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nerianasims · 4 years

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Billboard #1s 1976

Under the cut.

Bay City Rollers – “Saturday Night” -- January 3, 1976

They prove they can spell Saturday a lot. Anyway, he's going out to dance with his girl on Saturday night. The song is bouncy to a fault -- I feel like the repetitive, samey beat is following one of those balls the mind-controlled kids bounced in A Wrinkle in Time. It sounds like a cheerleading chant. Something to do aerobics to, not to dance to.

C.W. McCall – “Convoy” -- January 10, 1976

So, besides the cb radio fad, 1976 was also the year of the OPEC oil crisis and basically, it seems the reason truckers became folk heroes evading The Man in popular consciousness had its roots in international relations. Anyway, it's a baritone story song, but about truckers instead of cowboys. I like the verse, "Well, we shot the line and we went for broke/ With a thousand screamin' trucks/ An' eleven long-haired Friends o' Jesus/ In a chartreuse micro-bus." It's a silly song with a lot of trucker lingo (or fake trucker lingo, idk), and I don't exactly dislike it, but I'm not gonna listen to it again either.

Barry Manilow – “I Write The Songs” -- January 17, 1976

It's obvious from the first lines "I've been alive forever/ And I wrote the very first songs" that Barry's not singing about himself. It turns out "music" wrote the all the songs. Except that's obnoxious too. People wrote the songs. Also possibly birds, but definitely people. And it's musical goo.

Diana Ross – “Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” -- January 24, 1976

It's a song about regretting letting an ex go, and probably more. There's a ton of orchestration that sounds like it belongs in a lightweight movie, and Diana Ross doesn't put much emotion into it. It is a thoughtful song, rather than one calling for melodrama, but I would like to hear some emotion here, and I am not getting it. A trifle light as air.

Ohio Players – “Love Rollercoaster” -- January 31, 1976

It's a funk/disco thing. I've listened to it three times trying to get anything from it at all. The lyrics are dumb, asserting love is like this or that amusement park experience. I'd think "love rollercoaster" would be about how there are huge highs and terrifying lows, but it's not. It's horribly repetitive. I guess it's danceable. But I find it dull.

Paul Simon – “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” -- February 7, 1976

I love how pared down this song is. It's sort of funky, without all the funk orchestration. The simple drums are the main focus. The melody's also simple, without being dull. And the lyrics aren't complex; a woman is encouraging the narrator to leave his official lover for her. "Just get yourself free." But she's doing it so very nicely -- "I wish there were something I could do to make you smile again." Not that the song expects us to believe she or the narrator actually are nice. Or that it's really all that easy to leave your lover. But it doesn't tell you what to think about the situation either. An excellent song.

Rhythm Heritage – “Theme From S.W.A.T.“ -- February 28, 1976

Apparently, there was a TV show about S.W.A.T., and this was its instrumental theme song. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Not a good TV theme either. I looked up 1976 shows, and here are some shows with better TV themes from that year: Charlie's Angels, Alice, M*A*S*H, Happy Days (which surprisingly only hit #5), All in the Family, Barney Miller, Welcome Back Kotter (which hit #1 later), The Jeffersons (that Movin' On Up doesn't seem to have been a hit is shocking), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Sanford and Son, The Bob Newhart Show... look, all of them. All shows in 1976 that I can find had better theme songs than S.W.A.T., often to a staggering degree. But songs don't reach #1 for being good. Still, usually I can hazard a reason for them. I can't for this one.

The Four Seasons – “December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)” -- March 13, 1976

It's about the narrator getting laid for the first time. He didn't even know the name of the woman, which completely undercuts anything happy or fun about this song for me, and makes it icky. At least it's not falsetto. I wasn't born when it came out, yet it was overplayed on the oldies stations in the 90s so much that I developed a deep and abiding hatred for it.

Johnnie Taylor – “Disco Lady” -- April 3, 1976

This is a song about disco that isn't a disco song. As such, it confuses me. It's kind of a mild funk/soul song, and it's about how turned on this guy is watching a woman disco. Johnnie Taylor can definitely sing, and I'd like to hear some more traditional soul/jazz stuff from him. This isn't doing it for me.

The Bellamy Brothers – “Let Your Love Flow” -- May 1, 1976

I saw the title and immediately the song shoved itself into my head. It's such a mellow song, but the hook is still monstrous. The song is about how it's the season for love, so grab your lover and "let your love flow." It's one of many 70s songs about sex that sounds like it could be a song about how pretty trees are. It kind of is about how pretty trees are too. I rather like it.

John Sebastian – “Welcome Back” -- May 8, 1976

Welcome Back, Kotter was not on Nick at Nite or WGN or anything else that ran old TV shows when I was watching TV (rather than the internet), so I've never seen it. The theme song lays it all out -- someone moves back to his old neighborhood, where they need him. As TV theme songs go, it's fine. Just fine, though. When "Movin' On Up" and "Love Is All Around" were also theme songs for TV shows in 1976, why this one? The rewards of mediocrity I guess.

The Sylvers – “Boogie Fever” -- May 15, 1976

It's literal. You come in contact with someone who can't stop boogie-ing, and you will catch the Boogie Fever yourself. Listening to the song will certainly make you want to boogie, unless you are immune. A fun dance song, and I wouldn't be surprised if Tik-Tok made it a hit again in the next year.

Wings – “Silly Love Songs” -- May 22, 1976

"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs / What’s wrong with that?" Nothing. Paul even emphasizes something important in it: "Love isn't silly at all." Still, I can't say it's one of my favorites. I get tired of it about halfway through, and it's a long song. A silly love song shouldn't be nearly 6 minutes long.

Diana Ross – “Love Hangover” -- May 29, 1976

It starts with Diana Ross making sex sounds that I find embarrassing. Then she goes into singing about how she doesn't want to get over "the sweetest love hangover", and a minute and a half in it becomes a disco song. I find the entire thing irritating.

Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight” -- July 10, 1976

"Afternoon delight" is sex, but these doofuses may as well be singing about tea and scones for all the excitement this song has. It still doesn't deserve the hatred it's gotten. But it's not good either. The number of sexless sex songs in the 70s is just... ugh.

The Manhattans – “Kiss And Say Goodbye” -- July 24, 1976

He has to break up with the person he's been cheating with. It's an achingly sad Philly soul song. It also manages to be way sexier than the vast majority of 70s sex songs. Real emotion (or the ability to fake real emotion) does a lot, as does being able to sing like this. And beautiful backing music. It's so sad, and so good.

Elton John & Kiki Dee – “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” -- August 7, 1976

This song isn't mutual. Elton John's the one who sings "don't go breaking my heart," and Kiki Dee's the one singing "I won't go breaking your heart." It is all and entirely and completely about the male character's feelings. Of course it's an Elton John song so I wouldn't like it anyway, but I really don't like this one, especially because it still gets airplay.

Bee Gees – “You Should Be Dancing” -- September 4, 1976

I hate the Bee Gees. Not on a personal level -- as far as I know they're perfectly decent people -- but their music. And I have a particular hatred for Barry Gibb's voice. His horrible falsetto has caused me immense pain in my life. If I should be dancing, then they need to shut up and sit down and let a band that I can dance to take the stage. As it is, I feel like a dog during the 4th of July; I just want to hide under a bed.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” -- September 11, 1976

Here's a command to dance that I can get behind. Or that my behind can get behind. Again, a great song for dancing but not for listening to from KC & The Sunshine Band.

Wild Cherry – “Play That Funky Music” -- September 18, 1976

Good for both dancing and listening. How you can listen and not get into that funk groove even when sitting, though, I don't know. Play that funky music till you die.

Walter Murphy & The Big Apple Band – “A Fifth Of Beethoven” -- October 9, 1976

This was the #1 hit the week I was born. It's a good one for me; it's by a guy who loved classical music enough to write contemporary music based on it. Whenever I'm faced with questions about what kind of music is my favorite, my answer is "the good kind." Anyway, this is a fun song.

Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots – “Disco Duck (Part 1)” -- October 16, 1976

Billboard used to base their hit songs on calling record stores and asking what was selling. I think that's how this stupid, stupid song reached number one. I think it was a prank by a bunch of stoned college kids who co-ordinated it over cb radio or something. It's about a duck. Who discos. With an obnoxious voice and obnoxious music. It's by a radio dj, and is as painfully unfunny as radio djs usually are.

Chicago – “If You Leave Me Now” -- October 23, 1976

This song makes me have a weird reaction. It gives me the warm, comfortable fuzzies, and makes me want to sleep. That last part might not be too surprising, as it is a soft song, but to me it is very much more than that. I have always had trouble sleeping at night, since birth. My parents hit on putting me into the car and driving around with soft music playing to get me to go lights out. I need to ask them if they played Chicago during that. I can't think of any other reason for my hindbrain association with this szzzzzzz....

Steve Miller Band – “Rock’n Me” -- November 6, 1976

Good bar rock, since it's the Steve Miller Band. Lyrically, it's also more complex than most of its genre. At first, he sings "I got to please my sweet baby, yeah." Then he starts singing about all the places he's been, including "Northern California where the girls are warm." And then "Babe, you know you are a friend of mine/ And you know that it's true/ That all the things that I do/ Are gonna come back to you in your sweet time." Well then. I can totally see @katatty's Duncan Huckleberry singing this song. And getting away with everything. It's a fun song, though (because?) the narrator is likely a dirtbag.

Rod Stewart – “Tonight’s The Night (Gonna Be Alright)” -- November 13, 1976

It's a sex song, and it is hugely skeevy. "Don't deny your man's desire/ You’d be a fool to stop this tide / Spread your wings and let me come inside." No, asshole, cover it up if you want to come near. And how about if you want her, you care something about her desire? This was a huge hit from a huge star, but I have never heard it until now. Ugh. I need to shower, this is gross. Also I hope whoever he's singing to is packing mace.

BEST OF 1976 -- "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I don't even think it's an amazing song, just a very good one, but the 1976 #1s don't leave me much to work with. Fleetwood Mac released some singles, but people wanted "Disco Duck" rather than "Over My Head." Tons of great music has survived from 1976, but most of it is not on this list. WORST OF 1976 -- "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)". "Disco Duck" is stupid, but it doesn't make my skin crawl.

#billboard number ones

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films

Hi to anyone reading,

I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.

I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.

This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!

I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.

So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)

God Tier

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)

Knives Out. What a film.

I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.

But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.

Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.

Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)

There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.

Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.

The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.

Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)

So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?

IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.

The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)

I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.

Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)

I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!

Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.

Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.

Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!

Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)

So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.

Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.

Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)

Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.

SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.

Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.

Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)

I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.

American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)

My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.

Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)

I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.

Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.

Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)

If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.

The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)

This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?

The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)

For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.

Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)

Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!

ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.

Good Tier

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)

Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.

Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)

So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.

I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.

Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.

How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.

Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)

Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.

There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.

I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film

I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?

It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)

Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).

It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.

Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.

Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)

You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.

The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.

All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.

On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)

I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.

If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)

EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.

Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)

So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.

Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)

The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.

The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)

I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.

Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)

So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.

First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)

A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.

The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)

I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.

As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)

I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that

Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)

Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.

Mid Tier

Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)

I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)

I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.

Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.

Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?

Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)

In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.

Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)

What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.

Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)

There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.

Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)

It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)

So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.

Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)

I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.

Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)

The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)

So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.

Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)

Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?

Also.

SO. MANY. FEET.

But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:

Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)

I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)

I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?

Shit Tier

Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)

First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.

It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?

I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.

Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)

The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.

The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)

Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.

Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)

I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.

Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)

Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo

Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)

I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.

This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.

Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)

Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.

Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)

So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.

ANYWAY.

I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!

With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.

But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!

Lauren x

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juliaisabellphoto · 6 years

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Music Journal #1: 2018 Albums of the Year

Thus far, I’ve dedicated this blog solely to my attempts at becoming a decent photographer, as well as some scattered descriptions of my travels. While I have no intention of making this blog absurdly personal or anything more than an artistic outlet, I’ve always had an itching to write about the music I find & listen to. So, without further ado, I’ll start with my favorite albums of the year (& a short summary of my thoughts on each)

1. Tash Sultana, Flow State

I stumbled upon this gem of a project late in 2018 when I was itching for an album to drown myself in. As soon as the first notes of “Seed (Intro)” blasted in my headphones, I knew I had chosen right. With a beautiful combination of melodic guitar riffs, biting electronic drum tracks, and silky, laid-back vocals, Sultana opens up a world for the listener to fall into. Listening to this album is startlingly similar to a dreamless night of sleep - one moment you feel as though you can discern the differences between tracks, and the next you’ve made it all the way to track eight without noticing. “Cigarettes” is certainly the vocal gem of the piece, with smooth R&B roots & a chorus that just won’t get out of your head. In stark contrast, “Blackbird” is a song of instrumental mastery. The vocals take a backdrop to the intense conversation (and at some points, argument) being had by Sultana’s competing guitar melodies. Sultana’s work on the guitar is often reminiscent of John Butler Trio & other acoustic greats, but the addition of their unique voice allows the album to take an entirely unique shape of its own. If I have one piece of advice for 2019, it’s to make time to sit and do nothing but listen to this album.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVDJ8O3lPBA

2. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

This was an obvious choice. Ari dropped the album we all needed to hear in 2018. With the artful ability to produce banging pop songs with real meaning, Grande has the makings of a star who will not stop shining for a long, long while. The album is brimming with girl power and independence while also being honest and genuine. The entrancing bass line and sexy confidence of “God is a woman” captured the attention of functionally everyone this year, and with good reason. The subsequent confessional “breathin” showed that even the most badass women have their struggles. Chronicling her fight with anxiety, the song provides a stunning anthem for holding your head up through hard times. If this album proves anything, it is that the new queen of pop has arrived and will be staying.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivwciGSLC-M

3. ASAP Rocky, TESTING

In this album, ASAP Rocky ascends to a whole new level of hip-hop greatness. When describing the project, he stated that it was ‘all about testing new sounds,” and that shows. The abrasive intro song, “Distorted Records,” sets the stage for a completely unique soundscape. This experimentation continues throughout the album with funky drum tracks and accompanying melodies, but ASAP Rocky’s clean vocal style provides a uniting constant.

While most of this album is perfect for blasting on the highway with car windows down, one song stands out as an independent masterpiece. “Purity.” featuring Frank Ocean, stands in stark contrast to the air of invincibility found in the rest of the album. This song is vulnerable: an introspective discussion of intoxication-related demons laid over an artful sample of Lauryn Hill’s “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind.” This slow, heart-wrenching piece provides an end to the album that is completely antithetical to its beginning. The immense versatility shown in one album alone deserves to be at the top of any 2018 list.

4. Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that the best instrumental music has the ability to say more than any lyrics can. Khruangbin’s second album does just that: every song has a character and a storytelling emotion wrapped up in its funky bass lines. At times, the album floats along as life does (see “Como Me Quieres.) At others, for example in Maria Tambien, there is the feeling of being in the midst of some dramatic situation. The album instrumentally represents the stages of individual thought (both active and passive) and it is completely enthralling.

Fun fact: the track “August 10″ is the song “August 12″ from their first album, but played in reverse. They described it as a “connective tissue” between their first album and their second. Cool stuff!

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWLJeqLPfSU

5. Mitski, Be the Cowboy

I first listened to this album as I fell asleep on a plane ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The droning, climactic beauty of this album is best experienced on its own with nothing to distract but your own droopy eyes. The album starts off slow with “Geyser,” but quickly works its way up to the earth-shaking climax of “Pearl.” The album is filled with complex sonic peaks and valleys from there on out (try to find a melodic similarity between “Remember My Name” and “Come into the Water” - I date you.) The songs of this album feel like different chapters in a storybook, and that’s exactly how Mitski wanted it. When she described her intentions, she said that she wanted the album to feel like “the image of someone alone on a stage.” ‘Be the Cowboy’ cleverly achieves this - finishing the album feels like finishing a novel, including the disappointment at the lack of further content.

6. Troye Sivan. Bloom

This pop album bursting with energy and emotion accesses the wonderful, terrible process of falling in and out of love. While I could talk for paragraphs upon paragraphs about the hours that I spent dancing in my kitchen to this album, that’s not the primary reason for this album’s place on my list. With ‘Bloom,’ Sivan produced one of the most emotionally versatile musical pieces of the year. When I discuss his songs with people, I am always struck by the differences in what they mean to each of us. Certainly, this variance in meaning is the nature of music - but Sivan pushes that to a new level. His songs are a vibrant and powerful normalization of gay expression, and provide the whole world with relatable songs to dance (and cry) to.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI

7. J. Balvin, Vibras

There is only one thing that this album makes you want to do: dance. It is absolutely guaranteed that your hips will be moving by the end of song number two. The beats on this new album are hot and infectious, as shown by the popularity of “Mi Gente” in clubs everywhere. Reggaeton as a genre has gained massive popularity globally, and Balvin has jumped into this with new variations of the traditional Columbian style. Noticeable throughout the album are infusions of popular trap beats as well as salsa and electronic dance music (see “Machika.”) The album is undeniably sexy, y despues de escuchar todas personas quieren mas ;)

8. LP, Heart to Mouth

I read somewhere that this album was a “full-length heartbreaker.” As I progressed through each song, this description was confirmed ten times over. There is not a single song on this album that didn’t make me feel something real. In no particular order, LP represents the whirlwind of emotions that come with the end of a relationship: regret, pain, missing someone, liberation, strength. The entire conflicting mess is all there. Listen to ‘Recovery’ if you need a cry, and ‘Girls Go Wild’ if you need a therapeutic dance party. All I can do is feel thankful to have received this raw, empowering confessional. And of course, her stunning vocals don’t hurt one bit.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACWS4ajWdww

9. Mac Miller, Swimming

Listening to this album in the wake of Mac’s death is haunting. His words cut deep, and they cut deeper after knowing the full extent of how he struggled. The themes of growth and healing are wrapped up in overwhelming melodies and Mac’s beautiful voice. The first track of the album, “Come Back to Earth,” sets the stage for the emotional rollercoaster that each track is bound to be. After this song, he launches into the groovy “Hurt Feelings” and begins to describe the intricacies of his hardships. This album is something you could easily bop around your kitchen table to (queue “What’s the Use?”), but if you listen too closely you might end up in tears. In this contemplative and instrumentally complex record, Mac’s last work was his strongest.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrR_gm6RqCo

10. Liz Brasher, Outcast EP

I first heard this EP on an episode of NPR’s “All Songs Considered” in the middle of a long drive up California Highway 5 (one that would’ve been torturous without the discovery of new music.) The song “Body of Mine” immediately caught my ear, and I dove into the rest of Brasher’s music as deeply as I could. Uncut garage-band sound is the overwhelming theme of the EP - “Body of Mine,” “Come My Way,” and “Outcast” make this crystal clear. Despite the quick assumptions that can be made about her sound, Brasher pulls complexity into the EP with the heart-wrenching ballads “Feel Something” and “Remain.” These two songs showcase the raw strength of her voice and the emotion that she can convey with it. I am excited to see what her music develops into as she gains more acclaim in the new year. Thanks again, NPR!

11. Travis Scott, ASTROWORLD

I haven’t been a huge Travis Scott fan in the past. I would passively listen to his music, but I never understood all the buzz about him. This album completely changed my mind. ASTROWORLD is a masterpiece in so many ways, and the amount of depth present in the album is mindblowing. While “STARGAZING” and “SICKO MODE” stand out as obvious party bangers, it’s no surprise that many fans are hooked on calmer tracks like “YOSEMITE” and “COFFEE BEAN.” If I were to describe the different musical styles employed on this album, I would truly be describing every song. Scott enters a new realm of production genius, giving club DJs exactly what they want while also producing the perfect songs for a chill night in smoking. He includes the autotuned party business he employed in past albums while also mixing in pure, clean cuts of his own voice. It was a pleasant surprise to hear an album from a trap artist with both diversity and widespread quality. Officially a Travis Scott fan.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enYt3dKXWkE

12. Christine and the Queens, Chris

I was also introduced to this album late in the year, and I’m glad I was because its energy was exactly what I needed. This half poppy half funky explosion of energy is what anyone needs to listen to on a down day. This album was her rebranding as Chris, an “affirmation of desire as a force of chaos” as she described in an interview with NPR. In both the album artwork and the record’s descriptions of love and identity, she plays with the fluidity of gender and its meaning in our modern era. This phenomenal record is an exercise in both shifting representations of desire and making you dance, and I’m so here for it.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjliweXTCYM

12. Kacey Musgraves. Golden Hour

This slow-rolling album is perfect for a slow day. When I initially saw this album on the top charts, I was confused - I had seen Musgraves live in 2014, I had heard “High Horse,” but what was SO special about her? It was only in taking a chunk of my day to sit and listen to this album that I caught the bug that everyone else seemed to already have. In this album, Musgraves develops into so much more of an artist than she has been in the past. She shifts from cookie-cutter radio country to a wonderfully sweet combination of cotton-candy pop and heartfelt Americana guitar riffs. Her message is positive, her lyrics are honest, and her sound is touching. I was most convinced by “Happy & Sad,” and I won’t deny that the song pulled tears out of my eyes. She conveys youthful happy energy while simultaneously acknowledging the uncertainty of that happiness, and we all needed it (even if we didn’t know it.) Plus, “High Horse” is a bop, and that’s that on that.

13. BROCKHAMPTON, iridescence

After the expulsion of Ameer Vann from the group and the cancellation of a number of tour dates, many weren’t sure what to expect from Brockhampton in the coming weeks. The name of the upcoming album was changed, and presumably entirely new songs were recorded. Nevertheless, iridescence was received with intense anticipation from die-hard Brockhampton fans (myself among them.) The album fulfilled all hopes - with the first track, “NEW ORLEANS,” launching into an aggressive and high-energy beat, I couldn’t help but smile. Brockhampton did it yet again. The transitions between songs are seamless, and every song lends to the theatrics that they love to pull onstage. Much of the record feels like a high-speed formula one race, but the emotional “SAN MARCOS” pulls listeners into another dimension entirely. Hearing this song performed live was one of the more powerful moments of any concert I’ve ever seen - the outro was made to be passionately sung by a crowd, and it so was. And “TONYA” - wow. I could go on forever about this album.

14. Boygenius, boygenius

The cover art for this record is simple, and that simplicity shines through in its tracks. The collaboration of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus in this project is pure magic. The music is calm, melodic, and easy to become entranced by. Their voices could lull me to sleep any day, and every song feels like it could play during the part of a movie when the protagonist stares out a car window in deep thought. Each song builds to an emotionally charged climax in exactly the tortured way that a listener would expect from these three artists. At this point, I’d be deeply sad if these three didn’t continue making music as a group. They are a gift.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS48Lp34Zic

15. Kali Uchis, Isolation

Kali Uchis blooms in a real way in Isolation. Busting at the seams with sexy confidence, her psychedelic-funky R&B traversal of genres on this record is just perfect. Her uniquely smooth voice pulled over left-of-center beats lends itself to an album full of hits. “After the Storm” featuring Tyler the Creator gained quick popularity, and it is a good representative of the vibe that the rest of the album gives off. A laid back, sexual, happy piece of musical experimentation, Kali Uchis is here to play ball.

16. Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

With Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B burst onto the popular rap scene with no regrets. Every song exudes her bad bitch energy and reclaims the rap music tropes typically employed exclusively by men. While an incredible ancestry of female rappers came before her, Cardi B has broken the musical glass ceiling in a big way. She is the first female rapper to reach number one on the Billboard top 200 in over 20 years, has the most Billboard top 100 entries of any female artist in history, and many more. She is a true ‘rags-to-riches’ success story, and she’s here to tell us all about it. I’m listening.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LPVjHxXvJM

17. Ryan Beatty, Boy in Jeans

I just saw an article titled “Ryan Beatty writes really good pop songs about boys.” This was a quite simplistic summary of what’s going on here, but it’s not wrong. Despite his vocals on Brockhampton’s “Bleach” and his frequent collaboration with the popular group, Beatty didn’t break out individually in the music scene until now. He certainly did so with this album, and he did it well. His slightly left-of-center pop featuring a voice with the consistency of caramel is exactly what everyone wants to hear. It’s the perfect music for a scenic car ride, and I’m obsessed.

18. The Decemberists, I’ll Be Your Girl

I’ve been a fan of the Decemberists for a long time, and I saw them at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley on their last tour. I would see them again in a heartbeat, and I will never get over the passion that goes into Colin Meloy’s vocal presentation. With the high-energy promotion of this album, I was expecting typical Decemberists greatness. What I got was something entirely different - greatness, but nothing typical. This electronically-infused record exposed a new side of the Decemberists that I am refreshed to hear. The addition of synth and an Arcade Fire type vibe suits them and the sort of rebranding they desired to achieve. With this album, the Decemberists evolved in a way they never have, and I applaud them for it.

19. J. Cole, KOD

There are a number of people who love to hate on J. Cole, and I’ve never understood it. With this album in particular, J. Cole distinguished himself with both lyrics and production value. The album cover above depicts excessive drug use, and in fine print states “This album is in no way intended to glorify addiction.” This powerful message alone sets the stage for an album that means something. The subsequent subject matter of each of the record’s tracks follows this narrative - a description of being stuck in the ways of drug addiction. I have always appreciated J. Cole for his ability to tell a complete story through an album despite the lack of a chronological order or common plot in each song. The album shows the deterioration of a drug addict - from the high of “KOD” to the contemplative pain of “Once an Addict (Interlude).”

20. Kendrick Lamar, Black Panther the Album

Everything produced surrounding the Black Panther movie was a hit. The power of this movie and the contributors to this album is unparalleled. Aside from the clear message that this media sent, every song is phenomenal. “All the Stars” displays SZA’s ridiculous vocal prowess. “X” is the perfect hype song, displaying Kendrick’s sassy and innovative lyrical technique. In “The Ways,” Khalid’s sweet voice embodies the beauty of the powerful woman he describes. “I Am” by Jorja Smith absolutely knocks the album out of the park - this stunningly sexy track propelled her onto the music scene, and thank god it did. I’d listen forever if I could. I’d go on, but every song on this album is an iconic collaboration.

Must watch: the movie.

21. Houndmouth, Golden Age

This album is so painfully underrated. If you want a pick me up, listen to Golden Age. Immediately. From the album’s floaty start to the explosive mood of the album’s namesake track, it’s all hits and no misses. Embracing a completely different musical tone from their last album, Houndmouth seizes a futuristic alt-rock cacophony as their new style. Taking nods from 80s Phil Collins numbers (the beginning of Strange Love... come on!), they take us back to a golden age of sorts while also propelling us to a fun future. I will never not dance my pants off to this album.

#juliaisabellphoto #musicjournal #albumsoftheyear

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take-siege · 6 years

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Avenger’s Preference

Awful Sins August: Envy

How the Avengers get jealous after seeing you with someone else.

Steve: When Steve saw you with another man he couldn't help but look at hin in hatred. He was envious that he had you holding his arm. You would looked up at him with a white glimmer in your eyes. Steve wanted you to look at hin that way, adoring him, looking at him like he was your entire world. Steve watched you for months seeing you so happy with another. His jealously began to get the better of hin and his attitude toward you with darken and seep the deadly sin. His normal, gentleman attitude changed into a sarcastic assole attitude. He wanted you so bad and was envious of ever man who had the chance to have you.

Tony: Tony wasn't one to show his jealous side but those who knew him could see those tiny signs that showed he was envious. When you started dating a guy who seemed to have no real interest in you Tony was letting his envious side peek through his normal facade. Tony would flirt with you more aggressively, any Avenger who bothered you would get a piece of his mind. Your boyfriend would come around to pick you up for dates and Tony always treated him like he was small, but not wanting to ruin your happiness he would usually keep his mouth shut. Regardless he often wondered if he could be your superhero telling you it's okay after a tragic accident happened to your boyfriend.

Bucky: Being an Ex-Assassin he still had the skills of sneaking around. No one ever knee where he went after you and your boyfriend went out. Often times Steve would go and check on Bucky to find his bedroom empty. On the nights you would go out with your boyfriend Bucky would follow you and your man. It didn't matter where you would go he would be there to keep and eyes on you. At the cafe? Bucky us setting two tables to your right. At the amusement par? He's sitting in the rollercoaster three seats back. At a concert? He's the guy in the black hoodie who accidentally elbowed your boyfriend in the gut.

Bruce: Ever heard that envy is the color green? If envy was a person, Banner was it. Being jealous made him mad and every time Banner saw you with another man the Hulk made his marvelous appearance. Thor would always laugh at Bruce for being a child and getting angry over the silliest thing. It was just a man after all but that didn't stop Bruce from bring envious of the kisses and attention this man got from you every day. Something Bruce wished he got from you.

Sam: Sam got quiet when your boyfriend came around. He wouldn't look at anyone in the room and the moment he was gone and you were out of ear shot he would let loose a nasty burn. Out of envy he would say the meanest things about your boyfriend. While you weren't there if course.

Thor: Thor would always glare. When he got envious of the man who held your heart it would actually hurt him. He wanted you so badly that he just couldn't speak for fear of hurting a frail mortal man out of envy. Thor would often stare at you when you weren't looking and your boyfriend you catch him and kiss you just to rub it in Thor's face that you didn't belong to him.

Peter Parker: Nasty looks. Just the darkest and nastiest look he could get to show. He wouldn't ever try to sabotage your relationships but man did he hate every guy who even looked at you like they wanted you.

Loki: Loki was pretty open about his envious side and that was both surprising and not at the same time. He openly threatened your boyfriend when you were out of the room, he scared your boyfriend and he always taunted your boyfriend with the knives he always kept hidden under his sleeves. Quite the sight walking out of your room to see Loki pressing your boyfriend against the wall with a knife up to his throat.

Natasha: Yeah, no one knew she liked you. No one knew she envied the people who dated you. She was very good at hiding her emotions when it came to you but often days she would catch herself putting bullets into the photos of the people who get to have you.

Clint: You were oblivious to the fact that Clint wanted you. You didn't notice the bad looks he gave your boyfriend or the way his jaw would clench and unclench every time your boyfriend made a single sound. His eyes always seemed to get a little dark every time your gave your boyfriend a kiss and then saunter off. his arrow would spin in hand and he often thought it would be too easy let an arrow accidentally slip.

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honeycashmere · 3 years

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Why Don’t You Write Anymore?

Hi, in this post I’m going to be going in depth of why I don’t really write fics anymore and where have I been. I want to be transparent. First, I would like to say, sorry for posting like twice a year for Sandcastles. Secondly, I want to say I’m really grateful to people who still message me to this day about my writing. It still brighten up my day. When I started writing in 2016, I did it because it was a creative outlet. I wanted to write about certain things so other people wouldn’t have to. At the time a lot of Chris Evans fic writers were jumping ship and deleting their tumblrs. So I wrote Sandcastles as a little One Shot. I didn’t expect people to become so attached to it, including myself. It was great having a creative outlet but what many of you don’t know is that from 2016-2019 I was mentally suffering. I was deeply depressed it almost crippled my life. I would go to work and go home and I can’t even remember those years that well because of how depressed I was. It really took a huge toll on me, I was stuck in a job I hated but I did it anyway to pay my pills. I was stuck in a pattern and started to gain weight again. I lost maybe 50 pounds in 2014 and I was slowly gaining it back once my mental health started dealing. I noticed it and made me even more unhappy. Which is so crazy because I recently found work out pictures of myself from 2015 and remember how unhappy I was with how I looked and now I’m bigger and it’s like it doesn’t matter what size I was my depression stayed the same… Everything leading up to early 2019, I had to putting writing on a complete break. I had a real mental breakdown, not the kind you half joke about. I had a mental breakdown in the car in the parking lot of my doctors office. I decided to get checked up on with my entire well being. At the time I was also experiencing a neurological issue that I didn’t even know I had yet. I had several tests done on me so they can exam my brain because my two options where 1. It's either a tumor 2. It's a super rare condition that acts like a tumor. It was number #2 thankfully! That was from early 2019 to early summer 2019. I spent so much in and out of offices getting checked out monthly. I was busy with that. Then I realized, I haven’t had fun in a long time. So I had planned trips because my mental breakdown prior to discovering my issues was so shocking even for me. I had never experienced that before. I became even more conscious of my self sabotaging and spiraling nature. I wanted to change my life. I didn’t want to spend my time thinking anymore, I wanted to be all action. So I took control of my life. I started my own etsy. I had ran one years ago when I was in but it never amounted to anything really. I sadly lost passion and I even tried in 2017 to run it but couldn’t because I was depressed. That’s why I stopped writing around 2019.

When the pandemic happened, I lost my job which ended up being a blessing in disguise because I poured all my passion into my shop. I only DREAMED of working from home and wished upon it ever time I entered that place (my old job).

2020 and 2021 has been so hard for everyone. I know many people who have lost family members, including myself. My grandmother, my rock, passed away this summer. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’ve lost my father when I was in middle school and even that pain didn’t measure in the pain I felt when I lost my grandmother. My heart was broken. She spent two months in the hospital in and out of ICU. It was the slowest, most painful experience for my family. I cried for the entire month of July and August and thought how could I possibly cry anymore? While the years past, I realize the more we age the more we lose. My personal life has been such a rollercoaster (my whole life really)... Just like Sandcastles. When you’re living an unstable life and writing about it… While it helped me express my emotions it also kept me there in a negative state.

Sandcastles has really let me connect with people who I wouldn’t have connected with if it weren’t for the internet and me hitting the post button. I’m so eternally grateful! But I think I’m ready to end Sandcastles. I want to end it in a way that’s not disappointing to everyone who’s read it. I’m not sure when it’ll be ready. I don’t have a deadline. For now I would like to write more lighter, fun, smutty pieces to get myself back into writing. I felt Sandcastles became my crutch and limited me from writing about other people. I want to write about women, kpop idols, or f1 racers, shows like peaky blinders not just Chris Evans. I want to be able to take requests on all types of people and characters, different topics and so on to challenge myself as a writer. It’s just Sandcastles had way too much of a hold on me. It’s time to let go and start new things and not live in a vicious pattern of hurting. I hope you will still want to read my stories even after I end it.

Love you all and wishing you all the happiness you deserve.

You can call me,

Lux.

#update 2021

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verjubephotographics · 3 years

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A Whole New Level with Sahara, Tom Morello, and Anne Marie

Where are we in the world? Here’s getting back to writing and sharing an optimistic view of overcoming various hindrances in life and holding back in this time of pandemic. We’re fortunate enough to be back and now ready to give out some music news and at the same time staying healthy despite the impacts of Covid-19. We’re grateful for this opportunity and still we continue to pray for everyone’s safety around the globe.

It seems very timely that we have received this request to feature these three artists namely American singer Sahara, Rock & Roll icon and two-time Grammy winner Tom Morello and English singer Anne Marie.

Sahara Revives Jaya’s hit single ‘Dahil Ba Sa Kanya’

Sahara, renowned locally as the American Anthem Diva and the official singer for minor league NASCAR events, is full of admiration for OPM artists like Jaya, Regine Velasquez-Alcasid, Kyla, and Charice.

She has expressed her excitement in launching her solo career out of her lifelong love for OPM and Filipino culture.

"I want to be among the greatest singers in the world singing the most beautiful music in the world, for me that's the Philippines and OPM, of course. But even more so, It’s the quality of the vocalists and musicians. Even in Las Vegas, many of the best musicians are Filipinos and I’m blessed to be close to them and be able to work with them. I also consider Filipina vocalists to be some of the best in the world and I want to challenge myself and be among them."

Her cover of ‘Dahil Ba Sa Kanya’ officially marked her debut as a solo artist. It’s a phenomenal take on the Jaya hit original. Sahara’s unique, incredible delivery is soulful and resonates with many. You ache along with her voice as she delivers the lines “Dahil nga ba sa kanya / Nakalimutan mo aking sinta / Ang sabi mo noon hanggang wakas / Tayong dal'wa ay magsasama / Dahil nga ba sa kanya / Naririto ako't nag-iisa / Pag-ibig mo sa akin ba'y naglaho na.”

Sahara said learning ‘Dahil Ba Sa Kanya’ made her truly fall in love with OPM and Tagalog. "The language is such an integral part of the music. So much meaning and emotion in so few words. It’s truly beautiful."

Known as a world-class, classically trained singer, Sahara said singing Tagalog (OPM) songs are very challenging compared to other foreign (language) songs. "Definitely harder. There are several sounds that aren’t common in other languages. Especially the “ng” sound in words like 'tanging'".

And while she can belt out expertly in English, Spanish, French, Italian and German, Sahara loves Tagalog for the unique way it expresses emotions and meaning. "Why I love singing in Tagalog? It's the passion. So much passion. A single word can express so much joy or sorrow, and as an emotional artist it’s very fulfilling. To be honest, the passion in OPM is missing in so much of modern Western music. The world could learn something from OPM. I can’t imagine singing anything else."

For the meantime, Sahara is currently working on a soft album of original OPM with some of the best Filipino composers and arrangers.

For Sahara, she's just happy to have everyone supporting her music journey since the beginning.

"Salamat! Thank you! We have some fans who have been following for years even when we were only posting karaoke videos, and their support has meant everything. And then there were only a handful of people who heard me sing in Tagalog live for the first time, and it was their reaction that gave me the confidence and courage to record it. They changed my life. More so, we feel like the fans we have - and I hope my future fans - believe in the power of music. No matter what language or genre it is."

youtube

Sahara’s debut single ‘Dahil Ba Sa Kanya’ is now available on Spotify, YouTube Music, Apple Music, and other digital streaming platforms worldwide.

Tom Morello releases new single ‘Driving to Texas’ featuring Phantogram

Tom Morello is widely known as a barrier-breaking guitarist who continues to push the limits and prove the transformative power of music. Throughout his remarkable career, Morello has collaborated with everyone from Wu Tang Clan to Johnny Cash.

On The Atlas Underground Fire, as he did in 2018’s The Atlas Underground, Morello took a path into new sonic territory with the project’s breadth of talented collaborators, thus transforming his sound. With his guitar leading the way, Morello continues to create powerful alloys of different genres.

“I’d worked with Josh from Phantogram on my first Atlas Underground album and I was thrilled when he and Sarah reached out about collaborating on this record. This song is creepy as hell - a dark journey, a struggle for a tortured soul. The guitar solo needed to feel like a vengeful angel who has come down to decide the fate of the protagonist. Will they descend into the abyss or will they find redemption?

‘Driving To Texas,’ really shows the breadth of the music you’ll hear on this record. Sarah has one of the most haunting and beautiful voices of anyone singing today and Josh’s production is stylistically so fresh and eerie,” said Tom Morello.

Morello, the co-founder of Rage Against The Machine, Audioslave, and Prophets of Rage will release this forthcoming album The Atlas Underground Fire on October 15 by Mom + Pop Music. The album’s first single was the classic rock AC/DC rock anthem “Highway to Hell” featuring Morello, Bruce Springsteen and Eddie Vedder which debuted at #1 on Classic Rock radio.

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Featuring a jaw-dropping cast of collaborators including Bruce Springsteen, Eddie Vedder, Chris Stapleton, Mike Posner, Damian Marley, and more, Morello’s insane guitar playing will be on full display taking the instrument into the future and forging an alternative/rock/EDM masterpiece with all-time legends and cutting-edge firebrands.

Anne Marie drops brand new single ‘Kiss My (Uh Oh)’ with Little Mix

Anne-Marie has released her highly anticipated new album ‘Therapy,’ an inspiration from the girls’ joint love of the movie, Bridesmaids. The official video for ‘Kiss My (Uh Oh)’ was directed by Hannah Lux Davis, sees Anne-Marie in character as a bride-to-be who embarks on her hen-do overseas alongside her bridesmaids that include Little Mix’s Perrie, Leigh-Anne, and Jade. Brimming with laughter and chaos, the video trails the group of friends living life to the full, albeit without the pregnant Perrie and Leigh-Anne, who retire for the night before the real evening of partying begins for Anne-Marie, Jade and the rest of the crew.

A long-awaited collaboration that’s generated huge excitement amongst both Anne-Marie and Little Mix fanbases, ‘Kiss My (Uh Oh)’ has all the ingredients to become the break-up anthem of summer ’21.

Sampling Lumidee’s early 00’s R&B classic ‘Never Leave You (Uh Oh)’, the slick production and all-out, empowering track documents the liberating feeling that comes with walking away from a toxic relationship

It’s a narrative that has seen protagonist Anne-Marie earning huge success following the releases of ‘Ciao Adios’, ‘FRIENDS’ and ‘Alarm’. Anne-Marie co-wrote the track with Kamille (Little Mix, Headie One) and production from Lewis Thompson (David Guetta, Joel Corry) alongside Mojam (Summer Walker, Aitch).

With five UK Top 10 hits, five billion streams and a swarm of platinum-selling releases, Anne-Marie’s remarkable vocal range and every woman candour has made her one of the biggest artists on the planet. As she prepares to reach a whole new level with the release of her eagerly anticipated second album ‘Therapy,’ Anne-Marie celebrated its release by playing a global livestream show last August 7th.

Joined by her full live band, and set to feature dazzling visual production, the livestream will see Anne-Marie perform the entirety of her new album live and in-full for the first time, all delivered in stunning 4K resolution and Dolby Atmos sound via ON AIR’s brand-new, cutting-edge streaming platform.

“I cannot wait to a very special performance of my new album ‘Therapy’ for you all. I’ve missed performing so much and this is the closest thing we are going to get at the moment! So, I have to imagine you all in my mind and that you’re there with me, singing every lyric. We’re going to go on a rollercoaster rider of emotions, so don’t hold back! LET IT OUT!! Scream, shout, dance, cry and smile. I can’t wait.” says Anne-Marie.

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#Anne Marie #Sahara #Tom Morello #kiss my (uh oh)#little mix #phantogram #Jaya #Verjube Photographcics

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Best Returning British TV Shows from 2020

https://ift.tt/3h2mtbs

2020 brought many things with it. Brexit. Another iPhone. The 30th anniversary of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. A Crackerjack revival, the increasingly critical state of our burning planet, the inauguration of a Gangsta Granny rollercoaster at Thorpe Park, and a global pandemic that shut down life as we know it.

A mixed bag, all told.

One thing you can largely rely on in worrying times is television, and below are the top returning British shows that fought their way through the Covid-19 lockdown to come back in 2020.

After Life series 2

Release date: Friday 24th of April, Netflix

Ricky Gervais’ emotional Netflix comedy about a misanthrope widower (Gervais) struggling to cope after the death of his wife (Kerry Godliman) will return for a second six-episode run. Filming began in September 2019, and it arrived on Netflix in April. Diane Morgan and Mandeep Dhillon co-star.

Read more:the best stand-up specials on Netflix here.

Blood series 2

Release date: Monday 27th April, 9pm, Channel 5

2018 welcomed the arrival of Sophie Petzal’s award-winning Irish domestic thriller Blood, which starred Line Of Duty‘s Adrian Dunbar as a widower under suspicion when his estranged daughter Cat (Carolina Main) returns to the family fold. It was tightly scripted with a great cast and told a satisfying and emotional story. Read our interview with its creator here. Over in Ireland, Virgin Media One aired the second series in February 2020, and it’s available on-demand on My5 in the UK here.

Brassic series 2

Release date: Thursday 7th May, Sky One

Shameless’ Danny Brocklehurst and This Is England’s Joe Gilgun worked together on rambunctious Sky comedy Brassic, which is inspired by Gilgun’s own misadventures as an errant youth trying to make a few quid. Michelle Keegan and Damien Molony co-star. NOW TV subscribers can watch the first series here.

Read more: the British comedies on their way this year.

Call The Midwife series 10

No, we don’t have much call to talk about it here on Den Of Geek, but Heidi Thomas’ Call The Midwife remains a terrifically warm British drama with a spine of steel when it comes to standing up for the NHS and wading (often literally) through the blood-soaked reality of life for women and children. Series nine finished airing on Sunday nights on BBC One in February, and it’s already been renewed for a 10th and 11th series, taking it into 2022.

New British TV Series from 2020: BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Sky Dramas and More

By Louisa Mellor

New British comedy TV series for 2020: BBC, Channel 4, Sky, Dave, Amazon, Netflix

By Louisa Mellor

Famalam series 3

Comedy sketch show Famalam will be back for a third series and a Christmas special in 2020. Series two, which arrived on BBC Three in June 2019, brought more inventively absurd satire with it, and run number three will comprise returns to existing sketches and characters alongside new creations from Samson Kayo and the gang. Stream episodes on BBC iPlayer here.

Friday Night Dinner series 6

Release date: Friday March 27th, 10pm, Channel 4

Robert Popper’s family sitcom starring Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Tamsin Greig and Paul Ritter is making an imminent return to Channel 4 in 2020 for series six. It’s about the Goodmans, a Jewish family who gather every Friday evening for, well, the name says it all. Absurd, funny and silly, it’s a lovely bit of squirrel.

Ghosts series 2

This tremendously fun comedy arrived in 2019 from the cast of Horrible Histories and Yonderland. Happily, it’s been renewed by the BBC for both a second and third series, which guarantees us a dozen more episodes of spectral shenanigans as Alison and Mike (alive) try to keep the ancestral family home going while dealing with an influx of housemates from history (dead). Filming wrapped on series two in March 2020. Stream Ghosts series one on BBC iPlayer.

His Dark Materials series 2

The first series of BBC One/HBO’s Philip Pullman fantasy adaptation took us on an epic journey north as young Lyra (Dafne Keen) travelled in search of her missing friend, and discovered a great deal more besides. A second eight-episode series adapting The Subtle Knife, book two in Pullman’s original trilogy, is in the works and expected to arrive at the end of 2020. A third potentially longer run adapting The Amber Spyglass is yet to be confirmed but that’s almost certainly just a formality at this stage. Read our spoiler-filled series one reviews and more here.

Home series 2

Aired in: February 2020

Rufus Jones’ timely comedy about a family who inadvertently smuggle a Syrian asylum seeker into the UK returning from a French holiday was recommissioned in August 2019. This warm-hearted sitcom starring Jones, Rebekah Staton and Youssef Kerkour was a little bit drowned out in the schedules (it aired the same week as series two of huge hits Fleabag and Derry Girls) and deserves more applause.

Inside No. 9 series 5

Aired in: February 2020

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton continue to produce excellence in their inventive, ambitious comedy-drama anthology series Inside No. 9, and its fifth run was no different. Six new half-hour episodes, in which Shearsmith and Pemberton were joined by a raft of co-stars including David Morrissey and Jenna Coleman, aired this spring on BBC Two. Read our spoiler-filled episode reviews here. And listen to the creators’ deep-dive on each episode in their ‘Inside Inside No. 9’ BBC Sounds podcast here.

Keeping Faith series 3

Celia Imrie has joined the cast of BBC Cymru Wales/S4C’s bilingual Welsh drama Keeping Faith (Un Bore Mercher in its original language) for its third and final series. Imrie will join lead Eve Myles as solicitor Faith Howells in an as-yet undisclosed role. The domestic thriller’s first series, if you remember was a huge word-of-mouth hit, eventually making its way to BBC One after unprecedented public interest. The third series will air in 2020 on S4C, and then arrive across the UK on BBCiPlayer from February 2021. Here’s our series one, episode one review.

Killing Eve series 3

Release date: Sunday April 26th.

Well, it had to come back after that cliff-hanger, didn’t it? Based on Luke Jennings’ Codename Villanelle series of novels, international spy thriller Killing Eve has been renewed for a third run. As is now traditional, there’s a new showrunner in charge for the third time around; Phoebe Waller-Bridge handed over to Emerald Fennell who has handed over to See and Fear The Walking Dead‘s Suzanne Heathcote. Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh star. Read our reviews and more here.

Last Tango In Halifax series 5

Aired in: February 2020

Happy Valley and Gentleman Jack creator Sally Wainwright returned to the series that really made her name – BBC One’s Last Tango In Halifax – for a fifth series. It’s the story of former childhood sweethearts Celia and Alan (Anne Reid and Derek Jacobi) who reconnect in their seventies and remarry, knotting together their families led by Sarah Lancashire’s formidable Caroline and Nicola Walker’s hot-headed Gillian. (See our series one to four recap here, and our episode one review here.)

Liar series 2

Release date: Monday 2nd March, ITV1

ITV rewarded this Jack and Harry Williams psychological thriller starring Downton Abbey’s Joanne Froggatt and Horatio Hornblower’s Ioan Gruffudd with a second series renewal in 2018. Expect more twists, turns and talking points.

Man Like Mobeen series 3

Aired in: January 2020

Guz Khan’s terrific Man Like Mobeen returned for a third series on BBC Three this January. It stars Khan as a reformed Brummie drug dealer trying to make an honest living while raising his little sister and boasts a hilarious ensemble cast. Stream all three series now on BBC iPlayer.

New British comedy TV series from 2019: BBC, Sky, Channel 4, E4, Dave, Gold

By Louisa Mellor

New British TV series from 2019: BBC, ITV, Channel 4 dramas and more

By Louisa Mellor

Mortimer And Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series 3

A fishing show may seem like a strange choice for this list of mostly high-profile dramas and comedies, but Gone Fishing deserves as much celebration as any of them. That’s thanks to Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse’s natural chemistry as two long-time friends, both of whom have been forced to contemplate their mortality in recent years due to serious heart problems. It’s fishing, yes, but it’s also chat, silliness and genuine human warmth.

Red Dwarf feature-length special

Release date: Thursday 9th April, 9pm, Dave.

Official confirmation from Dave that the boys from the Dwarf were returning for a 90-minute special in 2020 arrived in October 2019. Titled ‘The Promised Land’, it sees the boys from the Dwarf deal with a tyrannical cat leader and three breakaway cat clerics who worship Lister as a god. Along with the special, which is due to air in April, Dave will also be airing retrospectives celebrating the show’s long history on the BBC and since its revival. Here’s what we know so far.

Save Me Too

Release date: Wednesday 1st April, Sky Atlantic and NOW TV

Written by and starring The Walking Dead and Line Of Duty’s Lennie James, Sky Atlantic’s Save Me was one of 2018’s top shows. The crime drama set in a South London estate among a cast of lived-in characters played by the likes of Suranne Jones, Jason Flemyng, Susan Lynch and Stephen Graham, was such a critical success, a second series commission arrived hot on the finale’s heels. Lesley Manville has joined the cast this time around, which is a real treat. Read more about it here.

Tin Star series 3

This will be the third and final instalment of the Jim Worth story on Sky and Amazon. Creator Rowan Joffe will wrap up his tale of an English police officer (Tim Roth) who relocates his family to the Canadian Rockies for a fresh start, but who finds that he can’t stop his old life bleeding into the new.

Read more: Tim Roth interview: Tin Star, Reservoir Dogs and more.

The Crown series 4

Release date: Sunday the 15th of November, Netflix

Olivia Colman took over from Clare Foy as HRH Elizabeth II in The Crown series three. The time jump saw Matt Smith replaced by Tobias Menzies as Prince Philip and Helena Bonham-Carter take the reins from Vanessa Kirby as Princess Margaret, with Gillian Anderson playing Margaret Thatcher. Series four is expected to arrive in late 2020. Read our spoiler-free series three review here.

The Last Kingdom series 4

Release date: Sunday 26th April, Netflix

Filming started on season four in April 2019 and the first look images were released back in July 2019, and now it’s finally here. The Last Kingdom series four adapts the next two books in Bernard Cornwell’s Saxon Stories series, The Pagan Lord and The Empty Throne. Starring Alexander Dreymon as Viking-raised-Saxon Uhtred of Bebbenberg, it’s an action-packed historical drama filled with wit and characters to love. Read our spoiler-filled episode reviews and more.

There She Goes series 2

After receiving critical acclaim for its first run and a Bafta for Jessica Hynes (who is brilliant in this, as she is in most things), There She Goes is returning. Shaun Pye’s excellent family comedy-drama has been renewed for a second series that will air on BBC Two instead of its original home on BBC Four. David Tennant and Jessica Hynes play the parents of Rosie, a little girl with severe learning disabilities in Pye’s unsentimental and honest autobiographically inspired series. Read more about why we loved series one here.

The Split series 2

Aired in: February 2020 (all episodes on iPlayer)

Abi Morgan’s legal family drama starring Nicola Walker (Unforgotten, Last Tango In Halifax) returned for another six episode series early this year. It saw Hannah deal with the aftermath of her night with Christie, while at work she handled the divorce of a high-profile couple with an abusive husband. There’s no word yet on whether a third series has been commissioned, but series two certainly didn’t leave things resolved for the characters.

The Trip series 4: The Trip To Greece

Release date: Tuesday 3rd March 2020, Sky One

Filming began on the fourth series of Michael Winterbottom’s The Trip in 2019, and the new series sees foodies Steve Coogan and Rob Bryden travelling around the dining establishments of Greece while they swap impersonations and provide a glimpse into fictionalised versions of themselves. While the first two series aired on BBC Two, from series three onwards The Trip made the move to Sky Atlantic.

Taskmaster series 10

Joining the Taskmaster and little Alex Horne for series nine of Dave’s excellent Taskmaster were Jo Brand, David Baddiel, Katy Wix, Rose Matafeo and Ed Gamble. It’s all change for series ten onwards as Taskmaster moves from Dave to Channel 4. The new series is expected to air in October 2020. Read more about the move and the new series commissions here.

This Country series 3

Release date: Monday 17th of February, BBC Three 7pm

Following 2018’s one-off special, the Mucklowes are back for a third and final series of mockumentary comedy This Country. That’s another six episodes from creator-siblings Daisy May and Charlie Cooper, who are back starring as feckless cousins Kerry and Kurtan in the “typical Cotswolds village” they call home. Series three might be its best yet.

Read more: the new British comedy series of 2019.

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itskimtaehyung · 7 years

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question tags

I've been tagged in a few of these so I'm just gonna lump them together

if i tagged u in one of these and you want to do the others just do em and say i tagged you

Rules: Complete the survey and tag five people when you are finished

i was tagged by @baekhyeun 💕 (a lot of our answers are the same n i was just like did i tag myself???)

1. Are you named after someone?

nope

2. When was the last time you cried?

um i think it was last week but that was the first time i cried in like 2 years

3. Do you like your handwriting?

sometimes when its neat

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?

what classifies something as a “lunch meat”?? idk i dont really eat meat that much

5. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

um idk sometimes I'm annoying af

6. Do you use sarcasm?

when do i not lmao

7. Do you still have your tonsils?

i think so?? is everyone born with tonsils?? because i never had mine out

8. Would you bungee jump?

um no i can't even do rollercoasters

9. What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Oreo O’s and French Toast Crunch!!

10. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

If I don’t have to then i won't but if i can’t take off the shoe without untying it i will

11. Do you think you’re a strong person?

i guess? I dont lift or anything but i can draw a bow with a 40 lb draw weight. that probably doesnt mean anything to a lot of ppl lmao

12. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Hazelnut!!

13. What is the first thing you notice about people?

hair? face? idk

14. Red or pink?

Pink!!!

15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself?

um. I've changed a lot of myself to be how i want it so i dont really know? probably my legs

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?

Im wearing black pants and no shoes

17. What is the last thing you ate?

mac n cheese

18. What are you listening to right now?

i have my headphones in but nothing is playing. I should change that

19. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

pink? or maybe black

20. Favorite smell?

👀 noir tease from victoria’s secret aka the one that jungkook used

21. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

someone called to ask me how much I'm paying for electricity each month

22. Favorite sport to watch?

I used to be really into baseball but i haven't watched a sport in like 5 years

23. Hair color?

black and pink

24. Eye color?

Brown

25. Do you wear contacts?

nope

26. Favorite food to eat?

carbs and sugar

27. Scary movies or comedy?

comedy

28. Last movie you watched?

hidden figures

29. What color of shirt are you wearing?

grey with the nasa logo on it

30. Summer or winter?

they both have appealing aspects to me??

31. Hugs or kisses?

both?

32. What book are you currently reading?

omg i haven't read a book since like 2015

33. Who do you miss right now?

my friends. kim taehyung

34. What is on your mouse pad?

i have a laptop so i dont have a mouse pad??

35. What is the last TV program you watched?

Cheese in the Trap

36. What is the best sound?

Jungkook’s laugh, tae’s giggle

37. Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

i only know kpop lmao

38. What is the furthest you have ever traveled?

Im from california in the US and the farthest I’ve gone is Vietnam

39. Do you have a special talent?

What’s considered special?? I'm a girl of many talents I'm p much Jungkook except i can't dance

40. Where were you born?

the US

i tag: @sonshinejimin @taenity @jungkookbunbun @hobikookie @vanillalattaes

5 things tag~

i was tagged by @bbangsthetic 💕

5 things you’ll find in my bag

lip tint

tissues

wallet

a granola bar or pack of trail mix

lip balm

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

my bts shrine (i mean what I'm not crazy)

my bed

bts posters

a pile of clothes on a chair

5 things I’ve always wanted to do

travel

get a tattoo

be able to drive on the freeway??

be good at everything

eat whatever i want without getting fat

5 things that make me feel happy

kim taehyung

bts

my best friends

food

boba tea

5 things I’m currently into

kim taehyung

food

kpop

writing

drawing

5 things on my to-do list

draw things !

write things !

get a job at school

become an engineer!

love my friends

I tag: @qtaes @ttaegiis @slutlingar @jungkookpd idk im shit at tagging ppl

Get To Know Me Tag

tagged by @aichan11 💕, and someone else i can't remember who???

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: coffee 2. Phone call: this lady called to ask me how much I'm paying for electricity each month 3. Text message: to my friend bc i saw a Rude Jimin™️ 4. Song you listened to: Without You (chinese version) - NCT U 5. Time you cried: like last week

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: uhh i dont think so 10. Been depressed: constantly tbh 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: black, pink, blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes! lots of tumblr friends and i made a couple of my irl best friends in the last year 16. Fallen out of love: I've never really been in love with anyone but tae tbh 17. Laughed until you cried: yes. a lot 18. Found out someone was talking about you: like in a bad way? no 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yup! once i graduated high school only a few people stuck around 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: um no

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 23. Do you have any pets: no 😢 24. Do you want to change your name: i used to hate my name but in third grade my teacher said it was fancy so no 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went to see BTS with my best friend!!! 26. What time did you wake up: this morning i woke up at like 6am bc i got the notification for namjoon’s vlive but i went to sleep after and woke up at like 10 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking to my friend. probably about memes 28. Name something you can’t wait for: moving in with one of my best friends!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 mins ago before she walked out of the room 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i enjoyed exercise!!! I'm lazy af!!! 31. What are you listening right now: the Cherry Bomb mini album from NCT 127 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: not that i remember?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: tbh my friend and i are trying to work out the furniture arrangement for our apartment and its very frustrating 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: i have a bunch on my arms and a few on my face. 36. Mark/s: um i dont think i have any? 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a singer or actress 38. Haircolor: black and pink 39. Long or short hair: Long. as long as possible 40. Do you have a crush on someone: does a thirst count? bc I'm currently thirsting after someone but idk if it’s an emotional attachment 41. What do you like about yourself: idk I'm vain af so almost everything 42. Piercings: i have three lobe piercings in my left ear and a double helix and 3 lobes on my right ear. so a total of 8. I'm planning on getting a helix on my left soon 43. Bloodtype: i actually dont know?? 44. Nickname: Kiwi, Adri, A 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Aries 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: i dont really watch tv 49. Tattoos: no but i want one!! 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: just wisdom teeth 52. Hair dyed in different color: yup! pink. and i used to have red hair for like 2.5 years 53. Sport: i dont move very much but I'm pretty good at archery 55. Vacation: I'm going to hawaii in august and possibly LA for KCON 56. Pair of trainers: i have a pair of Nikes

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I'm really picky but i also love a lot of things?? idk 58. Drinking: tea or coffee 25/8 59. I’m about to: catch up on all the things I've been tagged in 61. Waiting for: moving!! 62. Want: $$$ 63. Get married: only if i like them enough 64. Career: my dream is to be an engineer at nasa

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: both!! 66. Lips or eyes: Lips!! 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: i prefer people my age but I'm open to anything as long as its not too big of a difference 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach?? i guess?? idk 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i guess 72. Hook up or relationship: depends on my mood tbh. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. I'm scared of everything tbh

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes omg i can't find my glasses but thats okay bc my optometrist says i dont need them anymore 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: depends on the person 79. Broken someone’s heart: id like to think i haven't?? 80. Had your heart broken: nope 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: no 83. Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: sometimes 86. Love at first sight: sometimes. 87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss in the first date: yes 89. Angels: idk

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I have three but i dont wanna be putting their names on the internet 91. Eyecolor: Dark brown 92. Favorite movie: i dont really watch movies

i tag: @sonshinejimin idk anyone else I'm too lazy to tag

82 Truths

i was tagged by @sevenkookiejars 💕

name: Adrienne blood type: ??? nickname(s): kiwi r/s: single zodiac sign: aries pronouns: she/her favorite tv shows: um i dont really have one long or short hair: as long as possible height: 159-160 ish cm

do you have a crush on someone: i dont think so??

what do you like about yourself: um almost everything tbh right or left handed: right list of three favourite colors: pink, black, blue

right now: eating: nothing drinking: nothing i’m about to: eat dinner listening to: Cherry Bomb - NCT 127 kids: no thanks get married: right now?? no but maybe in the future if i like them enough?? career: right now?? no

most recent: drink: coffee phone call: some lady asked me how much a pay for electricity song you listened to: Summer 127 - NCT 127

have you ever: dated someone twice: no… been cheated on: nope kissed someone and regretted it: no… lost someone special: i guess been depressed: constantly been drunk and thrown up: nope kissed a stranger: nope had glasses or contacts: glasses for like the first 18 years of my life before i got a new optometrist who told me i dont need them??? had sex on the first date: no broken someone’s heart: not that i know of turned someone down: ya cried when someone died: no fallen for a friend: no

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yes!! fallen out of love: nope laughed until you cried: yes met someone who changed you: yes found out who your true friends were: yup found out someone was talking about you: dont think so kissed someone on your fb list: no

which is better: lips or eyes: lips hugs or kisses: both shorter or taller: taller romantic or spontaneous: both sensitive or loud: idr what i answered earlier but sensitive i think?? or a little bit of both hookup or relationship: depends on the person troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

first: best friend: her name was marie i was in kindergarten surgery: wisdom teeth sport i joined: archery vacation: canada

do you believe in: yourself: sometimes miracles: sometimes love at first sight: sometimes heaven: dont think so?

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: all of them do you have any pets: no do you want to change your name: no what did you do for your last birthday: went to see bts with my best friend!! what time did you wake up today: like 6am and then i went back to sleep and woke up at 10 what were you doing last night at midnight: talking to my friend last time you saw your mom: she's sitting across from me right now what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i wasn't so lazy or scared of everything have you ever talked to a person named tom: no what’s getting on your nerves: i answered this earlier

i tag: idk anyone who wants to do it

#mine #text #tag thingy #about me

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hgpelite-blog · 5 years

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Hi! My name is:

Today let me begin by introducing myself to you. My name (now) is Hillary Giuda-Philpott and I am an alcoholic. NO, no Im not, thats supposed to be funny. My ex-husband IS an alcoholic but that is a tale for another time. I will introduce myself as follows:

-Wife

-Mother

-Entrepreneur

-Coach

-Competitive bodybuilder: Today we start from the beginning of this journey. It has been 4 years in the making and to be perfectly honest, today I am tired of it. I don't always love it. And I am hungry. But... I keep going. Why? Because I am insane? Or maybe stubborn? Determined! That's it. At least that is what I tell myself.

In the beginning I was 29 years old and a brand new gym rat! I didn't really know much of anything about bodybuilding. I learned a little bit about macros, losing weight, and how to lift weights (via youtube videos) and like so many that have come before me I became totally obsessed!! I was already a WELL established cardio queen at my local YMCA so it came as a surprise, for some, to see me in the weight room. I do have giant balls though, so naturally I wasn't intimidated. I also have a lovely RBF! So people, for the most part, left me alone! Not long after my iniatition in the weight room I left the YMCA for 'The Pound' which was where the real bodybuilders were, no offense Norwich YMCA, and clearly where I belonged! I truly did feel right at home at The Pound, and this place was like no other gym I had ever seen... not that I had seen that many, BUT... The owners were (and still are) straight up GOALS! They both train like savages and have the know how to back up their skills! And they actually WANT to help their people grow which is one of the things that set them apart to this day! Shortly after I began training there I was asked "have you ever thought of competing?" Well no. Not sure what that even is... I think I even asked "what's that?". Then googled and figured YEAH Im gonna do THAT! I can do that!! And it was off to the races!!

I think that epic moment was some time in August of 2016... and I took the stage that October in Syracuse NY! I believe my class had 5 girls and I actually came in 2nd! I remember thinking I was going to either trip or pass out... maybe both. But luckily I did neither of those things. My feedback from that show was to smile! Looking at the pictures now makes me cringe... like most of us when we look at our first show pics. No joke though I literally looked like I was being tortured up there. After that show I decided to do the Arnold Amateur in Columbus OH (yea, that is me! From sharing the stage with 4 people to the 2nd largest show in the world...). Just a month or so into my Arnold prep I decided I was in over my head and hired a coach. The first coach I had ever hired! Her name is Casey Samsel and I was totally obsessed with her from the start. I still am in fact.. but I think her, and my growth through her, is going to be a whole other blog.

I took the Arnold stage that March looking better than I did in Syracuse but not nearly good enough. I was still in the stage of "doing this for fun" and "now I get to eat" so I was ok with not placing top 10. But far more importantly... something happened to me on that stage... and Ill take a few minutes to get into that now. Why not.

In May of 2016 I left my college sweetheart & now ex-husband. I had my reasons and if anyone really cares I will write about that at some point as well. When I left him I took with me the blame and a barrage of rumors about my relationship with my NOW husband. And like that cocky RBF gym rat I gave zero fucks. My husband, Mark, was and is my pilar of strength. It was through him that I began to find myself and who I really am. And clearly, because people, this somehow equated to we were having an affair. I think I am digressing so I'll move on. And none of that is the point. ANYWAY. May 2016 to March 2017 was rough. VERY rough. I learned who my Ex really was. I learned how much he lied to me and how bad his drinking problem really was. I learned that he wasn't going to change, and that things were really over. I, like that country song said, found out who my friends were! I also lost half of my family (in terms of support.. no one died). I had some very low moments in those months... but somehow I made it to that stage in March 2017. I remember meeting Casey for the first time at this show. And she really is goals. My BFF Jess and I were just staring at her! We were AMAZED by her physique! Like two little kids looking at a real life Unicorn!! She led us past the security officers with their dogs, past THE ARNOLD STAGE, and into the backstage area. That is one of my very few vivid memories of that day. As crazy as it sounds the memories that day don't all stand out... and maybe that is because what happened when I stepped on that stage. And no, I didn't face plant.

I remember being hit in the face with those lights, and unlike my Syracuse showing, it lit me up inside and out. Mark and Jess were in the audience and they were just about all I had at that point in time! I had the love and support of my father also but he wasn't there.. the bikinis are a little small for his comfort level so he cheers me on from afar. I walked out to that center box and it happened. An epiphany! I had gone through months of physical and emotional struggle and found myself in Columbus. Literally. I had found myself. This was who I was meant to be!! I had found a way to channel my pain and struggle and turn into my very best version of myself! (Insert some cliche saying about a butterfly). Then and there was when I decided competing was part of who I am. It was my struggle that got me through. Competing gave me something to focus on other than the utter chaos of my divorce and all the drama that went along with it. My prep was the one thing that I could control and in those moments on stage it all paid off. Even now as I remember that day my fire to succeed is growing stronger.

Being a competitive bodybuilder is truly one hell of a rollercoaster and I don't know that many people put that out there. What you see a lot of on social media is the gorgeous women, all shredded, in totally blinged out bikini's pumping up eating a donut (or a rice cake if you keep it clean). And that is the glamorous and exciting side of the sport! What you don't see or hear so much about is the shit that is going on, in my head, right now. Right at this very moment. It is a constant battle of your will! It is some kind of cross between insanity and determination.. on steroids (no pun intended, and no I don't use gear). The kind of hunger and exhaustion you experience during contest prep isn't anything that can be put into words. It is all consuming some days. Today I have spent my free hours working as much as I can to keep from counting down the minutes until I eat again! And my meals, though I am being fed pretty well, barely coat my ribs and really just piss my body off... making me MORE hungry than before I ate. And I know, cry about it right? There are literally people starving in the world and I choose to do this to myself.

The trouble, lately, is I feel like I lost my fire! I forgot about that soft, underdeveloped girl, who fell in love with this sport! My goal is always in my heart and on my mind. I WILL WIN MY PRO CARD! It has been all consuming for the last 3 years! My life revolves around my sport and my goal! But today these girls (and I do mean girls... most in their early 20's) are FIRE! And here I am, 33, arriving late to the game! And I find myself asking will I EVER GET THERE? Or will I just torture myself until I finally decide to give up. But there... is the problem. I can't give up. I will never be able to live with myself if I do. So in these moments I try to remember my why. And I go back to that stage in Columbus. Today and each day I will follow my plan. I will give it hell. I feel like I have come full circle and my time is coming. I made my rounds (and again, that will be in a blog to come), and I have found my way back to my first coach, Casey. She brought the true athlete out of me and she is the one who will take me to the IFBB pro league. My time will come! I WILL be like Charlie Brown and I will never give up.

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apriltwentythree · 6 years

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do you want to know what my favorite neurotransmitter is…? Acetylcholine.

the other day I was at the local book store, and ended up browsing the sports section. i noticed this book ‘the performance cortex’ ; there was a chapter in it titled ’motor hunter’ focussing on Steph Curry. I am a Curry fangirl and can consume almost anything about him, even this silly Water filter Ad! anyways, i stood there for 20 minutes reading about his brain, and about how he does what he does on the playing court! the book in general attempts to speak about how Sports-Scouting is increasingly relying on neuroscience. and personally, i felt it may be an even better approach than the Moneyball-like Sabermetrics. (Moneyball btw, is one of my all-time favorite sports movies.)

later, i walked out with the realization that i am now officially a Neuro-junkie!

it is after being a part of the Brain-Gut-MentalHealth group project, that I started to obsess over the Vagal Nerve, for starters.

real quick, it goes like this….Cranial nerves are those that emerge directly from the brain, rather than from the spinal cord. there are 12 pairs, responsible for carrying sensory info to the brain, and motor signals to muscles and organs. Vagus nerve— sometimes referred to as Vagal nerve—is the 10th and the longest one, originating in the medulla oblongata and is named for its wandering path through the body. it is like a superhighway that handles sensing the internal environment of the body and regulating it, like lowering heart rate, constricting the bronchi of the lungs, reducing blood pressure, to name just a few. one of the easiest bio-hacks they say, in order to keep the Vagus nerve in tip-top-shape, is to take cold showers in the morning.

now, if you are a neuroscientist or neurologist or, a superior-Neuro-junkie reading this blog and say hey, some of your understanding here is not exactly right, i would just say i’m sure you’d know better! and will agree with you happily. on the other hand, if you are someone who thinks you are decently-smart but usually take your brain for granted, and cannot self-influence, ever, to read up on generic brain stuff unless you get Alzheimers some day, then this blog is decently-sufficient for your lukewarm-curiosity!

anyways, the Vagal nerve has been extensively studied; there is this dork-geek-nerd-joke that only dorks-geeks-nerds will find funny ‘what happens in Vagus doesn’t stay in Vagus but affects many aspects of emotionality and neurobiology, ha ha’!

to say more…lets say, you are hungry, the gut sends a hormonal trigger to the brain (Ghrelin) and when you are feeling full, it sends another (Leptin). but, now they say there is a neural circuit from the gut cells—dubbed Neuropods— that have nerve endings, which can directly communicate to the brain through Vagal neural synapses. and this overturns many ideas around appetite and satiety! say, you are into serious-dieting. taking appetite suppressants may not work as they usually target the slow-acting hormonal route to the brain, which can take up minutes to hours. but, as the instant-connection Vagal neural circuit takes about 100 milliseconds or less, targeting the Vagus may work better at losing all those unhealthy, add-on pounds!

the Vagal gives legitimacy to the idea of ‘gut feeling’ as a sixth sense, and I doubt if any of the other nerves can beat the magic!

all my Vagalmania led me to Acetylcholine and, made me think about it in context with Epinephrine, the rollercoaster neurotransmitter. now, the story there is….um, independent of the Central Nervous System, the Autonomic Nervous system houses two subsystems — Sympathetic and Parasympathetic—speaking really simplified!

Sympathetic translates to “Adrinergic”. Neurotransmitters — Epinephrine, Norepinephrine— are behind your high heart rate in both super-pumped-up situations and heart-in-the-mouth situations. and on March 31st, guess it was Sympathetic pathways that totally ran the show! This system does have a say in most Akhlat Latifa feelings that knock us over, be it beauty-weed mode or fighter-jet mode. Parasympathetic translates to “Cholinergic”. Neurotransmitter — Acetylcholine— slows down your heart rate and makes you stay in calm, comfortable situations. It’s Parasympathetic pathways that make you want to socializie and say hello. like today May 10th, which also happens to be my mother’s birthday. somewhere I read, it’s the myelinated Vagus B-fibers emerging from the Nucleus Ambiguus inside the Medulla O, that takes care of all the cholinergic responsibilities.

anyways, reading up on the lovely Acetylcholine made me think about the month of April which was like a hangover-recharge month for me, with my Parasympathetic totally working up the scene. Lot of peace, lot of beauty. Zero rollercoaster rides, zero adrenaline rushes. Thank you vagal B-fibers.

but, guess I also slightly miss my adrenergic lifestyle of the past one year, with all the nonstop-gaming, and what not….

the whole world must be engaged in all kinds of interesting things happening around. but while THIS socmedia-window-to-the-world stays super-inactive, I keep on staying in some kind of cozy, mental time-warp that I have taken quite a liking to. it’s always good to need less, I guess. and to feel oh-so-minimalistic.

Anita Desai popped up inside my head the other day, and I was reminded of one of her fiction works. in the story, all her protagonists play games at twilight, and one of them goes into a time-warp of a few hours, as he stays inside a shed next to the garage, while the others keep being engaged in all kinds of interesting games happening on the lawn around the house.

aside from being a neuro-junkie, I have always been a creative-junkie. so taking cue from Desai’s writerly imagination, I felt like “playing derivative” at her work, and go inside the head of her time-warped protagonist. and to see what I can pick up from that last weekend of March, what I can pick up from what’s on there, at this socmedia-window-to-the-world!

and there’s scope for gaming...

but let me write a quick disclaimer: bcos of KL’s celebrity clout, all the lovely colors were color-gamed by all the world more so than ever, and as imagination-inventor, AK always thinks this is immensely cool and it gives her an inception-orgasm. but, since the colors were also endorsed to crazy-overkill on this socmedia-window-to-the-world ---a lot of times in intolerance and with spite and hatred even--- AK had given away all colors sometime back in February, as part of “The Curse of Raghu”, thus making a statement of protest against the misappropriation of disability-imagination in a happily-ableist world. AK truly remains in a BnW world.

okay then, game-time!

Reference Tweets from Mar 30th:

https://twitter.com/CarDroidusMax/status/1112035121916493826

https://twitter.com/CarDroidusMax/status/1112034751521665029

#lawpoint1 -- back in August sometime, when AK/KL had first begun sparring on SM, AK had shared this Malayalam film clip and KL had shared back this ICICI Bank Ad. in both, the color is predominantly red. it is quite implicit that it is only blue in a red-disguise; there wasn’t any doubts whatsoever back then. this fact is significant as this was the first time AK/KL had ever faced-off. so if she so wishes, AK can re-possess any color. example, the red and yellow on the KSRTC bus in the above reference photo, KSRTC bus and the green in the twitter profile Cover image, the sort-of-purple on the shirt of the guy on the road in same Cover image, and the colors on Capt. Cavey DP, even! Winner takes all.

#lawpoint2 --- there was supreme court judgment sometime in September that since Karthiyayini had 2 ‘Y’s in her name, any Y in Kerala could be used to AK’s requirement. back then, as a hat-tip to this landmark judgement, the aYYappan-sabarimala ruckus had followed. so, since we already have a precedence regarding settlement of Y disputes, all 26 alphabet can be monopolized by AK just like in the board game. to say explicitly, AK can call Monopoly on the lovely district of waYanad or kottaYam or any other place for that matter. this rule is especially valid on this socmedia-window-to-the-world as the AK/KL combat had initially also begun by involving the lovely malayalam actor parvathY thiruvothu.

In clear conclusion, about the two reference tweets from KL on Mar 30, AK would like to say -- അതേ, വളരെ ഭംഗിയുണ്ട് :)

this out-of-sync and strenuous “comeback” above is the equivalent of how in her fiction, Desai writes: Ravi bawled, shaking his head so that big tears flew. “Raghu didn’t find me. I won, I won…”

all ക്രിയേറ്റിവ് മണ്ണാങ്കട്ട gaming aside, it’s also some Desai appreciation…her way of writing… sensitive imagery about gamer protagonists and their gaming worlds! It’s good how sensitivity is not just romantic fiction-feature anymore, at least for me! growing up, my mother used to sometimes romanticize my ‘differences’ using the word apoorvaraagam, and that was that! Most of us are like her I guess, rarely ever intuitively-acknowledging the many differences in how different people navigate the same world.

the Neuro-junkie in me thinks that Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) seems to be what Desai’s timewarp-ed protagonist is going through; temperamental personality trait involving increased sensitivity and deeper cognitive processing of social and emotional stimuli. apparently, people with a high measure of SPS make up about 15-20% of the population. they say it is the gene variants of ADRA2b and 5-HTTLPR that lead to the emotionally enhanced vividness in perception.

It’s good that making sense of these will influence how we raise our children; help make lives, more tolerant and relaxed for them!

hey KL, what is your son like? does he still prefer football to cricket despite his sub-continental genes? is he old enough to have a favorite football team? someday, will you be teaching him to hack-stalk women? :) .…. my son is right now in a freezer, probably waiting for his uterus implantation by year-end! Johan is expected to default-love soccer thanks to namesake Johan Cruyff.... let’s see how that sports inheritance goes!

p.s. In this Malayalam film scene, Nanda (Revathy) tries to humor her hard-stalker Naren (identical twin no.1 Lalettan). He somehow has all the A-Z on her, while she knows next to nothing about him and just keeps going in circles trying to figure out.....

I have always loved this song from Mayamayooram. Janakiamma singing ഇതളടർന്ന വഴിയിലൂടെ വരുമോ വസന്തം....? is easily among her best! Also, I will never really know why Shobhana is not superstar-Shobhana; she is effortless in everything…. ഒടുക്കത്തെ പേട്രിയാർക്കി തന്നെ, അല്ലാതെന്താ?!

#CLASSYwomen

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