#that not everything is about buck+eddie all the time lol

[tenisperfection]

I finally caught up with the last two episodes of 911 amidst traveling and uh, what are you all worried about again?!?

[wikiangela]

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[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH STILL FREAKING OUT OH MY GOSH

Y'all I'm losing it

HUAAAGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH FIRST DATE

LOL YEAH I'M TENSE TOO

AUGUHAH HE'S ADMITTING IT FIRST DATE WITH A MAN OHHHH MY GOSH I'M NOT OKAY LOL

THIS BETTER BE AN ACTUAL DATE BC THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD

SPFIENAIMCLS IT'S A GROUP DATE

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH EDDIE'S HEREEEEE

OR IS IT ON ACCIDENT MAYBE O.O

IS HE GONNA THINK THEY'RE JUST THERE AS BUDDIES O.O (BUDDIE LOL)

OR IS HE GONNA THINK HE WAS BI THIS WHOLE TIME BUT BUCK WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW

Oh my gosh I'm freaking out

I'm not okay

What the heck

(edit starts here)

Ope a guy with his hand

OPE OH GOSH

That's not good o.o

Not really matching your message sir xD

Oh goshh o.o 😳😬

OH GOSH BUCK

Me when I saw the promo again a little while later: OH MY GOSH HOW DID I FORGET THAT BIT

Gosh. Wow

(end of edit)

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm not okay

I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!! OH MY GOSH. This is the anti feeling to last night when I watched tgd and the end killed me for an entirely different reason THE GAYS ARE WINNNINGGGGGG!!!! I'm not okay. Anyway IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Genuinely though all the plots throughout were really good and there were a TON of good moments. Plus the crossover with The Bachelor was GREAT lol. I need to go back and watch those first two minutes but I will update the post slfjdfhs. Now, I'm going to make a quick celebration post and maybe rewatch that clip if possible, and then I'll be back because I can't possibly put off this review xD. Oh my gosh I'm having so many thoughts.

OKAY AAHHH HI ME FROM THE NEXT DAY I was literally freaking out so much (and still am) that I couldn't do it and I kept procrastinating and then I fell asleep lol xD. I have continued to procrastinate (and I had things to do) but!! Here I am :)).

First though, I'm going to go back to the promo bit and add the second half because apparently I completely forgot about it, and I have since watched it a couple of times xD.

Okay!! Now, let's talk about some other bits of the episode xdd.

The Bachelor crossover was so fun!!! I've never seen The Bachelor lol but it was a great story, great call xD. And everyone freaking out SLFKGHDKS!! Maddie and Josh fighting over the call to Chimney giving them spoilers to Eddie siccing the girls on Buck to Bobby and Hen going 👁️👄👁️. And that poor girl xdd. Also the "Do I have to?" "I wouldn't" just killed me xDD. Glad she's okay though :)). Sucks she'll never have her chance lol. But hey, she got to talk to him :)!! Wild xD. Anyway, I think was a super fun thing to throw in there for the 100th episode :DD. It's also interesting to see a reality show crossover with a fiction show xD. Had a fun time with it!!

Maddie and Chim!! They were so funny at the beginning xD. Her sending the 118 was wild lol. Also I loved her face to him later when he was talking about how cool Tommy was right after Buck was complaining about him (😏😏) xDD. They're idiots your honor lol <33. Anyway, Chimney slayed on the calls today 🥰. Especially figuring out the head trauma for that poor woman! Nice job my guy :)). Also, I didn't notice it until I saw subtitles later but "I'm your basketball beard" AUGHWUOGIH!!!! XDD SLFJDGLKDS HE'S SO WILD FOR THAT O.O. Anyway he did genuinely slay, loved him supporting Buck lol :)). I'm sure there was some brother in law bonding in there xD. Maddie slayed on calls too!! I really loved her conversations with Buck though :D :)). The brunch one was sweet and kind of silly, plus the "Is it circled with a heart?" line was SO GOOD LOL SLFJDHS XDD. Idiot <33 (Buck more than anything but it's all affectionate I promise). Also I really loved Maddie's reaction to Buck talking about maybe accidentally purposefully injuring Eddie. It completely makes sense for her character and I'm really glad it was in there, it added some great depth <33. Though the storyline itself has depth!! Especially after the ending lol. Anyway, poor Maddie with her story about the Sarah's :(( xd. That sucks :'(. I do kind of know how it is (not quiiite as close) and it really can be awful xd. Dyeing your hair is a wild step xD. Plus SLFKGJDS "I would've changed both names" oh my gosh XDDD 💀. Also nice on her for calling Buck out for acting like a teenage girl lol. Anyway, love her, and Chimney <33.

Hen and Ravi!! We didn't see much of either of them this episode but they were great :DD. Poor Ravi xD. Bro had no clue what was going on with anything ever lol. He didn't even know who Tommy was! After all the drama he caused!! Poor guy's out of the loop (well for the drama he would cause, is what I meant) lol. They both slayed this episode though :DD!! Hen was great on the house invasion call and the Bachelor call :)). Love them <333.

Bobby, Athena, and Harry!! AYYY Harry :DD!! Welcome back man 🥰. Seeing him greet Athena and Bobby was so nice :'D. It's nice to have him back :')). Sucks to have a change in actors (Marcanthonee will be missed!!) but I'm sure he's gonna be great :)). Elijah, I believe his name is? Welcome aboard dude :DD! Anyway, his return isn't under the best of circumstances o.o. Love Bobby knowing, or being suspicious yk, and called Michael (they are my besties your honor 🥰🥰, I love them <33). Also really glad he told Athena immediately and didn't turn to hide it or anything 😬 :)). Anyway, glad he was so supportive <33. That whole thing was wild though o.o 😬😬😳. It really sucks so much that that happened :((. Harry didn't deserve that, and he was totally valid in his anger and wanting to respond. I don't think he should've beaten the guy up, but I get it. It sucks that he was to be a representative but that's how it is :'((. Hopefully it'll change one day. Also his conversation with Athena about it all and whether she cares more about being a cop or his mom OOUFGH O.O. That bit hit HARD 😬😭. He did have a bit of a point, but I'm glad he apologized <33. And that Athena was more understanding the second time. On a lighter note, her waking up him by pouring a bucket of water on him was amazing LOL xD. Anyway, seeing his reaction to the video hurt so much :((( 😭😭😭💔. It really is awful to see yourself angry. I only tend it see it in writing and it still sucks and is hard xdd. But HALLELUJAH YAYY he's not being charged, at least with prison time that is :')). And he's sticking around :DD!! I'm sure it'll be difficult with Athena monitoring his community service and such but I think it'll be really fun storyline wise :)). Also Athena having to tell that mom that she shot her son 😭😭😭💔💔🥺🥺. That was so awful, I'm so sorry honey <33? And that poor lady 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔. Her acting was amazing <333. It's such an awful situation and I hope she manages to be as okay as she can be :'((. Pooe guy <33 he seemed great :'( :'). Anyway, love them all (the three I said lol) <33 🥰🥰.

It's time.

Well time to talk about the rest of it besides that one part of the ending lol.

Buck and Eddie, and Tommy!! BROOK this was so wild o.o xD. The jealousy was painful 😭, but I also kinda loved it, it was hilarious xD. It really sucks that Buck was feeling left out, and I do think they were kind of leaving him out, but I don't think it was at all intentional. Eddie invited him to basketball several times, and the other things were things he and Tommy already had plans for. He even seemed excited when he thought Buck was going to come to the fight with them (which that bit HURT by the way lol 💀)!! He did seem kinda shady asking Buck to watch Chris but I'm sure it was an accident xDD. He's just an idiot your honor lol <33. I do wish he was a little more obvious about not blaming Buck when he got injured, but like, he was in a whole lot of pain with a possibly broken ankle xD. It's understandable lol and I don't blame him. I also don't think Tommy was trying to exclude Buck! H was happy to see Buck throughout the episode, he gave him a tour, planned to give him flying lessons!! It was just a really unfortunate situation and Buck wasn't communicating (as he admitted at the end lol). Poor Buck though through all of it 😭😭💔🥺. I know it was kind of on him for not communicating but it just sucks being left out :((, I totally get it. You don't wanna say anything and be told you're overreacting or for people to think it's weird, and you don't wanna be possessive or anything, but it sucks and you miss them :((. I know how it feels xD xd. Still, I'm really glad he was getting aware of it, and he listened to the help from Maddie lol <3.

I think the conversation at the end was a really good way of wrapping it all up. Seeing everyone's side (Eddie's opinion given by Tommy but honestly he wasn't really as involved in the problem lol), and having everyone apologize. Also then them hyping each other up :')). I do find it interesting to see and outside perspective to the 118! We're so used to the family that is the 118 and the 126 that we don't really think about the fact that it's probably not like that for most people xdd. It wasn't even really like that when Tommy was there. And it makes sense for him to be jealous over it!! It's completely understandable and a really cool perspective to see :)). Although I will agree with Buck lol, he's pretty cool on his own lol.

Now, seeing as I was freaking out and forgot half the previous lines, I'm going to say what I thought/my reactions to a few specific lines and everything as it started to ramp up xD.

By the way, I have watched this scene (or at least parts of it) like. 20 times now. And some of it I'm still trying to remember as I freak out once again right now lol xD. So keep that in mind lol.

When they were talking about the mouths static was hilarious xD. In all fairness, it wasn't great lol.

And then the Muay Thai (I think that's how it's spelled?), the after flying lessons bit and "Not in the same day"??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! That's where I started to really get stressed and suspicious and in shock xDD. I was like um. what was that. XD.

And then. Buck admitting he was trying to get TOMMY'S attention o.o. I genuinely wasn't expecting it but looking back on the episode it all makes sense yk o.o. Honestly I don't think even Buck really realized that was it until during that conversation, especially given his tone shift. And the Tommy's face afterward 😭. Bro is surprised xD. And I'm going to be completely honest, I thought Buck was saying "I didn't mean my best friend" there and not "I did maim best friend" until like the tenth time I watched it o.o xDD. The first one was wild, a self denial of Buddie because he's oblivious xDD. The second one makes more sense but is equally as wild o.o lol. He's realizing that just before he says it xD. And maim is dramatic but he did injure Eddie 😬🥺. Anyway, the next bit.

You know.

The moment.

"My sister says there's better ways to get someone's atten-" AND HE K I S S E D HIM!!!!! WHEN. I. TELL. YOU. I. LOST. MY. MINDDDD!!!!

It was so wild oh my gosh. You can look at my liveblog for more freaking out about that xD (and probably later in this post lol. And also in anything I've reblogged about it xD). I can still barely believe it's real. That it happened xd. I realized a little while ago that I have no idea what I'd do if Buddie actually got together, and I felt some of that feeling here. We thought for SO LONG,l we wouldn't have it, had kind of lost hope, and then BOOM!!!! I know I had hope for this episode but it wasn't SERIOUS, not really!! Hope but "I expect it.not to happen, no matter how hard I hope xdd". And we may not have gotten Buddie BUT WE DID GET BISEXUAL BUCK!!!!!!! I'm genuinely still so happy about that oh my gosh. I meant to make a post earlier but I was grinning in the hallway at school xD.

Now, AFTER THE KISS WAS SO WILD TOO AAAAHHHHHH.

OKAY I'm back for a third time lol, later in the day xD. Had a lot to do but now I'm here!

Anyway AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I barely even registered the sus stuff they were saying beforehand because I was in such shock, and the same goes for afterwards xD. I was just SCREEEAMING!!

But!! Some of these being my thoughts having watched it 20 times, and some of them being what I thought at the time, THE MOUTH STATIC COMMENT 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺 XD. Also we love Tommy asking if it was okay 🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰 :'). Anyway, it's the way Buck is just absolutely speechless. The only thing he has is the mouth static comment and that's it xD. All he had laid out lol. It's so cute to see him flustered and speechless :')). Also the fact that some of it comes from this revelation he just had (not just being a bi disaster, but discovering he's a bi disaster) is so good <333. And I just- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HE'S F R E E!!! AT 8 ON SATURDAY SURE BUT HE'S F R E E 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰🥰😎!!! ACCIDENTAL SUNGLASSES BUT WE'RE KEEPING IT. LIKE THE WAY HE SAID IT AUGOAUHUGIH HE. IS FREE!!

I'm so not okay over that <33

Anyway I love that Tommy does all the talking lol, he knows Buck can't and is short circuiting but he still has a conversation with him xD :).

And just AAAAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE!! IT'S SATURDAY AT 8 BRO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AUUUUAGHHHHHH!!

I mean I know you all do but you know lol.

Also Tommy telling Buck to call Eddie xD. Yeeeah, honestly seems like a good time to call and talk to him if he's on pain pills lol. Buck might have trouble speaking though, given he's still having a queer crisis xD. Kinda crisis, kinda discovery. Skipped some of that stage lol.

Buck's final look of the episode just destroys me :')). He's so baffled and happy your honor <33.

Now here's someone I'll say that I've been thinking of about the whole thing. Buck's tone changed, his vibe changed, something in his eyes changed, during that scene. Around the flying lessons bit xD. You can tell. I think he felt it, he just wasn't exactly sure what it was. And whatever he thought it was was probably terrifying (assuming he guessed correctly or knew lol). I think, if Tommy hadn't done something, he would've just let it go, let the moment pass. And, especially if he's done the same thing before, I think he would've pushed it away enough that he stopped thinking about it. I don't know if he has ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But it makes me think of a Buck who had Moments, who Wondered, and then dismissed them immediately because there was no way, he Couldn't. Or it was something he couldn't quite place. So he left it alone and forgot about it.

Idk. All I know is I don't think he would've made a move if Tommy hadn't lol, even if he was feeling the vibes xD.

Anyway, I've been genuinely so ill over all of this for literal days now. It's just past midnight on Friday for me lol. I'm just going so insane over it.

Today a question of the day in one of my classes was "What's a moment from tv/movies/musicals that impacted you?", you know something wild or epic or emotional or whatever, that impacted you. And, though it's far from the first time it's happened to me, I said this. Buck realizing he was bisexual. I don't think some people realize (though surely most of us on Tumblr do): This is a masculine, main character (honestly the main character) on an extremely popular mainstream television show, that after 7 seasons realized he was bisexual, and he's not a trope. It is profoundly impactful. Still definitely give credit where it's due to shows that have been doing it since the beginning (Lone Star, for example), but this is huge. They finally CAN do it. And I'm so happy for them, and proud of Buck :')).

Also quick note I just love how much Oliver is committed to and knows his character. The fact that he withdrew media wise because he agreed with us?? Wild. But he genuinely loves Buck so much, probably more than any of us, and he fights so hard to do him right <33. I'm so proud of, but more importantly, happy for him :')). He's been waiting so long for this and he totally deserves it, he absolutely slayed it <33. His acting was AMAZING, as always. I mean it's always great but this was just top both xD :'D. Anyway, thank you Oliver <3.

And thank you to everyone else on the show who worked to make this happen!!! And everyone in the fandom who fought for this!

I still genuinely can't believe it xd. It's just- amazing <3.

Also, quick think on Buddie: I do still want Buddie long-term. But I think Buck and Tommy could be cute, and no matter what I'm just excited to see where it goes for now :)). I actually kind of think it's better that Buck doesn't date Eddie first, for him and for us (a likelihood of them staying together). He needs to discover/explore/understand this new part of himself, and that might require branching out a bit :). Plus it's just good for him to get to be out there and live how he wants to, not worrying about endgame right now. I think Buddie will happen one day, but for now I am absolutely happy with this <333. I think it's gonna be great, and I am so excited :D.

One last scream:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It was sooo good, and not just The Moment. All the calls were cool and interesting, including the crossover, which was fun. Everyone's individual storylines were good, and even through a lot of silly moments, packed and stuffed with emotion :'). Plus all the little throwbacks to episode 1, and the series in general, were great and really awesome :'DD. Also, just thinking about the impact of the kiss being in the 100th episode <33. Wow. So insane (me) <33. Anyway, Buck and Tommy was wild but they were cute, I'm glad Buck and Eddie are doing better. I'm also glad everything got worked out between Athena and Harry <33. The situation sucks but I think we made the best out of it :')). I loved the Buck and Maddie interactions and moments this episode, they were great <33. I wish we got a few more team moments, or full family moments, for the 100th episode, but that's a small thing :) ❤️. I still THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and I thought it was just absolutely amazing.

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was super great. There were a bunch of fun storylines, which I don't want to forget about in light of the last scene. I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 4: Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered

It was so amazing. I'm so excited but so nervous for the next episode! I'm sure it'll work out fine but it looks wild. I'll be back here next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me

See you next week!!

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

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[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, time to write the blue and yellow meta: deranged version. Shoutout to @dangerpronebuddie for the thoughts that are helping me in this particular delusion (This is gonna have some copy/paste from the other one just for the context to be all in one post, but stay with me anyway if you read that one already I promise this one has more stuff)

Okay, so I have been going insane trying to figure out what the blue and yellow means.

And now I have a theory. So for this one, I'm gonna use the fact that they are using the sun on a wall and that they completed the blue and green with Buck and Eddie at the gym scene with the bottle and the towel to assume I am right, and they complete these things with other elements of the scene, wall, decoration, everything.

Okay, so, when tracking the blue and green thing so I could make this post, I kept wondering why there aren't a lot of Henren examples of it, this season has given us a few more scenes, but I'm pretty sure there are only these 2 before season 7. But like, I didn't think much of it even though I didn't understand why.

But Anna, I thought this was about the blue and yellow, why you talking about the blue and green? Well, I think the blue and yellow is the blue and green for queer couples. Stay with me, I promise I have enough proof to create a reasonable doubt lol.

Okay, so, the other day I saw a henren edit that had their first date and I already had the yellow behind Eddie in my mind and was like, that's interesting, their first date is blue and yellow.

Then, someone is making a Karen in every episode series, and I saw a set of her in yellow and was like "wait, I need to stop looking for answers in the straight couples, buddie is a queer couple, I need to see if this is a pattern that has already been established for the other queer couple, do henren have different rules?" and yes, I think they do.

Going back to the blue and green thing for a second, the easiest couple to track the blue and green is madney. Every couple has worn blue and green, but they have been blue and green since their first scene. And while they do wear blue and green for inconsequential scenes, they are in blue and green for things like getting back together in season 6, finding out Jee is a girl, the date after Doug, the hospital after Doug, the whole Boston episode is blue and green in nature, I talk about that in more detail in my blue and green applied to buddie meta if you're interested.

So, assuming they are establishing the blue and yellow with henren in the same way they do the blue and green with madney, blue and yellow in important henren scenes sounded like a nice bet since the blue and yellow is present on their first date, right? And the same way Boston is inherently blue and green, tomorrow is very blue and yellow.

But you don't really think I'm telling you I established a pattern with only one episode, right? Using other elements of the scene, considering the way they are using the sun a lot with buddie, I have quite a few examples, going back down to when they accept that the IVF didn't work and that they'll be okay. I also really like the way the club in fomo is lit in blue and yellow. (I'm trying to stay within the image limit so, tiny images, sorry lol)

But Anna, you are using the wall a lot. Yes, I am using the wall a lot. Why am I using the wall a lot? You know how madney is the guide for the blue and green? Their house is blue and green. Like decorations and stuff. Mostly the kitchen, but still. The detailing there, the pans, the blue chairs, the blue couch. Even Jee's room is greenish and blueish.

So, henren's house being yellow works, I think. Another point towards that is the way that Buck's bi awakening episode is blue and yellow.

So, I'm gonna be insane and say the blue and yellow thing is the blue and green thing but queer.

Here's where I'm diverging from the first post I made, why? Well, considering my main point of reference was henren and the earliest conclusive example I could find was in 3x04 when they are talking about the IVF, I didn't look in season 2.

But thanks to Maggie (💜) I went to look in Buck, Actually. To check Thomas and Mitchell.

We have the blue and yellow shirt, the blue and yellow lighting, the blue cake with the shirt. They also use the sun in their happy contemplating life moments.

Unrelated but I love the blue and green thing too much not to point this out and I just noticed it lol they have a lot of blue and green details too, the car, the driveway, the transition from a green cake to a blue cake, I just love that.

But, since the blue and yellow exists in the couple that is supposed to show Buck what love looks like, I'm gonna go full crazy here with buddie and blue and yellow, because we are starting at Eddie's introduction lol just another nice little day in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland.

Let's move past shirtless Ryan for a sec (yes, I could've used a different screenshot, but why would I lol) the bag above Eddie's head is blue, and there's that yellow thing behind Buck (Hen is also in yellow in this scene and everyone else is in the darker uniform so 👀)

But this is nothing yet, in terms of crazy. How about the way that Hector's call is blue and yellow? And the blue and yellow lights in the ceiling of the ambulance?

What if I told you the dialogue here is "Practice rounds have blue caps, gold caps are live."? Are you feeling insane with me yet?

I personally view the "you can have my back any day" as inherently blue and green, but Eddie's side does have that yellowish light in the middle there so, something else to consider.

But moving on, there's a lot of blue and yellow lighting during the earthquake, but even I will have to admit that's because of emergency lights, so I will keep moving, I am crazy but I also know when to admit that this show likes warm lights and sirens are blue lol

Next up, we have the fountain. And the elf happening right after this, like 👀👀

I couldn't find any other examples in season 2 tho.

I will admit that my season 3 examples are a really big stretch but, the grocery store, has blue, green, and yellow elements, mostly behind Buck.

Them making up the station, also has the yellow light element.

Other cutesy things I wanna point out are the summer camp talk and the cup thing, with the blue chair and the building.

And I kinda have to add the recovery conversation because of the oven and the light behind Eddie.

Also, they usually drink the genuine beer, that has a yellow label and the coming out scene has a beer with a blue label.

Okay, but I skipped a bunch of shit here in the middle. Well, season 5 doesn't have anything that stands out to me all that much. Season 6, has the poker date.

I'm kinda obsessed with the way that the coming out scene has Buck in blue and the yellow behind Eddie while he's dressed in black and the end of the poker date is the other way around. This one feel more on purpose to me than anything else that I pointed out, since this happens after tomorrow, where we see that in play with henren a lot.

But my question here is, if this is something that has been played with since season 2, what does this mean for buddie and survivors?

This scene has some blue and yellow elements and it is the lead to the will reveal.

And, well, the will reveal is undeniably blue and yellow. Their shirts are blue and yellow. And this scene reads as a love confession. It was talked about as Eddie's way of saying he loves Buck to the core. If you add this, and the elements of the shooting and how not platonic the they're in situation is, if any of this is true, then, well, what does it mean for this scene?

I kinda wanna go full conspiracy theory for a second, so bear with me. Buck coming out scene, Buck matches the lighting, everything around him is blue (in contrast to the kiss, where he is in a blue shirt but he has the yellow light behind him), kinda like what's happening with Eddie in the will reveal, but obviously, since Eddie doesn't really match, it's just in the same color palette, we can make an argument about him not being ready yet. Not like Buck is when it comes to his bisexuality now. Especially with the way this scene screams aborted love confession. So, since I'm already using this to fuel my Ryan got cast with a plan madness, I will also use this for my Eddie has been aware since season 4 madness.

This is long and kinda completely deranged but I think there is an actual argument to be made here, at least from season 6 forward, so this is my current theory, let's see how the rest of the season plays out 🫶

As always, if you read this I love you 💜

[matan4il]

911 ep 706 first watch reactions

Buck and Eddie setting up the bachelor party are so funny. They're married to a degree that the bride and groom can only aspire to one day achieve. And Madney are raising a kid together! Then again, so are Buddie, and have been since day 2... (day 1 is forever Buck ogling Eddie at the station, and Eddie strutting his stuff for him, with Buck's now canonically jealou-traction being the, ummm, lubricant)

Oh, Tommy just arrived, Buck and him have done nothing but hug, and Eddie's already bringing on the jealousy jealou-traction. IDK what is the etiquette about bringing your date to a bachelor party, but what's the rule about bringing your hubby who's jealous of your bf?

Oh, and an extra jab at Buck bringing Tommy officially as his date to the wedding. I love me a jealous Eddie. My dude, your closet is shaking so hard, it's about to push you out of itself if you don't make the move already.

Okay, in all seriousness, Tommy not dressing like the 80's, Buck showing that he really cared about that silly party theme, Eddie rolling with it, the two of them being dressed more as a couple than the actual guys dating, Buddie seeing things so much in the same way (down to both seeing themselves as the same character from Miami Vice) while Buck and Tommy are totally out of sync... I love that Tommy is there to help Buck figure himself out, but also, this is the stuff that will forever keep me shipping Buddie.

I know the flashback is mainly to show that the bachelor party is Buck's idea, and goes against Chim's wishes, but Eddie suggests the couple costume? And Buck was so readily on board? Even when he knew Tommy would also be invited? This is my house catching fire, while I sit here, mumbling to myself how fine it all is...

Okay, everyone leaving the bachelor party, even the guy Buck is dating, while Eddie stays, sure is something. And by "something" I mean "a couple." That's a couple. That's Buck's partner in everything, even dumb ass 80's costumes and failed bachelor parties, he's the one who jumps in whatever stupid plan Buck comes up with, and stays to deal with the mess.

LOL And then we got some REAL mess. Again, dumb Buck idea, and Eddie just rolling with it. Making it worse even, by suggesting how to take the party (made up of people who don't even know the groom) to Chimney. These two deserve each other. XD

Buck was behind Eddie while his shirt was being torn? Presumably helping with the tearing? That's it, 911 does not want me to make it to the end of the season with my sanity intact. I guess it's good that I'm not even trying...

I'm glad there was a representation of Chim and Kevin, and a Korean tradition, I just hope it was a truthful one. (do we have Korean viewers in our midst to chime in on this?)

Maddie using her 911 skills to find and help Chim is pretty badass (and a nice gender reversal of the 'damsel in distress needing to be saved a sec before her wedding' tale). Love it!

Maddie and Chim looked so happy during their wedding. Honestly, at the end of the day, my little hopelessly romantic heart doesn't need more than that. <3

Awwww, the Buck and Tommy kiss was nice. I think the most important part of it is we got to see Buck for the first time daring to kiss another guy, rather than wait to be kissed. I may bbe a Buddie shipper, but I think this r/s is important to Buck as well, to his ability to find what he wants, to not be scared of it, to not wait for others to want him as was the case with all the women he'd dated, but rather figure out what he wants in a certain moment, and that it's okay for him to go get it.

(I still don't think Tommy is Buck's endgame, though. Much as his probably my fave Buck r/s so far other than Eddie. Tommy not being there for Buck when the bachelor party flunked, him not being there at the wedding itself, to share this significant moment with Buck, being almost incidental to Buck's coming out to his colleagues and parents, other than being a gay that was obviously kissed by Buck just a short while ago... Again, just not the stuff great love stories are made of)

Hen going, "Finally!" to Karen was funny and cute. Everyone (almost) just smiling at Buck's coming out was nice. But the way his mom reacted in particular felt more realistic, and made me wish that at least with his parents, who we know he has a strained r/s with, the should would have allowed this to be more explored. Hopefully in a future ep if not now.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[perfectlysunny02]

Do a prompt inspired by your situation!

Buck calls his boyfriend (Eddie or Tommy, whoever you feel suits it best!) all sleepy and disgruntled.

Safe travels!

i just want it known that i am very sleepy and disgruntled right now and i can’t wait till i land so i can go to sleep on my husband. anyway here’s bucktommy

Tommy has said many times that Evan was adorable. He was adorable when he ranted about the injustices of the world, he was adorable when he dropped everything for his family, the people he cared about, he was adorable when he had random fun facts just queued up and ready to go. He was adorable whenever he did anything but Tommy’s favorite version of Evan was when he was sleepy.

His voice got all low and kinda rough, his curls fell all haphazardly because there was no product in them, and his blue eyes seemed impossibly brighter. He was peaceful then, peaceful in a way he had never been anywhere else. Tommy loved Sleepy Soft Evan more than anything in the world, and he loved that he seemed to be the only one who got to see it.

“Poor baby,” Tommy said softly on facetime as Evan walked briskly through the airport, complaining he had to take off his shoes. “I thought you had TSA pre-check.”

“I did! I do. I do it so I don’t have to take off my shoes and touch the dirty airport floor. Now I have to change my fucking socks. I don’t know what they were on.” Evan whined. “I’m sorry. That’s probably rude. I’m just really tired. I just want to be home with you already. I’m so ready for my own bed.”

“Soon baby, three more hours.” Tommy laughed softly, watching as Evan’s curls fall into his forehead and he longs to brush them away, scratching lightly at his scalp in the way he knew Evan loved. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see you either, honey,” Evan smiled at him before glancing up at something else. “I gotta go. We’re boarding. I love you.”

Evan blew him a kiss and the facetime ended.

sorry this is shit. i’m super fucking tired lol. tagging: @theotherbuckley @actuallyitsellie @whatisreggieshortfor @between-two-fandoms @mattdoestevan @mayorjack @runicnotation @tizniz @persephones-stars

[deluweil]

Oh God yes, I am so for Tommy being gone just to have people stop being stupid about Eddie. Which is a pitty because at first I was intrigued by Tommy. Now i just want it to end.

And lol at your tags. I have blocked so many people lately, too. Not even stupid takes during TK era made me block so much. Some of them really take the cake now. All this hate towards Eddie is staggering. And to have the audacity to call eddieblr toxic (and yes, I have seen that and not only buddies are being called toxic these days).

HI there,

I have to say that I was intrigued and even excited for Tommy at first too, but there were a lot of things that just ruined it along the way, amongst them the last minute joiners and Eddie haters fans who just set out to make this place unbearable.

I wouldn't have minded Tommy so much if not for all the toxicity that brought with it and the poor writing and the money for specs from Lou.

Like wth dude, didn't anyone teach you to be correct, you can't justify Tommy's behavior in S2 and pass it as teasing. It's like punching someone in the face in rage or nearly break someone's ankle for attention and call it roughhousing. (not joking, I literally had an ask with someone justifying the white man railroading the POC for attention as roughhousing. - When Buck himself said he wasn't sure it wasn't done on purpose. like wtf?)

lol I live for those tags, everyone say their real thoughts and be funny in tags, it's so much fun.

I literally bonded with that block button, I haven't blocked so many ppl since early S4 and the porn bots attack lol

Ppl need to chill, everyone is entitled to their opinions but are not entitled to force it upon others.

Ship who you want but tag properly and don't be toxic about.

A lot of ppl read X's posts and come to rant about it here, Tumblr is not X, most of the ppl here are ppl who hate X's toxicity. I have deleted my account so many years ago.

We are here to have fun, so I say ship who you want, TAG PROPERLY, and leave us the hell alone.

Eddie/Ryan haters are all blocked so thankfully I don't see those, but if after everything they still hate on Eddie for something Ryan apologized several times for, learned from it and has bettered himself to the point that Aisha posted a thankful for Ryan story once and they have so many pictures together where she hugs him like he's one of the most precious ppl to ever live, than I have to call pure racism.

And that would explain the sudden admiration to the new white man on screen to be paired with the other white man who is by chance also the fan favorite.

Don't get it twisted, I love Oliver and Oliver loves Ryan and Eddie, but one has to wonder about the audience's choice of favorite even as they call against racism and for equality and with the same breath hate on a regular poc character.

I'm hoping this bizarre season ends on a good note, because otherwise S8 may be the last season.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buddie: Eddie's 'Vertigo'

This makes me stand by my "Buddie Crack Theory" even harder than before.

I've been posting for weeks about how off this season has been and the release of this poster leads me to believe my "Buddie Crack Theory" holds even more weight (for me at least) since TM the showrunner had to go to this extreme and post another late night cryptic message to Buddie Shippers. Please understand the GA doesn't follow social media in this manner to pick up his "Buddie clues" so he's doing this specifcally for those who 'ship Buddie.

ALSO, THERE'S NO MENTION OF BUCK’S CURRENT LI AND THAT'S F~CKING HILARIOUS! 🤪😜😁

BT bones incoming!

Now that I've had my LOL moment, I'll explain how I'm not going to get into the similarities between the original movie and TM's wacky depection of it since it's been done multiple times on 911blr, TikTok and other platforms. But I will say it's extremely suspicious that he's doing this now following everything that's happened since 7x7 aired.

Additionally, it's very interesting that he made a whole "movie" poster about this to help viewers understand what's in his mind🙄. He didn't do this for "Poseidon" or "Speed" or any of the other storylines he ripped off from blockbuster movies so there's that.

IMO, TM has been reading comments since Thursday (I think he's been doing it all season) about how much most veiwers f~cking hate this storyline for Eddie and he's trying to do something to corral Buddie shippers since a lot of them gave up on Buddie after the episode aired and they read the latest interviews.

If a storyline is this complicated then maybe TM should have reconsidered it. Based on the comments left on post mortem articles, not even the GA liked the cheating arc for Eddie so this is even more telling (something similar happened in season 5 with the introduction of Lucy D. after she kissed Buck in 5x11 and it's been speculated they cut her scenes in later episodes). Reminder, TM said it himself that he has to produce a show for everyone including the network executives and the GA not just Buddie shippers but he ships them too so... what's his motivation here? Apparently, he doesn't want Buddie shippers to give up but is he too late for those who already have? Possibly but only time will tell. Furthermore, IIRC, he's been wanting to include Devin K. back into the series since he killed off Shannon's character and now it appears he has his chance.

Finally, I'll say this... if you follow me you know that I've been posting since the season began that I believe Buck’s still in his coma dream. It's my "Buddie Crack Theory" and I haven't elaborated on it yet because I wanted to wait until the season progressed. But now I'm even more convinced it holds merit and I might elaborate on it with CANON proof now that TM has released this poster. Possibly later this week if I feel up to it.

[lemotmo]

I don’t know what to think regarding buddie. Like one hand we’ve got Tim saying he stopped writing them because he didn’t want to queerbait but now is writing them again because he realized it was harmful to the show to not do so because they are so natural with each other, coupled with Ryan and Oliver having said they want buddie if it happens to be done naturally on one hand and then on the other hand you have Kenny talking about Lou and how great he is and what positive energy he adds to the cast and set and how he can’t wait to see the Buck and Tommy relationship continue on and keep growing.

It’s like what direction are we supposed to be preparing ourselves for them to be going. One second it seems like buddie and then the next it’s right back to feeling like the delusional shipper people had made buddie fans feel like for years now.

Hello Nonny! How are you today? Hope you're having a splendid day.

First order of the day: You are not delusional! We are not delusional! Say it with me! We aren't! It has been confirmed by Oliver and Tim. Buddie was in the works at a certain point in time, but Fox stepped in and prevented it. So no, no delusional people here. We're valid in our convictions.

As for your ask. Well, I don't work for the show, so I don't have any insider information. But I do have common sense, so let's break everything down in smaller parts.

Tim not writing for Buddie anymore out of fear of queerbaiting is something from earlier seasons when Fox was in charge. It's obvious he has changed his mind about it with ABC in charge, seeing as how every single episode has some great and meaningful Buddie scenes. Not just that, there was also a great Buddie and Christopher scene, once again cementing the Buckley-Diaz family as a unit. It's true what he says, they have this natural unforced chemistry.

I didn't know that Kenny said those things about Lou, but I get it. For Kenny Lou is a great co-worker. He has worked with him before in previous seasons and he obviously likes the guy, which... you know, valid. That being said though, Kenny doesn't know where the showrunners are taking all the storylines. Tommy is involved in Buck's storyline and so far only Buck's storyline. (Well, and Eddie's as well I suppose, since Eddie is almost always there when bucktommy are together, which... choices!) Sure, Tommy was at the wedding, but that was only a very brief scene. Also, whether we like it or not, Buck is currently involved with Tommy. So of course Kenny is going to talk about them. What is he going to say? 'Oh hey guys, LOL don't get too attached to Tommy, he won't stick around LOL!' He might have some idea about the oncoming Buddie train, but he can't just talk about that.

Let's take in account all the things we have so far: Buckley-Diaz family in full force, Oliver and Ryan can't shut up about Buddie, Oliver hardly ever mentions bucktommy and when he does it's always in the same way -> Tommy as a guide, gay Yoda to help Buck out. That doesn't sound very romantic to me. Next, Tim likes writing for Buddie (confirmed), magazines are all over Buddie and bucktommy is hardly ever mentioned. The last episode they juxtaposed Tommy and Eddie and showed Eddie consistently by Buck's side, willing to step into his world. Tommy didn't. Lou himself revealed that he isn't allowed to use 'Buck' to address Buck, but he has to use Evan. Evan is a name that Buck heavily associates with his parents and his upbringing. I'm sure there is more, but I can't think of it right now.

The difference in chemistry. I myself don't see it at all, but a lot of people seem to like the bucktommy chemistry in their kisses. But outside of those kisses there is a lot of wooden interactions that don't ring true. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but if you place those interactions next to Buck and Eddie's scenes the difference in chemistry is palpable. Buddie oozes natural chemistry. Something bucktommy lack. Again, I really think this might be part of the narrative, to show the eventual incompatibility of both characters.

The list just goes on and on. So, I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to bury the battle axe quite yet. To be honest, I'll probably never bury it. As long as Eddie and Buck are on my TV-screen, I'll ship them, because they are literally made for each other. 6 years of history, friendship, family, hope and love. That is not something to waste and the show knows it all too well.

So yeah Nonny, I said it before and I'll say it again:

I'm securely riding the Buddie train, destination endgame. I won't be satisfied with anything less.

[kinardbegins]

HIIII 😁

I'm leaving a lil idea in here: how about one or both of them being covered in soot (like tommy was) and them having a lil intimate moment helping the other or eachother clean up?

HI HI HI THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST <333

this one got soooo away from me lol it was supposed to be like 200ish words but omg yeah it got a lil deep

wc: 1.2k

no warnings but tommy's pretty sad in this (and buck's there for him <3)

also on ao3!

sense of belonging

Tommy can’t help it, he has to see Buck. He feels lost, as if nothing is ever going to be okay again, and he needs someone he knows he can count on. Someone he can trust. Which is how he finds himself outside the 118, grimacing at his old firehouse. He can’t deny that he misses it, but he also can’t deny that he never did belong there.

Eddie spots him from inside and makes his way over with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Hey, man! What are you doing here?”

Tommy tries to smile but it falls short. “Just finished work. Needed to see if… if he’s okay.”

There’s a shift, then, and Eddie just knows. Knows that something must have happened. Something must have set him off. “Yeah. Yeah, man, he said something about getting a shower just a few minutes ago. Got a bit dirty on the last call, which… seems like you did too.”

Tommy shrugs. He knows he looks like hell. Dirt sticks to his eyebrows and dried blood lines the straight-edge of his jawline and god knows what else is there. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror long enough to clear it off. Not after the shift he had. Not after the civilian he lost. 

Moving swiftly to the shower room, giving forced smiles to anyone who looks his way, he finds Buck stepping out the shower with a towel around his waist. If it were any other day, Tommy wouldn’t be able to look away from the water clinging to his toned muscles and the short hairs trailing below the towel. But now, in this moment, he can’t look away from his face, from the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are slightly parted and his birthmark seems pinker than usual, almost crimson. And then he gets to watch how his face completely changes when he spots him. How he brightens immediately. As if just seeing him makes him the happiest man alive. 

It hits him square in the chest. He’s not sure how someone like Buck can look at someone like him and have that type of reaction. He’s not used to it. Sometimes he still wonders if this is the universe playing some sort of sick and twisted game with him and that one day he’ll wake up to find this all gone. Ripped away. Just like everything and everyone else he’s ever known.

But seeing that Buck is okay–seeing him there and happy and alive–brings up all these emotions Tommy can’t quite figure out right now. There’s relief, that’s for sure, and there’s happiness, but there’s also a stronger feeling than the usual flutter in his stomach and the tightness in his chest and that should scare him but it doesn’t. Buck opens his mouth to talk but all he gets out is a hmmph as Tommy takes two large steps toward him and they collide in a tight embrace. He doesn’t care that Buck is soaking wet from the shower and drenching his clothes, he just needs to feel close.

Buck seems to understand though because he says nothing. Instead, he pulls Tommy in closer and gently scratches at the short hairs at the base of his neck. It calms him down enough to pull back and look at Buck properly, taking him in and memorising that look on his face. Just in case.

“Hey,” he whispers, voice hoarse. 

Buck’s eyes soften. “Hey, yourself. Bad shift?”

“You have no idea.”

Buck cups his face and runs the pad of his thumb over his cheek. Tommy doesn’t remember a time he’s ever been touched so gently before. “I think I have some idea,” he says, sliding his hand down Tommy’s jaw and furrowing his eyebrows at the blood. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“You should get dressed first,” Tommy mutters. He’s suddenly struck with the feeling that he’s being a burden. That he’s invading Buck’s space. His time. “Incase you need to run out.”

Buck seems like he’s about to protest when he realises that Tommy’s right. “I’ll be back in a second, I swear,” he sighs before ducking out of the room and leaving Tommy alone. It’s not until this moment he realises just how tired he really is. All he wants to do is go home and crawl into bed but he feels stuck. Like he can’t move. Risking a glance at the mirror, he’s grateful to find that he can’t see himself through the steam. He’s not quite ready to face himself yet.

But before he can dwell on it, or think about how it felt to watch someone die right in front of him (not for the first time, but certainly not for the last time either, and that makes his stomach twist uncomfortably), Buck is running back into the room and taking Tommy’s face in his hands. He tilts his head to one side and then the other before tutting and reaching out to turn on the tap, keeping one hand on Tommy at all times. Once he’s satisfied with the temperature of the water, he runs a cloth underneath it and rings it out before slowly reaching up to dab it over Tommy’s jawline. 

“Is this your blood?”

Tommy shrugs. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

Buck pauses for a moment before moving to wipe at the dirt coating his eyebrow. “Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

Tommy shakes his head.

“Okay,” Buck says after a while, scrubbing away the last of the dirt. His touch is so gentle and so caring that Tommy fears he might cry. “Do you want to come eat with us? Bobby’s making his famous lasagne.” He pulls away the cloth and drops it in the sink, running some water over it for a moment before switching off the tap and putting all his attention back on Tommy. Both of his hands drop to Tommy’s shoulders and he smooths his palms across the broad expanse, offering a sweet smile. “You’ll love it.”

“I don’t know,” Tommy sighs, shaking his head. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be, I promise. Bobby will love to have you; we all will.”

And that’s how Tommy finds himself sitting where he used to sit all those years ago, only this time he knows that he doesn’t have to hide who he is. So when Chimney brings up something Tommy did once on a call so long ago it feels like a past life, something shifts inside of him, and when Bobby claps him over the shoulder with a proud smile, that something becomes a little lighter. Hen smiles at him and Eddie bumps his arm against his and Ravi listens intently as he retells the story from his point of view. And when Buck laughs at a joke he makes, his head tilting back to let out the loveliest sound Tommy’s ever heard, and then he looks at him to see if he’s laughing too, Tommy can’t help the genuine smile that graces his face. And he realises he feels like he finally belongs. And that maybe, just maybe, things will be okay after all.

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @daffi-990 @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks

hi!! i'm back lol - well, the craziness at work is done and I'm slowly getting back to writing bc I haven't written in like a week and it's killing me lol (this is gonna sound dramatic but I literally don't feel like myself if I don't write for too long haha) I don't have anything new to share rn, but I figured since it's already december and since some of y'all are sharing Christmas fics, and knowing I likely won't write one this year, I'm gonna shamelessly plug my holiday fake dating fic with 4 Christmases and 6 Christmas chapters actually 😂 (Christmas was a very important time for Buck and Eddie's relationship in this lol) - there's obvi more holidays in this but anyway, here's a snippet of their first Christmas together also, it's been a year since I posted the first chapter and I'm feeling nostalgic lol, this fic is my baby and I love it so much (tho there's so many things I'd change now lol)

[read on Ao3]

___

Turns out, Buck is very much serious about the whole thing, and Christopher finds it hilarious and is eager to play along. Eddie doesn’t have valid arguments not to do it, and it’s not like he doesn’t want to. After another snide comment when talking to his parents, he made his decision. And he already felt this exciting feeling of satisfaction when he told them he’d be bringing someone for Christmas this year – miraculously, Buck and Eddie don’t work on Christmas, and they took an additional day off, so their schedules allow for a three-day trip to Texas. 

So now, it’s Christmas Eve and they’re on their way from the airport to Eddie’s childhood home, and he’s nervous, doubts just starting to seep in. What on earth possessed him to do this? He can’t lie to his family. He can’t pretend to be in love with Buck. What if he really does fall in love with him? What if everything goes to shit? He’s watched enough movies to know it’s a bad idea, but he couldn’t and still can’t bring himself to stop it.

“So.” Eddie says, his voice shaking slightly, as they sit in a cab. “We’re doing this.”

“Yep.” he can hear Buck grin next to him. “Unless you still wanna back out?” he adds quickly. They could still say Buck’s just a friend. No big deal. But Eddie does have this petty desire to stir something up, and this seems perfect. 

“No. It’ll be fine.” he smiles at Buck, and then feels hot when Buck grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers, winking at him. Christopher laughs.

“You’d make a great couple.” he comments. He’s been unusually happy about all of this. He also asked Eddie a few days ago if Eddie loves Buck, which prompted a conversation, but he thinks Chris knows what’s going on now. Eddie doesn’t really know what to think about that.

“Thanks, buddy.” Buck responds excitedly, squeezing Eddie’s hand, and he can’t contain a smile. If not anything else, at least all three of them are going to have a lot of fun.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1

[infinite-orangepeel]

✨STEDDIE FICLET: BOYS WILL BE BOYS

!! masturbation, general horny energy/vibe (lol), discovering sexuality !!

steve and eddie arguing over who has the bigger dick. they’re just friends. they’ve never seen each other naked.

steve and eddie getting out the ruler to compare dick sizes.

it’s a game. it’s something to play. it’s something to pass the time.

boys will be boys.

steve and eddie, joking around, fumbling to get their pants around their thighs, excited by the competitive air between them. quipping. ruffling each others feathers. making light in the dead of winter.

steve and eddie falling silent.

steve’s breath hitching.

eddie’s eyes widening.

flushed red of arousal rushing to their cheeks as everything becomes a bit too real.

steve gulping.

eddie watching the pitiful up and down movement of his adam’s apple. bobbing beautifully under all those pretty moles on his decadent throat.

eddie hardening. stiffening up rapidly because steve’s standing there—so close—squirming around and whimpering like a slut.

“it happens,” steve says as if it really does, “ ‘s nothing to be ashamed of. c’mon. i’ll measure you, if you measure me.”

eddie nodding, barking a laugh, choking on something heavy.

tonguing the sharp edge of his teeth to counteract and distract from the thrumming pleasure—the threat his hips pose to buck up into the warm grasp of steve’s hand circling around his leaking tip.

steve and eddie lining up their cocks, because it’s ‘easier to tell.’

numbers are too difficult.

numbers are useless.

why use numbers when they have four hands between them to compare and stroke over their lengths?

gentle fingers to dip down and cup each others balls like something precious to behold. tickling. smiling.

careful not to make eye contact. careful not to make it real.

steve and eddie groaning like untamed beasts when they press their aching dicks together. skin to skin.

wet. slippery. burning up with forbidden fever. the urge to close every existing gap is palpable.

so easy to break.

so easy to shatter.

“guess we’re about the same size. funny. who would’ve thought?”

eddie plays the fool. plays the whole thing off as a joke. tears his eyes away but doesn’t miss the opportunity to rub a flat palm over both of their cockheads before retreating like the coward he believes himself to be.

bashful. ashamed. terrified of the truth. terrified of the monster he is. vicious and destructive in all matters of the self.

speeding car on a dead end path.

“g-guess so. yeah. funny.”

steve’s voice is distant, murky, undone, and empty. brows furrowed. lips bitten.

he’s beautiful and strange. colored all shades of pink. hairy thighs. soft heart. golden boy.

steve and eddie zipping themselves back into their jeans. making separate excuses about this and that.

“gotta get going—”

“me too—”

“band practice—”

“dinner with robin—”

“see ya later—”

“yeah—”

steve and eddie touching themselves, alone in their rooms—later that night.

moon high. beds cold. moans hidden behind clenched fists.

steve humping his pillow.

faster, harder than he’s done in a long time. eddie’s rings and silver tongue on his mind. he’s drunk on it. dizzy and loose.

eddie fucking himself open with a toy. legs spread wide. tongue between teeth. hand on his stomach to feel the bulge where he dreams steve’s pretty cock might some day be, if he’s lucky.

steve and eddie cumming at the same time, across town, and reaching for the phone at the exact same instant.

“i need you—”

“i miss you—”

“come over—”

“i’m already on my way.”

taglist (message me to be added or removed at any time <3): @estrellami-1 @disastardly @ilovecupcakesandtea @the-redthread @asbealthgn @bestofbucky @vampireinthesun @carlyv @shrimply-a-menace @lordrrascal @jjoesjonas @malachitedevil @anxiouseds @gay-little-bitch @jhrc666 @pinkdaisies1998 @mcneen @perseus-notjackson @eiddets @corroded-coffin-groupie @three-possums-playing-human @stevesbipanic @plutoshelm @arkenstoned @indiearr @they-reap-what-we-sow @gleek4twd @bunnyweasley23 @livingoutload @a-little-unsteddie @novelnovella @rugbertgoeshome @neverlandwaitingforme @anglhrts @swiss-cheeze

[matan4il]

911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[tawaifeddiediaz]

acts of service

this is for @bedhadakdiaz because murtasim was simping over meerab and we decided that eddie would do that, too lol. anywho, thank you @eddiediaaz for the beta ily.

[AO3 Link]

Word Count: 4,362 words

The sight in front of him is nothing new.

Eddie steps into his silent home, well past the time he thought he’d be home. Hours later, in fact.

He was supposed to be back by dinner. Instead, a five-alarm fire kept him away from joining the two halves of his heart for the first hot meal they could’ve had together in almost a week.

Opposite shifts are the worst, Eddie thinks to himself as he sets his work bag down by the door, away from the hallway.

There’s only a dim lamp casting its warmth across the living room, but despite that, Eddie thinks he’s walked into the warmest place he’s ever known — almost like the sun beams gently through the cracks and fissures of these walls. 

It has nothing to do with the temperature, and everything to do with the house’s occupants. Everywhere Eddie looks, he can see the evidence of a happy day — can feel the contentment in the air. Even without knowing the details, he knows that it’s proof of an evening well spent.

Exhaustion lessens its weight from his bones as he drinks in the familiarity of his home, his gaze searching for everything and nothing in particular as he slips his jacket off, hanging it on the coat rack next to Buck’s.

It’s not until then that his gaze lands on the man himself.

Buck lays sprawled out on the couch, back cushions discarded to make space for his broad shoulders, his legs thrown all over the place, snoring lightly. Eddie can’t stop the soft smile that graces his face, even through his exhaustion, and he moves carefully, quietly padding onto the rug with socked feet, his footsteps muffled, unlikely to wake him up. 

Chris isn’t too off-base when he says Buck sounds like a tractor when he sleeps sometimes, but for Eddie, the sound is all he can think about whenever the memory of his stillness creeps in. It’s a blessing in disguise after the terrifying days of nothing but utter silence — only the beep of the machines and the hustle of the ICU to keep him company on the days he’d managed to look at Buck through the glass.

Eddie can’t help but smile at the snuffling sounds that leave Buck’s parted mouth, even as he reaches out, bumping the back of a knuckle against his chin to close it gently. It drops back open almost immediately, his nose wrinkling in his sleep and Eddie gives up the fight, not wanting to startle him out of his rest.

His gaze shifts to the strewn blankets  around him, instead of over him, the stack of pillows in the corner that have definitely been pulled from the hallway closet without being put away, and the empty bowls neatly stacked on the coffee table, and the two mugs with the dregs of hot chocolate still left in the bottom.

A very good evening, then.

Eddie, even in his delirious state, can vividly picture Buck and Christopher tucked away in their pillow fort, bowls of homemade popcorn and those veggie crisps Buck loves and got Chris hooked on in front of them, mugs of hot chocolate in hand. Pillow forts are surprisingly one thing, at thirteen, that Chris hasn’t grown out of, and Eddie knows that Buck cherishes every moment they aren’t constantly reminded of how old he’s getting, just the same way he is.

Eddie gets that more than anyone — he and Buck even have a look they exchange when Christopher does something that makes him seem too many years old for their sanity. 

But nights after these also leave the living room feeling a little lonely, the quiet a little more somber. Eddie guesses that’s why all the reminders from the night are still scattered, so they can delay the inevitable process of their kid growing up for just a few hours longer.

The reminders of it are all around him, but before his tired brain can slip down that slope, Eddie shakes off the thought and refocuses on Buck — who, not only has slept in his makeshift bed without a blanket, but has his whole head hanging off the edge of the pillow, trapped against the backrest in a way that’s sure to give him a crick in his neck come morning. 

Buck’s phone is resting haphazardly on his stomach, fingers loosely gripping the top of it, and Eddie knows if he unlocked it, he’d find his chat pulled up. 

The thought of someone waiting up for him warms his chilled bones. It’s the confirmation that Buck does the same thing Eddie does when they’re not on shift together that makes Eddie’s heart swell with affection and gratitude.

Slowly, carefully, he slides the phone out from under Buck’s hand, setting it to silent, turning on Do Not Disturb and placing it on the coffee table. 

One blanket is crumpled somewhere underneath Buck’s feet, and it takes all of the stealth Eddie possesses to untangle it from Buck’s legs so he doesn’t feel like he’s trapped when he inevitably rolls over in the middle of the night. Quietly, he picks up one of the discarded blankets from the now-demolished pillow fort and drapes it over his best friend carefully. 

He debates trying to fix Buck’s head, not wanting to wake him up, but knows that if he sleeps like this, he’s not going to be able to turn his head for at least a week.

Slowly, Eddie reaches forward and cups the back of Buck’s head gingerly, guiding it back onto the pillow. With the other hand, he tilts his head so his neck isn’t hanging at such an awkward angle. 

The adjustment means that he’s now facing Eddie, his eyes closed as he breathes deeply, and Eddie feels frozen in place as he watches Buck sleep. 

His expression is still smooth and still in slumber, more peaceful than Eddie’s seen him in a while. The slack features make him look lighter, and the snores whistling out of his still-parted mouth make the corners of Eddie’s mouth tip up even further.

Without thinking, Eddie reaches out, unable to stop his fingers from smoothing back a few errant curls from tickling the shell of Buck’s ears, his fingers drifting lightly against the sharp line of his jaw. There’s a sharp inhale of breath, and for a minute, Eddie panics at being caught out like this — looming over Buck, disrupting his sleep, tucking the short strands of his hair as if he has any right to.

Instead, Buck rolls over, inhaling deeply as his cheek comes to rest flat against Eddie’s palm, the hand on top holding his forearm in place.

Miraculously, he doesn’t wake up, only tucking his face tighter against Eddie’s hand, holding him close, and God help him, it’s when he goes to move that Eddie realizes he’s stuck like this. 

“Shit,” he mutters quietly to himself, trying to pry his fingers free. Buck frowns slightly before his grip on Eddie’s forearm tightens, and Eddie simply gives up the fight, helpless to do much else than settle next to him. 

Careful not to dislodge Buck, Eddie grabs one of the long cushions and sets it on the floor, lowering himself down with a wince as his bones creak. He pushes the coffee table away so he can fit, getting his legs under him. It’s a stretch to keep his arm where Buck is, but it’s not uncomfortable yet — he’s just positioned in a way that he knows he’ll definitely regret come morning.

But right now, all he can think about is the peace on Buck’s face, and how he’d hate to disturb that — he knows that he’ll regret waking him up more than any other ache he’ll have.

Eddie tilts his head onto his outstretched shoulder, mere inches away from Buck, and just…lets himself look.

He’s come to terms with the way his heart beats a symphony of Buck’s name, that the rest of his life is going to be just this — because no one is ever going to match up to what he has with Buck. 

He’d tried, of course. He’d gone on date after date, and tried to fill the romance-shaped void in his life, but at the end of the night, he’d end up comparing them to Buck — a comparison that didn’t stop no matter how many dates he went on. After a while, guilt made it too hard to keep trying, so Eddie simply shut the door on it, kindly put his foot down with Tia Pepa, and resolved himself to this life.

But then, Buck did the same thing. 

One minute, he’d been going out with Natalia, and the next, he’d stopped bringing up dates and dinners and romance altogether. When Eddie mustered up the courage to ask, Buck had simply said that they were looking for different things, and that he wanted to take a break from dating for a bit.

That’s when things changed again. 

The tidal wave of Buck’s affection, even though it’s something Eddie’s been familiar with ever since he met the guy, feels different now. Before, it’d been a constant hum at the back of Eddie’s head, a steadiness that kept him anchored to his reality. Now, it laps closer and closer around Eddie’s ankles thrashing against his legs and begging him to sink down in it until it feels like one more wave could knock the confession from his chest.

Now, the glances between them feel like they have a new weight. Every time Buck walks into this house, there’s a new reluctance to let him leave, to watch him walk out the door even with the surety that he’ll be walking right back in 24 hours later. Every time they sit down to eat together, there’s enough warmth at the table that Eddie sometimes forgets that this isn’t a permanent thing — not yet.

It’s in the way Buck smiles at him, open and vulnerable, and the way he tries his best to wait up for Eddie even if it’s going on two in the morning with no sign of him. It’s in the way Eddie always ends up cooking enough for three, or the way he’s just stopped using certain detergents because they make Buck’s nose itch, or the way his bathroom has three sets of everything — except razors because thankfully Chris doesn’t need those yet — and at least five different hair products that belong specifically to curly hair. 

(Hair products that Chris has started using, too, so now the only one in the house who uses the regular, “boring” shampoo is Eddie.)

It’s in the way that the keys on both their key-rings look well-used, or that the hoodie Buck’s wearing right now is Eddie’s, or the locker Eddie used tonight was Buck’s. It’s the way half the appliances in Eddie’s kitchen are bought by Buck to use here, including the fancy air fryer that Christopher uses at least once a day.

It’s…intimate — co-dependent, and more partner-like than Eddie’s ever known. He and Buck are hovering around shoving their relationship that last inch into romantic territory, and they may not be there just yet, but they will be. 

Of that much, Eddie’s sure.

He’s startled out of his thoughts when the man he loves more than anything in this world lets out a sharp snort as he turns his nose into Eddie’s wrist, still miraculously asleep, and it’s such a funny sound that Eddie has to bite his lip to keep from laughing in Buck’s face.

With his heart heavy with fondness, Eddie tilts his head so he’s resting more on the couch, supported by the cushion under his arm while his hand rests under Buck’s head. 

His eyelids grow heavier as his pulse thumps steadily under the hand Buck’s curled around his wrist.

Quietly, as he sinks into the peace of his home, sleep sweeps him away.

------

The sun wakes him up first.

Instantly, he knows he’s at Eddie’s, because the sun only pierces his eyes first thing in the morning when he’s laid out on the Diaz couch.

The world filters back in bits and pieces. There’s the quiet hum of the fridge, the faint strains of cars driving through the neighborhood, the chirping from that birdfeeder Eddie insisted on keeping even after Buck and Christopher accidentally spilled a can of paint over it, the sharp scent of sandalwood…

The last one makes him pause.

Sandalwood?

Buck cracks his eyes open to a mop of dark hair, the familiar hunched form of his best friend on the floor next to him.

Eddie’s head is resting on the cushion next to Buck, his arm stretched out, bent at the elbow.

It’s then that Buck realizes that the pillow he’s been snuggling into, the one that smells strongly of Eddie’s sandalwood soap, is actually Eddie’s hand, and that his cheek has been pressing into it for God knows how long.

“What the fuck,” he whispers to himself as he scrambles off of him, jerking his head backwards into the backrest of the couch as a pang of guilt slashes through him. He doesn’t even know why, or how Eddie got here, but he looks so curled up on the ground that Buck’s back aches in sympathy. 

Eddie’s face is turned upwards, towards Buck as he sleeps on. His jaw is rough with two-day stubble, lower lip pushed out into that slight pout he gets when he’s tired, and he’s breathing slow and deep. 

Buck’s heart melts as he takes in this rare sight of Eddie before he puts himself together, sleeping peacefully even in what has to be an uncomfortable position. He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and looks down at Eddie’s hand, which looks bright red from Buck laying on it — presumably all night. 

He has no memory of when Eddie got home last night, but the longer he lays here, watching him sleep soundly, the more he thinks it must have been  really  late if Buck didn’t even realize. 

For a minute, he’s confused. Eddie only comes to join him out on the couch if he has a nightmare he can’t calm down, feet padding quietly as he takes a seat next to Buck on the ground. But those mornings, the evidence of his nightmares are written all over him, in the tight, restless line of his jaw and the fragile wrinkles along his forehead as he frowns at whatever memory he’s seeing.

There’s no sign of that on his face as far as Buck can see, only the soft breaths of a man well into slumber. Even his clothes are the ones from last night, not his usual pajamas. He’s in jeans, and Eddie hates sleeping in jeans.

He spots his phone on the coffee table just as his fingers curl in the thick blanket that Eddie must’ve laid over him, because he doesn’t remember going to sleep with it.

The mental image of an exhausted Eddie pops into his head, leaning over Buck to make sure he’s comfortable, and without even knowing the full picture, he knows that this is because of that, too.

The ways Eddie loves him will never fail to catch Buck off-guard, and even though he’s doing a better job at recognizing that it’s a love that exists no matter what — without any expectations from Buck to be a certain way, or to do something in return — there’s days where he doesn’t believe he deserves it. Days where he doesn’t believe this incredible man is waiting on them to be ready, is waiting on  Buck to be ready.

Buck’s known of Eddie’s love for weeks, has had all this time to do something about that realization, but something about this quiet morning, basking in the evidence of it, makes Buck want to leap headfirst into it — makes him want to drag Eddie into an affirming kiss and never let go for the rest of their lives.

He can’t do any of that while Eddie’s still sleeping, so instead, Buck gently pulls the blanket off of himself, draping it over Eddie and tucking the ends around him. He’d be more comfortable if Buck just helped him to his bed, but he can’t bring himself to wake him.

He realizes his mistake as soon as he turns onto his side, this time resting his head on his pillow so he can look at Eddie without crushing his hand.

Eddie inhales sharply, his eyes fluttering for a brief second before he settles, pulling his arm back with a grunt until it’s tucked under the blanket, cheek still resting on the couch. It must be uncomfortable to feel the pinpricks of blood returning to the limb, his nerves coming back on line with the sharpness of static.

It’s the right arm, the one that always aches whenever he does something too intensive. Buck’s brain is still coming online from knocking out as hard as he had last night, but even through the haze of his mind, Buck knows just what it means.

Gingerly, Buck gives in to the impulse to slip his fingers through the thick waves of hair on Eddie’s head, stroking until he settles with a content sigh.

Buck loves this man so much it hurts sometimes.

He knows better to assume that Eddie’s fallen asleep, and he’s proven right minutes later when the silence grows thick in anticipation of the first words they’ll exchange today.

“Morning,” Eddie rasps finally, still leaning into Buck’s touch. He’s about to pull his hand away when Eddie’s eyes tilt up to meet his own, soft and welcoming, still asleep.

“Hey.” This time, Buck’s fingers comb through the hair flopping over his forehead, pushing it back as he peers down at Eddie. “What are you doing down there?”

Eddie freezes, his eyes suddenly looking anywhere but at Buck as he tightens the blanket around himself. 

Buck’s eyes narrow as he trails his fingers down to the back of Eddie’s neck, absently kneading as he tries to picture what could’ve happened.

There are very few times Eddie’s as cagey as he looks right now, and instantly, Buck recognizes the expression on his face. It’s the same look he gets when he’s trying to downplay something he did that was purely selfless — something that usually precedes a shrug and a  just doing my job .

“I was sleeping weirdly, wasn’t I?”

As if on cue, Eddie shrugs, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on the couch. Buck slips his fingers back into his hair, tugging lightly as he goes, face flushing at the involuntary breathy sound that slips from Eddie’s mouth.

“Your neck would’ve hated you this morning.” Eddie’s words are muffled by the couch, and suddenly, Buck has the full picture. 

It flies together in his head like a magnetic puzzle with all the pieces turned in the right direction — Eddie fixing the position of his neck, Buck rolling over and accidentally pinning Eddie under his head, Eddie deciding to lay down instead of just pushing Buck over.

Using his grip on the back of Eddie’s head, Buck scoots over until he can press his mouth to the top of his head, emboldened by the uninhibited way Eddie leans into him. The scent of his shampoo drifts from his hair, and Buck hides his smile at the scent in the silky strands.

“I love you,” he murmurs softly, loud enough for just Eddie to hear. 

It’s quiet for a moment — not tense, not anxious, just contemplative. Buck stays where he is, smoothing down the random cowlicks of Eddie’s hair as he rests his cheek against his best friend’s head, his chest lighter for having taken the jump they both needed him to take.

Then, Eddie moves out from under him. He straightens just enough for Buck to move back, a wince flashing across his face briefly, but he’s smiling so, so brightly that Buck has to trace it. 

He lifts a thumb, scraping his nail against the curve of Eddie’s bottom lip as he closes the bare inches between them, tilting his forehead against Eddie’s.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Buck sighs.

It’s easy, being there, in Eddie’s orbit. Buck doesn’t know what time it is, but it has to be early if Christopher isn’t out yet. Still, there’s no rush to go anywhere or do anything.

“I love you, too,” Eddie whispers, his nose nuzzling Buck’s before he laughs quietly. “Is this all it would’ve taken?”

It’s Buck’s turn to laugh as he tilts his chin up to press a kiss to Eddie’s sleep-warm cheek. “You’ve been loving me in secret for...probably longer than I’ve ever realized. Now, you don’t have to hide it from me.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you,” Eddie argues, a little uselessly. “It just...is.”

“Liar,” Buck returns. There’s no just about anything here — Buck knows how much Eddie’s heart is worth, has wanted to guard it since the day he met him, even if it would never be his.

But it is, and Eddie’s given it to him so freely, in so many ways.

Both of them break out into soft giggles as Eddie rests his temple against Buck’s cheek, breathing in deeply.

“I’m not kissing you for the first time with morning breath,” he mumbles. 

“Romantic,” Buck teases before curving a hand around Eddie’s shoulder, tugging lightly. “Come here.” 

That faint snag of guilt takes hold of him again as Eddie uncurls himself with a wince, his back popping as he stretches. Buck sits up, throwing his legs off the couch 

Eddie has no qualms about stretching out on the sofa, head in Buck’s lap as he curls tightly into the blanket, grumbling under his breath as he gets comfortable, shifting this way and that. Buck bites his lip to keep his laughter in as Eddie’s grumbling turns into a few outright swears before he realizes where he is and glances around for little ears.

“He’s still asleep,” Buck reassures him, unable to hide the fond amusement in his voice. Eddie sends him a look before a smile overtakes his expression, eyes slipping closed as he turns his face towards Buck’s stomach. 

It’s when he glances back at his phone that Buck realizes he should’ve grabbed it before Eddie laid down, and quietly, he stretches one leg out, hooking a foot underneath the coffee table and carefully dragging it closer.

Clearly not as careful as he thinks he’s being, because Eddie reaches up to smack the back of his hand weakly into Buck’s chest. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting my phone,” Buck explains sheepishly. Eddie’s eyes open, incredulous but still too fond for it to land as an insult, and Buck settles back in his seat, dropping his palm over Eddie’s eyes so he doesn’t have to look at them anymore.

Eddie chuckles quietly, blindly unfolding one arm from the blanket to reach out, patting the coffee table. It’s comical, the way he’s flailing to find Buck’s phone, and he can’t help the laughter that escapes him when Eddie lets out a triumphant sound as his fingers bump into it.

“Here. Now let me sleep,” Eddie says, shifting until his nose is buried in Buck’s shirt. Buck takes his phone from him, catching Eddie’s wrist before it can disappear into his blanket.

It’s still red at parts, and Buck knows this is the arm that tends to ache on colder days. Carefully, he slides his hand against Eddie’s, massaging the ache that has to be lingering between his fingers and along his palm.

“You could’ve just shoved me off, you know,” Buck tells him. “I would’ve fallen back asleep instantly.” Eddie hums under his breath, a non-committal answer that has Buck dropping his free hand back in his hair, pulling admonishingly. “I’m serious.”

“I’m pretty sure I wasn’t thinking with any of my higher-order functions last night, Buck,” Eddie says. “Or right now, for that matter. Can I sleep now?”

Buck goes to pull his hand out of Eddie’s, but he tightens his grip on it, pressing a kiss to the back of it before letting go, throwing the blanket over himself again.

Sure, there’s a perfectly good bed a few paces over where Buck won’t disturb him with his fidgeting, but Buck likes to keep Eddie close, and mornings are always precious time where he’s more willing to let himself lean into the things he wants.

“You’re a teddy bear,” Buck says matter-of-factually. “A cuddly one.” 

It’s not a new thing to him — Eddie might look all tough, but he’s as pliable as wax is. And he’s more tactile than anyone gives him credit for — a fact that Buck found out during the pandemic, and has never let go of since.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie breathes, eyes shining briefly as they meet Buck’s, faintly rimmed in exhaustion. “Well. To you, at least.”

It’s Buck’s turn to hum contentedly as he picks up his phone, burying his hand in Eddie’s hair and pressing his fingers into his scalp as he checks his text. He’s hardly been doing it for five minutes before Eddie’s breathing evens out, his expression slack where he’s still turned against Buck’s stomach.

Buck flicks over to his texts and shoots Chris one, letting him know his dad is asleep in the living room and not to make much noise when he comes out. He doesn’t get much more than a thumbs up on the message, and then three dots before a message for breakfast pops up in the way only a teenage boy could ask, but Buck’s chest warms at the normality of it all — like this is where he belongs.

Eddie snuffles and shoves closer, his fingers twining tightly into Buck’s shirt as if he can hear the thoughts racing through Buck’s mind. 

Buck looks down at him, his hand cradled carefully around Eddie’s head, and thinks to himself — yeah. With the man who’d rather contort himself into uncomfortable positions than wake Buck up resting peacefully in his arms, Buck’s never been more sure of anything.

This is exactly where he belongs.

[sortasirius]

"Ashes, Ashes" and Eddie Diaz's Grief

This entire post is just about Eddie, literally him and him alone lol

Good lord what a stressful fucking episode.

Just to start off, after Buck meets KIM WHEN SHE JUST SWAGS ON IN TO THE FIREHOUSE WITH HER BROWNIES, the way Eddie opens the back door like he's not sure who would be there, only for him to scoff when Buck asks if he can come in...it's giving "this is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest."

"Eddie...who's Kim?"

And Eddie immediately turning away from him and picking up dishes to put in the sink...yeah my man how's that denial taste?

"Marisol's my girlfriend. Kim's just...a friend."

"Just a friend who's a...dead ringer for your late wife?"

I don't think there's anyone else in the world who could talk like this to Eddie. I genuinely think he would turn tail and run if it was anyone else.

I noticed when Eddie says that "nothing's going on" he has an eerily similar expression on his face when Ana showed up to the firehouse. And Buck clocked him then, too.

"It's not even what I want from her."

"Okay. So what do you want?"

"I...don't know."

And that's it. That's Eddie's narrative arc. He doesn't want Shannon. He thinks he does, he's so lost in this fantasy of having her back, of doing things "right this time" that he's convinced himself that, if he could just have her alive again, everything would be perfect. He doesn't want Marisol, we know that, but he doesn't want Kim either. And if I'm honest, he wouldn't want Shannon if he had her back.

What does Eddie want? What does he really want? It's a question none of us can answer. In fact, I don't even think Eddie can answer it right now.

"Does this poor woman know that she is a carbon copy of your dead wife?"

Absolutely brutal line. Wake his ass up, Buck!!!!

"I'm worried about you."

"Yeah. I'm worried about me too."

I AM ALSO VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU EDDIE!!!

Insane that after one (1) conversation with Buck, Eddie decides to come clean to Kim. The power that he holds.

"Have you been spending time with me? Or with her?"

What a fucking gut punch of a line.

"I didn't realize how much I...missed her. Then I saw you."

This is the thing!!! It's almost like he feels like seeing Kim somehow gives him a second chance with Shannon. If he could just have Shannon back, if he could just do it all over again, he would do it right. They would finally have that happy, perfect relationship that he remembers, he would finally be the best husband that he could be, Chris would finally be happy.

He doesn't seem to get that Chris is already happy. OF COURSE he misses his mom, he always will, and Eddie will always miss Shannon, but dragging in this person that just happens to look like her to cling to this semblance of a perfect marriage that never even existed in the first place? Yikes, my guy.

"I guess she was the love of your life."

"I think she was. Yeah. Though I'm not sure I knew at the time."

Because what he remembers isn't real!!! He's whitewashed this relationship to the point that it's not recognizable. She's the love of his life...that he ran away from before she even gave birth to enlist in the army. The love of his life that he reenlisted to stay away from. The love of his life that he fought with constantly. The love of his life that left him a few months after he was discharged. The love of his life that asked him for a divorce days before she died.

I'm not saying relationships are all sunshine and rainbows, but we saw next to none of that with Shannon and Eddie. The sex was good, they both loved Chris, they cared for each other deeply...but love of his life?

I don't even know that he would be able to identify what that even means for him.

I think his grief has taken so much from him, he can vocalize how much time they spent apart in their marriage, how so much of it didn't work, but it's like it doesn't get all the way through to him. Kim is right when she says they have unfinished business, because that's what happens when you lose someone unexpectedly like that. It's clear Eddie has never gotten over it, maybe never even tried to process it, but seeing Kim brought it all back to the surface, similar to how realizing that all of the people in his unit were dead brought up his untreated PTSD.

He so carefully bottles everything up until it explodes, and this is no different, we're just seeing the explosion and the fallout of something he has tried to tamp down for five years.

Look y'all, I felt as bad for Kim as anybody could, she did not deserve to be used as a pawn in Eddie's strange journey with grief, but for her to show up with those fuck ass bangs and basically cosplay as Shannon to try and get Eddie to open but about his grief???? WHAT ARE WE DOING????

I think ultimately, this comes down to the fact that Kim is trying, in a very weird, very misguided way, to do a good thing. Eddie said he never got closure, and was trying to use her for that closure, so she thought that, if she just dressed up like Shannon, she could help him move on from her.

But for her, this is an acting job. For Eddie (and for Chris), the loss of Shannon is very, very real.

"Who's Kim?" WAS FUCKING CRAZY. ABSOLUTE FREAK ENERGY.

"I know I wasn't a perfect husband, I did my fair share of running too."

Babe...you ran the whole ENTIRE time...

"I came back because I couldn't imagine a life without...without you."

I'm so fascinated by this delivery, because is he looking at Kim and having a hard time saying that? Or is he looking at SHANNON and having a hard time saying that?

"And you know what? I still can't. But I'm still living it. But it's broken. I'm broken. And I can't fix it. This is the life I have now. This is the life from now on. The life...without you. You were supposed to be here with me, baby. And now you're not. And you never will be."

First of all...Ryan Guzman...actor that you are.

This monologue is so heartbreaking because that grief is still such a raw nerve. He's stuck in that moment in the back of the ambulance. wishing that he had done things differently.

But the thing is...Kim is talking to him as a person that she doesn't know, as a person who never existed.

Eddie asks why he never got a letter, but he doesn't mention that she wanted a divorce. He can mention all the times he left her, or she left him, or even the fights they had, but he can't seem to ever remember, ever think about that. His speech seems doubled sided. It's not just that she left them when she died...it's that she was going to leave him before, WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE. It's that she didn't want to make things work and he never got to ask her why.

And then...the other shoe.

"Mom?"

I think we all knew Chris would find out one way or another, and while I hope that conversation with "Shannon" was healing for Eddie, it is going to set Chris back years. Because he doesn't know that it's not her! For all he knows, his mom is back again, answering that Christmas wish he asked for five years ago all over again.

I'm gonna be honest, I love Eddie so much, more than anything, but I was...pretty fucking pissed the moment they walked through that door and he called Kim "mom." Because it was SELFISH, and Eddie has never been allowed to be selfish, not once in all his life, and I wish I could support this selfishness now, but not at the cost of Chris. AND I KNOW EDDIE FEELS THE SAME WAY! This is going to fuck him up just as much as it fucks Chris up!

I know that Tim has talked about how season 7 is kind of a mirror for season 4. He's trying to get back to that narrative and tell the story he wants to tell again. If we look at that, we know that Eddie is incapacitated (shot) at the end of season 4, and that, after his recovery, he tells Buck that he's in his will, that he will get Chris if something happens to him.

Well. Something is really happening to him now. And they couldn't have Eddie near death again, but what if he becomes incapable of taking care of Chris in another way? We know that Helena and Ramon are in the last episode too...what if someone calls them, and they plan to take Chris back to Texas, only for it to be revealed to them that Buck is the one that gets Chris, not them?

This plotline was so strange in so many ways, but I think it served a very specific purpose for Eddie to begin to move beyond his grief over Shannon. And while we are, in no way, finished with the fallout of it, I hope that this conversation with Kim will help him be able to move forward with his life, instead of sticking himself in relationships he thinks he needs to be in to fill the void in his life that he thinks Shannon left.

And yes, I'm a Buck and Eddie truther until the day I die, but I really just want Eddie to begin to process this raw grief, because this was clearly the first time he had even tried.

It seems like we have A LOT to deal with in the finale, and with everything going on, I'll be interested to see the aftermath of this moment, and how it effects Eddie and Chris' relationship in particular.