#that final arc felt very a/c coded

[lonicera-caprifolium]

please consider scoundrel Crowley, and his (modified) commando droid boyfriend AZ-7

[aiden-rahmfai]

There is no Criminal Minds without Reid, Garcia, and Morgan. Like, the other members are extremely important, and I love them. JJ has my whole heart, Elle was peak, and she got even better in her final episodes, absolutely love Prentiss, Hotch is great, his departure definitely impacted the show heavily, anyone who's seen my last few posts knows I'm a proud Gideon stan, Rossi is hilarious, I love all of them.

But Reid, Garcia, and Morgan are truly, in my eyes, the heart of the show. They are such emotionally compelling characters, with such fun energy, and unique roles on the team.

Reid is a genius, but he was also the youngest and most naive of the team at the start of the series, as well as the most empathetic. He's an amazing asset with his eidetic memory, and his extensive knowledge on the symbolism, and literature that resonates with unsubs enough for them to incorporate them into their murders. His passionate info-dumping is so enjoyable to watch, and the best thing about him is that he may be socially awkward, and introverted, and very autistic coded, he still has such a deep understanding towards unsubs with tragic backgrounds. He grew up taking care of his paranoid schizophrenic mom. His dad walked out on them, he was bullied in his adolescence, these cases feel personal for him, and while he doesn't try to save them from appropriate consequence, he sees humanity in them, and reaches out to offer help when he can, even towards the man who tortured him. Tobias beat him, drugged him to the point of killing him before he resuscitated him, forced him to pick one out of a batch of people to die, else they would all die, then was forced to dig his own grave. Even then, he still wanted to help Tobias. He didn't just see a murderer, he saw the kid who was physically and emotionally abused by his religious fanatic father, who turned to drugs to cope with the trauma, and is haunted by his dad after his death. Reid is not just "quirky", he's such a complex character, played so uniquely by Matthew Gray Gubler, i don't think anyone can fill his role, and bring the same vulnerability to an otherwise dorky and eccentric goober.

Garcia is MY FUCKING QUEEN BRO. She's such an amazing take on the "guy in the chair" character. She's colorful, she's silly, she wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's such a great contrast to the work that she does. She has to see absolutely horrific shit everyday, and while the others see it firsthand, she has to sit in this dark, isolated room, dig around the darkest depths of the Internet, watch footage of horrible things being done to people, and she still holds this team together in a way no one else does. Her wit, her sense of humor, and God, I love me a woman who plays nerdy ass mmo RPGs and thirsts over poorly animated 3D knights (The Fisher King arc). In The Fisher King, she's partially the reason for them getting hacked, and her burning regret through the episode is so heartbreaking, cause she so clearly felt like an idiot for playing that game through their room. Yes, it was stupid (even though in my eyes personally, Garcia can never do anything wrong ever) , but to see her so messed up about it through the rest of the arc, skipping the banter with Morgan, freaking out about Elle getting shot, and the praise from Gideon visually taking weight off her shoulders, AEUGHH. WHEN GARCIA IS SAD, I'M SAD TOO. If Criminal Minds isn't the same without Reid, then a Criminal Minds without Garcia is fucking decimated. She's the emotional core of this team. While other characters who fill her role can be snarky, and eccentric, none of them can ever live up to Garcia. She's so openly loving and affectionate, she brings so much optimism despite how horrible it is to work in this field, she's never afraid to show how she really feels, and I love everything about her.

now TRIGGER WARNING, MASSIVE ONE FOR CSA

Morgan leaving Criminal Minds genuinely fucking sucks. I know why he left, he was going to be a leading character in S.W.A.T, but past that episode, I refuse to watch, unless it's an episode where he shows up again. He's probably the most charismatic character on this show, and insanely attractive at that. Not just attractive in the "oh he's so fine" kinda way, but in his mannerisms, how he treats his team, how openly protective he is of the people he loves, and most of all, how he grew from his past. His childhood was absolutely horrible. He grew up in Chicago, living in poverty, and acted out after the death of his father. The only way he was able to get out was through the neighborhood youth center, where he was groomed and sexually abused by its sponsor, who continued his behavior with other young boys after Morgan left to pursue his career. The episode in which we see the neighborhood he grew up in, and meet the struggling kids who are the prime targets for a murderer who's been around since Morgan's childhood, and his confrontation with both a kid who saw him as a borderline legend, and the youth center sponsor who abused the both of them, is soul crushing. The thing I want to elaborate on though is his confrontation with the kid. He's a teenager, and he sees this sponsor as the only way to get out of this neighborhood, and actually have a future, after all, he's the one who cleared Morgan's record so he could join the FBI. Before Morgan confronts the perpetrator, knowing fully that he was their murderer, he goes out of his way to find this kid first, and give him the hope that he needs, and an understanding that no one else showed him. Morgan is such a strong character, and seeing him in tears by the end, standing face to face with this disgusting person who hurt him so badly as a child, and denying him any credit he claimed for how successful he is now was like seeing your older brother cry for the first time. He's someone so reliable, and playful, and so damn charming, but there's a lot more beneath the surface. I love the way he plays off of other characters too, like his dynamic with Garcia being so flirtatious while also purely platonic hilarious. They match each other's freak so hard. He treats Reid like a younger brother, and refers to him as such in his last episode. It's stated by Hotch that there are very few people in the world he trusts, and you can tell that his team are part of those people, he means so much to me, chat.

Again, this isn't to say that the other characters aren't important, but these three have the most unique storylines and roles on this team, that taking them out of the story takes out the majority of its best aspects. Genuinely I will not watch the show when I get to Morgan's last episode, that is the end of the series for me. The rest are bonus episodes

[thisittybittykitty]

Phew! I finally read the first arc myself! No more basing my opinions on MAPs or any of that stuff! And boy do i have a lot to say. Let's start with the man himself. Firestar. Now i want you to note a few things, one, this is gonna be unbearably long, because i ramble a lot about the stuff i'm passionate about. And two, this is only gonna be on the first arc. On second arc, third arc, fourth. No Firestar’s Quest. None of that. Just arc 1 Firestar. Let's start with the questions we should always ask about a character!

'Who is Firestar?' He's an adventurous, curious, strong-willed cat. Brave, conscientious, compassionate, determined. Oblivious and nosy but loyal and understanding. He is the kind of cat that would do what he believes is right even if it's against the Warrior Code. Already, we run into a problem. This argument has been used a 100 times, but it's still kinda valid. Firestar has very few flaws. He literally entered the ThunderClan camp, and got bullied for being a kittypet. Especially by this one warrior named Longtail. Now what does our main character do? A. Ignore him. B. Defend himself calmly. C. Quietly take it. D. Tell Bluestar. E. Jump down and beat him up. Wanna know the best part? Firestar literally won his first ever battle, with no training, or experience. Just pure reflexes and instincts. This meme is literally them.

On one hand, it's good that Firestar defended himself. But violence will make things worse for both parties. That entire scene, for me, felt ridiculous. It didn't make Firestar look strong, just make Longtail look pathetic, and that’s sad.

'What is Firestar's dreams and goals? How is he willing to achieve it? And what is stopping him?'

His dream and goal is to explore and learn and be free, hunt in the wild and run in the wind. The Clan gave him that and gave him another goal to work towards. Being a warrior. Why does he want to be a warrior? What kind of warrior does he want to be? Why not a medicine cat? These questions are...not exactly answered. And then there's the biggest of them all, why did Firestar want to leave at all? Curiosity? Childish impulsiveness? Did he ever miss Smudge or Princess or his kittypet friends? Did he ever miss kittypet life in general with its simplicity and convenience? We have a 'kind-of' answer to that last question. In Fire and Ice, and The Darkest Hour, it tackled how Firestar felt like he's an outcast. Like he didn't belong in the Clan. Princess was able to provide this sense of belonging since...she's his sister. And was also a kittypet. In the Darkest Hour, it talked about how Firestar, he may have missed, and even envied the kittypet life with its simplicity and safety, but also told himself that kittypets would never know the satisfaction of learning warrior skills or fighting alongside his friends. Which is...okay? Everyone is different. Another question i would like to ask is

'What motivates Firestar to do what he does? Why is Firestar the character that he is?'

This is where i'm lost.

You can say that his reasons for doing what he does is because of what he believes is right. Right? Now that can be interesting, when the character isn't right all the time. I'm not sure about that with Firestar. Most of the time, he's right. I say most of the time because, thankfully, there are a few times where Firestar made dumb decisions, as few as they are. Spottedleaf (Enough said) Underestimating Sandstorm and not giving her Tawnypelt. It's not wrong to make a moral compass kind of character. It's just hard to make them interesting. And Firestar is...unfortunately an example of that. Few flaws, few mistakes, little growth. Another thing is that, we don't get much backstory from him. You can say that he was a child when the series started so the backstory is what happened. But i want to know what happened before it. Now, does a character need a backstory? Not really, no. Does Firestar need it? Yes and also no. I'm conflicted if i want him to have one or not. At one hand, i'd appreciate if we got a little story that shows us why he is who he is. But also, i feel like i'm asking for a lot, since characters don't always need a backstory and a reason to be shown or told. Maybe it's more fun when it's up to the fans to interpret it. Maybe that's what the writers were going for? I don't know.

I'll stop here since this is already long. I'll continue it in the future. Just a few things. 1. I'm not a writer. I want to be, but i'm not. I'm just using what i know from videos i watched. 2. It's okay if you like Firestar. I like him too. Just hope there was more done with him. 3. Again, If i got anything wrong or missed anything, please tell me. Anyway, that's all i'll share today. Next topic is gonna be about the relationships Firestar has with everybody. I'll only talk about notable ones though. Toodles!

(edit: i think i should have added this since it is pretty important. But better late than never)

'Did the journey Firestar take in life have any impact? Did he change? Who was he before and who is he now?'

The journey from kittypet to leader was most definitely interesting. Fun fact, Firestar never wanted to be leader in the first place. It's always fun to see characters learn and grow. And Firestar learned, and grew. At the start of his journey, he was ridiculed for something he wasn't able to control. Being born as a kittypet. Even when he became a warrior, that mockery stayed. However, not all of it was negative. He had his friends, his mentors, and apprentices to support him. There was most definitely some hardships. Firestar’s life wasn't easy. He lost a lot of his friends, and experienced horror with the dog pack, and was given responsibility he never asked for. I know that this might be confusing since i sat earlier talking about how Firestar needed this or that, and he does, but that doesn't mean i don't like him. He just, again, feels more like a plot-device than a character. He has his moments, being irrationally afraid of Brambleclaw, being stupidly nosy in Mistyfoot and Stonefur's heritage, being confused on why the Clans always fought for seemingly no reason, being kind to everyone, even to those who he knows dislikes him, helping those from enemy Clans even though it got him in trouble. There's a lot to Firestar and yet little. Which makes me conflicted about him. I always kinda feel like i'm overlooking or missing something, or maybe i'm being too harsh? Maybe i said something contradictory? Someone please tell me if what i said was accurate at all or if i'm making stuff up.

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, welcome to the September round up of all my favorite fics i read this month!!

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

you can find past recs below:

February March April May June July August

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

without further ado, let's go!

Marriage of Inconvenience by FragileTeacup

Word Count: 3563 Summary: When Will Graham hears that Hannibal Lecter has been threatened with deportation, he's far more dismayed than he ever thought he would be. But a flippant suggestion from Brian Zeller gives him an idea...

GREEN CARD FAKE MARRIAGE YES PLEASE.

Nakama by FragileTeacup

Word Count: 55656 Summary: Hannibal Lecter is handsome, clever, rich, Omegan... and quite oblivious to the fact that he is hopelessly in love with his brusque Alpha mentor, Will. Will Graham has always looked out for Hannibal, occasionally despairing of his young protégé's spoiled nature but valuing his companionship just the same. They are the best of friends. But when Hannibal finds himself in the grip of a late first heat, both men are forced to confront feelings which neither are prepared for... Nakama, a Regency A/B/O romance based on Emma by Jane Austen. Featuring beautiful art by the wonderful beatricenius!

I really enjoyed reading this, but also I love omega Hannibal and the angst in this was just *chefs kiss*

Peaches and Cream by The_Gemini_Dragon

Word Count: 5757 Summary: Hannibal picks up one of the jars, turning it over in his hands. He hasn't expected Will to can his own food. He pops the lid open, and knows immediately what it is. A sharp, sweet scent reaches his nose, as well as a whiff of alcohol.He dips his fingers into the jar and brings the peach slice to his mouth.

Drunk Hannibal really scratches an itch in my brain, especially when it leads to excellent sex :))))

Time Reversed by teacupsandtime

Word Count: 25,474 Summary: Hannibal and Will traverse an unexpected intimate development.

Heads up, this is mpreg. But it was very sweet and tender and made me very happy!

Depraved by sourweather

Word Count: 5891 Summary: Will was raised to think that certain things were wrong. Dirty, shameful. Even years later, there are certain lines that he can't seem to cross.For example, he's never been able to handle the idea of anything going in his ass.

y'all wanted to know what some of my most re-read fics are, this is certainly one of them LOL

shame by YouAreMyDesign

Word Count: 3240 Summary: Hannibal smiles, and goes to the contacts in Will's phone. Under the name 'Daddy', his phone has apparently grouped two phone numbers. The first is Hannibal's cell. The second has a Louisiana area code.

*fans self* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha obsessed.

spider by YouAreMyDesign

Word Count: 3991 Summary: Hannibal likes his kills clean. Will likes them messy.

beware the tags, heavy on the "dead dove do not eat" but wow this was beyond enjoyable! felt very in character for them!

Sweet Tooth by HigherMagic

Word Count: 81017 Summary: He has prepared for this, of course. No self-respecting Omega of his stature and skill would deign to let themselves be taken by surprise. Although, again, he has not expected his final heat to approach for some time, it is one of those occurrences people prepare for like Doomsday. He has plans, and bags packed, and knows what he will need to do, to make sure he makes it through the ordeal with minimal discomfort. The first step will be to hunt, to stock his fridge and his stores so he will not go hungry. The second step will be to find a suitable companion.

another one that i've reread several times, whoops.

Look, Mother! The Sheep Have Devoured the Wolves! by HigherMagic

Word Count: 102934 Summary: Hannibal and Bedelia are married, but unable to have children. At Margot's insistence, Hannibal agrees to meet the Omega that was a surrogate for her and Alana. Will is rough-edged, unrefined, and everything Hannibal shouldn't desire. This arrangement promises to be clean, and simple. Of course, nothing concerning Will Graham is ever simple.

THIS WAS SO GOOD. not gonna lie, almost didn't pick it up because of Hannibal being married to Bedelia, but it works!!!

Love in the time of cannibals by ToxicWitchling

Word Count: 69658 Summary: Franklyn has noticed Dr Lecter's favoritism with another patient. It started small; frequent appointments, hushed conversations and light touches. However, Franklyn draws the line at the recent extravagant gifts the Doctor seems to be bestowing on a scruffy fisherman from Wolf Trap. He realizes he may be more interested in the good Doctor than he first knew and begins to find out as much as possible about this Will Graham, if not to stop him toying with the Doctor's affections, then to learn where the attractions lies and steal it for himself.AKA. Franklyn notices Will is a sugar baby before Will does, gets jealous, and wants that lifestyle.

amazing. loved. love.

act on it by acheforhim

Word Count: 9142 Summary: “I work a lot. Don’t really have the time to find an alpha who won’t look down on me for…” “For wanting to be an omega?” “Basically, yeah.” — Will is lonely and his long-distance fuckbuddy encourages him to pursue Hannibal.

AHHH THIS WAS SO FUCKING HOT WHAT THE HELL. I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK TO MAKE SURE I WAS BREATHING.

An Ounce of Wit by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 69420 Summary: “It’s heavier than I expected. Anyways, here.” She walks in front of Will, and in her hands she is holding a long, furry snake. It’s white on the bottom, the top a dirty grey, with dark, blurry rosettes sprinkled along its length. “Where did you get that?” Will asks quietly, his brain rejecting the fact that it feels like a part of him.“It’s attached to your ass, dude. You have a fucking tail.”--AKA a modern magical AU where the entire point is to turn Will Graham into a catboy.

I didn't expect to like catboy Will Graham and then I read this and it was actually really well done!

Wildfire by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4266 Summary: “I’m so sick of this,” Will bites out. “All your bullshit. Whatever this stupid fucking game we’re playing is.” He approaches Hannibal, palms open, showing he is unarmed. “You manipulate me for the better part of a year, send me to prison, and when I finally embrace this ‘inner darkness’ you’re always on about, you know what happens?” He jabs a finger out, pressing it harshly into Hannibal’s chest. “You don’t even have the fucking decency to die.” Will finds himself at a rave, and emerges a person with far less patience than before.

yeah, i have no words. so fucking good.

Still With Me by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4271 Summary: There is, inexplicably, a coat check, which Will uses. He does not pocket the ticket, simply leaves it on a stool near the door, knowing Hannibal will grab it for him. While Hannibal is fast and assured in his movements, this is Will’s territory, and he easily slips a safe distance away with plenty of time to see Hannibal’s entrance. He catches the man in question putting the paper safely away with a small shake of his head, and then he’s looking up, taking in the room around him. A shiver runs down Will’s spine, because he did not realize Hannibal would actually make an effort to blend in. His hair holds no treatment, falling softly across his forehead, and he is dressed in dark grey slacks with a matching black button-up, undone partway down his chest. Most of all, in his eyes, where Will had expected to see some form of rejection, he only sees curiosity.Will turns away, towards the main floor. This point of this was to let go, not dwell on things, and he closes his eyes and lets it happen. Will makes a habit of going out to clubs, and one night Hannibal follows.

hey if you enjoyed my public sex prompt for kinktober, this might be a fun one!

3y3s by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4866 Summary: Pain, bright and wide across his face as Will feels his head jerk to the side. It’s only when he turns back, sees the cold look in Hannibal’s eyes as he pulls his hand back, that he realizes Hannibal has just slapped him. “I will not apologize,” he says, words clipped. “You were out of line.”“Good,” Will grins, an electric energy shooting through his veins, “because I’m not going to apologize for this either.” He lunges forward, uses fists where the other man had used his open hand, and punches Hannibal square in the jaw. Trouble in paradise.

fighting as sex and sex as fighting?? *drools*

let's hate what our love makes us do by hannigramized

Word Count: 22250 Summary: Hannibal Lecter's patient, Franklyn Froideveaux, has been making unwanted advances towards Hannibal. Hannibal enlists the help of Will Graham to get Franklyn to back off. And because he may be kind of in love with Will. Takes place during Season 1, mostly Episodes Sorbet&Fromage

Fake dating is the best kind of dating! I love when they're oblivious and don't realize that they're actually in love.

Single All the Way by venus_in_bloom

Word Count: 34740 Summary: Will Graham has everything; a successful career, a loving father, a stable job. All he is missing is someone to share it with. When his dad insists he brings someone special, all thoughts go to his friend and weekly dinner companion Hannibal Lecter. A plan is hatched when Hannibal proposes that Will introduces him as his partner. Can visiting his roots help Will and Hannibal to finally take the leap and lay some roots of their own? Can Will resist the elusive doctor’s charms? Does he really want to? Inspired by the Netflix movie, Single All the Way!

Fluffy, cozy holiday fic that was actually perfect.

aaaaaand that's a wrap for September!!! have fun babes <3

[lmanburgseulogy]

DISCLAIMER THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE I HAVE A HUGE BIAS FOR LMANBURG!!!!!!!

Okay so everyone PLEASE go read this

It explains why c!eret betrayed l’manburg. very good and accurate def recommend!

I think when it comes to the final control room there’s three main factors you have to consider for c!eret. It’s reason, regret, and redemption.

But I also think it’s important to note the way it effected the victims, because no matter how many reasons eret had for it, it can’t really erase the fact they were killed and betrayed. It sucked very bad.

Eret had many reasons to betray l’manburg, and a lot of them were from dream’s manipulation. That’s something that gets brushed over TONS. I’m not gonna expand on this much bc I put the link at the top but yk.

c!eret seemed very ignorant when it came to the real after effects of the fcr. and that could’ve been out of fear or distraction. This ignorance became apparent to me when she talks about having peace again/ or reuniting the server. I think c!Dream distracted him so much with those goals, to the point where he didn’t even realize the fcr would only split the server more. It’s also not hard to believe she could’ve just been too scared to acknowledge the real consequences, and she would figure it out later. This ignorance made the regret a lot heavier on Eret.

(The regret Eret dealt with is one of my favorite parts about the character hehehehehh)

Immediately after the fcr, Eret appears to not regret it at all. The wars still going and she’s sided with the dsmp. L’manburg bars her out (literally) and she seems pleased. But I honestly don’t think it’s a hard jump to make that the guilt was slowly getting to him. I also think he was realizing the true gravity of it all, how close they were to winning, it could’ve been over if she didn’t betray them. (THAT PART MAKES ME SHAKE MY FIST AT ERET. THEY COULD’VE WON AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NORMAL AGAIN!!!!! but obviously it was too late to back out, dream would’ve killed her lol) But now the wars still going, l’manburg’s not giving up, and all she’s done is killed her best friends. Eret clearly regrets it, it’d be impossible not too.

As the story goes on we see Eret’s regret surface as she goes into her redemption arc. We see Eret realize what she did was horrible, and how the reasons were pointless in the first place because dream didn’t even hold them up. So she begins redeeming herself by acts and apologies.

But here’s the thing

c!Eret did a lot of great things. I mean that so genuinely. she put everything she had into making it up to her old friends. His life became fixing her legacy. To the point where her self esteem crumbled, and began to idolize the people she hurt. She wanted to give her friends justice and closure.

But with things as big as murder, forgiveness can’t be earned. The trauma of the fcr changed their lives so much, they shouldn’t be obligated to forgive Eret. Eret’s redemption is because she wants to fix things, not because he wants forgiveness. And I think she truly tried to understand that. Even if she slips up every now and then.

That’s my very summarized take on c!eret. She’s not a saint, but there’s a lot of things to remember when talking about the fcr. Yeah

Okay now onto how I feel about the fcr room in general as a l’manburg truther because oh my GOSHHHHHHHHH. THEY WERE SO CLOSE GUYS THEY WERE ALMOST WINNING THE WAR. WE ALMOST HAD INDEPENDENCE AND THEY WERE ALL SO EXCITED THEY DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER C!ERET LEADING THEM INTO A DARK HOLE IN THE GROUND WASNT SAFE. AND THEY DIED AND IT EFFECTED THEM FOREVER. DO YOU GUYS EVER THINK ABOUT C!TOMMY’S ANGER TOWARDS C!ERET. BECAUSE THEY LOST ALL THEIR TOOLS AND WERE FORCED TO SURRENDER. BUT TOMMY COULDN’T GIVE UP BECAUSE HE WAS ANGRY AND HIS BROTHER TOLD HIM TO SACRIFICE IT ALL FOR THEIR HOME. AND HE WAS WILLING DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT “your life matters more than the revolution,” AND HOW THAT PROBABLY SOLIDIFIED THEIR TRUST IN WILBUR. ONLY FOR HIM TO DIE IN A ROOM DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE THE FCR!!!!! HOW IT MADE WILBUR SO PARANOID OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT C!FUNDY BEING SO YOUNG IN THE FCR. ARGHHH THEY COULD’VE ALL BEEN HAPPY GUYS.

Counterpoint to the previous ask: ceret knew damn well the lmanbergians would die, he just didn't realize how badly it would affect him

This is a lot more accurate, but to repeat myself once again eret was manipulated by dream. I think their ask was mainly from a headcanon stand point

[stemms]

GHOST – Scapegoat seems very c!Primeboys-coded to me, so here's my interpretation.

At first I felt fine, before I realized In your eyes I'm a demon, right?

The beginning of c!Tommy's experience on the server was fine, he had a nice place to stay at, friends dear to his heart to spend time with, but it all vanished when c!Dream got gradually more and more infatuated with the boy, and planned to remove c!Wilbur from the picture, so that he can take his place in c!Tommy's life.

c!Dream griefing people's property and leaving signs indicating it was c!Tommy, provoking c!Tommy into acting recklessly out of frustration during negotiations, making a fuss about George's house, and manipulating people into believing c!Tommy is the biggest problem of the server and therefore must be exiled.

Without an ending, I'm still pretending Like I attended your funeral today

c!Tommy deeply despises c!Dream for ruining his life (yet still tries to see the good in him), and as the damage is getting more severe throughout c!Tommy's life on the server, the feeling is only getting stronger. He wishes c!Dream were dead, because only then could he really be free.

"Like I attended your funeral today" can also be interpreted as c!Tommy never feeling enough, especially in exile- as no amount of effort is enough, and the more the exile goes on, the more c!Tommy doubts whether he's really a good person.

Overconsumption of your own compassion Put on perfume of iniquity

The balance between the severity, distress, and soreness c!Dream would make c!Tommy go through on a daily basis, and the comfort that would follow right after, as if to pretend it wasn't a big deal and c!Tommy was just being too sensitive. He can't quite figure out whether he'd rather escape this soothing physical touch of the very hands that hurt him moments ago, or cling closer, as if this was his last time seeing c!Dream.

Now, I could never dream of doing anything In such a way like you did to me

c!Tommy's morals simply cannot allow him to treat anyone with the same amount of heartlessness he received, not even c!Dream- that being said, c!Tommy took two c!Dream's lives during the disc war finale, almost took his last one, and attempted to take it again in the prison arc.

So, give me a taste of sovereignty A lantern in the night (Lantern in the night)

Lanterns generally symbolize people letting go of their past selves and getting new ones. So, after c!Dream broke out of prison and regained his power, his pathetic past self that was stuck in prison stayed in the past.

Get me away from history From the cycle's bitter light (Cycle's bitter light) From existing out of spite

c!Tommy falling deeper into Stockholm Syndrome after being taken back by c!Dream. As long as c!Tommy stays by his side, there's no need to justify his very existence to everyone on the server, as c!Dream is the only one who'd always understand, care, and know what's best for him, unlike the rest. :)

Now do you hate me? Are you afraid of me? Are you able to feel culpability?

The breaking point in the exile when c!Tommy became suicidal and got too tired of fighting, and gave into c!Dream's manipulation, starting to believe that he seriously messed up and deserved everything he went through.

Come forth and kill me Bow down and worship me Take your time, all we have is eternity

A vivid portrayal of c!Dream's God complex, as after they both become immortal, he works to make c!Tommy pray and acknowledge him as his only God, in which he soon succeeds, as c!Tommy loses most of his hope and free will and falls even deeper into his Stockholm Syndrome.

"Come forth and kill me" shows that the revival experiments became an established practice to them, so c!Tommy no longer had any hopes of getting away from this and would give in easily, almost without a fight- hoping for the pain to end soon.

Now with a new start Broken and torn apart Nothing in me resembles a human heart

After being killed and revived so many times, c!Tommy couldn't remember when it all began or his past friends' faces, and the stories they shared- he completely lost himself and could only trust c!Dream to tell him what was real, and what was not- which his brother twisted in the ways that would be beneficial for him only.

Something I've never told On my own, I declare "I don't wanna go home"

At first, c!Tommy wasn't really passionate about being immortal with c!Dream and would be seeking opportunities to escape. However, once the training significantly worsened his memory, he started to believe that his past wasn't all that bright, and people for whom he once cared so deeply only ended up hurting him. Soon enough, he realised that he should never go back, his only safe place to stay is here, with c!Dream, until the end of times.

I'll put your fear in my drink tonight, tonight I'm chewing up and spitting out your pride

c!Dream feeling extreme humiliation for his plan failing, and him being stuck in prison, which increased with constant c!Quackity's visits, smoothly moving to the scene of c!Dream chasing c!Tommy after having escaped from the prison.

You got an iron dye where only God'll find

With time, all of c!Tommy's hair had lost its original colour and turned grey. But the most important part was that he'd been affected not only physically, but mentally, unable to leave his God even if he could, stuck in his grip forever.

I took a photo of shame to remember you by True colors make a pretty picture memory

c!Dream reminiscing about the first days of exile, comparing c!Tommy's past self to the new one, looking him up and down, with a proud smile at the work he accomplished.

[technospotatoes]

C!SAM - Redeemable Qualities Analysis (Dream SMP)

Hallo! I’m back with another brain rot post for ya’ll instead of doing my schoolwork :] 

Recently, I’ve been doing some thinking and theorizing with some friends on discord following Quackity’s huge lore stream (if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you watch it). I woke up this morning with a head full of many thoughts about C!Awesamdude and where his story could take us. Seeing as how there is going to be lots of change in the future with the server, there must be changes in these characters as well-- evil to good, good to evil, and the like. With these changes comes my thought: “can these characters be redeemed?” Here are my thoughts on how this applies to C!Sam.

Please let me know your thoughts and theories, I’d love to discuss with you! As always, strap in, it’s gonna be a long one :]

I hope you enjoy!

Author’s note: I want to start this off by saying that all of the contents being discussed are fictional, and are from the Dream SMP universe. I do not support the actions of these characters, but merely have interest in analyzing them through a lens of psychology and for entertainment purposes. Content of this post will contain spoilers up to 3/25/21 of the DSMP lore. I will also talk about ATLA a little bit ;)

Content warning: mentions of torture, manipulation, death, possible psychological trauma

(pls be safe ily)

What makes a redeemable character? 

  Redeemable characters are some of the most pleasing and favored characters in modern media. Their stories are rich with emotion, and they can even evoke some form of catharsis within the most skeptic consumers. Redeemable characters are memorable and inspiring, and without one, a story can feel empty. Before we apply this character trope to the Dream SMP and C!Sam, we need to answer a basic question in order to fully understand the complexity of redeemable characters and how they are so universally significant. 

What is a redeemable character?

  Simply put, a redeeming character or characteristic counteracts or corrects something negative. From a storytelling standpoint, a redeemable character is someone who has roots in good qualities, turns bad, and has the ability to revert their wrong choices to become a better person. 

Examples of redeemed characters in popular media include: 

Zuko - Avatar the Last Airbender

Boromir - Lord of the Rings

Kylo Ren - Star Wars

Severus Snape - Harry Potter 

  Zuko, for example, starts his story off as the villain. He tirelessly hunts down the protagonist, and will stop at nothing to achieve his goal to please his father. However, as the show progresses, we learn that Zuko wasn’t always bad. He was only driven to his path of villainy because of his fear of failure, of his father (the firelord and true antagonist of the show), and of a greater punishment than what he had already received. With the help of his uncle, Zuko learned to push through and accept his past, while also making amends with his wrongs and coming to the realization of who the true enemy was; ultimately choosing peace and unity over destruction and fear.    Zuko’s story is so appealing because it was drawn out. It was raw, it was real, and it was a genuine telling of how damaged people can heal, change, and come to accept themselves. Because he went through the process of redemption, he was not only able to be loved by those around him, but also by his audience-- And I believe that this can be the same case with any redeemable character. 

So how does this relate to C!Sam? How could he possibly be redeemable if he is not evil?

  C!Sam has become increasingly interesting to me in the DSMP lore, and he has shown how complex his character is-- in contrast to many first impressions that people have of him. Based upon his actions from the past, and his willingness to remain neutral in times of conflict, we can conclude that he sustains both “neutral good” and “lawful neutral/good” qualities. This means that Sam is a reliable character, driven by his own personal values, and is devoted to helping others (when he sees fit). Evidence of these qualities emerge…

When he sided with Pogtopia during the Manberg War to maintain good relations with Tommy and Tubbo. 

When he saved Hannah from the Egg

Created Sam Nook to assist Tommy in building his hotel

Built Pandora’s Vault for Dream

Showed concern for Ranboo after one of his denied prison visits

  Sam’s moral code is deeply rooted with good intentions; he keeps an eye out for his friends, maintains his relationships, assists in builds/projects, and also serves as a “stable adult figure” for some of the younger members of the server. In contrast to his logical outward appearance, C!Sam lets his emotions drive his decision making-- which can lead to many severe consequences depending on how he acts. However, recently Sam’s actions indicate that he is experiencing a flip in morals. 

Below are incidents that have led to C!Sam’s recent change in moral code. 

Incident 1: Trapped with the Egg

  Many weeks ago, during the height of character involvement with the Egg lore, C!Sam was lured into a trap by BBH and Antfrost. He spent about a day trapped in close contact with the Egg, and after he was saved by Puffy and Tommy, he was clearly changed. It is likely that the Egg is behind these sudden changes in character motivation for Sam… similarly to how it corrupted BBH, Ant, and Punz. Whether this is the case with Sam is unclear. 

Incident 2: Tommy’s death

  C!Sam and C!Tommy’s relationship within the DSMP lore is one of my favorite things to talk about. After his victory over the disk war and finally landing his nemesis in prison, Tommy was left empty, without much to do. He decided to take upon a new project to incite a new era of peace, and was able to enlist the help of Sam with building his hotel. Throughout this process (and under the watchful eye of Sam Nook), Tommy and Sam were able to develop a bond with each other through their work, along with their interactions at the Prison. 

  Sam has made it clear that he intends to defend Tommy no matter what-- but after his untimely death at the hands of C!Dream, Sam was deeply wounded. He felt as if he failed his promise to keep Tommy safe, and he made it clear that the blame for the “security issue” and C!Tommy’s death should be placed fully on him. No matter how selfless and responsible this makes his character appear, this event will only serve as the basis for severe consequences in moral change in the future. 

Incident 3: Confrontation with Quackity

  Following the large emotional impact of Tommy’s death, C!Sam is very vulnerable, because he is still within the stages of grief. C!Quackity came to Sam for a partnership, to take advantage of Sam while he was low to gain the upper hand. It’s no question that Q’s character is a talented manipulator, we can see that clearly in his interaction with Sam. Q restates again and again that Sam failed, further cementing Sam’s existing guilt and desire for revenge for his failure. Sam gives in to the manipulation, and somewhat reluctantly allows Quackity to torture Dream to get information and to get payback for what he did to Tommy... which completely goes against what his responsibility of Warden entails. 

  As Warden, C!Sam is supposed to uphold the law and rules of visitation, but because of his leniency with Quackity (in breaking the rules) and because he is still emotionally raw, he no longer defends good from evil, but is now biased against it. C!Sam probably wants Dream dead, but as Warden, his opinion shouldn’t matter. Because Sam fully blames himself for failing Tommy, he's lost the "lawful good" in his character, meaning Warden Sam (as a set of morals) truly doesn't exist anymore.

Incident 4: Ponk’s mistake

  To recap a stream briefly, Ponk did a prank on Sam a couple days ago, and stole a few of the expired keycards to Pandora’s Vault. Rightfully, Sam was very angry, and not only took back the keycards, but also imprisoned Ponk. However, where this interaction should have ended, C!Sam only took it to the extreme. (TW!!!!) Out of anger and frustration, C!Sam tortured Ponk for his wrongdoing by setting him on fire, and amputating his arm (END TW!!!). 

  This only proves my point from Incident 3. Warden Sam is fading, only bits and pieces of his morally neutral character remain within him for basic tasks. His encounter with Quackity had a huge impact on his psyche, not only is he allowing the torture of the prison occupants, but he is doing it himself as well. C!Sam is now starting to believe that pain and torture are the only solutions for punishment, which is the complete opposite of what he believed before Dream was imprisoned. 

In short...

  C!Sam is losing his grip on moral and mental stability because of his emotional insecurity due to his psychological trauma. Because of this, I believe that it is entirely possible for Sam’s character to explore the route of evil and unlawful values-- which furthers the possibility for a redemption arc. Even currently, Sam is eligible for redemption as well.

  If C!Sam is willing to acknowledge his wrongs from today and improve himself upon them, he will likely become a more memorable, lovable, and even more human character than we’ve seen in the SMP before. 

SIDENOTE!

IRL Sam recently posted in his discord talking about his character. Here are a few key things to keep in mind as the story goes forward: 

“There is a LOT of things in the plan for me as a character and a very big change is coming about for me as the story moves along.”

I believe this change could be a villain arc, or a turn towards evil that incites the possibility for redemption. 

“My character is playing a role that I think is VITAL for the server and a role that I like to think was a good one for me to pick up and accept.”

You can read the reddit post I referenced for this here (ty to my friend on discord for providing me with the link <3)

TYSM FOR READING!! <3 <3 <3

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Hey, I’m here once again with the ranting (if you don’t mind)! I just finished playing Yakuza 5 and damn I have a lot of feels I want to share. When I was first introduced to the franchise, I thought that nothing could beat Zero for me, but here I am now, holding back my tears and thinking what a fine game 5 turned out to be! I really loved the bonds that characters formed along the way, it just felt so sincere and warm that my heart throbbed nearly at every dialogue Х) Like Saejima/Baba, Mirei/Haruka (and Akiyama too!), Shinada/Takasugi were absolutely delightful. And don’t get me started on the ending scene with Kiryu and his daughter. I fucking lost it there. So damn emotional and pure. And while I adore Zero for its majestic tragedy and fatalism, I also love the kind and inspiring atmosphere of 5. Of course, there were some flaws, like I didn’t find the main antagonist all that interesting (especially after Ryuji and Mine), but in the end I was ready to overlook it just because the heartwarming scenes between the characters were so well done. So yeah, for me it’s top tier along with Zero. What’s your personal opinion on the game (and your favorites in the series in general)?

Congrats! Oooooh, Game 5. I’ve got a lot of feels about Game 5 too ^^; It’s a real fav c: There’s an awful lot I love about it, but there’s one or two things that really stick in my craw. I’m not sure I could put it up with Zero, but it’s definitely a game I treasure c: 

I find it interesting that your interpret Zero as fatalistic and 5 as inspiring. Zero definitely has a lot of high-key tragedy, but I think the fact that we come through the other side, that Kiryu doesn’t go into the ground with Tachibana, that Majima decides that even though he could be happy with Makoto, it isn’t what he wants, I find that really powerful and even hopeful. Not inspiring perhaps, the choices we all make in that game are crushingly hard and frequently we’re punished for things that aren’t our fault. But seeing Kiryu confront his potential for the first time and, perhaps for the last time, deciding he’s not afraid of it, that this is a mantle he can carry and do good with, really does things for me. And I’ve gone on at length before about how we ought to read Majima’s choice at the end as not sacrificial, not denial, but rather a choice of identity. What stopped him from going with Makoto isn’t fear for what it would do to her (though certainly those protective instincts are still alive and well), but rather a... with nothing holding him back, he would still choose the life he started. He could leave it all right here but... there are things he wants to do, not has to do, wants to do. And he makes the choice to be yakuza, to be the Mad Dog, crucially, before he sees Kiryu. He could leave it all behind, but then he wouldn’t be himself. He wants to be yakuza. And he couldn’t do that if he was with her. I think that’s really cool and really life-affirming. 

Meanwhile 5... it’s hard for me to articulate what 5 is about because we have a bunch of different character arcs, some of which mesh quite nicely and some of which have nothing at all to do with each other. It’s probably best if I just break this down piece by piece ^^;

(spoilers follow for game 5 my little chili babies)

Kiryu’s arc, as I have articulated before, I fucking love in game 5. However, I do have my criticisms of it. In many ways, the conflict we’re facing in 5 is something that should have come up awhile back. But, even delayed, it is satisfying. It is satisfying to force Kiryu to confront his mistakes. It is satisfying to at least reach a turn on Kiryu, to have him decide that he wants to live and does feel worthy, even if it’s at the last possible second. Like, I interpret 5 as much more fatalistic because Kiryu’s dying in the snow in the middle of saying how he wants to come home to his daughter. Like... he may have finally gotten his revelation, but he was already in the middle of repeating the cycle. What would have been truly satisfying was to force him to live, to insist that he grow up and learn how to live with people because dying won’t fix it. This is a problem we’ve had since the beginning and have never really addressed. This was our chance to address it and it breaks my heart that game 5 comes so close and was going the right direction, but doesn’t quite give us that resolution that Kiryu’s going to continue his relationships and be okay now, that he isn’t going to back out this time. And if the creators had been brave they would have ended the fucking series here with that resolution. That’s SO OBVIOUSLY the main conflict in Kiryu’s plot and here, at last, we were finally fucking dealing with it and this SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END. THIS WAS IT. THE ACTUAL FUCKING END, I- *breathes* Let me not derail this entire thing with game 6. Let’s just... never talk about game 6. 

That said... one of the things I ADORE about game 5 is this is the clearest sense of motivation we’ve had since Kiwami 1. For the first time in FUCKING FOREVER character choices made sense! HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH. I CANNOT TELL YOU what it did to me that it was Majima that got Kiryu into the game. I cannot tell you the breath of life it gave me, after all this fucking BULLSHIT, that the game came FUCKING HOME on the most important person to Kiryu is Majima. Daigo needs help? Kiryu can’t help. Haruka needs her dad? Kiryu can’t help. These are both mistakes, don’t get me wrong! Absolutely terrible decisions, but they make sense out of Kiryu’s depression, out of his fears and doubts and feelings of unworthiness, his guilt. He’s so caught up in “better off without me” and so scared and so guilty, he can’t answer people even when they ask for help. But Majima. He can’t turn away from. He hears Majima’s dead and Kiryu loses his goddamn mind. Because it’s his fault. Because he wasn’t there. Because he left him out there and now Majima’s dead. Kiryu asked him to do something and, for all Kiryu knows, Majima’s dead because of him. And... as much as Kiryu hates himself in this moment, as much as Kiryu is sure that it’s all his fault, he’s SO upset, he has to go help, he HAS to go fix it. Majima’s dead and with his last breath, Kiryu will make this fuckign right. He’s gotta try. Because Majima being dead is... unacceptable. He can’t handle it. I fucking love that. At long last, it felt like the same story I’d been watching from 1. At long fucking last, we got some fucking proof of Kiryu’s feelings. And for that alone, I love game 5. I’ve got some issues with it, but that was... vindication. Spent 3 games waffling and pretending we didn’t know him unless we’re literally in the same scene, but even Kiryu’s denial isn’t that strong. Majima’s dead and Kiryu can’t anymore. He’s gonna go there and, god help him, he’ll go into the ground with him. You look at that and tell me it was un-fucking-requited. 

On that note, I just gotta gush for a second about that scene where the girl is naked in Kiryu’s apartment and Kiryu just ???? He’s not even “no thank you” he’s like PAINED. Like... she hugs him and Kiryu looks like he’s being fucking tortured! That is not the reaction of someone with even an iota of attraction to feminine bodies! This gay icon! Like, if you’d done that to Majima he would have been like “You’re pretty, babe, but I am Emotionally Unavailable” like the bi icon he is, like... you may not take her up on it, but you can still appreciate her or at least turn her down gracefully. But Kiryu out here doing his best to touch her as little as humanly fucking possible like’ he’s TERRIFIED. That’s not someone being overly polite, that was “cannot conceive of being attracted to this.” Just... this gay fucking dad. Holy christ. 

Related GOTTA love Kiryu’s boss being “Hey, there’s a rumor going around that you’re gay! Any thoughts?” and Kiryu just “That Is A Thing People Ask Me” which is the EXACT RESPONSE of a queer person who doesn’t want to out themselves but also doesn’t want to lie. Game 5 fucking iconic for those 2 scenes alone, god bless. 

Moving away from Kiryu for a second, although this game is VERY about Kiryu’s story, let’s talk about Saejima! Saejima FINALLY gets to come into his own as a character, we get to handle him properly as a character and not as a crux in Majima’s character development. I love the marked differences in how Kiryu and Saejima respond to Majima and handle him. I love that they fucking NAILED motivation here. That Kiryu and Majima mutually code romantic, that they both make batshit decisions because of each other, in that way that you do when you’re madly in love with someone. Meanwhile, Saejima loves his brother but isn’t in love with him. Saejima’s relationship with Majima is stable and trusting. He’s not losing his mind over Majima’s death because he trust him and knows him. If he’s dead, Saejima trusts that Majima did all he could and it was just his time. That’s why he’s not losing his mind, he’s resolved. He just wants to know what happened. And it’s this stability that really tells us who Saejima is and how he functions as a protag. His strength is his trust in others, which at times IS naive, but it’s also what turns Baba. It’s what keeps Saejima strong when Kiryu’s falling apart. It’s so cool to see a character who isn’t paranoid, who isn’t tore up with guilt, in this series with very complicated leads. Saejima is functional and necessary because he isn’t any of those things. He doesn’t get swept up in big emotional turmoil. He cuts through a lot of foibles that would have tripped up his brother or Kiryu and it’s just really refreshing to see and exciting to experience Saejima’s brand of problem solving. He’s not terribly clever and he’s not subtle, but he’s honest and sure that counts for A LOT in this series. Gotta love Saejima. 

And, as I have gushed about before and will again, Baba. Baba. Saejima turning Baba hand me fucking ascending. Baba Known Whore Shigecki turning on a time because Saejima screams “Because we’re kyoudai!” I am LIVING. I love their relationship. I love that Baba’s a little shit. I love that he’s inexplicably a supermodel. I love that his constant vibe is “would like to choke til he cries on Saejima’s dick.” I love that Saejima has a gorgeous prison boyfriend. Well deserved! I love the idea of Baba getting integrated into the group. I need WAY more fic about him coming back to live with Saejima in Kamurocho and Saejima just has an ex-assassin boyfriend now and we all get to live with that. Ugggghhhh, bless. So good. No notes, no criticisms, just good.

Haruka was LONG overdue to be a protag, I’m so glad this game did it. But... pop idol? The thing she explicitly said in Kiwami 2 she didn’t want to be? *siiiigh* Like, I get that she can change her mind as she grows up and that that’s the Thing You Do with Japanese teenage girls, but... Imagine Martial Artist Haruka! Raised by the yakuza, surrounded her whole life by people with incredible fighting skills, who would gladly teach her self-defense. Imagine! Or even training her to become a yakuza! My wife and I joke about Seventh Chairman Sawamura Haruka, but imagine how satisfying that would have been! A whole Tojo dynasty of Kiryu’s kids! She’s so ripe for it! And I know the yakuza is a male-only organization but... c’mon, this is fiction and sexism is boring. I guess I can understand the creators unwillingness to depict violence against women, even if it’s being perpetrated by other women but uh... *eye twitch* game 5 is maybe not the BEST example of their... respecting women... 

*screams into a pillow for several minutes* *breathes* *screams for another fifteen minutes* Okay... I uh... I um... can’t talk about Mirei Park without having an aneurysm. PLEASE skip this bullet point if you don’t want to read Mirei Hate. I just... I Hate Everything About Her And I Don’t Know Why She Fucking Exists. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade and if you like Mirei, y’all welcome to feel how you feel but... she is the only thing I truly Hate about game 5. I just... leaving aside my personal feelings about the... Majima part of her story which we just... Won’t talk about... Leaving that aside... I don’t know why she’s here? She’s the person who convinces Kiryu to leave his children. She’s predatory, she took advantage of a vulnerable young girl to live out some personal dream? Like, sure, economic opportunity, independence, but we don’t get a lot of motive from Haruka that it IS her dream to be a pop idol. She has said in the past that’s not what she wants, she makes mention of doing this for the money to support her family, Mirei LITERALLY SAYS she wants Haruka to do the things she couldn’t, and ultimately Haruka asides not to do this anyway because she’d ratehr be home with her dad! So what was the FUCKING POINT of Mirei Park? Is she a villain? Is she sympathetic? What the fuck was I supposed to take from her? How the fuck am I supposed to read her? She tells this TRAUMATIC story off-hand to Haruka to... justify her decisions? Motivate Haruka? Dragging in another long-term character for no good reason and reframing how we have to think about said character. But then THIS NEVER COMES UP AGAIN. The information wasn’t even important! It’s just traumatic! If it was supposed to keep Haruka doing the pop idol thing, it didn’t work! Haruka still leaves! If this was meant to deepen our relationship to Mirei or complicate her or whatever, IT DOESN’T, SHE WAS LITERALLY DEAD THE NEXT SCENE. I just... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?! What even the fuck was I supposed to do with any of this?! Leaving ASIDE my VERY intense feelings about what this did for Majima (for the sake of not going ogg Even More than I already am, I just won’t talk abotu it here), I just have no goddamn clue what the point of Mirei even was. She’s not useful to Haruka’s arc and she only serves in Kiryu’s arc to be a villain. We could have had Haruka leave home and decide in the end that Kiryu’s her dad and that’s where she wants to be a MILLION different ways, we could have done that MUCH more kindly and consistently with the rest of her character and values, but we don’t! We have this shitmess instead!

I’m really really sorry to anyone reading this who likes Mirei. You don’t have to agree with me! And I’m not trying to make you feel bad! I’m not trying to tell people how they should feel or what they should get out of the story. If you got something out of her, you related to her, you found her part in the story meaningful, that’s great! I’m genuinely glad that you did. I... didn’t. I have a lot of negative opinions about what happened. Usually I try to just not talk about it because I don’t want to ruin someone’s good time. I’m not here trying to start shit. So I apologize for my tone and I did try to put a warning before it and recommend it be skipped if it’s the sort of thing that would offend you. My Mirei rant is over now, I won’t talk about it again.

I have absolutely no idea why Akiyama is in this story, tbh? He contributed very little, but I’m glad Haruka got to hang out with someone cool and that one of her uncles was here watching out for her, since Majima was “dead” and Kiryu was in the middle of a personal crisis ^^; I love Akiyama, always happy to see him, but he really had nothing to do here ^^; I was sad for no Hana though 8C Wherever there is Akiyama, there must also be Hana!

Shinada... is adorable and actively injured the plot. I’m sorry, I just... no one ever talks about the fact that including Shinada in the story actively hurt it. I love him too! He’s an incredible idiot and very sweet, but why the fuck is he here? What did an ancient baseball cover up have to do with anything? This was the only way you could think of to put Daigo in the game again? Really??? And Daigo doesn’t even do very much here! So like... not really worth it. You could have had a whole substory of Daigo finding out what happened to Majima, fuck DAIGO COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE PROTAGS. THERE’S A THOUGHT. We could have utilized, y’know, characters we already have, but no, instead we introduce this dumb fuck to do... what exactly? Oh right, beat up Baba AFTER HE HAD ALREADY DECIDED NOT TO SHOOT HARUKA! Like, YOU DIDN’T EVEN NEED SHINADA FOR THE THING YOU NEEDED HIM FOR. Saejima and Kiryu were enough of an influence on Baba to stop him! And that makes sense out of Baba’s character arc, since it’s about personal redemption and learning to be a person and his faith and love of Saejima, y’know, the character he actually HAS a relationship with, is about that. The point of Baba was him learning it WAS his choice and him MAKING that choice. See, I can’t argue that Baba’s superfluous to the plot, but he WAS the threat! He was actively involved and he’s what makes Saejima involved. Shinada doesn’t occupy the same space, he has no horse in this race, he’s not yakuza, he’s only here because he and Daigo kinda like each other or whatever, and, again, HE WASN’T EVEN NEEDED! Baba’s arc was complete and the threat was terminated without this shit! Like, Akiyama has no reason to be here either, but at least he was a true neutral, neither helping nor harming the plot. We actively waste time to bring Shinada in and he hurts Baba’s arc by overly punishing him and potentially risking the decision he just made. Like if I was Baba, I might have gone “you know what, fuck you, I will shoot her just because your self-righteous ass decided to hit me for MAKING THE RIGHT CALL” Jesus... 

I hate to be nothing but a curmudgeon but just... no one brings that up and I just had to say it if no one else was gonna. 

As for villains, the game would have been a lot stronger without the “thwarted destiny, I should be on the throne” bullshit especially since the story has done a SHIT JOB with the legacy of Nishiki and in NO WAY utilized the fucking koi or the burden of Nishiki’s death properly for this to hit the way it should. It makes theoretical sense that Kriyu’s last villain should be the reincarnation of Nishiki, but the story did not build that up or support it so it falls really flat. That said, the main problem in Kiryu’s arc is that dying is not a resolution. Dying doesn’t fix a problem, it only delays it. THAT’S the thing we have to confront and we almost nearly do and... I’m just so excited that we finally articulated that, I’m willing to forgive A LOT. 

And finally we wrote Majima entirely out of the game only to confirm that his only reason for living is Kiryu and then, again, didn’t resolve it because, y’know, fuck ending things, I guess? But he did have that sweet fight with Saejima and can do shadow clones now I guess? Fucking ninja magic or whatever. Sure, Majima’s so OP he can do fucking shadow clones now. No, teleporting wasn’t enough, he can fucking shadow clone. That’s like a staisfying story arc right? ...right?

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Out of My League (Midoriya Izuku X Reader X Bakugou Katsuki) PART 4

PART 4 to PART 3: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/189764193989/out-of-my-league-midoriya-izuku-x-reader-x

Taglist: @dailyojiromashirao​, @asja-the-hoarder​, @breezy-chan11414​, @captainw0lfy, @sunflowergem​, @lenkiryuu

Summary: Izuku and Bakugo attempt to make you feel better after the video of you goes viral and humiliates you. 

What could a guy like me ever really offer? She's perfect as she can be Why should I even bother?

'Cause she's so high High above me She's so lovely She's so high Like Cleopatra Joan of Arc or Aphrodite... She's so high High above me...

‘She’s So High’- Tal Bachman

A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO…

You didn’t know what was going on though, you just ran to your house, threw your bags to the ground and flipped your shoes off and threw yourself into bed to sob, tears freely streaming down your hot, sweaty face as you cried so hard that no sound came out.

You weren’t going to the dance… you couldn’t…

NOW…

You were just sitting in your bed, remote in your hand alongside your favorite snacks with a dull look on your face. Somehow you mustered up the strength to get your favorite snacks like Oreos and (O/F/S) only to crawl back into bed so you could watch a marathon of Friends, Game of Thrones and even one of your favorite movies.

Of course you had the strength to get snacks, after all, now you were just the Fat Girl from that video that had just been uploaded of you a couple of hours ago and went viral. You didn’t dare look at the comments but you could practically hear the rest of the world laughing at you.

Might as well spend the rest of your life inside your house, stockpile all the junk foods and drinks you liked so you could just watch TV. That was kinda something you had planned on your list anyway should being a hero not work out.

You ignored all the calls and text messages you were getting on your phone, at least until the credits from Game of Thrones played after you saw Ned Stark get his head cut off. Picking up your phone you looked over at the messages and got like 40 different texts and your (E/C) eyes widened slightly.

That was officially the biggest number of text messages you had ever received in your life and it shocked you, and then there was like 10 missed calls.

Aww… of course they were from Izuku and Hagakure. Some from Bakugo too… and Yaoyorozu for that matter. It made sense that Izuku, Hagakure and Yaoyorozu wanted to call you, Bakugo was a surprise…

The text messages were from nearly all your classmates, but especially Izuku, Hagakure, Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Kirishima and Iida.

‘Please don’t feel too bad (Y/N).’

‘Don’t listen to those jerks! Really! They’re just jealous!’

‘(L/N) please come back to the dorms, we all want to talk to you.’

‘It’s okay (Y/N)! It really wasn’t that bad!’

‘Those a-holes are just a-holes trying to get attention! Don’t let them bring you down (L/N), you’re awesome!’

‘(L/N) I would like it if you were to return to the dorms because frankly we need a discussion and I promise as your class rep that I will do everything I can to protect you from getting harassed.’

You heavily sighed at all of these messages, as much as it touched your heart, there was just no way you could return to see them all. You couldn’t face them after that video showed off just how much of a gross, fat, ugly pig you really were. Who were you kidding trying to feel beautiful for a change? Obviously, you weren’t, so you blamed nobody but yourself for this.

And you groaned when you got yet another call, not from Izuku, but from Bakugo. Which was shocking because he hasn’t called you in over 9 years. Come to think of it, why did you even still have his number? And why did he even still have YOUR number? Wasn’t he the one who always said how gross you were? Unless he’s so entitled that only HE can call you gross?

Typical…

You ended the call the more you thought about it. It was going to piss him off of course, but at this point you just wanted to watch the Season 1 finale of Game of Thrones and then watch (Y/F/M). And you weren’t surprised when you got yet another phone call from Bakugo, which you again, ignored.

 ‘DON’T FUCKING HANG UP MY CALLS SHITTY GIRL!’

Then came the text you couldn’t ignore after his calls failed to reach you, and then you sighed in annoyance. Clearly nobody was going to stop bothering you unless you answered them, so you put in a group-messaging text to everyone.

‘I’m not going back to the dorms and I’m not going back to school.’

You almost felt bad for texting them all of that but you refused to face them all after that, and you definitely weren’t going back to school. Hell, this alone was probably going to make the school look bad given that someone was bound to recognize your face from the Sports Festival since you made it somewhat high enough. Well, actually now you remembered it all. That’s where you knew Shinsou from…

You were on his team in the cavalry race with Aoyama and Ojiro, except for some reason he didn’t brainwash you like he did the other two. So that’s why you remembered him, you didn’t speak much that time, but now you knew each other a little better.

Damn… no someone was going to notice you and you were going to make the school look bad…

Sighing you lied your head back down onto the pillow as you listened to the opening theme song of Game of Thrones and hummed along with it.

Yeah, this was peaceful. This was where you belonged, not with your super cool and attractive friends. And not with Izuku, or Bakugo for that mattered. You were never really as good as they were, no matter how hard you tried you could never get on their level. Not just in terms of power but in overall demeanor, you weren’t society’s idea of beautiful, and you weren’t hero society’s idea of strong enough because you weren’t going to conform to their idea of beautiful because apparently all the heroines needed to be sexy.

That wasn’t you.

You sighed as you looked at the pictures you had taken of yourself, how ‘sexy’ you looked and ‘cool’ you thought you were being the whole time.

“That’s not me.”

Shaking your head, you put your phone down, even though at the same time you remembered what some of your friends said to you.

“I think you look very powerful (L/N).”

“YES! You ARE. You’re pretty (Y/N)! And you’re gonna show everyone!”

“That’s awesome! Now all seven of us can go to the dance feeling good!”

“If there’s… anyone who can take care of yourself… it’s you (Y/N).”

Aoyama, Hagakure, Ashido, Izuku…

Kind souls, and then the other girls, especially Yaoyorozu, were so kind to you. They weren’t like the other girls who mocked you for your shape, eating habits and taste in fashion. You felt so bad for just leaving them but… how could you return? Even though their words and encouragement made you feel good, you liked how it felt. You liked feeling powerful and pretty like Aoyama and Hagakure said you were, and how Ashido and Yaoyorozu included you with the other girls for when you attend the dance.

And Izuku, he never once patronized you, he seemed to believe that you were good enough, of course you knew deep down that you didn’t need to have him think you were good enough for him, but still… it was nice knowing that he saw something in you that you couldn’t see for yourself.

It was nice… but… right now you were still sad, and wanted to be sad for a little while longer.

But then your phone blared up again and it wasn’t Bakugo again, instead it was Izuku. God you wanted to talk to him just so you wouldn’t feel like a jerk about not answering but you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him either. So you didn’t answer him, and instead just let your phone ring and give you everyone’s texts that you didn’t answer.

THE NEXT DAY...

Getting up to go to school was the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life thus far, today specifically because the video was still popular and people were still laughing about it. So you left your house and walked into school with an oversized hoodie to cover yourself up, not just your face, but your body so none of the girls could make fun of you.

Somehow, entering the dorms once again was even harder than coming to school, because many of your classmates jumped to see a ‘mysterious figure’ come in.

“Hey! Who are you this isn’t your-“Kaminari at first thought you were someone else until Sero nudged him and whispered, ‘It’s (L/N)’ and he stopped with an awkward ‘oh’.

“(L/N)!”

“Are you okay?!”

“You didn’t answer any of our messages!”

Several of your classmates, particularly the girls and Bakugo’s crew kinda came over to see if you were okay but all you did was keep your hoodie around you so they didn’t have to look at you. “Classmates, please don’t crowd her, I’m certain it’s the last thing she wants.” Iida came to the rescue, but you knew he was going to remark on what you were wearing.

“Now (L/N)… I understand you must not be in the best of moods but… why are you wearing that? It’s not part of the school dress code.” He was gentler about it, but you weren’t really planning on listening to him should he tell you to take it off.

“To be candid Iida, I’m gross and fat and my body’s disgusting.” You replied to him softly, eyes downcast as he gave you a look of sympathy. He didn’t know what kind of deviant posted that video but he wished he did so he could deal with them himself for humiliating his dear classmate like that.

“(L/N)… is it because of the video? Please don’t let that kind of juvenile thing get to you.” He tried to remain gentle, because he didn’t like seeing you like this, but underestimated how crappy that video made you feel.

“No… it’s not just the video… it just… finally let me give myself a hard look in the mirror.” You shrugged your shoulders and admitted, and before Iida, Yaoyorozu or any of the others could reassure that’s when Izuku rushed into the common room.

“(Y/N)?! (Y/N) are you in here?!” He almost didn’t notice you because of the hoodie you wore to hide yourself as your eyes went wide and you kept your visage away from your friend. Oblivious to a nervous Kaminari pointing at you to let Izuku know that you were right there.

“(Y/N)… h-hey are you okay…?” He normally wasn’t the one who got so close, but he wanted to see you. Izuku’s been so worried since the video made you run out of the mall like that, and then you didn’t answer his calls or his texts, he almost feared the worse.

And you knew that he must have been worried sick so you finally answered him, ““I’m fine.” You muttered and shook your head, “If you think it has something to do with that video, it doesn’t. What makes you think I care about what those jackoffs even think?” That came off a bit colder than you intended but just thinking about that video made you mad as hell.

“I-I don’t but… y-you just looked so upset a-and I tried calling you and… I-I got worried, I just… please look I don’t want you to think that that video changes the way anyone here looks at you because it doesn’t.” Was the first thing he said because he was well aware of how self-conscious you were about your appearance and how people looked at you even if you always pretended like you didn’t care. He knew it based on the fact that you were wearing this hoodie just to hide.

“Hey! Shitty Girl! I know you’re here, stop hiding already!” Before Izuku could even finish talking, you and him perked up and gasped when you heard Bakugo’s voice and saw him coming over once he loudly entered the commons.  

“K-Kacchan…”

“Ugh…” You looked away more and further pulled your hoodie down when you expected Bakugo to yell at you, and he did, “You ignored all my phone calls last night idiot! What the hell is that all about?! Just because a bunch of assholes made a video about you don’t mean you can just ignore me!”

You narrowed your eyes, obviously he was trying to help and shockingly he WANTED to help, but you didn’t know how to really respond to that properly. “I didn’t want to be pitied.”

Bakugo outright laughed at your response and you understood why since you were doing that to yourself, “You’re already doing that to yourself you moron! Look at yourself! Take this damn thing off!” And he roughly pulled the hoodie down just so he could see your face even if it made you cringe and nervously blush in embarrassment, but you still found it in you to glare at him.

“Are you really going to let this get to you? Are you seriously going to hide just because of that?” He was partially aware of how your feelings could get easily hurt at times, because he’s the one who’s done that to you in the past, but that didn’t mean he’d let anyone else do that.

“Yeah, I am.” And you remembered all the times he did that to you, but when you said that Bakugo just looked even madder, “Seriously (Y/N)? What happened to Ms. ‘Too cool to give a shit about what anyone thinks of me’?”

Despite everything, Bakugo respected that you didn’t care about what you looked like, how you came off to people, and what other people thought of you, and that included him. So, it was a little shocking to see you like this. Well… actually not that shocking, but he didn’t really want to remember the times where he noticed that some of his remarks in middle school and elementary school no doubt hurt the feelings he would pretend that you didn’t have.

“Hey…  come on Kacchan…” Izuku knew you a little bit better than that though, at least, he secretly told himself that because he knew Bakugo didn’t entirely know about what emotional turmoil you suffered from at times since Bakugo drifted away from you and him until UA.

“Fuck off Deku!” But Bakugo was quick to shout at his childhood friend as you scoffed and rolled your eyes, all these years and he was STILL mean to Izuku. “Wowwww…” And your louder than normal voice caught their attention as Bakugo paused before he could yell at Izuku anymore.

“First off Katsuki, you really haven’t changed, second, it’s easy to pretend to be Ms. ‘Too cool to give a shit about what anyone thinks of me’ than it is to actually not give a shit about what anyone thinks of me. I CAN actually not give a shit, but sometimes I just do all right? I wish I didn’t but I do and it fucking sucks… this fucking sucks.” You still weren’t looking at either of your friends, and it pissed Bakugo off to no end.

“You shouldn’t even care though! All those damn extras who do stupid shit like this all do it for the sake of attention for the sake of getting rid of the boredom in their pathetic lives!”

He was right, and you knew it, but it didn’t mean you weren’t going to just stop feeling humiliated and upset as you refused to let the tears in your eyes fall as you wiped at them angrily. “You’re telling ME not to care?” You laughed a little bit which genuinely shocked him, “You? Famous Katsuki Bakugo? You can’t tell me not to care about what people think of me. I mean… you’re embarrassed to be seen with me Katsuki, you always have been, especially in middle school where I was just something for you to mock and belittle.”

So, you did remember, and although his rough exterior hid it well, Bakugo did feel guilty knowing that he DID treat you pretty badly, but he refused to let you think being seen with you embarrassed him, even if it did a little bit. “No, I’m not! Don’t just assume things!”

“You and I both know it’s not an assumption. Come on Katsuki… I can’t even remember the last time we had an actual conversation until yesterday, I only talk to your friends because they’re nice enough to actually talk to me. Which honestly shocks me because people like me don’t get talked to by people like them, or people like you.” You told him a hard truth, because he WAS embarrassed to be seen with you, but only recently has he started to feel bad about it. And he couldn’t stop just HOW bad he was feeling about it as he growled and stared at you angrily, but all that anger wasn’t at you, it was at himself. He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that you were right, or the fact that he was so terrible to you that you couldn’t even pretend to act like you didn’t care.

“(Y/N)…” Sensing the tension, Izuku tried to lessen it by reaching out to you but you weren’t even looking at him either, “I’m sure it’s not like that I mean-.”

“Yes, it is Izuku… you know it too, and honestly, I don’t get why you still talk to me to be honest… because… people like me don’t hang out with people like you either.”

This shocked Izuku, he’s never seen you or heard you talk to him like this, not once. “I-I don’t understand, what are you talking about? What makes you think that you can’t hang out with me? We’re friends…”

“Maybe… but even then, you’ve always been cooler than me Izuku. Don’t deny it, ever since we got into UA you’ve gotten better, stronger and cooler, and I’ve been under the radar. Under you.” You said as you averted your eyes as Izuku gasped quietly and continued to look at you in shock. Is that really what you’ve been thinking about him all this time?

“I’m nothing compared to the two of you, so just… go… this is an issue people like me deal with, not you guys.” You said softly, sadly as Izuku looked at you sadly and Bakugo growled and glared at you.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean huh? People like you?” He couldn’t believe you were saying this stuff about yourself, were you really this insecure? And did he play a factor in that…?

“It means you’re WAY out of my league.” Finally, you looked at him, anger sparked in your (E/C) eyes which made his eyes widen slightly when he recalled the time he told you those exact words. “Remember?” You snickered and shook your head, “You said it yourself Katsuki, I’m a fucking dork, and I’m gross, and I’ve known that, it’s true. I’m not ashamed to admit that, and you know what? I also know that you wouldn’t dance with me if I was the last girl on earth, I’ve always known that… I was just stupid enough to believe that maybe, just MAYBE I could dance with someone like you.” You repeated what he said as Izuku gasped as soon as this news hit him, because he never knew that Bakugo would say such things to you. It was one thing when he told him to go jump off the school building, but it was another thing to break you down like that.

It hurt Bakugo more than he was proud to admit, so he did play a factor in making you feel this horrible about yourself, and he fucking hated himself for that. “I didn’t mean what I said back then all right?! I was a fucking stupid kid! You can’t… still be holding onto that!” That was rare, he was actually apologetic for what he said? You almost didn’t believe it.

“You WERE a fucking stupid kid, but during that time you did mean it. And I’m fine with it.” You said, which left the fuming blonde speechless as he wanted to just apologize, but his pride almost wasn’t letting him do that.

“(Y/N)! Please… d-don’t feel… don’t feel like that, you’re not out of anyone’s league! You’re… you’re so much better than you think! And those, t-those… jerks are just trying to put you down.” So Izuku didn’t single anyone out, he tried to make you feel better, but it wasn’t really working. “Oh Izuku… I’ve always been out of yours and Katsuki’s league. It’s just a fact and it’s made me realize ‘wow, why am I still friends with these guys? Am I an idiot? I must be’. Because that’s not how it’s supposed to be, and I’m not going to let it be like that anymore where all I do is make you guys look even better by being the loser I am.” You were tired of this as you turned your back and started to leave the commons.

“(Y-Y/N) you’re not a loser!” Izuku’s voice nearly cracked the more you put yourself down and for some reason, put himself on a higher pedestal when he’s always thought you were the one above him. It hurt his heart to hear you say that about yourself, and it hurt even more knowing you didn’t believe him.

“Don’t you just fucking leave (Y/N)!” But Bakugo almost didn’t let you as he was ready to bring you back but you raised your hand, making him grunt and widen his eyes when the invisible force kept him away from you as he tried to move but the force wasn’t letting him move. Did you just use your quirk on him?

“No… I just… I don’t wanna talk anymore.” You shook your head with a glimmer of guilt in your eyes, but ultimately you did keep walking as you left your shocked friends and classmates behind.  

Although Izuku wanted to go to you, instead he stood where he was and looked down at his feet, eyes shimmering with melancholy while Bakugo had a mix of remorse, shame and anger in his the entire time he and his childhood stood among the rest of the sad, shocked and sympathetic classmates glancing where you walked away.  

Izuku knew that things changed for him quickly ever since he got into UA, but he couldn’t believe that subconsciously kept from seeing from your point of view, and the fact that while things changed for him, things might still have been static for you. How could he have been so blind? He should have been a better friend to you, he should have been more attentive to you and reminded you of how great you were because now you wouldn’t even believe it because of him. And he felt so horrible he spent most of the night in his room, brooding and trying hard not to cry about how he’s made you feel like that.

While Bakugo was clenching his fists the more he thought about how he’s treated you over the past years. All the name-calling, the rejection, the way he embarrassed you in front of those losers he called friends in middle school, every shitty thing he did to you, made you feel the way he saw you tonight. You were great, Bakugo’s come to realize how great you were, but it was his fault now that you didn’t believe it and wouldn’t believe it because of him. And he felt so fucking horrible about it he wished he could undo all of it as he cursed at himself and refused to get all emotional about this even though he wanted to.

Izuku should have gone after you. Bakugo should have gone after you. Yet neither of them found it in them too, because they both knew that you didn’t want to see them right now. And they had to respect that, no matter how much it was hurting to just let you go in misery.

And you sighed as you were leaving the place to just go to class already, and to your surprise you saw Shinsou walking down the same hall but he was heading in the direction of the commons. He slowed down to see you, concern instantly flashing in his eyes once he saw you. He prepared to open his mouth, but closed it quick into a sympathetic frown as you sighed and put your hoodie back on and walked past him.

LATER ON…

You barely paid attention to anything, and even though Iida politely requested that you put your hoodie down you couldn’t find it in you to do that. And because Iida felt too bad for you, he decided for once to leave it alone especially when he stopped this group of people from laughing at you.

It wasn’t just him, almost all of your classmates stopped to glare and flip off anyone else that wanted to make fun of you. More so than usual that is.

“Hey! Fuck off will ya?!” Kirishima even yelled at this group of snickering guys who were snorting at you when they saw you in your hoodie and carrying your lunch that you planned to go eat someplace everyone from literally everyone. Your friend tried to follow you but you walked a lot quicker than him, as if you were trying to get away, and those guys had the gal to point and snort even louder at you.

“I’m serious! I’ll kick your asses if you keep that up!” But when they saw the redhead glaring at them and raising a fist they DID back away while some others were either concerned or apathetic when they saw you walk even faster out of the hallway.

“Tormenting someone about their bodies? You people are a disgrace! Go on! Go!” Monoma, of all people seemed to express disapproval when he saw you leave after those jack-offs made fun of you and even urged them to go, and in annoyance they did walk away, much to the great shock of Kaminari and Kirishima.

“Eh? Did you just… do something decent?”

Kaminari was the one who asked that because he was REALLY shocked that this guy of all people seemed sympathetic for your plight.

This still offended the other blonde though, who scoffed, “What kind of animal do you take me for?! I’m not the kind of person who would bully someone over their appearance!” But Monoma had his standards, for all his trash talking and hating on 1-A, he wouldn’t bully someone like that, but especially when they looked as miserable as you did.

“Wow… that’s actually pretty manly.” Kirishima actually gave the guy a smile and a thumbs-up but Monoma rolled his eyes, “Well don’t get used to it! You’re lucky that (L/N) is the least annoying one in your class! Because I still hate you both!” But then he quickly gave them that shit-eating smile as he walked away laughing.

“Of course…” Kaminari should have seen that coming but Kirishima shrugged his shoulders, “At least he helped…”

You were going to need it, and you sighed heavily when you took your lunch and headed up to the roof so you could hide away and ignore everybody. Especially from the ones who kept calling you ‘pig’ and treating you like you were.

And you had no idea that the rest of your classmates were more or less threatening some people who kept laughing and fanning the flames of the video to the rest of the less-than-friendly students. Bakugo outright used the threat of violence against more than 20 different guys today.

“Still watching that video?! Still laughing?!

“N-No I swear! I-I wasn’t laughing!”

“I heard you! I heard you laughing and snorting you piece of shit!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry! NOOOOOO!!”

It all ended the same for all 20 of them, with a vicious and hard punch to the face that resulted in 15 black eyes and blood from the mouth as Bakugo left, flicking his wrist after he started to feel his knuckles sting from all the punching. He had to do it though, he wasn’t going to just let these assholes keep making fun of you.

Izuku could see Bakugo growling as he came back to the cafeteria and back to his group and was almost tempted to the do the same. However, he didn’t dare let anyone else laugh at you as he heard another pair of students snickering at the video and all it took was a furious glare from the normally sweet boy to silence them all.

No, they weren’t going to let this go on. Of course they both knew that they couldn’t just punch and glare at everyone to make them stop, but for now it was all they could do to protect you until you felt okay enough to face school again and hopefully not wear that hoodie to hide yourself.

They just wanted you to be okay again, but they knew you weren’t okay. Even when you went back to class with them you looked so miserable in your seat, just barely looking at your work with your hoodie still covering your face and your body.

The rest of the class could see it, and even Aizawa could see it. He was going to have to talk to Nezu about this, because he wasn’t going to put up with other little shits bothering his students, even if it meant having to block several of the cites on the Wi-Fi. Your teacher wasn’t going to tolerate this kind of bullying.

Except you were too miserable to really pay attention to anyone, even as you got up to lazily get out of class you couldn’t hear Hagakure or the girls trying to call out to you. “(L/N)!” “Please wait!” “Let’s walk to the dorms together!”

You pretended like you couldn’t hear them, not out of bitterness but because you didn’t want them to be seen with you. Why embarrass them too? And why risk other girls calling you their ‘pet pig’? You thought as you walked on ahead, but only then did you stop when you heard a teacher’s voice.

“(L/N) (Y/N)!”

It was Midnight and you perked up with a small gasp as you stopped in your tracks and looked over at her nervously, were you in trouble or something? Usually the only teachers you really talked with were Aizawa and Mr. Yamada, so it was kind of odd and a little intimidating to have another teacher call on you.

“Y-Yes Ms. Midnight?” Still you answered her politely as she gave you a smirk, “I need you to come into my classroom right away.” Her voice sounded like it usually did, calm, oddly sweet with just a hint of that seduction as you assumed it just became like second nature to her.

Although you were nervous as hell that you were in trouble or something you followed her into her classroom as you made your way in and she came in closely afterwards. “So… I’ve been hearing all these rumors about this rather nasty video of you. At first I didn’t think it was true but then I actually saw the video for myself…”

You sighed heavily, groaning as you blushed heavily in embarrassment and looked away, “It’s true… I think it’s the most popular video at the moment.” Why was she asking you about that? You were certain she didn’t do it to taunt you, teachers wouldn’t do that… right?

“Heh, at the moment. Eventually something else will come up and take it’s place. Frankly this video is in poor taste if you ask me.” The woman stated her opinion, and you had no idea what she was playing at or what she even wanted, but you remained polite.

“I dunno… people think it’s hilarious. I guess that’s cuz I got the less than conventionally attractive body to use for comedy.” You attempted to sound light-hearted about it, but really you just ended up making yourself feel like crap all over again when you put yourself down like that. And it made your teacher really sad as she looked at you with a frown.

“I see.” She said calmly before she gave you a little smile, “Funny how you say that, even though I’ve noticed all the things you’ve been doing to spread the messages of body positivity and self-love during your time here.” Midnight noted fondly as you almost perked up, because you had been trying to do that. On Instagram and on twitter you would tweet about the importance of body positivity, self-love and letting people choose what they want to wear.

You must have sounded like a real hypocrite to her, since you couldn’t find anything positive about your body or love yourself right now.

“Did you know that people made videos about me too? And still DO make videos about me? Kinda like that one?” Midnight then asked and looked over at you, still smiling as you gasped lightly and finally you found it in you to look at her.

“Ma’am?” You immediately sounded sympathetic, even though you weren’t surprised since pro-heroes were like celebrities, of course people were going to find ways to mock them too.

“Yeah, when I first started out, people would make ‘funny videos’ about me too, and emphasize on my outfit, my body and all. Say that I was dressed like a ‘slut’ or that I had too much extra fat on my chest and legs. But I had to do a lot of work to get this body, I had to be fit so I could perform and do the hero work. However…I also knew that there are certain standards for heroines to fulfill, and a lot of emphasis is put on a how a heroine looks unfortunately.” She admitted rather casually as if she was used to it, and you were shocked to hear that. Then again, the beauty standards in Japan were different, still, just the same the standards were unfair to women as all beauty standards in every country was.

“I have to admit, I AM comfortable in my body and my skin, but it doesn’t stop other women from trying to make me feel bad for the body I have. Same goes for men, I might like to have a little fun every now and then, but… some guys are just plain creeps about it.” She said with a little eye-roll and your eyes went wide because that was exactly what you dealt with yesterday as you nodded vigorously in agreement. But also felt bad for your teacher and how she had to put up with all of that, from both men and women alike…

“Lemme tell you this (L/N), the world is very hard. I’d say it’s hard for everyone, but it’s especially hard for women, all kinds of women of different shapes, sizes, race, identity, everything. And there are some pretty cruel people out there. They like to put not just women down, but people in general down and belittle them, make them feel like they’re below people, like they’re not good enough to be with others. They like to categorize them in these little groups so they can deliberately exclude them and make people feel like they could never be in someone’s league or on their level. It’s… well that’s the real villain of everything don’t you think?” Midnight asked you as you paid your full attention to the woman and you found yourself nodding in full agreement.

Your (E/C) eyes started to tear up when she said everything that you knew was true, because deep down you always felt like it had to just be cruel people who liked putting others down that was at fault for everything. That there wasn’t anything wrong with you, and what was wrong was the ones who tried to MAKE you feel like something was wrong with you.

“Y-Yes…! T-That’s why I… it’s why I… get so angry sometimes… and just… try to shout it out, whether it’s on Instagram, twitter or even… out in public.” You stuttered a little bit, but you agreed with her and thought about all the times you’d angrily tweet or even call out people when they were being problematic, hating on others or trying to make other people feel like crap about themselves.

“Good! That’s good (L/N), it’s good to get angry about that, because you know that it’s wrong, what they try to do to people is wrong. But you know what’s not wrong? You. You’re not wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you. What those people did is wrong.” She said to you a little more firmly, her expression a tad bit sterner.

“They tried to convince you that there’s something ‘wrong’ with you, and pointed it out because they only THINK those things about you are wrong. They tried to let you think that there’s something wrong with your body, and that there’s something wrong with what you believe in. But there is NOTHING wrong with your body or what you believe in. Do you understand?” She asked you as you looked at her with slight shock, but felt all the determination slowly coming back to you as you put your hoodie down so she could see that you DID understand.

“Yes ma’am!”

Midnight could see the fire starting to return to your eyes and her smile slowly turned into a proud grin, “I want you to be proud (L/N). I want you to be proud and confident about the person you are. You’re a heroine, and heroines are all imperfectly perfect, their bodies are all imperfectly perfect, and you know it because you’ve said it yourself. I know… it’s sad when other women are awful to other women, but you are not one of those women. And I’m not either. I’m proud that you are not one of those women, it’s up to you to keep spreading that message, and it’s especially important for you to remember that yourself, to remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, and I want you to refuse to let ANYONE make you feel like there’s something wrong with you because is not.”

You clenched your fists determinedly as you wiped your tears away when her words touched your heart and gave her a confident smile. “You’re right Ms. Midnight… there’s nothing wrong with me. And… I’m tired of letting people make me think so… tired of feeling like there is something wrong with me…” You admitted as your teacher’s smile softened.

“I know you are dear. And that’s okay… it’s okay to feel tired too. It’s exhausting…” She chuckled as you couldn’t help but giggle along with her, “But it’s only gonna get more exhausting when you go out on that dancefloor!” She went from calm to excited quick as you perked up and started to blush again…

“Oh the dance…” Could you really go to the dance? You told yourself you weren’t but… if you didn’t go, would that mean they would win?

“Yeah! You’re going to the dance aren’t ya? I think it’d be great if you did! I mean you can dance girl!” Midnight sounded a little more informal and playful, but when she saw the look on your face she paused a bit, “But only if you want, you don’t have to go…”

And that was enough to think, no, you were definitely going to the dance. You asked out Izuku, and you were going to dance with him. You WANTED to dance with him, you WANTED him to see you when you show up in a dress.

You WANTED to go to the dance with your friend and feel beautiful.

“I’m going! I’m definitely going! I got a dress! And I’m going to be extra beautiful.” You said with a little bit more pride as Midnight grinned at you. “That-a girl! You’re going to be so beautiful I know it, because you are beautiful!” She pointed at you with a big smile as you teared up again, letting out a soft little sob as you wiped away your tears when you got a little more emotional upon hearing such validation.

You couldn’t help but throw your arms around the woman in a big hug, and Midnight was more than happy to engulf you in a warm, almost motherly hug. “Thank you Ms. Midnight…”

“You’re welcome hon…” She said to you softly as she hugged you. “Ya know (L/N)… I heard that the theme is ‘Winter is Here’.” She then smirked as your eyes lit up just hearing it, so that means your theme won!!  And you quietly squealed as you pulled away and threw your hands to your mouth as you jumped up and down.

“And that means you need to get your Daenerys Targaryen on, rise up from the ashes naked with three dragons on your beautiful body!” She exclaimed and you flinched and blushed quite madly at the thought, “Hehe… maybe the first part… three dragons…? I wish I had three dragons…”

You shyly chuckled, and she put her hand on your shoulder, “You do…” Midnight’s smirk widened and you didn’t entirely get what she meant, as she was talking about three classmates you had gotten close to over the past couple of days.

“Now you gotta go to this place, get your hair all washed, your toes and fingernails painted and tomorrow I’ll help style your hair cool girl~!” She advised to you very enthusiastically as you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling when she gave you a card to go visit after school.

“Yes ma’am! Thank you ma’am!” You thanked her once again as you smiled and looked a little more sure than you had been all day as she chuckled and decided to let you go, “All righty pretty girl, go on, take that hoodie off and think about how you want that dance to go tomorrow so you can live out your wildest fantasies~!!” That came out a BIT more lewd than she intended but you saw the intention and you smiled nervously with a giggle, “I-I will…”

You gave her a thumbs-up as she waved at you and you waved back before you finally exited the school, but the first thing you did was take off that damn hoodie to free your pit stains to let them breath. “Oh sheesh…” You looked at the stains on the pits of your uniform but that’s what happens when you sweat right?

You shrugged your shoulders as you went back to the dorms, ignoring all the jeering from some other students and instead just waved at them. Might as well walk around with pride instead of shame, and you smirked when you arrived back at the dorms and entered the commons once again, still sweaty and messy but no longer hiding.

“(Y/N)! Your hoodie’s off!” Hagakure chirped as soon as she saw you looking a little more like yourself and you cheerfully waved with your arm up, “Yup. That thing was hot as hell…”

Your remark made several of your classmates, particularly the Bakusquad laugh, only their leader was missing. “(L/N) your… your um…” Iida wasn’t the first person to notice that you were sweating really badly, but he had to point it out so he could save you some embarrassment even though he was embarrassed just pointing it out.

“Oh yeah these? Well, girls sweat too, a LOT, it’s more of a sheen than a sparkle too… but it’s natural.” But you weren’t embarrassed about it, not right now at least. “Anyhoo… I’m sorry for ignoring all of you guys… I got upset… but I regret ignoring you guys when you were all trying to help me. And I can’t thank you guys enough for doing that for me. You’re all… brilliant.” And you made sure to thank all of your classmates with a warm smile, and the ones there all perked up as they looked at you, feeling quite touched by your gratitude as they got up to go over to you.

“Awww of course (L/N)!”

“You’re our friend!”

“We’d do anything for you!”

“And help you with anything!”

You could hear all of them reassuring you and saying how much they cared about you and what they’d do for you. God you were so touched you wanted to cry, and at the same time you were relieved that Izuku and Bakugo weren’t there. You owed them some apologies too but… maybe that could wait a little while longer as you smiled and hugged all of your friends before you went back to your room.

Meanwhile…

Izuku was still worried about you, and so was Bakugo for that matter as he walked past the boy without even blowing at him. But Izuku didn’t even notice as he just walked back into his dorm and both the boys were oblivious to the fact that you returned.

However, the second Izuku went back into his room his phone went off and it was a message from Uraraka and Iida saying that you were doing better and even came back to the commons in a better mood. Oh how he wanted to talk to you but he distanced himself because he still thought that maybe you didn’t want to see him after everything and based on what you said the other day.

He chuckled wryly at the thought because he always thought he was the loser and that you were the one out of his league. Of course Bakugo probably made you feel like you were the loser, but that wasn’t true. He could say all he wanted, but Izuku always knew that if anyone was brilliant and out of anyone’s league, it was you.

He just wished that he could get you to see that, and he wished that you could believe that…

RING!

Before Izuku could brood anymore, he jumped when he got a message on his phone and it was from you! He was quick to read it with rather wide green eyes.

‘Hey. I know I acted like a gloomy doofus yesterday, but I still do wanna go to the dance with you. So… we’ll meet here? At the front of the school building?’

Izuku gasped sharply and loudly, hand coming to his mouth to cover any scream that wanted to leave him, and he called himself an idiot before texting back ‘Yes! Yes! We’ll meet here! Can’t wait!’ That came off a bit more excited than he hoped but he couldn’t help it, you still wanted to go to the dance?! He was so happy! Oh my God he was still going to the dance with you, he almost forgot about that…

Oh my God he almost forgot about that and now he had to learn how to dance! And fast!!

And unbeknownst to him, you were thinking the exact same thing as you stood in your room and put on several Youtube videos to learn all these cool dances. You were clumsy doing it but you kept at it so you could actually try to do something like dancing for tomorrow night…

Afterwards you made sure to shave everything, well, legs and pits at least. You’d let the forest reclaim the lands AFTER the dance, but for today and tomorrow, your legs and pits would have to be bare and maybe a little shiny.

You were going to this dance and you were going to be as fierce as a dragon queen.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[les-fleurs-fanees]

M A G N O L I A ❦ A C K E R M A N

BIRTH NAME: Magnolia Elodie Ackerman

NICKNAME: Maggie, Mags

MOTHER: {TBA}

FATHER: {TBA}

SIBLINGS: Lord Ackerman

AGE: 515

HEIGHT: 5′7″

WEIGHT: 115lbs

BODY BUILD: Slim

HAIR COLOR: Blonde

EYE COLOR: Red

ADDITIONAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: Magnolia is very slender, and appears quite fragile. She almost always wears very modest clothing with her flaxen hair worn loose. She also wears readers.

POSITIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Loving, erudite, expressive, exuberant

NEGATIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Lonely, self-depricating, isolated, socially awkward, timid

MOTIVATIONS: Taking control of her life.

FAVORITE COLOR: Forest Green

FAVORITE FOOD: Type A+

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Type AB+

HOBBIES: Writing, Needlepoint, Reading, Sketching, Poetry

KINKS: Vers, TPE (as either the submissive/Dominant), bondage, painplay (as either recipient/giver), watersports (as recipient), bodyworship

HARD LIMITS: Ageplay, Feet

D O S S I E R

Magnolia Ackerman is the younger sister of the current Lord Ackerman. And at one point in her life, she was a well liked and exuberant young Vampiress. A favorite at salons, Magnolia was as vibrant as her namesake. The then Lord and Lady Ackerman were all too proud to have Magnolia for a daughter.

When her brother married and his wife bore Sebastian and Prudence, the pressure was put upon Magnolia to marry and have children of her own. Knowing that it was her duty, Magnolia did not fight tradition, but would silently pray that she be as lucky as her brother was: to find a mate that would treat her with love and kindness.

Alas, Magnolia was not so lucky.

(TW: Gore)

@xadlibitumhqbios

Lord Bartholomew of a foreign noble family was chosen to be her husband, and the pair were quietly married in a modest ceremony hosted in Upper America. That was the last time she’d lived amongst her family. And for a time, she was permitted to see her brother, sister-in-law, her nephew Sebastian and her niece Prudence. And for a time, things were good.

Again, Magnolia was not so lucky.

Her sister-in-law’s third pregnancy was announced with pure joy and excitement, and Magnolia couldn’t wait to meet her new niece/nephew. Yet all the while, all attempts for her own pregnancy with her husband were futile. Once the second child arrived, joy quickly turned to horror as Magnolia’s sister-in-law did not survive the birth. Overcome with the desire to be at her brother’s side, she begged to be named a surrogate for the two little girls, however such a request was at odds with her duty, and her husband responded to her pleas with a vehement no.

As time passed, the visits became less frequent. Until they stopped entirely. Her family in Upper America was a distraction; one that her husband firmly believed kept them from being able to conceive. Soon thereafter, the expansive estate they shared became little more than her prison cell.

Magnolia’s life was hallmarked by empty social gestures and pervasive social isolation. Little joys came in the form of letters she wrote to her nieces and nephew, nearly all of them coded so that Lord Bartholomew wouldn’t notice. And still, the attempts to produce an heir continued, with their ‘attempting’ nights becoming downright clinical in nature. Nearly all ended with nothing, excluding the occasional miscarriage.

Magnolia’s dour nature was palpable to the other nobles who would visit them, and it was suggested to Lord Bartholomew that perhaps he should do something to lift her spirits. That her fertility would improve if she were simply...happier. He considered this, and ultimately agreed. The solution to their problems came in the form of a young female slave, claimed as a gift for Magnolia so that she wouldn’t feel quite so alone. Magnolia named her Petal.

The effect of the Claim’s presence was immediate. Petal was quiet and subservient. Never raising a hand to her Masters, and, much like Magnolia, endured the brusque, abusive manner that Lord Bartholomew ran his home. Petal was incorporated into their ‘attempts’ and while she did improve things, Lord Bartholomew also liked to use Petal for his own pleasures. Often forcing Magnolia to watch as a means to ready her for another ‘attempt’.

And perhaps it was that shared experience that ultimately brought Petal and Magnolia closer together...closer than was appropriate for a Noble Vampiress and her slave. In their scant moments together without the Lord’s presence, Petal became privy to who Magnolia truly was. A vibrant, intelligent woman of many interests and skills. Not this reticent, empty shell that would sit in silence doing needlepoint all day. Eventually they’d shared kisses, made love after feedings, and eventually confessed their love for one another. And for the first time in forever, Magnolia truly felt loved. Spending time with Petal tempered the abuse she endured at the hands of her husband. For all of the anger and vitriol he would lob at her, Petal was there with open arms and I love yous. And for a time, things were improving.

But again, Magnolia wasn’t so lucky.

Despite this secret relationship, Magnolia still couldn’t conceive, and Lord Bartholomew was more brutish than ever. Verbally berating Magnolia for being utterly useless. As a result, Petal couldn’t bear to see Magnolia suffer any longer. And on one fateful night, in the midst of an ‘attempt’, Lord Bartholomew noticed just how much more passionate his wife was with their Claim. Overcome with jealousy, he flew into a rage, striking Magnolia, and sending Petal sprawling to the floor. An angry tirade ensued, with every possible jab he could think of being hurled at a trembling Magnolia, huddled naked in a corner. Petal, meanwhile, seized the moment and ran outside, hell bent on escaping. Magnolia remained on the floor sobbing; mourning the loss of her Claim, while begging for forgiveness and apologizing profusely for everything and anything.

Petal continued to run as fast as she could without looking back. But as she passed a small gardeners shed in the yard, she suddenly stopped. She couldn’t leave her Mistress behind to rot in that hell hole with that monster. And Petal soon returned to the bedroom with a large axe in hand. Letting out a guttural scream, Petal swung the axe in a vicious arc, and embedded the large blade directly into Lord Bartholomew’s neck. Magnolia watched in catatonic horror as her husband suddenly went fish-eyed, and Petal continued the assault, with each sloppy swing of the blade. Chop! Chop! Chop! The Lord’s mouth became a geyser of blood, and his esophagus and trachea hung loose from the newly formed gash in his neck. And once Petal finished excising the Lord’s head from his body, she dropped the axe with a loud clatter, and simply stared back at Magnolia from behind his corpse.

Amid all of the screaming, some of the estate servants came running, seeing the gory scene in front of them, and connecting the dots. And Magnolia sobbed. Not for her husband. Both Magnolia and Petal knew that she was dead. No one would believe her if told the truth of what had happened. Petal, chest still heaving from the assault looked Magnolia in the eyes and said, “You’re finally free.” With that, the Blood Knights arrived, and that was the second to last time Magnolia had seen Petal. The final time being the young woman’s trial, wherein she was sentenced to death for the murder of her Master. As she was led off by the Blood Knights she looked toward Magnolia, and mouthed the words I love you.

All of this happened a mere two months ago, and that’s what finds Magnolia returning to Upper America to live with her brother and his family (at his urging). Unsure of what to do with this new found freedom, Magnolia is neither optimistic or pessimistic about this new phase in her life.

Above all else, she is numb.

And lonelier than ever.

[edwardslostalchemy]

ohh for the character list thing, can u do todoroki, iida, and/or uraraka?? - c

You both know me inside and out ahhhh

@alartes-draws @midoriyaizukustan

This is under a read more bc it’s so long alfajfalk

Shouto

favorite thing about them

GOD he’s my absolute favorite so like everything is my favorite thing about him. But my #1 thing that I absolutely adore is that he is very willing and open to grow and to like accept criticism. I know for a fact I don’t like receiving criticism. But him? Izuku has yelled at him to like basically get him to see that he had to make the fire quirk he had his own rather than associate it with his father. That’s TOUGH to do. That’s YEARS of self-hatred and abuse and repressing his power and just looking at it as a way to see his father. But he took Izuku’s words to heart, that he could do with his fire quirk what he wanted because it was his. And he grew so much because he accepted his words. I would have been like “You don’t know me! You don’t know what I’ve gone through! You have no right to tell me that!” But not Shouto. Shouto has taken other types of criticism from Aizawa as well, telling him he depends on his quirk and that’s why he went after him first during his final exam. And then he was able to realize “Huh, I really should have given Momo a chance to tell me her plan, she had something to say.” And then he has her tell him her plan. And then during Kamino, (yes, Tenya got on his case, but he was like “we aren’t gonna fight, we’re gonna sneak around, my dude”) when they were against the wall and Izuku is like “I have a plan!!!” He’s like “TELL US YOUR PLAN”. Like he is not the only one who gets to take charge and share his plans. Also when in*sa was being very passive aggressive towards him, Shouto went up to him and asked if he’d’ done something to him and when he told him about their past, Shouto was like ah fuck I fucked up, but I liked that he was willing to confront this very large guy to resolve this issue. He is like very accepting and open to new ideas and he makes mistakes and still goes off on his own (provisional license exam where you at), but he is still able to take these like criticisms and examples and learn from them. He’s a great character and his growth has been so progressive and amazing and I am so thankful to Horikoshi for this character holy shit. 

least favorite thing about them

I hate that he calls k*tsuki his friend despite k*tsuki being a God awful character. Shouto, sweetie, you deserve better friends. k*tsuki has been compared to endeav*r, your abusive father. Please please, you have the whole izucrew and class 1A (except m*neta) right there. You can have Momo and Izuku and Tenya and Ochako and Eijirou as your bffs. Please honey, please, I’m begging you. Please stop calling him your friend. He is not a friend, he is bitch ass gremlin. 

favorite line

[softly] “Midoriya”

brOTP

OOF I love him with Momo (rich kids bitching about shit), OCHAKO (brother/sister dynamic where they bicker and talk in code, thank you Redd and C), Tenya (such a wholesome friendship), Izuku (they would be super close best friends come on), and of course him with Fuyumi and Natsuo having a nice sibling relationship with a hilarious group chat to boot (have you read make this feel like home by carolinaa? If you haven’t, go read it, it’s so good and the group chat they have, that is what I’m talking about, that’s the good stuff.) I like him with class 1A in general (except k*tsuki and m*neta ew gross). 

OTP

TodoDeku!!!! This has got to be my favorite ship I’ve had thus far in my fandom experience. Like I’ve had OTPs where I’m absolutely wild for them (fr//–//uk, haru//–//michi, ever//–//lark, ed//–//win) and I’ve given my 110% like I am giving this ship, but like….this ship……..is so damn SOFT. And it gives me the warm fuzzies and it makes me so incredibly stupidly happy and I want them to be happy and they’re just so precious WOW. 

nOTP

Mmmm every other ship BUT SPECIFICALLY todoyikes (aka todonono aka todo//–//momo), todo//–//baku, ina//–//todo. These three ships really give me the Stroke^TM feeling like I need a squeeze toy and happy messages when I come across them. Big No Nos. Never mention them to me unless you want to hate on them with me. I would say every other todo ship is my notp, but I can tolerate them, like I’ve seen ships like iida//–//todo and shou//–//chako (went into the tag bc I’m not a fucking coward *five minutes later* haha lmfao never mind), and they’re okay. 

random headcanon

I have so many, but one of my favorites is that as a pro hero, he has so much Dad^TM energy and adopts all of his interns and treats them so kindly. He is supportive of their education and growth and basically just wants to see them succeed in life. He loves his interns. they’re all his children. 

Another random headcanon is that Shouto has a beautiful singing voice and he got it from his mother. He sings when he feels particularly sad or when he wants to cheer up (himself and his friends and siblings), and he also writes lyrics at times. He is also good at playing guitar, but is shy about expressing these talents, until the izucrew catches him singing in the kitchen while he was cooking one time. 

unpopular opinion

I like that he’s oblivious, but also I believe that once he gets older, he is not as dense anymore and learns to pick up on social cues. BUT he likes to pretend to be dense and fuck with people. 

song i associate with them

I listen to the OST more often than not and I really like Nevertheless, Go Beyond. That song comes out when he arrives at the battle vs. HKS. It gets me hyped. As for a song with lyrics, I like the song Weak by AJR. It’s really good. There’s an AMV that I’m just like bruh…yes. 

favorite picture of them

I love whenever he is on screen because he is so pretty, so basically all of the series is my favorite picture of him. 

BUT ALSO

AND THERE’S MORE

DO IT FOR HIM

Tenya

favorite thing about them

HE’S SO EARNEST AND REALLY INTO THINGS LIKE HE GETS ME TO DO THINGS. HE’S ALSO REALLY PROPER??? I LOVE THIS SQUARE BOY. Also his dedication to everything he does, absolutely everything he has ever done has had so much enthusiasm, he’s so passionate. Also him standing up for the girls when m*neta wants to harass them. We stan an icon. 

least favorite thing about them

I don’t like that he punched Izuku in that one episode when k*tsuki gets kidnapped and the kids are like “We’re gonna go save him yeet”. I understand where he was coming from, but I still didn’t like that. 

favorite line

[To Izuku, holding him back from leaping into danger against AFO] “I will…protect you!”

brOTP

Izuku, Shouto, Momo, Ochako, Aoyama, everyone in class 1A can be in a bromance with him (except k*tsuki and m*neta bc he deserves better). 

OTP

Iichako! I love love love them so much. He really cares about her!!! And she really cares about him!!!! I also like him with Momo!!! And Mei!!! And Aoyama!!! 

nOTP

With Izuku and Shouto. I just cannot. I think he sees them as brothers more than anything. 

random headcanon

He helps his classmates train to improve on their speed and he gives them tips as well as stretching exercises and routines since he knows what to do with speed. 

Also when he’s a pro hero, he owns an agency with his brother and they are both the bosses and he takes care of a lot of administrative things, so he may not get to do a lot of hero work like the heroes that work for them, but he does get to go out into the field often and trains interns. 

unpopular opinion

Tenya with long hair and an undercut is good. Give it a chance. 

song i associate with them

Runnin’ by Adam Lambert is a great song!!!

favorite picture of them

Look at how precious he is!

Ochako

favorite thing about them

I like that she is figuring out how to be her own kind of hero. She also is into self-improvement and I admire that she went to intern under someone like Gun Head to learn hand-to-hand combat! That’s really rad! She’s here to kick all of our asses!

least favorite thing about them

I hate how everyone tells her she has a crush on Izuku instead of her figuring it out on her own without prompting. Like please let her have her character arc without it including her feelings for a guy. Let her have her character development. Let her shine without this coming up for God’s sake. She is such an amazing character and I love her so much. Please I am begging. She deserves her own background and history. I don’t want it to focus on just her feelings. That’s just ugh. it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, it’s really personal. 

favorite line

I can’t remember the lines exactly, but when she’s talking to her dad, that scene really hits me in the heart. That entire conversation, I really felt that. Thanks for the feels, Horikoshi.

brOTP

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE IS SHOUTO AND HER AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW THIS, BUT LET ME JUST SCREAM ABOUT IT FOR A LITTLE MORE. I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK. THEY HAVE THAT DYNAMIC I DESCRIBED ON MY SHOUTO BROTPS AND LIKE JUST PICTURE THEM HAVING REALLY FUNNY, AGGRESSIVELY FRIENDLY CONVERSATIONS, PLEASE OPEN YOUR 3RD EYE AND UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING HERE, THEY ARE A GOOD BROTP, THEY ARE BFFS, THEY WOULD LEGIT TAKE A HIT FOR EACH OTHER. I’M ASCENDING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. 

I also love her with Izuku, Tenya, Eijirou, Tsu, Momo, the rest of the girls, Mei, Aoyama, Tokoyami, pretty much everyone except those two characters I keep mentioning that I don’t like. 

OTP

Iichako! But I also like her with Tsu and Momo. 

nOTP

Izu//–//Ocha (I have talked about this on my blog and it rings a personal chord with me so I cannot bring myself to like it, plus it feels so forced and I just can’t get into it and I don’t care for it), k*c//–//chako (just no, she deserves so much better than that)

random headcanon

She becomes the combat specialist for the agency she works for in the future. She is very skilled in hand-to-hand combat and trains the heroes and sidekicks. Nobody can beat her. She is the best fighter in the agency. RIP villains and anyone that takes her on. She can even beat Izuku, Shouto, and Tenya, who are arguably super strong and big burly men. She is not smol though. When she’s a pro, she’s ripped, she’s muscular and very agile and quick. Beware of her. Once she enters a fight, she comes out victorious. She will come for your kneecaps. 

unpopular opinion

Ochako is fucking feral. Did you see her fight k*tsuki??? She really came for his throat. She should have won. But Horikoshi is a fucking coward. What a shame. 

song i associate with them

I like Fight Song by Rachel Platten for her. 

favorite picture of them

A PRECIOUS BABY

[im-the-yang-lets-fight]

My thoughts on She-ra season 2

Oh boy, get your seatbelts on my friends, cause this will be a long one!

I just binge-watched the 7 episodes of the second season of "She-Ra and the princesses of power" and I, being the huge fan of the show that I am, couldn't help but want to share my thoughts about it. I'll try to organize this to the best of my abilities, and be warned, there are spoilers ahead.

1. The Plot

This season felt a lot like filler to me, at least plot-wise. There's not a lot of new things going on throughout the episodes, and the things we do learn are near the end of the season and seem like they are the set up for what's yet to come. 

However, the amount of character development we get makes up for the lack of plot (as opposed to the 1st season, where the focus of the show was on its story).

2. The Characters

Without the need to push the story forward, the show took a step back to focus instead on reaffirming the things we already knew about the characters and presenting us with some new depth to them as well. I was pleasantly surprised to discover those characters were exactly like I imagined them to be, which of course only speaks volumes to how well done this show is.

a) She-Ra/Adora

The first few episodes of the season showcase Adora as she trains with Light Hope in other to furder master the powers she possesses as She-Ra (and as you can see by the picture above, she's still learning).

On the later episodes though, the focus shifts to the shenanigans she is up to with the best friend squad and the princess alliance - and it is here we get some tidbits of extra-information and development from Adora.

In the first season, we didn't get to explore this character in depth (which is ironic considering she's the protagonist), but this season we did get to see a little of Adora's emotions and how she feels about dealing with her responsibilities, especially on episode 4.

Not only do we see that Adora is constantly worried about not being good enough and failing like Mara did, but we also see that her time on the Horde has impacted her in a meaningful way, because she deals with that stress like a soldier would: By overplanning and strategizing. 

(OBS.: On the note of Adora being raised as a soldier and still having that integrated inside of her, I think it was clever to show that she sleeps with a dagger on her hand

and that her first instinct about everything is to fight it,

because it contextualizes her "dumb jock" attitude into something more real.)

b) Catra

Since Catra was the emotional focus of the first season, on this one instead of getting development we get a reaffirmation of something everybody already knew, that Catra longes for acceptance and love - that couldn't be more clear then it is on episode 6 (as you can see on the picture above). It is Catra's need for validation that pushes her to help Shadow Weaver even after everything she has done to her, and this is the biggest thing Catra needs to overcome on her/in other for her to have a redemption arc, and I believe Entrapta and especially Scorpia have a huge hole in helping her overcome her past.

This season we also got to see Catra as Hordak's second-in-command, and I think that showed us how unprepared she was to deal with it (even if her violent persistence - allied with Entrapta's inventions - did help the horde gain terrain), therefore reaffirming that she needs to overcome her impulsiveness in other to truly succeed. 

c) Glimmer 

What I loved from Glimmer this season was her scene in episode two where, like it is illustrated in the picture above, she decides to punch Catra after finding out Entrapta is working with the Horde. I like this scene because one of my favorite things in Glimmer is that rage, that impulsiveness she has within her (as a princess she's supposed to always be level-headed like her mother, but her personality is clearly her father's - more on that later), it makes her different from Bow and Adora and - God forbid anyone mentions this to her on the show - similar to Catra.

I also enjoyed her interactions with Frosta, but I'll touch on that later.

d) Bow

Bow's story on episode 7 was one of the highlights of the season, getting to see more of his past and meeting his dads was an absolute delight, and it gives us a nice context on why Bow is the way he is, after all, with such loving parents it is hard not to grow so in tune with your emotions as he is.

Another thing I really loved was to see more of Bow's invertor side, this love for inventions he has is one of the things I wanted to see more of in the series, because I think he has the potential to rival Entrapta (although she will always be the best) and with them now working on different sides of the fight, this will make for an interesting plot-point. Not to mention he might just be the one to show the princesses that magic and technology can mingle. 

d) Scorpia 

If what they did with Bow made me happy, what they did with Scorpia blew me off into space. 

In the first season we did see that she cared for Catra, but this season we got to explore the depth of her feelings and it was magnificent! I can't say they are romantic even if they seem to be coded that way, because not only do I have faith that She-ra would portray them without the coding if that was the case, but also because I have a similar relationship with my best friend (I genuinely consider him to be my soulmate, even if it is platonic).

Of course, you can interpret Scorpia's feelings as you wish, because, regardless of the nature of that relationship, the important part is that I have absolute certainty that it is one of the things that will change Catra.

Just like you can draw parallels between Catra and Glimmer and how they relate to Adora, you can do the same with Scorpia and the Princess of Power (in relation to Catra, obviously). I firmly believe it is this new friendship, absolutely free of comparisons and regret, that will teach Catra about self-love and worth, and how there are people in her life that truly care about her (something I believe she didn't see with Adora because of, well, everything).

Another thing I loved was Scorpia and Sea Hawk being friendly to each other, it is definitely a relationship I want to see more of in the future.

e) Frosta

Of all of the princesses in the alliance, the one I think I loved to see the most was definitely Frosta. Not only is she ridiculously cute, but it was nice to see her step out of her "Ice Queen" persona and into a more carefree version of herself (as the show made clear that is because she finally has friends, and can let her childlike demeanor out more often).

Her relationship with Glimmer is precious and a good reminder that even with everything that's going on, all of them are just kids and teens.

f) Micah

Oh boy, I loved what we got to see about Glimmer's dad when he was young! It's easily seen that he is just like his daughter when it comes to personality (impulsive, eager, skilled but impatient) and I hope to see more of him.

And the fact that he trained with Light Spinner and helped her become what she is today just adds to the lore and I hope to see in the future what he did after that incident.

Oh and, speaking of Light Spinner... 

g) Light Spinner/Shadow Weaver

This season we got a little bit of backstory on Shadow Weaver, however, I can't say I'm that pleased with it. I did like to know how she came to work with Hordak, but I kinda wanted to focus to be on what she wants to do now. The best part for me was her manipulating Catra (and even Micah), that showed a lot about how cunning and perceptive she is, and how dangerous she can become, even without the Black Garnet.

h) Hordak

Last season Hordak was an ominous name being thrown around and a shadow on a screen, but this season we got to see more of him, and I can say I'm pleased. Although next to Entrapta he seems extremely non-threatening (I believe that's because Entrapta herself doesn't realize the danger he can be to her, and that puts him off-balance), with Catra he is very scary looking and I am dying to find out what will be of her after her failure to obey him. 

He also gave us a little bit of plot, with that portal he is trying to construct, I can only wonder what are his intentions and if they involve Adora.

3. Tidbits and Shenanigans 

Now, this wouldn't be a complete report on my thoughts about She-ra, if I didn't mention my favorite things that happened this season, so lets jump right in! 

a) Animation Fails

For the Glimmadora shippers out there, I can only say that I do agree Glimmer and Adora are made for each other, after all, they both rock the "I'm dead inside" look!

• Exhibit A: Adora

• Exhibit B: Glimmer

• Conclusion: 

b) Entrapta being Entrapta

5 seconds later...

c) The only hug you'll see Catra give to the best friend squad for a long while

d) The only hug you'll see Adora give to Scorpia for a long while

e) Do I ship it? I shouldn't

And don't tell me that these two fighting didn't give you a frenemies-to-lovers vibe, even if we do love Sea Hawk. 

f) The table RPG

Everything about it was great, but more specifically...

l) Glimmer's version

ll) Bow's version

lll) Sea-Ra

lV) Adora's purgatory/wet dream

g) Scorpia's love for Catra

(Lonnie's "I can't deal with this shit" face though)

"when you try to have a date but she is too busy thinking of ways to defeat her ex."

h) Glimmer being the voice of reason

 i) Adora's majors

(can someone make a fanfiction where Adora is an overachiever with at least 3 majors? Please?)

j) Light Hope  being weird

k) "Lunch"

m) Sea Hawk showing he knows what's up

n) Horses

o) Bow and Glimmer need to learn to kidnap people

p) And Finally, Catradora

We didn't get many scenes with them, but the ones we got were precious!

• Exhibit A: Hey, Adora

• Exhibit B: Hey Catra

• Exhibit C: You're mine now

OBS.: What I thought after this scene was what Catra said before it.

4. TL;DR

This show is amazing and even if we didn't get much plot-wise this season, the character development and how funny it was makes up for it! Thank you, Netflix, Noelle Stevenson, and everyone else involved in this amazing thing!

[naruhearts]

OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.

Got back from Washington late last night!

Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)

Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here: 

Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.

I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?

Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones

Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom <3)). CAS was the missing piece. Free/Chosen Love vs Coerced/Forced Love. I pretty much choked. I was like Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.

I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text. 

The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).

I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.

These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.

Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.

I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.

Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.

Originally posted by incatastrophicmind

They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.

As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—

Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.

Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.

I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer <3 

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Bucky x God!War Machine!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: can i get a bucky barnes x god! war machine! reader. the reader has a native language on her planet and it was used against her by one of her own tribe. she gets brainwashed by HYDRA and years later some voice utters the trigger words. she gets instructions to kill the avengers. but bucky being her bf says the words to take control of the war machine. [sorry if it’s long and boring. you can add a few things or take something out. thank you.]

Never say sorry if it’s long!  And it certainly wasn’t boring!  I really did enjoy writing it!  I’m so sorry this took so long! <3

Words: 2278

Living on a completely new planet is much like taking off into a new country and leaving everything behind. That means your family and friends too. You were an unlucky person who was tricked into going to a new planet by one of the members in your tribe.

On your planet, your people were all grouped together in many tribes. Everyone lived in peace and harmony for a long time, but once every generation, there is the one who tried to rebel and be different. You couldn't blame them, but as a goddess on your planet, you couldn't condone this kind of behavior. It could lead to disaster and destruction for everyone, and the last thing you needed was a war.

Unfortunately, that person in your tribe was able to trick you into leaving the planet permanently for a mission that was happening on Earth. Some other worlds called it Midgard, but your planet decided to call it the way the people on their planet wanted to. Everyone knew it as Earth, but you didn't know of the evil that happened on there.

It turns out that HYDRA was a well-known group of people who committed acts that were unheard of on your planet. You were told that they had captured some of your people and you had to go save them. Instead, it was all an act to capture you, a goddess, so they could experiment and create the perfect weapon. A war machine.

Much like how they created the Winter Soldier, they used trigger words to take control over you whenever necessary. You were stuck doing their bidding for decades, fighting and killing everything that stood in your way. In fact, they were able to retrieve an infinity stone because of you. HYDRA was respected and feared by all because of their own War Machine and Winter Soldier.

When the Avengers were all together for a specific mission after Steve was able to help Bucky Barnes, they were able to help you as well. You were much harder to capture due to being a goddess on your planet, but Thor and Steve were able to corner you. Bucky knew some of the trigger words and tried them for hours on you. He finally found the one that snapped you out of it.

The Avengers helped you out and gave you a sense of home and comfort, but it was nothing compared to the connection you made with Bucky. He knew exactly what you went through and it made it easy to talk to him. It didn't take long for the two of you to start dating. In fact, Tony and the others placed a bet on when it would happen.

It felt like everything was alright for the time being. You were happy staying with the Avengers for a long time. However, you of all people should know that nothing good lasts forever. It would happen when you least expected it, and you'd need their help more than ever.

~

"Bucky, are you sure about this? I have a weird feeling about it all. Something seems wrong." You stood in the training room with your boyfriend, Bucky. He was packing a few weapons into a bag ranging from guns to knives. There was a mission coming up where the two of you had to infiltrate the HYDRA building to grab a few files that they stole from SHIELD.

"Nothing will go wrong, Y/N. We have a whole plan set up. It's almost fool-proof," He reassured you as he zipped up the bag. While slinging it over his shoulder he made his way to the door. You followed him quickly.

"The fact that you said almost fool-proof is the reason why I'm worried about this," You tried to joke. You couldn't explain why you were so nervous about it this time. It was like a sixth sense.

Bucky turned towards you with a serious expression, one that was very odd for him. He was usually very light-hearted and joking. If he didn't have that certain glint in his eyes that he almost always has, this means he was serious. "It will be fine, Y/N. We have everything under control. The mission will be over before you know it."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

~

You quietly slid through the vents of the HYDRA building. They were cold and smooth. Every once in a while you could feel a small cobweb in the corner as you turned. It was clear that this building was abandoned a long time ago. "Bucky, what's your location?" You asked him as you found the grate door that you needed. Looking through the slits you could see a dimly lit room with several desks.

"I'm in meeting room A3. There's no one in sight, but there are still a few security systems still active. Be careful," He warned. You rolled your eyes, knowing now that you were right about the mission.

"On it. I'm going in. I should have the files in just a few minutes. Steve, are you by the door?" You asked, checking to make sure he was there. Tony wanted to make sure that absolutely nothing went wrong, so he wanted Steve to man the door. The building may be abandoned, but HYDRA could still watch it like a hawk through cameras.

"Go ahead, Y/N. I've got the door. Just get those papers and get out."

"On it," You turned off your comms for the time being so you could focus on where the security measures are. Several lasers were by the single desk that held the files. They were almost impossible to see, but you had a sharp eye for this after training with Natasha Romanoff.

You quietly snuck in and grabbed the papers immediately. You didn't expect them to be placed on a trap. You could feel the tug as the papers almost seemed glued to the desk. It wasn't enough to stop them from being stuck, but it was enough for you to look back. While you had the papers in your hand, a sensor on the surface was glowing red. Your eyes widened and ran for it, hitting the lasers anyway.

"Steve, there was a sensor underneath the papers! I'm leaving, get out of here!" You yelled to him, running for the vent.

The vent was locked by a door, forcing you to head for the door. You were hoping Steve was still there, but he was nowhere to be seen. "Get out of there now!" Tony yelled through the comms. Clearly, something had gone wrong. His tone was clearly panicked and worried for your safety.

You started running through the hallways until you found yourself in a room filled with HYDRA agents. They all carried guns that were directly pointed at you. You didn't stand a chance because someone grabbed you from behind, forcing you to drop the papers. Their grip around you was strong and firm. You tried fighting it to the best of your ability but they whispered one word that still held power over you. It was the one codeword that could put you back into the War Machine.

~

Bucky stood impatiently by the helicopter with the other Avengers. He was anxious to see you and make sure you were alright, but Steve and the others told him he couldn't go back in.

"Bucky, she'll pull through it, she's strong," Steve patted his friend on the back.

"I know she is, but I'm worried anyway," He sighed. Continuing to look out at where the building was, he nearly ran to you when he saw you walking out.

There was something wrong, he just had a feeling. You had a few cuts and bruises on your face, but you were stoic. It was as if you didn't feel anything. Your eyes didn't even light up the way they usually did when you saw Bucky, and that was the big part that worried him. It was his favorite part about seeing you in the morning.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" He called out to you as you stopped short. You were only a few yards away from them as Tony and Rhodey stepped out of the helicopter. Natasha stayed put, making sure that it was ready to take off, but kept a careful eye on you anyway.

Your hand slowly went up to your comms as you spoke into it. "They're here," You said, letting all of the HYDRA agents know where the Avengers were. Bucky's eyes widened, realizing what they must have done to you.

The fight began only seconds after that. Shots were fired everywhere as Steve used his shield to block the bullets. Natasha ran out with her own pistols ready. Tony quickly tapped on his arc reactor, putting his suit back on. He raised his hands up, firing at the agents.

Bucky ran for cover as he held his metal arm up to protect himself from the bullets. He was determined to make his way over to you to try the code words again. If they were able to put you under, that meant there was a way to bring you back again. His eyes scanned the battlefield, finally catching your (H/C) hair amongst the dark agents. You were hiding behind a few of the men, shielding yourself away from the others.

He quickly got up, making a run for it and using his machine gun to shoot at the men. Your eyes darted to him as the two soldiers in front of you dropped dead. A glint of anger was in your gaze as you ran for it. HYDRA told you to stay far away from him as they knew he could snap you out of it.

He was much taller and therefore could run faster than you. He knocked your weapon out of your hands quickly as he used his metal arm to bring you close to him in a death grip. You tried resisting as much as possible, but nothing worked. You kicked him in the knee as hard as you could, and he loosened his grip enough for you to run out. You turned to him as you grabbed your gun back up, pointing it directly at him. He raised his hands up, not wanting to do anything to surprise you yet.

"Y/N, you have to listen to me. They've brainwashed you again. You don't want to do this, and we're not going to fight you."

"That's a shame, you're going to make it too easy for me then." You walked a few steps closer to him, closing the space. Your gun was close enough to shoot him at point-blank, but he wouldn't be able to grab it without lunging for it.

"What did they say to you? How did they bring you back to them?"

"They didn't say or do anything to me, but they showed me that there's another way to go, to do what's truly right.   And that's to destroy you, Avengers. Y ou're nothing more than a pathetic piece of trash that deserves what's coming to you."

Bucky recognized the one word you said during your small speech to him. It was like you were trying to subtly tell him what the code word was. You were trying to fight it.

When he was going through the list of words, he noticed that many of the words were different adjectives to degrade your self-esteem. From ugly to disgusting to minute, all of the words were in Russian and all were meant to break you. Including the word that meant in English, pathetic. It was the only way you could tell him while you were under.

"Have any last words?" You asked him, knocking him out of his small trance. He smiled slightly, barely hearing the last few gunshots in the background.

He muttered the code.

You collapsed almost immediately after.

~

"I'm really sorry for nearly killing you and all of the Avengers... Again," You said, sitting in your hospital bed in the infirmary wing of the Avengers Tower. Bucky sat next to you, holding your hand and examining your last few injuries.

"They're not holding any hard feelings. I'm just glad you're okay." He kissed the top of your head, pulling you into a hug. You hugged him back quickly, loving his warm embrace at the moment.

"I told you something would go wrong. You should really trust a girl when she tells you stuff like that." He chuckled.

"I'll keep that in mind next time. As for now, Stark has already said you're not allowed on any more HYDRA missions. They'll keep you on all of the other missions, but they aren't going to risk that all over again."

"Thank God." You breathed a sigh of relief. "Were the files retrieved? I dropped them when they were able to grab me in the one room."

"Don't worry about that, Y/N. We weren't able to find them, they must've taken off with the papers when we weren't looking. It doesn't matter. Fury says he'll send in different SHIELD agents along with Hill to get them."

"I'm worried about them then. If the Avengers couldn't get those files, who could?" You asked. You didn't want to sound arrogant or cocky like Tony would, but the Avengers was supposed to be a team filled with the best.

"Fury trusts them. I think some of them were Johnson, Fitz, and Simmons. They're considered some of the best in the world. You should be more focused on recovering though. I want a rematch soon. I can't accept that you were able to get out of my arms that easily," He joked.

"You're on, Barnes."  

[dokidokiliteraturegirls]

 Hello everyone! Yui here, with today’s special feature, DDLitG Behind the Scenes: What’s the deal with Ako?

In this special update we’ll talk about her character in general, design, her place in the story, and more! So get comfortable in your seat, get yourself some good snacks, and let’s delve into the background of DDLitG’s 1st-ish original character~

Who is Ako?

Ako, formerly known as “female student”, was originally one of the many NPCs used by the game’s engine to fill its world with nondescript background characters, so as to make it feel less empty. However, Sayori took a special interest in her, and decided to befriend her, following the steps of a young MC who befriended Sayori in a similar situation and ended up saving her life. This would in turn allow Ako to grow as a character beyond her 1 line of coding and get her own sprites, as well as being able to interact with the world. She would later go on to fall in love with Sayori and shenanigans ensue.

Ako was created with the purpose of telling the story of the Friendship arc.

Designing Ako.

Let me make one thing clear: I’m not a character designer. I don’t know jack about it besides the very basics. But I did try to make someone who looked mildly original and, most importantly, different from the other girls.

Originally, she was going to be the image of a shy, fragile girl who Sayori befriended out of pity, more than anything. Based on this initial idea, I made this beta Ako design on one of my copybooks when I should’ve been working:

As you can see, her very first sprite was the one where she’s shyly looking away to avoid eye contact (and to seem annoying, but more on that later). I was happy with the pose but not with her face, as it looked super unoriginal. She resembled Ochako Uraraka from My Hero Academia a bit too much, so I tried to change her hair to make her stand out more. Here is her second iteration:

This time, I felt like I cranked it up too much to the other side. Now she stood out TOO much. Her hair felt like it came more from a protagonist than someone who’s supposed to be a background character. I adopted a new philosophy after seeing this result: she had to look as bland as possible. She had to be the kind of character you see all the time in the background of an anime - those simple, unassuming designs you’d never look twice at because you’re too focused on the protagonists with candy-coloured hair. In DDLitG’s canon she’s a filler NPC brought to the forefront, and her design had to reflect that more than my desire to make her look “cool”.

With this in mind, we come to Ako v0.3

As you can see, this is much closer to her current design. But this was still a sketch (even the drawing above is very much unfinished). As you can see, I got closer to her 0.1 version with the hair, but changed the eyes to make them look more unique, giving her that more neutral, “nothing” expression. Having finally found some ground I was comfortable with, I redefined her design a little further, gave her some more details around the hair and clothes, adjusted the proportions of her body (because apparently I draw heads huge), and made her finalized design.

I was happy.

What’s with this sassy... monochrome child?

If there’s one constant to be found in the pictures above, is that she was always meant to be black and white. There are plenty of reasons, which I’ll list because, honestly, there are a lot.

1. I didn’t want to look her like the rest of the cast at fucking all. She is an OC introduced in a story with already established characters made by a much more talented writer. She’s an outsider, someone who doesn’t belong with this cast of colorful characters, and I wanted readers to be able to tell that at first glance. No, she’s not like the other girls. They don’t belong in the same place. She is not a member of the original DDLC cast, and it shows.

2. I know I can’t draw as well as Satchely, so trying to copy DDLC’s art style would just end up looking awkward and wrong. I had no choice but to do my own thing. And if I’m doing my own thing, why not take it all the way? I already gave myself artistic freedom, I might as well go crazy with it~

3. I just adore characters in a fictional universe that look different from the rest of the cast or have some strange design choice for literally no reason. Like Krillin from Dragonball, with his eyes that make him look like he belongs in an entirely different manga...

...or even Jotaro Kujo, whose hat merges with his hair because why not!

I live for dumb crap like that.

4. A huuuuuge inspiration for me while writing (besides my own uninteresting life) is music. Many times I listen to a specific track or imagine situations with specific background music to make them seem more real, and be able to better portray the feelings of a scene when writing [For example, I listened to My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade a lot while writing Monika’s Death].

Ako’s creation was no exception. Her appearance was partially based on the cover for not only one of my favorite Vocaloid albums of all time, but one of my favorite albums period: Wowaka’s glorious Unhappy Refrain.

I’ve been writing stuff based on this album alone for years because it’s just so damn striking to me. The picture of the faceless schoolgirl falling into the unseen abyss, the background uninterested characters that imply they are used to seeing fellow girls suffer, the distorted world they live in, the album’s way to explore teenage depression, the freaking name of the album, EVERYTHING! IT’S SUCH A GOOD EXPLORATION OF THE DIFFICULT LIFE TEENS FACE THAT OFTEN GOES UNNOTICED!! AAAAAAHHHH IT’S SO GOOD.

5. Ako was also based on a previous design I made for another character meant for an original visual novel I was writing and I’m probably never going to finish, who was also going to be monochromatic to reference this album (in that context it made more sense though cuz every character was a musical reference).

This character, in turn, was based on Monoko from Yume Nikki, which is more obvious because of her crying eye and extra arm.

So basically at this point it would’ve been weird if I hadn’t made her monochromatic.

Naming Ako

This was one of the most difficult parts, ngl.

As I mentioned, Ako was originally going to be a fragile, shy girl. Based on this, her original name during the design face was Moromi, which is one more letter than “Moroi”, which Google translate promises me means “Brittle” or “Fragile” in Japanese.

However, after the philosophy change that happened during her conceptual stage, “Fragility” was no longer at the core of her character, as it was now “Nothingness/Blandness”. Because of this, I changed her name to “Ako”.

Many people have submitted their interpretations of the name, ranging from its meaning “To teach/to learn”, and “To yearn for”, which all fit better than the original tbh.

The intended meaning is for “Ako” to be read as “A-Ko”, which is a way by which Japenese media often refers to filler characters, as it translates to “Girl A”.

Examples of this can be seen in Super Danganronpa 2, where a character in a videogame is called “A-Ko” to hide their identity...

...and in a movie called “Project A-ko”, which was a parody of the anime tropes from the time, so they gave the protagonist the most generic name ever. The antagonist and side character, by the way, are called “B-Ko” and “C-Ko” respectively. This movie is fucking awesome.

This name also made sense in the context of the story, because we already had a character named “Student A”, so this goes to show that the game just gave Ako the default name it had stored for female NPCs.

Blinded Ako, or How I Learned to Convey Emotion Through Ahegao

When I came up with Ako, she was meant to have most of her character revolving around her infatuation with Sayori. She was, after all, written in the story with the purpose of falling in love with her, and nothing else. Her character, personality, likes/dislikes, and hobbies came afterwards. As the story progressed, however, I decided that she should have a personality separate from just being in love with another character. So to separate the actions she committed under the influence of her passion, I did a little design change in the middle of the arc: Blinded Ako.

In this version, Ako has been literally blinded by love and stops being rational. This is represented by the hearts covering her eyes, and clouding her judgement. This was done not only with the purpose of representing she was past her breaking point, but also to differentiate the Ako that makes mistakes with the Ako that was introduced in the beginning of the arc. Almost so as to make them two different characters, so when she is reintroduced as a regular character after Friendship, readers could think “oh, she’s not going to do dumb stuff again, she’s not blinded by love anymore.”

Many people compared the above panel with “ahegao”, a trope in hentai manga where a character does a silly face to represent them breaking from enjoying themselves so much. This was done partially on purpose. The main idea was to represent Ako being blinded by her infatuation for Sayori, not to equate her sate of being with anything sexual. It DID end up looking more hentai-esque than I expected though, as, well, Ako is in black and white, and the heart eyes are also a trope in ahegao. And she’s sweating. And she’s saying that she’s about to break....

.....

....well at least I drove my point home.

Ako’s musical influences

Above I mentioned how music was a big part of my inspiration, and how I listened to Welcome to the Black Parade while writing Monika’s Death, so the question in no one’s mind is: what music did Yui use as inspiration for Ako’s character and the arc? 🤔

Well, hypothetical reader, the answer is that since Ako was meant to be bland and flavour-free, her original depiction is not based on a song or anything. Her desperation towards Sayori and Blinded Ako, though, are based on TRONICBOX’s 80′s style remix of Ariana Grande’s Into You. And yes, this 80′s remix in specific. Not the original song. I highly encourage you to give it a listen and pay attention to the lyrics if you want an insight into how Ako was feeling during her breaking point.

Also, as a side note, no one has asked me this, but I imagine Ako’s voice to sound like the vocals of Panty and Stocking’s ending, Fallen Angel. It’s a truly beautiful song, and once again, I highly encourage you to give it a listen and pay attention tot he lyrics if you want an insight in Ako’s current feelings towards Sayori.

Ako’s reception

This is more something personal than an explanation of the character, but it’s something I want to share nonetheless.

Remember when I said Ako was meant to be annoying? Yeah... xD

When I decided to add a new character I did so under the idea that everyone was going to hate her, because it’s a purposefully boring OC made by some insane person with the sole purpose of being added to an already interesting and loved cast of characters just to fuck everything up.

The first scene I ever wrote for Ako was the part where Monika asked if she had hurt Sayori, and she said “Not intentionally...” while looking away, which is why her first sprite ever was in that position. She was meant to make people feel frustrated over this girl just looking away from her problems and avoiding responsibility, while also telling Monika to her face that she had done something bad to Sayori. Readers were expected to hate her. That’s why in the beginning she says she doesn’t like literature, to assure you that she’s not joining the literature club. That’s why there’s a scene where she gets punched in the face. That’s why she looks so extremely out of place.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISLIKE HER!! omg I’m still surprised at how warm the reception was, you guys are just too nice for me~ ❤️

Because of the unexpected reception I had to change some parts of the arc, which were originally going to be much crueler towards her [I even questioned adding the punch at all, but it was an important part of Monika’s development so I felt it]. I also established her as a recurring character in spite of her dislike of literature, and did my best to make her less hate-able than she was originally going to be, even cutting some planned lines of dialogue that made her pretty irredeemable. Looking back, I am glad I did those changes, we ended up with a well-liked and pretty nice girl because of it~

Final thoughts

The introduction of Ako and writing Friendship in general was a very intense experience for me. It was very difficult to balance Ako as being both relevant to the story and moving the plot forward, but not make her the sole focus of everything and have her obscure everyone else, because OCs in established pieces of media tend to do that.

This arc also got a LOT of mixed reviews, some people liking it, some hating everything I did. This made me really question what I was doing and at many points even regret I was writing Friendship at all. At a certain point I lost almost 50 followers in a single update.

I also had trouble writing some parts because they were too sad. And that’s not my style! I like writing happy people being good friends, damn it, not everyone crying and hating each other.

But when all is said and done, I’m happy I wrote both Friendship and Ako into the story. I’ve received many wonderful, supportive messages telling me how much readers enjoyed it. Even some people saying they had been in a similar situation to the one depicted in the story, and were glad to see a story that showed a positive outcome.

Will I write more OCs into DDLitG?

Meh, who knows. I love writing more original stuff and expanding the world of DDLitG, but I also feel like if I introduce yet another OC, people will crucify me and hate me for flooding the story with too much stuff that’s irrelevant to the DDLC they’re used to. That being said, writing this blog is my first, and very possibly last chance to expose my stories to such a large audience. And seeing people like what you do not only because you’re riding the coattails of a recognizable brand, but because they like what you do with it, makes me pretty darn happy. Being completely honest, I’d like to add another character. But just one. And only if it’s something that will push both the story and the girls’ character arcs forward. Not just adding OCs for the sake of it.

Thanks for sticking until the end of this BTS, and I hope you found it an enjoyable read, or at the very least I made you a little bit less bored~ ❤️

Next time, in DDLitG Behind the scenes: What’s the deal with The Perfect Yuri?

[suchasuckerformontages-blog]

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts                                                                    written by Max Borenstein (first draft) and John Gatins (second draft)

Thoughts:

To be honest I didn't expect much from this movie. Which means I was surprised by it's cinematography, it's nice colour coding (as if you jumped right into an Indiana Jones movie) and overall high shooting quality. The fight scenes were rarely too long and boring with the exception of the one where they walk through the bones of Kong's deceased family and meet the reptile thingy. At first it was pretty exciting how they employed the well-known horror movie technique of seeing only flickers of the monster circling one in but then they show it and there is this kind of unnecessary scene of James Conrad (Tom Hiddleston) fighting of other monster thingies to save one of the crew members (at least not a woman) in a very heroic manner.

While I was a fan of the initial (and most likely intentional) premise of the movie: The whole, admittedly a little oversimplified, Kong is not a monster, he just defends his territory (that's not the real reason though as we get to find out later in the movie), I was a little disappointed by the ending. They spend so much time establishing the idea that Kong is not the monster, he's just misunderstood, he actually wants to help the people on the island to then introduce us to a new monster, the reptile thing, which we are expected to have the same attitude towards as we had towards Kong before we knew that he wasn't really a monster. And that's what bugs me. A monster in this movie is defined by whether or not he harms the humans. Kong does harm the humans at first but then we slowly get to learn why, and how he actually helps them, and form an emotional bond with him. The big one of the skull crawlers doesn't even get a name and he only appears at the end as Kong's enemy. Immediately we are supposed to make the same mistake we might have made at the beginning of the movie. But that's not how it works and it shouldn't work like that either. Our definition of a monster shouldn't depend on whether it harms us as humans or not (which is part of what caused the mess we are in environmentally at the moment) .            After having thought about this for a while though, I have to admit that the movie might actually comment on this idea of ours to define someone or something as being monstrous depending on who they are harming. There is this one scene where Kong is attacked by a giant calamari and they combat a little while but in the end Kong kills it with the intention to eat it. In this scenario I clearly felt how my sympathy and empathy shifted between the two animals depending on which one had the upper hand and which one was inferior at that moment. I suppose that I was not the only one who felt like that and I therefore guess that it was the intention of the film makers to create this sentiment of ambiguity and to point out that for some reason humans tend to give their compassion to individuals that are in need of it. However who is in need is rarely as easily determined as in these life and death situations we are confronted with in action movies. And even then it's not always as clear as we are made to believe. Complex motives are a huge aspect of what makes us alive and what makes it possible for us to identify and thus sympathise with other characters (even if these characters are not humans).

Nonetheless this was just one scene and I doubt it's what's going to stick with people especially when you are too overwhelmed by the action in it. What's probably going to stick is: Nice to humans equals good. And for a movie that is supposedly about monsters and what makes them monsters it's simply not enough. I fully understand that an action movie needs action sequences that usually come in the form of a fight scene and that the easiest way to do so is by creating a completely detestable enemy (one where you don't have to question yourself and reflect on what you're thinking). And I get that this is what happened in Kong: Skull Island maybe partly so that the pacing would be right: A big battle with high stakes at the end.

Yet for a movie that claims to deal with the image of monsters in relation to humans it was a bit disappointing. Ofcourse that's not to say that I hated the movie. For example I loved (,loved, loved) that the writer(s) decided to leave out the damsel in distress cliché of the other King Kong movies. And overall I had a really good time watching the movie. So let's just see how the story will go on.

The Feminist Point of view:

Brie Larson as Mason Weaver: An anti-war photographer and investigative photojournalist. Larson stated that her character has her "own sort of motive" as to why she joined the expedition: "That's the interesting thing about this movie. It's a group of misfits that are all coming from different angles looking at the same thing. You get to see how many different views in regards to nature and how we should handle it are dealt with from many different perspectives".Larson further added that Weaver has an "interest and respect for nature" and "Through that she has a closer, more loving, and intimate relationship with Kong"

Jing Tian as San Lin: A biologist working for Monarch. According to Vogt-Roberts and Borenstein, her role was originally larger but had been reduced. Alison de Souza of the Straits Times wrote that in the final film Jing Tian's role would be described in Chinese as a "hua ping" (花瓶), meaning a vase, which refers to insignificant roles, and that she "hardly does or says a thing."

(Wikipedia)

I know it's Wikipedia but it does already say a lot.

Mako-Mori-test:

a) at least one female character

There are even two out of thirteen! (don't think I have to stress this but *irony*)

b)  who gets her own narrative arc

Sort of. One of them (Mason Weaver) does have a background story that is talked about but she doesn't really have an arc (though to be fair none of the male characters seem to really make a real emotional development that could be called an arc either).

c) that is not about supporting a man’s story.

Mason Weaver is very closely linked to Tom Hiddleston's character which makes it hard to say whether she is supporting his character or just interacts with him but she is very clearly not just there to support a man's character as she brings another perspective to the story.

Bechdel- Test:

a) at least two female characters with names

Check.

b) that talk to each other

Probably. Maybe. But for the life of me I can't remember what that would have been about. If they did talk it must have been short or simply not very memorable (again to be fair I also can't remember a lot of meaningful dialogue between male characters and after all it's still an action movie.)

c) about something other than a man

See above.