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splendidly-secret-sick-fics · 3 years

Note

That last fic was really sweet! Would you possibly be willing to do a continuation with BokuAka and KageHina perspectives? x

Why So Mean?

Pairing: sick Kageyama, caretaker Hinata

Word Count: 5,625

Warnings: vomiting, swearing, meanie kageyama :(

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Hello hello! Long time no see :)

ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY I WILL DO THIS. You and another asked for this and I’m SO HYPE ABOUT IT. So thank you!! I’ll answer the other ask with the Akaashi part :)

My timeline w the Kuroo chapter (& most likely the Akaashi one once it’s fully written) do not line up with this one at all. Please just ignore that and pretend it all makes sense. Thank you much appreciated.

If you prefer reading on ao3, check it out here!

Kuroo Part

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Kageyama was being a jerk today.

Well...a bigger jerk than normal anyway.

Things were fine up until about the middle of afternoon practice. In fact, Kageyama was almost unnervingly nice to Hinata until that afternoon.

When Hinata woke him up, he didn’t grumble or swear at him (he was almost pleasant!). He pecked the top of Hinata’s head in a cute sleepy haze on his way to the bathroom (PDA? Even with the risk of someone catching them?!). He even let Hinata pick off his plate at breakfast (without smacking his hand away or swearing!).

However, something must have set his boyfriend off. He was being cold, ignoring Hinata’s complaints and questions. He was almost completely silent while they were playing. It was freaking Hinata out.

During their practice matches, Kageyama was consistently flawless as usual, Hinata was really on his game, and the other spikers were in good form as well. His foul mood couldn’t be because they weren’t playing well.

It also couldn’t be because anyone picked a fight with him either. Kageyama got along with most of the players at these training camps. He even did serve practice with some players from Shinzen and Ubugawa last night when Hinata went to practice with Bokuto and Kuroo.

So when Hinata couldn’t figure it out himself, he marched up to Kageyama during a water break and demanded to know what was wrong.

“Hey! What’s up with you today?”

“Hah?” Kageyama asked sharply, glaring down at Hinata.

“You’ve been really quiet for the last two hours and you’re being a butthead right now!” Hinata snapped back. He wasn’t backing down when he knew he was right. He knew something was bothering Kageyama. He just had to find out what it was and then he could try and make things better for him.

Kageyama blinked at him for a few seconds before his face melted into a deeper-than-normal- scowl. It was more...confused than angry though. Hinata thought that he was about to relent and finally tell him what was wrong.

Instead he scoffed and walked away.

Hinata’s jaw dropped as he watched his boyfriend walk away. How dare he?

He clenched his fists and scoffed as well.

For the rest of their practice matches, Hinata and Kageyama avoided any non-volleyball related interactions. However, by the end of their last game, Kageyama looked so pitiful that Hinata couldn’t find it in himself to be angry anymore.

Instead, he sat beside Kageyama who plopped himself heavily onto the floor as soon as they finished their penalty lap. He was leaning against the wall, panting.

Hinata turned his head to observe him. He was sweaty and breathless as to be expected. Hinata was also trying to catch his breath and wipe away the sweat before it dripped in his eyes. What was unexpected was the pale tint to his skin, probably barely noticeable to other people. But Hinata, who spent an exorbitant amount of time studying Kageyama’s face, noticed.

His eyes scanned Kageyama’s face and saw the near imperceptible blush rising to his cheeks as well. Was it from the running? Or…

Hinata’s hand moved towards Kageyama’s forehead but before he could touch it, Kageyama’s hand slapped it away.

“Ow! What the heck? That hurt, Yama!” Hinata cradled his hand against his chest.

“What are you doing, dumbass?” Kageyama snapped. Hinata took a moment to be utterly flabbergasted at the malice laced in the reply. It felt unwarranted, given that Hinata was a) his boyfriend and b) just trying to help.

“I’m trying to figure out why you’re being such a freakin’ asshole today, Jerkyama,” he narrowed his eyes and glared up at Kageyama. The setter’s lip curled and he clicked his tongue.

“I don’t know why you’re so in my fucking face today, idiot,” Kageyama spit back so venomously that Hinata almost instinctively recoiled.

“Cause I know something is wrong and I don’t know why you’re hiding it from me!” Hinata yelled back. What the fuck was his problem?

Hinata could feel the eyes of his teammates on them now, probably wondering what was causing their dynamic duo to fight this time. Thankfully, they kept their distance. He knew they’d step in if they needed to, but he and Kageyama have gotten a lot better at resolving things themselves. (And that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are secretly dating. Nope.)

“I don’t have to tell you everything. You’re not my mom,” Kageyama shrugged sharply. “Just back off okay? Fuck. You’re so clingy. Let me breathe,” he exhaled and turned his head away again.

The words cut through Hinata’s chest painfully. He gaped at Kageyama for a moment before standing up quickly and glaring down at Kageyama.

“Fine. What the fuck ever, Shitty-yama. I don’t know what crawled up your ass today, but I’m sorry for caring. Come find me when you’ve got your shit together and you’re ready to be my boyfriend again,” Hinata seethed and walked away.

If Kageyama was going to be such a jerk, he would go practice with Kuroo and them again until Kageyama decided to not be a dick.

“Hinata,” Suga called out to him. Hinata inhaled and slowly turned to face his upperclassmen.

“Yeah?” He asked as calmly and normally as possible.

“Is everything alright? Looked like things got pretty intense. You guys haven’t fought like that in a while,” Suga asked and put a hand on Hinata’s shoulder. He squeezed, eyes wide and a concerned frown on his face and Hinata’s anger melted. They hadn’t officially come out as a couple to the team or anything yet, but it’s not like the team didn’t know how close the two were recently. Even if they believed it was only as friends.

“Yeah,” he huffed, “I don’t know. Something’s bothering him, but he won’t tell me. I almost thought for a second that he might be sick, but if he has enough energy to be such a huge buttwad, then that’s probably not what it is.” Suga nodded in understanding.

“Want me to keep an eye on him?”

Hinata peered over Suga’s shoulder to where Kageyama was still sitting. Yachi was sitting facing him on her knees, clearly trying to get him to talk to her. If he was responding, Hinata couldn’t tell. Kageyama’s knees held his knees to his chest, his head resting loosely on his arms. He was about to say yes, absolutely, please, until he remembered that they were just friends in the eyes of the team and he therefore had no reason to be as concerned as he was.

“Uh pft, what?” he tried to cover, “if you want--I mean--I don’t care--it’s not like we’re dating or anything. If he wants to be an idiot, that’s his problem.” Suga raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’ll have him practice setter switches with me then,” Suga said with a soft smile.

“Okay. If you want to… it might help him...,” Hinata replied, grateful that Suga wasn’t questioning his weird reaction. Suga ruffled his hair before prancing over to the rest of the team to coerce them into more practice.

Hinata inhaled slowly and exhaled away his frustration. Then he turned and skipped over to where Kenma and Kuroo were chatting quietly.

“Kuroo-san!” Hinata called and ran up to them, “are we practicing again today?? I want you to show me that cool wha-BAM block again!!” He jumped up and attempted to imitate Kuroo’s cool kill block.

“Shoyo, Kuro was actually just saying that he was—“ Kenma started. Hinata thought that Kenma almost looked worried about something? Kuroo cut him off before Hinata could figure it out.

“On my way to look for you Chib-chan!”

Hinata grinned at him. He loved practicing with such amazing players. He learned so much and it was a sure way to take his mind off his grumpy boyfriend for a few hours. Hopefully, by the time they met up for dinner, Kageyama would be in a less crappy mood.

“Let’s go grab something to eat and then we’ll round up the others,” Kuroo told him and Hinata nodded and ran off. Now that he knew Kuroo was coming, he should convince Tsukishima to join.

***

Extra practice was absolutely not going the way Hinata thought it would. In fact, it only reminded him about how completely useless he was trying to help Kageyama earlier that day. He was still completely useless. Tsukishima already yelled at him and Lev to be quiet.

“You’ve got a fever,” Akaashi said and Hinata’s anxiety spiked. Maybe Kageyama was sick after all. He might’ve caught whatever Kuroo had. And Hinata was such an asshole to him. He would have to apologize after they took care of the current situation.

Hinata watched helplessly as his upperclassmen slowly broke down, trying without success to think of some way to help. Akaashi and Bokuto seemed to have it covered, but Hinata was tired of feeling useless.

When Lev mentioned Kenma, Hinata was more than happy to retrieve the setter. He knew exactly where he should be too.

“Kenma!” Hinata yelled breathlessly as he entered the Nekoma sleeping quarters. He scanned the room for the familiar brown-blonde hair, ignoring the curious eyes of the other Nekoma members in the room. Kenma was nowhere to be found. He locked eyes with Inuoka who blinked at him in shock.

“Hinata? Is everything okay?” He stood up and crossed the room.

“Uh,” Hinata quieted down a little, he wasn’t stupid enough to blurt out the situation. That might only cause panic. “Kuroo-san is sick and I came to get Kenma.” Inuoka’s eyes widened.

“It hit Kuroo-san? Already? Damn,” Inuoka sighed, putting a hand on his forehead.

“What are you talking about?” Hinata asked.

“A few players from Shinzen and Ubugawa got a stomach bug. They just told Nobuyuki-san. He went to go talk with the rest of the captains and vice-captains about what to do. He took Yaku-san and they figured they’d just tell Kuroo when he got back. I guess he knows…” Inuoka explained and Hinata’s stomach dropped to his feet. Kageyama practiced with a bunch of Shinzen and Ubugawa players last night, so he most definitely was sick. Shit.

He wanted to run to find his boyfriend, but he had a job to do right now. He trusted his team to take care of things until he could find Kenma.

“Where’s Kenma?” Hinata pressed.

“He’s in the shower,” Inuoka said and Hinata cursed.

“Okay. Thanks, Inuoka!” he called as he sprinted towards the bathrooms.

Kenma was very unhappy with Hinata when he burst into the bathroom shouting his name and throwing the curtain open. After he explained the situation with Kuroo though, Kenma sighed and said he’d be right out. Hinata waited impatiently outside the bathroom for Kenma to finish. When Kenma emerged from the bathroom with his hair tied back and dripping and his Snorlax slippers adorning his feet, Hinata quickly led him to Gym Three.

“Kuroo- san! I found Kenma!” Hinata yelled as soon as they got there. Kenma immediately went over and took Akaashi’s place beside Kuroo.

Hinata watched for a little while, but when Kuroo started gagging more he remembered that his own boyfriend might be in a similar situation.

“Uh, I’m gonna—I’m gonna go,” he stuttered and ran out of the gym to find Kageyama.

He had no idea where his boyfriend might be at this point. Was he even sick? Was he angry at Hinata? If he was sick, would he still be in the gym anyway? It wouldn’t be surprising at all if he blatantly lied about being sick in order to keep practicing.

“Hinata!” Kiyoko ran up to him, “there you are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you. I ran to Gym Three earlier, but as soon as I saw the situation and that you weren’t there, I just left. Please come with me,” she said quickly and turned back the direction she came from.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. Kiyoko looking for him so urgently couldn’t be anything good. She shook her head.

“Kageyama almost passed out while he and Sugawara were practicing, but he refuses to leave the gym.” Hinata’s chest squeezed. He was right. Kageyama was sick.

“What a freaking idiot,” he said, picking up his pace a little.

When he got to the gym, Kageyama was standing on the court, swaying on his feet. Yachi was hesitantly tossing balls up for him to set. Before each one, she tried to say something about how Kageyama should sit down, but Kageyama cut her off with a glare. Asahi, Yamaguchi, and Kinnoshita were all practicing half-heartedly, keeping an eye on their stubborn setter. Noya was the only one who looked angry. Hinata imagined that he tried to get Kageyama to leave and was quickly shut down.

“Where are Daichi and Suga?” Hinata asked Kiyoko. She shrugged.

“They were called away for some captain’s meeting.” Hinata nodded.

“Shinzen and Ubugawa players have a stomach bug. It’s probably about that.” Kiyoko’s eyes widened and she shot an anxious look in Kageyama’s direction. Hinata grimaced and steeled himself.

“Hey! Bakayama!” Hinata shouted and the ball Yachi tossed fell to the ground untouched. Kageyama turned to him and Hinata gasped.

He was paler than earlier, almost ashen, and positively dripping in sweat. Hinata’s feet carried him over to his idiotic boyfriend and he immediately cupped his flushed cheeks. His fever was immediately evident. Kageyama registered the movement a little too slowly (incredibly concerning) and grabbed Hinata's wrists and weakly tried to pull his hands off his face.

“Stop. You have a fever. You need to go to bed.” Hinata said, not leaving any room for an argument.

Of course, that didn’t stop Kageyama.

“I’m fine,” he said. The crack and complete lack of bite in his voice made the statement incredibly unconvincing. Hinata pursed his lips and dropped his hands.

“Fine. Let’s do some passing drills then,” he shrugged and walked over to Yachi to get a ball.

“Hinata, I don’t know if that’s the bes--” Yachi started.

“Get a bucket and some water ready.” Hinata cut her off with a whisper. Her mouth immediately dropped into a frown, her eyes wide, but she nodded and ran to the store room.

“Fine. You suck anyway,” Kageyama muttered. He moved into position.

They started passing and things were going smoothly for the first few minutes. As time passed, however, it was more than clear that Kageyama was unwell. There was an obvious sway to his stance, and he was panting even though they’d only been at it for a few minutes. Hinata was uncomfortable with putting his boyfriend through all this, but if the idiot wasn’t going to admit he was sick, there wasn’t anything else he could do.

Without realizing it, Hinata let out his frustration on the ball and spiked it down. Kageyama jumped to try and reach it when it bounced back up, but just barely touched it. When his feet slammed back onto the floor, his legs gave out and he fell to his hands and knees. Yachi and the remaining Karasuno players gasped and tried to run to his side, but Hinata beat them to it.

“Kageyama!” Hinata ran over to him. He swiped back his sweaty hair and cringed at the heat he felt.

“That was a shit move, boke,” Kageyama wheezed.

“I didn’t mean to spike it, really, I was just so frustrated because you’re being so unnecessarily stubborn about this. You’re clearly sick, idiot.” Hinata replied. He couldn’t keep the concern out of his voice. Kageyama seemed way worse off than Kuroo.

Kageyama thought about his words for a second before he looked at the floor and nodded. Hinata sighed in relief.

“Can I take you to bed?” Kageyama met his eyes. Hinata frowned. Kageyama’s eyes were fever-bright and glassy (Hinata secretly thought it made the blue of his eyes even more beautiful, but he kept that to himself. For now, at least).

“Please,” Kageyama croaked. His bottom lip trembled and if there weren’t other people around, he would’ve kissed Kageyama’s sweaty forehead.

Instead, he stood up, extending a hand down to Kageyama. The setter took his hand and Hinata helped him stand slowly and carefully. As soon as he was upright, Hinata pulled one of Kageyama’s arms around his shoulder and wrapped his own around his boyfriend’s waist. Kageyama leaned a little too heavily on Hinata.

Hinata bit his lip. If Kageyama did catch the same bug, he needed to get him somewhere away from people sooner rather than later. It was unlikely that Kageyama would be okay spewing his guts up in front of everyone.

“Here, I’ll help,” Yamaguchi said and Hinata shook his head before he could make his way over to them.

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to catch this,” Hinata said and sent Yamaguchi a grateful smile. Yamaguchi nodded and took the bucket and water from Yachi.

“I’ll follow you. I want to find Tsukki anyway.”

They made it about 3 feet out of the gym before Kageyama pushed himself away from Hinata and careened off to the side. He put a hand on the wall and doubled over with a painful sounding wretch.

“Crap,” Hinata muttered and grabbed the bucket from Yamaguchi. He walked over to Kageyama and put it down in front of him and put a hand on his hunched back. A second later, he heaved again unsuccessfully.

“Can I do anything?” Yamaguchi asked. Hinata glanced at Kageyama’s scrunched up face and watched his throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. He turned back to Yamaguchi and shook his head, sending him another thankful smile.

“It’s okay. I got this,” Hinata said. Yamaguchi hesitated, but nodded and placed the water bottle on the ground before turning and walking away.

“Relax, Yama,” Hinata soothed.

“Go’way,” Kageyama replied. Hinata for the umpteenth time that day, took a second to compute his boyfriend’s response.

“As if, stupid. It’s fine. It’s not like you haven’t seen me puke.”

“That’s not,” he hiccuped, “that’s not it.” Kageyama said.

Hinata stared at him for a second and tried not to be hurt by thoughts that hadn’t yet been voiced.

“...you’d rather be alone?” he asked softly. Kageyama looked up at him, his eyes big and his mouth in a tight line, but an apologetic look on his face. He nodded. Hinata tucked his lips into his mouth and took his hand off his back.

“I’ll just be over there then,” he chuckled pathetically. If Kageyama didn’t want him around, it didn’t mean that he didn’t love him or trust him, Hinata tried to remind himself. It was just a preference. This was a new situation for them as a couple and Hinata had to remember that he was still learning things about his boyfriend.

“Hina—“ Kageyama tried, but was cut off by another gag. It was wet and gurgling.

“It’s okay, Yama! I know it’s not cause you don’t love me. It’s fine. Come get me when you’re ready,” Hinata assured and walked around the corner of the gym.

He sat down against the wall and took a breath. It was stupid for him to feel so hurt. The only reason he was this upset was because they fought earlier and never really made up.

Around the corner, Kageyama gagged harshly and Hinata winced. He resisted the urge to run around the corner and help.

For the next several minutes, Hinata sat by helplessly, uselessly, and listened to Kageyama wretch and gag and hiccup and gasp unproductively.

Finally, a harsh cough brought with it the sounds of vomit hitting plastic and Hinata felt some relief on behalf of his sickly boyfriend.

From there, it was almost like someone turned on the faucet. Hinata winced everytime Kageyama heaved. He was about to run to Kageyama, whether the setter wanted that or not.

“Sh-Shoyo,” he heard Kageyama whimper and with that Hinata’s resolve to sit by patiently broke and he got up and sprinted the short distance back to his boyfriend.

Kageyama was squatting with the bucket between his legs and his head in his hands, panting.

“Yama,” Hinata said at the same time that his heart broke. He knelt by Kageyama.

“Hey, I’m here. What do you need? Want me to rub your back? Want some water? I can tie back your hair or —“

“Sho, please,” Kageyama breathed. He looked at Hinata with the biggest, saddest, wettest eyes and the cutest, smallest, most adorably pitiful frown.

“Please jus’ shuddup ‘n hold m’hand,” he said and held out a hand. Hinata gladly took it and squeezed. Kageyama’s shoulders relaxed briefly before jumping back up by his ears when he heaved.

Hinata sat by quietly while Kageyama continued to throw up seemingly everything he’s ever eaten. He wanted to do more, but didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and make Kageyama uncomfortable. Just being able to offer even the most minute bit of comfort to Kageyama made him less anxious. He hoped Kageyama felt the same way.

Kageyama spit in the bucket and breathed heavily.

“Water?” He choked. Hinata nodded eagerly and handed him the water Yachi brought him. Kageyama used it to rinse his mouth out first and then fell onto his butt and took a few more sips, opting to sit cross-legged against the gym wall.

Hinata fiddled with his fingers, trying to figure out what to do with them now that he wasn’t holding Kageyama’s hand anymore. He decided to move the bucket away and await further instruction.

Kageyama looked...bad. And it made Hinata’s whole body twitch. He’d never seen Kageyama like this, weak and sweaty and vulnerable. On the one hand, he was glad that Kageyama trusted him. On the other, it hurt his chest to see the guy he loved in such a state.

A quiet sob broke him out of his thoughts and his head shot up to look at Kageyama.

“Yama?”

Kageyama shook his head and brought his arms up to cover his face. Hinata crawled over to him and waited for him to calm down.

“I’m sorry, Hinata,” he whimpered behind his arms. Hinata’s face softened.

“It’s alright.”

“No,” Kageyama said quickly, dropping his arms and meeting Hinata’s eyes. He was flushed, pale and sweaty, his hair matted and sticking up in all directions. Hinata smiled at him sympathetically.

“It’s not alright, Hinata. I-I was such an ass-asshole,” he wheezed between sobs. Hinata bit his lip.

“And you were on-only trying to h-help, and I was so mean!” He cried, his chest heaving. “You should break up with me.” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows and widened his eyes. How did he fall for such a freaking drama Queen?

He threw his head back and sighed, “Kageyama.”

“Don’t forgive me, Hinata! You’re not clingy! I’m sorry,” the setter continued to cry. His raspy breaths and choked sobs were quickly devolving. Hinata could see where this was going. He felt bad because Kageyama was probably way too out of it to realize that he was working himself up.

“Yama, please listen to me for a second you big idiot,” Hinata tried again. Kageyama continued to sob, hiccups sprinkling themselves in now.

Hinata needed to calm him down. Could he touch him now? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to make Kageyama more uncomfortable.

Kageyama made up Hinata’s mind for him when he lurched forward with a dry heave. He planted a hand on the ground in front of him but his whole arm was trembling. Hinata wrapped his arm around Kageyama’s heaving chest quickly to keep him upright.

“Tobio, calm down. Breathe,” Hinata soothed. Even he was surprised, but very proud, at how calmly he was handling everything. He’d brag to Kageyama about it when he was feeling better.

Kageyama shook his head quickly, eyes squeezed shut and dry heaved again.

“There’s nothing left, Yama,” Hinata tried to reason. He used his free hand to rub gently between Kageyama’s shoulder blades.

Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s arm around his chest and squeezed. His body continued to betray him and after a few more heave, he choked on a small stream of bile onto his legs.

Hinata cursed and pulled Kageyama up to a standing position. It only served to aggravate his stomach more and he belched up a larger wave. At least this time he didn’t get it on himself.

He kept an arm firmly across Kageyama’s chest and the setter leaned heavily into Hinata. It was concerning to say the least. His throat gurgled before more bile spilled from his mouth.

“Kageyama, hey. Breathe,” Hinata said more urgently.

“Hinata!” Suga called and Hinata’s head snapped towards his upperclassmen. Suga was jogging towards them with a few medical masks in hand.

“Shit, it hit him hard, huh?” He winced.

“Yeah,” Hinata replied with a grimace. Kageyama gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut and spit before moaning pitifully.

Hinata, getting past his own disgust, used the end of his own gosh dang shirt and wiped off Kageyama’s mouth. His boyfriend’s lip trembled when he made eye contact with him and Hinata’s mouth quirked up in sympathy.

“You’re okay,” he said. Kageyama turned and wrapped his arms around Hinata’s head and collapsed onto him in a heavy hug. On instinct, Hinata’s arms snaked around Kageyama’s waist.

Hinata managed to bring his face out of Kageyama’s chest and found Suga again. The older setter had an eyebrow raised and subtle smirk on his lips.

“Seems you guys made up,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Yeah,” Hinata blushed, “is there somewhere he can rest?” Suga chuckled.

“Yeah. Come on. They’ve set up a room for the fallen,” he joked. “Do you need help?”

“Uh,” he glanced at the giant buried in his neck and smiled softly.

“Nah. I got it. Just lead the way.” He said and maneuvered Kageyama onto his back.

“Try to keep your insides inside for a bit, okay, Bakageyama?” Hinata teased. Kageyama just groaned and nuzzled further into Hinata’s neck.

Suga covered his own face with a medical mask before handing one to Hinata. Then he led them to a classroom set up for the sickies. While they were walking, Kageyama whispered repeated and delirious apologies to Hinata.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Hinata insisted after a bit, “I was a jerk too. I’m sorry. I just wanted to help. It was stupid of me to think I could fix everything if you just told me what was wrong.”

“I should’ve just told you,” Kageyama replied quietly.

“Yeah probably,” Hinata shrugged as best he could, “but this is new for us. We’ll figure it out.”

“Still. I was so mean,” Kageyama mumbled into Hinata’s neck.

“I’m not mad,” Hinata reassured. He looked ahead at Suga who was very obviously trying not to listen.

“You should be.”

“You’re sick, Yama. It’s no surprise that you’re grumpier than usual. I’m just grateful you’re letting me help you now.”

“I don’t want anyone else to help me,” Kageyama admitted. Hinata’s chest warmed.

“It’s you and me, then.” He smiled. Kageyama nodded.

When they finally made it to the Designated Sick Room, Suga left the room to tell Daichi what was going on while Hinata took Kageyama to a corner futon away from the majority of the others.

“Alright, I’ll come check on you in a bit, okay?” He said once he was satisfied that Kageyama was sufficiently comfortable. Kageyama nodded and turned onto his side and shivered. Hinata frowned. He didn’t want to leave his boyfriend, but he didn’t want to stay in that nasty, germ-filled room longer than necessary.

He turned to leave, resisting the urge to give Kageyama a quick kiss. Right before he stepped out of the room, Suga stopped him with a hand in his face.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, one hand still up to stop Hinata and the other on his cocked hip.

Hinata raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m going back to practice?”

“As if,” Suga scoffed before noticing Hinata’s confusion at the response.

“Hinata,” he sighed and turned away, “listen,” he met Hinata’s eyes, “we were trying to wait for you guys to be comfortable enough to tell us yourselves, but we all know you and Kageyama are dating.”

Hinata blinked up at him. Suga’s hidden meaning was not immediately apparent to him, but eventually he realized what his upperclassman was implying and he felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“What— no— I mean we don’t— I don’t—“

“Cut the crap, Hinata,” Suga chuckled, a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow telling the middle blocker that there was no getting out of this one. He immediately deflated and dropped his head and shoulders with an exasperated sigh.

“How’d you guys find out?”

“For real?? It’s not like you guys were subtle at all!” Suga laughed fully this time. “You’ve been fighting less and you stare at each other all the time. Also, take it from me, the storage closets are not as private as you may think.”

Hinata flushed in embarrassment again. No way could he meet Suga’s eyes right now.

“Now. Get back in there. If Kageyama is sick, there’s no way you’re not at least carrying his germs.” Suga pushed Hinata gently back into the Sick Room, despite his many sputtering attempts at protesting.

Kageyama’s bleary eyes peeked up at Hinata in confusion when he unceremoniously plopped down beside his sick boyfriends. He huffed sharply and crossed his arms, pouting.

“What are you doing? You shouldn’t be in here. You’ll get sick,” he mumbled groggily. Hinata let out an exasperated sigh.

“Apparently,” he drawled out, “we aren’t as good at hiding as we thought so there’s ‘no way’ I’m not carrying your germs. Suga’s making me stay here.”

“Wha—“ Kageyama’s eyebrows squished together cutely while his foggy brain tried to interpret what Hinata said. As soon as he did, his already flushed cheeks deepened in color before he quickly buried his face in his pillow.

“Stupid, Shoyo,” came the muffled insult, “you’re too obnoxious.”

“Me?” Hinata gasped, a hand flying to his chest and his eyes widening. “You’re the one that insists we make out in the storage closet!” Kageyama turned his head and frowned up at Hinata.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, “I just really like you. Please don’t yell at me. I don’t feel good.” Hinata’s heart constricted from the sheer adorableness behind Kageyama’s wide glassy eyes and tiny little pout.

“Gah,” he squeezed his eyes shut and grasped at his chest. “You’re so freaking cute, Yamayama. I’m sorry! You’re right! It’s my fault.” To show his remorse, Hinata flopped onto his boyfriend and snuggled into him.

“Ah! Shoyo, stop! We’re in public, dumbass,” Kageyama cried through giggles. Hinata laughed and peered up at Kageyama with a smile. He pecked his flushed cheek and sat up.

“Guess since everyone knows, you’re really stuck with me, Yama,” he sing-songed. Kageyama smiled up at him softly.

“Good. Now let me sleep.” He rolled over and Hinata settled himself against the wall beside his head.

“Sure. I’ll be here in case you need to puke again. Let me know if you feel bad and I can get you some medicine or some water. Or hey! If you feel up to munching on something, I can run to the vending machines and—“

“Shoyo?”

“Hmmm?”

“Please just shut up and hold my hand.” Kageyama snaked one hand out from under his blanket and Hinata took it in his own as a smile tugged at his cheeks.

#haikyuu sickfic #haikyuu!!#hq!!#kagehina #sick kageyama #caretaker hinata #kegayama tobio #hinata shoyo #my fics

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pocket-luv101 · 4 years

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Summary: Kuro is a powerful wizard and he has received countless marriage proposals. He doesn’t wish to marry so he decides to create an impossible challenge to make his suitors give up. He sets up a maze where the person who reaches the center will win his hand. One day, Mahiru enters his maze. (KuroMahi, Fantasy AU)

“There goes another one. Shouldn’t you reject these marriage proposals directly instead of making them go through an impossible test? As your royal advisor, I need to warn you this behaviour will create resentment from important families.” Gear said to Kuro. He didn’t respond to him but they had been friends long enough to know his answer. “You call politics troublesome but it is important. You completed your training to become a wizard so your father will require you to marry soon. This maze will make that more difficult to find a mate.”

“That’s the point. My father has been disappointed in me for twenty years so he shouldn’t be surprised. I already told him that I have no wish to marry anyone so he should focus on his other seven children.” Kuro sat on a tree branch that overlooked a sprawling maze of rose hedges. He was a powerful wizard and many people approached him to negotiate a potential marriage. “They only want my magic to enhance their family’s rank.”

Kuro wanted a simple and quiet life with people who cared for him as a person before what he had. Most only saw him as a powerful wizard or the son of a Count so he doubted he could fall in love. He found it tiring to constantly reject shallow marriage proposals so he created a maze around his home. He declared that the first person to make their way through the maze and reach the center would marry him.

The maze would constantly shift and change so it was almost impossible for someone to reach the center. He also enchanted the roses to stop people as they walked through the maze. Most of his suitors gave up after they learned of his challenge and the few who entered the maze would quit after a few minutes. “The sun is setting so I don’t believe anyone else will enter the maze. Let’s go hang out with Hyde.”

Next to Kuro, a rose swayed in the wind and the soft petals created the sound of a bell. He knew that it meant that someone had entered the maze and he groaned softly. Since the roses were connected to his magic, he couldn’t leave the maze or else it would disappear. He started to question if the maze was more troublesome than the suitors.

Kuro lowered himself to sit on the branch again and looked towards the maze’s entrance. He couldn’t see the person well with the distance between them. “He’s entering alone. Most people know that my maze is dangerous and they would have an army with them. Did he enter my maze without knowing that I made it as a challenge? Can’t deal. I should go to him and escort him out before he’s hurt.”

“He looks like a simple commoner so it’s likely that he can’t afford to hire help. You’re a Count so he might have entered to marry your wealth.” Gear said beside him. He didn’t want to see his friend be taken advantage of. Most would be jealous of Kuro’s power and title but Gear only felt pity for his friend. He saw how it made Kuro lonely. Kuro only had a handful of people he trusted.

Their attention was drawn back to the man in the maze. He folded his hands in front of him and he began to sing. At first, Kuro thought that the man intended to use a spell to find the center of the maze. He doubted a simple mage would be able to manipulate his maze though. Rain started to fall over the maze and Kuro could sense a warm magic within the water.

The man’s song changed and sunlight replaced the rain. As the lingering rain reflected the light, it created a spectrum of colours. The different colours mixed with the moonlight and washed over the red roses. Kuro didn’t understand why the man casted the two spells since it wouldn’t help him reach the center of the maze. He realized that wasn’t the man’s attention after he turned around to leave the maze.

The man only stopped in the entrance to pick a few roses before he disappeared out the gate.

“Your touch slipped away to become a memory. Do you remember my kiss as I miss yours?” Mahiru sang as he walked down the road. He could see the maze in the distance and he thought of how beautiful the roses were. The moon didn’t provide a lot of light to see yet it was enough for Mahiru. He would visit the maze every week and walk through the garden to clear his mind.

With the final note of his song, Mahiru stopped in front of the maze’s entrance. He heard stories of the wizard who created the challenge and most called him haughty or cold. Mahiru couldn’t believe the rumours though. He cupped his hand around a rose and its subtle scent calmed him. The magic he sensed within the rose was warm and welcoming. His mother had taught him that person’s magic reflected the type of person that they were.

Mahiru walked through the grand gate in front of the maze and he wandered through the roses without a destination in mind. He would usually stay near the entrance so he could find his way out easily. He looked towards the large that sat in the center. Sometimes, he would consider exploring the maze to find the center but he knew that it was impossible. He was a mage and he recognized the spells within the rose from simply picking one.

He folded his hands in front of him and sang, “I hope my memory will always be with you.”

“If you’re going to make it rain again, you should put on shoes or else your feet will become muddy.” The voice surprised Mahiru and he turned around sharply. He knew everyone in his small town but he didn’t recognize the man before him. His red eyes were unique. He was handsome and Mahiru wondered if he was a prince who wanted to marry the wizard.

“Are you here for the wizard’s hand in marriage? The maze is dangerous at night so it would be better if you come back in the morning.” Mahiru warned. Something the man said caught his attention and it caused his brows to furrow slightly. “How did you know that my song would summon rain? It’s not a common spell.”

Kuro didn’t know how the man would react if he told him that he was the wizard who created the maze. He had seen him enter the maze a few times yet he would only water the roses. He became curious and he finally decided to speak with him. Most people would treat him differently after they knew about his title and family so he lied. “My name is Kuro and I’m a gardener for this maze. Sleepy Ash hired me to help maintain the rose bushes.”

“I’m Mahiru.” He introduced himself and then held out his hand to shake Kuro’s. Mahiru blushed when he took his hand and kissed his fingertips. He thought that only noblemen would do something so formal. He took his hand back and said, “I hope the rain I created with my song didn’t cause you any trouble with your job. You probably got soaked the first time I made it rain.”

“As long as Sleepy Ash resides within the maze, the roses will stay alive. You didn’t need to go to the trouble of watering such a large maze.” Kuro became more intrigued by Mahiru and the reason he entered the maze. “Do you like roses?”

“I think roses are beautiful but I prefer simple flowers like daisies. I heard this maze was made by a strong wizard so I did assume that a wizard like Sleepy Ash would use magic to keep the roses alive. Flowers should be watered properly though.” Mahiru told him. “Honestly, the first time I entered the maze, it was on a whim. I had a long day and I needed a place I could be alone.”

He took a pair of shoes out of his bag and slipped them onto his feet. Mahiru doubted Kuro would want to hear about the problems of a stranger. He changed the subject and said, “My shoes got wet after I casted the rain spell the first time. I thought I could dry them with a song of sunlight but that didn’t work. Since then, I would bring an extra pair of shoes with me.”

“The maze is dangerous so you shouldn’t walk around here without shoes. The roses have thorns and you can be hurt by them.” He pointed to the vines that lightly lined the ground. Kuro was confused when the vines moved on their own to avoid Mahiru’s feet. He hadn’t controlled the maze with his magic and he wondered if Mahiru was the one who moved it.

“I’ve never been pricked before.” Mahiru didn’t seem to notice how the rose bushes moved around him so Kuro doubted he was using his magic to manipulate it. He looked up at him and tilted his head in confusion. “From what I hear, the maze would chase people out but it hasn’t attacked you or me. Maybe the maze likes us since we’ve spent so much time here.”

“That must be a strange thing to say since a maze isn’t alive and it doesn’t have thoughts like we do.” He had created the maze and enchanted it but he didn’t give it life. Mahiru shook his head and held out his hand towards the tall hedge next to them. A rose fell from the bush and landed in Mahiru’s palm.

“My uncle taught me that magic is a mysterious force that flows through all life. That’s why we need to be kind to things around us. You’ll never know who or what will put a curse on you.” Mahiru joked and laughed softly. His smile was full of warmth and Kuro found himself reflecting his expression. “I became an animal doctor because of that. May I ask why you chose to be a gardener?”

“Gardening isn’t a passion for me or anything like that. It’s a job that pays well.” Kuro shrugged. He couldn’t tell him that he was truly the heir to a powerful family and a large estate. Mahiru didn’t seem to question his evasive answer and they started to walk aimlessly through the winding halls. “You’re an animal doctor? It must be hard for you to find work. The witch doctor of Eve is rather famous.”

“I get by. You work here so you must know this rose maze well.” Mahiru’s comment made Kuro stiffen slightly. He assumed that he would ask him to take him to the center because he wanted to marry Sleepy Ash. Then, he said: “I visit the maze often but I haven’t explored it well. Most people want to find the center but this maze is so large that you must know secret places that are beautiful.”

“Other people would be more interested in reaching the center of the maze to win Sleepy Ash’s hand in marriage.” Kuro decided to voice the question he had since he first saw Mahiru enter the maze.

“Do you think I'll offend Sleepy Ash if I say that I hope he doesn’t find a fiancé through this maze? The rose bushes are stunning and I enjoy walking through the maze. Once someone reaches the middle, this maze will disappear. That would make me sad.” Mahiru’s confession shocked Kuro. Everyone who entered his maze only cared for his title. Yet, Mahiru appreciated the roses.

A loud clash above their heads caused them to look up at the sky. Dark clouds started to cover the moon and Mahiru smelled rain in the air. He rushed to take his umbrella out of his bag but the rain fell before he could. Mahiru opened the umbrella and moved closer to Kuro so they could share the umbrella. “My umbrella is only large enough for one person but it’s better than nothing.”

Kuro noticed how Mahiru held the umbrella over him more than himself. The simple act of kindness was foreign to him but he knew that Mahiru was an honest person. The rain soaked his shoulder and Kuro didn’t want him to become sick. He placed his hand over Mahiru’s on the umbrella and whispered a spell. “Votre gentillesse m’a changé.”

His magic wrapped around their joined hands before it travelled up the umbrella. The umbrella grew until it could protect both of them from the rain. With the larger umbrella, they didn’t need to stand close to avoid the rain. Neither of them moved away from the other though. “Did Sleepy Ash teach you magic so you could care for the maze?”

Mahiru was surprised that a gardener would know magic and he stared at Kuro. The magic he felt was oddly familiar as well. Kuro couldn’t tell him everything but Mahiru’s curious eyes compelled him to answer. “My father sent me to school for magic but I was a terrible student and they kicked me out before I could finish. Did you go to school for magic too?”

“My uncle taught me a few things but I mostly learned on my own. Since my father left before I was born and my mother was always working, my uncle would give me magic books. Magic was a fun distraction but…” His smile became bittersweet and the expression tugged on Kuro’s heart. He could see a quiet strength in Mahiru and he wondered about his past.

Rose petals fell among the rain and Mahiru held out his hand to catch one. He brought the petal closer to his nose so he could smell the flower. The dew on the petal made the scent of roses more powerful. “This maze is amazing, isn’t it? I’ll make a warm breeze to dry us before we can get sick. You remind me of that summer night long ago.”

He had heard him sing countless times yet his voice held Kuro spellbound once more. A warm wind circled them and it dried their clothes and Kuro couldn’t help but notice that it resembled Mahiru’s personality. The maze reacted to Mahiru’s song in a similar way it affected Kuro. A path opened before them and it led to an open garden with a gazebo.

“Oh, look, Kuro!” Mahiru patted his arm and then pointed to the gazebo where they would be safe from the rain. He hooked his arm around his and dragged him forward. The wooden gazebo had roses circling the pillars and framed the canopy. Even in the darkness of night and the falling rain, Mahiru thought the gazebo was stunning.

They stepped into the gazebo and Mahiru lowered the umbrella. “I hope this rain stops soon. This gazebo is gorgeous but we can’t sleep here. We’ll catch a cold or something. Worse, my cat will destroy the house if he doesn’t have food. Do you have anyone waiting for you at home?”

“I live alone.” Kuro told him and he saw relief pass over Mahiru’s face. A blush replaced the expression and he felt his face redden as well. He didn’t know how to react to the thought that Mahiru could be interested in him. “Will your cat be jealous that you’re spending so much time with me?”

“Maybe a little. I’ll give him a rose and he’ll forgive me for staying the night with someone else.” Mahiru giggled softly.

He sat on the bench and looked beyond the rain to the rose bushes in the distance. In the corner of his eyes, he watched Kuro pick a rose. He burned off the thorns before he held it out to Mahiru. He took the rose and their fingers brushed together. “That’s for your cat so he’ll forgive you.”

“Thank you, Kuro.” Mahiru brought the flower to his nose to hide his shy smile. He was certain that his cheeks matched the colour of the rose. Between the pleasant scent of roses and Kuro’s warm presence, he felt comfortable. He forgot the rain around them and they were in a world with only them. Kuro sat next to him on the bench. “Will picking flowers get you fired?”

“Sleepy Ash doesn’t mind.” Kuro reassured him. “I’ve seen you pick a rose from the gate each time you visit. You can take more if you want.”

“My mother loves roses… She loved roses.” His voice broke slightly. Mahiru didn’t want to cry in front of Kuro so he kept his gaze to the ground. “I picked a rose to put onto her memorial. Last month, we held her funeral but I still can’t believe she’s actually gone. This must sound childish, doesn’t it? One of my co-workers said I needed to be strong when he saw he cry. I’m an adult but I’m still clinging to her.”

“I don’t think it’s childish. She must’ve been important to you so it’s natural that you would be sad. Your co-worker was a jerk.” Kuro took out a napkin from his pocket and wiped his cheek. He didn’t know if the water was rain or tears but he gently wiped it away. Mahiru turned to face him and their eyes met. Looking into his brown eyes, he felt a mix of sympathy and protectiveness of him.

“It has been hard since my mother died but visiting this rose garden has helped me feel better. It’s quiet here and I can gather my thoughts.” Mahiru found it easy to talk to Kuro and he unconsciously leaned into his palm. The rain was cold but that wasn’t the reason Mahiru moved closer to his warmth. “Thank you for listening to me even though we’ve only met today.”

“I don’t mind.” He patted his head before he sat back. Kuro thought of something he could do to make him smile again. He waved his hand over the rose Mahiru held and the flower multiplied until he had a bouquet. A few of the roses had become daisies.

“These are beautiful.” Mahiru took a daisy from the bouquet and placed it behind his ear. The rain had stopped but they stayed in the gazebo. The water droplets that coated the flowers reflected the moonlight and they created the illusion of diamonds. “It looks like it’s time to return home but I would love to talk to you again. When you’re not working, do you want to meet in the town and get to know each other better? There’s a ramen shop we can go to.”

“How did you know that I love ramen? Are you a stalker?” Kuro joked and smiled. “You should know my full name though. It’s Sleepy Ash Kuro Servamp, the Count of Sloth.”

“Sleepy Ash?” He repeated his name as his eyes widened. Kuro knew he would be surprised but he hoped he wouldn’t treat him differently now. He hesitantly turned to face him. Mahiru slipped a rose from the bouquet and tucked it into Kuro’s jacket pocket. “My name is Mahiru Shirota, the witch doctor of Eve. We’re more similar than I thought. We both hid our titles to not be judged.”

Kuro was hopeful that he found someone who would see him for himself and he touched the rose over his heart.

#servamp #kuromahi #sloth pair #servamp kuro #mahiru shirota #fanfiction

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mythykl · 4 years

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UNSPOKEN,, *todoroki x (f) reader

Genre : fanfic, smut *aged up* (shoto is imagined to be 21yo or something,, and reader as 19yo)

rating : explicit, NSFW, 17+

Warning : fingering, oral?? todo is pretty horny overall. starts w a pretty intense bg story, so you gotta read through all that to get to the good stuff. cool.

words?? idk, it’s pretty lengthy tho.

our todoboi is a pretty lovin’ bf in here.

————————-

“I’m really sorry for yesterday, Y/N. I-I did’n-”

You clench your fists as you sit on the couch beside him, and interrupt, “Whatever it is- save it, I don’t blame you to begin with. I-I’m just mad. I’d spent almost a week for that chapter, to give justice and bring perfection in what I wanted to put across to the readers. Well- its not even about the time; I had thought through it so much, and atlas thought of typing it out yesterday- I mean- whatever crap that I had even written, I was proud of that- until,, your ignorant ass decided to show up in the room and fuckin’ switched off the computer assuming it’s already logged off, o-or whatever. You could’ve at-at least- fuck-” yup ya ass is livin’ in the worst nightmare of a writer, stay steady

You of course cried, and even threw a tantrum for an hour or so once you realized what had happened. But primarily, you were just mad- mad at yourself for not saving that damn file, and even at him cuz ofc.

Todoroki certainly didn’t take it well, since he is sad at present, and can’t even look in your eyes. He apologized multiple times since last night and had even prepared a breakfast for you before leaving for work; on the other hand, you haven’t even answered to his appeals yet with clarity.

Out of the blue you just cup his cheeks, making him instantly look up- at you, and then get up with an audible sigh, “Go get ready, I’ll prepare our dinner by then.” That gesture somehow took him aback.

He gets up instantly and blurts out in confusion, “I d-didn’t expect you to prepare a dinner for me, and on top of it- wait for me so we can have it together. You should’ve ate already, it’s almost midnight.”

You turn back to him, walking towards him to hold his hands, "I honestly don’t know what to reply. My heart- just thought it is the right thing to do that; one mistake isn’t enough to just hate you all of a sudden, Shoto. Moreover we are talking about this, it’s not like you’re being arrogant or things are left unsaid- and you’re genuinely sorry. I can see that in your eyes. I’m just- I don’t know. I’m depressed a bit- yes, but it can’t be helped now. I need some time to think, maybe.”

Little did you know that your kind words pricked him like thousands of tiny needles against his skin. He loves you, and however seemingly ‘small’ mistake this might be, he hates himself for hurting you- the person he loves so dearly. He thinks of his mother, his complicated family life- which had made him seemingly unemotional. You were one of the people to break through that forged cold wall. He had finally accepted you as his reality than his mere escapism and live with you, but here he is- bringing tears and fueling anger in you, like a good for nothing- just like his father.

After a slight pause, he just busts his arms open and pull you close to him, in his warm embrace, “What did I possibly do to deserve such an angel?” He almost whispers in his beautiful voice.

An angel?

“So talented, pretty, wonderful, real and warm. Remember. I love you. No matter what. I always will. And I respect you- your passion, interests, talent, likes and dislikes, freedom, strengths-weakness, your work, happiness- everything. Throw all the tantrums you want and cry all you want- more than just agreeing and being there for you- I’ll always make sure I understand you first. I’m sorry for being so ignorant lately.”

It may seem as if he’s crying, but he’s not. He said all that with a tough stance and gratefulness in his tone, a faint disbelief of having you as his significant other. While you just stood there, in surprise. You aren’t oblivious to his past and his journey through it. Is he blaming himself? or Is he again thinking that he doesn’t deserve happiness?- you’re at the loss of words and a mind fumbling all over the place. You simply subside the chaos, and hug him back.

“We’re definitely working, Todoroki. Understanding each other more than just being in love- something that many fail to do. Isn’t this great?” You at last blurt out.

“Yes. I guess,” he says as he detaches himself from you, “I’ll be right back- until then, read what I’ll send you as you have dinner. Gonna sound stupid of me- but I already had dinner at office. I assumed that you’d not prepare a meal for me and- would be asleep by now as well.”

“Wow icyhot, I’m mad at you even more now,” you say playfully as you walk towards the kitchen.

“I-”

“Save it. You would be saying that for the millionth time now,” you chuckle as you grab your phone, lying on the dinner table.

Before serving your food, you decide to see the text, only to find an attachment with a rather strange message- ‘Hey, here’s an headcanon for chapter 37, that I wrote. Enjoy.’

Wait-

Headcanon??

Wait did he- read your wattpad book? And moreover, came up with a theory to what might happen in the ne- next chapter.

Nice. jk. Ofc you lost your shit

For the sake of getting back to senses, you legit do the deep breathing shit- which your therapist always recommended you to do.

Now what?

You serve yourself some noodles instantly, since you don’t feel hungry anymore, rush to the dining table and start chomping on the cold noodles as you open the attachment.

What made you almost throw up was that the mention of word counts. Which is 3k by the way, though no where near how much you usually write.

Shoto is definitely not the kinda guy to have read any wattpad books, or more specifically even have come across the word 'headcanon’.

He probably noticed how you mention it as well at the end, but decided to put it in the beginning,, for god knows what reason?? Or, he did decide to go through the fanons- which your readers’ posts on tumblr. This eases your nervousness, you clearly urge for more.

You swipe down, reading furiously fast, yet scanning every word and sentence- atleast twice. The chapter, honestly, was mediocre. He had ideas but couldn’t put them across- with excessive repetition of words, but he is almost close to-

“Honey, are you done?” Todoroki’s voice almost scares you. You look at your bowl ready to grab another bite- but you had already finished the meal.

“Earth to Y/N. Don’t tell me my words were that mesmerizing,” he says with a smile as he rubs his hair with a towel.

“Let’s be honest, though you don’t have the talent of a writer, your idea was- kinda similar to mine. What I’m sayin is that you almost. GOT. IT. RIGHT. Well, kuro did spy on KAORI’S house that unfaithful night, and he didn’t have any sources as such, which does mean that he is hiding his real quirk- but, no- I’m not telling you more than that.”

“Since you already know that I read all your chapters, and did like the book- I certainly can’t wait to understand why KURO would possibly do that.”

You just smirk off his curiosity; “You gotta wait boy,” you say as you as you walk back to kitchen counter with your bowl. Todoroki marches behind you to grab the cleaning cloth to clean the table, as you do the dishes.

“Put that towel in the washing machine, please.”

“Yup,” you almost feel an ounce of happiness in his reply. After he closes the machine’s door, you at last ask, "So what are your thoughts?“ It has never been one of you expectations for the people to you read your books or even, praise you for writing, but a review wouldn’t hurt, would it?

"Uhh- well, I love how everything is now just coming together, as one can foreshadow that the book’s gonna end. The use of words was elegant, and the plot is bewitching. Has been a while since I even read anything in thriller, that too- this good. Fuck. Reading kaori’s point of view just the day before the murder was- unbelievable. And characters, they all are just great.”

That is indeed a Todoroki kinda explanation.

“Wow you did read all of tha-” but before you could complete your statement, shoto just grabbed your hips and stood tall behind you, now speaking in an extremely low tone, “And not to mention- the first sex between Kaori and Braun, it literally was like the depiction of ours. Except, they were awkward and slow, we weren’t.”

You pause. what took over him all of a sudden?

He continues, “That gave me a whole another perspective to what sex really means, and moreover what intimacy mean to you. It was.. surreal. Reading it, was as if- I’m living through that afternoon again, but with more emotions, and a bit more of you.”

“It’s not like I’ve explored much to actually wri-”

“Oh, is that so?”

“I’m not complaining, of course, but these are the moments I believe must be left to cherish and our intimate times just feel more- sacred to me like this??” Sigh, “Ugh. Now, how do I explain?” Well, that is true, even though Todo and you’ve dated for almost two years now, it was just four months ago that you lost your virginity with him, on your nineteenth birthday.

He had already lost his with the previous girl he was with. Though he never implied, it felt as if you were obliged to do it for him, due to your own insecurities. Once he got to know that, his reaction was nothing as what you had thought. He said that he loved you, and such things are nothing related to love; that sex is overrated, and continued on saying dorky yet adorable stuff like- cuddling was much better and what not. Since then, you had sex with him just thrice. None of you were really against this unspoken agreement, to not have-

Wait, an unspoken agreement?

Unspoken.

You instantly feel like an hypocrite, since you had just claimed to have nothing unspoken between you both.

Sudden a sharp pain in the skin of your neck brings you back to reality. Shoto is sucking on your skin, kissing ever so lightly. As if marking you.

An audible morn escape your parted lips as the bowl just falls on the kitchen sink. Todoroki leans forward and simply closes the tap and whispers, “So you do like to be 'submissive’, don’t you? Had this discovery while reading one of your books, 'Starless nights’.”

The exact book for which you had to watch vintage porn to make the chapters with intercourses more sensual and intresting.

Again, taking you by surprise, he simply turns you around as you continue stare at the ground with your hands wet, in front of you like dog’s pow.

“So I assume you liked my headcanon.”

“Yup; was much better than the crap I write, let’s go to-” but you’re interrupted-

“Now baby, we both know you’re the better writer, and that you just lied.”

“That was sarcas-” but he just pulls you closer and spanks you hard. You hiss as the pain spreads all over your butt cheeks.

“Never interfere, Y/N.” Wait wut-

Your immediate reaction was biting your lips- is he saying the words from the book? Not exactly inacting them but attempting to set a similar atmosphere, which you lowkey craved for in your wildest dreams.

“Since I’ve anyways taken this unspoken, unofficial oath of keeping you happy and stuff, now why not help you with some satisfaction- with all those juices flowing down your-”

You suddenly push him back and blurt while blushing hard, “Stop with this teasing and aw- awkward co- conversations todoroki! Fuckin’ juices, seriously? I’m not co- comfortable with-”

But then, you notice his right hand in your shorts. Or more like the sheer coldness against you clit, almost like there’s ice against it. When did his hand go in there? You end up clenching his T-shirt, as you jolt up on your toes.

“You. Clearly. Want. This. Don’t. You.” Suddenly, he pulls his hand out as he grabs your ass tight as he pulls you even further. Then, he brings his hand up to the height of you face and simply starts stares at the dampness on his fingers, “Wetter than I suspected."

Now behold the unbelievable.

He keeps staring at his fingers, opens his mouth as he places his fingers into them and suck it as you watch this piece of art in awe.

"Can’t believe that I had you like- just thrice before this. You do live up to what I usually call you, honey.” He continues, “I hope you’ve noticed my creativity as well, as i used my coldness to.. nudge it.”

“You’re being quite quirky today, aren’t you?” This statement just makes him go still, and the next second he’s found laughing. His deep voice, almost reverberating in the silent room. He steps back, brings one hand to his face as he looks down and continues to laugh. The mere sight of him in this way gives you so much warmth, this is the moment you realize that this is the true home. With him.

When he finally looks up, the mere sight of you blushing so hard makes him lose his composure again, but this time it’s a nervous laugh.

Approaching closer, you set your hands on his torso and continue, “That was quite execrable pun to chortle at, we were doing excellent just now-” but in reply, he simply cups his hand around your cheeks and say, “Shit y/n. You’re going to be the death to me,” and continues grinning like an airhead.

Why is he being annoying now? After so much sexual tension, how can he stop? In midst of you cursing yourself in your head, he leans at your height and kisses you.

Finally being out of patience, you look at the ground and stutter, “Ca-can we do i-it al-alrea-”

“Quite frankly, I’d like if you stay quiet, you shall take what I’ll give you, right?”

You look up immediately into his beautiful heterochromic eyes and say without any further doubts with a smirk, “Go ahead, Shoto, who am I to deny?”

“Sedective. umm, I like that.” he smirks too.

“Know that I love you,” and that’s it. Within one second, his hands are in your hair and his face is buried in your neck, digging deeper into you, as if uprooting releasing your soul from your body.

Skin glistening on your collar bone now and colours warming up on your cheeks, you whimper under his dominance, as he squeezes your waist and lightly nips against your shoulder. You shiver, with pretty evident goosebumps, in spite of the heat you both bear at this point.

Your breath gets hitched in your throat as he moves inwards below your collarbones. while his hands rest on your waist. You involuntarily climb a bit on him, intending to close the gap, but more to feel his manhood against you. Your hands firmly on his shoulders, almost pushing him back- maybe because it’s too much pleasure to feel at once.

At another rise of your hips, Todoroki places his hand on your waist and pushes you back down, “Easy, easy princess,” he mummers before getting back to fiercely kissing me. You run your fingers through his hair, as you body slowly commences to accept an indeed new experience bombarded at you.

Suddenly, you remember something. In heist, you shove him back and say, “Wait! We need to wash our hands- I- I mean we have just did chores. Well, at least partially and I need to wash myself- I mean I’m clean,” but then you stop to look at him just to find him in utter shock.

“Shoto! I mean I want this but hygiene is impor- fuck. I’m. Such. A. Boner. Killer. Ain’t I?”

“Point made.” Todoroki picks you up in bridal style and rushes towards the bathroom. for some reason i thought of adding this,, lmao

“Wait what-?”

“No time to waste.”

This makes you giggle a bit. You wash yourself while he as well washes his hands, and you practically pull him out of the bathroom, grab him by his collar and kiss him deeply as his hands slowly move up and down, feeling your torso- flesh untouched due to s mere knit.

His hand unapologetically moves to the hem of your sweater, and further inside; but within one move of his, you stood there shivering, exposed.

Immediately, you move forward in order to close the distance between you and shoto out of nervousness. His eyes drop down to your heaving chest and you’re painfully aware of that.

“Don’t. Don’t hide,” he mutters, grabbing a hold of your hands and locking them behind with one of his own for you to stay still; as he slides his other in your shorts. You feel his gentle hand running down the slit.

“Honey you’re dripping wet, what have i done to this innocence?” It seems that he expected a reply, but you didn’t. You just couldn’t. He then pulls the other hand to you face, diving in for yet another passionate kiss- accompanied by a battle of tongues this time. You are going breathless, but he refuses to move away.

The creasing in your folds level up to three fingers now,. He isn’t generous anymore, with aggressive circles in there, he finally commands, “Say my name.”

“Sho-shoto.” Your moans only fuel in his lust and desires, his want, an indeed selfish want to have you all for himself, to offer the utmost satisfaction.

He pushes a finger into you as you instinctively let out a small breath hold his busy arm with both of your hands. This makes him push you against the wall with his free hand.

“M-my legs, it’s going numb,” on hearing this, he removes his own shirt and slightly repositions himself, with one hand now on the waist and the other back in there. He kisses your forehead as you look down, unable to keep up with his pace.

That’s when the coldness returns.

“I- ah- can we ge-get to the bed first?” Your stuttered words only results in a widened smile from him. He is enjoying the sight, clearly in love with the effect he has on you. His head shakes, further sliding another finger inside you, “You can do it baby. You’re taking it all in without questioning.”

You nod quickly, as you start climb up a bit again. In return, he slowly curls his fingers- more and more with each passing second making you almost cry out this time, “Please n-no, this is too intense for me.”

“Yet my princess didn’t make Braun stop after that, I read in somewhere that Kaori secretly wished for him to not stop even if she said so. Just go on.”

You didn’t know how to come back at it, because it is true. You want your Shoto to push those limits you’ve set for himself, and you’d as well be fine if he simply throws off you cliff at this point.

“Now now, spread your legs y/n.”

Did he say something? You couldn’t listen. With eyes rolled back, you can’t comprehend anything to begin with.

“SPREAD YOU LEGS or else I won’t play nicely.” You’re eyes shoot up, and find his already searching for yours; before leaning in and gently kissing you. Your legs not being shut anymore, todo takes the opportunity, making his finger get stuffed deeper. His two digits start moving faster and harder, pounding against your walls- all while he feels you squirm to slow down.

“You can take it hun’,” he definitely knows what he’s doing, and you’re totally in for it. “Y-yes,” you moan softly. This is when he slides in a third finger, now really making you scream.

You attempt to gasp and struggle to stand, but then he says,”Stay,” as you unknowingly slide down the wall. Your nails dig in the skin of his back as you try to stable your stance on your tip toes yet eventually, your legs give out on you.

Suddenly, you feel him hit a spot which just pulls something inside your stomach. Todoroki on the other hand, notices your unusual hitched breath and starts hitting the SAME. EXACT. SPOT.

His free hand goes to the back and around your waist, holding you evermore tightly so that you won’t hurt yourself.

“I feel- like that- again-,” you manage to blurt.

“Like what?”

“Like pe-peeing, b-but different. Just like th-the last time we-”

He simply smirks, “We what?” He sighs and growls in your ear, “Is princess gonna squirt for me?”

Your body shudders against him as you moan his name, again and again, “Shoto, I-I-”

“That’s it. Squirt for me y/n,” with that he removes his hand entirely for one second, only to push two digits inside again, now thirsting harder and curling tighter; with his thumb against you slit. His hand grows even more colder, almost stinging down there, making you restless.

“Now.”

He watches you open your mouth and moan loudly, as his hand only gets wetter, feeling you squirt against his hand. You shake hard in his hold. He doesn’t let you go. A tear escapes you eyes, but simply doesn’t seem to care,”Shoto, for some reason I-I feel s-so great wi-with yo-,” but you are interrupted as he shoves you further against the wall , sliding down your shorts and undergarment, again with three fingers in.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises you while curling those fingers inside and then removing them together. He further continues, “seems like you’re ready,“ as he rubs the wetness inside the slit, giving special attention to your clit.

Saying that, he kneels down, now facing lower abdomen and plants a kiss over there. You simply look down at him, still struggling to balance, searching for even a slightest hint to know what is there to come.

Maybe he’ll stand up an carry you to the bed? or How about making him feel better this time?

But then, his face smashes his face on your dampness; almost attempting to bury in it as he holds you up and pushes. your legs apart. You clearly know where this is going, todoroki will be showing no mercy whatsoever.

"That wasn’t even the start honey,” he confesses in midst of you moans and begs for him to go slow. It doesn’t hurt anymore as much as it gives an unbearable form of pleasure.

You moan and whimper, yet he continues to suck in your clit. You can feel a finger inside, or maybe two, as they go in and out. Practically shattering you all at once while fusing you once for all.

Your hand travel its way to his hair. Ruffled enough to make the red and the white parts almost indistinguishable.

Oh dear.

Though your eyes are close, hands are fumbling around for support and legs are strictly held in place by Shoto, yet you can feel his tongue moving. As if in patterns, not that you could figure out. It either went in for an eight or just licked off entirely as one does while eating an icecream. You moan his name again and again, the same sensation building up block by block as he paves deeper and denser.

“I can’t take this anymor-”

“What makes you think that’s gonna stop me from eating this pussy.”

Little do you know that shoto can’t hold back anymore, it’s not just that he is in control but he has lost control. At the sight of your dark flushed red cheeks, delicacy and vulnerability, he only gets faster and tougher on you. His other fingers reach around and grips your ass, with his fingers slightly grazing across your unused hole.

That’s it, that was enough for you to go stagnant again, in your mind atleast. Your legs start shaking, with your mouth parted yet again. Shoto quickly stands up, with fingers still inside, to help you stay stood up. You feel yourself about to pass out, but in actuality are fully awake and aware. He kisses you, now moaning with you as well, as he fingers you until you cum.

His teeth take in your lower lip as your eyes flicker up at his unmatched ones.

Shoto, with one hand against the wall, halts for a minute. He stands tall in front of you, while holding you as you struggle to stand.

In midst of huffed breaths, you manage to say, “I- I, I mean- can I make you feel good as well?” On listening thise words, he goes still, “Baby, you can barely stand.”

“Still-” but again, before you could say anything, he picks you up in bridal style and dropping you on the bed; letting you lay back while he removed his left over garments.

This is when his erect manhood is finally exposed, refilling your memories of your first time when you had simply wondered how would you take all of that in. You did, though it was painful. But this time you refuse to be scared by the length, you know this is going to feel the best and you’re willing to take him in, deep inside you.

Shoto sighs and walks to the bed, “No-”

“Shoto?”

“Tonight is about you. Let ME explore you.”

“I wa-wanna hug you,” you blurt out.

He giggles, “sure, all that my y/n wants shall come true.”

But when you attempt to get up, your legs just fail to response. Even the slightest movement feels like a bolt of electricity run through you. At the sight of you falling back on the bed, Shoto simply smirks and says, “By the looks of it, I think I did a pretty good job at pushing your limits.”

“Don’t- I can’t even walk.”

“Wait,” he climbs on the bed beside you, sitting with back against the headboard while you lie against him, still breathless, still attempting to move.

“Don’t move princess,” saying this, he carefully pulls you up, with your head on his thigh. He helps you sit up slowly, while embracing your body against him, and finally hugs you, like a child clenching onto his teddy favourite bear.

“You are so beautiful,” he says as he gets up, while eyes glued on you. He moves to the end of the bed and pulls you towards him as he climbs in again. His two digits reenter your dampness, almost making you hiss at first but it’s soon replaced with moans.

Your back arcs as you mumble, “Sho-shoto, I’m very sensitive ri-right n-now. ah-”

While on his part, he receives it as a signal to level up to the next stage. He slowly penetrates in, soon pacing up. Warmth filled in your hearts and sweat glinting the lustre. He repostions you both a couple of times, giving you different forms of pleasures with each go.

You as well witness his fire quirk leaking out at times. He kisses you deeply and claims you as his own as he repeats the words, “I’ll never let you go.”

Now it’s past 3am, as your exhausted bodies lay next to each other; that’s when he whispers, “I love you.” Maybe he thinks you are already asleep, but you are not. He clearly can’t leave anything unspoken.

i hope this has left you baffled

362 notes · View notes

deltas-writing-corner · 3 years

Text

Warmth: Prologue (2/3)

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Disclaimers: Besides the prologues, I will be posting the first 1000 or so words of every new/next chapter. There will be a link to my AO3 at the end of the post, where the full chapters are at!

Warnings: mentions of blood

Masterlist: (coming soon)

"Here, let me help with-"

"It's alright!" Fuku shouts as she lifted several rolls of fabric with ease.

To say Fuku was doing a little better is an understatement. She was fantastically better. When Yuki and you came into work the morning after her accident, she didn't greet you both in her usual polite and quiet manner. Fuku had loudly welcomed you both in as if the shop were suddenly a bustling restaurant.

You were mending a ripped seam in the back room when Yuki suddenly enters and whispers, "Please tell me I haven't gone crazy, or is Fuku much more lively than yesterday?"

You resist the urge to smile. She got her spunk back indeed.

"I quite like this sudden shift in her character," you say.

"I do too, really! I haven't seen her like this since I was a kid. But the sudden switch from sweet to sassy is…" her mind trails off with uncertainty. She looks over her shoulder to make sure you two were alone still. "Do you think her accident yesterday had anything to do with her personality change?"

"They say your life flashes before your eyes in an instant when you come close to death. Maybe she decided to drop the quiet act and be true to herself."

"Yeah, that's it isn't it?" Yuki asks more to herself than to you. "But should she really be carrying all those fabric rolls? Those things are heavier than they look."

"Perhaps her back is doing better?"

"In a day?!"

She was getting more confused, more frustrated as she tried to wrap her head around everything. You put your needle and thread down and turn towards her. "Do you remember what I said yesterday?" you ask. Her tense shoulders relax a bit and she nods. "Then trust me on this. She's going to be fine. Would I ever lie to you if I didn't think she would?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know why, but you saying she's going to be okay somehow reassures me that it will be."

You give her a pat on the head, but she pulls you into a tight hug. You would hug her back if she wasn't squeezing your arms against your body. It was strange. Her hugging you like this almost makes you feel as if you two had truly become…

You don't finish that statement, for fear that your rival would hear it and use it against you. You nearly forgot that you could never truly make friends, not when you're still in the midst of a never-ending battle with a damn snake that targets the people around you. One of these days, you're going to get rid of it for good by any means necessary. Even if that means you would have to die with it, so be it. Anything to make sure it doesn't come out victorious.

You won't take away the people I love again.

_______________________________________________________________

The last time you took a vacation was...never. You've never been on vacation. Your 50-year lone journey could technically count, considering you don't work and essentially goof around most of those years. It wasn't to relax from the stresses of work though. It was merely to pass the time before you could integrate back into society without causing a fuss. It would also help you forget about the people you had gotten to know.

You look over to your co-worker and boss. "Can't I just relax at home? Do I really need to go all the way out to…"

"Kyoto," Yuki finishes your thought.

"Right. Do I really need to go out to Kyoto to relax?"

Fuku shakes her head in disbelief. "Honestly, all you ever do is work! You'll go stir crazy if you don't switch up your surroundings every now and then."

"Besides," Yuki chimes in. "If anyone deserves a vacation, it's you. I don't think you understand how much you work. It's admirable, but also very concerning."

Seeing their worried expression, you feel a bit bashful. They were only looking out for you, thinking you to be tied down to the same limitations they have. You badly want to just bite the bullet and tell them the true nature of who you are. Surely they would understand, right? They would accept you for who you truly are, right? The coiling of the snake around your arm keeps your confession at bay.

Apparently, a vacation for you meant a vacation for it as well. Tormenting you must be such a demanding job after all.

You made sure to sharpen your axe real well the other night.

The chugging of the train grew louder and louder. You and a few other people, mostly fellow travelers from outside your town, walk up to the yellow line on the ground and stand to wait. The train begins to slow down into a complete stop. Once halted, a hiss of steam is let out and the doors creak open.

You turn to give your farewells to your friends and surprisingly find yourself in the middle of a group hug. You give Fuku and Yuki their own pat on the back and they squeeze you a bit harder.

"Have fun! Don't forget to call me and take a bunch of pictures!" Yuki demands.

"And bring a man home," Fuku adds.

You laugh at her comment. She really was a feisty one.

Adjusting the bag hanging from your shoulder, you step onto the train cart and take a seat. After a few minutes, the doors close and you begin to depart from the station. As you look back out the window behind you, you see Fuku and Yuki still standing there, waving you off even as you gradually disappear over the horizon. You swear, they both looked ready to burst into tears.

A tightness against your arm grabs your attention. After wriggling about from under your sleeve, the snake finally pokes its head out and turns its head towards you.

"So," you whisper, as to not attract any attention from your fellow passengers. "It took you awhile to come back. Did I cut you up that badly?"

It hisses at you for mocking it. Uncaring of it feelings, you uncoil it from your arm and drop it in the seat next to you. Should any of the passengers have watched you, they would see you moving nothing. You were actually grateful they couldn't see it. If they did, they would all certainly panic. You did not want to be known as the traveler who carries a deadly snake with them.

You cross one leg over the other and sink in your seat. "Y'know, I should give you a name. It's starting to become annoying just referring to you as 'the snake'."

It seemed surprised that you were speaking to it on neutral terms. Usually, your interactions were hostile and more or less ended with you chopping it into fine bits. It slithers back onto you, this time coiling around your neck. You nearly flinch at the familiar sensation you felt as it tightened its grip to gain stability.

I felt this in my first memory. Go figure.

You pull out your phone and quickly search up an image of a color wheel. You take care to lift the screen up to the snake's eye level while not appearing odd from any lingering gazes. You tell it to tap on a color, and from the one it selects, you would refer to it as that henceforth. It was unimpressed by your naming process but you tell it that it was either this or you give it the most insulting name you can think of.

It looks at the screen for a minute. It then presses the tip of its mouth against the glass and selects the color black.

"How original," you sarcastically say. It responds by tightening around your neck. "Alright. I'll call you Kuro from now on. It'll make cutting you up all the more personal."

Your one-sided chat ends with Kuro, who turns his head away and settles around your neck. You pull up your phone's built-in navigation app and look at the expected arrival time, 3 hours. You lean forward and prop both elbows on your knees. For the next few hours, you just sat there and waited, not bothering to look out the window and marvel in the passing scenery. Your focus was entirely on Kuro, making sure that he wouldn't try to sneak off of you and attack any of the other passengers. He usually only goes for people you had grown attached to or spend most of your time with, but you weren't going to take any chances.

You give yourself a bit of comfort by sticking your hand in your duffel bag and squeezing the familiar handle of your axe.

________________________________________________________________

The city still amazes you. It was hard to believe that in just a couple hundred years, humanity would evolve so rapidly. As amazing as the advancement of humanity was, the air quality has gone to complete shit. Along with sleeping and eating, you didn't need to breathe either. You're thankful you didn't have to subject yourself to the polluted air and spare yourself from burning your lungs. Kuro seems to hate the air as well, as he makes a sort of gagging noise once you step out of the station.

Finally, we agree on something

You robotically push past the crowds, flag down a taxi, and check into your hotel room. You send a quick text to Yuki to let her know you arrived safely and thank her again for booking the room for you. Once you set your belongings down and relax against the plush bed, you get a text back.

'What r u going to do?'

That's right. This was supposed to be a vacation. You were supposed to be going out and doing literally anything other than work.

What the hell are you even supposed to do?

You text back, 'idk.'

'Seriously??? There's a ton of stuff you could do in Kyoto!'

'Like what?'

'I heard shrines are lovely this time of the year'

________________________________________________________________

The fact that you, a god, are visiting a shrine to be very, very hilarious. Kuro hates it apparently, which made it even funnier.

"Aww, don't be like that," you jokingly cooed at him.

You used the ladle from the shrine pavilion to scoop up the so-called purified water and bring it close to him. He hisses so violently that the shrine maiden that acted as a guide for you and your fellow visitors flinched and looks around to find the source of her scare. Deciding to spare him any more stress and reason to go on a frenzy, you put the ladle back in the basin and catch up to the departing group.

The tour was simple, a mere walk around the temple and it's public areas while the guide explained the history behind each building, important figures, and various rituals the worshipers practice. It wasn't the most exciting way to spend your first day on vacation, but you found still found it interesting and very educational.

Near the end of the tour, the guide leads you all up to a statue of a woman. Her skin is as white as milk, half of her black hair twisted up in a bun while the rest flowed down her back. It was a hairstyle your mother would style on you and even taught you how to do it yourself. Her kimono was a faded gold color from years of natural degradation. The pattern on her stone clothing reminded you of flames.

Your tour guide stops and turns back towards you all. "This here is a statue of the sun goddess, Amaterasu. She is a central deity within the Shinto religion. The Japanese nobility claim their divine right to rule by claiming to be her descendants."

Your tour guide went on about the shrine's methods of worship for Amaterasu, but you completely drowned out her words. You found yourself completely enamored by the statue.

Something about it was...

Hearing that name was…

Your body was...

"Miss?" One of the tour-goers waves her hands in front of your vision in an attempt to gain your attention. "Is everything alright?"

As you slowly regain your focus, you notice a wetness on your face. You had shed a tear. You quickly wiped it away and gave the concerned woman a reassuring smile. "Allergies."

She seemed relieved and without a second thought reached into her bag to pull out a bottle. She pops off the cap, shakes out two antihistamine pills and hands them to you. You take them and hide them under your tongue before taking a gulp of water from your plastic bottle. You thank her, waiting for her to walk off with the group before spitting them out.

Kuro gives a condescending flick of his tongue against the cheek your tear descended on. You slap his head away and growl, "Not a word."

You take a moment to gather yourself before heading back with the group. Before you turn the corner and lose sight of the statue, you spare it one last glance. When you looked at it again, you were certain what you were feeling wasn't just a fluke.

You felt warm.

________________________________________________________________

The tour ended not long after you all saw the statue of the sun goddess. You didn't leave until night, when the Shrine closed to the public. You spent the entire day just staring at the statue, basking in the familiar warmth that filled within your body.

"I know you don't care, but that wasn't some coincidence," you say to Kuro. "That warm feeling. It's similar, no, the exact same warmth I summon when I heal people!"

You yank him off your neck and plop him on the nearest surface, a stone tablet of sorts with writing carved into it. It was monument for some historical figure, but you didn't care about it. He looks at you as if he was actually considering your words for once. At this point, you could care less about this ingrained rivalry between you two. If there was anyone else in the world that could ever relate to you, it would be him.

"Who the hell am I? What the hell are we? Who the hell made us so hellbent on screwing each other over? Actually, let me rephrase. Why are we so hellbent on screwing each other over?"

You kept rattling on question after question. Contemplating the meaning of your existence to a snake that no one but yourself could see. In your confused frenzy, you fail to notice the grey clouds engulfing the sky. The loud roar of lightning and sudden rainfall put a halt to your pacing.

So much for clear skies.

The sound of footsteps approaching your figure brought your attention back down to earth. "Are you alright ma'am? Do you have an umbrella?" a man in a lab coat and glasses looks at you with a blank stare, but his voice indicates that he was worried for you.

You shake your head. "I didn't think it would rain today."

The man opens his mouth to say something when suddenly, your eardrums are assaulted by another clap of lightning. This time, it struck the space right next to the both of you. You frantically search your surroundings to locate exactly where it struck. The monument that your rival was on had been completely shattered into pieces.

Shit, I put Kuro on that!

The bespectacled man kneels down towards you and offers you his hand. You didn't realize that you had fallen over until you finally registered the stinging on each of your knees. You reach out towards his offered hand. Before you could place your hand in his own, darkness suddenly enveloped your vision followed by a wave of dizziness. You instinctively shut your eyes and nurse your head in your hands.

The wet and cold air of the rainstorm was suddenly replaced with a suffocating heat. You manage to open your eyes and find yourself in a completely new setting. You were on the balcony of a building, currently blanketed in flames and billowing smoke. You accidentally inhaled due to your shock and began to cough as your lungs fill with black air.

Your fit alerts a figure in the room of your presence. Seeing you, a defenseless woman all so suddenly, they found themselves frozen in shock. Your vision began to slowly clear up enough for you to notice the familiar sheen of metal. Whoever it was that you were looking at had a sword in hand, tip aimed to the floor where a man lied unconscious at his feet.

Instinctively, you reached into your handbag and grabbed your axe. You put all the force you could muster into your grip and threw it at the man with the sword. He gave out a cry of pain, indicating that you had landed a hit on him. He suddenly backs away from the body and you think you hear him mutter some sort of apology before running out the room. With the threat now gone, you make your way towards the man on the floor. He was still unconscious, so you took a firm hold of his shoulders and began to shake him awake. He wakes up with a sputter before taking notice of you.

"Who are you?" his booming voice asks

"No time for introductions! The building is burning and we need to leave! Now!"

You didn't give him a chance to get in another word. Grabbing his forearm and hoisting him on his feet, you pulled him out of the fiery room. You make sure to grab your axe, wedged deep into the wood of the door frame, on your way out.

Miraculously, you manage to find a way out the building. As soon as you're lungs fill with fresh air, you double over into another coughing fit. As you try to calm your breaths, you turn back to building. It was a temple, but not like the one you visited earlier in the day. This one seemed more rustic. It was hard to fully picture what it might have looked like due to it being quite on fire still.

If you hadn't escaped in time, the man you dragged along with you would have perished. If not by the stab of the sword looming over him, then by the flames. Speaking of him, he looks out towards the burning temple with you. Instead of worry or panic, he seemed to be rather annoyed.

"Someone tried to do away with me as I slept? Audacious, but foolish. Killing my guards and managing to get so close to me is another matter."

Who cares if you were asleep or not?! You almost died!

He then turns towards you, taking notice of your grip still on his arm. "You there," he addresses you. "Let go of me."

You let go of his arm and he rubs it as if your grip was uncomfortable. He took in the person standing before him, his apparent savior.

"You may be mere entertainment the monks brought in, but you saved my life nonetheless. You have my thanks."

Did he just insinuate that you were a prostitute?

"I must have missed all the monks among the fire. I don't have a clue how I ended up in there," you tell him.

It's now that you begin to take in your surroundings. You were no longer within the city, not a single skyscraper obscuring the night sky in sight. The air, despite standing next to a burning building, wasn't as disgusting to breathe in. The man you rescued had striking features. His hair black and eyes a carnelian hue. He wore armor sporting colors of black, white, and red. You remember seeing such attire way back when your parents were alive. He was some sort of soldier.

"What are you staring at? Surely you know who I am?" He asks. You shake your head, being at a total loss for words. This genuinely confuses him. "You saved me not knowing who I am? Not expecting reward or favor?" He gives a deep chuckle that echoes throughout the night. "So be it, I shall tell you my name. I am the man who will rule all under the sun-"

Your silence is broken by your faint laugh. Was this man seriously going to monologue and create some sort of suspenseful build-up over his own name? After he just escaped the clutches of death?

He lifts an eyebrow. "Have I said something amusing?"

You cover your mouth to stifle your giggles and shake your head once more. Surely, he must have thought you rude.

Instead, he lets out another round of laughter, this time louder. "You're a curious one. No one has acted so impudently to me before." He takes a step closer to you and you take half a step back. "You intrigue me, which is almost as worthy of praise for saving my life. I am the Lord of Azuchi Castle and Daimyo of Owari, Nobunaga Oda."

Your head involuntarily tilts to the side. You look up at him and say, "...Who?"

His brows furrow. Now he was getting frustrated. "Do you truly not know who I am?"

You fiddle with your thumbs. "Noooooo?"

"You are indeed a strange one. But I have given you my name. Now, give me yours."

You hesitated, but decided it was safe to give him your name.

"I see. A good name befitting my savior"

Was that a compliment? Hang on, where the hell are you?!

You shake your head as if to clear your mind of its confused state. "Now that we got the introductions out the way. Tell me, where are we?"

"We are at Honno-ji. The building before you is-"

"A temple. I can see that. What year is it?"

He seems taken back by your question and of the fact that you interrupted him. "It is 1582. Why?"

Ah, 1582………WHAT?!

Before you could understandably freak out, the galloping of hooves grabs both your attention. The man at the front of the small group heading in your direction shouts, "Lord Nobunaga, you're safe!"

Once he reaches a safe distance, he hurriedly dismounts and approaches you both on foot. The others that rode alongside him turn their attention towards the building and begin shouting out orders to put out the flames.

"Mitsunari," Nobunaga turns to him. "Why have you come? Where is Hideyoshi?"

"Lord Hideyoshi sent me ahead. He should arrive here shortly," Mitsunari explains. He then takes in the sight of the smoldering temple and frowns. "It would seem the information we received about your assassination attempt was correct."

You feel another coughing fit coming and try to muffle it. It is then that Mitsunari takes notice of you.

"Oh, who might you be?"

Nobunaga calls out to you. He gives a nod to Mitsunari as an indication that you were no threat and then commanded, "Present yourself to my subordinate."

"I'm- Ow!"

Something pierces your ankle and you nearly fall over yet again. Mitsunari pulls you towards him and swiftly draws his sword out. As your eyes search the ground for what could have bitten you, you notice the familiar black scales of your rival hidden between the blades grass.

"Kuro! You bastard, I thought the lightning fried you to a crisp!"

As much as you hate to admit, you were glad to see the serpent is alive and well. However, as Mitsunari took notice of the snake, he pulled you further in until you were between him and Nobunaga.

"A snake?! Please stand back!"

He firmly planted his right foot on the ground and raised his sword. You immediately went on the defense and shoved him into the Nobunaga's chest. They were dumbfounded as they saw you place yourself protectively in front of the snake as if they were the threat, not it.

"Stop! He's with me!"

"My lady, the snake could potentially be venomous. Please walk carefully towards me,' Mitsunari beckons you to him.

Oh, he's much more than venomous… hold on.

You look down towards Kuro, then to Mitsunari, then to Kuro and back to the grey-haired man again. "You...You can see him?"

"Of course I can! Now please, get back!"

You glare down at him. "You bastard! You can make people see you at will can't you?!"

Unsurprisingly, he plays dumb and slithers back on you. Like before, he situates himself around your neck before turning his gaze towards the two armor-clad men. He sends an almost condescending gaze at the grown men panicking before him, a tiny viper.

"Ok, before you panic let me explain. This is Kuro. Say hi." You roll your eyes as he hisses at them. What else did you expect? "Lovely. He's my…we've known each other for a long time."

"You say that as if the snake were a person." Nobunaga notices.

Man don't even get me started!

"He's more aware than most, but he isn't harmful. So long as you don't annoy him he won't try to lunge at you." You shift your weight to the foot he had bitten, reminding you of the fact that he sunk his fangs into you just moments ago. "Except me. He'll only bite me."

"He's not venomous, is he?" Mitsunari asks.

"He has venom," you stupidly say, but quickly backtrack on your statement. "But he never shoots it in me, I swear! like I said, you just have to be cautious around him and not give him a reason to bite you."

"A woman with a venomous snake as her companion. There is no end to your amusement, is there?" Nobunaga speaks up, impressed, and not at all ashamed of feeling so, "Mitsunari, this is my savior. Remember her well."

"I thank you for rescuing our Lord," the man, clad in purple armor and a singular beauty mark under his right eye, bows deeply towards you. "My name is Mitsunari Ishida. I serve Nobunaga's right-hand man."

You wave your hands frantically to stop him. "Ah, no need to be so formal! Despite the circumstances, It's nice to meet you as well."

you properly introduce yourself to Mitsunari, who instantly perks up at your more welcoming demeanor. "Is your foot alright? That bite must have hurt. Though now that I've gotten a better look at you, you don't appear to be a nun. Are you perhaps from abroad?"

You look down towards yourself and realized you were wearing nothing but a t-shirt, capris, and some old worn out sneakers. You must look like a clown to them. Also, what were you even supposed to say in this sort of situation? Hey, I'm from 500 years in the future. Did I forget to mention I'm actually a 300 year old deity? Life sure is crazy!

Not knowing what is safe and not safe to say, you remained quiet. Mitsunari takes notice of your hesitation and looks back at Nobunaga for some guidance. The man, now over your rude behavior, steps past his subordinate and towers over you.

"Were you not taught to speak when spoken to? You may have saved my life, but there is only so much disobedience I will tolerate. Tell us where you hail from, and quickly."

You and Kuro glance at each other. Like most of your standoffs, there seems to be a mutual understanding between you two without the need for words. Remain silent. Do not tell them of your origin or of the nature of your being. Even if he decides you aren't trustworthy and strikes you down where you stand, you will survive the blow.

You kept your mouth shut. He seems more disappointed than angry towards your answer and turns towards Mitsunari. "Restrain her. She is now officially a suspect in the assassination plot on my life"

"My Lord. She's clearly disoriented from the chaos-"

"Restrain her," he ordered with finality.

Mitsunari, hesitant but not one to disobey orders, grabs a length of rope from his horse's saddle and walks back towards you. "Please give me your hands,' he politely demands of you. You do as you're told.

"It's alright," you whisper to him. "If it makes you feel better, my reason for being silent is just for my safety. I mean you all no harm. You have my word."

"I…" he appears caught between his orders and trusting in you. "I will trust you. No person with ill intent would risk their life to save Lord Nobunaga."

You thank him by giving his hand a comforting squeeze. He makes sure to tie your hands in a manner that would make escaping impossible, but not tight enough to hurt your wrists. You're escorted away from the temple, to a camp not too far away. You're led to a nearby bonfire and told to sit and not make any sudden moves. Mitsunari steps away from you and is replaced by two of the soldiers he brought with him.

"Hey," you try to whisper as quietly as you can to Kuro, "I have a suggestion. Care to hear it?"

He slithers around your neck until he's facing you head-on. It seems he's willing to listen. "Let's call a truce," you simply state. "The only conditions are that we look out and help one another until we find a way back to our time. After we return, we can go back to despising each other for the next hundreds of years."

Were you seriously offering an alliance with your sworn enemy? Yes, yes you were. As much as you both detest the idea of having to tolerate each other, the current situation made it clear that the only way you two are going to manage to get home is to put your heads together. Maybe even get along for a change?

Ugh, the thought of befriending this slithering asshole is deplorable.

"If you agree to those terms, bite my neck."

He doesn't hesitate to sink his fangs into your throat. You're sure he's wanted to bite you until your body was littered in duo puncture marks. The guards are alarmed at your cry of pain and go to kneel beside you to see what was wrong. They both took notice of the black snake around your neck and bleeding wounds. They look at each other and then nod. "Don't move ma'am. We'll take care of the snake-"

"He's a pet! No need to draw your sword," you immediately explain to them. "Could I maybe get a rag to press against my wound?"

The guard on your right seems hesitant, but his fellow soldier nods in assurance. He leaves in search of a rag, while the guard on your left seems to get closer to you. He's probably keeping a closer eye on you until his partner returns.

Two new people enter the camp. One is clad in blue and white armor, hair a pure white color. The other in green armor with red accents, hair a natural brown. You try your hardest to listen to their conversation. So far, both new figures seem to be concerned for the well being of Nobunaga. They question him on how he managed to escape unscathed and soon the attention is turned towards you.

"This is my savior. Due to her lack of answering my inquiries about her person, I've placed her under custody until we return to Azuchi."

"That one, sitting by the fire?" the white-haired one gestured towards you. You gave him a wave with your tied hands. "What a slender thing, but appearances aren't everything. Shall I pry answers from her mouth?"

The threat of torture puts you both on edge. You more than Kuro as you would be the one subjected to it.

Nobunaga seems to notice your fear and revels in it. "Once we return home, if she refuses to explain herself again, I will leave her in your hands. For now, we prepare for our departure."

The white-haired one nods in understanding before sending a spine chilling grin towards you.

Note to self, watch out for that one.

The brown-haired one comes towards you. While he isn't as scary as the other one, his height makes up for it. He's nearly twice your height and taller than anyone in the camp. He glares down at you and says, "Whoever you are, if you have any plans to harm Lord Nobunaga, I will make you regret ever having such thoughts."

Threat after threat after threat. You were getting pretty fed up with it. You were about to give the man a piece of your mind when suddenly, Kuro lunges at him. His fangs were bared and spurted liquid out of his mouth. That wasn't a warning bite. It was an honest attempt to bite and kill.

"Kuro!" You scold him. "That's not going to help the situation!"

"A snake?! Why haven't you noticed and gotten rid of it?!" The green armored one questions your guards.

They stutter over themselves before you finally speak up in place of them. "He's my pet."

"Pet or not. Allowing such a dangerous animal around Lord Nobunaga is a risk I won't take."

He reaches down to his waist to unsheathe his sword. In your panic, you shot up on your feet and you kick him right in the diaphragm. His arms wrap around his stomach and he nearly falls to his knees over from the blow.

"The next person that points a sword at us, I'm going to hold you down myself and let him pump you full of venom!" you scream. Gods, were you so on edge that you were now threatening people?

Your suddenly thrown face first down onto the ground and pinned from behind. You turn your head to see who it was that had restrained you. It was the white-haired one. The empty barrel pointed at you keeps you still.

I smell gunpowder. That's a rifle no doubt. Father used to have one in the house in case wolves came by at night.

"Those things have a tendency to accidentally go off," you tell him.

He smiles down at you. "Indeed. You'll forgive me if it does, yes?"

Second note, I hate this guy.

Angered by his cockiness, you try to wiggle out of his hold, but it utterly fails. In fact, you actually help him get a better grip on you and make it harder for you to escape. Great job, you dumbass.

"What shall we do with the snake, my lord?" The one pinning you down asks Nobunaga.

He stood over your defenseless self and stared at you with indifference. "It is clearly a hazard, but it has yet to leave it's master side and only struck when it perceived her to be under an immediate threat. Leave it, but keep your distance."

"My Lord, that is too much of a risk. Removing the threat now would be the better option," the brown-haired one protested. Slightly bent over in pain from your hit.

"I hate to say it, but I agree with Hideyoshi," the white haired one says. "Even a moment of vulnerability on our part will result in her releasing it on us."

The one you hit is Hideyoshi. Noted.

Nobunaga smirks at him. "If you're so concerned, Mitsuhide, then I suggest you put your sharpshooter skills to good use and keep an eye on the damn thing. Now, if you're both done bickering, let us head out."

Mitsuhide didn't seem to like his new orders but answers with a practiced "yes sir", before helping you up to your feet. Without any more to say, you're escorted to an large crowd of horses and lifted onto a saddle. Mitsunari is your apparent rider and you quietly thank the heavens for your one saving grace.

"Sorry," you whisper, "I sort of made things worse for myself."

You feel him tense, immediately feeling bad for making him worry even more.

"Once we return to Azuchi, you'll be in a secure place and can speak your truth without fear of lingering ears," he tells you. The horse beneath you suddenly kinks into a speedy gallop and you hold onto him for dear life.

You travel for a few minutes before the steeds around you slow down into a complete stop. A man with an eye patch and blue and gold armor appears with another unit of soldiers. Perhaps he was back up? He sure is late though.

"Lord Nobunaga. I see you're unscathed," he says, a more casual hint in his voice.

"Physically, yes. But my pride has taken quite the hit. We're returning to Azuchi. Have your men follow."

"Damn, I guess I was too late to see some action," he answers disappointedly. He turns back towards his reinforcements and shouts, "You heard the man! It's back home for us!"

His soldiers all let out groans of equal disappointment. He laughs at their expense before maneuvering his horse to join with the rest of the retreat. It's when he and his men fully merge that he takes notice of you and your bound hands. "Who's the lass?" He shouts over to Hideyoshi.

"They're under suspicion for the assassination attempt tonight. She has a snake around her neck and it will strike if you get near."

"A woman with a snake, huh? I like you already. The name's Date Masamune. I hope we can get to know each other well."

First I get called a prostitute, then this asshole flirts with me while I'm tied up! So much for a relaxing vacation!

________________________________________________________________

Kennyo watches the retreat of the Oda alliance with rage. His chance to exact revenge was in the palm of his hand but had been slapped away in a mere instance. The rustling of bushes gains his attention and he turns to see Ranmaru knelt before him, sweaty and disheveled. He's now porting a gash across his normally pristine face. "Are you alright? We need to tend to that wound to prevent it from becoming infected. It'll likely scar."

Ranmaru is on the verge of tears. "Master Kennyo, I failed you. All our efforts to eliminate the head of the Oda have gone to waste because of-"

The monk shushes him. "You've done well, Ranmaru. You've demonstrated how well the devil king trusts you. That alone is enough to be the cause of their undoing."

Ranmaru flinches at the mention of the word "trust." Kennyo turns back to look at the retreating forces once more. He turned back just in time to see that the they had a prisoner in their midst. He becomes even more enraged once he realizes that it was a woman.

"They would go so far as to blame a woman for the fire and hold her captive. The Oda couldn't stoop any lower than they have now."

Kennyo begins to walk away into the darkness of the forest. He gestures for the boy to follow, and he does so without hesitation.

________________________________________________________________

Another set of eyes watch the retreat of the Oda alliance from the sidelines.

"How disappointing. Though perhaps this is a blessing in disguise," Kenshin, initially unhappy seeing Nobunaga escape unharmed, immediately perks up at his own thoughts. "I still have an opportunity to drag the devil king out to battle and strike him down myself."

Shingen shakes his head in disbelief. Although he was frustrated as the rest, seeing the Oda pull out victorious and without a single loss, hearing Kenshin retain his bloodlust was reassuring. "He truly earned the title of devil king. Only a demon could have such twisted luck on his side."

"Lord Shingen," Yukimura suddenly notices an unfamiliar figure among the retreating forces, "look at who is riding with Mitsunari Ishida."

Shingen searches out for the familiar tuff of grey hair. He was in a bad mood, but now he's pissed. That was a woman, bound by the wrist the same way a criminal would be. "Unforgivable," is all the Tiger of Kai could growl out.

"Yes," Yoshimoto nods in agreement with his cousin, "Such a small thing. She must be scared to death."

Kenshin doesn't make any comment at the revelation, but he notices the panic that overtakes Sasuke's face upon hearing that a woman had been taken prisoner.

"I've grown bored. Let us return to Echigo and reconvene another day."

Kenshin doesn't wait for an answer. He turns away and the rest of his allies follow without a word. "Sasuke," Kenshin calls out to his ninja who had yet to move from his spot, "Do not keep me waiting."

He snaps out of this train of thought before following along. "Yes, my Lord."

________________________________________________________________

You had remained quiet the entire trip. A few people called your name, but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even acknowledge whoever was speaking to you. You failed to realize that night had turned into morning. Your surroundings had changed from foliage into a massive fortress-like castle.

Kuro paid attention to your surroundings in your stead. Anyone that had gotten even a little close was hissed at and had transparent venom spat at them. Even Mitsunari, your one and only ally as of now, was not spared of the serpents radar.

You finally speak your first words after hours of silence. "If you keep threatening every man that so much as looks in my direction, I might start to believe you actually liked me all this time."

You're once again bitten, this time on the back of your hand. Blood quickly pools in the twin punctures before rolling down and staining your skin.

Mitsuhide had witnessed the snake sink its fangs into you. "Oh my, such a temperamental pet. Are you sure you have it under control?"

You roll your eyes. "Of course I do. Hey, Kuro," you look down to him. "If things turn ugly, pump me full of whatever you got left."

The snake nods, pleased at the privilege you've given it. Mitsuhide narrows his eyes at you, concerned over your order. You make sure to pat Kuro's scaly head while maintaining eye contact with him.

The entourage heads towards the stable. Stable hands awaited their return and began to board and tend to each steed. Mitsunari eventually dismounts and offers his hand for you to take. You gratefully accept his gesture and he helps steady you on the ground.

"How are your hands? If they feel sore I'll redo my bindings," he offers.

You shake your head. "I'm alright. What's going to happen to me now?"

"Lord Nobunaga requested an immediate council upon his return. It will likely be about the events that took place at Honno-ji and will take some time to inform and gather everyone needed. Until then, you...you will be…"

You didn't rush him. He was clearly having a hard time trying to muster up the courage to tell you what will happen to you until the meeting. You already have an idea what it would entail.

"You will be held in a prison cell until your fate is determined."

There it is.

"Will Kuro be allowed to stay with me?"

He nods. "Hideyoshi requested that the snake remain on your person at all times and visible. I hope his request isn't too unreasonable."

"If it puts the people here at ease then I can live with it. I'd feel safe having him close by anyways, so I'm quite thankful he didn't call in some expert snake hunter or something."

Mitsunari smiles at your words. "Even when the odds are against you, you find the positive within. You are truly admirable, my lady."

You return the smile. "Thank you, but I'm sure I told you before not to be so formal!"

"Very well. I agree with the condition that you address me with familiarity too. Is that alright?"

You nod and, for a brief moment, you forget that you were technically still a prisoner.

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#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikemen series #otome #ikemen sengoku fanfiction #ikemen sengoku writing #ao3 fanfic #ikesen writing #ikesen fanfic #writing #fanfic: warmth #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction

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greyheartlabs · 4 years

Text

The Triple Black Diamond Saga.

CH.1 between the Hawks and the Crows, some secrets just don’t keep. Part 1

@hawksweek2020 prompt 1: clichés/ a personality trait reversed.

(p.s. this first chapter was meant to be a part of @hawksweek2020‘s very first prompt of the first day (i.e. clichés/ a personality reversed) but thanks to a collage test and the rest of the week being school work, I couldn’t post this part on this Sunday -or, really any other of my chapters- until now. so as much as I would love for @hawksweek2020 feature this in their collection, I would understand if they didn’t. But to anyone else who is reading this, just knowing that thanks to missing hawksweek2020 I have more freedom for the other chapters to work with then to follow the prompts of the week but they will still be inspired by them as I think they are a great prompts to take inspiration from. so in thanks to @hawksweek2020 for at least giving me ideas for what I hope everyone would think as amazing fic!)

Word count: 1,101. (ps. just note, this relatively short for me)

Calling the situation that he was in a ‘fight’ would have been too strong of a word but calling it ‘dude,-I-have-told-you-a-thousand-times-to-stop’ would have been more accurate.

Hawks, who for the longest while, finally had a decent day where he could relax more easily. The sun was shining brighter with clear blue skies and honestly, no villain attacks or anything on the home-front he had to report. Honestly, nothing he could think of that would warrant concern. (Well, there were a few lingering ‘issues’ that could be taken care of but that was for another time.) Really, the day could have been perfect if this jackass hadn’t decided to use his quirk to cause some trouble around lunch time.

Hawks was looking around one last time before he decided to call it in for his lunch break and for a moment every looked calmed and quiet but then off in the distance he saw a fight brewing at the south side of a local outlet mall were a large group was gathering around to view the spectacle. “Oh no…” he thought, rolling his eyes. He knew that he had to intervene as the being the number two hero means that as a requirement of his job he had too. So, he flew down to the crowd and tried to gather everyone’s attention. To his expectations, everyone that heard him almost immediately cooed and awed at his presence. To further calm the situation, he tried to get the attention of the two idiots that started brawling. But weirdly enough, they took no notice of him.

Hawks let out an exasperated sigh.

Rubbing the back of his neck to think of an idea, he couldn’t help but to wonder; why were two full-grown ass men fighting each other in broad daylight? Almost to a bloody pulp. If he were to be honest with himself, he wouldn’t even have bothered with the two men but due to the duties of work, he had to keep the peace even for stupid stuff like this. He looked around, wondering if he should ask anyone if they knew of how this fight even started, that is until he heard a familiar voice and his pitch-black companion that came right up behind him.

“Hawks!” the crow-headed teen shout out.

Hawks turned and smiled as he saw favorite UA student Tokoyami and his much taller, body inked in nothing but black from head to toe and white hair friend.

“Hoho! Hey, Toko! What are you doing in Fukuoka? Aren’t you supposed to be in school back in Tokyo?”

“Huh? Oh, please don’t worry about that Hawks. I, Dark shadow and Kuroiro here were just spending our Sunday doing something new.” Tokoyumi explain. “by the way, why are you of all people trying to deal with this trivial clash of humanity’s dark and aggressive blight?”

Hawks had to bite his tongue from bursting out in chuckle.

“Well, I-…” Hawks was interrupted by Kuro.

“And speaking of the fight, Toko, who do you think is going to win? My money is on the black tux- … Aww hell! They stopped!” Kuro whined, pointing at the now huffing and puffing, nearing total collapse from exhaustion men who now look more dazed and confused then they ought too.

Hawks took note of the two and felt a twinge pity for them, so he asked if Tokoyami and Kuroiro would like to talk after words when he was done writing up a report for these two dumbasses.

“Sure, why not.” They both said.

Hawks smiled and flew over the two men and the police that is trying to piece together and document what the hell just had occurred.

“We don’t know what had happened!” The tux wear replying to the officer in front of him who asked about his side of the confrontation.

“all I remember is this eleven-year-old kid….” The other man replied.

“Actually, Yeah! Now that I think about it that little twerp somehow screwed with us!”

“Say what now…?” The officer that was taking down the men’s statements raised an eyebrow in flat disbelief at what heard as he believed this was just two drunken morons that got into an argument that just got heated despite fact that the men were acting and appearing relatively sober at the present moment.

That was about the time Hawks came in onto the scene.

“So, what happened here?” Hawks asked, with a cheeky undertone.

“Holy crap! It’s Hawks!” one of the bloody duo replied.

“Yes! It is I, but please hold your applause until later!” Hawks knew that he sounded like an arrogant S.O.B but it was all he could do without laughing in the men’s faces.

“apparently a kid’s quirk made these two fought…” the statement officer answered back.

“oh!” now this was piquing his interest. “Then could the two so kindly tell me happened with you two and this kid?

The two men sitting at the feet of the number two hero on the city’s sidewalk both gave their best statements to him and what apparently had happened was that the two men was about to grab lunch during their break together when this little kid came up to them and ask if they would like to make a bet. The men, both perplexed but slightly amused decided to humor this kid. Big mistake; as this is kid made a deal with them that if he couldn’t make these men fight each other after having some personality trait reversed, he would owe the two about 530 yen. The men, who were content and confident in their relationship honestly figured what harm could be done?

Apparently, the kind of which where they are both bloody and bruised on the sidewalk, in the middle of a dissipating crowd of people and being questioned by officers about a fight that they didn’t have any recollection for.

Hawks felt about bad for the two as they clearly weren’t lying or intoxicated, so he asked where the kid could possibly be.

Both men immediately point back behind them where the south entrance of the mall was.

*Sigh*

Hawks thanked the two men and wished them an easy recovery and went off to find the kid. But before entering, he suddenly got struck with an idea; having recently heard that both boys have gotten their licenses for their hero work so he calls them both over and asked if they wanted to help him with simple task of finding this kid.

#hawks fanart #wing hero hawks #hawksweek2020 #mha tokoyami #tokoyami fumigake #bnha kuroiro #shihai kuroiro #fanfic #black diamond #triple #fighting #two men #funny #a personality trait reversed #mha #Bnha funny #bnha

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theateared · 4 years

Text

Just a small drabble that features a kinda-date-but-not-really-because-they’re-both-dating-other-people sort of deal. Very fluffy with some mild angst. All dialogue’s in Hural.

_____ . ( 🞮 ) . _____

When Murr had first mentioned the dragon migration, Kuro had thought it was a joke. A joke that he wasn’t getting, apparently, for he didn’t find it very amusing - but when Murr kept asking him to attend it with him, he got the sinking feeling that he was being serious.

“And this ‘dragon migration’,” he’d started, voice full of sarcasm as he stared at the other through half-lidded eyes, wholly expecting him to crack: “Where can we see it?”

But then Murr had given him a clear-cut destination. Overwhelmed by his confidence, Kuro had felt inclined to say yes, if only for the payout later when it was inevitably revealed to be a fabrication. They’d have to stop circling random places at some point. I can afford to kill some time, he’d thought, almost snickering as he agreed. Murr had lit up like a Christmas tree. He supposed, in some way, that made the wild goose chase he was bound to be taken on somewhat worth it.

“How much further?” he asked, bag slung over his shoulder. They’d had to travel for a couple of days using his squad car, passing through district after district until he lost count of how many borders they’d crossed. When he’d finally been able to leave the vehicle behind he hadn’t done anything to stop the audible sigh of relief. Even Murr had been growing irritable, - and he had his excitement over dragons to keep him sane.

“Gettin’ there,” Murr promised, continuing the short hike up the rocky cliff. He supposed he had Killian to thank for this amazing idea, and he would’ve done so had he not revealed himself to be a total nutcase. This was the only good idea he’d ever presented Murr with since they’d met. He felt that that in itself took away Ryder’s right to credit.

They ascended the cliff together in relative quiet. Both were tired and worn, and without Murr’s steadfast determination to see dragons in real life, they may have stopped by now. The further they went, the more curious Kuro became. It woke him up enough to look around, taking in the dull fog.

“If that stays we won’t be able t’see shit,” he remarked snidely.

Murr glanced over, then snickered. “Shut the hell up, man.”

At some point, the mist faded. It was as if they’d risen above a treeline, clear surroundings totally different to the shrouded scenery below. The rock beneath their feet became smooth, as if sanded down for walking on, and the night sky was a deep shade of indigo, stars routinely twinkling as if on a timer set by God. The moon hung low, round and full, appearing much closer to them than it was. As they came to a stop near the edge of the cliff, rock jutting out like the head of a shark, Murr wandered alarmingly close to the brink and peered over it. Kuro immediately lurched forward, securing his arm in a vice-like grip.

“What’re you, fuckin’ stupid? Get back befer y’hurt yerself.”

He wasn’t surprised when Murr wrenched his arm free, continuing to do as he pleased. The Sheriff watched with his heart in his throat as his friend swung his legs over the lip of the cliff, feet dangling, tempting the abyss forth with every candid swing of his feet. He could see it now: fate reaching up like a hand beneath the bed, talons wrapping tight around the man’s ankles and dragging him into the dark below.

He went and sat beside him. If the talons came, they’d be claiming them both.

“So, I ended up researchin’ this myself since the source is less than reliable,” Murr started, dipping into his jacket pocket and retrieving his notepad. It was flipped open, relevant page marked with a thin threaded bookmark. His neat cursive scrawl was illuminated only by the moon. Part of Kuro felt that was right; Murr’s ramblings were meant to be consumed by low-light. “They’ll come soon. Apparently they pass here headin’ west. Nobody knows where they’re goin’, just that they won’t be back for at least a millenium.” He looked at him then, crimson gaze full of wonder. The light pooling there was more than just the moon. “I’m so excited that I can barely stand it. T’think I’m gonna see dragons in real life…!”

“Did y’have doubts that they existed?”

“Well OBVIOUSLY! I mean, you know how majestic ‘n’ perfect they are! I thought they were just works of fiction. Cool mythical beasts. Kinda ironic now that I think about it, though-- for me, they were trapped in stories the same way that princesses were trapped in towers.”

Kuro thought briefly about the statement, then decided it was endearing. Murr’s mind had always fascinated him. When they were children, his friend’s imagination had seemed endless. He’d been too young to understand the extent of their childish games. Aléjandro Murphy had never played pretend ‘normally’; he’d dragged Kuro through cyberspace; made them live as fugitives in treehouses; had them both fighting monsters and evading curious ‘men in black’ while carrying the secrets of the universe in their socks as they charged through thick woods and streets tinged by the coming of sunset… they’d been to the end of the world together, even if only in their minds. Now that he was there, tempting fate by sitting so precariously, only their silhouettes visible from a distance, courtesy of the moon’s pallid glow, it truly felt as if they were the only ones in the universe.

Do you feel that too? That undeniable comfort? I think you only feel that kind of comfort if you know you’re with a person that makes death seem small.

“Oh, look!” Murr cried softly, arm sweeping wide as he gestured towards a curious glow in the distance. This is the most alive you’ve looked in decades. “They’re comin’!”

Kuro would be the first to admit that he felt slightly mystified when the dragons finally showed up. They were little more than tiny blots against the night sky at first, seeming to move slowly, though when they got closer, Kuro realised how wrong he was. They were flying in a coordinated cluster, scales giving off the illusion that they were glowing as they passed the full moon. Murr had gone rigid, holding his breath, eyes glued to the beautiful spectacle as the dragons darted past. Kuro’s breath was stolen as one curved particularly close, blast of air billowing past them both like a gale as the creature disappeared into the night. Despite its quick departure, they’d both gotten a good look at it It was a lot like a plane in that they underestimated just how big it was when it was far away. Its true size, though hulking over them incredibly briefly, had been staggering.

They came in droves, appearing suddenly and vanishing just as quickly, like comets, like shooting stars, large wings blocking the light, long tails serving as their cosmic trails. Though he wasn’t able, all Murr wanted to do was get up and follow one. Maybe if he wished hard enough, he’d take flight and follow the beasts into a new age.

Speaking of wishes…

When Kuro finally turned his head, prepared to tell his friend just how stunning that display was, he saw Murr clasping his hands tightly together, eyes screwed shut. He thought he could see the slightest hint of a tremble, as if his body was clenching in pain.

“What’re you… doin’?”

“Shh. I’m makin’ a wish. My notes said it was a good idea.” When he heard Kuro snort, he tacked on a defensive: “Don’t laugh, this is serious business.”

“How old are you again?”

“Old enough t’feel like I need a good wish or two.”

As per his request, Kuro fell quiet, though not without a derisive huff. The silence somehow felt alive with a power that he could not place-- as if he’d stepped into a slice of time that was far bigger than he was. Eventually, Murr relaxed in place once more, eyes opening and regarding the moon with an almost crestfallen glint.

“So?”

Murr turned his head slowly, one eyebrow arching. “‘So’ what?”

“Wha’d y’wish fer?”

Murr’s mouth fell open, eyebrows knitting together before he reached out and swatted at Kuro’s leg. Somehow, the Sheriff had offended him. “C’mon! Don’t y’want my wish t’actually come true? Don’t try t’sabotage me like that!”

“Wishes don’t come true, Murr.”

“Not with that attitude. No wonder the stars have never aligned for you, y’fuckin’ grump.”

That was part of the reason he was so reluctant to confess the truth. Though he echoed Kuro’s sentiment deep down-- beneath all that childish wonder was an adult pain, something so tumultuous and raw that it dispelled mystique by force-- some desperate part of him wanted to believe that making a wish would do something; that just this once, the universe would hear him, heed him. The second reason that he didn’t want to say something was because it was cruel.

I wished for you. I wished for us. Even though I know it can’t happen. Even though we have lives completely separate of one another now, I wished that we could return to the way we were. I wished that you would open your eyes and see me, see how much I’m hurting and take me in, take me in even in spite of your marriage. And that’s why I’m even more sure that you’re right: this wish won’t come true not only because they don’t, but because even if they did, divine intervention would turn a blind eye to such selfishness.

“C’mon,” Kuro prodded, legs stretching before he relaxed once more, head resting on a shoulder as he gazed imploringly at him. “Tell me. Quit actin’ like a child.”

The eye contact sent a jolt of electricity through him. Though he knew that Kuro had trouble with face blindness, it really felt like he was seeing him, that he was able to see through his eyes and to the truth without him needing to say a word. His mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry, a familiar heat crawling up the back of his neck.

Have I already exposed myself? Does he know? Think of something. Say something.

“Hah…” He forced a smile, glad he was sitting down for his knees suddenly felt weak. “... I wished for a new season’a Passcode.”

The silence stretched between them, eyes locked on one another’s before Kuro tore his gaze away with a harsh laugh. Though it stung slightly to have such disapproval aimed at him, Murr couldn’t help but feel relieved to receive his scorn. It was much better than receiving his hatred. Had he kept pushing, he might have ended up saying something that he’d regret.

“Are you fuckin’ serious? That shit makes me sad.” “Big words for a guy who had--” “Shut the fuck up.”

He did. While Kuro spent his time snickering to himself, Murr tried to recuperate, tried to duct tape his feelings back together. He was glad that he had ‘embarrassment’ to blame for the slight hint of colour on his cheeks.

“This was nice though… it was everythin’ I hoped it’d be. Thank you for comin’ with me, Kuro. I know this… wasn’t exactly your idea of a weekend but this was important t’me. I really appreciate it.” He fumbled almost nervously with his hands, unable to keep looking in his direction. As soon as he was facing away from him, he felt slightly better. Regardless of the wish, he knew that this was a memory he wouldn’t soon forget.

“You kiddin’? I originally came because I thought y’were jokin’ ‘n’ I wanted t’be there fer the fallout. But this night has actually been one of the best I’ve had in a long time.”

Murr tried to keep himself from lighting up too much too quickly. Knowing that Kuro had had a good time made him feel so happy that he couldn’t put it into words. He suddenly felt shy, like a school boy that had been confessed to. If only that was so. He knew it was pointless to hang on like he was-- hell, he knew he should let go for his own sake, nevermind Kuro’s-- but every time he felt close to unearthing the cumbersome feelings that had rooted themselves deeply into his heart, he felt Kuro replant them. It was in that quiet intellect, that reliable resolve, that rare smile… no matter how hard he tried to let go, he couldn’t do it.

You were almost mine. That idea haunts my dreams.

“I’m glad…” he admitted, staring out into the dark night sky, feeling pleasantly lost. “You don’t know how glad I am t’hear that.”

#☆ — i never promised you your dream boy. ❜ ( main. )#☆ — i'm just here to destroy. ❜ ( ic. )#drabble *#/ murr's gay and sad what else is new

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athyrabunlord · 6 years

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Thoughts and Notes about ep1-5

This is a continuation of this post here, and some extras too. It’s less casual and more organized this time.

I now have rewatched ep1-3, and then watched ep4-5 which I was strongly recommended to do because those will answer some of my questions.

Tl:dr version - ep4-5 did nothing to endear the MC duo (if anything, it did the opposite), but provided interesting insights on other characters and thus are worth the watch

The (once again very long) version:

As said above, I have now watched ep4-5 as per recommendation because I’m told that I missed a lot from skipping ep4-5, that reading summaries wasn’t enough because that messes up the narrative. Fair enough, I agree with that and therefore decided to watch for myself.

Before that though, I rewatched ep1-3 just to see what else I could have missed. I must say that it was very interesting in this rewatch now that we know more about Nana and Hikari. Many of Nana’s lines in these earlier episodes are indeed foreshadowing. Her friggin’ first line is a foreshadowing.

One thing to add here that I missed mentioning in my previous post is that, yes it’s strongly implied that Karen have not participated in the loops’ Revues/that ep1 is the first time she participated.

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Notes about Ep1:

The narration of the play Starlight, of little Karen and Hikari and when they made their promise; the play’s cast was the girls in their Revue outfits with Hikari on the very top

Maya pointing out that she couldn’t see Hikari’s heart, which both Kuro and Nana expressed their surprise’; since the scene switched to the stairway, we don’t know what Nana’s expression is then - surprise about that insight on Hikari, the rogue factor, or surprise about Maya able to sense that? Ep7 did reveal a lot, but not all yet

I knew Kirin’s eyes were green but now that I’m staring at them, I think they’re the same/close to the shade of Nana’s green

Hikari would’ve lost to Junna if Karen hadn’t intervened, and then Junna lost due to the element of surprise.

Revue of of Passion - with help of ep8, it’s obvious now why Hikari would’ve lost, she no longer had her passion after all

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Notes about Ep2:

Just as Kirin warned, both Hikari and Junna reminded Karen not to speak of Revue in public (the first rule of Fight Club is, you do not… cough); Mahiru’s reaction was confusion, Nana’s was surprise, implying this could be the first she finds out of Karen participating the Revue

Maya and Claudine, pls go a get a room X”DDDDD the chemistry between these two good lord

Hikari noting that Karen doesn’t have enough shine, that’s why she wasn’t chosen in the first place; Karen countered that what Junna said made her heart doki/making her want to understand and try harder (on top of the fact Hikari’s back with her here)

Nowhere was it stated that ep1’s 3-way match didn’t count or does count; however, the fact ep2 is “Day 2 Audition” implies there is some sort of impact

Junna said the moment she became Stage Girl was when she was 8; interesting note is that it’s implied she watched a play of Starlight or similar, but the cast was shown as mannequins in contrast to ep1

Revue of Desire- Junna wants to be a star; she wants to shine and step out from the shadows, to surpass Maya and Kuro and thus she tried and tried so hard just to keep up; in my rewatch here, I note that Karen didn’t even talk-no-jutsu… she just said she wants to become stars with Hikari, and the next moment landed that decisive blow

After that, Kirin remarked he now knows why Karen wasn’t originally chosen, implying Hikari and Karen’s fate are shared

Maya defeated Kuro but neither’s stories are shown enough at this point to judge whose desire is stronger

Summary: still cannot accept Junna’s loss. If Junna doesn’t have as much talent as the top girls, she at least has passion and work ethics and desire to win which Karen lacks at this point; even if I take a step back and say Karen’s desire is stronger than Junna’s… so, having a goal to due to a childhood promise is more favorable/stronger in the Revue than a desire to reach the star through hardwork? Hmm. I’ll just say Junna lost because she was overthinking and, quoting her, the simple-minded ones are stronger lol

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Notes about Ep3

Nana seems (pleasantly) surprised when Junna and Karen seem so close; could be due the fact this rerun truly is different

I really must mention I like the start of Claudine and Futaba’s growing bond/dynamic

Kaoruko talking to Mahiru about how Hikari’s presence brought all the changes; it could’ve been just an off-handed comment, or does Kaoruko know more than she seems? (even though ep5 appeared to be her first entrance to Revue and her centric ep6 didn’t confirm that)

Still irked by what Karen told Hikari - “I’ll be back after I win!”; I’ll just put it as her being idealistic and believes that her dream is enough fuel to lead her to victory, especially after the match against Junna

Seriously, Kuro and Maya, I have a room all prepared, go for it, let it all out gah pls just go at it

Revue of Pride - Maya expressing surprise that Karen is even in this Revue; meaning she has never considered Karen as a possible rival, or she thought Karen didn’t have a goal/reason to be top star; she asked Karen just what had she offered in exchange, to reach for the star? Indeed, what had Karen offered?

Kuro vs Futaba, and flashes of the other girls in their Revue outfits (but only Nana’s katanas were shown); was this implying that there have been other matches by this Day 3 of Audition already? If anyone has a chart of who’s fought who already on which days, that’d be great (I’ve seen some on twitter but can’t find them anymore).

Allow me a moment to gush over Maya’s part in the duet of ep3 again. Those lyrics are just so damn good lol. And also goddamit that beautiful animation

Instead of herself, Maya mostly talked about Kuro; I’ve already talked about this in my previous post but yeah, I love them. This is KuroMaya

Interestingly, after her victory, Maya said “the passion with her (Kuro) is…”, trailed off; well, I guess we’ll wait for a Kuro-centric ep to find out more

Hikari trying to intervene but couldn’t; implying Kirin really did sneakily allow Karen to crash the audition in ep1, or Karen has some sort of power that allowed her to sneak in without Kirin’s notice

Conclusion: while Maya is indeed more superior in skills than Karen, this being Revue of Pride implies that due to Maya’s pride/confidence in her skills and acknowledging what’s at stake, she defeated Karen

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Anyway, finally here we are, ep4-5. I took into consideration all the points that those arguments have made against my post and what I should look out for:

explanation/evidence in Karen being so powerful (ie. improving enough to defeat Claudine)

The impact of Karen losing to Maya has on the plot/character development

The resolution of the Mahiru-Karen relationship (as well as, the Mahiru-Karen-Hikari situation)

The Karen-Hikari bond being a strong enough fuel for the viewer to relate to and root for them

Summary/Notes about ep4

Once again we’re shown that little Karen and Hikari’s promise was made after they’ve seen the play Starlight; however this time, while played by the girls, they’re in the actual play’s outfits and the two as the lead; for the first time, we’re shown exactly what happened after the two leads reached the top; Karen was… affected by the red light (interestingly, her own jewel color), and then the scene continued to the next line of how ‘their dreams could never be’

Bana-nice; Nana seems happy at the new term, perhaps because that’s never happened in any of the reruns before

Sigh, really, making a ruckus in the morning, disturbing most of your dorm mates’ rest, and ditching your hallway cleaning duties, that’s just rude and disrespectful; Karen did apologize and promise to be back soon (which she didn’t)

Kaoruko talks to Futaba about the Revue audition, foreshadowing ep6

Hikari reminding/making sure Karen remembers their promise, and the two chatting about various things, while walking around the city dragging her suitcase and making Karen chase after her for the whole day; I’ll… just leave it as because Hikari haven’t been back to Japan for 12 yrs and thus want to do a bit of tour around; also, Karen mentioning she felt that she and Maya were on totally different stage

Important Note: we’re shown yet again that Kuro was practicing, as per all previous episodes; that’s 4 eps in a row; why specifically keep showing her practicing, out of the other girls? I’m really excited for her centric ep

Also seriously MayaKuro please, I beg of you, do something about your sexual tension *writhes* a claymore couldn’t cut it in half X”DDDDDD

Ahem. Kuro asking Maya why she’s in the Revue, and Maya replying she’s jealous at the very thought of someone else being the Top Star; implying she wanted to win to keep their status quo of her being no.1 and therefore, her partner/no.2 will remain Kuro

Hikari trying to warn Karen of the stakes, of what it means to lose at Revue; Karen just assuring Hikari she won’t lose again because she wants to shine, that she’ll be so brilliant and intense that she won’t lose to everyone;

Hikari reminding Karen there could only be one winner; Karen refuted that Kirin never said that - rather, the winner could be whoever presents the most dazzling revue; Hikari is in disbelief since there’s no way they’d get special treatment like that; Karen assures Hikari it’ll be okay (At this point, I think that’s exactly what will happen lol)

Once again, Nana looks very happy about ‘bana-nice’ and that this is the first time they made up alibi to get past roll coll for the absent duo

It was never shown that Karen or Hikari contacted the girls that they won’t be back; sure they ran out of money but, surely their phone still have battery? If not, that’s utterly irresponsible of them to just get out like that and expect things to work out

The rest of the girls are such amazing friends; Karen thanked Junna for doing her cleaning duties; in spite of the dorm head finding out and Junna freaking out about the hardcore training as punishment, the bottom line for Junna is that she’s glad Karen and Hikari are safe; the rest of the girls welcome them back

Conclusion, if you really ship KarenxHikari, you’ll probably enjoy it. If not, well, you’ll enjoy all the other moments and appreciate the other girls.

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Summary/Notes about Ep5:

For Mahiru, Karen has always been a source of light, absolutely brilliant; however, so are the others in this prestigious Academy; Mahiru thought everyone but herself is radiant; it’s implied that she’s been struggling with this inferiority complex for a long time

Once again, Nana seems pleased at Karen’s change; however, her gaze was cloudy and displeased when the GroupB girls suggested Hikaren as the leads, that she should move forward and strive for improvement; def foreshadowing of ep7

Mahiru had such trouble waking up Karen in the morning, shown in previous episodes; now, Karen woke up early to train with Hikari, now that she’s made a promise to Hikari that she won’t lose again and will catch up to Maya. Good for her to finally be motivated, but coming from Mahiru’s POV, that’s painful. The unspoken question of “I’m not good enough to motivate you?” lingers in the air

We learn about Mahiru’s background; that she came from a large family, who owns a farm, and it had a been a huge deal for her to get accepted into the Academy, enough to get interviewed

After a bit of… stalkerish behavior from Mahiru (which I suppose is meant to be presented as comical but I just cringe) in which Hikari is always present and thus stopped Mahiru from really doing anything, Mahiru finally snaps, telling Hikari not to steal her brilliance which is Karen; Hikari is irked by the casual use of the word ‘steal’ (which is explained later in ep8)

Mahiru receives the mail about the Revue, marking this as her first fight

Revue of Jealousy - in a way, this makes sense why it’s only now that Mahiru qualifies to participate in Revue; on a side note, I really, really dig the song…

The whole thing is presented as comical in an almost psychotic, creepy way; of course, Mahiru’s completely snapped; she’s scared of losing her place, of losing her shine; she’s the one who had always been by Karen’s side but now…

Mahiru’s. Weapon. Is. Badass.

Also, a note, you -can- intervene in other Revues somehow; if Mahiru or Karen wanted, they could have started fighting Maya and Futaba; Kaoruko and Junna; Hikari and Kuro then and there

Anyway, it’s very painful to watch Mahiru chasing after Karen. “I just want to be useful again.” “Do you not need me anymore?”

After Mahiru’s self-deprecating rant, Karen counters that Mahiru has her own shine and lists all the qualities she likes about Mahiru, making her recall the joy of being accepted to this Academy and so on

And then, Karen won. If going by my above points, this is Revue of Jealousy so in that aspect, Mahiru definitely should have won. If not, still I don’t see how Mahiru so easily lost. As mentioned in my previous post, where is the supposed damage from being repeatedly thwonked by that mace/scepter? Karen did a ‘homerun’ to win but, urgh, she won because she made Mahiru recall her own shine??

Afterwards, we’re shown Mahiru acknowledging her own shine, which has always been there since middle school, and that she won’t rely on anyone anymore.

Conclusion: I tried to remain as neutral as I could but now I’m sitting here, tasting bitterness and just overall horrible for Mahiru. Those summaries I read before were nice and sugarcoating in comparison now that I’ve watched the real thing. If the ep’s intention is to make viewers feel horrible for Mahiru, then in that aspect it’s a successful delivery. If the ep’s intention is for the viewer to accept Karen and root for her… My opinion of her went from neutral to you’re such a horrible friend who doesn’t deserve Mahiru at all. I want to like you Karen, I really do because you’re the MC, but I really can’t, not after ep5.

I feel like full extent of Mahiru’s despair was just dismissed. Her issues, not just the jealousy of Karen being ‘taken away’ from her side, felt really downplayed. Sure, Karen did give her hope and the other others’ acknowledgement at the end, the warm and family-like atmosphere soothe her, but the scale is just too much to justify that change. You do not just overcome years of feeling inferior over one supposedly inspirational speech. Ep 5 isn’t just horrible on the Karen-Mahiru relationship now, it’s a slap in the face to the character of Mahiru. I’m… appalled. Really, put yourself in Mahiru’s shoes.

Now, going back to the four points I listed before writing about ep4-5, none of them are answered/resolved. Karen trains yes, but Kuro has been training for so much longer and she was better than Karen to start with. Karen losing to Maya made her want to start training harder and her plan to defeat Maya is to become more radiant. Um, ok. The other two points I already said above.

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And so, I’ve come to a final conclusion that:

You either adore Revue Starlight in spite of its faults (or for some people, blind to the faults), and/or ship Karen x Hikari and/or considers Karen a good MC;

or;

You’re still watching Revue Starlight by ignoring its faults because you like the other characters/ships/elements too much, and/or really don’t care for Karen x Hikari and/or find Karen lacking as MC.

If you’re watching the series and don’t belong to the two groups I mentioned above, please, please comment on this and shed some light as the middle(?) ground since it’d be nice to see a completely different perspective.

#athyra rambles #personal #shoujo kageki revue starlight #good lord it's 3AM #I think I cared too much #but I'm glad to have done this at the same time #all my hope for redemption is resting on Kuro's episode #and the actual resolution of Nana's subplot #for now lemme just hug Mahiru

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owenna6 · 6 years

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Shidge Sport Dance AU. Plot. Part 1

Now I’m continuing to talk about the Sport Dance AU and today there will be a brief description of the story after the moment when Katie starts taking dancing lessons again. Everything will be divided into several years for you to understand clearly how the things go on.

The 1st year. New life goals

Katie comes to the “Garrison” and starts dancing again. She has private lessons with Shiro because it is more convenient for her not to be seen by many people. Besides, it is also more effective. She gets along with Lance McClain, Shiro’s assistant who is also a teacher, and Anna, who usually works with children groups. Lance often flirts with Anna (especially if they dance together or teach) but it is not clear whether they like each other in a romantic way or not.

Even if Katie pretends everything is ok she is suffering from breaking up with Jared. She can’t believe she has failed to see his real face and let herself to be put into such a trap. The thought he has been cheating on her with other girls in a bar or somewhere else and then telling her about love, that he has been jealous of her succcess almost kills her but Katie sincerely tries to forget Jared and start a new life without him. Matt does everything to support her and even meets Jared secretly to warn him that if he even dares appear near his sister he will use all his power to make him regret about it. Jared, who is quite afraid of Matt at least because he is able to turn his words into reality, disappears and leaves Katie alone for about 2 months. One day after this he suddenly notices her in the street going somewhere and follows her. That’s how he finds out she is attending dancing classes. Jared is surprised: she has always insisted she couldn’t dance and now... But he is still too careful to get closer because of Matt who is keeping an eye on Katie as he knows her character and the effect of 3-year love to Jared.

The first attempt to call Katie fails because she has changed her number (yes, also thanks to Matt). And even when he manages to hear her voice in the phone she asks him to leave her because he has ruined everything in their life. This dialog becomes the main reason for him to return her. He regrets losing such a good woman and is insulted by the way she cut everything off. Jared’s next actions are stopped only because he finds out his aunt who lives in another state is ill and her days are counted so he leaves to be near her and maybe get something after her death (she is quite rich, to tell the truth). This aunt replaced him his own parents but Jared was a really spoiled child so she said she wouldn’t give him anything until he showed he deserved it. He left her without saying a word after finishing the University and moved to New York to show he doesn’t care about her money. Thanks to this Katie earns 2 extra months of peaceful living.

The first time she remembers about her ex takes place when Shiro walks her home after an evening training because Matt is working this day. Jared turns out to be in the city again, he has money, as he says, and he is drunk. That’s how he meets Shiro. Takashi manages to make him go away but Katie immediately understands this is not the end. She dryly tells her teacher that Jared is her ex-fiance but refuses to open up more. However, Shiro himself doesn’t insist understanding it is not his business and only says that if a man dares lay his hand on a woman she should run away from him as fast as possible.Katie suddenly invites him to her flat and they have a late supper talking about common things and the girl realizes she feels very safe and comfortable near him.

When seeing Matt the other day, Shiro tells him about Jared somehow feeling it is important for him. Matt’s face gets dark but he quickly hides his emotions and thanks him for the information.

Jared starts annoying Katie by sending her everyday messages like “Morning, love!” “Miss you so much” “Your hair is great today” and so on. She tries to trace him but fails as he manages to use different numbers. Moreover, she cannot go to the police because there is no threat in his words. Katie becomes moody and nervous and everyone notices it. She works hard dancing in the evenings to be extremely exhausted and Shiro points out she should take care of herself more and not be afraid to ask for a help.

The way he acts and talks to her finally leads to a good friendship. This is also thanks to Matt again who sometimes organizes lunches or weekends for three. Gradually, Katie starts seeing in Shiro more than an acquintant or a teacher and even manages to tell him a lot about her past, including Jared and their breakup. Takashi, in his turn, also lets Katie into his own life more, she even meets Keith, his younger brother who admits she is very nice and smart.

By the end of the year the messages suddenly disappear but Katie doesn’t already pay any attention to them. Jared is somewhere else, he is not seen around, she has new friends and, what is more, a prospect of entering a competition. She has no idea Jared just waiting for his moment.

The 2nd year. New problems and feelings to come

After her fisrt competition Katie says she wants to dance seriously and Takashi acquintants her with Allura. Allura is a teacher in “Altea” Dancing Academy and his old friend. They both are professionals but Allura specializes in ballet dancing and modern choreography so Shiro offers Katie to take some lessons from her in order to improve her flexibility and posture. Alllura, who has already heard about Shiro’s new partner, talks to Katie after the seminar she has in “Garrison”. Her friendly tone and sincere amusement make Katie more relaxed about her ask. Allura accepts it. Katie starts taking kind of ballet lessons, gets along with Lotor, Allura’s partner and fiance, and her life becomes even more busy so she almost have no free time. She comes home late in the evening, then wakes up in the morning and everything starts again.

But she finds it exciting and her inner beauty finally starts to blossom again. She feels confident, her eyes are shining and music makes her life bright again. Her friendship with Takashi is developing and sometimes she feels she could tell him everything as if he was her brother. The girl supposes this is because of his incredible character and ability simply to listen to others and doesn’t worry that they meet almost every day as Takashi sometimes goes to “Altea” to see how the things are going, have weekend lunches, funny talks during a break and she fails to notice when the necessity to see his “Good morning. Sending you a tune to wake up” becomes not only a way of friendly greeting. She misses it when he skips this thing and sends it herself, she likes the way he holds her, the way he leads, the way he acts. She likes “Garrison”, she likes his friends who are now her friends too. She even likes these strange exerсises Lance suggests them in order to be more natural in dancing (almost acting, going to clubs, using club music instead of ususal one and etc.) And when Shiro presents her a big box of old dancing music with a note in Japan for her birthday, she suddenly realizes she is trapped again. Her friend has accidentally stolen her heart.

However, Katie is too smart to show it and to ruin their precious friendship, so she tries to pretend Takashi is her partner and big friend, nothing more. She shouldn’t ask for love. At least now. They continue dancing, she impoves and Allura admits she is very talented. Shiro smiles saying he felt there was something in her at the first time she came into the room and almost killed Matt finding out about his “surprise”.

They attend galas in order to achieve levels for her and gain experience. Shiro enjoys his time but doesn’t pay any attention to the fact that sometimes he behaves like a sweetheart because Katie is an amazing person who lets everyone around her be free and natural. This makes him fail to notice how Katie looks at him from time to time or how she blushes when they do tango with him “going Kuro”. The first time Takashi understands Katie is being a bit strange is several weeks after they meet Maggie at the competition. She starts visiting “Garrison” for rare “lessons” with Shiro and Katie finds her heart beating faster when seeing how different he looks when dancing with her. Maggie understands him completely and even if she stumbles she catches the next step immediately. Katie can’t help but admit she is kind of jealous of her. She is unable to imagine her partner dancing with another woman. This is the first time she has called him hers and meant it.

One day when she has no classes she goes home and get mugged. The tries to follow the mugger but suddenly a strange man comes out of the blue and grabs her telling not to move. It is Jared. He walks shocked Katie home, opens her door, makes her tea and behaves as a real angel. Katie hardly recognizes him and becomes speechless. He is a different man now, the man she fell in love with 4,5 years ago. Jared leaves her after making sure she is okay and promises to find out something about the mugger. Ketie has no idea what has happened to him and made him change so much and decides not to rush into conclusions. She tells Matt about it and he asks her to be careful and not to go down the same road. She then meets Jared again and he tells her he is different after his aunt's death and all the things happened during the latest time. He asks if she can forgive him for being such a rascal and Katie nods deciding not to become enemies with the man who seems to have changed his mind about this life.

Matt is concerned about Jared and when it is time he had to go on a monthly business trip he asks Shiro to keep an eye on his sister from time to time as he is afraid her ex is planning something. Shiro nods and jokingly promises to become her secret guard. Matt's expectations prove themselves quite soon: one evening Jared, who knows Matt is out of the city, knocks on Katie’s door. The girl lets him in and sees he is drunk. She tries to expel him but he kneels down and suddenlyconfesses to her. She is shocked but says “no” and explains she has feelings for another person and the last phrase makes Jared run wild. He rushes at her, pins her to the wall but she manages to push him away and hide in the bathroom. He fails to invade there and goes away some time after. The next day Katie ignores his calls. She understands Jared is still the same person and he has just tricked her. Katie keeps it a secret that her back is hurt after this accident, so is her wrist, and Shiro finds it out only the moment he touches her back in a dance. She says she has tripped over some wires at home and bumped into a table but her face looks a bit nervous so Shiro remembers Matt's words about Jared. And when Katie asks him to accompany her he suspects “the table” has quite a familiar personality.

They buy some food on the way home and Takashi helps katie to bring it to the flat. Whem they are in he suddenly asks her to show her back. She refuses but he finally persuades her and sees several big bruises. It is clear they are not from falling. Shiro makes Katie tell everything and then asks her let him walk her home all the evenings just for safety. She nods and bites her lip saying she causes too many trouble foe people around her. Takashi seems to have missed her words completely..

One day when Katie is already going to bed after taking a shower her door opens and Jared appears. She screams: he has turned out to have made spare keys for himself. He is acting strange, his mind seems to be blur and his gaze is so wild she freezes in shock. He grabs her wrist, pins her at the wall, than kisses and tries to pull the towel off. Katie bites him and he hits her. She falls on the floor, breathing hard and shivering from head to toe, and he is ready to jump on her again when Shiro rushes into the open door. They fight and Katie watches her usually so peaceful partner knocking out her crazy ex. When Jared is unconscious, Shiro gets up, trembling, calls the ambulance and the police and then looks at Katie with an exhausted gaze asking quietly if she is okay. She nods pulls her towel higher, stands on shaking legs and stares him in the face. He looks like Kuro with his hands in blood and eyes glittering. On her question why he has come back he answers he forgot his phone in her living room.

When the police take Jared to the opolice station, Shiro's hands are bandaged and all the questions are asked, Katie sits near him saying that if he didn’t forgotten his phone she would be in great danger now. Shiro keeps silent looking at his arms, his eyes are closed and he seems disguisted of himself.

"I’m sorry for you to have seen me like that".

"There is nothing to sorry for. You saved my life, Takashi".

"By almost killing this idiot, well..."

“Don’t worry about him, he is as tough as a cat”.

“You were scared of me”.

"No, why are you saying that? You protected me from a wild ex, you are now injured yourself and... Oh God, when will all this mess end up finally?!"

She suddenly drops her head and bursts into tears. Shiro hugs her trying to calm her down, she snuggles up to him, crying into his T-shirt and he feels his heart starting to beat faster. Shiro bites his lip but pulls her closer and runs his fingers through her soft wet hair gently. They fall asleep on the sofa and wake up only due to Lance calling Shiro and asking where he is in such an hour.

Jared doesn't bother them anymore, and the couple suddenly realizes they have feelings for each other. Both are trying to keep it a secret but everyone around starts looking at them strange and the first one is... yes, Lance. Anna can do nothing with him hinting playfully that Shiro seems to care about his partner way too much. However, Katie feels the more they dance together and the more Lance winks at her, the more she is falling hard. She has nobody to talk about it because she feels embarrassed but suddenly the necessary person comes out of the blue herself. Allura announces she and Lotor are finally getting married.

The ballerina offers Katie to be one of her bridemaids and takes her to the shop in order to choose a dress for the occasion. Her wedding one is already hanging in the wardrobe. Allura comments that Katie looks worried and when they drop in a restaurant to have a meal Katie finally finds courage to tell her everything after having glass of wine. She admits she has fallen in love with Shiro but he has no idea about it and she is afraid he does not feel the same way because 10 years separate them from each other and her brother is his best friend and a lot other reasons. Allura listens to her smiling and then taps her shaking hand sympathetically. She says Katie should hint Takashi about her feelings but be deceive as Mr. Shirogane tends to be almost deaf and blind when it comes to women.

And there are more problems for Katie here as Alllura’s advice is too hard to use. She finds out she is too shy deep in her soul. This causes problems in training and Shiro cannot figure out what has gotten into his partner. She mixes moves, blushes, struggles and acts more that nervous when he takes her back. He discusses this with Lance remembering how he helped them the previous time and the young man smirks. “I think you two need to relax a bit. We are back to my ways of bonding!”

For some reason Lance suggests them a new bunch of prompts connected with hidden love. They use old waltzs, more free and passionate tangos and Katie even thanks Lance for this because she can let her feelings bloom without arousing the suspicion. To Lance’s surprise, neither Shiro nor Katie see the new way they interact. They are just playing their parts! And no one knows what is really going on until Takashi accidentally kisses his partner on the lips during one of the trainings. And what is more, Katie does not scream or push him, she responds with a willing. When they break apart, both completely red, Shiro tries to apologize saying he seems to have forgetten himself in his own role and he didn’t want to invade in her personal space so brazenly. He fails to miss a dissapointed look in her eyes which comes after unusual sotness and embarrass. Katie mumbles it is okay and she has gone too far too. However, she refuses to let him walk her home and calls a taxi. When she is in her flat, she pulls a bottle of wine Lance presented her on her birthday and pours a whole glass of it. She watches the night sky through the window and drinks slowly thinking about the kiss. She can still feel the warmth of his lips and even see his eyes so close to her, dark and shining like embers, and she is not sure whether he didn’t notice how happily she kissed him back.

She skips their next training lying to be ill but when Takashi offers his help with bying medicines or coming to her place she refuses quickly making him feel a bit confused. This time he really thinks that kiss was far from an accident and he wanted it to happen. Neither did she. He also remembers about Jared and his violence to her and slams his face with a palm. How could she be ready for any kind of affection from men after such an insult not so long ago? Shiro decides just to give her time and then try to give her trust back, although he admits friendship is not the thing he would be satisfied with now.

Katie recovers quite quickly and even looks better when she comes to “Garrison”. The way she talks to him and accepts his touches shows she has already forgotten about the damn kiss until she jokes “The last dance was great but let’s be more careful with all these roles, okay? Otherwise, we will be provided with a new collection of Lance’s stupid comments about lovebirds”. Takashi coughs in his fist, trying to swallow the uneasiness but nods and cracks a smile.

Katie watches him just like Allura advised and makes tiny attempts to figure out how he will react to her behaviour as nothing has happened. Shiro is being as normal Shiro but the only difference is that he avoids touching her as freely as before when they don’t train. He also tries to look at her nose or her head, not into the eyes.

Allura who becomes Katie’s best advisor immediately says that’s it. Shiro being so shy with a woman he knows well means Shiro has secrets and if he dares kiss this woman then... The answer is obvious. However, Katie still doesn’t have courage tosimply grab his hand, pull him into any dark corner and make things clear in order to stop this stupid performance. She tries to hint him she likes, yes, likes him, softens her gaze, catches his glances and smiles but he seems to get either uncomfortable or puzzled.

Her patience comes to an end when Shiro and she come to her flat after a bright party in honour of their successful gala. Takashi is ready to say goodbye but she suddenly grabs his hand and pulls him closer. “It’s almost midnight. Why don’t you stay?” That is how they finally explain themselves to each other and this is the first time they get as close as it is possible.

To be continued...

#sportdance!au #shidge #shiro #takashi shirogane #katie #katie holt #voltron #vld #takatie #many many words here

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x0401x · 7 years

Text

Gakuen K: The Sewing Men

Raw version here. Please message me about any corrections.

Reishi: Gakuen K ~Wonderful School Days~ V Edition Bonus Drama CD – “The Sewing Men”.

Tatara: Ah, Munakata-san, hello.

Reishi: Hello, Totsuka-kun.

Tatara: Oh, Munakata-san. Your uniform’s sleeve is frayed. Look, right here.

Reishi: My, this is... I hadn’t noticed it. Thank you very much for pointing it out.

Tatara: It’s not something warrant being thanked for.

Reishi: No, if anything, I am the Captain of the Student Council. Since I must act as a role model to the other students, letting them see something so unbecoming would not serve as an example.

Tatara: Haah... as expected of Mister Captain! Ah, that’s right! If that’s the case, it’s better to hurry and fix the spot that is ripped, right?

Reishi: Eeh, well. I have never sewed anything immediately...

Tatara: To tell the truth, I have something nice here... tadaa!

Reishi: A sewing... kit?

Tatara: Hmm! Lately, I’ve awakened to a new hobby, which is sewing! If you’d like, you can let me fix it right away!

Reishi: That would be helpful. Then, allow me to take your words to heart.

Tatara: Then, stretch your arm out like this.

Reishi: This way?

Tatara: Hm! I think it’ll end soon. First, gotta pass the thread through the needle... and prickle these spots... huh? This is odd... Why did it become like that? No helping it. I’ll take the thread off for once...

[ripping fabric noise]

Tatara: Ah.

Reishi: Totsuka-kun? Just now, there was an alarmingly disturbing sound... Moreover, is the fact that the part which had been ripped seems to have become larger... just my imagination?

Tatara: Ahaha~! How weird~! The method is supposed to be correct...

Reishi: There might be no need to forcefully fix it right now. Totsuka-kun, you surely are busy as well... as I had thought, I will do it myself—

Tatara: No need to hold back! I’m not busy at all, so it’s fine.

Reishi: I am not holding back, though...

Tatara: Erm... Ah, it should be okay if I do it like this here, right? See, looking good. Now all that’s left is do this with the needle... oh? A peel came off. Once it becomes like this, we gotta pull—ay, ay!

Reishi: Totsuka-kun, it’s enough. It’s enough already.

Tatara: It’s fine, it’s fine! No need to worry! Alright, don’t move~! Heh~! It’s okay, it’s okay~!

Reishi: *agonized grunts*

Tatara: Ahahaha~!

Kuro: What are you doing in the middle of the corridor?

Reishi: Yatogami-kun, is it? You arrived at just the right moment...

Kuro: “Just the right”...?

Tatara: Well, to be honest, it’s a silly story of this and that...

Kuro: Ah, I understand. If that’s the case, there might be a way to save it. I have some knowledge on sewing, after all.

Reishi: That would be helpful. About this, the hem was only a little ripped at the beginning, but it became this big...

Kuro: Hm... that’s because the material of the uniform is exclusive. If you try to sew it normally, it would only fray even more. Therefore, the only thing I can do here and now is provide first-aid...

Reishi: Please. If we leave it as it is, going home would become even more of a distress... It wasn’t so terrible at the beginning, however...

Tatara: I said I was sorry~! Ah, hey, Yatogami. Use my sewing kit.

Kuro: No. I’m thankful, but... in the end, using what one is accustomed to is the most important. I’ll go with mine.

Tatara: Amazing~! It feels like it’s been used for a long time. This finger protector full of tiny holes is nostalgic.

Kuro: Hm? Ah, the thimble? I wouldn’t say it’s absolutely necessary, but it really is convenient to have one. Now, without further ado... Hah!

Tatara/Reishi: Oooh~!

Kuro: Hm... this is as far as I can go with the first-aid. If you borrow one of the machines in the Home Economics room, you should be able to fix it neatly.

Reishi: How wonderful... your hand movements almost seem to flow, and are worthy of being deemed as that of an artisan.

Tatara: Incredible, Yatogami! The stitches are super detailed too!

Kuro: No, anyone can do this if they comprehend the competencies. If you have time, I can do the repairs in the Home Economics room. What will you do?

Reishi: Please be my guest. I want to see more of Yatogami-kun’s techniques.

Tatara: Can I go too, Yatogami-sensei?

Kuro: Got it. Then let’s go to the Home Economics room.

Kuro: Heh. Completed. I believe there’s nothing unnatural with its appearance... how about it?

Reishi: Thank you very much. In the fineness of the handiwork, and the beauty of the finalization... there’s nothing I could complain about.

Tatara: I had called you “sensei” as a joke, but puns aside, you really do have a teacher-like expression!

Kuro: It was nothing much. However, since I am always mending everything for Shiro and Neko, it is only obvious that I’d make such a face. I don’t even receive proper gratitude, after all. So this... makes me a little embarrassed.

Reishi: Such attitude towards these transcendental skills... it seems Isana-kun and Neko-kun are quite self-centered.

Tatara: Ah, that’s right! Hey, Yatogami. Do you have any plans after this?

Kuro: No, nothing in particular...

Tatara: Then, if it’s not a bother, can you teach me how to sew?

Kuro: W-What? Sew?

Reishi: I see... if you can, may I be included in that as well?

Tatara: Eh? Munakata-san, you want to sew too?

Reishi: Yes. At any rate, being moved upon being touched by a crafter that has braved such a path shows the difference in people. Seeing Yatogami-kun’s technique has made me develop an interest for sewing.

Kuro: I don’t mind teaching how to sew...

Tatara: Really? Yay~! Then, it’s settled, right? I have lots of fabrics, so leave that to me. Coincidentally, I was allowed to keep them stored in this Home Economics room. Here!

Kuro: Ooh~! If we have these, it feels like we can come up with anything. Well, is there any request of what to make?

Tatara: Hmm... clothes, I guess? Making clothes reduces their expenses.

Kuro: Clothes, huh? Making them takes quite a lot of time. Besides, appropriate fabrics are necessary... but, this fabric...

Reishi: How about we leave clothes for when our skills have improved, and make something easy this time?

Tatara: That’s right. I wonder what’s easy to make.

Kuro: How about a purse? It has straight lines, so it’s easy to use the machine for it.

Tatara: Alright~! Then it’s decided we’ll make purses! We’re in your care, Yatogami!

Reishi: Please take care of us.

Kuro: Yeah. I’m counting on you.

Reishi: *sigh*

Kuro: What’s wrong?

Reishi: The fabric’s fold moved. I’m trying to firmly hold it back, but... in any case, I couldn’t do it like Yatogami-kun from the start.

Kuro: No, I think it’s quite well-done, to the point one wouldn’t think you don’t normally sew.

Reishi: Thank you very much. Still, in the end, when I try to not let the fabric crease like paper, no matter what, the fold ends up shifting when I’m passing it through the machine.

Kuro: Hmph! Something useful for these kinds of times is... this.

Reishi: A needle... punch?

Kuro: Yeah. It has several functions as a perforator, but in this sort of situation, it’s used like this. You hold the fabric back with it, which is easier and better than doing so with your hand, and thanks to that, you can progress steadfastly with the machine.

Reishi: Hooh, true. If I have this, I feel I can do it appropriately.

Kuro: The needle punch can also reverse cloths that overturn and mark spots, so just one is already a priceless item.

Reishi: A single tool has many forms of usage depending on the situation. Sewing is something quite deep, isnt it?

Tatara: Yatogami, help!

Kuro: What is it?

Tatara: I made a mistake and pulled it to the point where the thread passes through, so I couldn’t properly take out the thread that I sewed with the machine.

Kuro: Ah, if that’s so, I have something just perfect... use this stitch ripper.

Tatara: “Stitch ripper”?

Kuro: You must grasp the thread with this part of it that is divided in two... like this.

Tatara: *gasp* Amazing! Lemme do it too! Whoa, the thread that I couldn’t remove at all even with tiny scissors is coming out smoothly! But, this is expensive, isn’t it?

Kuro: It’s usually 1500 yen. (more or less 15 dollars) If you get it now, it can be done for about half the price, 700 yen. Additionally, you get an extra one as a gift.

Tatara: Hehe. Yatogami, you’re in high spirits, huh?

Kuro: *gasp* That was an accidental conditioned reflex... Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching a lot of kitchenware programs lately?

Tatara: Thanks. I feel I can do it right with this.

Tatara: Done~!

Reishi: Thank you very much, Yatogami-kun. Thanks to you, I was able to have a productive time.

Tatara: Me too! To think I’d manage to make a purse that can actually be worn!

Kuro: I did nothing. These are the results of your efforts.

Tatara: No, no. We did it because we had Yatogami’s teachings. I wanna learn more again!

Reishi: So do I. If Yatogami-kun doesn’t mind it, why don’t we gather here regularly?

Tatara: That’s a great idea! Yatogami, how about it?

Kuro: All right! Working hard before anything during our days is a good thing. If you are okay with me, I’ll take the role of instructor.

[cell phone sounds]

Reishi: Ah, hello. Yatogami-kun? Can you speak on the phone at the moment? Yes, I’m calling to ask when we will hold the sewing lecture. My after-school time is completely free except for the day after tomorrow. Is that so? Then, let’s do it tomorrow. Eh? Let’s see... we made table mats last week, so tomorrow should be... that’s right, that’s right, about the table mats, last week, Fushimi-kun said to me, “What’s this enormous amount of table mats? Don’t waste the club budget.”, but when I told him that I had made it and not bought it, he made a face as if he had been caught by a fox spirit. Does that mean my workmanship got them close to normal products enough for him to make such an expression? Ah, I’m sorry. The topic deviated, didn’t it? Why don’t we make Totsuka-kun’s long-expected clothes? Lately, I’ve found good handicraft articles. If it’s at that place, they should sell clothes as well. How about the three of us go there tomorrow and return to the Home Economics club? Yes. Then we will be in your care tomorrow. I will be looking forward to it.

#k project #totsuka tatara #munakata reisi #munakata reishi #yatogami kuroh #yatogami kurou #k #gakuen k #wonderful school days #my translation

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midnight-in-town · 7 years

Note

Whenever you talk about Frances helping Ciel out it really gives me the image of a Jedi with their Padawan while Sebby just watches proudly (from afar, because unkempt bangs). JK but I really like the idea so here's to hoping what Sebby said to her will mean something.

LISTEN THO’ ANON, I really like your SW analogy but I’ve got so much to say on the subject that, for your own sake, you should probably never send me an ask like this.

I mean, look:

These two are the last two Phantomhives left (because I’m certainly not counting the twin who’s becoming a villain and who’s dead anyway) and they’re similar on many things, one of these things being losing close family because of the Watchdog duty.

Ciel lost his parents and his brother when he was 10 years old, even if we don’t know yet whether the murders were triggered by an investigation in particular or if the issue was directly with Vincent being the watchdog

And guess what? Frances lost her mom who was the Watchdog at the time (I strongly suspect it was also a murder but not canon for now) when she was barely older than Ciel was and then, she was way older but she lost her brother (and his family) too.

So Frances lacking a true purpose so far in the series (or so it seems), when she is the person most suited to understand how our!Ciel must feel, is really something I’ll always be salty about if it doesn’t change before long, especially when the current arc is forcing our Ciel to face his trauma (which hopefully means #development at the end).

But that’s not even all there is to it Anon, because Seb went there 10 years ago or so, you know? He literally said the foreshadowing words that I need Yana to completely illustrate in the story as soon as possible:

Because, guess what? Baby pup did trip.

During the curry arc, when he more or less sheltered Agni for his crimes

(might be why Agni and Soma were targeted recently?)

During the circus arc, when he burnt those children, which led to him lying to the Queen about his report

but the Queen found out and organized a murder party as a punishment (@ thanks Grey)

During the green witch arc, because he made sure that Sieglinde wouldn’t give or produce for the Queen anything like the SuLIN gas

and the current arc might or not [x] partially be the result of Victoria seeing through his lies about the SuLIN gas in ch108 and being fed up with him not being a very obedient doggy

But Seb said all this in ch14, which is to say before the curry arc even started, which means that he knew that Ciel would surely fuck up at some point because, despite acting like he’s the best chessmaster of the entire cast, the simple truth is… that he’s not. For now, Victoria is better than him, UT is better than him and I dare say that there might be more ready to strike (Lau?), while our!Ciel is left zoning out because he’s simply not good enough yet.

That’s why Seb said:

Because out of the last two Phantomhives left, Frances is more trained and accustomed to the Watchdog’s duty than Ciel currently is. It’s not a criticism towards Ciel, but just a fact since Frances is older and thus already went through what Ciel should have learnt with Vincent about the Watchdog’s duty, had he not died.

Frances is strong, has been for a long time and she was probably trained to be from early on, just like it happened with Lizzie a generation later. Frances also lost her mom when she was young but she probably supported her brother for several years anyway, until she got married, had kids and started training her children as well as her brother’s:

So there you have it, Seb said:

However…

Claudia, Vincent and Rachel died

the twin is dead and probably a villain, and anyway he probably knows less about the Watchdog’s duty than our!Ciel himself

Madam Red turned out to be insane and is dead

Soma knows nothing about the Watchdog duty, Sieglinde is too new

Ed is not supposed to be involved with the Phantomhive family and Lizzie is too young

Dee? Unfortunately too tsundere and awkward with advice -> see ch131 + he’s in Germany anyway

Lau? LMAO no way + MIA for almost two arcs

Finally, UT is too desperate and not likely to be the best person to learn from when it comes to the Watchdog duty, seeing as he is not fond of it

…which leaves only Frances (even if I could also add Tanaka since he’s been with the Phantomhive family for a long time) to learn from when it comes to how to survive as the Watchdog.

I know, I know, “Ciel wants revenge and he’s not going to have any future blah blah”, yeah yeah I agree, but really besides the Jack the ripper arc, I can’t say that the Queen seems very appreciative of his work (3 mistakes in one year with two that she caught on for sure)? So it sounds a tad ridiculous that, even though he’s helped by a demon, our!Ciel would have barely lasted 4 years when Vincent was the Watchdog for almost 20 years.

That’s how it goes, the Watchdogs have to learn the ways of the game (it’s like a different kind of chess and it’s not innate), otherwise they have a high risk of ending up dead (and we all know that, without Seb, Ciel would have died countless times already).

So you mentioned a Jedi, but Anon, Frances is not a random Jedi, she’s the master Yoda of Kuro, because she outlived her mom and her brother (even if, I know, she wasn’t the Watchdog directly; look at Rachel and Ann tho -> dead), but also mostly because she knows what it means and what it is like to be a Phantomhive.

Therefore I’m looking for #plot where Frances’ character is concerned. Unless it’s denied in canon, I will always strongly believe that she’s keeping an eye on her nephew through reports that Tanaka might send, as well as through allowing Lizzie to visit Ciel often so that he won’t be all alone with work or his quest for revenge.

I will also refuse to believe that she’s 100% condemned to be dealt with through plot convenience only, unless it unfortunately turns out to be canon every time. So for the current arc, I’m still hoping there is a reason (?) why she seems uninvolved with finding an explanation to Lizzie’s disappearance while still apparently stopping Ed from “helping” Ciel to get Lizzie back.

TL;DR were the words Seb said to Frances in ch14 just words or were they foreshadowing of Frances having a role to play towards Ciel and the plot?Well, that’s something I’ve been meaning to find out for over 4 years already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry for rambling, but asking me about Frances and Ciel generally makes me talkative, haha. I hope it made sense. :) Have a nice day!

#kuroshitsuji #frances midford #ciel phantomhive #vincent phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #claudia phantomhive #kuroshitsuji theory #anon #answers #phantomhive dynamics #u know *sigh* i wonder how frances feels about vincent's death #but like it's on my mind often #i'm convinced they had a really good sibling relationship #so if there is a link with claudia's death long ago and even if there isn't #is she angry? is she the type to want revenge for her family?#is she going to be the one who will actually compete against ciel to deprive him from his revenge because it was her family too?#even if just because she understands that it's what ciel wants and she doesn't want to let her bro's kid suffer more?#or is it all too complex as a layout for yana-sensei?#idk idk #i would be more confident about frances' character having a meaning #if yana didn't show before her overuse of plot convenience as well as her not managing quite well a large cast #most of her secondary characters are... not particularly developed #it's a story of ciel; seb; liz; ut #ah and of course victoria and her dudes #sometimes a little of soma and the other shinigamis but that's it #so is it because she has trouble managing a large cast or because it's all going to matter later and it's ok if she doesn't focus on em now #idk but i hope what's left of ciel's family will matter a great deal in the rest of the story #i should seriously stop rambling on the subject

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audriel · 7 years

Text

The fourth part of my KHR AU fic (1, 2, 3). Also posted in AO3. Initially I want to post this chapter for Kuroo’s birthday, but I struggle with it because I end up getting into Nekoma politics, and seriously, why can’t my muse make it easy for me?? It’s for the same reason that I cannot say that there’ll be less angst so... Warning: ANGST, lots of angst, brief description of anxiety attack, family politics, and Kenma kicking ass.

Last but not least, Happy late birthday, Kuroo!!

Blood loss and flame exhaustion.

That’s why Kuroo is not waking up even after receiving the best care under the ever watchful eyes of Yaku and Shibayama and in the safety of Nekoma compound.

Medically speaking, he’s on his way for full recovery. His vital signs are strong and his brain activity is normal. His blood work returns clean.

Yaku tried his best to explain Kuroo’s condition when he called for urgent family meeting. They might not have extensive medical knowledge like their resident physician and future certified medical doctor, but they knew enough from experience that three days were far too long to regain consciousness. Even after the most difficult surgeries and heavy sedation, there was always a brief moment of awakening before falling unconscious again. Kuroo didn’t.

He’s just... sleeping, or as close to it.

Yaku and Shibayama didn’t waste any time in performing all the tests they could think of, then turned the results over and sideways and asked for second opinion to no avail, until they went over the Nekoma medical records and stumbled upon the possibility of flame exhaustion. It is a rare condition for the Nekomas whose training heavily emphasizes control, so they very rarely exhaust their flames, regardless of the size of their reserves. They are also trained to recognize their limits, so they can train to push them without exhausting themselves. The records showed that the condition was and should be easily rectified by proper rest.

Tetsu... He drains himself dry, literally and metaphorically.

Kuroo shouldn’t be alive, he should have been dead the moment the bullet entered his body, with the speed it shattered and multiplied, especially when it hit so close to vital organs. There could only be one reason for his survival: he managed to use his Rain flame on the bullet... all the while fighting for his life without using his original flame. Yaku also suspected that Kuroo turned on his foresight throughout the fight. While it was not draining his flames--considering it was a natural ability of Sky flames, it gave him double vision which would also take concentration for him to separate the future possibilities and reality.

There’s nothing much we can do but wait.

The ensuing silence was unbearable. Kuroo could be terrifyingly cold and detached in his decision making that he never placed his life of higher importance than others’. It was a trait that his family both loved and hated in equal measure. Kuroo was not careless with his life, his family extracted that promise from him, but he would and could not promise to choose himself over the lives he could save. It felt like a paltry promise back then, but seeing how hard Kuroo fought to keep that promise, to survive...

Kenma cannot stay any longer in the room, leaving an illusion of himself in his place to keep the others from noticing. He stumbles out to the hallways, his breathing short and quick. He tries to slow his breathing, he tries to count up and down, he tries everything but nothing works. It has been so long since it was this bad. He has learned to recognize the signs and remove himself before it turns into a full-fledged attack, or Kuroo does it for him. But Kuroo is...

Kuroo... who is lying pale and lifeless on the infirmary bed surrounded by machines... whose flames are so faint and flickering... That Kuroo is not Kuroo. That Kuroo is not his Kuroo, his first and best friend, his brother, his leader. That is-that is not-

The distressing thought does no favor to his condition as his breathing gets worse. Kenma clutches his chest, trying vainly to slow his breathing as he flounders aimlessly. His head feels light, his vision narrow.

Hey, hey. Breathe with me. You’re okay. You’re okay. Suddenly Kenma is seeing young Kuroo crouched in front of him, eyes wide and concerned for a child he had just met. His young self had inched away in surprise at the strange child’s appearance who had managed to see past his Mist illusion.

He never dealt well with children around his age, more so with strangers, and yet despite his initial surprise and suspicion, he found himself drawn to the boy and the outstretched hand.

Kenma had always been able to sense flames, he could feel the slightest change in them and shape them into his liking. It came to him as easy as breathing. He cared not for the clamor and praise that came with it. He cared only for the respite and knowledge he was granted. He cared only for the ability to hide and to tell whom to trust. Kuroo burned with flames that he had never seen before, bright against the darker flames of Mist and warm against the cool indifference of Nekoma.

He finds himself reaching out... and trips face-first on something soft. In his surprise he breathes in, familiar scent and warmth assaulting his senses. He knows this scent, he knows this warmth. He grapples blindly, opening his palm and stretching his fingers to feel. He knows these sheets, these pillows and these blankets thrown haphazardly over large mattress. He doesn’t need to look around to know where he finds himself in.

Kuroo’s bedroom. Kuroo’s bed. Kenma’s and Nekoma’s safe haven.

Since their early acquaintance, Kuroo had made himself available for Kenma. He learned not to lock his doors and grew used to Kenma sneaking into his room and making himself comfortable. However as they ventured deeper and further to the family business, Kenma was becoming not the only one needing comfort and finding their way into Kuroo’s room. After witnessing and experiencing the worst the world could offer, it was not unusual for the family to spend the night together. When Kuroo finally claimed the boss’ quarters, he didn’t bother with proper bed and brought in the widest, thinnest, and most comfortable mattress, covered it with the softest sheets and thrown as many pillows and blankets over it.

Kenma can sense traces of himself and his family between the sheets. He can feel the lingering emotion and memories left among the pillows and blankets, the good and the bad. But most of all, he can feel him, suffusing the bed and the room with his warmth and kindness, with his patience and understanding, with his love and loyalty for his family. Something inside him flickers insistently, as though telling him to pay attention and so Kenma follows, tumbling down and falling deep into himself.

He finds his flame easily, burning indigo-bright. However, there’s another flame, smaller and weaker, but no less bright or warm. Kenma finds himself cradling the orange flame protectively to his chest. He cannot forget how it feels when the light and warmth that he doesn’t know have always been there suddenly are gone, leaving him cold and empty and blind in the dark. He cannot forget the agonizing moments when all of them could only stand still, refusing to believe what they all felt, refusing to mourn and grieve, with nothing they could do but hope and pray and beg that when the light and warmth finally returned they could barely believe it. He cannot forget how they cried, they yelled, and they cried some more. Kuroo was gone, but he was back. He was back.

The flame seems to burn brighter at this realization, sending pulsating warmth throughout his body. It feels familiar, it feels like...

Breathe, Kenma. Breathe. I am here. I am going nowhere.

Kenma finds himself matching his breathing with every pulse, and slowly, surely it evens out. For a while, Kenma lays there, just breathing, letting Kuroo’s presence surround him. However, his analytical mind cannot truly rest, slowly gathering together all the pieces from all his knowledge and observation, but two facts stand out the most in his mind: Kuroo is weak and vulnerable, and he is easy prey to those who want him dead.

Kuro is in danger.

Cat-like eyes snaps open in the dark, bright and sharp. Kenma might not be as dedicated and passionate as others, he has a tendency to shy away from duty and responsibility, but he has given his pledge and loyalty to Kuroo. He has chosen Kuroo. Kuroo and the family he made for himself are and will always be his top priority. If there’s anything that can make him take action, it’s Kuroo and their self-made family. Mind whirling with projections and calculations with such speed and accuracy, emotions set aside and discarded with such ease that makes him valued and considered as the next Nekoma boss, Kenma knows that he cannot act without knowing more information.

He traverses the dark room with ease and familiarity towards the wall on the side of the room. All the rooms in the family quarters are highly secured, because it uses a combination of biological and flame signature. However, one room takes it further by using flame pattern as its lock, which can only be opened by someone who knows the pattern and has the control needed to make the pattern with their flame. It’s a room that can only be opened by Kuroo, and Kenma as his right-hand man.

The lights turns on the moment he steps into the private study of the Nekoma boss. All sides of the room are crammed with information in various forms, from the traditional paper archives to modern digital archives, all but one side that is at the opposite of the grand wooden table with documents and stationary strewn over that has multiple screens mounted on it. In the middle there is interactive table that is not dissimilar with the one they have in the conference room, and its hologram is surprisingly active.

Kenma doesn’t think twice to approach the table and looks over the hovering images of boxes that are intertwined with each other with multiple lines so massive that it almost takes the whole room. Kenma picks one box at random and is wholly unprepared when a familiar voice rings out.

“Vision number 1283-”

The boxes are the detailed accounts of the future Kuroo has seen. Some futures appear only once, some appear frequently. Some change with time, some don’t. Some are clear, some are not. Kuroo managed to organize them into somewhat coherent manner, grouping together similar visions and then arranging them in a timeline. In every account there is a thorough analysis of what he has seen, deciphering what it means, whether it’s a constant or a changeable future, whether it’s part of action and consequence, or completely unrelated, whether the people and the event have any significance.

It is a time-consuming and meticulous work, not mentioning how large and complex it is. Kuroo is thinking more just than the future, he is thinking of the ripples on the pond, of the making of waves. Kenma is capable of seeing the future based on the present and making plans for it accordingly, but this... this is something else. Every person, every action is accounted for, so are their roles and their impact to the future. Kenma is sure that lines should be more convoluted than this but Kuroo has worked through them, removing the uncertain futures and directing them to a more favorable and controllable outcome so that what is left is a tangled mess that Kenma can still follow. It helps that Kuroo also recorded his musings so he can see where he’s coming from.

Kuroo plays out various scenarios, adjusting it accordingly with every change in reality and in foresight until he has narrowed it down into the most plausible scenarios and make plans of action based on them. He scraps the worst of the plans marking it down as unacceptable outcome and keeps the best of them by marking it down as acceptable outcome.

Acceptable outcome.

Kenma’s breathing hitches when he reads the plan. The plan that would have the least consequences, the least casualty: himself.

Acceptable outcome.

The world goes red and when he comes to, Kenma finds himself curled in the corner, the room completely dark but for the screens, flickering in and out, some are cracked. Things are scattered all over the room as though a whirlwind has come and upended everything inside. However, the interactive table somehow remains untouched with its tangled boxes hovering in the air, blocked by a figure reading through the page that he has left open. Kenma watches silently and knows the exact moment when Yaku finishes because he recognizes the unadulterated rage crossing his features.

“It’s my fault.” Kenma finds himself speaking out, catching the Sun guardian’s attention whose expression morphs into concern when he sees him. Yaku kneels down in front of him, careful to keep his distance.

“Why?“ It speaks how well Yaku understands Kenma that instead going for reassurance, he goes for clarification.

“I should have been the boss. I shouldn’t have run away. I shouldn’t have Kuroo shouldered the burden that is not his to bear.“ Once he starts, Kenma can’t seem to stop. “The council didn’t want him, Mori. They wanted Mist boss, even after they found out that he had Sky flame.”

Kenma sees understanding dawns in Yaku’s eyes, the pieces falling into place to make the complete puzzle of one Kuroo Tetsurou. Why Kuroo doesn’t think much of himself despite all of his achievements, why Kuroo insists of using the Mist aspect of his Sky flames, why Kuroo’s backup plans tend to put Kenma in the center, why Kuroo rarely sends Kenma out to the field unless necessary.

Yaku leans back on his heels as though he is struck, the look on his face is of great incredulity.

“A placeholder? All this time?” Yaku looks like he wants to cry and curse and yell, so does Kenma. He should have realized. He should have known better. Kuroo cares too much. He has too much heart. He always wants the best for others, but he rarely, if ever, considers himself. He is his very own and only blind spot.

It should be his duty and responsibility not only as his right hand but also his friend and confidant to make Kuroo see. That he has been the best leader Nekoma can ask for, more than Kenma can ever be.

Kenma presses hard the heels of his hand to his eyes. Kuroo needs time to rest and recover, time he might not have if Kenma wastes his time to wallow in guilt. Kenma stands up, taking Yaku by surprise.

“Yaku.“ Yaku snaps to attention at the change of address. “Call for an emergency meeting in an hour. Attendance is mandatory. Lateness, furthermore, absence, will not be tolerated.“

It takes a moment for the Sun guardian to respond, barely recognizing the younger man before him. Kenma doesn’t look away, doesn’t duck and hide. He meets his gaze straight on. Kenma is dead serious. He won’t accept any excuses. He will have them in the meeting one way or another.

This is Kenma the right-hand man of Nekoma.

Yaku smiles grimly as he stands up, nodding his head. “Consider it done.“

Kenma’s gaze follows Yaku until he’s out of sight, knowing with certainty that he will have all the inner circle along with council members and family representatives in the meeting. He walks towards the interactive table, briefly hesitating before opening up the backup plan Kuroo left behind in the event of his death. As he skims through the plan laid out before him, he understands why Kuroo made the request. He knew he was asking much from them to remain calm and neutral when all they want is to raze the bastards to the ground, because the best outcome hinges on it. Although Kenma has a feeling that Kuroo underestimate how much.

Before he knows it, an hour has passed. Kenma steps into the conference room with Yaku and Kai at his immediate right and left, the rest of the inner circle at their sides and back, giving him the support that he doesn’t realize he needs as he is greeted by the full ensemble of Nekoma’s council members and family representatives standing around the large conference table whose gaze immediately trained on them. Kenma knows Kuroo’s absence doesn’t escape their notice despite their best attempts to hide their alarm especially when he takes his place next to seat at the head of the table. Only the Nekoma boss has the power to call for emergency meeting. And yet, he is not here. Hush falls over the room, which doesn’t help his nerves. Kenma tries not to fidget as he grapples to say something.

“Please be seated.” Kai, bless ever reliable Kai, takes care the formalities so Kenma has less one thing to worry about. Everyone takes their seat, all but Kenma, who cannot find it in himself to sit in Kuroo’s place so he remains standing next to the empty seat.

Kenma breathes in and out, drawing strength from the flame inside him that belong to Kuroo.

For Kuroo.

“Three days ago, we met up with Karasuno to discuss the details of truce arrangement between both of the families. We were represented by Kuroo, Yaku and Kai, and Karasuno was represented by Sawamura, Sugawara and Azumane. It was supposed to be a highly classified meeting with with only few people in the know. And yet, we were attacked.” Kenma pauses as much to let the news sink in as to give himself time.

“We were outnumbered and overpowered. We managed to escape, but Kuroo... Kuroo was hit by Cloud fragmented bullet.” Shock ripples throughout the room. This is the gathering of the most brilliant minds in Nekoma, they are fully aware of the significance and the consequence of the action. Before they arrive to the wrong conclusion, Yaku is quick to step in.

“Kuroo is alive.” The Sun guardians stares them down, daring them to question his words. “However, he suffers from blood loss and flame exhaustion. We don’t know when he will regain consciousness.” Kenma watches everyone’s reaction carefully.

“This is concerning.” Nekomata speaks up. “This is not just simply another assassination attempt. Do you have any suspects?”

“We do, but we do not have sufficient evidence.” All Nekoma in the room catch on to the underlying meaning. Only few people outside the inner circle know about Kuroo’s foresight, but they all know the infamous Sky intuition and has seen it in action that they are willing to set aside their skepticism and follow the plans based on it so long they are ironclad. It will be so easy to give them names and have all Nekoma go after them. But that’s not what Kuroo wants, or what he needs.

"So what would you do?” Kenma cannot quite quell his trepidation when he hears that voice. It is the head of the council himself, Hyou Sakaki. Hyou is among the few of the older generation that remain in the council and representatives. He is a traditionalist, or the closest equivalent to it, in flexible and adaptable Nekoma, because however much Nekoma changes, their core values must and should not change. It is why he is elected as the head of the council, to be the foil of Nekomata, and later Kuroo who are the radicals of Nekoma. He is firm and unyielding as required by his position. He is Nekoma’s harshest critic and devil’s advocate.

Kenma doesn’t have pleasant memory of the man, despite having him as his main supporter for the succession because it meant the elder demanded more from him. Hyou wanted more traditionalist and less radical leader for Nekoma. While he can think out of the box, Kenma does favor the more proven and tested approach and is content with status quo, unlike Kuroo who is more willing to take risks especially with his intuition and challenge the status quo. Hyou doesn’t hide his disappointment when Kenma chose to give up his position as the successor and his disapproval whenever Kuroo showed his radical inclination. Regardless, he has sway over the family, and Kenma needs his support with his plan. He cannot show any weakness.

“We’re executing Plan D. Nekoma will go to ground.”

The declaration is met by surprise and disbelief. Of all orders Plan D is the last order Kenma is expected to give, because it is not a simple matter of staying quiet and under the radar. It is a complete withdrawal of Nekoma presence in the mafia world with the exception of the people and business to which their association to Nekoma are not known. It is an extreme measure that is meant for the direst situation.

“Do you know what you’re asking?” Hyou narrows his eyes at Kenma. “You are asking for all of our businesses to be closed down and stop operating. You are asking for a recall and reassignment of our people. You are asking for a major undertaking that is going to cost us the longer it is in motion.”

“Yes. I do know.” Kenma doesn’t back off, signaling his seriousness in the matter.

“Then why?” Naoi asks.

“They’ve gone this far to kill Kuroo. They won’t stop until he’s dead. The way he is now, Kuroo is an easy target. Any other course of action, any other plan, will put him at risk.”

“So you’re putting the safety of one person above the family?” Kuga Haruka--the second most influential person in the council--inquires, an elegant eyebrow raised.

Kenma can sense the rest of the family bristling around him, taking offense in the council member’s words, but it serves to center him instead. Finding his courage, Kenma straightens his spine and meets the gaze of every single person in the room.

“No. Because Kuroo is Nekoma, and Nekoma is Kuroo.”

The moment the words come out from his mouth, he realizes how true they are, and he is not the only one with how he stunned them speechless. It’s ironic, in his attempt to make Nekoma free and independent from inside and outside reliance, Kuroo becomes an irreplaceable figure himself. Nekoma will carry on without him, but it won’t be Nekoma anymore. Kuroo is not just Nekoma’s leader, he is their heart and soul. It is why the council was so against of having him as the successor to Nekomata, because Kuroo inspired steadfast love and devotion in the coldest and most rational of Nekoma. It was dangerous for Nekoma that placed mind above heart, rationality above intuition.

“Any objections for implementing Plan D?” Kuga asks the room at large.

And they are right. Because against all rational thought, none of them raise objections, not even Hyou himself. ithout a shred of doubt and hesitation, they all come to an agreement. The decision is unanimous.

“We shall proceed with Plan D. You have our full support.” Hyou concludes.

Kenma should feel relieved, but all he can feel is sadness.

Can’t you see how much you are loved, Kuro? Kenma clenches his hand, his gaze sharp and determined. Wake up, and we’ll show you.

#fanfic #fanfiction #khr au #nekoma #kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #yaku morisuke #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#katekyou hitman reborn

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gio-hannigram · 7 years

Text

Dark Shadow

“What’s wrong?” He had not noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks until Lily asked.

And he didn’t know how to tell him so he just nodded trusting that Lily would follow his eyes. The gasp Lily left out meant he saw and no words were needed from him.

“Probably they are just talking about why Sakuya left him out of nowhere suddenly?”

“Look again.” Lily’s nails sunk on his arm’s skin and Kuro didn’t bother to tell him to pull back, the pain was a reminder that this was reality and that he had to accept it.

“Mahiru has tears while they kiss how dramatic,” Kuro said and it was not the kiss what made the knife rip dipper through his chest, but those tears. Mahiru would never feel with him that much, miss him that much, love him that much.

They were supposed to have been helping in the kitchen, after all it had been Mahiru who offered them both to help Lily with the party not him. So when Mahiru had gone missing for more than twenty minutes Kuro had made the mistake to look for him.

A stig in his chest followed by a bolt of electricity making his body freeze were the reactions he got when his eyes laid on the pair, first because they were discussing, and then because they were kissing.

Kuro was not a fool he had always known that Mahiru had that “true love lost” sickness, sometimes he wondered why he made this to himself, the answer of course was that in truth he was a fool.

Kuro and Lily walked back into the kitchen and sat down. Lily didn’t know what to do, Kuro was not someone to show his feeling let alone talk about them, he didn’t know if his comfort would help or make it worst.

“I’m sorry, I know you were already working on the menu for the wedding.” Kuro said, and he sounded so utterly miserable that Lily risked a hug. “I have no problem with it, but don’t you think you’re rushing conclusions, they were lovers once and things didn’t end well between them, maybe it was a goodbye moment, he is Mahiru’s past but you are the present, you two are engaged. I’m sure Mahiru loves you. He wouldn’t have accepted otherwise.”

“You don’t understand,” Kuro’s stare got astray and Lily gave him a moment. “It won’t change and it won’t matter. Mahiru has that thing… he is his love and it has never really become his past. There were moments in which he would say things like “Sakuya would…” I never called him out in the comparing comments, I would changed the conversation. Maybe it was because deep down I knew that if I did and it turned into a fight I would see, I didn’t want to hear it. A part of me always felt that if I didn’t hear it I could avoid seeing how much he still felt for Sakuya.” Kuro finished looking lost and angry. Lily was shocked, it was incredibly rare and he could count with his fingers all the times where Sleepy Ash had spoken that much. It only made his heart hurt for his brother more, it spoke volumes of how much pain he was in.

Not that it was a surprise, all the servamps and their eves had seen how in love the Servamp of Sloth was with Mahiru, it had never happened before. Sleepy Ash had showed feelings for his other masters, yes, but he never had acted on them; what he had done with Mahiru, not only the engagement but the fact alone that he had started a relationship with him had been a deep shock for all the brothers and their sister.

“Even if it was a goodbye kiss, I saw how much he misses Sakuya. And I have been avoiding for so long to question myself if I’m really okay with being just the nail to cover where the other stood. It’s just…” Lily gave him time and while Kuro looked at the ground he wondered if he should or not warn him that Mahiru was listening, somehow Lily decided that maybe it was for the best not to. “It hurts more each time, it’s like waking up suddenly in the middle of daydream...those moments when I remember...it’s just like a bothersome stig in my chest that freezes me in the middle of the day with cold water reminding me that it doesn’t matter how much I do, how I change, how much I love him. Sakuya’s shadow is always there, just pointing out that deep down if it could be, if it was possible, he rather Sakuya was wherever I was standing at the moment.”

“Mahiru loves you.” Lily said, looking Mahiru in the eyes as he stood in the dark in the little space of the door ajar.

“Yeah,” Kuro chuckled, followed by a pitiful hiccup. “But, at the end of the day...what does that matter?”

“It matters.” Mahiru said stepping inside. Kuro rose his sight to him and gave him a small smile, which made Mahiru stop walking towards him, not believing what he was seeing.

“Did he leave?” The and you finally remembered me was clear enough by the smile alone.

“Yes, I told him to.” Mahiru answered.

“You shouldn’t have.”

Before a more dangerous argument broke off, Lily told Mahiru to please leave him to talk with his brother, it took some convincing but eventually Mahiru understood that everything was too raw for him to go and try to apologize while Kuro’s wound was fresh and wouldn’t see reason.

“Brother...”

“It is just there in the back of my mind. I thought that I could...change it, that with time… but, well, you saw too.”

“Then what? You can break the engagement but Mahiru is still your Eve, you can’t just disappear.”

“What a pain,” Kuro looked at the empty space where Mahiru had been, “I can’t deal with it.” he had never meant those words as much as he did now. “The war is over, and Sakuya can take care of him from Tsubaki anyway.”

“You can’t mean that you would…”

“Bastar-chan’s brother knows how to break the contract, “ Kuro left out a heavy sigh, “it is for the best, Mahiru can go back with Sakuya now that he’s back and I can go back to be a lazy cat in some far away alley...everyone will be happy.”

Lily freaked out, Sleepy Ash would not only leave, he would disappear in such a way that nobody would know about him again until Mahiru’s lifespan has long ended.

Lily tried to talk him out of it, but the most he got after many minutes was an I’ll think about it in the way home-to Mahiru’s house.

After Sleepy Ash left Lily searched for Mahiru for while and found him up the rooftop with none other than Sakuya.

Lily had never been one to seek or enjoy violence but he could barely hold himself from wishing sweet dreams to Sakuya.

“I thought you told him to leave.” Lily said, making Mahiru yelp in surprise.

“We were only talking.” Mahiru answered, Lily didn’t pay any attention to Sakuya and walked to the edge of the rooftop followed by Mahiru.

“I’ll make Kuro understand,” Mahiru was cut by Lily pointing down the street, down in the dark pavement Kuro was taking a bus to Mahiru’s. Of course, even from that far Mahiru could see his misery.

“I advise you to think very well what you truly feel, don’t get near him until you are truly sure of it.” Mahiru had never heard Lily be so cold and threatening.

“I am sure!” Mahiru said loudly.

“He is thinking of breaking your contract.” Lily stared waiting for his reaction which was turning and running off.

Sakuya looked him go, but there was curiosity in his eyes not just pain.

“If he breaks his contract…” Sakuya was cut by Lily’s summoned large scythe.

By the time Mahiru arrived home, Kuro was nowhere to be seen, however his bell rested along with a note in the breakfast table.

This is all you’ll need, talk with Jeje’s eve, he knows how to break it.

Have a good life Mahi.

Two weeks passed by with Mahiru searching everywhere, each dark alley he passed by rose and broke his hopes. He didn’t ask help from any of the other Servamps, he had to find Kuro himself. But as the days weared off his hope wavered.

Two weeks later he found himself walking towards Mikuni’s shop, tears rolling down his cheeks at the thought that maybe that small obscure miserable figure at the bus stop was going to be the last image of Kuro he would have.

Unbeta, I am really sorry for the mistakes!

I'm not one for Sakumahi, but after reading this amazing work, a song fic of “When I was Your Man” my writer block left off.

And so here we are. I might have projected a bit. Anyway I love angst so hope you like it too.

#servamp #kuromahi #sakumahi #sakuya watanuki #kuro #sleepy ash #snow lily #pokeluv101

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kaen-ace-of-diamonds · 7 years

Text

The Lion and the Wolf

[AO3] [FF.Net]

Word Count: 19,000+ (oneshot)

Genre: Family/Horror

Pairings: Arba/Ren Gyokuen, Ren Gyokuen/Ren Hakutoku.

Characters: Arba, Ren Gyokuen, Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Hakuei, Ren Hakuyuu, Ren Hakuren, Ren Hakutoku, Judal, Ithnan, Falan, Ren Gyokuen’s siblings (OCs).

Summary: In which not all of Arba's children are innocent, and being possessed doesn't necessarily make you a helpless victim.

Warnings for incest, physical and emotional abuse, descriptions of child murders, violence, manipulative/possessive behavior, and Arba and Gyokuen’s A+ parenting and general creepiness.

~0~

“The wolf, he howls, the lion does roar; the wolf lets him in

The lion runs in through the door, the real fun begins

As they both rush upon you and rip open your flesh,

The lion eats his fill and then the wolf cleans up the mess.”

- The Lion and the Wolf, Thrice

~0~

It’s only a couple months after the fire that Arba remembers that she ought to tell her older daughter how their plan played out.

That night, alone in her bed, she closes her eyes and lets herself sink down, deep into the depths of her shared consciousness. She looks around at the smooth obsidian field, shivering a little at the cold on her skin, and calls for her child. “Gyokuen? Wake up, love. I want to talk to you.”

A moment later, on cue, Ren Gyokuen strides out from the black mist surrounding them, and smiles when she sees the other woman. “Hello, Mother.”

“Hello, darling. About two months have passed since we last talked, I hope you don’t mind that I waited this long to fill you in on everything.”

Gyokuen shrugs. “Two months, two weeks, two days, it’s all the same to me now. I assume everything went well, then?”

“Everything went excellently. Hakuei ran out of the fire a little worse for wear, but she healed up quickly and now she's good as new. The biggest problem I had with her was getting her to just stop crying already. Hakuryuu’s been in a coma for the past months, and he’s awake now, but he’ll have scars all over him for the rest of his life.”

“Will he? Poor little thing.”

“Indeed. But most importantly, Hakuyuu and Hakuren are out of our way for good. You're sure you're not upset?”

“No. You were the magnanimous one, after all, and it was their choice to reject us. Like I said before, it's their own fault for not being more like me. Now, more importantly, are you sure you covered our tracks? No one suspects that it was anything more than an accident?”

Arba smiles and shakes her head. “Not exactly, but - Don’t give me that face, you’ll love this part! Before the fire could kill him, Hakuyuu managed to tell Hakuryuu exactly who wanted them dead, and Hakuryuu didn’t believe him.”

“You’re joking.”

“I don’t joke, love. It took him quite a while to work up the courage to come ask me about it, but eventually he did. You should have seen him, he came up to me with this nervous little smile and said - ” She starts to mimic her son’s small, squeaky voice. “‘It’s a lie, isn’t it, Mother? That you were trying to murder us? It was all Uncle’s fault, right? I’m sure aniue was just confused and trying to tell me something else.’ He’s such a sweet boy, he genuinely thought I was completely innocent!”

“Well, it’s not all that surprising. I of all people can tell you that the love of a child for their mother is not easily swa - ” Gyokuen’s words catch in her throat as Arba’s fully register with her. “Wait a minute. What do you mean, he thought we were innocent? As in, he doesn’t think that anymore?”

“Oh, no, far from it,” Arba says, her voice overly bright. “I told him everything!”

The look of wide-eyed shock on Gyokuen’s face is almost as good as the one on Hakuryuu’s, Arba thinks. “You...You did what?!”

“Well, not everything, of course. He still doesn't know anything of why I do what I do. I just let him know beyond any shadow of a doubt that first, I killed his family; second, I’m going to get away with it; and finally, there's not a single thing he can do about it. He must feel so terribly betrayed, considering he glares at me now like he wants to take my head off. Though, considering he's only six, it's more funny than threatening. He looks like a rabid kitten.”

Gyokuen still stares at her mother, gaping like a fish as she tries to make her mouth work. “You didn’t...We’re really...Are you...?” she sputters, before finding her voice again and deciding on, “Have you lost your mind?!”

“That’s been a topic of discussion from time to time, yes.”

“Stop being so calm! You said we were in the clear; we still would be if you hadn’t spontaneously decided to ruin everything! Why did you do that?!”

Arba smirks. “Who knows? Maybe I just wanted to see the look on his face when I tore down everything he thought he knew about his life.”

“You just wanted to - Mother, I understand, but even I know that there’s a time and a place for those things!” Gyokuen shouts, raking her fingers through her hair in frustration. (Arba, for her part, watches with some interest; she can count on one hand the number of times she's seen her daughter get this worked up over something.) “And something as important as this is neither the time nor the place to fool around! You said it yourself, Hakuryuu didn’t want to believe it was us! He was trying to get you to agree with him, to say, No, you’re right, it wasn’t me, so why didn’t you just tell him what he wanted to hear and be done with it?!”

“Oh?” Arba tilts her head curiously, as if the possibility hadn’t occurred to her. “That probably would have worked on him, wouldn’t it?”

Gyokuen looks as if she's about to have a heart attack. “Of course it would have! He’s six! He loves us, he doesn't know any better! He’ll believe anything we say! Or at least he would have, when he still trusted us! He’s our son, so he had potential, but now we’ll never be able to use him for anything. And that's all that will happen if we’re lucky. You know how he is; every time he's scared or upset, he runs to somebody else for help. What if he tells someone? What if they believe him?”

Arba waves her hand dismissively. “He won't. Like you just said, he's young and afraid and painfully vulnerable, so it will be easy to convince him to keep his mouth shut. Luck has nothing to do with it. Honestly, you’re overreacting,” she adds, and gives her daughter a conspiratorial smile. “You used to be very good at keeping your little sisters quiet, weren’t you? You started early, too, and you trained them to keep secrets very well.”

But unusually, Gyokuen brushes off her mother’s flattery, narrowing her eyes instead. “That’s different. An and Kuro knew we weren’t what we pretended to be, yes. They knew we were dangerous, that we could hurt them if we wanted, and that we may or may not have been planning something bad. But that was all they knew. They couldn’t say anything because they had no idea what they would say to make someone else realize there was a serious problem, and they wouldn’t have any proof to back it up if they did. The worst I ever did was taunt An about what I might have done or wanted to do.”

Arba raises an eyebrow skeptically, her smile fading. “You’re really going to look me in the face and tell me that that’s the worst thing you ever did to Ankoku?”

“That’s irrelevant,” Gyokuen sighs. “My point is, I was careful. I was good at keeping to the rules. I never threw caution to the winds and endangered our life! Has a thousand years without any real obstacles turned you complacent, Mother?”

“You watch your tone. You know perfectly well that I am far from complacent. Don’t assume that I’m doing this thoughtlessly.”

“And why not? Was there something else I was supposed to take from your little performance, or - ”

“I said, watch yourself,” Arba snaps, and has the satisfaction of seeing her daughter immediately shut her mouth and take a small step back, the aggression disappearing from her stance. Good. Gyokuen has always been her most well-behaved child, and even if this outburst is anything but rebellious, Arba does not like the unfamiliar defiance that edges her voice. “Remember your place, my love.”

“You make it impossible to forget. But even so, I just wish you’d consulted me sooner. I’m here to help you; I should think that you would remember that instead of ignoring me. Especially after I've so graciously allowed you into my body,” she adds, crossing her arms and pointedly looking away.

Arba smirks, leaning forward with her hands on her hips. “So what are you going to do? Throw me out?”

“Of course not, after all the trouble I went through to get you into me in the first place. But I take it you really don't intend to solve this problem the way I solved that one?”

“No,” Arba says, straightening up. “For now, Hakuryuu will be allowed to live. Because you’re wrong when you say that we can't use him for anything. He's only known for a few days, but just picture how the rest of his life is going to go. His fear for his and his sister’s lives, his rage and despair over being too weak to change anything, and most importantly, his hatred for me...Those feelings will build and build over the years to come, with no sufficient outlet, until they’re tearing him apart from the inside out. That is a fate that anyone would curse, and even one more person in this world who's fallen into depravity benefits me. That is why I did it. Does that satisfy you?”

“...I suppose it does,” Gyokuen admits. “And if that doesn't happen?”

“Well, then.” Arba’s bright smile returns to her face. “He'll at least make a decent plaything, won't he? Telling him the truth was the most fun I’ve ever had with him. And when your siblings were alive, it was nice to have somebody you didn't have to pretend in front of, wasn't it?”

“If you say so,” Gyokuen concedes. Trying to fight her mother is a pointless effort, even for her.

“I'm glad you can agree. There's nothing to be afraid of, love. Haven't I always taken care of everything?”

“You have.” She can't deny that, she reasons. “If it's all right with you, I'm going back now. This is tiring me out.”

“That's all right,” Arba allows as her daughter turns and walks back into the mist surrounding them. “I'll wake you again soon.”

Gyokuen stops, takes another deep breath, and looks over her shoulder at her mother. “I'll just say this: I only hope you know what you're doing. This had better not backfire on us because you got overconfident.”

Arba’s smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. “How cute, that you think that you give the orders around here.”

“That’s not what I - !” Gyokuen grits her teeth and turns away again. “Just...Be careful. And remember that I’m here. That’s all I ask.”

Without waiting for a response, she disappears fully into the mist. Arba’s smile doesn’t falter; her child will come around sooner or later. On the rare occasions Gyokuen seriously disagrees with her, it doesn’t last long. Or if it does, nothing will come of it, if Arba says and does the right things to calm her. To her immense delight, she’s discovered while raising her favorite daughter that a lifetime’s worth of careful conditioning is completely unshakeable.

This task out of the way, Arba closes her eyes and relaxes, quickly losing herself to sleep. Both mother and daughter will rest now; there is always more to do tomorrow.

~0~

‘I wonder,’ Arba asks her daughter teasingly, as she makes her way through the halls of the palace after a morning meeting with her priests. ‘Would it be possible, just once, for you to see Ithnan without insulting him? One would think you'd tire of that by now.’

At the back of their shared mind, Gyokuen laughs. ‘It isn't as if he can hear me. I would think that you'd just be relieved that we don't have the time to bicker any more.’

‘Of course. It was amusing while it lasted, but you’re not a child anymore. And -’

Noticing something as she starts to turn the corner, Arba stops and takes a step back.

‘And speaking of children, would you like to have a look at ours?’

‘What? Let me see!’

Paying more attention to the outside, Gyokuen follows their gaze around the corner. In the adjacent hall, Hakuei and Hakuryuu are there, at the wrong angle and too caught up in whatever they’re talking about to notice their mother. While Hakuei is talking animatedly, Hakuryuu’s smile is tight. They have come in at the end of the pair’s conversation, it seems: before long, Hakuei is bidding her brother goodbye and starting to leave, but she stops just before turning the other corner.

“Hakuryuu, are you sure you're okay? There's nothing else that's bothering you?”

Hakuryuu shook his head. “No, aneue, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“You know you can talk to me if anything’s wrong, don't you?”

“I know,” Hakuryuu says, his smile widening. “Go on, you're going to be late to your lesson.”

“All right - I'll see you later!”

As soon as his sister is out of sight, the smile drops from Hakuryuu’s face. He stands still, looking where she had been with a torn expression, as if he’s grappling with some decision. If it were up to Gyokuen, she would narrow their eyes.

‘He had better not be thinking about what I think he’s thinking about.’

‘Don’t twist your tongue, love. I told you, he won’t tell her a thing, even if he considers it.’

‘Not good enough. Allowing even that thought will give it room to grow, especially if he thinks he can pass under our notice. Hakuei isn’t important, but do you think she’s the only one he’s considered saying something to?’

‘Hm...I suppose I see your point. Did you want to do something about it?’

‘I could give it a try. You had a point, too, about how I used to handle my sisters. Switch out?’

‘Very well, we’ll switch, but remember what I told you. Don’t do anything foolish.’

‘Of course. Thank you, Mother.’

The exchange lasts only a few seconds - mental conversations are so much faster and more convenient than spoken ones, she’s found - and as soon as it’s over, Gyokuen feels herself in control of their body again. It never feels quite the same as it did before; she can still sense Arba’s presence, silent but watchful, at the back of their mind. She lets her consciousness go dormant often, but her mother only rarely does the same. But it’s all right. This is what she wanted, after all: to merge the two of them into one. And her mother’s advice in her head is always welcome.

She doesn’t think she’ll need it quite yet, though. Hakuryuu isn’t very far away, but his back is to her, and she happens to be very good at moving without making a sound. (Her younger siblings had been decent practice: Surprisingly, little Kuroko had managed to either always see her coming or never react, but Enshan and Ankoku had never gotten used to her seemingly materializing out of nowhere next to them, and seeing the looks on their faces when she did was so satisfying.) She takes three long, careful strides forward, leans down, and sweeps Hakuryuu up into her arms.

He cries out at being suddenly grabbed, and starts struggling, but she holds him tightly to her and hushes him.

“Shh, now, don’t squirm like that. Did you get scared? Don’t worry, it’s just me,” she croons. Looking for the first time at the scar searing half of his face, at the unnatural paleness of his left eye, she almost starts laughing: without even meaning to, she’d gotten him on his blind side. They would have to remember that for later.

She's held her little boy before; the way he would always run up to them needing to be cuddled and protected, begging for their attention and their love, guaranteed it. (Though he can’t tell the difference between his two mothers at all, Gyokuen had still found herself flattered by his unthinking adoration of her.) As such, she can immediately tell that there’s a stark difference now. Instead of hanging on to her and relaxing into her touch, Hakuryuu is stiff and tense, trying not to shake and failing badly. He doesn't fit quite right in her arms any more. She supposes that's a shame.

“Aww, are you trembling? My cute little Hakuryuu, what are you afraid of?” she asks, putting on her kindest smile and the sickly sweet voice that had always turned her sisters’ stomachs. “I wouldn’t dream of hurting you, so long as you’re still my good boy. Aren’t you?”

Oh, my. It looks like Mother wasn’t exaggerating. Hakuryuu doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t avoid her gaze, either. There is hatred strong and pure as flame in those mismatched eyes, stoked with the pain of her betrayal and far too fierce to belong on such a young face. All of a sudden, she’s reminded of Ankoku, of the way the girl’s eyes would narrow and her small fists would clench and quiver at every mocking word, every reminder of how helpless she was to stop her older sister from doing whatever she wanted with her. The unwelcome resemblance almost makes the smile fall from her face.

She wonders if this is how Ankoku would have looked at her had she known what was happening instead of being stuck with only the maddening sense that something was terribly wrong, had she known this hatred instead of mere suspicion and resentment. In her last moments, in all of her siblings’ last moments, there had been no time for true anger, only desperate terror. She wonders further what they all would have tried to do, if they had been able to uncover the truth and steel themselves to defy their mother and their eldest sibling. Confident as she is that they would have been no threat, she's still glad that they never had to take that chance. And if she has anything to do with it, they will not take any chances now.

“Hakuryuu? Aren't you?” Gyokuen presses, petting his hair. She must be careful with this step: she has to intimidate him enough that he won't even think of acting against them, but she absolutely cannot let on that she's only doing this because she herself feels threatened. “I watched you talking with your sister just now. What were you thinking of? Certainly nothing that would get her in trouble, right?”

Hakuryuu swallows hard, and something like a whimper escapes him, but he still doesn’t answer. It occurs to her that maybe it’s not that he’s refusing to speak out of defiance, but that he’s so scared of her now that he can’t. Poor baby...But I won't let you off the hook so easily.

“Even knowing what you know, you can still be caught unaware. I had a hold of you before you even realized I was here, didn't I? And you were alone, too. I could have done whatever I wanted and there's not a thing you could have done about it.”

As she talks, she trails her hand gently from Hakuryuu’s hair, down his face, to his throat. Her fingertips rest on his pulse, warm and racing, under her fingertips. It reminds her of when she used to caress her little brother’s neck; her son, too, goes still at her touch. But in this there is another stark difference. Unlike Enshan, Hakuryuu knows enough to sense the thoughts behind the action: not affectionate, but imagining what it would feel like to kill him here. She lets that thought hang in his mind for another moment before she starts talking again.

“So, if this is how it is with you, what chance do you think your sister has?”

Hakuryuu makes a strangled sound halfway between a yelp and a sob, and though for once he’s trying to keep them back, the tears well up and spill over almost immediately. He starts squirming again, trying to reposition himself in her arms; he clearly wants to hide his face but the only place he could do that is against her.

It takes some effort to keep her smile from broadening. Instead, she cradles him closer, tucking his head into the crook of her neck and rocking him gently. “No, shhh, shhh...Don’t cry, sweet boy, don't cry. Shh, I didn't mean to scare you. You won't let anything happen to her, will you? Nothing at all needs to happen to either of you, so long as you behave. I should have made that clear from the start. Do you understand?”

Hakuryuu just whimpers some more, trembling even harder, trying to stop crying and failing miserably. She can feel his tears running down her neck. He’s already so overwhelmed, but she has to make sure that he knows who is in control.

“Hakuryuu? Do you understand?”

He nods shakily. Not quite good enough.

“Hakuryuu, I need to hear you say it.”

He takes one slow, ragged breath, then another, and another, until he’s calmed himself down enough to at least speak coherently, and mumbles, “I...I understand, M-Mother.”

“Good boy.” She kisses his forehead lightly, giggling when he flinches. “My good boy.”

‘There,’ Arba says, as if this ends any argument. ‘A weak little thing like this will spend his life bowing to us, not causing us any harm. You see?’

‘Yes, I see,’ she replies obediently. But privately, she thinks, He's not going to stay little and weak forever. And I know I've seen that sort of look somewhere before...Where?

Still sniffling, Hakuryuu wriggles a little harder. “Put...Put me down?” he asks in a tiny, plaintive voice, as if he’s afraid to speak to her again.

‘Oh, he’s too cute,’ Arba laughs. ‘I think we can leave him be, love, you’ve done your job.’

‘Maybe. But I’ve never exactly been one to make things easy for my family.’

“Now, Hakuryuu,” she says in a mockingly admonishing tone, and Arba starts laughing even harder. “Mind your manners. If you want me to let you go, you'll have to ask nicely.”

“P-Please put me down!” he cries, looking and sounding about a second away from bursting into another round of tears.

‘Not as good as An and Kuro’s begging, but I'll take it.’

“Shh, all right, down you go...”

She bends for a moment to set him back on his feet, and the instant he gets near the floor, he wrenches himself out of her hands and darts halfway down the hall, putting himself out of her reach in case she changes her mind. But instead of running any further away, he spins around, glaring up at her and clenching his fists.

Gyokuen raises her eyebrows, letting her smile linger. “Is there something else you wanted to say, darling?”

He grits his teeth, as if there's so much he wants to scream at her, but can't, that it's choking him. The fire still burns strong in his eyes, and all of a sudden it hits her that she was mistaken before about where she recognizes that expression from.

That isn't the look of her bitter younger sister. This is the look of their vengeful eldest sons, at the moment that they had decided to become their enemy. And while it had fit perfectly on two fierce, grown warriors -

(on Hakuren’s face as he charged at them in blind fury, as he held his bleeding fist after Arba’s borg had knocked him away; on Hakuyuu’s face as he called them traitor, and coldly refused to take the offer for partnership that would have saved his and his brother’s lives, why didn’t he take it, why, why had he refused her?!)

- it looks monstrous and wrong in this boy. Their mother had ripped his innocence right out of him, and she can see the rage and terror and confusion pouring from him like blood from the open wound. The child he was before has been shattered, and this new person they’ve created from the burnt and blackened remains is dangerous, hanging onto his semblance of stability by a thread and preparing to kill once that thread finally breaks. And they are his only target, the only ones who will face his wrath once this runt puppy grows into a ferocious beast, like his father and brothers before him.

The thought does not cross Gyokuen’s mind that she may be overestimating the capabilities of one so young. She herself had been four years old when she helped her mother bury her father, and seven when she had very nearly drowned Ankoku, before their mother had stepped in. And unlike Ankoku (like her, instead), Hakuryuu won’t forget anything. The truth of everything they have done is quite literally burned into him. The way she sees it, six is more than old enough to be planning how to get rid of an unwanted parent. Her father had been ill-prepared, and had paid for it with his life. If they aren't careful...They could very well share that fate.

She does not like the uncomfortable cold feeling that settles on her body at these realizations. But it’s okay, she decides. She will control their son; if she cannot get rid of him, she will hold the beast inside him on a chokingly short leash and protect them both.

After a moment or so, Hakuryuu makes a small, sharp noise of frustration and whips around again, bolting away from them as fast as he can. She’s so lost in thought that she almost doesn't notice. (They have nothing more to say to each other, anyway.)

‘So?’ Arba asks. ‘What do you think of him now? Even with those scars, he's still such an adorable boy, isn't he?’

Gyokuen barely hears her, and takes another few moments to consider their child before she answers. As clear and present a danger as Hakuryuu may be, she has to wonder whether he really has the resilience to see whatever plan he may have through, or even to survive to attempt it. Arba was right: the pressure is clearly crushing him even now, and it's only going to get worse the longer he lives. She could see his entire future in those eyes: with no one else he dares share the pain or the burden with, he’ll grow up into a burnt-out shell kept alive only by his lust for his mother’s blood. And if they die and the object of his hatred is suddenly gone...

‘It would have been kinder to have just killed the poor thing.’

‘Mm, maybe so. But we are not kind people, are we?’

‘No, I suppose we’re not,’ she agrees, turning and walking back the way they had come. ‘Though, if you change your mind about keeping him, I’ll certainly take care of that for you.’

It occurs to her that she's never made a quick and clean kill before. Even wounded and bleeding out, Ankoku had tried to fight back and made things more difficult than they needed to be, Kuroko had screamed and struggled under her sister’s blade until her last breath, and she had wanted to savor her last moments with Enshan for as long as she could. But it should be easy: all she would need is one of her knives and a moment alone with their son, to put him out of his misery forever.

‘I'll think about it,’ Arba says, though she can tell that her mother just wants her to drop the subject. ‘For now, all we have to do is keep an eye on him. I know you're worried, but I promise, we’re in no danger. There are no threats left in this palace.’

‘Of course. I'm sorry, Mother.’

‘You trust me, don't you, my love?’

Gyokuen takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

‘With my life.’

~0~

She is not like the other vessels. She made a choice, instead of being blindsided. She fought for her perfect existence, instead of against it. She shares her life with Arba, instead of having it stolen away from her.

(“Do you enjoy being Mother’s spoiled little pet, aneue? Because if you think you’re anything else to her, you really are out of your mind.”)

She alone was chosen. She alone has won Arba’s love. She alone can understand the older woman’s mind and heart.

(“Where do you and Mother go all the time? Why are you keeping so many secrets? Sometimes you two really scare me.”)

She doesn't need control. All she needs is her mother.

(“Aneue, you’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you? I promise, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to fix it.”)

It's better this way.

~0~

Since her possession, the years have passed far more quickly than usual, days or weeks or months at a time blinking by in between her times of awareness. But she is not consigned to oblivion like the rest. Devoted as she is to her mother, focused as she is on the future (her life has never had any particular purpose beyond the one Arba has given her), she can still enjoy looking outside herself to the present, sometimes. And Arba knows well what she enjoys the most, and wakes her so they can share this, too.

In this world, there is only one person that Gyokuen loves. However, there are exactly three people that she cares for, and they stand on the sidelines of the royal family’s training court, intently watching one of them.

‘She's improved quite a lot, hasn't she?’ Gyokuen remarks. Hakuei’s trainer left half an hour ago, but she still insists on doing extra drills. As someone with very little ambition herself, she has to admire her daughter’s dedication.

Arba, however, looks on the seventeen-year-old’s swordplay with a more critical eye. ‘She could be better. For one thing, her footwork is definitely off.’

‘Well, if you're dissatisfied, why don't you train her instead?’

‘Oh, no, I trained Hakuyuu and Hakuren and look what they did with it. All that was was nineteen years of wasted effort, and I have better things to do with my life.’

‘If you say so. She’d do so much better under your influence, but she's all right on her own, isn't she?’

At exactly that moment, Hakuei swings far too widely trying to finish a stroke, and loses her balance, landing hard in the dirt with a surprised yelp. As soon as the girl starts to look up, Gyokuen feels Arba quickly turn away and pretend to inspect their nails. ‘Mother, what are you doing?’

‘Pretending I didn't see that. Students do better if they're not embarrassed to keep trying.’

‘I remember if En or Kuro heard me laughing at them when they made mistakes, they'd look ashamed and give up. I suppose that must be why.’

Unlike their siblings, Ankoku had been the type to yell at her older sister and then try harder out of pure spite, and usually succeed, which had been no fun at all to watch. Hakuei doesn't have a spiteful bone in her body, but she jumps back up anyway, only taking a second to rub her bruised shoulder before starting the sequence over.

‘At least she didn't fall on her face,’ Arba comments. ‘Again.’

‘Oh, leave her alone, that was years ago,’ Gyokuen laughs. ‘She's just tired; she's doing her best.’

Part of her questions why being with her daughter, or even just watching her, fills her with such contentment. They aren't as close to her as they were to their eldest sons, and she has no particular investment in the girl’s life. But the rest of her has already figured out the answer.

She's heard so many people, her mother included, gush about how their daughter looks exactly like her. And she can certainly see that; Hakuei is a beautiful little thing, after all. But Gyokuen looks at this girl, all bright eyes and a hopeful smile, and sees her beloved husband in everything she does.

While she is far freer with her emotions than stoic Hakutoku, Hakuei is without a doubt her father’s daughter. She may have her mother’s face, but her drive and determination, her endless optimism, her desire to change the world for the better...Yes, those are all Hakutoku, though how much is inherited and how much is learned is anybody’s guess. Hakuei still does not know enough of the sword to wield it as easily as a new limb, the way her father and their mother do, but her technique is more refined by the day, her movements are swift as wind, and she will train as long and hard as she has to in order to improve.

Her father’s spirit, sheathed in her mother's beauty. A flawless combination. Gyokuen can't get enough of it.

‘You seem quite happy,’ Arba noted. ‘Is she really so consistently entertaining?’

‘Of course. Doesn't she seem a bit familiar to you?’

‘Well, yes. The older she gets, the more she reminds me of your little brother.’

‘What?’ Of the two answers she had been expecting, that was not one of them. In the mental space they share, she gives her mother a bewildered look. ‘She reminds you of Enshan?!’

Arba snickers. ‘Did you have another little brother I don't know about? I'm surprised you don't see it too.’ Their physical face keeps its expression of kind, mild interest, but here, she looks at their daughter with a small smirk. ‘A naïve little fool who hangs on Ren Hakutoku’s every word, who truly believes that a noble heart is the key to making this worthless world a better place, who would never suspect you of doing anything cruel...And what's more, who is entirely unaware of the fact that no matter how strong they become or how hard they work, everything they have ever done will mean nothing once their time comes. Who am I describing?’

Well, when she puts it like that, there's really no way to deny it. But even so...She can't meet her mother’s eyes.

‘That's really what you're thinking?’

‘Oh, yes.’ Arba’s smirk broadens. ‘Enshan died. Only in death did his useless little life have any point, isn't that right, love? And I might say that Hakuei will go the same way, but we both know that's not true. When her life is taken from her, it will be for a far greater purpose.’

When she doesn't hear immediate agreement from Gyokuen, Arba turns. ‘You know that, my love,’ she reminds her.

‘I do know. Only you could know better.’

She doesn't look on their daughter with sadness. She doesn't. Their line has been blessed with a great purpose, and accepting it is the only thing that has ever made her feel whole. But still, she is the only one who has ever willingly accepted it...Perhaps she really is the only one who can reach this perfect existence.

‘You are sure that she cannot understand? It...disappoints me that she will not share the same relationship with you that I do.’

‘It disappoints me, as well. But what you and I have is special, and I would not be able to recreate that bond with anyone else, not even her. It is certainly regrettable. But you are one of a kind, and she...’ Arba grimaces. ‘Well. You were right about one thing. She is her father’s daughter. She might have your face, but she's nothing like you. Her heart can never be swayed, she will always be blind to the truth.’

‘There's nothing you can do?’

‘Nothing at all, I’m afraid. You wish it were different, then?’

‘Yes.’

Gyokuen looks out at their daughter. Hakuei is finishing the sequence flawlessly now. When she pulls off the move that had tripped her up before, she turns for a second to smile at her mother, and for that one second Gyokuen is decades in the past, watching a beautiful young prince (still fresh-faced and energetic, with not nearly as many battle scars) practice the same techniques, with the same light in his sharp blue eyes, giving her the same sweet smile.

If she were in control of her body, she would smile genuinely, too. This girl looks just like her, but acts just like the man she adored. Even if their daughter won't understand what she was really meant for, she's still perfect. In an equally perfect world, she should be able to enjoy the same symbiosis as her mother.

‘If it’s for her, I wouldn't mind not being the only one.’

‘How touching.’

‘I only...I have one thing to ask of you. May I?’

‘Of course, anything.’

‘When you take her...Just don't hurt her. Let her go peacefully.’

‘Oh, my darling,’ Arba coos, smiling indulgently. She wraps her arms around her daughter from behind and holds her reassuringly close. ‘Of course I won't hurt our precious girl. It will be very quick, I promise. Just a little pain, only for a moment, and then she'll go right to sleep. Don't worry about her; she’ll never feel a thing.’

‘With me, you drew it out.’

‘Because that was your desire. But I have complete control over the process, I can make it as long or as short as I want. It will all be over before she knows it. No need for the poor girl to suffer any longer than she has to, right?’

‘Right.’

She looks out at Hakuei again. It's good that they've kept her ignorant of the truth - she's turned out to be living proof of the idea that ignorance is bliss, after all. Stay that way, my girl. It's what's best. And when our mother takes you, don't fight, it will be okay. It will all be okay.

Just then, she hears soft footsteps, those of one trying not to be noticed. Before she can ask, Arba turns their head, and as always, something inside her jumps when she sees their youngest approaching.

Hakuryuu, as usual, doesn't speak to them. (Sometimes that gets quite boring: Ankoku had been much more outwardly fiery, and consequently much more entertaining on that score, than her nephew.) He makes a point of staying away from them as much as he possibly can. Right now, he stands on the sidelines a good twenty feet away, taking only a second to glare at them before turning his attention to his sister, with an unreadable expression.

Gyokuen watches him grip the hilt of the training sword fastened at his hip, and then starts to study the rest of him. Her son seems to have grown a little taller since the last time she saw him, his features just barely beginning to sharpen into manhood. She thinks for a moment that he is starting to look more dangerous, but she knows it's probably just her imagination. The boy is no threat, she reminds herself, no threat at all.

Arba, feeling her daughter tensing in her arms, gives a light laugh. ‘It seems as if he’s almost reached that rebellious age, hasn’t he? And yet it’s exactly as you were saying that one time: He’s still just a toothless little puppy.’

‘Of course,’ she answers automatically.

Arba raises an eyebrow. ‘Oh? Years we’ve been going over this, and you still disapprove of my decision? You aren’t very good at hiding your feelings from me.’

She resists the urge to sigh. She is not going to get into this with her mother again. ‘Whether or not I approve has no bearing on this. You know better, so I have accepted all of your decisions. I am not going to go back on that.’

‘But?’ Arba prods.

‘But...Still...’ She pulls out of her mother’s embrace and turns around to face her. ‘Still, that doesn’t change the fact that every time I see him, I feel like I’m waiting for an axe to fall! And maybe I am being overly cautious, but you aren’t cautious at all! You’re as confident as you should be, and maybe it’s just because I don’t have your experience, but I worry that letting this go will hurt us one way or another. I'm sorry - ’

‘No. You're right. You are being overly cautious and you don't have my experience. After over a thousand years of fighting, I know better than almost anyone how to first read my opponents, and then deal with them effectively. One would think you would understand by now, even with the comparably short time you have had.’

She has to resist the urge to cringe back under her mother’s derision, like a child being reprimanded. ‘I do understand. You are stronger and smarter than anyone who wants to defy you, but that doesn’t stop me from considering every scenario, even those that are, most likely, not going to happen. I suppose someone like you...has grown past feeling the need to do that, so to speak.’

‘Something like that, yes.’ Arba’s expression softens. ‘I think you're getting the wrong idea, love. I've told you, there's nothing to fear. Don't let your imagination get the better of you. The little weakling lives only to suffer, to struggle endlessly and fail regardless, nothing more. I promise, this will not backfire on us.’

‘I know, I know. But like I said, my approval doesn't matter one way or the other. My...’

She does not want to say fear. She is not afraid of her own son, of this boy she could kill without blinking. She is not.

‘My uneasiness should not factor into what you choose to do. Your decisions have always been absolute, and neither of us should have any doubt in the other. Isn't that right?’

‘Of course. I'm glad that we can get past these little misunderstandings of yours. The less you think about him, the better off you'll be. Just focus on me, all right?’ Arba says sweetly. She reaches out to cup her daughter’s cheek, and the gentle touch is an instant relief.

‘All right. I won't bring it up again, I’m sorry.’

‘Like I said, don't be sorry. My darling eldest daughter can do no wrong, isn't that right?’

Their old refrain, that had made her feel secure in her position, driven Ankoku up the wall, and even made the normally calm and composed Kuroko bristle. She smiles. ‘Right.’

Just then, Hakuryuu makes an irritated noise in the back of his throat, and draws his mothers’ attention back to him. “Why are you staring at me?” he growls.

Gyokuen closes her eyes for a moment and suppresses another sigh. ‘Mother, did you forget to move our head?’

Arba shrugs, still smiling. ‘Maybe. You're quite distracting, after all,’ she explains, tracing her fingertips teasingly down her daughter’s face and neck.

To Hakuryuu, she just laughs and says, “What’s the matter? I can’t look at my cute little boy any more?”

He makes another noise - disgusted this time - and turns back to his sister. “Aneue,” he calls, and Hakuei stops short to give him her full attention. “I know you're tired, but do you have a few minutes?”

“Of course,” she says. The way she smiles at her brother, it’s clear that he means the world to her, and Gyokuen feels as if she’s being held out on. Surely her daughter’s affections would be better placed elsewhere.

Hakuyuu and Hakuren used to spar with each other fiercely, without a care in the world, but these two never do. They're too careful with each other, too afraid of harm coming to their only remaining sibling, to really go all out. But, that doesn't mean they can't train together. Hakuryuu watches with rapt attention as his sister demonstrates a new move for him, once at normal speed, and a second time more slowly, to show him clearly how all the steps go. He only takes his eyes off of her for a second, so he can glare daggers at his mother one more time.

‘Well,’ Gyokuen says, more amused than offended. ‘I suppose we know where we’re not wanted.’

Arba smirks at their son, even as she obligingly turns and leaves the field. ‘I’ll bet that he thinks he'd have a chance against me in a sword fight. He really is so cute. I almost want him to try it now, just to see the look on his face when he realizes how outclassed he is.’

‘Hm. Not exactly the combat I prefer. If he decides to start a knife fight, let me know.’

‘Oh, love, don't make me laugh. Your talent lies in murder, not a fair fight. Besides, I stopped wearing your knives a long time ago. It wasn't as if anyone would notice the difference.’

‘True. Though I do still find that method to have more finesse than what you prefer.’

‘To each her own. But, after seeing those two, I'm in the mood for some training of my own. If you would find that too boring...’

‘I understand. Wake me when something interesting happens.’

‘Of course. Sweet dreams, my love.’

With that, Gyokuen closes her eyes, and feels the thick, heady rush of unconsciousness pulling her down almost immediately. Her last thought before it takes her completely, is that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Hakuryuu try his hand at killing them, if he ever decides to stop being all bark and no bite. After all, she can’t say she wouldn’t love sharing the satisfaction of putting their arrogant son in his place.

~0~

She has killed exactly three times in her life. When she was only herself, the thought of feeling another human’s life end under her hands was constantly scratching at the back of her mind - not a hunger, more a wish, a fascination.

Causing one sister pain and humiliation behind closed doors, forcing the other to hold still and quiet and watch, feeling her brother’s reactions (reaction, but never resistance) when she ran gentle hands over his body...All that had been only mild, fleeting satisfaction. Their lives meant nothing to her; their sole purpose in existing was to be her playthings.

She doesn't pity them.

(As little love as she has for Ankoku, she has to admit that their bond is unique. Ankoku is one of only two people outside of al-Thamen who she allows to see her true colors, and she is free to take advantage of that however she pleases. Her sister can start as many arguments as she likes, but she will always come out on top.

The girl glares at her from across the breakfast table, and she meets her sister’s anger with a sweet, seemingly oblivious smile. The long sleeves of Ankoku’s robes mostly cover her forearm and hand, but she can still catch glimpses of the thin white bandages wound around it, covering the glass cuts that riddle her skin. She had gotten a little too full of herself in an argument yesterday, and if her older sister had ‘accidentally’ shoved her into her floor mirror when she'd gotten bored with dealing with her...Well, it was her own fault for getting too close.

“You look proud of yourself,” Ankoku growls, her scowl only made more apparent by the way she rests her head against the fist of her good hand. Her bandaged fingers tap restlessly against the wooden table. “Was this really such an accomplishment for you?”

“Elbow off the table, An,” she chides gently.

“Don't tell me what to do. You're not Mother.”

Give it a few years, she thinks. “There's no need to always be so petulant. You got out of line, and so I had to punish you for it. Nothing personal. Unless...” She does one of the things that Ankoku hates most: stares directly into her eyes and neither blinks nor breaks the contact. “That isn't the part you're still thinking about?”

Ankoku’s tapping immediately doubles in speed. But she takes a long, slow breath through her nose, and refuses to look away from her sister. “Do you have to go over this every time?”

“I might.”

She knows that the same images are playing out in their heads right now. Ankoku crying out in pain, trying to get up from the mess of broken glass she's lying in, but her injured arm buckling and sending her back down. Rapid footsteps in the hall, and the self-satisfied smile dropping from her face as she falls to her knees and pulls Ankoku into her arms. Their frantic brother running into the room to find out what’s wrong, only seeing his younger sister bleeding and upset, and his older sister trying to comfort her, looking up at him with a pitiable expression and begging for his help. That’s all she ever needs to win him over, all she will ever need.

Ankoku seems to disagree. “You know, one day you’re going to be in real trouble, aneue. And all the sweet-talking in the world isn't going to save you.”

“It isn’t as if you’re much help, either. We passed this time, but even Enshan isn't going to believe things like, ‘She just slipped,’ for much longer. You're going to have to start coming up with more creative explanations soon. But do try to keep it plausible.”

The first lesson she can remember learning from her mother is that she is free to do whatever she likes, but in order to avoid opposition and punishment from the rest of the world, she must wear a mask of kindness and keep anything “unsavory” under wraps no matter what. She remembers that day as clearly as anything, but she has never found out exactly how much Ankoku remembers of her part in it: of being held down in the shallows of a lake, seeing her sister’s face through the surface of the water before finally blacking out. All that their mother would say, and that she had instructed Gyokuen to repeat after explaining the rules to her, was that little Ankoku had fallen in the lake and her older sister had pulled her out and saved her life. She wonders often whether Ankoku’s hatred of her (and consequently, of deception and dishonesty) stems directly from this little incident, or another, better remembered one. For all she knows, it was a learning experience for them both.

“Why should I?” Ankoku’s tone is challenging, but she knows there's nothing serious behind it. “Why should I keep lying for you? I don't want to protect you!”

“You know why, An.” She gets up and goes to sit next to her sister, taking the girl’s chin and tilting it up. “Can you tell me?”

Ankoku holds her glare for another moment before giving a defeated sigh. “It's better for me to lie,” she says, with the tired monotone of an over-rehearsed line. “Because nobody is going to believe the truth.”

“That's right.” She leans forward to wrap her arms around her sister’s shoulders and hold her close once more. The girl does not resist. “Nobody is going to believe you.”)

She isn't sorry for what she did to them.

(Living as her mother’s shadow has taught her how to gather secrets, how to know every piece of private information in the palace. And while such a skill proves beneficial to her as a member of al-Thamen and as a dutiful wife to the crown prince, it also lets her have a bit of fun in her spare time.

Granted, it's not difficult to find the crack in the wall between her sister’s bedroom and her own and observe from the other side, but it's useful anyway. She wonders what they would look like if they knew that even their most private spaces were not off limits to her.

After she'd come upon them having a hushed discussion in the hall, Ankoku had snapped at her to leave them alone and stormed off to her room, dragging a yelping Kuroko by the wrist behind her; tiny for her age as Kuroko is, it's fairly easy to pull her wherever one wants her to go, no matter how the girl protests. So now, she observes the two more closely. Kuroko sits neatly in the middle of her sister’s bed, while Ankoku lounges against the pile of lacy pillows at its head.

“So,” Ankoku says. “You saw Mother with those weird priests again? What’s special about that? She’s always off somewhere, and we’ve seen those guys before.”

Kuroko shakes her head. “Not like this. There were more of them this time, I know it. And I still couldn’t see their faces, but the way they treated Mother...They belong to her. They acted as if...As if they were her dogs.”

Ankoku snorts derisively. “So aneue’s got some competition?”

“Please don’t joke. I didn't stay long, so I couldn't see what they were there for, but I don't think I could have figured it out even if I had stayed. Nee-sama...What is going on? I can't figure it out!”

“Kuro, shh. Relax,” Ankoku soothes, though the way her fingers worry the corner of the pillow nearest her hand betrays her own emotional state. “Let’s just think about this. Out of context, this isn't such a strange thing. Lots of other countries have priests or magic users in high positions. Our brothers were talking about how the Musta’sim Kingdom uses magicians just the other day, weren't they?”

“But those are units loyal to the nation and their ruler. It's perfectly clear what they're for. These people aren't going to answer to King Tokuma or to Hakutoku-onii-sama, not at all. They're Mother’s. What will she use them for, if not to help the family?”

“I don't know,” says Ankoku, with clearly forced patience. “Let’s think about that for a minute. I'm sure we can work some things out together; two heads are better than one, after all.”

“But why don't we try something else? There's only so much we can come up with on our own. We could do some digging and - ”

“No!” Ankoku snaps. “We do not get close to them, do you understand?!”

“But, nee-sama, we need to know more - ”

“I said no! And until I tell you otherwise, the answer will always be no! I’m angry enough that you snuck off without me this time, I don't want you anywhere near them! Don’t you get that it’s dangerous?! I let my guard down around them once, and I told you what that almost got me!”

Kuroko looks startled at her sister’s outburst, but still tries to speak calmly. “W-Well, in that case...If you’re too afraid of doing anything else - ”

“You think we don’t have reasons to be afraid?!”

“That’s not what I said. If this is all you want to do, then why don’t we talk to aniue? Three heads are better than two, aren’t they?”

“Sure they are, but our sweet big brother’s head is in the clouds,” Ankoku scoffs. “It’s one of the drawbacks to being a ray of sunshine, you see.”

“...Yes, I see. But doesn’t he deserve to know what - ”

“Of course he does. Everyone does. It makes me sick that those two can spend so long pulling the wool over everybody’s eyes. But aniue will deny that anything is wrong with this family until the evidence is smacking him in the face, so we can only talk to him when we have actual proof of how messed up our mother and sister are.”

“And when will that be?”

Ankoku gives a frustrated huff. “I don’t know. But it probably won't be anytime soon, if we're going to keep ourselves safe.”

Gyokuen smiles, deciding that she's heard enough, and silently turns to leave and report back to her mother. Her first thought is to deride her sisters as cowards, but she knows it’s the smarter move for them not to poke around where they don’t belong.

So long as the two can see sense where their mother and elder sister are concerned, she’ll be able to keep them around for her entertainment as long as she likes.)

Remorse and guilt are foreign concepts to her.

(Her little brother is a precious thing. Precious, but foolish.

Self-sacrificing, too. After hearing about what had happened on his most recent campaign with his big brother-in-law, she had decided that a caring older sister would go and check on him right away, so that is what she is doing. She opens the door to his bedroom and steps inside as quietly as she can, but she is noticed anyway.

Enshan still lies unconscious, but Hakutoku sits, stiff and straight-backed, in a chair next to his bed. The elder prince watches the younger with an impassive expression, but when he hears the door and sees his wife enter, a shadow of guilt passes over his face, and he looks away just as quickly.

Suppressing a sigh, she crosses the room and pulls up a chair next to her husband. Before she can say or do anything else, he's already talking.

“Gyokuen, I'm sorry,” he says, his voice lower than usual. He won't meet his wife’s eyes. “I wasn't watching him closely enough, when he needed me to watch him the most...This happened because of me.”

She takes a moment to look at her brother before responding. The boy looks softer and more breakable than usual, with thick bandages wound around his chest and stomach in lieu of a shirt. “It's not your fault.”

“He did it to protect me and I didn't stop him - ”

“Oh, I suppose you made him jump in front of a sword for you?” She would laugh at the absurdity of the idea, but it wouldn't be appropriate for the current mood. Instead, she takes his chin in her hand, and gently turns his face down toward her so she can kiss his lips. Even after pulling back, she holds his gaze. “Look at me. Do I look angry with you?”

“No.”

“Of course not. Now, I'll certainly be having a word with my reckless little brother when he’s aware enough to listen properly, but I can't blame you for this. So don’t blame yourself. All right?”

Hakutoku doesn’t look entirely convinced, but nods anyway, with a small grunt of agreement. He turns his eyes back to his brother, but wraps an arm around his wife to pull her close, and lets her rest her head on his shoulder. It's not quite as much attention as she would like to be getting from him, but it's warm and comfortable and enough for now. The silence only lasts for a moment.

“...Shuuen-dono hasn't put in an appearance yet,” Hakutoku says flatly, and although she knows he doesn't like to directly criticize family, the disapproval is clear in his voice. “Though I'm sure she already knows what's going on.”

“You know how my mother is. She probably thinks that it won't do any good to come while he's still asleep. When he wakes up and can actually see that she's there, then I'm sure she’ll stop by to check on him.”

“I'm sure,” he echoes tonelessly.

“She will, don't worry. And speaking of sleep,” she says, noticing for the first time the unusual pallor of her husband’s face, the dark shadows under his eyes. “When was the last time you got any rest?”

“I'm fine.”

“No, that wasn't what I asked. You've been watching over my brother ever since he got hurt, haven't you? It's all right, I can take over from here.”

“I can - ”

“I mean it, Toku. Go and sleep, and I’ll wake you if something changes. Enshan’s perfectly safe with me. Go on.”

Hakutoku only hesitates a moment before deciding that she’s right. He gives his wife a characteristically awkward one-armed hug, before getting up and leaving the room without another word. Once he’s gone, she moves from the chair to the bed, lifting her brother's head and cradling it in her lap as she sits down. She runs her fingers lightly through his soft, thick hair, as if petting a housecat. Before long, her eyes move from his face down to his wounded body. As she’s been told, the Gou soldier’s sword, meant to cut Hakutoku’s head off from behind, had instead slashed Enshan open from collarbone to hip when he got in its way.

She thinks that he must have looked stunning covered in blood, the bright red surely a stark contrast to the white of his clothes and the pale blue of his eyes and hair. That soon gives way to imagining what the scar will look like, once these bandages are removed - she’ll see it herself eventually, of course, but the thought is still interesting. She is more aware than usual of the tight leather straps around each of her upper arms and thighs, each holding a short but sharp dagger in place. What was it like, she wonders, to tear through this warm, perfectly unblemished skin with a cold blade? To leave a permanent mark on this boy? The thought crosses her mind that she should have been the one to leave such a mark, the one who her brother thinks of every time he looks at his own body. Her siblings belong to her, after all, and no one else.

While she's deep in thought, she almost doesn't catch the tiny noise that Enshan makes. His body tenses and starts to stir as he tries to wake himself up, and his eyelids twitch for a moment and then flutter open. He stares up at her blearily, and she can practically see the wheels turning in his head, trying to remember what happened and where he is.

“A-Ane...Aneue?” he says, his voice less than a whisper.

She smiles. “Yes, I’m right here.”

“Ane...”

“Shhh,” she murmurs, still stroking his hair. “It's all right. You're at home, you're safe now. You're safe.”

His eyes look a little clearer, but he still doesn't seem to get it. “O-Onii-sama...”

“Hakutoku is fine. Don't worry. Everything's all right.”

“Oh...” He tries to sit up, but hisses through clenched teeth as pain lances through his chest. Still whimpering softly, he lets his sister guide him back down onto her lap.

“No, don't try to move, just lie still,” she says, gently holding him down in case he tries again, with one hand on his head and the other flat on his chest. “You'll be okay, but you're still very hurt.”

Still only half-awake, Enshan’s mind returns to the previous subject quickly. “Onii-sama...He’s...”

“I told you, he's perfectly fine. Thanks to you, that is.”

Once he registers the answer, Enshan smiles too, and the idiotic mix of relief and pride almost makes her laugh. “Didn't...I didn't...w-wanna see...let him g-get hurt.”

“Yes, En, I know. You're a very good brother. But you need to take better care of yourself.”

“I...I'll protect...Protect you all...Aneue, I'll - ”

“Of course you will,” she coos, her voice sugary sweet. “But you were nearly killed. You just can't take such risks with your life. I don't want to lose you yet.”

Still the vacant smile and eyes. “I will protect you...I will.”

“I know.” She leans down and kisses his cheek, at the corner of his lips - not quite where she'd kissed her husband, but close enough. He doesn't seem to realize. “You’ll do anything for me, won't you? Such a good brother.”)

When she remembers her siblings - and she wonders why she remembers them as often as she does - all she recalls feeling is the satisfaction of knowing her place, of knowing that they would never be like her.

That had been all...Until that night.

(They stand in an empty corridor, facing each other, and she is frozen in shock.

She stares at her mother, uncomprehending, certain she must have heard wrong. A year since they had made their pact, a lifetime of devotion...Her mother would not repay her with betrayal. Never.

So she asks, somewhat shakily, for clarification. “Wh-What are you talking about? You chose me as your vessel.”

Her mother’s smile doesn't falter. “Yes, I did tell you that. But that may have been a mistake. I'm really starting to think that one of your little sisters might be a better choice.”

“But...” It’s taking every last bit of self-control she has not to scream. Hurt and fury are boiling in her stomach and heart, and she’s trying but she can't think of what she could have done so wrong that her mother would reject her. “I-I don't understand.”

“It shouldn't be hard to understand, love. Plans change, that's all, and this is what I have decided is best. It's nothing that you did wrong. And nothing about what you are to me needs to change, too.”

No! No, you're wrong! she wants to protest. Being your other half is what I am to you! I'm the only one who can be that to you! I’m the one who serves you, I'm the one you gave dark rukh to, I’m the one who is going to become queen, I’m the one carrying our child; everything has already been set in place perfectly for you with me! You can't go back on that now! You can't do this to me! What am I supposed to do without you?!

But she does not say any of this. She can't. Her mother's word is absolute.

So she takes a deep breath, and forces her lips into what she hopes passes for a smile. “Of course. I respect your decision, Mother.”

Her mother still smiles blissfully, as if she has no idea what she's just set off inside her daughter. “That's my good girl.”

“If...If you'll excuse me.”

Thinking that she’ll vomit if she has to look at that face for one more second, she turns on her heel and stalks away. As she turns a corner and disappears from the older woman’s sight, she still does not allow her rage to show on her face, but her mind is racing.

Her mother knows better than she does. Her mother’s plans always fall perfectly into place, no matter what they entail. Her mother will do whatever she has to to achieve her ultimate design, whether her daughter fits into it or not. These are just simple facts, as unalterable as the laws of nature.

At the moment, she couldn’t care less about any of that.

It barely even registers with her that this is the first time in her life she has ever had feelings like this. All she can think about is that there is no way she can allow this to happen. She is in this too deep, has been led to expect too much, for too long, to be able to accept any other life now. What does her mother expect her to do?! Just watch from the distance while one of her worthless siblings takes what is rightfully hers, knowing that her perfect existence is being dangled in front of her, just out of reach? She will never be satisfied with that. The only thing that can complete her is to become one with her mother.

The image of her sisters’ smiling faces flashes in her mind, and it only enrages her more. Those two don't understand anything. They don't love their mother the way she does; no one else can. They don't deserve her. They can't have her. They won't have her.

Her right hand slides up to her left arm, running her fingers up and down the knife held there under her sleeve. She won't let anyone else have her mother. She will set her life back on track.

Another deep breath, and her hand trails down from her arm to her stomach. She hasn’t started showing very much yet and it’s too soon for any movement, but she can feel the small life growing inside her regardless. Perhaps you can be of some help sooner than I thought, little one, she thinks, a plan starting to form in her head.

Since she told them the news, Ankoku acts just as hostile and Kuroko just as cautious as ever, but she’s listened to them showing their real feelings to each other when they think she can’t hear, gushing over the idea of getting a niece or nephew, even from the sister they fear. They might not be as likely to retaliate if she attacks them, before they realize that this time she’s striking to kill, and then it will be far too late.

Hakutoku and Enshan haven’t returned from the border yet, so if she can get this done before they do, then there won’t be anyone who notices in time that the girls are missing. And as for getting them in a secluded enough place that she can do it unseen and uninterrupted...She’s been told that an expectant woman’s mood becomes turbulent early on. She hasn’t felt anything like that yet, but her sisters don’t know that. If she can act empty-headed and harmless and completely unlike herself, just enough to make them let down their guard and unthinkingly allow her to lure them away from the palace and all its prying eyes...

Yes, she can make this work.

She must not rush; no, she must be as careful as always, to keep to the rules and not be caught. She will have to think much harder about her plan before she actually puts it into play, to ensure that it is completely foolproof. But she will do this.

Her mother will be the one left with no choice. She will have her eldest daughter, or she will have nothing, and die with nowhere else for her soul to reside in. If these are the lengths she must go to in order to reclaim her birthright, then so be it.)

She had to do it. She hadn’t had a choice.

Even if, in hindsight, the reality of the situation - that her mother had only wanted to see what she would do if offered the chance to back out of merging with her - was obvious, there still had been no other way. For her future to be secured, her sisters had had to die, by her own hand. And her brother, too; it had been better to make a clean job of it, even after she'd supposedly passed the test. Her mother had appeared to change her mind once, and once was enough to convince her that she could not allow Arba even a chance to do so again.

She only did it because her mother had forced her hand, but she has no regrets. In fact, she had been deliriously happy, that she had finally given in and done what had been calling to her since she was a child.

To hear the girls screaming, begging for their own lives and their siblings’, to see the raw terror in their crying eyes and contorted expressions, to feel their blood flowing over her skin as she plunged the blade into them, again and again and again: that was what she had been longing for. Killing her brother had been a completely different but equally fulfilling experience, with his throat held fatally tight in both her hands, his eyes bulging wide and his skin and lips turning a delicate shade of blue, the way his spasms and panicked scratching at her wrists grew weaker and weaker until he went limp and lifeless underneath her.

Aside from her mother, nothing had ever made her heart race the way the act of murder had. In those last seconds, in seeing the light leave their eyes, in knowing that the last thing they ever saw was her face, calm and contented in her success...In that, she had found greater power and satisfaction than she had ever thought possible. She wonders, sometimes, how something that felt so beautiful could be considered evil. But she never puts too much thought into it. Those are just the rules that she must pretend to abide by in order to blend in and avoid punishment, and they’re nothing to do with her personally.

Besides, she knows that she is ahead of the curve, anyway. Soon enough, it won’t matter who followed the rules of this world and who didn’t. When her mother can finally summon her god down from the rift between dimensions and bring everything and everyone in this place to ruin, nothing will matter any more.

She does not anticipate it with the zeal that her mother does, merely accepts it as an inevitability. But, one question does float into her mind every time the subject comes up: if feeling one person die under her hands could bring her such elation, then what will it feel like when the entire world is dying around her?

~0~

When the answer to that question comes, it does so, like everything else in her life now, unexpectedly soon. Her mother’s voice floats into her mind, loud and insistent:

‘Wake up. Wake up! Gyokuen, wake up, now!’

Arba’s excitement is palpable, and infectious; before Gyokuen even knows what’s going on, she is eager to share her mother’s feelings. But when she glances out at her limited view, at the legion of veiled priests on either side of them and at the dark grey clouds rolling in above them, she can’t quite put it together, though the unfamiliar energy she feels in the air certainly does set the scene apart.

‘Mother? What is this?’

In the mental space they share, Arba turns to gaze at her, her eyes and smile wide with the purest joy that Gyokuen has ever seen. Her lips fall open, but she can’t seem to find the right words. So after a moment, in lieu of speaking at all she runs for her daughter, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her in for a kiss. Gyokuen can feel the older woman’s hands shaking as her grip tightens, and she stays still and relaxed as her mother leans closer, presses harder on her lips. ‘My darling,’ Arba croons in her head, low and long. ‘My darling, I’ve done it, it’s happening right now. And I have you to thank for it.’

Arba pulls back, smiling proudly, and Gyokuen can’t help but do the same. ‘I’m glad. But what did you do?’

‘Come, look for yourself. Our Father is arriving.’

Arba has their head craned up to the sky. Though she knows there is nothing in the air above them, she, like her mother, is allowed to see through the eyes of the priests stationed wherever in the world this is actually happening. She doesn’t recognize the terrain, but she isn’t looking at it for long before what she’s supposed to be seeing catches her eye.

‘M-Mother!’

A colossal black mass, emerging from the clouds and stretching slowly down from sky to earth. Forget its dizzying size - the presence, the sheer power she feels from it hits her right in the pit of her stomach, and she very suddenly cannot breathe. She is faintly aware of their physical form, of the tears running down their face and Arba shrieking jubilantly in her daughter’s voice. But she is too transfixed by this thing, this...this god descending before her to care about anything else. Her eyes are locked onto its form, and she is shaking uncontrollably as she feels its influence on her, even in this state. Its darkness pours into her, sending her thoughts into a whirlwind and turning her blood to fire. This feeling...It's locking eyes with her father as her mother drives a knife through his heart, it’s clutching her own blade tight as it tears through her sisters, it's the itch in her fingers just before they close around her brother’s throat, and oh - !

This. This is what Arba has sought for a thousand years, this is what she loves more deeply and passionately than she could ever love her children. And for the first time in her life, she feels no envy at being passed over. For the first time, she understands.

She could happily lose herself here and bathe in this sensation forever. If all this goes uninterrupted, ‘forever’ won’t last very long anyway, and this way she won't even notice when it ends. But too soon, her mother takes hold of her again, jarring her back to reality.

‘I know, love, I know,’ she says, seeing the confused and disappointed look on her daughter’s face. ‘It’s an indescribable feeling to meet him, isn’t it? But I thought you’d like to take a quick look on the ground. Our family thinks that they have a chance at stopping us. But they are like ants struggling against the river’s current. Go on, watch.’

So she does, follows their gaze to the battlefield below. It’s not as interesting a sight, in her opinion. The towering creature born from their god is impressive, but she is surprised to find that, comparatively tiny and weak as they are, it is the humans darting around it that catch and hold her attention.

The blond boy and the blue-haired boy are unfamiliar and unimportant, and she barely sees them. But her nephews and niece are here, raising earth and fire and water against their weapon with everything they’ve got. (She still can’t quite wrap her head around the fact that beautiful warriors like this came from her repulsive brother-in-law). Her daughter is here as well, in shining white and gold, with the howling wind at her beck and call. She has to smile at the sight: the girl has grown up strong, after all, just like her father always said she would.

But she hasn't watched for long before it becomes apparent that something isn't right. Someone is missing.

‘Mother...Where is Hakuryuu?’

‘Ah, so you’ve noticed?’ Arba smiles. ‘He’s perfectly all right, but it seems he ignored Kouen’s call to arms. Clearly, he’s found more important things to do with his time than keep the world from ending. You didn’t hear, but we’re unable to locate Judal, too. If I had to guess, I’d say that Hakuryuu has taken him up on his offer for partnership, and they’ve finally decided to begin their revenge against me. Though I doubt that’s a surprise to you, either, considering how he behaved the last time I spoke with him. Remember?’

An uneasy laugh escapes her at that. Of course she remembers. Her mother had allowed her to take control to kill her brother-in-law, at her request. After decades of antagonism between them, it had felt good to win. But when she was done, she had returned to her usual position as a quiet observer of the events that followed. Hakuryuu had managed to surprise her, even more than he already had by actually surviving up to this point.

First he had bowed to them in the funeral room, deliberately trying to split the family apart, flaunting his rebellion in front of everybody. And then, he’d finally had the guts to draw his weapon and attack them, aiming to kill and damn the consequences. Though, when she remembers the look in his eyes every time they had touched his scars and brought up his sister before this, every time he had had to stay still and quiet because he knew he couldn’t yet retaliate, she figures that it was less that he’d planned to do that and more that he’d finally snapped after ten years of living with them. Her mother had stayed calm and controlled, as always, and it had startled Gyokuen to see how easy it really was for her to smack him down like an insect, and force him to resign himself to her touch.

May you always remain my adorable little Hakuryuu.

She and Arba both know that that is the one thing that Hakuryuu will never accept. If he hasn’t learned his place by now, he never will. The next time he comes to kill them, he will still be driven by rage, but he will have a plan and a partner and perhaps even more power. And none of it will do him any good at all. She understands now: if he dares challenge their mother again, he has no more hope of survival than his brothers did. She will not fight him herself, of course, but she wonders what it will be like to watch, and to feel her own body deal the finishing blow. She had not seen her eldest sons die, hadn’t even seen the fire, so she doesn’t yet know what it’s like to kill her own child. She wonders if it will feel any different than killing her siblings. Perhaps, this time, she will feel nothing at all.

She is sure that Arba will enjoy it, though, from what she’d said as they left the courtyard that day. According to her, their son had been on the edge of falling into depravity when they had last seen him. She smirks at the memory: Hakuryuu would be disgusted to hear how his mother had cooed over him.

You can’t see it, my love, but I can, Arba had said, with the air of an artist painting the final stroke of their masterpiece. I can see his rukh. I see the darkness in his heart surging to the surface and swirling around him. He’s exactly what I wanted him to become. When he finally falls...Oh, I can’t wait to see that. He’s going to be so beautiful. So perfect. After all these years, my perfect son.

‘Are you paying attention?’

That hadn’t been part of it. ‘What?’ she asks, jerked out of her reverie.

Arba rolls her eyes. ‘Clearly not. Well, perhaps it’s for the better. The tides have turned in the enemy’s favor. You see now?’

She looks, and is puzzled by what she sees. There are far more Metal Vessel users here now, and nothing of her mother’s. It isn’t the endgame she had been imagining at all. ‘We lost? So quickly?’

‘It would appear so. I told you about the singularity, didn’t I? King Sinbad. He’s the one down there with the ridiculous blue tail.’

‘He interfered?’

‘He and his whole damn kingdom, it seems,’ Arba growls, but then immediately returns to her usual relaxed tone. ‘Well, it scarcely matters. The dark spot we’ve torn into this world still remains, and they can’t keep fighting it off forever.’

Gyokuen smirks. ‘And we only need to get lucky once.’

‘Exactly,’ Arba agrees, her smile returning. ‘And I promise, next time won’t be such a letdown. You’ll be able to see exactly what I’ve been building up for all these years.’

‘Take as much time as you need, I’m in no hurry,’ she laughs. ‘I’ll go back to sleep for now, but do let me know when you start planning again. I’ll be happy to help.’

‘I know you are.’ Much more gently than before, Arba takes her daughter’s chin in her hand and leans in to kiss her cheek. ‘Sweet dreams, my love.’

‘Thank you. I’m already looking forward to whatever you’ll have in store for me when I wake next.’

She closes her eyes, and as always, sinks far down into herself. The warmth, the darkness, the sense of complete and total safety rushes up to meet her, enveloping her. Almost like a womb, in its perfection, she thinks, and the idea brings a small smile to her face as she falls asleep.

Mother...Let me see you again soon. Let me share in everything with you. Let every time I see you, the real you, be like the first time. Like that time...

~0~

Sometimes, floating in the dark waters of her consciousness, barely aware enough to think, she dreams.

~0~

Her newborn son squirms and murmurs in her arms, trying to fight sleep, but failing. “Shhh,” she coos, tucking his blanket more snugly around him. “Shh, Hakuren, it’s all right. Mama’s here.”

As she rocks him, Hakuren looks up at her with wide blue eyes - so much like her own, even if hers have long since lost their innocence. He's more demanding than his brother was at this age, needing to be held close by someone at all times to stay calm. It takes her a while to get him down for the night, but that’s okay. On this last night as herself, a little more time with her child couldn't hurt.

A week ago, her mother had stopped her for a moment as they passed each other in the hall, and whispered in her ear, “It's time. You have seven days; if there's anything left you’d like to do on your own, now is your chance.”

But she hadn't had anything in particular she wanted. In whiling the last days away with her husband and sons, all she had been able to think of was how her completion was so close now, so close. And now the time was finally here, for the two of them to become one. She remembers years ago, when she had found out that her rukh was different, was lesser, than her mother’s, and had insisted that she be allowed to have the same. Fortunately, her mother had already been working on a way to grant her wish; and such a sensation it had been when she had! It had taken so many times to complete the process, but the feeling of magic searing her blood was pure ecstasy, the most intimate she had ever been with another person. She knows, deep in her heart, that what her mother does to her this time will be beyond anything she has ever experienced or imagined. Finally, they will be merged together, and no one will be able to take what is hers, ever again.

As if sensing that his mother’s attention is drifting elsewhere, Hakuren whimpers again, and she smiles. “Shhh, sweetheart. Go to sleep, now. Mama’s not going anywhere.”

The way she sees it, that is perfectly true. These children - the little ones she has now and any that will come from her body in the future - still belong at least partially to her, even if she’s passing most of the responsibility for them onto Arba. They are still half her, and she just hopes that they will not only grow up strong, but also have the sense that she had and be able to support their mother the way she does. If not...Well. She supposes that she can help, doing what she can while she’s in control to make sure they’re just as attached to Arba as she is, but she really will have to hope. She doesn’t think she’ll want children she can’t see any of herself in, after all.

Finally, Hakuren’s eyes droop lower, and then close. She holds him in her arms, humming softly, for a few minutes more, until she’s sure that he’s sound asleep. If he wakes up while she’s gone, she reasons as she lays him down in his crib, one of the servants will come take care of him. “Good night, sweetheart,” she whispers as she slips out the door.

Her mother plans to move al-Thamen completely into the palace at some point, but for now, their base of operations is only a short distance from the grounds. She’s gone out riding by herself enough times that her departure tonight won’t be seen as unusual, and she knows the way there by heart. She had requested earlier that her horse be prepared, so she’ll be able to get going right away. However, she’s almost there when a loud, excited voice stops her.

“Mama! Mama!”

Before she can even turn around fully to see him, her other son is already at her side, gripping her hand and practically bouncing with a three-year-old’s typical excitement, and she smiles sweetly down at him. “What is it, Hakuyuu?”

“I’m learning swords!”

At that, she has to laugh. “I know, darling, you’ve been telling me that for the past three days.”

Hakuyuu does not care and keeps talking. “Papa says I’m already really good! He says I need to take it slow, though, but I want to do everything! You and Papa know how to do everything, don’t you?”

“Well - ”

“Papa learned from the palace trainers, but he said Grandmother Shuuen taught you. Did she really?”

“Yes, she did, but I was much older than you when she started.” And it had been less about teaching her to fight by herself, and more about strengthening her body to make it easier for her mother to fight in, but that was beside the point. “I'm glad you're excited about this, because I certainly don't miss it. I always thought it was boring.”

“It's not boring!” Hakuyuu says indignantly. “Do you think Grandmother would help teach me?”

“She might.” It would definitely give the boy a boost; there was no one in the palace who could match Arba in terms of swordsmanship. “When she gets back from her trip, we’ll see.”

“When is she coming back?”

“I haven't heard from her while she's been gone, but she said before she left that she'd be back here by tomorrow at the latest. I'm sure you can ask her then.”

Hakuyuu accepts this answer and promptly moves on. “Papa says he used to spar with his trainers to get better. Would you ever do that with Grandmother?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I would lose.”

Truthfully, it's because she doesn't see the point in doing so, but it occurs to her that this is something of an opportunity. She kneels down to look her son in the eyes, keeping his small hands enveloped in hers. Hakuren is only a couple weeks old, so he won’t remember anything of when his mother was only herself. But Hakuyuu is a different story. She knows that once he’s grown, there really isn’t much chance that he’ll remember this specific moment from when he was just a toddler (she ought to know; her own memories start at the age of four). But that doesn’t mean she won’t be able to leave at least a little of herself in his memories.

“Hakuyuu, listen to me. You should never try and challenge somebody who you know is stronger than you. Never. Don’t give powerful people a reason to be your enemy, and don’t ever take the risk of losing. If you have to choose between doing one thing or another, always choose to do what will keep you safe. Do you understand?”

Hakuyuu looks a little puzzled at the sudden serious turn their conversation has taken, but seems to think that he’s got the gist of it, and nods happily. “Yes, Mama!”

“Very good. I’m sure you’ll pass it on to your little brother when he’s old enough to understand, too.” Anything to keep them on Arba’s side, strong and alive and serving her loyally. “Can you promise that you’ll remember all that? For your mother?”

“Sure! I promise!” he assures her, without even a second of hesitation.

Goodness, he makes her laugh sometimes. “That’s wonderful. I’m very proud of you, darling.”

Before either of them can say anything else, though, another voice makes them both look up.

“Hakuyuu? Hakuyuu, where are you?” When Hakutoku turns the corner and sees the two of them, the worry on his face immediately turns to relief. “There you are. I hoped I'd find him with you, jewel.”

“You were looking for him?” she asks, standing up again, as he bends to pick Hakuyuu up and hold him safely close.

“Yes. I told him we could go find you, but he ran off before he could hear the part about waiting for me,” he explains, looking pointedly at their son at the last three words. (Hakuyuu just giggles and leans against his father’s shoulder, knowing he’s not actually in trouble.)

“I can’t believe you lost our child,” she says flatly, before giving a light laugh to reassure him that she doesn’t mean it. “I’m glad you two showed up. I won’t be long, but I wanted to say good night before I go.”

Hakuyuu nods and leans down so his mother can kiss his forehead, but Hakutoku looks concerned again. “You’re still going out for a ride? After dark?”

“The stars are beautiful tonight, are they not? Besides, it's nothing I haven’t done before. With any luck, I might run into my mother on her way back. This is around the time she said she’d be returning, after all.”

“I still don’t like that she’s always so vague about things like this. It means I have both of you out there to worry about.”

“My mother can take care of herself, and so can I.” Her mother usually has one or two priests watching her when she’s alone; she can’t be hurt. She reaches up to take hold of her husband’s shoulders, and gets up on her toes to kiss his lips. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll be all right, and back before you know it.”

Her siblings had only been in-laws to him, but Hakutoku had cared for them as if they were his own blood. (Considering that his one actual sibling is a poor excuse for family, she supposes that they were more than adequate replacements.) Suddenly and inexplicably losing all three of them within the space of a few weeks had shaken him badly, to say the least, and though he’d been plenty protective before, he had worried even more over her and over their children ever since, realizing that they could be lost just as quickly. She gets back down, looking her husband in the eyes. If he knew what was about to happen to her, he would certainly try to stop it. But he wouldn’t understand. She doesn’t need to be protected from this.

When this is done, he will probably be the only one who notices that she isn't quite herself anymore. But it doesn't matter. She will be in control enough to dissuade him from thinking too hard about any times that her mother’s imitation of her isn't as convincing as it needs to be. (Arba has promised that she won't touch him, won't do anything at all to him, without her daughter’s permission. Her husband will belong to her and her alone until the day he dies.) Even if she wasn't, though, he will never be able to guess at the whole truth.

“If you're still awake, I’ll see you later tonight, Toku. And I'll see you,” she coos, reaching out to tickle Hakuyuu under the chin and make him giggle, “in the morning.”

“I'll wait up for you,” Hakutoku tells her. “Be safe, jewel.”

“I will, don't worry,” she says, as soothingly as she can.

With that, Gyokuen heads on her way again, while Hakutoku turns the other direction and carries their son off. For a moment, she has the strangest urge to look back, to watch the two of them until they fade from her sight. But it passes just as quickly as it came.

As requested, her horse is saddled and ready when she reaches it - Ayumu even whinnies happily to see her owner coming. Before long, she’s outside the palace grounds, and then outside the city, riding down the path she knows best with oppressively thick forest all around her. She's made this journey, from the palace to the base of the mountain, back and forth several times, but it feels much shorter now. With the wind in her face, the cold of the night on her skin, and the landscape rushing past her in a dark green blur to remind her that she is really doing this - racing forward, proud and unafraid, to claim her birthright once and for all - she has never felt more alive.

When she reaches the flat-roofed stone building hidden among the trees and slopes, the group of priests standing beside the entrance bow low at the sight of her, and she smirks. She dismounts, pats Ayumu on the neck, and makes her way towards the entrance while one of the priests detaches himself from the group and leads the amiable horse away.

“Gyokuen-sama,” the rest intone as she passes through them. “Welcome. Shuuen-sama awaits you inside.”

The first room is empty of furnishings, save for the two torches on the walls that provide its dim lighting. Ithnan and Falan stand on either side of the doorway to the next rooms, their eyes unreadable. She barely notices either of them: in the center of the doorway stands her mother, with a delighted smile on her face to rival Gyokuen’s own.

“Come, my love,” Arba says, reaching a hand out to her daughter. “We've waited long enough.”

“Do this however you'd like,” she replies, taking the offered hand and letting herself be led down the next hall. “I am yours.”

“Good girl.”

Arba takes her a short distance down the hall, then around a corner, and then opens the heavy wooden door to a small room at the end. The room contains only a torch on the wall and a small bed, which her mother guides her to lie down on.

“On your back, now. It's all right,” Arba soothes, kneeling down over her and reaching for the neckline of her dress. “Loose clothes, just like I told you; very good.”

“Why did you want that, anyway?” Gyokuen asks, as Arba takes her arms out of her sleeves and pulls her dress down to her waist.

“For this.” Arba lays her hand flat onto her daughter’s bare chest, right on her heart, and where their skin touches, she starts to feel a sharp sting.

“Ungh...And what is this for?”

“Just a precaution. I've marked your rukh, so that if anything unfortunate happens, it will destroy itself and your body. This way, if we’re ever defeated, we can take our opponent with us.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “You anticipate something like that happening?”

“I anticipate everything,” Arba corrects her, lifting her hand and tugging the dress half-heartedly back on. “Now...Are you ready?”

Her heart skips a beat at that, and she smiles. “Of course.”

She knows that she must be the only person in the world that her mother has ever looked at so lovingly. Arba brushes her hair out of her face, leans in so close their foreheads briefly touch, and gives her a small kiss. “All right. Let’s begin.”

She doesn’t even have time to nod before the first shard of pain hits her, right at the top of her head, and a small noise of surprise escapes her.

“I told you it would hurt,” Arba murmurs. “Don’t worry, it won’t be much, since you’re not resisting. Would you like me to finish quickly?”

“No...”

It’s not so much a sharp pain anymore as it is heat, still pounding in her head but starting to spread down her body, through her insides. Her muscles twitch minutely and it’s a little harder for her to see, but it’s not a wholly painful feeling. Her mother is here, after all, and this marks the beginning of their union. So instead of grimacing, she pulls her lips into a smile.

“That wouldn’t be any fun, now, would it?”

“No, not at all,” Arba laughs. “I'll give you some pleasure. You can take me in slowly.”

She gives a quick nod, sinking back deeper into the mattress. “You'll let me feel you...”

Because she has quickly realized that that is what this pain is: her mother’s soul, pouring into her like molten metal and melding with her own. The burning inside of her is stronger now, much stronger, and it makes her heart race hard and her blood run hot. Something like a moan works its way up from the back of her throat. Her eyes start to fall shut, but her mother grips her shoulders tight, digging her nails in, and they fly open again at the sting.

“No,” Arba hisses. Gyokuen can't quite tell, but it seems there's a haze coming over her eyes, too. “You keep your eyes on me. Eyes on me until this is over.”

“Y-Yes, Mother,” she manages. She must answer, but it’s getting harder to breathe, much less speak. Black is tinging the edges of her vision, and it’s a struggle to do as her mother orders. But still, there is nothing in her that says ‘disobey.’ There is pride and triumph and love in her mother’s eyes, the love that she has been chasing her entire life. At this moment, she couldn’t look anywhere else, even if she had wanted to.

This will be the final time she ever gazes at her mother’s face, that she ever feels this touch on her skin. She must not waste a second. She takes it all in, the pain and the pleasure alike, gladly and hungrily. Finally, they are merging, they are one -!

Arba’s hands are shaking now as she tries to hold onto her daughter, and her eyes slip between focused and unfocused. She’s not all there by this point, and under the heat, Gyokuen is becoming aware of the pounding in her head growing into something else, coming over her, smothering her. She can’t keep from whimpering. “M-Mother...”

A shaky smile finds its way onto Arba’s face. “It’s okay. I just can’t keep this up for much longer, I need to finish now. But don’t be scared. You’ll see me again...S-Soon...”

And before she can ask what that means, the darkness washes over her completely. Deep inside her, something severs, and she falls, down into suffocating black depths where she can’t feel or hear or see a thing. She tries to move her body, and finds that she can’t do that either. She’s completely disconnected from it now. But she has no time to be afraid. After a moment, there’s a voice in her head, soft and soothing.

‘There, we’re done. I told you it wouldn’t be so bad, didn’t I?’

‘Of course,’ she thinks, an automatic response. There is no question as to who is speaking to her, after all. ‘You’re in control, then?’

‘Yes. I assume it might feel a little strange to feel me move this body without your input, but don’t worry. You’ll get used to it, just as I’ll get used to sharing this space with you. I’ve never done this with any of my children before.’

‘So you’ve told me.’ Then she’s reminded of something. ‘Mother, what happens to Shuuen now?’

Arba snickers. ‘Oh, come now, I’m sure you’ve guessed. But if not, then look through our eyes and watch.’

The command confuses her, but with no further clarification given, she decides to just do what feels natural. She opens her eyes (or does Arba? She can’t yet tell) to the real world, and realizes that only a few seconds must have passed during their conversation. Shuuen is still leaning over her, unsteady and blinking as if waking up from a long, deep sleep. For just a moment, their eyes meet, and a look of total confusion starts to pass over Shuuen’s face.

But that's all she has time to do, before Arba lunges up at her, pulling one of Gyokuen’s knives out of her sleeve and slashing Shuuen’s throat in one swift motion. The woman’s eyes bulge and she immediately starts clutching at her neck in panic, as blood spurts from the ear-to-ear gash and pours over her hands. Arba grabs Shuuen by the hair at the side of her head, pulls back, and then pushes her off the bed, hard. There's a sickening crack as her skull strikes the stone wall, and she falls to the floor. Her body starts to spasm, and she's making terrified noises that might have been screams, had they not been drowned in blood.

Gyokuen finds herself mildly interested in the sight, but Arba couldn’t care less. She gets up from the bed (wiping off the blade of the knife on the sheets and slipping it back into her sleeve as she does so) and leaves the room, closing the door with Shuuen still choking and convulsing on the floor.

‘How do you feel, love?’ she asks as they walk back down the hall. ‘I don’t feel much different than usual, but what is it like for you?’

She has to consider that for a moment. Arba had been right: it was very odd to feel her body move under someone else’s control. Not like a marionette on a puppeteer’s strings, but...something more. She still exists, but detached from her physical form, she isn't sure where she fits into all of this any more. Even so, she's still gotten exactly what she wanted. Her mother is here, and no one will ever try to separate them again. They will be one, sharing body and mind, forever.

‘I'll tell you when I have the words for it.’

She feels her mother smile. ‘All right, then.’

As they near the first room, the sound of rapid whispering carries into the hall. When they reenter, Ithnan and Falan immediately step back apart and fall silent, pretending they hadn’t been talking, and Arba smirks. “You know, you two aren't very subtle.”

Falan looks them up and down - sees their flushed face and disheveled clothes - and narrows her eyes. “I could say the same of you. Just what in the world were you doing to her in there?”

Arba laughs, absently smoothing back their hair. “Why, Falan, what do you think I was doing to my daughter in there?”

Falan huffs in irritation and leans back against the wall, while Ithnan gives a short, mirthless laugh. “Why should the girl be any concern of ours?” he reminds Falan, and then turns to Arba. “So, this is the part where you reveal that you were playing Gyokuen for a fool this entire time and never intended to share that body with her, right?”

“No, Ithnan,” Arba laughs, before Gyokuen has time to be alarmed. “I meant what I said to her. She’s still in here with me.”

She can’t see Ithnan’s face, but she’s had enough practice reading his eyes to know he’s scowling underneath that veil. “Arba, I told you, if I have to deal with that little brat for another few decades - ”

“You’ll live,” Arba dismisses him, crossing the room to leave. “She wants to help, so I’m letting her. I still have my uses for her outside of being my vessel.”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I never thought I’d live to see you spoiling one of your offspring this much.”

“There’s a lot we’ve lived to see, Ithnan, I don’t know why you’re surprised. And speaking of my offspring, I expect you two to have Shuuen’s body disposed of by the time I get back tomorrow,” Arba calls over her shoulder as she walks out the door.

‘You know they’re just going to start talking about us again as soon as we can’t hear, don’t you, Mother?’

‘I do the same to them. Fair’s fair.’

As they walk around the side of the building, the priests bow to them when they come near. The only one who’s not at all pleased to see them, it seems, is Ayumu. The horse’s ears twitch back and she paws the ground anxiously as they approach, and though she allows them to approach her and climb into the saddle, she’s quivering underneath her rider as a priest comes and unties her from her post.

‘What’s the matter with her?’ Gyokuen asks, taken aback. ‘She’s never behaved like this before.’

‘She knows I’m not you,’ Arba explains as she urges Ayumu into a careful trot, starting back home. ‘Animals are strange. They always know things that humans don’t. She’s not sure what’s going on, but she can sense that there’s something awfully wrong about us.’

‘Really?’

‘Oh, yes. I remember a few generations back, my newest vessel kept a pet dog, that she had for years; it rarely left her side. After I took her body, the second the dog laid eyes on me, it tried to bite me! Can you believe that?’

Gyokuen pauses to consider this new information. ‘Will it...Will it be the same with Toku? With our children? Will they shy away from us too?’

‘No, of course not. This is still your body, after all. Your touch, your scent, your voice, your heartbeat, it’s still all the same. True, young children can be very perceptive sometimes, but it’s very rare that they catch on that something’s different.’

‘Did I ever...?’

Arba laughs. ‘You never got the chance to. I took over Shuuen while she was still pregnant with you. The only one you’ve ever seen is me. And that reminds me...You still haven't truly seen me yet.’

‘What?’

‘I have one more surprise for you tonight, my love. Don't worry about the horse, I can handle it. I know the rukh is unfamiliar to you, but I don't think you'll have a problem. Just relax, close your eyes, and let yourself sink down to it - to the place where our souls are bound.’

She doesn't quite understand, but she decides again to let her instincts take over. She does as her mother orders, and feels something move. When she opens her eyes again, it's to another seemingly endless expanse of darkness, this one deep and shimmering and solid. There’s only one spot of color, of rich gold and white and red; only one other person in this place with her.

This woman doesn't tower over her the way her husband does, but Gyokuen still only comes up to her neck, now. Lean, hard muscles define her arms and abdomen. Thick braids fall down past her waist, and her russet eyes glitter with excitement. A welcoming smile curves her lips as she reaches a hand out to her daughter. “So? What do you think of me?”

This voice is stronger and more soothing than Shuuen’s was, and the sound of it makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. “This...This is what you really look like?”

“Yes. Within our rukh, I get to stay in my true form, that of my original body. You are the only one in a thousand years to see it firsthand.”

She should feel flattered, she knows. Honored, even. But at this moment, she can’t do anything but stare, mesmerized. “You’re beautiful. So, so beautiful.”

Arba laughs, and opens her arms invitingly. “As are you, my love. Now, come to me.”

Before the words are out of her mouth, Gyokuen is already running to her, clinging to her. It doesn’t matter that the form is different, she decides, laying her head against the older woman’s chest. The feeling of her mother’s arms holding her close is exactly the same. Arba runs gentle fingers through her hair and hums contentedly. “Are you happy now, darling?” she murmurs.

The steady sound of her mother's heartbeat is in her ears, and she never wants this moment to end. And in a way, it never will. Finally, they are one complete being, and for the first time in her life, she is satisfied. Nothing and no one can ever take this away from her.

“With you? Always.”

~0~

It’s a good dream. A painless one, where everything is hers and everything is right. She is content to float in this stupor until oblivion comes. Here, one with her mother, until they can both die together, as they have lived.

~0~

Even before she fully registers that her mother has, unusually abruptly, woken her up and given her control of their body without a word of explanation, she can tell that something is wrong.

The silence and emptiness at the back of her mind are the first tip-off, but she doesn’t think too hard about that, at first. It’s the way her stomach drops and her skin goes cold that shakes her.

And that's before she looks up to see her son, stalking towards her with a sword in his hand, and stark terror pierces her heart.

‘Mother?! Mother, where are you?!’

There's silence - no, there's less than silence, there's nothing. Arba is gone.

Hakuryuu is still coming, like a tiger advancing on wounded prey, staring unblinkingly into her eyes. Sunlight glints blindingly off of his blade. Behind him, Judal crosses his arms behind his head and grins like a maniac, eyes flicking between her and Hakuryuu. (From what her mother’s told her about what they did to the young Magi, she's not surprised that he's reveling in her impending murder.) Blood is gushing from her neck and arm and she feels like she's been trampled; how badly did they beat her mother?!

Her pulse is pounding in her ears. She can't get up, let alone try to run away; she wouldn't make it very far anyway before being cut down. There's not one knife left on her that she could use to protect herself. She knows that even in perfect condition, with all her weapons, she could never hope to win without her mother’s help. She can't breathe. She can't breathe. For the first time in her life, her mother is gone

(our daughter she's with our daughter now but i need you now I need you please don't leave me)

and she is alone.

It takes her a couple tries, but though her voice is weak, it still comes out.

“H-Hakuryuu...!”

She can't run, she can't fight, but there's still a slim chance of getting out of this alive. If she can talk him down, make him hesitate long enough for her to convince him that she's not the one he needs to kill, then maybe she’ll have a chance. She’ll say anything she has to to escape, anything to get back to her mother, anything to make Hakuryuu stop looking at her with fire and bloodlust in his eyes.

“S-Stop, Hakuryuu...I'm your mother...”

Hakuryuu doesn’t break stride, and there’s not the tiniest change in his stony expression. It’s like he didn’t even hear her. She couldn’t look away from him if she tried. All of a sudden, under the panic, her sister’s voice is in her head.

You know, one day you’re going to be in real trouble, aneue. And all the sweet-talking in the world isn't going to save you.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!

No, her sister’s wrong; keep talking, she just has to keep talking, her entire life has been a performance, she has to get the right words somehow!

“Hakuryuu...? Hakuyuu...”

The wrong name comes out completely unintentionally, but she can’t help it; he looks too much like his brother, fierce and vengeful and filled with hate, why couldn’t they have died together?! The mistake should help her, she has to sound as confused, frightened, and pitiful as she can. The act isn’t difficult at all, she’s hiding none of her fear.

“You...Where am I? What happened until now?”

She notices Judal’s grin slip off his face as he registers what she’s saying, and for a moment, she really is confused: he doesn’t know that she was possessed, does he? No, it hardly matters. The one she needs to get through to is her son. Her son, who stands over her shaking form and raises his sword, with no semblance of pity or mercy on his face. Her mouth goes dry, and she tries again to speak but nothing comes out, and still she can’t look away.

The fire still rages in his eyes, brighter and stronger than ever, but that won’t last forever, she can tell already. He will kill her here and for a moment he will feel the same rush through his veins that she once did, but it will be gone as soon as it comes, he will get no pleasure from her death, no resolution, because he’s not like their mother and he’s not like her, and without them, without revenge to drive him forward he will be left hollow, his life in ashes -

“It seems that you don’t understand, woman,” Hakuryuu snarls, making her jump. “I don’t care anymore! Die!”

The blade falls -

Some small part of her is surprised at how little it actually hurts. The cut is fast and clean, and shock and fear must be numbing the pain as her head flies from her shoulders. She feels her lips forming Hakuryuu’s name before she hits the ground, where she finds herself looking up at him again. Spattered with her blood, breathing hard and still clutching his sword tightly, blue eyes no longer monstrous but still shining with exhilaration, the image of him is striking.

Oh...My beautiful boy.

Despite everything, a smile stretches her lips. She had been right all along. He’s not like them. But he’s grown up just the way she knew he would: ruthless, strong, and dangerous.

Her body is destroyed, her mind is dulling, and she knows she has seconds to live. She knows that she will never see her mother again, in this life or the next. But there’s a chance that Hakuryuu will. If he lives to see his purpose in life revived, if he can grow even stronger, he will clash with Arba again.

I wish I could see that...

She starts to feel something else stirring around her, something she’s never noticed before. Is this the rukh? she thinks, and remembers the spell that Arba has placed on her all those decades ago. So many years, and she never thought twice about it, much less realized that its true purpose must be to cover Arba’s escape from one daughter’s body to the next. Perhaps it had been meant to keep her quiet about all of this, too, just in case.

She wonders whether Hakuryuu will even be able to figure out that his beloved sister is now gone, replaced by someone else entirely. She wonders whether he will go from there to realize that the same happened to her, whether he will pity her or grieve for her without knowing what she was truly like. She wonders, will it even matter how much either of her children know, or will Arba kill them both as easily as she killed their brothers? As easily as she left Gyokuen here to die?

Hakuryuu...I want to see you match her again...Like you must have done today, if you can pull the same tricks twice...

Heat is building up around her body. There’s a hum in the air that rises louder and louder every second, and the world around them starts to glow white. Hakuryuu looks confused, but horror flashes onto Judal’s face, and he starts to sprint towards them. She keeps smiling, keeps staring into Hakuryuu’s eyes for as long as she has left. If her mother’s face cannot be the last thing she sees before death, then she supposes her son will do.

I wish...I want to see you all...I want to see who wins - !

In an explosion of white fire, the world dies around her.

~0~

#magi #arba #ren gyokuen #ren hakuryuu #ren hakuei #ren hakuyuu #ren hakuren #ren hakutoku #judal #ithnan #kaen's fics

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