#that led me to hate myself

[loveerran]

While attending church with @nerdygaymormon recently, we sang the sacrament hymn: While of These Emblems We Partake.

The first stanza says: "While of these emblems we partake, In Jesus' name and for his sake, Let us remember and be sure, Our hearts and hands are clean and pure."

The sacrament is often a place and time for me to reflect, a time to let the Spirit work within me to inspire change, to remember where I have fallen short of who I want to be and to ponder how I can improve.

During the hymn, I thought of a number of things I needed to improve and change in my life to have a more 'pure heart and cleaner hands'.

And then it occurred to me that sitting in sacrament meeting in a dress hadn't been on the list of things I needed to change.

I continue to find no condemnation from God when it comes to being transgender or presenting as my authentic self.

[sparklingchim]

[snackugaki]

big boy pizza, leo edition

[bougiebutchbitch]

every time I see a take that flattens Ed's character into this boring perfect angel who can do no wrong and has 0 agency because literally every choice he makes is determined by the actions of white men, I add another sentence to my stories where he's a sympathetic, complex and multifaceted trauma victim - but also an abuser who made terrible mistakes of his own volition, who seriously hurt people he cares about and left them traumatised, who feels crushed beneath the terrifying hypermasculine persona he built for himself (which he is still figuring out how to escape/incorporate into his new self/define himself around). A desperate, affection-starved, suicidal man who struggles hugely with his mental health, who deserves a loving support system (just not from his victims unless they want to be a part of it), who can grow and change and do better, who can work on himself and explore himself and find love and happiness.

but y'know, maybe I'm the one who 'hates his character' lmaoooo

[lvnacams]

BitB is like someone saying fuck you over and over and over again straight to your face while you are sobbing and physically cringing curled up into a ball absolutely hysterical

[thediktatortot]

I genuinely hate generational politics. We should be knocking down billionaire's doors not making fun of how each other dresses, what kind of slang each other uses or how cringy each other are.

Like we all live in our societies as they are and that means we adapt to the things around us and things are hard right now. No, not all millennials are bad parents, not all boomers are rude Karen's, not all gen x are maga Republicans and no not all gen alpha are stupid iPad babies.

Like, yes those mean stereotypes exist for a reason but the reason is we have bad infrastructure in literally every possible category of living.

Instead of getting mad at the parent who doesn't know how to deal with their child lets address how much people have to work now in order to keep up with bills and thus don't have the ability to spend more time with their kids, let alone learn how to care for them.

Do you all realize how low the baseline of mental health is on an average? Pretty low. Therapy is still a pretty taboo topic for most people and is only growing worse with how often shootings happen now.

Gen z and gen alpha get blamed for being stupid or lazy but like- I get it??? If I hadn't had the short freedom from technology in the 90s and early 2000s I probably also would be much worse in school and socially. But that's not their fault and also we are living through war times and have literally no where to socialize.

Our world is designed to do everything it's doing and to hurt and prod and poke from everyone it's poking at and it's ridiculous to fall into the trap of blaming someone ahead of us in the race when we all know the real culprit.

It's not the other poor people or the other uneducated or the other mentality Ill or- it's the fucking wealthy. It always has been. For fucking time immortal it has always been the wealthy.

It's class politics that the average people need to focus on. Age politics is how they get us to fight each other instead.

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

[a-shadowedvales]

when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.

when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.

[myrkkymato]

Yeah, it's Sevika time again

Acrylics are fun but right now they make me want to pick a fight with god or something. I'm so sorry for the quality of these.

[xray-vex]

HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

[miazeklos]

As it turns out, there are still few things that make me as happy as posting a fic/chapter hour(s) past midnight, switching off my laptop and basking in the glow of my silly little creation the next morning at work. <3 I will not be depriving myself of it again.

[blujayonthewing]

desire to roleplay authentically when my character has traits that can come across as difficult or frustrating vs irl intense fear and terror of ever being difficult or frustrating FIGHT

[exhaustedwerewolf]

hr guy was screaming crying throwing up when I told him I wouldn’t be at the evening part of the xmas social because the date changed and I have a life outside of work and now he sends round the details for the unavoidable lunch part and despite me giving him my dietary requirements well in advance on his request there is simply nothing I can eat. like even ditching the vegetarianism I am allergic to everything on this menu.

[hella1975]

choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

[tanzderwhat]

as i panic and piss my pants out of absolute fear for my german class this upcoming semester, i cannot help remembering that the reason i have put myself through all of this is that when i was 11 i thought willemijn verkaik was pretty and thus decided to fixate on european musical theatre for the rest of my life