#that was when my brain chemistry altered itself

[the-eyes-of-andyserkis]

[ Part One ] - [ Part Two ] - [ Part Three ] - [ Part Four ] [ Part Five ] - [ Part Six ] - [ Part Seven ] - [ Part Eight ]

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 5)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Quick Notes:

This is when both reader/you and Alastor are both alive. (... we'll probably end up in hell later on btw so stay tuned...)

Reader is an artist/painter.

Part 5:

It was almost pure bliss.

Except many months later, you found out a secret of his one day.

He was an exceptional chef, you were always in awe of how he cooked such magnificent dishes every day.

But one day, you peeked out into the forest through the window in the living room and saw Alastor standing alone, covered in blood. Your first instinct was to run outside, so you did just that.

You rush to his side and ask if he's okay, and what had happened to make him covered in such copious amounts of blood.

He blinks a few times before oddly turning his head to you, breaking out of his stupor, "Oh my dearest (y/n), do not fret so. For I am only acquiring our dinner for tonight!"

You look down at what he is holding in his hands. Your hand shot up to cover your mouth. A leg. A human leg. Your eyes then trail to the ground where you see a bloody human body, mangled beyond recognition. "This is.. dinner?"

A large grin appears on Alastor's face, "Quite right! This one should be enough to last us through the week!"

He looks at your face with an almost vicious look to his eyes, awaiting your response anxiously, not that he would let that show, anyways.

All you can manage is "Oh. Okay." Before you walk back inside the house without another word.

It's no exaggeration to say that your brain chemistry was permanently altered from that moment onward.

The situation felt so strange and bizarre, you didn't know what to think. Part of you knew that was he's been doing is extremely horrible and corrupt. It almost made you empty the contents of your stomach, it didn't feel real.

It didn't feel real, but suddenly some of Alastor's behaviors started to make sense. His picky taste for food...He never let you help with cooking, you had chalked it up to him being more of a perfectionist, but now... you know its more than that. He was hiding the fact that he was butchering and preparing human flesh, right in your very home, all this time.

But.. for some reason... all you could think about was how dedicated he was to providing a comfortable life for you, because he truly loved you. Everything he did every day showed you that you mattered and that you deserved only the best.

"But I still love him with all my heart... maybe I'm just as messed up..." Was a sentence your mind kept repeating to itself for quite some time.

Your appetite shrinks after the initial shock for a few days, but you were never one to skip meals or have your appetite be gone completely, even if you were sick. In this instance, you weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse in this case.

The meals he made for you had never made you sick in the past, so your body was already used to eating his cooking, and he made such amazing food, carefully crafted with such love and attention to detail, you couldn't help but keep eating his delicious cooking, no matter how bizarre and immoral it was.

"I think I really am just as messed up..." The thought crossed your mind again, but thoughts were interrupted by a rare occurrence, a kiss on the cheek from Alastor as he set your plate down in front of you.

The fact that you never stopped eating his cooking and always thanked him for his food and hard work, even after knowing where the main ingredient comes from, solidified the fact that you were the one. You loved him even after seeing him all bloody, holding a dismembered corpse, and telling you it was dinner. It was this pivotal moment that he knew, that you were the one to be his beloved forever.

In the coming weeks, things went back to "normal". You were settling into the new normal, as Alastor didn't hide the meal prep like he used to, and seeing him bloody and bringing in mysterious cuts of meat into the house became a normal sight to you.

One night when you were going to see Mimzy, Alastor informed you that he was unable to escort you that night. You were a little disappointed, but he assured you it was okay for you to go, it was just that he had plans that he wouldn't divulge any information on, no matter how much you pressed him.

Little did you know, but that night, Alastor was out on the town shopping for the perfect ring to propose to you with.

-> Part 6

[yourftmfriend]

Some smut-fluff with bottom Ken x Male reader? Ever since I read that one post with Ken giving a bj my brain chemistry has been completely altered

Oh my god. Same tbh (Just imagine he has all his genitals in this lol)

You knew. You knew him. You knew how obsessed he was with you. Your every praise directed to him was divine. Every touch from you felt as soft as thousands of pillows. When he looked at you, you could almost see the hearts in his eyes.

You could feel the heat radiating from him as you stroked his hair lovingly. He had his head against your thigh as his half lidded eyes eyes took loving looks at you. Ken leaned into your touch whenever your hand was touching him. Now was no different as he nuzzled into your hand, his eyes closing and a smile on his face. “Love you” he mumbled, almost inaudible.

You felt something on your shoe. Your focus shifted from the weigh to your boyfriend as he let out a heavenly whine. You let out a little ‘oh’ as you noticed him grinding slowly against the rough leather. His gaze shifted from your face in embarassment. You gently held his chin and made him look at you. Your thumb stroked his cheek slowly as a grin planted itself on your face. “You need any help darling?” The petname made his heart flutter. He let out a whimper as he buried his face in your thigh and kept grinding himself on your shoe. You chuckles as you kept stroking his hair.

“What would the others think of you if they saw you like this puppy?..” he let out a louder moan, muffled by your thigh. “What’d they do if they knew the manly Ken they knew was humping a human’s shoe like a mutt?” His breathing got faster and faster with his humping.

“You close baby? You gonna cum all over my new shoes?” he let out quiet whines of ‘please’s against your pants that were already drenched with drool.

When he came you helped him ride out his high by praising him more and moving your shoe against him. You noticed he was done when he stopped moving and gave him a few minutes to breathe. You kept running your hands through his soft hair as he took in heavy breaths, a dazed look on his face. You patted your thigh, signaling him to come up.

You helped him sit on your thigh and planted a little kiss to his forehead. His face got red as he buried his head in your shoulder. “Thank you..”

[justheblueberry]

handbinding of A Study in Scarlette by kittebasu

There are people who want to live forever, and then there is Shinichi, who just wants to live a little longer than this.

this bind has been in my head since i first read the fic like, three years ago. i dreamed up so many ideas for it, for so long, and now it's finally done! the typeset was actually done in early 2022, back when i was still using google docs, but it went through a few iterations because i was just. so. fiddly. with every aspect of this book. it needed to be perfect (as close to perfect as i, an amateur bookbinder out of my depth, can get) and it had to be absolutely over the top, to reflect the insane amount of love and care that the author put into the fic itself.

the first time i read this fic, i barely knew what detective conan was, much less all of the intricate plot details; i was just along for the ride, but by the end i was completely invested. i went back and watched through the anime as well as a few movies (it took me six months) and then read the fic again. and then a few more times. kaishin and the world of dcmk has utterly gripped me. it's 100% this fic's fault and i love it so, so, much.

i went through a few iterations of visual designs and i'm really happy with the little details i managed to squeeze in.

the entire color scheme is based around red, because 1) it's a murder mystery, 2) for scarlette shinamoto (and the title of the fic as well as the original holmes novel it references), and 3) the irony of "lady red" actually being red. the secret fourth reason is that i think red/gold is a super sexy color combo.

i sewed the textblock with red thread to reference holmes' "scarlet thread of murder".

another detail i love is the five yen coin bookmark, it was one of my first ideas and it turned out even better than i thought.

i wanted the endpapers to evoke a sense of the white marbled floor of the ballroom, with the glow-in-the-dark kaitou kid caricature being the luminol on the floor, and the little pops of red looks like blood that's been mixed in. i lucked out in that the other side of the endpaper was like a lavender-purpley color, i like to think of it as a little wink wink nudge to the color of the actual Lady Red.

the chapter pages got a few reworkings, but i'm happy with the illustrations i ended up doing for each of them. the chapter titles are one of my favorite things about the fic, each one has so much meaning packed into it and flows so beautifully, and i wanted to put as much care into making them pop as possible.

the cover was a linocut carving i designed and carved, which i then printed onto the bookcloth, and ironed on htv on top.

i also threw in a couple of my drawings of my favorite scenes.

this is getting way too long, so i'll end it here. i'll have a separate post detailing the process every step of the way, if anyone wants to take a closer look. this fic is kind of directly responsible for getting me into fanbinding, so it's safe to say it altered the course of my life. i now spend way too much time (and money) looking at book stuff.

kittebasu, if, somehow, you see this and would like an author copy, i would be honored to make one and ship it to you; i would be overjoyed to gift you with any art i have the ability to make, because the fics you wrote have irreversibly altered my brain chemistry, and being able to give back in any capacity would be a dream. (thank you.)

a few postscripts:

i am not selling any copies of this fic. partially because i believe in the gift economy of fandom as well as firmly keeping fanbinding a hobby that will stay unmonetized, but also because it took me months (years, if we are counting when i first finished the typeset) to finish this and i do not have the strength.

however, if you are also a fan of this fic and would like a copy, i honestly, fervently, encourage you to give fanbinding a try! renegade publishing and its discord server are an absolutely wonderful and free resource. i knew nothing about bookbinding and had zero materials when i first started, but i've learned so much thanks to the lovely people there. if you're still apprehensive about getting started, i'd be willing to share my typeset of this fic as well as answer any questions about the making of this book if you DM me.

[heavysoldat]

hii! i absolutely love your writing, you're so talented! i found unattainable when i was oh so deep in my dbf!bucky bag and it altered my brain chemistry. i desperately need more dbf!bucky, idc about plot, just as long as it's pure filth and bucky is a little mean and cocky maybe?

thank you so much!! <3 i’m so glad you like my content!

all these new seb pics have me in a daze, so here’s this

warnings: pure filth without plot (dirty talk, vaginal sex, quickie, vague fingering, groping, choking, exhibitionism, praise, slut shaming, degradation, overstimulation), age gap

the first draft of this got deleted so this is a rewrite :/

The taste of wine is heavy on your tongue, accompanied by the taste of the steak your family prepared dinner- which Bucky had ever so gracefully invited himself to. Your father held no resistance, happy to have his longtime best friend stay for dinner.

It wasn't unusual for him to take claim his place next to you at the table, stuffing himself into the seat closest to you, eyes trained on you during the entire dinner. For his hand to slide towards your thigh, itching closer up your dress until he found your clothed cunt, palming it as your parents asked you about your current job search.

After the last of the steak was finished, your parents had wandered off to the local market in search for a forgotten dessert. You could practically feel the tension melt from your shoulders at the prospect of being alone, accompanied by a heat in your stomach- and a cold anxiety fluttering in your chest.

Your hands are wet with soap and water as you clean off your dishes, chewing on a sore on the inside of your mouth with puckered lips. You can hear Bucky's footsteps gravitate towards you, the sound of his heavy boots on your wooden floor all too familiar.

“Need any help?” His presence makes itself known beside you, with a large hand placed on the small of your back. You have to resist the urge to fall into it, your body tensing slightly under the contact.

“I’m okay,” You practically squeak, clearing your throat. He hums, but doesn’t move, keeping his soft grip on you.

You shuffle your body, swallowing harshly, continuing to wash the last of your dishes, trying your best to ignore the way his hot gaze practically bores a hole into you.

His hand falls down the small of your back, bunching up the fabric of your dress as it moves forward to your stomach. He moves more behind you, pressing you back against him with a light push, making you gasp.

"Bucky," You breathe.

He chuckles, hot against your ear, "C'mon... Don't get all shy on me now."

Both of his hands wrap around your waist, grasping onto your sides. You grab his wrists- not quite to stop him, but to just hold him in place.

"My parents could catch us." You whisper.

"Mmm," He hums, moving his hands lower, your hands following suit. "That's never stopped us before."

Bucky's fingers bring up the hem of your dress, pushing the fabric upwards just enough to reveal your panties. You feel his fingers press down, stroking your cunt above the fabric, a groan erupting from his throat.

"Fuck," He says, hips pressing harshly against your back, "I love feelin' how fuckin' wet you get- always a good little slut f' me,"

He lays kisses below your ear, down your cheeks and to your jaw, tongue jutting out to lay soft licks on your skin. You can feel your skin start to prickle with goosebumps, thighs squirming in his hold.

You turn towards the door, contemplating your situation. You know full well how long the drive to the market takes, but the threat of being caught with him has tensity building in your shoulders- and an uncomfortable heat pooling in your stomach.

Bucky's hand dips down underneath your panties, making contact with your bare cunt. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, feeling the way his fingers guide along your slick, wetness already beginning to drip down.

"We have to be quick," You say, and can practically feel the grin that spreads along his features.

"There's my girl."

The fingers hooked in your panties pull them down, leaving them dangling around your mid thigh. The sound of his belt unbuckling behind you makes you squirm- having Pavlov's dog-ged yourself into an automatic response.

You whimper as he presses the tip of his cock to your folds, sliding around your slick with heavy grunts. He chuckles at the sound, fingers curling around your throat, bringing your head back to lay against his chest- chin pointed up at the sky.

"Think you can take me jus' like this?" Bucky says, voice in a whisper, "Pussy's always so fuckin' wet f' me to take whenever I want."

He grunts as his tip breaches your entrance, his grip on your throat growing tighter. You always forget just how thick he is- how the stretch of him can leave you aching for days afterward.

"There we go," He moans once his cock bottoms out, your pussy trembling around his length, your eyes fluttering closed, "Good fuckin' girl. I knew you could do it."

The sound of skin slapping fills the air as he begins to lay light thrusts into your cunt, accompanied by his groans, mouth pressed up against your ear. Your free hand wraps around the wrist tied to your neck- as his gropes your ass, kneading it like dough. It travels to your back, pushing you forward, laying your body flat against the countertop.

His thrusts get faster, cock pounding against your cervix as he holds you still. You're moaning against the granite, gripping at the countertop. "Please, fuck, please-"

"How'd your daddy like to know what a dumb slut his lil' girl is f'me," Bucky groans, spreading your ass to watch the way his cock disappears into your cunt- laying a light spank to the skin, "Begging me to fuck her stupid."

Your hand goes to rub at your clit- but he slaps it away, replacing it with his own. Your leg lifts up, his cock hitting your cunt at a new angle, making your body practically keen in on itself.

"Feel good?" Bucky grunts, humming at the way you moan a mhm in response, "Feels fuckin' good f' me too, baby, gripping my cock so nice. I know I left you hanging before, baby- just knew you'd come nice and good around my dick."

His other hand moves forward, curling around to stuff his fingers into your open mouth. You whine around them, trying your hardest to suck- "I wan' come," You moan, "Please, I wanna- I wanna come so bad, please-"

"I know, honey, I know," He coos, "I know you've been so fuckin' close- just', fuck, come around my fuckin' cock baby, like a good little fuckin' slut."

Your orgasm hits through you, slicing through your stomach in a white heat. You whine and moan around his fingers, legs twitching as he fucks you through it, unrelentless in his ruthless pace.

"Please," You're begging again, overstimulation flooding your cunt, "I can't- I can't take anymore,"

"Yeah you can," Bucky insists, voice growing gravelly as his cock twitches, "You can give me one more."

"I can't." You cry.

"Yes you fuckin' can," He growls. "I know you can. Give me one more, baby, come on- like a good, stupid fuckin' slut, give me one more."

Bucky's pace on your clit goes unrelenting, fingers continuing their assault despite your pleas, spit drooling down your chin. The way his cock slams against you is almost growing painful, tearing through the inside of your cunt.

You feel your second orgasm wash over your body like a cold wave. It's not as violent, it creeps up on you- but it hits just the same, making your body twitch against him as you cry around his fingers.

With a last few slams, his cock twitches as he comes, filling your pulsing cunt up with his spend. Bucky moans, leaning his body over to hover over your back.

You catch your breath, lip still quivering. You whine when he pulls out- cum dripping from out of your cunt and down your thigh, pussy twitching at the loss of being filled.

Bucky pulls up your panties, finger collecting the dripped cum, gathering it to bring towards your mouth. You take it in, sucking the cum off his fingers with a moan.

"Good girl," He praises, a smile settling on his features. "I want you to keep the rest inside you. Wanna get some more dessert later."

[queer-media-tourney]

I also voted for ST simply because by the time S5 drops it’ll basically have been a decade of storytelling (whereas Moonlight is just one film). An A24 indie film doesn’t have the same impact as a show everyone has seen. I mean, a lot of people won’t watch ML just because they know what they’re getting into when they watch it. Your homophobic uncle has seen ST.

We’ve seen these kids grow up, and we’ve watched Will Byers and Mike Wheeler fall in love over five seasons. Plus, Robin is an amazing lesbian character who will also get a happy ending with her girlfriend Vickie in S5, and the show ITSELF is a metaphor for queerness… which has to earn it some points. That’s the entire point of the Upside Down!

To tackle IH storylines at such a mainstream, subtle level is genuinely subversive. A lot of people have discovered their sexuality through these characters. They started watching the show expecting one thing (simple nostalgia) and not knowing their own queer identity, and they came out on the other side changed people who can see their story through Byler. I’d say crazy together altered people’s brain chemistries. And when Will finally gets his happy ending, it will break the Internet. No exaggeration there.

So yeah, I can see it’s not the popular opinion here, but that’s my propaganda for ST.

And all 6.2% of us agree, lol.

Once again, stranger things fans are just silly nerds

[sagesparrow394]

So I read one Starcicle (q!Slime x q!Etoiles) fic on ao3 and it completely altered my brain chemistry

And now I’m just thinking about the angst potential!!!

Slime deciding that he trusts Etoiles enough to tell him his biggest secret. After all, now he has a new partner, he could finally have a family again… Him, Etoiles, Pomme, and Flippa. Sure, Flippa may be upset Mariana was being ‘replaced’… but he was sure she’d understand. Maybe she’d be excited to have two parents again and a sister?

Slime asks Etoiles to come to eggxile, and takes him on the train underground. Etoiles thinks the gorgeous cavern itself was the secret Slime wanted to share.

Until Flippa steps out of the cabin.

Slime doesn’t even get a chance to say anything. Etoiles knows codes, he knows in an instant what Flippa is. He grabs Slime’s arm, pulling him back behind him. As he yells for Slime to get his armour on, he rushes forward, drawing his sword.

Slime screams, begging for Etoiles to stop - only for the cries to fall on deaf ears, as Etoiles swipes his sword at Flippa.

Even when Flippa transforms into the code, Slime doesn’t stop screaming. When the code eventually dies, standing no match against the code breaker, Etoiles turns to Slime.

Only to see him holding a sword to Etoiles’ chest.

“You killed my fucking daughter.”

Slime isn’t as good a fighter as Etoiles. But Etoiles can’t fight back against the man he loves, and the insurmountable grief seems to gift Slime skill and power Etoiles had never seen before.

Etoiles has no choice but to run, warping back home as fast as possible.

He doesn’t get much of a chance to process, people tping as fast as possible to him to find out what happened.

While Slime slumps beside the messed bundle of green numbers, holding on to them as long as he can as they gradually blink and fade away.

[imminent-danger-came]

Hi there! So, I don't know if you’re in the mood to have your brain chemistry altered by the silly little lego show once more, or if you’ve just already done this, but I have a suggestion. Try watching the S4 special (specifically A Lifetime of Mistakes) for the millionth time, and then take that knowledge, along with the Wukong-Macaque/MK-Mei Hero and Warrior parallels we’ve been getting, and THEN go rewatch S1E6 AKA The Great Wall Race. Specifically through that particular lens.  

And just… enjoy watching the decisions they, especially MK, make during a situation where an immortality-granting object is on the line. Have no major thoughts about how this is the first real fight we see Mei and MK have. Experience absolutely zero strong emotions as you watch MK’s pursuit of that object lead to him destroying things that both of them love. Just… have a lovely, peaceful rewatch. 

But seriously, if you’re in the mood to let the silly little monkey show do its silly little monkey show thing, try rewatching that episode because it legitimately ruined my night. 

Like… it’s not a perfect, one-to-one comparison. There’s a lot of differences, both nuanced and obvious, that differentiate the two situations. 

But there’s something there and it’s been driving me insane, so feel free to come join me on the precipice of madness if you want.

*GRABS YOU*

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS. ANON, YOU GET ME IN A WAY THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES, WE ARE TOGETHER IN ARMS.

But anyways *puts on sunglasses* I always have zero emotions when it comes to the lego show. Me? Completely calm and collected. I totally didn't have a breakdown while rewatching 1x06 to write this post.

But, just to meander on by the precipice of madness...

Mei: "*gasp* My bike! What is wrong with you! I thought you were my friend!" MK: "Okay! I did bad! I just- I really wanted that peach and I guess I got carried away! You know how much I love stone fruit. *sigh* I was never gonna win though—you're the racer, not me. I'm sorry." Mei: "Yeah I know—just, don't be dumb next time, okay?" MK: "All I can do is try!"

(1x06 The Great Wall Race)

-

Even without the added context of s4, it's easy to put together that the whole reason MK wants the peach to begin with is to become more like Monkey King. Case in point, 1x09:

MK: "I just wanted to be good enough..."

"...like you."

(1x09 Macaque)

-

MK in seasons 1-2 is pushed by his motivation to live up to Monkey King's legacy—to become stronger. He wants to have the power to protect and help his friends, but this often causes more trouble than it fixes (1x01, 1x02, 1x06, 1x09, 2x03, 2x06, 2x10).

And so, MK reaching for immortality and wanting to be "good enough", instead harming the relationships he's trying to help?

Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!"

-

MK: "Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be!" Macaque: "Wukong didn't think so. He always felt he had to be stronger—more immortal."

-

Sun Wukong: "I just wanted to protect the people I cared about—to be strong enough. I lost sight of why I was doing any of it."

-

It's like history is repeating itself.

Which, this all obviously has a strong connection to 1x06, but it also is a strong connection to 2x06:

MK: "It means I need to be stronger! Be so powerful, that it'd be certain defeat to fight me!" Sandy: "Maybe you need a break little man, just kick back for a bit." MK: "Uh, did Monkey King ever take breaks?"

(2x06 Game On)

-

Which,

Sun Wukong: "Daw, don't be like that! Eat some fruit, soak up the sun—that's why I've been training so hard! Macaque: "What, so you can be the strongest?" Sun Wukong: "No! Well...maybe a little bit—but that's not the point! It's so that we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just live a lazy life sittin' in the sun and eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

Did Monkey King ever take breaks?—well, he did. It's here we start to see both the similarities and the differences between SWK and MK. AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE. They both reach after power in paranoia. They both try to protect the people they care about (and sometimes they do that through lying/leaving). They both want things to stay the same. Yet, SWK is arrogant where MK is self conscious. SWK goes off alone where MK tries to do it together. SWK can't plan for shit where MK is the designated plan man.

Sun Wukong VS MK and Monkey King VS Monkey Kid. How are they similar and how are they different?

And then if you throw Wukong-Macaque/MK-Mei Hero and Warrior parallels into all of it?

Peng: "The six-eared Macaque fighting side by side with his own replacements! Is there anything Wukong could do that would break his hold over you?" (4x13 Rip and Tear)

Is there anything MK could do that would turn Mei against him? I feel that it's SO telling that Mei wasn't included in this conversation:

Yellow Tusk: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail. But- but he is my brother. I owe him my life." Sandy: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends. But at the cost of the world?" Pigsy: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHING worth that price!"

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

And here's why Mei is going to be the one to calm MK down like MK calmed her down during 3x10—

[myfanficfrenzy]

Arshi FF : A River Runs Through It

Author : Meera

Status : Completed and available on Meera’s blog

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff

“Keep Reading” to read my two cents on the fic. Contains a few spoilers

My two cents :

If you’re looking for a story that took the names of your favourite characters from IPK, moulded them into something golden and weaved a gorgeous tale surrounding them, look no further. This is a story that will break your heart and heal it just as amazingly.

A river runs through it, mirrors exactly what the name suggests; Journey of a river as it gushes towards its last destination- the ocean. Kaveri Khushi Gupta and Arnav Varun are here to make you realise just how much beauty resides in the ordinary.

This is what made me fall immensely with this FF. There are no exaggerated dramas and yet you will feel every emotion just as intensely. The magic of this tale is rooted in its simplicity. From a simple crush on a cute college senior to battling with much relatable insecurities, you will go on a compelling journey with Kaveri Khushi Gupta as she makes her way to her Ocean, her Arnav. From the campus and banks of Ganges in Varanasi to the scenic beauty of Rishikesh Riverside and to the corporate jungle of United States, you will follow Khushi and Arnav on a decade long journey and you will be left craving another decade with them.

Meera’s writing is surreal and she is hands down one of the best writers we have in the Arshi world. And would you believe me when I say Arnav and Khushi aren’t the only stars of the story? Meera’s love of 90s Bollywood music shines throughout the story and you will be hit with nostalgia and butterflies in equal measure, in every single chapter! The music itself is an important character in the tale, and shapes the story as both our protagonists hum their way through life. You’re gonna end this story with a riveting Bollywood playlist in your repertoire. Trust me!

If the above summary has still not convinced you to give this story a go here are the four words that should - Arnav with a guitar! Go read it now.

Ps and spoiler - Arnav singing ‘Janam Dekh lo’ and ‘Batein Ankahi’ has forever altered my brain chemistry. Now those two songs belong to him and this story. Coming from an SRK fan that’s saying something 😉

- I

[definitelynotshouting]

grian snacking on Card Game Rage might even be a good long term thing as part of getting him to eat better, like, instead of limiting himself to just positive emotions he might realize there's a wide array of ethically sourced negative emotions including but not limited to "frustration at a contraption not working", "ARGH MOB", Card Game Rage, etc and there's a wide array of events other than MCC he can poke his head into for a meal

Oh!! So actually, this is something i want to mention about Watcher feeding habits and how they work, because i dont think i really expanded on this in any of my other posts laying out the lore and mechanics and whatnot

So when a Watcher feeds, its actually less about the emotions and more about the hertz frequency those emotions are occurring at on the electromagnetic spectrum. Beta brain waves hit around 18-35 Hz, which is about the hertz frequency that Watchers can "feed" off of as well. In truth, its less "feeding" so much as it is resonance. Watchers have very brittle code that takes a lot of time and energy to shape, and a lot of maintenance to keep from falling apart. Where Player code is super flexible and tends to repair itself just fine, Watchers have to resonate with a certain hertz frequency to repair their code manually. This hertz frequency basically happens to coincide with beta brain waves in Players, which in turn is related to high intensity emotions and agitation in the brain.

Watchers can "bump" this frequency slightly by a few hertz, and then keep their prey at that level of agitation for extended periods of time while they repair their code. Anxiety becomes a panic attack that goes on for hours. Irritation becomes rage that wont stop. Excitement becomes a manic high. The problem with feeding on one person, or even just a few people at once, is that it will quite literally fry their brain-- this is why Watchers tend to bring together larger groups of people, agitate their brains a bit (the effect is lessened over a large group of people), and feast on the resulting frequencies all around them.

So in truth, Grian feeding on Doc's rage would actually enhance and lengthen it, which is both dangerous for him, and everyone else around him. This is why Grian was so hardcore about only feeding on "positive" emotions-- putting together some silly events or fun games and then stirring their brains up is a little less dangerous¹ for everyone (but especially them) than making them all very scared, very sad, or very angry. That, and he loves them-- he doesnt want them to hurt. The fact that he fed on their suffering in the Life games quite literally haunts him.

¹ obviously, mania is its own problem, can be just as scary and dangerous, and has its own potential for terrible accidents-- but this is being written from Grian's pov, who views it as the lesser of two evils. The point of this au ofc is that its a terrible, horribly messy situation where there are no clear cut answers, solutions, or faults; Grian has a right to his own survival, and the hermits have a right to not get their brain chemistry altered without their knowledge or consent. So while it might seem like the things you mentioned are ethical choices, the truth is that if Grian were to feed on them, he would be extending and enhancing those emotions to an extreme degree-- hence why he tried so hard to only feed off of positive ones, and why MCC was a good feeding option in his mind bc emotions are already very high during those games, and few people are gonna notice their adrenaline pumping while they're playing or cheering their fave on.

(Altho, something i havent mentioned yet is that i HAVE come up with an eventual solution for him. And ironically enough, Doc is the one who makes it. I dont want to spoil it too much yet tho, so just know i do have something in mind that will help him get back home<3)

[lilredghost]

I'll have you know that Bring me in from the pasture has absolutely absolutely altered my brain chemistry

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ Definitely a delight to hear that from you, I love your work!! I wrote a little more so that I would have something to show. Hopefully I can keep chipping away at the next chapter 🥰

Warnings: The premise of this fic is that Obi-Wan got kidnapped, modified, and brainwashed into a cow hybrid, so... I feel like that speaks for itself. (But the romance is sweet if that counts for anything)

Obi-Wan registers several things at once.

The first is that he’s in a real bed, being held by Anakin.

The second is the ache between his legs. His hole twitches and throbs, begging for touch. Obi-Wan hasn’t gone this long without being fucked since he first started as a cow.

The third thing is what makes this scenario truly untenable. Unbearable.

He can feel the hot, hard line of Anakin’s cock against his ass.

He whines low in his throat, wanting nothing more than to rut back against him. To tease and coax and seduce this man into fucking Obi-Wan like he deserves.

But this is Obi-Wan’s Padawan; there’s no way he can ask for that. Not when Anakin is already seeing to all his other needs, when he’s treating Obi-Wan better and sweeter than the farmers ever did.

Obi-Wan likes holding his hand. He likes sleeping in Anakin’s bed. He likes being fed by him, held by him, milked by him.

He can’t ask Anakin to fuck him too.

Not if Obi-Wan can take care of it himself.

[bell-of-indecision]

✨I ranked all the indian stuff I watched in 2023✨

For context, this July I finally gave in to my decade-old urge and dove head first into indian culture. It's been nothing short of phenomenal. The more people I meet, the more foods I try, the more music I listen to, the more Hindi I learn, the more I fall in love with India.

Although I became more of a TV serial person, eventually, I gave in to the movies as well.

So here's everything I watched, ranked from worst to best.

(I'm sorry in advance)

10. Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

This movie is useless, I'm so sorry. Somehow, it fooled me into thinking Naina was the main character, then the whole thing became about Bunny and I was so confused, who was I supposed to care about anyway? Can't complain though, Naina is a boring and uncharismatic cliché, I couldn't care less about her, had she disappeared midway into the story, I would've been thankful. Avi, Bunny, and Aditi, on the other hand, are loveable characters that deserved to be in a better movie — especially Aditi, I liked her so much. Too bad the movie seems to be about absolutely nothing. There was a message, I think, but it felt so shallow it didn't even matter to me, there was no actual relevance, no lesson, no impact, nothing. Maybe I'm stupid, but this movie is a drag. And the soundtrack SUCKS, Ilahi is the only good song in it.

2.8/10

9. Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2

The very first Bollywood movie I've ever watched. I wanted to like it so bad, it makes me sad that I didn't. Is it a comedy? A horror story? A dramatic murder mystery? Somehow, it's all of these and none at the same time, it can't decide on a tone to save its life, not even the humor can decide on what exactly it wants to be (most of it is just bad). The main couple has negative chemistry, their romance is so bland it's almost funny. Ruhan carries the whole movie on his back and is the only character with enough charisma to make me care, I honestly love this guy. His scene where he pretends to be possessed is incredible, and Tabu as Anjulika was great too. The plot twist was really nice, possibly the only good thing about the whole story, but then the movie ends so abruptly and on such a heavy note that it almost made me sick when the upbeat theme song started playing immediately after. This movie could not read the room, everything about it throws me off.

4/10

8. Jab We Met

Aditya is a dream, Geet is kind of a nightmare. I have nothing against characters that are lively, optimistic, and cheery, but they have to be bearable, she was just way too much for me. I loved Aditya's character development, it was fun and endearing to watch. The movie itself is not bad, just overrated. Nagada Nagada slaps though.

6/10

7. War

I wanted to love this movie just as much as it wanted to have a good twist. We both failed. Underestimating the audience's intelligence is one thing, but toying with us and making us feel like fools for the sake of a “big reveal” is something else. And no, it wasn't worth it. It wanted to be surprising, but it was just frustrating, shocking for all the wrong reasons. The action was fire though, no complaints there, and I loved the relationship dynamic between Kabir and Khalid, I would watch 11 seasons of those two going on missions with their team and fighting together, their chemistry is so good, I enjoyed every second of their scenes.

6.4/10

6. Arjun: The Warrior Prince

As a Mahabharat fan, I had hopes, but that's on me. Loved the way the story was presented to the audience, simple but brilliant. Shaheer Sheikh's Brihannala altered my brain chemistry, and I was elated to see her again. The animation was gorgeous, that goes without saying. I just hated how it ended right before the war, right where Arjun has some of his best moments, and hated even more how they practically erased Krishna from the story. At least they made him dark skinned this time.

6.7/10

5. My Name is Khan

Had this been based on a true story, I would've been the biggest fan of this movie to ever exist, I am a sucker for movies based on real life stories. Still, despite the disappointment of finding out this whole thing — as good as it was — was fictional, I see it as a touching, lovely, honest, and relevant story that kept me interested and broadened my horizons. Say whatever you want about allistic actors playing autistic characters, Shah Rukh Khan sold the heck out of this character and I bought it like the big neurodivergent fool that I am. I see a neurodivergent character onscreen, I am immediately on-board and loving them despite all their scripted flaws because “they're just like me fr”. "Marry me", indeed.

7/10

4. Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani

Is it innovative and groundbreaking? No, but it is so much fun. It's deep and honest enough, charismatic and funny enough, it's just good entertainment with a good message. I expected nothing to be honest, either way, the story just kept getting better? The dynamics kept getting deeper and more complex? Wait a minute, this was actually good! I went in for the soundtrack — I'm obssessed with Dhindhora Baje Re — but I stayed for everything else. I laughed out loud many times, I shed some tears, I rooted, man, this movie made me feel actual things! What a lovely surprise.

7.9/10

3. The Railway Men

I went into it with such high hopes. Some of them were met, but part of me was left unsatisfied. As I said before, real stories are my favorite, but the way this show was presented feels too much like fiction. Good fiction, but still. And I know it’s not fiction. I am aware that many creative liberties were taken, and I'm not against them, at all, but the thing is: I could see them, I knew they were there. When I watched HBO’s Chernobyl, I was fully convinced that everything that was presented in the show was reality, exactly how it had happened, and I doubted nothing. I was shocked when they revealed that Ulana Khomyuk was a character created to represent many scientists that were involved in the incident. I had eaten her up, and I still can't believe she wasn't a real person. The Railway Men feels like the opposite of this, most of it feels like a creative liberty, very little reads as a real event, a real interaction, or a real person. I doubted a lot of what I saw, and had to do some research to fully understand what exactly had been real. But like I said, it was still good. I found myself caring deeply for each and every character, no matter how minor, I deeply empathized with their pain, rooted for them, cried with them, cried for them. It's heartbreaking, gut wrenching, revolting, yet it still manages to be inspiring. Why I never learned about Bhopal before watching this show is beyond me, but at any rate, I will be recommending this show to everyone I know.

8.1/10

2. Brahmāstra: Part One – Shiva 

I will defend this movie's honor, I don't even care. I loved it so much that I made my mom watch it with me the next day, and she loved it. The dialogue is cringy, yes, unbearably so, some lines make my skin crawl. But COME ON, the plot is great, the concept is creative, the visual effects are wonderful, the soundtrack is divine —Mohan is dreamy— hear me out, I was hooked, on board, immersed, you name it. This movie made me feel so excited, I felt like a 7-year-old watching a super hero movie and wanting to have cool powers just like those, I honestly can't remember the last time a movie made me feel this energetic. Do I understand why Shiva and Isha were so deeply in love despite having met each other a week ago? No, but I was still rooting for them. Do I understand why sometimes people yell out the Astra’s powers in order to activate them like the Power Rangers? No, neither do I vibe with it, but do you think it mattered? The next moments were so freaking cool that I completely forgot what I wanted to complain about. (Oh, and Saurav Gurjar was in it! I gasped so loud when I saw him on screen, and playing a villain no less!) I was genuinely sad when it ended, I would've watched three more hours of that, despite the terribly written lines. I will fight for this movie and forgive every bad line of dialogue if it kills me.

8.7/10

1. Mahabharat (2013)

In case you haven't noticed, I am absolutely obssessed with Mahabharat. Initially, I’d decided to face the 267 episodes of this show because watching stuff in your target language is a good way to learn (also, that Krishna guy was very easy on the eyes, looking at him a bit more surely wouldn't hurt). It took me a few episodes to really get into the story, but once I did, oh boy, I was so hooked on the plot I even forgot about the language (although I did learn some words from it). The thing about this show, other than the freaking superb plot and phenomenal cast, are the characters. They all made me feel something. And that's the thing with characters, I believe, they don't necessarily have to be good or bad, morally speaking, they have to be well-written and entertaining, they have to make you feel things, positive or negative. Shakuni, a villain, was freaking great because of how good he was at being bad. And the good guys, like the Pandavas, weren't just good, that'd be boring, they were also charismatic, unique, funny, inspiring, and sometimes morally grey, which made them even more interesting, even more human. Watching them get in conflict with their morals when things got dark was insane. Even when they messed up —I'm looking at you Dharmraj— I still wanted to see them win. They felt like family, I watched them grow, I felt so close to them that their struggles and victories felt like my own. “My boys”, I call them. Mahabharat is my Roman Empire, man, I could talk about this show for HOURS. Anyway, this became my favorite show of all time and I'm so glad I didn't let the number of episodes scare me away. (And yes, I am still very much in love with Saurabh Raaj’s Krishna, he is probably one of my favorite characters ever, my heart raced when I first saw him and it still does to this day, BYE)

9/10

Oh, this ended up being a Top 10. Nice.

I both thank you and applaud you for reaching the end of this ramble that is ultimately just a result of my obsession with making lists and ranking literally everything. And also my admiration for indian culture.

I would've included Porus and Chandragupta Maurya but I'm not yet finished watching them, but I thought I should say: I am liking them a lot.

What do you people think I should watch next year? Recommendations are welcome!

✨🇮🇳 ✨

[hunnylagoon]

The girl that time forgot actually altered my brain chemistry. This is probably going to go down in fanfic history-speaking of history I love how you included historical events like the vestal virgins, witch trials and Boston massacre. I love the Boston massacre bit because someone in the real massacre yelled “fire” but no one ever found out who it was and it was so clever to make it Ellie. I’m amazed with your writing always but you really knocked it out of the park this time. The plot is incredible and the writing itself is so beautiful, it’s poetic but not to the point where you can’t understand what’s going on, it’s so well structured. The plot? 10/10 structure? 10/10 writing? 10/10 dialogue? 10/10 pacing? 10/10. I’m being so serious when I tell you that you need to sell this to HBO or Netflix or something, can’t believe I’m saying this but your talent is being wasted on fan fiction and if you pursue this as a career I genuinely see major success.

I love you guys so much I can’t even describe it 😭😭😭

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Week 2024

Day 6 - Favorite Quote: "Let's enjoy life"

Is it cheating to use a quote from the author rather than from the series itself? It better not be, cus for all of the quotes from this series that rattle around in my brain, either because they're extremely poignant ("What kind of man wants to see the woman he loves suffer?") or stupidly funny ("You not telling me was a test, wasn't it?" "Yes." "You're lying, aren't you?" "Yes."), this summation of the series posited by Tozuka's editor is the one that actually changed me

That may seem hyperbolic for a three-word quote, but ever since I saw that quote, it really has altered something in my brain chemistry. Like a Negator reinterpreting the meaning of their Rules, my whole worldview changed, at least subtly, when I heard that quote

Naturally it changed my approach to reading UU, as every scene, every moment, every quote, every panel suddenly became about reinforcing the idea that life is something to be enjoyed with other people. It's incredibly clear that this philosophy is the driving force for every single decision in the narrative, with every action that the main cast takes (and possibly even the villainous cast with recent revelations) being directly influenced by the goal of happiness, the search for the Greatest Life

Beyond that, though, I've found that it's influenced my daily life as well. In much the same way that Dungeon Meshi fans have an inner Senshi that reminds them to feed themselves, I now have an inner Tozuka that reminds me to find the joy in whatever I'm doing. Whether it's to remember the purpose of why I'm doing something in the first place or to convince me that the effort isn't worth it and I should stop, the maxim to enjoy myself gives me the clarity and perspective to focus on what matters

It's not always easy. Sometimes life just hits you a little too hard and you can't remember the words of wisdom that would help you through the rough patch. But remembering that the whole point of life is to enjoy it, to be around people you can enjoy it with, eases the burden a bit. It redirects your energy towards trying to be happy rather than trying not to be sad

Fiction is a source of comfort for people. Whether it's seeing people going through the same problems they are and overcoming them, seeing people who look like them thriving when they themselves otherwise can't, or even just hearing a quote that resonates with them, the escape into fantasy should, ideally, give you something to latch onto and bring back with you into the real world. It can be something simple, like a superhero story equipping you with the courage to stand up for yourself, or a romance showing you how to be open with your emotions, but the best stories always leave you better than they found you

I've always believed that the purpose of life is to enjoy it, but I don't think I ever quite put it in those terms or thought about it that concretely. It was more just a general feeling, an implicit understanding that a life without happiness can hardly be called living, but once I read Undead Unluck, it became much more than that. It became an active choice. I've decided to live my life in a way I can enjoy, even if all that means is appreciating the moments where I'm just relaxing instead of "living life to the fullest." I don't have to see everything the world has to offer, I don't have to push myself to achieve every dream I've ever had, but I can't beat myself up for not doing those things either. You can't enjoy life if you're too worried about not enjoying life enough, now can you?

To truly get the most out of life, we have to be willing to live it, and on some level that means accepting who we are as individuals and meeting ourselves in the middle. It's fine to push yourself, but if you push yourself to the point of misery, then there's no point to it. Some of you even suggested that very thing to me when I felt like my UU anime reviews were getting too repetitive to be fun. You all, as my community, actively tried to help me break my own pattern of unenjoyment. I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for helping me to remember to enjoy myself. I hope that this post will help do the same for you

I'll see you all again tomorrow for the final day of UU Week 2024. After that, and until next year's celebration:

Let's enjoy life

[dutifullylazybread]

My friend. I just read all of deeply + immovably so over the past hour (probably more tbh) and you have solidly altered my brain chemistry - especially with the most recent chapter. I hope you’re planning to/writing a novel because your style is phenomenal. 🥺❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for reading!! 🥹 I am honored to have played a role in any brain chemistry alterations (assuming these are good ones!)

I've actually been working on a novel for a few years now. The first year or so was honestly figuring out what the plot was and who the characters were without any real solid plan, so when I finally got to the inciting incident, I think I was probably 200,000 words in? Granted, the plot is there now. It's just a messier draft because I was flying by the seat of my pants for so long.

I started digging into the second draft in earnest at the beginning of November, got frustrated while consulting the first draft (it wasn't perfect and it kept repeating itself over and over), so I started writing Deeply and Immovably So on November 3rd. 🤣

I absolutely intend to work on it more, but right now, I'm basically taking this approach:

[agonzovi]

[3] Dawn in the rest

Previous:

our girl flusters so hard she becomes nonverbal. and also, White:)

(---)

Whitney settles in her velvet stool for her daily ritual.

(Daily? It was 3:20 AM. The sun doesn't rise until it's 7:23.)

The vanity mirror she was facing revealed a bare face free of dark cosmetics. Tracing over the lipstick's intricate design with her thumb, as she always did— she feels the embezzled jewels—shining enticingly in her peripheral vision, but even so, her eyes remain glued to its reflection.

She twists the cap with care, and pops it open to reveal glossy obsidian. Putting it to her lips, she slides the wax tip on her upper lip first starting from the left side. And then repeats the motion making certain to emphasize her cupid's bow. Her lower lip only gets one solid swipe until rose pink becomes charcoal black.

She ends this mechanical process with its signature pop, satisfied with her work, Before she moves on to the next step.

Perfect, Methodical, and Flawless.

This was her routine, done everyday as her first milestone from waking.

She opens her vanity desk in habit, Being able to immediately pull out an eyeshadow pan whilst looking straight into her own irises.

There's no hesitation as her hands manuever it open and reach for the brush on her stand, dusting it against the first pan on its left side— coating the fur in the same powder ink the rest of the pallette is uniform in.

Focusing mordantly on her eye make-up, she starts with her left eye, relying on several past routines of muscle memory and earned skill.

She finishes this sacred routine with precise swipes of translucent powder, each stroke controlled and memorized, sinking into the familiarity as the powder brush glides across her fa—

knock knock

The brush darts down her cheek with such force it runs off her face fully. Wrist tensed in place beside her, her head does not move, but her stare breaks and is placated to the door.

“Am I right on time?”

Teeth gritting, she glares into the carved oak like it's wronged her. She places the brush back into its place in vanity, her throat burning at the unsolicited interruption. Fucking bitch.

“You were 23 seconds too early.”

“Apologies, I'll add 23 seconds to the 30 minute wait.”

The bass voice behind the door speaks with a monotone nonchalance— and yet she can still hear the snark behind it.

“Nevertheless. Come inside.”

The brass knob clicks and twists, the door-hinges silently creaking in the person’s entrance.

She twists in her seat to face him, making sure he sees her face full of black intimidation.

Clad in a black suit with an Indigo Bowtie, Whitney guesses there is another meeting Vorsano has to attend, And her face scrunches with dissaproval already laced with irritation.

“Agnesius has invited us to an event, it would be unwise to go without you.”

“So you’d like me to accompany you?”

“Obviously.”

“Fine,” she rolls her eyes, hands clasped together in her lap as she narrowly stares at him. “When is the event?”

“Today. Before Noon.”

Her schedule feels completely violated now. How was she going to prepare herself for an event so sudden?

“Today!? Sano. You know I am strict to adhere to my schedule, I have 3 things planned today!”

“97 less than you usually have planned. Of course.”

“Un—fucking—believable.”

Whitney hears Vorsano scoff in amusement, “Look at you, even dropping the accent to get your point across.”

‘You'd be suprised the things you could get away with if you sounded nice.’

“You couldn't inform me of this event yesterday? God, there must be an invoice before you drastically alter my day like this!”

She's aware she sounds more infuriated than her usual theatrics, and hopes Vorsano doesn't pick up on it.

“It is not my fault you have to make your brain chemistry completely redo itself before an occasion. But this event is important, we've skipped too much and they are tailing us.”

“Sure. Vorsano.”

She cuts eye contact, and stares back at herself in the mirror.

“I am sorry for disrupting, I'm aware it means alot to you.” His voice is lowered this time, he's absolutely noticed that she's upset.

“You make it sound like a sentimental thing, I simply do not wish to be disturbed unless I'm finished.” Huff.

“..You gave me 30 minutes. I was very precise with those 30 minutes.”

“30 minutes and 25 seconds then.”, There's a sharp sass to her words. The apology did not fully redeem Vorsano yet, it seems.

“I recieved Agnesius’ invitation around midnight. I was also startled to see that a letter this important would be sent at such ungodly hours.”

She rips her eyes off herself, and looks at him with her head this time, lips in a short frown. “Fine. Damn Agnesius and his stupid invitation.”

Marital issues.

(---)

From what Yannick remembers in her drunken state, Bonnie said this town was called Serma. Pretty big place, famous for it's trade import system with fruits. People come here for smaller jobs, or use it as a place to stay for a bit while on a journey— Apparently, it's a landmark when you're on your way to large cities with way more opportunities (if you're rich enough.)

Ribs still sore and bruised, Yannick makes sure to be careful with her motions. And by careful— she had just crashed into the dirt after climbing up someone's roof and then getting chased off by some burglar rat critter she did not want to be dealing with. She doesn't know what they're called.

So now her elbows are skinned, along with her knuckles. That's fine.

It's still dim, shades of blue coat everything in a navy overlay and the only illumination she's getting is the ambient light from the town and the moon.

Without her bandana, cold air bites her neck like the sun hasn't tamed it. Yannick settles for a logical solution, opening her leather sling to illuminate it's contents with the moonlight to search for an item.

She found it. The rusty lamp she used the other night, she dives for the cigarettes right beside it and selects one from the paper roll she's wrapped them in. Nice.

The cigarette's end glows wistfully, and she places it in-between her lips. Currently, she's in an empty dirt lot that's situated at the back of some buildings, and it's fairly desolate here. (if you count the masked rodents burglarizing the trash.)

The pain in her abdominals are numbed by the chilliness around her. There's a gust of wind that entertains her cigarette-end as it blows by and her smoke trails the direction of the wind. She observes the stars and how they are eerily defined in the full moon.

She reaches for flask she's situated in her pockets— filled with the content’s of the alcohol she snagged from the bar. She takes one big gulp and brings the cigarette to her lips again.

“Yani.”

The speed she whipped her head at the direction of that voice could only be fueled by homosexuality and alcohol.

Oh shit.

“Bonnie?”, that came out sounding very pathetic.

Yannick collects herself and tries to use a composure that doesn’t make her seem like a pathetic barmaid-pleasing gal.

Bonnie is hooded, a dark blue shawl coating her shoulders. Yannick can barely make out Bonnie’s face from the provided shadow; but she can make out a very faint ‘o’ on her lips.

they stare in silence for a moment and now Yannick's not cold anymore—she just feels uncomfortably warm and awkward.

Her eyes divert from Bonnie's face as she takes another smoke of her half-cigarette. ‘Is it me or did this burn away too fast?’. She's sweating in the cold.

As she turns her head away, socially unsure of what to do and selecting to just freeze up and hope the assumed threat goes away, Bonnie is facing her back and she can feel her gaze staring at her every detail. For Some Reason.

Then she feels a familiar coarse fabric wrap around her neck delicately.

Bonnie ties the motion up with her cold fingers feathering the bare of Yannick's neck.

“They ripped this off you, correct?”

Yannick is too scared to make eye contact, she can practically feel the warmth radiating off Bonnie's body from behind, SHE'S SO CLOSE—

she inhales, deeply. “Yes.”

Bonnie hums.

She's not sure what Bonnie thinks, because technically she just beat up some guys infront of her at her job and she might yell at her or or she's upset and going to insult her to her facs but she's not and that's even scarier and woman why are you so hard to read—

“That was attractive.”

oh.

Bonnie settles closer, half behind her and half beside Yannick and Yannick can barely make out her unhooded face staring at her in her peripherals and oh god she hasn't made a sound yet Bonnie probably doesn't think she's attractive anymore because Yannick doesn't know how to talk to people and fuck—

Bonnie's fingers are lightly tracing Yannick's injured cheekbone.

And then fully settles on cupping her jawline.

“I saw them manage to land a few hits on you.” Bonnie said deeply. So close to her she can feel warm breath on her ear.

Yannick musters up enough courage to face Bonnie, they're centimeters apart and Bonnie looks absolutely stunning under the moon. She realizes she's abit taller than Bonnie and her frazzled homosexual mind makes a distinction between the stars and the freckles on Bonnie's face. Fuck.

“I'm alright.” Yannick states, trying to distract herself from Bonnie's pretty face. Bonnie does a slight head tilt, eyes narrowing at Yannick as if she was observing every facial muscle to see if there was a lie. And no, Yannick was not alright.

Bonnie's other hand is flat against underneath her ribs. And Yannick's breath hitches when cold palms and a hot body meet. The hand traces up weightlessly, caressing. Bonnie looks at her unreadably with half-lidded eyes.

And then her hand travels a particular spot and Yannick jolts in pain.

“You have no self preservation, do you know that? Your braveness is alluring but very stupid.”

Well, atleast she thinks her impulsivity is braveness. Yannick supposes that's one way to interpret it.

Bonnie's hand travels down her waist and rests on her hips. Yannick's breathing had gotten all shaky from all this holding. Touch-starved much?

Yannick is embarrassed, flustered, and gay. And decides to face away from Bonnie again because she might explode if she stares at those eyes for too long and so she places the cigarette inbetween her lips. The hand on her jawline falls to the broad of her shoulder.

“So adorable when you're timid.”

The hand on her shoulder is absent. Bonnie removes the cigarette from Yannick's mouth as she stares with her brows furrowed. And then she watches as Bonnie places them inbetween her own lips and takes a long drawl of her own.

Yannick is absolutely destroyed.

“I didn't take you for the smoking type.”

It took her all her willpower to not stutter.

The cigarette sits betweens Bonnie's two fingers, and to her suprise— Bonnie laughs.

absolutely divine.

“Nobody does.” Bonnie smiles at her, before returning the cigarette back into Yannick's mouth. Yannick's going to die like this.