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#the fact that I'm very good at figuring out where things are going made me mildly frustrated by a lot of media as a child
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okay, Midst is very good, PLEASE listen to it, but also I realized that part of why I am so gleeful about Midst is that it not only features one of my favorite things (unreliable narrators) but also features one of my other favorite things (the narrative standing directly behind the characters with a gun)
case in point: spent the entirety of the episode last week feeling an intense amount of dread because I DID see the narrative standing directly behind the characters with a gun and then this week felt an intense amount of vindication when the gun fired
Rowan has said before that I am way too good at picking up on foreshadowing (I think I am a normal amount of good at it, but also recognize that I seem to correctly predict where things are going substantially more often than many of my friends), but also I am so gleeful that A. Midst does occasionally manage to clothesline me anyway (yes! it's fun to stop dead in the middle of the street due to Events and Revelations!) but also B. the narrative is built to be even more enjoyable when you pick up the foreshadowing because then the narrative is making pointed eye contact with you while standing behind the unsuspecting characters with a gun
anyway, this metaphor is getting away from me, please listen to Midst, I'm having a GREAT time
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inkskinned · 1 year
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
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sweetnans · 4 months
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"K', new situation"
The remote was out of your reach because you kept pausing the shows, and Katsuki had enough of watching every episode like there was a connection problem.
"Hit me," he said, resting his head on the wall of your dorm.
It became a habit that you and him watched shows together at your dorm, every Thursday night, no excuse. Last week, you started watching "Queen Charlotte," and even though Katsuki didn't want to watch the show, you convinced him to give it a chance, and now, he was the one who didn't want you to pause it.
"What if...-no, no, ok, let me start over." You tripped on your questions, and Katsuki found it adorable. "Imagine this, you are royalty and someone with more power than you, force you to marry someone you don't know...are you following me?" You paused at his quizzed face.
"Yeah, I am," he simply answered.
"So they force you to marry someone you don't know and you have no interest in. What would you do?"
"Mm, I would probably cheat on her multiple times, make her so unhappy, and be a dick of a husband," he side eyed you while answering because he couldn't get his eyes off of the screen and because he wanted to watch you freaking out at his answer. He could do both.
"Are you serious?" You couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. "Jesus, Katsuki, what an asshole"
You stomped to his body and reached the remote to put the show on pause.
"Not again. Why do you do this to me?" He whined. He was getting upset, but you were more upset because he wasn't taking serious the situation game.
"Why are you like that? Don't you think that maybe an arrangement marriage is the perfect occasion to find true love? You obviously skipped a step, but now you have all the time in the world to know a person, the details, the way they like their tea in the morning, the things that make them upset. I think it's lovely and romantic. " You day dreamed, and Katsuki couldn't bear the fact that you and him were so different. He liked it, finding a way to make opposites attract situations happened in his life.
"I think it's opposite ends. There's only two ways to go. It's extremely good or extremely bad"
"Yeah, you're right," you gave in. He was the one who didn't believe in love after all. You've had multiple boyfriends in the span of two years, always falling for the jerks, like Katsuki always said, but you never denied the opportunity of starting over. You put the show again and sank on your spot.
Your quietness made Katsuki uncomfortable. You spent the rest of the episode without pusing the show, not for situation game or going to pee and that was very weird of you.
Before the next episode started, Katsuki himself paused it.
"You didn't like what I said," he stated looking at you.
You were dissociating, actually, you weren't mad at him, you were just thinking about him, about how you were feeling towards his feelings, you were upset because you knew that If you had feelings for him (that you already had) he wouldn't give himself a chance with you and you would be head over heels for him, making the situation unfair to you and your feelings. What you were thinking wasn't any close to the situation that you gave him. It wasn't something settled between you and him. It was more about his vision of love, the opposite ends example.
"No, it's not that it's just -" you sighed. You didn't want to make things awkward between Katsuki and you. You found a steady ground where you could enjoy each other's company without making it any weird. "I don't know, Bakugo."
He seemed astonished.
"Mm, last name basis now, huh? Must be something serious. " he moved from his seat to put his figure in front of you. "Use your words, I know you can fucking talk"
Sometimes, he called yourself for eating his ear off because you couldn't shut up. He was trying to make you feel comfortable with him again.
"See, it's just... I'm feeling kinda worried about you because I've never seen you with someone else. I want you to find love, to be happy, to face love, and dare to take a chance on someone, you know? And maybe I'm misunderstanding things here, and you don't want any of that. " You stumble through your words, taking his face in. He looked like he was thinking, but his eyes were analyzing your face like it was the first time he ever saw you. "I don't want you to think that I'm pitying you -"
"I do want to experience love," he said, glancing briefly to your lips and then your eyes. "And maybe I'm just waiting for the right one," he muttered, getting closer to you.
You were stoic in your place. Thoughts running in your head, the gears in your brain trying to figure what was happening and if it was just a dream. Maybe you were just imagining things, and now you feared to take the wrong step.
"You do?" You asked, feeling his presence in your space asking whatever came to your mind so you could have more time to think about this situation.
"Yeah, but she keeps dating assholes"
He grinned a little, trying to give away the slightest clue about his feeling but the exact amount of it so you could realize what he was saying.
For his own luck, you were pretty clever sometimes.
"Well, maybe, no one ever showed her better." You squeezed yourself between his legs while he was still sitting with his legs crossed. He parted his legs at your movement and grabbed your waist to keep you close. "I dated assholes because you were too busy demonstrating you didn't care when I dated them"
"Is that so?" He asked humming.
"Yeap," you nodded like a child, playing with your hands in your lap, concentrating in them.
"I'm sorry for not interrupting sooner," he moved his head to his side, trying to catch your eyes.
"You better be," you told him, giggling. It was an unexplored field. You were distracting yourself for the upcoming event.
"We haven't even kissed yet, and you already have an attitude with me? Get a fucking grip" he joked while taking your hands apart.
"Jeez, you should check yourself and look for the stick that's up in your asshole. You are so dense sometimes. "
You pushed him slightly, and he tugged your hands against his chest, caging you without any escape routes.
"Just shut the fuck up"
Without any warning, he crashed his lips against yours with feverish force. His grip in your hands fell so he could touch every part of your body thoroughly. Your arms clinged behind his back, closing the gap between the two of you. Your fingers touched the nape of his neck, tugging his hair every time he bit your lips.
You two were out of air, so you were forced to step back a little. His nose touched yours, and he gave you soft pecks in your lips before opening his mouth.
"No more dating assholes" he warned.
"Mmhm," you nodded, biting your lip. "You better stop acting like one then"
Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.
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jealousmartini · 5 months
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⋆.˚ how I like to manifest ! .𖥔˚
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∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
To be honest, my kind of manifesting is like a lazy type because of how silly and laid back it is. It's good for loa babes like me who just wanna have fun manifesting, but don't wanna do too much.
But because of how complicated manifestation was made in the past years, you guys might see my manifesting as creative.
It just depends on how you, a master manifester, personally like to manifest compared to how I do things.
I like to call this process :
𐙚 shop, purchase, spawn ⋆.˚
Some of you read that and might be thinking "why is it shopping themed-" Silence. hear me out.
– what does it mean to "shop" and how to do it?
To shop means to browse, to look for, and to figure out what you want.
Like you would do before you go to a shop or even while you are in a shop, you would see something you like and wonder to yourself, "oo I really want this " or "Wouldn't it be so nice if I had this" or "Omg I have got to have that" something amongst those lines. This is the first half of my shopping process.
The second half is to look for whatever tickles my fancy and add it to my basket. But how do I do this, and where do I look for my desires? Literally anywhere. But my favourite shopping area is definitely pinterest (just like any other manifester), so let's use her as an example: To shop on pinterest would be to scroll or search for whatever my desire is. To place in a basket would be to sort it into a board.
– what do you mean "purchase", how to do it?
To purchase means to buy something; usually using digital or physical money. Or, in my case, to finalise the fact that it is mine/decide it's mine, by using affirmations!
Affirmations is my currency. When I give some affirmations, I lose some affirmations in order to "buy" my desire.
What I mean by this is that it's like a trade offer with myself. In order to buy my desires, I must trade in some limiting beliefs I have about the desire with new ones that support the fact the desire is now mine. Do you get it?
I traded my old beliefs for new beliefs for my desire in return!
– what does it mean to "spawn", how to do it?
To spawn means to appear very quickly or from nowhere in seconds. For me though, this would just be a simple word for "instant delivery" or "instant reality shift".
Now this is all spawning is. It is me shifting my reality to one where everything is the same but my desired affirmations have materialised instantly. To spawn a desire is to instantly shift to a reality where my affirmations about having my desire has materialised.
I love to spawn my desires instead of going through the process of having to collect it from somewhere (which IS still the manifestation of my affirmations but I'm just too lazy dude☠️😭)
𐙚 the world is a supermarket, and everything is free ! .𖥔˚
This is where my silly imagination gets creative, yall. I'm about to put you guys on some "shops" where you can "purchase" your specific desires from. Here are some obvious ones:
— what you can "buy" on pinterest !
Clothes, Shoes, Accessories, Wigs
Face claims, Body claims
Houses, Apartments/Penthouses
Food claims
Vehicle claims
Aesthetic claims
— what you can "buy" on tiktok ! (And youtube)
Song/Audio claims
voice claims/Accent claims
Face claims, body claims, personality claims
Fame claim
Aesthetic claims
Closet claims
Significant other claims (platonic or romantic)
Relationship trope claims
Room claims (bedroom,bathroom living rooms etc)
— what you can "buy" on Google maps
Houses, Apartments/Penthouses
Islands (😭)
Environment claims
Vacation spots
— what you can buy with your phone camera
I really love using my phone camera to shop for new desires guys because you can take a picture of ANYTHING.
You want to live in a specific neighbourhood? Take a picture of it and purchase is. Want the cutest clothe set you just saw in the window of a store? Take a picture and purchase it.
∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
Anyway thats all I have to say for now.
CIAO!!😙💋
Tags I'm tryna put some cool loa babes on. Tell me what you guys think : @esotericc-angel @etherealkissed88 @edwadio @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @nondualiber @ponchigg @ningsols @themanifestingbrat @4ellieluv @dollfaceirene @babygothprincess @revrealities
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reiderwriter · 5 months
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Flirting with the FBI
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Word count: 7.1k
Request: Hiiii!! This is my first time requesting anything on this app, but Spencer reid has me in a chokehold. So, I was thinking that the reader is the unsub, and she's like this very good hacker who keeps teasing the fbi cause she's bored or something so she keeps sending hints about who she is or where she is but they keep getting nothing on her. And all of this just keeps getting on Spencer's nerves. And so when Spencer finds her, she keeps teasing him and acting like a brat so he "disciplines" her and takes her roughly and maybe a bit of spanking???
Warnings: a lot tbh - mentions of case details, mentions of domestic violence and police brutality, reader is a possible target of a serial killer, bad tech skills from the writer who really couldn't be bothered to do anymore research than the actual CM writing team, rough Dom Spencer, brat reader, sexual innuendo, semi-public sexual play, spanking, dirty talk (good girl, brat etc.) fingering, raw sex/creampie, aftercare, slight dacryphilia (crying kink) and bimbofication.
A/N: My last fic was a heartwarming family fic, and now I'm back to being depraved. Apologies to anyone here for cute fluff 😭
Masterlist
You always thought hacking the FBI mainframe would be hard, but it's one of the easiest things you've done all week.
If they were going to sit around doing nothing while a serial killer ran around in their own backyard, then obviously, they needed a helping hand. Or a helping poem or two.
Getting into their security camera feed was just an added bonus.
You grabbed your bowl of popcorn and settled into your desk chair, clicking open the window to find which room exactly they would gather in to freak out together.
You made sure to get their attention, blacking out all the computers in the office as they ran to a backroom where a very distraught looking blonde woman was sat. She was evidently the go-to tech support of about six agents who quickly ran to her room to figure out what the issue was. It was show time.
“There once was a serial killer,
Who ate boys and girl both for his dinner,
He cut, diced and slashed,
Left the feds quite abashed,
So I leave this message to be clearer”
The poem scrolled onto their screen on a loop, flashing in and out quickly before you let the computer systems relax again.
You thought they'd panic, scramble for a pen or paper or something, but none of the agents moved until the flashing was over.
You watched curiously as an older man took charge of the scene, likely directing the woman at the desk to figure out who you were, where you lived, and what your social security number was. She got to work quickly, and he moved on to the other agents.
None of them had written the poem down. None had even taken a picture, but one man started talking, and for a while, all eyes and attention in the room were focused solely on him. His hands moved as his mouth did, as if he were casting a spell over the room as he spoke. Even more intriguing was the fact that he rarely seemed to make eye contact with any of them as he spoke. He wasn't conversing or giving directions. He was simply talking.
And you really wanted to listen in.
The younger man began to walk and you watched him quickly pace over to a whiteboard, switching from one feed to another as he made his way there, and pick up a pen before notating the poem perfectly.
Whoever this man was, he was making you feel more and more excited about the game of cat and mouse you had begun with the FBI. You weren't entirely sure if he was to be the cat or the mouse, though.
A few days later, they'd seemingly lost the motivation to work, so you again did their job for them.
With another accompanying limerick to help them along, of course.
“There once was a bullpen full of agents,
Who thought they were very surveillant,
But a simply code crack,
And there system did hack,
A young girl who lived quite adjacent.”
This time, you let the words linger on the screen longer, as you slipped your information into their files, leaving more bread crumbs they could follow to the real villain.
The Agent - Doctor, you had since learned - took up his pen once again and scribbled your first poem next to your most recent.
Doctor Spencer Reid. An IQ of 187, three PhDs and however many Bachelor's Degrees, a member of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, and, as you could somehow tell from the grainy security footage, incredibly attractive man.
He was calm, again talking with his hands as he notated, again drawing the rooms attention like he was the sun and everything needed to orbit him to sustain life. You wondered what it would be like to fluster him.
Typing something out quickly, you broke back into the FBI system. It was risky doing it again so soon again, knowing that their tech analyst was already actively hunting you down, cyber-wise. But you couldn't resist.
“The tall, dark and handsome employee,
How I do wish that he could enjoy me,
I would gladly submit,
we match wit for wit,
But he's trying his best to arrest me.”
The BAU team stood silent on the camera before the two women on the team burst into rambunctious laughter. The camera feed was archaic, black and white, and grainy to boot, but even you couldn't miss the red stain against Doctor Spencer Reid's cheeks. A bonus was the other gentlemen subtly posturing, trying to figure out exactly which of them was “tall, dark, and handsome.”
The payoff for that poem was so great that over the course of the next few days, you kept serenading him with love poems among your quick hints about the actual crime being committed.
You'd first suspected the man of being dangerous when you'd seen the state of his wife. 19 domestic disturbance calls in two months, 0 arrests, and 1 very cushy job as a police detective. You'd done some simple computer programming for your local precinct, inputting data from cases into an algorithm that helped track everything easier, so you'd been intimate with cases that he'd handled.
A pattern had emerged, a series of murders of “undesirables,” people the city didn't care about when alive and certainly didn't have the resources to allocate to after their deaths. Prostitutes, the homeless, and runaway foster kids. All missing or dead, all cases handled by the same officer. The officer that lived next door to you and was one beer away from beating his wife into submission 5 days a week.
After your third 911 call, you'd been notified of your contract termination with the precinct. After the tenth, you noticed parole cars driving by every hour.
By call number 19, you were sure it was a miracle he hadn't tried to have you arrested.
So you turned back to the FBI to see what they could do about a man who treated his wife, and basically everyone else, like scum of the earth.
“Please don't get sidetracked by my hacking,
I'm a good girl, your team I am backing,
the killer, you see,
Is right now hunting me,
You're the ones who can do better tracking.”
You watched the tension snap back into place in the office as, for the first time, Spencer Reid was silent at your message. They all got back to work quickly, going over the files you'd dropped in their servers.
That night, Spencer Reid stayed in the office late, reading through piles and piles of files and looking for the connection he needed. You watched in pity, feeling almost guilty that you'd placed this burden on him instead of just approaching them honestly. But you'd called the police before, and it hadn't worked, so getting attention anyway you could was the only way to go.
You watched for so long that you began noticing his small habits. Each time you sensed frustration, he would run a hand through his hair and tug it slightly. When he found something, he leaned in closer to the page, as if his proximity to the words would make them clearer. Finally, he stood and began clearing his files. But you weren't quite ready to sign off yet, the shouting already beginning in the apartment next to yours, so you quickly typed out the first thing that came to mind to get him to stay.
“There once was a doctor called Reid,
Who I simply and truly just need,
I would lie on my back,
And then let him attack,
Any inch of my body with his seed.”
He fumbled the files in his haste to remove your words from his screen, from every screen now in the building, face awash with embarrassment as he looked around for some sign that no one witnessed your words.
Luck was not to be had as the tech analyst - Penelope Garcia - came shooting out of her office to join him in the near empty bullpen, and the older team leader - Aaron Hotchner - also looked out over the bannister from his office as they bore witness to your seduction.
You were driving Spencer Reid crazy.
He'd spent the last two weeks tracking down a serial killer who may or may not exist based on the word of a set of limericks delivered to the BAU through illegal means that had begun unabashedly flirting with him.
This latest limerick was his last straw.
“The cameras are how I can see you,
I do find myself enjoying the view,
His hair is so fine,
I wish he was mine,
The agent with more PhDs than two.”
“Another score, pretty boy, it was about time someone noticed your good looks instead of your brain for once.” Morgan patted him on the shoulder, barely containing his glee and laughter.
“She's watching us through security feed, and that's all you have to say?” he grumbled, writing out this limerick again, the words to the others burned into his brain. “She's playing with me.”
“It sure sounds like she'd enjoy doing just that,” Emily laughed from her desk, “but I think she might be right, Spencer. Every case file she's given us has suspicious activity on it. They're all unsolved, but the victims aren't linked.”
“He's crossing race and gender boundaries, but he's hitting undesirables.”
They had a case because of you. It didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy handcuffing you and putting you in a cell once this was all finished.
“WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE,” Penelope shouted from her office, to no avail. If it was at one computer, it was on all of them.
“The agents grew closer by day,
As the killer wanted to escape,
He paced across the floor,
As I watched by his door,
Getting closer than the agents could say.”
He paused then for a second, thinking through each of the limericks in turn and the panic began.
“Closer than… Emily, the officer that took in all of the cases, what was his name?”
“Officer Falstaff, why?”
“I think he might be our killer. And I think he knows she's on to him, or if he doesn't, he will soon.” He stood suddenly, grabbing a file and sprinting to Penelope’s office, Emily and Morgan trailing close behind.
“Spencer, wait-”
“No time. If we want them both alive, we have to move now.”
Throwing the door to Penelope’s room open, he didn't even bother with niceties.
“Can you get her a message?” He demanded, panting from the short run.
“A wha-? Spencer, what are you talking about?”
“Can you send the hacker a message? Or leave her one so she can find it when she comes?”
Penelope swivelled around in her chair once again, doing who-knows-what to answer his question.
“There's no telling what she actually sees in our servers, Spencer, we didn't see any breach in classified files, the only thing she's done is read your personal file and drop us hints.”
His hands closed into fists as he nodded along. “So no?”
“No, Spencer, I'm sorry. Why? Are you starting to grow fond of our little helper.”
“She's not our little helper. She's a criminal. And she'll be dead soon if I don't confirm with her that we have the right guy - excuse me.”
The anger was washing over him now, as he left the room to get some air, getting only as far as the corridor before slamming an open palm into the wall and resting his forehead against it for a moment, just thinking.
The stress of the case was almost too much for him as he turned around and rested his back against the wall, sliding down it until he was sat on the floor. He may have despised you at that moment, but he didn't want you to get yourself killed.
Something nagged him, still, some stress or anger that hadn't yet surfaced, or some case fact he was missing. A glint at the corner of his eye had him looking up to the camera currently trained directly on him.
Computers are useless, he thought to himself, when you can send a letter.
The next time you sat down at your desk, you weren't exactly shocked to see an up close and personal shot of Aaron Hotchner - they'd turned your security stream into a one way facetime and you were sat directly opposite the big boss himself in an interrogation room.
“Checkmate, I guess,” you said, waiting for the man to move.
A signal from behind the camera let him know you were online and watching. He picked up a pen and paper and scribbled down something before holding the note out to you once more.
The name and location of the bastard next door. They'd done it, and now you simply had to drop your evidence, shut down your computer, and wait for the sirens to sound.
You felt slightly sad typing out your last message, knowing that you had no more reason to stay in touch with the team now. Still, you were only human and couldn't resist the chance to say something more.
“Aaron Hotchner and his clever team,
Working with you has been like a dream,
When Reid comes it is wet,
And my mind is all set,
Oh, I do wish that he'd make me cream.”
The camera turned seconds after your message was sent, and there he was, reading intently, frow creased in annoyance as he tried to remain calm. He, too, picked up a pen and paper.
“I have questions,” the paper said when he turned it around. Holding it up for a few seconds before returning his pen to paper. You typed out a message before he could finish dictating his, though.
“When you find me there's lots for me to say,
I can't help simply feeling this way,
Your profile I read,
Can't believe you're a Fed,
I yearn for you all night and day.”
Somehow, the lines between his brow deepened as he quickly scribbled out another message. This one wasn't a question, though. It was simply two words.
He'd written your name on that paper. He'd found you.
You weren't sure if the tingle that ran up your spine was fear or anticipation. One one hand, you'd likely committed multiple felonies in the pursuit of justice, and the SWAT team about to pick up the killer was going to knock for you, too. On the other hand, it was pretty much a given that you would be seeing Spencer Reid in person in the next few hours.
“The Doctor had finally cracked it,
The only identity that could fit,
The pretty young thing,
Who'd been flirting with him,
And was thinking of sitting on his…”
You sent a second message along with the first.
“I couldn't make this one rhyme, Doc. Come and get me.”
The sound of the FBI outside your neighbour's door had you stepping away from the computer finally. It was time to get ready to see him. You stepped out of your robe and into the shower as you waited to be collected and hauled into a police vehicle.
xxx
So far, you were a bit disappointed by the look of the BAU offices. It was smaller than it appeared on the CCTV, and you hadn't exactly given the tour. Unless the whole tour was the wall from the elevators, through the bullpen and straight to interrogation room one. You were also slightly embarrassed that you had yet to be greeted by any of your favourite characters yet. The lead swat officer had led you in some desk agents dropping by to have you fill out some simple documents - waiving your rights and all that. You'd seen not even a single member of the BAU since dropping in two hours ago, but you felt his eyes on you.
You faced the mirror, trying your best to stare straight through it and into the man beyond.
Spencer Reid was there. He had to be. He was too curious to be anywhere else. You smiled at him through the mirror and waited.
You were right, of course. Spencer stood on the opposite side of the one-way window and watched you look for him in every inch of the glass. He watched you squirm when you couldn't find anything, watched you pick at your nails as he made you wait.
He watched you cross and uncross your legs, the short skirt you'd slipped into just before you left providing just enough mystery to catch his eye and his breath.
He was annoyed, frustrated, a little bit impressed, anxious, and - to his peril - turned on.
“Spencer,” Hotch said, breaking the man's concentration. “We can't keep her that much longer. Go in and say something, or I'll cut her loose.”
Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away and stepped out of the waiting room before letting himself into yours.
“Miss Y/N, my name is Doctor Spencer Reid, I'm a profiler working with the Behavioural An-”
“You're joking, right?” You asked, eyes lighting up, spine straightening as you looked up at the man. “I know who you are, Doc.”
“Please call me Doctor Reid,” he asked, setting down a file on the table and looking over the desk at you.
“Oh, I don't even get your first name.” You lifted your leg and ran it along the side of his until he moved his chair back, just out of reach. You pouted as he began reading through documents, asking you to confirm exactly which technical breaches you were responsible for.
“And the breach at 1:27pm on Thursday 5th-”
“Yes, that was me, too. They were all me, Doc, is that all? Are we finished now?”
“I don't know, are we finished? Can I leave?”
“No,” you shouted, just as he stood up to gather his things. “No, don't go. I want to talk to you.”
He sat back down, finally looking at you instead of words on a page.
“Do you enjoy attention, Miss Y/N?” He asked, voice cold but gaze burning like fire into your skin.
“As much as anyone does.”
“Do you enjoy my attention?” The words hung between you for a few minutes as you watched him carefully, searching for the right answer.
“What do you think, Doc?”
“Doctor Spencer Reid,” he repeated reflexively.
“I know your name,” you smiled, and he finally looked away, breaking contact to regroup for a second.
“We have reason to believe you used your backdoor into our system to access my personal file, is that correct?” It may have been asked as a question, but Spencer Reid already knew the answer.
“Yes, I did.”
“Why?”
You laughed at the simple question, sure that your behaviour until this point was evidence enough to answer it.
“Why? Because you're attractive and your smart and-”
“Why haven't you used the content of the files as leverage? I've been digging at you for the last half hour, and you have plenty of ammunition to throw back at me, yet you haven't. Why?”
For the first time in a while, you were speechless.
“Oh. Wow. Should I have said something? Would you have felt more comfortable if I were a horrible person using your background to make you feel vulnerable?”
“Why, Y/N?”
You sighed and looked back up at him.
“I'm interested in you. That's it. Honestly, there is nothing in your file more interesting than how you look running your hands through your hair.”
His jaw clenched and unclenched before he let out a sigh.
“So you're a compulsive liar.” He said it so finitely it was like a kick in the teeth.
“Or maybe you're just insecure. I can help with that.”
He shot you another warning look as a grin spread over your lips. Yes, it was very fun to mess with Spencer Reid.
“FBI Agents aren't allowed to sleep with suspects.”
“You want to sleep with me?”
His eyes went wide as he realized his mistake, mouth opening and closing as he tossed another annoyed look in your direction.
The door to the interrogation room opened, and Reid quickly bolted out of his seat as Aaron Hotchner entered. The two men shared a nod before the younger man left the room entirely.
“Such a shame, I thought we were really getting somewhere.”
To your surprise, Hotchner’s lips curled up in a laugh as he sat down, straightening his suit.
“Miss Y/N, we've reviewed the information you've given us and taken into account your motives, and the FBI has decided not to prosecute you for your actions.”
You sat for a minute, Hotch doing the same, the both of you caught waiting for each other to say something or continue.
“But?” You prodded, knowing there was more left to say.
“But, we'd ask for your cooperation on cases in the future that require technological man-power. In a consultancy role, of course. You wouldn't be given a badge or a gun or any clearance, and you'd need to be with an agent at all times.”
You tapped your fingers against the desk, trying to figure out if this deal was beneficial or not.
“I'll do it if I can pick the Agent.”
Now, the man was fully smiling at you or giving you what you assumed passed for a smile in his books.
“We had recommended Doctor Reid for the role. Of course, if you're more comfortable with another agent, you can-”
“Doctor Reid is perfect, thank you.”
The man nodded and stood, and you stood with him as he led you quietly out of the room.
A flustered Spencer Reid exited the adjoining room, hurrying to catch Hotch before he really signed his life away to you.
“Hotch, what is this?” He demanded, stopping the man in his tracks. They both paused, turning around and moved a few feet awaywfrom.you whispering out their argument.
You couldn't catch most of it, but you did happen to catch the phrases “man-eater,” “I'm not good with people,” and “Spencer, this will be good for you.” Victory in the end went to Hotch, who promptly turned on his heel and kept walking down the hall.
“I work here now,” you said, grinning up at Spencer.
“No, you don't.”
“According to your boss, I do. And you're my babysitter.”
“You're a criminal. You hacked into the FBI database to leave ominous clues to multiple murders.”
“If you call those ominous clues, I'm curious how people usually flirt with you.”
“They don't. Why…why are we having this conversation?”
He stormed off ahead of you, and you quickened your pace to catch up to him, following him down a familiar hallway to what was obviously tech central at the BAU.
“Spencer, seriously? You're walking around looking like that, and no one hits on you?”
He stopped abruptly, and you ran into his back before he turned around to scowl at you again.
“Can we keep this serious, please?”
“I'm very serious about flirting with you, and I'm stumped why more people aren't.”
“Okay, let's go somewhere and talk,” his hand landed on your waist, readying his grip to forcibly move you if need be.
“I thought that's what we were doing.” Instead of allowing him to move you, you leaned into his touch, stepping closer and raising a hand to his chest, as his head dipped to maintain eye contact.
“No, this isn't talking, this is some weird foreplay I've never heard of, and I'd like you to leave my office if you're going to continue,” the woman sat at the desk exclaimed, horror and amusement fighting a battle for her facial expressions. “I like to keep my office a no trauma zone, so please take a walk to the nearest bed or storage closet or car and you can shove your tongues down each other's throats in peace and out of my sight, please and thank you.”
Spencer tried to step away, but a hand on his tie kept him close and kept his eyes on you. You poked your head out around him and smiled at the other woman.
“Sorry to disturb you. I'm Y/N. Based on the tech, I assume we will be working with each other soon.”
“Oh my gosh, you were, like, my number one most hated person last week. Penelope Garcia, tech analyst.”
“I'm sorry about that. If it makes it any better, it was really hard to get past some of your firewalls. And I couldn't even touch the classified files.”
“Apology accepted, on the condition that you lead young Reid out of my office right now before he explodes.”
You grinned and grabbed the man's hand, sending Penelope a quick goodbye as you pulled him out of the room.
He stumbled behind you for a few moments before catching up and pulling you in a different direction, keeping your hands intertwined as he bee-lined for the elevators and pushed the button to go down.
It arrived, and he pulled you in, not releasing your grip until the doors were fully closed and you were alone.
“Getting me all alone, Doc? What do you have in mind?”
“I'm driving you home.”
“My apartment is a crime scene, and I have no family in the city.”
“What about friends?”
“I've been stalked by a homicidal police officer for the last month and barricaded myself into an apartment. Do you think I have friends?”
His gaze was somewhat softer as he looked at you again. You saw the math happening in his head as he tried to figure out what to do with you. You also saw his brain short circuiting when you wrapped yourself around his arm.
“We're friends now, Doc. Isn't that right?”
“What?”
“We're friends,” you repeated again, tone becoming a little defensive in a pout.
“We are not friends, Y/N. We've known each other for less than 6 hours, and we haven't engaged in any friendly conversation.”
“We've known each other for two weeks, and I've been more than friendly enough for the both of us.”
The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Gesturing for you to go first, Spencer hurried you out of the elevator and into the parking garage.
“Trust me, Spencer, deep down, part of you really wants to be friends with me,” you said poking his chest with a finger. You couldn't resist flattening your hand against his surprisingly hard chest and letting the hand drop slightly.
“And an ever deeper down part of you doesn't want to be friends at all,” you smiled at him.
He caught your wrist before it could reach his belt buckle, your unconscious finish line, spinning you around and dragging you to his car.
The biting cold of metal cutting into your wrists was the first indication that maybe Spencer Reid wasn't as easy to mess with as you'd hoped. He closed the handcuffs around your wrists and handed you into the car as you gaped at him.
“Spencer!”
“Doctor Spencer Reid.”
“I’m not a criminal, Spencer, let me go.”
“I'll let you go when you prove to me you can behave.”
You pouted as he strapped you into the car and closed the door, walking around to the passenger side before letting himself in.
“What's next? Are you going to gag me?” You scoffed as he turned over the engine and began backing out of the parking lot.
“No. I think you'd enjoy that too much.”
The drive to Spencer's apartment was long and quiet as you sat pouting in the passenger seat. Every few seconds, you twisted and moved your arms, fidgeting left and right so he could see how much the restraints bothered you. Luckily, he'd handcuffed your hands in front of your body, so you still sat somewhat comfortably, but you didn't want him to know that.
He pulled up to the building and turned off the engine, pulling out his keys.
“Let's go,” he said, not even sparing you a look as he climbed out.
“Spencer, I'm handcuffed. How do I even get out?”
“You'll figure it out. You're a smart girl, right?”
He closed his door and began walking, and you quickly fumbled your way out.
“Spencer… Spencer, your neighbours are going to ask questions about you bringing a handcuffed girl into your apartment!” You whispered at him as you paced behind him, somehow running to catch up with his mere walk.
“I don't have neighbours like you, Y/N. They won't notice a thing.”
“Right, okay. And when you murder a dozen people over a six month period, they won't hack the federal government.” You rolled your eyes as he unlocked the door, taking your arm and finally handing you into the apartment.
It was dark and cold, and you shivered, feeling his body pushed in right behind yours, closing the door before he felt around for the light switch.
When the lights turned on, you blinked, adjusting to the light again as he walked you further into the apartment, hands on your hips as you slowly stumbled forward.
“Can you take the handcuffs off now?” You asked, looking over your shoulder at him.
“And let you touch my things? No.”
You shook off his hands and walked further into the room.
“You know I can still mess with your stuff with my hands tied up like this,” you said, walking to the nearest bookshelf.
“Whoops, look at that,” you said, pulling a book off the shelf and letting it fall to the floor between you with a thud.
“Y/N!” He exclaimed, voice pitched up in exasperation.
“Oh, this stack of books on the ground looks well organized. Oopsie!” You acted out tripping over the books, sending them flying in different directions.
“One more time, Y/N, mess with my stuff one more time-”
You didn't hear the words as you pulled yet another book off his shelf and let it tumble to the ground.
He was on you in seconds, lifting your wrists and pinning them to the top shelf, pressing his body against yours as he stretched you out.
You gasped at both the sudden contact and the tight grip he now had on your hands.
“Tell me, do you actually want to be in control, or do you just think you should want to be in control?”
“What's the difference?”
“The difference is how much you enjoy it. I think you're only being a brat to get a rise out of me. You're doing this because there's no one else in your life that will give you exactly what you crave."
"And what would that be?"
"Attention," he whispered into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
“Great, thanks for the therapy. Are you going to show me how much I can enjoy relinquishing control now?”
“Brat,” he spat at you.
“Fed,” you spat back.
“You have a problem with law enforcement?” He asked, his breath hitting your ear as you tried not to shiver again at his touch.
“My neighbour was a serial killer whose day job was police brutality," you said, as if the answer was obvious, but Spencer still stared, waiting for true confirmation.
“Yes I have a problem with law enforcement. What, are you going to spank me?”
His eyes lit up, and you suddenly wondered if you'd made a mistake.
“You'd like that, wouldn't you?”
“N-No.” You stuttered, but he'd already begun moving you over to his couch.
“It was a joke. Spencer, it was a joke, don't-”
You underestimated his strength as he flipped you around and guided you down over his lap. Keeping your hips raised, he used one hand to hold you down while the other pushed up your tight skirt.
“S-Spencer, I really don't think-”
“Then don't think,” he said, bringing his hand down hard on your ass as you cried out in shock and pain.
“Stop thinking. You think too much, let me do it for you.”
With each hit, your shock grew fuzzy, melting into pleasure as you felt wetness pooling between your thighs.
The doctor you thought would be an easy target was not sadistically returning every teasing word back to you with his hands, letting bruises blossom all over your ass as he delivered painfully arousing strikes.
His hand stopped and he rubbed your ass as you twitched at the gentleness, panties sticking to the folds of your cunt as you absent mindedly pushed up into his touch.
“See, now you're listening,” he said, fingers trailing down to touch you over the sopping undergarments.
With two quick fingers, the crotch of your panties peeled away from your skin and he was plunged deep inside you, fingers pressing in as his thumb found its way to your clit.
“Fuck, Spencer-”
“Doctor Reid. You can use my full title now or you don't get to cum.”
“D-Doctor Reid, please!” His thumb rubbed slowly over your clit bit his fingers didn't move as you shuddered and contracted around them.
“Please what?” He asked, voice light as if he wasn't two knuckles deep in you already.
“Please make me cum, Doctor Reid!”
“Good manners,” he said as he finally began pumping his digits in and out of you, spreading your legs wider as you clawed your hands into his couch cushions to ground yourself in the moment. His spare hands left your wrists, and you felt them again, delivering small, almost cute hits to your ass as you twitched around his fingers, shying away from the painful contact.
“That's it, Y/N, let yourself relax,” he whispered, shifting his weight underneath you as you became aware of the tent in his pants.
Your brain was jello as you tried to bounce back on his fingers, chasing your oncoming orgasm.
“Look at you, trying to cum on my hands. You're just an attention-seeking slut, right?”
His fingers continued ppimg as your tongue hung loosely in your mouth.
“Answer me, or I'll leave you here high and dry, Y/N. Tell me you're an attention seeking slut that's been fingering yourself to the thought of this for weeks.”
“I-I'm an a-atten…tion seeking s-slut,” you stifled a moan and bit back tears as he pressed another finger inside of you. “Spencer I can't I need to cum,” you cried, tears spilling down your cheeks pathetically.
“Say it.”
“I'm an attention seeking s-slut that's been th-thinking about this-”
“Fingering yourself,” he corrected.
“Fingering myself to the thought of this for w-weeks,” you cried, sniffing now as your thighs shook in anticipation.
“What a nasty little slut,” he said as you finally came, your cum running down his fingers as he kept his hands moving.
Your tears were falling freely now as you bit back little sobs and chokes of emotions, the pleasure from the orgasm almost too much to handle.
Underneath you, Spencer shifted, freeing himself from his position and laying you fully down on the sofa as your legs still shook.
“There once was a doctor called Reid,” he said, unzipping his pants as he took up his place behind you.
They were your words, and your body signalled warnings everywhere as his hands pulled your hips up once more, pulling your knees up too to bend under you, laying you face down ass up.
“Who I simply and truly just need.”
He pulled the panties down to the crook of your knees before leaning down over you so he could deliver the next few lines as whispers into your ear.
“I would lie on my back, And then let him attack, Any inch of my body with his seed.”
A weak moan escaped your lips as he sank his cock inside of you, lips still pressed against your ears.
“I don't want you on your back, though. I much prefer you like this.”
His cock slid out of you and returned with a speed and strength that had your eyes rolling back in your head.
He was thick, maybe a little longer than average, and he filled you perfectly using your cum as lubricant.
“Such a good listener, now, Y/N. I like you like this,” he said with a moan, thrusting hard and deep inside of you.
You didn't talk. You could only drool and moan into his couch as he emptied your brain one thrust at a time.
You didn't think about how he wasn't wearing a condom. You didn't think about how he'd spat your words back at you, ready to fill you with his seed. You just sat in a pool of your own pleasure and let Spencer Reid use your body as you'd been begging him to for weeks.
He raised your hips and gave one last thrust, stilling there for a second as he filled your empty body and mind with his cum and his entire being.
If you weren't obsessed with Doctor Spencer Reid before this, you certainly were now.
He pulled out of you quickly, wiping his cock on your skirt before hurrying off to the bathroom to clean up.
Your brain was still absent when he returned, cleaning you off and finally removing the handcuffs. He removed your clothes, replacing them with his spares as he threw the soiled ones into the wash.
When you regained your wits or what was left of them, you were laid out in his bed, wrapped in a blanket and stuffed into a sweater and sweats, fully covered from head to toe. Spencer was picking up his keys and trying his shoelaces.
“Where are you going?’ You asked sleepily, stumbling to the doorway. Your legs were still shaky, and your movement was already limited. You knew that tomorrow, the use of your limbs would be nonexistent.
“Back to the office. Now that you're not around, maybe I'll be able to get some actual work done.”
“Spencer,” you said, forcing him to turn around to look back at you.
Before he could say anything else, you pressed your lips to his, hot and needy, wrapping your arms around his neck as he kissed back, slipping his tongue into your mouth and pressed you into the wall next to the door.
When you both pulled away for breath, you detangled your limbs, smoothing out his shirt and readjusting his tie.
He looked down at you, waiting for you to say something else as you met his gaze, grinning at him.
“I look forward to working with you, Doctor Reid.”
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Text
Very first - Lewis Hamilton NSFW
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Request: First time with Lewis. I had 5 requests for that and I hope I did it justice (sorry for how long it took for a couple of those requests)
pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!
warnings: unprotected sexual activities, all sorts.
Wrap it before you tap it.
wordcount: +5K
a/n: Haven't written in first person in so long, but all the drafts felt better like this. Also, it's huge, ops. Hope you guys like it.
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!
EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT
______________________________________________________________
It was easy with him, too easy maybe, but that's what made it so damn nice.
“So,” I started, turning to him with a half-smile. “You want to come up?”
We’d spent the morning driving through the countryside, talking about everything and nothing—his races, my job, the ridiculousness of the price of avocados.
His eyes met mine, and I could see the question there, like he was trying to read me. “You sure?”
It was cute that he was being cautious, but come on, we both knew why I was asking. I nodded, keeping my voice light. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the countryside air or just the fact that we had spent the day away from the madness of London, but today felt different.
Calmer, somehow.
I led him up the stairs to my apartment, trying not to think too much about how it had been a while since I’d let anyone in here.
Literally and figuratively.
“Welcome to my humble abode” I said, pushing the door open and stepping inside.
He hesitated in the doorway, taking it all in.
My place was small, but it was mine—books, plants, a blanket that I was probably too attached to. It wasn’t flashy like the places he was used to, but I liked that about it.
“Nice place,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.
“It does the job” I replied with a shrug, kicking off my shoes. “Make yourself at home.”
He followed suit, slipping off his sneakers and setting them neatly by the door. “It suits you. Feels… grounded.”
I let out a soft laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
He leaned against the counter as we headed into the kitchen to grab some water.
But when handed him the glass, and our fingers brushed, it was fireworks all over again. God, how was I still reacting like a teenager with a crush?
“Thanks,” he said, taking a sip. “So, today was fun.”
“It was,” I agreed, taking a drink to give myself something to do with my hands. “It’s nice to get out of the city for a bit. The countryside’s got this whole other vibe.”
“Yup” he said, setting his glass down. “Nice to just… let it go.”
“Even from the racing?” I teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Especially from the racing,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
There was a beat of silence, and I could feel the shift in the air between us, that tension that had been simmering since our last date starting to bubble up again.
The last time… well, things had gotten pretty heated until his phone rang, snapping us both out of it.
It was a close call, but I’d pulled back, sticking to my rule. No rushing into things. I’d done that before, and it never ended well.
But this time, he was making it very hard for me to stick by that rule.
I wanted him, and from the way he was looking at me, I’d take a pretty good guess he wanted me too.
I took a step closer, letting my hand find his. That simple touch was all it took for the tension to skyrocket, and before I knew it, we were closing the distance between us, lips crashing together in a kiss that was anything but tentative.
His hands were on my waist, pulling me closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
God, the man could kiss.
It was the kind of kiss that made you forget where you were, who you were, and why you ever thought not doing this was a good idea. His lips were soft, but the way he kissed me was anything but.
There was urgency there, a hunger that only fueled into my own, and I could feel it in every brush of his lips, every tug of his fingers on my shirt.
I pressed myself against him, deepening the kiss as I let my hands roam up his back, memorizing the feel of him.
The muscles there were as solid as they looked, and I couldn’t help but think that this man was literally built for this kind of thing.
I mean, I had the image of what he looked like shirtless—hell, half the world did—but feeling it under my fingers was a whole different story.
He let out a low groan against my lips, and I was losing myself in the kiss, in him, and for a second, I almost didn’t care about anything else. Almost.
He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against mine as we both caught our breath. “Y/n…”
The way he said my name, low and rough, made me want to pull him back in and never let go.
But there was something in his voice that made me pause.
“Yeah?” I whispered, my hands still resting on his shoulders, my eyes closed shut.
“I just… I don’t want to rush you” he said, his voice soft but serious. “I know last time… I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
I pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes, my heart doing that stupid fluttering thing again.
Damn, he was really being careful, wasn’t he? But I appreciated it. More than I’d probably let on.
“Lewis” I started, taking a breath. “I want this. I want you. And I’m not saying that lightly.”
He studied me for a moment, like he was searching for any sign of hesitation. But there wasn’t any. Not this time.
“You’re sure?” he asked, his voice low, almost a whisper.
I nodded, my fingers tracing the line of his jaw tentatively. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
That was all it took.
He kissed me again, and this time, there was no holding back.
And damn, if it wasn’t about time.
We barely made it through the hallway before his lips found mine again, pressing me against the wall with just the right amount of pressure.
God, he was good at this. I could feel the heat between us, the urgency in his touch making it clear where this was heading.
“Bedroom?” I mumbled against his lips, not really wanting to break the kiss but knowing we couldn’t just do this against the wall like teenagers.
Although, thinking it back the idea didn’t sound so bad.
As soon as we stepped inside his eyes landed on the teddy bear sitting in the middle of my bed. Of course.
“What’s this?” he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he pointed to the bear.
I rolled my eyes, trying not to let him see how much I loved that he was trying to lighten the mood.
“That’s Mr. Bear, and he’s not going anywhere, so you’ll just have to deal.”
“Mr. Bear?” He picked it up, inspecting it like it was some kind of artifact. “Well, I guess I’ll have to make sure he approves.”
“He’s a tough cookie” I quipped, crossing my arms and giving him a look. “But you might want to focus on impressing me instead.”
“Oh, I plan on it,” he murmured, setting the bear down gently on the bedside table before turning back to me, the teasing glint in his eyes replaced with something much more intense.
He stepped closer, his hands finding the hem of my shirt. “Can I…?”
I sighed, half-annoyed, half-amused. “Lewis, if you ask me for permission one more time…”
He grinned, but there was something softer behind it. “Just making sure, love”
“I know,” I cut him off, my voice softer too. “But trust me, I want this. I want you.”
He held my gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, slipping his hands under my shirt and lifting it over my head.
His fingers grazed my skin, causing goosebumps down my skin as he took his time, clearly trying to be as gentle as possible, maybe even allowing for the time for me to back off.
It was sweet, really, but I was starting to get impatient.
“Lewis,” I said, a warning in my voice.
He chuckled, his hands moving to the waistband of my jeans. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop asking.”
“Good” I muttered, stepping out of my jeans as he slid them down my legs.
When I was finally standing in just my lingerie, his eyes roamed over me, and I could see the want—was it also awe? —in his eyes.
“I don’t think it’s fair,” I said, my voice teasing as I reached for the hem of his shirt.
“What’s not fair?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine with a tense stare.
“That you’re fully dressed” I replied, tugging at his shirt. “Especially when half the world uses your abs as gym inspiration.”
He laughed then; a deep, genuine sound that made my heart skip a beat. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?”
He raised his arms, letting me pull the shirt over his head. And yeah, the man was every bit as ripped as I had imagined.
I already knew what was under there, but damn, it was something else to see it up close like this.
And the tattoos. Those damn tattoos.
I ran my hands over his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles, and he watched me with that same intense gaze, like he was studying every move I made.
It was intoxicating, the way he looked at me, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered at that second.
“Better?” he asked, his voice low as he leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear.
“Much” I whispered, my fingers trailing down to his abs, feeling them tense under my touch.
His breath hitched slightly, and I couldn’t help but smile.
It was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling a little overwhelmed by this. He might be Lewis Hamilton, but right now, he was just a guy standing in front of me, and I was the one making him nervous.
He softly guided my chin up and smiled, that stupidly soft and loving smile, before leaning into my lips, my hands exploring his back, his shoulders, anywhere I could reach.
He took his time though, his hands sliding up my sides to my back, and only then pausing at the clasp of my bra.
With his lips still hovering over mine he breathed into me. “Can I…?”
I rolled my eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “Yes, Lewis. You can.”
And with that – and with his lips back on mine – he undid the clasp, letting the bra fall away as his hands moved over my now bare skin
Finally. And damn, if I wasn’t loving every second of it.
His lips started to trail from my collarbone down to the swell of my breasts, taking detours to worship every inch of skin he found on the way.
By the time his mouth reached my belly, I was practically trembling with anticipation.
When his fingers brushed the lace of my underwear, I couldn’t help the hiss that escaped my lips.
He paused, looking up at me with those deep, dark eyes that seemed to see right through me. Without a word, he moved back up to capture my mouth with his, as if soothing the impatience brewing inside me.
And I was impatient. The slow, deliberate pace was driving me insane, and he knew it.
I kissed him back hard, my hands roaming down his sides until they found the waistband of his boxers.
I was more than ready to speed things up, and as I slipped my hand under the fabric, I was pleasantly surprised to find him already half-hard.
“Guess the rumors weren’t exaggerating,” I murmured against his lips, my fingers brushing over his length.
He responded with a low growl, one hand angling my head as he kissed me again, harder this time, effectively shutting me up.
But he never stopped me from continuing my exploration. I traced the outline of his dick through the fabric, feeling the heat of him, the way he twitched under my touch.
Knowing I could get this kind of reaction from him was a high I probably wouldn’t get over for a minute.
When he finally broke the kiss, I met his gaze, silently asking for permission to go further. “It’s all yours, babe.” He chuckled, a sound that made me want to attack him and hide all at once.
I hooked my fingers under the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down.
The moment his dick sprang free, I couldn’t help the way my breath caught in my throat.
He wasn’t impossibly long, but he was definitely above average, and the girth—God, the girth—was enough to make my pulse quicken.
He was watching me, of course, catching every flicker of reaction on my face.
When he noticed my wide-eyed surprise, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. His smile was warm, reassuring even “We’ll take it slow.”
I nodded, grateful for his patience even as it frustrated me. I returned his smile, my fingers wrapping around his length. His breath hitched the moment I touched him, and I couldn’t help but bat my eyes at him playfully.
“Gosh, you’re trouble” he muttered, his voice rough with desire.
I grinned, taking my time as I began to pump him, feeling the weight and heat of him in my hand.
When I reached the tip, I leaned down to press a kiss there, delighting in the way he shivered at the contact.
“Sensitive here, huh?” I teased, looking up at him.
Whatever retort he had in mind was lost when he dragged me back up to his lips, his hands firm on my hips as he effortlessly maneuvered me onto the bed, pressing my back against the headboard.
His eyes, dark and intense, locked onto mine. “I’m good, love. But we need to make sure you’re ready” he murmured, his statement a promise to my ears.
Before I could respond, his mouth was on me again, trailing kisses down my body with single-minded focus.
When he reached my inner thighs, he took his time kissing through the fabric of my lace underwear, and I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my lips.
“Don’t tease,” I breathed, hating how desperate I sounded.
He giggled—that soft, infectious sound that I’d grown to love. “Just making sure” he whispered, his fingers hooking around the strings on my hips, slowly pulling the lace down and off.
As he finally took in the sight of my exposed cunt, his expression shifted into something almost reverent, like he was savoring the moment. He leaned down, leaving featherlight kisses on my outer lips, the gentle touch driving me wild.
“Lewis” I groaned, the frustration in my voice clear. “Please.”
He smiled against my skin, his breath hot against my thigh. “Patience, love. I’m just getting started.”
The first tentative lick sent a shockwave through my body, and my hands immediately grabbed at the sheets, fingers curling tight.
Every nerve on me was on fire, heightened by the slow, deliberate pace he was setting.
And just when I thought I might float away, he hooked an arm around my hips, anchoring me in place. His other hand found mine, fingers intertwining, as if he needed to connect with me anymore.
His eyes never left mine, and even if I wanted, I couldn’t really stop watching as his tongue lapped up my clit. A gasp escaping my lips as the pleasure spiked through me.
“Fuck,” I muttered, barely coherent.
He continued, his tongue moving with just the right pace, not rushing, just giving me enough to keep me teetering on the edge.
When he felt I was wet enough, he let go of my hand, moving it down to tease at my entrance with a single digit.
“I’ll need words from here, love” he murmured, his voice muffled. “Tell me what you like.”
“Don’t stop,” I managed to say, my voice shaky, almost pleading. “Just—don’t stop.”
With a grin, he slid a single finger inside me, his own hiss vibrating through the room as he felt my walls.
“You’re so tight,” he breathed, a note of awe in his voice. “This is gonna be heaven.”
He took his time, exploring with just that one finger, feeling around until he found the spot that had me squirming under him. When he hit it, I couldn’t help the moan that tore from my throat, my hips bucking involuntarily.
“Found it” he said with a satisfied smile, his eyes locking onto mine.
Then he added a second finger, the light stretch already making me gasp.
He started a scissoring motion, opening me up, getting me ready. All the while, his tongue didn’t let up, lapping at my clit in perfect rhythm, just enough to keep me on edge without pushing me over.
The wet sounds filled the room, mingling with my ragged breathing and his low murmurs of praise.
He was studying me, like he was learning exactly how to make me fall apart under him.
After what felt like an eternity of this sweet torment, he finally pulled back, sitting on his heels.
I watched as he switched to his middle and ring fingers, angling them just right before sliding back into me.
The feeling was delicious, and when he curled his fingers and found that spot again, I cried out, my hips lifting off the bed.
“Easy” he murmured, his free arm holding me in place as he started a relentless up-and-down motion.
His thumb brushed over my clit, making my breath caught in my throat and my head spin.
I was completely at his mercy, the pleasure building and building until I could hardly breathe.
The wet noises from where his fingers worked inside me were obscene, mingling with the desperate little sounds I couldn’t hold back.
He kept on the soft praises, but they were swallowed by my moans as I got closer and closer to the edge.
And then it hit.
My vision went white, and all I could do was hold onto his arm on his hips, feeling the waves of pleasure crash over me again and again. My whole body tensing before it felt like it had shattered into a million pieces.
He didn’t stop until he was sure I’d ridden out every last bit of it, his fingers slowing their movements but never letting up until I was trembling beneath him.
Only then did he pull his fingers out.
When I finally came back to myself, I found him watching me with a look that was equal parts smug and adoring.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips as if sealing the moment. “You okay?” he whispered, his voice gentle now.
I could only nod, too blissed out to form a coherent thought, let alone words.
And then he had the nerve to ask if I had one more in me, and again all I could do was nod.
But apparently, that wasn’t good enough for him. “I need words,” he insisted, and barely managed to get out “Fucking hell, you’re not leaving me without the rest.”
He laughed, the sound rich and warm, and I wanted to roll my eyes, but I couldn’t deny how endearing it was.
How many green flags could one guy have? Annoyingly checking every damn box.
When he went to his wallet, I knew what was coming next.
He handed me the condom packet, giving me that same patient, earnest look, like he was asking if I could handle one more thing.
I reached for him, giving him a few more pumps just to feel him twitch in my hand. Sliding the condom on, I could feel the heat building again, a rush of anticipation making my heart race.
He adjusted our position like he was handling something precious—placing a pillow just under my back, so deliberate and thoughtful.
But when he rested his dick on my inner thigh, all those coherent thoughts I had left my brain like it was suddenly a foreign language, and I remembered the girth.
Holy shit. How was I supposed to handle that?
The weight of him, the sheer size, and the fact that I was supposed to take it in?
Was this man sculpted by the gods or what?
And why did I have to get stuck on how considerate he was instead of focusing on the absolute insanity about to happen?
Before I could spiral any further, he came up to me, his lips brushing mine, dragging me back into the present. “We’ll take all the time you need, okay?” his voice like honey, smooth and sweet.
And there I was, rolling my eyes again, even as the warmth spread through me.
I wanted to snap back, something sassy on the tip of my tongue, but then his tip entered me, and all I could do was hiss at the sensation.
He kissed me through the first thrust, his dick practically ripping through my walls, and my hands automatically went to his back, nails digging into his skin, holding on for dear life.
I tried to breathe, tried to adjust to the stretch, but when he finally stopped, I realized he wasn’t even fully in yet.
My eyes shot down, and sure enough, he was still focused, his breathing controlled, and all I heard was a low murmur, “Geez, you really are tight.”
I felt his arms on either side of me, solid and reassuring, and I squeezed them gently. His eyes instantly found mine, filled with concern, and I had to smile softly. “Move, Lewis. Just please, move.”
And then he did, thrusting into me with an agonizing slowness, deeper with each motion, until finally, I felt his balls press against my ass, and he sighed like he’d found what he was looking for.
My mind, however, was a different story.
Holy shit, how was I still breathing? I was split open in the best way possible, and all I could think was how the hell was this man real.
I was sure each thrust was going to create its own memory, and I was teetering between wanting to scream at the top of my lungs and begging him to go even harder.
But there was something about how he moved—deliberate, careful, like he was savoring every second, every reaction I gave him.
The way he looked at me, like I was the only thing that mattered in the world, was enough to push me over the edge again. And I could tell he was holding back, trying to keep control, trying to make sure I was okay, even as his own need was practically vibrating through his body.
God, I’m so screwed, and not just in the physical sense.
I was falling, fast and hard, and there was no stopping it now.
Not when he felt this good, not when he was this good to me.
Every thrust made me crave more, made me cling to him tighter, made me want to lose myself in him completely.
Lewis’s focus was entirely on me, and it was like he was memorizing every gasp, every twitch, every reaction.
It was overwhelming, in the best possible way, but still I needed more.
I wanted to be the one in control, to feel him from a different angle, to see what this man—this ridiculous, considerate, and sexy man—would do when I took the reins.
Leaning into his ear, I whispered, “I want to ride you.”
The words were barely out of my mouth before I felt him tense beneath me, half-worried, half-hopeful.
It was adorable, really, how he tried to mask his excitement with concern.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, and there was that hint of amusement in his voice, but I could also hear the edge of desperation.
Did he really want this as much as I did, maybe even more?
“We’ll take it slow, right?” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady despite the pounding in my chest.
I sat up, pulling away just enough to guide him to sit on the bed, and as I moved into his lap, I could feel his heart on his chest.
Slowly, I lowered myself onto his dick, feeling every inch stretch me again, filling me completely.
My lips parted in an involuntary gasp, my eyes squeezing shut as I adjusted to the sensation.
His hands found my waist, gripping tightly as if grounding himself, and when I finally opened my eyes, he was staring at me with that same soft smile that always managed to break through my sarcasm.
I couldn’t help but smile back, pulling him into a kiss, the kind that had me wrapping me around him.
I started moving, rocking back and forth, feeling the friction build and spiral.
The kiss broke when he moaned against my lips, a sound that only spurred me on, making my moves harder, seeking more.
His hands guided me, helping me rise and fall on him, and every time his tip brushed against my cervix, I saw starts. It was so intense it almost bordered on pain.
I let out a cry, my body trembling at the sensation, and he immediately stilled, concern flashing in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and it was almost ridiculous how serious he was, but also incredibly sweet.
I looked down at him, half breathless, half in awe of how he managed to be so considerate, even in the heat of the moment. “Going to be even better when you drag that other orgasm out of me, like you promised.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. He started to thrust up and I matched him, riding him faster, until I could feel that familiar tension coil tightly in my belly.
I wasn’t going to last much longer, and by the way he was groaning beneath me, neither was he.
A few more thrusts, and I stilled, holding him down by his abdomen, feeling the shift in him as he realized what was happening.
He searched my face, and then his expression shifted as he felt my walls clenching around him, my legs shaking as I came undone.
I couldn’t keep myself upright, collapsing into his chest as wave after wave washed over me.
Lewis took that moment to start thrusting again, riding out my orgasm, and I was vaguely aware of the way he was holding me, like he didn’t want to let go.
I could feel his rhythm faltering, and it wasn’t long before he let out a deep grunt, his fingers digging into my waist as he held me in place and his moans were all I heard.
We were both breathing hard, tangled together, and for a moment, everything else faded away.
It was just us, in this moment, and I couldn’t help the ridiculous surge of affection for him.
Who knew I’d end up here, wrapped up in the arms of a guy like Lewis? But here I was, completely wrecked and somehow, already craving more.
As I eased off his lap, I heard a low moan escape his lips, and I giggled as I looked down at him, sprawled out on the bed with a stupid grin plastered across his face.
"Enjoying yourself, are we?" I teased, reaching down to carefully remove the condom, trying to catch the mess inside. He didn't even respond, just lay there looking like the cat who got the cream.
I slipped off to the bathroom, tossing the condom in the toilet before taking a moment to pee—because there was no way I was dealing with a UTI when I had Lewis to myself like that.
And just that thought was ridiculous on its own.
When I came back into the bedroom, Lewis immediately pulled me into his arms, almost like he was afraid I’d vanish if he didn’t hold on tight enough.
He was sweet in the aftercare, his voice soft as he asked, “How was it? How do you feel?”
I could hear the concern laced in his tone, but that grin was still there, tugging at the corners of his lips.
It was impossible not to smile back, even as I decided to mess with him a little. My fingers wandered lower, tracing the lines of his lower waist, and I looked up at him with a teasing glint in my eyes.
“You know” I started, trying to keep a straight face, “I always thought you were a shower… I’m glad to see you’re also a grower.”
Lewis giggled, his chest vibrating under my chin as he shook his head in mock disbelief. “Really?”
“Yeah” I grinned, pressing a kiss to his chest. “I mean, it’s only fair to acknowledge all of your… talents.”
He shook his head again, but I could see the satisfaction in his eyes. “And here I thought I had you speechless.”
“You did” I assured him, my fingers dancing across his skin again. “But I can’t stay quiet for long.”
He chuckled, pulling me closer, his hand running up and down my back in soothing strokes. “I’m glad. It’s part of your charm.”
I rolled my eyes at that, but there was no denying the warmth that spread through me at his words. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself.”
His grin softened into something more tender as he looked down at me. “You make it easy to be sweet.”
I pretended to look annoyed, but the smile on my face gave me away. “Okay, that was disgustingly cute. But fine, I’ll allow it.”
“Oh, you’ll allow it?” he teased, his hand coming up to gently brush my cheek “What if I want to be disgustingly cute more often?”
I hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider it. “I guess I could get used to it… as long as you keep up the other stuff too.”
He giggled again, that carefree sound that I was quickly falling for. “Deal. But just so you know, I’m planning on sticking for a bit.”
I smirked, resting my hand on his chest. “I think I can manage that.”
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smutoperator · 8 months
Text
Sensate Focus
Hwang Yeji x Male Reader
Tags: blindfolding, edging, escort, facial, female orgasms, (lots of) foreplay, neck play, passionate sex, sex therapy, switch, riding
Word count: 4887.
You lived a very sexually frustrated life. Every time you ended up in bed with someone, things would go south. Just a few thrusts inside any girl were enough to make you cum and have some of the shortest intercourse ever recorded. You needed professional help and started seeking help from those numerous online ads that promised a massive turnaround in your sexual life. Obviously, most of those were bogus and just scams, as you learned. But you had a last resort: a sensate focus sex therapy ad with a mysterious woman called "Ms. Hwang." At first, you thought it was another scan, as the address she gave you was the 13th floor of the building of a record label. Unless the "entertainment" in JYP Entertainment was actually a reference to adult entertainment, either way, you entered the building and were directed to an ample room with a bed, where the assistant told you to stay until Ms. Hwang's arrival.
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An orange-haired woman arrived at the room right on time. She praised you for coming in earlier, indicating it was a sign you were very committed to the experience she was about to give you. You replied, thanking her. Already wearing her attire, Ms. Hwang presented herself wearing sexy black lingerie that showcased her bare, long torso and perfect legs. You were very shy and borderline insecure, staring at her intimidating figure and cat-like eyes. Yeji just walked in your direction. "Tell me about your needs," she asked. "I'm trying to last longer," you explained to her. Yeji just repeated most of your words, grabbing your tie, until you said, "I was told if I practice being touched until I'm ready to...".
"Cum?" she interrupted you. "Yes," you answered in agreement. She gave you a big smile. It was clear this wasn't her first rodeo. Yeji took your suit off, which you still had on after a long workday. "We don't need such formalities here," she said, and she touched your body from top to bottom. "Oh, that feels good," you said. She just asked the same thing you had told her, intentionally playing dumb as she moved towards your crotch area. Yeji just gave your clothed pole a few rubs, which were already enough for you to get aroused, then delicately touched your balls while saying some sexy "Yeahs" right at your face. "Just like that." As soon as you said that, Yeji increased her pace, moving her right hand up and down your clothed shaft. You were petrified at her amazing touch, spending all your efforts not to jizz in your pants already like you had done so many times at the simple touch of a woman.
"Just like that?" Yeji kept playing dumb with you as she increased the pace of her rubbing. Her favorite positive answers were the obvious ones. She really likes to be praised for her efforts. "Oh my God, I'm going to cum," you already said, distancing yourself from her face for a second and closing your eyes. Semen started flowing towards your cock's canal but stopped just as she ceased to touch you. Yeji laughed once more, loving the fact that you were already under her total control. She gave your forehead a little kiss and went back to her touching routine, mocking you every time you told her to do it "just like that." This time, she changed her motion a bit, opting for more circular moves towards your shaft.
"Wow, thanks," you said, rolling your eyes as you became her easily captured prey. She stared at you with her eyes full of lust in a way that almost petrified you. You kept nodding at her as Yeji's hands made quick rubbing moves in your pants. You were so weak, she sensed before you could even tell her that you were about to cum, pulling her hands out once more. Very few women feast on men's weakness as well as Yeji does. As soon as she sensed it, she used her right hand to push you and shove your trembling body towards the bed. She looked even more intimidating when looking at you from above. Like a wolf, she crawled up towards your body, locking her lips against yours in a very passionate kiss as her right hand touched you from top to bottom.
"Let's try it again," you said. Yeji repeated the same move multiple times, smirking at you in between the kisses. She then topped you with her slim but very muscular body, her ass sitting right on top of your hard shaft. Yeji took your tie off very quickly. "Kiss me," you begged her. She granted your wish, bending in such a way that the whole weight of her body was now placed on your cock. Every kiss she delivered turned you into a needier toy in her hands. "You taste so good," you praised her between kisses. Yeji reacted with another big smile, as if she knew it already. "Do I taste so good? Then taste me some more," she replied.
She started unbottling your shirt in a very slow manner while you placed your hands on her thighs and your clothed cock made contact with her lingerie fabric. Yeji quickly took advantage of it, rubbing her lingerie right where her pussy was. The thong she was wearing was so small that her outer pussy lips were popping out of it. She continued to kiss and grind on you as you grabbed her waist with your right hand and her ass with your left hand before playing both your hands on her hips. Yeji had enjoyed it so much she had stopped unbottoning halfway into your shirt, taking a quick turn when she stopped kising you, quickly taking your shirt off, and setting her sights on a new target to stimulate. She placed her naughty tongue on your belly, licking it from the navel to the chest multiple times, with a few kisses in between.
Yeji then placed her hands on your belly and gave your chest a few kisses, her tongue sending you crazy as she circled around your nipples. "Oh fuck," it was all you could utter, pressing her head against your chest. After a few lickings, you took your head off the bed for the first time in a while, fully taking your shirt off and kissing her. But Yeji wanted you to just follow her commands, as she quickly placed you lying back in bed and bumped her belly against yours while she started licking your neck, her favorite erogenous zone. The way she tongued it was so sensual, searching for the most veinous areas in your neck like crazy. It wasn't long until she started sucking it, giving you a few love bites while her lower body kept grinding on your hips.
Yeji pressed her body hard against yours, enjoying the pleasure of a lovely make-out. You touched her chest a little, but she quickly locked your head and took control once more, riding your body using hers. You felt so amazed at the way she could ride you even without you penetrating her. And she was very good at turning the heat up, even moaning as if you were already fucking her. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum," you said, clearly showing you were still unprepared for the blitz of pleasure she had started giving you. Yeji then stopped the ride and moved towards the bottom of your body, kissing your clothed cock under your pants, getting it ready to become a throbbing monster at the moment she decided to unzip it, kissing it right at your balls while caressing the shaft.
Yeji finally started unzipping your pants as she now sat on top of your legs. Once again, she took it very slowly, spending a lot of time just taking your belt off and sweeping your mouth and chest with her tongue in between, before moving back down and unveiling your thobbing cock. Yeji touches it softly with her hands, which already makes you even weaker than before. She licks your belly with your cock to the side, with your shaft touching her soft skin and your tip tangled in her hair. She then grabs it with her right hand and kisses your thobbing tip before she starts sucking it from the side, moving from balls to tip, before staring at you as she reaches the top. However, she can take all the time in the world she wants, going back to your crotch and sucking it before she gives your cock some gentle jerkoffs.
"Let's get this off," Yeji says as she pulls your pants down. You were now fully naked, but she still hadn't taken any pieces of her sexy outfit off. Your eyes begged for her, but your cock begged more, fully erect and pointing to the sky as your erection lined up perfectly with the high rises of Seoul's skyline in the window. Yeji went back to work on your cock in her typical slow but extremely sexy pace, placing her right hand on your shaft while she started licking your balls. It was a sight to behold watching her slowly move her tongue up your shaft as her naughty, predatory eyes gave you a deathly stare. Yeji did the same move a second time, but this time surprised you at the finish, sucking your shaft frontally for the first time. She then moved to lick it sideways before going back to working it, taking it deeper on her throat every single time and using her naughty tongue to lick your tip every time she pulled out.
"Holy shit", you exclaimed as Yeji kept working on your cock. Her blowjob wasn't really sloppy, as she didn't need to spit all over your cock to make it work; just using her tongue at the right spots on your pole was enough. Your tip bulging under her cheeks while she jerked you off looked extremely sexy, and she licked it like a snake injecting poison into her prey. Her tongue was clearly the star of the show, making you lose your breath and come close to cum once more. Yeji laughed at your weakness, holding your shaft softly and restarting the motion back in your balls. You were making progress, but she clearly knew you needed more before going all-in. "That's too good," you said as she licked the whole extension of your balls and shaft.
Placing your hands at the bottom of your pole, Yeji stared at you, then moved back down and engulfed your testicles. "Oh, I love it, every... second... of... it," you said in a very paused manner as she went back to lick the whole extension of your crotch while keeping her left hand jerking you off and then switching to licking your tip once more as she rubbed your crotch. "How does that feel?" she asked, her first words in a long while. "It feels amazing," you replied. As Yeji took her hands off your cock, you no longer had control of it, as your erection started bobbing involuntarly and getting harder and harder with each move of hers. Yeji was now sucking you off without the need to use her hands, as she placed them scratching your crotch with her nails while sucking the life out of you and then making some circular motions.
"You think you can handle a little extra?" she finally asked. "Yes," you answered, lying to her. "Let's try," you continued. Yeji increased the pace of her blowjob, thursting your cock deeper into her throat in a fast-paced motion, your thick girth filling her mouth to the fullest while your length hit her throat perfectly. "That's so good," she said as she licked your throbbing shaft, noticing it had gotten bulkier since she had started. Yeji placed her hands on your balls, caressing them intensely, not needing to use those hands to dive deep into your long shaft, before moving upwards and doing just tip-sucking while jerking you off, her large hands gripping your cock amazingly. Another big smile came out of her mouth as she noticed how much you were enjoying it. Now using both hands, Yeji slowed the pace of her stroking, keeping your tip in her mouth while using her nails to run up and down your cock.
Yeji went back to tasting your cock sideways, sucking it like a lollipop while her nails rubbed the bottom of your shaft. "Are you ready for more?" she asked again. "I think so," and unlike last time, you weren't lying to her. She kissed you while keeping her right hand jerking your cock off. She slowly took her thong off, giving you a little smile as she finished unhooking the bottom of her lingerie. Yeji kissed you and put her right hand under your body to grab your cock as it tiled forward and touched its tip against her slit's entrance. But she wasn't gonna let you control it, as she quickly grabbed your shaft and started rubbing it against her vagina and asshole.
It didn't take long for Yeji to line up her entrance with your shaft; she had such great knowledge of her body that she could do it with her eyes closed. Even though she inserted just your tip inside it, the pressure her tight walls exerted on it was so intense that you had to push your shaft down a bit to resist. Your desperate moans contrasted with Yeji's soft laugh; as for her, this was very trivial. She pushed her body down, going slowly, as not even a third of your length was inside her. A few muted moans come out of her mouth as she moves up and down a bit, still working just the top third of your cock. "Oh my God," is all you can say as you look at Yeji on top of you, giving you a devilish stare. You don't want this to end like every other sex session you had, ejaculating as soon as you are inside a girl's pussy. But her tight walls are very tempting, and the way her insides rub your cock is insanely pleasuring.
Yeji gives a louder moan and rides you in very slow motion, holding your neck with her right hand as she kisses you. She still has only inserted half of your length, but her powerful overstimulation has you walking on thin ice. A sexier moan, and Yeji moves up, placing her chest right against your mouth. Bras may not be her favorite thing to wear, but she was glad they were there to prevent you from having a free shot at her nipples. Her moans alternate between sexy screams and out-of-breath softness. Yeji thrives on positive feedback, smiling at you when you tell her it feels good and rewarding you with the first full-length thrust, leading to her sexiest moan of the night. You grab her ass as she sticks your cock deep in her pussy for many seconds. She looks extremely relaxed, as her expanding muscles lead to her asshole nicely gaping while you stretch her cunt out.
"Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh", Yeji's moans are a turn-on by themselves, with a very nasal sound as she likes to do them with her mouth closed, performing them every time she reaches the base of your cock. She slowly increases the pace but still fucks your cock in a very passionate manner. The self-control she has over her body is sensational, as she doesn't waste any thrust. Every motion has a purpose. At first, you try to grab her ass, but the more you see the way she works, the more you just passively let her take full control of you, enjoying every bounce she gives on your cock. She then places her hands on your chest and finally moves towards a faster motion that makes her hair wave beautifully.
"Shit," Yeji curses for the first time as she hugs your head and presses it on her still-clothed chest. You try to kiss her, but she quickly pulls out, meaning your kiss lands on her neck. She still enjoys it and retributes the favor. When she curses, it's a good sign; it means you found out her sweet spot. She quickly takes advantage of it, moaning hard as she bounces on you while looking you straight in the eye. Her kisses and moans also send you over the moon. "Yes, yes, yes," you say at every bounce from her. Yeji moves towards a standing position, allowing her to kiss you more intensely while keeping your cock wrapped inside her walls, giving her maximum pleasure. "Holy fuck," you say it as soon as she resumes bouncing on your shaft, leading to more moans in her side.
You hit Yeji right at her G-spot as she bounces on you, but this time she doesn't have the strength to go back up. For the first time, she moans with her mouth fully open as her walls clench around your cock. Yeji starts orgasming, which makes you believe it's going to be the end for you as you close your eyes and start telling your brain, "Don't cum, don't cum, don't cum." As soon as she regains a little strength, Yeji rides her orgasm to perfection, hitting your cock at the right angle every single time. "OH FUCK!" she screams for the first time, but you just lie down and let her enjoy the bouncing. Even at her weakest, she still dominates you; pleasing her is more important than pleasing you.
Yeji prepares herself for more but makes sure she continues to enjoy the ride, giving you shallow thrusts with just the tip in while grabbing your cock down low. What was surprising was how this little "pause" was enough to almost make you explode once more, as her pussy overstimulating your tip and her nails gripping your thobbing shaft ended up being a lethal combination. "Oh, I love it; oh, you're perfect," you tell her. If you are enjoying it so much, she deduces she can go back to engulfing your cock full length, and she was right, riding you with her body fully pressed against yours. You even try to thurst upwards and clash with her cheeks, but she's just too good not to enjoy the full ride. "Just like that," you say her favorite phrase as soon as she rides you at full speed.
"Oh my God, Oh my God, wait a minute," you say as Yeji's bounces nearly make you orgasm for real. Another close call as you keep playing with fire. Yeji cackles at your weakness: "Not yet; if you cum, I'm gone forever," she says. "Be a good boy," she whispers in your ear, with you still out of breath and trying to recover. "Not yet," she repeats. "Let me taste this cock," she says, picking the precum up from your tip. "Hmm, salty," she says, taking it back in her mouth and slapping it on her tongue, even spitting on it for the first time. Yeji goes back to the classic cock sucking and jerking off, but this time going fast from the start. Your thobbing member is finally a challenge to her, who tries to take it deeper in her throat but now struggles with the much larger length and girth compared to the start of the session. But it's when she's challenged that Yeji thrives the most. She goes faster, deeper, and stronger, overtaking the length of your cock and taking it balls deep in her mouth, leading to another close call. If last time you were the one who almost led to your demise, this time it was her.
Yeji picks up the tie she took off of you a long time ago, ready for a new round. She blindfolds you with it and gives kisses to your neck. She attacks your neck and chest for a bit before inserting your cock back inside her. "Oh, you feel amazing," you whisper to her ear as her pussy slowly sits on your cock. She slowly takes it deep while wrapping herself around your body, giving you a blindfold ride. When she pulls out after a long sit-down on your cock, you test yourself and search for her entrance, this time doing yourself the teasing as you rub your shaft close to her pussy before putting it back in. Yeji elicits a sexy moan when you put it back inside, as she enjoys your teasing and rewards you with a romantic sitting on your shaft.
You reach for her breasts, which she had successfully kept away from you. As you manage to pull her bra down, Yeji just decides to reward you by unhooking it fully. Her tits are not the biggest, but they have a nice jiggle to them, and her nipples have an amazing texture. You grope Yeji's boobs hard, leading her to stop riding and let you contemplate them with your hands. "I think you can handle a little more," she concludes, taking off the blindfold and pressing her now fully naked body against yours. You answer affirmatively to her, as Yeji lets you watch her ride you while kissing you passionately. This time, you fully grab her hips and let her moan in her mouth, pushing her to go faster.
Yeji pushes you up from the bed and lets you carry her for the first time. You lift her slender body. You two invert positions as you give her a passionate missionary, kissing her at every pump you give into her pussy. "Oh my God," she moans as you keep fucking her and now move to kisses on her neck, allowing her to scream louder at each thurst. Yeji puts her legs over her head, taking advantage of her flexible body and letting you take her on a mating press. "Oh shit", Yeji says her orgasmic curse once more as you keep stimulating her erogenous zones. Mouth, neck, and boobs are all overwhelmed by the kisses you land on her every time you hit her pussy deep and your thobbing member bulges under her toned belly. You lick her body from tits to nose, then pick up the pace. More "shits" come out of her mouth as she cums for a second time.
She pushes her right foot against your mouth for you to kiss while you keep thursting into her, then moves it down as her high heels rub your chest. You finger her pussy as she starts squirting and her body twists, her moans get louder, and her ribs press against her skin as Yeji enjoys another orgasm, kissing you in reward for it. "Make me cum again," her insatiable self whispers as you increase the pace of thursting, placing your left hand on her left boob, to which she answers by putting her own hand over yours. The once dominant and fearless Yeji now lets you have full control over her body. You then switch to her right tits as she now puts her hands to rest on her head and stares at the ceiling, screaming harder at each pounding you give her. But even at her weakest, Yeji still manages to press her body against yours and give you a little sideways ride.
"Can you handle it, baby?" she asks. This time, you let your moves speak for themselves as you increase the pace of fucking her pussy and pinch her left nipple. "AHHHHHHHHH. FUCKKKKK!" Yeji screamed as you took full control of her, mating her like there was no tomorrow, muffling her now-out-of-control moans with more kisses, but rethinking it after a while and just letting her scream freely. You lifted her leg up and switched to a leg glider sex position, hitting Yeji hard and deep. "DON'T STOP," she ordered, as you enjoyed her little tits jiggling as her body moved with your thursts. "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME FUCKING CUM," she continued. "OH I'M CUMMING", Yeji announced. Unlike the first two times, this was a very loud orgasm, one that made her twist like a pretzel. The muscles of her abs contracted hard, and she closed her eyes with her head pressed against the bedsheets. Even after a while, her abdominal contractions continued as if she were a pregnant woman about to give birth, but you gave her no rest, never pulling out of her.
"Do anything; do whatever you want to me," Yeji whispered as she still recovered, while you dove towards eating her wet and thobbing cunt. Her lips were utterly swollen by her recent orgasm, and she was at her most sensitive moment, so you took advantage of it. Her slim and shaved slit didn't tell much from the outside, but once you dove inside, you got shocked at how big her clit was. No wonder she was always moaning. Her walls were for sure the best you had found on any pussy you had ever eaten out. You put your tongue on Yeji's throbbing clit, making her involuntarily close her legs against your head. The top of the hood was your favorite part to kiss, lick, and suck. But you didn't want her to cum yet again and moved back towards romantic flirting, staring at her like a boy falling in love.
Yeji trusted you and lied her belly against the bed, leaving her back for you to caress. You kiss it from the bottom to the top before inserting your cock back in. She just let herself enjoy the ride, closing her eyes as you whispered dirty words in her ear and fucked her slowly in a prone-bone position, her eyes tearing up in joy. When you increased your pace, her moans were like those of a baby crying, before she muffled them against the pillows she placed on her own head. "Oh right there, yes right there, FUCK!" Yeji screamed between the pillows. You eat both her holes with Yeji on her knees. "I'm fucking shitty," she cried, just as you were tonguing exactly at her shitter. You thursted back inside her, this time in doggy, running your hands on her back while you pounded her at the hardest you had all day. After three orgasms, she was so sensitive that it didn't take long for her to start biting the bedsheets as you destroyed the shit out of her pussy.
But just like at the beginning, Yeji still had a smile on her face. It had been a long time since she had last enjoyed such a night of pure, passionate sex. "Yes, I love it," she said in between more poundings, moans, and crying. Now she was the one giving the positive feedback instead of you. "Shit, that's so good," she said, now saying the words you once said. You pushed Yeji closer to your body, fondling her tits and preparing yourself for one final pounding. Her cheeks clapped hard at each thrust. You firmly grabbed her waist and watched her boobs jiggle and bounce as hard as they could. "Fuck me like shit," Yeji ordered. You obeyed, but not before sniffing her body to feel her sweaty smell following almost an hour of sex. Her orange hair somehow managed to smell just as good as in the beginning and not look messy at all despite all the pounding. You moved yourself out of the bed, standing up as you took Yeji to the edge of the mattress, with her on her knees and barely holding on. "YES, YES, YES, YES," she screamed between each pounding, her pussy getting destroyed as you firmly gripped her waist, her hair looking beautiful when pressed against the bed.
"Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum," you tell her after you continue to plow her pussy. Yeji is this close to allowing you to fill her up to the brim before second thoughts come to her head, and she remembers that if she were to do it, she would 100% get pregnant, and she was not ready for it. "Wait, wait, wait," she reacts, pulling out and looking to regain her confidence. "I wanna taste it," she says, finding a solution. Yeji gets herself on her knees this time, pointed towards you. Just a little jerkoff is enough to make you blast all over her face in such a quick and hard burst that it hits her eyes and finally messes with her still-perfect hair. Enough cum hits her mouth after you give her 10 blasts of sperm into her face. She scoops a bit from her nose and swallows it, but leaves most of her face covered with your semen before she sucks and kisses your cock for one final time. "You were a good boy," she compliments you before charging you for the hour you spent together. If you hit her pussy, she was going to hit your wallet back.
"The best things in life aren't for free," she says as she kisses you for one last time and goes clean herself up in the bathroom, leaving you alone in the room. You dress yourself back up, leaving the JYP building very satisfied; the worries about your once frustrating sex life are now gone, all thanks to Ms. Hwang.
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mmurderhousewrites · 6 months
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Rich Baby Daddy pt. one (sukuna x reader)
Summary: You're invited to a party by a close friend and end up bumping into someone from your past.
Warnings: none.
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The mornings used to be your favorite. Waking up next to your hunk of a man. The sun shining through your bedroom windows. Oh how you missed those lovely mornings.
Now however, your mornings consisted of you waking up at the crack of dawn due to your crying 4 year old. bathing and clothing not only yourself but your child as well, making breakfast, and somehow managing to get to work on time.
Now on your days off, if you were lucky, Yuji, your son, would sleep in. And if god was somehow on your side that day, your baby daddy might even come pick up his son for awhile, giving you some free time. But those days were rare considering Sukuna is a business man.
Sukuna is the CEO of jujutsu tech, a huge electronic corporation. you had met him through your close friend getou and hit it off. Eventually you two moved in with each other and not long after that he got you pregnant.
Times have changed though unfortunatley. Sukuna is a very hard working man, so hardworking that he put his job before his own family. About a year after yuji was born you decided to leave after getting into a big argument with sukuna, taking yuji with you.
At first you stayed with your parents for a while before finding yourself a cute apartment in the city, it was a two bedroom 1 and a half bathroom. That's where you and yuji have been ever since.
You and your baby dad have had a neutral relationship ever since, sukuna of course always trying to get you to go back but times have changed and you are a new woman.
As of now it was about 1:00pm. You worked as a journalist in the new station in the city, not to far from your apartment. sitting at your desk, going through old news feed, your phone dings.
Looking over you see youve gotten a message. It was from Getou.
Geto: hey, theres some kind of party later a friend of mine is hosting. Wanted to know if u were interested in being my plus 1 ;p
You giggle to yourself. What a flirt. You could always drop yuji off to your parents for the night, after all they loved your little pink haired baby. And on top of that you could use a night out.
Quickly typing back to geto you respond,
Me: Sounds interesting.. Whats the dresscode?
geto: formal. I figure you might get a good story out of one of these rich folks huh?
Me: hmmm i think im sold suguru.
geto: great! ill pick you up at 8.
"L/N! I'm not paying you to text on your phone! I need a story!" You hear your boss, Mark yell from his office behind you.
You roll your eyes before collecting your things, standing up you head over to marks office. "The Richardsons are hosting a party tonight, i'm gonna see what tea i can find. I know the juliani"s are hiding something." You say leaning against the door frame.
"yeah well the Juliani's have a mind of their own."
"im gonna leave to go get ready." you say turning around, heading to the exit.
"L/N!" Mark calls out to you making you stop and turn to face him. "be careful. I don't need another Journalist coming up missing." You nod your head before leaving the building and heading to the parking lot.
It was true, the last journalist who went to investage the Juliani family, they turned up missing. In fact it was your coworker Nobara Kugisaki. Police reports were made out by her family about a week ago and nothing has come up.
you shivered as you walked to your car, the cold making it so you can see your breathe. Once you reached your car, a small 2020 Honda civic, you opened your door and put your bags in.
"Y/n" you freeze, hearing that oh so sexy voice say your name for the first time in what? months?
Turning around you find yourself face to face with the man you once loved, oh who are you kidding still love. He was wearing a long black coat and black jeans, his pink hair ruffled as usual and his tattoos just added to his handsome features.
"ryo- what are you doing here?" You ask, crossing your arms.
He walks closer to you, making you take a step back, leaning against your cars back door.
"i just wanted to see you." He says quietly, swiping a piece of your hair out of your face and behind your ear. You can't help but blush.
Pushing his hand away, you roll your eyes. "What are you really here for" you werent an idiot. Sukuna is a powerful man and busy one at that, there was no way he got out of work just to come see you.. especially considering he barely seen your son. But you couldn't be mad after all he was sending you checks every few weeks with at least 3,000$ on them.. so he was still providing for you and yuji in a way.
He chuckles, "I heard youre going to that party later with Getou.."
Was he serious right now? "What about it?" You question, eyebrow perking up.
"Don't go." He says darkly.
"Are you kidding me? What are you jealous? I'm a grown woman i deserve a night out once in a while!" You say before turning away and hoping in your car.
Sukuna leans against your window, so you roll it down. "Look kitten, if i were you i'd actually listen to your baby dad for once. It's not gonna be pretty" he smiles before backing away from your car.
You take this opportunity to pull out of the parking lot, making your way to yuji's daycare.
When you arrive at the daycare. You are first greeted by gojo, one of the daycare teachers and also getou's best friend.
"Well hello there Y/N! Here for yuuji?" Gojo asks, leaning towards you. "Its nap time right now so the children are asleep."
"Well unfortunately i'm going to have ti disturb his sleep because we have a pretty busy schedule for tonight" you laugh. "How have you been?" You havent really had a conversation with gojo in a while, you and him werent close, maybe because of how much of an extrovert he is.
"Im alriiight! I got a new apartment on 37th its a real beautyy." He drags on.
"Nice! Thats good to here" gojo pulls out his walky talky and yells loudly, "yuji has an early dismissal!!"
Next thing you know, theres a bunch of crying children in the next room over. What an idiot. You mentally facepalm.
Shoko, another daycare teacher comes out with yuji in her arms. He looks over to you and smiles.
After you get yuji and yourself situated in the car, you guys make your way over to your parents house. You had called them on your way to get yuji and of course they were more then thrilled to take yuji for the night.
Your parents lived anout 25 minutes away from the city so the drive wasnt too bad. Yuji was in his carseat playing on his ipad and minding his business.
"Mommy can i have 100$" your four year old says randomly. You cant help but laugh loudly.
"What do you need $100 for butt?" You ask, looking back at your som through the rear view mirror.
"I want a trampoline" he says, looking at you.
"You already have a trampoline at Nana's house and youre going there right now."
"But thats at nana's i want my own! My friend megumi has one at his house" he says, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah yeah."
After dropping your sin off to your parents, and making your way make home, you look through your closet trying to find a decent formal dress. You did have quit a few dresses considering you and sukuna would attend parties and other get togethers for business reasons.
Coming across a long black velvet dress you stop your search. This dress is skin tight and strapless, but has small diamonds adorned around the dress, making it sparkle just right.
Once you got dressed and finished your makeup, you put your hair up into a slick back ponytail, and added a little star charm clip to go with it. You looked absolutely gorgeous. Though your choice in heels would definitely make your feet sore after a night of dancing, looking good is what truly mattered. After all you were really only going to collect some dirt on any of the business men doing work with the Juliani's.
Tonight sure was going to be interesting.
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samandcolbyownme · 6 months
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Summary: anon request - "can you do a zach one where he like exposes him and readers secret relationship and she just goes with it , like " you weren't so quiet last night " and she just has her jaw dropped and says something back and it ends with smut" 
Warnings: this one shot will contain reader having sexual daydreams during the podcast, those dreams will include, oral (m rec), unprotected sex, the rest will contain Zach's usual banter and fluffiness
Word count: 2.1 k | not edited 
Also - I know it might get confusing, but the italics are what happened the night before, but in the form as if it's happening right now, like you're replaying the night in your mind. Hope that made sense, enjoy! 
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
"You want to know what I think is crazy?" Zach asks as his fingers drag up and down your arm. 
"Hmm?" You hum quietly as you keep your head on his chest. You feel him laugh slightly, "That no one has figured us out yet." 
You laugh, moving your head to look up at him, "Well now you just jinxed the hell out of that." 
He shrugs, a smirk on his face, "I mean I like us being a secret and all, but it's so hard for me to not say certain things when you're on the pod with us." 
You nod, "Yeah, I know what you mean." You smirk, "So what, is that your way of telling me you're going to out us at tomorrow's show?" 
He raises his brows, "I'm full of surprises babe. Guess you're going to have to wait and see." 
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
The next day, you're sitting on the red bench, headphones on and you're getting ready to do the show, but your mind just isn't there. 
Instead it's elsewhere. 
Specifically, replaying the time spent with Zach the previous night. 
The way you felt coming back from the restaurant, you needed him, his hands resting on your hips as you unlock your door made you crave him. 
When you finally got the door open, it was like the energy that craved one another clashed, As soon as you push the door open, he spun you around, lips on yours as he backs you into your apartment. 
"Hey." A hand is woven in front of you, "Earth to y/n." 
You look over at Tara and blink as you take your headphones off, "Yeah, hi. I'm here." 
"Where the fuck did you go. You were like-" she mimics how you were staring, "Zoned out." 
You laugh, "Sorry. I'm tired. I was up all night." Zach and Jared walk onto the set, "Oooh. Up all night doing what?" Zach teases and you roll your eyes, "I was coming up with a list of places that've already been to for Sam and Colby." 
Zach sits down and raises his brows, "Wow that was very specific." Zach sighs, placing his headphones on and you can't help but laugh. 
Friends around friends, lovers when it's just you two. 
You lean back, placing your headphones back on and Tara speaks up, "So I have to ask, how does it feel being better than two of the most liked ghost hunters in the world?" 
You laugh slightly, "What do you mean?" 
"I know you do paranormal investigation stuff too, and just the fact that Sam and Colby are coming to you for stuff.. I don't know that just.." Tara laughs and you tilt your head, "Are you just saying that to make a jab at them?" 
She nods and lean in to your mic, "Well then it feels pretty damn good." 
"Alright, alright. Anymore and we'll be scraping your brain off the walls from your head swelling to the point of exploding." Zach tries not to laugh and you shrug, "Hey, I take it when I can." 
You give him a quick and subtle wink then quickly change the subject, "Cat got Zach's tongue so I'll just go ahead and do the intro for him." You laugh, "What's up guys, we're here with Tara, Alyssa, me, Jared and oh, I guess Zach is here too." 
Zach just stares at you and you can't help but laugh. 
"Okay, but I love the fact that she announced Tara and me first." Alyssa laughs and you point to her. Tara nods, "Yeah, I'm going to have to say that we need to all vote to make y/n the person who announces the show." 
"Like a pre-recorded track because there are days she isn't here." Alyssa points out and you nod, "I agree. All in favor." You raise your hand and instantly say, "Three versus two. Girls win." 
"Youre ridiculous. Who invited you here anyway?" Zach rolls his eyes and you furrow your brows, "Um, you?" 
"Can you just like, zip it." Zach motions at his mouth and you smirk, "Make me. Take my headphones away." 
Zach tries not to laugh, "I mean, I can. But you might moan a little." 
"Oh my god. No. No. No." you close your eyes and look away from him, but in secret, you'd be on your knees in seconds for him. 
Zach places his hands on your shoulders, urging you to your knees. You drop down, complying to his every silent request. 
You stare up at him as he shrugs his black jean jacket off, eyes locked on yours as his jaw is slightly slack from your hand sliding over his throbbing cock that's being held back by his jeans. 
"I don't think.. you should say that to our guests?" Jared says with a nervous laugh, "I'm actually surprised you haven't gotten sued yet." 
"Please." Zach shrugs, nodding to you, "She won't sue me." 
Tara points to you, "I think you should just for his reaction. 
You laugh, "Thinking about it." 
You weren't thinking about that at all, Zach undoes his belt, followed by his jeans. The quick sound of the zipper going down causes your skin to perk up with goosebumps, caused by excitement. 
You rise up from your calves, licking your lips as you work fast to free him from his boxers. 
Zach speaking pulls you back into reality, "So now that we're past that embarrassing ensemble.." 
Zach trails off and so does your mind, You loved hearing Zach's little moans and groans as you held his cock with your lips and tongue. 
The way his fingers gentle drug over your head, slowly pulling your hair as his pleasure grew larger, "Fuck." 
Zach didn't really swear in general, so when he did, and it was because of you. It was even fucking hotter. 
You blink, snapping back into reality. 
"So I thought we could talk about something serious today." Zach says and Jared laughs, "Oh no. Someone's getting fired." 
"Yeah it's you." Zach says, pretending to be serious and Jared laughs, "I'd love to see you try, I'll just tell you no and you'll listen." 
You laugh and nod, "No that's so true." 
"Yeah whatever." Zach rolls his eyes, "No I have an exciting announcement." 
Your heart thumps and your head snaps towards him slightly. 
His eyes move to you and he smiles a little bit, "So, I have some news that may shock a lot of people, but I think everyone should know this, from me." 
"What's the fuck is happening?" Tara asks and Zach sighs, speaking quickly, "We're going to be doing a live dropouts show." 
You let out a breath and keep your stare on him, "Wow, Zach. That's great." 
"Better be, because they want all of us who are here right now." Zach gives a thumbs up, "What a relief it was to get that off my chest." 
You laugh slightly as your eyes trail down his neck to his necklace that's lying comfortably on his chest. 
Your back slams onto the bed, Zach's lips kissing over any skin they can reach. You let out a moan as he sucks a hicky into the skin over your hip. 
He kisses up over your boobs and up your neck. He leans up and you feel his cock slip between the folds of your pussy. 
The shiny necklace dangling from his neck as you feel him slide into you fully. You find it so hot when it swings back and forth with each thrust.
"Hey, I can't lie." Jared laughs and Tara cuts him off with a yell, "Say it!" 
You look over, at Tara, laughing as she keeps pointing to jared. You look over at Zach and he gives you a look that would make your legs go weak if you were standing. 
It wasn't a weird look. It was him just staring at you, knowing why you keep zoning out, and he was just making it worse. 
"I liked y/n's intro." Jared sighs and you look over at Jared with a clap, "Thank you." 
"You definitely thought it was better than Zach's intro, right?" Alyssa asks and Jared laughs, "I'm not answering that." 
You yelling with excitement, "Fuck yeah! Because you know that girls are just better than boys!" You motion between you, Tara and Alyssa. 
"Whoa, whoa!" Zach says waving his hand out in front of him a few times, "Settle down. Settle down, I'm getting flashbacks." 
"War flashbacks." Jared snorts and Tara asks with a laugh, "Flashbacks of what?!" 
You look at Zach, laughing and he shakes his head while furrowing his brows, "I don't know what you're laughing about because these flashbacks are of how loud you were being last night." 
It all happened so fast you blank, "What the fuck." 
"What did he just say?" Jared asks, mouth dropped with surprise. 
"Oh yeah, okay." Tara rolls her eyes and as you're still staring at Zach, he tilts his head slightly, giving his brows a quick flick. 
He outted you at tomorrow's show. 
Might as well roll with it. 
"You gonna tell them or you want me to, princess?" Zach smirks and you shrug, letting out a dramatic sigh, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." 
"Oh, you know exactly what helps me sleep at night." Zach winks as you look at him and you shake your head, looking down to rest it in your hand. 
"I can't tell if they're joking." Alyssa laughs and Tara cuts in, "Yeahhh, I mean, okay. I've actually been extremely suspicions about these two for weeks now."
"Oh please tell us what made you think that, Tara." Jared leans in, super invested into the conversation. 
You look up and look from Tara to Zach and he shrugs, "Hit me." He nods to Tara and she smirks, looking between you and Zach, "Well for starters, he stares at her every time she looks away." 
"I like looking at the back of her head. It makes it so I don't have anything mean to say." Zach shrugs and you  just laugh. 
"What else you got, Tara?" Jared encourages and Tara laughs, "Another thing is, they'll stop answering me at both at the same time. Like I'll be texting both of them and then all of a sudden.. radio silence." 
"I have a very strict bed time, Tara." You and Zach both say, just adding fuel to the fire and you just laugh, knowing that you're caught. 
"See!" Tara tells pointing, "See!" 
"Well.. if you don't know you do now." Zach laughs and Jared eggs him on, "Know what? Zach. Care to enlighten us with a perfect confirmation?" 
"What's my lawyer?" Zach yells looking around as he raises his hand. 
"So isn't true? You and.." Alyssa points from you to Zach and you laugh, nodding your head slowly. 
"Wow." Jared says, "I honestly did not expect this is come out onto the podcast today." 
Zach reaches for his water and takes a sip, "Listen, we played dumb, but we knew what we were doing." Zach scoffs, "Alright. You can't tell me that you weren't fooled."
"I knew my suspicions were there for a reason." Tara laughs, "How long?" 
"Two months." You laugh and they don't believe you.  Zach nods, "No she's serious.  It was after the episode with Jake and Johnnie." 
"Oh shit, yeah I guess that was two months ago." Tara nods, "I'm just like.. having a holy fuck moment." 
"Yeah." Zach laughs, "She came to see if I was as rich as I bragged that I was, and I must have passed inspection because she didn't go home that night." 
"Oh my god." You laugh, "That's not.." you shake your head and Jared laughs, "I just.. that really does shock me, like.. y/n. Why him?" 
You shrug, smiling as you look over at Zach. He glances at you and smirks, "What can I say? I'm full of surprises."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Thank you for reading! Let me know how you liked it. Love you all! Thank you so much for reading! 
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goresuki · 8 months
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my thoughts on Charlastor and Alastor calling Charlie "the daughter he never had"
this will be a very long rant/vent/whatever. also, a kind of... agressive one. if u wanna read, read it, if u don't, don't, idc and idm. I don't know if some antis take things for convenience (that way) or if they really are naive, because the fact that a manipulative guy like Alastor, whose intentions are unknown, tells Charlie that he sees her as "the daughter he never had" DOES NOT SOUND as CUTE to me as many DO seem to think it does.
I don't know if they don't realize the relationship Charlie has with her parents and how Alastor seems to take advantage of her.
From the pilot we realize that Charlie has no contact with her mother. In the series it is established that they have not seen each other for 7 years.
The first episode JUST talks about Charlie having so called "daddy issues" as her father, Lucifer, is an absentee father.
Charlie appears to NOT have had a close relationship with ANY of the two for some time (or quite some time).
The only person Charlie has is Vaggie, to protect and care for her (here's why Vaggie is so "boring", as some people call her, as she is acting as a guide/parental figure for Charlie, even though their relationship is romantic).
Where am I going with these points? That I think it's complete nonsense for people to take super-literally what Alastor has said: "you're like the daughter I always wanted to have".
Isn't it convenient for the most feared overlord (not the strongest) to approach Charlie and find that she's not as vulnerable as he thought (because Vaggie is there)? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to make a very absolute polarity between Vaggie and him in the pilot, where Vaggie comes off as the "bitter one" and he as the "fun guy"? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to PROVE to Charlie over and over again that HE knows what SHE NEEDS by pulling his tricks? And, oh, surprise… Isn't it even more convenient that when Lucifer arrives, who has a lousy relationship with his daughter, Charlie, Alastor rubs it in his face that he is doing everything that he (Lucifer) is responsible for, and furthermore, hits him right where it hurts, manipulating Charlie so that she seriously BELIEVES that Alastor REALLY sees her that way, and thus making her STILL not have a GUIDE other than HIMSELF?
I'll make it simple for you. You know how narcissists work? They will make you believe that YOU are special, and at the same time, they will ALIENATE you from your loved ones to keep gaining whatever they need from you. Charlie is, literally, his supply.
Alastor is a psychopath and narcissist. Do you really think that someone who can't genuinely empathize and love is literally going to feel affection for a grown woman who is very naive and doesn't even have power over her kingdom because she is so immature? Don't you think it is VERY OBVIOUS that he has literally said to her face: "I'm going to manipulate you in my favor because thanks to me you have all these upgrades in your stupid hotel"?
Alastor hasn't as such made a deal with Charlie, but he's winning her over in HIS way.
And I don't know who's crazier: charlastor shippers like me, who don't give a damn about canon and want to enjoy shipping WITHOUT bothering ANYONE (and don't come out with the stupidity that it's a "proship". Proshipper doesn't even mean "problematic ship", it means that you are FOR shipping whatever you want, living and letting live, without HARASSING others. Let's remember that Hazbin Hotel characters DON'T. FUCKING. EXIST. Alastor is not going to come out of the screen to say: "omg, user, thanks for defending me from those evil shippers uwu", or Charlie to say: "thanks for defending me, you're so good, user…. You're such a good person". Pro: "in favor of", shipper: "shipper, ship", however you want to call it. Don't modify terms to suit yourselves because you can tell that many don't even know how suffixes and prefixes work in words. Neither Charlie nor Alastor are going to die because someone shipped them. They are FICTITIOUS characters. The FANON is not going to change the CANON. Learn to sepparate stuff, ffs. Go out and touch grass once in a while) or antis who put on a pedestal what Alastor said, believing it as a justification to ATTACK people in the fandom who shipped something different, according to them, "problematic".
There they do forget that Alastor is a manipulator, that he is a person with a LOT of arsenal to get his way. There they forget that he IS a guy Charlie should NOT trust. There it DOES count because IT CONVENIENTS THEM. That's when the canon MATTERS to them. There it COUNTS. It doesn't matter if Charlie gets hurt because of trusting Alastor, they only see what they want to see. If you guys are going to humanize this fucking characters, at least be a little bit logical. Got me? Remember what Viv said?: "ship whatever you want, JUST DON'T HARASS ANYONE". These people say: "fuck what Viv says", but on this occasion, since she DID say something convenient for them, it DOES matter what Viv says now, doesn't it? Hypocrites.
Charlie has no one beyond Alastor, and I don't remember where I read that theory, whether it was here or elsewhere, where they talked about Alastor looking for a way to alienate the hotel itself in one way or another. That's why he doesn't use very flashy technology (Vox can travel through the latest electronics, and the hotel has an old box TV), nor does he go out of his way to provide anything of good quality (like the video camera). The hotel has its own power supply (we see this when the blackout occurs during the song between Alastor and Vox).
Alastor DOES NOT WANT Charlie as his daughter, he's just taking advantage of her to get whatever he needs to get out of her.
Charlie doesn't even seem to know exactly how her powers work, and the only person who can teach her is Lucifer, her father. And if Lucifer is out of the equation, Alastor can do whatever he wants.
He's hit Lucifer right in the jugular, and Lucifer knows that all the power in the world can't make up for the wrong he did to Charlie.
Anyway, if a real anti thinks Charlastor is problematic because "AlASTor AlreADy SaiD hE sEES hEr As a DauGhtER," I remind them that they are not dealing with a character who cares about others beyond maintaining his own status, and ffs... they're not even real. KEEP SHIPPING. KEEP DRAWING. KEEP MAKING FANFICS. FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO HARASS YOU, FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE EVERYTHING "PURE" ON A SHOW ABOUT DEMONS AND HELL. FUCK THESE PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE A FANDOM THEIR OWN FUCKING WAY BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HANDLE THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT VIEWS. FUCK THEIR SAVIOR COMPLEX, JUST COMING AROUND WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT CHARACTERS THAT DON'T EXIST, FEEL, OR THINK FOR THEMSELVES, BUT DISAPPEARS ANYTIME SOMEONE REAL COMES, HARASSING AND SENDING DEATH THREATS TO THEM. FUCK THESE PEOPLE, GIVING PSYCHOLOGICAL DIAGNOSES OVER A FUCKING TIKTOK VIDEO OTHER ANTI MADE JUST BASING THEIR THEORIES ON THEIR FIST RESULT ON GOOGLE. FUCK YALL, CAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON YOU WHINE ABOUT THIS FANDOM. JUST AS WE SAY IN SPANISH: O LA BEBES, O LA DERRAMAS.
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astronicht · 8 days
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Hi I hope this isn't presumptuous, but so, that post you made about Tolkien making the lads leave their weapons outside the hall and CS Lewis thinking the hall was gonna get burned down by a lady who also wanted to kill herself... what's the historical precedent for that? Is there a trope in medieval lit where people like... do that? I ask because uh. I am obsessed with Children of Hurin and there's a scene where that like, happens. And I'm obsessed with that scene, and would love to know if there's like, cultural/mythic context that would enrich my knowledge!
OH BOY, sorry I'm getting to this late, it's been uhhh a summer, but one, this is a very good question!! And two, yes there is absolutely precedent, particularly in early medieval literature, and high medieval literature set in the early medieval (circa 500-1100 AD) past. I'll let someone else debate how often people actually historically locked their enemies into a hall and burned them, but especially in Old Norse literature (and if Fellowship felt like it leaned a little more on Old English literature, Two Towers, where Eowyn appears, felt a little more Old Norse) this is common. Off the top of my head, you've got many Icelandic family feuds ending in burning the whole family in their hall, like Njal's Saga (Old Norse), Attila the Hun dramas (yeah he's a big guy in the burning halls circuit, but actually not in the way you might expect) like his cameos in Volsung Saga (Old Norse) and Nibelungelied (Middle High German), and my vague recollection of a few Irish and Welsh versions that no search engine is giving up for me right now.
This, predictably, got long and slightly off topic.
Disclaimer: As usual, I should say I come from an Old English-centric background, and Old English literature is actually notable among all its neighbors for not burning down too many halls. Second disclaimer, all links are not proper citations, they just go to wiki.
Hall-burning in literature is, to my understanding, part of the concerns of a few early medieval cultures in which revenge is not only expected but in many cases legally reinforced and codified, and one in which conflicts could spiral to engulf -- figuratively, or literally and in flames -- entire families. Many medieval Icelandic sagas are focused on this exact type of destruction of whole families or friendship/community units. Most relevant of these to Eowyn, Two Towers, and the vibes of Edoras (since alas I am only partway into RotK and can't speak to Children of Hurin yet!) is Volsung Saga, which is set on the Continent, not Iceland, and actually has to do with Attila the Hun. As mentioned before, an incredible amount of stuff turns out to have to do with Attila. We will come back to him!
So, on the particular post you're talking about, a few people iirc have replied pointing out that the hall in TT is clearly supposed to be based on a hall from Old English literature, namely the hall in Beowulf, which famously did not actually get burnt down. And that's all true! I was not posting with much nuance; I was mostly having a joke at the expense of CS Lewis. However, I was also referencing a very very common trope in Old Norse/early medieval stories, and I personally think JRR was as well (AND I think Beowulf was also very consciously referencing the exact same motif anyway) (no one has to agree with me, a tumblr blog, on any of these points).
The thing about the hall when our heroes approach is that the scariest damn thing in that hall is Eowyn. Certainly not every hall-burning story requires a woman with no other recourse to set the fire (in fact, the "warrior band approaches unknown hall which might have a grudge against them" is a trope that can get you killed in a pretty homosocial environment, as I guess Aragorn at least was aware, being a big reader). Still, the presence of a woman who is swiftly running out of options does fit what I'd consider one of the or perhaps The best known version of the early medieval burning hall trope: Gudrun, who shows up in at least a dozen different texts in both the Scandinavian and the German language traditions, including Volsung Saga, a text which itself often gets paraded around as the basis of lotr (which I'm sure it is, in that JRR appears to have simply and very fairly based lotr on every piece of early medieval vernacular literature I can think of).
In a portion of Gudrun's story (which of course changes a bit in each retelling), after her first marriage she is unhappily married to Atli, who is none other than our main man Attila the Hun. After Attila kills her brothers for reasons (in one version, her father), seeing no other way to take the necessary revenge and no other way out, she kills the two sons she had by him, serves them to Attila for dinner, has Attila killed, and then sets fire to the hall with everyone in it. After this, she attempts to drown herself.
The self-destruction of this act is a really important beat, and has only gotten more-so as a comparison to Eowyn the further I've read into RotK (currently, I'm at the houses of healing after merry and eowyn take on the witch king). It's a lot clearer in the book than the films, for me, that Eowyn going off to battle was not so a straightforward empowering and/or freeing move, despite allowing her some agency, but more the one path she saw as available to her with which to die with honor (which was pretty much exactly what Gudrun was facing as well). Like Gudrun, whose first husband was a great hero but has died, Eowyn's romantic choice is a hero who is presumed dead (sorry Aragorn they did Not believe in your ghost skills). In fact, in some versions Gudrun does put on armor and fight with her brothers before they're killed. She kills Attila with her own hand, with the help of another man who needs to avenge a blood feud against Attila.
So while Eowyn didn't get forced into marriage to Attila Wormtongue (with apologies to both historical Attila and that one historical skald also called Wormtongue who was reportedly hot) and burn the whole place down, she's still trapped, and like Gudrun chooses destruction alongside her household.
Reading her arc feels so much like watching Tolkien write a fix-it for Gudrun. What if she got this one little chance, and this one other little chance, and this one more -- tiny little shifts in the narrative that allow her to get out, and not through fire, and not through death.
Anyway, this got away from me. I hope it added some context to the Children of Hurin arson case! Thanks for the ask
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Hello! Omg I'm so excited you're writing for death note! Can i get a gender neutral reader who maybe helps light or saves his life by pulling him out of the way of a car or something, and he becomes fixated on the and kind of like dedicates his cause as kira towards them?
Of course, love . Sorry for the delay. Death Note has always been one of my favorite shows to write for so I’m a more then thrilled to fulfill your request. Hope you enjoy the story!
Innocence (Yandere! Light Yagami X Reader)
Trigger warnings: I don’t think there are any for this story, but if I missed one, let me know)
Light Yagami needed to follow his normal routine and arrive home. He only had short amount of time where he could write names in the Death Note. Light was cleansing the world, one criminal at a time. In time, he will become the god of the new world.
Although, one thing always troubled him. When he did in fact elimante L, where would Light go from there?
The simple answer was he’d continue killing those making the world rotten and Kira’s reign would prosper.
Wouldn't it be lonely ruling the world by himself? Light never paid that idea much thought. He would never find someone who’d meet his ideals and intellect.
What Light didn’t account for was someone special making their way into his life.
The teenager was in deep thought as he made their way out of the school grounds in the pouring rain.
Without warning, a force hit Light. His umbrella went flying through the air until it cascades onto the drenched sidewalk. He braced himself and closed his eyes as he waited for the fall, but it never came.
Light cautiously opened his eyes to see what stopped him from landing on the ground. The seventeen year old wasshocked to find a good looking high schooler holding tightly onto his arm.
He noticed they were wearing a uniform extremely similar to his own. This mystery person had to have be attending the same school. They were very attractive so Light figured they were probably pretty popular. If that were the case, how come Light couldn’t recognize them. He knew everyone in his classes and he was certainly popular himself. The teen contemplated over the idea that they could be a transfer but Light came to the conclusion that that couldn’t have been the case. He’d be most likely been asked to show them around. The teen would nevee forget a persons face that was constructed like a god/goddess.
Once Light regained his composure, ( Reader) let go of him and leaned down to pick up Light’s discarded umbrella. They handed it out towards him and released an apologetic smile.
Once Light held the umbrella, the other person gave a low bow. They spoke softy, but Light could still hear them over the pitter patter of the rain.
“Please forgive me, Yagami-san. I apologize for hurting you. A car was swerving and looked like it was heading straight towards you.”
(Reader) was terrified to look up from their position. They’d figure Light would simply glare and start to reprimand them. They didn’t have much experience with popular kids.
“Oh, It’s alright, uh…” The teen trailed off, hoping the other would finish his sentence.
“(Reader’s full name).”
“That was very brave of you.” (Reader) looked up at him, puzzled.
“Thank you, but I’m sure anyone would of helped you. I’m no one special.”
“I’m not so certain of that.” Light smiled a bit.
Reader simply nodded in response. The teen expected that to be the end of their discussion with Light Yagami but he did something that shocked them.
Light held out the umbrella so it was protecting both (Reader) and himself from the downpour. This small act of kindness meant the world to (Reader), as they tended to always be ignored by their peers.
The high schooler motion for them to walk together.
How could they possibly refuse Light’s offer without looking rude? If Light Yagami thought (Reader) was rude then they could kiss the days of being a nobody goodbye. They didn’t know much about the teenage boy besides the fact that he was popular and top of the class in terms of intelligence. (Reader) feared they would become the topic of what those kids whisper in the hallway. They’d become the focus of their cold glares.
So they walked with Light.
The two students made causal conversation as they made their way down the street. At first it was awkward but soon they were joking with each other as if they were old friends. Light found out that (Reader) was in almost all of his classes. They explained how they tended ti keep quiet and lurk in the background.
Each word (reader) spoke, resulted in Light coming to the conclusion that made the type of person that Kira was trying to protect.
They were good,hard working, honest and most of all innocent.
He needed to protect them. No, Kira would protect (Reader) and those like them.
He may of just found his partner. Someone to rule the world with him.
“I can’t wait to make you mine, (Reader).” Light muttered to himself.
(Reader) pretended to be oblivious to what her new acquaintance said but in truth, they heard him and they didn’t know what to think.
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inkskinned · 7 months
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most writing advice is good as long as you know why it is good, at which point it is also bad. the hardest thing (and most precious thing) about being an artist is that you gotta learn how to take critique. i don't mean "just shut up and accept that people hate your work," i mean you need to learn what the critique is saying and then figure out if it actually helps.
i usually tell people reading my work: "i'm collecting data, so everything is useful." i ask them where they put the book down, even though it's too long for most people to read in 1 sitting. i ask them what they thought of certain characters. i let them tell me it was really good but i like it more when they look a little stunned and say i forgot i was reading your book, which means they forgot i exist, which is very good news.
sometimes people i didn't ask will read my work and tell me i don't like it. and that is okay, you don't have to like it. but i look at the thing that they don't like and try to figure out if i care. i don't like that you don't capitalize. this one is common, and i have already thought about it. i do not care, it's because of chronic pain and frankly i like the little shape of small letters. you use teeth and ribs in all your work. actually that is very true. i don't know what's up with that. next time i will work to figure out a different word, thank you. you're whiny, go outside. someone said that to me recently and it made me laugh. i am on the whine-about-it website as an internet poet. you are in my native habitat, watching me perform a natural enrichment behavior. but i like the dip of whiny, how the word itself does "whine" (up/down, the sound out your nose on the y), but i don't know if i want to feel whiny. maybe next time i will work on it being melancholy, like what you would call a male writer's poetry.
repeated "good" advice clangs in a bell and doesn't hold a real shape, dilutes in the water. like sometimes you will hear "don't use said." you turn that around in your head and it bounces off the edges of your brain like it is a dvd screensaver. it isn't bad advice, but it feels wrong somehow, like saying easy choices are illegal! sometimes i will only use "said." sometimes i will just kick dialogue tags out to the trash. sometimes i make little love poems where the fact that i do not say "said" is very bad, and makes you feel bad in your body, because someone didn't say something. i am a contrary little shitbird, i guess.
but it is also good advice, actually. it is trying to say that "said" sometimes is clutter. it makes new writers think about the very-small words and very-small choices, because actually your work matters and wordchoice matters. "i know," you said. "i know," you sighed. "i know." we both know but neither of us use a dialogue tag, because we are in a contemporary lit piece.
it is too-small to say don't use said. but it is a big command, so it gets your attention. what are you relying on? what easy choices do you make? when you edit, do you choose the same thing? can you make a different choice? sometimes we need the blankness of said, how it slides into the background. sometimes we don't.
i usually say best advice is to read, but i also mean read books you don't like, because that will make you angry enough to write your own book. i also mean read good books, which will break your heart and remind you that you are a very small person and your voice is a seashell. i also mean you need to eat books because reading a book is a writer's version of studying.
my creative writing teacher in the 7th grade had a big red list of no! words and on it was SUNSET. RAZORS. LOVE. GALAXY. DEATH. BLOOD. PAIN. I liked that razor and love were tucked next to each other like birds, and found it funny that he believed we were too young to know the weight of razor in the context of pain. i hated him and his Grateful Dead belt, where the colored teddy bears held up his appraisal of us. i hated his no list. it is very good/bad advice. i wasn't old enough yet to know that when you are writing about death you are also writing about sunsets and when you write about love you are tucking yourself into a napkin that never stops folding.
back then my poetry was all bloody, dripped with agony when you picked it up. i didn't know there is nothing beautiful about a razor, nothing exciting about pain. i just understood sharpness, which he took to mean i understood nothing. i wrote the razor down and it wasn't easy, but it was necessary. that's what i'm saying - sometimes it's good advice, because it's not always necessary. and sometimes it is very bad advice, because writing about it is lifesaving.
hang on my dog was just having a nightmare. i heard that it is a rule not to write about dogs - in my creative writing mfa, my teacher rolled her eyes and said everyone writes a dead dog. the literature streets are littered in canine bodies. i watched the rise and fall of his ribs (there is that word again) and had to reach out and stop the bad dream. when he woke up he didn't recognize me, and he was afraid.
it is good/bad advice to say that poems and writing have to mean something. it is bad/good advice to say they're big feelings in small packages. it is better advice to say that when my dog saw where he was, he relaxed immediately, rubbed his face against me. someone on instagram would make fun of that moment by writing their "internet poetry" as a sentence that tumbles across a white page: outside it is sunset and my dog is still in a gutter, bleeding a galaxy out of his left paw. or maybe it would be: i woke the dog up/the dog forgot i loved him/and i saw the shape of a senseless/and impossible pain.
the dog is alive in this one, and he is happy. when i tell you i love you, i know what i said. write what you need to write, be gentle to yourself about it. the advice is only as good as far as it helps. the rest is just fencing. take stock of the boundaries, and then break them. there's always somewhere else you could be growing.
i love you, keep going.
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can I request a Vox x reader fluff where they've both been struggling to come to terms with their feelings but when something (you can decide what) happens and the reader gets hurt really badly, he confesses
ANOOOOOOOOON!! YOU. GET ME. SO GOOD. HOW DARE YOU HIT ME UP WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES?? Literally, give this trope to me as many times as yall want. I'll find a million ways to write it. Reap the repercussions and enjoy the food you beautiful homie, you!
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Star-Crossed Idiots [Vox x Reader]
Vox refused to believe it.
Velvette had been the one to call him out on his shit first. Unlike him, she had a semblance of emotional maturity that meant she was perceptive to shit that flew over his head entirely. While he didn't understand why he found himself going out of his way to spend time with you, Velvette figured it out in a matter of days. The very fact that he had kept his involvement with you a secret was suspicious in itself. Not to mention, Velvette realized before he did. When she discovered his feelings for you, she found it hilarious. And a touch pathetic.
"I mean really Vox, you have zero reason to even know them," Velvette scoffed as she sipped on the frappuccino he had used to buy her silence. Things were already messy enough with Valentino. He had no intention of the pissy moth hearing of this until whatever this was, was sorted.
"Yet you constantly check in on their phone activity, go out of your way to run into them on the streets, and now they're even working for you just because your needy ass wanted an excuse to see them on the regular," Velvette listed as Vox did everything in his power to avoid eye contact.
Vox buried his face in his hands and groaned while Velvette rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't it just be easier to ask them out at this point? I love you, darling, but you're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be."
"No," Vox growled as he looked up and shot her a warning glare. "Do you have any idea how much shit we'd be in if I just started dating some random sinner? And that's only if the feelings were mutual."
He ran his hand down his screen with a huff, turning to look at Vark swimming up to the glass. While Vox had originally had the aquarium extend to the meeting rooms for a sense of looming intimidation, he'd found quite a bit of comfort in his sharks being able to follow him through the tower.
"Look, for all we know, I'm just pent up," Vox tried to reason. It sounded fake, even to his own ears, but he was in denial. There was too much bullshit he'd have to face if he really was as whipped for you as he feared. "It's been a shit couple of weeks. I probably just need a break and a good fuck and this will all be something you make fun of me about next week for ever entertaining in the first place."
Velvette shook her head, sighing as she pulled out her phone and started to scroll.
"Whatever you say."
---
You refused to believe it.
There was no way you fell for Vox of all people. For starters, you told yourself you'd never love again! Every time you'd tried, disaster followed. It didn't help that any potential match was one to be made in Hell. Granted, you knew not everyone in Hell was bad. There were a lot of sinners who you firmly believed belonged in Heaven or some sort of equivalent.
But even so... Vox was definitely not one of those people. Not that that was the important part or truly mattered. You were no saint either, you were also in Hell.
"I don't see what the big deal is toots," Angel Dust sighed as he watched you give Fat Nuggets attention to keep your hands busy through the stress. "There are worse people to have a crush on."
"There's better too," you whined. "I'd rather not have a crush at all," you muttered bitterly as your hand continued the soothing action of petting the teacup pig.
You'd originally been on the production team for one of Valentino's studios. That was how you befriended Angel Dust and why Vox scooped you out from under Valentino to work on his own set. He told you it was because he valued someone who had an ear for audio balance, but Angel said he'd only offered you the new job after the overlord walked in on the cameraman flirting with you right before.
"Why not just fuck the guy and see if it's a matter of heart or a matter of-"
You laughed as you covered Angel's mouth with one of your hands. "Okay, okay! Don't... finish that sentence. I won't let you taint poor little Fat Nuggets ears with your porn language."
Angel snickered as you pulled back your hand. "But you see my point, right?"
"I do," you sighed. "But that's... not really my style. If anything, I think it'd just hurt to see him after something like a casual fling. The idea of him wanting my body, but not me? Yeah no. I'll choose the healthier option of repressing my feelings, thank you very much."
"I'm telling ya, he's into you," Angel groaned. "I've seen the way he is with people he thinks are hot. I've seen him with Val. You're different, toots."
You smile sadly at Angel and put Fat Nuggets down on the bed. It was clear you didn't believe Angel and he was on the verge of ripping out his fur because of it. The two of you were so unbelievably oblivious it was gonna kill him again. "Thanks, Angie but... it's okay. Really, it is."
He sighed and eventually let it go. The two of you talked about other things for a while before Charlie peeked into his room to ask for your help on something. Once you were gone, he rolled over the conversation in his mind as he tried to think of ways to get the ball rolling on your love life.
Angel shook his head with a sigh and pulled out his phone. He scooped up Fat Nuggets and flopped back in his bed as the dialing sound filled the room. The line connected, and he was quick to the point.
"Hey, I know we don't really talk, but I've got an idea."
---
"Really Angie, I don't think this was necessary," You grumbled as you tugged down on the all-too-short skirt of the outfit he'd squeezed you into.
"Oh, but it was and it is," Angel grinned as he took your hand and twirled you in the entry hall to the club. You rolled your eyes and let him spin you in jest. He'd asked you to come with him to one of your old coworkers' birthday parties.
Apparently, one of the rules was to dress like you'd get hired to dance at the club. At least, that had been Angel's excuse when you questioned why he was hovering over you as he did your hair, and makeup and held up several outfits to your body that you doubted would fit.
Despite the discomfort of getting all dolled up, you were happy he'd invited you. It had been a while since you saw your old friends. That being said, it would have been more fun if you weren't tugging down your skirt every two minutes. You weren't the only one hyperaware of how much of your skin was exposed. Nor of the way the fabric hugged your frame tightly. Several of your old friends had suggested you return to the studio with a job in front of the camera instead of in the shadows of the set.
You'd been having a good time, sticking to the corner of the room with some of your old friends to watch the drinks while the rest were out on the dance floor. One of the drunker sinners of the bunch accidentally knocked over some of the drinks while she'd been telling a story about the recent cam show she did. You volunteered to go get more napkins from the bar. One of your friends came with you to reorder the ruined drinks and the two of you had nearly pushed your way through the crowd when you heard a familiar voice call your name through the noise.
Vox didn't have to fight through the crowd the way you had. The second sinners saw the glow of his screen, they were quick to move out of his path. Your friend touched your arm, pulling your attention away from the approaching overlord. They winked at you and told you they had the drink issue handled.
When you turned, you caught Vox's screen flickering from pink to his usual blue. You had never seen any color other than the "You don't get to sleep" blue light, so you assumed it was just a trick of the flashing dance lights above.
"I didn't think you'd be here," you say to break the tension. This wasn't the first time you'd seen him in casual wear, nor was it the first time you'd seen Vox since realizing you had feelings for him. Even so, your heart was beating hard just from the sight of him.
"A-Ah yeah, well," Vox stammered as the music blared through the busy room. "Velvette wanted to drop by. She said something about wanting to check the place out as a potential venue for an upcoming show."
"Just the two of you?" you ask, perking up slightly.
"It was supposed to be," Vox chuckled dryly. His grin was tired and forced as he looked to the side and scanned the room. "Valentino heard we were coming here and tagged along. I don't know why, but Velvette got really heated about it. Something about him fucking up her plans..."
"Oh," your shoulders drop. You cringe internally, wishing you could take back the bitterness in your voice. You hoped it wasn't too obvious, but the way Vox was looking at you like you were some sort of a puzzle told you everything you needed to know.
You actually loved Velevette. She was sassy and cutthroat but had a kind side to her as well. Valentino however... He'd been the source of a lot of suffering for the people you cared about. While the more obvious examples of Angel Dust returning to the hotel looking like shit came to mind, so did the times you had to comfort Vox after being yanked this way and that by the moth emotionally.
That was actually how you'd realized you'd come to care for him as deeply as you do. He'd been standing alone in one of the meeting rooms with a distant look on his face. When you found him and asked him if he was okay, he tried to play it off with his usual bravado, but couldn't. He never cried in front of you, he only vented his frustrations about Valentino and you listened. You sympathized. And eventually, you found yourself wishing you could be the one to treat him better.
Vox opened his mouth to say something, only for Valentino to slip his arm around his shoulder, appearing out of nowhere from the crowd.
"There you are baby," he purred, his fingers immediately slipping under the collar of Vox's vest. You resisted the urge to gag as Valentino took a long puff from his pipe and blew the majority of the smoke in your direction.
"I was wondering where you up and fucked off to," Valentino grinned as he leaned down to nip drunkenly at Vox's shoulder. "You left me all alone with our little fashionista, "Valentino scoffed. "She's in such a bitchy mood."
If it wasn't bad enough that Valentino was practically drooling all over Vox in front of you and pretending you weren't there, insult was only added to injury when Valentino grinned at you with sharp teeth when he called Velvette bitchy.
"Come back and unwind with me," Valentino hummed as he started to kiss up Vox's neck. "Some of my best toys are here tonight. Don't you want to play?"
If Vox had any doubt he was in Hell before, he had every reason to confirm the fact at this moment. He'd fallen out of love with Valentino, but the almost... the almost killed him. To make it worse, he was completely frozen, letting it all happen in front of you. He made no moves to stop Valentino, he made no moves to reciprocate. He simply froze.
Unable to watch any longer as Vox continued to fall for the very same game of tug-o-war he told you he was done with, you bite your lip and turn on your heel. You can't tell if you heard Vox say your name or if it was just a trick of the crowd.
"Anyone else gonna drink this?" You asked as you rejoined your friends still at the table and pointed to one of the more full glasses left on the table. When your friends who were sober enough to answer said you could go for it, you tossed it back in one shot.
You griped to one of your friends who had stayed behind to watch over those too drunk to make good choices. The two of you had been having a damn good venting session about how stupid you felt your feelings were when the entire bar swayed. Your words slurred as your body grew heavy.
One second you were sitting up, wondering why your friend looked so concerned. The next second there was a sharp pain against the temple of your forehead, followed by a heavy thunk, more pain, and darkness.
---
Vox had been desperately searching the dance floor for any sign of you. He'd torn away from Valentino and the moth hadn't bothered to follow. Vox would... handle that another time. For as much as he denied his feelings for you this morning, the second he saw the hurt look in your eyes he knew he had to tell you. There was no way he could ignore the sharp lurch in his chest at the sight of you.
He didn't know what it meant. He couldn't tell if it was just a sense of betrayal after he'd been so open with you about Valentino or if it was something more. Every time he found himself wanting to talk about his true feelings on anything, he wanted to talk to you. Every time he had a rare second alone in the middle of the night, the only touch he craved was yours. Yes, he had a history with Valentino, but he didn't actively want that. He wanted you.
He finally spotted you across the room, sitting at a table with one of the whores he'd seen at Valentino's studio and getting way too close to them for his liking. He made his way through the drunken idiots who were too far gone to notice him, keeping his eyes on you as you started swaying dangerously.
You tried to reach down for something on the table and Vox swore as you lost what little balance you had and fell over. Someone got in his way so he didn't see the impact, but somehow he heard it. Through all the noise he heard the sharp thud and the panicked swearing of the person you were with after.
Vox was suddenly shoving every idiot out of his way, ignoring their shouts as he ran into the small clearing and found you on the ground with blood seeping from your head. He was immediately on his knees, scooping you up as the sinner who'd been with you started freaking out.
The only thing Vox could hear was a high-pitched whine as he pulled you to him and tried to frantically find where you were bleeding from. Half of your head was dripping with blood and he vaguely registered your friend saying your head had hit the edge of the table.
"Just s̴̢̃ḧ̸̺u̸͇͋t̷̯͂ ̷̬̂u̶͖̓p̵̳͗!̶̳͌," Vox snapped as he whipped up and affixed the sinner with a violent glare. He didn't care that half the club was looking at him. For once, he didn't care that he'd made a scene. Logically, he knew something like this couldn't kill you, you were all already dead. But his hands were shaking violently and the buzzing in his head was getting louder because you weren't moving.
Everything around him flashed with bright blue light as he held you close and teleported out of the club without even thinking about it. The two of you reappeared in his room back at the tower and he let out a shaky breath as he placed you down on his bed.
Not knowing what to do, Vox quickly crossed the room and threw his bathroom door open as he searched for anything he could use to stop the bleeding. He was muttering furiously as he nearly ripped the hinges off the cupboard under the sink looking for anything he could use.
Vox let out a loud, angry shout as his body kept glitching. His movements were jerky and he'd hit his head on the sink twice now. Just as he was about to have an absolute meltdown, he heard you groan from his bedroom. His head snapped up and he turned around at the sound of your voice so fast he was surprised he didn't snap his own neck.
Vox yanked a towel off of the wall and scrambled across the nylon tiles as he fell into his room with all the grace of a CEO that he clearly had. He swore, picking himself up and coming over to you as you sat up and clutched your head.
"Shit, that stuff was stronger than I thought," you groaned. "Note to self, don't just chug random alcohol at the club." you tried to laugh, only to hiss as the pain in your head doubled down due to the movement.
"You're a fucking idiot," Vox sighed as he sat down next to you and lifted the towel to your head.
You flinched at the contact, and Vox grabbed your wrist with his free hand. "Stay still," he frowned, pressing again on the wound. "You're still bleeding."
Trying not to do more damage, you stay as still as possible while he tries to stop the bleeding. The silence is heavy between the two of you before you mumble quietly.
"Sorry..."
Vox blinks, frowning down at you. "For what?"
You avoid eye contact the best you can given your current condition and fist your hands on your thighs nervously. "For acting like an idiot. You've told me about how hard it is with Valentino. I should've said or done something and not have gotten..."
"Upset?" Vox finished for you quietly. You flinched, unable to read the tone in his voice. He sighed and slowly lifted the towel from your head, before lowering it. "Why did you?"
"It's stupid," you bite your lip, hand drifting up curiously to see how bad the wound is. Before your fingers could brush against your hair, Vox's hand grabbed your wrists again.
"Try me."
You couldn't say if it was due to the pain, blood loss, or alcohol in your system, but the moment you finally gathered the courage to look him in the eye, you said fuck it. Vox gasped as you surged forward and pressed your lips against his. He'd barely had a chance to process the feeling before you were already turned away from him and rambling some bullshit about how you knew he didn't feel the same.
He took your hand, ignoring the anxious nonsense flowing from your mouth, and lifted it to his lips. Your speech died on your tongue as his lips pressed against the palm of your hand.
"Do you have any idea how much you've been on my mind?" He growled softly, his lips trailing up your arm slowly as he practically worshiped your skin.
If it wasn't for the fact that your blood was still on his hands, Vox would have been so much more rough with you. He would have grabbed you and crashed his lips against yours. He would have torn the fabric that hugged your curves so tightly off of your body and shown you just how badly he'd been needing you.
Instead, he made do with tracing his claw under your chin and guiding you to face him properly. His eyes searched yours for any doubt or sign that you'd acted purely on adrenaline and not something more. When your breath hitched and your cheeks flushed, he knew. As he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, as his arms snaked down and pulled you flush against him like you'd break, as your fingers found a home in his vest he knew.
You wanted him too. You fell for him too. This wasn't a game of "do they, don't they" like the one he'd played with Valentino for so fucking long.
His breath hitched, his arms tightening around you before he slowly pulled back and laughed breathlessly.
"Does this mean we're dating?" you ask, smiling at him like he'd hung the stars in the sky.
"God that sounds cheesy," Vox grimaced. The phrase felt so... high school bullshit. But it wasn't wrong. He wanted that. He really wanted that with you.
He reached down, hesitating before his clawed hand gently covered yours. "But yeah... I guess it does," he smiled softer than you'd ever seen before.
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cor-lapis · 8 months
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I decided to have a go at doing my own redesigns because these three are my favourites and I love them very much. further notes + sources under the readmore (warning: lots of text). I did my best with the research, but if there's anything I overlooked, I'd really appreciate people letting me know :)
Tighnari:
My main source for Tighnari was this excellent thread, from which I looked up each item of clothing individually. Since djellabas tend to be quite long, and Tighnari needs mobility for forest ranger activities, I figured he would cut and re-hem the lower half. He also has a lot of clothing pieces that are traditionally multicoloured, but to keep his design cohesive I decided to use the same colours across different items, but using a larger palette of colours than I would usually. I like the bright colours on him a lot though!
There are also some minor details I just changed because I wanted to. The flower on his chest is now a nilotpala lotus, because I thought it was nice to include his acension material/the material he asks you to help gather. The dirt stains/scuff marks are because rainforests are muddy and I wanted the design to emphasise Tighnari being very practical and hands-on with his work (see also, the specimen belt).
Finally, I shrunk the magnifying glass on his back (because I'm pretty sure it's meant to be his first magnifying glass toy and that thing is very large for a child to handle) and gave him an undercut because it seemed right. Also, I merged his front and back trailing cloths into a scarf type of thing that he could wrap around his nose and mouth to prevent inhaling spores from mushrooms.
Collei:
COLLEI my beloved. I had a mild nightmare trying to figure out a specific source culture for her design, but nobody seemed to know specifics and her outfit wasn't matching with any traditional dress I looked up, so in the end decided to keep the overall look the same. Just in case I assigned her something else, but then it turned out I missed her actual inspiration.
Anyway, I made her shoes simpler (no fur, heels, and open toes in the rainforest seemed reasonable to me), and gave her shorts. I liked the green colour because it's pretty unique under a dark dress, and pairs nicely with Nahida's white dress + green undersides. Amber's tie stays, but I made most of her jewellery smaller since it felt a little clunky for a trainee ranger.
Her earring and necklace(?) are allusions to the Evil Eye and the Khmissa/Hamsa, both symbols of protection. Especially considering the fact they're meant to ward off evil, and very common across multiple MENA cultures, it seemed fitting for Collei to have them. Also, she has Eleazar scars, and I used the design for her stockings as inspiration for the combination knee braces (similar to those used for arthritis, since Eleazar also causes stiff limbs and I HC that people affected would probably still need some recovery support)/knee pads (in the case of a fall). I like the idea that Kaveh would have helped make them for her (tangent but the fic Here is the House explores similar ideas; it's really really good, I heavily recommend it). Finally, she has curly hair because I thought it would be cute.
Cyno:
Here's the thread I found for Cyno. The main critique was to do with the eras from which each aspect of his clothing drew inspiration, but I admittedly wouldn't be able to do much about this without a lot of research. One thing I did try and verify was the small strip of cloth on the left of his chest, and I found a few wall murals where the people seem to be wearing similar strips of cloth? (example here; rightmost figure) Therefore, I didn't remove it, but if someone wants to explain Ancient Egyptian clothing history to me I'd be really interested to hear it 6.6
I might iterate on the design in the future, but for now the changes are mostly HC territory. Cyno wearing his hair in locs (a protective hairstyle) makes sense for someone who does a lot of hiking after rogue scholars, and I also gave him quite old and faded top surgery scars because healthcare is canonically free in Sumeru (thanks for that information, al-Haitham)(though tbf Cyno makes bank anyway). I also adjusted the colours a bit, since Genshin tends to use desaturated shades for metallic elements.
I also considered giving Cyno more scars, but figured that it could indicate Hermanubis' presence that someone you'd expect to get injured a lot is relatively scar-free (i.e. some sort of godly healing factor/resistance to damage). However, we know next to nothing about Hermanubis, so Cyno having a lot of scars also makes sense. This paragraph is mostly just a cry for help cyno story quest 2 literally any more elaboration about the nature of Hermanubis' pact and the Temple of Silence.
Conclusion
I wasn't intending to write one when I started the explanations but this got REALLY long so if you made it this far, thank you so so much ToT please check out the links; the threads especially were a great resource, and I'm grateful that people take the time to make them <3 genshin's character design department are cowards but I'm glad I learned some new things through the redesign process
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sluttycinderella · 3 months
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Razorgate: an empirical, peer reviewed study*
*there is nothing genuinely scientific about this, it is merely a result of mental illness and unemployment.
So we all saw this right?
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But after this bomb was dropped I began to get curious about the other slittenings. Did they use the same razor for all of them and no one had noticed? Do they actually own more than one razor? And if they don't, if this is truly the only phrazor, then I don't think I have to tell you that raises a lot of questions.
Firstly, I went back to where this all began, Phil's Birthday stream, to identify the razor that carved the very first slit and forever cemented itself as a part of herstory:
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Now that is very clearly the Manscaped logo, no question about it. Here’s a high quality photo of the logo for comparison:
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(You can also clearly see in the Twitter post that it says "Manscaped" across it but I like to double check my work and I also wanted to prove that they were both Manscaped)
And it's a good thing I did double check because OP made a CRITICAL ERROR in their post! They claim that the razor in question is the Lawn Mower 4.0 when in fact it's the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra! Unlike the PUNY, PATHETIC, UNMANLY 4.0, the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra comes with an interchangeable foil blade, a USB port, and a more advanced spotlight!
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How could OP be so careless? Dan and Phil would never own an outdated razor! They require only the finest in ball shaving technology!
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Also fun fact: The first appearance of the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra on the Manscaped YouTube channel falls right in between the dapg return announcement and their first video back so make of that what you will...I for one shall be sculpting my own hill out of the very earth itself, "Manscaped Sponsorship Hill", I encourage you all to join me.
So after spending far too long researching the intricacies of razors that shave an organ I don't even have, I now needed to check if it was the same razor being used in every slittening:
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Here they are side by side for comparison, left is Phil’s birthday, middle is the We're All Doomed post-premiere, right is Dan’s birthday. Now it appears the WAD one is missing the logo but I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to the poor quality of the clip I found (if anyone has a better version PLEASE hit me up so I can confirm my hypothesis). And considering the photo taken in the aftermath seems to show Phil holding the 5.0 Ultra:
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the same thing.
“But,” I hear you shouting, “so what if Dan and Phil used the same razor for all the streams? They already said they only owned one razor so who cares?” Well this isn’t so much about proving that they’re the same razor as it is establishing a baseline. It’s hard to trust basically anything Dan and Phil say lately, what with piggate and the “pillow” bar and the fake view from the Phouse, knowing that they aren’t lying about only having one razor (to the best of our knowledge) is crucial in figuring out what exactly is going on. Remember, we’re doing science here.
And with that in mind: In my professional opinion, I can say that for all three slittenings, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra was the weapon of choice.
Sidenote: I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of Manscaped reviews during all of this and apparently Manscaped razors are kind of just a scam. This razor is $109 and they try to trick their customers into subscribing to their "Peak Hygiene Plan" which you don't actually need by offering a deceptive discount and hiding the terms where people aren't likely to see them. So yeah, fuck Manscaped and I for one think we should cancel Dan and Phil for not ethically consuming under capitalism.
But that's beside the point, we know that they indeed only have one razor and that that razor...is for balls. What does that tell us?
Conclusions
There are a multitude of conclusions one could jump to in the light of such a revelation, I shall display them in a convenient numbered list for your viewing pleasure:
One of them prefers to use straight (lol) razors to shave their...you know...I don't actually know if this is a thing people do or if it's even possible, people with balls please sound off in the comments, thank you
Only one of them actually shaves in which case I support them as an infamous pussy hair enthusiast (iykyk)
They share a razor (Please, God, no, that's actually disgusting)
Either way, this thing was on someone's balls and then it touched both their faces so I really hope they cleaned it properly!
Alright, so that whole exploration may have been a bit useless, it indeed only confirmed what we had already been told, but I spent literal hours comparing photos of ball hair trimmers and I'm not one to admit defeat. Consider yourselves peer reviewed, Dan and Phil, and maybe check out Beardscape instead! Apparently they have better, more comprehensive razors for the same price.
If anyone even more demon than me has any corroborating evidence (maybe of them using straight razors at any point or anything else razor related that they've said in the past) please let me know so I can take it into consideration! Thank you all for your time.
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