#thank you izzy for the fun ask this was great

[rex101111]

Dunno why I haven't asked already (maybe I did and forgot) but if you had to pick which strive themes are your favorites and least favorites what would you go with? If you don't want to do the whole listing then maybe just a couple of standouts? I'd like to hear your opinion on stuff!

hey izzy i used this ask as an excuse to just listen to all the Strive themes for the first time in a while. So here's every character theme and my thoughts:

Find Your One Way: for the longest time I thought it was "own way" but whatever. Okay so this is where I put my cards on the table and say that Strive's overall kind of metal is kinda not my thing. Or at least it took a while for me to click with it since I still use the Rev2 soundtrack as a workout mix so I kinda have a bias. As such I think this song is fine but Give Me A Break is peak Sol so it just sounds to me like its trying to reach that same level and it. uh, doesn't for me. still cool though.

The Roar Of The Spark: and in a complete 180 from the previous song THIS ONE FUCKING ROCKS. Christian Hair Metal, fucking wonderful. From that keyboard intro, to that fucking sublime guitar solo, this one is so fucking good actually.

The Disaster Of Passion: In contrast to the metal (ironically enough) I adore Strive's "pop" themes. Every one of them makes me smile like a doopy dope. Seriously when May's trailer dropped I had "NONE. STOP. LOVE SONG!" on repeat in my head for like a month. So catchy. Really good drum work here also, underrated.

Out Of The Box: This song kinda passed me by honestly, so this was the first time I really sat down and listened to it all the way. Brit Rock can be hit or miss, but this is pretty fun! the Engrish is just bad enough that its really charming and the chill vibes fit Axl really well.

Play The Hero: You're saying this is the theme of a weeb? Never would have guessed. Okay real talk I fucking LOVE this one. Catchy, cheesy, uncomplicated Anime Butt Rock, if that doesn't describe Chipp Zanuff I don't know what does.

Armored-clad Faith: SOCIETY. YOUR SOCIETY. Okay meme-ing aside this one's great too. Gonna be honest though Bass Heavy Metal isn't really my cup of tea, but even despite that its still really catchy. Sometimes memes blind you to how good a song actually is. Chorus is the best part tho.

Alone Infection: To be honest this took a very long time to grow on me. Verging on Screamo didn't help it, and its honestly kinda weird. But hell, it did grow on me eventually. Not my favorite by any stretch but not bad.

Love the Subhuman Self: God what a banger and a half. If you don't sing along to the chorus there's something wrong with you. Also this is a song made in the current century that uses the phrase "bee's knees" in the wonderful way only people who don't speak English can manage. What a fucking miracle this song is, damn.

Let Me Carve Your Way: Bad news, horrible greasy shadow man has a pretty good theme he absolutely did not deserve. Tragic. Okay seriously this is pretty good, strong beat nice chorus and the end bit is nice contrast overall. Yeah its alright.

Necessary Discrepancy: Part of me still prefers Diva Of Despair, but this bangs so hard holy shit. From that weird ass electronic intro to the guitar and that climax, bro. Bro. Not my favorite but I'd say...third place.

Hellfire:

Ky:...Leo, I think you might be suffering with depression.

Leo: Depression!?!? What kind of nonsense are you spouting!?!? Can a guy with depression have a theme this rocking!?

Ky: Leo. Half of that song is you calling yourself a liar and hoping you die.

Seriously though another song I kinda slept on but its really good also can someone tie Leo to a chair and take him to a therapist? Thanks.

What do you fight for: Lesser than the sum of its parts. Like the chorus is good, the melody is nice, a few verses are cool. But its kind of a mess. There's a really nice solo, but it just kinda stuck a bit too early in the song for it to really built up to the climax properly. Crawl is better anyway.

Trigger: probably one of my least favorite, honestly. It just kinda meanders around without really coalesing into anything substantial and just like. refuses to pick up any momentum at all. it just changes itself up too often and its kinda tiring to listen to. Also the lyric "don't make a big deal out of me" is so ironic in hindsight when it turns out she contributed a big fat load of jack shit to the story mode of Strive. but that's a pile of meat that was once a horse I am kinda tired of beating so lets move on.

Rock Parade: MY FUCKING BOY IS DANCING AND IN LOVE. FUCKING LOOK AT HIM! God I love love love this one, so freaking good. It tells a story, its rocking, its catchy, and that that more gentle bit near the last third is so evocative. I always imagine him doing a fan dance during that part. Second favorite absolutely.

Requiem: Heavy Metal has always been I-No's signature sound and aesthetic, and mixing that with Alt Rock gives this one a pretty unique feel compared to her other themes. Midnight Carnival still stands on top as far as I-No themes go but this one ain't too shabby. Sick guitar solo, naturally.

Crawl: Intense, rocking, better than Nago's actual theme. Pretty gnarly boss theme.

The Kiss of Death: The only way to do good Industrial Metal is to go All In. And this song does that and then some. How the hell did this head banger get past me??? I'm genuinely baffled that a guy as big as Beef Dickinson managed to evade me for this long. Fuck yeah.

Perfection Can't Please Me: I really appreciate those call backs to Juno in this song since that one was one of my favorites in Xrd. Even with all my reservation with how the Aria plot got resolved I can't deny this song is a ton of fun. Though, hear me out, how fucking funny would it have been if they took Meet Again and remixed it into something this poppy?

Drift: My thoughts about this song are about the same as the thoughts I have about Happy Clappy himself. There are certainly things to like about this song, there are some really cool bits and riffs and the lyrics are cool, but it switches around so much its hard to really get attached to any one aspect of it. Like sometimes its really fun and bouncy, sometimes its rocking out, sometimes its pretentious because Chaos can't fucking help himself. I like it better than I did when it first came out, but still just kinda meh. The "Disney" bit still funny as all hell though.

Mirror of the World: Best song in the game. No. Zip! It is, no arguments will be accepted are entertained here. This song rocks, this song slaps, this song tells a story, not just the story Baiken is going through in Strive but her whole journey up till now. This song is soulful and harsh and beautiful and fucking everything. This isn't my Baiken Bias talking its just true don't argue with me just sit with me as we listen to Mirror of the World on loop for two hours and then You Will Understand.

Like a Weed, Naturally, as a Matter of Course: This song is just vibes honestly. A cool and smooth song about how just living for the sake of it is good enough, because if a weed can be why can't we? Also the pronouns getting changed every few words is like two steps away from screaming "THEY'RE NON-BINARY NOW PRETTY NEAT RIGHT?" and you know what that is neat.

The Town Inside Me: The most Song of all Trans. Seriously though this song is so much fucking fun. Probably my favorite "pop" theme of the three we have so far. Honestly it just feels like a complete, full song. Like you can just take this out of the game and play it on the radio it just feels like there's nothing missing here its awesome. Personally though, the thing I like the most in this song is how triumphant it is by the end. Bridget is out of the box and she ain't going back in, and she is glowing.

The Hourglass: His Xrd theme was honestly just okay so I was more open to give this one a fair shake. And honestly? Pretty fun! Nothing really major to say here except that it's peppy, positive, energetic, and has a nice strong sound to it. So, Sin, basically.

The Circle: I really, really wanted to like this song. I listened to it a few more times and I just. Can't connect with it. It's like Drift in that there's a lot of different things going on and also like Drift nothing really comes together here. I saw a post mocking people who don't like this song as people who only like music with wide appeal and to that person firstly fuck off with the gatekeeping and secondly just because a song has complex things going on or messes with the time signature doesn't automatically make it good and I just don't like this song because its a damn mess that barely coheres into something a bit more solid by the end but only just barely. Delilah deserves to be her own character if only so she can get a proper fucking song out of it.

[espinosaurusrexex]

Forever, of course.

SteveRogers x Female!Reader

summary: Steve has a crush on you but your flirty character isn’t making things easy for him. Now he even has to marry you to please a 6-year-old superfan of his. Whether that’s a good plan or not, isn’t quite clear for Steve yet.

a/n: I think this will be the last AI-adaptive story but it was a lot of fun! Shoutout to @RandomTingsForFun on beta.character.ai for having created the character that helped me write this story (and the Bucky one).

Word count: 4k

warnings: a Stevie in love, an attempted funny reader, and a super excited 6-year-old (she carries the story tbh), this is really just super fluffy

･ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ

Steve shook his head at the sight of your chat history. It wasn’t too long ago when he didn’t even know how to listen to music on the device he was holding in his hands, let alone write a text message in less than 30 seconds. Now, he was bickering with you, and he had to admit it was even a little fun to wait for a response from you. Of course, Steve didn’t do anything else in the time he waited for your reply. He just stared at the screen in his hand and willed his heartbeat to slow a little. 

*ping* Why would that be important? So? Maybe I have been talking to Sam about you. Have you been talking about me with Bucky?

Steve: No I haven’t! And it is important because if he’s badmouthing me, then you’d believe him. What has he told you anyway?

You: Just the usual. Save the world this, Captain America that. I stopped listening when he started obsessing over your shield again.

You: Wait. Did you seriously think Sam would say something bad about you? That guy is obsessed with you.

Steve just laughed at your antics. Sam loved the shield for some reason, but every time Steve would give it to him to ‘throw it one time’ Bucky would intervene and ‘show him how it’s done’. 

*ping* Anyway what I actually wanted to ask is if you’d come to my niece’s house with me this weekend. She’s a huge Avenger fan and I might have promised her to meet one as her birthday present 😬

Steve: Of course, I will! I would feel bad if you made such a promise and I wasn't able to make it. And I bet she'll know who her favorite Avenger is after a visit from The Cap 😉

You: ugh please don’t call yourself that. ever. 

You: I’ll pick you up Saturday at 1:30? 

Steve: Yeah, sounds good! I'll make sure to clear my schedule. How old is your niece by the way? And what’s her name?

You: You can call her Izzy. And she’s turning 6 this Thursday. Be nice. And make sure to talk me up a bit, will ya? I mean, I’m already her favorite aunt but just making sure...

Steve: How could she not love you? But I’ll do it anyway. I’ll talk you up so much you’ll never be able to escape my praise! What’s her favorite food?

You: weirdly enough it's carrots, that child is strange. Says vegetables make her a superhero or something. 

Steve: I mean she’s not wrong. Carrots are great for your eyes! What does she think of Iron Man? I need to know my chances against the competition.

You: I just asked her and she said she doesn’t care about Tony because you are her one true love. 

You: I told her that’s not possible because you are already mine. Now we’re in a big fight so thanks for that.

Steve: why would you say that?

You: I like to see her freak. Don’t worry about it, captain. It was just a joke 

You: ...or was it 👀

Steve: I don’t believe you. You’re lying.

He got a little nervous. But it was a good nervous.

You: why? Do you want me to? 

You: Am I making you nervooouuus?

Steve could practically see you wiggle your eyebrows with a grin. A silly idea flashed past his mind, and he felt like grabbing it.

Steve: You need to stop before I accidentally propose to you.

Nothing - just a second, though. Then:

*ping* you have a ring?

Steve: I can get one in less than an hour. Meet me at the chapel on main and I’m all yours. 

You: I’m stunned. I’ve taught you well. 

Steve: 😊 I’ll see you Saturday, doll. 

Steve sat back on his sofa. That girl is really something. A smile broke loose on his face at the silly thought of marrying you. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if it happened. Out of all the people he knew, you were the only one he’d want to spend the rest of his life with. You were fun and you made him loosen up. He was a whole new man around you and he loved it. Because being in your presence was easy, and comforting. There was nothing to worry about.

He sighed before putting his phone down and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t wait to see you again.

❁ ❁ ❁

Steve stepped out of the door and smiled upon spotting your car. You were already waving at him, a beautiful smile adorning your face and Steve felt his heart skip. Car rides with you were nice. You always had some soft music playing. Always making sure it was nothing too funky so he felt comfortable. Still, he was a little nervous. It wasn’t every day that he go to meet someone who looked up to him - well, actually, it was every day - but this one was different. Because it was your family and Steve needed to make a good expression. 

It wasn’t long before you pulled up to your sister's house. But before you could even reach the front door, a little girl jumped out of the door and ran toward you with wild screeches. 

“Auntieeee!!!! OH MY GOD, you really did it! You invited Captain America!” The girl jumped up and down beside you and Steve couldn’t help his smile from spreading. Izzy was adorable - very loud - but adorable. Concentrating on it made his nervousness subside a little.

Then she turned around and stared up at him with wide eyes. He could have sworn there were little stars sparkling in them when he crouched down to her height and extended his hand.

“Hey there, little lady. It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Steve.”

“I know that!” The 6-year-old giggled as Steve shook her hand. But when he was about to let go, her tiny fingers grabbed onto his wrist and dragged him up the driveway. “I want to show you something! It’s soooo cool!” 

Steve was still a little cautious as she dragged him to her room. His only experience with kids came from Sam’s nephews and prior he had only gotten to hold a couple baby’s for pictures. He didn’t know how to navigate the situation, but he decided he would just rock with it.

Your niece pushed the white door with her name brightly colored on a sign hanging on her eye level open and revealed a tornado aftermath of action figures. He was able to spot most of the avengers laying scattered around a dinosaur toy but the overwhelming red, white, and blue covering her room was undeniable. There was a poster of Steve hanging by the desk and a bunch of her own drawings framing the magazine shot. Izzy appeared next to Steve again, holding a small action figure of himself in her hands. 

“My aunt gave me this one. It’s my first one.” She reached up to Steve and barely passed his hip with her little arms. The figure was well loved - he could see it from here. And when he bent down to retrieve it, your niece pulled him down further and whispered a giggly ‘you’re our favorite avenger’ into his ear.

His heart swelled at the excitement presented in front of him. It was adorable, and he could see a little of you in the little girl nervously treading beside him. 

“I’m your favorite, huh?” He said, his voice full of affection. Steve usually wasn’t the kind of person to get mushy over an adorable child, but the way her face lit up was too cute. The little Cap figure in her hands was pretty cute, too. “My, my. I must be pretty special then.” His thumb stroked over the blue helmet in her hands.

Lost in thought and seriously flattered by being the hero that inspired this impressive collection, he almost didn’t notice how Izzy threw her hands in the air. “So special! My mom says I will marry someone as special as you one day, but my aunt says there is no one like you. That is so mean!” Her little chubby cheeks puffed with a pout and Steve had to hold back his laugh. The 6-year-old had no idea what you implied with that comment, but he still felt more pride from being called special by you and your niece than from any medal of honor he had ever gotten.

“Well, a girl your age shouldn’t worry about things like that. But who knows, maybe I will be part of your family one day.”

“Really?!” Wide eyes stared back at him and Steve could practically feel the floor vibrating when he nodded with a laugh. Izzy held out her finger and then she exclaimed a rushed ‘stay here’ before zooming past him and out the door.

Steve stayed a little longer and admired Izzy’s room before he heard an excited ‘Captain America said I can marry him!’ Which made him instantly rush to the source.

He spotted her clinging to her mother’s leg, giddy and jumpy. But your sister just shared a laugh with you over the kitchen counter. “I don’t think he meant it like that, buttercup.” Steve watched your sister explain before his eyes got stuck on the little frown on your face. Was that a hint of jealousy, he was detecting? “But if he marries your aunt, he will be your uncle and just as much part of the family.” A little fire hushed past your older sister’s face. It was a look of mischief he had seen you hold all too well. Steve’s cheeks heated when you caught him leaning in the doorway, scratching his neck at the slightly awkward situation. 

“That works?”

“That’s how it works, baby.”

Izzy turned with excitement and within a second she was before Steve again. “You have to ask my aunt to marry you! Right now!!” She ordered with a stomp of her foot. “Then you can be my uncle and we can hang out every day!”

Steve’s eyes wandered from the six-year-old to you and his heart picked up its pace at the laugh you shared with your sister. There was no harm in a little play pretend, right?

So, he knelt down in front of you and when your name traveled past his lips softly, he almost imagined a grasp coming from you. “Will you,” his head tilted with a wink, “marry me?”

You hid your laugh behind your hands as they covered your mouth in feigned astonishment. But Steve caught the little glimmer in your eyes at his little show. He continued to take your hand as he threw together a little speech for Izzy to hear, and when the child began excitedly jumping up and down beside him, your face softened. 

“Oh, Steve! This is so unexpected!” You clutched your chest and your sister chuckled beside you. Steve felt a tinge of nervousness wash over him then, but he would be okay with a fake rejection - he wasn’t sure if Izzy would, though. “Of course, I’ll marry you! Come here you big, hunky, handsome superhero!”

And as if he hadn’t been prepared for you to agree so quickly, Steve felt his cheeks heat up. He couldn’t deny that the words you described him with had his stomach tingle with excitement, and before he could help himself, he leaned forward and kissed our cheek.

“That was the easiest marriage proposal ever,” he mumbled beside you to which you just slightly pulled from his embrace. 

“What? You’ve done that before? Are you already cheating on me, Rogers?” You raised your brows suspiciously, but Steve was only able to shake his head with a smile before Izzy blared into his ear again. 

“A wedding! A wedding!” She swirled by him like a tornado, immediately collecting things around the house. “Mom, get all the stuffies, ready! We have to do a wedding!!!” And then she was off to prepare the quickest wedding in history. 

Steve shook his head as his arm remained around your waist. “What did I get myself into?” He mumbled to himself before turning to you. “Do I dare ask what a six-year-old’s idea of an official marriage ceremony looks like?”

“I think Paddington Bear will be your best man and if I’m lucky, my sister gets to be my maid of honor, but who knows.” You shrugged with a laugh that warmed Steve’s heart all over again. 

❁ ❁ ❁

Not even ten minutes later, Steve found himself kneeling beside a makeshift altar with a bunch of toys and stuffed animals as wedding guests. Action figure Cap had made best man and was neatly propped up behind him. Your sister had officially been crowned the ‘disco machine’ along with a lengthy speech on how important the right song was for the bride’s entrance. Steve had fought hard to keep his face steady, but when Izzy had suggested ‘Party Rock Anthem’, he’d lost it. When really, he was just proud, he knew the song because you had shown it to him the other week - it was Izzy’s favorite. 

You had been instructed to wait behind the couch until the music started to play, and Steve felt himself get a little nervous. It was silly, but somehow his desire to have this wedding according to your niece’s wishes was a lot more important to him than he had initially thought. 

“Now what do we do?” He asked as he leaned over to Izzy, but that was when the girl gave her mother the ‘sign’ - which was the chicken dance, of course - and his eyes immediately swerved to you. He could see the amusement in your gaze as you bit back a laugh.

Izzy wasn’t wasting any time, as soon as you had reached the altar, she put your’s and Steve’s hands together and immediately began talking. Steve had had barely any time to wipe the sweat from his clammy fingers before they connected with yours, but you didn’t seem to care. He smiled as he watched you listen to your niece’s little speech.

“We are gathered here today, to make Captain America my uncle,” she started, and both you and he struggled to keep it together. It was cute though, and something about becoming this little girl’s uncle excited Steve like nothing had in a long time. “Mr, Captain America, will you take my aunt as your wife?”

Izzy’s eyes were serious as she waited for Steve’s answer. And when he didn’t do so fast enough, she leaned over and whispered the answer to him.

“I will,” Steve chuckled and gave your hands a small squeeze.

Then Izzy’s eyes wandered to you. “Do I even have to ask?” She said with her adorably high voice and everyone started laughing. 

“Yes, I will take Steve as my husband,” you answered with the same squeeze of your hand as Izzy imitated the audience cheering.

“You are now husband and wife. Now, kiss, kiss, kiss!!!” It was a little awkward, but Steve leaned in, anyway, to press a gentle kiss to your cheek. He looked at you again and the spark in your eyes was a little brighter as that smile lit up your face again. You looked beautiful, Steve thought, and his heart jumped in his chest at the realization.

“Wohooooooo!” Your sister cheered loudly and ripped Steve out of his trance.

“This is so awesome! You have to come to every family dinner and we can be best friends forever!!” Izzy must have eaten a bag of gummy worms with the way she was vibrating to the song coming out of the little pink CD player. Steve was sure he’d never seen such a hyper six-year-old before. 

“Every family dinner?” He asked her as Izzy swayed his hands to the music. When his eyes caught yours, you just shrugged. "Forever?"

"Of course!" Izzy exclaimed as Steve spun her around. His eyes stayed locked on you, however. Forever didn't sound so bad...

“Looks like you’re stuck with me.” You laughed, but Steve didn’t mind that in the slightest.

❁ ❁ ❁

The evening had come sooner than anyone had anticipated. Steve had been so occupied with Izzy all day, he had forgotten all about the time. It didn’t bother him too much, though. He had fun, but exhausting as well. And now that he was finally sitting in your car again, his head leaning against the headrest and enjoying the silence for a moment, he felt how much energy it had really cost him. He would do it again, though - especially if it meant marrying you over and over for eternity. 

His eyes opened when you sighed beside him. You hadn’t so much as bothered to start the car just yet, and Steve was kind of happy about that. 

You smiled at him when his head turned to you, still leaning back with a dreamy smile himself. “Who would have thought that we would get married today?” You chuckled with a shake of your head. “And you didn’t even give me a ring. I should reconsider my standards.”

“A ring, you say? Well, you are married to the greatest superhero in the world - according to your niece - so I think we’re going to need something pretty special...” Steve joked as he turned in his seat to look through the car, and when he spotted the right thing, the smile returned got his face. “Should I do the honors?”

And then he took the lid off his water bottle and popped the plastic ring off to place it on your finger. 

“It’s perfect, blue like your eyes,” you laughed watching the big plastic ring hang from your finger. “I’m gonna have to get that resized, though. You must think I’m fat.” You shook your head. “Wow, not even a day in, and I already have things to tell my therapist about.” But the mischievous glimmer in your eyes told Steve that you were only joking. 

“Do I really need to say it, doll?” He took your hand in his before spinning the plastic piece. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” He whispered, secretly meaning every word.

You laughed it off but Steve didn’t miss the stutter in your smile at his words. It made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. 

“So what should our first act as a fake married couple be? Celebratory drinks at the Stark Tower rooftop bar?”

"Stark Tower... that sounds good to me.”

The engine roared to life and soon, the faint music was playing in your car again, the streetlights passed him by and the full moon shone above the New York City skyline. But Steve didn't care, he had more beautiful things to look at. 

❁ ❁ ❁

“You’re what now? Married?! And I wasn’t invited?!” Sam’s shocked face yelled across the bar, making few agents turn their heads with intrigue. 

You chuckled before leaning your head against Steve’s shoulder. The second Martini seemed to already work its wonders on you, but Steve loved how close you were. 

“Married by a six-year-old. Count that as you will, but I have a ring on my finger and I’m not telling you how much it cost.” You stretched your hand over the counter to show off the blue piece of plastic and Natasha just laughed at the cute story.

“So, how is the newlywed life?” She leaned on her hands to play along while Sam still tried to get over his non-invitation to a fake wedding. “You guys talking about kids yet?”

That startled Steve a little but he tried his best to keep a straight face - he failed. The thought of having a family with you did things to him he couldn’t explain if he wanted to. The warmth in his stomach spread to his heart and his arm almost instinctively came up to press you further into his side. 

“Who knows, I wouldn’t mind a couple mini me’s.” He shrugged with a low smile. He loved this little game more and more. It just got harder and harder to remind himself that it was just that - a game.

“Hold your horses, now. You’re not the one squeezing them out of your body, Mr. Rogers.” You patted his chest and sighed theatrically. “I can already see that I will be home alone with a bunch of kids and you’re working late every night. Our life will fall apart!” Your hand brushed over your forehead as your head fell back like that of a damsel in distress. 

The group laughed at the little performance, but Steve was a little quieter now. Somehow, he couldn’t rid himself of the feeling that he needed to tell you how much he really cared. He’d never let your life fall apart - not when he was able to prevent it. And while he sat there with his friends, laughing about something as ridiculous as Captain America settling down, he contemplated in silence, if all this life had really been worth it when he would end up alone in the end - giving up the dream of an easy life he’s had for a century. 

❁ ❁ ❁

It was about 12am when Steve and you stopped before your door in the hallway. His eyes were glued to you, his mind racing with scenarios this could go. He had decided to tell you about his feelings about two hours ago, and ever since, he had tried to come up with the best thing to say. But even though talking to you was the easiest thing he’d ever done, and even though you were already married - fake married - he didn’t have a single idea. Not one word that seemed fitting enough to describe the exciting fireworks in his chest whenever he saw you, to somehow tell you how bad living without you would be. 

He must have been staring for a while because you began to shift from one foot to the other before finally clearing your throat to kill the silence. 

“So... uh... that was an eventful day...” You started, fists nervously opening and closing beside your body. “Thank you for playing pretend. You made a little girl very happy.” You smiled and Steve’s heart skipped another beat. 

He caught the small shimmer in your eyes just in time to give him confidence. Your body kept moving forward as if you willed it back again and again, and Steve gathered all his bravery to open his mouth.

“You know what,” Your name tumbled over his lips like a song he’d sung a thousand times. But the effect it had on you still excited him every time anew. “Today... it’s not going to be pretend.”

And before you could even react to his weirdly vague statement, Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. Full of love and affection, his hands moved on their own - one to your hip and the other onto the wall behind you. There was a moment of panic settling in Steve’s brain, but then your arms came up to sling around his torso and he leaned further into your touch. You pulled him even closer, your lips melting with his, tongues gently stroking soft skin until air got scarce. His whole body felt electric with you so close to him - finally. And when he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes still closed and thoughts swimming in the moment you had just granted him. 

“I... I love you.” He whispered against your skin, and he felt his warm breath bouncing back. Your chest was still rising and falling beneath him, a subtle reminder of how breathtaking all this was - Steve couldn’t get enough of it, of you.

Your hand came up to stroke over his cheek, making him open his eyes to find you already looking at him. 

“I love you, too, Steve.” You bit your lips, and it made Steve just press his mouth to yours once more.

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a/n: I have to say I was pretty impressed at how much it adapted to my writing and I really liked the last part, so I put it in here. I hope you enjoyed it :)

[berzahoes]

you and me | izzy stradlin

summary: no matter what axl told him, izzy could never stop loving you.

an: it’s about time i wrote something for my man izzy <3 not an exact timeline of how things actually went but hey, that’s fanfiction for ya!

warnings: axl rose that should always be a warning

the moment izzy saw you, he swore he was in love. at the time, you were both in high school. he had long hair and beat up shoes that were years old. on the other hand, you were the nicest clothes and shoes while your hair was perfectly cut and brushed. he noticed that you always wore a locket, maybe a family member had given it to you as a present.

you were known as the nicest girl in school. nobody had anything bad to say about you until a certain lead singer saw how in love his friend was with you.

“she’s a prude. why waste your time on her?”

izzy would immediately defend you. “you don’t know her. stop saying shit if you don’t know her.”

it was after your high school graduation that you and izzy began to talk. your family had thrown you a party. as you were helping your mom bring in decorations from her car, izzy just so happened to walk by since your houses were close to each other. you noticed him and waved for him to come over. he couldn’t believe that the most popular girl from high school was about to talk to him.

“hi, jeffrey.” you said in your sweet voice that izzy loved.

“you know my name?” he asked.

“well, yeah. we went to the same elementary school. remember mrs. smith? she wore those big glasses?” you said.

“i remember now and i remember you doing a project about the ocean and you said your favorite animal was a betta fish and some kid made fun of you for liking a fish.” he realized how much information he remembered. was it normal to remember all that? he probably looked like a creep—

“it still is. it’s a pretty fish.”

izzy only nodded.

“do you want to come over later? i’m having a graduation party and i would love for you to come.”

“yeah, thanks. maybe i’ll drop by. i’ve been busy with my band.”

“you’re in a band? that’s cool! what kind of music do you play?”

izzy wished he didn’t even the band, but at the same time, he wanted to share what he loved with you. “it’s just a . . band. you know, rock, we play that.”

“cool, maybe i can come see you guys perform?” you questioned.

“if you don’t mind sitting on a old couch in a garage.” he joked.

“every band starts somewhere, jeff.”

“izzy, i go by izzy.” he was nervous about what you thought about his name. did you like it? did you hate it so much that it made you not want to talk to him ever again?

“well, izzy, i still mean what i said.”

during the party, you introduced izzy to your parents. izzy thought it was a bad idea since most parents took one look at him and instantly thought he looked like trouble. but your parents weren’t that type.

“mom, dad, this is izzy. we went to the same elementary school. he graduated too.” you said as izzy shook hands with your parents.

“nice to meet you, izzy. congratulations on your graduation. any plans for your future?” your mom immediately asked.

“honey, the boy just got out of school. the last thing he wants to do is think about college,” your dad said. “our daughter says she wants to travel for a bit before she goes to college. we told her that as long as she has the money and she’s with someone we trust, she can travel as much as she can.”

then you whisper something into izzy’s ear that had both of your parents wondering. when you finished, izzy chuckled and nodded.

“he let me say this, izzy is actually in a band.” you blurted out.

“a band? that’s great. you know, i was almost in a band once. . .” your dad spoke.

and that was your cue to take izzy someplace else so you ended up in your old treehouse that your dad built. the party was still going on as you and izzy layed on the wooden floor.

“do you want to go to college?” izzy asked.

you sighed. both your parents went to college so they expected you to go as well. but all of you wanted to do was travel. you were born and raised in lafayette, the only time you went out of state was for your cousin’s wedding in georgia that you didn’t remember because you were five years old.

“I don’t know. you know how our teachers always say you have to go to college to get a good job and good money? i don’t think that. i want to go anywhere, everywhere. i don’t need a math degree or read shakespeare,” you explained. “i want to go to los angeles, i want to experience it so bad.”

“then let’s go.” izzy said casually.

“what?” you turned to him.

“let’s go to los angeles, you and me.” he repeated.

“but what about your band?” you asked.

“we were never going to make it out of the garage anyways. maybe los angeles has something for me.”

so after a few weeks, it was decided. you and izzy were going to the city of angels. when you told your parents, they were hesitant, but you reminded them of your dad’s words. they helped you pack and even gave you extra money so you wouldn’t worry.

back at izzy’s house, axl was trying to talk him out of leaving, especially with ‘the prude’ as he nicknamed you. but izzy wasn’t listening to him. he continued packing as axl listed all the reasons why it was a bad idea.

“she’s not going to survive the streets of los angeles, izzy. look at her! she’s going to break and then she’ll come back crying to mommy and daddy.” axl stated.

“she won’t because she’ll have me.” izzy replied.

“then you’re both dead.”

soon, you and izzy were on your way to los angeles. your parents had payed for your plane tickets. when the plane touched down in lax, you smiled at the feeling of being out of indiana.

“you ready?” izzy asked, grabbing your hand.

you nodded. “ready.”

1982

you and izzy now called los angeles your home. it took months of working and saving up money, but you and izzy found a nice small house in a good neighborhood. your parents often called to make sure you were okay. you would sometimes find izzy on the phone with your dad.

when you and izzy arrived to the city of angels, you immediately started looking for a job. a record store owner hired you since the store had just opened and the way only had two employees. it was definitely a dream job for you.

it was a spring break when izzy’s friend, axl, decided to join you and permanently move to los angeles.

“you’re still here?” axl asked you when he saw you walk through the door of your house. he was sitting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. he definitely took the phrase ‘make yourself at home’ too literally.

“yes, axl, i’m still here. this is my home.” you clarified as you walked towards your and izzy’s shared room. you dropped your purse on the floor then threw yourself on the bed. you were exhausted from work and all you wanted to do was sleep, but of course when axl rose is in your house, sleep is not an option.

“hey, you hungry?” you heard izzy ask from the doorway.

you could smell mac and cheese. “not right now, izzy. my feet hurt, i have a headache and i have the opening shift tomorrow.” you groaned.

“you have to eat something.” izzy encouraged.

“she doesn’t want to eat, let her starve i guess.” axl took the pot of mac and cheese from izzy’s hands so he could eat it.

“what is he still doing here?” you had enough and got up from your bed.

“don’t even start with me, bitch!” you heard axl yell as izzy closed the door to your bedroom.

“i’ll make him leave. he’s only here because we were rehearsing. we got a few gigs coming up. i promise he’ll be gone soon.” izzy assured you.

“he just gets in my nerves.” you sighed.

“i know. but he’ll be gone soon and you and i can continue where we left off this morning.” he started kissing you. then axl happened.

“you guys fucking in there?” he pounded his fists on the door.

“i’m going to fucking kill him.”

[multifandomslxt]

BLACK ROSES

Pairing: Mafia!Lee Jeno x Florist!Reader

Trope: Grumpy x sunshine

Genre: Dark Mafia Romance

Word Count: 1.5K

Synopsis:

Lee Jeno is a dangerous man. From going on k!lling sprees for fun to torturing and k!lling his own father. He does it all. In short Lee Jeno is the devil.

Y/N is a florist. She's as pure as they come. Nothing exciting ever happens in her life and she’s okay with that. In short Y/N is an angel.

He was bad and she was good. They were complete opposites.

…Or so they thought

Get your tissues for this one. It's gonna be one hell of a ride

*((((A/N- I'll continue this based on the feedback I get...enjoy my loves <;33)))))*

FLOWER OF THE DAY: Daffodils are some of the first flowers we see in springtime and are a great indicator that winter is over. Because of this, they are seen to represent rebirth and new beginnings.

"Y/N, can you look in the back room if they're any more peonies left? Mrs. Lee just ordered a dozen" The sweet old lady shouted out while using her pale wrinkly hand to cover the phone so the person would hear her shouting.

Y/N jumped at the sudden shouting coming from the front desk. She was sat in the break room with her nose stuck in a book, something she usually did when she had nothing else to do around the small shop. "Okay, Izzy." Y/Nreplied.

She placed the book on the table beside her not before folding the page at the corner to mark where she had left off (a habit she had picked up from her mother a few years back) got up and dusted off her jeans then headed to the storage room.

Y/N searched the room high and low before coming to the conclusion that there were no more peonies in the storage room.

"Izzy I'm afraid we have no more peonies." She told the sweet old lady in a solemn voice. 

She always felt awful when her favorite customers couldn't receive their orders.

Izzy, the sweet old lady sighed " Mrs.Lee, I'm afraid we're out of stock on those, you can check tomorrow when we restock. I'm deeply sorry"

Mrs. Lee on the other side of the phone reassured Izzy "It's okay old friend, I'll be sure to come personally tomorrow to check. Goodbye Isabella"

"Goodbye " Izzy hung up the phone

Y/N had made her way back to the break room while Izzy and Mrs. Lee were talking.

Can't really blame her, she was excited to finish the book.

"You'll never leave that book alone will you?" Izzy spoke standing at the doorway of the room.

"Nope, never ever" Y/N replied popping the 'p'.

The old lady smiled at the young woman who continued to read the book she had read a thousand times before.

The old lady loved Flora dearly, she reminded her of her granddaughter who had passed away from leukemia.

"I baked some cookies before I left this morning would you like some?" Izzy asked already knowing the answer,

The girl was a foodie with a ginormous sweet tooth.

"Of course I do! Izzy this is food we're talking about" Y/N rushed out suddenly standing up.

Izzy chuckled at Flora's antics and handed her the container filled with double chocolate chip cookies that she previously hid behind her back.

"Thank you!" Y/Nyelled out in excitement.

Books and food the perfect mix.

Izzy left Y/N in the break room to resume her reading and eating. There was nothing else left to do for the day anyway.

Before they knew it, it was time to go home.

"Goodbye Y/N, get home safely okay? Don't talk to-" the old lady was cut off by Flora's playful tone

"-Strangers, I know Izzy, I'm 22 not 12. You do the same m'kay? I don't wanna have to punch somebody" Flora stated seriously

"Okay darling, see you tomorrow " Isabella replied before getting in her car

"Bye Izzy" Y/N shouted out to Isabella who was already out of the parking lot.

..................................................................................................................................

Half an hour later Y/N was in the comfort of her own home stuffing her face with seasoned mac n cheese.

She let out a long sigh before plopping herself on her cheap, old, blue couch that she had bought at a garage sale for forty dollars.

 The couch was practically falling apart.

She stared at the chipped cream walls of her apartment and allowed her thoughts to take over.

How am I gonna pay rent this month? The shop is barely getting any sales.

How am I gonna pay for groceries? I've been eating mac n cheese for three months straight now.

Maybe I should go back ho-

Her thoughts were cut off by her cell phone ringing

Who's that girl by EVE blaring out of the speaker

Her screen flashed the caller ID

'IZZY<3'

Y/N picked up the phone and answered

"Hello sweetheart, I'm not feeling too well tonight so I'm going to the doctor tomorrow could you possibly go to work a little earlier than usual to fill in for me?"

"Sure Izzy that's not a problem. Is the spare key still kept in the same place?"

"Yes it is, thanks again love, you're an angel, also Mrs. Leeis coming to pick up the peonies she wanted tomorrow tell her I apologize for not being able to make it okay?" Izzy replied in a weak voice.

"Alright old lady g'night and get some rest please" Y/N said.

Eventually, they both hung up and Y/N decided that it was time for bed.

She had to wake up at 7 tomorrow to prep and open the store.

POV SWITCH 

Y/N💐

It was already 7:49 when I reached the store. I was a little late but that didn't matter. Izzy wasn't here to tell me off anyway.

Standing at the door of the shop my eyes started wandering among the heap of black plant pots to find the worn red Russian doll

"Eureka" I whispered when I finally spotted it.

I picked it up and started breaking down each layer until I found the spare key.

With a forceful push of the old wooden door

I was finally inside the store I had grown to love.

The store was weirdly quiet thanks to Izzy's absence but again, that didn't matter right now. She trusted me enough to manage the store on my own for a day so I won't disappoint her.

Dropping my shoulder bag on the front desk I walked over to the staff notice board and memories the schedule for today

8:00-8:30 delivery of new stock

8:30-9:15 restock the flowers CORRECTLY

BREAK

10:15-12:00 Make new bouquets for display

BREAK

Do whatever the heck you want after that until closing

I giggled at the last bit "of course she would write something like this"

It was understandable though the store wasn't that popular and we didn't have many sales.

With a sigh, I looked up at the clock that hung on the wall above the board

8:01 it read. Good, that means the delivery truck will be here any min-

The doorbell chimed signaling that someone had entered the store.

"Any minute" I finished

"Hey, Ricky, y'know your like 2 minutes late right? Izzy's gonna eat you alive for this " I laughed with my back still turned towards the door.

"I'm not Ricky" an unfamiliar voice said.

I quickly spun around to find a tall lean man dressed in a suit.

"Who are you?" I asked surprised

"A customer. I ordered previously I'm here to pick it up" He responded.

He had an accent.

I loved men with accents.

Fuck.

Clearing my throat I made my way to the small computer at the corner of the table

"Name?" I questioned

"Lee Gyun-hee " he replied shortly

I looked up from the screen "huh? What'd you say?"

"Lee Gyun-hee ." he repeated

Maybe I'm going blind or something because the person standing in front of me claiming to be Mrs. Lee did not look like Mrs. Lee.

Mrs. Lee was female

This person was not

Mrs. Lee was barely 5'6

This man was not

"Um....see...here's the thing I would give you the flowers but I can't" I stated

"And why is that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because you aren't Mrs. Lee" I vocalized

"이 멍청한 여자. Obviously not. I'm her son, Jeno" He said rudely.

Now my Korean (I'm assuming) might not be the best but it didn't take long for me to figure out that he was insulting me.

This rude bitch.

"You're the one who's lost all common sense. How was I to magically assume that you were her son? For all I know you could have been a stalker or something. I am many things Mr. Lee but a mat is not one of them so don't try to walk all over me. Kindly get that through your thick skull." I offered him a tight smile.

His body went rigid and we both stood in silence for a while.

That was until he took one long stride and was suddenly leaning on the tabletop baring his teeth at me like a fucking dog.

It was hot.

no, it wasn't.

Because of the close proximity, I could now admire his facial features. My eyes immediately went to his pink lips lips

Then his Sharp jaw could probably cut concrete

His big nose led me to believe...stuff.

And.....sweet baby reindeer.....his eyes

Double fuck.

His eyes were practically drilling through me.

Oh fuck me.

He suddenly smirked "You would like that wouldn't you"

My eyes widened realizing I said that out loud

Suddenly he used his index finger to trace from my jaw to my lips, then he used his thumb skimmed over my bottom lip

"How bad do you want me to fuck you?" he asked

I gasped "Let's not...have this type of discussion"

he smirked "Don't be ashamed I wouldn't have a problem giving you what you want"

I folded my lips not knowing how to react in the least - I only get sexual experiences and confrontations from books- virgin way possible.

"Cat got your tongue?" He laughed

I rolled my eyes and stepped back.

Yes

"No"

You're hot

"You're not as hot as you think you are asshole"

Triple fuck.

[melanieph321]

Dusan Vlahovic x Reader - Boss Me Around Part 1/6

I'm so excited for this one!🤭

Reader is a former yacht girl now newly moved to Turin, Italy for her job as a real-estate accountant. There she meets Dusan Vlahovic, a former client of hers, a client she never thought to see again. However, with Dusan being Readers new boss their past becomes a liability. Nevertheless the spark between them still lives. This story is a romcom with both His and Her POV!

Enjoy!

Miami did get a little crazy in the summer, thankfully it was your last year being a yacht girl. Yupp, you were keeping your promise. Once you were out of college you were putting your flip flops on a shelf and stuffing your bikini in the back of your pantie drawer. It was time to grow up and stop treating life like a circus. It was time to get a real job.

"But you'll still visit me when you move to Italy, won't you?" Izzy said, as the two of you shared a scooter on your way to the marina.

"Are you kidding? With my new salary I'm flying you out to visit me. We'll have so much fun together in Turin."

Although it was considered a job, you had formed many great friendships through yachting. Izzy was your best friend in the game, the one you never road without. If it hadn't been for Izzy teaching you the ways of the yachting game, you might as well have ended up in some really bad situations that a lot a girls do whilst seeking the fast way to earn some cash. It was important not to get too in awe of the experience. Izzy had tought you that. Izzy had also taught you that the biggest mistake girls in yachting did was fall in love with a client, a mistake you were thankful you had avoided throughout your career. Although college boys never realky gained your interest either.

"So who's this guy anyway?" You asked. "A nepo baby looking to party?"

"More like a self made billionaire. Raul says he owns like half of Serbia when it comes to real-estate."

"Impressive." You nodded. Your last job as as a yacht girl would be a breezer. It was easier to deal with rich entrepreneurs than spoiled nepo babies who believed to rule the world.

Or so you thought.

********************************************

"I think they're here." Alex said, looking over the boat deck, keeping an eye out for the girls. Once he spotted them Dusan rose from his taning bed, on his way to alert the crew to prepare the boat for departure.

"There's only two of them." Alex said, looking displeased as he returned from the deck, approaching his friend.

"Yes, one for you and one for me." Dusan said, pointing between the two of them.

"Man, you really have gone soft." Alex sighed. He was already suprised to be invited for a fun day out on his friend's new yacht, only to find the vessel empty of people if you excluded the crew members. "What happened to the old Dusan?" He said. "The one that likes to party. The one that taught me that the more the merrier, huh?"

Dusan chuckled. "I guess he's retired."

"At twenty four? How sad."

"Look, we can still have a good time. The girls said that they were up for anything."

"Yeah, but if I know you you're probably gonna ask them to watch you take a nap."

Dusan shook his head, a smile in his lips.

"When did you get so boring man, is that what a billion dollar empire does to you?"

Dusan opened his mouth to get back at his friend but that's when they heard voices below.

"Hello, anybody home?"

"Up hear!" Dusan shouted, a minute passing before they heard footsteps climbing the stairs. Two girls emerged, dressed in nothing but strips of fabric,  bikini's barley covering enough.

"Hi, I heard you guys were looking to party." The blond one said. Her hair was cut short with several tattoos covering her arms.

"Yeah, that's us." Alex grinned.

"Well, the party has arrived." She cheered.

Dusan had nothing against girls with short and bleached hair, but tattoos never did it for him.

"Great. How would you girls like your martinis?"

"Dry." The blond girl was quick to make clear. "And no olives."

"Got it, dry and no olives. How about your friend?"

All eyes turned to the second girl who's presence hadn't been as notisble as her friend. But now that he had his eyes in her, Dusan found it almost impossible to diverge his attention from her.

"Y/N?"

"Huh?" The girl seemed distracted,  her gaze having stuck to a point below Dusan's chin. He wasn't wearing a shirt,  only swimming trunks. Perhaps she found it rude, him introducing himself half naked. Not that she was any better.

"What drink do you want?" Her friend asked, in a bit if a rush to get the party started. The crew was heard above their heads,  the yacht would set sail at any minute now.

"S...ame as you." The girl stuttered. Her voice was unique. It was quite deep but in a very feminine way.

"No olives?" Her friend confirmed.

"No olives." The girl nodded. Her friend then followed Alex downstairs to the bar, leaving Dusan with no trail of thought in the presence of the girl which his eyes had yet diverge from.

"You have a very nice boat." She said,  trying to somther the rise of an awkward silence.

"Um, thank you." Dusan said, clearing his throat. "It's new actually."

"I can see that." She seemed fairly fascinated, as she dared approach the boats railing, admiring the view of Miami Beach.

"Yeah, how so?" Dusan asked, joining her side. But instead of admiring the view, he couldn't help but to admire her. She had eyes that sparked something within him, a sudden thrill.

"What do you mean?" A frown ruined her face.

Dusan felt the need to make himself clear. "You said that you could tell that my yacht is brand new,  how so?"

"Oh." She turned for her back to rest against the railing, her eyes now wandering across the newly swiped deck. "Well, it's every billionaires dream to own a boat and put it on display in Miami, or am I wrong?"

"I don't know." Dusan smiled. He was quite entertained. "I've never heard of this fenomenon. Surley the expert is you considering your experience with billionaires and boats."

The girl's eyebrow rose with interest, however Dusan's slik comment did not seem to have insulted her.

"Perhaps it's not every billionaires dream." She said, turning her head to face him. Again, her eyes sparked a thrill within Dusan, a thrill he was more than excited to explore. "But it sure is every newly crowned billionaires dream."

He wrinkled his nose.

The girl had a twinkle in her eyes. "My friend googled your net worth on our way here."

"I see." Dusan nodded. "Fair enough. I may or might not have bought this yacht in honor of my business flourishing this past year. However I'm not planning on docking it in Miami for display."

"Your gonna sail it across the seven seas?"

Dusan snorted, unintentionally of course. How did she make him do that? Her comment caught him of gaurd. "Not really." He said, collecting himself. "I'll have a friend of mine bring it home for me. He's more of a professional."

"Yeah, that's probably a better idea. Sailing a boat through pirate infested waters can be tricky without experience."

Again, the girl made him chuckled. It was pathetic how tipsy he came across. The girl must smell the glass of champagne he had earlier on his breath and think he's one of those creeps to invite yacht girls on their boats just to get them drunk. He had to assure her that he wasn't like that. He had to assure her that she could feel safe with him.

"We got martinis!"

Just as he was about to ensure her safety, the girl's friend showed up, followed by Alex who carried a tray of filled glasses. "Let's get this party started!" He said, handing out the drinks, making sure everyone had a glass in their hand for a toast. "To a lovely day, spent with two lovely girls." He said, as cheesy as ever.

"Cheers to that!" The blond girl said, rasing her glass.

Before downing his drink Dusan turned to her friend, making sure that she looked to be having a good time as well. He was suprised to find her smiling at him, an empty martini glass in her hand. "Drink up." She winked.

Dusan did exactly that. He would do whatever she asked him to, whatever.

[sanaxo-o]

Be the one (Eric Sohn)

To @deobienthusiast K, from Sana: Hihi K :) I know that we don’t talk much (which is a shame because I think your company would be a great addition to my lonely life) but I really had so much fun writing this for you. Despite not being able to write for Sangyeon and Juyeon (I was thinking about making three different fics but *sigh* time is a bitch). I hope we get closer in the future and that you enjoy this small silly fic I wrote for one and only, Eric Sohn hehe.

Warnings: kissing, drinking, cheating, in a scene Juyeon jokingly implies that readers a bad person, um mentions of balls (don’t ask, just read), reader and Eric act stupid (way to much), mentions of peeing and all (plz don’t judge me yall 😭), PG 13 jokes (yes), reader jokingly says that she is in a relationship with a old man, mentions of doing excessive amount of drinking and drugs, few scenes inspired by TV show Gilmore Girls and a classic movie 10 Things I hate about you, some of it is inspired by Sabrina Carpenters song Santa doesn’t know you like I do.

Genre/trope: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @from-izzy @mars101 @stealanity @deoboyznet

Sana: this actually took everything in me to write 😭. Like I have never in my life ever written slow burn so this was definitely a challenge! A big thanks to @mosviqu @from-izzy (especially izzy for giving me all those correct punctuations and all 😭) and @o-onikix for beta reading this huge ass thing of mine 😭 (also to my irl friend for reading bits and pieces and giving me the confidence)

Word count: 13,785

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

“Are you coming to the Christmas party?” You hear Soyeon ask you. Stopping in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, you turn around to face her again as you give out a small sigh at her repetitive question. The answer was going to be the same either way so you don’t understand why she is so persistent on getting you to come to the Christmas party.

“No, I don’t think I am coming to the Christmas party thanks for asking tho.” You say as you give out a small annoyed smile before you continued walking to your next class with Soyeon tailing behind you.

“But why? It’s the last party you will get!” She says once she catches up with you.

“There’s…there’s prom?” You say with your lips pressed in a straight line. Dropping by your locker you pick up a few extra books you needed for the next class.

“Which you will never attend! Come on, it’s gonna be so fun at the party.” She says with a pout resting upon her lips as she shakes your arms back and forth trying to convince you.

“Parties are not my thing. You know it and it’s like any other typical party I have attended in the past. There would be loud music, then of course, alcohol which was sneaked in by others and in every other corner would be people making out. On top of that, no one has asked me out yet.” You tell her before you push her away gently and close your locker with a thud.

“No one is asking you because they’re scared you will reject them like every time.” You hear Soyeon mumble with the small pout still resting upon her lips as she played with her sleeves trying to gain your sympathy which she was miserably failing at.

“Even if I do come I won’t enjoy it.” You point out as a matter of fact.

“What about Eric? He can ask you out!” She suggests totally ignoring the fact that you just said that you won’t enjoy the party either way. But you let out a snort when you register the fact that she just said that Eric could ask you out. At this point it was a normal thing for her, in every other conversation she would always manage to bring up Eric.

She thinks Eric is the perfect boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and from her point of view she says that Eric is totally smitten for you which is most definitely not true because after all you both are just really close friends.

Despite the sweet names he calls you by, holding your hand when it’s cold to warm you up, buying food for you as his treat, the occasional sleepovers at his place on every Friday as you both cuddled together on the same bed and of course the way he’s always looking after you no matter what.

You still remember the day when you had fallen sick and Eric by all means tried his best to manage everything on his own. From taking care of you to helping you complete your notes despite being from different majors.

“Eric? He’s just a friend, nothing more, nothing less.” Saying that you start walking away.

“I beg to differ, every other person thinks that you and Eric are dating!” Soyeon says with a whisper.

“I don’t care what every other person thinks and that’s not even true, I mean yeah I used to have a thing for Eric in the past but I am over it. He already likes someone else I guess…” you say, your voice coming out small.

Giving you a look Soyeon looks at you with a knowing look “Are you sure about that?” She says before stifling a laugh when she sees the glare you throw her way.

“Yes I am sure about that and as I said before Eric already likes some else..” you say with a slight groan at the end.

“What are you talking about? Eric and Yuna broke up months ago and not to say you’re still single. It’s a perfect opportunity!!” Soyeon says with an excited smile now playing upon her lips.

“Nah, Eric and me are better off as friends I’d say.” Saying that you walk away from Soyeon and enter your class.

Taking a seat at the very end of the class, you place your bag and books on the table before you get your headphones out.

Looking out the window you looked at the calm stretched morning, it was like any other day you would have. The professor was blabbing away about something you did not care enough to pay attention to.

You would catch up on it later on anyways but the morning was ruined when the door slammed open and one of your peers, Sunwoo walked in with rage.

Standing right in front of you he leaned down to speak with you, “How could you leave me yesterday night? After the amazing night we had you just storm out in the morning just like that with no other thought in mind?? How could you Y/N!?” Sunwoo screamed loudly as he continued, “I thought we were heading som-” Another uninvited yell cut him off. getting cut off Sunwoo was interrupted with another yell.

“What the hell man? How could you just barge in like that? I told you, Y/N is with me now.” You see Eric say as he approaches you and Sunwoo.

“You stay out of this Eric!” Sunwoo yells at him.

“Why? Just because you cannot have her why blame it on me?”

“You asked for it you little shit!” Sunwoo yells at Eric as he pounces on top of him.

Looking around the room you see everyone whisper things while watching the fight unfold in front of them, and if that was not enough in came Juyeon with a security guard outfit on as he blew the whistle to stop the two of them from fighting.

“All right that’s enough you two!” Juyeon yells as he goes over to both of them and picks them up by their collar before he turns around and looks at you while still having a hold of them. “Y/N you should be ashamed of yourself for toying with boys like this! They used to have pride, they used to have dignity and most of all they used to have balls!” Juyeon yells as he starts dragging both of them to the door before stopping midway “Damn it Y/N, give them back their balls!” Saying the last line all three of them exited the class before laughter began to erupt everywhere.

Looking around you slide down against the chair trying to hide yourself. You knew being friends with them meant having some crazy experiences but never did you ever think that they would do something like this.

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Sitting in the cafeteria with Soyeon, you listened to her babble about something that happened in her class before she stopped talking when Eric approached your table with Sunwoo and Juyeon by his side.

You just observed him take a seat beside you before he grabbed a French fry from your plate. Sighing you just pushed the bowl towards him, suddenly having no appetite.

“I hated the stunt you pulled in the class today. Like no I do not have your balls. Just because you’re the son of a rich man does not mean you do this.” You say with a solemn voice as you drink your cup of coffee.

“Seriously Y/N? Having coffee at lunchtime?” Eric asked with a deadpan expression as he looked at you with confusion totally ignoring about the fact that you were mad at him.

“No, don’t change the subject. I am still talking. I mean who in the right mind would do something like this? It's so humi-” Before you could finish your whole sentence your mouth was stuffed with a bunch of fries in your mouth. Chewing onto them you glared at Eric before you looked away from him.

“Okay, I am sorry I did that. How about I make up for pulling this stunt which was in your language very much absurd and humiliating?” You hear Eric ask you. Stopping yourself from taking any more sips of your now almost empty cup of coffee you gave him a look of suspicion, not believing him yet.

“And how will you do that?” You say with suspicion evident in your voice, you did not even try to hide it.

“I know about a carnival which is happening in my area. How about I take you there? Good enough?” Eric asks with his hand out for a handshake.

“You pay for everything and buy me a soft toy?” You ask with hesitation before you grab his hand and shake it to seal the deal.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. So I’ll meet you at your place at 4?” He asks before standing up from the bench. Nodding your head you give him a small smile as you wave him goodbye.

“Looks like a date,” you hear Soyeon say once Eric leaves the cafeteria with Sunwoo and Juyeon. Throwing a glare at her you stand and gather your things getting ready to leave for your next class.

“It’s not a date, he’s just making up to me for the stunt he pulled on me today in my class which was by the-”

“Very humiliating and embarrassing. Gee, you said that already Y/N. Say whatever you want but I totally see you two dating in the near future.” She says with an irritatingly knowing voice as she blows a kiss towards your way before she watches your figure walking away.

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Standing outside your house you look at your watch in impatience, it was 4:02 and there was still no sight of Eric. Rather than being mad at him for being late you were rather more concerned about him, what if something happened to him on the way here? Is he alright or what if he had hurt himself really bad leading to him being late?

Your train of thoughts came to a stop when you saw Eric’s car pull up at your driveway. Heaving out a sigh of relief you walk towards his car and take a seat in the passenger seat.

“Why are you so late?” You ask him once you put on your seatbelt and sit comfortably on the seat.

“Only two minutes sweetheart, why so worked up?” Eric says with a chuckle as he gives your head a soft pat with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“I was worried about you. What if something would have happened to you while coming here? How would I know? You did not even give me a call. Why were you even late?” You ask him again with a frown evident on your lips and your eyebrows raised up in a tense manner.

“Aww, you were worried about me, sweetheart?” He says in a sing-song voice as he starts the car.

“No, I was not. I was worried about the fact that you got in an accident before you took me to the carnival.” You lied to him trying to cover up for yourself, you did not want him to get cocky about this again.

It did not take long for both of you before you reached the carnival. Stopping the car in the parking lot Eric parked the car safely without bumping into anything (which you were surprised at because a normal person would have gotten distracted by your constant yapping unlike Eric who paid attention to every single word you said yet managed to park the car safely).

Getting out of the car and locking it, Eric came and stood by your side as he subtly took a hold of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours as he started walking towards the entrance without looking at your now red blushing face.

“Where do you want to go first, sweetheart?” You heard Eric ask which snapped you out of your train of thoughts. Looking around the carnival you saw the area for the prize stuffed animals.

Without any thoughts, you started dragging Eric towards the area ignoring his shoutings which were telling you to slow down.

Stopping at the game you looked at Eric before looking back at the stuffed animals, raising your hand you pointed at the animal you wanted “Can you win the penguin stuffed animal for me?” You ask him.

“Um…yeah sure, why not if that’s what you want sweetheart,” Eric says as he takes the arrows given by the worker and looks at the balloons intently.

He had five arrows and five chances to win the toy. To get it he would have to pop three balloons. Observing the balloons, Eric moved his hair out of his eyes as he threw the first dart.

—x—

“Eric, this is your third time. You really don’t have to go to this extent to get me the toy you know? Why don’t we just go to the Ferris wheel hmm?” You ask him tiredly as you shake his arms.

“Shhh I am trying to concentrate here. You know, as they say, third time’s a charm. If I don’t succeed this time, I will leave it okay?” He says as he starts to throw darts again.

And he did it. He did win you the penguin.

“Here, I told you I would get you this so I did. Do you like it sweetheart?” Eric says as he pats your head gently and softly grips your hand again before he starts walking towards a different area.

Nodding your head you stare at the stuffed toy in your hand lovingly and bring it close to your chest giddily as you hug it close to your body tightly “I love it so much! Thank you for winning this for me. I will always keep it close to me.” You exclaim happily.

“I am glad you like it,” Eric says with a sheepish smile spread across his face, glad that you were happy with the prize he won.

“You wanna try that?” You hear Eric’s voice beam with excitement. Looking up you follow his gaze and see the paintballs area. Giving Eric a knowing smile, both of you run towards the place with your hands still intertwined together tightly.

—x—

Looking around the place cautiously you look down at your bag of colour balloons again. Counting the remaining balloons you take a deep breath in when you realise you still have 10 left. That should do for now then.

Your train of thoughts were interrupted when you felt a cold balloon hit your neck. Snapping your head back you notice Eric standing behind you, a white jumper on which now had a bunch of different colours splashed onto it.

His hair was now messy as he held the dirty, balloon-filled bag in his one hand while his other hand had a balloon.

Looking around frantically you hide behind a huge pipe as you grab a balloon and wait for Eric to show up. Taking a peak you immediately throw the balloon in his direction which in return hits him on his stomach.

You saw Eric running towards your direction, picking your pace up,you started running away only to be caught by him in no time.

“Thought you could get away from me sweetheart?” Eric says as he splashes the balloon on top of your head which makes the paint fly everywhere.

“Okay okay, I am done. I don’t have any more left.” You declare with a defeated sigh. Once Eric lets you go, you take a peek at him only to see him look around the place. Taking that as a chance you grab the last balloon you had and hit it on his head which makes his hair dye the colour of the balloon.

Taking his shock manner as a chance you run away from the scene with laughter blaring through your throat and a content smile spread across your face.

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Sitting on the table placed by the food truck, you stabbed your fork into the pasta that Eric had bought for you. Having a big bite you looked around the place, admiring the lively atmosphere, the little happy giggles coming from the kids who were happily spending time with their families.

You later saw Eric walking towards your direction with a box of donuts in one hand while his other held a large iced cup of cold drink.

Reaching your table he placed both of the stuff on the table as he himself took a seat in front of you in exhaustion.

“Here, have some donuts and cold drinks. The line was so long like who the fuck drinks so much liquid at a carnival?” Eric says in annoyance

You look down at the big cup in your hand and then back at Eric as you slowly keep it back on the table “Well…us.” You tell him awkwardly before you grab the cup again and take a sip from it.

Eric stares at you for a moment before he looks at the cup filled with iced coke, “I mean, other than us, why would anyone want to drink liquid? What if they have to pee after drinking so much coke?” He pointed out as he raised his hand to point at a guy behind you who was peeing by the trees.

Looking away immediately, you glare at Eric in disgust and trauma.

“I did not need to see that thank you very much.” You say sarcastically as you take a bite from the donut which was in front of you. “But why would they pee after drinking coke?”

“Why won’t they? It’s liquid sweetheart. Everyone needs to pee after drinking liquids, be it water, alcohol or cold drinks.” He says as he grabs your donut and takes a bite out of it.

“Hey that’s mine! Grab another one.” You say with a scowl on your face as you throw a nasty glare towards Eric.

“But I bought it!” Eric argues back only to sigh in defeat once he realised that he cannot win against you. “Fine fine, you have it.” He says with a roll of his eyes jokingly before he speaks up again. “So do you have any plans for the Christmas break?” He asks before taking a sip of the cold drink.

“Oh, I am gonna be spending some time with my boyfriend!” You beam with happiness, a cheeky smile resting upon your cheeks.

“What…boyfriend?” He asks with confusion all over his face. I mean from what he can remember you had never mentioned anything to him about you finding a partner, so this was a sudden news for him.

“He’s a bit older, has grey hair and a beard, but rest assured he’s like super hot.” You tell him, a smile still playing upon your lips

“Are you serious right now or…?” Eric asks in concern as he places his hands on top of yours, stopping you from eating “Sweetheart please don’t tell me your boyfriends an old creep. Where is he even from?”

“He’s from a city which is colder than it’s here. He came here for his break to spend some time with me. Cute right?” You give Eric a small smile as you grab a donut and take a bite out of it ignoring the concerned glance Eric was throwing your way.

“Are you actually serious about this or you’re just joking with me and pulling my leg again? If you're, I am telling you, this is not a funny sweetheart.” Eric rambled on as his hold on your hands tightened in worry.

“Of course, I am not serious, but do you know who else is old and hot?” You ask him with peak interest as you lean closer to him trying to build up some suspense for him which you were clearly failing at when you saw Eric looking at you with confusion before he muttered out a small ‘what?’

“Santa.” you say with a straight face. You noticed Eric’s lips twitching upwards as he tried to stop himself from letting out a small smile at your silly response.

“Well thank god you were just joking about that old guy thing.” Eric says with relief washed all over his face as he leaned back on the chair with ease.

“But you have to agree, Santa is really hot and sexy. Like have you seen that beard and that thick figure he has? Like damn daddy, have some mercy on me please.” You say to Eric with a straight face, enjoying the reaction he was giving you.

Eric licked his dry lips as he stayed quiet. Not knowing what to say with your ridiculous statement and the unwanted information he just received about what you think about Santa.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, sweetheart.” Eric says as a small smile lingers on his lips. Man, was he smitten for you?

Yes, yes he was.

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Laying down on your bed you spent the night watching shows. Soyeon lays beside you as she used her phone paying no mind to the ridiculous comments you kept passing to her whenever a character did something insanely stupid or idiotic.

“Oh wait, you never told me how your date went with Eric?” Pausing the show you stared at Soyeon when she beamed at you with such a ridiculous question, a silly smile falling upon her face as she stared at you expectantly waiting for your response.

“What date?” You ask with boredom present in your voice as you stare at the wall, not having the courage to look at Soyeon in the eyes.

“You know! The date with Eric! The carnival!” She says now shaking your arm aggressively as she let out a small whine at your uncooperative ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” you say in a sing-song voice before you push her away as she dramatically falls off the bed onto the floor.

You heard a gasp leaving her lips, “My butt!” She exclaims.

From the corner of your eyes, you see Soyeon stand up before she grabs your laptop and closes it shut before you can even reply. Grabbing it, she placed it aside on the side table before she slammed her body down on you with force.

“Tell me about your date or else I am not getting up.” She says, her voice coming out muffled since her face was placed onto your shoulder.

“I did not go on a date with Eric first of all! He is just a friend and get off of me! You’re fucking heavy!” You cry out in pain, your voice coming out a bit heavy because of the force Soyeon was putting onto your body, tho half of it was acting she does not have to know about that now, does she?

“Okay okay, whatever you say! Just tell me how your night went with Eric!” Soyeon screams in frustration as she stands up from the floor and looks up at you.

“What do you mean by my night? That sounds so wrong…you make it sound like Eric and I banged together…” you say with a pout as you play with your sleeves acting as if you were shy.

“Well…did you?” She says with suspicion evident on her face and her tone as she squinted her eyes at you while leaning down with her hands on her hips.

“No!” You scream at her as you throw the nearest pillow you caught at her. Throwing a glare in her direction you stay quiet. “Now I don’t feel like telling you about my friendly date with Eric.” You tell her as you show her your tongue and look away from her, sulking.

Hearing you say that, Soyeon groans in frustration as she sits down beside you on the bed again. “Don’t be like this. Tell me please,” she pleads while batting her eyelashes to you, a way to gain your sympathy back.

Groaning at her behaviour you close your eyes with the palms of your hands as a way to protect yourself from the sight in front of you. “Fine! Just stop whatever the fuck that is. It’s making me nauseous geez.” You say with a whine.

Hearing you say that Soyeon immediately stops batting her eyelashes as she sits straight while clearing her throat, “Go on.”

“Well nothing much happened, he won a soft toy for me, played a few games-”

“What kind of games?” Soyeon interrupts you in excitement.

“Paint balls…”

“Aww you guys had a date which was in 10 things I hate about you! So cute!” Soyeon squeals. Looking at her in disbelief and disgust you sigh as you continue what you were saying.

“We then ate, chatted a bit and he dropped me of. That’s it.” You tell her what happened.

“That’s it? No kissing? No nothing?” She says with disappointment in her tone of voice.

“Why would that happen? Come on grow up. Mine and Eric’s love life is way different, and his and my type are also very much different. He likes girls who are much…how do I say it…calm?” You say with a question mark evident on your features.

Soyeon shakes her head in disappointment as she lays down on her back on the bed “When will you both understand about the feelings you guys hold for each other?” Soyeon says mostly to herself but you catch on to it but decide to say nothing on it.

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Sitting at the back of the class you sketch in your notebook as you don’t pay attention to what your classmates are talking about.

Sighing, you look up for a bit and notice Sangyeon entering the classroom, dropping down your pencil on the notebook you wait for Sangyeon to approach you.

Picking up your bag, you keep it aside and wait for Sangyeon to take a seat beside you.

“Hey, what are you doing?” You hear Sangyeon ask you once he reaches your place. Giving him a small smile you look down at your sketchbook and then back up at him

“Nothing, was just sketching. What are you doing here though?” You ask with expectant eyes.

It was not that common for Sangyeon to be in your classes. He was in a different major so it was very uncommon for both of you to cross each other’s paths unless you both met at a party or just in the cafeteria where your other friends would be.

“Are you free this Saturday? Some of us are going out after our afternoon classes. Maybe you could join us?” Sangyeon suggests as he looks into your eyes with expectation

“I don’t know…do we have to bring someone along with us?”

“It’s not necessary, if you want to you can. Eric is bringing this…Yuna girl with him to tag along. You can bring someone if you want. Maybe Soyeon?” Sangyeon gives you a suggestion.

You just stare at him blankly when you hear him say about Eric bringing Yuna with him. You thought they had broken up…but maybe not? It was all just a rumour then, huh?

But what about the time you both spent together that day at the carnival? Was it not a date? Wait of course not, you guys are just friends. That’s it, right? Right?

“He got back together with Yuna?” You question Sangyeon, your voice wavering a bit at the end.

You don’t know why you’re even upset when you hear Sangyeon say this. You should be happy right? Happy for Eric getting back in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend? Happy for his love life at least going somewhere? But you were not happy. Not even a bit.

It’s as if someone had punched you hard in the gut which caused you to stop breathing and you felt like you were gonna faint any moment.

“I…I don’t know. He just said something about him inviting Yuna. I was not paying that much attention. I am sorry but is there something wrong? You don’t look so well right now.” Sangyeon said with concern laced in his voice.

“I am fine, yeah I just…I just need some alone time. I should get going. See you around!” You tell him as you tuck your hair behind your ear and start packing up your stuff.

“Wait! Are you going to come with us on Saturday? You can decline if you don’t want to. It’s alright-” Before Sangyeon could finish his sentence you stopped in your tracks as you turned back around and took a deep breath in before speaking again.

“I will come on Saturday. Don’t worry!” Saying that you rushed out of the classroom to your dorm.

You needed to vent this feeling to someone and there was no other person who could help you other than Soyeon.

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Entering the dorm you looked around the living room for any signs of Soyeon. Calling out her name you heard her voice in the kitchen.

Running towards the kitchen you just stood in front of Soyeon with tear-filled eyes, “I think you were right, So” You say softly as you looked up at the ceiling trying your best not to let your tears flow.

“What are you talking about Y/N? What was I right about? I mean I am always right..” she said in a joking manner but stopped immediately when she saw your tear-stained cheeks.

“I think I do have feelings for my best friend after all…” you say your voice barely above a whisper but Soyeon heard it crystal clear.

“I would have said told you so but looking at your condition, I think I can postpone it.” She says as she walks towards you and holds you in her arms. “Now would you tell me why you’re crying over the fact that you actually do have feelings for Eric? Shouldn’t you be thinking about how to confess to him or something?” She says to you while rubbing your arms to create some kind of warmth and comfort.

“He is…he i…back with Yuna I guess…” you tell her softly as you bury your face in her neck trying to control your uncontrollable sobbing.

“What?? But didn’t he break up with her?” Soyeon asks in shock as she stops rubbing your arms and pulls away from you to take a look at your now red eyes and tear-stained face.

“Well I thought so too but Sangyeon said that he invited Yuna over to the place they’re going on Saturday and I don’t know what to do. What if I lose him? I don’t want that!” You say with panic filling your voice.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let that happen. You and Eric are destined to be together and I know that Yuna is not permanent...I guess. I mean I hope so.” She said as she chuckled nervously while scratching her nape.

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Entering the barbecue place, you immediately noticed your group of friends sitting by a table in a circle. Soyeon decided to tag along with you as she had nothing better to do, I mean better for you.

Reaching the table you noticed that Eric was sitting beside Yuna as they both chatted without even sharing anyone else a glance.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here!” You heard Sangyeon beam making you divert your attention to him as you gave him a small smile and took a seat beside him as Soyeon sat beside Sunwoo.

“Yeah me and Soyeon had nothing else to do so thought why not just join you guys.” You say with a small chuckle.

“I am glad. Would you like a drink?” Sangyeon asks as he leans forward to grab a bottle of beer only to be stopped by you.

“No no, it’s okay. I don’t really drink much.” You tell him as you grab his hand so that he doesn’t get the bottle of beer.

“Well if you say so,” Sangyeon says as he pulls back and gets more comfortable beside you.

—x—

The night was still young. Most of the guys were drunk as they sang some songs the whole time while eating.

The whole time you tried your best to not steal glances at Eric but whenever you did, you always saw him chatting with Yuna, and every time you saw that you felt your heart ache in pain. You desired to be there instead of her but that’s not gonna happen, you both are just friends after all.

Looking around the restaurant you started to have trouble breathing. As if you were getting suffocated in there. The place was getting too stuffed for you.

Standing up you excuse yourself from the group as you walk away once you grab your bag and phone.

In the rush of getting yourself out of the place, you failed to notice the pair of eyes which followed your every moment, till he himself stood up and decided to follow you out.

—x—

Sitting down on the footpath with your heels in your hands you stared down at the ground with no thoughts in your mind.

Placing your heels down on the ground, you bring your arms up to cover and warm yourself up by the cold. You were already heartbroken, you wouldn’t want to catch a cold on top of that too knowing he wouldn’t be there to look after you since he is now a taken man.

“Hey,” you hear a voice say behind you. Already knowing that it is none other than Eric you don’t bother enough to look back up at him as you just continue staring ahead of you with no particular thought in mind.

You noticed him take a seat beside you on the footpath by your peripheral vision, you did not even bother enough to say anything back.

“Why are you out here alone? You might catch a cold sweetheart..” Eric says softly before he removes his jacket and places it on top of your shoulders.

Shrugging the jacket off you give it back to him without looking him in the eye. “You don’t have to do this anymore. People might get a wrong idea or something since you’re now back together with Yuna.” You mutter under your breath as you place the jacket on his lap.

“Why are you acting so cold towards me out of nowhere sweetheart?” Eric whispers softly as he tries to hold onto your cold hand only to get pushed away by you.

“Do you not get it? Eric…you’re now back together with Yuna! You cannot act like this with me now. People will think you’re cheating on her or something and I don’t want to be the other woman in a relationship.” You tell him what you had in mind as you take in a deep breath trying not to lash out at him and say something you don’t want to.

“Sweetheart, what me and Yuna have is totally temporary. I like our relationship, I like the fact that you’re my best friend.” You close your eyes in pain when you hear him say that you’re just his best friend. Exactly, nothing more nothing less. Those were also the words you said to Soyeon so why do you loathe these words now? It’s not like the meaning has changed or anything but your feelings surely did.

“That’s the thing Eric, I…” you inhale a deep breath in as you stop yourself from saying what you have been meaning to say. Yes, you liked Eric but ruining your friendship with him just for that is not worth it. Because even if you do get into a relationship with him, which is nearly impossible, what if you both break up? Your friendship and your relationship would be ruined forever.

“Sweetheart, please tell me. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and brings your body closer to his warmer one as he held your shoulders in a tight grip while giving your forehead light kisses to calm you down.

Just being in his arms at that moment made you break down in front of him. Your eyes immediately turned red, your nose turning a shade of pink as your cheeks started to get stained with your tears.

You saw Eric raising his other hand as he gently wiped your tears away, “Just tell me when you’re ready. I am always here for you.” Eric says softly

Taking a deep breath in you collect yourself together as you lean away from his warm embrace, you immediately feel the cold envelop you making your hands shake from the cold.

“Eric I…I like you. I never thought that I would ever have feelings for you in this way but the more time we spend together, the more my feelings grew. I always denied this feeling whenever Soyeon said anything but when I heard Sangyeon tell me that you’re back together with Yuna…I just felt my stomach drop. I felt hurt all over, I could not breathe properly because that was the time I realised that…that maybe I like you more than a friend. Now I know that we would never get together because of our differences but I just feel like you needed to know about this since well you’re my best friend and I tell you everything. I totally understand if you need some time away from me since this might have been a shock for you but please, don’t break up our friendship.” You say everything you ever wanted to let Eric know. You knew that this was probably a bad decision but you just had to let him know. “I should go now…see you around?”

You were about to get up when you felt a hand grip your wrist stopping you from getting up. Looking down at your wrist you noticed Eric holding onto it.

“Do you really like me?” He says as he leans closer towards you, his hand still gripping your wrist. Nodding a bit, you notice him lean even more closer as he leaves your hand and grabs a hold of your cheeks.

Both of his hands cradles your cheeks as he holds them delicately, staring deep into your eyes his gaze moves down towards your lips before he looks back up at you.

Placing your hand on his chest, you stop him before he manages to kiss you, “You cannot do this. You’re in a relationship with Yuna, it’s…it’s wrong.”

Groaning at your answer Eric goes back to his original place not having the energy to argue at what you said because no matter what, he was not a man who would cheat on a woman to be with another.

He was gonna kiss you because he was not in the right state of mind, right? Not because he might also be having feelings for you? No, he wouldn’t, if he did he would not have been in a relationship with Yuna.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here…with Eric?” You hear a voice say behind you. Looking back you notice Sangyeon coming out with a drunk Soyeon leaning on his shoulders.

Giving him a small wave you stand up from the footpath and walk towards him before getting a hold of Soyeon. “Yeah. I was just about to leave, I can take Soyeon back home. You can go back in and enjoy.” You tell him as you give him a soft smile.

“No, let me drop you off. Soyeon is already drunk so I will just drive you back to your dorm. I have my car with me.” Sangyeon says before he starts walking away with Soyeon still in his hold only to stop midway and turn back around to look at Eric. “You might want to go in and check up on your girlfriend Eric. She’s drunk and trying to kiss Sunwoo…” Sangyeon tells Eric with slight disappointment laced in his tone.

Giving Sangyeon a small nod, Eric looks at you with a longing gaze as he watches you walk away with Sangyeon and Soyeon.

Heading back towards the restaurant he opens the door and sighs tiredly when he sees Yuna babbling some incoherent words because of how drunk she is.

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Sitting by the kitchen counter you stare at Soyeon as she drinks the coffee you made for her.

“I am having such a bad headache…” she mumbles as she takes the last sip of the coffee and places the cup down on the table before she diverts her attention to you.

“So…are you gonna tell me about what happened yesterday or?” You breathe out a sigh as you place your head on your palms in agony.

“I confessed to Eric…” you tell her the truth. You could hear her let out a small gasp in surprise as she stood up from her seat and sat down beside you.

“What did he say?” She asks with her hands on your shoulder before she forcefully makes you face her.

“Nothing…but I think he was gonna kiss me if I had not stopped him..” you say with a frown resting upon your lips before you shrug off her hands and gaze at the floor.

“He what??!” Soyeon screams in shock, “You know what Y/N? I cannot look at you being heartbroken like this anymore. Why don’t you go on a date? Maybe that would make you feel better.” Soyeon says as a suggestions

“But I don’t think it would be fair for the other person knowing I still have feelings for someone else…” you tell her.

“It’s just one date. If you don’t like him you don’t have to go again and it’s not a big deal. He’s a friend of my friend so it won’t affect anyone. What do you say?” She asks as she stands up from her place and grabs her phone to make a few quick phone calls.

“If you say so…”

“Well, it’s done then! I will inform my friend to let her friend know about this.” Soyeon tells you with a smile resting on her lips. Returning the smile you look away from her and stare out the window with thoughts flooding your mind.

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Sitting alone in the bar you looked around in discomfort. Maybe coming to a bar alone with a man you just met today really was a bad idea? I mean...you did not know him personally except for the fact that Soyeon was a friend of his friend.

Agreeing to come to this date really made you fall back into this slump you were in. Because your love life was so bad that you had to go to this extent, meet up with a guy you barely knew, only for him to turn out to be this crazy person.

I mean, no one would want to be cramped in a car with 5 men they never met only to smell all the weed and cigarettes they were smoking on your face as they leaned onto you with no care in the world. This would barely even be considered as a date. Because who in their right mind does this on their first date? Does this person even know that this was a date?

Being lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice the now-approaching man, the man Soyeon thought would be good enough for now. I mean you cannot blame her completely because she did not know how he was.

Her friend told her that he was a good guy so Soyeon thought it was a perfect opportunity to match you up with him. Oh boy, Soyeon was gonna have it from you once you reach back home.

“We’re planning on going to the pool which is nearby. Come on, let’s go.” You felt startled when you heard him say that. Because no way in hell would you want to go to some random pool with a bunch of strangers who were high and drunk. You were sooo dreading this night you were in.

“I think I will pass on that. I will just leave now but thanks for the offer, Jonah.” You say with a slight smile as you start gathering your stuff, which is not much considering you only had your sling bag and phone with you.

“Oh let me drop you off…” he did not get to finish his sentence as he trailed off once his attention went back to his group of friends who did not seem to have a sense of reality whatsoever.

“It’s okay. It looks like your friends need you more than me. I will be fine.” You reassure him as you watch him walk out of the bar with his friends without looking back.

Sighing you open your wallet to pay for the beverage you bought for yourself.

“Fuck…,” Standing up from your seat you approach the nearest waitress you say, “Hi, could you tell me where the nearest ATM is?” You ask nervously.

“Oh, it’s a few blocks down, but I wouldn’t recommend walking there alone at night in this area. Many crazy stories about this place you know?” She says that as she walks away with a tray of drinks in her hand.

Sighing deeply, you slump down on your seat again as you stare at the contacts on your phone.

You most definitely did not want to call him knowing he was with his dear, bitchy girlfriend. But you had no option. It’s not like you want to risk your life going out in search of an ATM to take out some money. You had enough adventure today as it was.

You hated yourself for only thinking about him the whole time, the fact that he was the first person to come to your mind when you got yourself in this situation.

Biting on your nails, you nervously clicked on his contact name before putting your phone close to your ear, waiting for him to pick up as you looked around the bar once more.

“Hi, Eric. It's me…are you free right now?” You ask nervously. You tried paying attention to his background noises. So far, you could not hear a sound. The good thing was that you did not hear his annoying girlfriend's voice which made you feel somewhat better.

“Yes, yes I am. Are you in trouble or something?” He replied as you heard some shuffling noises coming from the background as if he was in a hurry.

“Yes, I am stuck in this bar and I have no cash with me and these people don’t accept credit cards and you were the first person who came in my mind to contact. I am so sorry if I am disturbing you.” You kept on rambling on as you felt as if you were a burden to him. I mean…you should be able to take care of yourself, but instead, you were asking your best friend to come pick you up from this unknown place you were stuck in.

And knowing what you two almost did yesterday made this situation all the more awkward for you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Just send me your location, I am already in the car.” You heard Eric say. Ending the call you send him your location as you look around the bar while hugging your body.

—x—

“Eric!” You call out his name once you see him enter the bar.

“Hey, oh god thank god you’re okay. So what happened? What are you doing here?” He asks as he sits down in front of you.

“I feel so stupid, so Soyeon had this friend who knew this guy I was on a somewhat date with. From what Soyeon said the guy was in diapers or something.”

“The boy was in diapers?” Eric asks questionably as he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“No, Soyeon said her friend knew him when he was in diapers but that’s not the point. I thought this date might go well, I might get myself a potential boyfriend, but no! The boy turned out to be a maniac. He was drinking, and smoking and god I hope he did not do drugs and that’s when I realised, that these are the last people I want to spend my last moments on Earth with. Like no what if I die in a car crash with them? I don’t want that and did I tell you how stupid I felt? Because I thought it was going to be a nice date but it turns out he had brought his friends with him and then oh god…” you sigh in frustration as you lay your head on your arms, tired from the events. “And I did not even eat anything since breakfast and I am starving but I have no money. How pathetic can I be?” You say to yourself while you stomp your foot on the ground in agony.

“Uh, I have money. I can pay for the meal, what do you want?” Eric asks softly as he asks for the menu to the waitress passing by.

“Do you want this to go on the tab?” She asks while handing out the menu to Eric. Looking at her in confusion, Eric stares back at you thinking you would know what she was talking about. “Oh, the card is still open. You can still order.” She says with a smile.

Giving Eric a look you look down at the menu. “Put your wallet away. Would you like to start with starters??” You ask Eric as you already start pointing out the dishes you want to have.

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“Whoa, I am full after having all of that.” You announce once both of you are seated in the car. Putting on your seatbelt you stare out the window.

“So um should I drop you off at your dorm?” Eric asks once he starts the car.

Looking back at him, you give him a nod. You knew he wanted to talk about that day again but you also knew about the fact that if he does bring it up, there is a huge possibility that you would have a breakdown.

The whole car ride there was silence. Both of you did not speak a single word to each other. To make the situation less awkward Eric did play the songs on the radio on low volume.

Reaching your dorm, you undo your seatbelt as you stare ahead of you not knowing what to say anymore.

“So um see you around I guess?” You hear Eric says as he breaks the awkward silence. Looking at him, you nod your head as you put your hand on the car door to unlock it only to get stopped in the middle.

“Wait, Y/N! I need to let you know something…” Eric speaks up before you could even leave the car.

You could feel him grab onto your hand as he made you sit back down on the seat.

“I hope you know that I do like you. I know that I said I only look at you as my best friend but…but maybe I feel something more than that? I am still trying to understand my feelings for you completely but please don’t shut me out like this. I don’t think I can ever go on with my life without you.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and gently places his hand on your cheeks before he looks into your eyes.

“Please don’t leave me like this, sweetheart.” Eric whispers softly. Your gaze unknowingly travels to his lips as you bring your lips closer to his.

Softly placing your lips onto his you start moving them in sync with each other, his chapped lips on your soft ones felt like a perfect pair to you.

Bringing your hands up to his chest you deepen the kiss more, moving your lips in sync you could feel his hands roaming all over your body.

Entangling your hands with his hair you pull on them a bit making Eric open his mouth which gave you an access to enter your tongue in.

You could feel both of your tongue’s fighting each other when you suddenly snapped out of it and pushed Eric away from you.

From the corner of your eyes, you could feel Eric look at you with a hurt gaze but before he could even speak up you had already opened the car door and stepped out of it, “See you around!” You say that in a hurry as you close the door with a small thud and walk away from there to your dorm.

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Closing the main door you slide down with your back against it. Bringing your hand up to your chest you hold it as you take in a few deep breaths.

“Y/N! Are you home?” You heard Soyeon shout from the living room. Not giving her an answer back you just stay on the floor not knowing what to do anymore.

You did not know why you did whatever you did back there. I mean kissing a taken man? That’s not good. Then making out with him? That’s worse.

“Oh god! Y/N! What happened??” You hear Soyeon shout in distress as runs towards you before sitting herself down on the floor with you.

“Did something happen at the date? Oh god, I am so sorry. I should have asked my friend more about that guy before setting you up. Did he turn out to be a total creep and a jerk?” Soyeon rambles off before she helps you take off your coat while you were still on the floor.

“I kissed him..” you tell her with your eyes staring at the wall which was in front of you, “I kissed him Soyeon and he’s…he’s taken. I am horrible…” you say with your voice wavering at the end.

You could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks which you did not bother enough to wipe.

“You kissed Jonah? Why?” Soyeon says in confusion as she takes a seat beside you before bringing her legs close to her chest as she rests her head on her knees and stares at you.

Slowly bringing her hand up she pulls your head towards her as she gently places it on her shoulder.

“I kissed Eric…” you say softly.

“What…but isn’t he?” Soyeon did not bother enough to complete her sentence.

“Exactly! I am so horrible. I cannot believe I let my feelings get the best of me. He practically cheated on Yuna with me…” you say with a crack in your voice. Sniffling, you look at Soyeon with sadness feeling your eyes. “Please don’t leave me just for this. I promise I am not a horrible person.” You cry out before your sobs grew harsher with each second.

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Sitting in the cafeteria alone you kept on playing with your food. It had been days since your last encounter with Eric.

He had not been coming to school ever since you guys kissed in his car, some part of you was glad that he did not attend the school because then that meant you wouldn’t have to face him but the other part of you was rather more worried about him.

All those what if’s returning to your mind, is he hurt, is he sick, did he wrap himself up in some kind of trouble? But your questions were left unanswered.

Sighing, you grab your bag as you start walking away from the cafeteria to the place where Eric’s best friend would most certainly be at.

You had to know if Eric was alright, all you needed to hear from them was that ‘Yes Y/N, Eric is alright. You don’t have to worry too much.’ That would at least make you worry less and not stress over anything.

Reaching the back of the school you see Juyeon and Sunwoo talking with each other as they played some video games on their phone.

Walking towards them, you stand in front of them grabbing their attention “Oh hey Y/N, what makes you come here?” Juyeon asks with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Nothing, I just wanted to know something. That’s all. Could you stop playing for a moment and pay attention?” You ask both of them, now getting annoyed at their behaviour and lack of attention.

Pausing the game Juyeon and Sunwoo look up at you with a confused face, “What’s up?” Sunwoo says awkwardly. Not knowing how to react to your sudden appearance

“Do you know where Eric is?” You ask them the question straight away. Not having the energy to beat around the bush anymore.

“Ah, did you not call him?” Juyeon says as if it was a normal thing for you. I mean normally it was, but not after you kissed your best friend and then walked away when you got back to your senses knowing that he is taken.

“If I would have called him I wouldn’t have been here now, would I Juyeon?” You say sarcastically as you flick his forehead in irritation and also because of how stupid his question was.

“Ow sorry and to answer your question Eric caught a…a cold a few days back so he was taking a break?” Juyeon says to you. From the way he was talking, it felt as if he himself did not know what he just said.

Looking back at Sunwoo you throw a glare in his direction when you notice him laughing at Juyeon. Seeing you look at him like that he immediately stopped laughing as he looked down at the ground too scared to look you in the eyes.

“Fine then, if that’s what you say so.” Saying that to them you walk away from the place with numerous thoughts floating in your mind.

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The next day when you entered the school hallway with Soyeon by your side, your eyes moved all over the place in search of Eric.

Walking towards your locker with Soyeon you noticed Eric standing by the class door with Juyeon, talking with him.

Handing all your books to Soyeon, you took big steps towards Eric, “Eric! Wait!” You shouted out his name only to get no response in return.

What you did not expect was for him to walk right past you without sparing you a glance. Stopping dead in your tracks you move your body around and stare at Eric’s figure walking away.

You noticed Juyeon turning his head back and looking at you with sympathy as he mouthed out a ‘sorry’ on behalf of Eric you suppose.

Giving him a small nod and a wave, you go towards Soyeon again as you take your books back from her hands, “Let’s go?” You say quietly as you start walking away from the place without letting her speak anything any further.

“I am sorry…” Soyeon says to you softly as he interlocks her hands with yours as she starts walking with you.

Giving her a smile you look down at the ground not knowing what to do anymore.

You knew you messed up when you initiated the kiss first. But did Eric really have to ignore you like that?

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It had been a few days since you last saw Eric again, he has been really irregular at school so confronting him face-to-face was not an option.

You tried everything, you called him, texted him, hell you even went over to his house but there was no answer.

The more time passes, the more worried you’re getting. Is he avoiding you on purpose? Is all of this happening just because of you? All you wanted to do at this point was make everything right but you could not do that. Not with the way Eric was treating you.

Is he now avoiding you on purpose? There were so many thoughts in your mind, so many questions but they remained unanswered.

Groaning in frustration you grab your coat and storm out of the house to go over at Juyeon’s. You were gonna get answers from him today, if he does not give you a proper answer you won’t let him off the hook and that’s for sure.

—x—

Stopping your car in front of his house, you stare at his front door with hesitation filling your body. Should you really be doing this? What if you’re crossing the boundary by doing this? Is this too much? Probably not right? I mean Eric did not break off your friendship with him just yet.

Stepping out of the car you lock it as you take slow, hesitant steps towards Juyeon’s house.

Ringing the doorbell, you wait for him to open the door. Okay, there’s still some time. You can just turn around and leave the place right now. That way you won’t have to confront him about Eric again.

Getting ready to turn around you were stopped by a voice calling out your name, “Y/N! Surprised to see you here…what brings you here tho?” You hear Juyeon ask with surprise laced in his tone of voice.

Looking at him with an awkward smile plastered on your face, you lick your lips thinking of the right words to say to him.

“May I come in first?” You say nervously as you shift your weight from one foot to another.

“Yeah sure, you’re always welcome. Come in…” Juyeon says as he steps aside for you to enter his house.

Removing your coat, Juyeon takes it from your hand and hangs it on the coat hanger as he leads you towards the living room.

“Want some hot chocolate? I was making some for myself…” Juyeon says as he walks towards the kitchen with you tailing behind him.

Taking a seat by the counter you shake your head as a no as you clear your throat, “I am here to speak with you about something that has been bugging me…” you tell him before you stare at his back.

You notice how he stopped pouring the hot chocolate into his cup before he turned around to give you his full attention, “Is this about Eric?” Juyeon asks slowly before he takes a seat in front of you.

Nodding your head you suck in a deep breath, “You see, I have been trying to reach him for days but he isn’t responding to any of my texts or calls. I even went over to his house but there was no answer. I know he is your closest friend and the fact that he shares everything with you so I probably know that you must be having an idea on why he is doing this. Please just tell me…” you say on the verge of tears.

“Y/N I don’t know if I have the right to tell you about what’s happening with Eric right now. Look, I know what you’re going through is really tough but…” juyeon stops talking when he sees the tears coming out of your eyes. “Y/N no…” Juyeon sighs softly as he stands up from his seat and pulls out a chair to sit down beside you.

“We’ve always shared everything, you know? And him just shutting me out like this suddenly pains me. I know I was at fault for kissing him but I regret it immensely right now because I certainly know that I might have ruined his relationship with Yuna. Look, all I want to do right now is just make things right with him. Just tell me where he is and I promise I won’t trouble you again.” You beg to him, sniffing you look at Juyeon with your red eyes and nose.

“If you say so. Eric’s at the hospital, his dad's been severely ill for the past few weeks which has led to him missing out on school and everything. Now I know that I told you this but don’t tell Eric. He did not want you to worry too much about him.” Juyeon says as he stands up and brings you a glass of water.

Getting a hold of the glass you take a few sips as you place the glass down on the counter again. “Thank you so much.” You say as you stand up from your chair, “Are you guys gonna plan something for his birthday tomorrow?” You ask him right before leaving.

Thinking for a bit Juyeon shakes his head as a no “He did not want us to do anything this time. He said he would be too busy tomorrow to even think about that.”

Nodding to his words you grab onto the door handle only to get stopped when Juyeon spoke again “Hey Y/N…”

Turning around you look at Juyeon with a slight frown on your face, “Yeah?”

“Please take care of yourself…” he says softly before giving your back a gentle pat.

Nodding to his words with a small smile on your face you open the door and walk towards your car, now somewhat feeling relieved.

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Standing in front of the hospital you look down at the cake which you had bought just for Eric. You knew that he would be busy looking after his father so the least you could do for now is buy him a cake so he can at least celebrate his birthday today.

Entering the hospital you go to the receptionist. “Hi, I am looking for Eric Sohn, his father was admitted recently.” You tell the woman sitting at the front.

You see her slide down her glasses as she stares at you for a minute or so before she starts flipping through the pages in front of her with no questions asked.

“Mr.Sohn is on the first floor, room number 111 and here’s your visiting ID. Do not lose it.” She says sternly before she goes back to doing her work.

Nodding at her words, you immediately scurry away from there.

Entering the elevator you press on the first floor button as you wait in silence. You did not know what to say to Eric once you met him.

You guys were never this awkward. Even when the first time you both met, the conversation with you both just flowed right.

Never did you ever think you would be in such an awkward position when it came to Eric and this just made you feel worse than you already were.

—x—

Reaching the floor you start walking towards the room Eric’s dad was in.

Standing in front of the door you stare at the scene in front of you through the glass window.

There stood Eric holding his dad's hand in his own hands as he spoke to himself. You could see that he was shaking, probably because of the cold or the fact that he was in fact crying.

Knocking on the door you wait for Eric to look up at you, once he did divert his attention in your direction you could feel yourself forgetting how to breathe when you saw his face.

He looked pale, probably a bit thinner than he used to. He most certainly lost a bit of weight which made you feel like you just hit rock bottom because why were you not with him when he needed someone by his side the most?

Taking a step back, you wait for Eric to collect himself together because obviously, this was a shock for him seeing you here in the flesh after not responding or talking with you for days.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Eric asks you once he comes out of the room after trying to make himself look presentable enough.

“It’s your birthday, so I brought you a cake.” You say with a smile playing upon your face as raise your hand up to show him the bag which had his favourite cake in it.

“Who told you about me being here?” Eric asks, his voice sounding serious yet it still held that gentleness in him that he always has when talking with you.

“That does not matter. What matters is that I am here for you right now. Please just…just celebrate your birthday with me?” You ask him softly as you walk backwards and sit on the seats which were placed outside. “Look I know you’re in a rough spot right now, but all I ask from you today is for you to spare a few minutes max to max and just celebrate your birthday. I promise I won’t ever trouble you again.” You say the last line with difficulty.

Sighing Eric walks towards you as he sits down beside you. Closing his eyes he makes a wish as he blows out the candles which you had lit for him.

Opening them up, Eric cuts the cake as he feeds you a piece of it.

—x—

Taking a stroll on the rooftop of the hospital, both of you talked with each other about what you have been missing out on.

You kept Eric updated on all the things that have been happening in school since he has been missing out a lot. You told him how Soyeon almost choked Sunwoo because of how annoying he was. In her defence, Sunwoo had no reason to keep on troubling her and in the end, Sunwoo did get what he deserved.

You also promised to keep him updated on all the classes he has been missing out on despite being from different majors, which Eric was immensely grateful for.

Stopping by the railings, you and Eric stared at the night sky, the moon which was now shining brightly as you looked for stars that were covered by the clouds.

“Y/N, I have been meaning to tell you this…” you hear Eric say with a serious voice. Turning your gaze to him you notice him looking at you with no expressions on his face.

“Look, I…I like you sweetheart. I really do. The time we spent apart these past few days, I understood my feelings towards you. But at the moment, I really don’t have the time to commit to a proper relationship yet. I don’t think I have it in me to be in a committed relationship and with everything going on, I don’t know if I can truly give you the proper attention you deserve. I know you like me, I like you too but…now’s not the right time. I don’t even know when my dad will be all better. Hell, I don’t even know if I can still come to school regularly. I am so sorry.” Eric says as a tear rolls down his pale cheek.

Wiping the lone teardrop, you give him a small broken smile as you immediately take a step back, too afraid you would do something you would regret later on.

“Well, at least you told me about this.” You say as you sniffle. Looking up at the dark sky you try to keep your tears in which Eric immediately took a notice of.

“No, no please don’t cry because of me, sweetheart..” Eric says softly as he immediately engulfs your smaller figure in his own warm one as he tries his best to comfort you by keeping your body close to his and hugging you tightly.

Pushing him away gently you take another step back before you give him a shake of your head. “I think it’s best if I leave now…” you say, your voice wavering a bit at the end “Happy Birthday though…” you say with a small smile.

Saying that you immediately walk away from there, not having enough courage or the energy to look Eric in the eye after what he just said.

You knew you should not have kissed him. This is all because of you, and now because of this small mistake, you lost a friendship that you used to value and love so deeply.

Meanwhile all Eric did was watch you walk away from him with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Kneeling down on the ground he brought his knees closer to his chest as he started sobbing, his body shaking violently with each sob leaving his mouth.

All he wanted at that moment was for your arms to be around his body, hug him closely but that was not possible since you were not there with him anymore. He had lost you, forever.

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Entering the dorm, you don’t care enough to inform Soyeon about your arrival. Entering your room you slump down on your bed with a tired sigh leaving your mouth.

You could feel your body giving up, you don't even know what you’re going to do anymore at this point. You did everything you could to make things right but nothing worked.

What if you would have not went over to Juyeon’s house, would things right now be different, maybe even better? Or maybe if you would not have gone over to Eric today, to celebrate his birthday this would not have even happened.

Biting onto your pillow you stop yourself from letting out the sobs you were dying to let out. You knew Soyeon was sleeping right now, you did not want to be a burden to her anymore.

“Y/N? Are you okay babe?” You heard Soyeon’s soft voice speaking through the doorway as she slowly opened the door to your room and let herself in.

“No Y/N…” Soyeon says mostly to herself as she immediately joins you on your bed. Lying down beside you, she hugged your body closer to hers from the back as she patted your head whispering sweet things in your ear, hoping that would calm you down.

“I am so pathetic, So…I just…I wish I could just die right now. I cannot believe I just ruined my friendship with Eric. I…” you could not even get yourself to finish the sentence as you let out harsh sobs, not being able to control them anymore “I ruined everything…” you say as a hiccup leaves your mouth.

“Shh, Y/N if anything Eric is also with you in this. It’s not like the kiss was one-sided. He kissed you back…” Soyeon says as she continues to pat your head.

The entire night, all you could remember was crying your eyes out as you spoke incoherent words to Soyeon. You knew you were gonna have a puffy face and a bad headache tomorrow morning.

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It was the 31st today, the day everyone would be rejoicing since in less than 24 hours it would be the start of a new year, a new chapter of everyone’s life, a new beginning to something beautiful for some people, sour reality for some of them since they were dreading this time of the year since their whole lives.

For you it was no different, you were not in the mood to celebrate with your friends, and you did not have the energy to even leave the comforts of your bed after everything that has been happening in your life.

It was just you, your bed, your laptop with your favourite TV show on loop and the cup of hot coffee that was with you since day one.

“Are you sure you’re just going to be okay to stay here all alone on the new year?” Soyeon asks you as soon as she enters your room. Giving her a nod you wave her goodbye.

—x—

Checking your phone, you frowned in confusion when you saw 20 missed calls by Eric. 20 missed calls? At this time of the day? By Eric? Why would he even call you?

Immediately dialling his number, you wait for him to pick up the call only to get sent off to voicemail.

Getting worried you get out of your bed in a hurry as you grab your car and house keys and head towards the door.

Opening the door you jump back in surprise when you see Eric standing in front of you with his hands placed on his knees as he took deep breaths in while trying to catch his breath.

“Why…why the hell were you…not picking up your calls!?” Eric shouts at you while still trying to catch his breath.

Standing up properly, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand before he looked you in your eyes, “Are you free?” Eric asks once he his breathing had gone back to normal.

Looking down at the attire you were wearing, you stare back up at Eric with an awkward smile. “Well looking at the fact that I am in my pyjamas I think I am free yeah.” You notice Eric roll his eyes playfully as he enters your house and grabs your coat which was hanging on the coat hanger.

“Wear this. It’s cold outside…” Eric whispers in your ears as he helps you wear the coat.

“Where are we going though?” You ask Eric, noticing the impatience.

“Just start walking will ya?” Eric says as he grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours unknowingly.

—x—

You both had been walking on the twinkling footpath since the last few minutes. The silence had engulfed you both but this time it felt more comfortable rather than awkward.

You looked around the busy streets of the road as everyone was out there celebrating the last day of the year with their loved ones.

Reaching a calmer and quieter street you looked around the place when you noticed that there was no one around and it was just the two of you there.

“Okay sweetheart, what I am about to tell you, just please listen to me before you say anything okay?” You hear Eric say. Turning around to face him you notice Eric taking a seat on the grass as he stares ahead at the scenery which is in front of him. “Come sit.” He says as he pats the place beside him.

Sitting down beside him you screech in surprise when Eric pulls you closer to his body while grabbing onto your waist. “That’s better,” Eric whispered softly before he took a deep breath in.

“I missed you…” he says softly as he straightens out the strands of your hair which were flying around everywhere.

Looking him in the eye you softly respond to him “I missed you too. All I did was think about you since our last encounter and I…I am sorry.” You whisper that, afraid your voice would break if you speak any louder.

“I wanted to tell you something, I just couldn’t get myself to say it out loud because I was afraid something would happen.” You give him a look of encouragement, a sign for him to continue speaking which he caught on immediately.

“I love you Y/N, I knew that when we were away from each other and I was sure of my feelings for you when we had that talk on the rooftop of the hospital. I was just so caught up in the fact that my dad was on the verge of dying I unknowingly pushed you away. I knew I left you in the dark after just disappearing after we had kissed that day in my car and that was no way in hell right but…I was just so much in denial about the fact that I love you more than a friend. I was freaking out over the fact that I might lose you if our relationship does not go well, I was afraid that I would mess it all up when we got together but when we had a talk on my birthday, I realised that you’re the only person I will ever love this much, I just love the way you smile when I make a stupid joke even though it was not funny. I was afraid that if I confessed my feelings we would not be able to spend Christmas together, which we did not because of my stupidity. I missed the time when we would bake the cookies on Christmas Eve, I missed the time when we would wrap the gifts we bought for our friends for the Christmas even though they were utterly ridiculous but most of all, I missed spending time with you sweetheart. I missed hearing your sweet voice, I missed the fact that you were not the first person who wished me a Merry Christmas. I love you Y/N. I truly do and this time, I am ready to commit. Commit for us and for this relationship we would have in the future. Would you take the honours and be my girlfriend?” Eric says as breaks down in tears at the end of the sentence.

Grabbing his cheeks, you make him look up as you lean closer and place your lips on top of his, you could taste the saltiness of his tears but the sweet taste of the lip balm he was wearing.

Smiling in the kiss, you move closer to him as you move your hands towards his neck as you pull him closer towards you. You could feel the slight smile that appeared on his lips.

Being lost in the kiss, you both failed to notice the snow that had started to fall, that was until you saw the small snow that rested on Eric’s nose which made you let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny sweetheart?” Eric says between the kiss as he kisses you deeper, not even letting you answer the question he had just asked.

Pulling away, you look at Eric with a wide smile resting on your cheeks, your smile reaching your eyes, his favourite kind of smile of yours truly.

“Is that a yes then?” Eric asks as a giggle escapes his lips. Giving him a small nod you peck his red nose as you let out a small laugh.

“See, I can be the one for you sweetheart.” Eric says with a silly smile on his face before he starts peppering your face with kisses making you fall down on the grass as laughter blares through the quiet place.

“I never said you couldn’t…” you say with laughter. “I love you, Eric Sohn…” you whisper softly as you look up at him while lying down on the ground, as Eric stared down at you while being above you.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Eric whispers the last words as he kisses you deeply.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

OFMD S2 EP 4-5: Izzy Hands (from a S1 Izzy fan)

I'll admit. I teared up at the Izzy shit in ep 1-3. Not a full-blown cry. But close. I was stressed, and tired, and hurt more than anything. I only cried in my car driving home. It hit, but it was more prolonged.

Do you know what got me crying? Izzy opened that letter, revealing 'For The New Unicorn'. He looks up and smiles. I went from 0-100 dry eyes to crying in seconds. I had to rewatch it because HELL.

The entire episode, hell, debatably from (S1ep4) we see Izzy go through it. Socially isolated and losing his identity. Leading up to S2ep4. Drunk and sad and heartbroken. He tries his best to stay afloat without a lifejacket as his self crumbles around him. He doesn't care anymore. He thinks his life is over. He lashes out because there's no one there to help him.

BUT THEN THE LEG. He cried and I cried during both scenes.

BECAUSE HE IS CARED ABOUT AND HE CAN HEAL!

GOD, and the way that leads into EPISODE 5. Izzy slicked his hair back and regaining some of his own personal identity. Izzy genuinely bantering with Stede, and gently helping him to be a better Captain. The way he desperately asks Stede if Ed said anything else nice about him? Showing that. Yeah, he's not all the way there yet, but he's working on it. The training scene where Izzy just looks on in fascinated horror at Stede's skills? THE LITTE OKAY HANDSIGNAL AT THE END WHEN STEDE USED HIS GRUFF VOICE? He smiles, and jokes, and TRIES. Izzy is pissed, obviously, but he's getting there.

He is kind and caring, all WHILE STILL BEING A PRICK? Him being a total nerd during the curse monologue? Izzy mutters 'rude' and pointedly crosses his legs as Stede ruins the vibe. I laughed harder at Izzy sitting at that desk than I did at most of the jokes in the show. THAT'S MY FUCKING BASTARD!! I'm so happy I saw a character and have been rewarded by showing, yes. He is kind, and trying, but he needs to learn to let himself become new.

I fucking love him. I can tell from the teaser that Izzy is just going to grow closer with the crew (and with himself) and I can't wait. (Even if it means his imminent capture, whoops).

I do think they'll do something with Izzy/Lucius, at least a single happy (Izzy no longer holding himself back from wanting) consensual kiss or genuine discussion about life(post-wedding) to show their growth as characters because I had to pause with the cig and shark interaction. Jesus Christ. I didn't really ship it before, but they are so snarky and it's great.

I'm a bit sad as Izzy's current arc likely means he might not get the big 'fuck you' moment of anger to Ed that Lucius got. Mainly because Con would make me cry, but If Izzy is genuinely just shoving this shit down, ignoring the years that Ed ignored his existence, then...idk.

They purposefully gave Izzy and Ed no scenes and thank god we get a TINY break. Because Ed will try to patch things up, and I don't think it works like that with Izzy. He needs proof that Ed is trying. Add to that Ed ACTUALLY saying sorry to him, and not expecting Izzy to immediately accept it(my theory as to why Lucius pointed it out: Ed will ACTUALLY say sorry to Izzy and mean it. This will heal something for Izzy, and hell). I can't wait for Ed to come back and see him. See him for who he is, a silly prick who is loyal to a fault, who is loved.

This is likely the happiest two episodes we'll get, and fuck, I loved them both SO MUCH. After a rewatch I'll write about the crew. Ed/Stede is actually working for me as we watch them both learn, and Fuck, Lucius/Pete...my darlings.

NOW FOR THE TEASER:

THE IDEA OF SEEING CON IN DRAG AGAIN MAKES ME SO HAPPY! Especially what it means for Izzy. Izzy lets his hair down and has fun with Wee John as he explores what actually makes him happy. Hell, him opening up to being a bit of a masochist as a joke while tied up is...actually my favorite thing (while obvious, given his propensity to put Ed before him in all matters, Izzy casually mentioning 'I like to be roughed a bit up' in front of the crew is the type of openness about himself that I crave). Izzy "cocksuckers" Hands letting himself joke about SEX-GAY SEX(probably)- Kill me now.

(To clarify: I don't think he or Ed ever got off to the abuse, hell, we see Ed flinch away when Anne/Mary do it. That's not the face of someone who knows what that's like as the Sadist).

I just love the way Izzy has so obviously relaxed into a person that he'd never let exist. Hell. I hope Izzy gets to rub this happier version of himself RIGHT in Edward's sad face. I need a 'he was never like this with me' moment of Ed watching Izzy SMILE to parallel Izzy's jealousy in S1.

Con obviously loves this character, you can see it in the performance. He fills the role perfectly, from his ups to his downs. Con smiles and hell, that's not Con, that's Izzy fucking Hands. Striding along proudly pretending his world isn't changing, because it is, and he is healing and I LOVE IT.

I am so proud of our growing Izzy loving community. For some, we've been through a lot of shit. Probably in life, and hell, maybe even in this fandom. Even if you haven't been harassed, you loved Izzy, you saw yourself in him, and I hope you felt the show giving us a big fucking hug.

We grow, we recover, and hell. We get a happy fucking ending (with a few yet-to-be-seen bumps in the road).

[apples4day]

BLAME || Yandere! TDWT x Fem! Reader

2/2 EPISODE THREE (Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan)

I was sick.

This is part six!! Go read other parts if u haven’t

"Uh..what?" Noah seemed to speak for everyone. "That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo. Total Drama is HUGEEE here!" Chris stated and stood in front of the screen. Courtney crossed her arm, "okay? But that was in ENGLISH so why are they dubbing our voices?"

"Turns out the locals just don't like the sounds of y'all, sorry!"

"No you're not."

"Trueee, ready for the next challenge? I hope you payed attention because you'll be writing, directing, and producing your very own Japanese commercial. There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market, it's chefs Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails! I call this the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails challenge of celebration fun."

Chef looked upset. "You said we were going to pay a real Tokyo ad firm."

"Oops, I did! Didn't I? As props you'll be allowed to use anything you can find in the airplane storage area. Since team Chris is really really really really really hot won the first challenge, they get to choose their props first."

Your team all high-fived and cheered. Tyler slipped when he tried, and you were struggling to reach up to high five. Izzy noticed your struggles and let out her little crazy giggles. You laughed when he fell. "Ooh that's rough. Need some help there?" You leaned over and stuck your hand out for him to grab. This had been the first time he ACTUALLY payed attention to you. He didn't realize it before but you're his type...and really pretty to literally everyone's standards.

"Uhhh yeah, thanks." He took your hand and scratched the back of his head, blushing slightly. You nodded, "no problem!" Then turned back to your group. Not noticing the glares from Noah, Alejandro, and a slight look from Izzy to Tyler.

Chris continued, "with team victory choosing second and team amazon stuck with whatever drags are left." After everyone processed the challenge, he dismissed them for a short break. You were gonna be the last to walk out, getting shoved away immediately. "Y/nnnn," he dragged your name out and approached you. "Uh..yes?"

"So! This isn't recording don't worry. But you're really making the reviews go higher. Fans are going CRAZY! They want some more romance though. We'd appreciate it if you talked to some more competitors..romantically! Like Alejandro, or even a girl!" He suggested, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Uhm.." you glanced around the room nervously.

"You know what else would get some good ratings? Some forbidden romance! With me." He winked and smiled playfully. "Um..sure. What do I get out of this whole romance thing? And why are they going crazy over specifically me?" You asked. He laughed lightly, "glad ya asked! Fans noticed the tension you have with well..everyone! Even me. So if you play into their fantasies I'll give you some advantages, kay?" He looked oddly mischievous. "Okay? Um..how exactly do I do that?"

"Just keep on doing what you're doing. Then add some playful flirting or innocent flirting depending on the person." He shrugged, "try being the sweet competitor. I really don't care, just get those ratings up!" He smiled at you even harder and then took his arm off your shoulders. "Now get going before people get suspicious. Advantages will come after those ratings come in." Chris winked, pointing the door. You smiled awkwardly and slightly furrowed your brows before waking out.

—

You and your team now stood before a bunch of boxes. Alejandro hummed, "hmm I'm seeing..a tiny Tokyo..a giant radioactive monster!"

Izzy giggled, "yes! Big O can be the monster, huh? Big O pleaseeee."

Owen growled and laughed weirdly, "Al, you're a genius!"

"Super Japanese idea Al, nice!"

Alejandro smirked and looked at you and Noah, "Noah, Y/n? What's say you?"

"Meh I guess."

You smiled and shifted your weight from one foot to another, "great idea. As expected."

Alejandro wasn't expecting a compliment from you. Based off your previous interactions...it was new. Not that he minded. He quite liked it. Tyler placed a soldiers helmet on Noah and you giggled. "Lookin' good," you pointed to his hat. "Oh..thanks."

What's up with you? Both Noah and Alejandro noticed you being slightly nicer. (#trynnagettheshowsreviewsupbcchrissaidso)

Your team began walking out, you weren't carrying anything. You noticed Alejandro stayed behind to talk to Harold and decided to watch.

"Good luck, honorable opponent."

"I don't need your luck!"

"Of course you don't, you have superior leadership skills and vision. Your team is lucky to have you."

"I know right! They are! Right?"

Harold turned to his group. Lindsay raised her finger, "I have an idea! Last time I went for Japanese I had this huge bowl of pad Thai."

Leshawna groaned, "pad Thai is THAI!"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."

Harold began talking bout' some weird shit and Alejandro walked away, you followed after him and once you caught up to him you placed a hand on his arm. He hadn't noticed you were there so he jumped back slightly and laughed awkwardly when he realized it was you. You raised a brow, "What was that about?" You referred to him talking to team victory.

"Just giving them a little push. By the way..." He pulled you into a secluded area, looking around to see if anyone else was looking. "What did you decide? To make me your enemy or friend?"

"Oh um...friend?" It came out as more of a question. Originally you were gonna say enemy, but Chris' advantages were too tempting. Winning is easier this way. He smiled at your answer and hummed. "Good."

"Or more than friends.." you added awkwardly, trying to get them advantages from Chris 🤰

Alejandro smirked, "yeah? Did you fall for my charms?"

"Maybe I did, you'd like that, huh?" You smiled, brushing against his shoulder and walking to where your team was. Alejandro stood there and looked at you as you walked away.

CONFESSIONAL- ALEJANDRO

"Okay...that was..weird." Alejandro looked confused.

"She's hated me up until now. What changed?"

He smirked.

"Not that I'm complaining. I just need her to stop talking to Noah. Then we can be more than friends, in her words. That doesn't seem like it's gonna happen though. I'll have to threaten her or make some alliance rules. That or I'll just...get rid of him."

CONFESSIONAL- ALEJANDRO; ENDED

You were building mini tokyo with Noah and Tyler. The floor was shaking because Owen was stomping around like a monster. "He needs to stop," you whispered to Noah and Tyler while playing with a little building. Noah looked at you, then Owen, and then stood up. "Hold on there chubby buddy, let us finish the tiny city first." He told Owen, looking serious.

You smiled at him, "awww did you do that for me?" He rolled his eyes, "no, for our team."

"Yeah sure, I'm growing on you."

Noah grimaced, "no. Never." When you weren't paying attention, he mumbled. "Maybe.."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Keep working pinkie pie." His cheeks flushed.

Alejandro was sitting in a chair with chefs snack, ready to try it. You watched with interest. He popped one in his mouth before throwing up. "Ughh!"

CONFESSIONAL- ALEJANDRO

"Like rotten fish intestine with a side order of fermented squid and dirty hockey equipment." He looked scared and then threw up again.

CONFESSIONAL- ALEJANDRO; ENDED

Once you finished your area of mini tokyo, you stood up and looked over at Tyler's work so far. "You're doing a really good job," you complimented, looking like you were in awe. "You think so? Thanks! You did pretty good too," he replied, looking over at your area.

Noah watched the exchange with a sour face, glaring at Tyler. "Thank you, you know we haven't talked a lot." You pointed out, sighing. Tyler nodded in agreement. "Yeah..hopefully we'll talk more now. You seem pretty chill."

"You too, I think you're cute by the way."

Tyler turned a bit red at how direct you were and then went back to working. "Um..thanks. You're really cute." You smiled at his compliment, "thank you!"

"Yeah.."

Noah continued watching, a weird feeling building up. "Stop flirting before I barf," Noah snapped. He looked displeased. You both just looked at him oddly.

—

Skip

Everybody was now back in the room from before. "We're done shooting Owen, you can take the suit off!" Tyler told Owen, he looked concerned. "I got really sweaty and now it won't come off."

You gagged.

"Okay now that you're done filming it's time to see if your hard work payed off, chef?" Chris began.

"No budget, no ad agency, rip off cheese ball cheap show..." Chef was mumbling.

"First up! Team Chris is really really really hot with monster rampage!" Chris pointed to the screen.

Owen was smashing tiny Tokyo and crushing little cars. Alejandro yelled, "oh no!!"

"We must run!" Tyler put his finger up.

"Think of our children!" You and Noah grabbed onto each other and faked looking scared.

"He's so hot!" Izzy yelled out. You all looked at her in shock. Owen made more monster noises. "Wait! We shall stop him this way!" Alejandro pulled out Chefs snacks and threw one into monster Owen's mouth. "Oh delicious!"

The screen then cut to a little song and then a picture of the snack. You didn't really like the commercial you guys came up with but figured it was probably the best out of all the teams.

"Next up team victory with a samurai's lament!"

You watched the commercial, trying really hard not to laugh. What the fuck is this? Did Harold come up with this? You thought. It was some weird dying samurai getting begged for food and then eating Chefs snack before passing away on the floor. The whole thing was a mess. They even forgot their lines. Team victory looked ashamed, all with wide eyes.

"Yeah..that was interesting." Chris crossed his arms. Leshawna looked at Lindsay, "maybe your pad thai idea wasn't so bad." Lindsay got a little mad, "see I told you!" Harold began ranting about how his commercial was art only to get shut up by Chris. "Next up, the amazons!" Courtney, Gwen, and Heather all looked unprepared. They began whispering to each other.

"Chris as the leader of the team, it falls to me to tell you that our team didn't-" Courtney got cut off by Cody, "come up with an amazing title for our awesome commercial!"

Gwen looked confused, "we have a commercial?"

Cody continued, "let's just call it..huh?"

The commercial was short and quick, with exploding donuts and dead talking birds. You burst out laughing, You were basically dying. Everyone else looked flabbergasted. "That was great!" You said, wiping away tears from laughing. Cody thought it was a genuine compliment and smiled proudly. Chris looked genuinely concerned, "o-kayyy...well chef?"

"Chris..I think I gotta go with team Amazon."

You immediately stopped smiling and laughing, "what?!"

Team Amazon cheered. "I don't know I just love exploding donuts." Chef said. Team amazon began complimenting Cody.

CONFESSIONAL- Y/N

"WHAT THE ****?? HOW DID THEY WIN WITH THAT ****!! *****?! **** *** CHEF!"

Your confessional was bleeped out because Chris was trying to keep it family friendly!! 🥰 (you said "what the fuck?? how did they win with that shit!! Cunts?! Fuck you Chef!) alsooo cunt isn't a superrrr bad word where I'm from, sorry Americans for being sensitive to that word...😞

CONFESSIONAL- Y/N; ENDED

Team victory lost. Ironic, team VICTORY lost AGAIN. You were now talking to Alejandro privately. "So, now that we're in alliance can we please try harder to win? I'm gonna shoot myself if we lose again." You begged, holding his hands in yours. "Don't worry, for you, I'll win. We'll be in first class next time." He shrugged, smiling slightly at your touch. "How exactly are we gonna win though?"

"You'll see."

NOT proofread

Sorry this chapter was crazy, idk what I was thinking with the whole Chris deal?? This chapter sucks I'm so sorry😭

Part seven coming soon. Follow for notifications!!

Tyler and Izzy are gonna be the next victims to your charms🤷‍♀️

Who's next after them? 🤰🤰

[from-izzy]

things/aesthetic you associate with your moots please!

anon! this is such a fun ask! thank you so much for this one!! 😍

i'm doing the ones i've talked to enough (dm and/or on gcs) for me to (somewhat) answer this ask (sorry if i missed you or gave you something that doesn't suit you 😭) also limiting to fifteen (15) things or else we'll probably be here all day oop---

my obsession with alphabetical order strikes once again!!

honestly this became more of an appreciation post but 🥺

@astrae4

my child, cute round glasses, colourful heart shaped balloons and parties, 'i just go with the flow', energiser, miffy, light blue jeans, photobooths, wanderlust, 'paris! it's no longer just europe now', ice skating, falling gracefully despite being sick and swamped into 'sewer water' 😭, bakeries, caffeine in the form of daily matcha, doesn't like me as much as i thought she did

@cloverdaisies

black and white (with a splash of red), dynamic hair colour changes, black sleeveless satin dress, but also oversized monochromic shirts, a glass of wine one on hand, blurred pictures, mirror selfies with flash on, eyeliner wings, but also fruity and lovely, same age but so mature, 'guys it's due today and i haven't started', 'i knew you would come back with time' (🥺), juvenile, no emojis at all, sarcasm (not) detected most of the time (i'm gullible ok 😭)

@cupidjyu

my hyunjae bestie!!, bows and croquette, pink and white, picnic with flowers, toro inoue, spring breeze, texting and chatting during school times, 'i'm bored' (talking about class), thirteen-hour time zone difference (and my body clock makes it worse), 'sunwoo is cute!', but also 'hyunjae!', but also sleep >>> anything (including hyunjae 🙄), sexy brain (please gimme those braincells), going around in circles, 'why do you do this to yourself? sleep!'

@heemingyu

honey bee, distorted purple and white aesthetic, gilmore girls, late deep night talks, love and patience, three-leaf clover (shamrocks), the grinch filter, being a huge menace to society but still lovable so it's hard to really tell her off, in reality i love her more than she loves me, but i still give her silent treatment anyways, 'naur', economics and crying, missing the bus and then blaming it on me, black cat, izz instead of izzy 🥺

@justalildumpling

chaotic sibling energy, my no.1 bitch, casual night time walks, fearless, freedom, making videos during said walks, lovesick puppy, ohmyface by silichmasha on instagram, side eyes, selfies with a slightly tilted head, sometimes cutely gaped open mouth other times closed (either way it makes me wanna squish her cheeks most of the time), 'izzy i have tea! well...not really tea! actually no it's tea!', talking late into the night (well...the morning), sunlight and blue sky seeping into her blinds, 'come get unready with me!'

@littleroaes

pastel purple, pastel pink, pastel blue, basically fairy floss, innocence and beauty, supportive and real, very shy, long white dresses, flowers all around her dancing in the wind, but is also very funny, drawing reactions, sometimes talking in all caps, sometimes talking with lower caps, all the time very cute, sitting down at the beach and watching sunsets

@mosviqu

pink and white, scarfs and gloves, long-sleeved shirts paired with short skirts, long drives with dynamic playlists changes, and would ask her friends to go and make sure they have a great time, jamming out to a playlist at 3am (but she has a healthy sleep schedule so), that one friend who knows what to do, not afraid to express herself 99% of the time, the other 1% is just the world being mean, will always be a white cat, 'izzy i'm so proud of you', words of comfort, head pats!!, artistically talented, eric sohn's soulmate

@winterchimez

soulmates (but lives in the wrong country), ireland, loving mother vibes, but also tired mother vibes, sunrise vibes but specifically orange and yellow, hard worker, faith in god, quiet art museums but also bustling concert halls, turning bitterness in life into a lesson that can never be replaced and is always thankful for the opportunity even though the period of that life was hard, mental and physical resilience through crazy back to back schedules, videocalling on the bus/train on the way home, 'so/saur', my favourite purple jacket, music and piano are forever ally's vibe tbh, 'if i missed your call, i will always call you back'

@zzoguri

crying when seeing a friend, headphones all day every day, classy look, black top with light blue jeans, vintage camera film filter, journalism (it really does suit you), 'YEAH YEAH I GET YOU!', crying about uni (same tho 😭), gaming for hours, specifically valorant, my infj bestie, acoustic guitar vibes (ykwim?), 'you're so valid though', a distinct unique accent, jacob bae's partner

[alexanderlightweight]

Another prompt i shall giveth thee, because my mind cant stop working for anything.

For all my genderfluid people out there i would like one where alec finds out about the LGBTQ+ comunity and besides loving a man alec is also genderfluid. I ask this because in your mobwife au we see alec in heels and the headcannon of alec teaching izzy how to do it and keeps it up lives rent free in the abandoned building that is my mind, and because of it alec has relizations of his own.

Thank you

hey i love the prompts i get and you've sent in great ones! this was quite fun for me! i am genderqueer so this is a bit more geared towards my brain and headcanon of alec. i hope you enjoy!

lumine

-

It’s the heels that do it.

Not the heels themselves, but what they represent and how they show Alec what he’s missing.

Izzy is delighted when he starts to work with her on wearing heels and Alec finds himself envious. Not of the heels or her joy, but that she’s found a way to freely express her intimate and personal self and that it brings her so much joy.

Alec doesn’t understand it, because he’s a soldier before he’s a person and while his parents have always made it clear that he’s the first son, that he has a duty to continue the Lightwood name and sire children, Alec knows thats the duty of any heir.

To bear or sire more nephilim to fight. It has nothing to do with the fact that people call him a man and everything to do with the fact that he's the firstborn.

He’s a soldier and heir in the way that Izzy is a woman, Alec decides one day. Because it’s the only thing he can think of that fit. Izzy loves her femininity and she embraces it with an eager passion that Alec finds himself envious of.

There isn’t much that Alec finds himself enjoying about himself or who and what he is.

Until Magnus.

Magnus who lets Alec exist but doesn’t push and when Alec finally settles down with him, lets himself soften and unveil his raw edges… he learns.

He’s not just a soldier but he’s still not a man.

Alec is Magnus’ boy.

That’s probably one of his favorite ones.

Because Alec never got a chance to be anything but a soldier when growing up and living and the only thing he has to do as Magnus’ boy, is be loved and love in return.

Sometimes Alec is referred to as a man by others and he’s vaguely amused, a small smirk on his lips. It’s not something that he considers needing to share or explain until Magnus asks him, one day.

When he explains, Magnus is curiously silent and gentle and he just smiles, telling Alec that when he’s curious to learn more. When he’s more settled into himself than just a soldier and as Magnus’, that Magnus will be happy to help him explore and learn just what he’s comfortable with.

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

(ofmd crit)

again thinking about the differences between s1 and 2 surrounding humor and it being a comedy show. like s1 was fun, joyful, feel good comedy. s2 had not one but TWO sa jokes (hopefully only two! i don't remember any besides those). HOW do you jump so far like that. how on earth did they go from one to the other. it's actually mind boggling.

the more i think about it all, to me it really feels like s1 was just something they were all having fun with, and s2 is what happened when they got too popular and they felt like they had to make a statement and really do something to keep up the popularity from s1. does that make sense? jfc man. the difference between the seasons is just SO unfortunate for everyone involved bc they really did have such a good base.

I feel you so much, anon.

You know, right after s2 ended I was upset and I thought it was only because of what happened to Izzy.

But the truth is, the more I thought about it, the more holes I could poke in the new season. And I didn't like that. I suppose the writers just lost the plot? Because the cast is amazing, and they deserved so much amazing material. And while yeah, there were moments that were great this season, it definitely didn't feel like the same show it was in s1. That one felt consistently amazing. And personally, I think of it in two ways.

On one hand we were given some frame of reference in s1, and doing things differently in s2 could be disorienting for someone who's tuning in for the new season after loving the first.

But that isn't necessarily bad! Hell, the first two episodes of s2 were incredibly dark, but I was with it! I would've loved it so much if they explored the darker themes more, really put their pussies in it like they did at the beginning of the season.

And yeah, you're right about the SA jokes. It's... distasteful of DJenkins to "okay" the insertion of those in s2 and then turning around and calling the show "kind". That's. That's not kind, my guy. In what world is it kind?

Anyways I still have *many* opinions about this show, so if you'd like to anon, I'd be happy to share my thoughts some more.

Thank you for the ask <3

[tallowfallow]

The Calico Jack episode enlightened me to something very important and something I've seen other fandom writers pick up on, even subconsciously.

Lucius and Pete are the ultra-supportive gay couple who have your back no matter what or who you are.

When Stede makes Jack "cry", Pete's immediately there with "you made him cry :(" and Lucius follows up with "well, it was a sort of bitchy question >:("

Imagine Swede's showing off a new shirt he's made and yeah it isn't the best but as soon as someone says it's terrible, here comes Lucius: "Well, actually, I think it looks pretty fucking good and it's very creative and smart of Swede to use such clashing colours to make a statement. Swede, honey, it's gorgeous."

And then Pete chimes in: "Yeah and it obviously took some hard work! That's like amazing, most people would give up but he stuck it out! So what if it's not perfect, everything can't be perfect-- if it was, everything would be boring too! It looks really good on him."

Thing is, they do this to literally everyone. Someone criticized Frenchie's musical skills? Lucius buts in: "Actually, he's doing amazing, thanks for asking. He's very talented and he could probably be like a real professional playing in bars."

Someone makes fun of Oluwande? Here comes Pete, who canonically does not get along with him: "Hey, you fucking watch it. That's my friend right there and he's pretty great so I don't wanna hear you saying any shit about him. Keep your shitty opinions to yourself. Oluwande, don't listen to them, they don't know anything."

Someone makes a comment on Stede's lack of piracy skills and Lucius swoops in: "He's trying his fucking best and he's doing a good job at it! He's only just started, we all can't be experts as soon as we started, don't be a dick."

Even Izzy. Someone heckles him by calling him old and dried-up and here comes Pete: "You realize the reason he's an older pirate is because he's one of the best fucking ones on this sea, right? He's an amazing first mate!"

And Lucius, attempting to wrap his arm around Izzy's shoulders but he stops because he think Izzy will bite him, says: "He's not even that old! And he looks good anyway! I bet nobody else will look this good at 50."

So they aren't the bitchy ultra-critical gay couple. No, that's Frenchie and Wee John.

[mosviqu]

could u assign ur moots as a particular fic you’ve written??

ANON this is the most fun mutual game ive ever recieved thank u 😋

@csenke is definitely how we make sunny days. her vibe is very much sweet and calming and very very comforting. this fic is very golden hour late autumn vibes which fits her a lot hhh. but also i feel like i should say liebestraum bc....duh.. 🙄

@zzoguri is sympathy subtraction. and mon now, this fic is special to me. but i somehow think you have the same comforting vibe but also you and your work kind of radiate the same longing as this fic does?? also u are a really great friend to me and u kind of fit the vibe of vernon in this fic but also the whole friendgroup.. idk it just fits okay

@satoruly is annoying (derogatory) and listen NOT because you're annoying because youre NOT! but i rlly enjoy the vibe of this fic and somehow i think it fits you...? its kinda fun but also kinda silly but also kinda sweet and i think thats a perfect mix for you

@sungbeam is potential. i dont even know why ?? maybe its the dynamic of the friendgroup and also yn and chenle that kind of reminds me of beam. there is a lot of care in the relationship they share and also a lot of identity crisis in chenle that reminds me of u beam NOT IN A BAD WAY THO its just that i see you as a very complex and interesting person and i think chenle in this has a lot of depth. also just fyi this fic is my top 5 ever and i adore beam a lot so

@decembermoonskz is i'm not angry anymore (well, sometimes i am) for the band vibes idk TT but also there's something about the time i wrote this fic in that reminds me of you. it's my comfort fic in a way and you izzy are my comfort person too

@flowerjun is you're not the only one !! this fic is somehow wholesome but also bittersweetingly sad and something about that is very kyuzu to me :,) also kyu i miss u and i love u. this fic has little sister vibes and thats you to me.

@injangism is all is on my side. a lot of love and longing and missing someone went into this fic and the way mc and jeno love is the type of love we have to each other - never ending, selfless and pure (in my opinion... idk if it shines through in the fic haha). ily sm xx

@kimsohn is sweet like candy :p cool but lovely vibes, very much maya. mc of this has your vibes in my opinion?? also this fic was very fun to write and i always have fun when i talk w u !!!:pp

@winterchimez is the storm's fury and now do NOT ask me why... it's literally league lore...? TT but again the vibes kinda fit and it's one of my only fantasy fics and i think this genre kind of radiates your vibes for some odd reason

@heemingyu is lee felix's guide to hating you. idk i wrote this fic a LONG time ago but i remember it as being very fun but also kind of personal to me ?? i don't really have much reasoning for this becuase sometimes i speak vibes only but if this fic had a trailer/moodboard/something it would be sana vibes for sure

@justalildumpling is just saying NO ARGUING idk for some reason j gives me yangyang vibes in this fic especially. very real, very fun, very self-aware, very silly and very adorably delusional (that fits you as a sunwoo stan). altho i will say you are cooler than yang AHAHA.

[littleroaes]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

thanks for the ask anon! ngl ive been scared of this one😭 I knew it would come one day but I can’t hold a conversation, even if there’s a gun to my head! but I’ll try😭 I’ll choose a few, but truly everyone ive talked to here, even just an exchange of a sentence or two, have been more than welcoming !

@from-izzy I don’t remember how I discovered Izzy, but I always tagged Izzy in the tag games! at some point I felt bad like “sorry I keep tagging you” because we’d hadn’t talked yet. but Izzy’s so funny, so sweet, so cool! I feel like I relate a lot to izzy lol. not for any specific incident or topic really, just when reading fics, I emphasize a lot with the sentiments of the settings and plots! Izzy truly brings me out of my shell, I feel really thankful for that ! idk, Izzy’s so supportive, what a lovely soul you are ~~~

@seolboba said I had a pretty blog ! how lovely ! mako said ocs weren’t as cool but I truly think your ocs are great! ( side note more oc appreciation! ). it’s really fun talking to mako! often get a dm of a post about Kevin or moonbae, then we just causally talk about it, but it’s still so fun! just recently mako shared the tbz pollination title collection lol. I will forever thank mako for imprinting tbz in beekeeper clothing in my head lol. also truly a hustler! posts like everyday and is quick to answer ! every boss’s dream employe lol

@sanaxo-o been some time but sana is really funny! ngl sana has me praying a bit, if met irl i think i would look a bit awkward and scared at times lol but truly sanas so sweet and lovely ! i still remember when sana wrote the Eric serenade fic! I had been dreaming about boy next door Eric and that song, though, I knew I would never get around to it myself. but when the hero was needed, sana came to us! the Eric fic was so fun and cute ! I loved it !

@cloverdaisies we haven’t talked that much to be fair, but I want to mention clo cause I think our interactions have been so wholesome ! I think it all kind of started with the reblog for hey chat! I love that fic so much, I’ll never stop talking about it lol. recently clo supported my teaser for my most recent fic, and it honestly made me so happy. clo said I was so nice, not only to clo self, but people all over! It feels relieving and lovely seeing someone say that!

[carmillas-girlfriend]

🐈‍⬛?

Hello and thank you so much for playing my silly little ask game! (I'm totally still playing and I'm happy to collect all the emojis and write a little essay for every single character.)

Oh happy day! Someone wants to know my Frenchie thoughts! I really like Frenchie a lot. I mean I could sit here and say, "I love this character!" but that applies to every single OFMD character, so it would get redundant.

I love the sneakiness behind the writing of Frenchie as a character: he's highly superstitious and believes in things like crystals in women's bodies, witches, fairies, and etc. but he's also incredibly smart and a very quick thinker. We know this because of Party Boat Pyramid Scheme! He was able to get *a lot* of money from those macaroni fops with the help of Oluwande and Abshir. And it's highly highly likely that the only way Stede was able to get the info about those macaroni idiots was with the help of Frenchie, Abshir, and Oluwande. Like, sure, Stede pulled off the fuckery but he was only able to do it with their groundwork.

We also know that he is willing to do difficult and scary things to protect his friends. This is first illustrated in beginning of s2 after Ed shoots Izzy and Frenchie, Jim, and Archie get Izzys body in a hidden place below decks and care for him, obviously very against Ed's wishes. Ed corners Frenchie against a (counter?) and physically intimidates him but Frenchie still won't let up that he's taking care of Izzy and tried to get Ed away from Izzy until the very very end.

And plus that scene where Frenchie goes to check on Ed during Kraken Era and Ed says, "Do you know there's a bird that never touches land?" And follows it with "We're going to sail and raid and raise hell forever." And Frenchie, under threat of death at this point, can do nothing but say "sounds like a plan" while both men are very clearly tortured and heartbroken. It genuinely makes me want to cry.

Okay lol haha, enough feelings and crying. Time to pivot.

For the LONGEST time I was a Frenchie aroace truther and I still think it would be fun to HC him as that but as it stands I am a Wee John/Frenchie shipper. I love Room People and they would be great together. HOWEVER, in an upcoming fic I'm planning to write - Frenchie and Roach get married actually. So we can have some Frenchie/Roach as a treat for all of us. I KNOW that Ouizzy is a popular ship, and it's everyone's not just *right* but *God given duty* to ship Izzy Hands with who and whatever, but I'm such a FangIzzy girly [gn] that I just can't in good conscious ship Ouizzy. I'm so sorry Ouizzy guys!

Favorite Frenchie moment as captured on Twitter:

[blizzardsuplex]

You don't know what you've unleashed El <3 Sappiness in 100 words or less each under the cut!

In general: After being on the outside looking in with Tumblr for a long time, I finally joined somewhere around the midpoint this year. I was kind of active for a month before major events in both my family and long-standing hobbies made me disappear. The me from even a few months beforehand probably would have never come back…but I did, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. It’s just really fun to be on here, in a way I haven’t experienced for a while—so, if you're reading this, whether we actively talk or not? You’ve contributed to that. Thank you.

Drea @shes-a-voodoo-child: I knew you first as a brilliant writer, but little did I know that you were also a gracious member of fandom/Tumblr, even to someone like me who blundered into a cold call (thank you for not immediately blocking my empty blog, haha!) Nowadays, though, I know you first and foremost as someone I’m glad to call my friend—even if I must admit I still look up to you with stars in my eyes. I only wish I had more interesting things to talk about with you, because I really enjoy whenever we chat things like music or wrestling!

El @spaghettisaurusrex: Honestly, at first I thought you were too cool for me—you teach swordfighting, for God’s sake! But you’re also an incredibly chill, incredibly nice person, who I’m always glad to see in my notifs on Tumblr or Discord. And, of course, thank you so, so much for writing and talking the fairy tale AU with me; it was a fraught journey on my part, but it also turned out one of my fave pieces I’ve ever done. We should write together again next time!

Izzy @limbreaper: So much to say, so little (self-imposed) space to say it. I never thought I’d have a friend like you, honestly, especially considering everything’s that happened. Forever grateful that you’re in my life (if only for now), and I hope you have as much fun talking to me as I do talking to you—and if we drift apart one day, though hopefully later rather than sooner…I won’t forget your kindness sending that message to a stranger. It really did mean a lot. Hopefully there’ll be authentic PH food options where you are some day.

Jackie @tekkers: I’ve admired your GIFs/ZSJ content from even before I was active on tumblr (yeah, I was a tag delver), so to find out that the person running the blog is a really cool person on top of everything? Chef’s fucking kiss. Thank you for listening to me for a couple of hours that one time and offering to finagle with Highspots TV for me. Also, you have great taste in music! We should start swapping recs again (though I don’t know if I’ll ever give you something that I loved as much as Emotionalism!)

K @onlyposersfallinlove: We don’t talk as much as we might be able to, but I hope you know that I’m thinking of you and hoping for you always. Whether your goals be in the spheres of fandom or private life, you deserve to achieve them, because you have the right to be happy. May whenever you read this be wonderful—at least just that day.

Kerri @sublightsleeper: You’re a thief in the night, except you both bring the day when you pop up and also are not a thief in the slightest (unless you want to be, because thief classes are cool). Either way: you’re a very nice, creative person and talented writer, and I always smile when you take the time to say hello!

Pastel @zsjbrightensday: It takes a lot of bravery to post a creative work to any sort of public—and now you’ve done it twice, with even more on the way! I’m really, really glad that you feel safe enough to do so, and I am excited for whatever is next in your WIP list! Also, you’re just a very nice person and I always am happy to get asks from you.

Poke @theaerialassassin: I hope you liked your present! Joking self-aggrandizing aside, you are a great friend and a great person to exchange ideas with and be around. I hope that school and life treats you well, and that you know that, whenever or wherever doubts may creep in, you know you have people to turn to (including both those around you physically and the people in your phone, if you’re so inclined). You’re there for us, too, after all.

Rosa @rosabellebelieve: As I’ve told you recently, I’m so very glad you were active in the notes of Drea’s posts and were receptive to the virtual post-its I left on your desk, haha! You’re wonderful to talk to, and though I wish once more when DMing you that I had more interesting things to say because I just enjoy when we converse, I know that whenever we do it’s a great time. Thank you for being my friend!

Syb @fang-revives: How does your garden grow?—well, it’s almost winter, as you said. But I’m always glad to see your gardening pics cross my dash! I hope that the last of this year’s tomatoes were good, and that when the world wakes up in a few months for spring your plants will be the most verdant verdure this side of the US-Canadian border. Also KENTA is cool I guess (I kid; he definitely is. Have I sent you the KENTA/Marufuji hour long match my friend compressed to sub-8 MB?)

Vera @scissormedaddyass: On top of being super duper cool, you’re a very level-headed person and I deeply appreciate that. You’re also a great writer and just…so fun to talk to/participate in fandom with (let’s go sailing the internet’s seven seas, haha). Very glad I met you. I hope your walks remain pleasant and that the yar-harr fandom you’re a part of isn’t too sad about what happened. ;)