#that guy would go nuts for Nickelback

[cc-kote]

Hunter would listen to Nickelback once and have an out of body experience.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 12 "Dorkus"

"I think you did it."

"These morons need someone to tear them a new one."

"I am going to write the missive to end all missives."

"I don't want your first time to be with a murderer."

"I love you. I would never, ever hurt you."

"I promise you're safe. That was part of the deal."

"You could never be touched."

"How many lives could you have saved?"

"Our mission never involved killing anyone."

"And it's not just wearing raw chickens on their heads and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked."

"It was a conspiracy."

"Stop rationalizing it. You killed people. You are not allowed to just say, "yeah, but I had a super good reason for it."

"Who did you kill?"

"What, are you gonna kill me now?"

"I would never hurt you. I just can't let you leave."

"If you could just stop, hear what I have to say, to understand---please--why I did what I did, you could still love me."

"Don't try to justify it all after the fact."

"They showed up one day thinking that I was a double agent, that I couldn't be trusted. They were going to kill me."

"Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! Ask me and I'll do anything. I'll prove it."

"Don't you see that they did that on purpose?! They knew that if you actually killed someone, you would be their slave!"

"We were the good guys. We were in this together!"

"I did this for you. Don't you understand?"

"The more I hear about this whole thing, the more I'm starting to think the idea that there are good and bad people in the world is just something adults use to get children to stay in line."

"I mean, aren't we being naive?"

"You took me literally?"

"You are already a murderer, [NAME], you don't have to be a douche as well!"

"This is not a philosophy course. This is murder-- serial murder!"

"I was so young and desperate to be special and loved."

"I never had a real girlfriend before."

"I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, and now you're making me feel self-conscious."

"Just come in and take me now."

"You are ridiculously and laughably gullible."

"What self-respecting man wouldn't do anything to get revenge for being degraded like that?"

"Unfortunately, I don't have great aim with a crossbow and I can't see anything in that mask."

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"I feel sick. This isn't what I wanted."

"Don't judge me for what we both know had to happen."

"You know what? Let's just run away together. You and me. Forget everything."

"Don't you see what I'm willing to do for you?"

"No! I don't want to speak to your supervisor!"

"I've gotten zero swipes on my profile!"

"Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan?"

"I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries/testicles, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA."

"I mean, I'm all for public shaming. I practically invented it. It's the sign of a healthy culture. But not when I'm the one getting shamed."

"I wanted to be famous, but not like this."

"To all the so-called mainstream media, including weird web sites that nobody has heard of who have used my name as clickbait, and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, who have taken every opportunity to mock and attack me mercilessly from the safety of their stained futons, I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. You can all suck it!"

"Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside."

"I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over."

"I ordered an asp online so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, and now I'm just waiting for it to sense my body heat and come out and bite me so this will all be over."

"I understand that what you're going through is really intense. And I know you and I haven't really always seen eye to eye, And you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time. And I have a real problem with your casual racism,

which is something we need to work on. But, girl, I promise I got your back."

"You're young, smart and beautiful, and you got a lot of living ahead of you."

"Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? Like my grandmama says. Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that words really mean something and they can hurt people, so you just can't always say the first horrible thing that pops into your head all the time."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Get me out of this suit!"

"What the hell is going on? Who is that guy?"

"Everyone on campus but me is a dork!"

"I'm gonna explode."

"When I woke up, I was wrapped in dynamite!"

"Oh, my god, it's a bomb."

"Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice and probably did nothing wrong at all just got blown up in our living room. Bummer. Now, let's honor his memory by moving on."

"Can you not make it about you for one second?!"

"Stop wallowing and start concentrating on what's really important here--restoring my reputation."

"I need to go on an apology tour. You know, like celebrities, when they say something offensive, they just go on tv and apologize, and everybody forgives them, even though they don't mean it at all."

"I'm gonna fake apologize, you'll record it, we'll post it online, and it'll all be fine."

"But I thought that you said that you weren't the person who put the acid in the spray tanner."

"Why do you think the devil let me live?"

"I think you saw what you wanted to see."

"You can't kill people from a loving and positive place."

"Invasion of the dad bod snatchers."

"If it's good enough for the CIA, it's good enough for me."

"Get ready to make the most important playlist of your life."

"Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew the minute we laid eyes on each other. And once I did, something inside of me, I don't know, it just, just clicked. And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy."

"So you just decided to break into my house in the middle of the day?"

"I've been a very bad boy."

"I'm just trying to figure out what your angle is. What are you trying to get out of this?"

"You know what I'm trying to get? 45 minutes alone, so I can go crazy on you."

"Turn out the lights!"

"These are my minions."

"Those are the hounds."

"How do you know I'm not the killer?"

"This whole file is made up."

"Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder."

"Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle."

"You want a drag?"

"That was the best sex of my life."

"I think you're just relieved to find out that intercourse doesn't have to be followed by hours and hours of crying and a weird purchase of an engagement ring."

"Look, I never knew sex could be like that. At first, I was like, I was like, "wow, she's being really loud. Are the neighbors gonna call the police?" And then I was like, "wow, now I'm being really loud. why am I screaming so much? They're definitely gonna call the police." And then I was just stunned at how flexible you are. I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast to get both feet behind your head."

"I just think that maybe you and I were meant to be together after all."

"I find her unbearably annoying."

"I recognized the island splash scent of that douche you use."

"What movie are you even referring to?"

"Don't patronize me. I look like a monster."

"Well, have you thought of a little plastic surgery?"

"What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize."

"I apologize for nothing."

"All evidence points to you."

"I know it was you. Have fun in hell, bitch. And fyi, this is probably gonna hurt a lot."

"Stop recording!"

"I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her."

"But remember, she's armed and dangerous."

"Oh, please tell me you did not bring your insane and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here."

"I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song."

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[yasperalta]

Hot Rod (2007) Sentence Starter Meme:

The people spoke and I listened... :) “My name is _____ , and I like to party!”  “Oh, my God, shut up! Okay? I'm just gonna do it for you.“ “I said you look shitty, GOODNIGHT _____!” “Um, I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.“ “Well, I think the grilled cheese sandwich - in a fair fight. But if it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.“ “I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!“ “I used to be legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. but now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.“ “I'm kinda grumpy today, dude. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was having those dreams again. “ “I'd rather die than live in a world where I can't kick your ass.“ “Well he won’t be smiling... WHEN I MURDER HIM!!”  “God I go to church every goddamn Sunday! You gonna bring the demons out of me!“ “Have fun being married to SATAN!” “Have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?”  “Haha, I’m just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean!”  “Cool beans.”  “You look like a giant eagle with fire all around you, and you've got a mountain for a face.“ “I’m guessing that’s the drugs.”  “Balls, man! We just ran over a small bus. This really small bus, we just ran over it.“ “I'm going in for a Vitamin Water, should I make that dos?” “Well, maybe I'll pick up a box of dong bags so we can knock boots later.“ “Yoo-hoo, shit heads, I found this bag of fireworks in the men's restroom. Would you guys like to light them off?“ “You know, pools are perfect for holding water...“ “I'm not a kid, I'm a man. I am gonna get you better, and then I'm gonna beat you to death!“ “I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done.“ “You have only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.“ “I, one time, manned a flamethrower.“ “Of course it's cool. It's awesome as shit.“ “Ancestors protect me.“ “Who cares what anyone thinks?“ “Hey _______, you chode! I owe you a shot in the nuts...!” “You know I have a hormone disorder!“ “Life is pain - we've got to scrape the joy from it every chance we get.“ “Ohhh when you're going on a date, and you put on a shirt! And you ride your bike to the daaaaate!” “You guys, the bathroom here is nuts!“ “He choked on some pie. He really wanted to win that contest...”  “Whatever happened to "Live as a team. Die as a team"?“ “Who am I supposed to build ramps for? Who am I supposed to build ramps for now?“ “The dog walked itself home, ate a pizza and took a nap.“ “Never sneak up on a man who's been in a chemical fire.“ “That shatters my entire universe.“ “Now I don't want to say that kiss was hot, but if the boner police are here, I want a lawyer!“ “Please believe, I do my laundry with no pants on!“ “I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me!“ “Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?“ “Oh, man, he hit his ass with a parking cone! Nice.“ “Point is, if you don't sit down with someone and really talk and get to know them you'll never find those things out. So what do you say? Wanna make this thing official?“ “What's going on? Is this some sort of interactive theatre art piece?“ “It's bouncing around the Web like a beachball at a Nickelback concert.“ “_____? Have you seen my hip pads?” “I'm officially kicking off Phase Two: Operation Fiscal Jackhammer.“ “Who wants to see me do a big-ass stunt?“

[thefantasysuite]

Arie’s Bachelor Preview

Finally. Maybe it just seems longer because I didn’t post much during ette or paradise, but it’s about time we got some new info on the OG of dating shows. The cast has finally been released. I’m going to assume that like me, your heart skipped a beat when you got that google alert stating as much. I glanced at a few pictures, but have held off reading anything about any of the ladies to make sure I captured first impression. You wouldn’t stand out there greeting each as she comes out of the limo and then get black out drunk and not remember what you first thought the next morning. Unless of course you are a contestant on this show and have already stalked the bachelor for months on end. In that case, pass the alcohol.

If you’ve followed this blog at all you know I like to stay away from off season drama. You had your 15 mins of fame. As Mr. Wonderful eloquently puts it:

But since it’s the season of giving I’ll give you a quick update on last year’s bachelor, Nick. Him and Vanessa broke up. The end. But seriously, this is what they looked like right after they were able to make their ‘arrangement’ public:

Yeah. Good job convincing everyone that was going to last.

Alright Moving right along. The bachelor this year is Arie Luyendyk:

I don’t remember feeling strongly about Arie one way or another when he was on. I do remember feeling strongly about the bachelorette that he was chasing after however:

Back to Arie. He comes from a family that likes to race cars. The F1 circuit to be precise. For all intents and purposes I’m going to group that in with NASCAR because the jokes are easier. Matt and Trey got 22 minutes out of making fun of NASCAR:

I can do a season of the bachelor.

Arie’s bachelor announcement doesn’t come without some controversy. He may have broken up with girlfriend right before he became the bachelor:

http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup

It also appears Arie has a type when you look at his ex compared to the former bachelorette:

Enough about Arie. Let’s see the skanks that will be racing after his heart (get used to a bunch corny puns relating to his former profession)

Ali

Ali is a personal stylist. Got a quick tip for Ali. Next time ABC offers to have their professional stylist help you out before your headshot, don’t say “I got this”. The most embarrassing thing she listens to is Nickelback. While unrelated, please check out this clip of another Chad Kroeger fighting his local government to keep house parties a god given right:

The Beastie Boys would be proud

Amber

3 people dead or alive you’d like to have lunch with. You can tell a lot about a person in how they answer. Starting your list off with Kim Kardashian says more than enough. What can you possibly ask her in which the honest answer isn’t “sex tape”? How did you get so famous? Sex tape. How did you break into the industry? Sex tape. What drove your step dad to become a woman? Sex tape

Annaliese

I feel like Annaliese misunderstood the question 5 things you can’t live without. She listed 3 different types of food and 2 emotions. I think the producers are looking for you to say something like wi-fi and your favorite hoody. She also listed Miley Cyrus and Chrissy Tiegan as people she would want to be. Guessing there isn’t much going on upstairs with this one

Ashley

Ashley looks super boring. Doubt she makes it past night 1. She hates doing laundry because it takes her a week to go from washing her clothes, to folding, to putting them away. Pft. I leave that shit in the dryer and go grab a pair of socks and underwear as needed. Amateur

Becca K

Becca has quite the jawline on her. Hopefully she has a smokin hot body. Becca is a publicist. You know who was also a publicist? Fucking Shauna:

Something tell me Becca is publicizing people more like Johnny Drama and less like Vincent Chase

Bekah M

Bekah is very intriguing. This might be a first, but her age isn’t listed in her bio. And I really want to know what it is. Her profession is nanny so I would assume she’s pretty young. But past contestant Corrine also had a nanny and she was pretty old. I know it’s because of the hair, but I’m getting a Morena Baccarin vibe:

I’ve got my eye on this one

Bibiana

I’m guessing Bibiana has quite a bit of personality. This has to be the girl other girls hate, right? She’s an executive assistant and former NFL cheerleader. I vote Bibi as most likely to tell everyone that she isn’t there to make friends and to start calling Arie her man

Bri

Bri is a sports reporter. I needed to look it up to be sure:

Now I’m not saying someone that’s already been on TV can’t fall in love with someone else on TV. But if she gets to the final 3 this season, fans like her, and a sideline job happens to open up with ABC she may have her eyes on a prize other than Arie

Brittane J

At the risk of making an off(on)-color joke, I’m going to guess that is a new way to spell Brittany. And is she winking? Lunch with 3 people dead or alive she went with Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, Beyonce. When the bill came Bernie made sure that Whitney Houston’s estate paid for her meal before the new tax bill gets rid of the death tax. (Hey. She got political, not me)

Brittany T

Seeing her listed as Brittany T confirms that the previous girl does pronounce it as Brittany. This Brittany would like to have lunch with Chris Evans, Hillary Clinton (shudder), and Beyonce. When Chris Evans goes on a coke binge he better hope he stays away from the bathtub to relax afterwards (See Whitney Houston above). Also, do you think Hillary ordered a side of beef at lunch? I remember when she got chucked into a van like a side of beef at a 9/11 memorial ceremony:

#neverforget

Caroline

I’m out on Caroline. She doesn’t have a dog yet, but can’t wait to find someone to “co-parent” a dog with. You would be a dog owner, not a parent. I bet she also can’t wait to “play house” with Arie. She’s going to be that girl that Arie tries to have a serious conversation with and can’t stop giggling while talking about how much fun they have together

Chelsea

Chelsea is boring and generic. Sticks out in no way. Not pretty. Not ugly. Thinks France is the most romantic city. Listed grade school sports as something she did competitively (read: unathletic). Likes warm weather, but not too warm. I don’t see anything here. I suspect an early pass (racing jokes) from Arie

Jacqueline

I’m trying to figure out who Jackie looks like. Right now I’m stuck on a poor (very poor) man’s Winnie Cooper:

I don’t think that’s the right answer, so I am open to suggestions. I also kind of wanted to look up Danica McKellar so I’m not mad. This will never work out though. She keeps talking about her career and how important it is to her. Career first women don’t win. They usually become the bachelorette. Not that I’m suggesting that will happen. Just that she has no chance

Jenna

Jenna is a social media manager from Indiana. Speaking of, I need to fire mine. When she eventually reads this post I expect https://twitter.com/thebachtweets to be updated with the new season flair. Jenna’s favorite show is Friends. I’m going to diagnose her as Monica. Looks like she is bubbly, can provide some comic relief when necessary, and probably has a nerdy brother named Ross that keeps finding ways to screw up everything with his much hotter girlfriend. How you doin’??

Jenny

Jenny’s most afraid of picking the wrong person to marry. I guess you can’t make that mistake if the bachelor picks you. She probably has nightmares about being the bachelorette. Many of her answers indicate that she’s outdoorsy and loves adventure. She looks just the opposite. Maybe her idea of camping is hanging out in a motor home watching netflix while a fire burns outside

Jessica

Jessica’s occupation is television host and I immediately couldn’t wait to look up which show. Then I saw she was from Canada, which isn’t real tv. Is Degrasi still on? But then I looked her up and it’s worse than Canadian tv host. She has a youtube channel called Jessica Carroll TV.......(So what if I watched the video ‘Get Pool Party Ready). So we have smoking hot girl living in LA that’s used to the camera. Guess who might get called out first for not being there for the right reasons

Kendall

I feel like Kendall has a drink in one or both hands of this picture. This chick is weird. If she could be any animal she went with bat. Most romantic gift was an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar because she collects taxidermy. As long as it wasn’t an alligator holding a human hand. Carl Weathers would have been pissed:

Krystal

Krystal is one of those fitness nuts. I feel like that’s a profession/hobby that never does well on this show either. She says she is most afraid of unused potential. Lol. She must moonlight as a life coach. Trying to remember back to when Arie was on the bachelorette he didn’t strike me as a real go getter. I feel like Krystal is going to push him to be better and Arie will end up channeling his brother in name and hit her with:

Lauren B

I think Lauren B goes far. Pretty girl. No weird answers. What is my first rule about going on this show? Don’t be weird. She has a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. By the way, whatever happened to Billy Blanks?

Lauren G

Lauren has the real descriptive occupation of executive recruiter. Her favorite tv show is ‘This is Us’. I’ve never seen an episode, but based on the people that watch it and from what I’ve heard it sounds like one long ass chick flick. It’s like tv networks needed to try and scoop up the ‘Parenthood’ audience that loves mushy feel good/make you cry stories and we ended up here. Those shows are the worst (And no, the bachelor is not the scripted reality version of those shows).

Lauren J

Lauren is honest. Asked if she’s neat or messy, she concedes to being messy. Doesn’t like playing games with guys, just tells them how she feels. Eats full meals in bed. Can’t live without mascara. She’s also 33 so no time to beat around the bush. I think she’ll end up getting super jelly when she sees Arie making out with other girls. I’m gonna say she ends up in the top 5. Arie wants a young girl to parade around for a little while. Lauren is probably trying to have kids tomorrow

Lauren S

The run on Lauren’s continues. We’ve got another social media manager on our hands. It’s funny thinking back to the first season of the bachelor and knowing how that job wouldn’t have even existed. When asked if she could be anyone in the world she went with ‘anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad’. You wouldn’t want to be....I don’t know....Taylor Swift instead? Not very lofty girls for this one. She’s an early out

Maquel

Maquel? Whatever. Guess we are just making names up at this point. Her favorite holiday is Halloween. She loves dressing up and creepy/scary stuff. I’m guessing she is more Cady and less Regina:

Marikh

Maybe the weirdest answer to a question that I’ve seen:

What? So you don’t want to accidentally confirm an incorrect assumption? Keep in mind that she was asked this question, had time to think it over, decided to go with that. I think Marikh might break down if asked where she wants to go to eat. “I love Olive Garden but I hate their breadsticks and salad and pasta so let’s go there”

Nysha

Nysha looks like she’s embarrassed to take this photo and have an official Bachelor headshot that will live forever. I don’t see Nysha doing real well this season. Her answer on favorite tv show and fictional character comes off as a bit “I don’t need no man”. Try not to make a scene when you don’t get a rose

Olivia

Olivia is 23. She looks even younger than that. Favorite book is 50 shades of grey. Not sure she was old enough to read that when it first came out. Do you think she secretly hopes Arie has a sex dungeon? Probably would have been a good intern for Matt Lauer. 

Seinne

I’m going to guess that Seinne is this year’s Rachel (you know what I’m getting at). Favorite tv show is Game of Thrones. I don’t care for the show. Watched the first season and couldn’t believe I wasted that much time. Don’t get the appeal at all. If I hear Dilly Dilly one more time I’m going to fucking lose it

Tia

Tia could win this year, be the girl that everyone hates, or be the next bachelorette. I’ll know by the end of the first episode, but right now I have no clue. I’m looking for key things in her answers and she says ‘sassy’ as well as having gone to a swingers resort. I’m going to go with the one everyone loves to hate. But I reserve the right to change my mind

Valerie

Valerie is a server in Nashville (failed country music artist). She’s 25 and has over 50 Halloween costumes. Maybe she celebrates it multiple times a year. I just hope she doesn’t have that thick twang when she talks. That’s so annoying

There they are. The desperate fame whores looking to make their mark January 1st. I do wonder about airing the premiere on the 1st. I know there isn’t a ton of crossover between individuals when it comes to the bachelor and college football, but I can imagine a fight or two between couples when it’s the football semi-finals vs bach premiere. The game airs on ESPN which is of course owned by ABC’s parent company of Disney. I would suggest holding off a week but the national championship game is played that next Monday. 

See ya after the premiere

- Nick

[armlickers]

Middle Of Everywhere World Tour :: Enmore Theatre :: June 22 2017

(Originally posted to my Dreamwidth on June 27 2017.)

+ + +

June 22nd featured not only my second show for the tour, but also my third-ever MOE and my seventh Hanson show overall. Rather than sit on my arse all day at the Enmore being babysat by the other fanclub members (and going crazy from boredom and the cold in the process), I chose to spend the day with a friend instead. We got Starbucks from QVB and went shopping at Broadway Shopping Centre, and she helped me pick out an outfit for the show that night to go with the jeans I was already wearing – a top from H&M, and a scarf and sandals from Kmart. We parted company just before four o’clock, and I caught a bus out to the Enmore to join the lineup for MOE.

That evening wasn’t without its share of drama, though. Full disclosure here – I have an anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder to be exact. One of my triggers is crowds, which until now hasn’t included the pit at concerts. And it picked Thursday of all days to flare up. I ended up having two anxiety attacks in fairly quick succession – one just after half past five, a little bit before we all went inside the Enmore for MOE, and the second one right after I joined the crowd on the dancefloor. A group of fans got me through the first one (which they are absolute angels for), while security took me out of the crowd and into the café next door so I could calm down for the second one. I knew there was no way I could go and stand in the crowd again, not without it triggering a third anxiety attack, so they found me a chair to sit on well back from the crowd. Aside from that, though, MOE was pretty awesome.

1. Somebody That Wants To Love You 2. Ghostwriter 3. Reach Out For My Hand 4. I Don't Want To Go Home 5. Call Out My Name (Zac solo, on piano) 6. More Than Anything (Isaac solo, also on piano) 7. Never Let Go (Taylor solo) 8. No Rest For The Weary 9. White Collar Crime

After the performance and the Q&A session, we had our group photos taken. I stood next to Isaac for mine with his arm around my shoulders (I usually stand with Taylor, so it was nice to change things up a bit), and as soon as it was done I worked up the nerve to ask for something I’d wanted for a very long time, ever since I became a Hanson fan – a hug from Taylor. He said yes without even hesitating. His hugs are amazing, and it made me feel a whole lot better after those bastard anxiety attacks knocked me around. It was quite possibly one of the best late birthday presents I could ever have hoped for.

Right before I went to buy my merchandise, I messaged my mum (a fellow Hanson fan) on Facebook to tell her what had just happened.

Being as these concerts were part of my overall birthday present (my birthday being right at the beginning of June, two weeks before the Sydney shows), I treated myself to plenty of tour merch – a tour shirt, a new hoodie, a CD copy of the Play EP, a keyring and a set of stickers. Went upstairs to find my seat after that.

Jason’s second Sydney set was much the same as the previous evening’s, with one small difference – the addition of a cover of John Farnham’s You’re The Voice that had been requested by my friend Alicia in place of the previous night’s 4 Non Blondes cover, one that he absolutely nailed. Hearing the entire crowd singing along just about made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

Nine o’clock heralded Hanson’s arrival onstage for the final time in Sydney this tour, and they treated us to another epic show.

1. I've Got Soul 2. A Minute Without You 3. Already Home 4. Waiting For This 5. Where's The Love 6. Look At You 7. Tragic Symphony 8. Thinkin' 'Bout Somethin' 9. I Will Come To You (piano/audience choir) 10. Juliet 11. Strong Enough To Break 12. Penny And Me 13. Watch Over Me 14. Yearbook 15. Too Much Heaven (a cappella) 16. On And On (acoustic) 17. I Was Born 18. Man From Milwaukee 19. Get The Girl Back 20. I'm A Man 21. Shake Your Tailfeather 22. Gimme Some Lovin' 23. Long Train Runnin' 24. MMMBop 25. If Only 26. Fired Up 27. In The City

Encore:

28. This Time Around 29. Long Way To The Top

Highlights of the second show were Yearbook, I Will Come To You, Too Much Heaven, I Was Born (yes, again – I fucking adore that song), This Time Around and Long Way To The Top.

After the show ended I headed back to Newtown station, caught the train to Museum and walked back to the hostel, and went straight to bed.

On Friday morning as I was packing my things to leave for home, I discovered that my camera had gone missing. A search of my room and all of my bags turned up nothing. Not knowing what else to do, I first fired off an email to the Enmore’s box office describing my camera and asking them to get in touch if it was handed in, and then went through to Reception to ask if they could keep an eye out for my camera and to call me if it turned up. I left the hostel shortly after, heading back into the CBD via World Square – I bought bandaids and chocolate milk from Coles, a custard bun from Breadtop, and four CDs from JB Hi-Fi (Nickelback’s new album Feed The Machine, and the three Birds Of Tokyo albums I was missing – Day One, Universes, and their live album The Broken Strings Tour). Caught a train to Waterfall from Town Hall station, changed to the all-stops to Port Kembla, and took a taxi home once my train arrived in Wollongong. I was so tired that I went to bed for a nap not long after I got home, and was woken up by a phone call from the Enmore just before five o’clock that afternoon – they’d found my camera! :D I thanked them for finding it and told them I would be there next week to collect it. I have never been so relieved that it’s turned up, and I am so thankful that the Enmore staff was able to track it down for me.

On June 26th I caught the train up to Sydney again, changing at Redfern for a train to Newtown, and walked back out to the Enmore to pick my camera up from the box office. The Enmore staff are absolute angels for not only finding my camera, but for hanging onto it for me until I could pick it up. I’m going to be much more careful with it in the future.

This tour was everything I could have hoped for. Two amazing shows, another epic MOE, and finally getting a much-longed-for hug from Taylor. As I said to my friend Kris over IM a couple of days ago, I’ve got my photo and my hug – I can die happy now. :D Definitely looking forward to seeing them again the next time they come Down Under.

Once again, thanks to the wonderful staff at the Enmore Theatre, I’m able to post my photos from Thursday evening. Unfortunately the battery of my camera died very early on during Hanson’s set, but I did manage to get photos during MOE. As mentioned in my previous post, the camera I used was a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FH1.

Instead of taking photos during Hanson’s second Sydney show, I went nuts posting videos on Instagram. Also as previously mentioned, my phone was a Samsung Galaxy S5.

Jason Singh's pretty much perfect cover of John Farnham's You're The Voice I Will Come To You Yearbook A cappella cover of the Bee Gees' Too Much Heaven I Was Born Man From Milwaukee Taylor rocking out during Long Train Runnin' MMMBop Taylor leading the crowd again on This Time Around The guys nailing Long Way To The Top

[justkeeponsimming]

100 Questions NO ONE ever asks!

I was tagged by the lovely @footiegirl04 and she was right, omg this is torture. Just wait for those I’m gonna tag! >:)

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? Closed, but my boyfriend usually leaves them open!

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? OF COURSE! I take everything that is “included” in the price! :3

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? Tucked in, but we only use a bottom sheet!

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? Yes, I stole a Bon Jovi concert poster off of a roundabout when I was 17!

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? Every day. I wouldn’t survive at work without them!

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? We don’t really have them here in the UK...

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? Bear! I’m not allergic to bears (and I’m dead either way <_<!)

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? All over my nose, down my arms and on my hands! :D

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? I don’t like taking photos of myself so no thanks! :)

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? People talking over the top of me. And hiccups! Dx

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? Nope! I’d get dizzy and walk into things!

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? I hate bugs so I avoid the woods as much as possible!

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? Read above!

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? All the time. I get bored standing and waiting for stuff! :)

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? No way! I hate it when other people do it too!

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? Just the one! ;)

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? Regular ol’ double!

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Thunder - Imagine Dragons!

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? Of course! Why should we limit all the pretty colours?!

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? I watch Star Wars Rebels - does that count?

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? X-Men 3 when they stupidly killed off Scott Summers >_<!

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? My purse because I’m a skrimper and never buy anything!

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? Water mostly, tea if not!

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? BBQ sauce. What else do you eat them with?

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Cottage Pie! 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? All of the Star Wars trilogy! <3

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? My boyfrienddddd.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? Nope! I was never cool enough! :(

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? Oh heck no. No one wants to see that!

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? I always send letters to customers at work, so quite common! :)

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? Uhhh no way. I’m not that clever!

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? No, which is a huge surprise!

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? No I am like...so paranoid of running out of petrol!

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? Chicken and pesto <3

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? Omlette! 

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 9:30pm to 10pm. I really am a little old lady! <3

37. ARE YOU LAZY? Yes. Always. All the time.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? Lara Croft! (strange, I know!)

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? The horse I think!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? English, British Sign Language, French, German and Mando’a! (star wars)

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? None, I don’t collect them!

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? Lego - what on earth is a lincoln log?

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? Not at all! I crumple all the time haha

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? Uhhh...who are they?

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? Used to watch Neighbours as a kid, but nothing since!

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Yup! Totally terrified. I have a fear of high buildings/ceilings too!

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? All the darn time!

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Never!

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? All the time. How can you sing and not dance?

50. EVER USED A GUN? Never. Does a water pistol count?

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? At my friends wedding last year! ^_^

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? I’m not a musicals fan but I don’t mind them!

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? I love Christmas. Shopping is my favourite part! <3

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? What on Earth is that?

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? Rhubarb!

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? Writer or a vet! :3

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? I believe in spirits. I love watching supernatural shows like GA! :)

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? Actually no. I’m not that lucky to live things twice!

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? I used to, but I haven’t for a long time!

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? Nope. I always fall over them.

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? Yes - like...all the time.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? Uhhh nothing?

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? Bon Jovi - I was lucky to go to an epic concert!

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? We have Asda Walmart so I guess I’ll pick that?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? Nike! :)

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? Wotsits. My guess is that’s the UK equivalent!

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? Sunflower seeds - not a big nuts fan! 

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Can’t say I have! :S

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? Yes - took ballet as a child and it was not fun! 

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? My boyfriend isn’t a big job person, he just works to provide for us! Same as me!

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Sure can!

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? I have never entered one - but I don’t think I’d do very well!

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? Yup. Probably something my boyfriend did!

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? I do not :(

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? Sadly not!

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? Nope. I have candles and stuffs but incense is too strong imo.

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes - I am now and I fall in love easily.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? Nickelback!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? Bon Jovi

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? Hot tea - when is it ever served cold? Like iced tea?

81. TEA OR COFFEE? Tea all the way!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? Sugar cookies are just biscuits right?

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? Nope, I have never learned to swim!

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? Not for more than like...10 seconds.

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? I am always patient, even when I shouldn’t be! :S

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? DJ. We know a guy who does karaoke/DJ so would be great at a wedding!

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? I won a contest on TV as a kid and won some colouring pencils?

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? No and I wouldn’t be brave enough to.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? None. Ewww olives!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? I cannot do either. I can barely cross stitch.

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? Lounge/living room (that’s where I always put them in the sims!

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? I would love to, if my boyfriend asks me again ^_^

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? Ask me this question in a few years!

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? No one. My family thought I was interested in the same gender for a long time. Truth was, there was no one at my school worth crushing on!

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? Never. I am such a push over!

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No - but maybe one day!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? Yes - but I have a genetic history of twins so....

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Green!

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? Yes - but he’s only in the next room so it’s not too bad!

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

Omg this took forever. Here we go with the tags: @simsoflove, @simalienn. @storylegacysims, @108sims, @pixeloasis, @snufkinsims, @ginassimming, @kotiij, @nadinemaee, @tacha75, @asterllum, @carmysims, @pooofy, @nutmegspicelatte, @stardustsims and anyone else who wants to do this!

[intheliteraturesense]

Shh...Let People Enjoy Things

When I was about…I honestly don’t know whatever a reasonable age to still be playing with Barbie dolls is (great memory you got there Shan lol), the ‘must have’ toy at the time was a convertible Bratz car.

For those unfamiliar with Bratz they were essentially Barbie’s big headed more fashion forward and trendy sisters, and the car….man the car was cool as shit! Not only could your dolls obviously fit inside said car, but it also had working flashing lights, a working horn and a radio built in, (I’m seriously not trying to sell you a Bratz convertible, I swear…) in short the thing was freaking amazing to a young mind. I, like every girl my age at the time desperately wanted one of these convertibles from Santa, but the reality was as it often is was that the car that Christmas was sold out everywhere! Every kid had been begging their parents for weeks and of course, parents in a panic most definitely ran to the store to pick up the must have item as quick as possible. This is not a new phenomenon, much as some people will have to believe by going on and on about the new must have item, it’s merely a repeated pattern in consumerism. I guess that fact is the point of this whole post to be honest, it’s the fact that we were all kids once and we all at one point or another wanted the must have item. Hell…I’m going to be honest here and say that you don’t even have to be a kid to want the newest must have item, I myself have been guilty of this and even my own mother bought a toy supposedly for my brother, but really her and her brother wanted to check out this Mr Frosty themselves. (Side note: They were highly disappointed as were most people during this time lol). We like to think of ourselves as bigger and better people, who don’t conform to these ideas or desires to have the newest gadget or toy but the reality is that sometimes it’s just in our nature. We’re excited by new innovative creations, even if they are as simple as a bloody convertible car for dolls that happens to also have radio. We’re people of simple pleasures, even if these things seem simple in design or useless in function we still find them amusing when they become mass produced and in our faces. I get a little frustrated when people complain on and on about the latest must have to be honest, because it’s rarely an argument on consumerism which would be understandable and relevant. It's usually more a case of “I don’t like this thing personally or find use for it, so I’m going to complain about how people are idiots for using it” which if I’m going to be brutally honest, makes you sound like a bitter old person because it’s just damn right stupid. Before you send me hateful comments, think about it for a second!

You probably love a book, movie, or type of music that if you’re like me a lot of people cannot stomach, right? (I’ll continue my quest to make people love the angsty sad music I love if it kills me) Eventually you move past that stage of insisting to people that the thing you like is somehow superior to the thing that they like and you accept the fact that neither is superior or inferior but that ��different strokes for different folks” meaning you both love different things and that that’s okay. In previous eras a lot of people including some of the famous critiques I actually look up to such as Theodor Adorno, would often argue that particular genres of things, literature or music for example would be more intellectually stimulating and therefore superior to other genres. Many people argued that these superior genres were highly beneficial to humanity as stimulated thought and action etc., rather than forcing people to mindlessly consume the product. In my opinion these guys may have had some very accurate points (which Adorno has many) but it’s important to remember there is also a high amount of cynicism in these arguments. People get so mad about things simply because they themselves don’t enjoy them or for a variety of personal reasons take offence to them, these things in modern times can be artists such as Ed Sheeran (whom has become sort of the Nickelback of 2017), or the fads of today such as the Pokémon Go craze or the more recent Fidget Spinners. Last Summer Pokémon Go hit the app store and we all went nuts, the mobile phone application was brought about under the idea of getting kids out and about rather than playing video games at home. Yes, we all remember our parents complaining about how we never leave the house and sit glued to a screen, so finally a new game set out to fix that problem which sounded awesome! However, I wonder did it change this argument from parents and did parents breathe a sigh of relief when it was announced people would actually have to leave their homes to play a game? Of course, it changed nothing and like most things it became just another thing to complain about. Granted there were/are many reported accidents, injuries etc. caused by this craze, which is a vital part of many arguments but these accidents were highly avoidable so if anything it proves once again that some people just do silly things and become the reason we have warning labels on everything. (We still have to remind people not to text and drive? Like seriously?! Lol). I fully take on the reality that yes, this craze had downsides, but damn can we stop being so damn serious for a minute.

I’m genuinely quite a sociable person, yet I find it hard to meet people as I rarely have the money to go out to clubs or bars etc. so for people like me or people who maybe suffer social anxiety more severe than myself, Pokémon Go became a tool to engage with people. Not only did it stop me staying inside reading or on my computer for all of the Summer which is highly likely to have happened without it, but it also provided an easy conversation starter. As so many people were playing this new must have, those people could talk to each other because of this commonality that they may not have had before. A lot of people, adults, young adults, kids etc. were getting out of the house, most for hours at a time being active in order to catch Pokémon, it seems funny but it’s actually pretty damn awesome. I’ve easily walked for several hours of the day around my town, just to catch some Pokémon and I’m known for being too lazy to walk for food. So why the cynicism then? Why do we have to ruin a good thing by pointing out only the downsides? People often say things like “Oh you could be reading a really good book” or learning a new skill, instead of playing something they deem useless and unstimulating. I despise this argument because of the high levels of snobbery it emerges from, these people too often follow these statements up with something like “I just need something more interactive and thought provoking in my life” as if they spend their evenings reading by candle light and don’t know what “TV dramas” are, give me a fucking break. The point is this argument falls completely flat because it can just about be used for bloody anything if you feel the need for it, for instance you can easily argue and I’m sure many boring  interesting people have that watching TV shows is in no way intellectually stimulating for us as human beings, but the reality is nearly every single person on this planet probably watches at least three shows religiously (damn my number of shows is that multiplied by 12 lol). If people get enjoyment out of something then damn, leave them to it. The world (especially right now) is a pretty freaking bleak place at times, sometimes it’s hard to be happy in this world so if you get amusement, joy or laughter from something be it a new game or a type of music etc. then that’s awesome! As human beings we should have evolved past this silly behaviour of shaming people for liking a particular thing, and actually just being happy they found something to enjoy in this world. I understand people in retail somewhat hating these fads as people desperately wanting the newest must have, sometimes can be quite awful to deal with but that has pretty much nothing to do with the must have but everything to do with those people. So to sum this blog up before I continue rambling on.

Please! Let people enjoy things. Don’t be a dick about something just because someone else enjoys it and you don’t. Don’t be a dick to people if they don’t enjoy it. Don’t be a dick to people in retail (cause damn they gotta deal with the general public who no offence is a lot dumber than we like to believe, do them a solid and be nice). In short, don’t be a dick.

*Authors Note* This post was heavily inspired by the following image by the hilarious, Adam Ellis.

Love & hugs, Shannon

[iwantasecretgarden]

Look at this photograph Every time I do it makes me laugh How did the tie get so red? And what the hell is on this guy’s head? The flag is from where I grew up I think the president will fuck it up I never voted him but i never doubt He’s going to get impeached out And this orange cheeto fool Always throwing fits, the shrew Squinting like his nuts got iced Been accused of ten dozen crimes I wonder if it's too late Should we go back and try to educate All the ignorant votes from back then If I was them I’d be ashamed of sin Oh, oh, oh Oh, god, I... Every instance of looking down on the poor Knowing that he would have bombed Darfur It's not hard to say it, time to say it: Goodbye, necktie. For every woman who he’s groped or been a boor Surrounding with delusions of grandeur It's not hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye, necktie. Remember when he got paid A million times minimum wage Wouldn’t let his taxes out They say somebody went and burned ‘em down He used to be a movie joke although The only two words that we ever know Were the ones that make us feel Like he’s not best for this country’s wheel The whole populace is pissed So please God cease and desist His crazy schemes and racist men And get rid of Vlad Putin Oh, oh, oh Oh, god, I Every instance of looking down on the poor Knowing that he would have bombed Darfur It's not hard to say it, time to say it: Goodbye, necktie. For every woman who he’s groped or been a boor Surrounding with delusions of grandeur It's not hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye, necktie. I miss Barack Even Bill Clinton But he can't erase He can't replace us America now I have to believe it So hard to stay Too hard to leave it If I could shout out and say This presidency needs to change!

Every instance of looking down on the poor Knowing that you would have bombed Darfur It's not hard to say it, time to say it: Goodbye, necktie. Every woman who you’ve groped or been a boor Surrounding with delusions of grandeur It's not hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye, necktie. Look at this photograph Every time I do it makes me laugh Every time I do it makes me...

Thank you. This is possibly my greatest contribution to the internet to date. Nickelback seemed appropriate.

[amsterdammotherfucker]

I copied and pasted my Torque liveblog from a private IM conversation with @playingwithroles just because I wanted to post it somewhere for posterity reasons :P

So they did a cool thing where the opening logo had a motorcycle speeding by noise over it that’s cool

Aaaaaaand the first scene is a drag race because of course it is.

THAT CHEESY EARLY 2000S THING WHERE THEY GO INSIDE THE MOTORCYCLE BLESS

Dude if this movie is intended as a parody of the Fast and the Furious series I will die

White dudebro protag’s jacket says “CARPE DIEM” across it lol

“What is it about driving cars that makes y'all such assholes” SERIOUSLY

JAY <3

SO I KIND OF LOVE THIS

JAY’S CHARACTER IS SO CUTE AND I’M DEAD

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CHEESY I’M IN LOVE

I’m just waiting for this to go bad XD

WHY IS JAY NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER AGAIN

HE’S SO FULL OF FIRE I LOVE HIM

JUST FUCKING HITS BUDDY IN THE FACE WITH HIS HELMET

Hi Ice Cube I forgot you used to be in movies

HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW WHO THIS WHITE DUDE IS

Ford, apparently, is protag’s name

ICE CUBE’S DOG IS NAMED DOJO

This movie’s soundtrack is bangin

Aaaaaand now we get all the unnecessary shots of half-naked girls at a car wash SAW THAT COMING

JAY’S CHARACTER FUCKING STANDING UP ON HIS BIKE WHILE IT’S MOVING I mean I know it was mostly a stunt guy but WOW

Enter token hetero love interest hi blondie who’s never been in any other movie

Her name is SHANE

HOMEBOY’S A DRUG DEALER???

She’s actually not a bad actress I feel bad for her

I LOVE HER???

If you kiss her I swear to god

OH GOOD ENTER VILLAIN #2 RANDO THAT LOOKS LIKE DOMINIC MONAGHAN BUT ISN’T

Oh goddammit Jaime Pressly you are too good for this shit and what do they have you wearing

I think this rando baddie might be in a poly relationship with both Jaime Pressly and his right hand dude

SMUGGLING DRUGS INSIDE OF BIKES. THIS MOVIE.

Okay, so Ford stole a bunch of bikes carrying drugs from baddie here

Ice Cube’s bratty ass little brother looks like a young Mahershala Ali but isn’t

I weirdly really like Ice Cube’s character even though he’s supposed to be a crime lord

If anything happens to that dog I will riot in the streets

This movie is HILARIOUS

JAAAAAAAAAAAAY <3

I just make heart eyes every time he’s onscreen he’s the cutest

Dude she told you she never wants to see you again, TAKE THE HINT AND BACK OFF

H O W

GOD DAMN IT YOU STOP HAVING GOOD CHEMISTRY I HATE THIS TROPE

Again, this soundtrack is BANGIN

YEAH ICE CUBE YOU TELL YOUR PUNK ASS BROTHER WHAT FOR

Oh you are sooooooo dead buddy

RANDO BADDIE’S BODYGUARD/BOYFRIEND JUST STRAIGHT UP MURDERED ICE CUBE’S BROTHER WITH A BIKE CHAIN

I’m not sure how I feel about this Chad Kroeger looking dude playing Ford, I can’t tell if he’s good or just good for this type of movie

The whole “I left to protect you from my crazy dangerous life” trope YEP

At least they have good chemistry

JAY

HE IS SO CUTE I WANT TO TAKE HIM HOME WITH ME

So now Ford’s being framed for murder thanks to rando’s girlfriend

WHAT EVEN IS THIS MOVIE

ADAM SCOTT IS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE????

BADASS LADY COP WITH CORNROWS

Ice Cube keeps talking about feeding people to his dog but I doubt human meat would be good for the pupper

THIS FUCKING NERD JAY SITTING ON TOP OF THE DINER BOOTH SEAT WHAT A FUCKING DELINQUENT I ADORE HIM

ALSO WHAT IS HIS NAME

Rando’s entire biker gang just standing in a row pissing on the side of a road CLASSY

Rando is named Henry, what a weirdly normal name

FORD IS NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL RACISM

Just because he’s a suspect for murder does NOT mean you can randomly shoot at him YOU’RE CIVILIANS

Jay: “I love a girl who can take care of herself” CAN I KEEP HIM PLEASE

Shane is weirdly badass I’m glad she’s not just a prop

THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS I LOVE IT

Ice Cube’s gang is called the REAVERS

Uncomfortable Firefly flashbacks

WHAT DO YOU KNOW JAY

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW

WE’RE JUST NOT GONNA EXPLAIN HOW JAY KNEW THAT OR DID I MISS SOMETHING

Val to Jay’s character: “Try not to bite your lip so much when you think” SAME

JAY BEING ALL “GET A ROOM” AT SHANE AND FORD I’M DEAD

So Ford just CALLS THE FBI AGENT FROM A PAYPHONE OKAY

Adam Scott is fucking hilarious he’s too good for this movie

Ford: “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time” Shane: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” I LOVE THIS MOVIE

Dalton, right, THAT’S Jay’s character’s name, how did I forget XD

This is weirdly a really cool chase scene

WHO’S THIS GUY HE LOOKS LIKE SNOOP DOGG

Shane WHACKS this dude in the face with a tube thing and goes “you shouldn’t pick on girls” I LOVE THIS

BUDDY DRIVING HIS MOTORCYCLE THROUGH A BUS

BECAUSE THAT’S A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN

OH IT’S A TRAIN

DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER

NO BOYS WE DO NOT DRIVE ON TRAIN TRACKS NO MATTER HOW COOL AND DRAMATIC IT LOOKS

Slow-mo explosion, I was waiting for that XD

So Ford saved Ice Cube’s life so now he knows Ford didn’t kill his brother BECAUSE OF COURSE

DALTON IS SO FUCKING CUTE I’M GONNA DIE

Dalton: “First time Val and I’ve beat you anywhere! Must be the chick!” Shane: “Yeah, stopped for a manicure” *flips Dalton off* Dalton: *impressed smile*

VAL JUST MAGICALLY SWIPING THE CHIPS FROM DALTON

i love Adam Scott so much

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CHEESY ROMANCE

I LOVE DALTON I LOVE HIM

BIGGEST MOST ADORABLE IDIOT IN THE UNIVERSE PROTECT HIM

I have no idea what just happened I was distract by Dalton being a cutie pie

This movie is DEFINITELY a F&F parody

DANE COOK???????

LIST THAT UNDER “SHIT I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE IN THIS MOVIE” A DANE COOK CAMEO

THESE MORONS JUST STOLE A RACE CAR

BLESS

DO NOT MAKE OUT WHILE YOU’RE DRIVING

Ford jumps on the back of Dalton’s bike so they can swap out, Dalton: “I always knew you had a thing for me!” I LOVE HIM

Ford please do not wreck Dalton’s bike

Or your face

THIS MOVIE IS SO RIDICULOUS AND OVER THE TOP IT’S GREAT

FORD DO NOT PUNCH ICE CUBE HE JUST SAVED YOUR ASS

REALLY??????

METH BIKES

OF COURSE

Dalton taking swings at a punching bag back at the garage bLESS

Dalton: “I eat when I’m nervous!” Val: “He eats when he’s horny, too. He just likes to eat” KILL ME

ADAM SCOTT WAS A DOUBLE AGENT

NOOOOO LADY COP IS DEAD

THEEEEEEERE IT IS. DALTON AND VAL NABBED AND ALL TIED UP WITH CHAINS HOW EXTRA

THEY GOT SHANE TOO

Ew Henry stop being creepy right now. His girlfriend’s creepy too

LADY COP LIVES

ATTA GIRL SHANE KICK HENRY IN THE NUTS

EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT ONCE

BODYGUARD BOYFRIEND GOT TAKEN OUT SO FAST AND HILARIOUSLY

I’m sure Val and Dalton can fight well on a good day, Henry’s boys are just fucking crazy

I LOVE LADY COP SHE FINALLY DID SOMETHING USEFUL

Oh, no this scene. Shane vs. Henry’s girlfriend China

It’s like every cliche catfight scene ever but on motorcycles

PRODUCT PLACEMENT

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

That was just plain cringe worthy

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW PHYSICS WORK

ANOTHER EXPLOSION

IS THAT ROBERT BARATHEON DRIVING THE BUS

IS THAT FUCKING NICKELBACK SINGING US OUT

IT IS TOO

AND THEY ALL WENT TO MEXICO AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

LITERALLY THAT’S THE END OF THE MOVIE

I enjoyed that way more than I was expecting to XD