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#thanks for the question dude! hope i answered it somewhat i think i got a little sidetracked
princekirijo · 8 months
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Does Yuna have the same dumbass tendencies that Mitsuru, Yukari, and Riku have? Or is she 100% unapologetically smart all of the time?
Hmm I think that while out of the four of them she is easily the most intelligent of them all, she definitely has her moments. She's got the most common sense for sure (despite being 14 this kid has her head screwed on way more than the rest 💀)
She knows how to goof around with Riku and when they were younger they would cause a lot of trouble together. Although Yuna was way less likely to get caught than her brother lmao. I think in general she's the type of kid who consistently does really well in class (maybe not top every time but she's up there) but is somewhat popular with her classmates because of how polite she is. At the same time she doesn't have that many friends, more like a close knit group of herself and maybe two others.
She is pretty awkward around strangers though and she has a pretty bad habit of saying like the wrong thing at the wrong time if that makes sense. She can be very blunt too.
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theloveinc · 1 year
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any hobie and/or miguel icks? 😟
whoever sent this: thank you + i ADORE you. i hope you don't mind i'm switching up the formatting/style a it in comparison to my older icks... shorter list, more detailed <3
(warning: some fem terms used at the end, such as “mama!”)
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Miguel O'Hara
- This guy... has some long ass toenails. Type of toenails that poke you at night in bed, and tear holes in his socks.
It's maybe somewhat related to the claw thing he's got going on? Has a lot stronger and faster-growing nails than the average person... but the real problem here is that he's TERRIBLE about clipping them. Claims it doesn't bother him even remotely and that you're the one overreacting when you ask him to... but hardly anything gets through to him about it. You probably even offer to do it for him one day, thinking the offer of a foot massage would sway his thinking and that it'd actually work... but he fought you on that just as easy...!!!
...which is how you came to the conclusion that you have a man who'll even argue w/ you over toenails. Petty boy.
- Miguel is also tired 24/7. AND yeah, it's pretty hard to be un-sympathetic towards that, but he's tired in the... I'm-gonna-prioritize-this-one-last-email-over-saying-goodnight-to-you way. Which gets real irritating when you're asking him to help you out w/ anything, like cleaning up or answering a question or JUST HAVING A DAMN CONVERSATION W/ YOU and he's using "I'm tired" as an excuse when his response is shitty or distracted.
Like one of those stupid guys whose always squinting at their damn iPad when you ask what he wants for dinner... which is ironic given that he'll get snippy at you for not giving him your full, entire attention whenever he wants it. Type of man to start picking imaginary lint off your head when you're simply trying to finish up a text before engaging him so that you aren't distracted.
- Odd about Lyla. Not that he loves her or anything, but she'll like pop up to give him updates about whatever even if you're MID-MAKEOUT session and he won't change that setting. Pulling away from your lips all pouty and squinty only to glare at his watch for thirty seconds before trying to go right back into kissing you.
No. No sir.
(Lyla will also always say something to or-but-usually-and about you, which... Okay, she's an AI and doesn't Get It... but it's still weird because it feels like someone you don't know just walked into the room.)
- Picks his nose when he's too busy to find a tissue, and forgets to sanitize his hands after. Denies this when you tell him.. but you've witnessed this multiple times (he's weirdly kind of whiney for a dude and lazy for a workaholic LOL).
Hobie Brown
- Lovely boyfriend because he doesn't give a crap about your appearance or the idea of needing to "look nice" for a man... but also stupid, nuisance boyfriend because this means he doesn't give one hoot if you try to get all gussied up for him. Nags you about wasting time getting ready because he doesn't need you to do all that instead of just saying "THANK YOU, YOU LOOK NICE." Even probably complains about you feeding into gender stereotypes or w/e when you do something like shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows😭
You try to talk to him about this, ask if he even cares that you tried to look nice, and he skirts around admitting it because he has an argument for everything. "'oughta know I think you're pretty either way"-ass when you just spent an hour trying to look all good for him.
- Tries to share the most obscure music with you... which is like, sweet in concept, but weird when it actually happens since it's never like a generic love song but an eleven minute underground jam session.
Which isn't to say he has bad taste in music, usually it's fine if not fantastic... but you try to tell him you don't want to listen to some dude's first draft of himself banging on a drum set for a full album and he's like: "tsk."
HOBIE. TSK??? FUCKING TSK????????? WHAT ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE????????
(He'll also use his to get out of listening to your music. Claiming his "inconsistency" is why he liked your playlist yesterday but not today. Stop!!!)
- And you know I gotta say it, he's a punk, after all: absolutely refuses to clean his favorite leather jacket, and it smells RANK. He's genuinely sentimental about it, though... and if you even try to bring up cleaning it somehow (even if very gently), he's acting like you betrayed him. Goes through the five stages of grief over you asking him not to wear it on one of your dates, and teases you by TALKING to it:
"Mumma didn't mean that, jackie. She just doesn't understand our lifestyle, does she?" while giving you a (lighthearted) stink eye.
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bronx-bomber87 · 2 months
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Hello amazing fandom :) I have been itching for this ep since the moment D sent me the ep description for it. I'm glad they didn't spoil much of this ep at all. I have a lot of feelings for this one so might be so mini LOL Off we go.
6x05 The Vow
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Oh my lord starting out hot with a romantic dinner and a kiss. Also want to talk about they both light up when they see each other. Like they're still in that honeymoon phase somewhat. They’re both so happy to see each other I wanna die. haha Lucy of course has to question the gift. Saying gift giving is not his love language. Damn they cute. Tim saying he is trying to change things up. I’m squeeing and we’re like less than a minute in everyone.
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Damnit he’s so romantic with what the gift is. It’s her radio from last week. Oh my word. Lucy is in awe of this man standing before her. Oh my goodness we get a second kiss I’m squeeing so hard. *screams into a pillow* A thank you kiss no less. Loving how he has his hand wrapped around her arm. Pulling her in close for both misses. You know I should've known this ep was going to hurt with getting two kisses within the span of 3 minutes and a cute ass moment to boot.
Like in a video game where they let you stumble upon a bunch of ammo right before a massive fight scene. You know shit is about to go down with them supplying you like that. How I felt with getting cuteness and two kisses right away. I am so excited Tamara has appeared. Wouldn’t be the return of her if she didn’t cock block them. Tim shaking his head too. Classic. Lucy telling her it’s ok. Also LOVING that they have a pre-planned date night. Be still my heart.
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Tim gets his cryptic ass phone call and immediately takes off. Lucy looks crushed for a couple reasons. First that he can’t stay. She was clearly looking forward to a night with her man all day. Second the fact he's so short with her. Breaking my heart 'Just wait.' Her Tim radar is going OFFFF Lucy looks SHOOK with his hasty departure. Her heart just walked out the door and it shows.
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Oh my word I knew It would be from his military past. The blind spot for the most part we have with his character. I was hoping it would be. The Tim fan girl in me is psyched af. I was thinking who is this Ray and why is Tim so spooked? Then we find out this dude killed their friends and there’s a promise.... Uhhhh the promise is to kill him? Uh Timothy, my love you are a cop….
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Oh Lucy is anxious af without him. Ugh she knows something is wrong immediately. Knows this man too damn well. Side tangent about to start. I know some people complained how long it took for them to get together blah blah. BUT I wasn’t. These moments right here are exactly why.
The fact that the very second he took that call she knew deep in her gut something was wrong with him. That is not a connection you get with someone overnight. That is years worth of working together, leaning on each other, learning about one another and seeing each other through a lot of things together. That connection and instinct on someone is built over time.
The beautiful recipe they have now wasn’t ready till we got close to it in s4 and even then they still had some tweaking to do before we reached S5. That being said I love her missing him. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. Also her Tim radar is going bonkers right now. She looks so sick to her stomach when she hangs up.
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Tim seeing Lucy’s call going off and not being able to answer. It's clearly killing him. We see him take a beat and a deep breath. Clearly doesn’t want to be here rather be there with her. Last thing he wanted was his date night interrupted. Also she is his ‘go to’ for pretty much everything. You know its actively tearing him up to not answer her.
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Oh my he was called the 'Reaper'? Holy hell why is that so attractive? Everything with Tim usually is. But hot damn that being his nickname in the service? I am fanning myself. Idk if that's wrong but I am haha But it does give us insight to who he was in the service tbh. You don't get called 'The Reaper.' without good reason.... Why Greer thinks Tim is going soft on him.
I do love Tim reinforcing the law also very attractive oh my goodness. You tell ‘em love. I don’t love this guy guilting Tim into keeping this pact. He’s SOOOOO loyal he’s gonna keep to it. Even at his own detriment. The man shoulders SO MUCH he already doesn't need to. Ugh Tim saying they’ve built lives. Yes you have. With Lucy. The love of your life you walked away from tonight to be here right now. After this chat I knew this ep was going to hurt so good. I could feel it.
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The jokes in the car are cute was hoping he’d ask Tim about Lucy. Sadly we didn't' get this. This whole situation makes me nervous af. God Tim looks extra fine in this episode street clothes on him are a wonder. A delicious one.
My god this list of crimes this guy has done sweet lord. Stole money. Called in an air strike on his own men when they came for him holy shit …Wasn't enough to bury in a shoe box.....fuck they both lied to get Ray’s wife and kid death benefits and if they bring him in it’s a problem.
Crap this is so bad Tim... Saying they’ll get fired from their current jobs and be dishonorably discharged from the service. I’m nervous…this isn’t a good situation. Also not surprised in the least he broke the rules to take care of someone. That empathy of his ran deep before it got buried by his Isabel trauma later on.
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First off let me say Eric KILLED ME in this scene. I was tearing up at how tore up he is about all of this. Tim wanting to take the fall.... Damnit Timothy you have a life too. Don't fall on your sword my god imma cry. Tim’s integrity is one of his sexiest traits IMO. I too have a deep sense of integrity drives everyone I work with insane. He’s in tears saying he would arrest him. Oh my word. I'm crying again. Eric killing me softly holy hell. I'm so mad at Greer for putting that on him. I had a bad feeling about Greer the minute he guilted Tim into this side OP.
How dare you put that on my Tim. He already has so much on his soul. A chunk of it not even his fault. The man is a deeper empath than he gets credit for. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him and shoulders things he doesn't need to. I'm learning in therapy I do the same thing. My therapist told me one thing to be empathetic. It's another to feel responsible for other's feelings or the outcome of actions I've taken and how it affects others. I feel like Tim is the same way. He's such an empath he's taken that responsibility to the extreme and is carrying things he doesn't need to be.
I wanna hug him oh my god. His sigh when Greer left. My heart. I'm sure part of the reason he's hiding this from Lucy is the shame he feels. This man (Ray) stole half a million from the government then bombed his own people on his watch. Tim breaks the rules to make sure his widow and child are taken care of and its bites him in this ass. There is a reason he was/is so damn rigid as a cop. 'Rules matter boot.' His PTSD in a line. Anytime he has let his guard down and skirted the rules people have been injured (Mitch) or in this case killed. Ugh. My poor boy. The hitch in his breath like he couldn't breath that entire convo. I'm hurting so much for him in this episode.
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Poor Lucy kept it together at work but lost it when he finally gets home. That look of hope when he walks through the door then instant anger. ‘Telling me you’re alive is not optional.’ Ugh she’s not wrong....I can only imagine what her anxiety was doing to her until he walked through that door. It's shown in her lines above. Her imagining him bleeding out somewhere.
She is not wrong it wasn't ok he didn't even tell her he was alive. I get why he didn't but he should've. Lucy straight confronting him. Asking him what the actual hell is going on with him? No one knows you better than her. You can't hide what you're going through. Tim of course wants to protect her from being fired and refuses to tell her what he's torn up about. Only alluding to it's serious enough if she knows she will be jeopardizing her standing at work.
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Her saying 'Then what are you doing here?' God damn Lucy... telling it like it is. Holy hell. Poor Tim is so taken aback by her response. He breaks my heart when he says 'I came to see you.' Lucy has become his safe place. His comfort zone. So by default he came here to seek that comfort. She is home now and he came home. But she can’t comfort you when she doesn’t know what to comfort you for. This scene hurts to watch. Because he is DYING for her compassion, her warmth and just her. He is denied access because she is setting a boundary with this as she should. Tim needs to share the load with her. To tell her the truth. She is willing to risk her standing for him.
My god if she actually knew she would be kicking herself for how much he needs her right now. But she doesn't know so she sends him away. The tears in both their eyes His 'Understood'. Man is about to cry in front of her. I’m dying. Someone revive me. I’m dead and not in a good way. I’m crying. Eric and Melissa out here crushing it though. Gah Tim would rather blow them up and protect her than not ugh Timmmmmmm I get both sides of this. Tim thinks since this is pre-Lucy and could get her in trouble he needs to bear this alone. When she is begging him to let her share the load of this. Sending him away is her setting a boundary. That he needs to think not just of her but of them. To tackle things together. To stop protecting her.
They’re both hurting in this scene. But the issue at hand still is them only thinking in terms of 'Me' not us. Even though when one of them does this it’s to protect the other. That’s fine and dandy but when it come to them as a whole it’s a problem. Shit hits the fan they eject away thinking that’s the best course of action. It’s been an issue for some time this lack of communication. This is just bringing it to a head. They don’t think how can we tackle this together? They think how can I protect my person from this? Or protect their feelings by lying.
Also think that radio being in this scene was there for a reason. That radio is the representation of Lucy not telling Tim exactly how not ok she was in 6x04. She was so willing to pretend she was ok. And instead of leaning on him. Voicing that so they could tackle it together. She ran into the line of fire recklessly instead to prove herself worthy again. Almost killing herself in the process. Because she was in her head instead of communicating to Tim. These two gonna be death of me...
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Wanna hug Lucy. She is desperate for any kind of help. So she reaches out to Nolan. John per usual is completely useless for her in a crisis. Man is as useful as using a fork to eat soup. These are the moments I miss Jackson for Lucy so much. He would’ve had a much better an answer. Then just ‘you're shit out of luck.’ That’s not enough damnit.
Nolan basically saying. "What are you gonna do?' with a shrug. If I could clock you John I would. I don't normally watch the preview for the next ep till I'm done assembling my thoughts. But with this one I couldn't wait. This is why Lucy goes to Angela next week about Tim instead. She needed a real grown up to help her with Tim.
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We rejoin Lucy looking at her phone. Trying so damn hard not to reach out. To be the trusting girlfriend for her man. I know we're in a bad spot but Lucy calling Tim 'her man' gah yes please more of that. I am grateful for Tamara. She needs her right now since Nolan is useless af. Lucy is trying so very hard not to spiral out atm. She confronted him and it didn't go well. Lucy is feeling at a loss right now and rightfully so. I adore Tamara for making her laugh in this moment so very much.
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The lesson's Tamara has learned is too damn cute. I loved it so much. Lucy needed this moment of levity and her pseudo daughter crushed it. We pan back to Tim also starting at his phone wanting to call. Ugh Tim what are you gonna do babe? You can’t kill him. Can’t turn him in. I feel sick lol Also once again amazing song to close it out. I watch the ep with my gaming headphones on. One because I love hearing Eric’s voice straight in my ears not gonna lie. Don’t judge me ha Also catch onto music more so with them on.
But back to the matter at hand…Now do I think they’re gonna break up cause he’s gonna protect her? I don’t. Their angst since they got together has always been productive. Is it gonna hurt like a son of a bitch before we get there? Yes.
My hope is this drives them to depend on one another more and not just straight protect each other at the detriment of the one they're ironically trying to protect. Better communication which has been an issue for some time. To learn to face these challenges not only head on but hand in hand while they do so. These are the types of things they need to learn before their relationship gets any more serious than it is tbh. So while this hurts like a lot it'll be good for them in the long run.
This season has EXCEEDED my expectations ten fold. If you aren't happy with this season idk what will make you happy tbh. I said the same thing about S5 as well. I cannot wait for next week. Which I am hoping is full of worried/feral Lucy and their reunion and growth from it. Phew feel free to comment any theories or thoughts on my first take thoughts I love them so. Also thank you everyone supporting these mini reviews you're amazing and makes the effort always worth it.
Side notes -non Chenford
Ok Aaron seeing his therapist at the bar excited for him I knew low key there would be something there.
Bailey and John seem so cold I know they’re on duty but even grey held his wife’s hand at the hospital…
Of course Smitty takes his break at a therapist office
Lucy’s joke about Celina omg LOL I'm impressed with such a solid joke when she was low key worried the love of her life was dying in a ditch somewhere...
Also clearly his therapist is a lying liar who lies but how can she not be? She's his therapist and WORK one at that. Be interesting to see how this unfolds.
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butmakeitgayblog · 1 year
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So I'm relatively new to the fandom, and during my stay in this rabbit hole, that is, Clexa, I've got a few questions that I'm hoping you could answer :)
Why is everyone here pro-Lexa? Like don't get me wrong I absolutely love Lexa as a character and Alycia is a queen, but why all the hate towards some of the other characters, like Bellamy? I've never watched The 100 the whole way through (literally exited outta the show the second Lexa died), even then, it's been years since I watched it. Did I miss something while I was binge-watching, or was my teenage brain at the time just too immature to realize he was a total jackass..? Also, it's not just Bellamy, I've also seen hate for Bob, the actor who plays him. Which brings me to another question: does this fandom not like Eliza? I always see so much support when Alycia has an upcoming project or is posting Instagram updates but nothing for Eliza? Again, no judgment for the Alycia love because I completely understand why everyone here is head over heels in love with that girl but I just wanted to know, has Eliza ever done anything wrong? Or have I just conveniently only stumbled upon Alycia stans on this app?
Anyway, a totally unrelated note but since I'm here… may I just say ma'am, your writing is the bomb diggity. Like the perfect blend of humor, sexiness, angst, and fluff, THE GODDAMN FLUFF. Genius, you're a genius, like a mad scientist of Clexa fanfic. Hope you keep doing what you're doing, my friend. Take your time though, and don't listen to those ignorant anons that are crawling around yelling "wHy ArE yOu TaKiNg So LoNg To UpDaTe?" Thank you for writing for the Clexa fandom! ❤️
First I wanna say thank you for the sweet words and reading, that means so much to me 🥹💕 not to be a nerd but I screenshot that for one of my worse imposter syndrome days lol
Long post so you can read under the cut. Long time clexas you can just skip if you want because honestly I got annoyed all over again just typing it and you know it all already 🥴
Now right off the top, you don't have to hate Bellamy if you don't want to. It's not like that's a prereq for being a clexa, so if you like him, like him and don't worry about what anyone says. He's a fictional character so anyone who gets intense over someone liking him I think needs to take a walk.
But the reason why a lot of Clexas, myself included, hate him is somewhat of a two part answer. The main reason being is that his character is trash 😅. I mean I'm not gonna dissect every little bit of canon but the main points for me at least, since I can't speak for anyone else, are that he was constantly fucking up literally everything. He gets to earth, proclaims "tHeRe aRe nO RuLeS" and then,,, immediately declares himself the leader and starts forcing people to follow what he says. He literally almost let Clarke fall into a pit of spikes, tried to handcuff her and keep her hostage "for her own good", he spearheaded the whole thing with taking off their wristbands, HE BACKED PIKE, participated in the massacre of a peaceful army sent to protect skaikru, he constantly shamed and blamed Clarke for everything that ever went wrong even when a lot of that stuff was either the best solution in a bad situation OR was an indirect fallout from something fucked up that skaikru had done. The sweaty little fucker was always trying to control/manipulate Clarke and skaikru and his own damn sister despite the fact that everything he ever planned himself turning out to be: A Terrible Idea. Basically the dude sucked but was held up on spindles of glorification as being this heroic uwu soft boy that wasn't actually supported by any one damn thing in canon when you actually look at it objectively. And I'm sure I'm even forgetting stuff. The dude just sucked.
Agian, that's my own two cents.
The other reason being, it's rollover from having to deal with blarks. Their constant harassment and shoving their fanon, non-existent ship down everyone's throat, while being entitled little brats throwing tantrums about them not happening at every turn has led from what probably would've been just a mild distaste for a character for most into loathing even the name. Understand I'm not saying the word harassment lightly. They were awful for years. Death threats and homophobia, spamming inboxes with hateful messages and sending awful pictures/memes etc. One even sent EJT a dick pic with Blark written on their penis. They sent memes non-stop about Lexa dying when people were still reeling from it. I'm not saying all Blarks are bad because they're not, but there was enough harassment and viciousness from a large enough and loud enough faction that at a certain point it becomes a blanket feeling of animosity toward the entire ship and everything that follows it.
As for disliking EJT. In reality, she used to be the fandom favorite. I mean she was our girl because she used to champion us and was hilarious about it. Go look up old cons and interviews with her. She was funny and great. Once upon a time E was our biggest cheerleader and dealt with A Lot of abuse and harassment from The Other fandom for it. I'm talking body shaming, slut shaming, comments about her intelligence, sexual harassment and trolling her about her boyfriends and very descriptive messages about how they wanted her to harm herself. The list goes on. And no one, especially not Bob who was the golden boy for The Other fandom, ever said a word in her defense. Never told his fans to stop or that he condemned it. Ever. Not once. That never sat well with clexas, but you can't control what other people do.
We had her back anyway. So, it was whatever. Gross, but whatever.
And then she married Bob. Which, and Blarks cannot seem to wrap their heads around this fact, literally no cared about. She could've just married him and kept being the same person and no one would've cared. In fact, the way this fandom loved her, at first everyone was like hmmm weird and sudden but good for her I guess! Be happy!
But then Bob's ex came forward with very serious allegations about her past relationship with him. She released a statement that you can easily find online and from that it painted a very dark picture of things that involved both him and EJT. As I'm someone who believes victims, I have no reason not to believe her, and since the very bizarre (non) rebuttal that EJT posted in reply made zero sense, that was that. It changed the lens of how a lot of people started looking at her.
Which leads me to the charities.
Hear a collective Clexa sigh.
They're a saga in themselves, but to sum it up as short as possible, EJT had been a part of a children's organization for YEARS that she herself helped set up. Clexas raised a lot of money for this charity through fundraising and selling fanart and we really cared about it. And literally within months of them being married, he became involved in it, and then shortly thereafter, magically they both had to "step away from it" for dubiously explained reasons. (Which, if you read his ex's statement, logical deduction of what probably actually happened will make more sense than what they claimed, and not in a good way.) Sensibly, they started recieving backlash from supporters because, again a lot of people had been helping this charity for years and all of a sudden she was just gone from it and all the projects were halted. I'm not blaming solely her for anything but to just cut and run like she did was sus to say the least.
So to steer away from that shitshow, they started another charity. With a bunch of right-wing MAGA nuts. Yeah. They weren't open or transparent about anything, no records of where any of the money was going, iirc no real legitimate charity registration/tax documentation that anyone could find (and in the US that's all public info sooooooo). It was a total clusterfuck that people started calling them out on from the start. At first they tried to ignore it and just keep collecting money by doing these ridiculous cameos as cash grabs, but just like the first charity, after a while (and a lot of initially unaccounted for money being raised) the poor little darlings just had to "step away for mental health reasons."
Which I would accept and support wholeheartedly because mental health is extremely serious... except funnily, they didn't stop doing the cameos. They kept doing those and charging their fans money to listen to them blather on about made up ~behind the scenes info~ about Blark stuff and it being super secretly canon but for a million reasons that they don't know and can't name, stopped it from happening. Claims of love scenes and kisses that have never been backed up by evidence (like a script) or corroborated by a single person involved in the show. But it's totally true guys, just trust them bro. So yeah, they've kept doing all that. Just... not giving the money they're charging for the cameos to their "charity."
So that's the meat of it, I might be forgetting things and smudging some finer details because it's been a long while ago, but I think you can get the gist. People don't like Bob because he was an ass to fans and EJT herself before them even getting married. He's said ableist things and quoted racists trying to sound smart and never once apologized for anything. He's been accused of abuse in his personal life and has never addressed it, only made his wife write a terrible fanfiction-esque response to appease his ardent followers. And frankly, she pissed off her fans. Once she married him, she completely flipped her personality from a funny charity doing, body positivity leading, cheerleading about "Clexa are soulmates" and "Lexa is the love of Clarke's life" girl, to doing personal cash grabs constantly while spewing all this made up Blark garbage that directly contradicts things they've both said in the past to please her faithful paying cameo fans (read his fans).
It's all left a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouth, to say the least.
And ya best believe if Alycia does some crazy shit, I'll turn on her too 🤷‍♀️ but honestly I'm not too worried about that cuz the girl is a cryptid who you literally can't pay to go to cons or do cameos
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tblsomedoodles · 9 months
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Can I ask or advice? I'm looking into possibly getting a turtle myself, but I've never had one before and have no clue how to even begin to prepare or where to start. My only experience with reptiles before was a leapard gecko I rescued pictured below
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Since I know you have turtles I was wondering if you had any advice on turtle care or where to start. I'm thinking either a box, slider, or a spotted turtle
Oh look at them! They're pretty! : )
And yeah, i don't mind!
also disclaimer i am not an expert. I only recently took over the care of George 7 or 8 months ago and i am simply doing my best lol.
Here's a little picture of my George as a bonus : )
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I would definitely do your research, particularly look into what type you can adopt. I know some states/countries can be pretty strict about the sale of turtles (there was a big thing in the 40's-60's with red eared sliders that is, at least in part, why sales can be restricted (as far as i'm aware.))
not only that, but each species will have a different set of needs. Some, like a box turtle, would be alright in something similar to what you have your gecko buddy in, while others, like a slider or like my dude, need something more akin to fish tank. some will need somethign in between.
And be prepared to have them for a long time. My family's had George for about 23-24 years (i was young when we got him so i'm not entirely sure lol). He is the oldest animal in my household, with the next oldest being my cat who's only 10. (and maybe my rabbit, but we don't have a clue how old he is lol) As long as you take good care of them, they are a long term buddy : )
I'm not sure what other advice i can offer. Maybe see about talking to some workers at your local pet store if that's an option and you feel comfortable doing so (if you know an exotic pet store, or reptile specific store, then even better.)
I hope this helps somewhat. if you have any more questions, feel free to ask! (if you're more comfortable asking via DMs, feel free. though be warned, i am incredibly more awkward dming than answering asks lol. social anxiety is weird.)
Thank You!
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hockeylovee12 · 1 year
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Thanks Man-Luke Hughes
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A/N: this was inspired by a few posts I saw on tumblr and they words just kinda came out. This is unedited and I did write it in one sitting so I apologize for any errors and hopefully it makes sense. I think it’s kinda funny and I hope others do as well! This is the first story I am posting on Tumblr so please be kind I am a little on the younger side so my writing skills are not fantastic I do it simply because I enjoy it I will take criticism if you have some just please be respectful about it and my requests box is always open if you have any requests or questions please feel free to ask! Hope you enjoy!! Also all images are from Pinterest
Summary: After a 5-4 home win against the Seattle Krakens 20 year old New Jersey Devils defenseman Luke Hughes decides to go to a bar to celebrate and meets a girl who he decides to bring back to his apartment only to find his big brother and roommate is there.
November 7th 2023
“My apartments on the 4th floor” Luke Hughes says as he and the girl whose name is Chloe step into the elevator of Lukes apartment complex
The pair met roughly two hours ago at a local bar called Charlie’s and the two hit it off after a couple of drinks the pair decided to head back to Lukes apartment to get to know each other a little better.
As the two exit the elevator and walk down the hall to Lukes apartment he fumbles taking out his keys and unlocking the door.
Chloe smiles at this and finally Luke unlocks the door and the two step inside.
“Hey Lukey” a voice says from the living room
“Who’s that?” Chloe asks Luke rolls his eyes before responding
“It’s just my brother he’s my roommate don’t mind him though my rooms right through here”
The pair walk towards the living room and try to make their exit towards Lukes bedroom but before the can Lukes brother spots them
“Who’s this?” Jack asks
“Hi I’m Chloe”
“Nice to meet you I’m Jack”
“Glad you guys got to meet now if you’ll excuse us” Luke says trying to get to his room with Chloe before anymore questioning are asked to which he is unsuccessful
“Where did you guys meet?” Jack asks
“We meet at Charlie’s” Luke says vaguely and attempts to make another escape
“Where are you guys going?” Jack questions
“Uh to my room” Luke answers
“What are you guys gonna do?” Jack asks clearly a bit clueless at the fact that his younger brother could actually have game
Chloe let’s out a small laugh finding the situation a little bit comical however Luke on the other hand finds it incredibly embarrassing.
“We’re just gonna hang out” Luke says not about to admit to his somewhat protective brother that he brought a girl home to sleep with her
“Well you guys are free to hang out out here I was just gonna put a movie on. Chloe do you have a favorite type of movie?” Jack asks inviting the two to take a seat on the couch opposite of him
Chloe looks at Luke and no longer sees the guy she thought was super attractive and ready to jump his bones guy but instead sees a guy who would make a good friend.
Chloe is the first to sit down
“I like comedies” Chloe says
Luke is mentally kicking himself over and over again
“Come on Luke let’s watch a movie” Chloe encourages Luke sighs and takes a seat next to her and the three look for a comedy movie to watch.
After about 10 minutes of multiple no’s they finally settle on Murder Mystery and hit play.
Jack gets up to make popcorn and the three spend the next couple of hours watching comedy movies, eating popcorn and laughing.
Around 2 am Chloe announces that it is time for her to get home. Luke offers to walk her out as she calls a cab.
Once the apartment door is shut leaving Chloe and Luke in the hallway Luke begins to apologize
“Don’t that was actually really fun Luke you’re a great friend and we should definitely do this again sometime!” Chloe says then gives Luke a kiss on the cheek and walks herself to the elevator.
A frustrated Luke walks back into the apartment and sees Jack cleaning up
“Dude!” Luke says
“She seems like a really nice girl and funny too” Jack says
“She just friend zoned me and I don’t blame her because we came back her to sleep together not watch Adam Sandler for 3 hours” Luke half yells at his brother. Jacks face drops now realizing his intend
“Ohhh shit I’m sorry I I didn’t know I thought you just made a friend” Jack says
“How many girls do you meet at bars and then bring home to watch movies with!” Luke says
“Well-” Jack starts to say
“None!” Luke answers for him
“Dude you totally cockblocked me” Luke says
“I’m sorry but in my defense you never bring girls home!” Jack says
“Ya I never brought girls home to mom and dads house because this exact thing would probably happen only it would be even more embarrassing if that’s possible because we would be watching movies with mom and dad” Luke says
“God you are so annoying!” Luke says
“Hey I’m sorry I’ll try not to do it again but at the same time dude it’s been a while since we lived together so clearly a lots changed I mean now you’re going to bars and bringing girls home which by the way your not old enough to drink?”
“I have a fake id” Luke says
“Really when did you get a fake ID?” Jack asks genuinely surprised even though it wasn’t that long ago he had to use a fake.
“You’re changing the subject” Luke criticizes
“Ok ok I’m sorry you can just text me the next time you’re bringing someone over and I’ll stay out of it okay”
“Yes thank you”
55 notes · View notes
imagine--if · 2 years
Note
Could you write something where the reader is a chronically online watcher of the Riddler stream and falls in love with him despite the fact that he's a literal terrorist and they have a really sweet online chat with each other and decide to meet irl? Thank you!!
A/N: So I’ve got a few requests for dad!riddler hcs.. u guys up for that? 😅💚 side note: by the end of this month I’ll be able to catch up on a lot more matchups/earlier requests/To My Hope since I’ll have a laptop by then 🙃 thanks for all the requests and ur patienceeee
Pairing: Dano!Riddler x reader (The Batman 2022)
Warnings: Fluff, stalker stuff (reader’s a bit unhinged 🥰 )
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•❥ Gotham is a near-hopeless city for you, always dark and gloomy and selfish, full of corrupt people in power. So you most likely found The Riddler through his streams after trying to find advice on how to cope with it or something, and once you saw and heard the impact the mystery man is gonna make and his sinister way of describing the world, you were hooked.
•❥ You try commenting advice on stuff he mentions or asks for, and are borderline obsessed with everything he’s doing. Even though the dude’s a literal murderer, you think that the immoral people he’s targeting deserve it.
•❥ What you didn’t expect was for The Riddler to message you privately after him as Edward Nashton saw you drop a notebook or something with his iconic question mark symbol drawn on or as sticker as you rushed out the diner one evening…
•❥ He sent a riddle where the answer was loyalty when you first chatted, and you being you got it right, which cussed his reply to be: > Clever thing, aren’t you? There aren’t enough people like you in a cesspool such as this... >
•❥ Which led to you basically telling him your life story and answering how you ended up in Gotham in the first place, you’re flattered and kinda shook because The Riddler’s talking to you?!? He’s interested in you????
•❥ Little do you know that Edward Nashton has literally grown obsessed with who you are: so pure and pretty, but with the perfect attitude to life as you aren’t blind to the disgusting stuff of the city that makes it so unbearable.
•❥ With not a lot of time The Riddler sometimes let’s you preview the traps and locations he’ll be catching his victims - and even The Batman once - in. The ominous green sprayed messages on the walls, codes and the like. It’s fascinating and amazing to you, horrific to anyone else.
•❥ You usually speak to The Riddler through his special site, but you don’t quite realise that he’s hacked into the camera of your laptop and tracks the location of your phone 😏 he’s not so much a psycho stalker, more of an overprotective soft yandere who makes sure none of the scum get to you and you can see everything in the front seat while chaos erupts. You’re his new inspiration 💚 he’s even sneakily mentioned ‘A new hope’ in one of his lives, but never gives too much away, he’s careful.
•❥ Even though The Riddler trusts you to a pretty large extent by now, he’s still somewhat insecure that the idea that you have of him might be shattered by actually revealing his face and meeting up in person, but you assure him again and again that you could never think badly of him one bit, he’s your hero 😍
•❥ Edward loves that idea
•❥ You do eventually end up meeting though, just before he goes ahead with the final Batman plans for Gotham, and he’s really a lot like you expected… a little nerdy and blushy for someone who screams in a crazed rage and bashes peoples’ heads in, but looks can be extremely deceiving
•❥ You got your first kiss from a very bashful and overexciting Eddie Nashton that night, you could see the madness and overbearing love in his green eyes.
•❥ “I’ll clean up the city for you… my clever thing~”
•❥ Damn, I hope you’re ready for the relationship you just signed up for, cus now you’re The Riddler’s partner in love (and possibly crime) he’s gonna treat you in such a beautiful and crazily clingy way….
•❥ 😍😍
.・ Taglist: ・.
@sweetums0kitty @beel-mcburger @cml-san @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @r4iner @bimboanime @phoenixgurl030 @vaylordd @dangerouslittlefairy @katjourno @yoyoanaria @yaeyuuki @vinxlsketches @beenz-beenz @ghoulsgraveyard @birds-have-teeth @repostingmyfavs @r3ptiliaaa @for3v3rda1sy @glitterycheesecakegladiator @moonwritesblog @lilyevans1 @httpsunflowers @hxney-lemcn @confusedchildsstuff @callsigncrash @sugahbabieexo @bokksieu @skateb0red @wilburrrsworld @philiasoul @darthcringe @felicityofbakerstreet @bloodypantomime @deadlights-darling @tianotfound @mortem-muse @ireadandream @tinyryder @kpopgirlbtssvt @truecobblepot @jessicainhell
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grodyego · 5 months
Note
happy 25th dude!!! i have some OC questions for you. 1) what is the relationship like between rakesh and vega? 2) who is iggy's favorite and least favorite out of emma's friends? who's fish's favorite and least favorite? 3) how would nemo fare in our wexico universe?
THANK YOUUUUU !!! 🥳🎉✨✨✨ THESE ARE ALL REALLY GOOD OMG IM STOKED TO ANSWER THEM !!!
LOVE THIS QUESTION MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE ON THE LIST !!!!!! ive thought about their dynamic a lot. man without literally just copy and pasting a huge chunk from the. actual word document breaking down everyone in the trio's (IVE GOTTA GET A FUCKING NAME FOR THIS GROUP/STORY) relationships to each other: rakesh and vega are extremely close friends. arguably the closest friend the other has ever had. they were brought into T.A.R.G.I.T. at the same time (vega was 17, rakesh was 24) and to say both were not doing great is a severe understatement. they have fully seen the other genuinely at their worst, at rock fucking bottom, and as you can probably imagine that made for quite the rocky start ! initially rakesh was just kind thrown at vega under the guise of being a "lab assistant" to make treating him as a guinea pig less conspicuous (Unsuccessful) and neither of them were happy with that arrangement. over time though they got to get to know and understand each other better, and share in a lot of. ups and downs so to speak besides, and as a result they care so deeply for each other they basically view the other like a sibling ! they would never say as much out loud though, for their own reasons, but the care and affection shared between them is still quite open and obvious
oh another fantastic question. iggy's favorite i think surprisingly would be xavier. hes lacking in the rest of the group's whimsy and she too has a bit of that herself but i think she would actually find his somewhat long-suffering nature endearing because (as somebody who had to take custody of a teenager when she wasnt expecting to) i think she'd recognize that it comes from a pretty genuine place of like, worrying for everybody's safety, like that protective streak. She Would Get It. least favorite would be kevin. honestly nothing even that personal, its just that hes a guy named kevin. fish's favorite... maybe victoria ! we make jokes about her being kind of a dork and a loser woman but thats also kind of the reason fish came to take such a liking to iggy, among other things. somebody's gotta be weird in the mundane ways in this apocalypse anyhow. and besides victoria has very a very niche interest/aera of expertise and fish just loves hearing people talk about those sorts of things/collecting extremely second-hand eclectic trivia. least favorite. actually infinitely harder. might also be kevin. hes kind of an acquired taste even if he has his moments. its not an active dislike or anything though
IVE TRIED TO THINK OF THIS BEFORE ! he would honestly kind of be both better off and worse, depending. honestly in his own regular canon reality breaking and exposing him to horrible things he can't make much sense of is just another tuesday for him, but he would find himself way more distressed to be out of a job and without a way to get or store his frozen tv dinners. i think he would wander the vast landscapes of wexico aimlessly hoping at some point to encounter the world's lasting functioning computer-monitor combo, not even knowing what he would do if he did, just kind deciding he'll go from there, and then just kind of incidentally encounter other people/phenomena. on the plus side for him with complete societal collapse he would start to be a bit less afraid about exploring his gender and sexuality so at least he'd have that going for him
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delicrieux · 3 years
Text
☆ミ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 13: ...O-OH?
it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.
─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno
author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots
ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.
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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.
No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.
The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”
Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”
Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.
There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.
“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 
More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.
Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 
Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.
“Hey, dude!”
“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”
“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 
“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.
“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”
-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 
“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.
“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”
“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”
“Of course, baby.” You purr. 
There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...
“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.
“You know it!”
“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”
“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”
“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”
“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.
its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me
ikr she looks ready to join the monastery
each day we stray closer to gods light???
Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.
The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”
“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.
“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 
One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 
Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”
Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”
“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”
“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”
“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.
“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.
“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”
“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”
corpse stop acting weird challenge
literally omg lmao
he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!
^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi
“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”
“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 
Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.
“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.
“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”
You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.
With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.
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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 
The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.
worried about this dynamic 
its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz
Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.
“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”
“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.
“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.
“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”
You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.
“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”
You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”
“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”
“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”
“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.
“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.
“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 
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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.
You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.
Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.
Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.
“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”
People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.
“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.
flame him
corpse boutta be a corpse fr
beat his ass queen!!!!!
“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”
“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”
“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”
“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”
“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.
“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”
“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”
“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”
“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.
“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”
The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”
“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.
“It’s Y/n.”
“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 
There’s a pause full of tense silence. 
Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”
“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”
“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.
“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.
“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.
“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.
You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 
“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”
“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”
“No, wait-”
“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.
“Y/n, please-”
“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.
“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.
“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 
“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”
“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”
Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.
20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”
Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.
Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!
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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.
Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.
Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.
It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.
“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.
“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”
“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”
“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”
Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.
It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.
The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 
“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”
“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”
“Maybe Momo?”
“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”
You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.
“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”
“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”
“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 
“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.
Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.
now she notices
snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 
corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it
opening wattpad rn^
Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 
“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”
Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 
“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”
“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.
“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”
If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 
why is that kinda hot tho omg
didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do
y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 
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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.
“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.
“Hm?”
“Was talking to the roaches.”
“What are they saying?”
“That I should betray you.”
“...Better not.”
A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”
“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”
“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!
“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”
You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”
“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”
You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”
“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.
“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”
You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”
He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”
 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”
“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”
“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”
It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.
y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge
making fanart of this omg her face
its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!
^she cant, it lives there
“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”
“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”
“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.
Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”
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The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.
“Baby, you know what to do.”
The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”
“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”
“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”
“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.
“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”
“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.
“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”
You’re silent for a moment.
“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.
A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”
“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.
The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.
Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.
“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”
“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”
“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”
“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”
“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”
yeah he would be lmao
mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n
rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels
As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.
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TAGLIST IS CLOSED!
tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
4K notes · View notes
finelinevogue · 3 years
Note
Can we get some more brother!harry?
I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️
of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;
Natalia.
Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.
Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.
You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.
“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.
“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.
“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.
“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.
“But she’ll be there.”
“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”
“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.
“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”
“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.
“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.
You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;
“She just wants attention.”
The restaurant was very pretty.
It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.
“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.
“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.
“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”
You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.
“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.
“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.
“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.
“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.
“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.
“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.
“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.
“N-no I was just—”
“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.
“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.
“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.
“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.
“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.
“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.
“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.
Lunch went by slowly.
Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.
“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.
“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.
“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.
“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.
“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.
“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.
“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?
“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.
“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”
“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”
“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”
“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”
“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.
“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.
“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.
“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.
Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.
You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.
You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.
“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.
“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.
“Ye—”
“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.
“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.
“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.
“What has she said to you, because—”
“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.
“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.
“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.
“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.
“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.
“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”
“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.
“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.
“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”
With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.
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kingexpl0sionmurder · 3 years
Text
Body Electric - Kaminari Denki - Smut
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Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kaminari Denki/F!Reader Rating: 18+ (contains smut) Words: 5,491 Warnings: Sex work (Cam boy/girl), Quirkless AU, Aged-up Adult characters (someone is in grad school! wow!), mentions of masturbation (both male and female), mentions of casual ShinKami, established KiriBaku, Idk they are all just really sexually liberated and don’t care about watching each other cum. Is that voyeurism? I’m bad at tagging things. Title taken from a Lana Del Rey song. AN: Another BNHarem collab piece! The theme was sex work, and I have wanted to do a camboy Denki for a long time so here we go. This was really smutty in my head but Denki makes me soft and it turned out really cute in the end, I’m sorry? He’s such a dork I feel like any sexual encounter with him would just turn out like this in some way, idk.  Thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku​ and @sailorsero​ as usual for being supportive of me. Happy birthday to @lady-bakuhoe and @burnedbyshoto​ 🎂🎂 There is no one else I would rather be birthday triplets with!
Please check out the Collab Masterlist: HERE Look 👀 at My Masterlist: HERE Buy me a Kofi if you’re scared of clowns too: HERE
---
Sighing, you sat up on your elbows, squinting at the chat on the screen, willing your heart to stop pounding and your breath to even out. The donations were pouring in, the chat moving so fast you couldn’t even read it. “Alright, lovelies, I hope you enjoyed that. Be right back and we’ll chat a little bit, okay?”
Donations popped up, the chat slowing a little as the clients who only came to jerk off to you left, leaving those who considered themselves true fans. You stood and made your way to the bathroom to pee, rinsing your toy off in the sink and washing your hands. You went back to your room, pulling on a hoodie and settling in front of the screen again.
“Alright, I’m back! I have some time for a few questions and then I have to go for the night. Let me see what we got!” You scanned the chat, ignoring the normal inappropriate questions. Mindfucker:  Do you know who Chargebolt is? Cause I heard he watches your stream.
Your heart, which had finally slowed to a normal rhythm, picked up again. You most definitely knew who Chargebolt was. You gave him a good amount of money from your donations when you watched his cam shows yourself. “I do actually, he’s pretty popular on here, isn’t he?” You sat back a little, furrowing your brows. “How do you know he watches me?”
RedDaddy: He did a Q&A and mentioned your channel! Told everyone to check you out.
You recognized the names of the viewers and knew they were also regulars on Chargebolt’s streams as well, so you believed them. Chargebolt was gorgeous and funny, just your type. The knowledge that he was interested in you enough to watch you get off on camera was flattering. You hoped your blush wasn’t showing on your face. 
“I’m surprised he knows who I am!” You had missed the last Q&A he’d done, since it hadn’t been on his normal streaming day, and you’d been stuck at work late. Leaning forward again, you bit your lip, looking into the camera from under your lashes. “Can I tell you guys a secret? I watch him, too. Why do you think I never do shows on Thursdays? That’s Chargebolt day.” With a wink you sat back, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. Mindfucker: I knew it! I bet he’s watching right now. You smiled, shrugging. “I hope he enjoyed the show, then!” You tried to hold it together, suppressing the urge to burst into a fit of giggles at the thought, answering a few more silly questions from your regulars, before signing off for the night, promising to be back again the following week.
You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, leaning your head back and groaning. It was wild that the guy whose cam shows you watched on the regular, the one who had inspired you to start your own, who you thought of half the time when you were filming yourself getting off on camera for strangers, knew who you were and was one of your viewers. 
It brought you down a whole rabbit hole for a second, wondering if he got off on you getting off. Why else would he watch? Did he ever donate? You assumed he had a secondary account so you wouldn’t know it was him even if you tried to look at your past viewers, just like you had a secret account so you could watch him as well. 
Cracking your eyes open, you clicked to view the donation tallies for the evening. You’d made enough to pay the rent on your apartment for the month in just one night. Sometimes you wondered how you ever managed to survive before you started doing this. It was meant to be a temporary side job, but you’d been running this cam channel under the screen name Neko for over six months, and you had clawed your way out of debt in such a short time, it didn’t make sense for you to stop.
You viewed a few more visitor stats with interest, before logging off the computer and shutting the laptop. You had to get to sleep for your real job in the morning, so you figured it was time for bed, pushing thoughts of Chargebolt to the back of your mind for now.
It wasn’t until later when you were lying down to sleep, that you thought of him again. Your eyes closed as you ran through a scenario in your head, wondering if he would mention you on Thursday, and what would come of all this? You had noticed your viewer numbers had spiked that day, so it was definitely beneficial that you’d caught his eye. You just weren’t sure what would happen next.
--
Denki was grinning into the camera, wiping the cum off of his abs with the towel he kept beside him, his chest and cheeks flushed pink. He adjusted in his chair, tugging the toy out of his hole and chucking it to the side, pulling his boxers back up over his softening cock. “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, babes.” 
He chuckled at the comments flooding the chat as he reached for his water and took a sip. 
Tapeman: As always, you never disappoint me, Chargebolt.
“Hey thanks, Tapeman! I appreciate you always coming to hang out...get it? Coming?”
Mindfucker: Ridiculous.
“Aw, you love me, Mindfucker.” He winked at the camera. “So, did you guys enjoy my Q&A the other day?”
The chat filled with praise, making him grin. He loved to talk to his fans, and sometimes they had some great questions for him. He knew a lot of people just watched him as a way to get off, but he liked to give a little piece of himself to them because he knew that most of the people who watched were probably lonely, and he wanted to help with that in some way. He kept things laid back, joking and laughing with his viewers before and after the show, taking requests and doing his best to remember some of the regulars. Some of the few who had been with him from the beginning he’d made into moderators to help with keeping things somewhat orderly in the chat. Some of them he actually knew in real life, like his roommate Hitoshi, who used the alias Mindfucker.
Mindfucker: So are we going to talk about Neko? Denki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, you mean the stream the other day? It was…” He made the appropriate motion as he said it. “Chef’s kiss, immaculate. She’s so beautiful…” Trailing off, he let himself think back to the way your chest heaved and the face you made when you came. “I would do anything for her, man.”
RedDaddy: Dude, I agree! She’s also super sweet, like, the total package.
Sighing, he leaned his elbow on the desk, his cheek resting on his palm. “I am a simp, my guy.” He sat up, squinting at the chat. “She said she watches, right? Is she here right now?” He scanned the names of the viewers, frowning. “She probably has a second account. Well, if you’re here, Neko, you should hit me up. I read all of my DM’s okay?” He grinned, winking again. “Alright, I have to go feed the cats so I’m outie 5000, thanks for hanging out and I’ll see you guys next week!”
He said his goodbyes, ending the stream and sighing. He wiped off his toy with the towel and clicked through his stats for the day, smiling at some of the comments that came with the donations. Hitoshi came into his room a few minutes later, holding one of the cats, an orange tabby named Miso, in his arms. “I fed them, you don’t have to.”
Was it weird that his roommate watched him fuck himself on toys and jerk off on the internet on a weekly basis? Nope. Denki had forgone all sense of modesty when it came to sex a long time ago, and Hitoshi was the same. It helped that they fucked around on occasion, best friends who got lonely and lived together sometimes did that, he guessed. Or maybe they were weird. It was whatever, he didn’t like to think about it too much. 
“What would I do without you, Toshi?”
“Kill the cats, probably.” He deadpanned, leaning in the doorway. “Burn all the toast you try to make, buy the wrong peanut butter, eat Cheese-Itz for breakfast every day, forget to pay the cable bill.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can keep going.”
“Fuck off, I got the all-natural peanut butter once, it was an accident!” Denki threw his soiled towel into the laundry basket by the closet and picked up the toy he’d used, waving it around a bit. “Did you enjoy the stream?”
Hitoshi snorted, eyeing the dildo warily. “I didn’t really watch, I had my eye on the chat. I was looking for Neko.”
“Man, I can’t believe she’s a fan!” He waved the dildo some more, watching as it jiggled. “I would let her do unspeakable things to me.”
“Look out, your sub is showing, Denki.” Hitoshi teased. “But I agree, she’s pretty great. I wonder if she’ll ever do private shows.” Pausing to scritch Miso behind the ears, he continued. “I’m sure they’d be in high demand.”
Denki stood, pointing at Hitoshi with the dildo. He really needed to put it down somewhere and stop brandishing it around like a sword. “Don’t even, I’d spend all my money on that girl.” 
“I know you would.” He chuckled. “I did try to go through the usernames and see if I could find out who she could be, but I didn’t have any luck.”
“It’s okay! I’m leaving it up to fate now, man. If the universe wants us to know each other, we will.” He stuck his thumb towards the ensuite. “I’m going to wash my ass and then we can play Among Us if you want.”
Hitoshi, completely unphased as usual, nodded. “I’ll get a team together. Check the discord when you get out.”
Humming, Denki made his way to the bathroom, picking up his phone on the way. It buzzed as he closed the door, and he glanced down to see he had a message from his other moderator and friend, Eijirou, aka RedDaddy. Tossing the dildo in the sink, he looked down at the screen and opened the message.
Eiji: No luck on finding Neko on the stream, but she said she never misses a Thursday, so I bet she was there.
Denki: Thanks for keeping an eye out, man. I appreciate you. Among us in 30?
Eiji: Bet. I’ll ask Kats to play too.
--
Your next stream day had you feeling nervous. Chargebolt had talked directly at you on his last stream, asking you to slide into his DMs, and you had yet to take him up on it. You didn’t know what you were so scared of, Chargebolt was a nice guy. You chalked it up to the fear of the unknown. If you sent him a message, what would you even say? ‘Hey dude, nice cock?’ It was bound to be a disaster.
Pushing your nerves back down, you made sure you were ready for your stream, excited for the news you were about to drop on your viewers. You were needing a little extra cash due to some unfortunate car trouble, and you’d figured out a way to make up what you needed in record time.
“Hey everyone, welcome!” You smiled at the camera, waving your fingers. “Thanks for coming! I see a lot of familiar names here tonight. Hi Mindfucker, Dynamight, RedDaddy, Tapeman, LightningMcQueen!”
LightningMcQueen: Hey, beautiful! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.
Dynamight: Chill out, McQueen, you look desperate.
RedDaddy: Be nice, Dynamight. Hi, Neko!
Dynamight: Fuck off, Shittyhair.
Mindfucker: How’s your cat, Neko?
“Be good, Dynamight. You’re lucky I know you don’t mean that!” You giggled at the antics of your regulars, smiling at the question about your cat. “Ichigo is doing good, Mindfucker, thanks for asking! I’ll bring her on camera after the show if you want to say hi!”
Minfucker just sent a cat emoji and you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m beginning to think that you’re just here for Ichigo and not me.”
The chat went crazy with people denying it, telling you how much they loved watching you every week. You lit up, feeling more excited about your news.
“So I have something I want to discuss before we get started today. I’ve decided I want to try out doing some private shows, so I’m going to be offering up a few spots. I’m going to give some of my longest and most frequent supporters a shot first, and if all goes well, then I’ll open them up to the rest of you! I’ll be adding a signup link at the bottom of my page after tonight’s stream, so if you’re interested you can apply and I’ll pick a few of you and we’ll work out a schedule! How does that sound?”
Dynamight: McQueen already has his credit card ready I bet.
“Aw, you don’t want to play with me, Dynamight?” You teased, giving the camera your best pout.
Dynamight: You couldn’t handle me, Princess.
LightningMcQueen: Hush. You’re a bottom, Dyna.
Dynamight: Die you fucking extra.
LightningMcQueen: Love you too, blasty.
“I was going to let you pick the toy today, Dynamight, but if you can’t behave then I’m just going to have to let someone else have a turn.” You gave the camera a disapproving look, frowning. You’d picked up that these guys were friends, so you knew they were just messing with each other.
A donation popped up from Dynamight with a comment attached. 
Let McQueen choose this time, babe.
“It looks like Dynamight is going to let you choose, McQueen. Which one?” You pulled over the box you kept your toys in and showed it to the camera. “Pick a color.”
LightningMcQueen: Yellow
You pulled the yellow silicone out of the box and showed it to the chat, smirking. “I call this one Chargebolt because it’s the same color as his hair. Are you sure this is the one you want me to use?”
--
When your stream ended, Denki leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. The fact that he’d watched you fuck yourself with a dildo that you’d named after him was the hottest thing he could have imagined. He was jealous of that piece of bright yellow silicone more than he should be. He’d still enjoyed it, if the mess across his abs and chest were any indication. 
He cleaned himself up and pulled on a shirt, clicking on the link for the private show signup. It was pretty straightforward, listing the price and how long the show would be, and asking for his username and what he would be interested in doing or seeing and what day would work best.
Staring at the form for a moment, he contemplated his options. He could sign up with his LightningMcQueen account, and he might have a chance. He was the first one out of his friends to find your channel one night when he was bored and horny. Then he’d shown it to Hitoshi and then shared your info with Eijirou, Katsuki, and Hanta. He would be considered one of the longest and loyal viewers like you had said.
However, if you got a request from Chargebolt? What would you do? Would you ignore it? 
“Toshi!” He called out, knowing his roommate would hear him without him having to get up. “I’m having a crisis!”
The door opened, and the purple-haired man stood in the doorway. “I am not prepared to handle your bi panic right now, Denki.”
“Are you going to put in for a private show from Neko?” Denki pushed on, ignoring his friend’s exasperation. 
“I spoke that into existence last week, you know. You’re welcome.”
Flopping back in his chair, Denki closed his eyes. “Should I send in the request with this account or with the Chargebolt one?”
Hitoshi shrugged, watching their cat Sashimi wander into the room. “You’ve wanted to talk to her for ages, man. You could have messaged her forever ago and you wouldn’t be playing this game with her. Sign up with your actual account.”
“I mean, she must think I’m cute, right? Otherwise, she wouldn’t watch.” He sat up, logging out of his secondary account and into his main one. He had a few unread DM’s, so he clicked, his breath catching in his throat. “Dude, look.”
There was a message from you, short but sweet.
Hi, Chargebolt. I don’t know if you saw the stream today, but you should check it out if you haven’t. I left it up for you.”
“She wants you to see her use that dildo she named after you.” Hitoshi patted his shoulder, and then bent down to pick up Sashimi. “I signed up but I told her I just wanted to have a date with her cat. She probably won’t pick me.”
“She will, she loves cats.” Denki clicked on your page and scrolled down to the bottom where the signup was again, letting it populate his main account in the information, and writing ‘any day except Thursday’ in the section for the time that worked for him. “I’m going to get this girl to date me, just you watch.”
Snorting, his roommate closed the door behind him as he left. “I believe in you, Pikachu.”
Once his request was submitted, he went back to his DM’s and sent you a message back.
“I was there, Neko. I never miss a stream. I submitted for a private show, so I hope you’ll pick me. I’ve been one of your viewers since the beginning, you know.”
---
In your head, you tried to plan what you would say once you were face to face (via camera) with the one and only Chargebolt. Everything your brain seemed to come up with fell short. What did you say to this guy, who you’d been simping over for over 9 months, who lit up your screen every Thursday with terrible puns and panty-dropping smiles? You knew exactly what he looked like and sounded like when he came. It was a strange thing to think that you knew that but you’d never actually spoken to him before.
It made you feel a little better when you realized he knew just as much about you. That he watched you fuck yourself on a dildo you’d named after him, and then spent the rest of the stream showing off your fluffy white cat Ichigo. 
It was time to put on your big girl panties. You could do this. 
Chargebolt had been one of the few that you’d chosen to do these shows with. He was also the last one. You’d met with 4 others, the ones who were the most active in your chat, the ones you assumed were actually friends. 
Your first one was with Tapeman, who asked you to call him Sero. He was cute, with the widest, prettiest smile you’d ever seen. He made you laugh, and called you beautiful, and spoke to you in Spanish. You didn’t feel uncomfortable once with him, and the experience gave you hope that the rest would be just as nice.
Mindfucker was next, whose name was Shinsou and lowkey your favorite one. He didn’t want anything sexual at all, which surprised you. You sat with him and drank tea and you got to meet his two fur children, Miso and Sashimi, while he told you about his roommate. You let him admire Ichigo, and talked about music. He was sarcastic, but not in a mean way, and you were pretty sure he was going to be your new best friend.
RedDaddy and Dynamight had asked to do theirs together since they were dating. You wanted to question why they both watched your stream but RedDaddy, who was actually named Kirishima, answered it for you.
“We’re both bi, and we think you’re cute!”
“Yeah, plus McQueen has a thing for you so we like to be in the chat to help him out.” Dynamite, aka Bakugou, added in his gruff voice, folding his arms across his chest.
“Aw, that’s sweet!” You smiled at them. “He didn’t request a private show though, so I guess he doesn’t like me that much.”
Bakugou coughed and Kirishima grinned. “Maybe he was nervous! I’m sure you’ll meet him in one of these someday!”
“Enough about that dumbass.” Bakugou leaned forward, his hand on Kirishima’s knee. “Give us a show and we’ll give you one in return. Use that orange and green one for me, Princess.”
And give you a show they did. You got lost in how they looked at each other while they jerked each other off, and you were pretty sure they forgot you were even there at some point. When it was over, you suggested that they start their own channel.
Bakugou scoffed, but you could tell he was blushing a bit.
“I don’t know, Neko. I don’t think I could share him with anyone else. Except you, you’re the exception.” Kirishima grinned, winking at you.
But now it was Chargebolt’s turn. You made sure you had everything you needed, making sure Ichigo was out of the room, and then signed into your account. 
Chargebolt was online, so you made the private room and sent him the request. You felt like you were shaking, and you checked yourself in the camera to make sure you didn’t look like a wreck.
You barely had time to breathe before he entered the chat, his camera screen coming to life and showing you his smiling face. You melted a bit, biting your lip, gazing at how attractive he was. 
“Hey, Neko!” Chargebolt was as vibrant as ever, tucking his hair behind his ears, the black lightning bolt in his hair dark against the bright yellow of the rest of it.
“It’s nice to see you, Chargebolt.” You tried to relax, rolling your shoulders back. “It’s kind of weird knowing you can see me too.”
He laughed, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to stare at his arms in the tank top he was wearing. Chargebolt had a small frame, but his muscles were defined. You’d seen him plow through an entire bag of chips on stream once, without pausing to breathe, so you assumed he must be one of those people with amazing metabolism that you envied. “You can call me Denki if you want, kitten.”
You choked on air at the nickname, trying to compose yourself. “Kitten?”
“Well, Neko means cat, doesn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”
“No!” You practically shouted. “No, I mean, it’s fine. I like it.”
“Sweet.” He grinned. “Man, I’ve wanted to get you alone like this for so long, and now I’m just feeling really nervous.”
“You’re nervous?” You were surprised. The always cool but super dorky Chargebolt was nervous because of you? “So am I.”
Chargebolt- sorry, Denki, rested his elbow on the desk, propping his head in his hand. “Well, glad to know I’m not the only disaster here. I’ve been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, and then finally Hitoshi got me to talk about you on stream a few weeks ago, and now here we are.”
“Who’s Hitoshi? One of your regulars?” Knowing that you weren’t the only one who was sweating bullets had you relaxing a bit. 
“Oh yeah, Mindfucker! You know him right? He did a thing with you the other day, didn’t he?”
Eyes wide, you stared at him. “Shinsou?”
“Yeah, that’s my best friend and my roommate. He said he showed you the cats.” He shrugged. “You picked all my friends for your private shows. Sero, Kiri, Bakugou, Shinsou.” He paused, smirking. “I forgot that you don’t know that I’m LightningMcQueen.”
“That’s you? I was wondering why they didn’t send me a request, but it all makes sense now.”
Denki shot you finger guns and winked. “Kachow!”
“Oh god, stop it.” You rolled your eyes.
He chuckled, grinning at you. “So, did Shinsou talk about me?”
You giggled, remembering back. “He told me a story about how his roommate mistook a fuzzball for a spider and spent the afternoon sitting on a table waiting for him to come home and kill it.”
“It looked like one of those freaky poisonous ones from where I was sitting. I was afraid to let it out of my sight in case it got away and then multiplied and killed me in my sleep or something.” He took a deep breath. “Spiders are terrifying.”
This man was amazing. “You are everything I always thought you’d be, you know that?”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He sighed. “You have to have some kind of embarrassing story to tell me so I don’t feel like a fool. You’ve got to make it even.”
“One year my dad hired a clown to come to my birthday party. He walked in the front door and I jetted out the back door and hid in the garden until he left. Clowns are just as terrifying as spiders.”
Chargebolt laughed, and the sound made your stomach do a somersault. It was just as bright and happy as he was. “That is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard!”
“I’m glad my childhood trauma is amusing you.” You deadpanned, trying to keep the smile off your face.
“Aw, don’t be like that kitten! I’m glad we can bond over our irrational fears like this, you know?” He 
You shivered happily. “Okay, okay.” You cleared your throat. “So, you didn’t write anything down here for what you wanted out of our chat today.”
“Oh, okay, down to business then.” He sat up straight. “Well, I wanted to tell you myself instead of submitting it on the form.”
Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t want to give me a chance to back out?”
Snorting, and shook his head. “Nah, I think you’ll like it, kitten.” He folded his hands behind his head. “I want you to tell me what to do. I’m at your mercy.”
Swallowing thickly, you blinked at him. That was...really hot. “You like being told what to do?”
“I would love nothing more for you to pull my hair and peg me within an inch of my life while calling me your little cock slut.” He stared at you with an eyebrow raised, looking pleased with himself when he saw your expression.
Your thighs clenched together involuntarily. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, right? I mean, I’m a switch, I’d do the same to you if you asked.  But we can save that for next time.” He smirked. “So, you down?”
Next time? This man was going to kill you. “Take off your shirt, Denki.”
“Fuck yes.” He groaned, reaching behind him and tugging the garment over his head. 
His chest and abs came into view, and you let your eyes linger on the barbells through his nipples. “Pants too.”
He pushed his chair away from his desk and shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side. You gazed at him in his blue boxer briefs, eyes lingering on his thin waist, strong thighs, and the outline of his cock. He was a sight to behold, honestly.
You held the fangirling back, leaning forward to get a better look at him. “Do you have any toys, Denki?”
“Of course, Kitten.” He moved out of view for a moment, coming back with a box. 
“Let me see.” He tilted the box towards the camera, your eyes flitting over the different colors and shapes inside. “The pink one.” 
“Okay, hang on, let me-” He cut off, standing up and throwing the pink toy on the bed. He picked up the laptop and moved it, laying down beside it and angling the camera so you could see what he was doing.
“Did you stretch yourself, baby?” 
He made a noise that sounded like a whine in the back of his throat at the pet name, obviously pleased by it. “Yeah, of course I did.” He glanced at the screen. “You should, uh, take your shirt off too.”
“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do, not the other way around.” Teasing him, you crossed your arms over your chest.
He pouted slightly. “I’ve been good so far though, right?”
“All you’ve done is take off two items of clothing and move to the bed. You’re gonna have to work harder than that!”
Huffing, he lifted his ass off the bed and tugged his underwear down his legs, kicking them off, his hand already moving to wrap around his already hard cock.
“Did I say you could touch yourself, Denki?” It was getting hard to keep up the stern act you were putting on, but you knew it was what he wanted. You wanted to watch him touch himself, watch the way his eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed over the leaking head of his cock, and the way he would bite his lip when he moved his wrist a certain way.
You could be patient though, so you continued.
“If I was there right now, what would you want me to do first?”
He stilled, blinking at you a few times. “I would want your mouth first, I think.”
Humming, you sat back, pulling your shirt over your head, letting him admire the lacey purple bra covering your chest. “You’d want my mouth on your cock? Trace my tongue along that vein along the underside and suck on the head a little?”
Denki groaned, closing his eyes, his grip visibly tightening around his shaft. He looked like he was trying not to get worked up too fast. You were amazed at how your words were affecting him, so you pressed on.
“I’d take you all the way down until I was choking on it, and I’d let you hold onto my hair and fuck my face. God, you don’t know how many times I've dreamed about doing that for you. What would you say to that?”
The blush spreading down his neck and chest made him look so pretty. “Ugh, fuck kitten, you’re killing me.” He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at you again. “I’d tell you how good you made me feel, but I wouldn’t let you finish me off that way.”
“Oh no? Tell me what else you’d do.” You took the opportunity to move to the bed yourself, pulling off your leggings and panties all at once. 
Eyes glued to you while you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room, he continued. “Fuck, um, I would...god, you’re beautiful.”
Flushing at the compliment, you looked down shyly, breaking character. “I’ve heard you say that before and I still don’t believe it.”
Denki scoffed. “If you need a daily reminder, I’d be happy to be the one to tell you, kitten.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart do a little flip. “I might seem like a dumbass but I’m using this camboy money to pay off my student loans for my masters in English lit so I can quote you entire sonnets from Shakespeare without hesitation if that will help you believe me.”
Your eyebrows shot up, impressed. Realizing you’d ruined the moment, you sighed, covering your eyes with your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m crap at this. I really just want to watch you cum.”
Chuckling, you heard him shifting on the bed. “Okay, how about this? Forget the toys. Just close your eyes and listen to me.”
“Okay.”
“If you were here with me right now, just like that, I’d spend so much time exploring every inch of you with my tongue. I’d start with your lips, your jaw, your neck. Collarbones, shoulders, your chest, those cute nipples-”
“How are nipples cute?” You interrupted with a snort.
You could hear him trying not to laugh, his voice pitched a bit higher. “Shh, don’t ruin it.”
“I think you just did when you said ‘cute nipples’.” You’d never had this much fun with someone in a situation like this. “If I had a dick, my boner would have just died.”
Denki wheezed, and you opened your eyes to look over at him. He was gazing back at you, his eyes bright as he laughed into his palm. “God, I like you so much, kitten.”
Your grin softened, your heart pounding at his words. “Me too, Denki.” 
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wishingyouback · 3 years
Text
just call me.
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semi-tsundere!minho
warnings: none
the walk back to campus would've been short, if it wasn't for the uncomfortable presence of your ex right beside you.
normally, you would've found any type of silence comforting, you would have even preferred it actually, but unfortunately your ex-boyfriend didn't get the memo, and had even got the extra (unnecessary) mile of walking you back to your class after bumping into you during lunch at your favourite, just across the street.
at first, you thought he was just being nice, being a little formal as it's been a while since you two have hung out, but apparently he wasn't, and was genuinely planning to walk you back as if it wasn't making you uncomfortable. after you had voiced out that it wasn't needed, at all. yet here you were, passing through the usual crowd of people with your arms wrapped comfortingly around yourself as you smiled at students you recognised. some who lounged around campus, sitting on the steps and some walking out of their class to sleep in the library -- it was a normal thing.
except for the fact that you noticed a figure making their way up to you, hands tucked coolly in their pocket as they effortlessly slung their leather backpack on one shoulder.
"you got a minute?"
the somber tone you've known minho to have is now hidden behind a more serious one. your ex halts whatever it is he's blabbering on about, staring at you then the raven-haired boy who patiently waits for your answer, not showing any emotion on his face to hint how he's feeling.
"dude, you mind? we were in the middle of a conversation."
in the midst of your surprise, you turn to minho to watch his reaction, but all he does is let out a heavy sigh and lazily turns to face the boy next to you.
"my bad, i thought for it to be considered a conversation there would have to be two people, talking." all you can do is watch the exchange by the side, glancing from one boy to the other. minho smiles sarcastically, then turns back to you, "do you have a minute?"
"i-i," you compose yourself, "i do."
"see," minho turns back to the boy who you once dated during sophomore year. "this is how it's done. see you, dude."
before you can register what is going on, minho subtly slips his calloused hands into your softer ones, trying to ignore the fact that your hands with his, do fit so perfectly together.
you let minho pull you away, taking note of how gentle he's being even when his face shows nothing but pure annoyance of the presence of your ex. when he reaches the quieter side of campus that you're familiar with, he let's your hand go. the both of you stand quietly together, -- this silence, although unexpected, was bearable -- comforting even. you were unsure of what to say. you're not used to seeing minho pull such a stunt, especially out in the open when he had made it clear many times, that he wanted to keep your friendship with him a secret. 
something to do about having to introduce you to too many people if he were to start hanging out with you, which you found amusing since minho had a handful of friends he could tolerate.
he wasn't fond of most people here.
"you were with him," he finally breaks the silence. "why?"
minho doesn't sound judgemental or harsh, in fact he sounds more concerned.
"with him?" you echo back the question, already being able to see minho roll his eyes despite his back still facing you. "it wasn't deliberately... we bumped into each other at Haven and he offered to walk me to class."
"and you said yes?" he finally turns to look at you, eyes carefully scanning your face to see if he's crossing the line.
"no," you sigh. "i said no, but he insisted and then waited 'till i was done so he could pay for my lunch too." you say with deep regret.
minho listens; he nods. he lets it all sink in until suddenly, he rolls his eyes and looks away from you.
"well," he shrugs. "if he tries doing that again just call me."
you furrow your eyebrows. "i thought you didn't like talking on the phone--"
"-- i changed my mind." he says nonchalantly, trying to brush it off but you notice the change in demeanour and bite back a smile. "i'm making an exception, alright? if there's an emergency or anything; just call me."
you’re a little stunned, “you consider this as an emergency?” the bored look he gives you makes you rephrase your sentence, to ask him something else.
"what if you don't pick up?" you genuinely ask.
minho wasn't the best texter, so you couldn't imagine how he'd be like with phone calls.
"i will," he says a little too quickly. "i mean, i will. just text me beforehand or something," he scratches the back of his head before clearing his throat and once again, avoids eye contact.
"lee minho, are you going soft on me?" you tease, deciding to use the moment right now to joke with him before you two part ways and go back to acknowledging each other with quiet nods around campus.
"you wish," he exaggerates a scoff, trying to cover up the pinkness of his cheek with his carefree attitude but he doesn't think he does a good job with it. not when he sees the cute smile you have on your face. "stop having shitty exes, then maybe i wouldn't have to be doing this."
"sure," you respond mockingly. "maybe you should try finding the right guy for me then, you know, since i have shitty exes." you quote with a roll of your eyes.
minho had his own share of ex girlfriends too, some you weren't sure how they ended up with him, but still, he was always picking at your somewhat horrible taste in men. for what reason, you aren't too sure.
"like you'd take my advice," minho scoffs as you two start walking back to the main area.
as you two reach a crowd, you're ready to do what usually do which is, walk away from minho, pretend you didn't see him and continue on with your day. but when you make your usual turn and still feel minho's presence next to you when you start walking up the steps to your class, you raise your eyebrows at him.
"what?"
"this isn't part of the arrangement?"
"what arrangement?"
is he being serious.
"the one you made about us not being seen together? now shoo!"
minho stifles a laugh at how you try to get rid of him as if he's one pesky fly, but shakes his head instead. he places both of his hands onto your shoulders then directs you to to your next class, which you coincidentally have together.
"i guess i changed my mind," he grins. "let's go, you're gonna make us late."
--
tag(s): @brokenwigglyline
--
author's note: can you tell i absolutely missed writing, and posting? :,) hahah but! again, i hope you enjoyed this and if you've read this far; thank you so much x
written roughly under an hour, so i apologise if it isn't any good, again.. but if there are any errors i'll try to fix them asap!
you're loved, always
ily, always x
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five-rivers · 3 years
Text
Hobbies
Phic phight! @idiot-cheesehead-archenemy
A series of vignettes about Danny having various hobbies.
(Master the Orb)
Danny exhaled slowly as the ice built up between his hands.  Each new layer glittered in the ghostlight cast by the overhead ambient ectoplasm, embedding complex patterns in the overall piece as new layers built up over it.
“Very good, Great One,” rumbled Frostbite behind his shoulder.  “Your control has improved immensely.”
Danny inhaled equally slowly, examining his work so far but not adding to it quite yet.  “I don’t know.  It looks a little lopsided.”
“Mmm, it looks fine to me.  Especially for such an early attempt.”
Danny sighed, exhaling the ice he had built up with his breath.  “So, it is lopsided.”
“Consider it practice,” said Frostbite, encouragingly. “It takes time to master art of any kind.”
“Humans do ice sculpture, too,” mumbled Danny. “They get really good, too.  I’ve seen pictures.  And videos.  They don’t even have ice powers.”  He rubbed his thumb over the surface, smoothing over a slightly rougher patch.
“That may be true,” said Frostbite, “but, again, you just started, Great One.  You have only had your powers for a little while.  Give yourself some support.”
Danny shrugged.  “I guess it isn’t something my life depends on, so I can relax about it.” He built up another layer of ice. “This is oddly therapeutic, and I don’t say therapeutic lightly.  You know Jazz.”
“I do indeed,” said Frostbite, somewhat ruefully, head half-bowed.  
Jazz could be a force of nature, even more so than ice powers.
He held the ice orb up to the light.  It caught on the patterns he had placed there. Fractals were the easiest.  He was hoping that if he got better, he’d be able to make real sculptures with patterns in them, instead of just orbs.  
But, first, he had to master the orb.  Just like how when drawing you had to do circles first.  Circle. Orb.
Ooorb.  Yep.  
The controlled application of ice.  The evenness of the internal patterns.  The solidity, density, and durability.  
His orb was… not very orblike, despite what Frostbite said.  Frostbite probably thought he was making so flat on purpose.  
Yeah.  He was terrible at this.  
He was having fun, though.  
.
.
 (Furnace)
“You’re taking up glass blowing?” asked Tucker, surprised.
“Yeah?  Is there a problem?” asked Danny, reaching over to stop his friend from accidentally drawing a line of orange sharpie across his poster on the themes in Macbeth.
“No!” said Tucker, quickly.  “But, like, why?  It just seems… unlike you.”
“Exactly,” said Danny, nodding sharply.  “It has absolutely nothing to do with my powers and nothing to do with my family.  Plus, I had a coupon.”
“For glass blowing?”
“It was a groupon,” said Danny.  “For making Christmas tree ornaments.  I’m going to do it with Jazz.”
“But, Danny,” said Sam, looking over from where she was working on her own poster about Twelfth Night, “glass blowing, uh, involves a lot of heat.”
“Sure?”
“Danny, you have an ice core.”
“Ah,” said Danny.  “Well.   I’ve got to use that groupon.  If it doesn’t work out, it’s only the once, right?”
.
“Oh my gosh,” said Danny, wringing sweat out of his t-shirt.  “That was awesome!”  He giggled to himself and peaked into the annealer again.  “So awesome!”
“Uh huh,” said Jazz.  Her attempts had been… rather less successful than Danny’s, partially because she was trying so hard to make them perfect.  But she had managed a few little baubles, nonetheless.  “I think these’ll all be good for the tree. Assuming we get one.”
“And it isn’t set on fire.”
“Oh, yeah, that was a bad year.”
He squeaked open the annealer again, only closing it when the instructor lightly scolded him.  “They’re so terrible and lopsided,” said Danny.  
“Hey,” said Jazz.  “Mine are fine.”
“I know!  I was talking about mine.”
“Ah, okay then.  I agree.”
“You aren’t supposed to agree.”
“What, you want me to lie?  And after you said it first?”
“No,” said Danny.  “But you could be nicer about it.”
“I’m your sister, what do you expect?”
.
.
 (Lung Capacity)
Danny let the last note trail off to complete silence. He stared apprehensively at the assembled student body.  Curse Mr. Lancer’s extra credit talent show assignment.  Any minute now, they’d start laughing at him.  
What was he thinking?  He’d just watched a few YouTube tutorials on breath control, and he thought he could come up here and sing in front of people?  He was a moron, and—
Sam and Tucker started cheering wildly, followed rapidly by everyone else in the gym.  
Okay.  What?
Sam and Tucker, following impulses known only to overexcited teenagers, swarmed up the stage and attacking Danny.  
“Why didn’t you tell us you could sing like that?” demanded Sam.  
“When did you learn?” asked Tucker, doing his level best to noogie Danny.  “Why did you learn?”
“I wanted to improve my, you know, wail,” muttered Danny, “and all the breath control YouTube videos either had to do with diving or singing, so…”  He did a little head wiggle to illustrate his point and also dislodge Tucker.  
“I just can’t believe you kept this a secret from us,” said Sam.  
Danny snorted and took a sort of half bow before attempting to leave the stage.  “My dudes, I am basically made of secrets.”
“Encore!” screamed someone who clearly hated him.  
“Oh, no,” said Danny, bracing himself against Sam and Tucker who were pushing him back into the middle of the stage.  “No encore.  I don’t do encores.”
But now people were chanting.  Chanting.  
“Come on, Danny,” said Tucker.  “Just once!”
“Yeah, these are your fifteen minutes of fame!”
“I had those already!  Multiple times!”
“That was Poindexter.”
“And now it can be you.”
Danny reluctantly took the microphone back off the stand.
.
.
 (Letterhead)
The ink was thick, almost creamy, and paint-like. It was the ectoplasm mix, which also gave it a rich, rosy glow.  
Danny was practicing ghost calligraphy.  Well, one particular subset of ghost calligraphy, one which put special emphasis on the color of the letters as well as how they fit together.  
It was a totally useless hobby.  But it was… not exactly calming.  No.  He’d gotten way too angry about poorly formed arcs and crooked lines a couple of times.  So. Yeah.  Not calming.  But… meditative.  Meditative. And there was something satisfying about seeing the finished product.  
Plus, if he framed his better finished work, they made for good presents for weirdo ghosts.
“You misspelled this,” drawled Ghost Writer.  
“No, I didn’t.”
“Keuwii only has one kei.”
“This is only one kei.”
“What’s this, then?”
“It’s a flourish.”
“A flourish.”
Danny rolled his eyes.  “Everyone’s a critic.  If you don’t want it—”
“I didn’t say that.”
Danny raised an eyebrow.  
Ghost Writer made a show of rolling his eyes. “Very well.  Do you have one for my half-brother Randy.  Perhaps one that says something along the lines of ‘idiot?’”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
.
.
 (Babies on Fire)
“Danny,” said Jazz.  “What are you doing up at three in the morning with a lighter? And… yarn?  Is that yarn?”
“Dad wanted me to learn how to sew,” said Danny, “but I don’t like needles, not the sharp ones, anyway.”
“You get stitches every other week,” pointed out Jazz.
“Exactly,” said Danny, gesturing with the lighter.  “So, I decided to look into, you know, knitting. And I was on knitting websites, and having, you know, a pretty good time with that, but then I found out about the babies.”
“The babies.”
“The babies,” said Danny, seriously.  “And the blankets that are on fire.  It depends on the yarn, you see.  If the yarn is the wrong kind of yarn, if it catches on fire, the blanket can melt onto the baby.  It’s terrible.  Just terrible.”
“I kind of think that if the blanket is on fire you have bigger problems,” said Jazz.  She took a step closer to her obviously insane younger brother.  “Are you… testing the yarn?”
“I have to, Jazz.  It’s for the babies.”
“Alright,” said Jazz.  “You are going to limit it to just the yarn in our house, right?”
“But we don’t have any babies.”
“Okay, that didn’t answer my question, but, like…” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Since we don’t have any babies here, why are you testing the yarn?”
“Because we might have babies here in the future,” said Danny.  “Or I might knit something and give it to someone as a gift and then they give it to their baby.  Oh my gosh, I’d feel so guilty.”
“I’d be more worried about the toxic waste in our basement,” said Jazz, which was exactly the wrong thing to say to a sleep-deprived half-ghost on the edge of an Obsession-fueled breakdown.  Danny vanished in a blur, trailing yarn behind him. Jazz, who had only gotten up for a glass of water, cursed under her breath.
.
.
 (Before the Ball)
“I’m so, so sorry, Dora,” said Danny, holding back something adjacent to laughter.  
Dora laughed, more openly.  “It is fine, Sir Phantom.  Even now, you are better than my brother.”
“Am I really?  Your brother?  Who was raised to do this?”
“Well,” said Dora, letting go and stepping back out of the range of Danny’s feet.  Which were, evidently, both left feet.  “No, I’m afraid, but it is amusing to say, isn’t it?”  She pressed her fingers to her lips, suppressing more laughter.  
“Yeah, it is,” admitted Danny.  
“In any case, you are far more graceful concerning your mistakes than he ever was.  More gallant. A better representative of chivalry altogether.”  She patted the shoulders of his shirt.  
“Thanks,” said Danny.  “Do you think that I’ll be, uh, ready in time for the party?”
“It’s more than a party,” said Dora.  “You’re being officially knighted.  You’ll be a peer of the realm.”
“Aha,” said Danny.  “Yeah.  I don’t… what?  Really? That’s a thing?”
“You thought I was joking?”
“No,” said Danny, drawing out the word.  He had, in fact, thought she was joking and only accepted her offer to teach him how to dance because he thought it sounded like fun and like it might take his mind off his problems.  “Of course not.  So. Dancing.  Important.  For first impressions?”
“Everyone already knows you, Phantom,” said the knight assigned as Dora’s bodyguard.  “But dancing is surprisingly useful for swordplay.  Which you need all the help you can get at.”
“You said I was getting better.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re good.”
“Ouch.”
.
.
 (Time)
“I don’t have time for a hobby,” complained Danny through the Fenton Phones.  “Maybe if the ghosts let up a bit—” He zapped one of said ghosts.  
“Danny, are you fighting ghosts right now?”
“Yeah.  That’s my point.”
“Oh my god, get off the phone.”
“No way!  This is the only time I can call you, what with all of your classes.”
“Danny…” said Jazz, clearly exasperated.  He took advantage of the lull in the conversation to blast a few more ghosts.  
“I’m fine Jazz.”
“You are not fine.  You are, like, ten thousand miles away from fine.  When was the last time you even slept through the night?”
“Eh,” said Danny.  “Recently?”
“You need to take more time for yourself.”
Danny sighed and captured the last ghost.  “Maybe catching ghosts is my hobby.”
“Catching ghosts is your self-imposed penance for doing something that isn’t even your fault.  Not a hobby.”
“Okay, okay.  I’ll talk to you on Wednesday, same time.”
“Danny, don’t—”
He hung up.  
“Ugh,” said Danny.  “I guess I need to find a hobby.  Have to find time to find a hobby.”
“Perhaps I could be of help.”
“Ah!”  Danny jolted forward, dropping his phone.  
Clockwork gestured with one hand, and the phone dropped back into Danny’s hands from above.  
“Ohhh my ghost, why are you here?”
“You were just talking about finding time.  And now I’m here.”
“Good timing, I guess?”
“Only the best,” said Clockwork, evenly.  “But we were speaking of hobbies.  Might I suggest ice sculpture?  Your friends in the Far Frozen would be more than happy to teach you...”
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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years
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DaveFarts - Episode 9 “Trapped In The Closet” [Episode List] Following the most blatant sit-com tropes you can think of, Dave decides to spy on his girlfriend, Dana, because he thinks she’s hiding something. Tim reluctantly decides to join his friend, but the two end up stuck in the girl’s closet, which will eventually turn into a gas chamber.
Trapped In The Closet
“Yeah Dana. Sure. No problem.”
Tim was working on some college tasks, but couldn’t help but to eavesdrop Dave’s conversation with his girlfriend, Dana, on the phone. He could only hear his friend’s replies, which being only the 50% of what they were talking about, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Not that he was interested: Dave was simply hanging out in his room because he had nothing better to do during that warm Summer evening, apparently, and so he simply showed up to Tim’s place with a couple of beers and a remarkable amount of procrastination powers.
Despite being relatively hot outside, Dave was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of long, grey levi jeans, kinda loose as usual. Something that Tim hated about his kink is how quickly he checked his friend’s outfit, something that he always did since Dave is now basically his “fart bud”, against all odds.
“Yeah… yeah… I love you. No… I love you more!”
Kinda funny how Dave, 24, would revert back to an awkward teenager at times whenever he and his girlfriend were on the phone. They probably even acted like that on purpose, because love is doing stupid things together after all.
“Tim. Car. Now!”
Dave hung up and turned weirdly serious, got up and walked downstairs, saying something about getting in the car.
“Wait, what?” Tim asked, questioning whether his friend was being serious or not, but he did follow him to wherever he was going.
“We don’t have much time, Tim. Dana will come back soon. She’s out with her own friends and we have… like… 15 minutes.”
The two walked outside and headed towards the girls’ house, actually only a few blocks away from Tim’s. Tim himself reluctantly followed his bro into this, knowing that, at best, it may turn into a funny mishap to tell to their other pals while being drunk and laugh about it.
“I’ll just pretend your words make any sense, like I usually do…” Tim chuckled, sarcastically, but still following his friend.
“I think she’s hiding something.” Dave explained, walking at a fast pace, Tim right behind him. “She’s been strangely elusive lately and I want to check her room for clues.”
Tim just chuckled in response. “Dave, you do realize that this is not a 90s sit-com, right? Her room? Really? What are you hoping to find out, exactly, anyway? That she’s having some kind of affair behind your back?” he asked, trying to reason with him.
“An affair? You think I’m that kind of guy?” Dave answered, looking surprisingly offended by Tim’s question.   “I just want to make sure she’s fine. She seemed worried about something and she’s like this organized haf-woman/half-machine hybrid who keeps sticky notes in her room to keep an eye on her busy life.”
“Oh…” Tim replied, rather sarcastically.   “Now that makes a lot of sense.”
“Leave your sassiness for later, dork. Can we take your car?” Dave asked.
“Why? We’re already right in front of her house…”
Dave realized that he was so worried that they did, in fact, walked for a couple of blocks and found themselves stepping in Dana’s backyard without even noticing. He just laughed a bit about it.
“Sorry. Love makes me blind.” he joked, knowing that it was a rather silly thing to say anyway.
“Not the words I would have used, but ok.” Tim answered.
“Come on, let’s get inside.” his bro said, with a smirk.  
“Alright… but please, let’s keep a low profile and no awkwa-”
But as they approached to the girl’s house, Dave awkwardly started muttering some kind of theme song that was oddly reminiscent of the Mission Impossibile’s most iconic soundtrack. This guy has a girlfriend, everyone.
“So much for keeping a low profile, Ethan Hunt…” Tim joked.
Dana’s room, following the usual   “average american house tropes” that the writer of this story grew up with in the 90s, was on the second floor. Luckily, the house was empty, so both Tim and Dave could easily climb it without fearing of someone noticing their totally legal actions.
“Look at Tim, such a rebel! Such a fast climber!” Dave whispered, noticing how good Tim was at climbing the girl’s house.
“Thanks. I learned it when I visited your mom.” he joked.
“I thought you’d prefer my dad, you know.” Dave played along, with a rather noticeable reference to Tim’s homosexuality.
“Just… just let’s get done with this.”  
After some awkward climbing, the two found themselves in front of a window leading to Dana’s room. The duo was sitting on a small portion of slanted roof, wondering how to get inside.
“Alright. I could just punch through the window and open it. But you know I don’t like violence against windows.” Dave said, somewhat joking, but really trying to come up with a way to get through this final obstacle.
“Never mind, it’s open.” Tim said, as his hand passed right through the window.   “Or, you know, I got ghost powers all of the sudden, but I doubt it.”
“You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” Dave commented, as he got inside his girlfriend’s room, making sure no one was there, immediately followed by his sassy friend.
The room was fairly big and messy, books and magazines scattered all around the floor and the bed. Dana was a busy woman: she got a degree in economics but, given the tough times, she had troubles finding a decent job lately. Dave actually suspected that this was the reason she was being nervous about, well, everything, understandably.
“Why don’t you just ask her instead of acting like the perfect boyfriend material that you are?” Tim stated, in his usual snarky tone, noticing Dave basically rummaging through Dana’s more personal stuff.
“Just… let me do my thing ok?” he was serious again, trying to find something that could be clue, deep down knowing that all of that was quite non-sense and even ridiculous, but his stubbornness was showing.   “Wait…”
Something drew his attention. A red (therefore important, according to Dana’s code) sticky note on the nightstand. Something was written on it.
“Oh… I guess I was right…” Dave whispered, eyes glued on the note.
“Something about her job?”  
But Tim didn’t get an answer, as they heard someone coming from downstairs. They probably were so focused on their mission that didn’t even notice how someone got inside the house minutes after them. They went silent and tried to listen to the person’s footsteps.
“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.”
They heard a muffled female voice getting closer, probably talking on her phone. A voice that was very familiar.
“Fuck! It’s Dana!” Dave whispered.
The two looked around, looking for a quick solution or a place to hide, blatantly ignoring the window they used to get inside in the first place.
“The closet!” Dave said.
Without even questioning whether this was a good idea or not, the duo sneaked inside Dana’s closet and closed themselves inside just as the girl came into her room, still talking on the phone about something.
Tim and Dave managed to mess things up however, as they ended up in a very small section of that apparently big, spacious closet, so they had to arrange themselves in a weird position. Dave was standing up, towering over Tim, who found himself sitting on the floor instead, right behind his friend… with his face perfectly aligned with his loose jeans butt. As his eyes got adjusted to the dark, Tim started to distinguish the seams and texture’s on Dave’s jeans ass, and the tiny red Levi tag on the right back pocket. He couldn’t help but take a look, which he felt really unnecessary, given the context.
“So… this is where you lived for most of your life…” Dave joked, looking around, as if the closet was some kind of fancy mansion.
“Haha! Another gay joke! Great timing, Dave!” Tim muttered instead. The last thing they had to do was talk.
The two waited for a couple of minutes, hoping that Dana would just leave again or even just go downstairs, so they’d have enough time to get out of there in the hopes that Dave didn’t leave any clue of his presence.
“As long a we remain silent…” Tim whispered.   “We have nothing to worry about.”
Only moments after saying that, he felt a very familiar sound greeting his face. It was a long, rumbling sound coming from Dave’s denim ass. It was one of his usual, well-known loud farts, a fart that he was desperately trying to keep as silent as possible. Luckily, Dana was too busy with her phone to even notice the weird noise coming from inside of her closet.
“Dave! What the fuck?!” Tim hissed.
The gassy friend tried not to laugh, realizing how idiotic the whole situation was.   “I’m sorry dude.” he murmured.   “You know what happens when I’m nervous!”  
The smell was unbearable already. Being in a such small space didn’t certainly help. Those were probably some of the smelliest farts Dave ever managed to rip in Tim’s face, although this time was, against all odds, more like an accident.
“Tim…” Dave whispered, carefully placing his butt closer to his friend’s face.
Another fart erupted, sounding dangerously louder than the previous one. The rough surface of Dave’s denim gently caressed Tim’s nose. The blast of gas then turned into something much more subtle, but still otherwise bubbly. Tim felt his nose burn, as really he had no choice but to breath all of that in.
“Dave I swear. If you don’t stop, Dana’s gonna–”
But another   “slow-paced” rumbly fart cut him off. Dave was seriously trying to contain his well-known farting abilities. Tim, instead, was trying to remain calm, feeling like the Universe was somehow messing with him. That was an insane situation: he certainly wasn’t new to Dave’s farts, but in that context, it felt almost like one of his weird dreams about his fart fetish.
“Tim I’m sorry, at least I know you don’t mind… I hope”
Funnily enough, despite the slightly amused tone in his whispering voice, Dave sounded genuinely sorry. Yet he was right: Tim was insanely enjoying it, but knowing that Dana was out there made the whole thing almost surreal. And, once again, as much as Dave always proved so chill about this stuff, he couldn’t help but feel somehow awkward about having his friend face-farting him so non-chalantly.
And yet another   “ninja” fart was ripped all over his face.   Being nervous really turned Dave’s stomach into a messy cloud of gas, and Tim’s nose was there to vacuum it all up, completely defenseless, standing before the sheer power of the gassy friend’s powerful denim-covered anus.
Even though the situation was absurd, Dave couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. After all, the smell hit him too, and it was getting insane even for the farter himself, whose gas just didn’t stop building up.
“Sorry bro… I have to do this.” he whispered.
Tim felt Dave’s hands gently grabbing the back of his head, holding it still, as he pulled him in the clutches of his denim butt. The warm fabric of the jeans was soaking in that unbearable smell. The sniffer then felt the weight of his gassy friend almost crushing his skull. Despite being dark, Tim realized that Dave was basically sitting on him, using his head as some kind of human stool.
The fart was directly ripped in Tim’s mouth at that point, that rumbly sound once again renewing the already destructive stench. It was supposed to be loud, so loud, that Dave had to basically use his friend’s face to deadpan its impressive thunderous noise. The gassy bro was trying to rip it in the form of a long series, hoping that Dana would fail to hear (or even recognize) his well-known gross, but rather impressive talent.
Tim heard his friend’s sighs of relief after each, rumbling fart, but Dave was also trying not to burst into a laughter that could blow their cover. Fart fetish or not, he couldn’t help but to find it more hilarious than gross.
As much as the lack of space in that closet wouldn’t really allow it, Dave even lifted his right leg a bit, while still   “sitting” on his stool-friend, as a way to facilitate the impressive amount of gas gushing out from his anus. It’s not like he had to worry about Tim passing out or finding it too gross, anyway.
That fart itself was lasting longer than both of them anticipated. They lost count of how much time passed, probably a full minute. Tim’s face was warm and sweaty now, still trapped in the clutches of his gassy bro’s denim butt, directly living in person that thin line between Fart Heaven and Fart Hell.
A final sigh of relief, followed by a louder toot and a chuckle.   “Sorry, bud.” Dave muttered, hoping that his plan worked.
Indeed, Dana didn’t hear a thing. She hung up and left the room, her footsteps slowly turning into a far, muffled sound, until silence announced that the duo was now free to get the heck out of there, especially considering how they were almost both choking on farts.
Tim forgot what fresh, non-fart air felt like in his nostrils and so took a deep, refreshing breath the moment he stepped out of that gas closet. Ironically, Dave did the same, maybe even wondering how would Tim even endure something as overwhelming as his farts, but he didn’t really mind anyway. Despite everything, that was oddly hilarious, as the two stared at each other and then bursted into a laughter.
“Now let’s get out of here…” the farter suggested.
But before the two could even walk towards the window, Dana showed up again in her own room. She didn’t even startle.
“What are you two doing here?” she asked, sounding more like an inquisitive mom than an angry girlfriend. She was fairly mature, after all. “I don’t know what you Dumb and Dumber are up to, but I swear if you–”
“I heard the news, Dana. We were just outside your window…” Dave explained, slightly tweaking the truth. “We wanted to play a stupid scary prank but then I heard it, while you were on the phone you know…”
Dana shook her head and laughed a bit. She hugged her boyfriend and kissed him.
“Yes! I got the job!” she giggled. “Sorry I’ve been so cold lately. The job interview made me so nervous…”
“It’s fine, Dana. You’ve always been stone-cold anyway!” Dave joked, earning a playful slap on his chest by his girlfriend.
“Yes, that’s a very import–wait what’s that smell?” the girl asked, sniffling loudly the air around him.
Tim’s heart almost stopped while Dave did his best to not just laugh like an immature prankster. His hair, clothes, skin, were completely “soaked” in his gassy bro’s gas, so naturally he’d himself smell like flatulence.
“Never mind. It must be you, Dave. He farts like crazy when he’s nervous, Tim, I swear.” she said, disgusted but slightly amused as well.
“Ow… it’s part of my charm, babe.” Dave replied, using what he would have considered an irresistible flirty tone of voice, which was super awkward instead.
“And yeah. Tim’s very aware of my skills, right?” he joked, winking at him, like the big teasing bastard he’s always been since he found out about his fart kink.
Tim just shrugged, faking a disgusted look, his heart racing fast, knowing that all he had to do after that was take the biggest shower in the hope that such unbearable stench didn’t fuse with the atoms in his body.
“Well, it’s gonna be a wild ride!” Dana exulted, happy about her new job offer.
“How about a round of beers to celebrate?” Tim suggested. “It’s on me, no worries.”
“Great idea, but I’m paying. I got the job, you dumb-dumbs get to drink!” Dana replied. She was in a very good mood.
“It’s fine, Dana! It’s the least we can do after-“ but Dave interrupted him.
“Come on Tim, stop living in outdated gender roles and let the pretty girl buy you a drink.” he said, faking a serious tone.
The girlfriend simply rolled her eyes and left the room “Just… meet me downstairs when you’re done saving the world, ok?”
As Dana was nowhere in sight, Dave simply turned to Tim and let another huge, long one rip.
“Shhh. Just tying up some loose ends here.” he said, shushing the gay friend, blasting what was left of his gas out.
“Are you finish-“ “Not yet” he simply said, as if he was making sure no particle of gas was left behind.
With one high pitched final note that was met with some immature laughter, Dave sighed in relief.
“With that said” he chuckled “You might want to take a shower.”
Tim simply nodded with an unamused expression.
“Oh, and you might want to leave the other closet you’ve been hiding.”
That was out of nowhere.
“No pressure bro, just know that we’re all always more than happy to have a beer with you.”
“Thanks Da-“
“Despite your bigoted views on gender roles of course.”
“I’m going to punch you now.”
The duo then headed downstairs and no one got punched luckily.
Tim thought about his friend’s words and how it was probably time to leave that metaphorical stuffy closet soon or later, not that he felt forced or anything.
Dana’s closet, however, that’s probably the only one he enjoyed being trapped into…
End of Episode 9
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watermelonlipstick · 3 years
Text
Back
School has been kicking my ass lately, but I found some time to write this little warm and fuzzy nothing. I’d love any advice or critiques!
Title: Back
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader
Word Count: 1915
Summary: Getting back to find the reader has been waiting for the Winchesters to get home from a hunt, Sam is a little nervous and more than a little happy.
Warnings: mutual pining fluff only!
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           Sam and Dean walked down bunker stairs slowly, their bones aching with the work of the last week. They had changed into clean clothes to drive through the night back to Kansas, but their hands and hair bore the telltale mud and blood of a hunt, and they badly needed to shower. Walking into the library, Sam took his duffel bag off his shoulder and dropped it unceremoniously but quietly.
           Curled up in a chair on the other end of the table, you slept wrapped in a blanket and draped over the old wood. Your hair ground into your folded arms and the huge book you had been reading, and the pressure of your head on your cheek pouched your lips out a touch. Sam brushed his palms on his jeans somewhat fruitlessly in an effort not to dirty your face as he brushed a chunk of hair back from your temple.
           “Hey,” he whispered in a low voice, his hand hovering over your shoulder. “We’re home.”
           You woke with a small jolt, peeking open one eye to look up at Sam. A sleepy smile spread across your eyes as you arched back to stretch. “Hey, handsome,” you answered in the croaky voice of a nap. “How’d it go?”
           “All good, no major injuries. You should be in bed,” he said, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.
           “Carry me?” you asked. The shy smile on your face betrayed you as only half joking.
           Sam chuckled as Dean came over to them. “He smells like sweat and swamp monster ass,” Dean offered.
           “Thanks Dean,” Sam said sarcastically, his voice still low. “He’s right though. Still want me to?”
           You nodded with closed eyes, your contented smile showing through even as you yawned. “Dean, there’s lasagna in the fridge if you want it.” As an aside to Sam you mouthed, “vegetarian.” Sam’s eyes crinkled at the edges as he offered his arms out to you. You got up and put your arms around Sam’s neck, letting him ease you up into his chest. Your calves and socked feet dangled over his forearm.
           “You’re the best,” Dean insisted, gripping an invisible fist of victory. He gathered up the blanket and stacked it on top of your stomach.
           “Don’t stay up too late,” you hummed to Dean while nuzzling your head into the crook of Sam’s neck.
           “I won’t, kid. I promise.” He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek. “Goodnight.”
           Sam nodded to Dean over you, jerking his head toward the kitchen to show he’d meet his brother in a minute. He carried you back to your room and lowered you down onto your bed before spreading the blanket out on top of you.
           “You didn’t need to wait up for us,” Sam said.
           “I know, but I wanted to see you.”
           “Well I won’t lie, it feels a lot more like home to come back to you than an empty bunker,” he smiled.
           “Oh yeah?” you asked with a sly grin.
           “Definitely.”
           “Will you come sleep here?” Your eyebrow crooked up in question. It was loaded, definitely a pretty big step further down the tightrope you and Sam had been walking. But it had felt right to ask, and you fought back the impulse to take it back or turn it into a joke. Sam’s eyebrows lifted in soft, hopeful surprise, and it changed his whole face.
           “I can if you want me to,” he answered, running a hand through his hair. “Are you sure?”
           “Yeah, I think so.” The hesitation in your voice made his pulse race despite his fatigue.
           “Uh, ok, yeah. Just let me eat something and shower and I’ll be here, I promise. Don’t wait up though.”
           You nodded, trying to fight a smile by biting your lip, then pulled the blanket up under your chin and closed your eyes. Sam lingered in the doorframe for a moment, watching the light from the hallway fall on the swells and angles of your body before going to the kitchen with Dean.
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           Dean was already halfway into a plate of lasagna by the time Sam got there and took off his jacket.
           “Dude, she’s outdone herself. This is awesome,” Dean said through the last third of a mouthful before swallowing.
           “Yeah, she’s pretty great, isn’t she?” Sam asked as he walked to the fridge.
           Dean looked up smugly over his fork. “What’s going on with that anyway?”
           Sam closed the microwave door on a plate of lasagna and turned toward Dean. “Uh, I mean, I don’t know. She asked me to sleep with her.” Dean half-choked on a bite, coughing and grabbing at his beer bottle. His brother realized his mistake, making an exasperated face before correcting himself. “Not like that, Jesus. Like literally sleep in her room.” Dean pounded his chest with a closed fist and fought through a hoarse throat.
           “Are you going to?”
           “I mean, yeah. Why, should I not?” Sam’s eyes widened.
           “I don’t know what you should or shouldn’t do, man. Just seems awfully boyfriend-experience to me,” Dean said, his hands up in faux surrender.
           “Well, yeah,” Sam conceded, getting his plate out of the microwave.
           “So you’re her boyfriend?” Dean looked incredulous.
           “Dean, I don’t know,” Sam whined as he sat down across from his brother.
           “Fine, whatever, I’ll leave you alone about it. But know that I’m going to be pissed if things get weird between you two and she leaves. Aside from the extra backup, I can’t go back to Marie Calendar and beef jerky after this.”
           Sam nodded placatingly.  
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           You had dozed off, waking up when some lizard part of your brain realized the light had shifted in the room. Sam filled the doorway in an old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants slung low enough on his hips to expose a little sliver of skin when he walked. The smell of shampoo crossed the room as if being unfurled from his still-damp hair, the clean familiarity of it making your joints relax even further than they had in sleep. He saw the heavy lids of your eyes for the second time that night, and felt a pang of nervous affection.
           “Do you still want me to, ah..?” Sam whispered like a gravel road at dusk.
           You nodded, folding back the comforter next to you. He walked over, messing with the hem of his shirt like a shy teenager before crawling gently into bed. He didn’t know what to do. It felt like the first time he’d ever slow-danced with a girl at some stupid school formal—Mandy Jacobsen, freshman year of high school, wearing a shirt Dean had outgrown but was still too loose to be tucked in properly and his dad’s shoes—not knowing where to put his hands or whether it was better or worse to press against you. You waited a beat before rolling to your back to mirror him.
           “Is this too weird?” you asked.
           “No, no. Sorry, I just—I’m just a little keyed up from the hunt I guess.” Sam cursed himself in his head; you knew they’d driven over 7 hours to get back, it made no sense that he’d still be on an adrenaline rush. He was grateful when you didn’t say anything.
           “Was it gross? When you guys had me look up bunyips I was so glad I didn’t come with on the stomp-around-in-the-swamp job.”
           He chuckled quietly. “You would’ve hated it. We had to change before Dean would even unlock the car.”
           “How’d you get back to the motel to change if he wouldn’t unlock it?”
           “No, like out on the side of the road.”
           “So you and Dean were naked on the side of the road in—where was it?”
           “Stringtown, Oklahoma.”
           “In Stringtown, Oklahoma, and didn’t get arrested?”
           “It’s pretty rural.”
           “Well thank God for that,” you giggled, turning onto your side to face him. “I would’ve had to take that stupid little Volkswagen to come and get you. You’d have needed a double knee replacement by the time we crossed the state line.”
            “Then I’m even more glad.” Sam’s profile was fuzzy in the dark but you could hear his smile. When he turned to face you the tiny amount of ambient light glinted off his teeth. “I missed you,” he added, so quietly you almost couldn’t hear him from inches away.
           “I missed you too,” you breathed.
           Sam shifted to his side and tentatively reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, you should go back to sleep.”
           “Are you going to leave if I do?”
           “Not if you don’t want me to.” His thumb was gentle and callused against your cheek, brushing absentmindedly.
           “I don’t want you to.” You twisted away from him to curl back against his chest. Sam got those same heart-thumping sweaty palms he had with Mandy Jacobsen and hoped you couldn’t feel the thrum of his pulse against you, suddenly aware of how thin the fabric separating you two was. He felt gangly and awkward in his filled-out 32 year old body, and kind of stupid for it; less than an hour ago he’d held you in his arms and he couldn’t even estimate the amount of times his hands had roamed your skin, feeling for broken bones and shards of glass or stitching up a gash. He was trying to remember what the natural thing to do here was when you reached behind to his side and pulled his arm over you, laying his palm out below your sternum and lacing your fingers in his. His hand spanned a wide swath of your torso and made you feel delicate, like something precious. After a moment, Sam let the weight of his arm settle over top of you like a cloak, the pressure soothing and protective.
           You smelled like warm skin, fresh sheets, and the orange blossom soap you loved from the farmer’s market in the next town over. Sam inhaled deeply, nestling his face against your hair and feeling the heat from you and your body-warmed comforter seep into him, so opposite from the freezing bog water he’d been up to his thighs in earlier that day. He was having a hard time coming up with something that would be better than this and thought it might actually be ramping up his nerves, comfortable as it was. Instinctively he pressed his lips to your hair, feeling a jolt in his chest when it made you lean back into him.
           Seems awfully ‘boyfriend-experience’ to me ran through his head and he felt an overwhelming ache. If this was the boyfriend experience, he wanted nothing else in the world. He felt your breath deepen under his palm and the weight of your body began to sink a bit in that telltale way that told him you were falling back asleep. Sam listened for a long minute to the rhythm of it.
           “I love you,” he breathed, just to hear what it sounded like.
           “I love you too, Sam,” you murmured, barely opening your mouth.
           Sam had no time to feel embarrassed you’d heard him, hadn’t been fully asleep, as his chest swelled with helium. He shifted his calf to cover your cold feet and smiled, all to himself, into the darkness. It took him hours to drift off, but he didn’t care. There was no place he’d rather be.
-
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cartoonsaint · 3 years
Note
Mr. Gordon Freeman for the ask game? 👉👈
ooo! i'll answer for both Gordons, but my thoughts about the original are relatively shallow whoops
Canon Gordon Freeman
FAV CANON TRAIT: i see his work w teleportation as a metaphor for his drive :) he WILL go from point A to point B, however it can possibly be done. doesn’t always take into account ”common sense” limitations, which is sort of awesome for science but not for personal health (thank god for the suit). sometimes clever puzzle solving is the answer, but sometimes the most efficient way is to go straight through the goddamn wall.
LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: omg, that he’s in an apocalyptic first-person shooter w zombies? SO not my thing, but somehow i ended up here anyways. mostly i think he deserves a hot shower and cozy pajamas and not to be covered w blood.
FANON PET PEEVE: i’m baffled by characterizations of him that don’t take into account the facts that he is capable of great violence as well as dorky playfulness (the snark idle animation! vent races!). also i have blocked SO many people for being weird about shipping?? like HL2’s freemance thing kinda squicked me out too but damn dudes, come on
Gordos Feetman
FAV CANON TRAIT: he's SO concerned about how he appears to other people while simultaneously being the LEAST SELF-AWARE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, my GOSH. man has no IDEA how to talk to people: comes striding into Black Mesa like he's the one in charge (“move! move, i’m running late”), rude about the kind and friendly Dr. Coolatta, overly familiar w every scientist (even when Bubby flat out tells him to shut the fuck!), when questioned by benrey goes "i'm perfectly okay! i am perfectly healthy, and smart," like that's anything close to what a normal person would say, ever. then the first chance he gets to actually sit down with the Science Team over coffee he goes straight to, "you guys got families? ...what was your childhood like?" hello? 24 hours later he asks "what're your guys' hopes and dreams?" HELLO?? buddy the unspoken social rules... my god. he does not know them
plus his "nobody likes me. nobody likes me! i've dealt with that my whole life." like... aw dude. thank goodness the Science Team is full of weirdos too. they can jive with his off-beat social skills and seem to get that at his heart, Gordon Freeman is just a pretty nice semi-loser who wants to goof off and help take care of the people important to him ;-; ...and who will also commit murder at the slightest suggestion from others that it's fine
LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: i wish he'd been more consistent about joshua! wayne has mentioned retconning the framed picture as just gordon being a nervous fuckin weirdo, but :( on my first watch-through i was like "hm. something about the way gordon tries to shepherd the Science Team with a weirdly optimistic, know-better attitude despite the fact that they all totally ignore him feels familiar..." and then he was like "i have a little kid!" and i went "OH NO WONDER," bc at the time i was also a 27yo spending a lot of time w a small child who preferred not to listen to my somewhat hysterical requests to not Do the Thing.
so like i'm fond of joshua's existence. and i get that trying to fit him into hl2vrai would be difficult but... plz wayne don't kill him. not again D8
FANON PET PEEVE: sometimes artists draw him like he’s 45, which is odd to me, but to be fair his model does make him look terrible for a 27yo. otherwise i wish there was more exploration of how much of a fuckin WEIRDO he is, bc despite being relatively normal compared to the Science Team he’s NOT normal compared to like anyone else. and i‘d love to see more of gordon struggling and benrey having to learn to help, rather than things only going one way. and more of him goofing off, even in awful situations! like i’m fascinated by him messing with the ribs of a dead dude on the ground next to benrey like “ooo i’m gonna touch em haha... u ever been to chili’s” buddy u r NOT normal <3
OK! thank you for asking about the gordons, it is fun to stir up my feelings about these characters and try to synthesize them this way :) anyone interested in my favetrait/leastfavetrait/fanonpetpeeve for other characters can send me an ask if they like. thanks :D <3!
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