#the RP simply decided how the deal was made

[insomnianoctem]

When the hardcore RP DM asks if you can do a one on one session for something your character does secretly and you don’t realize that the RP starts with the session, not when the voice acting starts.

I was played liked a fiddle.

Well played.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

incredibly low stakes and online aita post; ☁ to find it later.

aita for blocking a person on discord without telling them why?

so, i like the occasional online rp, and was hankering for a new one, so i found a tumblr blog that posts people searching for rps to do. i interacted with a post that seemed interesting, and the blogger and i talked briefly in ims. they seemed okay, and they liked me, so we shared discords to continue talking and plotting our rp.

as the conversation progressed in discord, i started getting some bad vibes from this person. nothing too bad, just things i kind of disliked. for instance, they shared some political opinions that we did not see eye-to-eye on, details of how they lost their virginity, and would get upset if i "took too long to respond". mind you, this is the first time we met. there were some smaller things as well, vague preferences or how they worded things that irked me, but not as big of deals. basically, this stuff kind of piled up as the convo progressed, i decided i wouldnt have fun rping with them, and i ended up blocking them.

i did not communicate to them that any of the stuff they were doing bothered me. i did not encourage them to overshare information about their political preferences or sexual experiences, nor did i tell them afterwards that it made me uncomfortable - although i did try to change the topic of conversation. i simply stopped responding for while, they send in several messages trying to egg me to respond (to the tune of "are you there???" "??????" "hellooooo???" "dude, you cant just ghost me like this" "i see you online") over the course of around 20 mins., and then i hit the block button.

shortly after that happened, they started messaging me on tumblr again calling me "petty", "immature", and telling me to "eat shit and die". i then blocked them on tumblr. lmao.

so! i get i might have been the asshole because i didnt communicate with them well enough. however! i am a big fan of curating online spaces. i love blocking people. i also love it when other people block me, if they dislike me, because i dont want to interact with people i dislike, nor ones that dislike me. i have been in their shoes before (being blocked by some random person online who i had just met basically) and my reaction to it is "lmao". i genuinely dont care that much. i then get on with my life because i dont think it matters. i get feeling super bad if you were good friends with the person and knew them for a while, but we werent. we had just met. i dont think the level of betrayal was high enough to make me blocking them a huge emotional turmoil. i wouldnt have given this a second thought until they sent me the messages calling me a pos afterwards.

if it helps any, this all took place earlier tonight. i liked the post this morning, they reached out to me this afternoon, we talked in tumblr ims for about 10 mins., then discord for about 1 hour, i stopped responding for 30 mins. whilst they spammed me with requests to reply, i blocked them, then about 5 mins later they sent me the tumblr ims. i knew them for only a few hours. also we are both over 18, although im older by about 4 years and, frankly, i think their immaturity showed in our convo lol.

so, aita for blocking a person without telling them why beforehand? thanks for reading ✌

What are these acronyms?

[writing-whump]

Bleeding silver

This is a Christmas present for my lovely friend and RP partner @clickerflight. Great writer and artist, your work lights up my day.💙 Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Flashback fic, when Isaiah was 17, an executioner in his family pack. Insight into his secrets about his father, brothers and the deal with Reuben. Angst, captivity, torture, mentions of war, mentions of death, mentions of abuse.

Father’s office was big, dark with lots of massive wood a fireplace and two smaller rooms for waiting and parallel meetings, but very few wolves knew about its greatest advantage - that it had a stairway leading to another office downstairs.

The basement office had no windows. It was that far in the ground and the walls were of thick cement. No sounds came out of there. 

Isaiah made sure no one was at the meeting room, before he went down, closing the secret door behind him. 

Reuben was in the same position as Isaiah saw him in the morning. Hands in silver chains leading back to the wall behind him. He could  sit upright, but he could not move up from there. Silver cuffs on his feet served no other purpose than to cause more burning pain. He was bleeding where silver touched him, the skin rough and blistered. 

“I brought you food,” Isaiah said, putting the plate next to his limp feet before stepping away to lean against the cluttered table behind him.

Reuben tilted his head slowly, eyes glassy and feverish as they focused on him. His brown curls were greasy from sweat and matted with old blood and he was shivering without his shadow. He still managed a sarcastic: “How very kind of you.” 

It was a bowl of soup. Isaiah figured Reuben’s last bouts of sickness could be traced back to the ongoing strain from the silver burns and that maybe something easier on the stomach could help. He could not simply give him whatever they had at dinner so he made the plainest chichen broth he could. 

“It’s such a shame,��� Reuben rasped, leaning his head back, “you go through all that trouble to keep me alive, but I’ll have to say no.”

“I don’t care if you are alive,” Isaiah said on reflex. 

“Yes, you do. You know what will happen, when my dad finds out about this, right? Can you Wolfsons afford another war? I hear you are preparing for one right now.”

“You couldn’t have heard that,” Isaiah said, folding his hands on his chest. No way someone would reveal such sensitive information…

“Your daddy dearest sounded pretty sure,” Reuben said, a small smirk playing on his chapped lips at Isaiah’s discomfort. “He talks a lot like I won’t survive to tell the tale. I guess he’s right.”

Isaiah’s eyes narrowed, but he said nothing. His shadow rose angrily though, slashing down on the ground. He didn’t like to be left out of decisions of that magnitude. Neither did he agree with Reuben getting killed. The guy was 17, the same as Isaiah and the oldest son of the Jäger pack’s leader. It made no sense to kill him. Isaiah knew he could have easily been the one on the floor in his father’s office. 

“You should really decide already,” Reuben rasped. “You are in conflict, that’s clear as day. You bring me food, you come watch me when you father all but forgets, you worry about my survival although you shouldn’t. You want to release me, but you also want to do what daddy says. You don’t understand the logic behind his plan to torture me. If he killed me, it would be a quicker way to start a war. And your father obviously wants to start one.”

“That’s not true,” Isaiah said sharply. “Father only does what’s best for the pack.”

“So why did he kidnap me? Why this whole ordeal?” Reuben lifted himself up, hands automatically tugging before he winced at the movement and sagged back again.

“There is surely an explanation I’m still not worthy or smart enough to understand.”

“Ha! You still believe that? There is no way your father does things for the greater good of anyone but his bloodthirsty shadow. I told you. This is not how a leader acts.” Reuben coughed then, his whole torse shaking with the cough until it blew into a whole coughing fit, wracking his frame.

“I’m going to escape from here,” Reuben continued, voice breathy and ragged. “One way or another.” He looked at the bowl of soup in disgust, head lolling to the other side.

Isaiah snorted. “How? By starving yourself? That’s the big plan?”

“Why not? I can’t keep doing this forever.” He squeezed his eyes shut, sweat running down the side of his face although he was shivering. “I want out.”  

Isaiah was silent for a long time, shaken by the sheer despair in Reuben’s otherwise talkative arrogant voice. It’s been two weeks. He was running thin, constantly in pain from the silver, the beatings and rolled down shadow that came in irregular intervals not helping.

“It’s just because you are not used to the silver,” he said quietly. 

Reuben’s eyes closed in exhaustion. “No one is supposed to be used to silver. It freaking hurts. It’s poison to us.”

“See? That’s why father training me with silver is such a good move. Silver with shadow, without the shadow, seeing how quickly you recover. Look at this.” Isaiah crouched down and rolled down the right sleeve on his coat to show the ugly red welts on his arm. 

Reuben opened his eyes to slits to look, eyebrows furrowing together.

“Silver knife with a rolled down shadow. But my shadow is already back up. I have grown stronger since he did it to me last time. Every time I get used to the pain more. I know what to expect. And I can call my shadow to come back to me sooner instead of being paralyzed by the pain.”

“Why do you sound so bloody happy?!” Reuben said, face contorting into an angry grimace. “That’s not normal, Isaiah! That’s not something a father does to his son, or a wolf does to his pup. That’s not something a parent’s shadow is supposed to be capable of doing to its child!” 

Isaiah recoiled, covering the slashes with his good hand. “You don’t understand. He doesn’t like to do it. It’s a necessary sacrifice for him, but he does it for my sake.”

“For your sake!” Reuben exclaimed, lifting himself up in the chains again only to break into another coughing fit. Isaiah felt the unexplainable impulse to steady him, to touch him. 

“That’s such nonsense, Isaiah. This is not part of the training of a successor. Or an executioner. It’s just plain sadistic torture.”

Isaiah bowed his head, staring at the carpet. It was dusty, covered with patches of dried blood.  

“And you know it. Deep down you know it. Why else would you prevent your father from training your younger brother?” 

Isaiah flinched at that, looking back at Reuben. “One executioner is enough. This kind of training is for me. I’m the strongest in the pack. It’s a burden and a blessing. And mainly, it’s my duty.” For the greater good. For the good of the pack. They need someone like me, who can bear the pain, inflict the pain, understand it and protect them from it. 

“If you truly believed this was a strength, you would have trained your brother yourself. Instead, you made a deal. Your father told me. Gloated to me, really. That you think you can do everything on your own, so much your brother won’t be needed for the job at all. That you made a deal that you would not protest any mission if Hector were excluded from the training. And that Hector himself hates you for it. Stupid bastard, not knowing what he is missing.”

Isaiah’s eyes widened. He had no idea father told Reuben such intimate family affairs. 

“You won’t protect him forever. He complied to motivate you, but he is sure your qualms will disappear. The more you do it, the more your shadow tastes the blood, the more it will crave it. Until you become like him. And then he will train Hector too. Make him into another you. And you will enjoy it, just like your father enjoys it right now.” 

Isaiah stood up abruptly. His heart was beating fast in his chest, his shadow swelling beside him, reacting to his fear, to his pain. It wanted to claw into Reuben for saying that, it wanted to tear him to shreds, taste his blood, bite deep into him just like father would into Isaiah, to calm down, to feel in control…

Reuben smiled, blood in the corner of his lips, eyes glittering with fever and irony. “See? You are on your best way to get there. To the shadow madness.”

Isaiah stepped closer to Reuben, towering over him. He was so weak and pitiful. Isaiah could break his ribs with one kick, smash his teeth together to make him shut up, he could strangle him with his shadow…

Reuben said nothing else, staring invitingly in the way of a wolf making a challenge. Isaiah realized then Reuben was truly serious.

He wanted to die. And he wanted to provoke Isaiah into doing it. 

Isaiah walked away. 

After he closed and locked the basement office door, he all but ran up the stairs, into the office, through the side exit into the courtyard.

Isaiah braced his hands against his thighs, gulping in the taste of fresh, cold air. He needed to clear his head. He needed his shadow back under control. 

**

Isaiah sat in the smaller of the adjoined offices, doing paperwork, when Marek walked in. 

Although Isaiah was younger, Marek waited patiently until Isaiah acknowledged his presence. That’s how it was these days. Marek was a Wolkenstein, he had a powerful shadow and great skill. But no wolf could measure up to Isaiah’s shadow or his control or his skill with it. None of the older wolves, not even those leading their own fractions, their own little allied groups. Not even Isaiah’s uncle. No one but father could do it.

Isaiah lifted his gaze. His shadow was up, covering the ground around the table and climbing the walls. He liked to keep it in the open when he didn’t want to be disturbed. He felt safer with it.

Marek bowed his head, eyes glued to the ground, head tipping to the side to show his throat. It was more of a symbolic gesture, but an important one, showing his submission and acceptance of Isaiah’s power over him. 

Isaiah’s shadow wiggled in satisfaction, sizzling like water dripping on burning coals. 

“You may speak,” Isaiah said, voice carefully neutral and devoid of emotion. 

“The leader said you are in charge of picking wolves for the battle,” Marek said, lifting his gaze tentatively, though looking somewhere over Isaiah’s shoulder. “With the Specter pack. They send us their challenge already, right? You have the date?”

“The date and place have been decided,” Isaiah allowed. He didn’t like where this was going. He had been put in charge of picking the pack members for the battle and he decided not to pick anyone. He would go there alone or with father at most and handle it.

“Then…who is coming?”

Isaiah gave him a measured stare. It usually scared wolves enough not to ask questions and leave him alone. Especially with his shadow up like that. 

Marek gulped a little under the pressure, but continued: “You mean…no one? Do you seriously want to go alone?”

“That is my decision to make,” Isaiah said coldly. His shadow hissed like a snake, not liking the disagreement in Marek’s voice. 

“Of course, it’s your decision,” Marek said quickly, shoulders hunching. “But Isaiah, come on. Wars are about numbers. Specters are coming after us with at least 10 of their strongest members. We should do the same. We have manpower to choose from, wolves eager for battle and we are strong, Isaiah. If you said a word…”

Isaiah said nothing, just glaring.

Marek looked up before quickly bowing his gaze again. “Isaiah, please. If you don’t want to pick, I’ll ask. Only volunteers, what do you think?”

They both knew there would be plenty of those. Isaiah disliked it. This was a great opportunity to let go of some anger and accumulated aggression, but wolves would always be eager to fight. It wasn’t civilized and it brought nothing good to fight between packs. Isaiah wanted to do it alone, so no one else would bear the risk. 

“There is no point in having a pack, if you don’t let it fight for you when it counts,” Marek said, voice low and soothing. 

Isaiah didn’t answer, but he let his eyes go to the side, conceding the point.

Marek straightened up at that, voice relieved. “Thank you. Nothing bad will happen, Isaiah. Don’t worry.”

Isaiah narrowed his eyes. Suggesting he was worried was not acceptable, even if Marek had been his friend and had seen him train long before he became the executioner. 

Marek winced, backing away. “I’ll be going then.”

But executioners didn’t have friends. Marek understood that, yet still felt like he needed to look out for him. Isaiah didn’t manage to scare him away as well as he intended. 

Maybe it was the Wolkenstein ability to tell lies and truth. And Marek was well-tuned to Isaiah’s masks, somehow able to read between the neutral expressions, threatening looks and cold tones. 

Isaiah didn’t like it. It was as if Marek could see through his defenses, all the way to the little boy he used to be, when they first became friends with each other. 

Marek went to the door, only turning at the last second, eyes briefly meeting his. “It’s okay, Zaya.”

I know you are in there somewhere. You won’t fool me. I know this is a kindness from you. It’s okay. You don’t have to do it alone. 

Isaiah said nothing as Marek disappeared out the door, staring at the spot for a long time. 

***

Isaiah walked briskly through the halls, shadow slashing behind him. Wolves and humans and witches quickly cleared the way at his approach.

He walked as quickly as he could without outright running.

“It was a necessary loss,” his father said. Isaiah could still see his ruthlessly calm green eyes staring holes into his head. “People die in wars, it is to be expected. It was an acceptable sacrifice. We only lost two people, Isaiah. This is a victory to be celebrated.”

Isaiah fumed. He said nothing, only getting out the door, shadow lashing. He needed to get home, he needed to get out of the public eye. Away from celebrating wolves, from victory yells and champagne. 

The victory wasn’t worth Marek’s life. 

Isaiah was coming to think no victory could have been worthy of it. 

It was an unnecessary war. For territory, for not forgiving a slight offense. It was entirely father’s fault. And it was Isaiah’s, because he let Marek talk him into taking more wolves.

Isaiah let Marek come. To die.

Isaiah burst into the apartment he shared with his brothers, shadow trailing behind him, long and angry.

Hector and Arnie were both in the living room, eating. They had the meet and mashed potatoes Isaiah cooked in the morning. He always cooked for them, finding it the most and if not only enjoyable time of his day. Doing something with his hands that created instead of destroyed, something enjoyable that could be shared.

Hector stood up from the table. “Ah, there he is. Father didn’t even want me at the celebration, because I wasn’t part of the war in any way. You all happy about that, huh? Keeping him and all the good techniques to yourself, you selfish prick.”

Isaiah ignored him, getting out of his coat and removing his shoes. 

“You can’t keep me out of every interesting fight! I know this is your fault, that you keep me away from father on purpose - but I’ll get strong anyway. Stronger than you and then you’ll regret-”

Isaiah turned. There was blood on his suit, Marek’s blood, as he kneeled beside him as he bled out from a silver bullet. His shadow rose around him, spilling over the living room, swelling with anger.

Hector stopped abruptly, taking an involuntary step back. 

Arnie hunched into himself at the table. He was just 11 years old, used to his brothers, their shadows and their fighting. To the good kind of fighting, the playful one. When they weren’t trying to hurt each other.

Nowadays Hector tried to hurt Isaiah whenever he saw him. Lashing out in anger, not understanding what was wrong, why he was being left out. He was 15 years old, a very sensitive age for a shadow wolf. They needed guidance and direction, a clear example and goals to follow, so they could discipline their shadows into submission. Shadows that reacted to every hormonal emotion with a vengeance and aggression. 

This was a sensitive age. And Isaiah nor father could be there for him. Isaiah made sure of that. 

“Shut up,” Isaiah said, fighting the urge to just roll his little brother's shadow down and take the peace and quiet he craved. “Shut up for once. No one is interested in your whining.” 

Hector went pale, bowing his head in submission and fear.

Isaiah’s shadow wiggled in excitement at the gesture. Isaiah felt sick.

Arnie stood up then, a little hesitant before stepping closer to Isaiah. His green eyes were wide in his childish face, blond hair messy and shining under the kitchen lamp.

“Was it bad? Are you hurt?” Arnie said quietly, reaching for his arm. He knew he had to be careful with wolves, although he was never afraid of the two of them. At least that was ingrained into Isaiah and Hector both by their mother, when she was still alive. Isaiah never worried about Hector doing anything to Arnie and until now the trust turned justified.

Isaiah fought every instinct in his body not to recoil or shove him off, when Arnie gently touched his forearm. All his muscles clenched inside him. Arnie was all softness, round and vulnerable and kind, looking at him with those trusting big eyes…

Isaiah tolerated the touch for a few seconds, revulsion and disgust swirling inside him. His shadow steadied though, pulling back and down.

The oldest wolf stepped away from the human boy and then hurried into the bathroom at the end of the hall. Fortunately, they had two bathrooms and this one Isaiah liked to reserve for himself. 

He locked the door behind him, then opened the faucet to full blast and let the shower run. His hands were shaking so badly that he barely managed to unbutton his shirt and strip down from his bloody clothes. 

That was all he managed before the tears came.

The grief and pain flooded him like a tsunami, crashing the air out of his lungs. He slid down the door, curling into himself, hoping the running water would disguise the sounds.

He held onto his composure during the battle. He held onto it when Marek got shot, and when his mother bled out next to him, trying to save her oldest son. There were still two kids she left behind. Marek’s little brother and sister. 

Isaiah’s insides shook and twisted. He buried his face into his knees, wailing quietly, while his shadow clawed at the bathroom tiles. But he wasn’t worried it would do anything anymore. This was a way to let out a strong emotions, and he would rather let it out through tears than through someone’s blood. 

At least this time around.

***

Isaiah went down the stairs. It was deep into the night, the sounds of celebration still loud. 

He went down the steps with newfound determination. The conflict in him was gone, his shadow calm at his side as he opened the door. He didn’t switch the light on.

Reuben was sleeping fitfully in the chains, but was quick to wake at the sound of his approach. The bowl of soup was untouched. 

Isaiah had no time to be hesitant. He went down to one knee beside him, taking out the keys and unlocking his cuffs.

Reuben’s eyes widened, but he pulled his bleeding hands away, pressing them against his chest. “What's going on?”

“We’ll wait till your shadow comes back and heals you. I’ll replace the chain with a steel one, so the silver doesn’t burn you. And when the time is right, I’ll help you escape,” Isaiah said, voice hard and clipped.

Reuben’s face lightened up. “Isaiah, this is the right choice. You won’t regret-”

“In exchange,” Isaiah interrupted harshly, “you won’t tell your father what happened to you or that the Wolfsons had anything to do with it. Tell him you were on a trip or spent the time passed out drunk. I don’t care. But there will be no other war, you understand?”

Reuben frowned, lowering his voice. “That bad today?”

Isaiah stood up, leaning back against the table like he did before. Reuben slid away from his usual place by the wall, as if wanting to exercise some of his new freedom, though he was weak and didn’t get further than a step.

“I won’t let another war happen. No one else has to get hurt in this. You know what my father is. You know the only ones suffering are you and me. And you said it yourself, it’s not my fault. We don’t have to make it a pack business.” 

“Am I just supposed to forgive you? Just like that? What about my suffering, huh?” 

Isaiah rubbed at his face tiredly. “Can’t you just be happy you won’t end up dead?” 

“What about the consequences? What about the silver scars, what about the pain to my shadow, Isaiah? What am I supposed to do if there turns out to be damage I can’t manage on my own? It wants revenge and-” 

“If we go to war, I’ll go and kill your father.”

Reuben froze, mouth open.

“I don’t want another war. But if you won’t help me, there will be one and more Wolfson wolves are going to die. Jäger wolves are going to die. But I’ll make sure to kill your father, so your pack is hit the most, losing its leader. So no other pack ever tries to fight us again. You want to go that road?” 

Reuben snarled at him. If he went to his father and started the war, he would not be strong enough to fight in it. And he couldn’t defeat Isaiah the first time anyway, though they were very closely matched. 

“Fine. I won’t tell anyone what happened was your and the Wolfson pack leader’s doing. But I can’t let your shadow mad father run free, Isaiah, you have to under-”

“Give me a year,” Isaiah said. “Give me one year and I’ll deal with him myself. Just don’t tell anyone.”

Reuben would always have the knowledge that could destroy his pack. Once he was free, the bargaining advantage would be in his hands. 

Reuben raised an eyebrow at him, features hard. “Fine. In exchange?”

Isaiah sighed. “Anything you want.” 

@bellysoupset

[meatriarch]

gonna be a random thought to set down but just one thats been bubbling for a couple days so bear with me if you actually read thru this lmao but -

know theres always those posts that go around that say to not be afraid of setting boundaries or curating your space for yourself etc. and while those little reminders are always nice it is always an entirely different thing actually putting that into practice. and especially in cases where theres alot of entanglement with certain aspects of connections made ooc & ic in relation to yknow, rp and everything - makes things difficult to even consider unraveling just bc of how many layers and sometimes people or muses or plots that can be affected by setting & enforcing personal boundaries or looking out for yourself & your own best interests when it comes to how things may be affecting your mood or mental state.

august for me has very much been a sitting myself tf down and re-evaluating some things on a personal level and particularly with what im willing or not to tolerate or look past, and generally just focusing mainly on being at ease and not being so anxious with shit. and part of that is deciding to be actually more firm when it comes to what makes me uncomfortable or that tugs on a trigger etc rather than brushing it off. and for me at least the little stepping stones have been nice to see myself navigate towards in the last couple weeks and im proud of myself for that, considering ive habitually chosen for years to bite my tongue when things boundaries or thoughts/feelings are pushed or disregarded etc.

august ive been mainly focusing on just being a little more at ease & at peace for the most part and, it feels generally not so stifling or uncomfortable being in my little spaces again as it kind of has been for a while. easing back into things slowly so the burnout on a few fronts ive been dealing with dont get overwhelming but its just feeling nicer in my spaces again & rekindling that fun & love with things too.

sometimes things are simply necessary for your own well-being, even if it seems & feels mean or cruel or isolating to do. sometimes you do need to consider yourself first, and thats okay.

anyways.

good morning & have a good day everyone, im sending you all kind vibes & kisses to the sky <3

[lightheaded-dullahan]

Third Time’s the Charm: AN IMPORTANT UPDATE

For those just tuning in; this is an update to the situation detailed in hasarjunadoneanythingwrong (Who I will be shortening to Juna for this post)’s original post, and my own initial update post. This post includes additional evidence, and a direct confession.  This is being made into a new post for the sake of easy readability.

Below the cut will be the post at length; as this will be very long. As a reminder: DO NOT HARASS THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY

After our second update: we received more testimony from those previously in a discord server with gloriousrebirth (DK, henceforth) and previous targets of harassment.

Now during this time; I was in conversation with DK as they wanted to know why we were labeling her with such allegations.

While I do have screenshots of this conversation; DK asked that I simply paraphrase the conversation. I agree; mainly because a lot of it is running around.

With the information from our testimonies; I questioned DK on them to receive her side of things.

What I got was a great deal of contradiction and accidentally admissions.

Dullahan: So when we are speaking on your side blogs, Mike the Fairy deletes their blogs after posting a confession to being a troll.

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: A confession that only you have claimed to see; and that was up for only a few hours at most before the blogs were deleted.

DK: …Yes.

This included when asking them about the previous incident when they claimed Suckitbinch couldn’t be the one behind the mike blogs;

Dullahan: So Suckitbinch admitted to being a troll privately to everyone they harassed, yes?

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: And how do you know they aren’t back?

DK: Because they told me they wouldn’t in DMs.

Dullahan: They didn’t tell any of the other people they had harassed for months at that point?

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: So they told you…who had only be harassed by them once.

DK: …Yes.

I’m sure those reading can understand why this was not very convincing.

Through the next hour or so; we continued this back and forth until;

Dullahan: Why are you continuing to run around this.

DK: Because if I admit it; I will lose any RP partners that I have here.

DK: I admit it; I was the one behind both of these.

Dullahan: Why did you do this?

DK: Because I was angry and frustrated at the lack of seriousness at topics being used for memes and jokes.

Dullahan: So you harassed people using those same things?

DK: Yes.

DK has said to me that they do understand the harm they’ve done. That they understand how they decided to go about it was awful.

They also understand that even by confessing this; it doesn’t grant them instant or any forgiveness.

I will once again emphasize; DO NOT HARASS DK OVER THIS

As for moving forward; I do not know if DK will deactivate her account at any point in the future. I want to personally believe they will keep their word and not do something like this again.

But this is the second strike. You may choose to block and move on; or not. The Mike Blogs are in fact deleted as mentioned earlier. They can no longer be accessed. The date on the blog’s deactivation string, which we were able to access through an ask that was posted by Juna, was on 2023, 06, 03. This was the day I was speaking to DK about her blogs and the initial discussion over if she was guilty or not.

If this occurs a third time; then by those who gave the testimonies; it will be expected. If it does not happen again; then it will be all the better.

But for now; this is the result of the investigation into the harassment anons.

In the past; gloriousrebirth sent multitudes of inappropriate anonymous asks to people in a discord server with herself, and was found out.

In the past year and a half to 2 years; as this new wave in 2021, these started up once again to far more blogs.

Within the last few days (as of 2023-06-05), Juna and I managed to uncover the person behind them all and gain a confession.

For now, that’s where this ends.

[cityofdreamsrp]

Good morning, Dreamers.

It is with a heavy heart that we are coming to you this morning with the announcement that we are deciding to end our time here at the City of Dreams. Please note that this isn't a decision that we are coming to lightly, and we want to stress that it isn't due to ill will, or extensive hate, or anything that might potentially force us to end things. Rather, there are several contributing factors that ultimately lead to our decision. Over the past few months, it has become near impossible to find a way to successfully RP on this website. We have had to deal with a change in editors, a change in post style, and a change in website format that has made it incredibly difficult to find a happy medium to roleplay on this platform. As long time rpers ourselves, it has become frustrating to log on and attempt to figure out 'what's wrong now' and how we can figure out the best way to temporarily undo it until Tumblr can screw it up again.

Additionally, we ultimately feel as if this group has run its course. We would rather see it come to a natural end, and end it on a way that feels good to us, instead of feeling like we have no other choice. Over the past year and a half, this group has become a home and family for many of us, members and admins alike. Even more so for those who started writing together in the previous iteration of this group, the Glamorous List. We again want to stress that this is a decision we do not make lightly, and that we are truly sorry that it has come to this. In an ideal world, we would write with everyone for years and years to come. However, we know that simply isn't realistic. All good things must come to an end. We love each and every single one of you. From the bottom of our hearts, from previous admins and current admins, thank you for being a part of the City of Dreams, and we hope to see you out there on the other side. <3

-The City of Dreams Admins Beth, Luna, and Sam

[creativeroleplay-ads]

Free RP Idea

Please feel free to use this in whatever way you want. It's an idea I came up with a long time ago and haven't been able to use. Feel free to message me and share what ideas or concepts you came up with from using this I would love to see it!!

General Overview: ​​This all started at the beginning with 6 basic things: Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, Light and Dark. They were seen as Gods, called upon in times of need and giving back to the creatures they created. Sadly as time went on they were betrayed by their own creation and banished by a group who deemed them too powerful. Years later they are reincarnated, and are brought together in modern times to choose vengeance or peace. Will they learn to live amongst the beings they created or decide to destroy and rebuild a world where they can never be tested again. 

Characters:

FIRE Birthday: Summer Personality: Hot-headed, Stubborn, Protective Powers: Pyrokinesis, Atmokinesis,  Thremokinesis,  Melting, Fire Breath ICE Birthday: Winter Personality: Bold, Cold, Harsh Powers: Cryokinesis/Frigokinesis, Atmokinesis, Manipulation, Ice Generation, Freezing Earth Birthday: Spring Personality: Loving, Carefree, Unpredictable Powers: Geokinesis, Atmokinesis, Terrakinesis, Golem Creation - 2 at a time, Ferrokinesis

WATER Birthday: Spring Personality: Compassionate, Intelligent, Calm Powers: Hydrokinesis, Atmokinesis, Dehydration, Water Generation, Healing Air Birthday: Fall Personality: Easy Going, Compassionate, Adventurous Powers: Aerokinesis/Flying/Levitation, Atmokinesis, Wind Generation, Deoxygenation, Lung Adaptation Light Birthday: Spring Equinox Personality: Kind, Judgmental & Naive Powers: Photokinesis/Invisibility/Projective Invisibility, Light Generation, Photoportation, Forcefeild Generation

DarkBirthday: Spring Equinox Personality: Abrasive, Manipulative, Honest Powers: Umbrakinesis, Night Vision, Darkness Mimicry, Light Absorption

Ideas:

A false Idol tricked the first humans and made them doubt the original Gods and gave them the tools to bind/destroy them for the time being.

Outcome: The false Idol takes over in the Gods place and the once immortal humans start to die and all bad things come from this

A human from the secret society found out that the God’s were not just a belief, but actually true beings and wanted to become like them. He found a way to not only destroy the old Gods but take up their place 

Before the first humans, The God’s created other deities and tasked them with dealing with minor things while the six focused on keeping the universe in line. These deities banned together and overthrew the Gods so that they could take their spot.

General Info/Planning:

Modern day British Columbia (Canada)

Aged 20

“Universe” draw to one another

Starting off as strangers but once powers are found they’re drawn together

Light and dark separated at birth

Drawn together by a mysterious invitations that simply has an address and code on the back 

When the Invitations get to the Gods they react to their specific elements and that is how the society learns who they are.

Invitations are being sent out by a secret society who are devoted to them and have spent centuries trying to bring them back to life 

The Gods are only able to be reincarnated every 99 years (999 being the number for rebirth)

Secret society devoted to the Gods is generational and their stories have been passed down in order to prepare the next generation to be of assistance in returning their memories of their past lives.

Social event: New Years eve/Day

[ducknotinarow]

Do you still right for rise tmnt?

// Okay look I dunno if these are different people asking this. Or if the same even or whatever else but imma be transparent here. This isn't the first time I have gotten an ask on the matter. I am feeling a tad bombarded with it however. I have made sure to reread over what I typed below a few times and even sent it to some friends of mine who don't rp because I wanted to make sure my tone wasn't rude, hurtful or anything else. So I hope you do understand I took a great deal of effort here to address this in the hopes of a clam understanding. I'm sorry to pick your ask for this but as stated it's not the first one I have gotten. And I feel I should address this because well it is starting to really get to me. Now then I appreciate people asking may be asking because they like my take or they were invested in plot lines. though I didn't really have any for Rise it was mostly very slice of lifey stuff. I understand it's newer so people who come across my account may just like to see that. Which is fine. But please understand this is an RP account for one. Meaning this is purely all for fun a side hobby of mine. This isn't like fanfiction or such at the end of the day its really only for me and my friends I respond to. This content isn't really for fan creation it's really just me added on to stories I am in a way creating along with my friends/ writing partners. It is collaborative. And mostly me and my friends being silly little guys making our muses cry at times.

I just haven't felt the motivation for the Rise iteration nor do I have the muse at this time. And constantly receiving asks on it doesn't help. It comes off like others coming across my account are expecting something and when they don't get it they feel the need to ask for it. Again this is how it feels. Not at all what is happening.

I am just not currently focused on Rise it is not my most liked iteration personally. I am just a bit more of a fan for other iterations some not even touched on this account. So that dose factor into what verse I am more inclined to focus on and write in the verse off. I already try to be diverse enough for my writing partners on what I answer as is so it doesn't get to samey here. And I like touching on different themes anyway. So, I don't fully take to having my ask box often getting hit with people asking all about one iteration alone. This may be for fun but it is still a creative outlet. I still am putting time and effort into this account. I am still putting quite alot into my writing here. So it's a tad hurtful to feel like people only care for something I am not myself motivated to write for where the ones I am I have put quite a lot into. It makes me questions my effort and my work. and if i should even bother.

And that shouldn't be the case as is, I always state this is for fun. It should always be for fun. This isn't a job after all. It's something fun I can do in my free time. A nice escape even. So I really do not need anything to make me feel as I have been feeling. I do like rise and I do like the few muses I kept for it. But right now I have decided to put them on hiatus in case I feel like writing for them again. And in hopes to not get these questions anymore. If you are only here for rise then I suggest checking out some other amazing lovely writers. There are so many on here that i'm sure you will love to read from. And maybe move on from my account since for the time being it is not something that will be seen here.

Thank you for reading my writing and taking interest in my spins on these characters. I appreciate you taking your time out just to check out my writing. Truly, if you stick around I hope you find other things to enjoy that I come up with along my friends. If you don't I hope you find the content you are seeking but this account was never for content or views simply personal fun. ~ Ray ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ

[take-ya-to-the-ghey-bar]

“Darling” anon here. I didn’t really get what happened but I’m gay and I use pretty “camp dialect” if it would be easier to call it that.. there’s been a severely bad misunderstanding about intent, and rest assured it wasn’t meant to be anything other than how I talk and I didn’t realise it would be a problem but I won’t use that term around you if it’s uncomfortable, though, but the main thing was that I was hoping you were alright and to cheer you up but I feel a bit weird submitting anything in future and feel very awkward to talk incase any of my other queer ways of talking bugs you! Take care anyway!

I’ll not submit anything else in case my speech is seen as weird, I feel incredibly awkward about what was insinuated.. aha, I guess many people get funny about how we as gay men may talk more Eloquently and Camp, or don’t consider it, forget it’s a thing.. I don’t know really, but saying terms such as darling which would be frowned upon by macho gay guys or even women who hated people being gay or people aren’t used to it I guess, so it’s not much new to experience that response even though it’s stressful to deal with, but I didn’t really expect it considering the nature of RPing gay men I thought it was safe to speak camp I guess that’s not the case… ngl it stressed me out n I got made because this page RPs a gay guy and it just irked me for a bit before I thought you were just assuming it wasn’t to do with this and saw another meaning so why would you consider it.

A lot of people use darling in other ways, words have many meanings, people speak differently.

I’d rather say Darling than “mate”, or something, if that doesn’t make sense what I’m getting at. I even call people I don’t like darling so, it’s not anything with directed intent lol. Hope it makes sense anyway.

Hi again anon~, and aaaa let’s see… I’m sorry my reply to your last ask felt like a misunderstanding… as I honestly hadn’t meant for it to come off that way— and I did sincerely appreciate the effort in making sure I was alright/trying to cheer me up— But to try and be a little more clear on what went down with that ask, there wasn’t really any problem at all with the usage of “darling”, I promise— considering that I myself had zero issue with endearments being used casually like that (hell, I use dear somewhat regularly myself—) and I’m also aware that more “camp” people use darling in a few different ways— with that said, though… I’d also like to apologize for upsetting you with how I responded to that ask, and I understand if you may not wanna send in anything in the future thanks to that…

In addition to that, though— I’d like to state that while I do indeed rp as a muse who’s a gay man, it should also be taken into account that Minato isn’t overly “warm” to strangers, which are what I regard any random anons as— so while part of the tone to his response was thanks to that— his internal remark about the usage of “darling” also wasn’t meant to be an overly serious thing— more of just a slightly confused question—

And lastly, I’d like to add the disclaimer that even given the muse I play— I as a mun, am simply a young lady who doesn’t have as much knowledge about gay/queer culture as someone more actively involved in it— which you may frown at me for, but— I’m just here to write and have fun, so I’ve mainly just concerned myself with aspects of it present in my muse’s source material—

With all that said, I’m once again sorry for how this or my previous ask to you might’ve come off, and if you feel I didn’t fully address all that you presented in this ask… But I hope you’re well anon, and that if you do decide to send anything in the future, then you’ll hopefully be more fond of my responses to those—

[xivanxiety]

My Second FC (Approx July 2020-Nov 2020)

This is the story of the second FC I joined. If the reader has been following my blog entries chronologically, this occurred during Tyler's hiatus period and a bit after his return.

After my first FC, I was definitely dealing with some mild form of trauma regarding FCs. I was deathly afraid of the idea of joining an FC. I didn't even join my friend group's FC for fear of it ruining the friendships I'd formed, like as if joining an FC would suddenly turn everyone against me, or someone would suddenly decide they didn't like me and make it their purpose in the game to push me away.

One day I was idling in Limsa Lominsa. For Balmung... Limsa is quite tame. It's not where the RPers hang out. However, I received a DM from some guy, I don't even remember what he said, but I musn't have found it terribly offensive because we got to talking and he expressed an interest in RPing sometime. It went well, our characters both had a knack for adventure and exploration. His FC also had a very interesting premise, which was quite fitting for my character. He encouraged me to join. I explained my reservations, however, it only made him try harder. He said he'd pay for my FC room, and I was welcome to leave at any time. If anything, I could simply use the FC as somewhere to go and idle. So, I took him up on his offer. He warned me that his FC was kind of dead due to a content lull, but he was planning on getting things rolling again and continue their group RPs.

Everything was going smoothly. Everyone else in the FC was chill, I liked the theme of the FC, how well the house was decorated, where it was located, and eventually, Joe asked me, should my RP partnership come to an end, could his character have a go at it. Everything was otherwise going okay, so I said sure. However, it wouldn't be long before it became quite apparent that Joe had taken a liking to me. We hung out in voice chat a lot and while I was single at this point, he quickly made it clear that anything more would just be a terrible idea.

One day he was showing off his anime figure collection to me, which consisted mostly of women, aka waifus. I had no strong opinion on it. I wasn't impressed, nor was I icked over it. It wasn't a huge collection, modest in size, so I wasn't exactly weirded out by it. I think I said something like "Oh nice" which sounds on brand with the way I speak. I was completely thrown off guard though when Joe asked "What? Are you jealous of my figures or something lol?" I reassured him I was not. He then asked me why I was suddenly giving him just one word responses. I pointed out that I wasn't, what I said was not a single word, and I only responded to him once, a single two-word response does not confirm a change in tone. He began pestering me about the figures supposedly bothering me, which I continued arguing back that I didn't give a shit about his figures. He then pointed out that my tone was definitely off. I confirm, yeah, now that he kept prodding me about supposedly being jealous of his anime waifus. He then started going off on me about how I need to just be honest right from the get go, especially when it's someone who cares about me. But the thing is, I wasn't bothered by the figures! I was bothered by his persistence and the notion of me being jealous over plastic anime girls owned by a guy that was honestly rapidly beginning to put me off. This quickly became a recurring interaction between us. I don't remember all of the incidents, but this guy was definitely a gaslighter. I even once told him that he was beginning to remind me of my ex (as one of the reasons why we wouldn't work), to which he told me I needed to stop comparing him to my exes (I only did it once), that I need to keep the past in the past or else I was going to self sabotage myself. I told him that our past experiences are what help us learn. I know what I do and don't want and I know what to look out for. He tried claiming that no one does that. That is not a normal way of thinking.

This guy was clearly insecure with himself. He had some sort of beef with the fact that most modded anatomy in the game was well endowed and would go on tangents about how unrealistic they were and how they set unrealistic expectations. This stuff got his blood boiling. Please, tell me you have a small dick without telling me you have a small dick. This guy had a legit complex over this. No one asked for these tangents, yet I had to witness a handful in the short period I knew this guy.

It wasn't long before he went on hiatus. He had some oh woe is me living situation where he had a messy roommate who honestly was nowhere near as bad as a lot of people I've seen. But apparently, it was so taxing on his mental state that he couldn't bear to play the game, and thus, he declared a hiatus. He also went silent on Discord.

A month or so go by and I notice that he's logged in and idling in front of the FC house. I run up to greet him and as soon as I close in on him, he logs out. I then DM'd him, with the intentions of being lighthearted, and say "Hope I didn't spook you!" He then responds with "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't guilt trip me for logging out. I just wanted to log into the game for once and hang out with my friends. I don't need you making me feel like shit for that! I don't need this right now!"

Dear lord. This was about the time that I decided I definitely needed to find a new FC. I couldn't deal with this guy. I liked all of the other members, but this guy was constantly projecting onto me and trying to manipulate me with every interaction. I'd only known him about 3 months at this point.

More time goes on, and the FC is a ghost town. Only 3 people tops signed in a day. This goes on for months. Eventually, I hit a point where I need change. I was wanting to end my current RP partnership, I wanted to leave the club community behind, and I needed to make more friends. I decided to DM Joe and ask what his plans were for the future of the FC. He responds with something like "No, I have no plans to come back to the game soon. No, I don't have any plans for the FC, and no, I don't care if you want to go find yourself a new FC. And lastly, no, I'm no longer interested in our characters being a thing." Thank god.

So, I added to my carrd that I was low-key on the lookout for an FC, but only if the FC was really convincing. At this point, I'd rather go without an FC or just float in this one while Joe was on hiatus than to risk joining another problematic FC. In this FC's defense, it was all Joe, not the members. I believe another month goes by and out of nowhere Joe sends me a DM "With your increasingly passive-aggressive behavior, it's become clear that your time with this FC has come to an end. I want you out of my FC by the end of the day, I really don't need this right now." Always with the I don't need this right now. I asked him where the fuck this was coming from because I hadn't spoken to him in weeks, so how and where the fuck was I being passive aggressive?! He said I was humiliating him by advertising that I was looking for a new FC in my Carrd. Boy, if you are on hiatus, why the hell are you looking at my Carrd? Especially after I came to you to talk about it, and you said you didn't care. Also, from the very beginning, I was told I could leave at any point. I noticed in our Discord chat, he had deleted portions of our previous conversation, most notably the bit where he said he didn't care if I went and looked for a new FC. Probably to make me look bad as he showed people our chat logs or so I couldn't use it against him.

And boy, I gave that guy one Hell of a verbal smackdown. He'd done nothing but gaslight me time and time again, always blaming everyone but himself for his problems, only to constantly throw out the line "I don't need this right now." Which I mockingly closed my tangent with. I wish I had a copy of what was said to him, but it certainly got his panties all in a bunch. I blocked him immediately after my last message. He then logged into an alt account and started DMing me there. I didn't bother reading anything he said, I just blocked him again. He started getting other FC members to DM me as well. I ignored those DMs.

But I made my exit. I cleaned up my FC room and left. I sent a few DMs to some of the members, asking if, despite how things ended up between me and Joe, if they still wanted to be friends. Most didn't respond, and those who did were suspicious of me, thinking I was trying to turn everyone against him.

It's been a few years now and from what I know, he's purged the FC twice. All of the people who were in the FC at that time are now in their own FC. He has also changed his character's name and appearance. I think this information speaks for itself.

[askwalmartniko]

"info, rules, etc." — ooc 1

hello, and thank you so much for stopping by this blog. at first, i was inspired by the retailwatch overwatch rp blogs from years back, so i decided to make a semi-serious one with niko.

as much as this does follow a rather silly baseline with its plot, there are deeper themes that include major spoilers for the game's endings, with inspo with the freeware and remake vers. though, both interactions (in serious or lighthearted nature) are both welcomed.

i'll explain more under the cut, but my main acc is @burdening-light !

entry masterlist

updated concept art

characters you can ask thus far are niko, niko's mom (hazel), and niko's dad (ed)!

what is this blog about?

it details with niko's life as a 16-year-old. they work at walmart to support their family in the city while juggling their highschool courses and hobbies. i do not plan on drawing a whole lot, as i prefer to express more of my thoughts through writing.

what au is this?

this is set after the ending where niko breaks the lightbulb to return home. when they were 13, they moved to the city due to their father needing to stay there for better job proposals. they have repressed the memories of being "the messiah", but once as they start to age and understand more about the situation that they were in, it has affected them too much already.

what is the theme of this blog?

i say "semi-serious" because this is a silly idea, but taken seriously. i will shitpost here and there, but i am comfortable with elaborating on deeper themes such as trauma, coping mechanisms, and simply talking more about growing up while dealing with it all. i'm somewhat projecting onto niko here, but i want this to be someplace safe to discuss these topics.

however, i will do my best to tag these posts accordingly and provide proper trigger warnings if need be.

concept art i have of them so far is here. they go by they/them, as they are most comfortable with that set, and go to a public high school in a city. throughout their life, they seemed to repress their memories and never really seemed to stop and think about what happened back when they were just 8; as they were just so happy to see their family again.

now, with more time, it seemed to have made them think. fortunately enough for them, they are able to distract themselves, as they are part of an art club at the school and work at walmart as a stocker. they decided to make a social media account to really give them something else to do, in the meanwhile.

they are a big fan of drawing, and especially playing games; and can be rather competitive at times. they're into internet culture as well, but haven't interacted as much until now.

niko adores their mom very much, but hates how they seem to not have that much time to hang out. they make food for their neighbours in their apartment complex, but it just doesn't feel the same sometimes. niko's dad is out and about, but they're still on good times; it's just hard to communicate between the two.

other than that, they're leading a rather mediocre life. they are still optimistic and try to be real and grounded with it, since they were raised by their mom; no less. but, it still comes naturally for them to act with integrity, but it feels as if they are trying to prove something to themselves.

rules about asks/interactions

really, i'm fine with anything. as long as it is sfw, i'll do my best to respond. however, i am busy with things irl too, but i'll get to it as soon as possible.

if you want to address the owner, call me fruity or valérie, please!

tags:

#on the clock — 💡 = in-character (niko)

#— 🌾 (niko's mom/hazel) #— ⌨️ (niko's dad/ed)

#on break — 🥞 = ooc

#— ❕ = potential tw

#— 🧇 = silly/lighthearted post

[enigmaincrimson-personal]

While I won't say this on the main blog, but I think people are blocking me in relation to what might be described as... something of crossfire of third-hand fallout from another mess from a time ago.

Long story short, I made this post, it was misunderstood, and I deleted the post. I mean, it's not like people were really caring much about my RP blog as well... everyone was still mad at me because before that, people were throwing a giant fit because I upset a popular roleplayer over a post I wrote on the layout of a dormitory in a video game... and using "canon faceclaims"... then there was a bunch of pissed off godmodders, a group of impersonators... followed by someone also getting me kicked off a bunch of servers because my blog somehow crashed their phone and I wouldn't trim my posts how they wanted... among a whole lot of other things.

In any case, the person noticed that I deleted said misunderstood post, threw another fit, and then started claiming that I was gaslighting everyone... then the impersonators swooped in, escalated the mess and well... a bunch of people aren't talking to me anymore.

Not that they did before as they already decided I was completely worthless, a waste of space, and a general stain on Tumblr in general...

So yeah... I am considered public enemy number one in more than a few groups for a wide variety of reasons... like not letting someone godmod and R**e my muses... Not selling my muses to a porn blog, and other such things...

Maybe I am the bad guy, I don't know, it's not like most of them even tried to offer a fair trial, they simply cut me off and started writing call out posts and "Warning" people every chance they got.

Seriously though, is being the only person active on an RP server really a bannable offense?

So yes, I am constantly on edge... any bit of hope I might have can come crashing down just because it was sunny on Tuesday and they got up on the wrong side of the bed.

And no, I'm not trying to be passive aggressive here or guilt trip people. I'm just saying that I've been through quite a lot and I'm not even sure how to even articulate even a little of the pain without sounding like I've gone down the deep end.

Maybe I already have... I wouldn't know. I just know is that I've been dealing with this sort of... madness IRL just as much as online.

I've never had the best of luck... or it's really strange luck, I'm not sure either.

[theminecraftbox]

do you ever think about how hard c!dream's trust got betrayed by c!sam and c!bad, and if that ever made him doubt c!punz as well? how much of a relief must it have been to see c!punz after? bc i can't stop aaaaaa

/dsmp /rp

I think about it On The Daily actually :)

I think about how long it took for Dream to accept Sam’s betrayal in the first place: how often he denied that anything was wrong. How when Quackity showed up with Sam’s weapons, Dream screamed for him. How weeks and weeks later, Dream insisted to Quackity that Sam wouldn’t let him kill him.

I think about how Dream saw Bad’s discomfort with his suffering, but must have been so unsure how to gauge it. Bad looks at him so sadly, but he doesn’t DO anything besides bring him a few sandwiches—does Bad really think that’s somehow enough? It’s an insult. (It’s so much, it’s the only kindness Dream’s felt in months.) How long before Dream decided to take a dreadful, terrible, unimaginable risk and ask Bad for help? Did he assume he’d be betrayed? Did he assume every day that Quackity would come in with fury in his eyes and Bad’s name on his lips and his last hope would be dashed?

I think about how reluctant Dream was to betray Techno, how devastated he was when Techno was trapped with him, how desperately he tried to save Techno’s life. And then how completely SURPRISED Dream was when Techno showed up outside the glass of his cell to rescue him. He wasn’t expecting it. He’d given up on expecting it.

And I think about how Dream’s voice sounded when he saw Punz again. Punz was late to their meeting spot. Dream had been lingering in the cold he hadn’t felt in months, without armor and without allies, wondering, wondering. If Punz didn’t show, of course he’d be fine, of course he would. He’d simply go to one of his safe houses, it wouldn’t be a big deal. If Punz has betrayed him—if Punz has been spreading his secrets—no, surely Sam would have interrogated him about that if it was known, right? Surely Sam would have wanted Dream to give up all the details. So it’s fine. At worst, Punz won’t show and Dream will be on his own, but he’s been alone for a year, he can handle it. And then Punz appears, and Dream releases the breath he’s been holding and tells himself he’s not shaking, and yells with joy and relief. He wasn’t worried.

[ruby-whistler]

Why c!Dream should (and probably will be) redeemed

Hi! I’m bad with intros. You’ve read the title, so, let’s start with the definitions.

In this essay, we are considering the popularized definition of “redemption” instead of the classical one, which is, as per the Oxford Dictionary, “the act of saving or state of being saved from the power of evil; the act of redeeming.” That’s not however the way the word is used in fandom and media.

/dsmp /rp

The definition of redemption I’ll be working with in this essay is not forgiveness by the people who c!Dream has hurt, nor is it removing himself entirely from his past actions, but moreso the decision to change for the better and abandon destructive mindsets for himself and others.

A “redemption” in a narrative sense would be circumstances and a character arc that would allow that kind of healing and betterment.

I’d like to start this off by the fact that being “irredeemable”, in this sense, also doesn’t exist; redemption is a thing of conditions and choice, not of being allowed by someone else. You can’t gatekeep healing from people who seek it, just to be clear, and that even goes for people who have done terrible things.

Since I understand there is a lot of concern for c!Dream’s past actions, here is a post from people who are much more fit than me to speak on the matter, about the way in which they see a possible c!Dream redemption arc.

Another disclaimer, I am not going to be considering c!Dream only from the perspective of c!Tommy in this essay. c!Dream appears in other people’s perspectives and he himself has his own, unseen perspective. As a character, he is an individual person in his own right rather than just the antagonist of c!Tommy’s story, and so I do not have much concern for their narratives intertwining too much should this writing choice occur.

I’d also like to note that redemption is, in this sense, always a positive thing for everyone involved - someone who’s been prone to doing bad things in the past deciding not to do them anymore and try to change, or just simply heal enough to consider it, isn’t going to have a long-term negative effect in any of the characters, but rather the other way around. Healing is an unlimited resource, and the victims do not have to heal first for the person who hurt them to consider being better.

Here’s a well-written thread on Twitter that elaborates a bit to finish off this point, and let’s move on to actually talking about redemption in the context of the Dream SMP, and c!Dream specifically.

Why a c!Dream redemption arc is not only a good writing choice, but in this case the only good writing choice;

c!Dream, as we all know, has been subject to mental and physical abuse to the point of straight up torture by both c!Sam and c!Quackity (to different extents). He has been in indescribable amounts of suffering for the past 74 days at the time this essay will be published. That is six and something times the duration of the entire exile arc in canon.

Whatever the interpretation of his words in prison is, what is undeniable is first of all the fact his mental stability is absolutely crushed at this point, second that no human being could possibly ever deserve to undergo this, and third, his stay in the prison is showing off his humanity and making him out to be sympathetic.

Now, consider this; how would it feel if c!Tommy died at the end of the exile arc? Empty, there would be no catharsis to such an end, especially because of all of the hurt he’d gone through. Objectively, a bad writing choice.

Let’s compare, narratively of course, this situation to the prison arc. Even though I would never say one of them is “better” or “worse” than the other, since both are terrible and undeserved, c!Dream’s current state checks off all of the boxes that would make his death unsatisfying in the storyline; even if people want him gone, there would still be the dissatisfaction at the current build-up and why they even did it in the first place (it really wasn’t necessary to anyone else’s story to make him out as a victim, and yet they did) if they were planning to kill him off anyways. And since the prison arc is naturally meant to induce sympathy, even from an angst perspective it would simply not make sense within the themes and writing of the plot.

So, c!Dream can’t die, and he also can’t stay in the prison forever - the build-up must lead to something, which is logically a breakout. Great… what now?

Well, the Dream SMP prides itself in accurate representation of trauma and mental instability, specifically cc!Tommy and cc!Dream who have pulled it off incredibly during the exile arc.

Now, undoubtedly, after the prison, c!Dream is going to be just terribly traumatized- considering the writers’ past creative decisions, would it make sense for him to play the role of a dangerous, heartless villain in other people’s stories, while completely ignoring the logical fallout of what he’s been through?

In my mind, no. The most possible result is that cc!Dream is going to rightfully portray someone who’s been hurt so much he is broken, scared and tortured into submissions over months of agony and slowly stripping away of his agency, his dignity, his humanity. And that is… not going to be pretty, nor is he going to be in any way the same as before.

After everything, I’d be surprised if he can properly look at shears without shaking. That’s not villain behaviour, that’s the behaviour of someone who needs help.

Which leads me to another point, which is relatability. Believe me or not, there are people out there who heavily relate to c!Dream because they have been through things that allow them to see themselves in the character - abandonment, mental illness, etc. - or who have had destructive mindsets they have struggled to let go of in the past.

To them, as well as to the viewer, redeeming c!Dream could actually be a very good example, showcasing that anyone who has done bad things or has been hurt in the past can learn that it is possible to be better, to move on, to not be stuck in a loop but to actively seek help and then use that support to find the path to healing.

Making c!Dream a better person, who in a way, wins over his past, over his trauma, over the hurt he’s caused, and manages to actually get better… is inspiring, in a sense. It shows that you can abandon unhealthy mindsets, you can find a support group of people who care about you, you can make your life better simply by deciding to be better and then sticking to that, no matter how difficult the process.

This is why I believe that redeeming c!Dream would not be bad writing, but quite the opposite, and that the prison arc is an obvious set-up. Alright, but how does that work with the character? How could someone so widely hated mentally improve in such a seemingly violent and terrible environment? Would it even make sense within the context of c!Dream’s character so far? Well,

Why c!Dream has the capacity for healing and the Dream SMP the ability to provide it;

First of all, let’s remind ourselves that through c!Dream’s entire spiral he wasn’t ever directly given a chance to change. He was regarded as someone to defeat in order to accomplish a happy ending, or as someone who needed to be removed in order to achieve power on the SMP. Ever since the 16th, which is when the corruption of the character is the most obvious, there have been no attempts to reach out or to help him. I do not blame the characters for this - I am simply pointing out that since it has never happened before, we do not know how he would respond, and that, after everything he’s been through, any bit of kindness or compassion towards him will be a new concept he will have to learn to deal with somehow.

This point is especially driven home by the fact that both c!Quackity and c!Sam would often tell him he is a monster who deserves nothing but to suffer, and that what he’s going through is never going to amount to all the hurt he’s caused - basically removing any possibility for ever getting better (because by this logic, he doesn’t deserve support, and he doesn’t deserve to get better) from his line of sight.

He also hasn’t had a support system since shortly after the 16th, when his friends left him over c!George’s dethronement and made no effort to mend their relationship afterwards. c!Dream isn’t used to having allies and people on his side, but to being hated; again, wouldn’t that mean positive reinforcement could very well be all he needs to make the choice?

His bad mindsets - attachments are weakness, ends always justify the means, people will consider you a bad person no matter what you do - have been continuously proven right by his environment, even in prison. Any kind of subversion, plus an explanation as to why they are wrong, could be of great help to c!Dream.

Just another disclaimer; I do not believe c!Dream would change thanks to the treatment in prison, but rather despite it. His mental stability is non-existent at that point, and in order to get better he needs genuine emotional support from the people around him as well as to heal before he can redeem himself.

Alright, but… c!Dream has hurt a lot of people. Who would be fit to help him?

Let’s start off with the worst option and why it’s impossible the writers would even attempt this; c!Tommy.

c!Tommy has no responsibility to help or ever forgive c!Dream - not to say he could. The two, as it is, would drag each other down instead of helping in any capacity, and only make matters worse. The two of them shouldn’t even interact in the best case scenario - the best thing for both of them would be if they got enough healing and support individually that they could live around each other and not get their trauma or toxic habits triggered when interacting for whatever purpose of the plot.

So, if not c!Tommy (and c!Tubbo neither by extension), who could redeem c!Dream?

Well, he can’t do it on his own for sure. Being in nature with animals is nice, but further isolation from other people would merely help with the prison trauma, not with the state of his tendencies when interacting with others. He, once again, needs positive reinforcement from other people for him to heal properly.

There are two main options for this in my mind, and then there’s a few individuals he could also find comfort in, including people from both groups or those unaligned.

1) Kinoko Kingdom

From the people of this new country, c!Dream has never negatively interacted with c!Karl before, he has never hurt c!George and he hasn’t directly harmed c!Sapnap. Although the relationship with his old friend group could be difficult to rekindle, none of them have grudges against him that are too personal, and they have been canonically close friends since the beginning of the SMP, so it would be very much possible to rebuild burnt bridges. They’d be familiar, and with the addition of c!Karl they could be a good source of comfort for c!Dream after he either breaks out or is released from prison - just gotta convince c!Sapnap not to kill him first.

2) The Syndicate

From the Syndicate, c!Dream has never directly interacted with c!Nikki, and from what I know of her character she never seemed to be very affected by his actions - even doing his work for him when he was planning to burn down the L’Mantree. c!Techno is an ally who doesn’t have anything against him, and as for c!Ranboo, here is why I believe c!Dream being in the Syndicate could be positively influential on his character arc as well;

c!Ranboo and c!Philza have had a conversation about change, during which c!Ranboo made it clear he thinks everyone can change except for c!Dream; who, in his mind, is “too deep down the rabbit hole”. c!Philza replied that he thinks anyone can change if given enough time.

… you see what I’m getting at?

c!Dream has been implied to be an ally to c!Ranboo’s enderwalk state (or the state when he has access to his full memory), and hence would most likely not behave negatively towards him at all. While it might make it more difficult for c!Ranboo to deal with his own issues, it might also give him more motivation to get to the bottom of it as well, especially since he now has access to the person who, presumably, started this all. While this is going on, c!Dream would show himself in a much different light than c!Ranboo sees himin, which could lead to confusion, realization of the flaws in his own logic, and hence, positive character development.

Here’s a great post about why c!Techno as a character could be a great asset in c!Dream’s healing process & redemption, and why there is not much need to worry about him not knowing or finding out about c!Dream’s actions.

Of Kinoko Kingdom and the Syndicate, as far as I know, neither c!Tommy nor c!Tubbo have ever been directly involved with these groups, nor are they planning to.

Another important point to make is that, while c!Tommy needs to be kept away from c!Dream in order to heal properly, the same goes for c!Quackity and c!Sam in c!Dream’s case. While c!Quackity has high chances to interact with either Kinoko Kingdom or the Syndicate in the future, there’s an even higher chance, in that situation, that c!Dream would be offered protection, which is also important; there is no healing from trauma without the knowledge of safety, to some degree.

So, this was an essay as to why I think c!Dream’s recovery and redemption (one needs to come before the other, naturally) is not only extremely possible but also could be pulled off well and have a positive impact on both the characters, and the audience.

[cosmoscourge-a]

I’m going to step away from Tumblr.

So, as all of you have noticed, I haven’t really been on Tumblr as of late. This decision of mine is basically just confirming a state of affairs that’s already been true for the past few months and that I believe will continue to be true. Still, though, because I haven’t exactly discussed it with anybody, this may come as somewhat of a shock, so I would like to take some time now to explain.

Last night I came to a realization about how I’ve felt about Tumblr–I have more or less completely lost the energy to be on here and to do RPs; I do have sporadic inspiration, but on the whole, the thought of doing anything more than short threads with muses I was once super attached to exhausts me. I don’t truly have the will to be on here anymore, even to post headcanons which is what I usually do when I’m too exhausted to RP; every time I think about posting my extensive hcs to Tumblr, I just go “eh, not today.” I do, however, feel more driven to RP one-liners on Discord, so I’ve decided that I would be focusing on that for the time being. However, upon further reflection, I have realized that this is a change that may actually turn out to be permanent. This is why.

As I’ve said in previous posts, my life is starting to get busier. As I move further and further toward law school, I’ve found that I have less and less energy to spend online. Grad school is my biggest chance to finally achieve the financial independence from my abuser that I’ve so craved, and I want to put more of my focus toward it. Publicity is fun, but it’s also incredibly draining because you constantly have to worry about pleasing the crowd instead of simply having fun with your friends. Thinking deeply about my future, this is not where I want my life to be.

Now onto the more important factor. I do want to say that nothing terrible has happened recently that made me do this, but I’d be lying if drama wasn’t a factor in my leaving. My life online has been relatively peaceful as of late, but I’ve had several traumatizing experiences in the past and I would only be kidding myself if I thought that being on Tumblr wouldn’t put me at risk of being traumatized again. In the past, I have been threatened with a callout in retaliation for standing up to someone’s toxic behavior. I have been screamed at by random strangers because they didn’t like my portrayals. I have watched as someone I considered one of my first friends in RP got exposed as a rapist. I have been ghosted by people with whom I’ve shared multi-year friendships. I have been viciously attacked in 3-4 page rants by people who I had once held in the highest esteem and who I nearly trusted with my IRL information, sometimes over the most trivial things. And I have had all-night panic attacks three times within the past year over things that happened online. I do not want to be in an environment where I’m at a constant risk of being exposed to people who will perpetrate these behaviors, because I no longer have the emotional energy to deal with them. I cannot have an all-night panic attack before a crucial exam, or deal with people trying to dig up dirt on me when I’m in the middle of practicing law. I’m 25 and I have visible grey hairs, for fuck’s sake. For my own mental health, I need to recognize that this platform has done me harms that I still haven’t healed from–and I need to move into a safer space for my own protection.

So here’s what’s going to happen. For the next few months until law school starts, we’ll have business as usual: I will be placing more emphasis on Discord RP while continuing to post headcanons and such and to RP on Tumblr whenever I feel like it. However. Starting August 22 (the start date of my law school’s orientation), I will be moving all of my RPs to Discord and Google Docs for the foreseeable future. I will set up private servers with people, and I can also have servers with multiple people in them–but the servers with multiple people will only be populated by friend groups who I know for a fact can get along, because I have no time or energy to moderate disputes should they arise. I may set up a private, password-protected Tumblr blog that stores all of my muse profiles and headcanons just so I can have them all in one place, but I will not be doing this for the public anymore–I intend to just stay tight with my friends.

Thank you all for reading and understanding. Thank you too for all being on this journey with me, and I hope we can have even more fun in this new chapter together. <3

天

[blufox234isadumbname]

Las Nevadas and Poker Cards theory

/rp /dsmp (all of the mentioned people are characters of the Dream SMP. not the actual content creators)

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So this began with a random thought floating in my head about the new characters introduced to the Las Nevadas lore in Episode 3. This sparked the reawakening of my obsession with cartomancy and the meanings behind playing cards. So subsequently, I decided to associate the new four characters to the four symbols of the playing card deck

For a brief intro to playing cards, the standard 52-card deck uses the French suit - which include the diamonds, hearts, clubs and spades. Each suit/symbol includes three face cards (King, Queen and Knave) and ten numbered cards (Ace of ... to Ten of ...) The suit of cards varied throughout history before the French suit became popularised. Most of the derived meanings of the card suits themselves have mostly been very much after the creation of the suits, but I still think their symbolism is still interesting to look back into. The changes to each suit along with each varying meaning will be highlighted in individual sections. So, let’s start with:

Foolish

For the first chapter, Quackity mocks Foolish of being inferior to the tempered god he used to be. Foolish in his current state is a pacifist, a normally non-violent character who doesn’t take the offence. To Quackity, that achieves nothing, backed up by how Foolish was killed off in a selfless act and could not fight back. Quackity mocks the temple Foolish built, saying it is merely an empty shell only made to look pretty. Like Foolish, it is only impressive on the outset, but when it comes to its use it does not serve a function. The magnificent temple is merely for show, like how Foolish appears as a god of undying yet still was able to lose a life. Quackity actively tries to paint a picture of that perception to Foolish, trying to convince Foolish that such a lifestyle has not been beneficial. What Quackity offers to Foolish is a chance to make a name for himself, by doing the opposite. Quackity wants Foolish to cause destruction instead of creation. He wants Foolish to be a cannon, to take the brunt of

Clubs in the French suit have been thought to represent peasants. They are the weaker members of the society, the ones without a legacy to leave behind unlike those higher above them. This is what Quackity view Foolish as, a mere peasant who does not leave his own mark even despite being a god. When it comes to tarot readings, the clubs are seen as the wands. This particular suit tends to refer to calls to action, associated with the element of fire. They represent both aspects of creation to build and cook, and of destruction. It is symbolic of passion, where one’s motivations lie within. Meanings behind the wands deal with one’s own consciousness, what one’s own ambitions, what makes a person create action. It’s also interesting to see that Foolish in the past, brought destruction to a town with lava. So with this suit, Foolish is seen to need to take more offensive action. He needs to take the chance with Las Nevadas to create that action, to create destruction as he did before. To become more than the lowly being he is now.

Charlie

This one is trickier to pinpoint what suit he is since this is the first and currently only time we’ve seen him in the lore. In the time he was introduced, we can still deduce something about his story in the Las Nevadas arc. For instance, his role in Las Nevadas is being a mole for Quackity. Like a more goopy Hercules Mulligan, he can acquire intel and slink out with ease. He is a shapeshifter technically, able to mimic anything. The only seen problem he has is his unawareness of the world around him, basically akin to a child experiencing the world for the first time.

So I associate Charlie with the Spades, the commonly associated symbol for nobility. To Quackity, Charlie is not someone too hard to influence while at the same time may seem to have influence with the knowledge he holds. In past iterations of the spade, it was a sword. Even in Italian, the swords suit was referred to as a spade before it became the symbol. Charlie is the secret weapon with the intel he holds. Charlie is the most important to Quackity, the one who holds the most value above all the other candidates. Unlike the others, Quackity doesn’t berate or deliberately ruin what Charlie has, mostly because he has nothing to begin with. Instead, he is praised and gifted a home, like how nobility, when they are born, are simply gifted their titles. As the swords suit in tarot, spades represents aspects of thinking and communication. From his spy job, Charlie might open his eyes to a complicated world in a childlike manner. He’ll learn slowly but surely, whilst slowly having his perceptions being altered by Quackity. He already has shown doing this by lying to Charlie about snow. It is Q’s goal to coerce the easily swayable Charlie to blindly follow him akin to a child following a parent

Purpled

A mercenary after wealth, Purpled is being offered to join Las Nevadas in exchange for money. It is shown he is competent at sticking to what he believes in, but he does still follow the money mostly. However, Purpled is after more than just simple jobs to accrue wealth, which is what Quackity baits him with. He blows up the only thing that gave Purpled a name in the Dream SMP and offers him much more than the original incentive from the Red Banquet job. With the UFO gone, Purpled is given a choice to go big or go home, the final decision still unknown by the end of Purpled’s chapter. It’s interesting to see Quackity’s approach with Purpled, he’s much more confrontational with him than the others. Where Foolish was just insulted and Charlie merely being strung along, here Q deliberately makes a statement with TNT and a weapon. This might have to do with how Purpled is to be hired as a mercenary again, the man to depend on to take out a target. The only difference is the massive gain and utmost loyalty to Las Nevadas

Purpled is the suits of Diamonds. This suit has been thought to be associated with the merchants, the ones who gain most from sales of goods and services. To Quackity, he just has to convince Purpled with money beyond his wildest dreams. It’s quite important to note that Diamonds used to be bells in German suits, more specifically hawk-bells. These bells were used for falconry in medieval Europe, to denote a bird’s location and status. This is like what Quackity wants to do with Purpled, to keep the hunter under his guidance and not have his loyalties lie elsewhere. Diamonds in the tarot is seen as the suit of pentacles, concerning everything material and worldly. Pentacles often do not just concern financial matters but anything of security and practicality. It is all about what is realistic, for Purpled that is what he can own. Quackity knows that, he knows to bait the mercenary with money and to gamble with it.

Fundy

This one is a fun one to cover since this chapter is solely from Fundy’s point of view. Not once does it shift to Quackity and what he sees. Only Fundy and his nightmare. In the dream, Fundy wakes up in the middle of a red desert. It’s been said before, but being in a desert represents loneliness and disconnect. He is isolated and alone at first, except for Quackity. When he brought to the memories of L’manburg and its iterations, he views it all in awe. This contrasts with how he reacted before to the caravan, with anger and panic. In the dream with Quackity, he happily remembers the times of the past with Quackity, even if they were the most tragic times of L’Manburg’s history. The most notable thing about Quackity in the dream is the fact that he constantly makes Fundy feel noticed, make Fundy feel known and present. Fundy is not invalidated for his involvement in L’Manburg’s history. For once, Fundy feels happy. So when it twists around in Eret’s tower, a reminder of countless wars, the scene shifts to have Quackity in control. Fundy is told he does not matter all over again, told he will be as forgotten as L’Manburg’s history.

Fundy is the suit of Hearts, the suit associated with the clergy. This refers to someone with religious duties or more generally concerning what a person holds within their heart. This person is only important due to the group they associate with, similar to Quackity saying Fundy does nto matter until eh chooses to join with him. Besides just solely the card suits, the Heart tends to represent feelings and relationships. The latter part is an integral part of Fundy’s story, how his relationships with others always tend to fall apart. Feelings are important to Fundy too since he’s only attached to many things because of those feelings. He almost gains nothing but emotional support. And really, that’s is just always been something Fundy has been after – someone to depend on. And so, Fundy is swayed by the promise of a stable relationship with others, something that his dream pre-empted to be used by Quackity. Hearts in the tarot is seen as the Cups or Chalice, which represents everything of emotions as well. More interestingly, the suit of Cups deals with the unconscious too, even dreams. Pretty matching.

 So what does it exactly mean for these connections with the poker cards? Well, to use the cards is to play the game of gambling, the game of poker. And that is what Quackity sees these people as, tools to use to win the game. He’s collecting these cards to gain a winning hand. It’s also evident that he’s pushing these cards to gamble as well. He cuts off all attachments they have and force their hand to take a risk. Foolish has to risk being destructive again. Charlie risks confiding with an untrustworthy friend. Purpled risks losing actual money. Fundy risks losing mental stability all over again. It’s all about taking a risk, something that Quackity is taking advantage of to win. The perception of the cards all come down to how Quackity sees what to string all of these people along to join his cause. In the end, Quackity only cares about what benefit it will bring to Las Nevadas, instead of giving sure promises of such high rewards for tagging along. With the parallels between how Quackity views the members to how Dream views others, it’s fun to see how Quackity sees more and more of this project as a game of chance he’s willing to take. So how will the game play out for all these cards? Only fates can tell.