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#the amount of work I’m going to have to do to make up for this
joeyb1989 · 1 day
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uh oh, i’m falling in love* - joe burrow
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summary: after the end of your toxic relationship, you find yourself falling for your roommate.
word count: 4.1k
pairing: joe burrow x reader
warnings: smut, fluff, minor angst, cussing
a/n: okay. i am so sorry if this is bad yall. i tried my best to fix it, so if it is bad… don’t tell me😍 this might be pure yap. i hope you all enjoy💗
even though this fic takes place in December of last year, Joe is not hurt!
this is part two — part one
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3 months later - December 2023
Your eyes slowly opened as sunlight entered the room through your sheer curtains. You never liked mornings in your relationship with Jake. You knew that your morning would start with an argument and your night would end with one. Ever since the breakup, you’ve learned to value your mornings. They now bring calm, peace, and tranquility to your day. 
You sat up in your bed, stretching your limbs as the smell of coffee brewing downstairs put a small smile on your face. “Why does he have to be so sweet?” you whispered to yourself, a content sigh escaping your lips.
After your daily routine of skincare, brushing your teeth, applying a small amount of makeup, and getting dressed, you started down the stairs of your and Joe’s shared home.
“Morning, Y/n,” Joe smiled once he was aware of your presence. His appearance almost made you choke on the saliva in your mouth. He was standing in the kitchen flipping the pancakes he was cooking while shirtless. You’ve seen Joe shirtless before, but his body will always amaze you. It looked like it took people years to craft him from gold. Your eyes slid down his body, seeing his Seinfeld sweatpants hanging deliciously low on his waist. Your gaze fixed on his golden treasure tail, smirking to yourself knowing what it led to.
“Good morning Joe,” you smiled, walking over to him, “Pancakes look good. You’ve really improved since the first time you made them.”
Flashback to your first morning in the house
“There you are. I was beginning to think that you were gonna stay in the shower forever,” Joe said as you walked into the kitchen freshly out of the shower, with a small limp in your step.
“I’ll have you know that the warm water helped my… sore muscles,” you retorted, growing embarrassed at the thought of the night before.
“From moving all your stuff in?” Joe smirked, taking a drink of his orange juice, knowing the real answer.
“Don’t even,” you giggled, your lips smiling when Joe handed you a cup of coffee after you sat down at a barstool.
“I made you some coffee, I hope you like it,” Joe scratched the back of his neck as you took a sip, “If you don’t I can make you another. I just wanted to be nice and-”
“Joe,” you took one of his hands in yours, “It’s perfect. Thank you. What is this? Pumpkin spice?”
“Yeah, I remember in high school when you would bring a pumpkin chai into Calculus class every day during the fall,” Joe sheepishly smiled, “So I figured you would like this.”
“Can you even blame me, though? Drink this,” you said as you handed the coffee cup back to him to take a sip.
Even though he hesitated at first, he took a sip from the coffee mug, nodding his head in contentment. “Damn, I can make a pretty sick cup of coffee,” Joe boasted
“Dare I say: better than Starbucks,” you giggled, “You know if football doesn't work out for you, maybe you should become a barista.”
“Thank you though, seriously,” you smiled, suddenly aware that you were still holding on to one of his hands.
“Anything for you,” repeating his words from the bar last week, subconsciously leaning in towards one another. The smell that went up your nose made you stop your actions, “Is something… burning?” you asked
“What?” Joe asked, still close to your face from how fogged his brain was.
“Do you not smell that?” you asked as you saw his eyes go wide when the realization hit him.
“Shit!” Joe said as he looked over at the burnt and smoking pancakes. He turned off the stove as endless giggles and laughs escaped your lips. Even though he was upset with himself that he let the pancakes he was making for you burn, your laugh made his frown turn into a smile.
There was no doubt about it, he was falling in love with you.
End of flashback
“Oh my god, that was so funny,” you laughed thinking about the memory.
“Yeah, was it funny when you had to fix us breakfast because you were scared I was gonna burn down the house?” Joe chuckled, handing you the vanilla coffee he prepared for you.
“You still helped though,” you smiled, taking a sip of the warm drink
“You’re a better cook than me anyway,” Joe said
“Well, by the looks of it, you’re becoming quite a good chef, Burrow,” you teased, looking at the strawberry pancakes, your absolute fav, that he was placing onto two plates.
“Learned from the best,” Joe poked your nose before it voluntarily scrunched up from the contact.
As you two ate breakfast together, you two talked about each other’s plans for the day. Joe was going to go to practice and watch film later in the day. Your plans were to go to work, work-out, and go to the grocery store before you come home.
A part of you wanted to stay with Joe all day. You just wanted to watch movies or shows with him all day while he made random comments. You wanted to hear his giggles and the jokes he would make. You were honestly doing anythingWas this a typical thought that someone would have for a friend? 
Later that day
After everything on your agenda for the day was done, you were sitting in the living room watching a random episode of Friends when Joe strutted into the house. His loose-hip walk making your thoughts run wild.
“Hey, Y/n,” Joe smiled as he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, before plopping onto the couch next to you.
“Hey, Joe,” you smiled back, “You want some popcorn?”
“Sure,” Joe grinned, taking a handful of the snack, “We haven't seen this episode together before, have we?”
“Mm.mm,” you shook your head, “This is in season five, I think we’re at the end of season three. I have this episode on because it’s just my favorite episode of the series.” After moving in together, Joe insisted that you two should have “roomie bonding time.” Which consisted of two nights a week where one of you would pick a show or movie to watch to watch for a couple hours. You always opted for Friends or Love Island. You never expected Joe to get so invested in either, but the man will shock you sometimes.
“What makes it your favorite?” Joe questioned, taking a drink of his water. His prominent Adam's apple bobbing, making it hard to focus on anything else.
“Uh- it- um… it’s hard to explain without spoiling anything for you. Let’s just say that a certain two characters hooked up, began secretly dating, and everyone finds out about it this episode.”
“First part sounds familiar,” Joe smirked, thinking back to their first night living together.
“I wish it was all familiar,” you thought, thinking of the love the two characters on the show shared.
That’s when it hit you. You were in love with Joe Burrow. You had been ever since that day in the bar, when Joe showed you how you deserved to be treated. You have been every day since then. Did he still feel the same? Did the night you two shared mean the same to him as it did to you? They always say being in love feels like warmth, like a fire that has been built for you. You definitely felt like that with Joe, but you doubt he felt like that with you.
“Yeah,” you chuckled nervously, not really sure how to reply to that.
“I still can’t believe that we…” Joe trailed off, rubbing his sweaty palms on his shorts.
“Had sex?” you bluntly said.
“Yeah,” Joe chuckled, his eyes widening at the memories.
Flashback to the night you moved in
“Awkward,” Joe joked as the movie you two were watching showed a particularly spicy sex scene between two characters.
After unpacking all your stuff, Joe insisted that he would make you dinner for your first night there. Even though he apologized many times that it might not be the best, you swore that he could be chef if the whole football thing fell through. He fixed chicken and pasta, paired with some veggies, with some wine to help you both relax after a long and tiring day. Both of you were definitely a little tipsy now that most of the bottle was empty, making your words a little more bold than they usually would be.
“I feel like I’ve been sex-deprived for a million years,” you drunkenly sighed, taking another drink of your wine.
“What do you mean,” Joe giggled, being caught off-guard.
“It- it doesn't matter,” you muttered, sulking to yourself.
“Tell me,” Joe replied, scooting closer to you.
You hesitated for a moment. Did you really want to unload all your problems on him? You know what, fuck it. This man’s heard worse from you. “I haven't had sex in almost two years. Jake said that I didn't deserve to feel good because I wasn't sexy enough or something. He would make me get him off, though,” you sighed, trying your best not to meet Joe’s eyes.
“That’s fucking bullshit. If you could see yourself in my eyes…” Joe trailed off, rubbing a hand down his face. How could someone think that you didn't deserve to feel good? You were the most incredible looking girl he had ever seen.
“What? Do you… think I’m sexy?” you asked, finally meeting his gaze. Taking note of how darker his eye color had gotten.
“Oh, the sexiest,” Joe said, leaning in even more. He was so close you could feel his breath on your face. “If you were mine, I would make you feel good every day of the week, baby girl.”
Your breath hitched as you felt his hand graze your waist as your gaze flicked down to his soft lips. “I wanna kiss you so bad,” you blurted.
“There’s nothing stopping you,” Joe voiced, leaning in and capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. His lips were so soft and fit to yours like two missing puzzle pieces. His hands pulled you into his lap as your tongues entwined with each other. “Y/n,” he groaned as you started grinding your crotch on his. Joe stood up, with you still in his arms, and strided for his bedroom.
Joe sat you down gently on his bed before he went back to kissing you. His lips trailed down your lips to your neck as he began searching for your sweet spot. Your hands tangled themselves with his hair, pulling him closer to you. “Fuck, Joey,” you moaned, embarrassingly loud when he found it. “Feel good?” Joe smirked.
“Mhm,” you whimpered. His hands went under your shirt, prompting you to lift your arms to let him pull it off. You were left in just your red lace bra, which made Joe go crazy.  “This is okay, right?” Joe asked, reaching behind you to touch the clasp of your bra.  You nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah,” you smiled up at him. His kind gesture made you feel so comfortable and safe.
He unclasped your bra and you felt suddenly insecure when his gaze fell on your breasts. As your arms went to cover them up, he pulled them away. You laid down on the bed, as he crawled over top of you. “You are… literally perfect, Y/n,” Joe smiled, kissing each breast. “No reason to hide when you’re the most gorgeous girl on this planet… or any planet, for that matter,” Joe cooed, alluding to his words from a couple of weeks ago.  He kissed down your jaw and neck, before peppering kisses to the valley between your breasts.
“Joe,” you whimpered as his tongue swirled around your nipple. Your hands went under his shirt and rubbed his soft skin. You watched as he detached from your boob, whipping his shirt off. He reached his hand down and pulled down your shorts, leaving you in nothing but your panties – which matched your bra.
He trailed his fingers down to your core, his eyes widening at how wet you were. “Damn, baby,” Joe smirked, his digits teasing your clothed entrance. “This wet and I’ve barely touched you.” Your body sizzled with anticipation as you watched Joe kiss down your belly until he reached your core. “Eyes on me, mamas,” Joe growled. You looked down just in time to see him drag the red lace down with his teeth. 
Fuck was that hot.
He licked a stripe up your folds, earning a whimper from you. Joe set a veiny hand on your thigh, keeping your legs open, as he slid his tongue inside you. Joe moaned against you when you threaded your fingers into his hair, grinding against his face.
Several minutes later, you felt the pressure in your belly building up, signaling that your release was close. “Joe,” you whimpered, “I- I’m-”
“Shh, I know, I’m here,” Joe smiled, adding a finger into you as his skilled mouth attached to your clit. You could've sworn that you were seeing stars. “Just let yourself feel good.”
“Mmm, Joe,” you moaned when he added another finger, extremely loud but you didn't seem to care because you felt so good. No other guy has ever made you feel this good. Physically or mentally. Joe was physically making you feel good with his fingers and mouth, but he was mentally making you feel good with his soft praise, comforting actions, and the way he was worshiping you. As your orgasm was getting closer and closer, you suddenly felt a gush of wetness down below you, followed by several moans from Joe.
“Oh my god-” you shrieked when the realization hit you. “Joe, I’m so sorry-”
“For what?” Joe interrupted, coming out from between your thighs, looking like a kid in a candy store. Your juices covered his mouth and chin, and a smirk danced across his lips. “Squirting?” he asked, wiping his chin with his fingers before bringing them up to his mouth to clean them off.
“I just… I don’t know,” you whispered, your cheeks turning beet red from embarrassment.
“Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. That was fucking hot,” Joe grinned. He leaned over top of you, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. “Taste yourself? You taste good, don't you?”
“Joe, I need you,” you whimpered, already ready for my action despite your intense high just a few moments ago.
“Whatever you need, baby,” Joe whispered into your ear before shoving his shorts and undies off. He gave himself a few pumps as he looked deeply into your eyes. “If I’m too rough, if you want me to stop, do something different, or anything, don’t hesitate to tell me. You’re safe with me.”
“You’re so…” you trailed off, looking at his cock. Guess they don’t call him “Big Dick Joe” for nothing.
“Yeah,” Joe chuckled, lining his tip up with your entrance, “but I promise I’ll go easy on you.”
“Fuck,” you whimpered as he pushed a couple inches into you, stopping when he noticed discomfort on your face. “Don’t stop,” you said when he did. Even though there was discomfort at first, it was quickly replaced by pleasure.
You both moaned out once he was fully settled. “You can move,” you reassured him before he set a slow pace, but quickly sped up when he got lost in the feel of you.
“You feel so good, Y/n,” Joe groaned, cupping the back of your leg and placing it on his shoulder, allowing him to go deeper. You felt like you were floating, but you needed more. “Joe,” you panted, “Fuck me- fuck me harder.” Joe’s eyes widened at your words, “Are- are you sure?”
“Fuck yes,” you whimpered as his relentless pace sped up even more. The tip of his cock was ramming into your cervix with each thrust.
A few minutes later, you felt yourself on the blink of release for the second time tonight. Joe knew you were close as your walls were rhythmically squeezing him. “Jesus,” Joe groaned, feeling him close to his own release, but tonight was about you. He needed you to feel good, so he, somehow, picked up the pace of his thrusts even more, sending you straight to heaven.
“Fuck, I’m- cumming,” you moaned as you felt the pressure in your belly build up once again. 
“Shit, Y/n,” Joe groaned, as he too was close.
“Joe!” you screamed as your high washed over you. Joe continued to fuck you through your orgasm, wanting you to feel good for as long as you could. Soon, you felt ropes of Joe’s hot cum seep into you, followed by his own moans of pleasure.
“Are- are you good?” Joe panted. You nodded, the euphoric high making you glow. Joe laid his head on your chest as the two of you tried to: one, catch your breaths, and two, wrap your minds around what had just happened.
A few moments later, Joe unwrapped himself from around you and headed into his bathroom, coming back a few minutes later with a towel to clean you up. He was extra gentle with you since he knew that you would be awfully sore.
“Thank you,” you smiled up at him as he threw the towel in the hamper. He crawled back into bed next to you before pulling you into him and kissing the crown of your head. “No need to thank me, it’s what you deserve.”
“I cannot believe-” you said
“Shh, we’ll talk about it in the morning,” Joe promised
“Goodnight, Joe,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his soft skin
“Goodnight, Y/n,” Joe smiled back, pulling you even closer to him.
End of flashback
“It was crazy hot, though,” Joe smirked, his gaze flickering down to your lips but he stopped himself when he remembered the talk you had the next morning.
Flashback to the morning after
“Goodmorning,” a raspy voice above you called as you opened your eyes.
“Morning, Joe,” you smiled, kissing his cheek, smiling even more when you noticed his flushed cheeks.
“Are you sore?” Joe asked, softly rubbing your back. His kindness, raging bedhead, and morning voice made you want to pounce on him.
“Yeah,” you winced, stretching, “I’ll be alright, though.”
“Well… let me just hold you for a bit, then I’ll make breakfast while you shower,” Joe smiled, which turned into a straight line when he remembered that you weren't his. “Unless… you don’t want to.”
“No, that sounds perfect,” you reassured, moving back into his arms. A few minutes of silence go by before you speak up. “Joe?”
“Hm,” Joe hummed, the thoughts in his head running wild. He was crazy about you, but you had been through so much lately.
“What does this mean for us?” you questioned, staring into his loving, blue eyes.
“You tell me,” Joe said, “I know what you’ve been through. I’ll wait for you.”
“Joe… I really like you. Like I really really like you,” you chuckled, “I just… need some time.”
“I’ll wait for you,” Joe repeated, “for as long as you need.”
“Joe, you don’t need to do that. Go out and live your life. If we’re meant to be, we’ll be when we’re both ready,” you soothed.
End of flashback
Joe did wait though. He’s been on one date in the last three months… one that he typically doesn't like to remember. Him and his date was back at her apartment and they were… getting down to business when he moaned your name. He couldn't get you out of his head. His date even looked like you; even if she wasn't you. She had your hair color, eye color, body build, but she wasn't you.
You, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about Joe either, but you were scared. Even though it's been three months, you feel like you’ll be getting over Jake your whole life. Your relationship with him was horrible, no doubt, but you loved him. Every time you’re with Joe, however, he makes that feeling go away. He heals that part of you without even meaning to. He makes your entire world go quiet.
It scares you how he makes you feel, it scares you for how fast you fell for him, it scares you that he doesn't even try to make you feel this way. You’ve always said that if you fall fast, then it can’t last. “Maybe I should give it a try,” you thought, looking at Joe’s smile as he watched the show.
One week later - Christmas Day in Athens, OH
“What are we doing here?” you asked, taking in the playground in front of you. The playground where you and Joe used to play as kids.
“Just… taking a trip down memory lane,” Joe smiled, guiding you to the swings by the small of your back.
After a long day in Joe’s childhood home with both sets of your parents, Joe insisted that he would take you somewhere before going home. “Here, let me push you,” Joe smiled. Endless giggles fell from your lips as you swung in the air.
“Okay, okay, stop,” you giggled after a minute. Joe grabbed your waist, slowing down the swing before stepping in front of you. “You’re so beautiful,” Joe smiled, looking down at you. The December moonlight casted on you, highlighting all of your features.
“Joe,” you spoke softly as you stood up and cupped his cold cheeks. “I love you. I love you so much, Joe. The way you treat me, the way you’re always there for me, the way you care for me. It used to scare me, but I realized you're it for me. And I’m sorry if I just made anything weird but I just had to tell you-”
Joe cut you off by smashing his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet, but also full of passion. It said so many words with just one action. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to say that to me. God, I love you so much, Y/n. That’s why I brought you here, I wanted to talk about us. Because I’m yours, Y/n. I’ve been yours since that night in the bar. I bought you this, by the way.”
Joe’s hand went into his pocket and dug out a black, rectangular box. He opened it to reveal a necklace, the necklace. You were the girl.
Flashback to the other day
“Okay, we’ve gotten everything for your parents, my parents, and each of our siblings,” Joe said, reading the list, “I’ve just gotta get this one thing.”
You and Joe were in the mall together, trying to go some last minute Christmas shopping. “What thing?” you asked.
“I wanna impress this girl, and I figured you would know what she would like,” Joe smiled, leading you into the jewelry store. Your heart dropped at Joe’s words, but why? You weren't his. You told him to live his life. 
End of flashback
You helped him pick out the necklace exactly how you would like it, without knowing it was for you. The only difference now was your initial on the necklace.
“You don’t need to impress me,” you smiled, as he put the silver necklace on you. “You do that enough by just existing.”
“I love you, you’re seriously the sweetest girl I’ve met in my life. You’re selfless, beautiful, incredibly sexy, compassionate, and caring. And that’s just a tiny percent of why I love you,” Joe beamed.
“I love you so much,” you smiled. “You are so hardworking, handsome, caring, a little bit of a dork… but you’re my dork.”
“I love you a million,” Joe grinned, pressing sweet kisses all over your face.
“I love you a billion,” you giggled.
“Let’s go home and get into some trouble, baby,” Joe teased, leading you back to the car.
“Okayyyy,” you laughed, but stopped dead in your tracks, “Wait. Does this make me your girlfriend?”
“Sure does, sweetheart,” Joe smiled
“Oh my god, you’re my boyfriend,” you gasped, “I wouldn't want it any other way though.”
“Me either,” Joe kissed you once again before opening the door for you and driving home.
For the first time, the two of you would be going home as a couple. You took a leap of faith to not let your anxiety control your relationship, and you’ve never been happier that you did.
You thought the plane was going down, but Joe somehow turned it all around.
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gguk-n · 22 hours
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if you still take requests would you like to write an oscar x reader where they got to know by a coincident and the reader knows absolutely nothing abt f1 and also not oscar so when he was like I drive for f1 she was like wtf should I do with that information??
She doesn’t like cars
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{Reader’s POV}
I met Oscar at a grocery store after I had moved to Monaco. The company I worked at were establishing a new branch here and wanted me to help smooth out the process. Who was I to say no to an opportunity of a life time? But being away from friends and family got very difficult when you enjoy being around people.
I only got the weekend off; so I had to make the best of the situation. I was grabbing milk at the grocery store when another hand grabbed the same carton. I looked at the tall, handsome man next to me; “I grabbed that first” I said. “Sorry” he quietly apologised and moved on. We kept running into each other in different isles and the more I stared at him and his toned thighs I found myself drooling. Well, it’s not everyday an attractive man keeps running into you. So, I did what any rational single woman would do and asked him out. To my surprise, he said yes. I doubt myself too much sometimes, I had thought.
We started going out on dates and spending time together. He was rich and had a pretty decent apartment he owned, from what I gathered. He must make quite a decent amount or he comes from money since he’s constantly away on what I assume are business trips over the weekends every few weeks. Did I ask what he did? No. Did he ask what I did? Not particularly. But I did give him my business card.
We were cuddling on one of these days while Oscar was raking his fingers through my hair; “You always help me feel normal” he whispered. “You make me feel rich” I giggled. “What’s mine’s yours babe” he retorted. “Sure, darling” I muttered. “I’ll be gone over the weekend, again” he said stopping his hand movement. “Again? Don’t you think your boss hates you or something with how much they make you go on trips or maybe they love you” I voiced my concern. Oscar laughed a deep laugh which sent vibrations through my body. “Baby, I know this year’s schedule has been a little more hectic with more races” he lamented. “What races?” I asked. “Formula One races” he replied quizzically. “What’s that?” I asked narrowing my eyes. “You don’t know?” He questioned. “Don’t make me feel stupid for not knowing” I whined.
Oscar sighed before speaking, “so, what you’re saying is all this time you had no clue that I was a Formula One driver?” he asked. “Do you test cars or something. I thought they had dummies for that” I quizzed. Oscar was now sat up an amused expression on his face. “No baby, I drive for McLaren” he explained. “Good for you?” I said slowly, I didn’t want him to feel bad about his job or the fact that I knew nothing about it. But since when did they pay test drivers so much?
Oscar started laughing, “that’s it. Take the weekend off. We’re going to Singapore” he announced. “Not this suddenly” I said. “It’s next week. We’ll fly together. Can’t have my girlfriend not knowing what I do for work” he announced kissing my lips.
My interest was piqued so I ended up googling Formula One. My jaw was on the floor when I realised that Oscar was one of the twenty drivers; he was crème de la crème when it came to motor sport. We’d been dating for a while and I knew nothing about what he did, no wonder he owned a place in Monaco; I couldn’t help but laugh. But in my defence my country isn’t huge on motor sports, so I’m sure Oscar can forgive me.
“You didn’t tell me you won 2 races” I announced after finishing dinner that day. “Oh! Did you google me?” He asked. “Nope, I google formula one and you were on top of the list for the previous race. Then I googled you” I explained. Oscar nodded. I sat down on Oscar’s lap, facing him. “Can’t believe you make so much money and let me pay for our meals” I said shaking my head. “That was one time and you insisted” Oscar explained. “Still” I whined. “Can’t wait to watch you win, people say you are really good” I smirked. “Yeah” he said. “Cocky much.” I laughed. “Maybe you can show me how good you are, now” I winked. “I can show you how good I am in everything” he smirked. “I love you, race winner Oscar Piastri” I said kissing him. “Love the ring of it. Gonna have to win more now” he whispered. “Can’t wait to watch you” I mumbled pulling him in for another kiss
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slut4menig · 2 days
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Guys my age
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Paring: Luke Castellan x Curvy AphroditeFem! reader
Req: hii can you please write a prompt in which Luke is 19 and reader is 16 and he thinks the age gap is too much as doesn’t see her as anything more than the kid he is counselling, but she’s an Aphrodite child so she doesn’t mind the chase, you can make it smut or not iyw!! also do you maybe mind making the reader like chubby/curvy? i love your work!! 🫶🫶 - 💜 Anon
ofc u can be!!! also omg i actually kinda hate this but whatever… hope u enjoy!
Warnings: MDNI, big age gap, cursing, drinking, use of smoking, reader implied to be curvy
Luke Castellan, a 19-year-old at the infamous Camp Half-Blood, stood tall and pretty almost like a loyal dog, and that made it near impossible for anyone to resist his charm, he’d had a go at almost all of the girls at camp half-blood, including all of my beautiful half sisters.
His unruly curly brown hair framed his handsome face, and deep brown eyes, which seemed to look straight into my soul whenever he gave me a task, even something as simple as asking to clean my dorm, held a hint of mystery. A small scar on his upper cheek added an intriguing touch to his otherwise perfect appearance. Luke is the epitome of a golden boy, capturing the hearts and attention of girls of all ages, young and old.
I’m only 16, luke had never dare even batted an eye at me last year but this year, I came back to camp, determined for a chance to stare into those beautiful eyes and have it mean something for him too. Since last year, i’d started to… well develop. My body had formed into a nicer shape, i certainly grew into myself. My chest was definitely a lot bigger, I started using normal bras, no more training ones. My thighs were thick and beautiful, something many men wished to be suffocated with.
“hey gorgeous girl, you’ve certainly grown up” My half sister Silene winked at me, I only ever see her at camp and I was packing my stuff into my bed. I rolled my eyes and huffed at her.
“Silene seriously? i haven’t seen you in a year and that’s the best you’ve got?” I immediately hug the girl as she chuckles quite a bit at my sharp tongue, we all start talking to our other half siblings and that’s when one of them goes
“hey y/n, you do realise you’re now technically old enough to be going to the bonfire party?” my half sister smirked
The bonfire party was tradition, 16 and up campers, it involved heavy amounts of marijuana, alcohol and other illegal shit. It was an excuse for people to get drunk and hook up and deeply regret it the next morning or so i’ve heard. It’s almost like a “back to school” party but instead it’s back to camp. It happens on the one night that Chiron is away and Mr D is in charge, of course, you bribe him with some alcohol and suddenly everyone’s happy.
“yeah uhh i’ll go, we should start getting ready then i guess?” i say, a bit on edge of what’s about to happen.
As i’m getting ready, i’m being handed a black lacy corset top showing off my double d tits extremely well, i look in the mirror and smirk, this is one of those times i KNOW i looks good. I wore a mini skirt along with it, sure i looked like a slut but hey? what can you do?
I enter the Bonfire, the glow of the fire casually illuminating my face in a perfect light. In hand was a red solo cup with… tequila and some other concoction i’ve been handed, i take a sip and spot him. Luke Castellan, my camp counsellor and the man I was practically already on my knees for. He made his way over to me and looked me in the eyes.
“Y/n? wow you look… grown up” His eyes clearly wandered around my tits a lot more than they should’ve, and he almost looked as if he scolded his self for looking but i wanted him to, this whole outfit was for him
“oh yeah? in what way?” i smirked and slightly tilted my head, trying to seduce the boy infront of me
He cleared his throat and came back to eye contact “You’re uh.. you’re taller” no i wasn’t, it was a blatant lie, i hadn’t grown an inch over the year, i knew what he was talking about and smiled to myself about it.
“Let’s play truth or dare!” Luke and I both turn our heads to a very drunken silene who’s perched up on the table, some guy with his arms wrapped around her waist and mouth colliding with her jaw.
And who was anyone to say no to my beautiful sister? Soon everyone found themselves sitting in this circle, bottles of Tequila, Vodka, Whiskey, Jäger and other liquors in the middle of the circle, ready to be there for whoever backed down from a dare.
“Clarisse, truth or dare” An Apollo girl slurred, looking into clarisses eyes from across rhe circle. Clarisse smirked and in return took a sip of her drink.
“Dare” It wasn’t surprising, her choosing dare.
“I dare you, to kiss me” the apollo girl smirked at clarisse, they obviously had tension and clarisse made her way over and kissed her, passionately i might add. The entire circle cheered and cheered.
Clarisse suddenly averted her gaze to me, we’d been friends for a while now whenever I hung out with silene she would be there.
“y/n, truth or dare?” I felt myself nervously stare at her, a group of maybe 25 people waiting on my reply to this one simple question she’d asked. It wasn’t that hard of a question so i gave a simple answer.
“Dare” I wanted to play it safe, truth was too much for me right now, I knew it would end up in me having to tell a huge secret and I just wanted a casual night, nothing too crazy, which was why i was baffled as to what came out of Clarisses mouth next.
“I dare you to spend 7 minutes of heaven with the person you think is the hottest, and don’t try bullshit your way out of this lovebug” Clarisse was obviously feeling happy with herself, she was tipsy as one could be. Actually no, she was just shitfaced.
I felt my body begin to grow weak and i scanned my eyes across the room, except i found one thing. No matter how hard I looked around the room, my eyes were always drawn back to Luke castellan. The man himself.
“uhh luke…” I said, everyone cheered and Luke looked at me a bit confused as to why I’d chosen him. Nevertheless we walked into a secluded spot in the woods.
“Y/n I uh… why’d you pick me?” Luke looked at me as he leaned against a tree and i stood there looking up at him
“why not, they said to pick the hottest person there” I shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant.
“You do realise you’re far too young for me, sweetheart?” Luke muttered at me in a deepish voice.
“I know but what did three years ever do to anyone?” I smirked, it was time for me to use the powers my mother gave me and capture this boys beautiful heart.
“Y/n i- i was- no! still am, your camp counsellor, you don’t think this is a little weird? you coming onto me.. I mean, you’re hot but” Luke said conflicted with his own thoughts at this point.
“Oh would you shut up castellan I saw you looking at my tits earlier, don’t act like you’re surprised i’m coming onto you” I smirked at him, giving him doe eyes and fluttering my lashes
“you’re such a brat, you know that? you need to shut up, it will get you killed someday, that pretty mouth of yours” Luke furrowed his brows and almost scolded me
“how about you make me shut up?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered this seductively into his ear.
“oh I can think of a few ways” Suddenly I felt Luke’s warm tongue slip into my mouth, his deep kiss sending sparks to my pussy.
he pushes me against a tree, his hands roaming over my body possessively. “Fuck, you're so young and pretty, tell me, you ever fucked anyone?” Luke continued to say as he slipped his hands to the back bit of my corset top
“n-no, i’m all yours” i managed to breathe out, goosebumps trailing over my body from his cold hands unclasing my top.
His hands reach under my bra, feeling my soft skin. He leans in, kissing my neck, my collarbone, as his hands grope my breasts. His hot breath against my skin sends shivers down my spine. “that’s perfect pretty girl, let me take care of you okay?” luke then continued to kiss my forehead and unclasp my bra
He looks up at me, his eyes filled with desire. "You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now," he says, his voice low and husky. He starts to slip his hand up my mini skirt, his hands shaking slightly. “I bet your pussy is so tight and wet...”
i groan at his words, whimpering at the boys touch. “I- do it…”
“I can’t, I can’t ruin something as perfectly innocent as you” Luke looked at me in the eyes, piercing me with his gaze
“i’m less innocent than you think you know” I trailed my hands to unbutton his jeans and i watch his eyes widen
“what did you lie on your book log in elementary school?” he chuckled trying to distract himself from his hard on being revealed
“yknow i hump my pillow most nights wishing it was your dick” i whispered in his ear, i could feel the head flush on his face as his erection was poking into my thigh.
“fuck… pretty girl… that’s so hot, i wanna fuck you senseless, show you what a man is” he collided his lips to my collarbone and sloppily kissed it, his hands making his way to my soaked panties, rubbing it through them
“all soaked for me, pretty?” he looked up at me as i nodded, biting my lip to hold back a moan. I felt him slide my underwear off and crouch down, i felt the warmth of his hot breath against my sticky wet pussy, his tongue beginning to lap it, finding my clit and sucking on it with a pop.
I became a moaning mess, begging for mercy and for luke to continue fucking my hole with his tongue just the way he did. “mmmph~”
His hands spread my thighs wider apart as his mouth works its magic. His tongue swirls around my wet, throbbing flesh, sucking and licking with expertise. I can't help but moan loudly, my fingers tangling in his hair to pull him even closer. “Luke... please...”
He can feel my body shaking with need as he continues to eat me out, his own arousal growing with each moan that escapes my lips. He sucks my clit hard, his fingers sliding inside me, curves up to rub against my G-spot. “Come for me, baby...”
His fingers pump in and out of me in a rhythm that matches his tongue on my swollen bud. The sensations overwhelm me, and I dig my heels into his back, shamelessly bucking against his face as I shatter, screaming out his name. “Luke...Luke...”
As I reach my peak, something inside me breaks. I convulse hard, and suddenly, a rush of liquid gushes out of me, drenching Luke's face. He moans approvingly, lapping up every drop like a thirsty man.
I become red from embarrassment and stare at the man in horror.. “oh my god luke did i- did i just pee on you?” Luke did nothing but grin at me, his wet face glistening in the moonlight
“No baby, it’s called squirting and it was the hottest thing ever” he grabbed my hands away from my face
After cleaning me up with his tongue, Luke gently lifts my legs over his shoulders, positioning himself at my entrance. He looks into my eyes, his own filled with a mix of desire and tenderness. “Okay, beautiful girl, this is going to hurt, but I'll be gentle”
I look up at him, tears welling in my eyes. He smiles softly, "Good girl. It'll start feeling good soon, I promise." He leans down to kiss me, his hips pulling back slightly before pushing in again, deeper this time.
As he continues to move in and out of me, his pace picking up slightly, Luke leans down to take one of my hardened nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. His thumb finds my swollen bud, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. "Luke... oh god, Luke..."
I cry out as my orgasm hits, my vision blurring, my body trembling. Luke doesn't stop, fucking me through my climax, his own need evident in his face. "Fuck, pretty girl, you're so fucking tight right now. I can feel your little pussy squeezing me."
As he thrusts into me, his pace becomes erratic, his breathing heavy. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Y/n. I don't know where to put it all," he groans, his eyes wild with need. "Where do you want it, huh?"
I gave Luke those oh so beautifully innocent doe eyes he’s currently corrupting, i batter my eyelashes and whimper as i speak
“I want you to do it inside of me luke” Luke’s eyes widen at the prospect but doesn’t have time and gives in.
“You’re lucky i can’t say no to those beautiful eyes of yours baby” With a low growl, Luke buries his face in my neck, his body convulsing as he spills inside me. He jerks his hips against me several times, unloading more and more of his warmth into my inexperienced core. "Oh gods."
He pulls out and we both lay there breathlessly.
“that was a lot more than 7 minutes…” i whisper sheepishly as i catch my breath and put my clothes on
“i’m sorry i had to be your first time… you do know we can’t be together right? i mean you should really be with a guy your age?” Luke refused to look in my eyes as he slipped his boxers on
“but guys my age aren’t… you”
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buttercupjosh · 2 days
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The Perfect Proposal (the 4 times you expected that Mat was going to propose + the 1 time he actually did)
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(Gif credit to @mattymartin)
word count: 1,968
genres: established relationship, fluff, self-insert
warnings: none
A/N: This story is based off of the song “Joy of My Life” by Chris Stapleton and I make references to this song throughout the story. I highly recommend listening to this song before reading my story. This story is short, sweet and fluffy. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this upcoming season or even a past season). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. This is not a sequel to Your Favorite Secret (which you can still read and check out and if you want this to be a sequel to that, you can interpret it that way). As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌
(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)
“Someday it will come right on cue.” -Somewhere Love Is Waiting for You from the Schmigadoon TV series soundtrack
Prologue
Meeting Mat changed your life in the best way possible. You took Mat’s breath away when you met up for your very first date and since then, you continued to take his breath away in small doses every time you saw him. He added so much goodness and love into your life and you did the same for him. Mat felt so grateful to have you in his life and even though he made millions, being with you was his greatest treasure. You and Mat deeply appreciated each and every moment you had together, no matter how big or small it was; the two years that you had been together so far were some of your greatest times. You were both so smitten that you always looked at each other with such deep love and devotion and couldn’t get enough of your significant other’s presence. For a while, Mat knew that he wanted to propose to you but he just needed to figure out the best way how to and time when to ask that all-important question.
————————————————————
It finally happened. After 3 challenging years, you finally completed law school and earned your Juris Doctor degree from NYU. All of your friends and family came into town to celebrate your accomplishment. In order to accommodate everyone, Mat graciously rented a large AirBnb house in the Hamptons to host your graduation party. You handled some aspects of the party planning while Mat handled the rest and the party went very well. During the congratulations portion of the evening, Mat wanted to give a quick remark to acknowledge your achievement.
“For the past 2 years, I watched this wonderful person ambitiously work their way through law school. There were a lot of late nights, early mornings and so many case reviews and vocabulary study sessions that I think I could go get a law degree. Y/N, to say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. My love, you are so amazing and you did it. I love you so much. Because I love you so much, I have a surprise for you.” Mat spoke.
This moment seemed like it was the right time for Mat to ask for your hand in marriage; you had been dating for a while, you lived together and blended your families together, and he had just finished a great speech that made all of the party’s attendees realize how much he was in love with you. Instead, Mat handed you an envelope. Inside the envelope was a copy of a check for the exact amount that you owed in student loans and a letter informing you that your loans were fully paid off. You couldn’t believe what was happening and began to cry.
“How did you do this?”, you mustered out through your tears of joy.
“So you know how you gave me access to your book of important information in case anything happened to you? Well, I asked Liana to call the loan office to pretend to be you and ask for your account balance”, Mat cheesily revealed.
Mat saw firsthand how much distress and frustration law school caused you so he wanted to help out someone he deeply loved by eliminating the stress of having to pay for a student loan; this surprise was better than an engagement ring.
————————————————————
After your graduation party and after the Islanders were eliminated from playoffs, it was the official start of the off-season. This year, it was a milestone birthday for Mat’s dad so the Barzal family decided to do a European summer vacation to celebrate. You were important enough to their family that you had been invited and Liana, Mat’s sister, also invited her best friend to accompany her on the trip.
Hand-in-hand with the man you considered to be the love of your life and his family, for 3 weeks, you explored England, France, Monaco, and Mat’s ancestral homeland of Italy. In England, you indulged in English culture while Mat hilariously attempted a British accent. In France, you shared plenty of kisses with your lover in the City of Love, swooning every time Mat spoke French. In Monaco, you and Mat felt like the protagonists of a spy thriller while hanging out in the city.
Once you arrived in Italy, you got to see a different side of Mat that rarely came out. He had been to Italy several times before but he was thrilled to share all that he knew about that special place with you. Mat glowed differently whenever you got authentic gelato together or when he swam in the waters along the Amalfi Coast. Of course, throughout the trip, you still spent plenty of time with Mat’s parents, sister, and her friend and attended a lovely birthday dinner on a boat for Mat’s dad while visiting Sicily.
On the plane ride traveling back to Canada after your whirlwind European tour, you thought to yourself that you were going to come back to North America with a new jewelry addition to your left hand; you did have a lot of date nights and one-on-one time with Mat on the trip. However, your wonderful boyfriend did get you a gorgeous Cartier love bracelet from the official store in Paris and you were returning back with the gift of good memories that were created with your future in-laws.
————————————————————
The remainder of the off-season went by so quickly; between weddings, summer holidays, and other events all happening, you and Mat were swept in so many different directions. Time flies when you’re having fun and soon, it was already time to return to Long Island for the hockey season.
The usual ups, downs, and chaos of the hockey season lingered in your household but you navigated through it together. As the season went on, you spent a lot of time studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and Universal Bar Exam, which allowed you to become eligible to be admitted to the New York State Bar next year. Even though you had those responsibilities, you still supported Mat at most of his home games. One of the things about Mat that you loved was how he would always quietly tiptoe into your shared home after a late game but he loved how you always waited up for him to come home after every game, regardless of what time he returned. Before you both knew it, the year was winding down and it was almost Christmas time. You and Mat had decided to host Christmas this year and both of your families were coming. This wasn’t the first time that both of your families had been together to celebrate an occasion; they were there all together for your law school graduation earlier in the year and both sides enjoyed being together as one cohesive unit but for some reason, things felt different to you this holiday season.
You spent hours preparing and making sure that everything was right for the arrival of your guests. Christmas came and went wonderfully. It was so nice to have your families together during the holidays. You gifted Mat a new game day tie and a gift card to one of his favorite road restaurants; Mat got you a nice bag to carry all of your work things and a personalized padfolio for you to take all of your legal notes in.
Yes, you were secretly expecting a diamond underneath the tree this year but it was okay because you still got other great gifts as well. Despite wanting something else, you still deeply cherished the time you got to spend with your loved ones.
————————————————————
After the holidays were over, you and Mat settled back into your respective routines until it was All-Star Break. Mat was not chosen for the All-Star Game that year and some of the Islanders players and families decided to go to the Bahamas for their team All-Star Break trip. The time away gave you and Mat both some essential rest and relaxation. At the end of February, you were scheduled to take the Universal Bar Exam but you took a break from studying to enjoy your mini-vacation. You stayed with your lover and company at a phenomenal resort; you swam with dolphins, relaxed at the spa, and ate so much tasty food. You also enjoyed lots of group activities with Mat and his teammates and their respective significant others. During the trip, one of Mat’s best friends’, Anthony, and his long-term girlfriend, Emma got engaged. It stung a little to see someone else reach the relationship milestone you deeply desired to share with Mat and you had expected that it was going to be you and your lover’s turn to share that special romantic moment on this trip, however, you were happy for your friends.
————————————————————
One evening, you came home from a long, exhausting day of work. After passing both the Universal Bar Exam and Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and completing some other requirements, you were admitted to the New York State Bar last month and got a job as a junior attorney. It was a pleasant surprise to see Mat cooking; he was subtly singing in the kitchen and tenderly caring for some handmade pasta. You couldn’t quite make out what song Mat was singing but it didn’t matter what it was because you had caught him singing songs that you’ve played around the house and pop songs from the radio plenty of times before. You smiled to yourself as watched him in his element before slipping away for a much-needed shower.
After you came out of the shower and changed, there was a beautiful plate of pasta waiting for you on the table. Mat tapped deep into his Italian heritage and made a delectable dinner for the two of you. You shared with Mat the details of work and although, he may not quite fully understand everything you were expressing your feelings about, he still listened to you as you rambled on. After dinner concluded, you and Mat were going to share a box of bakery cannolis and watch a movie on the couch but Mat told you to wait at the table and suddenly got up. He returned to the room with a look of nervousness on his face. You asked Mat if he was okay but you could tell that he had something important to say.
“I’ve been holding onto this ring for a while. There were so many other times that I wanted to ask but there’s just something that feels so right about this moment. Sitting here, I realized something very important. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you dinner when I can and listening to you speak. I want to continue to come home from my games to you and wake up next to you. I have the greatest honor of knowing and loving you. You have the sweetest heart that’s made of gold and you are like an angel brought down to Earth from Heaven. I want to be by your side forever. Y/N, you are the joy of my life. Will you marry me?” Mat declared while holding out the engagement ring of your dreams in a Tiffany blue box.
You were speechless because Mat was right; this was the perfect moment. You looked straight into Mat’s green eyes that you admired so dearly and accepted his marriage proposal; you were both super excited to embark on this new journey in your relationship. You and Mat swayed with each other to the sound of your fiance’s voice, serenading you to “Joy Of My Life” by Chris Stapleton, the same song Mat was singing to himself earlier. Patience was an important virtue and all of that waiting paid off at the right time.
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ninjatrashpanda · 2 days
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Home (Home is wherever I'm with You)
Written for @bucktommypositivityweek Round Two. Day Seven: "Predict the Future." Read on AO3 here.
“Oh yeah,” Buck exclaimed, handing another freshly washed plate to Tommy to dry. Evenings like this one were becoming more and more common. Buck and Tommy would meet up at Tommy’s house or Buck’s loft after their shifts, cook and eat dinner together, do the dishes together, and then settle down on the couch for a movie Tommy wanted to see, or a documentary to fuel Buck’s latest hyperfixation before heading to bed, either for a round of ‘Was I a good boy, Daddy?’ or to just sleep, depending on how tired they were after work. “My lease runs out in three months. Remind me that I have to talk to my landlord about a new one.”
Tommy nodded, putting the now dry plate on top of the stack next to him. “I can remind you, but have you thought about maybe… I don’t know… not renewing it?” His tone was casual, as it usually was, but Buck could tell that he was nervous from the way the blue of his eyes seemed to waver. For all that Tommy knew how to mask his facial expressions, Buck had quickly learned that his eyes had the tendency to betray him as long as you knew what to look for.
Buck let out a small chuckle, reaching for another plate, one of his eyebrows rising in confusion. “Not renewing?” he echoed, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “And what? Move into the station full time?”
Tommy laughed, shaking his head. “Not quite what I had in mind. I was thinking more… you know, here. At my place.”
An odd sense of quiet spread through the room for a moment, despite the soft clinking of silverware and the gentle hum of the dishwasher running behind them. It wasn’t an out-of-the-blue proposal, not really. In fact, Buck figured, they’d been tiptoeing around it for weeks, maybe months. Their evenings together were less about convenience and more about the deep comfort they’d found in each other’s company, the quiet routines they’d built together. On nights when their shifts kept them apart, Buck deeply missed and outright craved Tommy, and not just in the sexual sense either. He’d realized a while ago that he really didn’t want to be apart from his boyfriend for any extended amount of time.
“You… You want me to move in with you?”
Tommy stopped drying for a second, focusing on folding the towel in his hands to avoid meeting Buck’s eyes. “Yeah, I do. I mean, we’re here all the time anyway, right? You’ve got a drawer, you’ve got space in the closet, half your stuff’s already in the bathroom. It just makes sense. Plus…" He finally looked up, his expression softening. “I like having you around, Evan. It feels… good. Natural.”
Buck didn’t respond immediately. He reached for the next dish, but instead of handing it over, he stared at the water droplets sliding down the ceramic, his mind working through the unspoken implications. He wasn’t scared, exactly. Living with Tommy had an appeal, a strong one, but it also carried weight. The last time he moved in with a partner had been an absolute disaster (and Buck was mature enough to acknowledge that it wasn’t fully or even mostly on Taylor either) and he really, really didn’t want his relationship with Tommy to go down the same path.
He finally spoke, voice steady but thoughtful. “I like being here with you too, Tommy, of course I do, I love you. It’s just… moving in, it’s a big step. You sure we’re ready for that?”
Tommy’s lips pressed together as he kept playing with his towel, his lower lip caught between his teeth. He didn’t want to push, and Buck knew and appreciated that. This wasn’t about trying to goad Buck into doing something he wasn’t ready for; it was about opening a door that, deep down, he already knew they both wanted to walk through.
“I get that it’s a big step,” Tommy finally said, his voice a touch softer, though still carrying that cadance of sincerity that Buck had become so familiar with. “I’m not trying to pressure you or make you feel like we have to do this now. But I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and… honestly, I’m ready if you are.” His eyes met Buck’s, unwavering, calm but warm, and full of love. “No rush, no pressure. Just… think about it.”
Buck let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, running a hand through his damp curls. There was a knot in his chest that he hadn’t quite figured out how to untangle, a mix of excitement, anxiety, and an old, familiar fear of things falling apart when they seemed to be going too well.
“I do love being here,” Buck admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it too loudly might somehow jinx what they had. “And you’re right. Half my stuff’s already here. I just…” He paused, words getting caught somewhere between his heart and his throat. “I guess I’m scared, you know? Last time I moved in with someone, I made a whole bunch of mistakes. It was a bad idea, and we rushed into things and it got… messy.”
Tommy nodded, leaning against the counter, his fingers still absently twisting the towel. “I know what happened with Taylor wasn’t easy, Evan. But that was different. You were different. And I’m not her.” He took a step closer, closing the space between them, his hand finding Buck’s in the soapy sink. The warmth of Tommy’s touch grounded him, and for a second, the room felt smaller, quieter. More intimate.
“You’re not,” Buck agreed, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the back of Tommy’s hand. “And I don’t want to compare what we have to that. I just… I want to make sure we’re doing this for the right reasons. Not because it’s convenient or comfortable, but because it’s what we both really want.”
Tommy tilted his head slightly, his eyes searching Buck’s face as if trying to read the thoughts that Buck was too afraid to say out loud. “If you need to think about it, that’s okay. You know I’m not gonna hold it against you, right?”
Buck let out a small sigh, feeling the weight of Tommy’s words settle over him. He knew Tommy meant every word. There was no hidden agenda, no underlying expectation. He was simply being honest about what he wanted, but ready to let it go if Buck didn’t. And Buck knew that should he say no, Tommy would be disappointed, but nothing would change between them. Tommy would know that Buck declining now wasn’t a never, just a not at this point. And that was what made this relationship so different from all the others. It wasn’t built on fleeting passion or some burning need to be wanted. It was steady, patient, and real.
“I know,” Buck said, his voice a little more solid this time. He turned to look at Tommy, really look at him. The man who had somehow woven himself into the fabric of Buck’s everyday life without either of them really noticing it happening. Tommy was everything Buck never thought he needed. Calm where Buck was impulsive, thoughtful where Buck was driven by instinct. It made Buck feel safer than he had in a long time.
Tommy smiled, a soft, understanding curve of his lips. “There’s no rush, baby,” he said again, letting his hand squeeze Buck’s gently before releasing it and taking the next dish. “We can talk about it whenever you’re ready. Or not talk about it. Whatever works.”
*
“So, what’s bugging you?” Bobby asked as he threw Buck’s apron over to him. They’d just gotten back to the station after a minor fender bender (three mild injuries, no deaths) and after sending everyone off to do their chores, he had quickly roped Buck into making dinner with him. Buck should have known it was a set-up.
“Wow, okay,” he said, grabbing an onion to dice for the bolognese recipe Tommy had gotten from his Nonna, a recipe both Bobby and Buck had gotten obsessed with mastering. “Not even gonna try to butter me up first, huh?”
Bobby chuckled as he started chopping the garlic, his hands moving with the kind of ease that came from years of cooking for the station. “We both know I’m not great at subtlety,” he said, glancing up at Buck with a pointed look. “Besides, I can tell something’s been on your mind. Figured I’d cut to the chase.”
Buck sighed, shaking his head slightly as he focused on the onion in front of him. The sharp smell of it hit him as soon as he sliced into it, and the familiar sting of onion-tears started piecing his eyes. He really should’ve known Bobby would catch on. If not him, who?
“I don’t know, Cap,” Buck said, his voice softer than usual. “It’s kinda dumb, really. I’ve just been... thinking. A lot.”
Bobby didn’t respond right away, just kept working at the garlic, letting Buck find his way to whatever he needed to say. Buck appreciated it. He hated being pushed to answer, and it always made him feel like he had to justify himself for feeling things. Bobby leaving him air to breathe and sort his thoughts, even if he was a little embarrassed that Bobby could read him so readily.
Buck did appreciate it. But it did also make him squirm.
“You know you’re allowed to think about things,” Bobby said after a moment, keeping his tone light. “But sometimes you get stuck in your head, Buck. And I’m not sure that’s where you want to be right now.”
Buck dropped the knife on the cutting board with a sigh, the rhythmic chop-chop of onions halting as he wiped his hands on his apron. “It’s not that,” he muttered, staring down at the half-diced onion, almost willing it to give him answers.
“So what is it?”
Buck looked up, meeting Bobby’s eyes for the first time since the conversation had started. He could feel the weight of Bobby’s concern, genuine and steady, like the man was always a step ahead, trying to make sure everyone around him was okay.
He swallowed hard, trying to find the words. “Tommy asked me to move in with him, and I’m scared.”
Bobby raised an eyebrow, pausing his garlic chopping for a second before setting the knife down. “Scared?” His tone was gentle, but Buck could sense the surprise there. “Of moving in with Tommy, or… something else?”
Buck let out a long breath, the air thick with the smell of onions and garlic now, the comforting scents of a familiar meal that should have helped ease his tension but only seemed to magnify the knot twisting in his stomach. He looked down at the onion, pushing it around the board with the edge of his knife. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but it was like they didn’t want to come out. Talking about feelings was never easy for him, especially not the deep, vulnerable ones. But this… this was Bobby. The man who had been there through the worst and somehow still saw him, still believed in him.
“I don’t know,” Buck finally said, the words coming out in a rush, like if he didn’t say them now, they’d never come. “I’m not really scared of moving in, I’m scared of messing it all up like I did with Taylor.”
Bobby gave a small nod and a hum, his expression one of calm realization. He turned and resumed chopping the garlic, the steady sound of the knife hitting the cutting board filling the silence between them. Buck appreciated the way Bobby let the quiet hang, giving him the space to work through his tangled thoughts.
“I know I shouldn’t compare the two,” Buck said, frustration creeping into his voice. He resumed dicing the onion, his movements a little too quick, the sharp knife clattering against the board. “Tommy’s not Taylor and I’m not the same Buck that I was back then, but it’s like I can’t help it. Every time I think about taking the next step with him, my mind goes back to everything I did wrong with Taylor. How I thought I could make it work, despite everything, and then… well, you know how that went.”
Bobby set down his knife again, wiping his hands on a towel as he turned to fully face Buck. His gaze was steady, not judgmental, just patient. “Buck, you can’t beat yourself up over past mistakes forever. You’ve learned from them. That’s what matters.”
Buck frowned, his hands stilling for a moment as he considered Bobby’s words. “Yeah, but what if I haven’t learned enough? What if I mess this up too? Tommy… he’s important to me. Like, really important. I think he could be it, you know? And the last thing I want to do is hurt him or make things awkward between us.”
Bobby gave a small nod, leaning back against the counter as he crossed his arms. “I get that, Buck. Believe me, I do. But relationships aren’t about never making mistakes. They’re about being willing to learn and grow together. From what I’ve seen, you and Tommy are already doing that.”
Buck stared at the sloppy onion dices in front of him, the smell still sharp, mixing with the garlic Bobby had finished. “What if I can’t handle the pressure? I mean, living together is a big deal. I’m just not sure I’m ready.”
Bobby smiled faintly, a hint of warmth in his eyes as he watched Buck. “Do you want to be ready, though?”
Buck blinked. The question caught him off guard. It wasn’t something he had considered, at least not in those terms. Did he want to be ready? Of course he did, didn’t he? But then again, that was part of the problem. He wanted to be perfect, to have it all figured out before he took the leap. The thought of messing up, of failing, of somehow destroying what he and Tommy had, gnawed at him.
“I do,” Buck sighed, his voice quieter now, more thoughtful. “I just don’t want to screw this up, Bobby. I’ve done that too many times already. What if I’m just not meant for this? What if...”
Bobby held up a hand, stopping him gently but firmly. “Buck, stop.” He shook his head slightly, his tone soft but unwavering. “You’re not broken. You’ve been through a lot, and yeah, you’ve made mistakes. We all have. But that doesn’t mean you’re destined to keep repeating them.”
Buck felt a lump form in his throat. He hated how accurate Bobby’s assessment of him was. How often had he thought like that about himself? That he was somehow defective, doomed to fail at every relationship he tried to make work? It was like a heavy weight tied around his neck, one that seemed to make it harder and harder to keep his head up.
Bobby’s eyes softened as he kept speaking, his voice filled with that steady, reassuring calm Buck had come to rely on. “You’re allowed to be scared, Buck. It means this matters to you. But don’t let that fear keep you from something good. You and Tommy… you’ve got something worth fighting for. And from what I’ve seen, you’re both willing to put in the work.”
Buck swallowed, his eyes burning a little, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the onion or the sudden rush of emotions coursing through his body. He wiped his hands on his apron again, more out of habit than necessity. “I guess I’m just scared I’ll let him down,” he admitted quietly. Bobby had done it once again. He had peeled back every single one of Buck’s worries and doubts and had nailed exactly what the source of his issues was. “He deserves someone who’s... not a mess.”
Bobby shook his head, stepping closer and resting a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Buck, you’re not a mess. You’re human. And Tommy knows that. You two are building something together, and that’s not something that happens overnight. It takes time, effort, and yeah, sometimes it takes stumbling a little along the way. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of it.”
Buck looked up at Bobby, his throat tight, the knot in his stomach loosening just a little as he heard the words. He knew Bobby meant them. He could see it in his eyes, could hear it in his voice.
“Do you think I can do this?” Buck asked, his voice almost a whisper now.
Bobby’s smile was small but full of warmth. “I think you already are. You’re asking the right questions, thinking about it the way you should. You care enough to want to get it right. That’s what matters.”
Buck nodded slowly, feeling a little of the tension start to melt away. Bobby’s words had a way of doing that, of making things seem less impossible, less overwhelming. Maybe he didn’t have it all figured out yet, but maybe he didn’t need to. Maybe just wanting to do better, wanting to be there for Tommy, was enough for now.
“Thanks, Cap,” Buck said, his voice steadier now. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”
Bobby gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before stepping back to the cutting board, picking up his knife and getting back to the garlic. “Anytime, Buck. And hey, when you move in with Tommy, don’t forget to keep practicing this bolognese. I’m counting on you to help me perfect it.”
Buck laughed, a real, genuine laugh that he hadn’t realized he needed. He picked up his knife again, the rhythm of chopping the onion coming more easily now, less frantic. “Deal. But only if you let me make the garlic bread.”
“Done,” Bobby said with a grin. “Now, let’s finish this before everyone starts complaining about being hungry.”
*
“This is the last one,” Tommy called, carrying a box down the stairs to Buck’s former bedroom. Buck, waiting at the base with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and his suitcase by his side. “You had a lot less stuff than I expected, baby.”
Buck smiled, though it didn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah, it’s… I never really needed much, you know?”
It was true. Buck had, for all intents and purposes, been kind of a minimalist with the loft. He lived at the station half the time anyway, so he had never really tried to accessorize or anything. A few pictures of himself and his family, from Maddie and Bobby to Christopher and Jee-Yun were about the only things that he figured mattered. He loved his family, and being surrounded by them, even if it was only through photographs, always made him feel better.
“You okay?” Tommy asked, putting the box to the ground. And that… was a loaded question. Yes, Buck was okay, technically. He wanted this. He wanted to move in with Tommy, was okay with letting the loft go.
But this had still been his home for the last six years of his life. It was still the end of an era.
“Just… feeling a little nostalgic is all.”
Tommy nodded, an understanding smile making its way to his face. “Makes sense,” he said quietly, running his hand through his messy curls as he leaned against the doorframe. “You’ve been through a lot in this place.”
Buck sighed, his eyes drifting around the room, taking in the bare walls, the empty bookshelves, the absence of the things that had once made this place feel like his. There was a time when this loft had been a refuge, a place to heal after he had hit rock bottom more than once. He’d been here after the ladder truck had crushed his leg, after the tsunami, after the lightning strike. His relationships with Ali and Taylor and Natalia had ended here. He had spent weeks in here all alone when he had filed the lawsuit that had almost destroyed his relationships with the people that mattered most to him.
“Yeah,” he finally said, his voice soft. “A lot happened here.”
And yet, it had also been a sanctuary, a place of endless laughter, and some of the best parts of his life. Getting this place had made him feel like an adult for the first time in his life. He had felt independent in a way not even traveling across the country on his own had made him feel. He and Eddie had made up after the lawsuit in here, he and Christopher had spent countless hours pummeling each other in fighting games, he’d first seen Jee-Yun crawl in here when she had made her way from the door to the couch. He had even delivered his Conner and Kameron’s child in here.
Tommy and him had shared their first kiss here.
Tommy watched him carefully, his eyes twinkling with fondness. “You don’t have to let it all go, you know,” he said, voice gentle. “You can take the memories with you.”
Buck smiled at that, the kind of smile that cracked through the melancholy even though it still didn’t quite fill out his face. “I know. It’s just… this place has seen every part of me, you know? The mess, the mistakes, the times I got back up again. It’s hard to leave that behind.”
“I get it,” Tommy murmured, stepping closer, his hand brushing lightly against Buck’s arm. “And it’s normal. Leaving your old home for a new one is always hard.”
Buck’s gaze softened as he looked at Tommy, grateful for the way he understood, the way he just… got it. That was one of the things that had made Buck fall for him in the first place. Tommy knew how to be present, how to listen without forcing an answer or solution.
“Moving in with you,” Buck said, looking down at the duffel bag and then back at the empty space around him, “it feels right. I just didn’t expect it to feel this… complicated too.”
Tommy chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss Buck’s temple, his arm moving around Buck’s shoulders. “Change always is. Even the good ones. But look, we don’t have to rush anything. If you need more time, I—”
“No,” Buck interrupted, though his tone was gentle. “I’m ready. I really am. I want this—us.” He turned to pull Tommy into a slow, soft kiss, resting his forehead against Tommy’s. “I think I just need a second to say goodbye to this place, you know?”
Tommy squeezed his hand, a warm smile lighting up his face. “Take all the time you need.”
Buck turned back toward the loft, his heart heavy but steady, while Tommy went to grab the box and stand in the doorway. Buck walked slowly around the room, letting his fingers graze the walls, each touch bringing back fragments of the life he’d lived here. The first time he’d stood in the kitchen, fresh from a shift, feeling like he was finally becoming the man he wanted to be. The nights he’d stayed awake, trying not to let his loneliness get to him, wondering if he’d ever be enough for anyone. The day Maddie had come home after getting treated for her PPD. The moment Eddie had told him that Chris thought of him as a hero, a title Buck never felt like he deserved but wore like armor anyway.
He stepped out onto the balcony, the Los Angeles skyline glowing with the soft hues of the setting sun. The view had always been one of his favorite parts of this place. It reminded him that, no matter how chaotic life got, the world kept turning, kept moving. And so did he.
With a deep breath, Buck finally allowed t’he tears that had built behind his lids to flow free, feeling the weight of six years lift from his shoulders. This place had been his sanctuary, his shelter. But now, he realized, it had also been his cocoon. It had kept him safe while he grew, while he healed. But he wasn’t the same man who had first walked through that door all those years ago. He was ready to spread his wings and step into something new.
Something with Tommy.
He stepped back in, his heart full but at peace, and caught Tommy’s eye. “I think I’m good now,” he said softly, smiling—a real, genuine smile this time.
Tommy grinned, his eyes twinkling with that infectious warmth that had always made Buck feel grounded. “Good. Because I was starting to think I’d have to carry all your boxes back up.”
Buck laughed, the sound light and free, cutting through the bittersweet air. “You’re hilarious. But no, I won’t strain your back like that, old man.”
“Oh, okay. I see how it is!” Tommy shot back, his expression playful as Buck picked up his suitcase and duffel bag. “Come on, let’s get out of here before you change your mind.”
Tommy grabbed the last box, and together, they headed for the door. Just before stepping through, Buck paused one last time, looking back over his shoulder at the loft. He let the memories settle in his mind, like pictures into a photo album.
“Goodbye,” he whispered, not to the loft itself, but to the man he used to be inside it. Then, he turned to join Tommy in the hallway. “Let’s go home.”
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fastboatsmojito · 1 day
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It’s my birthday today! I’m turning 22 and I’m scared… can I get a Scott writing please 🥺 to make me feel better, I love your writing 💕
Omg happy birthday !!!!! of course <33
Red velvet - Scott Miller x reader <3
| a/n; Scott is not a birthday party kinda guy to me but he is good at planning things so he’ll just have to suck it up :p + I hope you have a lovely birthday dearest!!! 🫶🏼
| wc; 673
| cw; mostly fluff, slightly sweeter than usual Scott, a splash suggestive at the end but only if you want it to be 🙇
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You woke up to Scott’s side of the bed empty, still foggy and confused as you walked into the kitchen for some water. You didn’t plan on doing much for your birthday, proposing a sweet day in with your boyfriend instead of some elaborate party, both of you scheduled the day off weeks ago.
“What are you doing?” You asked, groggy voice barely coming out as you stood, staring down the usually annoyingly clean man that is currently covered in a layer of flour. His head snapped up from his work to explain, mimicking a similar amount of surprise on his face that he found on your own.
“You’re not supposed to be up yet. It’s barely seven, go back to sleep.” He said plainly, dusting the flour off of his hands.
“You’re baking?” You unconvincingly tried to hold back a laugh as you said it, bringing when he rolled his eyes at you.
“I bake all the time.”
“You cook all the time,” You corrected, walking behind him to grab a glass. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with an apron on.” Your gaze was pointed at the white fabric covering his shirt as he moved closer to you, taking the cup from your hands and pouring some water for you.
“Consider it a birthday present.” He said, smug as he handed you the now cold glass before cupping your face in his flour-coated hands and placing a soft kiss on your head.
“Happy birthday, by the way. I have some real fun stuff planned later that I’m sure you’d love even more if you slept a little longer first.” He knew you’d want a nap later if you were up this early and that’d interrupt some of his plans, but more than that he wanted you out of the kitchen so he could continue preparing without your stolen glances.
——
After just a few more hours of sleep you woke back up, this time to Scott walking in the room with a plate of breakfast. He walked over as you sat up, handing you a mouth watering plate of pancakes.
“Oh my god this smells amazing, thank you.” You praised, smiling up at him.
You both ate in bed, Scotts usually not a big fan of food in bed in general but clearly he decided to make an exception for your special day.
——
For a while you just lounged around together, basking in the comfort of each other you typically wouldn’t have so long with on a weekday.
Around lunch he told you to get ready, handing you the first gift of many; a black box encompassing a gorgeous dress that you’d seen a few weeks prior when you were out together. You didn’t buy it then since you figured you didn’t have anywhere to wear it. He watched your reaction as you stood speechless.
“That’s the color you wanted, right? I kept the receipt if you-“ You stopped him before he could continue, shaking your head as you held it in front of you.
“It’s perfect.” You studied the soft fabric before setting it down to give him a hug, squeezing him tight as you breathed in the warm scent of his cologne.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
——-
After a lovely dinner he brought you back home, letting you wear his jacket the second you stepped outside. You held his hand as you walked in, gasping when you saw all of the decorations. All pretty balloons and flowers with a big cake from his earlier escapades sitting on the table to top it off.
“Scott! How’d you-“
“I had a little help.” He shrugged, smiling as he watched you look up at him with excitement.
“Go on.” He let go of your hand to guide you in, “You’ve got a lot of present unwrapping to do and if you want, when you’re all done with those, I’ll give you something else.” He whispered the last part, minty as always breath over your skin as he gave your jaw a kiss before gently pushing you to walk all the way in.
——
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sugar-crash · 2 days
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🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑
(Confession Edition!)
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(Section two everyone!!! When I have enough posts for both I’ll make a masterlist! I’m kinda surprised how quick it took for people to like the previous one— Thank you so much to the people who have reblogged/followed me!!!)
- Those years of hiding away from the rest of the arcade after his major fuck up gave him lots of time to think, and mellow himself out even, though that violent impulsiveness is still there when he gets frustrated enough.
- If you catch his eye, whether it be due to you being from Sugar Rush, an older game, or newer— Or if you two were a thing before the whole RoadBlasters disaster, he isn’t nearly as stubborn with his feelings as he used to be.
- He handles it far more smoothly, though his reach is more limited (I like the idea that he can’t necessarily leave Sugar Rush due to his disguise slipping without it so this will apply here), probably getting Sour Bill to invite you to the game after hours so he can commune with you more.
- If you belong to Sugar Rush it is a bit of a different story; it's more convenient for his intentions to pursue you romantically.
- He tries and more or less succeeds in being classy in his attempts at courting you, having a kind of classic way of doing so— Giving you various edible gifts he reprograms to your liking.
- Pet name galore, all candy themed. I don’t make the rules they just come to me in dreams/j
- Naturally keeps various things from you, including the mistreatment of Venallope by him and the rest of Sugar Rush, making sure everyone plays nice in front of you so you don’t notice how lonely the little girl is.
- Sugary as all hell, which is something one would expect from King Candy, who seems to never run out of ways to try to woo you whenever you come to his game.
- After like a year or two he steadily makes his intentions more and more apparent before going out and saying it out front after inviting you to a nice dinner at the castle.
- When you accept, my god is he delighted by the result of his patience and hard work (with a good degree of manipulation, knowing him.) Much like the life he was able to carve himself into this game, he has a sense of pride about your relationship.
- His over dramatic personality comes into play, whenever someone takes interest in you in front of him he’s ready to scuffle, raising his fists up to “defend your honor”.
- It’s silly, but endearing, backing his actions up with saying his intentions are true, giving you an overly heartfelt and mushy response that gets an eye roll from Sour Bill, well deserved.
- The way King Candy loves is… Cartoonish at times, over the top, oozing that jolly and wondrous persona he’s so desperate to display in front of others, especially you.
- Though he does have moments where he lets you in, those moments where vulnerability cracks through that hard shell sugar coating he’s put on himself.
- His self-absorbed tendencies are there, no amount of time could ever take that away from him, it’s basically hard coded into him, in and out of his disguise.
- He’s quick to explain himself every time there’s a slip; either from himself or one of the many Sugar Rush subjects.
- He doesn’t let his frustrations out in front of you if he can help it, leading you away from whoever messed with his plan, placing a kind hand on the small of your back and giving the guilty party a brief yet annoyed glare before softening his face up for you.
- In many ways, he treats you right— But there's always a nearly imperceptible wall between you two, which always has him on guard in some way.
- There’s a yearning he wants to indulge in, but there's far too much risk for him to do so— He can't possibly know how'd you react if you knew his little, well, not so little secret.
- As much as he loves you, it isn’t enough to truly fill you in on everything, though unfortunately for him, the term “lies always come to light eventually” definitely fits his situation as his unwillingness to let things go (literally) inevitably does him in.
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(Pa'z ZHSTVU)
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snowflake-sage · 2 hours
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Can I just bitch about something for a minute
Irresponsible dog owners have highkey ruined dogs for me
I cannot tell you the amount of times I have been chased by a DIFFERENT dog in my neighborhood. Please, ffs, KEEP YOUR DOG IN YOUR YARD!! I am riding my bike on a public road! Why is your dog running off your property into the street to chase me! I don’t know that your dog is friendly or not, and even if you said it is, I don’t believe you!
I have had dogs literally bite my bicycle, I have had them chase me, my poor mom was walking our own dog on a leash in OUR YARD and my neighbors dog ran INTO OUR YARD, legit up to the front door and their dog tried to attack our dog. On our OWN PORCH!
WHY are so many people irresponsible?? If you have a dog, you need to have something to keep it in your yard, a fence, an invisible fence, walk it on a leash!!
It’s fucking ridiculous, it makes me so mad. You’re putting other people and your own dog in danger, if it’s running in the road it could get hit by a car. Why tf is it outside by itself?? And idc if you claim your dog is friendly, a friendly dog isn’t going to run into someone else’s yard and attack their dog, it’s not going to bite my bike.
Like these irresponsible people ruin dogs for everyone else bc I know people who have put hours into training their dog, and it’s ruined in instance bc someone else’s dog attacked theirs, and now their dog is reactive. It’s so fucking common too, I used to work at a pet store, it’s MOST PEOPLE.
I used to love dogs, now every time I see one I hold my fucking breathe, I legit get so nervous. I am developing a freaking fear of dogs.
And it’s frustrating. I LIKE dogs. I used to want my own dog (not just a family one). Now I can’t imagine myself getting one. Because even if I get one and do everything right, someone else and their negligence could ruin it for me.
I don’t hate dogs, but I’m AFRAID of a lot of them. Especially big dogs, they legit scare me. Small dogs aren’t so bad, but I literally got approached by a random boxer dog today, that’s a big fucking dog dude. It was literally running into multiple peoples yards and through the street. Just wtf.
I just want to ride my bike man, without being scared I’m gonna get attacked by a random fucking dog, im on a public street, why are DOGS CHASING ME?
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separatist-apologist · 11 hours
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We Could Call It Even
Summary: Newly made and terrified, Elain Archeron's human fiance tells her of a creature that could turn her back and keep them together and Elain will stop at nothing to make rumor a reality.
There is no force that can undo fate. No magic that can unmake a mating bond. And Lucien Vanserra isn't about to let his mate throw herself in the path of certain death on a fools hope. Lucien will be forced, instead, to watch her love another man for eighty brutal, miserable years.
While Elain Archeron will have to contend with a life she hoped to never live…and a mate she never wanted.
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Thank you @shadowisles-writes for the moodboard!!
Read on AO3 | Chapter 1
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Lucien couldn’t bring himself to look at her.
Standing beside her human husband, glowing and lovely in the ruined light of the estate they stood in. She had pointedly ignored him, though the male—Graysen—had looked him over with more curiosity than anything. He supposed the human lord wanted to know what his competition was. 
As if there’d ever been any choice between them. She hadn’t even done him the courtesy of formally rejecting the bond, leaving Lucien with an ache he couldn’t dispel and a yearning he suspected would never go away. Even then, Lucien warred with the urge to rip Graysen to shreds.
He had his arm around her. She was leaning into his body, head on his shoulder and Lucien hated it. She owed him, he thought angrily. Not an acceptance, but at least an explanation. Lucien would have liked to be free, too.
Instead he leaned against the ruined door, arms crossed over his chest as he avoided his mate, his former friend, and his older brother all at the same time. He listened to their pretty speeches about unity and togetherness that would never amount to anything. The humans very obviously distrusted her—he could see they thought she was little more than a traitor. 
Feyre didn’t seem to have a good sense of her own history. Lucien wondered why that was. She cared, certainly, but was divorced from the suffering of her own people and wanted them to get over it as she had. Feyre was an anomaly, an outlier that, from Lucien’s perspective, didn’t even notice how different she was.
Even Nesta Archeron didn’t seem wholly convinced, arms wrapped tightly around her body as though she were trying to shrink in on herself. Across the room, Jurian was trying to catch his eye. Lucien would rather die, he decided. He wanted to wash his hands of all of this.
He didn’t regret the things he’d done, but…all Lucien felt anymore was misery.
He tried to slip out once it was clear there were no more speeches left in anyone. Oh, they mingled and talked, promising to keep in touch but he knew they wouldn’t. The fae were too secretive and the humans too distrustful. The history was simply too bloody between them and even five centuries couldn’t erase the hurt.
After all, the fae had never really paid any reparations. They’d merely walled themselves off and warned humans if they crossed the border, well. Everything was fair game. Lucien didn’t know how he’d do it differently—it was a herculean task better suited to far smarter minds than his own. He simply knew that what they’d tried—which was nothing at all—hadn’t been working and would fix nothing. 
“Wait up,” Feyre murmured, looping her arm through his as she’d done on the battlefield. She’d been trying to convince Elain to speak with him, which had gone poorly. Elain clearly wanted nothing to do with him, despite everything he’d done for her. The ache in Lucien’s chest expanded.
“I’m not going to Velaris, Fey.” That stopped her short. Standing among the rubble, a breeze blowing strands of that burnished blonde hair over her freckled face, Feyre looked sad. Young, too. It was easy to forget just how young she was, but…fuck. She was twenty. Lucien ran a hand through his hair, trying to think what he’d been doing at that age.
Fucking and drinking, mostly. 
“Why not?”
“Why—I can’t,” he confessed, letting her hear some of his grief. “I want to forget all this happened.”
“Where will you go?” she questioned, looking up at him with the roundest pair of blue eyes he’d ever seen. She reminded him so much of that fragile human girl he’d once known. Lucien exhaled a sigh.
“I don’t know.”
“She’s…she’s not going to come back, Lucien. I don’t know if she’s even welcome back, I’m so…” Feyre bit her bottom lip.
“So what?”
“Angry,” she whispered, as if Elain might materialize beside her. “This wasn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. But she…she’s got this idea of what life should be like in her head and she won’t let it go.”
“Good for her,” Lucien said dismissively, not wanting to talk about Elain.
“I need…I know you don’t want anything to do with her and I don’t blame you. I told her to at least explain it to you. To talk to you. I um…I went in her mind. A couple times, actually. She doesn’t have any mental defenses and Graysen is always screaming all his thoughts at me anyway. He’s filled her head with some nonsense about a creature who can make her human again.”
Lucien's blood ran cold. “What?”
“A creature tethered to a lake,” Feyre added pointedly.
“He’s a fool then. They both are, if they make a deal with a death god.”
“She’s going to look for him. Alone.”
Lucien hated that he cared. Hated more that he knew what Feyre was asking of him and that he was going to agree, despite how much more pain it was heaping on his shoulders. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Lucien was certain he’d been sent back to live a life of torment for crimes committed in the past. 
“I’ll do anything, Lucien. Anything,” she whispered, offering him her hand.
“You know that’s a fools bargain, Feyre,” he reminded her, knowing she wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t trust him.
“She’ll get herself killed and I’ll be blamed for it. Nesta will never forgive me and Graysen…he’ll spin it as faerie trickery.”
“How am I supposed to stop her? She seems perfectly capable of making her own choices.”
“You went there. You saw him. Explain to her what he takes and the cost she’d be paying. Restoring her humanity would come at an enormous cost. Elain can be selfish, but she’s not cruel.”
Lucien wasn’t certain he agreed with that.  He took Feyre’s hand, though, because he loved her as much as he’d loved anyone. She gripped tight, yanking him just a little closer.
“I’ll put you up somewhere quiet,” she murmured, holding his gaze. “Anywhere in my territory you want. You don’t have to work with me, just…stay, Lucien.”
“And when you have to pick between myself and your sister?” he asked bitterly. “Humans die quickly. She has a century with him, if that. Likely less given how stupid he seems.”
A smile cracked over her solemn expression. “She didn’t choose me. I heard her thoughts when we went to beg for sanctuary. She held such contempt for me and I…why should I keep begging her to care about me? She’s made her choice. And I am making mine.”
Lucien’s stomach tumbled at the ferocity of her words. “I tried to kill you once.”
Her smile widened. “I was a little shit, as I remember it. You went to war for me. I’ll never forget that.”
He’d gone for Elain, and he suspected Feyre knew as much, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. Maybe he could reframe it in his mind. Sure, he’d gone on Elain’s vision, wanting to prove himself to her. But he’d saved his friend—perhaps the best friend he’d ever had. “How do I…how do I stop her?”
“She’s going alone. Don’t tell anyone…but I manipulated Graysen’s thoughts to convince himself Elain had to go by herself. That it was part of the legend.”
Lucien sighed, exasperated. “What if I’d said no?”
“You wouldn’t,” she replied with that easy, lopsided grin. “She has to make her way through my territory to get to the harbor. I know the ticket she’s purchased. Just…meet her on the docks and say whatever you have to in order to send her home.”
“And if she gets on the ship anyway?”
“Then I’ll send in Cassian,” Feyre said, her smile fading. “And Elain will know I’ve been in her mind and she’ll be cleverer next time.”
Lucien paused. “How many times have you been in my mind?”
She squirmed. “Twice.”
“On purpose?” he demanded, more annoyed than anything.
“Just once—the first time was a mistake,” she told him hastily. He believed that. 
“And the second time?”
“When you visited my sister the first time,” she all but whispered. It was better than he’d been imagining. Feyre, in her roundabout way, always wanted the best for everyone. And if she could force it to happen, well…even better.
“I’ll do my best,” he agreed, if only because he’d already shaken her hand. He felt the tingle of magic sliding up his elbow, and when their eyes met, she was smiling again.
“We ink our bargains on the skin,” she told him. “Stay with me tonight, at least. You can decide in the morning where you want to go.”
“Maybe I want to live in the mountains,” he challenged.
“I’ll build you a cabin,” she whispered. “Or a palatial estate. Whatever you want—name it, Lucien. Just…don’t leave me.”
“No promises,” he said, heart racing. No one had ever wanted him to stay so badly they’d been willing to beg. To give him whatever he wanted. As Feyre took his hand, lacing her fingers with his, he suspected she would have given him nearly anything he asked for. Jewels, some low-level secrets he’d always wondered. And as they walked back to Rhys, who cocked his head to the side but only smiled as if what he saw pleased him, Lucien wondered if it wasn’t better to just try and make a clean break of things.
“Az and Cass are already halfway back,” Rhys told Feyre, falling into step easily beside them. “Azriel was seconds from pummeling Drakon to the ground.”
“Why?”
“He thinks they’re cowards,” Rhys said, some of his amusement fading. “How did you find them?”
“I read,” Lucien replied with a shrug, not bothering to mention that a lot of it had been blind, stupid luck. Perhaps Rhys knew that, too—after all, he had to have been looking for longer than Lucien had. 
“Well, they’re going back behind their wards.
“Miryam showed me how to get a message through,” Feyre told him, but her expression was troubled. Rhys merely nodded, offering a half smile that didn’t meet his eyes.
“Hopefully we won’t need them again. Jurian has gone back with Vassa…they wanted Lucien to join them in the human lands—”
“No.”
The mere thought made his skin crawl.
“I told them he had more important tasks in Prythian that would better suit their goals.”
“Did you, now?” That irritated him. He hadn’t sworn fealty to Rhys as his High Lord. In fact, the only person Lucien felt any allegiance to was Feyre, who had promised him a life of quiet contemplation. 
“He’s lying,” Feyre whispered theatrically before a rush of cool, jasmine scented air filled his senses. Beneath the metallic edge of the magic lay the familiar scent of Feyre—pear and lilac, whorling together so nicely that for a moment he could pretend they were all back in Spring together and none of this had happened.
Was he selfish for wishing that? 
They landed on the cold streets of Velaris. A fog had settled from the mountainside, causing light snowflakes to settle on the cobblestone. Few people moved about—he’d forgotten Feyre and Rhys, like so many others, had evacuated their people. It would take time to bring them all back. 
Rhys made his way back to their home while Feyre took him to a familiar townhouse. “I thought you’d prefer it here tonight. It’s closer, but it’s also…”
“Yeah,” he agreed, understanding. It was empty. He could be alone with his misery, not forced to put on a show so people wouldn’t pity him. 
“I’ll have clean clothes sent over. If you don’t want to stay, I won’t make you, but…” Feyre bit her bottom lip, crossing her arms over her chest to ward off the cold. “I wouldn’t make you work for me. You could take a break, Lucien. Enjoy your life, for once.”
“A novel thought,” he admitted. “I’ll think about it.”
She nodded, tugging the end of her braid nervously. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Lucien wanted to say more, but the words that often came so easily to him were stuck in his throat. As she turned, Lucien lunged, catching her wrist. “Thank you.”
He hoped those two words conveyed what he wanted to say properly. She seemed to understand—they’d always had that between them, at least. Feyre nodded her head and he released her, letting her vanish into the mist before he went into the warmth. He’d been here before, just as bloodied and exhausted. Velairs had seemed foreign to him at the time, so at odds with the stories he’d always been told. This was the land of living nightmare? Surely not. 
But here, among the well appointed cream furniture and dark wood floors, lay the truth of the Night Court. It was no different than any of the other territories. It simply better guarded its borders by allowing rumors to spread unchecked. He knew, now, that Rhys rather liked that people were too afraid to come marching in. 
It was better than the heavily fortified borders of Autumn, he supposed. 
Lucien snapped his fingers, bringing the fireplace roaring to life. There was new magic in his veins he’d been trying to untangle. Ever since Hybern, Lucien had practically simmered with it. Flame like he’d never seen, bright and hot as the sun itself. It looked a lot like his fathers, like his brothers, but it didn’t feel like it.
He’d been hiding it, terrified if Eris learned, he’d have him killed. Lucien simply didn’t need any more enemies. He didn’t want Autumn, besides, and had to believe the world wouldn’t be so cruel as to force him back to the place that held so much misery for him.
When he and Feyre had trekked through, all he’d been able to think about was Jesminda, after all. What would she make of all this, he wondered? She’d hate Elain, he decided. He’d been trying to decide whether she’d like his mate or find her unworthy. Lucien had his answer at long last. Jesminda had always railed against the people closest to him, frustrated they didn’t treat him better, didn’t love him well.
You deserve so much more, she used to say. He’d believed it once, but now…gods, Lucien didn’t think so. Surely, after centuries of swallowing immeasurable bullshit, things would have started to look up? He’d thought so, for a moment. 
Now, though…
Lucien sighed, trudging upstairs to a room clearly meant for guests. He’d stumbled into Feyre and Rhys’s room and nearly gagged on the scent of them. The room at the far end of the hall—the one that overlooked the river—smelled faintly of lemon and dust. Better than the smell of sex, he decided. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
Lucien didn’t bother to turn the lights on which caused him to slam his shin into a chair he hadn’t seen in the gloom. Ripping open the heavy, dark curtains allowed for gray light to filter in. There was a bed large enough to accommodate someone with wings, a dresser, and a bookshelf holding a haphazardly stacked collection of books on war. Cassian must have been here last, he decided.
The bathroom was large—Rhys had that going for him, at least. Lucien peeled off the Illyrian leathers, wincing when it ripped the hair from more sensitive places. How did Cassian and Azriel stand them, he wondered? Lucien would be glad never to wear them again. He hoped to have no cause to ever wear them again, though he figured that was asking too much. There was a death god tethered to a lake and a gaggle of humans trying to enrich themselves at the expense of the world itself.
And his mate, of course, comfortable with potentially damning them all for a human lifespan of happiness. 
Lucien sank into a tub of scalding water, almost embarrassed by the noise that escaped his throat. It was something between relief and a sob. Looking at his forearm, he found proof of the bargain he'd made with Feyre, inked in black and white. Pretty vines wrapped from his wrist to elbow, with delicate, autumn-like leaves hanging gracefully from the stem. He traced the pattern with his finger for a moment before relaxing against the cool, smooth surface of the tub. 
His muscles loosened beneath the water, a reminder that he’d run across that battlefield looking for Elain. He hadn’t known she’d gone back to the human—all he’d heard was that she’d been captured by Hybern and was being held as a prisoner. His fear had overridden his good sense. It had been Azriel who’d gone and rescued her, and Elain who’d turned right back around for the human who couldn’t even keep her safe. 
Lucien closed his eyes, trying desperately to banish the image of Elain from his mind. She’d made her choice and he wasn’t going to beg. Wasn’t going to get on his knees and ask her to give him a chance. All he’d ever had was his dignity, and he’d be damned if he threw all that away, now. She might be his mate, but that didn’t mean he owed her anything. Mate in name only…but Jesminda had been his love. She’d died for that love, defiantly refusing to disavow him even when Beron offered her the opportunity to save her own life. If she’d been alive, would he have wanted Elain?
No.
He almost couldn’t hate Elain for her choice. Lucien hated her for making it and for getting what he hadn’t—the chance to be with Graysen, who had survived the war. It seemed so supremely unfair that Elain got everything he’d been denied.
It was simply easier to hate her. As he laid there in the water, covered up to his chin, Lucien let whatever feeling he might have had for her solidify into something cold and unforgiving. It would take centuries of chipping to break through by the time he was done. He could guard this part of himself so carefully, so closely, that no one would even know it existed. 
Let Elain have her dalliance with the human. He’d die, and she’d have nothing. And Lucien…Lucien had nothing, anyway. How long, he wondered, would Feyre hold her resolve? Would she still choose him over her sister? He knew Feyre—she simply didn’t have it in her to hold a grudge. Not forever. Time had a way of easing things, besides, especially when you were surrounded by love and happiness. Feyre would have children, would settle into her life and she’d miss Elain.
Lucien thought he’d die if he had to see Elain at every solstice party for the rest of his miserably long life. He could beg his father to take him back—and end up on the same side of the blade Jesminda had. Or he could do nothing.
Travel.
Wander.
The idea seemed to warm him a little. Shifting his aching muscles beneath the water, Lucien let himself imagine living on the continent for a time. Maybe a decade before he moved on. There was nothing holding him to Prythian anymore. No one holding him here anymore. He couldn’t even go back to Jes, whose grave was lost to him. Her family had refused to tell him where she was buried and would likely have killed him before they ever let him say his final goodbyes to her. 
Lucien left the bath, drying himself as he solidified his plans. He had more than enough money, collected after centuries of being overpaid by Tamlin, and then overpaid again by Rhys. If he needed more, he could always pick up a job somewhere. Do things he’d always been curious about if he truly wanted to.
It was a nice enough fantasy to put him to bed. Lucien woke to snow falling softly and the smell of cinnamon wafting through the halls. Wrapping a sheet around his waist, he found a little note from Feyre beside a stack of fine clothes that were his style and not the Night Courts. He dressed quickly while reading her note.
You can do hard things—even this. 
Love you,
Feyre
The mug of steaming, cinnamon chocolate, felt more like a bribe than anything. Still, he downed it all the same. Snapping the cloak around his neck, and checking his hair one last time, Lucien braced himself to speak to his mate.
And to tell her goodbye.
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livelaughghoul · 3 days
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2024 Singapore GP tarot predictions
Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot.
This is not my best work by any means, and will probably be the most I’m able to do for the rest of the week. My hand is incredibly swollen and sore (don’t be like me and get massive black and gray tattoos on your hands, it hurts a lot and turns out you kind of need hand functionality for everting).
Here are the cards that I pulled for tomorrow. No matter what it’s going to be an incredibly interesting race, especially given the lead up to it. We’ve got fines, community service, lizards, and vague threats. We love it.
P1 - 7 of Cups for Lando Norris
Well it’s not the best news, its a card of wishful thinking, so I have a feeling he’ll drop position within the first lap and end up on a lower step on the podium. Unless he manages to get lucky with a safety car, I don’t think we’ll be seeing a victory tomorrow.
P2 - Justice, reversed for Max Verstappen
They gave him community service, and he said okay I’ll get the Dutch national anthem to play as community service then. I’m taking this as the cause and effect aspect of the card, and I truly believe that he’s going to end on the podium tomorrow. If he can overtake Lando within the first lap, and they don’t totally dick around with strategy, he could easily win it.
P3 - 10 of Pentacles for Lewis Hamilton
It’s a card of permanence, so in my delusional mind this clearly means he is going to win it. My actual mind tells me that it’s just going to be a masterclass drive tomorrow, but there won’t be much change in position.
P4 - Knight of Swords for George Russell
It’s a challenging card, honestly I have a feeling that George may cause a flag tomorrow. It’s one of those unfeeling and incredibly difficult to read cards, but I’m taking this as he’s going to be challenged tomorrow.
P5 - Two of Swords for Oscar Piastri
Oscar is may be stuck in this position, Brouwer the two or swords is a stalemate and avoidance. I’m thinking that he is going to need something huge to happen with those ahead of him to really make any forward progress. He needs to avoid those risky overtakes he’s a fan of, because I don’t think it’ll go well tomorrow if he tries.
P6 - The empress, reversed for Nico Hulkenberg
I stand with my Haasbands, and I love this for Nico because it’s a card of abundance. This man is getting points tomorrow and that’s all that matters. Much like Kevin, I would also commit crimes if it benefited Nico.
P7 - The high priestess, reversed for Fernando Alonso
Its a card of potential, so it’s possible that we see improvements. I’m not necessarily seeing them for this specific race, but in the next few races we may see him in higher positionings. If he can maintain pace and drive tomorrow, I could see him possibly moving up one position, but that’s it.
P8 - Page of Wands, reversed for Yuki Tsunoda
Yuki is gonna have a wild drive tomorrow. It’s going to be creative. It’s gonna be like if you taught a golden retriever to drive. They got passion, and enthusiasm! I’m hopeful that this means Yuki will not be retiring, and will actually finish a race!
P9 - 10 of Wands for Charles Leclerc
Besties, I’m gonna hold your hand while say this, but he’s gonna struggle. I have a feeling with the mounting frustration, he’s going to take unnecessary risks.
P10 - Three of Swords, reversed for Carlos Sainz
He’s going to learn from this race, but he’s not going to have much improvement, if any tomorrow. I have a feeling this is just an obligation at this point and it’s going to be used to test strategy for future races.
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cupidspup · 2 days
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It’s late and I’m bored so enjoy this agere fic I made teehee
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CG! BEN drowned x Little! Reader
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(All art is not mine and credit goes to their original artists!)
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CW: Aged up Ben, pet regressor little, feminine little w/ feminine nicknames (this one is heavily indulgent I’m sorry guys 😔✌️), pet regression gear (pet bed, cage, chew toys, ect), alternative paternal nicknames (ex: baba), petre nicknames (puppy and kitty ones are used interchangeably!), a small amount of abandonment feels and loneliness but it’s okay because there’s lots of comfort!!
Summary: You and Ben are having parallel play time but suddenly your abandonment issues and anxiety start to sink in and it starts to make you feel sad and lonely. Luckily Ben is there to make it all better for you! (Self indulgent alert!!)
A/N: I was too lazy to figure out a way to fit in that the setting is Ben’s room in slendermansion into this fic thing so here’s how I’m letting y’all know and I hope that’s okay ८,,◐⩊◐,,ა
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You and Ben are always together, quality time is a huge thing between the two of you and everyone knows that. Wherever he goes you go and wherever you go he goes and you guys love it that way! It’s your version of perfect and you couldn’t ask for more! It even sends butterflies into your tummy when people ask where “your other half is” when one of you is missing from your usual pair. It’s domestic to you in a way and for people to immediately pair you two together in your eyes is something that you find particularly special. Now, you both following each other around isn’t necessarily a codependency thing but it’s just you both genuinely love being around each other!
If there’s a party you both are huddled in a corner either talking or playing games on your phone. When you’re home you’re always cuddled up to him while he’s busy doing his own thing. Most people would think that he’s too inattentive to be a good caregiver but not were they so far from the truth. Ben had actually never had a little until he met you. Much less a little who was also a pet at that. It took a lot of practice and communication but once he got into his own groove for it it’s been nothing but perfect. And ever since he first started caring for you he’s only gotten better by the day.
One of your favorite things to do with Ben is snuggle by him while he plays his video games. It’s something so small and unconventional but it brings you both a lot of joy. He has his gaming set up on a desk in his room. Everything is decorated just the way he likes. But he’s your baba and he loves to spoil you so of course right under his desk he’s has a perfectly pretty pink puppy bed for you complete with your favorite plushies and your favorite blankie. He even went ahead and put some small fairy lights so you wouldn’t be scared of the dark.
So while Ben plays away at his video games every now and then he’ll reach a loving hand down to ruffle your hair and caress your cheek softly. And of course you nuzzle yourself into his hand each and every time, cuddling up to his legs.
And of course today was no different than any other day.
You’ve been cuddled under his desk for about an hour now and Ben has been playing his games for a little longer than that. Initially, you went to your little crawl space to be closer to him and have some more of his attention but it hasn’t worked out quite yet. Ben still hasn’t realized that you want more attention than the occasional head pat!! Isn’t that clear enough already?? So if course as any pet would, you decide to get his attention in the best way you know how.
Pouting while being cute.
You rest your head onto his leg, smushing your cheek right up against it with a little whine. No response. You whine just a tad louder and nuzzle your head with a little more pressure. Nothin. One more louder whine with a little pout rewards you with a loving hand petting your cheeks and the most loving voice from him while he plays. “What’s up little pup?” He says as he softly caresses your face.
As soon as he says it, you feel it in your chest right in your heart. That twinge of pain and hurt is suddenly unlocked. It’s the normal pain you feel but it’s so much stronger when you’re so little and deep in your headspace.
You feel lonely. You feel abandoned somehow, even though he’s been right there this whole time! You know it’s irrational and it makes you feel crazy honestly. It’s hard to cope with it enough as is but while you’re like this? It’s a recipe for a meltdown on its own.
He’s still playing his game but you can tell he’s catching on.
“What’s going on kitty? You okay?”
You nod your head and try to pull back a little from him.
You’re being too much you don’t want to be a bother. This is too much for him it’s all too much. He’s going to leave and he’s going to leave you because you’re leaning on him too much. You have to do this on your own, you’re able to do this on your own why make him do this? He’s always playing and this is why, he needs an escape. An escape from you, you’re going to end up alone and it’ll be your fault.
The thoughts are coming in and they’re coming in fast. They’re bad and they’re overwhelming it feels like you’re suffocating from them alone. You want to cling onto him but it’s scary. He’s already so busy and you don’t want to be a bother more than you already have been.
The sound of Ben’s game being completed is what breaks you out of your own ruminating. He takes a second to stretch before pushing himself away from his desk and out of his seat. This pulls at your heartstrings, it hurts you to your core in the worst way. You curl up under the desk into your blanket, it’s the only thing that can comfort you right now.
It’s what you think at first at least.
At first, it looks like Ben was going to leave the room but once he was out of his chair, nice and stretched he comes down and sits on the floor with you. Chair and game aside he’s on your level with you.
“Baby, what’s up with you? I’m right here you can tell me anything, you know that.” He says with a comforting tone. When he looks at you it’s not judgmental or annoyed. Nothing of the sort at all. It’s calm and patient. The complete opposite of what you thought he would have been.
“Kitten are you having bad thoughts again?” He says as he inches closer. “It’s okay if you are don’t worry. You know your baba cares about you. I’d never be upset at you for that.” You pause and refuse to look into his eyes, you can’t seem to meet them even though he says it’s okay. You nod at him, confirming his suspicion. Curling into yourself further you hold your blanket closer for comfort. Ben sits for a bit to think before joining you under the desk, right in your crawl space. “Well I know there’s not a whole lot I can do to make your thoughts stop-but I know I can do a lot about how you feel about them. I’m not going anywhere at all, puppy. I promise you that, as a matter of fact I’ll stay here in your puppy space for as long as you want me to.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders and brings you in for a cuddle, which you silently accept. You nuzzle into him and the fabric of his hoodie wipes the tears that were forming in your eyes. He gives you a soft kiss on the top of your head and gently rubs your back. “That’s it pup, just relax for me.” You let out all the air you were holding in and snuggle up to him more. And it’s just like that. The two of you snuggled under his desk in your little crawl space.
It’s a nice comfort but very unfamiliar. Ben doesn’t really come down here since it’s YOUR space. You lift your head to look at him only to find him looking at the things you have under the desk with you.
He dusts off the scattered pacis you have, tidies up your various tethers and chew toys, and even organizes your various stuffed friends.
“You’ve got a nice setup, kitten. I can’t believe you had all this going on right under me.” He looks at you and his pointed ears wiggle just a tad. It makes you smile a little bit, it’s a thing he does sometimes without even realizing it most of the time. It’s something that happens really when he’s spending his time with you. He smiles and picks up one of the plushies you have under there with you. A gift from him of course. “Awe you got that thing I got you here. What’s this guy’s name again?? Rico?? Luka???”
You giggle and scrunch your face at him a little.
“Nu uh! Rilakkuma!!” You say in response as he picks up your other plushie.
“Oh yeah and his friend Corey” he says as he puts them together.
You laugh and shake your head no as you point to the plushie, “Nooo that’s Korilakkuma! You’re being silly!!” Ben pretends to be shocked at both the name and at your accusations.
“Gasp that is not TRUE! I am being sooo serious right now how could you kitten? I thought we were FRIENDS!” He says with a playful tone as he cuddles the bears together. “I’m gonna go cuddle with my REAL FRIENDS Rico and Corey now that I’ve been WOUNDED by my kitty.” His ears droop for dramatic effect. This of course makes you giggle even more. “Babaaaaa! Noooo!” He cuddles them close and starts talking to them, “Cmon guys they obviously don’t know what they’re talking about.” This throws you into a laughing fit and it completely shifts your mood. Ben is always the best at helping with that. He’s not a big fan of being like this in front of others but when it’s just you two? You get a side of him that no one else sees and it’s your perfect dynamic, hust the way you want it. He’s a doting caregiver through and through.
Ben being the self-appointed internet god he is, of course he knows these characters and their real names! You’ve talked about them before and he sees them all the time! He just loves to tease you and make you laugh. ♡
He hands you one of your beloved bears back (Korilakkuma) and keeps the other. Making his gives your a big hug. “See my bear is hugging yours because they love each other and I love you too, kitten. ♡ you’re always going to be mine and I’ll always take care of you. Leaving you would be just as upsetting to me as it would be to you-I’d never do a thing like that to you cutie. I promise”
You give him a big hug and bury yourself into his neck a little. And he hugs you right back because he’s secretly just as much of a cuddle bug as you are. “I love you puppy”
“I love you too baba”
“Wanna sit on my lap and watch while I do my stuff? We can do something else if you’d prefer that” he asks with a little smile. You’d nod and you leave your arms out to him. He gets up and lifts you up into his arms and take a seat with you. You settle into your rightfully taken throne (Ben’s lap) and lean against his chest. He drapes a loving and protective arm around you and uses the other to turn his pc back on. With a kiss on your head, a plushie in your arms and your little gear on stand by it’s the perfect setup.
You point at the can of monster on his desk and make a lil noise.
He moves the can away from you, “Nope. Sorry baby, little puppies like you can’t have any of that.” He leans down and opens his creeper mini fridge (yes he has one) and takes out a juice box for you instead. “I can however, give you this instead. That sound good?”
You nod and take the juice box, sipping happily as you watch Ben play his games. It’s a lovely routine you two have and you couldn’t ask for more.
Just like that, everything is back to perfect and you wind up spending your day with him like you usually do. Curled up in his lap like a good kitty and spending time with him like usual.♡
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A/N: WOof this took FOREVER and I initially planned on posting sneak leaks but I never was able to like write enough for that but I’ve been up since 5 am and I’ve been writing and it’s honestly come together so nicely and so much better than I thought it would?? I dunno if it’s obvious but this is so incredibly self indulgent it’s not even funny lol I hope you guys liked it nonetheless! I have so much more planned (especially with Ben and Toby as caregivers) and I can’t wait to share that with you! Love you guys!
-Puppy 🐶ིྀ🐾♡₊ ⊹
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oasisofgalaxies · 10 months
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simcardiac-arrested · 26 days
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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milo-is-rambling · 5 months
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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creepyjirachi · 12 days
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okay hear me out. i know i love science and i’m very good at chemistry and physics. but what if i became a fucking accountant
#IM SERIOUS…….#like i’ve been doing research about what career path to tailor my degree towards when i go back to school#and it seems like chemistry careers outside of phd research and academia just. barely exist in the US anymore#they’ve been largely outsourced or are extremely geographically limited. or it’s pure bench work that barely pays better than retail#and i’m like. knowing what i know now about my health i just cannot go into academia. i cant. it would take up 100% of my life#and as much as i think i could be smart enough i just like don’t. want to give up on hobbies or having a personal life.#i’m a slow reader/writer. i cant be writing all those papers and making all of those curriculums. it would be all i ever did#and i don’t want to constantly move across the country in pursuit of unicorn chem/bio jobs that would actually interest me#i need to be near my family or a few very close friends on case of a medical emergency#and as for accounting like. look at my hobbies. i love optimizing dragon capitalism on FR. i love making charts and solving puzzles#i don’t mind menial tasks. i need a job with consistent hours that i can leave at the office. bc otherwise i can get too wound up#accountants are in demand everywhere and the pay is actually proportional to the amount of schooling required#depending on the company you work for the work/life balance can be pretty reasonable apparently#i’m good at math enjoy solving problems and have job experience recruiting clients and solving their unique problems#it’s not as spiritually fulfilling as astrobiology but like does it have to be? if i could have a stable and healthy life with people i love#idfk man
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seilon · 1 month
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shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!
#I’m going to fucking call the bank and ask about a second checking account because she’s never going to make her own fucking account#it’s been like a year since she said she would and it’s just not gonna happen#she owes me thousands of dollars via me paying her fucking overdraft fees and she always says ‘what you think I won’t pay you back?’ no!!!!!#no I don’t!!!!!!! because you literally never have!!!!!!!!!!!#and where the fuck are you going to get like 8000 dollars anyway. because that’s what she owes me at the very least#even if you want to factor in like. paying her monthly for the groceries she buys and cat food and whatever that’s still. thousands of#dollars. and the worst part about it is I just have no safety net anymore#because my savings is basically nothing at this point. like nothing that can help in a dire situation anymore.#I keep thinking about whatever im going to have to end up paying for top surgery and I WOULD have a significant amount saved up to#contribute to that but haha! no I don’t! it’s fucking gone!#and I’ve been getting paid basically fucking nothing lately because of how few hours they’re scheduling me so that does not fucking help#my last paycheck was literally like half of what I should be getting. I made like 1K in the past two paychecks. that’s fucking depressing#anyway I’ve given myself a headache#I’ve been avoiding looking at my bank account because I knew it would be bad and it’d stress me the fuck out but I also have been anxious#not knowing and my mother making a few vague comments that implied she must have fucked me over. so I checked today and yeah she sure did#if I don’t make a new checking account that she can’t access i am actually going to be broke within the nenxt few months at this rate#my head hurts and I am so upset I am so upset I work so fucking hard and it doesn’t even matter i just lose money constantly#I get nothing I just pay her fucking fees and pay for my tuition and pay for everything else of any significance#and I am not exaggerating I work my ass off. I am the only person I know at my job who begs to work holidays and extra days and stay as late#as possible and it . doesn’t even matter#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.#kibumblabs#vent#like shit I need to buy for WORK. my manager is getting on me about not having proper shoes for example and yeah I can get a discount#through shoes for crews but I still dont have the fucking money for anything anymore#not unless I want to run myself into the fucking ground#I need a new binder badly. I need new black pants also for work since mine are so faded at this point.#I only have one fitted sheet that doesn’t have giant holes in it#I can’t stop thinking about my last paycheck it was literally the worst I’ve seen since starting this job a year ago. fucking infuriating
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