I said it before in a previous rant, but I feel like this story needs repeating for no particular reason whatsoever.
my middle school was very small. there was only one class of 18 kids in the entire 6th grade. we had to deal with each other every single day. I only started this school in 6th grade, but some of these kids have known each other since pre-k. so when I joined, I was a stranger, an outcast, someone different. and having undiagnosed autism did not help at all.
one of my classmates was named Jacob. he was the only kid shorter than me. but he was an aggressive bully. every day, he'd grab me, slap me, pull my hair. he'd torment me physically, call me names, the whole shebang. typical bully stuff. there was never a reason for this, other than I was a new kid. I was a faggot. I was a downey. I was a retard. I was a sissy. I was a pussy. I was "the other". I think Jacob somehow knew I was trans and queer about five years before I did, and treated me as you'd expect.
every single day, I'd complain to my teachers and the principal. "Jacob is bullying me. he's hitting me, calling me names, harassing me, even after I tell him to leave me alone". and the responses I got did not help.
"just leave. walk away" gee, thanks. I'd love to. unfortunately I'm stuck in a classroom with him all day. unless you're gonna let me go home early, your advice is worthless.
"stop being a tattletale" and just let him continue to bully me? wow, thanks for being a supportive adult figure in my life...
and I'll never forget what my hardcore conservative catholic principal said to me. "if you don't want him to call you a faggot, then stop being a faggot".
in all of these situations of begging for help, not once did Jacob ever face consequences for his actions. even when I showed them the bruises and horrible notes he gave me. even when the harassment happened right in front of the teachers. the most he would ever receive is "hey, both of you, stop fighting!" even though it was always one sided and I never fought back.
until one day on the bus. he was in the seat behind me, poking my head, slapping me, trying to get my attention. I was already pissed that day, and Jacob was only making things worse. I told him to stop. repeatedly. to just leave me alone. but he didn't.
without thinking about it, I tried to swat away his hands. but I ended up brushing my hand against his face. he interpreted this as a slap. he immediately got off the bus at his stop and ran home crying.
that afternoon, my mom got a phone call saying that I was at risk of being expelled. apparently, Jacob had told his parents that I had beat him up, and his parents called the school.
in the end, because of my accidental unintentional "slap" that I had only done because I was angry and wanted to be left alone and stop being bullied, I was suspended for a week, forced to write a handwritten apology note to Jacob, and fell behind in my classes.
Jacob was never punished. he never faced consequences for his actions. he was always seen as the victim by adults. I was the aggressor since I was mad and complained about being bullied.
soon after this, I attempted suicide. I backed out, thankfully. but I can't stop thinking about how my life almost ended because no one cared about the harassment I faced.
being harassed, and having no one do anything about it, which causes you to get angry until you act a tiny bit irrational and upset, and suddenly you're punished much harder than your attackers ever were and ever will be.
I'm saying this for no reason at all. it totally doesn't apply to any real life situations happening right now on tumblr.
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Do you think Beverly was ever designing something and indirectly took inspiration from the loser's club.
She's working on a 1980's throwback look and for some reason cannot resist putting coke bottle glasses in all her sketches.
She decides to start expanding her range of clothing to include plus sizes as well as regular ones as she vaugely recalls a boy from her youth who'd often complain about a lack of accesible clothes for fat people.
Her clothing is always super soft to avoid skin irratation like Eddie would complain about all the time.
She creates an entire fashion show themed off birds since she had a ton of the rarest ones memorized after Stanley drilled them into her brain.
Her favorite model to work with for three years was an african american male model for the sole reason he reminded her of some one from her past, some one she recalled as being hardworking, smart, and handsome.
And before every show, she'd always give her models and grand speech about how lucky she was to work with them, no matter how nervous she was, becayse she can recall some one from her past who ALWAYS rallied the troops no matter how scared he was.
It's just too bad she couldn't put names or faces to any of these inspirations, because if she could, she'd surely thank them.
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You really just can't unsee it once you see it though, can you?
Sam starts blaming Dean for what he's going to do (work with Ruby) way back in 3.09 because Dean isn't going to be around to be Sam's mommy, which is going to force Sam's hand.
After Dean comes back, Sam actually blames Dean for him working with Ruby by saying Dean wasn't there to protect him (4.04).
Dean repeatedly begs Sam not to work with Ruby and is ignored repeatedly (3.03, 3.04, 3.09, 3.16, 4.01-4.04, 4.12-4.22).
After telling Dean to open up to him and trust him (4.08), Sam calls Dean weak and pathetic for being traumatized by hell and says Dean is holding him back and therefore deserves to be lied to because he can't be of use (4.14) Sam says it's not what he really thinks when they both know it is (and Sam repeats it to other characters in 4.16, and 4.18) and then he admits it's the truth again to Dean's face in 4.21.
Sam accuses Dean of not trusting him enough (4.21).
Bobby blows up at Dean for not supporting Sam enough and calls him a pansy after Sam strangled Dean near unconscious, and tells him family is supposed to make you miserable (4.22).
Dean tries to reach out to Sam and Zachariah and Cas actively prevent him from doing so (Cas only at first) (4.22)
Zachariah (5.01) and Cas (5.02) both tell Dean the apocalypse is his fault because Dean didn't reach Sam in time to stop him from killing Lilith.
Dean says Sam hurt him, Sam is the one Dean depended on the most and Sam hurt him in ways he can't even voice (5.01). Sam apologizes, but then in the very next episode, shoves Dean into a wall for not trusting him like Dean is crazy and irrational when Sam doesn't even trust himself (5.02).
Sam says he thinks they should go their separate ways and is shocked when Dean agrees easily. Dean says that he spends more time worrying about Sam than he does doing the job right and time apart would be good. Sam reiterates that he's sorry and Dean gently says he knows Sam is (5.02).
Cas asks Dean if he's okay even without his brother, and Dean says "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I’ve had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun. It’s funny, you know, I’ve been so chained to my family, but now that I’m alone, hell, I’m happy." (5.03)
Sam says he wants back in. Dean objects, on the basis that he thinks they're stronger apart. Dean says they're each other's weaknesses and it's being used against them (5.04, but the weakness line is repeated from 3.03 and 3.16).
Zachariah pushes Dean into a future 2014 where Dean never met up with Sam again, and as a result, Sam said "Yes" to Lucifer, and billions of people died. All because Dean didn't want to be around Sam after being hurt and never reconnected with him (5.04).
Dean reconnects with Sam (5.04) even though he clearly doesn't want to, because the first case we see them on again, Dean struggles to trust Sam and leaves to go drink alone because he doesn't want to be around Sam (5.05).
Sam says part of the reason he went off with Ruby was to get away from Dean, because Dean is smothering. Dean is the problem in the relationship, because Sam feels inferior compared to him. Dean apologizes for being too smothering (5.05).
What does all of this tell you? Dean can't win. Dean will always be the bad guy in the family. He loves too much, or he isn't loving enough. Sam needs him and Dean wasn't there for him and so Sam went down the wrong path, but also Dean is smothering and Dean being smothering is the reason Sam went down the wrong path. Sam is not a trustworthy person, but Dean doesn't trust him enough. Sam not being trustworthy is Dean's fault. Dean doesn't deserve trust, but Sam deserves Dean's trust no matter what and not giving Sam his trust is the worst possible thing in the entire world and also again makes him smothering. The apocalypse is Dean's fault. Every single thing Sam does every single mistake he might ever make in his life is always at least partly Dean's fault and Dean's responsibility.
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Three's A Crowd (a.k.a: when deuce is jealous of his tsum)
Deuce Spade x Reader
I write reader as female
Masterlist
“Who’s my adorable little Deucey? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Aren’t you a good little boy,” you cooed, nuzzling your face closer to the little tsum tsum in your hands. Ever since the small plush version of your boyfriend descended from the sky and bounded into you, the two of you have been inseparable.
For the past hour, you’ve been cuddling and kissing the little critter like there was no tomorrow and the tsum was soaking up your unrelenting attention like a cheeky little sponge. The little rascal didn’t even want to stop at just receiving your love. Oh no, it seemed perfectly happy leaping up and planting its face on your cheeks, jumping for joy when you’d smile at it and say your thanks
Meanwhile Deuce was sulking beside you, his thoughts were at odds with each other. On the one hand, he gets to see your smile and hear your angelic laughter - a sight and sound that never makes his heart swell with devotion - but on the other, he has to witness you doling out your coveted affection to someone else. He was being third-wheeled on his own date - and by himself no less!
He knows he’s being silly - pouting like a child because you’re doting over a creature less than ten centimetres large. He already had to endure Ace’s smug grin and teasing laughter at his ‘whipped behaviour’ but he can’t help it. He’s been wrapped around your finger for so long that he’s already made a home there.
He knew that if his plush counterpart was anything like him, then there was never enough of you. That you were just so beautiful and loving and breathtaking, that forever with you just felt too short. Your gentle words and soft caresses, your warm kisses and loving embrace, the sweetness that just pours out of everything you do was so enchanting that he was helpless against the force of it all. The love he had back then was so consuming that he thought it couldn’t possibly grow, that it’s mass was simply insurmountable but he was so unbelievably wrong - that was a mere drop compared to the ocean of desire he’s perpetually drowning in, and every day he sinks deeper and deeper. He was a fool to think that once he was yours, that he could be at ease. He should’ve known that every kiss, every touch he shares with you makes him more and more addicted to them, catching him in this vicious cycle that neither of you are planning to stop. So he knows perfectly well firsthand that a few hours with you would not satisfy the navy haired tsum in your grasp.
After all, he knew what he was like back then, when his rightfully atrocious reputation and frightening expression drove people away, when the concept of having someone close like this was a concept as fanciful as his book of fairytales. And now that he had someone to love and cherish, to worship and protect, he swore that he would never be the reason you felt scared or upset or angry. So if he had to deal with his irrational jealousy, he would.
But it was just so hard. For some reason his already aggressive and quick-to-anger tsum was exceptionally rowdy if it was over a centimetre away from your person (and no, he was not going to unpack that and yes, he was ignoring all of the looks his fellow Heartslabyul students and first years were giving him whenever his smaller counterpart would throw a tantrum or be so openly affectionate) so the only way it would behave was if it sat on your shoulder. This meant that he had to deal with an entire academic day of his mini me being nearer to you than him - of it rubbing against your cheek or being carried in your hands or snuggling up against you, you even hand fed it during lunch (you’ve never done that with him and no he most certainly did not splinter the table from how hard he was gripping it) - and he’s pretty sure he’s at his limit.
“Who’s my darling sweetheart?” you continued to coo, petting the tsum on its plush head, “who’s my handsome boy?”
“I am,” Deuce whined, dropping his head onto your shoulder.
You immediately stopped and turned to face him. He could feel his face burning from something other than the heated glare of the tiny thing in your hands but at this point, he was desperate.
“I am,” he repeated, lifting his face and looking up at you with wide, pleading eyes, “so, please. Can you pay attention to me?”
You smiled at him, so lovely and warm, and was about to open your mouth before, to both of your shock, the tsum tsum leaped up and planted a kiss right on your lips before landing back down looking immensely pleased with itself.
You blinked in surprise as Deuce looked ticked, glowering at his tiny counterpart, who just looked smugly back at him.
“You little,” was all you could hear before you felt a gloved hand grip your forearm and draw you forwards and another pushing against the back of your head, and his lips were on you, pressing hard against yours. It took a split second for you to get over your stupefaction and you kissed him back, just as hard, moving your mouth to the rhythm the both of you set. You felt the familiar haze of ecstasy clouding your senses before it was over, much too quick for the both of you.
He smiled at you, and you gave him a red-faced smile back, letting the oxygen once again fill your lungs and your rapid heart rate peter down to normal.
“I’m your boyfriend,” he pouted, “I know this is really silly of me but, but please look at me as well.”
“Oh Deuce,” you sighed affectionately, taking one of his hands and rubbing circles with your thumb on the back of it, “I’m always looking at you. I’m sorry, handsome, I guess I got a bit too caught up looking after the tsum tsum.”
“Don’t apologise,” he said hurriedly, “you were just helping us out. I should’ve said something sooner.”
“But still,” you cut yourself off at his look, “alright. But you have to understand. He’s a little version of my boyfriend - how could I not love him?”
“Yeah, I guess-”
“Almost as much as I love you.”
You - wha - why do you have to be so dangerous to his heart?
And he kisses you again. When the little guy launches itself up to headbut him in the cheek, he expertly catches it in his fist, opening an eye to look at its squirming body and smiles.
I win
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