#the Riverdale chosen one

[riverdale-retread]

From the Vanity Fair 2024 Hollywood Issue article

On a hazy winter afternoon, Charles Melton paces on his deck in the Silver Lake hills. He's demonstrating exactly how, and where, he developed the physicality of his character, Joe, in May December, which has vaulted the Riverdale alum from teen-soap idol to art house heartthrob. Between sips of Coke Zero, Melton gazes out at the panoramic view of the Los Angeles skyline. "I've always been a big dreamer, and I've tried not to set any limits in my mind because I'll get caught up in the limits outside of me," he says. "I'm always seeking. My ambition is always driving me."

He can't say what's next, after so many prizes and nominations. But Melton has come out of May December focused and reoriented. He's ready to take the town in his hands—and you hear that a lot from this group. "There's been this democratization of creativity where gatekeepers have been demoted and everyone can make things," says Portman. Audiences are already reaping the rewards.

[wallbeatjournal]

I think Hiram asked the warden to sneak him a pair of Archie's used underwear

[nellarw95]

Happy Birthday Chad 🥳🎂🎈🎁🎉

August 24,1981

Buon Compleanno 🥳🎂🎈🎁🎉

24 Agosto 1981

[philcollinsenjoyer]

AND FINALLY CAN I SAY. if god forbid jughead's memory was him smiling at betty the most annoying people you have ever met on twitter would talk about it meaning bughead is endgame until they're blue in the face. SO I'M ALLOWED. to say interesting you picked that specific scene with archie 🤨

[dayas]

I’m sorry Varchie and Brucas are the same ship in a different font.

[justjoe]

                        Got me looking so crazy right now.                                                   Your love’s got me looking so crazy                                                     Got me looking so crazy right now                                         Your touch got me looking so crazy right now                              You got me hoping you’ll page me right now                     Your kiss you got me hoping you’ll save me right now                     Looking so crazy, your love, you got me looking                                            Got me looking so crazy, love  

[jupitermelichios]

so you've probably seen the news that riverdale ended with the main 4 in an actual, canonical, poly relationship

and that's amazing for a bunch of reasons, including the fact that the number of canon poly relationships on tv are miniscule and also it brings the number of canonically straight main cast members down to 1. Ethel is legitimately the show's token straight representation. love that for her

but to get the full impact of that news, you really also need to know that in order for the polycule to form:

Jughead's transdimensional angel girlfriend has to destroy multiple other timelines to create a new stable timeline for the polycule to live in. timelines destroyed include the one where jughead is immortal and trapped forever in a bunker underneath riverdale, and one where tony and fangs's magical timetravelling gay baby is fighting an evil wizard for control of a train full of evil ghosts

Jughead's magical transdimensional angel girlfriend then returns to the newly created main timeline, and restores the main cast's memories of all the other timelines, which she does by forcing them to watch the show riverdale. That is not a joke or a metaphor she even goes to the trouble to bring a colour tv back to the 1950s so they can watch in colour, except for Clay and Julian, because they did not exist in any of the previous timelines and they're sad about it and refuse to watch a show they're not in.

(Well, Julian technically did exist in the original timeline, but only as a ghost possessing a haunted doll, which doesn't really count)

(Also for some reason as well as the main cast, she makes dilton doily watch it, despite his only contributions to the show being a) dying as a human sacrifice in the og timeline, b) trying to blow up the planet and then dying because of it in the rivervale timeline, and c) gay kevin telling people he has the biggest dick in the 1950s tlmeline, and honestly, I feel like it would be kinder to just not show him any of that)

(ethel does not get to watch riverdale, because she did the only sensible thing any riverdale character has ever done and fucked off to a normal town to have an actual life, because as well as being the token straight character, she's also the token sane one)

After watching Riverdale, all of the main cast except Jughead and Betty decide it sucks and they hate it, and ask tabby to rewipe their memories and only give them the cute bits and not all the serial killers and shit, because the writers have run out of time for subtle metaphors and they weren't sure the audience had fully grasped that the entirely last season of the show is a weird metacommentary on the criticisms people have of the show riverdale so they're just straight up going to have archie andrews look straight to camera and say that the show should have been more like the comics

also I have no idea how only showing them the happy bits works, because that removes 90% of the entire plot so I assume they just have a bunch of completely out of context sex scenes and meals at the diner and nothing else. possibly also some musical numbers, idk if I'd count those as happy memories personally

Betty and Jug chose to keep their memories of the Gargoyle King and Betty's 2 long-lost secret gay serial killer brothers because they're edgy (and also because the writers are annoyed at all the people who say the show should be more like the comics, so they have the smartest characters say they liked the actually and everyone else is being a wimp about all the serial killers, because again, we have run out of time for subtlety)

Having had his memories restored, Jug's like "oh hi tabitha, my secret transdimensional angel girlfriend, I haven't seen you for months, I've really missed you. I'm so glad you're you're back. i love you so much"

And she responds by telling him that she'd chosen to write herself out of the timeline when she fixed in, and she has to return to the great big diner in the sky (not a joke, heaven is a diner in the riverdale universe and, it is heavily implied, also in our universe, so that's something to look forward to), so she freezes time halfway through kissing him and just nopes out of time and space. which is also how I would handle all break ups if I had angel powers tbh

since jug is now single, and all 4 of them just got multiple timeline's worth of fucking one another mainlined straight into their brains, the main 4 decide to all start dating

(they are probably inspired to do this in part by betty's sister, who in the new timeline is a burlesque performer who's stage name is Polly Amorous)

As far as I can tell from the last episode, they tell gay kevin about this and literally no one else, for reasons known only to themselves

also genuinely can't tell if this was the writers wanting a poly relationship for them, or if they just couldn't be bothered with the internet slap fights that would have followed them picking individual monogomous ships to be endgame

they also, hilariously, refuse to say that archie and jug are dating, I assume due to network restrictions, despite archie being canonically bi at this point, so betty's just like 'well sometimes I go to veronica's and we fuck, and the boys do... something we're not going to talk about'

the final episode of the show is a flash forward where as a now old betty is dying, jughead's ghost shows her memories of their teens, in which it's reveal that she has just straight up forgotten about being in a poly relationship

literally she looks at her teen self and is like "wow, I seem weirdly close to veroica jughead and archie" and Jug's ghost has to be like "because we were dating. how do you not remember that we were dating? what the hell? did I mean nothing to you?!"

also old betty specifically seeks out reggie and is like "hey you know how me and you dated, and you and veronica were together for years in multiple timelines, and you archie keep declaring your undying love for one another and nearly fucking, well we're all dating and we specifically decided not to invite you, sucks to be you" and walks away and I have no idea why she did it. justice for reggie

anyway RIP to the greatest television show ever made, it was so gay and so deranged and so meta, and there really will never be anything quite like it again

[bauxitt]

HoA AU where everything is the same except the CW produced the show with a rating of 16+ (think riverdale style) here are a few plot points for fun

This is mostly Jerome points because I barely remember other plots. It's been years. Feel free to add

Jerome's abusive parent(s) would probably be a bigger plot point and actually explain why he's so withdrawn emotionally and trusting of no one, yet desperate for attention and wanting to make others miserable like him. Selfish because he's very aware that if he doesn't put himself first, no one will. Except for Poppy, who he knows needs someone putting her first like he doesn't have. I kind of like the idea that Poppy sort of takes that for granted (not mean-spirited but more naively) and uses that to her advantage, hurting Jerome by accident.

Patricia and Jerome get to be the gays they were always meant to be, but could not because it's a children's show how scandalous. Don't try and deny it.

Joy and Eddie get to be the bisexuals they clearly are, and so Patricia/Joy and Eddie/Jerome happen instead

Jerome always doing scams to get money is because his mother never sends him any, leaving him constantly poor. (A personal hc of mine).

Said scams go from silly ones that end in his humiliation like the show to downright sketchy ones with scary people that puts him trouble way over his head (build up to when he gets in contact with Rufus).

Jerome's dealings with Rufus in s1 are deeper rooted in Jerome needing money and feeling shunned by Alfie and the others, and Rufus sees a desperate teenager wanting approval and affection.

Patricia's trauma from Rufus being addressed and having consequences that was barely touched upon in the show.

Rufus gets to have a knife and a gun, much more fun :)

Also, "mummify you alive" is actually just "kill you" and Jerome is truly threatened with said knife and gun

The gang are constantly let down by how useless the police are, always ending in them having to deal with whatever it is, from Patricia and Jerome's kidnapping, to Victor and his cult, and joy's disappearance and Rufus going around threatening children with guns and sharp objects. Really, they're just paid to turn the other cheek when it comes to anubis.

The teenage drama is extra extra

Victor and his cult are still rather harmless, they don't wish harm on the children, but it's much more ominous and mystical.

When Rufus grabs Jerome, it's for leverage against Sibuna and Victor, aware that Victor don't want harm to come to the children of his house.

Both Patricia and Jerome will have to be tied while captive because that makes sense. They are unfortunately also probably slapped around/beaten by Rufus for their sharp sarcasm. As well as Rufus having an actually secure place to keep the captive.

Expanding on how terrified Jerome is of Rufus, like even in the children's show, he was clearly scared. And why he's so scared.

The Edison Sweet plot being deepened and explored further with sweet making more effort, and Eddie being more reluctant. Getting an actual payoff for the plot with Eddie finally accepting his dad and them bonding

Nina the chosen one plots are actually rather dramatic already, but what they're doing and the consequences are further impacting on the group. I can't remember much of this, so feel free to give thoughts.

I must have blacked out/repressed season 3 because i can't remember a single plot point related to that 🤷‍♀️

[worst-teenager-competition]

WELCOME TO THE WORST TEENAGER COMPETITION 2023!!

This is heavily inspired by the vast collection of poll-based competitions taking place on tumblr at the moment, especially @/sexymanotd, @/nonbiney-swag-competition and @/autismswagsummit! Please check them out if you haven't already!

Welcome to the official competition between Tumblr's worst teenagers! They are going to fight each other with fingerless glove covered fists, pocket knives and sports bags :)

Organized and moderated by one awful teenager, @kriscommitscrimes! Hopefully this doesn't kill me, exams are already kicking my ass :D

Notes/Rules:

Contestants were chosen (for the most part) from people submitting characters on this post.

Every contestant is either canonically a teenager, or is heavily implied to be one. Unless people were lying on their submissions.

Some contestants were added as a joke by me yeah I know I'm sorryyyy

Using a random number generator to decide matches because brackets hurt my head

A tie will lead to a tiebreaker, and if both characters are still tied after said tiebreaker, both will go through to the next round

Every character here is VASTLY different. Some are just dirtbags, others are literal murderers. This competition is just for fun

Voting will start on the 17th of February, 8:00 P.M. GMT!!!

And without further ado, our contestants!

A list of the character's names is provided under the cut, as not all of the images are clear.

Hunter - The Owl House

Casey Jones - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Jet the Hawk - Sonic

Rodrick Heffley - Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Kris Dreemurr - Deltarune

Katsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia

Foxybro - Five Night's at Freddy's 4

Edward Elric - Full Metal Alchemist

Susie - Deltarune

Ben Pincus - Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous

Robbie Valentino - Gravity Falls

Jeannemary Chatur - The Locked Tomb

Nico di Angelo - Percy Jackson

Billy Hargrove - Stranger Things

Sasuke Uchiha - Naruto

Vriska Serket - Homestuck

Azula - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Sasha Waybright - Amphibia

Jason Dean - Heathers

Y/N - Literally just you but a teenager

Zuko - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Me - Literally just me

Lori Meyers - Night in the Woods

Danny Fenton - Danny Phantom

Link - Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Matt Tholomule - The Owl House

Shadow the Hedgehog - Sonic

Leonardo - Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Chloé Bourgeois - Miraculous Ladybug

Kokichi Oma - Danganronpa

Axl Heck - The Middle

Gladion - Pokémon: Sun and Moon

Vanitas - Kingdom Hearts

Jinx - Arcane

Aubrey - Omori

Jimbo Jones - The Simpsons

Cheryl Blossom - Riverdale

Ruby - The Path

Fourteen - Numberjacks (don't kill me)

Rachel Berry - Glee

And with that, may the best (worst) teenager dirtbag win!

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

…ok, so you mentioned ‘tome of the Seussaverse’, and im immediately intrigued just by the name. What is/was that?

Tome of the Suessaverse was a thought experiment my boyfriend and I get into on and off

The original idea was "so many creators are so desperate to be cool and edgy and liked by Twitter brats that it almost feels like they make every bad call on purpose...so what if we did that for real”

So we took a property no self respecting person would genuinely want to edgyify-Dr. Suess's work-and went to work on Suessaverse: A shared universe multiarc fanfiction where every character, plot, and relationship idea is done the worst it could be done while still being Twitter desirable

Some features included:

-Onceler and Grinch being in an abusive "marriage story" type romance that's problematic elements are always brushed over because it's gay

-Cindy Lou Who being confirmed bi by flirting with Sally from Cat in the Hat exactly once, while also being hypersexualized (we're not total weirdos, there's no children in this it's a real Riverdale "were actually all 25 now")

-The Cat in the Hat kills the main characters of his books mom in an effort to combine the four fish (one fish two fish red fish blue fish) in the foxes sock to create the bat from the live action meme

-The lorax has magic tree powers for fighting and dies in the first arc. He appears as a force ghost pretty regularly

-Jojo from the speckworld in Horton escapes his abusive mayor father as he is the chosen one to wield the Tome of the Suessaverse

-Horton has a human form that he stays in the entire story. And is dating Cindy

-The boy from Cat in the Hat is also secretly Ted from the Lorax universe and he's been dimension hopping (speck hopping) before the events of the story

-The gang stops Yertle the Turtle from committing genocide and he becomes a soft old man member of the team

-Oobleck is venom from Spider-Man

And that's just scratching the surface

[garbagequeer]

the thing about the jabitha ending is that to me it’s the most tragic shit to happen to my buddy jughead because all previous riverdale tragedies have happened in a relentlessly tragic world and therefore were in a way just matching the tone of their usual reality. but it’s when they make a cutesy little world for their cutesy little friends that tabitha is like yeah i cant live here ever i can never enjoy this thing i’ve ensured for all of you and knowing this i still chose it because it’s right for everyone else. she has worked for a year all alone being the only one who knew the stakes and remembered their lives just to get them here and now she cant be in the world ever again and this is only happening to her and no one else and shes all alone again for the rest of time. tabitha i would have chosen to live in murder capital of the world and kept you alive forever

[jerrydevine]

14 25 30 for the ask game ^_^

tee i got so excited you asked about my physical movie collection that i just stared at them and smiled and giggled and FORGOT to answer this LOL

14. do you like watching movies alone or with friends?: depends on if im watching to have fun (with friends) or watching to really observe (alone).. hmmmm both :-)

25. how many physical movies do you own?: YAYAYAYAYYYY OKAY LET ME TELL YOU 😀 31 dvds including my prized secondhand full beatles anthology and barbarella and when harry met sally from taylor and TWO OF US 😁 anddd 19 blurays including my prized secondhand copy of THE LAST WALTZ 🥰 and velvet goldmine and yeah. vampire academy 🤭. im so so so so so so so lucky that my library is always doing 2 for $1 dvd sales from their weeded collection AND i have a used book + record + dvd store that's the size of a costco warehouse in my city that sells dvds for so cheap it's insane. sooooooooooo yayayay i love movies on my shelf and i always watch them and enjoy it!!!!!! also btw i have physical copies of some of glee + some of riverdale + all rtd era doctor who but those aren't movies so they don't technically count for this hehe

30. are you looking forward to any upcoming releases?: midas man about brian epstein.. i don't care if it sucks i love that gay man. and i will count stuff that's come out recently i haven't had a chance to watch so: the people's joker, i saw the tv glow, and chosen one: alexandre daigle 😁🥰

[wallbeatjournal]

thinking about the riverdale menu. obviously there are a lot of beverages. milkshake. root beer float chosen as a traumatized milkshake alternative. lodge rum. maple syrup. maple rum. juice shots that inspire you to go shoot your abuser. coffee so hot it almost reveals your preternatural invulnerability. meal-replacement smoothies (never discussed). fresh aid. and then the foods - sandwich(!) and burger of course. poisoned scone. poutine. tall stack of pancakes eaten before ritual murder. one large bite of apple. home-cooked sunday roast type meal served only ever as a threat/show of heteronormative force. candy drugs. candy musical theater references. magnolia cupcakes flown down from new york. and there's definitely more

[cantsayidont]

April 1986. Long ago, back in the prehistoric days when you could still potentially buy both a new comic book and a candy bar for a single U.S. dollar, DC had a protracted flirtation with digest-sized comics, obviously intended to capture some of the supermarket checkout rack space normally dominated by Archie Comics. With very few exceptions, they were all-reprint, with a diverse array of material ranging from Golden Age reprints to '70s horror comics to recent DC highlights. This issue, #71 of the BEST OF DC BLUE RIBBON DIGEST line (which was only a "series" in a very technical sense), was one of the last, if not the last, of this eight-year experiment, and it sort of highlights why it became unworkable.

Let's suppose that you're a kid in early 1986, and while in line at the grocery store, you persuade your parental figure to buy you this comics digest. If they could spare the $1.50 plus tax, there was no obvious reason to object — it's a comic with a silly cartoon character on the cover and seems to have some Superman and Batman stuff, no big deal. What it contains, however, is a very peculiar assortment of recent material, including, inter alia:

"The Day the Earth Died" from SUPERMAN #408 (Paul Kupperberg/Ed Hannigan/Curt Swan/Al Williamson), a story about Superman's nuclear anxiety that begins with a rather harrowing dream sequence where Superman sees Metropolis destroyed by nuclear attack, leaving him the only survivor.

"Mogo Doesn't Socialize" from GREEN LANTERN #188, the now famous Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons short that introduced Mogo, the Green Lantern who's a planet.

Three ridiculous Keith Giffen stories: Blue Devil fighting the Trickster (from BLUE DEVIL #8); Ambush Bug trying to hassle Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman into guest-starring in his new miniseries (from ACTION COMICS #565); and a short in which the Atari Force's alien pet Hukka is terrorized by a robotic toy (from ATARI FORCE #20).

A tongue-in-check Batman adventure from BATMAN #383 (Doug Moench/Gene Colan/Bob Smith) in which our hero, in both his identities, desperately tries and repeatedly fails to get some sleep.

A solo story for Katana from BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS (Mike W. Barr/Jerome K. Moore) in which Tatsu murders some guys and recovers a stolen Japanese artifact with no dialogue or sound effects other than running radio commentary on a baseball game.

The well-known Alan Moore Swamp Thing story ("Rites of Spring," from SWAMP THING #34, drawn by Stephen Bissette and John Totleben) where Abigail Arcane and the Swamp Thing get very high on one of his psychedelic tubers and Abby gets her monsterfucker card punched, which editor Barbara Randall said had to be carefully recut not for content, but to get it to fit the page format.

This was a reasonably representative sampling of DC's 1985 output, but it's a weird lineup that's all over the place in tone and content. I have no idea what a hypothetical kid would have made of "Rites of Spring" upon encountering it in this format (by the time I happened upon my copy of this digest years later — for 50 cents — I'd already read it in TPB), but it would have been apparent that we were not in Riverdale anymore.

One nice thing about the digest series is that they often had some thoughtfully selected material; the themed issues are worthwhile, chosen with care even if the size and quality of reproduction were far from ideal. DC has occasionally put out conceptually similar packages, usually in something more like regular comic book dimensions (the Walmart specials, for instance), not on a regular basis, and not on supermarket checkout racks.

[rythmicjea]

Hi!! What's your series where Jughead and Cheryl are chosen siblings?? Is it up on A03? Please share!

Hi!! Yes, it is on AO3. It's called "Last Songs from the Sockhop" (link below!). While it's a series focused on Jughead and Veronica's relationship, starting in the fourth story "Only You" (which happens during episode 7x18) we discover that there is a shared past with the two of them. Since the original Jellybean doesn't exist in this new timeline, one was created. Cheryl calls him "Forsythe" and he calls her "his Jellybean".

The series is almost finished and in every story after they discover their shared past, I've written it that she plays a prominent role in his life.

Below is just a cut excerpt from the first story. I personally really love their interaction in the fifth story "Twilight Time", which occurs after they get their memories back.

As he continued to flip, he found another note bookmarking a particular passage. Read this - and consider it a thank you for the summer when we were seven. Jughead had to take a moment to think. When he was seven it would have been 1946. But, strangely, nothing came to him at first. Like a mist revealing a new mystery, his memories started to surface. But they flipped in between something light and something dark. He recognized one but the other felt familiar. The clothes weren’t right in one of the clashing memories along with noises he didn’t recognize came through louder - music maybe? The recall was on the tip of his tongue. His muscles seemed to know the words but they couldn’t make the necessary sounds. Jughead shook his head hoping to clear the confusion and like a lightbox flipping on, he remembered the summer Cheryl was talking about. 

“I called her ‘Jellybean’...” Jughead whispered to himself.

[thatiranianphantom]

And the Riverdale Chosen One seems to be Charles!!

Did we see it coming from the beginning? No.

But are we very proud of him? Indeed we are!