I ended my night! ❤️😭 Your poor husband 🤣 Mine is quite supportive of my writing (fanfic or otherwise), but I'm sure I've annoyed him plenty with needing to post an update or take a few minutes to finish writing the end of something so I could get it out of my head. You're certainly not alone 😅

I am so glad you've been enjoying all my Matt fics! AND YES!! We need more Mikey lovers!! Kin is soo incredibly difficult for people to have access to watch and I'm honestly hoping that now that BBC bought the show, hopefully it won't be long before it's made more widely available somewhere legal. It's such a great show and Charlie's acting as Michael is so good. And I absolutely adore Mikey. If they continue it for a few more seasons he might give Matt a run for his money in my head...🤣 Don't tell Matt.

I am a stay at home mom so in the few moments I get of my son doing something on his own, I usually am typing away on my phone or a tablet or my computer. Honestly for me getting back into fanfic and being part of this community has helped me feel like me and not just mom--which as a parent yourself I'm sure you totally understand what that feels like! So this is like...something that keeps me sane on a daily basis. It's a hobby for sure but the connections I've made here have been amazing. And hell yes! Definitely let yourself write! You can always just start by writing for yourself, don't put the pressure of sharing or even finishing it on yourself if you don't want to! Just diving into it is probably the best way to begin.

Thank you so much for taking the time to stop in and leave some love! ❤️ This definitely made my day and my night to hear so thank you, friend! I'm glad you stumbled on my blog!

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just did something really really hard for someone in recovery! I'm in the wedding party for my best friend's wedding, and I've been putting off getting this dress altered for *months*. I've had nightmares. Cold sweats. Guilt. Paralyzing fear. I've known what kinds of thoughts mirrors and measuring tape (and no!! Bra!!!! Allowed!!!!!!!) and scrutiny would bring up, and I would've rather given myself a lobotomy than deal with it. But my therapist said I could do it and as always she was right.

My big takeaway isn't about how my body changed, or what I saw in the mirror, or even what I was afraid I'd see. It's not about my body at all actually--this seamstress was *so kind*. She didn't blink at my situation, just congratulated me immediately on my recovery. As if this is something she hears of every day.

I am so blown away by this stranger's compassion, I don't have words. My husband stayed the whole boring time for moral support. My friends waited for updates. My mom helped deal with my kid when I needed to recover after getting home.

I can't believe I walked away from something I was terrified of facing only to feel blessed. There really are so many more important parts of life than body size. This matters so much more, that the world was kind to me when I needed it.

I'm crying a lot but I think I'm very happy and I just needed to tell someone. Thank you

Thank you so much for sharing this positivity! I want to congratulate you on your bravery in putting yourself out there and doing something that has so many hard, scary steps! I'm so glad you have managed to accrue so many helpful, understanding, supportive people in your circle. And I'm glad you sought their support when you needed it!

I hope your friend's wedding is amazing!

[night-market-if]

Zinnia 🥺🥺 just finished chapter 12 and I have to say I love it. I'm feeling so many things right now that I don't know how to express them all, but I'll try.

I'm so devastated for Milo and MC. The moment Milo realizes the plan didn't go the way it should and it being too late just 😭 ugh even after all that how can I not love him????

I don't know how you always manage to make things make sense with each new revelation while still making us question what is going on! I feel like I understand him more now and like i don't know him at all, but I suspect that's how Milo likes things to be 😂

I still remember finding this blog when you were still writing paper lanterns and thinking to myself that I would read the first chapter when it came out to see if I liked it, and then wait until the night market was complete to start reading. I've been on the internet for too long and read too many wips that ended up being abandoned, so I didn't want to get my hopes up. But when chapter 2 dropped I couldn't help myself lol I'm so glad I didn't wait!

Reading your story each month has been like a warm blanket for me. It's one of my happy places now ❤️ Even reading your responses on here brighten ups my day a little bit!

Your characters feel so real that even when I disagree with them (Milo 👀) I can tell there is a reason why they are the way they are, how their pasts have shaped them, how complicated their emotions are in the face of what's going on.

Sorry for rambling, I don't know if what I'm writing makes sense because I'm still processing this chapter and english is hard 😂

Thank you so much for sharing this story with us, I can't wait to see what you have in store for book 2, bit in the meantime I'll be re-reading book 1 every chance I get!

Dropped wips was what I was so afraid of when this started. I knew I would see this through to completion if there was enough interest, but I started getting really worried about writers block. Or what if one of my kids got sick. Or what if something happened that just left me in a creative drop.

Since starting this story, I have gone through some personal things with my family life, have lived on only a Patreon income because my husband had to go on strike for almost three months, been up to my ears in medical bills, wondered how in the hell I was going to feed my kids at the time. We have gotten sick multiple times. We have started homeschooling. We have had breaks in very important friendships. And I just kept writing. It was a point of pride for me. That I was able to do this thing that I've wanted to do for so long, despite feeling sometimes like my world was being held together with Elmers glue. LOL! I don't regret starting this story for an instant. I don't regret the work I've put in either. It has provided me and my family with such a comfort over the last year that I completely understand when you say this story is a warm blanket. I am the author of it, yeah. But I am also a fangirl of these characters too.

Thank you so much for reading this and thank you so much for giving me a chance to prove what this story could be.

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨ 

Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord🌿Kickstarter

[millenniallust4death]

Hey. If this is weird or a lot feel free to just ignore it but I've been scrolling your blog for a while. I clicked because I misread your blazed post and didn't realise you said late husband at first. So it interested me in a morbid way how candid that was. I ended up scrolling through so much of what you have tagged #grief and it brought up so many emotions in me. I feel like I've spent so much of my short life trying to process and deal with the more 'unnatural' mental health issues that I've pushed the more natural ones to the side. I buried all my grief and mourning for the few I have lost inside and ignored it. I know you probably didn't start posting to become 'an inspiration'. I know you probably post and reblog and tag just to vent and have an outlet. But I've found myself at an age or at least at a point in time where grief and loss has only recently become a more open talking point. Something okay to address. Seeing people like you being so open and almost comfortable in the pain is a relief i never expected. It feels like a warm hug and I only wish to return the support I feel from it. I'm going to visit my grandparents at the crematorium next week. I haven't been since sometime last year. They passed one year after the other, unable to bare being seperated after so many years fighting side by side. It will be the third and fourth anniversaries this year. In my heart, it still feels like we're yet to bury them. Like I could go to their old home and they'd be waiting there for me. The loss of them is the one that hurts me the most but i never take the time to think of them. Thank you for normalising this hurt. I am so sorry for your loss and hope you're processing this hurt and healing well. You are cared for so much x

I am glad that my blog has served as a source of support for you as you process the losses in your life. While it's true that I overshare in my tags about every thought in my head, it's not that I feel casual or comfortable sharing my struggles with complex grief in such a public manner. I've been on Tumblr for over a decade as part of a very small community. So, in my tags, I'm having a conversation at/with my beloved mutuals; these folks have virtually held my hand through very difficult times in my life. My whimsically Blazed post exposed my blog to the wider Tumblr community in a way that I try my best to ignore. However, the interest generated from the Blazed post forced me to strip the tags from most of the posts written during Martin's illness because having those deeply sad posts show up in my notes made me feel unbearably perceived and rawly exposed. I left the tags to the posts that document my bizarre fascination with Skeletor affirmations. XD

[enchantedchocolatebars]

The very kind and very talented @queenspinoodle tagged me in this writing game! 💖 ✏️ 💕 ✍️ 💟 (THANK U!!!)

1. What motivates you to write?

My love for writing does! ❤️ ✏️ As a writer, I have stories to tell and headcanons to share. I wanna make myself happy with them! Also, the works of others motivate me too. Whenever I see a really good fic or writing piece online, I go, "Wow, what this person wrote was SO amazing that I want to write my own amazing thing!"

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud of; if not, share a line from someone else's work that you love (just make sure to give credit

Not only am I gonna share a snippet, I'm also gonna explain why I'm so proud of it.

Here it is:

... Brown eyes begin to sparkle at that fact. Caleb had no idea! He casts a smile down at his mother’s stomach, giving it a light pat.

“I’m so glad God decided to gift you to us, Philip,” Caleb “speaks” to his little brother.

The corners of his mouth soften.

“I can’t wait to see you.”

This is from the short, canon divergent story I wrote titled "A New Addition".

In this scene, a (I'll say 5 since I didn't state his age in the story, but you can tell he's a small child) year old Caleb has just been told by his mother where baby's come from. Heaven! They're gifts from gods (her words).

The reason I'm so proud of this piece is because I love how sweet and sincere I made Little Caleb at the end. He's just so grateful that God gave Philip as a gift to him and his family and he can't wait to see / meet him. 🥹

It shows how Caleb has always loved Philip (even in his unborn baby state).

3. Which OC makes you smile when you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Uh, CLARA EVELYN CLAWTHORNE !!! 💞 🫶🥹 💕

I LOVE HER SO MUCH (SO DOES HER BIRDIE AND HUSBAND)! 💓 💓 💓

She's a hyperactive, carefree witch who's fun-loving and adventurous. She's also very kind and caring.

4. Which process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Coming up with ideas and writing them down.

5. Which part of writing do you think you're best at? (Stroke your own ego, it's okay)

I think I'm best at making my audience have a good time! My writing, for the most part, is always fun and exciting. You'll never be bored when you read my stuff.

6. What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?

THE POSITIVITY POSTS THAT PEOPLE MAKE!!! I LOVE REBLOGGING THEM!!! I love how uplifting they are. Whenever I'm feeling down about my work, I go back to read them. They kinda inspire me to maybe make my own writer positivity blog. Maybe one day.😌

7. A writing tool/device that helps you with writing (i.e. text-to-speech, a program, etc...)

THE GOOGLES.

8. A piece of world-building that you like in your own story (it could be the magic system, a particular place, a law, etc...)

I don't really create my own worlds, but I do like adding a sense of cartooniness / cartoon logic to existing ones lol.

9. What piece of advice would you give to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

No matter what. <3 I know I won't. 😋

10. Tag some people whose work you love/ have been your biggest supporters

Easy:

@queenspinoodle

@princessrainbowpastel

@elusive---ivory

@angelcloves

@ren-c-leyn

@nightsoulvixen (I'm not sure if you write Roya, but you're always supporting me and I ❤️ you for that. <3)

[ukiyowi]

Hello, I'm C. If your free readings are open, may i ask for one please? I'm a bit old and I've been single for over a decade or two due to circumstances. However I do want to have a forever partner and get married to him, and have a life together. I'm also child free i.e. never had any children by choice. And even though I was very broody for just a couple of years, I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't want any children and this decision has made me feel very liberated! And I'm glad that i didn't go through any kind of process in the previous years to get a child. I love babies, but that's quite literally the only stage that I love of having a kid, nothing beyond that, lol. So I wanted to know, whether in future will I have a husband for me and will he be happily child free as well? I don't want to be a step-parent btw, whether of younger or older kids, nor do I want to adopt. I just want me and my husband and a dog or two, and our happy, cozy retired life (maybe babysitting our friends' kids once a while, lol). Thanks a lot for this opportunity! Emoji - 💓

Hello! Thank you so much for your patience!

The cards i pulled for this question is the sun, 6 of pentacles and 9 of coins. The sun is a card of warmth, happiness and abundance, it shows that this relationship will bring a lot of joy and fulfillment to your life. The 6 of pentacles shows that this relationship can be based on sharing and giving to one another, including sharing values, it can also show you and your partner being supportive of each others endeavors, this is a card of giving and taking, but with balance, so it is very possible that your husband will want to be andbe child-free as well, he may be slightly younger too. The 9 of coins shows that this relationship will be based on hard work and dedication, which will lead to prosperity and success.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello AJ. Shy anon here.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your advice was incredibly eye opening. What you said about trade offs made me realize that I was having such a hard time because I was trying to be everywhere and do everything perfectly. And that's not possible. Woh sirf tv serials mein ho sakta hai. Real life mein nahin.

And I didn't really realize this at all about myself until I showed my husband your reply and he explained to me with examples from things we've been through, that I've always been a bit of a perfectionist and I have a really hard time with acknowledging that I can't do everything and everything won't go my way.

I always knew I was a control freak and it's a flaw I've really been trying to work on but the perfectionism really caught me off guard. And I kind of broke down again. But my husband very sweetly explained that the perfectionism has never bothered him because he sees it as me being passionate and caring about the people around me a lot. But he also was like "too much of anything isn't good so I'm hoping to help you to not be so hard on yourself "

I even opened up to my mother in law about all of this and to my surprise she said she hasn't felt abandoned by me at all. Maa told me she's proud that I chose to go back to work for the family and she said she knows how much I love her and how hard it is for me to leave all the housework to her. We also came up with a system like you suggested where we both decided we'll make and have breakfast together before I go to work.

It's still really hard and that itch to do more and be more present at home is still there. And understandably so because I can't exactly just flip a switch. It'll take time to come to terms with all of this. But l followed a lot of the advice you gave me because it was good advice and I'm really glad I reached out to you. You and your mutuals are always so understanding and sweet. Thank you so much for always making me feel so welcome and comfortable.

I'm also feeling incredibly blessed that I have such a loving and supportive family. And since they're so understanding and supportive communication has really been the key.

I'm so sorry for always rambling on so much about my life on your blog. And thank you so much for always reading and replying to my messages.

PS: Judging by just how much I open up and talk here I feel like the name shy anon no longer suits me. Perhaps it's time to reveal my actual name to you?

Bye 🥰

Dearest Shy Anon!

I am so happy for you! Actually now the name Shy Anon itself means so much ☺️ sometimes a good conversations resolves the most complicated situations 🫂

I am trying to understand the world a little bit every day and I’m glad I could be of help :) actually sab kuch karna tv shows main bhi nahi hota.

Most the issues our characters face because they do want to do everything and that’s impossible.

Happiness comes with prioritizing because perfection is truly a myth. And perfection doesn’t allow collaboration, does not allow teamwork to happen. And a family sustains on collaboration 😊

Trust me I empathize on doing everything perfectly and more than often my good friends have gently told me that that perhaps causes more harm than good 🫂

I am glad to always hear from you. In a way it’s such a sweet thing for my blog is a sweet documentation of the beautiful events of your life! I got to know you, you got proposed, married!, moved to a new city, but adjustment issues and resolution! It feels emotional 🥹

Lots of love to you, you have this beautiful way of conveying about your life without burdening me. It’s reminiscent of having a cup of chai in the evening with a neighbour and sharing sukh-dukh ki baatein. You share your life in a way of sharing company, not as a ramble where you’re ignorant of the other person and I think that matters the most 🫂

We all love having you around!

Much love,

- AJ

[anonymousleekao3]

You are an incredible gifted artists and I treasure every story you came up with and wrote and gifted us all with the amazing imagination and talent. Your writing and your art are precious and treasured by many of us.

all the love and support <3

sorry i am so much time away - school and work basically suck the life and energy out of me buuuuut whenever I feel depleted, coming here and seeing your amazing art and reading for the countless time your stories, they help.

Hydra Husbands fans stick together *hugs*

Thank you so much, both for the kind words and for taking the time to say them. I am most touched and humbled. 💕 I'm sorry my reply has taken a long time. I wasn't sure what to say.

I can't wait to get back to reading fic (after my work is finished later this year) and finding out what you and everybody else have been up to while I've been busy! I am saving up all the delightful fic to read like a hoard of sweeties.

You deserve rest after school and work. There's no rush.

I am glad you find fandom fic and art restorative. I find it soothing to make things, so there will be more (maybe too many?) but it is terrifying to share them, especially when they are different from what other people make, and sometimes different from what they like. Your enthusiastic love for things is very valuable, and it makes me happy to see.

[alaurableness]

I went through my blog yesterday on a quest to make my more personal posts private (because, you know, they probably don't need to be public to anyone on the Internet, even on Tumblr, where most people in my life don't know I have a presence (shoutout to you special people who do)), and I was just struck by how much my life has changed and how different things are since I last shared about my life on here.

There's the external things that are different. Like the fact that I got my M.Div finally after five years this spring. And like the fact that I got married this summer to the most wonderful man I've ever known who really loves and cherishes me and whom it is my honor and privilege to love and cherish in return, for the rest of my life. There's the fact that I got a new job a few years ago now that I really enjoy, where I get to work with inspiring and wonderful believing people who support my work and empower me to do it well.

But it's the internal things that really stand out to me. Reading my old posts, so many of them were so full of hope and despair, sadness and longing and disappointment and excitement and panic, swinging on a pendulum from extreme high to extreme low with each potential love that never went anywhere. There's an extent to which that's just part of the human experience, and part of what romance is like when you're young. But mixed in was a lot of unresolved grief and pain.

And a lot of that unresolved grief and pain really has been healed these last few years. It turns out that love, true and healthy, doesn't leave you guessing. It doesn't seek to confuse you, and it doesn't lead you on. It seeks after you. It means what it says and says what it means. It isn't afraid to be known for what it is. It delights in you, treasures you, cherishes and defends and protects you. It supports and cheers you on. It gives of itself for your good and flourishing.

I'd long been told that God's love is like that, but these last few years I've really begun to experience it that way, and to recognize when I've embraced a counterfeit. These last two years with my husband, I've learned that good men really do exist who can image God's love to you in wonderfully moving and healing ways.

Cynicism is a disease of this age. It's easy to let our woundings and our disappointments and our rage harden us into cynics that no longer believe true love exists. But it does. My friends, don't give up on love; it has not given up on you. It will continue to run after you all the days of your life. All you have to do is turn around, and receive it.

This blog has been a wonderful haven of sharing ideas and laughter and experiences with friends and strangers. I'm glad to see this platform is so unchanged. I don't log in on here much anymore, but I'm thankful for the years of memories this place has recorded. If you're reading this, and were a part of my hey days on here, whether through my fandom screaming, my IB studying, my college angsting, and my seminary stressing: Thank you for being a part of it.

Cheers to further up and further in, beloved.

Laura

[mlmxreader]

Hello! I hope you are well, my friend 🖤!

This shall be the dual review/raving/scream-crying of Wayne-Pennyworth and Better Together.

Wayne-Pennyworth: simply put, I Love. That's it, that's my TEDTalk.

Alfred had been the closest thing you could have called a father for years; you were only a few years younger than Bruce, but just like him, Alfred had taken you under his wing when you were only a little scrapper.

My darling Alfred!! What an amazing man indeed!!!

Sneaky date night with Bane! But I don't know.... I think your father knows, sir, that little pause before asking of he needed anything has me sus!!

“I’m quite happy with it - it lets me catch up on Downton… will you be needing anything?”

Him catching reader in his arms A+. Cheeky comments by reader, oh I dunno, thought you were busy... 🤣

Bane: don't be a tease

Us: WE WILL DO NO SUCH THING!! WE ARE LITTLE SHIT AND YOU LOVE US FOR IT!!

Ahh the little moment near the stream, back pressed into his chest 😍.

It wouldn’t take long, but your arms were around his stomach and your head was on his shoulder. Bane wanted to stay like that forever, if he could have

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 my sweets, my darling, same.

“We are,” Bane insisted. “My dear, if anyone ever tried to hurt you - you know I would break them. I would be their reckoning.”

JSKSJSKKSLSKJ

Bane took your hand in his as he clenched his jaw a little. “I promise. I won’t even hurt Bruce, when I bring down Gotham and I kill the corruption and greed - I will not lay a hand on him. For you.”

The love. The restraint. The promise. 😘😘😘 I was getting a little worried reading up to that point that they wouldn't be able to work it out but boy am I glad they did!! But Bane understands, he loves his family, he would never abandon them and on some level, that fierce loyalty is something that probably had a hand in drawing Bane towards reader as well. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Better Together: same as above. I LOVE them, your honour. In addition to that: you almost broke my heart with that first paragraph 😫!!

Reader screaming for everyone to fuck off because he wasn't going to leave Banes side. Yeah, exactly! FUCK OFF, CAUSE WE ARE NOT LEAVING OUR BLOODY MAN TO DIE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR!

“Absolutely not,” you hissed, pushing him up and pinning him by his shoulders so he couldn’t do anything but look at you. “You don’t have my permission to die.”

🥹🥹🥹 don't you dare fucking die. I will fucking cry. I do not cry but I will fraking cry a stream of tears such that it would put floods to shame, like real full on tears of flipping sadness.

“You are my husband, just as I’m yours” you scoffed. “If I’m dying, you’re dying with me - not without me.”

You better fucking listen to that Bane, otherwise hubby is going to raise you from the dead to kill you himself! After he kills the fucker that hurt you!!

Bane would be lost without you, his favourite person in the world; his husband

🥲

But with each second and each new breath, he was steadily gaining his strength back; he didn’t need your support to sit up. [...] You wouldn’t have to know what life apart would feel like. 

Fucking good. That is what I needed because you made me FEEL with this one. Injured Bane is going to make me cry 😫😭

I did not know if you were going to go the evil route and just kill him off, the way that my breath freaking caught, I can NOT!

Thank you oh so very much for writing these🖤🖤🖤!!

🐍anon

hi!!! I'm about to leave for the cinema so I'm excited!!!

Wayne-Pennyworth;

Alfred's a fucking badass. he absolutely knows what's going on. but, that's his son - regardless of the fact that they don't share blood, THAT IS HIS SON, HE RAISED HIM. he KNOWS him well enough to know that he's running off to see Bane; he just also knows that Bane's not gonna hurt him, so he'll keep his mouth shut and won't tell Bruce.

Alfred wants to watch Downton Abbey, that's all he wants in life rn. just to sit back and watch his silly little TV show about rich blorbos. BUT he will also drop EVERYTHING for his son, even if he does know that his son's gonna be fine bc he raised him.

Bane loves the reader and knows him well enough that he can TELL he's gotta catch him before he does something stupid lmfao dude might've been raised by THE Alfred Pennyworth but Alfred's kids don't exactly turn out to be geniuses (*cough* Bruce *cough*).

Bane means BUSINESS when it comes to his husband; anyone fucks w him, it's a bloodbath. except Bruce, bc Bane's aware that that's his brother-in-law.

Bane understands loyalty better than probably anyone else, he wouldn't hold it against his husband, even if he DOES hate corruption and capitalism, he can't fault his husband for being Bruce Wayne's brother, and he won't either.

Better Together;

they got that "we're in the trenches" vibe 😫

Bane telling other people they need HIS permission to die, but he needs his bf's.... poetry.

he WOULD kill him himself if he died 💀💀💀 they got the "if you dying, you dying with me" thing going on dhfkskfkskfks

hurt!Bane ft a VERY protective bf 👀

anyways you're SO welcome!!! and thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[asexual-society]

Asexuality and Me (It's Kind of a Long Story) by @darcyshire

I had my first boyfriend when I was in my early teens. He was a good friend, we got along very well, and he remains to this day very special to my heart. We were together for just a few months — not so uncommon for a junior high relationship — and I broke up with him because I was pretty sure he was going to try to kiss me. Not anything more than that, nothing “too far” for a pair of 13-year-olds, but that was too much for me. I apologized profusely, and he was upset because he didn’t understand what the issue was — because I couldn’t tell him. It sounded so dumb.

I had a few more boyfriends in the next couple years, and every time it was the same: if I felt that things were moving past holding hands or hugs, I ended the relationship. I was a serial dumper, never the “dumpee”. 

When I made it to high school, I had a group of friends, some of whom identified as lesbians. I was intrigued by the comfort they had in their relationships with other girls, so I wondered, “Am I maybe gay, and that’s why I keep breaking up with boys?” I thought about it and realized that no, I did often find myself having crushes on boys I knew well and enjoyed the company of. I also had those feelings for a few girls I knew well. I toyed with “bisexual” as a label, and used that privately, in my own head only, until I came across the term “pansexual” online, which I felt was a perfect description of the feelings I was having (minus the sex part). Gender didn’t matter when it came to crushes; I liked who I liked, and that was that.

When I had my first “real” boyfriend, I was 15. He asked before he kissed me the first time, and it turned out that I didn’t hate it. I did hate when he brought up sex. At the time, I was involved in my church, and I was opposed to sex outside of marriage, so the idea of going against that was upsetting. I wanted him to stay with me, so I went along with some of what he wanted — and it made me feel disgusting. Same thing with my next boyfriend; I dreaded anything to do with sex. I thought about whether it might feel different if I was with a girl instead, but with my involvement in a fairly conservative church community, I felt it wasn’t safe to try. 

When I met my now-husband, I felt none of the pressures I had felt before. He quickly became my best friend, and we got along incredibly well. He and I had similar values when it came to saving sex for marriage, so I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of our relationship. We dated for 4 years before we got married, and I was absolutely, 100% sure that marrying him was what I wanted, and what would make me happy. Our pre-marital counsellor had asked if waiting for sex had been difficult; my husband said yes, and I said absolutely not. I truly spent no time thinking about it. As our wedding date approached, however, I started to get very anxious. So much so that my own therapist suggested not “doing the deed” on our wedding night, to take the pressure off and make the experience less nerve-wracking. (I ignored her recommendation, and everything went mostly fine.)

For the first few weeks of our marriage, I was pretty indifferent about sex. I wasn’t interested in it, but my husband was, so I participated at his request. It wasn’t exciting or enjoyable for me, but it wasn’t something I was terrified of until a few months later, when I started having feelings of deep distress afterwards. I would wait for him to fall asleep, and would go out into our living room and cry; sometimes I had thoughts about self-harm or suicide. I became deeply depressed (more than I had ever been before, as depression has been a part of my life for many years), and my husband noticed that I was never initiating intimate experiences. We were married in August 2019, and the last time we had sex was February 2020, because I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stop asking myself what was wrong with me. What was broken? Was it because of my previous relationships? Was my depression making me frigid? (Of course, I never considered the fact that sex had been of no interest to ever, even when everyone around me was thinking about it constantly). 

[This is a long story, so my apologies that it’s a bit rambling. Now to the good stuff!]

I was scrolling Tumblr in the early months of 2020, and I came across the term “asexual”. I’d not really heard much about it before, but from the short description, it seemed like it fit my experience. I did some online searches, and came across a document from AsexualityArchive.com called “Asexuality: A Brief Introduction.” I read the whole thing in an afternoon and found myself literally crying, because I felt so relieved. I learned that day that there was nothing wrong with me, that there were other people who also had no interest in sex — some were even repulsed by the very idea of taking part in sexual experiences, like I was. I told my husband, fearing he would leave me, and he was incredibly loving, gracious, and accepting. He loves me for my personality, not for what I can offer him sexually.

I started using the label “asexual”, (‘ace’ for short), and felt really comfortable in that. When I learned about the split-attraction model that many aspec folx use, I changed my labels to “panromantic/asexual” (pan-ace), because that fit even better. When I began to question my own experience of gender and sexuality, and got involved with the rainbow community, I decided that “queer ace” was the best fit of all, and that’s where I’m at today. I’ve come out to my family as queer, and was unfortunately outed to my husband’s (conservative Christian) family before I was ready, but after the fact, I am glad the people closest to me know that being queer is am important part of my identity. 

Only my husband, my mom, and a few close female friends know about my asexuality (outside of the online queer communities I’m a member of), because I’m tired of hearing people say things like, “maybe it’s just your depression”, or “you should see your doctor about that”. Plus, it’s mine and my husband’s private business how we conduct our sex life, not anyone else’s. I didn’t know there was a word for people like me until early 2020, but I’ve been ace my whole life; looking back on things now, I can find many indicators of asexuality starting from before I was even a teen. 

I’m now 24 years old and a proud member of the queer and aspec communities. I hope that my story might give hope to others who have been asking themselves why they have so little interest in sex. It’s not a defect — it’s just the way we were made. As a person of faith, this realization has meant the world to me.