#that's a clown wig in case it's not clear

[kn-rainbowblood]

I'm ready either way.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

BORIS JOHNSON RESIGNS AS MP. Thoughts? The people howl for a new update to the Big Dog the Clown saga.

Yes this was not on my personal bingo card; my most recent Big Dog event was that a friend of mine works for air traffic control and recently had to delay BoJo's holiday flight by four hours, and on being told that this particular plane had to be prioritised for a runway slot because it contained an Important Clown promptly pushed it to the bottom of the priority list. Lol. And then all this! What larks.

Okay not a lot of detail yet still but LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE EVENTS OF 9TH JUNE, 2023 and you know what? It's been a while. Let's do it properly.

7.15am

Another day dawns in the reign of evil Grand Vizier-turned-PM Rishi Sunak. He's a very boring flavour of evil, tbh. Say what you will about Johnson, but at least there was spectacle and showmanship to his clownshow. Something for the children to boo and hiss. An animate ham in a villain's wig, something to really enjoy as you sit back, relax, and savour a tall, cool glass of schadenfreude.

By contrast Rishi just gets sycophants - who are no less ridiculous, but far more grey and boring - who pretend he's a tech bro because "he understands AI" and they think that will make him a visionary and a man of the future and maybe some sort of Elon Musk figure, because that's obviously a smashing template to be copied in a leader of a country.

This briefing was presumably drafted using ChatGPT.

Anyway, this is what we thought the day would be: another dreary overcast washout, livened up by Downing Street's latest attempt at making Sunak seem like a good idea to stave off the hulking spectre of Labour's inevitable GE win next year. How trite. How tedious. How mediocre.

What a shame it would be if... something were to liven it up.

8.39 am

Fun fact!

When a PM's term ends, as their last act in office, they get to present an Honours List. This means they write a list of all the people they reckon have been Jolly Good Sorts who have done Good Clowning and Supported The Community, and nominate those people for honours. Honours here can be anything from an MBE/OBE etc, to a Damehood/Knighthood, all the way up to entering the Peerage i.e. becoming a Lord. Traditionally, people have been fairly reasonable with these lists. Apart from anything else, the outgoing PM can only write the list - the new Prime Minister has to sign off on it, and it's usually the case, of course, that PMs are deposed by the opposition party.

Why am I mentioning this? Well: Boris, you see, has now presented his list to Sunak to validate. You may be unsurprised to learn that it contains quite a lot of clowns.

Another fun fact!

If a sitting MP is given a Peerage, they cannot continue to be an MP. MPs are elected. Lords are not. So an MP offered a lordship right now would have to stand down if they accepted, triggering a by-election in their seat that... well. That anyone could win, couldn't they? Ordinarily. Except Labour's shadow is growing, isn't it? I don't suppose Sunak would be all that happy about losing, for example, any Tory MPs nominated for a peerage right now.

What fun facts.

At 8.39am, Politics UK reveals an as-yet-unverified report that Nadine Dorries and Alok Sharma have been removed from Boris Johnson's honours list, and will go back to vetting.

(They also reveal that Big Dog's dad has been removed from the list, because nominating your dad for a Peerage is "inappropriate". Sorry, Bigger Dog. Apparently even corrupt ghoul Rishi Sunak has a limit to what open corruption he will allow, which is news to us all, most of all Rishi.)

10.41am

Nadine Dorries decides she will play to her strengths, and appear on TV to do some Public Speaking, which always goes well for her of course.

Nothing, let's remember, has been confirmed yet at all. But she's here to put people's minds at ease! No power-hungry status-chasing pink maniac, she! She is very clear in her aims.

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

Quite right, Nadine. That would be disastrous.

11.20am

Oh, it’s Tory think tank NRG’s conference in Doncaster today.  Gideon George Osborne, pig-stupid former Grand Vizier and idiot fail-heir to David "pig-fucker" Cameron, gives a speech.  Let's see some quotes!

On the Tories’ choices of chancellors since he personally fell on his sword over Brexit left the role:

“You can see when the partnership doesn’t work. The government's paralysed and the politics is terrible.”

Fair, but also you are a government, George.

On Tories who attack the civil service:

“We’re in charge of our country’s destiny. We should stop blaming others if we don’t get things right." 

... right. But you just... Uh.

On Tory culture warriors:

“It’s really important that the Conservative Party is excited about the country we aspire to lead… and doesn’t get in to ‘we’re against all these groups of people’. We’re the inclusive people.”

Well, points for clearing that absurdly low bar, I guess. Christ, I cannot BELIEVE Suella Braverman is making George fucking Osborne look good-by-comparison.

1pm

Ooh. Nadine's attempts to put minds at ease have inexplicably not worked, can't think why not. She's such a reassuring and charismatic speaker normally.

But the rumour is now FLYING about that Nadine has indeed been dropped from the honours list, and specifically because Sunak wants to avoid a by-election that will lose him more seats at a time when he is desperate for even a mat on the floor as long as it's blue.

Sorry, Nads. Still; this morning you were very clear that the constituency comes first, so I suppose that's okay. The priority now is that she MUST stay in position, so the Tories can keep their numbers steady. It is VITAL she remains an MP. Let's remember her exact words!

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

3.45pm

Nadine Dorries tweets her resignation.

The last thing she does as an MP is indeed to cause a by-election in her constituency.

3.50pm

Except this is Nadine Dorries we're talking about. She's found some flashy balls to juggle, look, and a boy to pour custard down her trousers.

Not five minutes after dropping the bombshell, she deletes the last tweet announcing her resignation, and tweets a new one.

The new tweet says, “it is now time for another to take the reins” as the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire.

The original tweet said, “it is now time for someone younger to take the reins.”

*

On Talk TV, Dorries says that "something significant did happen to change my mind", but doesn’t elaborate.

3.56pm

The whispers are whispering. The rumours are rumouring. The knives are sharpening.

Nadine's now-former seat is Mid-Bedfordshire, and has been Tory since 1929; a safe seat, which certainly explains how Nadine fucking Dorries managed to hold it for as long as she did.

An MP on the right of the Tory party says that if the Tories lose the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, it’ll open questions about Rishi Sunak's leadership CLOWNFALL 3: REVENGE OF BIG DOG LET'S GOOOOOO

3.57pm

Nadine Dorries is removed from the WhatsApp group.

I would love to know who leaked that image. I really should not have that image. Ah well. Now you do too.

4.12pm

Good tweet alert!

5.08pm

Phew! What a day. Let's see how Rishi's getting on.

He approves the rest of BoJo's honours list. Shall we take a look at our newly-honoured citizens? Shall we see what familiar names crop up?

Honours for staff at centre of Partygate Jack Doyle, Rosie Bate-Williams and Shelly Williams-Walker (and a lot of other terrible and disgraced people who were loyal to Johnson, and some of Carrie Antoinette’s friends).

Damehoods for Andrea Jenkyns and Priti Patel.

Knighthoods for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Conor Burns, and Michael Fabricant.

An OBE for Kelly Jo Dodge, Parliamentary hairdresser.

Also honours for Ben Houchen, currently at the heart of a media storm about dodgy property deals.  His huge regeneration project in Teesside is subject to a government investigation regarding the governance, finance and value for money.

*

(Interesting point – Tory MPs Allister Jack and Nigel Adams were offered peerages, but decided to wait, since accepting now would trigger by-elections.

Why were they offered at all, do you think?)

*

So … this means Michael Fabricant is now Sir Michael Fabricant.  Like, actually.  Genuinely.

Nice one, Rishi. Thank goodness you understand AIs.

5.44pm

The Guardian’s Pippa Crerar - journalist who brought down Big Dog one Partygate reveal at a time - tweets her guide to he honours list:

Martin Reynolds, former PPS, invited 200 officials to drinks in Downing St garden.  He told officials to "bring your own booze", later adding: "We seem to have got away with it".

Shelley Williams-Walker, getting a Damehood, was No 10 head of opps & now runs his office.  At No 10 party the night before Prince Philip's funeral she was dubbed "DJ SWW" for her banger playlist.

Jack Doyle & Rosie Bate-Williams, who get OBEs, were press spox who repeatedly denied the parties happened

Dan Rosenfield, who gets a peerage, quit in mass exodus of senior No 10 staff as anger over Partygate grew.  Former chief of staff faced reports he was among senior Downing Street officials who attended a Christmas quiz when restrictions were in place.

Shaun Bailey, who ran unsuccessfully for London mayor, gets a peerage, and Ben Mallett, a close friend of Carrie Antoinette's who ran Zac Goldsmith’s disastrous mayoral campaign, gets an OBE. Both are in this picture of a lockdown-flouting party at CCHQ:

What a sea of punchable faces.

7.58pm

But we've been so focused on Nadine! She's fucked up her juggling, look, but she's sliding around on the rollerskates, ever so distracting. But here's the thing, Tumblrs, here's the thing:

Among all of this, what's the Chief Clown doing?

The Privilege Committee reveals in their draft report that Boris Johnson misled Parliament, and recommends a sanction of more than 10 days.

Does that sound too little? Are you wishing it were smething more meaningful? Let me help put it in context.

This sanction would be enough to trigger a by-election in Johnson’s seat.

8.02pm

Boris Johnson

QUITS

as an MP

The committee said Johson had “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons. Fascinating! I didn't know its honour had ever been pugned.

He accuses the inquiry of trying to “drive me out”!!!!

"It is very sad to be leaving parliament - at least for now - but above all I am bewildered and appalled that I can be forced out, anti-democratically, by a committee chaired and managed, by Harriet Harman, with such egregious bias".

Worth noting that the committee has a Conservative majority, mind. But you mustn't let things like facts get in the way of your feelings, BlowJo. You never have as a politician. Nor as a journalist, come to that.

(Also SIDE NOTE – “at least for now”??  What are you planning, Big Dog??  I suppose Nadine is leaving an empty seat...)

8.41pm

Christopher Hope of the Daily Telegraph reports he’s heard rumours of a THIRD Tory MP potentially resigning – and another Johnson loyalist at that. Lol. Trololol. Lmao, even. Perhaps rofl.

11.43pm

And finally, the day is wrapped up with the Guardian revealing their front cover for the following day:

Big Dog is OUT, hot trans bloke is IN.

Not a bad finish.

[toweringclam]

I don't think I've ever had my opinion of a character change so completely so quick as it has with Mustard in the latest page of Clown Corps.

I get that she's going down a darker path. Everyone is rn. It's not about her making bad decisions based on limited information. I get that. That's good character work, even if it hurts.

No, it's the revelation of how hollow she really is.

When first introduced, Mustard was this badass, sexy clown lady who was always in control of the situation. She made lame jokes to get under Binky's skin and she provided good advice for McBell when she needed it. Sure, it was pretty obvious to us that her entire look was literally just a sexy Ronald McDonald cosplay, but we don't have any reason to think that's the case in-universe. We learned more about her, her tragic backstory, how she was fulfilling her dead sister's dream, etc. Her name, her outfit, even becoming a clown to begin with, it's all based on Maggie's ideas.

At first, it seems like a loving homage. But then, when she decides to create a dark alter ego, what does she do? She rips off her sister. Again.

Her outfit is lame too. It's literally just a palette swap of something she'd wear normally. She didn't even bother with a wig. And it becomes clear that she doesn't actually have the creativity to come up with a new idea herself, nor the trust in others to let someone else help her choose one. Her new identity is "the idea my sister had when she was a kid, but in the edgy colors she uses now."

And it throws her judgement into question. Maybe those jokes weren't lame on purpose. Maybe she's just bad at making jokes. Her mentor advice has been terrible lately, maybe it's never been good and she just got lucky.

My faith in her has completely crumbled, and that's brilliant. It's a way of removing a mentor from the picture that I've never seen before. It's one thing to reveal a mentor as evil all along. It's another to reveal them as lame.

[la-pheacienne]

Alright my take about the first episode, as unbiased and neutered down as I can possibly make it. There will be a choosing violence spree but I'm saving it for later, we just started.

Good:

Better wigs

Rhaenyra. Specifically when she comes back and the camera only shows her back and Daemon rushes to her and she says nothing and moves forward and asks for Aemond Targaryen, that was gold. God I want those greens obliterated one by one.

That kid who plays Jace is way too young for me but oh boy. I am not normal when I see him on screen.

Starkfest opening scene and Targ x Stark alliance, how they're so different yet have actual respect for one another. The very heart of asoiaf. Yes.

Jace serving Book!Jon Snow.

Daemon desperately wanting to kill someone and not being able to is hilarious. Let the man commit murder with his own bare hands ffs, thanks.

Thank god we didn't see severed baby heads flying around the room that was a correct writing and directing choice.

Aegon. I really like him. He is the one green player I actually respect as an antagonist because he is disgusting but feels real, with a solid characterization. The acting is just so effortless. He's also different than all the villains we've seen in GoT, I enjoy seeing him on screen. If only this story was adapted properly with focus on Rhaenyra from one side and Aegon on the other, instead of Rhaenicent. If only.

A Lannister being the clown of the group and having a beef with a child, I love the continuity.

Blood and Cheese wandering around the corridors. Watching the entire process prior to the crime, even the less important, gritty details that are normally not the focus of a narrative (like the logistics of reaching the destination) elevates the scene.

Bad:

The actual Blood and Cheese scene was not it. I didn't want to see the head flying around with blood everywhere, yes, but this is such a notorious scene and the writers should have treated it as such. Helaena offering a necklace when they asked for her son was heartbreaking to me, but her reaction when they actually killed her son does not cut it, even if we take her neurodivergence into account. Also the juxtaposition between the horror of the murder and alicole boning could have worked in another context but not here, not for this scene, not when a child just got butchered like that. Very tacky.

Alicent continues to be the main problem of the show. I do not get her motivations, I do not get what she wants, what she thinks or how she feels. I did not get her fight with Otto either. What are they actually fighting about? Where is their disagreement? It is truly not clear because Alicent's stance is not clear.

Rhaenicent being a classic case of tell not show, but I talked about this in a separate post.

Cannot fucking stand Aemond god help me that boy is lifeless. Why did they do this to the actor. Why can't he have more than one expression. Jesus.

Rhaenys girl why. Why. "Would that you were the king" baby girl that is not how this entire thing works. Just, no. Also another victim of the lifeless royal syndrome.

Kind of boring overall but I loved some moments.

[butwhatifidothis]

bl stans are sooo much stronger than me bc if someone said something so blatantly and heinously wrong about my faves like this i’d snap. like i’m so serious this would send me straight into my joker arc

(guess you accidentally put it in twice lol rip)

I'm not gonna address any kind of defense for Not Just Kills But Murders OP, we all know that the original tweet was silly. The fastest way to spot a clown is the funny clown nose and wig, but another, more subtle way is to watch if they've ever tried to make NJKBM anything but the accidental joke that it is.

But I kinda wanna actually talk about the Fleche one a bit, because there is such a weird amount of going-to-bat for her and Randolph that's actually kinda baffling.

Fleche and Randolph are bit characters. They barely even are characters. They are devices the writers put into the story so that specifically AM and specifically Dimitri benefit from what they give, which is a solidification of the message that letting vengeance be your one driving force will lead to your end. They are completely irrelevant to all other parts of the game, with Fleche even being completely absent in half of the routes save for one mention of her name as Randolph is literally dying. She loved Randolph so much that she was willing to kill Dimitri to avenge him, but apparently not enough to kill Seteth or Claude for doing literally the same thing.

Except, hey, wait a hingly-dingly minute there, that's not right. Seteth and Claude can only potentially be the ones to kill Randolph in their respective routes, while Dimitri is literally the only one hard-confirmed to not be the one to kill Randolph. Byleth does. They kill him. But Fleche still singles out Dimitri as to one to kill him - not threaten to torture like is the case, but to kill him outright. She calls Dimitri a monster, she hates Dimitri with all she has, she'll never forgive Dimitri, while not giving a single shit about Byleth despite them being the one to kill Randolph. She doesn't give a single shit about the multitude of other people that could have potentially killed Randolph in SS or VW.

Hell, it's not even clear how she knew about Randolph's death, only that she knew that a "monster" (aka Dimitri) was in the ranks of the army in AM, so it looks like she kinda just assumes "the monster" killed her brother without having any actual knowledge on who did what. And even giving the benefit of the doubt in that "well Dimitri MADE Byleth kill Randolph so same difference," that still doesn't explain Fleche's radio silence in the other two routes this can happen in. And still doesn't actually explain why Byleth wouldn't just be lumped in the vengeance quest for, like, still being the one to actually kill her brother outright?

Because we as players aren't meant to really care that much about her - she and Randolph are given no point in the story other than showing off to Dimitri why his quest for revenge is Cringe And Not Based like he thinks it is. They are literally meant to show off why Dimitri's misguided quest for vengeance is dangerous and unfulfilling, which is why when Fleche stabs and kills Rodrigue Dimitri comes to his senses and rejects vengeance as a motivation. That is all Fleche and Randolph do.

(we ignore the "Edelgard did nothing to Dimitri" lie - because at this point they've got to just be outright lying to cope - we know it's not true and we move on from it)

They are given no focus whatsoever on any other route because it is AM where their one, singular purpose is found. Even on CF, the route where you can actually talk to them, at best Randolph is given one cutscene where he dies and makes Edelgard Sadge before she immediately gets over it and moves on never to mention or think about Randolph ever again. And Fleche does literally nothing - she just stands there for the rest of the game as a lump on a log. So seeing multiple people saying "Fleche wasn't allowed vengeance when Dimitri was!" when Dimitri literally isn't allowed vengeance and always dies should he continue to strive for it is just weird. They're, again, trying to go to bat for two bit characters that are solely meant to encapsulate the opposite of what the batters are saying lmao

[chronicbeans]

Edgar Lee, The Actor (hehe more Batman OCs)

Basically I made an OC based off of Maladaptive Daydreaming. A lot of Batman Villains in specific versions of the canon seem to be based off of slightly exaggerated versions of their mental illness or trope, so this guy entered my brain. I needed to write the basic idea down before he left.

TW: Maladaptive Daydreaming, Imitation, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Regret, Fear

☁️ Edgar Lee is a man who is constantly lost in his own world. Ever since he was a young child, he constantly daydreamed. Now that he is a young man, he still engages heavily in fantasy. He even plays pretend, in a way, pretending that he is anybody but himself. He has been quoted saying "If I am anybody but myself, I will be fine."

☁️ With his head lost in the clouds, he enjoys going shopping in order to make costumes for the characters he creates. From buying a cassock to dress as a priest he made in his mind, to buying wigs and makeup to play the role of an alluring seductress, he does his absolute best to become his characters. He usually is pretty good about it, too, with some not recognizing him when he is in character.

☁️ Edgar's stories tend to lean on the... dark side. He even takes real life events and bases a character off of them. Characters like "The Puzzle Maker" or "Boba the Clown" taking clear inspiration from The Riddler and The Joker. As Edgar said, as long as he is anybody but himself, he will be fine. Even if who he is playing is a violent criminal.

☁️ He simply pretended in his room, pacing around and rambling to himself, for the longest of time. He drew his characters, made elaborate backstories for his characters, and even made their names have meaning. Then, one day, the pretending and the rambling and the pacing just... didn't satisfy as much as it used to. Pretending to pull off elaborate schemes didn't satisfy him.

☁️ After committing his first crime, he felt nothing but fear. He was terrified, full of regret and terror at what he had done. That stress caused him to begin fantasizing again, pretending to be a completely different character than the one he committed the crime as. Then, it became a cycle. He'd rather pretend than face his own actions.

☁️ Nobody's heard from Edgar Lee in a while. It is always "Father David Jones" or "Mrs. Williams". Then, when people ask to talk to Edgar as himself, and not a character, he simply begs them to play along with his fantasy. Repeating the same lines of "If I am anybody but myself, I will be fine."

☁️ This has made extracting information and treating Edgar Lee at Arkham Asylum extremely difficult. He is so deep within fantasy, refusing to face reality, that most interviews and sessions are not with him. They are with a character. Any mentions of his crimes to Edgar, while he is in reality and not in a daydream, are faced with fear and regret. Then, he promptly goes back to his fantasies and becomes a character, again. He has made it clear that it is not a case of dissociative identity disorder, saying that he made these characters up and is aware of when he is playing them, choosing to do so.

☁️ Many simply call him The Actor, despite him not creating that name himself, due to his constantly changing persona. One second, he's a mafia boss, the next he will be a con-man scamming people. The Actor is an all encompassing name for the numerous characters he plays. It also describes what he does to a T. He acts as these characters to cope with whatever he is trying to deal with, so much so that it is unhealthy and is now endangering others and himself.

[attemptinghaikyuu]

Joking About Dating A Friend But They Take You Seriously

A/n: woohoo, we’re doing another one babbyyy! I’ll never get tired of these sorts of situations honestly <3

G/n reader

Team Captains (most of them~)

Kuroo Tetsurou

He was walking behind you, about to tap your shoulder, witty conversation starter at the tip of his tongue one he totally hadn’t prepared a day beforehand, only to be hit with you saying “Wow, look at you! A fantastic boyfriend i have indeed.”

Reals back, all thoughts flying out of his head

All internal excitement dissipates as panic and dread take its place

You had introduced Kuroo to the guy you were calling your boyfriend, saying you were only friends and yet…

How come he didn’t know? Him and you were close to each other, right? Had he been so deep into your smiles and pretty eyes that he had misread everything? Maybe he had made up the little signs that meant you felt the same

It was probably his feelings making him a lovesick fool

That thought stuck with him the most because that made him pretty delusional if he got everything this mixed up

He has so many questions rattling in his brain, pinning him down, that he doesn’t realize you’ve turned around and are staring at him

It takes your hand waving back and forth in front of him to startle him out of his trance

His panic doubles, voice strained

“Ahh, hey there kitten. What’s new?”

It’s missing his usual excitement and he sounds strangled, you notice right away that he’s also turned away from you

“Tets are you all good? Are you sick, I could get you some medicine if you aren’t feeling well?”

“What no, I’m not- you don’t have to do any of that, I’m better than I could ever be.” He chuckles and he knows he’s not being convincing in the slightest

“Huh, I’ll get the truth out of you in a sec, I’m gonna say bye to my friend and then we can go, okay?”

“Don’t you mean boyfriend.” It comes out before he can stop himself

The bitter tone is so obvious he’s tempted to bolt, maybe start over as a circus clown

He’s positive he could pull that wig off

Your voice is laced with laughter when you ask if he really does need to go see a doctor

“And what boyfriend?” You pause, smile growing. “Are you talking about yourself or what?”

Now he’s flustered and confused. It’s not like you didn’t talk like that with him but you had a boyfriend now didn’t you or was that..?

“WAIT EARLIER YOU-

He takes a deep breath, he could be wrong, he needs to stay calm

“We’re, we’re you just kidding around when you said your friend was, well ya know?”

You laugh again and explain, slightly embarrassed by the mishap, that yes you were kidding around

He feels all of his confidence come back and asks the question that leads to you two finally dating

“If that’s the case and the spot really isn’t taken, how about I become your boyfriend?”

Bokuto Koutaro

He. Is. Crushed.

Everyone around him can feel the tense atmosphere and looking at his face is like a punch to the gut with his heartbroken eyes, he’s staring at you like you’ve died instead of said you loved your girlfriend

All bokuto had wanted was to give you a quick hug before he headed off to practice

Instead he has to deal with the weight of knowing you’re with someone else, that and the realization that he needs to put away his own feelings so he doesn’t ruin your relationship with the person you love

He had known he liked you for quite awhile, it was hard figuring out a time he should confess or whether that would make you uncomfortable

He’s glad he never tried anything since it saved him from the possibility of making things hard for you, seeing as how you would’ve had to let your friend down

Bokuto looks at you closely, there’s a grin on your face as you stare at her and if you’re happy then he can live with this

That’s what he firmly thinks

And so pulling himself up with a smile, he walks over to you with a solidly convincing amount of energy

He talks excitedly and almost exactly like he would normally

What he’s saying doesn’t sit right with you though

His words are depressing and he looks like he’s forcing himself to talk like this

You stop him in the middle of a joke, that wasn’t all that funny with the sad way it was being told, and ask if he’s okay

His smile gets even bigger, and now you can see it’s clearly fake as he gives you some excuse about training being harder on him lately

You decide to wait and give him a little space, you assume he’ll walk off to volleyball practice, and later you’ll be able to talk with him about whatever’s going on

When he keeps talking and it becomes clear he’s not moving, stalling for time, you ask if you can talk alone with him

“Bo, is um, did something happen? You’re upset aren’t you?” You question him cautiously

“Nope! I’m just glad I get to talk with you, it’s not something I’ll be able to do as often since you have to spend time with your girlfriend and all!”

His smile finally slips as what he said hits you both

You’re quick in explaining the mistake now that you know what’s eating away at him

He can’t believe his luck when he hears you say it was just a joke, it’s too good to be true

But he doesn’t care, he’s just happy

Doesn’t even let himself process it all before he’s asking you to please, think about dating him

You’re both glad his smile is back to normal when you say you’d love to

Kita Shinsuke

Keeps it together like the seemingly impassive and parent friend that he is

Hurts so much more then he wants to admit

Doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but if you say that you have a partner, than those are the facts and he can’t change anything

But shit, does he wish he could

He’s standing right next to you, a step away and if he took it you would be pressed against his side

That’s an impossible reality, a fantasy he needs to put to rest now that he knows your feelings for someone else

That step however, is ungraciously closed when you trip backward from what appears to be your partner moving their foot as you had moved forward, resulting in you falling onto Kita

Instantly flustered by it and is feeling so betrayed by his body when he automatically puts an arm around you to keep you upright

He tries to be respectful as he removes himself from your side, it isn’t right for him to be that close to you, he’ll just have to push down the disappointment he feels from the lack of contact

“Kita-kun! I’m really sorry about that, my friend” you give a pointed glare towards the person of your affection. “accidentally knocked me into you.”

He gives a small smile at you, slightly unsure as to why you would address your partner as just your friend

If he’s being truthful, he doesn’t want to think about it anymore and that’s why he allows himself to shrug off the strange event

He acts like he always does in the next couple days, though the aggressive lilt in his voice that appears at any mistake he spots, gives away his frustration

His feelings are boiling over the surface and he realizes he needs to find a way to get over this

The best way to do that, he concludes, is to tell you his feelings so he can take the rejection and move on

A resolution that he puts into motion the next time he’s with you

He does it simply and tries to make it as small and meaningless as possible

“Thanks for listening to this, I know it must be difficult to deal with.”

You’re speechless and Kita wishes this could be easier but he steels himself for what’s about to come next

“I- Kita, I know you’re not and I apologize in advance, but are you a dumbass?” You’re expression is both mortified and happy and he really doesn’t know what’s happening

“I like you. I was messing around with my friend and I promise you, I will never be doing that again.”

Oh, Kita is so relieved and the first thing he does when you become official is pull you in for a hug

And he’s gonna keep pulling you in for hugs :3

Ushijima Wakatoshi

His surprise is on full display and he ends up staring at you so intensely you automatically come up to ask him what was wrong

Isn’t sure how to put into words how he feels at the moment

You are your own person, so he shouldn’t feel any right to being the one to call you his partner

Yet he can’t stop the disappointment from filling every part of him

Ushijima wants to be mature about this though, If you think that girl is good enough for you then he will live with the heartache

So he shakes his head and comes up with a small excuse for his behavior

He seems normal to most in the following week, quite and stoic, more silent around you than he’s probably ever been but nothing really out of place per say

However his annoyance with your girlfriend only grows when he sees that you are not being treated how most would in a romantic relationship

He’s had enough when he hears her tell you about this pretty girl she saw the other day

She’s all casual and smiles when she says it too

Walks over, taps your shoulder, and asks if you can talk in private

It wasn’t right and he was 100% calm when he explained why he thought you weren’t being treated right

And he definitely wasn’t a little jealous and using the way your girlfriend was acting as a way to see if he could prove he could treat you better

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being completely rational when he was making his points as to why you should maybe, just possibly reconsider the whole dating your girlfriend thing

But the fact that she hadn’t held your hand was very important and he needed you to know that

He needed you to know that you shouldn’t have to listen to the one you cared for like that, speak of another person they found good looking, especially when the most attractive one was you

Ushijima doesn’t know how to take your silence when he finishes, and you seem… embarrassed?

Had he gone too far? Over stepped a boundary in his jealousy?

He was considering an apology for his rash behavior when you spoke up, though it was more appropriate to call it spoke down with the way you had your head lowered and voice quiet

“Toshi, did you mean all that?”

He’s not sure where this is going, he responds honestly regardless

“Yes, I meant it and I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He doesn’t apologize for insulting your girlfriend tho~

“Then you should probably know that I was only playing around when I said I was dating my friend. We’re not together.” You finally look into his eyes. “I’m pretty single and uh, if you really wanna help me in my dating problems you could date me, that’d fix them all.”

The slightest blush appears on his cheeks and when he reply’s with his yes, it’s almost like a happy sigh

He makes sure to show you how much he loves you everyday, he’s also still slightly bitter around your friend <3

Terushima Yuuji

Freaking out

He is having a hardcore internal screaming sesh

Walks away from you so he can pretend he didn’t just hear that

Also wants to make sure you don’t see him panicking

He finds a place where he’s alone, a field outside the gym he had been in, that is till he’d heard you talk to your boyfriend

Who was apparently, very entertaining if the way you had been laughing was any indication

Stands there, blank for a few seconds

Is so set on not crying over something like this because he knows that you’re amazing and shouldn’t be so surprised over you dating some other dude

He should go back inside and act like he always does, or maybe not since you are with your boyfriend

He’s being stupid, acting this overworked

It’s what he tells himself but he can feel a couple tears slip down his cheeks and there’s a sob bubbling up in his chest against his will

This didn’t feel fair

He wants to do something, he just doesn’t know what

Pretending he’s fine would be a good option if he could stop crying

It’s not looking feasible at the moment however

Takes a shaky breath and is coming to the decision he should leave you alone for now when he hears his name

Someone’s calling him, someone who absolutely cannot see him right now

He starts sprinting, but the thing about crying is that it’s pretty exhausting and before he knows it he’s gasping for breath, too slow to move out of your reach

“Terushima! Why would you-

You stare at his tear stained face, concern pulling your features into a deep frown and he desperately wishes he wasn’t the cause of it

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask the question softly, making it all hurt a little more

His eyes are closed when he replies. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty head with.”

“Whatever it is I won’t judge and if you want advice or someone to just listen I’m listening.”

“You, it’s really not..” he breaks. “Are you really with that guy?”

It’s none of his business, why’d he have to ask that?

Understanding lights up your face, and with the new information having connected the dots you move closer to him

“I’m not. He and I were joking, so please don’t cry.” He feels a hand wipe a stray tear from his face

“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime,” you laugh a little. “I hope I didn’t completely misread this, if I did I suppose we’d be matching.. and I wouldn’t mind so much if that was the case.”

He answers by grabbing your hand.

“That answer shouldn’t have been so cute, I’ll forgive you by taking you up on that date though.”

[rivalsforlife]

Ace Attorney 20th Anniversary (So Far)

I haven’t seen any posts on my dash so here’s one summarizing everything as of the time I’m writing this!

For the 20th anniversary, though it was pretty quiet for the first part of the day, Capcom launched a 20th anniversary website to commemorate the occasion! You can view the message in English on the main website here, but the rest of the anniversary website is in Japanese.

There are two new anniversary prints:

This is a trilogy-based one drawn by Yusuke Nakamura.

This is a Great Ace Attorney-based one drawn by Kazuya Nuri, the character/art designer for the Great Ace Attorney games.

Both designs can be purchased as framed photographs here, and based on this website, will also at some point be available as a variety of goods such as notebooks, tote bags, mugs, etc. I believe the trilogy ones will be available starting November 17th and the TGAA ones available starting December 17th, however, that’s me relying on google translate, so take it with a grain of salt.

 In addition to the new pieces of art, the website promotes the “Capcom vs Tezuka” art event currently happening in Japan. There’s an ace attorney corner there which, if you happen to be conveniently in Japan right now, would be something to consider checking out. It has details on the early version of Ace Attorney, “Surviban”, which I think would be neat to see.

They also have LINE stickers (which I can’t seem to view from my region, so here’s a link to their tweet about it) now available, and a sale on some of the games - the trilogy is 33-34% off on most platforms, while 456 are 83% off on the 3DS eshop, until October 27th (or October 19th for the trilogy on Xbox and steam!). If you’ve been wanting to buy them, now is a good time. I believe the English versions are also on sale. They advertise the Capcom Cafe which is currently running ace attorney goods as well.

Interestingly, they will feature an interactive “history” part on the website. This isn’t up yet, but if you want to know what to expect, here’s the 15th anniversary’s history. I’m not sure WHY this isn’t up yet, whether they ran out of time or... are waiting to announce something else... *clown wig lowers from ceiling and onto my head* (this is speculation on my part in case that wasn’t clear.)

So far there’s been no news of any 20th anniversary events like there was for the 15th, although that could potentially be coming later, or the ongoing pandemic is complicating things for us again.

If you want something to watch for nostalgia purposes, here’s the 15th anniversary series timeline video that was at TGS 2016... with no Ace Attorney TGS this year, and the pandemic, there might not be as much for the 20th anniversary as for the 15th, but hopefully we will all find something ace attorney-related to enjoy this year!

[deadstrangeblog]

The Clown Mistress

For centuries, clowns have been either loved or loathed figures in society. With their garish makeup and expressions, it’s no surprise that coulrophobia is one of our most common phobias, and even if you’re ok with clowns, you’ve got to admit that they’re a little bit creepy. Just do a quick Google image search of Krinkles the Clown or the Original Ronald McDonald, and you’ll see what I mean. If you’re an avid true crime fan, you’ll know all about John Wayne Gacy. Gacy’s alter egos Pogo and Patches produced some of the most iconic photos in the true crime world, with the haunting images of him grinning from ear to ear in full clown costume being the stuff of absolute nightmares. In spite of his capture, the notorious killer once joked that “A clown can get away with murder”. That can’t be said for Gacy, whose capture in the May of 1968 brought an end to his terrifying span of serial murder. It could be said, though, about the bizarre case of Marlene Warren.

On Thursday, May 26th, 1990, 40-Year-Old Marlene Warren was eating breakfast at the table of her Florida home. It was a normal day for the Warrens, who lived in an exclusive community in Wellington known as the Aero Club. Each property in the Aereo Club had access to a private runway, and this was a must-have luxury for it’s wealthy residents. Marlene was married to Mike Warren, and the pair met after her first marriage to John Arhens fell apart. Mike’s natural charm as a used car salesman was sure to benefit him in the dating game, and the pair hit it off right away. Marlene had two sons to her first husband, John Jr. and Joe. The boys got along with Mike with no trouble at all, and Joe even recalled that he was “the only dad I knew.”

Mike and Marlene soon discovered they worked remarkably well as business partners too, and they owned several businesses together. They opened up a car dealership called Bargain Motors, and the business was relatively successful. With the profits, they were able to buy several rental properties on West Palm Beach, a racehorse, and even an airplane, and soon enough, their riches were able to buy them a property in one of Wellington’s wealthiest communities. It was safe to say that Mike and Marlene were an unstoppable force, and everything was working in their favour.

However, tragedy struck in the Autumn of 1988, a tragedy that would test any family’s strength. On September 23rd, 1988, John Jr. died in a devastating accident when he was just 22-years-old. At 10:57 a.m, he was driving his 1983 Datsun when for some reason, he decided to jump a red light at the intersection. Another car ploughed into him, and he was pronounced dead at the scene. The death of her oldest son ripped Marlene apart, and the grieving process took a toll on everybody. Speaking about the death of his brother, Joe recalls that it was at this time in his mother and stepfather’s life that their marriage began to fall apart. He said that “He wasn’t around as much as he should have been.”

Probably craving affection from his grieving wife, Mike made the immoral decision to have an affair with a co-worker, 26-year-old Sheila Keen. Sheila worked for Mike, regularly repossessing cars for him and dealing with the accounts. At the time of John Jr.s accident, she had recently divorced her husband, Richard, telling the divorce courts that she was regularly the victim of domestic violence by his hand. All these factors made Mike and Sheila the perfect recipe for adultery, and rumours soon circulated after Sheila moved into a property owned by Mike. In fact, Mike even paid her rent, and neighbours regularly saw them together at her West Palm Beach apartment. Yet still, Marlene was working hard and soldiering on for the sake of her son. Joe, was 21-years-old, and he needed his mother’s support at such an important age. 

That morning of Thursday May 26th, 1990 was a day like any other. It was going to be a Memorial Day Weekend, and combined with the pleasant spring heat that Florida offered, everybody was in a great mood. Marlene Warren was eating breakfast with her son and a few of his friends when a white Crysler LeBaron pulled up outside their home. Nothing was unusual yet, as the luxury car brand was a common sight in Wellington. Imagine the family’s surprise though, when a clown stepped out of the car and began walking up the path toward the house. Amused, they could see that the clown was carrying an array of balloons and flowers, and the knock at the front door proved that this was an elaborately set-up gift by someone. Marlene went to the front door and opened it, and Joe heard his mother say “Oh, how pretty.” And then, an unmistakable sound pierced the silence of quiet suburbia: Two gunshots. Joe ran to his mother, only to find her laying in a pool of her own blood and cradling her face. As he tried to make sense of the shocking events, he saw the clown speed away in their expensive car, and Joe could finally see what had happened: A clown had just knocked on his door and shot his mother in the face.

Marlene was rushed to Palm Springs Hospital, but it was no use. Two days later, she succumbed to her devastating injuries. Joe Ahrens had just lost his brother, barely a year and a half ago, and now his mother was gone too. Mike Warren was nowhere to be seen. He was hundreds of miles away, partying with friends and betting on horses at the racecourse. His alibi was pretty tight, and he seemed devastated when police broke the news to him. However, hours later, police received an anonymous tip from a woman saying that they should look into Michael Warren and a woman named Sheila Keen. 

Police were now confident Sheila and Mike Warren were having an affair, and this was the primary motive for Marlene’s murder. However, they needed evidence. There was no sign of a white Crysler LeBaron, no gun.... no clown costume. They appealed to the public, and sure enough, two employees from a nearby Publix came forward to say a woman matching Sheila’s description had bought the exact ensemble of flowers and balloons, just two hours before the murder.

Just down the block, employees working in a costume shop that very same day told police that Sheila had purchased a clown costume from them and had asked them for enough white makeup to “cover herself entirely”. In a nearby parking lot, a white Chrysler LeBaron was found abandoned. Inside, a few curly orange fibres were embedded into the car’s upholstery; the kind of orange fibres you’d get from a orange clown’s wig.

Despite all this, police felt they didn’t have enough evidence to prosecute Sheila Warren for the callous murder. With such basic DNA technology back then, they couldn’t scientifically link her to Marlene’s case. She went on to marry Mike Warren (the widow of her victim) and the pair soon relocated to Tennessee where they opened a restaurant.

In 2017, new evidence emerged that saw Sheila arrested. It took John Moran Jr. 27 years to clear his conscience and provide police with a vital witness statement. He said "I did not want my children to have to live with knowing their grandfather was part of Marlene Warren's murder,". Her trial is currently ongoing, and if she is found guilty, it’s thought that she will receive the death penalty.

[beardedmrbean]

A Florida judge has reluctantly delayed the trial of a woman accused of dressing like a clown and fatally shooting her lover's wife more than 30 years ago after defense attorneys said they're having a hard time contacting witnesses.

The trial for Sheila Keen-Warren was supposed to begin June 3. But on Tuesday Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Scott Suskauer agreed to what could be a four-month delay, the Palm Beach Post reported.

Suskauer said he had already cleared his schedule, delaying other trials and hearings to be able to preside over a three-week trial.

"Think about the impact it has on me. I have a duty to the public," Suskauer told the lawyers. "You also have a victim's family that has waited a long time for justice."

This is the sixth time the trial has been delayed.

It was May 1990 when Marlene Warren, 40, opened her door to find a clown in an orange wig, a red nose but normal high-top shoes holding carnations. According to a report in the Sun-Sentinel the day after the killing, the suspect was carrying two balloons -- one saying "You're the greatest!"

Her then 20-year-old son and his friends, who were in the house, say the clown handed her the gifts. The clown without saying a word then shot her in the face, walked slowly to a Chrysler LeBaron convertible and drove away.

The former Sheila Keen, rumored to be having an affair with Marlene Warren's husband, Michael Warren, was considered a suspect, but the case against her seemed thin. Two nights before the killing, a woman showed up at a costume store telling clerks she urgently needed a clown suit, an orange wig, white gloves, a red nose and enough white makeup to cover her face completely. One of the clerks identified her in a photo lineup, but the other clerk wasn't sure.

She later married Michael Warren and they were living in Virginia when investigators said DNA provided the evidence they needed to arrest her in 2017.

Assistant State Attorney Reid Scott agreed the latest delay was unavoidable.

"I want this defendant to be fully prepared for trial," Scott said. "I don't want to deal with appellate issues."

The defense team - Richard Lubin, Greg Rosenfeld and Amy Morse - blamed Scott, writing that he didn't provide them with names and addresses of key witnesses who are now scattered across the country.

The defense team also said they need to view evidence, including hair fibers, two balloons, a Publix bag and car rental papers, that was not in an evidence locker at the sheriff's office. Those items had been sent to forensics for further review, they said.

"Customarily, a criminal prosecution is straightforward: The police investigate a crime, the police arrest a suspect, and the state prosecutes the suspect," but this case hasn't been handled that way, they wrote.

"Following the arrest, the police and state continued their investigation," they wrote. "This backwards prosecution has hampered Ms. Keen-Warren's ability to prepare for trial."

Because so much time has passed since the killing, sworn depositions have been taken from some witnesses who either can't or won't appear.

"This is a very difficult situation," Lubin told the newspaper. "This is a long-ago event. Witnesses are in their 60s, 70s and 80s. Some of them are dead. Others are debilitated."

[randoimago]

May I please request Trucy Wright and her S/O (male or gn reader) with the prompt " wow... you look... you look amazing. " in regards to a really nice dress Trucy has for a show (or, if you want to go really romantic, there was that one wedding DLC case in SOJ and while I don't know if Trucy canonically attended I wouldn't think it too odd for her to have done so)

" wow... you look... you look amazing. "

Pairing: Trucy x Reader

Rating: Fluff

Warning: None

AN: This is super cute! And Trucy in a dress, adorable! I can imagine her having the dress on in the beginning (for the act) but then ripping it off and having her usual outfit underneath for a “quick change” trick.

“Wow this thing is so flowy! And the ribbons on it!” You chuckled at Trucy’s exclamations through the bathroom door. 

She had gotten a new dress for a trick she wanted to try for her show in a couple days. Truce was trying it on now to make sure it fit and also for practice. You stood on standby just to give her pointers, as if she would need them. She’s a fantastic magician. But you both like being close to each other.

“I think it might be a bit much...” You heard her trail off, causing you to playfully roll your eyes (not that she can see that).

“You look gorgeous no matter what you wear, Trucy,” you told her. A laugh came from the bathroom.

“You’re just saying that! What if I came out in a clown wig and neon tie dye!”

“Ethereal!” You both laughed at the playfulness and also the imagery of Trucy in that type of outfit. Honestly, seeing the rest of the agency’s reactions to that type of outfit on Trucy is even more hilarious a thought.

“I think I have it all zipped and everything, I’m coming out!” You stepped away from the door so she’d have more space as she came out in a light blue dress. There were some small bows on the side of the skirt and the sleeves were slightly see through. The dress itself was cute, but on Trucy? Gorgeous.

“Well, what do you think?” She asked. There was a large smile on her face as she tried to show excitement, but you could still see the nervousness in her eyes at wanting to hear your opinion. You gave her a smile as you had to clear your suddenly dry throat at how beautiful she looks.

“Wow... you look... you look amazing.” Her smile softened as did her eyes.

“Thank you, S/O.” There was a soft, unspoken moment between the two of you before Trucy clapped her hands together. “Okay, time to practice this quick change!” You moved aside again so she could go find the right equipment for the trick. The dress flowed as she walked. You knew the crowd would be as mesmerized as you are.

[lazarus-lazuli]

Loki and Sylvie aren’t endgame and here’s why:

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OBVIOUSLY)

The TL;DR version: The director herself confirmed that their relationship is not going to be romantic. I could literally just leave it at that. Please calm down and stop clogging the tag with outraged posts about something that’s not even happening, thank you.

But I also want to argue that the episode itself makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that they’re not gonna be a couple. Hit the read more to learn why I think that. Or don’t, honestly the fact the director confirmed this should be enough to assuage you, I’m just actively choosing to be annoying at this point.

If you pay attention to the text of the episode, it’s pretty clear that no, Loki and Sylvie aren’t getting together. Heteronormativity in media may have corrupted us enough to jump to that conclusion (because in most shows a man and woman interacting for five or more minutes in a meaningful way = romance), but I don’t think that was the writers’ intention. Hell, if anything, the episode makes a stronger argument for Mobius and Loki getting together which I’ll touch on a bit as well. And while I do ship them I don’t think they’ll be endgame either since Disney is incredibly fucking homophobic and we’re lucky we even got bi Loki; the Pacific Ocean will be a desert before we get to see him with another man. 

So a few ways the episode told us that Sylvie and Loki aren’t gonna get together:

1) Ravonna and Mobius have a VERY important conversation in her office, not just in the sense of Mobius realizing “Oh shit I’ve been lied to”, but in the sense that she talks about their relationship. She makes a point to define their relationship as a friendship several times, while also making it clear that they have a deep emotional connection to each other - one that transcends time and space. It’s a type of relationship that often gets skewed as romantic when we’re talking about tropes, but no, in their case it’s set in stone that their relationship is completely platonic. Character wise the whole thing gets thrown away since she was very much onto him and proceeds to stab him in the back minutes later, but writing wise it was a very important point they were trying to make to the audience. Like, it was important both in universe and for the audience but for different reasons, if that makes sense. Since they established this strong connection between Loki and Sylvie at the very beginning of the episode - strong enough to cause a fucking Nexus Event - they also wanted to sprinkle in the idea that a strong connection does not necessarily equal a romantic one.

2) The main thing people took away from the conversation between Loki and Mobius was that Mobius was jealous - which, yeah, that’s valid and I agree. I mean he was deadass acting like a scorned boyfriend who just caught his partner cheating on him. But another big takeaway that people need was not only did the show itself confirm that Sylvie x Loki is gross (I mean for God’s sake they’re the exact same person; Sylvie was literally confirmed to just be the AFAB version of him IN THE COLD OPENING), but the whole idea of them being together all came from Mobius. All we know is that Loki cares for her - the feelings he’s experiencing are confusing for him because he’s a loner who hasn’t had any friends at all until Mobius and her came along. The one who’s defining those feelings by insisting they must be romantic is Mobius. This is to get under Loki’s skin because he is jealous. Loki never once gives into the idea of their relationship being romantic, even when Mobius lies about Sylvie being pruned just to get a reaction. Loki may not know EXACTLY how he feels since it’s all new to him, but even he’s not obtuse enough to think that he’s actually falling in love with himself. Mobius is just angry at Loki in this scene for multiple reasons, thus all of the romantic interpretation falls on his shoulders. He’s literally just jumping to conclusions. 

Also when he says Sylvie got pruned Loki just gets visibly upset for a moment, but when Mobius himself gets pruned Loki CRIES and is fucked up about it to the point that even Sylvie picks up on it. So make of that what you will (I will make of that that Loki and Mobius are IN LOVE). 

3) Final point: people got REALLY IN THEIR FEELINGS about the scene where Loki tries to confess to Sylvie. And yeah at first glance, it is somewhat set up like a romantic scene - someone actually posted “what in the Y/N x Loki is this” and honestly I had to laugh at that one because I agree it kind of has that vibe, especially since he starts the whole thing off by saying he’s new to feeling the way he does. But based on everything we know about them and everything that happened up until that point of the episode, LOKI IS VERY MUCH NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR HER. His feelings for sure, but not necessarily romantic ones. He even has his hands on her shoulders - a gesture of affection, but not one that can be read as exclusively romantic. He’s just grabbing her attention, holding her there (since she does seem freaked out - maybe in her mind she thinks he’s about to confess his love, which is actually pretty funny). While there may be a misunderstanding on the part of the characters, I think the text itself makes it pretty clear that no, Loki is not in love with this woman. He ultimately just wants to tell her he cares about her and wants to stick with her through whatever happens; that they’ll make it through together. If you’re cynical you can be like “It was at the very least set up to LOOK romantic to bait the audience” and yeah, I see it too. That’s completely possible. Granted, instead of baiting people with a “OOO, what’s he gonna say?!”, it more so rubbed salt in the wounds of the people who have been queerbaited by TV shows in the past because all they could see was “Bi Man Falls for His Female Self Then Dies” which is bad so I can’t blame them for being upset. But given the context of the show it’s also very much not what happened. 

And hey, I’m just as affected by queerbaiting - I was a Magician’s fan for fuck’s sake. I know queerbaiting when I see it and as far as I’m concerned, if there’s any queerbaiting in this show, it is NOT coming from the interpretation of Loki literally wanting to fuck himself. We will be donning our clown wigs and big red noses for a different reason (that reason involving Disney being Disney). If you’re choosing to be optimistic about the possibility of Loki and Mobius getting together, I fucking commend you and hope you’re right. It would be really amazing and satisfying if they did. I’m not holding my breath, though. Sadly just because Loki x Sylvie won’t be a thing doesn’t mean Loki x Mobius will be, either.

Anyway, I hope this explanation helped to clear up the fact that no, Marvel is not advocating for selfcest and never was. This isn’t Johnny Test. I think it’s good to be critical of Disney and Marvel because they’re both very flawed, but that requires actually watching the content instead of making surface level assumptions based on what you saw at first glance, you know?

[twoforts]

A very gentle reminder that the tweets in that FNF post happened 2-3 years ago and the creator has apologized and refrained from stating such things since. It's incredibly disingenuous for people to attack other people for shitty jokes that they made in the past because they didn't have the foresight of what the jokes actually meant.

The fact that the person who found these tweets scrolled all the way down through 2-3 years of feed to find those posts I believe speaks more toward their character than anything else. It makes me think that they were actively looking for something to dig up on ninja_muffin to hold over their head.

Listen. I'm not saying that I support those jokes at all whatsoever. I'm simply saying that peoples' opinions and beliefs change over time, and if they have shown themselves willing and capable of changing, then they should be given some leeway.

If you don't want to support the game even after their apology, then that's fine. You're perfectly in your rights to do so. But the reality is that if you take a microscope onto any piece of media, you're going to find something that's problematic. I simply feel like it's unfair to jump on the bandwagon and villainize fans of a fandom because they like a product in spite of a creator's record of saying bad things 3 years ago.

ok. *handing you a clown wig and clown nose

i dont understand how making a game about killing black people or acting like a child predator is a joke but maybe we just have different definitions of humor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

what nonblack people and especially white people are willing to forgive for the sake of "ooooh silly rhythm game 🥺" is very telling.

like. idk. its pretty fucking clear that he only deleted them cause someone dug them up to remind people of what an asshole he is, and he didnt like the backlash, i dont know how obvious it has to be for people to get it?? but alright.

and like. yes of course be critical of the media you consume, im not asking people to stop interacting with or liking fnf. im saying that i do not want people who choose to continue engaging in that content to interact with me because it makes me as a black person deeply uncomfortable. i find it utterly disgusting and unforgivable, and id rather not interact with people who feel otherwise.

and in any case, i do not give a shit about his feelings and i think he should have been chased off the internet sooner 💘 racists do not deserve a platform. apologies are not entitled to forgiveness, and i have no sympathy for anyone willing to say things like that. if you give an inch they will take a mile.

sorry my black ass doesnt want to associate with racist apologists like you but actually no im not 💘 block me, asshole 💘 you genuinely disgust me

[artificialqueens]

Maybe You're My Enemy (Diamond Chaney) - Ortega

a/n: hey, hi, hello! welcome to the first canon compliant thing i have written since 2017, i am *~ petrified! ~* . i had to write something to fix these two though after the events of episode 8 because i just love them dearly (and the fact in the subsequent episode Lawrence just dropped in the fact they’d shared a bed didn’t help this at all). thank you so much to @purecamp for reading it over and reassuring me it’s not a heap of shit (so if it turns out that it is then just blame her xo). also the song it’s set to is enemy by Charli XCX in case u want to get the immersive vibes!

fic summary: On one side of Scotland, Lawrence disappears from social media. On the other, Ellie reflects.

***

They say, “Keep your friends close”

But you’re closer, I love when you’re here

I’m so far away sometimes, I’m distant, yeah

The sky is grey. The clouds are grey. The stagnant water of the quay is grey, and so’s the metal rail that Ellie’s holding on to as he narrows his eyes, tries to stop the wind from hitting them and making him tear up.

As if the wind would be the only reason.

He brings his gaze into focus on the HMS Unicorn, sat in the water in front of him like some massive whale that’s been planted in a bathtub. It’s a fucking ugly ship; a glorified tugboat on steroids with a big bowsprit sticking out at the front all out of place, but he likes the little bust of the once-white unicorn that sticks out from under it. Ellie remembers getting brought here for a school trip in Primary 3, pointing to the unicorn all excited and getting laughed at by the boys in his class that he knew were going to grow up to be the ones that gave the teachers lip and got suspended in high school.

He remembers that Bryce made up the fact that one of the boys had “said the f word” in the gift shop later that day, just so Ellie could have the satisfaction of watching them get screamed at by their teacher. Ellie still fucking loves him for that.

Ellie thinks the unicorn is out of place in all this grey. He remembers the time he did his unicorn mix when he opened for Willam, how nervous he’d been and messaging Lawrence about it and getting a “this you coming out to me as a furry?” in return which made him laugh and forget why he’d even been nervous in the first place. He can’t help the smile the memory brings to his face even if he wants to.

And he wants to.

Lawrence always could make him smile, get a laugh from him even when he didn’t feel like it. He remembers with a blow to his heart what Lawrence had said on the show- “you’re not terribly funny? Like you don’t have…zinger-y punchlines?” - and how Tia had laughed and Ellie had wanted so much to bite back but didn’t.

Because he always could draw a laugh out of Lawrence. Granted he was usually laughing at him rather than with him, but Ellie could still put a smile on his face by acting dumb, saying things that Lawrence would subsequently repeat in a screech of disbelief that would always make Ellie laugh harder anyway. He’d always self-impose ridiculous dares on himself in front of him: in Hive, “here, what if I did the entire shot rainbow?”, in Nandos, “d’you think I could do the wing roulette by myself?”, in Glasgow on the Subway on the way to a gig, “dare me to get off at Ibrox and I’ll go to the Louden Tavern dressed like this?”. Ellie had been used to being the class clown for Lawrence, the jester for the queen.

Or maybe just a fool.

Ellie’s always hated the colour grey.

You might help me, intimacy

I’ll admit, I’m scared

Maybe, maybe you can reach me, yeah

His surroundings turn to silver as he shoves his hands in his pockets, heads towards the V&A museum that’s still glinting despite the lack of sunlight. He’s stopped by two teenage girls that are polite and shy and squeaky-voiced as they ask for a photo- he supposes that’s what he gets when he goes out wearing the pink and purple fur coat with the hearts on it. Ellie forces a smile and thanks them for supporting him and they tell him he’s their favourite in return.

After they walk away he thinks they must have been lying, but then he feels the frown etch itself onto his face as he shakes his head. The self-doubt is a hangover from filming that he needs to shake off.

He squints at the museum as he walks past, fleetingly thinks about going in and looking at some of the old fashion to cheer him up. A’whora’s promised to go with him when he’s eventually allowed to come up to visit, and Ellie snorts at the idea of the fashion queen of the London scene in Dundee. The thought of A’whora’s reaction to the Wellgate shopping centre- the Credit Union, the B&M, the Jobcentre Plus- puts the first smile on his face he’s had in days.

Lawrence had gone round the museum with him too, when Ellie had dropped him off at the train station the day after a gig and they’d been killing time. It had been weird to just dick about like that together the first few times. Weird the fact there was no makeup, glue and wigs, no alcohol or gay anthems to yell over. Just two boys walking around a museum together. Like a date.

Ellie makes a face before he even realises. Not this.

The first time they did all of it together was weird. Just like everything Lawrence had written. Nandos, cinema, staying at his. That last one especially. Ellie can still remember the way he’d stared up at the bumpy ceiling from his position on Lawrence’s couch in the pitch dark, street lamps from outside casting shadows through the blinds. The room was too cold and the blanket was too small and he hadn’t slept a wink but he’d still do it all over again.

The first time they’d both lain on Lawrence’s bed the morning after the night before, cracking up at Scottish You Laugh You Lose compilations on Youtube and Ellie being unable to help the tears that streamed down his face at Lawrence imitating “big shoe, big shoeeee!”. The way they’d been close and the way their arms had touched and the way Ellie had felt ridiculous for the way his heart was hammering. Just a friend.

The first time they’d found each other under the dark lights of CCs when they’d both been through in Edinburgh to support Alice by chance. The way Ellie’s heart had lit up like a firework when he saw him. The way they’d laced their fingers together without even having to ask permission first, the way everything just seemed to be as simple as tequila rose shots and pink lights and leaning against the wall as they smoked outside.

The way everything else had just happened so easily.

Ellie squeezes his eyes shut before he can realise what he’s doing. The memories have forced their way in, kicked down a door in his head that he’d been sure he’d bolted shut.

He needs to change the locks.

Maybe you’re my enemy

Now I’ve finally let you come a little close to me,

Maybe you’re my enemy

You’re the only one who knows the way I’m really feelin’

Ellie is in the same Stitch onesie he’s been shrugging on since the last episode aired. It stinks. He’s joked to A'whora that he can probably smell him through the phone, and A'whora’s asked if he just sweats out Mango Loco Monster. Ellie makes some joke about wringing out his clothes into a pint glass if he did, which makes A'whora retch on camera.

He’s glad they made up at least. They didn’t have too much of a choice, to be fair. Apart from the way they get on so well, their bond and their friendship, A'whora’s the only other one who knows what it’s like to be in Ellie’s situation.

Except A'whora never stabbed Tayce in the back.

“You should talk to him,” A'whora insists, bringing the whole sorry situation up in a pause where Ellie must have looked as if he was about to make a vodka bleach mixer.

Ellie looks pointedly back at him through the screen. “I’ve been telling you to talk to Tayce for months.”

He watches A'whora pull an awkward face and he’s satisfied he’s hit a nerve. “That’s different though. You and Lawrence don’t live together.”

“Yeah. Least I wasn’t stupid enough to move in with someone I fancied, how’s that going for you?”

A'whora splutters a laugh that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. Ellie feels guilty all over again. He feels like that’s his default these days. “Sorry, chick, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, I mean. It’s fine. Just have to act as if I’m not in love with the bitch every time I’m around her, it’s not hard,” A'whora deadpans.

Ellie frowns. “You know Tayce feels the same. Everyone knows it.”

“No I don’t,” A'whora says instantly back to him, shaking his head and dissolving momentarily into pixels. “Besides, even if she did, like…it’s easier if she didn’t, y'know? All this…publicity, every move getting analysed. It’s easier to just…not.”

Ellie narrows his eyes. “You’re doing a smashing job making the case for me and Lawrence.”

“You know what I mean! You don’t get people asking where Lawrence is in every live you do. You don’t get people going through the show fucking…frame by frame and then editing every time you breathe around each other together and setting it to a bloody Little Mix song.”

Ellie bursts out laughing and starts singing Black Magic down the phone to him, which makes A'whora look pointedly at him before clearly being unable to hold it for long and instead laughing with him.

Both their laughter dies down and Ellie watches as A'whora smiles sadly, sincerely. “He’s worth the risk, Els.”

“Oh my God, prison. Who the fuck are you, Nicholas Sparks?”

The reference flies over A'whora's head and Ellie starts explaining the plot of the A Walk to Remember, steering the conversation out of the waters it had become marooned in, the captain of his very own HMS Unicorn.

He feels more like he’s aboard the Titanic with every message that goes unread.

Now it’s really clear to me

You could do a little damage, you could cut me deeper

“It didn’t get you a badge though, was it worth it?”

Ellie’s asked himself that every day since the episode aired. Since he made the decision, pretty much. Financially? Yes it was. It’s pretty well-known at this point in the grand scheme of Drag Race that with each week you’re on the likelihood of securing more bookings is increased, and now with his slot at Drag Fest he feels as if he’s hit the jackpot.

Everything else? Not so much.

Ellie still feels his stomach drop if he thinks enough about that untucked, which he does all the time. Too much, in fact. The aggression in Lawrence’s voice which Ellie knew all too well was a manifestation of hurt on so many levels. The way Lawrence chose the conflict that Ellie wished he could have avoided. The way Lawrence left his feelings bare while Ellie couldn’t trust himself to do the same in case he said something he might regret.

The fact Lawrence had thought Ellie had set him up to fail was maybe what hurt the most, though. Ellie had wanted to ask him how he thought he’d be able to do that after everything they’d been through together. He’d tried to tell him he didn’t think it was possible for him to fail at something he shines at. He’d wanted to grab Lawrence’s pink fucking headpiece and bash him over the head with it until he realised that he’s Lawrence fucking Chaney, he is the Scottish drag queen. Lawrence is the one who will say something at a gig one week and it’ll be common drag parlance across the country by the next. Lawrence is the one getting booked by the BBC Social to make educational videos. Lawrence is the one on posters across Glasgow, for fuck’s sake.

Ellie might not have been thinking about the worst case scenario in that moment, but only because he genuinely didn’t think there could be one.

After all, he’d had his opportunity to sabotage Lawrence. Ellie remembers the first day when the producers had wanted to set up the Scottish queen rivalry, asked for something shady they could use as a soundbite. The way he’d sought out Lawrence on a smoke break and told him about the situation and reassured him that he hadn’t given them anything, and the way Lawrence had just smiled back at him, softly and genuinely, and told Ellie he’d done the same. The way they’d minutely linked pinkies together before breaking them and walking back inside as if they’d barely shared so much as a glance, neither of them wanting to draw any suspicion their way.

And he could’ve been harsher in that untucked if he’d wanted. Could’ve said how for someone that was meant to care so much about friendship and sisterhood, Lawrence had been doing a great job shitting on him from a great height about his lack of challenge wins and his run on the show.  

But he didn’t, because…well. He knows why.

Because the knowledge that he’d hurt Lawrence and lost his trust had done more damage than any joke Lawrence made at his expense could ever do.

Ellie goes live on the Tuesday afternoon. A comment on the chat reads, “are u A’whora and Lawrence still friends???”

“Yeah, me and A’whora are still friends!” Ellie bats the comment away with a fake smile.

He’ll blame his lack of comprehension skills if he’s asked about it.

I feel guilty, I feel nervous, I feel certain now

Maybe, maybe you can reach me

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it.

Maybe it’s when he wakes up on Friday and Lawrence’s Twitter isn’t loading. Maybe it’s when he reads the other Scottish girls condemning the fans, the word fatphobia leaping out, grabbing Ellie’s heart and wrenching it tight.

Surely not this?

Ellie searches Twitter and what he finds makes him feel ill. He doesn’t know what he had expected- he’d known the frantic tweet urging the fans to be kind that he’d typed out before he went to sleep hadn’t exactly been going to create world peace overnight- but he hadn’t expected any of this. Everyone loves Lawrence, surely.

Although perhaps he’s just talking from experience.

Maybe it’s when he shoots Lawrence a message that goes unopened. In all honesty Ellie doesn’t blame him. A flimsy sentiment about hoping he’s okay that clocks in at under 250 characters isn’t going to cut it, and he’s grateful when Bimini, with all their empathy and ability to read a situation as clear as day, texts him and tells him that Lawrence has replied to them and he’s…well, he’s managing.

Maybe it’s when Ellie goes live with A’whora and he manages to mention Lawrence entirely too many times. A cry for attention or an old habit that’s dying hard? He can’t tell. Perhaps it’s both.

It’s definitely got something to do with the Facebook post.

Whatever it is, Ellie finds himself stuffing any old random items of clothing in a backpack and hoping it makes an outfit, shoving the spare key into the soil of the plant pot outside his front door and texting Anne to tell her where it is in case…fuck knows, the flat goes on fire while he’s away or something. He looks up the train times as he’s on his way to the station; a terrible decision, really, as when he’s still fifteen minutes away he discovers there’s one in ten. Somehow he manages to make it to the station with just a minute to spare and his heart lifts to find that the ticket barriers are open, so he dashes through them and hurtles onto the train that’s waiting at the platform. He catches his breath as he slumps into a table seat, having to take his mask off for a couple of seconds just so he can breathe properly. The way his heart is going at the rate the train’s about to isn’t helping.

The chimes of the train announcement cut through his attempts at slowing his heart down, and the little robotic woman’s voice confirms that his ridiculous, spur-of-the-moment decision is actually happening.

“This is Dundee. This train is for Glasgow Queen Street.”

Because this is all so last minute, but he needs to see Lawrence. He’s apologised probably ten times by now but he knows he needs to make it eleven. He knows (he hopes) that Lawrence needs that eleventh time too. He knows that Lawrence needs Ellie’s persistence, knows that it’s all just an attempt at self-preservation. Lawrence’s attempts at shutting Ellie out are just inviting him to bring a battering ram. At least, he hopes. But like A’whora had said…he’s worth the risk.

The train starts moving, and even if he wanted to back out now he couldn’t.

So cold at the surface, I’m scared of nothin’

Underneath, I’m nervous

Can you reach me?  

Ellie waits for the subway at Buchanan Street and his glazed-over eyes focus on a massive poster of Lawrence on the platform opposite. He briefly considers throwing himself under the next train.

The journey down had passed somehow in the blink of an eye and also agonisingly slowly. Too much time to sit and stare out of the window but not enough time to figure out what he’s going to say. He still doesn’t know. He’d said it all those months ago, he’s said it through texts and DMs. This time feels different, though. This time is different. This time there’s no cameras or runners or pink tables, or distance between them or tension at the fact nothing had aired yet.

It’s going to be the pair of them and Lawrence’s flat. Just like it’s been so many times before.

Ellie thinks he’ll probably just open his mouth, say whatever gets there first and hope it hits the right notes; a terrible decision arrived upon as a result of the lack of any other option. His mind is a messed up ball of television static, a knotted yarn of white noise that he can’t find the end of. He feels as if it’s made of the noise the train makes as it screams into the station, metal on metal and the low whoosh of the wind through the tunnel and the rickety shaking of the doors as they slide open and people stream off.

He picks up his bag and sinks down into the horrifically patterned upholstery of the seats, settling himself in for the journey. The little metal tin can of a train doesn’t take long to fire through the seven stops before Govan and with each one that passes Ellie can feel his nerves spiking and his mouth growing dry.

What if Lawrence isn’t even in? What if it’s all got too much and he’s gone back to Helensburgh for the foreseeable? Ellie could get a train up there, he supposes; he’s already on this side of the country, although he doesn’t know if Lawrence would appreciate the gesture or call the police on him.

Ellie concludes it would be worth it anyway.

He emerges from the Subway and the grey seems to hit him all over again, seeping into his clothes and forcing him to fight through the sadness that hits him like a wave. There’s a little beam of sunshine fighting to escape the clouds though, and Ellie hopes it’s some form of pathetic fallacy. Or whatever that one about the weather matching your feelings was. Fucked if he ever paid attention in Nat 5 English.

The streets of red brick tenements feel like pens of hostility as he passes windows that serve as frames for Union Jacks and Red Hand of Ulster flags. Even being raised in a Christian household doesn’t equip him to identify with this form of religion; where the disciples are football players and the gods are flags and the hymns are about killing Catholics. Ellie has always worried about Lawrence living here, told him as much, but he’s always been met with a bark of a laugh back and some comment about how he’s only saying that because he’s lived such a sheltered little life in Dundee and wouldn’t last five minutes trying to inhabit Glasgow and all its cheerful sectarianism. Lawrence has always had a very blythe attitude to the whole thing, and Ellie remembers when he’d held his hand on the way back from the Subway in full drag after a gig like it was nothing, the way some dick in an orange and blue scarf had shouted at them from across the street and Lawrence had just yelled back with an “awrite, babes?” as if he had a death wish.

Which is what makes this whole thing so grim. The Lawrence who drunkenly and sarcastically greets bigots at three in the morning from across the street doesn’t marry up with the Lawrence that’s holed up in his flat in the face of negativity. Ellie supposes that one homophobic Rangers fan is one homophobic Rangers fan, but Twitter can seem like the whole world’s population, and if Lawrence thinks the world hates him just because he’s reacted to something that was Ellie’s fault…

He feels his gut wrench.

Ellie turns into Lawrence’s street and feels ill. He could always go home. Turn and walk back to the Subway, train back to Queen Street, back to Dundee, back to the flat. Like nothing had ever happened. Like he hadn’t even consciously made the decision, like it was all a dream.

He sleepwalks to Lawrence’s close door anyway, just like he knew he would.

His hand shakes as he presses the buzzer too hard, and the panic rises in his throat as the seconds pass agonisingly slowly. When there’s a crackle from the intercom, he freezes in fear.

“Hello?”

It’s Kiko’s voice. Of course his flatmate had to be the one to answer, drag out the humiliation of the whole thing. Ellie can hear the shake to his voice as he replies.

“Hey, it’s Ellie.”

“…Ellie?”

He chooses to ignore the disbelief, acts as if it’s normal for him to have travelled across the country to turn up on Lawrence’s doorstep in the middle of a pandemic when there’s a travel ban in place. He’s considering this essential travel anyway.

“Is Lawrence in at all?”

Kiko, for her part, seems to pick up on the way the whole visit is masquerading as routine. In the split second before she replies, Ellie finds himself holding his breath. He steels himself, prepares for a “no, he’s actually…”, to send him back to Dundee like a crumpled sheet of paper tossed into a bin.

So Ellie feels like his throat’s going to close up when Kiko replies down the intercom. “Yeah, two secs. I’ll buzz you up.”

The dread settles in his gut like a weight as the buzzer rings out into the street, harsh and loud and doing nothing for Ellie’s derailed train of thought. He pushes on the door, takes his first step into the close and the echo seems to hit him deep in his chest. He finds himself wishing Lawrence lives four up but he’s only on the first floor, and as Ellie puts his foot on the first step of the staircase he keeps his eyes trained on the stairs because he knows the moment he looks up he’s going to see somebody standing there holding the door open and even though he’s had hours to prepare himself, weeks even, he’s not ready for that in the slightest.

And when he finally brings his gaze onto the front door with four steps to go, he’s not ready for the way the sight of Lawrence almost knocks him straight back down again. He’s slumped against the doorframe and has very clearly not slept- since when, Ellie couldn’t guess. A black hoodie is swamping him and a pair of navy sweatpants are doing the same, making him seem smaller than he already is. The sight of his hair up in that tiny bun hurts Ellie’s heart because it makes him want to smile, reminds him of the Lawrence he’d dick about in the workroom and the smoking area and the hotel corridors with before it all went so wrong. His arms are folded and he’s looking at the tiles on the landing floor until Ellie reaches the doorway, shifts awkwardly.

“Hi.”

Lawrence doesn’t quite meet his eyes. It’s a minute detail that hurts Ellie more than he would have expected. He doesn’t reply for a second, then seems to relent. “Hey.”

Another pause. The atmosphere makes Ellie wish he’d worn a thicker jacket.

“You’re not meant to be here, you know. Wee Nicky’s probably had snipers trained on you since you got off the train,” Lawrence says, delivering the quip with a bitter, barbed edge that makes Ellie think it’s less of a joke and more wishful thinking.

“Wouldn’t be any less than I deserve, I’m sure,” Ellie smiles sadly, unable to make it meet his eyes. Lawrence’s expression remains unimpressed.

“So why are you here, then,” he not so much as demands an answer but disinterestedly inquires. Ellie bites his bottom lip before he replies, as if he’s forcing himself to make sure his words are perfect.

“I just came down because…well, I wanted to see how you were. I know the past week must have been shit for you.”

Lawrence raises his eyebrows, his eyes growing wide as if to really drive home to Ellie how much of an understatement he already knows he’s made. “Yeah.”

Ellie sighs, wanting desperately to get the next part right. “And I felt like I needed to say I’m sorry. Y’know, in front of you.”

“You said sorry back when we filmed. We’re over it, it’s fine,” Lawrence says flatly, conveying that everything is not fine.

“It’s not fine, though. I wouldn’t have come down if it was fine. Things haven’t been fine since that day, and like…I miss you, Lawrence, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, or as a sister, or as…” Ellie stumbles, looking to the floor as he tries to articulate the other facet of their relationship. “…whatever else we are. Whatever else we were. I’m sorry for fucking everything up.”

There’s a silence in which the pair of them freeze and hold their breath. Time could very well be standing still for all Ellie knows. He immediately regrets bringing up all of…that. He should’ve kept it to friendship, shouldn’t have added anything on. Before he can overthink any more or begin to backtrack, a small sigh from Lawrence makes him look up.

“I thought you hated me,” he says. His voice is small and the words are unexpected. There’s so much Ellie could say in response. He settles on a joke.

“No, I think you’re a cunt. There’s a difference,” Ellie smiles tightly, the joke tentative. The snort it gets from Lawrence makes his smile grow without him being able to help it. “Was that a good one? Thought I was the unfunniest person on the planet?”

“We weren’t talking about your Bake Off improv,” Lawrence raises his eyebrows as he smirks, and Ellie fakes a wounded laugh.

“Shady cow.”

“I’m sorry,” Lawrence says out of nowhere, his smile gone all of a sudden.

Ellie tries to drag the joke out a little longer, hold onto the sparks they’ve just created. “Nah, it was shit, you’re right.”

“No, Ellie…” Lawrence shakes his head, worrying his lip between his teeth a little. “I am sorry.”

Ellie feels the panic wash over him when he clocks the glisten in his eyes. “It’s fine, girl.”

“It’s not fine. I was a dick to you so many times, no fuckin’ wonder I thought you’d set me up. I would too if I had somebody talking down to me like I did to you,” Lawrence says gravely. His gaze is fixed on his floor and just as Ellie is about to speak he catches sight of two tears that fall onto the red carpet, the darkness akin to blood. His horror grows as Lawrence finally snaps his head up, tears shining in his eyes as he sighs helplessly in a shaky voice. “You’re amazing, Ellie, you’re such a talent, and…fuck, I missed you.”

His words mean more to him that Ellie had expected them to. He doesn’t want to let that show, though, because that’s too much, that means too much for the situation just now and he can deal with that realisation at a later date. For now, Ellie points at him in mock-accusation. “Hey listen, I’m the one that got the train down to come and make a big speech to you and say sorry. Buy your own damn train ticket for that.”

Lawrence’s voice is thick with tears as he lets out a short laugh. “Sorry.”

“Wee bitch. Always have to make everything about you,” Ellie rolls his eyes, getting another teary laugh out of Lawrence and raising his hopes that maybe they’ll be okay.

And then the banks break and Lawrence makes a little choked-up noise, a sob that’s not fully a sob. His eyes meet Ellie’s and they’re full of so much sadness and regret that just looking at them creates a crack in Ellie’s heart, one that matches the crack in Lawrence’s voice as he speaks again.

“This has all been shit to do without you.”

Ellie doesn’t think before opening his arms out, shaking his head affectionately. “Don’t be silly. C’mere.”

When Lawrence immediately opens out his own and they meet each other in the middle and hug tightly, Ellie feels like a balloon that’s been let go and is floating up to the sky.

The clouds aren’t grey.

The way they’re holding each other brings back too many memories. Seeing each other at gigs and feeling butterflies take hold of his stomach. Coming off stage after a number and conveying his pride in him without even having to say a word. Saying goodbye at train stations with disappointment lodging itself in his heart. All the nostalgia makes Ellie want to cry, but he can’t start now. Instead, he breaths a shaky sigh, shakes his head before he speaks.

“You’ve always had me, okay? You’ve always got me. We’ve said sorry now, that’s the end of it. Periodt,” Ellie murmurs against his shoulder, adding on his trademark at the end. The laugh he gets muffled against his chest in return makes him feel lighter.

“I’ve not showered. I definitely stink. You don’t have to keep hugging me, you know.”

“You don’t. I want to,” Ellie says back. He means it.

It’s Lawrence that slides out of the hug first but he’s still standing close as he quickly wipes away his tears, looks Ellie up and down with a smirk on his face. “So where’s your Travelodge, hen?”

Ellie’s sheepish when he makes eye contact with him again, shrugs one strap of the rucksack off before replying. “You know damn well I’ve not booked anywhere.”

“Fuckin’ hell. Right, come on,” Lawrence shakes his head affectionately, stepping back into his hallway and letting Ellie finally cross the threshold to drop his bag like an anchor in the flat. It’s the physical manifestation of the burden finally being lifted off of him, the guilt and the regret melting away in favour of the flutter of his heart and a few small sparks that he wants to put in resin. “I get to choose the film later as reparations. Don’t trust you since you made us watch Cat In The Hat.”

Ellie gives a shocked gasp, genuinely offended. “It’s good!”

“Is it fuck. In fact, just for that I’m going to make you sit through something sci-fi and geeky and you’re gonna hate it,” Lawrence smiles with genuine glee, and Ellie can’t even bring himself to be mad about it. As the pair of them walk through to the living room, Lawrence jumps onto the sofa and fixes Ellie with a look that is clearly meant to be serious but that simultaneously Lawrence can’t commit to and Ellie can’t believe. “You’re sleeping here tonight, by the way.”

Ellie raises his eyebrows as he fakes his agreement, going along with the charade Lawrence is beginning. They both know they’ll end up curled up together on the sofa with neither of them having an explanation for how it’s happened, but at the same time knowing they don’t have to explain themselves. They know that Ellie will end up falling asleep slumped against Lawrence and that he’ll have to gently shake him awake, that he’ll wordlessly offer Ellie a hand to drag him off the couch with and that they’ll go through to Lawrence’s room like always. They know that they’ll wake up tangled together like the sheets and that Ellie will be there for him, that he’ll help Lawrence piece himself back together and they’ll go back to the start. Well, maybe not the start. Perhaps somewhere better.

Ellie keeps his friends close, but Lawrence is something a little bit more. Something a little bit closer.

Baby, you’re my enemy.

[flowerpowell]

I've been thinking lately (which might not have been the best idea considering I'm prone to overthinking lol) and I wanted to write this little "blog update" PSA as I believe the last one is no longer valid.

About a year ago, I wrote a post where I said I was leaving tumblr as I didnt enjoy being on here anymore and also because I stopped playing choices and didnt see a point. I'm not going to put my clown wig on just yet because I'm not technically coming back (I still dont play choices and I don't think I will, of course, unless PB decides to give me a TF special because yes, I still love Chris) but also I'm not technically leaving. To make it clear:

I've decided to make this blog my personal one (I probably wont be super active or anything but instead of choices content there might be some random posts and reblogs so just a heads up) because sometimes you just gotta scream into the void, you know? And tumblr feels good for doing that. So yeah, no choices content, just me (well, plus maybe these 4883858483 choices fanfic series that I started and hope to finish one day).

I'm writing this to "warn" you so that you can unfollow me since I'm not a choices blog anymore. I won't spam your dashes anyway but just in case my personal stuff is not your cup of tea, you can unfollow me. I wont unfollow anyone just because I dont mind seeing choices posts. And because I love my mutuals.

So, TL;DR, this blog will be my personal/main one from now one and I just wanted to give you all a heads up. I know I dont have to explain myself haha but I just wanted to say that in case someone sees a random post from me and be like “flowerpowell? ew, i thought she left tumblr!” 😂

Wow, this post is WAY too long. If you're still reading this, thank YOU! and if you decide you still want to follow me, THANK YOU and ily. Honestly, the people I met here are the reason it is so hard to leave.

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for sticking with me for so long! ❤

[hufflepuffdean]

alright so like. I just rewrote 15.20 in my head following most of the episode parameters and it’s amazing how much better it makes me feel? I do have an idea for a fully canon-compliant fic and I do feel a bit better about the finale than I think most do, but I wanted to barf this out lol. it’s not COVID-compliant, but again, it does fit what the ep was trying to do I think. I’m trying not to be like a Polyanna asshole or whatever because I’m seeing people be condescending as fuck but writing this out works for me so I hope this works for someone else?

the ep can still open with the montage and definitely still include Miracle. but make it clear way more time is passing. like, a matter of years. at least five. we can see Sam and Dean on various hunts but also them doing some normie things. Sam in a Zoom class (no, COVID doesn’t exist here, he just is busy lol) and Dean working at a bar. it’s clear they’re happy. and again, it’s clear it’s been several years.

I’m ngl I’m not super married (no pun intended) to Sam/Eileen like a lot of D/C fandom but it’s been established and it does work easily within the show without having to be like Awkward New Romance. so she’s there too sometimes. 

there’s definitely a part where both Sam and Dean are looking through pictures of those they’ve lost. Dean can like look at a picture of Cas and say... thank you, I won’t waste it, looking at the picture. I feel like people would be pissed he’s not looking for Cas but again, I’m not totally changing the structure here to make the episode #actually a Cas rescue, and it would be hopefully clear why he’s not looking, that he missed him but thought it was what Cas would have wanted in his sacrifice. plus there’s a payoff at the end here.

eventually someone shows up with the uh, vampire juggalo case where they haven’t been able to save all the kids. I do not want them to be clowns and it is my version so they are not. anyway Sam and Dean go off on that hunt.

the barn scene... okay well first there’s no Jenny because dude I am obsessed with this show and have watched S1 at least four times and I love every minor character and I had no idea who she was until the flashbacks and also she didn’t even do anything wtf was that. 

mostly I fucking hate that Dean has to die at all! but again, we’re sticking to the episode’s basic structure, just kinda cleaning shit up. sooo I guess the thing here is - Dean’s death needs more agency. maybe Sam and the kids are directly being threatened somehow and he makes the choice to jump in and save them even if it costs his life. this is the one specific bit I can’t really nail down (HA) so if you have any ideas feel free to send ‘em along. I feel better about it if Dean at least got some significant time to himself to live.

the goodbye can stay. it was well done, and I think both Jensen and Jared did a great job. I think things like “Sam should have tried to call 911, while in the middle of Bumfucknowhere Ohio″ or “Sam should have tried to pray to Jack, who already said he’s staying out of things” take away from the power of the scene.

you can have the montage of Sam mourning. it’s a while before he calls Eileen or anyone else, since he’s so devastated. when he does have Dean’s funeral, like, everyone who’s still alive is there. Eileen, the Wayward girls, Garth, anyone I’m forgetting. fuck it, Alice! the Lebanon kids! even random strangers, to show what Dean meant! at some point Sam should give the bunker keys to Claire too.

at the end Rowena shows up. Sam is devastated to see her, saying he can’t do a deal. Rowena just says she was there to pay respects... and tells him that Dean is not one of hers. Sam just kinda lights up.

now you can do the thing where it jump-cuts to Heaven. the scene with Bobby is good. I may write a post later about how Jack and Cas redoing Heaven is like the thing that makes the finale alright to me, but definitely keep that. the change here is that Dean does go into the Roadhouse, and it’s full of like every goddamn dead character we love tbh. Charlie, Mary, Rufus, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Victor, Kevin, Pamela, etc. Those are just characters I thought of off the top of my head lol. No John Winchesters Allowed but everyone else. also no Cas yet but don’t worry he’ll be there in a bit. 

you can start the Carry On montage here but dear god don’t play that cover version.

on Earth, we see Sam and Eileen living. they have a daughter, thanks, though her name is still Dean. (I’ve realized I hate the “naming a child after a beloved dead relative” trope, but we’re clearly doing that so it’s okay.) maybe even make it so that they adopt one of the kids they saved in the barn. Eileen has like actual lines, whether she’s talking to Sam about how much he misses Dean and how it’s hard without him but he’s going to live for him, or whether she’s talking with Sam to Dean about how there are monsters and bad things in the night and sometimes mom and dad used to deal with them, but not any more. but they’ll still be careful. (the anti-possession tattoo can stay and salted windows and all that.)

Dean gets in the Impala in Heaven and you just hear “hello Dean” on the radio. it’s Cas, obviously. Dean does one of those killer smiles. they have a convo about the rebuilding of Heaven, and how everyone here, it’s Dean (and Sam) who brought them this kind of happiness. Dean’s like, Cas it was you too, of course it was you Cas. that can be it, orrrrr if the network would allow you to go farther, Dean can say, like. ugh I can’t put it into words right now but something that makes it clear he reciprocates. fuck it, have an “I love you too,” I’M mentally writing this lmao 

the rest of the montage can proceed like normal-ish I think? I actually did really like it when Sam was “driving” the Impala at the same time Dean was driving it in Heaven. just please god get a better wig. also I do not think Sam’s only pictures on the mantle should be of like, Dean and John lol.

Dean’s tending bar in Heaven with the whole group there when he suddenly is like... oh... I think I have to take care of something. everyone knows and is thrilled for him. Cas comes along. (honestly this one’s optional in my mind, I think that scene at the end was really good as is, but I want a TFW reunion, sue me.)

bridge scene plays out, only Cas is there too and there’s a lot of hugging all around. fuck it put Miracle on the bridge too he’s an icon.

theeeee end. oh and no two seconds later cut to the actors out of character but still in costumes and the crew not in masks during a respiratory pandemic, please, it was very thoughtful for the fans and the crew deserves love I get it but also but really weird lol