#the funny part is that this has been drafted for a whole month lol. all of these drabbles are from september | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanamgi · 1 year

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┈➤ Summary: He was the sun in your universe, you just wished you were a fraction of that for his.

◦ Strangers/friends to….

◦ 17k+ words

◦ Rating: 18+

◦ Pairing: mehcanicJKxFemReader

➤ Warnings: ┃ Swearing, DomJK, face sitting/riding, lustful makeout, they have sex in the shop, seggs on the car lol, teasing, dirty talk, grinding, he spits on it, sloppy eating out, ┃Mutual pining, Jungkook is an assho*le lowkey, reader is very much naive, frustration between the two, emotionally constipated Koo, implied traumatic past relationships, Jimin is the best friend JK needs, Hoseok also a good friend, idk I wrote this during a time I was frustrated with someone, and in essence this kinda bout how she did me dirty but obviously this is 100 more dramticized for the audience hehe

HELLO: I really wanted to release it's his first time MONTHS back but literally uni has hit me like a truck I can't seem to escape exam szn at all (pls help) but the hype is dying down im in my final semster of first year (more exams yay) but ill get to have a long break after. That being said I hope you enjoy this, it was in my draft for almost 11 months now, so lmk what you think don't be shy and please like, share, reblog <3

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Finally it was time.

You were beyond ecstatic to go and visit the shop again, the oil in your car finally signalling that it needed a refill, so why not bring it to your favourite mechanic? It was last summer that your car had broken down on the highway, needing a whole new engine and it ended up getting towed into a mechanic shop just off the 406. You were tired, exhausted, just trying to get back to your apartment from spending the weekend at your parent's house.

Your parents missed you but you missed the little growly cat you had at home, -Mr. Snuggles fur- (the most fluffiest, cutest, grumpy, old, ginger cat you had waiting to welcome you home) if it wasn’t for him you probably would have ended up jumping off the bridge near the highway from embarrassment. The tow trucker guy had managed to crack in a few not subtle jabs on the old thing, but seriously it isn’t your fault that you can’t afford a 2020 mercedes benz Sue you! besides you knew jack shit about cars, it wasn't your problem. But that wasn’t even the good part, the mechanic fixing it was a very attractive, very handsome man. Pretty privilege really does exist because you let the shit he said slide, to focus on his handsome figure.

Frankly, you had bigger problems to deal with, like; your job: when the sketches for the new Facebook advertisement were due, what colours would be more appealing to people, how the advertisement should be perceived as funny rather then serious, the difference between maroon and burgundy-god you really had bigger problems. You really hadn’t thought about your engine at all, you just filled your car with gas and drove it to where you needed to throughout the years. When you look back to when you bought it, you grimace, the whole process was really sketchy. DAMMIT!! You should have taken your dad or hired someone to help you find a suitable low-maintenance car. Yet here you were again, it’s been six months since the first night you got your car towed here and kept coming back whenever there was a slight squeak to it. Some may think you're very passionate and caring for your car, maybe well off since you keep coming in to get unnecessary shit fixed. But that's not the case at all, the secret was…..you were totally, (and delusionally) utterly, in love with the mechanic you’ve seemed to befriend over the months coming here.

Currently sitting on the stool he pulled out for you, you watch him tweak the engine's air pump while you sigh dreamily.

He wore denim overalls and a wife-beater underneath, the top of it tied around his tiny waist. You could see the beautiful glaze of his honey muscles, –sinewy lean, and big—skin that glimmered from his sweat. Your imagination grows fast when he squats and the muscles of his thighs bulge slightly, god you were drooling. He was so handsome, tall, muscular, and- “..... Hello?” he called for your attention, the fourth time now..apparently and you blink embarrassed. Slightly jumping at his soft voice, sitting upright, you rise from the stool. “Oh- s- sorry I didn’t hear you” you blushed lightly, feeling your face heat up.

“Seemed like you were out there” he refers to you dozing off, you chuckle lightly.

“Something like that” you mumbled, pushing some strands of hair behind your back. He turns to you with a charming smile, a wrench in his veiny grip and you gulp. Your gaze slowly lingers from his tight grip to his face, soft lips pulled upwards into a cute pout, such sweet eyes forming crescents from the effects of his smile, your favourite type of smile. You’ve always wondered how it would feel to poke the little moles underneath his chin, or on top of his lip, maybe stick a finger into his cute dimple. Your fantasies run faster and faster and you almost miss what he says again.

“I changed the oil and fixed the squeaking, it’s probably gonna happen again and I don't want you to keep coming down here to pay ridiculous money to get it fixed so let me show you,” he waved you over. You frowned,- did he not want to see you anymore?

“Aren’t you supposed to advertise your business and not push away the customers?” You lightheartedly joke while he snorts.

Walking over you stop right in front of him, he was a mere 5 inches taller than you and the smell of oil and cologne wafted up your nose. It was a weird combination but it smelled so good, a little rusty but it was divinely masculine, the type of scent you would want to bury your face into, and sleep and bask in all night. The kind of scent that gives enough comfort and warmth. The scent is laced with maybe Dior perfume, metal rust, and the leftover remnants of cigarettes buds– that he smokes on his breaks.

“Okay see right here this little tube wrapped in the tin?” he asked, gesturing to the engine, you nodded. “You're going to take a wrench and twist it clockwise,” he demonstrates.

“I don't own a wrench,” you deadpan and Jungkook chuckles, he’s very amused to say the least, light airy laughter leaving his lips.

“You can have this one, I have plenty” he smiles cheekily and you almost groan. It was like he was trying to get rid of you, you swear.

“And then you're done, if it doesn't budge, grease it with the oil you bought last week,” he says and you nod, wanting to stay near his body warmth. He looks down at your pouty lips and places a hand underneath your chin.

“ ‘.....’ this is going to save you money trust me” he reassures–it wasn’t a way of shooing you out he assures. Jungkook was just concerned with your superfluous way of spending your money. He lifts your head up and your heart races a million times faster, breath hitching inside your throat.

“I know but you would do it for free if I came in, right?” you ask and he giggles, you swore your heart stopped at the airy- supple sound, it was adorable.

“Yeah, but what if you come in and I'm not here? Then what….. plus coming all this way is a lot,” he reasons and you sigh nodding your head. He was right, it was a lot of time, a lot of money to spend too. Your ulterior motives were not really a subtle secret anymore either, you're sure he is aware of your crush on him. You did spend so much gas money coming here and then money for getting random shit that didn't need fixing to be repaired.

“C’mon don't sulk,” he taps your nose and you finally crack a smile. You loved it when he played with you, cradled your face for any injuries he suspects whenever you come in with a busted mirror or a dented corner of the car. His light touches on your elbow guiding you, or the hovering arm over your lower back that does not creep down in a way to respect you. You want to see him more though, see him watch you, or how your gaze shows twinkles and stars when looking at him, and you know you are not subtle, he even teases you about it from time to time. You want to feel his skin under your palms, on you, under him over him–you're getting carried away.

“Okay but you should come get some lunch with me, if you aren't busy of course, maybe during your break or when your shift is done, or another day if you really busy I don't mind honestly-” you stop rambling to check his reaction, he has a stupid bunny grin on his face, eyes on yours while you heat up from embarrassment.

You weren't asking him out, you were only asking him to lunch. The last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable, you knew he was not interested in you with the way he approaches you’re mild confessions, or how he ignores the obvious yearning and longing in your gaze. You know he ignored the little twinkles and fairy dust shooting out of your orbs to him because you are so sure that the energy from the power of falling for this man has created this fiery light in your eyes– you can see it yourself. You can feel the weird tension, or maybe it’s just you or he just ignores it really well. Hopefully.

“I finish my shift in an hour, I have a few cars to wrap up and send off…..” He trails off, eyes shifting down to yours.

He watches the way your face falls, and your body sulk into a frown–he doesn’t want to disappoint you after all, you were so fragile he was afraid of hurting you. “Do you wanna help me and we can go out after?” he asks with a smirk and you feel your heart tug at some strings, the light coming back into your face. You nod eagerly and he mumbles a ‘great’ under his breath.

—

An hour later after helping Jungkook with the cars, (mainly passing him tools and getting him water, when he needed it) you both sit in a little diner near your apartment. It was an 80’s themed diner that had chequered floors and race car seats, funky colours and lighting. Jeon fit right in with his mechanic outfit, but you on the other hand had basic light-washed flare jeans and a basic tube top. You both ordered and talked randomly with one another, it wasn’t your first time going out for a friendly lunch with him, at least that’s what he thought. You both were on a friendly lunch date until one of the waitresses mistakes you both for a couple and Jeon was quick to correct her. You sigh mentally, wishing you could just tell him how you feel, yet another part of you thinks that he knows and that he’s just been ignoring your shameless flirtation. You would never be able to recover from the humiliation of him rejecting you, nor would your heart be able to take the defeat so you settle with being friends, for now—

You behave yourself and eat the food you both ordered in peace, you’d never allow yourself to cross that line; because real life isn’t like the books you read, the images and dreams you have, and people aren't what you make them out to be. You knew this.

You always looked at the people in your life as the potential they can be, and not for who they truly are. You’ve learned the hard way when you’ve been met with disappointment and a broken heart one too many times. But you couldn't help it, you couldn't help but see people for what they could be, and that in itself shows just how vulnerable you are. You were susceptible when it came to someone else’s feelings and always tried to be as thoughtful and empathic to how someone feels and why they are the way they are, thus making excuses as to their actions.

But then again, you did set up that unrealistic expectation of him long before you had even had a conversation with him. The inner hopeless romantic in you who thinks of life as the galaxy, people as balls of sunshine, and earth as a huge ball of fluff with people who have the potential to be the sun, and the stars.

The man right in front of you….

Man

Slopingly eating away at his burger, he was the sun in your solar system. You’d like to think he has his own planet, beautiful and soft like him. Maybe on his planet lived cats like Mr. Snuggle Fur and had tulip fields every couple miles you’d walk down it. Water as clear as glass, blueish-green colour, and maybe people as cute and kind-hearted as Jungkook, that resided on that planet. Even though the way he usually dressed was the entire opposite of how he was, you hoped that at least the way you imagined him was just as beautiful as his plant

“Are you gonna finish that?” Jeon asks, pointing to the half-eaten burger you were gonna end up taking home, but with one look at his big doe-eyes you end up pushing the plate towards him. His face instantly brightens, taking a bite out of the burger with a grin on his face.

He was your favourite planet you’ve decided.

“Thanks,” he smiles, mouth stuffed full of food, you giggle dismissing him with a hand wave. You get the waiter to bring back the check and you see Jungkook’s eyes widen when you pass the card over.

“What are you doing?” his voice is surprised, loud. You grin at him.

“You’ll get the next one,” you simply reply, paying and packing the leftovers. Jeon scoffs, giving you a pout. “I don’t mind paying when it comes to you, as you’ve noticed” you tease and he gives you a playful glare.

A stare that tells you not to go there, and your heart squeezing tightly in your ribcage.

“Let’s get you home, it’s getting late” He walks out, and you trail behind him with a soft smile. Your hearts hurting already.

—

Now back home you decide on a quick shower and to sleep in a t-shirt 4 sizes too big, courtesy of the cheap Walmart men's section. You sigh on your bed, scrolling through the contacts on your phone until you decide to stalk Jeon on Instagram. It was something that you did often, something that was a part of your nightly routine actually- before you would go to bed you would stalk his Instagram account. It was aesthetically pleasing, pictures of him on his motorcycle, or in his garage fixing cars. It was mainly black or white themed–that bad boy dark aesthetic. Occasional pictures of his Doberman running through the grass, and him kissing his mom on the cheek in what looks like a Christmas dinner, with the table set, and a tree in the background.

You smile, the warmth of bubbles brew up in the pit of your stomach, and butterflies erupt inside you tugging on the veins that pump the blood into your heart and down your body. You had such hopeless feelings, ever since he fixed your car at the mechanic shop that night back from your parent's house- you’ve always come back to him. That night he had given you food and his large grey denim jacket to keep you warm while he fixed the boot crack of an engine that you had. You felt oddly warm and safe, even though he was a complete stranger at the time. He joked and talked to you, even drove you home that night in his car because he needed to order some parts for your engine.

Not to mention he was also completely and utterly hot, so handsome to the point that you think you would die from staring at him for too long, and oh god- oh god his smile was the most divine, heartwarming, pussy clenching, adorable thing in the world. Little bunny teeth, plump bottom lip, faint red-tinted lips stretched into an up-pull direction. God, you were down bad.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You were back at the auto shop, much to Jungkook’s and your bank account's dismay. Only because he didn’t like you spending money on unnecessary fixes, he knows how anxious you get when your car so much as makes a squeak— scared of getting into an accident with the old junk. Jeon was always expecting you to come by the shop at least once a week, this time complaining about how the wrench he let you borrow wasn’t turning the tinned-covered canister in the engine. Helping you replace it again, he sends you off—curtly nodding his head while you wave, your wide eyes, starry.

They were two brown orbs that he has grown accustomed to, grown used to watching his every move and sometimes let it slip down his body on a hot summer day when he has his frame out of his tank top, or his legs free from the confinements of his overalls. He likes teasing you most times when he invites you to sit on a stool and talk to him while he fixes parts–manoeuvres around the car to assemble, and dismantle. Sometimes he curls his biceps slightly in front of you, tightly wrapping his hand around a wrench that did not need that much force whatsoever. You got flustered easily and he loved to see you pat down the warmth of your hue-tinted cheeks, or hum along to the song all of a sudden—all an act to calm down your beating heart he thinks.

He knows your act of coming here to the shop is to secretly ogle at him, you shamelessly letting out the crush you have on him in other forms—which is pretty obvious anyways—but Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t want to embarrass you. Plus he loves your company, and your rambling about your co-workers, the food you bring in, and Mr snuggle Paws or whatever the name of your cat was—he appreciated it all. He valued the friendship you both have seemed to build throughout the months. You were a very wise, smart, beautiful woman—and he’d be damned to think he’s never seen you in that light. You were sexy, yes. But he’s never let his imagination broaden outside the area of this auto shop, the barricades on his heart work extra hard to block out the cute sounds of your giggles, or the way your hand comes up to part your soft curls behind your ear— and the way you ramble about random things in hopes to entertain Jungkook while he works— he found all of these things about you endearing and adorable. This is part of the reason why Jungkook had not tried to initiate a move, a hangout, or anything more than the friendly and respectful hug he parts you with whenever you leave the shop, or whatever restaurant you both choose to eat at once in a while.

You were dangerous for his heart, he can feel the barbed wires he put on them years ago-loosen from time to time and it only happens in your presence, and the only time he felt the flutters in his stomach and the pulse in his heart quicken was with his ex. The one who has humiliated him broke him and made him barb up his heart to be a clueless fucker who has no hope, no expectation, no interest in love anymore. He didn’t believe that loving someone was enough for anyone, just love is never enough. No one in his eyes had the potential to be worthy of him, but there’s you. You who he thinks may have the potential, maybe. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t want to discover it. He doesn’t want to expect anything from you because he thinks you’ll disappoint him, he thinks that there’s no point if it’s all going to end in the grand scheme of all things.

Jungkook only fucks, that’s what allows him to satisfy himself and protect his heart, it works for him. Clearly, you are not looking for that, you’re not looking for a quick fuck and he’d rather keep you as a friend than lose you, it is comfortable the way things are now. He knew eventually that you would crack and tell him your feelings, but he only hoped it wasn’t going to be anytime soon. Plus, you deserve better, you deserve better than Jungkook who is 1) a pessimist; he sees the negatives of life, and his thinking is cynical, very opposite from yours. You’re a better person than Jungkook, you see the good in people and think that anyone “bad” can change, and can be “fixed”. But Jungkook didn't want to change, nor did he want to be fixed. Jungkook wanted to be Jungkook…unguarded and free. He didn’t like all that vulnerability shit, he didn't want any of that soft stuff, and he did not want that level of emotional intimacy with anyone ever again. No, he didn’t want that, no one nor you or anyone else can change his mind.

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“Oh,” you're dejected, nodding your head at Jimin, Jungkook’s coworker. He told you that Jungkook wasn’t working for the rest of the week, and you now regret not texting him first rather than showing up unannounced and as much as you claim that any amount of money that you spend on Jungkook is worth coming to see him for, you should’ve thought rationally—the gas money it took you to get here from the office was at least worth a brand new pair of work pants from Zara. Smiling softly at Jimin, you bid him a farewell, walking out feeling your embarrassment from your heated skin, almost tripping on your feet on the way out with your head hung low from disappointment.

“…” You hear your name, the gentle voice had a slight rasp to it this time and slowly your heartbeat quickens as your eyes look up from his combat boots to his face. He was fitted in black cargo pants and a black tee, the black ink also standing out with a new print behind his elbow. You don’t comment on it yet though, your eyes swell up from smiling real hard and at him. The bag you had in your hand came into view and you saw his eyes flick down to the greasy takeout boxes from his favourite restaurant.

“Jeon, Hi!” you chirp a little loudly, after a beat of silence he breaks into a smile. But his eyes widened again, a little look of guilt, or was it confusion you didn’t know but you broke the awkward silence by holding up the bag again.

“I thought you were working today and brought some food, I-i’m sorry I probably should have texted you first, but I didn’t want to-” you stop, huffing at your own ramble and Jungkook’s eyes seem to puff up, his grin widening from ear to ear and that seems to calm you down, it brought some sort of comfort to your erratic heartbeat. Oh god, it was beating so hard you just wished he didn’t see it beating out from your chest. Because for one he looks extremely beautiful outside of his work outfit, and two his smile just seems to always brighten up your days. After all, he was a whole beautiful galaxy in your eyes.

“Ahh I wish you texted me I-” he stuttered, walking past you to reach the little cupboards in front of the office you just bided Jimin goodbye from. His voice was a little rushed as he grabbed his forgotten wallet from his desk and stood back in front of you.

“I- I’m going out right now and”

“Jungkookie” a voice interrupts him and you can see the look of horror in his eyes flashing with shame and terror. You give him a confused look, you didn’t know why you read that frenzy expression on his face, and why it was there. Until a girl appears through the doors of the garage and you see him shut his eyes when she grabs onto his bicep, looking over at you.

“Did you find your wallet?” she asks and you blink up, your heart clenching at the tight grip she has on his arm. You don’t let it show though, you knew that deep down Jungkook had girls lining up for him, he was just that kind of guy. You twist the bag back behind your frame and Jungkook’s eyes flick from your hands to your eyes, he’s watching you carefully as if he was concerned about you.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” he says, clearing his throat awkwardly. The woman was beautiful, she had long blonde hair, clad in a cute red sundress that showed off her well-built long legs, and her bright smile that could probably light up anyone's world, maybe it already lit up Jungkook’s world, just like his own smile did to yours.

“Oh hi, Celeste” she introduces herself, and outstretches her hand, you shake it, giving her a wide smile. You didn’t want Jungkook to know that slowly your heart was tugging apart inside, and that bile was probably rising up and had the sudden urge to vomit out your stomach's contents of breakfast and coffee.

“…” you introduce yourself and Jungkook gives you a tight lip smile his nystagmic eyes missed nothing, but you also avoid them, avoid his being while Celeste beams about the garage and the random Corvette that’s being fixed up. Easing into some easy-going conversations, and more small talk about the party they're going to attend after, meanwhile, your heart clenched and twisted with a wicked feeling of jealousy, eyes zeroing in on her hand on Jungkook’s bicep. It looked natural like it was the millionth time she was doing this and you didn’t how much longer you could take it, seeing him with someone else.

“I- ’m going to go now, I hope you guys have a good time at the party,” you uttered after you all chatted for a while, and Jungkook’s eyes softened at the tight expression on your face–a lacklustre smile on your lips, he can see right through you, he knows you're disappointed, upset- but not angry.

“Wait, you should totally come, it’ll be a good time,” she suggests and you flinch slightly, looking over at Jungkook who gives you a tight smile, almost as if he was uncomfortable with the idea because his lips primed, and his brows knitted into a frown. You chuckle uneasily, waving your hand in a dismissive way before turning your head away from them a moment.

“Oh c’mon, it’ll be fun and if you know Jungkookie here im sure you’ll get along with the others at the party” You almost vomit from the nickname, the very cute and intimate nickname that falls from her mouth naturally, her hand rubbing his bicep in a soothing manner. Your face heats up from frustration and embarrassment because Jungkook clearly did not want you to accept yet you open your mouth to accept, giving Jungkook one last glance that has you nervously nipping at the bottom of your lip.

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You're on the sidewalk, nervous and jittery from entering the three-story home overflowing with people inside and out, bobbleheads scattered all over the top terrace to the front yard. Red cups are held in everybody’s hand, either filled with alcohol or any pop of their choice, but the way drunken bodies move and shout has you thinking of the latter option. Your bottom lip is tucked underneath your teeth, bare legs stuck to the ground as you contemplate the house, you didn't know what you were doing here, to be honest.

Jungkook definitely did not want you there, you were absolutely terrified of entering this stranger's party, and Celeste was probably just trying to be nice by inviting you yet you had bitter feelings towards her. What were you trying to prove? Show Jungkook that you were better than her, dressed into a tight crochet dress you’ve decided to borrow from your friend, about to step into a sea of people you didn't know and the only person that did– clearly showed his disinterest in wanting you there.

The look on his face showed his frustration and apprehension in not wanting you at the party as if he had something to hide, but that gave you all the push to come, maybe prove to him that you are as cool and as beautiful as Celeste. You wanted to mingle with his friends and converse with others to show Jungkook that you could fall in with his crowd.

Underneath all the nervousness and stress you are feeling, you feel a little brave and confident in the quite revealing, short dress, hair locks cascading down your back with glittery makeup on to emphasize your features. You hoped that if you were to approach Jungkook tonight that he would drop his mouth open, maybe discreetly look you up while you talk and enjoy yourself. You just want to show Jungkook how cool you could be, you could show him what he could have instead and in a perfect world, he would finally realize his feelings for you and come running to hug your waist and bury his boyish face into your neck, telling you how much he loves you.

But this isn’t a perfect world, clearly when the first thing you see is a girl sitting on Jungkook’s lap on the couch when you walk in, and that girl was not Celeste but rather a brunette wearing a backless top.

Your blink back pathetic tears, as you shift from one foot to the other. You were at a safe enough distance for them not to notice you but you also felt like throwing up, felt your heart shatter even harder than before because of one thing you never thought Of course Jungkook would turn out to be a fuck boy. A boy who flies through girls easily, bedding and dipping fast. What did you expect?

You figured that out by deciding to stay unnoticed at the party for a couple of hours, waiting for a time that he wasn’t occupied with shoving his tongue down someone’s throat. You counted at least 3, 4, maybe 5 women who had successfully approached him to share spit, your breaking point was when he decided to take the last girl upstairs, where the rooms were and you swore you could have met his eyes for a second as well, but you were quick to rush out that door and back into your car, steadying your breathing.

Pathetic of you to think that Jungkook was the soft and sweet boy you thought, you saw him smirk your way when he had the last girl on his lap, probably sensing your gaze on him finally he decided to hook her legs up to his waist and carry her up the stairs, putting a show on for you, it's as if he was mocking you. You could feel your heart detach itself from your chest, tears streaming down the face that you spent beating up the last two hours.

A tiny scoff leaves your lips, mind replaying that stupid devilish smirk on his stupidly handsome face.

He knew what he was doing, clearly.

How naive and in your head, you were to think that maybe just maybe Jungkook would have feelings for you and surely you thought that his actions and kind-heartedness towards you were special but seeing the way he held and softly caressed other girls, playing with their hair–showed that you would never be one of those girls. You want to be more than that though.

He was a good man, he would never intentionally hurt you and you blame yourself for your tears–if only you told him if only you sat him down and talked to him about your undying love. But then again, it’s been months of dropping hints and months of flirting with him surely he would know you had feelings for him? Would he really deliberately hurt you like this?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Jungkook couldn’t believe that when he woke up the next morning he was still at the party, sweat running down his back and neck making his skin sticky and gross. As he looked around he was all alone in the bed groaning when he saw the pair of panties on the nightstand with a little handwritten note beside him (Call me sometime ;)!) a phone number attached. Grudgingly he got up and threw out the note, grumbling in disgust, he managed to make it out the front door fully dressed, with his car perfectly intact and parked in the driveway. Looking back at the house small memories started coming back to him and your face flashed right through his mind, in that pretty little skimpy dress. Short that it almost flashed your ass with every step you took, catching the attention of all the boys at the party.

He scoffed at the memory, especially when he remembered the way your face broke out into horror every time you saw him with a different girl each time that night. Honestly, he was hoping you hadn’t come to the party just so you didn’t see that side of him. That side of him that he hasn’t matured and grown out of. You were probably hurt you weren't one of them, probably jealous of the girls he had kissed and fucked but he’s glad you weren’t one of them.

He would never disrespect you like that, if he was going to do things with you he would do it right. He would do it right as in take you out on several dates, confessing his love, and hopefully make you his girlfriend by the end of it. That’s the right way, the morally good and safe way to do things. He thinks that’s what you would have wanted, that's what you would have expected from him. But Jungkook doesn’t want that, he doesn’t like pre-planned things, he doesn’t like expectations, nor does he like the idea of being tied down.

But above all Jungkook doesn’t want to hurt you, hurt the fragile soul of yours that preplans and expects and sees the world in all shades of rainbows and unicorns. Call him a little cynical, a pessimist, (he is) but Jungkook likes the unexpected spontaneous nature of life that randomly brang what belonged to him when he needed it. He liked for things to fall in place and although to a certain extent, he should put in some work for what he wanted he knew that he didn’t want anything romantic to do with anyone right now. Maybe he should let you know then to keep letting your hopes up, but something so gut-wrenching and heart-shattering about seeing you hurt that Jungkook didn’t like. He lived to see the colour in your face, your enthusiasm and the way you’d go hours and hours talking about everything and anything.

And since Jungkook is so convinced that you both would be better off as friends than romantic lovers, why does he have this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach when he doesn’t see you for the next month? He doesn’t get the bubbly feeling and breath knocked out of him when he sees you walk in with one of your sundresses, only disappointment and beer bellies walking into his shop. He sighs, frustration clear on his face while he tightens the bolts on the bottom of the engine.

Jimin takes cautious notice of his mood throughout the weeks, he watched his eyes always flicker to the door whenever the bell chimes and the disappointment that settled into his eyes after, tells Jimin that maybe he’s looking out for a special chatty bird.

“What’s with you?” Jimin asks, nudging him on the shoulder.

“What’s with what?” faux disinterest laced in his tone.

“You have this sadness oozing out of you and I think it may have something to do with our favourite little customer huh?” he says with a grin and Jungkook chuckles.

“Is it that obvious?” he scoffs and Jimin shrugs.

“Yeah I mean, she hasn’t come in a while and your eyes practically jump to the door every time it chimes,” he treads, and Jungkook groans.

“She won’t answer my texts either, nothing” Jungkook sighs, wiping his oiled hands on his overalls.

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing”

“What’d you do Jungkook.”

“Seriously I don’t know, I’m confused myself,” Jungkook sighs.

“Managed to already hurt her feelings?” Jimin treads around the topic, not wanting to anger Jungkook but also get it out of him.

He knows your little innocent crush on his friend here, he knows you come in to fix every little thing (although unnecessary really) just to see Jungkook. He knows how Jungkook rolls, he wouldn’t be into the stuff where you date and do all the sappy shit— he didn’t like expected romance, he was more into hookups and spontaneous fucks something you obviously weren’t made for.

“What you think I did something?” He scoffs and Jimin sighs. “She’s just sensitive, she probably saw me with someone at the party, and I didn’t want her to come in the first place but she did and she ended up seeing shit she didn’t like” Jungkook blurts and Jimin hums.

The truth summarised.

“So really I did nothing, she showed up and she didn’t like what she saw” he shrugs, and Jimin scoffs.

“Why didn’t you want her there?” Jimin asks and Jungkook really wishes he didn’t ask that because he knew the answer. He knew he didn’t want you there because he had a fear of disappointing you and showing you the side of him that he secretly hates, the side where he made out with multiple women and fucked carelessly and to make matters worse he made sure it was in front of you.

Why did he care what you think of him? He doesn’t know and quite frankly he didn’t want to get into that variegated emotions and thoughts because now was not the time. He really thought that the best way of getting you away from him was to hurt you and he knows he did because he saw all the tears slip out of your eyes when you hastily wiped them away at the sight of Jungkook taking another woman upstairs to fuck, he knew by the way you hurriedly scurried out the door in the skimpy little adorable dress that you probably wore just for him.

Jungkook knew what you felt in your heart, you were very easy to read and he wasn’t dumb. You're pretty predictable and now he regrets not walking up to you normally instead of forcing his tongue down a random woman's throat to purposely hurt you.

Why? He couldn't tell you.

You deserved more, he wanted you to know you deserved more and maybe you finally realized that Jungkook was horrible and that it wasn't worthwhile having a crush on him but why does the lack of you in his life sting his heart. Why does it leave a bitter taste on the back of his tongue, and he can’t shake you out of his mind?

Jesus

He knew he grew accustomed to your company, he knew that much was true yet when you didn’t show up to the shop as your bubbly old self and did not answer his texts…. has him feeling like shit.

“I didn’t want her there because that wasn’t her type of thing” he answers after a long pause and Jimin gets busy with his task in hand, screwing up the tire in place.

“Uh-huh,” he said off-puttingly and Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Oh nothing…it’s just that—-You’re a shitty fucking person Jungkook” Jimin chuckles.

“How?” he asks

“Because you’re not honest with yourself, so you end up hurting people for no reason” he shrugs and his shoulder slump.

“You know she likes you, she’s harboured harmless feelings for you over a course of months and she cares for you, yet you end up treating her like shit when she dresses up for you and shows up to a party only to see you deliberately shove your tongue down throats in front of her because you wanted her to ‘back off,” Jimin huffs, air quoting “back-off” with his fingers and Jungkook suddenly feels exposed. A chilling and unsettling feeling rumbled from his chest.

“You don’t even want her to back off, I know you like her back just as much but you just self-sabotage because of your past but guess what Jungkook,” Jimin pauses, hands up to show his frustration.

“ ‘...’ isn’t Sora. You don’t always have to have this facade of smugness and nonchalance. It isn't attractive anymore,” Jimin spat when he finished his job, rubbing his hands with the towel as he walked back into the break room, leaving Jungkook to simmer inside his thoughts.

Damn

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

There is a foundation; eating, sleeping, and the occasional exercise that science proves helps our quality of life. Physically, these are all fundamental elements that help us live a long and fulfilling life (mostly), yet as you grow older and older you no longer depend on your parents to tie your shoes for you and start to form your own perspective on life, and what is most important to you. You realise there is more to life than just being, you no longer want to live for the purpose of living so you go out and find it.

You go out and seek the purpose for what you’ve been placed in this cruel world for, and somewhere along the journey, you start longing and yearning for something that is out of your reach. You create an unrealistic romanticized version of life in your subconscious mind. Outlets such as books, poetry, and movies may portray these very impractical ways of life in such beautiful and, again, (unrealistic) perspectives, which in the end can conflict with your conscious mind when you come face to face with these scenarios in reality and you’re left unsatisfied.

You expect and set life on this high pedestal to only then realize…. that life is much more complicated and disappointing. Depressing even to comprehend just how hard it is to live, just how hard it is to show vulnerability, to talk about feelings–to show them, to love, to accept, to forgive, to grieve.

It’s hard, truly.

That’s what Jungkook thinks you do, he thinks you’re so bubbly and energetic– so hopeful because you think of life as this big cloud of unicorn dust and stars that shine brighter than the sun.

He sees the hopefulness in the roundness of your eyes, and the adoration that they carry; so much adoration. Especially for him, and it scares the absolute shit out of him. He wishes he didn’t see life from a more cynical view, call him pessimistic but Jungkook would rather already have disappointment set into him like a wired robot and expect the worst of every situation than have that hopeful naive stare you have in your shimmery eyes, expecting everything to go the way you make things out to be only to be left pained in the end.

Yeah…hurt and pained.

Jungkook was always hyper-fixated on being disappointed in the grand scheme of all things, and he only believed that he could feel this way. He could only be the one disappointed but when he sees your lone self sitting in the diner you brought him over for lunch a couple of months ago, chewing on a lame piece of fry, eyes tired and looking down into your milkshake he stiffens.

Visibly, Jimin notices and follows his line of vision, eyes landing on your form that carelessly runs through fries and the book you have on your lap. You seem tranquil, a vibe that neither Jimin nor Jungkook can wrap their heads around but when your head lifts up and your eyes scan the room you finally find his eyes. And Jungkook winces at the loss of joy and passion in them for him. It’s like the fire that kept burning in them full of love and hope was lit out. He half expects you to look back down at your book and avoid him, forgetting that you ever saw him but when you shyly wave and shoot him a smile Jungkook doesn’t think but walks towards your booth–which he now realises is the very same one you both sat in the last time.

“Hey,” you greet, voice hoarse and still soft. Jungkook was lost just staring at you, his eyes dancing across your dainty figure and locking in on the new tattoo on your forearm. It wasn’t big but it was big enough to notice right away, a cute star with a soft circle ringing around it.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” Jimin asks concern laced in his voice as your eyes softly crinkle from smiling too hard at the pet name. Jungkook stares, heart beating faster as he hears the tired strain in your voice, you seem sunken and look smaller than before. Your eyes don't shine as bright and the glee in your voice was gone.

“Oh I got my car broken into, and my phone was stolen so sorry I didn’t see any of your messages” You blush lightly, your voice growing softer at the end. That explains why you haven’t answered any of his texts and why you didn’t return any of his calls. But he was still trying to figure out what had happened to your energy.

“You taking care of yourself?” Jungkook finally speaks up and your eyes look back and forth,` unable to hold the contact as you clear your voice and look away.

“Yeah, im doing well” You muster a smile and gesture for both of them to join you in the booth.

….

You exchanged your new number with Jimin and Jungkook, walking out of the booth after catching up. You decided to sell your car and invest in another you told them.

The cold breeze of the air kicks in as the moon farewells the sun— and darkness completely takes over the swirl of orange and pink that has painted the sky. Jimin wishes you both a good night and Jungkook lingers a bit longer by your car, looking at you.

“Let me drive you back home” he suggests with a small smile, “You’ve had some drinks” he explains and you chuckle lightly.

“Uhh it’s pretty far Jungkook, how would you get back?” you ask and Jungkook takes the keys from your hand.

“I'll bus back” He smiles and you nod, heart fluttering a million times harder inside the tight confinement of your chest.

Missing Jungkook was an understatement, you’ve done nothing but flaunter your interest in him and shower him with all your attention and love in the past. All you wanted was for him to either reject you or accept you. He was confusing, and although deep down your love for him rapidly grew like wildfire in your heart, the same love that he had shrugged off. The same love that he takes advantage of and deliberately strung along just for his own vile entertainment and pleasure, just for his ego to be nourished from time to time again is the same love…… that realized that you deserved better.

In the grand scheme of all things you had realized that Jungkook could never give you want and need, he won't ease your heart by reassuring you nor would he give you the love you deserve, the stability you deserve.

And instead of wasting your time chasing after him, who clearly has different motives and different goals for his future, you decided to finally set him free, take a step back, and explore other options in your life.

The least you could do to guard your heart against his cruel ways.

When you’re cute coworker started taking interest in you, you decided to go on a few dates with him over the past month. You weren’t official yet but he made you happy, he truly did. He was the softest most kind-hearted boy, that’s what you used to think Jungkook was or wished he was like.

You idealized Jungkook, you’ve built such unrealistic standards of him and put him on the highest pedestal that you could possibly find. The tattoos, his body, and luscious raven hair were all a blinding vision, all romanticization.

And you feel guilty for doing that, which is why you had stopped coming to see him for a while. You had to clear your mind and stop being a delusional little 13-year-old. You’re a grown 25-year-old woman who has a career, and a promising future. You wanted to get married have children and do the unimaginable most basic cliche things in between. You realized that waiting around for Jungkook would set you back.

This doesn’t mean you regret the past year of pinning and being whipped after him, you genuinely had a fun time but the sooner you realized the harsh reality, the softer the blow would be, and you wouldn't have to go through a traumatic heartbreak. Or you hoped.

The ride to your house is ghost quiet, only the bustling horns of cars and skyline and street lights illuminate the car, casting a beautiful shimmer onto his face. The soft tune of Sabrina Claudio playing on the radio, humming along quietly as you look out the window.

“Time will be frozen….for us” you sing lowly, and Jungkook takes a second to look at your side profile, a smile growing on his lips.

“You have a nice voice,” he compliments and you giggle shyly, staying quiet and humming along some more.

You soon arrive at your condo, he parked your car in the garage. You invite him over for some food and made some pasta for the both of you silently eating on your kitchen island, conversation flowing slightly awkwardly with little pauses in between to rack your brain for topics. You could tell he was treading carefully, tentatively and hyperaware. You can see it in the way he speaks between pauses, and actions so timid it’s so unlike him.

“This dress is really pretty,” his hands tug lightly at the laces on the end, skimming your upper thigh lightly. You smile, patting the short piece of fabric down your thighs and Jungkook licks his lips. Eyes land on the white lace garter around your left thigh, catching a sight of it by accident when you hike it up your thigh.

He raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat as you lightly smirk. Suddenly the tensions in the air change, and you lean in closer.

“Thanks, I got it as a gift last week,” you smile, absentmindedly sighing at the way Yoongi bought you the dress to wear for their date, he was supposed to come over later tonight, so you desperately wished to get rid of Jungkook as soon as possible.

“Are you going to bus back soon, it’s getting late,” you move your body away from his, taking the opportunity to clean the dishes while putting space between the two of you. He lingered confused, staring at you intently as if in deep thought, you can see from your peripheral vision. All of a sudden the air around the both of you got thick, and your heartbeat picked up as soon as he came around beside you, helping you dry the dishes.

“Why am I not welcome anymore?” He jokes, setting the plates down on the drying rack. He slowly trails behind you, trapping both of his arms on either side of your body, leaning his head in slowly and you anticipate the feeling of his body flushed against you but it never comes. Jungkook paused, too busy staring at the bruising mark on your neck, his heart twisting uncomfortably.

Were you seeing someone? Is that why you stopped coming to see him for the past couple of months? He feels anger rising but subdued when you turn around, face inches away from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask and Jungkook scoffs, a bitter chuckle escaping his mouth as he takes a step back.

“If you want me to leave because your little boyfriend’s coming soon, you could’ve just said so” he tuts, and your eyes widen.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you say defensively, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Jungkook crosses his arms, mockingly mirroring your pouty lips, “You don’t have to be so coy, just tell me to leave,” he says, and your eyes widen, your patience running thin as your blood boils in anger.

Who did he think he is?

Jungkook wanted you to tell him to leave, he wanted to prove a point. Show yourself that you still like him still. But what surprised him was the little smirk on your face, your arms suddenly crossing over to mirror his own and the way you gesture to the door with a tilt of your head.

This was it? Had you truly moved on…? Isn’t this what Jungkook wanted all along though? Why was his heart shattering inside his chest and the air suddenly felt warmer and thin around him?

Why was the new glint of realization and unhinged gleam in your eyes bothering the fuck out of him. God damn it your eyes shined so much brighter and glowed a thousand times shinier than the moon could have whenever you saw him.

That used to always put his heart at ease, feeling wanted, he loved being desired. Especially when you would stare at him for hours and trace the tattoos along his arms, buy him food and talk his ear off.

Why was that all gone from the look in your eyes, he felt the coldness in your stare probably caught on to the arrogance his words held, and the smugness he carried himself with.

So he’s surprised when he hears what he hears next.

“Please leave Jungkook, I have someone coming over,” you smile.

You didn’t let him get what he came for, you didn’t let him shatter your self-confidence, nor did you let him fill you with self-doubt. You're a changed woman….

——

Min Yoongi was a special man, a special man that held a special part in your heart. You’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and ever since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago you’ve been head over heels.

Driving him crazy by drowning him in kisses, and hugs, making him food at unprecedented times of the day and taking it over to him at the university he teaches at.

He was a physics professor, at the age of 30 living in a downtown complex just half an hour away from you(depending on traffic) and although the way you met was kind of unconventional you both had hit it off quite well.

He was the kindest, sweetest man ever, always so thoughtful of you, always treating you with the utmost respect and kindness you deserve. Ever since the last night you’ve seen Jungkook a month ago, the memory of him started fading away slowly, your heart healing and filling your mind with new and fonder memories.

Like right now, sitting on Yoongi’s lap while he inspects your broken laptop, trying to fix the crashed document for you.

Smiling at him you hear him groan and you coo, kissing his cheek multiple times while he shuts down your computer again to refresh it.

“Baby, I think you need a new computer,” he sighs, taking off his glasses and finally giving you the attention you’ve asked for all night.

You kiss his lips, holding the sides of his face gently while he giggles. “It’s okay, as long as I have you,” you smile stupidly and Yoongi feels his chest tightening with love, butterflies pooling at the bottom of his stomach.

“Plus you can just use my computer for the time being,” he suggests and you nod, burying your head in the solace that was his neck, relaxing the rest of the afternoon in his embrace.

——

“Jimin, your customer is here to pick up his Audi,” Jungkook calls in from the reception area, sharing a brief smile with the young man dressed in a sharply tailored suit, raven hair and mullet cut. He was shorter than him and scrawnier but nonetheless, you could see his biceps buff and curl into the stretched material of his dress shirt.

Jimin wipes the grease off his hands and onto his jumper, breaking out into a big grin as he shakes his hand. “Ahh Yoongi, good to see you,” he beams and Yoongi bows politely.

“Enough is my car fixed? No more leakage diarrhea?” He jokes with a quizzed eyebrow, earning a chuckle from him.

“Nah no more liquid shit, let me show you,” he takes him to his car and Jungkook shakes his head with a smile on his lips. He had helped fix the diarrhea problem in the Audi, almost in the shop for a month as they had to wait for a piece they ordered to come. Apparently, his girlfriend has been giving him rides to work and back for the past couple of weeks.

Jungkook washed his hands, running a hand through his now short hair, and eyes trained on his phone, checking out the new sneaker shop downtown to try and visit and get Jimin a gift for his upcoming birthday.

He’s throwing a pool party at his parent's mansion, them being gone for the next couple of weeks. He booked a dj, and bartender and Invited a shit ton of people because according to his own words:

“You only turn 25 once, that’s halfway to the 50 and wrinkly old man that I’ll be” He justified his expensive irrational blow of money.

“Yoongi!” Jungkook hears, he knows this voice way too well. Familiar with the soft rasp to it, and the kindness of every syllable, he regrets it but he looks up. Finding you clad in a beautiful yellow sundress, the one that you wore that one time you came to visit and bring him lunch, ready to spill about the contents of your day to him.

Your eyes hold a little surprise to them when you spot him and Jungkook wished the whole world swallowed him whole while he stared at you his heart started wildly beating, a specific clench on the left side as he regards your beautiful self.

You have a life back in your eyes, a certain light and beam in the shines of your irises and his mind switches into a hopeful thought before he sees you look behind him and wave at the young gentlemen through the glass, talking to Jimin.

You look back at him, a certain softness to your eyes as you regard him and walk up closer. “It’s been so long Jeon, Hi,” you say, and Jungkook gulps when he waits for a beat longer to respond; stunned that you are really here, standing here talking to him, especially after the last time you both spoke.

“I’m good,” he responds, eyes glancing between your eyes and lips, then at the tattoo on your forearm. The little star with the winged circle, he assesses it, never had a chance to ask you about it. You slipped through his fingers faster than he would’ve liked.

You nod, a frown replacing your face when he looks back at his phone, trying to ignore your presence. But really his heart was beating way too fast for his liking, heart clenching in pain and longing….regret.

You disappointedly turn away, a smile right back on your face when Yoongi comes back out with his car keys, he pulls you into his embrace, lingering a kiss on the top of your head.

Jungkook notices this and blinks owlishly.

What did he fucking miss?

“‘….’” Jimin says your name, a surprised gasp leaving his lips when he sees the interaction and in a split second he sends a knowing look to Jungkook, a smirk attached to his gaze.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and continues to watch you catch up with Jimin, blabbering about life and decisions and thinking of moving into the city. He didn’t really hear much because his gaze was on the way your handheld Yoongi’s thumb, squeezing it lightly in nervousness he thinks because you used to do that with him a lot. He grows more irritated when he sees the way you subtly lean your head onto his bicep and seek warmth and comfort in his embrace. Your eyes look everywhere and when they meet him again Jungkook decides to not look away holding your gaze with a pained look on his face you decide to send him a small smile and look away, leaning into Yoongi even further which makes Jungkook furious.

“I’ll send you the address, and don’t bring gifts, it's a no-gift birthday party,” he raised a finger in a warning and you giggled with a roll of your eyes.

“Whatever you say,” you sing, and leave hand in hand with Yoongi once you all exchange goodbyes.

Silence overtakes the garage, Jungkook’s eyes stay on the door that you just left from and finally looks away when Jimin chuckles—throwing an arm over Jungkook’s shoulder.

He sighs dreamily, rather dramatically Jungkook thinks, “If only you weren’t a fucking asshole that could’ve been you, lover boy,” he slaps his shoulder and Jungkook raises his arm, pushing Jimin off but he runs away with a squeal before Jungkook could slap him.

He comes back after a fit of giggles, “But man I hope you're okay,” he says more seriously giving Jungkook a sad smile.

“I’m fine,” he shrugs, showing indifference but the beating of his heart and the croak in his voice betray his words.

——

A beer in hand and other on his phone as he mindlessly scrolls through his feed, he enjoys the bustle outside of the party and the serene calm sound of waves crashing against each other at the terrace of Jimin’s parent's room.

The party had started a couple of hours ago, not even halfway there as people mingle and talk. He even spotted you, a cute little two-piece clad on your curves. They had little sunflowers on them, small pathetic excuses of triangles covering your nipples but he could imagine the perky pebbles in his face as they erected through the material. The bottom half had a cute see-through mini skirt as a cover-up that covered the bikini yet exposed everything at the same time.

You looked really good, and when you found his gaze you had sent him a small smile waving a little. But he had looked away escaping out to the terrace to stop himself from thinking about you. To bask in his own misery.

He couldn’t take the sight of you lovingly sitting on Yoongi’s lap, playing with his hair while he conversed around, a beer in his hand while he sat sprawled out on one of the lawn chairs. You had those love-sick eyes that he loved seeing yet he only realized he loved them when they were on him.

You whispered and kissed him lovingly, giggling into his neck as his hands held your hips.

Was he really that fucking funny?

He watched the way he teasingly released the strings on the side of your bathing suit and you gasped and slapped his arm away, quick to tie it back up.

He wished it were him.

Fuck,

He wished he didn’t fuck up, yet here he is fucking up even the friendship you possibly could have had but he cold-shouldered you every time you try and show any kindness, or start a conversation.

He sighs laying on his back while his bicep covers his eyes from the blaring sun, trying to clear his thoughts away from you. He needed to stop thinking of you before he tried to jump off the terrace…

It was indeed an enticing idea at this moment.

Limbs barely contained himself at the mere thought of you having him wanting to torture himself in all kinds of ways. And when he feels the weight of the door to the terrace close shut, a heavy sigh escapes him ready to tell the person occupying his peace to fuck off.

But the words die inside his throat and shove back down into his esophagus when he sees you standing there with a credulous look on your face. Your dainty bikini and mesh skirt that barely covers anything flows with the wind, and your hair also blows in the direction the gust is coming from.

You look ethereal Jungkook thinks, standing there all meek with a guilty look on your face, looking prettier than ever and that’s when he catches himself slipping, a smile almost etched himself onto his lips and he’s quick to turn away and clear his throat.

A practiced scowl takes over and he looks back at you again.

“What?” He asks, he even grimaces when it comes out a bit more aggressively than he intended to, and he feels his heart tug at the pained expression on your face.

He was angered all of a sudden, it was because of your presence that he was escaping the pool and when he finds you here again it just did something to him.

All the feelings and constant regret, the doubts and fears, what if’s all clouding his mind in an array of emotions either through sadness and agony, or jealousy and anger.

He decided that he feels both when it comes to you, he feels everything when it comes to you and he hates himself for the wrong timing of his realization because Jungkook is beyond repair, and damaged the foundations of your friends so easily, what makes him think he had a chance to get to any level of a relationship with you now that he’s acted like such an asshole towards you?

Jeon Jungkook, ladies and gentlemen.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt I just wanted to get the donut floaty…” you trail off and your face suddenly starts getting warm from the embarrassment you feel from the exaggerated bored expression on his face. If a look could make you cry, it would be the one on his face right now.

“Or never mind I’ll come back for it-” You turn around and roll your eyes.

“You can grab it, I don’t care,” he says, laying back down on his back, glancing up at the clear sky.

You mutter out a weak ‘okay’ and quickly dig through the pile of junk in the corner near Jungkook’s chair.

Fuck, Jungkook thinks taking a glance at you only to see you bent down, ass puckered out, bikini barely covering your nether region and he uses all the strength in him to look away.

“Can you find it any faster?” He grumbles, getting up to help you search for the damn floaty just so you can get out of here and he doesn’t have your presence interrupting his sulking thoughts…. of well…..you.

“I got it Jungkook you can sit back down,” you sigh, and he mutters curse words underneath his breath cursing whichever wicked person decided to let the fucking universe let this moment happen.

Once you find the floaty Jungkook also realized he’s also grabbed a part of it, bringing it up at the same time as you, and it’s when you face him that he notices the close proximity between the both of you. You have a sharp stare aimed right at him and Jungkook moves in closer, eyes challenging yours while he slowly bends down to your level.

You breathe out a scoff when he’s near and Jungkook licks his lips, and it’s as if time freezes when he sees the same action of your tongue darting out that he has a small spark of hope lit off inside of him. The hurtful want in his heart tugging him towards you until he’s breathing you in, eyes casting down your face until the worst thing he deemed to be in the ENTIRE WORLD happens.

“Baby did you find the float!”

Your boyfriend calls out, voice closer to the terrace and you scramble away from Jungkook, pushing at his chest gently while you manage to grasp the floaty in your hands.

“Yes Yoongi I’m coming,” you yell back, pausing at the door for a moment and Jungkook hopes with his whole heart that you turn around. Because if you do then the spark of hope in him…will ignite, it will give him the courage to try again.

But when you linger around longer than usual he sees you walk off without turning back for a single glance his way.

Damn.

———

Jungkook doesn’t see you for the next couple of months, randomly only getting updates from you on your Instagram that he stalks way too often than he should be. It was a guilty pleasure of his reality, it was his way of checking in on you without having to text you and he thought it was safer that way.

It was safer for his heart, and to save himself from embarrassment. But when Jungkook got off the clock today, showered and ready in bed to continue with his daily stalking, he noticed something different on your page. Something was missing and after staring at it for so long he realized the annoying lovesick hand-holding and disgustingly cute couple picture you had up of you and Yoongi—we’re all gone. Not even that you had taken down all your selfie picture he would stare at for hours, but that didn’t kill his mood.

He was so beyond happy to see that maybe- just maybe you and Yoongi had broken up. Why else would you take down those photos? And every other selfie you had posted between the time period of you two dating. He wonders what’s changed, eager to know what had happened but Jungkook takes this as a sign from god and decides to send you a simple text, something not out of the ordinary. Maybe he shouldn’t consider how things went the last couple of encounters he’s had with you but what can he do?

The only girl he’s ever truly loved and cared for had finally learned her worth and moved on from him.

Ironic of him, truly

Wow he really was a shitty person.

To put things in that perspective Jungkook winces at the way he treated you, he strung you along, embarrassed you, and you took a strike to your dignity because of him.

He claimed that was because he wasn’t ready, or that his past relationship had haunted him, but really…Jungkook loved the attention. He loved it so he sometimes indulged in it, not really thinking about how it would have affected you in the long run.

You: ‘Sorry who is this?’

Had you really deleted his number?

JayKay: ‘It’s Jungkook’

You: ‘Oh uhh… sure we can meet up

His heart races in his chest, cheeks blazing as he finally gets to see you again. Maybe he’d apologize.

Hopefully.

JayKay: ‘Tomorrow I get off at noon, come by and we’ll grab some lunch :)?’

You: ‘Sure’

Jungkook can only hope that you accept the apology that he provides and hopefully his heart.

——

How Jungkook finds himself buried between your legs, your hands wrapped into his black locks while he madly eats at your cunt, he has no idea. But he sure does love the way you whine and sing soft moans out for him, head thrown back while you try and stay seated on the passenger seat of the car he was currently fixing, kneeling on the floor, legs half out the door and on his shoulders.

Shit, he didn’t know his form of apology would come in this way.

But it just happened.

He holds your thighs open, tongue dipping out to softly lick and tease your folds, come back up to see your cunt spread open, flushed and glistening with his saliva spread so good, he groans.

“God I’ve been wanting to know what you tasted like for so long,” he groans, eyes still admiring his coat of spit on your warm cunt.

“Oh please Jungkook,” you moan, and he smiles coming up to quickly peck you as he gathers the saliva around his teeth, mouth pouting out a spike of spit and it lands straight onto your clit.

“Oh yes!” you pant, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel the spit run down your cunt and onto your ass. Jungkook dives right back in, taking both his hands to spread open your folds and nudge his tongue in, shaking his head to also nose at your clit. Your legs shake at the intense pleasure and all of a sudden you feel the sudden knot in your lower stomach form.

“Oh fuck yes!” You moan out loud, and Jungkook takes this opportunity to come up for air and latch onto your clit, deeming you wet enough to plunge two fingers in. He moved in vampire speed, the soft moans and loud strings of his name only spurring him on, feeling your cunt gush and flutter every few seconds has him riled up in his overalls.

“Needed you for so long, now you're falling apart all over my tongue,” he moans into your cunt, indulging in your taste a little longer until he pulls his fingers out and detaches his mouth from your cunt with one last kiss to it.

“Fuck, stand up” he says with a grin and disheaveled hair, you got up wobbling on your feet and Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist.

He tugs you closer and cups his other hand around your jaw, kissing your lips with a fierce passion that has your stomach turning and aching with want, butterflies fly throughout your bodies and onto each other clashing with the lacklustre of unsaid emotions between you two: ultimately making this moment even more passionate.

Fuck Jungkook thinks, hands now gripping your waist in an attempt to pull you flush against his pelvis and when you whimper into the kiss he detached himself with one final suck on your tongue and a slow bite on your bottom lip, eyes fiercely gazing down into your own.

“Fuckkk you're so pretty,” he whispers, eyes skimming down your face, swollen lips, puffy cheeks and you smile coyly, shyly shoving at his chest for the compliment.

“Come here,” he grins sitting inside the passenger seat of the car, reclining the chair all the way down before he gestures for you to come sit on him.

You throw your legs around his body, straddling him as his hands travel down and grab the flesh of your ass to scoot you closer.

“I didn’t mean my lap babe,” he smirks, and you quirk an eyebrow in confusement, when he manhandles you and drives your legs up higher his body, that’s when you understand and gasp softly.

“A-are you sure?” you ask, concern laced your voice and Jungkook grins, licking his lip as he aligns you over his face, your knees digging into the headrest space that’s available, arms grabbing the ceilings of the 4x4. When he nods in encouragement and you hesitate he delivers a slight smack to your clit making you jolt forwards but he knew you like it when a gush of arousal seeps out of you.

“Mmm okay ok, please tell me if I hurt you, I don’t wanna kill you,” you murmur the last part and Jungkook chuckles.

“I’d die a happy man,” he smirk before spreading open your lips with his fingers, tongue darting out to lick and suck at your clit with a surprising pressure and Jungkook chuckles when you jolt forwards.

He buries his hand around the flesh of your thighs and holds you down so you don’t run away. “Ride my fucking face,” he grunts, and you don’t hesitate this time, sitting done properly on his face so that his nose aligns with your clit and your folds aim for his tongue. You breathlessly moan when you start moving up and down, and letting Jungkook bring you closer to your high.

“Feels so good,” you whine and Jungkook continues slurping up your cunt juices making sure to help you grind down on his face to get off.

“Taste”, kiss, “So”, kiss, “Good” he says in between dipping his tongue into your cunt, feeling you pulse and flutter around him and he knows you're close.

“Gonna cum?” he asks and you whine, nodding your head eagerly. You place your fingers in between strands of his hair and slightly angle his face deeper into your clit so he can get you to your end.

Jungkook absolutely loves that you're using him, mouth open wide as he stares into your eyes, stains of tears running down your cheek at the intense pleasure, fuck.

He bucks his hip up to search for any type of release, and then suddenly he feels your legs shake in his grasp, and your head lolling back.

“Oh my god! Yes!” you moan out, riding his face faster and Jungkook braces himself for a couple of seconds to get you off, feeling himself suffocating underneath you, but he lets it happen. His arms loosen around your thighs as you bury yourself deeper into his face.

“Ahh, yes, ohhhh,” you drag out your moans and Jungkook groans against you, hand coming up to smooth over the skin of your thigh in an attempt to lift you off him.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” you flush from embarrassment, feeling the heat on your cheeks sore throughout your whole body. You raise yourself up for a moment, cheekily grinning down at his glistened face. You gasp, flying to gather your shirt that had flown off in the process of this, grabbing it to wipe his face meekly, softly dabbing it onto his skin.

“What are you doing?” he chuckles and you wiggle back down to straddle his thighs, softly placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

You’ve missed him so much.

You let your eyes linger on his features, the same ones that you had imprinted into your own head for months, the same bubbly nose, thick eyebrows, and doe eyes that hadn’t been able to leave your mind for the past year. Even when you were in a committed relationship you couldn’t shake them away, even if you were happy with Yoongi you couldn’t shake him away.

He was one of the reasons why your relationship with Yoongi didn’t work out, amongst others. The guilt was too much, committing to Yoongi when you knew that your heart yearned for another, your mind had that bunny smile plastered in every corner of your mind.

The same pearly whites that he flashes at your curious eyes gazing down his face, and into his eyes.

“What?” he asks and you shake away from your daze, shyly grinning as you hop off his lap to adjust your skirt.

No.

You don’t want to put your heart through the torture of not knowing where you stand with Jungkook, again. You don’t want the uncertainty and all the doubt it comes with being involved with him.

So you take this time to collect yourself and ask him why he had texted you to come over, surely getting sidetracked this way wasn’t on the agenda that much you can tell by the surprised expression on his face and the initial shock on his tongue meeting your own in a fiery kiss when you first came in.

You cross your arms and smooth down your shirt and skirt, “Why did you text me last night?” you asked.

Jungkook properly wipes his mouth and sits up at the edge of the car to face you, eyes blinking cowardly while he racks his brains for a reason, you think. A reason to mask the truth of course because you know him. This is what he does, leading you into the mud until he doesn't need you.

But you want your answer now and you want it fast. You're tired of playing games with him.

After a prolonged silence, you start to sigh heavily and turn away from him making sure to hide away your broken heart and tear welding eyes from his own.

“I missed you alright, I really did” Jungkook blurts, stopping you in your tracks.

You turn around to face him, an expecting look on your face for him to continue, he blinks doe eyes absolutely lost and your brain moving 200km/hour, you can tell.

Chuckling you throw your head back and scoff, “Is it really that hard for you to tell me you like me?” you ask.

Jungkook’s face goes red, not denying or adding to your statement simply standing up to dust his overalls. You cross your arms over each other raising a brow at his silence.

He doesn’t say anything. After a beat of silence, you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief as you walk out of the garage, without a look back and Jungkook gulps back the lump in his throat. Distracting himself with the car he was working on, the car he had just eaten you out on top of, and his heart clenches repeatedly at your expression of disappointment from him.

Forever printed into his mind.

—

“I thought you said this was a frat party, not a crack house” you complain, pulling the bottom of your short dress down with every step you take into the house. Hoseok snorts, hand reaching out for yours and you slip your fingers together.

“Do me a favour and shut up for a minute.” he rolls his eyes, eyes teasingly glaring at you. Reaching the living room, Hoseok finally lets go of your hand, calling over his shoulder that he’s getting drinks for the both of you.

You huff, sitting down on one of the love seats, pulling your phone out. A bunch of hollers and whistles are heard throughout the house but one side of the room drives your attention, glancing at the other side of the huge living space you notice the ping pong games going on. Your eyes curiously dance over to the corner and see a familiar build, he’s shoving his tongue down a girl's throat, a circle of people surrounding them.

You scoff, of course. When said man winks at her and tries to crane his neck, his eyes meet your own briefly, and you look away quickly. You are not surprised that Jungkook’s getting turnt at a random party with yet another woman. Unaffected anymore you look away, Hoseok finally coming back with drinks and you mumble thanks as he sits beside you, and starts conversations with the people around him.

Your eyes lift once more and an even more shocking pair of eyes meet yours and at this, your heart leaps a little, it’s Yoongi looking even more handsome with long jet-black hair, his arms and chest looking buffer than normal. He sports a black button-up opened up with a white tank top, baggy cargo and a chain so shiny you can see your reflection.

“Oh ‘....’, Hello” he smiles, a shaky breath escaping him, you smile so wide, immediately jumping up on your feet to greet him, arms wrapping around his neck and his arms around your frame, pulling you so close to him your feet lift off the floor.

“How’s it going,” You sigh, pulling away.

“Good, calm and peaceful,” he lets you go and you smile.

“Just how you like it huh,” and he chuckles.

“So what, you’re done your placement in New York?” you ask about his job that had stationed him there for a few months, right after your breakup.

“Yeah I finally got a permanent placement here,” he trails off, his arms itching towards you but he wraps them around his biceps instead, crossing them. The obvious instinct to reach out to each other is still fresh, muscles twitching into comfort soothing touches on each other's warm skin. You felt it too, felt your arms reach for his dark locks but had half a mind to control yourself, instead you smile so fondly that your heart squeezes so tightly.

Two lovers who star gazed, spent hours upon hours in each other’s bed, body intertwined, souls intertwined. It’s a bittersweet moment, and you think Yoongi can feel it too, with the way his smile matches your own.

You’ve always appreciated Yoongi, and always will. He was the first person that taught you what love meant, the first person to show you how you should be loved. Perhaps in another lifetime, you two would have been end-game, you think you’d be in love with him so hard. You don’t believe in the right person wrong time, but you sure do believe that Yoongi and you were meant to be in another universe, another era of your life…..if your heart wasn’t already struggling with the feelings of another man, you’d think that Yoongi would've been for you.

—

Jungkook’s eyes stay glued to the way you smile and the way your hands naturally intertwine with Yoongi’s, animatedly talking. Yoongi matched the smile you sport, a gummy smile he reserved for you, otherwise, his eyes were stern, a look so means that people could think he was killing em with it.

The dynamic between you two was weird, you guys seemed as if you have nothing in common, you are so bubbly and outgoing and Yoongi just seems so- unbothered and low energy. Jungkook guesses that you both mesh perfectly despite the differences like you both were end-game even broken up and it has him discouraged.

You looked so happy, and Jungkook cursed under his breath, insecurity and jealousy bubbling inside of him.

“We shouldn’t,” you say, and Jungkook’s ear perks up nicely looking at the way your gaze softly cracks its calm facade, distress clearly on your face as you turn and find his gaze. Yoongi’s head turns his way as well and he has half a brain to look away. You must have said something about him because what is the coincidence of the both of you looking his way at the same time?

He notices Yoongi is not by your side by the end of the night. You get out at the same time as him.

“You good?” he asks, eyes watching the way your frame sways side to side, eyes slightly puffy and glossy, but you still have a smile on your face. Maybe you’re a bit tipsy.

“Yes Jungkook, im good” you sigh, and he doesn’t miss the slight irritation in your voice.

“Good….. that's, good” it falls silent between you both and Jungkook lingers around, staring at your side profile as you type away on your phone. He doesn’t know why he stays around for longer but he talks again, to get the conversation going.

“I was thinking about what you said last time…” he trails off, he wasn’t lying he was thinking about the last conversation you both had, but he didn’t mean to tell because he has no idea where he is going with this.

“Okay,” you respond, eyes trained on your phone as if you didn’t believe him.

“So…yeah” he concludes, sighing deeply when he fails you yet again.

“What did I say last time?” you ask, putting your phone back into your purse.

“I don’t remember saying much for you to think about,” you chuckle, crossing your arms, mirroring him.

“Im sorry,” he swallows and he watches your face break out into an amusing one, scoffing lightly.

“Ok” you blink, and Jungkook’s eyes almost tear up from frustration. He’s good at reading people, and he’s taking your disinterest in this conversation badly. He really knows he’s fucked up, beyond repair.

“Well if you don’t know what you want still,” you pull out your phone, “I’ll be on my way”.

“How are you getting home?” he asks in panic, he needs to have this conversation with you.

“Uber.”

“Let me take you, we can stop by and grab some burgers from-”

“Jungkook,” you sigh defeatedly. Raising an accusatory finger up at his chest you step closer.

“I don't have time for you anymore, you’ve wasted my time over and over again and Im tired of this back and forth between us. You made it very clear you don't want me like that, and I’ve learned to accept it. But you keep hanging on to me, you keep….keep– hurting me.” You whisper the last part and that has Jungkook grabbing your wrist.

“That’s not it, I do want you ‘....’” he sighs and his eyes are teary now, watching you trying to wiggle away from his grip on you.

“You never let me finish talking, there's so much I want to tell you” he sighs, you wipe your tears with your sleeve, pliant in his hold now.

“My intentions were never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you suffer. I struggled at first, and then you got into a relationship, and now you’re single, I had and still have to respect that.” He takes in a deep breath.

“You wanna know why I broke up with Yoongi Jungkook, you want to know why I’ve left possibly one of the most loving people I’ve met in my life……hmm?” you press, jabbing your finger into his chest and Jungkook stumbles back.

“Because I was in love with a coward! a stupid fucking coward, who couldn't confess back to me all because he wanted to keep fucking around” you yell, voice breaking out at the end, and his fucking heart aches.

Aches cause it’s now that it really hits him how much he has hurt you.

He never intended that, ever.

Fuck.

“‘…’ I-” he says your name but you scoff sharply, chuckling but no humour is found in your tone.

“I thought loving you was supposed to be the best thing ever, but all it’s done is hurt me and I guess it’s my fault for springing my feelings onto a man that doesn’t want them,” you sniff, a weakened smile on your exhausted face and Jungkook breaks.

He grabs your arms to wrap around him, hard tears falling off his own eyes when you bury your head into his chest. It’s like letting a dam go, all this time he’s been keeping you at arm's length for what? Because he’s scared? Scared of committing, scared of disappointing you.

Scared, Scared, Scared.

What a coward.

What a coward Jungkook is.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby I never wanted to hurt you, it was never supposed to be like this….” he says. And all of a sudden he’s angered, frustrated at you. Why did you have to love him of all people,

And why did he have to love you back?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

3 Years Later

Spring is such a love-hate season. You either enjoy the wildlife and plants, or resent them very, very, much. You're in between the two right now, trying to enjoy the beautiful flowers that grow in your garden, and keeping up with your plant shop that has different lilies and sunflowers sprouting, beautifully— you may add. But as you fail to control your sneezing and red eyes, you decide to pop another allergy pill that may do the trick, you think.

You're just glad that the weather isn't so wet and dull, and well on its way into the warmer season and bikini tops. Sighing lightly you manage to finish your watering and inventory for today, deciding to take your lunch around noon, you lock the shop and put up the lunch sign. There’s a cafe that has just opened down the road and you’ve been wanting to check it out for a while, it keeps coming up on your feed and Hoseok has been bugging you to try it out.

Walking in you take a look around the beautiful shop, it was wooden and green themed, with lots of plants and high ceilings that showcase the sun beaming on the customer's faces. It smelled even more divine as you took in all of the blueberry and raspberry scones on display, chocolate croissants, and the smell of all types of coffee roasts. You are probably the biggest coffee fiend, being able to tell the difference between dark, blonde, and regular roast coffee. It was a gift, but it was also the skills that come along with being an addict.

The man in front smiles at you, “What can I get for you?” he asks and you can't help but beam, ordering every flavour of scones and a matcha latte, your heart already full of happiness from the beautiful array of desserts, making sure to snap a picture at one of the tables and sending it to Hoseok and your mom.

You enjoy your little scones and latte, getting up to grab some napkins at the register-

“Hyung it’s been a while,” you hear the barista address the man at the counter, with a mouth full of the blueberry scone and napkins midway to wiping your lips you take a glance at who he is addressing.

No-

You chuckle lightly to yourself, blinking a couple of times to confirm the face you see and it's more than enough evidence when he speaks, ordering two drinks.

Fuck

You quickly swallow the scone, moving back to your seat and accidentally make eye contact with him on the way of you rush out. You see a flash of recognition twinkle in his eyes yet you fleet fast, and far away back into your shop, basically running down the block like a mad woman.

You don't know why you reacted that way. Maybe it was because you haven't seen him in so long or maybe it was the woman that he had tucked in between him and his arms, a fond smile on his face as he regards her, ordering drinks for the two.

Your heart starts to clench uncomfortably, the night you last saw him replying in your mind.

“I think it’ll be best for the both of us to go our separate ways, Jungkook” You smiled sadly, unravelling from his embrace. You saw the stain on Jungkook’s shirt, salty tears from you seeping onto his skin.

“You should learn to love someone the right way, and when you find that person I hope you’ll treat them the way I would've liked to be treated,” You say, watching the Uber arrive. You reached up on your tiptoes to leave a kiss on his cheek, one that prolonged longer than it needed to and Jungkook can feel the depth of it in his soul, in his heart….slicing through it.

“I will, ‘...’ I will baby,” he swallowed.

That was how you both had ended things over three years ago, you finally grew the balls to block him on all social media, his number, and his face from your mind years ago…. until today. You know you’ve moved on. You have, you have moved into the city finally, opened up your little floral shop with whatever savings you’d have left and fled your boring office job. You loved life, you loved being alone and cropping all day long.

You had developed a new routine, new habits, new crushes, new experiences, new feelings, new friends, and most importantly a new mechanic in all those three years alone. Technically Jimin wasn’t new but you both had gotten closer, common interests and the building you both had lived in had brought you both together. He has become one of the most important people in your life today, and rather than bombarding you with everything that went down with his buddy, he has managed to successfully divert you from the pain. And it was like you didn’t know a Jeon Jungkook.

He had disappeared from the face of the earth because you had forced yourself to forget his existence, and it worked. Until today, until you had to see him today so happy with his girlfriend. Although that makes you happy that he has found someone, that he has matured enough to develop a relationship like that, the feeling had a bittersweet taste on your tongue.

—

“Don’t bring any more pies because I currently have like five of them sitting on my kitchen counter, I beg,” Namjoon complains through the phone.

You chuckle, carefully placing the blueberry pie onto your lap on the passenger seat, “Well that’s what happens when you host a dinner party, Jimin and I are gonna be there in 20 minutes,” you make a kissy sound into the phone before putting it down.

“I bet he doesn’t have a blueberry pie yet,” Jimin chuckles, reversing out of the parking spot and you shrug.

“He said there’s already five pies, three out of those five are probably apple, and the other two are pumpkin” You shrug and Jimin chuckles at your blurt.

“Perhaps,” he says. A frown settles deep onto his face while he drives and you notice it but don't say anything, humming along to the radio.

“I would much rather ditch this for a movie and a greasy burger,” Jimin winks and you roll your eyes.

“Hey, we can’t be rude he prepared dinner and plus I thought it would be nice for us to interact and make new friends.” You pout and Jimin chuckles, a little nervously but you brush it off.

“Okayyyy…. But if you change your mind just let me know we still got a block left” and you giggle slapping his arms playfully.

—

Well fuck….

Grabbing Jimin’s arms before he can zoom past you and into the living room, you hiss into his ear, “Why is he here?” you say interrogatively, and Jimin blushes lightly, wincing from the hold you have on his ear.

“Fuck, im sorry ‘..’ I tried to get you to bail,” he shrugs and you huff, taking your heels off as you scramble past him to greet Namjoon.

Jungkook and his partner are here and you do your absolute best to not get their attention in the huge living room Namjoon has, constantly keeping yourself ten feet away you think you're successful until Namjoon asks, “Oh have you met Jungkook and his fiance?” he pulls you towards them.

The air is knocked out of you as you hear the word fiance, but you collect yourself, your heart weirdly clenching as you make eye contact with them. Namjoon introduces you both and you shake her hand, watching as the beautiful petite woman shyly greets you and makes conversation. You have half a mind to nod and answer vaguely, eyes roaming her small face, plump lips, red hair, dress tightly fitted around her hips and waist perfectly.

“Nice to meet you kyomo” you tightly smile, you can feel the obvious gaze of Jungkook eyes on your face so you turn and greet him as well.

“Jeon,” you nod, and he pronounces your name back.

Namjoon looks between you both, your hand sliding into his smooth one softly as he shakes it slowly. He seems to never look away and you find yourself not being able to do the same.

His hair is short now, and his lips sport a silver ring. He’s wearing a plain black shirt and slacks that make him look mature and put together. You think you can smell his signature cologne on him still, strong and musky, yet soft and gentle just like his face. He’s bigger, broader than you remember and he still has brown doe eyes that expand and sparkle, you always loved to say he wore his emotions in his eyes. You could always just tell from them.

“It’s been a while, how are you?” He asks and you slide your hand from him, taking a step back, glancing away.

“Good, I'm gonna go find Jimin Joon, enjoy your night guys,” You're quick to retreat out of the situation, heading right for the bathroom upstairs and turning on the water. Your lips tremble slightly and your eyes are welled up with tears, why? You don’t know because you have been over him for years now.

You can’t breathe, and you can’t seem to shake away the painful ache in your heart that seems to beat faster and harder just thinking about him now, him getting married, him getting mature, him moving on from you so fast.

He’s getting married, Jungkook is getting married.

“You in here,” you hear your name being called from the other side of the bathroom door, you open it immediately getting pulled into an embrace. Jimin’s arms wrap around your frame as you quietly sob into his shoulder, he knows. He doesn’t ask because he knows.

They always said distance made the heart grow fonder, but you just think that your heart likes to set you up for the worst.

—

The party goes on, roasted dinner praised by everyone and you watch as Joon blushes, telling everyone to keep their voice down. Once finished, everyone heads over to the patio for some drinks and desserts. You offer to clean up, and after much protest Namjoon lets you, and you pat his back in appreciation.

“You already did so much tonight it’s the least I could do.”

Gathering the dishes and throwing out plastic utensils and cups you manage to clear the dining table, you look through the cabinets for a pair of gloves to get started on the dishes, rummaging through cupboards and cupboards.

“I think he keeps them above the stove,” You recognize that voice, and you muster a tight-lipped smile, reaching up to grab it but failing to do so with how high it is.

“Here,” he offers, coming up behind you to open the cupboard and grab them. You shut your eyes tightly and manage a calm facade when he hands it to you, thanking him with a mumble before you put them on.

“You gonna need help?” he asks after a moment of you gathering dishes. Help would be nice, but you wouldn't prefer it from him.

“Nah im good, thanks” you smile, getting to work.

Jungkook chuckles, grabbing a pair of gloves for himself, “Scoot over, I'm helping” he says and you momentarily meet his gaze and look away without a word as he helps you soak and put dishes into the dishwasher.

It’s quiet for a while, successfully cleaning the dishes and loading the bigger pots in the dishwasher.

Jungkook’s staring again, a little awkward so you speak up.

“How long have you been together?” you ask, and you can see Jungkook visibly stiffen.

“Over 2 years now,” he says, and you nod. You make a move to wipe the tables and Jungkook’s coming to help you again.

“I think I’ve got this, you can go and join everyone outside” You turn around abruptly, stopping him in his tracks.

“I thought we could catch up,” he smiles. And you almost scoff out loud, whether you're bitter because of Jungkook’s marriage announcement or the fact that he has the audacity to try and keep things natural between the two of you as if he didn’t break your heart in two….

Maybe the latter but it still hurts. And all of a sudden everything feels fresh like he just left you a day ago, broke you a day ago.

There’s a reason why you both didn’t work out? Was it because of Jungkook incapabilities to communicate or his lack of feelings for you? You don’t know but one thing you do know is that Jungkook never really loved you like he said he did if he wasn’t able to work on his problems for you.

Jungkook never loved you enough

Enough enough enough

You weren’t enough for him and the thought has bile rising up your stomach. It has your heart skipping beats and incredible hurt seizing through you.

You were never enough.

“There’s nothing much to catch up on really, I-”

“I’m sorry for the way things ended,” he sighs, your name slipping past his tongue so tiredly.

“Look, can we just look past this and- and be friends again?” he’s hopeful, he looks hopeful. His eyes are tender and his body language screams frustration.

Perhaps

“Of course” You reach a hand out to him, he’s smiling, putting his bigger hand with yours for a handshake. You feel….okay. This feels okay now, your heart doesn’t feel like it’s ripping in two and for once you're not reminiscing about the past.

Your content, you’ve moved on.

“Let’s work on our friendship this new year, let’s not look back anymore Jungkook,” you say and Jungkook nods eagerly.

“I agree.”

There was no hatred, no passive tone, no hidden anger or jealousy in your words. You truly meant it, and you hope he understands.

“Baby, are you coming?” Kyomo calls and Jungkook’s eyes leave your face to his fiancés on the patio. His beautiful wife stands, reaching a hand out for him to grab. He looks back at you, but you encourage him with one last nod and divert your attention back to the counter.

“Yeah, yeah I am….” he trails off, you think you see him send a small smile your way before he goes out but you don’t care anymore.

You're just happy you're free now.

#jubgkook bts bts fic btsjungkook bts reactions jungkook smut jungkook fluff jungkook angst jungkook x you jungkook is a sweetheart #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #jeon jungguk

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pitter-patt-art · 15 days

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Ace Attorney AU August oops-august-has-been-over-for-a-week Update!!

Hiiiii well okay first and most importantly of all! Happy investigations collection day everyone!!!! My copy is supposed to arrive by 10pm although I'm not sure I'll be playing it right away, but, hey, once it arrives I'll have in my possession at least one physical copy of every game in the series (2 for aai1, woohoo)!!! *Coughs* uh except all of the OG Trilogy which instead I own like 2 times over digitally (3 in T&T's case, thanks Wii) lmao. Ah well.

NOW the actual post. Yeah it's not August anymore but I've been recuperating or w/e so shhh, better late than never!

Overall I wrote over 50k words (actually in August itself) and posted 5 fics (with many more in progress), which is honestly just, wild???? That is so cool. Apparently the way to overcome writer's block is just overcommit to a month-long prompt list, who knew!

Here is my post about the first 17 days/AUs! And over here's my Ao3 series for these! Below the cut I'll wrap up the last 14 days of AUs, some thoughts, etc!

I am setting the goal for myself to actually finish writing these before the end of the year even if they're not technically "AU-gust" qualified anymore by the time I get to them sooo ...wish me luck!! In the meantime I am proud of myself for (tbh completely unnecessarily and to my detriment lmao) coming up with actually a full 31 solid AUs based on the prompts that I feel inspired by.

This post is gonna be a bit more rambly than the last one because I definitely did more of my writing last month the first 2 weeks rather than the last 2, but nevertheless--

Onto the remaining AUs!

18 - Space Travel

So, I actually started a draft at the airport before my vacation where I got wayyyy too sidetracked getting detailed about this one and thus ended up not being able to finish the post before takeoff lmao. I'm not sure whether it's annoying or interesting to include all of that here, but it's my post so fuck it, here's August 21st patt to tell you aaall about it so I don't have to: The Martian AU (I've only seen the movie and not read the book but i *did* literally just re-watch it because this thought crossed my mind lol. (Hello! It's future me popping in to say: fun fact, rewatching this movie literally ended up being the reason I knew a bar trivia answer last week lmao. Huzzah for the powers of Ace Attorney refreshing my movie quote knowledge.) Be glad this one occurred to me because my first inclination was to lean into the dark past of my vld phase (I'm super joking I had a lot of fun with it before the last few seasons haha sorry idk what to tell you friends) and see how much I'd retained if i tried to make that work but the martian sounded more fun in the end). Apparently my Thing™ is a) poisoning Phoenix and b) putting Apollo in an insane situation in which he's completely on his own--which all things considered is probably far meaner lol. I think Phoenix is to blame for creating his own problem here for choosing to eat the stupid necklace but I fully blame Capcom for all the BS Apollo has gone through after AA4 (bc...the stuff IN that game is. coincidentally also Phoenix's blame to claim. lol). That said I'm part of the problem teehee. Apollo can be Some Guy from the real world who gets isekai'ed and he can also be Mark Watney :P (sorry bud I love you but you have just the Worst case of unavoidable main character syndrome). ((Which is QUITE funny actually because I'll never get over Capcom calling 4,5,6 the """"Apollo Justice Trilogy"""" (it's really not and it's frankly insulting they're trying to say it is.) Like he's. Y’know. The main character in exactly one of those games...... so.)) What was I talking about? Lmao oh yeah so Apollo is left on Mars (not sure he actually has much in the way of Botanist™ vibes but the indomitable, never-say-die, highly sarcastic vibes.... ye haha that's my boy right there). Omg wait sorry I'm writing this and realizing this whole thing actually fits the 18th AND yesterday's (the 20th) prompt as well. Whoops.

Clay as the captain (let him do something, says I)

Trucy as I think the pilot ONLY because I am literally constantly on the lookout to make a Wright Flying Brothers joke, sorry

Klavier aaaas. Uh. So the German astronaut in the film is the chemist and navigator and I know Klav's not necessarily supposed to be actually German canonically but there IS something funny about it

Athena as the flight surgeon and EVA specialist (for a couple reasons but mostly so she can be a doctor lol. I imagine she also can be there for psych stuff too, like, it's a long ass space voyage, that does shit to your brain)

Kay as the SysOp and reactor tech, tbh mostly because for some reason i really have a thing for hacker/programmer Kay, i guess?

Ema I want to be there also lol so that would be exceeding the actual number of OG astronauts but eh it's my AU. The rest of these I'm just directly comparing to a crew member from the martian but I think some of the titles and tasks could be redistributed a little to allow an extra person as a treat for me.

Originally i kind of wanted Sebastian (....SIGH. or...Eustace. (I fear even though it's AAIC release day today, I truly may die on this hill forever, falling on my sword of devotion and gratitude to the fan translation team... That said, while I think Eustace is, like, a Deeply Fine name, I have to say that Excelsius is a fucking knockout name lmfao, that one took me out. Anyway, ahem: "I wanted Seb/Eustace...")) to be there too but I think that's getting into too many cooks territory just specifically bc I'd have too many voices to play with lmfao. So instead I think he's the operator who works the satellite and realizes Apollo is alive, I think he'd fit that well. NOT THAT that needs to be. Included. In the AU. I have...so much self control.

Anyway I have too many thoughts about it, it's a problem, ironically I think I would prefer to focus on the crew and not Apollo himself, so that would at least make it more than just a rehashing of the movie/book. (Or, the movie at least. Does the book spend more time with them? I should read the book.) ...I did, Of Course, also came up with a funny, pseudo-future-science-y way to do a Sibling Reveal in this one, so there's that, too, haha. OKAY AND, SCENE. Snatching my mic back from myself. I'm actually so devoted to the Martian AU now hahaha, I really didn't think I'd let that happen to myself but here we are... You'll see in a bit, but I for-better-or-worse do truly have an extended universe going on for it now, eheh... (Help.)

19 - Spies

Franmaya?? Franziska POV??? Here's the deal: I cannot BELIEVE I got this many days into the month and STILL hadn't come up with a franmaya-centric AU, it's terrible. Also I need a Maya POV if I want to hit my self-set, self-indulgent goal of having POV of every "main" character I can (did I exactly accomplish this no but that's perfectly fine obviously haha it was just a side achievement I had my eye on). So to that end, I ended up with something here that I'm not COMPLETELY sure I won't end up changing when I sit down to actually work on it, but in short: semi The Princess Bride vibes but with spies instead of pirates! Or uh! So um okay full disclosure lol I got all excited about an AU of this kind and then like an hour into daydreaming it into existence I realized I was heavily relying on / leaning into ASSASSIN territory rather than SPY. Which are notably different things. (Wait lol should I blame Spy x Family?? Totally Endo-sensei's fault and not at all mine, boom, take that.) ...And not to go even harder into sxf territory, whoops, but my idea was something along the lines of like, since Kurain School Channeling changes spirit mediums' appearance entirely, I was going to have Maya be something of an expert in disguise, and Franziska I was almost more or less going to let retain her actual position of international prosecutor with Interpol, although perhaps I'd lean more into a James Bond-esque intelligence agency sort of thing than what we see them do in-game, I'm not sure. Maya gets "killed" for real in 2-4 except she actually just becomes an international assassin(?) apprentice. Does this make sense? Probably not lol. But is it a little funny and a little sad? Yes, yes it is, and that's always my sweet spot as a writer. The only problem with this premise is I can't stop myself from considering what Phoenix would do / be doing in the background, because the problem with Maya "dying"-only-being-secretly-alive leaves at least twofold problems in justifying why Nick hasn't gone full conspiracy theory board stop-at-nothing-to-find-her, in that a) If she's not dead, Pearl can't channel her, and knowing Pearl I have to imagine that would be her first move to try tbh, and b) even if that weren't an issue, if the police were never able to track down Maya's body at all, I fully believe Nick would still throw himself at the problem until he's able to find answers irregardless, so. This ain't about him though!! So we'll just all have to deal with knowing he's taking reaaally really bad care of himself while he single-mindedly tries to figure out what's going on ahaha...ha. He's most absolutely the drowning child in the facebook post meme. Don't worry about him.

20 - Crossover/Fusion

Soooo. Okay. First may I say, I'm not the most crossover-fic-y person in the world neither as a reader nor writer. HOWEVER. Unfortunately. My one undying weakness has proven to be Ace Attorney x Legally Blonde (and more specifically Legally Blonde the Musical, the best version, though I do love Reese Witherspoon's performance ofc it's iconic but the musical is just MWAH ugh. One of my all-time favorite musicals and definitely the one I've listened to the most esp the past couple years hahaha.) The problem is, I've joked about so many slight variations / one very Long Intensive specific AA/LBtM crossover AU ideas, that trying to limit myself to a one-shot I could conceivably finish within a day proved too much for my decision paralysis and I didn't end up writing any of them lmao. Alas. Mostly, I just think it would be funny to see the characters interact in something of a vacuum just for fun, the problem is just that I happen to be uniquely terrible at not thinking through a Crack AU until I can, ahem, "crack" it, so to speak, to make it actually justifiably function. So in theory all I want to write for this day is some combination of like, Elle and Phoenix interacting and Miles and Emmett interacting, or the four of them having a conversation that goes something like "omg wait me too!! i also went from a creative undergrad degree directly into law to chase after some guy!! what are the odds teehee" while Emmett and Miles watch in horror, and also alternatively Emmett and Phoenix mostly bemusedly watching Elle and Miles geek out over like, fancy ass high class (pink) clothing like "uh yeah i have no idea what any of those words mean. she bought me this suit and i honestly wouldn't even be able to find the store again. oh no way he bought you yours too?? man, wild." Etc. (If anyone's interested in really watching me suffer and spiral: my longer and more intensive idea for an AU with them is to have them be tackling parallel cases where either of them (Elle and Phoenix) has specific knowledge that is helpful to defending the others' client, and they get like place-swapped through dimensional shenanigans somehow also related to the cases. And Phoenix has to abide by, like, nominally-accurate US trial law (I know he wouldn't really be licensed shhhh) -- by which I mean Emmett is sitting as his co-council and exercising the most restraint possible to keep from bashing his head into the table every two seconds. And Elle has to abide by guilty-until-proven-innocent Japanifornia trial law ("wait WHAT omg what do you MEAN the prosecution can just, like, not submit their evidence before the trial???? wait what do you MEAN we should just TAKE THAT that is EVIDENCE AT A CRIME SCENE--"). On the bright side, Elle gets to experience being one of the most normally-dressed people in a courtroom and not at all being looked down upon for her general vibes and wardrobe (like tell me she wouldn't fit right in in the ace attorney universe and seem completely ordinary), and Phoenix gets to experience a real jury (take that jurist system trial that Capcom would like to never ever talk about again) and also the judge going "so, Prospective Juror No. 103, do you understand that the defense in this criminal trial does not need to say a single word in order to be doing their job? the burden of proof lies entirely on the prosecution the entire time and the defense and defendant could choose to remain silent every day of trial and that would be completely within their rights, do you understand that? are you okay with that?" etc etc, shout out to my jury service a couple month ago and the kinds of questions a real life California judge asks jurors that would seriously blow the minds of every single character in Ace Attorney lmfao can you imagine? Anyway.) So yeah idk. Also something something, spirit mediums and the whole Greek Chorus bit from the musical... "School Spirit"... much to think about in crack AU land hahaha.)

21 - Absurd Tragedy

To be honest with you, this is the entire series lmao, so much so that I had trouble even thinking of an AU to be "alternate" in any way here, hahaha. What I sort-of landed on and have vague outline notes about in my doc is (not to make another excellent-musical-adaptation-of-an-already-top-tier-movie-which-is-itself-a-highly-unfaithful-adaptation-of-a-fairly-obscure-book reference) a Shrek the Musical "I Think I Got You Beat"-style debate about whose canonical absurd tragic circumstances are the worst, lmfao. Granted, this then turned into a "wait what if I use said argument as an absurd way in which to make Apollo and Trucy have a siblings realization completely on their own, which both compounds the fact they've both already lived such tragedy to begin with but also could touch on Phoenix knowing about it and not telling them about it", and uhhhhh lmfao a debate specifically between them is OBVIOUSLY not the romantic flirting banter of the song between Shrek and Fiona lmfao but like still, the general premise, just in a sibling bickering coat of paint instead. Also was toying with it being an Athena POV just to sell home / for the additional absurdity of the experience of "you've gone over to your friend's house to hang out and suddenly they're obnoxiously arguing with their sibling and their parents are nowhere to be seen and you're not exactly sure what you're supposed to do with yourself except awkwardly wait for them to be done" lmfao. Which I've most absolutely experienced from both ends multiple times hahaha. The alternative option for this prompt is just for me to write an excessively long essay debating and attempting to personally rank the main cast's level of absurd tragedy compared to each other, lol.

22 - Orphan

I wrote 324 words (slash one physical lined page in my actual notebook) of this while I was on vacation, lol. AU where Miles invites Phoenix to go watch one of Gregory's trials (or Phoenix invites himself, or Gregory invites him while Miles tries to hold the landline phone away from him, lol) and I mean of course the trial he goes to is The Trial (like, Jeffre... AW CRAP wait I don't actually know what Jeff Master's or Kate Hall's official names are lmfao uhhh. Well you know what don't worry about that. Happy AAIC day once again..? Lol. Anyway, the concluding day of Gregory's last trial, obviously, ignore the defendant's name.) Like, basically, here's my thought. AU where Phoenix is also there, and not only does that mean he knows what happened to Miles and Gregory but also, like, it's Phoenix. Tell me even at 9 he wouldn't be insisting on taking care of the poor kid who just lost everything and has nowhere in the world to go. Tell me he's not like, begging his parents they need to help him, lol. I think really this is just sort of an AU to explore one of my several personal headcanons for what Phoenix's parents are like, because I've spent a lot of time on a different version of them (coughs for the last AU on this list...coughs) but I also have a version of them which I find fun / funny where they're like, kinda hippy-dippy and like very hands-off (tbh almost all of my hc's about the Greater Wrights is they're very hands off, just in different ways) but in more of a "we want our child to experience the beauty and wonder of the world on his own time and not influence him or set rigid standards to conform to" kind of philosophy. Anyway my point is they like adopt/foster Miles somehow before Manfred can actually get his hands on him (he's still too busy dealing with the fresh bullet wound I guess?) This is just a gen au of course, not only because they're 9 lol but also the logistics of being adoptive/foster siblings gets weird quick lmao, but mostly I just find it interesting to think about what might have happened if Miles was in an environment where people paid more attention and cared more (and weren't explicitly influencing and manipulating him to exasperate the problem on purpose), because I have to imagine examining his nightmares a little more closely a little more quickly might have led someone (say, Phoenix who was also there in this AU) to find something slightly off about it or like start putting pieces together quicker, idk. I, uh, I'm not gonna lie to you, I don't actually remember how I intended to end this one hahaha ;; I started it but I was on vacation and neglected to outline / summarize the rest of my ideas the day of, so I guess I'll just have to see where my mind takes me when I get back to it.

23 - Musician

So my FIRST thought for this day was to use it as an excuse to finish my First Ever Ace Attorney Fic, which has been in WIP stasis for...uh.... 6. Years. i--SIX????? Shit. lmfao. yeah uh. I guess I created the first version of the doc (on my OneNote, god) back in 2018. So. Yeah. Hm. Omfg. This fic has partially existed since before Phoenix Disbarment Day. That is so. Wow. Damn. Y'all we're so close to aa4 time (2026) what the hell??? Ahem. Pianist Phoenix. That's. My point lmao. I know the original thing that sparked me loving this concept was actually some tumblr post I saw apparently a LONG long time ago, hahaha, and I know there's no way I'll find it with tumblr's abysmal search function, but just know it was not a completely original idea of mine when I say i fucking LOVE the headcanon that, you know what actually Phoenix CAN play the piano, he just chooses to do it as shittily as possible because that's kind of what he's like post-disbarment and he'd absolutely get a kick out of fucking with people like that even if they have no way to know they're being fucked with. It's like, he's no virtuoso or anything, but he can passably play the piano! He's just being an ass on purpose! It kills me every time lol. I won't say I think that's necessarily true in canon so ofc it's not like an end-all-be-all hc for me or anything but it's just sooooo funny to me that I like to break it out any time I possibly can. Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't. Honestly, look me in the eyes and tell me if he actually put his mind to it in any meaningful way he wouldn't be able to get decent quickly regardless, considering the fact he became an accomplished lawyer on more-or-less a total whim. This to say: that was my intention, to finish this fic I've had brewing that was about Phoenix actually being able to play the piano and hiding it for a really long time but eventually being found out by Miles by chance. Except then I sat down on the plane and started writing a Pearl POV instead? In which she finds out about more or less the same exact concept but from Iris--also by chance, but less actually catching him playing and more being asked, "Oh, does he still play? He was always good at that." And then bc it's Pearl (Pearl I love you), of COURSE she goes and confronts him about it. Pearl might be the single most confrontational character in these games tbh which is SO FUNNY to me. Like I'm kind of exaggerating obviously but also am I? I know she has psyche-locks you have to break through multiple times throughout the series but stiiiill. Everyone else is so repressed and weird about anything remotely vulnerable, I stg. Props to Maya for making sure Pearl turned out pretty okay I guess, lmao. Anyhow yeah that's sort of the AU I ended up with. Pearl POV where she and Iris know they're sisters (don't get me started on this I have so many thoughts about the amount of information I'm positive Maya and Pearl are NEVER given skjflj) and Pearl visits Iris in prison regularly and on one such visit maybe she mentions Nick's job at Borscht and Iris makes a totally innocuous comment to the effect that Pearl learns he actually knows how to play the piano and she goes to get mad at him about it because he's definitely been pretending he can't and Pearl's pretty sure he's told neither Maya nor Trucy the truth and that cannot be left to stand.

24 - Pretend Hate

Okay, this exists in a similar realm to the Orphan prompt, except instead of Phoenix being there for the trial or the Wrights taking Miles in before Manfred can, it's more just AU where Miles doesn't actually cut all contact and he and Phoenix successfully end up exchanging correspondence (in semi-secret) during the time they're separated (i.e. they remain friends and close during the 15 years they're separated in canon). "Semi-secret" because they--esp Miles--somehow hide who exactly it is they're talking / writing to all the time but don't necessarily hide the fact they are doing that. Like, a fake cultural / language exchange program or something? I feel like there could be a world where Manfred really doesn't give a shit what Miles is up to as long as he's being molded into "someone Gregory Edgeworth would hate" (I don't think he would lol but that's another AU) and becoming a model von Karma protege prosecutor and such. He obviously goes to lengths to cut Miles off from everything he's familiar with in that he takes him to Germany, but I've always thought it's way more on Miles feeling guilty and blaming himself and thinking he's unworthy / pushing people away being the reason why they never talked before aa1 despite Phoenix's "attempts to contact him," whatever those may be specifically. And, yeah, I've watched that one episode of the anime but tbh I don't really use anime canon for almost anything besides maybe some of the fun visuals, haha, so I'm kind of disregarding that anyway. ANYWAY. My point is. The "pretend hate" part is that--sometime over the course of exchanging correspondence, Phoenix starts thinking something's weird and gets it in his head to "investigate" himself, since he's still in LA / has access to the scene of the crime and stuff, and then as a combo of him just plugging away at it until he has enough (circumstantial) evidence to be like "Miles I think you're wrong about this" and also a younger, slightly less repressed, slightly less in Manfred's pocket Miles actually being somehow willing to consider alternatives a little--they're able to put their heads together and eventually come to the (correct) conclusion ahead of time, before the 15-year statute of limitations, that it was almost certainly Manfred who did it. And then they work together to figure out how they can possibly PROVE that but they haven't thought of anything foolproof by the time aa1 events start rolling around (or at the very least, the 5-years-ago sections of aa3? It might make more sense if it's as soon as Miles returns to Japanifornia, and also I think Phoenix has way less reason to fall for Dahlia/Iris so hard if Miles is around and *coughs* available lmfao. Anyhow). So, in the hopes it'll keep Manfred from getting suspicious of Miles, they publicly pretend to hate each other, putting on a show of more of the canon attitude Miles esp. has before 1-4, but behind the scenes they're actually working together trying to think of a way they can definitely get a conviction to stick that Manfred won't be able to worm out of. And that's the AU! Idk, in terms of additional thoughts, I couldn't decide what to do / what would happen to Mia in this AU either, which doesn't super matter but did give me pause. So she might live, idk, depends the exact timeline. I do also think a scene where--Dahlia still hits on Phoenix in the reading room/courthouse library but he's like, actively there waiting for one of Miles' trials to conclude for a covert meeting, so when Miles gets there and is like "What are you messing with over there?" Phoenix is like "Oh, hey, check out this weird bottle some girl just gave me because apparently she fell in love at first sight, haha, isn't that so funny--" and then Miles recognizes it from the Fawles trial and they catch Dahlia earlier or something, idk. Or alternatively Phoenix was AT that trial so HE recognizes it. Or maybe it's funniest if he was there but doesn't recognize it until Miles does lmao, this is not the point of this AU but I can't stop myself from considering this part of it.

25 - Scientists

So THIS is the day I sort of alluded to earlier, many many words of post ago, where I got so invested in my The Martian AU that I started accidentally worldbuilding about it. What I've started and have about 400 words of (slash one notebook page, again from the plane after my vacation), is like, AU where it's NASA instead of law and I can make Phoenix go "What, like it's hard?" only it's about literally rocket science this time hahaha. Basically for this fic I just thought, well what if Phoenix just shows up as a flight tech or engineer or something (idk I don't really know that much about real life astronautics) as Miles is preparing for some space mission or something and he's just like WHAT are YOU doing HERE. I know I know I made Apollo literally be the titular martian and yes he ALSO has a (or tbh probably has a WORSE) canonical debilitating fear of heights, so, shhh, but I do like the idea that Phoenix is like, oh, who, me? In the flying metal death trap? No fucking thank you, I will be down here watching and talking directly to you through a headset or something. You cannot escape me however i can at least escape the building I'm in. No interest in seeing the Earth from above, thanks. Actually iirc Miles also doesn't love heights but meh whatever I'm fairly certain Phoenix talks about it the earliest in the series so there you go. Anyway, this would all be a mission prior to whatever mission it is that Apollo & Co. go on to Mars for the first part of the AU, so I guess you could consider it a prequel? And probably a fairly shippy one. I have other reasons for which it's fun for me if wrightworth is at least together if not outright married before the events of the "The Martian" part of the AU, so this one would be, like, about how exactly that went down.

26 - Victorian Era

Okay, once again, this just. IS. Literally. Dai Gyakuten Saiban / The Great Ace Attorney. Lol. That said, I've always loved the fanart I've seen of like Ryuunosuke and Phoenix (and respective Co.'s) interacting, or like, one or the other ending up in the other time period somehow, so I thought it'd probably be fun to try my hat at that. I feel like I've neglected the tgaa characters anyway, considering I actually somehow managed to reference PLvPW already, which is obviously significantly more of a spinoff and also just largely non-canonical, lmao. Also tgaa is just SO GOOD, augh. I'd love to have the multi-witness cross examinations from both of those games back sometime again, and I had so much fun with the jury in tgaa too, excellent mechanic. What was I talking about? So, I never completely decided on a concrete direction to take this, but even before AU-gust had started I'd already been toying with the idea of an AU where maybe Maya or Pearl channels a character from tgaa specifically because some documentary or special or something comes out talking about the real-life Herlock Sholmes (as opposed to the Totally Fictional "Sherlock Holmes" who Phoenix references in that one trilogy line, because I really think that's the funniest possible explanation for the discrepancy) and they're arguing over how that cannot possibly be a real person and no one was named that and etc etc and then to prove once and for all one way or the other Hurley is channeled and also for bonus joke content "recognizes" Phoenix at first (idk pretend his eyesight got worse in his older age, I know Phoenix and Ryuunosuke look, tbh, less alike than Ryuu and Apollo do, lmao, but again that's another AU) and then I get to play with Phoenix's mom's maiden name is Naruhodou and his middle name is Ryuuichi or such to that effect, because that is also a favorite headcanon of mine (not in small part because I can project my own life onto him by making him half-Japanese from SoCal, lol). So that's an idea I'd had that was already decently fleshed out and the ONLY problem is that if I'm having characters actually be channeled then there's a very real limiting factor of how many spirit mediums exist, and also that means Maya and/or Pearl don't get to interact with them, which for the sake of not overwriting would be good but for the sake of my love of a chaotic group conversation would be bad. But, uh, hopefully I do manage to hold myself to a less broad cast of characters, ideally, instead of bringing a bunch of them over to the other time period to see how they'd deal with that and interact en masse. Ha. Haha.

27. Younger / De-Aged

So here's another AU I'd already had idle thoughts about before AU-gust had even started! I...will get into this later, TRUST I will, lmfao, but I do have an extremely involved AU already in which Time Travel of the "regression" type is involved, i.e., they have their memories of the "future" but are thrown back into the past including their own younger bodies however-many-years-ago. So I've got that type of thing covered, I promise I do, haha. And additionally, I've actually already written them "younger" for my colorless AU way back on day 2, so I did think perhaps I'd just continue that one and say it was for this prompt (a smart person thing to do. this is the objectively correct option). On the other hand. I find pre-DL6 Phoenix and Miles reacting to how their lives actually turned out in the end HILARIOUS. Tell me it's not funny. And tell me it's not, like, some sort of depressing-yet-ultimately-hopeful for the older/current them to look at their child selves and be like Kid, Oh, You're Going To Go Through Some Shit, but also reflect on how they did make it and things turned out okay and life goes on etc etc. My problem with this kind of thing is that it's hard to come up with a justification for and that's not a problem in itself but it is a problem in me not knowing how i'm going to end a fic, which often gets me decision-paralysis-ed into not being able to start it in the first place, which did in fact happen to me here, haha. I think ideally I'd just do a quick "wait, was that a dream?" kind of thing where they (Miles and Nick) have a short conversation with themselves, but... Uh-oh, what, did you think that was all I had? You clearly don't know me at all. OTHER au option where young Phoenix is in the future/present and rather than himself and Miles it's the Wright Anything Agency who like, idk, find him roaming the streets of LA (fun fact! I actually came up with this AU one day while I was quite literally roaming the streets of LA myself at like 3am-ish. Do with that what you will). He is of course wearing a hat or beanie or something at first because come on, that's way more fun, and no matter how much Trucy, Apollo, and Athena are like "hm idk something about this kid seems familiar" I just don't think my first thought upon seeing some vaguely familiar kid alone on the street would be, like, "Oh, that's obviously a child version of my father/coworker/boss!" So. I'm not really sure that one has an end point either, though, so the same problem still stands, haha. The bad, someone get a spray bottle to spritz me, option of this is, obviously, to combine the two, so it's like the WAA find him first and then are like UHHHHH we need an adult (never mind actual adult-age-ness between them) and somehow end up getting Miles there too, but idk. I... should not. Overcomplicate. I shouldn't. Even, even if...august is over...so theoretically there's no longer any sort of On-Time component since it's late either way........ definitely not.

28 - Caretaker

Here are my exact notes / entire doc for this day. Ahem. And I quote: i brought up the lighthouse keeper thing but i dont know where that would be going exactly maybe this is a thing i could do franmaya for??? since i still havent gotten there? actually lol that as a lighthouse thing is funny. ghost romance? my three tropes rattle End quote. Anyway, shout-out to my friend hailstorm for being the one there to brainstorm "lighthouse keeper" with at the self-same bar trivia that I mentioned previously, lmao. I actually think that was even the same exact day as the The Martian quote was a relevant answer to a question. So yeah, even though I already kind of have franmaya planned for the spies day, that's both kind of sort of a darker AU overall and--WELP well, okay, so, i do, you know, recognize maybe a ghost romance isn't, uh, necessarily the fluffiest kind of AU lmao. Don't mind that. My point is, I love the vibes of a lighthouse keeper AU, and I generally like ghost romance as a trope, so that does feel like a viable option. Honestly, I kind of separately wanted an excuse to practice writing miego also, so maybe the Feys are just all chillin' in this lighthouse for...Some Reason, and that's side-plot relevant somehow, idk. I know Franziska and Godot exist in the same place for a minute in 3-5, but I honestly can't really remember them interacting? I think she'd fucking HATE him though lmfao. He'd think she's funny but I actually think she'd be too reactive for his most preferred teasing/fucking-with-people dynamics, haha. Regardless, if he is there at all, it's a very minor B plot, I think, 'cause this ain't about him, lol.

29 - Forced into Hiding

Achtung, baby, 2566 words of this are written! Lol. So uh, yeah. In short, AU where Klavier gets hounded by fans on the street while he's also having just a bad personal day, and the closest and best place he can think to hide from them is at the WAA. I, um, actually hadn't realized I'd written quite this much of this, haha, it was supposed to be short and fairly silly but then it turned into Klavier having a little bit of a panic attack maybe and getting consoled by Apollo, sure, of course, but then also having to deal with and experience some amount of closure / reach some kind of understanding with the Wrights, also. It's kind of part Klav character study, kind of part complaint against freaking Capcom for neglecting him (boo, I love him, stop ignoring him, or, yknow, worse, whatever the heck turnabout academy was supposed to do for him, which honestly almost felt like a step back to be quite honest). Okay, also, taking a slightly closer look at what I've already written, the REASON I'd thought I'd written way less than this is definitely because he hasn't even GOTTEN to the Agency yet, never mind spoken with any of its members, lmao. That would do it. In any case, I like the idea of Klavier having a bit of a vulnerable moment, and I also like the idea of him and Phoenix actually, like, talking for real, instead of, once again, whatever Turnabout Academy and DD was meant to tell me, which seems to be less than nothing. I kind of like the fact that it gave him a law mentor? I mean, she was very dead, but I have a very meaningful Use for her in later-to-be-announced-AUs-I-keep-teasing, haha. I of course considered other people and times when people in AA might be forced into hiding, but this felt like a silly but also meaningful way to do that without it just being an exploration of Miles and his not-suicide note (which wasn't exactly "forced" anyhow, he did that all on his own) or like, Zak Gramarye (who also completely did that to himself but w/e). Making it about Klavier completely escapes the bounds of canon, because canon is a weenie about talking about any of his actual feelings EVER, so screw you Capcom, I'm doing it for you. Don't worry about it. Trucy commiserating with him about still Loving someone, perhaps the very closest person biologically related to you you've ever known and depended on in your life, who not only did you very big harm personally but explicitly used you in a very real and participatory way to perpetuate the harm elsewhere and all the complexities about Feelings For And About Them Therein, and Phoenix somehow having enough self-awareness to recognize that shutting down completely and isolating yourself away doesn't actually do you any good even when you're at your lowest, and recognizing that Klavier doesn't exactly have a "Trucy" to be a focal point to draw him out of that, and that therefore he needs to be a bit more open to his peers. (Insert joke about "Well, I'm really definitely not suggesting you go adopt an entire child, that's really probably, uh, not the way to go, actually, but, you know. Everyone needs people, that just makes us human." Etc.)

30 - The Beginning of the World

So, hm, as it turns out, I got extremely sidetracked this day thinking about the next day on the docket. Whoops! Unfortunately this ultimately means my ideas for this day as of now are relatively uninspired: I had the thought that I could explore the beginning of Troupe Gramarye, which is its own sort of world, or else, maybe something about the beginning of the series itself but from the somewhat unconventional POV of a one Mr. Larry Butz. Yes, that's a bit self-serving in that it lends toward trying to complete a list of "main, recurring characters' POVs" that I've had as a sidequest all month, but, still. That said, just exploring actual canon through Larry's POV isn't exactly what I'd classify as an "AU" necessarily, so I feel like something would need to be different here. Okay, wait--not to draw inspiration a dang week late to the party, BUT. Now that I'm typing this up, I'm thinking, okay, maybe, what if. The "Beginning" of the series, technically speaking, is basically the fact that Phoenix gets put on (class) trial for stealing Miles' lunch money--which notably only happened because Larry himself picked it up when it fell on the floor. So, perhaps, what about an AU where he doesn't do that? I mean, I guess it would just turn the entire world of AA into something of a terrible series of tragedies with no real closure about them, lol, rip, but it could possibly be interesting? I dunno! (And, yes, I know DL-6 itself is more or less the basis of the series, if we're being ticky-tacky, but Phoenix wouldn't have been involved without meeting Miles, and that somewhat necessitates the class trial, and without him none of canon would get resolved, so. I will say, I do love going back to the earliest points to see how and how much you can make canon deviate or stay the same--reasonably speaking--via minor tweaks and butterfly effect and all that, so this could be interesting, although I once again must say I think it really just means a bunch of innocent people, Miles included, are going to be put away and possibly executed over murders that weren't their faults, lol. Hm. Much to consider.)

31 - Two(+) of the Above:

Beginning of the World + Younger/De-Aged + Canon Divergence (+ Feat. Jokers: Guardian, Everybody Lives)

With all of this, the ONLY prompts I've actually missed on this list become Animagus which I swapped for the Wings joker, and the last joker of the four, Thriller, which was never exactly a priority of mine because I'm not sure I'd write that sort of thing particularly well, so! Wild! Completionists everywhere almost rejoice, haha. SOOOOO. For the eagle-eyed readers out there, I'll bet you're just dying to know what this one AU I've been teasing all post could Possibly be to warrant such a build-up, right? (...Right?) The answer is the at-ow! (Phonetically, lol. I've been calling it that instead of out loud saying all the letters in AATTAU out loud every time.) My friend Ben can attest to the fact that this behemoth AU (her word which I'm stealing) has been in the works for, uhhhh... months?

MONTHS. AHAHA. Ha. That. Sure says March! It sure does! And it is not lying. Lmfao. (Ignore the time, I was working overnight then--my beloved work schedule whomst I miss dearly--so that's a perfectly reasonable discord-ing hour for March-me.) Also, once again, I'm choosing to blame Ben for my extensive AU problems, she sent me a very cute time loop AA fic that utterly destroyed my entire mind because it got the mere idea of "Time-based AU" caught in my endless void-idea-hole. So. Here's the real rub. The literal reason I started doing this AU-gust challenge in the freaking first place was that I was absolutely Desperate to find a way to overcome my writer's block. And one of the (admittedly many) reasons I wanted to do this was because I have been ITCHING to write this stupid behemoth AU for real. I have a massive outline doc already, I have a whole slew of scenes planned, I have lots of character archage, I have sooo many things I want to say and explore about them all you have No Idea. It's extremely self-indulgent and absolutely my personal magnum opus for all my very specific favorite AA headcanons and ideas and thoughts. And obviously, it worked! I did indeed overcome my writer's block! And I had so much fun doing it!! And I'll admit, from the very beginning, I had been eyeing that "Everybody Lives" joker prompt, because...that's it! That's basically the point of the AATTAU (Ace Attorney Time Travel Alternate Universe, if that wasn't clear, haha). I don't want to let myself get TOO into it, because Oh Boy, I sure will! If you let me! Haha. But basically the premise is EXACTLY what I stated in that very first discord message I could find about it. Maybe not so much "time travel" technically speaking than it is "gaining memories of everything that happened in canon right as the DL-6 earthquake happens", so it's more regression than actual time travel since they're in their own younger bodies and everything, but still. It's basically my excuse to treat canon like it did happen and YET allow for everybody to survive and for the very fun cocktail of traumas and joys that come from remembering what happened but having the chance for something different (and all the effort that goes into making something different happen in the first place).

Now, as far as AU-gust goes. I was obviously not about to even pretend I could remotely start this during August itself or justify connecting any of it to the series and the prompts I'd already written for it, lol, but I also couldn't get the idea out of my head, so I got it in my head I really wanted to end the month with SOMETHING that somehow tied into my AATTAU, if only to motivate myself to actually get on it and start writing out instead of solely outlining everything that's been in the works all these months. So to that end, I saw the "Everybody Lives" and the "Beginning of the World" prompts, and an idea came to me. I'd been dancing around the justification aspect of this AU for most of the time I've had it because let's be honest, it's just a very self-indulgent idea and it does not NEED "justification" to serve the purpose I want it to serve and be what I want it to be. But the AU-gust prompts gave me some actual inspiration and an Idea as to a way to solidify my unnecessary "justification" but in a way that it doesn't need to be directly part of the final product of the AATTAU (like, I could make it a separate one-shot and either just link it to and from the AATTAU fic itself, or if it all ends up being a series, then I could just include it in the series but it wouldn't be necessary to read to understand what's going on. And so, I present! The Ami Fey one-shot special I came up with just to fit these prompts :3 ...And by "i present" i mean, uh, I wrote 4k words of it on the 31st and didn't even come close to what I wanted to cover, because I suck at being concise. Lmfao. (Shocker.) Basically, I used Ami Fey as a semi-self-insert kind of godlike figure to reason out a semi-plausible way to make the concept I want to explore happen, happen. And I had a lot of fun, but I do still have a bunch to finish, but either way, I'm very pleased to have a (somewhat silly but ultimately fun for me) reasoning as to the gears ticking behind the scenes of my idea! To be somewhat less vague, the whole AU is predicated on the idea that, Phoenix and/or Miles (who remember from the beginning / from December 28th, 2001) meeting the other characters at-or-after the time they originally met in canon are able to recall their memories of the "original" (i.e. canon) timeline. I've used some magatama shenanigans to have some fun with this, and I'm now using Ami Fey and magatama shenanigans to explain how and why this is A Thing, even if it isn't necessarily the objectively most logically sound argument I've ever made. It's still a good one, in my book, and more importantly I like it, so that's all that really matters.

To briefly explain the "two" (by which I mean 5?) of the "above" I'm using here:

Beginning of the World: This fic specifically would show the beginning of the "world" of this AU specifically! Woohoo! Go Ami Fey, creating a whole new set of problems for our beloved little Guys to go through, hahaha. I think I may have based her character a little too much on Maya mischievousness, but, oh well. Let's just say that's where she gets it from.

Younger/De-Aged: As I've already kind of expressed, the premise of this AU is mostly just them being their own younger selves except they also have the memories of all of canon (and maybe a year or two after the fact, I need to confirm a couple dates).

Canon Divergence: I feel like this is decently self-explanatory, but then again maybe it's a bit cheesy to include this here, since it basically diverges from nearly the first major event of canon (DL-6), but that's not the only time things go almost-canonically but diverge a bit in some way, so I think it really does fit here.

Guardian: This one is a bit multi-fold. It somewhat refers to the way I'm making Gregory Edgeworth the de facto guardian (as in, legal guardian) of mostly everyone I possibly can because I love him and he would be great at it. But also, guardian in that, Mr. Savior Complex Phoenix Wright himself has literally all of the information at his disposal to try to "save" the potential Happy Lives of literally every person he loves, and, well. He does a pretty good job about it; not without cost, haha, but I feel like I can definitely call him a "guardian" of others in this AU. And, as for specifically the one-shot Ami fic, she is essentially the guardian of the entire Fey lineage, in this AU at least, so that also totally fits and is most immediately relevant.

Everybody Lives: I think this one is pretty self-explanatory at this point, lol. But for the one-shot: Ami is essentially trying to secure an "everybody lives" scenario, even if it hasn't been achieved yet, so it's more an aspiration at that point, but ultimately it is indeed successful. Now, "living" does not mean, like, "totally healthy" (mentally or physically), so there's lots more to it, but in short, yes, they live.

And......that's basically a wrap on that!

I mean, it isn't actually at all, since I still have to finish 26/31 fics, lmfao, but as far as the idea generation stage goes, and the use of the AU-gust prompts, that's what's up in my world! Somewhere out there maybe there's an AU of my actual real life where i finished more of these on time, but i'm still pretty pumped by all the work that's already been made on making so many AA fics a reality for me. I've come a long way since starting that first AA fic in 2018...!!

I still have all the aforementioned 26 fics to finish obviously, and I also have AU continuations planned for at the very least, day 2's colorless prompt and day 3's dark academia prompt (let alone day 31's, lol, but that's its own monster entirely), but I'm optimistic!

Thankfully I actually finished using nano to word track for me before they, you know, doubled down on AI and called everyone "abelist" (???) for not supporting it, which, uh. Well. But for my own posterity and if anyone's curious, here's what my word counts looked like throughout the month of AU-gust--admittedly including some planning and outlining:

It ended up being 51,377 words total in August on these AU prompts alone!

I feel like I wanted to say something poignant and meaningful at the end here, but it's almost 9:30 and I work at 4am tomorrow, so I'm going to go ahead and wrap this post up here, haha. If you read all of this, thank you very much for joining me on my little journey!

Once again, here is the Ao3 series where I'll post anything more that gets done, so if you'd like to see how any of these AUs turn out, feel free to keep an eye on that!

And here is the previous post with the 1st half+ of the AUs if you missed it and are interested now!

My copy arrived literally as I was writing this up so I've spent the last several prompts of this post listening to the AAIC soundtrack in the music collection, and, oh man, it's seriously so surreal this exists??? I might be an old fogey who has and will for an indeterminate amount of time continue to have trouble letting go of the fan translation names I've lived with for the past decade or whatever, but it's seriously so awesome the entire series is finally available internationally!! Let's hope for my sake AA7 doesn't come out before I finish any of my AATTAU, because that would really throw a bit of a wrench in my decision-making process, lol.

Bye for now!

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knickynoo · 1 year

Text

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep03 “A Friend In Deed” Review and Commentary

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: Lots of funny moments, another woman from the past falls in love with Marty, and I go on ramblings about Tiffany Tannen and my dislike of Cartoon Marty.

Season 2 of the animated series is really making use of green screens, huh? In episode one, Doc was stranded on an island, then he was in outer space in episode two, and now he's at the "Hill Valley Beach and Synchronized Swimming Center." He's wearing a funky outfit and using a metal detector to search for money in the sand.

Is this the first time we're seeing Doc in shorts?? I can't recall, but it might be.

He tells us that he's found 85¢ so far and that it's only cost him $200 in equipment to do so. Oh, Doc. You are one of a kind.

He leads us into a story of another situation that involved buried valuables. And instead of the story beginning like it typically does with, "It all started when my sons..." or "It all started when Marty...", this story begins with Biff. And that lets us know right off the bat that it's all downhill from here, lol.

Cue the cartoon!

We begin at the Tannen residence (always a treat to hear Tom Wilson's voice), where Biff has decided that what his family needs is a swimming pool. Yes, his family. And who do we meet? His son!

I've always been intrigued by what adult Biff's family situation was like. I know that an early draft of the film had George buying the peanut brittle from Biff's young daughter and that the BTTF card game and the Citizen Brown comics mention Biff's teenage daughter Tiffany Tannen. (She was also supposed to have a role in the video game, but her character was cut and "combined" with the alternate version of Jennifer.) This is the concept art for her.

There's also speculation that Tiff might be included in the "Continuum Conundrum" series from the IDW comics. In the story, which takes place in the months following Marty's return home after part III, there's mention of Jennifer's friend group, which includes someone named "Tiffany." Some fans headcanon that this is a referring to Tiff Tannen. I don't really have an opinion on the theory one way or another, but it would be SUPER interesting if one of Jennifer Parker's best friends in the Lone Pine Timeline is Biff's daughter.

I would LOVE to see fanfics that include her or even focus on her. There's so much potential! You could have her resemble what she was supposed to be in the game—all rough around the edges and 100% a Tannen—or completely rework her to be a genuinely nice person. Maybe she actively rejects the Tannen reputation. Maybe she's a sweet person, but people are wary of her and judge her based on her appearance or her name. Maybe she is friends with Jen and thinks Marty is a neat guy. So much someone can do.

I digress.

In typical Biff fashion, he's going to make his young son dig the hole for a pool while he sits around in a lounge chair. Father of the year. Also, we haven't seen a whole lot of Biff so far in this series, so I haven't had anything to say about him, but it's clear he's not the meek version of Biff we have at the end of the first film. Cartoon Biff acts very much like he was never taken down a notch or had anything happen to humble him. So...I wonder what the story is there.

(Side note to also mention that we haven't seen—or even heard of—George and Lorraine. Marty's just always at Doc's house, with no information on parents or siblings. I wouldn't be surprised if a young kid watching this in 1992 without having seen the movies simply thought that Marty was part of Doc's family.)

While digging, Little Biff (referred to as Junior) unearths a piece of paper. We don't know what it is, but Biff gets a smile on his face as he reads it, so it can't be good. We cut immediately to the Parker family ranch!

Jen's family owns a ranch! I love it!

Marty is there having lunch with Jen and her grandparents, but it is NOT going well. Because Cartoon Marty is nearly unrecognizable from his Movie Counterpart, he's being an immature, disrespectful doofus around Jen's relatives. He places a whoopee cushion on Jennifer's grandmother's seat, then puts a fake ice cube with a spider "frozen" in it into her drink. And he just sits there hysterically laughing even though nobody else thinks it's funny. Jennifer's grandfather in particular becomes angered by Marty's incessant pranking.

Grandpa Parker, considering pummeling Marty.

And I know I've mentioned many times about how much I dislike the choices made with Marty's character, but. Seriously, what happened here? WHO made these choices and why didn't Bob Gale stop them? This might as well have been a completely different character, that's how unlike Marty he is. He's self-centered a lot of the time. He's dishonest (there was a whole episode where he just piles on lie after lie). He's cocky and inconsiderate and ridiculously immature. He is NOT my Marty McFly.

See the boy on the left? Love the boy on the left. Fantastic little dude. Five out of five stars. See the boy on the right? Don't like him all that much. Many things wrong. Sad.

It bums me out that they took such a great, loveable guy and ripped all his great traits to shreds, leaving us with whatever it is Cartoon Marty's got going on. I don't even know. Guy's got issues.

Time to reel my focus back in. Just as Grandpa Parker seems poised to give Marty a serious talking to, Biff shows up wit the police. Marty asks Jennifer why her grandparents would invite Biff because, "He's a jerk with a bad sense of humor."

"Look who's talking," Jen's grandfather replies.

Go. Grandpa. Parker.

When Grandpa Parker orders Biff off his land, Biff informs him that it's HIS land. The piece of paper he found in his yard was a deed to the Parker property dated 1875 and signed by one of Jen's relatives, as well as Biff's great-great-granduncle.

Biff tells the Parkers that he's going to turn the ranch into a toxic waste dump and miniature golf course, which is both horrible and very funny. Quite in-character for Biff Tannen. As he prepares to order the house to be demolished, Jennifer calls to Marty for help, but he's taken off on his hoverboard. Assuming that he's doing it to run away from the trouble, Jennifer proclaims, "There's nothing worse than a chicken." The actual, literal chicken standing beside her gets very insulted and walks away, lol.

We then go to the Brown home, where Verne is impatiently waiting to eat. Jules is making him pancakes on a ridiculous specialized griddle he invented because Jules is extra like that.

Marty bursts into the kitchen, yelling that he needs to borrow the DeLorean to help Jen's family. Jules informs him that the car isn't there—Doc and Clara have taken it to go see Hamlet, performed by the original cast—but that he can use the train. Marty and the boys take off for 1875.

Once there, Marty immediately sets his sights on warning Jennifer's relatives about the ranch. However, he's interrupted before he can do so, on account of another woman spies Marty and immediately has a crush on him (naturally). I should have been keeping count of how many episodes include someone laying eyes on Marty and falling in love with him.

But wait. Wait. You NEED to know how the scene starts off. The woman walks straight up to Marty and goes, "Howdy, handsome!" followed immediately by this:

Verne: "Handsome? Get real."

Jules: "Get glasses!"

Had to stop it right there because I was laughing. Jules and Verne think Marty is ugly CONFIRMED.

Anyway, the woman ends up being Hepzibah Tannen, sister of Thaddeus Tannen (whose name was on the deed). And Hepzibah is head-over-heels for Marty. At one point, Marty ends up at her house, and Thaddeus is not thrilled to meet him. Before he can toss him out, Hepzibah picks Marty up, holds him close, and shouts at her brother, "Give me that! It's mine!"

Ridiculous.

Since his sister is so in love, Thaddeus agrees to let Marty join his gang. Thaddeus teaches Marty how to box and how to steal things from people (Marty immediately returns the items when Thaddeus isn't looking. +1 point for Cartoon Marty). Marty also continues his practical jokes by giving Thaddeus gum that turns your mouth black. Thaddeus isn't happy. This is necessary info to understand part of the next scene.

Back on the Parker ranch, where Jules and Verne have become farmhands, they come across these posters.

Several things to note here. 1. "DEAD OR UNALIVE" 2. Marty's gum gave Thaddeus a nickname. 3. Marty is only "sort of wanted" 4. Thaddeus evidently decked Marty for playing a prank on him.

Later on at the Tannen home, Thaddus suggests Marty and Hepzibah get married. This is followed by some very funny dialogue.

I'm definitely finding the humor to be better in the second season. I've laughed out loud several times since I started it.

The next day, Thaddeus and one of his other gang members go off to get Marty and Hepzibah a wedding present. Marty manages to sneak away from his "engagement picnic" to intercept Thaddeus, who is in the process of stealing the ranch from Mr. Parker. He has Mrs. Parker tied to the railroad tracks, and the only way he'll let her loose is if the deed to the ranch is signed over. This is his wedding present to his sister and Marty.

Which. Doesn't really make sense? I mean, it makes sense here, but then what motivated him to steal it originally, before Marty time traveled? Maybe Hepzibah had fallen for a different guy? Or Thaddeus simply wanted the ranch just because? Idk.

When Thaddeus goes to sign the deed, Marty lends him a pen (which is another prank, hehe. The pen has ink that eventually fades away.) Thaddeus then refuses to untie Mrs. Parker, so Marty refuses to go back home with him. Thaddeus leaves, Marty, Jules, and Verne save Mrs. Parker, and all is well. Marty assures the Parkers that their ranch is safe, and he hops on the time-train with the boys.

Marty returns to the present-day ranch, stops the bulldozer, and shows everyone the deed, which now has no signatures. Biff gets a citation for disturbing the peace, and Marty is back in Jennifer's good graces. The end!

Back at the beach, Real Doc digs up an antique fountain pen, accidentally squirts himself in the eye with the ink, and then leads us into the experiment portion of the show, where we're taught how to make invisible ink. We then return to Doc, who finds something else with his metal detector: the keys to the DeLorean that he'd lost the week prior. Yep. Doc had been searching the sand all that time for his car keys. Goofy guy.

Fun episode. I always enjoy when they're Marty, Jules, and Verne-centered, and this was a funny one as well. It was neat having an episode with so much Tom Wilson! (he voiced Biff and Thaddeus)

Wow, this post was a long one. I did go on a few side-tangents, haha. To those who read this whole thing: thanks for sticking with me. I'm so glad there are people who enjoy reading these silly episode commentary posts!

Join me next time to see Marty accidentally join the army in 1944.

#back to the future #bttf #bttf: the animated series

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mobumi · 11 months

Note

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, i started to write my answer and completely forgot about it. It's been in my drafts for months, i feel so bad omg! 😭 It was also really difficult to choose and i have only two female characters i am truly ashamed... But thank you very much for this ask, it was fun!

Here's my top 10! 😊

1. Mob/Kageyama Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100 - Anime)

I love him so much! I think he has the most wonderful character development in any anime i've watched! He has such a pure soul and compared to other shonen MCs, he just wants to be a normal teenager and be happy. So much growth and strength with this character, i love it! The series finale was incredible and I was so happy for my boy🥹

2. Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen - Anime)

I think he's an interesting character with so much potential for the future. I love the way he always appears reserved and cold but he's actually a softie on the inside and how his own sense of justice contrasts with Yuji. He's just a pretty cool character and stronger than he appears to be and he cares so much about his friends. Haven't read the manga but currently watching season 2 so I'm excited about what's in store for him!

3. Dream of the Endless (The Sandman - TV)

New favorite character alert!! Not a surprise 'cause my favorites are always the cold and broody ones tbh I just love how Dream is so imperfect and still learning and his whole vibe, the long black coat and the emo hair like he's in a indie rock band is just chef's kiss! Incredible character on the show, so charismatic and mesmerizing.

4. Five (The Umbrella Academy - TV)

At this point, there's a pattern here. Maybe it's because i'm an INTJ myself, but Five seems like he's very INTJ to me. It's just the whole attitude and the way he calculates and plans everything, very rational and precise, sarcastic and (though pretty mean sometimes), exactly how i like my characters! All his scenes are top tier and his power is very cool (not explored enough on the show unfortunately.)

5. Minho (The Maze Runner - Book series)

The sarcastic character? Asian as main? Hell yes! Finally more Asian representation and not stereotyped! The book series would have not been as good without him! I was pretty gutted when he was barely there in the Death Cure movie, but Ki Hong Lee was so great as Minho, he perfectly captured his smug and smartass attitude that I fell in love with. He's also very courageous and loyal to his friends which I love too. Overall a very cool character!

6. Deadpool/ Wade Wilson (Deadpool - Comics/Movies)

Deadpool is just Deadpool... Bro he's just vibing killing people or whatever. He's completely unhinged, crazy, over the top and just a fun ride. Pansexual king! What else can I say, he's just one of my favorite comic book characters ❤️

7. Miles Morales (Spiderman - Comics/Movies)

Another comic book character in my list. Miles is a cool addition to the Spiderverse and the movies they made are just INCREDIBLE! The animation, everything is top notch. Also Miles is very relatable and has an intesresting development. You get attached to him quickly and he's just so lovable, idk he's my son, i stan.

8. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf - TV)

Honestly asfghjkl!! I've always loved this character, more so when i was a teenager watching Teen Wolf. Looking back now, the show was not that good but at the time I was pretty obsessed. Stiles was everything i loved about a character: funny, sarcastic, entertaining, likable... He made the show a lot better and kept me watching! He's low on this list only because i'm not into Teen Wolf as much as i was back in the day.

9. Sana Bakkoush (Skam - TV)

She's so cool?? I wish i had been like that when i was a teenager, well for the most part lol. I really like her unbothered attitude and her snarky comments. She is fierce, not afraid to say what she thinks and is loyal to her friends and trustworthy. She's a teenager who has still a lot to learn but she's already wise for her age and just a good character overall. I really like female characters who are confident and charismatic! Her season wasn't perfect, but for me she was the best character in the whole series 😊

10. Sidney Adamu (The Bear - TV)

She's last on the list mostly because she's a new favorite, but she's very cool. I can relate to her, she's fresh and real, she knows her worth, she's courageous, hard-working and just very lovable as a character! Sydney captivated me from the beginning and her scenes were always my favorites. Haven't finished season 2 yet but I can't wait to see where her character goes! ✨

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pandoa · 2 years

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♡ Blossom Grove Prompt Event: The Conclusion ♡

i.... i finally... finished

guys oh my god I ACTUALLY FINISHED????? MY FIRST WRITING EVENT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO ONLY GO ON FOR TWO MONTHS- IT'S A MIRACLE

it's been a long time coming, in all honesty, and i am proud (and relieved lol) to say that Blossom Grove: a 100 Followers Special has finally ended. it would have ended sooner, but because life does what it does, requests were always held back throughout these 7-ish months </3

not many of you will get to read this, but i'd still like to thank every single one of you who requested, followed, liked, commented, reblogged, and simply enjoyed the things that i wrote for you all. i think this goes to all writers and artists alike when i say that your presence and little comments make our day so much brighter, so thank you so so much for just enjoying the thing we all make.

i swear when planning this event back in late july, i thought like 10 of you guys would request MAX. i was a really small blog with a dry inbox, so that seemed the most likely at the time. but after getting 30 instead of 10 i knew this would take longer than i thought lolol

throughout the event, i noticed a lot of the things many of you tended to like. some of those included the popularly-requested yellow pansies and anemones prompts, as well as octavinelle gaining the most rqs for this event lmao. which is kinda funny because i feel like octavinelle is the main dorm i struggle writing for the most but anyways 💀

what will i be doing now?

there is one more non-event request i'm working on, but then after that all rqs will be finished. afterward, i'll mainly be writing a lot of the drafts/ideas i had that i wanted to work on during the event but didn't have a chance to. because of this, regular requests will still be closed lol (sorry). they'll be open whenever i feel like i'm ready to take requests again; i'm giving myself a break <3 i'll also be reorganizing the blog because some of my rules are outdated and i want to put some things into order

guys we went from 100 followers to 500. 500. 500 people saw this blog and made it their choice to follow it for whatever reason, and i love each and every one of you regardless of whether you interact or not. and because i'm chronically checking all of my notifs, i know for sure that i've seen your name at least once in my life. you're somewhere there in my memories and i hold you precious to my heart. oh and before i close this, i'd also like to show my mutuals some appreciation too <33 all of you are lovely souls that are a big part of my motivation to keep writing and i'm extremely honored to be mutuals with such amazing people~

and finally, to everyone, thank you for being patient and staying here with me throughout this whole event. Blossom Grove will always be special to me and i can't wait to show you all what else i have in store ♡♡

—sincerely yours, pando

→ → ♡Twisted Wonderland Masterlist♡

#pando's announcements #twisted wonderland #twst #blossom grove prompt event #to say i'm happy is an understatement guys LOL #also remember to check out the masterlist if you missed your request!

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 2 years

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Is there a character you find difficult to write? How do you feel like your sense of each character has changed over the course of writing them?

This is such an interesting ask I love yooouuuuuu!

Ok SO, I used to find writing basically all of the knights kind of difficult, bar Gwaine, just because NONE of them have as much screen time as they deserve (I was about to say "especially Elyan and Percival" but then realised it would also be "especially Leon and Lancelot and Gwaine and Mordred"😅). BUT it's gotten easier to write them as time goes on.

I always make a concerted effort to make sure all characters present speak in equal amounts, OR I try to give Elyan/Gwen more attention, 1)because they’re some of my faves, I have to admit, and 2)because, as much as it isn't as bad as in other fandoms, I do see POC fans talk about the racism sometimes (mostly about either stereotypes, or characters like Elyan and Gwen basically just being forgotten), and I want to combat that where I can.

I guess I just struggle more with characters I haven't written as much about, like Morgause, and background characters/characters that were only there for one or two episodes, like Kara/Daegel/Will etc. But whenever I struggle I go back to either various BBC Merlin compilations on tiktok/YouTube, or I just skim through episode transcripts to get a feel for things😅

My writing has definitely changed a lot, mostly in skill level lol, and structure; they went from bare-basics drafts, to almost fully fleshed out fics. Plus I slowly started adding characters didn’t used to write with. I never used to have Mordred (or Morgana, really) in most of my old things. Or Morgause or Uther. But that's clearly changed😁.

I definitely got better at writing people’s physical mannerisms, especially Morgana, Arthur, and Merlin, when I began to understand more the way I personally wanted to present them. Morgana with her cunningness, Merlin with his observation skills and ability to lie and think on the spot, Arthur’s habit of getting flustered with emotions, but being confident in his other abilities, etc.

Speech, I do think I’m better at, you’ll have to let me know. It always felt a bit clunky and forced when I first started writing, but I think the more I wrote, the more I got a handle on the register/tone/vocabulary that each character would use. Before, Merlin, Morgana, Uther, everyone, would always speak in the same way. Now, it’s a little easier to tell from the dialogue alone, the structure they use/the actual words they choose etc, who is speaking. Obviously it’s not perfect, but I like to think in the almost 18 months I’ve been going that I’ve improved a little😅

The knights are a little more difficult, the sense and vibe I want to give each character depends on the fic. though there are some things that stay pretty consistent, as I’ve developed my writing and the way I want to portray them. For example, Leon is almost always Tired and Big-Brotherly, and Gwaine is always deceptively smart and observant. The others vary a lot more, though Mordred is always somewhere on the scale between Teasing-Younger-Brother, and Worshiping-Devotee, Percival is always a gentle giant, and Elyan is quiet but smart and skilled and funny. I think Lancelot probably varies the most, and that’s because his role, in Merlin’s life and in the fic as a whole, can be drastically different fic to fic. He can either be the Teasing Best Friend, the Worried Older Brother, the Partner, or just Part of The Gang. It is fun, writing them all and trying to force in my own ideas and headcanons about the characters whilst also making sure it fits the fic, and fits at least adjacently with canon.

I adore Gwen, and she’s almost always Merlin’s best friend in some manner in my fics. I like giving her and Merlin moments of just... bestie energy, with no one else there and nothing to disturb them. But I also like making her smart as hell and badass, and just... emotionally intelligent, more-so than basically everyone else in the show. I think in the beginning I wrote her as a bit... background-y. She was just there, crying when the fic was angsty, and smiling when the fic was happy. I want her to be important and, if not in the forefront of the whole fic, at least have a few lines/chapters which are just about her to give the fic some depth/emotional grabbyness, if that makes sense.

ANYWAY I love you and I loved these questions and let me know if you want to know anything else!!!

You can ask from This List of Questions, or ask your own!!

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crescentfool · 2 years

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hiii! tysm for leaving such sweet tags on part 2 the yukari/ryoji hcs list, i had so much fun reading through those :) im flattered you still remember part 1 considering it’s been six months & i had pt2 in my drafts for ages but i thought of you while writing it; it’s getting comments like yours that keeps me going <3 it took me a while to upload since ive wanted to add onto it—i can’t get enough of those two—but ig i can always do that in a part 3. or a fanfic…? point is, the popular girl dealing with her bestie’s weird-ass boyfriend driving her up a wall is always my jam, especially when she ends up lowkey being in on his BS with him (much to the shock of the whole school) while the MC’s like “maybe i liked you two better when you hated each other” loool

HII HII mimi thank you so much for stopping by to the ask box!!! it's always a lot of fun for me to leave tags when i come across posts that i enjoy- especially ones related to writing! hcs and aus are always such a joy for me to read, especially if it involves ryoji 😳

honestly, the yukari and ryoji friendship hcs have very much been living rent free in my mind since i saw that first post about them playing minecraft together! they'd float across my brain at least once or twice a month and i'd go "YEAHH THIS IS WHAT THEY DESERVE!"

so in that respect, im flattered to hear that you thought of me while writing the second part- and if you ever consider writing more for them (fic or hc list form, or any medium really, shitposts are also included in that LOL), im always down to see it! 👀

but YESS that friendship dynamic... literally chef's kiss tbh. i love unlikely combos of friends and i think yukari and ryoji represent that rather well! its nice thinking that over time, yukari can warm up to ryoji's silly antics (i am sure he has an infinite amount of them, lmao). plus, i feel that yukari can show ryoji a lot of cool things as well, whether if it's her perspective from being popular, or just some hobbies that she's into!

and i think it's especially funny that you added the MC to the mix too in that last remark... must be weird for minato or hamuko to observe yukari laughing with ryoji over something stupid rather than yukari being like >:c or something at him 😂 (i'm terrible at words help!). in any case i am sure that all three of them are getting along great!

ANYWAYS i uh. did not mean to take this long to respond to this ask nor did i mean to make it very long but i guess that's what happens when i want to express my gratitude back and acknowledge asks properly, haha. but seriously, thank you again mimi, not just for the inbox visit, but the hcs! it's always a pleasant surprise to see whatever people are up to in the p3 fandom and i appreciate the yukari and ryoji hcs very much~ (and have a very lovely day!!)

and for all you other people who are wondering, what the heck are these hcs you are talking about? here go read them here from mimi's blog: part i | part ii

#lizzy askbox #I THINK THIS SAT IN MY INBOX FOR 11 DAYS AT MAX... oops...? i was very much thinking about it while i was doing stuff for uni though LOL #ok but legit though. i REALLY enjoy friendship dynamics whether if they're canonical or hcs. it brings me infinite joy to see the different #-kinds of friendships and relationships that can emerge from two or more people bc they are all so unique #i am not really good at coming up with stuff in that respect BUT!! i thoroughly enjoy seeing other people's interpretations for sure #and i think this is especially the case for ryoji-related friendships because he had such a limited time in-game and whatnot #i mean ok i still need to check out the manga + musical + p3p BUT iirc its mostly just. mc and aigis and a bit of junpei???#OH AND I WANTED TO SAY THIS IN THE POST but i didnt kno where to put it but i feel like the hcs helped me appreciate yukari-#more too. she's great (and my playthrough of p3fes has also helped out with that).#anw mimi i have many respects and appreciation for the hcs and im wishing the best to u!!!#if u ever took the time to write a fic for these two good luck !! writing is an enigma to me so i always go :o when i see ppl do it SGBHKDF

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beskar-cowboy · 4 years

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Beneath the Ice

Part 2 of The Best Things Dwell Out of Sight Series

Summary: Crash landed on a frozen planet, you have to wait till morning to be able to fly out again. In the mean time, you play in the snow with the Child while Mando repairs the Crest. (4k words) ao3 link here

Warnings: none actually? inspired by but no major spoilers for s2e2 (chapter 10) events besides the fact that it’s on a frozen planet lol. just tons of mutual pining with Mando, yearning, fluff and softness <3 only one part left after this and it’s actually the last one! (like part 5 lmao)

“Hey - no, wait for me!” You call after the Child who’s already waddling as fast as he can down the lowered hatch, throwing himself into the snow.

His little giggles echo through the silent snowy air of the desolate valley that you’ve more or less just crash landed into. The air now peaceful and calm again after such a rough landing.

You hadn’t finished getting your boots on all the way and had already told the kid to wait right here, next to you and you could go outside and play together. Obviously someone was too excited by the prospect of freshly fallen snow to care too much about rules.

“He’s fine.” Mando reassures, standing next to you in the hull. There’s a certain lightness to his voice from underneath the helmet, maybe he was amused at the kid’s… childish antcis.

You roll your eyes and stand up next to him once your boots are laced up. The freezing air from outside has already drafted into the ship and you feel it down to your bones. Living on a desert planet your whole life prior to meeting Mando meant you didn’t own one single article of clothing that would be appropriate for this sort of weather.

Along this whole strange trip with Mando, you had come into possession of a few warmer pieces like some utility pants and a few shirts but still, you didn’t own thick socks, a proper coat, a scarf or anything that would help you right now. The Child seemed fine in his little onesie but you, on the other hand, were already fucking freezing.

Luckily Mando noticed that you were freezing, the way you used your hands to warm up your arms. Running them up and down the length of his long black sleeve shirt which you were wearing.

You wore it quite often, Mando hopes it's a favourite of yours or something. Even after having bought you your own clothes on Batuu over a month ago now, you still seemed to favour his old, worn black shirt. It made his stomach feel funny when he thought about that.

But he often felt funny when he thought about you for too long.

“Wait here.” Mando instructs, letting his hand rest on your shoulder briefly before walking away, deeper into the hull, to indicate that he was in fact talking to you. You could never tell, especially not with that helmet of his.

Mando returns promptly holding a long, thick material in both of his hands. One of his cowls.

“Oh, thank you.” You stammer, taking the long and surprisingly heavy fabric from him. You struggle to hold it up, trying to figure out which was the best way to wrap it around your neck or shoulders, or throw it over like a shawl-

“Let me.” He offers with slight hesitation in his voice, taking a tentative step closer to you. Your breath shakes, unable to find it within yourself to even look in his direction.

You almost squeak when he takes the cowl into his own hands, trying to find the head hole himself. You would laugh at the difficulty he’s having as well but you can barely bring yourself to remember how to breathe due to how close he’s standing to you.

Eventually he does find the head opening and loosens the hole wider for you, gently lifting it over your head. Your grasp onto the fabric, helping him guide it over and around your head. The smooth flesh of your hand glides along worn leather, his touch burning, singing marks into your skin that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to get rid of.

The material is down to your shoulders now but your head is still lost in the thick fabric, trying to find the hood so you can stick your head out and breathe some fresh air. You inhale the fabric accidentally and, oh.

It smells like him.

Of course it smells like him, it’s his fucking cowl but fuck.

It smells like Mando. And suddenly he’s everywhere, invading your senses, fogging up your brain like he just drugged you with spice and you’re a lightweight so you fall fast and you fall hard.

Fuck why did he smell so good? He’s a bounty hunter, he shouldn’t smell so good but he does. It smells like skin, sweat and grime and blaster oil and gunpowder, the lethal combination makes you lightheaded.

You’ve never gotten this much of him all at once before. Wrapped up in something of his while his hands are on you. Fuck, you almsot forgot he was helping you put this thing on so you could go outside and play with the Child while he repaired the thrusters or whatever he had muttered about back in the cockpit when you landed.

You feel his hands touch and pull at you through the material while yours do the same, your fingers and palms bumping, grazing and touching each other every so often. Your hair gets pulled over your eyes as the cowl is swivelled and turned, all trying to get you right side up like you're drowning in water.

Mando huffs, frustrated that he can’t seem to figure out his own damn cowl. He puts this thing on everyday, how could it be this hard to put it on another person. Because it doesn’t fit you, it’s too big for you, too long, too heavy- fuck.

Realizing you had been turning in useless circles while he pulled the fabric the other way, Mando grabs both of your shoulders in his hands, steadying you. You nearly yelp at the sudden grounding touch, not knowing which way you were facing anymore from being lost in the cowl for so long. You stop your useless efforts, letting Mando take over.

You feel another tug, more gentle this time and the cowl turns and turns, pushing more hair into your eyes and suddenly, fresh air. Cool crisp air hits your face as your head awkwardly pokes out of the hoodie hole Mando has finally managed to find.

You can’t help the burst of giggles that falls from your lips. How did you both manage to make such a simple task so difficult? He could have left you to it, he could have handed it to you and then headed over to the thrusters like he knew he needed to do, like he said he would.

Your eyes squint, your cheeks scrunch up and your hair falls chaotically yet somehow fucking perfectly, framing your face as it falls out of the wide, loose hood of his cowl, caresses it in a way he wishes he could. Your plush lips stretch into a face-splitting, shit-eating grin like this is so fucking amusing to you and if Mando was anyone else in this moment, he thinks he would be laughing along with you. Fuck, he thinks he would even be kissing you right now if it weren’t for the helmet and… and. The Way. Yeah, The Way.

So you just stand there, for too many moments, too many seconds pass by where both of you just stare and smile at each other, admiring each other’s faces- well, Mando admiring your face and you trying to find his eyes behind the pitch black of his visor. Your eyes flit back and forth, searching, you land on them a couple of times and Mando has to actually stop himself from gasping from the intrusion. Your eyes pierce him, they sting and they burn and bite but they're so lovely, kind, and soft with the way you bat your lashes up at him. Like you know he’s looking and blushing like a fucking child underneath all this beskar.

“Ooooo!” The Child coos from outside in the snow, snapping both you and Mando out of whatever trance you had seemed to put each other under.

The Child rolls some snow in his hands, maybe liking the way it feels as it melts against his warm, green skin. Whatever he was trying to say, it was a painful reminder that you couldn’t just stand here and stare at Mando all day, not if you wanted to get off of this planet before you all freeze to death.

Flustered and a little embarrassed for getting caught staring at Mando, you nod at him as a way of saying ‘thanks for the giant scarf’ and turn to head outside.

But you end up stepping on said giant scarf and your foot twists in the fabric, sending your body jolting awkwardly but a hand tight on your hip keeps you upright with too much ease. Another hand grasps onto your bicep, wrapping tightly around your limb, keeping you steady.

You see the way your breath comes out in ragged breaths thanks to the freezing air, chest heaving and cheeks blushing not just from the snow. He was touching you again. Maker, you were almost starting to believe he liked it as much as you did.

You think… you think he chuckles. So low and understated but you think you catch it from underneath his helmet which tilts to the side a bit, as if trying to get a better look at you. Or taunt you, make fun of you. You don’t have a clue, you were so bad at reading his body language, even after a month of living with him.

Completely flustered, you say nothing, just stare up at the big, intimidating T-shape on his visor and hope he isn’t laughing at you but maybe with you.

“T-Thanks.” You stutter, feeling his thumb graze over your bicep, running the covered digit over your arm, feeling you in the slightest way possible.

Mando nods at you, “Go play with the kid.”

Eventually being able to pull yourself away from him and secure the hood of the cowl over your head properly, you let your boots carry you through the soft and sparkly snow, towards the Child whose cheeks are flushed an adorable shade of pink.

He runs to you, an oddly shaped snowball in hand. He reaches up for you to take it from him and you thank him for such a lovely gift. He seems pleased with himself as he makes more little balls, they become rounder and rounder the more he makes and you watch endearingly before you start to make some too, adding them to his little collection.

He gets very protective of the snowballs, whining if you move them too much or if he thinks you’re going to steal one. You really have to try your hardest not to laugh because you’re not laughing at him, he’s just so weird and cute and apparently 50 years old but still clearly a baby and wow. You think you love him like you would a son and your heart thumps heavy in your chest as you spend the afternoon playing with him.

Mando watches you from where he's stationed on top of the Crest, fixing the integrity of the left thruster so that it doesn’t disintegrate when he tries to lift you all off this planet come morning time.

Maybe he even repositions himself to get a better angle of you and the kid, he tells himself he’s just keeping a watchful eye, but that excuse gets harder and harder to believe when his heart starts fucking hammering in his chest everytime he gets a glimpse of your face. The way you smile at the kid, the way your hair falls and frames your face, poking out of his cowl, begging to be pushed back behind your ear, for his hand to cup your cheek.

He likes the way you cling to it whenever there's a particularly cold gust of wind that flows through the open field, how you cover your face with it while still watching the Child, making sure he’s okay and holding him when he gets a bit cold or hurts his hand on a piece of hidden ice. Mando thinks he sees you bring the cowl up around your face one too many times, maybe you were smelling it, smelling him-

Mando burned himself a few times with his tools, by accident, from staring at you just a bit too long, losing his grip on whatever it was he was wielding together and accidentally burning his hand instead.

There was something about seeing you in his clothes that… that made him feel weird. It was this sort of fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach, like that feeling you get when you think you’re going to throw up but really, you’re just nervous or anxious or something. The way his heart beats heavy, different with each new pump of blood through his system, the blood travelling to less the optimal regions at the wrong moments, making him dizzy and fucking hard in his pants.

Maker, what was wrong with him? Why did seeing you in his cowl or black shirt make him feel so fucking possessive over you?

Right now, he tries to focus on how much fun you genuinely seem to be having with the kid, how easily you laugh along with him and take part in his games. Mando wonders if you had a good childhood back on your home planet, if you did normal kid things or if you missed out on most of them like he did.

Eventually it gets too dark and too cold for you to stay outside any longer, thankfully the kid doesn’t seem too upset about heading back inside to warm up. Maybe it's due to the promise of warm food and a warm belly.

You set yourselves back up in the cockpit where Mando had installed some sort of heat radiator, it had been going all day, heating the cockpit nicely but you kept the cowl on for… reasons.

You manage to find some dried meat and bone broth in some of Mando’s cabinets, where he usually keeps his rations and snacks. You heat them up over the radiator as best as you can, you think you remember Mando getting some spices at a market on some long forgotten planet but you can’t find them anywhere. You make do with the amount of salt you managed to find instead; anything helps really.

You hand the child his tiny little container of food once it’s warm enough but not too hot for his little palette before you climb down the ladder, placing Mando’s own plate and bowl of broth and meat before climbing back up and reaching for the hatch to call to him as he continues to work on the roof.

The hatch is heavy to pry open, you muster all the strength you can to turn the locking wheel and push it open and poke your head out the top, bombarded by whistling wind and the cool, biting kiss of the snowy air once again.

“Mando!” You yell over the strong gusts, shivering as you call his name. The helmet turns to look at you and you notice the ice forming along the hard and sharp edges of his beskar. Maker, he must be freezing under there.

A light that he’s set up to work in the dark illuminates half of him, the other side cast into a dark shadow you can barely see, the unrelenting harsh fall of snow was no help.

Without hearing what you have to say first, he packs up his equipment and walks towards you, towards the open hatch.

“I-I put your food in your cot. Let me know if it’s not warm enough.” You try and smile at him but your face already feels frozen from the cold, cheeks and lips locked in place. He seems to nod so you just head back down the ladder and he waits for you to reenter the cockpit before heading in and closing the hatch for the night.

As you sit back down in the cockpit with the kid who’s already finished his food and begun to eat yours, you hear Mando clamber around in the main hull, probably taking off and drying his armour, taking the helmet off to eat. You hope the soup helps to warm him up.

You scold the kid lightly for eating your food but let him sit in your lap while you eat, giving him spoonfuls every now and then. You can’t say no to those big black eyes, probably an evolutionary design you think, laughing to yourself.

“You’re a little menace, you know that?” You tell him, fake scowling at him but kissing his forehead a million times over so he knows you’re only teasing. He coos and babbles in response, grabbing at your hair so you take that as a sign that he knows you mean no harm.

You wrap him up in Mando’s cowl that you still wear, letting him get cozy in your lap. With a full belly, body wrapped snugly in his little onesie and now the cowl, his big eyes become droopy, ready for bed. You wonder if Mando will come back up to sleep in the cockpit or if he’ll take the child into his cot, leaving you in here for the night.

As if on cue, the sliding doors screech at the force of being opened manually, Mando closes them behind him and turns to- to take in the sight before him.

The Child wrapped up in your-his cowl, which you still wear, still cling to like you did earlier today, like the kid does now as he seems to doze off in your lap. Your eyes are as big as ever, as sweet as ever as you look up at him by the door. Mando thinks he sees you smile at him from your spot on the floor but he quickly tries to ignore the erupting mass of butterflies in his stomach and just sit down next to you. Maybe a bit too close, he feels his shoulder graze yours ever so slightly and he has to stop himself from flinching away from you. Just a reflex, force of habit.

It only startles you a little how closely he decides to sit next to you, your thighs almost, almost grazing. You tell yourself it’s just to get the best angle on the radiator and maybe to share some body heat in whatever… no perverse way you two can manage.

“How was the soup?” You ask, your voice coming out much quieter than you intended. Maybe you were beginning to fall asleep yourself. The Child making himself so cozy on you and breathing softly was lulling you to sleep peacefully, like a purring Lothcat.

“What?” Mando had been so focused on not freaking out about sitting so close to you that he hadn’t heard a word you said.

“The soup? Was it okay? I couldn’t find any spices so I just made do with sal-”

“No. I-It was fine- it was good. Thank you.” He nods at you. You smile softly at Mando and then look back down at the kid, running your fingers over his little wrinkly forehead and then letting them travel through the thin white hairs.

He stirs at the sound of Mando’s voice, no doubt recognizing that his dad was finally back inside, available and ready to give him attention now. You smile fondly at him, watching as he manages to crawl out of your lap and towards Mando, climbing up his much harder, beskar covered thighs and snuggles himself into the space available. He manages to expertly find a gap in the beskar, a spot where the hard metal parts and he can sleep and nuzzle against Mando’s softer stomach.

Your heart.

Your heart fucking explodes as you watch Mando let him get cozy on him. You feel insane amounts of… of two different feelings. Two feelings you’re insanely embarrassed and ashamed of.

Jealousy and…. And lo-

You stand up after a moment of watching them and plan to head for the door, to head into your own cot which Mando had set up for you months ago now, just across a little hallway from the cockpit.

But Mando stops you. His hand wraps itself quickly around your wrist, halting your movements.

“Where are you going?”

“My cot?” You assumed he would want to be left alone with the Child to sleep. You knew he probably still didn't trust you that much, which you were fine with. You respected his boundaries, you knew he followed a Creed or something along those lines, either way, you didn't ask too many questions. You didn’t want to pry, so you often just assumed he would want to be left alone in most cases. Oftentimes, you were right.

“You’ll freeze.” He states plainly. Oh. “The heating system is down, damaged when we landed. W-We should all just sleep in here tonight, the radiator should keep us warm enough.”

Oh. You ignore how his voice wavers, you blame it on the cold he probably still feels in his bones. You feel it too, even now, despite the radiator. At least, you think it’s the cold.

“O-Okay.”

So you settle back down next to him, sitting closer to him than you had been previously. Maybe it was intentional. Maybe it wasn’t. You’re too tired to really think about it too much, to pinpoint if that was subconscious or not.

You snuggle into the cowl that’s still around your shoulders, pulling the hood back up over your head to get all the warmth you can. With the cowl, the radiator, and Mando’s wide body next to you, you think you’ll be okay tonight.

Mando thinks you look so fucking cute wrapped up the way you are. How you try to hide behind his cowl that he’s worn so many times, behind the material that’s done nothing but serve him in whatever terrain he’s been in. He’s never properly looked at it until you’ve worn it, until it adorned your body, resting with a hefty weight on your shoulders, wrapping around your hair. So fucking cute.

“Is the thruster okay?” You ask, deciding to break the silence, maybe just to hear his voice a little longer, wanting that deep, gravelly barione to lull you to sleep like a sweet and low song.

“It started to freeze over when the sun went d-down but…..” Mando’s voice stutters when you slouch against him, letting your head slump against his shoulder. He watches you slowly drift to sleep, eyelashes kissing your cheeks in a way… in a way he could only dream of.

“Oh… that’s good.” You say, yawning and nuzzling your head onto the hard beskar, trying to get comfortable and acting as if you’re completely unaware of what you were doing to him, like you didn’t notice how he didn’t even finish his sentence.

“We should be able to leave in the morning.” He rasps, trying to clear his throat but it comes out so thick.

“Hmmmm.” You hum, nearly completely asleep by now, drifting off with help from the radiator and his rhythmically rising and falling chest.

The weight of your head on his shoulder is extremely comforting, even that feels like an understatement.

This feels… too normal. Too good. It scares him how much he thinks he could get used to this, how much he wants to get used to this.

He looks down to the sleeping child in his lap, cuddled against his stomach, and then to you, peaceful at his side. How did this become his life? How did he get wrapped up in all of this?

Was it a mistake?

Travelling with a 50 year old child and… if he was being honest, the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on, and he’s seen more than most people have at his age.

He could so easily fuck this up, so easily endanger you, or the Child, too innocent things he’s managed to lasso into this whole fucking ordeal.

Mando pulls his cowl over the Child so that he can receive more warmth, feeling his own heart pulse when the kid snuggles into him further, letting himself get comfortable. He then tries to smoothly let his arm wrap around your back, giving you something to lean on instead of the unforgiving wall of the Crest’s cockpit.

He doesn’t want to startle you, doesn’t want to push boundaries. He just wants to keep you warm.

#i'm not used to just writing fluff okay dont be mean #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #reader insert #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #fluff #imagine #my writing #the best things dwell out of sight #series #beneath the ice

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tar-oh · 4 years

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Pick a Pile: Who has a crush on you?

So, confession time. I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for about a month or so. The reason for not posting it until now is that a lot of the piles felt very similar to other piles? But, now that I think about it, it could just be that some people are called to more than one pile and they’re continuations or something along that line? Either way, they all blend a little, which was so weird to me. So, I am finally posting it. I thought it would be a cute fun little read, but it just became a little confusing towards the last few piles. Also, I’m not sure how comfortable I feel tapping into that kind of energy. I think it’s one thing to ask what’s coming towards you in love vs. who has a crush on you because then there’s like that whole consent thing. But, I already did the piles, and my reservations about it didn’t really pop up until the last two piles. It felt wrong to have spent so much time on 6 piles and not post it? Plus, with Valentines day coming up and my own love life being as dry as possible, I thought it would be fun to get nosy about your love lives! So I do plan on doing some more love-themed readings within the next week or so (HOPEFULLY! My second semester of school started this week, but I’m working on balancing school and my life outside of it!). SO. Choose a pile 1-6 below. Each is represented by some good looking gentleman (or lady) from some period piece. There’s no connection to the characters to the piles outside of just being shows/movies I enjoy. If you’d like a private reading, DM me! Tips are also appreciated (but obviously not necessary). cashapp $sararms paypal: paypal.me/sararms Another thing to note is that I really ask you to only take what resonates. There’s no way I can get every story possible within 6 readings, so there may only be bits here and there for you, for others there may not be anything that resonates. So, please be discerning. As I said, if you’d like a private reading, please DM me. Also, I gotta apologize, since I had started this nearly a month ago, there’s an obvious difference in the pictures of the cards because I’ve since gotten a new phone that takes way better pictures. But the layout, on the other hand, has no excuse... ANYWAY HERE ARE THE PILES:

1) Jem Merlyn (Jamaica Inn) 2) Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) 3) Emma Woodhouse (Emma 2020) 4) Jo March (Little Women 2019) 5) Ross Poldark (Poldark) 6) Simon Basset (Bridgerton)

Pile 1: (Jem Merlyn)

cards: Peacock, 8 of swords, 3 of cups rx, 4 of wands, juno, hygeia, psyche First, I have to say that I have a feeling that this person feels you left them. I'm not sure what the context of that is, but from the song lyrics in Downfall by Matchbox Twenty ("If I could go back, would you have ever been with me?"), and then as I started thinking about that, the song Promises by Aly and Aj came on and there's a line in this song about how there is nothing left there anymore. "Guess I'll go back, guess I'll go home now. Gotta turn around, there's nothing here for me now", which, MOOD to be honest lol. So, it's like, maybe you left something behind, whether it be a home (like a city or a residence?), maybe a job? Something about you left and this person just feels that it's...Not over, but like, that there's something that's changed that will either make things harder or impossible? Also, on the bottom of my lyric deck there was the song Riptide by Vance Joy, at the part where he sings "I just wanna, I just wanna know if you're gonna, if you're gonna stay." So, maybe you're thinking about leaving something? A job? A relationship? I don't know, but that's what I'm getting. There’s something about leaving here, either way. Another thing I'm getting is that I feel that this is a little more than a crush. Or at least, I think they just feel a lot for you. Like, maybe you've taken up their brain space or something, especially since the song Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing But You) came on. It's basically about getting someone stuck in your head, so like no matter what you do, they show up in your thoughts. So, I definitely think you've done a number on them. Oh! "I may not say it outwardly, so all I have are memories. Those looks from at the start." I feel like this is definitely someone who is really into you but they haven't told you so - but I think you may get this feeling (like maybe you catch them staring from across the room or something, and with peacock, I feel like they don't even act embarrassed if you catch them). I'm getting a bit of regret with this, especially with 3 of cups reversed and 8 of swords. 8 of swords is almost always about someone who is stuck in their head about something. They're overthinking things and cannot see a way forward, so maybe this person feels like it's almost futile having a crush or feelings for you? I do wonder if for some, the 3 of cups reversed suggests that maybe they think you two are too different? But, then there's the 4 of wands, and these people on this card look really in love and its about balance and harmony...so, maybe they see you as someone they wouldn't mind ending up with, despite differences? But this is about WHO has a crush on you, so I want to describe them a bit for you. So, I pulled the peacock card for you. It's funny because the deck kept spitting out too many cards and when I finally said "only one please" it spit this one out. This is funny to me, because one of the ones I actually noticed that had fallen out before was one with a peacock. I personally have been kind of...haunted by them as of late, so I'm going to notice when they're present. I made note of it, shuffled and then pulled the actual peacock card. When I think of peacocks, I think of the way they strut around. Obviously, when we think of them, we think of how the male peacocks have those beautiful colors on their feathers. So, I think this is someone who stands out. I do also think they may have a certain walk to them, but I don't think they're exaggerating. I think they just...Are that way? Like, they don't have to try hard to get people to notice them, they're just naturally in the spotlight. For some, it could be someone that is kind of show-offy. But, I really don’t get that feeling. Moving on to the tarot, the 8 of swords tells me this person is in their head a lot. I already established you're one of those things in their head, but I also think there's a lot of other things they may overthink. They definitely could be someone who's just an anxious being - I almost feel that Hygeia supports that idea since it can be about your body and your health. The deck's booklet suggests that depending on the placement one has, it can lead to being a hypochondriac, so maybe they're just a giant worry-wart? With the 3 of cups reversed, I get a few things. There's one where it could be either 1 of 2 ways: the first being that maybe they're someone that parties a lot? Like, an excessive amount - and I'm only saying that because it's reversed. The other thought is that this person's kind of a kill-joy, like maybe they don't really have fun at all. Maybe they work too much or something? But I don't think that's it, because to me 4 of wands suggests that overall they're pretty balanced, so I'm thinking that this could be another possibility. One might be they just like to stay at home, like they're a lone wolf? Another one, I'm just letting this idea flow to me, is that maybe they're just super argumentative, and maybe that's what it's in reverse. Maybe you two argue a lot or they just like to start debates or something along those lines? I usually wouldn’t get that for 3 of cups, but that just came to my mind so I’m sure it’s for someone. Since I'm reading for a lot of people, I feel like there are just a lot of possibilities for these. And with the astrology cards, I only was able to pull asteroids, no signs or houses or planets. So, this makes me think a lot of people are choosing this pile, so pointing out possible astrological placements may not help you guys. But, if you want to know, I see air, water and fire with the tarot alone, and the bottom of the astrological deck was pisces, so that might be for someone. I do feel like this person has more of a balanced set of placements, so for example their sun moon and rising may not be in the same element, and maybe things balance them out. But with the overthinking element, I do wonder if there's a lot of air in their chart. I did mention that Hygeia was about the body and it can also be about hygiene, so I get that this person is just super clean? And, by that I mean, it's super noticeable. Maybe you notice that they smell like a specific soap or if they're someone that might grow facial hair, they keep it well-trimmed, or shaven completely. Their hair is probably kept nicely (like all pieces are in place), their clothes probably neat and never rumpled. Like, that kind of a person? Hygeia also focuses on how we treat our bodies, so...This almost makes me think back to how I mentioned excessive partying with the 3 of cups being reversed? I think they try to take care of themselves, but there might be a bad habit they have, like smoking or drinking more than they know they should. I don't get any huge red-flags about it, so take what resonates. Juno can talk about partnerships and what one's ideal partner is like, so I think this just says that one of you views the other as the ideal partner. I say one of you, because I was going to say they view you this way, but it's about WHO has a crush on you, so I do wonder if this is a two-way street here? Like, I think you may have a crush on them too, in which case, you're probably going to notice what they smell like lol. This could also suggest that they have boundaries that are clear to you and everyone else. So, maybe they're in the spotlight, but they only let people in so close? Like, they’re pretty selective about it? I think this person also comes off as being super empathetic and sensitive to people and their energies. The Psyche card can talk about this, so I think maybe they're someone who can just tell in an instant if you're just not feeling right? This could be why they hold boundaries - maybe sometimes they just get overwhelmed from how other peoples emotions make them feel? One of the lyrics I pulled for this pile was from Tiger's Jaw's song, Divide. The line goes: "You are drowning, it's in your eyes." - That line makes me think about someone who's extra sensitive to other people, and maybe also someone who has a lot of thoughts and emotions themselves. The bottom deck energy being Pisces makes me think of that too, especially because Pisces is a water sign (so, emotions), and the sign is 2 fish, so again, water - drowning. It's possible this person has a lot of emotions but no way to express them (8 of swords) so in return it feels a bit like their head is a prison? I'm not really getting much else about this person. I almost feel like this is just a sign that I should take to tell you that I think this is all you need to know? Like, I think, like I said earlier, you kind of had a feeling this person had a crush on you anyway. So, maybe this is more just a confirmation for you? Either way, I think this should be enough for you to know who I'm talking about. Oh! One thing, though, is that I think both of you, even though you both get the feeling that the other likes you, don't think it's possible? I just got that at the beginning because Movement's cover of Loosing my Religion came on first, and that song is basically about unrequited love. So, I think the 3 of cups reversed could also just be about miscommunication, or at least, misinterpreting actions and words on both sides? I don't know, something to think about. Music: losing my religion - cover by Movements promises - aly & aj downfall - matchbox twenty divide - tigers jaw riptide - vance joy eat, sleep, wake (nothing but you) - bombay bicycle club Pile 2: (Anne Shirley)

cards: queen of wands, ace of cups, queen of swords, elixir, anne carson (intellect), venus, 1st quarter moon, solar eclipse So, you got Queen of Wands AND Queen of Swords, AND Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom of the deck. So, there is a possibility that this is more than one person. For the sake of not confusing myself, I'm going to read this like one person, so, there's a possibility that you could possibly pick out multiple people being described. Or, if you felt called to another pile, maybe check it out to see if that can give you any more clarity. Remember! Take what resonates! Whoever this is THEY ARE SMART. And I don't just mean book-smart, I just mean INTELLIGENT. I got both the Anne Carson card AND Brainy by The National. The Anne Carson card's keyword is The intellect, and it talks about growing intellectually, but also the "delights of the mind", so I think this person also likes to pick other people's brains as a way to learn more about others and the world they're living in. I also think they're a student, and I mean, they could be any age, really. Like, maybe they're in graduate school or just still in High School. It could also just be that they’re not in school, but are just constantly seeking knowledge? So, maybe they read a lot of non-fiction? All I know is that this person being smart is probably something you've thought about, even if it's only a passing thought. Oh. But they're also maybe a little full of it, lol. (Full of It by DBMK came on, so!!!) Another thing is that the bottom deck energy for the astrology cards was Pallas Athena and that can talk about intelligence, so phew. Very smart. The venus card, to me, suggests that this is a really good looking person. Like, I don't want to say classically good-looking, but I think a lot of people notice this person. Also, Venus rules Taurus and Libra, and since you got Queen of Swords and Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom, I could definitely see this person having earth and air in their placements. But, kind of similar to what I saw in the first pile, I got a feeling of balance of placements (within the tarot I pulled, fire, water and air are present, plus bottom deck which was earth). So, like I also told the first pile, I think I'm reading for a lot of different situations, also if this is more than one person, the placements are going to be everywhere. I just want to say that you shouldn't get stuck on that, just take this as more of a confirmation if you already know their placements or something. First Quarter moon talks about transformation, so, maybe this is a very transformative person. Meaning, maybe they change their style a lot, or maybe they just seem to be changing a lot themselves? Solar Eclipse suggests something is being illuminated. So maybe they're someone that is really blunt? I think queen of swords definitely lends to this, because anyone in that energy can be seen as a very blunt person. I think they might be someone that says something that gets others thinking. Or, they have a way about explaining things that allows someone to see another side to things? The song Be Sensible by Jimmy Eat World came on, so I think this person is pretty logical and sensible, which is another Air-quality, so blunt, but logical. Like, they may not sugar-coat what they say, but they're also logical and see both sides of situations, in return, allowing you to see both sides to. To be honest, I feel like they're pretty sarcastic for some of you. And, I mean. The dryest of humor. The kind where you have to look up when they say something to see if they’re being serious or not, and sometimes it goes over some peoples heads. But, something tells me you’re able to translate it well. To be honest, I don’t think this person would have a crush on you if you couldn’t differentiate between their sarcasm and when they’re serious. So I said they were probably really blunt and logical, also possibly sarcastic. That's what I got from the Queen of Swords. From Queen of Wands, I also get that their really passionate. Like, I think this could be about anything? Maybe just life! But, I think there's a certain amount of creativity this person holds, and I think them being super smart gives them an interesting perspective on whatever they create? Maybe they write poetry or lyrics. Maybe they paint? For some reason, I always get a painter from queen of wands. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagine someone with a huge paint brush lol Like, really, in my mind I'm seeing someone with a giant paint brush, so maybe this person really does paint. The ace of cups is interesting to me. I think this might just say that their in the beginning of something that's emotionally fulfilling? Like, maybe a new course or a new job? For some of them, they just found the path they want to take. I know that sounds random, but the song (jogging) by Jetty Bones came on and a lyric really stood out to me, "All along, I thought I knew, but I had no, no idea where I was going at all, so I was going and going and going and gone." So, maybe they felt like they were in this endless loop of life until recently something dawned on them and they took a new path, which ended up being something really fulfilling emotionally? This could also just be someone who is really open about their emotions. I'd say they sound really emotionally balanced. And, this ace of cups is a hand pouring liquid from one container to another, so maybe they also are someone with a lot of love to give? I was trying to figure out what Elixir meant in this context, but I forgot that the bottom deck energy for this pile in that deck was Ghost, which can mean unfinished business. So, possibly this is someone from your past? Or someone who just thinks your time together isn't over. So if for some reason this is someone and you know who it is and you haven't seen them in a while, they don't think it's over. They think you'll run into each other again, and maybe elixir is like you two getting drinks (could also be getting coffee lol) - the song Take Me by Aly and Aj came on, so!!! Maybe they want to take you on a date to get drinks!? (Ace of cups!?). For the lyrics, they definitely are wondering how you feel about them since I pulled Downfall by Matchbox Twenty (First pile got the same song, different lyrics), "I wonder what you think of me." So, they definitely aren't sure how you feel. However, I think they can have a big ego (I think I mentioned this earlier), because I also pulled the line "You might need me more than you think you do." from Brainy by The National, so I think they're someone who can sometimes feel a bit entitled to other people? If that's the case, I'd make sure you set good boundaries. I don't get a bad vibe but I get a cocky vibe and sometimes cocky people can be total assholes. Strong boundaries are good for this person, but if this is someone who you actually want to accept the cup from, than I wouldn't build the boundaries too high, ya know? Like, still be open, but also be careful. I just don't want someone to feel entitled to you guys, okay? That being said, I think they loose sleep over you lol, because bottom deck energy for the lyric cards is a song by Now, Now called Prehistoric (so, also, thinking about someone from your past? But also, maybe they're into history?), " I will trade this sleep for you in a heart beat." Maybe they dream a lot about you? Either way, I think they loose sleep over you, so I mean, if they are really cocky, that's kind of something to be proud of lol You managed to take up more space in their mind than they themselves took up (Yeah, I'm seriously getting a cocky, full of themselves energy from this person). Oh! I just noticed that there's like a shape coming out of the cup on the Elixir card, and it looks a bit like a ghost, so definitely unfinished business with someone. I don’t know! I get good vibes from them despite how cocky they feel. I think that may just have come across so strongly so that someone can possibly confirm who it is? Just, remember boundaries! Music: Downfall - Matchbox Twenty Brainy - The National (jogging) - Jetty Bones Take Me - Aly & Aj Pile 3: (Emma Woodhouse)

cards: 6 of swords, king of pentacles, 3 of swords, capricorn, scorpio, psyche, wolf, Flannery O'Connor (Humanity) I get this sense that this is someone who doesn't say much. Like, I think they speak only when they have something of value to say. I don't know, I just get that feeling because I pulled lyrics from the song The Silence by Manchester Orchestra. These lyrics don't suggest this, but I was thinking about the song title and the fact that I pulled the Wolf card too. I got the saying "lone-wolf" in my head with that. Also, with Scorpio and Capricorn, I get a strong energy from them but like both signs can be observational. I think Capricorns get pinned into this stereotype of being workaholics and super-materialistic, but at the root of it all, their earth signs, so they're still grounded and logical. Not in the sense of an air-signs logic, but like, I'd say understanding. Like, I think they feel more and think more than they let on, but they don't see much point in expressing those things, which is the exact energy I get from this person. I wonder if maybe they just have a hard time opening up? Also, the bottom deck energy for the tarot deck was The Emperor, and even though that's technically the Aries card, I definitely get like a Capricorn vibe from it too. Like, I do think they're good at controlling themselves. Like, their sense of self-control is GOOD. Maybe they're a little lost and having trouble with that right now, but I think normally this person is good at that. And for water signs, I view Scorpios as being a little more closed off. They're known for being extremely observational, but their observations are also fairly insightful. So, I bet this person has a lot they could say, but maybe they just don't deem it as worthy - or at least, not for everyone to hear. As though they don't open up to just anyone. I get a similar vibe in this pile to pile 1, so if you felt called to it, I’d check it out. With the tarot, I see that for some of you this is someone who is moving away from a job or something financial. I only say this because 6 of swords suggests moving away from something and 3 of swords suggests heartbreak, but with the king of pentacles (and even an earth sign like Capricorn falling out) I do wonder if this was job-related. Though, this could be someone who is getting over someone who is in the king of pentacles energy? I think they definitely could be moving away from heartbreak of some sort, whether it's finances or romance. But, along with that, I can also see 6 of swords being paired with Scorpio as being super transformational. Like, I think they know when they need to transform and go through those death/rebirths. Like when a change is needed. The 3 of swords could just say they've broken a few (or a lot) of hearts, and I'd say with both scorpio and capricorn present, they must be a pretty intense person, so heartbreak might be a common thing they cause. Or, they themselves have had many heart breaks. I think, mostly, though, what I get is that right now they're going through one. This could also be that they felt rejected by you at some point? Like maybe you rejected them, or it was vice versa and maybe they regret that? Either way, they're into you now. Even if you turned them down or they turned you down, they're into you. I think they could be at a distance from you - whether physical or maybe they just can't get you alone? Or, just time with you in general? Because I pulled lyrics from Mat Beringer's song Distant Axis: "I feel like I'm as far as I can get from you." And if we pair that with the 6 of swords, I could see a distance. I'm not sure what category you fall under (the actual physical one, or the one where you two can't get time together), but they're feeling this. Oh, the song Seneca by Movements came on, and this song is about someone finding out that an Ex that they never quite got over is engaged, so I definitely wonder if for some this is an ex that never got over you. The song before it was Garden Eyes by the same band, and that one talks about staying in a situation you feel because you think it's the best there is for you. So, I do wonder if one of you is with someone else and there's pining? Also, while this person is intense, I do wonder if they have some intense self-worth issues. I also think that they have trouble with the world in general. Like, I think they see what's going on and aren't happy. I get that from the Humanity card, Flannery O'Connor's. This card has a peacock on it (again, check out pile one if you felt called to) Peacocks to me seem to demand attention, whether or not it's really what they want? Like, either way, you're going to see their colors, so I think this person could be someone that stands out to you - but maybe you also notice that they're kind of a loner too. Like, not quite, but definitely someone who isn't quite open to everyone. The Humanity card can talk about reckoning with failure. She's holding a broken egg (though it looks like it's bleeding), so I have to wonder if maybe they put their eggs all in one basket (so to speak...) and it failed them, and now they're having to deal with the fall out or regret. It can also talk about knowing oneself, so maybe it's also them being in a process of relearning who they are? So if we go off of my theory of them having to get through heartbreak and move on from something either financial or romance related, we could maybe assume that maybe they had started to build their identity off of this relationship or job? Maybe it consumed them to a point where they lost themselves in it but now they don't have it so they're just sitting there with that broken egg? OH! The wolf card can mean the self without others, so yeah. They definitely lost themselves within something for a bit. Maybe even within you? I'm not sure, I think there are a lot of different situations here. I do think they see you in a hopeful way though, like maybe them thinking about you gets them in a better mood? I think, like my comment about them having trouble with self-worth, I think they're just having a difficult time, and maybe they're trying hard to be grateful? I pulled the song, the Silence by Manchester Orchestra for you and the line I pulled was "Let me open my eyes and be glad that I got here." So, perhaps they're just going through a tough time and having trouble finding the good in the world. I also think with the Psyche card, they're pretty intuitive and empathetic, especially if they're a Scorpio or have that in any major placements, so It's definitely this thought in my mind of them kind of drowning in pain? I'm not sure, but I get sadness from them. An intense energy, but also an intense sad one. So, I guess if you know who they are, and you have feelings for them too, I'd give them some space to heal. The bottom deck energy for the Literary Witch Oracle was Saphho's card, which has the keyword of Love, so I think it's a pretty big crush that they have. Another key saying for it is taking flight, so I think this person is moving on from whatever happened in the past, but I see it as a thick energy. Like, slow moving. Like, when you're trying to walk through water or snow? Just. Slow. The King of Pentacles in this deck has a turtle, so I'd definitely say slow...The last song that came on for you was Wake Me by Bleachers, and it's a pretty romantic song, so yeah. They like like you lol. Music: The Silence - Manchester Orchestra Distant Axis - Matt Beringer Seneca - Movements Garden Eyes - Movements Wake Me - Bleachers

Pile 4: (Jo March)

Cards: wall, saphho, the fool, king of cups, page of cups rx, virgo, 1st house, hygea I think they're indecisive, I'll say that lol Lot's of cards that would flip and then flip back before I could grab them. So maybe in general they just have trouble making decisions or they're undecided about you. Like, they have a crush, but they're not sure how big it is or if they want to make a move? For some, how to make a move? Yeah, I did pull some lyrics from a song by Road Trip called Tokyo Hotel, "If I leave my love in your hands, tell me you'll keep it safe?" So, I do wonder if this person is just scared of being vulnerable, and so maybe they're going through a healing period and aren't able to make a move/don't feel capable so they're just kind of crushing on you from far away. I also pulled the song Shameless by All Time Low, which basically is just about how the narrator thinks this person is shameless: "You talk like you're famous. You're shameless," but I almost don't see this as a bad thing. Like I think they view you as someone who see's your self worth, so I'm reading this that way. So, wow, that first paragraph was so funny because I wrote that before I pulled the other cards? I pulled the lyric cards first, mostly because I felt called to, but I also was like "maybe this can give me the tone of this pile's reading?" And it sure did! Yes, this is someone who is currently healing. They have some high boundaries right now, I especially see that with the card "wall", so yes. They're very protective of themselves. I'd say they're guarding their heart pretty closely, and I think that Sappho (Love), and King of Cups is a dragon in front of that cup, looking a little fierce. Not really welcoming at all. Also, page of cups is reversed. That card came out sideways, and when I looked at it I really just felt that it was more reversed than anything? Like, I think they want to offer you a cup, like even that King looks a bit like he does, but there's just this sense of needing to protect themselves, so it's not offered. But I think a word that applies to this is yet, like they have the intention to - I definitely feel this, but they don't think now is a good time. You did get Sappho, which the main keyword is love. So? I definitely think they have feelings for you and they definitely desire something with you, but not now? (Hey, on a side note, if you know who this is and also have feelings, please don't put your life on hold for them? I just felt the need to say that.) And maybe that's like on both sides, maybe they have some shit they're dealing with and maybe you do too. I accidentally wrote page of pentacles instead of cups when I was writing out the cards, and I do get that feeling here. I think they're starting something new like a new job/career or class while also healing themselves? So, it's just not a good time for them to start something else too. Especially because I feel like with the King of Cups they want to put effort into it, like the king is someone who is able to balance their emotions and think with their heart and their mind. Like, not rule quite as logically as the King of Swords, but there still is logic involved. Which brings me to the astrology cards. I pulled Virgo, which is so interesting to me. Lately I've been noticing how many similarities to Virgo that the sign Scorpio has? And I definitely get scorpio vibes with this pile despite not pulling anything that was like SUPER scorpio? Like, yes, cups are dominant here, so there's definitely water, But, outside of that, the only actual one that I'd say is Virgo for sure. However, we have the fool card here - I'm not going to get to this one quite yet, because I'm still kind of feeling that one out, but I can say that it's ruled by Uranus, which in return rules Aquarius. But, this person I think can be detached. I know that sounds weird, considering that I said I got watery Scorpio vibes (though, another thing to add is that this deck has chosen to use a siren for the fool card, so definitely WATER ), but I mean, I think with Virgo, Aquarius and Scorpio vibes, there's a HUGE analytical trait to this person. I think they observe and take in all of the little details. This could also be another reason why they're not making a move on you yet? I think there are a few more details they want to "smooth" over so to speak, but also a few more things they want to know about you. Also, bottom of the deck energy was Page of Swords, so more page activity. This, I think, is them watching you. Like, not in a creepy way. Just in a way to gather knowledge on how best to approach this? Going back to the fool, I think usually this is someone who does take chances. With the Virgo and Airy/Aquarius element, I think they think about these chances, like maybe even too much, but I think with that King of Cups and Page of Cups (even in the reverse), they still allow their heart to mingle in this logic? Maybe when they were younger they were impulsive, and over time they've learned to like, tame the impulsivity? It's funny because even though there's a page here, I don't think they're that young. Yes, some of them might be, but I think the majority of you that picked this pile are older? LIke 20s+? I said they have have started something new recently, and I think there are a few set backs within it, like maybe it's taken a while to get there. So, while they're a King of Cups, they're also a Page of Cups. Something about this crush on you also makes them feel inexperienced. Maybe, with past connections they liked to jump in right away (that fool card), but now they're...Not feeling so confident? Maybe, going back to the lyrics by All Time Low, they fear rejection from you? Bottom of the deck energy for the lyric deck was the song Flowerchild by Citizen with the line: "I don't know where I went wrong", so perhaps you've rejected them already? Or, there's a sense that if they offer something they won't be good enough for you? But...They're a king...I don't know! This person has some insecurities. Also, I think the wall card could indicate this as well? Like, this insecurities are obstacles. There also could be physical obstacles, like maybe it's just not possible for either of you to work it out right now, so maybe they're bidding their time? I have a lot of questions about this and I think this is mostly because I'm reading a lot of different situations, so if you feel like you recognize this energy, take what resonates. I have a song stuck in my head called Intuition by The Backseat Lovers, and I didn't want to mention it because I thought it was mostly just me, but it didn't really get stuck in my head until I started this pile. Also, I couldn't hear the lyrics or remember which song it was until right when I wrote "resonates". The lyrics I hear are "Call it intuition..." so, I think for some of you this is resonating. Like you're just confirming something. I looked at the booklet for the Virgo card to see if there was anything I wasn't remembering about the sign, and it did remind me of a few things. First off, it's an earth sign (Capricorn is on the bottom of the deck, so I think this person has strong earth/water placements), and can be nurturing. So, maybe it's that their embodying a more nurturing energy right now for themselves? Like, I get this organized nurture. That's so funny to say because I think when people think of people who are organized and super analytical they definitely get like this idea of someone who is really serious and no-nonsense, right? But, I don't get that? In fact, even though I think they're healing and they have their walls up, I get this cheery sense to this person. I think they do like order and I think they are trying to take care of their health/body/mind/emotions (hygeia and virgo definitely suggest this), but I think they also are a nice person. Like a genuinely nice? (not that someone who cares for themselves aren’t, I’m just saying they like to help people as well as themselves, like a: “I give what I can when I can” kind of energy) Even though that dragon looks a bit suspicious on the King of cups and he's snarling, I think maybe they could give off a cold/harsh exterior? But, this could also be linked to those boundaries and those insecurities. Maybe this is how they seem, but if you get to know them, they're warmer than this. Oh, you know that's so funny, I forgot that we have the 1st house here. This is the house that is basically how we are on the outside? So maybe they're a Virgo or Aquarius rising? Or even a Scorpio rising? So then that would make those their first house. So I think maybe this cold version is their mask, but maybe their sun or moon is something like a fire sign or even water? I'm not sure, because this is such a general reading that I'm probably reading for several people, so these are just small possibilities. It could just be that at this point in their life, this is how their energy is. Also, going back to hygeia, I think this person enjoys working out? Or just staying active. I think health is really important to them, or at least right now it is because bottom of the deck for the literary oracles is elixir, which can talk about health. You know what I just realized? That's not a dragon, its some sea creature, which I've gotten two new things from: the first is that that if they do like to stay active, I think they swim a lot or do a lot of water-related sports/activities. It could also be that water just really calms them down because water is a huge aspect of all the pictures on these cards. The second is that, remember how I said it looked like this "dragon" is guarding the cup in front of him? Like, that his heart is a bit closed off right now? Well, I also think that because this is some sea serpent that appears to be underwater (pretty deep too, judging by how dark the blue is in the background), so I think this person is keeping these feelings for you down deep. Like, deep down in their own ocean. So, like, they plan to tell you one day or at least they want to, but haven't been able to surface yet, if that makes sense? A few more things: The moon seems prominent some how. I didn't pull any cards that REALLY indicate the moon, but the hygeia card looks like the moon to me, but then the page of cups seems to have 6 moons too. So, 6 could be something important too. Maybe age difference? Month you met? Day you met? I'm not sure, something about this is important. Also, the moons can just kind of point out how there's still an unknown aspect to this, like they still are trying to figure you out but there's also stuff about them you don't know? So, if you do know who this is and you feel the same, you're asked to kind of wait for them to come around (NOT WAIT AROUND, I MEAN DON'T PUSH ANYTHING) but also that there's still some stuff you're unaware of. The color red is important too. When I first was shuffling I like saw it in my head but I didn't write about it because it just was like, "Oh, random" ya know? But now that I'm looking at the cards, I see it on the 1st house card and the King of Cups has some red that almost looks fiery. Also the page of cups has a red thread wrapped around their ankle, which, could be that maybe you're supposed to learn lessons from each other? Like, that red thread of fate? I'm not sure I can tell you if this person ever will make a move, but they want to some day. Another thing is that outside of red, I also think the colors green and blue are significant, like, maybe someone’s favorite color or something? So, basically this is someone who's healing after something. I don't think I got into what that could be, and honestly I don't really see what it could be with these cards. I think that's a message and it's that whatever it is, it's separate from you. Which is also why this person needs time to heal so that they don't bring it forward with them wherever they go, especially if that's to you. You know what's interesting? A few months ago I did a similar reading on who was crushing on people, and I definitely had a pile like this. So maybe you picked that pile and this is the same person and they're still healing? I'm not sure, I'll link that PAP here so that if you're curious to see if you get that pile you can read it. (here's that reading, it was pile 5) Music: Shameless - All Time Low Tokyo Hotel - Roadtrip Flowerchild - Citizen Intuition - The Backseat Lovers Pile 5: (Ross Poldark)

Cards: Sun, Venus, Juno, Waning Gibbous Moon, Shirley Jackson (family) Alejandra Pizarnik (solitude), wolf, The Lovers, Nine of Pentacles, The Fool, and Page of Wands Pile 5, Your (I meant to put this, but it feels important to leave Your) person is trying to get over you. That's my first thought on this situation. Maybe, not really get over you, but maybe they think its best? I'm not sure if maybe they're thinking that it's kind of a futile thing or that maybe they don't think that they have a chance with you. So far in the shuffling process you guys have 2 extra cards, so I think this person talks a lot. Also, there are a lot of yellows and pinks I'm seeing with these cards. Tulips or roses may be of significance. This person might have a lot of earth or air in their chart. Like, I pulled the venus card, so they could be Libra or Taurus, but I also puled The Lovers and The Fool, so also maybe Gemini or Aquarius. I also think that their sun and venus placements might be important, like maybe they have them in signs that work well with your signs? With the Wolf card and the Alejandra Pizarnik (Solitude) card I definitely think this is someone who keeps to themselves. I don't really think they're an introvert (they could be) but with the sun and the venus cards I feel a definite sense that they're flirty lol. Like, I think they might not spend a lot of time with people, but they definitely can be charismatic? Also, I think its interesting that there are both the venus and the juno cards because venus is about love language and juno is also about relationships? I had a really weird 10 minutes where I spent a while trying to figure this out. First I thought maybe this was someone married or in a relationship who was into you or someone you once dated yourself? But, (and while that could be true, re: either versions), I don't think so. Even though I have cards like Juno, that means the partner, or Shirley Jackson which is a card about family/domestic life, I also have Wolf and Solitude and 9 of pentacles. Plus, with the lovers, I do think there's some genuine feelings here. I mean, it could also mean like, a choice this person has to make, but why not give me two of swords or another 2 card? Like, it could also mean that this person has a duality to them (so maybe they are really introverted but can be an extrovert when they need to be?). A weird thing is that I almost feel like telling you to look at the last pile (4) if you were drawn to it, because on the solitude card she's holding a heart that's broken and bleeding. So, maybe this person just went through a really bad break up (and maybe I'm getting weird mixed messages because maybe this is someone you thought was in a relationship, but has since left it? The spilled cup of tea/coffee on Shirley Jackson's card also suggests this to me - also the stain on the wall under the house.) I feel like, if you know who they are, you’re not sure what they’re up to. Maybe you’re in communication or something, but it’s surface level stuff right now? So, who they are as a person is that like I said, they could be both introverted and extroverted. Honestly, I think they're a complex person really. I think they may be romantic, but also maybe a flirt. I think they could be a really sunny person too, like this sun card is just really standing out to me. This could just mean that they're confident (I almost think that's like a definite with the fool card here), but it could also suggest that they have a big ego. The Waning Gibbous moon is about perfecting, so maybe they're perfecting something , like an aspect of them (taming their ego?), or a hobby or a job or just anything? Maybe they're a student and they're learning so that's what they're perfecting? I do think with the Lovers here, this could be them trying to perfect the balance within them, so maybe it's them balancing their emotions, or their confidence where they have a lot of it, but not to a detrimental point? And while I definitely associate this 9 of pentacles with their relationship status, just in the context of these cards, I also think this is like someone who's got their shit together, or at least working on that. I think they're stable financially, or their working on it/just about there. I think they're also independent and they don't rely on anyone. Maybe family is important to them and they are close to their family - and maybe because of that, they dream to have one, but right now they’re alone? I think with Juno there, maybe they see that you're someone that could fit into this idea though? Though, I do think they're still actively trying to get over you, so I still get that sense that they think this might never happen. I think the fool card suggests that they're willing to take risks. In the last pile, even though I said maybe you should read that one too if you're called to it, I said that possibly they're usually impulsive with connections with people, but that in that specific one, they weren't being impulsive. In this one, I do think it's not that they're impulsive per-say, but that they take risks. I almost see it more as calculated (which is funny because last pile got virgo and I'd definitely read that as calculated risk with the fool, but wasn't getting the vibe - this one I do). I definitely am seeing this with how this siren is kind of just waiting on this rock, studying something? Bottom of the deck for the astrological deck was Scorpio, so I think they like to observe people. So, maybe this siren on the fool card is observing before they make a move? I'm not sure why I still get the sense that they think this is futile...? Because I'd say the fool would eventually take the leap into the water, but I'm not seeing them do this. Then again, I did say they were perfecting something, so maybe its a waiting game until whatever this is gets perfected? Oh, I did just have a thought. I thought they were trying to move on from you but maybe they just went through a break up and its whoever they just broke up with? The lyrics I pulled for you are from Prehistoric by Now, Now: " I'll say that I've been trying to move on, we both know I'm not" - with, that one could literally be about you, maybe before they broke up, they felt guilty about having feelings for you (Because I almost wonder if this crush has overlapped within a relationship)? Or it's about the ex? It's going to differ for situations I think. The other was Divide by Tiger's Jaw "But it's too cold to walk home and I know I shouldn't call you". The song is about two people are into each other, and they can see it but they don't express it? It's almost as if they think its a bad idea to be together. I'm trying to figure out why they're trying to move on from you. Or if it is you... Something about this feels like I'm missing something? And I guess maybe that's a sign that you're not supposed to know everything about this person. That's another similarity to pile 4, they weren't really supposed to know either. So, I wonder if maybe this is also a reflection of you at this point in your life too? Maybe you're both learning on how to be yourselves and in order for anything to work between you two (if that's supposed to, but honestly with the lovers here I feel like maybe it is), you're supposed to learn how to be independent and what you want in life and a partner? One of the keywords for venus in the booklet is the Divine Feminine and as I started thinking about that, my ear started ringing. So, I think that one of you or both of you is supposed to get more in touch with the softer side of yourself. Like, the emotions? The bottom deck energy for the tarot is the Empress, so I do think there is something in that. Maybe both of you need to work on nurturing yourselves but also how to nurture others? Gonna be honest, this pile is really confusing me. It's so weird, I was getting stuff and getting stuff and now I feel like I'm hitting a wall. I'm going to try and pull a clarifier for the lyrics, because I think they're throwing me off the most. So, even the clarifier seems contradictory. It was page of wands, which normally I'd see that card as someone who's naïve and impulsive, kind of like the fool I guess. But, I think I'm seeing this now more as this person should be focusing on what makes them passionate, which very well could be you, but instead they're trying to let go. I think maybe they themselves are fighting this inside a lot. I'm going to stop reading this here, I think. I think this person has a lot to figure out, but I think you do too? I think this is a confusing situation where you both have feelings but someone wasn't available and now they're still not despite being single? I think whatever this is, it's going to take time. Sorry if this one seemed all over the place. I do think if you felt called to another pile you should try and check it out too because maybe it will give you more answers. But also, I need to remind you to take only what resonates. Do not try and make anything that doesn't fit, fit. I'm thinking it's so scattered because I think everyone is scattered? Like, I'm obviously reading for more than 2 people here, so I think its a bunch of confused individuals and I feel the need to really highlight the word Individual. So, my advice is to focus on yourself for now. I didn't give the other piles advice, but I feel the need to give it to you. Music: Divide - Tigers Jaw Prehistoric - Now, Now The 1 - Taylor Swift Pile 6: (Simon Basset)

Cards: Book, Wings, Bees, King of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, The Hanged Man, Chiron, Waxing Crescent Moon, First Quarter Moon, Scorpio Wow. I'm pretty sure all 6 piles had some sort of scorpio mention, if not a scorpio-esque vibe. Either we're all attracting scorpios or its just some message for me that I'm ignoring. I'm going to read it like its not that!!! The tarot with this pile is really powerful to me. You got King of Swords, so someone who is really logical but knows how to use this logic to rule. This might be someone who maybe be higher up in their job? I wouldn't say its the CEO, but the fact that you also got King of Pentacles as the bottom deck energy, it very well may be? Or at least a manager of some sort. I also think because the bottom deck energy for the literary oracles is the eye, this is someone who holds a position over you? I think its like a watchful eye, they pay attention to you. But I think within this pile you may find answers to some questions you have? Another thing about that eye card is that for some reason when I saw it, I saw green eyes? So for some of you this person has green eyes. But I think that's for a limited few. You also have the Queen of Pentacles. The Queen of Pentacles is a nurturer, but she's also practical and grounded. So this person is both logical and grounded and to be honest that sounds like a double threat to me. I think with the hanged man, its kind of like the hermit in this sense. This person goes within a lot to think through things, but I think there's also that observational element from this and Scorpio, like they hang back and watch. That watchful eye again. This person loves to watch you. Like, I just keep thinking about that eye card and I don't know why. But, the hanged man can also talk about a pause. Perhaps this person is in a stagnant period within their life? Or they're on pause. I think whatever this pause is, it's not keeping them from from watching you. WHY DO I KEEP CIRCLING BACK TO THAT? I definitely think this person has some obsessive tendencies and I know that’s kind of a stereotype with scorpios, but because I keep thinking the words "watchful eye" i definitely think they're keeping tabs on you. Whether it be in person or on the internet. I don't get any particularly bad vibes from them, but I do think if they wanted to, they could be manipulative, so keep that in mind. The wings suggest that they're a very ambitious individual. So, if they haven't gotten to the top of their company yet and that's where they want to go, they will. Kind of like how I feel that once they set their eyes on someone, its only a matter of time before they make a move. I get that movement feeling with the wings and the bees too. Also, the wings could suggest someone that travels or likes to travel. Maybe they're also in constant movement. The king of swords is a griffon in this deck, so I definitely see a lot of movement with this person. The book for this deck says it can signify hope, so like the star card almost. I think they are hopeful about you, but I also read this as history. Maybe they like history (I'm thinking like renaissance period stuff if so, just based on the dress on the lady in the hanged man card?) or you both have a history with each other? Take what resonates, guys. And the bees can talk about teamwork, so maybe they just make a good partner, whether its within business or in love. But, I also could read this as work, so maybe this is a manager or boss of yours? Kind of scandalous to be honest lmao, I definitely get this forbidden feeling with this pile, I mean one of the songs is called Separate Rooms, so there's a sense of like...propriety here? The lyrics that I pulled from that song are "If you don't mind, I don't mind", so maybe its like, they don't quite mind that they think this might never happen or can't happen? I think maybe they'd say that for sure, but is that how they really feel? Or, possibly, they don’t mind the forbidden aspect of it (maybe its a turn on?). I do think they're into you for sure. I mean, obviously its' a reading on who has a crush on you, but the line from the other song I pulled, Honeypie by Love Fame Tragedy is "Some feelings go but most find their way back in", so I do think they try to not think about how they feel about you, and yet they always find that their thoughts come back to you? Especially if you work together, but it's like a fight they loose all the time. It just keeps happening. With the King of Swords I definitely see this person as more cerebral and even if they think less with their heart and more with their head, it doesn't mean that heart doesn't leak through. I bet its a battle within themselves daily, to be honest. With chiron, I think this person has a healing energy to them. There is also a bit of self-doubt, but I think we all experience that from time to time. They could also be healing themselves too? But I get that they're more of a healing energy. Bottom of the deck is New Moon, so I mean, they could be starting something new, which could maybe involve healing. I also pulled Waxing Crescent Moon, which can be about taking initiative. I think they're fairly action oriented, and I think both the King of Swords and the Queen of Pentacles (less so than the King of Swords, and slow movement with this card, but movement within this specific version) can say that too. I see those two as movers more than the Hanged Man, but again. I think they're in a period of stagnation, so I don't think they're doing a lot of action-oriented things right now. First Quarter Moon can talk about growth, so maybe this stagnant period is really them just growing? Like, maybe they're looking inward at their own faults and stuff like that. I feel like Chiron hints at that too. Like, they're gaining more knowledge about themselves and the world around them by going inward. Which, really, is the message of the hermit card, but it didn't come out. I think the Scorpio card also might factor into that healing energy as well as the one of growth. Scorpios are known for being all about transformation, which is what growth is. They also are a water sign, so I think there's a lot of emotions here, but I think they know how to transmute them healthily. It's interesting, because even though I get that this is kind of a forbidden connection (like I get that vibe), I think they sound like a good person to be around. Like, they almost give off a mentor vibe, and I like that. Even though they may be a little creepy and have their eye on you, I think they're also not a bad person to have around? I think they give good advice and I also think you can learn a lot from them, especially with the way I think they heal themselves. AHH. The bottom deck energy for the lyric deck was Good Together by Shallou and the first line in the song is “We couldn’t love from a distance” So! I think whatever this is, they can’t stand not being with you? Like, I think they want so badly to tell you how they feel but circumstances don’t allow for it. I didn’t even notice this until I was linking the song down below!! Though, the rest of the song is about how this person’s ex is falling for someone else now. So? I don’t know. That first line does really stick out to me, but maybe the rest of the song has something for you. Music: Honeypie - Love Fame Tragedy Separate Rooms - Now, Now Prehistoric - Now, Now Good Together - Shallou

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarot #tarot reading

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