#the internet: don’t watch if you didn’t fully watch the show

[hannahhasafact]

Gonna watch that Fionna and Cake show even though my knowledge of Adventure Time is like that weird cat thing from that one episode because

[tiredsadpeach]

Update they both hate me because I told the child one of them was harassing the acc he could block to try and stop it

[kujousgf]

EVERLONG. mdni. 18+.

dream girl evil universe

pairing: rockstar!natasha romanoff + yelena's best friend!reader

summary: you hadn't expected yelena's natasha to be the natasha

warnings: fluff, partial smut, light angst for like a second, top!natasha, bottom!reader, really they're just very sweet

wc: 2.5k

You freeze in the kitchen of Yelena’s apartment, seeing a redhead that you don’t recognize sitting on the couch in the living room. You briefly wonder if Yelena had had a breakdown and dyed her hair without telling you. That would explain today’s radio silence even though usually your phone was blowing up asking when you would finally be done with your classes and come make her dinner. It was Monday night and usually you’d come over to Yelena’s apartment to make dinner and watch whatever movie Yelena chose. Sometimes her girlfriend Kate would come over, but Yelena liked to keep Monday nights for ‘best friend time’ as she liked to call it. You hesitantly hang your bag on the hook by the door and close it behind you. Hopefully you didn’t just close yourself in with a serial killer or something. 

At the sound of the door closing, the redhead turns her head and your jaw almost drops when you make eye contact. Natasha Romanoff is sitting in Yelena’s living room. 

What the hell is Natasha Romanoff doing sitting in Yelena’s living room? 

The redhead is the lead guitarist and singer in what most magazines and articles are calling ‘one of the most popular female rock bands in the past twenty years.’ Even if someone doesn’t know Spellbound’s music, they’d know Natasha. She’s recently been a hot topic of the internet, having been caught on video punching one of her bandmate, Wanda’s, exes in the face after they wouldn’t stop harassing her. The video spread like wildfire, most people on Natasha’s side and other’s calling her a bitch, saying she shouldn’t get involved. You, of course, were on Natasha’s side. 

She doesn’t seem at all concerned, just raises an eyebrow at the continued silence when you don’t say anything. “You’re not Yelena.” Is what you say, lamely, when you can finally get your brain to connect to your vocal chords. “Not the last time I checked, no. As far as I can tell neither are you.” 

“It’s Monday night.” You say as if that would be any explanation at all as to why you’re in Yelena’s apartment. Natasha stands from the couch, putting the bottle of beer she was drinking down on Yelena’s coffee table. “Right,” she nods in agreement, “but that doesn’t explain what you’re doing in my sister’s apartment.” You almost choke on your own spit at Natasha’s words. Yelena’s Natasha was the Natasha? 

As if to save you from whatever wrath the redhead was going to unleash on you for being a stranger in her sister’s apartment, Yelena emerges from her bedroom. “Y/N! It’s nice of you to finally make it. I thought maybe a traffic monster had swallowed you up.” You were five minutes later than usual and she was acting like it was the end of the world, typical. Natasha is momentarily forgotten as you roll your eyes at your best friend's words. “Hi, Y/N. So nice to see you, Y/N. I’m so sorry I was a ghost today, Y/N.” You mock her playfully, ready to give her an earful for making you think she might have died today before Natasha clears her throat.

“Big sisters don’t get introductions anymore?”

It was easy to get over your initial starstruck feeling after the first couple of days that Natasha stayed with Yelena. You learned that there was a two week long break between legs of the tour and Natasha decided she wanted to come visit her sister. With no prior notice, of course, because that’s just how Natasha does things. It really didn’t take long for you to feel comfortable around her and although she had been skeptical to let herself fully relax around you, even if she didn’t show it, she eventually did. You found that you enjoyed being around her and even found yourself hanging around Yelena’s apartment even when she wasn’t there just so you could spend time with Natasha. 

And Natasha enjoyed spending time with you. She didn’t show it, much like she didn’t show most emotions that weren’t surface level, but she was excited to finally meet the famous Y/N Yelena would always rave about for the past however many years when they spoke on the phone. She would always regret not coming to visit more often, but she wouldn’t trade her current life for anything even if it meant time spent with Yelena was over the phone more often than not. She could make up for it in other ways, hopefully her sister felt the same. 

It was the last day of Natasha’s two week visit and you were both sitting on the cargo bed of her rental truck. It was parked in the grassy parking area near the picnic area of one of New York’s many state parks. It was nearly deserted save for a few families, August wasn’t exactly peak tourist season in this part of New York. You were waiting for Yelena to arrive with Kate, the blonde finally deciding that now would be a good time for Natasha to meet her girlfriend. Of course she waited until the day before Natasha left. 

You’re leaning into Natasha, your legs dangling off the edge of the cargo bed, kicking back and forth lightly. She’s leaning on one hand and letting you play with her fingers on the other. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to admit it out loud, but she will miss you when she’s gone. She hadn’t planned on growing so close to you and she’s never had a problem with being detached before, but something about you just draws her in. If she could stay here, with you leaning against her and the gentle breeze against her skin, she would. It’s a dangerous thought, she knows it is, but she wonders if you’d wait for her to come back. Whenever that is. 

The mixture of Natasha’s perfume and the nature around you is comforting and you don’t want anything to burst the little bubble of comfort you and Natasha have created for yourselves. “Is it bad that I don’t want you to go?” You ask quietly, hoping if you don’t say it too loud then the question won’t hold as many emotions as you know it does. Natasha doesn’t respond for a few seconds, trying to come up with an answer that won’t make you upset but also won’t give you any false hope. “You could always come to one of my shows.” Is what she settles for, but the sigh she gets in response isn’t what she wanted. 

��You know I can’t.” Your legs stop kicking and you let the warm breeze brush against them as it blows past. Natasha squeezes your hand, “I know.” She’s about to say something else, but the honk of a horn interrupts her and you practically jump off of the truck, a startled curse falling from your lips as you whip your head around. You groan when you see Yelena’s car and turn to bury your face in Natasha’s shoulder, previous feelings seemingly forgotten, “Your sister’s an asshole.”

Natasha laughs, reaching up to run a hand through your hair, the feeling much too familiar. It makes a pit form in her stomach, but she pushes it down. “It runs in the family. Now, come on. I have to go all big sister on this Kate girl.” She pats your shoulder and waits for you to pull away from her before getting down from the truck. She almost walks away, but thinks better of it, instead turning to help you down as well. There’s no reason to pull away, she reminds herself, you two are just friends. Friends who have spent the past couple of nights cuddled together on Yelena’s couch while watching movies, but still, just friends. 

You both hear two car doors shut and then Yelena’s voice, “Sestra! Come meet Kate!” and then much quieter, Kate’s nervous one, “Babe, I really think maybe we should just go back. I mean she’s already met Y/N, so maybe I’ll be next time.”

Surprisingly, you’re able to stop Natasha from scaring Kate too much, but she still puts the fear of God into the brunette, promising something awful if she were to ever break her sister’s heart. Of course Kate swears she would never do anything like that and then goes on a nervous rant about how she was totally on Natasha’s side when it came to punching that guy.

The rest of the afternoon goes smoothly, you all had a good time and you almost completely forgot that Natasha would be leaving tomorrow. Until you didn’t. You had been sleeping over at Yelena’s apartment the past couple of nights and tonight was no different, wanting to see Natasha off when she left. Like a good friend would. Because that’s what you were. Friends. 

Natasha had claimed she was going to stay up all night so that when she got on the bus in the morning, she’d be able to sleep through the long drive to the hotel in Indiana. You gave some lame excuse to hide wanting to spend more time with her as a reason why you’d stay up with her. Yelena had gone to sleep long ago and you were starting to get a little sleepy, but you weren’t going to give up now. You looked at your phone to check the time: 2:46am. 

You were in a similar position to earlier, except instead of a truck bed you were sitting on the couch with your legs curled up next to you as you leaned into Natasha. “Y/N?” Natasha whispers into the quiet of the living room, the only sound besides her voice being the quiet murmur from the tv. You hum in response, eyes trained on the scene being shown on the tv screen. You were watching reruns of one of your favorite shows and although Natasha wasn’t all that interested, she’d let you keep it on. 

“Y/N.” She says slightly louder and you sit up in confusion, looking around to see if maybe you’d missed something. You furrow your eyebrows when everything is the same as it was before, “what?” Natasha looks like she wants to say something, but she hesitates slightly. “Nevermind. Sorry, I thought I saw something.”

“Nat, seriously, what?” You’re beyond confused now and a little too tired to understand the emotions in Natasha’s eyes the way you usually would. It’s a split second decision, but the resolve she’s been trying to build up for the past few days has been effectively crumbled and the question that’s been on the tip of her tongue since you asked if it was bad you wanted her to stay finally escapes her lips, “can I kiss you?”

It takes you a second to register the fact that she actually wants to kiss you, but as soon as you do you’re nodding your head. She surges forward, cupping your cheeks and pressing her lips against yours. Your eyes flutter shut and you grab at her shirt, trying to tug her closer as your lips move against each other. Her tongue slides against your bottom lip and you gasp. She takes the opportunity to push her tongue into your mouth, exploring it. There’s no real fight for dominance, you let Natasha take the lead entirely. 

You tug her down as you lay back on the couch and she shifts slightly so that she can straddle your hips, one of her hands tangling in your hair. Eventually she has to pull away for air and she’s glad she does with the way you struggle to breathe properly, fists clutching her shirt. Your breathing is labored and she would find it cute had she not realized you were sacrificing breathing just to kiss her. She almost wants to scold you for it. 

She rubs her thumb across your cheek as she looks down at you. She really shouldn’t be doing this, not before she has to leave, and especially not in Yelena’s living room, but she doesn’t know if she really cares right now. “I’m going to kiss you again, okay?”

“Please.” You nod desperately, tugging her back down and meeting her lips halfway. This kiss is much more heated and messy, the both of you more desperate for each other than you already were. Natasha bites down on your bottom lip and you moan softly, arching up into her. Her smirk breaks the kiss and you almost whine, but it’s almost like she can read your mind because she’s immediately shushing you and pressing her lips to yours again. 

Your hands slide under her shirt to grip at her waist and pull her closer to you, desperately wanting to feel her against you. The way you’re kissing is almost feverish, the both of you so desperate that you feel if you don’t consume the other it may be your demise. Natasha pulls away to quickly pull her shirt off and discard it on the floor and if you weren’t so desperate to have her lips on yours again, you would have taken more time to admire her abs. 

When she leans back down to meet your lips in another frenzied kiss, she doesn’t even take the time to pull your shirt off entirely, merely pushes it up and over your breasts, her hands finding purchase on the soft skin of your waist before traveling up. She groans at the way your body reacts to her and the little whine you let out when she slides her fingertips over the cups of your bra. 

When she pulls away again you try to catch your breath, feeling a little lightheaded from having Natasha like this. She’s leaning over you, hands cupping your cheeks as her thumb rubs soothingly across one of them. “If we keep going, I’m not going to be able to stop.” She laughs lightly, the look on your face telling her that very much wouldn’t be a problem. “But I don’t think this is the right place for that, doll. Another time, alright?”

The rest of the night is spent with Natasha whispering sweet nothings to you as you fall in and out of sleep, trying your best to stay awake with her. She promises to come back soon, even though she doesn’t know when soon will be, and that she’ll text you when she can and set aside time to call, and would you like that? Eventually, you succumb to sleep and Natasha has to slip away without a proper goodbye. She’d tried to wake you, you can’t fault her for that one. And if Yelena noticed you wearing Natasha’s shirt while you were asleep on the couch, she didn’t say anything. 

-

“I hope you guys don’t mind us playing something new.” Natasha’s words are met with loud cheers and she smirks softly, “it’s a song I wrote recently and we haven’t had a chance to play it for anyone yet so we figured why not, right? It’s called Everlong. I hope you guys like it.” She looks behind her and nods to Carol who starts the drum beat.

“Hello

I’ve waited here for you

Everlong”

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

You know how small children, especially toddlers who just started walking and talking could be, so I'm curious how the turtles would handle their oldest kidd at this age especially since they never got to interact and take care of kids before this. From my personal experience, toddlers can be either innocent and cute little angels or annoying devils who bother everyone in public if they don't get what they want

First Steps or Words (Fluff)

Bayverse!Turtles x reader

A/N: I’m not fully sure what you mean with toddlers just having learned to walk and talk, as kids typically take their first step or say their first word during the infant stage, but it could very well be my limited English that is getting in the way here😅 Anyway, in my internship I work with kids in the age group of 3 - 5, so I agree and disagree. Kids have a limited knowledge, both of themselves and their surroundings. Oftentimes they don’t think of how their actions can affect others, which is then my job to help them understand, and at the same time help them verbalize their emotions in a better way. But boy, sometimes the last thing you need is 4 year old that’s crying over something so simple as a toy, even though to them it's their whole world at that moment😭 Enough of that, time for some cute stuff💙❤️💜🧡

Warnings: I already had baby fever before this, so I don’t know if you guys will get it too😭💚

Leonardo:

Never had Leo thought he would get to experience something like this. You and him in your shared bedroom, relaxing after a long day of working, with little baby Romeo smiling and giggling in the bed, kicking around in his little onesie. Your son had been a giggling delight all day, making all sorts of sounds from his play pen, almost distracting you, Leo and the first of the turtles in your work, building to extend the lair so that there would be space for your growing family.

Recently, Romeo had learned of a new sound to make, showing it off proudly with or  without a crowd to watch or hear him. Pressing his lips together with his tongue poking out, Romeo would blow out air, creating what sounded like a fart noise, with bubbles of spit forming where the air came out.

This was nothing new to you, having seen many human babies do things like that, either on the internet or in real life. You didn’t find it any less cute however, you had just known that Romeo would start doing it at some point. Leo however, was totally mesmerized. He had never seen nor heard a baby make noises like that, even though he watched hundreds of baby videos after the day he learned you were pregnant. But nothing prepared Leo for how fast it was going. In less than a year, Romeo had gotten from this little emobile green bean with big staring eyes, to this little bundle of loud noises and kicking limbs. Leo’s heart swelled, and as he watched Romeo kick around on your shared bed as you and Leo was cleaning up for the night, Leo couldn’t stop himself from hovering over your son, nuzzling his beak against his little stomach, causing the young boy to let out a high pitch scream of laughter. Leo lifted his head from Romeo’s stomach, looking down at his smiling son as he pressed his lips together around his tongue, kicking his legs as he made the noise he had been making for the last few days.

“Bbrrrrrrr”, Romeo let out, small bubbles forming around his mouth, making it impossible for Leo not to smile.

“Bbbrrrrrrrr”, Leo said back to your son, the small child laughing at his mimicking, reaching out for him, his small hands touching Leo’s face.

“Is daddy being silly?”, you asked in a baby voice, smiling with a chuckle as Romeo continued his small sounds, only for Leo to say them back to him. Romeo let out a high pitched shriek with a big smile, holding on to Leo’s face as his bright small eyes started at him. You wouldn’t help but smile as you watched the two of them, feeling warm throughout your body. It was wonderful to see Leo be so calm and loose around his child. He was truly at peace. “I think daddy’s being silly”, you teased, causing Leo to poke his tongue out at you as Romeo rambled on.

“No, daddy is having fun”, he said, turning his attention back towards the rambling Romeo.

“Brrrr, ba, babababa, dadadadada”.

You and Leo stared at each other in shock. Did you hear right? Did Romeo just say what you thought he said? All of your questions were soon answered when Romeo reached out for Leo once more, continuing his newly learned word.

“Dadadada”.

“That’s right!”, Leo exclaimed, picking up the happily screaming Romeo. “I’m dada! I’m your dada! Did you hear that mama?! He said dada!”

Raphael:

There was nothing more entertaining than watching Joan crawl around the floor, trying to get from one place to another, closely following behind either you or Raph as you walked around the lair. With her small arms and legs and what you could only describe as a happy battle cry, she tried to keep you the best she could, soon gaining very strong leg muscles that could push her around the floor with ease. It was just a matter of time before she would start walking, and Raph was more than ready for that.

Everyday, Raph watched Joan intently, waiting for the moment she would start walking around on her small legs. He was fully intended to see her first steps, especially after having heard Leo complain more than once that he wasn’t home to watch his own son’s first steps. Raph wouldn’t make the same mistake. He would be there with a front row view when his first born started walking. But so far, she had only been crawling or sitting on her but, screaming loudly before following people around.

But Raph never once gave up hope, continuing to watch Joan each and every day, for the moment she would start carrying herself around on only two limbs. Which was one of the many reasons why he now sat on your shared bedroom floor on Joan’s playmate, with the young child between his legs, hoping that she would support herself on him and start walking. You sat on the bed, watching them with a smile, feeling your heart swell as Raph baby talked with your daughter.

You could have stayed there and watched them for hours, had your parents not called, asking about the next time they could come and visit you and Raph, and see their adorable little granddaughter. Therefore you stood up with your mother on the phone, heading towards the living area, in order to hear the other turtles and their partners, if they were okay with your parents coming over that following weekend.

And just like any other time, when either you or Raph stood up around little Joan, she looked in your direction, let out a high pitch sound before following you, supporting herself on Raph’s legs. Raph held his breath, waiting for the moment Joan would let go, and follow without anything supporting her. But as soon as she let go of Raph, she fell to her knees and started crawling for the door.

Raph chuckled, only slightly disappointed that Joan didn’t walk, but highly amused by her determination. “Don’t worry sweetpea”, he said. “Mommy will be back in just a moment”.

Joan sat back on her butt, looking at Raph for a moment with her fingers in her mouth, before she let out another sound, crawling back towards him. Or that was what Raph thought she was going to do. As she placed her hands on the ground, just like she usually did when she crawled, she did not start to move forward. Instead she used them to push herself off the ground, before wopling on her own two feet.

Raph let out the biggest shriek you had never heard, making you stop and turn in the living area, your mother still on the phone. Flailing around on the ground with his arms open, as if to tell her to come to him, Raph called out for you. “Babe! She’s walking! (Y/N)! She’s walking!”

You almost fell back into the room at the sound of Raph’s shriek, almost forgetting about your mother on the phone, not hearing her concerned questions, fearing that the roof was falling down on top of Raph and Joan. So did you for a moment, not registering the words Raph had yelled, but the sight of Joan taking small hesitant steps towards Raph was almost enough to make you fall to your knees with your arms open as well.

“Mom!”, you yelled into the phone, turning on the camera so she could follow along. “She’s walking! Joan’s walking!”, you continued to yell, capturing the moment Joan walked straight into Raph’s arms with a bright smile.

Donatello:

Have you ever seen a baby get mad, when they can’t do the things people around them can? Well, that was Galileo when it came to walking. Watching his parents, uncles, ants, grandparents and cousins walk, while he was stuck on the floor was enough to make him angry, supporting himself on everything, trying his best to walk on his own. But it was the same story every time. As soon as Gali let go of whatever he was holding onto, he fell to the ground with a sad and angry expression. He wanted to walk!

You and Donnie did your best, lending him a helping hand whenever he wanted to walk, feeling pure happiness when you saw the big smile upon his face and heard his loud happy noises. But there were times where you couldn’t help him, or walk him in circles around the living area for hours. But Gali wanted that. He wanted to walk so bad, almost to the point where he got hysterical when he was tired. So you and Donnie did what you could do and helped him practice, enjoying his laughter and smile and how it brightened your world up.

One day, you and Donnie found yourselves sitting in the middle of the living area, sitting on the floor in front of each other with your legs out scratched. You held Gali’s hands in yours, his infectious laughter making both you and Donnie break out in bright smiles as you watched your son stand on his wobbly legs, holding onto you in order to stay up.

“Come on, Gali”, you said, fighting not to break into another fit of laughter. “Go over to daddy”.

You slowly guided Gali forward with the help of your arms, Gali laughing all the way, even as Donnie took his hands from yours, helping him all the way into his embrace.

“Hey, big boy!”, Donnie smiled, causing Gali to throw his head back in further laughter. It was adorable. Donnie held Gali close in a hug, looking at his hysterically laughing son, taking off his own glasses in order to rub his eyes, that had glossed over in tears due to his own laughter. “I’ll never get enough of this!”

“Imagine how much he will laugh when he can walk on his own”, you said, massaging your cheeks as they started to hurt from all that laughing.

“I can’t wait to find out”, Donnie said, turning Gali back towards you, holding him by the sides. Still smiling wide, Gali looked back over his shoulder, smiling at Donnie, a little bit of drool running from the side of his mouth. “Go to mommy, Gali. It’s mommy’s turn”.

Gali started laughing again, his legs giving out under him, letting him fall down into Donnie’s lap. However Gali kept laughing, causing Donnie to hide his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking from his own chuckles.

Gali stopped laughing, and grabbed onto Donnie’s arm, pulling himself up on his feet. Donnie quickly recovered, ready to hold on to his son once more, only to find that Gali had already taken a few steps away from him, still holding onto his arm. And then Gali let go. Both you and Donnie expected him to fall to the ground, followed by loud crying, but that did not happen. Instead Gali continued to walk towards you, laughing and screaming happily as he did so, before almost falling into your arms, you and Donnie staring at each other in shock.

“Gali’s walking!”, Donnie exclaimed, as if he did not fully believe it.

“He is”, you said, letting go of your young son, only for him to walk back to Donnie with more happy screaming.

“You’re walking!”, Donnie yelled excitedly, lifting Gali up for a bear hug, the young boy screaming and laughing all the way.

Michelangelo:

Nothing could beat mornings like this. You and Mikey in the kitchen with Sunny in her high chair, eating alone together before the rest of the family woke up. Who would have thought that you and Mikey ever would become morning people? Well, neither you nor Mikey, but then you gave birth to a daughter that tended to rise with the sun every day, and there was nothing that would make her go back to sleep. But both of you had to admit it was nice, sitting just you three in the kitchen, engaging Sunny in small conversation, her small sounds and her finger that kept pointing everywhere with curiosity, without the rest of the family around. It wasn’t because you didn’t want the others around, no not all, but because when Mikey’s brothers and their partners woke up, then so did their toddlers. And as much as you loved your nephews and niece, it was nice with some time only for your little family, enjoying your early breakfast together.

Once all of you had finished eating, you would stay in the kitchen for a moment, waiting for the rest of the lair to wake up. During those moments, Mikey tended to take Sunny out of her highchair and set her on his lap, letting her play with his hands, the tails of his bandana, or whatever caught her wandering attention that morning. And today it was his thumb, her small fingers holding onto it as she made all the sounds she could think of.

“Mmmmm”, Sunny hummed, her small hands grabbing onto Mikey’s thumb, before putting it into her mouth with a small grin. “Mmmmmm”.

“Do you think she’s about to say her first word?”, Mikey asked, wiggling his thumb a little, making Sunny giggle. “I think she’ll say her first word today”.

“Yesterday you thought she was going to say her first word”, you smiled, chuckling at the drool that dripped from her mouth.

“Mmmmmm”, she continued, her bright blue eyes looking up at her father.

“What’s that?”, he asked, bouncing his leg slightly, making her giggle once again. “Are you about to say mommy?”

You rolled your eyes. For the past few weeks, Mikey had tried and tried his best, wanting Sunny’s first words to be your parental title. And why exactly? Well, because Mikey thought you deserved it. You gave birth to her, so at least her first words could be mommy.

“Mikey, she isn’t going to say mommy”, you said with a smile, shaking your head at your husband.

“Bet”, Mikey said, lifting Sunny up so that she was standing on his thigh with both his hands under her arms. “Come on, Sunshine, say mommy”.

“Mmmmmm”.

“Mikey”, you said in a teasing warning.

“Mmmmmm”, Sunny continued.

“Nono babe, she almost got it”, he said, his eyes never leaving her small face. “Come on, Sunny, say mommy. I know you can do it”.

“Mmmmm”, she said one more time, and then, suddenly. “Mikey!”

Mikey stared at Sunny in confusion while you broke out in laughter, Sunny giggling in the way she always did.

“No, no, Sunshine”, Mikey said with a chuckle of disbelief. “I’m daddy, not Mikey”.

“Mikey!”, she said with a big and bright smile, giggling even more at his confused expression. This was definitely not what he had expected, nor did he fully know how to react. But for a long time afterwards, no one was allowed to call him Mikey, until Sunny started calling him daddy.

[circeyoru]

Surprise, Surprise, I’m Here to Watch = Requested

[Hazbin Hotel x 3 Powers Granted!Reader]

Did you think it was possible? No way. Did you embrace it? Oh yes baby

That random lamp you ordered off the internet to fill your cart to get some discount was not garbage. 3 wishes. Anything. Oh, you didn’t want immortality, no, living is a pain. Wealth, you’re not putting a target on your back. Perfect health, that’s like immortality, so no. More wishes, come on, don’t think you can lie your way with this. Don’t be greedy

“First one. Power to travel between universe, and I mean that as in non-fiction and fictional worlds. Second one. Shapeshifting powers, like I don’t want the pain that comes along as well if you can. Third one. Uhhh. Perfect stealth? Like no one will be able to know I’m here until I let them.”

“Are you sure you want to use all your wishes in one-go? I’ll be gone once it’s granted.” The genie blinked at the swiftness. Usually people would think forever or save them up for extreme cases

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up and grant me my wishes. I don’t imagine you like to entertain me for long anyways.” You waved the genie off and in a poof and a snap (should have been “A wap! Bam! Boom! Alakazam!”) you were granted those exact powers

Now being a hardcore shut-in addicted to all things fiction, you tested out your powers first to see if you were dreaming. Then you trained yourself a bit with them and tested their limits. In the meantime, you debated on which universe to go to officially. “Has to be Hazbin Hotel.”

You were obsessed, like majorly obsessed with the show. The moment news came about season 1, you prepared yourself and watched them first thing! You watched more than once, having to remember the lines and songs by heart. Nothing beats watching it unfold in real life or fiction life

Maybe it was because you were kind to the genie (being quick about your wishes) that when you traveled to other universes, time in the real world, your world stops until you’re back. You thanked the genie mentally and honest feel a bit guilty that you shooed them off so quickly. But you’ll make it up with fully using your powers

You figured out everything, a demon and angel form (check the ask) and when to go. You did like Lucifer’s entrance to the show. So why not episode 5? You snapped your fingers, opening a portal before you. You closed your eyes to imagine your demon form, a ring appeared over the top of your head and travelled down, shifting your form to what you pleased. Then you got your bag with your phone and charger and you were ready!

You activated your stealth before entering. Like some fanfiction written about the environment, it was that horrid. If you were in human form, you think you’d die like not even pass out but straight up die from inhaling whatever was in the air. You don’t think any human can survive a second here

Like when traveling to other universes, you weren’t where you wanted and have to travel around. You went straight for the Happy (Hazbin) Hotel, noting the various shops and demons around you, taking out your phone, you recorded your way to mark down locations since this was no longer a fictional place the moment you entered

While you shapeshifted into a demon, you can die. Your body acted on the laws of your world no matter where you went. Your powers of shapeshifting gave you the physiology of a demon and maybe some common powers that other demons have. That was if you traveled to this world first, during your testing period, you went to other worlds and ended up with other powers, though they can’t compare to the ones the genie granted you, it was still power. You can confidentially say you weren’t human anymore

Humming with interest, you climbed into the hotel lobby through an open window so as not to alert the demons inside. Well, you didn’t even need to when you saw everyone preparing for Lucifer’s arrival. You looked up to see Alastor’s annoyed look as he observed the situation in silence. Everything was on track

Delightfully, you recorded everything on your phone, keeping quiet as best you could. Even more excited when you found out that Alastor could be captured on your phone. You followed the plotlines as it was intended, but you have to say witnessing Alastor threaten Husk into silence was more terrifying than you thought. You almost dropped your phone from your shaking hands

You were tempted to help Husk, but you decided against it and went to where Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer would be. You watched everything for there onwards. Since that balcony would be the perfect place to record Alastor’s Radio Demon show. But you made it down in time to see Lucifer agreeing to get that meeting with Heaven

Before you followed the couple to Heaven, since there was time, you lazed around town without your stealth active. You had the pleasure of testing your demonic powers and appearance. Sinners and demons alike were hooked, you happily showed them not to mess with you. Soon rumours came about saying a mysterious demon was cruelly killing any that dares to address you. Perhaps you should have kept things on the down low

That little hiccup didn’t stop you from following Charlie and Vaggie to Heaven, you went as far as to appear angelic with another form to travel around without your stealth. It was safer in Heaven after all. You having more wings allowed you easy access to the courthouse as well, you seated gracefully among the other angels and watched the scene untold like the script

You noticed the angelic beings near you start to eye you questionably as you recorded the scene below you without a care, even giggling and chuckling at some moment like you were watching a show. Thing is, it was a show, they all were characters of another’s creation and they didn’t even know it! Your odd actions were nothing compared to the drama happening

Proved that you were only noticed officially when the song came to its end and your giggles were heard out and clear. Your wings fluttered as you stood in front of Charlie and Vaggie, the two smaller wings by the side of your head covering your face

You elegantlly mocked aloud, targeting at Adam and Lute. “I always wondered why angels were given a free pass to everything, including the use of unholy words like a demon and committing action like a demon. Perhaps,” Your smaller wings parted for your golden eyes to stare and glare at Adam, “You are the one that belonged in Hell instead of that poor soul.”

Enraged, Adam sent you three back to Hell with the threat that he’d attack the hotel first. Your wings hid your face again the moment you three were back in the hotel lobby. As Charlie remember you being sent to Hell with them, she turned to you to apologize, only to find you in demon form. Her eyes confused as you turned to look at her. “No harm done, princess. I was never a soul in that place anyways. I had to say something to that piece of work known as the first man.”

Using their shocked and confused moment, you actived your stealth before they could question you anything else. You was fun to watch them fret over your disappearance like you were a child and they a parent, you stuck around since the battle was drawing closer. You’d follow the plotline to go into Charlie’s room, but she needed her privacy and you only went when Vaggie did

Later on, you went with Charlie to Cannibal Town. You wanted to see Rosie! The lovely demon that only officially made her debut much later. You had to record the song as well, though you missed Camilla’s sadly. You also took note of the VoxTech drone that watched the scene, you couldn’t help but shot it out of the sky with a rock

When the battle happened, you were away from Alastor in the beginning and helped out behind the scenes, shooting down exterminators that breached the ‘front line’ or threatened to harm/kill Rosie’s people. You (for the first time) didn’t record a moment since it was intense and you didn’t want to accidentally die or get hurt

You nudged Niffty in Adam’s direction when it was sprouting nonsense that you want jump out your skin for. Then you recorded the stab moment. A scene that many loved after the episode was aired. There was another that you watched, Lucifer’s comment before his and Adam’s ‘fight’ began. You honestly couldn’t hold yourself and laughed like you did when you rewatched the episode so many times

Then you were moving in the speed of light to record their final song. Even going to Alastor’s destroyed tower to get his part. And you rushed back to to hotel later to get the rest of it. You had one hell of a leg work and accidentially dropped your stealth due to tiredness

“You’re that demon that was angel but not!” You heard Angel’s voice shouted and saw his four arms pointed at you.

“Yeah, I have a name, so…” You trailed off, wanting to not be in the spotlight, you’re honestly scared to be involve because the later seasons were not released and you didn’t want anything to be affected. “Bye?”

“No way! We’re celebrating with us!” Charlie quickly wrapped her arm to hook one of yours, Vaggie followed and stood on your other side as her girlfriend continued, “Don’t think I didn’t notice some exterminators falling and dying for no reason!”

Yeah, people saying Charlie was more powerful than she led on was right on the money, even in that chaotic scene she noticed your involvement

You sighed and gave in, no turning back now, “Fine. Fine. I guess I deserve some celebration too.”

Note: I’ll be completely honest, this one, I had no idea how to write. Plus it was different from what I usually write. This is more like a Reader Insert than anything. Hope you enjoyed it though!

Circe Y.

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@no1sillybilly

[send-me-a-puffalope]

Nat rambling about the entire plot of Pretty Perfect Lives for way too long because autism hyperfixation doesn’t stop for no one.

I came for Elizabeth Lail, left debating with my friend about what the fuck I just watched /pos. I was so deeply invested so here’s me just explaining the plot of the entire show:

It starts off with Tiffany and Tucker (imagine Tiffany and Tucker as Barbie and Ken cause that’s pretty much who they are, but as TikTok influencers instead of in Barbieland) recording videos for “the app” and then they’re like back alone in their home and they’re having relationship issues and Tiffany wants to talk about their relationship cause she feels like they’re growing distant BUT she’s recording them secretly so she can post it onto their account for content (which is supposed to be tiktok but they just call it The App probably because they’re not allowed to say TikTok LMFAOO)

And turns out the conversation they end up having is that Tucker thinks he might be into men too but doesn’t want to break up with Tiffany but then Tucker realized that she’s filming all of their emotional talk to show to their audience that they’re “authentic” and rightfully gets mad because Tiffany is using his internal conflicts as content online.

They then post a video about how they’re going to explore an open relationship but open only on Tucker’s side — she was still fully committed to just Tucker. And then they invite this guy Jesse over for a threesome and it was really awkward and Jesse is like oh the way I like to do things is watching the couple do it and i’ll join in when the time is right. and then Tiffany was just like. ohh yeah no i’m not here to participate. i’m just here to watch. and then it was like Jesse and Tucker undressing and Jesse choking him out with a belt while Tiffany was just like fujoing out from her cuck seat

and then Tiffany posted a video about how their “threesome” was and Tucker was like wtf babe you didn’t ask me about this before posting. this doesn’t feel like you respect my boundaries and Tiffany refuses to delete the video because it’s gotten them a lot of attention. and then they argue and then they break up and Tiffany has a panic attack while screaming for Tucker to not leave her alone (Elizabeth Lail’s performance is so so so so good here, her wailing was so heartbreaking) and then the scene changes.

Lights come up and it’s Tucker coming home and being like hey babeeeeeeee and ITS JESSE INSTEAD OF TIFFANY NOW. But it’s like the exact same situation — Jesse keeps wanting him to record videos with him for “the app” and wanting Tucker to quit his job so that they can do like sex work online instead. but Tucker is like woah um. maybe not. what if i want a job in the future. and then he’s like hey babe why don’t we spend some time together instead, off the internet and Jesse has like stopped paying attention and is just like scrolling through “the app”.

Tucker is like trying to sleep but can’t fall asleep and keeps checking his phone and watching videos that Tiffany posted and he’s like shit,,,, i regret breaking up with Tiffany. and he calls Tiffany like hey i wanna get some closure, why don’t you come over. and then Tiffany does in the next scene in the fuckinf hottest full black outfit. black tube or tank top, black jean jacket, black pants and sunglasses and she’s like yeah. i’ve been doing. fine.

and then they have like cuts in of like Tiffany making DAY 68 OF HAVING YOUR BOYFRIEND LEAVE YOU FOR THE GUY WE INVITED OVER FOR A THREESOME videos. the day 195 one was her crying and saying that she was apart of the “women whose boyfriends left them for a man” community but that thanks to neutragena, the redness isn’t as prominent on her face (link in the description /j)

and then Tucker was like i regret breaking up with you so bad i wish we can just go back to the way we were. and then Tiffany was like no, we can’t. we can’t just pretend none of this ever happened. and then storms off

AND THEN THE NEXT SCENE, Tiffany comes home like disheveled and Jesse (now they’re dating) is like babe are you okay?? you can’t just go missing for 2 whole days and say that you don’t wanna talk about it. and Tiffany has a bit of a breakdown and she’s like i miss when we were keeping our relationship hidden, but now everyone on the internet knows and everyone on the internet hates me and i cant take it anymore. We can’t talk this out, we have to break up because i can’t handle this relationship.

This ends with Tiffany screaming I JUST NEED TO BE ALONE and a glitch happens and the whole stage gets like covered in code and the lights start flashing and then the stage goes black.

THEN. Jesse appears on the side of the screen joining as an “interviewee” from the incident that happened in the IRS-P (internet reality simulation project) where a glitch happened in their simulation and that Jesse got out but Tiffany and Tucker was lost in the simulation. FUCKING PLOT TWIST, THIS IS ALL A SIMULATION.

And they were asking him questions and Jesse explained that he was honored at first that the company selected him, a small influencer, for their huge giant new project. He had just wanted to feel the rush of adrenaline of people finding him attractive and in the simulation he found Tiffany and Tucker. in every universe, he was always intertwined with Tiffany and Tucker and at first he enjoyed it but then it felt more and more like they were just using him.

and then he starts dissociating and he starts hearing the interviewer as Tucker and he starts screaming for Tucker and asking him where he is and the interviewer keeps trying to calm him down but he’s like screaming and having a breakdown because apparently he’s experienced this interview multiple times and he can’t escape (so this whole section might still be in the glitched simulation ??? or it’s a trauma reaction. unclear and likely up to audience interpretation) (Nic Ashe was incredible here, his acting was so gutwrenching)

And then eventually when he’s able to calm down, the interviewer is gone and he’s alone again and his light goes dark.

However, simultaneously to this, on the dark stage, Tiffany is in this nude suit and she’s just like. taking the stage apart and putting props all over the floor (I think the nude suits are a metaphor for them being stripped of theirselves or baring themselves to the audience/each other when Tucker comes on)

The lights come back on, Tiffany comes back on in her nude suit and she’s like confused about the home being a mess and then she collects like the 8 phones on the floor and she tries to use two to start a fire and fails. and then Tucker comes in in a nude suit too and he asks her what’s happening and she’s like idk i tried to start a fire but i don’t remember how to. and then tucker is like did you ever know how to start a fire ?? and then he tries — using two phones and successfully starts a fire.

and then Tiffany feels like super useless and then Tucker starts singing “their song” because the mood kinda stinks and then Tiffany is like ???? what the fuck dude. not the time. but then she ends up singing too (and good lord Elizabeth Lail can sing i’m gonna kill myself she’s so hot i’m gonna lose it i’m gonna lose it i’m gonna lose it i’m gonna lose jr she’s like really good at singing jrs reallt i’m actually gonna lose it holy shit.) and they have this whole moment in their nude suits where they like twirled around and sang their song.

and then they kinda go back to being emo and stuff and Tiffany is like i think the simulation glitched. do you think we’re gonna be stuck here forever? Tiffany is like the sky and the ocean have no horizon, that’s not normal. and Tucker is like huh. you’re right. and then Tiffany says she’s cold and and tucker tries to use the objects scattered across the floor to build them a fort (the tripods and a towel) and he asks tiffany if there’s anything else long to use to build the fort and she was like uhhhh there’s a ring light (i think them having the social media equipment instead of real items is a metaphor for them replacing everything truly authentic in their lives with their fake personalities online).

and then the conversation goes sour and Tucker is like i’m trying so hard because i’m worried that if i don’t try then none of us are going to be trying in this relationship. and this part was like really funny (not intentionally) because Tucker is just in this nude suit and he stands angrily away from Tiffany but because of the nude suit, he’s just double cheeked up in the corner. and here they actually genuinely have a true heart to heart talk now that it’s silent and not cluttered by their online lives. Tiffany reveals that she signed them up for the IRS-P because she wanted to see who else was out there that she might connect with better than Tucker because it’s always been him but she didn’t want to lose everything she had with him. She wasn’t content with their relationship but wasn’t ready to let go of them.

Tiffany’s character is so interesting because while she is very clearly in the wrong in the beginning of the show, she’s given more depth as a character— she’s putting on a front for most of the show but when she breaks down from everything going wrong, she admits that she doesn’t even like the sound of her own voice and that she’s made so much of her life about her online presence that she doesn’t even remember who she used to be and how to stop. She has a panic attack when her life starts kinda falling apart when Tucker leaves her but she’s also kinda selfish in that she stops seeing Tucker as his own person and just as an object to gain attention for their “perfect life”. She often shifts the blame onto Tucker when they’re arguing but when they’re in the glitched simulation (the nude suits)— she admits that she does that because she thinks she’s the problem but doesn’t know how to fix herself.

GOD I LOVE,,, ELIZABETH LAIL CHARACTERS. who needs drugs when you’ve got autism hyperfixation

Okay, and then tiffany is like fuck it. and then they both take off their nude suits (Halle-fucking-lujah by the fucking way. I felt like I was committing a crime seeing Elizabeth Lail that undressed) and jump into the “ocean” and they’re like having fun and the world glitches again and goes black.

and then the scene changes again and Jesse comes back onto stage in a suit and sits down and Tucker comes in and tries to makes a conversation and Jesse is like no i think i’m gonna go (i think this is a metaphor for jesse rejecting the simulation and chooses to not staying intertwined with Tiffany and Tucker, by proxy escaping the simulation) and Tiffany comes on in this cute blue dress and she and Tucker start flirting again.

their hair is both wet and they say that neither of them remember how they got there. and then THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING AND THEY START DANCING WITH EACH OTHER TO THE SONG. and then it fades to black and credits

I think this is implying that Tiffany and Tucker never escape the simulation???? cause they’re very much still in the simulation in the last scene while Jesse chooses to leave.

No one is gonna be reading this whole thing but holy shit I really enjoyed that. I enjoyed the plot way more than I thought I would. More importantly, Elizabeth Lail was drop dead gorgeous 🙏 and I almost died on the spot.

^^ don’t ask me what the America TikTok was about, I can’t explain it to ya JFJWJDJ actually I think it was her acting as a conservative saying that gay men are trying to steal your man from you ��💀💀 but it’s like meant to be satire dw

[idkiwasntsupposedtobebackhere]

ok so since people didn’t cut my head off for my unpopular opinions i’m gonna expand on the second one. so for people in the gilmore girls fandom it’s pretty much the general opinion that luke is a saint for taking jess in and that jess screwed things up and that it’s his fault luke kicked him out. ”he got himself kicked out”. even people who like jess seem to think this is fair. so as someone who watches gilmore girls mostly for jess i have a different perspective that i’ve never actually vocalized but i figured maybe this little corner of the internet wouldn’t hate me for this, as long as it doesn’t make it out of here.

so i also first of all think that the fact that jess has to work at luke’s and graduate in order to stay there is a bit sad. like everyone around him his age has somewhere they can stay without conditions, and people wonder why he’s the only one worried about making money. and yes, it’s a fine idea in theory, he has to change his ways if he wants to stay with luke bc that’s the point of him being there, sure, but luke could stand to NOT always bring it up to jess during fights that can’t stay with him if he violates the conditions.

bc the thing is that luke very clearly makes it known that he doesn’t want jess there and that the whole situation is kind of a pain in his ass that he’s doing out of obligation. a minor is entitled to a place to stay where they can be an asshole unconditionally, actually, and they shouldn’t have to be constantly grateful to have that. and if luke didn’t want to fully commit and be that place, he should have said no to taking jess in. you don’t get to get all the praise for doing a good deed and then get all pissy about actually following through with it.

like i know luke and jess aren’t the main characters and that their scenes and dynamic are for comedy. but then they play off jess leaving as serious so i should be allowed to analyze their scenes seriously. and my conclusion is… luke is not that nice to jess LOL. like i can’t think of a single scene where he responds to him in any other manner than pissed off or annoyed. he never stops treating him like a bad kid. we know luke cares about jess but does jess have any reason to believe that? or does he think this is all for liz? like i know their scenes are jokes but for someone who complains so much about what a difficult person jess is to connect with, i think luke missed a lot of moments to do it.

luke taking jess in in general is nice, YES, but i’m not talking about just good intentions here. and i know that it was a very good intention but i, again, just super dislike the whole ”you wouldn’t have anywhere to stay if it wasn’t for me, so watch it”-attitude. even in season 4 luke basically said that jess had to come to liz’ wedding because he was there for him when no one else was. and i think that’s a shitty thing to say to someone who deserved more. i know luke didn’t have to do it bc he’s not his parent and that’s why people forgive him and not liz, who is his parent and did have to do it. but i think luke agreed to be jess’ parent and if he didn’t want to, he could have said no to his sister for once in his life. anyways, i think i’ve made my point.

also, i love you luke, my world just revolves around your nephew. i know i’m putting a lot of unrealistic expectations on a guy who’s pretty emotionally constipated. and he did come through with the big things, like giving jess money in sesson 4. but i’m talking about the little things that could have made even more of a difference. just don’t get it twisted ok, luke and jess’ relationship is my fave on the show, i may like it even more than rory and jess’, but when i enjoy something i analyze it. so don’t think i don’t love them, because i do! i just want to squash the idea that luke did everything he could but that jess ultimately was too difficult, because i disagree with that.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Title: Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader (Sunshine)

Fandom: The Gray Man

Word Count: 2.5K

Series Summary: You lived your life on a schedule. Everything is planned out from sunrise to sunset. But what happens when you go out on a limb and out of your comfort zone? Will it have dire consequences?

Chapter Summary: You’d agreed to meet someone from the internet and you find yourself tied up in a basement. 

Warnings: dark fic!, attempted mugging, drugging, abduction, suspension bondage, Murder Daddy™️, oral sex (m receiving), dub-con, non-con, unprotected p-in-v sex, knife play, biting, blood play

A/N: I had an idea about Lloyd Hansen. Here is that idea. I haven’t written for Chris Evans’ character since Steve Rogers pre-Infinity War so this was an exercise and a half! Also, many many many thanks to @peyton-warren and @raccoon-eyed-rebel for helping me entertain Lloyd and for helping me to not lose my mind whilst writing this. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics 

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art: by me

Spotify Playlist is here. 

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

It’s just your luck, honestly.

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The place was a dark street. The time was 9:03 pm.

Well, technically you could blame your Tinder date for this. He didn’t fucking show up and he didn’t respond to your texts or calls. Like he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. You ended up waiting for an hour and decided to just pay for your third cup of coffee and leave.

Luckily for you, the buses were still running and there was a stop just across the street from the diner. You climb off your stool at the counter and exit through a particularly noisy door. It alerts some guys down the street and they turn to look at you before turning back to each other. Your sigh of relief is reversed when you get across the street and hear one of them shouting at you before moving closer.

You check the bus schedule that hangs in the bus shelter. You only have to wait for five minutes for safety. 

What could go wrong?

“Hey baby, can I have your number?” The overwhelmingly strong skunky smell of bad weed hits your nasal passage and you gag. “Oh, what? I’m disgusting to you? Stuck up, bitch!”

“Look, I’m just trying to get home. I don’t want any trouble.” Your hand went to your pocket where you had your safety keychain on your keyring.

“Too fucking bad because you just landed yourself in trouble, cunt,” Three long strides and he has you in his grip, pulling you behind the bus shelter into the empty alleyway. He pushes you onto the wet pavement and is on top of you in seconds. He watches as you open your mouth to scream and he clamps a hand around your throat, cutting you off. “Who do you think is coming for you, unlucky bi–”

“What the fuck…hey!” A voice is coming from the street and getting closer.

Your attacker is being pulled off of you and it’s so dark in the alley that you can’t fully see who grabbed him. You see a dark blur and you hear sounds of a struggle before a strong pair of hands is helping you up. 

“Are you ok, Miss?” You’re being ushered down the alley to the only lit streetlight. The more you walk under its glow, you notice the man who saved you. Your eyes are drawn to the push broom on his lip first, then to his slicked-back hair, and finally to his dramatically-patterned polo and pastel chino pants.

“Yeah, I’m fine…I think. Thanks.” You reach out your hand to touch his where it lingers on your arm. He doesn’t attempt to remove his hand, even after you squeeze it with yours quickly.

“No problem, why don’t I take you home? My car’s just around the corner here.” He does attempt to pull you towards the street. You know better than to let anyone take you to a second location, so you put your hand up with a smile.

“That’s quite alright. I’ll just wait for the bus if you don’t mind.” You try and remove your arm from his hand but his grip on you gets tighter.

“Let me at least walk you back to the bus stop?”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” You try to turn away and he pulls you closer to him.

“Why did you have to make this difficult, Sunshine?” His angry growl is quiet but no less intimidating.

“I’m sorry, wha–” You don’t get to finish as you feel a sharp prick in your bicep. Looking down, you see a syringe sticking out of your skin. You go to pull out the needle but darkness fades into your eyesight and you slip off into the void.

You awake to a pounding in your head. Your arms are sore. Your legs are numb. And you can feel the stiff presence of duct tape over your mouth. Opening your eyes, you try to raise your hand to shield your eyes from the sudden brightness but you realize your arms and legs have been immobilized.

Looking around, you see that you’re suspended about three feet above the ground in some pretty elaborate rope bindings. Your wrists are crossed against your bare chest. Your left leg is being held up straight, while your right leg is only supported by two lengths of rope on your thigh, leaving your foot to dangle which means your pussy is on full display. 

You hear a door open and two sets of footsteps walk down the stairs. As the steps get closer, you hear two voices as well. 

“...didn’t have to punch me so fucking hard!”

“Yeah? Well maybe if you didn’t have your slimy hands all over my things, I wouldn’t have had to bruise your fucking spleen. Don’t be such a pussy, Dougherty!”

 “Fuck you, Hansen.”

“Don’t be sad I have a new plaything and you don’t.”

“Yeah. Just don’t wreck this one like that last girl.”

You struggle in the ropes and try and grunt loudly through the duct tape and the metal anchor that holds the rope loudly jostles. You pick your head up and look to your right as the men come into view.

As you recognize the man who had you on the ground, you couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw the geometric-patterned polo-wearing man who tried to “save” you. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake. I know you must have a lot of questions. But, you’re gonna listen first,” He walks until he can grab onto the ropes that hold you up. Looking down at you, he smiles sweetly. He begins to swing you toward him, letting go and watching as you swing back and forth, “Now, my name is Lloyd Hansen, but you are to call me Sir. You now belong to me. From every thought you have to every step you take. I own all of it. You may be wondering why I chose you of all people. Well, it had to be you, Sunshine. You’re the one.”

You are at his mercy as his hands grope at your tits and he pinches your nipples. You turn your head to look away but he just grabs you by the chin and makes you look at him.

“Now, Sunshine, you take what Sir gives you and you are appreciative. Trust me, this will all make sense later. But for now, I think it’s time I claim what’s mine.” He stalks over to your legs, standing between them. He places a kiss on your left ankle as he grabs at your right thigh. Pulling your core flush with his clothed hardness, you can feel exactly how excited he is to own you.

“I’d hate to interrupt, but–”

“But yet, you are interrupting. What?” Lloyd says as he trails kisses down your calf, his mustache tickling you as he moves.

“Well, I just…you said you would pay me. And I don’t really wanna stay around for whatever this is, honestly.” 

Lloyd finally turns his head to the other man in the room before patting your leg, “I’ll be right back, Sunshine. Don’t you go anywhere, ok?”

Fucking asshole.

Pulling out a wad of cash from his pocket, Lloyd starts counting bills, “So what do you say to…a hundred bucks?”

“I say fuck you if you think I’m taking less than half a yard. Shit, I didn’t even get to fu–”

The pop of a gunshot cuts through not only his sentence but also his left eye. You watch as Lloyd pockets the money and turns back to you with a smile.

“Fuck, ok. I didn’t plan on shooting him in front of you. But…well, I did,” He caresses your cheek before ripping off the tape from your mouth. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, expectantly waiting for you to speak.

“What do you want from me?” Your wrists hurt from struggling against the ropes.

“Oh, Sunshine. I want everything from you…eventually. But for now, I want to use your mouth.” He unbuttons and unzips his pants, “Those fucking lips of yours look so delectable.” He traces your bottom lip with his thumb and you debate biting it. Then, you remember the dead guy in the room.

Just comply. He won’t have to hurt you if you comply.

You clear your throat to get Lloyd to look at you. “Um…S-Sir?”

“Look at you calling me Sir already like a good girl,” He beams, looking down at you and holding your face in his murderous hand, “What do you want to ask me?”

“Are you going to kill me, Sir?” You couldn’t stop the fat tears from falling as you blink up at his face. You watched as his smile fell and he crouches to bring his face to your eye level.

“I would love to tell you that I won’t kill you, Sunshine. But it really all depends on you. If you don’t give me a reason to kill you, I won’t kill you. It’s as simple as that, Sunshine.”

You feel your eyes glaze over as you thought about what Lloyd had said. You didn’t want to give him a reason to kill you. You also know that there was no one coming to save you. You had no family, no friends, no roommates. You had lived a solitary life. 

The sound of Lloyd clearing his throat brought you back to reality.

“Use my mouth, Sir.” 

No sooner does the half-sultry half-terrified sentence leave your mouth, than Lloyd is reaching into his chinos to pull out his fat dick as he walks around you. You tilt your head back and are met with his impressive package. Eight inches of veiny length in your face suddenly is a lot to handle. As he strokes himself, he makes sure to keep it just out of reach. You hate yourself for licking your lips and following his hand with your eyes.

He positions his dick slightly over your mouth and squeezes his length from base to tip so that a dribble of pre-cum hits your lips. You snake your tongue out to taste him, the salty bitter taste you expect turns out to be almost sweet. Why couldn’t he just taste terrible?

“Open up, Sunshine.” He steps closer to you as you part your lips. He doesn’t stop pushing in until you feel his balls touch your nose. You close your lips around him and breathe through your nostrils. 

Inhaling deeply, you’re hit with the familiar scent of sweetness mixed with musk—sort of Earthy. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it was African black soap. You knew the smell very well, you used the body wash every day.

“Fuuuuck, baby. Gonna fuck this throat.” He wraps his large hands around your throat as he pulls out slowly, leaving just the tip before he slams back in making you gag. 

He starts a steady rhythm and soon his balls are slapping you in the face. You can deny it all you want, but the way he fits perfectly in your mouth is obvious. The way your hands clench into fists and unclench denotes the urge to grab him and pull him deeper. 

One of his hands moves from your throat to your tits. Pinching your nipples and groping the soft flesh must not be enough because soon he is slapping at your breasts, getting you to grunt around his dick. The groan that leaves him is so sinful, you wish you could squeeze your thighs together.

But you don’t have time to worry about that because Lloyd is pulling out of your mouth. A string of saliva connects you until he steps back. You try to follow him with your mouth but he’s out of reach too soon.

“Sir?” You don’t like the air of desperation in your voice when you speak. You watch as he moves to the other end of your body and you soon feel his hand roam from your thigh to your pussy.

In one swift motion, Lloyd is inside your cunt. With the grip his hands have on your hips, you know it’s going to hurt tomorrow. But, that’s a later problem because Sir is fucking you like he hates you. You should hate this, but you don’t. At least not yet.

“Fuck, Sunshine…knew your pussy was gonna feel good but DAMN!” 

You can’t help the slew of sounds that escapes your mouth as he fucks you. The last of which sort of sounded like “Hnnnngg”. You feel as if you are going to explode at any minute but a spike of fear hits you as you think about where Lloyd is going to finish. You’re not on birth control. The speed of his thrusts picks up and you can feel him swell inside you. Fuck it.

“Sir, cum with me!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuck…” Lloyd latches onto your stretched left leg with his teeth, leaving behind deep and angry bite marks as he empties inside you. Pulling out, he watches his spend leak from you, righting his pants.

You are in a state of bliss so deep that you barely register as Lloyd bites into your right thigh enough to break the skin in a few places. But you can feel the sting of his butterfly knife as it moves over your skin.  The letters “LH” well with blood on your leg as silent fat tears roll down your face.  

“Now you can wear my bite mark like the badge of honor that it is. And when that fades, you’ll still have my initials so you can be returned to me if you are ever lost. I don’t plan on losing you, so you better not plan on getting lost, Sunshine.”

“I don’t want to get lost, Sir. I like it here with you.” The tremble in your voice doesn’t hide your fear, and part of you doesn’t want it to. You want him to know he doesn’t have to worry about losing you somehow.

“Think you can behave for a bath and a meal? I’ll have to supervise the bath, of course. And we’d be eating together. Unless you like being hungry, in your own filth with my cum dripping out of you all night. What do you say?” Lloyd offers, the fingers of one hand ghosting over his initials on your thigh.

“Would I still have to be tied up, Sir?” So many questions you could have asked, but you picked this one. 

Maybe if your hands were free, you could…do what? Fight him? Pick a lock? 

No, just comply. You can do this. 

“You won’t be tied up, but I do have a gift for you upstairs. But you can only have it if you’re a good girl. Are you gonna be a good girl, Sunshine?” While he spoke, he dragged a fingernail from your thigh to your upper torso as he walked around your body to your head.

“I’ll be a good girl for you, Sir. I promise.” The words on your tongue felt both foreign and familiar. Almost like you weren’t afraid for him to hurt you. 

You were afraid that he wouldn’t. And that scared you more than anything. 

Part II

A/N: There will be more of this. I’ve never written for Lloyd before but I enjoyed him as the little devil on my shoulder.

@raccoon-eyed-rebel @peyton-warren

If you would like to be tagged in the next installment, lemme know 🫣

[musicalmoritz]

TikTok shipping discourse is giving me a headache

So I’ve been super excited abt the recent revival of the Gravity Falls fandom because that show was a large part of my childhood. My sister and I watched it as it was coming out, I still vividly remember watching the first episode with her when it aired. It was one of my first big fandoms so I have a lot of fond memories with it (and some not-so-fond, my sister and I would always joke abt how we were just like the Pines twins so certain areas of the internet were…well, awkward to say the least)

Anyways super happy that the fandom is back but why am I seeing so much beef between Dipcifica and Mabcifica shippers??? I don’t remember there being this much discourse before, most people shipped Bill//Dip so that was the biggest rival to Dipcifica I recall seeing at the time, besides Wen//Dip. Oh and also. The other one. But usually ppl were pretty chill abt Mabcifica bcuz it went along well with the mega popular mlm pairing so like,,,even if ppl didn’t care abt them, they were content with that as a way to keep Pacifica out of the picture. There were the typical homophobes ofc but I don’t remember ppl going out of their way to hate on Mabcifica back when I was really into the fandom

This might come as a shock, but I was always Team Dipcifica. It was one of those ships I absolutely fell in love with, I read fics of them on FanFiction.Net and watched all the amvs and cosplays. I liked the idea of Dipper being the guy Pacifica could sort of run away with after escaping her toxic family because I loved her character sm and wanted good things for her. And, well, I related to Dipper a lot so there might have been some subconscious projecting going on there

So yeah, big time Dipcifica girlie but as we all know I’m also a massive multishipper and Femslash Enthusiast™️. It took me awhile to come around to Mabcifica bcuz as I was watching the show I was working through a lot of internalized homophobia, but nowadays I ship them nearly equally to Dipcifica. They are both interesting ships in their own rights with their own appeals. Pacifica was always a character in Mabel’s storylines so people shipping them romantically makes sense to me. I actually look at Mabcifica content more frequently than Dipcifica content now bcuz my main thing is sapphic ships. But if you were to ask me to pick one, I would still probably say Dipcifica

Alright now onto the current discourse. I keep seeing posts on TikTok of Dipcifica shippers explaining why they hate Mabcifica, or bashing the ship in their own edits. I also see a constant flood of comments on Mabcifica posts of ppl hating on the ship and saying Dipcifica is better. My dudes, what happened to “ship and let ship”?? Seeing all of this at the same time I’m seeing a flood of posts saying that ships don’t have to be canon or even make sense, and that ppl should let fandoms have fun, is crazy. And yes I’m gonna pull this card, it’s a little odd for people to specifically be targeting the most popular wlw ship in the fandom. “It’s toxic” mf you ship BILL//FORD

Hate whatever ships you want!! No one is forcing you to like Mabcifica. If they are then block them. But omg I thought we were trying to leave needless ship hate in the past. The ships can coexist, believe me I’m overjoyed that Dipcifica has so many canon implications but ppl are still well within their right to ship Mabcifica

I don’t even care that much abt Bill//Ford (love it and fully support it, have supported it since middle school, but I’m more of a Fidd//author girlie) but I’m glad that’s the fandom’s main focus rn, I couldn’t take it if the ONLY thing the shippers were yapping abt was which Pines sibling Pacifica should hold hands with. Another life saved by toxic yaoi

Mabcifica shippers get behind me

[jflemings]

— grave

pairing: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris can’t commit and you’ve finally had enough

warnings: drinking, angst, mentions of sex but no actual suggestive content

a/n: i know i said that a matt fic would be next but after watching chris’s interview i couldn’t shake this idea!! hurt my feelings will be the next one tho :) ALSOOO for the sake of the fic, y/n is friends with sophia birlem, halle vaneta ect <3

— I COULD NEVER MAKE YOU WANT ME LIKE I WANTED TO BE WANTED

I COULD NEVER REALLY CHANGE YOU LIKE I THOUGHT THAT I COULD

your heart dropped straight to your ass when you finished watching the clip of chris that had come across your for you page.

you had honestly been so excited for him to go on the zach sang show, having watched a few interviews yourself, and had done nothing but support and praise chris when he told you. now though, you felt stupid.

“i’m not looking for love, my goal is to meet someone and be starstruck by them” is what he has said when the topic of relationships had come up, further pushing the narrative that he wasn’t really interested in them. you were left speechless as he said that, not fully expecting him to say it the way he did and it had left your heart breaking in your chest.

you felt used and humiliated the more you watched the clip that had been posted by the fanpage. a lump had lodged itself in the base of your throat and a deep pit was achingly present in your stomach. chris had, essentially, been using you for the past six months to get what he wanted out of a relationship without actually being in one, and you had let him.

as the cogs turn in your head you begin to realise that everything the two of you did together meant nothing to him. the vulnerable conversations, the dates, the sex, all of it had been for nothing in the long run; he had just told the internet that he wasn’t in love with you. you knew chris, and his dating habits, but you had foolishly thought that maybe things were changing for him, that maybe he was beginning to feel the same way you had been feeling for far too long.

the truth was that you were in love with chris and that you had been for a little while now. he treated you with the upmost respect and kindness, always paying attention to your needs and the little things you did. he was constantly checking up on you and asking about how your day was, buying you lunch when you had to work and even getting you ‘just because’ flowers whenever he felt like it.

you just felt fucking sick.

throwing the covers off yourself, you begin to gather your things from around his room. you emptied the drawer full of your clothes he kept for you, took back your makeup wipes and spare toothbrush that was in his bathroom and stuffed it all in the overnight bag you brought with you everytime you stayed the night with him. frustrated tears pool on your waterline as you slide your shoes on and throw your bag over your shoulder, not even paying attention as your phone buzzes in your hand.

you don’t look at your illuminated screen as you walk out the door and straight to your car. you unlock it swiftly and waste no time in sliding into the driver’s seat and backing out of the driveway. you were just lucky that the triplets had all stepped out for a little while, meaning that you didn’t have to face chris and the truth just yet.

there’s no music playing through your car speakers and you still haven’t looked at your phone. the longer you sit in silence with the text message on your mind, the more tears seem to form in your eyes.

when the two of you started your ‘relationship’ chris had mentioned that he wasn’t necessarily looking for a long term thing, and that he was just enjoying his time getting to know you. at first, you were pretty accepting of this due to the fact that you felt the same way but over time, your feelings started to change.

chris was just such a gentle person in every way. he was constantly making sure you felt comfortable and okay around him, never once over stepping a boundary or putting you in an uncomfortable position. he didn’t pressure you to follow him to events or make you go out when you weren’t feeling up to it, always just brushing it off and giving you a kiss as he left, telling you to call if you needed anything.

similarly, you never made him feel like he had to hang around your friends or show you off to any degree, always trying to keep it casual and comfortable for him whenever you got the feeling you were getting too close. his commitment issues had been the topic of conversation before and you had reassured him endlessly that you didn’t expect him to step into the boyfriend role if that wasn’t what he wanted to do. he had appreciated your words but ended up ignoring them anyway as he began to give you the girlfriend treatment without you ever saying a word about it.

chris was the one who initiated a lot of the couple-y stuff. he was the one who wanted to introduce you to his friends and family, and now he was the one going on a podcast and saying how he wasn’t looking for love.

you pull up to your apartment and practically throw the car in park, your movements harsh and frustrated. with heavy eyes and a tear-stained face, you trudge to your apartment almost mindlessly, the sound of you shuffling shoes echoing on the cold ground. immediately upon unlocking and opening your apartment door, you are faced with a hoodie that chris had carelessly thrown onto the back of your couch.

after staring at the article of clothing for what felt like an eternity, your phone began to buzz repeatedly from your back pocket. the messages come one after the other, sending anxious vibrations up your spine.

you reluctantly pull the device out of your jeans and quickly sift through your notifications. one from sophia and four from chris.

soph is telling you, rather than asking, that you’re her plus one for a party tonight. she ends the message with ‘don’t ditch me for chris pls’ and you can’t help but smile bitterly. you quickly shoot her a text back confirming that you most definitely will be there tonight before going into your conversation with chris.

you can’t stop your eyes from rolling dramatically. there was no way he could know what the problem was, and you honestly didn’t expect him to, but you really didn’t have the energy for this right now. there was nothing else that could be said to try to change his mind and you were done trying.

— TABLES TURNED, NOW I’M OUT, AND YOU JUST CALLED LIKE THIRTY TIMES

ALWAYS A FUNNY THING WATCHING THE TOUGH GUY PLEAD, OH, BABY

heavy bass thumped through your chest as sophia’s hands snaked around your waist from behind you. she held you loosly whilst guiding your body with the beat, the two of you being lost in the sweaty bodies and the music.

chris had called you so many times that you’d had to turn your phone off completely. tonight was not about him, and you were not about to fall back into whatever you had with the youngest triplet after what he said.

on one hand you felt stupid for being so petty but on the other, you felt like it was deserved. you had tried your hardest to communicate though your actions that you wanted more with him, that what the two of you had was no longer enough.

you lean back onto soph and smile wide. locked out of heaven’s pre-chorus begins and soph’s grip on your waist tightens as the two of you begin to sing loudly along with the crowd

“cause your sex takes me to paradise, yeah your sex takes me to paradise!”

the two of you raise your solo cups to the ceiling in unison, halle making her way over to join you. she sways her hips along with the two of you and you turn on your heel so that the three of you are facing one another in a small circle. halle’s arms wrap around both you and sophia’s shoulders and she pulls you in along with the music.

your eyes screw shut with glee as you laugh with your friends. adrenaline and dopamine flood your brain and your body, the problems of today being momentarily forgotten the longer you scream bruno mars. you open your eyes to look at sophia, only to see chris making his way through the pool of bodies. his eyes are trained on you with relentless determination, causing you to pause. sophia and halle don’t notice until he’s right up in your space, breaking the safe circle the three of you have created.

his cologne floods your nose as he leans into your ear “we need to talk” he says sternly, his mouth pressed to the shell of your ear.

you shake your head and bring your cup up to your lips, taking a big gulp whilst looking him in the eye. he watches your throat bob as you swallow and looks into your eyes, the determination melting into pleading.

he doesn’t like your answer, and makes sure to let you know by grabbing your wrist and dragging you off the dance floor. whether it’s the alcohol or the fact that you’re just weak for chris, you don’t know, but you allow him to pull you into an empty room off to the side.

chris clicks the door shut and you slide down the wall next to the door, your eyes still trained on your drink

“y/n” he starts “what’s going on? you haven’t answered any of my texts or calls today and none of your stuff is at my place”

“i know” you slur “whoops” you respond nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders

he sighs deeply “whoops? are you kidding me? what’s going on!” his hands run over his face in annoyance at your useless response, clearly not wanting to do this with you right now.

“just let me take you home to sober up and we’ll talk, please”

you can’t help but scoff “i’m not going home chris. i’m having a good time with my friends” you spit at him, raising your cup for emphasis “and i’d rather go home with anyone else at this fucking party, at least then i’d know that they’re just using me for sex”

his jaw goes slack and his eyebrows raise in both surprise and confusion “what the fuck are you talking about”

“i’m talking about you leading me on! the least you could do is be honest with me” your words begin to slur at the end of your sentence “stupid fucking boys” you mumble, your head leaning back against the wall with a thunk.

“you’re drunk” he whispers whilst looking down at his shoes

you look at him down your nose through half-hooded eyes, the liquid courage suddenly increasing “no, i’m over you”

chris’s head snaps up suddenly, his eyes blown wide with hurt evident on his face “you don’t mean that”

“i’m done asking you to want me” you laugh bitterly “especially after you get on a fucking podcast and tell the internet that you’re not looking for love”

everything seems to click for chris in that moment. he crouches down in front of you and sits back on his haunches, his pretty blue eyes finding yours “baby…” he speaks softly to you.

tears begin to form in your eyes and you place your drink down on the floor next to you “no, chris! do you know what that felt like!?” your voice raises “what, did you only treat me like your girlfriend so i’d keep having sex with you? was that the reason you kept me around?”

venom drips from your words as you begin to shout “or was it because you KNEW how i feel? huh, chris? did i boost your ego enough that you felt like you didn’t need me anymore?”

chris’s eyes soften as he looks at you. your makeup is well and truely ruined by now, your mascara now running down your face. he opens his mouth to say something but closes it when he realises he doesn’t know what to say. your own mouth drops open in shock, a sarcastic laugh leaving your lips when you realise that he really wasn’t going to answer you.

you abruptly stand, leaving chris to fall backwards onto his hands. you look down at him with a sneer, disgust and hurt cloaking your normally soft features “so you can go on a stranger’s podcast and run your fucking mouth but you can’t defend yourself to me?”

the semi-dried tear tracks on your face are replaced by fresh ones as he still says nothing, the look of hurt never leaving his baby blue eyes.

scoffing, you pick up your drink and turn on your heel to walk out the door “fuck you christopher. you’re nothing to me”

— I WAS TRYNA MAKE US SOMETHING OUTTA NOTHING

WE WERE NOTHING AT ALL

[philsmeatylegss]

please yap about dip and pip's relationship with pj, I want to know more

FUCKING YESS!!! WHOO HOO!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY!!!

Okay so I haven’t brushed up on my PJ lore in a while, so correct me if any of this is wrong, but I’m sticking with the basics.

What gets me about their friendship is that they’ve been through it all together. Once again, correct me if I’m wrong, but him and Phil were friends before Dan started making videos, correct? It could’ve been after. Point is, he was there pre youtube era, bat shit insane era, and out era. And there’s proof they’ve stayed close through it all. I cannot imagine the pressure of maintaining a normal friendship under the circumstances they were under. I will fully admit myself I am one curious mf first thing I would ask is if they were together. And to have a bunch of 13 year olds yelling at you to do so, I can’t imagine just seeing all of that and then casually heading out to see a movie or get dinner.

I have a head cannon which I feel like I have enough reason to treat it like cannon and that’s that dnp only were close to YouTubers who didn’t care about their sexuality/relationship. You had to be there, but the 2014 british youtuber boom, dnp were making collabs with people who just were so different and it showed. And I don’t think people will understand if they weren’t there how big of a thing “phan” was. They were described usually something along the lines of “those friends with the matching hair that fans think are together.” So when you mix personalities that, to no one’s fault, just don’t blend, mix it with the pressure of five million thirteen year olds, and mix it with people who one has a lot wrong with them, that’s a really bad mixture to set up a friendship. I believe other than Louise and PJ, who dnp knew before hand (pretty sure louise, might have been at the start of their career), tyler oakley and Anthony seem to be the only creators they seemed comfortable around. I forgot why I started talking about this. Oh, the conditions in which friendship had to stand under.

I truly don’t know how to explain how insane the phandom used to be. And how widespread. As someone approaching the age they were when they started to blow up, I am amazed they didn’t leave the internet.

This whole long rant is to say that it was overwhelming to even be in the vicinity of dnp. The amount of pressure is something I truly cannot describe. And it’s hard to explain if you weren’t there, but I cannot imagine an outsider maintaining a relationship with the two of them with the pressures both within the relegation ship and outside. Because let’s also not forget Dan’s mental health and trauma was triggered every time a “phan is real” comment happened. It was truly such a chaotic time and I think the reason they didn’t have a lot of friends was because they couldn’t.

So it’s just that it must have been so fucking hard. And they must have a very close bond to have survived what their friendship endured. It was such a unique scenario to be pulled into and deciding to come along for the ride is something I find so admirable.

I also think PJ has been a part of their journey with sexuality and how public they were about being together. From what we know, Phil and PJ filmed together back when it was just millennials. To as recent as filming April Fool’s. That experience of watching that dynamic rise and fall and having to just follow and work with must’ve been crazy

If you look at a lot of the credits in dnp’s more professional videos, PJ is often in the credit and often has a big role. Really, it’s mostly the same people who dip and pip work with which gets me the most. It’s obvious they feel comfortable and genuine around him. We’ve seen behind the scenes how they discuss ideas. It’s just very relaxed, which is something dip and pip were deprived of as soon as they started blowing up. Everything had to be planned and thought through. And I think having an old friend who they were likely open to about their relationship and sexuality probably kept them sane. I do believe they are a lot closer than they put forward online and good for them. I think that’s why they’ve stayed friends for so long.

A lot of this is pure speculation. But it must be so cool to have watched your close friend go through the journey pip did, all the while being with someone he loved. But also helping them through it and helping them express themselves within their own boundaries.

That’s what I was yapping about at the start. I think the few YouTubers dip and pip remained close to Anthony, Louise, and Tyler, is because they seemed to like dan and phil because they liked dan and phil. There was no ulterior motive and they genuinely didn’t give a shit their relationship or what fans said. If I were dnp, I would have become very guarded with my emotions. But, at least from what we’ve seen, they seem very comfortable with Pj and his gf I forget her name but she’s so pretty.

When I think of friendship I think of what Peej has with dip and pip. There was so much obvious discomfort for so many years and being able to adapt to that is something special. Balancing public versus private. And just having such long history together. Once again, I’m not up to date on my lore, but I’m pretty sure Phil and Pj knew each other before Phil knew Dan. Or at least it was very close. Like they have been friends from the start. Pj was there for every stage. Every stage. And having a friend who remained neutral during it all probably really helped dip and pip not go nuts.

I truly cannot put into words how out of control the phandom was. Like I don’t even know how to phrase it. It was such a unique phenomena that I have never seen anything even close since. So it’s hard to really get across what it meant sticking with dip and pip during the height of their career, but it must have been so fucking hard on all sides.

And to just see after that chaos that they are still close, that they still film together, that they just hang out,,, I just find that very neat. And admirable. And I’m so curious to know more about it.

I’m not rereading any of this so enjoy the typos

[catmilf4life]

I wish i hated you

Matt sturniolo x fem reader

!no smut in this oneee!

!enemies to lovers!

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

I hated matt. I mean it. He always picked on me and made fun of me in school, at my house on the internet he blabbed in his ‘car videos’ about how stupid i am and blah blah blah.

Practically he was a pain in the ass. Maybe just stop talking to him? ignore him? well, I fucking can’t. I really like nick and chris, they never were mean to me or anything and if they did, it was at LEAST funny. Matt was just straight up mean.

“are you fucking kidding me matt?!” I come speed walking through the hallway. My eyes were fixated on matt and his stupid smirk. How could he do this to me! this is too far.

“matt are you an absolute child or are you just stupid and have no brains?!” I yell at him now standing right in front of him. He looks down at me with a smirk lingering onto his face. “what.” he absolutely knew why was I mad and I knew it, he just wanted to piss me off even more push me through my limits and further.

“you said to MY best friend that i fucked with her boyfriend?! how could you!“ I held back my tears as i realised he made my best friend hate me. the one and only friend i had before chris and nick.

She was with me since day one. AND that fucker had to ruin it. “i don’t think she is a real best friend if she believed me instead of you, that’s really fucked up you know?” he said with a small laugh. That laugh made me even more furious. “fuck you, don’t you dare talk to me, ever ever again.” I pushed my tears.

His pupils get bigger as if he was showing some sympathy or sum. I rolled my eyes and left their friend group alone. I didn’t have the energy to fight with him in front of his friends.

It’s afternoon and am sitting in our living room binge watching brooklyn 99 for the fourth time just trying to not think about matt and my best friend.

I didn’t really answer anyone or actually i didn’t even check my phone when i came home. I heard it ding some time to time but nothing i would care about. It’s not my best friend so i don’t give a flying fuck who texts me. I was mad at myself, mad at matt, mad at the whole world.

i was in the middle of the episode when i heard my doorbell ring. I wasn’t expecting anyone my parents were supposed to come later. I put on my bunny slippers and went to the door.

I slowly open the door just a little incase it was a killer or something like that. I peek through a small hole and see the one and only matt sturniolo on my front porch. I roll my eyes as am not in the mood to be fighting and getting laughed at. “what now matt? don’t you know when too much is too much?!” I say now with fully opened door. “i just wanna talk.” he kind of whispered. Was he scared and anxious? The Matt sturniolo being scared? “i don’t want to talk to you remember? I don’t want to talk to you Ever.” i answered now feeling angry. “please let me just talk, you just need to listen. Please.” he pleaded looking at me.

I rolled my eyes as i moved to the side so he could come inside. I leaded him to my living room automatically sitting down on the couch. He sat right next to me.

there was a few second silence. I didn’t want to speak but he wanted so here we are. “am sorry for the thing with your best friend. I know she meant a lot to you. But i can promise i can fix it and i will.” I didn’t believe one bit of his bullshit.

Maybe a bet? Is his friend recording it somewhere? I looked straight into his blue eyes. “I don’t believe you one bit. First of all you come here randomly, just to say sorry for something you did and thinking i’ll be fine? Second why would you now apologise you did so many things why this one. I call bullshit.” I answered speaking the truth. “Look, it’s true i just felt bad after i did it. I took it too far and i realised it, so i came and apologised. Simple.”

i rolled my eyes still not believing one bit of this play. “what can i do for you to believe me?” he asked me waiting for an answer. the truth was there was nothing in this god damn world that would make me believe him. So let see if he is so ‘real’ and means this whole conversation well.

“kiss me.” I reply smirking as i knew he would never put up with the play if he was supposed to kiss me. I wasn’t even his type. I smiled from ear to ear knowing I won this game. He sighed as he looked into my eyes, he looked for a clue or a hint if i meant it or if i played with him.

I closed my eyes as I laughed to myself feeling the victory and a good feeling come back to me.

Until I felt cold lips on mine. I opened my eyes as my pupils went huge. Was Matthew Bernard fucking sturniolo kissing me, his greatest enemy?

So why didn’t he pull away right after? Why didn’t I pull away after the first second i felt his lips on mine? The right question is why did I like it?

I felt butterflies in my stomach swirling around. I kiss him for a second until i pull away.

He looked at me with a smirk crawling onto his face. “you meant it?” I asked him. He nodded his head slightly feeling the embarrassment come to him.

i picked up his chin and melted to the kiss once again. It felt right. This moment felt right.

“God how i wish i hated you”

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

After watching We’re All Doomed, the comedy show by Daniel Howell, I need to take moment to write out how that show made me take a step back in my own life and evaluate progress and positive growth in my life as I realized that his timelines/feelings could be foiled in a meaningful way to my life. I was particularly inspired to write this while watching the scenes on the screen of the moments of joy people were experiencing. I swear I had chills and I started to tear up. As he spoke about not only embracing the void, but finding the courage to exist, but not just exist, but to live and find those moments of joy, I was reminded about how that moment in searching for why life was worth living was how I came (back) to Catholicism. I don’t intend this post to encourage others to or away from the Church. I simply was inspired by Dan to share how I got to a place of accepting that life is worth living and how I hope to move forward.

I want to first tw cancer, death, feelings of not wanting to exist, and mentions of suicide. Nothing is explicitly discussed in great detail but only mentioned. I have never written out my story before, barely talk about it even to this day. Tried therapy a few times but it wasn’t for me, but that’s neither here nor there. This is a safe space for me to share something I just wouldn’t with family and friends. Though, I must apologize in advance, like Dan, I talk/write way too much so this will be a very long post.

Thank you to all those who take the time to read my random story and I hope to hear from others how Dan’s story and/or show have affected you so we can share in those feelings as a community.

I am chronically depressed and anxious. Always have been as it runs in the family. However, the problem was my parents, or really, I should just say my mom because my dad was never around in an emotional capacity that mattered, didn’t necessarily believe in mental health. Sure they knew depression and anxiety were real, but those were just emotions people felt and there wasn’t anything to do but continue on and try your best to keep going no matter what. It’ll be fine, just keep moving and working, right? Well when I was 12/13 I was getting bullied really badly. It got to the point where I was having panic attacks before going to school, crying at night, constantly feeling nauseous, and worst of all, I would refuse to leave my moms side, so school got to be pretty difficult. My mom was fully aware of what was going on so she went in immediately and got the bullying handled (as much as she could, middle schoolers are brutal. It never really went away but it was less of a nuisance) but she did not understand why I still felt ill and didn’t want to leave her side. She found me a therapist and I went twice. I knew we had financial struggles and I started to feel better so I stopped going. I was still sad and scared but those were normal feelings, right? I could go to school and play my flute, talk to friends, and sure I was writing songs about being trapped in a cage and having no one hear my screams but I was just an edgy teen, I wasn’t depressed. That’s just me being me. No mental illness here! I’m fine. Spoiler alert- I was not fine and it was only going to get worse.

When I was 14 I found Dan and Phil! I was a huge o2l fan so I followed Connor Franta and he posted Internet Trivia with Dan and Phil and I absolutely fell in love with them and fell down the rabbit hole of their channels and the gaming channel. I loved them both but I definitely had a bias towards Dan because he wore all black and was edgy. Watching Existential Crisis for the first time gave me a phrase to the weird feelings I had. Both affirmed and disproved the fact I was mentally ill but I still didn’t have the words for it so I just thought I was mentally different from other people. Watching that video back with all the context of 2024 and 2024 Dan, that video covered an extraordinarily heavy topic but he never mentioned the word depression or mentally ill because, at that point, why would he? Since he was the only person who voiced those feelings that I also shared, I took them to heart, but I could only take those words to heart as I had no reference to infer what else all that meant. So I kept all my feelings to myself. After all, this guy said he had all these big feelings but was fine. Call me naïve, I was 14, so I believed I could be okay and still feel existential. It was normalized, plus nothing else in my life was being affected, I was doing well in school, I had friends, I had hobbies, I was fine. How could I complain?

A few months after the start my freshmen year of high school, my older brother was diagnosed with leukemia and everything changed. He was sick and had to stay in the hospital for months, one of my parents would always be at the hospital, and me and my little brother would visit on the weekends when we could. My mom really stressed the importance of keeping a normal schedule so we did. School, extracurriculars, piano, just keep moving and everything will be alright. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry. I had to remain okay, fine, an unbreakable force because I couldn’t have anyone worrying about me because we all had to worry about my brother. Which we did! I never wanted to be a burden or not okay because I wanted all attention and time focused on his wellbeing. I don’t remember talking to anyone about anything emotional. Sure as hell not my parents. Not my brothers. Not even my friends. So I watched videos and removed myself and all emotions from my being so I didn’t have to think or be.

When he was first diagnosed I felt lost and confused. So I did the one thing my private, catholic school taught me to do. I found God and prayed. Except, I can say certainly looking back, it was not a meaningful relationship I created. It was one forged in fear, confusion, and a misunderstanding of how to pray. Ironically, for a catholic school, they didn’t know how to teach someone to come to God, they just expected you to understand, but that’s beside the point and a different conversation. But that’s what I did! I prayed, every morning and night, Lord, Please heal my brother. Please. Tried devotionals I didn’t get, muttered words I didnt understand, and played the part. I watched everyone else around me do it so I did it too, to the point where I believed I needed to be perfect or else my prayers would fail, which, I cannot express enough, was not the appropriate mentality, but that’s what I thought was necessary.

About 7 months later, my brother was in remission and he came home! He was okay! We got through the summer, he came back to school, we were in band and choir together again. It was fun!! We were all okay again. The dark spots in my head were still there but they were probably just left over from how scary last year was. How could I not be happy with my brother back home and alright again. At this point, my prayers were answered so I slowed down my prayers. I was okay so I felt as if I did not need my relationship with God as intensely anymore because I felt fine. Plus, when I was sad or scared those were just normal reactions that were not taking over my life so why dwell on them.

In 2017, Dan released Daniel and Depression. And I don’t exactly remember my reaction. But at that point in my life, I remember coming around to the idea that maybe I was not as mentally sound as I thought. But even listening to what he had to say, I was still convinced I was not depressed, I was just traumatized from what had happened to my brother and to my family. I had spent that time living through hell and I never stopped, I did not lay in bed wallowing, I didn’t not brush my teeth or not take care of myself. I was a high functioning nearly straight a student through and through. I was not depressed.

I don’t know why that was such a dirty word for me. Or maybe it wasn’t a dirty word, but it was something I didn’t want associated with myself. My school didn’t believe in mental health because all you had to do was pray and “you can’t be depressed and be with God” - Which by the way is completely inaccurate and harmful for young people to grow up learning. On the other hand, my parents lived in a hospital with my sick brother for months, I shouldn’t be depressed or talk about the weird sadness I was experiencing after everything they went through. It’d be selfish of me to not be alright.

Two months after Dan posted his depression video, my brother got sick again, the cancer came back. I prayed fervently once again. Knowing it worked once it could work again. Every morning and every night in the depths of my dark room where no one could see or hear because everyone else in my family was not religious or was too angry at God to believe. I put it on myself to pray and to be good so he can be healed again. But I failed. He died 4 months later on my 17th birthday. Years later, a therapist would tell me that happened because he didn’t want me to forget about him, well jokes on the therapist I was never going to forget anyway. I failed, it was my fault he died. If I prayed more, if I was a better person, if I just focused I could have saved him. But I wasn’t enough, I was not good enough to save him. This wasn’t true, of course, nor how religion/prayer works. But I didn’t know what else to do or think. So I blamed myself. I wasn’t even there when he died. My parents told my little brother and I that he wasn’t ever coming home and a few days later, on my birthday, we went to school and when my dad picked us up from school he drove us home and my mom was sitting there and that’s when I knew. My little brother was so cute, he later admitted he just thought my mom had come home to see me for my birthday but I knew immediately. I still don’t know how my dad just picked us up that day and didn’t say anything.

A part of me died that day. How could it not have? It was a strange night. We cried. I ate a pre-bought cupcake. My brother went to lacrosse practice and the next day we both went to school. Because that’s just what we did. We just kept going. Let me tell you, you’ll get the strangest looks from people when they see you at school after they just heard over the loud speaker that your brother had died the previous day. Because really, what were we doing there? We were the highest functioning traumatized students you had ever seen. I was only 2 minutes late to my first class of the day, math. I went to the chapel in the school with my really close friend to cry and listen to adoration music and just wonder why, why, why? 2 minutes wasn’t too bad, the teacher was surprised to see me and I failed the math quiz we had. She was nice, she offered to not have me take it, but I was already there and it was math quiz time so I took the quiz. She let me redo it too. She was nice, I needed it. It felt normal so I felt fine.

And that was all the rest of the 2018 school year was. Fine. Went to class, studied, did my extracurriculars, performed in all the shows, hell, I even went to prom with said super close friend from earlier. It was obvious I was traumatized and sad but how could I not be? But I was doing everything a normal student would be doing so what was the problem?

The problem was I felt alone, hell, I was alone. My family was broken, shattered into a million a pieces. My dad was distant, my mom cried, my bothers and I weren’t talking in any meaningful way. I talked to one person, the guy who held me in the chapel the day after my brother died and who took me to prom. I loved him, we loved each other. He was the only person who I felt actually saw me. I always had some barriers up but I felt free with him and I know he just wanted me to be okay even in the midst of tragedy. We were friendly for 2 years but we got close right before my brother was diagnosed again. Those months meant so much to me and I thought we would always be close. But 1 month after my brother died. He told me he did not want to continue our relationship or friendship. He said I was too much to handle or had too much going on. In all honesty, I don’t remember his exact words because I most definitely mentally blacked out. And he broke what little part of me was left.

(About 2 1/2 years later he ended up calling me and after not really speaking to him at all since that moment, I picked up, more out of curiosity then trying to rekindle anything. He told me that, unbeknownst to me back in 2018, he went to our Moral Theology teacher (yes- private catholic school) to ask for advice because he saw how much pain I was in and he did not know how to help me. Instead of this teacher, a literal adult, going to our schools counselor, my mother, or even me and addressing this 17 year old boys concerns about ME, he told him that he should just give me space because of the mental weight of the tragedy I was living through. His advice to this boy was to essentially isolate me. Looking back, I do feel bad for this boy. He tried so hard to do the right thing for me but didn’t have the right directions. And on the other hand I am so mad at the teacher because that was the worst advice he could have ever given ever. Thanks! Real talk though, I loved that boy and he always meant the world to me. We didn’t keep in touch afterward that 2020 conversation but I kept tabs on him through mutual friends and he always listened to my music on Spotify. He went through a tough time and he committed suicide in 2022. I really do miss him and wish things were different for all aspects of his story, my story, and what might have been our story. It felt wrong to exclude his memory in this post because he truly played such a crucial role and he meant so much to me even years later)

Back to 2018, after he abandoned me. I was completely and utterly alone. And now, I feared opening up at all to anyone because I didn’t want to be perceived as the burden I truly was. So I swallowed every once of trauma, depression, and anxiety so I was perceived as a functioning, fine, human being who didn’t need anyone to worry about her. I didn’t want anyone to worry or care for me because they thought I was fragile or broken because I now had proof that I would become too much to handle and that anyone would just leave me just as he had. And that was it. I smiled, I laughed, I spent the next year completing every senior year milestone and graduated high school. And I didn’t feel one emotion. I was fine.

Summer 2019 was when things started to shift a bit and here’s where I think the foiling begins. For one, Dan had just released Basically, I’m Gay and he started to live his truth being out of the closet. I truly don’t want to nor feel like I can comment anymore on this topic because that was his own personal journey and I don’t want to speculate on anything he said. He did so quite clearly and explicitly. But the point I am making was that in the middle of 2019, he began living his truth. This one thing he didn’t talk about that is so quintessential to his character was now a public part of him and he got to experience that joy of being out. There was a shift in his character, anyone who watched his video could tell, he was happy, he seemed excited. He went to pride, did promotional videos, and he just seemed like he was living in a brighter light. It was beautiful to watch and I’m grateful he let us share in those moments of joy with him.

Before I get too deep into this section, I want to preface and state that I do not remember large chunks of time between 2018-2021. All the trauma and depression have made me forget nearly everything, and it’s a very weird sensation to have little to no memories of 3/4 years of time. I can recall general feelings and most memories I can see are from a third person pov so I can see what was happening, but I see it happening to me, not me actually experiencing the memory.

For me, summer 2019 meant leaving for college. Now, in hindsight, I made a major error. I was going to the same college my brother had been at before he died. I don’t know what I was thinking or why I thought it was a good idea but the school gave me money so I would have been a fool to take on more student loans than necessary, plus, I knew I wanted to transfer the next year and move half way across the country so I had an end goal in sight, just had to get through the year.

I also started to go to church again. There was a cute little church about a half mile down from my school so it was an easy walk. I don’t consider this change/new addition a mistake, but I do often wonder what was I thinking exactly. I don’t recall my exact process but remember two dueling trains of thought. For one, I still 100% felt weird about religion/God because I blamed myself for my brother dying because I wasn’t praying enough and wasn’t good enough to save him. But on the other hand, I did not feel right to never enter a church again and a part of me wanted to return because it felt like the right thing to do. I spent my entire formative years at a private catholic school. I knew all the prayers, scripture, the saints (I was confirmed taking St. Rose Philippine Duchesne), and my senior year religion class was dedicated to teaching us how to explain/teach the faith to non-believers. And I believed in all of it! I had faith, so how could I not be going to church. Call it guilt, or whatever you want to call it, but I couldn’t turn my back on the church after everything I had learned so I went back. It was the truth I believed in and the truth I wanted to live by. I told myself that eventually I would just feel better, I’d continue to pray to heal and keep going through the motions until it stuck. At this point, I had fully embraced the void I was living in. I accepted that I was depressed, I accepted that I was depressed long before the trauma began so I was battling undiagnosed depression alongside the after effects of the trauma, and I accepted that I am an incredibly anxious person. That was alot for an 18 year old to take in but I finally accepted what my truth was. I admit it and that’s the first step right? I know I am mentally ill so I started some therapy, and I continued going to church and praying because every thing I read and was told said those were the best things I could do to help myself. So things could only get better from here, right?

Not necessarily. The end of 2019 flew by and before we knew it we were in the throes of a global pandemic. Within 3 months in 2020, my parents divorced (finally), my grandmother died from the same cancer that my brother had which was sick was twisted if you ask me, and my mom, little brother, and I moved half way across the country. Oh and I transferred colleges in all that too. Besides every single bad thing we experienced, moving was supposed to be our new start. A new place, new schools, new adventures. No longer living in the state with every bad memory we had or the house we essentially grew up in. It was new and fresh, almost the perfect situation to start a mental health journey in, besides the recent trauma I still don’t think I have processed fully and a global pandemic. I just thought I would be getting better.

I remember the part of We’re All Doomed when Dan mentioned 2019 being so important because he started to live his truth and I felt so similarly. I thought once I accepted what was going on in my head I’d feel better. But then 2019-2021 for both of us seemed to be one of our worse times mentally, which is oddly terrifying because of the emphasis that was present on wanting to feel improved.

Between 2019-2021, I struggled with the concept of existing. I did not understand why I was here and others weren’t, what I was meant to do, and why I was meant to do it. I didn’t want to exist. I simply didn’t have the energy. I couldn’t conjure up emotions, nothing real anyway. I just felt nothing. I never felt suicidal, never did anything to harm myself, never wanted to. I knew and continue to know that I never wanted to die. I really just wanted to feel quiet, numb, not of the earth and those are very scary feelings. I could barely put them into words for when I talked to my therapist but I tried, but all she could tell me was to find distractions for myself. Distract, distract, distract, well that’s all I’ve been doing and I don’t feel better. I listened to music, wrote music, talked to my mom, pray, do my class work, scroll through social media, but what then? When alls said and done, the music is off, the conversation is over, the work done, the phone turned off, I was left with myself and I didn’t even recognize her. My mom said she saw a light in my eyes she hasn’t seen in a while but I had no idea what she was talking about. Whatever was on the outside wasn’t being transferred to the inside because I didn’t even know who was staring back at me in the mirror. I just knew she didn’t want to be here anymore. So what now?

When Dan showed us the calendar with the little emoji emotions over the days of the month, I swear my heart stopped for a moment because it reminded me of what I started doing for myself during that same time period, that very same year he was referring to in the show. I had downloaded this app, Hallow, it’s a catholic prayer app. Scripture, guided prayers, saints stories, the whole nine yards. I liked the little guided prayers. Helped me focus I guess. And every night I’d ask for the same thing. To feel better. To be healed. It also had a little section where you could track your mood for the day so I started doing that everyday. I wasn’t thinking too hard about it I just hit the emoji I felt and moved on. Until I started noticing a pattern of hitting, sad, anxious, worried, or unsure. Soon enough I had months upon months, just days filled with those same emojis. When I actually took a step back, just like Dan did, to stare at how my months were covered in little sad emojis it broke me more than I thought it ever could. Was this all that was left for me? Days that left me feeling dejected and dark? Why wasn’t anything I was doing enough to make me feel better, to make me feel something for my life, for this world around me. Every night pleading the same questions to God, why, why, why? Just begging to be healed.

One day in 2021, I felt hopeless, I was tired, drained, and I truly did not know what to do. I just wanted to feel. So I stopped begging God to fix me and I started talking instead. And I talked and talked about everything and nothing all at once. I told Him about my day and what had happened. I told Him about the little anecdotes, my classes, the walk I went on. I told Him what I felt during the day, the big feelings and the little feelings. As I recounted my day and all the little details, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt lighter. For the first time in a long time, I was not focused on the big scary black hole of my mind, the void, I spent time talking about what my day had looked like and what I knew was on my schedule for tomorrow. It grounded me. And it was just that. I wasn’t focused on the void, I was focused on the living I was doing despite the void and there was something beautiful about that realization I have never been able to put into words until I watched Dan’s show. God was not not healing me because I did not deserve it or because I was so helpless, for it was only when I was at my lowest that I let myself let go and speak freely outside the confines of asking for the same thing over and over again without changing my mindset. It was only through those open ended conversations that I found and was confronted with the events of my life, no matter how big or small. The void, my depression, my traumas, whatever I want to call them, they are always going to exist, they are a part of my and I can’t change anything about that. But my life, my 24 hours a day, that time will pass regardless of if I choose to dwell on the darkness or not, so might as well spend my time enjoying the light that clearly exists as well. So that is what I started to do.

It is a choice that I have to make each day when I wake up. To decide to be an active participant in my life rather than a passive bystander. But like all things, it’s an attitude that can be learned, adapted, and over time it did not feel like a chore to make that choice, but a pleasure. For once, I started to look forward to the future and excited for what I could do. I found a church where I could attend mass so I would stop sitting in my room and watching online, I started to push myself to make plans outside my comfort zone and learned to not just like my own company, but enjoy the silence of being alone. The one project I am particularly proud of is my second Instagram account dedicated to romanticizing my life. Everyday, for now nearly 2 1/2 years, I have posted a photo on that account of the places I’ve been, clothes I’ve worn, and experiences I have been on. It’s my own personal photo diary proving that I have been living and that I will be continuing to live.

Photos and daily reflection have been the cornerstone of my improvement which was why that segment of Dan’s show impacted me so greatly. Each small clip he shared was probably only a second or so long but each moment held such great joy and emotions that could not be contained. It was and will continue to be a reminder that there will always be moments of joy and moments of happiness that will exist even in the face of adversity, we just have to work to see them, and choose to accept them as our own. Some days can certainly be harder than others, but after years of feeling nothing but the heavy weight of despair, even just the memories of joy are enough to encourage me to move forward. I’m alive for a reason and I believe and trust in God’s plan for me, so I choose and, now, feel empowered to continue on.

Dan was right when he said that we are all doomed. And there is this void in my life that I have learned to embrace and not just ignore. But this life was not meant to be survived, but to be lived. And I, now, have the courage to choose to live everyday.

Thank you to @danielhowell for sharing a part of yourself with the world. For creating a show that encourages us to acknowledge every part of our lives, the good, the bad, the ugly, and to show the importance of embracing every aspect of our lives while we continue our journey. Thank you for encouraging me to share my story and my journey through mental health. I have never shared my story like this before and it has been an unbelievably cathartic experience and I feel renewed in my promise to continue to choose to live.

Thank you🖤

[ladyviserra]

The Pleasure of Victory | Daemon Targaryen

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Sister!Reader

Summary: The Targaryen prince was well enough old to be married if only he would give in to his father’s pleas and marry any girl he wished, however, Daemon would much rather take a shorter stroll to his sister’s chambers.

Warnings: incest, fighting, swordplay, swearing, smut and much more inappropriate stuff

A/n: Had this in my drafts for a while and decided it was time to let it terrify the internet lol

“ You would love to be better than I wouldn’t you? “ He loudly spoke, enough for everyone watching them to hear. She only groaned, dogging another one of his hits.

She licked her lip which was already dry from her quiet mouth, that little move didn’t go unnoticed by him, nothing slipped from his eyes. “ Are you getting tired Y/n? “ The wait for an answer stayed short, as getting no answer he moved his sword again, just to be rejected by hers. “ It’s alright, you can quit, you know? “ 

Y/n knew he was teasing, trying to distract her from his mind and let her focus on his body language and then trick her. “ I will not do so. “ She swung, not succeeding in making the metal meet.

“ You have done well, no need to excuse yourself. “ Pushing his tricks harder and harder, Daemon could feel the victory.

“ Are you scared of losing? “ His tongue clicked at the same time as swords connected. Their faces were close and while he was barely breathing, Y/n puffed out the breath she was holding, making the bits of her hair move away from her forehead. She tried to concentrate and keep her eyes on his, knowing that was how she would be the safest. “ No. “

“ No? “ They were still in the same position until Daemon tried to catch her, failing. He laughed at the seriousness she currently possessed, just waiting til he was able to surprise her. 

“ Let your big brother show you how to win, so you can try it on Viserys. “ Y/n shook her head, refusing him. “ I am trying to help out. “ She was able to dodge him once again. Her eyes glow a bit more purple, flashing distress.

“ Y/n. “ He called her making sure she was still focused. Seeing the change her eyes made, he smirked. “ Don’t be so dark, sister. “ Shoving his sword to her, catching them in the same position in which they held eye contact, only this time they were closer.

The dark look escaped Y/n’s eyes, letting Daemon catch and lead her into his trap. “ Suprise. “ His words ran to his sister’s lips since they were that close. With just one turn of the eye, Y/n looked around them, thinking people were watching, seeing no one she searched for him, only to be turned around and pinned to her brother’s chest. The moment of distraction cost her another fight, ending up in the grasp of Daemon and Dark Sister.

“ And so I win again.” He grinned at the anger he knew she felt. Rolling her eyes at the blade that stood in front of her, she warned him. “ Don’t get too cocky, if you hold metal too close to the fire it will melt. “ 

At her remark, he only smirked. “ Then I will be careful to remove it just in time. “ Holding the sword a little longer to mess with her. Letting her free, the princess quickly turned to him, chest to chest. 

She had a frown on her face, seeming to be ready to have a tantrum. “ Now, maybe next time you will be able to get the upper hand. “ He said to her cheekily, staring down at her. 

“ Next time, I will top you. “ A grody laugh danced across Daemon’s lips. “ I am sure you will, little sister. “ He said it mockingly, taking his sword and placing it by his hip. Y/n caught his arm before the sword could be fully in its place, taking his attention. “ I said, don’t get too cocky, such behaviour always gets you into trouble. “ Finishing her sentence, she left the young man to see her walk away, wondering when he will be as close to her as he was today.

--------

Prince Baelon sat with his second son, to talk with him about his least favourite topic. Marriage.

" You know Daemon, it isn't so bad. You have a wife and children with her and you will remain on Dragonstone. " He tried to interest him in the idea.

" I don't want to bring anyone to the Dragonstone. " Daemon puffed the air out.

" Must I ask for ladies to be brought before you? " The older man rubbed his forehead, he could feel the small wrinkles that started to appear. " If that shall help you, then I shall do it. "

Daemon smiled with annoyance. " Father, with all respect, no ladies you or anyone else brings will interest me. "

His father signed in defeat, realizing his approach wasn't going to work. " Must you always be this difficult to convenience? "

Daemon moved away from the room they sat in, glancing at his father with a winning look on his face. " It would be too boring to agree with you just yet. " He admitted carefully.

The talks he held with his father about his marriage, more and more reminded Daemon of his big desire. The sweet maiden he could have, but only if she wanted it herself.

He couldn't keep denying the women that were offered to him. It wasn't that he wanted them, he knew that if he didn't pick by himself, he would still be married, even forcefully if it came to it.

In that case, he decided to once and for all take a chance with Y/n, before she too was offered to some old man she will never love and only despise.

By the time he reached her chambers, he could hear her voice. She was singing. He couldn't hear the words, nor detect the melody, but he sensed it was familiar to him.

The opened door revealed a Targaryen princess dressed in her light clothing, a nightdress perhaps. She stood in the middle of the room, holding a piece of paper. Her hair was put in a weak braid, which she tossed behind her back when focusing better on the words she was reading, before humming and lightly letting quiet words leave her mouth.

" I am honoured, dear sister. That you wish to write a song for me, for my impressive skills. " He walked in, stepping the most confidently.

" Nice of you to announce yourself. " Y/n showed her face to him, still holding the same paper. " I would have believed you would remember the song our mother sang to us. " She shook the paper a little, taking her focus from it, walking closer to him.

" But I am guessing those skills don't drag the memories that far. " Y/n turned it to him, so he could read the words. He took the paper in his hand, reading through the words, glancing at them and remembering the voice of his mother while hearing them in his mind.

" I just need a sweet voice to sing it to me, so I could pull those memories back. " He folded the piece in half, before letting it lay on the bed.

When he turned his head back to his sister, a serious glance graced his features. " Will you sing for me, my dear? " Daemon's mouth spoke to her, asking a question which at any time would same easy to read, but now caused confusion.

" Sing you mama's song? " She half laughed, thinking his serious face over such a simple question was funny.

A quick slash of Alyssa Targaryen came to Daemon's mind. He knew how much their mother loved them and how if she was still alive, she would encourage him to look out for his younger sister. Even marry her if they both desired. Knowing she would approve of their desires and wishes, wanting them to fight for the happiness they craved. He felt no fear in asking, but still, hoped she would agree with him.

" It would be nice. " He truthfully admitted. " But that is not what I am asking. " Her face at this point was lost in confusion. There was no reaction to make to his behaviour that made no sense to her.

" I am asking will you sing of your love for me. " He held her hands, putting them on his chest. He laid his own on her face. " Will you sing of pleasure when I lay you on this bed? " A gasping breath squeezed out of her, quickly closing the gap. " Will you sing my name because you finally fed the hunger you felt for me? "

Y/n bit her lip, pulling it in her and then releasing it. Daemon only watched, wishing she would give him permission to wet them himself. Her eyes watched him, but in a way, he never knew they could, however, he couldn't complain, as he could sense her starvation leach out.

" I want you Daemon. " Soon enough they started feeding on each other's lips. Popping out sounds of the final end to their misery. Daemon quickly picked her up, and she wrapped around him, not wishing to separate.

Her weak braid almost completely let out, and his hands travelled around her, freeing her from her nightgown, quickly he felt the same freedom she did. It felt so warming, their embraces, so loving. As if they felt a glimpse of godly happiness, just an unbelievable moment that they never knew could be that good.

" Oh, Daemon, I want you to have me. " Her lips were smeared with his taste, when the lower one touched the higher one, she could feel the sweetness.

" I wouldn't let you get away. " He swore to her, lovingly smacking his mouth on her skin. " Please, don't. " Her face shined like rubies and her eyes like amethysts. She never dreamed of such a feeling that she felt now. That she would be loved in such a way that felt sinful, yet not wrong.

" I want to feel you. Daemon, let me feel the victory. " She begged him with the look he could never refuse. " I suppose, good brothers share. " He breathed out, letting her sit on his lap and hug him with her legs.

As they felt each other, Daemon kissed her, killing the bit of pain she felt. " It's alright. " He reassuringly nodded. " Move when you want. " He expected her to start slow, but the fire that lit in her scattered quickly.

They hugged at each other's necks, letting their groans out, almost singing them in rhythm. Their skin clapped, cheering for the pleasure that was overwhelming them. They shared breaths, knowing they felt satisfied with the sinful act they committed. The loving looks showed no regret and no care for the consequences.

" You were right, winning is really amazing. " She told him, speaking in his ear. " Winners deserve to finish on top. " Daemon smirked at her teasing remarks. " I agree, however, let me be a winner from time to time. "

" You won my hand, now you just have to take that victory before the Gods. " She smiled. " People will let us be, let's just not mention them, the final act of the proposal. " They smiled together, loving glancing at the future they saw in their loved one.

[local-pal]

Dooming about Arcane Season 2, send help.

I’m throwing this word vomit on here. I'm sorry in advance.

So, Viktor’s been my favorite League character (for lore purposes only, I don’t reeeeeally play him much) since I can remember. And I don’t know if it’s nostalgia or fear of change speaking here but I didn’t care much for his character in Arcane. 

I don’t think lore Viktor is perfect, far from it. Though his characterization has come a long way ever since he was just a silly evil communist Russian stereotype, he’s not that developed and you can kinda tell the current lore was being held back by having to fit in the already established role he had, and the canon at the time. Like him being kind of a one-dimensional asshole even before he turned into the Machine Herald—because Jayce was also an absolute asshole and assholes only really do well with one another.  His silly goal of turning all of Runeterra into machines, or whatever the writers feel the Glorious Evolution is at the time. Blitzcrank just being shoved in there. His discussion with Jayce being only glazed over. His characterization is also really inconsistent in the games. I can’t blame League of Legends because his model and voiceover are incredibly old (ASU with Arcane, maybe?), but Legends of Runeterra’s feel like the writers didn’t really read through all of his lore and kinda stuck with the old evil communist Russian robot thing a bit. Also, his role as the one enhancing the Underground’s people has kinda been replaced by both Renata Glasc and some other cards of Legends of Runeterra. He doesn’t have much left at the moment.

So a complete retcon might not be that bad? But I’m not at all hyped for the lore being replaced with the one in Arcane. The following is all speculative—Internet-friendly itemized list coming up.

1| The Marketing

Viktor wasn’t really marketed as a main character in Arcane like how Jinx, Vi, Cait, and Jayce were. Honestly, I was surprised he was even there at all when I first watched the series. He didn’t get a skin, didn’t get merch (as far as I know), didn’t get a (now discontinued) Path of Champions story, nor an icon in the game. 

As far as I can tell from the marketing for season two, this is the case again. I don’t wanna sound like I don’t like the characters, because I loved Arcane (I watched it eleven times in the first year!), but I’m not happy with the story focusing on Jinx and Vi again. I felt like their relationship was almost established, with some more screen time in season two to fully cement the way the writers wanted it to go. Like there isn’t much to do unless they want to kill or redeem Jinx, at least from what I can see. I really hope I’m wrong and they do something more interesting with her, though I could not imagine why. 

So, does the marketing imply that the story is not gonna focus on him? I would be extremely disappointed. I think his character is the best to focus on the political themes on Arcane, but I’m not a writer.

2| The Season Is The Same Length As The First One

I don’t feel like there’s enough time in a six-hour show to tackle this as a main plot point and Viktor’s transformation into the Machine Herald; and they said this was the finale. And I honestly fully expected it to be the story of season two. 

Do I sound entitled? I feel like I might come off entitled. Maybe I do feel entitled.

Viktor’s (and by extension, Jayce’s) was always one of the most interesting stories League had for in my opinion. Not much of the Piltover and Zaun lore tackles any themes quite like his, as superficial as they might be. At least it kinda tries to say something about transhumanism and how people from oppressed groups have to try much harder than those from privileged ones (by pointing out the difference in Viktor’s and Jayce's attitude towards work, and both of their origins and perception by outsiders.) This is kinda what Arcane is trying to convey for much of its runtime as well, so it seemed like a good fit.

I highly doubt that’s gonna happen now. At most, they show the beginning of his life as the Machine Herald, but I honestly don’t think we’re getting much of what comes after—things like the work he does in the Undercity, his cult, all of the rumors, a deep look into his philosophy, Jayce’s feelings about his transformation. It seems like there’s not enough time. And I’m not even getting into my issues with his characterization in Arcane. So I guess it’s time for…

3| The Hexcore: Oh my God. Please don’t do this to me, Arcane.

They are sooooooooooo gonna make the Hexcore corrupt him and turn him insane. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am. Please let me be wrong. Please let him become radicalized (by the war?) and let all of his further development come from him and not from an entity that’s making him insane. That would make his entire character so easy to dismiss by the story. “Oh, he’s just insane now.”, “Oh, the Hexcore is putting all of its ideas on his head, this is not really him.” (Remember how it’s implied that it’s alive and it learns?)

I think I was always interested in thinking how could this philosophy (the Glorious Evolution) sprout from a somewhat normal person, albeit one under a lot of emotional distress over his banishment from Piltover. How much is it his actual ideology and how much has it been distorted by rumors or so? Because he seemed fairly reasonable in his color story. It seemed interesting to explore—something like the actual man, Viktor; and the legend, the Machine Herald. He even has a cult, come on. 

For what it’s worth, I’ve been dooming about this ever since the third act came out. I thought killing Sky was gonna be a turning point of some sort. I don’t know, I kinda deluded myself while I was watching. I was like, okay, THIS is the beginning of the Machine Herald! But I’m hazy on how act three Viktor is gonna come to similar conclusions to those of the Machine Herald himself. Which is why I’m scared they are gonna take the easy way out and make the Hexcore speak to him. This has been very exacerbated by being told that Arcane is canon now. And I’m sure they’d said they wouldn’t do that. I don’t know what I expected from Riot and how they manage the story. 

I hope I’m so wrong that I’m gonna look back at this and laugh myself to tears at how pessimistic I was being. He did look a little bit evil while confronting the council.

4| Jayce.

Contrasting what I feel about Viktor’s character, I think Jayce’s characterization in Arcane is superb. He might be my favorite character? Though they kinda took lore Viktor’s story and stole it from him. (A bit of a tangent, but if we’re lucky we get some parallelism if Viktor is ever exiled from Piltover without Jayce defending him. Kind of a “he did it for you but you won’t do it for him” kinda way, even when both had a lot to sacrifice. That would be fucking cool.)

I guess I’m worried about his willingness to use weird-ass magic to enhance people, unlike lore Jayce. Where is the Divorce Arc going to come from? Using Hextech as weapons? Are they not gonna present an opposing view of transhumanism? Everyone except Heimer seemed pretty on board, to be honest. And that might change with him getting to see other sides of the Undercity, so I don’t even know.

It kinda feels like they swapped their stories and viewpoints. In Arcane, Viktor is the one to oppose progress by wanting to destroy the Hexcore because it took a life. Though it might be just the guilt of the moment. My Viktor would never oppose progress for something as insignificant as that, come on! (/hf)

They BETTER give me toxic yaoi, too.

5| The Rest of the Lore.

So, are they gonna re-write everything? Jayce and Viktor being the ones pioneering Hextech has so many branching consequences for the lore at large. What happens with Camille? How fast is Hextech gonna develop? Noxus getting involved in the war between Piltover and the Undercity? Where does Swain fit in all of that, or is he not contemporary to these characters? They mentioned building Piltover specifically to flee the unyielding reign of mages; are they gonna elaborate on that? Are the Rune Wars going to be relevant like Heimerdinger said? 

The good thing about Arcane being self-contained used to be that nobody had to think about what they were retroactively changing. This is going to be a clusterfuck.

[ladylooch]

oooh for blurb night (and if you've blurbed something like this already feel free to ignore!!) does lexi ever get subjected to any nastiness on social media or even in person? some of these fans take it a little too far, as we've all seen 😬

!!!!!!!!!! We have not talked about this yet. We talked about this with Emma. But we all know Lexi gets it and it’s bad. Nico does his best to protect her, but there is only so much he can do.

Lexi is unusually quiet tonight. At first, Nico didn’t think anything of it. She has been struggling since she quit her job, feeling like a “useless sack of potatoes” (her words) while flipping through various comedy shows trying to get a laugh. The truth is, she’s still grieving the loss of her special patient, and it’s going to take a long time until she moves through the process.

But this quiet tonight also comes with a distance that doesn’t sit well with Nico. He thinks of that as he wipes his hands off on the kitchen towel after finishing washing the knives from dinner. Then, he moves around the island to stand by her head in the living room.

“I’m gonna watch some film, unless you want to catch another episode of Gilmore Girls?” Nico asks, tugging her pony tail where it flops over the arm of the couch. She shakes her head no without looking at him. Nico sighs, coming around to squat in front of her. He examines her face, pursing his lips in sadness at how hollow her gaze looks. “Baby, I’m worried about you. What’s up?” 

“Why are you with me?” Nico blinks back at her in surprise. He did not expect that question.

“What?”

“Why are you with me?”

“There are a million reasons. But if I had to sum it up in a sentence or two, it’s because you’re the best person I know and I can’t live without you.”

“You could do so much better.” She whispers as tears fill her eyes. Nico lowers his eyebrows in confusion. This is not like her.

“Lex, what is going on?” Nico scoots her over until her back presses into the large cushions fully. She begins to sob, hiding her face as Nico curls her into his chest. 

“People are being so mean to me on social media. And I can take it, Neeks. I can take so much if it means that I get to have you forever, but they’re going to a whole new level that I just… don’t.. know how to deal with.” She begins to sob harder. 

“Baby, I am going to fix this. Tell me what happened. I’ll take care of it.”

“How? Are you going to shut down the internet for me?”

“I fucking will if I have to, yeah.” This gets her to smile through her tears. Damn does he love her. He would go find every serve in the world and rip the cords out himself if it meant she wouldn’t cry like this because people were mean to her. Because of him. They attack her because he loves her. How unfair is that?

“Someone DMed me on Instagram asking if I knew how unworthy of you I was….” She sighs afterwards, tugging at the drawstring of his sweatshirt. “Like how do you get out of bed with so much ugly audacity?” She repeats.

“But you know that isn’t true.” He strokes her wet cheek, then tilts her chin back so she looks into his eyes again. 

“Yeah… I mean, for the most part. But, sometimes…. I’m just not sure.” 

“Oh Lex.” He breathes out a heavy breath, feeling his heart break. “Am I doing something wrong that makes you feel like that?”

“No! God, no, Nico you are… perfect. But, they get into my head… and I’ve been in such a bad place.” 

“I wanna fix this for you. Wanna soothe every crack and hurt in your heart, baby.” He kisses her lips desperately as he says it.

“You can’t.” She eases the burden for him. 

“What can I do?” Lexi contemplates, slowly blinking, really contemplating what she needs from her boyfriend right now. 

“Maybe you could take over my social media accounts and change the passwords, so I can’t login right now? I shouldn’t be on anything. Not until I heal. I can’t seem to hold myself accountable to that commitment.”

“Done. What else?” 

“Hold me. All night… until we are tired lumps, melded together with no ending.” Nico chuckles. 

“Okay. Here or in bed?”

“Bed.” It’s a heavenly sigh that tells Nico he’s getting lucky tonight.

After Lexi falls asleep, Nico maneuvers his arms around her and pulls her phone up. He makes a list of all the people sending her awful messages and blocks them, then he logs into his account and blocks them on his as well, across all social medical platforms until all that is left is praise, love, and appreciation for his beautiful girl.

Nobody makes his girl feel like not enough. Nobody.

And if this continues, this Devil is going to unleash hell.