#that starts w a specific letter and sometimes it's easier to just be looking at the list of what they'll say

[liquidstar]

Need you guys to not judge my search history real quick bc I wanna share the fact that my phone brightness is on really low, and I kept trying to wipe away what I thought was a stain only to look closer and see it was in fact Xenacanthus.

[cosmereplay]

Day 19: Partners-in-crime

Rated General, Venli/Rushu, very mild RoW spoilers Link to fic on ao3; Link to Cosmere Femslash February Collection

Venli wrote the phrase as she would usually.

“Okay, let’s see how it looks now!” Rushu said in her characteristically light tone.

Venli demonstrated the new letter shape by writing a phrase in the listener script. She hummed to Annoyance.

“I have to admit, it is easier to tell the letters apart.” She hadn’t considered the effect of practice on the letters she’d devised, and once she was writing fluidly, two of them had started looking too similar. 

Rushu bared her teeth and nodded. “That’s great!”

Originally, Venli hadn’t wanted to leave the listeners, but her mother’s restoration had reassured her that short visits could be okay. And the benefits were numerous. She could influence trade to benefit her people. She had the ear of Queen Navani, too. All Venli had to do was ask, and she would be given the resources to make her the most famous listener in history.

Timbre pulsed to Reprimand inside her. Okay, so Rlain might have been the one who got her access to Navani’s scholars. But still, the work, and the credit, was going to be hers.

Venli glanced at the human woman beside her, suddenly feeling guilty. “Your adjustment to the eleph is going to make the listener script much clearer. Thank you,” she said to Appreciation. 

“Oh, what Rhythm is that?” Rushu asked, and started digging through her mass of papers. “Hold on, I want to write it down.” Apparently she was also working on a notation for the Rhythms to help humans, though Venli didn’t think it would be particularly helpful. You either heard them or you didn’t.

Still, she wanted to give something back. Rushu had not just been helpful, she’d been uncommonly cheerful, and the feeling had started rubbing off on Venli. 

“Appreciation,” she said, and Rushu, unable to find whatever page she’d been looking for, started a fresh one, jotting something down in Alethi.

“Can you hum it again please?” Rushu asked, and Venli drew a breath.

Just then, Venli heard a rumble. “Is it possible to hear a highstorm from up here?” she asked to Confusion, looking out the window. She didn’t see any storm.

Rushu grabbed her stomach. “Oh, storms!” she exclaimed. “I mean, not a storm! The storm is in my stomach,” she said, baring her teeth again. It was either a smile or she was in pain. It was hard to tell with humans.

“In that case, let’s get you some dinner.” Venli started to separate her own stack of pages from Rushu’s drifting piles.

Her study partner moaned, looking at a wrist fabrial. “Don’t worry about it, Venli,” she said. “The dinner window is closed. I’ll just have to wait until breakfast.”

Venli turned to look at her to make sure she’d heard properly. “What do you mean, dinner window? Can’t you just open it again?”

Rushu laughed. “It’s an expression. In the ardentia we have specific times that we’re allowed to eat, but sometimes I forget it’s time to eat and I have to wait until the next time starts.”

“That’s crazy,” Venli blurted, then attuned Reprimand at herself. That was a rude thing to say about someone else's religion, even if it was true.

Timbre pulsed to Determination inside her gemheart, and Venli started to hum in agreement. “Come on, let’s get you some food!”

“But…it’s against the rules!” Rushu leaned in close, speaking in a whisper.

“Well you may not be crazy but your rules are dumb,” Venli decided, and started putting away her pages. Who ever heard of being hungry, and having food, but not being allowed to eat? Venli stood and took Rushu’s hand before she could argue against her own nutrition any longer. “Come on!” she said to Confidence, and led her out.

Soon, Rushu had allowed Venli to direct her to the ardents’ kitchens, though Rushu’s eyes were getting wider and wider as they approached. The smell from the kitchen was acidic to Venli’s tastes, but she was sure that Rushu was used to it.

“Tell your stomach to stop rumbling,” Venli whispered. She drew a breath of Stormlight and poked a hole in the stone of the doorframe, allowing her to peek inside.

“I can’t,” Rushu complained. “It just does its own thing. Oh, it smells so good.”

There was a man inside, bald and robed like an ardent. He was sitting at a large table in the middle of the kitchen and reading a small book. At the far end of the room was a large cauldron with steam rising from it. Venli shook her head, wondering at the strangeness of the Alethi.

“Okay, you draw out that man, and I’ll grab a bowl of nasty curry for you,” Venli whispered.

“What do I say!?” Rushu whispered with those wide eyes and bared teeth. She clung to Venli’s clothing.

Has she never broken a rule before? Venli wondered. What kind of life did she lead? She looked Rushu in the eyes, taking her by the shoulders. “It doesn’t matter. Just distract him,” she said to Confidence. She patted Rushu on the back, then opened the door, hiding behind it.

Rushu groaned. 

“Oh, hello Rushu,” the man said, and his tone sounded especially dead, even for a human. “You really haven’t changed since you were young, have you? I keep telling you, if you just apply yourself, you will remember when it’s time to eat. Stop ignoring your body’s signals.”

“Ardent Annilan,” Rushu said. “I’m so sorry to interrupt you but…but…”

Come on, Rushu! Venli thought.

“...but there’s been a disturbance upstairs and…and they need your help to clean up!” Rushu stammered.

The ardent sighed deeply, then slowly left with heavy footsteps, passing Rushu in the hallway. “If I’ve told Hillin once, I’ve told her a thousand times...” he mumbled angrily as he passed.

Venli snuck in, then started opening cupboards, looking for bowls. 

“Why didn’t you help, if they need someone so bad?”

“They, uh…they asked me to get more people.”

“So? Off with you then! Find more people to help! I won’t be cleaning up messes all on my own,” the man's voice echoed from the stone hallway.

Venli heard a squeak, then quick footsteps that faded away. Storms, they should have decided on a meeting place. And where were the storming bowls? 

Always in the last place you look. She could almost hear her mother’s voice, tinged with Amusement, as she found them in a low cupboard, with literally every other door in the room hanging open.

As she started ladling the curry into the bowl, Venli heard heavy footsteps approaching. Now that Rushu was gone, he’d apparently decided not to bother even checking out her lie.

Venli was trapped!

---

“So, how did you escape?” Rushu asked through a mouthful of food. They were sitting together in a little-used hallway. Venli had found her scurrying around on the floor above, seemingly unable disobey the other ardent’s instructions even though she couldn’t complete them. Poor woman. Venli was going to have to help her get used to breaking stupid rules.

Just then, a small hand reached out, holding a flatbread. “She Elsecalled. I saw it.”

“Lift?” Venli asked to Surprise, though if anyone was going to find them in a dim corridor, Lift would've been one of the first on her list.

Rushu eyed the flatbread, then took it greedily. “Oh. Thank you!” she said, and immediately started digging in.

“Hey, I was trying to be mysterious,” Venli complained. “I would ask what are you doing wandering random halls, but…it’s you.”

The girl bared her teeth, her chin held high. “I remember those who forgot their flatbread!” she said with her hands on her hips, then scampered off.

Rushu laughed, and Venli hummed to Amusement. Their eyes met.

“Thank you,” Rushu said around her food. 

“You’re welcome,” Venli said to Praise. “You deserve food when you’re hungry.”

“I–I don’t know about that, but thank you anyway,” Rushu said, more softly, and this time Venli could tell that she was smiling.

Timbre pulsed to Anticipation inside her, but Venli spoke to Appreciation. “I’m glad I could do something good for you,” she said. “I’m not used to people thanking me.”

“And I’m not used to people putting up with my forgetfulness,” Rushu said.

They looked at each other again, and Rushu passed her a piece of bread. As they chewed together, Venli thought, well, maybe she wouldn't mind sharing a little bit of scholarly credit with Rushu.

[6okuto]

🍙 for @satorisoup from my fruits basket :3

Long Post. but i (Rlly) summarized the questions for viewing ease 🫡

1) life & school

i Am nervous about school hbdfhbg i’m a sociology major!! ^^ love soc but i switched to honours so i have to keep my gpa up, and most of my classes this year are really reading/writing/presentation heavy.. plus i'm trying a full course load for the first time so doing my thesis next yr will be easier, but i'm already easily stressed and burnt out.. lol.. ;; it's probably fine though

life’s getting busy.. and i’m not sure my cosplay will get here in time for my con but it’s ok tbh! the good outweighs the bad for those things. i wish i had money for the con outside my grants/loans but LOL that's life 

2) celebrating my birthday with keiji :3

tmi maybe. i haven’t had a great birthday since i was 15/16 to be honest FBHBDJ i'm so burnt out and depressed in dec that the past few years i haven’t done anything at all LOL but hearing this,, keiji makes it his mission to give me a good one ^^ ! 

he takes the day off and makes sure the day is just for us! practices making heart shaped pancakes and cooks breakfast.. i walk in on him in the kitchen super focused and accidentally scare him LOL he wanted it to be a surprise but it’s ok!! i watch and talk while i wait

it’s usually cold so i don't go anywhere ;; but we still have fun!! it’s nothing crazy,, we just talk, put on a show while we work on a puzzle or bake… play some co-op games.. order dinner.. yeagh

if it isn’t awful outside, we might make a little snowman or snow angels at the park nearby :]

he gets birthday gifts separate from his christmas ones.. since they're so close my birthday’s kinda overshadowed & i tell people to get one gift or none but keiji refuses!! he writes a long heartfelt letter, commissions art of us & our cat, and buys custom matching necklaces + little crochet accessories + ribbon 🙂‍↕️ (also macarons. i rock w macarons.)

3) favourite aki scene :3

his morning routine changed my life. they didn’t have to do that (not in the manga) but they did… my beautiful domestic soft morning dreams… it’s so Aki… and then i think about how he’d include u in his routine when ur together the way he does with denji and power… ouh..

4) art app + ur new stylus :0

looks down and kicks rocks. krita user over here. not that anything’s wrong with krita. i just feel lame when i see brushes i want because of course they’re never for krita. but it’s cool! how's ur new pen!! bro sometimes krita’s pressure sensitivity doesn’t work on start-up and i didn’t realize i could just restart the window settings . i kept reinstalling it. it’s fine but Wow i was miserable for so long (Months. like a stupid poopoo head)

5) Secret Art Opinions.

olivia wilde nodding gif. smoking duck gif. no one knows what i know no one’s seen what i’ve seen. BEAUTIFUL!! PERF!! i love his smile and jewelry (🤯) and hair and EVERYTHING!! your art style is SOO lovely cutieful lene!! and a 17 layer max seems nonsensical?! HELP.. how big is your canvas.. what app are you using bc isn't there ones made for what u want to try.. I believe in U!! no matter what i’m sure it will turn out awesome!!! he would be so flattered. his lips would wobble and he'd gasp/whine and hug and kiss u like WHAT!! FOR HIM..?..!!! yeah.

6) akaashi and i’s song :00

wanna say i will by mitski but that’s gonna be in every self-ship playlist of mine. maybe home by reese lansangan.. hesitate to say it’s Our Song but it’s a good one!!

My bones are safe / And my heart can rest / Knowing it belongs to you / My world is changed / And it's cradled by / The comfort that is you

7) monster lover post + ones i like

i wish i had good specific hear me out's but i don’t consume a lot of media with them so the ones i can think of are super basic and boring… i’d need a list in front of me so i could smash or pass. (if u have any in mind let me kneow.) but

the teacher from the girl from the other side. Like it’s my fault. doting adoptive self-sacrificial father figure DON’T TALK TO ME. also i must mention tokoyami. + shirou from BNA if he counts

tai lung from kung fu panda just once. the plague doctor (scp-049) obviously

probably some transformers. i like bumblebee 🩷 THE PACIFIC RIM JAEGERS . gipsy danger of course. striker eureka of course. gipsy avenger & november ajax & valor omega (Sorry.). azure defiant omgg PILIPPINS! 🇵🇭🇵🇭

i can usually get behind a “hear me out” if it isn’t like.. super slimey(?) or spikey. they could all hurt me but anything Very sharp/spikey i’m like nooo owwww ouchie nooo..

8) JJK since hell started on earth (+ lenoso!)

I Have been keeping up. unfortunate for my happiness. but Dear God. finding that out two hours after a comm and on FORTNITE is CRAZY? I’m so sorry. I get it. there’s like 3 vids and 6 pics of me crying. …did u at least win the fortnite match. i thank god every day my main thing is HQ because i just watch guys play volleyball. the manga.. a bit exciting.. hoping for an Ok outcome… maybe if gege has love and megan thee stallion in his heart

9) demon slayer opinions (+ genya specifically)

i watched the first season of kny but dropped it after hebfhsbjb nothing against it, just not rlly my cup of tea!! but i know quite a few deaths and the manga ending.. i don’t have a fave demon though.. i liked tanjiro + giyuu + sabito (predictable x3). also fond of rengoku (predictable) and mitsuri/obanai (predictable). Is akaza awesome and beautiful. i don't rlly know genya but i’ve seen him and his brother!! I will like him In Ur honour!!! ur friend reporting u for an edit is crazyehsbfjhb STAY STRONG… GENYA! i’m sure he’s fantastic!!

10) bnha + izuku thoughts!

Who’s calling izuku ugly. ☹️ i get u btw Like it’s my fault i’m always fond of the main characters and want the best for them. i don’t usually read stuff for him bUT i fr see the appeal, and he can be soo super interesting/fun to write and read about!! AND HE’S NOT UGLY!! ☹️ he’s very cutieful handsome. grown up deku… vivid and beautiful in my mind… 

11) favourite food, drink, etc. :3

rice . LOL i don’t think i have a favourite food but i love pinoy chicken dishes! my mom's adobo + caldereta + niligang manok. also been eating chorizo de cebu lately.. yummay..

sweet drinks.. frappes & taro boba… i need to expand my palette but y'know. and my fav soda is crush

i said this but i Love Macarons. you give me a plate of macarons i’m inhaling that shit like kirby. also sapin sapin and cheesecake! a great cake in general is so yummayyy

big hazelnut creme chocolate fan. I Love hazelnut chocolate. started when i was a child with kinder eggs and purdys chocolate hedgehogs and here i am

fav cereal is kellogg's krave. obvious chocolate fan here

SUSHI VIBES IS SO INTERESTING i’m pretty sure i’ve never had a piece. like ever. i do like fish… do u have any fave sushi.. i doubt i’ll be trying any soon but for future reference!!

12) anything and everything else ^_^ (mammon + mlp ment.)

Lene i have stuff to talk about at all times and will overshare every time

YAGH! mammon is the avatar of greed and 2nd eldest brother of 7 in Obey Me: One Master To Rule Them All. i actually didn’t like him at first (I’m sorry.) but he grew on me real bad. it’s serious. he's very tsundere which is Not my type but. something happened. He's a softie.. he cares about you and everyone So Much.. he's very empathetic and emotionally intelligent even if he struggles with being vulnerable.. he can generally control his emotions better /gets angry less than his brothers… he gets teased/mistreated a lot.. he loves money and hates working but he loves U even more So Of Course He’d do/give up Anything 4 U.. he's insecure and has called himself worthless on his own Which Devastated Me So Bad i love this guy so much Let’s All Just. oh man.

i Did like MLP. i stopped watching at some point but i want to go back and watch it all.. predictably obsessed with princess cadance and shining armor. I wanted to be her and I wanted him. Predictably. i cried over BBBFF when i was little btw /pos but hm.. my fav show was gravity falls maybe. so good.

we finally fixed what was wrong with the water in the one bathroom in the house that has a bath tub. exciting because i’ve never taken a bath… want to see what it’s like… perhaps use a bath bomb 🤔..

don’t think i’ve processed we’re going to have another person living with us. wow

been thinking about p5 akira a lot. my stupid beautiful loser sopping wet cat idiot handsome prince guy. Do u think 13 year old me would be surprised i still like him or that my bff likes goro or that i ship akeshu. i have 150 ss's from the p5 vn. and when i say he's written like my version of akaashi keiji.. hah......

might deactivate at some point tbh. saying this because i don't think people will read this far so it's like a little secret convo but i feel like i've overstayed my time / don't rlly fit anywhere bshdjsd i'll click delete account and just Stare for a while. like at some point u think about it so much it's like.. girl stop clinging on and just do it. but i don't want to lose my stuff so it won't happen until i put it all somewhere else. which won't be soon because i'm lazy as shit so. that's life i guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️ def won't until i finish my event.. will see if i can at least make it to my blog anni if not my birthday 🤔 would probably come back at some point anyway. also my users... can't lose 6okuto r u joking...

been rocking with pleasure delayer by between friends & rock-paper-scissors by katzenjammer lately.

broken 3 nails this week and may unfortunately break a 4th. my stupid baka life. might just cut the rest and restart... they were all Even. 1/2 cm long bro.. why does this happen to me...

excited to call and ask about my joke bear plate in a few days. i'm 100% sure i didn't do an even number of coats for everything and it'll look wonky in places, but i think that's part of the appeal. the nia 6okuto joke bear brand

thank u for joining and asking lene!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🩷🩷 i like 2 talk so do not worry. would u like some q's back.. a similar amount.. less.. more.. let me kneow. meow

[starlightkun]

hiiii mel <3 i’m.. thinking of starting to write for nct.. mostly jaemin.. and i more or less have an idea for formatting but it’s been a really long time since i’ve had to do graphics for fic’s (like the banner and stuff!) and i was wondering if you had any tips for that? like where to find good pictures (solid backgrounds seem like the best choice for not clashing with the lettering, a problem i ran into unfortunately…) and also is there any particular place you get your fonts from? if you aren’t comfortable answering that (or any of this!) then that’s totally ok and feel free to just give general advice or ignore this completely :]

now i leave you with renjun… https://www.instagram.com/reel/C117-m9JGuo/?igsh=aXI1YmZ6M2YycHg1

hiii! under the cut!

so you've already got a good idea with using solid backgrounds for fic headers to make it easier for the text to show up! i source pretty much all my images from the groups/idols' official social medias. i just caution you not to take screenshots of say, instagram uploads, because this will degrade the quality of the image. either download it from twitter or wherehaveyou, or from an updates account like neocatharsis or wayvment here on tumblr! another word of caution: DO NOT DOWNLOAD TEASER IMAGES/PHOTOSHOOT IMAGES FROM CONTENT CREATORS WHO MAKE EDITS TO THE IMAGES, SUCH AS CHANGING THE COLORS, UN-WHITEWASHING, ETC., WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION. THAT IS THEFT FROM OTHER FANS. updates accounts like neocatharsis and wayvment simply reupload the original images posted by the entertainment company/idol in the exact same form without making changes to them. editors make alterations to the image and that new image is their own creative work, separate from the original one posted. you need the editor's explicit permission in order to use their edited version as a fic header.

i do all of my editing on my phone for my fics (except for the thin section dividers that i use, which i make in pirated photoshop cs6 so i can get specific dimensions, 540x2 pixels, and make the gradients super quick in a way that i know how to do. there may be a super easy way to do this w an app on ur phone too, that's just how i know how to)

anyway, if i have a photo that i really like, that i just knowwwww matches with the image of the guy in the fic in my head or smth, that i just rlly want to use but has a busier background, sometimes i'll use the portrait editing settings on my phone to blur the background a little bit and that makes the text a lot more legible (i have a samsung but im 99% sure iphones can do this too)

i typically don't bump it past 1 or 2, or the edges of the blur start looking a bit harsh, and i find that i don't really need more than this for the text to pop against the background anyway!

as for putting the text on the photos, i've the used the app phonto for years! it's completely free, doesn't put any watermark on your photos, comes with a bunch of fonts pre-installed, isn't super ad-heavy (it has a rlly small banner ad all the time at the top, and only shows u a skippable 10s ad when u save a finished photo), and you can download fonts from the internet to install straight into the app!

my favorite free font website is dafont.com, i literally will spend hours just browsing on there looking at fonts to download lmao. anyway here's how i find fonts for stuff and download, install, and use them with dafont and phonto:

once you have phonto downloaded, open dafont.com

up at the top, it has a bunch of different categories of fonts. for this example, i chose fancy > groovy, and then on this first page, i liked this font called "lostar" (there's also a search bar up there, but it only searches font names, not kinds of fonts, so if you're looking for a groovy-feeling font and you searched "groovy," only fonts with the word "groovy" in the name would come up)

i then press download, and open in my browser (i use firefox btw, which is why it looks like this lol). make sure you're opening the .zip file with the phonto app (it opens directly into into phonto on my phone, you may have to choose to open the .zip file using the phonto app from several options, instead of your phone's file explorer or some other app on your phone)

in the phonto app, you have to click install, then install again (it gives you the option to rename it, but i just keep the original font name bc why would you rename it?).

that READ THIS.txt file is a message from the font maker, it's the personal use license for the font (most of the fonts on dafont.com are free for personal use ONLY, and these .txt files that are contained in the .zip files are notes from the font makers telling u what u can and can't use the fonts for. generally, as long as ur not a business, u should be good this is not legal advice, please read them. also there's usually little thank you notes from the font makers in here as well!)

click ok.

then you've got to slap some text on an image. you can choose an image from your camera roll, use one of their plain images, or open a pre-saved work-in-progress. for this example i used one of their premade gradients to make it easy

type whatever it is you want, click font. the left tab is the pre-installed fonts, the middle tab is the fonts that you've downloaded from elsewhere. here's the lostar we just got!

oh can't see it.

there we go! how fun! i'll probably use this in a fic header in the future. download button in the top right.

[clotpole-art]

Retrospective: Illustrated Merlin Alphabet Challenge

Finally finished the Merlin Alphabet Challenge, so here's the artist notes no one asked for! See below the cut for comments on each piece by order of creation. Be warned folks, it's a long post.

Before we begin: credit to @merlin-gifs for the challenge, which can be found here. It's awesome, go do it.

First thing you should know is I did probably 80-90% of these while on phone calls or in Zoom meetings and that's reflected in the simplicity of most pieces -- the compositions aren't complicated, the lines aren't refined, the coloring is slapdash. If you noticed variation in quality of the pieces, that's why!

Second: I tried to focus on trying something new for each drawing. Didn't always happen, but this challenge did succeed in helping me push me out of my own comfort zone.

Without further ado...

A is for Arthur Pendragon

Textures, baby! Brushed metal of his armor, scratchy linen texture of his shirt, wispy softness of hair and skin. I'd recently gotten my tablet out of storage after a year of figuring out where the hell I was going to live and this was one of the first pieces of digital art I spent time on. Glad it was Arthur kicking us off!

B is for the Beginning of the End (1x08)

Fun fact, I did not draw this with my tablet. I drew it with my work computer's touchscreen. It was awful, would not recommend.

C is for Camelot

I wanted to get used to different brushes, so landscape of the castle it was! There are brushes that help with drawing grass; I did not use said brushes and my wrist hurt afterward. That being said, I really enjoyed working on this and it was one of the few pieces I didn't do while multitasking.

D is for Daegal

Also drawn on my work computer's touchscreen, not my tablet. I didn't learn my lesson from B and the experience was even worse. This is my least favorite piece which sucks because it's Daegal so I'm slated to redo this sometime in the near future. Gotta do our boy justice.

E is for Elyan

Oh, I adored drawing this. Elyan often gets shafted in terms of fandom appreciation so I made sure to choose Elyan for this prompt and to participate in the Elyan fest. Plus, I love a good ghost story and figuring out a way to include the druid spectre was fun. Didn't multitask on this piece because Elyan deserved my full attention.

F is for Freya

Ho boy. This piece. I have such mixed feelings on this drawing. Really really didn't like it after I'd decided it was done and very nearly scrapped the whole thing. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn't render into reality and it frustrated me SO MUCH. Looking back, I like it much better than I did when I first created it.

G is for Gwaine

What can I say, he's pretty when he's cold. I didn't stretch too much with this one -- it's my normal drawing style, I was just trying to find a brush that mimicked the softness of pencil.

H is for Hunith

Another one that didn't stray too far from my comfort zone. I was stupid sick and slammed at work, so a motherly Hunith manifested herself. I blame the bad brush choice on the cold medicine.

I is for Isolde

I woke up and chose violence! Tried to vary my figure drawing style a little in this piece but my brain resisted, resulting in... this. Not mad at it, but not happy with it either. Poor Isolde.

J is for Juggling

Ah, this lovely piece was drawn during a particularly vexing meeting at work. Fun fact, there's another version of this line art that's less about Merlin's stress and more about mine.

K is for Knights of Camelot

Continuing the theme of doodling through bad news and shit meetings. Like I said above, normally meeting doodles aren't complex because I'm concentrating on something else. This one was more involved because I didn't want to concentrate on the meeting. I have a few issues with this from a technical standpoint (perspective, my nemesis) but it's still one of my favorites. Tried some funky coloring technique, didn't hate it.

V is for Vibrant Colors

And here is where we said fuck the rules and started going out of alphabetical order! This one was really fun to do and I loved kicking off Albion Party with this as my first submission. The colors were a challenge (as I hoped they would be) and this is the first time I had to do some color tweaking midway though and after finishing the coloring process. Vibrant Arthur, my beloved. This started as a multitask doodle but took dedicated time to finish.

O is for Old Religion

The concept for this one was buzzing in my head for a bit before a quote-prompt solidified it. I adore the thought of more visible, tangible representations of Merlin as the son of the elements, of "magic itself" -- not just sun-gold eyes, but sea-water hair and sandstone-skin. A complement to the vibrant Arthur portrait.

S is for Sorcerers

When I said I wanted to challenge myself, I wasn't kidding. Ho boy, this was fun but frustrating. I wanted to completely illustrate a gif. So I did. Will I do something like this again? Maybe. A while from now.

M is for Morgause

See above -- same illustrated gif style so at least I was able to reuse some drawings. Poor Morgause ended up looking a little wretched here because I was mentally done with this when I was drawing her. Love the concept of tarot cards + Merlin but others are doing it so I won't continue this series.

Z is for Zzzz

This one was specifically done to test out some custom brushes I made in Krita to make abstract background drawing easier for me. I think they turned out well! Plus who doesn't love bb iridescent Aithusa.

L is for Leon, P is for Percival

Quick, minimal doodles of the boys! Mentally, I was going for a Brady's-style retro ensemble cast TV show credits feel. Not mad at it! Some boys look closer to their actors than others (I think my brain broke drawing Percy, my apologies to Tom Hopper).

T is for Tristan

It wasn't until after I posted this that I realized there was more than one Tristan in Merlin. Could have drawn Isolde's bf but I drew Ygraine's dumb jock undead brother instead. Had some fun with dark greys and blacks here regardless.

Q is for Queen Annis

Best royal in Albion, bar none. I tried a different coloring technique here and I kinda like it! may make it my go-to but we'll see. Old habits are hard to break. Also: our queen deserved more badass clothes.

X is for Arthur X Merlin

Oh, be still my shipper heart. Doodled and colored during a meeting. I had hoped to spend more time on it outside of multitasking but alas, work is a bitch. This one is slated for a rework sometime in the future; I adore the concept too much to let it go without creating another version of this that isn't an utter mess.

U is for Uther's Ward

And here's my attempt at forgoing line art. Not fun, do not like.

Y is for Young Warlock

Channeled some pain into this one. Those are the dead eyes of someone who had been told that he'd succeeded when his friend died. That the destiny he'd been expecting to carry on his shoulders into old age was done and dusted before he turned 30. Grief plus the existential dread of the aimless immortal. Oof. One of my favs.

N is for Nimueh, R is for Rising Sun, W is for Will

And we end on this sorry offering. I was away from home for a while without my tablet and I just got tired of waiting. So, pen doodles at the airport. This was a challenge in its own right because 1. pen only and 2. I wasn't able to pull Netflix up for a reference on the fly. Which is why Will's face is obscured and Nimueh looks.... not like Nimueh lol.

In summary: this was a goddamn joy to do. I finished 26 letter prompts in approximately 21 weeks, which exceeded my own unspoken goal of filling one letter per week. I found a good, happy corner of the Merlin fandom after a years-long hiatus away from being a fandom creator. If you did make it this far with me, thanks for reading my inane comments and giving this little project even a moment of your time -- I'm so grateful.

[bungou-stray-dingus]

Wilting Flowers

Pairing : Fyodor x Fem!Reader

A/N : I love Fyodor, so he's of course going to be a part of Angstember! 

T/W : Breaking and Entering; Violence; Death; 

Word Count : 2.7K

Angstember Day 3

You knew what his job consisted of, you knew the risks, but he always made you feel so safe. How could you not feel as such, nothing had happened to him, and he promised that as long as you were his, nothing would ever happen to you either. You trusted him, you believed in him. Maybe it was silly, maybe it was foolish to put your life in the palms of his hands, but what were the chances of something actually going wrong?

He was sitting on the couch, his face mere inches away from his laptop screen. Working from home, he didn't do it often, but on days that he did you tried to help him, making sure he had enough to eat, enough to drink, making sure he took breaks occasionally. This was one of those moments, you brought the glass of water over, placing it on the coffee table that his feet were propped up on. "Darling, please drink. Also, don't get so close to the screen. You'll hurt your eyes." You said, sitting next to him on the couch. You knew not to ask him about his work, he tried to keep you out of the loop, knowing that it would be dangerous if you knew too much. You did sometimes catch a glimpse, but most of the time it was just black screens with confusing letters and numbers that made absolutely no sense to you.

He leaned back only slightly, but for you it was enough. He reached his arm out, his eyes still glued to the laptop screen as he grabbed the glass of water and took a quick sip before placing it back on the table. You knew that would be the most he would do, it was just to make you happy honestly. He knew you wouldn't complain, he had drank the water, you didn't say to drink all of it. He did move away from the computer screen, you hadn't told him specifically how far he should move though. You sighed, kissing his cheek quickly before getting up off the couch. He wouldn't be "available" for the next three or four hours, so you decided to keep yourself busy around the apartment.

"Do you know what you want for dinner, darling?" You asked, leaning over the kitchen counter to stare into the living room at him. He was still buried in his work, and you thought he hadn't heard you. "Fyod-"

"Don't worry about it, love. I have to go out for a bit. Make whatever you like. Don't wait up for me." The words were rushed as he closed his laptop, standing up from the couch and walking over to where you were standing, kissing you gently on the forehead before walking out the door.

Something must have happened, he usually didn't leave like that. It had your heart pounding, you were worried about him, it made your stomach turn whenever he left. Would he come back home? The next time you saw him, would it be in a casket? It gave you nightmares, you hated his line of work, but you knew that he did it for the greater good. You would never tell him these things, not because it would upset him, he would never stop doing what he did, but if you brought up your fears to him he would kindly tell you to leave. His work always came first. That was something that you had come to terms with, and it didn't bother you, it's just that you loved him so much, you didn't want him to get hurt.

You started preparing dinner, hoping that maybe your mind would be taken off of the fact that he was out somewhere and you didn't know where he was and he could possibly be injured or dead. Your hands were shaking as you shaped the dumplings, the sound of the boiling water in the pot behind you would have been soothing if you weren't so on edge. He always told you that if you ever got scared, or if you ever worried about him that you should listen to classical music. You had never felt the need to do that up until now. There was just something about the way he rushed out of the apartment.

The Pelmeni was boiling in the pot, it was one of his favorite dishes, something that you knew he would actually eat. You walked over to the radio, the shelves surrounding it were stacked with CD's and cassette tapes of some of his favorite classical artists. You didn't know much about the composers, but you knew that the ones at the top were the ones he liked the most, so you popped in the cassette and turned up the volume. The strings began, the beautiful song of Kamarinskaya by Mikhail Glinka filled the apartment. You recognized it immediately, he would often turn it on when he was enjoying a cup of tea after work. It was soothing, it made you feel like he was there with you.

The strings crescendo'd as you stirred the dumplings, then you heard the glass shattering. You turned to see that one of the windows had been busted, then the living room began filling with smoke. You lifted your hand to cover your mouth and your nose as you backed away from the smoke, but it filled the room so quickly, and it was spreading just as fast. "This is where it came from!" You heard the voice outside the door, then it was kicked in. You fell back, sliding down the wall, hoping that they wouldn't find you in the smoke cover.

You heard things getting knocked over in the living room, the music had come to a complete stop, CD's and cassette tapes were thrown to the floor as they ransacked your living room. You were holding your breath, but you couldn't do it anymore, you felt like you were choking. It was dumb, you knew it as soon as you did it, you took a deep breath and immediately started coughing. You couldn't get yourself the stop, the smoke had filled your lungs and it stung the back of your throat. "Did you hear that? Find them!" You heard the voice, and then the footsteps, they were coming closer. How many were there? What did they want?

They had found you, you saw their legs as they surrounded you entirely. "Wh-what do you want?" You asked weakly, still gasping from the painful smoke inhalation. You got no answers, they lifted you off the floor, yanking you up by your arms roughly. Your arm had been pulled from the socket and you winced in pain as they continued to pull you across the room. They had gas masks on, you couldn't see their faces, they were all dressed in black, the only thing that differentiated them was their height differences. "P-please..."

There was one figure, taller than the others, but they all looked to him as you pleaded. No words were exchanged, they just nodded, walking out of your apartment leaving behind only the tall one. "Such a shame, you're so beautiful. This is going to hurt me as much as it's going to hurt you." You didn't recognize the voice, the only thing you could make out was that this person was a male. You didn't know what he was talking about though. What did he mean it was going to hurt him as much it it'll hurt you?

"What are you t-talking about!? What did I d-do?" You asked, trying to pull away from him. His hold was strong and firm on your shoulders but he didn't let go. Every time you moved he would just grip onto you tighter, his fingers digging into your shoulder blades. You yelped as his thumb pressed deeper before pushing you down onto the couch. "I don't underst-stand!" You cried out, the smoke was slowly clearing away, but he never removed the mask. He hovered menacingly over you, his hands clasped behind his back, his head tilted as he stared down at you.

"You don't understand? I'll make this easier for you. I really don't want to hurt such a beautiful woman, so just tell me where he is." You froze, finally understanding why they were here. They had managed to trace Fyodor back to the apartment, the one place he said you would be safe, the one place he had said they would never find you. They had finally tracked him down, but he wasn't here. Did he know they were coming? Is that why he left? Did he think that you would be safer if he wasn't there, that you wouldn't get hurt?

"I... I don't know what you're talking about..." You mumbled, dropping your gaze down to your lap. Flour hand prints covered your black leggings. The man grabbed your chin, jerking your head up to look at him. He was rough, he said that he didn't want to hurt you, but from the way he was acting he either really enjoyed it, or he just didn't care.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. So, tell me where he's at. I won't hesitate to kill you, I've killed many people for lesser things. You're covering for a terrorist, and that's a crime in itself." His grip was tight, if he squeezed any harder he would break your jaw, but he didn't dare do that yet, you wouldn't be able to talk if that were the case.

"I'm not a rat..." You spat at him, his hand pulled back only for his open palm to connect with your cheek. The sting resonated through your entire face, you shuddered from the sheer shock of being slapped. It hurt, it stung, your eyes welled with tears, but he only seemed to enjoy it more. He liked seeing you in pain. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back.

"He's a rat, and you're protecting him... That makes you a rat."

"I'm not telling you where he is. You can hurt me all you want, I'd never tell you."

"Is that so. Hmm... that makes you useless. Might as well have a little fun before taking the trash out."

His fingers flexed as he extended his hand toward you, his hand curving as it got closer to your throat. You could have struggled, you should have struggled... and maybe you would have struggled if you knew that you had a chance of making it. You didn't though, there was no chance for you. Against this man you were entirely helpless, the way that he spoke, the way he loomed over you, he was much like Fyodor, and you knew that it would be far easier to accept death then to fight against it. His hand closed around your throat, the breath that you had just begun to take was forcibly cut off, it burnt in your airways, your lungs worked desperately to obtain oxygen to no avail.

"You won't even fight against me. How sad, what a pitiful death this will be. Was it worth it?"

His hand never let up, he didn't let go to allow you to answer his question, but you wondered if it really was worth it to protect Fyodor. As his fingers squeezed tighter into the sides of your neck, blocking off your blood flow, your vision was becoming cloudy, you remembered why you were doing this, why you were willingly going through this, willingly sacrificing yourself to save him.

You loved Fyodor, you loved him more than you loved yourself, that much was clear. Would he do the same for you? No, definitely not. He had a mission to complete, but you knew that he loved you, he would do anything for you, anything but what you were doing for him in this moment. His mission was important, he was cleansing the earth of sin, he was creating a better world for everyone to live in, that was something worth dying for.

Trying to breathe was hopeless, so you stopped trying to live, allowing your mind to replay your favorite memories with Fyodor, the way he would smile at you, how his arms felt when they were wrapped around you. Dying was peaceful when your mind was in the right place. You weren't scared anymore, the last image in your mind was Fyodor laying next to you, his eyes staring deep into yours as the morning sun accented his beautiful features. Death was as beautiful as you could make it.

Fyodor called constantly while he was gone, his mission had him away for a week this time. He was beginning to worry on the second day, but he couldn't do anything but worry. He was being tracked by the Agency, but he knew that once he lost them he would return home to you. He was hoping that you didn't respond to keep him safe, or because you were worried about someone tracing your phone. He wasn't prepared for what he came in to, he wasn't ready, this wasn't how it was supposed to be...

He pushed the door open, it was late into the night, the lights were off, but everything was still, silent, calm in a way. There was a sense of lingering dread in the air, and he felt almost scared to turn on the lights, something in his chest told him it wouldn't be good, there was nothing pretty waiting to be seen when those lights came on, but he found the switch anyway and he flicked it on.

His eyes zeroed in on your body, pale and lifeless, propped on the couch. How long had you been gone? How long had you been like this? He took the remaining steps closer, reaching out to grab your hand that was sprawled out at your side, it was stiff, it was cold. Your lips were turned up at the corners, they were a mixture of dark blue and purple. His fingers moved over your face, closing your eyes. He scanned over your body, he saw the dark purple hand print on your throat, his heart seemed to stop for a second as he imagined your last minutes. How much pain had you been in? How long had you suffered before finally letting go?

He laid you down on the couch, your body was stiff as a board, but even in death you seemed so fragile. You were still beautiful, even with all the color drained from your face. For once, your body temperature matched his, and it still felt like you were smiling at him. As he situated your body on the sofa a small note fell out from your jacket pocket. His eyes zeroed in on the folded square of paper, kneeling down to pick it up.

"September 4

Vermin has no place in this world. Rats only cause problems, but whats worse is people who try to protect those rats. It truly is a shame that she tried to protect you, she could have lived. She didn't struggle, she didn't fight, is that what you taught her to do? Was your life more important than hers? Or maybe you hadn't even planned for us to track you back here. Either way, she's only one of the many casualties, and it's your fault. Maybe you'll avenge her, maybe not... but if you choose to, we'll be waiting for you."

His fists tightened around the paper. crumbling it into a ball in his hand before throwing it across the room. The room was trashed, his records had been destroyed, but none of that mattered, nothing mattered anymore. You were gone, and no matter how much he worked to make the world a better place, it would still be dark without you in it.

[victorromeofox-blog]

VRF Website and Community

VRF Website and Community - Soft Opening Coming Soon!

I've been a little less active here in the last little bit, but have been working behind the scenes to build up the VRF website and planning around community-building.  I'm just about ready to start opening the site to semi-public access and start inviting trusted people to the Discord within the next week!  There is some information below introducing some of the content and features of the site and Discord server.  Please contact me (Ask or email preferred) if you would like access - I recommend reading the rest of this post before you do, but it is not required.

If you’re looking to better understand BDSM and kink, participate in a community of rational, respectful, and conscientious kink practitioners, and contribute to protecting, uplifting, and helping others - while still enjoying some fantasies - you are exactly the type of person who would be a great fit for this space.

If you’re “just here for the porn”, this website and community are not going to be what you’re looking for.  They are specifically a pushback against that very mentality, and the rampant toxicity and problematic discourse in the online BDSM/kink space, especially CNC kink, and your needs will be better met elsewhere.  Same goes for those who are just out to get nudes, roleplay online, organize hookups, or find a submissive - there are other spaces geared toward that.

In the meantime, I'd like to explain what this all means to me, where VRF is headed next, and what factors I'm taking into consideration as I continue.  This is going to be a fairly reflective post - almost like a letter of intent - but I'm putting it out there primarily for transparency and also for those of you who want some insight into my thoughts and process.

VRF - A Quick Recap

When I started VRF in 2015, I didn't really have a goal.  I was just looking to curate the kinds of porn I enjoyed the most on Tumblr and occasionally added some captions that came to mind as I did - and accidentally cultivated a sizeable following.  As the blog grew and began to have more interactions with others on the network, I realized that I couldn't stay in-persona all the time - not without sending a potentially dangerous message - so I started answering asks and giving advice out of character, as myself.  These "real" interactions, as well as the reality checks that kept rolling in, set the tone for what VRF would become - and made me feel much more comfortable with running a blog featuring questionable content.

I stepped away from the blog and went on hiatus in 2016; I saw a sharp rise in hateful, bigoted, and violent voices online and no longer felt comfortable that my posts would remain firmly in the realm of fantasy for the majority of readers.  Although the original @violent-rape-fantasies was terminated in 2019, I made a fairly complete backup of the entire blog before it went down.  I returned in late 2020 to start again from scratch, try to rebuild my following, and reconnect with the community - that effort was terminated by Tumblr in 2021, leading me to the two blogs I currently have (@VictorRomeoFox-blog / @violent-rape-fantasies-2​) and to create a self-hosted website containing the original VRF archives with major quality-of-life improvements to the Tumblr experience.

This process made me consider what my goals are for VRF, how I want to achieve them, and what promises I make to the community as part of that journey.  

VRF - Mission and Values

VRF's mission is to be a safe, inclusive, and collaborative space that promotes affirmative consent, healthy relationships, and conscientious kink, where consenting adults can explore their kinks, enjoy fictional fantasies, and uplift one another without overbearing guilt or shame.

Let me quickly break some of this down:

safe: I want people to feel comfortable consuming and interacting with me and my content - not only the kinks and acts depicted in the fantasies, but in the entirety of the space that VRF projects, including knowing that their personhood, privacy, anonymity, and emotional safety are important to me.

inclusive: although I focus primarily on male-on-female scenarios, people from all walks of life are welcome so long as they are good citizens of the community and conscientious kink practitioners.  This also means rejecting hate, bigotry, and willful ignorance.

collaborative: VRF is discursive, both in-persona and out-of-character; the content and direction I take is often influenced by the conversations I have with followers, the asks and submissions I receive, and the state of the community as I see it.  I want to always be in conversation with the community to understand its needs and goals so that I can better meet them.

affirmative consent: as discussed in a previous post, I highlight affirmative consent because it centers around positive action as opposed to consent, which can be a passive state.  I believe this is critical for conscientious kink.

healthy relationships: the relationships we hold shape who we are, who we become, and how we interact with the world around us.  I believe that healthy relationships build healthier, happier lives - this concerns all relationships, from friendships to families to romantic or sexual partnerships.  I have seen less emphasis in this community on relationships, and interpersonal interactions in general, and think that this is a major oversight.

conscientious kink: kink can be dangerous or harmful when not practiced with care and consideration - not just for physical health, but for mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  It requires reflection, introspection, and communication in order to form intentionality - the understanding behind what you do, how you do it, and why you do it.

reducing guilt: this is one of the concerns I get most often from followers - how to reconcile their guilt for enjoying consensual non-consent, and whether it is morally wrong or an indication that something is wrong with them.  I believe that CNC, like most kinks, can be practiced in a conscientious way to reduce and mitigate the potential dangers, but that it requires consistent effort, education, and research.

Aside from these, I identified values which are important for me to maintain in order to meet the mission.  Some of them are:

transparency: I try to be as transparent as I can, while maintaining my privacy and anonymity, so that people know that I have nothing to hide.  I cannot build a safe space without building trust, and I can’t build trust without being honest and transparent.

leadership by example: if I am positioning myself as a resource and giving advice to others, I must embody the values I put forward and lead by example, not by words; otherwise, what I say is worthless and lacks substance.

data- and research-driven: I want to provide people with a deeper understanding of themselves and their kinks; while anecdotal information can at times be helpful, I want the things I posit to have weight and justification behind them.  This means an intersection of data, research, and analysis around all of the factors involved, including moral philosophy, psychology, sociology, and biology.

care and patience: these kinks are difficult and hurtful to some people, and confusing or conflicting to others.  I need to be caring, considerate, and patient in order for people to feel comfortable engaging with my content and interacting with me.

contextualized: these kinks and fantasies don’t exist in a vacuum and must be contextualized in order to remain conscientious of the relationship it maintains to the real world.  This means that I don’t want fantasies misrepresented as reality or reality misconstrued as fantasy, and the onus is on me to ensure that followers are seeing both sides of the equation.

quality over quantity: I have a limited amount of time that I can dedicate to VRF work, and want to make the best possible use of that time.  I want to focus on high-quality content, both in-persona fantasies and out-of-character advice, research, and resources, without worrying about how much or how frequently I’m posting.  It also means that I care far less about the number of followers and viewers I have, and much more about whether I am cultivating the kind of followers that match my vision for VRF and its community.

There are other factors and values as well, but these are the biggest ones for me.  They drive how I present myself, how I interact with the community, and what kinds of content I put forth.

VRF Website - Content and Features

What does the website allow me to do that I couldn’t on Tumblr?

No censorship, frustrating filters, or threat of termination - I can focus on my content without running into blockers at every turn, or worrying that I’m going to lose all my work without warning.

Better content controls, organization, and layout - I can group posts logically and have different ways for users to access and view them instead of being one monolithic stream of posts.

Tagging and search - I’ve tagged my archive with kinks, features, toys, actions, positions, locations, and more to make it easier to both find content that you want to see and avoid content that you don’t.  The VRF site features granular search controls, including tag combinations, so you can engage with the site how you choose.

Random Post/Random Caption - sometimes, you’re in the mood to mix things up.  Instead of seeing a temporally-sorted feed of posts, you can go to a random post or caption from the menu bar.

Clear disclaimers and view control - instead of my content being blended into a sea of posts, which creates difficulty in carving out that safe cognitive space for engaging with these kinks or necessitates rapid context-switching, all of my posts will be in one central repository with clear disclaimers where I have control over how things are viewed.

The VRF Archive - the content from the original @violent-rape-fantasies blog have been restored to the VRF website.

There are some downsides, of course - like the lack of network discovery, limited server space and resources, cost, maintenance, and effort.  But the benefits greatly outweigh the additional overhead.

VRF Community

What’s the VRF Discord community all about?

This is a new idea I’m playing with - I’m not new to Discord or community management, but combining that with VRF is a new endeavor for me.  Since I’m going to be shifting my focus from Tumblr to the VRF website, some of those network and community interactions from Tumblr will move to Discord instead, such as interacting with followers, taking requests, feedback, and suggestions, and delving deeper into kink philosophy, fantasy, and practice.

I’ve set up the Discord in a way that different sections can be partitioned - like general discussion, BDSM/kink discussion, CNC fantasies, member content (submissions), and so on.  The different sections are accessible to different levels of membership and verification to maintain that safe, inclusive, and collaborative space.  For example, agreeing to the rules and guidelines gives you access to the general discussion section; verifying your age gives you access to BDSM- and kink-related sections; and being an active and trusted member who contributes to the server over time gets you access to the private sections.

This will also be a much easier way to get in contact with me, and keep the majority of my interactions with the community in one place, instead of hunting across Tumblr messenger for both my accounts, Asks, Twitter, Discord DMs, Telegram, Kik, and email.

VRF - Next Steps and Future Work

In the next few weeks, the VRF website and Discord community will soft-open and move toward general opening.  This is a new direction for me, but after assessing my priorities and goals, it is the solution best suited for what I want to achieve.  I will continue to use Tumblr, but will likely be focusing the majority of my time on the website and Discord.

The mission and values I’ve identified leave quite a bit of room to explore various ways to express these kinks and share knowledge.  I’m not hard-set on VRF being a blog with porn and captions, and could see changes or pivots in the future.  I would love for this work to be able to generate some modest revenue in the future in order to cover basic operating costs, support survivors of abuse as well as kink education and safety, and commission custom content.  As an aside, if you read all of this, please start your request for access with the word “potato” in all caps to let me know you got this far.

I also want to move toward a more ethical and sustainable model of captions and fantasies.  My first step toward this is in creating gifs myself and fully crediting the source, which I started doing when I returned from hiatus.  Concurrently, I am working with my partner, who is an artist, to develop illustrations and animations to accompany captions instead of commercial pornography - we’re still in the R&D phase for this, but hope to share some early content soon (including a fantasy and sketch that we’re working on to accompany a follower submission).  Ideally, we would be able to collaborate with submitters and sex workers to create fully original, credited, and compensated content - but that’s a huge stretch goal for the future.

We are also considering other formats for fantasy and knowledge delivery, including a visual novel format or interactive media (i.e., games) if the art development turns out well and proves sustainable.  We’re both fairly busy people in our personal and professional lives, and in situations where we have to maintain a fairly strict separation between kink involvement and our everyday lives, so carving out time for VRF work is challenging at times!

I look forward to seeing folks on the VRF website and Discord community soon!

[gullethead]

Writing In Eternian

Hey! I made a post about a little season 5 easter egg yesterday (not linking it here because for some reason it blocks the post from showing in the tags)and while I was poking through the tags, I noticed that a lot of people want to learn how to use First Ones writing! Writing and orthography are actually things I'm really interested in, so I decided to make this guide for people. It's a bit more in-depth than the official press release, so if you just want to use that, feel free!

Here’s the original tweet from the She-Ra Twitter account, which has more examples: twitter. com /dreamworksshera/status/1055474341553623040

Here we go! Putting it under a break so it doesn't eat up your whole screen.

THE SOUNDS OF ENGLISH & THE IPA

So first of all, we need to start with a brief introduction to the IPA. (If you’re already familiar, you can skip to the next big heading.) Lots of languages use a lot of different letters or other characters to represent certain sounds, but when you're working with linguistics, you need to be able to say exactly what you mean. So, we made the International Phonetic Alphabet. This is a long list of individual letters and markings that represent very specific sounds, and you use them by placing them between slashes, like /d/, and sometimes to distinguish, you place the actual writing between corner brackets, like <d>. So for instance, /t/ and /h/ make the same sounds that <t> and <h> make in English, but <th> (usually) makes either the /θ/ or /ð/ sounds. These change based on where you live, but in general the consonants are the same for all English speakers.

Knowing this is important, because something I love about the First Ones alphabet is that it isn't just a letter substitution! Many "secret language" alphabets I've seen in kid's series (like Artemis Fowl, for instance) are just simple one-to-one substitutions for the Latin alphabet we use. But First Ones writing is actually very different! It uses the actual sounds made in the word. So if you wrote "cat" in the First Ones script (which I'm gonna call Eternian, after Eternia from He-Man, which flows better than "First Ones script"), it would actually look like "kat", because the letter c can be used for the sounds k or s, so it doesn't translate.

The alphabet we're using right now was created for the Latin language, derived from the Greek alphabet, which itself has a very long history behind it. English is NOT descended from Latin - it's a Germanic language, and the Germanic family is only kind of related to the Romantic family that developed out of Latin. However, a lot of our vocabulary has a Latin infusion because of mixing with Old French in the 1000s-1100s, and even before that, we used the Latin alphabet because it was the most common. This means that in order to express all the sounds we have, English speakers writing English had to combine different letters together; this, plus over a thousand years of different spellings and dialects, means that our orthography - our way of writing the sounds we say - is FUCKED. The Eternian alphabet is actually a much more efficient way of writing these sounds!

This is the total list of English consonants:

A few notes here:

To make sure you're not lost, /ŋ/ is <ng>, /j/ is <y>, /θ/ and /ð/ are <th>, /ʃ/ and /ʒ/ are <sh> and <zh> (the French <j>, not usually distinguished in English writing) respectively, and /tʃ/ and /dʒ/ are <ch> and the English <j> respectively.

Most consonants can come in voiced and unvoiced versions (although, because English is weird, these are called "fortis" and "lensis" because we pronounce them with different amounts of energy). /b/ is /p/, but pronounced using the vocal chords. Only the nasal sounds, the "approximants", and /h/ don't have pairs in English, although /h/ DOES actually have a common voiced pair, and you can technically pronounce the others voiceless in some languages although it's very rare.

The /x/ sound, famously the end of the Scottish word "loch", is only found in Celtic accents (Scottish, Irish, Welsh) and in the South African accent (because of influence from Dutch). Other English speakers realize it as /k/.

The /r/ sound is weird. What /r/ technically represents is a trill, like in the Spanish <rr>. However, in English, that trill is very rare; what we use <r> for is called a "postalveolar approximant", [ɹ̠]. However, it is usually easier just to write the letter r, so that's how we transcribe it for English's IPA.

English also sometimes has what are called "syllabic consonants", which are consonants that can act as the center of a syllable in the place of a vowel. In English, these are mostly /l/, /m/, and /n/. For instance, the word "bottle" is technically pronounced [ˈbɑɾl̩] in General American English, and the same goes for words like "rhythm" and "button"; however, because this would complicate things a lot, phonologists consider it to include a very small vowel, so with the example of "bottle", it would be /ˈbɑtəl/ instead.

The vowels are a bit more weird than the consonants. Our alphabet was originally created for Latin, which only has ten vowel sounds, long and short a, e, i, o, and u (although technically the short vowels are /a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ/ instead of /a e i o u/, because fuck it I guess). However, we have a MUCH different vowel "inventory" in English - instead of the uniform 10 paired Latin vowels, in General American English we have anywhere from 11-13 vowels depending on your interpretation along with three diphthongs (combinations of two vowels used as a single vowel):

If you look at the British (Received Pronunciation) chart it's much different from that, which is why the accents are so distinct; however, Eternian is made with GA English in mind, so I'm just going to focus on that.

More notes:

/ə/ (a schwa, like in "uh"), /ɜ/ (very similar and hard to distinguish in writing), and /ʌ/ (something between an "uh" and an "ah"), are all very close to each other and sometimes interchangeable, especially between the first two.

/oʊ/ is usually simplified to /o/, and /eɪ/ is sometimes simplified to /e/, since the normal versions of those sounds don't show up so we don't have to make the difference clear.

A lot of accents in North America make /ɔ/ sounds (similar to "aw" or "au", like in "caught") into /ɑ/ sounds (the o in "hot").

Now, let's move on to the alphabet!

ETERNIAN GLYPHS & SIGILS

The "letters" of the Eternian alphabet, in my opinion, are better described using the more general term "glyph". This is because, while they are distinct shapes that mean specific sounds, they are used kind of artistically and variably within one large interconnected word-shape called a "sigil", much different than we would consider letters in the English alphabet. These glyphs are organized in words by lines starting at the basic shape of the sigil and stringing them together in order.

Eternian glyphs are split into two major categories that differ by shape: consonants and vowels.

CONSONANTS

The system of glyphs for Eternian consonants is actually very easy to remember, once you get the shapes down! Let's go back to the voiced/voiceless pairs. English has eight pairs of these, four plosives (made by quickly starting and stopping air with your mouth) and four fricatives (made by constantly moving air through your mouth). These eight pairs - along with another pair for /r/ and /l/ even though they aren't voiced/voiceless, because they're also closely related - make up most of the sounds in English and most of the consonant glyphs in Eternian. In each of these pairs, the voiceless (and /l/) have a basic, empty polygon shape; the voiced pair (and /r/) use the exact same shape, but with a dot in the middle. Like so:

Outside of this, English has four more vowels - /m/, /n/, /ŋ/, and /h/ - and two "semivowels", which can be used either as a vowel or a consonant. One of these semivowels, /j/ (the English y), is used as a vowel in Eternian, while the other, /w/, is treated as a consonant. Except for /w/, these remaining consonants are all marked by the fact that they’re solid color; they also all use the same basic shapes as many of the others, but aren’t related to the sounds which share their shape:

Pretty simple once you get the hang of it! Excuse the messiness; if you want a more precise rendering, you can reference the original release at the top.

I'm pretty sure this is all accurate, but there's one thing that seems weird to me. In English, <th> can be used to express either voiceless /θ/ or voiced /ð/. However, in Eternian, they gave us a "dh" glyph. I assume that this is meant to represent /ð/. However, in Wrong Hordak's "Smooch The Chef" apron, "the" is spelled with the glyph used for /θ/. But honestly I'm just assuming human error on that one, especially because /ð/ is very rare at the beginning of words except for articles or pronouns like the and these, most cases of <th> at the beginning of a word are /θ/ like in "thorn".

Now, for vowels!

VOWELS

Like I said earlier, this bit is much more complicated to get than the consonants, but luckily, this is actually much better for English than Latin letters!

Eternian vowel glyphs are divided, seemingly at random, into two subsets with a single exception. First are line-glyphs, which are formed by altering the connective line between two geometric glyphs. The others are circle-glyphs, the ones used for /ɛ/, /i/, /u/, and /o/. These function in the exact same way as the consonant glyphs, except that they are all circles where none of the consonants (except /n/) are.

There's a few issues here with transcribing words, but they mostly come out of simplifying English's horrible vowel fluidity. For instance, there's no distinct letter for writing the schwa /ə/, but it can be folded into the letter for /ʌ/. That, and combining /ɔ/ with /ɑ/, simplify 16 sounds into 13 letters. The last letter, /j/, is the other semivowel I mentioned above; <y> in English can be used for either /j/ or /aɪ/ and /ɪ/, but this letter specifically represents the /j/ sound like in "yes" or "yak".

BRINGING IT TOGETHER

This is where things get very interesting. Let's start with the basics, walking through how to write the word "Adora".

Eternian, as a writing system, is much more artistic by design than Latin, and words and sentences can be constructed in many ways which are all read the same way. Eternian words - better called "sigils" - are read right-to-left, like Hebrew, Arabic, or traditional Japanese and Chinese. We form the sigils starting with a line sloping down in that direction book-ended with dots. The exact angle and length doesn't matter, but the right side is always noticeably higher than the left, like this:

We then add two additional decorative lines built off of that base, which end in dots:

These flourishes can be curved, geometric, or a mix of both, and often inform a lot about the "personality" of both a sigil and its writer, and can distinguish one sigil from another. They're like the sigil's signature. They can be any shape or length, but never overlap with themselves or other lines.

The next step is to begin adding the sounds. Much like the flourishes, these are constructed differently for every sigil, although again they are all read from right-to-left and the symbols are placed with that in mind. These are strung down from the sigil's base, connecting with straight lines. Let's start by placing the a-sound in "Adora" near the right-side edge of the line (this is the /ʌ/ line-glyph, like the u in "fun"):

Because the /ʌ/ glyph is a line, it replaces the normal connecting line. Let's finish this syllable line with the /d/ glyph:

...and then add another line with the glyphs for /orʌ/:

Generally, when a cluster ends with a line-glyph, it connects back to the base line. Clusters not at the end cannot end on a line-glyph (though I'm not sure about what to do for line-glyph-only words like "I" or "a" - perhaps the base line is changed, the line curves in an arc, or it ends at the changed portion?). Additionally, line-glyphs are always turned in the direction they're going - the beginning and ending /ʌ/ glyphs are flipped from each other, because the ending glyph is turned upwards going towards the base line while the beginning is stemming from it.

The important thing to remember is that sigils can be formed in a variety of ways - the flourishes, line angles, how you structure the syllables, all of these are dependent on the writer, so long as they follow those general rules. I constructed that sigil “AD.ORA”, but it could just as easily be “ADO.RA”, and in larger words there’s much more potential for structural changes.

Sigils in a sentence are connected through lines which meet the word next to each of the flourishes, and which bend to fit the shape of the sentence. Sentences are not read in any specific direction, but words are clustered in aesthetically pleasing ways and sentence order is shown by these connecting lines. However, The initial word in a sentence only has a line connecting on its left side, the final word only has a line on its right side, and words in between connect to the previous word on their right and the next word on their left.

Let's try extending this to a simple sentence - "Adora is She-Ra." We already have the She-Ra sigil from canon, so we just need to connect them with the word "is".

First, let's write the next word, below and to the left:

And connect the two with a line:

And then repeat with the "She-Ra" sigil.

...and finally...

There we go! You've officially written a sentence using Eternian glyphs! I hope you have fun with it! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me an ask. Thanks for reading!

[nellie-elizabeth]

Queliot Fic Recs - Master Post (March 11, 2020)

Hi everyone! I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but now that we’re staring down the barrel of the show’s official ending, I thought I’d finally take the time to post a master fic rec list!

A couple of notes:

This is by no means comprehensive; I’m sure I’m forgetting several lovely fics, and will be updating this list as I remember/find more.

This list will not include WIPs (the only exception being where I rec a completed story that is part of a series, and mention that sequel(s) are still in progress). I will add the WIPs I’m reading once they are complete!

I am open to suggestions from others, so please reblog and add your own recommendations! I would love to add to this and make it a one-stop-shop resource for people looking for something new to read.

When I know the tumblr handle of the author, I have included it. But in several cases I don’t know the author’s tumblr, if they have one - if you have this information to fill in, please let me know and I will update the master post. (Also, if you notice any broken links or mistakes - I did my best, but this thing is hefty and I’m sure there are errors!)

This took me… forever to put together, so if you find it useful, please reblog - and more importantly, please leave comments & kudos on the stories you read!

Link to the Google Doc, if that’s easier for you to read.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sIUMZcIcpnZ1_9T3o7dkqUaqEw0miwNTfTuZjvjGto4/edit?usp=sharing

Hefty rec list under the cut.

Season Three Gapfillers/Deviations from Canon

These stories usually deal with the aftermath of the mosaic in some way. Many of them were written before the revelations of 4x05, but some were written later, and either comply with canon, or deviate from it from that point.

shipping it by Mizzy (@mizzy2k). Mature. 16,344 words. The Muntjac “ships” Queliot and is trying to help them along. What else can I say? There’s angst, there’s love, it’s silly and it’s sincere.

Sense Memories by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 2,616 words. This is an ABO fic, which is not something I would typically read. But I love this author so much that I decided to give it a try. The thing I like about it is the idea of the mosaic timeline leaving a tangible, physical impact on Quentin and Eliot, and how they might deal with the fallout in this more extreme scenario. If ABO isn’t for you, though, proceed with caution.

throw your shadow over me by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 8,187 words. Okay I’m going to recommend basically everything peacefrog has written, but this one is probably my favorite. It’s a super angst-y sex scene between Quentin and Eliot during season three, where Eliot believes this is his last chance to be with Quentin, and is basically dreading the emotional fallout even while it’s happening.

i start spinning (slipping out of time) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Teen. 2,570 words. Before Eliot goes to Margo to discuss the god-killing bullet, he and Quentin have a conversation about Quentin’s choice to stay at Blackspire. Features a heartbreaking memory of their life together at the mosaic, and just generally gorgeous canon-compliant angst.

Promises by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 7,751 words. Eliot and Quentin have it out about Quentin’s decision to stay in Blackspire, and hash out their feelings for each other. This one is canon-divergent (and is probably the one-shot I am the most proud of!)

Overthinking It by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 3,581 words. Eliot finds out about the abyss key, and it prompts a discussion about Quentin and Eliot’s relationship.

Honey You’re On Fire, Let Me Help by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,857 words. Quentin accidentally picks up the abyss key… Eliot finds him and does what he can to distract him. This is hot, of course, but also so desperately full of feeling and love. As the summary implies, there is a good deal of depression and talk of suicide in this story, so take care.

Can’t Let Go by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,384 words. UGH. This is what SHOULD have happened after Eliot and Quentin remember the mosaic time-line. This is so satisfying and gave me some catharsis in the aftermath of the direction the story has taken in canon.

~~~~~

Post-Season Four Fix-Its

These stories maintain the canon of season four, and continue on from there. They generally involve bringing Quentin back from the dead.

What Matter Where by achray. Explicit. 28,782 words. Eliot becomes Prince Consort of the Underworld. He gets to be with Q when he’s back home, though. This is almost tough to read, because my brain doesn’t want to accept any half-happy endings, any reality where Eliot can’t spend all of his time by Quentin’s side. But on the other hand… Eliot has to make a big, big sacrifice to bring Quentin back, and you definitely feel the gravitas of that.

life ain’t fair (so i guess we’d better cheat) by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 1,137 words. This is more of a pre-fix-it. Eliot rages against the heavens for taking Quentin from him, and resolves to get him back. Short and painful. Cathartic.

Being Alive by miss_whimsy (@bambiesque). Gen. 7,022 words. Eliot sends the letter to Quentin with the magical stamp. And when that doesn’t work, he sends a bunch more. This is one of the very few fics on this list that has any connection to season five canon, which I’m not watching. I did watch 5x03, however, and this fic is borne out of Eliot Waugh never giving up - the way we all know it should have gone.

What kind of man (loves like this)? by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 3,160 words. Eliot and Quentin go out dancing. This fic has a certain quality about it that’s difficult to describe - I could just really feel their love for each other jump off the page, specifically in how badly they clearly want to care for each other. This fic also straddles the line between categories - the author describes it as a “fix-it” and it does deal with Quentin’s resurrection in a more immediate way, but the subject matter itself is much more about the aftermath, rather than the actual “bringing Q back from the dead” part.

You’re a Story (I Can Follow) by Page161of180. Mature. 19,695 words. I think everyone’s read this, but how could I not include it? This technically isn’t a fix-it, because it was written before the season four finale confirmed the theory of Quentin’s death. This author, like the collective fandom, assumed that death would be temporary… and thus, this is the story of Eliot being the Orpheus to Quentin’s Eurydice. It is stunning - a gold standard in writing intense grief with a happy ending. Eliot is undone by Quentin’s death here, and has to fight through obstacle after obstacle to get him back - the biggest one being, his own lack of self-worth. There’s also a somewhat-connected sequel/prequel called And Remember What You Were Before (Not Rated, 6,998 words), which is completely worth the read.

(like a perfect picture) in a broken frame by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 20,631 words. Another resurrection/fix-it fic… Really great group dynamics as everyone works on bringing Quentin back, but also a focus on Eliot’s despair. Kind of your standard fix-it, exactly what the characters should have tried to do, in a world where canon hadn’t betrayed us so badly.

life fades (but you remain) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 62,735. Stunning. STUNNING. Eliot finds a way to get Quentin back, but it comes at a cost. The two of them have to work it out. This features some incredibly good angst with a happy ending, scorching sex, a really intriguing OC in an early chapter, and some nice screen-time for the lovely Alice Quinn, to boot.

as it was by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 3,913 words. Short and sweet - Penny-40 leads Quentin to where he needs to go, and that’s back home to Eliot.

In the Woods Somewhere by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 15,528 words. This is the most creative take on a fix-it I’ve seen! The summary outlines the premise best: “Alice being unable to wipe younger Quentin's memory during the timeshare spell had a ripple effect.” Eliot is so desperate for Quentin in this one, and Quentin, from the afterlife, is having to work out how he feels and where he wants to be.

In Which We Grieve by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Teen. 3,413 words. I hesitate to call this a “fix-it” really, since Quentin doesn’t come back to life. But despite that, he and Eliot make it work. This is sad, but cathartic too.

(this is not a) Temporary Love by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Teen. 20,684 words. A fix-it that includes some intense mosaic feels too, as Margo and Eliot read over some letters/notes written during the mosaic timeline. I also like this one for how the rest of the gang finally notices how sick and worn-down Quentin is, and forces Q and Eliot to take a mental health vacation once Quentin is back in the land of the living!

~~~~~

Post-Season Four/Post-Possession - Not Fix-Its

These stories take place after the events of season four, or, in some cases, after an imagined ending of season four (written before the series finale aired), ignoring season five canon. They are not fix-its in the sense that either a) they ignore Quentin’s death in canon and proceed like it never happened, or b) Quentin’s resurrection happened “off-screen” and is not the focus of the story. These fics often deal with the aftermath, both physical and psychological, of Eliot’s possession. They also usually deal with Quentin and Eliot’s reconciliation after the events of seasons three and four, and sometimes continue through their time as an established couple.

your body (your heart) in his hands by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 18,636 words. This fic follows Eliot and Quentin into their future. I’m recommending it specifically for the way it deals with Quentin’s discipline - I’ve never seen a fic tackle the subject in quite this way, and with so much care and gentleness. If you are not a fan of kid!fic, don’t be put off by the premise - Eliot and Quentin are great fathers with amazing kids in this future universe, but the focus really does remain on their romance. This story is part of a series called second time around which is all worth a read, especially the latest part, entitled The Special Dish. The whole series really embodies the romance of effort, and how putting in the time to nurture and grow a relationship is what makes it work.

Be still my foolish heart (i’m almost me again) by Butterfly (@butterflydm). Explicit. 3,754 words. A birthday fic for Quentin - he’s a little overwhelmed by the party held in his honor. He sneaks off to be alone, Eliot follows him, and Q tells Eliot about his discipline.

Living Room, NY by cartographies (@honeybabydichotomy). Teen. 11,254 words. Eliot goes to therapy. I’m recc’ing this specifically for Eliot’s rambling confession of love to Quentin in chapter two. The whole thing is lovely, but that part really knocked me the fuck out.

Imagine being loved by me. by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 11,225 words. Holy moly. This is a top-tier fave for me. It’s about sex, it’s about love, it’s about working through a relationship after trauma. Eliot is touch-starved but can’t be touched - so Quentin and Eliot must get creative.

Yes and Yes and Maybe Yes by hetrez (@hetrez). Mature. 5,542 words. The author describes this as “consent porn, with feelings,” and that’s a pretty good descriptor. Quentin has PTSD because of the Monster, and Eliot’s touch can be triggering for him. They work together to get through it. This is hot, yes, but it’s hot specifically because of how badly Eliot wants to take care of Quentin and make him feel safe.

The Dreamers by hetrez (@hetrez). Teen. 10,143 words. Post-possession, Quentin and Eliot are together but things aren’t smooth sailing. The scene from this story that always sticks in my head is Quentin asking Eliot if he wants to have a family again, like they did before with Arielle and Teddy - and Eliot’s horrifically wrong-footed response: “You’ll get a wife again and we’ll have another baby.” As might be predicted, Quentin doesn’t take that very well… and this story is at least partially working out where they stand, what they both want.

The Drum Beats Out of Time by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Mature. 68,605 words. This series features two stories: Suitcase of Memories and I Fall Behind. Both are amazing, but I Fall Behind in particular is one of my top-tier favorite fics in the whole fandom. This fic does not pull its punches in terms of the effects of Eliot’s possession, and it makes things really rough for Quentin and Eliot’s relationship. Quentin does a reckless thing, Eliot panics, they hash it out - but it’s not easy, and it’s not so clear-cut. These fics also features glimpses of their life together at the mosaic, and a lovely epilogue that shows how they’ve made progress and are still healing as a couple.

the right time and place by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Teen. 3,675 words. Eliot trying to propose to Quentin. It’s sweet and fluffy and good for the soul.

hearts like houses by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Explicit. 11,888 words. Quentin and Eliot celebrate Eliot’s birthday, post-possession. They get away for a trip, to try and put their worries behind them. This story is full of so much intimacy and gentleness that it just melts my whole heart.

five times my writing was better than the magicians by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 6,019 words. These are just… soft. It’s five different short fics, all with slight variations on the simple concept of Quentin and Eliot reuniting post-possession. There’s no intensive deep-dive, nothing too grim or challenging. It’s just the two of them finding their way to each other again and again. Very healing to read, in light of canon’s (inferior) version of reality.

struck from a great height by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 4,517 words. “Life affirming sex” is the most telling tag on this thing. Post-possession, Eliot and Quentin find their way into each other’s arms. Really hot sex, lots of feelings… everything we deserved at the end of the Monster story-line.

And So Lift Your Spirits by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 3,437 words. This was one of the first fics I remember reading in the aftermath of my desperate post-season four feelings, and it hit the spot in the best way. Eliot’s POV - he loves Quentin, but has doubts that he’s actually deserving of something so wonderful, that Quentin could really reciprocate and want to stay. Quentin finds an insanely hot, insanely romantic way to reassure him.

Ten Twenty-Eight by Page161of180. Not Rated. 5,974 words. This is slice-of-life about Quentin Coldwater and how he’s spent Eliot’s birthday, October 28, over the years. It’s told through notes from the Library branch of the Underworld, with added comments from Alice and Penny. It’s weird, but rewarding. I love the record-keeping aspect. This author has a real gift for outsider POV, and this is one of my favorites!

Nights and Mornings by Page161of180. Mature. 6,734 words. Two connected stories, in the aftermath of possession. Quentin doesn’t die, but he does still get back together with Alice, a la 4x12. These stories deal with Eliot’s thoughts on that, and… spoiler… Quentin/Alice is just not meant to be. Quentin makes a different choice.

The Honor of Your Presence by Page161of180. Mature. 18,117 words. Quentin and Eliot get married, and we hear the story from three different POVs… Todd, Rafe, and Marina 23. Random? Yes. Brilliant? Also yes. I love how each POV has a different and distinct literary style. And how even the people who aren’t closest to Quentin and Eliot can see how insanely in love they are with each other.

The Wanting Then, the Needing Now by Page161of180. Not rated. 3,799 words. Alice’s POV, as Eliot is saved from possession, and Quentin falls apart. Basically, Alice realizes where Quentin really belongs. I love the way this author does justice to Quentin’s love for Alice - it’s not a footnote, it’s not an insignificant blip. It’s real, and that doesn’t invalidate the fact that Quentin chooses Eliot. This has a much longer sequel which is also very good - but that story is more Alice-centric and not really focused on Queliot as much, even though they definitely play a part.

Lay Me Down (Pockets Full of Stones) by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 10,024 words. Post-possession, Eliot realizes how badly Quentin has been dealing with things. He’s angry at their friends for not keeping a better eye out - but all that matters right now is finding Quentin and making sure he’s alright. I love this story for how messy their reunion is - how all of their feelings just come spilling out of them without finesse.

(one kiss) it all comes down to this by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 6,391 words. True Love’s Kiss… the boys need to talk about their feelings, and a curse forces the issue. This is so entirely my jam.

box of chocolates by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 9,256 words. This short series begins with the Teen-rated for love (if it finds you worthy) and features Eliot asking Quentin to be his valentine. Because Quentin and Eliot are… Quentin and Eliot, it still takes them a little while to get their shit together, after that.

when lips and skin remember by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 6,163 words. This is for the monthly prompt challenge - “blindfolds” and features Quentin helping Eliot through some sensory issues, post-Monster possession.

an end (but the start of all things that are left to do) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 2,388 words. Birthday smut! Q is alive and gets a blowjob, as the universe requires.

the one with the dog by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 80,517 words. If you haven’t already read this series, what are you waiting for?? It is IDEAL for soothing the soul. Eliot and Quentin deal with the aftermath of their trauma, both physical and mental. They hang out at the condo in New York, they take care of an adorable dog named Lady Desdemona, they have lots of hot sex of course. They heal. Every single one of the twelve stories in this series is worth reading, but my favorites are probably (this is) the beat of my heart (Explicit, 11,700 words), Five Card Draw (Explicit, 3,531 words), all the way home I’ll be warm (Explicit, 15,640 words), and Come What May (Teen, 3,352 words).

5 Scenes from a Road Trip by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,218 words. In the aftermath of season four (sans Quentin’s death), the boys need a change of scenery to begin healing and finding their way back to one another. I love how this fic shows their closeness, and how the boundaries of their relationship often defy description. They love each other beyond sex, beyond conventional romance - although they achieve those things, too, as they definitely deserve.

did you know my baby loves me? by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,776 words. Quentin tops Eliot on his birthday. What it says on the tin. But as always with this author, even something that should be ostensibly a PWP is filled with so much feeling and love that you could just drown in it.

To Learn to Be Again by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 18,295 words. “I don’t think- I can’t be anyone’s boyfriend right now, Eliot.” Eliot loves Quentin, Quentin loves Eliot, but that’s not always enough to give them a happily ever after. Quentin goes to therapy, deals with his trauma and his mental health, and Eliot is right there beside him with no expectations. This is so, so lovely and every ounce of their happiness feels earned and all the more precious for the pain that’s mixed up with it.

do not go gentle by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 10,260 words. This is almost a fix-it, in that Quentin imagines the events of 4x13, but they don’t actually happen. So be warned if any depiction of Quentin’s death is a trigger for you. I love the way this story deals with the Alice of it all, and also the way Quentin and Eliot talk through their situation and find a way back to each other once again. (Also shower sex happens). This author has written multiple versions of this same reconciliation, but each one is so lovely and I’ll never get sick of it.

the strange act of living by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 13,632 words. So there are a lot of fics out there that deal with the aftermath of Eliot’s possession of course. A lot of fics that feature Eliot and Quentin slowly, painfully, finding a way to reconcile. This one holds a special place in my heart for this particular moment, where Quentin walks past Eliot without saying anything, grabs a muffin from the counter, and leaves the room. Later, Q finds Eliot crying in the shower, and Eliot asks him why he just left, taking the food Eliot had made for him, and then ignoring him. That one moment has stuck with me ever since I read the fic, and I keep coming back to it. In all, this captures a very specific kind of hurt that both Quentin and Eliot are feeling, and gets them on the path to healing. Gorgeous.

the safety of others by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Teen. 8,122 words. Quentin doesn’t die in 4x13, but he does get injured. And Eliot keeps vigil. This is - so powerful. I don’t even know how to describe it. Just read it, please.

Magic Curses by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 134,886 words. This series includes six stories, each dealing with Quentin and Eliot’s relationship as they undergo external threats from creative and somewhat evil magical curses. It’s my attempt to write in some more hurt/comfort to the fandom, and also to indulge in some established-relationship goodness! The first story, Lover’s Touch (Explicit, 24,781 words), is summarized thusly: “Q gets cursed, and Alice can’t help. Magic forces Q and Eliot to cuddle and talk about their feelings.”

Coming Home by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 2,958 words. Short and sweet. The author succinctly describes this as: “Eliot gets to be brave.” And he does. He says the thing he wants to say to Quentin, and Q eventually believes him.

Enough by SabbyStarlight. Teen. 2,746 words. This was written just before 4x13 came out. If only if only this is how it had gone instead… basically just Quentin and Eliot talking about their feelings, negotiating their relationship.

Boyfriend by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Teen. 6,727 words. Quentin is sensitive about the fact that Eliot isn’t introducing him as his boyfriend. This is just… the sweetest. I love that there’s some jealousy and insecurity, but it’s a manageable, reasonable type - Eliot and Quentin are able to talk about it and get past this small bump in the road.

Hunger by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 4,327 words. Quentin gets a birthday blowjob. The end. :)

~~~~~

Mosaic Timeline

These stories are ones that take place almost or entirely within the mosaic timeline - both in keeping with, and in deviation from, what we see in 3x05.

help me hold onto you by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Explicit. 14,768 words. This one will hurt your heart, but it’s so rewarding. Featuring Eliot being ridiculously turned on by talking about feelings during sex… and Quentin loving Eliot while grieving for Arielle.

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Teen. 645 words. Tiny fic - maybe the shortest one on the list. Quentin and Eliot are bad at talking about their feelings. Who’s surprised?

flowing all this time by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 5,488 words. This is one of those fics where Arielle isn’t an obstacle for the boys… but rather, Eliot is an obstacle for Quentin and Arielle, in a way. It has some bittersweet moments, but I love how much Eliot loves Quentin here. This is also (spoiler) the rare fic where Arielle chooses to leave, rather than dying.

a cure i know (that soothes the soul) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 4,857 words. Little snippets of Quentin and Eliot’s life through the years at the mosaic. Recc’ing especially for middle-aged Queliot, which we see all too little of in this fandom!

measure in love by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 51,827 words. This is a series about Quentin, Eliot, and Arielle’s lives together at the mosaic. I don’t know if the author plans to write more in this series or not, but each one can stand alone. I am particularly enamored with The Ways We Fit Together (Explicit, 11,661 words), which is summarized succinctly as “sex and love in the mosaic timeline”, and You Steer My Heart (Explicit, 25,217 words), which follows Eliot’s mindset as he watches Quentin and Arielle fall in love with each other, while Quentin and Eliot continue to love each other as well. It’s stunning, and probably my favorite take on the three of them and their polyamorous relationship. This series has everything - the best combination of smut and feelings you could hope for.

Running All This Time by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 179,478 words.The story of the mosaic timeline, built on the foundation of love and communication. To my knowledge, the only completed mosaic long-fic in the fandom thus far! Includes Fillorian nonsense, a quest within a quest, plenty of sex, lots of hurt/comfort, a different take on Arielle, and happy endings for everyone.

Reciprocal by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 8,259. Eliot is an idiot about his feelings (what else is new?), and he tries to make things better in the worst possible way. This fic imagines a world where Eliot and Quentin find happiness together without Arielle as a part of their romantic/sexual lives.

my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,586 words. This is the porn-iest version of “Quentin and Eliot don’t know how to talk about their feelings.” Basically, the boys keep jerking off next to each other in bed, and they don’t talk about it because they’re IDIOTS.

you know that’s my love (bursting loud from inside) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 11,904 words. Another fic where Arielle decides to leave. Eliot is so good at taking care of his family.

tomorrow past tonight by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 7,676 words. Okay - if you’re only going to read one gap-filler for 3x05, that’s basically just the missing sex scene and nothing else, make it this one. It’s hot, and it’s aching with everything Quentin and Eliot aren’t saying to each other. This is one of my absolute favorites.

~~~~~

Brakebills Alternate Universe / Season One

These stories are generally, but not always, pure relationship fics where the plot concerns of canon (i.e. the Beast, and time loops) do not exist, and instead Quentin and Eliot get to be magical grad students together, and fall in love.

Every Blessed Thing by achray. Explicit. 7,795 words. Quentin turns himself invisible. This fic is complex in how Alice and Quentin’s relationship is portrayed, and the resolution isn’t clear-cut. I really like this characterization of both Quentin and Eliot.

saturate the atmosphere (wake me from a dream) by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 7,394 words. This is some good ol’ sexy times with a healthy dash of feelings. Eliot involuntarily levitates them while Quentin’s giving him a blowjob, so… that’s honestly all you need to know about this one. Go give it a read.

i feel it in my body, know it in my mind by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 11,817 words. Let’s pretend that this is what happened in 1x03, okay? Kady doesn’t interrupt when Eliot pours Q a drink, and sex ensues. I love how flabbergasted Eliot is by everything that happens - especially his reaction to the news that Quentin isn’t straight, and isn’t going to be squeamish at the thought of sleeping with a man. So hot, so cute.

if being him is who you are / say it loud say you know you are by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 5,293 words. Okay, holy shit. Mike’s POV - he decides that he and Eliot should have a threesome with Quentin, so Eliot can get it out of his system. Uh. Yeah, that backfires. Poor Mike. But also - the sex in this is the epitome of tenderness and love. Eliot is so careful with Quentin, so awed and desperate and shaky at the chance to be with him. There is a sequel in the works, too, so watch out for that!

Hedonism for Beginners by ceeainthereforthat (@ceeainthereforthat). Explicit. 20,730 words. A series of filthy sex, basically. Eliot is teaching Quentin about what he likes in bed. I don’t know if the series is abandoned or not, but in any case, each of these works on its own as a PWP but with a deep undercurrent of feelings.

Something Good by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Teen. 162,260 words. The Gold Standard slow-burn rom-com AU! Seriously, I know everyone’s read this, but if you haven’t for some reason… please do. The slow-burn is so slow you’ll be tearing your hair out by the end, but it’s all worth it when you get to the catharsis. How oblivious can Quentin be about Eliot’s feelings? This fic asks and answers that question, and the answer is - very. There are also two fics that accompany the main story: Someone Good (Eliot’s POV of the main story) and Somewhere Good (future one-shots of Quentin and Eliot’s life together). Both are on hiatus but the author plans to return to them. You can read the existing chapter of each without feeling like anything is unfinished, though.

Not Always Folly by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Explicit. 262,583 words. Another amazing romantic… comedy? but this one is from Eliot’s POV and is in some ways more a character study of Eliot Waugh than it is simply a romance. Although the romance… you guys… the pining levels are off the charts. Eliot ends up hurting Quentin, and really everyone else he cares about, in this story, but he puts in the work to make it right. I admire this fic for diving deep into Eliot’s psyche while also delivering on an amazing slow-burn of a different sort. Bonus points for Alice and Eliot getting to be friends like they deserve!

Be kind by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,069 words. It’s the highest kudo’d fic in the fandom! I assume that means you’ve all read it? This is a PWP, but I love it specifically for how much Eliot loses his usual control when he’s with Quentin.

to be unbroken or be brave again. by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin). Teen. 14,135 words. Hey, it’s a 10 Things I Hate About You AU! Kind of! Josh asks Quentin to pretend to date Eliot to cheer him up after a breakup, so that Margo will go out with Josh. But Q tells Eliot what’s up right away - so they’re fake dating but real feelings happen. Super cheesy, of course, but it hits the spot!

in the world full wrong (you’re the thing that’s right) by Mizzy (@Mizzy2k). Explicit. 5,307 words. Eliot tries to hook up with Quentin Coldwater and gets more than he bargained for. I love this for how matter-of-fact Quentin is, about the fact that Eliot wants to seduce him… and then hpw he ends up doing some seducing of his own.

If You Haven’t Yet by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 5,828 words. Obviously we all love confident Eliot Waugh totally rocking Quentin’s world… but I have a soft spot for oddly confident Quentin who really knows what he’s doing, and this fic has the perfect blend of both dynamics. The best part is Quentin slowly and methodically undressing Eliot and not letting him help. It’s… whew. *fans self*

the heat that drives the light by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 9,296 words. Quentin and Eliot have an antagonistic relationship, until Eliot realizes Quentin might be what he’s looking for in a sexual partner. Sub Eliot, new-to-being-a-Dom Quentin. Super hot.

it started out with a kiss (how did it end up like this) by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,896 words. In the aftermath of a bad breakup, Quentin and Eliot find their way to each other. This is super amazing all on its own, but the author is also working on a sequel that I’m really enjoying thus far. Either story could probably be read without the other, too.

the bridge between us by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,201 words. Dom Eliot, Sub Quentin. Quentin and Eliot navigate their BDSM sex life, but also their feelings. Eliot is so tender and soft with Q, and Q learns to take care of Eliot in return. This is one of my absolute favorites from this author. Also, as a note, there’s a “prequel” to this fic called paint it red (Explicit, 7,197 words) that could totally be read as a separate piece, but is worth checking out as the origin story of how these two got together and started shaping their dynamics, sexual and otherwise.

(Everyone Has) That Drawer by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Explicit. 5,782 words. Eliot finds Quentin’s stash of sex toys. It’s enough to get him to finally act on their mutual, unspoken attraction. Hot!

Wake Me Up by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 4,000 words. Quentin has sleep apnea, but Eliot doesn’t know that… and he gets a little - alarmed. This is objectively an odd premise, but it’s incredibly sweet. rizcriz has about a million stories and I’ve read a lot of them, but I’m a fan of the ones like this, that take a specific concept and run with it, sort of like slice-of-life. Check out more of their work, though, I can’t possibly put them all on the list!

Migraine Mastery by SabbyStarlight. Not rated. 2,012 words. Short and sweet - Quentin has a migraine and Eliot helps.

Between Friends by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 15,019 words. This is the quintessential (Quentin-sential?) Brakebills get-together fic. It’s a party, Quentin and Eliot end up going to bed together… both of them are a little uncertain about what this means, but they work it out. Recc’ing for the hot sex, but even more for the “wake up in the middle of the night to have a tender round two without talking about what it means” sex.

Sex Magic by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 42,006 words. Uhh… what it says on the tin. Every one of these is scorching, but my favorite is probably the first one: How Easy You Are To Need.

All Of You A Verb In Perfect View by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 6,398 words. PWP where Eliot distracts Quentin while he tries to do his homework.

You Can Devastate Me by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,018 words. Marqueliot sex scene - Quentin and Eliot are a couple, but Margo is running the show. Just… hot, but of course Eliot’s love for Quentin still permeates the whole piece. So much tenderness, with so much filth.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (No Magic)

So many of these seem so completely random in premise, but they’re all amazing!

Our Sublime Refrain by destielpasta (@queliotpasta) and mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 233,929 words. It’s 1836, Eliot is a pianist. This one is Marqueliot, y’all, and let me tell you - it is a journey. If you are somewhat put off by the idea of an AU so far removed from canon, about a topic you know very little about… please give this a try. I was a little hesitant too, but I promise it will not disappoint.

Pretty Good Year by Hth (@spiders-hth-is-an-outlier). Explicit. 175,728 words. I’m not going to lie - this is a difficult fic for me. It’s stunning, but getting through it was an incredibly emotional, challenging journey. While many fics in this fandom deal with Quentin’s mental illness, I’ve never seen a fic talk about it quite like this one. That’s not to put you off from trying it if you haven’t already - this is one of the most achingly real stories I’ve ever read, and it will reward you for giving it a chance.

opening doors by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Mature. 52,230 words. Quentin is a playwright! Eliot is an associate director who used to act! This is a slow-ish burn, and the worldbuilding of the characters in a theatrical setting is so fun!

couch party verse by marcel. Mature. 33,725 words. These two stories feature Quentin, Eliot, and the rest of the gang at a non-magical grad school. The thing I love about these stories is how slow and realistic the escalation of the relationship feels. It’s not a hot hookup right away - they clearly like each other, but circumstances sometimes get in the way, and there’s also no big rush to the finish line. This is a softer, gentler universe that still has its own realism and trauma, too. I hope the author chooses to add to it someday!

Saltwater by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 35,560 words. It’s a pirate AU! What more could you possibly need to know? I love how all of the characters and locations are cleverly repurposed here - the Whitespire and Our Lady Underground are ships, Quentin is a ship’s doctor, Eliot is a captain, etc. And the slowburn between Quentin and Eliot is masterful. This is actually a series - part one is complete, and part two is in progress.

A (Gingerbread) House that we can Build by mtothedestiel (@summersteve), with art by eliotsvests (surprisegents). Explicit. 28,189 words. I am not a cheesy Christmas movie person, and I am not a kid!fic person. So I thought this might not be the story for me, at first. But I’m so glad I clicked on it - this is a story about second chances, and finding happiness when you aren’t even looking for it. And I love the way little Teddy is written here. He’s got all the sweetness of Quentin Coldwater’s son, without tilting over into being saccharine. This is just the right amount of sweet if you want to put yourself back in the holiday spirit.

I’ll Follow My Secret Heart by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Mature. 17,613 words. I don’t really know how to describe this one… it’s weird! It’s a meet cute, Eliot gets in an accident, there’s a blizzard, bed (floor) sharing so as to prevent freezing to death, Eliot is kinda famous and Quentin doesn’t know. All I can say is, this is precious, and odd, and I got totally swept up in the world.

I Need You So Much Closer by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 14,436 words. I love this story. Eliot is a musician, he and Quentin are exes from years ago, who fell apart because of Eliot’s alcoholism. But he’s sober now, and he’s touring where Quentin lives - so they reconnect. Eliot calls Quentin the “smoke show love of [his] life” at one point in this fic, and that phrase just… stuck with me in the best way. Don’t miss the mini-sequel, You Need Me So Much Closer (Explicit, 3,874 words), either. I really hope the author writes more in this universe!

Experimentation by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,812 words. PWP where Eliot meets Quentin at a sex shop and Eliot teaches him what he’s into. Hot hot hot.

(i just might) remember that night by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,732 words. This might be crack, I don’t know. There are dick pics, and it’s silly, but also Quentin and Eliot feel this amazing connection to each other right off the bat, and that is honestly my jam.

and if tomorrow it’s all over (at least we had it for a moment) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 45,461 words. Quentin and Eliot were a couple in high school, but they haven’t seen each other in years. They run into each other again at Julia’s wedding, and everything comes rushing back. I like the fact that this fic features very little (if any) angst. The idea is that these two people missed out on their chance to be together, but they haven’t been desperately pining for years. But once they’re back in a room together… their connection is undeniable. Also, the sex is great.

hold me like a (liar) lover does by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart) with art by Doomkitty25. Explicit. 80,812 words. A holiday fic! Fake dating! Mutual pining! So tropey and excellent. Really hot sex, as is the norm for this author! Warning for Alice being something of a villain in this piece, although there’s a potential reconciliation implied right at the end. I love this fic for going beyond just the romance, and also telling a story about Quentin and Eliot’s careers, and what they want out of their lives - in terms of romance, yes, but in terms of their work lives as well.

Ask Me, I Won’t Say No by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 22,616 words. A… pub trivia AU? Which is a thing I didn’t know I needed? Mostly this is about widower!Quentin, with a kid, meeting Eliot Waugh. They fall in love. The sex in this is incendiary, but the growing relationship between these two is what really makes it worth the read.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (With Magic)

These stories feature roughly the same worldbuilding as the show’s canon, but the character’s journeys deviate significantly. Maybe Quentin and Eliot don’t meet at Brakebills, or their journey to getting there is different in some other way!

fire and life by everytuesday. Teen. 7,060 words. This is a high school AU, where Eliot discovers his magic, and accidentally kills his father. Quentin helps him to bury the body. It’s a little bit dark, obviously, given that description… so take care.

First Year by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 11,957 words. Quentin is a Brakebills student, who also happens to be a sylph from Fillory. He has wings, and Eliot is more than a little intrigued. The author may have plans to write a sequel!

push me (further than i thought i could go) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 15,036 words. Quentin and Eliot meet at a game of Push, and then have their own private contest later on. Mostly recommending this one for the sex, but also for Confident Quentin Coldwater, and for the fact that no matter the circumstances, these boys are gone for each other pretty much right away.

Hedges, Bitch by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 56,568 words. This series has four works, the longest “main” story of which, theón kai andrón, is another personal favorite of mine. It features Eliot as the leader of a coven of hedge witches, and Quentin as a magical novice who didn’t make it into Brakebills. I love the dynamic between Quentin and Eliot in these stories, as they fall naturally into a dom/sub relationship, but Eliot works to make sure the power differential between them doesn’t adversely affect things, either on the job, or in their personal lives. Eliot is just so soft for Quentin in these stories, while also admiring him and depending on him as the gang gets themselves caught up in a dangerous threat to hedges all over the world.

~~~~~

Fillory/Royalty

These stories are sometimes canon deviations, and usually deal with Eliot as the High King, and his relationship with Quentin from there.

oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep by buckybunnyteeth. Explicit. 4,360 words. Quentin is jealous of Idri! Eliot is way, way too delighted about it. Really hot. I probably shouldn’t be as charmed by jealous!Quentin as I am. But this is amazing.

Make a list of things you need by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,264 words. Eliot and Quentin are getting married, but Eliot’s okay with keeping it platonic. Quentin… is not. Hot, hot, hot.

i’d be the last shred of truth (in the lost myth of true love) by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin), with art by gilestel. Eliot and Margo are made the High Kings of Fillory, and then later Eliot meets a cute Brakebills professor Quentin Coldwater, who is staying at Whitespire for research. There’s a truth curse! Eliot is set to marry Idri, but uh-oh, feelings happen! Tropey as hell, super cute.

and this is the map of my heart by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 14,033 words. Eliot is High King, and he is expected to marry. Quentin magnanimously offers himself for the position, and of course there’s angst about that. And scorching hot sex. And Eliot struggling to be emotionally vulnerable. One of my absolute favorites from the author.

whitespire by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,529 words. Eliot sits on his throne, Quentin drops to his knees and calls him “Your Majesty.” So… yeah. Yum.

~~~~~

Brian and Nigel

This is an area where more content needs to exist! Send me a note if there are some I’ve missed.

A Little Disguised, or a Little Mistaken by Page161of180. Mature. 17,807 words. Brian and Nigel find each other, and fall in love. This is gorgeous. Quentin and Eliot are recognizably themselves, but also just different enough that when their real selves start poking through the memory wipe, you can feel the change coming. Another story where canon comes along and steals happiness right out from under them. They were so close!

Shine Through My Memory by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Mature. 61,311 words. This one starts as a fic about Brian and Nigel meeting and falling in love… and then the Monster still possesses Nigel/Eliot, and the events of season four continue from there. But with memories of Brian and Nigel’s love in Quentin’s head, things play out a little differently. We follow the story all the way through to Eliot getting saved by Margo and Quentin, and the reconciliation/reunion afterwards. This fic has a little of everything, and it’s really the only re-telling of season four I’ve seen that covers the canon plot while adding something new and unique to the story!

Reaching in the Dark by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Mature. 53,040 words. Eliot remembers who he is, but Quentin thinks he’s Brian. Eliot and Alice work together to protect Quentin from the Monster. This is so complex and difficult and sad and challenging, and when you reach the end, you’ll feel so frustrated about how close they were to figuring their shit out. But ultimately, canon comes back to snatch that happy ending away.

~~~~~

Other

The few fics that I couldn’t categorize neatly into any of the above sections.

So It May As Well Be Me by achray. Explicit. 14,596 words. There was only one bed. Trapped in a closet. Sex pollen. Sex magic rituals. Every fanfic trope becomes manifest. Quentin seems oblivious; Eliot is freaking out. This is just the epitome of fun.

our place in the family of things by greywash, with art by yourtinseltinkerbell (@yourtinseltinkerbell). Explicit. 208,582 words. This is sort of a Brakebills AU, I suppose, but it takes place after Eliot has graduated. Quentin comes to visit over the holidays. So here’s the thing about greywash’s prose - they are stunning. They are dense, and complex, and almost hard to read - but I mean that as the highest compliment. This story, and really all of this author’s work, rewards careful study. This story has so, so much to offer. So if you haven’t given it a shot, or you’re intimidated by the length, please give it a try. Featuring Eliot’s complex relationship with his mother, with religion, with his sexuality, with Quentin, with Margo. Featuring a story of queer love that transcends time and convention. Featuring some excellent worldbuilding, especially as concerns Quentin’s family, and Eliot’s career. Featuring beautiful accompanying artwork. Featuring a proposal scene that knocked me the fuck out. Featuring love, in every way.

To Give You Hope and a Future by Page161of180. Not rated. 4,374 words. I couldn’t put this in the fix-it category, or in the mosaic category, or really even in the post-season four category. It’s all and none of those things. Eliot, in the aftermath of Quentin’s death, goes to the mosaic and talks to old man Quentin, who is grieving his husband. This is sad, y’all. But cathartic, too.

Cheat Day by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,624 words. Set during season four. Quentin misses Eliot, and does something sad and dangerous. Short and… well, sweet is the wrong word. This one will punch you right in the gut.

Movement by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 17,036 words. These are three stories that are only loosely connected in that they are about sex, and introspection. They fit into lots of categories - parts of them take place in Eliot’s happy place, parts at the mosaic, parts in the aftermath of possession. All three stories in the series are scorching hot and full of so much feeling. I really admire how they weave through time, following the changing dynamics through the events of canon in a really unique way.

darkness, welcoming by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 17,748 words. I almost put this in the Alternate Universe (With Magic) section, but this is not the same world as canon. Eliot is a vampire! He saves Quentin’s life and then… uh… well, they fall in love, and there’s some blood play. Eliot is super smitten, and it’s precious. Also really hot.

What Was and What Will Be by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Mature. 35,996 words. This is part mosaic-fic, part post-possession fic… it’s basically just another story of these two idiots being so bad at communication, but finally getting it right. A really satisfying journey, encompassing so many elements of what we all wished for in canon. I especially loved the long and difficult conversation they have during their reunion. The line that really punched me in the gut was: “fuck you for saying ‘I love you’ for the first goddamn time when you’re breaking up with me.”

kiss me harder, you’re better than you know by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 4,633 words. This could easily take place in a nebulous post-season-four world, but it exists in its own little bubble and could really slot into any given universe. It deals with Quentin’s depression in a really direct, really devastating way, but also features Eliot being there for Quentin as best as he can. As the tags say, “not the healthiest of coping mechanisms.” But it’s filled with so much tenderness I can hardly stand it.

To Feel the Same by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 1,725 words. A small gap-filler at the end of the “I think you should probably hug me right now” scene in 2x01.

[just-jordie-things]

Soulmate Ink - Richie Tozier

word count: 2578 warnings: swearing summary: Soulmates are a tricky thing, because the only real way to find them is by the scars and tattoos they mark on you by marking on themselves.  Lucky your soulmate is a dipshit that gets a very bold tattoo, which makes it a bit easier to track him down.

___

The thing about soulmates, was that they’re simple.  Anything you put on your body, shows up on theirs.  From scars to tattoos, if it was permanent, it would show.

For years, there was nothing on (y/n), and therefore, no reason her parents felt to talk to her about soulmates.  Sometimes they were just so hard to come by, that they’d figured they wouldn’t bring it up until there was a sign that she even had a soulmate.  Some people never found their soulmate, and a life without one is so lonely, so meaningless.  They just didn’t want their little girl to live like that.

Her first mark came when she was thirteen.

It was a quick, sharp pain in the palm of her hand that had shown up one night while at the dinner table.  She had shrieked in pain and surprise, seeing a gash appear across her skin, and her parents had rushed in to find her crying, and blood dripping all over the table cloth.

“Oh sweetheart, what happened?” Her mother had asked, while her father ran off to didn’t the first aid kit.

“I didn’t do it,” (y/n) was crying, “It just- it just happened”

Her father came back in, cleaning up the wound and bandaging her hand while she tried to stop whimpering.  That was the night they first talked about soulmates, and that whoever (y/n’s) was, just had a ghastly accident.

As terrifying as it was to suddenly have a scar across her hand, she spent the rest of the night unwrapping the gauze to look at it, only to re-wrap and overthink about who her soulmate was, and what the hell he was thinking. ___

It wasn’t until four years later that her soulmate was at it again.  And as if the giant scar that ran across the whole of her right palm wasn’t enough, her soulmate got a tattoo.

A tattoo.

Just like always, she was minding her own business, nose in a book in the comfort of her bed, when it started with a sudden prick on her ankle.

It didn’t hurt enough for her to scream, or cry, but she winced, and brushed it off as a weird tingle.

And then, a few seconds later, it started again, this time rapidly, like someone was stabbing her with the world’s tiniest knife, repeatedly.

She dropped her book, and kicked off her blankets to see that there was a line of black ink and a few drops of blood on her skin.

This continued until there was a distinct F inked there on her ankle.

Collected a box of tissues to help clean the blood, she kept watching to see what the hell her soulmate had decided to tattoo on his body. ___

“Really? Richie?” Beverly cringed at the tattoo Richie was showing off on his ankle.

In bold, clear lettering, he’d thought that a tat that said ‘FUCK YOU’ would be cool.  And it was clear that he was pretty proud of it too.

“Wow…” Stan said, eyes wide as he stared at the black ink that Richie was showing off.  “That’s real classy, Richie”

“I think it’s pretty rad,” He said, and cuffed his jeans so they’d raise above the tattoo and he could show it off more.  “Best seventy bucks of my life”

“Not true, dipshit,” Eddie rolled his eyes.  “Do you even know how dirty those needles can be? You could’ve gotten fucking- I don’t know- AIDS or something”

“Shut up Eds.  And for the last time, I don’t have AIDS!”

“W-what about y-your soulmate?” Bill asked.  “Th-they probably aren’t too happy r-right now”

“Good, it’ll help me find em faster,” Richie shrugged.  “Can’t miss them with this printed on their leg”

“Jesus Richie, you branded the poor thing?” Bev sighed, shaking her head at the boy.

“I’m kidding,” He said whilst laughing.  “Come on, if anything, they’ll know now that I’m edgy, and cool”

“Or stupid” Stan muttered.

Truth was, Richie hadn’t really thought about the fact that this tattoo was now marked on someone else’s ankle, somewhere else in the world.  Soulmates weren’t something that crossed his mind much, especially his own.  Deep down, he didn’t think he would be one of the lucky few who actually met their soulmate, and so he hadn’t thought twice about such a bold tattoo.

He wondered now what they’d thought of it.  If it had hurt when he’d gotten it.  It only stung a little on his end, but surely his soulmate was taken by surprise when suddenly  a tattoo showed up on their leg. ___

A few days later, his soulmate struck back.

While at the quarry with the Losers, he felt a sharp pain on his ankle, right next to his tattoo.

It only lasted a few seconds before he got used to it, and it only took a few seconds for him to realize what was happening.  His soulmate was getting a tattoo, right after the ‘you’ in his ‘fuck you’.  

Richie chuckled, wiping away the small amount of blood that appeared from the invisible needle.  Whoever it was, they were something special.

It was just a small, simple black heart.  Right next to his words.  No more, no less.  And it gave him no clue on who they were.

He liked their sense of humor though.  If they had done this as an act of humor, anyways. ___

(y/n) had decided that she was just going to have to find her soulmate.

Not because she wanted to, no, she wanted to find them so she could give them a piece of her mind.

Her act of revenge had done nothing to help her.  She’d been looking at every ankle of every person she saw, and most were bare.  Or they had something lame, like an infinity sign.

(You’d be surprised how many infinity signs she had the displeasure of seeing)

So she did the best thing she could think of to try and find them.

She went to the library.

And she’d been holed up there all day, reading and re-reading the few textbooks they had about soulmates.  The librarians that had originally been confused by her asking about them, but as the hours passed, they just pitied her.

She’d gone through three so far, and so far, she’d found nothing on how to actually find a soulmate.  All of the stories turned to romance novels were about couples finding each other by chance.  Apparently, tracking down your soulmate was nearly impossible.

“Excuse me,” A voice called behind where she stood, studying the books on the shelf with laser vision.  “I need a book that’s right where you’re standing”

(y/n) turned around, finding a boy behind her, a rather tall boy, with too large glasses and too long curly hair.  And for being dressed like a punk, he was cute.

“Sorry” She mumbled, shuffling away so he could take the book he wanted.

“You know anything about soulmates?” He asked, fingers skimming over the spines as he searched for the book he was looking for.

“Wh-what?”

“Obviously you’re curious, you’ve been standing over here for like- a fucking hour”

Her eyes widened for a moment at his language, before nervously laughing.

“No I… actually the problem is I don’t know enough.  I’m trying to find mine, you see”

The stranger laughed, eyes flickering over to hers as he quirked a brow.

“Isn’t that the point?” He asked, and she felt her face go hot with embarrassment.

“Well- I-”

“I’m trying to find mine too, I guess,” He shrugged.  “But that’s a first for me.  I didn’t really care before now”

“You didn’t?” (y/n) asked, and he nodded, finally taking his book off the shelf.  “I just thought… everyone wanted to find their other half”

“Well, it’s near impossible.  Best of luck to you” He said, before turning back to her and giving her a short salute.

Her brows furrowed at the weird act, but she saluted him back, making him chuckle before he walked off.

(y/n) shook her head, and went back to trying to find the right book that she hoped would magically give her the exact location of her soulmate.

As Richie turned to walk around the corner, the girl in the aisle stood on the tips of her toes, reaching for a book on a shelf just above her head.  Normally, he would’ve just checked her out and been on his merry way.

But the cuff of her jeans rode up as she stood on her tiptoes, revealing her ankle.

Or, more specifically, the tattoo on her ankle.

A very distinct, impossible-to-miss, tattoo, that read ‘FUCK YOU’ with a small black heart next to it.

Richie almost puked.

“Hey,” He called out before he could stop himself, and the girl turned to him, that confused look still on her face.  “We’re both researching soulmates so…”

“So?” She repeated, not following.

For a stranger, this guy was very strange.

“So why not do it together?” He offered, and she made a face.

“Really?” She asked disbelievingly.  “Why?”

“I just fucking said- we’re both trying to figure some stuff out it might be easier to do it together”

“Alright,” She shrugged.  “I’ve got a table in the back with some more stuff, if you want to work over there?”

Richie agreed and followed her to the spot she’d been working all day.  Why he hadn’t just come out and told her that he was her soulmate, he wasn’t sure, and was currently kicking himself for it.

“I’m (y/n) by the way” She told him as she sat across from him at the table, a shy sort of smile on her face.

“Richie,” He replied, and stuck his hand out for her to shake.  “My friends call me Trashmouth”

She chuckled, but nonetheless shook his hand.

“So why are you looking for your soulmate?” He asked.  “Just ready to fall deeply and crazily in love?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, and Richie’s brows furrowed at the action.

“Hell no,” She told him.  “Not yet anyways.  When I meet them, I’m gonna break their frickin’ nose”

Richie scoffed out a laugh, and she looked up at him from the book she was reading.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“Well, usually when people get hellbent on finding their one and only it’s because they’re super lonely and need some lovin’.  But you just wanna beat them up” He gave her a teasing grin, but she just rolled her eyes again.

“Mine’s a psychopath” She muttered.

“Oh?” Richie folded his hands together and set his head atop them, staring at her curiously.  “How so?”

“I just know it”

“Well wouldn’t you be crazy too, then?” He asked.  “Seeing as you’re destined to be together and all”

“Okay, well, I’m not a crazy person, because I would never do this” She stared at him pointedly as she put her shoe on the table, and pulled up the hem of her jeans to show him the tattoo.

Richie smirked looking at it, even though (y/n) had a scowl on her face.

“See that heart there? I added that myself a couple days after the first one showed up” She told him proudly.

“Neat,” He grinned.  “Crazy thing though,” He added, and put his own shoe on the table, pulling up his pant leg to reveal the exact same tattoo.  “I’ve got the same tattoo”

(y/n’s) jaw dropped open, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Oh my god-”

“So do you wanna break my nose now? Or…”

“It’s you?”

“Well don’t sound too lovestruck” He chuckled,putting his foot back on the ground.

“I just- I can’t believe- what’re the odds?” She stammered.

“Well from this book here, about one in thirty,” He said, and she narrowed her eyes at him.  “So, wanna get married?”

“What the hell is the matter with you?” She suddenly declared.  “Getting a tattoo like this? Did you even think first?”

“Sure, about a day” He shrugged.

“Did you think about me? Did you even realize that someone out there was gonna be stuck with this for the rest of their lives too? My life!”

“Okay, you’re screaming in a library now,” Richie chuckled.  “Want to get dinner and you can scream at me some more there?” ___

Three Months Later ___

“So, I can’t believe I never asked,” Beverly spoke from where she sat on the sofa across from (y/n) and Richie.  “How’d you end up meeting, anyways?”

Richie grinned down at the girl that was sitting across his lap, who quietly groaned and rolled her eyes at the look he was giving her.

“It’s such a romantic story,” Richie declared, and his hand held (y/n’s) head against his chest lovingly.  “We met at the library, while this one was trying to find me.  And then she swept me off my feet by threatening to beat me up-”

“Oh my god” Ben’s hushed whisper made Richie crack up, and the other Losers just gave them disbelieving looks.

“Really?” Stan asked, and (y/n) shrugged.

“I wasn’t all too happy about the whole tattoo this dumbass got,” She explained, and the others started to understand.  “I think that my initial… anger… with his is very justified” She said, returning the teasing grin that Richie had previously given her.

“That’s alright.  We want to hit him all the time” Beverly chuckled.

Another round of understanding nods and smiles.

“She makes up for it in bed-”

“Shh” (y/n) hissed, swatting at his chest with the back of her hand, which only made Richie hold her head more securely against him.

“We’re gonna have to fill her in on how the ‘beep beep’ rule works if we want her to stick around” Stan laughed as he spoke.

“Hey! She’s my soulmate, my one and only, she has to stick around!” Richie declared, and (y/n) snuggled deeper into his soft sweater, wrapping her arms around his neck in giving him a cheesy smile.

“Oh, honey,” She spoke pitifully.  “There is definitely a deeper attachment here because I have no clue how we would’ve ended up together anyways”

Richie pulled a face, unsure if that was sweet, or an insult, and (y/n) just giggled, hugging him with a quick squeeze.

“Yeah.  We don’t fuckin’ know either” Eddie said.

“Shut it,” Richie snapped.  “We’re soulmates” He emphasized, cuddling (y/n) impossibly closer to him.

“And how the fuck did you find your soulmate before the rest of us?” Eddie huffed in annoyance.

“Love” Richie said with a big dopey grin.

“And a lot of anger,” (y/n) chimed in.  “Like a lot”

“Got it” Richie muttered.

“Like a really lot.  I wanted to bust your kneecaps first-”

“Got it.”

The teasing was constant, it was probably the most consistent thing about (y/n) and Richie’s relationship.  Except for the excessive need to be around each other, and the touching ((y/n) always said it was Richie, but she couldn’t go five minutes without some form of physical attention either, he liked to tease her about that).  They were an unlikely pair, and if they hadn’t been soulmates, neither were sure they’d ever cross paths.  But neither couldn’t have gone the rest of their life without the other in it.

And now at the ripe young age of eighteen, and had the rest of forever to spend together. ___

xoxo ~ jordie

[lucarioisinthevoid]

Twitch Streamer AU???

(I planned on pushing out a FEW AU asks, but then realized I don’t even have so many. There’s going to be a FNAC event, but that will be an event, not a specific AU ask, so- I guess this is it! Very cursed AU, thank you very much Anon Small warning for mentions of blood, I think? Nothing too bad.)

Streamers, youtubers, content creators. Some people are all of these, some people are none, and some are just one- because each of them needed a very different talent. Those who could do seemingly everything were few and far between- And they ruled the entertainment scene! Thankfully though, the main three as most called them, were also always out for new content to watch. Thus they boosted those that they saw potential in. With some taking the boost and then going off to do their own thing- And some becoming good friends. It always started with a letter. Mike had the habit to do things on stream, as long as no personal details were not visible on them. He used a false email which he regularly changed, and he generally kept himself as safe as possible. Opening emails on stream could be rather fun, even if it was a risk. Sometimes it encouraged people to send bad things- So to prevent the worst, nothing would be downloaded and all emails containing images would be put into the spam bin. Better safe than sorry, the internet was full of terrible people. This day so far had been successful. And by successful it meant that Mike was SCREAMING. “I HATE SUPER MEAT BOY. I WILL COMMIT VIOLENCE AGAINST MEAT IN A MINUTE. I HAVE A BIG F-CKING STEAK IN THE KITCHEN, AND I WILL THROW IT AGAINST THE F_CKING WALL. I WILL GET A HAMMER.” The chat was going wild, cheering. The chat’s phrase of today was “tender Mikey” and it didn’t help at all. “I DID. NOT. HIT THAT! I DID NOT!” A donation popped up, with a robotic voice. ‘Oh hai Mark!’ “NOT FUNNY! NOT F-CKING FUNNY. I’M SUFFERING HERE AND ALL OF YOU SUPPORT IT. YOU’RE ALL F-CKING MONSTERS HERE, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. AND I’M NOT F-CKING TENDERIZING THE MEAT WHEN I SLAP IT AROUND, I’LL RIP IT INTO PIECES AND CONSUME IT RAW!” Standing up, he genuinely went to get it- And fifteen minute later he had slightly calmed down, his hands and room slightly bloody. The chat was still celebrating and donating- another thing that never failed to make Mike BEG them to stop and use the money for something GOOD and SENSIBLE, LIKE THEM-FUCKING-SELF- but he had gotten out most of the energy. “Alright. Alright everyone. ENOUGH. I gotta stop you HERE. It’s email time.”   A celebratory jingle played, as Mike booted up the website, opening the inbox. Memes, storytime, I’m-not-fucking-reading-that-and-you-know-it, and- One of the emails caught his- and the chat’s- attention, however. Sender: Fazbear Entertainment Topic: Challenge Needless to say- once again the chat was out of control and this time there was NOTHING Mike could do to stop them. After opening the email, Mike slowly took a deep breath and looked into the camera, between concerned and honored- But that wouldn’t be enough to rip him from his carefully maintained persona. So he audible scoffed- albeit him being unable to hide an excited grin. “Alright bitches and bastards in the audience- we’re firing SuperMeatBoy up again. You won’t be catching ME losing to a pink son of a bitch anytime soon!” After the letter- provided it was accepted and responded to, the production happened. The deal was that a teaser was dropped on the big channel- The entire video itself was put on the smaller one, attracting the viewers over and hopefully make them more likely to want to see the other works the creator had put out. It was a win-win overall, the big channel being able to vary their content, testing the water for new things- and the smaller channel getting a boost and a lot of tips from very experienced creators. Henry and Dave were very generous people. Jeremy was sitting there, taking deep breaths, trying to stay calm. So far, everyone seemed to be rather kind, even if Jeremy was basically a complete nobody. Hell, he never wanted to be anybody. He just wanted to stream himself baking, for those who never had someone baking with them. Because baking could feel stressful, especially when you were missing ingredients or- many reasons, actually. Not only baking, but cooking too- Sometimes playing games on request, but not much in terms of requests ever came in. And now he was here in an actual studio, soon to be seen by an insane amount of people. A cooking competition. Sounded silly- you couldn’t really FIGHT in something like that… But… Henry and Dave had promised it would be fun. And they were nice. With and without the cameras rolling. Speaking off- There they were, approaching, their assistant coming along. He wore a weird phone-head, to ensure his privacy. Or something. It was kinda weird, but he had just accepted the answer he got. “Why, there you are, Jeremy! Would you like to see the equipment we have prepared?” Henry warmly asked, reaching down with his hand to help his guest stand up. “We have gotten a few extra things, just in case.” As they entered the studio, Jeremy’s invisible eyes went WIDE. “Woah- that looks really nice! I love it here! This is high quality stuff-!” “Fantastic!” Pleased Henry opened his arms in his typical theatrical manner- Before being abruptly interrupted by Dave jumping in, halfway over Henry’s shoulder. “ARE YA READY TO GO!? CAMERAS ARE READY!” “Ah- I- I guess- but-“ “YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS! GET IT ROLLIN’!” “W-wait, I don’t even have-“ “Everyone! Welcome to NOTHIN’ AT ALL!” Henry swiftly fitted in, continuing on with the intro. “Todays challenger is the man, the legend, the baker and occasional chef- Jeremy from Baking With Jeremy!” “Wait, what- that’s seriously your channel name, pal?” A bit offended Jeremy looked into the eyes of the people behind the camera. “U-uh- you guys here- I mean- he has literally called his channel Henry Miller! I- uhm- I-“ Snickering Henry put a hand on his guest’s shoulder. “You are very right about that. Say, are you nervous about losing?” “… n-no. I mean- maybe a little. This place here is big and very professional and I’m not used to many people looking at me…” Taking a deep breath, he gave off a nervous smile for the audience. “… yet, I know- it’s a good thing! And as long as everyone has fun, everything will work out!” “Awwwww, look at him!” Dave said, pleased. “You’re so right! We’ll be havin’ fun!” “But also, I will win.” Henry pointed out. “That is when I have the most fun.” Slightly playful Jeremy smiled. “K-keep that attitude, that will make it even easier to blindside you!” Simon whistled, clearly bemused as he held the camera in place- And Henry smirked. “Sure. Anyhow, the stakes are-“ “Steaks? We’re makin’ steaks? I thought we planned on-“ “Dave. I swear to god.” Henry looked at him from the side, before shaking his head. “What is on the line is easy to see- we have roughly an hour to cook the best meal. If Jeremy wins, we will donate 5000 to a charity of his choice!” “And if the young pal loses, he’ll be joinin’ our channel!” Dave chirped. This was news to the brown-haired boy. “W-wait, we never agreed to that-“ “GET TO YOUR STATIONS!” Someone in the back announced. “WHO’S TODAYS FAVORITE?” Simon checked the stream. “The chat says Jeremy is a clear winner. Nobody trusts Henry to keep his two braincells together for long enough to not forget the salt or something.” “Excuse?!” Not only Henry was APPALLED by the chat, Dave joined right in. “Ya guys have NO taste. I’ll be clearly winnin’… but hey, maybe ya peeps don’t know that I plan to cheat!” Surprised Jerry looked over to Dave’s cooking station. “How… how can you cheat at cooking-“ Before he could finish his sentence, he shrieked as Dave pulled out a flamethrower. “HELL YEAH BABY, I AIN’T WAITING 30 MINUTES FOR SOMETHING TO COOK IN THE OVEN, I’LL BE DONE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES MAX!” “W-WAIT THAT DOESN’T SEEM SAVE-“ Henry just raised his hands, cheerful. “Ready… set…” The Phone Guy made eye- well, rotary- contact with Jeremy, slightly raising a fire extinguisher that was by his side. … alright, it seemed the people here were well-prepared for this scenario. So instead he focused on the ingredients in front of him. Almost manic, Henry’s voice rang. “GO!” And… … that was it! Some joined, with amazing results- Mike rubbed his face. “Who thought that was a great idea. I fucking hate this.” Dave next to him on the couch just grinned. “It’s amazin’ what these websites all offer to sell. You won’t be BELIEVIN’ what’s in this box!” “I’M NOT OPENING IT.” “YOU WILL. OTHERWISE IT’LL HUNT YOUR DREAMS. I’LL PUT THIS BOX NEXT TO YOUR BED. YOUR TOILET. ONTO YOUR DINNER TABLE. INTO THE FRIDGE. I’LL ORDER MORE OF THESE BOXES.” “Jesus CHRIST, calm DOWN-“ “I WILL FIGHT YA TO THE DEATH OLD PAL-“ - and some people just went back to the usual pattern, with the occasional raid from Fazbear Entertainment. They asked first, of course. Each of them fulfilled their own niche, each of them had caught Henry’s and Dave’s attention in one way or another. Henry and Dave however- Well, Dave was the varied creator. Henry liked his niche. He played horror, investigated ARGs, read stories about real and fictional crimes against humanity. The world was a terrible place, wasn’t it? Yet he reveled in it. Aside from that he showed extra effects, he built machines and thought everyone one or another thing about creating special effects at home. From dry ice to genuinely ridiculous chain-reactions, Henry showed them it all. Blood too, multiple forms of it, depending on how and where it would be used. Sometimes breaking it off with more light-hearted one-off games and listening to what his community wanted to see… but the most comfortable he was with horror and analysis. He was a youtuber, a streamer, a content creator… … and one thing more. It wasn’t easy to find the code. But his intended audience were a very small amount of people. A small number of strangers. There was no way to know if anyone ever made it to more than one show, but Henry did not care. It wasn’t for them that he did this. Him and William moved down, down below the set, into the lowest regions of the house. The workshop. Nobody really question why you added what to your home if you were a creative person. Even less so if you were a famous, eccentric creator. Yes, the free reign was what he REALLY loved about his job. Maybe he should build his studio somewhere else- But like this it was so much more thrilling! Wordlessly both of them put on their suits. It would hide their identity perfectly- especially the animal heads that contorted their voices a bit. Enough. Today’s participant wore a mask too- another phone head, differently made, different style, but to hide their identity too. However, the voice was in no way muffled. Panicked the person dragged on the chains keeping them attached to the chair. “H-HELLO!? HELLO!? S-SOMEONE- IS SOMEONE HERE!?” A noisy one! Delightful! Both Fredbear and Springbonnie stepped out of the shadows, one form each side. While Springbonnie put his hands gently on the shoulders of the whimpering person, Fredbear stepped in front of the camera, bowing. “Ladies and gentlemen-“ The low voice sounded more like the one of an animal than from a person. Yet it was smooth and comforting. “- I welcome you to yet another installment of our show. I am Fredbear, and over there is my wonderful assistant, Springbonnie. Today we have brought a simple stranger, a nobody who might not even be missed. Thusly I encourage you to truly be creative with your ideas. And while your votes roll in, maybe I point out that next time we will have another little game-show, with quite the effects. We might even get a real bull! You will not want to miss it.” The board above the camera blinked up, as a bitter fight of votes started, everyone wanting to see something else. Three tiers to vote on! Foreplay (light injuries), main course (heavy injury leading to death) and of course what to do with the body. Below it was a little measure for “face reveal”. Some of their viewers really enjoyed seeing the expressions during and after. It came with a risk to Fredbear and Springbonnie, as the victim being recognizable meant their general area of activity was more obvious- thus it was incredibly expensive. They knew there was every now and again law enforcement mixed up between the genuine watchers. It was thrilling too- Yet Fredbear wanted to keep this game alive as long as he could. Thus it was important to hide what they could. Fredbear was a creator first and foremost, an entertainer second- And there was nothing that attracted an HONEST, an UNRESTRAINED, a PURE audience quite like violence. Once blood spilled, humans degraded and it was wonderful. Behind him, the victim began rattling even more erratic. “WHAT- WHAT IS THIS?! LET ME OUT- PLEASE- LET ME OUT- PLEASE- I- DIDN’T DO ANYTHING-“ Burying his hands into the shoulders of Springbonnie downright cackled, enjoying the mania that always accumulated in these situation. “Be still, new friend! The audience HATES too much whining, y’know? And at least you could die with your tongue still intact, wouldn’t that be nicer than having to swallow the thing? Once it almost killed someone, boy, that sure was a bother!” His voice was changed to a cartoonish, upbeat pitch- “While the votes come in, how about we quiz today’s friend… maybe if you are smart enough, they will want you to live! It happened before… o n c e.” Fredbear took out a long scalpel, the face a morbid grimace. “Surprise us!”

[missmalice202]

Designing Your Melody: Chapter 03 - Candy Hearts

Chapter 01  -  Chapter 02

Luka Couffaine was, under normal circumstances, a pretty chill guy. To anyone who knew him, they would think that nothing could ruffle his feathers. Under normal circumstances.

This was definitely NOT one of those times.

He had been out delivering a package for the courier service he worked part time for when a tornado with midnight blue hair had collided with him, leaving her sprawled out on the sidewalk and the folder she had been carrying exploding like confetti. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how utterly frantic she had been. She had been in such a panic, she even sounded chaotic; a cacophony of discordant notes and clashing chords. Apologizing profusely as she scrambled around to gather her papers, Luka felt the need to grab her hand, if only to distract her long enough to take a breath. It wouldn’t do to have the poor girl pass out in the middle of the street because she had been hyperventilating so hard.

Then, as quickly as she had crashed into him, she took off again, sprinting away as fast as her feet could carry her. Still a little stunned from the encounter, he hadn’t noticed the paper she had left behind in her hurry. But when it crinkled under his boot as he stood back up, he saw it.

He had definitely not anticipated being stunned speechless for a second time so soon after regaining his own stable footing. The sketch she had left behind spoke to his soul on a primal level. Normally, he didn’t let things affect him so strongly, but there was just something about the outfit that she had put to paper that lit a fire in his creative heart. The melody ringing in his ears as he gazed at that paper was overwhelming.

Snapping out of his reverie, Luka had attempted to chase after the girl, but she had disappeared without a trace. He looked down at the design to see if there was anything on it that could point him in the direction of his newest muse. And the fates had smiled down upon him: there, in the bottom right hand corner, were three small letters. MDC.

Relieved that he at least had a tiny clue as to who his mystery designer was, he had carefully folded up the page in his hand, stuck it in the inside pocket of the leather riding jacket he wore when he was making deliveries, and went back to work.

But the melody wouldn’t leave his mind. As he raced his bike through the crowded streets, narrowly avoiding parked cars and pedestrians alike, all he heard echoing in his ears was the same melody, over and over and over again. Playing in a constant loop. Driving him to distraction, which was a dangerous thing to do when fighting through rush hour traffic on the congested city streets.

So he had forced himself to focus, ignoring the tune crying out for his attention.

After he was done with his deliveries for the day, he had pulled out his cell phone, opened up his twitter, and posted his location, allowing his followers to find him if they wanted to come see him perform. He had found that it was easier to use social media to advertise his performances rather than tie himself down with a specific venue at a specific time. It gave him a sense of freedom to showcase his music as little or as much as he wanted. And today, he needed to be surrounded by his own music, if only to drown out the invasive melody still circling around his mind.

He played for a few hours, his guitar case open on the sidewalk in front of him so passers-by could throw some euros in if they liked his sound. But that wasn’t the reason he played. He played for the music itself. Sure, the money he earned was appreciated, but he would have played even without it. To him, music was a part of him, as natural and necessary as breathing. He usually didn’t even have to concentrate on his fingers pressing against the strings of his guitar. But today, he had to really focus to keep his hands from playing the song that was aching to be let out. Once again, he ignored its desperate plea for release. It was still too raw and too personal for public exposure yet. He wouldn’t play that song until he found her again.

Feeling his phone vibrate against his leg from inside his front pocket, he took a break and checked the time. With a smile, he packed up his guitar, slung it over his back, and took off on his bike towards the waterfront where his mother’s houseboat, the Liberty, had been moored. He wasn’t one to live his life by keeping to a schedule, but there was one exception: meeting up with his friends to play a video game he had recently been involved in.

As he pedaled down the streets on his way home, he thought about how such a simple thing as a video game could completely change his day to day life. He usually wasn’t one to spend time in front of a screen. His music took up too much of his time for that. But after hearing his friend and co-collaborator, Nino, talking about how awesome the soundtrack of the game was a few months ago, he had been intrigued. He had gone to Nino’s house for a jam session one day and he had convinced Luka to give it a shot.

That was all it had taken to get him hooked. The music alone would have captivated him, something he hadn’t really considered possible before. Apparently, video game music had come a long way since he had last picked up a controller when he was a little kid. But the game mechanics, the online play, the community of it was what drew him in for good.

Immediately after leaving Nino’s house that afternoon, Luka had gone to the store and picked up a copy of Ultimate Mecha Strike 4 for himself. It wasn’t long before he was spending as much time playing with a controller as he did with his guitar.

Once his DJ friend had realized how into UMS4 Luka had become, he invited him to participate in a few missions with his clan. Apparently, they were a big deal in the gamer world, so Luka thought “why not?” and joined them. Playing with a team brought a whole new feel to the game. He normally had a really hard time communicating with other people; word play had never been his strong suit. But having a degree of separation between him and the person he was talking to in the form of his headset seemed to make it easier for his thoughts to get across. And Nino’s clanmates were nothing short of amazing.

Luka knew that Nino played with some friends of his from high school, but he never told Luka who they were. Which was ok with him. He didn’t need to know anything about the people on the other side of the screen any more than they needed to know anything about him. The anonymity actually made him more comfortable being himself.

Now, months after becoming an official member of “Miraculous Kwami”, Luka considered his clanmates to truly be his friends.

Finally arriving back at the houseboat he called home, he carried his bike down the gangway and hung it from the hooks in the ceiling of the cabin. With his mom backpacking around Europe searching for “the sounds of inspiration”, he and his sister had taken the opportunity to clear out some of the disorder she had been so fond of. He knew that as soon as she returned, chaos would take over the Liberty once again, but for now, the Couffaine siblings would enjoy a bit of serenity in their home.

“What’s up?” he heard a soft voice ask as he came down the stairs leading below deck. He looked over to the blue wrap around couch against the wall and saw his purple-haired sister sitting there, playing on her phone. Juluka had really come out of her shell over the past few years, her budding modeling career probably being the main reason for that. Or possibly her relationship with Rose, her extremely bubbly and energetic girlfriend. Now those two were the epitome of “opposites attract”, but Luka could understand their relationship. What one lacked, the other one made up for. They created a perfect harmony with each other, though sometimes when they got together, they were sweeter than those candy hearts sold during Valentine’s day and left him feeling a bit nauseous. On those occasions, he simply grabbed his guitar and found a park to play in, giving them some privacy to have some alone time. One drawback of living on a boat was thin walls.

“Work was pretty busy,” he answered as he set his guitar on the stand against the wall next to the couch. “I think I rode at least 50 kilometers this morning.” He sighed as he sat down on the couch next to his sister.

“Ouch,” she winced in sympathy, still tapping on her phone, “you’ll be feeling that in the morning. Anything else happen today?” She tucked her purple tipped black hair behind her ear and put her phone down next the her, finally giving her brother her full attention.

“Actually, yeah,” he responded, chuckling to himself. “I got run over by a muse while I was on my break this morning.”

“A what now?” Sometimes her brother could be so weird, she thought.

“This girl crashed into me while she was running somewhere and ever since, I’ve had this song stuck in my head. It won’t go away and it’s driving me a little crazy.” He reached into his jacket pocket to show his sister the source of his inspiration, when her phone started ringing.

“Wow, sounds like you’ve got some songwriting to do,” she murmured as she grabbed her phone and started walking away. “I’ve got to go. I’m meeting Rose at a little bistro she wanted to try together and I’m already running late. We’ll talk when I get back.”

Watching his sister’s willowy form walk up the stairs, he tucked the folded paper securely back into his pocket before withdrawing his hand from inside his jacket and heading further into the cabin to where his bunk was located.

After checking his phone to confirm the time, he took off his riding jacket and set it next to him on his bunk. Game time, he thought to himself, grabbing his teal tinted controller from the charging dock next to his bed. Donning a set of blue headphones and he was ready.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

Luka was the first to arrive at his clan’s hideout tonight, it would seem. He walked around for a bit while he waited for the others to load in. After only a few minutes, he saw a notification pop up in the lower corner of his screen. LADYBUG is online. He smiled. Out of all the members of his clan, he enjoyed playing with Ladybug the most. There was just something about her voice that resonated in his ears when he talked to her. The distortion through the headphones wasn’t enough to mask how clear her voice was, like the ringing of a bell.

He turned his avatar around so he could see hers when she arrived at their base. When he saw her avatar pop on screen in front of him, he pressed the button on his controller to perform an elaborate bow. “Good evening, Lady luck,” he playfully greeted her.

“Hi there, Viperion. Long time no see,” she responded with a wave.

“What’s the plan for tonight? Who else is going to be on, do you know?” A small part of him wanted it to be just the two of them. It wasn’t often that they got to play as a pair since they were usually joined by the other members, but he enjoyed spending time with the red and black lady.

She walked over to where his avatar was standing. “I just got off the phone with Rena, so she should be joining us soon. I haven’t spoken with Carapace or Chat today, but I haven’t heard of any reason why they shouldn’t be on. Did any of the others say anything to you about when they would be on after I logged off the other night?”

“Monkey said something about preparing for a competition, so he might not be able to get on, but Pegasus said he’d be here a little later. And as far as I know, Ryuko is planning on being here.”

“That’s good. We have enough people to try for that bow you’ve been wanting. It’s a limited time event, so we need to grab it for you while we have the chance. I know I’m going to be busy for the next couple of weeks.”

“Oh?” He was interested in what could possibly pull her away from her favorite game. Ladybug was almost always online, even if she was just lurking around their hideout, chatting with the other members of their clan.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I’ve got a really important project coming up and I need to focus on that. I already royally screwed up today, and I can’t afford to make any more mistakes.” Just by the tone of her voice, Luka could tell that she was upset about her blunder.

“Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes it helps to share the burden with someone else.”

Her soft giggle echoed in his ears. “Thanks, Viperion. I’m good. I already ranted to Rena about it, so I’m fine now. Just a little stressed out.” She sighed. “This project is the biggest thing I’ve ever done and it could make or break my entire career.”

“Okay, just remember that if you ever need to vent or anything, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.”

Just then, other notifications began popping up on his screen.

CHAT NOIR is online.

CARAPACE is online.

RENA ROUGE is online.

“Looks like the gang is starting to arrive,” Ladybug commented. “Let’s get to work.”

“Ready whenever you are,” he responded with a smirk. “Let’s get that loot.”

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

Setting his controller back on the charging dock, Luka stood up and stretched his arms over his head, arching his back to work out the kinks that had developed after sitting in the same position for such a long period of time. Glancing at his cell phone to see how long he’d been at it, he was shocked to discover it was almost midnight! He had to get to sleep ASAP. He had to head to the studio in the morning for a recording session with Jagged Stone.

After his regular guitarist, Vivica, had taken some time off for maternity leave, the rock legend had been desperate to find someone to fill in. When he had shown up at the Liberty and discovered that his former guitarist and Luka’s mom, Anarka, was no longer in the city and therefore no longer available to help, Jagged had heard Luka playing and immediately asked him to fill in whenever he had the time.

At first, Luka had been shocked that his idol wanted to work with him. But over time, the novelty had worn off as he realized that Jagged had a tendency to be completely immature at times and extremely temperamental. Luckily, it took quite a bit to ruffle Luka’s feathers and he usually ignored the megastar when he was having a meltdown.

Mentally preparing himself for the trials he was sure to endure at tomorrow’s recording session, Luka took a deep breath, holding it for a moment with his eyes closed before slowly exhaling. He stripped off his clothes and slipped between his sheets clad only in his boxers.

Turning his bedside light off, he closed his eyes and felt himself drift off to sleep, the melody that had been plaguing him all day now acting as a lullaby and lulling him to sleep.

Chapter 04

*This chapter was really hard for me to put together. I knew what I wanted to happen, and I saw it happen in my head, but apparently, Luka is a little stubborn when it comes to being put onto paper. Hopefully he isn’t so temperamental next chapter, because he’s such a sweet, soft boy that I’d hate to have to do anything bad to him because he made me angry hahaha. Until next time XOXO*

[blog20041994punam]

Numerology - Discover Your Purpose

Numerology has been used for thousands of years to determine specific things about an individual. The Pythagoras were the first to discover that numbers have a vibration to them, and each number has a specific vibrational field around them. They believed that we create our life by giving our parents our name that we want to be born with and specific date of birth that we choose to come forth in. So they have discovered meanings of the numbers and their influence on our lives. Numerology is also to believed to be used by our spirit guides to help us along in life by pointing out specific number patterns to us while we go through our daily lives. Remember Mathematics has been considered the Universal language for some time now. That can't just be a coincidence.

Furthermore, according to Underwood Dudley, author of "Numerology: Or What Pythagoras Wrought", the Pythagoreans became interested in number mysticism after discovering a particularly fascinating fact about numbers. If you add up a series of odd numbers beginning with the number one, the result is always a square number.

Discoveries like this led the Pythagoreans to the conclusion that "all is number." According to one interpretation, this means that people can measure everything in the world and describe it in terms of numbers and proportions. This is a reasonable idea, and it has had a big influence on science and mathematics. But according to another interpretation, "all is number" means that everything in the world is made of numbers and can be reduced to a numerical value.

Along with describing numbers in terms of math and geometry, the Pythagoreans also described them in terms of non-numerical traits. These traits had more to do with intuition and mysticism than science or mathematics. For example, odd numbers were masculine, and even numbers were feminine. The number one was creative, since the addition of multiple ones can create any other number. Two represented duality and was female, while three was male. As the sum of two and three, five represented marriage, and since it fell exactly in the middle of the numbers one through nine, it also represented justice.

Ten was a sacred number, largely because it is the sum of the first four digits. The holiness of the number 10 led to a list of 10 fundamental opposites:

Limited and unlimited

Odd and even

One and many

Right and left

Masculine and feminine

Rest and motion

Straight and crooked

Light and darkness

Good and evil

Square and oblong [Source: Dudley]

Systems also designate numbers with repeating digits as master numbers, which include all the attributes of two other numbers:

11: 1 and 2

22: 2 and 4

33: 3 and 6

44: 4 and 8

Numerology has been used to tell the future, guide human behavior, predict the outcome of relationships and otherwise divine the unknowable by figuring out a person's numbers. For example, if the number 5 has a particular vibration, a person whose number is 5 has the same vibration. That person can choose what to eat, where to go and how to live based on which choices have a vibration that is compatible with 5.

Numerologists will interpret the results and the meanings of each number to make recommendations or theorize about a person's future. Recommendations often include:

Lucky days or lucky numbers

Optimal career paths for a person's numerological temperament

Negative tendencies to avoid

Positive attributes to emphasize

What to look for in a romantic partner

Business Decisions

How is Spirit Guiding you

How to find your numerology number? Read on.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A B C D E F G H I

J K L M N O P Q R

S T U V W X Y Z

This chart is how to find the numbers from your name. It's universal and has been used for thousands of years in every language. Our name makes up our Expression/Destiny number and our Soul Urge/ Heart Desires Number. Use this chart to find yours. I set up an example of Angelina Jolie to help you out.

For example: Angelina Jolie Voight.

Calculating a Expression/Destiny Number:

Angelina=36, 3+6=9. So Angelina=9.

Jolie=24, 2+4=6. so Jolie=6.

Voight=36, 3+6=9. So Voight=9

36+24+36=96. 9+6=15. 1+5=6

9+9+6=24. 2+4=6

Angelina Jolie is a 6.

Calculating a Life Path Number:

Her birthday is June 4th, 1975

6+4=10.. 1+9+7+5=22.. 10+22=32. 3+2=5

Calculating a Soul Urge Number:

A,E,I,A. O,I,E. O,I.

Angelina = 16. 1+6=5. Jolie = 20. 2+0=2. Voight = 15. 1+5=6.

5+2+6= 13. 1+3=4.

Her Life Path Number is 5.

Her Expression/Destiny Number is 6.

Her Soul Urge/Hearts Desire Number is 4.

To get a better understanding here's a simple definition of the most basics that numerologists look for when they start adding from the letters in our name, the vowels in our name and our birthday.

Life Path Number: The Life Path is the sum of the birth date of a person. This number represents who you are at birth and the native traits that you will carry with you through life. The Life Path describes the nature of this journey through life.

Expression Number: A number derived from all of the letters in your full birth name make up what is called the Expression or Destiny number. This is the number that describes the talents and attitudes at your disposal in this lifetime, if you choose to develop and use them of course. This is sometimes referred to as your potential or destiny. Living up to attributes of this number may not be easy, but it is your goal. It is your life's purpose, spiritual mission, and your field of opportunity. Unlike the Life Path number which reads as you ARE, the Expression number more correctly reads as you MUST, to accomplish your mission in this lifetime.

Soul Urge Number :The Soul Urge or as it is sometimes called, the heart's desire, is an important influence in numerology .This means your inner craving, likes and dislikes. It's made up of the vowels in your name.

Here is what the basic of numbers mean: The details are relatively similar from numerologists, this is just an example of each number.

Number 0 - Limitless, Unity, Nothingness, Boundless, Truth, Purity, Love, All, Alpha and Omega, Possibility, First Cause, Unmanifest, Breath of God, Unified Field, Source, Space, Consciousness, Cosmic Egg, God.

Number 1 - Beginning, New, Focused concentration, Goal-striving, Action, Independence, Originality, Courage, Invention, Leader, Self-reliant, Ambition, Pioneer, Will, Conscious Mind, Positive.

Number 2 - Duality, Division, Polarity, Choice, Gestation, Cooperation, Service, Harmony, Support, Waiting, Diplomacy, Patience, Psychic, Intuition, Adaptable, Empathic, Partnership, Mediator, Comparison, Receptive, Helper, Collecting, Reproduction, Balancer of Opposites, Subconscious Memory, Positive and Negative.

Number 3 - Trinity, Union of Divine plus Human, Manifestation, Positive, Negative and Neutral, Expression, Subconscious Mind/Imagination, Creative, Optimistic, Enthusiasm, Expressive, Charming, Humour, Fun, Attractive, Friendly.

Number 4 - Practical, orderly, patient, logical, hard-working, loyal, builder, steadfast, frugal, responsible, earthy, planner, materially creative, green thumb, even tempered.

Number 5 - Adventure, change, freedom, exploration, variety, sensuality, unattached, curious, experienced, periodicity, knowledge seeker, knowledge teacher, traveller, imagination, child-like, playful.

Number 6 - Harmony, beauty, nurturing, love, marriage, family, responsibility, understanding, sympathy, healing, empathic, perfectionist, order, duty, comfort, service.

Number 7 - Philosopher, sage, wisdom seeker, reserved, inventor, stoic, contemplative, aloof, deep-thinker, introspective, spiritual, faith, esoteric, exotic, unusual, hidden, seeking perfection, ethereal, other worldly, enigma.

Number 8 - Achievement, abundance, executive, strength, self-disciplined, power, success, authority, psychology, entrepreneur, intensity, supervisor, provider, grandeur, material manifester.

Number 9 - Endings, completion, humanitarian, compassionate, romantic, selfless, generous, philanthropic, loving, wisdom, idealist, artistic, spiritual healer, all allowing, other worldly, blending.

Numerology has been used for business decisions, relationship advice, seeing the signs of the Universe and/or Spirit Guides, Karmic situations, subconscious dreaming, what to overcome in this specific life, why you are the way you are, Maturity level, Rational Thought. There is a literally a number for everything that makes up who we are on every level. It takes a lot of studying and work to find all this information on your own, (trust me I've looked), I find it easier to just get a reading. Enjoy finding out what really makes me you tick.

Peace to all Beings and may Love and Wisdom guide you through Life!!!

Learn more about it and get your personalized numerology report for free.

[its-r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s]

The Right Side of Wrong- Ch 1: W-I-C-K-E-D

Words: 2,435

Warnings: nightmares, mentions of gang activity, mentions of death and trauma, stress

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY!! I’m not sure how many of you were dying for me to start posting again, but frankly, I was. I missed getting feedback from you guys! I’m so very glad to finally be back and able to post actual writing for you guys. As you know, I spent quite a bit of time trying to perfect this story so I really hope you guys enjoy it like you did the first one!

(If this is the first time you’ve seen one of my stories: Hi! Welcome! Feel free to check out my first rewrite, “Call Me A Freak”, for a better grasp on what is going on in this one!)

Call Me A Freak- Ch 1 | Preview | Ch 2

~ ~ ~

I blinked, attempting to register my surroundings. It was just too dark. I could make out the low fog settled around my feet as I stumbled forward. It almost glowed, a light blue-ish, green-ish color.

There were murmurs up ahead. People.

In my hazy determination to find them, I ran directly into something. The top half of my body fell forward, catching myself on the edges of the cauldron.

The steam that emanated from it blurred my vision as I pushed myself away from it. The water inside bubbled and boiled, the same sickly color as the fog around me. As I rubbed my eyes, I approached once more, getting a better look inside.

Bobbing across the top, were dozens of ripe, red apples.

“W-” I could hear someone whisper in the distance. “I-C-”

I turned on my heel, but the sound came from everywhere, surrounding me.

“K-”

I tried to run away from the cauldron, but the minute I was around one, I ran into another.

“E-D.”

I kept running, doing my best to dodge cauldrons and skip over the fallen apples that littered the floor. In a blink, I found myself running through the halls of Auradon Prep.

They were empty. Along the way, a few apples were discarded on the ground, all with single bites in them.

Across the lockers that lined the school, in large purple letters, were the words: LONG LIVE EVIL.

That was my work. It had to be. And my paint.

“Mother always knows best,” the quiet voice came back.

I dashed out of the hallway and down the stairs towards the front of the school.

It was too empty. Too quiet. And too messy.

“Show her. Pass every test.”

The entrance to the school was a mess. Apples and papers everywhere. The Beast statue was defaced with spray paint.

“Hear her voice in your head.”

And flying high over the school was a new flag. An old design which I had long since discarded. A silhouette of my mother, the words ‘Long Live Evil’ in green on a purple background.

“Evil is the only real way to win,” the voice beckoned me.

~ ~ ~

My hands were holding me up, pressed against the Beast statue at the front of Auradon Prep.

I noticed multiple familiar faces within the crowd of paparazzi. Hadn’t they learned their lesson? Hadn’t any of them?

I had been known to shriek, break down, and run off while on camera. A result of sensory overload most often, but it could also be triggered by… uncomfortable questions.

All of my friends had become experts in the art of avoiding paparazzi specifically for this reason. They knew I was still healing and god was it hard to heal when you were also the girlfriend of the king.

So, sometimes, when I needed to be by myself, I wandered alone and that’s almost always where they found me. Photographers and interviewers all desperately looking for a brief word right when I needed space.

They weren’t the best on timing.

“Only three days to the Royal Cotillion!” a young woman exclaimed, shoving a mic at my face. I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted me to say in response to that, so I nodded, smiling tightly.

“Ever think that a girl like you would be a Lady of the Court?”

I blinked, temporarily blinded by a particularly close shot at my face.

“How do you feel being the most envied girl in Auradon?”

I scoffed, but was bombarded with more questions.

“Okay! All right!” I could hear Ben exclaim, pushing his way through the crowd towards me. I sighed in relief, glad to know that someone would be able to get me out of there. “Excuse me.”

He held a half eaten apple in his hand, which looked suspiciously similar to the ones in my dream. That had been a common occurrence recently: deja vu.

He wrapped an arm around me the minute he reached me. He had on one of his signature blue suits with a gold handkerchief. I quickly turned into his shoulder to regain my composure while the crowd turned on him.

“Did you ever think you’d be with a Villain Kid?”

Ben and I both whipped around to look at the woman who had asked. I bit down tightly on the inside of my cheek as Ben chuckled next to me. Multiple people had gone silent, waving mics in Ben’s face to pick up his answer.

“We’re done here,” he responded politely, grabbing me from the opposite shoulder and leading me away from the cameras.

In a whirl, with perfect timing, as always, Fairy Godmother took command of the cameras, preventing them from following the two of us as we left and asking them to make their exit.

“You feeling alright?” he automatically asked, running a hand over my back.

“Fine,” I said, quickly. “A little overwhelmed, but I’ll be alright.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. “It gets frustrating at times. Sometimes I wonder if they say some of those things just to get a reaction out of me. They want to watch me break and be the villain my mother was.”

“Don’t pay any attention to them.”

“Well, that’s a lot easier said than done, right?”

“I know, I know,” he sighed. “You know, maybe we should do something. We should go somewhere. Get away.”

While I appreciated the suggestion, I was so tired that when I thought of getting away, that included getting away from Ben. I wanted to just have some time to myself again. Some privacy again. I hadn’t seen a moment alone practically since I had gotten off the island.

“Yeah,” I replied halfheartedly, but he didn’t even seem to notice, distracted by his own watch.

“I have a council meeting. I’m so late!” His face pinched in stress. I knew he didn’t want to leave me here, especially after just promising some time to ourselves, but he had responsibilities.

“That’s okay,” I told him. I had gotten really good at pretending like things were totally fine, the Auradon way. On the Isle, if I was upset, I would hide it underneath my anger, but here I had to smile and act like a feather when bricks were weighing me down.

“We’ll do it sometime!” He promised, leaning down to kiss my cheek, but he hadn’t made contact before someone else was dragging me away.

“If we don’t do a fitting for your gown right this minute, you’ll be dancing in your bathrobe, okay?” Evie insisted.

Turns out everyone was stressed, because Evie was never so forward unless something needed to be done. In fact, she was rather efficient nowadays, but all that meant was piling on more work than she needed because she could power through it.

“Hi!” She smiled at Ben, sort of an apology for stealing me away, but if I knew Evie, she was well aware that Ben had stuff to do anyways. “Let’s go. Let’s go!” she sang to me, dragging me towards the dorms.

“Bye, Ben!” I called.

“Bye.”

I stumbled after her, trying to keep up in my heels. Evie was so well adapted to the formal, princess life (mostly because her mother had been teaching her she was royalty since she was a girl) that I looked like peasantry in her presence.

Once we had made it to the dorm rooms, she pulled down the pieces she had made of my dress and had me start fitting sections on.

It was yellow, with blue sequins and accents across the top and down the skirt. Evie had chosen it so that I would match Ben and fit the “Beauty and the Beast” aesthetic of all the events.

Evie began the process of pinning and marking the edges of the dress to be hemmed, where she would close up the back of the dress and tighten the waist. I stood still, my thoughts drifting, as they normally did when Evie forced me up onto her dress stand.

The dress was huge. I couldn’t imagine getting out the door, much less dancing for hours in it. Evie was fairly accommodating to my needs when it came to her designs, but there was also a certain standard that my outfits were expected to meet. I couldn’t just wear anything to a ball like this. Eyes would be on me at all times and I had to look traditional. I had to fit in. The people of Auradon were just jumping for an excuse to make me look bad.

Evie pulled me from my thoughts as she forced my shoulders back, so that the dress would fit me correctly.

I squealed a moment, in shock, but I was cut off when Evie pulled the corset together in back and pinned it there, squeezing my rib cage uncomfortably.

“Okay, Evie? I cannot breathe.”

She stepped around me, going back to her work table. “Well then, you can breathe after Cotillion.” I glared at her and she shrugged. “It won’t stay up unless it’s tight, M.”

“I sincerely doubt that I’ll ever be allowed to breathe again,” I grumbled. “I have at least twenty events directly behind it and I can’t remember what a single one of them is.”

Evie walked around me, pulling out the bottom of the dress to get a good look at it in full.

“Impeccable,” she smiled to herself.

I was glad Evie was getting some sort of satisfaction for her work. I mean, she was constantly designing and sewing dresses now and they always turned out amazing. Everyone was thrilled with her efforts and she was getting paid.

Not to mention, despite all the stress it caused her, especially right now, with the Cotillion so close, she was happy. She loved making dresses for others. It brought her peace and made her feel like she was doing some good for others. And she got to hang out with her new boyfriend, Doug, as she worked.

My eyes drifted away and I noticed my old leather jacket on the coat rack by the door.

I’m not sure why I kept it. I didn’t wear it anymore. Frankly, I couldn’t. My outfits nowadays were kind of expected to reach a level of sophistication. But the two green dragons, twisted into a heart, left a familiar sense of calm.

“Evie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever think about what we’d be doing if we were back on the Isle right now?”

I regretted the words the minute they left my mouth.

These dreams I’d been having were unsettling to me. I had read up on reoccuring dreams and how it’s believed they are predicting something. And that terrified me. Not just the empty school and the vandalism and apples, but the fact that my mother was somehow involved in all of it.

“Why do you ask?” she said, seriously.

It was upsetting. Sometimes I felt like everything was going too fast and no one was giving me space. And then the minute I admitted this, I was being babied. My mother had died almost a year ago and still, no one dared mention her name around me.

I just wish I had some time to truly find myself. Once we had abandoned the Isle, the four of us had basically lost any sense of identity we previously had. We were no longer the leader, the thief, the flirt, and the snake.

Evie and Jay had truly found their calling. Evie could practically make a living for herself at this point and Jay was looking into universities to continue playing Tourney at. And Carlos wasn’t completely set yet, but he was relaxed, still messing around with different types of tech and looking after Dude.

I was just trying to survive.

“I’m fine,” I replied, stepping down from the pedestal.

Evie didn’t say anything, turning back towards her work table. I figured she was done at this point and was about to ask her to help me get the dress off when I saw a book on my nightstand, titled The Lady’s Manners.

I gasped rushing over to grab it. I was supposed to run through all of this a week ago, but it had completely slipped my mind. Ben had given it to me to prepare for the Cotillion, seeing as it would be a massively covered event and his parents would be present.

Luckily, my spellbook was also on hand and I had the precise spell for this already marked. “Read it fast, at lightning speed. Remember everything I need,” I recited.

Quickly, I transferred the spell on to the book of manners and began flipping through the pages, running my eyes down the lines to grab any information I could.

“I know Mal’s secret to fitting in and Ben wouldn’t like it one bit,” Evie scolded beside me.

I sent a quick glare in her direction, then continued my skimming.

“Haven’t you guys had enough secrets between the two of you already?”

I rolled my eyes. “What’s the harm, E? These girls around school have had their whole lives to study and learn the ways of a ‘lady’. I’ve had a couple of months. You saw how I was before I started to use magic and it wasn’t good. I was a disaster. I was a shame to Ben and everything his family stands for.”

“You were recovering,” she insisted. “But now, you’ve been talking to therapists, you’re getting your head back on your shoulders, and personally, I strongly believe that this spellbook-” she reached into my lap and took it from me, “-belongs in the museum along with my mirror.”

“Well, it’s hard to act like a person when no one treats you like one,” I grumbled.

“What do you mean?”

I shrugged off the question, changing to subject. “You don’t ever miss running wild?”

“Stealing, and lying, and fighting?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Don’t you miss the freedom of it all?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “M, why would we? Look at us! We’re happy! We’re in Auradon! Where is all of this coming from?”

I shook my head. “Nowhere. Just… wondering.”

“If that’s true,” she answered, briefly squeezing my hand, “then can we please just leave the past in the past?”

I looked into Evie’s eyes as she said that and deeply felt sorry for saying anything. Evie was doing her best to comfort me and make sure that I was alright, but she had some deep scars from the Isle herself. She didn’t want to talk about it unless she had to.

So, I just nodded solemnly.

[yeoldenews]

Do you have advice for reading yeoldie handwriting, because honestly that's one of the hardest things when I'm doing research.

It really varies based on what time period you’re dealing with, but a few general tips for people off the top of my head…

1. This first one may seem insultingly obvious, but…

If you don’t already know it - LEARN CURSIVE.

I completely understand why they don’t teach it anymore, but if you are planning to work with historical documents in any capacity it is NOT an optional skill.

It also helps to find a period penmanship chart specific to the era you’re working with and learn how all the individual letters were written then - a lot of times they’ve changed.

Some letters, that you wouldn’t necessarily think of as being similar, looked a lot alike at certain points in history. Capital W’s, H’s and N’s are pretty darn indistinguishable in a lot of mid-19th century documents. Same with capital S’s and L’s.

2. Practicing writing in whatever style writing you are trying to read is also incredibly helpful.

Try writing with a fountain pen or a quill to see how it changes how you write.

I mentioned before in a post that I never got the point of the “long s” before I tried writing with a quill and discovered what a pain writing two s’s in a row was.

Sometimes if you can’t figure out a word, copying it out yourself will make something click.

Practicing like this will also really help you understand why you see a lot of the common writing quirks/errors I’m going to mention in my next tip.

3. It may seem obvious, but keep always keep in mind that people are people and they make mistakes. They skip words, make spelling errors, get their/there/they’re or to/too mixed up, squish letters/words together, forget to dot their i’s and cross their t’s, etc.

The most common handwriting quirks/errors that seem to throw people off are…

-‘i’ dots not being above the ‘i’ (or not being there at all)/‘t’ crosses not actually crossing the ‘t’, being forgotten, or just crossing the entire word with no regard for where the ‘t’ actually is

for example…

vacation…

father…

that (in which Rachel manages to cross the H and miss the two T’s entirely)…

-Numerous what I call “bumpy letters” (notably: m, n, r, u, w) in a row.

I must stop now…

Sometimes counting the bumps works (3 for m, 2 for n/u, etc) but, because people are people, there aren’t always as many as there should be.

(side note: combining “I” with the following word, like it is above, it is something you see a lot around turn of the century.)

3. CONTEXT. Context is your best friend in reading any handwriting.

For example this word on it’s own may stump you…

but in context it because pretty clear, even without the t’s crossed…

If you’re stumped by a word don’t just stop. Read to the end of the sentence or the paragraph. Lots of times the context will clear it up right away.

4. My best tip for if you get stuck with a word is to go through the document and compare the letters in the problem word to other letters in the document you can read or figure out by context. People tend to be pretty consistent in the way they form letters.

For example: Rachel’s “e”’s threw me off for the longest time until I took specific note of how she wrote them…

Honestly for a few cases of really horrible handwriting I’ve worked with I’ve actually gone through and made myself self a photoshop chart with samples of how the writer writes each letter so I could compare as I went without going back through the document.

5. For names you can’t make out - googling or checking other sources to compare is always helpful.

Just today Jennie was talking about a French violinist she saw whose name I couldn’t figure out at all besides the “M” at the beginning. So I went to Wikipedia and found a list of French classical violinists, went through all the names starting with “M” and figured it out pretty easily from there.

If you’re working with a lot of material written by the same person; keeping a list of all the family/friends/associates/places that they’ve mentioned is incredibly helpful for figuring out problem names later on.

6. If you’re stuck on something and it’s not of absolutely vital importance to you understanding the document - just skip it and move on. It’s not worth obsessing over one word.

I just searched my huge Rachel & Co. master document and found 686 results for “[?]” and 203 for “[illegible]”. I’m sure I’ll figure a lot of those out when I eventually go back and proofread, but transcriptions in the National Archives still contain a whole lot of words even the experts can’t figure out.

Also, lots of times if you’re getting frustrated - walking away, reading something else, and coming back later can work wonders.

7. But honestly, like acquiring any skill, the best thing is just lots and lots of practice.

I’ve had quite a few instances with frustrating handwriting where it’s almost like staring at a Magic Eye picture. You’re struggling along and suddenly something in your brain just clicks and you’re left wondering how you couldn’t see that before.

The more you read the easier it gets. Promise.

[biopsychs]

What I Learned From University (2nd Year)

See what I learned in first year here

Adjust how you study → I have a different study method for each class. Even if the content is similar to another class or you’ve had the prof before, you have to personalize your learning.

You can skip class sometimes → My introductory microbiology class was the worst class I’ve ever taken and I love microbiology. The prof sucked and I found I could just catch up on notes on the bus and have extra time to sleep in. I rarely skip class but I realized my time was much better spent working on other things. Only skip classes if catching up on notes is more efficient/a better use of your time than actually going to lectures. Also, don’t be afraid to take a day off (when you can) if your mental or physical health is suffering.

Group projects suck → I knew this already but nothing could have prepared me for what I had to deal with in my one semester long research methods class. I wish I had talked to my TA  or prof earlier to explain what was going on and how I could fix it. (Side note: Use Google docs for group projects!)

Mentoring programs are a great thing to be involved in → I got involved with a mentoring program for women in stem at my university and it has been such a valuable experience! I have access and connections to upper year students and women working in academia and industry who are there to provide help and guidance. My only regret is that I was too timid to ask for help at the start -- take advantage of the opportunities you have!

Get larger projects like reports and essays done as soon as you get them → My organic chemistry lab reports always took so long to write so I would delay working on them. However, I eventually got into a routine of finishing my lab report (or at least 95% of my report) on weekends (my labs were on Fridays) and it made my life so much easier! Just get it done and you won’t have the looming stress of a big project or report hanging over you.

Go to social events on and off campus → You can be social in so many different ways at university! Find something you’re comfortable with or go just outside your comfort zone. I went to a pizza party for psych majors and it was chill. I also went to a pubcrawl and it was so much fun. If you’re hesitant, drag a friend along the first time but make sure you talk to new people!

Apply for summer jobs early → Lots of good summer jobs for university students are posted early! I check my university’s job board and also look for jobs that are meant for students (where I live the government will provide funding for summer students to certain organizations). Make sure you send in your applications in as soon as possible too! Even if the deadline to apply is in two weeks, some places will get in touch with applicants (and could potentially hire someone) before that deadline. Find out if your uni has a career advising office (or something like that) and check it out, if you need help with resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc.

Leave your options open  → If you’re unsure about your major or career path, leave your options open as much as you can! Use the time you have now to explore what you really like. Last year I made the decision to do a double major in biology and psychology, because I wanted to go to med school but also wanted to leave the option of research (in bio or psych) open. Now, I’ve decided to major in psych and minor in bio, with the intent to pursue clinical psychology. I took classes and got research experience that helped me make an informed decision about what I really like and want to do.

Get involved in research and use your connections → Get research experience as early as possible. This will help you figure out if you actually want to pursue research or not, and will be so helpful with applications if you end in a position where you’re doing your own research! I have found it much easier to get involved with research by having connections (like talking to a prof, grad student, or upper year undergrad student who is already involved with a lab) rather than sending out cold emails to profs and hoping they’ll reply. If you are sending an email to a prof/lab you don’t have any connections to, make sure your personalize it -- mention any prior experience you have and why you’re interested in that lab specifically.

Check your email constantly → As a general rule, you can never check your email too much. Make an effort to reply to emails as soon as you get them, because otherwise you might forget about them. In general, reply to emails within 24 hours anyways.

Take a summer class → I took a summer class on the psychology of motivation and it was totally worth it. I knew I would have to take a summer class at one point and I knew I would prefer to do it earlier in my degree (taking a summer class in my last year does not sound like fun). It was refreshing to see how well I could do when one class was my only priority and I was able to learn/retain the content so much better. It was also nice that I was able to take an upper level course (my previous psych courses had been only 1st or 2nd year level) by itself so I could get used to the increased demands. One thing to note is that summer classes go by really quickly (in my case 3 lectures were equivalent to 3 weeks of classes) so make sure you’re keeping up with the material.

Find your optimal level of stress → One thing I learned in my motivation class is that we all have an optimal level of stress. Think of it as an inverted U shape, with performance on the y axis and stress on the x axis. The highest point, the top of the U, is your optimal level of stress, where stress is helping you perform to the best of your ability. If you move past that point (either less stress or more stress) your performance is going to decrease. If your stress levels are high and anxiety-causing your performance is going to suffer. I found my optimal level of stress when I was studying for my first motivation midterm -- I was cramming the night before but because I had no other pressing responsibilities (like 4 other classes) I was able to feel stressed without feeling panic or test anxiety also. Find your optimal level of stress and see how well you perform. Remember that feeling when your stress levels are rising so you have a baseline to get back to.

Don’t get stuck as “premed” → Being premed is completely okay but don’t close yourself off from other options. I know so many people who are premeds and are also biochemistry majors. Some of these people don’t even like biochemistry but stick with it because they think it will make their application look better. Please study something you’re actually interested in. Med school is a great option but just make sure you have a plan B (and a degree that is going to suit this plan B). I know someone who graduated with their biochemistry degree and regretted it -- by the end of their degree, their plan was no longer med school and they wished they had done a general biology degree, w classes they liked, while taking a few biochem classes they liked. I used to consider myself premed but I realized clinical psychology is a much better fit for what I actually like/am good at. Just make sure you want to be a doctor for the right reasons is all I’m saying.

Morning classes are actually kind of okay → Everyone talks about how bad morning classes are, but I actually prefer them. I have a hard time paying attention in later classes and it’s really nice to have all my classes done by mid-day. Just make sure you keep a regular sleep schedule (i.e. try to go to bed/ wake up at reasonably early times so your body can recover better on the nights where you get less sleep) 

Always come prepared → This applies for so many things. Bring a snack, don’t forget your charger, do your readings. You’re never going to regret being prepared but you may regret not being prepared.

Be ready to register for classes → Know your time and date to register for classes and be ready to click register right at that time! I always make multiple schedules b/c often the lab times or classes I want to take are full. If a class is full, make sure you know what to do. Register on the waitlist. If there isn’t a waitlist, find out who you need to talk to (usually the prof or department head). Check back a few times a week to see if spots open up in classes, because a lot of people change their schedule. Don’t wait to talk to an academic advisor if you’re not sure which classes to take or have any concerns.

Quizlet is a blessing  → Quizlet is an app/website that lets you make flashcards and view other people’s flashcard sets. Study flashcards while you’re waiting in line for coffee or on the bus. You may also be able to find flashcards from people who took the same class as you -- use those! If you make your own flashcards be a nice person and share them with your friends :)

A bad grade is not the end of the world → In one class I got 35% on my first midterm and never managed to get a midterm grade higher than 68%. I was absolutely destroyed when I saw that mark on my first midterm and was ready to give up. Please don’t give up! I talked to my prof and was able to have my other midterms weighted more and I used my lab reports to bring my mark up. If you show your profs you’re working hard they’ll do what they can to help you out. It’s really easy to feel like your hard work is not making a difference, especially if you’re continually not getting the results you want -- this doesn’t mean you should stop working hard, it just means you may have to study differently, review material daily, and ask for help! If you fail you need to remember that you will have to work harder -- you have to keep up with the new material and relearn the old material. I wasn’t overly happy when I saw my final grade in the aforementioned class but, when I compared it to my first midterm and my feelings of utter confusion, I was satisfied with my grade because it showed my progress and improvement (and I also used it to motivate me to never let it happen again).

Realize that everyone is at university for different reasons → Some people have big goals, some people are still figuring it out, and some people just want to get their degree as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with being any of the above, just don’t expect everyone to have the same goals as you.

Know the deadlines for dropping courses → Even if you don’t think you’ll be dropping or changing any courses, write the dates down in your planner. My friend waited a few days too long to drop a math class that turned out to be extremely difficult and, even though she passed it in the end, she was stressed out all semester and her performance in other classes suffered as a result.

You’ll always be meeting new people and making friends → I lived off campus first year and felt like I had missed my chance to make friends. I shouldn’t have worried so much. Second year was much better in that there were a lot more familiar faces in my classes and I got to know other people much better through smaller classes and labs! Other people are always happy to make friends so just take the first step by starting a conversation :)

You can’t give 100% all the time → Some of the best advice that I was given this year was that you can’t give 100% all the time. You only have so much time and energy (mental and physical) you can give. For some tasks, the outcome from 70% effort and 100% effort may not be too different. Figure out what tasks those are so that you have enough energy to give 100% when you really need it.