#the ******* *** posts are insufferable from an outside pov

[bonefall]

Talk and/or rant about why you like Bumble from DotC please?

Bumble makes me want to cry. Her story is just... heartbreaking. She's one of the sweetest, most honest characters in the entire series, and the way she is abused by Tom the Wifebeater and denied asylum by the Moor Cats, then murdered for Clear Sky's arc, genuinely makes me feel sick.

But I've talked about that before. Many, many times. Let me celebrate her brief life for this one post, just covering her during The Sun Trail. Her first appearance in Book 2 where Clear Sky murders her, Thunder Rising, is the start of the scene that begins her slow, agonizing death.

I don't only love her out of spite for how she died; I love her because she was a wonderful, warm, confident character, and an excellent friend. She provided relief from the agonizing Settler group, who are insufferably angsty and controlling of each other, and most importantly, space away from Turtle Tail's awful friend, Gray Wing.

The closer that Bumble gets to Turtle Tail, the more confrontational Gray Wing becomes. He starts to hate Bumble, as if she's stealing his Plan B while he spends all the rest of his time with Storm. I'm convinced that the writers (and the fandom sometimes <_<) believe that this is "compelling romantic drama" which makes Turtle x Gray sweeter when it finally happens, but it just makes me feel like TurtleGray is the Bad Ending for every woman character involved.

After a brief appearance as she witnesses the Settlers arrive on the moor, the very first time we get to meet Bumble is when Gray Wing and Turtle Tail are hanging out on some sunny rocks. She's cheerful, outgoing, and curious, wanting to get to know her new neighbors.

Gray Wing, the POV character, immediately makes an incorrect assumption about her weight, thinking she won't be able to climb. She can, just fine, and she plays an Uno Reverse card on how skinny they are lmao

First thing out of her mouth is, "Oh you are SKIN AND BONES!!" Same energy as grandma who is about to make you feel more full than you have ever been in your entire life, considering she's going to open her home to Turts in a couple chapters.

They get into a conversation where Bumble asks where they came from, and why they left the mountains. She remains friendly and open, just enjoying small talk with these total strangers. She's enjoyable and lighthearted, in welcome contrast to the Settler's group which is full of moping, miserable cats.

(and in my live-read I was even frustrated at the time by how it seemed like the Settlers would have 1 or 2 nice moments, and then go back to fighting or brooding. It's unpleasant.)

In this first interaction it's just a glimmer, but it seems that what Turtle Tail LIKES about Bumble is that she makes her feel special. She LISTENS, unlike how Gray Wing is going to be in a couple of chapters.

She likes telling the shocking tale of giant birds to Bumble, and Bumble is happy that they're away from such hardships now. When Turtle Tail turns the questions back on her, Bumble is happy to gush about her life as a house cat.

She loves her people, playing with their children and always having plenty of food, explaining that when she gets bored she comes to the woods for a nice walk. Then, she mentions something very important.

Historically, there WAS no aggression towards outsiders. Cats like Bumble didn't take what they didn't need, and were left alone for it. This first interaction paints the full picture. Bumble wasn't afraid of the Settlers because there never was a reason to be scared.

CLEAR SKY is inventing the borders to aggrieve random cats. Him. His idea. Before him, you could walk through the forest freely like Bumble did.

This is before the arc irrevocably goes up in flames at the end of Book 3 by committing to a Clear Sky "Redemption," and is forced to create One Eye and Slash out of nowhere for Books 4/5/6. Before that absolutely baffling mistake of a choice, it is clear that The Settlers are the problem.

There WAS no Slash or One Eye. They were retconned in midway through the arc to make Clear Sky and The Settlers look less bad.

After this exchange, Turtle Tail dismisses Bumble's way of life and chuckles at a joke Gray Wing makes about how they'll probably never see Bumble again because she'll be afraid of them... but she's thinking about her. It strikes me as being the same kind of feeling as the swirling, murky feeling of a new crush.

Can't get the chunky kitty girl out of her head, can you, Turtle Tail?

We don't see Bumble for a few more chapters, but in her next appearance, it's implied she's been visiting Turtle Tail for a while. Gray Wing sees them sharing a meal. Please note how Turts is immediately defensive. As if she feels like she's being caught in the middle of doing something wrong.

(Tangent: note the constant suspicion and aggression towards Wind and Gorse. who live here.)

Gray Wing is as oblivious as ever. For a character described as "wise" he's incredibly dense towards the feelings of others. Yet, always, ALWAYS, Bumble is cheerful. This brewing animosity is NOT returned, she's happy to see him again.

He tries to recruit her to the moor group and she enthusiastically declines with a "No way! I love my life, actually!"

As soon as she's out of earshot, Here Comes The Confrontation. The exact one that Turtle Tail correctly anticipated when she got defensive earlier;

"You shouldn't have friends I don't approve of, Turtle Tail. It bothers me."

How can I NOT love Bumble? When her primary purpose is to be a friend for Turtle Tail, while Gray Wing is either ignoring her or sending her on guilt trips through this entire book? She's RELIEF for a woman who's being treated like trash, and every time she shows up she's doing something cute or helpful!

(Tangent: This book's pacing is garbage. The next scene is a sudden fox raid where a billion foxes attack the camp, and then the Settlers reveal that they don't know what a fox is. BUMBLE taught Turtle Tail about the danger of foxes. This is contradicted by the later books where there's cats back at the tribe named after foxes and Quiet Rain calls her shittiest son a foxheart. But there's waaay worse continuity errors in this arc.)

Gray Wing, the POV, hates her for no goddamn reason. It's right there on the page that he can't give Turtle Tail an answer as to why she should stop hanging out with her. The two continue to fight as Turts desperately tries to salvage their relationship while Gray Wing finds ways to snap at her or offend her.

I think the next appearance of Bumble is actually the most cringeworthy, though. I get secondhand embarrassment reading this one.

Turts just stayed with her friend overnight, and Gray Wing throws a fit about it, hissing at her that she's using the wrong terms and that she's forgotten where she belongs. Bumble watches this all happen like 😬, and then when Turtle Tail apologizes for this asshole having a conniption, he hisses AGAIN and whines about how he doesn't need to be apologized for.

But Bumble, up to her very last appearance in this book, is helpful and open.

After Gray Wing is nearly slaughtered by Fox at the border on Clear Sky's orders, so he kills him in self defense, causing Clear Sky to disown Gray Wing as his brother, which is the final straw for the pregnant Storm to run off, and then The Pacing Brothers have a casual chat over the still-warm corpse of the dead lackey, the input lag finally sends the signal to Gray Wing's brain that he needs to go find Storm.

It's BUMBLE that tells him where she can be found, as always, cutting through tension. Turtle Tail stays behind because she's understandably fed up with Gray Wing, so Bumble brings him where he needs to go. She guides him through the town, over roads, to the abandoned building where Storm is staying.

Gray Wing whines the whole time because he is a loser.

It's also interesting to me that when Bumble's annoyed with him, she doesn't huff or even get rude. She just glances back, and points out that there's disadvantages to his lifestyle too. You get used to it.

In better books, Gray Wing's POV would be considered unreliable in the end. He's an oblivious jackass whose thickness causes him to treat other people poorly, EXCEPT for his monstrous brother, whose violence and abuse he enables through the entire series. Though he's hailed as a "perfect boy so very full of love," he causes a LOT of the problems in his own relationships and familial dynamics.

Smarter books would encourage you to step back and think critically about the events as he perceived them;

Why did his judgement of Bumble begin to harden as Turtle Tail spent more time with her? Did Bumble do anything to deserve this?

Did Gray Wing's behavior lead to Turtle Tail's eventual decision to leave the moor? Were there other factors?

What are the flaws he can identify about himself? How will he grow from this?

Are there broader problems with The Settlers, which may have influenced the mindsets of both Turtle Tail and Gray Wing?

Unfortunately with Gray Wing, the only thing they identify as a "problem" in how he treated Turts in The Sun Trail is that he spent less time with her, as he pursued Storm. The controlling behavior and frequent arguing, the condescension, and the public embarrassment are NOT treated as negative traits to address as the series goes on.

(they never are. These are not directly addressed in any of the other terrible men in the series; Clear Sky, Bramblestar, Raggedstar, etc. only paternal neglect is condemned. Men are even allowed to beat their kids and it will not be called out.)

And breaking through that lens, you see Bumble. Who is just here to be a person that Turtle Tail needs, a good friend, someone who's confident, self-assured, and LOVES the life that she lives. I can't help but feel joy every time she walks onto the screen in The Sun Trail, because Gray Wing is SO frustrating that I'm rooting for Turtle Tail to go somewhere that she'll be appreciated.

It's as if they NEEDED to invent Tom the Wifebeater, who spawns in like some kind of random event just before Thunder Rising (the humans just... went to the shelter and adopted The Worst Cat. No checks on if he's aggressive towards other cats or anything), so that Turtle would HAVE some kind of reason to leave. Because, as you can see here, she wouldn't have gone back otherwise.

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 2

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

The Forgers' first family outing is when we start to get an idea of how well they complement each other. When he realizes that Anya and Yor aren't exactly Eden tier citizens, Twilight is understandably upset. He even goes so far as to think he may have chosen the wrong child and wife for the job (also the last time he ever thinks this).

As for Yor, we see that she has a noticeable liking for weapons, which makes sense considering her job as an assassin. She stares almost longingly at a painting of a guillotine at the museum, and fondles her knife at the restaurant, much to Twilight's confusion.

But what's interesting is that this is the only time we ever see her exhibit this behavior, and I think it's because she's since found more important things to feel deeply about, like motherly love for Anya and tenderness for Loid (she's always had Yuri, but she's not together interacting with and observing him as often as she will be with Anya and Loid). Whether this was an intentional tidbit of character development from Endo, I can't say, but from a narrative perspective, it definitely fits.

This episode also shows the first of many eventual times where Yor has just the right words of comfort for an exasperated Twilight. Despite the fact that, at this point, she hadn't fully embraced her mother/wife role yet, she takes notice of how worked up he had gotten at the restaurant and suggests that they go outside for some air.

When they see the old lady being robbed, Twilight shows no intention of getting involved – spies aren't supposed to attract attention to themselves with showy heroic acts after all. But once Yor rushes over to help, he decides to follow her lead because, again, he's a decent guy who wants to help people even though he prefers doing it secretively. There was no benefit to Yor for helping the old lady except for the fact that, like Twilight, she's a good person who wants to help others, but isn't inhibited by having to keep up a spy persona like he is. But as for why Yor is so quick to react when others need help, but is at a loss when she herself is a target, like when her coworkers were insufferably rude to her at the party, is a part of her personality that I'll discuss more later down the line.

This is also the first of a few scenes where Anya insists that Loid and Yor are flirting/going to kiss, and they immediately deny it, in an almost uncharacteristically abrupt way.

While it's a very short scene, it's especially strange for the calm and collected Twilight to get worked up about some silly thing Anya says. I don't think Twilight and Yor are romantically in love this early in the series, but the fact that they reacted like this does hint at the possibility that they know the other is not a typical man/woman (in a good way) and they're not sure how they feel about it. Hence the exaggerated reactions when confronted with those ambiguous feelings.

Later that day, as an exhausted Twilight tries once more to go over the interview questions, we get a scene from his POV of Anya and Yor happily sitting on the couch with their teacups. This causes Twilight to think back to the old lady's words about what a nice family they are, to which he tells himself that means they must have made some progress. There are several scenes like this throughout the series that show something from his perspective that is, what I like to call, "softly emphasized." The scene itself doesn't seem like anything major, and Twilight isn't making a big deal about it, yet the scene covers a decently sized panel in the manga and has a sort of "fuzziness" to its shading, conveying a warm, gentle feeling (the anime usually lingers on the scene for a few moments and/or may add fuzzy, warm filtering to the colors and sound).

While other characters do occasionally get scenes like this too, I think the reason Twilight has more of them is because of the kind of character he is, namely, an unreliable narrator. For most characters, even if they lie out loud, we as the audience get insight into their thoughts, and typically that's where we know what they're really feeling. But because Twilight is such a competent liar, and has spent much of his life donning one false identity after another, he insists on deceiving not only others, but himself as well. As a result, even his thoughts are not a reliable source for his true feelings. So to me, Endo includes scenes like this – something that seems mundane, but for Twilight, it's triggering feelings of warmth and comfort, despite whatever his expression, words, or thoughts might tell us – as a subtle yet more sure way of knowing what he's really feeling. In this case, despite his sour expression, he's slowly starting to feel comfortable with Anya and Yor, especially when he recalls that someone saw them as a lovely family.

Continue to Part 3 ->

<- Return to Part 1

[oh-no-a-new-hiperfocus-hit-me]

Hello, this is Robin. :) @arson-n-barf @scott-is-hyperfixating

This is my side blog no one knows because I literally never post on here. Anyways here's the first chapter and it might be because I've read it like 5 times already but I hate this with a fierce passion. Like. Anyways, next chapter is Hawks ( because I'm alternating the povs) and it's gonna be ready on Tuesday.

Any ideas and constructive criticism are welcome!

It was late at night and it was dark. A starless sky watched as mere mortals tried and failed to find purpose in life, dying in their never ending search for it. Dabi hummed a soft melody while walking, her hair brushing her burned shoulders ever so lightly. She wore an old black cape that had seen better days, and plain brown shirt and pants. She played mindlessly with the pieces of metal on her face, not only holding her skin together but also adorning her ears and nose.

The town was quiet, most were asleep. Much like Dabis cape, the houses and cabins of wood and stone had seen better. They were dirty and had an abandoned air to them, almost like ghosts were their only inhabitants. The woman could relate to that, she'd always felt very empty, too old, too useless. Unlike her though, the houses, the streets, the village; were all filled with fierce life inside, the dead like outside nothing but a facade to trick strangers.

That became clear once more when Dabi finally decided to end her walk, entering a dark alley. There, a dark door of enchanted wood waited for her. She opened it, the doors handle shining under long fingers. As she stepped inside she was immediately overwhelmed by the amounts of light and noise. The bar roared with vivacity, all kinds of beings drinking and chatting, kissing and fighting even.

They were all citizens of the great kingdom of Akarui, where blood was spilled in the shadows and people were burned at stakes. Not quite people actually, at least not all of them. All mortals perhaps, but all different from each other. For in the world they lived in everyone was different, looked different, behaved differently…

And had unique powers.

Elfs, vampires, dwarfs, fairies. Every kind of magical being you can imagine, all under the rule of one King, and of course the almighty Security Council. Knights and warriors were formed to maintain peace, and to assure the safety of the people. Well, not all people. The loud, weird, "dangerous" ones who were here, never got any protection. Really, as Dabi saw it they rarely got anything at all.

Ignoring all of them as well as the thoughts concerning her old grudge, she went straight to the back. Dabi opened a little hidden curtain, and a long corridor waited for her. She walked to the last door, and kicked it three times. A blue face opened it, eyes filled with rage.

"Fucking shit, you're late!"

"No shit, bitch"

She entered the room without ceremony, throwing herself in her own bed. Her roommate, Shigaraki, looked at her like she had just killed his puppy.

"We have a band to commit to! You can't just do whatever you want!"

"Actually the last time I checked I was my own person who can do whatever the fuck she wants."

"You're insufferable"

"You're an ass"

"Well, you are-"

"Dabi!" The door that connected their room to the other one opened with a loud noise and a girl with blond hair and sharp fangs threw herself into Dabis arms.

"Hey kid" She got up, Toga still clinging to her. "How was your day ?"

"It was awesome! Twice taught me how to make pie and big sister Magne is teaching me archery!"

"Nice."

Dabi was a woman of few words, yet, that didn't seem to diminish Toga's excitement in the least.

"Can we focus on what's important here ? We have a show guys!"

"Is shigaraki whining about us being late to the show again ? Cause' I don't really think the customers are gonna care. They're pretty drunk, you know. Oh, hey Dabi." Compress was standing in the doorway, and she could see Magne and Twice behind him. "How'd your walk around town go ?

"Went well. Nothing much. Nothing new."

The man nodded. He was tall, sun kissed skin under orange clothes and a black mask he never took off.

"Hey-o you guys! Shigarakis kind of right! We better get going!" A tall man with a another black mask and an energy Dabi didn't know how he had, Twice loomed over Compress, wearing all black and gray, though she could see some of his blonde hair shaping the mask.

"Someone's here gotta have a half a brain enough to listen to me." Shigaraki murmured under his breath.

Dabi rolled her eyes but didn't ague. They did need the money from tonight's gig. A couple more days and they would have enough to go to the next town. The owners husband had been kind enough to let them stay here, after all.

As they headed to the stage, Shigaraki and Spinner tuning their guitars while Himiko sat by the piano, Dabi thought she would miss this place. They'd been there for nearly a month, playing in every bar and every party that would have them. It was a small town in the countryside of the kingdom. But unlike others, it was a refuge for outcasts. You could find every kind of being there, from mages to vampires; from nymphs to elves. Rumor had it the town was protected by one of Akaruis most powerful crime families, and so no bigoted people dared to attack it. It was nice.

The woman had many reasons to want to be in monster town, away from the spotlights of the capital. A cold breeze came in through an open window, and with her eyes closed, letting darkness and coldness embrace her, she stepped onto the stage.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Burned Birdie stay true

Her lungs stang like they were being pierced by a thousand needles.

Burned Birdie stay here

Her lips were dry and her throat hurt.

Burned Birdie don't you prey on me, prey on me

The burned bird was her, and her fire had destroyed its feathers. She didn't want to think about it.

Burned Birdie stay true

The little crowd erupted in applause when the song ended. They'd been there for three hours already, in not so long dawn would be coming, and they were all tired as fuck.

The bartender paid them what the owner owed, not much, but enough. It had to be.

Dabi went back to the room she shared with Shigaraki, while Toga, Twice and Magne went to the room next door, and Compress and Spinner to theirs.

"Holy fuck I think I'm gonna die of thirst." The woman threw herself on the floor, but trying to out dramatic Tomura was never worth it. Motherfucker was a class A drama king.

"Not if I die first" He hit his head against a wall, got a bottle she knew he'd been hiding from everyone in his dirty clothes; and half stumbling, fell, lying next to her.

"Wanna cure your thirst ?" He waved the bottle in her direction.

She gpt it from his hand, laughing. She would feel more thrifty afterwards, her throat hurting even more, her lips even drier; she knew it. But hell if she cared.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"So you're saying Himiko's new hobby is… writing ?"

"Writing love stories, shiggy."

"Don't fucking call me that. So she was talking to Spinner and Compress, and ?"

"And she wanted to know how to write a… spicy scene with an elf."

"Why the fuck, an elf ?!"

"I think she's writing about her crushes." Dabi took another sip. "Do you remember that dancer who was said to have performed at the princes birthday? She said she can tell he's hot from a painting she saw. So she's writing about that."

"OK but what do they have to do with that ?"

"Well she approached Compress and my man Spinny and told them about her story. And the… and then…" Dabi was already bending in laughter from remembering the man's faces when they'd told her "Then Toga asked Spinner if he'd ever had a lover who was an elf. She asked for details Shiggy. Can you imagine their faces ?"

"Elfs suck" Shigaraki was smiling but seemed to be feeling bittersweet about the story.

"Yeah, kinda. They're hot thou."

Shigaraki made a disagreeing noise, but didn't answer. He looked lost in thought.

At times like this, Dabis thoughts could run free through her mind. The memories she kept in a small locked chest when she was sober, came to her like an ocean wave. But she didn't care. Couldn't bring herself to. For once those tiny, happy children in her memory were distant, not her, not her siblings, but something else entirely.

Shigaraki was looking at the ceiling next to her, clearly almost asleep. She could hear Magnes and Compress snoring. They would have to leave, sure, and she liked the little town of outcasts but as long as she had these freaks with her she'd be ok. No one else was looking after them, no one else would. Tomura was like a brother ( a bratty, annoying, one, but still), they had met ten long year ago, and build something on friendship, music and friendly fighting. Something she wouldn't trade for the world.

Yeah, Dabi had a brother.

More than one, actually, she thought as a bird entered through the broken window, and delivered her a letter.

She had no energy to get up, but she didn't need to. She'd read it tomorrow. The words would wait for her. She fell asleep with the letter in one hand and shigarakis empty bottle in the other.

[mostlymaudlin]

Instagram husband? 👀🤭

@thewholelemon asked for this too!

so, some may be familiar with my great british bake off au, Nothing Equals The Splendor. this takes place in the same universe! it's another one where im not sure why i didn't finish it, because it's over halfway done.. but whatever lol. im actually going to put the rest under a read more because there's a HUGE spoiler for the original fic!!

soooo if you remember, simon won the championship. and now he has to be really active on social media to reap the benefits. and baz makes it his mission to ensure that they have good content to post LOL, so he's constantly taking pics of simon (like an instagram husband). the fic is actually told in a collection of outsider POV vignettes -- niall, shep, dev, and penny -- before coming back to simon/baz povs.

now that im looking at this, i think the reason i stopped writing it is that there's Tension that arises between simon and baz bc of all this social media stuff and i kind of didnt want to deal with it once i got into their heads -- bc the outside povs were so fun!! esp bc i loved my versions of niall and dev in this verse.

i'll give you the full dev pov scene, because why not lol:

I didn’t expect Malcolm to take Baz’s whole new thing well. Baz’s dad has always put a lot of pressure on him. I don’t think he expected Natasha Pitch’s son to grow up to be a queer socialist. (Baz’s politics are kind of bullshit since he’s still paying rent and tuition with Daddy’s old family money. But so am I, so I can’t really judge.)

Anyway, I certainly didn’t expect this: Malcolm and Baz’s boyfriend chummin’ it up at my grandmother’s garden party. Simon had expressed mild interest in Malcolm’s newest magickal livestock endeavor (Literal fire-breathing guinea pigs. Inspired.). It devolved from there. 

I’ve always maintained that my uncle Malcolm is a softie underneath it all — mostly because I know that’s how Baz is. The Grimms are sensitive folks. And as soon as you give their weird niche topics a spoonful of attention, they fall apart like putty in your hands. You should hear Baz wax on about baking, it’s insufferable. But also very sweet. 

Or maybe Simon Snow has some kind of secret key to a Grimm’s heart. 

“Wait, my American friend taught me this one,” Simon says, reaching his hands out for Malcolm’s youngest kid, Swithin. “I've been working on the railroad / All the live-long day. / I've been working on the railroad / Just to pass the time away!”

They’re several drinks deep, passing Swithin back and forth on the steps of the back porch and singing him nursery rhymes. Malcolm just finished a rousing rendition of Ladybird, Ladybird! that made Swithin coo with laughter. 

“Dinah, won't you blow, / Dinah, won't you blow, / Dinah, won't you blow your horn?” Simon’s voice is carrying now, Swithin bouncing joyously on his knee. 

Daphne and I are standing nearby, watching the whole affair with wide eyes. 

“What is happening right now?” Baz hisses. I jump — I hate when he sneaks up on me. Stealthy motherfucker. 

“Shhhh,” I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. “They’re bonding. Nature is healing.”

Daphne laughs at that, loud enough that both Malcolm and Simon look over at us, cheeks equally pink as they realize they’re putting on a show. Daphne takes out her phone and takes a photo of them. She’s lucky the porch lights are on — the sky is a dusky purple at this stage in the evening.  

“Could you please send that to me, Mum?” Baz asks, his voice small. I’m worried he genuinely might cry. 

“It can go on my Instagram!” Simon calls over. Baz grins, walking over to sit next to him on the steps. Swithin reaches for Baz, and he swoops him up, kissing his forehead. Then he leans over and kisses Simon’s forehead as well. 

Malcolm doesn’t even flinch.

[napkinscrawls]

."Dance with me?". .Post-show rituals.

No pairings/vague polycule vibes | OC pov | drug use | 1,049 words | bad dancing & general fun

Hearding ghouls post-show. AO3

Eleanor was once again chasing down the herd of cats known as the band ghouls. She had already checked with Andea in her cubby hole of wires under the stage, the roadie hadn't seen a wisp of them since the show & was just grateful their feet hadn't been stomping about overhead anymore.

Now, the ghouls playing games is all fair, they got to get the pre-show jitters out, & post-show fun to cool off. The go-to in this summer heat was getting insufferably high & bicker over the shower order. The tour bus shower only had so much hot water. The current issue is where the ghouls were doing this today: the green room was quickly veto-ed as venues did not appreciate the smell- the tour bus for the same reason, & outside wasn't safe with phone-wielding fans still milling around… The stands were all that was left.

The massive fucking stands.

Eleanor's ever present smile twitches & she stares out of the stage, begging to see some rising smoke or movement in the dark. Even an unwelcome naked jacksy would be proof of life, she'd seen all at this point, probably could differentiate by them.

There.

Launching off the stage Eleanor lands solidly thanks to her favourite red boots. Counting the group in the distance & finding them laid out like dead bumble bees, all except for the three who are tussling to the side. Eleanor couldn't see but already knows who the rough-housers are. Call it wisdom. The melted ghouls aren't going anywhere so she goes to meet the trio first. All were accounted for at least.

"Sorting the order out, lads?" Eleanor calls out as she catches a body that falls her way, having lost balance from a shove.

The two remaining ghouls are each trying to stomp on one another's feet. The shorter one is being kept at arm's length but tries an barrage method anyway, muffled expletives coming out strained against the large hand on his face. "Pissing- shitter- get! back! here!-" Each word followed by the sound of a sole slapping on concrete.

His opponent goads "Almost got me droplet! Ooo- Have another go."

With every attempt Dewdrop makes to lean out of Aether's grip, the bastard follows him round, the two stumble about in circles.

From the smokers pile a long foot flexes along to the irregular rhythm of stomping, somehow finding a pattern to it.

Eleanor huffs at being ignored, entirely expecting it but still amused. Slowly the figure in her arm stands, a warm hand clasping onto her shoulder as he steadies himself. At this closeness Swiss' smile was unmistakable.

"shhh! Don't tell 'em." He whispered conspiratorially "They're fighting over the last slot."

She looks up at the multi-ghoul with disbelief high on her unemotive brow. "Surely you've already lost that-'' Her words are cut off by the palm on her shoulder having moved to cover her mouth. Another harsh hushing sound followed by a shake of Swiss' head.

"No no no, not me, I'm just a referee." A referee who had been donkey-kicking the players' shins.

Eleanor widens her eyes at him & Swiss removes his offending hand. He does not fully retreat though, once his hand is out of her line of sight he reaches down to her other arm's hand. She is distracted with pursing her lips in an attempt to remove the heat of Swiss' hand. Taking advantage of this he cups her hand & brings it up to eye level. Shifting on his feet to properly stand in front of the Custos, & despite still wearing his helmet, miraculously Swiss oozes charm.

"Dance with me?" Swiss says lightly as his free hand graces the underside of her elbow, in the hint of a dancing hold.

"Pardon?" Eleanor's face may have stayed calm but her voice wavers.

A smile breaks out on what is visible of his face & he jerks his chin towards the duo who are still attempting a demented tap-dance, once her eyes land on them he continues. "I'm jealous & want to be spun about like a princess."

A wheeze came from the horizontal bassist.

Ignoring it, Swiss pouts. "I beg thee, Custos Eulogy, grant my feeble heart this blessing~ A small reward for good behaviour?" In the low light the goggle lenses made for a suitable illusion of big puppy eyes.

His display is only hampered by the chorus that erupts behind him, all offering evidence to the contrary, & some were even legible.

"Kept the bat plushie for himself."

"Peed on the toilet seat."

"Ate my pick."

"Didn't you trip Papa today?"

Swiss hisses as if stung with holy water instead of betrayal. His head flops back as he whines, "So I'm flawed~ Ol' Nick wouldn't fault that!" Pivoting his head back round to Eleanor, "Mayhaps some encouragement then?" The twinkle is back. His hold more confident.

"Hmm." She passively responds, but doesn't make a move to leave.

Swiss waggles his eyebrows.

Eleanor shrugs in defeat.

Barely given the time to open her eyes, Eleanor is launched into a lively jig with the multi-ghoul. Eleanor couldn't help the laughter bubbling from her own mouth, foreign as it sounds. Following Swiss' lead, the two danced across the empty floor, spinning around & overlapping with the duelling pair. The sound of more tapping feet finally makes the fighters take note of their surroundings; Aether whistles at a particularly fancy twirl of Eleanor's skirts, leaving himself defenceless. Dewdrop takes full advantage & his boot finds its mark, squarely on Aether's right foot. The quintessence ghoul yelps, causing the rest to shoot up from their stupor.

Dewdrop briefly celebrates before sensing the impending consequences heading his way & bravely chooses to bolt out the side exit. Aether is in hot pursuit, only slightly limping as he gains on the fire ghoul, growling a promise. Hoots & cheers fill the giant hall as the whole pack collect themselves to join in the stampede, with varying levels of competency. The last part of their still functioning minds eeking out just enough adrenaline to carry them to the tour bus. Eleanor herself is scooped up with ease by Swiss, unperturbed by her weight, his skip flows seamlessly to a long strided run. There is no doubt she'll end up in the showers too. She just silently prays Papa is already deep asleep.

[mccleans]

[shrunkyclunksbang]

Title: Not all relics are 100 year old supersoldiers

Posting: The week of August 14th

Author: Kel @kalee60​ [Twitter] [AO3]

Artist: Rufferto9 [AO3]

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes

Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe, Action/Adventure, Captain America/Modern Bucky Barnes, Identity porn, Misunderstandings, Explicit sexual content, canon typical violence, on the run, strangers to lovers, communication is key, alternating POV, Bucky is a modern Indiana Jones, Natasha is a good bro, fights, minor injuries, alien artifact, falling in love, Top Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes

Summary:

If asked, Bucky Barnes would call himself a modern day adventurer. He roamed the world collecting and cataloguing artifacts and relics for a living, his only help in the form of his enigmatic assistant, Natasha. Sure, it was a lonely life, but it was hard to meet people in his line of work, so he survived on random hook-ups to let off steam, not needing any more than that.

But when he meets the handsome stranger Steven in a Puerto Ricon bar, everything changes. How on earth could a man like Steven exist, and not only that, want Bucky?

One scorching hot encounter later, it all went to hell.

Because earlier that day, Bucky had discovered an alien artifact on his dig, unwittingly becoming a target to a rival collector. A rival who wanted Bucky's find and was not asking for it nicely. In fact, Bucky was suddenly running for his life, without even the chance to say goodbye to Steven. And just when Bucky had given up hope of survival, it's an Avenger who comes to his rescue. Captain America himself.

Yet, why was the hero acting funny and stand-offish with Bucky? Why wouldn’t he take off his mask, and why did he seem so damn familiar?

Cue a bunch of misunderstandings, alien technology that won’t quit and two stupid boys who can’t see what’s right in front of their noses.

Excerpt:

“Tony, I need you to come to my location now, or send a suit. Maybe both - actually, both.” Steve didn’t bother with a greeting once he’d passed the encryptions to Tony’s personal phone. He was just thankful he’d picked up.

“Why hello to you too, Captain Pina Colada. Lovely to hear from your tone that you’re relaxed and refreshed from your holiday and that you’re currently lounging around in a…gas station? What tour group did you sign up -”

“I don’t have time for your inane quips - come now!”

“Inane, I’ll have you know -”

“I mean it Tony.” Steve squeezed the ridge of his nose between a finger and thumb, knowing he was about to open himself up to a world of pain and ribbing. “I need your help.”

Tony was silent for all of a second, “be there in ten.”

Then he was gone, the smirk in his voice clear as day.

“Shit,” Steve said into the empty receiver, then hung his head in defeat. Tony would be insufferable, but it was for Bucky…for Nat. He swallowed away the bitterness in the back of his throat. Bucky wasn't for him.

“Err, excuse me? Mr America?”

Steve placed the phone back into its cradle and looked over his shoulder at the kid manning the register. He wouldn’t have been a day over sixteen, and Steve was ready to plaster a smile on to say thanks, when he realised the kid wasn't about to ask for an autograph. He was pointing outside towards the car instead.

Oh no...

Running from the back of the store, Steve burst into the parking lot to find six armoured vehicles and twenty masked Hydra operatives flanking the SUV. Of course they would have tracked it. Steve was losing his edge, he’d been compromised by Bucky.

Bucky.

The same Bucky who was stumbling from the back of the car, landing in the dirt on his hands and knees, head bowed, breathing heavily.

[andreafmn]

I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 3

Word Count: 3,195

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 3/?

Warnings:  brief mention of attempted suicide

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 3

"Time!" Mr. Harris looked up from his watch. "If you catalyzed the reaction correctly, you should now be looking at a crystal."

I looked down at my beaker and saw a horrible concoction of half crystal and half goo. Thanks to Stiles, my last partner of this weird-ass rotation the chemistry teacher had us partake in. Yet even though I didn't get with Stiles that well I was relieved that he was my partner. Isaac had been completely insufferable these last few days and I couldn't handle that.

"Now this part of the experiment I'm sure you'll all enjoy. You can eat it." I was bummed that I couldn't eat mine and I guess Lydia noticed.

"Hey, (Y/N), we can share mine. Don't frown." I smiled at her and she returned it.

After Lydia gave me half her rock crystal, Scott just stood up and screamed our names to stop, and everyone else just stared at us. We both turned and gave the boy a weird stare before diverging our attention back to the candy. After clinking our candies against the other, we savored the sweet treat.

Allison's POV

"Derek is outside waiting for (Y/N) and Lydia," Scott said.

"Waiting to kill them?"

"If he thinks one of them is the Kanima, then yes. Especially after what happened at the pool."

"It's not Lydia."

"Stiles, she didn't pass the test, man. Nothing happened."

"No, it can't be her."

"Well, it's not (Y/N) either."

"Well, it could be her."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" What the hell was his problem?

"Well, we have no idea who she is, and she hasn't really proven to be a good person. And the attacks did start after she first arrived at Beacon Hills."

"You don't know her, I do. Believe me, it's not her. I've known her my whole life. I think I would have noticed her turning into a killing lizard and I don't think I would be here to tell you. So, we can cross her out." We both sighed. "But it doesn't matter because Derek thinks it's one of them. So, either we can convince him that he's wrong or we've got to figure out a way to protect them."

"Well, I don't think he's gonna do anything here. Not at school." Scott stepped in.

"What about after school?" I asked and he sighed. "What if we can prove that Derek's wrong?"

"By three o'clock?"

"There can be something in the bestiary."

"Oh, you mean the 900-page book written in Archaic Latin that none of us can read? Good luck with that." Seriously Stiles, not helping. At least I was trying.

"Actually, I think there might be someone who can translate," I said thinking about our guidance counselor.

"Uh, I can talk to Derek maybe convince him to give us a chance to prove it's not either of them or... But if anything happens you guys let me handle it, okay?"

"What does that mean?"

"You can't heal like I do." I stared at him. I wasn't a defenseless baby. "I just don't want you getting hurt."

"I can protect myself." I took the crossbow out of my bag. He said nothing. "What? Did something else happen?"

"I just don't want you getting hurt. Seriously, if anything goes wrong you call me, okay?! I don't care if your dad finds out. Call or text, scream or yell; whatever, I'll find you as fast as I can." He stared straight into my eyes.

"We have until three."

He turned to leave until my crossbow went off. "Ooh." Scott quickly turned around and caught the arrow.

"Aah. Sorry." Stiles handed me the crossbow. "Sorry. Sensed a trigger on that."

Scott's POV

Currently, Stiles was on Lydia's and (Y/N)'s trail, and I was on the field with Boyd trying to find Derek.

"I wanna talk to Derek."

"Talk to me."

"I don't wanna fight."

"Good. Cause I'm twice the size of you" I looked up to find it true.

"True. Really, really true." He smirked. "But you wanna know what I think? I'm twice as fast." I smirked back and tackled him to the ground. Once we stood up, Derek appeared by our side.

"She failed the test." His face held his iconic scowl, and his arms were crossed.

"Yeah, but that doesn't prove anything. Lydia's different."

"I know. At night she turns into a homicidal walking snake."

"I'm not gonna let you kill her."

"Who said I was gonna do it?" I looked back to the school and realized Erica and Isaac were still back in the building. I tried to run towards it, but Boyd threw me down. "I don't know why you think you have to protect everyone now, Scott. But even so, Lydia has killed people and she's gonna do it again. And next time it's gonna be one of us."

"What if you're wrong? For all we know it could also be (Y/N). She didn't pass either, and how is it a coincidence that the attacks started after she arrived?" For a second I could have sworn there was a sign of desperation and worry in his face. But as quick as I blinked the look was gone.

"Lydia was bitten by an alpha. It's her."

"You saw that thing up close. You know it's not like us."

"But it is! We're all shapeshifters. You don't know what you're dealing with. It happens rarely and it happens for a reason."

"What reason?"

"Sometimes the shape you take reflects the person that you are." He gave me his hand and helped me up. "Even Stiles calls her cold-blooded."

"Well, what if she's immune? What if she has something else inside of her that makes her immune to the bite which is why she didn't get paralyzed."

"No one's immune. We've never seen it or heard of it. It's n... It's never happened." He argued.

"What about Jackson?" He looked away. "That's why you tested him, isn't it? Because you gave him what he wanted, didn't you?"

"Scott..."

"You said the bite either kills you or turns you. You were probably hoping that he would die. But nothing happened, right? You have no idea why do you?"

"No." Derek's jaw clenched and I knew I struck a never, so I pressured on buying more time.

"I have a theory. That she's immune and that somehow, she passed it on to Jackson. You know I'm right."

"No!

"You can NOT do this!"

"Look, I can't let her live! You should've known that."

"I was hoping I could convince you but then, I wasn't counting on it." He looked at me frazzled as to what I meant, I just smirked.

(Y/N)'s POV

Being stuck with Stiles and Lydia in the library is torture, an experiment I did not want to know the result of. Actually, just Stiles. Ever since Chemistry he had been on our trail like a lost puppy. Lydia and I had a project to work with, and he was just in the way. He was acting so weird and fidgety, more than usual.

"Hey, Allison. What are you doing here?" Lydia said looking behind her.

"Oh nothing, just wondering if you wanted to get together for a study group."

"Sure, that would actually maybe let the tension leave this group," I said and as we were leaving, Jackson joined.

"Study group? I'm coming with."

"Great." We left through the back door of the library, lord knows why, and we were walking at top speed.

"If we're doing a study group why don't we just stay in the library?" Lydia said. I was asking myself the same thing but since everyone else had stood up, I just followed.

"Because we're meeting up with somebody else."

"Why don't they just meet us at the library?" I asked.

"Oh, that would have been a great idea! Too late."

"Okay, hold on..." Lydia started saying but Jackson stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Lydia, shut up and walk." Jerk.

We all got inside of Stile's jeep since he thought it would be faster that way because we were already late. It was an awkward ride to what I learned was Scott's house. No one said much except for the casual groan or scoff coming from Lydia.

"If we're meeting at Scott's house, where's Scott?" Lydia asked.

"Meeting us here. I think. I hope." Stiles said as he led us up to the front steps and into Scott's house.

Once inside he closed every single lock there was on the door. My reaction was involuntary as I stared at the slim boy in front of me as if he was another worldly creature.

"Uh, there's been a few break-ins in the neighborhood." He then put a chair on the doorknob and now Lydia joined in the stare. "And a murder. Yeah, it was bad."

"Lydia, follow me. I need to talk to you for a minute." Jackson spoke up.

"Seriously, what is going on with everyone?" Lydia said exasperated.

"Actually, I've been thinking the same thing. What the hell is going on?" I asked once Jackon and Lydia were out of sight.

"Nothing. Like we said it's just a study group." Stiles answered and I crossed my arms against my chest. Groveling for an answer seemed completely futile in this situation.

Allison's POV

"You know what, (Y/N). Why don't you go into the kitchen and help yourself to anything or go upstairs and lay down? I think Scott will take a while."

"O-kay?" She headed upstairs with an audible sigh and I motioned to Stiles to give me his phone to dial Scott.

"Hey, it's me. You need to get here. Quick." I looked outside and saw Derek and his pack waiting. I looked at the phone after Scott hung up and started dialing my dad's number.

"What are you doing?"

"I think... I think I have to call my dad."

"But if he finds you here, you and Scott..."

"I know." I stared at him. "What are we supposed to do? They're not here to scare us, okay, they're here to kill Lydia... Or, or even (Y/N)." We stood in silence and I debated on whether if it would be a good idea to call my father. If I did my relationship with Scott would be completely and truly over and if I didn't there could be a chance I would be down a friend or even a cousin.

"I've got an idea." I looked at a nervous Stiles. "Shoot one of them."

"Are you serious?"

"We told Scott we could protect ourselves. So, let's do it, at least give it a shot, right?" I debated for a moment.

"Okay." I don't think I sounded too confident.

"Look, they don't think we're gonna fight, so one of them gets hit, I guarantee they'll take off. So just shoot one of them." His reasoning made sense. I looked outside.

"Which one?"

"Um, Derek, preferably in the head."

"Stiles, if Scott can catch an arrow, Derek definitely can."

"Okay, ah, just shoot one of the other three."

"You mean two?"

"I mean three." Quickly he moved the curtains aside and looked outside to check on the pack. "Where's Isaac?" Without being able to think I was attacked and thrown to the ground and so was Stiles. I don't know how but Isaac found a way in.

(Y/N)'s POV

I was laying down on the bed of what I hoped was a guest room, scrolling through my phone when I heard a crash downstairs. I guess Lydia heard it too because when I looked outside the hallway, there she was. We moved slowly and carefully. After, I started to hear snarling and crashing.

"What's happening?" Lydia cried and I half hugged her as reassurance.

"Get back. Someone's trying to break in, okay? Go." Allison appeared from around the corner.

"I can help," I said.

"Stay." We didn't move. "Guys, go!" We both ran back to the room she was with Jackson and closed the door. Yet, Jackson was nowhere in sight.

"Jackson?!" Lydia screamed and we made our way to the bathroom locking the door.

"Who are you calling?" I asked Lydia as she took out her phone.

"Hi, I-I need the police. Th-there's someone trying to break in." She turned off the light and I heard the door outside slam.

"Stiles! It's here!" Allison screamed. What the hell was IT? Then the door crashed down. Lydia started squirming so I engulfed her in a hug and tried my best to calm her nerves.

"We're gonna be alright." But honestly, I was just as scared. Once silence was the only thing surrounding us, I checked the room. "Okay, I think it's gone. We'll go out slowly."

She nodded and followed me out of the bathroom and later out of the room. We made our way calmly down the hallway and the stairs. That's when I heard the worst screech ever and it was not human. We both ran outside to see what had made such an awful sound and were met by Derek, Isaac, Erica, Boyd, Scott, Stiles, and Allison. What the hell were they all doing here, and why were Erica and Isaac limp on the floor?

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It's Jackson," Scott said. What could that possibly mean?

After everyone had calmed down, Stiles took us back to the school to look for our abandoned cars. As I made my way to my bike, Allison stopped me. Claiming that she was too worried about my safety. Not having the energy to fight, I obliged and got into her car alongside Lydia, who was still a bit shaken from the events.

"I need you to promise that you both won't say anything about what just happened." Allison staged the statement as a request but it was clearly a command.

"I promise not to say anything about what just happened if you could tell me what the HELL just happened," Lydia said, exasperated.

"I'm with Lydia on that one."

"It's kinda complicated." Allison sighed.

"How about you start with why Derek was there?" I spoke. "And Isaac and all of those kids from school?"

"Or where Jackson went or what is wrong with Erica?" She looked down. "Need to come up with a possible lie?"

"Part of the reason I am asking is because Scott and I aren't supposed to be seeing each other, okay?" Seriously? That's your excuse "So it's better if you just keep what you know to yourselves."

"Fine. I'll keep what I know about you and your boyfriend, which is nothing, to myself." Lydia started to get out, but Allison held her back.

"Hey, he's not just my boyfriend, you get that right?"

"Let me go." The strawberry blonde spat.

"Just for one second, please try and remember. "

"Remember what?!" Lydia turned.

"Remember what it feels like. All those times in school when you see him standing in the hall and you cannot breathe until you're with him or those times in class when you can't stop looking at the clock because you know that he is standing right out there, waiting for you. Don't you remember what that's like?"

"No."

"What do you mean no? You've had boyfriends."

"Not like that." She closed the door and left. Allison stared at her until she had reached the door to her house before starting the car back up.

"I know you're lying. This has nothing to do with your relationship with Scott. Maybe like five percent but when you look at the whole picture it's not. So, why don't you actually tell me the truth or I swear I will get out of this car."

"We're moving."

"Doesn't mean I won't jump out."

"What do you want me to say?!"

"The truth. Just tell me why the hell everyone has been acting so weird?"

"You're one to talk." She scoffed.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You! Ever since you've arrived you have pushed everyone away, even though all they have been is nice to you. You're alienating yourself for no reason."

"No reason?! How about the fact that I don't want to grow attached to anyone because I know that once the year ends, I'm gone? It has been like that for almost ten fucking years. Allison, you have only had to move about three times in your life, maybe four. I have been moving every single year since I was eight years old. Don't you think that it doesn't hurt to leave behind people you have grown to love and won't see again, possibly forever?"

"I didn't think..." she sighed.

"Exactly, you didn't think because you don't understand. The last time I grew close to someone, I had to say goodbye and you know what happened?" She shook her head no. "She was bullied into attempting suicide. I did that."

"Are you talking about Josie?" I nodded, roughly wiping away the tears that had spilled. "That wasn't your fault. It was tragic but there was nothing you could have done. You didn't do it."

"I did. She was alone because I left, and I couldn't protect her. She won't even answer my messages. Now, I don't associate myself with people so I don't have to care about what happens to them. That way it doesn't hurt once I leave."

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I didn't know you felt that way. But don't push me away. I will always be a constant in your life. I'm your cousin, I will always be with you." She hugged me and wiped away any other tears left. "I love you but get out."

"Dude, you just ruined the moment."

"No, I mean we're at your house and I have to get home. I love you." She smiled and I got out of the car. Before I could say anything else, she sped off. She knew there was a conversation still lingering and she was trying to avoid it. I just hoped I didn't have to explain myself to anyone else.

I entered the empty house, making sure all the doors were locked, and made my way up the stairs. Opening my bedroom door, Brody jumped off my bed and onto me, slathering my face with kisses.

"Hey, buddy. I missed you too," I laughed. Being near him instantly calmed me and helped me feel more at ease after the night I had.

I changed into my pajamas, too tired to shower, and cuddled with Brody on my bed. Talking about my past always made me tense. I tried my best to stray away from the topic and reveal as little as possible as I could, but it always found a way to be uncovered. As hard as I tried it was the dark cloud that would always follow me around. All I could do was avoid the whole thing as much as I could and hope they didn't bring it up again.

With Brody's warmth next to me, I quickly nodded off to sleep and melted the stress of the day.

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Tag List: @hellowinterlane @lokisgoddesofpower

[lostinornes]

Heavy Is the Head That Wears the Horns

Loki X F!Reader Fic

Asgardian Prince AU

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS MENTIONED

Hey !

Please enjoy the third chapter of Heavy Is the Head That Wears the Horns. Chapters 1 to 25 are all over on AO3 . We have just entered flashback territory, and two Loki POV chapters.

No Y/N and second person POV. Always open and welcome to ideas, suggestions and more.

Had Loki always been this insufferable. As a child sure, he liked to be a bit of a trouble maker, he knew exactly what to do to push anyone’s buttons. Even if it was someone he had just met, he could work out very quickly how to find his way under their skin. But you thought after some time apart he would enjoy actually spending time together again. “You’ll always be my favourite Loki” you mocked to yourself under your breath. Your hands flying up dramatically as a slight stomp found its way into your step. “Who does he think he is” You questioned aloud, as you pushed your way into the wash room. “Arrogant and cocky, could he be any worse!” You rested your hands either side of the wash basin, staring back at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes actively scanned the view in front of you, trying to work out the quickest way to hide the frustration so clearly painted on your face. A slight streak of light leaked into the room, that you would have never noticed if the door had not opened shortly after. Your hands quickly patted your cheeks, as you tried to flush the thoughts of that pain out of your mind.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought the washroom was vacant”

“Oh no, it is okay. I was just about to leave” You forced a small smile onto your face, before turning to the other female in the room.

“Those princes really are something” The other woman seemed to have a hint of frustration in her voice, her eyes scanning actively over your body as she tried to read your reaction.

“I guess…” You couldn’t help but have your interested peaked by this woman. She was dressed in a stunning black gown, little details of gold embellished across the bodice. Her dark hair was loosely pinned out of her face, and her lips painted in a bold dark red. But there was something unusual about her eyes, her face read as warm and welcoming but there was something else behind there. You could sense it.

“Thor truly is making such a fool of himself” You rested your body lightly against the basin, your arms crossed as you gave this figure your full attention.

“I know, but that Loki … I mean wow…” You watched as her face twisted from a sweet smile, slowly becoming more of a smirk.

“Wow? What does that mean?” Again, she pried into your statement, you could tell now she was clearly trying to draw information out of you.

“Wow” You stated back flatly. You pushed your body finally away from the support behind you. Now standing face to face with the woman in front of you. You saw confusion in her eyes now, as you steadily began to close the gap between yourselves. Slowly you leant in, your mouth now inches from her ear. “Wow, as in how could someone be so incredibly stupid to transform outside of the bathroom and not expect me to notice” You pulled away again, a grin planted on your face. This was the mood booster you needed. With that you pushed past her and made your way out to the hall. “Bye Loki” As you left, all you could hear was a loud “Shit” from behind the wooden door.

You quickly found your way back to Thor, he had returned to his original post high above the crowd. His hands frantically waving up to you, as you returned to the grand hall. After handling the royal prick, you couldn’t think of anything better than going back to the easy conversation you had with Thor.

“My lady” You felt your cheeks blush as he leant down and offered you his hand, helping you climb up the last few steps.

“Where have you been?”

“Your brother decided to follow me into the washroom” Confusion twisted its way into Thor’s brow, his eyes saying “Should I even ask you about this” as he nudged you in the side. “Nothing like that!” The words rushed out of your mouth quickly, at a speed almost hard to catch. But why would you ever want Thor to assume you had quickly run off to have a secret moment with his brother. As Thor nudged your side again, the halls doors opened again.

The golden horns glinting as they entered the room. “I have a theory” Thor mused aloud, tapping his finger slightly along his rough jaw. “Do you trust me?”

“Father did say tonight was about creating relations” You joked back light heartily. This was the man you would have to spend years working with to keep your kingdoms alive. You had no choice but to trust him.

“Perfect” His voice drenched in excitement, as his arms quickly made his next movement. Within seconds you found his arm resting lightly on your hip, as his hand gently pulled you closer to his body. “I am going to count to five” His breath was hot on your shoulder, as the numbers started to fall from his lips.

“What are you doing?” Before he could even answer, you felt another presence join you both.

“Brother” Thor cheered, pulling him into his arms as well. “Isn’t it nice for the three of us to be reunited again”

“You two seem to truly be relishing in it” Loki spat back, shoving his brother off of him with all of his might.

“You followed me into the washroom?” You questioned, now moving from under Thor’s arm.

“You can’t prove that”

“I can’t, but I do know that I would much rather be in the company of the Lady from the washroom. She seemed fun” You could see him cough slightly, as your words caught him off guard. With that you knew your work was done. “I think it is time I took my leave” With that you planted a light kiss on Thor’s cheek and offered Loki a halfhearted handshake. “Until next time” As you made your way to your father, you could hear Thor’s laughter at the low grumbles coming from his brother. You knew your work had been done for the evening.

[sourwolphs]

Like an Animal - Bucky x Reader (1/8)

Read on Ao3 (For better interface + formatting) 

Summary: Reader is an enhanced Omega kidnapped by Hydra and trapped in a cell with Alpha Bucky Barnes. Tags: A/B/O, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending Warnings: Rated M, Kidnapping, Degrading Language (not from Bucky)  A/N: This story takes place post-Endgame, but everyone is happy and living in the compound and nobody died :-) Because I said so. Also switches POV between Reader and Bucky, with Reader in first person and Bucky in third! Follows typical A/B/O dynamics, with some random headcanons thrown in and explained.

The first thing I felt was the searing pain in my wrists.

My eyes flickered open, slowly taking in my surroundings, my heartbeat picking up as each terrifying detail came into my line of sight. My back ached terribly, cold cement beneath my skin. I was slumped in the corner of some kind of cell. It was dimly lit—just light enough to reveal the shadows of the large space, and the light of a hallway stretching to my right through the bars of the cell. I looked down at my body to find it clad in the clothes I’d been wearing the night before. My shoes were missing, plain socks dirty on my feet.Worst of all— my wrists were bound in a thick metal band, glowing with a soft blue light that ached where it touched my skin.

My memories were blurry. The last thing I remembered was approaching the front door of my 3rd floor walkup late at night, seeing a shadow slip from the dark alley to my left, before everything went black.

The red-haired agent had warned me it was only a matter of time before those with bad intentions discovered me and the things I could do. If I could, I would have kicked myself for not listening to her when I’d been warned.

I lifted my hands to test my powers, summoning the energy I felt like an icy throb in my chest. But when I tried to channel it down through my hands, urging even a snowflake to appear, all I felt was a stinging pain. Whatever the device on my wrists was, it completely neutralized my abilities. If my heart had been beating fast before, now I was approaching unprecedented levels of panic. Deep breaths, deep breaths, I told myself. Panicking won’t get you out of here. But as I took my next inhale, my other senses kicked in.

The second thing I realized? I was not alone in this cell.

I could smell my own scent, layered with sickly sweet anxiety and the sharp, metallic scent of panic. But a foreign scent, distinctly Alpha drifted towards me from the shadows of the cell. I instinctually curled closer to the wall, my Omega hindbrain working overtime to protect me. Bare your throat. Make yourself small. You are defenseless. Not like I needed the reminder with the sharp pain still throbbing at my wrists.

I curled into a small ball, taking a quiet gulp of breath to assess the situation as I peered futilely through the shadows. I didn’t smell anger, or danger—just a heady, strong Alpha scent. Cedar, a hint of campfire and the crisp, clean scent of… snow. Not typical. But… good.

But the Alpha scent also had a hint of something else. Something strong. Something like rut. I tilted my head, confused— I heard a shifting, and the glint of metal moving in the far right corner of the cell. Two pinpricks of light—his eyes— lifted up and connected with mine.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose in fear. An Alpha nearing rut. Locked in a cell. With me. I took another few deep lungfuls of air, willing my heart rate to slow down and making myself smaller. Whoever locked me in here couldn’t have had good intentions. Should I… introduce myself?

I didn’t get the chance to decide. A door at the end of the hallway opened, and a pack of men filed in to stand outside the cell doors, peering in at me. I squared my jaw, biting down hard on the inside of my cheek to keep myself centered and tamp down on the inner voice telling me to submit.

“Not so powerful now, are you?” barked a weaselly looking Beta at the front of the group. He wore a tactical vest, buckled in an X shape in the front. His muscles, overcompensating an embarrassing amount for his designation, bulged on his compact frame.

I glared at him. “What do you want with me?”  I spit.

He laughed. “Careful with that nasty attitude, Omega.”

I suppressed the disgusted shiver that trembled down my spine at his use of my designation.

“Big Guy in there won’t like a defiant bitch,” he continued. The men at the back of his pack laughed darkly. “Better get ready to submit.”

The Alpha in the corner was still motionless— still staring. I felt dread settle in a pit in my stomach at what they implied. Show no weakness. I put on my most defiant face.

“Oh, him?” I tossed my head in the Alpha’s direction, feigning indifference. Don’t show fear. “You can’t scare me. Take these cuffs off me and let’s see who submits first.”

The Beta growled, the laughter momentarily draining from his face, hackles raised. “Shut up, whore.” Then, he seemed to remember I was in the cell and he was outside of it. He smirked, before turning around to head back down the hallway with his pack. “You’ll see.”

The door slammed shut behind him.

I let out the breath I’d been holding as quietly as I could, willing my anxiety to settle so I could think. But it was then that the Alpha decided to stand and stalk slowly towards me.

Rationally, I knew Alphas were big and scary. They always were— overly tall, overly aggressive, insufferably controlling and dominant, and so strong-scented it made me feel lightheaded and stuffy. But this Alpha, well, all of the above was an understatement. He was tall and broad-shouldered with a wide chest and legs thick with muscle. He was wearing tight-fit, black clothing that showed off the muscles of his body to an exorbitant degree, and it looked, well, tactical—buckles and straps and belts with holsters that had been disarmed by whoever threw him in here with me. His face was still mostly in shadow in the dim cell, but I could make out curtains of brown hair and a strong jawline speckled with stubble. And the closer he got to me, the stronger his unique scent grew, washing over me like a wave— along with the growing scent of his rut.

You’re staring. Be small, my Omega hindbrain reminded me. I cowered, feeling fear wash over me again. What if he was in on this with them….I didn’t let myself think that far. I turned my head to the side slightly, baring my throat in an appeasing way to the dominant force in the room.

Then the Alpha’s full form came into my line of sight, and I realized exactly who I had been trapped in a cage with. Oh, fuck.

—————

Bucky didn’t know what possessed him to step forward. Chivalry, perhaps? Though according to Steve, that whole concept had died in the 21st century. Omegas didn’t look to Alphas for protection the way they had in the 40s. Something urged him towards the defiant Omega in the corner, and he would be lying if it didn’t partially have to do with her intoxicating scent and the weird and uncharacteristic prickliness he was experiencing that he couldn’t shake off. Her scent was sweet like peppermint, laced with the crispness of a cold gust of winter wind, but her anxiety at waking up across from him had soured it slightly. He didn’t blame her—but he couldn’t resist another lungful.

Bucky stepped forward slowly, his movements measured so as not to scare her. She had pushed herself as far into the corner as possible, her throat bared and chest rising and falling quickly. But as his face—and his recognizable arm— came into view, he saw the change in her expression as realization dawned. She gasped, her scent turning dark and desperate with fear. He stopped short, swallowing. Fuck.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured. Then, improvising, he lowered to his knees in a position he hoped looked as non-threatening as possible, turning his face to the side to show her his throat in return. “I’m not going to hurt you. It’s… I’m—“ He stopped, shutting his eyes in resignation. This was not going well. She was still panicked, curling in on herself.

“I’m in control,” he said, hoping that would be enough to quell her fears. These days, the public knew all about the Winter Soldier and the horrible things his hands had done. But Shuri had erased the loophole from his brain over six years ago now, if you count the blip. Which is why it made no sense that Hydra had gone to such lengths to trap him here on a mission gone awry in Northern Europe.

Now wasn’t the time to dwell, though. He estimated he’d been trapped here for no more than about 15 hours, and he didn’t doubt that Steve, Sam and the rest of the team would track this base down within 24. He’d already examined his body for injuries, tested the bars for give and scoped out any other potential entry and exit points before Hydra agents had cracked the cell door with three assault rifles trained on him and dumped the Omega inside three hours ago. The only thing that felt off was this strange, growing feeling that he needed to get out of his skin. He’d already removed his outer layer of Kevlar, feeling hotter than normal.

The woman looked normal enough, besides the panic taking over her faculties and the unknown, bulky device clasped around her wrists. She was small, but deceptively strong—he could see the lean lines of muscle on her limbs. Her long hair was loose around her pretty face, and they’d removed her shoes— if she’d even been wearing any in the first place. But god, her smell. Bucky couldn’t help taking another deep lungful, trying to be as discreet as possible. It was like his body was on autopilot, drifting closer and closer to where she was pressed against the wall.

She looked confused by his placating bared throat. Nowadays, Alphas were insufferable hotheads. She’d probably never seen one so willing to submit to an Omega. Bucky noticed that the rise and fall of her chest was slowing. “A-are you really….?” she practically whispered.

He nodded, clenching his jaw. “The Winter Soldier?”

She nodded back—so small, it was almost imperceptible.

“You can call me Bucky. I’m not— The Winter Soldier doesn’t exist anymore.” He laughed a little. “They actually call me the White Wolf now…”

Something was wrong with his body. He was feeling itchy—painfully so now. He shifted forward even closer, on his knees, and she flinched imperceptibly— turning to face the wall next to her. He took another deep lungful of her scent, and the sweetness lit every cell in his body on fire. Was he… getting hard?

Realizing her distress and how close he’d gotten to her body, Bucky stood up and put distance between them. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on…” He gasped. Her scent was addicting. His Alpha was screaming at him to close the distance, grab her, shove his face into her scent gland and inhale. To run his hands all over her body, to rut into her, to sink his teeth into her gland and bite, to claim her as his own and mark her body all over…. Holy shit. He was going into rut. After 75 fucking years, he was going into rut while trapped in a Hydra cell with an unmated Omega.

Against his better instincts and training, Bucky started to panic.

————

I could tell exactly the moment that the Winter Soldier—Bucky, I corrected myself— realized what was happening. He’d been drifting closer and closer to me, his ice blue eyes trained on my gland, taking deep lungfuls of my scent as if I couldn’t tell exactly what he was doing.

When he recognized my distress, he forced distance between us, wiping sweat from his forehead and inspecting his hands—one flesh, one metal— as if they’d have an answer.

“Rut,” I said quietly. Our eyes connected. His were wide, panicked. His scent was sharp with fear and anxiety, so strong with lust it was making me dizzy. I pushed my forehead against the cold cement wall to center myself. Why would they kidnap me as Omega bait for a fucking Avenger? Why me?

“I’m on suppressants—I don’t know how…” He trailed off, then abruptly ripped the leather sleeve off his shirt in one swipe to inspect his upper arm. Holy shit, he was strong. I mean, I knew he was a super soldier, but Jesus Christ. “They stuck me with something.” His jaw was set in a tight line when he turned back to look at me, pupils blown wide with lust.

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut. This couldn’t be happening.

He growled sharply in frustration, slamming his metal fist into the concrete wall of the cell so hard that cracks appeared on impact. I yelped in fear, my heart racing. Before I could open my mouth to apologize submissively, he dropped down to his knees again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I—“ He cut off, growling in frustration, fists clenched at his sides. He shook out his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes, before he looked up to meet mine again. “Please, don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you,” he said through gritted teeth.

I nodded weakly, feeling the tears start to spill from my eyes. He was trembling now. Whatever they gave him was working quickly, and the strain of keeping himself contained was obvious in the restrained quiver of his limbs. Maybe I was fucking crazy, but I actually felt sorry for him. An ex-assassin Avenger twice my size, pumped full of super soldier serum and rut hormones. That couldn’t feel good— especially not with his history.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he repeated again. This time, it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself. His hands were clenched so hard I could hear his Vibranium fist squeak with the strain. “I won’t. I won’t—“ he gasped for a centering breath.

Against all rational instinct, I started to believe him. He wouldn’t hurt me. At least— he really didn’t want to.

I knew about the Winter Soldier. Everyone did. How Hydra had kidnapped him, tortured him, and turned him into a brainwashed weapon for their murderous intent. I couldn’t imagine how horrible this would be for him— with his very public history— to have control wrested from him again. Especially like this.

Comfort Alpha, my inner Omega cooed unhelpfully. Alpha is hurting. Help him.

Fighting back my fear, I came to my hands and knees on the cell floor, shuffling a few paces forward until we were only a few feet apart. He was still shaking slightly, murmuring to himself in what sounded like Russian, breathing shallowly. I risked another lungful of his scent, and it made my Omega go wild. I felt my own body start reacting to his arousal, my scent billowing out in soothing notes, slick between my legs. It was impossible for Omegas to launch into a sympathetic heat when they were distressed or in danger, but I couldn’t ignore how intoxicating his scent was to me— or the growing need I felt to soothe and calm him as his chest heaved with the strain of restraining himself.

“Get— Get away from me. I can’t—“ he spit through gritted teeth. I paused, hesitating, my bound hands reaching towards his knee. “I don’t want to hurt you—“

“It’s okay,” I murmured soothingly, hardly recognizing the calm sound of my voice when my heart was racing a million miles an hour inside my chest. I was too cowardly to be a hero before, when the red-haired agent had found me and urged me to join her. I had always run from responsibility and hidden my abilities from the world. Maybe today, I could be courageous.

I placed my hands on his forearm, feeling the sweat-slick heat of him. His head slowly raised to look at me. Up close, I could see his plush lips, the stubble along his jaw, his pupils blown wide with lust. His scent, God.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” I said. Bucky was panting now. “I— I trust you.” He narrowed his eyes at me disbelievingly, but my words and tempting closeness seemed to tamp down his initial panic. He leaned in closer, close enough that I could see the stubble of his jaw, his adorably delicate ears tucked behind the loose strands of hair framing his face, the plush cupid’s bow of his lips.

The pictures in the news don’t do Alpha justice, my Omega murmured.

“Isn’t someone coming for you? Aren’t you, like… a superhero?” I asked.

He grimaced, breaking eye contact. “I’m not a hero. But the team should be here within a few hours. We’ve never… lost someone for longer.”

I took a shaky breath. Okay. So we’re getting out of here.

“Do you know what they want?” I murmured. I could guess. Scum like Hydra only see Omegas as good for one thing: breeding. But I didn’t want to voice the horrible thoughts out loud.

He scoffed. “Whatever it is… I won’t do it.” The resolve set in his jaw, muscles ticking as we made eye contact again, the scent of his rage and restrained instincts washing over me— bitter as gunpowder and steel. He was still trembling, fists clenched. “I won’t.”

I felt something soften inside of me at his words. I should be terrified, rolling over on my stomach to submit— throat bared —but I felt… protected.

“Do you mind— Would it be okay if I—“ He cut himself off, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and looking pained.

“If…?”

“It helps if I can… scent you,” he sighed. “I won’t—“

Before he could finish that thought, I nodded my head in assent. There’s no greater pain to an Alpha in rut than being unable to touch. I shifted off my knees, intending to curl against his side, but he shocked me by standing and scooping me up into his arms, returning to the shadowy corner of the cell he’d been in when I’d first woken up. I bristled a little at his intentions, but he quickly set me down on a soft pile of leather and thick canvas that smelled strongly of his heady cedar scent— clothes he must have shed from the heat of rut.

“Sorry,“ He murmured. “I won’t touch you if you—“

“It’s okay,” I interrupted, taking a deep breath to steady myself and leaning back to get more comfortable. He hovered over me, propping his metal arm by my head. His ice blue eyes searched mine, our breaths loud in the quiet of the cell as we settled into the comfort of each others’ scents. I tilted my head to the side a bit, feeling my mating gland peek out from behind my hair.

Bucky growled softly, leaning down to press his face into my neck and taking deep lungfuls of my scent. I squeezed my eyes shut, bringing my bound hands awkwardly to touch his side to anchor myself. Under my palms, I could feel the tension leaving his muscles as he breathed me in.

“Omega,” he groaned, his voice raspy and deep. I shivered. Arousal stirred in me again, his chest pressed tight to mine as he nose trailed up and down my neck, into my hair and onto my cheek. “You smell so good. Fuck,” he whispered.

He was starting to lose himself. His flesh hand came to my waist, strong grip catching me off guard as he settled closer to me. My heart rate picked up again, and I fought the urge to bolt. Alpha won’t hurt you, my Omega supplied. Please your Alpha. Bucky must have picked up on my fear, because he pushed himself back.

“Sorry. I’ll—“ He shifted so he was laying next to me but with his lower half intentionally tilted away, arm across my waist and face near enough to my gland that he could continue to breathe me in. “Okay?” He grunted. I nodded, shocked that he was able to control himself enough to hold himself stiffly away from me. The scent of rut was so strong that from what I knew about Alphas, he should be animalistic with lust— unable to stop himself from shredding my clothes and taking me on the cell floor. Small mercies.

“Sleep,” he said gruffly. When I didn’t move or shut my eyes, he tightened his much gentler grip on my waist. “Please. I won’t… I won’t do anything. We’ll be out of here, before…” he trailed off, again. Boy, was he a man of few words. But he didn’t need to say it out loud for me to understand his meaning: Much longer, and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

I took another soothing breath, trying to settle myself. Alpha wants you to sleep, my Omega purred. Alpha will protect you. For once in my life, I listened. I took in a lungful of his strong smell, taking comfort in the protective weight of his arm thrown over me, and let myself drift off.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 3

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it’s own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You’re Peter’s classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don’t know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you’re lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Peter always unapologetically stealing all the uwus. It’s the MCU law, sorry, didn’t make it. Tony Stark can ✨rail me✨. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings​ @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves THE WORLD! I’m not kidding. Please visit her and show her some love, my homegirl is stressed 💖✨

I didn’t see Bruce nor Tony for a week. The doctor was away on some science conference (he sent me one dorky selfie next to a whiteboard full of barely intelligible equations as proof), Tony was in California, having some sort of a board meeting. How do I know? Peter, out of lack of better things to do, constantly texted me updates on his science patron’s whereabouts and what-abouts.

In times like these, it took me for a loop - I was on a first name basis with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. In the beginning, I was intimidated - I avoided them both like the plague and tinkered in the lab with headphones on whenever I could, until Tony made a comment so snarky I couldn’t resist joking back. That’s not to say Bruce was a social butterfly, but even he gave into my tomfoolery after seeing me stand calmly throughout several of Tony’s hissy fits.

What amazed me even more so was that despite Tony being literally an insufferable little brat, I still longed after him. Sure, the man was hot as hell - but his physical traits were much less significant when it came to my feelings towards him than the amount of sheer drive and willpower he possessed. He was stubborn - that’s another trait we shared - and unapologetically himself in every damn situation.

I could write poetry about the million expressions in his face, about the shine in his eyes.

But I won’t. He’s a technical guru. Ever since I started hanging around the tower, I became much more conscious about what I posted online. Not to say I had a Stark fan blog or anything, but I’d stopped scrolling through the tag, even if I didn’t actually click on any articles. I dutifully reblogged pictures of Tom Ellis instead - while he was a very fine, distinguished man, he wasn’t Tony Stark. I enjoyed looking at the first and enjoyed being around the other. And even though my feed still had the occasional “I love arm” shitpost, I focused on aesthetic pictures and quotes instead - things I had an active internet presence for.

My personal life wasn’t very interesting. I didn’t have any close friends and any and all sex I’ve had was just a bunch of one night stands, fueled by alcohol, selfish lust and the occasional joint. Despite having a fair share of kind, generous lovers, the morning after left me feeling a little bit emptier every time. I thought about getting a boyfriend or something… But quickly became totally clueless as to where I could find one. Men under twenty-five could barely hold my interest long enough to have a casual chat and I wasn’t naive enough to think there were a lot of honest, well-intentioned thirty-somethings that wanted to date my high school ass.

Peter had a crush on me, I knew that. The boy developed one or another kind of feelings for anybody who showed him the tiniest bit of kindness and it alarmed me. In any other case I would have bailed on him, gently, of course, to spare him the disappointment but my selfishness got in the way. I regretted it every day. A wave of desperation rose in me every time I thought about moving on without seeing Tony or Bruce, without Peter shyly smiling at me as he explained how the things he created worked. A faint hope that one day, his schoolboy puppy love will grow into a brotherly kind of regard was the only thing that kept me afloat in my sea of guilt.

As the Fall rolled around, so did my gloomy mood. It was hard to be sad when the sun was shining and the birds were chirping outside, but with clouds hanging over the city like a lead curtain, the bottled up negativity rose to the surface uninvited. Mother had returned from her business trip, adding an uncomfortable, hollow sort of chill to the house wherever she stood. I don’t know what was worse - the hours we spent in one room ignoring each other or the immaculately structured questions she asked me about my studies and extra-curriculars. Mother didn’t ask me about my friends, or my feelings or any of the other things a mother was supposed to give a damn about.

I was an asset to her company and that was that. If you would have asked her, she would tell you I’m old enough for her to mind her own business - which was technically true. Yet according to her, I’ve been old enough since seventh grade. My dad answered his messages sporadically, sometimes with a two-word answer and sometimes with a cocaine and booze fueled rant eleven texts long. I felt sorry for him. I really did.

My phone was blowing up. Party invitations, likes from people I saw once or twice (“oh my god, you’re, like, so hot, what’s your Insta”), DMs from guys looking to score an easy piece of ass. I never answered. If I wanted to party, I just sort of showed up and everybody went along with it. I took care of my appearance and it showed - never once was I turned away from a party. Everyone wanted to dance, to share their drinks, to light up and get faded together and fade into the city, into the cold air and grey sky.

Skirt swaying and top clinging to my chest, I danced. The sweaty, heated bodies around me did the same. Not one of us cared, it was a Tuesday night and the place packed way too many people. An arm snaked around my waist, startling me. I had to begrudgingly crack open an eye to see the bastard in the dimly lit room.

“I saw you at the bar, you looked bored. Maybe you need something to cheer you up?”

So not a creepy rapist. Just your friendly neighborhood drug dealer. At house parties like these, there was always The Guy. He never danced, he sipped on the same drink all night yet always looked like he was having the time of his life. I was no stranger to the occasional joint, or even something more stimulating…

“I got the good stuff, sweetums, you’ll be fine and dandy in no time.”

Eh, what the hell. I inconspicuously danced with the guy to the middle of the crowd, exchanging a few crumpled dollar notes for a baggie of two pills. In no time, I chased one down with a hastily poured Jack.

The world did become better, as the drug dealer promised. People were nicer, friendlier and I almost didn’t believe mother was a useless, stone cold bitch. I almost didn’t care that I was deeply, madly in love with a man as unreachable as Olympus. If I squinted, the guy sitting at the bar looked kind of like Tony, tan, dark hair, worn jeans and a band tee.

So I danced. I danced and I stared right at him and then we danced some more. I closed my eyes, letting his arms grab me and pull me, I let his beard scratch my neck where he sucked a mark on me, I let his rough palms choke me against a wall in one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the house. It felt good to be wanted. It felt great to be needed as he rutted inside of me, hitting that sweet spot with every twitch of his hips.

It felt lonely when he left, pressing a kiss to my forehead and saying something dumb like “Be good, kid.”. I don’t remember what exactly it was, only that I had to turn my face away from his breath that reeked like weed and vodka.

To shake off the void that made home inside of my chest, I went to the roof to get some fresh air. The house had a nice patio on it - I actually knew the owner - that hosted more plants than I’d care to count. There was an ashtray and an abandoned pack of cigarettes. I greeted the faintly blooming sunrise surrounded by a cloud of smoke, shivering in the autumn mist.

Sounds of the party became less prominent with every passing minute as people geared up to go home and get a few winks of sleep before going to work. New Yorkers weren’t really thoughtful partying on a Tuesday, but then again, neither was I. The city always was busy - even then, at the crack of dawn, the dull throb of a bassline was rudely interrupted by a blaring car alarm followed by dogs barking in aggravation.

The more I sat there, the bleaker everything became. I had enough common sense to know I was just coming off the drug but for once, I had been happy and content for several hours without a care in the world. It had been too long since I felt that way and what’s a little low after a good high?

Mother left for her early conference at five AM sharp, I entered my house at five-thirty, making a beeline in the shower and immediately dumping my alcohol and cigarette soaked clothes into the wash with the smelliest detergent I could find. I gave similar treatment to my body and my hair, using the chemically-smelling products on my body and on my hair, brushing my teeth multiple times.

By the time I was leaving for school, only a faint smell lingered in the air where I’d previously entered, so I set the air freshener to automatically spray the obnoxious mist every ten minutes. Mother gets home at twelve for lunch, that should be more than enough time for any remnants of my partying to disappear into the lilac and lavender fumes.

The Valium I’d popped to deal with the aftermath of Molly made my brain sluggish. One look in the mirror and I hastily put my sunglasses on - the ashen colour of my face and the slightly crazed look wasn’t very complimentary to my complexion. The teacher didn’t give a damn. I stared blankly ahead of me for most part of first period.

“What happened to you? You look like hell!” Peter’s exclamation, while usually would’ve alarmed me, barely made a dent in my stupor.

“I feel like shit, too,” Admit what you can’t deny. Deny what you can’t admit. “I didn’t get any sleep. Like, at all.”

Peter frowned, the crease between his eyebrows growing deeper with every passing second. I flinched when his hand tentatively touched my forehead - the pounding in my temples slowed to a dull throbbing but it was still unpleasant when someone was all up in my space.

“Jesus, you’re as cold as a corpse. Maybe you should go see the nurse,” His worry bled into me too. Like hell I was going to the school nurse! They were specifically trained to recognize the signs of substance abuse.

“I’ll head home straight after school, I think we’ll have to skip our sciencing,” No way also I’d be letting Tony and Bruce see me like this. Oh my God, I was a mess. “Mother’s home.” I added. Even the emotional frostbite I’d get from being around her was more tolerable than being a downer for Peter and Tony.

Peter’s face immediately softened in sympathy. He knew almost everything about my relationship with my family, including him actually seeing my mother that one time. He told me she gave him the creeps and I don’t blame him at all. The stoicism that was required for her work made my mother an unbearable person to exist around outside of her fancy office on the top floor of a glass high-rise building.

“Okay, but promise to text me if it gets worse. You might have caught the autumn bug that’s been going around,” He obviously said the last part to calm himself down. Sweet little Peter, naïve child. I solemnly nodded nonetheless.

When I got home, I went straight to bed. Tony was being Tony, as usual, but in a strangely kind way. I suppose it should’ve made me feel better and it kind of did, but then it went downhill from there. I couldn’t explain why I started crying. I bawled my eyes out at how unfair this god-damned world was and when the doorbell rang… Let’s say, the delivery boy hightailed it out of there once the bag of takeout was deposited into my arms. I looked and felt ghastly.

I ate as much as I could and dropped into a restless nap, drifting in and out of sleep with exhausted exasperation. There had not been a time where I felt so low after popping a pill and I was equal parts alarmed and satisfied. For one, the drug dealer didn’t lie like they usually do - the stuff was good and I still had the other pill hidden away in a bottle of painkillers, inconspicuously mixed with other white pills but shape distinctive enough for me to recognize should I have need in taking it again.

The thought of well, taking it again, was fleeting. I had school tomorrow and a missed science bender to make up for. A few buzzes of my phone later, I felt happier. Better. Not so down anymore. I meant every word that I said - Bruce was very precious, kind and gentle. And so, warm and soft. And totally kissable.

Well, fuck. What do I do now?

[theexecutionerssong]

SKAM FRANCE BTS MASTERPOST

This is a master post of BTS anecdotes told in interviews, at cons, screenings and on social media. Don’t click the read more if you don’t want to lose some of the magic. I know sometimes knowing too much of how a show was shot can ruin it. Also, it’s very obvious that there was more promo starting around season 3 than for the first two seasons, don’t hold it against me. Feel free to message me if you think of something else as I must have forgotten a ton of things.

CASTING, REHEARSALS, BTS IN GENERAL

Skam France had the rights for the 4 seasons first but had to follow the original script almost to a T for the first 2 and if the audience was big enough then they would be allowed to distance themselves from OG

Skam France casted actors that were as close personality wise to their characters as possible, which made it easier for the cast to identify with their characters and made the friendships developping between the characters more believable since it was also developping off screen

They were not allowed to cast underaged actors who would have been closer to the real age of the characters due to the long hours of the shooting conditions

Most of the actors come from theatre and many had no or little previous experience with shooting for a camera before

The cast isn’t allowed to watch the clips before they air.

Most of the clothes they wear in the show are their own.

During rehearsals of the first seasons, Philippine went to the board with everyone’s names on it and wrote something funny next to Zoe’s name and wanted to send it to her but she messed up and published it on her ig stories, leaking the entire cast when it was still supposed to be a secret.

Lula’s first reaction when she got the script and “met” Daphné was “oh no I’m scared. I just want to slap her, she’s insufferable”

Assa almost didn’t audition for two reasons: the casting call didn’t specify they were looking for a woman of color and French casting calls almost always say whether they are specifically looking for a black woman. If it says nothing then they are usually looking for a white person. She thought she had no chance because of that. Second reason, after accepting the casting call, she did some research and found out OG Sana was from the Maghreb and she’s not. But her agent convinced her to go through with it, the only thing the skam france team wouldn’t negotiate was that they wanted a Muslim actress. There was no way they would have casted a non muslim actress/actor for Imane and Sofiane.

Skam France was the first TV show on French TV to have a black muslim  woman wearing a hijab as a main character

Paul, Robin and Axel knew each other before shooting, they’d met in Avignon.

Coline was still in her last year of high school when she shot the first two seasons.

Niels is the one who came up with a raccoon as Eliott’s spirit animal

They shoot about 15 minutes of usable content per day which is impressive (it’s usually 2-3 for movies released in theatres, 5-7 for TV programs)

When France TV told David the first two seasons were a success and they were renewing the show, he gave them a list of things he wanted to change so that he’d agree to come back to direct the next seasons, including a different camera, renewing the writers team (they included Niels), storylines, the ig content, etc. The new camera they got was a SONY Venice which allows them to play a lot with the focus/blur ratio and the cold and warm undertones, which made a major shift in the visual quality of seasons 3 and 4 compared to the previous 2.

David named Eliott after his son.

Having the teaser from Eliott’s POV was David’s idea. It’s the first remake to have a clip from the French Even’s POV

The bus stop from season 3 is fake, it doesn’t exist. It wasn’t even shot in Paris itself but in Saint Ouen.

Maxence didn’t watch OG - besides the towels in the bathroom clip - because he wanted to create his own Eliott without being too influenced, and he didn’t watch s1 and 2 of skam france either because he wanted Eliott to discover the characters without knowing their backgrounds.

Maxence wasn’t supposed to audition. He wanted to be done with his acting school before shooting anything but the head of the casting team came to watch a public class at his school and asked him to audition for Eliott at the end. David and Niels knew right away he was the one. Niels watched the audition tapes and was very impressed with another actor but within the first 3 seconds of watching Maxence, he knew it wouldn’t be anyone else. Maxence met Axel after the 3rd call back and they clicked right away. He’d broken his foot two days earlier so he was in crutches. They watched Even’s manic episode and had to improvise a similar scene but had to do with the crutches. They also went for a drink before shooting and they talked for hours, their connection was instantaneous. 

When he learned Maxence was cast, Axel went on his instagram and saw the model pictures and thought he was way too hot with the abs and everything and he himself would look like a potato during the nude scenes next to him. So he got a coach and for 3 months he trained and got on a very strict diet. He was disappointed that there were no shots where you could actually see his abs properly in Skam. He had also said months before that he had gotten a coach because before they started shooting seasons 3 and 4, he had met up with Marilyn to get advice on how to carry a season and she had told him to get a coach otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the pace. So what is the truth?

It leaked that Maxence was casted in July 2018 because someone on a Korean website recognized his shoes in an IG story from when he’d been spotted at the airport months earlier but it was kept mostly under wraps. Then his and Lais’s names leaked too a couple of months later but most people hadn’t seen his face before the trailer.

David asked Axel and Maxence to give up their phones and social media during the couple of months they were shooting to be really focused and not get distracted by the outside world and they mostly did. Axel bought an mp3 to still have music, he wrote “LUCAS ♥” on it with a white out pen. He created a playlist for Lucas, including songs like Run Boy Run and I love you by Woodkid, and To Build a Home by the Cinematic Orchestra.

Maxence’s process to get ready for a shot: he does yoga and dances a lot in the morning. he puts music on and paces a room while picturing himself standing on the edge of a cliff and if at some point he feels like falling and loses his balance, it means he’s got it. He asks that all the scripts he gets be printed on the right side of the page and on the left he takes notes about what the character is feeling through 7 different states: love, hate, fear, power, vulnerability, sex and i hate myself for not remembering the last one. To play a scene properly, you have to conjure up 4 states to create one emotion. He loves that David respects his method and is able to adapt to every member of the cast’s method. He also uses his body as a tool, for example if his character has to feel lonely or unsure, he will curl up into a ball for an hour without moving and then he’ll be in the right mindset because his body is telling him he’s isolated. That’s the method he used for Eliott, he created “lost scenes” that weren’t in the script, moments in between scenes with Lucas, to get more into Eliott’s mindset.

Maxence wrote a letter to Eliott, drew a picture of him, and spent hours adding notes to the script about his personality before even trying to get into his mind. 

There was a contest for the drawings in season 3. Maxence participated but didn’t get picked. Jeanne Lelièvre did!

All the social media content for seasons 3 and 4 were shot on the same day in December 2018 which is why you can see heavy winter clothing even when the content was published in May. For season 3, most ideas were Axel’s, and Maxence said no to 90%. 

While shooting for seasons 3 and 4, Axel was also on stage every night for theatre

To prepare for his role in s3, Axel watched CMBYN, Moonlight, and The Office 

They received more feedbacks from international fans than French ones at first. It was even a private joke between Niels and David, there were no comments in French on Youtube. Then the piano clip happened and David’s phone went crazy with notifications. He was in the editing room with Jérémy and the buzzing from his phone was non stop. They banned phones in the editing room after that.

Skam France owes part of its popularity to how accessible the cast and crew are, either on social media or IRL, with 6 entirely free events organized to get the fans and the cast and crew to meet, watch episodes together and have Q&As during seasons 3 and 4.

Skam France shooting locations have become extremely popular for the fans to hang out at and leave little mementos, to the point that the mayor of Paris has asked the team to pick completely untraceable locations, or make sure they are not in Paris itself for the next seasons

Skam France was the first remake to get renewed for 2 (possibly 4?) original seasons

Alexia and Daphné were supposed to have their own seasons they but couldn’t get the green light from Norway. He got the idea for Arthur’s story quite quickly after but they had to rework the scripts for seasons 5 and 6 a lot. Robin talked to David about his addiction to video games and how it could be a potential theme but in the end David chose deafness instead.

SEASONS 1 AND 2

It was Coline’s idea to make Alexia bi. There was a scene when Alexia mentions an ex boyfriend and she asked David “why wouldn’t it be a girl?” and his only reaction was “Ok. What’s her name?” and that’s how bi!Alexia was born.

It was also Coline’s idea to give Alexia’s colorful hair. She later regretted it because she had to bleach her hair twice to get the blue to stay and it fried her hair.

Assa’s worst memory of shooting s1 and 2 is when the girls have to carry Daphné, she kept dropping her and was afraid of hurting her.

Marilyn and Lula ruined the scene when the girls are having breakfast all together when they are on the countryside because they couldn’t stop laughing over carrots and the crunchy noise it was making. It was the last day of shooting and their nerves were all over the place.

SEASON 3

The first scene in the common room didn’t hit them that much, they didn’t realize the impact it would have because the whole shooting was just David yelling at them to look at each other then stop then do it again then stop etc

Nobody realized how big of an impact the “Moi c’est Eliott” line would have and then when they watched the clip, it was obvious.

The check de gang wasn’t scripted, it was Paul’s idea to make it a running gag. David wasn’t sure about it but after doing it just once, he was sold. Basile tripping over the bench was also Paul’s idea but he didn’t warn anyone he was doing it so Xavier started laughing and the camera was shaking so bad that they couldn’t keep it and had to reshoot the scene. They noticed during the editing process that Robin also tripped at the same time in the background during one take so they had to keep that one. 

Lucas playing the piano was Axel’s idea even though he didn’t know how to play properly. He sent a text to David at the end of June with different ideas for songs and David picked the most difficult one. He then practiced anytime he could until they shot the scene in october. It took him two months to learn it completely and then a little more to make it look easy.  (Niels later said it was his idea and that Axel was a cheeky little shit). Maxence had never heard Axel play the song before that moment so Eliott’s reaction is genuine. He didn’t think he’d manage to get in the right state of mind because the apartment was too small for the whole team and they were all very cranky, it was 3 am, but the moment he heard the first notes, he forgot all about it and was completely amazed.

The infiltration party: David asked that Basile pushes Daphné a bit, like shoves her out of the way when they have to run, but they hadn’t had the time to rehearse anything. After a couple of takes, Paul pushed Lula a bit too hard and she fell on her knees quite hard. He felt so bad because he never wanted to hurt her and they all had to take a half an hour break because her knees hurt. David after that was like OKAY NO MORE STUNTS EVER.

Axel got mad at the makeup department because the two lines on his face were not on the same place when they shot the outside scene and then once inside. He got so angry he could have cried that they wouldn’t believe him. So during the shooting he looked straight at the camera and wiped them away with the back of his hand to force them to draw the lines properly.

The first kiss scene: they had been shooting for 12 hours. It was raining intermittently all day so the team had to pack up the cameras often and wait it out when it was too much. They ran 4 hours late. They had a fake rain machine but no change of clothes so they could only shoot once. Below the bridge is not easily accessible, it’s a long path from the gate, so they used ropes to get things up and down from the bridge. They only had one shot. They had already shot kissing scenes but David was always telling them it had to be more passionate and kept yelling at them to use more tongue so for that shot they gave it their everything on the first (and only) take they did. 5 minutes later they were shooting the Remember scene.

They shot all the scenes in the colloc on the first week of shooting. Minute by minute was shot right before Samedi 9h17. They had to restart shooting samedi 9h17 four times because something wasn’t working between Axel and Maxence, they were clumsy and stressed. After taking 5 minutes to themselves with David to remind themselves of how pivotal the scene was, Axel and Maxence said they were ready and they shot the opening scene that made the cut.

The Phase de latence clip : Axel and Maxence felt like terrible actors because they had already shot all the big very emotional scenes and this was a bit tamer since Eliott doesn’t show much emotions. They felt that way about all the scenes shot in the school.

The Fête de trop clip: They shot the fight with the guys 8 times but it wasn’t enough for David until Robin slapped Axel on the 9th. After that they shot Chloé yelling at Lucas. Axel was still out of it due to the slap he’d gotten earlier that he hadn’t expected. At 3am, they finished with Lucas injuring his hands. Axel cracked the metacarpus in his hand and only told David two days later.

Leo has talked about the coming out bench scene and said Yann took it a bit too far and was too dramatic, he was like “i don’t know if i can say that… but c’mon… I mean. C’mon… that’s your best friend… who cares if he didn’t tell you right away, he had bigger problems on his mind, right?”He would have done it differently.

The “viens on n’en parle pas” scene was shot in 50 minutes in the middle of the night on the second day of shooting. Marilyn and Axel’s emotions were briming under the surface so it was one of the easiest scene to shoot.

The hardest scene to shoot for David in s3 was the intervention clip. It was the second day of shooting, the 4th clip of the day. Axel’s first take was not good enough and David was scared it would set the tone for the season. He had a stern talk with Axel. Thankfully, they shot a second time and it was the right one, everyone on set was crying and Axel was completely drained.  

The scene where they go get the couch from the creepy place is the one they shot last for season 3.

The paint scene: they only had one try. Axel and Maxence hadn’t shot together for a week, David had done it on purpose and they’d missed each other. It was shot on a Friday at the exact time it was supposed to happen IRL. The whole thing lasts 14 minutes long. David took their pants off because they were slipping too much. Xavier almost stopped filming he was like “is he serious? did he just take their pants off??”. They shot a part when one of them slips on the ground and the other follows but that didn’t make the cut. There were 25 people on set, everyone in a suit to protect from the paint, but Axel and Maxence forgot everyone and just got lost in their characters. When David yelled cut, Axel and Maxence didn’t hear him and kept making out. David had to separate them. Then they all were so happy that they yelled their joy but then saw all the people who were behind the camera, and everyone was crying, like they had witnessed something too intimate. They showered for an hour, emptied 2 bottles of soap and even then it wasn’t enough, Axel still had paint running down his neck at a party that evening. The music used on set was Dreamer, the Khlar remix. Maxence was upset it wasn’t the one they ended up using in the clip, it felt like a betrayal because it “wasn’t the song they had made love to”.

Maxence fought with the costume department over the briefs he was wearing in the paint scene, because they had shot the PONI scene first and he could remember which ones he was wearing for the PONI scene and he wanted to wear the same ones. He was sure people would notice.

The first scene Maxence ever shot was the PONI scene. 

The boat scene was quite special. It was a big moment for Maxence, he was extremely nervous, so David reduced the team on set as much as he could. Maxence got upset at Axel for being too present during the scene. Being used to a theatre stage, Axel is always a bit over the top, eating his ham with a flourish, stuff like that, but this was supposed to be Eliott’s big scene. Maxence asked for a break and told David that if Axel didn’t tone it down, he’d kill him. That also got resolved quickly. 

The Remember Me scene: the priest is Lula’s dad. Lula and Niels both make a cameo in the church. They forgot to warn Axel that a car was coming when he’s running so his reaction is genuine. He was running so fast, the minivan with the camera couldn’t keep up so they shot it twice. They shot Lucas finding Eliott under the bridge just after shooting the first kiss. Maxence only had 4 minutes to get into the right state of mind which was extremely challenging and during that time he had to change his clothes, dry his hair and redo his makeup. Axel wasn’t feeling very well, he was exhausted after having shot 4 clips that day, but David told him he could do it so he ran on the path to the bridge harder than ever (David thought he was going to hurt his sinews) and when he fell to his knees, he was close to passing out, you can actually hear when he says the first “t’es pas tout seul” that he’s about to throw up / can’t breathe properly. They only shot that part once and after it was done David told them they should hug each other because what they had just done with Lucas and Eliott was precious and a moment to remember.  

There was supposed to be a scene after the Remember scene but it was cut. Eliott is sleeping, Lucas brings him food and starts reading his book and then Eliott wakes up. They say hi, Eliott is confused about the time it is, it’s already late afternoon. He says he needs to leave, but Lucas tells him no. He keeps saying he has to go, he has to go to his parents. Lucas tells him it’s fine, they’ve been warned of where he is. But he says he’s got to leave anyway. Lucas asks him why he keeps insisting he needs to leave and Eliott tells him he just doesn’t want Lucas to see him like this. Lucas tells him he doesn’t mind. Then he starts teasing him, saying Eliott just wants to leave because he doesn’t want to own up to the fact that he lied to him. Eliott is confused. Lucas reminds him that he’d said there was no way he would ever be able to sleep next to a guy that hot (on the boat) and yet here they are actually taking naps. So Eliott must have lied to Lucas about finding him hot. Eliott says he’s an idiot and Lucas tells him that at least he’s not a liar at that what matters is that he is his idiot. “Congrats, you’re now the owner of an idiot… more or less hot” Eliott tells him he’s won and asks what they should do now. Lucas answers that they should start by saying hi properly and they kiss, and when they pull back they just look at each other whispering “salut”. Axel said he was upset at David for cutting the scene because it was so soft and intimate, he called him when he watched the episode to ask why he cut it, but it would have been too repetitive with the following Lundi 17h21 clip.

Lundi 17h21 is the second clip Maxence shot. Lucas’s “T’es beau quand tu rigoles” wasn’t scripted, Axel changed the script, he was supposed to say something about liking seeing Eliott smile.

The Je t’aime scene: the first shot they did was the most emotional one, it was one of the hardest scenes emotionally for Axel. He was crying so so much, he had tears and snot everywhere, and Maxence was just wiping it away so tenderly that David thought about keeping that shot but the snot was REALLY disgusting so they didn’t keep it. They shot it a few more times, except that then Maxence had to leave. So the shot of Lucas saying Moi aussi is actually to David. Axel said it didn’t feel weird because he does love David so it felt true.

SEASON 4

Assa sat down with the team before they wrote anything for the season and told them her whole life story. It lasted 4 hours and she cried when reading the script because they had included so many things she had told them, it felt like her and Imane were one.

Making Assa dance was Philippine’s idea. David asked her what she thought about when thinking of Assa, something that was really her and Philippine said “Dada, you should see her dance”

Moussa and Assa knew each other before since they had filmed together 5 years prior, a movie in which they already were siblings. They feel like siblings in real life.

The worst clip to shoot was on Lais’s first day of shooting, it was the bus clip. The shooting conditions were terrible, there was too much noise, and the crew was tired from having shot the 3 bus stop clips from season 3 earlier that day. David was convinced there would be nothing to save and they would have to rent another bus but the team worked their magic in post prod and it turned out amazing.

They shot the scene with Imane, Lucas and Eliott in class the day after Halloween. Maxence was at a party the night before and lost track of time. He had to take a taxi straight from the party to the set at 6am and showed up in full zombie costume and makeup.

Charles come back: it had been cloudy and raining all day but the moment the camera was on the girls’ faces, a ray of sunlight appeared and the wind blew in their hair, making it a real dramatic moment. Too good to pass on, it’s the shot they kept.

The fight between Lucas and Eliott that we vaguely hear in the background was just gibberish. Axel and Maxence hadn’t prepared anything and Axel just ended up shouting at Maxence things like YOU LIED TO ME BEFORE ABOUT LUCILLE YOU MIGHT BE DOING IT AGAIN ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE and Maxence NO I WOULD NEVER - BUT YOU DID - NO I WOULDN’T - YES YOU DID - NO and they kept going in circles so David was like “guys…. please, you might want to start screaming about something else or this is gonna sound very repetitive” but in the end we can barely hear anything so it didn’t matter much

When Alex comes to pick up Emma to go to the cinema, Assa had a break down and couldn’t stop laughing, hiding under a blanket and making all the girls laugh too with her. David had to scold them a bit to get them to stop.

Lais also ruined a clip by laughing for 15 minutes straight, it’s the clip at Imane’s house when they talk about the fair. It was the longest 15 minutes of the crew’s life. 

The oui oui song during Daphné’s birthday party wasn’t planned, the team just lost control of the cast. Axel started it and everyone followed. The cast are actually terrible extras. They are too dramatic and noticeable in the background so party scenes like Daphné’s birthday were a nightmare to shoot. 

Assa and Laïs rehearsed the Unknown dance clip every chance they got between every take, everyone kept tripping on them in the corridors.

The last sequences they filmed were actually the last clips at Imane’s house for the Eïd. Axel isn’t in the last shot because he had to leave for his play. He actually ruined the very last clip of season 4 by shouting his goodbyes to David from across the corner.

SEASON 5

The auditions for season 5 and 6 were held in June. Lucas was spotted through his youtube channel and asked to audition. 

Coline learned sign language by herself after an initiation class with the whole team. She started signing in July and has been practicing ever since. Robin took a one week class in September and then kept practicing by himself and with the D/deaf people on set. David and the rest of the team also took an initiation class.

Robin doesn’t like water and was anxious about the scenes in the pool. David got in the water with Xavier, Robin and Winona to reassure him and direct them better. They limited the number of extras around the pool because of that.

The place where Eliott works is where David used to work when he was younger.

Coline wrote a song for the season

They couldn’t leave the mural in the high school so they took it off the wall (it wasn’t actually painted on the wall itself) and cut it into pieces. There are a few pieces framed on the walls of Lucas and Eliott’s flat.

[mina-scribbles]

NSFW!!! tsukishima x reader

A/N: BROSKIES!! been a while since i posted, so i hope you guys will like this one. i wrote this with the thought in mind of a tsukishima and the reader as an enemies on sight kind of trope, but then sprinkle in some feelings, then some pent up tension then boom. this piece right here is that explosion, but even after, they’re still kind of unsure of how they feel abt each other, especially the mc. 

word count: 1.3k (bc i got carried away)

pov: third person

(i apologize if there are any errors. i wrote this at like,,,2 am lol)

ENJOY MY DUDES!! <3 <3 <3 

~~~

Her body was on fire. Every nerve like a livewire under her skin where his touch grazed her. Their bodies were pressed flush together, her breasts crushed against the hard wall of his chest. An arm wound around her waist, pressing her harder, and she gasped as she felt his hard length on her lower abdomen. His free hand curled around her nape, his fingers tangling in the hair at the base and gripped, ripping a delighted moan out of her. He tilted her head to the side and he brought his mouth down on her exposed neck, groaning as his tongue tasted skin.  

“Tsukki,” she breathed lustily, rolling her neck so he was now lapping at the base of her throat, her fingers clutching at his shirt to keep herself steady. “The team’s waiting for us.”

But she barely heard herself as she let him spin her around and pinned her against the wall, letting out a yelp as he hoisted her up. Immediately, her arms flung around his neck and her legs around his waist for stability.

“You really want to stop?” His voice had taken a velvety smoothness, sending a shudder through her core. But before she could answer, he captured her lips at the perfect angle, swiping a hot, wet tongue into her mouth, muffling her moan. Just as she pressed forward to return his fervor, he pulled away, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. “You really want to stop that?”

This was so unlike him. His glasses had long disappeared to God knows where, and the golden embers looking at her now held no hate, no malice, no irritation at the mere sight of her. Now, with his half-lidded gaze, his eyes like molten gold that didn’t at all conceal the fire behind them, it was like looking at a different Tsukishima. But at the same time, it was – with that smug, boyish smirk, the mirth lurking behind that lust, it was him.  

Warmth spread throughout from her stomach, like an engine purring her to life and guiding her forward. As she met his soft lips with hers, he knew her answer. 

No, she didn’t want to stop, she thought as she let her tongue explore every crevice of his mouth. She didn’t want to stop as she fumbled for the hem of his shirt and tore it off of him. She didn’t want to stop as she pulled him closer, telling him to press harder and they both groaned at the friction. Even when the strings of her bikini top had come lose, the flimsy triangular cloths just barely hanging onto the hard points of her nipples.  

Tsukishima’s eyes flashed at the sight, his wet lips half parted – wanting, hungry. Heat rose to her cheeks, to her ears, and she bit her lip, a reaction that Tsukishima loved and he nipped at it.  

There was a question in Tsukishima’s eyes as he held her gaze, and it took her only a second to nod her affirmation.  

Yes, even then, she didn’t want to stop, and he began to trail hot kisses along her jaw and down to her neck until he reached a tender spot and paused to lick at the area. A hand snaked up her waist to the curve on the side of her breast, sliding the flimsy covering away and began to caress her bare skin with his thumb.  

Tsukishima alternated between her neck and her lips, all the while teasing her breast with that devilish thumb, making sure to circle around the nub but never touching it.  

He tore his lips away from hers and reached for the tender spot in her neck once more, and without warning, began to suck just as he pinched her nipples. A delicious moan tore through her, and she feared that anyone passing outside their room would hear.  

“I always figured you would be this loud,” he murmured against her skin, the vibrations only making her whimper and writhe in response.  

She wanted more. This was strange, and different, and she had no idea what would happen after, but at that moment, she knew what she wanted. And all this touching and kissing wasn’t enough.  

She wanted him. All of him. She hoped to God this meant something, but details would come later.  

“Tsukki, I--”

She began to say when there was a knock on the door. Tsukishima instantly unpinned her from the wall, and the tension only eased when they saw the door securely locked.  

“Tsukishima-kun?” It was Hinata’s voice, to which the blonde growled at in response. But only she heard it. “Is (Name)-chan still with you?”

The pair met eyes, panic both rising in their chests.

“Because Shimizu-senpai is looking for her.”

After a tsk, Tsukishima replied, “Yeah, she just wanted to talk my ear off about something.” He had to answer since they all saw Tsukishima and her leave together.  

The redhead chuckled from behind the door, and Tsukishima grunted. She placed a placating hand on his chest.  

With a sigh, she piped in. “We’ll be out in a bit, Hinata-kun. Just had to give Tsukki an earful.”  

The blonde pinched the hand on her thigh and she swatted him.

“Alright,” was Hinata’s quick answer followed by his retreating footsteps.

Tsukki’s shoulders slumped and pressed his forehead against hers as she let out a sigh of relief. When the panic finally dissipated, only then did she become very aware of how naked she was. Tsukishima’s eyes were locked on her, and her blush deepened. He must’ve known that she would turn her head away because Tsukki gently grasped her chin, and tilted her head at the proper angle to let their lips meet. It was soft this time and a beautiful kind of warm that made her melt, especially when his lips still lingered a hairsbreadth away from hers when he pulled away. He met her eyes, a rare affection in them that made her stomach flutter.  

“We’ll talk later,” he said, pecking her forehead before turning around to put his shirt back on.  

She stood there for a moment, stunned, but quickly recollected herself and tied her bikini top back on.  

Last time she heard, they hated each other’s guts. They could barely stand being five feet apart without being on each other’s throats the next second.  

But all that just happened. Well, yeah, sure, after some time, he’d kind of become bearable, but still.

It was real right? He kissed her, and she kissed him and all that touching and---

“Hey, you ready to go?” He was already at the door, and she followed suit.

“I always figured you would be this loud,” he had said. She looked up at him as he walked ahead of her. Did that mean he’d been thinking of her in that way long before tonight even happened? So, did that mean, that he actually---

She shook the thought away. No, she told herself. She wouldn’t think that way. Yet. Or maybe ever. Maybe all that meant nothing. But then she remembered where his lips had been, how warm they were on her skin. Her heart twinged at the thought.

No, she repeated more firmly. She glared daggers at his back, but even that was half-hearted as the little pang in her chest lingered.  

Yes, she finally conceded, straightening up and falling into step beside him. She felt her eyes on him but she kept her attention forward. A talk was in order, she thought. Till then, she wouldn’t let herself dare to even put a single connotation to what the hell that was back there.  

This was Tsukishima Kei after all, the same insufferable, uncaring and completely emotionless twat who lived and breathe to annoy the fuck out of her and not give a damn.  

She continued forward, ignoring the memory of his gaze after he kissed her moments ago, and failing miserably.

[star-wars-multishippers]

Get to Know Me(me) - The Members of SW Multishippers!

This was an event hosted on the Discord server to do a sort of re-introduction of both old and new joiners to the server. Everyone who wanted to participate filled out the survey below to share a little about themselves and about their faves in fandom.

Survey (for anyone who wants to join in below in the comments):

Who Am I? - Name, username on other sites, mini bio if you'd like Where do I fit into the SW fandom? - Prequels, Sequels, EU, etc. What do you do? Fic, art, lurking and reblogging? My Top Faves - 2 or 3 max please! My Own Stuff - 1 or 2 max please!

MBlair

Who am I?

MBlair both on Discord and on AO3, maggzblair on Tumblr (MBlair, maggzblair)

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

Mostly lurker/reblogger/occasional writer, mostly Original Trilogy and Sequel trilogy.

Fics I Love to Rec

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns (and associated fics) by chancecraz

Hand of Fate by sweetestcondition

My Fics I Love to Rec

Reyuxmas 2019

A Wonderful Winter on Hoth

I’ll Love You ‘Til the Suns Burn Out

feckyeslife

Who Am I?

Feckyeslife#2003 on Discord, firelord65 on AO3

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I'm pretty solidly a Sequels fan, but I have a special place in my heart for the Prequels. I'm a fic writer who dabbles mostly in canon universe AUs, what ifs, that sort of stuff. Primarily my fics have Rey with a tendency to focus on the First Order characters and plots.

My Top Faves

A classic Reylo fic from an old friend - Beneath the Facade. It technically has a prologue fic before it in the series, but this piece was the one that I really enjoyed way back in the EARLY days of Reylo.

Because I'm an insufferable Reylux fan, I have to rec at least one. This piece by @every-day-is-star-wars-day  a oneshot that ever so masterfully crushes my heart every time - Thread

My one Original Trilogy rec, this is a beast of a long fic but so, so good - Dark Times

My Own Stuff

Reylux, medieval AU - La Vita Primus - is the first in a small series of this AU

Reylo, TROS Fix-It - Oh but it's a dark future, my star. Oh but it's a soft morning for us soon.

apple-au

Who Am I?

Call me apple. she/her/hers. I’m gold_pen_leaps on dreamwidth, ao3, and pillowfort. @gold_pen_leaps@tenforward.social on mastodon. I am doing my best to boycott tumblr, but I've been known to use a tumblr link embed on pf from time to time. (gold_pen_leaps (DW), gold_pen_leaps (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I’m mainly into the Sequels and the Mandalorian. I joined the server for Hux/Kylo/Rey and all the combinations of the characters in my ot3. I can edit better than I can write. Sometimes I comment on fics.

My Top Faves

A Dance of Titans by @lucidlucy is a really long reylux fic. The delicious slowburn makes all the flavors combine in an amazing way. Love how they battle the main villain!

My Own Stuff

I helped give feedback on the second part of a series. Does that count? This is knight_of_dance's fic. It's really cool to see writers' takes on Modern AU, and this one has influenced my ideas of what sort of kinks those characters have. :smirk: Switch Up

Mizz

Who Am I?

 hi! tho im much more...a lurker around here im mizz (she/they/he). im badarmada on tumblr, badwrong-gimme on pillowfort, gimmemrss on twitter, badwrongprincess on ao3 (i have so many usernames XD, ive got a dreamwidth, wordpress, and art insta too if youre interested lol)

(@badarmada, gimmemrss (twitter), badwrongprincess (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

i liked the prequels as a kid (still do kinda), rouge one, i do like clone wars tho i havent finished it and the sequels (well tfa and tros tho only one of them is good imo) i reblog stuff mostly and read fanfic, tho i write some stuff too. finn is my fav and pretty much my center character (ie the one i focus on the most) and i like most finn ships (favs being finnhux, finnlo, finnrey)

My Top Faves

the things we do for love by glare is an unfinished finnlohux fanfic that i love a lot

worlds are built for two by synergenic (Losseflame). this is a poefinn fic from finns pov

My Own Stuff

um...im still working on this fic -(Be More Chill, Hux) very slowly this year has been super hard on me writing wise and ive been drawing ocs and for another fandom mostly but I will finish this one day!

Arsanimo - Marion

Who Am I?

Hi, I’m Arsanimo, self taught artist and nerd from Germany that’s mostly lurking. You can find me with this username on tumblr, twitter and instagram. I draw mostly Reylo at the moment. ( @arsanimo, Arsanimo (Twitter), Arsanimo (IG))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I‘m in my thirties and an OT fan since birth, because my dad was obsessed with Star Wars and we watched it a lot as kids - they are the go to christmas movies in our family. Even as a very small kid I loved Vader. I didn’t like the ST quite as much when it came out in cinemas but still watched them multiple times. I’m much more fond of them now. But my love for Star Wars really got renewed with the ST. I really liked TFA and TLJ a lot. Not a great fan of TROS though, but to each their own. I recently started watching TCW, if you haven’t go watch it! The Mandalorian is also great and feels more like the OT for me, which I love. Oh, and R1 was awesome, I loved that one! Solo also was good. I think I will be a lifelong fan because it’s such a rich universe and everybody can pick a favorite. I’m also good at ignoring the parts I don’t like, lol. But I‘m mostly exhausted about all the drama on social media, so at the moment I take a bit of a break from social media and only post from time to time. And I’m of the firm believe to ship and let ship and if the art and fics are good, you can also find me enjoying ships outside of Reylo (honestly, some Kylux art out there, woah... and Finnrey is always so tender but Stormpilot has two hot guys in it... and don’t get me started about Finnrose! You probably get the gist)

My Top Faves

It’s hard to name so few, there are so many good artists out there. But Winter of Her (Twitter) has some outstanding art in her own style. Than I really like the style of Khallion (Twitter), check her out.

My Own Stuff

And last but not least two pieces of mine that turned out pretty good

https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1275789997426311173?s=21

https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1258757927910989825?s=21

Knight_Of_Cookies

Who am I?

Allo allo, I go by many names but many know me as cookies here. Lol I'm from the US and I've been a lifelong A+, gold star , nerd my whole life. I love writing among 5 million other hobbies. I am on Tumblr and A03. (@knight-of-cookies, Knight_of_Cookies (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

It all started with the prequels which I fell in love with and even wrote my first fan fic on. (I dragged it from fanfic.net to A03 for my own form of personal torture) I dropped out of star wars until I was in Japan and a close group of friends got me to watch Roque One and play a star wars based table top role playing game, which dumped me back into this fandom hardcore. I fell in love with the sequel trilogy and now I'm stuck forever. Lol

I have been writing on A03 for around 2 years now for star wars and it's been the most productive and progressive work I've ever done thanks to ya'll.

Also, hey, I created this multishippers discord, because multishipping rocks and everyone should do it. :P I know I've never active enough but I love this space and the people in it! My fav part about multishipping is how I'm always discovering yet another ship that is awesome. It never ends. ^^

My top favs - (of things no one should be surprised by)

Beastie by @feckyeswriting. It spawned a written series(multiple actually)

Glutton by Witchoil. Just very good dark and wonderful kinky smut. Always go back to this one.

In the house that skywalker built by @aicosu. This story got me into Reylux in a way I'll never recover from.

My own stuff

Nothing but Themselves - This is my favorite beast of a story I've ever written and it will be beautiful when I finish it. One day. Lol

Tanzaku - One of my most polished pieces thanks to the Reylo Anthology. My best combo of: insert culture nerding here and captive Ben as personal tropes.

[headcanonseverywhere]

Encounter With A Human

Plot: Anastacia has been grounded for centuries, locked away in her room high up in the Caligo manor, when one day she sees Guilherme lost in the estate, as well as her relatives hunting him down. Scared for his life, she decides to risk getting into trouble again in order to save him. (Regency AU - Anastacia’s POV)

The Encounter Series

Encounter With The Vampires

Encounter With A Human [you are here]

Encounter With The Vampires (part 2)

Encounter With The Witches

Living With A Vampire

For five long centuries Anastacia stayed in her room, high up in the manor, overlooking the estate, the forest, and a bit of the main road.

She wasn’t always stuck in her room. Back then, she used to hunt with her brothers and sisters, dine with her family, and participate in important events held by some of the most prestigious families in all of the vampire community.

Even though she wasn’t very good at hunting, and stood out from the rest of her family with her fascination over humans and their culture, she was still respected (as one should, being a part of the Caligo family).

But if there was one thing that her family would not tolerate was any sort of interaction with humans other than feeding.

And Anastacia did just that, which is why she was punished.

She knew why vampires couldn’t approach humans, and why they couldn’t befriend them, but the more Anastacia observed them from afar, and the more she thought about it, the more she disagreed with these rules.

Humans always amazed her. She admired their art, their manners, and their strength and resilience towards the face of danger. To her, they were beautiful, charming, and fascinating creatures.

So she couldn’t help herself when she befriended a young human girl ages ago. They used to play by a pond near the estate in the evenings, and tell each other stories and sing human songs the girl would teach her. For a time, they were inseparable.

But then the young girl’s father found them together, and chased Anastacia away with a stake. If it wasn’t for Algernon--who was sent to look for her--she wouldn’t have been on this earth anymore. 

But the way he saved her was...tragic. At least, for the human family...

She never saw the young girl again, and after being punished--confined in her room until proven worthy again--she never saw any other human being as well.

So every day, she would sit by the window in her room, aimlessly looking around the estate. That was until she saw a young man--whom she has never seen before--come out of the woods. She squinted her eyes for a better look, and realized the young man was human.

A human! She thought.

Her eyes grew wide and she pressed her face onto the window, closely observing the young man’s every move. She wondered why was he doing there. Perhaps he was lost, or maybe just exploring the land?

But after much observation, Anastacia came to the conclusion that the human was, in fact, very lost. He looked tired and cold, and it pained her to see him in that state. She wished she could go down there and help the poor man, but she didn’t want to disappoint her family even more, and she knew that the man would feel nothing but fear towards her.

She slumped down onto the window sill, looking down at her hands resting on her nightgown, feeling utterly helpless, but her eyes quickly returned to the window when she heard loud noises coming from outside.

She saw Jocosa chasing down the human, as he clawed and dragged him by the leg, pinning him down onto the snow, prepared to feast upon the human’s neck. But at that moment, her sister Lorenza appeared and began to wrestle Jocosa over the human.

Anastacia watched everything unfold in horror, and when she thought things couldn’t get any worse for the poor man, she saw Algernon make his way towards him, and a horrible shiver ran down her spine.

Memories from the past flashed before her eyes, and she saw her old human friend once more, watching her father being slaughtered by Algernon alone. She didn’t want to relive that moment again, and she didn’t want this poor, innocent man go through the same pain her old friend did.

She had to do something, but she knew she couldn’t simply burst through her window and confront the other vampires all at once, she would be easily outnumbered by them. She needed to separate them, at least keep Algernon away from the rest.

She paced around her small room, thinking of every possible plan she could come up with, when suddenly it clicked.

She knew exactly what she had to do.

She rushed to a counter by her bed, and furiously rang an old rusty bell. No sound came from it, but as she expected, a low booming sound came from downstairs, growing closer and closer to her room.

She waited, nervously, until she heard the sound of a key unlocking her bedroom door. It slowly opened to reveal a giant ghoul standing at the entrance, its dead eyes looking at nothing, but patiently waiting for an order.

Anastacia fixed her posture, trying to look as demanding as possible. 

“There’s a rat under my bed, kill it now!” she lied.

The ghoul lumbered over her bed and crouched down, looking for said rodent, while Anastacia slowly crept away, without looking away from the ghoul, and headed towards the door.

But as she stepped at the edge of the doorway, the ghoul jolted upwards and unnaturally turned its head to face her. Although its eyes remained dead, there was a slight hint of anger in them.

“Forbidden.” it bellowed, and ran to take her away from the entrance.

Anastacia bolted from the door to an old staircase by her room, leading down a corridor to the great hall. She jogged down the stairs, but the ghoul was close behind her and soon enough it took a hold of her hair, and began to drag her up the stairs. She stumbled on her steps, sometimes falling and bruising her arms and legs, sometimes scrapping her skin against pointed nails sticking out of the wooden frames.

As they reached halfway up the stairs, Anastacia managed to grab the ghoul’s hand and bite it, taking a big chunk of dead flesh off of it. The ghoul, completely unfazed by it, slowly turned around and reached for her with its free hand, but Anastacia was quick and lunged at its face, wrapping her entire body around its head and torso, biting and scratching it, and ripping out more parts of its body.

As the ghoul stumbled backwards, struggling to break free from Anastacia’s clutches, it missed a step and tumbled down the stairs along with her, and crashed through an old window, landing outside in the snow, behind the manor.

The sound of the crashing window echoed throughout the forest, and for a second Anastacia held her breath, carefully listening to sudden footsteps coming her way, but as silence still remained present, she lifted herself off of the ghoul (who laid dazed on the ground) and ran towards the other direction into the woods.

She quickly maneuvered through many bushes and tree branches, before settling herself behind a rather large pine tree as soon as she spotted Algernon, Jocosa, and Lorenza with the young man, who was helplessly gasping for air in Algernon’s clutch.

She saw Algernon carefully observe the manor before he threw the young man onto the ground and left. She inched a little closer but froze when she stepped on a twig. Jocosa and Lorenza immediately looked around them, baring their fangs and claws at the air. The young man also heard the noise, but unlike Jocosa and Lorenza, he immediately found its source, and instantly locked eyes with Anastacia.

She held her breath once more, and stared intently at the young man. His eyes looked more dead than alive, but even so he did not look away. Anastacia inched even closer, and at that moment she saw his eyes close, loosing consciousness, and her heart began to pound.

Please don’t be dead! She pleaded in her mind, while it raced with possible ways of rescuing him from Jocosa and Lorenza.

And while she was thinking, she noticed several pebbles scattered on the ground. She looked at them and back to the vampires, it was a rather childish idea, but nonetheless it might work...

She grabbed a handful of pebbles, and tossed one at Lorenza, making sure it seemed as if it came from Jocosa. Lorenza felt the back of her head, and slowly turned towards Jocosa, already baring her fangs.

“Stop this nonsense this instant.” she growled.

“What are you babbling about?” he asked, looking very confused, as well as slightly annoyed.

“You know very well what I’m talking about!” cried Lorenza. “So stop it!”

Jocosa rolled his eyes at her and returned to his post, Lorenza did the same. A minute had barely passed when Anastacia struck her sister with a second pebble, again making it seem like it came from Jocosa.

This time, Lorenza lunged at him, tackling him to the ground and tightly gripping onto his neck. “You insufferable buffoon!!!”

“What are you...talking about?!!” Jocosa choked desperately trying to remove her hands from his neck.

As the two vampires once again fought with each other, Anastacia crept towards the fainted young man, and dragged him into the forest. Jocosa and Lorenza took no notice of the little vampire’s actions, as they were still busy trying to rip each other apart.

Anastacia propped the young man behind her back, and fled deeper into the woods, moving farther and farther away from the Caligo Manor.

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Various Feelings About ASIT Part 6: Doctors (and other lovers) Part 2 of 2

What I'm mainly trying to do in this part is reconcile what the book is – a love confession to Bashir – with what is in the text – the opening overtures to his romantic relationship with Parmak.

So I'm going to use a little bit of looking at Parmak as a probable reason why Bashir might've taken awhile to get to Cardassia after reading that novel:

Parmak and Bashir are comparable in the same way I feel Pythas and Palandine are comparable. The latter shared their names with him at Bamarren, helped train some of his later most recognisable (often unhealthily utilised) traits, are too caught up on the system themselves to be good for him and vice versa. The former challenge his ways of thinking, have witnessed parts of his worst self and offered forgiveness without a catch, are incredibly kind and giving, make him do better simply by existing as they do.

There are too many quotes and a half about Garak lamenting the change in his and Bashir's relationship. A couple of them seem to indicate Bashir's own awareness, at least of the fact that they don't communicate as easily as they used to, but one thing the book never gives us (for obvious reasons being this is Garak's pov) is Bashir's reasons for drawing away.

[Excerpt fromt the book: Bashir smiled and accepted the invitation. I led the way back into the shop, and while I coaxed two teas - one red lead and one Earl Grey - from my ancient replicator in the back, the doctor strolled about as if he were genuinely interested in the various sartorial displays. He was clearly ill at ease, and I wondered how the gulf between us had widened to such an extent. I was determined to narrow it.]

I can (and do) hypothesise and headcanon, but I'd like to know if any other novels give us more perspective – perhaps one of Una Mccormack's, but that's awhile down the road for me yet.  In any case, Bashir and Garak drift apart. I wonder whether it looks different from Bashir's pov – does he think it was Garak pulling away because of the Cardassian conflict – they have an argument about it earlier on, in which Bashir unwittingly is rude about their society and Garak lashes out at him – or did he just have some sense of perhaps tension between them post-wire, that he misread as a wish on Garak's part wishing for him not to be around as often. How much has to do with his own PTSD (unexplored on the show and, so far, in subsequent books)... here is where I go into my own territory and think that the person he had the most trouble hiding his emotions from was Garak and maybe it was subconsciously easier to stay away from him, lest he be honest towards someone who wasn't being honest back (or he had no idea how to process his crush, so ran away from it, which, mood).

[”I’m keeping you from your business,” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” “I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door. “No, you’re not,” he said quietly. “Excuse me?” “Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’ he explained with the same faint smile. “What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude. “It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who ‘lack character’ and insist on airing their needs - especially in public - are subject to ridivule... and worse. Does that sound familiar?” “Perhaps,” I replied softly. “But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door. I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familar.]

There's so much of interest to explore in terms of Garak feeling like Bashir abandoned him and then running to another doctor (maybe Bashir thought that Garak had left him in turn – must of stung to think of him with another doctor) – not that I'm calling Parmak a rebound.

[Extract from the book: - be given a new brain. I rather enjoy this peripatetic politicking. It’s something I would never have done on my own. In some respects his is so much like you, Doctor. If I’ve found someone’s opinion insufferably boring, he’ll kindly but sternly lecture me on the value of tolerance.]

They both represent pivotal parts of his healing process: Bashir on Deep Space Nine removes the wire, makes him feel less lonely, quite probably is the main component in his belief in inter-species co-operation, fundamentally changes the way he wishes to live (is the first person outside of the little Circle of Secrecy that knows Tain is his father?), Parmak on Cardassia helps him reconcile with his past, takes the beginnings of political concepts he'd discussed with Bashir and puts them into practise, also literally everything about the fucking Memorial Statues, not to mention that time when Garak fully breaks and he helps him recover, (and Garak tells him freely that Tain is his father).

(also both Bashir and Parmak are horrified by the thought that Tain is Garak's father, which, mood)

Where is the change then? How come Bashir didn't work out and Parmak does? The answer possibly lies in reciprocity – where Garak couldn't offer what Bashir needed in return, he could do that for Parmak. This isn't a judgement, I'd say the problem is that Bashir didn't know what he needed and Garak wasn't open enough to maybe fully be considered someone Bashir could go to (even if both Bashir and Garak might've wished he was), while Parmak is much more grounded in who he is as a person and by the time they meet, so is Garak, because he utilises those lessons he'd learnt from Bashir. Oh the irony.

[Excerpt from book. Parmak asks Garak for advice: “You know, Elim, I’m neither a soldier nor a politician. I’m a doctor.” “I do know that. I also know that we’ve been betrayed by our previous leaders. Our only hope is that men like yourself can offer an alternative.” “But you have the expertise that can... .“Doctor, I have an expertise that comes from survival and compromise. There’s already plenty of that on the other side... and it’s not an alternative that will create a new and lastinf union.” “No, I suppose you’re right,” he conceded.”  “You’re a doctor, yes, and that’s your strength. I’ve learned something about your profession over the past several years. Don’t think like a politician. Think of the planet as a patient barely hanging on to life. Think like a doctor. How would you save this planet?” He considered what I’d said in his careful manner.]

Maybe a good indicator is that Garak never actually directly told Bashir that his first-name was Elim.

And then A Stitch In Time happens and all of those things that no-doubt must've frustrated Bashir to no end that Garak wouldn't share with him are laid bare in their entirety in a way that sounds like he'd love nothing better than to finally pick up where they faltered, with no more lies and secrets... only problem is it sounds like Garak might've found someone else and now it's too late.

[Excerpt. The last lines of the book: It has become my personal totem. I hope that someday you’ll have the opportunity to see it. Nothing would please me more. You’re always welcome, Doctor.]

I would love to ask Andy if I ever meet him if he thinks Bashir would have come to visit after that letter, despite everything that was written subsequently. After all, the last words were an express wish to see him again. Even if just as his friend, I feel like Bashir would've wanted to take him up on that offer...