#that's how the brain learn it's not a chore and is able to do it more readily and agreeably the next time

[machidielontheway]

so i "did nothing" today of what i had planned (groceries, 'mental health walk') but i also : - did the laundry - put away the dry cloth of the previous laundry run - waxed (which i wanted to do yesterday so i'm glad i did it now) - practiced my instrument (twas not great as it was a bit mindless, but i finally found the source of one recent sound problem) - washed my hair - did a little callisthenics - downloaded some songs to begin making a collection - learned that even if i'm not feeling it, putting the right song WILL give me the energy necessary to do the thing. i do not need to want to hear the sound for it to work.

so even if i didn't do a "specific activity" outside i still did things and that's good !

[kiwismitten]

Tired words | Wriothesley x GN!reader

Angst/comfort: Being the frontlines for the whole country’s fate can really make a man lose sleep. After the events that took place, and the sudden return of his lover he’s very snippy.

spoilers: main fontaine archon quest!

CW: yelling , reader almost ded , wriothesley kinda ooc (let me know if i missed anything!)

words: 1751

The halls of the Fortress of Meropide have never felt colder as you make your way to your boyfriend’s office. The events of the days before fresh in everyone’s mind. The incident in Poisson only a few days before your return.

You were on an academic trip to Sumeru, learning about the herbal medicines and picking up some fruits and herbs to bring back to Fontaine. As soon as the steam bird articles showed up at your host home’s door the night of the incident, you apologized and began packing your bags. You’ve never moved with such haste. Of course you know about the prophecy, and Wriothesley had told you before he didn’t even know if he was Fontainian and joked a ton about getting turned into water alongside everyone else. You personally, just weren’t willing to let him take that chance.

The rushed trip back still felt like it took twice as long as the venture there. Jogging through the city with your bag still on your back, listening to depressing conversations from the other citizens about their impending fate. Frantically, you reach the Fortress entrance, and make your way down.

That’s how you ended up standing outside your boyfriend’s office, anxiety coursing through your body. Even the fortress was in disarray. Your soft knocks on the door earn no response, so you slowly push the heavy doors open with a loud creek.

“Darling?” Your voice echos through the bottom floor, your eyes gazing over everything before landing on the strange staircase going further down that you never noticed before.You drop your bags at the door before cautiously venturing down. “Wriothesley?”

A strong hand grabs your shoulder from behind you making you gasp.

“What are you doing?” He looks exhausted, his tone of voice far from the playful, carefree Wriothesley you’ve grown attached to. Sounding closer to how he addresses inmates. Heat fills your torso with joy, seeing he’s okay, and you fling yourself at him wrapping your arms around him.

“You’re okay…” His normal scowl doesn’t leave his face. Different again since his face normally softens at your contact.

“Yes, yes I’m okay what are you doing here.” He says the bags under his eyes more pronounced than normal, sparking worry in your brain.

“I heard what happened in Poisson, and I left early,” You stood in front of him staring up at his towering figure. He sighs, wiping his face with his wrapped hand. His exhaustion seemed to be weighing on him harder at your statement.

“Why.. did you have to come back now?” he pinched the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and thumb. Your joy falters at his display.

“What do you mean darling..” Your arms fall to your sides. He stares at your form, his eyes piercing through you.

“I mean I thought with you away I'd have one less thing to worry about,” Venom laces his words. “Especially coming to the fortress during times like this, I thought I’d finally be able to focus on the prophecy, but now with you here you’ll need me to be with you so often.” Your heart jumps to your throat. He’s never been so cold to you. Has he always seen being with you as a chore, or is it just the high stress of the current situation. The emotions thick in the air make it difficult to think rationally. The salty air filling your lungs feels heavy and overwhelming.

“I’ll get out of the way.. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Glancing down at your feet.

“Well I am. Now please, I have very important matters to get to.” He pushes past you mumbling under his breath. Stunned in silence, soft tears well in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. Slowly, you made your way out of the fortress to stay at a small hotel.

You stayed at the hotel for the night, before the news of an archon going on trial reaches you in the morning. News travels fast in Fontaine, especially when there’s always a journalist creeping in the background. Deciding that staying and rotting in a hotel isn’t how you want to spend your first full day home, and you take a short stroll through the bustling streets. It’s as if no one really minds their impending fate. After reaching the opera epiclese you sit at one of the benches by the fountain. Staring into the water you smile remembering all the times you and Wriothesley sat at the near by benches eating together after his work. How you would lean your head on his shoulder listening to the soft roar of water as it cycles through, but if you were to melt into the sea now, it would be knowing that he brushed you away for being worried about him. A sigh escapes your lips as you continue your stroll, and eventually it gets interrupted by a crowd of people trickling out of the opera house. Gossiping amongst themselves about the archon, and not even batting an eye at the soft patter of rain on pavement.

The rain starts to pick up at an alarming rate, making people rush off under trees, and any form of cover they could find. A somber look rises to your face. “Is this it?” You take a seat on your normal bench, getting soaked in the pelting rain feeling the rain pool at your feet closing your eyes and letting the joyful memories flow through you.

All you really remember is the feeling of water picking you up. Floating through with a peaceful look on your face.Then a graceful arm wrapping around you and bringing you up, and you were suddenly in the air able to breath once again before everything went black.

Waking up in the fortress is never really a heart-warming experience. Especially when it’s in the cold clinical setting of the infirmary. The blurry metallic ceiling is the first thing you see, the bronze color only familiar to the fortress, so you’re immediately aware of where you are. You try to sit up, only to get pushed down by the smaller head nurse.

“Y/N be careful please, you’ve been out for a whole day you’re still healing.” Sigewinne frets over you holding her sticker covered clipboard.

“I feel fine,” You sit up in your bed, feeling the exhaustion hit you. You look around the other beds full of inmates. “I just need some food in me, and I’ll be right as rain.” a smile sheepishly crosses your face at the small joke. Sigewinne frowns and huffs as you pick at the various vital trackers attached to you. She helps a bit and takes out your IV.

“Just like his grace said you would,” you tense at the mention of him forcing a smile. “Just stay here he said to grab him as soon as you’re awake.” Eyes widening, you wait for her to leave before pulling the sheets off of yourself and rushing out of the infirmary. Your vision still blurry from the lack of food. Rushing through the halls, you stop at the canteen, smiling at Bran who waves you over.

“Ah y/n here for your welfare meal?” He smiles softly at your tired form before turning behind him to grab one of the nicer meals. “Courtesy of his grace, eat up.” You slip behind one of the many boxes before sitting on the floor and opening the delicious meal.

Wriothesley walks ahead of Sigewinne his heavy steps unmistakable. When he reaches the infirmary and sees your bed empty he curses under his breath. Sigewinne sighs pouting.

“I did ask her to stay your grace, but they did act weird when I mentioned I was fetching you,” Irritated he walks out, going immediately to the gardes who rat you out immediately.

Too immersed in your delicious food you don’t even notice the heavy steps approaching the canteen.

“What can I do for you your grace,” You stop mid-chew peeking out from the top of the box.

“Have you seen y/n I’m looking for them,” his voice has the carefree energy that you missed so much. His eyes dart around the canteen before meeting yours behind the box where you duck under again. “Ah, never mind, bran.” his heavy steps approach the box, his shadow looming over as you pop back up looking at your hands. He places a heavy hand on your head.

“Wriothesley,” you say breathlessly, tears threatening to fall again. At the break of your voice, he scoops you into his arms his long strides carrying you to his office. He wraps his arms around you as you feel small water droplets fall onto your clothes.

“y/n..” his voice cracks. You’ve never seen him break down like this, he’s the strong one, the one that never lets his strength falter. “I was so scared, i’m so sorry, I should’ve never said any of that shit to you, I was so stressed out after the fortress almost collapsed to the prophecy. I wasn’t getting enough sleep I was exhausted and I took it out on you. I’m so fucking sorry.” Seeing him crumble on top of you was heart-wrenching. His rambling spilling through his lips as his eyes dart across your face. “When Clorinde brought you onto the ship I just wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, I tried everything but you felt so cold..” He buries his face in your neck.

“I’m okay Wrio, I don’t know what happened but, I’m here I’m fine,” You wrap your arms loosely around his torso. “Honestly I thought I was gonna die with you angry at me, but now I’m here. Getting pushed away hurt, but we’re both okay,” You mumble into his chest.

“I’ll never speak to you like that again, I don’t think I could ever live with myself knowing you left this world with me angry at you when I had no right to be. All you wanted was to make sure I was okay,” He pulls away and holds your face in his hands. “You’re my whole world and I should’ve held that in the front of my mind this whole time. I don’t think I can say sorry enough my love.” His sharp eyes now soft as he leans in to place a soft caring kiss on your lips.

“We’ll be okay,” you melt into his touch, letting him hold you close

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao’nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn’t my first language

Author’s note: it my first Avatar writing, so I hope you like it! This idea was spontaneous and I’m not really good at writing, but I hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m still learning how to use Tumblr properly since I don’t really use it 🥲

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

You thought that all these days when you flew to the water clans were the hardest in you life. Little did you know that life with Metkayina would be harder. You expected to finally live a normal life, doing your chores without being sacred to be shot by sky people. Now you’re safe, but things didn’t get better.

Since your arrival, these boys were bullying all your siblings, including you. You have no idea why it is important for Ao’nung to see totally similar to him Na’vis. You all are same avatars with slight differences that were unavoidable due to the environment you’re supposed to live in. Oh, yeah… supposed to live.

“What are you even doing here?”

“You’re so useless to our tribe”

“Go back to your monkey house”

All these words almost engraved in you mind without leaving space for other thoughts and hope. It’s been two weeks since you arrived and you still haven’t ridden an Ilu successfully, you can’t hold your breath as Metkayinas do. This makes you feel horrible and believe all these mean words.

“C’mon, Y/N, you can do it!”

Neteyam is trying to teach you how to deal with ilu and his voice is so calming, he really believes in you as an older brother. You wish you could just believe him, but insecurity lays too deep and securely in your mind.

“I don’t know… I can’t…”

Your voice was really soft and quiet as you’re the calmest child in your family. You don’t like loud sounds and fast actions. That’s just the way you are. Neytiri says that Sylwanin was just like you.

Despite being slower and more sensitive that other Sullys they loved and protected you with all their heart. Jake knew that Kiri and Tuk are different, they can deal with their problems a lot easier, while you cannot. When something bad to your family or yourself happens, you worry a lot and you won’t tell anyone about your worries unless they make you to. That was the hardest part of you character.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need to take a break? We can continue tomorrow, don’t worry yawntutsyip.”

Neteyam was worried about your mental state, you were too quiet these days and it never meant anything good. Trying to make you speak about your feelings was completely impossible. You always think that your family has too much to worry about to burden them with your own issues. You want to be like Kiri and Tuk. That’s hilarious, Tuk is way younger than you but she’s able to deal with her emotions way easier than you.

“I’m good. Can we just take a break for like half an hour? I think my brain melts.”

You awkwardly smiled at the end trying to lighten the mood. Neteyam smiled back, feeling relief as you seemed to be just tired. He didn’t want you to hide anything from him and your family.

“Okay, yawntutsyip. I’ll go find Lo’ak and make sure his ass hadn’t get in trouble again. Kiri is on that side of the beach by the way. You can join her, she’s probably flirting with plants again. Let’s meet here in an hour.”

You laughed at his little joke about Kiri. But that’s a fact. Since you arrived here all she’s been doing is examining all local flora and fauna. You missed your time together in the forest, maybe now you’ll have a chance to talk and just be together.

“Okay!”

“Tell me if something goes wrong.”

You knew this look. The big brother look. Sometimes you think how hard it would be for you to live without your family, the way you’re connected to them something really fascinating. And one of your love signs is time. Spending time with your family and each member is the way you show love, the way you feel protected and loved.

You see Kiri laying down in water and looking for something. She didn’t see anyone around, attracted by… water? You didn’t try to understand what’s going on in her mind.

“Hey, pandora geek.”

You stood in front of Kiri and the shadow from your body covered her. Only after that she raised her head and squinted at you.

“I thought you’re with Neteyam. What’s wrong?” She sat on the sand, water was covering her legs a little. You did the same thing, hugging your knees and placing your head on them.

“We took a break, my brain doesn’t work properly. I still can’t ride ilu.”

Hopeless sigh made your sister chuckle, but then she saw your eyes. They were full of sadness, you were not happy. Kiri felt guilt, as your sister she had to be with you, she forgot that Sullys stick together.

“What bothers you?” You were not sure if it’ll be okay to tell her everything. But you family always encourage you to speak what lays in your heart, so you decided to do it.

“There’s a lot… I miss home, I miss flying with you, Neteyam and Lo’ak around Hallelujah mountains.” You were vulnerable now and this is one of those rare moments when you opened your feelings easily. Kiri was the only one you did it with. You could feel tears coming to your eyes, you needed this. “I just miss our way of life. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get used to it. Especially, when you always hear…”

“Hey monkeys! Still can’t ride ilu? How can you be so yaymak? You’re both freaks!” you could recognize this voice in millions. “One sister has demon blood, another is too dumb to do things that even infants can do!”

Ao’nung and his friends were coming towards you. Kiri’s body immediately tensed, you could feel it.

“What do you want? Is there nothing to do?”

Ao’nung and his friends came closer and you both stood up. Kiri was looking at him angrily, ready to fight. You were supposed to have such a good conversation, opening each other your soul, but this bully spoiled everything.

“My goal for now is to get rid of such fake Na’vis like you two and your stupid little brother.”

You were furious, how dare he talk like this about your family. Yes, he did say mean things to you, but he still picked his words. Now it’s too much. Nobody can talk about your family this way.

“Shut up and don’t get close to me and my siblings!” You tried to get into protective sister mode. Kiri was shocked by the way you raised your voice. She’s never heard such tone from you before.

“Look at this! Little girl knows how to talk?” Ao’nung was teasing you and laughing with Roxto and the rest of his friends. “Maybe you’ll learn how to swim properly soon by the time my future brother or sister will turn 10. Hopefully.”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold all your emotions. Anger, offense, sadness. It felt like a hurricane of extremely high spectrum of emotions, which was hard for you to bear.

“Don’t you dare…”

You didn’t control yourself that you were coming closer and pushing him. The reason why you felt this way was in him.

He did this to you.

You didn’t care that he was taller than you and all you faced was his shoulders. You didn’t care that he barely moved as you tried to hurt him as much as he hurt you. All he did was laughing. It seemed like Ao’nung didn’t understand anything you said, like he didn’t see you breaking into pieces right in front of you.

“Calm down, you little skxawng!” It was a joke for him. For you it was your last piece of composure.

“You’re dumb! So dumb that you can’t even understand how much pain you give me! Every day I wish I don’t meet you so you won’t shower me with all your shit! Every night I cry myself to sleep because all your mean words you’ve said hurt me! And you don’t understand me, how can you be so mean?”

You were screaming at him and trying to hit, mental breakdown took over your senses. You could physically feel how your heart hurts and legs weaken. All sounds were heard as if from under the water, you didn’t see what’s going on around you. Someone’s holding your shoulders and pushing you to their chest to not let you fall on your knees.

“Don’t touch her!”

Furious voice sounded from afar. Neteyam. Your brother who always protects you, surrounds you with love you need. That’s why he calls you yawntutsyip. Little loved one.

You could feel your brother as he came closer to you. His steps were as heavy as his mood. When he saw you breaking down in front of this asshole and because of this asshole, he almost lost his temper. The way chief’s son was holding and looking at you, finally realizing that his actions have consequences. He had to drive you crazy to understand it.

“Back off! Now!”

He pushed Ao’nung as he got closer to him, taking off his hands off you. You didn’t realize it was him, who held you all this time. Was it long? Actually, everything happened in less than 2 minutes, but for you it was like an infinity.

“What happened?”

Lo’ak was here, he saw you crying in Kiri’s hands and Neteyam fighting with Ao’nung and his friends. He didn’t need to check on all details to punch Roxto and other guys.

“It’s fine, we’re here. Don’t worry.” Kiri was sitting with you and slowly swaying, while tapping your head to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, I…” that’s all you could say.

Neither you nor Kiri noticed how the fight stopped until Neteyam came closer and examined you. His eyebrow was cut so as his lower lip, but he didn’t care. Now he could feel only your pain.

“Yawntutsyip… my sister.”

“I’m sorry, Neteyam. I didn’t…” You were gasping for breath from crying, not being able to collect your thoughts.

“Shhh, that’s fine, you’re fine. We’re here, nobody will hurt you again.” Kiri gave you to Neteyam, he was calming you down repeating the same moves as Kiri did. You were crying, letting all pain, that was suppressed inside of your soul, to flow through you.

Your siblings knew that you need to feel it to let it go. That is the only way for relief.

“Let’s go home, yawntutsyip?” Neteyam’s voice was calming as always, he hated seeing you crying.

You just nodded in agreement, hiding your face in brother’s neck and holding him as if someone can take you from him in any moment.

Yes, most Na’vis are brave, ready to fight and protect their beloved ones. But you just can’t do it. You are the one who needs to be protected. Eywa created you that way and you can do nothing about it.

“Don’t ever come to our sisters, you little bitch! Are you so insecure that you’re afraid to battle with me and choose those who are weaker than you?” Lo’ak didn’t miss to say the last goodbye before following after all of you. He didn’t wait for the answer, he didn’t need it.

Ao’nung was standing up there and looking as your figures disappear. No words are in his mind, except for one.

“Fuck”

————————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I’m not sure if I’ll write the second part🫣 I have an idea but idk if it’s worth it, we’ll see!

[lynnlovesthestars]

Could you do a Astarion x Tiefling Reader were they are sitting alone underneath there tents canopy in and they are sewing to pass the time humming and doesn't notice Astarion walk up after he was looking for them . ( they could be making something for him maybe for his 'birthday' after learning that it was that day ) .

omg sorry i took so long but my creativity juices flow in funny ways ahah.. to make it a little easier for me, since my tiny brain has been having a hard time in putting words down, i thought it would have been nice to tie this up with a oneshot i wrote a few weeks ago.. i wish i followed better your prompt- though i hope you'll like it.

Ofc reading the part before this won't change the experience, but it was nice to tie them together cause it gave a little continuity and idk anyways i hope you'll like it though it's mostly introspective and a lil angsty when astarion shows up..

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Masterlist.

Part 1. (the one shot i tied this to)

My prompt list for requests.

Taglist: @sessils @spacebarbarianweird (i forgot to add it yesterday cause im an idiot, but better late than never ahah)

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Golden.

Pairing: astarion x GN!tiefling!reader

Summary: the huge tear in his shirt caught your eye again, and you decided to give him a reminder that someone cared about him.

Genre: angsty?, lots of thinking, self-doubt, avoidance✨

You never noticed the tears carefully patched up on Astarion’s shirt until you were retrieving your dried clothes from the fire.

His button up sat up ripped on the stone like you left it on the night before, yet you still couldn’t help but focus on the smaller sewn tears already covering the fabric. It was such a precise job, that you wouldn’t have been able to tell that the fabric was ever broken until you looked closely and the places where the thread was tightly pulled became clearer.

You made a mental note of it as you walked back to your tent, holding up the bundle of yours and Astarion’s clothes.

The camp was lively that morning: yelling, singing, clattering of bottles and pans, along with rustling of the leaves had saturated the air, charging it with an electrifying energy.

In the middle of the chaos, your brain still stirred towards Astarion and the way you woke up curled up in his side, while he was meditating.

The tension that filled the tent the night before was gone. The only thing left from the night before was the ghost of his bite on your neck, and his body holding you to him.

When he broke his trance, he acted like nothing ever happened. Like you didn’t sleep twisted with him, or the way he drove you insane the night before.

You could still feel his lips on your neck as you collected your sewing kit from the tent, which still smelled like him, blood and bergamot.

As you spread the shirt on your lap, you could relive the events of the night before like a bard stuck on encore after encore.

You could feel the warmth of your bodies pressed to each other still spreading over your skin as you carefully prepared the essential to fix the tear.

You studied the tear that spread over the back, you knew it was going to be hard to make it seem flawless like the rest of them, but you wanted to attempt for him.

Worst case scenario, it was gonna stay broken anyways.

As you started to work on the tear, and you noticed how the uneven edges were not coming out nicely, an idea spurred in your mind.

At worst you were already planning on buying him a new one when you reached Baldur’s Gate. You had connections in the lower city, and you knew you could get a tailor to make the same button up if you brought a reference.

You worked on the shirt for what felt like hours, while everyone was enjoying their day, whether they took care of chores around camp or disappeared for walks, but as everyone came and left, the only one you had not seen was Astarion.

It was only when the sun was starting to set that you finally spotted him near his tent as he was looking for something in his bag.

You were just done with the shirt, and you couldn't help but hope he liked it.

You folded the shirt carefully along with the rest of his clothes, and as you were ready to head towards Astarion, he already stood in front of you.

His face was unreadable like he wanted to convey a specific emotion, but couldn't figure out how to. He was tense, his arms were frozen at his sides, so you decided to break the ice.

“I did this for you” You carefully showed him the pile of his neatly folded clothes, and his shirt on top.

“I wanted to fix your shirt, but the tear was too-” You started but before you could explain, Astarion had stopped you almost harshly.

“You didn't have to”He said briefly, it sounded mostly like an admonishment, yet you could have sworn there was some sort of softness to it. 

“I know, but I wanted to” 

“Why?” His furrowed brows were inquisitive, trying to gauge your intentions as he wetted his lips. 

“Cause I care about you, I literally told you yesterday” The words slipped out of your lips just as quickly as your tail was swishing nervously.

He scoffed, folding his arms and turning his eyes away from you. “No one does things for free” You could tell there was something odd from him, as if he was trying to bury something under this indifference he was trying to put up now.

“Count this as a gift then” You jutted your chin towards him and invited him to take the clothes still in your arms.

He was taken aback by the simplicity with which you said those words, almost carelessly, and most of all to the person that deserved them the least, especially how hard he was being with you.

He wanted to quip back but you resumed your explanation before he could even think of a response and he wanted to hate it so much. 

“As I was saying, I tried to fix the tear, but it didn't want to look nice, so I embroidered the shirt with a gold pattern” You explained as you pointed at the button up. Astarion was so focused on shielding himself that he didn’t even look at his clothes, she could have gave him one of her shirts for what he knew and he would have not realized it until he would be in his tent. 

His eyes finally fell on the piece of clothing his mouth fell slightly open. He traced the golden thread carefully, as if it was a creation of his sick mind. “I hope it’s not too much.”You trailed off, your words were warm, almost sticking to his skin like glue. He wanted to shake them off himself, he wanted to yell that he didn’t deserve such attentions, that you were an idiot to do all of this for someone that had planned to use you, but it was like something in his body stopped him from screaming and lashing out at you, the only thing he could manage to do was the simple task he gave himself in the morning.

“I came here to thank you for last night, and for your kindness” He started with a honeyed voice. “But I suppose I have one more thing to add to the list” He clutched the bundle of clothes to his chest, tipping his head forward in thank you.

[writingquestionsanswered]

I love planing out my ideas in great detail but when it comes to actually writing the story it’s like pulling teeth. It goes from being fun and interesting to being nothing more than a dull chore. I’ve tried planning less to see if having some things unknown might help, but that didn’t work. I could spend forever writing and rewriting my ideas and making changes to them. But when I try to write an actual story it’s like I physically can’t. What should I do?

Details Planned But Unable to Write

If you have the details of your story planned out but still aren't able to write it, it's probable that one of the following things is happening. See if any of these strike a chord with you...

1 - Details and Plot Are Not the Same - Sometimes writers say they have all the details in their story planned out, but what they actually mean is they've fleshed out character and setting details, maybe even backstory and some general scene ideas, but they couldn't tell you what the story's conflict is, what the inciting incident is, what goal the protagonist is pursuing and why, what's at stake, or what the major plot points of the story are. No matter how detailed your story is in terms of characters, setting, backstory, and even general ideas about scenes, if you don't have a conflict to tie them all together, you don't really have a story. You just have details. A plot can't be moved forward if it doesn't exist, and if you don't have a conflict, goals and motivation, stakes, an antagonistic force and obstacles, etc., you don't have a plot. Solution: take some time learning about Goals and Conflict, Plot Driven vs Character Driven Stories, Basic Story Structure, and How to Move a Story Forward.

2 - You Lost Interest in the Story - If you have your story properly plotted in addition to having the details fleshed out, and you're still unable to write, it could be that you've simply lost interest in the story. This can happen when we spend a lot of time on a story, especially if we spend a lot of time fleshing things out. Solution: Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write, Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists, Getting Excited About Your Story Again

3 - Something in the Story Isn't Working - Imagine someone riding a horse and they come to a rickety old bridge, but the horse balks and refuses to cross. The horse may just be stubborn, but it's quite possible it's picking up sensory information its rider can't... creaks and groans the rider can't hear, a worrisome tilt or sway the rider can't perceive... If you sit down to write your well planned out story and can't, the same thing could be happening with your gut instinct. Like the horse that doesn't want to cross the bridge because it senses danger, something inside you is saying "this story doesn't work" and isn't excited to get involved. Solution: Read through your outline or plan and see if you can spot the problem. Maybe the character's goal doesn't make sense with the events of the story. Maybe the antagonistic force isn't doing enough to oppose the protagonist. Maybe the character arc is out-of-sync with the events of the story. If nothing else, talk it through with a trusted writer friend to see if they have any thoughts. Sometimes just hearing the questions they have about the story can be enough to highlight what isn't working.

4 - Life Stuff Is Getting in the Way - Even if your story is well fleshed out and thoroughly plotted, and everything works and you're excited about writing, there can be other things going on in your life that stand in your way. If you're putting too much pressure on yourself to write or reach certain writing goals, it makes writing feel stressful and our brains are wired to avoid stressful things. It could be that you're not feeling well physically or mentally. You could be distracted by other things you want to write or do. You could just be too busy with other things to really get into it. Or you could just be not in the mood to write. Solution: Try to pinpoint what's getting in the way and see if there's a work around. For example, if you think writing has become stressful and that's why you're avoiding it, figure out what you can do to make it fun again. Or, if you think you're just not in the mood to write, figure out some things you could do that would put you in the mood to write.

5 - Fear Is Getting in the Way - Details are easy, writing is hard. No matter how much planning and plotting you've done, actually putting those details into coherent words in a way that is compelling and well-paced--that's not so easy. And, the tough reality is that until you've had a lot of writing experience, your writing probably isn't as good as you want it to be. You want it to be good, and you know what would qualify as good, but you're just not able to produce that quality yet. And the only way to get your writing quality to that level is to let yourself write things that aren't as good as you want them to be. You have to write a lot of "just okay" stuff before you can write "really great" stuff. AND THAT'S SCARY!!! And--that's not even the only thing that can cause fear for writers. Maybe you have written a lot and your writing is where you want it to be, but maybe your fear is with the next step... sharing it with others. Maybe you're afraid others won't enjoy it as much as you want them to. Solution: figure out what's causing the fear, whether it's quality-related or next step related, then try to push through it. Remind yourself that writing not great stuff is part of the process. Remind yourself that sharing with others is part of the process (usually, unless you're writing for yourself.) Have a spin through the bottom half of my Motivation master list for other fears and solutions.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[olenvasynyt]

Elain headcanons!

1. Has had a sweet tooth ever since she was little, and was one of the reasons why she started to learn how to bake. Before she turned 8, she already had 4 cavities. Puts WAYYYYY too much sugar and cream in her tea and coffee (and Lucien teases her for it)

2. Loves animals but is never good with them. Especially horses: a horse stepped on her foot accidentally one time and now she’s constantly on alert around horses (And they can definitely sense it)

3. Has high-functioning autism. Needs detailed instructions when given tasks, struggles with eye contact, and has sensory issues with loud noises and certain textures.

4. Doesn’t mind cleaning and doing chores and sometimes she enjoys it, but she HATES doing the dishes (it’s the autism. Wet food is a no). Wears cleaning gloves and an apron.

5. Has the huge collection of hats. Floppy sun hats, garden hats, beach hats, cloches, bonnets, etc. Dare I say berets? Modern headcanon: golf visors? She’s look so cute in a tennis outfit with a cute visor.

6. Takes care of her hair and spends a lot of time styling it in the morning.

7. Very adventurous, especially when she was young. Always looking for cool, unknown spots on the beach and in forests. Wanders away from the group a lot and they’ll find her at random places. Can be quite daring too: she once climbed a cliff just to pick a flower she spotted at the very top. Her sisters often remind her the infamous day of when she went wading in a neighboring lake and got a bunch of leeches or her ankles. Nesta spent almost an hour picking them off.

8. Does not like wearing heels. She’s not bad at walking in them, they’re just uncomfortable.

9. She loves bugs, and always tries to rescue a spider or moth that gets into the house. The only bug she hates are grubs and maggots (and leeches. The infamous lake memory is permanently engraved in her brain)

10. Kleptomaniac. Especially as a little kid.

11. Loves party planning. Is a huge fan of themed decorating and coordinated outfits. Has done a lot of surprise parties for her family and friends.

12. Gets cold very easily (Lucien 👀 you know what to do)

13. When she was little, she was always playing in nature. Made little moss huts for her toy dolls, pretended to be a witch a make nature potions with crushed berries, rain water, ears whatever else she could find, and would serve her sisters mud pies.

14. Has kept a diary ever since she was little

15. Her favorite party trick is being able to whistle with a blade of grass

[cirtusmistress]

He Follows - Fixation

Mahito is met with someone who is his true opposite, and a mutual curiosity blooms.

Mahito x Reader

Tags: Angst and Feels, Tragedy, Slow Burn, Tragic Romance, Mahito Being an Asshole, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Eventual Romance, Not Beta Read, Mahito POV, Verbal Abuse

AO3 Crosspost

Word Count: 1.7k

You were endlessly fascinating to him. Though he had little interest in humans outside of his experiments, he couldn’t help but be enamored by your every move. You had cursed energy, so no doubt you were aware of his presence everywhere you went. And yet you never looked at him. Never spoke to him. You merely kept pressing on. Why? Was he not interesting enough for you? Surely someone such as himself was far more intriguing than any other human you came across day after day. He stood out, he could tell you that for free. Blue hair and covered in patchwork skin? What human looked like that! 

Mahito had only existed for a short few months. Though he held incredible intellect he was still much like a child. Still growing, learning. Everyday was something new, something fascinating. Learning how to use his cursed technique, interact, manipulate. All things that would aid him in his end goal of creating a world without humans. 

So one day when he was simply people watching - looking for a new playmate to experiment on no doubt, he couldn’t remember - he saw you. Helpless, innocent you. Walking along with your bag of convenience store goods in hand, and with a small gaggle of low level curses parading behind you. Though they weren’t stalking you. No.. They were following you willingly. Mahito watched from his perch up high on a residential building. How when you walked, they followed. How when you stopped at a crosswalk a flyhead landed on your shoulder. And you smiled at it! You weren’t a sorcerer, he could tell from where he sat. Your energy level was far too low. And yet, you somehow commanded those curses. How could it be so?

He had followed you home that day. Thanks to the quick mastery of his own technique, he was able to contort and morph himself into a Fly Head. Well, as close as he could manage. He joined your little parade and followed all the way to your small single bedroom apartment. You paid no mind to the extra curse in your home, simply going about your chores. Mahito watched with the other curses. Had you perhaps used some kind of technique to bribe them? Maybe some kind of cursed spirit manipulation? Finally you sat at your little coffee table and pulled out something from your convenience store bag. Ice cream. Those ones that came in cones, prepackaged and ready to go. You had four, and laid three of them out in front of you and the curses. 

“Go ahead,” You said with a gentle smile, “These ones are for you guys.” Once they had your go ahead, the spirits began eating your offering. Mahito was.. Shocked. Low levels like these couldn’t think for themselves like this. Let alone eat! And yet he buzzed there as the curses who looked like bugs and mutants and grotesque little things nibbled away. Making happy little sounds all the while. You ate your own treat with this.. Stupidly sweet genuine smile on your face. Then you saw him. The odd Fly Head who hadn’t moved. Your head tilted, so did Mahito’s. Then the other way, and he followed. And then you smiled at him, as sweet and genuine as it had been to the others. And something rippled inside him.

“Haven’t seen you before! I didn’t know you all came in different colours!” You laughed, holding out your own ice cream in his direction, “Well welcome. You’re safe here with me. Do you want some? C’mon!” You jiggled your hand in his direction as if you tempt him like a cat you found on the street. Mahito didn’t quite know what he was feeling. Why were you.. Being so kind? To this trash? These low level curses that hardly had brains! Were you stupid? Not knowing these creatures around you could suck you dry, weigh you down, make you miserable? It was overwhelming for Mahito. So he simply gave in and played along. He sampled the treat you offered. It was sweet. And he liked it.

Ever since that encounter Mahito had followed you everywhere you went. To work, the shops, out on excursions. Sometimes in the form of another creature, sometimes lagging behind as just himself. Having studied you up close he’d confirmed none of the lower grades were under your control in some way. Everything they did they were doing willingly. Why? Why did they do it? What did you offer these things that they could not obtain from just being curses? What did you have that he just couldn’t understand? What had you made him feel that day, and every day since?

He was pondering these thoughts at a park on his lonesome one day. He had tired of waiting for you to come out for your lunch break so he’d wandered off. He lazily swung back and forth on a swing, mind putting along as your methods all but tortured him. And then he heard your voice. 

“Hello.” He leaned back in his swing, looking at you upside down. You took a few steps back to make room for him, though you did not run away. “You’re the one who keeps following me right?” You asked, folding your hands in front of you. So you had noticed him! And here he thought himself invisible! Mahito rose his feet as he began to swing again. 

“Perhaps,” He mused, “Who’s asking?” Despite being curious, Mahito was still in many ways a childish being. Straight-forward answers were not in his wheelhouse. 

He heard you step around him and take a seat in the swing to his left, “The person you’ve been following for four weeks.” Your tone was still soft and your voice was like honey on his ears. Why had he waited for you to make contact? “I wasn’t sure if you were human or one of my little friends. You’re not like them.”

“You mean those curses?” Mahito asked, pointing past you. You glanced to see your ‘friends,’ all huddled together underneath a jungle gym. Smart enough to hide from Mahito. His energy was enough to scare them. He had grown that much in a mere four weeks.. 

“Curses?” Your brows quirked up, “I wouldn’t call them curses. They’re harmless once you get to know them.” You looked back at him. Mahito felt his own innocence being reflected in your eyes. You truly had no clue what kind of company you kept. Those sweet little things you so cherished were the bane of many peoples' existences. And yet you looked at them like puppies and kittens. What did you see him as then? What was he in the eyes of someone uninformed on the world of curses?  What was he?

“If you knew I was there why didn’t you talk to me?” Mahito asked. You for once let your smile drop. You looked contemplative. Did you yourself not understand your odd mutual fixation? Perhaps two strangers forever caught in one anothers orbit?

“Because,” You spoke but stopped. Your tongue dragged over your lips and Mahito watched so closely. Every movement, every blink, every twitch. The breaths you took, the pulse of your heart, the vibration of your very atoms. “Because I didn’t want to scare you. You looked so.. Lonely.” That word. Lonely. Mahito knew of loneliness. It often came with the very emotion that birthed him. And he had never once thought he was lonely. He was content wasn’t he? Doing his experiments on his own, finding other intelligent spirits to aid in his end goal. He was not lonely, he was never alone. So why did your eyes hurt him? Why did he once again feel compelled to run? Why was your kindness so terrifying?

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black huh?” Mahito jabbed back, dragging his feet until his swing stopped. “All these weeks I haven’t seen you interact with a single person outside of work! All you do is hang around with weak inferior spirits!” He stood as the words erupted from him. Once again, unequipped to handle these sudden emotions. So he did what children did in these situations. He threw a misdirected tantrum. 

“I am not lonely. Why would I ever be lonely? I have friends! People to talk to, play with, show my work to! You’re the lonely one! Too scared to talk to me for weeks on end! God you’re- You’re so pathetic!” Hate was something Mahito knew. He knew how to hurt people. And the look on your face said it all. Never had your unending kindness been met with such aggression. And part of Mahito loved that look on you. But another part of him wept for you. Love was his opposite. Something Mahito knew he could never comprehend. Not truly. He could pretend. Replicate it. Make copy after copy. But never could he match your wavering, unending love. 

He left before you could reply. He could have killed you. Make you into something cruel and grotesque. But the last shred of curiosity he had for you prevented him. Old sentiment. The first bout of it in his short existence. You were left in that park. And though you had just been verbally abused, your heart cried for the blue haired man. How could he not see how badly he was hurting? You could. You saw it in everyone. Everything. Every past failure, every hurt feeling, you could see it. Feel it. Even in those spirits you loved so much. Even in him. He radiated it. And right now all you could do was hope maybe one day, you could speak to him again. And maybe he wouldn’t be so cruel. 

Mahito couldn’t forget you though. Despite how he tried to bury his feelings. He knew you two were polar opposites. One born from hate, and one born to love. You were his foil. And he couldn’t move on. Not until he learned what it felt like. He was in his nature. He needed to know, to feel, to experiment. So after a few days of respite, he began following you again. Farther away this time, but he was there. Watching. And you kept walking. Waiting.

[frogchiro]

As mentioned before, my brain has been consumed by Welt ever since I started playing and now please have this little fluffy thirst with him ;;

fem!reader, nsfw but it's really mild, like nothing explicit happens, nipple play and breast sucking >< very fluffy and sweet, possibly ooc Welt, age difference (reader is in her early 20's), reader has a past

!also possible spoilers on the prologue of the game!

OKAY SO, I imagine this taking place right after departing from Herta's Space Station with the Astral Express. After the disaster at the station you, Himeko, Welt, Dan Hang, March 7th and the newly acquired member of the team, Caelus, set out on a new journey to a planet called Jarillo-VI to possibly learn more about the Stellaron and Aeons.

You were really lucky to join this lively group of so many different personalities, even more so to being able to call them your friends! A life of a mercenary wasn't an easy one, especially since you had to do the dirty work ever since you were barely a teen. It sure had it's moments especially as you got older, being able to wander and see all what your world had to offer, fighting bandits and monster was a thrilling experience for sure! But after years of doing so it quickly became a mundane thing to do, the thrill of adventure gone and replaced with it being more of a (very strenuous) chore to keep food in your stomach. With no one to come home to and with the very few 'friends' you made it quickly became...depressing and frankly, empty.

Everything changed when you met the charming Lady Himeko during one of your journeys. To be perfectly honest you still don't know how it happened; one day you're slaying another monster and on the other you're standing in this brilliant intergalactical train to explore the unknown of space with a group of people who call you their friend and you can finally call that someone too.

But...you'd be lying if you said that you didn't have favorites. Something about Welt and his specific kind of charm made you swoon and his kind heart and old soul only sealed the deal.

But back to present. During the journey to Jarilo-VI all of the members of the team scattered around the train. Caelus was in the main hall looking in fascination into the vast endless space, March was probably somewhere causing trouble, Himeko was busy reading, Dan Hang was probably in his room looking through old archives and Pom-Pom was grumbling something under their breath about 'an unruly pink girl'.

And you? You were staying in your room, deciding on lazing around in your comfy bed before the new big adventure on the unknown planet; something was telling you that there would be much more trouble than any of you thought.

Just as you were laying around and almost falling asleep, a quiet knock reverberated through your otherwise quiet room.

'Come in!' you loudly said, thinking it's maybe Caelus with a question or perhaps March with one of her 'genius' ideas, but it was none of them.

It was Welt, standing just on the threshold of your room, looking tired and quite worn out. Your sleepy eyes widened slightly at the sight of the older man and immediately called him over to sit with you on your bed. What concerned you even more was the lack of resistance from the man, on a normal occasion you'd be elated to see that your partner was finally getting comfortable enough to be more open with his feelings without the 'but it's inappropriate !' talk.

Just the sight of the brown haired man in such a state made you upset so you immediately slid in next to him when he sat down with a heavy sigh. Your hands gently brushed through his graying hair and made their way down to his strong neck and shoulders to massage them a bit and relieve some of the pressure.

The deep pleased rumble coming from Welt's chest was enough of an answer but your massage was soon enough interrupted by the man turning around, broad shoulders moving and soon he was facing you with your face cradled gently in his warm palms, rough with calluses from years of fighting.

You allowed yourself to relax even more, your head feeling heavy again as your eyelids slowly closed again before quietly asking the one burning question:

"Hey love, not that I'm complaining but...did something happen? You're usually not this affectionate", you chuckled slightly and Welt released a amused sigh himself.

"Yeah, guess I'm not huh? It's just...eh forget it darling, nothing important anyway." Welt looked down again while still holding your face, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks now.

You moved closer to him, your full breasts almost touching his chest with how close you were, and it was your turn to take his face into your hands to make him look at you, a slight flush spreading on his pale cheeks.

"Weeeell, something clearly is bothering you, I can see it clear as day Welt. I'm not going to pressure you into saying it but I see that something is on your mind and not in a good way." You words were accompanied with one of your hands moving up his cheek to his hair where you combed through it, the gray streaked hair soft under your fingertips.

Instead of replying, you saw Welt moving his hand from your exposed thigh, to your tummy before slowly dragging it upward your side only to rest on your shoulder where he slowly slipped the thin shoulder strap from your nightgown down and leaning in slowly to lay a gentle kiss on your neck before moving your your collarbone and shoulder.

You let out a breath at the warm affection from your boyfriend, your hand still in his hair while the other was now firmly placed on the bed to keep you up in your position.

Soon, you felt Welt move down from kissing your shoulder to the beginning of the swell of your breast while maintaining eye-contact with you, his beautiful golden brown eyes half-lidden and dimmed with love.

You decided to move into a more comfortable position and while still cradling Welt's head to your breast, you moved back to lay on your back against the mound of pillows nestled on your bed allowing Welt to cuddle to your side and continue his insistent affections.

A slightly louder breathy moan was let out when Welt started to mouth and lick at your pert nipple before finally closing his mouth on it and suckling, his eyes never leaving yours. You looked down at the man sucking with a content hum and noticed that the formerly tense muscles started to relax in your hold, his face also starting to become more and more lax, a serene far-away look in his eyes.

You let out a quiet pleasured sigh as you let the older man suckle as much as he wanted while still cradling his head and combing through his hair. Whatever it was that was troubling him could wait just a moment longer, Welt finally relaxing in your hold and you did not wish to upset him just as he started to enjoy himself.

You'd address it after Welt felt ready and after your nap. Your eyes slowly closing and breath relaxing, lulled into sleep by the gently tug on your nipple and Welt's quiet hums.

As long as you had each other, you knew everything would be fine.

[atlasxspeaks]

I love the idea of Tsu’tey adopting Spider so here are some headcanons I have of that old grumpy guy raising his little son.

Tsu’tey’s injuries from the Great War caused him a lot of mobility issues. He often wakes up in pain from stiff joints and muscle spasms. To help, Spider will crawl over him and lay on whatever limb is hurting him to most in the morning because his body puts off a lot of heat and relaxes his muscles. He’s like a little heat pack.

Spider originally did need to wear his mask constantly, but over time, through constant communion with Eywa, she changes his lungs to be able to breathe the air. He doesn’t tell anyone though, because it happens years into him realizing nothing he can do will make most see past his humanness. Tsu’tey, however, finds out after seeing Spider lift his mask to shove a large piece of fruit in his mouth that he specifically told Spider not to eat.

Spider’s English is abysmal. He barely has the patience to sit through the normal lessons he gets from Mo’at and some of the other elders who like him, let alone enough to go to Hell’s Gate to learn about Earth. Mo’at scolds Tsu’tey for slacking in teaching Spider his native language, but he isn’t too worried about it.

Tsu’tey’s biggest mistake as a parent (in his mind) is letting Spider believe his hiss was intimidating. It was the best thing in the world for Tsu’tey when Spider was a baby. But then came a stint of time where Spider would hiss openly at anyone when annoyed which just made his reputation among villagers worst. The kids who made fun of him got bitten, mask be damned, which does not help his case.

Despite his short stature, Spider can actually fight and hold his own against fully grown Na’vi. Tsu’tey teaches him how to strike fast and hard, going for weak points in Na’vi anatomy and focusing on their legs and feet, places Spider can reach easily and do a fair amount of damage. This does mean Spider gets into a larger number of fights with other Na’vi adolescents compared to canon.

Spider is still best friends with Lo'ak and Kiri in this AU, much to Tsu'tey's dismay. He likes them well enough, Lo'ak is kind of loud and Kiri has an unnerving tendency to stare directly into his soul when talking, but overall they're good kids. He does wish they would stop eating him out of house and home though.

In canon, Tsu’tey has a brother named Arvok, who lives with them. Tsu’tey also takes in Tarsem, whose entire family died in the fall of Home Tree. He and Arvok are best friends, so it makes sense for him to live with them. The boys are like Spider’s brothers, but they pull out the "We're your uncles" card whenever he’s not listening to them or when they want to get out of doing chores.

Regardless of who you ship Spider with, Tsu’tey would find a fault in them. Neteyam? Too obedient to his parents, he needs to rebel more. Lo’ak? Too rebellious, he will get Spider killed doing one of his hair-brain stunts. Kiri? Eywa help him; she’s too much of everything. Any of the Metkayina kids? It’s laughable you’d even think for a second he’d let Spider marry into another clan.

Spider has an ikran in this AU cause I say he does. He finds a baby ikran abandoned during one of the trials he attends with his father. She’s the runt, too small and weak to fly with her family away from their nest back to their roost. Spider takes pity on her and nurses her back to health, hiding her away so no one knows because it’s technically illegal to raise an ikran. She imprints on Spider and the rest is history once Tsu’tey finds out she exists. He’s adamant they cannot keep her but one look from their combined puppy eyes breaks his will.

Tsu’tey and Spider’s ikran have the same relationship as those dads who say they hate the dog and then the dog becomes their best friend. When Spider gets kidnapped, Tsu’tey spends several nights awake with only the ikran for company, praying and begging Eywa to bring his son back to him.

Spider overall was a pretty healthy child, but there was one time when he got very sick and slipped into a coma. The scientists genuinely thought he wouldn’t make it for a while. This is the first time Tsu’tey has ever contemplated suicide, something that is forbidden under Eywa’s laws. He cannot imagine a life without Spider. The second time is after he’s taken by the RDA, but seeing Spider’s friends rally to try and get him bad makes him push the thoughts away.

After the battle at Three Brothers Rock, Neteyam lives but is mortally injured. The combined knowledge of Norm, Max, Ronal, and Mo’at is the only thing that keeps the boy from being paralyzed for life, but he’s essentially got the same disabilities as Tsu’tey now. And he’s a shell of himself. Tsu’tey doesn’t really have time to focus on him, though, because Spider is in just as bad shape as Neteyam, but mentally. After weeks of seeing both boys break down physically and mentally, Tsu’tey comes up with an idea. He gives both boys the task of planting and raising a plant together. Almost everyone thinks he’s crazy for this, but after a few weeks of watching their efforts to make this tiny plant bloom, they see that their moods have improved. Neteyam does his physical activity more to get outside and care for the plant, and Spider uses the plant as an outlet to air thoughts he knows would devastate his family.

When asked how he knew making them care for a plant would help, Tsu’tey simply replies by saying that the only thing that saved him after his injuries was Spider. Carrying for another helpless creature forced you, in turn, to care for yourself. His son saved his life.

[nightcolorz]

can I hear more about dyslexic lestat please please please

YES!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I love talking about this

Obvs in the books Lestat couldn’t read as a human because he was poor and didn’t have an education, and he only learned how to read when he was a vampire bcus vampires have magic where they can learn to do anything with unnatural clarity by just watching a human do it, bcus of their symbolic supernatural ability to mimic and preform humanity when they aren’t actually a part of it.

This implies that lestat never rlly learned how to read in the same way he never learned how to drive bcus he can only do these things by pretending to preform them by watching humans. I think, symbolically, the way lestat feels about not being able to read brings about disability imagery. There’s a part in the vampire Lestat where he says that Nicolas was angry with him for not being able to read bcus lestat relied on Nicolas to help him learn his lines (cuz he couldn’t read his scripts) and this was a chore Nicolas didn’t like doing. Lestat having to rely on other ppl to help him do things bcus he can’t read is a reoccurring thing in the first bit of the vampire Lestat. It’s also implied that he has more trouble with learning how to read then he should, partly bcus of how his brain works and partly bcus no one is willing to help him. Lestat was taught how to read for a few months or so when he was twelve going to school at the monastery and he didn’t retain anything but the ability to write his name.

bcus of this canon info, my headcanon is that lestat has learning disabilities like dyslexia and adhd which, in addition to his poor upbringing, make navigating the world hard for him when he was born in a climate where no one was willing to help him or teach him, partly bcus he has needs that are harder to meet. I think lestat being disabled in a way that makes him harder to teach rlly makes sense when u consider his conflict and trauma in tvl where he explains that he was super self hating as a child bcus he realized that no one was ever willing to teach him how to learn or grow bcus no one ever had any faith in him. Like how Gabrielle was able to read and even tho she could, she never taught lestat how to read despite his interest. I think it’s possible that Gabrielle didn’t teach lestat how to read bcus she realized how difficult it was for him to learn and didn’t have the energy to push through that with him

It just makes sm sense to me that lestat has learning disabilities since it’s a huge part of his character in tvl that he is desperate to learn and to read and to grow as a person but he finds it incredibly hard especially since no one is willing to give him the chance. Lestat is rlly relatable to me as someone who knows what it’s like to love reading and learning and being held back by disability, so that’s mostly where my headcanons come from lol

[brigoesrahhh]

HI WELCOME TO TUMBLR!! can i get some hcs for malewife spot pre/post collider does NOT matter to me he's so babygirl i need him as my wife🙏🙏🙏🙏 even if he's my failwife that's okay ill love him anyways 🥰🥰🥰

ty!!<3 this is so real LOL, alright let's go 😼 

Malewife Spot Hcs Pre & Post-Collider:

600+ words.

CW: light NSFW content (overstimulation, masturbation, teasing)

PRE-COLLIDER:

Despite being a scientist, I do not think that Jonathan can cook. Although, (being a father before… y’know) I think that he learned to bake some small things like cupcakes and cookies for his son... Now he bakes for you! 

He enjoys decorating the cupcakes the most — icing them with pink frosting and over-the-top rainbow sprinkles.

He would be the breadmaker, absolutely. He didn’t make a ton, but he never wanted you to work for too long and encouraged you to take days off when you only felt a little ill.

When you were sick, he would come into your room with your favorite drink and blankets just out of the dryer, and turn on your favorite show/movie.

He's usually nervous around you most of the time because of how happy you make him, but he's awkward and doesn't know how to express it in words. This results in a lot of gift-giving and caring for you, constantly making sure that you're happy and comfortable.

He feels so lucky to have you. Likely struggles with overthinking and needs reassurance that you love him. (Because you both already know that he’s head over heels for you.)

[NSFW] Would talk you through it, and constantly ask if you were enjoying it. It would turn him on to know he was doing you good. 

POST-COLLIDER:

Now that Spot wasn’t able to get a job, he spent most days… how do I say… being a criminal.

You were always in the back of his mind, even when making decisions that had nothing to do with you. You are like the rational part of his brain. In his mind, he would say “What would Y/N do?” and probably do the thing he wanted to anyway.

When you were in a shop and you saw something you liked, he would know. He could sense it. He would steal the item and wait for an excuse or event to gift it to you, in an attempt to hide the fact that he had stolen it. But you always knew, and would say in response: “Spot, you’ve gotta stop-” when he would cut you off and say “But I love you!” and you would sigh in defeat.

While you were out working, he was sleeping in your (technically shared) bed, doing your laundry, cleaning your desk, doing your dishes. He would do anything in service of you if it reminded him of your presence.

Extremely clingy when you do get home after work. Because as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he was thinking about you the whole time you were gone. 

[NSFW] Something about that damn collider made him more submissive in bed. I don’t know if he accidentally slipped into a horny dimension or sum shit, but he's down BAD for you.

[NSFW] He would absolutely wear your clothes and be obsessed with your scent. This would send him down paths in his mind he didn’t think he had, thinking about all the stuff he wanted you to do to him.

[NSFW] He would masturbate thinking about you when you weren’t home and think about you rewarding him for doing all of your chores. He secretly hoped for this and had this in mind when he was helping you out without asking.

[NSFW] He gets flustered really easily, and becomes really needy, grinding and begging included. Teasing his holes while ‘making out’ is his easiest weak spot, and he gets riled up very quickly.

[NSFW] Despite being taller than you (he's like 7ft in my mind) he’s squirming under your touch. Overstimulation drives him crazy, shaking and begging for you to stop, but he enjoys you being in control.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Portrayal of Betrayal

Author's Note: Y'all gave me Black Templar Brain wars >:|. So I made yet another Space marine oc. Give a shout if y'all wanna use him. Also, tag me so I can read and reblog your stuff if you do. This is a long chapter. over 2k.

Summary: Ramiel has a Bad Time, almost dies, and wakes up. Traitors are to die.

Warnings: Black Templar Shenanigans, major character death, abusive relationship, abuse of power, cannon typical violence, Black Templars TM , let me know if I need to add more.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @kit-williams, @sleepyfan-blog,

Tagged Again: @sleepyfan-blog and @whorety-k

Ramiel, like many of his general of Primaris marines is highly honored, and more than a little nervous when he is informed of his assignment, he is to become a member of the Honorable Black Templar Chapter, as a proud son of Dorn, he and his battle brothers ask their Utramarine First Born Cousins what their Chapter brothers are like and listen as they are described as dutiful, loyal, proud, stubborn, and fierce warriors. One of the other Ultramarines also murmurs something about certain unsavory traits about them, and gets a glare from the first Ultramarine that had the other quiet down.

As he and the other Primaris Marines meet and settle in with their First-Born Battle Brothers of the Black Templars, at first, the elder brothers don't seem to know what to make of them, some are hostile, some are curious, and all of them are carefully watched and monitored. Ramiel has great pride that Cedric- a brother who he's been helped by, and worked with before, got chosen as an Apprentice to one of the most Important and Eldest of the Apothecary First Born Battle Brothers of the entire Black Templar legion.

Ramiel hopes that he will gain a mentor, and does his best to do his tasks, whether it is missions, or chores to help maintain their ships and other things. As months go by Ramiel’s hearts are heavily burdened as so many of his fellow Primaris Marines have fallen, in battle, due to missions that were... well, he's not one to argue against a person in authority over him. He's been beaten enough, and remembers the lessons that were given to him by the Mechanicum, and the Black Templar elder brothers are eager to maintain discipline and punish them, justly, for their wrongdoings and sins.

He's glad that he's able to get patched up by one of his fellow Primaris Apothecary brothers, at least some of the time, sometimes they are not allowed to help patch them up after a flogging or other sort of punishment, left to heal with their own regenerative powers, and rations are one of the longer-term methods of punishment they are given. So he's surprised, honored and a little hopeful and honestly, more than a little shocked, and he hopes that the God Emperor will forgive him, afraid, when one of the harsher, and much stricter Black Templar Chaplains has decided to take Ramiel on as an apprentice.

He's worried and nervous, he's not been trained as a Chaplain and he accepts the Mentorship, before nervously telling him that he's just a battle brother. Honorable Veteran Black Templar Chaplain Mephisteil Petras has chosen him in particular. The First-Born Space Marine informs him that as his mentor, he'd be teaching him how to do the tasks and duties of a Chaplain. Ramiel bows his head and accepts the honor and new duties to be assigned to him. Following after Chaplain Mephisteil two steps back and to the left as requested by his new mentor.

It's hard, learning the duties of a Chaplain, and one of the first duties that he's ordered to do is to help with the punishment of several Primaris Black Templars, to go over their sins and help them purge themselves of their shame with use of whip and words. Traitorously his lips tremble, and he's grateful that no one can see it, and he hides his flinch by heading over to grab the punishment whip. The words lodge hot, hard and heavy in his throat, which has become dry and it feels like his eyes are burning.

He has a couple of false starts before Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras snaps at him to "Stand up straight like a real Marine."

He snaps to attention and snaps a salute. "Yes Sir!"

"Now," The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras says, "Recite their sins and punishments abom- boy."

"Yes Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras," Ramiel says, thankful that his voice doesn't crack or croak. He takes in a deep breath and reads the three Primaris brothers the scroll that contained what they had done, and the punishments that they were going to be receiving and after that there is silence.

"Abmon- Boy! Get the whip." The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras demands of him.

He nods to his mentor, the Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras and grabs the whip, "Have them count out the strokes of the whip."

"Yes sir," Ramiel replies as his throat seems to constrict and it feels like it's become harder and harder to breath.

He snaps the whip a couple of times, the crack and sound of it has them all flinching minutely, but not enough that The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras does not notice and snarls at them for it. Ramiel would also be getting a flogging after this for being so slow to obey his superior officer and mentor. Ramiel mentally apologizes to his fellow Primaris brothers as he starts to whip them, the words he's been taught to tell them as the whistling sound of the whip, the sound of their flesh, and their voices counting the whip marks.

Slowly, yet all at once he as to continue to whips them at the proper pace, to slow and he will get more time added to his flogging, to fast and he will hurt them more than he should, and his punishment for not properly doling out punishment will be worse. Slowly, and all at once he has finished whipping his fellow Primaris Marines. His nerves are screaming at him. He wants to apologize for harming them, yet he locks the words behind his teeth. The punishment he gets for that, and he only did it just the once when he was ordered to Punish Cedric had been... well...

He was blessed with the regenerative powers of a Primaris Marine, which is significantly faster and he's much hardier than a First Born, much to the scowl he got from his mentor The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras. He can't even try to go find them later to apologize, for his mentor The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras has eyes on him at all times, and the punishment he got for trying to apologize after the fact, and trying to do so out of sight and eyes (not that it worked) of their First-Born brothers had also been a test of his body's healing capabilities.

Ramiel hoped that, with time, and showing his dutiful, diligence and obedience, that hopefully The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras and the other Chaplains, and other First Born Space Marines of the Black Templar Chapter would slowly start to trust them. He has seen how warm, affectionate and caring they can be towards their fellow first born space marines. But there must be something wrong with him, and his fellow Primaris Marines that they are treated so coldly and harshly. But he holds out hope that someday, somehow, some way, they will be able to have that easy trust and affection, or barring that, be good enough that they were no longer given such harsh, and swift punishments for even the smallest of infractions.

Infractions that usually their First-Born brothers do not get punishments for, or if they do, not as harshly as the Primaris Marines do. Perhaps, it is because they are so much younger and new than their elder brothers? That they want to instill good habits and proper behaviors? Oh, he so dearly hopes that's the case. His mentor The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, among a larger number of First-Born Space Marines have started to get more agitated recently over the years. He's noticed that, and while he's sent a message or two to his fellow Primaris Marines, has no idea how to bring it up or address it with The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, without offending or upsetting the other sooner.

He gets a vox call from The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, "Sir? Apprentice Chaplain Ramiel speaking."

"Abomin- Boy, come to me, I need to speak with you about something," The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras snarls at him.

He flinches, "yes sir, I'm headed to your coordinates."

Ramiel wonders what has put his elder brother and mentor into such a foul mood, and dreads what the potential answer could be. Even as he braces himself for likely more rounds of justified punishment for infractions, he did not know he had done until The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras informs him of them. He sends a message to Cedric, who's awake and on the same ship as him. Just as a warning about the mood that The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras is in.

He is sure and swift in his movements as he heads towards where The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras and several the more... irascible and mistrusting of the first-born black Templars are.

"I have arrived, The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras," He says snapping a salute.

"Abomination," The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras and his hearts sink to his chest and his throat feels like its closing, "For the crime of existence I, The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, have decided that you shall cease living."

"Bu- Mentor, H-Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras," He stutters out moving backwards a little, "I-I'm a loyal Black Templar of the Chapter... I'm not an abom-"

Whatever he was going to say next was cut off as he dodge the blow he recieved from The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, who charged him. As a Primaris Marine, they are fast, stronger, and have a higher mental processing speed. He continues to dodge and weave, not attacking back as more of the First-born Space Marines go after him. He knows that they will hit him, and they do, he is only one and they are half a dozen strong.

"Foul Abomination, thy existance will be purged and our chapter restored!" The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras roars at him.

Ramiel continues to dodge and tries to speak with him- with the other First Born Black Templar Battle brothers that are slowly trying to encircle and cut off his mode of retreat. They and The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras are starting to get past his guard and one of the systems pings a warning and sends a distress signal off to the nearest Apothecaries that he was wounded. He was starting to get far more badly wounded.

"What did I do wrong mentor? I have only ever tried to heed your words, Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, and be a good, obedient mentee," He hears a familiar voice cry out and he turns to see Cedric staring at him and the group of First-Born Marines in shock, a medic's kit in hand.

Ramiel notices The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, his mentor swerve to try and strike out at Cedric. With a burst of speed he runs and blocks the blow- unfortunately where it lands, the chainsaw sword strikes him a lethal blow as Cedric desperately grabs him Ramiel manages to murmur something to Cedric as blood spills from his lips.

"I'm sorry, sir, whatever it was that I did to deserve this, please don't take it out on my brothers." He apologizes as blood bubbles from his lips. It feels nice, paradoxically to be in the arms of one his brothers, it’s been so long since he’d been held, even if Cedric is trying to keep him upright.

He closes his eyes, as his vision grows dark, and feels blood flowing rapidly out of his wounds. He wakes up with a pained gasp and blinks. Treacherous tears are blinding his eyes as he blinks rapidly. He is alive. Ramiel, somehow, survived what had felt like a killing blow. He jolts as he tries to get up to find Cedric or The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, and the other First-Born Marines to Attack him, upon his command, of course. He pulls of his helmet and buries his face in his hands as he shakes and allows himself to feel, just for a moment or two before he scrubs is face clean of salted water and puts on his helmet as he gingerly gets up.

He looks around, a frown forming on his face, he doesn't recognize the flora and fauna of this place. As he looks up to the night sky, the stars aren't something he recognizes either with jolt of unease. He has many questions that he has no answers for. And he will need to find a way back to... back to his brothers. He ignores the way that had his body flinching and curling in on himself. Coward. He hisses at himself, he's an apprentice chaplain, honored to have been chosen by The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras.

He needs to find out where he is and how he got here and how to get back to The Sigismund. He finds a stream of fresh water, that is flowing fast enough, and after a cautious test, is clean enough to drink from and he does so gladly. The water is bitingly cold, which helps further ground him in the here and now as he ruthlessly squashes the thoughts and questions that run amok in his mind. He puts his helmet back on and continues to wander the forest, which is lovely, and filled with bird song and the rustling leaves of the trees that sway in the wind.

One of the things that Ramiel doesn't know, is that his death at the hands of the First-Born Black Templars had started the overt schism within the Black Templars, between the ones who viewed the Black Templars as Abominations to be purged, and the first born (who found them to be useful) and the Primarus Marines who didn't want to die and were not abominations against His Imperial Majesty. They had been created upon the orders of Him on Terra, created and raised on Mars for the majority of their training before The Imperial Regent in all his wisdom had decided to have them sent out to reinforce the various chapters of the Space Marine Chapters.

But that is something he doesn't know yet, simply that his mentor, The Honorable Veteran Chaplain Mephisteil Petras, had thought him something to kill. He notices movement and hides in the shadow of a massive tree when he spots three or four base line human children running around and playing in a camp site, with the adults talking to one another amiably as the kids played nearby. They looked so happy, which both soothed and hurt something inside Ramiel that he couldn't understand for some reason as he watched them, entranced.

Keeping very still and shrinking back further when he noticed some of the adults glancing his way. He doesn't think they saw him, otherwise they likely would call back the children and leave the area. One of the children notices something and shrieks with emotion, and runs towards- oh no. Oh child no! He spots a couple of Chaos Marines and growls softly. The child is not at fault for not realize that wasn't an Angel of the God Emperor, but a Scummy traitor.

He pulls his blade shifts his body and, despite his wounds Charges towards the Chaos Marines with a bellow, getting in-between the child and the Chaos Marines who swear and pull back as he growls at the Chaos marines, “Scum and Filth to be purged. You Heretics shall die by my hand! Child- run back to your parents and leave this place.”

[anonymous-dentist]

One thing I’ve noticed about Arkanis so far that’s just a little worrying to me is that the Lore is Constantly Happening. It’s the same problem I had with the QSMP, too: too much happening all the time will eventually overwhelm the creators and the audience. Especially if everybody has enigmas to figure out, then they have enigmas on top of enigmas on top of enigmas with no time to solve them

But this depends on how long Arkanis is projected to be. The QSMP was supposed to be a years-long project with legitimately no projected ending; it just happened to crash and burn just before it’s one year anniversary and not stop burning until the anniversary was over and the server could say it lasted 1+ years. And then it died.

But Arkanis? I’m thinking that it’ll be done sometime in January or February. It feels very Karmaland-y, and that’s a good thing! Karmaland 5 only lasted six or so months, which was a Good Thing!

I vaguely remember hearing that this current Arkanis is like a “season one” type of deal, and I hope that means that it’s shorter than not. This isn’t because I hope it ends quickly, it’s because I believe that there needs to be an ending Eventually so the server doesn’t fade into obscurity.

It does actually help that a lot of the creators seem to be focusing on their characters’ individual lores. Sure, everybody is involved in the overarching plot, but there is a Specific Character dedicated to that overarching plot. That’s Bagi, and she’s related directly to the enigma channel on the Arkanis discord.

And, unlike the QSMP, the individual lores all actually at least vaguely seem to tie into the Big Plot in some way. All of the Lore Details aren’t reserved for one or two people to discover, each character has an impact on the story and the story has an impact on them.

Tbh, this just shows the benefits of Arkanis being a dedicated rp server. Sure, yeah, you can be as invested in rp as you want as a player; Mike hasn’t been doing much besides building, I think, and that’s just fine. But the fact that Arkanis was advertised with a LOT of rp stuff and the fact that it has dedicated itself to the rp even so far as including the discord in it? Social media accounts are canon? That stuff? Really impressive.

The best way to combat burnout with this kind of stuff is to provide brain breaks. Have weekends off of lore or something. But another good way is to keep Lore from feeling like a chore. It’s fun to be an audience member actually impacting the Lore through the discord channel! It’s especially fun when you’re enigma-brained like several of the ccs are, and like a good portion of the audience is. If there’s a lot of information, it’ll be hard to get through. But it’ll be easier if you’re actually enjoying it.

And the way to enjoy it? The information needs to make sense, and that’s what Arkanis is absolutely doing right at the moment. It’s all confusing, but it’s also relatively easy to go “Oh! These characters were in the advertisements from August!” when there’s clear, yet still not too obvious, evidence showing it.

That’s what the QSMP consistently got wrong: the information just didn’t make sense. This came from a lack of planning and the workplace abuse the writers and actors faced. A lot of things came down just to what Quackity and/or the other higher ups thought would be cool or clickbait-y.

Arkanis is doing things right so far. Everything seems planned, the story actually seems to know where it’s going, and a lot of things somehow seem to relate back to the story in a way that makes sense.

But also? It’s only been a week. Who knows if the server will be able to keep this momentum up in a healthy way? I hope it does, and I have faith that it will. The guys behind the scenes almost seem to be taking the QSMP’s failures and learning from them while still creating and keeping a unique server identity.

I just hope it lasts!

[slaymitchabernathy]

Mr. Peacekeeper

Coriolanus can see his breath in the air while walking back to his sleeping quarters. It's been an adjustment, being here in Two. Mostly because he wants nothing more than to go back home to the Capitol, but he figures that he'll have to stick it out here a little longer before making his final move.

Soarynn teases him about his impatience. It's easy for her to laugh about it, she doesn't know what awaits them in the Capitol, how much better it is there than in the Districts. She'll learn though, he'll teach her how to have proper manners and to be the perfect Capitol lady.

He just has to be patient.

He unlocks the door to his little shack and peers in to find Soarynn isn't in bed. The bathroom door is shut though, she must be in the shower. Their sleeping quarters are less than desirable, there's little room to move around and the bed is quite small but they make it work. Coriolanus pulls open the top drawer of the dresser and carefully places his gun in the corner he always leaves it in. Being a Private gave him a lot more privileges such as owning a smaller gun, easier to conceal, his curfew was also extended by an hour and he was able to leave the base without having to be cleared by his Commander.

Commander Potts was a stern man who rarely ever cracked a smile. He had greeted them when they arrived at the base and Coriolanus would never forget how his eyes roved over Soarynn, taking her in. She had been in complete awe of the base and the mountain that stood behind it so she hadn't even noticed his wandering eyes. But Coriolanus had.

Soarynn was a...special case. She was given certain privileges such as staying with Coriolanus and being able to leave the base with him but her curfew was the same as a basic Peacekeeper's and she was expected to help out with some of the chores. She didn't seem to mind though, it kept her busy. Coriolanus didn't want her lounging around in bed all day so it made him feel better to see her moving about the base.

The other men, of course, loved Soarynn. While she mostly kept to herself, she was flirtatious by nature and Coriolanus would often find her in the company of several Peacekeepers who would be in the midst of teasing her, pulling on her ponytail, teaching her little games.

Coriolanus didn't like it.

He shuts the drawer and opens the one below it, the one where Soarynn keeps all her belongings. There's not much, some underwear, a few shirts and pants. She hadn't had much to begin with and Commander Potts managed to scrounge up some clothes that decently fit her and allowed her to blend in with the basic uniform. She's also got a stack of playing cards, something she bought from the Mill a few weeks ago.

Coriolanus and Soarynn had been navigating their new life in Two together and that included wandering around the town and getting to know the locals. Soarynn faired much better with these people, all of them being District. Coriolanus would often linger behind as she spoke to people, asking questions, getting the scoop. His Peacekeeper uniform certainly wasn't helping his case but people were more wary of him than they were of Soarynn.

They'd discovered that District Two had their own version of the Hob. It was the Mill. It was relatively the same idea and layout as the Hob, a black market of sorts. Coriolanus wouldn't be surprised if every District had something or the other related to a black market of sorts. Soarynn always begged to go on Friday nights, always wanting to socialize and dance. Sometimes Coriolanus would indulge her requests and take her with him, other times he'd leave her behind or they'd both stay back on the base so that he could do some paperwork.

His workload had increased significantly since being promoted and he found that he enjoyed the challenge it posed. His brain had been turning into mush back in Twelve, but in Two, his mind was sharp and alert.

He digs around her drawer until he finds what he's looking for, that little pouch. He opens it and dumps out the contents into his hand. There are several dirty old coins, not worth much but they're something he supposes. Soarynn being here with him offered him a great advantage over everyone else on the base who was severely touch-starved. They didn't have whores in Two the way they did in Twelve and Soarynn was such a sweet little sight to all the men on base.

So, Coriolanus began to extend her services to some of the men. Not all of them, no, he had to be selective. He chose higher ranking men, like Officers and Privates and Generals. Men who could help him climb up the ranks.

Soarynn had protested the idea at first, even threatened to run away. "You said things would be different here," she'd cried, "you said that I wouldn't have to make a livin' doin' what I did back in Twelve." Coriolanus hadn't been in the mood for a full-blown tantrum from her, not when he put his neck out on the line to bring her with him. He'd grabbed her by the hair and craned her neck back, forcing her to look up as he towered over her, "If you're going to be an ungrateful brat then I can see to it that every man on this base has a turn with you and that tight little cunt of yours. If you want to be my good girl, then you can do as I say and I'll see to it that you're not sleeping with anyone who would pose a major threat to you or to me," he'd said so calmly.

A few tears escaped her eyes but he knew he had her trapped. So far away from home and anyone she knew. Soarynn knew that too.

Sometimes they gave her a little something, a coin, some ribbon, a new pair of socks. Soarynn always came back to him the same way, with a distant look in her eyes while he cradled her in his arms and whispered about how good she was for him, how obedient and helpful, how no other girl would do this for him. "We both help each other darling," he'd say, running a loving hand over her head, "what you're doing is helping me reach the top."

And he would reach the top, no matter the cost.

꧁ ꧂

"Your girl's been causing problems Private Snow."

Coriolanus is stunned. As far as he knew, Soarynn was well-behaved and rather well-liked by everyone on the base. Besides the fact that she was a good fuck, the men were more than kind to her, even the cook, Goose, had taken a liking to her and apparently, he didn't like anyone.

Coriolanus swallows, "What kind of problems sir?"

Commander Potts sighs and runs a hand over his clipped hair, "Some of the men have come to me with complaints. They're saying that...that she's been sleeping around with some of the other men."

If this is what the problem is then Coriolanus is more than willing to let Soarynn take the fall for it. He's not the one sleeping around. And he knows that the men he does let her fuck would never complain. It must be those dirty, lowlifes who have never gotten a chance with her. He feigns a look of disgust, "Sleeping around? Sir, I...I'm as appalled as you are. Soarynn's a good girl I swear. She'd never cause any trouble. But um...she used to do this back in Twelve."

Potts widens his eyes and he leans forward, "You don't say." Coriolanus nods, acting as if this pains him to talk about, "They called her the barracks bunny. She'd hop around and sleep with anyone. I thought by bringing her here and taking her out of that environment that she'd change but I suppose she's played me for a fool."

Commander Potts sighs and shakes his head, "So this is something she's known for then. I see. Well, I don't want to cause any problems for you Private, so why don't we make a little deal?" Coriolanus hadn't come here to make a deal, but he doesn't have much of a choice. He sits up straighter, "Of course sir."

Potts could say anything, suggest anything, and for once, Coriolanus doesn't have the upper hand. Potts turns to the door that stands on the right of his desk and waves his hand, "Bring her in." Coriolanus watches as two Peacekeepers drag Soarynn into the room. Her eyes are wide with fear, her hands are bound behind her and she's been gagged. It also looks like she's put up quite the fight because both men had scratches all over their faces. He can see a nasty bruise blooming over her left eye though, meaning they got the last word. She's shaking and she's looking right at him, begging him to save her.

He can't.

It's like his mother's compact all over again.

Potts sighs and gives her a pitiful look before turning back to Coriolanus, "I apologize for the extreme measures. Standard protocol for all detainees as you know." Coriolanus keeps his expression neutral, he doesn't need to over react. "She's been detained? On what charges?" All three men chuckle like they know something he doesn't, "For being a whore," one of the Peacekeepers says with a smirk, "and who knows what kind of diseases she's been spreading."

Coriolanus refrains from telling them that Soarynn is clean, doesn't have any sort of sexually transmitted diseases even though he can see Soarynn trying to get him to talk, to help her. He doesn't. "Here's the deal Private," Potts says, "you start making sure your girl is paying attention to all the men on the base, not just the higher-ranking ones," he gives Coriolanus a knowing look. A look that means either Soarynn talked or he's put two and two together and realized that Soarynn's only been fucking the most important men on the base.

And Coriolanus decides to play right into his hand in order to come out of this unscathed. So he shrugs, relaxes into the chair, slouches a little for good measure. "Of course. You can even take her for a spin if you want, she's good for it." There's betrayal written all over her face but Coriolanus wisely ignores it and focuses on the more than pleased face that Commander Potts is wearing. "You sure?" He asks before giving Soarynn another glance, "I wouldn't want to get too greedy."

Coriolanus laughs and waves him off, "It would be my honor. Soarynn knows how to behave, she'll show you and your men a good time," he nods towards the two men currently restraining her who look like kids in a candy store at this open invitation.

The deal is made.

Soarynn will spend the rest of the week in the small jail they have on base so that Potts can "keep an eye on her" and in exchange for his generous offer, Coriolanus won't be written up and he's looking at a good chance at being promoted.

As Coriolanus strides out of the office he feels on top of the world.

꧁ ꧂

"They forced my hand," he reasons, stretching his hand through the iron bars, a piece of bread in between his long fingers.

Soarynn remains in her spot in the dark corner, her knees pulled up to her chest. Even though it's dark he can see the bruises on her knees, all over her body if he's being honest with himself. She shoots him a glare, "I was there when it happened," she says, her voice trembling, "I'm not some idiot Coriolanus, you let them take me."

Coriolanus scoffs, so past caring about what happened at the beginning of the week, "Well what does it matter?" He snaps, dropping the bread on the ground, "We're just one step closer to getting home Soarynn, and don't act like you didn't run around the base back in Twelve, willingly might I add." Soarynn sniffles and looks away, staring at the wall, "That's the point, I did it cause I wanted to do it. What they're doin' to me here isn't what I want. And it's your home, not mine."

For some reason, those words bite at his heartstrings. He's trying to be helpful, be understanding but if she's going to act like this then what's the point? He stands up from his crouched-down position, one of his hands holding onto one of the bars, "When you get out of here you'll be able to think about all the choices you've made leading up to this point." He stares down at her, at the barracks bunny, the District whore who's still so far beneath him even now, "In two months I'm leaving for the Capitol," he says quietly, still unable to believe it himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Soarynn straighten up at that news, then she slouches back down. Once he leaves, that's it, there's no walking this back. He's her ticket out of here if he'll have her. And it's so fucking funny how quickly she slips a switch. Soarynn pushes herself off the dirty ground, smoothing down her dress like it'll help shape up her dirtied appearance before she walks over to him. She's got that look in her eyes that she has whenever there's a customer talking to her, or a potential customer in most cases.

It certainly worked on him.

Coriolanus had been at the Hob one night, nursing a drink when she caught his eye. He had seen her around the base and she'd seen him. She gave him that sweet smile before making her way through the crowd. Once she got up to him he had to do a double take at how small she was compared to him. His Peacekeeper diet and training helped him nearly double in size. He could break her so easily.

She'd used all her tricks, said all the right things and the little slut got him hard in the middle of the Hob. "Looks like you might need some help with that sugar," she'd purred, batting her lashes up at him. Coriolanus had chuckled before throwing back the rest of his drink, "What a coincidence that you're here to help then, hmm?"

He took her out back and fucked her throat and once Soarynn swallowed all the cum he shot down her throat she stood up on shaky legs and flashed him a smile. He had offered her a shiny coin for her services but she turned it down, "One day," she'd said, "I might need some help gettin' out of a sticky situation, and maybe you could help me out of it."

He'd been so surprised by her boldness but he was also so entranced by it as well. Most Capitol girls just giggled and waited for him to make the first move but not Soarynn. "What makes you think I can help you?" He had asked her, leaning up against the wall. Soarynn shrugged, twirling her blonde hair around her finger, "I've got an itch that you're not from around these parts. You might know some important people Mr. Peacekeeper."

She had been right, and right now, she was wearing that same look, the look of desperation mixed with a bit of hopefulness.

"That's great news Coriolanus," she says softly grabbing the same bar he's holding onto, her hand is below his and much smaller than his large one. She'll always be below him. He nods, "It is." Soarynn stares at the ground for a moment, she's not wearing any shoes or socks and Coriolanus knows that he'd have a slight meltdown if his bare feet had to touch the nasty floor.

"You remember that coin you tried to give me? When we first met?"

Coriolanus smirks at her question. It's a gamble she's taking and he has to give her credit for it. "Yeah, I remember that coin."

Soarynn leans forward until they're almost eye to eye except he'd have to lean down for that to happen, "Then now is the time to help me and get me out of here," she whispers, glancing at the guards stationed a good ten feet away from them, "please Coriolanus, take me with you. If you don't then I'll be stuck here forever and once they're tired of me then they're gonna string me up."

Coriolanus feels a frown tug on his lips at the idea of Soarynn seeing the noose, a punishment meant for criminals. And this sweet girl isn't a criminal. She's a whore but that's not the worst thing in the world.

He reaches through the bars and holds her chin in between his fingers, "I'll have to make another deal with Potts, bigger than the last one," he tells her, both of them knowing what kind of deal it would be. Her chin trembles for a moment before she takes in a deep breath and nods, "I can handle it," she whispers.

Coriolanus smiles, "That's my good girl. I knew I could count on you Soarynn. If everything goes well then we'll both be out of here before you know it." Soarynn smiles up at him like she believes him, "Then we can be together in the Capitol, and you can show me to all your fancy friends." Coriolanus smiles down at her like he believes her.

꧁ ꧂

The train whistle wakes Coriolanus up from his sleep. For a moment he forgets where he is, where he's going. One glance at the blonde girl in his lap reminds him of their final destination. The Capitol.

He can't believe it. He made it. He did it.

No more Districts.

He looks out the window and can see the Capitol skyline beginning to appear. Soarynn is sound asleep, nearly dead to the world. They had left Two last night and she spent one final night pleasuring the men on the base. Coriolanus had gone with her for the final sendoff. He could tell that the men had been slightly put off by his presence but he didn't care. Soarynn belonged to him.

For a while they just touched her, warmed her up. A caress on her shoulder, a squeeze on her knee, a kiss on the cheek. Then they had one last chance to get all their pent-up energy out. Coriolanus had never borne witness to such vulgar and aggressive behavior. They bent Soarynn every which way, fucking her on the mess hall tables, holding her in the air, throwing her around really. She tried to keep it together for a while, mostly because he was watching but after a certain point she broke. Probably because they brought out some rope to use on her.

Eventually, she ended up in his lap, reeking of sex, dripping with cum from who knows how many men while they all gave her one last kiss goodbye. She was shaking the entire time, tears streaming down her face as she was forced to be intimate with all these men once more.

But it was all over. That's what he told her once they were done. She'd never have to give her body away like that again. In the Capitol, they had order, laws, class. Things would be different there.

The only thing that wouldn't be different was the fact that once again, Snow lands on top.

| Part 2. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

[razornioccam]

elibarra comic with 19k likes on twitter LETS GOO ELIBARRA NATION!!! this just reactivated something dormant in my brain

you guys dont get how important elibarra is to me personally. filipino has consistently been my lowest subject since elementary and i rarely ever spoke tagalog (typical 'englishera' lol got teased for it relentlessly). you know what sparked my love for the language??? fucking elibarra . OF ALL THINGS .

i got so invested in them that i started to seriously learn and speak my native tongue because i wanted to fully analyze their interactions. i wanted to have enough knowledge to be able to compare the filipino texts to their english translations, to see if there was any nuance lost (or gained) in their conversations with each other. i hunted down every translation i could find of the boat scene and when i found the one that translated one of the lines to "because you are not made to suffer" i went batshit insane. i had all of their scenes together (and all of the elias scenes bc i love him) fully tabbed and annotated, highlights and side comments and everything. read my first fic written in tagalog because i desperately needed more of them.

got my highest grade in filipino in grade 9 and have since gotten better at speaking the language both formally and casually. from there, i learned to love the overall history and culture because it stopped feeling like a chore. because thats what elias wouldve wanted for me!!!

tldr doomed yaoi so good it sparked a personal revolution within me

now we wait for the annual boost in popularity whenever the grade 9/10s reach their 3rd and 4th quarter. noli me tangere is an incredible book you guys!! if focusing on elibarra is what it takes for yall to lock tf in and really get into it (like i did) then do it! you'll eventually learn to appreciate what jose rizal had to say in the story (and that he really Really loves elias LMAO)

[mania-sama]

also!! same anon. any kevneil hcs? 👀 what do u think there relationship would be like?

thanks for sending in another ask!!! i love answering!!!!

I have to really think about this because it's been a while since I've read the books. I needed to refresh my brain a bit!

Since they got together, everyone thinks that they'd push each other to unhealthy heights of Exy obsession. But, that's not the case. Slowly, they are able to coax more interests than Exy out of each other.

With Kevin, it's a lot easier. Neil already knows of Kevin's attempts at having other interests, despite having Exy shoved down his throat since he could talk. So, when the time comes, Neil encourages Kevin to spend time with the things that bring him joy. Such as watching the newest documentary about Ancient Egypt on the History Channel instead of a rerun of a UPenn Exy game, or attending his first Ren Faire dressed to the nines so nobody would recognize him.

Neil tries, too, of course. He picks up 'hobbies' at Kevin's subtle proding, but they always end up as competitions to see who can learn them quicker or better. Instead of being hobbies, they just end up as skills in his set. They learn how to knit together, and Neil is a thousand times better since his hand was never broken; his fingers are more nimble and move at a faster sustainable pace. Kevin sulks at this, obviously. So, when they learn chess, Kevin ensures he always has two wins over Neil.

Exy is still Neil's primary focus, his lifeblood. It's Kevin's, too, but Kevin allows himself a little more freedom. Neil doesn't find as much fun in Renaissance Faires or tours of Native American landscapes as Kevin does, but whatever makes Kevin happy makes Neil happy.

They argue very little at home. Whatever steam they have, they settle it on the Court, either in private sessions or in actual games. They do not hold back. When Neil makes a too-wide pass, Kevin shouts, "Josten! Fix your fucking aim or get off the court!" because he remembers that Neil sucks at putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Likewise, Neil bites back with, "Maybe I wouldn't have done that if you'd get off my ass every once in a while!" because Kevin is always insisting that Neil never does his chores correctly, and perhaps it pisses him off a little.

But, if anything happens to them on the Court, nothing else matters. It could be a good thing; perhaps Kevin made the game-saving goal, or Neil intercepted an important pass. They'll bump shoulders or, if it's appropriate timing, lift each other into the sweetest victory hug. It could be bad. It could be that Kevin's ankle rolls with a sickening crack. Neil drops his racket from whatever corner of the court he's in and rushes to Kevin like his heels are on fire. He pushes everyone away to pull Kevin into his arms, cradling his face as Kevin breaks down, memories of his broken hand crashing in on him. He whispers to Neil, the only person who could truly understand his situation and the only one willing to comfort him, that he's never going to play again. It's all over, he says, over and over again.

Neil tells him it's not true. It's a sprained ankle; it heals in six weeks. Kevin had a right to panic since their lives were reliant on their ability to play Exy, but Neil stayed right by his side the entire time. He shields Kevin from the press, having little patience for their prying questions. He spits out words that he knows Kevin would be horrified by (and so would the US Exy National PR Team). He sits down with Moriyama and explains the injuries and healing time. Moriyama leaves Kevin alone. Neil never lets Kevin get too far into his own head, and at the end of it all, Kevin thanks him in his own way.

Neil is on the receiving end of a lot of things; he finds brand-new running shoes waiting for him on the kitchen counter. There are his favorite protein bars ever from Germany stacked to the brim in the pantry. Kevin tells him, nonchalantly, that they have first-class tickets to watch the best professional Japanese team play in person in a month. It's hard for Kevin to say specific words, but Neil doesn't need them to understand.

But, sometimes, they do come out. At the end of their morning run on a rainy Tuesday, Kevin turns to Neil and says "I love you." Because perhaps that's when he needs to say it - when it's all clogged in his chest and nobody expects him to say it, least of all himself. And Neil will return the affection that night when the sun has set and the fear of nightmares has nestled into his skull. He fears that he has made a mistake letting Kevin so close to his heart, close enough that someone can hurt Neil by taking Kevin away. He turns to Kevin, grabs the nape of his neck, and says "I love you, too."

Because he knows that his fears are inane. That having someone to take care of his heart rather than letting it rot in its bone cage is the best decision he's ever made.

They sleep wrapped in the other's limbs and body. And when one starts shaking from a nightmare, they don't hesitate to pull each other closer. And that's all they need at the end of their long days. Having someone who will worldlessly, unquestioningly support them is enough.