#the conflicts were so nuanced that there was no clear wrong to the perspective they took

[watcher0033]

I LOVE NIMONA SO GD MUCH. WTF ANIMATION GOLDEN ERA. 😭😭😭🙏🏼

It was the perfect movie. It was so good. “I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes I just wanna let ‘em” MADE ME FUCKING SOB ACTUAL TEARS THE HORRIFIC REALIZATION WHEN SHE WAS NEAR TO THE STATUE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO DESTROY THE SYMBOL OF OPPRESSION AND BIGOTRY But of course. Of course, it was worse than that. It was a gigantic painful trek to an end to that would be less painful than what she’d been thru NIMONA U GAVE ME SECONDHAND TRAUMA IM FUCKING CRYING GDI. And it took. And all it took was one single person to see and accept her for who she is and suddenly she was phoenix rising ready to take on the world and rewrite the narrative. Just the one person to make her believe and be believed in return. WTF THIS MOVIE IM GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN WHEN IM NOT GONNA BE HANGOVER FROM FUCKING EMOTIONS OHGOD

[burst-of-iridescent]

I’ve been reading a series where a guy is in a near identical situation to Katara was in The Southern Raiders. But what I find interesting is that no one really tries to stop him and the fandom considers it completely justified. I can’t help but think despite it being two different series and fandoms that Katara’s gender has at least something to do with this. When a male character wants to seek revenge and kill the murderer to do it, the narrative and fans justify it but when it’s a female character she’s vilified, seen as out of control and letting her emotions get the better of her. I hate when people say Aang was right to say what he did and try to stop Katara from making her own choice. It doesn’t help that we know Bryke is misogynistic based on well everything to do with their female characters post series after they didn’t have the talented writers who actually understood the characters helping them. And sure I know Bryke themselves didn’t write The Southern Raiders but we know from script leaks that there were more shippy Zutara moments that were cut and I think we know who’s to blame for that. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they still influenced the more problematic parts of that episode. Such as Aang and Katara never talking about or resolving their conflict, Sokka calling Aang wise beyond his years and never talking about or resolving his side if things with Katara, and even Zuko weirdly agreeing with Aang at the end that “you were right about what Katara needed.” Even though she literally just told Aang a second ago that he was wrong and she would never forgive him and doesn’t know why she couldn’t kill him. If you couldn’t tell I have rather mixed feelings about TSR episode.

Sorry for the ramble. How do you think their conversations (Katara, Aang, and Sokka) would go if they were to talk about it all after the episode?

oh misogyny definitely plays a part - just compare the way people react to inigo montoya from the princess bride vs katara in tsr - but i think the bigger issue is the overt narrative framing of the episode.

on a first watch, tsr appears to push a very simplistic idea of "violence = bad" and strongly favours aang's perspective, which encourages the viewer to see him as being in the right while katara and zuko appear to be in the wrong. the fact that aang never changes his perspective and both zuko and sokka are (forcibly and very uncharacteristically) made to take his side by the end naturally inclines the audience to do so as well.

it's only with a closer reading that you see a more nuanced take which highlights the flaws in aang's thinking and treatment of katara. katara herself makes it clear that what aang wanted her to do would not have helped her find closure, and she began her healing process without ever forgiving yon rha - which is exactly why i hate people attributing her decision not to kill yon rha to aang when she explicitly stated she did not and would not ever do what he wanted her to!

these are the same people who will also blame zuko for being a "bad influence" on katara, as if the only reason she hunted down her own mother's killer is because zuko convinced her to do it. katara isn't some weeping willow to be bent to the will of zuko and aang; her decisions are her own, not based on the whims of the boys in her life. can we please stop stripping katara of all her agency in the one episode that actually focuses on her trauma and healing?

rant aside, i do wish that katara had talked to sokka after this episode and i imagine there would be some apologising on both sides. sokka - a realistic sokka, because my god was he wildly out of character - would probably check in on her and admit that he was afraid for her safety and well-being. katara would likely apologise for the "you didn't love her the way i did!" remark and i think it would've been nice for them to finally talk about kya and for katara to bring up the conversation she overheard from the runaway about how sokka confessed to seeing her as a surrogate mother.

(imo the impact hearing that would've had on katara was largely downplayed in the show, and is likely part of the reason she reacted to sokka the way she did in the southern raiders, but that's a post for another time.)

the katara-aang conversation would probably have gone the same way that it did in canon, because the issues with their dynamic in tsr are part of the underlying problems with the kat.aang relationship in general. i would've liked to see aang have a little more of a reaction to katara saying she never forgave yon rha (he doesn't seem affected at all in the show), and for that to maybe prompt him to really reflect on what he said.

but ultimately what really has to be tackled here is aang's idealization of katara and his focus on clinging to air nomad values at the expense of those from the other nations - and those problems run too deep to be fixed in a single episode or conversation. the southern raiders would have been a good starting point, but unfortunately the finale never engages with these issues, and so what could've been a great arc ends up going nowhere at all.

[sweetestpopcorn]

How do you feel about Snape from Harry Potter? Do you think that he is similar to Ser Criston Cole in some ways?

Hi there and sorry for this huge delay... I wish you a very I live in shame.

I am going to begin by making it clear this answer concerns ONLY the asoiaf canon (books), so any redacted fans kindly move along. Thank you.

So, I don't see how anyone would think that Snape is in any significant way similar to Criston Cole. Yes both are ambitious, cunning in a sense, and brave, but who they are at heart, their journey and their ending is world's apart.

The whole point of Severus Snape as a character is that he starts of being presented to us as a villain of sorts - from Harry's perspective - even looks wise, he is a typical villain. The way he dresses, the greasy hair, not very handsome (to be kind), his beak of a nose. His House, Slytherin, another token of his evil ways if you would. Another clue that he's bad. What we come to find along the way is that actually, it's not as easy as that.

Severus Snape is a grey character, perhaps as grey as it can get. He has done some very selfish and reprehensible things, and at the same time, there's a lot of good in him, bravery as well. The beauty of it is that it does not erase any of the bad that he has done, or it is if people can understand nuance it only adds to the complexity of his character, because you can do good things and have qualities and still choose wrong at times and be a less than good person. It's good. It's human. It's amazing writing and understanding of the human heart at conflict with itself.

That's not the case with Criston Cole. Unlike with Snape, there's no redemption for him, and besides his skill as a fighter and military commander, and his bravery since he never once backed down from a fight, there's really no redeeming qualities to him. He's not a character who changed but rather one who revealed himself and didn't reveal anything good. He's not grey, he's a villain. A good villain for sure, as his physical appearance - at least when he was young - does not let on about his rotten nature. Unlike the villains we are used to reading about, he's young at the start, charming, handsome. He has black hair and green eyes, very much a Baratheon look, and Robert too was once described as being a maiden's dream. Criston's occupation would also speak of honour and high character, he's a man of the Kingsguard. His death, however, and his decisions, speak for themselves and he's a very good example of a "show don't tell" sort of villain. Nothing bad about him is ever told, but everything is shown -> using a child to move up in the world, being a creep to said child, turning on a woman he was said to love when she does not live up to his twisted version of her, spending the rest of his life trying to destroy her, and lastly dying in a pathetic way.

About their relationships with the women they "loved", there's very little if anything in common.

Snape and Lily started out as friends. They were the same age and went to school together. Snape knew what Lily was, he knew that she was like him, and he liked her. It's finding another like him that first draws him to her. They became friends but for the most part, they had a very clear view of who the other one was, there was little delusion. Lily liked Snape but she was not afraid to call him out when she thought he was in the wrong. For the most part I would say they have a healthy friendship. Lily was maybe at times not the friend Snape wanted but the one he needed. Their final break in a sense shows this and how much Snape had lost himself, and to this, Lily was never blind. Even then though, and even through his humiliation, Snape never stops loving Lily, in a selfish way sure, but he never tries to harm her directly and he continues to try to protect her, again in a selfish way, but he does. It's only love from him to her, and Lily liked him very much, as a friend yes, but she did until she realised, or decided, he was going down a path she could not condone.

Criston and Rhaenyra are a completely different story. They were "friends" of sorts once, but more like in a companion sort of way and they were certainly never similar, this is not what first draws either of them to the other. Criston starts of as a grown man who takes advantage of a little girl - Rhaenyra was 8 and he was 23 - and tries to woo her to get a position at court and later on as a member of the Kingsguard, by means of being a favourite of the King's daughter. He watches Rhaenyra grow, being very clear that she had a major crush on him, uses this to his advantage and later on starts to develop feelings for her as well. Then, when she destroys his image of her - by either not being a poor maiden and rejecting the saviour that the white knight wants to be, or by trying to seduce him, depending on the version you believe - he turns vicious and starts to hate her. I would not call it love turned hate as much as I would call it a sort of obsession turned hate. And between them, I would say there was a mutual deception much more than a true friendship. Once it vanishes, Rhaenyra forgets about him and cuts him off and he hates her and tries to destroy her until the end of his days.

The dynamics between the Criston and Snape could not be more different. The development of the two characters are worlds apart as well, and where they start too.

I see nothing in common or at least nothing that is worthy of note, or of creating parallels between them that are not hollow and cheap - like most parallels are tbh.

Characters who resemble Criston and his obsession would be much more along the lines of Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) or Leôncio (Escrava Isaura). There is something of bookJorah Mormont in him as well, though the two start in opposing ways in a sense, and there's also definitely something of Humbert Humbert (Lolita) about him with how different his version of Rhaenyra is from the real her. But in a way Criston is none of them, I think he's more complex still in a way that he's a villain. It's very subtle and not said, and it's important to note he would never be painted in too bad a light since he was on the side who got to write history - though it's pretty clear Eustace doesn't like him as he was willing to throw him under the bus, which is very interesting - which leads too many people to thinking there has to be more.

No, there isn't. There's doesn't need to be. Not every twisted person is deranged and in your face evil, and some villains - the best ones - think of themselves as doing the right thing, as the heroes of their story. As a Kingmaker, giving the crown to the one they deem worthy. And not every villain needs something to have triggered him to "become" evil, something many seem to think needs to have happened with Criston Cole. And if I can add, this idea that there's a switch that turns us evil or good is quite dangerous. Like I said before, from the start he knew what he was doing, he was ambitious, he knew what he wanted, and whatever his reason for turning on Rhaenyra was, it has to do with how she affronted him and destroyed his image of her.

In a way perhaps Snape and Criston can be a lesson of sorts. In the first you have someone you would naturally think a villain, in the second, you have someone you would naturally consider a hero. But the twist is, that the hero might be a bitter not very attractive man who did a lot of wrongs, and the villain might be the once charming and handsome white knight who used a little girl and then wanted to destroy the woman she became.

[queeranarchism]

could you please talk about sanctions? what are the immediate effects and on who, and what are the likely secondary effects of those, and anything else important - having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole topic and its practicalities. thanks!

I'm assuming you mean the sanctions against Russia that are happening right now? I'm not particularly knowledgeable about economic dynamics so I'm not quite sure why sanctions have a specific outcome in a specific situation. I can see why the current sanctions were put in place and what their outcome is, so I can give you my amateurs take on that. To keep it simple I'll limit myself to a European perspective (which is already broad, there are lots of nuances within Europe).

When Russia invaded Ukraine, it was pretty clear to Europe that something had to be done about the expansionist dictator in their backyard. No one wanted to deal with Putin, because dealing with a dictator who owns nukes is risky. Europe had tried to pacify Putin when he invaded the Kremlin in 2014 and had looked away when he expanded Russian influence in the Donbas region in the years after that. But now Putin threw all restraint out the window and just tried to take over a whole country. And it was pretty clear that his ambition didn't end there. If he succeeded, he would be more confident, more powerful and Russia would gain a huge amount of resources that it could use in its next landgrab. That landgrab might not come in 2023, but it would come eventually.

So doing nothing didn't seem like an option, but joining the war against Ukraine could lead to a nuclear conflict that could destroy all life on earth. So the only more or less safe option that remained was to try to fight Putin by means other than war: sanctions and supplying Ukraine with military aid. When the sanctions were imposed at the start of the war, they probably had several goals. Which I think were:

Damage Russia's economy as punishment for the invasion of Ukraine and eventually cause its economy to crash, preventing Russia from continuing an expensive war. This was the primary goal.

Send a signal to the Russian people that this 'special military operation' was actually a really big deal and they should be paying attention to it.

Limit Russia's access to military materials produced outside Russia.

The primary goal failed completely. Europe believed that Russia was militarily strong and economically weak. It was incredibly wrong about both. In part this had something to do with how the sanctions were implemented. Russia profited enormously from the rising prices of gas and oil. But even if the sanctions had been designed better, they probably wouldn't have broken the Russian economy. Putin has dreamed about restoring the Russian empire for a long time and has probably known for a while now that some confrontation with Europe would be inevitable. While Europe was increasing its economic dependency on Russian gas, Putin was making sure Russia's economy could survive without Europe.

The secondary goals probably worked pretty well. Russians certainly noticed the disappearance of almost all European shops from their streets and that made it a lot harder for the Kremlin to pretend that something minor was happening in Ukraine. And by now, we are seeing the Russian army running out of vital spare parts, especially for it's most modern military equipment. This absolutely impacts Russia's combat capability.

Finally, the military aid has been absolutely crucial to the Ukrainian war effort. Ukraine would have fallen months ago without those weapons.

Sanctions always hurt both sides. When you cut off an exchange that was once beneficial to you both, everyone takes a hit. As it is, Russia is hurting a lot less than expected and Europe is hurting a lot more. By now, it probably makes more sense to double down on supplying weapons to Ukraine than to impose more sanctions. The weapons are making a much bigger difference and are cheaper by comparison.

Still, I would argue that with the way the war is going, Europe is getting a pretty sweet deal: it's expansionist dictator next door is getting his ass kicked. Russia has taken massive casualties and lost enormous amounts of its best equipment. This will impact Russia's military capabilities for at least a decade and if Putin holds on to power he will certainly think twice before starting a new invasion in Europe.

Europe is getting long term safety from Russia's expansionism because Ukrainians are fighting and dying. And all the rest of Europe has to do is deal with inflation and a likely recession. They do not need to flee from their homes, they do not need to risk their lives.

So yeah, it is going to be a rough winter and Europe's working class is going to have to take action to get higher pay and lower rent, otherwise some of us will starve of freeze. But if we have to choose between fighting the boss with strikes or fighting Putin with guns, I know which of those I prefer.

[ultraericthered]

Love Live! Lanzhu Zhong Drama

Was recently looking at an old Reddit thread that discussed all the controversy and discourse that Lanzhu Zhong and All Stars Season 2 in general got back in 2020, and another newer one about Lanzhu that was made after Nijigasaki School Idol Club Season 2 had aired.

My take on All Stars!Lanzhu is that I love her conceptually, love her design and her costumes, love her songs and her performances, love her general personality and the potential she carried with her as a truly antagonistic force who could make a great nemesis and anti-hero character for a series where such characters are scarce...but I could hardly stomach the writing and handling of her character in Season 2 and the story decisions coming with it, I feel it was a ball dropping of epic proportions. And I know Lanzhu defenders are prone to saying "Oh, too many Love Live! fans aren't used to conflict and antagonists who act like assholes to their Best Girls and they just can't handle it!" But I'd argue that the problem with Lanzhu many had was never that she was a bitchy antagonist or that she created conflict; it was that her antagonism as written was horribly excessive and unbalanced and that the conflicts she created were bad, stupid, and ultimately meaningless conflicts that were not very believable and came to the detriment of several characters, Lanzhu included.

Lanzhu as a character fell into the same trap as Paul from Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl, Regina Mills from Once Upon A Time, and Katsuki Bakugo from My Hero Academia - she acts like a complete shitbag who is spoiled, entitled, and needlessly cruel to everyone, yet not only do we have to watch her suffer little to no repercussions for it, but the writing around her and in particular the writing for other characters gets distorted so that no one is allowed to respond to her realistically given what her behavior should warrant, and in fact, so many of them outright sing her praises and talk her up to high heaven, a way of hammering in "This character is the coolest, OK? Respect what they do well and overlook their more negative traits! Please love them and don't hate them!" Which is never a good sign and will more than likely have the opposite effect on many in the audience who aren't uncritical media illiterates. One Lanzhu fan on there put the authorial intent behind her and her arc in Season 2 into clear perspective - that she was meant to be a different sort of School Idol who, in the conflict with the Nijigasaki Club, was wrong for the right reasons, or who went about being right the wrong way, so that once the other girls gave her open acknowledgement to what she got right, she'd begin to back down from what she'd been doing wrong and open her mind and heart to becoming a better, less toxic person who could forge healthier dynamics with others - and good on them for getting that. On paper, that sounds like an interesting character with an interesting arc of conflict and growth. It doesn't change that execution is everything, and the game's writers were not talented enough to execute this with the grace and nuance it needed.

Now notice how I was talking about All Stars Season 2 there? 'Cause in Season 3, Lanzhu is a more tolerable, even likable character now that she's a member of the club and on friendlier terms with the other girls, and we got a lot more cute, funny, humanizing bits out of her. The problem with THAT is that it does not organically gel with the Lanzhu we got in early Season 2. The character we were introduced to back then was a cold-blooded, mean-spirited narcissist with entitlement and nepotism issues. Lanzhu's "redemption" that grows her into this nicer persona relies on the fact that she was all along just a lonely rich kid who wanted other School Idols to like her and be her friend, and that the Nijigasaki Club was her main inspiration to start with....which is absolute nonsense when you remember that she treated everyone in a hostile, unfriendly way from the offset and even treated the two friends she did have like crap, and that she explicitly wanted to destroy the Nijigasaki Club in order to replace it with her "superior" Association. This literally feels like seeing how Paul is like in Journeys coming off of DP, or seeing Regina Mills in Season 3 of OUAT coming off of Season 2, or even Dramatic Bakugo VS Interim Bakugo. This does not feel like precisely written, naturally flowing organic character development, but rather like one character switching out with an identical but substantially different character.

Then we have anime Lanzhu, who is written like Season 3 Lanzhu from the offset but used for a different sort of antagonistic arc where she's an actual rival and ideological opponent for the club and Yu in particular, one who is amiable, honorable, and respectful but also haughty, uncompromising, and with a sort of mean streak that, when provoked, can turn downright venomous. So when it comes time for her to change her tune and join the club, it's certainly easier to buy. But there's another secret to its success; the anime writers looked at All Stars Lanzhu's loneliness excuse, that she just wanted other School Idols to like her and be her friend, and flipped it upside down. Anime Lanzhu is still lonely, but she is in denial about it and is not asking for friends; in fact, she wants to keep others out and away from her. The ideology she subscribes to that idols work best as solo performers, can only ever be in competition with other idols, and need to get by without help from anyone else especially not their own fans who they're meant to lord over and soak up adoration from, is actually an elaborate way to keep herself distanced from other people because past experiences got her convincing herself that there could be no one out there who'd actually want to be her friend over merits not school idol-related and so it'd only be hurting herself to try to reach out and make friends. Her narcissistic elitist attitude and antisocial behavior makes sooooo much more sense this way!

Someday I'd love to see something come out with a Lanzhu that strikes an ideal medium between All Stars and the anime; one who plays dirty and acts as a "villain" with a right-headed point to make like the former, but while possessing the mentality and redeemable qualities of the latter. But as it stands, this meme sums Lanzhu up:

[firstumcschenectady]

“Seeking Peace” based on 1 Corinthians 6:1-6 and Luke 6:43-45

I tend to believe the the quote from Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” This makes me quite skeptical of both-sides-ism. To be fair, the primary justice issue I've worked on in my life is justice for LGBTQIA+ people, and the difference between teenagers committing suicide because they're told they're not loved and straight cis-people feeling uncomfortable is a great example of things NOT being equal.

However, today a part of my heart is in my throat, thinking about the conflict in the Middle East, and I can't make sense out of it. There aren't easy answers in Palestine and Israel. There is pain and suffering of generations, and worldwide context, and vulnerable people everywhere. And there are clear and abundant violations of human rights and human dignities. This is a case of both/and, I think.

I have been reminded this week to hold the history of Israel in context. Of course, I thought I was doing that, and I wasn't. Modern Israel was created out of the need for a space for Jewish people to have self-determination after Christian neighbors and so-called Christian Countries proved themselves unwilling to hold Jewish life as sacred. This, of course, culminated in the Holocaust, which Elie Wiesel survived, but the Holocaust was an single extreme expression of the constant antisemitism of the world.

I wonder, from the perspective of 2023, if the choices made to create modern Israel were less supportive of Jewish life than they seemed at the time. A friend told me this week that if Israel's neighbors laid down their weapons, there would be peace, but if Israel laid down their weapons, there would be no Israel. Because the powers of the world made decisions to create modern Israel, but did so without the cooperation and consent of the other nations in that region, and without an adequate plan for the people who had already been living in Israel. How did they think this would play out? Did they care?

There isn't much space in our lives for context, and nuance, and careful conversations. There isn't space for both/and. There isn't a lot of space for acknowledging that Hamas was definitely, completely wrong in their attacks – it was barbaric terrorism AND that the blockades and attacks on Gaza are excessive and inhumane. We're told we have to pick: be for one side or the other, either forget the centuries of antisemitism that our own faith tradition created and nurtured and stand for the downtrodden Palestinians OR forget the consistency of inhumane treatment of Muslims and Christians in Palestine, and stand for the Israelite state.

For those of us who believe they're ALL God's people, ALL God's chosen, ALL God's beloveds, Israel and Palestine looks like pain and horror right now. In trying to find the balance in this sermon, I sought wisdom from others whose eyes see what I fail. They reminded me that one way to stand for Israelis and for Palestinians is to stand against Hamas, who not only brutally attacked innocents, but also did so knowing the response would kill Palestinians in large numbers. Can we stand for our Jewish siblings here, around the world, and in Israel while standing for our Palestinian siblings? I believe we can, but it takes a willingness to look deeply, to be uncomfortable, and to shy away from fast talking points.

The Mennonite Church of Canada wrote a prayer lament and intercession for Palestine and Israel and I invite you to join me in the spirit of prayer1:

God of love and justice, our hearts are perplexed, paralyzed and broken at the recent carnage in Palestine and Israel. We lament the loss of life and the suffering of so many people. We are shocked at the inhumanity of violence, terrorism, and war.

Our prayers for peace seem to go unanswered. We wish you would intervene. We cling to your promise of a different world, but we see so few signs of its fulfillment. We do not understand.

Still, we continue to believe that you desire life and peace for all people. 

Holy Spirit, strengthen our resolve to advocate for peace, justice, equality, and compassion for all.   Don’t let us turn away.

Comfort all who are overwhelmed with loss—loss of life, loss of homes, loss of safety and security. 

God of the vulnerable and the oppressed, renew the energy and creativity of those committed to nonviolent resistance and change. 

We pray for the communities in the land where our shared faith was born and nurtured. May your love remain bright among your Jewish, Christian, Muslim and people. May they recognize your hand in their lives, even amidst the suffering. We pray for your peoples around the world, wishing hope, health, safety, and abundance for all.

God of all nations, guide our own government to respond in ways that support the legitimate rights of all, especially those who are most vulnerable, those who continue to suffer after generations of occupation, dispossession, and denial of basic human rights and those who fear for their safety.

May your kindom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Yours is the kingdom, the power, the glory, now and forever. 

Amen

You may have heard in our Epistle lesson this morning, a call from Paul for good conflict resolution. And you may have heard in our Gospel lesson this morning a reminder that we are not know by our intentions, but by our fruits. Come to church, hear hard things ;)

All I can offer the Middle East right now is my heartfelt prayers, and my profound compassion. What I can offer in the here and now is a refusal to participate in violence, even in my language. I can affirm the humanity of our Jewish and Muslim siblings in faith, I can acknowledge how horrifying and terrifying this is for anyone with family or friends in Israel and Palestine. And I can hold multiple truths – that Christianity has created the conditions by which Jews are dehumanized and live in fear around the world AND – hey look at us – Christianity has done the same to Muslims and many Christians do the same to Palestinians. Here, in the US – and around the world – I want Jewish people to be SAFE, whole, and assured that we'll have their back. And I want the same for Palestinians of all faiths and for Muslims everywhere. Right? I've been thinking about what God might feel about it all. My best answer is “heartbroken.”

When the Methodist Federation for Social Action (MFSA) Board did an intense study of anti-racism, we were given a list of values in anti-racism institutions. One of them was “both/and thinking” and “moving toward collective action.” To be more direct, the training claimed that either/or thinking was a tool of oppression and both/and thinking was needed to make space for all people to be collaborative.2

I think about that a lot. I've noticed in my life that when I'm stuck between a THIS and a THAT, and I notice it, and take time to consider it, and even pray about it, that there is always an undiscovered THIRD WAY I wouldn't have found unless I considered the important parts of THIS and the important parts of THAT together, and realized why I couldn't let either one go. That God is in the both/and, and it can take me a while to find it, but it is always worth finding.

I've heard stories of those who have worked for peace though, have you ever heard them? Those who God has called to be peace-makers who have entered spaces with both sides of this conflict and found ways to let each side be actually heard? To even grieve together? The stories are always of small intentional groups, of people willing to participate, usually not of people in leadership who are most profoundly fixed in their positions (although in this conflict few people are easily moved.) But miracles have happened. People have heard each other. People have cried for each other. People have APOLOGIZED.

This work is being done RIGHT NOW. I learned this week that “one of the crucial movements in the peace space in Israel/Palestine now is the historic partnership between Women Wage Peace and Women of the Sun; the latter organization was founded in the summer of 2021, and is comprised of Palestinian women working for peace in the West Bank and Gaza. Women Wage Peace was founded after the Gaza war of 2014, is comprised of Jewish and Arab women who live inside the State of Israel, and has the two primary objectives of 1) Getting Israeli/Palestinian peace negotiations going (and to eventually achieve a "bilaterally acceptable political agreement") and 2) guaranteeing that women are part of the negotiation process.”3 4

Let's hear one story about peace, right now, huh? There is a group called the Parents’ Circle Families Forum—formerly the Bereaved Parents’ Circle. The organization is comprised of Israelis and Palestinians who have lost a family member in the ongoing violence. Their work is the slow work of trust building and creating connections.

Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg tells, and reflects on this story: On October 7th, Hersh Goldberg-Polin was kidnapped by Hamas and brought into Gaza. Shortly before the abduction, he lost his arm while protecting his friends from Hamas bullets and grenades; as far as anyone knows, he is badly wounded if he is still alive. He has not been heard from since being taken.

Last week, his mother, Rachel, wrote:

Time is slowly ticking into the future, with these hostages approaching a week in captivity. If he is still alive, how much longer can he survive? His wounds are grievous. I hope someone somewhere is being kind to him, caring for him, attending to him.

Hersh is my whole world, and this evil is the flood that is destroying it. I really don’t know if anything can save it. If anyone knows, please tell me. To save a life, our sages taught, is to save a world. Please help me save my son; it will save my world.

Every single person in Gaza has a mother, or had a mother at some point.

And I would say this, then, as mother to other mothers: If you see Hersh, please help him. I think about it a lot. I really think I would help your son, if he was in front of me, injured, near me.

And that’s the whole of it. “I would help your son.” Your daughter. Your child. Your beloved. Yours.

I understand that yours matters infinite worlds to you, because mine does, to me, and I hope that you see that, too.

I can see the infinity in yours, in fact, if I’m willing to look.1

What incredibly holy work is being done in seeing each other as beloveds. The article that shared that story, framed it in the lens of the holy work of mothering/parenting – and in seeing all the world's children as “yours”. Dear ones, I think that's where the pain comes from when we see brokenness in the world. Because we know all children – all people – to be God's children, in need of good care, and worthy of good and abundant life.

So we seek peace. We seek peace through love by loving all people. This maybe doesn't seem radical enough, or new enough. Maybe it isn't new, but the world has proven to us time and time again, it is radical enough. Let's work on it until we get it right. Then we can try to pull Christianity along ;)

Amen

1https://www.mennonitechurch.ca/article/16090-prayer-of-lament-and-intercession-for-palestine-and-israel, accessed 10/19/2023 Edited.

2Work of Crossroads Antiracism Organizing and Training. I attended in 2017.

3https://lifeisasacredtext.substack.com/p/a-peacemaking-lens?fbclid=IwAR1y50dbv2q-VxQQ_o1elI_-5UNYuOAEoMIMsEe9Tcg0gGNzHe44TvOKmMA

4The thoughts and concerns of Alice Gomstyn and Elliot Olshansky are peppered throughout this sermon, and I thank them for not letting me bumble along like an idiot, even when it is my job to be informed and not their job to inform me. I'll also note that while they helped me, they can't fix me ;) so mistakes remain my own.

1https://lifeisasacredtext.substack.com/p/a-peacemaking-lens?fbclid=IwAR1y50dbv2q-VxQQ_o1elI_-5UNYuOAEoMIMsEe9Tcg0gGNzHe44TvOKmMA

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

October 22, 2023

[zeta-in-de-walls]

More Tommy meta time! :D

Hey, so Tommy’s developed an interesting perspective on Morality! He used to see things pretty black and white. That he was a good guy doing good things and there were bad guys doing bad things. (It’s simple, though I’d also say Tommy assumed everyone was good and you’d have to do something really cruel for him to consider you a bad person. Most mischief wouldn’t qualify.) 

So in Pogtopia, he regarded Schlatt as evil for betraying them and then banishing and being an evil tyrant. Then Wilbur started talking about being a bad guy and it became Tommy’s mission to stop him from doing something bad and becoming the villain he talked about. And he ultimately failed.

Post S1, Tommy speaks about Wilbur like two different people. The insane villain and the good leader. He refuses to really face that it’s all the same Wilbur. Also, Technoblade helped blow up Manburg, plus executing Tubbo, so he was also viewed as just a villain by Tommy. Tommy himself was afraid of becoming a bad guy.

Then we get Tommy’s exile and, due to all his suffering, he starts performing immoral actions. In his view, that would make him a bad guy. The very thing he didn’t want to be! And after all this suffering, it seems he’s developed his worldview to have more nuance. 

Tommy still sees certain actions as bad, as immoral. What he’s come to realise though is that just doing bad things doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Tommy apologised for what he’d done and forgave his friends for their part in exiling him. At the time, he’d been seriously hurt and felt betrayed by his friends for what they’d done - but now he sees they had to do it and they’re not bad people, they can reconcile. And just as he can forgive them, he wants to believe he too can be forgiven. 

Tommy said how he felt that trauma shouldn’t excuse his actions and he recently spoke about how people aren’t always strong enough to do what’s right. He isn’t as strong as he used to be, he feels, and he’s done bad things, no matter his reasons. But there’s still good in everyone and you can’t give up on the people you care about. If you’re performing bad actions, you are being a bad guy - but you’re more than that. People do bad things when they’re hurt of traumatised and Tommy understands that now. Things aren’t clear, they’re complicated and it’s a less childish mindset. People can turn around - it’s never too late.

So Tommy believes in personal responsibility quite a bit. You are responsible for your own actions. He understands trauma but doesn’t want to use it to excuse actions, people need to try and be strong and to get support from others too. Tommy has recently tried to be more open about his feelings to his friends. He’s not going to excuse what Wilbur’s done but he does intend to help him and prevent him from continuing to hurt others. He will condemn stuff he regards as evil though - he is not an enabler. It’s interesting how he tried to cut ties with Dream as well, discussing how being around Dream was bad for him, that he didn’t make him a good person and so it was important for him to recognise that.

We haven’t had many interactions with him and Techno since Doomsday but interestingly, Tommy doesn’t hold much of grudge. Not like he did post Nov 16th He still hates what they did of course, but he doesn’t see him and Philza as bad people. Part of him cares about them and would prefer to make amends.

There’s still something pretty simple about this perspective - he no longer sees people as black and white but he still has a very clear sense of morality and condemns certain things as evil. He sees them occurring more from people lashing out in pain rather than accepting that his own sense of what’s right and wrong could be called into question. That’s generally good though - I like that he has a strong moral compass. Tommy’s developed into someone with a strong sense of loyalty and a capacity for forgiveness and that’s veyr cool.

All this said, Tommy will struggle living by these ideals. He’s a person who gets strongly affected by emotions and won’t always be fair. He yells at people and isn’t always good at expressing himself or really listening to others - though he’s getting better. He holds himself to high standards  and has a dangerous sense of duty - not sure if he’s a good person but believing he has to stand up and fight for what he believes in while also being afraid of more conflict. 

Either way, I love al of Tommy’s character’s subtle developments. They’re really interesting and it makes me excited to see him heal and continue never giving up, always trying to be better.

[petracore101]

Don't you think the fallout from this finale is just like the response to vol.3? If you stayed after that why are you leaving now?

Honestly? No, I don’t really think the two responses are remotely the same. Nor were the emotional cores of the finales themselves.

(warning that this does get pretty critical, so.. yknow... dead dove, don’t eat.)

Don’t get me wrong, V3’s finale hurt. Even though a good chunk of the fandom saw the foreshadow-y writing on the wall, it still hurt. Our heroes failed, Beacon fell, Penny and Pyrrha died, and it was painful and tragic and heartbreaking. Especially coming after what was (for a lot of the fandom) a very difficult year. People took it hard, there was a lot of pain, and yeah, a fair bit of anger.

But there was nothing about the V3 finale that was unnecessary, from a writing perspective. The terrible things were the building blocks upon which the story could build- they lay the foundations for the arcs our characters needed to go through. And painful as they were, those moments were all treated with the utmost gravity and care within the narrative. Penny’s death in V3 was horrible, and that horror was reflected in the reactions of the crowd, of her friends, of Ruby. Yang’s maiming was brutal, and that brutality was reflected in the sudden style switch of the shot itself, in Blake’s desperate reaction, and in the response of her team when they reunited. Pyrrha’s death was tragic, and that tragedy was reflected in the buildup to her choice, in the efforts of her friends to save her, in the quiet sadness of her death, and in Ruby’s sorrow when she arrived too late. And in each case, we, the audience, were given time and attention within the narrative to come to terms with it. The lead up to the fall provided ample hints and foreshadowing. The groundwork was all there- we watched it unfold, saw the disaster coming before it struck. Simply rewatching the first 3 volumes makes it clear, this is where things were always headed. The tragedy was not simply that these things happened, but that they may have been prevented, if only our heroes had known some small piece of what we knew. Had seen what we had seen, as it was playing out. But they didn’t, so for them, it was all inevitable. Penny would always go cheerily into battle against an opponent who could unknowingly rip her to shreds. Yang would always launch herself at any danger to save Blake. Pyrrha would always give everything she had to protect those she loved. Even so, those moments were given such weight by the narrative. The pain of the characters and the audience was treated with care and respect, the scenes given time and a sorrowful focus as the truth of them sunk in. So while watching it play out was heartbreaking, it always made sense, always felt compelling. The characters did all they could with the knowledge they had, they just didn’t have the knowledge they needed. And even so, there was still hope. There was still light. There was still a chance for a better day.

And even while the fandom mourned, the overall response reflected those truths. We were heartbroken, but the focus was on coming to terms with the tragedy, not justifying how it was executed. But now? The conflict, the anger, the pain and frustration now? That’s not just coming from people trying to come to terms with Atlas’s fall or Penny’s death or RWBY’s plunge into the void... It’s coming from people upset with how they chose to do these things. Making Vine (who we have had maybe 1-2min worth of speaking lines from) blow himself up to save his teammates was tone deaf and lacked emotional depth, particularly after a series of events that relied on Harriet wanting to bomb a city of civilian refugees for reasons that were shakily developed at best. Turning Penny “human” just to kill her as bloodily as possible was unnecessary and cruel. And having her successfully commit suicide after a full volume of near-constant suicidal comments was just atrocious, no matter what warnings they put ahead of the ep. Having each member of RWB/Y fall (to their “deaths”, from the perspective of those still standing) after barely even landing hits on their opponents, then quickly moving on without pause was jarring and felt senseless. Lingering on Mantle and Atlas being utterly demolished but not showing any reaction from any of its former residents was callous and devoid of any emotional stakes. It leaves us with no hope, no depth, no stakes. Just shock, frustration, pain, confusion.

I liked V3 because the tragedy, the pain, it meant something. It made sense why things played out as they did, and that enhanced the tragedy of it all. But I did not like V7 or V8, because the plot points are not written to be meaningful, they are written to be painful for the sake of being painful. There’s no emotional depth to any of it, no time given to exploring the nuance of what it does to the characters involved, or narrative weight given to their response or that of the audience. The finale especially feels, to me, incredibly superficial. It is dark for the sake of darkness, like it resorts for shocking the audience as a cheap way to elicit an emotional response. And I have no interest in watching the characters I love be reduced to that kind of story. I’m not quitting the show because bad things happened. I’m out because I’m tired of incredibly serious things being treated so callously.

It’s fine if you disagree, it’s fine if you liked it, I’m not trying to ruin the show for anyone. If you continue to watch, I hope it continues to be what you’re looking for. But please do not act like those who are upset by this are simply angry it didn’t go their way. You do not have to agree with the criticisms or even understand where people are coming from. Just be kind.

[whohaveibeenletting]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Description: Circa 2013, Thor tries to get Steve involved in an Asgardian party. Instead, Steve finds a nice girl he just wants to protect.  Warnings: Oral (female receiving), loss of virginity, innocence kink, dubious consent, Steve is manipulated, Thor is not a nuanced character in this. Written largely from Steve’s perspective. Overall it is dark-ish. Disclaimer: We’re all friends here. We can acknowledge that virginity is a construct and virgins aren’t any purer than than everyone else, but it’s kinda hot to pretend otherwise.   Word Count: 4811

The water's clean and warm and green. I’m scared of getting in.

‘A true Asgardian celebration.’

That’s what Thor had described this as when he invited Steve to his home the month following Loki’s defeat. In his head, Steve had imagined alcohol, which posed no danger to him, no matter how strong. Prompted by his worst worries of Thor pulling him in to some kind of battle off world, he’d put this visit off for as long as possible, giving him time to prepare an array of excuses should he be asked to get involved in a conflict he has no part in.

He was not prepared for a room full of writhing bodies. People on their knees, their backs; everything on display. The room smells heady with wine and the mass of Asgardians sharing pleasure everywhere. He feels Thor’s hand on his shoulder, urging him towards a woman ready on the floor. Her head tilts back, her lips part invitingly.

Steve hears himself apologise to the woman in front of him. Without another word he’s ducking under Thor’s arm, hurrying out the first door he sees and trying to ignore the thunderous laughter which follows him down a long hallway.

Familiar shame floods through him. He feels the resentment in his chest, tight in his throat.

Must he always going to be the butt of the joke?

Some warning would have been nice, Steve thinks, would’ve declined more politely, if he’d given me half a chance. That poor woman, degrading herself like that for a man who didn’t even want her. His mind stays on that woman. Open and waiting. He wonders how that would have played out if he’d approached her, not that he ever would have. But maybe if he’d just let her-

Earlier, Steve had been shown a room where he’d been told he would be sleeping. When he finds himself back there, he stares at the bed and contemplates the prospect of staying the night. The possibility of Thor trying to pressure him into another rendezvous seems high.

He can’t avoid Thor. Eventually Steve will have to see him if he wants to go home. Steve doesn’t know anyone else, doesn’t have the first idea about how to leave this place on his own. Something about a gateway. Something about a bridge.

Christ, he just has to go. As soon as possible. Even here, when he’s on his own, he feels out of place. He thinks about the apartment he grew up in. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom, but the whole thing was half the size of this single room meant only for sleeping. He doesn’t belong here. It was clear to him before, and it’s clear to him now.

With resignation, Steve takes determined steps towards the door when a woman rounds the corner suddenly. You just miss walking straight into his chest. He watches you reel a little, taking a couple steps back so that you can look him in the eye without craning your neck too much.

You correct yourself quickly. Hands behind your back, a pleasant smile on your pretty face. It dawns on him then that you’re a servant, dressed as the others were; a white linen dress. A sick pantomime of innocence.

“I’ve been sent to ask if there’s anything you need, Captain,”

“No,” he says sharply, feeling a little guilt when you flinch, but not enough to delay himself. “I just want to get out of here.”

“I am afraid it is impossible for you to leave without his permission.”

“Permission?” Steve barks, raising his eyebrows.

“Unfortunately,” you answer, voice shaking a little. “His Royal Highness is still occupied with the celebration. If you want to avoid that it would be best to wait until morning to speak to him.”

The morning? Steve sighs, defeated, and nods in answer.

“I apologise for any offence, Captain. But if you need anything you need only call.” You make to turn and leave, but guilt forces him to keep talking to you.

“I am sorry for being curt, Ma’am. I’m new to all of this. Where I’m from, people aren’t so...open.”

“There is nothing to apologise for, Captain. I have been told that Odinson parties can often be overwhelming.”

That gives him pause; the prospect of a like mind in this place more comforting than he’d like to admit. “You mean, you’ve never...”

“No,” you say quietly, frowning. “Well, not yet. They told me I’m supposed to start soon, actually.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it.”

You pause. Steve watches you trying to read him; trying to work out if he’s trustworthy enough to share your thoughts with. He keeps his face serious, wanting you to know that he means to listen with care. Instead, you tense. “It is an honour to serve any member of the royal household. I’m very lucky to have been gifted my position-”

“Hey, you don’t need to do that with me,” he says, smiling at you, keeping his voice gentle. You’re looking at him like a scared rabbit. Steve feels his heart swell with worry for the girl in front of him, trying to hide your distress. “If you tell me, maybe I can help.”

Suddenly, there are tears in your eyes.

“I don’t know what to do!” You cry, covering your face with your hands.

"Let’s sit,” he says, directing you to the bed in the middle of the room.

Shaking your head and wiping desperately at your wet eyes, you protest. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

When you try to make for the door, Steve grasps you around the shoulders, his determination to understand your distress intensifying. “I said to sit.” He drops down beside you, keeping close in case you try to run off again. “I want to help you. But I can’t that you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Steve watches your fingers twist into the material of your skirt.

“It’s just that I’ve never done anything with a man.” You look up at him, your bottom lip shaking, eyelashes wet with tears. “I’m scared of the pain.”

“I’m sure Thor wouldn’t hurt you,”

“But he will!” You cry. "That’s what happens, the first time you’re there. They’ll make a game of it. Especially when they realise that no one’s ever touched me.”

“Jesus,” Steve curses, his stomach turning for this innocent girl. Your sobbing begins anew, and he places a comforting hand on your arm, rubbing his thumb along your soft skin. “I could talk to Thor. I could ask him to give you another job.”  

“There’s no allowance for special treatment. We all have our roles, and I have to take part. I can only hope someone gentle will take me first.”

Steve thinks about the room he just came from; the heady smell, the writhing bodies, the chorus of groans. It didn’t sit right with him. Experiencing it again would be torture. But this girl, pure and virtuous; you’re as hesitant as he is, if not more so. He cannot allow you to experience it without protection, without a watchful eye keeping the brutal men you describe from getting anywhere near your untried body.

“I could  make sure that you’re treated respectfully,”

“You would do that?”

“Yes. I won’t lie to you, the thought of going back to that room is not a pleasant one.” He smiles as comfortingly as possible. “But it’s important that you’re kept safe, so I’ll go back anyways.”

You look up at him. Your pretty eyes are sparkling with tears now starting to wane.

“You’re gentle,” you say, thoughtfully, hopefully. Steve sees where you’re headed, and shakes his head, trying to remain kind but firm.

“I said I wouldn’t take part in all that,” he reminds you. “And I meant it."

“You could have me now. Then you wouldn’t even have to go to the party. It wouldn’t have to happen in front of others.”

“I couldn’t, Ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“You mean you don’t want me?”

He swallows. Some deep dark part of him is screaming that he’s being a fool. This girl, he thinks, beautiful and pure. She’s offering herself yet you’re refusing her.

“You’re beautiful. Any man would be very lucky...” He makes a face, unsure how to finish. Any man would be lucky to fuck you, he thinks, feeling heat rising to his cheeks.

“It’s going to happen anyway, Captain,” you answer, your gaze running over him. A look of determination moves across your face. Then you’re moving to sit yourself on his lap, arms around his neck. “If you want me, you can have me.”

Steve almost whimpers with the way his cock is starting to ache. When you shift against him, he finds himself grasping your hips, encouraging you to grind down on his hardening cock.

He closes his eyes. He’ll allow himself just one more second before he stops you. The taste of the words he should say is sour on Steve’s tongue. I can’t. I shouldn’t. Not when you don’t have a real choice.

But your lips are sweet when you touch them to his; your touch gentle, your kiss almost chaste. When Steve looks at you again, your expression is so alluringly innocent, surprised at yourself for having done that. He wonders if you have ever kissed anyone before, his little ingénue.

You moan when you kiss him again, a little more desperate, like you’re getting addicted to the feeling. Steve sighs, bringing a hand up to your cheek. The skin on your face is unbelievably soft under his calloused fingers, and he’s desperate to find out if you’re soft everywhere. 

“I’ll look after you,” he says, giving in finally to what his body has truly wanted since he saw that woman on her knees earlier, since he saw you sitting on his bed. He runs his thumb over your bottom lip. Soft there, too. “I’ll take you gentle, doll. I promise.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, going submissively when he lies you on your back. He looks you over as he rises to his knees, hands greedily stroking your thighs, opening your body up to him.

Steve doesn’t waste time lifting the linen of your dress up to your waist, a pleased hum escaping when he finds you’re wearing nothing under the skirt. Your cunt is bare, already swollen with want. He knows that he wants you soaked. Wants you relaxed and slick before he puts his cock anywhere near you.

He throbs at the thought, tilting your knees up to your chest as he leans down to your sex. Steve breathes in the warmth between your legs, kisses the junction of your thigh softly. He hears you sigh, feels your tense body relaxing into the bed. Your comfort, your trust in him, your submission. It sends tingles down his spine.

Steve will keep you safe. He’ll keep you pleasured. And you know it.

“I need you to hold your legs open for me.” Steve watches you wrap your hands around the back of your knees for him without complaint, without hesitation. “That’s good,” he encourages, bringing his thumb to your clit and rubbing in circles. He kisses your thigh again as you gasp, watches your pussy flutter around nothing. “You ever had anybody touch you here?”

You tuck your chin against your chest and shake your head. “Never.”

“You ever touched your little bud yourself?” You remain quiet, but your head is still. You make eye contact, eyebrows pulling together as he pushes you towards release with the rough pad of his thumb, still moving in circles. Steve groans at the guilty look on your face. His cock is starting to hurt with how much he wants you. “It’s better like this, isn’t it? Better with somebody else?”

“Better with you,” you correct breathlessly. “With you.”

“Show me, then.” Steve teases his fingers over your entrance, gathering slick and bringing it back up to your bud. You mewl, jolting with pleasure when he starts circling your clit again. “Want you to come for me like this, just like this. It’ll get that little cunt ready for me, yeah? We’ll get you so fuckin’ wet. All relaxed, then I can slide right in, alright?”

You nod rapidly, letting your hips roll against his hand while he rubs at you. No breaks, no slowing down. He can feel your clit quiver against his thumb. Steve watches as your body twitches and writhes, gasping. “Captain!”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he says, bringing his thumb to his tongue for a quick taste of you, but it’s not enough.

While you’re still jolting with aftershocks, he leans down between your legs, taking a final breath of your arousal before pressing his lips where his thumb just was, kissing your little clit and earning a shocked cry. Steve groans at the taste; sweet, salt, and woman, letting his tongue lick wide over your sensitive button while his fingers stroke over your entrance. He wants to make you cum again, so fucking bad. “C’mon,” he says, tongue tasting you from your little hole to your clit. He gives your bundle of nerves a series of kisses and licks, feeling the jolt of your thighs around his head, though you settle them back open for him like he told you. “You wanna be good for me, don’t ya, honey?”

You hum in answer, long and loud as he pushes you over the edge with his mouth, sinking his finger into you so he can feel your tightness clasp and seize around him. You’re tight, your lack of experience evident in how you grasp him, but he can feel the wetness he’s pulled from you, how relaxed you are to let him in so simply like this.

He looks up at you from between your legs. Steve watches your chest as you breathe deeply, settling into letting him play inside you, whines giving way to moans. “You want to come for me again?”

“Yes,”

“You’re gonna let me in then, aren’t you?” He asks, rubbing the pads of two fingers around your entrance before he presses both inside. “Gonna take my cock?”

“Yes! Please!”

“Just one more like this, okay? Then we’ll look after both of us.”

He watches your face as you nod again, so acquissant, so willing to do whatever he tells you. He could get used to this; his sweet girl, trusting him so completely, knowing to let him guide you because he’ll always know what’s best for you. Better than you anyway, helpless as you are. Coming in here, begging him to take your virginity. And God, he wants it. Doesn’t think he’s ever wanted anything so bad as to fuck you, to be the first man to take you. He scissors his fingers inside of you at the thought, wanting to get you ready but already knowing he’ll have to hold himself back when he’s inside.

“Captain!” You cry, digging your fingers into your thighs, hips moving for him, against him. He feels the satisfying gush of wetness against his hand and grins.

“Look at that,” he says, rubbing his fingers together to feel your slick, watch the strings of it. When he looks at you again, he half expects you to look ashamed, scandalised, confused. Instead you’re looking at his hands, his arms, his chest, breathing rapidly. When you reach his eyes, your lips open slightly. Your expression mirrors that woman on her knees at Thor’s party. 

Steve growls, grabs your hand and brings it to the top of your thighs, makes you rub your mound roughly, both of you listening to the slick sound of your wetness. “That’s you ready, isn’t it? Fuckin’ soaked for me now.” You nod, watching as he reaches to undo his belt. “Take that dress off. I want to see you when I give you my cock.”

When he finally gets a hand on himself, he almost whines at the relief. He gives his cock long, slick strokes and watches you pull your dress over your head. His eyes languish over the peaks of your chest, the feminine softness of your stomach and thighs. Steve rubs his thumb over the head of his cock, feels the sticky warmth of his cum against the pad of his finger and has a fleeting notion to make you taste it.

When he brings his gaze back to your face, he finds you staring at his cock, eyes moving with the slow pumps of his hand. “Think you can take it all? Take my whole cock in that nice little cunt of yours?”

You shake your head in earnest. Steve feels his body react to the edge of fear in your eyes now, his balls tightening in warning, forcing him to pull his hand away from himself. He has to calm down, has to settle before he gets inside you or he’ll lose his mind the second he does.

Steve sighs through his nose as he touches your thighs, opening your legs up for him again with your knees bent and feet flat on the bed. He kisses your knee gently. “You comfortable, sweetheart?”

You nod, your fingers digging into the sheets.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” he tells you, settling himself between your legs and grasping his cock to gently prod at your entrance. “We’re gonna go gentle, alright? Gonna make it good for you. Haven’t I made it good for you so far?”

He feels your entrance give way to the tip of him as you breathe out. “Yes, Captain.”

Steve watches as he presses inside of you, his jaw clenching as his head is enveloped by overwhelming warmth. You’re wet enough that he thinks if he just gave one good thrust, he’d slide right in.

His cock reaches the end of you and you cry out sharply. Your hands come up to his torso, almost trying to push him away, but his cock feels so good nestled inside you good and deep. Steve can’t help himself but grasp you around the wrists and diverts your arms down over your head, holding them there with one hand. He leans over, face to face with you, watching tears pool in your eyes.

“It hurts.”

It hurts because he’s the first man inside you, the first to feel you like this. Steve moans at the desperate clench of your cunt around him. It’s torture not to move now that his cock is surrounded by tight, soft, warmth. He presses his face between your breasts, breathes in the clean scent of you; washed sheets and woman.

He squeezes your hands with his when he pulls his hips back, loosens his grip when he pushes through the resistance of your tight cunt once again. He can hear as well as feel the wetness trying to welcome him inside.

“You hear your cunt around my cock? I know it hurts, but your body wants me,” he tells you, pressing kisses up your neck as his hips start to move more steadily. “You need me.”

He thinks you answer, your response half gasp, but he’s too far gone to comprehend anyway. Steve groans into your neck as he fucks you, long and deep, his only favour to you keeping his strokes slow for now. He can feel your cunt squeezing around him, but he doesn’t care to know if it feels good for you yet. Doesn’t want to think about it when he knows he deserves to keep going even if you are in pain.

When he finally feels your legs moving to wrap around his waist, he risks looking at your sweet face again. He growls at the sight of you, your head thrown back in delight.

“Knew you’d love it,” he says, leaning up to press more kisses to your mouth. “Tell me how it feels.”

“So good. I didn’t know it could feel like this,” you whisper. “Thank you, Captain.”

Steve feels his balls pull tight at your words, his hips moving suddenly with more aggression. The push and pull, the desperate need to move in you suddenly too much for him to care about keeping himself gentle. 

“Again,” he says, teeth together, his lips pressed at the top of your cheek next to your ear. “Say it again.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“Again,” he groans, his hand digs into your wrists enough that he just knows he’ll leave bruises in his wake. He hopes you’ll feel them throb tomorrow and think about him, crave him again. Steve brings his other hand down between your legs, playing with your clit roughly as you keen.

“Thank you! Thank you, Captain.”

His head feels light when you come, mewling while you clamp down on his cock, your cunt begging him to fill you right. Steve wants you addicted. He wants you to know that no matter who comes after, he’ll always be the one that took you best. 

You’re whimpering when the knot in his stomach snaps and he finally cums inside you, overstimulated and weak, but holding his hips tight with your legs anyway, encouraging him to keep fucking into you until he’s sated. The relief is overwhelming. Steve falls against you, burying his face in your chest again. He lets go of your wrists to wrap his arms around your waist, and your hands go to his hair. You brush through it with your fingers, petting his sweaty forehead lovingly.

Your legs are shaking around him when Steve finally pulls his softened cock free, unable to stop himself from watching your swollen centre dripping with your slick and his cum. He pulls his shirt off his overheated body, fights his trousers from his warm legs. Steve’s exhausted, but when he glances over at you again, lying ruined at his side, his tender cock jolts with interest. He curses the serum for his recovery time, knowing there’s no way he’ll be able to take you again today.

He lets himself fall beside you, sighing. Steve watches your breath even out, the rise and fall of your breasts hypnotising until you turn to look at him, capturing his eyes with your gaze. Suddenly, he’s feeling a touch ashamed. He’d lost control near the end there. His thoughts were too shameful to ever share, but you must have felt the aggression in his movements. The way he’d held you down.

“I didn’t hurt you at all?”

“No,” you breathe. “No, it was wonderful. Thank you, Captain.”

Your breathy voice sends a tingle down his spine, the reminder of what pushed him over the edge. Before he can help it his cock is swollen and pink against his stomach. Steve hums awkwardly, reaching for a pillow to cover himself when you notice. Your hands press against his chest as you sit up.

“You need further relief,” you say, climbing into his lap.

“No- I mean,” he stumbles, his cock throbbing at the thought of having your cunt around him again. “Not if you’re sore. You need to heal, right? I think-”

You breathe a low shhh into his ear, grasping his cock and bringing the red tip to your entrance. “Your seed will soothe me best.”

He watches you on top of him as you ride him, looking for pain in your expression. He finds only satisfaction, and lets himself enjoy the woman sitting on his cock for his pleasure. You don’t come again, physically couldn’t after tipping over the edge so many times already. When he fills you up one more time, you moan low and long, squirming over him like the feeling of his warm seed in your cunt has genuinely soothed the ache he’d left behind.

Afterwards, you settle back into the bed like lovers, a leg thrown over his abdomen, your head resting against his shoulder while he smooths his hand up and down the soft skin of your back. You look demure once more, shy in spite of what just happened. Your gaze shifts from your fingers on his chest to his face, hurrying away again when you find him already staring at you. Steve pauses, the euphoria of having you giving way to the dread of what you will have to go through soon.

Other men.

“I’ll speak to Thor,” he declares assuredly. “I'll tell him to keep you away from the others. That I want you to be mine only.” 

There is something strange in your gaze, then. Pity? Maybe you think it’s impossible, that nothing can save you from your fate. Steve makes to continue, to convince you, but you give a soft shhh. “Don’t speak of it, please? I want to enjoy being with you now.”

“Of course you can,” he rushes, feeling foolish now for shattering the calm that had surrounded you. “Does it...do you feel alright?”

“I feel wonderful, Captain.” you whisper, smiling at him tenderly.

“Steve,” he corrects, finally, feeling he’s enjoyed hearing you call him Captain more than he deserves already. “My name’s Steve Rogers.” You only hum in answer, settling back into his shoulder as if to rest. He realises he wants that, too. He wants to sleep here, holding you in his arms. 

He will speak to Thor tomorrow. He’ll keep his girl protected. “Hey,” he whispers, hoping you aren’t lost to him yet. “What’s your name?”

But you’re silent, already sleeping.

The next morning when you wake up, Steve is pressed tight against your back, his body overwhelmingly warm. The soft sheets, the roughness of his chest hair on your back, it’s heavenly. You think that you would be happy to settle in this very spot, never move for the rest of your life.

But you can’t. The sun is rising outside, calling you to start your day, and you must leave before the Captain wakes up. Gently, carefully, you unwrap his arm from your stomach, shifting out of the bed quietly. You wince as you stand, an unfamiliar throb between your legs which reminds you how fully this man took you. It hurts, but it brings a pleasant feeling from your core upwards. How wonderful to have been taken so thoroughly.

You stare at Steve as you dress yourself. The pleasant path his nose takes from his face, his full bottom lip, those eyelashes fanned out against the top of his cheeks. His soft blonde hair is messy from a deep, satisfying sleep, but maybe also from your time together. Your cheeks heat up.

You’re desperate to kiss him. But you don’t deserve it, not after lying to him the way that you did.  

You’re lucky he hasn’t woken already. You tip toe away from him and out the door of his room. As you walk to your destination, you avoid meeting the gaze of passers by, wondering how many in the palace will already know what transpired between you and Thor’s noble friend from Earth. There’s no shame in what you did with him, it’s as natural as breathing. But you are ashamed to think of how it happened.

When you reach the Prince’s private rooms, you’re led in by a guard who was already expecting you, and you find your Prince enjoying the mouth of another servant. You avert your eyes as he finishes.

He calls you over as the girl stands, clapping his hands in excitement. “How was your time with my friend?”

You nod, the memory sweet despite your deception of Steve. “Pleasing, Your Highness,” 

He roars a pleased laugh, slamming his hands together in a pleased clap that practically shakes the room. “I knew he’d want to feel like he was saving you from my terrible cruelty,” he chuckles. “I’m sure he liked knowing you were untouched too.” 

You don’t reply, hoping he won’t question you any further. You’re not proud of lying to Steve, of telling him that you’d be forced into attending Thor’s celebrations, that he and his comrades would treat you terribly. The reality was that it had always been your choice whether to join in; who you wanted to be with, whether you wanted to be with anyone at all. Even the choice to deceive Steve had been yours to make in the end. 

You’d idolised him from the way Thor had described him when he returned from Earth. Kind, brave, and honourable. And then to see him, as handsome as he is. 

The truth was you wanted him. You wanted him to take you first, and you would have done whatever Thor told you to do if it meant you could have him touch you.

Thor’s voice is calm when he says, “I assume he wasn’t rough with you.”

You think about Steve’s hands holding you down, and you feel the painful throb in your wrists. You’d cried out under him, but his thrusts were unwavering. It only sends heat through your core. 

“Not at all, Your Highness.”

[sepublic]

Amity’s Guilt is Complicated

           I feel like another tragedy to the revelations of Understanding Willow is that… Had it been revealed that it WAS Amity’s decision to reject Willow as initially believed, that’d have made things a lot simpler. At that point, the scenario is clear-cut and dry; Amity did a bad thing, she should apologize, recognize that what she did was incorrect, etc. Willow’s anger at Amity and betrayal would be far less tragic, because Amity DID bring this upon herself, admittedly- Even if she has changed for the better.

           …But it’s not that easy. It’s not as easy as ‘Amity did wrong and Willow is right to be angry’, even if that isn’t incorrect, either. But there’s a lot more nuance to the situation; Specifically in not just Odalia and Alador threatening Amity… But them threatening Willow as well. And then the situation and the anger becomes a lot more complicated, because- Amity wasn’t acting selfishly, not completely. She arguably didn’t have much of, if ANY, choice in what to do- That her rejection of Willow was the only thing Amity could’ve done, and/or it was the BEST decision in that scenario… So surely she can’t be blamed, it’s okay right?

           The thing is, it’s not. Even if you went with the idea that Amity did the best thing in that scenario, whether or not you believe that this was Amity’s only choice- She still genuinely hurt and traumatized Willow. Like, regardless of the discussion of how Amity should’ve defended Willow from Boscha and the others more, and not participated in the bullying herself (and that segues into another speculation about how Amity may not have even been malicious in that scenario), Willow has every right to be angry at Amity. Amity had her ostracized, Amity betrayed her… And even if Amity WAS forced to do it, even if there was arguably no other choice to make, even if Willow would’ve done the same, had their positions been reversed…

           Amity still traumatized her best friend. And Willow can’t ignore that, and it’s harder for her to just be angry at Amity, because with the original explanation, she knows all of her anger is justified, there’s nothing to sweat about. But now, the truth makes it more complicated; That Amity was also acting in Willow’s best interest, as much as she could’ve. Amity herself is ALSO a victim, but then so is Willow, and it’s a lethal cycle of abuse. Suddenly, the conflict is not as simple as ‘Amity apologizes and changes her behavior’, because now Odalia and Alador come into the stage to complicate things, to influence interactions as their own players. Amity and Willow’s friendship isn’t exactly confined/isolated any longer, they now have to consider Amity’s parents and address that.

           It could’ve been the end of the problems, had it been just Amity who rejected Willow. But because we know of her parents and what they did… The resolution and reveal takes on a bittersweet twist, because we know that things are worse, that Amity is still actively suffering, and has been for all of her life. We’ve just discovered a new problem on our hands, and the issue has expanded to an almost systemic range; As now Luz has to tackle the very environment that made Amity the way she was. And said ‘environment’ is not passive, but a very active duo of people who are aggressive about what they want, and straight-up dangerous.

           And likewise- Can Willow continue to be angry at Amity? Can she allow herself to, or does her righteous rage feel invalidated? Even if Willow were to redirect her anger at Odalia and Alador, again- Amity still went through with it. It’d be so much easier if Amity had agency in her rejection, but she didn’t, and now Willow has to figure out whether or not she can forgive Amity because of this, in addition to her changed behavior; And whether or not she needs to forgive Amity in order to reconnect. Because Amity’s rejection was no doubt one of the most definitive turning points in Willow’s life, and she clearly misses those innocent times they had together.

           It’d be easy to just go back to that, because Amity didn’t REALLY mean it, she was forced to… But Willow can’t forget what happened. And even if she can’t fault Amity for what she did, Willow is still justified in not wanting to reconnect- That she’s no longer as mad, but they still can’t be friends because damage HAD been dealt, regardless of the reason. Because there’s a difference between not blaming Amity for what she did, and deciding to go back to being friends- They are not mutually inclusive.

          It’s a messy dilemma, and in some ways it makes it easier to forgive- But in other ways, it makes past resentment and justified feelings of negativity a lot harder to bear, because now Willow is doubting herself and if her emotions are okay. If she’s valid in still not quite being ready to forgive Amity, for still feeling angry with Amity about what happened in the past, even with new context. And it just makes Willow question if by forgiving, she’s being too weak and allowing others to step over her; Or by still maintaining her anger, Willow is being too harsh and bitter.

           Willow at least understands, a lot more- But can she forgive? And it just plays into her explaining to Amity that it’s a start; That even if things are no longer adversarial between them, they still have yet to genuinely interact with one another on their own, of their own volitions, and not over their shared friend Luz. Willow might’ve accepted that her friendship with Amity was irreparable if she knew that it was Amity’s fault; But with the truth of Odalia and Alador, it’s a lot harder to make that kind of condemnation, and a lot more frustrating because the situation is no longer black-and-white, and thus making the decision of forgiveness a lot more clear-cut and dry, because Willow understands exactly how she feels about this or that.

           Maybe that’s part of the reason why Amity never explained to Willow, why they couldn’t be friends at first; Aside from the issue of not wanting to admit that her parents are abusive to someone else (especially given Odalia and Alador’s emphasis on making the Blight family look good), maybe Amity thought it’d be easier to handle the rejection, if Willow wasn’t mired by the complexity of the situation. That it’d be easier to handle the loss of friendship for Willow, if Willow was able to hate Amity- But now that she can’t, that just makes what was lost so much more painful. Still, it’s closure, and it’s the truth- And that’s what Willow deserves. And I don’t think Amity and Willow could truly reconcile, had Amity not admitted this- Because it’d always be in the back of her head, a secret kept, information that the other deserves to know.

           In some ways, I guess I could liken the situation to Lilith in Agony of a Witch; How she was being threatened with execution by Belos… How she was planning to cure Eda and rescue her from a fate worse than death, how she didn’t necessarily capture Luz on her own, Luz was already to be arrested for trying to steal the Healing Hat; How Lilith did everything with the best intentions, perhaps the only thing she could’ve done… But in the end, Luz and Eda are fully justified in their trauma, and any resentment they hold towards Lilith regardless. And it’s painful, because you can argue that Lilith doesn’t deserve to have this held against her; But the damage has been done. And even if Luz and Eda DO forgive her afterwards, all of their anger and betrayal at Lilith, for what she did during Agony of a Witch- It’s still justified. And it hurts, because Lilith didn’t truly choose this, she didn’t fully accept this of her own choice; She lacked quite a bit of agency.

          And while I don’t want to downplay the choices she did make, it just makes Luz and Eda (and Willow for Amity) be forced to consider things from her perspective, to challenge themselves with the question of what they’d have done, in that situation. And even if THEY, personally, would not have done the same; Lilith and Amity, they’re not the same person as them, for better or worse. They have different personality traits that aren’t better or worse, but can lead to them making the wrong decision in certain scenarios. The problem is more than just this individual, it’s other individuals, and even an entire system that enables and makes things worse; And now the protagonists have to confront that. Belos isn’t just a ‘bad egg’, his entire Coven System is inherently flawed and needs to be undone, too- Belos being more kind and well-meaning wouldn’t erase that.

           But while the actual nuance of the situation can make things more complicated, and a lot more difficult to figure out; In the end, I think it’s worth it, not just for the closure to find out the truth- But eventually, it CAN make forgiveness easier. However, the truth does make everything else that comes before that, a lot harder. The initial problem is no longer the root cause, but the symptom; And now the protagonists have to handle the very thing that causes all of these issues to arise as a result. Even if Amity apologized to Willow and changed her behavior, this all happened because of parental abuse- And she’s STILL undergoing parental abuse, and you can’t ignore this, the cat’s out of the bag and the can of worms have been opened. Even if Lilith figured out a way to cure Eda of the curse, she still cursed her sister because of a system set up by Belos; And there are plenty of other kids in that system, too.

[mc-critical]

On Hatice’s character, I feel like she more or less was cheated of a better character arc which could’ve made her more likeable or easier to understand (almost everyone I’ve encountered who is into the series has extreme distaste for her character.) Though I don’t necessarily feel any particular form of intensity towards her character I do wish she could have been explored a bit more? I can see why she wasn’t likely due to time constraints/needing to stay consistent with plot lines but it would have been nice to see. I feel like everytime Hatice was on screen, mentioned, or involved in the plot line it was in conjunction to or in relation to Ibrahim. Even after Ibrahim was dead, Hatice’s whole storyline was just..Ibrahim. It was clear that she was emotionally unstable and dealt with attachment issues from the start of the series, likely resulting trauma from her father’s bloody reign. We’re told she was “her parent’s favorite/the spoiled one” according to her siblings, we’re hinted at some sort of past fued between her and Sah but no real context. We rarely got to see her interact with her children. It’s like we only were given tiny bits and pieces of Hatice as her own person and everything else about her just existed to string Ibrahim along. It’s quite sad..what do you think?

Eh, I absolutely adore Hatice as a character and I feel she got a very solid, well-written character arc. I'm pleased with what we got with her in the show and I think that her nuance tends to be massively overlooked.

The center of her character is not really Ibrahim, but rather the line between family and dynasty. And while that seems to be attributed with Ibrahim in the strongest way, it also channels in who Hatice is as a person and her interactions with other characters like her mother, Süleiman and Hürrem.

Hatice has always been the sultana of blood that is closest to the dynasty, but also the one that wants to detach the most from it. As you said, she had lingering trauma from her father's reign /which indeed is only hinted, to be honest, but that's the whole backstory of Selim Yavuz, what we got from his cruelty in the show was basically hints two flashbacks. We were told by Süleiman of his defining deed, we were told by Valide and Hatice that they saw his father in him, but the rest remained pretty much vague, which isn't a problem with Hatice's character. However, it may come off as a problem with SS's character, since more backstory would better explain his paranoia outside of actions of the "suspects" taken out of context, would render Mustafa's death a little more understandable and would highlight even more his character arc, for Selim Yavuz was his "Azraeel", according to him, but that is a post for another day./, but on a more personal note, she has witnessed the death her former husband, which puts her panic and fear over death in another light. Her backstory isn't that focused on, because it's not all that important for her character arc: because while Mahidevran has to get over her past and Şah Sultan tries to consistently set herself for the future, Hatice has to face the events of the present. She's an effective deconstruction of the Princess Classic trope she started up as: an innocent, fragile, kind hearted princess, no sign of trauma whatsoever who strives to create a family of her own, as a bonus. After she meets Ibrahim, she feels like she wants to be in that adventure with him, she not only falls in love with him, but he fills her with hopes and dreams for a better life. Look how when she marries him she wanted to get out of Topkapi as soon as possible and always repeated that she wanted for them to be a family, that she wanted to have piece. Even her love for Ibrahim is much more deep seated than some plain obsession that is only used as a plot device or to prop him up. She's grown with beliefs that have been a part of her life and sometimes she lets them out out of sheer ignorance, no matter how much independence she wants in her personal life. Her whole relationship with Ibrahim is a back and forth conflict between dynasty and family that is only a vector for her arc, not the entirety of it.

It's often ignored how pivotal is Hatice's relationship with Valide. The closeness she has with her, especially compared to her other sisters, shaped up all of Hatice's life long beliefs. Namely Valide is the root of Hatice's love and respect for the dynasty, being next to its female representative her entire life (see also Valide's flashbacks in E58) and witnessing the way she dealt with things, the way she ruled the harem, the way she made decisions. Even Hatice herself considered her as her role model and wanted to be like her. (she told her this in E61) It was as if Valide was a preserver of all the virtues Hatice deemed as worth having. She has a tremendous respect for her and her opinions and this is what brought her to hide her love for Ibrahim more than anything. The respect she has for the ottoman laws and the ottoman dynasty and the ways she got used to them made her to do anything but admitting SS and Valide her true feelings.

Valide is an indirect reason of Hatice's supposedly "inpartial" point of view in the harem that let her judge things more fairly. It's not that Hatice was completely unbiased in her relationships with Mahidevran and Hürrem early on, because oh no, she wasn't, Hatice always was on the dynasty's side in this war, but for her dynasty always advocated fairness and preserving piece and order. She wasn't afraid to call out whoever she thought was wrong at any time and even when her bias had completely (and honestly, rightly in many aspects) impacted her in terms of Hürrem, she wasn't afraid to admit that she was right about Firuze after all. Hatice also has a very reactive personality: she doesn't let anyone provoke her and quickly responds when she's provoked. She's not provoked only about Ibrahim, she's also provoked when it comes to both family and dynasty, overall, seeing Hürrem and Mahidevran quarrel in E11, Fatma and the concubines challenging Hürrem in E47, Mahidevran attempting to kill Hürrem's children in E55, Mihrimah defending Hürrem in E84 etc. Whenever something she cares about is opposed or attacked by someone, she would always spring into action, which is a very consistent trend of her character as a whole.

{There are many reasons why I personally find Hatice sympathetic: she's one of the most ethical characters of the show, acting as a peacekeeper wanting to keep everyone out of their struggle, she's always ready to help, she cherishes love (her wanting to marry Sadıka to Matrakcı), there are so many people she cares about outside of just Ibrahim - Mahidevran, Mustafa, Valide, her sisters and their problems impact her as well, despite of how "self-centered" she may seem at first glance. She, just like MCK Gevherhan, is so humane to everyone she interacts with, trying her very best to empathize with them. (to the point Mahidevran told her in E05 that if she keeps up worrying only about them, she will wither in this palace) Her trauma and circumstance also bring in a lot of empathy for me, because significantly little of it is her own doing, compared to other characters. We see a character that deteoriates both internally and externally often as a consequence of her simply fearing she would lose everyone she loves and that her life would be once again, filled with illnesses and death.}

[Truth be told, I don't get the Hatice hate, like AT. ALL. I don't know about you, but people I've encountered on the Internet couldn't give me a valid reason as to why they hate Hatice so much. They either reduce her to a "whiny", "crying", "spoiled" or "evil" bitch, either say they hate her because she breaks down a lot or because stood up against Hürrem for no reason, which is totally untrue, in my opinion. I genuinely haven't seen one (1) good argument as to why she deserves such ire. They mostly look at a more dimensional version of S03 Hatice and forget everything that set up S03 Hatice, or they hate Hatice exclusively because of S03, which.... eh? I would dare say that there are more reasons to hate Mahidevran than there ever were to hate Hatice (even though the hate directed at Mahidevran is, once again, for all the wrong reasons) and if someone gave me an actually good reason to hate Mahidevran, I would understand, but Hatice? Even her more questionable actions were ultimately provoked by something or someone.]

Her first traumatic experiences in the present is also connected to the kids she's lost. Yeah, giving her more time with her living children and seeing her more as a mother is the one thing I would definetly change in her writing. We didn't get enough of that and it would be a breath of fresh air. But then again, losing so many could've demotivated her and the last time she was pregnant we also had this prevailing, but understandable fear. It also just doesn't play such a big part in her deconstrustion-to-become-flanderization-in-character-development arc.

We gain a gradual, broader perspective into her a bit later in the narrative, and perhaps that eventually broken first impression would cause disappointment - Hatice could be prideful and while she wants to detach from the dynasty for her family, she values her own position and the rights that are offered with it. She could be easily offended by remarks made to startle her. She could be demanding sometimes. But that existed along with her good traits. Hatice was the most reasonable and morally unproblematic character of the main cast overall and by S01/2, that truly showed.

If we refer only to S03 Hatice, it would make a tiny bit more sense for people to not find her that sympathetic. Because while she underwent a good flanderization arc, it's still flanderization and some traits of hers seem to be more present than others in that season, especially knowing the trajectory of said arc. It may look like there isn't a sympathetic reason to do what she does, as if she's like this all of the sudden. But here's the rub: season 3 wasn't supposed to give this much context to Hatice's actions, it's the pay-off of a build-up, the peak of her arc that leads to a resolution. Season 3 wasn't supposed to repeat stuff that has already been established, all Hatice is doing there, has been set up for an entire season, if not more. We already know what's driving her, we already have the sympathetic reasons. That's why all the attention is given to her actions that bring her to tragedy, not to introspective scenes.

Back to Ibrahim's relation to Hatice's character: A common affirmation I hear is that Hatice's rift with Hürrem was caused thanks to Ibrahim and Ibrahim alone. There's so much more to it than that! While we had the scene that started the build-up and the one that ended it be about a possible/already a fact infidelity of Ibrahim's as a parallel, these are only a part of it, not it in its entirety. Keep in mind that the one thing that fully set the upcoming enmity in motion during S03 is Hürrem taking Valide's chambers. And at first Hatice wasn't about to blame Hürrem for it all when she went to tell it to his majesty (her saying to Gülfem that it doesn't matter who told her about the affair) with her claiming that Hü ruined her life only after their confrontation for Valide's chambers. And here we return to the center of Hatice's character: thing is, whether we liked it or not, Hürrem always was a threat to the dynasty in Hatice's eyes. Şah asked her the infamous question: "The dynasty or Ibrahim?" when she was asked why is Hürrem a threat in E81, but I think both are in conjunction, yet independent of each other here. Hatice values tradition just like her mother and Hürrem breaking them all would cause some kind of disturbance. She got distraught right after she was freed and married, claiming that it had to be stopped before it happened, look also how she told Afife Hatun that Hürrem had to be gotten rid of because she caused unrest in the harem! Not only Ibrahim's death, but Valide's death impacted her so much, she thought someone had to supposedly protect the dynasty for what is to come before everything goes haywire and that's what she attempted to do the entire time. In S03A personal motives clearly ran together with the apparent protection of the dynasty (I sometimes like to parallel Hatice's dynasty with Kösem's state in my head, despite that Kösem's urge to protect the state comes more with her role as a ruler and regent and measures out of necessity, while Hatice's comes from willingness to preserve balance and harmony in a more personal level.) and she considered Hürrem as a threat to everything Hatice believes in. She seems to also take on her mother's footsteps in that regard, in a way, using common for Valide methods like sending a concubine to SS etc. She considers Hürrem a threat for her own stability and well-being and that isn't limited to just Ibrahim.

Her relationship with SS is the one that is probably the most connected to Ibrahim, judging by their first more "nuanced" scene for me (him deciding to marry Ibro and Hati) and fallout (the confrontation for Ibrahim's death), but that could be also connected to what Hatice has previously experienced and genuine respect for him as a brother before all the rocky stuff happened. And interestingly, her deep resentment and then despise of him is targeted at him bringing Hürrem to their lives, not simply just killing Ibrahim, though that was also an intensely strong motivator of hers.

Hatice's bond with Mustafa is also strong even before she fell in love with Ibrahim. She also considered him "the future of the dynasty", played with him in the gardens, comforted him in tough times when she could. They didn't have as many scenes together, but the relationship added a good amount of flavor to her character.

A reason why I think Hatice's relationship with Mahidevran is so precious and criminally underrated, is that this is the relationship least centered on Ibrahim, second only to Hatice's with Valide. Their scenes early on is mostly them being there for each other and being happy with each other's moments of good time. They're very bound to each other and are very good friends that still have a dynamic relationship. The temporary S02B fallout between them has everything to do with Hatice's disappointment and disbelief of Mahidevran's own failings. She also threatened something Hatice cared about and did something she didn't expect of her. And that isn't barely noticeable, Hürrem even remarked that Mahidevran is becoming alone in E58. (oh my, I hate this scene with passion, but anyway.) After that their dynamic then remained basically intact for S03, expect that they could act more like allies than friends. But that's a given, due to the more intense events in the palace and the tonal shift of the show.

I find her dynamic with Şah fascinating due to their contrasting personalities and strained, yet loving relationship. The feud between them had enough context given to us through Beyhan's words to Şah in E83: that Hatice not only was Valide's favorite, but she apparently had the life Şah wanted to have, which explains Şah's ambition and supposed distance and secrecy well enough. More backstory would mean destroying the interesting duality in the relationship and wouldn't make Şah's motivation half as interesting and uniquely presented as it was, to be honest. Which is why I find her dynamic with Hatice way more interesting than her dynamic with Hürrem (which is good, too, but pretty generic), but that's also a post for another day. But Hatice is actually the more open person in this dynamic and the one more revealing her feelings. Şah wanted her to move on from her losses, but Hatice objects so strongly because it all has gotten to a completely personal level, with Şah trying to redecorate her castle, it would look like she's trying to change her from the outset, her as a person, which is something Hatice would never agree with. But then again, it's clearly shown that deep down Şah cares about what Hatice wants and is trying to do the best for her in her own way. And the emphasis is again put on family: they still get along and reconcile, setting their differences aside.

Many of Hatice's introspective scenes were with Gülfem and while they talked about Ibrahim many times, we could still see the amount of powerful support between them. Hatice shared everything with Gülfem, it was as if they knew everything about each other. They were each other's comfort.

She showed moral support to Beyhan, as well. That is another familial relationship that shows both casual and profound interactions. It's not there as much, but that's more because of Beyhan's limited screentime, not because of something to do with Hatice.

Even her arc with Ibrahim isn't all about him, but is also tied to the core of her character. The line between dynasty and family drives their whole fallout and if it wasn't there, the conflict between them wouldn't ever take place. Hatice ultimately forgiving Ibrahim is more about her getting out of her own dynastic outlook, which is a relevant character development of hers that happens along with her flanderization. And that plot-line is as important as the flanderization, even more so, and it pushes it forward. It was a resolution of the conflict with family and dynasty in Hatice, not exactly forgiving Ibrahim just for Ibrahim. (that is also a factor, no doubt, because she loves him and he is a part of her character, but not all her character.)

Overall, for me Hatice is a multi-faceted, amazing character that is actually very fleshed out in the span of three seasons. I don't find much issue with her writing: everything that happened with her is logical and well-explained if you look closely enough and I don't want more for her arc. It was original and outstanding for what it was, both as a character concept and a dynastic sultana of the franchise.

[iturbide]

Unrelated to FE, what did you think of the recent dragalia event with Luca and Isaac?

LOOK. I LOVE MY BOY. I WAS SO HYPED THAT HE GOT TO STAR IN A SIDE EVENT.

BUT OH, MY BOY FUCKED UP BAD.

I know he wasn't being malicious, but he made a huge error while he was trying to help, and there were major consequences for it. The fact that he had to grapple with this was really engaging, and I liked that the core conflict that the siblings ended up on opposite sides of was a grey one, rather than there being an obvious 'right' and 'wrong' take: there's clear value in what exists here and now, but there's equal value in old traditions that keep us connected to our individual cultures and heritage. I kind of wish we'd gotten to see more of the actual practices and traditions from that Sylvan village, but there's only so much hard worldbuilding they could do, and I respect that.

But probably my favorite thing about it was that my boy managed to kick a hardline traditionalist into recognizing that he was thinking about everything wrong. Frankly? Luca was right: tradition isn't dead until every last practitioner is, so Isaac's immediate defeatism when Yggdrasil withered, as though the root of Sylvans' entire culture had died with it, didn't make any kind of sense. The fact that Yggdrasil comes back just adds to this, especially since Isaac made it so clear that the dragon was so sensitive to the feelings of its people: it seems entirely possible to me that Yggdrasil's widespread withering might have been partly the fault of the traditionalists, who gave into despair as they rigidly clinging to the notion that change is cultural death; and its rebirth came only after they let go of that mindset and embraced the notion that they were the heart of their tradition and could endure with the support of Sylvans from outside the village who share in that bond of kinship and cultural heritage.

Overall I loved the event, I loved that Luca had a chance to shine and show off what makes him so great, and I loved that it ended on a hopeful note even though things changed. Luca might not have been the main focus, since Sarisse was the character we spent most of our time following in the story, but he was still a key part of that satisfying resolution because it was his perspective that opened Isaac's eyes. It was so much more nuanced as a story than I usually expect from a mobile game and I just found it well-handled on the whole.

[portmanteaurian]

So this year I, like a lot of people, was going through some stuff. And the way I coped, particularly over the summer, was by reading. I read between 275 and 300 books this year (final count pending), which is certainly the most I’ve done in at least a decade. And a lot of them were very good! I narrowed myself down to a list of forty recommendations, with short write-ups of ten, and made a point of not repeating authors. You can see everything else on my StoryGraph account though.

YA/MG:

The Beast Player - Nahoko Uehashi trans. Cathy Hirano

Death Sets Sail - Robin Stevens

Echo After Echo - A.R. Capetta

Half World - Hiromi Goto

A Phoenix First Must Burn: Sixteen Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope - ed. Patrice Caldwell

Shadow of the Batgirl - Sarah Kuhn & Nicole Goux

A Song Below Water - Bethany C. Morrow

The Scapegracers - Hannah Abigail Clarke

YA contemporary fantasy is obviously a well-trodden genre, but this felt like a really fresh take. Sharp prose, interesting magic system, and a really fantastic and original-feeling POV character. I can’t wait for the sequel.

We Are Not Free - Traci Chee

This is a historical novel about residents of Japanese-American internment compounds during WWII, so it is not a light read. But it was powerfully emotionally affecting, and really compelling from a craft perspective as well; each chapter is narrated by a different character, and seeing how all the perspectives intersect is really remarkable.

ADULT FICTION (mostly spec):

A Choir of Lies - Alexandra Rowland

The City We Became - N.K. Jemisin

The Empress of Salt and Fortune - Nghi Vo

The Four Profound Weaves - R.B. Lemberg

Homesick: Stories - Nino Cipri

Master of Poisons - Andrea Hairston

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Phoenix Extravagant - Yoon Ha Lee

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

The Seep - Chana Porter

Skin Deep Magic - Craig Laurance Gidney

Stormsong - C.L. Polk

Freshwater - Akwaeke Emezi

One hell of a debut novel. Emezi has said it’s largely autobiographical, which makes it one of two really unique takes on autobiography and memoir that I’ve read this year. It’s about trauma, immigration, queerness, disability...I really just recommend you read it, though perhaps after checking a summary, as it deals very frankly with some potentially triggering subjects.

Not So Stories - ed. David Thomas Moore

This year I spent a lot of time with short stories and novellas, which is a little unusual for me. Several collections made a strong impression (there’s a few others on this list), but I adore the conceit of this one, which features a group of authors of colour responding to Kipling’s intensely colonial “Just So Stories” by writing new fables of their own. Some directly riff on Kipling’s tales, others go in entirely new directions, but all are really effective.

The Raven and the Reindeer - T Kingfisher

Kingfisher is one of those authors I discovered this year who I am shocked I had never read earlier. She’s prolific, works in genres I like, and is beloved by several of my friends. Consider this book a stand-in for her catalogue in general on this list, although of all the books by her I read it’s the only direct fairy-tale retelling. Really great take on Andersen’s Snow Queen

The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood

This was just a ton of fun. Very queer, frequently hilarious, in a totally bizarre fantasy world (worlds, even!) and with a great protagonist. Another really confident debut novel, and another one where I can’t wait to check out where the series goes from here.

NONFIC:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - Bessel van der Kolk

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the 21st Century - ed. Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space - Amanda Leduc

Distorted Descent: White Claims to Indigenous Identity - Darryl Leroux

In the Dream House - Carmen Maria Machado

The other unique memoir I alluded to above, Machado non-linearly unpacks an abusive relationship she experienced with incredible clarity and artfulness. As someone who’s experienced abuse, parts were very familiar, and Machado’s writing is very effective at laying a situation bare (a skill she uses to great effect in her short fiction as well). This book also has some of the most memorable and narratively impactful citations I have ever seen. Read it to understand how that’s the case.

The North-West is our Mother - Jean Teillet

This is straight-up a history book but it’s a very clear and engaging one. For people who’ve ever wanted to know more about Métis people and our history, particularly in the 19th and early-20th century, this is going to be one of my go-to recs. It’s a little sparser with the more recent stuff, but there are other books to fill that gap.

ROMANCE:

Band Sinister - K.J. Charles

The Doctor’s Discretion - E.E. Ottoman

Invitation to the Dance - Tamara Allen

Two Rogues Make a Right - Cat Sebastian

Silver in the Wood - Emily Tesh

A Taste of Honey - Kai Ashante Wilson

Behind These Doors - Jude Lucens

This year is really the first I’ve read romance in any serious way, but I did read a lot of it and learned a fair amount about what I like. This ticks a lot of those boxes (historical [Edwardian, in this case]! Gay! Engages honestly with social issues of the period!) while also being a story about people negotiating polyamory, with much of the conflict being rooted in how one effectively communicates with the people they care about. Really different from anything else I read, and really well-done.

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows - Olivia Waite

This is probably my favourite romance novel of the year. It’s a slow-burn Regency story about the relationship between two middle-aged working women, a beekeeper and a bookseller. It’s also a story about prejudice, mob mentality, and the intense class divide in Regency England -- the Peterloo massacre is a significant element, and the way that opposition to it brought together a coalition of different social groups that ultimately could not hold due to other prejudices dividing them. It’s really nuanced, and really effective. Also, I am assured by a lesbian friend that the sex scenes are very hot.

SO ANYWAY. A lot of recommendations, and more detail about some of the ones I most encourage people to pick up. Really in my opinion you can’t go wrong with any of these, though, and I hope you take a look at some next time you’re searching for something to read!

What a year, huh?

[handlewithkara]

I know I’ve been radio silent for a kind of unacceptably wrong time, but actually I have been writing. I have even sent stuff off to the beta (1 fluffy established relationship smut, one angsty one night stand and the entirety of “All The Boys I Used to Love”) and I have real hopes about posting them. 

Anyway, I’ve also been thinking a lot about various Karamel things and there are some things I really need to get off my chest. So sorry about long rambling and bad screenshots. 

Mon-El:  You should, uh, know that you deserve the same compassion that you show others.

Kara: I forgive you. 

I think there is a reason why I and I'm sure many other Karamel fans found this moment to be absolutely beautiful. Because even beyond getting to see them on screen together again, getting to see them talk, have a real conversation, a lot of this moment made me want to pump my first and shout "Yes!!! Exactly!". Because there is just so much TRUTH in that statement, in that scene.

This scene also made me want to go back and talk again about the reveal of Mon-El's true identity and Kara's subsequent forgiveness. Now I will be the first to admit I get why some people are unhappy with it and I'm sure there are many Karamel fans who would have welcomed it if it had taken Karamel longer to reconnect after the truth came out. But just because it can be argued that it was rushed or that it wasn't great that the moment of forgiveness happened essentially on another show, I feel like going back and remembering and even defending that nonetheless there were some really good touches in how the storyline of Kara's forgiveness played out.

1.) First I think it has to be acknowledged that Kara is a deeply forgiving person. Something we have seen over and over again, even long before Mon-El entered the scene. I think it is stressed the most in season 1 when Alex is clearly worried that Kara will hate her for taking the life of Astra, one of Kara's few living relatives. And instead Kara completely and unquestionably embraces Alex instead (a moment that I think is very well mirrored in season 5 when Kara doesn't have even an ounce of grudge or hesitancy when Alex lashes out at her after Jeremiah's death). But we have seen this in smaller ways as well, whether it is Kara reaching out to, showing empathy with, connecting to or befriending people, who would be "rivals" in other shows (Lucy), or straight up villains (Leslie, Rhea and Sam/Reign come to mind, to showcase that this attitude is pretty much independant of deservedness). IMO even her clearly seeing past Cat's abrasive or insulting behavior and still seeing the good in her is a clear example of this.

2.) How Kara acted when she found out.

First I want to say: look, Kara knows what it is like to find out that a person you are emotinoally close to lies to you, to find out they were somebody else from what you thought they were and they have been keeping that from you.

And look how she didn't come up with a complex plan to screw Mon-El over and "make him feel the same kind of pain she felt". How she didn't lie to him and pretend to be okay and continue to relationship just so she could stab him in the back, steal from him and carry out a scheme to lobotomize the entire world just because she got hurt.

But I do want to stress, that isn't because she wasn't angry or because she is Kara and as such some kind of benevolent forgiving saint.

The very first scene after she finds out is her having dinner with the Daxamites. And Kara is passive aggressive pissy. And petty. There is this scene where she steers Mon-El into having to fess up and explain himself in front of everybody, something that he is clearly uncomfortable with.

Heck he even vocalizes it. 

Mon-El:  I'd rather not.

Kara:  No, no, Prince, by all means. Please tell us of your heroic escape.

What woud have been the 100% "saintly" reaction? I don't know. Maybe to cry and run off the moment she found out the truth? Or to immediately turn down dinner with the slave owning autocrats? But that's the kind of nuance I love about Kara as a character. Yes, the is good and forgiving and strong and awesome, but she also has a temper and she absolutely can be petty.

But the thing is... Kara's petty phase doesn't last long. By the end of the very same episode, Kara does the sane thing, the fair thing.

She demands an explanation. She cares about the details (”Were you ever gonna tell me the truth?”) She listens to what Mon-El has to say. She is not convinced. 

And she cuts Mon-El out of her life. THAT is the non psychopath thing to do when you are disappointed in somebody. When you think that they will just hurt and disappoint you again and you want to protect yourself.

Kara:  He lied to me about who he really is - for nine months. -  I can't shake it

Kara:  I don't even know who he is anymore.

Kara (about Winn’s girlfriend):  You're just going to forget about it? Aren't you afraid she's gonna hurt you again?

3.) Why Kara forgave him aka The Crossover.

I'm not going to pretend the crossover is perfect. There are many things worth criticiziing, whether it's from a meta level (was it a good idea that Karamel making up took place on a different show? should the focus have been more on Westallen?) to a structural one (the conflict Westallen have doesn't really match the conflict Karamel have all that well, nor does the problem of "Tommy" from the music world have that much in common with the real Mon-El, Musicmeister's action are really random and lack motivation). But going back to it I wanted to talk about it on a pure character level. Namely: What is the reason Kara forgives Mon-El? What motivates her?

Is it Musicmeister reminding her that she luuuves Mon-El, is it just because Musicmeister says so, is it jealousy, is it because she doesn't want to be single again, is it Mon-El having a good explanation, is it her being touched that Mon-El followed her, is it that she came close to dying?

No.

To me it is pretty clear that the focal point of the episode is this one.

Kara:  I think you're being a little tough on your son. [...] it's obvious why he didn't tell you right away. I mean, look at the way you're reacting. Maybe if you just listen and and hear his reasons and try to see things from his point of view maybe maybe you'd understand why he didn't tell you before now.

And that's why Mon-El's words about Kara's compassion for others ring so true. Because this is at the heart for why Kara re-embraced Mon-El. She gained some distance, looked at the situation from a different perspective and started thinking about it differently. Kara put herself in Mon-El's shoes and came to a conclusion about how he felt about the whole situation. That's why at the core of Kara's forgiveness is empathy and compassion.

Mon-El's motivations didn't change. They are still really sucky reasons. But Kara put herself in his shoes and empathized with him anyway and had compassion. All things she said are still valid, that she didn't deserve to be lied to, that Mon-El didn't give her a chance to react.

And that's why it felt so good when in s5 when Kara regained her spine, she stresses this. That her motivations do matter (and mind: Kara did listen to Mon-El's motivation and she did care about the details even before Musicmeister entered the scene). That the compassionate thing would have been to care about why Kara did it. Because when she shoe was on the other foot, that is exactly what Kara was willing to do. To first listen to Mon-El's explanation and then put herself in his shoes and empathize with how he got there and have compassion for him as a flawed person. Who did screw up but Kara is pretty damn bighearted. And that's why she rocks.

4.) So Mon-El's lie = Kara's lie?

So was Mon-El's lie about his identity basically the same thing as Kara's lie about her identity? I don't think so. I think there are both aspects that make it worse and aspects that make it better.

First the obvious one:

When Kara lies about Supergirl (or when Alex lied about working for the DEO), she is not lying about a morally bad thing. She is lying about a morally good thing. There is nothing morally reprehensible to most people about saving others or working to protect others.

By comparison, being the Prince of Daxam isn't just something many people would find morally objectionable as long as they knew the details of it (imo picture it less as fairy tale prince and more like "actually my dad is Saddam Hussein/Bashar Al Assad/Kim Jong Un"), it's also something that Mon-El specifically knew Kara disapproved of.

So regardless of whether one agrees with that Kara's blanket dislike of "The Prince" was justified, Mon-El knew that she had a strong opinion on this and hence knowing about this aspect of his life would be something she would reasonably want to know about, care about and it might have a big influence on her opinion on him.

Secondly, after the nature of what Mon-El is lying about, there is the is the aspect of motivation. Let me stress once more that the story has made it clear that motivation is something Kara does care about. That's why she cared about asking Mon-El to explain himself (after some encouragement from Alex and Winn). it’s what Mon-El talks about in 100, that Kara’s motivation matters and that's why in season 5 when she puts her foot down she makes it clear that her motives to lie do matter. 

And the thing is: Mon-El doesn't have a good explanation for it. There is no "well the government told me to" or "I did it for personal safety or to protect the safety of others", no "I lied becasue I was trying to save the life of my bother", no "well if I told the truth our parents would start a mob war", there is only "I was lying, but I wished it was true" and "I was worried about what your reaction would be". (let me note here: I actually like that about the story, that there is little attempt of the story to muddle the waters here and justify it. Mon-El screwed up, Mon-El is contrite, Kara is willing to give forgiveness despite there not being any excusing additional aspects).

So far, so reprehensible, right?

Well to me there is one thing that makes Mon-El's lie about his identity different than Kara's lie about being Supergirl/an alien, that I think has a meaningful influence on why Kara was willing to forgive and embrace. At this point in the story, "being the prince of Daxam" wasn't really an active part of Mon-El's life. It was part of his past.

Yes we can discuss whether you can ever truly shake off that kind of privilege or what you were taught, but the base point of it is that Mon-El didn't really lead a double life with Kara. He didn't pretend to be the perfect little boyfriend with her and then turned around and snuck off to lead a life of Daxamite privilege and decadence. When he said he was going to work, he really went to work. He had no access to that life of privilege anymore and he made no moves to regain it. All the things that Kara cared about: his feelings for her, him being flawed but trying to be better were still very much there (Alex: “Maybe he's just a guy who's ashamed of his past, and he's looking for a fresh start.”). 

Similarly, all the flaws that Kara might associate with being the prince (like promiscuity, laziness, cowardice) were still visible and present in Mon-El before she knew he was the prince.  

When Mon-El lied about his idenity, he lied about a part of himself that he at the very least had mixed feelings about and eventually grew to actively dislike and try to get rid off. A part of himself he didn't actively engage in and that he eventually went to great lengths to reject.

By comparison when Kara hides that part of herself, she hides something about herself that still very much takes up large chunks of her time, that is very meaningful to her and that she has every intention of carrying on, of keeping up.

Mon-El lied about his past, Kara lied about her present. That's why I think if somebody dealing with Kara found about Supergirl, they could reasonably say "Wow, I feel like I only know like 50%" of you. While with Mon-El, with the kind of insight Kara had into him at that point, finding out that he used to be the prince of Daxam is a lot more like "Wow, I feel like I only know 90%" of you.

That's why I think that upon realizing that, considering Kara's general attitude towards forgiveness and considering that she knew, felt and believed about Mon-El it was reasonable that she came to the conclusion that their relationship was worth preserving, at least for now/while she was still evaluating him and seeing how he would behave in the future, in regards to her, his parents and heroism. It was still a leap of faith of her to do that, but considering what we know of Kara's personality, I think it makes sense that she is the kind of person who would make this leap of faith.

So to recap, the top reasons why it made sense that Kara forgave Mon-El:

1.) Kara has shown over and over again that she's a very forgiving person whether people deserve it or not

2.) Kara herself has also lied to/deceived people she liked or cared about her identity (ie Cat, Lena). AND she has also previously been lied to by people she cares about about having a whole other identity (Alex). Because of this Kara imo clearly and staunchy believes that a lie about one's identity does not invalidate the connection you have with a person, it doesn't mean that it invalidates the interactions you have with them or that you don't really care abuot them, that the relationship you have with them isn't real.

Obviously Kara still considers herself a friend to the people she didn't let in on her secret and obviously Kara thought that her relationship with Alex was more meaningful than the fact that Alex had a secret second job.

3.) The encounter with Musicmeister above all stressed empathy, namely Kara relating to Mon-El and how he probably felt.

4.) In the end, Mon-El's lie was fundamentally about the past, it in retrospect didn't really have that much to do with what Mon-El was at this point and with what he was inside Karamel's relationship. It's pretty clear to me that at that point Mon-El had already emotionally seperated himself from his role as the prince and from his parents.

I believe that Kara sensed that and put trust and faith in that and she ended up being proven right about that (Kara: ”we found a connection.Through the kindness in our hearts”)”. If you look at the scene where she breaks up with him, imo she doesn't get hung up on the lie, but she does lose faith, she worries that longterm Mon-El won't have the moral fortitude to be a hero or a good boyfriend. ("You just want things to be easy, Mon-El. But being a hero and falling in love, those are not easy things. They're hard and they're messy. And they hurt sometimes.") This is what matters to her, whether he will have the strength of character to stick with being a hero. 

Mon-El refused to rejoin his parents, essentially cut them off, staying away from them even beyond what Kara expected or wanted (Kara clearly was supportive of Mon-El reconnecting with them as his parents), to the extent that was wiling to support Kara and stand by as Kara kills his mother and unleashesh a dangerous attack on the rest of his people, is willing to join the fight against them and even after being split from Kara shows no signs of returning to his life as a prince.

It's pretty clear to me that Mon-El basically cut off that part of his life,  that at that point it wasn't an active part of his life anymore and that in the future he did everything to minimize that part of himself (compared to Supergirl being a sizable, ongoing part of Kara's life that is important to her and that she intends to carry on in the future).

That doesn't mean that his lie wasn't a big deal or that Kara had no right to be mad about it, but I do think it lends some believable weight to why Kara was willing to take the plunge and accept him.

Again, this is a character aspect we have seen many times in Kara, that she is willing to encourage and embrace people to turn their life around, even if they have gone pretty damn far into their road to villainy (again, Livewire, Rhea).

One last thing I want to say, I have read people claim that they found it "out of character" that Mon-El became a good and attentive boyfriend after this experience. I personally always read this as a clear and natural progression. This event of Kara's forgiveness imo clearly left a big impression on Mon-El. He didn't just almost lose her, I think he also truly got that Kara not just forgiving him but being willing to re-embrace him and give him the benefit of the doubt was a big. fucking. deal and that probably the vast majority of people in her position wouldn't have done it. So it makes sense to me that he was on his best behavior and eager to show both his gratitude and she wasn't wrong to gift him that.

Conclusion: Kara is a kickass awesome person and character and the story of her forgiving Mon-El is more nuanced than people give it credit for

[ask-jumblr]

Proposed blog changes: move to Reddit

While I enjoy personally blogging on tumblr, it has many disadvantages for this blog’s format... For some time, I’d been thinking about moving this blog to another platform and I keep coming back to Reddit.

What does this mean?

I’m going to wait 7-10 days for people to comment on the idea of a Reddit move before doing absolutely anything.

If you have used Reddit as a regular user and/or as a community moderator: Do you think it would be a good fit? Do you have any tips?

If you don’t have a Reddit account or would want to make a separate one: Would you be willing to make a new account to engage with this community?

If we proceed, think on: What are some ground rules we might want to set for users? for moderators? What might be a good name? Would you be interested in being a moderator?

The ask box is staying open, and I will still be queueing asks. However, it may take me a while to catch up, I will not be reblogging asks, and I won’t be trying to keep a super consistent queue. The ask box will remain open unless and until there is a clear transition plan.

I intend to keep my personal tumblr. I like it here--I just don’t think here is the right home for this blog.

Why Move to Reddit?

1. Better community tools around banning

It’s hard for me to stop someone from using this blog to spam and harass others. (1) On Tumblr, my only tool is blocking. In Reddit, there are some more nuanced tools. (2) On Tumblr, it can be tricky to message people to discuss their behavior, and any resulting warnings or consequences. On Reddit, there are some built-in tools for making sure admins and moderators can reach out in these cases.

2. Better community tools for informing new users

On Tumblr, there isn’t a great way for me to introduce new users to how this blog works. On Tumblr, I can’t pin a post, I am limited to a fairly tiny description on the homepage, and people on mobile can’t always find the pages for rules, guidelines, explanations, archives. etc. On Reddit, there are better ways to inform new users of how the community works, including community descriptions and pinned posts.

3. Better mobile interface

I am yet to hear any concerns about Reddit mobile limiting features. If I’m wrong about this, please let me know.

4. Easier collaboration for moderators

Reddit is built for multiple moderators and approving posts/comments in ways that Tumblr just isn’t. There are whole systems for approving outside posts, for moderators to chat as a group, and for reminding people of rules.

I am not expanding the moderating team on Tumblr, but with a move to Reddit I would try to bring in some new moderators. This would have some added bonuses:

Content can come out faster!

More perspectives and fewer insulting goofs when handling Jewish people who aren’t me! I so often don’t know about different Jewish groups, perspectives, and overlapping identities. With a bigger team, more perspectives and identities could be represented.

No weird conflict from me of Should I answer a question on a post I’m also moderating?

5. Less Repeating Ourselves

We get a lot of repeat and semi-repeat questions, but archiving and search are pretty awful on here. I never know whether people have seen those similar asks and still want answers to their own question, or whether those asks were enough.

Often, on mobile, people can’t view the archive I’ve been building. I’m under the impression that a subreddit’s pages are still viewable on Reddit mobile.

Tumblr’s search is also terrible--I regularly can’t find a post on here that I know exists. I’ve played around some with Reddit's search and have found that it actually works.

6. Better Conversations on questions

When reading this blog, people rely a lot on the notes. In Reddit, the platform is the notes. While up/downvoting have some downsides, I believe that we can find ways to work those out.

7. Retain anonymity from ‘outside’ identity

I know that many users appreciate their account being separate from their life ‘outside’ this corner of the internet. For some users, this is an important safety concern. For better or worse, Reddit is known for being separate from ‘real life’ and its connected internet activity like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linked-In. While brings me to my next point...

8. More functional balance of anonymity and privacy

I very, very often, wished I could just message an anon to clarify. For understandable reasons, that just isn’t possible. However, taking the anon feature away would make it much, much harder for people with sensitive questions to send them in:

On Tumblr, people can’t send in an ask from a ‘sideblog’ created just for that purpose. If I turned off the anon feature, people would have two choices for relative anonymity from their main blog (A) message me with a sideblog using the tiny chat and hope I post it or (B) make a whole separate account with another email address.

In Reddit, option A (message a mod) is a little easier. The chat function simply works better.

And Reddit provides a much improved parallel to option B (new, separate account). Reddit allows one person to make multiple, independent accounts under the same email. In other words, you don’t need another email address to make an independent account to send in a question.

9. Not any worse?

While Reddit is notorious for being unchecked, Tumblr is also a cesspool of Nazis...

Some Final Notes:

There are already some corners of Reddit with features similar to this blog, but they aren’t an entirely question-based environment like this blog. This blog was in part made (spoiler alert?) to be a non-terrible version of “God Save Us From Your Opinion” on Facebook. Reddit would be a much better platform than Facebook or Tumblr for that purpose.

This blog was also created* to provide an outlet for the many asks that I and other Jewish blogs get on tumblr. Moving platforms would...not be ideal for diverting those asks...thoughts?

* mild clarification edit

[teacherintransition]

The Ugly American...who? Me?

My wife an I have become avid travelers and the closing of countries due to Covid-19 has hit us in the heart...

The time at home has given me chance to read about travel and given me pause to re-evaluate my behavior while abroad in the past and for the future...

The Ugly American, a novel written in the late 1950’s and which was a The New York Times Best Seller, was written by political scientist Eugene Burdick and writer and former U.S. Navy captain William Lederer. The book took a much needed look at the behavior of Americans traveling abroad; from the rugged backpacker hiking India to the field State Department personnel actually presenting the “official face” of our country in the international community. Prior to World War 1, most international travel by Americans was done by the wealthy elite among society. The “common” man through the tribulations of war, was given the opportunity to experience European culture and a yearning for seeing the world was fostered. If fact, there was a saying after WWI, “how you gonna keep Johnny on the farm after he’s seen Paree (Paris)?” The travel bug... wanderlust was born in the hearts of the middle class and gave rise to this phenomenon in film and in books written by Jack Kerouac, Cheryl Strayed, Ernest Hemingway up to contemporary writers like Anthony Bourdain, Andrew Sean Greer and Elizabeth Gilbert. Even Rick Steves who has become a knowledgeable source of traveling information with his travel guide series, has presented an informative open minded view of travel abroad.

All of these written treasures of traveling the world unveils to readers the magic that is to be found by stepping out your front door. The Ugly American presents a scathing look at how the “American” while overseas, displays an arrogant , intolerant, dismissive view of cultures far older and in many cases, more refined than ours. Burdick and Lederer’s book is set within the intrigues of international diplomacy and how that uniquely American view creates failure in the establishment of effective foreign policy. The authors listed and many more besides, instruct their readers to varying degrees to take more note of the intricate nuances a traveler should pay attention to and to show respect and admiration for the centuries of history and culture that exists all around us and that is not American. There is a common thread throughout all their works about what is missed when we stand outside and dismiss the uniqueness of every nation we might visit, instead of immersing oneself and appreciating it in a culture not our own. The “ugly American” has become a mythos of how Americans respond critically to anything that is not “MURICAN!”

Several other factors besides short sighted American foreign policy have contributed to the yoke placed on Americans traveling: cutthroat business practices while dealing with European, Asian and African countries; missionaries whose demonstrate a dismissive view of spiritual practices that have existed for millennia and, quite honestly, the behavior of tourists while abroad. Many experienced travelers draw a clear distinction between the tourist and the traveler. Kathryn Walsh differentiates the two in the following way:

Tourists

It's usually easy for locals to spot a tourist among them. A tourist may carry a camera, guidebook and map at all times and wear the same clothing he'd wear at home. Tourists tend to stay in their comfort zones a bit; they may speak only English instead of trying to learn phrases in the local language; stick to major cities instead of venturing to smaller towns or off-the-beaten-path locales; and stay in areas where the amenities are similar to what they have at home.

Travelers

Generally speaking, someone who considers himself a traveler will try to immerse himself in the local culture rather than standing out. If you're a traveler, you may try to explore the less-traveled areas and explore locations where tourism doesn't drive the economy. You'll interact with locals. Your goals for a trip will be to learn and experience new things, rather than to take a relaxing break from everyday life. A traveler may consider a trip a journey rather than a vacation.

The traveler presents a deferential, respectful and admiring view of the nations they are visiting and adopt the wise phrase from antiquity: “when in Rome do as the Romans.”

There is nothing wrong with being a tourist, often it is the less expensive approach to travel, unless you become the arrogant American tourist then perhaps you need to reassess. Travel is a big part of my retirement plans and goals, but you know what they say about the best laid plans. Two highly anticipated trips with two years involved in planning were rescheduled due to the Covid-19 pandemic, a disappointment we shared with thousands of tourists and travelers alike; and further postponements may continue to confront us. Perspective is needed in such a situation as being denied travel is far below other struggles this event has presented all of us. That being said, it has been a terrible disappointment down to my bones. We’ve missed much needed fellowship time with great friends, the excitement of seeing new places, the immersion in the culture and history of the locales, and, for me personally, our yearly travels have been my muse and inspiration for so much of my art. It’s akin to being very thirsty and having only a few drops to suffice. Introspection is the course of action when hopefully contemplating the possibility of the trips occurring.

To satiate the urge, we’ve read and watched travel programs in the interim and have evaluated our connection to the Ugly American concept? Are we ...them? In our past travels, have we appeared at all dismissive of the people and practices of the places we’ve visited? My wife and I have always been in awe of our travel destinations, so I feel fairly confident that we have not displayed the aforementioned arrogance of many American travelers. The thought that then arises is how much we have not allowed ourselves to be immersed in the culture; which, in the long run, is a detriment to us more than anyone. Our minds are open and willing to become part of the places we visit, but if we eliminate the brusque nature of so many Americans while overseas, what is the stumbling block that draws such distinctions when traveling? I fully concede that most Americans feel they have little to learn from many places on this planet, more is the pity, and there is much flawed thinking that goes into this mindset; but what fundamental differences exist between the cultures? I came across a very enlightening blog article written by Alain Veilell that was spot on in identifying the differences. Veilell simply observed that we run on different clocks. Not literal clocks but a “clock” obsessed with structure and deadline.... hello Americans! Veilell notes that Europeans start late and end late, while American and many Asian cultures start early and end early. Americans tend to view the un-regimented approach as being akin to laziness. I coached soccer and baseball for many years and many of my Latino players would not be as punctual as my other players. They were as talented and competitive, but their homes weren’t ruled by the seconds on a clock. Dinner started later, lasted longer, the dishes could wait... the priority was the quality of interaction with the people your with... ah, there it is ... sort of.

The average American meal last twenty minutes, while the average meal in Spain, for example, lasts two hours. They certainly don’t eat as much as Americans so why all the extra time? Why should time even be a factor so often? It’s the conversation and fellowship that is the priority not timing. While without question, the structured regimentation is a contributing factor to the American commitment to financial success, it also contributes to hypertension, stress, anxiety, depression and conflict that might be avoided with having an extra glass of wine and talking and not worrying if dinner is on schedule. Taking a little more time, enjoying the moment, letting serendipity reign may not be part and parcel of the Puritan work ethic; but it plays a helluva big part in realizing “La Dolce Vita.” This perception of time throws the rhythm off for many American tourists and makes us the ones to call the front desk complaining that the folks in room 210 are just too loud at 9:30 pm. The local population may just be getting ready to start dinner at that time. Remember, “when in Rome do as the Romans?”

While traveling, often American tourists view differences as a personal affront. “ I have to ask for ice?’ “What, no air conditioner?’ “They call the restroom the toilet?’ “Ugh how vulgar ... and a bidet? You must be kidding?” Truth to tell, Americans also suffer from mischaracterization from travelers from abroad as well. If I had a nickel for ever foreign exchange student who thought that all of Texas was a giant ranch with everyone riding horses and wearing cowboy hats. I think though that visitors to our country more often than not allow themselves to be pleasantly surprised than to have their feathers ruffled. It seems that we allow the “ours is better than yours” mentality to outweigh the magic of the unknown and the different. Every spiritual guiding ethos advocates living in the moment, treasure what is happening right now, greet the unknown with hope not hostility. The ugly American leaves no room for such an upbeat approach. Superiority mentality leave very little to treasure in this magnificent world other than what is yours and that limits learning, excitement, growth and just the pure joy that comes from trekking this world.

Is this assessment of mine a blanket judgement? No, not at all but there is some truth to it and there is something to be learned. As I self analyze, I found that I may harbor some of these traits and it’s good that I have time to stand back and look ...to learn. The worthy goal of being an affirming member of this global community is a purpose that I seek; and the rewards are far beyond just being intrinsic but rewards the cultures you visit with an admiration and respect they deserve. As these thoughts have been put down, it reignites the hopes that the planned journeys come to realization with the anticipation of more to follow. No more ugly Americans, British, Japanese or what have you, just eager travelers wanting to see and experience all that this world has to offer. Happy travels my friends.

Burdick, Eugene Lederer, William; The Ugly American ; Norton Publications; 1958

Veilel, Alain; “Why don’t Europeans Travel to Cancun?;” Quora; October 8, 2020

Walsh, Kathryn. "Differences Between a Tourist and a Traveller" traveltips.usatoday.com, https://traveltips.usatoday.com/differences-between-tourist-traveller-103756.html. 5 April 2021.

Photo from https://www.myheritage.com/

Photo from https://openlibrary.org/authors/OL13640A/Ernest_Hemingway