#that is what pisses me off the most when people other than nyx or say maybe lib know of hes a traitor

[distant-velleity]

cat got your tongue?

Summary: Five times Yuhua didn't say what he thought and one time he finally snapped at someone other than Ace (verbally. You don't get the physical beatdown yet). Word count: 3.6k+ A/N: LMFAO okay so. I had this idea like 3 weeks ago but I only got around to writing it recently. It's ... honestly somewhere between serious and slightly crack treated seriously but yk fuck it we ball. No beta. Outsider POV. FloYu crumbs and everything. Let's go. (Also a sneak peek at my new OC :))) ) Taglist (lowk forgot who's on this so uhhhhh. Some people might have been tagged incorrectly): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@boopshoops @skriblee-ksk @nemisisnemi @nyx-of-night @scint1llat3

@the-banana-0verlord @beneathsakurashade

~

I. 

One day where he can make it out of the cafeteria in peace. That’s all Florian wants. And yet—

“Hey, freak. Where’s that meal combo you promised to get for me? And the homework you said you’d do for me?”

Eeeek!!!

Florian almost bursts into tears on the spot when someone in his grade, a burly bear beastman, grabs him by the back of his collar. It hasn’t even been two weeks into the school year and this guy, Darren, has made it his personal mission to target the weakest student he could find. 

“Uh—um—I—” Aaaahhhh!! Get me out of here!!!!! “M—My housewarden, Rosehearts, he… He caught me trying to do your homework for you, a-and…”

“Bullshit,” Darren snaps, “You—”

He’s cut off when someone bumps into him—that someone being none other than the magicless assistant, Yuhua. 

Yuhua. Florian’s saved! He’s really saved! Surely, the person who’d suddenly gotten involved with Heartslabyul’s tyranny and pulled off such heroic moves can do something about this…!!

“Whoa… Sorry. What’s going on here?” asks Yuhua.

Darren glares at him, and Florian wilts from second-hand fear. “Nothing, just a talk between classmates. Keep moving.”

Florian gives Yuhua the most pitiful, pleading, desperate look he can in the hopes that it’ll communicate a cry for help.

It seems to work, because the TA turns to the other freshman and tilts his head. “Yeah… That’s definitely all that’s going on? No intimidation or anything?”

“How’s any of that your business?”

“Hey—” Yuhua throws up his hands in a placating gesture, although his expression looks very bothered. “I’m just asking…”

Well, that doesn’t work. Darren lets out a low growl from the depths of his throat. “Who the hell do you think you are, seriously? You think a bunch of rumors are gonna make me afraid of you? Fuck off already.”

Yuhua frowns. “Then… Then maybe you shouldn’t consider doing this in the middle of the cafeteria if it’s private business?”

“Are you kidding me?” Another pissed off growl, and Darren shoves Yuhua. “I could burn you to ashes like it’s nothing. Don’t forget that you’re magicless.”

It’s not directed at Florian, really, but he can’t help but wither and shrink into himself even more on Yuhua’s behalf. Scary… He wants to say something to defend Yuhua, to say that everything’s fine, but—when he looks over at the TA…

Yuhua opens his mouth automatically as if to say something, then closes it. Florian isn’t nearly good enough at reading that kind of complicated expression yet, but he seems to consider something deeply for a second. “Jeez… You know what?”

“What?”

Florian stays silent, eyes wide. He mentally echoes the question—what? Did Yuhua come up with a genius plan to de-escalate the situation? Or to retaliate? Please, please, say this knight in shining armor will do something—

“I just remembered, Crewel needs Florian for something~” Putting on a smile that seems fake even to Florian, Yuhua switches up his mood like it’s nothing. “Sorry. Maybe we can resolve this another time.”

Florian and Darren blurt out, “Huh?” at the same time. 

“Come on. He won’t wait forever.” Yuhua pats Florian on the shoulder and uses that to quickly weave them into the crowd of students, making their escape. As much of an escape as it can be called—they’re really only saved by being smaller compared to the beastman, small enough to get through the lunch line mob.

Sigh…

To be honest, Florian was expecting something a little cooler after seeing Yuhua’s defeat of Riddle, but as long as he’s safe for now…

—

II.

It’s a beautiful day outside, the birds are chirping, and the flowers are blooming… something like that. Meanwhile, Ace could be doing something fun right now, but he’s stuck doing an assignment for potions class. Collecting ingredients in the botanical garden… does it get more boring than that? Someone, free him already.

At least he’s pretty sure Yu’s around here somewhere. So, once he’s done collecting a jar-ful of some plant with a name too long to memorize, he’s off to find his yellow-eyed partner in crime.

Making sure to avoid the tropical zone (Yu had warned him about a… uh, certain lion beastman taking naps there), Ace navigates the garden with the ease of a slightly-familiar tourist. The TA had said he’d be near the entrance, so—

“Well? What are you just standing there for?”

…Huh?

Ace turns a corner on the path and is immediately greeted by a sight he probably should have expected—a fight, or something, a commotion smack in the middle of the botanical garden.

“You—Is there some cue I’m missing here?” asks Yu, and Ace realizes with some horror that he’s holding a very obviously bruised cheek. Umm, what the fuck? “Is this suddenly your… territory, or something?”

The other guy, the one who’d spoken earlier, crosses his arms. “No… but I told you to scram already, so scram. Just seeing a magicless charity case here makes me sick.”

Magicless charity case. It’s not the first time Ace has heard those words directed at Yu, and it definitely won’t be the last. Still, it makes his blood boil, and by the looks of it Yu is getting pretty pissed, too. 

Ace steps forward, finding his place next to Yu. “Uh, who the hell even are you?” he asks the other guy. “Don’t talk to Yu like that.”

“Ace?” Yu blinks. “What are you—”

“See? A charity case.” The other guy tsks. “You even need a freshman to help you out.”

No, seriously, what is this guy’s deal? What did Yu even do to warrant getting hit and treated like this? Ace swears the TA is a magnet for trouble. 

“He’s not—” Yu closes his mouth, and takes a deep breath. “Okay, then. Have it your way. Ace, did you get everything you needed?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Great. Let’s go.”

Even though Yu is a solid eleven or so centimeters shorter than him, Ace finds himself being dragged out of the garden by the coat lapels. He stumbles, but Yu keeps pressing forward, storming away until they’re well out of earshot from that prick.

Finally, Yu lets go.

“What was that?” Ace demands, straightening his labcoat to the best of his ability.

“I don’t know,” mutters Yu. “Some asshole. I don’t even know his name.”

“Okay. And why did we just leave like that? He hit you, didn’t he? And what he called you—you’re just gonna let that slide?”

Ace is, to be frank, nothing short of bewildered. Doesn’t Yu have any sort of dignity, a sense of, what, honor? Yes he does, Ace is pretty sure he’s seen it, so why didn’t he just… you know… let himself be mad?

Yu rolls his eyes. “It’s fine. There were still other students there, you know. I didn’t want to cause a scene.”

Cause a—

“Now, can we go to the infirmary? I don’t like talking to the nurse on my own.”

“You—”

Oh, what the hell. 

Ace doesn’t get it at all, he wishes Yu would have stood up for himself, but fine. That stupid bruise won’t heal itself.

—

III.

To call the Mostro Lounge boring would be inaccurate. With a bustling population of both students and employees at most times of the day, there’s always some entertainment to be had for Jade. Especially when he’s on the job, serving drinks and handling disputes.

But, well… That isn’t to say he minds when there’s a bit of additional drama. Especially on the day when Azul has asked Yuhua to cover someone’s shift.

CRASH!

An Ignihyde student shoves the TA, although it looks like a mere accident—a rush to get back to his well-earned seat after using the bathroom. Consequently, the drinks for their table are spilled… all over Yuhua, who’s been knocked to the ground.

“What the hell?!” demands the student. “You clumsy little bitch—those were our drinks!”

Stunned, Yuhua is frozen, staring at the fallen drinks in shame. “I—”

Oh, dear. There’s a bit of a berth forming around them, multiple people craning their heads to look at the source of the shouting, but Jade can get a good look even from this distance. 

“I can’t believe this.” The student continues to go on a tirade, complaining about the service, about whoever let Yuhua work—and finishes off with, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Oh my—what arrogance. 

Jade is rather certain, actually, that this Pomefiore student was one of many who had been turned into anemones by Azul just a few weeks ago. It seems that he’s painfully unaware of how much Yuhua had sacrificed to save his sorry hide, however.

And Jade is certain that the same thought is running through Yuhua’s mind right now, although he can’t quite see his face. The TA digs his long nails into the fabric of his pants, a clear sign of suppressing anger.

Oh, dear~ Perhaps, it’s time for Jade to extend a helping hand—

Instead of fighting back, Yuhua lets out a soft sigh that blows his bangs out of his face. The action reminds Jade something of a popped balloon.

“Sorry,” the pitiful TA replies, finally raising his head. His expression is neutral despite the remaining redness of his cheeks. “I’ll take care of it. You’ll be rightfully compensated for this.” Said a bit despairingly, resigned. 

It seems to appease the student, who grumbles a little more before sitting back down. 

Yuhua’s lips set into a thin line for a moment. He gets himself back onto his feet, only kneeling down again to collect the fallen drink glasses and tray. The other waiters make a respectful, awkward space around him as they walk by.

How… disappointing. Jade would have anticipated more of a fight, based on not only certain rumors but also what he had seen during Azul’s Overblot, but it seems Yuhua hadn’t quite reached the boiling point just now. Instead, he’d settled for people-pleasing.

If it were me, thinks Jade with a pleasant smile on his face, I wouldn’t have let that ungrateful anemone escape with all his teeth and joints intact.

But in any case—

“Do you need any assistance?” he asks, approaching Yuhua.

He gets a surprised look for his troubles, and a rejection. “No, it’s okay…” Yuhua smiles, laughing it off. “The customer’s always in the right, right? I’ll handle it myself.”

Having been brushed off, Jade simply watches as Yuhua scurries back over to the kitchen counter.

Hmm. I wonder if he’s simply playing the long game, then…

—

IV.

Of all the places that Jamil usually expects to hear arguing, the library ranks last. Generally. Not that it’s always free from arguing, but that’s probably on him for having even the slightest faith in NRC students. 

Speaking of which, that’s exactly what he hears when he enters the library one day after classes: arguing. It’s coming from behind a shelf, so Jamil has to guess who it is based on voice alone.

“Please quiet down.” That’s… Crewel’s assistant, Yuhua. “Crewel needs me to borrow this, okay?”

“Uh, hello? Are you not good enough to be his assistant, or something? I need it more. So just hand it over already.”

Jamil stifles a sharp, stressed inhale. That’s a Scarabia student, no doubt—one of his former roommates. Ugh. And just when he thought he could skirt by without having to get involved. What a way to reflect poorly on our whole dorm…

He creeps around the side of the shelf, and what he sees confirms his well-educated guess. A student with a maroon armband towers over Yuhua, who holds a rather thick textbook in hand. The student’s back is to Jamil, but Yuhua’s expression is still visible…

Wait a minute. What the hell? Is… Is Yuhua glaring at the taller guy?

Jamil recalls a conversation he’d had with Ace just the other day: Ace had been in such a hurry to get out of practice that he’d caused multiple… inconveniences for others.

“Yu’s gonna kill me if I’m late for studying!” was his excuse.

“Why are you so scared of Yuhua?” Jamil had asked. Even though Yuhua had been… present, for his Overblot, he still didn’t quite get the control the TA seemed to have over the freshmen. 

“You don’t get it, man,” Ace had said. “I almost pissed myself the first time Yu got seriously mad at me. You don’t think anything’s happening because he’s just narrowing his eyes at you, but it’s like toggling a lightswitch. He gets violent out of nowhere.”

At the time, Jamil had shrugged it off with his normal amount of skepticism. Even though he had proved himself able to be as two-faced and cruel as any other student in this school (Jamil never, in his life, wanted to be on the receiving end of the full Octavinelle trio’s scheming again), Yuhua still seemed too… docile. Too naturally passive to be like that when angry. It wasn’t the first time Ace had exaggerated, either.

But now, he’s seeing all the warning signs Ace had mentioned. How Yuhua is narrowing his eyes like an irked cat. If he allows this to continue, then—Oh, great. A fight. In the library, no less. Another problem he’ll have to clean up because it’s his dorm’s student who likely started this mess and will inevitably get into trouble.

With a long-suffering sigh, Jamil steps forward to intervene—

“...Okay, fine,” Yuhua concedes, although it’s a bit of a reluctant grumble. He holds out the textbook instead of bashing it over the student’s head like Jamil had expected him to. 

A scoff. “See? Wasn’t that hard.”

“...Right.” Yuhua turns as the student walks away, so his expression is unreadable. 

Huh.

Jamil stares blankly for a few moments. That… did not go as he expected, at all. 

So much for ‘explosive anger,’ really. Yuhua had just given up.

Well, whatever. Jamil will just chalk it up to Ace’s overdramatic nature and think nothing of it. As long as it was resolved peacefully without needing him to risk grey hairs…

—

V.

When Vil calls for a rare water break, Rook takes the opportunity to observe the NRC Tribe’s stiffest fledglings. 

Today, again, they’ve taken on pirouettes in a corner where they can still see the mirror. Certainly, it makes for quite a sight: the normally-withdrawn TA trying to instruct two freshmen who have likely never seen a true ballet performance in their lives.

Rook had known Yuhua had a history in dance and music from the start—there was a clear lift to his chin and in his posture when he didn’t feel insecure, holding himself high and sitting on the edge of every seat. He walked with a slight turnout, and was light on his feet; not to mention the controlled expressiveness of his hands. However, the TA didn’t seem to enjoy flaunting these facts, making moments like these all the more enjoyable. 

“Epel.” Yuhua frowns, a little soft and yet a little frustrated. “Are you trying?”

The Pomefiore freshman bites the inside of his lower lip. “Uh, well…”

A sigh. “That’s about what I thought. Vil and I aren’t asking much: just a clean single so you can master the basics.” Yuhua crosses his arms. “Is something on your mind?”

“I just…” Epel grimaces. “I still don’t get it. What’s so manly about any of this turning?”

Ah, there it is again.

Rook does not intervene, continuing to observe, even though he can see Yuhua’s eyes briefly twitch into narrowing and his lips press into a strained smile. Any dancer would start to lose it after yet another generalization of their field, especially an ignorantly derogatory one. After multiple generalizations, in fact.

Like any trained performer, however, he smooths it down. That self-control is beautiful in its own right, no matter how strained.

“Manly, huh…?”

Epel yelps as Yuhua, deceptively calm, grabs his arm to adjust it.

“Your elbows are too stiff. Don’t interrupt the line; make them look round and effortless.” A tap to Epel’s back. “Don’t lean forward when you plié, you’re not about to break into a sprint; if your pelvis isn’t under you, then you’ll be off-balance when you turn.” And then, a nudge to the underside of Epel’s chin. “Don’t look at the ground. Look at yourself in the mirror. Keep your chin level so you can spot properly.”

The foundational advice is given almost clinically, automatically. Rook watches with keen interest as Yuhua withholds the same kind of scathing strictness Vil would have easily dished out, even though this must be the second or third time he’s had to say these things to Epel. 

“Deuce,” Yuhua asks levelly, “did you hear everything I just said?” To the trained ear, it sounds like a test, an I am on my last straw so there is only one correct answer here.

Thankfully, one of his students is more eager to learn than the other. “Yes!” is the earnest reply from the two of spades, who is already adjusting his posture after listening with the utmost dedication.

“Thank you.” Yuhua turns back to Epel. “We don’t have a lot of time. Just focus on improving for the SDC, okay?”

Epel bristles at being treated like a child, but nods. 

A smile spreads across Rook’s face. Ahh, the liveliness of a dancer and his mentees at work…

“Rook.” Vil’s voice snaps him out of his momentary reverie. “Let’s continue practicing.”

Right. Duty calls.

 “Of course~”

—

VI.

By now, Floyd had noticed, most people were learning to steer clear of starting shit with Yu. On top of him making more friends, on top of the (true) rumors that he’d Overblotted, most people had probably just accepted his presence.

(It also probably helped that Floyd regularly finds great joy in standing behind Yu and scaring off anyone who tried to be a problem.)

But, even then… 

Some people don’t take the hint.

Floyd doesn’t know how or why it started, only that when he walks into the courtyard of the main school building, there’s someone yelling at Yu like it’s his Seven-given right. It’s so loud, like a dog’s yapping. So annoying.

Bark, bark, bark. Floyd doesn’t listen to the full thing because it’s not worth his time, but it feels like it goes on for forever. To the point where people are gathering like it’s some kind of show, heads turning.

What a serious mood killer. Maybe Floyd should get involved, start a fight. Let everyone have a piece of this idiot. It doesn’t look like Yu will: he’s just standing there, silent, suffering quietly like he usually would.

“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?” taunts the nasally little offender. Of course, he’s the worst breed of coward—only able to say these things once Yu is on his lonesome. “No one’s here to defend you now, huh? Aren’t you gonna say something?”

Silence.

“Well?”

“Haaah…” Yu closes his eyes. “I’m seriously sick of your shit.”

“Huh—”

That’s the only thing the yapper can get out before Yu grabs him by the face. His fingers dig into the person’s cheeks, the palm of his hand conveniently muffling any complaints. If looks could kill, he’d be a murderer. 

“Didn’t you hear me the first time? I said I’m sick and tired of your bullshit!” Yu shouts. He angrily tightens his grip. “Listen, buddy, I don’t know who the hell you think you are—I don’t know who half the people at this school think they are—but someone needs to humble you, desperately. Have you heard yourself?” 

His voice reaches a high, mocking pitch: “Ohhh, no! There’s a magicless person at my school, but I think I deserve to be hot shit because I can make a few pathetic sparks with my magic! I’m gonna pick on him to assert my nonexistent dominance because I think he looks like a weak doormat!

“Yeah, well, womp fuckin’ womp. Being chosen by the Dark Mirror doesn’t mean anything. You’re just a copy-and-paste of every other small fry I’ve met at this school. Ego in the clouds, even though your performance is so bad that you reek of failed contracts and the threat of being held back. Am I right?” Yu scoffs without waiting for an answer. “Grow the fuck up already. Aren’t you embarrassed? Don’t you have any respect for anyone?” 

He lets go with a shove, pushing the previously-confident person to the ground. Yu’s heel finds a nice spot to rest on the student’s chest and send a message.

“Do us all a favor and actually have the bite to back up your bark next time. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

And even after yelling like that, Yu walks away like it’s nothing.

Oh, Sea Witch. Floyd feels ready and raring to kick ass again. 

That was great.

—

(bonus:

Riddle has no idea how he ended up in this situation, but here he is. Having ended up next to Floyd, watching Yuhua curse a student out.

For good reason, of course. But Riddle didn’t even know that the TA had that in him.

“...Well.” Riddle turns to leave—that’s enough of enjoying the ‘show’ for today. He makes to weave his way out of the crowd that’s gathered, but something makes him pause. He looks up.

There’s a dumb, dopey, lovestruck look on Floyd’s face. That’s the only way Riddle can think to describe his smile, mismatched eyes following after the exiting Yuhua.

…what can he even say in this situation? Riddle stifles an embarrassed grimace and walks away.)

[ravencoloredroses]

All That Matters

Nyx x Reader (Eris’ daughter)

Summary: Nyx and Eris’ daughter have known each other their whole lives. With a new alliance forming between the Autumn Court and the Night Court, their hatred towards each other will be challenged as they are forced to grow closer.

Word Count: 6,445

Warning: Swearing

A/N: request by anonymous: “Nyx and Eris' daughter!!!! Idk why but the idea of it is just so exciting for me. Since there dads are friendly (kinda) high lords they've known and seen each other around alot but are enemies to lovers” I love these characters so much! I might make another story with them… something like romeo and juliet maybe??

——————————————————————————

The last time my father wanted to see me in his office was when I was being sent away to boarding school. I’m not as naive as I was back then, but I know that whatever he has to tell me, I will have little to no say in. That's how it’s always been and always will be.

Being the only daughter to the High Lord of the Autumn Court, I’m widely considered a spoiled brat who gets everything she asks for, which isn’t necessarily false. But people don’t realize, or don’t even want to realize, that every decision is made for me. What I wear, what I eat, how I talk, how much I talk, what events I go to and who I’m allowed to be seen with.

My older brother is the heir, the golden child, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without anyone questioning anything. It pisses me off and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

I take a few deep breaths to try and calm my nerves, emphasis on try, then push open the office door. My father has an unreadable expression on his face as he tells me to take a seat.

“Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?”

He’s stalling

“Good morning father, it was alright.”

I take note of his stiff posture, the stacks of documents on his desk and the mountain of crumpled pieces of paper in the garbage can. This can’t be good.

“As you know, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of our people here in Autumn and sometimes that responsibility falls onto you. Alliances are an important part in ensuring our people are safe, especially in times of war.

“I’ve spoken with my advisers on this matter, but the final decision is mine to make and I’ve decided an alliance with the Night Court is in our best interest.”

I’m not quite sure what any of this has to do with me and my confusion must show on my face because my father elaborates.

“Rhysand, Feyre and I have come to an agreement that you will marry their son Nyx, before the week is out.”

“W-what? Father, you can’t be serious.” This has to be a joke, there is no way he’s actually suggesting I marry that Night Court piece of shit.

Nyx is slightly older than I am, meaning we’ve seen each other at almost every event for our entire lives. He’s never been nice to me, not once. Even when we were really little he was a bully, the type of kid to ‘fall’ off the swing set and then go crying to mommy blaming you for it.

As an adult he’s not any better, walking around like he’s better than everyone and has girls practically falling at his feet when he just looks at them. I don’t blame them though, when you look in his eyes it’s like you’re deep diving in the ocean and will never run out of air. I’ve never seen anything like it and if he ever looked at me the way he does some of them, I don’t even know what I would do.

But he only looks at me with eyes of disgust and hatred, which is fine by me, the feeling is mutual. He might be the most attractive male I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the worst people I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. And now I’m marrying him.

“I know it’s out of the blue and a little rushed, but this has to be done, it’s already been decided.”

Right. It’s not like I’m gonna be spending the rest of my immortal life with him, so why does it matter what I think?

“Nyx is okay with this?” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You will be moving to the Night Court with him and when Rhysand and Feyre pass on, you will be expected to rule alongside Nyx and produce an heir.”

There’s nothing I can say or do that will make any of this better, so I just put my head down and shut up. I can, and will, cry my eyes out later.

“Yes, father.”

“Perfect. Now, go and enjoy your day, the weather looks lovely.”

This day is going to be anything but enjoyable. As I make my way back up to my room I pass a couple members of our staff, they must be able to tell that I wish to be left alone because they don’t even make eye contact with me. I’m appreciative of that, I don’t think I could handle sympathy looks right now.

Closing and locking my door behind me, I collapse on the ground and let my tears fall, holding my hand over my mouth to control the noise. I sit like this for hours, at least it feels like hours, and when my tears have finally dried up, I head over to my bathroom. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror, turn the faucet on and start to undress.

Normally, a bath with my favorite soaps will soothe me, but this time it does absolutely nothing. I wait for my fingertips to prune to get out of the tub, then change into my nightgown and head to bed; I just need this day to be over.

“You look lovely, dear.” My stylist asks me to twirl so they can view my whole look. I have to admit, I do look lovely, but none of that matters right now, today is the day where I lose whatever remains of my freedom.

“Can I have a minute with my sister?” My brother slips into the room and I give a small nod to my staff.

“Did you know?” I’ve been curious about this since my father told me, he always talks to my brother first.

“I did.” He looks down, ashamed. “Nyx is a good male, he won’t harm you.”

“You can’t possibly promise me that.” He closes the distance between us and grabs my hand.

“You are my favorite sister, if he even pulls a hair out from your head I will knock a few of his teeth out.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m your only sister and you won’t even be living with me anymore, how will you know if he harms me?”

He cracks a smile and releases my hands. “I have my ways dear sis, I have my ways. If you need to, look at me in the audience, I’ll be in the front row.” He winks and walks back out the door, which is soon opened again by a staff member.

“It’s time, my lady.”

I’m handed a bouquet and suddenly I’m walking towards the altar on a flowered path. I round the corner and I feel about 1,000 pairs of eyes on me so I look down and focus on not falling. I make the mistake of looking up and see Nyx standing there waiting for me. His eyes run over my body and I swear there was a smile on his face, but it’s quickly replaced with a blank stare when we make eye contact.

He extends a hand to help me up the small staircase while a member of my ‘bridal party’ takes my bouquet and fixes my dress. I’m mad at myself for the way my heart beats faster because I know it’s just an act for him to appear like a gentleman. I stare down at our joined hands and zone out for a while until I hear Nyx���s deep voice say “I do.” My eyes jump up to meet his and I realize everyone is waiting for me.

“I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Fuck. I forgot about this part. Nyx pulls me close and presses his lips to mine. I try not to think about how soft they are or how long this is lasting, but it’s pretty damn hard to do that as his hand moves to the back of my neck and presses me closer.

Is this all for show too?

When he finally pulls away and faces us towards the audience, my eyes search out my brother. He’s watching me with somewhat of a proud expression. I notice Nyx’s family -my new family- looking at us with watchful eyes, that’s not surprising based on the little knowledge I have of these people. I’m surprised Rhysand agreed to this if I’m being honest. The Autumn and Night Courts have never gotten along, but once my grandfather died of ‘natural causes’, Rhysand and my dad became friendly with each other.

Nyx walks me back down the aisle without dropping my hand and then we head off to my new home, the Night Court.

It takes longer than I thought it would to get there, but it might have just been because it was dead silent the whole time. I thought that we would be living in the same house as the rest of Nyx’s family, but apparently we have our own place. Maybe it will be better this way, maybe this will give Nyx and I time to get along.

On the outside it looks like just a small cottage nestled into the mountains, but the inside is incredibly spacious and already filled with everything we will need. Newly renovated kitchen and bathroom, a cozy living room, an office and a bedroom with a walk-in closet and an attached bathroom. A bedroom. Singular.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” He announces while walking past me into the bathroom. Well, that settles that I guess. I change out of my uncomfortable dress and into a large sweater and leggings, then begin to unpack my things. When Nyx re-emerges from the bathroom he has changed as well, trading his tuxedo for a simple cotton t-shirt and sweatpants. I meet him in the hallway and start to ask about what’s next, but he doesn’t let me.

“I don’t care what you do, so long as it doesn’t involve me. I will be gone all day and only return for sleep to appease my parents. Do whatever you want.” He walks out the front door and flys away. Isn’t your wedding supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

I noticed multiple bookshelves when we first arrived, but I didn’t get the chance to see what books were on it. I find one that looks good and sit down on the couch to begin reading.

I didn’t notice the sky getting dark, but as I finish my book my stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten since this morning. I go into the kitchen and find a can of chicken noodle soup in one of the cupboards. I grab a pot and start to warm it up. Once it’s at a good temperature, I grab a bowl to pour it in and sit down at the table to eat.

Just as I get up to wash my bowl, Nyx marches through the door. He walks right past me into the bathroom without even a glance. When he comes back out, he plops down on the couch. I sigh and start to get ready for bed. Is this what the rest of my life is gonna be like?

Three days. The same routine for three more days. It’s been almost a full week since our wedding and he’s completely avoiding me.

It’s around dusk when a loud knock sounds at my front door. I mark my place in my book and open the door to find my brother standing there.

“Hey! What are you-“

“Where is he?” He pushes right past me into the house.

“Nyx? He’s. He’s um.”

“You don’t know, do you?” He spins around to face me and I shake my head in embarrassment. “How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“Three days.”

“That fucking asshole. Who does he think he is? The fucking king?” He starts to pace around the room and keeps spitting out insults about Nyx.

“Why are you here, brother?” I ask to stop him.

“I told you I’d be checking up on you, I’ve been seeing you doing the same thing everyday. That male has no right to keep you here locked up while he goes out doing mother knows what!”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but why do I feel this urge of protectiveness towards Nyx? He’s probably just busy, right? He’s the heir so he has a bunch of important things to be doing. But all day?

“Don’t worry, I’ll go find him and put an end to this.” He doesn’t give me a chance to reply before he’s storming out the door and slamming it behind him.

It’s not until I’m about to go to bed that I hear the front door open. I sit on the bed and listen for footsteps. They stop outside the bedroom door, I hear a sigh and then a light knock.

“Come in.” I call out, Nyx slowly pushes the door open and steps inside. He looks like he just got punched in the face. His left cheek is already starting to bruise and his eyes are red and puffy. Has he been crying?

“Nyx! What happened?” I go to get up but he puts his hand out signially me to stay sitting.

“I’ll be okay, but-“ He takes a deep breath. “We need to talk.” No good conversation ever starts with that phrase.

“Oh- okay. About what?”

“I want to apologize.” He says as he sits down on the bed next to me. I was not expecting that. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It’s not fair to you and it was wrong for me to treat you that way. I know you have no obligation to accept my apology, but I’d at least like to have the opportunity to start over. If that’s okay with you.” He takes a deep breath and looks up at me.

“Did I do something to make you hate me?”

“No!” He rakes his hand through his hair and sighs. “When we were kids, I was intimidated by you. You had everything I’ve ever wanted, independence, confidence and I hated you for that.” He looks up at me. “I treated you like shit to make myself feel better. It was dumb and I was an idiot and I’m so sorry. I know that this relationship was forced on both of us, but if you would allow me to, I’d like to actually give it a try. I’ve um- I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and for the longest time I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t true. But it is true and I feel like I ruined any chance that we had and I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me anymor-“

“Nyx.” I cut him off and slowly move my hands to grab his, giving him enough time to pull away if he wanted to. He doesn’t. “I accept your apology. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the things you did hurt me.” I take a deep breath. “But it’s nothing that we can’t work past and I feel like starting over is a great idea.”

I give his hand a slight squeeze and then let go. “Would you like me to grab the first aid kit?” His face has only gotten worse since he came in. He gives me a small nod, I go into the bathroom and come back to hand him the box.

“Thank you.” He whispers and I know he’s not just talking about the kit.

“You’re welcome.”

It’s around time for dinner when I finish putting all my stuff away. I haven’t seen Nyx since we've talked, but I think he’s in the office, so I gently knock on the door and wait for an answer. I hear soft footsteps approach and he slowly opens the door. “I was just wondering if you wanted to eat dinner… with me… soon?”

Nyx looks behind him at the clock on the wall and then steps out into the hallway with me. “Sure.”

I must have been staring at the kitchen for a while because Nyx moves into my vision.

“You’ve never cooked before, have you?”

I shake my head and look down at my hands. “No.” I only know how to heat things up. I’ve never cooked anything so I can already tell this is gonna be embarrassing.

“I can teach you. If you want.” I look up at him, shocked. “My mom, she taught me. It’s not as hard as it seems.” He walks over to one of the cabinets and pulls out a pot. “How do you feel about spaghetti?”

“I think that sounds great.” He gives me a small smile, places the pot on the stove and walks back over to me.

“Okay. Step one, you're going to have to pull your hair up.”I subconsciously reach back to touch my hair.

“Right. I- um. I don’t have a hair tie…” He gets up and walks into the bedroom, then comes back with a scrunchie in hand. I expect him to just hand it to me, but he twirls his finger asking me to turn around. His fingers graze the back of my neck as he picks up my hair and I hold in my shiver. He separates it into three sections and begins braiding. It doesn’t take long before he’s securing the end with the scrunchie and then steps back to view his work.

“T-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He coughs then steps around me and heads to the stove.

“Step two, boil water.” He picks up the pot, goes to the sink and turns on the faucet. When it’s full he carefully carries it over to the stove and turns on the burner. We stare at it for a while in awkward silence until I hear bubbles popping, which I assume means it’s boiling.

“Step three, noodles.” I remember seeing the box of spaghetti in the pantry when we first arrived, so I go grab it and hand it over to him. He grabs a handful and drops them in the water. “Now we wait.” He says as he puts the box back and grabs a jar of sauce.

It was actually really interesting to see how the noodles slowly fall into the water as they soften up. “How do we know when they are done?”

He looks over at me with a smile on his face and grabs a wooden spoon. “Like this.” He picks up a noodle and throws it at the wall. It falls straight to the ground. “Ah. Needs a couple more minutes.”

“Um… What did you just do?”

“If it sticks, it’s done.”

“Oooooh.”

He laughs. “What did you think I was doing?”

“I honestly have no fucking clue.” Now we’re both laughing and it feels amazing. “Can I try the next one?”

He nods and hands me the spoon. “Go for it.”

I fish around for one in the pot, then fling it onto the wall. It sticks.

“It worked!” I place the spoon back on the counter and turn to face Nyx.

“You didn’t believe me?” He asks, jokingly and grabs a strainer from the drawer behind me. “Can you turn the burner off?” While I do, he dumps out the water leaving just the spaghetti in the strainer. “Okay. Step four, sauce.”

I try to be helpful and open the jar, but I guess I’m not strong enough so Nyx comes over to help me.

“Here, let me.” He opens it on the first try, then pours it over the noodles. “Now we eat.”

I grab two bowls from the cabinet as we head over to the table to eat.

“Thank you for teaching me. I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook.”

“You’re welcome. Spaghetti is pretty easy, next time we can try something a little more difficult if you’d like.” I smile as we continue to eat in comfortable silence. When we’ve finished Nyx offers to do the dishes while I clean up the table. After we’re done we get ready for bed and I come into the bedroom, finding Nyx staring at the bed.

“You don’t have to, anymore.” He looks at me confused. “Sleep on the couch, I mean. The bed is pretty big, so we can share it.” He gives me a small nod and heads into the bathroom.

I’ve already changed into my nightgown by the time he comes back. “Um, because of my wings I have to sleep on my stomach. I hope that’s alright.” I look over to find that he’s shirtless, just wearing loose sweatpants that are basically falling off. My eyes trail over his defined abs and the v-line that leads down to his-. My eyes jump back up and I see that he’s smirking at me. I turn my head away and clear my throat.

“Ye-Yeah that’s fine.” I never thought about how Illyrians sleep, but it makes sense that they can’t sleep on their backs. He pulls back the covers to get in and I follow shortly after.

His wings are tucked in and it looks super uncomfortable. “You can let your wings rest. I won’t mind.” He looks up at me surprised, I give him a small smile and a nod. I lay down on my back and he flares his wings out as we both drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I wake up to the light shining in through the window and a heavy weight on top of me. I slowly open my eyes to find a huge wing laying over my chest, then I notice that I’m pinned underneath the body that wing is attached to. We’re Cuddling. Even if I wanted to push Nyx off of me I couldn’t, but for some reason I don’t even bother to try. His face is nuzzled into my neck and he’s wrapped an arm around my waist. He smells so fucking good.

I lay there wide awake for who knows how long before he starts to stir. He wakes with a yawn and hugs me closer. He must realize what he’s doing because he quickly jumps up, scaring the shit out of me.

“Oh- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ His face is bright red.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He gives me a nod and heads into the bathroom. I get up to fix the covers on the bed while I wait for him to finish. He comes out with sopping wet hair and a towel thrown loosely around his hips. I hurry into the bathroom before I can do something I’ll absolutely regret later.

I splash cold water on my face about twelve times before I actually begin getting ready.

When I come back out, Nyx is sitting on the bed holding a note. “What’s that?”

“It’s from my mom, she wants us to join them for dinner tonight.” He looks up at me and hands over the letter.

My dearest Nyx and Y/N,

I hope this isn’t too late of notice, but we would really love to see you both at our family dinner tonight. The table isn’t complete without you.

~F.

I sit down and give him the letter back. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can come up with an excuse, it's no big deal.”

“We can go.”

“Something like we have obligations elsewher- wait what did you say?”

I turn my body slightly to face him and lightly chuckle. “I said, we can go. It will be nice to meet your family.” I think. Actually wait on second thought... No, it’s gonna have to happen eventually, might as well get it over with.

“Okay, yeah. We can go. Um, I just feel like I should warn you.” Uh-oh. “My family is different from most, it can be overwhelming. Everyone has very watchful eyes, they will be tracking your every move, especially my uncle Azriel. He has… history with your father and will probably not like you at first. The same thing goes for my aunt Mor, so please don’t be offended if they don’t open up to you right away, it’s nothing personal.”

Nothing personal. I’ve heard stories of the hatred between the Autumn and Night courts, but I normally just have to deal with rude stares or nasty side comments. I’ve never eaten dinner with people who hate me.

He grabs my hand and looks over at me. “If you ever want to leave, just tell me and we'll go. No questions asked.” I nod and slightly smile. I wasn’t nervous before, but now I’m second guessing saying yes. “I promise nothing bad will happen.”

You can’t possibly promise me that.

“I have nothing to wear.” I say standing up.

“That box is addressed to you, from my mom.” He points to a box sitting on the floor that I never noticed. I place it on the bed, undo the ribbon and open the lid. Inside is the most stunning dress I’ve ever seen. Dark, navy blue suede with ¾ length sleeves. Night Court colors. Beneath a layer of tissue paper are matching heels, that thankfully aren’t too high.

Nyx leans over on the bed to peer into the box. “Oh I have something that matches that perfectly!” He runs over to the closet and returns with a suit the exact same shade.

“It’s perfect.” I look up to find him already staring at me.

“Let’s get ready, shall we?”

I brush out my curls to loosen them up a bit and move over to look in the mirror. The dress fits me perfectly, it accentuates my curves but still looks elegant. Unfortunately, even looking as good as I do does absolutely nothing to help my nerves. My hands are slightly shaking and I doubt there is anything I can do to stop it.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Nyx softly knocks on the door, his way of letting me know that I’m taking too long. One glance at the clock behind me says he’s right, we have to leave soon.

I turn around and head towards the door, Nyx has already opened it and is staring at me with an expression I can’t quite determine.

“You- You look beautiful.” His eyes roam over my figure in a way that seems far too intimate, but I love it anyway.

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” I feel my cheeks getting hot, but that’s the least of my worries at the moment. I reach out to take his hand, but hesitate when I see that mine are still shaking. “Are you ready?” I just need to get this over with.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He extends his arm out for me to take and then winnows us off to his parents house.

“Remember, you want to leave and we leave. No questions asked.” Nyx assures me as we walk up the pathway. I give his arm a squeeze as my response because I’m saving all my energy for what’s to come.

He doesn’t knock on the door, just walks right in and the chatter that I heard from on the porch abruptly stops. Silence. Just the sound of my heels clicking on the tile.

Two dark figures round the corner, one shorter than the other but both exude power. I already know who they are before they come into the light.

“Mom, Dad, thank you for inviting us over.” Nyx lets go of my arm to give his parents a hug while I stand by myself awkwardly.

Rhysand breaks away first to greet me. “Y/N, welcome to our home. We’re so glad you could make it.” He gives my hand a slight shake and then escorts me towards what I presume to be the dining room. I’m greeted with seven unhappy faces, each one more angry than the first.

Four females, one who is doing her best to not meet my eyes, one who looks ready to chop my head off, one who looks like she has better places to be and the last one seems to be as terrified as I am. There are two winged males at the table as well, one with long hair who has a watchful gaze and the other who seems to be assessing all the ways he can kill me while these black things float around him. I already hate it here.

“Y/N, these are the members of our family. Mor, Nesta, Amren, Elain, Cassian and Azriel.” Feyre says behind me as I give a smile and take my seat between Nyx and Cassian with Azriel across from me.

“Alright. Now that we’re all here, let’s eat shall we?” Rhysand gives a small gesture towards the table and all the plates are filled with food. I don’t even bother to see what it is, I just need my hands to be doing something before I go crazy, so I begin to eat right away. Everyone else follows suit and it takes about 5 minutes before Feyre breaks the deafening silence. “Have you been enjoying the Night Court since your arrival?”

“I haven’t seen much of it, but what I have seen is beautiful.” I take a small sip of water.

“Oh that’s a pity! Nyx, why haven’t you taken Y/N out to see more?”

“We really haven’t had the time, Mom. We will soon though.” And the game of silence begins again. This time it’s broken by Nesta slamming down her silverware.

“So, Y/N. How is your father doing?”

“Nesta.” Rhysand warns.

“No, I want to know. Because he puts everyone through so much shit just so he can keep living the high life. So tell me, how is ‘Daddy Dearest’?”

I choke on my water slightly while I’m desperately trying to come up with an answer. “I’m not quite sure what you are referring to. My father is well respected in my Court.”

She scoffs. “He is, is he? You don’t even know what happened, do you? What he did to Mor?” Everyone is staring at me now and I have no idea how to respond. I’ve heard that my father and Mor were in a relationship when they were very young, but nothing more. I glance over at Nyx to try and catch his eye, but he’s looking down at his plate.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been told much of my father’s past.”

I feel a brush of something swimming up my leg, my side, then wrapping around my throat and I suddenly can’t breathe. Azriel stares at me with so much hatred in his eyes, I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner.

“All you Vanserra’s ever do is lie. You know exactly what your father did. Your father hurt Mor, left her for dead, you and your brother are the exact same as him, evil. Why did Nyx have a black eye the other day? Did you honestly think we wouldn’t find out?” Nesta stands up from her seat.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as my hands grab at my throat, desperate for air. My vision starts to get blurry and then Azriel releases his shadows. I gasp for air and quickly stand up. “Can you excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” I run off crying.

Splashing cold water on my face does absolutely nothing for me. I slowly sink to the floor to sob and sob and sob. No one comes to check on me. No one believes me. Not even Nyx. Why hasn’t he said anything? Done anything? He knows that I wasn’t the one who hurt him, yet he stays silent.

Gods. I feel like the world's biggest idiot. I thought Nyx and I were getting along. He promised nothing bad would happen. I should have known better.

I notice a rather large window that I can easily fit through. So that’s exactly what I do, and then I’m running. I have no idea where I am, but I know where I need to go. Home.

I’m passing through some sort of market and nearly run into someone. I take a second to catch my breath. “Excuse me, sir. Could you please tell me how to get to the Autumn Court?”

The male points me in the direction I need and then I’m off again.

“Y/N!” I stop. I’ve been running through this forest alone for over 3 hours, who is calling out for me? “Y/N! It’s me!”

My brother. He runs right up to me and pulls me in for a hug. “What the fuck are you doing?!!” And that’s all it takes for me to break down again.

“I can’t do it anymore! I don’t care what alliance this marriage brings to father. I can’t be married to him, I just can't!”

“Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath.” He rubs a comforting hand up my back. “I’ll take you back home, okay?” I feel a slight gust of wind and look up to see that I’m in the home I share with Nyx.

“No! Why did you bring me back here? I can’t stay here! I need to go home, back to Autumn!” I start to panic.

“You can’t go back to Autumn. Father will find out and everything will only get worse.” He lightly pushes me down so I sit on the couch and then brings me a glass of water. “I need you to stay here. I will be back to check on you, but you must stay here.”

“I will, thank you.” I’m too tired to argue. Now I’m alone, again. I know Nyx will come home eventually, but I can’t even think about that right now, I just need to go to sleep. I triple check that the doors are locked, then grab every knife from the kitchen and barricade myself in the bedroom.

I wake up to the sound of pounding on the bedroom door. “Y/N! Y/N I know that you’re in there. Please, just come out and talk to me.”

“Go away!” The banging stops and then he’s standing in front of me. “What the fuck? You can’t just winnow in here?” He kneels down on the floor as I sit up.

“Please. I just need to talk with you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. You left me there! You left me there while he was choking me! I trusted you! What happened to ‘we leave whenever I wanted’? What about your promise that nothing bad would happen? Was that a lie too?” I take a deep breath and continue.

“Was everything a lie? Everything you said? How you were sorry, that you wanted to start over and your feelings for me? Everything was a lie!”

“What? No! No, I didn't lie about any of that!”

“Then why didn’t you help me? You sat there and watched me get choked and then never bothered to check on me.”

“I wanted to! But they wouldn’t let me. The minute you left, uncle Az pinned me to the chair with his shadows. I couldn’t get to you.”

Is he lying to me right now? “From the second we walked into that house, you acted like I didn’t exist! Why?”

“Because I was scared.”

“Scared? What could you possibly be scared of?”

“I was scared that my family would find out.”

“FIND OUT WHAT?!?” If he doesn’t get to the fucking point-

“THAT I LOVE YOU!”

“You- you what?”

“I love you. I have for a while, but I thought that you hated me. I figured the only way to be with you was to have an arrangement made, so I asked my dad to-“

He looks at me with wide eyes, he's said too much.

“You asked your dad to do what?” I ask slowly, scared for his answer. He takes in a deep sigh.

“I asked him to ask your dad about arranging a marriage between us. He’s the only one who knows, not even your father. I- I’m sorry. I should have told you.” I take a step back, this can’t be happening. “Y/N, please. Let me explain.”

“No.”

“Please. I understand that I-“

“Nyx. I don’t want you to explain. Just give me an answer to my question. Just one.”

“Anything, I’ll tell you anything.” He’s begging now.

“Do you love me?”

“W-what?”

“Do you love me? Truly love me?”

“Yes! Yes, I love you!” He stands up and faces me. I can’t explain it, but I believe him. Maybe all that running I just did is messing with my head. Him asking his father to arrange our marriage is fucked up and I hate him for it, but I love him too.

“Then kiss me.”

He hesitates for a second and then slowly moves closer to me, giving me enough time to change my mind. Then finally, he places a hand under my chin, closes the distance and he softly places his lips on mine.

His lips are so soft, so gentle, like he’s afraid I’m going to break. My hands find their way to his hair as the kiss deepens. I trail my tongue across his bottom lip causing him to moan and move his hands to my hips.

We break for air and just stare at each other. Our foreheads pressed together, breath mixing between us, eyes searching the others. “I love you, too.” I realize I never said it out loud and based on his reaction, he wasn’t expecting me to. “I don’t want to start over. I just want to keep moving forward.”

“That sounds perfect.” He caresses my cheek with his thumb and gives my forehead a kiss. “Would you like to go to bed?” I nod as my response and he lets me go to pull back the covers. I get in first while he gets undressed.

There is so much we still have to work out. So many difficult conversations we have to have. But as I lay here with my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat, I can’t help but smile. I’m looking forward to those conversations. Looking forward to finding out as much as I can about Nyx. Regardless of what his family thinks of me or what mine thinks of him. We’re going to be happy, and to me, that’s all that matters.

[treacherousglaive]

@shieldofcaelum

cont from here.

—❝I am, well was I guess. I’m sure there are more out, there has to be....❞

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwyncien part 2

Do not fret there is also a bit of gwynriel in this too. I’ll be tagging people who asked for this specific part 2 below.

Lucien hated coming to the night courts winter solstice celebrations. The sole reason he went every year was because of Feyre's birthday, contrary to popular belief that it was to see his mate. He much preferred to avoid his mate instead of sit in a room with her and the Shadowsinger. But he suffered through it for his friend, potentially his only true friend. She had been better to Lucien than he ever had to her, so in a way he was trying to earn her forgiveness- even if she claimed to have already given it. He secretly hoped to see Gwyneth Berdara again this year. She was beautiful- much like he remembered her mother looking. However, he truly just liked talking to her, to someone who understood the pain of a disinterested mate. It was a nice perk that it also seemed to enrage the one male to have caught his own mate's attention. He felt a bit smug about that if he was honest with himself. His three gifts were tucked neatly at his side as he stared up at the mansion. Feyre created a beautiful house. He should not have expected anything less given her paintings. He needed a moment to gather his bearings after winnowing directly to the river house. He would stay for an acceptable amount of time, or at least enough time to make Feyre happy, and then he would depart. It always made his skin crawl to be around Elain, simply because he knew it displeased her. He could do this though-for Feyre.

"Are you going in? Or do you plan to stare at the door a little longer?" A giggle escaped from the female behind him. He turned quickly only to let out a breathy chuckle himself.

"Did you want a turn staring at it? We could do it together. Might make the evening more bearable somehow." Lucien sent the copper haired female a half grin which she returned with one of her own.

"You caught me. I was hoping to have my turn to avoid going in as long as possible, but alas it appears I may need to share." Gwyn gave a long sigh as if she were exasperated by the situation. The easy banter between the two started to loosen the knot that had formed in Lucien's chest.

"It's lovely to see you once more, priestess. You look beautiful." And she did. The last time he had seen her, she was wearing her priestess robes. This time around she wore a loose black dress. Her hair was mostly down with some braids keeping it out of her face and a dainty necklace around her neck. Some might say she looked rather plain. Lucien knew better than that. For her, this was a big step. To be dressed at a celebration in anything other than her robes had to be stressful. A magnificent smile lit up her face.

"You look rather handsome yourself. I was actually hoping to see you tonight. I wanted to discuss a few things." She looked around as though someone might be eavesdropping. "Not right now though." He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to discuss.

"My ears are yours whenever you need them." Lucien then offered his arm to her. She slipped her hand through the crook as they made their way through the door. The night suddenly seemed less daunting. He could face Elain and Azriel tonight without his emotions getting the better of him. Gwyneth would keep him busy that much he knew and was thankful for the unspoken deal they seemed to have made. They would stay by each other's side tonight if only because most of the night court's inner circle had paired off. Rhysand never truly left Feyre's side, Varian is the only one to actually enjoy Amren's company, Cassian and Nesta disappeared to have sex rather frequently, Emerie and Mor spoke in hushed whispers to each other most evenings Lucien attended, and most unfortunately Azriel and Elain never really left each other's side these days. Lucien normally felt like the odd one out, but without Gwyneth it would have been painfully obvious.

+++

The night had been rather overwhelming for Gwyn. She had been around the inner circle a handful of times most recently, but having so many dynamics in one living room felt stifling to her. Nesta's relationship with her sister's was still rocky at best, Amren usually said something to piss someone off, Azriel and Elain being around appeared to make everyone uncomfortable, and apparently Gwyn and Lucien being friends seemed to make the group just as uncomfortable. Gwyn could not figure out why. If perhaps the irony of the situation was too great or if Lucien's background had something to do with it. Whatever the reason, almost everyone tonight side-eyed Gwyn as she sat with Lucien. She knew Elain and Azriel thought she was doing it just to piss them off. Gwyn just truly enjoyed Lucien's company. He was easy-going and made many jokes. When Gwyn was not engrossed in conversation with Nesta or Emerie, she was joking with the one-eyed male. If only he had been her mate she had thought to herself.

"Present time!" Mor exclaimed from her spot on the couch next to Emerie. Gwyn felt herself becoming red- she had not realized that gifts were exchanged here. She had already exchanged gifts with Nesta and Emerie (a song for Nesta that was recorded on her music box from Cassian and a particularly steamy book for Emerie that included two female leads). She felt overwhelmed as everyone started setting gifts beside her. While Gwyn felt ready to leave the House of Wind, she had not managed to venture the streets of Velaris. She could have asked the House for gifts for everyone, but truly she did not even think anyone would get her something. The most surprising to her was when Lucien plopped a gift on her lap. She could not hide her shock.

"I am sorry. I did not get you anything." She felt ashamed and refused to look up from her hands as she addressed everyone. "I did not realize you all exchanged gifts. I am sorry." She repeated.

"We did not expect you too." Feyre sent her a small smile. "We got you something because we wanted too, not because we wanted something from you." The tension eased the slightest bit. That did not stop the red from flaming her face.

"I expected a gift." Lucien announced loudly. It had Gwyn cringing. "I demand you play us a song." Lucien was sending her a grin that released the rest of the tension in her chest. Azriel shot the pair an icy stare, not necessarily a glare, but close enough.

"Yes!" Nesta shouted after him, clearly having one too many sips of wine. Gwyn could not hold back her giggle. "You have to sing for us. Your voice is beautiful."

Gwyn could feel Azriel's stare from across the room. It had shifted into a less hostile look. It did not appear as though he was trying to hide his interest though. A conversation between the two suddenly popped into her head.

Do you, though? Sing?

Yes.

She wished now more than ever to hear him sing. She wanted to sing with him, but was not willing to put herself out there in front of everyone. He would likely say no and then she would have to scrape any piece of humility she had left to sing alone after rejection. She would not ask Azriel to sing with her- this time. She hesitantly sat at the piano, Nyx sitting by her feet watching intently. As soon as she started playing the toddler laughed and clapped his hands. It gave her the confidence to keep going. She sang one of the many songs she had memorized. There was really nothing special about it, but she felt alive especially with the way Azriel was staring at her. She could almost feel his shadows slipping towards her. She missed them. Actually, she missed everything about Azriel. Before the whole mating bond/Elain situation, they had been friends. He was one of her closest friends and she felt as though she lost that. It was not only her fault. He also felt uncomfortable being her friend now. It made her sad so she decided not to think on it anymore. She finished her song which resulted in a round of applause from everyone.

"Beautiful!" Emerie cheered with a wide smile on her face. Gwyn looked to Lucien who was smiling ear to ear which was rare for the male who only seemed to give half grins and sarcastic smiles. She finally looked at Azriel, who unfortunately was not sporting a smile, instead a rather intense look took over his face. A shadow reached out to caress her hand. It was so quick she questioned whether it even happened. No one else seemed to register it. After that, everyone continued to open their presents. She received a painting from Feyre of Gwyn cutting the ribbon for the first time. It honestly had the female tearing up. Cassian got her new Illyrian leathers that fit her much better while Mor bought her a butterfly knife which was a much better improvement from her birthday where she gave Gwyn a shampoo that never lost its smell. While everyone was distracted opening gifts, Gwyn decided now would be the best time to talk with Lucien, who had gotten her earrings the same color as her eyes. She signaled the male to follow her to the kitchen. They were surprisingly given little attention as they made their departure.

"I was thinking about your invitation," she started off. She leaned against the counter top with her arms folded in front of her. "I was thinking I could leave with you, and if you are willing, you could help me gather some intel with the band of exiles." Lucien seemed to mull it over as he stood next to her, their shoulders almost touching. He leaned against the counter tops as well while running a hand over his jaw. Gwyn waited with bated breathe.

"When?" Was all he answered. She could not read how he was feeling about the situation which had her feeling even more nervous.

"Uh, tonight?" It sounded like a question even to her ears. She figured she would never fully know when she was ready to leave until she actually tried it. Worse comes to worse and Lucien could just winnow her back to Velaris. No harm done.

"Have you told anyone of this?" He asked quietly.

"No. They wouldn't understand.” They probably would understand, but they would most likely try to stop her. She did not want that.

"You have to tell someone." He glanced at her before turning his body to be completely facing her with one hand on the counter.

"Why?"

"So they don’t think I kidnapped you." She found it hard to believe that anyone other than Nesta and potentially Azriel would think Lucien kidnapped her. Best to not have them looking for her though.

“Oh right. I’ll leave a note for Nesta and Emerie to find after we have left.” She did not particularly want to leave her sisters, but she needed to finish what was started in Sangravah. She could not possibly travel a world where any of those Hybern soldiers still lived. A goodbye note might convince herself to stay, but having Lucien here made it less likely for her to cower.

“Okay. We shall leave tonight. Gather whatever you want to take and I will winnow us away after.” He already started to walk away.

"Thank yo-" she began to say when a shadow darted into the kitchen. She immediately stopped speaking. She should have known he would be listening in.

"Mind if I steal Gwyn for a moment?" Azriel cut in, looking quickly between the two with narrowed eyes as if he was suspicious of the pair.

"Sure." Lucien drawled with a roll of his eyes. “I will see you later, Gwyneth.” He gave her a meaningful look and then he was confidently strolling back into the living room.

"Hey." Gwyn finally started the conversation after a few uncomfortable minutes of Azriel just staring at her.

"Hey." An awkward silence ensued after that. It left Gwyn confused. She thought he came in here to discuss something specific. She took the time to truly analyze him. She always thought he was beautiful, classically attractive like Elain. It made them quite the couple. She wished he wasn’t so handsome, it made their situation much more difficult for her. Perhaps if he was less attractive she could ignore the mate bond, she thought wryly. He looked tired, per usual, dark circles were more pronounced under his eyes which looked sadder than normal. He was tense as if he was preparing for a fight which made no sense to her. They had never truly fought, physically or verbally. She was just about to ask him what was wrong when he finally spoke up.

"What were you two talking about?" The question had Gwyn smiling wryly. As if his shadows hadn’t told him.

"Nothing." She refused to tell him even if he already knew. For some reason she felt if she told him, he would be upset with her. Another awkward silence lapsed.

"So I figured I could give you your gift now." Azriel glanced down at the small package in his hand that Gwyn only just noticed. His shadows were swirling all around him, exposing his cool composure for what it really was.

"I didn't get you anything." She only felt slightly guilty considering he was in an open relationship with the third Archeron sister while also being mated to her. She kept her eyes firmly planted on her own hands which were clasped tightly together in front of her.

"I don't deserve anything from you anyways." She hated hearing that from him. Even if he was being a royal asshole, she truly believed he deserved the world. Azriel shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He ran a hand through his hair roughly before shoving the package towards her, stepping closer to her than he had been in awhile.

"Not true." She muttered as she delicately unwrapped the package. It was beautifully wrapped and part of her wanted to ask if he had Elain wrap it. Once opened, she spent a few minutes just staring at it. She was not quite sure how to respond to this.

"I know you said it does not bother you that your necklace was originally meant for Elain, but I wanted to give you one that was and will only be for you." There was a dozen or so stars in some sort of collection. She assumed it was a constellation but she did not know which one. It was beautiful she could admit, and knowing how much he enjoyed star gazing made her feel much closer to him than she should given his current relationship status. It felt almost inappropriate to accept, but she knew she could not deny him.

“What is it?”

“The constellation Andromeda.” He said so quietly it was almost a whisper. She was trying to remember if he had ever mentioned this one before but she honestly could not think of any reason why he might pick this specific constellation over another.

“Why this one?” She did not want to give him any reason to believe she cared as much as she did, however, curiosity was eating her alive.

“Her name means ruler of men.” Her heart squeezed. How unfair, she thought. He was allowed to give such a thoughtful gift, but she could not truly tell him how she felt about their current predicament.

"Thank you. It's beautiful." She wanted to say so much more, but was feeling tongue tied.

"Just like you." Was his immediate response. He said it almost like it was a reflex but it only upset her. Elain was in the next room over and he was sweet talking her.

"You cannot say that." She muttered a bit flustered.

"Sorry." He glanced down, appearing to notice how slim the space between them actually was. She felt suffocated by how close he was. The bond was yelling at her to touch him. His shadows seemed to want the same thing.

“Do not apologize. It just makes it harder for me when you say those things.” She realized this was the first time she had been alone with Azriel in a long time. She also realized she would not see him for a long time when she left with Lucien. It made her sad. These are the excuses she used to justify her next actions. She swears she never would have done this if she was not planning on leaving with Lucien tonight. Consequences be damned she thought. She quickly grabbed his face in her hands and brought her lips to his.

For the first time since the bond snapped into place, Gwyn felt tension ease from her shoulders. He was hesitant for only a second, letting out a groan and then they were off to the races. It’s as if they both knew this would be the last time they would get to do this. The kiss was rushed and heavy, passionate and wild. It was more than Gwyn could have ever dreamed. His hands were everywhere. Her hair, her face, her waist, and even lower. Gwyn let out a squeak when one of Azriel’s hands squeezed her backside. It did nothing to slow down the kiss, however. He was everywhere, even his shadows were caressing her. Her hands were not much better. They ran through his hair, tugging at the soft strands. Slowly, they traveled down- over his shoulders, finally resting on his waist to pull him even closer. There was much more tongue than Gwyn imagined. It surprised her even more at how much she liked it. How much further she would be willing to take it if they were alone. It was only when Azriel moved to work on her neck that she realized how much further their kiss went than the small peck she was expecting. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him stumbling back a few steps herself.

“I wanted to do that at least once. Sorry.” She felt the need to explain herself given that she practically just mauled him. His shadows were surprisingly calm for once, though his face was flushed bright red. It almost made her want to laugh at the idea that she made the Shadowsinger blush.

“Gwyn-“ he began but she did not want to hear anything he had to say, even if that was not quite fair.

“See you in training.” She tossed over her shoulder before fleeing quickly from the kitchen.

Fuck was the only thought pounding through her head.

[darklove9314-blog]

So a common thing I see in the fandom is how a lot of people tend to avoid holding the bat boys accountable for nearly anything. Part of the reason I think this is is mostly because of SJM herself. Instead of presenting the bat boys as these flawed character, she tries to convey them as the epitome of perfection where nowhere in the actual narrative is that the case. She also never tends to hold them accountable for the actions in her own story (Although she seems to have no problems doing that with her female characters.) Let me explain.

With Rhysand, his character has done so many terrible things and the fandom still feels the need to justify his actions. I feel if Rhys was held accountable for his actions he would be a better character overall, because in no way, shape, or form should the UTM stuff or the Nyx situation would ever fly in real life. It’s also quite concerning how it seems like SJM would just like us to forget what Rhys did all together. She never even has Feyre bring it up except in ACOMAF. Just because Feyre forgave him for what happened doesn’t mean he still didn’t do a shitty thing. And it doesn’t help when he’s done horrible things and judges other people who have objectively done lesser offenses than himself. And he also never apologized to Feyre for keeping the news about their child from her, or at least that was never addressed in the narrative, but SJM had no trouble placing Nesta under the line of fire for telling Feyre. Yes Nesta did a shitty thing but that doesn’t meant the rest of the IC didn’t also do a shifty thing, She shouldn’t have been the only one who had to apologize.

Next up Cassian, yes I know a lot of the fandom including myself love him, but he’s always been a flawed character. One reason why I always favored Nessian over Feysand was because they at least tried to hold each other accountable for things. And then ACOFAS/ACOSF happened. I was in the minority of people who sided with Nesta when it came to the argument between her and Cassian. Or rather I recognized both of them said hurtful things during this conversation. but the only one who apologized for the things said was Nesta herself. She held herself accountable and instead of Cassian owning up to the fact that he also said some pretty hurtful things and had put his own feelings above the fact that and at a was dealing with her own issues. All he says is that he already forgave her. Which would be fine in retrospect, but I also read ACOFAS, I understood how Cassian’s words were harmful because he was speaking out of anger (Which him and Nesta both have a habit of doing, but Nesta seems to be the one held most accountable. If Nesta‘s lashing out because she’s hurting, the fandom sees her as a bitch, but if Cassian is lashing out because he’s hurting then that makes it okay??? that’s a double standard of I ever heard one) And we can sit here and talk for hours about his behavior in ACOSF, but I digress, Cassian is not the perfect man. That was the reason why he was my favorite, but SJM trying to make it seem like he had no fault in the last two books really rubbed me the wrong way. (Hold your male characters just as accountable Sarah!!!)

and Lastly Azriel. I know Azriel is a fan favorite, and there are times where I genuinely like Azriel, but I see a lot of people hate Mor because she’s not being honest with Azriel. First off Mor should never have to feel like she has to come out to anyone. She has given Azriel clear signs that she’s not interested in him short of telling him to stay the hell away from her there’s not much else Mor could realistically do (and yes I also hold Mor accountable for her part in this whole Cassian/ Azriel situation. I hate how she uses Cassian as a buffer for centuries) but Azriel should have also taken the hint sooner. Despite his feelings of not wanting to be alone, he should have moved on centuries ago. The obsession with Mor is honestly not healthy in the slightest, And Rhys just letting them work it out themselves is obviously not helping either. Dude you know he’s making your cousin uncomfortable. You‘re allowed to do something about it if you’re the feminist you claim you are. Also I also see the fandom hate on Gwyn for having an interest in Azriel. If Elain and Azriel don’t end up together it won’t be Gwyn‘s fault. The necklace situation was entirely on him and him alone. I hate how people assume it will put Elain and Gwyn against each other when reasonably they should both be pissed at Azriel when they find out. because neither of them did anything wrong in that situatio. Also to circle back to the Mor thing he let her feelings for her known in the most inappropriate time. Like dude she’s just not into you and telling her when she’s just been assaulted is not the way to go.

So in conclusion of the fandom has no trouble holding the Archeron sisters or the other females of the series accountable then it should be no problem holding the bat boys accountable too. people are flawed and both parties in a certain argument can be in the wrong when it comes to certain characters. So hold your favs accountable too!!!

[heyovivi]

ACOTAR 6? (MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ACOSF)

Okay! I just finished A Court of Silver Flames and absolutely love Nesta’s journey and this is coming from a person who didn’t really like Nesta from the beginning. Her journey of healing and finding herself was beautiful and her journey with Cassian was heart-wrenching and sexy and I just loved it all! But anyways, more on that later, I have some predictions for the next book. 

So I usually don’t go into anything without spoiling myself so before I even picked up ACOSF from a bookshelf at Target (don’t worry I was able to read both bonus chapters; meaning Azriel’s and the Feyre and Rhys’ chapters) I knew a little about ACOSF already. Now, ACOSF wasn’t deeply plotted and there wasn’t any world building like there was when we read the first three book--although it didn’t really matter to me I still enjoyed the book. ACOSF was all about Nesta and her journey and an insight to her thoughts and why she is the way she is and although I felt that at some points I hated Nesta I could still understand her frustrations and I could understand that she was deeply flawed as a character--which is fine. 

Now, even if ACOSF didn’t have a huge plot there were some key elements that will probably be very important in the next book such as Koschei, the remaining Mortal Queens, the Band of Exiles, Azriel’s journey, and Elain’s journey. But one key thing I noticed was Eris. Now he didn’t appear that much in the book and if he did it was during moments where his presence was essential to the plot (such as being kidnapped by Queen Brialynn and Koschei), but in that last chapter he appeared in it seemed like there was more to the story, to his story specifically. I think that maybe we might be getting a book on Eris. 

A lot of people say that ACOSF is reminiscent of Tower of Dawn from the Throne of Glass series, where instead of following Aelin in her quest to free her kingdom and stop Maeve, we instead venture into a Chaol-centered book where we kind of try to understand his point of view and character growth. So maybe, and this is just a theory or prediction, maybe we’ll get a similar thing with Eris. 

From that one little conversation we get with Cassian and Eris, it appears that Eris is kind’ve jealous of the Night Court and it’s relationships with the other courts in Prythian. A lot of people have already pointed how much Eris could be a lot like Rhys in the manner that Eris wants the Autumn Court to be seen not as the fiery court of rage and misery, but instead wants to be a beacon for those who dwell there. And you do see some parallels between Rhys and Eris and their upbringing with their fathers being very strict figures in their lives but with Eris there was an emphasize of abuse somewhere along the line. 

Now I’m not saying that Eris is getting a book or that his book even next, but I think that we have not heard the full story of what happened between both him and Mor, and I really want to know the entire story of what had happened in Eris’ life to make him seem like such a conniving person. But if I’m being honest I would much rather read a book about Eris’ efforts to lift the Autumn Court than a book about Mor--just my preference you don’t have to agree with me. 

Now here are my runner ups for who could be the possible voice of ACOTAR 6. 

Azriel

Elain

No, not Azriel and Elain, but Azriel or Elain. Now there were a lot of people saying that the book is either about Elain and Azriel, or Azriel and Gwyn, or Elain and Lucien--and I’m not going to shut down anyone’s theories but I’m going to share my own. Again, if you feel peeved about what sides or ships I support then stop reading when you get pissed because I can live with the fact that not everyone is going to agree with my theories.

First off, Azriel. 

I’m going to be honest, from what I read on Tumblr mainly I thought Azriel’s role in ACOSF was going to be way bigger, but I still enjoyed his dry humor and presence when he was there. Though when it comes to Miss Sarah J Mass we have to pay attention to every little detail in her books and if you caught onto his distance from Mor during the Solstice party or his reluctance to hold baby Nyx because of his scarred hands then I think it’s pretty telling that the next book could be about Azriel and his journey with coming face to face with his trauma, his past, and maybe his unsteady relationship with the Illyrians; not to mention his five century one-sided love with Mor. 

If you know me, or looked at any of my content, you should know that I am a hardcore Gwynriel shipper. I love Gwyn and fell in love with the ship almost immediately so much so that I’m embarrassed that I entertained the idea of shipping Azriel with Emerie or Clotho. I think that she might play a pivotal role in his journey to healing and that he might also play a large role in hers as well. Through his bonus chapter we can kind of see the sparks of something starting between them, I’m guessing it’s tied to theories that they are mates or to the theory that Gwyn could be a possibly lightsinger. All I know for sure right now is that Gwyn’s story is definitely not over with and I except see more of her in the future along with the other Valkyries as well. 

Finally, Elain. 

Now I don’t think the next book is about Elain but I do feel that out of all of the other characters her story is in the making? I’ve been told numerous times that Elain will be getting a book of her own, but we don’t know when and we don’t know what it is going to be about. Now, I’m not the hugest fan of Elain and it all goes back to her and Nesta just sitting around when Feyre was in the woods fighting for her life and there's as well. I know that she apologized and felt guilty afterwards but her excuse was “we gave up and she didn’t” just did not do it for me. 

It was in this passage from A Court of Thorns and Roses, where my distaste for Elain blossomed: 

The mercenary transferred the coins to my waiting palm, and I tucked them into my pocket, their weight as heavy as milestone. There was no possible chance that my sisters hadn’t spotted the money--no chance they weren’t already wondering how they might persuade me to give them some. 

...I felt my sisters sweep closer, like vultures circling a carcass. 

Like at least we knew Nesta was the “wolf” as she described herself. We knew she had a sharp-tongue and we knew she could be a bitch with her words. But Elain, she was described as innocent and nice, and yes when you paint her in a garden with flowers and frilly dresses she does just seem like some Cinderella-like character but after five books, especially after ACOSF my hate for Elain has just grown. Like after ACOWAR, I just thought she was boring--yes, she had a hand in killing the king of Hybern but that hype was kind’ve stolen away when Nesta ripped his head from his body. 

Since then, we haven’t really, really got a full look through with Elain and a large part of that is because we haven’t gotten her point of view, like not even in A Court of Frost and Starlight. From what we know about her, canonically, no theories or anything, she likes to garden, she likes to cook, her friends are Cerridwen and Nuala, she doesn’t want to confront that bond she has with Lucien, and she has an attraction to Azriel. But beyond that we don’t know anything--there were things that I kept out even though they were mentioned in ACOSF but there is also a lot of mystery around the things she said and claimed to do--even Cassian questioned them but didn’t approach her about the topic. 

I don’t think we have enough of a story to build up on Elain. For the most part I feel like her presence in ACOSF was mostly there to just piss Nesta off. Literally, in every scene she has with Nesta, she is pissing her off, setting her off, making her yell or scream, or making the silver flames ignite. And this is extremely out of character for Elain. Yes, we don’t get enough of her, but from what we can gather, Elain usually is not one to push buttons but I wonder why she did with Nesta. 

Here are a few passages that I just found beguiling while reading Nesta’s interactions with Elain: 

Elain stepped closer, brown eyes wide. Undoubtedly wholly convinced of her own innocence, her innate goodness. “It’s the truth. We did this because we love you, and we worry for you, and if Father were here--”

“Don’t ever mention him.” Nesta bared her teeth, but kept her voice low. “Never fucking mention him again.” 

Mentioning their father? A very taboo subject for Nesta. And Elain stans like to argue that Elain is quiet and docile because she is an observer. She takes things in and she tucks them away in her memory, but if she’d paid so much attention then why would she mention their father to Nesta? Feyre noted Nesta’s relationship with their father in book one, so there is no way that Elain herself didn’t know about it. 

Here is  another line from their conversation I thought were very weird to read about and I’ll explain why: 

Elain crossed her arms and said calmly, sadly, “Feyre warned me this might happen.” 

Bullseye. Nesta doesn’t like to be talked about, to be judged. We learned that in ACOSF and again if Elain was this person who sees and pays attention she should’ve known this or caught on. 

I think in this scene, Elain was purposely trying to set off Nesta. 

Nesta cleared her throat. “Cassian said it might be good if I came.”

Elain’s eyes flickered. “Did Feyre pay you, like last year?” 

“No,” shame washed over her. 

Elain sighed, glancing over Nesta’s shoulder to the open doorway across the entry. The party within, only for their small inner circle. “Please don’t upset Feyre. It’s her birthday, first of all. And in her state--”

“Oh, fuck you,” Nesta snapped, and then choked. 

Nesta was actually trying to get better at this point. She even risked going to a party despite not feeling welcomed just because Cassian told her it might be good for her to be surrounded by her family and for her not be alone on the holiday. You could even tell how by the way Nesta is keeping herself away she is still uncomfortable but the thing is she still showed up which is a sure sign she is improving. 

I don’t know why Elain started talking about the year before or about upsetting Feyre--literally wanted to slap the bitch in this scene. Like I just want to know why Elain pressed so hard. Then afterwards she waved it off as if she hadn’t just said what she said and acted normally. I can not tell you how mad I was at this--like especially for a sensitive character like Nesta who is ALWAYS In her thoughts and always takes things to a deep level. Like what Elain said could’ve just broken a vital part of Nesta and caused her to relapse. 

Anyways, I think Elain’s behavior in ACOSF could hint at the Evil Elain theory. Although I don’t think it’s going to come in the next book--it might build in the next book but at most I think Elain’s story will come to fruition in ACOTAR 7 or 8 and isn’t going to be about her journey or soul searching but maybe we’ll be getting the point of view of a villain. Like there were many mysterious hints dropped in ACOSF and the way I interpreted them is that Elain is planning something and if her behavior matches her actions, it’s something that could possibly affect her sisters. 

Plus, you have to wonder how Brialynn and Koschei knew everything. They knew all the IC’s moves and all of Nesta’s moves...but how? A lot of the time when Nesta was given a mission by Rhys it was in the River House and we also know that Elain has been getting better at sneaking around without being detected so it’s not too farfetched that Elain could be the spy. You don’t have to agree with me but I think it’s a pretty solid theory as far as they go. 

But do tell me your thoughts I would love to hear them. I’m sorry if I offended anyone in the end but we all have to just respect everyone’s opinion so no fights or slander, especially in my comment section. 

[daughterofhel]

.

My icon died last night.

The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.

He was pretty much deaf; car got him.

I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.

It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.

Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.

And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?

I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.

I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.

Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.

So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.

Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.

I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.

I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.

I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.

Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.

We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.

The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.

We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.

We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.

I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.

But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.

I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.

I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.

May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.

And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.

But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.

One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.

She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.

Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.

But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.

I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.

Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.

I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.

I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.

Im. Scared. Of what’s next.

I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.

He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.

My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.

When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.

At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.

Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.

Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.

I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.

I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.

I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.

I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.

I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.

I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.

I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.

I just couldn’t do it.

And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.

His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.

If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…

God. I don’t see that man sticking around.

And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.

I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.

My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.

So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.

And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.

But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.

I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.

I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.

I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.

And. I’m burnt out.

I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.

I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.

Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.

It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.

It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.

But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.

I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.

Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.

Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?

I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.

Here I am. Just.

Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.

She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.

I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.

All I want to do is sleep.

Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.

But for her. I will.

[paladinwife]

I'm sure you're already gonna get some but just to be sure, all of the mythology asks for Raiden :> (both of them or either, your choice <3)

Me blasting Rules of Nature as I answer this

Also because this is a lot this will just be Metal Gear Raiden! Baal will have to be separate

Zeus: How did you first meet your f/o(s)? How did you feel about each other at first?

So I’m still working through this, but: my theory is that the people that hurt and nearly killed Elise were involved with the Patriots (not that she knew), and so her pursuing revenge resulted in her basically accidentally walking in on the plot of MGS2. She and Raiden run into each other this way some time shortly after the whole incident with Rose (where, in this timeline, he won’t forgive her and refuses to take her back). After their chance meeting they actually start bonding and see each other more and more.

Hera: How did you first start your romantic relationship with your f/o(s)? How did the way you feel about each other evolve to get to that point?

And this jumps off perfectly from the last question! Like I said, after their meeting, they start getting closer and spending some actual time together. At some point, Raiden realizes he’s following Elise like a puppy, but he’s nervous considering how badly his last romantic relationship went. Eventually, though, his feelings win out and he does approach her about dating, and Elise is happy to accept.

Poseidon: Do you and your f/o(s) like to travel? If so, where do you like to go? Is there anywhere you’d like to go that you haven’t yet?

Raiden and Elise travel a lot for their careers, but I think they really want to travel together. First priority is to go somewhere with a nice beach and just have a relaxing time, I think. But there are so many countries they want to see together when they have the chance.

Demeter: What’s your favorite season, and how do you like to spend that season together?

Elise loves autumn - not only is it her birth month, but the weather is lovely, and she loves to have some tea and enjoy the leaves changing color. Raiden doesn’t have particularly strong feelings on any season, but he appreciates how happy autumn makes his wife, and also that’s it’s Wife Birthday Time. Besides, he has some unfortunate memories associated with spring.

Athena: Are your f/o(s) interested in any particular hobby or interest of yours? Have you taught them about it, or let them watch you, or anything similar?

Elise, particularly after getting some cyborg augmentation in her arms and hands, starts getting really interested in visual art, especially painting. Raiden doesn’t know shit about art, but he knows that what his wife creates is super cool and he’s so proud. Also, Elise is a bit of a fitness buff to try to keep the human parts of her body strong and healthy, and Raiden is more than happy to watch if not join her just for the fun and moral support.

Apollo: What do you like best about your f/o(s)? What does your f/o(s) like best about you?

Ask this question to either of them and their first response will be “everything”. They adore each other. If Elise had to pick one, it would be his strength - not physical (though she is impressed with what he can achieve there), but the fact that he just keeps going despite everything. She had a lot of admiration for him in that regard and does her best to stay strong too. If Raiden had to just choose one, he would choose her heart. Not only is she the first person to treat him kindly and let him just exist as himself, but he sees the kind and gentle way she handles other people. She has a lot of love in her heart for others, and he doesn’t see a lot of that, so he thinks it’s beautiful. Also, he’s quick to add, she’s smart as hell and he admires that so much.

Artemis: Do you have any LGBT+ headcanons for you f/o(s)? Do you share these identities? Feel free to share anything else special about your LGBT+ identities.

They’re both bi as hell. I’m aware that most of Metal Gear is very bi, but Elise and Raiden are both extremely bisexual and love each other in an extremely bisexual way.

Ares: Are you ever protective of your f/o(s)? Are they ever protective of you?

Oh, both. Mutual protectiveness. Raiden being protective of her is obvious, but at any given time Elise is ready to fuck up anyone that would dare hurt him any more. Also they’re both more than ready to fight each other’s shitty exes.

Hephaestus: Do you and your f/o(s) ever like to get gifts for one another? What kind of gifts?

Yes! I’ve previously addressed Raiden’s tendency to get Elise cheesy souvenirs when he travels - he likes getting her little things like that. He also likes picking up things that remind him of her. Elise is also aware of Raiden’s tendency to not get things for himself, but one time she bought him something nice that she thought he’d like and he has treasured it ever since. It’s not about the actual thing, but more about the fact she loves him, right? She also apparently gets him t shirts that say silly things because he loves them.

Aphrodite: How do you and your f/o(s) like to show love to each other? Feel free to include your love languages, if you find that helpful.

Raiden kind of struggles to figure out his own love language and shows love in multiple different ways. I think, though, his primary one is quality time, and he very much appreciates just being around Elise. Second is physical touch, as he ends up really loving giving physical affection to her and the warm feeling of her skin. Elise likewise dabbles in all of them to a degree, but she tends towards acts of service - she will constantly go out of her way for him in a way that isn’t lost on him. She also does have quite the way with words that makes him feel all warm and fuzzy.

Hermes: Was it love at first sight? Slow burn with lots of pining? How fast did your relationship progress?

Raiden fell very very fast. He was like a puppy following her around. In spite of his trauma, or maybe because of it, he melted at her kindness and care right away and couldn’t get enough. Elise was a little slower, but I feel like she was surprised at how fast she fell. They were both careful in progressing the relationship, given their trauma, but it’s hardly a slow burn.

Hestia: What makes you and your f/o(s) feel at home? 

Raiden’s answer is Elise herself. Before he met her he didn’t have anything that strongly felt like a home - recall that Rose got mad at him for having a mostly empty bedroom because he didn’t come back to it often. It was Elise being there that made him want to come home more often. It’s less about the location and more about coming back to her, you know? Elise’s answer is actually similar - she’s not from where they live now and has moved around a lot in her life. Her attachment is more with him than to the place.

Dionysus: What do you like to do with your f/o(s) for fun? Is there anything fun you’d like to try with them?

Actually? Watching movies together at home. Raiden has a strong interest in that kind of thing, and watching them at home means he doesn’t have to try to pretend to be “normal” around others, whatever that means. It’s kind of been their thing since their first date. They certainly try lots of fun things together, but that one is special.

Hades: Would you ever consider a pet with your f/o(s)? What kind of pet? If you already have one, what is the pet like?

Honestly he deserves a dog. Again I’m leaning towards a bigger dog, but I think he’d love any dog. Just give this man a dog and he’ll dote on it. I’m particularly fond of a GSD for him because he kind of reminds me of one.

Persephone: How different are you and your f/o(s)? How do you deal with each other’s differences?

Honestly, more similar than you’d think. Aside from some shared trauma, they’re both very strong and persistent, and they’re full of compassion for others. I just think their strengths lie in different places. Really the similarities helped them bond quicker.

Nyx: Do you have any children with your f/o(s)? Would you ever consider children (biological or adopted)?

Well, I’d consider John (normally mothered by Rose, but now mothered by Elise herself) their son. I also made the mistake of referencing “children” to Justice, implying more than one, so uh. Watch this space.

(Thanatos answered here!)

Hypnos: Do you like to sleep together or share a bed with your f/o(s)? If so, what position do you sleep in? Does anyone hog the blankets, or have a stuffed animal, or have nightmares and need the other for comfort? Anything else along those lines?

Anyone who has played MGS2 knows Raiden is not naturally comfortable sleeping with other people. It takes him a while, but he does get to that point with Elise. Even better is that he finds that Elise soothes his insomnia and troubles with nightmares a lot. They tend to sleep hugging each other, by Elise’s request but with his enthusiastic consent.

The Erinyes: How does your f/o (or f/os) respond to someone mistreating you? Do they confront the person? Do they comfort you? 

Raiden. Gets. Furious. He can’t stand the thought of someone mistreating his wife. He would fight them if necessary. But at the same time, Elise isn’t that different: hell hath no fury like Elise pissed off that you’re mistreating her husband, who has been through enough.

The Moirai: What is your “happy ending” for your ship? How do you end up? What kind of life do you want together?

It’s for them both to finally be at peace. They’ve been through so much, and now that they have someone that they can truly trust, they can finally let their guards down and just exist peacefully. I think that’s the happy ending for them, regardless of everything else about how they end up.

(Calliope answered here!)

Thalia: Discuss any fluff ideas you have for your ship. What kind of affectionate or sweet scenarios do you like best for this ship?

Raiden really likes holding hands with Elise. Not only is he tickled by how tiny her hands are, but he finds it very soothing. Sometimes it’s hard for him to pretend for the public to be a completely normal un-traumatized person, but her touch and her hand put him at ease. He asks to hold hands with her a lot.

Melpomene: Here’s your dedicated angst question: discuss any angsty or hurt/comfort ideas you have for your ship.

This is hard, since I see this as such a happy ship. But the one thing is: when it comes to their first child, instead of faking a relationship and devastating Raiden, Elise probably tells him what’s going on and goes into hiding to protect her and their child. She probably had to have his first child alone and desperately hope that he would come back to her alive, and that’s a pretty painful thought.

Euterpe: What song(s) suit your ship best? Any particular lyrics that fit well?

From Take My Breath Away, the titular song for the ship:

That’s pretty painful but also very fitting.

Erato: Does any canon ship remind you of your ship (if you like those)? What tropes or ship dynamics apply to your ship?

Remember the girlboss/malewife pair from FMA and how iconic that was? That’s them for sure.

Terpsichore: Have you and your f/o(s) ever danced together? What kind of dancing? Formal dress or completely informal jamming out in your home?

Oh definitely they would. Elise is the only one with formal dance training, but Raiden is a romantic at heart and wants a dance with her, formal or not. I can see them just slow dancing in their house, so happy they’re in love.

[silver-wield]

If you don't yet have an analysis of when Cloud saves Tifa from the collapsing staircase, I'd like to hear it!

Sorry this one took awhile, Nonny, I was gonna do it yesterday, but I got super tired and then I was gonna do it earlier but I got pissed off and had to walk away from the internet before I threw my computer through a window.

So, the collapsing staircase aka the cloti hand grab. Bring it!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long and awesome! Because I saw things and I have suspicions!

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Recap time!

Let's backtrack a tiny bit first. Cloud's making his way up the pillar, had his bro moment with Biggs – damn you Square – and he's heading up to where Barret is on the top level.

Reno and Rude are in their chopper, throwing shade at Shinra while doing their jobs. I love how idgaf Reno is during this bit. Like, honey, you not even trying.

As Cloud comes into view on the staircase, Reno spots him and it's time for revenge! Nothing personal, bitch!

Ok, nothing very special here. SOLDIER!Cloud taking a look about for whatever resources he has to hand – none – and we've got Reno in the background waiting for him to get in range. (Yall also almost ended up with my gif of Nyx Ulric loool he pretty but Cloud’s prettier)

Reno's impatient. He fusses with the joy stick, drums his fingers, then puts his arms behind his head. The fact he's done this last move suggests he has no doubt he'll be gunning Cloud down sooner or later. We can see Rude keeping his eyes front – you can just catch the direction of his gaze behind the left lens of his sunglasses.

HOLY SHIT! Rude blinked! Like several times in quick succession! (gotta slow the frames down to 0.25 to catch it btw) Now, this could be nothing since Rude is very hard to read and has even smaller micro-expressions than Cloud does, but when someone blinks like that it usually means they recognise the person they're looking at. He's seen Tifa running up the stairs. I don't know why he might recognise her, aside from having a headcanon about it, but I'm telling you, I saw him do several rapid blinks when he caught sight of her, then draw Reno's attention to her. His eyes behind those sunglasses are ever so slightly wider than usual btw. It's really hard to see, but there seems to be a definite look of “I know you” about him.

Reno shooting at her might have been a mistake on Rude’s part. He could have forgotten himself in that moment of recognition and didn't mean to direct Reno to a new target. That would explain why he pulled away from the attack and made up an excuse about his hand slipping.

This makes me excited to find out if Rude knows her and what the deal is with that OG crush. My headcanon? He's a former student of Zangan too and helped get Tifa to Midgar when she was injured. She doesn't remember it since she was at death's door for most of the trip. I saw a bit saying Zangan had to use a lot of healing materia on her and she stayed in the hospital too, so it's reasonable she wouldn't recall Rude. But, we don't know for sure yet, which is why headcanon.

Still exciting though!

Cloud's heard footsteps on the stairwell, so turns to see who it is and you can just catch a glimpse of Tifa appearing through the metal slats. This is the first time Cloud spots her. The camera then pans up to the helicopter again where Reno prepares to shoot Tifa.

I don't wanna say for sure that Rude's jaw clenched here. The lighting is suspect because of the angle it strikes his face. He did something. I noticed something, but it's so utterly subtle I can't tell what. He either clenched his jaw for a brief second or his lips firmed, again for a brief second. It's probably easier to catch if you slow the frames down then don't look at Rude and rely on your peripheral vision to see it. That's how I end up replaying things a million times because I saw something and then have to spend half an hour trying to find it again lol

Reno definitely smirked, I caught that no problem.

So yeah, moving on from Rude's super micro-expressions, before Reno's even finished speaking he's pulling the helicopter away from Tifa. Like, Reno's still saying “bullets” when it happens. That's a very snap decision, especially with how fast Reno talks usually. And the entire time Reno's speaking Rude is looking at Tifa. I mean, he's expressionless – he could give Cloud lessons – but there's also emotion coming from him. I kinda feel a bit sad looking at him in this screen.  

Guess we'll get more Rude backstory in part 2!

Reno bangs his head and I always laugh at that part. Get rekt!

Cloud's all da fuq? since it's so very obvious Reno was lined up to shoot and then suddenly not. But there's no time to think about why because Tifa's still running up the stairs.

Omg I'm so good I even impress myself sometimes! Check either side of the screen. Tifa at one edge and Cloud at the other, already in motion to save her as the first bullets from Reno's miss start destroying the staircase. You could not get closer to the start of this catch!

Tifa's foot is on the second step here. That's not even a second after the last screen. Her sub isn't even fully solid that's how soon she yelled for Cloud. Going by common sense, the staircase is collapsing to her right and she needs to get up another 12 steps? In a couple of seconds? Yeah, she knew that wasn't happening. She needed him. I question how she knew he was there. She couldn't see him from where she was. Maybe she guessed the chopper was shooting at him, but it could've been anyone from Avalanche. She's not looking up the stairs, her eyes are at her feet.

I think she yelled for Cloud because that's who she wanted. Like Aerith said to follow her heart, Tifa's heart cried out for Cloud when she was in danger.

Well, if that isn't a look of surprise right there. She really didn't expect him to be right there at that moment. She was screaming for him, hoping he'd save her and there he was. Her face goes from this tense “I'm about to die” look, to this wide eyed shock that there he is, right in front of her, reaching for her. Right when she needed him most. If he wasn't there she'd have been shot and the last thing she said would've been his name. That's how important it is that she screamed for him there. It wasn't that she knew he was waiting for her. She didn't know he was there at all. She just wanted him to be the one to save her so desperately and he came through.

So I bet a lot of people have looked at this so romantically that he's reaching for her. Hell yeah in a way, but what makes it even better is when you remember you're looking at Cloud through Tifa's eyes. This is how she sees Cloud looking at her in this moment, all heroic and brave and just right there for her. That confident stance, totally out from behind any kind of cover, just waiting and reaching for her. It's funny she never calls him a hero in the game, except as a motivator at the end when he's dangling off a building, because he absolutely is pulling off the hero moment here. She called his name and he appeared to save her. It's exactly how she said during their promise.

He is taking her hand. That's his fingers wrapping around hers, while hers lay open against his palm. She is the passive party in this hold, while Cloud is the active one. She could've mutually grabbed him, but she didn't. This is him saving her. This is not an equal grab. This is Cloud grabbing Tifa. Only after his fingers close over her hand do hers do the same back.

Cloud backs up, dragging Tifa up the last of the stairs to safety, while keeping himself safe as well. There, he spins her around and puts his free hand on her back, while keeping hold of her other hand in his. He doesn't let her go at all during that move. In fact, you can also see that Tifa now has both hands on Cloud. The one he took is still holding his and she's put her other hand on his arm. She was likely very scared during that moment he saved her and she's holding onto him as an anchor to feel safe. Cloud saved her and she feels safe with him.

Cloud's expression is wary and alert, since he's focused on the danger, while Tifa's is scared. Just because she can fight, doesn't make her a fighter.

Cloud lets got of Tifa's hand so he can lean out from behind their safe spot and check on the danger, but he's left his other hand on her back. During this moment, Tifa actually leans back which would increase that contact.

Her face is quite blurred since we're focusing on Cloud in the foreground, but her expression seems to hint at a “thank god I have you” look.

Oh look, the camera refocused. Definitely a “thank god I have you” look, not to mention the tears in her eyes. She was terrified.

Also, that hand is still on her back.

But, she can't be weak in front of Cloud. She wants to prove she's his equal, that she doesn't need a hero. She just wants him. I mean, before he turns to look at her, she's staring at him like he set the stars in the sky for her.

As he takes his hand off her back and pulls out his “what the hell?” line, which is clearly him mad at her for being so reckless and almost dying on him, she gives him a brave smile and puts on her own persona as someone who can totally handle all this chaos. Scared? Tifa? Noooo.

She says “nice catch” all casual like she wasn't petrified and screaming his name less than thirty seconds ago and he is not impressed by this one bit. He's unconvinced Tifa's as blasé about this as she's acting, which is why he continues to challenge her. Which isn’t the first time he’s done it. He doesn’t let her bullshit him.

Basically, she's trying to be brave and support him, but he doesn't want her to put herself in danger because he wants to protect her. They're both trying to prove they're worthy of each other and doing stupid shit in the process.

This is actually a very good moment for them because we know Cloud pretty much does whatever Tifa wants because he wants to make her happy, but this shows he's not above arguing with her or challenging her when she's being reckless and endangering herself. He's not got her on a pedestal. She's not some unobtainable dream woman. She's real to him and he feels comfortable getting mad and showing negative emotions to her. That's why he can call her crazy without worrying it'll sour her opinion of him.

Remember, Tifa is non-confrontational by nature. She doesn't like fighting and will usually agree or let things go for the sake of an easy life. But, she disagrees with Cloud or tells him off several times throughout the game. This shows she's comfortable having confrontations with him. She's not worried about upsetting him and being rejected during a typical interaction. She worries about scaring him away when she’s unsure he’ll stay, but once he’s said he’ll stick around she relaxes and doesn’t seem as worried about him leaving her. It was only when she tried to move their relationship from friendship to more during alone at last that she worried about rejection. 

Tifa accepts Cloud's feelings, even the negative ones and deals with them in a mature way. She doesn't dismiss him or ignore how he feels. She just relates her feelings to his and points out that he's still going up the pillar, so she will too. She wants to stay by his side. Her heart led her to him. If he's going, then so is she. Her expression is earnest here. There's nothing more than what she says. She's not leaving. Nothing can change her mind.

OK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, RUDE?! DO YOU KNOW TIFA?!

He swallowed! His mouth tensed and he swallowed! Lips pulled down. Behind those sunglasses I caught movement. There's definitely something going on with Rude here and it's something that Reno doesn't know about since he doesn't recognise Tifa and he has no idea why Rude did that.

Ok, one last quick shot of yet more unnecessary touching between Cloud and Tifa. Why is he doing that? Literally to keep her within arm's reach. She said she's not leaving, so he's gonna keep her safe no matter what. To do that, he needs to know exactly how far away from him she is. Also, he wants to touch her lol

Conclusion

Well, there was lots of good stuff hidden in there and I'm even more convinced that Rude knows Tifa after I caught some of his micro-expressions. I'm excited to see if it's true in part 2, but more so the fact that we're gonna get the Turks characters' fleshed out compared to OG. We've already learned that Reno while not giving a fuck, also actually really gives a fuck. I love him. He's such a snarky butt.

But, this was about Cloud and Tifa, not Rude.

Yeah, she literally couldn't see him at any point when she was running up that staircase. She screamed his name because that's who she wanted in that moment to appear and save her. The surprise on her face is genuine. She didn't know he was there. Cloud's in full “I must save Tifa” mode, so it's real!Cloud motivating SOLDIER!Cloud to do what he doesn't think he's capable of. They then have a lover's spat about Tifa being reckless and show the healthy disagreement side to their relationship by not screaming and shouting at each other or being sarcastic – like Cloud is with someone else. While Cloud might not like Tifa going with, he understands her need to. She's also put it in terms that he can understand, but part of him is very unhappy about it, which is why in that last shot we see him with his hand on her arm ready to protect her at a moment's notice. He's not letting her out of sight or arm's reach.

It's some damn good solid relationship building from them during a tense moment.

[retromotherfuckers]

The 100 Season 7 Predictions:

(based entirely off the titles of episodes 7x01-7x09)

as more episode titles get released, i’ll make another post about those as well.

date posted: 4/14/2020 - this is because i’m gonna see if i can find some confirmed stuff tomorrow to see if i’m right or wrong on anything

7x01: “From the Ashes”

maybe it won’t open directly with bellamy freaking out about octavia but that’ll happen here or in ep2 for sure

most likely going to have something to do with madi and whether or not she’s still going to lead wonkru without the flame.

i don’t think the sheidheda plot is done even though the flame was destroyed - it just feels like it was way too easy (i know madi almost dying wasn’t easy but it was very fast and i don’t trust fast in tv shows) - maybe that plot will be continued here.

7x02: “The Garden”

probably about octavia - finding out whether or not she’s dead and in the anomaly.

“one garden, two serpents,’ and the title of the episode cannot be a coincidence.

the quote callback makes me think maybe diyoza makes an appearance, whether it be a flashback or she’s actually alive.

i completely believe gabriel will have something to do with what happened to octavia or know more than he says - i still don’t trust him, but i don’t not, ya know?

7x03: “False Gods”

possibly exploring how space/wonkru gets revenge and/or punishes russel (or how my cousin and i call him: papa argent) for all that he, his wife - who’s name i don’t care to remember - and josephine did.

maybe some more sheidheda plot.

7x04: “Hesperides”

in greek mythology, the “hesperides” were three goddess/nymphs trusted with the care of the tree of the golden apples which was had been presented to the goddess hera by gaia (the earth) on her wedding day.

they were the daughters of nyx (night) and erebos and were the keepers of other treasures of the gods. for example, perseus got what he needed from them to kill medusa.

the three goddesses and their glowing, golden apples were regarded as the source of the golden light of sunset - which celebrated the marriage of zeus and hera, the king and queen of olympus (aka heaven.)

they have a lot to do with the sun and that was pretty relevant in all the explanations i read about them, which is probably something to keep in mind as planet alpha has two suns.

i don’t know what this has to do with the show as a whole, but i doubt it’s a detail to overlook.

7x05: “Welcome to Bardo”

i’m gonna hit you with some knowledge i have - thank you teen wolf: ‘bardo,’ in japanese, means in a state between life and death.

it’s probably going to be an octavia episode - if i’m wrong (which i probably am) about 7x02.

whether it’s about octavia or not, it’s sufficient to say that i’m worried - especially if it’s about someone else and it’s a completely new issue.

7x06: “Nakara”

all that came up when i googled “nakara” was a kind of martial art, an indian drum, and an indigenous people in australia.

since i’m pretty sure none of that is going to be in an episode of a science fiction show that takes place several hundred years in the future, i’m gonna go ahead and say it’s a word in trig we just don’t know yet.

i saw something that said ‘nakara’ means evil so maybe that’s of significance.

i just came to the realization (right before i pressed post) that it could be about sheidheda because he’s the dark commander

sheidheda is an evil son of a bitch that tried to hurt my precious - ahem - i’m trying very hard to not express any opinion.

7x07: “The Queen’s Gambit”

probably a toss up between octavia and madi.

madi: she’s the commander and it could just be another name for her.

octavia: ‘bloodreina’ literally means ‘red queen.’

i’m leaning more towards an octavia episode and maybe she has to make a choice? stay alive or die? stay in the anomaly or go back to wonkru?

the definition of ‘gambit’ is an action of great risk or it can also mean a sacrifice, i’ll be keeping that in mind when i watch.

also (this is not a prediction - i knew this going in) lindsey morgan is directing this episode so i’m very excited to see it.

7x08: “Anaconda”

this episode is the prequel launch so i don’t really need to elaborate more.

it’s halfway through the season so maybe it acts as a mid-season finale or the mid-season premiere

7x09: “The Flock”

mid-season finale/mid-season premiere

maybe it’s a new weather thing on planet alpha we haven’t seen yet.

maybe it has something to do with the people in the anomaly.

maybe it just has to do with the anomaly in general.

unless i’m forgetting a previously mentioned ‘flock’ - please tell me if i am - i’m clueless about this one.

btw i can’t really remember if the 100 ever does mid-season breaks and the only other cw show that i’ve watched live is supernatural and the amount of mid-season breaks in that pisses me off to NO END.

the only season of the 100 that i watched live was 6 - all the other ones i waited until they were done and on netflix. i think i remember there being a two or three week period between two episodes but i could be wrong.

if someone rememebers, please tell me.

[svpernatvralis]

NERISSA MONTEVERDE is a 537 year old cis female fae. people say they have a striking resemblance to fahriye evcen. they work as the owner of royal jelly flowers and are part of the syndicate ( fae right hand ). people say they’re really coquettish, imaginative, & meticulous, but unfortunately also fickle, manipulative, & reticent. why are they in invictus? well, they simply wish to protect their kind. 

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! this is my precious bby nerissa who is honestly quite curt sometimes tbh lmao still, she’s got a good heart deep down and is pretty much what you might say away with the fairies 99.9% of the time hsjakgkjf no pun intended tehe. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

name. nerissa angelique monteverde.

age. 537, but appears around 29.

d.o.b. december 17th.

gender. cisgender female.

pronouns. she / her.

orientation. pansexual.

affiliation. the syndicate.

rank. fae right hand.

job. owner of royal jelly flowers.

connections.

birth mother. enya. †

birth father. caliban. †

step-mother. nyx. †

siblings. unknown.

significant other. n/a.

child/ren. n/a.

pet/s. n/a.

proficiencies.

spoken languages. english, turkish, german, italian, french, spanish, & latin.

negative traits. brusque, calculating, distant, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. dedicated, strong-willed, direct, honest, loyal, patient, reliable, enjoys creating order, & excellent organiser.

weaknesses. inflexible, stubborn, judgemental, uncomfortable with unconventional situations, too focused on social status, finds it difficult to relax, & has difficulty expressing emotion.

appearance.

eye colour. hazel.

hair colour. brown / auburn.

height. five feet, eight inches.

weight. 59 kg.

miscellaneous.

zodiac. sagittarius.

element. fire.

house. slytherin.

meyers briggs type. estj-a.

alignment. true neutral.

enneagram. type one.

temperament. choleric.

intelligence type. interpersonal.

background.

NERISSA ANGELIQUE MONTEVERDE     —     five hundred and thirty-seven, fae, owner of royal jelly flowers, + fae right hand for the syndicate !

possible triggers   :   adultery, infertility, execution, beheading, murder, death.

tl;dr.     alrighty, where do we start with this lil spitfire? she uhhh ... has a lot of issues and is quite distant bc of it. nerissa was the product of an affair between an esteemed fae ( caliban ) and a fire faerie ( enya ). though nerissa never had the chance to meet her birth mother as her step-mother ( nyx ) banished enya shortly after she gave birth. enya’s banishment was a result of the rage nyx held toward her. in part, due to her inability to conceive a child of her own and also due to her anger for her husband’s affair. thus, nerissa grew up under the impression that her biological mother was nyx; neither of her parents divulging the truth behind her parentage. although nerissa was not biologically nyx’s daughter, nyx adored the young fae as if she were her own blood. in truth, nerissa spent more time with her ‘mother’ than with her father. in part, caliban felt the loss of his mistress even though he refused to acknowledge her part in his daughter’s birth. basically, he never had any time for nerissa and excluded her from everything. still, she remained upbeat about it, thinking that one day she'd win his love. she did not. shocker. growing up, life was mostly positive for nerissa. her father’s guards protected her, and his warlock friends aided her with her abilities and taught her the fae ways as well as those of the human beliefs. as the years passed by, nerissa grew stronger and smarter; becoming an adored figure among her fellow fae, yet, in the background, tensions rose between nyx and caliban when their family dynamic became endangered by nyx’s threat of revealing the truth behind nerissa’s heritage. in fear of their secret becoming common knowledge ( and most importantly, ariela finding out ), caliban ordered for his wife to be executed for ‘treason.’ of course, nerissa tried to protest this due to her love for the woman she believed to be her mother but her attempts to prevent her father’s ruling were futile. days later, nyx was publicly beheaded by one of caliban’s most loyal guards. this act served to place a wedge further between nerissa and her father and as the years ticked by, until his untimely demise which was when nerissa left her home behind. soon after, she joined the syndicate where she now sits as the right hand for the fae. to this day, she remains unaware of her true parentage and continues to struggle with the haunting nightmares of her childhood. so yah, nerissa had a pretty rough childhood but she's bounced back. well, about as much as you'd expect from someone who grew up feeling unwanted and unloved. really, she just always tries her best and is a perfectionist and wants to protect her kind.

random extras.

her signature scent is chanel N°5.

she’s fearless af. throwback to her upbringing, most likely.

she’s all sweet smiles and charming words until her expression turns sharp and deadly. it’s her tactic to entice then pounce, if you will.

she loves to surprise people. most assume she’s a pretty girl but oh, she loves the look of shock on their faces when she unleashes her inner bish.

in a way, her words are like her weaponry.

an angel of vengeance in a pair of designer sunglasses tbh.

owns waaay too many pairs of heels.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

often wears suits and totally rocks them.

when it comes to whether or not she is morally decent or an extremely bad person, she is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum—she isn’t heartless but she isn’t compassionate either.

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

she can be pretty deadly if you piss her off enough.

is truly an independent woman who don’t need no man.

loyalty means a lot to her. if you betray her trust, then she’ll freeze you out.

while she’s a major ice queen on the outside, she has the potential to melt with the right people.

may seem like she has a superiority complex and acts as if she’s better than you, but it’s just because she knows her worth and her value.

she knows her strengths and isn’t afraid to assert them.

she’s v confident. not in a cocky way, but she is definitely self-assured in her looks and abilities.

avoids violence when possible.

prefers blackmail and taking advantage of people’s pressure points.

she’s her own biggest fan tbh.

[tarotdeckshuffle]

So this is weird and silly but I wanted to request the bros somehow getting like a body switching spell cast on them and they end up switching bodies with their f!s/o?? How does that go down?? (I low key feel like Noct wouldn’t be able to not touch his boobs all the time)

Here wego! Taro is posting again!

Taglist: @idiotflowerex, @laststory1013, @sayaoqueen, @jophinabean, @mysme-already, 

If youlike what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a Ko-fi!

Noctis

Why iseverything you’re wearing so uncomfortable?

Immediatelyfeels his (your?) boobs.

“Wow…they’re…heavy.” 

Can’tstop touching his boobs.

But…not what he expected. 

Wantsto take off his bra because it’s uncomfortable.

You tryto stop him at first, but the whole scene is quite comical so you let it playout.

Youthought he was bad at getting your bra off? Try watching him get his own offfor the first time. 

Finallymanages.

Now istotally embarrassed.

“Theseshirts show everything”

All youcan do is nod in a knowing way. 

Hetries to cover himself with a coat. 

Laterin the day is complaining of back pains. 

“I hatebras…but I need them.” 

Mood.

Finallyyou switch back and he couldn’t be happier. 

“Inever have to wear a bra again!” 

Prompto

“Firstoff, can I touch my boobs? Your boobs? On me? But…”

He hasto know, like RIGHT away. 

“Go forit.” 

Hedoes, but he looks dismayed. 

“They’redifferent sizes…”

Noshit, sherlock. 

“Ithought…but…” 

It’slike a kid who just found out Santa isn’t real. 

You endup just walking around most of the day. 

Promptoends up getting catcalled. 

Istotally freaked out by it. 

“Whyare they doing that? Is it because something’s wrong with me and they thinkit’s funny? Are they serial killers? Are they going to do something? Should werun?” 

He literallyvoices everything that runs through your head each time it happens. 

“They’reharmless…hopefully.” 

Promptosqueaks and walks faster.

Whenyou finally switch back, he practically falls over in relief. 

“How doyou do it? The…the catcalling and the uncomfortable clothes and the makeupand the…WOW! YOU ARE JUST INCREDIBLE! No, better, you’re majestic! A queen!It takes talent to be a woman and bravery and you are just so much more thanthe world gives you credit for…”

And hekeeps rambling your praises for hours to come. 

Ignis

Firstinspects his new body, running his hands down his hips. 

“Notfully what I expected…” 

Andwhat the hell did you expect?

He gives you a mischievous smile. 

“Thatrequires further testing…”

Totallya Tiresias sort of thing.

Wantsto test this body as soon as possible. 

Otherwise,extremely poised with his new body.

Also,amazing at walking in heels. 

Gladio

Strangelypoised in the situation. 

“Huh,always wondered what it’d be like…” 

He’slooking up at you in his body, now. 

“I feelso…small.” 

Welcometo everyone else’s life. 

Triesto pick fights all day. 

Manypeople back down from an angry woman,

Butothers just laugh. 

Whichpisses him off even more. 

Helearns to fight in heels and ends up loving them. 

“They’reso versatile. You can kick with them, throw them, stab someone with them…youcan do just about everything but walk in them.” 

Forhim, touching his boobs is a bonus, but not essential. 

Whenyou switch back, the first thing he does is pick you up and cradle you. 

“It’sgood to be tall again…”

Ravus

“Theseare the clothes you choose to wear?”

Immediatelystarts judging you. 

Sure,they’re nice clothes, why?

“Theyare uncomfortable, worn out, and do nothing for your figure.” 

Andyou’re off shopping instead of investigating. 

If he’sgoing to be in your body, he’s going to look good. 

He getsyou designer clothes for every layer. 

Testingthem himself of course. 

Likelyhas more fun doing makeup than you thought he would. 

He getsto spoil you and himself in one go! It’s perfect!

“Idon’t’ like that, take it off…”

“No! Itaccentuates your curves and I find it quite attractive…”

By thetime you switch back, you’re disgusted and amazed. 

Sure,the new clothes fit and feel amazing,

But…someof them are so not your taste. 

Nyx

Can’t…stop…touching. 

Wantsto try EVERYTHING with your body!

“Erg…whydoes my stomach hurt so bad! What did you eat?” 

It’snot food, darling…it’s cramps. 

“It’swhat?! You mean it’s…THAT time of the month?!”

Hethinks the world is falling apart. 

Yes,dear, it is. But you’ll be fine. Just tough it out. 

Buthe’s a big baby about it. 

Superawkward with tampons and pads. 

“Everythinghurts and I’m bleeding. That statement should mean that I just came from abattle but NO! It’s a monthly thing for you?!” 

All youcan do is shrug and laugh at him through the day. 

Whenyou switch back he couldn’t be happier.

“I’mnever screwing with women again, you’re damn near made of pain. Men’s bodieshurt when they get hurt, yours hurt regularly just for fun.” 

Ardyn

“Ohh!This again!” 

Wait…again?!

Strutsin heels, looking absolutely fantastic. 

Makesyour body look better than you do!

“Whatdo you say you let me find out what YOU like best?” 

He sayswith a wink, pulling you close. 

Takesyou forever to figure out how to switch back because he has to get bored withyour body first. 

Afteryou do, your relationship takes on a whole new level of pleasure. 

[sapphicmsmarvel]

Night and Day

This is my own work! as with all my works please do not take my works! if you find it on anything other than tumblr or wattpad it’s not me!

I'm going to tell you a little story.

About Elaine and Nyx.

Two Queens, who despite all of the marriage proposals from men and all the people telling them they had to marry within their own courts, they fell in love with each other.

First I think you deserve to know how they started off.

Nyx was the Princess of the Stars, she controlled weather patterns as well, her favorite weather power was Lightning. She had silky black hair that in the moonlight looked blue, her eyes were as bright and shining as the stars.

Despite all the lovers she's taken (all of them being female) and the marriage proposals she's received (mostly female) she wasn't married. Which is something her family was royally pissed off about.

"Nyx, darling just accept a proposal for the love of all things!" Her mother once screamed at her.

"I want to marry someone I love, not someone that's just looking to marry a princess." She said back and walked off to her quarters.

The rumors quickly spread that she was refusing to marry because she was selfish and unworthy of love. Rumors also spread that she had hooked up with past servants and that she was a whore. For the record, she has slept with others, but never the staff (because they are all her friends). Her signature saying is "if you're going to insult me, do it correctly."

To be truthful she found the whore comment completely unnecessary and sent a little....zap towards those who started and spread that rumor.

Eventually her parents died, and left her the entire fortune and she was to take on the role of a Queen.

Many of her people were angry at the idea of her marrying out of the Kingdom of Night, her bloodline needed to be continued and she was the only child. There was only one person that had caught Nyx's eye.

The Protected Virgin Princess of Day, Elaine.

What a pair they'd be, all Nyx knew about her was that she had a fire brewing inside of her, and she was beautifully innocent.

So she made it her duty to meet her thoroughly at the next high council meeting, which consisted of Nyx and the entire Day Kingdom family.

Elaine was just as attracted to Nyx, she'd heard stories of the nighttime vixen and her life of freedom. Things weren't nearly as tight in the Night Kingdom as they were in the Day Kingdom. According to rumors, Nyx had been eyeing Elaine for years.

Elaine wasn't going to lie, Nyx intrigued her in ways that she shouldn't of, nothing was wrong with her loving a woman, her brother had feelings for Nyx and Elaine felt like she was betraying her brother.

Which was why when she saw Nyx at the high council meeting ball, she nearly dropped the glass of champagne.

Nyx was wearing a black skin tight dress that hugged her curves, it had a plunging neckline and a strand of gold hung in between the swells of her breasts. She wore gold heels that were strung up to her knees, wrapping around her leg like a vine does to a tree. Her makeup was natural but it out stood every woman in the room, she had gold eyeliner, dark, full lashes and red naturally pouting lips. Her hair was down in it's natural waves but was sparkling like a dozen constellations in a night sky. Her skin glowed warmly as she strolled into the grand room.

Her goddess aura made Elaine feel childish with her daisy flower crown and lace white dress.

But she seemed to be looking at Elaine with a brighter smile than she'd ever seen on Nyx's face before. Elaine had only seen Nyx smile when she was flirting with ladies at these meetings or laughing with her guards.

She whispered something to the dark haired guard at her side. He moved his eyes to Elaine and nudged her Nyx with a smile and said something. Nyx blushed but rolled her eyes and slapped the guard gently on the chest in a "stop being so embarrassing." The guard walked away, and Nyx strolled up to Elaine.

"Hello Elaine." She greeted her with a warm smile, "how are you?"

"I'm good how are you?" Elaine smiled sipping the sweet champagne.

"Very well, how's everything with your mother?" She asked, it took Elaine by surprise, no one ever asked about her mother.

Her mother had fallen ill a few months ago, recovery was looking promising it was just scary to see your mother in that position.

"She's getting better, thank you for asking." Elaine said, then she realized why the meeting was so silent.

Everybody was looking at them.

Nyx seemed to notice as well, she also noticed Elaine's discomfort. "Hey, why don't we go for a walk around the gardens?" She asked offering her hand.

Elaine wasn't going to lie, she wanted to melt into a puddle of goo right there because the woman who has caught the most eyes that night was asking Elaine if she wanted to talk more.

Elaine nodded and took Nyx's hand, and let her lead the way.

***************************************

"Sorry to put you on the spot like that," Nyx murmured, running her hand through her hair. It didn't even make her hair messy, it still looked beautiful.

"It's alright, they're just a bunch of tight asses." Elaine said laughing.

Nyx laughed, "I don't think I've ever heard you swear."

Elaine smiled again, "I swear when others aren't around, so they don't think their religious symbol is a sham." She said as if she was telling Nyx a secret in school.

"Do you like having that weight on your shoulders?" Nyx said curiously, picking a rose from a rose bush. The red rose was bright under the moonlight.

Elaine tapped her white fingernails against her glass, "honestly no."

"So don't be that symbol." Nyx gave the rose to Elaine.

"What do you mean?" Elaine said, sniffing the rose.

"When I was a kid, I was seen as the protected, not the protector like I wanted. I hated having everyone wait on me, like I was some helpless little girl who didn't want to chip her nails by doing work. So I broke free, I started helping maids clean, the cooks enjoyed my honest opinions about their food and I helped them make it better. I worked because I hated being seen as helpless. I hated being seen as a pure symbol." She said viewing the flowers.

"How do I do that?" Elaine asked. Curiosity bloomed in her stomach, she wanted to be free.

"Join me." She said setting her glass down, "join me in my Kingdom." Nyx turned fully towards Elaine who stared at Nyx in shock.

Elaine looked at Nyx in shock, "what good would I do there?"

"You'd be able to have control in your own life for one," she looked at Elaine, sparks igniting in those blue eyes, "two, you'll be free of those forced marriages that your parents are going to force on you."

Elaine considered the option, somehow Nyx knew exactly what her parents were up to, Elaine knew Nyx wasn't lying. Also accepting this would mean she'd be freed from forced marriages and alliances.

Elaine turned to Nyx with a smug smile, "where do I sign?"

[ravenoftheskyes]

Personas, Wildcards, and Families. (Part 1)

(AN: Time to start writing again! This is supposed to go to with my Mako-Fam fic that’s up on my blog, but it’s not necessary to read it to read this one. Once again, inspired by the Mako-Fam au on @thieves-in-the-palace’s blog. Also still a bunch of ships. Not gonna tag them all this time. This is gonna be Multipart Bc I kinda hit the paragraph limit.)

Makoto walks into her home, exhausted after a day of running around in Kaneshiro’s palace. The thieves were close to the treasure. A bit more and they could send the calling card. Makoto walked into her room and immediately fell asleep on the bed.

The next morning was luckily a Sunday. Ren had said they weren’t going into the palace today, citing the fact that it was Ryuji’s birthday and he needed to hang out with his boyfriend. Sae was out and Makoto was alone. Until she heard a knock at the door. She walked over and opened the door to reveal...

Akihiko Sanada, Chie Satonaka, and Naoto Shirogane. According to most people, the two officers and the detective were the best trio you could have on a case. Smart, Courageous, and Strong. However, Makoto knew them as her family. She stepped aside to let them in.

“Hm, Teddie’s here too?” She asked them, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Yeah...” Chie said, trailing off at the end.

“It’s beary quiet in here!” Teddie said to absolutely no one. Bless him and his talent for bringing smiles to everyone’s faces.

Small discussions grew and the house was filled with conversation and laughter. Teddie walked off to take a call from Yosuke.

“Yosuke and Sensei said that there was something important we had to talk about!” Teddie exclaimed.

Akihiko, Chie, and Naoto knew that it was probably some Shadow Operatives stuff, or something else important, but they hesitated to leave Makoto alone in the house. They knew how it felt to feel alone.

“Go. I’ll be fine.” Makoto said to them, not dulling their worries. But they had to go. So they did.

“We’ll be back soon.” Naoto promised the girl.

Makoto wanted to tell them everything. About how her persona made her feel. About everything they did.

Little did she know, there was a discussion going on.

Teddie walked over to a table.

“She’s awakened to her persona! My nose knows!” Teddie said to the rest of the Shadow Operatives.

“What did we tell you?” Minako said.

“How did you three know?” Mitsuru asked the Wildcards.

“Those labyrinth things we told you about. She was there, in the second one.” Minato said, for once not half-asleep.

Ken piped up from the back, asking about why only they remembered the labyrinths.

“Wildcard magic.” Yu said, and everyone accepted the answer.

“The real question is, how do we talk to her about it? Only other persona users understand personas. She isn’t going to tell us about it.” Akihiko says.

“...I don’t think they’ve gotten their permanent Navigator yet. It’s a bit too early to talk about them with her.” Yu says to the teams.

And so they agree to wait a few months. To let her team gain strength. To have her increase her bonds. Let her connection with Johanna get stronger. Let Queen rise to the occasion.

A couple of months pass. Futaba, Haru, and Goro join the team. Makoto and Johanna get better. They all agree that it’s time to reveal their Personas to her.

They come to Makoto’s house during a bad point. Sae’s doing her whole win/lose thing again. Sae hasn’t been acting right for a couple of years now.

“It’s either a win or lose, Makoto! You can’t lose!” Sae yells out to her sister.

“Sis! Calm down, please!” Makoto yells back, desperation evident in her voice.

Chie, Akihiko, and Naoto rush in.

“Sae! Calm down!” Chie yells out.

“She needs to learn! She’s not going to make her way in this world without knowing that losing is to be avoided!”

“But, Sae! Losing is inevitable! You aren’t going to win everything!” Naoto yells out.

The air becomes tense. It seems to be crackling with electricity. And did it just get colder in here?

“What do you know?! Everyone loves you! You’re winning 24/7!” Sae screams out.

The three of them get flashbacks to the fear during foggy days and full moons. To feeling hopeless and yet, continuing to fight.

“We’re not winning all the time.” Akihiko says to her, as he remembers October 4th, where his best friend, his brother, his rock since Miki’s death, fell into a coma that he wasn’t supposed to recover from.

“We lose a lot more than you think.” Chie whispers, as she remembers her shadow. How it said she only kept Yukiko around for her looks. How it said she didn’t really love her.

“It takes losses to get a win.” Naoto mutters, at a barely hearable level. She remembers Heaven, Nanako’s little place in the TV World. How it broke everyone, little by little when the girl died.

But then they remembered how Shinjiro woke up from the coma, how Chie’s shadow helped her save Yukiko, how Nanako came back to life.

How Nyx and Izanami were defeated. Even if for a few months, the Arisato Twins had to die. Even if for a few moments, the entire Investigation Team sacrificed themselves for their leader. Things worked out for them, because they were willing to take losses for the wins. Adachi, Takaya, Ikutski, Namatame... inconsequential at this point.

Until Sae screams out.

“What have you lost?! Don’t try to patronize me by telling me you’ve lost things too! Get out! And don’t come back!”

Okay, the air isn’t just crackling anymore. Makoto can feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And seriously, when did it get so cold in here?

The three of them leave, not wanting to make things worse. Naoto pulls her phone out of her pocket, ever so slightly. Makoto gets it. Text them later.

And then Sae says that Makoto isn’t allowed to contact them anymore. She should just forget about them.

But Makoto’s a phantom thief now. She’s not going to go down so easily.

The next day, she asks Ren if she could borrow his phone. Ren gives it to her.

To: Naoto Shirogane

Ren: Aunt Nao, it’s Makoto. Sae said I couldn’t contact you anymore.

Naoto: ALRIGHT, I’LL TELL EVERYONE ELSE.

Ren: Class is about to start, so I have to go.

Naoto: WE’LL FIGURE THIS OUT. DON’T WORRY.

Makoto hands Ren his phone back, and bolts to class. She makes it with a few seconds to spare.

Now, Naoto’s at the police station. She switches text conversations.

To: Persona Losers

Naoto: WHO CHANGED THE GROUPCHAT NAME THIS TIME?

Yosuke: naoto stp txtin lik that.

Yu: Partner, your texting isn’t any better.

Yosuke: cmon ptnr

Minato: I’ve got a class going on, text fast.

Naoto: SAE SAID THAT MAKOTO COULD NOT TALK TO US ANYMORE.

Minako: Oh no.

Minato: Minako, you’re supposed to be watching my class?

Minako: Right, sorry!

Junpei: btw I changed the gc name

Yukari: I’m telling Mitsuru.

Junpei: wait no

Yukari: Too late, my beautiful wife is pissed.

Yukiko: Do you have to bring up the fact that you’re with your wife at every turn? I’m home in Inaba while my gf’s in Tokyo and I miss her.

Chie: I miss you too...

Akihiko: Back to the point at hand.

Minato: What, you don’t miss me?

Akihiko: Babe, this isn’t the time.

Minato: I know.

Minato: Oh, I’ve got to go.

Minato: Bye <3.

Naoto: I SHOULD GO AS WELL. GOODBYE.

Yosuke: bye u 2.

Akihiko: skshdjshshsisj

Chie: I can’t believe you killed Akihiko

Naoto pockets her phone, and walks over to Akihiko and Chie.

“So, can’t handle affection?” Chie teases a red-faced Akihiko.

“Shut UP. Can we get back to the point?” He replies.

“As much as I’d love to join in on the teasing, he’s right. We need to talk about Makoto.” Naoto joins in on the conversation.

“Yeah, how are we supposed to talk to her now?” Chie asks.

“We could... wait for her to tell us?” Naoto mutters.

“Naoto, are you kidding me? She doesn’t know we have personas. She thinks we’re not going to believe her.” Akihiko says to her.

“Okay but how do we do either? Sae’s cut off all communication.” Chie interjects.

“Rise or Fuuka?” Naoto asks.

“Rise’s on a tour and Fukka’s on special assignment back home.” Akihiko tells the detective.

“What about Mitsuru or Teddie?” Chie asks.

“They’re also busy.” Naoto says to her.

“...Teddie’s busy?” Chie says, shocked.

“Yosuke’s making him work double-shifts back home to pay for all the topsicles he’s been eating.” Naoto says, stifling a giggle.

“Wait... can’t we just talk to her on the way to school?” Akihiko whispers.

“...”

“Why didn’t we think of that?!” Chie exclaims.

The next day...

Makoto walks off the train, meeting with Ren to have a quick conversation.

“Hey, Makoto!” Chie yells out as they get close to her.

“Oh, hey! You want to talk right now?” Makoto asked them.

“We know you have school soon, but we have to tell you something. Could you come over to the place we’re staying after school?” Naoto asked them.

“Sure...” Makoto replied, feeling a bit nervous.

Makoto walked over to the small house where they were staying for the week while they worked on the case. She walked in, still feeling apprehensive. The Okumura incident had just happened, and they were cops. What if they realized that Makoto was a Phantom Thief?

“Makoto, we need to talk to you about something.” Naoto said, at a table in the middle of the living room.

Oh, no Makoto thought to herself. She’s been busted.

“Tomoe” Chie said to Makoto.

“What?”

“Tomoe, my Initial Persona’s name.” Chie told her.

“WHAT?!” Makoto screamed out.

“Sukuna-Hikona”

“Polydeuces”

“SERIOUSLY?! I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TELL YOU ABOUT JOHANNA FOR MONTHS NOW!” Makoto continued screaming.

After a while, Makoto chilled out.

“So, where do you go to fight Shadows?” Akihiko asked her.

“You guys don’t go to the Metaverse?” She asked them.

“No, Akihiko went to a place called Tartarus, and Chie and I went to the TV world.” Naoto replied.

“Wait... so the stories about the Tower at Midnight and the TV murderer... those were your persona exploits?”

“Yes” the three of them spoke in unison.

“So all those weird names... they were the names of everyone’s personas?”

“Yes!”

“Quick question, Lucia is who’s persona?”

“Fuuka’s.” Akihiko told her.

“So... should I take you to the metaverse?” She asked them.

“We’d appreciate it.” Naoto told her.

And so Naoto takes the three into Mementos.

“It’s very... red.” Chie supplies, unhelpfully.

“Whoa, what happened to your clothes?!” Naoto yelled out.

“Your clothes don’t change?” Makoto asked them. “Then how do you summon your personas?”

“How do you summon yours?” Akihiko asked.

“Oh, like this.” She said, as she removed her mask to reveal Johanna. “By the way, this is the Metaverse. Call me Queen. That’s my codename.”

“Well, Queen, we summon our personas in... other ways. It’ll be easier to show you.” Naoto tells her.

Naoto and Chie pull out a pair of glasses each, as Akihiko pulls out... a gun?

“Polydeuces!”

“Tomoe!”

“Sukuna-Hikona!”

They each summon their personas. Makoto stands there, shocked. And then one idea pops into her head.

“So, the ones from the TV world are the only ones that don’t have edgy summoning sequences?”

“Yes” Naoto tells her. “It’s kind of disturbing how the Phantom Thieves and SEES summon their personas.”

“It’s to signify acceptance of death, Naoto.”

“Still concerning, Akihiko.”

“I mean, the mask is supposed to signify your true self and how you break free from society’s way of saying what you are.” Makoto interjects.

“Still freaky!” Chie yells out.

“Wait... why did you summon your initial personas? Why not your ultimates?” Makoto asks.

“We’d rather show them off in a battle!” Chie yells out.

And then they see a shadow.

“It’s been too long since we’ve done this.” Naoto smirks, as she gets her gun ready.

“Yeah!” Akihiko and Chie scream out in unison.

Makoto goes for the attack.

Two High Pixies.

The battle goes by smoothly, and Makoto makes a mental note of their elements.

“What?! Why did that look like a persona our leaders could summon?!” Chie yells out.

“You mean your leaders don’t recruit personas by negotiating with them?”

“No, just fighting Hableries and Mayas.” Naoto cuts in.

“...What?” Makoto asks

“You... don’t know what a Hablerie or a Maya is?” Akihiko asks her, shocked.

“No, we fight shadows like Pixie or Bicorn...”

“Wait... what... so your Wildcard gains new personas by negotiating with these shadows and they just enter his heart?” Naoto says, with a perplexed look on her face.

“Yeah. How do your leaders get them?”

“Uh, our leaders just say a bunch of Tarot Cards appear in front of their faces and they choose as many as the weird voice allows them...” Chie says.

“That’s... weird”

“We know” the three of them say in unison.

And then chains start rattling.

“We should get off this floor...” Makoto mutters

“Definitely.” Akihiko says.

“What’s the problem? So, the reaper’s in a treasure chest.” Chie adds.

“Looks like the reaper follows Tartarus’s rules here.” Akihiko says.

And then the sense of dread meaning the reaper’s close by comes.

“Run!” Makoto yells, and they all take off towards the stairs.

After three dead ends and almost getting caught twice, they finally make it to the stairs.

“God, I miss the Monabus at times like these.”

“The what?” Naoto asks her.

“Uh... one of our team members is an anthropomorphic cat that insists he’s not a cat and he can turn into a van.”

“Oh. So a mascot.” Chie says “Kind of like Teddie or Koromaru.

“What about Teddie? And Koromaru has a persona?!” Makoto says.

“Teddie’s not actually a method actor. He’s a weird mascot bear suit shadow that grew a body. We don’t get it either.” Naoto supplies.

“And uh, yeah. Koromaru has a persona too. He can’t talk or anything. He’s just a dog.” Akihiko tells her.

“...Damn. Next thing you’re going to tell me Aigis is actually a robot.” Makoto said with a chuckle.

“She is.” Akihiko tells her.

“...What?”

“Aigis is actually a robot” Naoto says.

“Anything else I should know?!” Makoto yells out, which was probably a bad idea considering they were in the middle of Mementos.

“All those crazy stories we told you? Cover stories. Yu and Yosuke did not meet shopping for a TV. They met on the first day that Yu was in Inaba, at school and a couple days later, He, Yosuke, and I fell into the TV world and met Teddie.” Chie tells her.

“...I’m surprised you didn’t spill any of this when you took Goro, Ken, and I to Karaoke and got wasted.” Makoto said.

“Don’t remind me, the hangover was terrible.” Naoto stated, clutching her head.

“Didn’t Ken film everything...?” Akihiko asked her.

“Yeah. I have the video. So does Goro. ‘Blackmail Material’ as he called it. I’m just planning to use it whenever you try to act like mature adults.” Makoto says, stifling a giggle.

“What was the highlight?” Chie asked.

“It’s a tie between Teddie getting wasted and trying to score with everyone there and you and Yukiko forgetting you’ve been dating for the past 5 years and kinda just... getting together.” Makoto says.

“...How much did we drink?!” Chie yells out.

“Just know that Minato, Minako, and Yu are very sappy drunks.” Makoto says.

“Wow, wildcard squad actually shows some emotion?” Chie jokes.

“Wait. Minato, Minako, and Yu are the wildcards?” Makoto asks her.

“Yes, they are.” Naoto tells her.

“...So that’s why I was getting a similar vibe from them and Ren.”

“Ren... so that’s the name of your leader?” Naoto asks.

“Yeah, do the Wildcards always lead?” Makoto replies.

“Yeah. They’ve just got this natural charisma that makes everyone fall in love with them. They’re insanely flirty if you give them the chance to be.” Chie tells her.

“So it’s not just Ren. Wildcards are just gigantic dorks that can make you fall in love with them at the drop of a hat.”

“Yes!”

“Aren’t some of the personas they can summon kind of... concerning?” Makoto asks them.

“...We just ignore them.” Naoto tells her.

“We should probably get back soon, shouldn’t we?” Makoto asks them.

“You’re right, time passes here too.” Chie says.

“There’s no limit on how long you can spend in here, right?” Akihiko asked.

“Nope, just that all the time you spend in here translates into the real world. We came in at 8:24. Sis is going to be really upset if I don’t show up soon.” Makoto said.

“She’s right. As fun as it is fighting shadows in a new place, we can’t risk burning ourselves out.” Naoto mutters. “Not to mention Sae.”

“Yeah. I should get home. See you guys later!” Makoto tells them.

Makoto leaves Mementos, and turns to go home before realizing she has one more question.

“When did you three get your personas?” She asks them.

“Third year of middle school.” Akihiko tells her

“First year of high school.” Naoto speaks.

“Second year of high school.” Chie states.

“So, all before me, huh? I got mine in June of this year.”

“That just means you’re more ready for it.” Naoto tells her with a smile.

“Yeah. Wait, does Ken have a persona?”

“Yeah. He got it in elementary school.” Akihiko tells her.

“That young?!” Makoto screams out. After she comes to terms with the fact that literally everyone in her family besides her sister has a persona, she waves goodbye and walks home.

“Where have you been?” Sae asks her.

“Isn’t that Uncle Akihiko’s line?” Makoto quips.

“Don’t talk about him. Right now, all I’m focusing on is the Phantom Thieves. We’ve got intel that they’ll be infiltrating somewhere soon.”

Makoto makes sure she doesn’t visibly flinch. She knows the plan, but it still scares her. She still can’t believe Goro betrayed them. Betrayed her. His heart’s turned bitter. He’s done unforgivable things. And now he’s planning to kill Ren.

God, I should call Haru tonight... Makoto thought to herself. She needed her sweet, fluffy, girlfriend’s help to deal with everything tonight.

To: Haru Okumura

Makoto: Hello.

Haru: Hello.

Makoto: So you remember how I told you about those crazy adults that are pretty much my family?

Haru: Yes, I remember.

Makoto: They’re Persona users. All of them.

Haru: Wait, seriously?

Makoto: Yeah. I just took them into the metaverse and they summoned their personas easily.

Haru: How long have they had them?

Makoto: Since they were in high school.

Haru: Do any of them use axes?

Makoto: Yeah, Uncle Shinji.

Haru: I’ll have to “axe” him some questions.

Makoto: Haru... Please...

Haru: That was good, and you know it!

Makoto: Fine. I’ve got to go now, though. Got to get to sleep. Night, babe!

Haru: Night, Mako-chan!

Makoto stayed awake in her bed for a while. Her mind was flooded with information. They were going to infiltrate Sae’s palace on the 20th. Ren would be captured. She decided to go to the shrine tommorow. For this plan to work, the thieves would need all the help they could get.

Finally, the 20th arrived.

Joker, ever the showoff. Jumps out a stained glass window. Gets caught. Now the waiting.

...The waiting’s always the hardest part.

Makoto relaxes. Thinking that Ren had never let them down before. He won’t let them down this time.

...Right?

Makoto’s phone starts to ring.

[alchemist-shizun]

I Can See My Kingdom Now

Read on Ao3!

Chapter 2: False Hope

Word Count: 4,462

Characters: Virgil, Roman, Logan, Patton.

Pairing(s): Eventual Logicality and Prinxiety. (hints to Royality, they’re forced into an arranged marriage)

Warnings: Minor character death, slight description. Mention of fire.

Summary:  Or of how the author wrote almost 10k words so they had to split up the chapter, Virge is sad, Ro loses things like Cinderella, Lo is done with life and Pat just wants p e a c e for once.

A/N: Some surname explainings from my ao3 notes since they may sound pretty odd: -Moros is the son of the Goddess of the night, Nyx, and he's the personification of inevitable and impending doom. I liked the dark aura. -Bia means brutal strength, I was studying ancient greek tragedy when I found this word and it inspired me. -Pais means boy, son (and also slave but we're leaving that out) and it fit with Patton also because of the alliteration. -Dianoia is a word used in ancient greek by Democritus, Plato and Aristotle and is linked with reasoning and one's way of thinking. (It's actually more complex than that but yeah)

That beign said, hope you enjoy!

✾

❝ Remember me, though I have to say goodbye.

Remember me, don't let it make you cry.

For even if I'm far away I hold you in my heart.

I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart.❞

They did not hear it.

It was no kind of sound conceived for human perception. No kind of delicate melody to be appreciated. No kind of deafening cacophony to be maddened by.

None but the creatures of the sky would sense that crash like shattered glass, none but the creatures of the lakes, the rivers, the seas and the oceans would be troubled upon hearing the forming of an unfading damage in the poor boy's eyes and heart both.

They did not hear it, because when he started breaking down the queen was running toward her son to embrace him fiercely in her arms. They did not hear it because when he let out his first sob the king was tearing up, a hand covering his mouth, repeating “Roman” over and over until the name didn't make sense anymore.

Who the hell was even Roman?

They did not hear it because when he started lamenting under his breath, the crowd went loud with cheering. They did not hear it because the royalty began thanking everyone while he felt hopelessly still and incapable to move.

It was when he understood they were leaving that Virgil found a will to take action as Raegan- Roman? Paced toward the carriage, held endearingly by his parents, the sovereigns of Arcadia, about to disappear forever. An unbearable scene to watch.

They heard him, though, when their cheering was abruptly interrupted by the loud and heavy steps he took while running past the guards. They heard him when he pushed Logan and Patton aside to get to his best friend.

He was not going to leave him alone. They couldn't do that to him. They didn't have any right to rip away people from his life.

They heard him when he yelled as the guards held him still, because they, too, stopped moving in shock.

What he did not hear, though, was the complexion of Roman's feelings ever since he heard the news. First came disbelief, then he looked at Virgil and all he could see was pain. Then everything around him suddenly felt like family, something warm and loving making its way deep down in his guts for the first time in forever. He saw smiles and tears.

He was torn apart.

It felt wrong and right at the same time when he accepted his mother's affection, lacing his arms around her chest and burying his face on her upper sleeve as he felt his own eyes prickling with tears. He had little to no memory of his childhood, but surely her posture was familiar and he could almost see his father's demeanor in himself. It was his family, who came for him after seven years of believing he was on the unimportant side of the fairytale.

His thoughts got hazy when nostalgia already appeared in him, but excitement quickly took place as his parents held his hands and led him to the ostentatious carriage.

Wait. Discomfort set back on him.

He had just sat down and touched leather when noises other than the distant cheers filled up the air. Silence. Sudden pained protests, distressed sounds and afterwards the boys from Tinfea hopped on with sour expressions, as if they had just witnessed something they very much disliked.

Then Virgil broke free.

He lunged toward his best friend as Roman leaned out of the carriage; instinctively they both reached out for each other, waiting for their distance to shorten as much as it could. Roman had to at least wave him off properly.

Roman had so much on his mind he felt like his mind had gone blank, the only things he was certainly sure of were his surroundings, it was as if he had completely forgotten about the outside world and everything he had gone through up until that moment. He had no idea how he could have possibly forgotten how Virgil could have felt about the whole inconceivable situation. As a result, their last conversation ended up being fragmentary and disconnected.

« Virge- »

« Raeg- »

« I'm sorry, I'm- I don't- »

« What are- Where are you going? »

« Please, listen to me. »

« Get down from there! Just … come back- »

« Virgil. »

« It can't be you … »

« You're my best friend. I will- »

When Virgil thought he finally had a good grip on the other's wrist, a pissed off and impatient coachman decided it was the best moment for his horses to gallop away and ride back to the palace. Roman's hand abruptly slipped away from Virgil's, the last thing the village boy heard from the newly prince was a startled gasp, the last thing he saw was his eyes wide with melancholy.

Then he looked at his palm: the last thing that touched him. To his astonishment, he found Roman's bracelet, the one he had ever since he arrived at the village, it was a wide golden ring with an emerald attached to it and not even the goldsmith had any idea where it could have come from. It was the only material thing remaining of him, not the sight of his messy curls, or of his bright smile, nothing of his shiny persona.

Only gold and emerald. Like his hair and eyes glowing under the sun. He decided to hold onto it and keep it safe in his pocket. So he was still there somehow, huh?

Virgil had been silent for quite a while, all around him the world seemed to stop. None dared to speak up or approach him. None but his father. The man placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and that sole touch was enough for his son to abruptly turn around and hug him fiercely. He did not know what to tell him, he couldn't just lie blatantly to him and install false hope in him, creating an illusion that would just break his soul in a million pieces, like the ones he saw in Logan's spell.

What was worrying him more was how Virgil wasn't responding to any of his chaos of emotions, he was just gripping his father's clothes tight as a salvation anchor from the pit of darkness in his chest. His fists were trembling, nails piercing through the fabric. No talking, no crying desperately, no yelling in childish sorrow.

They had just taken away his best friend, maybe the truest friend he could have ever asked for.

His mother walked up to them, eyes wide and watery, empathetic, a hand pressing to her lips, the other on her husband's arm. The same perplexity instilled in her.

Flashes of the rest of his childhood played in Virgil's head, making it harder to repress the hiccups. He couldn't get anything of that back, he couldn't …

Then one last image of Roman flashed in his mind, the one moment in which they looked at each other for the last time, in which the tips of their fingers were about to slip away for god knows how long. When the carriage started to move away from the village. He finally remembered there was a line he didn't register until that moment. One last message from Roman. A pledge. One he could stick to.

“I will come back to see you. I'll be- I'll be back. I promise.”

And it hit him. Harder than a sky falling on him. More blistering than a thousand burning phoenixes.

First a sob, then the earliest tears started flowing, his cheeks wet with salt and pure sadness, an uncontrollable shaking possessed his body without any intention to cease.

His crying grew louder with the more images and thoughts that gathered in his head, oppressing with darkness all the glimmers where consolation could shine through.

Virgil's mother kneeled down to be at eye-level with him, concern and understanding in her expression. She was cautious with him, attentive touches successfully failed to trigger worse reactions from her son; she clasped one of their hands together firmly. I'm right here.

Virgil stepped an inch away from his father, where he actually wanted to bury his whole being into.

He was still sobbing, eyes previously tightly shut opened just an instance, his face towards his mother, a silent call for help. She wiped away the nearly dry tears. You're not alone. She pushed him against her and picked him up, his face in the crane of her neck, while her hand caressed his hair and back, slowly soothing the hiccuping boy.

The family made their way through the crowd, where other orphan kids stood, silently crying, all types of villagers let them pass with compassionate expressions. Their acquaintances kindly approached and they both offered sad smiles; they could not perceive how tough it would be for a young boy like Virgil to lose someone close to him so suddenly. One of the most precious things you own as a child, ripped away out of nowhere.

The Royal Guard decided their job was done and that they could finally march away from that gloomy uncomfortable silence.

Virgil built up the courage to lift his heavy head a little, his nose and eyes barely emerging, he watched the guards leave as he himself was being carried to his home. He watched them prepare to go back to the palace, the same palace that Roman was going to live in for the rest of his life, the same palace that Virgil could not ever even think of brushing.

He held onto the last sentence he heard from him, firmly believing its every word and letter both. He repeated it in his mind until Roman's voice got stuck in his head like a mantra.

Little did he know that years would pass and hopelessness would come after him, deeper with each day, the sinking feeling getting worse as the seconds ticked.

It was all a lie. An older and more mature Virgil would have known better than to waste his time having useless high hopes.

But present Virgil, a child nonetheless, does not know this. He's still a believer.

And he does not know that Roman will never come back.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

« How did it happen? » the ride back to the palace surely wasn't entirely silent.

It began with uneasiness set in every present person, coachman excluded since apparently he had better things to attend to than engage in a conversation full of emotion, questions and discoveries.

What had just happened with the villager kid left Roman staring down for a whole five minutes in a state of catalepsy, Patton tried his best to suppress the urge to pull him in a tight hug, which he seemed to need very much at the moment. But he was unreachable, tucked between his newly found parents.

He still gave him an empathetic look; Logan at his side too was far from comfortable, shifting in his place from time to time, he only looked out of the window to find pleasure in the beauty of nature once they had reached the charming forests Arcadia was famous for.

The queen, on the other hand, started soothing his son as soon as she sat down, drawing circles in his back with her open hand. Her motherly instincts knew better than to rub salt in the wound, she let him process what had just happened, giving him space and time to adjust to this new situation he apparently belonged to years earlier.

The king was patiently waiting for his son to speak up, to be the first to gain the courage to break the silence, it being to complain, be happy or whatever else was not important. There was time.

Time in which Roman started to feel better and finally looked up, to be met with Patton's shiny and encouraging eyes in front of him. He turned to glance at both his parents, a blank expression that only transpired confusion.

« Why? » was the only thing he let out in a murmur.

Taken aback, the queen battered her eyes for a moment before speaking. There was a slight clutching feeling in her chest. « What are you referring to, darling? »

« Myself. » his index was pointing himself. « Why is it me? How did you find me? Just ... what ... how did it happen? » there wasn't accusation in his words, they didn't sound bitter, more like curious, he was confused and wanted help to put some pieces back together.

And, of course, he asked the right people: Patton and Logan shared a worried look, what Roman was asking about was exactly the topic none dared to even cross their mind in Arcadia; surely he was their son and had all the right to know about the unfortunate episode, since it involved him in the first place, but he was still pretty young to be told such a cruel story.

Still, the king and queen had already decided it didn't matter, they were going to treat their only son as an equal about that particular topic, there was no need to sweeten the pill: he had to know the threats that he could have to face once he was going to be king. And they couldn't let out the possibility that something similar might happen again.

« Let me tell you a story, Roman. » the king was already interrupted by the boy, who had his hands up.

« Wait, is that- is that my real name? »

« Why yes, of course. Roman Bia. Do you not like it? »

« I do! It's just ... weird? » he made a face, disappointed by his choice of words « Everybody called me Raegan at the orphanage. » he admitted, voice lower with a veil of sadness over it.

His mother's expression softened as she put a hand on his shoulder « Would you like to keep that one instead? »

Well, that was a choice he had never considered probable, they even got Logan's attention with that suggestion: the mage had never known that was a thing royalty could do. Change someone's name? Unlikely, sure they had titles they preferred over their own names sometimes, but a completely different one was very rare. If not nonexistent.

Roman pondered the question for a while, going through everyone's face with glances, maybe looking for some kind of answer, which one was the right one? Which one did he like better? Which one fitted him? Did he want to stick to his fake past or his real present?

« I think ... I'll actually go with Roman? »

« Is that a question or an affirmation? » his father asked, clearly amused by the sight, his pensive son taking so seriously a simple query. Did he think they were testing him? Was he uncomfortable around them?

The way he responded, though, impressed the four of them all « I think it is only fair I keep using my real name, it's like going back to my true self, in a way, right? And it is fair to stick to what my parents have chosen for me. »

In awe, the only thing the King thought of doing was pulling his son in a tight hug, a smile quickly forming in his face.

« Very good thinking, Roman. » Logan finally dared to speak, then he leaned in to get a bit closer to him « But remember, what seems fair sometimes is not congruent with what you actually want for yourself, which is not to ignore. »

Roman battered his eyes, hardly understanding the point the seer was making, so Patton set in to intervene, pulling his friend back with a chuckle « He's just ten, Lo, I don't think he understands. » he then proceeded to show his brightest smile to the sovereigns « Please, carry on with your conversation. »

The queen offered another bright smile and they both thanked him.

« As much as Logan's argument was important as much as it was interesting, we'll have to postpone it for another day. » the King continued, receiving a bow of the head from Logan.

« Back to the story. You probably know that, as of now, our kingdom is the wealthiest one compared to the other four. » Roman nodded, remembering what he was taught in school.

« There's a common legend that affirms that Arcadia is a land blessed by the Ancient Gods, who swore upon protecting it from every harm. Sadly, it is definitely not the case. There has been one particular night, in which our peace was disrupted: a young man had shown up at our castle, somehow avoiding the nightly sentinels we always keep around, he started a fire at the Throne Room, black unnatural flames were surrounding every tangible object. The flames managed to reach our room and we had servants to escort us out. »

« They didn't let me keep you. » Roman's mother remembered, a wave of sadness filling her voice. « In my arms. They were afraid we would all get hurt in panic. Then the unimaginable happened. » the boy was staring wide-eyed at the woman, expectant. « That wizard had appeared out of nowhere between us, I remember vividly how he garroted the servant who was carrying you in a split second. I feared the worst, but the servants were faster and immediately got us out of there. We screamed for your name, struggled to get back to you. But they believed our safety was more important. » she shuddered remembering the metal wire surrounded by odd neon green flames that made the cerulean eyes of the mad man flicker with insanity. Even the dark messy hair had seemed to change colour with that light.

« Nonsense. » the king continued « How could they think a child, you, wasn't just as significant? Eventually the best of our kingdom's mages showed up to clean up after the mess that awful man left behind, even the sovereigns of Tinfea came running to our rescue and if I remember correctly they had brought these two boys too. » he gestured to Logan and Patton, who simply smiled and stated that they were only six and seven but remembered perfectly that night.

« We were devastated since we could not find you anywhere, but when we eventually gave up, believing you were lost forever and that that fiend might have taken away your life too, it seemed fate wanted to give us another chance. » Roman's father's eyes shifted to the mage « A very young Logan had a vision out of the blue. He saw the sorcerer taking you in his arms and disappearing with a smirk on his face. Then he saw you, dropped in the middle of a forest, in the dark, dirty and bruised from the fall. »

« I believe it was the one you came out of earlier. » Logan interrupted, remembering that weird sense of familiarity as they had stepped into the village. It had given him a headache.

« Precisely, but of course, being from Tinfea, he had no clue where you could have been. But the most important thing was that we were sure you were alive and out of that bad guy's way. You had barely learned to walk in the past few months ... »

« Also, » Roman's mother continued, a smile tugging at her lips. « that seven-year-old Logan tried his best to explain what he saw, but the poor little boy was far too young to endure visions' powers already, so- »

« Please refrain from mentioning that particular. »

The woman ignored him. « -he fainted after working himself too hard. »

Roman looked at the seer, who now had placed two fingers on his forehead to sustain his head and prevent anybody to directly look at his eyes. « Why would you be ashamed of passing out? »

« Because it underlines my incapacity at the time of grasping the concept of my abilities. »

And for the second time, the little one was left with little to no understanding of the boy's way of talking, just why did he have to sound like that? Was he trying to impress someone?

« Oh, he still does that. » Patton jokingly commented, the others' amused eyes fixated on him. « He still pushes his every limit and risks his well-being almost daily, he doesn't even listen to me! » he lightly shoved his friend with one hand.

Logan made a face that silently yelled can you not?

Between laughs and scolds about taking care of yourself and how the mage wasn't exactly a good example or role model, Roman started to feel more at home and pleased by the new company he was having.

The two young boys in front of him properly introduced themselves as Patton Pàis, prince of Tinfea, and Logan Diànoia, seer, mage in training and future advisor of the king of the same reign. They were only thirteen and fourteen and yet those titles made them sound so solemn already.

Roman began to participate in their conversations more often, he desired to get to know them and let them, too, know what he had been up to for the whole period of time their contact was lost; Roman talked about the orphanage, how it worked and how they had treated every kid kindly and with dedication, how all the children he met were different and yet they felt like part of the same family altogether, he talked about the school, the subjects, all the interesting things he found out with either learning or reading, all the little friends he made in the playground.

He talked about the forests, nature itself, about the woodworker of the village, he didn't even skip all the times he got in trouble for running around with ...

He talked about ...

When his face darkened with negative feelings he couldn't give a proper name to, both his parents reached up to him, one of them asking what was the matter: he only looked up at them after a second he used to weigh his words, then he spoke with a feeble voice, uncertainty wandering around in his mind and prickling his thoughts with indelicate thorns.

« When will I be able to meet Virgil again? » innocent and expectant eyes looked up at the king.

« Oh, honey ... I'm not sure. » Never.

He couldn't bear to see Roman's expression saddening. « But I'm certain it will happen very soon. »

Liar.

This time, the believer was the little prince. Because he didn't yet know of all the time that was going to get ripped out of his hands by his brand new duties as a young prince. A young prince that, though, hadn't had any kind of education as such, truly a loss if they didn't force him to do accelerated and additional lessons, that were all about simply existing, but you had to do it royally.

Roman was unaware of all that, he just stepped out of the carriage to be met with a chimerical landscape, so much that he felt like his vision was foggy with the dreamy aura that the place sent off; he let himself wander until he reached a gate of white material that sparkled when hit by the sun; it was guarded by a myriad of knights in gold and red armors, all too identical to tell one from the other.

In the distance, in front of the longest and most decorated garden he could have ever seen, he could spot the majestic construction of the Royal Palace of Arcadia, it stood imposing, its size seemed frightening even from a wide distance, but it looked also inviting. The boy was tempted to run as fast as he could, at the cost to feel his lungs burning, if it meant he could reach the place, his new home, in no time.

As he was slowly approaching the first statues around him, kindly encouraged by the Guards around him, his parents decided there was another pressing matter which felt far more important, at this point in our story.

It was the exact thing Logan had predicted, of course he had been right.

« The moment we'll step out you will be taken back to your home kingdom, we wanted to tell you something first, of major importance. As you may know, we had assured we would have promised our son to whoever found him, once he'd reached eighteen. »

« Sir, I … » Patton didn't know how to act, he perfectly knew what was coming, as his friend did, judging by the way they shared the same look.

« We wanted to inform you our Roman will be engaged to you, obviously. Patton, your parents had already agreed on the marriage, but we will very soon give an official statement to the public. »

« I am honored, but I don't think it will be necessary- »

« Please Patton, let us be honored. We're noticing how you're growing up to be a magnanimous person, let alone a future kind-hearted king. And if we could unite Arcadia and Tinfea, the occasion would be thoroughly accepted. You have done so much for us, we owe you. »

Patton was taken aback by the seriousness of their words and the fondness of the sovereigns. He felt like he was getting too much credit for the little he did.

« But you don't … have to … I mean- » he stuttered, trying to find the right words, but their gazes, fixated on him, made sure he almost felt the need to comply.

Why couldn't he just make decisions for himself? Why did he feel the need to crumble under the weight of the curse? He couldn't just possibly refuse and explain that the reason why was … some sort of dark magic.

He sighed almost imperceptibly so that he didn't sound like he was struggling inside. « It'll be my pleasure to accept your decision. » he theatrically offered, bowing his head a little.

« Then it's settled. » the sovereigns were smiling brightly as they gave their farewells to both of the boys.

Patton didn't notice Logan hitting the back of the seat with his head, a hand covering his eyes as if he was having a headache, because he himself was too busy trying to distract himself from the noise in his head which was simply his own voice screaming at him for being too stupid with his choices.

Then again, he wondered why he couldn't make decisions for himself.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[robot-unicorn-attack]

CHAPTER 01 - FLOWER

(written by @bebemoon)

… CHAPTER 01. 

“Oh- god, I think I’m going to be sick-” 

Aura had just barely managed to shoulder her way between the pair of stylists crowding her apartment before throwing herself into the tiny lavatory to be sick. 

“Pretty,” one- the blonde- muttered to the other, but not so quietly that Aura couldn’t hear. “If she throws up on that outfit, we’ll have to put her in something else- and we’re already behind schedule.”

“I don’t have a backup outfit,” said the other- a bony lavender-headed woman. “Her people told me not to put her in the black dress- it doesn’t work with the ‘pixie-whatever’ image.”   

The blonde sighed, irritated. 

Aura sat back against the wall and leaned her head back, waiting for the nausea to pass. The glistering, crystal bodysuit they had her fitted into was needling her skin, causing her some annoyance. She really didn’t feel up to clubbing at the moment, least of all as the fresh and always-lively “Flower”. 

Death first. 

“Are you just going to sit there?”  

Aura lifted her head from the wall. The two women were standing together outside the lavatory with their arms folded- waiting. 

If only she had managed to puke on the diamond catsuit. Those two would’ve been fired for sending her to the Demon in the wrong outfit (or naked), and she might’ve never seen them again.

“Get her up, Xera. Check the suit,” the blonde commanded. “We don’t have time for this !” 

Lavender-locks rolled her eyes but stepped into the lavatory all the same. She got Aura to her feet and gave the suit a good once-over, turning Aura all the way around twice to be sure. 

Satisfied, she gestured for the blonde to hand her the billowy, pale green gown that went over the silver suit. It really was just the thing a clubbing cyber sprite would wear- the gown’s bottom was hemmed with big, yellow blossoms and gossamer “wings” sprouted from the shoulder blades to stream after her like double trains. 

Aura loved the dress, but the prickly catsuit was for the birds.

The stylist, Xera, fastened Aura into the feather-light dress and stood back to get the full effect alongside her blonde companion. Her face almost instantly fell into a look of disappointment, then: “Get the holo-veil. She looks like a corpse in a fairy costume.” 

The blonde scurried off in search of the veil, and Xera stepped forward to adjust the fall of the dress. Quietly, she asked, “What’s with you anyway? Are you pregnant?”

Aura choked on a humourless laugh. Her overwracked nerves were causing her to lose things- sleep, meals, her mind possibly what with all the isolation she felt. Most of all, her patience was wearing thin- her tolerance level for having words tactlessly flung at her was dropping so rapidly she foresaw herself causing violence by the end of the night. 

“I’m due next month,” Aura said dryly- too dryly for someone wearing such dazzling clothes. “Don’t tell anyone. Could you help me with my shoes?”    

-

  “Flower”, haloed in fluttering holo-butterflies, blossomed into existence the exact moment Aura crossed the The Neon Demon’s threshold in a would-be Cinderella moment were it not for J.J., her totally-tatted babysitter, towing her along in his wake as he cut a swath through the enormous, pink-lit crowd of club-goers. 

She felt a few people touch her shoulder- perhaps to get her attention- but J.J. was focused on ushering her to the back of the club where a raised dais was roped-off for the exclusive use of RURs and their entourages. He didn’t even bother bringing Aura up the steps- he simply lifted her up onto the dais by the waist and shouted over the throbbing electro-music that he had to “piss” before disappearing back into the chaos of glowing bodies. 

Aura was already starting to feel light-headed as she took in her surroundings. The dias was littered with people- not all of them racers, but Aura was the only one who was on her own. Luckily, though, she didn’t see either of her teammates- Supernova or Sunbeam. Playing court jester to the Queen and Princess of Sky World would’ve been far too much for her already-frayed nerves. 

As she stood unsure of what to do with herself other than look blithe and “Flower-like” for anyone watching her, someone on the dais said her name- her real name- in a sultry tone. 

“Aura.” A tall figure with glowing eyes slipped between a pair of industry suits and was making her way over.  

“Sol?” Suddenly, Aura was transported to a dimly-lit discotheque a few days before her very first race.  

The other girl grinned devilishly and swept an errant lock of long, dark hair over her bare shoulder- the other was bristling with spikes. “Been a while,” she sang low on a golden wink. “You’re finally back.”

Aura released a laugh that she hoped sounded genuine instead of manic, like she felt. “God, right?” she expelled, as she briefly embraced her old friend. “Finally. We need to catch up.”

Sol’s eyes seemed to flicker like little flames as her grin deepened. She had yet to drop her hand from Aura’s waist. “I’d really like that.”  

Aura was suddenly acutely aware of the attention she and Sol were garnering. Really, racers from different agencies were discouraged from socialising publicly with one another. RUR fans liked drama and rivalries, not warmth and friendships. Amicableness between racers was not good for business.    

Across the dais, a suit was wildly gesturing to get Sol’s attention. When she finally decided to notice him, she rolled her molten eyes. “I told him I was coming over here to try to make you cry,” she whispered. “I’ll just tell him you worked some of your fairy magic on me, and now I’m nice.” She turned and jabbed her taloned fingers into her cheeks to make dimples at the man, who dropped his arms and gave her a withering look back. 

“Your fans would have my head,” Aura replied and pinched the other girls arm. 

“You’re right, I’m much happier being hated. I’ll see you later, Flower,” she said, and pointed a gold-tipped finger at Aura. “This time, on Lava turf.” 

The trademark wicked grin returned briefly just before she spun around and headed back to the other end of the dais.

At that moment, towards the front of the Demon, people were pressing together at the entrance, and Aura’s immediate thought was that it was one of her teammates causing a commotion with their arrival. So, she decided to retreat to a curved sofa area that was semi-obscured behind some crystally curtains that bi-sected the dais. There, a table was set with pyramids of glowing drinks, and though it was tempting, Aura imagined if J.J. caught her, she wouldn’t hear the end of it all night. Not worth it. 

She set herself at one of the “c”-shaped sofas in a pool of blue lighting, and while she was in the middle of wondering just how long it takes to piss, a man appeared with two glasses in one hand. A suit, by the looks of him, but not anyone from RISE. 

The man, slick-looking but clearly wrecked, propped his elbow on the back of the sofa Aura was occupying only to have it slide off. He stumbled backwards and sloshed some of the glowing alcohol on his- where were his shoes? 

He blinked, opened his mouth- closed it. 

“Er-” Aura began, but he cut her off with something she translated as vulgar. 

The suit was getting uncomfortably close, and Aura was quickly trying to figure how much trouble she would get in for kicking some industry lush in the chest- but before she could do anything, a pale hand closed over the man’s shoulder, pulling him aside. 

Snow- the Snow, appeared from behind the guy wearing a glimmering, diamond-encrusted headdress and took hold of his collar with two fingers as if it were a tissue containing a dead spider. 

She said, “Hey, Aindrew. How’s your wife?” 

The man- Aindrew- rolled his eyes and snorted, but didn’t reply otherwise. 

Snow nodded knowingly- then glanced over at Aura. 

Aura couldn’t have made up a wilder scenario in her dreams. Even through the holo-veil, she was sure that Snow could tell her eyes were actually the size of saucers. 

The other girl turned away, and though Aura couldn’t hear well over the music, she seemed to be delivering some harsh words to the suit whose eyes drifted up to the weighty headpiece. He swallowed and put up his hands. 

Snow released Aindrew’s collar, and he almost tripped over himself to get away from her. And once he was clear from their sights, Snow carefully lowered herself onto the sofa beside Aura. 

“Your bodyguard goes on break and the wolves descend,” she said, a single silvery eyebrow lifted- almost chidingly.   

Aura was almost too gobsmacked to make words- Aura-words or Flower-words. She just replied, “Thank you for that.” 

Snow laughed softly, toying with the veritable chandelier of diamonds cascading from her ear. “Of course.” She offered her heavily-jeweled hand. “Hi there, I’m-” 

“Snow- !” Aura burst. “Oh my god, I know. I’m a huge fan of yours.” 

“‘Marivana’, I was going to say- but thank you,” she replied, dropping her hand, and then cast a look over her shoulder at the end of the dais. “Do you know Nyx well?” 

Aura blinked. She had been wondering if she should tell Snow- Marivana about the little S.C. figurine she had on her nightstand when she first started out in the industry- just to prove her huge fan status. She hadn’t been expecting a question about Nyx. 

“We’ve spoken before,” Aura replied, following the other girl’s diamond gaze to a tall figure posing for a photo. “Danced, also, but that was years ago.” 

“I see...” Marivana turned her attention back to Aura. “I’m sorry, your name has slipped my mind.” 

Made sense- why would someone like the Snow remember her name. “Flower.” 

“No, I-” Marivana paused to laugh. “I know your nickname. I meant your actual name.” 

“Oh- Aura. Aura Philyra.” 

A woman with an earpiece came over with a flute of something icy blue and gave it to Marivana before walking off again. Marivana took a dainty sip and asked, “And where are you from?” 

“Ice World.” 

This seemed to surprise the other girl- her eyebrows shot up. “Really?” she said, a note of incredulousness in her tone. “You don’t strike me as someone from Ice World.”

Aura felt like an idiot, but there was no way she was telling her long-time idol that she was from some unknown moon. “Oh. No?” 

“No. I buy it as much as I buy the little fairy story your management made up for you.” 

“Ah, well. I’m actually embarrassed now,” Aura murmured. She fought the inclination to drop her forehead onto the table in front of them.  

Marivana shook her blonde head, sending her dazzling earrings into action. “Don’t be. Every racer has a gimmick.” 

“Yeah, but mine is-” Aura searched for a word. “-stupider than most. But at least the clothes are pretty.” 

Marivana’s eyes flitted over Aura’s clothes and she took another sip of her drink before remarking, “They certainly are.” 

Is she- Aura could feel her cheeks reddening. -wait, wait, wait...no. She’s being nice because she feels sorry for the Sky World halfwit who almost got puked on by a married, shoeless man. 

“So, you’ll be racing this week?” Marivana went on.  

Aura bit back a knee-jerk “Aura” comment along the lines of: “Yes, and I want to die.” Instead, she said, “Yes. I can’t stop trembling. Everyone keeps telling me how important this race is- like I need to be told.” 

Oops, that was too much… 

Marivana’s lips twitched upwards into a small, sympathetic smile. She placed the empty flute on the table and said, “Give me your hand.” 

Aura instantly obliged, and watched, transfixed, as Marivana ran her middlemost finger gingerly over the centre of her palm, before wrapping her pale, shimmery fingers completely around her hand. 

All she could really think was that Marivana’s hands were much warmer than she had expected them to be.

“Powdered chalk,” the blonde said, looking as if she was trying very hard to stifle a smile. “For your nerves. You’ll want a light coat of it over your hands, to keep them from getting clammy while holding onto your reins-”

Just then, J.J. appeared, evidently done pissing. He cast the crystal curtains aside and divided a bewildered look between the two girls who were still holding hands.

“What-” 

But Marivana cut him off before he could say anything more. “I’ll see you soon, Aura. I’m sure,” she said, and only then did she let go of Aura’s hand. 

Completely ignoring J.J., who had to move to avoid being hit with the headdress, Marivana stood and walked back through the tinkling crystals. 

J.J. dropped himself across from Aura and spread his hands, palms up, over the table. “And what were you two talking about?” he asked. “You know Korvan doesn’t like you girls talking to racers from other agencies.” 

Aura folded her arms and sat back. “How was your piss? Took a while. Maybe you should see a physician.” 

“Okay, whatever,” he sighed and ran his hands over his bald head. “I don’t even care enough to report it.” 

“Aw,” she crooned, lifting her shoulders adorably the way Flower would.  

Given that she had almost certainly been hit on by her long-time idol, Aura was starting to feel much better about the evening- her nerves about the upcoming race were settling somewhat... 

However, in the name of balance, Supernova and her retinue passed by on the other side of the crystal curtains a few minutes later, and Supernova actually paused to acknowledge Aura.

And, when she did, Aura spit sparkling water all over the front of her clothes.