#that i need medication to address but which i don't currently have due to an incompetent pharmacist

[unwounding]

Sometimes my grandmother does or says something triggering and ideally I would convey the resulting discomfort using conflict resolution techniques, but also I just don't have the energy for it anymore. And really, do I have to explain why saying things "What is wrong with you?! (derogatory)" would make me uncomfortable? It also doesn't help that this woman constantly talks behind my back, except it really isn't behind my back because it's in earshot. I really had to explicitly tell her not to relay information about me back to my mother. Why she was/maybe still is in contact with that woman after I revealed all the sociopathic things she subjected me to remains obscures. The only thing I know now is that I'm very tired of it.

[mousedetective]

Please Help A Mostly Queer/Disabled Homeless Family Pay Off Their Debt?

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

03/05/24

So good news! We're in a 30-day shelter with a caseworker and help from the City of Encinitas Homeless Support Program to get housing with 30 days. It's a brand new shelter and we're all together in a room with the cats, and they're really eager to help get us out of our homeless situation.

Right now, we have about $1000 in money we can save up each month. If we can pay off the debts that my mom owes that she's in credit consolidation for, that frees up another $187 each month. If I can pay off my installment loan, which is four payments totaling $475, that frees up another $124 a month. I think my mom just paid off a credit card debt, but we have $100 debt that I think has gone to collections, $500 we need to pay on a card before that one goes to collections, and $300 for my PayPal 4 in 4 payments. We also have two payday loans I'd like to pay off before they're due at $600.

So if I can cover all that debt this month, we'll have well over $1,500 to put towards a rental payment in May, if we can get help with a security deposit and first month's rent through housing programs. We might be able to afford a two bedroom apartment in Fallbrook with that much. We'd need to come up with money to move our stuff out of storage as well, but a friend of mine has covered the big units until April 1st and may cover them an extra month if needed.

Any help would be amazing. We are so close to getting out of hotels/our car and into something stable. I'm setting the goal at $3000 for now because I don't have wifi at the shelter and can't check exactly how much my mom owes for her debt consolidation still.

But any extra will help with gas to get to places where we can get things we need (birth certificates, Lena's social security card with her dead name, Lena's psych eval, my mom's dental stuff, and doctor/therapy appointments) and food in case the snafu with my food stamps isn't fixed right away (we get three meals here, which is fine for me and Lena, but my mom is basically still on a soft food/liquid diet and they're still needing to get stuff for her and the gentleman here who has no teeth).

Please help if you can, and please reblog as well! We would all greatly appreciate it.

$2500/$5000

EDIT: We found out today that Lena is currently uninsured. The meds she was prescribed for her mood disorder are $1,500 out of pocket. She needs the medication badly. Please help?

[canonkiller]

health stuff update for the new year

this is an update that I'm gonna crosspost in a few spots, so sorry if you have to pass it multiple times. I'm not going to go into super detail (I appreciate some degree of privacy) but it is medical talk that relates to my art + online presence

For the physical: The long and short of it is that I have a neurological degeneration that is, at present, affecting almost all of my spinal cord. At this point, the specialists I've seen believe that it is the cause of my vision issues, as well as the loss of sensation in my legs and chronic pain. There is no expected recovery for this - it's either going to stay as it is, or get worse - in part due to how long it took to discover (thank you, Canadian medical system delays!). This, along with nutritional deficiencies related to it, is causing the bulk of my physical issues and is the expensive part to deal with as I try to accomodate a lifestyle with little movement and less sight. "Polished" art in the usual definition is something I simply can't do any more. Looking at screens hurts, especially if I have to look up towards them, as does daylight. I hurt, a lot, all of the time, and so far the treatment plan suggested for that has been to cope, which I am trying to do.

For the mental parts: I'm excluding neurodivergence from this summary, because while I've made some important discoveries in the past 12 months I don't feel as though they're impacting my work dramatically, at least not in the completion way. Unfortunately, separate from those, I've been experiencing a metric Fuck Ton of brain fog; basically, every other week, the concept of time is quite literally beyond my perception. I know things are happening in the moment, but the actual durations of things just disappear. This, of course, makes my queue backlog long as hell and my communication spotty, as the time I think everything is taking is doubled to everyone else. My current care provider has been neglecting to address or investigate this, so I have been trying to find a replacement, but that takes time, and time is difficult for me to keep a handle on right now. I have been doing everything I can to ensure I always have a list somewhere if the things I need to get done; know that if I owe you work, it is likely not forgotten, but just unknowingly delayed. I am trying my best to stay on top of things, but I am doing all of it on my own, and it's been a lot to deal with lately as things continue to worsen.

I'm sharing this more for understanding than sympathy; I don't want to be pitied, but I also want it known that I am not trying to con people or maliciously avoid completing work. All I ask is that if you have questions or concerns, about owed work or otherwise, to reach out rather than assume I'm avoiding it intentionally, and to let me know if you want refunds or compensation for subscriptions or paid work that you feel are justified.

Here's to surviving another year.

[pokemoncaretips]

Is it ethical to resurrect fossil pokemon?

The answer to that is a solid: It depends.

For the most part, I would argue that yes, it's fine to take a fossil to a lab. The biggest worry most people have is that "if it gets out, what about the eco-system?" but in truth, the fossil pokemon is the one most in trouble for the simple fact that.

Well.

The eco system has moved on and the old niche is filled by pokemon with millions of years of natural selection against the resurrected one. For an example, lets look at lileep. Back in its time period, where the diversity of the eco-systems was still a new thing, lileep colonies stretched for miles. They were the dominant life form. You can't stub your toe in Hoenn without turning over a lileep fossil. Because they were the first really successful grass type, the ocean beds were theirs. Nowadays, though, the sea floors they used to rule are crowded with corsola, sea weed, kelp, shellder beds, etc. There's no room for the fairly basic lileep to get a foot hold.

Sometimes even the basic environment itself is an issue. Anorith struggle in modern oceans due to changes to the ocean such as pH and salinity.

One of the few exceptions to this is omanyte, which is becoming quite prevalent. However, a number of fairly smart water type pokemon are working out how to get into that tough shell to get the meat inside, and so its likely the eco-system may eventually resettle once its position on the food chain is established. Until then, omanyte meat is very slowly picking up as a delicacy. (Though frankly, you'd have a better time eating an old boot.)

Another reason they pose little threat to the eco system: most of their food no longer exists naturally. Aurorus, for instance, can just barely hold its own against rivals like tropius, but their natural diet of large cycads and ferns are hard to find or just plain extinct. Combined with the warmer temperatures of today, and a large pokemon that could have been destructive of the eco-system is rendered incapable of doing so.

However, these pokemon often thrive in human care, as we can use science to make supplements that fill in the nutritional gaps and provide care and enrichment to help them enjoy their new life. A well loved and looked after fossil pokemon is a fascinating window into a past so different it may as well be another world.

However, there is one more thing I must address.

"Professor" Cara Liss is a hack who got her PhD from the back of a cereal box.

Those poor pokemon she resurrects are travesties of science. Though it is our responsibility to provide the current specimens living today with the medical care they deserve, it is DEEPLY morally wrong to create more of them. A dracovish might have a good reputation as a battler but it can barely function without a diet that is almost half medication by volume (I exaggerate, but only slightly).

Fossil pokemon do need some thought, as there are extra elements to their care, but if you want to bring your lucky fossil feather back from the dead as an arceops, go forth and do so if you think you're ready.

Just don't give it to that fraud in Galar.

[deancaslover]

As a poc who grew up in the middle east and have family in the middle east and have experienced know the impact of islamaphobia my take on m.c is definelity complicated. He should not have made the comments on the denial of genocide 100% and I'm glad he deleted those tweets hopefully because he understood it was wrong and not simply due to backlash. And I do believe that's the main part that he should be held accountable with

I do think misha has a emotional stake with family/ friends that are Jewish that probably has strong opinions and is also giving out information, working and helping with Ukraine, having the chance to talk to President of Ukraine abt the war, etc whilst Ukraine is still allies with Israel. I do see how that would have influenced his opinion on isreal and Palestine.

I think what's not stopping me from my support or whatever is in general I believe in the intentions and I just don't see the malicious intent. When reading his article it was very pro anti war and very attempted neutral on both parts, made sure to condemn only hammas and not the Palestinian ppl, humanising the Palestinian ppl. (Which is not special take but I do think when america talk abt middle east and war they usually talk about the humans (women are forced to wear hijab and have no rights! Which yea bs) and not talk specifically about the terrorist groups) so I do think that part was crucial and important. I also can appreciate that he replied to a person against islamaphobia in one of his replies. And in his substack which now has 106 comments the majority is in support of Palestine and there's links being shared about either genocide or more information that's currently happening in Palestine so for ppl looking to get informed there's links. So I do appreciate that the comments are not being filtered. And perhaps I am being too generous or looking at cup half full perspective but the positive part that I do see in this is that m.c main fanbase will also be other white fans who when going to look for his article they are being exposed to information.and is also learning if they haven't.

Idk like should he have written an article? No. But he has, and I'm glad he said this part

" Israel has a right to defend itself against terrorism, but when Israel does so by committing atrocities and war crimes of its own, then it defends itself without moral authority and only further entrenches both sides in an interminable conflict where there are no “good guys” and there will be no “winner.”  

Like again I'm glad when he's talking negatively about Palestine he specifically talks about hammas and in then in general terms isreal commiting war crimes. I just think it's important that for his fanbase that probably consists of white fanbase that is already been fed from the western media that it is important that it was neutral and humanisation of the Palestinian ppl

And again maybe because I have been in the spn fandom and have been exposed to gishwishes. Allowing them to pay medical bills, and other good things, his open support if the lgbt community I do have a soft spot and perhaps I'm looking at this in rose tinted glasses but i genuinely am not seeing the malicious or hateful intent when talking about the isreal/ Palestine that I see when others talk I.e piers Morgan etc . what I do condem is his comments on genocide and the denial of it so I'm glad those got deleted quick, hopefully because he understood that was just wrong. And he needs to address that. But yea in general I suppose the support is still there,

I read this as soon as I got it and thought, "I'll definitely answer it," so thank you, anon. I value your input on this.

First, you're totally entitled to your feelings and thoughts about him and his words. My intention is never to tell others how to react; I'm just very vocal about what I think.

I can understand your position. I'm not Muslim, and I'm not from the Middle East, but I'm a POC (basically half indigenous and half colonizer) in Latin America, and we, too, share a very dark history with imperialism from the USA and his son Israel but maybe it's a bit more invisible here.

That's why I'm so radical and unforgiving about privileged people's stances regarding colonization and genocide. To me it's not enough that he says he wants peace, that the bare minimum and the least we can expect from someone like him. I don't see how having family and friends who are Jewish is an impediment to understanding what is going on in Palestine when many Jewish people go out to the streets to claim they're 100% against occupation and don't support a Jewish Estate. Zionists want to make us believe they are the eternal victims, and Misha decided to go with that. In his statement he mentioned the Holocaust several times but he fails to see that Israel is doing the same to Palestinians right now. "Well, they have committed some war crimes, but it's not a real genocide like the Jewish one." Ugh, disgusting. There's no coming back from that in my opinion.

Like I've said, we as fans have given him the benefit of the doubt more than once, for both little and bigger things. Knowing his intentions are "good" isn't enough for me anymore. He's been in politics for decades; he's always doing political activism, so he's not particularly ignorant. He's not your average dumb American, and he has followers from all over the world. I expect(ed) a lot of him, because he put himself in that position from the start. I've been a fan for over a decade, and I even did gishwhes three years in a row, so yes, it's not easy to just say goodbye to all that overnight. But I'm being true to myself, and so I have to walk away.

Whatever path you follow on all this, whether it's the same as now or it changes, I send you my support, stay strong and you can write to me whenever you want <3

[multimask]

Relistening to Monstrous Regiment last week was apparently exactly what I needed for my last Spelljammer session.

My character, Valerius, is a giff, who was formerly a ship's captain and due to Backstory Reasons is now a Lieutenant on the party's ship. Hella militaristic race by lore (the base family unit is called a platoon, apparently, to give you an idea of Just How Militaristic they are). Last night we ran into someone from my character's former command, who was 1) still alive and 2) a higher ranking than when Valerius last knew them.

Having Sergeant Jackrum & the fantasy military of MR still ringing in my ears made it that much easier for me to slip into adding Sir to every other sentence. Hell if I know how often Sir's actually get said, my military dialogue knowledge is almost entirely courtesy of pop culture, but how I played last night at least Felt Right after MR. I had a very recent example of military officer addressing someone higher rank than them that I could lean on, which is what I needed

It was also great fun bc my current crew have Never seen Valerius so formal or stand on ceremony like that. Our captain runs a pretty loose ship when it comes to ranks & military nonsense. While the crew all do have ranks & titles, it's literally never been relevant until last night (other than knowing who's Captain & First Mate, who are both NPCs). At most, we've only needed to know who's In Charge and general ship's duties, like medic, navigator/pilot, or quartermaster/bosun.

At least, until last session.

The DM and I had a quick pre-session chat to hammer out our ship's ranks so that we knew what Valerius' rank actually is now, since it sure as hell isn't Ship's Captain anymore, but we needed to know just where he currently sat so he could properly (re)introduce himself to his former crewmate.

Due to session plans, my party were able to overhear (read: eavesdrop on) the conversation between Valerius and his former crewmate, but they were unable to grill me Valerius on What The Fuck Was Up With That???? So long as we don't get ourselves killed & find some time to breathe next session, they'll be able to ask next session.

[heirscrchd]

alt!

Send me "alt!" and I'll introduce you to a character I've rped in the past, want to play in the future or are currently playing somewhere else!

" I didn't spend all of my life developing medical technology to the point I can create life from a handful of donated cells and organ tissue to be belittled for my childhood crush. " Karin grunted, raising a fist, more than ready to tussle if it did come down to that. While she wasn't physically strong, no doubt with her chakra reserves due to her heritage she could easily out-stanima almost anyone in a fight. Not to mention she knew the weakest points of the body one would have to hit to cut off their ability to fight.

Dispising when people boiled her down to an unhealthy attachment she had in her earlier days Karin had taken strides in advancing her intelligence and understanding of human genetics. To the point she could nearly replicate organs and yes, create entirely new people through the process of donating DNA from various people. Her most successful experiment using some of her own in hopes they would inherit her healing abilities which would allow the child to grow outside of a host body.

" So next time you get hurt don't think to come crawling back to me, I'll find better use of your parts than saving your sorry ass. "

----

Yeah yeah, I know. It's *karin*. but listen, I wanted to give her more justice because the fact she is of the Uzumaki Clan I feel like is not addressed enough??????? shes at least distantly related to Naruto and they just never fucking bring that up. But she also can fucking summon the chakra chains at elast int he final battle area, which those things can fucking hold down tailed beasts--- Kushina was able to do that right after giving fucking birth when in her argably weakest state.

Karin meanwhile not only has immense chakra pools to draw from but she can heal herself. SHE WAS STABBED THROUGH MULTIPLE VITAL ORGANS. AND SHRUGGED IT OFF LIKE IT WAS N O T H I N G and even was able to afterwords (or before maybe??????) save Tsunade's life AND STILL WASN'T EVEN TIRED IN THE SLIGHTEST.

like, the creator had to make her boy-crazy because ot herwise she'd be a fucking menace. And while boruto i know isn't entirely canon, i still like to think she's capable of the things she did there. WHICH IS LITERALLY CREATING A HUMAN-ISH PERSON FROM A TEST TUBE. SHE CAN RECREATE LIFE WITHOUT THE NEED OF MALE OR FEMALE PRODUCTIVE ORGANS AND GROW IT OUTSIDE OF ANY INFLUENCE OF NEEDING A BODY--- THATS FUCKING HUH??? WHY IS THIS NOT TALKED ABOUT??

but yeah i like her.

[sanityshorror]

I'm making this post - which is very personal - due to a comment that was made about Julius, his eating disorder and appearance. I won't specify further on what exactly was said or where it was said or by who - I don't want drama and honestly, the comment has caused more than enough distress for multiple people already. This is to address the reality of anorexia (and accusations of fetishizing the disorder) - not to call anyone out.

I write Julius's eating disorder (anorexia with purging) based on my own experience (same disorder, medically diagnosed for over a decade). An anorexia diagnosis does mean multiple criteria must be met, one of which is being medically underweight. It's no secret Julius is medically underweight, it's listed on his reference. As far as my current weight, my psychiatrist doesn't want to me to be aware of it and I agree that's for the best so I am not aware of it. However, I can say this much: even when I was notably under 100lbs (mind you, I'm 5'6), my thighs still appeared 'healthy,' given this is where my body retains fat more heavily. I also did have muscles still, as a result of over exercising, which appeared to always be very defined. This is not because I was by any means in shape, but because I was SEVERELY dehydrated all the time - dehydration results in muscles appearing very defined, almost as if one was flexing constantly. (I can't over stress how dangerous dehydration is - don't do it.) This is the reasoning for Julius's body appearing the way it does - it's my OWN experience, hell, he has my own body type! Julius is not remotely healthy in appearance. Just because someone is not literally skeletal in appearance does not mean they are not anorexic (keep in mind, someone can be underweight or even skeletal for reasons completely unrelated to anorexia as well).

The comments that were made about Julius's eating disorder crossed a line. This was not critique of an OC, but telling anorexic people they don't "look" anorexic enough. Keep in mind, a huge part of the disorder is believing you are not thin (sick) enough to need/deserve help!! The comments that were made not only worsened my own current relapse, but many other people came to me about having the same experience after seeing what was said. This caused real harm to real people with anorexia.

If the person who made the comments reads this, please, just take a moment to think about your actions. Do some research on anorexia. You don't need to make a statement because this is not a call out nor am I saying names- because I don't want you to be harassed (I s2g if I hear about harassment from my fans I will not be happy with y'all!!).

Please don't turn this into discourse and drama because it's not. This is meant to educate. furthermore, glamorizing eating disorders is DEPLORABLE - I always have been very vocally pro recovery and encourage anyone who is struggling with body image issues, disordered eating, an eating disorder, or in recovery but at risk at relapse to seek IMMEDIATE professional help or at the very least, contact a crisis line, please! 💖

[paydayquid]

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[dissociacrip]

the delightful dilemma of being multiply physically impaired in ways that directly contradict my ability to efficiently perform my manual labor job duties as a dishwasher in ways that would get me fired if it weren't for the fact that having to overcompensate for my brain and body-wrongness has somehow made me more reliable and consistent than my co-workers - purely in comparison to their typical lack of dedication - and therefore i get a level of responsibility and expectations forced on me that tends to make me sicker. also the fact that i'm working until like 1-2am while having to pretty much sleep on the floor rn.

i didn't call out once while having signs of a herniated disc (not signs of disc herniation according to upper thoracic mri, possibly cci and/or a csf leak) in my cervical/upper thoracic spine causing me excruciating pain that felt like my back/shoulder was on fire and like a knife in the base of my neck, i just left slightly earlier than i was supposed to one time (technically i should have left beforehand based off my schedule but i hadn't caught up dishes all the way due to me being incapable of working fast enough due to my body not working) because the amount of pain i was in was starting to trigger a breakdown. aside from this for the past 2-3 years i have had recurrent episodes of intense, searing pain in my upper back/lower neck accompanied by fairly rapid deterioration of coordination and cognition to the point of slurring my speech and moving/talking like i'm drunk that is only relieved when i lay down for several hours afterwards, which extends beyond my pots symptoms and is suggestive of recurring or flaring csf leaks or cci or both or something. for whatever reason these episodes correlate with working morning hours and have decreased significantly since i've primarily been doing night shift..?

either way though last night my knees still buckled on me a few times when the muscles in my legs started getting weaker on me from exertion. i can't bend down to pick stuff up out of the grates because i get dizzy and almost fell over from it one time. i really only still have this job because my co-workers suck that badly. i haven't had the same energy levels i did before since getting covid in january, though the potential csf/cci shit came before that. i really need to find another fucking job where i can sit down and have minimal interaction with people that pays at least the amount i'm making now but school makes that difficult and my social problems and mild hearing issues get in the way of most desk jobs due to them hinging on customer service work. and actually getting the whole "possible cci/recurring csf leaks" thing addressed in any helpful way is going to be an absolute nightmare. idk where i was going with this i just hate that i'm in this situation of having no choice but to support myself when i'm just barely able to do so with current circumstances and i don't know if my situation is getting progressively worse as time goes on because none of this stuff has been adequately addressed or treating and medical staff don't want to do their fucking jobs properly. i worked for like a month with that "herniated disc" pain and the mri showed nothing helpful like lol ok well i guess i'll just go fuck myself dude.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Anyone else remember anything?

Well if it helps matters, me and Dark Queen share a case; I have the key while Sonia place the briefcase in her homeland.

Oh so it's in Novoselic...?

Indeed, that's where I left it and given you say I be shot on sight I can't exactly go in there as myself.

It's in a hair salon there, I was planning to give Kiriko it but I know she'll never get it.

Same with me and Peko too, we share one as well but I had order Peko to place it somewhere based on her memories of Hope's Peak.

And sadly my memories of the tragedy is rather lacking, I don't remember much about it...

But I know that it's safe and can't be reach, if that helps.

Oh so you don't remember, well that's... gonna be difficult.

Indeed, seems like that one is gonna be hard to get, alright, now Kazuichi and Ibuki? Do you remember yours?

oh right that, well...you see...

Mine is in a factory in China, it's where I created the helmets and there are some robots I place to keep watch of the place.

There's also some radio signal towers which makes Ibuki's music travel far and air polluters that make the skies red, so we need to take down those.

'Yeah and mine is in the Tokyo Radio Tower in Japan but you need to turn off 5 switches, but how to turn them off is a bit unique...'

Unique...how exactly?

'Well... you gotta perform music there, pretty much if you want the switch you need to perform.'

'Sooo if you want mine ya need to be musically inclined!'

'Ah... alright then, that sounds simple, okay then; I suppose that be easy, well Nagi write that down.'

Got it, there we go!

————————————————————————

Currently obtained:

Kei Takahashi

Teruteru Hanamura

Ones we can get:

Ibuki Mioda

Kazuichi Souda

Gundham Tanaka+Sonia Nevermind

Fuyuhiko Kuzuruyu+Peko Pekoyama

Akane Owari (Only getting Key)

Barricaded:

Mahiru Koizumi

Hajime Hinata/Izuru Kamukura

Ones we can’t get due to medical reasons:

Hiyoko Saionji

Mikan Tsumiki

Nekomaru Nidai

Nagito Komaeda

————————————————————————

Thank you, I'll be sure to inform Kyoko and the others about this; so we can get 4 to 5 of these.

Alright, is that all you wanted to say?

Well... no there's more to it, there is one thing we need to address and it's about a different matter.

You see... due to us exposing Pig Boy as being connected to Ultimate Despairs, it... had some consequences...

Wa-Wait it did, I mean sure I open a restaurant but it couldn't have been that bad, could it?!

Sadly it was, because we expose it; this lead to other foundations that don't know your alive right now are starting to look into it as they are being affected as well.

And because of that, we uh... need to make a recommendation for you all...

And what would that be? Will do anything you wish if it means righting this wrong.

Well if we want to get the briefcases, you... might need to change yourselves.

Change ourselves...? You mean...

Yes, it means that you might need to change your identities and everything a bit sooner then expected, I wanted to hold off on it a bit longer but given the circumstances, we might need to work on changing your appearances a bit more quickly - I'm sorry but it has to be done.

[silvestromedia]

Lord, weary from the journey and lacking strength, I have arrived, returning to you.

Just as each morning, I rise to dedicate the first hours of my day to you because you give me the strength to navigate life and make sense of my days. 

Today is one of those mornings when I humbly request your grace once more, not only for myself but for all of us trying to avoid sinking into the depths of despair.

All that has been unfolding in our country lately drains the joy from the heart of the nation. We find ourselves compelled to forge a new and more profound relationship with Russia, among other alliances. I wonder, as do many others, if there aren't any alternatives from within. 

Is it possible that there are no other pathways to escape the hole in which we have been placed for years? Must the only solution now be to become someone else's territory, with ownership of nothing? 

And so, with these temporary shadows that serve only as palliative care, they will endeavor to persuade us that this is the best way, and once again, we might find ourselves bowing our heads, as if we believe it.

I persistently resist the notion that people's voices are not respected, that we are not consulted. I resist the imposition of solutions upon us, and the attempt to make us believe in this new spectacle, as if we were not thinking individuals who wish the best for everyone. It's as though they forget that we are fully aware that together, we could find ways out of this old and painful situation.

God! I refuse to silence this pain! I cannot bear the thought of students being forced to learn Russian again. I don't want to see our mothers suffering at the thought of their children serving abroad, far from Cuba. The burden is heavy enough when our young people have to go on compulsory military service. We are all too aware of the toll this service has taken and continues to take on us, including the tragic loss of lives.

Will you make our voices heard? Will you prompt the appearance of someone with authority in our country who will genuinely address the current situation of violence, insecurity and the pervasive sense of uncertainty with no apparent solutions? Will someone address the hunger that plagues people, with limited access to food, and the diseases coupled with a shortage of medical supplies?

Lord, I refuse to silence this pain! Can you make our voices heard? (Unsplash/Stephan Valentin)

Will our dignity and human rights be respected? Will we be able to live in safe and healthy cities, with clean streets and functional sewers? Is it reasonable for a country to experience flooding due to the collapse of its drainage infrastructure, especially when the timing of the rainy and hurricane season is well-documented? Will they consider the aftermath of these floods? How will they address and resolve the material losses incurred?

Help us, Lord, to shift our focus from other nations like China or Russia and turn it inward to ourselves. We need to recognize the need to come together, to find common ground, and rewrite our own history. 

As your children, we understand that our unity is more important than that of any earthly nation. Let us set aside our arrogance and open our hearts to diverse, valid, intelligent and accurate perspectives. May we engage in respectful dialogue and together seek truth and wisdom.

We pray for the strength to reject absurd impositions and oppressive systems and to adopt a new form of governance that aligns with our values. It is time for us to humbly acknowledge that what has been attempted and imposed for decades does not serve us well, and we must move forward toward a brighter future.

May the Cuban authorities have a change of heart and recognize that withdrawing from their course of action would be a wiser choice. Don't allow them to continue with the same outdated model, which even those of us without any official authority can clearly see has not been the way forward for a long time. 

May they be open to listening to those of us who think differently and understand that expressing our honest beliefs does not make us enemies. And to us, Lord, grant the strength not to remain silent or to be accomplices to the suffering and senselessness that we witness daily.

May we find the courage to raise our voices against new laws, even when we fear the possibility of losing.

Lord, if we remain silent, we will die — withering away slowly — consumed by sadness and all the burdens we bear.

Lord, before you I present my desire that we may be heard, that this cry may reach the ears of those in positions of authority. (Pixabay)

Grant us the gift of resilience to hold onto our fragile hope, for I, like José Martí, believe in the potential for human betterment. I continue to believe in the possibility of happiness for people and firmly believe that you are the master of life and history. 

I lay before you my sincere wish that our cry can reach the ears of those who govern. May their hearts, as human as mine, be moved by the stark reality of those who endure the most suffering. I pray that the soul of our nation may no longer be hardened by so much pain and suffering.

May the authorities grant the release of those who are unjustly imprisoned, including those in July, November, San Isidro and Caimanera. 

May there be an end to the scarcity of bread on our tables and the basic necessities that many cannot afford to buy, as you are well aware. 

Let there be no more lives lost due to the shortage of medicines in our hospitals.

May our streets be free from insecurity and violence, and may we see an end to police brutality. 

May there be an end to repression and defamation against those who hold different beliefs.

Let there be no more unfulfilled promises.

May those who wield power for personal gain and use it to threaten those beneath them face accountability and consequences for their actions. 

I humbly ask that the Cuban people be granted the opportunity to live with respect and dignity. I ask that those in positions of authority be willing to listen to us. Meanwhile, we will continue to pray, hoping that our needs and concerns will be heard, and we will continue in our efforts to alleviate the suffering and despair of those who have exhausted all options.

As we receive your body and blood, given to us as nourishment, may we also receive the support and strength to redefine our commitment and service to our people. May we, with renewed determination, seek solutions from within and among us, uniting for the common good. 

Amen.

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - What We Don't Talk About When It Comes to Suicide Prevention

Beyond crisis intervention Jennifer Gerlach LCSW THE BASICS - Suicide Risk Factors and Signs - Find a therapist near me KEY POINTS - Fear of hospitalization often leads clients to conceal thoughts of suicide from mental health professionals. - Therapists may fear making the 'wrong' choice in intervention with clients experiencing thoughts of suicide. - By openly discussing and addressing fears, therapists and clients can collaborate toward safety. "If I call that number you gave me, will they call the cops?" With the rollout of 9-8-8, I, like most therapists, have been enthusiastic to give the number. Still, it has sparked several questions. I want clients to be comfortable using resources when needed, so I answer as best as I can. Yet, the fear is real. Discussing thoughts of suicide can ramp up anxieties on both the client's and clinician's sides. We clinicians worry about making the 'right' choice regarding appropriate intervention, the client's well-being, the possibility of missing something, and ultimately the risk of life. For individuals reaching out for help, fear tends to center more on coercion, such as police involvement, involuntary hospitalization, or even feeling more misunderstood at a critical moment. Before I go on, the answer to the question, 'Will they call the cops?' is usually no. The goal of resources such as crisis intervention is to offer support without coercion unless it is necessary. Most calls to crisis lines do not result in police intervention. Clinician Fears I began my career in crisis intervention, meeting with individuals amid a mental health crisis, which often included thoughts of suicide. I learned about forms to measure suicide risk, risk factors, and protective factors as well as the importance of remaining human. It's amazing how something as deeply personal as crisis counseling can become mechanical if we are not careful to keep a person-centered focus. In crisis intervention, the primary objectives are often the assessment of risk and the creation of a plan to minimize that risk. Meeting the person and their needs is also essential. While structured suicide risk assessment tools exist, there is no clear calculator for such. No form can tell the future. The experience of feeling both responsible and ultimately not having control of the outcome can be overwhelming. Therapists often share fears related to client suicide. It is perhaps the greatest hazard of our work. We care about clients. Effective management of that anxiety is essential. Still, some anxiety is unavoidable. Current figures of suicide are at an all-time high (Center for Disease Control, 2024) with each of those numbers representing a human life and loss for many who loved them. Client Fears On the other side, clients often carry their fears. In my experience, one of the top concerns has been going to the hospital. This has typically been from individuals who attempted suicide in the past or had psychiatric hospitalization for other reasons. Meta-analysis has found that about one in five individuals who attempt suicide go on to make a second suicide attempt, and individuals with a history of suicide attempt are at some of the highest risks of dying by suicide (de la Torre-Luque et al., 2023). Historically, psychiatric hospitalization following medical stabilization has been standard practice following a suicide attempt or presentation to an emergency room with intentions of suicide. Yet many individuals report negative experiences regarding hospitalization. A qualitative study of 11 women hospitalized due to thoughts of suicide found that many felt dehumanized during their stay (Hagen et al., 2020). Most locked wards are highly secure and individuals are stripped of the comforts of things like shoelaces, their usual shampoo, and even many clothing options, all in the name of safety. Other qualitative research found that many who received psychiatric hospitalization found it to be prison-like and isolating. This is especially concerning as feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, and isolation are strong contributors to a suicidal mindset (Lindgren et al., 2019). Restraint, seclusion, and sedation are common in inpatient units and can be frightening to witness, adding a threat component. Also, while group interventions may be offered in a hospital, robust individual therapy usually does not take place there. Groups in an inpatient environment are often facilitated by techs who have little in the way of formal therapy training. Sessions with a psychiatrist are typically short and pointed to stabilization over longer-term goals. Hospitalization is a safe place to bridge between a crisis and a more sustainable treatment plan, however the overall quality of therapeutic treatment within acute inpatient settings is often poor. Ironically, death by suicide after release from an inpatient mental health unit is all too common and some have suggested that adverse experiences in inpatient settings may play a role here (Chung et al., 2016). To date, there is no publication to show that hospitalization reduces the risk of suicide. On the contrary, some have suggested the potential harm of psychiatric hospitalization, citing the marked increased risk of death by suicide after an inpatient stay and other negative outcomes (Ward-Ciesielski and Rizvi, 2021). A study of 66 individuals who admitted to concealing thoughts of suicide from their therapists found that fear of involuntary hospitalization was by far the chief reason reported (Blanchard et al., 2020). The study found that many clients feared even mentioning the slightest thought that could result in hospitalization even when they did not feel at significant risk. Fears of sharing these thoughts can leave individuals who are in a space of suicidal crisis feeling alone when they most need support. Reality The reality is that clinicians cannot help what they do not know. Clients must feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts of suicide when needed, and we must have effective ways to intervene. The truth is, we do. Crisis intervention is not synonymous with hospitalization. At times, hospitalization may be necessary to rescue an individual at imminent risk, yet it exists on a long continuum of intervention options ranging from safety plans to the removal of lethal means to follow-up phone calls to staying with a friend to spending a few hours at a crisis intervention center. Effective suicide prevention measures are individualized. Most individuals reaching out to a crisis intervention line do not find themselves faced with coercive measures. Rather, they are given a lifesaving opportunity to be joined by another person when they are in a state of need. Still, these fears remain. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub What We Know About What Prevents Suicide Beyond our fears, suicide prevention initiatives have shown success. Research shows that involvement in psychotherapy reduces the risk of suicide in individuals who have made a prior attempt (Sobanski et al., 2021). As long as immediate risk can be kept at bay, psychotherapy can focus on addressing the problems underlying an individual's thoughts of suicide, augmenting a sense of hope, rallying their support system, and ultimately moving toward what the individual deems a life worth living. For many, thoughts of suicide develop over a long course of time, so active monitoring of these thoughts met with appropriate ongoing support is often necessary. In addition, especially for younger individuals, sudden changes in circumstances (such as a breakup or a failing grade) can lead to a rapid change in mental state. These individuals may benefit from psychotherapies that offer 24-hour skills coaching calls with a therapist between sessions as is offered in many Dialectical Behavior Therapy programs. Follow-up after a mental health crisis has also been shown to be effective, as well as the creation of a specific safety plan (Nuij et al., 2021). It's important to note here that this is different from a 'no-harm contract.' Historically no-harm contracts were a method of suicide risk prevention that involved a person signing a paper that they would not hurt themselves. In contrast, a safety plan involves a discussion of what an individual needs to survive the crisis and is not meant to be coercive or liability-focused. It's a plan of how to work toward a person's safety and well-being between contacts with mental health professionals and what to do if a person does not feel they can stay safe. Effective suicide prevention initiatives must also look beyond the individual to the community. While interventions for suicidal thoughts often focus on the treatment of conditions like depression, social factors also contribute to thoughts of suicide. According to the interpersonal theory of suicide, a sense of not belonging coupled with a sense of being a burden can trigger thoughts of suicide. Depression can strengthen this, yet thoughts of suicide often have social as well as psychological sources (Van Orden et al., 2010). With the strong link between suicide and isolation (Motillon-Toudic et al., 2022), there is also a place for community intervention outside the formal mental health system. Resourcing someone's family and building a stronger sense of belonging are often key to resolving suicidal crises. A systemic review of 185 clinical trials found that social support interventions are often an effective suicide prevention strategy (Hou et al., 2022). We Have to Talk About It Suicide prevention is not only something for mental health providers to target but also something we must tackle together as a community. In our communities, we need to talk openly about loneliness, hopelessness, and the reality of suicide. We can encourage and guide each other to support. On the clinical front, along with other measures, open conversations about suicide prevention need to take place about fear on both the clinician and client sides. Fear limits our effectiveness in a way that can be dangerous in these scenarios. Clients who have had negative experiences in the past when they have revealed thoughts of suicide might especially need support. As well, consultation groups and supervision can assist clinicians in navigating these difficult terrains. Collaboratively, we can move toward more effective efforts to reduce suicide built on compassion and hope rather than fear. If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory. Read the full article

[bortbytingen]

I'm currently suffering from Autistic Burnout and I've been trying what I can to get some kind of support for months. I wasn't sure if I should write anything about this here, but decided that I need to word some of my frustrations with being sent around and no one really willing (or able) to help.

26 Sep 2023 - Medicine review at my Community Mental Health Team (I'm diagnosed with autism, adhd and ptsd, and take adhd medications). This was my first time to this specific CMHT, so the doctor went through a questionnaire. While there, I mentioned to him that I've had many bad experiences in the past and that it takes a lot for me to open up. The doctor apologises and hopes I'll find it better here. When the question comes about hurting myself or self-termination, I'm honest and tell him about my exhaustion, decline in abilities and that I've had "dissociative walks" (I walk around and I'm aware, but also not, I don't feel anything and I can't control where I'm going and so on. I usually can't speak then either) and that one of them almost ended with me jumping off a cliff. To this, he just hummed and then continued with other questions. This plus some other things didn't make me feel very seen or listened to.

28 Sep 2023 - Appointment at my GP surgery to ask for help and get a sick note. The GP I met was great and seemed to understand me. She was the first one ever thanking me for giving her a letter and didn't mind written communication or my way of experience emotions in colours. I got a sick note and a date for a follow up appointment.

12 Oct 2023 - Follow up appointment. The GP I met was sick and I got to see another who literally made me cry. He might be good with other things, but he absolutely do not know how to handle autistic people with mental health issues.

16 Nov 2023 - Appointment with my GP surgery's Mental Health Nurse. The meeting in itself was ok. Got a referral to the Primary Mental Health Support Services and to some course by Mind. I was supposed to get an email with link and notes of what we had talked about, but I never did (and yes, I checked spam and that they have the right email address).

3 Jan 2024 - Triage appointment at Primary Mental Health Support Services (PMHSS). They are a resource aid and doesn't have any support themselves, but the triage nurse at least acknowledge that autistic people require adapted support and adapted therapy for it to work and not risk being harmful (first time someone ever admitted that to me). I later got a letter that summarised the meeting and with links to help: online CBT, online self-help resources and contact details to the Integrated Autism Services. Online CBT: My symptoms is too severe to be accepted and I was told to contact my GP for more correct support (so back to square one). Online self-help resources: Very basic. Nothing new and nothing geared towards autism. NHS Autism Services: Eventually e-mailed them, although they seem to prefer phone calls, which I'm unable to make. Another Autism Service: I've contacted them before and they never answered.

23 Jan 2024 - Meeting with Mind. They were uncertain what to do help me, so the person I met wanted to talk to their supervisor and then we'd meet the next week. Due to me later realising I already had two big meetings that week, I emailed and asked if we could rebook that appointment. I still haven't received and answer from them.

20 Feb 2024 - Got an email from the NHS based Autism Services (AS) and all it contained was links to National Autistic Society and to their own website. Both being places I've checked several times before.

As of today, 21 Feb 2024, I still haven't received any actual support. I have no one that can help me. I've tried to find an advocate, but have so far not succeeded. All that has happened is that I feel completely ignored and unseen, and I seem to keep having a decline in my life skill abilities as well as my abilities to speak. I live with a friend, but she isn't doing well herself and can't join me for meetings due to her working, but she does make phone calls for me now and then. Unfortunately, our relationship is a bit strained atm due to her new roommate (a friend of hers) that I don't get along with. AS was basically my last hope and that didn't go exactly well, so now I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't even know if I have energy to proceed at all anyway.

[shialor]

This is really just a vent post because I need to voice my.thoughts somehow or other.

TW: body dysphoria + dysmorphia, medical treatment, needles, mental health stuff and general difficulty.

Okay. I've received a diagnosis for both gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia in August of 2023, though both therapists involved had full schedules and I couldn't see them regularly afterwards. I will hopefully be seeing one of them soon-ish though.

The problem I'm facing, which I recognize is mostly anxiety is that even with the diagnosis I will be prevented from starting HRT or doing most other forms of transitioning really. This is partly due to the...somewhat lackadaisical manner in which my gender distress was approached by both of them; and I admit I...I guess I'll say "softened" the intensity of my feelings, both because that's just what I've learned to do and because I am afraid of seeming manic about it. I don't want my desire to transition to be taken not as something that needs addressing but as a symptom of trauma or of my body dysmorphia.

But I am desperate. I don't go a waking hour without thinking about how much I want to be a girl. How much I want to go on hormones. How much I want to do and be that I can't right now. But I don't want to seem like someone clinging to an escape rather than finally having found a place of peace.

I understand and am for going slowly around most things medically. Being disabled, chronically Ill, having weird responses to medication and close family member with the same will teach you a lot about not making too many changes at once, about carefully analyzing somethings effects a little at a time. I also understand that I've been "actively" pursuing my gender dysphoria for a short time, only a few years in fact. The truth is that its been bothering me since before I was six, I just didn't know what it was or how to explain it. Growing up with no Internet access didn't help with my knowledge on that front. (It wasn't that I wasn't allowed Internet access, we literally didn't have any till I was 10, we didn't know about thing like steam so we played games off of discs on old computers without any Internet connection, and while we all got personal computers eventually I didn't have one until I was 12. That and my Father being a programmer and paranoid of viruses and the like didn't leave me comfortable using the Internet in any form for some time)

Why is body dysmorphia taken more seriously and as a bigger problem than body dysphoria? If the things that bother me about my body are the things that would change, that there is way to instead have them bring comfort, why must I learn to love them before my desire to change them be taken seriously?

And then there's the fact that while I don't have a phobia of needles, any kind of injection is DEEPLY unpleasant to me. And if HRT is commonly given as an injection, what happens if it becomes too much? What happens if I can't take getting stabbed anymore? Does it just stop, I've "failed" until such a time as I çan handle the needles again? Would asking for a different method be seem as proof that I'm not serious about how much I need/want to transition?

All this to say, I've received my diagnoses and been told "do small things for a couple of years if you must, and don't try anything more until you can say you love your current body wholeheartedly." And I hate it.

But what I fear most is that caution, that paranoia being right. I have nightmares about one day suddenly realizing I'm comfortable as I am. I have nightmares about choosing not to transition. I think about that possibility and a kind of horror I cannot put into words seeps into me. I imagine that possibility and all I feel is cold emptiness almost identical to the times I've just lost a loved one, but without any hope surrounding it, without the knowledge that it will return to me someday. It feels like dying. It feels like if the day were ever to come to pass that I no longer strive to be girl, I would die. Not even off myself, but simply die because my soul no longer belongs in my body. Die of misery of a broken heart, of the total removal of all that is me.

I want to transition, I want to move forward, I want even some rather extreme surgeries though I'm perfectly willing to wait on that. But I'm so afraid that somewhere deep down I don't desire these things because they're what I want or what's right for me, but because I'm too broken elsewhere.

I'm not afraid of transitioning not fixing everything wrong with me, I'm afraid of fixing something else making me not want/need to transition anymore.

I don't know how to move forward, I feel lost in zugzwang. I can't demand to move faster, or else it'll be ignored as a dysmorphia/trauma issue and not a dysphoria one. I can't just wait it out, every day kills me a little more, especially with the rest of my family going "yeah, you go wear a skirt and makeup. Don't get hormones, don't change your name, don't change your pronouns, don't change the way you act." I can't just go find a different therapist, I've had a really bad track record and these two are highly regarded in gender dysphoria cases especially, and it took more than year to try and get to any therapists whatsoever and finding another will take longer. I can't just go to an informed-consent clinic and start HRT on my own, I don't have a job, I can't drive, I don't have a degree, and I'm disabled a couple different ways so I can't stand for more than 30 minutes at a time and I couldn't do most desk jobs, even if they were remote.

I don't know what to do to start achieving any goals or hopes for my life or for me especially, and I'm terrified of it getting worse if I try.

[inside-the-tardis]

Guten Morgen Manchester

I adore you and breathe your air as you fill me up inside.

I've been living here close to two years now and I wish to write and document all I feel about this city, all I know and what my perspective is.

Beginning, of course with football. A beautiful creation, the football and the game of soccer. I must confess I do not know what is an offisde, but like most other things, I have kept it a mystery for later. MCFC and MUFC, the battling giants, though not always so prominent have always been the city's flagbearers when it comes to athletic sports.

I have a personal vested interest in football and the like. I wish to undergo medical training (alot of it, self taught) and become a Sports Therapist and treat sport injuries, mainly centering around football, volleyball or contact sports.

The City itself offers much more besides sport. The house I live in, with all things considered is a beautiful, exquisite place, one of its kind in all of Manchester and many a people have address envy, though not much location envy as the building itself is situated outside the citys ring road. Not too far however as my apartment lies on Chester Rd which closely joins the Ring Road, leading to Deansgate-Castlefield in Manchester, which is one of the posh centres of the city. Deansgate offers a variety of pubs, restaurants and other such varied experiences including arcade games, and more drinking and more dancing with pubs ranging from expensive and bougee to trashy and cheap. All throughout City Centre and near Piccadilly Gardens, but more so towards Northern Quarter and Gay Village. Beautiful, beautiful areas of the city and so so special. Deansgate cannot be completely described without mentioning the arrayway of canals and multiple house boats that line the canal, with little colurful (one red, one green) bridges running across the water carrying trams, or people on foot. A very nice blend of modern by idyllic English dwelling, something I prize and miss and yearn and believe is part of my calling.

It is Gemini season which means all the enrgy around is in flux, it is intellectual and mercurial, it is witty and communicative, it eludes me and baffles me and still asks me to indulge, and I have but very poor outlets for frustrations of this kind. Writing helps, writing helps immensely but there is always the debate of digital versus physical. There is always the filtering and processing of the though flow, the thinking up of sentence,s of words , of concepts not easy to put into words, and the idea then remains lost, buried. Truly, language is complex and one must tread carefully, lest people be more prone towards misunderstanding and taking offense these days (we do live in 2023 now,,) and it is the most NOW it has ever been.

Close to noon on a beautiful Sunday, many thoughts and tasks run through my mind. I need to do much and many things I need to sort out before the week can begin. I have more than a few work tasks due and no idea how I'm going tog et around to doing them. As my sister is bunking with me currently and for the past two weeks we have had no free time to do all the things we have wanted to, because of work and because of life.

Today happens to be her last day in the beautiful city and a nice beautiful conclusion to the trip. I hope to see you when I see you, sister.

After which I have no respite and another date with a friend where we will talk, relax and have a bit of down time. More on that fiasco later.

While I don't start my work week on Mondays, I do prefer chill time and they plan on leaving by 4pm, which I believe is nice and decent.

There is alot I wish to put in writing before I die, alot of real work, but even more morgue work, trains of thoughts and snippets of my mind which all require documenting and recording, all of which I wish to compile into a digital? perhaps medium. So I can just log on and write, however, most stuff I write I don;t want peopel to read, so for those precious thoughts and in order to not lose my writing ability, I will continue to write with pens and pencils, for the rest of my life.