#that he only cares about saving the worker because it would be tied to saving q!Bad from himself

[petrichormore]

u know what i think is interesting tho. q!Bagi suggesting that q!Bad kidnap Fred. is she mad he kidnapped an innocent worker or is she just mad he lied to her about it?

It’s fascinating that some islanders disapprove or act disapproving of q!Bad’s actions but aren’t willing to actively do anything to stop him nor get involved nor snitch. Which is fair, i mean, the only people they can snitch to are the federation and the belief that islanders come first is probably the correct one; and none of them can really stand up to him even as a group - q!Etoiles perhaps being the exception. but just. Hm.

[haloberry]

Creation was made to reconstruct Tubbo and to protect the eggs.

Both of these statements while technically right, are not the full story.

See, Creation actually only collects the data for the reconstruction, that he gives to “center control” which I find hella interesting.

It’s mentioned more than once, in relation to “Lower Ranks will be killed to save Higher Ranks” and “I will not be doing the hurting”

They said, “That would be for Center Control” and “We must find the data so then Center Control can reconstruct it.”

… WHO THE FUCK IS CENTER CONTROL HOE??

I think, Tubbo was a partner to the Federation— while not a worker— he was someone that knew the ins and outs of the federation as he was a main source of information and power.

I think the reason Tubbo got iced was because he found out about the eggs, and was iced for being too caring of them.

It makes sense to me, since there is no logical fucking way I can see q!Tubbo just building a whole revival and pocket-dimension-creating entity without SOME type of overpowered item. Which, just so happens, the Federation has.

He was deemed a wild card and got iced, NOT BEFORE, he created Creation and Center Control incase anything happened to him or the eggs.

I think Creation is tied to q!Tubbo’s psyche/mind, and created the ranking system off of that. While also always knowing where he is, and knowing when he’s died.

About what q!Tubbo is, I can’t say. Personally, I do think he’s flesh and bones, but the same way the workers are flesh and bones. Not human, never human, but not a robot either.

I’m still a fan of the chip-implant theory, that all the Iced have a ‘sleeper agent’ chip in them that the Federation uses to listen in and gather info, which would also tie into how Creation knows where Tubbo is at all time bc Tubbo hacked the chip to do so.

Plus, also ties in with the Original Islanders theory too!

[atopvisenyashill]

I know the ep just aired but as a fellow Saera stan, do you have any headcanons on her relationship with Hugh? We got breadcrumbs from his lines about how he was told he was “just as good as her brother’s boys” but I’m always interested to see how other fans interpret these breadcrumbs

YES. I fully expect some of this to get Joss-ed it's fine.

Okay first of all, I have always loved the idea that Saera named all her kids after her, and so I have now added the headcanon that Hugh changed his name when he immigrated to Westeros for like Saergar to Hugh. We know I like funny stuff, but I suppose I’ve also always felt like Saera just loses it once she’s in Essos. She spent a year being subjected to some sort of religious abuse, after being forced to watch her father murder her boyfriend for having pre marital sex with her, and then becomes a sex worker herself (and that's not even getting into the sexual abuse she definitely experienced at Jaehaerys hands). For comparison, I kind of imagine the Sailor’s Wife, who is clearly working through some shit with her ritual, but crueler and sharper. She’s using her job as a sex worker to work through her own sexual trauma, and I bet some of it is not healthy or healing at all, it’s just retraumatizing herself. I think probably she became slightly more balanced when moved to Volantis and owned her own brothel, or at least, I hope she became slightly more balanced. I’ve always imagined that she very much parentifies every single one of her children, acting more like a crazy party loving sister than a mother, but most of them don’t mind that she does this because they have picked up on the fact she went through something god awful back home. Also, because she makes a lot of money for herself, I do imagine the fact that their mom is just a crazy rich lady is easier to swallow (being comfortable money wise always makes these things easier to swallow).

I like the idea that Hugh left because he wanted an identity that wasn't tied to the Targaryens and specifically to his mother's clearly insane mental state. He’s one of the handful of Saerlings that was born in Lys, so things were still shaky, they didn’t have their own place, they were living in the brothel, they would play in the tavern area while she took clients, and it bothered him that this was how they lived. So he sheds the name she gave him for one more Andal sounding, he comes to King’s Landing with a bit of money, an apprenticeship lined up, and a story about how his parents were simple Lyseni merchants who died before he could make any lasting memories of them.

I think he always felt very different from the rest of the his siblings. I like to imagine he is one of the oldest, at least the oldest boy, and very much felt a fatherly sort of responsibility towards his mother. I think he resented the fact that not only did none of his siblings share his worry over her increasingly deranged mental state, they seemed to think that owning her own brothel would work better for her, would help her. He thought she should completely leave sex work and retire somewhere simple, give up what he feels is a ~life of sin. It's not that he thinks his mother is sinful, it's that he thinks she's sick and being preyed upon by others. While everyone else was fascinated with her drunken rants about Westeros, Hugh was always horrified. Horrified at the stories she told of parents who did not take care of her, of daughters sold off to husbands at too young an age, of wars fought atop terrifying beasts in the sky. He wanted to save her, his fallen Madonna of a Mother, from the ghosts that haunted her.

When she moved the family to Volantis, he finally left. He couldn't take watching her self destruct anymore. It's not until his own little girl is sick and starving to death that he remembers how much being wealthy is a boon in times of strife. And suddenly his mother's stories of dragons aren't so terrifying...what if he's strong enough to protect Kat on his own? If he goes in with his eyes wide open to the kinds of people the Targaryens are...what if he can beat the demons that consumed his mother?

[cherr-22]

TNGDH 23

The day was warm and clear.

I stood before Belial, Sen, and the carriage at the castle entrance. Sen, who was gazing up at the castle, wore a thick velvet cloak and had her hair lightly tied up.

As if to prove the description within <Winter’s Heart> was not an exaggeration, she who stood before the Northern sun was more beautiful than ever.

Even a proud prince would fall in love with her. In fact, even the prince may not be worthy of Sen.

“Thank you very much, Your Highness the Grand Duke. ……I apologize for leaving so suddenly.”

Kyle looked down at Sen with his signature reticent expression.

Despite receiving no response back, Sen smiled. Perhaps because it looked as if Kyle was supporting her in silence.

Kyle Blake was that kind of person. Contrary to his cold and blunt attitude, he was someone who truly worried and cared for his people.

Sen smiled brightly.

“I will do well no matter where I am. I will never forget the favor you have given me.”

“Good.”

Kyle replied blandly, but the short response and his gaze conveyed the feelings he had for the one who had been one of his people until now.

I did not talk with Sen. After all, we have already said what was needed to be said and heard out one another. So all we did was exchange a reassuring glance with each other one last time.

Belial stood quietly. He briefly came over to thank me for saving him during the chandelier incident, and then gave Kyle a smug look while exchanging a few words in an arrogant tone. Despite this, the atmosphere between the two was not as heavy as it had been in the study.

Kyle also didn’t seem to want to create any trouble so he held out his hand as a goodbye to Belial.

Yeah, yeah. You must be happy to take Sen with you. Don’t regret it and come crying later and live well. Don’t act rash even if you are going to take revenge, and don’t bother Kyle anymore.

I glared at Belial for him to hurry up and leave. Thankfully, he quickly left as I had hoped. Seeing the carriage move far into the distance gave me a sense of relief.

“I thought something would happen.”

“My words exactly. It’s as if I grew 10 years older…….”

“I still dream about the chandelier. Damn it…….”

Hearing that, I felt Kyle staring at me. I was glad that my back was turned towards him to not be burdened with that gaze.

However, my eyes were still fixed on the carriage. It felt strange to see the carriage move further and further away, slowly turning into a black dot. Why did it look as if it were being swallowed by the fog.

‘……Whatever. I’m just having useless worries.’

The biggest problem is me, who had to live most of the day as a hamster after all.

“You asked me to follow you to the study for a moment to check on the demonic beast, right?”

Kyle caught on my signal that I wanted us to quickly leave. I only had two hours a day. Time is gold so let’s go, Your Highness the Grand Duke.

If it was the inside of the castle, I now knew all the routes like the back of my hand. It was all thanks to my previous life’s ability to find the cafeteria no matter where I was in the company. Office workers who lack energy always do their best to walk even a single step less.

“Let’s see. This way should be the fastest?”

I walked ahead with long strides. Of course, to Kyle, this would be like a duck showing off in front of a swan, but he decided to follow me from behind.

Soon we went up the stairs to the study. Climbing up the spiral staircase, climbing up more, climbing……

……My steps began to slow down. To be more accurate, I began to slow down from the fifteenth step. It seemed even my office worker’s stamina was brought over with the ‘Summon’ skill……

“Shit. What kind of place doesn’t have an escalator…….”

“Hm?”

Kyle came close. I grumbled back.

“Well, it’s nothing special.”

You don’t even know what an escalator is. Sigh, tsk. As expected of a countryside Northern hillbilly. 

“The stairs move on its own, carrying people all the way up to the top without needing them to climb.”

“…….”

Kyle looked at me as if he had just heard the biggest joke of the century, and then picked me up.

“The stairs won’t move as they are stuck to the wall, but I understand that you are feeling tired.”

“No wait, excuse me…….”

He just picked me up like some luggage.

I glanced at Kyle once and then at the top of the stairs in the distance once, and quickly put aside my resistance. Well, we’re only going to the study so what’s the issue anyway.

While he steadily climbed the stairs, I opened the store.

[Love Love Corner~❤]

……I will never get used to this.

[Current Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×323]

[Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness (Duration : 30 minutes) ｜ ❤×100]

Hold on, the last time I saw it was 320 hearts. Where did the other three hearts come from? Does it increase on its own too?

No matter how much it increased, it was still barely 300 hearts. To need 100 for a single replica hamster…… this would mean it would take a third of what I have now.

How expensive, really expensive.

I glared into a random space in the air.

Do something about the price.

[(〃｀ 3′〃)]

Why. Let’s be honest here, this isn’t cheap at all. And the fact that it’s specifically the replica hamster that I need right now to be so expensive.

……Huh? Wait a second.

[（*゜ー゜*）]

Don’t avoid my eyes.

I narrowed my eyes at the system and hesitantly purchased the replica hamster. Then, a system window decorated with pink hearts popped up.

[‘Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness’ has been stored into the inventory!]

‘No. That’s not it!’

You’ve got to put it in the cage, not the inventory! If I pretended to take my hand out of the pocket and say, ‘Ta-da, your hamster is here~’…… the moment I say ‘ta-da’ would be the moment when my head flies off. Do you not know of Kyle’s personality!?

[‘Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness’ has been stored into the inventory!]

How shameless.

“Haaa…….”

Kyle’s arm slightly shook as he heard my sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“It sure is hard to make a living.”

“Do you lack in money?”

“I wouldn’t say I have a lot for sure. So, in return for taking care of the demonic beast, please pay me plenty.”

As I said that, Kyle opened the door to the study with the other arm that wasn’t holding me.

“I asked for your help first, so I have no intention of providing just a small compensation for your work.”

Good. I couldn’t use my first payment since I have transmigrated, earning Miracle Points was painfully difficult, and the Love Love whatever spent one point every three minutes. I hope to earn a lot of money from now on.

“I will look forward to it.”

We stood in front of the hamster house. Naturally, he began to look for Cashew by lifting up the nest and other items in the house.

“Where did it go?”

It’s obviously not there, you dunce. Because I’m over here.

I imagined pounding myself in the heart with my fist in frustration. I can’t even tell you that I’m your pet hamster. I’d love to tell you but I can’t!

Anyway, move out of the way.

“If you search so abruptly, wouldn’t the beast be surprised and scared.”

Kyle’s hand paused in place. He then nodded in agreement.

“……That makes sense. I’m sorry.”

The apology was most likely towards Cashew. Well, Cashew was also me though.

I nudged him out of the way and carefully patted around the sawdust. How to take out the replica as discreetly as possible……

“You can just touch it. It's clean.”

He said with pride in his voice.

“Cashew potty-trained itself. Isn’t it a genius?”

……Are you crazy? If I went to the bathroom anywhere I wanted, I’d be a beast not a human…… you might be right, in your eyes I must look like a genius.

I looked at him with conflicting emotions in my heart. Kyle truly seemed happy.

“Sooner or later, it’ll start talking too. How cute and clever it is.”

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×224]

Wouldn’t it be strange if it started talking? No way would a demonic beast would speak like a human. My baby has already called me ‘dad’! Is this what you wanted to happen?

You must be plenty happy just thinking about it……

“You look like you’d cry in happiness if your demonic beast really started talking.”

Kyle quieted down for a moment. It seemed he was really imagining what it would be like if Cashew started talking. What was there to imagine though. Can’t you see me chattering away.

While he was occupied, I quickly took out the replica hamster.

“Ah, here it is.”

Act natural. Act natural.

I’m a magician. I was a magician in my past life. I was a magician that shocked the whole nation with a single dove, a piece of cloth, and a hat. I could definitely fool at least one Northern Grand Duke as easy as blowing my own nose.

I pretended to carefully look over the replica hamster in my hands.

‘Hmm.’

This was rather detailed. It breathed, blinked, and moved around like an actual hamster.

When I flipped the replica over to pretend to examine its stomach, Kyle muttered something strange.

“Something’s a little different…….”

I flinched for a moment. ……He knew the difference? What was different? The appearance? Or its behavior?

The replica hamster cried out a squeak. See, the replica could also squeak. Even the voice sounded the same.

However, Kyle frowned even more after hearing it.

“I wonder if it’s hurting anywhere? It’s usually not this quiet.”

“How do you know?”

The system could take note of the difference. Now, give me a thorough feedback.

Kyle’s response was unexpected.

“I know it through love.”

“Love…….”

He was completely charmed. ……I will never get used to this.

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×225]

Different from the Miracle Points, Hearts could increase without doing anything. Right, let’s cheer up. Who knows when another expensive item will appear.

I glanced at Kyle, turned my back slightly, and moved the replica hamster around to pretend to check on it.

“Let’s see, our cute demonic beast.”

Kyle spoke softly behind me.

“My demonic beast.”

Whatever. Stop being possessive and giving me envious looks.

“There are no problems and it is very healthy. However, its weight is a little…….”

Did I really eat that much? I’m starting to feel guilty now that I’m saying it out loud.

“He’s a bit chubby, but there shouldn’t be any problems. You can just leave it alone for now. Since it is in its growth stage, don’t feed it only vegetables. Raw food can also ruin its stomach. Surely you’re not giving it any mealworms or other live food, right? ”

Kyle flinched.

“……I heard rodents like those kinds of stuff. It can learn to hunt too.”

“How savage. Are you planning to raise and release it in the North in the future?”

I spoke harshly on purpose as I carefully placed the replica hamster back into its house.

“Don’t give it anything weird and feed it what humans would eat. Cooked beef, chicken, or something. Demonic beasts can eat oily food quite well so there is no need to feed it only boiled food. ”

That’s right. Boiled food tastes bad. Would telling him to season it be taking things too far?

“Give it some fruits too.”

Kyle listened and nodded seriously.

“Yes, then I’ll do that. But since Sen is no longer here, it would be difficult to procure all those things…….”

He glanced at me as if asking me to take care of it myself. It’s important to meet Kyle in person like this often anyways, and two hours would be more than enough each day.

I nodded with an earnest expression on my face. All for the sake of a quality life of a pet hamster.

“Thank you.”

Kyle said honestly.

“How should I say this…… Right, thanks to you, I can let go one of my worries. In return for caring for Cashew, is there anything you want?”

What is there to think about.

The price of all hard work is, of course,

“Money.”

I flipped my hand and formed a circle using my thumb and index finger as I said that.

“Money is good enough.”

“…….”

“If possible, a lot.”

Now, let’s start shaking the duke’s wallet upside down. If you want to keep a pet hamster, you have to have a lot of money, alright?

--------------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Idea: Information Warfare

Analysis is Midoriya Izuku’s only hobby. He could almost count sketching, but considering all he drew were heroes, it was probably a stretch. Still, he didn;t think anything would come of it, but when he sees the news reporting about a villain at large with a telekinesis quirk when he knows it’s gravity manipulation - well. He has to tell someone. Bad info could get them killed.

Sir Nighteye very rarely receives fan emails, even with his history of being All Might’s only sidekick, so it’s still agency policy to read each one. When what is clearly an information broker pops up in his emails, sending packet after pack of analysis on active cases, he sees it. He isn’t stupid enough to dismiss it either.

When the information saves his young intern’s life, he gets invested.

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these, huh? Lets hope I’m not too rusty.

So, set when Izuku is in his second last year of middle school, about 13 years old. His father told him his mother left when he was 8, they up and left Mustutafu and he hasn’t seen her since. Midoriya Hisashi is negligent and mean, doesn’t care where his son is as long as he can’t see him and no cops or heroes end up at his door.

Not a villain because it’s too risky, but he works as a laborer and doesn’t really care about how dodgy the job is. Make enough money for himself to live comfortably in a low income area. Doesn’t make enough to live comfortably with a son - so he pays the bare minimum heeded to keep social services off his back.

He considered sending the emails to All Might, but he knew they’d get buried under all the fan mail he’s constantly sent, and he trusted Nighteye to not brush it off instantly.

Hes not exactly shocked when the man assumes hes an information broker - technically he almost is, he’s just not charging for it. And only sending information to one person. Ok so he’s probably more an informant, and being associated with villains is kinda rough, but it lends him a lot of credibility if they think he has better connections to the underworld than a wifi hotspot, a house in a shady area and some security cameras someone else hacked into.

Nighteye asks if he’d be willing to meet up, which Izuku declines. Undeterred, he asks if Izuku would instead be ok with joining in on a briefing via video. It’s a terrible idea, but he can’t help but say yes. He keeps his camera off and taped over, and downloads to voice modulation program.

He also spends a solid hour trying to think of an alias. He picks Snitch. Thats what they think he is, and he’s been called as much before for asking for help. It’s different, this time.

it takes him a while to feel comfortable chiming in - he’s use to what happens if he tries. but he’s not Deku right now, not here. He’s an information broker. He’s Snitch. He could blow the underworld right open if he set his mind to it.

He helps plan their attack better, draws maps through floorplans for the most effective routes to check the rooms of interest, marks the most likely places for the goods to be hidden. With his information they are in and out in 20 minutes. It’s shockingly effective.

Nighteye was interested before. Now he’s invested.

Snitch is clearly a social outcast, but hes practised enough at social interaction that hes not totally isolated. Unlikely to have any strong social ties, which reduces the likely hood of him working for any specific group. He’s probably a contract worker, maybe didn’t choose villainy but fell into i. He could still be helped. He could get an information hero license, really help. But first, he has to find him.

In Mutsutafu, a mother looks for her son, kidnapped by his father when he was 8 years old. An angry boy feels crushing guilt for letting it happen - Deku was right there and he just let the bastard take him and run.

They still search.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Sixteen (Part 2)

When we park the car, we walk through the village together until we reach the brightest, most neon spot in town. I can’t help but to laugh when I realise that Jude expects me to go inside. 

“The arcade? Seriously?”

“Come on, don’t you just love this place?”

“I never went in, I was too embarrassed to be seen here before.” I laugh. “This is the oldest, tackiest, most decrepit place in town. Nobody even hangs out here except for twelve year old boys.”

“Not true.”

“When’s the last time you were here?”

“When I was twelve.”

“Point proven.”

“Not because I got too cool for it, though. I got banned for life.”

“What? Why?”

“I told you before, I was a bad child.” He takes my hand and leads me towards the bright swirling neon through the open door. It’s deserted, save for a solitary worker standing behind the counter of the snacks bar, wiping the same spot over and over again. He barely even looks up as we enter. 

“What could you possibly have done to be banned from this place?”

“I was a button basher and a terroriser. I kept beating this one really angry kid in that game over there by using the same move over and over until he tackled me into a vending machine and cracked the glass.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Yeah.” He shrugs.“ That boy was the worst kid around, he reminded me of Josh Peck in that Mean Creek movie, but I was potentially the second worst. I used to get in trouble so often that it was unbelievable.”

I’m amused by this image of him, a smaller Jude, getting up to all kinds of outrageous hijinks, a menace to sensible adults all over this village, and I don’t doubt it for a second. He’s calmer now, but even when he was eighteen a little piece of that wildness still hung around, the remnants of a little boy who had no concept of the rules. “What else did you get up to when you weren’t being adequately supervised?”

“Well I kept throwing tennis balls at an ice cream truck until he stopped coming into the caravan parks. Last I heard he still doesn’t come around, like, ten years later.” I lean back against an arcade machine and burst out in giggles. “Oh my God.” I snort. “I don’t know why, but that’s so funny.”

“You love it!” He says, pretending to be shocked. “You love that I was a terrible child. I’m telling you about the worst things about me and you think it’s funny!”

“I do, I think it’s so funny.” 

“I’ll only be encouraged to misbehave even more if I know that girls like it.”

“Why were you so bad? What compelled you?”

He leans an arm against the machine, moving his body very close to mine. “I don’t know, I’d just always find myself in the middle of causing trouble, usually because other boys laughed when I did things, like scrape butter out of my chicken roll and smear it on a random bicycle seat, or whatever. It was all for the immediate funniness. I think if I’d been born a decade later or my parents were more interested in me I would have had to be assessed for some sort of behavioural issue.”

“Do you think you actually had one?”

“I dunno.” His eyes drift away, already thinking about something else. “Let’s not get into these kinds of things. Do you want to play Mortal Kombat?”

“Well, it’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?” 

He beats me twice in a row, because he’s button bashing. 

“If you’re not careful I’ll put you through the Coca Cola vending machine.” I warn him. “The Josh Peck boy was right, you have very poor sportsmanship.” 

“You’re only saying that because you’re losing.” He says, and then beats me again. He does a little victory lap around the arcade, which infuriates me, so I enter the next game with laser focus and steely determination as though my life depends on success. I leave him floundering with his lowest score yet, and he crumples onto the joystick in defeat. 

“So there!” I announce, and I stick my tongue out at him.

“You’re ruthless and cruel.” He declares, and then we have a rematch and I beat him twice more in a row. 

The final match feels more serious, tied now, three all, and we stop talking, stop teasing each other and focus on the game. Jude tries all of the dirty tricks in the book, but I know the game by now. Unlike him I have learned the controls of the game and I have complete authority over the joystick and buttons. I know I’m going to win before I do, because he gets frustrated and annoyed, and completely loses his edge. I cry out in triumph when my character rips his character’s heart out and Jude lets out a pained yelp, as though that’s exactly what I’ve just done to him. 

“Good game, Evie.” He concedes, after a long, anguished pause. “But I’m not playing against you again.”

“Good. I absolutely hate your play style, and you’re a sore winner.”

“From now on we should only team up”

“I agree, we’d be horrible and unstoppable.”

“Do you still fancy me after witnessing me at my worst and most toxic?”

I grin. “If that’s you at your most toxic then I think I fancy you more, actually.” I push past him towards an old jukebox by the wall. “Which probably says something about me, I don’t know. Maybe I should be psychologically assessed.”

“For liking bad boys?”

I snicker. “You think you’re a bad boy?”

“I think that you think I’m a bad boy.”

“No, I think you’re very sweet and kind and quite soft, actually.” I dig around in my pocket for a spare coin or two. “Sorry.”

He leans against the wall next to me like a quarterback against some cheerleader’s locker in a high school film, and it shouldn’t make me feel girlish and shy, but it does. My whole body tingles even though he’s not even touching against me. “Is that really what you think?”

“Are you flattered or insulted?”

“Well I’m flattered. I think that about you too, coincidentally.” 

“Pick a song.” I tell him. “Let’s see if this thing even works.”

“Give me the old classic, Surfin’ in the UK.”

“What?” I chuckle. “I think you’ve got that wrong.”

“No, look.” He points to the song selection at the front and I run my eyes down the most egregious list of knock off hits I’ve ever seen. There’s Hotel Florida, Puppy Dog, Nine Days a Week, Free Tumblin’, and somewhere near the middle is Surfin’ in the UK. “This is ridiculous.” I say as I hit the button and the speakers crackle to life. “Why don’t they just get the real songs?”

“Cheap,” Jude explains, and bobs his head as though he’s enjoying the strange song that almost, almost sounds like the Beach Boys, only for its weird, tuneless melody that never quite progresses to the expected or most obvious chord. 

“My God, this is awful,” I say, and he’s already doing a silly little shuffle dance across the worn out carpet. “What are you talking about? It’s a certified banger,” He reaches out his hand to me and sings in falsetto “And all the blokes are surfin’, surfin’ in the UK.”

“Don’t make me dance to this.”

“What? Nobody is watching.” He takes my hands in his while I laugh, and he laughs too, because it’s just funny. There’s always something funny about being together, even when I know that everyone else would think we’re being stupid, but when I’m around him I always feel just a little less embarrassed of myself. The same kind of childish, light headed giggliness I get when I breathe helium from a balloon.

The arcade machines and the neon on the walls blink and flash bright colours against his skin and his sleek, glossy dark hair, and everything is noise, light and sensation. Beeps and bings and 8 bit graphics and electronic chip music, all blend discordantly with the tinny music from the jukebox, but when he holds my waist and kisses me slowly everything else fades away. 

My body surrenders to him immediately, but this is what he does to me. This is why I feel afraid of the ways that I feel, because with him, as with nobody else, I feel like I can understand better why people do insane things for sex. How a person can just forget where they are and do it wildly and indiscriminately in cars or public bathrooms or in other kinds of places that used to make me feel confused and disgusted. I always knew, as I know right now, that it wouldn’t take much convincing on his part to get me out of my jeans. 

“Evie.” He says, and his eyes are soft and hot at the same time. “Should we go back to Dublin soon?”

Why is he asking me this? “No.” I whisper back, and hold his face so that I can let my eyes stumble all over it. “No, why?”

“Because if you think we should then I figure we should go soon. This place closes at ten.”

“Can we stay tonight?”

“At the beach house?” He is surprised, and I nod. “Yeah. Would that be okay?”

He gives me this dirty grin that I’ve never seen before. “That’d be fine with me.”

“Not to do anything.” I add quickly. “Not to, you know… this isn’t an invitation for anything untoward. I just don’t want to go home yet.”

“Of course. There’s other rooms you can sleep in, I don’t expect you to sleep in with me.”

“Arlight.” I say, feeling a bit relieved. “That sounds good.”

“Well then, are you ready to head back to the house?”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially (does it even have the right to be called that anymore?)) Daily ask №10

Relationships edition!

Which two characters have the closest relationship between the crew?

What relationship dynamic do you wish you got the chance to use in fault or the chance to use more it often?

What duo/trio do you think didn't get much screentime but you personally really like the idea or vibe of?

What relationship between side characters is your favourite?

What relationship dynamic would make absolutely no sense in the context of the fic but would be absolutely amazing nonetheless? (Ex. A duo that would be great and heartbreaking as enemies but would never become enemies due to the plot)

Also, not a question and not even related to the theme, but I would really like to hug everyone in the main crew + Ranboo (assuming they're not a pile of ashes and a skull) please

Spoilers and mistakes, as always!

1.Tommy and Tubbo not even close. Which is funny since they've known each other the least amount of time, but they sorta latched onto each other to survive trauma and are insuperable now. After so, so long of total isolation, Tommy having a friend who can literally always be with him is like a dream. It's almost impossible to ever feel abandoned. And for Tubbo, they can see a lot of the awful things that are happening in the Foundation, and Tommy was like the one source of comfort they could see. He taught them how to survive and fight and live. At this point, the only way each knows how to care about themselves is through caring for the other. It's not perhaps ideal but it does work better than any other of their disastrous coping mechanisms.

2. I adore me a dark Phil. Not that scp Philza isn't a rough character, but he isn't a full on antagonist like he is in Mandatory Family Reunion or Lord!. One of my favorite dynamics of all time is insanely overpowered villain father and his kidnapped, seething, and suicidal hero kid, but while echoed in Fault it doesn't really get there.

3. The relationships between all of the main five get pretty heavily explored for the most part. I guess The Blade and Wilbur's dynamic gets the least focus out of all 10 possible duos? But eh. I do really like Philza and Kristin but I knew absolutely nothing about her when I first started Fault. I don't really see a way she'd fit in unfortunately. Which is a shame because Phil being a wifeguy is a lot of fun, and Kristin is so sassy and sweet.

4. My favorite side character relationship is unpublished and deep in spoilers alas. Most other side characters are pretty tied up how they relate to the protags, so we're digging deep for this one. Slimecicle/Charlie and Maureen (a guard he posesses) is actually a fascinating dynamic to me for all they have like maybe two scenes. It reveals interesting new shades to how the Foundation functions, since even teritiary characters bring new perspectives to the situation. I love the contrast between their POVs, with Maureen struggling to protect her coworkers versus Charlie's surprisingly sharp rebuttal about the Foundation destroying innocence and lives, or the contrast between Charlie's jocularity versus Maureen's mortal terror.

And mixing body horror with stupid puns is just fun!

"I’ve just dapped [Maureen] up!” At [Lawrence's] utter bewilderment, Charlie kindly explained, covering his faux mouth with his hands and stage whispering. “It means I’ve slipped between her muscles and am piloting her like a skin mecha. Like Pacific Rim! But it’s Pacific Skin!” Charlie paused. “Skin like in coagulation, not meat. Actually it works on both levels..."

5. I got this...one au. That I've stopped poking because frankly it goes to places darker than I prefer, and as a rule I don't actually ship minecraft guys save for like if they married, so it's just NEVER going in Fault. Not that this is a real ship, more like a toxic nucular bomb, but I find it interesting soooo... Philza/Webb. Who is the Foundation worker who shows Phil fun videos of his kids being tortured, who destroys him in the amnestic arc, who Philza fantasizes about torturing often, so like, yikes am I right.

The dynamic itself would be Philza selling his self respect and getting in a relationship with Webb in order to manipulate him into getting better treatment for his kids. He starts like coughing up blood about it but hey anything for his Collected right? And on Webb's end he doesn't even think Philza is a person, knows the Foundation will probably kill him if it's suspected (or if it doesn't make it easier to control Philza), literally already has a husband and daughter, and has lost so many friends and almost his own life to Philza.

They both hate each other so much but hate themselves even more.

It's horrific from pretty much every angle which is why I like it, since I don't write ships i write tragedies. I have a post about it, because there's a lot of humor in the crack pair too. But it's also so cursed I am not touching it.

ANd yes!! all the hugs!*

*assuming no power problems

[imagineanime2022]

If it's okay can I please ask for any character that you want with ema and you can pick anything really it's up to you

Personality

Kind-hearted and caring

Can be motherly at times but mostly for children

Has no desire to hurt anyone as long as they don't hurt her or her friends and truly has no Cruel Intentions with anyone

Facts

She's an omnisexual

Likes watching anime

A hard worker

Good with bullets and guns

Like certain things with pink

Likes cats and dogs but prefers dogs

Can't decide on which weather she likes

Dislikes

Does not like the idea of using or hurting people

Hates her disgusting Step Brothers that she's cut off ties with

Society and Society itself

And any type of bug

Likes

Making friends

Sleeping

Cute clothes

This isn't everything but if you want you can find more information about her on my page here on Tumblr

Hi, I did a sort of ship scenario I hope that okay, I picked one character from the first game and one from the second, hope that you like it.

Trigger Happy Havoc

For Trigger Happy Havoc I would probably say that she is mostly likely to fit with Makoto, of all the kids that were thrown into that scenario he was the one that probably would have understood and worked with her the best.

He soft spoken until it’s absolutely needed. He loves animals the same as she does, he had a pet dog and would be open to having another one if she wanted and would watch anything that she wanted with her, although I feel like there would be a lot of explaining that needed to be done because as smart as he seems in the trials he doesn’t follow everyday life very well. He works just as hard as she does and he’d never let her take on too much work, he’s always willing to help.

Given everything that you both have been through, he fully understands that she doesn’t like society or the principles that it’s built on, he supports her in her beliefs and only ever asks for her trust when he does something. He understands suspicion and believes that it has its place after all it’s the only thing that kept him alive once. I’m not sure that he’s going to be able to save her from bugs but he’ll never judge her for being afraid of them and will likely be afraid of them with her.

I don’t see Makoto having much of an opinion on what she wears but he does like the cute style that she takes up. He's up for making as many friends as she is as well, they are a sunshine pair that befriend anyone that crosses their path. Her napping habit would have a good effect on him as well with all the trouble he gets himself into he forgets to look after himself, so when she slows down for a nap he’ll likely do the same.

Goodbye Despair

For Goodbye Despair I think Soda would be one of the best picks for her, he truly does not have a bad bone in his body and he'll probably fall for her immediately. Since she is for the most part really nice, he’d probably follow you around like a lost puppy all the time and offer what skills he has whenever she needs them.

Let’s be honest Soda loves pink as much as she does, and his hair shows you that. He honestly will go out in all weather so it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t have a favourite, he’ll dance in the rain or bathe in the sun as long as she’s there with him.

He dislikes a lot of the same things that she does and given the fact that he’s part of a group that society hates he’d welcome anyone who thought that was wrong (because they did nothing wrong but that’s a fight for another day). He might not be able to fight her older brothers but he will stand with her if she ever comes face to face with them again, has no problem laying it all on the line for her. That being said, don't expect him to be saving her from any bugs because he ran the moment he saw it whether she was with him or not.

Soda hasn’t really been good at making friends or keeping them so he is relieved that you can, he likes being around people but in his efforts to get people to like him, he can sometimes come across as childish or annoying but with her there it happened less often. He likes the cute clothes, he often gushes about how cute she looked and often tells her what his favourite outfit was. He will fall asleep anywhere with you to avoid having to do work or be away from her, he loves being around her and will do anything to stay around her.

Request Here!!

[silberwalkure-blog]

This was my day today. I swear if I have another like it, I'm moving somewhere unknown and changing my name.

I’ve received at least 4 calls from Mum’s healthcare workers that she isn’t answering her calls. I explained her address and the only way to get a hold of her is by her cellphone. I also explained that whenever I try calling her she does answer. So I called the police to do a wellness check

I just got the phone with the constable informing him the last I call I received was about 3 weeks ago when she asked about mail coming from the Gov’t. Because whenever I call, she either doesn’t have on her phone off or doesn’t answer it and can’t make it in her place because one of the kids are sick (no, not C-19) and wouldn’t be allowed in her building. He understood and will call me with an update.

Them I received an update from HPD on Mum:

The constable was able to speak with a care worker that knows Mum (visiting another client) and said that she had went out with friends. He reassured me that going over to check was not a problem and to expect a call from this particular care worker (she was there when he made the call to me).

The care worker calls me no sooner after to cop and I explained that there were a series of calls from a panic workers. She apologized and mentioned she would be talking with Mum, when I asked if she could please let her workers know if she wouldn’t need them. It would save a lot of headache

Now after all this I have a splitting headache. ffs.

I really wish this woman would turn on her damn phone. I received another 6 calls asking if I heard from her, because she's not answering.

What's the point of having a cellphone if it's never used. And before anyone makes the remark that I should pay for a landline (for her). I've done that when she lived in my old house and the bill was something else, not to mention whenever she'd use the phone she became toxic that I nearly lost my phone (ever try to explain to a utility company that the person in question'knows better than others' - I had one Bell rep give me condolences on my sanity).

....and just when I thought I could have a normal (what's left of my) life. Boy, was I wrong.

Here's the thing, I haven’t really spoken to her since we moved. I moved her into a motel for the month of August & September (her new wasn't ready until October 1st), since we needed to fix the house and again on Christmas Day. I tried a few times to tell her about mail, but she never answered her phone. She did call me a few weeks ago asking about some mail coming from the gov’t. Other than that I literally cut ties with her.

If it wasn’t for this care worker panicking requesting I call the police for a wellness check, I wouldn’t be bothered. Sounds cruel, but my mother is a narcissist who comes across as some sweet little old lady to a person's face, but once they're out of sight becomes a very toxic person.

[thedemoninme141]

Ghosts-Chapter 9: Ghosts of the past.

"We knew Ghost was still with us, That gave us hope." John said. . . Tori opens her eyes to find herself tied to a chair.

She looks around to see another empty chair in front of her.

Where is she? How did she get here? She remembers the fight with the Ghost. Did he bring her here? Is he gonna kill her? Torture her?

"No, I am not gonna kill you. I didn't bring you here for that."

She heard Ghost's voice coming from behind, as Ghost came in front of her and sat on the chair.

"You aren't afraid of death, you welcome it. " He said.

"Why did you bring me here? To torture me?" Tori spat angrily,

"No, I brought you here to help you."

"Oh, you did enough when you saved the one who killed my Jade!" She yelled.

"They didn't kill her Tori..."

"W.. what. what are you talking about?" she asked fearing the answer.

" They were innocent, the people you killed, had nothing to do with Jade West's murder."

"You are lying.. THEY WERE THERE THE DAY JADE DIED!" she yelled.

"They were there Tori, but they were there after Jade was murdered. They went there with bad intentions but Jade was already dead when they got there."

Tori closed her eyes every time Ghost said Jade's name.

" YOU ARE LYING! HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW?" She asked screaming.

"Because I was there the day she was killed, I was there trying to save her." Ghost answered.

. . .

"Well Vega, I am surprised you brought me this. Now I can get rid of the old mask that I used while murdering criminals on the street at night."Jade said.

Tori laughed as she put her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. They were seated on the bench near the lake.

"When I was younger, Dad used to give me a lot of time. Even though he works a demanding shift as a cop, he used to make time for me to play, shop, and go to the movies up until he received a significant promotion. I used to feel so alone whenever I came here, and find myself missing those moments with Dad." She said.

"Now I am with you so you don't have to feel lonely ever again, till I decide to dump your ass for your hot father," Jade said.

"Ugggh, again with that bullshit!" Tori groaned "But you are right, now I've got you and wherever you and I are together, feels like home to me." Jade smiled. She looked up to the skies and sighed.

"I don't really remember anything about my childhood," Jade said.

"What do you mean?" Tori asked.

Jade sighed.

"Only Beck knows about this, When I was 8 my mother and I had a car accident, my mother didn't make it but I did, not all of mine, only my body. I had a brain injury so bad that my memories were all gone. I don't remember anything about my mother or my childhood."

"Oh, Jade.." Tori hold her lover's hand.

"My father didn't really give me much time after that, He does visit about once a year. But he just hired workers to take care of me. He never even thought about telling me how my mother or I were before the accident; instead, he simply stopped believing in family. He didn't even get married again."

Tori can see the unshed tears in Jade's blue-green eyes.

"So I was left all alone to figure out who was I. Then I decided that I should concentrate on choosing who I want to be rather than trying to remember my past. So I build walls after walls around my heart to protect myself."

"And I broke those walls to get the lovable girl out." Tori said smiling.

"Tori, you didn't break my walls, you just touched them and they all fell down one by one," Jade said as she handed her a bracelet.

" The lemonade shop was closed so I brought you these," Jade said smirking.

Tori looked at the rose quartz bracelets, "She does care.." She thought.

"Aww, Jade! They are beautiful!" she closes the gap between them and puts her lips on Jade's. . . .

"Doctor Catherine West, Jade West's mother, was the scientist who discovered a way to make human bone stronger than metal, reflexes faster than a bullet, and muscles more durable, and numb. They started with adults. But none survived the augmentation. The project was shut down. But Catherine was so committed that she didn't even leave her own 3-year-old daughter. She conducted non-lethal experiments on Jade and discovered "improvements" that were sufficient evidence that children's bodies are better suited for augmentation. She stopped using her daughter as a test subject and hired men to find more children. She abducted hundreds of kids over years. I was one of them. The government funded her enough to make a massive lab in Verdansk and conceal it behind a village.

The project was changed to make augmented infiltration soldiers. Their speciality is to camouflage in society while doing their job. We were about 60 kids there, We went through the augmentation and survived, it made us untouchable, immortal. They made a serum to strengthen our muscles and reflexes. We had to take it from time to time. Most of us looked at each other as competitors to survive. But not my squad. John, Helena, Roach, Alex and Farah. We never remembered our names, they used to call us by numbers and we named ourselves. We believed there was a world outside those walls and Jade told us the truth. We underwent various tests, but Catherine didn't receive the outcomes she was hoping for. We were competent but not flawless. She knew who was perfect but she couldn't do it to her. So she created a child using Jade's DNA. But Jade had her own revelations. She was only 8 at that time but was more intelligent than an 18-year-old. She looked at the child and broke down. She named her "Emma". She knew she had to protect it from her mother. She came to me one day, handed me a scalpel, and informed us about the chip that had been inserted into our necks because she realized what her mother was doing was wrong. She told us about Emma and made me promise her that I would keep the child safe if anything happened to her. She told us a plan to escape, Her father was unaware of her mother's works. Jade told him the truth. It was a war, We escaped but Jade took a hit, I had the child with me and she took a hit trying to protect us. We carried her out to the extraction zone where her father was waiting with more soldiers to infiltrate the facility. But as they got in the whole place was blown. There was a bomb in there to demolish any proof of their work to keep it away from the public. They didn't care about the rest of the children's life. And those children lost their lives because we wanted to escape.

Mr West helped us to get our new identities, and helped us to find our families. However, my family wasn't found. Emma was given to a new family even though I protested, I thought she belonged with Jade but Mr West wanted to keep her daughter safe and couldn't accept Emma as a part of his family, I had a feeling that it wasn't over. I didn't accept my new identity. I was sent to an orphanage near Emma's foster home. I kept visiting Emma often. I told the family I was her brother, and they accepted me.

12 years, she became a beautiful healthy girl, I felt like she actually was my little sister, a reason for me to keep on living, I would bring her gifts every Christmas. Her smile would make me feel like I finally had a family again.

One Christmas when I reached there I found the whole place burned to ashes. They said it was an accident, "probably Gas Cylinder leakage". I knew it wasn't. The whole family was slaughtered. The bodies burned to ashes, I failed to protect her, I failed to keep my promise. I wanted to reach Jade, but her father forbade me, he had to keep her daughter away from us to keep her safe. I didn't force him. I knew what I was about to do and I had to keep my friends away from it to keep them safe. Whoever I was had to die, what they made me had to return, I wore the mask and became The Ghost.

I started hunting. I found out there are more than one lab, all scattered around the world, ready to be self-destructed if infiltrated. My one mistake was letting them figure out I knew about it. They tried to track me down and ended up finding John one day, his family was missing too. I knew John would've given up and I also knew who they would've targeted first, I went there, and heard her scream. They got there before I did, and that's when I saw him. They call him Templar, No intel on his background. I fought hard but I wasn't better than him, he defeated me. He killed your Jade. I couldn't save her, but I had to save the others, So I escaped." The masked vigilante finished his story.

It took a few minutes for Tori to take in everything. If all he said is true that means Tori murdered innocent men.

"The blood, found in Jade's house.. was it yours?" Tori asked.

The Ghost nodded.

"I know Tori, you killed innocent men, but the more you think about it the more you will end up destroying your mind. But they did get to her home, they wanted to hurt her. They just were late."

Tori thought about it now, she has already become a monster by killing people for a crime they didn't commit, how is there any return from this point? There isn't. She has to continue, she looked at the masked crusader, they called him a demon, but he was a human. She felt guilty for even thinking of killing him even though he battled until he was bleeding to save Jade.

"So, what now? How are you gonna help me?" she asked.

"I've already helped you, the cop would've taken you in, they already know You Tori Vega, is a Ghost now." He replied.

"Then help me avenge her, let me help you in finding them!" she said.

Ghost thought about it for a moment, he looked away from Tori and said

"No, this is my mission, not yours. All I can help you with is to run, go far away from this country and start a new life."

"I don't want that! You have failed to protect her so did I. We both failed to keep our promise so you alone can't be the one to avenge her! I loved her! If you have any respect for her!" Tori yelled.

Ghost didn't say anything in return. He went behind Tori,

For the first time in a while, Tori experienced fear—not the fear of dying, but the fear of dying before exacting revenge for the murder of her lover.

Tori felt her hands being untied.

"You need to learn the ways of The Ghosts." He said.

[plan-d-to-i]

Hi plan, I just saw this and died inside. Because am kinda mean, I think you should die inside with me.'I mean, I think it’s pretty upfront with what it means, and I think it paints Jiang Cheng as a morally gray character. Like, I do not get how people (especially in the west) think that he’s some wooby angel who is being falsely accused.' (1/?)

He let his anger and grief get the better of him, and took it out on innocents–which is entirely consistent with his character (like, Jiang Yanli died to save Wei Wuxian, and he still went ahead and killed him. C'mon. Boy has issues!).Jiang Cheng fans who say ““we can’t be sure this is true because in MDZS mob mentality bad!” are misreading the novel. The point is think critically, not just go with the flow because it benefits you. (2/?)

Thinking critically here means acknowledging there’s no evidence to disprove this and a ton of evidence to prove this is actually happening (in addition to his character as discussed above, we have an eyewitness who has no reason to lie, Jiang Cheng himself tells Jin Ling to kill any demonic cultivator, and Lan Wangji–who is probably the most reliable narrator in the entire story–believes this is happening.) 3/?

Jiang Cheng does not have empathy for the common person in his territory, which is an indictment against him and another way he foils Jin Guangyao–who along with Lan Wangji comprises only two characters in power who are demonstrably shown to give a damn about the common people (you can argue Lan Xichen probably does, but it’s not shown directly, unlike with LWJ and JGY). That doesn’t mean he’s a terrible monster or bad person; he’s not. It just means that he’s flawed and corrupted by society 4/?

(the main villain of MDZS is, after all, society). He’s a victim who has been deeply wounded, but is then projecting his trauma onto others–but in a more societally acceptable way than Wei Wuxian did.However?By the end of the novel? Jiang Cheng shows growth. He allows Sisi and Bicao into Lotus Pier to give evidence, helps Wei Wuxian with demonic cultivation by returning Chenqing to him, tags along with the junior’s nighthunts to protect Jin Ling, tolerates Wen Ning, and is generally moving 5/?

and is generally moving in the right direction. He realizes the person he thought would make a good leader–Wei Wuxian–sacrificed to make him a leader. A good leader serves, in other words, and he gives up control by allowing Wei Wuxian to see his vulnerable, hurting side (he’s lonely and hurt by a broken promise). I do think he will end up as a great sect leader–prickly, but caring." Sorry I asked this but you take on it will resurrect me. [final]

Hahah omg I started reading it and I was like ok...ok. this makes sense... I mean aside from the "jc is morally gray" (no) part this isn't that oFF----JIN GUANGYAO ALONG WITH LAN WANGJI?!! WHAT?! "you can argue Lan Xichen probably does, but it’s not shown directly"- ... "Jiang Cheng shows growth. He allows Sisi and Bicao into Lotus Pier to give evidence"- WHAT???? "helps Wei Wuxian with demonic cultivation by returning Chenqing" WHAATTTTTTT??!!?

Ok LWJ is a foil to jiang cheng, as are WangXian in general, but let's leave murder dimples and his towers out of this equation... Man was out there treating sex workers like a one time use murder weapon and sponsoring experiments on live humans... including children... and the only thing he found upsetting was that the screams were possibly giving him a headache.

"At the same time, commotion sounded outside the corpse training ground, among it the cries of women and children.

He Su spun around, only to see a group of LanlingJin Sect cultivators drag inside sixty or seventy people all wearing the same uniform. There were men and women, old and young. Every one of them was a cross between shock and fear, while some were already crying. Both tied up, a girl and a boy kneeled on the ground as they wailed at He Su, “Brother!” ...

"He Su, “Utterly nonsense! Open your eyes and fucking look! There are nine-year-old children here! Old men who can’t even walk! How could they rebel against anything?! Why would they assassinate your dad out of nowhere?!”...

As they watched their elder brother bang his head madly against the bars, the boys and girls rushed over wailing. Their cries were so sharp that Jin GuangYao reached up and rubbed his temple,

As for Sisi and Bi Cao:

Just as they entered, before anyone was seated yet, someone who looked like a guest cultivator walked up, “Sect Leader.” He shifted toward Jiang Cheng’s ear and whispered a few words. Jiang Cheng frowned, “No. If there’s something important, tell them to come at a later date. Don’t you see the situation right now?”

The guest cultivator, “I told them already. The two ladies said… that they were here for none other than today’s matter.”

Jiang Cheng, “What’s their background? Which sect do they cultivate at?”

The guest cultivator, “None. They aren’t cultivators either. I am certain that that both are ordinary women without any spiritual powers. They brought with them some expensive medicinal herbs as well, but they didn’t say which sect leader sent them. They only said that they had a few things to tell you, Sect Leader. From their words, I judged that what they were speaking of was no small matter. In case they feel disrespected, I already placed them within one of the guest residences. The medicinal herbs haven’t been stored yet, either. They have been examined already. There are no abnormal spells or curses.”

It wasn’t that anyone could see the YunmengJiang Sect’s sect leader whenever they wanted to, even without telling him why they were there. On top of that, they were two women who lacked both spiritual powers and sects to support them. However, since they brought rare herbs, the guest cultivator responsible for receiving them didn’t dare show disrespect. Even if not for the lavish gifts, the oddity of the incident itself was enough for him not to ignore them.

So NHS knew jc enough to make sure these ladies had some expensive, rare herbs to gain themselves the chance of an audience + the intriguing prospect of information on the situation at hand... otherwise they would have been clearly turned away. Someone build jc a statue to commemorate his great benevolence...

I already wrote extensively HERE about jc and Chenqing. TRLD : NMJ's corpse was going to rampage and drop some murder on everyone in the Guanyin temple INCLUDING Jin Ling, when jiang cheng deigns to finally throw Chenqing which he'd held onto as bait all these years and which he hadn't offered up in all that time while WWX was stuck just whistling. He's never been adverse to using Wei Wuxian as a weapon before and he had no other choice here unless he was going to wait and see NMJ's fierce corpse Vitamix everyone in that Temple w his fists. It wasn't offered up in a peaceful moment as an act of understanding and grace. smh

Ok this part was very confusing they're saying jiang cheng is "corrupted by society"? jiang cheng IS the corrupt society...By the end of the novel he illustrates also how people born to privilege and power don't tend to suffer the full consequences of their actions. His actions are permitted bc he was born the son of a Clan Leader, not a servant. Dude led a siege to kill a granny and a toddler. He should be dead at the end of mdzs. He momentarily realizes that he's a clown and then is right back on his shit in the brief mention of him in the extras. Cracking his whip at people and clashing with Wen Ning... His growth curve is a flat line. Op has a way of reframing things in a very interesting way. Might as well say “jc was just helping people exfoliate” when he was flaying them w Zidian…

Now about Lan Xichen... where are people getting this idea of him not giving af about the ppl while JGY is a beacon of altruism? From the Cloud Recesses study arc we see Lan Xichen taking a very active role dealing with the mess the Wens drove to the doorstep of the people of Caiyi Town. He'd been planting nets himself when he observed something was out of the ordinary.

“Zewu Jun, water ghosts are very smart,” Wei Wuxian said. “If we row slowly around like this looking for them, what happens if they hide at the bottom of the water? Won’t we be searching forever? What if we can’t find them?”

Lan Wangji said, “We will not stop until we locate all of them. It is our duty.”

“So we’re just going to catch them with the nets?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“Correct. Unless the Yunmeng Jiang Clan has some other method?” said Lan Xichen."

The Lans are righteous. This is how they handle matters. Even though the Wens have chased the aquatic abyss to Biling Lake the Lans would not shirk their duty or chase it away somewhere else to put other lives at risk even though solving the problem requires an immense effort- which is why the Wens chased it there in the first place.

The aquatic abyss near Caiyi Town brought tremendous trouble to the Gusu Lan Clan. There was no way to eradicate it, and neither could the Lan Clan behave like the Wens and drive it off someplace else. As the Chief of the Lan Clan had been in isolation for many years, Lan Qiren had to exert the mental and physical effort to deal with the problem in his stead. (Chapter 18)

Nevertheless we know the Lan Clan does manage to deal with it in the end.

Wei WuXian, “It’s been so many years. The waterborn abyss there should be completely cleaned up, right? If your uncle can bear looking at me, then hide me along with those jars of wine in your room; if he can’t, then let’s go tour some other place. I heard SiZhui and the others are having loads of fun night-hunting with Wen Ning.

Lan WangJi, “Mn.” (Chapter 113)

Then during the war:

During the Sunshot Campaign, stories of praise were told about all three of the Venerated Triad. The ones of ChiFeng-Zun were about how he swept over all obstacles, leaving not even a trace of the Wen-dogs after he finished. ZeWu-Jun—Lan XiChen—however, was different from him. After the situation of the Gusu area had settled down, Lan QiRen was able to defend it with great tenacity. Thus, Lan XiChen often travelled to aid others, saving lives from danger. In all of the Sunshot Campaign, he had countless times recovered lost territory and assisted narrow escapes. This was why people were ecstatic whenever they heard his name, as though they gained a ray of hope, a powerful trump card. (Chapter 51)

In fact WWX feels compelled to tell LWJ to make sure not to let the Lan Clan singlehandedly clean up the mess in Yi City, which isn't even territory they're responsible for!, bc he knows how they do things:

“Hanguang Jun, listen to me,” Wei Wuxian said. “Your clan really shouldn’t take on the burden of handling the aftermath of Yi City alone. The city’s so big—if it has to be cleared out, it’ll be a thorny, intractable problem whose every aspect will require a massive expenditure of resources to deal with. Shuzhong isn’t even under the Gusu Lan Clan’s jurisdiction. Survey the juniors downstairs and see which clans they’re from. Give each of those clans a share of the duty—everyone who should contribute must contribute.”

“It will be considered,” Lan Wangji replied.

“Consider it carefully, alright? Everyone likes to hunt game and fight for glory, but when there are responsibilities to take care of, they start passing around the burden. If your clan foots the bill and indulges the others today, they won’t necessarily feel grateful to you or understand your thinking. If it happens too many times, they’ll start expecting you to take the initiative whenever any trouble pops up. That’s how the world is.” (Chapter 42)

Still LWJ only says it will be considered!

You know, I think it's almost more jarring when some fairly valid takes coexist with well... the other ones... in the same post.

[magnetic-rose]

Why Spones is a top-tier ship

AKA “the inherent homoeroticism of annoying the shit out of your co-worker.”

Spock and McCoy have a complicated relationship. A lot of their bickering and ideological differences lead fans to believe that they hate each other, but that’s an over-simplification of the truth. The reality is that Spock and McCoy are extremely close friends who care about each other deeply. Though sometimes their bickering turns serious during stressful situations, for the most time they seem to enjoy the banter. A common mischaracterization of their relationship seems to put McCoy as the bully and Spock as the victim. In truth, there are many times where Spock will say something specifically to get a rise out of McCoy. They fight. That’s how they show affection, not disdain. In fact, one could argue that some of their bantering have a flirtatious tone to it.

Kirk: Mister Spock, regaining eyesight would be an emotional experience for most. You, I assume, felt nothing.

Spock: On the contrary Captain. I had a very strong reaction. My first sight was the face of Doctor McCoy bending over me.

McCoy: ‘Tis a pity brief blindness didn’t increase your appreciation for beauty, Spock. (Operation -- Annihilate!)

Spock is a half-Vulcan, half-Human who has mostly chosen to follow his Vulcan heritage. As such, he is a being of almost pure logic. The truth about Vulcans are that they are secretly beings who feel things very deeply and intensely, and they feel the need to keep a tight lid on their emotions as to not succumb to them. McCoy, on the other hand, is a regular human. He’s a deeply emotional man who cares about others. One could argue that McCoy is almost too empathetic, as he lets his emotions rule him. Spock and McCoy are polar opposites; the brain and the heart, the logic and the emotion, the super-ego and the id.

Despite these differences, the two men are similar in a lot of ways. They’re both men of science, men of peace, and they both care very deeply for their Captain. They’re both self-sacrificing morons, to the chagrin of the other. Spock will prioritize McCoy’s life even when both of them know it’s not the logical choice to do so. Likewise, McCoy will take a hit for Spock even when they both know the Vulcan is stronger and better equipped to deal with pain than the doctor.

Spock: (In the middle of a blizzard) In this severe cold, we cannot survive much longer.

McCoy: Leave me here, Spock.

Spock: We go together or not at all.

McCoy: Don’t be a fool. My hands and face are frostbitten. I can’t feel my feet. Alone, you have a chance. Now do what I say. Go try to find Jim.

Spock: We go together! (All of Yesterdays)

In the episode, “The Empath,” Kirk, Spock and McCoy have to choose someone to be offered as sacrifice to be tortured by a group of aliens. Kirk obviously volunteers, but gets put to sleep by McCoy with a tranquilizer. Spock then states that he’ll offer himself up, as he has the higher chance of surviving the torture. McCoy then proceeds to sedate Spock as well, and sacrifices himself to be tortured by the aliens.

Spock: While the captain is asleep, I am in command. When the Vians return, I shall go with them.

McCoy: You mean, if I hadn't given him that shot

Spock: Precisely. The choice would have been the captain's. Now it is mine.

(McCoy turns away. Spock sits to carry on working. Gem puts her hand on Spock's shoulder, and smiles. McCoy comes up behind him and gives him an injection.)

Spock: Your action is highly unethical. My decision stands. (Spock falls asleep next to Kirk.)

McCoy: Not this time, Spock.

Underneath all the fighting and disagreements, there is a deep caring between Spock and McCoy that manifests itself into protectiveness towards each other. In “All of Yesterdays,” Spock is constantly showing concern for McCoy after he almost died of hypothermia. In aftermath of McCoy’s torture in “The Empath,” Spock is seen hovering over his body and caressing his face, worry written into his features. On the other hand, while McCoy constantly makes fun of Spock for his lack of emotions, he’s also highly aware of the Vulcan’s mental state and protective of it when others threaten to shatter his resilience.

McCoy: He's a Vulcan. You can't force emotion out of him.

Philana: You must be joking, Doctor.

McCoy: You'll destroy him.

Parmen: We can't let him die laughing, can we?

McCoy: (Watching as Spock starts to cry) I beg you! (Plato’s Stepchildren)

The episode “Amok Time” also demonstrates McCoy’s perceptiveness of Spock and Spock’s true feelings of friendship towards McCoy. McCoy is in fact the first person to notice that something is wrong with Spock:

McCoy: Oh, captain. Got a minute? It's Spock. Have you noticed anything strange about him?

Kirk: No, nothing in particular. Why ?

McCoy: Well, it's nothing I can pinpoint without an examination, but he's become increasingly restive. If he were not a Vulcan, I'd almost say nervous. And for another thing, he's avoiding food. I checked and he hasn't eaten at all in three days.

Kirk: That just sounds like Mister Spock in one of his contemplative phases.

Kirk doesn’t notice anything wrong with Spock, and initially dismisses McCoy’s concern, but McCoy immediately picked up on Spock’s mental turmoil. Despite his cantankerousness, McCoy not only cares about Spock but goes out of his way to look out for his mental state. Part of it might be because he’s his doctor, but how many doctors go so far as to monitor someone’s eating habits because they notice that person’s suddenly being fidgety? On Spock’s end, when it comes time for him to beam down to Vulcan to complete his marriage ceremony, he specifically asks for McCoy to be there:

Spock: By tradition, the male is accompanied by his closest friends.

Kirk: Thank you, Mister Spock.

Spock: I also request McCoy accompany me.

McCoy: I shall be honoured, sir.

One episode I find extremely fascinating in terms of McCoy/Spock moments is “Mirror, Mirror.” In this famous episode, half of the Enterprise crew get transported into an alternate universe dubbed The Mirror Verse, in which evil versions of the characters exist and terrorize space as a fearsome military force. McCoy is part of the team that gets transported in the Mirror Verse, while Spock stays in their regular universe. Mirror Spock immediately realizes that half of the crew, including Kirk and McCoy, are acting strangely. When he corners Kirk to question him, he does so by threatening McCoy: “I shall not waste time with you. You’re too inflexible, too disciplined, once you’ve made up your mind. But Doctor McCoy has a plenitude of human weaknesses, sentimental, soft. You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.” This Spock seems to have a intimate knowledge of McCoy’s mind.  When the party decides to attack Mirror Spock, he fights all of them except for Uhura and McCoy, who he simply pushes out of harm’s way.

When Mirror Spock gets hurt as the crew is trying to escape back to their own universe, McCoy is suddenly unable to leave his side. Kirk allows him to stay to nurse Spock back to health, and McCoy risks almost staying in the Mirror Verse forever for him. When Mirror Spock awakes, he backs McCoy into a wall and initiates a forced mind meld onto the doctor. The next scene has Mirror Spock holding a disoriented McCoy up and bringing him back to his crew; he now understands what is happening and he wants his regular crew back, and thus he allows Kirk and company to make the switch back to their own universe.

Other Star Trek properties have gone more in depth on how a forced mind meld can be extremely traumatizing on the person receiving it. Star Trek: Enterprise has an entire story arc dedicated to the Vulcan T’Pol trying to heal from a forced mind meld. Unfortunately, because the nature of TOS episodes were episodic, we never got the chance to explore the emotional fallout of McCoy’s forced mind meld and how that might have affected his relationship with Spock. The franchise also never went in depth on Mirror McCoy outside of what Mirror Spock speaks of him, since Mirror McCoy died of xenopolycythemia in 2269.

Closing the list of evidence of Spock and McCoy’s affections towards each other are the Star Trek movies “The Wrath of Khan” and “The Search for Spock.” Towards the end of Wrath of Khan, Spock sacrifices himself to save The Enterprise in one of the franchises most heart-wrenching scenes. Moments before his sacrifice, he knocks McCoy unconscious, touches his face and whispers “remember.” What happened in this scene was that Spock, knowing he was about to die, transferred his Katra to McCoy. The katra being the Vulcan equivalent of a soul. This speaks to the amount of trust that Spock has in McCoy. For someone who keeps most of his emotions under a tight lid, it’s a huge gesture to entrust another with the essence of their entire being. The next movie, The Search for Spock, is a journey as the Enterprise crew fight to return to Vulcan so they can reunite Spock with his body. When they finally arrive, the Vulcans warn McCoy that the process is extremely dangerous and could even result in his death. McCoy calmly replies that he “chooses the danger.” He cannot fathom living his life without Spock.

McCoy: (Speaking to Spock) I'm going to tell you something that I... I never thought I'd hear myself say...But it seems I've missed you. I don't know if I could stand to lose you again.

So in conclusion, Spock and McCoy have a rich and complex relationship that is much more than simply just “they dislike each other because they bicker a lot.” Their bickering is more akin to that of an old married couple. There are plenty of examples not even included in this post of how deeply they care for each other. Despite their ideological differences, they balance each other out quite nicely. McCoy is finely attuned to Spock’s emotions, arguably better than anyone else on the ship. Spock in turn is protective and gentle with McCoy. Once you stop looking at their interactions solely on the surface level, you’ll be able to see the tenderness and years of love and friendship between them. This is why I think Spock/McCoy is one of the most underrated and misunderstood relationships of TOS. Don’t let the constant arguing fool you into believing these two dummies don’t adore each other.

Shout-out to Tempest for their extremely lengthy ship manifesto on Spones called “Spiced Peaches,” which goes even more in depth on why Spones is a great couple. Using their manifesto as a reference was key to remembering Spock/McCoy moments. Also shout-out to the site chakoteya for having full transcripts of TOS episodes, so I could easily find quotes for this. If you’ve come this far, thanks for reading!

[vargassdottir]

CHICAGO MED | Two Halves Make A Whole

✮ Prologue - Setting the Scene ✮

[Chapter List] [Part One]

(Starting Season One Episode One)

(This series will follow the series, starting 1x01 and roughly sticking to the timeline and events of the Chicago Med with some divergence from canon to incorporate the original character and events I’ve included to involve them.)

Chicago Med (One Chicago) : Connor Rhodes x Original Female Character

Warnings: Swearing, adult themes, usual hospital/emergency department blood and gore.

That morning was supposed to be easy. There’s a list of things to do, items to have prepared and packed the night before, scrubs sized and in your new locker ready and waiting. She liked the order of it in their otherwise chaotic lives, and her fiancée, even though he’d laugh at her incessant need to organise well in advance, couldn’t deny that this time it was helpful.

It’s why, when the train he was catching that morning derailed, he knew he had surgical gauze and bandages in his backpack and was already working on patients when the paramedics arrived. Hell, he could practically hear her jibing as he tied off a tourniquet for the middle-aged woman he was currently trying to ensure didn’t bleed out from a nicked artery.

“I won’t need this stuff, you know they do have gauze at a hospital.”

“Yeees and the last time I said that, I ended up stuck in a pile up for six hours tearing my second favourite shirt to pieces. I still miss that shirt..” there was a wistful sigh, and an amused laugh between the two of them, before she’d continued “Save the shirt. Carry the bandages.”

Connor couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory, earning a raised brow from the woman’s husband, gripping onto his wife’s hand with earnest concern. With an apologetic half smile, he nodded and moved on.

All the while, Mia, much to her fiancées chagrin about the painful beeping of the dawn alarm, had arrived early to the emergency department at Gaffney morning. Having already spoken to Goodwin, had the full guided tour by a remarkably well informed and equally witty nurse named Maggie, and changed into her burgundy scrubs and organised the items in her locker according to size and usefulness, she felt prepared for the inevitable storm that would likely soon consume them.

An auburn haired doctor, Halstead, as he’d been introduced to her as, and a heavily pregnant yet desperately sad, dark haired Doctor Manning had quickly become co-workers she had found rapour with, remarking on their shared love of an author that she’d caught Doctor Halstead reading as she met him in the doctors lounge earlier, and the absolute tragedy that was drinking coffee without milk. She’d chosen to stand behind her fellow female doctor when the great unveiling of the new ED had begun, hoping to catch some tips on which nurses were less likely to bite her head off and any regular patients that she should watch out for when their pagers set off in a chorus of chirps.

She hated the sound of those things.

Not for a lack of care of what they preceded, naturally if she was apathetic to the pain of others she would have never become a doctor in the first place. No, she simply hated the sound because, in her mind, it felt taunting.

Patients she could handle; find the injuries, assess the history, treat the symptoms and causes, stitch them back together… An elegant dance between science and compassion. It was the families she couldn’t bare. The questions, the accusations of how she wasn’t doing all she could, the ever shifting emotions she had to compensate for during every update.

Shaking her head, Mia snapped herself from her internal monologue of “fuck pagers”, and grabbed several pairs of surgical gloves to shove into her white-coat pockets and a stethoscope that she draped around her neck, and began to prepare for the onslaught of, from what she’d gathered from Maggie and April, a train derailment only a few miles away.

Looking down at her feet for only a moment, the same pair of lucky sneakers she had owned since she began her medical residency, what felt like a lifetime ago, battered and their black shade closer to grey now, she took a deep breath. Straightening up, she pushed the strands of loose hair that had already unravelled from her ponytail back behind her ears before she snapped on the first pair of gloves, and turned to the ED doors.

[thedeviljudges]

This is a different anon; regarding your last controversial opinion from your previous ask. Would you still think that Yohan had some degree of infatuation for Isaac if in the drama, Isaac and Gaon did not look similar? I personally don’t think that that would even be a topic of discussion if they didn't look alike.

I don’t necessarily think it’s be such a sore point as it is for a lot of people if it was never mentioned at all. However, I do think that someone in fandom, at some point, would bring up yohan’s devotion to Isaac. the entirety of the devil judge wouldn’t have happened if isaac hadn’t died. yohan would still become a judge, and he’d serve justice. and only then maybe down the line would he use his position to tackle the elite. but to the extent that he went on behalf of his brother? i’m not sure he would. isaac would be alive - would he still meet gaon? would he seek him out; would he befriend him, teach him? does gaon in this world still resemble isaac, in that case? because that leads to another discussion of whether yohan would've sought comfort in gaon outside of isaac even while alive.

but that's a lot of what ifs. what we do know is yohan loves tremendously. isaac’s death drove the storyline but so did his love of elijah to keep her safe and prevent her from ever learning the truth of what happened. it’s very clear yohan feels things deeply; he just processes those emotions much differently than the average person. it takes gaon to actually understand him. isaac understood him, too, but only to an extent.

i digress, yohan’s only safe haven growing up was Isaac. He protected him, he visited him in his basement. Yohan didn’t have any friends except Isaac and later heejin and Elijah. yohan probably had surface level, kinda buddies in college and co-workers, at most, as a judge. his only source of interaction was through isaac - and that’s not to say he was deprived completely, but he was alienated at a school-age level. the confusion of growing up and figuring yourself out, working through hormones and reading about these things in books, coupled with isaac being older and eventually dating heejin. jealousy certainly could’ve loomed there. there is a lot of what-ifs, and one of those is yohan's development, need, desires, attachment style (in a deprived household), etc.

now does any of this call for an incestuous nature? no, not necessarily. but yohan also didn’t get to experience what life was like as a “normal” person in society from a very young age. his social, moral, ethical, cultural and any other -al is vastly different than that of others. he operates on a different belief system due to finding guidance through isaac and books. it’s how he’s able look at murder as self-preservation (for himself, for the country). why he never changes his mind about how no human is truly innocent, resorts to a “means to an end” mentality without remorse and is devoted to his family above all (which gets into a whole other topic of discussion about yohan’s abuse and his inability to break ties with those he loves - saving gaon from being mobbed to death while shot and then bleeding out on the floor despite gaon’s continues back-and-forth trust and distrust with him). he doesn’t actually care about the kang family social standings outside of his plan (clearly seen the day of the church fire where he didn’t even join, and there is no way isaac would’ve banished him from the event; it seems he actually gave yohan a choice whether he could participate or not).

the books he reads also clearly delve into darker, meatier subjects. in fact, one book specifically called “the god of small things” by arundhati roy features this subject (twins who have sex out of grief). and while it’s not from a place of true romance, it’s still there and serves its narrative purpose for the story that is being told.

i know this is probably not the place you’re necessarily coming from, and this ask is just out of curiosity if anything, but what i really want to challenge people with this is instead of saying oh ew gross - think about it from another context historically and textually. just because you learn about it, know about it or it exists doesn’t mean you have to condone it, but i don’t think it’s a thing to be feared in topics of discussion - i’m sure it’s a heavy subject in psychology and other sciences as well as within the history of humanity.

i also discussed a smilier theme regarding the death penalty because when the show aired, people were horrified, and that is what the tone of the show is supposed to take on, yes. how does someone go so far to condone that - not just yohan but the general public? but, in reality, when we look at the historical context of death in and of itself, was murder treated as taboo? did people have the same reaction to it back then as they do now? can’t say for sure because i wasn’t there, but history has told us that it was pretty normal, so much so to the point that it in certain regions of the world, it was pretty equivalent to an afternoon movie showing.

i think you make a very fair point, and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with thinking that no, it wouldn’t be a hot button issue if the storyline nixed the resemblance aspect. so as i said above, i don't think it'd be such a touchy subject because it wouldn't be a leading narrative carrot. though even if that were the case, i don't think it'd stop anyone from playing devil's advocate anyhow - which is what my how spiel is about.

in the end, i think it’s an answer that can go either way. there’s no right or wrong way to view it, but because you asked, there’s my two cents.

[ernmark]

One Possible Read of The Green Knight

I say one possible, because this is the story as I understood it as I was watching the film. When I mentioned it to my partner, he didn't take that away. I'm not saying my take on it is right or wrong (I think it's hard to say that about most reads for a movie like this), but I submit it for your consideration.

(Spoilers and a fairly thorough plot summary under the cut)

(Holy moly this got long)

A brief caveat:

Caveat the First: I'm basing this off a pre-existing understanding of medieval stories, which don't necessarily follow the same narrative structures as modern ones. The world they lived in was weird, so sometimes weird shit just happened for no reason, often very conveniently. (If anything, I think this movie did less of that than existed in typical medieval stories.) They also heavily relied on archetypes rather than distinct characters with backstories, as well as a pre-established understanding of the story you're listening to. Like the puppet show that shows up in the story, the kids in the audience had already heard the story enough times that they could follow it without any actual words. On that note, I've also read a version of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Caveat the Second: I immediately distrust anybody who talks about any story older than three centuries or so having an "original" version. There are some stories that have distinct authors, but often these stories were retold and rewritten to suit the tastes of their latest audience. So I refer to the version I read, not "the original". I take my reading of that story into my interpretation of what I saw. I'll note the details from the version I read where it's relevant.

The Story

We start with Gawain, King Arthur's nephew, waking up in a brothel with his sex worker lady friend. She sends him on his way back home to Camelot where his mother greets him and kindly asks him where he's been all night. Oh, off at Christmas Mass, naturally, is what he tells her. She counters that clearly he's been drinking all the communion wine, because she can smell it on his breath.

She tells him she's not feeling well, so he should go to the Christmas celebration without her and tell her all about it afterward.

[I don't recall hearing her name in the movie, but in the version I read, the Green Knight is sent by Morgana. Between his mother being described in dialogue as Arthur's sister and a known witch, I'm gonna run with that assumption and call her that.]

This is where my reading diverges: I take all of this as being almost entirely Morgana's story. And from her perspective, it's kind of hilarious. Because this isn't the story of Gawain's journey into Manhood, but of a very frustrated mother's attempts to save her beloved (if disappointing) son.

While Gawain is partying with the sickly King Arthur and the knights of the Round Table, Morgana joins three of her fellow witches and they enact a spell, summoning the Green Knight and a very specifically worded challenge. The Green Knight presents a game: any one person in attendance may injure him and get his badass axe as a prize, but in a year exactly he'll have to go to the Green Knight's chapel and allow the Green Knight to return the exact same blow to him.

Arthur says he wants to do it, but acknowledges he's too sickly to do so. Gawain, already embarrassed once at this party, jumps up and volunteers to be his champion. And when he steps into the ring with the Green Knight, he cuts off his opponent's head. He'd think that was the end of it, but the Green Knight just picks up his severed head, reminds him of the deal to bring the axe back and let himself get beheaded in a year, and leaves.

[In the version I read, this was a ploy on Morgana's part just to freak out Guinevere. Seriously, that was the entirety of it. Just fucking with her rival/sister-in-law.]

In the movie, I got the vibe that Gawain was never meant to be in the line of fire. I suspect that either Arthur or one of his knights was meant to be the Green Knight's opponent, who would die after a year to get his affairs in order. Given that Gawain was Arthur's next-of-kin, that would have given him plenty of time to pass the crown to Morgana's beloved son. Unfortunately, Gawain stepping up messed up her whole plan.

During the intervening year, we see Morgana and the other witches working together to weave the Girdle of Invulnerability. As the name suggests, it's laden with magic to protect him from all harm and all blows from anyone. So long as he wears it, she explains, he'll make it home in one piece.

[In the version I read, the girdle is given to him by another woman later on at a weirdly convenient time. More on that later.]

Gawain barely makes it out when he asks directions from a young man looting the corpses on a recent battlefield. Being the idiot that he is, Gawain takes the young man's directions straight into a trap, where the young man and several other bandits are lying in wait. Despite his mother's assurances that he's invulnerable, he stands down immediately, allowing the bandits to take the Green Knight's axe, his Magic Girdle, all his money, all his supplies, etc.

During all this, three things happen: first, we see A Fox. Second, when the bandit takes the axe he goes all weird and runs off on the horse, forcing the other bandits to chase after him and leaving Gawain unobserved. Third, we get a weird vision of the future where Gawain remains where he is, tied up, until he rots away and he's left nothing but a skeleton.

My read is that The Fox is either Morgana or one of the other witches shapeshifted to keep an eye on him (alternatively, the fox is Reynard or a similar magical creature employed by them for the same purpose.) The Fox then enchants the bandit into running off with the Girdle and the Axe, leaving Gawain relatively safe. And when he fails to do anything with this spectacular opportunity, the Fox gives him the vision of what's gonna happen to him if he just waits around to be rescued.

Prompted to action, Gawain manages to free himself and continues his quest on foot. Eventually he comes across an abandoned manor. Inside, he meets a ghost who asks him to retrieve her severed head, which was thrown into the nearby spring. After some hemming and hawing, he does. When he returns to the surface with the woman's skull, the ghost is gone, but the Fox is watching him.

My take is that the ghost disappeared. They do that. The Fox, being sent to watch him, saw him actually step up and do a brave and selfless thing for once. This is what cements to the Fox that Gawain isn't a perennial fuckup, he's able to grow and mature if he's given the chance.

Gawain returns the skull to the rest of the ghost's skeleton, and he's rewarded by regaining his lost axe. (The axe placed there by the Fox, who took it from the enchanted bandit.)

So this is great, right? Gawain's fuck-upery has been cured and he's doing the responsible thing. Yay, right?

Except he's a fuckup who spends more time drinking and hanging out in brothels than doing Knightly stuff, so he doesn't know basics. Like how to start a fire or get food. Offscreen, Morgana must have been bashing her head into a wall, because her beloved son is going to get himself killed.

The Fox appears to him, and after his initial attempt to drive it off, Gawain lets it stay with him. From this point forward it stays by his side, not-so-subtly giving him directions and keeping him generally safe.

Later we meet some giants, because sometimes there are just giants. We don't question these things in Arthurian fantasy. Gawain asks them to give him a ride to his destination, but when one agrees to help him, he freaks out at the last second and refuses. The Fox speaks to the giant, quite possibly apologizing for its very rude human friend, and the giants go on their way without him.

Gawain is most of the way there by now, but it's late December in Wales, he's super cold and hasn't eaten anything but trippy mushrooms, he can't build a fire, he's been walking for days. He collapses, but the Fox urges him to go a little further and leads him to another manor house. Fortunately for him, this manor has living people in it, who clean him up, put him in a warm bed, and give him food.

We get a dreamy scene where he's being tended by his mother before he wakes up in the care of the manor. My read on it was that this manor and the people in it were sent directly by Morgana to save him. I don't think the manor was even there ten seconds before he collapsed the first time. Because Morgana loves her son, but he is REALLY bad at this.

Notably, it seems that the only people here are the Lord and Lady of the manor, as well as a blind old woman who seems to be the lady's maidservant and/or mother? Hard to tell.

Some flirting happens between Gawain and the Lord and Lady. The Lord of the manor explains that conveniently, Gawain's destination is only one day's walk away and he's several days early, so why not take some time to rest and gather his strength. The Lady shows off her library and her fancy daguerreotype-like mechanism, etc. The Lord suggests another game (mirroring the game presented by the Green Knight) : the Lord will go hunting the next day and give Gawain whatever he catches. Gawain will in return give the Lord whatever he gains throughout the day.

[In the version I read, this happens over the course of three days. Each day the Lord leaves, the Lady tries to seduce Gawain but he refuses, only accepting a kiss from her on the first two days; when the Lord returns with a hunted animal each day, Gawain gives him the kiss that the Lady gave him. On the third day, the Lady also gives Gawain a previously-unmentioned enchanted Girdle of Invincibility, which he neglects to pass along to the Lord, opting just to kiss him instead.]

In the movie, this is condensed into only one day. Gawain wakes up with the Lady creepily watching him sleep, wearing the Girdle of Invincibility that Morgana made for him. She invites him into bed and offers him the Girdle, reminding him that it can render him invincible. The scene gets a bit weird after that-- sex acts of some sort ensue, and the Lady walks away, leaving Gawain with post-coital shame and the Girdle.

Upset, Gawain grabs his stuff and makes to leave. Along the way he runs into the Lord in the middle of his hunt, and he declares that he's going to meet the Green Knight a day early. Citing their game, the Lord presents Gawain with The Fox (who is alive despite having been caught by a hunter, hmmm) and requests Gawain's "winnings" in return-- which he claims by stealing a kiss. I dunno about you, but it seemed to me that Gawain was Into It, at least before he remembers to be freaked out and runs off.

He's nearly at the place where he's to meet the Green Knight when the fox stops him. Now it starts talking, its voice shifting from masculine to feminine. It tells him that he's done a great job, and he can turn back right now and go home and nobody will know but the two of them. He doesn't have to go through with this. But Gawain, determined to fulfil his quest, drives the Fox off once again and goes the last bit alone.

Here he meets the Green Knight in the ruins of an old chapel, though because he's early the Green Knight is little more than a statue, awake but unmoving until the appointed Christmas Day. All the while Gawain just has to sit there and stew in the knowledge that he's gonna die. Finally the Green Knight stirs, asks Gawain if he's ready to die, and readies the axe that Gawain returned to him.

Throughout this, the light hits the Green Knight differently, making him look an awful lot like the Lord of the manor. After Gawain flinches away from the axe the first time, he speaks gently to him, almost tenderly.

[In the version I read, the Green Knight and the Lord of the manor are the same person, and the Lord/Knight is aware of Gawain's magic Girdle, because this was all an elaborate ruse. Because of Gawain's invincibility, the Green Knight only scratches his neck, permanently scarring him as punishment for lying about it and cheating in both their games, but doesn't hold it against him. Gawain then returns to Camelot and they keep the Girdle at the round table as a symbol that all of them have their failings.]

In the movie, Gawain flinches one more time. We then get a second very lengthy vision of an alternate future: Gawain flees the Green Knight and returns home, where he's welcomed back without external consequences. However, he's haunted by his own cowardice, giving up a difficult love in favor of living up to expectation, only to lose everything in the end anyway. His life following the cowardly route was longer, but it wasn't a better life.

He stops the Green Knight one last time, only to remove the Girdle and set it aside before declaring himself ready. The Green Knight is genuinely pleased by this, and he leans in and simply traces a finger over Gawain's throat, before happily saying. "Off with your head."

The movie ends there. Whether the Green Knight leaves him alive or kills him is up for interpretation. But even if the Green Knight wasn't on Morgana's payroll, I feel like he's way too fond of Gawain to do him real harm at this point.

And so Gawain has grown up-- he's brave, he's honorable, he's learned to keep his word and face the consequences of his actions. And Morgana, after some major struggles and a lot of called-in favors, has managed to keep her son from dying on his quest. Victory all around.

There's also an after-credits scene: just a little girl playing with Arthur/Gawain's crown. Notably, this little girl is neither of the children Gawain had in his vision of the cowardly future, so I interpreted it as a new future with a new child with potential all their own.

But that's just my take.

[lightsovermonaco]

His Good Sweater: Chapter 10

Masterlist

Shoutout to my bestie @acollectionofficsandshit for all the drunk comments she made while betaing this one... Wish you guys could see them lol

Word Count: 4.8k

Recommended song: “Amnesia" by 5SOS

Pierre paces in his dinky trailer at the Circuit of the Americas and desperately tries to forget you exist. He had already taken down the pictures on the wall but the images were burned into his brain. He had shoved your shirt under his bed, having absolutely no idea how it had made its way halfway around the world to taunt him.

He was slowly unraveling like a spool of thread on a loom as you wove him irrevocably into the tapestry of your life.

The race in Austin started in less than two hours and you hadn't texted him. Not once in the handful of years he'd known you had you neglected to wish him luck before a race, even if it was 2 am your time or you had exams, you always took thirty seconds to warn him to be safe and finish well.

He was beginning to think you hated him for how he'd acted at the gala last weekend, jealous and possessive from afar. Talking to you would have been the better choice. But seeing you laugh and dance the night away had hurt too much. He’d slipped out early after Victoria assured him she could find a ride and sped home to fall apart.

He had only barely managed to piece himself together in time for the race.

Pierre checks his phone for the third time in as many minutes and swears under his breath. He didn't know why he expected it to ring and for your face to pop up at this point. Even if you called to tear into him, he'd still fall to his knees at the sound of your voice. He just wanted to hear you speak, didn't care what was said, only that he could latch onto your words and lose himself in them.

Hope sparks when his phone chimes but he nearly throws it across the trailer when he sees Charles' name.

Heard from her yet?

No. At this point I'm beginning to think I never will again.

Maybe she fell asleep early?

It's 5 pm in London. I'll bet you she's eating a bowl of takeout from the Chinese place down the street, not sleeping.

Its still possible. Don't dwell on it. This isn't the headspace you wanna be in before a race. Block it out. I don't wanna see my best friend wind up hurt today.

Pierre didn't reply, if only because Charles was right. Worrying would get him nowhere. After his shitty qualifying yesterday, he started thirteenth on the grid so he had his work cut out for him. Austin offered plenty of opportunity for overtakes; he could get the job done if his team made the right calls. 

And if he made it to the podium, you would have to text him.

The thin mattress groans when he sits to unlace his hastily tied race boots. He folds his legs to sit criss cross and places his palms on his knees. The familiar pose already has some of the tension leaving his shoulders as his eyes slide shut. He breathes in for ten seconds, reflecting on what ails him. He holds the breath for five seconds before releasing it slowly.

He repeats the process until he comes to terms with the fact that you won't be wishing him luck. That was your choice; there was nothing he could do about it and therefore no sense reading into it. He had done all he could to convince you to trust him. The ball was in your court; he had to be patient and wait for you to take a shot.

“Focus,” he murmurs to himself, forcing any erroneous thoughts from his head. “Walk through the track.”

The circuit at Austin was challenging, consisting of a mix of 20 sweeping corners and scattered hairpins. He was almost lucky in a way to be starting so far back on the grid because turn one was only a few hundred meters from pole and their tires would be slightly colder and less grippy upon arrival than his would be. The few extra seconds afforded to him by starting thirteenth could mean the opportunity to leap frog past his rivals in the first corner.

The counterclockwise circuit meant he would have to keep an eye on his front left tire too, as it would wear faster than the others. He'd change gears an average of 66 times per lap, higher than similar length tracks like Monaco. Pit stops cost an average of nineteen seconds, meaning he would need to build a significant gap to the driver chasing him in order to avoid the threat of any undercuts.

There were too many variables occupying space in his mind to afford you a sliver of it.

Some time later he decides that his four leaf clover tucked safely in the worn leather of his wallet will provide all the luck he needs and switches on his pre race playlist after popping in his ear buds.

"Sights on the podium," he murmurs to himself, hand on the doorknob. "Let's race."

The bass flows through him as his feet carry him to the Alpha Tauri garage on autopilot, through the back entrance and to his plain white driver room. The familiar beats are a numbing salve spread on his frayed nerves, his anticipation rising like a crimson wave in his veins. He leaves his clothes in a haphazard heap in the corner and changes into the white fireproofs hanging nearby, thoughts momentarily veering to you knocking on the door and stripping them right back off.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, he runs through his usual stretch sets until Pyry arrives to walk him through reflex exercises.

"How's your head?" Pyry asks, running him through more cool down stretches. "Do we need to take a minute and do some meditation?"

"Beat you to it," Pierre grunts out, pushing back against the hand on his head to work his neck. "I'm good."

"You sound better than you have all week, I'll give you that. Keep that focus, use it to propel yourself forward."

"Run me through the lineup again," Pierre requests, "I need something else to think about."

Because if he let his mind follow the path it wanted to, it would inevitably lead to you and undo the work he had done to avoid that. He needed to be empty of anything that wasn't racing, anything else was an unnecessary distraction that had the potential to end in disaster.

Pyry rattles off the grid in order of who Pierre needs to overtake, pausing between each name to give him time to recall their driving styles and potential chinks in their armor to exploit. He knew from tapes of previous years that Stroll often ran wide into turn one, giving Pierre the option to brake late and sweep up the inside. Vettel was half convinced the track was cursed, so his mind would work against him enough that Pierre could exploit it and get past at some point. He continued until he got to Hamilton and Max locking out the front row, where he would need a bit of luck to overtake.

"You got it?" Pyry asks, stepping back.

Pierre rolls his shoulders and nods. 

"Get shit done mate," Pyry says and bumps fists with his driver. He slips out to allow Pierre a moment to center himself before slipping into his race suit, leaving it half unzipped and tying it around his waist before following his trainer.

Pyry leads the way to where the matte navy and white car waits, mechanics swarming it like studious worker bees tending to their queen. No one talks to him save his engineer because words from anyone else threaten to break his carefully constructed race mentality. If they wanted him to bring home points, they knew to leave him alone once he was suited up.

His mind is blank of anything but statistics as he twists his ear buds in and pulls on his balaclava and helmet. As his vision narrows to the sliver of track he can see through his visor, so does his focus. With forty minutes to lights out, he's directed out onto the track. He rips the wheel to the right as he exits the garage, getting a decent powerslide for his efforts.

There was no doubt in his mind that he would land on the podium, if only to see the look on your face when he did.

**********

It took an unfathomable amount of restraint to keep yourself from calling Pierre to wish him luck.

You texted Max instead, wishing him a safe and comfortable podium a half hour before lights out. He hadn't responded, likely already in the garage with his trainer going through his pre race routine.

The pace Max had set the day before had awarded him pole position and the margin between him and Hamilton had been enough that you were confident in his ability to hold off the Mercedes for all fifty six laps.

If you were honest with yourself, you were disappointed that the Alpha Tauri you so desperately tried to ignore would be starting in thirteenth. You try not to think about it, instead queueing up SkySports and opening your laptop for pre race coverage. You avoid the interviews in favor of listening to the commentators analyze the grid.

"It should be an easy win for Max as long as he fends off Hamilton until the first round of pit stops. The undercut works well here, as Red Bull proved last year, and I'm sure they plan on doing the same thing this year."

You hum in agreement, gingerly sipping your steaming tea. You really ought to consider a career as a sportscaster at this point based on how often you came to the same conclusions they did.

"I think one of the biggest shakeups is Russell starting all the way up in eleventh after his amazing qualifying for Williams yesterday. Think he can hold onto that position?"

"He's got some fierce competition not far behind in the form of Alpha Tauri. Gasly starts thirteenth- surprisingly far back on the grid given the otherwise flawless performance he's shown this year. But it seems likely that he should be able to overtake-"

You flick the tv on mute, unable to stomach listening to them sing his praises. You numb your mind with social media until the Formula 1 theme plays on your laptop, alerting you that there's a few minutes until race start. Tire blankets are peeled off and the drivers weave their way through the formation lap with the exception of Kimi who takes his traditional straight line approach to warm up his supersoft tires. 

Most of the front runners are on ultrasofts, indicating a two stop strategy. It was Pirelli's recommended approach, and you were glad that Horner heeded their advice for once and let Max use the ultras in Q2. It would give Max the upper hand over Hamilton who starts on the yellow sidewall tire and thus slightly slower lap times.

Crofty and Brundle break down the notable turns as the cars line up on the grid, pointing out the sharp hairpin only a few hundred meters from pole position. If Max got away clean, he would be ahead of the cramped pack and have an even better edge over the silver arrows who would be forced to queue behind him.

The traditional "lights out and away we go" kicks off the grand prix, engines roaring into the first turn. Max does manage to get away clean and is awarded with an immediate advantage. Turn one proves tragic for the Alfa Romeo of Raikonnen and the Asthon Martin of Stroll who collide and cause Kimi to spin. They rejoin at the back of the pack, your eyes snagging on the navy and white of an Alpha Tauri as it streams past. 

Your heart spins in a similar fashion when the GAS driver tag leaps up two places in the timing table, suddenly in eleventh due to the incident. Your gaze snaps to the laptop humming on your legs before you remember its Max's driver cam you queued up. The Dutchman is silent as his engineer relays information about the incident and informs him of the widening gap between those chasing him. 

“Confirm received,” Gianpiero says calmly. No matter the situation or how heated Max got, he always kept his head. It was what made the duo such a good match and had likely kept Max from going off the rails on more than one occasion.

“Yeah,” Max says shortly, clearly pissed about how quickly Hamilton was approaching. “Let me know when I’ve got enough charge to get out of range.”

“Yep, will do. Just keep this pace and you’ll hold him at bay.”

Live coverage replays the incident between Stroll and Raikonnen from the view of onboard with Pierre. The instant the 10 on the halo appears in the center of your screen you suck in a breath. He yanks the wheel to avoid colliding with Ocon, who had to do the same to keep from hitting his teammate as they navigate through the carnage.

You chew on your lip and try to refocus on the battle between the front runners. Not much is happening in the midfield for the next thirty or so laps and Max just barely manages to build a solid enough gap between himself and Hamilton to dive into the pits comfortably without losing places. 

Your phone rings and you answer it without checking who it was as the only person you wouldn't answer was currently occupied.

"Hello?"

"Why the fuck didn't they pit Daniel?!"

You grin, noting the blistering beginning on his front left tire as SkySports switches to his onboard camera. "Because he's about to pass Charles," you tell Dan's girlfriend. She didn't call you often during races. It was likely that she knew you were nearing your wits end and this was her way of offering support.

"He won't be able to with those tires- oh." She breaks off when Daniel passes a DRS detection zone and his rear wing opens, allowing him to pass the Monegasque with ease. 

"Told you," you say with a touch of reprimand. "You're always too nervous about those things. Daniel knows how to drive, just trust him to get the job done and he'll bring home another trophy for your apartment."

"I don't live here," she points out and you roll your eyes. She had lived in London as long as you had known her, but she was almost always at Daniel's apartment whether he was in town or not. Daniel digs in as the camera follows him for a lap, highlighting the widening gap between the McLaren and the Ferrari.

"You basically do. At this point, you're paying rent for a dusty one bedroom apartment on the east side that you set foot in maybe once a month." She scoffs but you push on, "a waste of sterling if you ask me, when you're at Daniel's every time I ask you to do anything."

"You act like I never- there goes Pierre!"

His name sparks dread in your gut as your attention flicks back to the screen in time to see him overtake Bottas on the inside of turn one. He'd managed to claw up to fifth with the move, somehow gaining places while you weren't looking.

"Good for him," you croak, trying your best to be genuinely happy for him. He was pushing the car to the limit and you'd be amazed if he didn't wind up on the podium along with Dan and Max. Charles and Hamilton were the only ones in his way, and something told you Charles wouldn’t put up much of a fight when his mate reached his gearbox. Hamilton would prove a challenge but he had been making tiny mistakes all day. Nothing significant, though enough to add up to him barely holding onto second while Daniel rode his gearbox.

"He's got ten laps to get past those two," she murmurs as if momentarily forgetting you were on the phone. 

"Can we talk about literally anything else please?" You whisper, half tempted to shut off the race completely. 

"Babe, you have to face the music at some point. Either you never want to see him again or you love him, which is it?"

She never failed to be anything but brutally honest. You appreciate it because everyone else let you brush off your problems, but she called you on your bullshit. She would needle you about it until you folded.

"I think it's better for both of us if I pretend we never met, don't you?"

"Easier for you, yes," she agrees. "But it'll kill Pierre. You don't think you could keep in touch with him, just as friends?"

"I don't know if I can handle that. I can barely look at him without wanting to bawl my eyes out."

She sighs, pausing to contemplate what to say. Voice soft, she continues, "Why don't you just take him back? Clearly it's ruining both of you. Are you really gonna let the press wreck the best you ever had? I know its hard but-"

"I'm not like you," you cut in. "I can't just ignore the articles and the comments and pretend there aren't people out there that hate me for being with him. They came to my house, disrupted my family. Hell, Ben can't even go to school without being mobbed by his classmates demanding answers. If my suffering is what allows my family to go about their lives then so be it."

"If that's what you wanna believe."

You sigh, tangling your fingers in the hem of your shirt. "It is."

"Alright," she says, voice teetering on a knife's edge. "I know better than to try to change your mind when you're like this. He's on the podium by the way. Oh, and watch what you say to Max- Pierre will read into it."

She hangs up without a goodbye, leaving you to deal with the realization that the podium is indeed VER RIC GAS on your own. Your eyes are glued to the Red Bull and McLaren drivers, blatantly ignoring the one in the white suit as the anthems play and the champagne is sprayed, turning away to busy yourself with making coffee when Daniel hands his liquid filled race boot to third place.

You weren't quite sure how you were supposed to watch what you said to Max- there was no reason to in your mind. Max was your next closest friend on the grid and you had every right to congratulate him if you wanted to.

Resolute in your decision, you text Max and Daniel a quick congratulations before shutting off the TV and closing your laptop.

Max's insane custom ringtone he'd selected for himself nearly makes you jump out of your skin when it blares from your phone.

"Hey great race-"

"Did you see it? I wasn't sure if you'd watch it- did you see my move on Hamilton when he tried to get past me?" He was talking a mile a minute like he was still out on track. "I was like- and then Dan tried to overtake me on the final lap and I was like no way! And then-"

"Max," you chime in, dragging out the 'a' with a sing-song voice. "You're rambling."

"Oh right. Yeah but I made it! Led every lap and finished with another win."

"That's great." You force as much enthusiasm in the words as possible, trying to match his chaotic energy. "You did great. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I'm proud to be your friend. You beat a world champ!"

"It means a lot-" 

"Who's that?"

You stiffen at the familiar cadence. You had assumed Max was back in the garage when he called, but he must have still been in the podium room. You could picture him in his race suit, smudges of grease and dirt staining the pristine white. Beads of sweat probably ran down his neck, begging to be brushed away by your tongue. 

"Uh, no one," Max says in a lame attempt to cover up his digression. "I gotta go," he whispers to you. 

"Let me talk-"

"Wait don't," you start, but the call ends abruptly and you blink. You stare down at your phone, completely dumbfounded. Of course his instinct would be to talk to you, to share the euphoria of a podium with you. It was the first victory in three years he wouldn't have you to celebrate with.

It was only a matter of time until his resolve popped like the cork on his champagne.

**********

Pierre's phone is in his hand as soon as Max hangs up. He hefts his trophy in the other, a wild grin on his sweaty face as he snaps a picture. He makes sure he's the only one in the frame, shamelessly wanting himself to be the center of your attention.

"Mate," Daniel pipes up, catching his eye, "you think that's a good idea?" 

Pierre sighs, cutting the Australian a glare. "I'm just trying to fill her in."

"Wasn't your plan to give her space?"

"It's been a week, isn't that long enough?"

"Take it from me, sometimes it takes months for someone to figure things out. Hell, you know how long it took me to sort through my feelings for-"

"I know," Pierre cuts in. "I know. I just- a snap can't hurt can it? C'mon, I just got a podium! If it goes bad I can blame it on the post race jitters."

Daniel holds up his hands and shrugs. "You're a grown man. Do what you want."

Pierre studies the photo, scrutinizing the way his hair was plastered to his head and the awkward way he'd posed to keep anyone but himself out of the frame. It's his genuine smile that he knows will do you in, and ultimately the reason he sends it.

His phone is a lead weight clutched in his grip as he winds through the paddock, constantly stopped by vips and team members congratulating him. None of what anyone says registers, he just tries his best to match their mood and sputter praises about his team's contributions to his podium. 

The snap you finally send back is only from the eyes up, but it's enough. He's surrounded by people in his driver room, but for ten seconds it might as well have just been him staring at a sliver of your face on a screen.

The tiny lines at the corners of your shining eyes tell him you're smiling, which is a step in the right direction even if you won't let him see your entire face. It's enough to reignite the hope that slumbered in his chest while waiting for you to pull the trigger and make a move.

He sends back a video of the people in the room, who cheer when they realize they're being filmed. 'Wish you were here,' is what he captions it and sends it without giving himself a chance to overthink.

Ten minutes pass with no reply.

The beer he’s already consumed have given him a pleasant buzz as well as an excuse to make a bad decision or two. He takes another video of the room to post to his Instagram story, 'Missing you' written in the lower left corner.

Fuck, he hopes you'll see it and regret leaving him on read. Instead all he gets is a text from Charles chastising him for stirring up drama.

Really Pierre?

Blame it on the alcohol, he texts back. 

I know you aren’t drunk. You can’t form a coherent sentence when you are.

Guess i gotta drink more then

Pierre doesn’t turn anyone bearing alcohol away. He's two celebratory shots deep when Daniel finds him sulking in a corner. "You've got my girl texting me freaking out over your story. I've seen it and I gotta agree with her. Was that really necessary?"

"She left me on read," Pierre says like that was enough explanation. His head was spinning and it was getting hard to keep the room upright. "And it's the truth. I miss her like hell. I want her here. She was supposed to come, you know? I was gonna have her fly in with me on the jet. She doesn't start class again until June. I had this whole week planned out. I was gonna show her Texas- she’s from New York and..." 

He trails off when he notes Dan’s pitying smile. Daniel sighs and runs a hand through his curls. "I know. I get it, okay? I know it's hard but you can't force it. You've gotta let her come back on her own, all you're doing now is pushing her away."

He was fucking clueless when it came to these things. He'd had you for a few precious moments and now that he'd lost you he didn't know how to act. His mind was running on hazy autopilot; he barely knew which way was up, let alone did he trust himself to make any sort of important decision.

He stares down at the shot he'd been handed at some point before throwing it back. The cheap whiskey burns his throat but he barely registers the sting. "Should I take it down?"

"She already saw it," Daniel says gently, as if he anticipates how bad the fuck up will hurt. And it does. It hits him like a tire wall at two hundred kph, knowing that you were probably ranting or crying on the phone with Daniel’s girlfriend. "But yeah, that's probably best. People are already wondering what happened between you two, no need to throw fuel on the fire."

"You're probably right-" Pierre cuts off when Charles arrives with a grimace on his face. He shakes his head and gives his friend’s shoulder a squeeze. 

"For once I'm not the dumb one."

"You're a dick, you know that right?" Daniel says, allowing Pierre to delete the post. It takes him a few tries before he gets it down, but undeniably rumors will be circulating in the morning if they weren’t already.

"Honestly what were you thinking?" Charles demands, edging towards full blown yelling. "I told you to leave her be. The gossip stemming from this isn’t gonna help.”

The last thing he needed was someone else telling him how stupid his decision had been. At least Daniel had the decency to show sympathy. 

"Honestly?" Pierre responds with the same intensity, his anger flaring. "Honestly, Charles, I was thinking that she was happy for me but was too afraid to take the leap. She haunts me. Every second I’m awake I have to force myself away from her. Even when I’m asleep I can’t get away from her. So I don’t know, maybe I wanted to haunt her too."

“This isn’t the way you win her back and you know it.”

“I know!” Pierre throws up his hands. “But what else am I supposed to do? She won’t talk to me. She has no problem talking to Max or Daniel but apparently she draws the line at me.”

“You know it’s not-” Daniel's eyes flick to his phone and he fights back a grin. All it does is remind Pierre that he lost the person that could bring that sort of smile to his own face. "Fellas I wish I could stay and help but I gotta get going. Charles, I think Pierre needs another drink." He slaps five American dollars in the Monegasque's hand. "First one is on me."

Pierre is too deep in a spiral to care when his friend drags him from the party to a bar just south of the circuit. Somehow it was within walking distance; the floor was sticky and the lighting was for shit but he didn't care.

Pierre's focus was on downing shot after shot, erasing the broken image of you his mind had conjured up. He never should have posted the story. It only served to feed into what the media had been speculating for the past week and dredged up more tension between you.

Pierre stops checking his phone two shots later. The liquor provides a wet blanket over his senses, dousing him in cold water and scrambling his brain. He could barely remember his own name, but yours still lived in the corner of his mind.

Even drunk, he refused to forget you.

Two hours and who knows how much alcohol later, Charles helps Pierre back to his hotel room.

Pierre falls asleep as soon as he hits the mattress, head too blurry to dredge up memories of you.