#thay could possibly happen is getting to me a bit

[winterrose42]

I think maybe we wouldnt have to destroy everything to fix everything, maybe baby steps would be enough but one of the problems is the baby steps get kicked before they can even work or theyre halfassed ad dont work anyway. And i dont know what the solution to that is but homesteaders are i think a part of it

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐁*𝐓𝐂𝐇 (𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐑𝐀)

; 𝐆𝐔𝐍-𝐖𝐎𝐎 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈. 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐒.

summary: killing kim myeong-gil would bring many people satisfaction. as hyeon-ju, gun-woo, woo-jin and the others begin to plan on how to do it, choi knows that there's someone in seoul who would take part in it with much pleasure.

wordcount: 3.348k (i got a little bit excited, the other chapters gonna be shorter don't worry)

tw: swearing, almost-fighting, so just plain bloodhounds-things (i update this section with every new part of the story)

author's note: i watched the k-drama in one day, it's wonderful. a little explaining for the "y/h/c", i wrote it with creme-blonde haired character so i'd recommend some extreme or light color. other than that, it's free for every hair color!!

in the burger shop, the pregnant silence after gun-woo's confession about the loan and his mother's café shop was broken by the arrived burgers, brought by woo-jin. hyeon-ju's face became hard again.

"as you heard, my grandpa is no longer a loan-shark. he provides zero-interest loans to people in need. but we occasionally come across punks who try to take advantage of his good heart. yang jae-myeong was one of them. he lied about his mother needing to get an operation. he borrowed ten million won and vanished. it took me half a year to track him down. i saw him begging in front of a train station. at first, I thought he had really become homeless, but i noticed how clean his teeth were as I was passing by. so i tailed him, I found out that he and his goons were pretending to be homeless and stealing IDs from actual homeless people. they use the IDs to create shell corporations and open bank accounts. then they con loan sharks and take out loans anywhere from tens to hundreds of millions of won. this tactic was so professional, we thought there could be someone behind yang jae-myeong. i heard that this person had connections to yang jae-myeong. do you know him?"

after the photo was shown, they talked about how to follow yang jam-myeong's gang, but before the trio stood up from the table, hyeon-ju nodded to the guys to stay sit. digging into her jacket's pocket, she took out a piece of paper that seemed to be like a photo.

"before you begin stalking the gang, i want you to find this girl. i didn't have the time to talk to her, since i was searching for yang jae-myeong, but now i want you two to talk to this girl. gun-woo, tell her about the loans your mom signed and what happened after. she's hard-headed and kind of keeping to herself."

"fine, but who's she?" woo-jin asked, as gun-woo looked at the picture. long y/h/c hair, the mask was on her face, but she had wide, clear speaking eyes. ones like woo-jin's, the ones you look in and can read from them without a loud word.

"she's y/n. i heard my grandpa talk about him on the phone, this was the only picture i could get about her. she doesn't have instagram, facebook or any of these apps, i took this from my grandpa's office. it's possible that she won't open up to you, but it's a must to talk to her."

"yeah, i get it. but why do you want us to find her?" gun-woo was also interested about this question. was she an enemy? young kids can also be stolen by criminals and raised by them, to be as loyal as a dog can to do anything for theirs.

"y/n is good, don't worry. as far as i know from what my grandpa said on the phone, she is someone whose parents were close to my grandpa. she followed her father's track and trained herself in the most brutalist martial arts, like the israelite krav maga, the russian systema or muay thai."

"aisssh, i wouldn't want to confront her in any way", woo-jin said. gun-woo thought about these fights; he only saw muay thai on tv, and that seemed really dangerous in itself. he knew that as soon as they begin to track the girl, he's gonna search up the other two martial arts on his phone.

"yeah, me neither" gun-woo added.

"will you two do? and asking for her phone number?" hyeon-ju asked, the guys nodded.

"yes, of course. but i'll bring a white flag just in case", woo-jin answered as they stood up from the table.

a few hours later, gun-woo and woo-jin were on the streets, wandering around buildings.

"fuck, how can we find someone in a town where nearly ten million people lives?" woo-jin asked. gun-woo looked at the picture. 

“hyeon-ju said that she’s a pro in martial arts. maybe we should look in the gyms?” 

woo-jin patted his chest, “look, a real genius here.” 

going to every gym around the town, gun-woo and woo-jin began to lose hope. 

“maybe she’s working today or just doesn't feel like coming down to train.” gun-woo began to think about what to tell hyeon-ju if they don’t find the girl. she sure will be pissed or angry, but this is a really difficult task. 

“aish, gun-woo, don’t be like that! would you say something like this? people like us, people who train daily, their safe place is the gym. feeling sad? go to the gym! feeling happy? go to the gym! did your date went well? go to the gym! you just broke up with your girlfriend? go to the gym! look, for every problem, there’s a solution, and the solution is called–”

as woo-jin talked and talked, gun-woo thought he’s hallucinating. on the other side of the crosswalk, a girl tapped on her phone. same (y/h/c) hair, same (e/c) eyes, the same way she dipped her shoulder as she looked behind her, even the black sweater was the same. she wasn’t tall, the arms of her sweater weren't puffed from muscles. maybe she isn’t y/n, but they can try. 

“woo-jin, look. do you think that is her? y/n?” he asked, cutting off his friend. woo-jin looked at the picture, than at the girl, than at the picture again, and the girl again. 

“honestly, how could we know if we don’t ask her?” woo-jin smiled, just as he always does when he’s in some doubtful situation. they began to walk behind the girl. she wore earphones. woo-jin went to tap her shoulder, but when he touched her shoulder, the girl turned around, grabbing woo-jin’s wrist to keep him still so she could punch him in the face, gun-woo hurried to stand beside woo-jin. the girl took out the earphones with her free hand. 

“what the fuck do you want from me?” she asked, looking up from under her eyebrows, looking from one second to another at each of them, like she waited for some attack. she really was a pro, gun-woo said to himself. gun-woo had to admit that she was quite pretty. not like pretty girls from clubs or his high school and university, or the nurses at the marine, but some pretty girl that his mother would like to date him. he bent deep down. 

“we are sorry to disturb you, but we have a question. we don’t mean harm, we don’t intend to hurt you” he said fast, and the girl let go woo-jin after looking at the guy, and making sure he nodded. the girl turned, pointing to one of the restaurants. 

“can we talk while i eat? i just came out from training, i’m starving.” woo-jin and gun-woo nodded, following the girl. 

“so, what did you want to ask?” the girl began eating. woo-jin looked at gun-woo, who watched her dainty fingers grabbing the utensils. he sighed and took out the photo, placing it down to the table so the girl could see, she stopped eating instantly. pulling up her eyebrows, she distanced from the table a little bit. before any of the guys could talk, the girl began to speak fast and stark. “are you from the police? the secret service or some fucking spy-bullshit? what the fuck do you want from me? it doesn’t matter, i shouldn't talk to any of you, i’m not gonna do this shit. how did you get this photo of me?” gun-woo wanted to talk, but the anger in her eyes made his mouth shut. “doesn't matter, i hope i'll never see you again.” she began to pick up her things. gun-woo thought about hyeon-ju, sir choi, her mother, and the ugliest guy that beat him up that night in the coffee shop. 

“we just want to ask you about your name,” he spoke clear. “we’re just curious if you’re y/n or not. anyway, my name is gun-woo, and he’s woo-jin.”

“yeah, why? you probably know this because you have every information about me.” she replied, her chest rising and falling a little bit faster than usual. 

“no, we don’t. we… so, well… we know a man who’s name is sir choi. and her granddaughter… her granddaughter told us to meet you.” 

y/n looked around herself, like checking if someone else was there as a spy or some third wheeler, but when everybody was lazily chomping down on their dinner, being on their phone with some boring video or tweet, she slowly sat back down. sir choi’s name moved something in her, because she leaned closer to the guys. 

“if that’s what about i think it is about, then this is some serious shit. really, maybe the most serious shit in seoul’s money and business history, so if you truly mean sir choi’s name, than i really recommend you two to turn around and walk away from all of this. understood?” gun-woo sighed. 

“i think that i’m deeper in this than i wanted to”, he replied, the girl looked at him from under her lashes. 

“what do you mean? is this about loans?” gun-woo nodded, the girl looked up to the ceiling, sighing, letting out a long whisper of swearings. “then we aren't talking about the price of my dinner, aren't we?”  

“we don't talk about money, we talk about catching the men who are behind this.” woo-jin continued, y/n looked up at him, smiling sadly. 

“i hope that you are alright in the head, so you can understand that this is nearly impossible.” 

“it is not, believe us. we gonna find a man who’s in contact with them.” y/n sighed, looked to the side, looking at her phone. 

“how can i trust you two? really, anyone can talk to me about this, anyone who took loans from the old man.” “we found this photo of you in sir choi’s office.” 

“you two? how did you get into sir choi’s office? not even his closest people could get there.” gun-woo looked at woo-jin, sighing. 

“well, not us, but his granddaughter. her name is hyeon-ju, we are her so-called bodyguards.”

“i don’t know anyone who’s name is hyeon-ju. so, summing up, not sir choi, but his granddaughter wants to talk to me? why?” 

woo-jin looked at gun-woo. “can we talk a little bit?” 

“sure.” y/n responded, turning back to her food. woo-jin gulped. 

“should we tell her about the plan? yang jae-myeong? but what if hyeon-ju wants to tell her this?”

“i think she would understand it better if we told her. she doesn't know who we are, and sir choi’s name means something to her, but in this case, sir choi doesn't know about our mission.” woo-jin shrugged his shoulder, turning back to y/n. 

“it’s about catching a man who’s in connection with the loan-sharks, and the one smile capital. since hyeon-ju told us to find you, we think that you’d be interested to catch these guys.” 

“this is real, they have some repayments for me.” gun-woo somehow knew that this wasn't about money, but how could he ask when they knew each other for two hours? 

“so, are you in it, or not?” woo-jin leaned forward, offering his hand for a handshake. y/n pointed up her forefinger. 

“one talk. only one session with hyeon-ju, and then i decide whether i'm in or not.” she stated, woo-jin and gun-woo nodded, while they smiled lightly. looking at each other, they shared the ‘we made it’-look, making the girl scrunch her eyebrows. “okay then, where and when should we meet tomorrow? i guess this can't wait, if that’s so important that you found me.” y/n brushed her hair behind her ear, gun-woo didn’t miss the tattoos on her fingers, and the 

“maybe… tomorrow at noon? here, in front of this restaurant.” gun-woo offered, the girl nodded. 

“deal. see you guys tomorrow!” she said as she stood up, gun-woo stood up too. he didn't know why, he just felt that he needed to accompany the girl, no matter where she went home. 

“wait, y/n!” the girl turned around, woo-jin looked at him like he had some shock or something. “where… where do you go home?” 

‘to yongsan, and you?” she asked, gun-woo’s eyes lighted up. 

“me too. would you mind if i… so, maybe we can go home together?” he asked, hoping that the girl wouldn't mind. 

“yes, we can. goodbye, woo-jin!” she answered easily, bidding goodbye to the guy beside gun-woo. after she went out of the door, woo-jin began to lap gun-woo’s back. 

“aye, gun-woo! did little y/n just trickle some love into your heart?” he asked grinning, gun-woo shook his head. 

“no, it’s just… what if she gets into trouble at night? it’s dangerous.” gun-woo answered innocently, making woo-jin do a little ‘tsk’ in the corner of his mouth. 

“by her grabbing on my wrist before he almost punched me to death, the one who needs protection is me!” woo-jin dramatized the situation, pointing at his wrist. 

“she didn’t do anything, and she won’t again. she seems… peaceful.” 

“yeah, well, stopped beating me because she found his prince.” woo-jin continued the teasing by adding some eyelash flutter that girls do when they find someone really handsome, making gun-woo roll his eyes. “okay, well, just go. and tell me everything when you get home. or… if you haul up at hers. or i hope that your house has thick walls and your mother doesn’t mind the constant whining noise!” he giggled, having fun. he could tease his friend forever, now that this girl was in the picture. 

“woo-jin-ah! don’t do this!” gun-woo replied, making woo-jin laugh. 

“okay, okay! have fun, and bring her too! don’t forget to ask for her phone number!” 

“goodnight, woo-jin.” 

stepping out into the chilly night air, y/n waited for him. they began to walk to the bus station. gun-wo thought about what he should ask from her. family? no, that's too personal, and they just met today. he wasn’t good with girl stuff, only had one girlfriend and she dumped him after two months, when he applied to the marine. 

“so, since when do you box?” she asked, making gun-woo looking at her wondering. 

“how… how did you know that i box?” y/n snapped with her tongue, looking at him. she had pretty eyes, and although her mask was on, she seemed like this was the easiest question in her entire life. 

“when your friend grabbed my shoulder, his grip was firm, his palms are not too big, but they are strong. he lifted his other arm, just in case he needed to protect himself. i think i even saw your friend on the tv. you two are muscular, it can be seen from under jackets, but your legs’ aren't as muscular as your torso. in other martial arts, you need to train your legs too, to kick as strong as you can, but in boxing, you only use your arms. oh, and bodyguards are most of the time professional agents, but you two are young. or am i wrong?” 

gun-woo didn’t know how to respond, he wanted to tell her how cool it was to deduce what they did, just from looking at them. 

“no, you are right. and… hyeon-ju told us that you are a pro in many martial arts, so… since when do you train?” 

“since my childhood. it’s not that difficult, many movements and styles are similar.”

“did you fight competitively? like, in championships?” 

y/n shook her head. 

“no. only in gyms, i don’t like championships. you can get burned out easily. but i guess, since you asked that, you do championships. what is it like?” 

gun-woo smiled under his mask. y/n was really cute as she asked about him. otherwise, maybe he could never tell her these things. he wasn’t a man of words, and only a few times he knew what to say. 

“you would like it, really much. before covid, the arenas were filled with people, and the energies, the mood was really high and good.”

y/n hummed as they got on the bus, sitting beside each other. gun-woo protested that he should sit on the outer seat, and as y/n didn’t sense any dangers from him, she accepted and sat down. 

“i hope that this hyeon-ju girl is cool, because i had some cat fights with others in the last weeks. girl fight in the gyms, you know.”

“cat fights? with girls?” 

“yeah, but it wasn't so serious, i wondered where all the girls were, who'd ripped each other apart. a year ago, those fights were brutallic, like some freaking mma-cage fight, and now… at there, we say about these lazy gym-championships that there were no claws, but only strokes.” 

gun-woo snickered. 

“and these gym fights, do they pay well? or… do you work somewhere?” 

the girl looked at him, scanning him from bottom to top while leaning to the glass window, leaning on her elbow, tilting her head. “you don’t look like a drinker, so i don’t think we would meet at my workplace.”

“you're a bartender? woo-jin would like this! he likes to drink, sometimes, always saying how good he can bear alcohol.”

y/n laughed. 

“yeah, he looks like the typical tough guy who grew up on the bad side of the river, but when the two of you constantly looked at each other, i knew that he’s just as rookie as you.”

“yeah, that’s right. we began to work recently at sir choi, we are his granddaughter’s, hyeonju’s bodyguards. but she said she don’t need bodyguards.”

“but if she doesn’t need you, then how did you stay?” 

gun-woo sighed. 

“i… i begged for her to stay. i have a debt to work off to sir choi.” 

“oh, so you work down the loan sir choi gave you, and this is the way you are affected personally by these loans?” 

gun-woo thought about that night. when in-beom beat him up, when the boss threatened him not to call the police because his mother would end up dead, when he felt like he can’t do anything. looking at y/n, he didn’t want this girl to get involved in this business. gulping, gun-woo nodded. 

“yeah. my mother too.”

“you work for your mother and her protection? you take life danger upon yourself so that she doesn't get hurt?” y/n asked, pulling together her eyebrows. 

“we could say so.”

y/n sighed, looking forward, leaning back on the seat. looking at her hands, picking at the tattoos she had on her fingers. after a few seconds, she bent closer to gun-woo. she had dauntlessness and bravery in her eyes, without a blink of her eyelashes. her lashes were longer than usual, giving her the attitude on the outside as on the inside. pressing the get-off button of the bus, she gathered her bag in her lap. 

“i understand it now. in this case, count me in, too.” 

gun-woo looked at her. 

“why? you doesn’t even know what is this about, this is serious danger, y/n.” 

y/n shrugged her shoulders as gun-woo let her out from her seat, as they stood, y/n gave her a piece of paper. 

“because it’s personal for me, too. see you tomorrow, gun-woo.” 

gun-woo bent deep down as the bus stopped. 

“thanks, y/n, for talking to us, and not beating up woo-jin.”

y/n giggled, and bent slightly down too. 

“thank you for giving me an opportunity.”

as she got off, gun-woo sat back, folding out the paper. it was her number, they didn’t even ask for her number and she gave it to him! on the paper, there was a little message too. 

show this to hyeon-ju. you guys forget everything. make sure she notes my number. and don’t worry, we are going to figure this out, one way… or another. y/n. 

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃.

author's note: i hope you liked the first chapter. sorry for my english, it's not my first language, and i just got back to writing after a looong break. leave a like or comment if you liked it!! by babes

ask for taglist in comment or here

[quietblueriver]

hug (Kate/Yelena)

Yay, Kate/Yelena! A quick lil thing about them dancing around each other.

Thank you for the prompt and for giving me a reason to post my first venture into writing them. 💜🏹🕷

-

Lucky knows before she does. As soon as Kate opens the entry, he’s bounding up the stairs in the way he only does for food and a handful of people, so Kate isn’t exactly surprised to see a familiar form in a well-worn black leather jacket crouched down and scratching at his belly, blonde hair spilling out from under a rust-colored beanie. 

Her stomach flips anyway, as it does around Yelena these days. It’s kind of nice, to be doing a normal twenty-something crush thing. It’s kind of weird, to be doing it with a former Black Widow who came into her life via an assassination attempt on her partner/mentor and who may or may not be working for some pretty terrible people right now. 

That mixture is in line with the rest of her life recently. Because she’s Hawkeye. And that’s just how it is. 

(She can see Clint’s eyeroll in her mind and ignores it, as always.)

Anyway. Kate isn’t surprised to see Yelena but she is a little surprised that she’s outside of Kate’s apartment instead of in it, which is where Kate often stumbles on her if it’s a surprise visit or they’re not meeting out in the world—sprawled across her sofa or lurking in the corner like an absolute creep, ready and waiting with stupid fast reflexes and a crooked smile. 

The crooked smile is still there (the stupid fast reflexes, too, but those aren’t distractingly plastered across Yelena’s face) and Kate’s only a little bit jealous that it’s currently being directed at Lucky instead of her. 

If she thinks about it like someone else might, like basically anyone else might, it’s strange to see Yelena the Black Widow, Yelena the deadly mercenary, cooing at the Pizza Dog flopped belly-up in the dingy hallway outside Kate’s apartment, tufts of golden and white dog hair floating into the air and sticking to her black jeans. 

But she doesn’t think about it like anyone else, hasn’t thought about Yelena like anyone else since she shook her head at Kate on that rooftop. And that’s absolutely, totally stupid. She knows that. Kate’s very, very good at what she does. She’s the world’s greatest archer. She’s Hawkeye. 

But Yelena was a Black Widow. She was put through a whole bunch of very, very fucked up shit by a bunch of heinous people that she then escaped and also, apparently, destroyed. (Which, good riddance, and Kate is sad she never met Natasha for a million reasons but near the top of that list is the hug she’d like to give her for helping to demolish The Red Room.) 

All of that has made Yelena one of the best killers in the world. Yelena could absolutely kill her. Yelena nearly killed Clint. 

But Kate, for some reason (other than being, like, desperately gay for her, which is absolutely a thing that’s happening but which she wouldn’t let wreck her life as Hawkeye) trusts her. And more and more, she thinks she’s getting to know her. And like her. 

And she can’t help but feel like it’s a good thing. 

Clint trusted Natasha. Clint loved Natasha. And all it ever gave him was good. All it ever gave the world was good. So Kate’s jumping on the Hawkeye-and-Black-Widow bandwagon with an assassin of her own and if it gets messy she’ll deal with it later. 

Right now, she’s busy watching Yelena Belova, whose eyes crinkle when she laughs and who has a dog named Fanny and loves sour candy and The Muppets and the Thai place around the corner. Right now, she’s listening as Yelena praises the rescue dog who’s wriggling happily against her bent legs, tail thump-thumping against the floor. 

“Oh, you’re a very good boy. Very good. Very good.”

“I don’t know about that.” 

Crinkled green eyes meet hers as she finally steps closer, crouching down to join in the pets and letting herself stare at the slope of Yelena’s nose and the quirk of her lips for a second as Yelena’s eyes turn back to Lucky. 

Possibly she should be a little more discreet about her big gay crush but she’s only human and Yelena is stupidly beautiful and right here and smiling and it doesn’t matter if she gets caught, because it’s only Yelena here to catch her and Yelena definitely knows Kate has a big gay crush on her. She’s been trained to notice and track human behavior and also, Kate is not and never has been described as subtle. So whatever. Might as well lean in. 

She scratches at the spot that makes Lucky’s leg kick as she says, “Yesterday he rolled in trash sludge for a full minute before I could get him away, and we were both covered by the time we got home.”

It sucked. Kate’s joggers had been irredeemably corrupted by the New York City grime and her whole bathroom had needed a deep clean by the time she managed to get Lucky through a bath. 

“Why did you let him roll in the trash, Kate? He’s a dog. You’re a person. It is your responsibility to tell him no, yes?”

She’s smiling, and she’s clearly proud of herself, and Kate’s hand twitches with the desire to tuck some escaped hair behind her ear and also maybe definitely kiss her. She lets half the impulse win, because Yelena knows about her big gay crush and is still at her apartment and petting her dog and smiling at Kate and Kate has never been a coward. 

She moves slowly, an unspoken question, and Yelena doesn’t back away, so Kate keeps going. Her hair is soft, and Kate’s fingers catch in it as she tucks a few escaped strands back, the wool of her beanie scratching against her knuckles. Yelena’s staring at her, green eyes curious and open and Kate seriously thinks about letting the second part of her impulse win, too, but then Lucky’s head pops up between them, a distressed whine making his displeasure at the shift in focus known, and Kate blinks out of her thoughts and back into her gross hallway and decides now isn’t the time. She pulls back instead, presses to her feet and puts her key in the lock. 

When she looks back, a question on her tongue about Thai for dinner, she finds Yelena fully seated, arms around Lucky where he has leaned his entire body into her chest. 

She catches Kate staring, eyebrow raised, and shrugs, lifting one hand from Lucky’s shoulder to gesture at him. “He wanted a hug.” 

And she still doesn’t kiss her, because they’re still in the grungy hallway with its bad lighting and Kate’s needy dog and most importantly because they haven’t talked about it and Kate doesn’t want to rush any of this. But the desire to do it runs through her in a fierce way. 

Not now. But soon. She’s never been a coward, but she knows the dangers of letting the arrow loose too early. 

That’s the good thing, though. She’s Hawkeye. She’ll know when to take the shot.

[blue-grama]

A little Film/Jam requeim

Upon the news that these two are not planning any projects together in the future, I was pondering Thai actor pairings and why I liked this particular one. First let me say I'm very in favor of actors not getting joined at the hip forever -- I doubt that's why anyone gets into acting, and while I get the financial reasons this happens in Thai entertainment, I'm generally in agreement that it tends to limit creativity, since the brand often has to come before the story. My only gripe is that now they're off doing lakorns that will never get subbed in English and it's not fair and look, I need to see The Empress of Ayodhaya ok?? I don't think it's a bad thing to have actors with great chemistry appear together in multiple shows, however, and I wanna say that I think these two used that opportunity right. Look, we have Tian:

Utter cinammon roll, too pure for this world, total sweetheart. He's a little scared and a lot beaten down, but he still has a burning spark of respect for himself that he doesn't let extinguish. He spends 73% of this show in the throes of a mental breakdown but still manages to take control of his narrative in the end. It's actively insane that the murder glitter show has such fantastic characters.

And then you have Charn, who is...

... also beaten down by this world, but evil about it. It's all manipulation, manwhoring, and complicated smiles belaying his real feelings with this guy. Refreshingly, he only has to reform himself a little bit to get his happy ending.

Meanwhile, Jiu. Assassin, kind of a tsundere. Marshmallow center, obviously. I'll never be over how after he and Tian first had sex (under the influence of a beetle fungus, OBVIOUSLY), he got deeply hurt that Tian said it was a mistake and accused Tian of doing this to all the boys. Possibly my favorite Jiu moment. ANYWAY.

There isn't as much distance between Jiu and Tinn as there is between Tian and Charn (from what I've seen, Jam maybe doesn't have quite as much range as Film, or at least hasn't been asked to demonstrate it). But Tinn is a more open and straightforward character, the moral center of Laws of Attraction versus a guy who assassinates several people with scissors without remorse in Khun Chai.

Point is, we don't always get this with repeated actor pairings. A lot of the time, you have an underlying dynamic that comes through in all the pair's shows, and it can't wander too far from its origins - I was thinking about this specifically with regards to Only Friends after listening to this excellent debut of the Part 5 (of 4) podcast, which talks about the way Force's Top turned into a completely flat character, possibly because "interesting" would conflict with the whole True Love ForceBook dynamic that GMMTV needs to sell. An appealing dynamic can be great -- hey, I read fanfic, I get the joy of putting the same guy in situations -- but I really liked how Film and Jam went with/were given quite different characters in their two projects together. This could be a lakorn vs. BL thing, but it'd be cool to see more paired actors take on more disparate roles together!

My disappointment over no more shows from these two comes down to wishing I could see what else they might pull off. Jam as the rich jerk instead of Film? Both of them playing morally grey? It could have been fun.

Oh well; I'll just be over here lighting candles for English subs from One31, because at least this hot murderous royalty nonsense looks exquisite.

And if you've read this far, please feel free to drop me recs in the tags or comments of other pairs that have played really different roles or dynamics with each other. I love seeing actors show their range!

[heaven-s-black-box]

Reason- Ensemble & Dan Feng's child!Reader

Return to File

Recovery date: April 20th, 2024

Description: Hello. I'm sorry if this is sudden but I was wondering if you took story requests and if you do, could you please make a platonic Dan Heng story with the reader being the child of his previous incarnation Dan Feng by using his own DNA along with a normal woman's, the reader's existence was kept top secret and no one really suspected anything because the readers appearance was more human than Vidyadhara, and they were only a baby when everything happened so they didn't really get the chance to know their father. I was also kind of inspired by the 1.5 quest with the heliobi and the reader goes through a similar situation to Bailu but the team saw some of the reader's childhood memories which weren't the happiest.

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with an anonymous researcher, we thank them for their contributions. I definitely didn't forget about the Dan Heng part of this story... nope. I still like how this came out though, and if you'd like you can request a part two. Prequel is here.

Word count: 1 273

Back to directory

Caelus was a little surprised to get a message from the general, asking the ghost hunting squad to meet him at a certain address. For one, the general was giving them free reign with the Helobi situation, secondly if there was an issue he would surely post on teh forum, and lastly Caelus didn’t recognize the location.

Preparing for a trap, the squad arrived at the location. It was a private residential area that Sushang led them to. The trailblazer knocked on the door as the other three anxiously waited behind him. Huohuo kept looking round for an ambush, while Sushang held her sword tightly and Guinaifen stayed close behind him.

Jing Yuan opened the door with a tired smile and ushered them in. He took them to a living room with tea and sat them down.

“I need your help.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, general,” Guinaifen asked, “why didn’t you just make a post?”

“Ah, well, this mission is a bit more sensitive and cannot be reported on, even if you twist the truth in your post.”

“Is it about Y/n?” Huohuo asks.

The other three ghost hunters turn to her in confusion as she slaps a hand over her mouth.

“Yes. I believe they’ve been possessed.”

“Who’s Y/n?”

Jing Yuan shifted awkwardly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of his tea. Huohuo also hid behind her cup, avoiding everyone else’s gaze as they looked between the two.

“Everything I’m about to tell you,” Jing Yuan sighed, setting down his cup, “is incredibly confidential, and the only reason I’m sharing this is because I believe it will help you save them.”

---

This Helobi dimension was… nice, oddly so. All of the other Helobi dimensions were dark and gray, with a blue tint from the lights. It was eerie, as expected. So thai was even more unsettling.

Everything was bright and colorful; they were in a garden on a bright sunny day.

“Isn’t this… I feeling like I’ve seen this place before,” Shushang mumbled as they looked around.

“I have made my decisions,” Jing Yuan’s stern voice boomed across the garden.

The four rounded a high section of bamboo to find Jing Yuan standing in front of a few Vidyahara’s. They all seemed on edge, the Vidyahara’s were scowling and the general’s shoulders were clearly raised.

Cautiously, the ghost hunters shuffled around to get a better view.

“That’s Y/n,” Huohuo whispered, pointing at a young child Jing Yuan had pressed against him.

The child’s ears were covered by Jing Yuan as the elders tried to convince the general to hand them over.

“I will not allow you to punish them for the sins of their father,” the general practically growled, being careful not to raise his voice.

He’d tried sending them off, but the elders had gotten in his way. So instead he was using his body to shield them as much as possible.

Y/n turned their head and noticed the group of ghost hunters. Their eyes widened and they buried themself closer to Jing Yuan.

“They should not even exist!” One of the elders yelled.

Jing Yuan gnawed at the inside of his cheek. He was in no position to argue with them about that, it was a matter of the Vidyadhara culture after all. Dan Feng had always been one to help others, and so when someone had approached him about the viability of a Vidyadhar/Xianzhou native hybrid for interspecies couples, he’d been open to the idea. He was the high elder, it was his responsibility to make decisions in the best interest of the Vidyadhara and the relationship with the Xianzhou.

The first test was not supposed to work nearly as well as it did, a human embryo with Vidyadhara DNA should not have developed as well as it did, but it did.

Their gestation period was nearly as long as a Vidyadhara rebirth cycle, out running both the scientist’s life and Dan Feng’s.

“We should have terminated this experiment after Dan Feng’s execution!”

“I will not comment on the cultural significance of this, however I will not allow you to speak about my charge like that, much less in front of them!”

A quiet sniff came from in front of him.”

“What do we do?” Guinaifen asked. “We’ve never been in someone’s memories before.”

“This isn’t their memories,” Huohuo whispered back, “this is just an illusion created by the Hellobus.”

Caelus stepped forward, catching Y/n attention. Their eyes were red and teary as they sniffed and hiccuped, clingy to Jing Yuan. No one else seemed to notice him, so he stepped forward again.

That caught the attention of the Vidyadhara who snapped their gaze towards him. He shifted his grip on his bat, ready for a fight, but the elders turned to Y/n instead.

“I mean really, why are you even alive?”

“I don’t…” a soft voice spoke up, muffled by Jing Yuan’s uniform. “I don’t know.”

“Why do you need a reason to live?” Caelus asked.

“You’re just a burden. Most of your kind doesn’t even know you exist, and those that do hate you. You’ll never be a regular Xianzhou native. You will outlive everyone you lov-”

Caelus slammed his bat into the elders head, cutting him off.

The man stumbled back before turning back into a Helobus as the other illusions disappeared in blue wisps. Around them the garden turned into a dark street on the Luofu. Shushang grabbed the small Y/n and brought them back to the other two as they continued quietly sobbing while Caelus captured the Hellobus.

“I-It’s okay,” Huohuo tried to comfort them, her own eyes welling with tears.

Guinaifen pulled them into a tight hug, letting the young hybrid sob into the performer's shoulder.

“Hey,” Caelus called softly.

He crouched down to Y/n’s level as they hiccuped and sniffled, pulling slightly away from Guinaifen. The trailblazer handed the captured Helobus to Huohuo, then turned his attention to the frightened child.

“Y/n, right?”

They nodded, rubbing the tears from their eyes. Caelus grabbed their hand and used the hem of his shirt to dry their tears.

“It’s scary not knowing anything about yourself, isn’t it?”

“Ye-yes,” they hiccuped.

“You didn’t answer my question before. Why do you need a reason to live?”

“Because… I just do.”

“Then, how about we pick something?”

The world around them began to disintegrate without the Helobus free.

“How about…”

---

“Dan Heng?” Caelus called, knocking on the archive door.

“Come in.”

Caleus slid the door open, and the man looked up from his computer. Standing in his doorway was not Caelus but rather an unfamiliar child who looked to be a similar age to Yanqing. The kid shifted awkwardly, looking back at Caelus who gently nudged them forward.

Dan Heng turned his chair around and made his way over, causing Y/n to press themself back against Caelus. He stopped.

“You must be Y/n.”

“Yes sir.”

Y/n’s hand twisted their sleeve awkwardly as Dan Heng extended a hand. They hesitantly took it.

“Would you like to look through the archives? I could use some help filling in the information about the Luofu.”

They looked back at Caelus who shrugged, then turned to Dan Heng.

“Okay.” They stepped towards the younger man and followed him towards the computer. “Are you…” Dan Heng stopped flipping through the archive. “Are you my dad?”

“No, but,” he looked thoughtful for a moment, “I could be your brother?”

A wide grin spread across their face as they nodded happily. “Yes please!”

How about we find some answers?

[jewreallythinkthat]

I’ve seen you mention a few times about having problems with standing together. If you don’t mind, could you go further into detail about that? I’m not super familiar with the organisation, but from what I’ve seen and heard they seem to be pretty good (especially now that they’re trying to deliver aid into Gaza)

Yeah for sure.

I think their aim to have peace, a Palestinian state, and the attempt to bring food to Gaza is really important and admirable. In theory, they stand for pretty much everything I do.

The problem is the way they go about achieving some of their aims, I feel, is incredibly devisive and finger-pointy-blame-slinging. For example, this was their statement on 7/10

Hamas terrorists were still in Israel committing their (officially classed as a genocidal) attack and ST were already demonising Israel. The entirety of the second paragraph is not necessary. The inability to outright condemn the barbaric nature of what happened, without also condemning Israel at the same time is not something I can get on board with. There is no justification for what was done. None.

Anyone with a brain, especially left wing Jews and Israelis know that the occupation of the West Bank, and the Gaza situation (which once again, Egypt are also involved with) are unsustainable and there is absolutely further discussion, protest, and debate to be had over how to get the fucking settlers out of the West Bank, set up a successful Palestinian state, make Gaza livable again in the fastest way possible, and obtain a sustainable peace in the region but in a statement condemning the biggest single slaughter of Jews (along with Palestinians, Thai nationals, and multiple other peoples), that was not the time.

I also found the immediate and aggressive personal attack against Hen Mazzig when he posted about an LGBT+ issue unbelievably distateful. I will admit that Hen's wording was certainly.... A little point scorey.... But the actual event he was talking about was a big deal. I think having a direct go at a gay man, including an impressive case study worthy example of the Straw Man argument, when talking about an LGBT+ issue is unacceptable. It frankly came across as a personal vendetta and incredibly childish.

The other thing that frustrates me is that as a Palestinian-Israeli joint group, the only people I ever see ST calling out, insulting, and demeaning are Israelis. They (from what I see) do not condemn the PA or other Palestinian groups at all and while the current Israeli administration are reprehensible in their behaviour, it takes two to tango and they are not the only ones in the wrong. If you are building a solidarity movement, you need to call out both sides for being shitty. If you don't, it's not a solidarity movement IMOH.

All that being said, I do think there is a lot of good that ST do, I just wish they would take people's concerns with their behaviour at times as a genuine thing that people want them to better about rather than immediately going on the defensive and shutting any attempt at discussion. It feels like they refuse to take any criticism, no matter how valid it is as if they are the only people trying to end this.

I hope this answers the question a bit. (Basically, as always, it's complicated 🙃)

[inawickedlittletown]

You Can Find Me Where the Skies are Blue (BuckTommy fic) - 4/7

Summary:

Soulmates are rare. So rare that it's actually incredible that Buck has two soulmate couples in his life. Statistics tell him it's very unlikely for him to meet his soulmate. Of course, then he meets Tommy. Too bad it happens at the worst possible moment.

Canon compliant soulmate AU where Buck is still a mess and Tommy is still very understanding.

Words: 4,716

Ao3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

-

Part Four

Eddie’s Chevelle was gorgeous. Old cars just had something about them that gave them so much more character than anything more modern. She was in good condition, too, had probably spent little time out in the sun or other weather. Tommy was more than a little impressed. 

He had Eddie drive her into the garage and right onto the lift even if he didn’t intend to lift her up just yet. Instead, he opened the hood. Eddie joined him. 

“Car’s in great condition,” Tommy said. 

“My Abuela kept it mostly in the garage with a cover. It actually belonged to my Abuelo and she couldn’t get rid of it. But once she decided to move back to Texas, she figured it was time and passed it to me.” 

“I’m gonna take a quick look,” Tommy said. “See if I find anything that needs work.”

“Sure,” Eddie said, and when Tommy looked away from the car found that Eddie had started to wander. 

Tommy didn’t mind. His garage doubled as his home gym and he was sure that a guy like Eddie might appreciate his set up from his mats to the bench press and his weights to the punching bag that Tommy had added most recently. 

“I gotta say, you really got a nice set up here,” Eddie said, returning to where Tommy was tinkering with the car. “I’ve always wanted to do something at my place but I really don’t have the space.”

Eddie wasn’t wrong that the Chevelle needed a little bit of a tune up, but it really was in good condition. Whatever Eddie had been doing, he’d been keeping up with the maintenance. 

“I got kind of tired of going to an actual gym,” Tommy said. “Between this and what we have at work I get all the exercise I need. Of course, there’s no machine or punching bag that can take the place of a real person for sparring.” 

That seemed to catch Eddie’s interest. “Wait, do you do MMA?” 

“Muay Thai,” Tommy supplied. 

Eddie grinned at him. “I think you just found a sparring partner.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Absolutely,” Eddie said. 

Tommy felt his excitement too. 

By the time that Eddie left, his car’s engine sounded better than it had when it arrived and Tommy was left behind just a little bit sweatier with the satisfaction of having taken Eddie down. The singular thing that brought him down was knowing that Evan had yet to answer his text. 

Tommy didn’t want to be pushy. He didn’t want to overwhelm Evan. He figured he’d give him until the start of his shift and then text him again. If that failed, then there was always Wednesday night. 

Before Eddie left, Tommy had made a point of inviting him out to the bar for karaoke night. He had also made a point of insisting that Eddie invite Hen and Chim and of course Evan and even Bobby if Bobby could be persuaded to show up. Significant others welcome too. It’d be nice to see everyone again of course, but his real goal was Evan. In that setting, Tommy would find some way to get him off to the side and then they could really talk or make plans to talk. Whatever worked, The point was seeing him again and Tommy was not above making it happen in a roundabout way. 

Eddie had been happy to agree and he’d also gotten Tommy to agree to go with him to a pick up basketball game that some firefighters had put together. Tommy figured it’d be fun. 

After a shower to wash off the sweat, Tommy finally dealt with Lucy, calling her because that seemed a lot easier. 

She picked up after one ring. “Evan Buckley,” she said. 

“Yeah. Evan Buckley.”

Lucy laughed. “I’m actually…the more I’ve thought about it the more I kinda see it. I just had no idea Buck swung that way. Not that it ever came up. He had a girlfriend when I worked with him. That chick that wrote that book about firefighters that kinda blew up for a minute.” 

Tommy could picture the book in his mind. He remembered it because it had been literally everywhere. Someone had even brought a few copies into Harbor. There was still some kind of ongoing legal battle about it from LAFD’s end which was kinda hilarious. 

“He dated that woman?” Tommy asked. 

“Yeah…I know,” Lucy said. “I don’t think even he liked her very much. I mean…he kinda cheated on her.” 

“And you know this how?” Tommy asked. His heart was racing. 

“Because on the night I met Buck we got really drunk of tequila and maybe we got a bit flirty and he never told me he had a girlfriend and I kissed him. I wanted…well, I wanted you to know. We never really talked about it and it never happened again.” 

“Did you want it to?” 

Lucy let out a sigh. “Yes. No. He’s hot, can you blame me? The point is he never pursued it and I backed off. And we were really drunk. And now he’s your soulmate.” 

“And he’s straight,” Tommy said. “Might mean you still have a shot.” He hated the words even as he said them. 

Maybe it was a result of being deep in the closet and not getting to experience any real firsts until his late twenties — and even then it hadn’t been out in the open — but Tommy had never gotten good at telling when someone was queer unless they were being very loud about it. He’d always been a little shocked when approached by a guy that clocked him because Tommy didn’t think he ever really gave that vibe. So, he really had no idea when it came to Evan. Except that he was his soulmate. 

“You don’t know that,” Lucy said. “Just because he’s only been with women in the past…”

“Soulmates are not always romantic,” Tommy said. 

“You don’t know that,” Lucy said. 

“Lucy,” Tommy said. “That’s…no, just look at the numbers. There are plenty of platonic soulmates. If that is what Evan and I are then that’s fine too. I’ve been realizing lately just how lonely I really am.” 

It was true. Between not having anyone to really tell about finding his soulmate and finding so much enjoyment in hanging out with Eddie and the way that he did feel a little bit like he’d missed out on something when he left the 118, Tommy had realized that he had sort of settled for being on his own. It wasn’t that he hated it, but it did get lonely. He knew Evan would change that — they were soulmates after all — it was just that Tommy didn’t want to put all of that on Evan. The pressure of meaning absolutely everything. 

“However this turns out,” Lucy said, “I got your back, Kinard.” 

—

Buck spent the first hour on shift trying his hardest to keep from asking Eddie about how the night before had gone with Tommy. He’d seen the text from Tommy when he woke up that morning, had felt warm reading it and realizing that Tommy really was interested in getting to know him and yet he hadn’t known what to text back. As rude as it felt to just leave it, he figured he would respond sometime during the day and that Tommy would just have to wait. Maybe it was a little bit petty too, but Buck didn’t care. 

When he saw Eddie in the locker room he almost asked then, but held himself back. He was grateful to Ravi asking Chim questions about the wedding. It had also kept Hen from making any comments, though Buck had caught her making eyes at him a few times once they were all up on the loft like she was trying to communicate to Buck that they should talk. 

When he couldn’t hold it in any longer, they were on a call. It was only him, Eddie, and Ravi because Hen and Chim had gone as an additional RA to another scene. It felt like the right time and place to bring it up. 

“Uh. Hey, you never said. How was Vegas?” Buck ventured to ask. 

“Quick trip,” Eddie said as if it was the type of thing that he did normally when Buck knew for a fact it wasn’t.

“I’ll bet. How long does it take to chopper there?” 

“One hour,” Eddie said.

“You took a chopper to Vegas?” Ravi asked. 

“And how was the fight?” Buck asked, ignoring Ravi. 

“Fight was okay. Seats were amazing. Tommy’s buddies with the promoter so we were ringside. Felt like I was the one throwing the punches.” 

Maybe it would have been fun to be there, but it really wasn’t Buck’s thing. He didn’t see the appeal to watching two people try to pummel each other. 

“Who’s Tommy?” he heard Ravi ask. 

My soulmate, Buck wanted to answer. He held it in. He felt a bit foolish maybe or embarrassed that he hadn’t told Eddie. Not that they’d had any time to talk lately. He didn’t want to just drop the information while walking into a restaurant for a call that dispatch hadn’t been sure wasn’t a prank. 

As it turned out, it wasn’t a prank. They called it in to dispatch even though the restaurant manager had already called the police. Ravi had gone down there and Buck wanted to continue the conversation. 

“I’m not surprised you had a great time in Vegas,” Buck ventured. “You and Tommy have a lot of things in common. Both in the Army. Both like watching half naked men pummel each other.”

As he listed it, it also dawned on him that he and Tommy didn’t have those things in common and maybe not even other things. He knew, logically, that people could have different interests. Buck and Eddie were good friends and they weren’t into the same things. Chim and Maddie had their own hobbies too. And though he could have very long discussions about cosmic things revolving black holes and time dilation and why exactly Pluto wasn’t a planet with Karen, Hen tended to just tune them out. Still, it left something of a bad taste in his mouth to know that Eddie and Tommy had bonded that much when he hadn’t even gotten a chance. 

“Tommy’s pretty cool,” Eddie said. “It’s been a while since I met someone who can go toe to toe with me in muay thai.” 

That caught Buck short. How many times had Eddie hung out with Tommy? They did all meet the same night right? He wasn’t crazy to feel like things weren’t adding up. He hated the way that it twisted at his gut, how it made him feel uncomfortable. 

“Uh, you guys went to muay thai together?” 

“He’s got a set up in his garage. We sparred a bit when I took the Chevelle over.” 

“You…you took the Chevelle over?” Buck asked and he hoped his voice didn’t give away his feelings. 

Eddie had even gone over to Tommy’s? When had Eddie even had the time? It had barely been a whole week since they met Tommy. 

“Yeah, he’s got a car lift. The guy really knows his engines. You should hear that thing purr now.” 

Buck had seen the Chevelle all of twice since Eddie took custody of it. It was a beautiful car, well preserved for its age. He’d sat in the passenger seat while Eddie drove them around and while he’d appreciated the car, it hadn’t really held his interest. He’d never been much of a car guy. 

After his Jeep was flooded during the hurricane, he’d just gone through the process of replacing it through insurance. He hadn’t even thought about getting a different car. He only really had a Jeep in the first place since Maddie had given him her Jeep as a way to escape their parents. That car had gotten him pretty far until Buck sold it and used the money to travel down to South America. When he moved back and needed a car, he’d just figured a Jeep would do and he’d stuck to that ever since. 

They checked in with Ravi, and Buck was so glad that he wasn’t the one down there, though maybe it would have been preferable to talking to Eddie about Tommy. 

“Well, listen, I — I think it’s great,” Buck said and maybe it was. He did want his best friend and his soulmate to get along. “You know, you can’t have enough friends right?” 

“Right,” Eddie said. “You know, it’s like that thing when you meet somebody and you just click. You know what I mean? Kinda like the soulmate thing. You meet someone and you just know you want them in your life or however it is that works.”

Buck felt like his stomach give a turn. 

“I do,” Buck said. “I really do.” 

The feeling in his stomach, the churning and twisting intensified. He knew exactly what it felt like, the instant connection that Eddie was talking about and it was so much more than the bond between two people that had similar hobbies. It didn’t change that Buck downright hated it. How dare Eddie just swoop in and become more interesting to Buck’s own soulmate? 

“So, when do you think you’ll see him again?” Buck ventured to ask, hoping that Eddie didn’t already have plans with Tommy. 

“He’s got this Karaoke bar trivia thing on Wednesday,” Eddie said. 

Buck saw an opening. He was ready to invite himself along. The words were ready, but Eddie spoke first. 

“Hey, what are you doing Wednesday?” Eddie asked and Buck felt hopeful because if Eddie invited him along then he and Tommy could possibly get some time to talk. It’d be perfect. 

“Me? Uh, yeah, no I’m free. Totally free Wednesday.” 

“Do you think you could watch Christopher for me?” 

Disappointment hit him almost exactly like the guy they were rescuing had been hit. A car driving too fast with a driver too irresponsible to accept consequences. Eddie was the driver and he’d just swept Buck into a sewer. When he agreed, it felt like resignation. This was Buck’s role…the babysitter while Eddie went out and had fun with Buck’s very own soulmate. He knew that if he said something about Tommy being his soulmate that Eddie would back off, but Buck didn’t want that. He didn’t want to get to Tommy because Eddie canceled their plans not to mention that he didn’t want to tell Eddie this way. 

When they got back to the 118, Buck didn’t stick around to talk to Eddie. He found Bobby cooking and after the weeks where he’d been gone on that cruise, it was a very welcome sight. This was where Bobby belonged. 

“You alright, Buck?” Bobby asked. 

Of course he could tell that something was up. It was something of Bobby’s superpower. One of the things that made him an amazing Captain and maybe what had drawn Buck to open up to him. 

“What do you think about soulmates?” Buck asked. 

“Soulmates,” Bobby said. “I guess it isn’t something we’ve ever discussed. What brings this on?” 

“Just…I guess I was thinking about it. Was, uh, wondering what you thought about it.”

“Is this another one of your late night research things?” Bobby asked with an amused smile. 

Buck shrugged. “I guess it’s just interesting…like the idea that two people could ever just fit that well together. I was reading about Plato’s Symposium because that’s one of the earliest things we have about explaining it even though there’s so many records that were kept about people meeting their soulmates. It’s why there can even be a claim about how fewer soulmate meetings there are. In the Symposium, Aristophane explains love and soulmates like the gods splitting souls in half as a punishment for humanity. So we walk around trying to find the other half of our souls to then finally become complete.”

“That’s interesting,” Bobby said. “It’s a little mythical. A story.” 

“Well, yeah,” Buck said, “but soulmates are real even if only a portion of the population ever manages to find their soulmates.”

Bobby nodded, thoughtfully. “There are stories within every culture and within many religions. Some people put more meaning to it, but I don’t think not being soulmates with someone devalues that relationship.”

“I know,” Buck said. “You and Athena…it’s amazing.”

“It isn’t perfect,” Bobby said. “All relationships need work. Even when you are soulmates. What else did you find?” 

Research was what he did when he was worrying about something. Information was everything to Buck. He loved talking about the things he found and everyone at the 118 had been subjected to Buck’s info dumps. Sometimes, if relevant, he could even bring things up during calls. 

“Well, I started to look at platonic soulmates,” Buck said. 

Bobby looked a bit taken aback. “Platonic soulmates,” he repeated. 

“Yeah,” Buck said, letting out a nervous breath. “Most of them are same sex soulmates. Which I think is a bit of historical erasure to keep everything heterosexual. But I guess it does happen. There are a few these days that say they’re platonic…I just wondered about it like how if you find your soulmate, there is no way any other relationship could ever mean as much, could it?” 

Bobby smiled at him. “I think every friendship and every relationship is different for everyone, Buck. We each have a lot of love to give.”

“Yeah,” Buck said. 

“I guess think about it like this,” Bobby said, “Chimney and Maddie are soulmates and things haven’t been perfect for them. They love each other. They also both love Jee and the love they each hold for their daughter is not diminished because they are soulmates. So yes, maybe it is possible that someone can find their soulmate and still lead a romantic relationship with someone else.”

Buck hadn’t thought about it that way. He realized it was different. A parent’s love was different, but Bobby did have a point. Somehow he still felt just a little strange at the thought that Tommy could be his soulmate and still have a girlfriend or a wife…that Buck could do the same. Something about it felt wrong, he just had no idea why. 

“Why is it you’re worrying about this?” Bobby asked. 

Bobby really did know him too well. It wasn’t that Buck hadn’t intended to tell Bobby, it was that he was still trying to figure it all out for himself. But maybe that was part of the problem, Buck needed to communicate more. 

“I met my soulmate, Bobby,” Buck said. 

“Buck, that’s great,” Bobby said. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. “I thought so at first, but I just…it’s a dude and I mean, this has to be platonic, right? I’m not…I love women. Not that it even matters maybe because he’s busy hanging out with someone else.” 

“Ah,” Bobby said. “It’s still a good thing, Buck. You found your soulmate…whatever that looks like for the two of you, I’m happy for you.” 

“Thanks, Bobby. I just hate not knowing.” 

“Not knowing?” 

“We’ve barely talked. I just want…I guess I just want all of this to be figured out already.” 

Bobby chuckled. “Buck, you know by now that nothing works like that.” 

Buck sighed. He dropped his head. “This should be the easy thing, though, shouldn’t it be?” 

“Eventually it might very well be.” 

Buck wanted nothing more than to hold onto that. 

—

Wednesday night, Tommy took a little longer than usual getting ready. He went through a few different shirts until finally settling on a blue henley, threw on a brown leather jacket over it and touched up his hair. He hoped he didn’t look like he was trying too hard. It was just that things hadn’t exactly gone right the first time he and Evan got together after their first meeting. His fault entirely. Looking back, Tommy should have pushed that meeting to a day when he didn’t already have plans even if it meant waiting a little longer to see him.  

Eddie had never confirmed whether Evan was coming, but when they texted earlier, Tommy had reiterated that Eddie should invite Evan, Hen, and Chim along. Eddie had only sent back a thumbs up, but Tommy was hopeful. After all, he had finally gotten a response from Evan. 

Evan: Thank you for the message. I hope we can get that beer soon whenever you’re not busy. 

Tommy took it to mean that maybe Evan was coming along with Eddie, but that he didn’t want to say it outright. So, he took a bit of extra time on his appearance and then he left for the bar a bit on the early side. He was excited, not nervous. 

Tommy had thought about inviting Lucy along, especially since she already knew everyone. Except that she would be a menace when it came to him and Evan and neither of them needed that. Hen knew about it, he had yet to text her back after her message of congratulations but maybe that was another reason to see her in person. Tommy was also pretty sure that Eddie had no idea. Since Chim hadn’t reached out, it also figured it was unlikely that he was aware. Tommy did find it a little curious that despite Eddie claiming to be Evan’s best friend, Evan hadn’t told him about finding his soulmate. 

Wednesday nights with the karaoke aspects meant that the bar was a little busier. The girl setting up the karaoke machine already had her sign up sheet out and a few people had signed up to sing. Tommy didn’t know if he would. He wasn’t exactly the best singer, but that wasn’t the point of karaoke and it had never stopped him in the past. It was just that…well, he didn’t want to make an ass of himself in front of Evan. 

Eddie arrived some fifteen minutes later, completely on his own. 

“Hey, man,” he said and they bumped fists before Eddie sat down. “Didn’t get a drink yet? I’ll get us a couple of beers.” 

“Uh, sure,” Tommy said and he didn’t pretend that he didn’t look towards the door to see if Evan would walk in. He perked up every time the door opened, but it wasn’t anyone from the 118. 

When Eddie got back, he had two bottles in hand and the waitress behind him brought over two shots of some yellow looking liquid. 

“Courage to get us singing,” Eddie said with a grin. 

After the waitress left they lifted the shot glasses and downed them in one. Whatever Eddie had picked, it was both sweet and very very alcoholic. Tommy coughed afterwards and he thought that Eddie’s eyes were watering. 

“What was that?” 

“No idea,” Eddie said. “It had a funny name.” 

Tommy laughed. “Next time, stick to vodka or rum.” 

“Not tequila?” 

“I can’t say I’m a fan of the aftermath.” 

Eddie laughed. 

Tommy gave it some time. Eddie started telling him about the call they’d had the day before with a guy needing to be rescued from the sewer. Tommy had missed the weird and crazy things that you got called to as a firefighter or paramedic. As a pilot, he spent more time flying than doing any of the rescuing and sometimes he did miss being part of the action instead of just being a part of the transport. 

“Hey, is anyone else coming?” Tommy asked when enough time had gone by. 

“Oh. Hen and Karen are taking in a foster kid soon so they had a meeting with someone. Chim is busy with wedding planning.” 

“And what about Evan?” 

“Buck? Oh…he’s actually watching Christopher.” 

It took a moment for it to sink in. Eddie was taking a gulp of his drink and his attention was on the stage where the mic was being set up. Lights shone down in multiple colors. Any minute now they would start with the first on the list. There was a small crowd gathering over the folder that held the list of songs available. 

Evan wasn’t coming. 

Tommy was more than a little disappointed. 

Evan wasn’t coming because Eddie had him babysitting his kid. Tommy didn’t want to be there anymore. The whole night…it felt pointless. He’d gone through so many shirts for the possibility of seeing Evan and even though Eddie had never said he was coming, Tommy had sort of told himself that of course Evan would. He’d wanted to see Hen and Chim too, maybe not as much as Evan, but he had definitely wanted to see them. 

There was one other thing, though. Tommy knew he couldn’t blame Eddie…it was just that with the other day and the fight he had no idea what this might look like to Evan. 

“Did Evan know this was why he’s babysitting?” Tommy asked. “Us going out tonight?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I mentioned it. He was happy to babysit. Didn’t have anything else going on.” 

Eddie was absolutely clueless. 

Evan’s text from earlier suddenly had an entirely different connotation and Tommy knew he had a choice. He could stay and hang out with Eddie and spend the whole night thinking about Evan…or he could fix it. 

“I really was looking forward to seeing everyone,” Tommy said. “That's why I suggested this in the first place.” 

“Oh,” Eddie said. 

“In fact, there is someone that I actually really do have to see tonight. Right now, in fact.” 

“What are you talking about?” Eddie asked. 

Tommy didn’t know how Evan would feel about it, but it was his truth to tell as well. So, he looked straight at Eddie. 

“I met my soulmate and I need to see him tonight.” 

“You met your soulmate,” Eddie said, awe in his voice. “That’s awesome. So why are you here right now? Hell, if I’d met my soulmate I wouldn’t be out with anyone else.” 

Tommy chuckled. “Because I was counting on him being here.”

“Him,” Eddie said and Tommy could see his mind trying to fixate that to what he knew about Tommy. 

“Yes. Is that a problem, Eddie?” 

“No,” Eddie said immediately. “No. Of course not. I just didn’t realize you were…gay? Bi?”

“Gay,” Tommy said. 

Eddie nodded. “Alright. Yeah, no problem with that.” 

Tommy sighed. He didn’t want to correct Eddie on what Tommy’s soulmate bond might be, but he did like how easily Eddie just took Tommy coming out to him. 

“So I need you to do me a favor, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, anything,” Eddie said. “Though I don’t know how I can help.” 

Tommy chuckled. “I need you to drive us to your house.”

“Tommy that—”

“I just need you to drive us or give me your address so I can take an uber there.” 

“But why do you need to go to my house?” 

Tommy just stared at him. Eddie raised his bottle to his lips and he was drinking when it seemed to start to click. Tommy didn’t have time for it, though. 

“We need to go to your house so you can stay with your kid and I can talk to Evan,” Tommy said

Eddie still didn’t seem to connect the dots. “Why would you need to talk to Buck?” 

“Maybe because Evan is my soulmate,” Tommy said. “And when I asked you to invite him and the others tonight it was so that I could talk to him. But now he’s babysitting and I’m hanging out with you. So I need to talk to Evan,” 

As Eddie finally came to the right conclusion. His mouth opening into an “oh” of surprise. 

“You see, I’ve kinda left him before to hang out with you so…”

“So you gotta talk to Buck,” Eddie said. 

Eddie took care of their tab and meanwhile two skinny girls had made it onto the stage as the first ones to take on a song. They were giggling nervously, clearly not drunk enough yet. He and Eddie walked out of the bar as the first notes were starting. 

“Wait,” Eddie said once they were in the parking lot. 

“Yes?” 

“But Buck isn’t gay,” Eddie said. 

Tommy could have face palmed. 

-

Part Five

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

My two cents on the Ossan's Love Thailand pilot trailer

Disclaimer: 1) I have watched the original Ossan's Love (S1, LoD, Returns; AU Season and specials are on my list) and liked it a lot. 2) I am an EarthMix fan so I might be slightly biased.

Overall my reaction to the pilot trailer was one of relief. While I definitely noticed some areas for improvement, all in all I am now more hopeful than ever that GMMTV will do this justice.

What I really liked: - Krit Shahkrit seems like a very solid choice for the Boss. I have not previously seen him in anything but what we saw of him in the trailer has me sold. He is younger than he could have been, they are playing it a little safe here possibly, but the age difference is still big/noticable enough that I don't mind at all. - The choice to make Mo a long-time friend of Heng instead of a recent new colleague feels appropriate. Mo moving in with Heng after barely knowing each other might have not worked in a Thai context. (Also EM chemistry is too strong to sell them previously not knowing each other without the excuse of love at first sight they had in ATOTS and MLC) - They actually let Earth be funny in a BL! - On a more serious note, most of the comedic moments landed right on point for me. (The scene where Heng tries to hold Mo back by his collar as he runs away is what fully cemented it for me that this will work) Earth is a great (but severely underutilised) comedic actor and Earth and Mix as a duo have great comedic chemistry. - Earth being the younger one in a potential romantic relationship is a breath of fresh air. He's got good chemistry with P'Krit. I don't think this will actually happen (GMMTV will prob play it safe) but I could see them going for more of an actual conflict in regards to whom Heng will fall for unlike the original where it was pretty clear from the beginning that Haruta had only platonic feelings for Kurosawa. - Earth is doing great with the awkward moments. He is clearly not an actor who is afraid of being the idiot and that's very important for this character.

What I think needs to be imroved: - They need to decide how much they want Earth to imitate Tanaka Kei's style of physical comedy and then stick with it throughout. This felt a little inconsistent to me in the pilot trailer. - Mix needs to get a little more confident when facing off agains P'Krit. His performance felt the weakest in these scenes and I'm pretty sure that's because he wasn't yet completely comfortable getting in this veteran actor's face. I have no doubts that this will get better if Mix gets the chance to practice a little more with P'Krit. (I'm assuming there was not much prep work done before filming the pilot trailer because Mix was quite busy finishing his degree in recent months) Leave the respect for your elders at home, Mix!

Other thoughts: - I hope they move Mo's initial confession back into the shower. Haruta's nakedness really added to the scene in the original and Earth is no stranger to taking his shirt off for the camera so I don't see why they would have to change this. (My hope is that they changed it for the pilot trailer because they didn't want to waste time covering up Earth's tattoo(s), they could potentially seem out of character for Heng) - It seems Choko got replaced with a daughter. That's a shame. I liked her a lot in the original and I felt that she and her relationship with Maro were an important part of the story, especially on the thematic side. I'm willing to see where they go with this, though. - Thor as Ten who I'm assuming is the thai Takegawa is also a bit younger than the original, we didn't see much of him in the pilot trailer so I'm reserving judgement on this decision. - Kapook who, I'm assuming is taking the role of Chizu (though it seems that some of her advisory function might move over to Mo on account of him also being Heng's long-time friend) felt like a perfect fit - Champ has at this point become an EarthMix staple. MLC being the only of their shows he wasn't in. I'm here for it. We haven't seen much of him but I'm sure he can do Teppei justice. - The accidental hand touch while hanging up posters was not convincing. I'm reminded of the slightly awkward hand-interlocking as Jim and Wen stood in front of the soon to close diner. (Am I the only one who notices that every time I see that scene?) - I wonder if they will actually change the wedding scene to have Mo interrupt or if this was done to make the pilot trailer more concise. It would be a shame to loose this classic example of a JBL run. (They did the run in CMT, they should do it in OL!) - If I remember correctly the forhead kiss was in the original as well, but it also works as a cute call back to the atots airport scene.

TL;DR: Earth can do comedy, I'm glad he gets to finally show this in a BL. EM chemistry is chemistrying as usual, this time with more crack energy. Issues I had were probably mostly caused by limited prep time and limited shooting time for the pilot trailer. I think it's gonna be good and that makes me happy.

[dudeyuri]

I'm having thoughts and feelings about bad buddy must be a day that ends in y. But like, last episode tomorrow, kind of verklempt, need to word vomit

My first watch of Bad Buddy kind of smacked me upside the head. I know this is not a unique experience. I was left reeling for a bit. Watching Bad Buddy was the first thing I did in 2023 and I watched all 12 episodes in one sitting like a glutton and I stayed up til 1am even though I had to get up at 4am the next day (I haven't done stupid shit like that since college). Then I started my rewatch the next day. Then I put it aside for months because it was actually a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I just...never?? encountered such a fulfilling narrative that followed through on all its promises. Even with its deliberate deceptions and twists and uncertainties - I put my trust in Bad Buddy's narrative and was rewarded for doing so like never before.

It got me from the first episode - the first episode did what I think almost every first episode should do: tell you exactly what the story is going to be, without telling you exactly what the story is going to be. Fantastic writing, deliberate pacing, satisfying character development, pitch-perfect acting, all top-notch. It kept the energy up all throughout even as it got heavier, and stuck the landing in such a profound and bittersweet way. This was the first Thai BL I've ever watched, and probably the third BL I've ever watched period. One of my first impressions after finishing it even for the first time was that it was, maybe above all else, self aware.

My initial impression was also not a unique one: so far this is funny, charming, an exciting premise. And by episode 4 I was starting to get hit with it: this story is all those things and a knife in your gut, a lump in your throat. And it's queer, and it's tragic. Like, from the jump we see the two households both alike in dignity, we know what this is: it's Romeo and Juliet (or Kwan and Riam). We know how it ends. Pran knows how it ends. They teased us the whole show with Pran's decor, his doorknob hanger, like this show's version of a comedy and tragedy mask - what's it going to be? How's it going to end? Everyone watching knows how romcoms typically end. But everyone also knows how Romeo and Juliet ends.

In a move that can really only be described as revolutionary, Bad Buddy decided that queering the Romeo and Juliet narrative meant a happy ending. With caveats, but happy and alive and together. It was as simple as two characters finding their agency in a world trying to deprive them of it, seeing every path around them that led to tragedy, and instead trailblazing a new one that led to happiness. (everything that could be said about this has already been said; I look to this essay by @chickenstrangers often!! helped me make sense of pat gets shot lol. MK I hope you're not sick of people linking this left and right). It's a narrative choice that resounds.

I was personally struck by that specific pain Pat and Pran experience, the pain of having to lie to your parents and keep love a secret from them - is there a queer person out there who doesn't relate to that in a bone-achingly deep way? Regardless of your relationship with your family. Having to partition yourself like this is part of the queer experience. And it's exhausting because you just have to live like this. It's exhausting because the people who are supposed to love you have made a liar of you instead. You can be surviving and thriving and happy, but your parents will still ask your siblings about their love lives and ask you about the weather (too real??? oops). There's a hint at a possible thawing in the final episode that gives hope, but Bad Buddy does not magically make the parents realize they were wrong and accept their sons' love - I mean, that just doesn't happen. It would have made for a disingenuous ending, it would have been a disservice to the narrative and to the viewers and to the metaphor. If you're lucky enough to have parents who would, you're lucky. It's a sad truth. "We can't change the world...but the world can't change us either."

At first glance, Bad Buddy plays in the "BL bubble". Upon a slightly closer examination Bad Buddy says there can never really be a bubble--stories aren't crafted in a vacuum, the dominant ideology that is homophobia traumatizes and endangers and oppresses all who do not align with it, still there are happy endings for us here. We find each other and carve them out ourselves. To say all this, and to not veer into heavy-handed "yeah okay we get it" territory is a feat honestly! Seldom accomplished in such a riveting and sexy way! How refreshing! Bad Buddy reminded me of reading a good poem - upon first read, a good poem is about "a thing," and it's evocative as is and you don't even have to read it again to enjoy it. But you can also consider it carefully and unearth "the other thing," a deeper meaning, the answer to "why was this written?". Bad Buddy trusts its viewers to get there. I mean I know it's really not much of a hidden message, but again, they are subtle with it, iykyk etc. BB doesn't hold our hand, but it takes our trust and respects it and doesn't break it (though it shakes the jar, like quite a bit, lol. All good stories should tbh).

I think a lot about the form, too. In a less capable storyteller's hands 12 one-hour-long episodes can drag (I'm thinking of some recent gmmtv BLs lol), or even not be enough (I feel like I personally see that in a lot of western shows whose fanbases are out here begging for second seasons to tie up loose ends). P'Aof (and co.) knew exactly what to do with 12 episodes. Has anyone in the entire history of TeleVision ever known what to do with 12 one-hour-long episodes as undeniably as P'Aof and co in making Bad Buddy??

I know I'm being a little dramatic, excessively lauding good writing like this. Like yeah stories should be good and thoughtful and make sense, of fucking course. But I just have to appreciate it in a genre, in a capitalist reality, where a story does not have to be profound or clever or full of love to be marketable. They truly did not have to go this hard. (Though the writer in me who now considers Aof a personal idol also thinks: yes of course they absolutely did have to go this hard in fact It Is The Only Way). I'm so so grateful for it for so many reasons!! And I didn't even breach the topic of how fun and sexy I think Pat and Pran are together. Didn't even mention the fingersucking, the scent kink, the kissies - all genuinely just as important to me as everything else. It's all in the making of a good story! I am taking notes through my tears and I am so thankful

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Songkran, Water, and KingUea

Was talking about my Bed Friend Reflection post with @respectthepetty and more specifically she was referencing the observation I made about how strongly water ties into King and Uea’s relationship and it got me thinking. What, if any, possible meaning could be gleamed from this theme?

And well, Songkran happened recently and I really just decided it was time to go overboard in the parallels I drew between the use of water and the defining moments of King and Uea’s relationship. For those of you who (like me until I looked it up just now) do not know, the original myth of Songkran states Indra the king of devas looked upon a city and was sad to see high levels of corruption, thus until they strayed back from sin there would be no rains, minimal food and water, and extreme drought. The people prayed to mother Earth (Siri) and Siri told the people the causes of their misfortune and gave them fertile lands, divine seeds, songs for rain, and pots of powder to cool their skin. 

Songkran is the Thai New Year which is particularly well known, in Bangkok at least, for its water fights. (There are other rituals such as cleaning the home, making merit, elephant processionals, etc based on region) 

Songkran stems from the Sanskrit word “saṃkrānti” or “saṅkrānti” which (according to Wikipedia) means “transformation” or “movement” 

So let’s explore this theme a bit more in relation to Uea and King’s relationship shall we?

The first time King and Uea have sex, Uea wakes up, panics, and returns home where he then enters the bathtub: 

Thus dousing himself in water, water which, in a Songkran transformation sense, should cleanse him of his sin, in this case, engaging in “slutty” behavior, something he was severely punished for as a child by his mother. 

Then, we hit a dry spell for an episode and a half while King and Uea navigate the beginning of their FWB relationship, things seems to be going pretty well. King is, and I cannot stress how much I mean this in a non-sexual way, planting the seeds for a prosperous harvest, and he is doing so when he shoots the I Love You sign to Uea, when he massages Uea, when he goes out with Gun and spends the whole night communicates with Uea, and it is clear by that point that Uea is starting to having Feelings about King. Then King accidentally triggers him, they hit a bit of a dry spell, until Uea finally accepts King’s apologies and re-starts their sexual relationship. At which point, we get the rain:

With a rain-streaked window overlaying them, King asks Uea “Will you let me be a good thing in your life?” and while Uea tries to brush the question off, we know his answer is yes. King has washed away the sins he has committed against Uea (accidentally triggering him) and they are moving into the next phase of their relationship to one another, where Uea starts seeing King as a good thing in his life. 

Third instance of water comes after Uea’s encounter with his family on his birthday. He calls King seeking comfort, and King recognizes Uea’s anxiety and makes him take a bath instead of continuing their sexual encounter while Uea is emotionally compromised. King brings Uea a birthday cake, and while I have not read the novel, I remember there was a post floating around comparing the book and the show that mentioned that Uea is surprised or touched or something to discover that King cares more about Uea than his mother does because he actually gives Uea a celebration for his birthday.

Uea is once again cleansing himself, this time of the sins of his family, and enters another phase of his relationship to King where he trusts that King cares for him. 

And we get secondary movement in the King/Uea department with them sitting together in the pool:

While King has been witness to some of Uea’s present traumas and trauma reactions, Uea has not otherwise been forthcoming with information about his life. He’s mentioned when his mother texts him, or he makes vague and off-handed comments about things not going right for him in life, but he has not told King any actual information about himself and his life…until the pool, where he talks about happy memories living in Lampang with his cousins. Uea is planting seeds and watering them in the hopes of a bountiful harvest. They openly flirt with each other and discuss visiting Lampang together, fully abandoning the behavior of Friends With Benefits even as they continue to define themselves as such. 

Episode 5 marks our next rain-streaked windows event where the power goes out, Uea has a panic attack, and King calms him down.

Uea is able to sleep, in darkness, through the night which is a huge step for him. Over a cover of rain, Uea is cleansing his fears, and it is showing us that the seeds King has been planting to ensure Uea can trust him are beginning to bear fruit. King has become such an honest, stable presence in his life that Uea is able to find safety and security from the sins committed against him. 

We get another drought in Episode 6 with King promising Uea a beach trip (hello water) but having to cancel due to the arranged match. No water, no movement, no growth, their relationship begins to break down and Uea begins to regress, latching on to the ‘Bed Friend’ title between them as a way to convince himself that he and King have not been going through the motions of a romantic relationship for the past few months/episodes. 

Besides the waterworks (King and Uea’s tears) the only instance of rain we get in Episode 7 is actually reserved exclusively for Uea after he stands up to his mother and his step father. 

Under a cover of rain, Uea is cleansing himself of filial obligation and is finally fighting back after years of biting his tongue. He is cleaning house, getting rid of the people who have sullied his life for so long. This marks a personal transformation for Uea, another songkran. 

Now, if you have read my posts about the use of reflections in this show, then you will know I operate under the assumption that the reflections we are given are indicative of the character’s internal emotional states.

So if you combine the reflections as emotions and the water as transformation, you can imagine the weight of King and Uea being reflected off the water when they confess their feelings for each other. King admits he likes Uea, he gets Uea to admit that he likes King, and while being reflected off the water they are able to cleanse themselves of their transgressions against each other (even though I personally think Uea did nothing wrong) and progress their relationship from the ‘friends with benefits’ phase to the ‘seeing each other’ phase. 

One aspect I have not fully mentioned of the ritual of water pouring in relation to Songkran is not only does pouring water wash away your sins, but it can wash away bad luck as well. Uea is a person who believes himself to be unlucky, and he has said as much in the show. But with this admission from King, and with them being now openly on the same page, and with Krit and the arranged match complications resolved, King and Uea (Uea especially) are able to wash away the bad luck keeping them apart. 

And we know from here on out King and Uea are going to be a tight, cohesive unit because they are frequently surrounded by water for the rest of this show. They have removed their sins, removed their bad luck, and are now granted a glorious relationship. (Of note additional rituals as a part of Songkran include washing the feet of your elders and serving delicious food. While they are not washing each other’s feet we are still getting imagery of them with their feet in water and eating food)

Episode 9, we get four minutes straight of rain, from the scene immediately after King introduces Uea to his parents as his boyfriend until King wakes up sick from the rain. 

First, we have our parallel to Uea’s rainy car ride, with King being the one to stand up to his family, say that he loves Uea and he will not be joining his parent’s company. 

He has cleansed himself of his own filial obligations, and he has Uea there to comfort him and try to break him out of the moody headspace he has gotten himself in to. The tire goes flat and King exits in to the rain to figure out what happened, and Uea brings him an umbrella, but King is already drenched.

This is a blessed rain, a rain from Siri, a rain that heals the burnt flesh from drought and allows the crops to grow. A rain that allows for the cultivation of fertile land. In this case, the growth and cultivation of King and Uea’s relationship to one another, and to themselves as individuals as well.

Very Important Side Note:  Episode 9 of Bed Friend aired the same weekend that Thailand was having their Songkran festival. 

Now, forgive me if I get any of this next part wrong, I do not understand zodiacs very well, but apparently Songkran is meant to celebrate the movement of the sun in to Aries. Now, my knowledge of zodiac is limited but I am pretty certain Aries season begins around March 20 or 21st and goes through about April 20th. King and Uea go on their Sea Trip in Episode 10 on March 25th, during Aries season. 

And uh, it might not rain in Episode 10 but…

That does not mean our boys aren’t getting absolutely covered in water at every opportunity. I mean, as evidenced above we have them fully submerged in the ocean, snorkeling.

And in the bathtub where the wine drunk boyfriends are not only being horny on main, but we have a little bit of verse action happening. This is the final water we get in the show before we get Uea’s first attempt at intentionally turning the lights off and we move towards King and Uea’s engagement. 

We get the perfect circle, Episode 1 starts the relationship between King and Uea with Uea alone in a bathtub trying to wash the memory of the evening away and ends in Episode 10 with King and Uea together in a bathtub, feasting from the bountiful harvest they have sowed throughout the show.

[waitmyturtles]

THAT WAS PERFECT. SPOILERS FOR EP. 4 OF OUR SKYY 2 x BBS X ATOTS.

What can I say. I don't really know what to say. I'm going to blather because otherwise I'm gonna start really crying in this Starbucks.

I have so much Aof on my mind right now, especially with wrapping up not just this Our Skyy 2 series, but Bad Buddy, ATOTS, and finishing off He's Coming To Me last night (which I haven't intentionally processed yet, because I want to do a little rewatching before I get any passing words down).

Another thing I wanted to consider before starting on the episode is that while I've been so hugely focused on Pat and Pran, that I was also saying goodbye to my very first Aof couple in Phupha and Tian. I watched ATOTS WELL before even ever thinking about doing a Thai BL watchlist. I literally only watched ATOTS to get to know Earth and Mix before the premiere of Moonlight Chicken, close to the time that I joined Tumblr last summer. And I was fucking HOOKED after that.

I mean, before I get into my thoughts on this episode, I think what I'm feeling is similar to how I felt when I finished Bad Buddy. I just feel really fulfilled as an Asian that an Asian director is exploring all of these monumental themes in such an in-depth, loving, empathic, and creative way, vis à vis the lens of queer Asian characters in Asia dealing with issues very familiar to my own culture, and my watching how these characters, vis à vis the writing and direction of Aof himself, navigate those worlds.

What I'm realizing about this episode are a number of themes -- again, themes, as I wrote this morning to dear @wen-kexing-apologist, that I see Aof returning to time and time again. (I'm feeling really surprisingly emotional still, so this post is going to ramble a bit, the writing is not calming things down as it usually does.)

I think what's getting me really emotional here is that this episode was about transcendence -- HUGE transcendence on the part of Phupha, but on all the other guys, too. But in regards to how the transcendence STARTED, and from whom and to whom it started: it all happened when Pat and Pran arrived in Pha Pun Dao, and experienced Tian and Phupha, and vice versa. All of them experienced each other, and all of them changed because of it. Because they had found queer community amongst each other, they were able to share their experiences with new people, compare stories and emotions, and grow the better because of it.

Something I didn't realize last week was (or maybe I did, and I can't remember writing about it, because I'm a jumble): Pat and Pran moved again, Hegel-ian style, as I wrote in my massive BBS thesis. They went from Bangkok to Pha Pun Dao, a nicely big trip. Pat and Pran move, independently and together, always searching for their synthesis, which they can't QUITE find, because their families are in the way.

But they came REAL close to a public synthesis in this episode, and we know that they were essentially on another out honeymoon in Pha Pun Dao last week and this week, knowing that they were in the company of another queer couple, as @wen-kexing-apologist so sharply noted last night.

And then -- vis à vis Phupha's permission, a new modality of finding openness and honesty -- they came as close to a public synthesis, together, in the play as they could possibly find. While still closeted to almost everyone around them. They were still able to provide cover for fucking Dissaya. But they were as out as they could be between BBS episodes 11 and 12.

And that's just Pat and Pran's transcendence journey. With each Pat and Pran having separate conversations with Tian and Phupha in Pha Pun Dao, they could TRANSCEND THEMSELVES, their biases about their relationship with each other, and reflect on what holds people back in their own relationship. Indirectly, Pat and Pran were learning about what was holding Phupha back in being open and honest with Tian, and reflecting back to Chief on how THEY related to that (as communicative and reflecting youngsters), and Phupha could see THEIR processing, and learn from that. Pat and Pran could process because THEY found queer community, as much as Phupha and Tian did.

So: back to Aof and his themes. The theme of community building. How building a community and strength in numbers can help you grow.

It was so meaningful to hear Phupha comment that no one understood Phupha and Tian better than Pat and Pran. BECAUSE YOU NEED COMMUNITY TO GROW TOGETHER, AND THAT IS WHAT AOF IS SAYING FOR EQUITY FOR THE ASIAN QUEER COMMUNITY: FIND EACH OTHER AND BE TOGETHER, STRONGER. There are so many forces working against that community in each country of the continent, in their own ways.

And what happens when that happens, when people find community? You get strength and growth. You get a story like Phupha, who UTTERLY TRANSCENDED HIMSELF IN THIS EPISODE, MY GAWD. And Phupha did a Bad Buddy, he did a Hegelian thesis transition. HE MOVED. HE CROSSED HIS BORDERS and WENT TO THE CITY. As Pat and Pran, in episode 11, had to go to the eco-village -- Phupha needed to go to the city to close this newly awakened circle in him to confirm his relationship with Tian, and to find his sturdiness and commitment in living his life to take care of his partner.

Phupha found his courage through Pat, seeing how utterly OPEN and sappy Pat was to Pran. Phupha found that HE COULD STILL BE HIMSELF through Pran, hearing and seeing Pran's own reticence, Pran's own inclination to hold himself back. Phupha saw himself and Tian in Pat and Pran, and saw how a different paradigm could play out, simply with different mindsets.

I'm feeling really, just.... I am feeling really deeply grateful that we got to close out all of this on Phupha's story. Especially discussed among the friends (@lurkingshan, @shortpplfedup, @bengiyo, @wen-kexing-apologist, @ginnymoonbeam, and @kyr-kun-chan) -- could the ATOTS story have held up WITHOUT Pat and Pran?

Maybe? But, but, but. That wasn't Aof's point -- AT ALL.

Aof's point was to hammer home the equity of community. How you can be a BETTER PERSON when OTHER PEOPLE are helping you reflect, with THEIR PERSPECTIVES, on your life and your struggles.

There's a part of me that thinks here that there's a parable regarding the importance of having the freedom TO BE OUT. Each of the four guys -- Tian, Phupha, Pat, and Pran -- have their own ways of dealing with outness, and what it means to them. Each of them has their own group of people that would be affected by their outness.

And, fucking Christ, how beautiful. What we got to see in this episode is the internal reckoning of each character -- BUT ESPECIALLY PHUPHA, BECAUSE HE'S THE ELDEST AND WAS LIKELY EXPERIENCING THE MOST DIFFICULTY IN ADAPTING BECAUSE OF HIS PAST EXPERIENCES that we know nothing about (Uncle Jim, Uncle Jim).

We see Pran's reckoning at the moment of the play -- that he's gonna fool Dissaya. We see Pat not giving a toss for Ming. We see Tian WANTING Phupha in with his parents.

Each of the guys are in a different place and a different moment with their micro-circles. They needed to talk about their own stories with each other, and to hear each other tell their own stories, to build this story together of community.

They needed to each, vis à vis all of each other, that each one of them, individually, do need to compromise -- but not to GIVE UP THEIR LIVES for each other, or for anyone else in their lives.

None of these guys needed to give up their lives to compromise to each other's demands or characteristics. Pat and Pran do not need to use their lives to repay the fucking foibles of their parents. They're gonna play their parents until their parents are ready, which I love and think that that's very realistic and empathic from the lens of Asian filial piety. (I LOVE @grapejuicegay's analysis -- and I like it, and am going with, the read that Pran needs to get separation from Dissaya through Singapore. Boy, do I ever fucking relate to that.)

Phupha doesn't need to use his life of reticence and secrecy to repay... what -- the world's bias against the queer community? Thailand's bias against public servants being out and open?

And Tian's is helping him through that. But Phupha couldn't have done this ONLY with Tian, because Tian has his own needs and his own issues, his own stubbornness, that Phupha and Tian need to contend with as a couple.

Phupha needed the big push, he needed the push of the community that Pat and Pran provided, and the objective REFLECTION that Pat and Pran provided vis à vis the play, to TRANSCEND himself and get to a place of openness and comfort.

And he found that, in the arms of Tian, but also in the acceptance of Tian's parents and Tian's community in Tul.

I think it is really ripping my heart apart that the close of ATOTS was told with the story of Bad Buddy. I actually don't see it ending any other way. And we didn't get a close of Bad Buddy, per se. We're getting the close of Pat and Pran and OhmNanon, for sure, but we know the boys will find ways to move forward in our beloved world of fiction, wherever they go.

We do know that Phupha has committed, openly, in family and community, to love and care for Tian, Tian with the borrowed heart and the thousandth star on his finger -- and that's exactly an ending for ATOTS that I could have asked for.

I have more to process... but mom needs a break and a cocktail tonight. I could not have asked for anything more than this -- I am so fulfilled.

[bengiyo]

Dangerous Romance Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Kanghan and Sailom ran away because Kanghan's dad sucks so hard. Kanghan wanted to blow as much of his dad's money as possible, and decided to sell his bike after his card was frozen. He decided to get it back because he didn't want his dad to feel bad about the gift, and so they went to a pool hall to hustle and somehow didn't get stabbed. When they went back to buy the bike, Kanghan and Sailom were beaten by the guys they hustled and Kanghan was forced to kneel before them. We learned that Sailom has been in contact with Kanghan's dad the whole time, and then the two of them had sex, which looked kinda awkward as hell.

The scent kink continues, as does Sailom's embarrassment around sex.

We never did see what happened to Guy and Nawa.

Papang may have chemistry with everyone, but Name is going to cause big problems for Saifah.

Love how we led with Name sending guys to burn Sailom, but now we're at Name wanting to quit because he doesn't want to murder people. This show is so weird.

I kinda wish Dad was having this conversation with Kanghan and not Sailom. Now we're gonna have to sit through Sailom doing this for the dad instead.

What did I just say? 😐

First they push Saifah and Name all the way back to this boss. Now they're pushing the dad back to his dead wife???

Is the dad dead or just injured?

Now why the hell is Saifah confessing?

"I'll stand by you." Two minutes later. "Never mind. Get out."

Why the fuck is Name still around??

I'm sorry, but I do not buy Sailom accepting zero help for his brother.

Guy losing his athletic abilities is pretty serious, but it feels a bit extraneous to what's going on.

We wasted so much time on Kanghan being like would you love me if I was poor just to have him close ranks at the first big problem. This show is so fucking tedious. Why did we leave Sailom behind for so long for this rich dumbass?

Nawa is like maybe we could just pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars...for two hours. Like, this is cute, but feels so off with the danger going on elsewhere.

Who is Saifah covering for that he's willing to abandon his little brother like this?

Now we're back to the escort plotline I guess. With no one to watch for him, my dude got spiked. WTF.

Did he instinctively call Kanghan? How is he even here?

This teary reunion in the money probably seemed like a great scene on paper, but the context around this is so stupid.

Next week I have to watch Sailom get shot at? Shit just do be happening.

This show sucks so much. It truly has no respect for poor people. This is the most unsexy Thai show we've had all year, and that includes the weird chastity hanging over Low Frequency.

[karolinswritings]

Can I have hc’s of envy x gn reader who is a state alchemist? And if you wanna add some more drama they could have preformed human transmutation, making them a sacrifice.

Hey, I would be very happy to write headcanons like that since Envy in this specific scenario has so much potential! So, there you go, I hope I did well:

Fullmetal Alchemist Envy x reader HCs: Envy x gn reader who is a state alchemist and has preformed human transmutation.

If Envy doesn't know that reader has preformed human transmutation and hasn not seen them preform alchemy without a circle, he would most likely not worry about their relationship at all. He would not worry too much about the other homunculi finding out about it, and wouldn't care about anybody else's opinion on it too. He would be confident in his decision to be with a human. He likes their company, so he will do as he wants and be with them. He wouln't worry about anyone hurtning or insulting reader too because he would be quick to take care of them.

But, as soon as he sees them preform alchemy without a circle, his would heart skip a beat. He doesn't show it, to not make reader scared, but he gets extremely worried and all the things that could happen to his beloved pass through his mind. The tought of them losing their life in such a horrific way makes him come to one conclusion. He should not let anybody know that they can preform alchemy without a circle.

The tought of him possibly causing Father's plan to take longer than expected and that he is rebelling against his orders does go though his mind, but he does not consider doing anything other than protecting reader, even if that means going against orders.

I think he would become very selfish once he realises that he is no longer the one he used to be. He would take as much time as he wishes at reader's place, he wouldn't mind not going to missions because of them and would gradually realise that for an immortal being like him, there is no need to listen to anyone, as he could do whatever he himself wishes to do. He would start living his own life.

I think that spending more time with reader and opening up to them more and more would help him get more in touch with himself. Why is he envious of humans? What makes him so different from them? Are they different from him at all? And is it really worth it thinking about complicated plans, that have nothing to do with what he wants to do.

With such toughts going through his mind he would start thinking about telling reader about everything. They are always honest with him, so why wouldn't he be honest with them too?

If he tells reader or they get to know themselves the reason why he doesn't want them to preform alchemy without a circle, he would deffinitely be worried about them wanting to leave him.

He would be thinking that now, knowing who he really is and what his goal used to be, they would no longer see him as their lover. But just as a freak. A monster.

If reader tells Envy that they appreciate that he decided to hide them, so that they would be safe, he would be very relieved. I think that he would even consider no longer being related to Father and his plan at all, now that he has realised that he would no longer be envious of humans, since he can do everything thay can and even more, with his lover by his side.

"I used to take pride in who I am..being a homunculus, I mean..but was I really that much of a big deal? I am immortal and can regenerate, not to mention my shape-shifting abilities. But other than that..I am no more than just a tool being used. I have no idea if I have ever made any decision that was my own, and actually worth it..this whole thing..the plan and stuff..what does it even have to do with me? The one decision that I made myself and I am proud of..is deciding that I want to be with you. So..since I have disobeyed the old man's orders already..why don't I make a bit more of a mess?"- He would tell reader with a slight smirk, feeling like he has the whole world to himself..

[siphoklansan]

hello ! i saw ur cute chibi lilia (DEVOURS) from one of your oc arts and omg! anan intrigues me a ton…ur intro post abt him states he’s from a fallen kingdom, i’m so interested in the kingdom’s tales! like its culture, what’s it inspired by, etc etc and maybe why it’s fallen? if u don’t mind these questions ofc <3

HELLOOO AAAA TYSM FOR THE ASK!! And I’m happy you like how I draw chibi Lilia hsjjsjhdjj🫶🫶 (I’ve been following you for a while and I see you liking him 👀✨/lh)

This is a really good question!! I’m still building/shaping what the homeland is like right now, but I got some details down! The Homeland finally has a name now: Attidaya, but people usually call it East of Scalding Sands!☀︎︎ (the name comes from อาทิตยา which is a synonym for the sun! It’s an old word I think, so I don’t hear people say it often— maybe in poems they do.)

Since my OCs are based on Thai literature, the homeland will also be based on Thai culture!

I made some notes on what Attidaya has that other lands don’t, which are Yakshas! Yakshas appear a lot in Thai literature (maybe some, but the popular works have them!)

There’s water nymphs here, a bit uncommon but they’re there! They give off a more pond-ish, swampy vibes— but they’re really pretty! I haven’t designed them yet thooo :,))

Also a place that has merpeople! In Thai literature/mythology, mermaids are usually top naked and wear lots of gold jewelry. I tweaked those details by removing it (I do not wanna draw top naked people💀🖐️) but kept the same design of the tails!

As for why it’s a fallen kingdom, OHOHOHOHO just wanna start by saying that this is a sneak peak to the big project (which will be a comic) that I’m working on!🕺🫶

Back in ancient times, around 1000 years ago, Attidaya was known to be a very prosperous land.

No one really knew what happened to the fall. And there were many rumors speculating around this topic until one day it became a taboo.

However, everyone can agree on one thing that could possibly relate to the fall of the kingdom; a segment of the country. The only remains of that entire segment is burnt remains, and ash covered soil. Nobody goes there, but it’s not forbidden to visit. Though, you might get some strange looks if you do visit.

Everything was burnt to ashes there. Well— maybe you’d see some pieces of wood standing or a pile of burnt houses but yeah.

Till today, no one including people (or should I say Yakshas) from Attidaya knows what happened. It’s like a big question mark for the topic. Many theories are floating around from time to time, but people don’t usually speak up about it.

✰ the lore may be changed since I’m still shaping the whole plot up!! so when the comic releases, some things might not follow what I typed in here(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

[hoteadepresso]

okay so hear me out

back when I was 14 I was going through my Percy Jackson obsession (how did I think I was straight is beyond me lmao) 

but anyways, if you know the series you probably remember the Cupid scene in House of Hades 

And tonight I had a sudden flashback of that scene and it occured to me how many Byler parallels there are, and the whole scene feels like something that could potentially happen in season 5, and some of the tropes are eerily similar

some things parallel Byler scenes that have already happened in season 4, so I will try to point them all out  

(spoilers for House of Hades by Rick Riordan below!) 

okay, to summarize, in House of Hades Nico and Jason end up on a mission together, and to complete it they must get an artefact they need to defeat Gaea. In the process they must defeat Cupid (more like get him to surrender actually), and Cupid forces Nico to share his deepest secret, and Jason witnesses it all. So before I start, I would like you to keep in mind that this is just a loose interpretation of my Byler infested brain, because I love finding similar motifs in pieces of media and Nico di Angelo was at one point almost as dear to me as Mike Wheeler is now (though in this particular piece the similarities are more so between Nico and Will, but I could definitely pin some parts to Mike as well) 

here goes: 

[“Cupid,” Jason called, “where are you?”

The voice laughed. It definitely didn’t sound like a cute baby angel’s. It sounded deep and rich, but also threatening—like a tremor before a major earthquake.

Where you least expect me, Cupid answered. As Love always is.

Something slammed into Jason and hurled him across the street. He toppled down a set of steps and sprawled on the floor of an excavated Roman basement.]

So this is just an intro, but we already have a sentence thay corresponds with Byler. Maybe it’s a bit cheesy, but still true. 

[I would think you’d know better, Jason Grace. Cupid’s voice whirled around him. You’ve found true love, after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?]

Now while for the most part here Jason parallels Jonathan, this particular line makes me think of Vecna possibly using Mike’s conflicting feelings and guilt about El to torment him. That would work in a scenario where they do not break up at the beginning of season 5 immediately, and prolonging the situation Mike is in at the end of s4 could make an opportunity for Vecna to use it against him like this. 

But that’s only a side comment, I still think it fits Jonathan better, considering the situation with Nancy, and Jonthan’s struggles when it comes to what the future has in store for the two of them.

[Nico scrambled down the steps. “You okay?” Jason accepted his hand and got to his feet. “Yeah. Just sucker punched.”

Oh, did you expect me to play fair? Cupid laughed. I am the god of love. I am never fair.]

again, a bit on the nose, but here I would like to refer to the breakfast scene in season 3, the “I’m not gonna fall in love”, scene. 

To me it’s not even what Will says, because we know he was most likely already in love with Mike at that point, so he probably doesn’t mean it literally. 

The way he says it, however, is what makes me put this reference here. His voice is dejected, like he has given up hope on ever being happy and having someone whom he is in love with, because he thinks he is not allowed to be in love, that there is no happy ending for someone like him (and here, a honorary FUCK LONNIE BYERS is in order I believe). 

So yeah, love isn’t fair, especially to a gay boy in the 80s, in Indiana.

[This time, Jason’s senses were on high alert. He felt the air ripple just as an arrow materialized, racing toward Nico’s chest. Jason intercepted it with his sword and deflected it sideways. The arrow exploded against the nearest wall, peppering them with limestone shrapnel. They ran up the steps. Jason pulled Nico to one side as another gust of wind toppled a column that would have crushed him flat.

“Is this guy Love or Death?” Jason growled.

Ask your friends, Cupid said. Frank, Hazel, and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder.]

so, this part here. Now I do not think Will is suicidal or something like that. However, I do believe Vecna might use the “putting you out of your misery” manipulation tactic if he curses/posesess Will. You know, good old tormenting with visions of Mike hating him, being disgusted with him, never reciprocating his feelings etc., and then when he’s broken, this tactic. Idk, maybe I’m reaching, but it’s still a valid line when it comes to their storyline.

[“We just want the scepter!” Nico shouted. “We’re trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the gods’ side or not?” A second arrow hit the ground between Nico’s feet and glowed white-hot. Nico stumbled back as the arrow burst into a geyser of flame. Love is on every side, Cupid said. And no one’s side. Don’t ask what Love can do for you. “Great,” Jason said. “Now he’s spouting greeting card messages.” Movement behind him: Jason spun, slicing his sword through the air. His blade bit into something solid. He heard a grunt and he swung again, but the invisible god was gone. On the paving stones, a trail of golden ichor shimmered—the blood of the gods. Very good, Jason, Cupid said. At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage. “So now I get the scepter?” Jason asked. Cupid laughed. Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them. “But…” Jason wavered. He was an officer. He was praetor. Then he remembered all his second thoughts about where he belonged. In New Rome, he’d offered to give up his position to Percy Jackson. Did that make him unworthy to lead a legion of Roman ghosts? He decided to face that problem when the time came. “Just leave that to us,” he said. “Nico can summon—” The third arrow zipped by Jason’s shoulder. He couldn’t stop it in time. Nico gasped as it sunk into his sword arm. “Nico!” The son of Hades stumbled. The arrow dissolved, leaving no blood and no visible wound, but Nico’s face was tight with rage and pain. “Enough games!” Nico shouted. “Show yourself!”

It is a costly thing, Cupid said, looking on the true face of Love.]

okay, for this one, I want you to think about the van scene, car talk scene, but also Will’s POV in season 4 in general, but not only Will’s, it applies heavily to Mike as well. 

“Sometimes I thing it’s just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if... what if they don’t like the truth?”

To be vulnerable, to face your true feelings, you have to be prepared to pay the price, because you have no guarantee your feelings will be returned, or even accepted. Will is afraid of opening up about his real feelings to Mike, and Mike is not only afraid of his feelings for Will, he is also afraid of facing El and telling her the truth about his feelings, and it reflects both in the scene in the junkyard but also in the scene in the desert, when Mike looks between Will and El and you can clearly see the “how am I going to tell her?” expression on his face. Because I believe at that point he has accepted it, but it didn’t solve anything. 

Also, I strongly believe that Mike is terrified of losing El as a friend. I think he is convinced that if he isn’t “useful” to her as a boyfriend, he has no “use” to her at all, and that he will lose her completely, and that is probably even though he is aware of his real feelings, he is holding on to trying to fix things between them, because he is not fighting for a girlfriend anymore, he is fighting for one of his platonic soulmates, someone with whom he has a profound bond. 

Will pays his price too, lying about the painting. He pays the price of love for Mike, who needs to understand how important he is to people who love him, and he pays the price of the love for his sister. He has their best interests at heart, even if it means his heart will bleed out. 

[Another column toppled. Jason scrambled out of its way. My wife Psyche learned that lesson, Cupid said. She was brought here eons ago, when this was the site of my palace. We met only in the dark. She was warned never to look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster. One night, she lit a candle, and beheld my face as I slept. “Were you that ugly?” Jason thought he had zeroed in on Cupid’s voice—at the edge of the amphitheater about twenty yards away—but he wanted to make sure. The god laughed. I was too handsome, I’m afraid. A mortal cannot gaze upon the true appearance of a god without suffering consequences. My mother, Aphrodite, cursed Psyche for her distrust. My poor lover was tormented, forced into exile, given horrible tasks to prove her worth. She was even sent to the Underworld on a quest to show her dedication. She earned her way back to my side, but she suffered greatly. Now I’ve got you, Jason thought. He thrust his sword in the sky and thunder shook the valley. Lightning blasted a crater where the voice had been speaking. Silence. Jason was just thinking, Dang, it actually worked, when an invisible force knocked him to the ground. His sword skittered across the road. A good try, Cupid said, his voice already distant. But Love cannot be pinned down so easily. Next to him, a wall collapsed. Jason barely managed to roll aside.

“Stop it!” Nico yelled. “It’s me you want. Leave him alone!” 

Jason’s ears rang. He was dizzy from getting smacked around. His mouth tasted like limestone dust. He didn’t understand why Nico would think of himself as the main target, but Cupid seemed to agree. ]

Only a small remark here, but I can definitely see Will puting himself between Vecna and the others in season 5, especially since I believe Will in fact, is Vecna’s main focus at the moment. (im a Will has powers truther)

[Poor Nico di Angelo. The god’s voice was tinged with disappointment. Do you know what you want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you—what have you risked in my name?

“I’ve been to Tartarus and back,” Nico snarled. “You don’t scare me.” I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest.]

Tartarus = Upside Down, Mind Flayer, etc.

And yet there are other demons Will must face, not only the interdimensional evil. And those demons might prove more difficult to deal with, especially if he’s alone with it.

[Jason pulled himself up. All around Nico, the ground shifted. The grass withered, and the stones cracked as if something was moving in the earth beneath, trying to push its way through. “Give us Diocletian’s scepter,” Nico said. “We don’t have time for games.”

Games? Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work—a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you—especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards.]

Here let’s think back to the van scene. Will confesses his feelings in a veiled way, lying about the painting and projecting his own thoughts and feelings onto El. 

We can safely assume that resolving this and Will confessing the truth about the painting will be a big part of the Byler arc in season 5. Only after they both know the truth they will have a chance at moving forward and building a relationship.

[Jason retrieved his sword. If this invisible guy was Love, Jason was beginning to think Love was overrated. He liked Piper’s version better—considerate, kind, and beautiful. Aphrodite he could understand. Cupid seemed more like a thug, an enforcer. “Nico,” he called, “what does this guy want from you?”

Tell him, Nico di Angelo, Cupid said. Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone.

Nico let loose a guttural scream. The ground at his feet split open and skeletons crawled forth—dead Romans with missing hands and caved-in skulls, cracked ribs, and jaws unhinged. Some were dressed in the remnants of togas. Others had glinting pieces of armor hanging off their chests. Will you hide among the dead, as you always do? Cupid taunted.]

 I don’t think this needs any particular analysis from me. This could be many things, but in general, another way for Vecna to torment Will. Maybe he will use that when faced with both Mike and Will, forcing Will to confess and then we see some sort of horrible, heart-wrenching reaction from Mike and we find out it was a vision all along, making Will believe that this is really how Mike reacted, etc.

[Waves of darkness rolled off the son of Hades. When they hit Jason, he almost lost consciousness—overwhelmed by hatred and fear and shame…

Images flashed through his mind. He saw Nico and his sister on a snowy cliff in Maine, Percy Jackson protecting them from a manticore. Percy’s sword gleamed in the dark. He’d been the first demigod Nico had ever seen in action.

Later, at Camp Half-Blood, Percy took Nico by the arm, promising to keep his sister Bianca safe. Nico believed him. Nico looked into his sea-green eyes and thought, How can he possibly fail? This is a real hero. He was Nico’s favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life.

Jason saw the moment when Percy returned and told Nico that Bianca was dead. Nico had screamed and called him a liar. He’d felt betrayed, but still…when the skeleton warriors attacked, he couldn’t let them harm Percy. Nico had called on the earth to swallow them up, and then he’d run away—terrified of his own powers, and his own emotions.

Jason saw a dozen more scenes like this from Nico’s point of view.… And they left him stunned, unable to move or speak.

Meanwhile, Nico’s Roman skeletons surged forward and grappled with something invisible. The god struggled, flinging the dead aside, breaking off ribs and skulls, but the skeletons kept coming, pinning the god’s arms. Interesting! Cupid said. Do you have the strength, after all?]

Okay, a lot to unpack here, but first let’s notice the way we see this through Jason’s POV, and I think it’s a very direct parallel to Jonathan hearing the van conversation and seeing Will crying, then noticing Will looking at Mike and El flirting, not to mention simply knowing Will all his life and having noticed how Will was around Mike through the years. 

Then we have those particular scenes where we see Percy through Nico’s lens. He is his hero his heart, someone who protected him from harm, someone who made Nico feel safe, someone he trusted completely. 

Then we see that even when Percy hurt him, betrayed his trust in a way, Nico still can’t bring himself to hurt him back, he protects him even then.

Those are all very direct parallels to how Will perceives Mike. 

And while admittedly, Percy is a more “obvious” and “literal” hero than Mike, it doesn’t change anything. 

To Will, Mike is a real hero. He was the one who stood between him and bullies, who offered warmth and shelter when Lonnie still lived with them, who made Will feel good for being different. Mike doesn’t need to yield a literal sword to be Will’s Paladin. His heart and his love are his greatest weapons.

He was Nico’s favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life.

Ring any bells? 

[“I left Camp Half-Blood because of love,” Nico said. “Annabeth…she—”

Still hiding, Cupid said, smashing another skeleton to pieces. You do not have the strength.]

Here we have the painting, again.

Annabeth is Percy’s girlfriend and love interest all through the series. 

Here we see Nico trying to evade the full truth, trying to make it seem as if it was Annabeth that he had feelings for. 

And we can interpret it in two ways, depending whether we apply this to Will or to Mike. 

This part makes me think of Mike more, of the way that he tries to hold onto El, not ready/too afraid to admit who it is that he truly loves. 

If we look at it considering Will, obviously he doesn’t use El to imply it was her he has feelings for, he does use her however to tell a half-truth to Mike in the van. 

They both seem to be talking in code, seemingly refering to El while actually thinking about each other. 

[“Nico,” Jason managed to say, “it’s okay. I get it.”

Nico glanced over, pain and misery washing across his face. “No, you don’t,” he said. “There’s no way you can understand.” And so you run away again, Cupid chided. From your friends, from yourself.

“I don’t have friends!” Nico yelled. “I left Camp Half-Blood because I don’t belong! I’ll never belong!”

The skeletons had Cupid pinned now, but the invisible god laughed so cruelly that Jason wanted to summon another bolt of lightning. Unfortunately, he doubted he had the strength. “Leave him alone, Cupid,” Jason croaked. “This isn’t…” His voice failed. He wanted to say it wasn’t Cupid’s business, but he realized this was exactly Cupid’s business. Something Favonius said kept buzzing in his ears: Are you shocked? The story of Psyche finally made sense to him—why a mortal girl would be so afraid. Why she would risk breaking the rules to look the god of love in the face, because she feared he might be a monster.

Psyche had been right. Cupid was a monster. Love was the most savage monster of all.

Nico’s voice was like broken glass. “I—I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.”

“You were jealous of her,” Jason said. “That’s why you didn’t want to be around her. Especially why you didn’t want to be around…him. It makes total sense.”

All the fight and denial seemed to go out of Nico at once. The darkness subsided. The Roman dead collapsed into bones and crumbled to dust.

“I hated myself,” Nico said. “I hated Percy Jackson.”]

So here we have the pizza place talk between Jon and Will. While not as explicit and upfront as the one between Jason and Nico, it still holds similar weight of understanding, reassurance and support.

And the “not wanting to be around them” part? Will sat in the front as they were driving to Indiana, because he couldn’t handle sitting in the back next to Mike and El, not after Mike’s monologue.

[Cupid became visible—a lean, muscular young man with snowy white wings, straight black hair, a simple white frock and jeans. The bow and quiver slung over his shoulder were no toys—they were weapons of war. His eyes were as red as blood, as if every Valentine in the world had been squeezed dry, distilled into one poisonous mixture. His face was handsome, but also harsh—as difficult to look at as a spotlight. He watched Nico with satisfaction, as if he’d identified the exact spot for his next arrow to make a clean kill.

“I had a crush on Percy,” Nico spat. “That’s the truth. That’s the big secret.”

He glared at Cupid. “Happy now?”

For the first time, Cupid’s gaze seemed sympathetic. “Oh, I wouldn’t say Love always makes you happy.” His voice sounded smaller, much more human. “Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you’ve faced it now. That’s the only way to conquer me.”

Cupid dissolved into the wind.]

While obviously Vecna doesn’t want Will or anyone else to conquer him, he does feed on secrets, lonliness, shame and guilt. So of course he is most likely to target people suffering from those things, such as Will naturally but I strongly believe he might target Mike specifically, because he will know it’s the best way to hurt and manipulate Will and El. 

I rest my case. I hope it’s at least somewhat coherent, I’m insane for Byler and sleep deprived. 

Lemme know what you think! 

[lovelessthan]

I arrived late in Helsinki on the 5th of January. During the last leg of my 11 hour bus ride I remembered that January 6th is a public holiday in many countries; it is not in Portugal, while it is for our neighbors Spain, so it really varies from place to place and is never a date that's at the forefront of my mind. Nevertheless, my flight back home was on the 7th so I decided to check and sure enough, the 6th is a public holiday in Finland. Since my number one mission during my last days in Helsinki was to visit Aikuisten Lelukauppa, Kari Valo's famous shop, I DM'd their instagram account asking whether it would be open the next day.

Thus began the saga that leads us to the concluding chapter of our story, The Finland Chronicles Part 3: Aikuisten Lelukauppa Oy, and Finland Moi Moi

I got a response from the person who runs the shop’s instagram account the next morning, while I was getting ready, saying that they weren’t sure whether Kari would be coming in. I decided to risk it anyway and headed over there, only to find that, alas, the shop was indeed closed.

Feeling a bit deflated, I decided to just walk into the restaurant next door and the events that unfolded upon me stepping inside were heartwarming. The place was a very small and simple Thai restaurant, run by just one man, who I at the time assumed was Finnish. I made casual conversation with him and informed him of what had just happened, to which he replied that he had seen Kari lock up not long ago and head to the cafe down the road…so I had just missed him! I proceeded to order food, since I hadn’t really had breakfast, and he made me a dish of fried salmon, rice, and pickled vegetables. It was delicious, and I'm pretty sure the blurry corner in the picture above is from my lens fogging up with how hot it was.

After bringing me the food, this sweet man proceeded to turn the entire restaurant upside down looking for Kari's phone number, which he had written down on a slip of paper; he did in fact have a smartphone but informed me he didn't have time to be saving people's numbers in it, dontcha know. 😂 He said there was a possibility Kari could come back but it wasn't looking likely. Eventually, a girl who worked at the café next door came over, since she helps write the signs and menus for the restaurant due to her impeccable calligraphy, and gave him the number. He dialed it, hit call and a few seconds later we heard a voice identical to Ville’s say (I assume), "Kari Valo speaking." The restaurant owner explained that someone had come *all* the way from Portugal just to see him and handed me the phone. So I got to talk to Kari a bit. He told me he'd locked up for the day and asked me why I hadn't come earlier, and when I said I was considering extending my trip a bit he responded, "I'll be waiting for you every day." Ville wasn't kidding when he said he got his verbal acrobatics from his dad, huh. Sidenote: I thought I'd headed out pretty early, all things considered, but now you know, the early bird gets the Kari, especially if it’s a public holiday.

Heartened, I hung up and got on my own phone to make the arrangements to extend my trip, intending to return to the shop without fail on Monday the 8th. A part of me felt a little silly, but that was overridden by the feeling that my time in Finland wouldn’t really have been complete without a visit to Aikuisten Lelukauppa. Luckily, it was pretty cheap and dealing with that left me with time to relax, enjoy the rest of my meal, and talk to the man who had gone out of his way to make sure I got to speak to Kari. It turned out his name was Pedro, he was originally from Spain but had been living in Finland for 45 years, and had learned to cook Thai food from his second wife. Upon finding out he was from Spain, the conversation promptly switched from English to Portuñol, and he told me all about his family over Thai coffee after I'd finished my meal. I left the place after some time, feeling warm and fuzzy at the fact that complete strangers had gone above and beyond for me, but not before laughing at the fact that as quickly as Pedro had reobtained Kari's number, he then proceeded to lose it for a second time and was once again turning the place upside down looking for it as I headed out the door.

In all seriousness, if you're planning on including Aikuisten Lelukauppa in your Helsinki itinerary, consider stopping by Pedro's place as well. It's literally right next door, so it's impossible to miss, the food is great, and the hospitality, well...if you've read this far then you've probably figured out it's second to none.

Afterwards I took the time to explore the city a little more and went to see Helsinki Cathedral and check out the other sights around Senate Square. Extending my trip also allowed me shop more leisurely for family and friends before heading home for the evening.

Sunday was a day dedicated to doing absolutely nothing, which I felt I had earned, and fun fact: my Airbnb hosts were the proud owners of eleven (11!) cats, including the four kittens pictured above. All this while having a spotless home with almost exclusively white furniture. Why would you want to leave the house? I only realized long after the fact that I could have used my Sunday to take the ferry from Finland to Estonia and spend the day in Tallinn's old town, but I think the fact that it didn't even cross my mind just shows it wasn't meant to be. You can't fit everything in on one trip and you have to stop to rest at some point. All in all, a Sunday well spent.

Then the fateful day arrived! I got up, got ready, headed out the door, and took the bus to the stop nearest to the street where Aikuisten Lelukauppa is located. In the few minutes left where I was walking up to the shop, my heart started pounding and I was pretty sure I was gonna act completely starstruck but...it was fine. More than fine. There was only one other customer there when I walked in, and they left almost the minute I entered. I said hello and told Kari that I was the person he'd spoken to on the phone the other day, and he apologetically explained that he'd had responsibilities other than the shop to attend to that day which resulted in him leaving early. What followed was me getting almost 2 hours of his time just chatting, as it had been over a week since Helldone and there weren't many fans flocking to the shop. He truly is a gem of a person, he seemed more than happy (and I hope he truly was!) to discuss his interest in cars, the movie Taxi Driver, how he acquired a lot of the memorabilia around the shop, how he got involved in this particular line of work, the state of taxi drivers these days (NOT good, he’ll have you know!), some of the shows he'd seen on the Neon Noir tour, and asked me about myself as well. Thanks to Kari I learned about Aki Kaurismäki, a Finnish director who has lived in Portugal for over 30 years, and now have some new films on my to-watch list. He also provided me with some tips for things to do around the city, including enthusiastically telling me I should go swimming (eherm, maybe next time) and to visit Temppeliaukion kirkko, a Lutheran church that was excavated directly from solid rock.

I would be remiss not to point out a significant moment in my visit. Kari received quite a few phone calls while we were chatting, and most of the time the phone ringing would prompt him to cry out, "Perkele!" One of the calls, however, he simply answered without any fuss. I could hear a man's voice but since the conversation was in Finnish, I distracted myself with my phone. Once he'd hung up, Kari turned to me and asked, "Do you know who that was?" to which I replied, "Who?" and he exclaimed, "Ville!" then burst out laughing and grabbed my shoulders as my jaw dropped. Then he told me that Ville had called to ask a question about Kari's car (the famous Checker Taxi, I believe) and implied it was being used for some sort of project? We shall have to wait and see. It was a very cool moment anyhow. I got a photo with him as well and asked him to sign my Neon Noir CD booklet, which he decorated with his famous doodles and catchphrases, most notably "Kari Valo, Boy's Father."

A visit to Aikuisten Lelukauppa naturally demands that you buy some merch so I bought a new tshirt for myself with the alternative design (as a friend had gotten me the more well-known version during her visit a few months prior), merch for friends, and stickers, but also left armed with several Finland/Helsinki guides that Kari provided me with, and a map where he wrote down the name of the rock church. Cutest of all, he just up and gave me some vintage Moomins stamps, which I will cherish forever. After all this, I said I’d be heading out as I did not want to take up any more of Kari’s time but it was a highly memorable first visit, and while I seriously doubt he will ever come across this post I nevertheless feel like I have to express my gratitude to him for his time, his ear, and his generosity. Kiitos paljon Kari! ❤️

.

This was the rest of my afternoon: a visit to the famous Cafe Regatta, which was very cozy, following Kari's advice and visiting the beautiful, peaceful Temppeliaukio Church, and finishing my visit off with an early dinner at a traditional Finnish restaurant, where I had the piniest tasting G and T of my life (I love the smell of pines, not so sure how I feel about drinking them). Couldn't have asked for a better last day in Finland.

The next morning I had to be up at 5 to catch a flight to Frankfurt and then Lisbon, but the discomfort of a super early flight paled in comparison to the happy, floaty feeling of discovering a new place to love and come back to. Thank you so much Finland, you were a dream! I hope to come back sooner rather than later and potentially write another Finland Chronicles, maybe in warmer temperatures! Moi moi for now, though!

And to finish this off, here's a little Aikuisten Lelukauppa haul with all the things I mentioned above, as well as a small Helsinki/Helldone haul, since I didn't think to do one for the very first instalment of this series. It includes a VVgram beanie, an eyebrow pencil and two eyeliners from Finnish brand Lumene (conspicuously absent was their Nordic Noir range, I wonder if Ville bought it all up lmao), and face wipes. Yes, face wipes, because they saved me multiple times when the snow settling then melting on my eyelashes would cause my mascara to melt and smudge all around my eyes. Pro-tip ladies: have some wipes in your bag when experiencing Finnish winter, or just snowy winters in general. Or maybe just wear a more resistant mascara than the one I use.

Thanks to anyone who read through these posts, and apologies for how much longer they got with each update. Nevertheless, I hope it was an enjoyable read and maybe even useful to those of you considering visiting Finland. Much love and here's to hoping 2024 brings many more adventures! 💙🤍