#the first alcohol wipe i used literally came back completely fucking black because it's so gross

[fabulouslygaybean]

why did i have to get assigned the nastiest fucking school laptop 😭

[professorrw]

The New Recruit

Pairing: female reader x Wanda Maximoff

Requested: Yes

Warnings: reader isn’t sure of sexuality/hasn’t come out, alcohol, partying, fluff, making out, mentions of human experiments

A/N: Requests are open for one-shots, headcanons, imagines, and drabbles for My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, and Marvel! My taglist is open so if you’d like to be on that just tell me! Please like, comment, and reblog!

After all the attacks that had been made on Earth in the past ten years the Avengers thought it was time to find a new member. Who better than a 24 year old girl that grew up in a lab? From a young age you were experimented on and eventually developed powers. Said powers being cloning. You can create duplicates of yourself for a limited amount of time, and during that time they do whatever you project them doing.

Your father, or the mad scientist that created your powers got arrested when you were 15, leaving you with your grandparents. You were kept under surveillance until you came of age 3 years later. You acted like everyone else, going to college and then getting a job. That was until you got a call from Nick Fury. He knew about the tests and experiments that were done to you and asked if you could control those powers.

That was how you ended up becoming an Avenger. It was exhilarating to finally use your cloning for good.

The Avengers became like your second family, Wanda especially. She was the closest in age to you, only being about a year younger. She too was experimented on and ended up with powers. The rest of the squad was weary of her. Her emotions were strong because of everything she had been through.

You and Wanda quickly became close. Like sisters close. But there was something there you were afraid to explore. You felt… attracted to Wanda in a way you hadn’t before. You weren’t opposed to dating girls. You’ve been with a few guys before but it never lasted. You could never confide in them your secrets, your power.

Your sexuality was something you’d never explored. But Wanda made you feel safe and warm. When she touched you it made your breath hitch and when she looked at you your heart ached. You didn’t know how to tell her, or how to tell any of the crew you liked men and women. But you could start with telling Wanda how you felt. You had an inkling that maybe she felt the same way about you.

You were hanging out with Wanda in your room, watching a romance movie that you found. You thought it was a romance movie but by the end of it you were both crying. It ended in tragedy, which you didn’t know.

You turned to Wanda who was crying. You both looked at each other and giggled. You reached out to help Wanda wipe her tears. You cupped her cheek and swiped your thumbs beneath her eyes. You didn’t retract your hands when you finished though. You realized the close proximity you were in. Your eyes flickered from her parted lips to her pupils. Without saying anything you leaned in and so did Wanda.

The kiss between you was electric. Fireworks went off and lights flickered (not literally). You kissed once, then again, then once more. You rested your forehead against Wanda’s while you both breathed. Wanda licked at her lips and wistfully sighed.

“What?” you whispered.

“I wasn’t sure if you…” she trailed off.

“Me either but I know how I feel about you. I like you Wanda.”

Now she was cupping your face, pulling you in for one more kiss.

That was the beginning of your relationship with Wanda. You both agreed to keep it a secret until you were ready. You didn’t want to tell the whole squad about your sexuality and attraction to Wanda just yet. You would kiss in private or hold hands when no one was watching. Little risks like those set your heart ablaze. You felt like a kid keeping secrets from your parents.

You kept this up for a while and you planned to tell everyone soon. Wanda was nothing but patient with you. She said she liked the secret looks and touches. You were still going with the whole charade when Tony announced his birthday party would be in a few days. You never experienced one yourself but Thor and Natasha told you how over the top they were. 

For the party you dressed in a short dress with a low hanging neck that flattered your body. You also put on a pair of strappy heels, fit for the occasion. You could hear the music playing in the main living area as you went down in the elevator. You peered out the floor to ceiling windows and saw cars lining the street. Leave it to Tony to invite every single celebrity he knows. 

You stepped out onto the level that the party was happening. The whole floor was full of people dancing, drinking, and lounging around the couches and pool table. You immediately spotted Wanda across the dance floor and you had to go all the way around to get to her. Your jaw dropped when you saw her. She was wearing a gorgeous deep red blazer and matching pants with a belt to cinch in her waist. To go along with it she had black glittering heels that made her taller than usual.

Seeing her like that and not being able to touch her was the hardest game of temptation you had ever played with yourself.

“You look amazing!” you yelled over the music.

“So do you!”

You both went to the bar to start the night off right. Natasha happened to be occupying the bartender position and made you the ultimate party drink to get you loose in no time. The drink had a satisfying burn as it went down your throat. You downed the rest of it, resulting in a wild laugh from Natasha. “I just know you can party!”

You took Wanda’s hand and pulled her over to the dance floor. You moved in time with the music, feeling yourself up as you danced in circles. Your girlfriend was completely hypnotized by the provocative way you were moving your body. She couldn’t resist anymore and put her hands on your waist. The alcohol was strong and was already clouding your thought process. At the moment all you wanted to do was dance.

Hundreds of sweaty bodies were moving and sliding around on top of each other. Wanda was behind you now and moving back and forth with you. You threw your head back on her shoulder and guided her hands up and down your torso. She had finally broken her resistance. She pulled you away from the party and into the empty hall that held the elevator.

“What-” She pressed you against the wall and crashed her lips against yours. She was gripping your hips, which had been tempting her all night. You were pulling her even closer by her neck, head turning this way and that as you tasted the drink on her tongue.

Heels clacking pulled you out of the kiss. You gazed over at the person who so rudely interrupted you and saw that it was Natasha. Oh fuck. You suddenly felt as sober as a saint.

“Natasha- I- We-”

She chuckled, “You don’t have to explain yourselves to me. I already knew. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” She winked and returned to the bustling party.

You leaned your head against the wall. “Shit.”

“Hey gorgeous, it’s okay.” Wanda put her hand on your cheek and leaned back into you. “She said she wouldn’t tell. I trust Natasha.”

“No. It’s about time I told everyone. If you want to, that is.”

“Do whatever you’re comfortable with, baby.” You let out a breath with your nose and smiled at your girlfriend. She smiled too and then continued to kiss you.

You ended up leaving the party early, which didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the Avengers, who asked you about it at breakfast the next day.

“Why did you two leave last night? The party was just getting started.” Tony was drinking a green smoothie but put it down when you two came in.

Wanda looked at you, encouraging you.

“Um… we left. Together. Me and Wanda are… together.” You shifted your weight from one foot to another as you gaged your teammate’s reactions.

Realization dawned on everyone’s faces other than Natasha’s. Tony was the first to speak again. “Well I think this calls for a celebration.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. 

You laughed, in awe of your team. Of course they wouldn’t judge you.

Taglist: @bellamy1998​

[imaginesofeverykind]

Snowed In || Joel Miller x F!Reader

(Its ironic because this smut is 6k words so it didn’t do that quickly AT ALL LMAOOOO) This took me too many fucking days to write, its so hard to get into smut mentality like holy fucq

YALL I FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED IT HOLY SHIT

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Request: Can I request some Joel Miller fluff (mayyyybe some smut?) I could totally see getting snowed in with him 😏🥰

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: S M U T and S W E A R I N G annndd implied age gap but its not stated (reader is probs like thirties or older) AND you guys being the biggest pain in the ass for Joel :)

Also @ me stanning how yall interract with each other because the banter is highkey lowkey fun lmaoooo

“Ah, shit!” You cursed loudly, your feet stampeding desperately in thick snow while increasingly aware of the group of hunters — that managed to get the jump on you — were probably still tailing you. Your hands clamped down harshly on the wound you bled profusely from, droplets of crimson blood stained the snow with each step.

“Joel!” You shouted in desperation, approaching the lookout as you internally prepared yourself for getting blasted by the old man for being reckless — or better yet, leading the hunters to the lookout. You didn’t want to linger to long on those thoughts, not while you quite literally had an arrow protruding out of your side.

It wasn’t the first time you’d inconsequently been impaled by something or other, and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last. You had at least hoped that the impending snowstorm worsened and covered your blood trail quicker than you were making pace.

Breathlessly, you lean against the lookouts outer walls, scanning the area for potential hunters. Luckily for you the progressively heavier snowfall deterred any prospect of human threats. You rap hard and heavy on the metal reinforced door, holding onto your side as a wince escapes your lips.

“Joel! For fucks sake… Open the damn door!” You gritted, the bite of the cold air finally hitting the wound you so desperately tried to keep covered. It was incredibly clear that the older man was tactful and cautious, having been on plenty of runs, watches and patrols with him opened you up to his reserved nature.

However, it was getting ridiculous considering the urgency in your voice that now of all times, he decided to cautiously approach.

The door was pulled open, after a succession of noises that were no doubt the barricades being moved. Joel poked his head out, looking around before settling on your hunched figure, “what the hell did you do this time?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing past him as you yearned for the warmth and safety of the lookout, “I’m great — thanks for askin’.” You stumble over to what was once most likely a bar, the remnants of liquor bottles and on tap beer seemed to be a good indicator of that.

Readjusting the barricade, Joel finally makes his way over to you. Concern wasn’t a typical expression he showed to anyone other than toward Ellie, seeing it flicker across his face as he approached you nearly knocked you off the stool you sat on. It was brief but you absolutely noticed it.

“You mind fillin’ me in on what happened out there?” His brow was raised as he gestured to your wound. He was taking his time to gather the gauze and alcohol to patch you up, but he was acutely aware that if it was something to panic about he’d be much quicker.

Joel had known you for a while, in the time you two spent together on patrols he knew that if anyone could handle an arrow through the torso it was most definitely you. He admired your grit — although he’d never admit it, you were one of the only people whose company he enjoyed.

“Pissed off some fuckin’ Hunters… Don't think they liked me killin’ one of their buddies,” your words staggered with intermittent shallow breaths. You eyed your companion as he almost deliberately slowly made his way in front of you with the appropriate supplies needed to patch you up.

His hardened personal walls had attracted you like a moth drawn to a flame, from your first meeting to now, you had been determined to understand the mysterious man who just so happened to also be your neighbour. “Old age really must be gettin’ to you old man — leave me to just bleed out why don’t ya?”

“If it was serious I’m sure you’d be dead ‘lready.” He retorted, unphased by your not so subtle jab at him. And there it was. That little playful glint in his eyes that you’d only witnessed a handful of times prior, it proved to you that he wasn’t completely closed off and coarsened by the shitshow life turned out to be for him.

You scoff at him, a smirk grazing your lips as you make good use of the whiskey beside you, “well ain’t I lucky to be accompanied by someone so concerned about my life,” you took a swig of the bottle, hoping that the smooth liquor would ease the pain permeating from your side.

He chuckled at the harshness in your voice, “concerned? That’s a funny way of puttin’ it… C’mon by the fire I need a better look at this.”

Looking back at him stunned, you pulled a face that was somewhere between shock and delight, “did I just get two jokes from Joel Miller? In succession? You get bit or somethin’ while I was gone?” You eased yourself off the stool and slowly staggered toward the fire, obliging Joel’s request.

You propped yourself up against one of the weathered armchairs, time had not been kind to the piece of furniture as seen by the cracked leather and copious amount of stains. Before getting too comfortable, you shrugged off the outer layers of jackets you typically adorned to protect yourself from the harsh winters around Wyoming.

The flannel you had over top of the long sleeved thermal shirt you wore was unluckily pinned to your side by the arrow, it used to be a dark blue with green accents — now it was almost black with the pooling blood soaking into the fibers.

Joel was looking at you in thought, memories resurfacing of Colorado and reliving his own time having been impaled due to Hunters. Although the arrow stuck inside you was practically a small scratch in comparison to the metal rebar he intimately came to know.

“Starin’ won’t get this arrow outta me, Joel.” You huffed, taking things into your own hands as you pull off one of your gloves, “here —.” you stuffed it between your teeth and gripped onto the arrow tightly before pulling it out. Your muffled cries of pain had thankfully been mostly silenced by the glove.

“Jesus christ, what in the hell are you doin’?” Joel kneeled down by your side.

“Fast trackin’ the healing process — not… so great… of an idea…” You mumbled out breathlessly, your shaky hands completely covered in blood. Your bright idea of taking things into your own hands backfiring, as you grew progressively light-headed.

Now Joel was slightly panicked and annoyed that your recklessness and impatience always seemed to get in the way of his own brooding and thoughtfulness. “Do you even think before you do things? I ain’t here to babysit you goddammit.” He grumbled, wiping away at the wound so he could inspect it.

You airily laughed, feeling tired and exhausted, “babysit? I’m the only person who’ll deal with your bullshit on patrols, cowboy.” Your limbs started to feel incredibly light and numb as your words became more slurred.

You weren’t wrong in that aspect, but what you weren’t aware of was the fact that you were most often paired with Joel on patrols because the man had asked for it, not because of the excuse Tommy told you; ‘everyone has a hard time with him except for you’.

His nimble hands made quick work at the suture needle and stitching, you only wincing when the needle pierces through your broken skin. He was careful and calculated while he patched you up, grateful that you had been quiet for just a few moments as he paid your back the same amount of care for the front.

By the time he had finished, you had long drifted off in a sleep. He was regimented in making sure you were breathing consistently and every fifteen minutes or so, he would wake you up to ensure you weren’t going to die on him.

After two hours of nothing out of the ordinary coming from your peaceful state, he let you rest peacefully undisturbed.

———————————————

When you woke up, you weren’t too sure what to expect. Pain was one thing you anticipated… And the pain didn’t disappoint. Perhaps it was because you woke up in a completely different position and place within the lookout than when you fell asleep. No longer by the fire downstairs, but in the makeshift bedroom loft beside a smaller fire.

The headache that thumped through your head was arguably the most painful feeling that was occurring in your body. But that didn’t stop you from slowly rising up, a hand instinctively placed over the wound as it twitched in pain. Sounds of distant guitar chords echoed through the open area, you hadn’t even taken notice that Joel brought his guitar when you two left Jackson earlier in the morning.

Not that you were really paying him much attention earlier in the morning, freely exploring your own mind and memories. Something Joel envied in you was your ability to be so free spirited, despite the apocalyptic fuck fest that was everyday life. He initially chalked you up to being naive and foolish, but the time he’s taken to get to know you had informed him otherwise.

You hesitantly remove the mound of blankets on you and start your attempt to get up. It was a struggle to say the least, your thumping headache and aching wound made it quite the difficult feat to pull off.

All effort aside, you finally carried yourself slowly down the stairs, nursing your wound and instantly missing the warmth that the fire at your bedside provided. By the dimly lit interior it was well and truly deep into the night, which made you wonder how long you’d been asleep for.

Judging by the stillness of the atmosphere, that also meant your earlier encounter with hunters didn’t attract unwanted attention to the lookout.

Joel was seated by the fire in an amicable state, he was seemingly unaware of the fact you’d woken up or even noticed you had seated yourself on the armchair closest to the fire. His eyes shifted toward the movement, surprised to see you had made your way down the stairs without so much as a voice of complaint.

“You sure you weren’t a country singer before this? I’m getting some Billy Ray vibes… Bitta Keith Urban too..” You smile at him, admiring the way the firelight bounced off his features, the scene before you looking like some cozy cottage fantasy.

He put his guitar aside, if he was amused by your joke — you didn’t see it.

You tilted your head to the side, trying to gauge his mood based off the evident shift that occurred between you falling asleep to now. He appeared to be annoyed (not surprising) and closed off more than usual, which meant that he was most definitely not in the mood to be talking.

But you didn’t care, because you had just woken up and felt like enlightening Joel’s darkened front with some excitement at least. “What’s got you in such a delightful mood, country boy?” You shifted your weight off the wound, alleviating the slight pain that kept pinching every so often.

It became apparent that you weren’t going to leave him some peace unless he relented and indulged your attempts to getting him to talk. If he was stuck with anyone else in this situation he’d be visibly more perturbed, it was either dumb luck or fate that the two of you happened to be paired while this already shitty situation got worse.

“Storm came over while you were sleepin’... Get cozy ‘cause we’ll be here for a while.” He gestured lazily to one of the windows, which upon further inspection was completely shadowed from the snow fall, not because it was incredibly late.

You groaned, following up with a sigh, “fuck I’m bored just thinkin’ about bein’ stuck here… Wish I brought a book.” The throwaway statement managed to crack the hard exterior of Joel, earning the slightest chuckle which in turn boosted your ego. Getting that man to express emotions beyond anger or annoyance was something to be met with like a lifelong skill, high risk and low reward.

He reached over to his bag, “might not like it, but if it’ll keep you quiet for a while… here —,” he pulled out an old leather bound book, the spine had been cracked and the pages barely held together due to decades of weathering. You met his outstretched arm halfway to grab a hold of the book, the weight of it unexpected but you caught it nonetheless.

“Lovecraft? I meet a lot of people, but you are by far the strangest man I’ve met.” You mumble out loud while you appreciate the cover and embellishments decorating the edges. You hadn’t intended for him to hear you, but of course he did.

“Figured Ellie might ‘preciate it…” He trailed off, stopping himself from saying a word too many in fear that he gave away too much of an inside peek at his inner thoughts. Upon hearing him you looked up, surprised that he even mentioned his surrogate daughter — considering your observations of the two had been particularly volatile as of late.

You thumb the raised lettering of the title and look at him, his eyes were sad which contrasted his stature. You weren’t one to pry, despite being impressively curious by nature, “kid’s got a gnarly taste in pop culture… I was out on a run and saw one of them comics she likes… y’know she has those hoarded all over Jackson, yeah?”

His eyes flickered over to you, he was trying to get a read on you and sense any plausible reason why you’d bring up Ellie. He knew you weren’t one for ulterior motives but he didn’t like discussing a whole lot about the young girl with many people, no matter how much he enjoyed your company.

“What are you doin’?” He pressed, turning his body to face you front on with his hands clasped together between his knees.

Your eyebrows knit together in thought, unsure what prompted such a serious question and change in demeanour, “Uh… making conversation?” It seemed like an obvious statement, you refrained from being too direct just in case it provoked him further.

“Right…” He merely uttered, standing up from his position on the couch and moving toward the bar. You looked at him with confusion, unsure where the outburst came from and why it even happened in the first place. It wasn’t the first time you’d brought up Ellie in conversation but now it seemed like it was a soft spot for him.

“Okay… I’ll bite — um… what the fuck?” You strained your neck to face him, not wanting to move your entire body to prevent unnecessary pain, “did something happen between you two bec—“

“Y/N… Don’t.” His voice was low, almost like a guttural growl to fend you off from pressing further.

You threw your arms in the air and shook your head, “jesus fuck, Joel you’re a real asshole sometimes… You’re so broody and temperamental I feel like I'm walking on eggshells just to talk to you… Y’know not every person is out to get you.” The words hung in the air for a moment while you started to move yourself off the chair, wanting to have your own space by the upstairs fire.

Watching you struggle to get up from the armchair admittedly did break the tension Joel brought into the room, he sighed loudly to set aside his pride as he slowly shifted toward you, “don’t move… Let me change your dressings over.”

His voice barely made it to your ears, but hearing them made you loudly groan and sit back down, “jesus fuckin’ christ — I cannot deal with you right now,” you mumbled to yourself. Despite Joel being notorious for his outbursts, they rarely featured up front and centre like tonight; particularly around you.

But when they did, it was exhausting to deal with to say the least. Given that almost every time they occurred, you never knew the exact reason why. Things would be much easier for the both of you, if one participant was just that little more vocal.

“Just give me the shit and I’ll do it myself, take your bullshit energy and fuck off over there.” You pointed to the bar where he previously stood, very blunt in telling Joel how much you didn’t want to fight with him knowing you both were snowed in together for who knows how long.

Being as direct and as blunt as you were had been one of the many things Joel came to admire about you, feeling a tangible sense of guilt for blowing up at you like he did. He knelt down beside you, motioning for you to shimmy forward into the light of the fire better.

You huffed in response, not making eye contact with him as you pushed yourself closer to the edge of the chair.

He was careful and delicate once again, inspecting your wound after discarding the used gauze. You found it exceptionally difficult not to look down and watch what he was doing, mainly because you were inquisitive by nature but you couldn’t help but be fond of his closeness.

One of his fingers grazed the carefully done stitches, prompting a wince from you, the action almost snapping you out of your angry facade, “you definitely weren’t a fuckin’ surgeon in your past life, huh.” You call back to the conversation you had earlier, an attempt to help ease the tension between you two.

“And you weren’t no comedian, either…” he bit back, attaching the dressings on the exit wound.

“So you go from grumpy to jokey just like that?” You raise a brow, fully aware you were rattling the cage at this point, but him even cracking a retort of the sarcastic variety was enough of an indicator that he was trying to make reparations.

He taps your thigh and motions for you to turn so he can start on the entry wound, “I ain’t too good at this whole… People... business,” he admitted, stating it like it wasn’t already overtly obvious to any conscious person with a functioning brain.

“Oh what? You’re joking, right? You are such a people person,” you mock, turning your head down to give him a playful smirk.

His eyes met yours, a glint of something you weren’t entirely sure of just yet. Returning his gaze back to changing over the final dressings on your back, “that was uncalled for,” he murmured, pretending not to notice the smile present on your lips.

The simple fact that he admitted to you outloud seemed to be a step in the right direction and for that, you were incredibly grateful.

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here for?” You ask, feeling Joel's fingers lift from your skin as he finishes patching you up. Missing the sensation it made you feel. You turned back to face him properly, not expecting him to still be seated so close to you, not that you minded at all.

“Hopin’ that we’ll be out by tomorrow… Worst case scenario, we’ll be here for a few days.”

You throw your head back over dramatically, “be stuck inside here with your grumpy old ass — what fuckin’ atrocities did I commit to deserve this?” You jest, smiling even wider seeing the light amusement evident in his eyes, “ah! I’m so close to getting you to laugh, one of these days I’ll get you, cowboy.”

“Definitely weren’t a comedian…” He reiterated, a content smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

The thought of a comeback was completely lost on your part as you simply admired his features up close. From when you first met to now, his hair had grown out longer which you thought looked nice on him, even if it would hang over his face just that little bit.

His hazel eyes were your favourite feature of his, and in the orange glow from the fire they seemed all the more alluring.

It was a happy silence, one filled with just the two of you trying to read each other and guess what the other was going to do. For someone so direct, you were quite talented in not telegraphing intended movements or motions. It made you a hard person to pinpoint which both intrigued and infuriating someone like Joel who was quite adept in reading people.

You were the first one to break away from the stillness, taking the book you were given to pass the time, “as much as I’d love to stare into your dreamy eyes all day, I’ve gotta book to read and a whole lotta time to kill… Thanks for being a shitty nurse… did better than what I could, anyway.”

Joel stood up, giving you ample space to shift. He holds out a hand for you to help yourself up, which you take thankfully. Your throwaway compliment didn’t go unnoticed by him, nor did the way your eyes scanned his features moments ago. He lived through life long enough to know what look you were giving him.

It was a look he’d often see you give him, whether it was subconsciously or not— that, he was unsure of. He was always apprehensive when he saw your eyes darken the way they did, but it was his own inability to allow himself to get close to anyone that caused his uneasiness.

You looked at the man standing before you, his face crinkled in thought as if his mind was elsewhere. You felt a compulsion to ask what he was thinking but weren’t too sure how far that conversation would get before it got messy… Despite his change and attitude, the man was notorious for switching in an instant and you knew better than to prod him too much.

Then again… your favourite pastime was exclusively getting under the man's skin.

“What’re you thinkin’ ‘bout there cowboy? Thinkin’ mighty hard about somethin’.” Being much taller than you were, you ducked to meet his thoughtful gaze. His internal struggle barely showing in his face, only being tossed aside the second his eyes found yours.

“You.”

That had taken you aback, your eyes growing wide as a slight tinge of red dusts your cheeks. Naturally, unable to process compliments or situations like these, you turn to jestful remarks as a way to assess the mood, “should I be concerned? If it’s about who's gonna eat who when starvation starts settin’ in, I would ‘preciate it if you didn’t carve me up.”

“Can you stop talkin’ for just five seconds,” his voice was low and eyes scanning your features.

Intrinsically, you keep talking to fill the void of silence as you aren’t completely sure how else to alleviate the tension, “well… I can consider but —.”

You hadn’t got very far in your smug retort, cut off by the man's abrupt and unexpected decision to shut you up by pressing his lips to yours. It seemingly came out of left field and only took you just a moment to reciprocate, pushing all astonishment aside.

For someone who sported a rough exterior, you were pleasantly surprised at how gentle Joel was, caressing your face with his calloused hands so delicately. You discard the book that was once in your grasp, trading it for his firm chest while you gripped onto his shirt.

Pulling away, you bite down on your lower lip as you look deeply into his eyes. You considered uttering a witty remark, but the look he was giving you was one of warning. And as much as you would love to find out what would happen as a consequence of speaking out, you were content in continuing whatever had already started.

Your hands trail up to the back of his neck, leaning up to press your lips back onto his. This time with a little more desperation, you swipe your tongue on his lower lip, prompting a short but low growl from your companion. One of his hands was pinned to your *good* side, the other remained on the side of your face.

The feeling that pooled in your stomach, matching the hammering of your heart would almost make you concerned if you weren’t in the safe grasp on the man you’d shamelessly pined after.

Despite the hunger and desperation on your part, Joel was still pleased at going at his own pace; which was painstakingly slow. Savouring the moment you two were sharing, as if you were going to disappear in an instant.

“Gotta say — didn’t peg you as the romantic type,” you whispered breathlessly, eyes never straying from his darkened hazel ones, your hands stroking his firm torso, “but we’re gonna have to speed things up.” You brush your lips against his, hovering daringly close while your hands eagerly undo the buttons to his flannel.

He didn’t seem at all bothered by your impatience (it was typical of you after all), but it was bothering him how much of a tease you were being. Far be it for you to not be a pain in his ass even in an intimate manner. Your soft hands kneading his bare chest — which was ripped, you noted to yourself mentally as he shrugged his flannel off.

Your fingers trace the outlines of numerous scars present, regardless of his age and living in a dangerous time for humanity. The healed wounds did little to impact his figure, instead sprinkling slight imperfections across him as if it were to keep him humble.

Joel dips his head to your jawline, trailing small wet kisses down your neck and nipping at some skin to earn the slightest little noises from you. Oh how that made you feel. You squirm in his hold, squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to provide some friction to appease the wetness between your legs.

There was little to no hesitation as he pulls your shirt up over your head, surprised at your bare torso. Sure, you both had seen better days but the scars from knives, bullets and arrows were telling of the journey you’d gone through to get to this point; including your most recent addition.

The warmth his hands provided while they trailed over scars and rise of your breasts left your skin tingling. You notice his eyes wandering over your features, knowing he wasn’t judging your looks merely pondering over what story was behind which scar. You’re confident in that sentiment, considering you felt the same way whilst you thumb the scarring on his collarbone.

“You good?” You whisper, your breath hitching as the pad of his thumb grazes your pert nipple. This man…

“Just takin’ in the view.” His voice was low, prompting a smile from you. The man was a hopeless romantic at heart, that was clear enough — any other time you’d gladly lap it up happily, but right now you needed something a little less idealistic. Desire possessing you further (it seemed like you’d have plenty of time together anyway.)

You press your lips back onto his feverishly, trailing your hands down his torso to his jeans. The bulge in his pants growing more in response to your hand giving him a sensual squeeze, he moans into your mouth which is enough of an indicator for you to start undoing his belt.

His hands cupped your breasts progressively harder, taking in your nipples between his thumb and finger. The sensation pulsing downward enough to make your toes curl and thighs clench. You could’ve fucked him there and then, pleasure pooling inside you.

“Sit down,” You ordered, pushing his chest toward the couch to which he obliged, enjoying the fact you were so eagerly prepared to take charge. As a man of tradition, he’d typically lead but found it incredibly arousing to heed your demands and listen. You’re quick in kicking off your shoes and discarding your jeans, welcoming the chill to the air as it cools down your burning skin.

The sight of him on the couch, shirtless and showcasing the tent pitched in his pants was so remarkably inviting you couldn’t wait a second longer, straddling his hips and bringing your lips back onto his as you begin grinding down on his bulge. The friction alone was enough to bring moans of pleasure from both of you, you tugging at his hair harder the more aroused you became.

He pulls away, running his hands up and down your sides - vigilant in not wanting to knock your wound - before bringing his lips to the valley of your breasts, ensuring to leave short kisses on every indent or raised section of scarred skin before settling down on one of your nipples. The free hand that wasn’t anchored at your hips, was kneading your other breast.

A whimper tumbles from your lips, grinding your hips harder against his. You bring a hand down, frantically trying to undo his pants all the while feeling the euphoria coming from just merely grinding him. Yes it had been a while since you felt this good.

He lifts his hips up, giving you enough space to yank down both his jeans and underwear. The feeling of his cock flush up against the thin material of your panties caused you to gasp and grip onto his shoulders tightly.

Both of you moaning at the absolute bare minimum of stimulation of your most sensitive areas. His cock throbbed the second the tip rubbed up against the dampness of your panties, it being far too long since he partaken in anything sexually charged in quite some time. The same goes for you.

Now it was Joel’s turn to get impatient, bringing one hand up behind your neck while the other dipped down into your panties, his fingers stroking your wet slit. You jolt forward at the feeling of his fingers circle your clit, the sensation pooling desperately as your hips buck, riding his fingers.

His calloused fingers seemed to hit the right spot with every roll of your hips, it made you wonder how his lips would feel and tongue would feel if he seemed to be making you feel this good with his fingers alone.

“Fucking hell, Joel.” You cry out, resting your head on the crook of his neck, leaving small love bites along his collar bone. His scent of eucalyptus mixed with wood was ever so welcoming, the aroma that drove you insane whenever he stood a little too close.

Your high began to climb, grinding your hips more desperately against him while he expertly finger fucks you until hitting the right spot, sending your body rigid as your walls close in and around his fingers, pulsating while you ride your climax out.

“Eager, are we?” His breath tingled your ear, even though you weren’t looking at him you could tell he was fashioning some smug smirk. You laugh breathlessly, sitting upright and sliding off your panties.

One of your hands closes over his length, pumping painstakingly slow, all the while watching his eyes roll to the back of his head. Your soft hand wrapped around him felt leagues better than the familiar roughness of his own. His hips bucked to help quicken the pace you had set, to which you smirked and pinned him flush against the couch.

You kept on pumping his throbbing length, positioning yourself more comfortably on his lap. He leaned his head back, lips parted to let the soft grunts pass through while you continued to torment him slowly. If his fingers felt that great, you were eager to find out how well his cock felt.

You position his tip at your entrance, not wanting to torture the man or yourself any longer, sinking down onto his cock while his length stretches you out. Whimpering in sync with his growls, neither of you moving momentarily as you simply bask in the pleasure.

He thrusts his hips up first, a strangled moan escaping your lips as you meet his pace. Your lips brush gently up his neck, stopping just shy of his ear lobe. The faint mewls rolling out of your mouth sending him further into bliss with each roll of the hips, ignoring the painful irritation emitting from your wound.

His hands were anchored firmly to your thighs, fingers digging hard into your skin which would no doubt leave bruises in the morning. You nip at his ear and neck before returning your lips to his, muffled moans stifling out from the both of you with each sloppy kiss.

The sounds coming from you were near on pronographic, coupled with the quickening pace of you riding him, every insatiable thrust filling you more with a desire you weren’t aware you needed until now.

You dreamed of similar scenarios such as this with Joel, but the meager fantasies had nothing on the real thing. How his lips felt on yours, the way his hands caressed every part of you with care yet also commanded it, the way he made you dripping wet without much effort and most of all; the way he felt deep inside you.

He threw his head back, choked breaths preventing him from rasping out the words needed as his climax began rising. You noticed his staggered breathing and picked up the pace, gripping his hair tightly coaxing a guttural moan out from him.

One of his hands squeezed the back of your neck while the other clasped your breast roughly, his hips became rigid while a series of moans filled your ear just as you feel his cum spilling inside you. He slumped back into a comfortable position panting heavily, eying you in your incredibly typical perky demeanour.

You pulled yourself off him, his semi-flaccid member flopping out of you. Thankful past you had the forethought to pack rags, you rifle through your bag to clean yourself up, “you’ve got a surprising amount of stamina, cowboy,” the compliment earned you a smug smile from him, pride being an aura on Joel you never thought you’d see.

“If I’d have known this is all it took to shut you up, I would’ve done it sooner.” He states, as if thinking retroactively would change your ability to annoy the absolute life out of the man.

Tossing him a rag lazily, you chortle at the idea of thinking Joel - of all people - could be someone to get you to stop your antics forever, “Oh you knew — don’t lie to me mister. You just like to see me suffer in silence.” You were as transparent as one could be, yet your intentions were almost always misread as you did well to keep it muddled. Joel was a perceptive man, often finding you hard to read to the point of irritation for him, but - as you anticipated - he figured you out slowly but surely.

“I just like to see you silent,” he retorted, finally moving from his position to clean himself off, “but you ain’t wrong…” A man of his age knew a thing or two about what your not-so-subtle looks meant (even if it took him longer than usual to realise what you were actually wanting) and knowing you for the time he did also meant the possibility of things going south between you two went higher. He respected you too much to commit to something that might eventually be taken away from him in an instance — or vice versa.

“I’m never wrong, actually…” You confidently state, eying him with the same smug smile he sported only moments ago. The arrogant stature you held broken with a grimace as you clutch your injured side, “maybe a little bit wrong… probably shoulda let you lead there…”

He merely shook his head, allowing a chuckle to audibly sound which always felt you with a sense of satisfaction. The man shrouded in mystery was finally opening up to you more, that alone was a privilege you couldn’t be more proud of.

[jean-kayak]

Finally

Summary: A heated argument makes him accidentally confess his feelings

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x black!gn!reader

Warnings: a HUGE amount of angst, but don’t worry there’s a happy ending, brief mentions of alcohol consumption, one (1) bad chem joke, and a lot of tears

Word Count: 2,629

A/N: Um, you could say this is to make up for the Gojou angst I wrote earlier lolol, and I wanted to write for Kuroo cause I hadn’t written a fic for him yet and this is what came out of it

Tags: @her-majesty-kiara​, @iwascrybaby​​

​​Kuroo groans when he hears his doorbell ring, wondering who's bothering him during his one-person movie night, and he haphazardly gets off the couch, pausing the movie before he walks to the door.

The annoyed, apathetic look on his face is quickly wiped off when he sees you standing on his porch, eyes red. He sighs, wordlessly stepping to the side to let you in, softly closing the door as he follows you back into the living room.

He sits back in his spot with a heavy sigh, and you follow, but you don't sit right next to him, which is normal behavior whenever you come to him like this. He throws an arm over the couch as you sniffle, your eyes on your lap. "So, what was it this time?"

He hates how he has to add that every time you show up at his door. He's lost count, and he hates that too. You wipe at your eye before you shrug. "He broke it off," is all you say, your voice not loud but not quiet either.

And he hates how it seems like you've just come to terms with this situation. Every time there's a new boyfriend, there's a new issue. Sometimes he wants to grab you by your shoulders and shake you, hoping that it'll make you see that it doesn't have to be this way for you.

Kuroo sighs again. "I'm sorry," he responds. "You wanna go get something to eat?"

You scoff as you shake your head, finally looking at him. "Go ahead and say it," you suddenly speak up, and it makes Kuroo frown at you.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at your sudden outburst and change in demeanor.

"I can hear it in your voice, Kuroo. Just go ahead and say it." The anger in your voice, makes him sit up.

"What are you going about? I--"

"Just say I told you so and get it over with." He falls silent for a few seconds. He guesses after the same event happening over and over again, he got worse at hiding his true feelings. "You sound like that every single time. God, it's so annoying."

Now it's his turn to scoff. "I'm sorry? I've been telling you for a while now that they weren't good enough for you," he argues, your words rubbing him in the completely wrong way.

"And how are you supposed to know that? You've never liked any guy that I've dated, and it's like you just wait for me to get my heart broken just so you can rub it in my face that you were right."

"That sounds like a you problem, y/n. You think I'd do that to hurt you? You think I'd lie to you?" His voice is starting to rise, and he's never liked doing that, but you're pissing him off. How you let yourself get treated is pissing him off.

"God, you are such an asshole," you spit before you're standing, and he's quick to follow, grabbing your wrist.

"I'm the asshole? Oh, that's fucking rich." You snatch your wrist out of his grip before turning to face him.

"What is it, Kuroo?" you start, your voice now matching his. "Why is it that every single guy isn't good enough for me? Are you sure you're not trying to tell me that it's the other way around?"

He clenches his jaw. He has to choose his next words carefully before this hellhole of an argument really blows over. But he doesn't know what to say, and his silence spurs you on.

"If you thought I was that bad of a person to be dating then why would you let me go out with them anyway?" He feels the anger bubbling violently in his chest, the cap on the lid about to bust. "You just wanted me to think lowly of myself?"

"Because I FUCKING LOVE YOU, and I know that I could treat you better than any of those guys combined!" he screams, his voice booming through the house, making you flinch violently.

And he's trying to calm himself down, realizing what he said. The fucking cat that he's been trying to keep in the bag just leaped out with flying colors. He looks at you, your face completely different than it was before his accidental confession.

The silence is literally making his ears ring as he looks down at the floor. "Get out." He stops you when he knows you're about to say something.

"Kuroo--"

"Get the fuck out." He doesn't look up. He can't. But he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to lose you, but he just did. He couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut and now he's paying the price.

"Fine," he hears you say, the words bitter. And he hears your footsteps moving towards the door, and the door opening.

And he jumps when he hears it slam.

He lays in his bed for days. The pillows and sheets are stained with tears, his head pounding from the consistent crying. The more he replays the scene in his head, the harder he cries.

He could barely reach for his phone without crying because usually, the first thing he does when he reaches for his phone is think of you. He gets stupid drunk, but that only makes him cry worse, his headache making his head feel like it's being split open.

He wants to smash everything that has any memories of you tainted on it, but every time he goes to shatter a picture frame, he can't let it go.

How could you ever think about yourself that way? About him? The last thing he ever wanted you to think was that he thought you weren't good enough. But his annoyance was winning out.

He was tired of you boasting about a new guy you were potentially about to go on a date with. How you would tell him about all the dates you went on. And then you would come to him, crying because they broke your heart.

He was tired of being the guy that helps you fix your broken heart instead of being the one that got to hold it.

And he ruined it all. He had just been fucking content with being your friend then none of this would be happening. He wouldnt've lost the person he loved the most.

He wanted to call you his so bad. He wanted you to be the first thing to wake up to and the last thing to see before he went to sleep. He wanted to kiss you under the mistletoe like in those stupid cliche Christmas movies.

He wanted to dance with you in the kitchen, no music playing, just the two of you, relishing in each other's touch. He wanted to get down on one knee and tell you everything that he loved about you. That he had been in love with you from the moment he met you. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, but having the privilege of calling you his.

You were so close to him. Yet so, so far away.

But he put up with it. He watched you in a happy relationship, hoping it would get him to get over you. But it failed. No matter what he did, what he tried. It hurt to see you in a relationship, and it hurt to see you crying due to the relationship crumbling.

He calls Kenma, barely able to retell the story because of how bad his voice is breaking, the tears falling all over again as his body heaves with sobs. But he's never seen Kenma come over to his house so fast.

Kenma stays for nearly the whole day, Kuroo spending nearly two and half of the hours convincing Kenma that it was completely fine for him to go home.

He felt empty. Like his body had been hollowed out. He cleaned up his house, the gloomy feeling settling over him only lifting slightly, but he was proud of himself for making progress. Slowly but surely.

He pretty sure things are starting to go back to "normal." The word having a different meaning now that you're no longer here.

He's scrolling through his phone deciding on whether he should cook or get take out when the noise against his door makes his whole body freeze. He tells himself that he was imagining it, that it was nothing, but he can't stop himself from walking into the living room to make sure he told himself right.

He nearly drops his phone when he hears the familiar knock. The only one that you use. He finds himself conflicted, not knowing whether to run to the door and throw it open and hugging you or running to his room and not coming out until your gone.

You knock again, and he feels like his legs are going to give out as he slowly walks towards it. He stands in front of it, not making a move to unlock it, but picturing you standing on the other side.

"Open the door, Kuroo," you say, your voice muffled, but he can hear it clear as day, and he hasn't heard your voice in so long that it makes him realize how much his heart still aches, and it almost makes him open the door.

He knows that once his eyes land on you, he'll cry. He knows it.

"Please." And he feels himself crack. Might as well get this over with and finally move on.

His hands are shaking like crazy as he slowly unlocks the door, pausing for a moment before he turns the knob. He's not looking at you when he fully opens the door, opting to look at the floor. He's not ready, he doesn't think he'll ever be.

The tension is so thick he feels like he can't breathe. Or that could be because he's trying to keep himself calm. He brings himself to look at you, and he never thought in a million years that he would struggle with looking at you. Not when he's been doing it for so long.

He feels the tears forming before he even gets to your face. He sighs heavily when he finally meets your eyes, yours looking just as puffy and swollen as his were.

He doesn't know what to say or feel. He wants to say so much, but he can't. He doesn't want a repeat of last time.

"You can't love me."

He feels his barely mended heart fall apart again. He scoffs painfully as he wipes the tears that start falling, turning back around to walk into the house, and he has the urge to stop you when he hears you walk in behind him, closing the door.

"You can't love me," he slows to a stop when he hears your voice break. "Because." Your voice is wavering, and you stop again, letting out a quick sob. "Because I love you."

Kuroo feels his whole world shift as he feels more tears flood into his eyes. He pushes away that small moment of hope, huffing as he wipes his face. "y/n--"

"That's not how this works," you cut him off, but he doesn't turn around. "I'm the one that always falls and never gets caught."

Your lips are quivering so bad that the words are barely coming out. Kuroo slowly turns around, seeing that you have tears streaming down your face. He's looking for the lie, waiting for the part when he wakes up.

You take a careful step forward, and Kuroo doesn't have it in him to stop you. "It's--"

"I'll catch you." There's pain etched on both of your faces, but your eyes widen slightly in shock. "God, y/n, I will always catch you. I--"

He steps closer to you, and he reaches out to touch you, but he stops himself, not sure if it's the right move. "I can't believe you thought I would ever think that way about you."

"I know, and I'm so fucking sorry. I was upset, and I took it out on you. I didn't mean any of it," you explain, your sentence wavering off towards the end. "I was just--nothing ever worked out for me, and I thought that you would never feel the same, so I--"

You can't help it this time, not even biting your lip can muffle your cries, and Kuroo's pulling you into his chest, and you nearly cry as hard as you did on that awful day, and Kuroo holds you like you'll slip away from him at any moment as more tears fall down his face.

Your hands are holding on tight to his shirt that he feels it might rip, but he doesn't care. The only thing that he cares about is that he finally has you back in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he breathes, resting his face in your hair, and you lift your head up.

"You shouldn't be apologizing. I--"

"I said things that I shouldn't have said too," he says, cupping your face in his hands, rubbing over some of the dried tear tracks staining your brown skin. "I swear I didn't mean it."

You sniffle loudly as you bring your hands up to wipe the tears off of his face. "I love you, Tetsurou." The sound of his name sounds amazing coming from you, and he feels his heart swell as he smiles widely, feeling tears brimming his eyes again.

"And I love you." He does. With every single thing in his body. You huff softly as his finger rubs over your cheek. "Can I kiss you?"

You nod quickly, and he chuckles softly on the outside, but on the inside, he's bouncing off the walls. He doesn't delay any longer, moving in to connect his lips with yours. He feels a shock shoot up his spine, further fueling his love for you.

This is what he imagined. What he's been dreaming of, and it's happening. And he's not in the middle of a dream, even though that's what it feels like. His arms wrap around your waist as he deepens the kiss, pulling you closer to him, not even wanting an inch of space between the both of you.

He hopes that everything confession he's thought about making is being transferred through, wanting you to understand that he loves you to the next universe and back. He reluctantly pulls away, both of your lungs screaming for air, and he leans his head to rest against your forehead.

"Marry me," he breathes, and you huff softly as you look at him.

"Now?"

He nods eagerly. "Yes."

"Are you serious?" you ask, chuckling in disbelief as you move a hand to play with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

"As serious as inhaling hydrochloric acid," he jokes quickly, smiling when you laugh. "I'll do all of the formal stuff later. Just please say yes."

You laugh a little louder this time, and he can't help the pang of his heart at the sight, the sounding even more beautiful than music. "Yes, Tetsurou, I'll marry you."

If he thought he was already happy about his feelings being reciprocated, he was definitely through the roof happy now. He plants his lips back on yours, pulling you into an even deeper kiss, and he sighs in content.

He brings you into a hug, huffing in disbelief that you're actually standing here, that you want to marry him. And that your arms feel like home. Like paradise.

He doesn't even care how long it took.

All that matters is that he can finally call you his.

[morethanalittleconfused]

I accidentally wrote a 5k fanfic about incidents caused aboard the ghost by differences between species

I've been reading a lot of those old tumblr posts that are like “what if humans are actually just really, really hardy and alien species would be just completely blown away with the shit we put up with without a second thought” and it's got me thinking about the crew of the Ghost trying to get used to each other at first with three humans that are all just absolutely fucking insane, even more so than even your average human.

Rebels spoilers ahead, as well as a trigger warning for blood, vomit and general injuries

It starts with Hera and Kanan. It’s just the two of them, aboard the Ghost, and it takes some getting used to.

At first Hera is shocked by the way Kanan's body seemingly has no limits. He has never once complained about the temperature of the ghost, even when they were running low on power and Hera could feel her limbs start to get sluggish from the cold. Two weeks later he somehow managed to find his way back to the ghost after being in -2 degree Celsius weather for a half an hour with no coat on. When he walked back through the hatch with snow blowing in his loose hair and a red nose and said “it's cold as shit out there” after Hera had been panicking about losing him for the literal entire time, she had to practically scrape her jaw off of the floor. She would have been dead after a few minutes, and yet here he was, now steaming from a shower and shirtless, bitching about how the caf maker was broken.

As time went on, she learned his body did have some limits to the heat. At about 35 degrees he got irritable and short, but that was about when she started getting uncomfortably warm, too. But he would tolerate it. And more. He kept impressing her with the things he somehow managed to pull off, in conditions she would have thought would kill him. He could get knocked around far more than she thought he should be able to, and would haul himself back to the ship with a grin every time.

The way his body worked constantly surprised her. She noticed it first in how quickly he healed, and in how much he ate.

He could eat literally anything. Things she thought were poisonous for most species. He loved chocolate, and would easily eat ten times the amount that would send her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. He could withstand a ridiculous amount of alcohol, and could drink unprocessed coffee with no problem by the cup. Caf didn't seem to really affect him because his body processed it so fast. And he ate so. Much. it was ridiculous. The good thing was it didn't really seem to matter what.

Hera didn't need much food, but it had to be good. It had to count. Too much filler and she would lose strength. Her body couldn't process a lot, and if what she got wasn't exactly what she needed, her health went downhill, quick.

Kanan was not the same. He could, and would, eat anything. He didn't have any noticeable preference for plants or meat, or the quality of the food. If he could get his hands on it, he would eat it. He would eat food out of the refrigerator she would have considered to be dangerous. He put appalling amounts of random, unrelated food in a pan, cooked it, and acted like that was an acceptable thing to do. Omelets? She hated the very idea but he seemed to think they were wonderful.

And yet, for all that, they had once been stranded for over a week with only enough rations for one, and Kanan had insisted that she take the vast majority of the ration bars. She pushed back, and he then presented her with the absolutely shocking fact that humans can survive for over a month with no food. She was absolutely flabbergasted, and he took advantage of her stunned silence to press another ration into her hand, smirk at her and say, “I can take it. Trust me.”

Another thing she noticed very quickly was how fast he healed.

He could be bleeding openly one minute, and the wound seemed to close itself the next. She knew human blood had clotting factors far beyond that of nearly any other being, but it was ridiculous how fast he sealed himself up. Further into their relationship she got to see this close up when she accidentally touched some of his congealed blood on the floor of the refresher after cleaning him up. She had had to turn away and take a few deep breaths at the slimy, gelatinous texture. He had gently huffed out a laugh.

“Kinda gross huh?”

“Yeah... it's… unique.”

“I've always been kind of fascinated by the way it congeals so quickly. Handy I guess.”

Out of sheer curiosity she had run the end of a pen through the small puddle and been horrified to see that it mostly stuck together.

“It just… does that? Inside you? And that doesn't cause problems?”

“It can. If it clots when it's not supposed to. But mostly it keeps me alive.”

And it did. And though she wouldn't say it to his face, his ability to pull through seemingly anything took just one more worry off her plate. His wounds would be almost completely closed in often under a week, where she would have been dealing with bandages and salves for a month. He almost never got infections, and could keep going with seemingly incapacitating injuries.

They had once narrowly escaped a fight with a gang of imps and made it back to the ghost with almost no problems. She had a sprained ankle, so he had supported her most of the way there, and they had patched up each other's scrapes. He had needed a bit of training so he didn't just slap a bandaid on what could have been a potentially life threatening injury for her, but he did alright. It was only later, when they were sitting in the cockpit, well into hyperspace, and he had coughed suddenly, when things went sideways. She turned to see blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth, and more on his hand when he pulled it away. They both looked at it for a moment, then Hera almost blacked out as a sudden wave of adrenaline washed over her.

“Kanan you're- are you- let me make the calc- are you dying?”

“What? Oh- no I had thought I just cracked a few of my ribs but it would appear I must have broken at least one of them.”

“BROKEN? Your bone? Like in half?”

“I- yeah?”

“Chopper we need to get to the nearest med center right now. Tell them were coming. I dont care if its a fucking imperial light cruiser”

“Wait no lets not be hasty-”

“HASTY? YOU BROKE YOUR BONES KANAN”

“Okay i know it looks bad but really i'm not going to keel over and die right now. Make sure it's a safe med center and cheap too. I can wait.”

“Kanan your bones are literally broken.”

“Yeah. It's happened before and it will happen again. I've broken my arm twice. I've broken one of the bones in my lower leg. A couple toes. At least one finger. And don't even get me started on my nose. It didn't always look like this.” At that he had huffed out a small laugh, but then winced and brought a hand to his lower chest. Almost as an afterthought, he reached down and pulled up the hem of his shirt. She had started to avert her eyes at the sliver of hip he showed, but as he pulled the shirt up higher and revealed more, she felt the breath taken out of her. His skin was mottled a whole host of awful colors, angry and puffy. He coughed that wet cough again and said, “Maybe I do need a med center after all”

She was incredibly relieved when they dropped out of hyperspace and into the welcoming arms of medicine. She was less happy when Kanan was returned to her, that night no less, with only bandages around his chest and a note to “take it easy for a while” she was appalled to say the least.

His ridiculously resilient body sometimes created just as many problems as it solved, though. He got into bar fights after downing enough alcohol to kill a bantha, and got the piss kicked out of him. He ran headfirst into danger with little consideration for life or limb. He was reckless, and incredibly hotheaded, and overall behaved like a clown. She had no idea how the Jedi accepted humans into their ranks, if Jedi he was. Restraint, my ass.

His recklessness applied to food as well. He didn't really seem to mind what he ate, content with the knowledge that if it didn’t work out, he could always regurgitate it back up. Twi’leks could not vomit, like many other species. It was yet another bizarre human trait. The ability to purge substances from your body without them having to pass through your entire digestive tract and cause more issues had always seemed like a neat trick to Hera. That is, of course, until she saw it in action.

She was roused one night by a strange noise coming from the refresher, and she had padded to the door, only to find it open. Blinking in the harsh light, she saw Kanan curled on the floor, wearing no shirt. His hair was loose and hanging around his face, and he was panting heavily. She only had time to say “Kanan, what-” before he coughed and vomited into the bowl.

Her immediate reaction ricocheted from “Oh my god he's dying” to “I’m actually going to die just having to witness this” to “Oh stars he is actually dying” so fast she could barely process it. She was immediately horrified but had no idea how to help him.

“Kanan are you- do you need a medic? How- chop- CHOPPER! How do I help you? Are you hurt?”

He had turned and peered up at her with puffy eyes and a runny nose. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He tried to talk but his voice came out too rough and he had to try again. Even then it was strangely thick.

“Hera? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay? Am I okay Kanan? You're in here dying for stars sake and I have no idea how to help you and where the hell is chopper-”

“Hey. hey.” He turned away for a moment and took a long breath in through his nose. “Calm down for a sec. I feel like shit so you're going to have to talk slower. Are you hurt or something?”

“Hurt? No I'm not hurt i’m just- you- you're in here- I don’t even know-”

He closed his eyes and took another long breath in through his nose.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah i’m just… trying really hard not to throw up again.”

“Oh.”

He opened his eyes again and looked up at her again.

She shifted against the door frame. “But you're… okay? This isn't life threatening?”

He huffed out a soft laugh, then seemed to immediately regret it as he dropped his head between his knees for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and tipped his head back up.

“No. I'm good, I just ate something bad at that pub. And I also probably drank a bit too much as well. But I think it was definitely the squids fault.”

“Oh. So this is… normal?”

“More so than I would like. Yes.”

“Okay so…” she took a deep breath to calm her nerves now that it was apparent he wasn't in any imminent danger. “Do you need anything? How can I help you?”

“Some tea maybe. Some crackers. Anything ginger you have. It'll work itself out with time.”

She stood in the door, unsure of what to do, wanting to help him, and watched as he drew a quick breath in and closed his eyes again.

“Hera. Tea. Now”

“Right.”

As she dashed to the kitchen she heard the sounds of retching from behind her.

  There were some strange things about humans that became interesting as their relationship developed beyond mere captain and crew. His hair, for example. At first she had thought it was appalling, the sheer volume of it. It was everywhere. But all it took was threading her hands through it a few times, and hearing the wonderful noises he made, before she quickly changed her opinion.

Related to his hair was the fact that humans seemed to enjoy a certain level of pain, which she could not understand. He would moan audibly when she tugged at his hair, which startled her the first time, in the best way. Once, when she was feeling particularly adventurous, she had dragged her sharp canines across the delicate skin of his throat, and had been surprised to find the taste of metal filling her mouth, sharp and bright. She was even more surprised at the way he had shuddered and come apart beneath her, just like that.  

Then, later, when Zeb and Sabine joined the crew, there was yet another learning curve as Hera adjusted to another human as well as a Lasat, and Zeb adjusted to Kanan and Sabine at the same time.

Sabine was just as reckless. She was a fighter too, but she didn't have the force to help her out. Hera had more than a few small heart attacks in the early days of Sabine's presence before she fully appreciated that she could take almost as much of a beating as Kanan. Sabine had once walked over a half a mile back to the ship with a broken leg, and when Hera pressed her on just how she managed to do that, Sabine had gotten quickly tired of the argument, ending it with a, “I don't know what to tell you, Hera! I didn't have any other options! I had to do it, so I did.”

Hera was used to most of Kanan's strange human quirks, but Sabine presented a new and entirely alarming one, which Hera first came in contact with on a supply run. Sabine needed a monthly supply of medical supplies. Hera knew very little about menstruation, as that was a trait entirely unique to human females. Why their biology decided that it was necessary was completely beyond Hera, it seemed incredibly inefficient. Sabine made as little fuss about it as possible, but Hera had embarrassed everyone about three months in when Sabine asked hera to go get her data pad from her room. Hera had burst back into the common room, and only then was able to identify the smell Sabine was carrying with her that had been tugging at the edges of Hera’s mind all day. Blood. She turned on Sabine with a very distressed, “Sabine are you injured? Are you sick?”

To which Sabine had responded, with a distinct note of confusion, “No? Why?”

And Hera, without thinking, had said, “There's blood all over your bed? Did you hurt yourself?”

Sabine had gaped at her for a moment, then blushed ever so slightly. “I uh- I forgot to wash my sheets after... Sorry. I forgot about that before I told you to go into my room.”

Hera still had not connected the dots and was opening her mouth to further interrogate Sabine as to why her bedsheets were covered in blood when Kanan had jumped up and said, “Hera! Let's go for a walk, yes?” and pulled her gently out of the room, but not before she heard Zeb turn to Sabine and say, “So, why were you bleeding?”

Zeb apparently hadn't had much contact with the more alarming of the humans' quirks, as he had his own room, until Ezra showed up. Then Zeb had to learn for himself just how absolutely wild human biology was for himself. He arguably had a rougher go of it, because while he had the rest of the crew to help him out, he was literally sharing a room with a teenage human.

The first time Ezra got food poisoning was just about as rough for Zeb as it was for Kanan and Hera, except it happened in Zebs room.  Ezra was mostly self-sufficient, but Zeb had come hollering down the hall. He had broken the “do not open my door without knocking” rule Hera kept firmly in place, but she couldn't even be mad at him. Hera was just glad Kanan had been in his own bed that night. She had woken to see Zeb standing in her door, his fur standing up like a spine down his back, one ear folded inside out, panting hard.

“Hera the kid- he’s- I don’t know what the fuck happened but he- I think he’s hurt- or- or something but I don’t know how to help him- it’s Ezra-”

At which point Kanan, who had been woken by Zebs racket, slid open his door wearing only his sleep pants. He took one moment to assess the situation, looked down the hall and said, “Oh, Ezra’s throwing up. Do you want me to take care of him, Hera?”

Hera sighed and got up from her bed.

“No, you get Zeb some tea or something. I've learned well enough how to hold hair back at this point.”

Zeb, still looking entirely horrified by the situation, allowed himself to be led into the galley by Kanan. Sabine poked her head out of her door, decided this crisis did not involve her, and went back to sleep.

The same situation had happened the first time Ezra had gotten a bloody nose in the middle of the night. It was the kind Hera had witnessed with Kanan, and knew firsthand how horrifying it was if one didn't know humans noses just Did That sometimes. It was a middle of the night kind of bloody nose, where Ezra had presumably woken up with blood all over his face and in his mouth and in his hair and on his sheets, and had tried to catch the blood in his hands, which was all well and good until he somehow had to get down from the top bunk and open two doors to get to the refresher. That left Zeb to wake up to a room smelling of blood, with blood on the floor, on the door panel, and a trail leading to the refresher where he found Ezra leaning over the sink which was also, conveniently, covered in blood. All it had taken was for Ezra to turn his face toward the creature standing in the door and say “Zeb?” before Zeb was hurtling down the hall in a panic, calling for Kanan to come help him because the kid was dying.

Sabine, who had been up working on a project, was the first to respond to this particular “The human is dying!” call. She took one look at Ezra, standing in his pajamas with blood on his hands and said, “That sucks,” and turned back to her room.

Hera, who was making her way down the hall to check on if Ezra really was dying this time, had the pleasure of seeing Sabine turn back and say, “If you want a tampon to stop up the bleeding, they're in the bottom left drawer.” This worked surprisingly well at stopping Ezras bloody nose, because he was blushing so hard there was no blood left for his nose. Hera turned back to comfort Zeb, telling him she had reacted the exact same way the first time Kanan had woken up with a bloody nose. She saw him come out of his panic in time to realize she had effectively confessed to sleeping with Kanan, but wisely decided not to say anything. Nothing he didn't already know.

The humans were absolutely bizarre to spend time around. They ended up installing a wall in the galley that had live plants in it, not because they needed fresh plants to eat, but because their brain chemicals got thrown off if they weren't around plants for too long.

They had empathy for everything. Hera had once witnessed Ezra cry in a market when they passed a fruit stand with a deformed Meiloorun. When Hera asked why he was crying, he had looked up at her with these huge eyes, sniffed, and said, “I just feel so bad for it! No one will buy it!” They had, of course, bought it. Kanan tried not to get attached to anything, but he apologized for bumping into inanimate objects, and Sabine got visibly sad when they had to throw out a good piece of gear because it was broken or old.

They all three loved swimming. They were awful at it, just barely flopping around on the surface, but any time they were near even relatively safe water, they were in it, having the time of their lives. Kanan had once explained to Hera that humans have an extra fun little bit of evolution called the mammalian dive reflex, which slows their heart rate and lowers their blood pressure when they are in water, making it calming and enjoyable. Hera was skeptical until she watched Ezra calmly floating down a river on his back and wished she had that, instead of feeling nothing but panic anytime she had to float in water.  

They were mimics. They could replicate a stunning array of sounds, from animals to tech. Ezra's favorite way of annoying her was to make the noises her ship made when something went wrong, just to see how much she would panic before she realized it was him. They would sing along to anything, even if it was just instruments, and Hera would never admit it, but she loved Kanan's voice.

They could sleep anywhere. One of her favorite memories was walking around Chopper Base after a particularly exhausting mission and finding the three of them, Kanan in the middle, with one kid leaning on either shoulder, asleep, leaning against a crate. They had looked so peaceful, and yet she was again surprised at them. It was far too cold for her to even consider sleeping, there were fighters landing only a few hundred meters away, people running all over, and they were snoozing with smiles on their faces, just glad to be home.

And humans would pack bond with literally anything. She had thought Kanan was bad until she met Ezra. It was ridiculous. Her father had said that she was improper for developing a fondness for a droid, but the kid formed a relationship with everything that moved. It got them out of a few tight spots, sure, but she would never get used to having to sit still as some enormous predator loomed in their faces. The sight of Ezra staring down a cat the size of the ghost on some jungle planet, the cat's fangs mere inches from his face as it huffed at him, was something she would never forget.

They were wild and hard headed and strong and made her life so much more interesting.

Early on, Kanan’s strange human ability to adapt to seemingly anything had been a momentary point of contention between the two of them, and was still something she struggled with. It took time for her to be okay with the fact that humans and Twi’leks were just built differently. But it frustrated Hera how weak she felt compared to him. It infuriated her the way he could just walk off something that would have killed her. She had always striven to be adaptable and up for anything. She was strong, and she knew it. But she felt her inadequacies sharply next to Kanan. Early in their partnership they had been in the galley repairing themselves from yet another fight, when Hera had turned to see Kanan casually sewing his own skin up with a needle. The way he could just puncture his own skin like that, with nothing more than a wince and a hiss of breath, had made her see red for a moment and she had to excuse herself to the cockpit to take a breath. They had talked about it, and he had helped her to realize that she was, of course, strong. Humans were adapted differently, so it was entirely unfair for her to be comparing them. But they could compare emotionally, and she was one of the strongest people he had ever had the pleasure of knowing. The two of them were forged in war, and had been through incredible things. She had fought prejudice and overcome so many obstacles to get to where she was, the best pilot in the resistance, without question. As he had said the last part, she heard him smirk a bit, and looked over at him, bathed in the blue light of hyperspace, to find him with a little crooked grin on his face and his hair falling down around his ears. She had felt her guarded heart open a little bit more at that, and had to turn and gaze back out at the stars before her heart opened completely to this rogue of a man.

Later, pressed against his chest in a supply closet, hiding from some stormtroopers, she would marvel at just how fast humans' hearts beat. She knew they were supposed to beat about two times faster than a twi’lek, but his seemed like it was fit to fly out of his ribcage. She found herself thinking, “Is it supposed to be doing that? Is this why he's such a hot headed idiot?” Later she would discover it did not always beat that incredibly fast, usually just a bit faster than hers. It made him ridiculously warm, and also may have contributed to why he was so quick to anything. Not rushed. Not hasty. Just quick. Quick to anger. Quick to smile. Quick to fight. Quick to laugh. Quick to love.

Maybe that was why it was such a shock when he finally reached his limit. She had gotten used to him pulling through impossible situations. She had forgotten that they had limits, just like her.

And then, years later, a glimmer of hope. Ahsoka and Sabine, travelling the galaxy over, searching for Ezra. While Kanan was gone forever, she still had a chance to get one of her boys back.

And of course, there was always Jacen. Her beautiful little boy, who was soft and sweet and yet surprisingly strong, just like his father. And Hera was comforted to know that wherever this wild galaxy would take him, he had Kanan Jarrus’ blood coursing through his veins to keep him safe.

[cityofimagines]

My Angel – JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: your relationship with JJ is still relatively new, but that doesn’t stop you from showing just how much your care about him after his has an episode with his dad.

A/N: this popped into my brain randomly because im in love with fluffy jj, and jj in general. i literally just wanna give him the biggest hug in the world 🥺 this is also my first real obx imagine so lmk what you guys think!! 

warnings: mentions of abuse

word count: 1841

It was currently a perfect day in the Outer Banks. 86 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, on your way to meet your friends on the dock. You finally found a time when everyone was off work simultaneously for the first time this week. John B’s boat was practically rotting from not being used in five days.

You fast walked down the hill to get to the meeting spot. As you got closer, you noticed most of the pogues plus Sarah Cameron, the newest addition to the group thanks to John B, all chatting.

“Hey guys!” You exclaimed as you neared them at the end of the dock.

“Hey (y/n)!” Kie smiled and ran up to give you a short hug.

“What’s up (y/n)?” John B asked, giving you a nod.

You shook your head. “Not much. Just excited to finally see you guys!” Which earned smiles from the rest of the group. Everyone was clad in swimsuits, t shirts, and flip flops, signaling that they were more than ready to get this day going. But before you could, you noticed something major was off. “Where’s JJ?” You asked looking around for your boyfriend.

“We were gonna ask you the same question.” Pope said.

“That’s so weird. We texted earlier and he was obviously down to come...I assumed he’d be the first one here.” You continued.

“Who knows maybe he’s just running a little late. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.” Kie smiled and put a hand to your arm. “We can wait a few more minutes.”

You had been friends with all of the pogues for about two years now, pretty much since the week you moved here. However, you and JJ had only been dating for less than a month, so this relationship was still fairly new. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was having doubts about you or your relationship. After that thought passed you wondered if something bad happened to him. JJ is known for having not the cleanest record, much to your dismay, so you couldn’t help but think he was in trouble. As more time passed, the more negative overthinking you did.

You checked your phone for any sign of him, but the only notifications present were from Apple telling you to update your software for the millionth time. The rest of the group had descended into a random conversation, but finally after 10 minutes of waiting for him you decided to speak up.

“Hey guys? I think I might go look for him…” You trailed off, looking in the other direction towards the rest of the island.

“It is pretty weird...JJ isn’t one to miss out on days like these.” John B added. “You want us to come with you?”

You smiled at his offer, but declined. “No it’s fine honestly. You guys go have fun. Don’t let me ruin your day.”

“You could never.” Kie said. “You’re sure?”

You nodded. “I promise it’s okay. I’m just scared something happened. I’m gonna go look for him and maybe we’ll meet up with you guys later if we can.”

Since your relationship with JJ was still so new, you were still learning how to manage spending time with him alone and spending time with the rest of your friends. You felt bad for leaving them because you hadn’t hung out all week, but something was pulling you towards JJ in that moment.

“Sounds good.” Kie finished. “Good luck and hopefully we’ll see you later!”

“Thanks guys.” You smiled one last time before turning to walk back towards where you came from. Your car was parked in a lot close by, so it didn’t take long for you to get in there and gather your thoughts. Where could JJ be? He couldn’t be at work, because he’s been working with Pope and his dad lately, so obviously if Pope was at the dock JJ would be too. The only other place he could be would be...his house?

The second that thought dawned on you, your face sank. His house.

JJ opened up about his home life to you pretty quickly into your relationship. You had known each other for so long before that he felt like he could trust you explicitly. He told you all about how his mom left when he was young, and how his dad is a disgusting physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. This revelation led to a few tears and more than a few sleepovers at your house.

You backed out of the lot and sped down the streets as fast as you possibly could without it being able to technically count as speeding. Your heart was now pounding at the thought that something bad must have happened today involving his dad.

After a too fast car ride you came up on his street. You parked across the street in front of his house, not even daring to go near the driveway because who knows what his dad would do. You weren’t even completely sure his dad knew you existed.

You felt crazy walking around to the back door dressed in a bikini with nothing but an oversized t-shirt covering you, a messy bun sitting on top of your head, sunglasses behind your ears, and cheap flip flops.

Once you got up to the door, your hand hovered in front of it in a knocking position. Suddenly you were terrified. What if JJ wasn’t even here? What if you were just being a stupid worried clingy girlfriend? What if his dad answered? What would you even do in that situation?

A crazy thought came over you and you decided to forego knocking and reach out for the doorknob instead. You turned it quietly and the door clicked open. You closed it behind you and took a look inside at the house you had only seen a couple times before. Beer bottles lined every open surface. Clothes and dishes were strewn everywhere, medicine bottles sat on the kitchen counters. You bit your lip to keep from tearing up at the sight. The fact that this was the only place the boy who had your heart had to call home broke you.

You walked into the living room and jumped a mile when you saw an adult figure on the couch. Luke Maybank, luckily asleep. Still no sign of JJ.

You walked deeper in the house, down the hall to where you knew JJ’s room was. The door was cracked slightly, and you held your ear up to it. Your heart broke even more when the sound of crying filled your ears. You opened the door and it creaked, causing your boyfriend’s head to snap up in your direction.

“JJ…” You began.

“(Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here-” He said, cutting you off.

No words came out of your mouth for a minute as you took in the sight. He was hunched over sitting on his bed, clutching his side. His shaggy blonde hair looked more oily than normal most likely due to his hands running through it excessively. He had a black eye and a split lip, with random patches of dried blood around his mouth. You had heard about his dad’s horrible parenting, but nothing could have prepared you from seeing its effects in real life for the first time.

Finally you came to your senses. “I was looking for you.” You started. “We were all waiting for you on the dock and when you didn’t show up I just had a feeling something was wrong…God JJ why the fuck didn’t you call me? I would’ve come as soon as I cou-”

“Shh baby. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He said. “C’mere.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you took all of three steps towards him. He wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you in. Your head rested on his.

“It’s not okay!” You cried out, his hair muffling your voice. He shushed you and started rubbing your back.

“I’m fine sweetheart. You shouldn’t even be here anyways-”

“Will you shut up?” You said, the question coming out harsher than you meant. You quickly pulled away and looked down at him. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I’m just fucking frustrated that you have to go through this. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

JJ reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise I’m fine. Go back out with everyone. I’ll catch up later.” He said.

“No.” You shook your head. “We’re going to my house. I’m fixing you up.”

“(y/n)...”

“Either you come with me or I’ll help you here.” You gave him an ultimatum.

He sighed and his head fell forwards on your stomach. He was still sitting on his bed and you stood in between his legs. You grabbed his hand in yours. “Please baby. Let me take care of you.”

“Okay. Your house it is.” You helped him up and walked him out to your car. You even helped him into the passenger seat, much to his dismay. Seeing him like this had you seething inside, you couldn’t help but want to love on him with everything you had.

A short drive to your house later, you walked inside and told him to sit down on the couch. Your parents were both at work and you assumed your older sister was with her own friends. You ran to the bathroom to get bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and an ice pack for his eye.

You sat down with everything and began tending to his cuts. You felt like crying again, but reminded yourself to be strong for him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked after a few moments of silence.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an asshole.”

“I wish I could do something more to stop it.”

“You do enough. I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly.

“Stop it. If anything I don’t deserve you.” You replied. You took the ice pack off his face for a minute to look into his eyes fully. “You’re the best part of my life JJ Maybank. When you’re hurting so am I.”

He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “My angel.”

You wrapped your arms around his torso delicately so as to not hurt him. You weren’t sure if words could adequately describe what you were feeling regarding JJ, so you just sat in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you after a few moments. 

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hate making you upset.”

“Not your fault.” You whispered into his shirt. “I would do anything for you. You know that.” 

He pushed your head up to his and planted a passionate kiss to your lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead to yours. You ran a gentle hand up and down his side, feeling him get chills as you traced the muscles that hid underneath his soft skin.

“You wanna sleep?” You asked.

“Honestly...yeah.” He said quietly.

You patted his legs twice signaling for him to stand up. You switched positions so you were sitting behind him.

Once he got comfortable in your lap, you started running your hands through his hair and on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed.

“I got you sunshine. You’re safe with me.”

[missinghan]

young & beautiful ⤖ lee felix

❖ genre : zombie apocalypse!au; punk! au

❖ word count : 13,1k.

❖ warning : explicit language, mentions of alcohol & violence 

❖ summary : you’ve always thought your soulmate was an idiot to not be there sooner but eventually, everything connects when it started with Lee Felix holding your best friend at gunpoint. 

one.

Jisung puffs his cheeks out and stares at his own reflection on the glass table. The bartender quickly comes back, pushing a tequila sunrise towards his direction. The boy takes an awful amount of time to study how the yellow, almost orange liquid bleeds into a deep red effortlessly. 

He shakes his bang away furiously, calling out for the bartender. “Uhm, I just ordered a Coke. Not this.” 

“Have a drink kid, it’s on me.”

He pushes the glass away. “No thanks.” 

“What kind of adult doesn’t drink alcohol in desperate times?” 

“Then what kind of bartender doesn’t run for his life when ravenous freaks are lurking the streets?”

The bartender tips his head back and laughs wholeheartedly. “Listen, kid. It’s either beating the shit out of someone or getting wasted to keep the little amount of sanity left on your mind. So I’m staying here for them alcoholics. Business is running low, not taking any risks.” He wipes his hand onto his white apron, throwing him a playful wink. “Call me if you need anything.” 

Jisung beams innocently. “Do you have a pencil? And paper too?”

“Jisung you can’t be serious, where are you?”

Minutes later, he’s starting to regret the questionable-looking sketch of a squirrel on the piece of paper that the bartender gave him. Instead, he presses the tip of the pencil harder onto the surface until it snaps in half, leaving the sharp wooden edges sticking out. He can kill the bartender with this if he decides to spike his drink, Jisung figures. He hesitantly brings the rim of the glass to his lips and takes the smallest sip possible. The burning sensation goes down his throat in matters of seconds. His entire windpipe feels like it’s on fire. 

“Hey, I need some water..” He chokes out as someone enters the bar. 

The bartender averts his gaze onto the new customer. “Cool, what about you?”

The unfamiliar figure sits beside him, murmuring. “I’m not here for the drinks, but him.” 

The bartender looks confused. “A water it is then?”

Jisung’s head starts spinning slightly, dizziness bubbling up inside his chest. He hiccups with the pencil held between his fingers. Something’s wrong with this man. He needs to get out of here, now. “Sorry, I don’t feel too well. I think I’ll get back to—“ Just when he slips himself off the stool, two other men appear out of nowhere and block his way as the first one firmly holds him in place by his shoulders. Jisung immediately turns to the bartender, signaling him to run with his eyes. And the bartender does as he insists. 

One of the thugs growls gruffly, making Jisung drop the black duffle bag in his hand. “You’re gonna have to pay for what you did, boy.”

“Hi, I’m Jisung. Sup guys?” 

“Did you just say ‘Hi, I’m Jisung’?”

Jisung grimaces as you hiss into the earpiece, the sound screeching against his eardrums. In which, it doesn't really help to cool the situation down. He drops onto his knees when a guy kicks him in the shin, face scrunching up in pain. One of the guys surrounded him hides behind a face mask, whipping out a dagger concealed in his sleeve. With a cheerful voice, “There’s nothing to be all grabby and stabby about.” Jisung gulps. He’d be lying if he said that he’s not about to piss his pants. 

“Uhm, do you like the color red?” 

The one who’s holding him down snaps, pulling his collar backward. “Shut it, twig.” He elbows him at the back of his head, earning a low, painful grunt. 

Jisung asks, as light as a feather, he’s trying too hard to form a proper sentence at this point. “What about coding? Do you like coding? You guys look pretty smart, you must be into coding.”

“Jisung, the hell-- CODE RED, JEONGIN, CODE RED! JISUNG’S IN TROUBLE!” 

He sighs in relief when you finally understand, limbs growing wobbly. 

“Han, get the hell out of there! I swear--”

Your words get cut off when a goon peels the earpiece away harshly, examining the device with an amused smirk. “Look at this toy, it might be pretty expensive.” Then, he looks at his gang member and cocks a brow. “Why don’t we just take him with us? He’ll lead us right back to their hiding spot.” His team quickly nod their heads in agreement, staring down at the blond-haired boy with mischievous eyes. 

With his head dangled low, Jisung’s limbs are giving in but the grip on the pencil never once loosens. “Okay..” He slowly looks up and shoots them a look, chuckling darkly. “This is gonna be fun.” In a split second, the sharp end of the pencil goes straight into the goon’s stomach, making him stagger backward and groan aloud in agony. Although Jisung’s frame is quite small compared to what a standard fighter needs to be, he never fails to take advantage of that. If he’s smaller, he’s gonna be faster than them. 

He sweeps a leg across the ground, one of the men falls onto his head, easily slipping into a good sleep until the zombies come in and take care of his unconscious body. Jisung catches the earpiece when it falls out of the goon’s hand. “Thanks, I’m gonna need my toy back.” Before he can slip the device on again, an arm sweeps under his feet and he lands right onto his bottom. “Using fire against fire. Smartass.” He mutters and clumsily props himself up from facepalming himself onto a pool of fresh blood that’s slowly seeping through the tiled floor. 

The only conscious goon smirks down at him. “I don’t like coding. But I do like the color red.” When Jisung flutters his eyes upwards, he’s met with a shiny metal blade, inevitable to drive down, straight into his chest, right through his heart. He automatically squeezes his eyes shut as an attempt to brace himself for the contact. 

“Hey asshole,” His eyes shoot open at the more than familiar voice. 

two.

You’re so screwed. You’re all fucking screwed. 

You’re not screwed because you completely forgot that you have four finals in a row next week. You’re not screwed because you broke your mom’s favorite mug or accidentally had a scratch on your dad’s car. Heck, you wish they could beat you with a wooden spoon right now. If only they’re still alive. You’d have your parents put you in timeout and fail four subjects all at once just so that everything can be normal again. 

In movies, particularly ‘Zombieland’ or ‘The Walking Dead’, humans are being controlled by a virus that turns you into a walking corpse that feeds off humans’ flesh. But, we naturally do have plenty of brain disorders that can do just that. However, none of those things were contagious in the first place. Until Mad Cow Disease came along. Who would have thought? Cows are simply being part of the food chain then an entire square block, forty bedrooms, and nineteen bathrooms; everyone in your neighborhood went apeshit after the steak they had for dinner. 

It’s a miracle how you even managed to run away without being bit by your own parents, who are now brainless serial killers. The idea of eating someone’s organs doesn’t seem too far-fetched anymore when you know that you’re only one brain chemical away from turning to a psychotic cannibal. That’s not even the irony of the whole situation. Irony, is how ready your current generation is for the end of the world, but not exams. 

Hence, you’re gonna throw a birthday party for one of your best friends like nothing’s ever happened. Except for the fact that you’ll have to lure him out of the sanctuary while the others are working on the surprise. 

Now you’re sitting in an abandoned bar, attempting to cheer your friend up with a shot of whiskey. You’ve never really liked the idea of being inside a bar before. Drowning yourself in alcohol and letting the night snatch your consciousness away as you sway your body along with bad EDM, going deaf with laughter and music banging against your eardrums? Not ideal. But now, it’s all empty. The neon lights are hanging by a single cable, wallpapers chipping off with discolorations soaking through the wall. The once infamous bar where students used to get wasted every weekend is now dead. Both literally and metaphorically. You’re not complaining anyway. 

“Hey Jeongin,” you speak up lowly. “Have you ever hit a girl before?” You run your tongue over the cut right on your bottom lip, tasting the coppery blood in boredom. 

Jeongin stares blankly at the glass of whiskey that you just offered him, studying the yellowish component closely. “No? Why would I?” He looks up and almost freezes to death with the look that you’re throwing his way. He can’t tell whether you’re mad or not because you’re that type of person who doesn’t necessarily need to go all furious or mad to scare the shit out of someone. 

“No? Oh, don’t mind me,” you shake your head, low chuckles vibrating through your chest capacity. “I was just gonna ask you how it feels. You know, to kick someone in the gut or punch them in the face when you know they’re clearly not your size.” You sigh and prop your head onto your hand, eyes slightly heavy from the alcohol kick. It’s been a while since you’ve messed with these things. “Right, sorry. Not my point. My point is: stop being a big baby and get out there, talk it out with Jisung you little shit!”

The boy in front of you quickly looks away when you stare him dead in the eye. He swallows heavily, picking at the ripped part of his jeans. “I’m not gonna talk it out with him. That was stupid, irresponsible and reckless. He could have just let it be and not have his jaw broken. He was supposed to sneak in, get out, and act like nothing’s ever happened. Instead, he got caught at a bar, waved at them and even said ‘Hi, I’m Jisung’. He didn’t even get anything but got you in danger! Look at you! Minho would kill us if he saw you with a thousand arrow wounds like this!” He throws his hands upwards and cries out. “I swear to God, I’d never sign up to save his ass, ever, again. I swear—“

You clear your throat, wordlessly dropping a black duffel bag onto the counter with a loud thud. Jeongin’s mouth forms an ‘o’ as his hands automatically unzip the bag, revealing an awful amount of weapons: shotguns, rifles, knives, crowbars, etc. Heck, even some food. God, Jeongin can’t even remember the last time he’s had a proper meal. He subconsciously runs his hand along the matte-finished surface of a firearm, a retort lingering on the tip of his tongue. “Wow,” he utters. “He really— he got them.” 

“He did.” You cock a brow, leaning forward and zip the bag up again. “And tell you what, even if you’re not gonna be there when Jisung makes a bad decision again, I will. Because you know damn well that there’s nothing in this world that he wouldn’t hesitate to do as long as your little junkie ass is safe.”

“HEY, WE CAN TALK THIS OUT, CHILL—“

“I said hands up! DROP THE GUN!”

“Chan, DON’T DO IT!”

You and Jeongin quickly collect yourselves, scrambling out of the bar. When the door swings wide open, you’re met with Jisung on his knees, hands behind his head, his Benelli M4 abandoned by a water bottle near the entrance. Meanwhile, there are two other guys who seem like they’re talking amongst themselves as they hold your best friend at gunpoint. Your fingers hover over the pistol in your back pocket, mentally debating if you should engage or not. 

The more you’re lost into your own thoughts, the more you find yourself staring at the pink-haired boys standing beside the brunette one, who’s having a handgun, pointing right at Jisung. The freckled boy has you drawn into him like instant gravity because suddenly, it feels like the world stops spinning when he looks up and accidentally meets your eyes. That’s when you take a closer look at his features. Perfect dark eyebrows, bright beady eyes, and prominent Cupid’s bow. His freckles are what throw you off, making it possible to look away because they’re like embers of disintegrated supernovas, scattered across the universe for eternities. 

“Everyone calm down!” You snap out of it and break eye contact. As much as you’d love to stare at the freckled cutie all day, you’re gonna cut him in his sleep if he dares to put a finger on Jisung. “Lay off my friend. Now.” You declare and receive attention from the brunette as he tells you off with his eyes. 

The guy who you assume is called, Chan jerks his head towards Jisung. “Tell your friend that it’d be nice if he could give it back.” 

“Give what back?” You turn to Jisung. “Han, we’ve talked about this. We don’t steal from anyone, besides street gangs.” You tell him firmly, motioning for him to hand over whatever the fuck of a thing that those two strangers need because him getting killed for something as childish as a slice of cheesecake is gonna drive you nuts. 

Jisung opens up his left palm and shows you a silver wedding band, smiling awkwardly as you hold yourself back from decking him in the face. “Look, I was just looking around and I found this thing, and I got curious then they just came back and deadass threatened me with their guns!” He adds in. “I don’t know what’s the big deal with this ring anyway. Looks like someone bought it on eBay.” 

“Say that again, I dare you.” Chan tightens his grip on the gun and clicks in a bullet. As soon as you hear the bullet being locked in to the chamber, your hand automatically flies to your back pocket and pulls out your pistol. You directly aim at his head, finger trembling over the trigger when you switch off the safety catch. “Give-it-back,” Chan says through gritted teeth. 

“Jisung..” You warn him. 

Jisung protests. “Like hell I would.”

“I never miss, just throwing that out there,” Chan says indifferently

“I SAID PUT THE GUN DOWN.”

“ENOUGH!” Jeongin snaps, catching all of you off guard. “We are surrounded by mindless cannibals over here! We all went through it, we all were there when our family turned into those monsters, we all had those times where we had no place to go, no food to eat, no friends to be there for us. Don’t we have enough problems? For fuck’s sake look at us! Is pointing guns and yelling at each other gonna bring the good days back? So would you guys just stop it? We’re a bunch idiots trying to kill each other when the end is fucking near! Can’t we just be friends and play some dumbass games like ‘20 Questions’ like decent human beings while we’re driving them back to the safehouse ?” 

You stare at him in awe for a moment there, your muscles relaxing and giving up on the gun. Jeongin gives Chan a Look, chest heaving up and down in pure furiosity. Sometimes the idea of surviving does mess with your mind, forgetting that people are still people. They’re just like you. They’ve gone through some pretty bad shits too. 

Chan retrieves his weapon, sighing. “Sorry, we really mean no harm. It’s just that we need it back.” He scratches his neck sheepishly as two dimples are fully on display. He’s not so scary when he smiles after all. 

 “I’m gonna have to confiscate that for the time being.” You snatch the piece of jewelry from Jisung’s hand. “We’ll talk about this when you guys are back at our base.” 

“But—“

“Chan, let her. It’s fine.” The freckled boy interrupts him. 

You look at him and subconsciously smile. “Oh? I’m sorry, does this belong to you? Aren’t you scared that I’m gonna throw this pretty little thing away later?” 

He replies with mild interest. “I don’t think you’d wanna do that, you could have just kept it to yourself.” 

“No, Charming. It’s not my style.” You voice as you stare down at the ring, studying every little detail carefully. The silver band is exquisite with a sterling double knot, adding a unique touch to the elegant simplicity of the ring. You think you’re already falling in love, but are you really gonna tell him that? Most definitely not. “Yep, not my style. And I’ll throw it away someday, that’s for threatening my friend.” 

He makes a face and takes a few steps towards you. “I have a name.”

“Don’t care. ‘Charming’ suits you pretty well.” 

“It’s Felix. You’re welcome.” He grins, offering you a hand. You decide to take it, kind of taken aback when knowing that his hand is a lot smaller compared to the average guys’. “And I wouldn’t worry about that, you won’t be going home with it anyway. ‘Cause I’ll always find you, always.” He squeezes your hand a little bit too tight for your liking, making you flinch. 

Little did you know, behind his back, Felix’s counting down from one two three with his fingers, Chan watching him closely with his gun ready. 

Three. 

Two. 

One.

Jisung quickly notices and reaches out to you. “Y/N!” And one single shotgun rings through the area. 

three.

On the outskirts of the once stellar city, lies a warehouse in a not so stellar neighborhood. Dead leaves are falling onto the ground, scraping against the concrete surface, and sending chills down people’s spine. It’s like they’re not even trying to grow properly even when it’s not halfway through spring yet. The eerie atmosphere is just another reason for people to not wander around for too long, as if they’d have the gut to come there in the first place. But it’s still a zombie apocalypse, there are worse things that could happen either way. 

You’d be surprised at what people can do when they’re dangling off the fingertips of Death. 

People would never guess what’s hidden behind the crooked door. A living room fully equipped with an outdated couch and broken TV, a kitchen with everything but a fridge. Further into the safe house is a bedroom big enough for ten people to fit in, a storage room full of firearms and weapons. Last but not least, security cameras and monitors are set up all around the base, to be more secure. No zombies in this household. It took you and the guys forever to collect enough materials. The only thing that you’re constantly running low on is food. 

And turns out Jisung calling your name wasn't the last thing you’d heard. 

“Ugh, Minho, get me water,” You groan loudly before wagging your hand around like a madwoman. Once you feel the cool metal surface on the nightstand, you quickly check your own reflection. Needless to say, you’re horrified at what you saw. Absolutely terrifying, yes. Hair falling onto your face, tiny scratches scattered across your cheekbones as they leave an itchy sensation of your skin. Fortunately, the cut on your lips is already cleaned, and your bruises are starting to fade. But what sucks is the constant banging effect on your temple, an imminent pain that’s threatening to swallow you whole. 

Yeah, this is why you never drink. 

“Minho, water..” Your whimper grows smaller and smaller towards the end as your hand gives up on holding onto your phone. “Is this what whiskey does to the human body?” You smack your lips together as the bitter taste seeps through your taste buds more deeply, choking on the alcohol smell in your own throat. 

Minho takes long strides into the bedroom with a bowl of piping hot soup. “Whiskey contains almost no sugar, can reduce blood clots, decreases your chances of getting a heart attack, even a stroke, fights cancerous cells and..” He pauses before wiggling his eyebrows. “Helps you perform better in bed.” He chuckles when you bury your face under your blanket, cheeks tinted pink. He will never not get you with his less than appropriate comments. 

“You’re gross.” 

Minho smirks. “Low blow.” He cranes his neck tiredly, lips curling upwards into a small smile. “You’re quite lucky. Whoever was trying to kill you missed.” 

Your brows automatically knit together as you try to gather the small pieces of memories your brain can muster. Everything that happened yesterday seems too cloudy for you to comprehend, but you could never forget the moment Chan’s bullet missed you by a strand of hair, piercing straight into the plexiglass window right behind you to catch you off guard. Next thing you know, Felix kicked the back of your knees, having you land on buckling ankles. 

You tell Minho sternly. “If he wanted me dead, I wouldn’t have come back in one piece.” You hold in a breath, in disbelief of your own words. “He spared my life, believe it or not.” Chan let you go, but why would he? You did piss him and his friend off intentionally because you never know what you’re getting yourself into. 

Minho figures you might have hit your head somewhere, so he places your food on the nightstand and scoffs. “Eat up, you’re talking a shit ton for someone who almost died.”

“Where’s Han?” You gladly receive the bowl of soup with two hands, mouth watering slightly since you haven’t eaten since yesterday. 

As if on cue, you can hear Jisung shrieking from downstairs. “NO NO NO! DON’T SHOOT ME WITH MY OWN GUN!” 

You and Minho exchange a look before rushing outside, dashing towards the living room. “Oh, you gotta be shitting me.” The commotion inside has your jaw dropped to the floor. Again, Jisung is held at gunpoint for the fourth time of the week, you’re quite surprised that his head hasn’t been blown into bits yet. With the gun pressed against his temple, beside him is the freckled boy from yesterday. Felix, if you’re not mistaken. Chan’s here too, neither of them is looking too happy. If Hyunjin was here seeing two strangers try to threaten his best friend, he’d definitely go apeshit. 

“Woah woah, what’s the problem here?” Your brother, Woojin comes out from the kitchen with wide eyes and two glasses of water in his hands. “Lix, put the gun down.” He tells the younger boy firmly, but Felix doesn’t even move an inch.  

He cocks his head towards Jisung, a scowl adorning his soft features. “It wouldn’t have to be like this if your friend here didn’t steal my ring. Twice.” 

“Jisung, seriously?” You facepalm yourself. You can still vividly remember how Felix snatched the piece of jewelry away from your palm when your face smacked the ground. And now Jisung decided to take it back? Without your consent? You’re not taking a bullet for him, not this time. 

Jisung puts his hands up in defeat. “Okay okay, I have a confession.” He inhales. “I sold it.” Just when you thought things can’t possibly get any worse. 

“What?!” You and Felix exclaim simultaneously. 

Felix tongues the inside of his cheek in annoyance. “Come here, tell you what..” 

The moment Jisung takes a step towards him, Felix takes his hand in a little bit too abruptly. He twists it at a weird angle, making Jisung wince. “That, is for selling the ring.” He presses your friend harshly against the coffee table, the handle of the gun secured on the nape of his neck, and you grimace at the sight. But also, you’re low-key enjoying this. “And that, is for being a little shit. You’re coming with me tomorrow, no negotiation.” 

Felix soon lets go when your brother glares at him, smiling softly, warm brown eyes twinkling like a starry night. Jisung backs away almost immediately in caution when he offers to pull him upright and cowers behind Minho. You can tell that he’s terrified of the seemingly harmless freckled boy now. This is what he gets for never learning, he’s made a grave mistake to touch someone’s property in the middle of an apocalypse, where everyone’s more than ready to tear each other apart when they’re pissed about off about something as little as being hangry. “Huh, you’re not very into handshakes then. Don’t you want your gun back too?” He puts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, turning to meet Woojin’s eyes. 

“Alright, we’ll have to talk about this later.” Your brother merely sneers at Jisung. “I’ll reintroduce you guys. Y/N, my sister.” He motions towards you before averting his attention to the other two. “That’s Minho, find him if you’re injured or need someone to knock some solid logic into your head.” Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. “And the moron who, uh, robbed you is Jisung. He’s a really good guy, I swear. His hands are apparently faster than his brain.” 

Chan speaks up dryly. “So he’s a doctor, and a part-time therapist.” Minho nods satisfactorily. “And he’s an idiot.” Jisung just smiles awkwardly because he’s not planning on getting his ass kicked again. At least not for the time being. 

You interject, still drowning in confusion. “Wait, you know him?” 

“Yeah, he’s the son of our parents’ former business partners. You guys used to hang out as toddlers.” Woojin says. 

You widen your eyes. “What?” You can’t believe it. Felix is ridiculously attractive (you’d hate to admit that in front of him) so hanging out with a boy this cute, even not for long would still definitely leave you with some kind of impression. There’s no way this charming guy had witnessed those times where you’re still taking medicine by swallowing them down with chocolate pudding. You’d rather bury yourself alive at this point. 

“The Lees made that?” You gasp.

Woojin nods reluctantly. “They sure did.” 

Felix takes a few steps forward and looks down at you, decreasing the distance between your faces. His minty breath fans your face and leaves you flustered within seconds. “Long time no see, Princess. Told you I will always find you.” He throws you a wolfish wink, proceeding to walk past you to go upstairs with Chan following him after. 

“Hey! I still want my gun back!” Jisung yells after him. 

The pet name that rolled off his tongue effortlessly sends your heartbeat over the edge. It’s beating vigorously inside your rib cage, louder than when your parents were about to eat you alive, louder than when you were kicked to the curb by some random mobs, so loud that you’re afraid everyone’s gonna hear it. It’s only your second encounter and he’s already messing with your heart just by simply existing as he is. 

Jesus fucking Christ. Now, you’re really screwed. 

Because falling for someone during an apocalypse is just another fucked up version of every rom-com to ever exist. Or maybe a knocked-off version of Warm Bodies, except Felix isn’t a zombie.

Yet.

four.

You wake up today feeling quite at peace for once in a while since the zombies outbreak only to find out that Jisung is heading outside to search for medicine with Minho. Meaning, drum rolls, you’re having the honor to go with Prince Charming aka Lee Felix and retrieve his stupid ring. You’re far too mad at Woojin to even finish the can of tuna that he kindly offered. Instead, you decide to bolt outside as soon as possible before you accidentally murder your brother. 

“Get in Princess, we don’t have all day!” Felix calls out loudly as he repeatedly honks his car. Admittedly, you’re quite impressed that he managed to find a whole ass Jeep in the middle of this ghost town. 

You enter the car, almost gasping at how good of a condition that this car is still in. Whoever owned this vehicle previously, God bless them because they definitely did a great job at keeping it nice and clean. There are no questionable items lying on the floor or inside one of the cabinets, the AC is still working, the radio isn’t showing those creepy statics sounds that never fail to chill you to the bones. 

Felix perks a brow in amusement. “It’s mine, by the way, I did a great job at keeping it clean huh?” When you give him nothing but a scowl, he chuckles lightheartedly and starts the engine. “Buckle up, I don’t want you to suddenly fly out of the window or anything.”

“Oh, you’re pretty shit at driving then.” You comment flatly, making an effort to avoid his eyes. They keep drawing you in even at the slightest chance. You’re not falling into that downward spiral again, nope, never. But you can’t help but notice how he still looks good in a bomber jacket with a simple tee underneath, tucked neatly inside his ripped jeans. 

Upon your cold response, Felix’s smile remains still on his lips. “Said someone who can’t even drive.” He snickers somewhat sarcastically. Wow, do you miss bickering with Minho about his three spoiled cats. 

“Sure, hand over the keys unless you want us both to play tennis with Hitler in the afterlife.” You protest with as much sarcasm. God, it’s been two minutes into the ride and the amount of willpower you’re mustering right now to not grab him by the collar and yank his ass out of this car is actually terrifying. But doing that can potentially threaten your own life so indeed, you’re starting to wonder if that’s gonna be the wisest decision. “What’s the big deal with that ring anyway? Can’t you just break into some jewelry store and find another one that you like?”

Felix looks into the distance, his smile faltering. “My mom wanted me to give it to the girl that I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with. Even when things are fucked up, like right about… now..” He tells you sternly with a hint of sadness in his tone, his warm brown eyes are now cloudy. It’s hard to break through the wall that he’s trying to build, but you don’t think you both are close enough to talk about these things anyway. 

If anything, you should try to lighten up the mood. “Good luck with that. Because the only thing you’re gonna be willing to live with now is a gun and those packets of Tim Tam Slam.” 

He turns sideways to make eye contact with you for a split second before averting his gaze back on the road. So you actually pay attention to the little details. “Call it.” Felix smiles again, and somehow, you feel like a weight is being lifted off your chest. “And mind you, I have a fiancé. Well, more like ‘had’ but whatever, doesn’t matter, same thing.” 

You nearly choke on your own saliva, eyes as wide as a goldfish’s. “You have a what?!”

“Relax, haven’t you heard of an arranged marriage before?” He looks at you as if you’re some kind of alien species from outer space. “I was gonna give the ring to her but bummer, your friend just had to sell it.”

Arms crossed over your chest, you hold back a chuckle with a hand secured on your mouth. “Wow..” You manage to choke out between giggles. “You must be getting something impressive to be able to agree to marry a goody-two-shoes who owns more money than what she knows to do with.”

“Pardon?” Felix snorts involuntarily. “What does that suppose to mean? Are you insulting my marriage?”

‘Insulting’ is an understatement for an entire lecture that you’ve already planned out in your head that you’re about to give him a piece of but you don’t think he’s ready for that just yet. Instead, you counter softly. “Not quite, but for the most parts, yeah, I guess I am.” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel and proceeds to throw daggers towards your direction with his eyes every three seconds. “But let me ask you this. If you wanna give that ring to your fiancé so badly, then do you really love her? Or is everything just a contract so that you won’t put your parents’ company at risk?” 

A comfortable silence falls upon the both of you as Felix starts replaying your words over and over again in his mind. He’s never the type to go out and about, looking for love like it’s the only purpose of his life. He’s never dated anyone before. He used to believe that love always comes at the most unexpected moment for the longest time and he should be waiting, not searching. He didn’t think much about the arranged marriage either. She was a nice girl, but they’ve only talked twice, and nothing really clicked like how he imagined love would feel like. Felix knew, he knew deep down that it wouldn’t work out after all but he was just too much of a coward to admit it. But your words hit differently, imprinting him with a little something called ‘reality’. 

Everything’s kinda screwed right now, no one knows how much longer humanity can keep up with this whole survival situation. Living on the streets, and can never get a good night's sleep. Although it does sting a bit knowing that he might die alone on this planet, it definitely gives him another point of view to look at the relationship between him and his fiancé. He doesn’t even want to imagine living in the same house with her at this point. 

“Your mom wanted you to give it to someone special right?” You tell him softly, a hand brushing over his as an attempt to soothe the ache in his chest. “Then you gotta find them. It’s not over yet. But that doesn’t mean there’s much time left. You don’t have to keep running towards something that isn’t worth it in the first place anymore.” You pause for a moment, lips curling upwards. “Because if we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?”

Felix bursts into laughter and brushes your hand off of him. “Ew! You stole that from a movie and it’s not even good. Jesus Y/N, get some counseling.”

“Don’t shit on my pop culture references like that you uncultured swine.” 

“Just don’t do that again.”

You roll your eyes at him. “One more word and I’ll burn you down with this Jeep.” And he just smirks at you because he knows for sure that you won’t have the heart to destroy such a good car when the world is literally falling apart. Because chances are, you hate your dad’s old grey Innovator that only pumps lukewarm air inside the vehicle. In which, isn’t the most ideal thing for an apocalypse. But Woojin loves that thing far too much to throw it away so you’ve never had the heart to tell him to. 

Felix calmly parks on a random sidewalk before taking the key and exits the car. “We’re here.” You follow him not long after, eyes squinted due to the brightness of the daylight. Even though you’re barely seeing anything, you can’t seem to recognize this neighborhood. And it doesn’t look very sketchy either, pretty mediocre to say the least. You can’t seem to remember if Woojin has taken you here or not. And you’re starting to wonder how many zombies are hiding behind those buildings, seeing your scent as a solution for their never-ending thirst. Who the hell did Jisung sell that ring to?

Felix narrows his eyes and spots something in the distance. “Y/N, are you seeing this?” You quickly stand beside him, and slowly, a slouched figure comes into view. “I’ll take care of that.” He places a hand on your shoulder when the figure picks up its pace, the muscles on your back tense up at his touch. “Trust me, I’m not gonna accidentally blow your head into bits.”

“Down!” 

You quickly duck and slide yourself across the concrete surface in time before Felix can swing the baseball bat straight into your face. The bat comes in contact with the zombie harshly enough to knock it backward, onto her bottom. You and Felix look at each other for a solid three seconds before approaching the zombie again, examining her more closely. Her once blond hair is now doused in nothing but blood, sticking to her face and neck. Both of her lips are completely distorted as if another zombie gave her the kiss of Death (quite literally) as a welcome ritual. Suddenly, she jolts up from her lying position, hands wagging in midair to grab onto something. 

You jump backward on instinct as Felix brings the baseball bat down again, and again, and again until you can’t even make out the horrendous features of the zombie anymore. He scrunches his nose at the smell of the poisoned blood and tosses the metal bat away. “Never hurts to double-tap, better not get blood on my white Jeep.” 

You blurt subconsciously. “Impressive, Charming.” Okay but in your defense, Felix just smacked the hell out of the zombie with a baseball bat, he basically saved your life. Although you’re fully capable of protecting yourself, that was pretty hot. 

He’s too busy fixing the sleeves of his shirt but his eyes immediately light up at your words. “Say that again?”

“In your freaking dreams, Lee.” 

Felix pulls you in and ruffles your hair, rocking you side to side happily. “Don’t be so uptight! Complimenting me once in a while wouldn’t kill anyone now, would it?” When he’s too immersed in annoying the shit out of you, something falls out of his pocket with a small ‘clang’. 

“Wait, you dropped something—“ You manage to wiggle out of his embrace and bend down to pick it up, and your mind just stops. “Felix…isn’t that your ring?”

five. 

“Jesus Christ!” Woojin almost yells when he sees a black-eyed Felix exiting the kitchen with an ice pack on his right hand, lips swollen with several cuts across his face. “What happened to you?”

You walk into the living room not long after, tiny scratches are scattered all over your pale knuckles, blood trickling down on your cheeks like you’ve been crying red. “Okay,” Woojin shakes his head, pushing himself up from the beige-colored couch. “What the fuck happened to the both of you?”

“I punched him in the face.” “She punched me in the face.” The both of you confess in sync, exchanging questionable looks before turning away from each other. 

“And why is there blood on your face again?” Woojin swears, if Felix dares to touch you, he will put his head on a chopping block, not to mention hurting you. 

You shrug back, grabbing a water bottle from the coffee table and chug on it generously. “It’s not mine.” Without turning your head, you hand the bottle over to Felix. The boy gladly receives it, downing the whole thing left in one go. “Anyway, some mobsters appeared out of nowhere and they wanted his stupid ring. I got my ass kicked for a goddamn piece of jewelry, twice.” You merely glare at Felix who’s applying pressure to the cool pack of ice against his bruised eye, wincing every once in a while. He does feel kinda guilty, believe it or not. Maybe lying wasn’t the best option to get you to hang out with him more. There’s no way you two could have died back there, but he would be more than ready to throw the ring away for the sake of your safety. 

But either way, Jisung’s gonna be dead meat to you after this. 

“You do realize that we just kissed indirectly right?” Felix laughs when you chuck the now empty water bottle at him, hissing in anger. He’s acting like such a Lee, irritating, and carefree most of the time. In which, makes you wanna kill him with your bare hands even more in these kinds of situations. “Come here, a princess shouldn’t have blood on her pretty face.” He manages to turn you around and face him as he pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket. When he leans down slightly to wipe the crimson stickiness away, your once tense muscles now relax, loosening themselves. 

Within this proximity, you’re able to take a closer look at his starry eyes with long lashes framing them perfectly, his cute button nose, his peachy lips and how his freckles are more beautiful than anything you’ve seen before. One of his hands holds your neck in place while the other is secured on your waist so it’s easier for him to get a better angle. Felix furrows his brows every now and then, being careful and gentle at the same time to get rid of the blood off your face completely. He did pull you into doing the dirty business after all. Might as well make up for it. 

You didn’t push him away because this feels...safe, and right. He makes you feel at ease after the longest time, it’s like nothing you’ve experienced before. Not even your brother can possess this sense of comfort in his presence. It almost makes you smile which is seemingly paradoxical because forty minutes ago, you were figuring out ways to hide a corpse since you couldn’t stand his nosy ass for much longer. 

“Ew, I’m getting out of here. I can’t bear seeing this.” Woojin makes a gagging noise before stumbling out of the living room with his cup of espresso, leaving you and Felix alone in the living room. A muffled silence occurs for the next thirty seconds. 

“There,” He clears his throat before pulling away. “Done.” 

You look away. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that though.”

“Anything for my princess.”

You ignore his cheeky smile before rummaging through the wooden drawers. “Sit down.” You demand once you pull out a mini first aid kit, Minho always keeps those randomly around the house just in case. One can never be too careful after all. Felix does as you say, taking a seat on the couch. He watches you taking out a cotton swab with a bottle of sanitizing solution. “Lean in.” You command while dipping the cotton swab into the solution, his hand brushing over your thigh accidentally. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You shake your head as an attempt to hide the coral tint on your cheeks. “This is gonna hurt though…” You warn him, cotton swab hovering over one of the cuts on his cheeks. Felix nods obediently, clenching his fists and squeezes his eyes shut to brace himself for the burn. He can’t gush over how cute you look anymore since he’s secretly terrified of cleaning wounds. But who isn’t?

You smirk internally. “Okay, I’m gonna count down from three to one.”

“Three..” A single drop of cold sweat rolls down on his temple. 

“Two..” He holds his breath. But before he can react properly, you’re already pressing the cotton swab onto his wound, your other hand pinning his down firmly. “Felix quit moving already! How old are you for fuck’s sake?!” You laugh wholeheartedly, struggling to hold him in place while cleaning his opened cuts with the solution. 

Felix shrieks like a little child. “Ah! Ow! Y/N! Ah! Y/N! Y/N, I SWEAR TO GOD!” He succeeds in pulling away after a good three minutes, the burn from the alcohol feels like there’s fire coursing through his veins, burning a hole right through his skin. He’s not doing that ever again. “That hurt like a motherfucker.” Whimpering, his brows are knitted together in agony when you put a bandage over the wound. “You didn’t even finish counting, I hate you.”

 “There there you big baby.” Smiling at him, your hand gently caresses his calloused ones. It doesn’t take him long to realize how soft your hands are, and how cold they are compared to him too. So he decides to link your fingers together, hoping to give you some of his warmth. You completely freeze at his action and choose to look anywhere but his eyes, from the broken TV to the random magazines on the coffee table and his shiny pistol next to them. 

Felix brushes his thumb over the back of your hand and chuckles. “See, you do know how to smile. It’s not that hard to smile in front of me after all, is it?” He brings your knuckles to his lips and peppers small kisses over them lovingly. It makes his heart crack a little upon seeing them all scratched up, because of him. Little actions like this always make you feel fuzzy on the inside, especially when it comes from someone like Felix? You’re done for. 

“I didn’t see this. I’ve never seen this. I’m not seeing this. I will never see this again.” He pulls away shyly when Jisung starts teasing you both as he passes by the living room from upstairs. Oh right, weren’t you planning on decking his face for setting you on a ‘date’ with a guy you hardly know only after three solid days when he kicked your ass?

“HAN JISUNG GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!” 

six.

Falling for Lee Felix is scarier than getting infected with the Mad Cow Disease (or Mad Zombie Disease). It’s official. But knowing the basic bitch that you are, being loopy in love with him is quite inevitable. There’s no use fighting against fate anyway, still, you’re going to postpone it for as long as you can because you definitely don’t wanna get too attached during an apocalypse. 

Sadly, having Felix share a room with Chan right beside yours doesn’t exactly help you avoid him. He always roams the house half-naked at night like he’s trying to put his chiseled abs up for auction after every shower. One time he almost gave you a cardiac arrest when you found him rummaging through the fridge at two in the morning without a shirt on. There were some nights where you didn’t even get a wink of sleep because Chan and he were too busy jamming to music even though they know that the walls in this house are clearly paper-thin. However, you chose to let them slide for the sake of Jisung’s and Minho’s so-called ‘beauty sleep’ aka their spontaneous cuddle sessions throughout the day. That’s only an excuse to avoid him even more. 

Felix obviously knows what’s up, so he’s been acting extra annoying these days to get your attention. He keeps popping his head inside your room (which was initially a storage room but you insisted on having it since you didn’t want to share your questionable sleeping habits with any of the guys) and asks for random stuff that never seems to make sense. Like who needs a fucking stapler when the whole world is falling into a crisis? You still kept yourself together and didn’t throw hands at him because you’re not planning on giving him what he wanted. 

But what Felix wants? Felix gets. 

“Good morning Princess..” He half-whispers and half-singsongs after shutting the door of your room with his foot. “Thank fucking God.” He mentally bows to whatever gods up there that’s pushing their blood family feud aside to bless him for the day. You’re still fast asleep, snoring softly with your grey blanket wrapped around your body. 

He’s impressed by how you still manage to not wake up early every other day because there’s no curtain unlike his room so the sunlight can easily peer right through, casting a delicate light on your figure. Surprisingly, you don’t sleep like Chan, with his leg dangling off the edge of the bed and his blanket’s on the floor by the time the sun rises again. You sleep with four limbs curled inwards, hands grabbing two full fists of the grey fabric like a puppy. 

He also notices how you’re still keeping pictures of your childhood memories on one of the empty bookshelves. There’s one with you and Woojin standing in the middle of Time Square when you both came to the States. And there’s another one where you’re dressed up as Harley Quinn with Hyunjin as the Joker on your right, Jisung as Rick Flag to your left and your brother as Deadshot squatting on the ground for your senior year’s Halloween party. Although you’re more of a Marvel gal yourself. 

“Y/N...” Felix whispers softly as he sits down on your bed, careful not to wake you up. His original plan to have you chase him up and down the house is already going down the drain since he really doesn’t want to ruin a good night's sleep. Chan has done that to him one too many times and he sure knows the consequences. Heck, Chan might not even see him after this. 

Felix outstretches his hand carefully, caressing your cheekbone like you’re made of glass. He can’t help but act like a creep because you’re too cute for your own good when you’re sleeping. It’s kinda nice actually, to not have you yelling at him for not putting clothes on right after his shower or wrestling him to the floor whenever he headlocks you at the most random times. 

Suddenly, your eyes shoot open. The moment you see another human being’s presence in your own personal bubble, you automatically grab him by the neck before pinning him down onto the bed, locking his arms behind his back. “Ow! Ow! Dude, chill!” Felix cries out from underneath you, struggling to breathe properly when you’re practically crushing his lungs. Okay, he definitely did not see that coming. 

“My goodness, what are you doing here?!” You gasp in realization, pushing yourself off the bed. 

“Woojin- said-“ he chokes out between uneven breaths. “I could- come in- and wake you up.” 

You cross your arms and sigh. “Yeah, come in.” You say with expressive hands. “Not touching me without my consent.” 

He winces at the red marks across his wrists. “Since when can you fight someone like that?” Yeah, those aren’t going away anytime soon. 

“What part of ‘Zombie Apocalypse Self-Learn Defense Basics 101’ don’t you understand?” You yawn tiredly before running a hand through your bed head. “Anyway, what do you want?” 

Felix beams innocently, taking in the sight of your pajamas. “Your attention.” And you internally thank your brother for not doing laundry yesterday (water’s also running low), which means you had to borrow Minho’s PJs instead of wearing your Mickey Mouse sweatpants with the tank top from your old basketball team.  

You really don’t have time for this, you think. Coldly, “Why?” you fake a lifeless smile. 

“You’ve never spoken to me since the day when those mobsters beat the shit out of us.” He pouts like a sad kitten. “Look, I know that it’s my fault okay? I’m sorry. But I really just wanted to hang out with you. If you didn’t play hard to get, you would have saved us a trip to some sketchy neighborhood.” 

You stop him right there. “First of all, I did talk to you. Just a maximum of five words per day. And secondly, they didn’t beat the shit out of us, we made them run back to wherever they came from, crying for their mommy while soiling their pants.” 

“There!” He exclaims. “You said it yourself. Five words per day. Why? Am I that much of an asshole to hold a civil conversation with? Don’t tell me that you’re still holding grudges from the day we first met.” 

“So what if I hold grudges? Do you think holding my best friend at gunpoint is gonna make me wanna befriend you?”

“Okay, bad example—“

“Look, can we talk this out later? I need to go outside and look for some food. We’re running out of those premade, frozen chicken nuggets that my brother’s obsessed with. As always.” You push him aside and place your hand on the doorknob. But Felix catches your hand in time before you can twist it, yanking it back so that you’re facing him, dead in the eye. He’s not letting go of his chance again. “Let-me-go.” You deadpan but receive a frown from him as a reply. 

“No,” Felix looks like you just spit on him, his mocha eyes are now unreadable, almost hurt at why you’re acting so cold towards him. Some guys find it hot when girls have this kind of facade on, but this? This shit hurts him, tremendously. You might see him as a spoiled brat at day and party animal at night who just happens to be friends with your brother for all he knows. “I don’t trust your definition of ‘later’. Who knows? You might never let me into your life again after this conversation. I don’t like people shutting me out like this. Tell me, Y/N, do you really hate me that much? If so, I solemnly swear I will never talk to you again.”

Your prepared beforehand witty retort grows dead on the tip of your tongue. His eyes...they’re not lying. It makes your heart crack a bit upon seeing how sad they look right now. Perhaps you were being too harsh on him? Maybe you shouldn’t have judged him from the get-go? “You care about me, don’t you?” Felix reaches his hand upwards to tug a strand of hair behind your ear. He gently grabs your hand and places them on his cheekbone, where a scar is fading by time. “Remember this? You treated me. You do care, Y/N. You’re not stupid enough to think that I didn’t know right?”

You retrieve your hand and scoff. “Why would I care? Did I look like I cared? The only reasons I treated your wounds were because I could witness your pathetic state and I punched you in the face previously. Totally didn’t regret that but still, I wanted to make it up to you.” You say, desperately trying to wiggle your way out of this conversation because you’re not enjoying where this is going. 

He inches closer and closer until he’s a breath away from your lips. “Because when you were treating my wounds, you had that dumb look on your face whenever you’re focused.” And you finally exhale when he pulls away, backing out of your room with a smirk. “I’ll wait in the car, your Highness.” 

seven.

Going grocery shopping with Felix is rather stressful. Not because there are zombies spontaneously popping out of nowhere every five minutes, but because you quickly, quickly realize that this boy knows nothing about food other than stuffing his face until he can’t even pick himself up anymore. He can’t tell the difference between actually good meat and meat that’s been spoiled for several weeks. You literally can’t even fathom why because the foul smell would definitely give it away but unfortunately, he doesn’t even spare a second to suspect the sketchy hues of green and blue on the red surface. 

But hey, at least he can kick some zombies’ asses when you’re too busy deciding between salmon and tuna. You’d always end up getting both anyway because why not? Guess this is what you get for not having to pay for anything. Being stuck with an uneducated fool who’s never once experienced working in the kitchen. The area around here is somewhat isolated so the stores are still pretty stocked up with all of the essentials. Thank God they haven’t run out of Woojin’s favorite chicken nuggets. 

“Do you even know what this is?” You throw your hands up midair in disbelief, referring to the pile of grapefruits that are now half-way empty for no particular reason. 

Felix makes a thinking face, lips pursing. “I think it’s a flamingo.” 

“Lee Yongbok, you gotta be shitting me—“

He stops midway towards the frozen aisle. “Woah woah slow down bro, where did you get that name from?” His Korean name is as confidential as Chan’s secret drawers full of his guilty pleasure food. Not many people call him that because he secretly hates it and whoever takes that advantage to make fun of him deserves the cruelest of punishment. Felix frowns furiously at you before grabbing several packs of the chicken nuggets, fries, and some dumplings to throw them into the cart along with his Tim Tam Slam and your KitKat. “Chan told you right? He’s been on my ass all week since we moved in with you guys.”

You help him with stocking up canned food. “Why though? He seems like such a nice guy.” Okay except for the fact that he almost blew Jisung’s brain out. But you’re not gonna dwell on the past. “No worries though, everyone has probably known your Korean name by now.”

“This is not what I signed up for.”

You aggressively grab him by the neck to ruffle his hair, laughing at his misery. “Look at us, we’re already becoming so civil, I bet my brother is loving this.”

Felix tugs himself free from your grip to fix his hair and huffs. “Could be fate, you know?” He wiggles his brows, making you gag as you both make your way out of the store. 

“Right,” you roll your eyes. “And they say I’m the crazy one.”

“No! I’m serious!” He exclaims with two hands up in defense. “One thing leads to another. Are you seeing how far we’ve come?” He pauses for a bit when the two of you reach the car so that he can throw everything to the backseats. “Jisung impulsively stole my ring, which made us run into each other. I met you again because I just happen to be friends with your brother. And since you tried to avoid me so hard, I had an excuse to piss you off so that I’m making up to you right now. How is that not fate?” He ends his speech before entering the car, inserting his key to start the engine.

You jump into the passenger’s seat, scoffing. “Thanks for the pep talk, pretty sure fate’s doing all the work. Now, where are we going?”

“I’m hungry, and I’m craving something.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “And I’m supposed to care because..?”

“Shut up and turn on some music.” He tosses you his phone. 

Felix’s playlist consists of a handful of Coldplay’s songs with some other upbeat, trendy ones. He knows enough lyrics to sing along to throughout the drive. You look out the window and loosen yourself up a bit. His voice is surprisingly soothing, a stark contrast to his usual deep talking voice which is kinda nice to listen to. Both of you never start talking because you’re already dozing off to Dreamland because he had the audacity to drag your ass out of bed at eight in the morning. Your head constantly knocks onto the cool glass window every two minutes or so, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering your slumber. 

It’s almost noon, and the sun’s probably the only thing that’s keeping Felix awake. He’s hungry, thirsty, sleepy and kind of stiff from occupying the driver’s seat for way too long. He didn’t get any sleep last night, busy thinking of ways to get your attention again. Luckily, he didn’t walk out of your room with a black eye this time. Felix mentally exhales when he pulls up, and his eyes are met with the giant purple and pink neon sign: “Fancy” aka Chan’s favorite place. He shuts the engine off before leaning over to wake you up. 

“Meow,” he flinches at the sound and immediately turns to you. You would never possibly make that, would you? “Meow,” there it is again. His eyes shift again to the backseats, squinting hard only to make out a yellow ball of fluff shuffling through the bags of groceries. “Oh my God Soonie, what the hell are you doing here?” He sighs in relief when the cat finally looks up at him, green eyes piercing through the dark. 

You stir in your slumber and eventually wake up upon hearing the commotion. “What happened?” A loud yawn escapes your lips when you rub your eyes tiredly. You turn around only to see Minho’s oldest cat pawing at the paper bags.  “Are you seeing Soonie in the backseats right now or am I just delusional?” 

“Well, that makes two of us. She probably sneaked out again, Minho’s gonna throw hands soon.” Felix scoops Soonie into his arms easily and opens the door. Then, he turns around to look at you. “Come on, I bet you’re hungry, my treat.” 

eight.

“Food,” Felix tells you when he shuts the door behind his back. He takes in the cool air of the diner and exhales deeply. God bless humanity for air conditioners. 

You nod back without looking at him. “Yeah, food.” And you let him drag you across the diner by the wrist. 

The diner is definitely not the place that needs to be booked months in advance. It’s not the kind with large mullioned windows, long embroidered curtains, velvet tables or delicate classical music in the background. It leans more towards the retro style with checkered floor, colorful and fun pieces of furniture, somewhere that makes you feel cozy too. You like it here. 

Felix outstretches his limbs and yawns, petting Soonie gently. The cat isn’t as impulsive as she is whenever Doongie or Dori is trying to steal her toy. Thank goodness. “Nayeon!” He smiles and waves at the brunette girl behind the counter. 

She quickly catches your eyes with her bunny-like smile, radiant skin, and pretty eyes. When she smiles, her cheeks are bunched up, eyes wrinkling into little crescent moons. The type of smile that will make anyone a little breathless. Then, you hear Felix mumbling that something smells really fucking good when he leans over the counter. You look around the diner once again, although it’s empty, there are still people working as if they don’t mind the given circumstances. These people are all high, they are all insane. They have to be.

Nayeon pulls out a pen along with her notepad, eyeing you with curiosity. “Hey kid, where’s Chan?” And you quickly break eye contact with her, pretending to have some kind of interest in the photo of her with other eight girls right beside the menu. They were on a tropical island, smiling and laughing with the ocean waves splashing against them. All of them are incredibly gorgeous, making you feel small in comparison.

“He’s elsewhere with Woojin today. I’ll take the usual,” Felix slides the smaller version of the menu across the counter, perking a brow for you to take a look at it. “Choose whatever you like.” 

You shrug. “Anything will do.” 

“Then two of what I already said then.” He nods towards the waitress, earning another warm smile. 

Nayeon taps her pen against her cheek, whispering. “Who’s that? Did you find someone?” She looks down at how his hand is holding onto yours and grins mischievously. Felix automatically drops your hand at her words, blushing furiously while looking down in slight embarrassment. “Ah, no need to explain, I’ve got you.” She places a hand on his shoulder and laughs before punching in your order. 

“It’s not—“

Nayeon puts her index finger over his mouth. “I’ve got you.” She’s never seen Felix hanging out with any girl other than his sisters before so she’s 90% sure that you’re not just any girl to be able to go to this specific diner with him. By the look of it, there’s gotta be something between you two. How you’re constantly staring into midair and anywhere else to avoid her eagle eyes, how Felix’s cheeks are redder than a tomato. Everything just speaks for itself. “Your orders will be right out.” She beams and walks back into the kitchen. You almost bury yourself alive hearing multiple females squealing and giggling in the distance. 

“Sorry about that,” he pushes himself away from the counter before smiling sheepishly. “They just get excited because—“

“Because you’re a coward who’s never been in a relationship before.” You finish his sentence with a smirk, snatching Soonie from his pocket and walk over to one of the round tables. 

Felix settles down on the opposite side of the table with a sigh. He shoots you a dirty look before pouting. “God, you’re so mean. Stop exposing my miserable, non-existent love life.” 

[1:35p.m.]

meanhoe | uhm hello Kardashians, I’m looking for my eldest daughter Soonie?

woobear | not the living room!

[1:36p.m.]

trashbin | not my room!

drama lama | not the backyard!

old man | not the kitchen either!

[1:37p.m.]

quokka | not the bar too!

meanhoe | tf are you doing at a bar?

quokka | retrieving my sanity…

[1:38p.m.]

meanhoe | you know that my whiskey is wayyy better right?

quokka |  DID I STUTTER?

meanhoe | swiped left.

[1:39p.m.] 

y/n | she was inside Felix’s Jeep for some reason, we’re at a diner rn, some place called ‘Fancy’?

old man | LEE FELIX YOU TRAITOR!!

old man | YOU BETTER BRING ME SOME WHEN YOU GET HOME.

[1:40p.m.]

meanhoe | bring her home safely, and I’ll make dinner.

meanhoe | if not, I will grab you both by the throat and tear you apart, piece by piece.

meanhoe | there will be no negotiation, no compromise, and no mercy.

You just grin at your phone before putting the device away and shudder slightly. That’s enough Internet for today, boys being boys. This is why you’re low-key terrified of cat lovers. “Well aren’t you busy,” Felix scoffs when he sees that you’re not having any interest in one of the proper conversations with him that rarely happens. “Too busy texting with some cute boy to talk to me instead?” He cocks his head sideways, mustering his best puppy eyes or in this case, kitten eyes because he looks just like ‘Puss in Boots’.

You pinch his nose cutely, making him back off in pain. “If you’re saying Minho aka the freaky dad cat is cute then yes, I am extremely occupied with him threatening my life for having his beloved daughter in my arms.” Then, you allow him to glare at you for as long as he likes while you’re too focused on admiring the view from the window. The sky is oddly blue today, not too cloudy, not too sunny, the air is not that stuffy either. Maybe on a good day, even a zombie apocalypse seems pretty normal. You can understand why these girls still want to run the diner during times like this, simply because they love their job. And they want to help those in need because it’s the least they can do, to give people a heartwarming meal. 

“Sorry,” Nayeon walks towards your table with a bowl of warm milk. “The food will be out in a minute, I just don’t want the little thing to starve and be all miserable while you guys are stuffing your faces.” She pets Soonie with the warmest smile and the kitten purrs into her touch, closing her eyes in satisfaction. 

Felix pulls her out of your arms and gently places her next to him on the cushioned surface. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that though. Minho spoils her on a daily basis.”

Curiously, “When did this happen?” You frown before running your index finger over a small hole that just happens to be the size of a bullet, cautious enough to not accidentally cut your finger. 

“Oh, that,” The brunette waitress' expression mirrors yours, slightly confused and intrigued. “Huh, I wonder…”

And all of the colors drain on your face. “Duck,” you say breathlessly, breaths coming in short. 

“What?” Felix can barely hear his own voice. 

Nayeon suddenly looks alarmed. “Everyone get down!” She shouts at the top of her lungs, arms flailing like a madwoman. “GET DOWN! NOW!”

Just then, a bullet pierces right through the window, glass shattering into pieces as you see Nayeon clutching onto her own stomach, blood oozing from her fresh wound. You’re ready to yelp aloud when Felix pulls you down onto the ground with him, letting his body cover up your head and shards of glass cut his cheeks. The diner grows uncomfortably silent when no sound is made, but you still keep your eyes shut and your face buried in his chest. 

“Hey hey look at me,” Felix tells you, angling your jaw so that you can make eye contact with him although your eyes are quivering in fear. It’s not the first time you’ve heard a gunshot before but he’s never seen you so shaken up about it before. It hurts seeing you like this. “We’re gonna be okay—“

Before you can reply without tripping over your own words, something falls onto the tiled floor, rolling across the surface to reach the other side of the diner. You squint your eyes hard to make out the shape of the object. It was almost the size of an avocado, round-ish, and dark. No one seems to notice it at all until there’s an ear-piercing sound that keeps beeping, echoing throughout the entire diner. 

“Shit—“ You breathe out and hold onto Felix tightly, bracing yourself for the blow. 

That’s when the entire place explodes, destroying every single thing until there’s nothing left but the grey ashes that are following the wind to reach the burning sky above. 

Utterly demolished, you’d say.

nine.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Woojin says softly when he sits down next to you on your bed. He gives your hand a squeeze in reassurance, heartbroken at your state. You look as pale as a ghost, the bags under your eyes more evident than ever, and your lips chapped, starting to turn purple. You haven’t touched the food that Minho offered for the past few days, still refusing to talk to any of the guys. But he was relieved that you were saved from the pile of ruins by one of the workers there - Jihyo, he believes that’s her name. He wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to you. 

“No,” you shake your head profusely. “Not now.”

“So the thought of losing him does scare the shit out of you?”

You nod. “Yeah.” 

“Then you’ve found your happy ending,” your brother ruffles your hair and stands up. “Yes, right in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.” He smiles at you one last time, “Anyway, you better find him then. Godspeed.” before closing the door with a small ‘click’. 

Meanwhile, you’re staring at the wooden floor blankly, starting to wonder how filthy rich the previous family living here was. By the look of it, they seemed to be pretty well off but were probably scared shitless when the disease spread like wildfire. With that, they took off running, leaving everything behind to preserve their precious lives. But who knows? They could be some random zombies out there, roaming the streets mindlessly by now. 

You space out a lot these days, thinking about random things, but mostly him. You keep on asking yourself where in the world is he, how is he holding up, but it’s all pointless since you don’t even know if he’s still… Anyway, but when you peer at the small mirror on your table, you can see a small glimmer of another presence inside your room. Sometimes you don’t realize how far you can go whenever you’re thinking hard about something. It gets to the point where you don’t even move when Minho or Hyunjin is yelling or screaming about some stupid things right in front of your eyes. 

You take another look, eyes growing wide. It’s a glimmer of a pink-haired boy. 

“Hey Princess, not gonna choke me to death for intruding your room this time?” Felix jokes before kneeling down in front of you. It takes you an entire two minutes to understand that he’s here. He’s really here. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him in person that you’re starting to get emotional just by looking into his eyes. They’re still starry, warm and give you a sense of comfort whenever your gazes touch. “Hey, it’s all good now.” He wipes a single tear away from your face that you didn’t even take notice of. 

You choke out, debating on whether you should be bawling your eyes out because he’s safe and sound or kick his ass for worrying you. “You can’t just come back and say that! Do you know how scared I was?! Do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I’ve gone through? And now you’re just gonna come back from the Underworld to tell me that ‘It’s all good now’? Well then if you excuse me, I’m gonna go murder my friends and see if it w—“

Felix figures you still haven’t changed one bit. He knows that you’re a lover, not a fighter. Talking big on the outside but easily hurt on the inside. That’s one of the things that makes you who you are today, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. So he wordlessly leans in to capture your lips in his, swallowing every word, every nonsense, every nag that you’re gonna throw his way until you completely melt into his touch. The kiss makes your head a little fuzzy, and butterflies are tickling at the pit of your stomach. For someone who’s never been in a relationship before, Felix will definitely make you giddy all day with a kiss like this. It’s kind of innocent, kind of childish but unforgettable. 

The deeper the kiss gets, the more you think about your conversation with him the other day when he’s driving you to the diner. Fate might be a thing, but still a debatable topic. You’re not gonna say that you believe in fate because that’s a whole lot of commitment for someone who can’t even stay up to date with a short web drama. But maybe, just maybe, fate is doing its job just fine after all because you can’t ask for anyone else to be with you at the end of the world. You know that Felix’s not here just because the universe pities you (or him), or he will love you just for the hell of it either. Everything happens for a reason, but more importantly than ever, he’s not going anywhere this time. You didn’t ask, you’re sure of it by the look in his mocha eyes. 

Because like you’ve said before, his eyes never lie. They could never. 

You pull away before planting your hands on either side of his shoulders, chest heaving up and down due to shortness of breaths. “How did you...you know, make it?”

“I really thought that I was going to suffocate to my untimely death under the ruins of the diner but the girls found me later on when they were digging through everything. I was knocked out for a good week, some scratches here and there, but no one was hurt severely“ he stops himself before continuing when he sees your glossy eyes. “Nayeon is fine too. She didn’t lose that much blood, surprisingly.” 

You let silence fall upon the both of you for a second when a rush of relief runs down your spine. Then, your lips twitch slightly at what you’re going to say next. “Do you know why I treated your wounds that day? Do you know why I stared at the floor when your friend was teasing us? Do you know why I spent the past few days being all depressed and teary in bed?” You ask Felix with such determination that it makes him chuckle. 

“Easy,” he grins and caresses your cheekbone the exact same way he did a few days ago. “Because you fell for a spoiled rich kid who knows absolutely nothing about being in love. Just like how I did for you, a girl who’s best at killing the walking dead, not cooking, not cleaning, none of that shit. Weirdly enough, fate brought the two of us together again when we’re both lying on the borderline between life and death.” 

You roll your eyes at him and finally crack a smile. The smile that he adores the most. “Then what if fate does us apart? What if it doesn’t want us to end up with each other again? What if this isn’t a happy ending but a beginning to something much more terrifying?”

“In that case,” Felix leans in again, his breath fanning your cheeks. “I will always find you. And look for you, and run to you until I no longer have the strength to lift myself off the ground with my own feet.” He gently slips the silver ring that he treasures with his entire life onto your finger and places small kisses on your knuckles, looking as beautiful as ever. 

He’s right, and wrong at the same time. The idea of fate does have some kind of power over mundane mortals like you because you’ve been tied down to the idea of not being able to control your own life since you’re born. But on the other hand, sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hand to be able to get what you want in life. So seeing how determined Felix is to find you even if it means walking to the other side of the planet with his bare feet in spite of being such a naïveté who believes in things that are considered dumb, you know that he’s being serious. 

At the same time, you accept the fact that you didn’t find love, it found you because it’s got a little something to do with fate, destiny and what’s written in the stars. 

You tell him, voice hoarse. “You’ll find me and never let me go?”

“Not this lifetime, not even in another one.” He says with a smile, eyes crinkling. 

[thevodkadidthis]

Hickeys and Sharpies.

Pairing: Female!Reader x Professor!Sebastian. College AU.  Warning(s): some light smut, cussing, age gap and fluff(?) Word Count: 2.2K words  Summary: when a supposedly one-night stands ends up with a twist.  Note: some 3am ideas came in mind, lmao. pardon me for being t h i s lame, hope you like this anyway! 

Cursing for what felt like the hundredth time even though you just got up from bed, you quickly paced around the room to pick up the discarded clothes that are scattered on the floor. You glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table and frowned upon seeing that you are already a few minutes late for the first period.

Wearing nothing but your undergarments, you contemplated whether you should take a bath or run for class. Apparently, you still reek of alcohol, a bit of sweat and a bit of him. “Fuck it.” You muttered under your breath and went for the latter idea. You settled in wearing a printed over-sized shirt and denim pants, spraying a bit of perfume to try and hide the absence of a decent bath. You tried to comb your hair and fixed your appearance in front of the mirror. After a couple of attempts, you finally breathed a satisfied sigh and went on to attend the first period.

You didn’t want to be late, especially now that you are supposed to meet the new teacher for Linguistics. Throughout the trip to the campus, you couldn’t help but to visualize the things that had occurred the previous night, while trying not to mind the growing headache on both sides of your head.

Feeling reckless and adventurous, you and your friends decided to drink in a club that is a bit far from the dormitories, a bit far from the campus—to try and meet new people, and to try things out in other places. One of your friends recommended a certain place, and as you arrive at the front, you could already see the neon lights and other bright lights that seemed to shoot into the sky. You felt a wave of excitement in your gut as you entered the place; a crowd of dancing people drenched in sweat welcomed you, loud music boomed and reverberated from all places in the darkly-lit room. A friend immediately approached the bar and called all of you for a round of shots, tequila is always the best starter for a fun night, you thought, as you downed 3 shots of it. Quickly aiding the burn in your throat with a slice of lemon and salt that sits on the counter, you winced and closed your eyes as the familiar sensation caused by the alcohol slowly creep its way into your skin, and into your bones. Feeling a bit loosened up, you dragged one person from your group and headed to the center for a dance when one of your favorite songs plays. You swayed your hips and bobbed your head to the beat of the music. There were a couple of boys who started to dance around you yet you paid no mind, all of them looked wasted and shit-faced—you didn’t want that. After a couple of minutes, you approached the bar for another drink. Wiping the droplets of sweat that formed in your forehead, you asked the bartender for a tequila shot and fanned yourself using your hand to try and get some air.

“That dude right there wants to pay for your drink.” The bartender approached and handed you two shots of tequila, along with a slice of lemon and salt, like how you took it earlier. You glanced to the direction where he motioned and saw a man wearing black and tight sweater that obviously hugged his well-built body. You narrowed your eyes to try and get a better look, he certainly does not look like any college student. He was staring right back at you and raised his glass of beer, you mirrored his move and mouthed a thank you to him and drank the shot.

You entered the main entrance and checked for your schedule that’s in your phone, and started sprinting towards the room for your first class. Clearing your throat, you slowly opened the door in the back of the room and quietly settled into the seat on the farthest part of the room—however, everyone seemed to look at you despite of your efforts at trying to stay quiet upon entering the room, you even had your head down to pay some respect to the professor. Looking back at everyone, you couldn’t exactly decipher the expressions they have on their faces, they were simply looking, as if it’s the first time they encountered a student that is late for her class.

Then you stared at the front, where the professor stood, arms crossed on chest.

Jesus fucking Christ, you’ve got to be shitting me.

He didn’t try to stop the smirk that forms on his lips as he continues to stare at you, “Sorry I’m late, sir.”

“I was just discussing about the rules and regulations in the room, more specifically, how I do not encourage latecomers or tardy students.” He started to sit on the edge of his wooden table, your gaze dropped on his incredibly tight jeans that accentuates his thick thighs, your breath was caught on your throat because he knew where exactly you’re looking. “But I’m going to let you slide today, since you look like you had a rough night.” He continued, emphasizing the rough word and you felt your head spinning even more.

Everyone already stopped looking at you so you took that time to close your eyes and curse, again. Dropping your head low on the table, you mentally tried to remember the events again, as you try to come up with an explanation as to why you are stuck in a situation like this.

Once separated by a bar counter and a couple of tables, you and the stranger who bought you a drink somehow found a way to touch each other. You were suddenly back on the dance floor again, more loosened up than ever as you feel a pair of hands caressing your sides as he guides your hips and you just kept on swaying, you turned your back to him and danced harder, intentionally bumping your ass towards his groin and you heard how his breath got caught on his mouth, you smirked at him, feeling a bit more bold and confident, knowing you had that kind of effect over him. Reaching out to grasp a handful of your hair and tilting your head to the side, “Do you want to get out of here?” he asked and he didn’t need a verbal answer because you were already pulling his hand away and towards the exit.

You took out a notebook from your bag along with a black pen and started writing scribbles on the pages, momentarily looking up to the teacher and pretending to pay attention, but your mind is simply wandering away and into the memories from last night. You knew why his eyes always lingered on you longer, but you are always the one to break it off by drawing lines and odd shapes on your notes.

After a painfully long ride towards your dorm building, his impatience and growing desire was finally satiated as his lips crashed on you the moment your keys unlocked the front door. His hands were all over the place: one, it was placed on the back of your neck to press you more against him; two, he dragged it downwards to cup your breast; three, it was moving up and down on your sides while both of your tongues fight for dominance and power.

Deprived of air, he pulled away, and his eyes glistened with pure lust and desire under the dim lights of your room, “You’re wearing too much clothes.” He grunted, you pulled the hem of your dress upward and completely taking it off. He took a couple of seconds to stare at your body, drinking in your appearance.

You tried to pull his shirt away and you felt your thighs pressing against each other as you stare at his body, he had the most beautiful body you have ever seen and you knew you weren’t going to last long with him, you’d fall apart, almost immediately.

His lips found its way back to yours, with more force now and hunger, “I’ll make you feel so fucking good.”

Chewing on the other end of the pen, you looked outside and at the windows as you keep on reminiscing. You really tried to pay attention and to listen to him, but your gaze kept dropping on his smooth and pink lips, the way his arm muscles flexed whenever he raises it, and how he lick his lips from time to time while speaking in front of the class. Then, you remembered the bitten marks on your chest and a bit on your collarbones while you were wearing your bra and the shirt earlier. You kept on looking down at your groin as the vision of your physical connection flashes by in your mind.

It felt good to be on top of him while his hands grip on your hips tight, you swore it will bruise the day after but you didn’t mind. He felt good inside of you as he fills you up and you continue to pound into him, your fingers made its way to your bundle of nerves and started to touch yourself but he was quick to spot the move and he swat your hand away, replacing it with his own.

Go on, let it all out

Moan my name

Come on, baby, you’re doing so, so good

That’s right, keep on doing that, just like that

His deep voice whispered, grunted and moaned into your ear as you felt a familiar pressure forming in your abdomen. You were trying to keep your voice down, at minimal level, or else everyone residing on the same floor as you will know just how loud you are during sex. But he wasn’t helping at all, he wanted to hear you, and he was either muffling your moans with his full mouth kisses, or he is urging you to moan out loud.

After a couple of thrusts, praising and moans from him—you fell apart, with shaking legs and labored breathing, you reached your climax and he was still going in and out of you in a dangerously slow pace, riding out your orgasm, when his movement shifted and got too fast again, you knew he was chasing his own. You collapsed on top of him, the side of your face resting on his chest and you tried to recover, to grasp for air again, as he did the same. He assisted you and laid you down on the space beside him, you were about to clean up but he draped a blanket over you and snaked an arm right at your waist, it was a very comfortable feeling, a safe one even, despite of how he is just a stranger and you literally met each other a couple of hours ago.

He kissed one shoulder as he hug you from behind, “You did well tonight, darling. Sleep tight.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the first period. You were quick to put your things away and shove them into your bag, ignoring the mess it would make on the inside of your bag, you didn’t care anymore, you just suddenly had the strong will to escape from this embarrassment.

“Miss? The one from the back.” You heard him call out, turning to his direction, you tried to know or to confirm if he was talking to you. And he was. With a sly smile on his face, “I need you to sign some papers here—attendance, since you were late.”

You swallowed hard, but continued to walk over him anyway.

You got into the wooden table and picked up the paper he was handing down, but you were surprised because it wasn’t a list of the class, there wasn’t any name printed on the sheet. It was a scratch paper, with words written in pencil.

Don’t go out yet, stay. Wait for the others to leave.

Your gaze immediately shot back to him but he was looking at the other students, bidding them goodbyes with the most polite smile he could ever give.

So you waited, until the last student got out.

“You didn’t send a text.” He started, with a hint of disappointment on his face.

Your mouth fell open, not quite sure what he meant, “What?”

He moved closer and reached out for your right arm, lifting the sleeve and exposing the skin on it. The way his fingers gripped you and how his skin felt hot against you sent shivers, but you looked at your own arm and you noticed the small numbers written with a sharpie.

“Oh.”

He smirked, “I’m surprised it’s still there, thought it got washed away.” He picked up his book and re-arranged the his stuff, “I could still smell the sex off of you.” Then it was followed by a chuckle, as he head towards the front door, about to exit.

“Call me when you want it to happen again, I’m Sebastian, by the way.” Were his last words before completely exiting the room, leaving you breathless and wide-eyed.

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {3}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: Oh, the build up.

Comment to tell me what you think, or to be tagged! x

“What are the chances you’d ever meet someone like that? he wondered. Someone you could love forever, someone who would forever love you back? And what did you do when that person was born half a world away? The math seemed impossible.” ― Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

Feyre woke up with a pounding headache. It couldn’t have been too late, the sun was still rising. She groaned as she rolled over, searching for her phone, but finding nothing. When she sat up, and found herself in her black cotton bra and panties, her cheeks turned red. 

The events of the night before flooded her mind - with a few blank spots. 

She remembered Rhys being punched, remembered Tamlin being punched by Rhys, remembered getting pissed off, remembered dancing, remembered drinking…

A lot. 

After that, things grew hazy, but she vaguely remembered puking on Rhysand’s crotch. 

Rhysand.

After wrapping a blanket around her body, she stomped across the hall and threw open the door. Rhysand was sound asleep, his face in his pillow, a blanket wrapped around his waist.

The black winged tattoos on his back gleamed in the sunlight streaming in through the thin curtains. It started at the lowest point of his back and trailed up, curling up over his shoulders. 

She remembered when he was in high school. He had come a long way since being the lanky boy she met her freshman year. Now, his shoulders were broad, his arms thick, his tanned skin covered in black ink. 

Feyre, completely aware of the admiration she was giving his body, stormed to his bed and threw off his comforter. Gray sweatpants hung low on his hips. 

His head jerked up, his eyes still closed, his hair sticking up. “Fu-Wha..”

Those violet eyes fluttered open and caught sight of Feyre, blanket wrapped around her. “Good morning, asshole.”

He blinked, coming more to his senses. He rubbed at his eyes before propping himself on his elbows. “Would you like to elaborate?”

“Would you like to tell me why I woke up practically naked this morning?” she asked, voice rising. 

Rhysand raised a brow as he looked at her, exasperated. “You’re fucking welcome.” 

Feyre hesitated, and she knew he saw it, because he rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head, one knee drawn up. “You were a mess last night. Don’t you remember?”

“Some…” Feyre muttered, lifting up her chin. 

“Where should I start filling you in?” Rhysand said, grinning. Oh, he was loving this. “When you hung your head out of the window on the way home, telling the city how much you love tequila, or when you stuck your tongue down my throat?” 

A vision appeared in Feyre’s mind, her hands on his face, pulling him forward, her mouth against his.

Rhysand snorted, watching her expression. “Don’t worry. I broke it off quickly. Then, you puked all over the both of us, and all over the bathroom...so, apparently the kiss wasn’t all that great.” 

“You cleaned me up,” Feyre said, quietly, her eyes softening.

Rhysand’s grin had softened, too, as he tilted his head. “Of course I did. What kind of friend would I be if I let you go to bed, covered in puke?”

Feyre sat on the edge of his mattress and cursed, before falling back onto his bed. “Did I at least make it out of the bar before I started embarrassing myself?” 

Rhysand laughed. “Depends what you mean by embarrassing.”

She looked up at him. He was sitting up now, pushing his hair back. She could see the bruise, now black and blue, just below his eye. Tamlin hit him good.

And it was all her fault.

His grin faded as he watched the thoughts go through her head. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“And how do you know that’s what I’m thinking about?” she asked.

“Because I know you,” he said. “And because I can see where your eyes are directed.” 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Why?” he asked. “It’s not your fault he’s a prick.”

“I came here, with you,” she said. “And it didn’t make his suspicions lessen, that’s for sure. Now, he thinks you took me from him, and I assume last night will not be the only fight that breaks out because of it.”

Rhysand sighed, laying down on his stomach beside her. He looked down at her, eyes bright. “I don’t care about that, Feyre. All I care about is that you are away from him, out of that house, out of that relationship. You deserve better.”

He had always told her that, from the moment they started dating in high school. You shouldn’t be with Tam. You’re too good for him. He doesn’t treat you like you deserve to be treated. 

“You don’t deserve to be bombarded in a bar,” she said. 

Rhysand didn’t say anything else, but he watched her, and the gleam in his eyes made her remember that she was hardly wearing anything beneath the blanket she had burrito-ed herself in. 

“I’m going to go put on pants,” she said.

Rhysand’s grin returned. “Probably a good idea. Apparently, you can’t control yourself around me.”

“Fuck you,” Feyre laughed, pushing against his shoulder.

He didn’t waiver. He just watched her, and laughed, and ruffled her hair, which earned him a scowl in return. 

“Next time, you should knock,” he said, as she got up to leave his bedroom. “You have no idea what goes on in here at night.”

Feyre turned in the threshold, smiling wickedly. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caught you masturbating.” 

Rhysand’s eyes narrowed. “I was adjusting myself, for the last time! That was the year of overly-tight skinny jeans…”

“You can keep telling everybody that, but we all know the truth,” she winked, before going back across the hall and closing herself inside of her bedroom, ignoring Rhysand’s protests. 

She found a bottle of Advil in her nightstand and took a few before pulling on some leggings and a t-shirt. 

She still felt like shit, but Rhysand always had a knack for making her feel better, no matter her mood or the level of her hangover. When she walked into the kitchen, Rhysand was eating a bowl of cereal at their little table, his chest still bare. 

“Wanna go for a run this morning?” he asked, mouth full.

“I would literally rather do anything else,” Feyre muttered, pulling a Gatorade out of the fridge and walking to the couch, where she collapsed.

Rhysand’s phone chimed on the side table next to her.

“Mind telling me who that is?” he asked, voice hardly comprehensible. 

“If you stop talking with your mouth full,” she mumbled, reaching for his phone. 

The number was unknown, but the message had her tensing. 

Hey, Rhysand. My name is Clare. Your friend gave me your number last night. I was wondering if you wanted to go get a drink later?

Feyre read the message twice, and hesitated, then felt ridiculous for hesitating. Rhysand deserved to go out with a cute girl for a drink. Why wouldn’t he?

“Some girl,” she said. “Apparently Cassian was giving out your number again.”

“Hmm,” Rhysand said. His bowl and spoon clattered in the sink before he walked to the living room and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, pulling Feyre’s feet onto his lap. She handed him his phone, and he read the message before tossing it aside.

He turned on the t.v., as if nothing had happened. 

“Well?” Feyre asked, as Rhysand leaned back against the couch cushions. “Are you going to reply?”

Rhysand shrugged. “Maybe.”

“You should,” Feyre said, eyeing him. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Rhysand looked her way, brows raised. “Why do I feel like I’m being attacked?”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “I’m not attacking you, I just think it would be nice for you to go out. Meet someone.”

Rhysand snorted. “Yeah, well...we’ll see.” 

“You should go.”

“Maybe.”

“I’m serious.”

“We’ll see.”

“Rhys.”

“Feyre.”

He wouldn’t look at her. His smile was not reaching his eyes. Maybe she was being too pushy, but it had been a long time since Rhysand’s last relationship. He dated, hooked up from time to time, but even that had been few.  

Feyre opened her mouth to say something more, but their front door opened and Azriel appeared, little Mila in his arms. 

She saw Rhysand and beamed. “Rhysie!” 

Rhysand smiled, catching Mila once she ran to the couch and threw herself on top of him.

“Hi, Mila,” Feyre said, joyfully watching Rhysand kiss her cheek, and watching Mila wipe it off.

“Hi, Fey,” she said. “I’m glad you live with Rhysie now. It smells better in here.”

Feyre barked a laugh as Azriel slumped down in the armchair across from them.

He looked exhausted. 

“Rhys has a date tonight,” Feyre said, in hopes of distracting Azriel.

He lifted his brows, glancing at Rhysand. “Yeah? Who?”

Rhysand was staring at Feyre, eyes narrowed.

“Some girl from the bar last night,” Feyre said, since Rhysand certainly wasn’t going to, it seemed. “And he’s going.”

“No, I’m not,” he said. 

Azriel looked intrigued. He propped his chin on his fist. “And why wouldn’t you go?”

Rhysand tensed, looking at Azriel with his jaw locked. “Because I work tomorrow, dipshit.” 

“When?” Azriel implied. “Ten? You can’t go on a date tonight because you work at ten tomorrow morning? That’s not very early, Rhys.” 

Rhysand said nothing, but the look he was giving Azriel had Feyre glancing back and forth between the two of them. 

“Just saying,” Azriel muttered. 

“Me too,” Feyre added. 

“Fine,” Rhysand breathed. “If I go, will everyone stay out of my dating life?”

“Yah,” Mila said, making even Rhysand smile.

“Good,” Rhys laughed, tickling Mila’s tummy. “Thank you.”

~~~~~

Nesta and Elain sat at the diner their mother used to take them to when they were young. It was family-owned, a tiny little building on the corner of Main Street and Second Avenue. They had already been seated for five minutes, and neither of them had said a word. 

They didn’t have a lot in common. They hadn’t since they were children and, even then, they didn’t have a ton in common. But, at least back then, they played together, laughed together, kept each other company. 

Now, sitting through lunch was agonizing. 

“So, how’s work going?” Elain asked, at last.

Nesta looked up from her menu. “Well, I haven’t gotten fired yet, so that’s a perk. Other than that, it’s shit. Thanks for asking.”

Elain nodded. She still hadn’t touched her menu. 

“What about you? Started looking yet?” Nesta asked.

Elain hadn’t had a job since everything had gone down with Graysen, but now that she was living at home with their dad, Nesta assumed she had to find a job again somewhere, doing something.

“Not yet,” she replied, quietly. “But I will.” 

“Sure you will.” Nesta sighed, setting her menu down on the table. “Ready to order?”

Elain nodded. Nesta called over the waitress. She ordered a BLT and fries. Elain ordered a yogurt parfait, loaded with berries. 

“How’s Tomas?” Elain asked, once the waitress walked away.

“Great,” Nesta lied. She hadn’t seen him or talked to him since he left her ass at the nightclub. “He’s out with his brothers today.”

“Doing what?” 

Nesta shrugged, sipping her coffee. “How’s dear old dad?”

“He seems okay,” Elain said, fiddling with the zipper on her jacket. “Not very social. Spends most of his time in his office or at the park, feeding the birds and talking to some old man named Phil.” 

“Why Phil?” Nesta asked.

Elain shrugged. “He tells dad stories, I guess. Apparently he’s, like, ninety and has nothing better to do.”

“Neither does dad, apparently,” Nesta mumbled. 

“Yeah,” Elain agreed. “I think he’s lonely.” 

Nesta snorted. “Of course he is. Look how he’s spent the last decade, since mom died.”

Elain took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t speak of mom’s death like it’s nothing.”

Nesta tensed. “I’m not. I’m just saying, dad hasn’t really done a lot since then, has he?” 

Elain didn’t protest. Instead, she took a sip of her water before slowly setting her cup back down on the coaster. 

Nesta looked at her phone. No notifications. She supposed that would be the way it would be from now on, since Tomas was no longer in the picture. He was all that she’d had - a sad realization, not that it bothered her too much. Nesta preferred to be alone. 

“Dad misses you,” Elain said, suddenly, voice quiet. “He misses Feyre, too.”

“Maybe he should put a little more effort into his relationship with us, then,” Nesta snapped. “He hasn’t done much of that in almost ten years.”

“It’s not that he didn’t want to-”

“Damn it, Elain,” Nesta growled. Elain froze. “Stop defending him! He’s useless. He doesn’t deserve my sympathy, or yours.” 

“You should just-”

“I won’t do anything,” Nesta said, interrupting. “And you, Elain, should get a job and get your ass out of that house, or you’ll end up his babysitter like Feyre used to be.”

Elain kept quiet.

The waitress returned with their food, and the moment Nesta’s plate was in front of her, she started on her sandwich. Elain just stared at her plate.

“Eat, Elain,” Nesta whispered. “You need to eat.”

Elain did so, quietly and slowly.

Nesta felt a sudden pang of guilt settle in the pit of her stomach. Elain had gone through enough, and Nesta knew that. Her fiance had cheated on her, she was forced to move in with their useless father, and she had lost way too much weight. Nesta’s hostility wasn’t helping, as much as she meant every word that came out of her mouth. 

“Alright, look,” Nesta sighed, setting her sandwich down. “I’ll come over for dinner. Alright? Later this week.”

Elain perked up, just a little bit. She popped a strawberry into her mouth. “Bring Tomas, too? Dad wants to meet him.” 

Nesta just lifted her eyebrows and took another bite of her sandwich. 

The rest of lunch went okay. In fact, most things went okay when Nesta stayed quiet and only answered questions with one or two words. In one or two words, it was much harder to disappoint Elain. Not impossible, but much more difficult. 

When Nesta’s plate was clear, she paid for the bill, hugged Elain goodbye and promised she would be at dinner later in the week, before walking back to her apartment.

She didn’t have a car, not anymore. She had to sell it the year before to keep up with rent. Living in the city, there was always public transportation, so she decided, in the end, a car was not necessarily a necessity. 

She missed having a car, though, especially on days like today. The sun was shining brightly, the air was warm but not too warm. It was a perfect day to drive outside of the city with the music blaring, the windows down. 

But not for Nesta. Instead, she was walking down the sidewalk, pulling a cigarette and her lighter out of her jacket pocket. 

She had three hours before she had to be at work, and no fun way to pass the time. She had no money, no friends, and two cigarettes left. Drinking was an obvious no - showing up to work drunk never did anyone any good. And Nesta couldn’t lose her job. She could barely make ends meet as it was. 

By the time she made it back to her apartment, she was already exhausted, craving her bed. She unlocked the door and looked around. Complete silence. No sign of Tomas. He hadn’t called or texted since he left her at the night club, and it was looking like he wouldn’t. 

It was for the best, though. He was a nuisance. Even the sex, which had been good at first, had turned into more of an annoyance than anything else. In the end, every time his hands roamed her body, she grew nauseous. 

His stupid, little hands.

Just as she settled on her couch, a knock came on the front door. 

Nesta sighed. “Go away!”

They knocked again. 

“Fuck off!” she yelled, lighting her last cigarette. She should stop at the gas station on the way to work, would have to leave ten minutes early.

Another knock.

Nesta mumbled a long string of curses as she stomped to the door and threw open the door. Cassian stood there, wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, sweating profusely, as if he’d just gone for a run.

“What the fuck?” she breathed. “You’ve lived in this shithole for two days, hardly, and you can’t seem to leave me alone.” 

He held up an envelope. “Snuck into my mailbox. Addressed to you.” 

When she didn’t reach up to grab it, he dropped it at her feet, and turned to cross the hall to his own apartment. 

When he opened the door, a golden retriever jumped up on him. He greeted the pup with a smile and scratched its head before closing the door. 

Nesta hated herself for watching. 

~~~~~

Rhysand got out of the shower and dried off his hair, his body, before pulling on a pair of jeans. When he walked into the living room, Cassian and Feyre were playing candyland with Mila on the floor while Azriel was pacing on the phone out on the balcony. 

“Did he hear something new?” Rhysand asked, opening up a water bottle. 

Cassian looked from Azriel, to Mila, who was laughing with Feyre, then to Rhysand. “Talking with the police now. Before that, the hospital called.” Rhysand cursed. Azriel’s adopted sister had put him through hell, had put Mila through hell, had put everyone through hell. 

But it always fell on Azriel’s shoulders. His parents, who had adopted him in his early teens, didn’t want anything to do with any of them - not anymore. 

“I hear you’re going out on a date,” Cassian crooned, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Forced to,” Rhysand muttered. “Got to leave soon.”

“What shirt are you wearing?” Feyre asked, Mila pulled onto her lap. “Wear the blue one. Brings out your eyes.”

“Which blue one?” he asked, downing the water bottle and throwing it across the room in the trash. “I have a closet full of blue shirts.”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Make Cassian suffer while I’m gone,” Feyre told Mila, before setting her on the floor next to the game board. “You,” she said, pointing at Rhysand. “Follow me.”

Rhysand groaned as he followed Feyre into his bedroom. She was already sorting through his closet. 

“You really need to start branching out,” Feyre said, chuckling. “Everything in here looks the same. And most of it can’t be worn on a date. To the gym? Yes. On a date? No. What the hell do you find to wear to work?”

He looked down at the jeans he was wearing as he sat on the edge of his bed. “You’re looking at it.”

Feyre pulled a blue, plaid button down shirt out and yanked it off the hanger. “Put this on.”

Rhysand didn’t move as the shirt hit him in the chest. “You seem awfully pushy.” 

“I should be pushy,” she said, smiling at him as he stood and pulled the shirt on. “You deserve to have fun. You can’t just ignore women forever because I’m living with you now.” 

Rhysand hesitated, then he nodded. 

He buttoned up the shirt and pushed his sleeves up. “Alright. Good?” 

Feyre tilted her head and took him in. “The bare feet are throwing me off.” 

Rhysand chuckled. His eyes softened as he watched her, leaning up against his wall in an oversized sweatshirt. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay in tonight? I can. I don’t-”

“Rhys,” she said, arms crossed. “Go. But text me first, please, if you bring her back. That’s the last thing I wanna walk in on.”

Rhysand wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t be bringing her back, but he hesitated. One, because it would’ve brought suspicion, and two, because he really couldn’t make that promise as much was he wanted to.

The reality of it was that Rhysand hadn’t been on a date in years. It had been a while since he’d had anything and, yes, a lot of that was because of Feyre. Hell, all of that was because of Feyre. But, she didn’t want him like that, shouldn’t want him like that. Not after just getting out of a long, shitty relationship.

Not after being friends, great friends, just friends, for over ten years.

“Alright,” he settled on, at last. He pulled a brown pair of boots out of the bottom of his closet and pulled them on. “Bare feet gone. Now?”

She looked at him, chuckled, then walked toward him, slowly. She pushed his hair back and patted him on the cheek. “Very handsome.”

“I know,” Rhysand whispered, but there wasn’t quite enough snark in it as he wanted there to be. 

Rhysand went out. He met Clare at the bar. They ate, and talked, and drank, and laughed, and it was fun. Rhysand found that he was enjoying himself, which far preceded his earlier notions. Even so, he couldn’t help but wonder what Feyre was doing.

Then he thought himself creepy.

They had separate lives. They were roommates. Friends.

“Rhysand?”

He blinked, coming out of his thoughts. Clare was watching him with wide, pleading eyes from across the table. 

“Sorry,” he smiled. He had already paid, and Clare had already shrugged on her jacket. “Ready?”

She nodded, smiling brightly. Clare was cute, in the obvious way. But it was all surface level beauty. She was a sweet girl, but there was no depth. They’d have nice conversation, fun conversation, but it was all small talk. He knew what she did for fun, that she liked her job, that summer was her favorite season. And he supposed that was what first dates were for - getting all the little facts out of the way. Maybe he was just over first dates. Maybe he just wanted something more. 

Rhysand took Clare home, telling her to ignore another round of public transportation, and she invited him in, but he said no. He’d told her he’d had a good time and he would call her again, sometime, and maybe he would. 

Then he drove home, and when he opened the door to their apartment, Feyre was sound asleep on the couch, a movie playing softly in the background. He turned off the t.v. and covered her with a blanket before closing himself inside of his room.

Alone.

~~~~~

Elain wanted to sleep, but she couldn’t, once again.

Maybe she should stop taking the pills.

She couldn’t stop taking the pills. 

She sat in her bed, scrolling through job posts on her laptop. At first, she had been inspired. Nesta was right that morning at their lunch. She needed a job, needed to make a life for herself, needing to get out of their dad’s house.

She was too old to be living with their father, to be relying on a man that couldn’t even take care of himself. 

And yet, the longest she scrolled through the listings, the more depressed she felt. 

She was qualified for nothing.

Elain had been valedictorian of her high school class, had gone to university with honors and held the top of her class, all four years, until she graduated. She was smart, had been smart. School had been easy for her, but it did not prepare her for the real world, one bit. Even with a degree in journalism. 

A degree that never got her anywhere.

She went back to working in retail after college, until she met Graysen and fell in love with him. Along with his father, he was co-owner of their family business. For a guy in his late-twenties, he was very well off. Elain still worked, but not nearly as much, and once Elain had caught him cheating, she stopped going to work as she spiraled.

They fired her.

She hadn’t had a job in the months since. 

But now, it was time. 

The last thing she wanted to do was go back into retail, but with a degree in journalism and no jobs in that field, it wasn’t looking like she had that much of a choice. 

Multiple boutiques were hiring on the strip downtown, a department store was hiring in the mall, and she could also apply for a job in the food industry, but being around food all day was the last thing that she wanted. 

Retail it would be, then. 

She applied to a few places with her extraordinarily sad resume before calling it a night.

A strong, summer wind blew outside of her window, howling in the silence of her bedroom, as Elain closed her laptop and fell back against her pillows.

She supposed she should at least try to sleep. 

Azriel would be arriving in the morning to start on their garage. 

It wouldn’t do her any good to wake up looking like a zombie.

But the sleep never came, and she laid awake staring at the ceiling until dawn came. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

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Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

summer sizzle | cheater, sammy guevara

[ prompts used ] 

Cheating + Risky Sex - no condom + Guilt - there is none + Say My Name + From Behind + heavy emphasis on hands / touching - all prompts come from lists that I’ve had bookmarked/saved for a long time now. I need to link to them and i plan to at some point. Scenario and original character used belong to me. 

[ warnings ]

18+ only. All children get outside and play or something... other warnings include asshole cheating boyfriend Hager, mutual cheating, mentions and hints of emotional cheating on the OC’s part, unprotected sex, body fluids, Sammy not being a fuck boy for once. alcohol cw also because the oc is a little tipsy in the beginning.

[ tag squad ]

@kyleoreillysknee​

@rampagewriting​

@writertoo18​

@thatnerdwriter​

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@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif​

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@unabashedwrestlefics​ 

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[ taglist - about - masterlist ] 

                                    CHEATER;

I sighed as I glanced down at my cell phone, slipping it off the surface of the bar and into my jacket pocket. My eyes darted around, again finding zero sign of him in the crowd anywhere. The thought of what he was most likely out doing was enough to make me heavily wonder why I bothered sticking around.

It was more than painfully obvious to Hager that I was nothing more than pussy whenever he wanted it. There weren’t any actual feelings between us anymore and whatever remained was just two people beyond terrified of letting go.

,, if he’s out doing it, why not have a few drinks and let your bad side out to play?” the intrusive thought came, even as I tried to brush it out of my head. Bothered by just how hard it was to brush out and ignore this time, I signalled the bartender for another round or three and after downing them all in the span of a minute or two, I wiped my hand over the back of my mouth and turned on my stool, brown eyes darting around the crowded bar.

The bitter laugh came as soon as I heard my cell phone ringing, notifying me to an incoming text. When I pulled out my phone, it was exactly what I figured was going to happen.

Another flimsy excuse from Jake.

→ not gonna make it, darlin.

→ it’s probably gonna be a late one.

I took a deep breath and held my tongue. I think by this point, I’d already decided the fate of our relationship. I was at the point of no return. One hundred percent done. There was literally nothing he could say or do to fix this. Because even if he wasn’t screwing around, which I was at least 85 percent sure that he was -all the signs pointed to it, the fact remained.

He was neglecting me.

And I deserve more, damn it. Better.

Making up my mind, I decided to text back.

← It’s fine, I wasn’t waiting around anyway.

← Went out with some friends who came in tonight. Don’t wait up for me!

And so it began. I called for the bartender and ordered myself a bottle of tequila. Popping the cork, I leaned my back against the edge of the bar and took a big sip, wincing at the burn and just the way it mixed with the lighter shots I’d been doing for about twenty minutes by this point. 

I sipped slower after that, eyes roaming the bar as I debated on whether to leave or stick around. I was actually intending to leave when I stumbled right into someone’s chest, tequila sloshing out of the bottle in my hand followed by me, giggling as I tore my eyes off of my phone screen and looked up at the person I’d collided with.

Under the intent and concerned gaze I was getting, I felt… Hot. Bothered. Flustered. I put the cell phone away quickly, the text I’d been writing out to Jake going to a draft. Once I’d done that, I giggled a little. I could feel the alcohol starting to really kick in, making my ears all warm. 

I hadn’t really drank like this in a while. Jake tended to get bitchy if I even had one or two without him present. And drinking alone with his friends from work or mine?

Forbidden. Lest I wanted to hear him bitching for hours on end after the fact.

I hadn’t expected to run into anyone else that Jake worked with tonight. Let alone the one guy I found myself sort of staring at quite often. One of his friends, actually. 

,,naturally, i thought to myself, it’s the one I’m most drawn to. The one who treats me more like I’m special than my own goddamn man does currently… Is this a sign or something?” 

Sammy Guevara towered over me and I gulped as my eyes moved from his down to his lips, where they chose to linger. His brow raised, both knitting together in concern. He tore his eyes away, letting them dart around the crowd.

I could feel the tension in his body in the way his hands splayed over my arms gently, keeping me steady. 

“Hager’s not here, mi sol?” Sammy questioned as he glanced around again almost as if he were desperately looking for Jake to pop up at any second. He fixed his gaze back on me, waiting patiently on my answer.

My knees may or may not have turned to jello when he said it. I rolled my eyes and waved a hand dismissively. “Nope.”

“That son of a…” Sammy grumbled to himself, shaking his head. His arm slipped around me and he chuckled quietly when my instinct was to curl myself into his side. The tension was leaving his body a little now, I could feel him relax just a bit. He chuckled again quietly and one look up and into his eyes had me biting my lip. Fidgeting a little bit at his side.

I got the distinct feeling that he knew something I didn’t. Wisely, I chose not to question.

I didn’t want to feel or think. I just wanted to let go. 

Be numb.

To finally let free that one last flying fuck I gave about Jake Hager. At the time, it didn’t register with me the magnitude of what I was even doing. But honestly?

Even if it had, I don’t think I’d have chosen to put a stop to it.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do, mi sol.” Sammy was stopping our walk, pulling me against him because a crowd of people made their way through the doors leading into the bar. His hands caught on either side of my face, caressing. His forehead met mine softly and he took a deep breath. “We’re gonna get out of here. Away from the hotel for a little while. You’re okay with that, right, mi sol?”

I nodded without even stopping to spare it a seconds thought.

Sammy didn’t seem determined to think much either, because the next thing I knew, he was scooping me up into his arms, laughing when the heels I’d been wearing fell to the floor of the hotel lobby with a soft thud. He bent to pick them up and I laid my face against the space between his neck and shoulders.  “You good, mi sol?”

“Better now.” I practically purred, letting out a dramatic sigh. The scent of his cologne filled my nose, pushing any thoughts or doubts I might have been trying to have directly to the back of my mind where they were promptly buried as deep as I could shove them.

He chuckled again quietly, muttering something to himself that I didn’t quite catch as he pushed open the doors to the hotel lobby, stepping out into the night air. I shivered lightly and he stopped, letting me down onto my own two feet. He shrugged off the jacket he was wearing, draping it around me.

I hugged it against me and he was picking me up again, my legs circling his waist, my face pressed against his. My tongue slipped between my lips in an attempt to lick my lips and brushed against the outline of his mouth, earning me a quiet and needy whimper from him. 

He stopped walking and for a second or two that felt like hours passed, we stared at one another, neither of us saying a word. 

One of us had to cave in first and honestly, I couldn’t keep fighting the pull. My hand caught in the hair at the back of his head and I pulled his mouth completely against my own, my body molding against his. His hands squeezed my skin and he growled quietly into the kiss, his tongue sliding between my lips, tangling with mine as he muttered breathlessly, “You have no idea how much I want you all to myself, mi sol.” 

“Hm?” I muttered back, the kiss breaking as we both pulled away but only a little. Staring at each other wild-eyed as we worked on catching our breath. We’d made it to his car in the parking lot and he sat me on top of the hood, stepping between my legs, leaning into me as his mouth crashed against mine all over again.

My lips parted willingly and I wrapped my legs around his waist, dragging my fingers through his hair. His hand raised, catching hold of the side of my cheek, caressing softly as his forehead found mine all over again.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know it, mi sol.” Sammy took a few shaky breaths as he mumbled the words against my lips, “I couldn’t really hide it too good. I tried…”

And suddenly, the near fist fight that he and Jake almost had before All Out made perfect sense. As did Jake’s constantly bitching about me and Sammy even talking to each other for longer than a second or two when he wasn’t present.

I rubbed against him a little and his fingertips dug into my bare thighs just a bit more, squeezing as he scooped me closer towards him. My fingertips settled on the front of his tee shirt, clutching light. “Oh. Oh.” I breathed against his mouth right as it started to conquer mine all over again and his hand slipped up the short hem of my favorite little black tank dress, moving slow over the drenched insides of my thighs. He gasped and growled quietly, his eyes fluttering open and closed, meeting my intent gaze when they opened.

It was kind of shocking right now, I had so much I’d been tempted to say to him in the not so distant past and now that we were here… in this moment… it all fleeted straight out of my brain. All I knew was that I wanted to give in. I wanted to see if what I’d been feeling, this pull to him was just me, trying to find any excuse to end things with Jake without having to actually say the words and deal with the fallout.

Or if it was something much more.

Because I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t this undercurrent of tension between Sammy and I that I picked right up on. All the little looks and the inside jokes. The one selfie he dragged me into that really pissed Jake off and set the whole almost fist fight into motion.

Parts of me never really read much into it because I assumed that at his core, Sammy Guevara was a fuck boy. 

,, Just like Jake.” my mind taunted, but it didn’t stop me from lightly gripping his chin and guiding his mouth right back against mine. Or ghosting my lips down the side of his neck, right over the throbbing pulse there. Or breathing in his cologne and letting another sigh of content fall from my lips as my head fell back and I gave a soft giggle and took a few long deep breaths. 

“I don’t do this a lot.” the words passed my lips in a whimper as Sammy’s mouth dragged down the front of my throat, alternating little soft licks with gentle bites. I placed a hand palm down against his chest and looked him directly in the eye, waiting. He bit his lip and nodded, leaning in, gripping my chin and guiding my face close to his all over again. “You really don’t have a clue about me and how serious I am right now, do ya, mi sol?” he whispered into my lips as his crushed against them and locked around my lower one, sucking until I felt the soft ache.

I thought about it… I hadn’t really seen Sammy show much interest in anyone who hit on him or that I’d normally assume that he’d throw himself at since I came on the road with the guys. And Sammy had ditched a sure thing a few nights ago just to make sure I got back to the hotel okay when Jake pulled this shit for the second time in two nights…

What he was hinting at sank in and I swallowed hard, our eyes locking on each other. The hand that had wandered up the bottom of my dress came to a stop palm down against my soaked panties and he growled and rocked me against him as he gave my cunt a squeeze and his teeth caught on my bottom lip, tugging as his tongue slipped right past. 

“You wanna get outta here, mi sol?” he purred as the kiss broke and his forehead met mine yet again. He gazed into my eyes and I found myself getting lost in his. It hit me just how easy that was and with a giggle, I nodded. “Please?”

“I got you, baby girl. I know the perfect place.” the flat of his hand pressed against my throbbing pussy all over again and I moaned against the shell of his ear a mildly suggestive “Take me.” while rocking myself against his hand a time or two.

“Careful what you ask for, mi sol. Because if I take you, I’m not giving you back.” he mumbled against my mouth, a quiet groan coming as his hand bore down on my cunt, squeezing a little harder and he felt how wet I was already. “Fuck.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” the teasing tone to my voice had me thrown for a loop for a second or two, but I was too caught up and didn’t care to stop or censor myself anymore.

Jake made his bed, let him lay in that.

I would be lying in Sammy’s bed tonight.

“Fuck. ah!.” I gasped and bit my lip as I felt Sammy’s fingers slip between soaked fabric and brush right up against my folds, pausing to moan quietly, “ Sammy, feels so good.”

“I’m glad, mi sol.” Sammy’s eyes met mine and a smirk formed as he licked his lips. The look in his eyes was soft. Tender. He pulled me against him and muttered quietly against the shell of my ear, “You deserve to feel good, baby girl.”

I shrugged, looping my arms around his neck and leaning into him, my forehead resting right against a firm chest. He raised the hand on my hip and tucked his fingers beneath my chin, making me meet his gaze. “Jake’s a goddamn idiot. I mean that.”

I bit my lip, nodding. Truth is, I wanted to believe all this but I was also looking at things from the perspective of me, knowing everything I know. And knowing that I’m nothing special when it all boils down. At least not to the one person I should be special to. I haven’t been special to Jake in almost two years and I think I knew it all along but I was just too afraid to turn my back and close the door on the past.

,, you’re still too good for settling with Jake fucking Hager and the shit way he treats you.” the thought crept into my mind, lingering. Making what was going on between Sammy and I even more tempting than it already was, as if I needed a reason or an excuse.

“True.” I sighed, blowing at a strand of hair as it fell into my eyes. Sammy’s hand raised, brushing the strands out of my eyes to tuck behind my ear and he cupped my cheek, pulling my mouth against his all over again. Our bodies brushing, rubbing, the feel of muscle against my softness was almost overload for me. 

“Lemme get you out of here, mi sol.” His breath was warm against my ear as he muttered the words, his lips latching onto my neck as they danced down the side of it. He was trying to be careful, trying not to leave marks but honestly, I’d already made up my mind.

I wasn’t hiding this from Jake.

I wanted the outcome, the fallout, the shouting match and finally, the end of things between us. I couldn’t take the way things were anymore.

He unlocked the car and scooped me off the hood, putting me into the passenger seat. As he went to shut the door, I gripped his shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. Long fingers danced right up the insides of my thighs all over again and his teeth tugged at my lip, needier as he laughed quietly. “Baby girl… I have to drive. But it’s not really far, okay?”

I nodded, swallowing hard as the kiss broke and pouting a little as his hand pulled out from between my thighs and he hurried around to the driver side of his car. I squirmed in the seat. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, but I pulled out my cell phone. I guess parts of me were just… Hoping for a sign either way. Because deep down, I knew what I was about to do didn’t make me any better than Jake.

As I checked my text messages prior to powering my phone down for the night, I got my sign in the lack of an answer and the fact that his last check in somewhere showed that he was actually up in our hotel room. And from the looks of it, he wasn’t alone, either.

Sammy cleared his throat and reached over the console, prying the phone from my hands. When he saw what Jake had just posted, he dragged a hand over the back of his head, going quiet on me for a few minutes.

“Ya know, it really pisses me off. The fact that he’s got you… and pulls this shit.” his jaw set firm and I sighed, reaching for my phone back.

“It’s not a big deal.” I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me even though every part of me was seething. If I hadn’t been 100 percent sure I was going through with tonight and telling Jake about it immediately after the fact, I was now. 

It was beyond past time for him to hurt like I hurt. To realize that I pushed everything about myself he wanted changed down and buried it for him but that was not happening anymore.

“He treats you like shit, mi sol. Fuck yes, it’s a big deal. It’s a huge deal.” Sammy was getting fired up. I bit my lip, going quiet. I’d been through enough arguments with Jake. I was half afraid that I’d end up in one with Sammy, but then it hit me.

He was angry on my behalf. Not at me like Jake usually was. There was a difference. I just hadn’t been with anybody else in so long that I’d grown used to it. “What if we..” he trailed off, chuckling to himself. This little smirk that I’ve noticed he tends to get when he’s angry and plotting revenge.

His hand caressed my thigh as we switched from one lane to another and merged with traffic. The lights of town were getting further behind us and more than anything, I was curious. 

“No, what. What were you going to say, Sammy?”

“It’s dumb… Unless.” Sammy got that gleam in his eye as he glanced over when we came to a stop at a red light. His hand was squeezing my thigh gently and I bit my lip, squirming as I got even wetter.

“Yeah?” I breathed out the word, my breath catching in my throat as I waited on him to answer.

“We make a post of our own. I mean, if he’s going to put it all out there like he did… Seems fair, yeah?” his thumb rolled over my skin and I whimpered a little, thinking it over. Not that I needed too much encouragement. Just knowing that he had the audacity to check in while he was off doing whomever… And all the other things he’s done to me the past two years.

I couldn’t sit on the hurt and the resentment anymore. And honestly, I wanted all this over with. I didn’t want to have to bother hiding anything from him, either. Because that’s not the kind of person I was.

He must have picked up on my internal struggle because he pulled into a parking lot and killed the engine to the sports car. He was leaning across the console, fingertips caressing my chin, pulling my mouth against his greedily. “We don’t have to if it’s upsetting. I just know that I’m doing somethin’ about the way he’s been treating you. Either way. He is not getting away with it, mi sol. I promise you that.” 

“Oh, I want to.” I answered quietly, taking a deep breath, letting my tongue trail the outline of his lips. “Le’s do this.”

That smirk grew just a little and he pulled me partially over the console, his mouth crashing against mine hungrily as his hand roamed back up the bottom of my dress and settled palm flat against my dripping cunt, rubbing and squeezing. His teeth caught my lips, tugging until I could feel them beginning to ache. The heavy breathing and soft panting lingered in the air until it was swallowed by deeper hungry kisses and his hand rubbed against my aching cunt lazily all while he muttered softly spoken words of reassurance against my lips. Telling me that this didn’t have to go far at all and that all I had to do was tell him to stop. All I had to do was even hint that I changed my mind.

“Sammy.” I pulled back, taking a few shaky breaths as I licked swollen lips and rocked myself against his hand. I reached over the console, my hand ghosting over the way his cock strained and twitched at a pair of dark blue jeans.

“Yeah, mi sol?” his voice was huskier and he licked his lips as he met my gaze. As my hand worked over the way he strained at his jeans, his breath caught in his throat and he bit his lip, bucking himself up and against my hand, a quiet growl shattering the air between us.

“I don’t want to stop. I want you. And I wanna put all of this behind me. I don’t wanna think about anything but tonight.” I was leaning in all over again, clumsily trying to cross the barrier of the console between us to sit in his lap. The top of my head whacked the ceiling of the small car and I winced. Sammy winced too, catching hold of my face and pulling my head down, burying his lips and nose in the crown of my hair as he chuckled softly. “You’re okay, right?”

“I’m fine. I barely made contact.” I looked up at him, taking a deep breath, licking my lips and swallowing hard when I saw the way lust burned at deep brown eyes. His hands were resting at either side of my hips now, rocking me back and forth over his lap. He took a few shaky breaths and one more time, he repeated what he’d been asking me for the better part of twenty minutes now.

“You’re sure… about this.. With us.” the question came accompanied by urgent and frantic touching, kissing me until I felt myself starting to get dizzy and almost couldn’t think straight.

“Sammy, I can’t fight this anymore, okay? Please don’t make me. I just want you.”

He smirked even more, gripping hold of my chin with his fingers, tugging my mouth back against his. 

He bucked into me from below, practically growing against the deepening kisses, as he breathed against my lips, “I don’t think we’re gonna make it to where I was taking you, mi sol. Want you so fuckin bad right now.” while bucking against me over and over. 

I rocked myself right back against him and muttered softly as my lips danced down the side of his neck, I lowered my hand between us, slipping it beneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips dancing a line over his abdomen, just above the waistband of his jeans. I whimpered, almost needy.

Okay, not almost. Beyond needy.

I hadn’t been touched or kissed - even held,  like he was touching and kissing and holding me right now in so long that it was a rush. Too much and somehow, not enough at the same time. My fingers caught in the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, letting it settle on the backseat. His mouth dove down, connecting with my neck, his teeth tugging at skin, determined to leave marks all over me.

“What do you say we see Hager’s check in with the side chick and raise him?” Sammy muttered the question lazily against the shell of my ear and I bucked myself against his lap, nearly hitting the steering wheel with my back when he leaned into me, conquering my mouth with another round of needy and biting breathless kisses.

One hand went up the bottom of my dress, shoving it up higher over my thighs and his other hand reached out, fumbling for his cell phone sitting in the cupholder while deepening the kiss and bucking himself into me from below over and over again, his breath coming in soft gasps on the heels of quiet growls that were swallowed up by our desperately clashing mouths.

We pulled away to breathe and Sammy raised the back camera of the phone, moving it until he found an angle that got us both in the picture clearly and hid the fact that by now, my dress was almost up to my hips. I raised a hand, dragging his mouth back against my own and the brightness of the flash filled the semi darkened interior of the small car, making us bump faces as the kiss broke and we pulled away, rubbing our eyes.

I watched while pressed against him as he set the photo up to post on his most active platform and just before he hit post, I grabbed the phone from him. He bit his lip, eyeing me anxiously. “You’re changing your mind, mi sol?”

“On the contrary. You can’t just post this with no context.” I may or may not have been fully caught up in the grips of everything I’d realized thus far. I may or may not have taken his phone and added the caption “When she’s lonely, she comes to me.” beneath the photo.

Because why not rub salt in an already open wound and get it over and done with?

I handed it back and Sammy pulled me into a laughing and tender kiss as he muttered lazily into it, “Mi sol, you’re evil. It’s kind of fucking hot.”

I shrugged and rested a hand at the back of his neck, rocking myself back and forth over the bulge strained at his jeans. His hands slipped up my thighs, fingers hooking beneath the thin strap of my underwear. The silent tear had me whimpering and Sammy licked his lips as he tossed them into the backseat of the car with his shirt. My fingers caught in the button of his jeans and I tugged button free eagerly.

There was no turning back for me now.

I wouldn’t, even if there were. I was done with only being worth 12 percent of someone’s attention. I was done fighting the growing pull I’d been feeling towards Sammy since we met.

Jake Hager?

I didn’t fucking know him anymore.

Next came the zipper to Sammy’s jeans and I teased a little, fingertips lingering on the pull for a second or two. Just long enough for Sammy to groan and give me that pleading look. His hand moved up the inside of my thigh, fingers working me open and a quiet growl shattering the heaviness of anticipation in the air as soon as he worked two fingers into my cunt and realized exactly how wet I already was. “Fuck. Mi sol. Fuck.” he drawled in ragged breaths, squirming out of his jeans and boxers. They settled at his ankles and he fucked into me deeper with his fingers. My head fell back and I rocked against his fingers as fast as I could, desperate for the stop and start, the will they or won’t they that had been heavy around us for so long now to just be over. For Sammy to take me. To make me forget all of it, put it all out of my mind like a bad memory.

Even if only for tonight.

His thumb settled against my clit, pressing down and rubbing and I whimpered, my head falling back as my eyes fluttered. His fingers fucked into me faster, the slippery wet sounds with each thrust made into my cunt making me moan for him just a little louder, the sound echoing through the inside of the car.

“I bet you taste so sweet, mi sol. And next time, baby girl… I’m going to find out.” his tone was almost apologetic as he buried his mouth on a patch of skin just above the neckline of the little dress I was wearing, his teeth digging against my skin, leaving probably the biggest mark behind yet. Just hearing him hint at a next time had my heart fluttering a little.

My orgasm was building faster. The throbbing ache in my pussy was doubling each second and I shattered the quiet sounds of the creaking seat and our heavy breathing and heated kisses when I moaned his name out loud, unable to keep myself from it. This bought a smirk to his mouth.

“Say my name, mi sol. Say it as loud as you want.” it only seemed to encourage him, his fingers twisting and scissoring, thrusting deeper and deeper into my cunt, a growl every single time he felt my insides clench tighter around them. “Fuck.” he bucked himself against me, his cock grazing against my ass and making me whimper and beg.

“Sammy, please.” I whined, rocking myself against his fingers faster, trying to get any form of friction or release I could. I wanted him buried inside me. Now.

“Please what, mi sol?” his fingers slipped out of my cunt and his hand raised, those two sticky wet fingers disappearing between his lips as he groaned and bucked himself against me all over again, waiting on an answer. I whimpered as I watched his fingers slip into his mouth and heard the lewd and quiet groan that came next. Rocking my throbbing cunt against his bare cock, I leaned in, muttering against the shell of his ear quietly, “I want you to fuck me. Make me forget it all.”

He chuckled and his hands slipped down my body, settling on my hips. He raised me up and lowered me down onto his cock, burying himself balls deep inside me. I whimpered and nipped at his neck and shoulder. He reached down, letting the seat back, pushing it further away from the steering wheel. 

The way he stretched and filled me was enough to make me gasp and moan, bouncing up and down on his cock as soon as he got the seat settled back. His hands went straight to my tits, gripping and squeezing, pumping into me from below as he groaned and pleaded with me to go faster when I slowed down a little and leaned in, capturing his mouth in a slow and gentle kiss, mostly just to keep myself from going over the edge like I wanted to more than anything.

His hands moved over my body, settling on my ass and he started to slam me up and down on his cock, leaning up, the new angle causing him to strike against my spot and sending a shiver racing through my body. His fingers dug into both sides of my ass and he sank his teeth into the top of my breast as he rose to sit slightly. Our noses bumped and we both laughed. His mouth fixed against mine, teeth catching on my bottom lip and tugging as he muttered a calm “Mental note. Next time ask for the Range Rover. More room.” and made me giggle into the kiss.

“I haven’t fucked in a car in so long I forgot just how complicated it is.” I breathed into his lips as they worked against mine, latching and sucking until I could feel my lips swelling on impact. 

One of his hands left my ass and rose to my hair, pulling it free from the way I’d had it fixed earlier, his hand catching in the back of it, tugging my mouth into his even deeper as he continued to pump me up and down on his cock, harder and deeper. Our bodies smacked together frantically, my hips stammering as I felt my orgasm threatening to shatter through and take control.

“It’s kind of hot that at any second, anybody could catch us.” he mused against the shell of my ear as he tugged at my earlobe with his teeth. My body tensed and I moaned louder and louder with each frantic and deep dive into my pussy he made. 

“Fuck, mi sol, you’re so fuckin wet, I..” he groaned against my neck as his mouth ghosted over it, “I can hardly stay in. Bet he never made you this wet, huh?”

“Not even close, actually.” I was surprised at myself for admitting it out loud, but now that I had, it really did paint a picture of just how much in my relationship with Jake had been seriously lacking.

“I’m so close. So fucking close.” Sammy grunted against my skin as his thrusts got more erratic and he tried to slow down. I rocked my hips against his thrusts, trying desperately to meet them. 

My orgasm shattered through and when he tried to slow down even more, I gripped his chin and pulled his mouth against mine, my tongue slipping past his lips to caress his tongue as I muttered “Don’t stop. Don’t you dare.”

“Wanna feel you, mi sol. C’mon. Give me all of it.” Sammy groaned into the kiss as my pussy vised his cock and he started to pump me up and down on his thick cock with more urgency, the kiss breaking so that he could trail little kisses and lazy kitten licks and love bites against my neck and the tops of my breasts. Places I couldn’t cover.

Not that I was going to bother trying.

My juices soaked his cock and he groaned, his head falling back as his breath caught in his throat. I could feel his cock throbbing and it only made me bounce on his cock faster, desperate to feel him filling me up. 

“Sammy, fuck.. C’mon.” I begged and it only made him fuck into me deeper and slower, fucking me through the remainder of my own orgasm and straight into his own, his cock throbbing and emptying inside as my nails dug at his shoulder and into his chest and I left a mark of my own on the side of his neck.

I went limp against him, catching my breath as he continued to slowly fuck into me from below until he just couldn’t anymore and then he was pulling me close, pulling me into a lazy and gentle kiss that I returned happily.

“We should probably get outta here.” he muttered after a few minutes of cuddling me against him and reluctantly, I agreed, reaching into the backseat to grab his tee shirt.

--

← If you’re with Guevara tonight don’t bother coming back to our room.

← I fucking knew something was going on between you.

← Goddamn it, Ariel, answer the phone. Now!

← I know I haven’t been the best lately, darlin….

← and that girl you saw earlier didn’t mean anything, I swear.

I instantly regretted the decision to power on my phone. Scowling, I rolled over in Sammy’s bed and slipped my legs between his. He reached out, prying the phone from my hands as he pressed a lazy and yawn-filled kiss against my nose. He sat up and I sat up, pressing myself against his back to peer over his shoulder. I watched as he took over and responded to Jake’s frantic and angry texts from the night before.

→ hey, it’s me, ya boy.

→ fuck off. Ariel’s with me, man. As in, with me.

→ ain’t been the best? Are you hearin yourself, you cornbread head ass?

→ i tried to keep my feelings out of this, man. But I’m not anymore.

→ none of them ever mean anything to you Jake. But as far as Ariel is concerned, that’s over.

→ gonna say it louder for you because I know how ignorant you are. She’s mine now.

After he finished, he tossed the phone at the bed and settled back down into it, pulling me partially on top of him as he wrapped his arms back around me.

“You’re not worried about what’s going to happen?” I asked the question, feeling myself tense up because I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel if I didn’t like his answer. 

“Honestly, no. Hager’s a bitch. And when I want something, I tend to fight for it, mi sol.” he raised a hand to smooth hair back behind my ear and rose up slightly, his mouth meeting mine again.

I deepened the kiss and yawned lazily, making him chuckle. “I meant everything I said to you last night and to him in the texts just now, okay? Things are gonna be different.”

“I hope so.”

[neoniverse]

heal me. | chapter II

disclaimer: this series is a work of fiction. any businesses, events or incidents are products of my wide imagination. all of the character’s personality does not reflect and has nothing to do in real life.

warnings: smut, angst, usage of strong language, mentions of death, alcohol & drugs, cheating issues and lots of flashbacks (read each chapter carefully)

pairings: jung jaehyun x reader

a/n: unedited ;)

« CHAPTER I / CHAPTER III »

“Hey, you still there?”

“Who’s this?”

The other line silenced—a brief pause. I’m certain it’s not him.

“Jaehyun.” I froze in my spot. Holy crap.

“And what’s the bouquet for, Mr. Jung?” I don’t even recognize my own voice, I’m agitated, again.

“I just wanted to express my gratitude.” His voice is so low, I can feel the depths of it pulling me. He sounds so cozy—alluring, to be honest. My breathing is slowing, almost hitching. I’m abruptly aware Johnny is staring at me, brows furrowed, I dart to my swivel chair and turned it around.

“It’s not like I did something honorable.” Stay calm, Y/N. Breathe.

“Hmm. Well, fortunately, I’m certain you did.”

“Thank you for the roses, Mr. Jung.” I’m all trepidatious—my traitor heart is abnormally beating.

“The pleasure’s all mine.” Oh hell, I can visualize the enticing gleam in his dark brown eyes. How can he make such four words titillate? He hang up. I turned around again, phone in the chest and eyes closed.

“I’m assuming there’s a comeback, yes?”

“Words, Johnny.” I snap. He laughed as if I just told him a funny joke.

But me and Jaehyun again? To hell with that. My feelings are too fragile, that being with him could even crush my heart into thousands of pieces. That’s how fragile my whole system is. I will never forget the day he chose to cheat on me.

Loving someone is so shallow that it could bring pain because you have to sacrifice something, but it doesn’t have to be always painful. You should also learn how to love yourself.

When I left him, I thought things will go better. I looked desperate, finding for solace to everyone’s arms after I lost Jaehyun, tons of projects, my interest in doing things I like and my mother. Her death is something I will always look back on because I wasn’t with her. 

I lost her.

For the times that I also lost myself, Johnny had come to save my losing ass to the pit of darkness and loneliness. I’m so thankful for him even though he reminds me of Jaehyun.

I am restless that night, not paying attention and rolling in the sheets of my bed. Dreaming of something that will enliven myself and dark, deep unfathomed places. I woke up in the middle of the night, ended up watching the still, lit up busy city lights before crying myself back to sleep.

The first week of April went smooth and peaceful. I often see Jaehyun in the site but I decided to wait for him to leave so I could completely avoid him. Having Jaehyun close to me is something I never prayed for. I still hate his guts.

“How about we go to a nightclub after this and at least have some fun? You guys, especially Y/N, looks so exhausted as fuck.”

Johnny shouted in delight. “Damn, that’s what I’m talking about!”

Like what Architect Lee suggested, we went to a club that Johnny recommended. It was just a ten minute drive from the office.

“Ladies, this is my cousin Mark,” Johnny introduced the man who just came—probably in this twenties. His hair is ruffled jet black and he’s wearing white button-down dress shirt, sleeves are rolled up three-fourth. “Mark, this is Y/N, Seolhee and Rosé.”

“Architect Rosé Park.”

“Hi! I’m Architect Seolhee Lee!”

Mark extends his hand so I immediately placed my hand in his. He smiled and sat in the empty space of the black leather couch beside me.

Rosé offered me a shot of foreign alcohol, Jägermeister. She seems to be a party girl who knows a lot of things in alcoholic beverages. I drink, but I have to tolerate myself. For the last time I was drunk, I ended up sleeping in my bathtub because I kept going back to the bathroom.

We ended up finishing one bottle of Jägermeister and JD and two bottles of vodka before finding ourselves on the dance floor. The colorful lights strobed with the blasting music. I danced and danced until I felt someone staring at me.

I looked around to find the set of eyes who has been observing my every move, grind, and ruffling of hair. As I try to look for them on the dance floor, my eyes accidentally stayed in the second floor. I saw Jaehyun sitting in the black velvet couch, eyeing me as if I’m his prey. He drank the dark-colored liquid that was in his glass.

I rubbed my eyes and tried to look for him, again. He wasn’t there anymore.

The fuck?

“Y/N! Is that you?”

I promptly looked behind me and saw an unfamiliar person in front of me. My brows furrowed for a moment.

“Oh my god,” I exclaimed before hugging him. “Madexeus!”

He chuckled and tightened the hug. We moved away from the dance floor to sit on the high chairs placed before the bartender’s counter.

“2 glasses of my regular, please,” He told the bartender before looking at me. “Holy shit. Is that really you?”

I shrugged. “How long have you been here? It literally felt like ages since I last saw you.”

“Just came here for a short visit, though.” He passed a glass to me. “And I also heard what happened to your mother. I’m sorry.”

I gave him a short smile and drank the alcohol that felt like thousands of knives in my throat. The pain of losing my own mother is still in my heart, stabbed like a poisonous dagger.

“Thanks. I’m fine,” I lied. “It has been two years, already, Xeus. There’s no way I could never get over to that.”

“What are you doing for living now? Am I free to call you Doctor Y/N now?”

“Oh, that. I didn’t pursue it anymore. I’m an Engineer now, though!”

I’ll try to be happy, at least for my mother and not for anybody else.

“Well, are you sti-”

I was about to talk when someone gracefully dragged me from my seat. He lifted me up and placed my stomach to his shoulder like I’m a sack.

“What the fuck? Help!” I shouted and averted his hands from holding my legs in place.

“Shut your ass up or I will spank that.”

The voice is so manly, authoritative and dominant. There’s only one person I know who is pretty much likely to act like that. He opened the shotgun seat’s door before carefully putting me inside. I pushed myself more to the side of the door.

When he entered the car, we fell silent.

“Jaehyun, just bring me back insi-”

“No and I wont.”

“Why did you dragged me just like that, then?!”

“Who are you with? That ugly ass man or my cousin Johnny again?”

His left hand gripped the steering wheel while the other hand is behind my headrest. Jaehyun revived the engine before drifting away from the club’s valet parking. I looked at the buildings outside.

“Does it matter to you if I’m going out with one of them?” I softly whispered.

His eyes focused on the road.

“Are you avoiding me?” He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, you’re avoiding me.”

I remained my eyes to the buildings outside until Jaehyun pulled up somewhere unbeknownst to me. He removed his seat belt and went out. I rolled my eyes before following him.

He sat on the hood of the car and slid his hands to the pockets of his black slacks. I sat beside him, admiring the view of city lights.

“That night..” He heaved a deep sigh. “I was drugged by Chaewon. That’s why I wasn’t able to remember everything when you asked me.”

I remained silent. 

Speechless.

“When.. did you know about this?” I asked, still looking straight at the view.

“A week after you moved out and left me alone, broken.”

He knew and he didn’t even bother to tell me even a single detail about it.

“Chaewon is my old secretary’s sister. I was out with my brother that time when my secretary was with her. She saw me and greeted us. Apparently, she knew me already that time but acted like she didn’t. I don’t remember the other things that happened after that. All I know is she’s the one who drugged me.” 

Jaehyun stared at me and I locked gazes with him.

“I didn’t bother telling you since you already had Johnny beside you. I also heard from him that you lost your interest in Engineering when your mother died that’s why I asked him to make you back on track again. Because I know I won’t be able to do so.”

Fresh hot tears slowly streamed down to my cheeks, which made my heart clenched. I couldn’t stop the tremendous pain I’m feeling.

“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He looked away, realizing what I said before moving closer to me. “Shh. Hey, love, it’s alright.”

“Jae, I’m sorry,” I said, softly. He cupped my face to wipe the tears.

Jaehyun didn’t answer. Instead, he held my head and pulled me. Making me lean on his chest. I bit my lower lip to cease my loud sobs.

That same night, Jaehyun drove me back to my penthouse. I dozed myself to sleep so I could at least escape from reality. The day after next, I visited the site to check the supplies if we ran out of something.

“Excuse me. Are you Engineer L/N?”

I looked behind me to see who called me when a man in dark blue button-down dress shirt, red necktie and dark blue slacks appeared in front of me.

“Yes, and you are?”

“Taeyong. May I ask if Jaehyun Jung is here?”

Jaehyun?

“He’s not yet here. Jaehyun often goes here at around 4 pm.” I answered while closing the folder I’m holding.

“Oh, yeah? Thank you, gorgeous.”

“Wait! Are you Jaehyun’s cousin? I can contact him if you want.”

He turned around again and removed his wayfarers.

“I’m his brother, Taeyong.” He winked. “It’s already quarter to four, maybe I could stay and wait for him here?”

I led him towards the office. When I opened the door, Johnny was scanning to some paperworks.

“Come on. It’s hot there, we have AC inside.”

He entered the room and silently sat on the black couch beside Johnny’s desk.

“Jae-” Johnny stopped. “Holy fuck, man!”

The Taeyong guy chuckled. “I knew you would be here, John. What’s up?”

Johnny sat on the single couch, still surprised.

“I’ll just go outside.”

I immediately went out afterwards. If he is Jaehyun’s brother, how come I haven’t seen him before?

“Hey.”

I almost fell on my feet when I heard Jaehyun spoke. He laughed. He was wearing a white button-down shirt, open at the collar and sleeves are rolled up, and gray slacks. His gray coat is hanging on his arm. 

“Your brother’s inside,” I said, softly. His brows furrowed.

“My what?”

“Taeyong? Your brother?”

His jaw clenched and instantly opened the office door.

I stood behind Jaehyun and saw his brother grinning widely.

“Oh. Hey there, brother. Miss me?”

“What are you doing here?” Jaehyun authoritative asked. What’s with them?

He held my hand and pulled me closer to him.

“Woah. I won’t steal your lady. Right, gorgeous?” Taeyong looked at me. “Anyway, since you’re already here, come home tonight. Father’s asking for your presence at the family dinner.”

Jaehyun scoffed. “And if I won’t show up?”

“Oh, you would absolutely want to, dear brother.”

Taeyong went outside and walked towards his orange Lamborghini. Jaehyun made his way to his black Tesla and they both drove away from the site.

“What’s with them?” I asked Johnny. He just shrugged.

Another week has passed when I was invited to a charity event in Paris. I wore a simple maroon satin slip dress that ended just one inch below my knees and hugged my body well. Then I let my ash brown soft wavy hair down.

The whole event was so boring, it was all about business and that’s not even my field. I looked at the guests and all of them are known for being wealthy and leading capitals of fiscals or law firms. If not, most of them are either CEO or stockholders.

I finished the last faint brown-colored liquid in my wine flute in just one drink and stood up so I could leave the place quietly. I was about to exit peacefully when I bumped into someone’s shoulder, making me almost stumble on my own feet.

“We met again, gorgeous.”

I looked up to face the person and saw a familiar face— the owner of same playful grin.

“Allow me to introduce myself again and make up for my first bad impression to you,” He offered his right hand. “I’m Taeyong Lee.”

[snarkwrites]

summer sizzle | disaster, steve harrington [m]

[ prompts used ]

** again, all of these were found on different lists across the internet. literally none of them belong to me and i will have to try finding the lists these all came from at some point. credits to anyone who made these prompt lists **

Disaster + “S-stop staring at me like that!” + Say My Name + comfort sex + One Small Kiss, Pulling Away For An Instant, Then Devouring Each Other

[ authors notes ]

This is the alternate universe to my whole thing with Steve and Charlotte. At some point, I do plan to write an actual fic for them. In the meantime, I’m gonna build things up through one shots and stuff. If anyone’s curious, pls ask away, my ask box is open.

[ warnings ]

18+ only. All children, leave the room. I repeat, all children, leave the room. underage drinking a lil bit, biting / leaving hickies, body fluids, oral [ both parties give and recieve ], protected sex and that’s pretty much it.

[ pairing / fandom ]

steve harrington x ofc, charlotte granger

[ tagging ]

@rampagewriting​​ | @chasingeverybreakingwave​​

[ tag list - masterlist - about my writing ]

                                     D I S A S T E R - steve harrington x ofc,

“You really should slow down with that.” Steve popped up beside me and it only made me that much more determined to chug the bottle of rum in my hands. If I had alcohol in my mouth, I didn’t have to try conversing. I didn’t risk just grabbing his face in my hands and laying a kiss on him that would only result in making everything even more awkward between the two of us than it already is.

I sat the bottle down on the tabletop firmly, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand as I swayed a little to the music. I could feel the rabbit ears on my headband slipping and I swore, reaching up. Steve swatted my hands away and reached over, fixing the way they stood, bending one of them ever so slightly. He stepped a little closer, the limited space between us filling with heavy tension.

It seemed to do that a lot lately.

He nodded to the crowded party. “I thought you came with Byers to pick up Nancy.”

I shrugged and raised the bottle to my lips, taking another drink, swallowing it down before I answered quietly, “I decided to stay. I didn’t want to feel like a third wheel on my own date.”

As neutral as I tried to sound when saying it, I failed miserably. The sarcasm laced into my words and Steve’s head tilted slightly as he just… stared at me. Like he was in deep thought and dazed.

“If you’re going to be weird, I’m going to go do keg stands.” I muttered the words quietly and took a step forward. That step put me body to body with Steve whose hands immediately settled on my hips as his eyes roamed and he didn’t bother trying to hide it.

“Bad date?” Steve asked, giving me a bit of a weak smile as our eyes met.

I snorted. “More like a complete fucking disaster from the word go.”

Steve snickered and I pouted at him, lips poking out.

“I’m glad to see my sheer misery makes you laugh. Asshole.” I started to try and side step but he stopped me, staring deep into my eyes again and not saying anything.

Until finally, he did. Pulling me closer because a crowd rushed past, whooping and hollering because someone was about to do keg stands again in the next room. I blew at a bright red strand of loose bangs that flopped into my eye and tilted my head slightly, looking at him.

“It’s not your misery, okay? I was laughing cos..” Steve trailed off, eyes settling fixed on the floor beneath our feet. I raised a brow and honestly, I meant to just walk away, beyond done with the night by this point, but something about the way he fell silent had my interest piqued.

“Why?” I asked the question as my hand settled on my hip. Steve was staring at the black velvet strapless bodysuit I was wearing, at the fishnets covering my legs, anything but my actual face. Distracted, as usual. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat impatiently.

“ The fact that Nancy just broke up with me. I don’t know, I guess it’s just my reaction to a shitty night.” the explanation sounded feeble, but I said nothing.

It hit me then, what he’d just said.

I eyed him in concern, going quiet. I took a few big back to back sips of the rum in my hand and gritted my teeth, shaking my head all over again at the burn as I glanced at the bottle for a second or two, just to keep from staring at him like an ass, as is my tendency as of late.

And yes, I feel like the world’s most horrible friend for it.

“They say this stuff goes down smoother the more you sip it. I call bullshit.” I mumbled, mostly to myself, mostly just to keep that heavy tension from creeping back in between Steve and I all over again.

Steve reached for the bottle and raised it to his lips, shotgunning a generous portion as he shrugged.

“Fucking show off.” I grumbled, reaching for the bottle and nearly falling forward as I did so.

Steve stepped closer, hands at my side after sitting the bottle of rum down on the table nearby. “Are you alright?”

“Shh. Don’t kill my buzz.” I held a finger to his lips as I giggled a little bit. Someone put on Aerosmith and I bounced on my feet a little, grinning from ear to ear about it. When my eyes met his again, he was staring at me, an almost thoughtful expression on his face.

“S-stop staring at me like that!” I drawled, starting to sway my hips a little to the song playing in the background.

“What if I don’t wanna?” Steve practically mumbled the question, his gaze growing more intent. Roaming even more. Lingering on my body just long enough to set my body to burning immediately.

I threw my head back and laughed at what he said, the laughter dying on my lips as my eyes met his again and I realized that he wasn’t joking. He had his most serious facial expression on. And he was stepping closer, towering over me just  barely. Fingertips digging into the thin black velvet fabric covering my body.  His hips rubbing right against mine, making me swallow hard and sort of melt into him just so I didn’t have to look at him and increase the risk of him figuring out exactly what he was doing to me at the moment.

“Tonight is really a disaster, huh?” I managed to mumble, mostly for lack of anything better to say and wanting to vanquish the tension before it got so fucking thick I couldn’t breathe. I could already feel my legs getting a little  more wobbly, my thighs getting just a little slippery. Just the thought of him… In that way… had me burning up all over in a heated blush for at least the tenth time since he’d wandered over an hour or two ago.

I’ve shoved this thing down so deep that now that it’s bubbling up to the surface, it takes literally all my willpower from stopping it.

Steve continued to stare, his gaze fixing on my lips as he licked his own. He swallowed hard and my eyes settled on the way his throat bobbed. I did my best not to indulge myself and imagine dancing my lips down his throat.

“The night’s not over yet.” his voice almost sounded husky. Laced with something I couldn’t quite figure out.

When he finally said it, he was standing so close that I was pressed against him, bodies rubbing together lightly. Mostly to steady myself in the stupid heels I chose to wear with my costume, I raised my arms, wrapping them around his neck.

“True, but.. Our dates did leave together.” I pointed out the fact, sighing quietly. I mean… I’m the one who told Jonathan to worry about getting Nancy home safe, that I wanted to stay and hang out with Briar and a few of the other girls and that I’d be fine.

,, you told him to leave you because maybe you’re starting to realize that he’s more into Nancy. So you’re cutting your losses.” my brain reminded me. I literally have no reason to be bitter right now, and yet.. Here I go.

Between Nancy dating Steve even knowing our history and how I had a crush on him and how tense things were when he stopped being friends with me.. And her suddenly having so much to do with Jonathan right when I’ve decided that maybe it’s time to let go of old crushes… I’d almost swear she was doing it deliberately if I didn’t know otherwise.

“I told Nancy to go.” Steve admitted, shrugging a little, a weak smile as he looked down at me. “She didn’t wanna be here with me anyway.”

I bit my lip, nodding at him as I found my own eyes settling on thick lips. Lips I desperately wanted to kiss.

My fingertips seemed to grow minds of their own, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

In the room behind us, the noise seemed to grow, people were getting rowdier. But all I could do was continue to stare,  trying to figure out why he’d even come over to me in the first place.

“Honestly, I could tell Jonathan had other things on his mind tonight. I was just in the way.” I shrugged it off and took a deep breath. More people pushed past us, putting us even closer together. I bit back a quiet whimper and felt myself starting to blush. He chuckled and gazed down at me a few seconds, that look in his eye all over again.

“What? Do I have lipstick on my teeth?” I asked the question and raised my hand, prepared to wipe at my mouth. This red lipstick, while pretty, was a huge pain in my ass. But it made the costume seem even more appropriate… Or inappropriate. Whatever.

“No, I was just thinking.. Something Nancy said after she broke up with me and called basically everything about us bullshit before demanding to leave… About you.”

I swallowed hard, my breath catching in my  throat, but as best as I could, I tried to downplay. To feign an air of total neutrality. My best blank look on my face, casual.. Appearing not to be affected by Steve and his.. Everything.

“Yeah?” I asked, walking a finger up and down the front of his black button front shirt. He squirmed slightly and kept staring down at me intently, letting his gaze drop to my finger for a lingering distracted few seconds. The tension in the air was getting so much thicker. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t deny it.

Shit, did I sound breathless? The thought came but I shoved it out, clearing my throat, guiding his gaze so that he had to look at me. “What’d she say?” I finally managed to ask the question, trying to steer this whole… Bizarre moment away from the heavy tension it was fast approaching.

“It wasn’t anything bad.” Steve said it quickly and I bit my lip, waiting.

“After she told me that everything was bullshit, she told me that I was with the wrong girl and I’m kind of…” he trailed off again, leaning down, his face getting closer to mine. My breath caught again and this time, I didn’t try hiding the fact. “Yeah?” the word came quick and clumsy as my face inched closer to his.

And my lips promptly brushed against the corner of his mouth clumsily. I drew back quick but his hands caught on either side of my face, pulling my lips directly back to his. “Where are you goin, hm?” he half growled the question against my lips as his mouth crashed against and hungrily devoured mine. One of his hands dragged up my back, catching in my hair, tangling in it as he gripped the back of my head and his other hand rested on my cheek, a thumb trailing lazily along my cheek after the kiss broke.

We slowly pulled apart, staring at one another wide eyed. He was quick to lean back in, chuckling as he bit his bottom lip and stared hungrily at mine a second or two. “She was right. It has always been you, I just…” he dragged his hand through his hair as he took several shaky breaths.

It suddenly seemed to occur to him just how little I was wearing and the next thing I knew, he was shedding his blazer and putting it around me, even going as far as to button a few buttons.

“Steve.” I whined, pouting up at him as he shook his head no. “No, nope. That costume is, “ he gestured to me, “Too fucking much. What are you supposed to be anyway?”

“A bunny.” I was intentionally being vague. Honestly, I figured he’d put two and two together.

Apparently, he did not.

“I’ve been wearing this the entire time you’ve been standing here and you’re just now seeing it? Ya know.. If I were easily offended, I could take offense to that. I happen to like it. And it belonged to my grandma Ginger.” I did a little twirl to sort of show off the costume, maybe rubbing it in just a little.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.. Bunnies are covered in fur and their noses wiggle, Charlotte. That is.. Fuck me, it is something, alright...” he was tugging at his hair again and gazing down at me and I succumbed to the fit of giggles that had been threatening to take over for at least a minute or two by this point.

Typical Steve… Getting so caught in a moment that he really doesn’t notice his surroundings until he does. Then he’s in sheer awe or shock.

“Anyway, I was in the middle of something.” Steve was trying to get whatever he was making an attempt to say out and I stood there, head tilted slightly, watching him and barely hiding the little smile I had as I did it. “You were, if you’d kindly just get to it.”

“Maybe we could do this outside? Where I can hear myself think?” Steve pleaded and I gave a nod. I honestly assumed he’d let me walk out. No. The next thing I know, I’m being scooped up and carried out the door of Billy Hargrove’s house and he didn’t put me down until we were standing beside his BMW.

“Better now?” I couldn’t hide my amusement at this point.

He stuck his tongue out at me and took a few long and shaky breaths, rubbing his face. “I think so, yeah. Okay. Now where was I?”

“Steve, c’mon. Just say whatever it is. This is me you’re talking to. I’ve known you since we were five. Out with it already.” I pleaded, toying with his shirt as he stopped pacing in favor of standing in front of me, staring down. Hungrily. His pupils were shot, almost blacking out the brown of his eyes. I gulped as I stared right back up at him, wondering if he was going to come out with whatever this was, my breath catching in my throat when his hips brushed right against my lower body and instead of moving away a little, Steve proceeded to step even closer, my back pressing right against the cold exterior of his car, the handle digging into my lower back just a little.

“Nancy was right.” Steve’s voice came out quietly, almost awestruck. I fidgeted slightly, my gaze dropping to the heels I was wearing briefly. He wasn’t having it, he reached out, fingers lightly gripping my chin as his face moved closer to mine all over again. “You’re the one I actually love. And I had no idea until Nancy, she…” he was talking faster now, almost as if he were afraid of what my reaction might be.

When what he was saying really hit me, I melted into him, going just a little clingy. “Yeah.. the last time we kind of argued… she threw that up at me too. Something about both of us being almost comically oblivious about things.” I agreed, the words coming quick, almost tumbling out one right on top of the other. I was a little shaky and I couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the way it felt pressing against him or the overwhelming realization we’d both just had.

When he rubbed against me lightly just to try and get even closer, I let out a ragged breath and looked up at him.

“Steve?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, princess?” Steve muttered, his gaze fixing on my lips as his tongue slowly crawled along the outline of his mouth. His fingertips were digging into my hips now and I gasped when I felt him strained against dark jeans. It was distracting enough I couldn’t think straight.

“I wanna get out of here.” I barely managed to breathlessly respond.

“Me too.” his mouth brushed against the corner of mine lazily and his hands crept down my sides, squeezing when they stopped at my hips. I raised a leg, letting it settle on his hip and his hand left my hip to wander down and squeeze my thigh as he did it again, clumsily rocking himself right against me, drawing a whimper out of me.

“Where do you want to go?” Steve asked as he tilted my chin, guiding my gaze back up to him. “I just want to be alone with you…” he mumbled against my forehead, making me shiver at the way it felt when his lips brushed my skin. “Just wanna talk. Make up for lost time.” his words had me smiling a little, biting my lip and nodding in agreement. I did too. We had so much to talk about and straighten out. And I wanted cuddles. I wouldn’t mind many more kisses like the one we shared inside the party, either.

Among other things.

“Well, anywhere we go, I’m going to be sneaking back in.” I gave a soft giggle as I met his gaze and watched the smile grow.

“You went all bad girl on me, Charlie.”

“I most certainly did not. I’m protesting my curfew.”

“My house then? I mean, if you want to go. We’d actually be able to be alone. Not like here, with all these fucking people.”  Steve chuckled as he gave a half annoyed gesture back towards Billy’s crowded house. I blushed and looked up at him, nodding in agreement.

“Let’s just go.” I answered, letting him help me into the passenger seat of his car then gripping hold of his shirt and pulling him down into me, crashing my lips against his yet again. My mouth strayed, gingerly grazing against the side of his neck and he gave a quiet groan, his fingers digging into the back of my seat as he whined against my throat, “Charlotte, this isn’t getting us to my place.”

“I know but I couldn’t resist.” I answered, my eyes fluttering open and shut as I felt his teeth dig into my neck lightly. He smirked against my skin and finally pulled away, shutting the door to my side of the car in a hurry, then rushing around to the driver seat, getting in.

The drive to his house was quiet. The tension between us had shifted from awkward to heavy… filled with want. Things we hadn’t managed to say to each other just yet. Things we needed to say.

As we came to a stop beneath one of few redlights in town, his fingers skimmed my thighs, resting, squeezing a little as he looked over at me. I leaned in, my mouth crashing against his. His lips fell open and his tongue swept out, colliding with mine as his hand crept just a little higher and he breathed into the kiss, “This is okay, right?”

“Mhm.” I hummed against his mouth, squirming and rocking myself against the touch of his hand when it brushed against my velvet covered crotch. He growled quietly, his lips latching onto my bottom one, sucking until I could feel it aching and I was panting and begging, a squirmy whining mess in my seat.

“Want you so bad. So bad.” he muttered as he pulled away, staring at me with a lust filled gaze, letting out several drawn out and shaky breaths as if he were trying to calm himself down.

There was no calming me down at this point. I leaned across the console keeping us separate and gripped his jaw, pulling his mouth against mine. “You realize that to an extent, you’ve always had me, right?”

That smile, the bright goofy one, it crept to his mouth and he pulled back, just staring at me, our breathing all ragged and the windows of his car starting to fog up. He reached out and gripped my hips, guiding me over the console into his lap. His lips grazed my forehead and he mumbled softly against it, “You weren’t close enough.”

I looked up at him. “And now?”

“It’ll work until we finally manage to get inside.” Steve laughed softly, his hands at either side of my face, already leaning in for another kiss. I deepened it, my hand raising, my fingers catching in and tugging at thick hair. When he pouted against my mouth because I’d messed his hair up, I gave his top lip a playful nip and muttered with a quiet giggle, “You better get used to it.”

“You’re a lot bossier than I remember.” he mused, chuckling and adding as an afterthought, “ I kinda like it anyway.” about the way I just sort of carelessly played with his hair.

I rocked against his lap a little, getting bolder. Feeling the relief of everything being out in the open at last. His head fell back against the seat’s headrest and he groaned, bucking up into me from below, his hands skimming over my body, not staying in one place too long. His mouth breaking from mine to drag slowly down my throat and neck, briefly catching my earlobe. “We should really get inside.” he half groaned against the shell of my ear as his lips started to stray gently down the side of my neck all over again, latching on here and there, leaving marks behind.

I pulled back and rocked myself against him, giving a pout as I begged quietly, “Please?”

“Ya mean that’s a word you actually know, Charlotte?” Steve teased gently as he opened the door to the car and stepped out, stopping to adjust his grip on me. I wrapped my legs and arms around him and his mouth met mine all over again as he made his way up the walkway leading into his house. My back met the front door with a quiet smack and I climbed out of his arms, making him pout at me as my fingers toyed with the buttons on his black shirt, finally just pulling it open and sending a dusting of buttons plinking quietly against concrete. He chuckled quietly, watching a button settle and then his eyes were fixed firmly back on mine. And before I could even get a word out or take another breath, I was back in his arms and he was unlocking the door with as much haste as he could, his mouth latched onto mine as we stepped through the door and into the living room of his house.

His hand shot out, feeling the wall for the light switch without bothering to break the ongoing kiss. I could feel my lips swelling and the more I rubbed against him and whimpered, the more he growled quietly into my mouth. He finally found the light switch and my back met the couch. I reached up, trying to pull him down to my level and he chuckled when I pulled too hard and we wound up a tangle of limbs on the couch, faces bumping when we went back in for a kiss at the same time.

“Ouch. Your nose is pointy.” Steve laughed against my mouth.

“And? Yours is pointier, Steve.” I giggled. Our foreheads met and he bit his lip, staring down at me intently. A finger raising to catch gently in the necklace around my neck. The smile grew, softening as soon as he realized exactly what the necklace was.

It was a locket he’d gotten me when we were kids. Back before popularity and ‘eww, a girl can’t be your best friend. If she is, you must like her..” came into play. He got it for me on a birthday. I’d put a picture of my dad in one side and a picture of my grandparents in the other and the locket literally never left my neck, despite me keeping it hidden most of the time. It was the first truly nice thing anyone who wasn’t in my family had done and I guess after I put the pictures of people I loved the most inside, it made it easy for me to not take it off.

“You still have this?” his words came out in tender gasps against my mouth, then my throat. “I figured you probably put it away.” his hands were roaming back down my body all over again, squeezing my hips and making me rub against him. I drew a sharp gasp and bit my lip, staring up at him as I shook my head. My fingers carded his scalp, tugging at his hair and he groaned, bucking against me a little, both of us stopping to catch our breath.

My hand lowered, toying with the waistband of his pants and he stared at me. Our eyes locked and I muttered quietly, “I don’t want to stop.” as I unbuttoned his pants and then unzipped them, fingers shaky as I tugged pants and underwear down at the same time. Steve kicked them off after kicking off his shoes and after letting his eyes roam over me slowly, licking his lips,he breathed out against my throat, “Me either.”  an arm going beneath me as he rocked against me more slowly, his fingers searching for the zip to the back of the bodysuit. When he finally found it, he gave a quiet and triumphant laugh, tugging at the zip eagerly as his mouth latched onto my throat and I sat up a little bit, leaning into him, wiggling out of the bodysuit as best as I could until he stopped me, shaking his head. “I’m supposed to do that, babe. Let me.”

He took his time, lowering the bodysuit until my breath was coming in short gasps and I was pleading for more, scooting closer to him, just trying to push for any more friction than I was currently getting. When he got the bodysuit down to my hips, I slipped off the couch, slowly wiggling the body suit down to my ankles, slowly kicking it free. I bent down, pulling off the impossibly high heels and Steve sat there, eyes glued to my body, biting his lip and bucking against air as he whistled quietly and rubbed his chin. My hands roamed down my body, fingertips lingering lazily in a pair of black panties but he was on his feet, moving towards me in a split second, his hand brushing mine out of the way. He started to step closer, making me step back until my knees brushed the back of the couch and then I found myself on my back again, Steve positioning himself between my legs, staring up at me with lust blown eyes as he worked the clasps free from the garters that held my stockings in place and connected them to my panties.

“What the hell were you thinkin, wearing this out tonight?” His eyes met mine as he asked the question, daring to lower his head and dance his lips against my upper thigh. It sent a shiver down my body and I whimpered as my head fell back.

“Honest answer?” I asked breathlessly.

“I’d prefer it, yeah.” Steve answered, waiting expectantly. He made it really clear that I was not getting out of giving an answer.

With a few shaky breaths and my eyes fluttering shut for a second as he placed more kitten licks against my skin, I finally managed to answer “I wanted to look hot. And rub your face in it.”

“Even though you came with Byers to pick up Nancy…” Steve stared down at me, smirking a little as things began to click into place a lot better. “Oh.. Oh… So all that sarcasm was what? An act?”

“Nancy’s my best friend. I couldn’t hurt her, okay? I thought she...I thought she loved you and you guys were happy or whatever… So yeah.” I answered honestly, catching his gaze. It was the truth, now that I was finally allowing myself to admit it. Sure, I’d been hurt by Steve back then, but then he and Nancy started dating and I just… couldn’t deal with it. So I blamed the pain. Just to keep myself from feeling things again.

A desperate attempt to keep him at arms length.

“And now?” Steve eyed me, waiting on an answer. Since we were getting it all out, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I took a deep breath and a few seconds and finally, I spoke up to answer. “Now things might be different… Better. At least I hope they can be?” I bit my lip and answered quietly, reaching up to pull his mouth down to mine. Steve nipped at my lips until I could feel them swell on impact.

“Much better. I promise, babe.” Steve reassured me as he rose up again, working the fishnets down my legs. I wiggled them off my feet and they settled on the living room floor. Then he was back at it, intently focused on just how slowly he could peel down my panties. Just how much he could make me whimper and beg for him to hurry while locking eyes with me, a teasing gleam in his eyes.

I dragged my fingers through his hair as he lowered his head, his lips lazily settling on my lower abdomen stopping mid lick  just as he got my panties down my thigh to gaze back up at me and lick his lips.

“Steve, c’mon… Please?” I begged.

He took a deep breath, lowering himself even more, arms hooking beneath my legs, spreading me open wider. My legs settled over each of his shoulders and I shivered and giggled softly as I felt his mouth roaming up my calves. By the time he reached the sides of my knees, I was biting my lip and trying to squirm beneath him and I could feel myself getting wetter with each little kitten lick and gentle nip against the surface of my skin. I could hear his breath catch in his throat and he glanced up at me, licking his lips before lowering his mouth again, the soft groan shattering the air as his tongue rolled right up my center in one broad stripe. My fingers curled in the leather couch, desperately trying to find anything to clutch hold of as his lips locked over my clit and I felt him starting to suck and lick. My toes curling as my hips arched upward under his muttered command and my head fell back even further, despite my best efforts to stay at least partially upright to watch him.

“So sweet.” he muttered against my dripping and aching core, his tongue circling my clit one last time before slowly moving downward, two fingers slipping into me deep, working me open and scissoring gently, massaging. His tongue plunged deep inside and my whimpers and moans came almost breathless as I felt my insides tensing, the ache that had settled in a while ago only building further. I rocked my hips against his mouth and fingers and he growled against my core, teeth grazing against, the sucking and wet sounds of his mouth competing with my quiet whimpers, moans and gasps. The harder I tried to curl my toes or grip the couch, the more futile it proved to actually be. I was finally resorting to resting my hand on the top of his head, fingers tugging at his hair. I tensed a little more and he stopped to lock eyes with me, his lips and chin glistening with my juices, licking his lips slowly. “Let go, babe.”

I didn’t need any further urging. The orgasm ripped through me, leaving me shaky and moaning his name over and over as I raised a hand and dragged it through my hair. My mouth fell open and I had a hard time catching my breath for a solid few seconds. Steve was pulling himself up my body and leaning in for a kiss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him down closer to me, my mouth meeting his hungrily, a quiet moan at the taste of myself on his lips. Then as the kiss broke, I pulled back, nodding to the way his cock stood at attention. I licked my lips slowly and reached out, pushing him back, lightly straddling him. His hands caught on my body, digging and scraping and when my mouth left his to work down the front of his throat slowly, he arched against me, making me hiss as his cock grazed right between my folds gently. “Babe?”

“My turn now, Steve.” I drawled quietly as my tongue danced over his chest, then in a line down his abdomen. His fingers caught in my hair and when my lips caught on the tip of his cock, tongue rolling across slowly, savoring the taste of him as it filled my mouth, he whimpered. I glanced up at him, biting my lip and making my way back up to lean down and press my mouth against his, pulling us deep into another kiss that didn’t end until neither of us could breathe properly. The entire time, I could feel his cock nudging against my throbbing cunt and I whined against his lips “Steve, it’s my turn.”

“I’m not stopping you.” he teased, that lazy grin coming with ease as we locked eyes. I poked out my tongue at him and he raised a hand, catching hold of my jaw, guiding my mouth back to his as he muttered quietly, “Kissing you is probably going to be an addiction.”

“I’m not complaining.” I mused breathlessly as I started to crawl back down him again, settling between his legs, lowering my head. When I took his length deep in my mouth, my tongue rolling slowly over the entire length, he gripped my hair tighter, bucking his hips against my mouth gently. “Fuck.” he groaned, a warning tone to his voice as he reached down, tilting my head to make me stop. “Easy, princess.” he groaned out shakily. I bit my lip and nodded before locking my lips around his length again, the suction causing a quiet pop as I worked my mouth over every single inch. Steve was really starting to squirm and finally, I felt him tugging at my hair as he cleared his throat. When I looked up, catching my breath, he gripped my jaw again, guiding my mouth to his.

“C’mon up here, princess.” Steve reached down to the spot his pants landed at on the living room floor and after blindly digging in a pocket while not breaking the kiss, he held up a foil covered square, ripping at the corner with his teeth and spitting the torn edge out. I reached out, my hand circling his, guiding the condom into my own hand and I pulled it out of it’s packaging, giving a soft giggle. Steve bit his lip and leaned up and in slightly, muttering a soft, “What am I gonna do with you, hm?” as he gave me a gentle and loving kiss that deepened to a point where neither of us were breathing on their own anymore as it began to break. I worked the condom down over his length, giving a gentle pump or two after I finished, making him buck against my hand and start to whine as he pulled me back up his body, into his lap.

I sank down on his cock, a quiet whimper leaving my lips as I felt myself being stretched out and split in two. My hands raised, one going to the hair at the nape of his neck and the other to his shoulders, my fingertips digging in lightly as I stayed still and let myself get used to the way he felt inside me.

His hands gripped my hips and his mouth crashed against mine, his teeth tugging at my lower lip in the heat of a messy kiss. He started to pump me up and down, bucking into me from below and I moaned loud enough that it echoed in the nearly silent house.

“Ah, fuck.. Steve. Faster.” I begged breathlessly, but my begging seemed to fall on deaf ears as Steve seemed to be determined on fucking into me long, slow and deep drives. His mouth strayed from mine, little kitten licks and nips against my skin as his mouth marched down the front of my throat. His hands left my hips, moving up the curve of my body, stopping at the sides of my tits, squeezing them together as he dove his mouth down, letting it lazily latch onto my nipple and started to fuck into me from below just a little faster. I whimpered and rocked my hips back and forth, making him grip me even tighter, his movements growing a little jerky, a lot faster. “Charlotte, whoa.. Slower, baby. I’m gonna blow.” he warned, his voice a husky purr against my skin as he fixed pleading eyes on me.

But I couldn’t stop. Another orgasm was building with each deeper drive. I trie dto slow down, peppering his face and lips with little kisses and nipping at his neck, sucking to leave a mark or two behind. My head fell back as I continued to bounce up and down on his cock, getting faster and faster. By the time I really felt myself tensing up all over and the orgasm threatening to take over at any second, his hips stuttered and his cock bottomed out, striking against my spot a time or two that literally almost had me seeing stars. “Steve, p-please. Don’t you dare stop.”

“Oh, I’m not planning on it, princess. I kind of can’t.” Steve continued to plow into me from below, holding my hips hard enough to leave light bruising behind. His other hand wandered up, tangling in the back of my hair, giving a few gentle tugs that sent me whimpering and moaning as my orgasm shattered through at his quietly urging, “C’mon, princess.. Ride me. Get it all out. Wanna.. Wanna feel you, oh god.” and his lips really latched onto my neck, just below my earlobe. I felt my walls clench around his length, continued bouncing up and down on his cock, slowing down just a little as I clutched at his chest and dug my fingers into his shoulders and my head fell back. 

My orgasm shattered through me a second time and I moaned his name over and over. Steve chuckled and leaned up to mumble against my skin “Ready for me?” after a few minutes of letting me ride out the high of my orgasm and I nodded, going clingy and melting against him. He smoothed his hands over my hair and muttered quietly, “There you go, baby.. Just hold on to me.” as he directed my mouth towards his and swallowed up my moans and whimpers in a long and slow kiss as he started to really fuck into me from below, striking right against my spot a time or two, making me really moan as I held on. The kiss broke just as I could feel him throbbing, filling the condom and making me wet all over again.

His forehead pressed against mine as we both clung to each other, trying to catch our breath. He muttered softly against my mouth, “I heard your stomach growl… Want anything?”

“Just to stay like this a little longer.” I yawned lazily, leaning against him, practically molded to his body.

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

Disturbing || Tommy Shelby x reader

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested/summary:  Can you write one about tommy and reader breaking up, then months later tommy sees her with people he doesn’t approve, of drinking ( drugs eg if your comfortable) so he try’s to get her back? Maybe with younger reader

Warnings: Younger reader (20-25 yrs old), anxiety, maybe angst, drug use, heavy drinking, swearing (but, c’mon, it’s the peaky fooking blinders we’re talking about)

Author’s notes: 

I’m sorry if the title sucks, I can’t think of anything better at the moment

This was my very first request and I was so tense while writing it, I guess I smoked a thousand cigarettes in the process! I’m praying that you’ll like it, let me know what you think and tell me if this is what you expected  ♡

I myself suffer form anxiety, in the first part I just tried to explain how my brain works in certain situations and that’s why it is so long, I hope you won’t get bored.

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

You had been trying to keep control of your mind, you truly had, but in the end that familiar sense of pure fear took over you, again. A heavy form of anxiety had been haunting you ever since you were a little girl, but, as the years went by, you had learnt to cope with it well and when you met Thomas, things only got better, the strong bond between the two of you constantly helping you handle that issue. 

Nevertheless, during the last month, things got definitely out of hand: Tommy was always caught up with business, rarely paying attention to you and your increasing fragility, he hadn’t spent a night home since ages and still, in those rare moments you were together, he was just so distant, totally lost in his own mind.

On the other hand, you never once blamed him for the way his life worked, after all you were perfectly aware of how hard it was for him to look after his whole empire, always trying to deal with countless problems without causing any harm to his loved ones, and that was surely not the easiest thing to do. But this time was different: you couldn’t prevent your brain from having obsessive thoughts about Thomas getting completely tired of having you in his way, you actually convinced yourself he was sleeping with other women in the nights he didn’t come home, and on those nights your eyes never shut, you spent hours alone in your king size bed, staring at the white ceiling with short breath and palpitations. That’s why you just couldn’t take it anymore, anxiety was once more sucking the life out of you and you absolutely needed to talk to your boyfriend about it, so, as soon as he entered the house that night, you practically run towards him, determined to calmly explain everything; too bad, your exhausted mind wasn’t working straight and your mouth immediately made it clear.

-Y-you have to tell me-  Tears already streaming down your face while the handsome man in front of you gave you a confused look, not having a clue of what was going on. You could tell he also was in a bad mood, indeed your sentence was at first totally ignored as he walked into his study and quickly lit a cigarette, before filling his glass with whisky.

-What the hell are you talking about, y/n?-

You were now facing him again, your hands shamelessly trembling against your chest while you hardly held back the crying. -If there’s another woman, i-if you want to get rid of me, you have to tell me now, ‘cause I’m l-losing my mind, Thomas-

You slightly jumped when his now empty glass was roughly shoved against the huge desk separating your figures, then you unconsciously stepped back, noticing absolute fury burning in his glacial eyes.

-Are you serious right now, eh? Have you any idea how fucking difficult it is to keep everything working these days, eh?- His voice was loud and raspy as he stood from his seat -And you fucking come and tell me about other bloody women, how idiotic of you!- Heavy sobs started coming out of your throat, Thomas instead took a deep breath in order to calm down and stop shouting in your face; once he had partially blown off steam, he sat back in his chair, looking up at you almost with disgust.

-You know what? My brothers were right for once, you’re just a silly kid unable to fit in our world. This whole thing was a mistake, I need a fucking grown woman by my side!- A disturbing silence filled the room right after he spat those bitter words and you swore you heard your heart stop along with your breathing in that very moment, your eyelids instinctively tightened for several seconds, yet, when your eyes flew back open, you realized it wasn’t only a bad dream. Tommy was still staring at you with a stern expression, probably waiting on your next move, so you just looked into his blue irises one last time, unable to speak a single syllable, before leaving.

                                                                                                       3 months later

Days went by fast after your break up with Thomas, since then you’d been trying to avoid him in every way possible, humiliation and pain being still too intense to let you face him without terrible consequences for your already vulnerable spirit. Indeed, everything around you was literally going to pieces right before your eyes and you couldn’t help it; even though you’d always been a strong girl, pretty capable of getting through life and its adversities, recent events had left you in a state of such deep sorrow, that the only thing you were able to do was seek any practicable form of anesthesia in order to escape from reality, even just for a brief moment. In fact, you’d been hanging out with a group of very low guys from East Birmingham, which led you to do drugs and bend your elbow more and more often, severely damaging your ability to think rationally, and the worst part was that you didn’t even care about what you were doing to yourself, as long as it allowed you to get along with your demons.

And then one night, your presumed new friends literally dragged you to the Garrison, despite your loud protests arising from the awareness of the fact that Thomas would’ve been there too. Luckily, long before the Shelby brothers made their usual entrance into their pub, you ended up being utterly intoxicated by alcohol and cocaine to the point that, when the moment finally came and Tommy showed up, you barely noticed him. Too bad for you, Tom’s eyes, on the other hand, never failed in spotting your silhouette among the crowd. At first, seeing you again after all those days brought pure relief to his soul, God only knew how much he had missed you, but soon after he remembered the reason why you were gone and his jaw clenched with regret and shame for the unforgivable way he had treated you.  Conscious of the fact that he had already caused you too much pain, Thomas was about to go away and leave you be, until he saw you diving in some random guy’s arms while heavy drinking directly from a bottle. It just wasn’t like you to act in such a way, therefore he immediately realized that something must have been wrong, so, before his mind had a chance to catch up with the rest of his body, Tommy found himself taking long strides in your direction, roughly elbowing anyone who was in his path. All of a sudden, you observed your friend’s face turn pale and his eyes go wide with fear for no apparently reason, Andrew kept staring at a precise point behind your shoulders and when you turned around in order to understand what was going on, Thomas Shelby was in front of you in all his glory. For a couple of seconds he just stood there, sending deadly glares at the poor boy next to you, blood boiling in his veins because of the violent rage that affected him, then his attention entirely moved to your trembling figure.

-I need a word with you- You felt your chest shrinking in pain as his calm and deep voice reached your ears, but you still tried to play it cool with a strength you didn’t know you had. -Fuck you already, Thomas- A resentful laugh erupted from your throat while, careful not to look in his mesmerizing eyes, you attempted to turn your back on him, yet a gentle grip on your forearm stopped your movements, forcing you to stay in your place.

-I’m begging you, y/n, we need to talk- This time his crystal blue gaze successfully entangled yours and your mind went totally black for a moment, preventing you to fight against him as he guided you out of the pub. Birmingham’s cold breeze immediately hit both of your bodies, but you were hardly able to sense it, due to the effects that drugs and alcohol had on your brain; once you were far enough from the chaos, Tommy stopped walking, his large hand still on your arm. -What are you doing?- His thumb made it to your beautiful face, softly wiping away from your nose the traces of that familiar white powder. -This is not you, y/n!-

His tone raised, displaying all of his concern, you simply gave him a forceful shove in attempt to push him away, but his toned chest didn’t move an inch. -Why do you even care, Tommy? After all I’m just a silly kid to you!- You started screaming, prey of your frustration, as soon as you felt hot tears forming in your eyes; the realization of how you still hopelessly loved him stabbed you right in the ribs.

-Please, just listen to me, okay?- He said while cupping your face with both his hands, probably to make sure you were looking at him, so you managed to childishly close your eyes in a last desperate demonstration of your hard feelings towards him. -I know I hurt you, I know the things I said to you were cruel and unfair, you didn’t deserve that, nothing of that was true- Thomas leaned his forehead against yours, even though you still had your eyes closed and your fists harshly pressed against his chest, his voice now sounding a lot closer. -I was going through a hard time and I was a fucking bastard for putting it all on you. But I swear to God, love, look at me- he slightly rocked you in order to get your attention -Look at me, I love you, y/n- Your eyelids flew open instantly, that being the very first time he clearly admitted his feelings for you, and suddenly you were no longer able to control all of your destructive emotions: your body was now racked with violent sobs as you finally let him hold you properly, crying out loud against his waistcoat and shirt. -Shh, shh- Tommy’s thumbs gradually wiped the tears away from your cheeks, while his lips briefly pecked yours multiple times. -It’s okay, we’ll be fine-  he mumbled in between kisses - let’s go home now-.

[calumance]

LA Devotee - Part XIX

Warnings: heart wrenching angst, cussing, drinking

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: Emily has arrived at her conference, but that doesn’t mean she can stop thinking about Calum. Nothing seems to be going right anymore, that is until she gets home.

A/N: Oof, I’m sorry this is so late. I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Feedback and requests are always welcomed! (Want to be notified when I post stuff? Let me know!)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII 

Masterlist

        I dropped my bags on the hotel floor and flicked on the light switch. The door shut behind me and I looked around the room. If Calum stays in rooms that look anything like this, I don’t know how he doesn’t lose his mind. After a second I walked to the window and tossed the curtains open. The view was the brick building next to the hotel, if I leaned forward and pressed my left cheek to the glass, I could see one billboard from Times Square. I closed the curtains with a sigh and sat on the end of the bed, dropping my head into my hands. This is going to be a horrible week.

        My phone dinged, and I dropped my hands and leaned back, my eyebrows furrowing. My eyebrows released and my heart started to race when I saw Calum’s name. I swiped up to unlock my phone and read the message, “Just landed in LA, hope you had a safe flight. Cal” A sigh escaped my chest and I set my phone on the bed next to me. My heart beat one more time before another message came through. Without moving my body, I reached next to me and grabbed my phone then reluctantly read the message, “I miss you so much. I can’t wait until I can hold you in my arms again, Emily. I’ll call you when I get home.” I tossed my phone behind me, letting it bounce on the mattress. After letting a few thoughts run through my head, I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower before I had to be in a meeting in two hours.

        The mirrors in the bathroom were coated with steam. The fan in the bathroom barely worked and made a horrible screeching noise when I turned it on. After I stepped out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around my hair and body then walked out of the bathroom. The screen on my phone lit up as the ringtone sounded. My heart raced as I walked around the bed and leaned over to see who it was. Seeing Calum’s name, I closed my eyes and let out a breath. Before I could miss the call, I answered the call, “Hello?” I tried to keep the attitude suppressed, but a small amount seeped through. Noticing it, I held my breath and sat on the bed, waiting for Calum to say something.

        “Hey,” He said, the sound of the door shutting in the background. “How was your flight?” There was a thud in the background, resembling the sound of his bag hitting the floor.

        I cleared my throat, “It was good. How was your trip home?” Tears started to well in my eyes and I looked up at the ceiling. My heart hurt, I just wanted to tell him I love him, but the fear of our lives moving in two different directions over taking my feelings.

        “It was good. It feels good to be home.” His voice cracked, causing him to clear his throat and stop his thoughts.

        My chest felt tight, and the phone call suddenly got heavy. “Listen, I have to be in a meeting in an hour. I’m going to let you go so I can get ready.” He stumbled over his words before he gave me a simple ‘yeah.’ I gave him a simple goodbye and hung up, tossing my phone on the bed again. I squatted next to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of black dress pants, a gray chiffon t-shirt, and my bright red blazer. After I dried my hair and put on some makeup, I pulled on a pair of black pump wedges. I grabbed my notebook and my phone and headed to the conference room off to the right of the lobby of the hotel.

        Half way through the meeting, I could feel my phone vibrate, but I decided to ignore it. It wasn’t until they released us for a break that I checked my phone. There was a text message from Mikayla, a missed call and a voicemail from Calum. I started with Mikayla’s text message: “Holy crap I hate you not being here. Like, I know you have your own office and stuff now, but it’s completely different with you not here at all. Please come back to me. Creepy Gary is hitting on me again. S.O.S Love you!” My chest jumped with a silent laugh and I typed back “Ew, punch him, tell the boss it was self-defense (just kidding don’t do that, you’ll get fired and I can’t handle that.) Love you too!”

        My breathing became labored as I stared at the notification on my voicemail. My heart pounded in my chest and my ears as I put the phone to my ear to listen to the voicemail. “Emily,” He sounded like he had had one too many drinks, but still coherent enough to speak logically, “I guess you’re still in your meeting. Thank you for all of the groceries, and you cleaned the house.” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “I – “ He paused, “Call me back.” He hung up and the voicemail ended. I looked around the room to see if anyone was looking at me and wiped a tear from my face. Before I got a chance to call Calum back, they called us back into the meeting.

        When I got back to my hotel room, the first thing I wanted to do was take my shoes off. After I tossed them to the side, I stood at the end of the bed and fell backwards, allowing myself to bounce against the mattress. I tapped on Mikayla’s contact and pressed the speaker to my ear, listening to the dial tone, until she answered, “Oh thank god you called me, Creepy Gary was talking to me and I was able to walk away because my phone was ringing. How’s the conference?” Her voice was cheery, it made the pain in my chest dissipate.

        I chuckled, “Glad I could save you. It’s alright, today was a meeting about what we are going to talk about and explore while we’re here. Although it was good information, the speaker is so monotone that I thought my head was actually going to explode.” My pointer finger and thumb rubbed the ridge above my eyebrows while Mikayla laughed.

        Mikayla cleared her throat, “Have you and Calum worked everything out?” Her voice was no longer cheery and bright, it turned serious and motherly. Never in the time that I’ve known her have I regretted telling her literally everything, but right now I do, only because it’s still an open wound.

        I swallowed hard, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. It stayed lodged in my throat as I shook my head against the bed. “No, I don’t know, Mikayla. What if he tells me it’s over and we’re done? I dropped everything for him. I have nowhere to go if this is it.” I licked my lips, keeping the tears at bay.

        Mikayla sighed, “Not that I’m saying this is the end, but if that ends up happening, which let me emphasize that I don’t think it will, you can always stay with me.” She paused and sighed again, “Have you tried to talk to him about everything that happened?”

        “No, he left me a voicemail while I was in the meeting and he sounded like he was a bit tipsy, so I’m not sure right now is the best time to talk to him.” I stopped rubbing my brow ridge and covered my face with my hand, letting my elbow fall to the side. Mikayla hummed, not in agreement, but in understanding. “Hey, I’m going to go grab some food and then I’m going to get some sleep, I’m exhausted. I’ll call you tomorrow. Avoid Creepy Gary at all costs, you hear me?” She laughed in response and said goodbye before we both hung up. I allowed my phone to fall on my chest, and closed my eyes. Even though I didn’t think tonight was the best night to talk to him, not calling him back was just going to feed the fire.

        The dial tone pierced my ear drums while I waited for Calum to pick up. When he did, there was loud music for a second and then it went completely silent before he sighed my name. “Sorry I didn’t call back,” I said in a monotone voice. “The meeting was longer than I thought it was going to be. What did you need?” He started rambling something, all of his words slurring together, making him hard to understand. I sat up and sat crisscrossed on the bed and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. Something about the food in the fridge and the yard being picked up. “Calum, you’re drunk and I can barely understand you.” He mumbled a few more things and then the call ended. “What the fuck was that?” I said to myself and tossed my phone onto the night stand. Leaving it there while I went to the restaurant in the lobby to grab some food.

        The entire trip resembled something of the first night. Meetings all day, every day, no time to really go out and see the city. The furthest I got to touring was going to the Red Lobster in Times Square for dinner on Friday night. Calum and I spent little time talking, and it was starting to drive me absolutely mad. My flight home leaves Monday night, and he flies out to their next destination on Monday morning. Whatever was keeping us from seeing each other was really starting to get on my last nerve.

Even though the office is closed on Sunday’s in LA, and most other places, we still had a meeting all day. After I was able to sit through the last meeting, the only thing I had to look forward to was getting to spend all day tomorrow getting ready to go home. For whatever reason, I didn’t feel like eating tonight, instead I went to the bar in the hotel. I was on my fourth long island iced tea and the alcohol was started to blur my thoughts. Blurring all of the ones except for the ones about Calum. Which, ironically, where the ones I was trying to blur. My fingers moved backwards in my hair, stopping half way so I could put the weight of my head in my hand. In a moment my phone was in my free hand, and I was staring at the picture of Calum and I still set as my background. My eyes closed, feeling the physical pain of not talking to him. My other hand dropped from my hair and to my phone as the alcohol dissolved my internal filter.

I sent the message without thinking, and my heart stopped after I read it to myself: “If you want to end our relationship, will you just do it? I don’t think my body or my heart can handle this much pain anymore.” I felt like an idiot for sending the message, but there’s no way to take it back. I started typing again, trying to back pedal. “I’m sorry I didn’t go and see you on tour. I fucked up, I keep thinking about how you told me I was selfish, and I fucking am. I’m so sorry, I know you hate me and probably don’t actually want to see me even if we do ever get the chance to see each other again, but just know I’m sorry. I can pack up all my things when I get home on tomorrow and be out of your life forever.” I sent the message and put my phone face down on the bar. My mouth found the straw and I finished the drink and asked for another one.

As I finished my fifth drink, I found the courage to look at my phone. I squinted when I saw a single text message from Calum. When I opened my phone, I held my breath as I realized it was a long message. As I exhaled, I started reading, “What? Emily. I don’t hate you, and I definitely don’t want to end our relationship. You are selfish, but It comes with being hurt. Yeah, I’m upset that you didn’t visit me and yeah, I’m mad that I haven’t seen you in two fucking months, but that does NOT mean we’re never going to see each other again. I know you’ve been through a lot of shit in the past, and so have I. Just because there’s a bit of a snag in our relationship doesn’t mean I don’t want to fight for it. I miss you so fucking bad. Baby, I’d wait ten years to see you again, if that’s what I’d have to do. Please don’t pack your things up, I never want you to leave.” I dropped my phone face down and held my breath to not cry in front of every person sitting in the bar. Before I broke, I asked for my check and bounced my leg to contain myself. I made it to the elevator but once the doors shut and I knew I was by myself, I broke down. Broke down to the point where I could barely stand. I squatted and put my face in my hands and tried to compose myself.

The elevator dinged and I stood up quickly, a head rush causing me to take a step back. As I hastily walked down the hallway, I pulled my hotel room key out of my pocket. The door swung open, a loud thud as it hit the wall. I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce hard enough to fall onto the floor. That’s where it stayed as I curled into a ball in the chair by the window and continued to cry the alcoholic buzz away.

The sun shining through the floor to ceiling windows behind me caused my back to heat up. People running through the airport towards their flight, while other people sat and waited for the flights to take off. I looked towards the agent stand while the gate agents shuffled to get everything ready to start loading the plane that was going to take me back to Los Angeles. My phone vibrated, a message from Mikayla expressing how happy she was that I’d be back at work in the morning. I switched over to my message thread with Calum and for the hundredth time, I read his message he sent me yesterday night. After the long message, there were a few good morning and good night messages, all from him. Maybe he knew that I didn’t know how to respond to him, even if he didn’t, I still appreciated the fact that he hadn’t given up. I glanced at the time and wondered if he was on his flight yet. Wanting to try to talk to him one more time before I got home, I put the phone to my ear as the call rang out. Multiple different options of what I could say to him ran through my mind as the call rang out. The call went to voicemail and I hung up. Nothing I wanted to say to him was voicemail appropriate. Just as I put my phone back in my pocket, they started boarding the flight.

It was late when I finally made it home, and it was weird to not be greeted by the little black and white dog who is the best company with Calum not here. Crystal had texted me earlier in the day letting me know that Calum had dropped him off there since he wasn’t sure what time I’d be getting home. I lugged my bags into the bedroom and dropped them on the bed. If I didn’t start to unpack now, I probably would never do it. As I opened my suitcase, I tossed all of my dirty clothes in the hamper in the corner of the room, then grabbed my toiletries and walked into the bathroom. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a sticky note on the bathroom mirror. Calum’s hand writing was scribbled across the note with the words “You’re beautiful” scrawled on it. After I dropped all of my thing in the sink, I grabbed the sticky note off the mirror and held it between my fingers, staring at it as if this is the only piece of him I had left. I held it to my chest as I walked out of the bathroom.

After I had set the sticky note down on my phone, I grabbed the hamper full of dirty clothes and walked down the hallway towards the laundry room. When I switched on the light, I found another sticky note sitting on the top of the washing machine. My heart fluttered as I peeled the note off to read it. “You’re amazing” scrawled on the note. My cheeks flushed and I set it to the side as I threw a load of laundry into the washing machine. Before I walked out, I grabbed the note then made my way back into the bedroom. I took a picture of the sticky notes and sent the picture to him with a message saying “Thank you, Calum. Hope you have a safe flight.” I dropped my phone onto the bed so I could finish getting ready for bed.

I crawled under the covers, after making sure the house was locked up, and grabbed my phone. A message from Calum waiting for me to read. My lips twitched into a smile as I unlocked my phone. “There’s more, hope you find them all. Just landed in London, it’s the morning here, and from what I’ve learned through my traveling is it’s night there. Good night, gorgeous. Text me when you wake up. Xx” My heart fluttered as I set my phone on the night stand and rolled over. As I placed my head on my pillow, Calum’s cologne suddenly filled my nose. Instinctually, I reached over and grabbed at the sheets. As the intoxicating scent filled my nose, I pulled myself onto his side of the bed, drowning myself in a pool of his scent. A smile stretching across my face as it lulled me to sleep.

The second my alarm went off I knew I should’ve taken today off to rest, but I needed every day I could get because I was going to visit Calum before he came home again. My hand searched for the alarm to shut it off and I sat up rubbing my tired eyes. Through squinted eyes, I reached over and grabbed my phone off the side table. My fingers lazily tapped a good morning message to Calum before I pushed myself off the bed, then stumbled my way into the bathroom. The reason I take showers in the morning is they wake me up, if I took showers at night, I probably would never function like a normal human. With that being said, this shower did absolutely nothing to wake me up.

The steam rolled out of the bathroom as I opened the door back into the bedroom. The sun was starting to come up and my head was starting to throb from the exhaustion. There was no way I could put more than ten minutes of thought into my outfit, so I pulled out a pair of black leggings, a black and white striped loose fitting t-shirt, a pair of white converse and a black blazer. Blazer’s always dress up any outfit, in my mind. I ran a brush through my hair, but let it hang so it could dry naturally, which would eventually lead to some completely uneven waves. The only amount of makeup I could bring myself to put on was some foundation, mascara, and a quick fill of my eyebrows.

After I grabbed my phone, I walked to the kitchen and my eyebrows narrowed seeing a sticky note stuck to the coffee maker, “You’re strong, just like this coffee (just press start).” I let out a chuckle and pulled the note off and pressed the start button. As the coffee brewed, I walked around the house to gather everything I needed to take back to work. Once I had everything gathered, I walked back into the kitchen and opened the cabinet where my travel mug had found its home when I wasn’t using it. On the travel mug there was another sticky note, my cheeks immediately flushing, “You are the definition of warmth (this mug keeps your coffee warm).” I chuckled at how cheesy the notes were getting, then set it with the one from the coffee maker. As I twist the cap onto my travel mug, I check the time and run to the front door to grab my bag. My bag sat on my shoulder heavily, and I flicked my hair out of my face noticing a sticky note on the door. I read it, but didn’t remove it from the door. “You’re going to do great things today.” At the end of the note was a heart, and my heart skipped a beat. I loved him so much, I just wish I had the chance to tell him.

************

Tag list: @notinthesameguey​ @viiirg0​ @thinkofmehlgh​ @another-lonely-heart​ @limer-encia​ @itsmytimetoodream​ @babyoria​ @treatallwithkindness​

[delicioussshame]

Fuck it, have some wips I’ve been trying to get back to but alas, it’s not going well.

________________________________

“Shizun… It’s Shizun, isn’t it?”

Shen Qingqiu turns towards Luo Binghe, for who else could it be? “Yes.”

Luo Binghe, is, obviously, still as devastatingly handsome as he ever was. He didn’t lose anything by switching from the traditional style to more modern fashion. Maybe, Shen Qingqiu despairs, he even gained from it. Those jeans are literally stopping traffic.

He might miss his long locks though. Short hair suits him, but it wouldn’t feel the same under his fingers.

Shen Qingqiu shakes himself back to reality. The feeling of Luo Binghe’s hair under doesn’t have anything to do with him anymore.  “Binghe seems like he did well for himself.” He has no doubt on the matter. Managing their wealth through time was a challenge, but nothing an array of trusts, shell corporations, insider knowledge and skilled lawyers couldn’t arrange. Shen Qingqiu has been living lavishly for decades. He’s sure Binghe did the same.

“So does Shizun.”

The appellation brings a smile to his lips. It’s so ridiculous. Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe had spent centuries together. In comparison, the time Shen Qingqiu taught Luo Binghe was infinitesimal. The title is meaningless.

Luo Binghe used to say that Shen Qingqiu taught him something new every day. That they could spend eternity together and he’d never learn enough from him.

That was long ago now.

“This must be similar to the era Shizun came from, isn’t it?”

“Pretty much.” It’s not quite the same. Some events went differently, some didn’t, but daily life is almost indistinguishable

Investing in Tencent still proved profitable though.

Luo Binghe is wavering, obviously wondering if he’ll dare to say whatever he’s thinking of saying.  

It’s probably not a good idea. “Well, it was nice seeing you. I’m sure you have things to do.” Shen Yuan departs.

Or tries to. He’s hindered by Luo Binghe’s grasp on his arm. “Binghe. Let go.”

Shen Qingqiu almost stumbles from the shock of seeing Luo Binghe’s eyes swell with tears for the first time in forever. His heart squeezes like Binghe was still his young and eager husband, crumbling under the slightest disapproval. Without his consent, his hand reaches up and wipes those tears away gently, the gesture so familiar it hurt. “A-Yuan, please, don’t go! Give this disciple a day, no, an evening to catch up! I will take him to the best restaurant, pay for the grandest hotel, whatever he wants, as long as he spares me a fraction of his time.”

Shen Qingqiu knows better. He can’t falter here. He can’t let Luo Binghe charm him into a nice dinner where alcohol flows until, both of them tipsy, they fall into bed again and Shen Qingqiu finds himself spending another decade in Luo Binghe’s embrace.

________________________________

Shen Qingqiu pokes the collar half-heartedly.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. The leather is of the finest quality, soft and supple under his touch. Shen Qingqiu is pretty sure he could wear it all day without feeling sore or constricted. It’s white too, so between his skin and his robe, it wouldn’t even clash. It would almost be unnoticeable, really.

By all means, it should be black; Luo’s Binghe color. The point, after all, was to claim what was his. A subtle color was an allowance most weren’t afforded.

Then again, most submissives don’t spend their lives pretending they’re not.

He knows the original Shen Qingqiu didn’t manage to fool them all. Yue Qingyuan must know, and he’s pretty sure Mu Qingfang wasn’t fooled either.

Luo Binghe told him he always knew. That he could always feel something different from his shizun.

It’s not that surprising. Luo Binghe had been written as the ultimate dominant, bending every lady to his will with a word. Even if the version of him Shen Qingqiu had grown familiar with was a lot more masochistic than he had any right to be, he still had an intrinsic knowledge of what made everyone tick, the way the best dominants did.

Maybe that’s why he kept things simple. They both had to figure it out to begin with. More formal scenes could wait. Or, you know, just not happen. Shen Qingqiu is pretty sure that way would have been easier to handle.

________________________________

Mu Qingfang must really care for Liu Qingge’s wellbeing.

It’s the only reason Shen Yuan can think of for his presence every time Liu Qingge shows up for treatment, which is often. Shizun doesn’t shadow him when he’s with other patients. He can take care of most casual wounds and infections thrown his way with ease. The light cut on Liu Qingge’s arm barely merits treatment, to be honest. Not that Shen Yuan is going to tell Liu Qingge of all people that. He’s going to clean the wound, bandage it and send him on his merry way without a word about wasting the time of one of Mu Qingfang’s most senior disciples.

“Here, all done. Liu-shibo should be completely healed before tomorrow.” His cultivation would have taken care of it anyway.

Liu Qingge nods.

“Shen Yuan has other tasks to see to. If Liu-shixiong feels better, he should return to his peak. I’m sure his students missed him.”

Liu Qingge frowns at Mu Qingfang. “They don’t. They’re busy with their training.”

“Then Shixiong should go help them.”

Liu Qingge glares at Mu Qingfang, to Shen Yuan’s bafflement. Maybe they really don’t get along because Mu Qingfang doesn’t trust Liu Qingge not to create trouble everywhere he goes?

Liu Qingge stops glaring at Mu Qingfang and turns to Shen Yuan. “I’ll be back.”

Shen Yuan cringes interiorly. “Liu-shibo should take care of himself better instead of counting on this disciple’s meagre skills.” Please, Liu Qingge, what’s the point of having saved your life if you keep hurting yourself? You’ll be dead again before Luo Binghe turns evil!

Well, he won’t if Shen Yuan has a say about it, but let’s just admit he’s not very confident in his chances.

“Your skills are fine.”

Shen Yuan blinks. “…Thank you.” At least he’s being appreciated?

Mu Qingfang sighs as Liu Qingge departs. “Liu-shixiong isn’t a bad man, but he sometimes doesn’t know how to interact with people correctly.”

“Liu-shibo has never been improper with me.” He can be rude and demanding, but nothing Shen Yuan can’t handle. He’s dealt with disciples wounded in both body and pride that were much more of a handful.

Mu Qingfang stares at him. “Are you certain?”

Shen Yuan is confused. “Yes?”

Mu Qingfang… pats his head? What? Mu Qingfang isn’t known to be very physically demonstrative. “Good. You have a tendency to attract trouble, so I was worried.”

Excuse you, Shen Yuan does not “attract trouble”. Shen Yuan takes order from the System sometimes, that’s different. It’s not his fault he gets caught into weird plot lines all the time!

And why did he got retconned onto Qian Cao Peak anyway? What can he do on Qian Cao that he couldn’t on Qing Jing with the protagonist? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

At least Mu Qingfang is nice enough. “I’m sorry if I cause Shizun problems. I will strive to do better.” Not that he knows how to. He didn’t know anything about traditional medicine when he came here, and he still has to restrain himself when something particularly unscientific comes up. He’s been doing his best to fit in for years, since his very weird transmigration into an original character.

“I know you will. Go back to your duties now.”

Shen Yuan salutes his shizun and returns to work. Injuries in a sect of their magnitude are frequent. Shen Yuan is busy.

____________

“Shen-shidi!”

Shen Yuan smiles at his young shixiong, the protagonist himself, one Luo Binghe. He can’t help it. He’s cute! Shen Yuan can almost see his tail wagging! “Hello, Luo-shixiong.”

“Does Shidi have some time to teach me?”

Shen Yuan cannot say no to those puppy eyes. “Of course. Please come here.” He doesn’t. He’ll have to work late tonight to make up for the time he spends on teaching Luo Binghe.

It’s worth it. Everything he can do to help Luo Binghe is one more step of the “Save the sect from annihilation at the hands of the darkened protagonist” quest.

“Is Luo-shixiong doing well today?”

Luo Binghe shakes his head shyly.

Shen Yuan pushes the subject aside. They both know what Shen Yuan really asked: did Luo Binghe get bullied by his fellow disciples or his teacher today, and does he need Shen Yuan to look over it?

This is how they first met. Shen Yuan saw a young boy with a bruised face and favouring his right side, and instantly offered to help him. The boy tried to say no, but Shen Yuan is Mu Qingfang’s disciple. He has been taught that it is his duty to help those in need.

He had instantly recognised the wounds as the result of a fight, not training. As the healers of the sect, Qian Cao Peak disciples were expected to remain neutral in the context of peak rivalries. He couldn’t protect the young disciple himself, not without compromising his position. All he could do was offer his services.

“My name is Shen Yuan. If you ever need care again, please ask for me at Qian Cao Peak. Can I ask what your name is?”

“My name is Luo Binghe, of Qing Jing Peak.”

It had taken all of Shen Yuan’s strength of will not to gape at this admission. He knew Luo Binghe had arrived at the sect, but he had never thought they would meet like this, and that he would unwillingly create a link between them! Go him!

It had worked too! Two weeks later, Shen Yuan had been pulled from his normal studies by a worried shidi of his, who took him to a Luo Binghe with a sprained wrist, a broken finger and a black eye. Shen Yuan had instantly started to work on it, sending his qi through Luo Binghe as best he could while tending to his wounds.

Luo Binghe had thanked him from his help with a troubling wide-eyed awe that made Shen Yuan want to keep him in his room and feed him nice things. He restated his original offer to help Luo Binghe whenever he needed, which ended up being way more often than even Shen Yuan, who had never liked Shen Qingqiu to say the least, thought decent.

“Does Shidi think he could teach me? This way I wouldn’t be such a burden to him. If only my cultivation was better…”

Shen Yuan’s heart broke. Don’t worry, you’ll be the best cultivator some day! “I’d be happy to help.”

Luo Binghe had lighted up like the sun piercing through the clouds.

(Shen Yuan’s determination to save the sect from Luo Binghe might have switched to saving Luo Binghe from himself.)

Luo Binghe has been showing up regularly since then, soaking up all of Shen Yuan’s knowledge at frankly frightening speed. Hopefully it will be useful to him when he’s alone in the Abyss.

If he took the opportunity to correct a few of his cultivation bases, it’s not like Shen Qingqiu would ever find out.

________________________________ 

Luo Binghe still holds the favor the prince consort bestowed upon him close to his chest at all times.

Even if all the court knew the prince consort could defend his honor himself, it would have been improper. Of course it fell on his knights to defend Shen Qingqiu while the King Yue Qingyuan was away.

Luo Binghe had intended to return the token as soon as he had unseated the misbeliever from his horse, but blinded by Shen Qingqiu’s smile, his hand felt down still wrapped around the embroidered handkerchief.

He needs to return it before its disappearance is noticed. If someone doubted Shen Qingqiu’s loyalty because of his failings, he would seek penance until his death found him.

“The prince consort has allowed you entrance.”

(…)

Zheng Yang lies between them, the symbol of the vow Luo Binghe intends to respect.

Shen Qingqiu is completely still on the other side of the bed, white night clothes covering his whole body.

Luo Binghe prays for the salvation of his damned soul. He cannot betray the king’s trust by befouling his beloved.

[sunkissedpages]

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves- Part Twenty-Six || Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: here it is!! finally!! the whole chapter!!!

Prompt: Enemies to lovers au (from @marvelellie‘s 1k writing challenge!!)

Summary: You work as a production assistant for the Spider-Man: Far From Home crew, or rather as Tom Holland’s handler. The two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of previous smut, lil bit of angst

Word Count: 3.2k

Series Masterlist

You sobered up immediately as ice clattered against the hardwood floor, realizing what you’d just done. Everyone was looking at you now and you heard several audible gasps and whispers behind you from people who undoubtedly recognized Tom. 

You swallowed harshly, fighting the wave of nausea that washed over you. You were his handler and you were making a scene. You were supposed to do the exact opposite.

For the first time since you’d met Tom, you were worried about how this was going to make him look rather than yourself and it made your heart sink to your stomach, because you knew you couldn’t just pretend you didn’t care about him. 

Tom’s curls fell in front of his face, sticking to his forehead and dripping water onto his clothes. You noticed that he was dressed up like Z had been, wearing a navy blazer with an expensive t-shirt underneath and matching slacks. He must’ve been coming from the same event she was going to. You winced as you watched water droplets fall from his hair onto his nice leather shoes and felt like you might throw up all over them. 

You expected him to be angry, to walk away, give up on you completely like you were so used to him doing. But he just shook his hair out of his eyes and gave you a lopsided grin.

“Alright I kind of deserved that.”

You gave him a look. “Kind of?”

He laughed. “I definitely deserved that.”

“That’s all you have to say to me?”

Tom slicked back his wet hair and eyed you carefully. “No, but you’re drunk. I think we should just get you back to the hotel. We can talk in the morning”

“I don’t want to go back with you,” you said stubbornly, crossing your arms over your chest defiantly.

“Y/n, you can’t walk back by yourself, not like this, so you’re stuck with me. Unless you want me to call Harrison?” he offered, holding up his cellphone.

You felt your eyes fill with tears at the mention of his name and blinked furiously, trying to hold them back.

“No,” you choked out, “please don’t call him. I don’t want to bother him. He shouldn’t have to pretend to care about me anymore.”

“Y/n, you know he cares about you.”

“Then why did he say those things about me?” you cried, letting the tears fall now. 

Tom’s face softened and he reached and hand out to comfort you, but stopped just before his fingertips brushed your shoulder, seeming to remember that people were watching.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I think he was just hurt.”

“Why did you say those things about me?”

Despite saying he didn’t want to talk while you were drunk he breathed out a sigh and looked at the floor. “I was hurt.”

You wiped your eyes and nodded with a strained chuckle. “Right.”

“Y/n,”

“Come on, let’s go,” you muttered and pushed past him, purposely shouldering him on the way by.

The bell on the door dinged twice as you stormed out and Tom followed you. You walked as fast as you could in your inebriated state, knowing Tom would catch up to you soon enough, but not wanting him to just yet. 

The night sky was overcast. The clouds obscured the moonlight making the sky look utterly obsidian behind them. You knew the stars were shining bright over other cities of the world, but here they shied away even on the clearest of nights. You wondered how they looked in London right now, you wondered how they looked back at home.

The air was chilly and your tears felt icy against your cheeks as you walked. Your nose was beginning to run too just to add to it all and you wanted to laugh at how pathetic you must look. A drunk, crying, blubbering mess. Yep, you’d peaked.

You were beginning to wonder why Tom hadn’t caught up with you yet when you felt something being draped over your shoulders and jumped, before realizing it was just him wrapping you in his blazer. You looked at him questioningly.

“You were shivering,” Tom said simply.

“Thanks.”

You slipped your arms through the sleeves and wrapped it tighter around you. You hadn’t noticed how cold you’d gotten before Tom said anything, but you were grateful for the warmth his jacket provided.

The two of you walked in silence down the sidewalk, only opening your mouths to mumble sorries to pedestrians trying to get past. It wasn’t an awkward silence like you were so familiar with filling the space between you now, but a deflated, distant silence, and somehow that was even more unwelcome.

The walk back to the hotel seemed to be longer than the walk there and you were having trouble keeping your balance. Tom tried to help you, but you swatted him away and insisted you could fucking walk just fine, thank you. He backed off and watched you stumble helplessly with pursed lips and crossed arms, likely wondering what had led him to this moment. He didn’t interfere again until you tripped and scraped your knee on the pavement. You sat on the ground, dumbfounded, watching blood run down your leg. That was when he literally scooped you up off the ground and began carrying you bridal style back to the hotel.

“Tom, put me down,” you demanded, wiggling in his arms.

He was stronger than you remembered and held you firmly against him so you wouldn’t fall. “Y/n, you can’t even walk.”

“Bullshit.”

“Love, you’re drunk.”

You kicked in his arms, trying to wriggle free. “God, let me go!”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“I don’t want your help!” you cried, not caring about the people on the street who had stopped to watch. “I hate you!”

Tom froze and you almost expected him to drop you, but he didn’t. For a long, painful second you stared at each other like you were both looking at a stranger. His big, brown eyes were wide with shock and hurt and you knew you had to tell him.

You crumpled against his chest in defeat. “That’s not true,” you admitted and felt him relax just a little beneath you. “I...kind of opposite of hate you.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

Tom held you closer, tighter in that moment (if that were even possible) like he was afraid that if he let go you’d vanish into thin air. You were stuttering over your words and he shushed you, stroking your hair lightly.

“We don’t have to do this now,” he said. “Let’s wait until you’re sober.”

You looked up at him again, brows furrowed. “No, you got to do yours when you were drunk, it’s only fair.”

Tom laughed and your entire body shook as he did. “Go on then.”

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes so you wouldn’t have to look at him. “You were wrong.” You opened your eyes again to gauge his reaction but only saw the confused expression on his face.

“That’s it?” he sounded a little amused. “Are you going to elaborate?”

Your head was so cloudy that you weren’t sure if you’d be able to form the right words. “You were wrong when you told Harrison that I don’t feel the same way about you. Because I kind of do.”

“You kind of do or you do?” Tom asked with a smirk, cocking his head to the side.

“I don’t know, it’s all so confusing,” you muttered, fighting to keep your eyes open. “You’ve been kind of a dick lately.”

-

Your head was pounding when you finally opened your eyes. You couldn’t tell what time it was, but you knew it had to be the next day because the sunlight was streaming in through the windows. Nausea bubbled up in your stomach and you instinctively rolled over to the side of your bed where a trashcan had been placed, but only dry-heaved into it. You moaned and fell back onto the pillows, knowing you must’ve thrown everything up last night. Last night. You didn’t remember much of it. You knew you had been at a bar, you knew Tom had come to the bar, and then nothing. It was all black after that.

You racked your brain for any small detail to cling onto but came up empty handed. This was the second time you’d blacked out from drinking too much and it was starting to worry you- it wasn’t a good habit to start. Not to mention it was annoying as hell. Not being able to remember a single detail of the night was going to eat you alive.

You sighed and knew you’d only make yourself miserable if you kept dwelling on it and rolled back over towards your nightstand to grab your phone. Maybe some messages from the night before could give you a hint about what had happened.

When your hand hit cold marble instead of your cellphone you sat up in confusion. Your phone wasn’t on the nightstand charging like it should have been. You were really starting to hate drunk y/n. 

Looking around only disoriented you more. Your hotel room was a mess. Clothes were everywhere and they didn’t even look like clothes you owned. They looked like...Tom’s clothes. You whipped your head to the other side of the bed in a panic, disregarding your hangover for the time being. Tom was lying next to you fast asleep and shirtless, with the covers bunched up around his waist.

Before you could do anything else he shifted and stretched and blinked open his eyes, smiling lazily at you. 

“Morning, love.”

You felt your eyes get wide in panic and threw the covers off of you, hoping, praying you weren’t completely naked. The reality was almost worse. You were wearing one of Tom’s t-shirts and a pair of his plaid boxers. You bit your lip and wiggled your fingers and toes, trying to see if anything felt different. Your muscles were sore, but it wasn’t anything unusual for a hangover.

You finally turned over towards Tom whose eyes were still on you, watching you move around in confusion. His curls were tousled from the night before (whatever that may have entailed) and you tried not to pay attention to his raspy morning voice, or the freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks that had become more defined from countless hours in the sun, or the way his jaw was clenched in concern.

He cocked his head and squinted his eyes at you like he did when he was trying to read you, but bit down on his bottom lip when you didn’t say anything.

You looked back up at him and nervously pushed your hair back, waiting for him to explain, but he didn’t. You both expected the other to break the silence, letting the fragile moment between you drag on for what seemed like forever.

“Did we...” you trailed off and gestured between the two of you.

Tom’s confused expression crumpled into one of hurt that you would even suggest it. “No, of course not. What kind of person do you think I am? Y/n, you were so drunk! And I’m guessing you don’t remember, but you weren’t very happy with me.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay good. I’m still mad at you. I don’t want to have sex with you again yet.”

“Yet?” Tom asked with a smirk. “So you’re saying eventually?”

You flopped back onto the bed and smushed a pillow over your face. “Did I say that out loud? I think I’m still a little drunk.”

Tom pulled the pillow from your arms gently so he could see your face and beamed. “Nope, no take backs. All the alcohol is out of your system by now. You don’t get to use that excuse anymore.” You groaned as he dropped down on top of you, crushing you with all of his weight.

“Get off, Tom,” you said, struggling under his limp body. “I’m so hungover this isn’t funny!”

“I think it’s pretty funny,” he mumbled into your hair. 

“Tom, for real, I’m so nauseous, unless you want to get thrown up on I’d move.”

He relented finally and rolled back over onto his rightful side of the bed with grunt. You watched from the corner of your eye as he sighed and stretched his arms above his head, stomach muscles flexing and the waistband of his black sweats peeking out from under the covers. You felt a familiar longing twist in your stomach and groaned internally. Even when he was an asshole you still wanted him.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Tom asked after a moment. He had never been very good at letting things go.

You paused for a second to think back to last night again, wondering if the fact that you were more awake would help your memory, but there was nothing. “I was at a bar, Z showed up, we talked, she called you, and then you showed up.”

“That’s it?” Tom asked, quirking an eyebrow.

You nodded, then paused. “Also I think I might have dumped water on your head.”

He looked amused. “I was wondering if you’d remember that.”

You grimaced. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“No, I totally deserved it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yeah well, drunk me is a lot bolder than sober me.”

Tom laughed. “I’ve noticed.”

You ignored him and sat back up, rolling your neck to try and relieve the stiffness from your muscles. 

“You should take some more ibuprofen,” Tom said and leaned over to the nightstand on his side of the bed to grab the pill bottle.

“I’ve already taken some?” you asked, hating yourself for hours in your memory you couldn’t account for.

He popped open the cap and shook a few pills into the palm of his hand before offering them to you. “Yeah,” he said with a tight smile. 

You could tell he was fighting a frown and it only made you wonder about the night before even more. What had happened between the two of you? Had you argued? Had you accidentally said something you didn’t mean? You took a deep breath and popped the pills into your mouth, swallowing them dry. 

“Woah love, don’t you want some water with those?” 

You shook your head and stuck your tongue out to show him you’d swallowed the ibuprofen.

“Well you need to drink regardless. You’re not going to start feeling better if you don’t.” He put the bottle of pills back on the nightstand and passed you a half empty bottle of water that had also been sitting there, most likely also from last night.

“What are you, my mom?” You scoffed, but took the water from him thankfully. 

“Oh please I couldn’t deal with you for twenty-something years.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you chugged the water. “Really?”

He pretended to consider it. “Mmmm, maybe with some bribing.”

“What kind of bribing?” you asked suspiciously, knowing that with men bribes meant blowjobs at least fifty percent of the time.

Tom shrugged. “We can start with coffee. You need it.”

“I need it?” you asked, affronted.

“Which one of us is hungover right now?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll call room service. You want breakfast?”

“Darling, do you even need to ask?”

You smiled to yourself at the nickname, then frowned, remembering you were supposed to be mad at him.

“What time is it?” you wondered aloud. “Is it even breakfast time?”

“It’s a little after seven,” Tom chuckled. “We don’t have to be at work for a few more hours.”

You yawned. “Maybe I should just go back to sleep then.”

“No, I’m hungry,” Tom complained. “And you need something on your stomach.”

“Ugh, fine whatever I’m up.”

You groaned out loud this time and threw the covers off of the lower half of your body to stand. You glanced at your reflection in the mirror on the wall and chuckled. You looked like the classic walk of shame. Tom’s boxers were a little loose on you and had slipped down your hips a bit so that your waist was exposed. The t-shirt was one of Peter’s cheesy science shirts Tom had stolen from set (the physics is theoretical, fun is real one).

“You like the shirt?” Tom asked with a grin.

“Oh yeah, love it. You know, you could get fined for stealing from set.”

He smirked. “You gonna tell on me?”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” you teased, “especially since I get to reap the benefits of your crime.”

“Hey, I don’t know that I would go so far as to call it a crime,” Tom protested, sitting up on the bed.

“If the shoe fits.” You shrugged and made your way over to the phone. You rifled through some of the drawers in the dresser for the menu and read all of the choices aloud to Tom so he could pick what he wanted. 

“How do you want your coffee?” you asked as you reached for the phone.

Tom looked up from his phone and scrunched up his face. “You’ve been my handler for how many months now?”

“Key word: handler. Not assistant.”

“Fuck off, you memorized it two weeks into filming.”

“Christ, I don’t know how your mom dealt with you for twenty-something years.”

You ignored whatever Tom quipped back at you and dialed the phone to order. Afterwards, you began searching around the hotel room for your clothes, wondering where you or Tom had put them the night before.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for my clothes. I should change before room service shows up.”

“Oh, uh, I hope you don’t mind I sent your clothes out to be cleaned, you kind of got sick on them last night.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you groaned, putting your head in your hands and making your way back over to the bed where you sat down on the edge. “You’re always taking care of me when I’m sloppy drunk it’s fucking embarrassing.”

“Y/n, you shouldn’t be apologizing to me,” Tom said earnestly. “I should be apologizing to you!” His entire demeanor changed suddenly, and he looked much more serious than he had a second ago. You shrunk into yourself a little as he scooted closer to you on the bed, not knowing if you were ready to hear what he was about to say. “Fuck, what I said to you when I was drunk wasn’t fair to you. And then I avoided you like an asshole because I was scared. And the shit I said when I was in Harrison’s hotel room was complete bullshit.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “It wasn’t just sex. I don’t think it ever was to me.” You stiffened as he spoke, unconsciously holding your breath. “I was just lying to myself, hoping that by pretending that that’s all it was would make me start to believe it.”

You stared into Tom’s big brown eyes in disbelief. Here he was, the last person you ever thought you’d hear those words from, sitting in front of you, lips a little chapped, cheeks flushed, soft curls falling into his eyes, perfect. Looking back at you the same way you were sure you were looking at him. He’d said the same words once before, but this time he didn’t have alcohol as a shield. He was being completely vulnerable, and you could tell he was terrified.

“You used to hate me,” you whispered. “What changed?”

“Everything.”

dude you guys I’m SO sorry this took so long but it was kind of a well-needed break!! everything is so crazy busy at my summer training program so I might update more sporadically, but I miss writing so frickin much rip anyway lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!

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