#the last good version of him was a decade ago okay

[spider-xan]

Sorry to my followers who are going to have to put up with me writing a million random posts about my blorbo over the next while, tempered only by the fact that I have so many thoughts idk where to start lol

[takerfoxx]

I'm so fucking confused what did the Rock do

It's a very long and complicated tale, but the short version, the Rock recently joined the board of directors for TKO (WWE's parent company) and SEEMINGLY (as we don't know the full behind the scenes story just yet) used his clout to push himself into the Wrestlemania main event, challenging his sort of cousin Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship and pushing aside Cody Rhodes, the guy that was supposed to be Roman's challenger, and thereby sabotaging a two-year story that everyone was invested in right when it was about to see it's conclusion. And people are pissed about it.

That's the short version. Here is the loooooonnnnnggggg version.

WWE has been plagued by a number of issues over the years (not the least being that it's been run by an actual rapist for the last four decades), but the two relevant issues is a tendency to rely on past their prime stars of yesterday at the expense of building new stars for today, and when they do want to build a new star, they have a bad habit of shoving their chosen golden boy down everyone's throat to everyone else's detriment in a nakedly inauthentic manner until the fans get sick of them (see: Ultimate Warrior, John Cena, and, most recently, Roman Reigns, who will become important later). Needless to say, they've had a lot of trouble getting the crowd behind what is known as the White Meat Babyface, or primary good guy.

The Rock started off as the latter, being introduced as Rocky Maivia, who was a wholesome good boy who was just so happy to be here. People saw through it and booed the fuck out of him. In rare case of the WWE actually listening and responding, they turned Rocky heel and let him vent his frustrations at the fans, which let everyone know that, holy shit, this guy is actually insanely charismatic and probably the best trash talker in the business! Thus, the Rock was born.

However, while he certainly earned his accolades during his heyday, his returns since haven't been so universally admired (see previous note about the WWE pushing the stars of yesterday). One instance about ten years ago involves him main eventing Wrestlemania against John Cena over CM Punk, who was the reigning WWE Champion at the time, and was quite annoyed. Okay, the Rock vs. John Cena could be excused on account of being that much of a dream match, but then they had CM Punk end his year long title run to the Rock so he and Cena could main event again, this time with the title on the line. This was one of the many issues that reportedly led to CM Punk walking out a few months later.

Now, let's move away from the Rock for a bit and talk about Roman Reigns, who was another example of the WWE ramming their chosen golden boy down everyone's throat. Like the Rock, he is part of the venerated Anoa'i Family, who are practically wrestling royalty with how many superstars they've produced (though they're not actually related by blood, but that doesn't matter, as those who marry or are adopted in are still considered full members of the clan).

Roman began as part of the massively popular trio known as the Shield, alongside Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose. And during their two year run, the Shield were kind of incredibly awesome. Three badasses closer than brothers just wrecking a path of destruction against all those who stood in their way, a perfect combination of violence and genuine comradery...right until Seth Rollins betrayed the group and they all became single stars.

Now, despite the WWE having high hopes for all three, Roman was clearly the anointed heir, despite being the least experienced of the three. Unfortunately, they went about this by making him essentially a John Cena clone. Smelling another corporate babyface about to be shoved down their throats, the fans turned on him and turned on him HARD, making him the most loathed face in wrestling for years despite always being treated by the company as a beloved hero. Finally, the decision was made to turn Roman Reigns heel, unleashing his dark side and turning him into the Tribal Chief, a sadistic and manipulative monster who's held an iron grip on the title for literally years. Needless to say, it has been a massive improvement, and he is now quite awesome (though people are sick of how long he's been champion, but that's neither here nor there).

Anyway, heel Roman has been champion for basically forever at this point, and it's been a question of who will eventually be the one to dethrone him, because whoever it is automatically becomes the biggest star in the business. And given what an accomplishment that is, there really can be no place it can happen other than the main event of Wrestlemania.

Enter Cody Rhodes.

Like Roman and the Rock, Cody also comes from a prestigious wrestling family. Cody is the son of the late, great Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream. And this pedigree has weighed heavily on him, both in and out of storyline.

Now, unlike his plain-looking and tubby father, Cody looks like he was grown in a lab to become the perfect WWE wrestler. Movie star looks, an absolutely ripped body, and physical charisma for days. Despite this, his first WWE run didn't go how he wanted. While he saw a fair amount of success, he never seemed to break out of the midcard and was eventually saddled with the loathed Stardust gimmick, which he absolutely hated, and after realizing that things weren't going to change, he decided to bet on himself and leave the WWE to prove everyone wrong.

This ended up working beyond anyone's wildest dreams.

To say that Cody was successful post WWE would be a gross understatement. Rebranding himself as the American Nightmare, Cody became the opposite of everything his father was, dressing in snappy suits and carrying himself in an arrogant, sadistic manner. He worked for a number of places, from TNA to Ring of Honor to New Japan, and saw massive success, winning multiple titles across multiple promotions and building himself as a force to be reckoned with. He was also the impetus for the historically significant All In event, in which a number of wrestlers from a number of different promotions banded together to put on the first non-WWE show to have over ten thousand people in attendance in over twenty years, which eventually led to the creation of AEW, which Cody was an intrinsic part of as well. Needless to say, Cody was cooking.

Unfortunately, his own way of doing things didn't mesh well with the AEW audience, and they turned on him pretty hard after a year or two. Eventually he left to return to the WWE, and a lot of people questioned if he was making a mistake, given how he was treated the last time.

However, his gamble had paid off. His worth had been proved, and now WWE was all in (pun intended) on Cody Rhodes. In contrast to the volatile AEW crowd, the WWE fans welcomed the prodigal son back with open arms. And surprising all cynics (including myself), this love continued strong even after the novelty of Cody Rhodes back wore off, probably bolstered by how carefully his storylines were plotted, some truly killer performances in the ring, and the respect garner by him being an absolutely fucking champ and wrestling Seth Rollins in a Hell in a Cell match despite having a horribly torn pec.

Finally, the WWE had a White Meat babyface that the fans universally accepted and wanted to see more of, and they were going to capitalize. He won the Royal Rumble to rapturous applause and entered in a program with Roman Reigns to challenge him for his title at Wrestlemania. And unlike other challengers, he actually seemed like a credible threat. Much was made about how his father had also challenged for the same title but could never capture it, so he wanted to do what his father couldn't and finish the story. People were behind Cody all the way, and the time seemed right for Roman to finally fall and a new top star to be crowned.

And then Cody lost. Roman cheated, and Cody lost.

Needless to say, people were pissed. However, others said that maybe this was leading to a rematch at the following year's Wrestlemania, making his eventual victory all the sweeter. Certainly, WWE still seemed behind Cody, as he spent the next year in several high profile feuds that kept him looking strong, including going over Brock Lesnar of all people. And again, the fans remained behind him, when in past cases they would have turned on the guy by now. Believe me, this hadn't happened in a very long time.

But not all was well. There were rumbles that the Rock might be queuing up for a return one of these days, possibly to finally face Roman Reigns in another dream match to settle who the true Tribal Chief of the Anoa's family. People had been wanting that match for years, but for it to happen now, upsetting Cody's chance to finally finish his story? Well, that was the worst possible time. However, these rumors seemed to be nothing more than that. Just rumors.

And then CM Punk came back.

Now, Punk is a whole can of worms all in himself, and could easily fill a full post of his own. But the important thing is that he and Cody are very much dark reflections of each other, especially in how both were screwed over by WWE during their first runs, left under dark circumstances, and returned to the fans' adoration. And they both coveted that Wrestlemania main event.

In fact, during an awesome promo battle between the two, Punk specifically pointed out that he intended to do to Cody what the Rock had done to him ten years ago: be that bigger star who came back after not being around for a long time and take that Wrestlemania main event away. And sure enough, during the Royal Rumble, the final two in the ring were CM Punk and Cody Rhodes.

And Cody won. The first man in years to win back to back Rumbles. He singled out Roman Reigns as his target, cementing their Wrestlemania rematch. As for Punk, he had a main event of his own, as he was apparently scheduled to face Seth Rollins for the World Heavyweight Title at night 1 of Wrestlemania. It seemed that both of the prodigal sons were getting their wish!

And then CM Punk got hurt really bad and had to pull out of Wrestlemania.

Well, that sucks, but it shouldn't upset plans too badly. Seth could just wrestle someone else, and Cody's two year story could proceed like everyone wanted.

Well, we all know what happened next.

Yup. It happened. The Rock, likely with the backing of his new position on the TKO's board, had pushed himself into Cody's spot, while Cody (as it appears) will be replacing Punk to take on Seth Rollins instead. A two year story, flushed down the drain. Punk's words had turned out to be prophetic.

And while the fans were cheering in that video, once the buzz had worn off and people realized what had happened, that's when things got nasty. Over the last few days, people have turned on the Rock and turned on him HARD. Rocky sucks chants fill WWE events, #wewantcody trends for days, videos of the Rock get booed, and (unfortunately) even members of his family have gotten caught in the crossfire. People are NOT happy about this direction. Cody is their guy, and right when his story was going to be completed, right when Roman was going to be dethroned by the guy that everyone wanted to see beat him, this happens.

Plus, since then reports have been swirling that this decision was made by the TKO board, not WWE, with the Rock specifically pushing for it to "Save Wrestlemania." Which hasn't exactly warmed people to the idea.

Which is really funny, because the last time Roman Reigns and the Rock shared a ring together, it was in the middle of Roman's disastrous babyface run where the fans hated him, especially in Philadelphia, a city noted for its rebellious fans, and the WWE sent the Rock out to help Roman in hopes of changing their minds.

It didn't work.

And where is Wrestlemania this year? Oh right, Philadelphia.

This is going to be...interesting, to say the least.

[watchmegetobsessed]

JUST HOW FAST THE NIGHT CHANGES (part 2)

A/N: okay okay part 2! here we are!! my progress about the story is not as fast as i would like it but im trying my best!! feedback is always appreciated!

PAIRING: Harry x High-School-Best-Friend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry has thought of seeing you again so many times in the past months, he imagined this moment when he lied in bed, counting the days until he meets you again after all this time, but seeing you in real life is nothing like his daydreams. 

You’ve changed so much, yet he can see the version of you he last saw clearly too. Your facial features have matured, your hair is longer than he was expecting, though he only saw pictures of you from the past years. You have a black wrap-around dress on that’s hugging your curves that look absolutely delicious. 

It’s pretty obvious you’ve put on some weight and judging from the way you nervously keep fixing your dress every other second, it’s something you feel insecure about, but Harry cannot take his eyes off you and he forces himself to tame his already wandering thoughts. 

“Dude, close your mouth!” Beckham walks up to Harry, patting his shoulder to snap him out of his trance. 

“Shut up,” he mumbles under his breath, averting his eyes from you, but it only takes a few seconds before his gaze returns.

“Go say hi,” Beckham encourages him, but he shakes his head no.

“Later. I don’t… I don’t think I’m the person she wants to see the most.”

Beckham laughs as he walks away with his beer while Harry returns to his seat that’s not as close to yours as he would want it to be, but at least you’re on opposite sides, so he can keep an eye on you as the dinner finally starts. He can faintly hear your voice over the chatter every time you speak up or laugh at something and he wishes he was part of the conversation as well, sitting next to you instead of sneakily stealing glances.

Sometime after the main course and before the dessert it’s suggested that everyone say a short little summary of what happened to them in the past decade, and the round starts, everyone curiously listening to what their old pals are saying. 

“Um, hi,” Harry chuckles awkwardly when it’s his turn. “Well, I’ve had a pretty busy couple of years,” he grins, making everyone laugh. “I don’t know what I can say that you can’t read online, but let’s pretend you know nothing. So I just published my third solo album not long ago, I’ve been really enjoying experimenting with music on my own, though I loved my time in the band as well. I’m working on new stuff lately and I still have part of the tour coming up. I’m doing good, it’s all good,” he nods to himself before smiling around and giving the word to the next person. 

While he is interested in what everyone has to say, he is mostly looking forward to your turn finally so he can shamelessly stare at you while you talk.

“Hi everyone,” you smile nervously around, squaring your shoulders as attention turns to you. “Um, I don’t really know where to start. I started marketing at college, but I didn’t really like it and I was learning coding at the time so I thought I would start a career in that field. I went to an intense training so now I mostly make websites, but I do other stuff too. Um… I live here in London as most of us do now,” she chuckles, the class sharing her smile. “Nothing… Nothing else to share, really,” she adds in a mumble and looks to her right, signaling that she is done talking, it’s time for the next person.

It wasn’t enough. Harry wants to know more, everything if that’s possible and if it wasn’t for all the people around him, he would stand up and just sit beside you, asking you dozens of questions.

But he has to sit and wait patiently, pretend like you’re not the only one he is interested in the bunch. 

An entire hour passes by before he sees you slip away from the table and out to the back patio. Part of him tells him he shouldn’t follow you, but he just can’t stop himself. He excuses himself from the conversation and heads after you, hoping no one will notice him missing inside.

In the summer time there are tables outside as well with fairy lights creating a cozy mood, but it’s too cold right now to sit outside, so it’s only used by smokers occasionally. When Harry steps out as he slips into his coat he spots you right away in the corner, scrolling on your phone as you’re probably having a break. Even when you were younger, you often told him your social batteries easily run out and those were the times Harry gladly sat outside with you until you felt comfortable enough to go back inside. Seems like not much has changed. 

“Hey,” he breathes out and watches your eyes widen when you realize he came after you.

“H-Hi!” you clear your throat, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

“Having a social break?” he smiles warmly, standing only a few feet away from you.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

There’s a bit of a pause where you’re not too sure how to act with Harry right next to you and he is stunned as well. There’s so much he wants to say and do, but he doesn’t know how you’d react. He doesn’t know about a lot of things when it comes to you but he is determined to change that. 

“So… how have you been?” he asks at last, the ure to speak up taking over the silence.

“Um, I’m fine. Fine, yeah,” you nod. 

“Do you still work at that civil organization, or…?”

“You know I worked there?” you ask, the surprise is pretty apparent on your face. 

“Of course,” he smiles softly, a blush tinting his cheeks. 

“Uh, I’m not there anymore. I work for a bigger company.”

“But still in marketing?”

“Yes,” you nod. “I can do more designing here on the side, that’s why I switched.”

“You like it?”

“It’s good. But work is work, you know, I was never the kind to be obsessed with my job.”

As you say that you realize he can’t know that, because you weren’t talking by the time you started working. It brings the awkwardness right back and he knows he needs to address some things before moving on.

“Y/N, I hope you know I didn’t… I didn’t want us to eventually stop talking. It’s just that so much happened, all at once and I didn’t take all of it the best way either. I should have focused more on my oldest friendships. I’m sorry, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

“It’s fine,” you shake your head with a weak smile. “People have fallouts all the time, it’s natural.”

But it wasn’t supposed to happen to us, Harry wants to say, but he bites his tongue. He shouldn’t bring everything up the first time you see each other.

“But we could start again,” he suggests, holding his breath as he watches your reaction to his words.

“Start again?”

“Yeah. I would… love to catch up with you, hear about everything I missed. Only if you want to tell me about it, of course.”

You stare back at him for way longer than he would have loved it and it convinces him it’s the part where you tell him to fuck off. He wouldn’t be surprised, you haven’t talked in ages and now he is so desperate to reconnect. You have every right not to want him back in your life even if you never had a fight that resulted in the fallout.

He is about to take back what he said, but you finally speak up.

“Okay,” is all you say with a tiny nod. 

He’s shocked, to say the least, even though he was hoping you’d say that. But seeing that small smile on your face is all he needs right now.

“Cool,” he breathes out. The door behind him opens and another guest walks out to have a smoke, making them realize they should probably return to the table. “Look, if you’re free sometime soon, I’m staying until the end of the month. We could have lunch, dinner or even breakfast,” he chuckles. “I would love to see you again and talk. Just the two of us.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

“Cool! Great!” he enthuses, probably more excited than he should be, but it doesn’t matter.

The two of you return to the table soon, no one really noticed that you slipped away, but it leaves Harry with a silly smile on his face that widens every time he looks at you again. Suddenly, he feels like a teenager all over again, he is in that basement with his best mates, just having fun, looking forward to spending some time alone with you.

Your bike rides home together were always his favorites, even the ones when you didn’t exchange a single word. He just loved seeing you by his side, the way you always squinted your eyes when the wind blew harder than usual, how you always checked back at him if he was behind you whenever you were about to cross a road. These are all tiny things that are etched into his memories probably forever.

Sometime towards the end of the evening Bee gathers your little group and asks to talk to you outside. You stand in a circle, everyone eyeing her suspiciously as she tries to hold her smile back, Lucas standing right behind her.

“So, there is something that we would like to share with you guys,” Bee starts and without any time to waste, she pulls out a ring from her pocket and slips it on her finger, holding it up, her grins stretching from ear to ear.

“Oh my God!” Chloe gasps as she realizes what it means. “Congratulations!”

It’s a shock, but not really. Bee and Lucas became an official item sometime before graduation, had a short break during college since Lucas studied abroad and long distance took a toll on them, but they found their way back not long after. Engagement was definitely the next step after they moved together three years ago and adopted a dog just last year.

But still, it’s shocking for Harry to see his old pals move on in life together. There’s a pang of jealousy in him too, but it’s overruled by the happiness.

There’s a round of hugs and congratulations before Bee reaches for her purse and pulls out a stack of envelopes.

“We want to invite you all to the wedding that’s gonna be held in June. You guys have been here from the start and it only feels right if you’re there with us on our big day.”

“Man, I might even start crying!” Joshua jokes, but Harry can see the shimmer in his eyes as he takes his invitation.

“Don’t get too mushy,” Lucas chuckles, patting his shoulder. 

Chloe is already talking Bee’s ears off about the wedding and offers to help with basically anything, while you’re examining the invitation card with a soft smile on your lips.

Harry’s excitement runs even higher when he realizes it’s gonna be another occasion where he’ll see you, though he plans to meet a few more times until June.

The night stretches long, it’s way past midnight when the last guests get ready to leave. Harry has been keeping an eye on you all evening in case you wanted to slip out, but you stayed until the end and he doesn’t hesitate to take this opportunity.

“Do you have a ride home?” he asks, when you’re putting your coat on.

“Um, I’ll just call an Uber or something.”

“We can share, I already called one.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

In front of the building everyone says their goodbye, heading their own way and you are left alone with Harry on the curb as the car pulls up.

“So when will you be free for that breakfast slash lunch slash dinner?” he asks, not wanting to miss the chance to see you again.

“I have to check my work schedule, but… I’ll text you, okay?” “Promise?” he arches his eyebrows.

“I promise.”

“Okay. Just so you know, if you ghost me I will come for you.”

“So you’re that desperate?” you chuckle and he just shrugs with a smirk.

“I’m just eager to start over and reconnect with you.”

“I’ll text you, don’t worry. My days are just… a bit hectic lately.”

He wants to ask you about it, would be even better if you just opened up about whatever it is that’s happening in your life, but he’s fine with what he got as well. He doesn’t want to be greedy. 

You make some small talk on the way to your place and when the car comes to a stop Harry is already looking forward to seeing you again. 

“Don’t forget about texting me!” he reminds you again, to which you exhale sharply.

“I actually keep my promises, Harry. Goodnight,” you say before hopping out of the car, leaving him too stunned to speak and the car drives away before he could even react. 

It was like a stab in his chest, your words ring in his head all the way until he arrives home and even after that. 

He pushed too hard. He wanted too much. His nagging was supposed to be just a joke, but apparently, he should have been more careful, because your reaction was sharp and painful. But he deserved it, he knows, because what you said… that was a reminder that he fucked up and he can’t just start all over again so quick and easily.

He wants to go back in time and take the words back, everything was going so well up until that point and now it feels like a setback. While in the shower he is composing a text to apologize for overstepping your boundaries and he is just about to type it out when his phone rings, your name on display. 

“Hi!” he answers, shocked to receive a call from you but also thankful that he can apologize.

“Hey.” Your voice is weak, but a lot lighter than it was in the car when you parted ways. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he shakes his head, sitting on the edge of the bed and he wishes he could talk to you in person, see your face.

“It was rude. You’ve been so nice all evening, even asking to reconnect and I was… I was an asshole,” you sigh and he can imagine you closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I kinda deserved it. It’s been long, Y/N, I shouldn’t have expected to just go back to being best friends. I pushed too hard, so if anyone has to be sorry, it should be me.”

There’s a long pause at your end of the call, Harry is dreading to hear your voice and make sure he didn’t fucked up royally.

“I’ve been kind of… moody lately. I should think about my words before talking.”

“Do you… want to talk about it?” he asks, but then realizes that it might be over the line too. “Only if you want to, you don’t have to share anything with me, I totally understand it.”

“Maybe some other time,” you quietly answer and Harry swallows down his greed to know more. “But… I’m free on Friday,” you add and his heart skips a beat.

“Friday is awesome!” he answers without even thinking through his schedule. If he has anything that day, he’ll surely cancel, nothing can be more important than meeting you again. “We could go out for dinner?”

“Can we… Is it possible not to go out?”

“Yeah,” he nods, though his chest tightens. Does this mean you don’t want to be seen out with him? He wouldn’t blame you, it would put you in the spotlight instantly. “Want to come over? I could cook something.”

“That sounds good. See you on Friday, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he manages to say before the call ends.

A week has never felt longer. Every waking moment was spent by counting the days until Harry could finally see you again. He planned out the whole evening the day after the reunion, from the meal to the outfit he would wear, he knew it all by Monday rolled around so he had to spend five days anxiously waiting for Friday. 

On Wednesday he has a few drinks with just the boys, Joshua, Beckham and Lucas, cheering on Lucas’ engagement and having some boytalk. Even though they kept in touch throughout the years, there’s still a lot to share. They are having a great time, lots of laughs and jokes are shared over their beer.

“Alright, I want to talk about something major,” Joshua smirks over his pint, his eyes finding Harry and he already knows it’s gonna be about you.

“Just ask it,” Harry chuckles.

“Can we talk about how you had the heart eyes for Y/N all evening at the reunion?”

“Like a lovesick puppy!” Beckham laughs, patting Harry on the back as he puts up with the teasing.

“It was nice seeing her again, what can I say?” Harry shrugs, but he can’t hold his smirk up, which earns another round of laughter from his friends.

“Oh, it was more than just nice, right?” Lucas grins with a knowing smirk.

“We shouldn’t be surprised though, you were so in love with her back then,” Beck scoffs as he leans back in his seat, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not in love, I was just…” Harry tries to explain himself, but fails.

“Just in love,” Lucas teases him.

“I might have had a crush on her, I admit. But it’s been a long time, we obviously changed a lot. It was great to reunite with her.”

“And you plan to reunite some more with her soon?” Joshua wiggles his eyebrows. 

“We’re actually meeting on Friday.”

“You little minx!” Beckham laughs. “Will you shoot your shot?”

“We literally just met again after almost a decade. There’s no shot to shoot.”

“Yeah, and maybe it’s better if you’re careful,” Lucas nods, but Harry doesn’t really understand what he meant by that.

“Careful?”

“Yeah, I mean, after what she went through…”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Joshua asks, his gaze flickering between Harry and Lucas.

“What? Tell me what it is!”

“She got a divorce not long ago. Like, about a year ago,” Lucas says, keeping his voice down. 

“Huh? I didn’t even know she was married!”

It feels like a punch in the stomach, how he missed such a major event in your life. Not getting an invitation is one thing, but how did you manage to keep it so secret that he didn’t even know you were engaged?

“She kept it pretty low,” Beckham says. “I mean, the divorce and also the whole relationship.”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know about them until she was engaged,” Joshua shakes his head. 

“And what happened? Why did it end?”

Beckham and Joshua shrug their shoulders, but Lucas seems like he knows something. 

“Lucas? If Bee told you something…”

“I don’t know the whole story, okay? But as far as I know… he cheated on her.”

“Oh fuck,” Harry breathes out, his heart sinking instantly. 

“Pretty rough, yeah. But maybe don’t bring it up until she is ready to share it with you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he nods. 

The night carries on and they talk about anything and everything, but Harry’s mind stays stuck on you. To be more precise, your divorce he knew nothing about. It’s no surprise you are so reserved and moody, it must have been hard for you to go through it. He can only hope you had friends to rely on, Chloe or Bee at last if he wasn’t there for you.

Another thing to add to the list of things he should feel horrible about when it comes to you. 

At the end of the night he offers to share a ride with any of the boys and Beckham accepts, so they leave together. 

“I know it’s eating you away,” Beckham speaks up in the car. 

“Huh?”

“That you didn’t know about her divorce.”

“I wasn’t there for her, Beck. I should have been, but I didn’t even know she was engaged!”

“You weren’t talking, you couldn’t have known.”

“Yeah, but it was my fault we weren’t talking. I should have tried harder and… I should have kept my promise I made to her.”

Silence falls over the car as the passing lights illuminate their faces. Beckham is looking at Harry while Harry is staring straight ahead, his jaw jumping. 

“Look, you’ve made mistakes, it’s fine, totally human. If she is willing to meet you again, I’m sure she is not that mad at you, so it’s a good sign. You… Do you… want to, like… date her?”

Harry presses his lips together, thinking of his answer.

“It’s complicated, but… I think I still have feelings for her,” he admits, finally peeking at his friend. “Is that crazy? I mean, we were kids, can I actually still have… feelings for her?”

“Don’t underestimate your younger self. Look at Lucas. He’s been in love with Bee since forever and now they are getting married.”

Harr hums and nods in agreement, but there’s still a lot he needs to get clear in his head. Whatever it is that he feels for you, he wants to explore it but he also needs to be extremely careful now that he knows what you went through. And what if there’s more to it than the cheating? What if the guy did something else too that left you even more scarred? 

He wants answers, but he needs to be patient and give you time. 

Time, he couldn’t give you before.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[fdelopera]

reading your response to the ask about Elohim, i found it so fascinating and really wanted to learn more about jewish history. but im kinda scared to try and dive into googling it because like, for obvious reasons there is a lot of antisemitic misinformation out there. where's a good place to start learning about it all from a historical standpoint, aside from taking a college course? i hope this is okay to ask, i really don't want to stumble upon/consume revisionist history out of ignorance

Hi Anon. Thank you for your kind message. I really appreciate it.

I'm glad that you enjoyed my post about the origin of Elohim as one of the names of G-d in Judaism. Studying Jewish history and Jewish religious practice gives profound understanding and context to Abrahamic religions, as well as to the last 3500+ years of history, since at least the Late Bronze Age.

And thank you for wanting to learn more about Jewish history, and for reaching out to a Jewish person to ask about it.

My answer to your Ask is based on this answer about Jewish history, which I posted a few days ago. Not a lot of people saw it, so I feel okay about posting these links here again.

This past month especially has made me realize just how little most gentiles (non-Jews) know about Jewish history. It's been eye-opening, for sure.

And ... you're right, unfortunately. I've seen a metric shit ton of Jew-hatred going around. And so many antisemitic conspiracy theories that originated with the Neo-Nazis and the KKK.

Some people have been spreading this Neo-Nazi rhetoric intentionally, but many others have been spreading it because they don't have the context to understand that they are repeating Nazi dogwhistles.

In talking to gentiles, I often find that their knowledge of Jewish history extends to a few facts about the Holocaust. Some gentiles who have studied European history and political science may also have a general understanding of Hitler’s rise to power.

But that’s only the past several decades of Jewish history! And it's limited almost entirely to Europe!

Jews are a Levantine people. We are indigenous to Judea (the area currently called Israel/Palestine), and our history goes back thousands of years to the Late Bronze Age.

For a good overview of Jewish history, from the Late Bronze Age to the present, I would recommend two YouTube channels. That’s a good place to start. There are many history books on the subject, but a lot of them are quite dense, and the videos from these two historians will give you a good general overview if you want to learn more.

Sam Aronow:

Sam Aronow covers the span of Jewish history, from the Late Bronze Age to modern times. It is an ongoing Jewish history project that he’s been producing for the past three years, and it is in chronological order. He is currently in the early 1900s, and he comes out with a new video every month or so (he's just released a new video this month).

Click here to go to Sam’s YouTube channel, and then you can scroll back to watch his videos from the beginning, or you can decide what time period of Jewish history you’re most interested in learning about first.

Useful Charts:

Matt Baker, PhD runs the YouTube channel "Useful Charts," and he often works with Sam Aronow's channel. He has a PhD in education and religion. Matt has a very interesting story. He converted to Judaism as an adult; when he was a young man, he escaped a Christian doomsday cult, which he was born into. This gives him a unique understanding of Jewish history, especially how the "Old Testament" is often weaponized by Evangelical Christians to advance specific right-wing agendas. (As I explain below, the Old Testament is NOT the Hebrew bible. It is a chopped up, reordered, edited, and mistranslated version of the Hebrew bible.) Matt's videos on the history of Judaism are well-researched, and he breaks down different aspects of Jewish history into easy-to-follow segments.

I) Jewish History series:

Which Bible Characters are Historical.

Kings of Israel & Judah Family Tree.

Maccabees & King Herod Family Tree. (by Sam Aronow)

Classical Rabbis Family Tree.

Judaism and Jewish Denominations Explained.

Jewish Streams (Denominations) Re-Explained. (by Sam Aronow)

II) Who Wrote the Tanakh and the New Testament series:

NOTE: The Tanakh (the Hebrew bible) is an acronym that stands for Torah (Instruction), Nevi'im (Prophets), Ketuvim (Writings). It is NOT the same as the "Old Testament" in the Christian bible. The Christian editors of the "Old Testament" cut up the Tanakh and reordered it in a way that doesn't make any sense for Jewish practice. Many Christian bibles (such as the King James Version) also intentionally mistranslate the Old Testament to advance specific religious, political, and social ideologies of their time.

Who Wrote the Torah.

Who Wrote the Prophets.

Who Wrote the Writings.

I am including links to Matt's series on who wrote the New Testament, because many people who were raised Christian were never given a historical context for the people who wrote the books of the New Testament.

Who Wrote the Apocrypha. (The Apocrypha are later-written Jewish books that are not included in the Tanakh, but do appear in some Christian bibles, like the Catholic bible)

Who Wrote the Epistles. (Paul's Epistles were written before the Gospels, which is why the Epistles are linked first.)

Who Wrote the Gospels and Acts. (The Gospels were all written long AFTER Jesus' lifetime, and AFTER the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 AD. They were NOT written by the people they are attributed to.)

Who Wrote Daniel, and Who Wrote Revelation. (Matt includes Daniel from the Nevi'im [Prophets] as well as Revelation from the New Testament in this video to discuss apocalypticism in Jewish and early Christian tradition.)

[moxielynx]

@whatudottu hihihihiiiii so ur ramblings about tetrax has me wanting to talk about tetrax cause i will take any opportunity to talk about him

d-23 tetrax is cool even if he didnt speak much in the episode, honestly d-23 ben deserved to be smacked around a little (/J /J that kid is like 13 😭), the twist that they were actually the good guys this whole time was great, especially since sixsix was also working with azmuth, which was a nice perspective

i like to imagine that d-23 tetrax is actually a total sweetheart and didnt actually like fighting ben since ben is just a dumb kid who doesnt know any better (even if he is a stubborn brat)

im pretty certain that petropia in the reboot is perfectly fine because for a while Vilgax wasnt. Vilgax, so he couldn't have hired Tetrax to steal whatever that crystal was from petropia then destroy it, so reboot tetrax is just what happens as a result of Tetrax not facing the consequences of his actions so now he's a MEANIE!!! but the dad instinct is still there judging from the way he interacts with Ben in "Mutiny for the Bounty"

as much as i prefer classic tetrax i really like that they went with a completely different approach with reboot tetrax, and like it makes sense too considering theres no way petropia would be destroyed in the reboot as well if vilgax couldnt do it (if petropia were to also get destroyed in the reboot then that would be so funny cause that basically means the planet is fucked no matter what 💀💀), its really cool to see that this might be what tetrax was like before working for vilgax and makes me really think about how different each version of tetrax is, and only makes me even more depressed that we never got prime tetrax in Omniverse, especially since there could've been so many moments where tetrax could've showed up

classic tetrax obviously isnt as cruel and uncaring as we see in the reboot or as he said when he was telling ben about his backstory because if he really didn't care as much but was like "okay this is fucked up i need to get my act together" then he wouldn't have looked so distraught watching his planet fall

i refuse to acknowledge the change in reaction in uaf tho cause it fucking SUCKED they cant just turn him into this stoic fucking guy after he literally shows up and shakes ben like a rattle, that and also they obviously didnt gaf about his backstory cause in the og backstory you can tell petropia's destruction was YEARS, probably decades ago cause he had those back spikes and even a different outfit but in the uaf version its just the same exact model THEY DONT CARE ABOUT TETRAX LIKE I DO!!!!!!

uaf tetrax made me so sad because i was already insane about the idea of dadtrax because of Secret of the Omnitrix, but when tetrax first showed up in uaf he picked up ben and for some reason my first thought was "omg is he going in for a hug" only to have that ripped away from me when he just straight up starts shaking ben around like a ragdoll 😭like imagine you dont see a guy for like 6 years, last time you saw him he helped you save the world/galaxy, and the first thing he does is fucking shatter you for no reason (or at least appears to be no reason), and all you get from it is a "sorry but i had no time to explain", like thats crazy, the REAL tetrax would never harm ben that is his SON !!!!!!!! and then after the single episode we had of tetrax and even petropia we just. never see him or the planet ever again. like we could've had so much world building for petropia and they decided to just throw it out like it was nothing

tetrax is genuinely such a cool character and its horrible how underutilized he is in every show, like yeah he was in 2 (technically 3 counting the reboot) movies but that doesnt really make up for how little we really saw him, especially since like i mentioned earlier prime tetrax wasnt even in OV which is probably the biggest missed opportunity in history, and the strangest part about it is that we got plenty of episodes exploring different planets and even a whole other system (galactic monsters special) so it was literally the perfect opportunity to write an episode about petropia and how its holding up

also never apologize 2 me about rambles, especially rambles about tetrax, i fucking LOVE reading people's silly little thoughts on things they like :3

[this-is-krikkit]

i might be a little feverish but little talks by of monsters and men sure hits different when you listen to it while thinking of season 4 to post canon levihan and i'm going to write an essay about it.

cool? cool.

so, hear me out. first verse:

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way

that's levihan adjusting to life right after the battle of shiganshina, right?

i mean, the old and empty house and the noises it makes while they sleep represent the now near empty headquarters that they've lived in for a decade that's become haunted with all of their dead comrades' ghosts ; and that line some days i can't even dress myself that is, imo a pretty good match for hange's state of mind (who is no doubt struggling to adjust to their role as Commander) while levi has to watch them shoulder all the responsibility of facing this new world none of them imagined as it is, and knowing it's technically his fault they're in this position

There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear

now the analogies in this verse might be a little less obvious but bear with me. hange's old persona's is still in there, beneath that much more professional exterior they have to project in their new leading role, and so the other voice saying i miss our little talks to me could symbolize levi missing his crazy close friend (who does make a reappearance once in a while, thankfully, but is mostly concealed) because things aren't quite the same as they used to be between the two of them

and of course, hange is exhausted from that burden they inherited 4 years ago and doubting themself and their decisions (especially when things start to go south with eren and later his minions), and although levi can no doubt understand that, he's still loyal to them as his leader

and then. well then comes that bridge. and i'm gonna let the lyrics speak for themselves, aight?

You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

okay i lied, i'm still going to point out that please hang around is a very obvious parallel to levi telling hange to keep watching, or possibly a reference to his last gesture towards them when they told him to let them go and look cool and he couldn't help himself and had to break everyone's fucking heart over that intimate version of their military salute.

the I'll see you when i fall asleep i feel could refer either to levi's hallucination of all the scouts veterans, or to the fact that he's hoping he gets reunited with them when it's his turn to die, many many years in the future after he gets the rest and peace they all deserved.

anyways THIS IS THEIR ANTHEM BYE!!

[rosie-b]

Centuries Overdue

Chapter 8

Marinette sighed in relief.

There, a little black cat was floating in the air near Adrien, who was still alive and okay! Beside the cat, there was a ladybug of equal size with sparkling blue eyes. As it hovered near the other kwami, it looked over at Marinette and smiled.

“Hello, Marinette! It’s good to see one of my own Mages,” the kwami gushed, flying over to her. “That hasn’t happened in a while. I’m Tikki. Nice to meet you!”

Marinette was lost for words. “Where’s Gimmi?”

Tikki looked confused at first, but then understanding flooded her face. “You met them, didn’t you? I’m so glad you’re all right! What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Marinette swallowed. “It’s a long story.”

“Then it’s all the more important to tell, don’t you think?” Tikki asked. She gazed up at Marinette with innocent blue eyes.

Marinette looked at Adrien, who sighed.

“Tell her the abridged version, Marinette. She and Plagg deserve to know.”

Marinette looked back at Tikki. “It started when I  decided to visit the catacombs and Alya told me there were zombies,” she began. She spent the next few minutes quickly recapping what had happened next, and noticed how sad and remorseful Tikki looked when she heard about the Mages and Talents who’d been trapped by Gimmi’s magic.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that, Marinette! Thank you for telling us about it, though. It’s good that we know.”

The other kwami, who must be Plagg, looked horrified. “I wish I didn’t,” he said.

Adrien reached out to cup him in his hands. “I know how you feel. But it will be okay, right?”

Plagg nodded uneasily. “They would have had to be released,” he told Adrien. “All the Talents. They’re all gone now, Adrien.”

“I think they already were,” Adrien said sadly. “I’m glad they can rest now, at least. They had to wait for release too long.”

Plagg nodded, curling up in his Chosen’s palm. “It’s a good thing you’re safe, Adrien.”

“Well,” Marinette said, “I hate to bring it up, but I have a huge question that’s still unanswered. How do we get out of the catacombs? We’re still in a locked-off, uncharted section of them. No one can find us here, which means either we rescue ourselves, we get lucky and some cataphiles find us, or we die. And I’d rather not die!”

“You can use your powers to escape!” Tikki said excitedly. “Create a map of the catacombs, and Plagg and I will help you get out, even if the entrance is blocked.”

Oh, man, things had changed since just a few hours ago. Back then, Marinette had accepted that she just wouldn’t be able to escape, but now, she had gained a— a partner? Magic sort-of soulmate? Friend? 

She had Adrien with her now, and her own magic to boot. Plus two helpful kwamis who’d recently been part of one big, scary kwami who’d almost killed her.

“Okay,” Marinette said dubiously. “I guess that could work, even if I’m still new to magic. But what spell do I use, Tikki?”

“Since I’m with you right now, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Just say, ‘Tikki, spots on!’ and I’ll give you a map instead of a yo-yo this time.”

“Is that how that works,” Marinette muttered. “Okay, Tikki, spots on!”

Sure enough, a map fell into her hands.

“Better than a teapot, right, Marinette?” Adrien asked. 

She snorted. “Very. Okay,” she said, twisting the map around. “It looks like we should go that way!”

“We’ll need some light,” Adrien said. “And you may be powerful, but you’re still new to magic, so you can only do one spell at a time.”

“Let me do it!” Tikki offered. “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to help one of my Mages. Without the Talents, it’s been nearly a decade since the last one made it to my castle.”

“Your castle?”

“Mm-hm, in Italy. Adrien’s visited it before; you can ask him to tell you all about it if you want!” Tikki studied the map and darted ahead, creating a series of little lanterns to show the way. The rest of the group followed after her.

“Oh, right! He wrote about it in the third and ninth journals. I remember now,” Marinette said.

Adrien looked amused. “Wait, did you read the rest of my journals, too? Not just the one you found me with?”

“Uh—” Marinette gulped as her face heated up. “Maybe? They were in a library I was working at for my summer job. They were kind of falling apart, but they were intriguing, so I read them anyway. They’re how I found out about magic.”

“Yeah, that would be why Gimmi was targeting my kitten,” Plagg grumbled. “He’s too good at his job. Gimmi didn’t want him to keep writing and risk the Ungifted finding out about magic again, or the Mages figuring out who was behind the Darkness.”

“I didn’t even know about Wishes while I was writing,” Adrien groaned. “Honestly, Gimmi needs to talk to other people before murdering them! And you should talk to other people more often, too, Plagg. And not just about cheese.”

“You spent how many centuries maturing in the catacombs, and you still can’t appreciate my gooey cheeses? Adrien, I’m offended!” Plagg let out a loud, indignant sniff.

Although, Marinette noticed that he didn’t move from Adrien’s shoulder, where he had moved to rest.

“Well, at least you feel comfortable telling me when you feel bad,” Adrien said. “Now, do it more often; tell someone when something is hurting you. Maybe if you and Tikki don’t store up negative emotions, that will help Gimmi be less angry all the time, since you two are what they’re made of.”

“Sure thing, kid,” Plagg said. “I’ll talk your ear off if you want me to.”

“We should probably talk, too, Marinette,” Tikki said, coming back from lighting the rest of the lanterns. Behind them, the ones they’d already passed winked out of existence. “I bet you have a lot of questions for me!”

Marinette smiled, feeling very weary and no small amount overwhelmed. “Maybe once we get out of the catacombs,” she promised. “We still have a long way to go. And hey, it’s pretty cool that we’re here, now that I think about it,” she mused. “No one else has been where we are since probably before you died, Adrien! A positive outlook—and knowing we’re not about to die—makes this trip a lot better.”

He winced. “Yeah. It’s pretty cool,” he repeated cautiously. “However, you’re going to have to teach me everything I missed in the last two centuries, or I fear I’ll never blend in once we’re out of here. I’m still surprised I was able to come back at all.”

“Yeah, thank you for that, Ponytail,” Plagg said. 

On realizing who he was speaking to, Marinette reached back for her hair, feeling offended. “Hey! I needed to keep it out of my eyes, that’s all.”

“Plagg, be nice! Besides, milady, I think you look beautiful like this,” Adrien said. 

Plagg peeked one eye open to stare at him. “Oh boy, here we go,” he groaned.

Marinette’s face felt like someone had turned into a furnace. “O-oh, hanks, Madrien! I mean, thanks, Adrien! It isn’t my usual style, though.”

“Oh! Well, I’m sure you’re beautiful no matter how you wear it.” Adrien smiled at her, but when she kept staring at him, he coughed and schooled his face. “Okay, I have a joke to share while we’re all still trying to keep distracted. Here it goes— what do libraries and catacombs have in common?”

Marinette blinked. Libraries and catacombs?  “I don’t know. What?”

Adrien grinned and leaned closer to her. “They both have a lot of spines! Get it?”

Marinette looked sideways at Adrien, whose smile began to slip.

“Book spines, human spines? No?”

Marinette closed her eyes. “Adrien, I just almost died and you just came back from being dead. How can you joke about bones already? I think if I look at the walls we’re walking past for too long, I’ll throw up.”

Adrien winced. “Sorry! I’m so sorry. I forgot, it’s rude to speak that way in front of—"

“Girls aren’t the issue, Adrien,” Plagg interrupted. “The Un-Gifted moved past that, mostly.”

Adrien relaxed. “Oh. That’s good. I mean, the Mages were always a bit different, but it’s good to know the rest of the world has changed, too.”

“It definitely has,” Marinette agreed. “It was refreshing, to read your journals and know that at least for some women, the 1800s weren’t as bad as they were for most. You know, thinking back to the joke, I think the issue is that you grew up basically surrounded by war and death, but I didn’t. France is mostly at peace in the modern world; democracy is back, and so it was really hard to suddenly be thrust into a battle and confronted with so much death. I’m sure we’ll both need therapy when we get back.”

“Therapy?” Adrien questioned, raising one eyebrow. “You’re sure we can get that? What we went through is pretty specific, you know.”

“Modern therapy, yes. Alya told me the Mages have their own therapists, so you don’t need to worry about revealing magic’s existence in order to get some closure.  

“I’ll talk you through the basics later, because we’re getting close to the exit. We need to figure out some other things first, before we get back on the main path and the guards hopefully find us. Like, how do we explain your sudden presence? We can tell Alya and the Mages, of course, but what about the guards and the rest of the world?”

“You should work together with Alya,” Tikki said, excitedly zooming in front of Marinette so she could face her. “I can go see her now and ask her to cast a spell! It will be hard for her to do, but very much worth the effort. With the help of her illusions, Adrien will be ‘recognized’ as another missing visitor to the catacombs, and once you’re both out, you can go to Alya and create a fake ID and whatever else you need to fit in.”

“An ID,” Adrien repeated. He looked adorable when he was confused, Marinette thought.

“It’s basically a card that tells the government who you are. It’s not that bad, I promise!”

Adrien scrunched his eyebrows together. “If you say that it isn’t, milady, then I trust you.”

Tikki smiled. “Great! I’ll go tell Alya, then.” She phased through the catacomb walls and vanished.

“Aww, why can’t we do that?” Marinette asked.

“You could, if you were less mortal and more awesome,” Plagg said with a smirk.

Adrien shot him a glare. “So, I need to pretend to have an ID. What else do I need to know right now?”

Marinette thought for a moment. “Cars! Okay, we’ve made these vehicles that run on gas or electricity and they’re basically mini rooms with seats on wheels, and they move really fast. There are also airplanes, faster ships, and subways and trains. Um, and lightbulbs? Did you have those?”

Adrien shook his head. Marinette sighed.

“They’re like lanterns, but they run on electricity. No big deal.”

“No big deal,” Adrien repeated in disbelief. “Really? It sounds like the Un-Gifted found a way to make their own magic! That’s incredible!” 

Marinette blushed. “I guess it is. Um, other things run on electricity, too; a lot, actually.  I showed you my phone; basically everybody has one now and they do a lot of cool stuff I’ll need more than ten minutes to explain, haha. There are bigger versions called tablets, and then there are laptops and computers, which are even bigger but still similar to phones, and TVs, which are even bigger and mostly show the weather or recorded, uh, plays and musicals. Oh, when we get to the entrance, there will probably be a ton of cameras, which are these devices that basically flash a light at you and take a picture of you, exactly as you are. Like an instant painting!”

“That sounds terrifying,” Adrien said, grabbing her hand. “I didn’t think things would change that much, even if it’s been a couple centuries! Next you’ll tell me they found a way to go into outer space,” he chuckled.

Marinette looked at him with a smirk growing on her face.

“Oh, you have to be joking,” he breathed.

She giggled. “Nope, I’m not! Aaand we’re at the entrance to the main paths, now. Are you ready?”

Adrien squeezed her hand tight. “If you are, milady.”

“Hey, lover-boy,” Plagg said, still not moving from his spot on Adrien’s shoulders, “If you want to get through that nice metal gate facing you, you’re gonna have to let go of her hand.”

“Oh! Right. Plagg, claws out!” Adrien said, dropping her hand with a bashful smile. “Cataclysm.” He touched the gate and it rusted, falling open and letting them pass through it.

“Is that how you got in, the first time?” Marinette asked. “I know you didn’t wait to go in like a normal person.”

Adrien flushed. “Oh, right, the journals. Um. Yes. Why did I ever write that down?” He muttered the last bit to himself, just barely audible.

“Well, it helped you out in the end,” Marinette said. “If it weren’t for your journals, I never would have been able to rescue you.”

“Which I am so grateful for,” Adrien said assuringly. “Have I said that enough times? I don’t think I have. Should I write you a song to say thank you?”

Marinette blushed and tried to distract herself from the romantic implications of writing songs. He’s from the past, it was different back then! “Ooh, you can write songs, too, not just write?”

“I’m a man of many talents,” Adrien smiled. “You could call it a gift.”

Marinette smacked his arm.

He grinned at her and kept walking forward through the tunnels. 

A few meters later, a guard finally spotted them, and they were rushed up to the main building. 

Predictably, the press was there waiting, and Alya was right beside them. Once they got some initial footage, she waved a hand, muttering something under her breath, and the reporters busied themselves with her illusions of interviewing the two rescuees. Adrien watched in awe as Alya stepped out to lead them away from the scene.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it all handled. They’ll think you just fell behind, got lost for a while, but turned around and came back without any real issues,” she told them. “Now. Are you both okay? You’re not hurt?”

Marinette nodded. Now that they were finally out, she felt completely exhausted. “I think we’re fine; no injuries here. Alya, that was so scary,” she cried, throwing her arms around her friend in a tight hug.

“I told you it was dangerous,” Alya said sadly. “I am so glad you’re okay. Tikki told me you found your magic, and defeated the zombies? You found Adrien, too, and resurrected him? Like, that’s insane! Girl, you are something else entirely!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“She is quite amazing,” Adrien agreed, wide-eyed. “If that’s what that means.”

Alya’s lips twitched. “Oh, it’s a good thing Tikki told me to start that illusion,” she said, barely restraining a laugh. “Your clothes would have given you away instantly if I hadn’t been there!”

Adrien frowned and pulled at his suit’s collar. “Yes, after seeing those other men, I can see why. What is the modern fashion these days?”

“It’s a lot comfier, for one thing,” Alya said. “I think you’ll like it.”

Relaxing, Adrien smiled at her. “That’s good to hear. By the way, it seems you both know my name, but I don’t think I know yours,” he said, gesturing at her.

Marinette smiled. “This is Alya, my best friend and head Mage of Trixx. She taught me about the modern Mage community and the finer details of how magic works.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Adrien,” Alya said, offering her hand. “Now, let’s get you up to speed!”

Written for @mlbigbang

[espinosaurusrexex]

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

nine - promises (Bucky's version)

BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader

summary: It's time to make a plan, but the take-down of Wanda's magical town leaves Y/N uncertain. Bucky is doing his best to show her how much she means to him.

a/n: This might be my favorite chapter, but I think I broke my own heart writing it - anybody wanna join the ‘pining for unrealistic men club’?

!Divider is mine. Please give credit when using!

word count: 5.8k

chapter warnings: fluff, a little awkward - Agnes, little angst, some much needed talking, soft Bucky omg - so soft!, smut (oral - m receiving, praise kink, slight overstim, unprotected p in v - wrap it up guys!) !MINIORS DO NOT INTERACT!

✶ 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ☾

Bucky watched as Y/N moved her hand over the table, provisionally cleaning it for the map to be laid out on. She had beautiful hands, he thought, so soft and careful, but deadly if they wanted to. He never had hands like that. They were always scraped when he was a kid, calloused during the war, and, well... after he just didn’t like them all together. But even now that he had two perfectly fine flesh hands, they were rough and worn, smeared with motor oil or some other thing he could occupy himself within the house.

It was alright, though. Buck would never complain. Not when he knew how much worse things could be. Living in a huge home with the woman he had been having feelings for months was a crazy thing to be mad about. He subtly smiled to his feet when he remembered the call from Y/N and the way he had felt his heart beat slightly faster than normal.

Back when everything was okay - when Steve was still alive and when the avengers were still avenging, his best friend had always wanted Bucky to make a move on the secret crush he had been harboring. So when Y/N had called that night again, he accepted in his honor and in memory of the man he once was and which Steve adored and looked up to once. For a split second, the fraction of a moment, he had been that man again. And he had used its confidence boost to tell her that he would come with her to Westview. And even though the time here had been tough, he was glad he had done it anyway.

Because ever since the pair had entered Westview, Bucky felt a whole new level of connection to Y/N. That pull towards her had intensified and the sensation was only fueled by the need to play pretend - happily married that was. A strange thing to think about still, but it was kind of nice to play house with Y/N. The world seemed a little less heavy and the smiles on his lips a little easier. And despite all those circumstances, Bucky knew that he had found a true friend in her - even more than that actually. Sure, Sam was great, and Zemo was strangely growing on him, too, but neither of them gave him what Y/N could - which was the fulfillment of a need he had thought to have died many decades ago, frozen with the man hydra tortured out of him. 

Y/N gave him comfort and love and warmth and smiles and laughs. And carelessness - weightlessness. Hell, she even chased his nightmares away and Bucky couldn’t believe how much better a good night’s rest made him feel. There was nothing more precious to him than feeling the feelings that made him forget his horrible past. Y/N had proven to give those to him the very first night in Westview, when she had checked on him, simultaneously starting a vacuum of affection that only ever wanted hers.

Bucky’s eyes caught hers for a second and when Y/N sat down, there was that look again and it pulled on his heart. 

Bucky didn't know what had happened with Wanda yesterday. But it definitely didn’t ‘end’ things as Y/N had proclaimed before storming out trying to hide her teary-eyed face in vain. Bucky hated to see her cry. But he hated it even more when she acted all distant and weird like she had after she had come home last night. Was that how people felt about him all the time? Bucky knew that he was not that easy to be around. It wasn’t easy for him to be around other people, either. Which was why it pained him to have one of the only people he liked to be close to, distance themselves.

Y/N wasn’t mad at him - at least he didn't think so - but something had changed the way she looked at him last night. Before it was all doe-eyed and happy and now? Well, now it was still like that but mixed with a dreamy longing, not a good one though - almost like homesickness. He hadn’t even planned on telling her about Natasha, knowing how much of a toll it would take on her, but it was even worse lying to her. So his plastered smile faded and he caved and told her. And even though it was the right thing to do, he would’ve taken it back had he known how much hurt he would find in her eyes ever since. It had happened the first time after he had kissed her this morning and she was looking at him like that right now, too as everyone took a seat at the table, waiting for him to follow.

Vision and Agnes had joined the Wanda intervention team this morning, apparently. It wasn’t too surprising, though. After that first day in Westview where Bucky had followed Agnes in the night, he knew that she knew things nobody else did. The way she snooped around the houses, hiding her calculated mastermind behind the gossipy neighbor lady facade to get even more intel on everyone and everything. It was a smart move, really. But Bucky couldn’t be fooled. Years of training had done that to him. Now, he was glad to finally put those skills to good use: saving people and not killing them.

“There have been instances in this town that do not fall within the realm of normalcy,” Vision started and Bucky couldn’t help but smile when Y/N grumbled a sassy reply to herself.

Vision pointed at the map with his finger before looking into the circle of faces on the table. “The center of Westview is right here. Life is thriving there. As Agnes has told me, Wanda has created a hex summoning everyone under a spell to play characters in Westview. But starting from approximately a one-mile radius,” he circled another area, “life stands still.”

“It’s almost like her magic doesn’t reach that far, so she just decided to freeze the people.” A shiver ran down Bucky’s spine when he said it, remembering when he told Y/N about Natasha the night before. Her eyes were drowning him in sorrow. They were glassy again and it was horrible knowing he couldn’t help her right now. 

When Vision had asked Bucky to follow him instead of coming with him to work like they always had the weeks prior, he knew that something was off - that Vision wasn’t like all the other Westviewers he had met by then. And he had got to admit, seeing Natasha had plummeted his heart like never before. Not necessarily because she was supposed to be dead - he had witnessed far more unsettling things - but because he knew how devastated Y/n would be when he would tell her. Because even if he didn’t plan to initially, he knew he would cave as soon as she laid those pleading eyes on him. 

“It's not like her magic doesn’t reach there. In fact, the border is where it is at its strongest. But she just chose to focus it on the center. Think of Westview as a show. Wanda can choose what characters appear and which don’t. View the edge of town as more of a backstage area.”

“It's so weird. We didn’t notice any of that when we came here. And we actually went through the wall.” Y/N focused on Agnes when she spoke. Talking about it helped - Y/N had shown him that.

“I imagine Wanda knew that and simply adjusted your surroundings.”

Y/N shook her head with sad eyes. “This doesn’t sound like Wanda at all, I don’t know what happened to her, but she is not as bad as everyone makes her out to be.” A fleeting glance caught Bucky’s before he averted them back to the map. 

Agnes just snorted. “Well, Westview makes people do all sorts of things. You of all people should know. It’s not like you chose to fake a marriage when you got here.”

The Black Widow's head shot up suddenly, a dreaded look on her face washing all other emotions off. “Wait, you know?”

He watched as Y/N’s face contorted into an embarrassed one, but Bucky just hid a smile behind the cough he pushed forward. Nothing really surprised him anymore - especially not from Agnes.

“Oh, the entire time, honey. I’m sorry if nobody ever told you this, but your acting skills are in desperate need of work. You looked about as comfortable as a nail bed the day I met you, Y/N. And I know, I’ve laid on one before.” 

“Oh my god,” she whispered into her hands before hiding her face in Bucky’s arm. “Does everyone know?”

“Well, I do. But, I found you two very believable, if I may say so,” Vision added, only easing Y/N’s discomfort superficially, as she still clung to Bucky’s arm like a sloth. He didn’t mind it though. Her touch was what he had been craving all day, so he soaked up every little thing she gave him.

“No. Dare I say that my ability to see through this whole charade is because of my own magic powers. Vision knows because I told him.”

“You’re- okay, yea, why not? It’s not crazy enough that one which accidentally held a whole town hostage, there had to be another which living in it too.” There she was again, the woman Bucky found so enticing. “Why do you know all this, Agnes?”

“I guess it is time to properly introduce myself.” Agnes smoothed over the table and then she smiled. “My name is Agatha Harkness and I am old - let's leave it at that. I know you might think that I have something to do with this, but everything that happened to the people of Westview, happened to me, too. I was able to break out of it at some point, though. It did take some skills, I’ll tell you that. Even if Wanda is not a very experienced witch, her powers are astounding.”

For some reason this statement made Bucky feel slightly uneasy. He had been in countless dangerous situations before, but magic was something, not even his fists could fight against. But there was another thing freeing the worry he felt and it was that someone he cared about was just as much in danger as he was.

“That’s because they’re born out of raw and strong emotions. The pain she must have felt losing me triggered this... town,” Vision explained calmly.

Y/N’s voice sprung up from the short silence that had built between the group: “She was devastated, Vision. I don’t think pain is a strong enough word to describe her feelings.”

“You must excuse me. I cannot possibly comprehend those things.” He had turned more and more into the synthezoid they all knew with every second he spent with them. The only thing left of the chipper family father was the deep feelings he had for Wanda. Even if he didn’t know what it really was, he had told Bucky, they showed him that somebody cared.

“I know...” She whispered, her hand grazing Bucky’s under the table which made him perk up. A small smile appeared on his lips when he took her hand fully into hers, squeezing it reassuringly and taking a deep breath. He was proud to be able to anchor her to the moment. It was a connection he had only ever had twice before in his life. It was still fascinating that a simple touch could ground his emotions and clear his mind. Bucky knew how special it was, and he would never finish being grateful for it.

“God, I really don’t understand how those two acted so badly when they clearly want to jump each other’s bones so much,” Agatha muttered to Vision, but Bucky chose to ignore it and take another look at Y/N instead.

That’s when Y/n cleared her throat as if she had been caught. Her hand remained in Bucky's though, his thumb rubbing slow circled over her soft skin and sending warmth through his body. 

“Okay, so what’s the game plan?”

The dusk was slowly fading from the horizon when Bucky cleaned the last dishes in the sink. Agatha and Vision had left about an hour ago and after a short conversation with Y/N, in which Bucky had insisted on cleaning up, she had excused herself to her room. 

Y/N had not looked good after the meeting today. All zoned out from time to time and even shaky at one point. She was a trained assassin and a strong woman, but moments like these remind him that sometimes the wrong people were chosen for a life they didn’t belong in. Y/N was the kindest most caring person he had ever met, and knowing that somebody forced her childhood from her and built her to do unspeakable things just broke his heart. She didn’t deserve it - most people didn’t. Bucky’s hand had not left her body once that evening. Always touching some part of her to remind her that he was there. She had sent him encouraging smiles with thankful meanings behind them, but he saw that she was far from fine. Who could blame her? She was plotting against her best friend, forced to plan another inevitable heartbreak for an already broken woman.

Bucky watched his hands stir the foam in the sink water from left to right. He would have never thought that he would end up here after everything that’s happened. Soaking dishes in a suburban home with a ‘wife’ upstairs, sleeping the stress of the dinner guests away in their bed. A thought like that would have unsettled him beyond belief just a month ago. Having someone to care for - someone besides himself when he barely lent enough care to his own sometimes.

A future with Y/N wasn’t a scary thought anymore, though. He actually smiled thinking back on the past days in which their happy little family just lived in the most suburban house imaginable. Maybe his broken self had a chance at being happy forever. He could imagine it at least - with Y/N by his side. She broke open the icy layer the winter soldier had built piece by piece and slowly, but surely, fractions of the man he once was shone through the cold blue barrier. He would have never dared to even think about a nine-to-five job and gardening shorts before - not even after Wakanda. But now, he would trade those thoughts for every nightmare he ever had - though, even if those had faded ever since he slept by Y/N’s side. 

The lights on the street turned on with the darkness creeping in the street and Bucky shook his head while draining the dishwater. He put out a new bowl of water for Alpine and let his eyes wander over the surfaces again. Everything was cleaned and stored away. He twisted the wedding band back in his finger and checked for everything a second time, trying to ignore his pounding heart in the process. He didn’t mind it anymore, it was more of a habit now, and deep down, he saw the glimmering metal as a promise to himself and the life he longed to have again. Now there was only one last thing to do, and he had been looking forward to it all day.

Bucky climbed the steps to the first floor. It wasn’t long before he stood in the doorway of the master bedroom where he could see Y/N laying in bed with Alpine snuggled up by her face, a reassuring hand stroking the white fur with love. 

“You’re so lucky, Al,” the woman cooed while Alpine closed her eyes with every stroke of her hand. “You’re just living your oblivious life. Sometimes I wished I could do that, too.”

Y/N sniffed and it was only then that Bucky noticed her tear-stained cheeks glistening in the lamplight. 

Bucky nudged the door open further, revealing his figure in the doorframe where he stood with a shy smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Her hand moved to wipe her tears away, but he had already seen them.

His feet took him to the bed where sat down on the edge and stroked Alpine as well. The feline’s purring just intensified with the sensation and Bucky smiled to himself when her tail softly swayed against his wrist. He soaked up the quiet noises of Alpine and the faint smell of Y/N’s shampoo for a while. Neither of them spoke, but Bucky didn’t mind. At least her tears had stopped - that was a good sign, right? But after a while, Bucky grew nervous with the steely gaze on his profile. His hand movement stopped and he forced a small smile on his lips.

“You’ve been staring for a solid three minutes... I thought that was my job.” The small joke made Y/N chuckle through a shaky breath and Bucky felt his cheeks taint darker at the success.

“I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” It was a careful approach to the type of conversation he had often with his former coworker. But even if their topics were rooted in deep issues and fears, he always felt safe discussing them with her. He felt lighter afterwards, too. And he hoped she did as well.

Y/N nodded in his peripheral. “You still mean it, right? That you didn’t want it to be a lie.” And with that, he stopped giving any attention to Alpine. Bucky’s head turned to Y/N’s, his chest squeezing with the thought of breaking a promise such as this one.

His fingers inched over hers. Hers were cold. He watched as they disappeared in his, his left hand coming up to cover them as well. Y/N just let it happen, she even twisted her wrist until she could fully be engulfed by Bucky’s palms where he slowly warmed them up. “If there is one thing I am sure about as of right now, it is this.” He smiled sadly.

Sure, the situation wasn’t ideal, but not even Bucky wouldn’t deny that something beautiful had grown out of it. Bucky leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on her forehead before resting his own against it. Apparently, he didn’t leave enough space for Alpine anymore, because the cat sprung from the bed and disappeared into the hallway.

Another sad chuckle slipped from her lips along with a stray tear that Bucky swiftly wiped away with his thumb. His hand lingered on her face, though, enjoying a warm part of hers.

The air was tingling in his ears with the position they were in - so close and true. Sure feelings just flooded his senses with every second passing by. Y/N locked a hand behind his head and pushed her lips to his. They were salty and wet but they were everything he ever wanted. Kissing Y/N was like taking a deep breath - liberating and safe. He could do it forever - he planned on it actually.

When they broke apart, warm breath tickling dampened skin and eyes still closed with their noses pushed together, Bucky let the shiver run through his body and finally releases the question that had been burning on his mind the whole day.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better.” She stroked his hair with a sigh. “But having you here is helping a lot... What about you?” 

Bucky exhaled slowly and placed her other hand on his chest guiltily. “Haven’t felt this good in a while, actually.” But it was true and he wouldn’t lie to her. Bucky finally felt as though he was and did well again. He would help Wanda and he would save the people of this town. He would get the girl and he would finally be living the life he had always wanted. 

“That's good.” She whispered against his lips before her arms encircled his torso and wrapped him up in a loving hug. “Yeah..,” he mused into her shoulder where he started to pepper tiny kisses to her skin. It wasn’t long before she shakily whispered his name in the air, soft hands burying in his hair, pulling on the short strands, and moving his head back to her mouth. 

Y/N kissed him with vigor this time - not as careful as before. Though they were still soft, her lips pressed into his with a pleasant force. She leaned back down, drawing Bucky with her in the mattress where he swiftly kicked off his shoes to fully climb into bed. He lay on his side now, Y/N’s face still closely tugged to his. His thumb moved a stray hair from her forehead while his eyes stared into hers. His heart felt so full with her in his arms. Those were the best parts of his life here: having something that made everything worth it again.

“You’re so beautiful,” Bucky whispered absently drowning in the color of her eyes. They were looking back at him in awe and with every blink, the smile beneath them grew.

And before he knew it, Bucky was pulled into another kiss. Wandering hands explored his body this time. There wasn’t a sense of handholding in this kiss - It was needy and desperate. The shift in the atmosphere had almost been drowned out by the tiny noises escaping Y/N’s lips when his thigh moved forward to squeeze between hers. His movements were fueled by feelings he hadn’t felt in years. And yet, here they were, openly laid out on display and ready for him to take them in. And he was ready for them. 

Y/n’s hand found its way beneath his shirt. They were still a little cooler than his skin thus leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. His leg pushed further up between her legs, drawing a throaty ‘please’ from her lungs. Y/N tugged on his shirt but his hand came up to stop her.

“Do you really want this... with me, I mean.” His eyes were boring into hers, looking for a sliver of doubt in there. He would stop and leave if he suspected even a trace. This moment shouldn’t spring from desperation and distraction. He wanted it to be true - he needed it to be true. 

Y/N nodded with a smile before her hands resumed their tugging motion, but Bucky stopped her a second time.

“Say it.”

She looked at him with soft eyes, now. He could practically see her mind clicking while she realized how important this was to him. “I want you, Bucky.”

The brunette nodded in relief and sat up to remove his shirt. When he leaned back down, he positioned himself above her, both arms holding him up by his elbows. But he didn’t move beyond that - just stared at her, imprinting every dip and line on her face into his memory. 

When her hands slid down his torso again, he closed his eyes, trialing the path she took on his body in his mind. Y/N wasn’t just touching him, she was mapping him out, tracing every part of him he was insecure about, and kissing the places that Westview had turned flawless.

He kissed her collar and then traveled down her chest until he reached the hem of her t-shirt. His leg pressed against her core again but this time, she didn’t hold herself back. Y/N’s head fell back on the pillow with an open mouth, her fingers drew him back to her face where she stole more kisses from his lips.

“Let’s make it even.” 

“Yes, please.” Bucky took off her shirt and unclasped her bra while she bucked her hips against his thigh. He was already painfully hard beneath his jeans. Y/n hadn’t even touched him anywhere near his aching cock, her moans and mewls were enough to stimulate his entire body. 

“I need- ah.” His fingers brushed over her hardened nipples before his face pressed to her chest to litter it with kisses again.

“What is it, sweetheart? What do you need?”

“More.” Was all she huffed out as her hands pressed on his shoulder blades. Bucky would give her everything she asked for. And if he couldn’t, he’d find a way. But before he could finish that thought, his mind was clouded with a wave of pleasure when her body brushed up to his cock. 

Warmth seeped through his whole body with every second he spend pressed against hers. Everywhere his fingers went, they brushed over other parts of her skin, never leaving her, never losing contact. Bucky felt alive. A tiny amber in the darkness of his mind that Y/N brought to him and fueled with her steady presence. He was thinking of her, smelling her, touching her. Her, her, her.

“You are perfect.” You’re everything I’ve ever needed. Hushed whispers mapping over pebbled skin, soft lips grazing tender flesh.

Bucky kissed down her torso, enjoying the light scratch of her fingernails on his scalp and then he looked up at her while opening the silver button of her jeans, pulling them off along with her panties. He was quick to follow, kneeling up to open his own but the excitement shooting through his body and the stringing tent in his jeans made it difficult to concentrate. 

“Let me.” Y/N fingers brushed his and moved them to the side. She carefully undid his pants and slid them down his legs.

His breath staggered when she pulled the elastic of his boxer briefs down, letting hard cock bounce up against his stomach. There was a fire in her eyes when she looked back into his again, one hand coming up to push him backwards and onto the end of the bed where Bucky sat dumbfounded and curious about her next move.

“I- wow Bucky.”

A grin replaced the dazed look on his face with her comment, loosening up the air and making him feel confident again.

“Can I?” She nodded towards his groin as even though her eyes were still slightly wider than before Bucky nodded with a smile, his blue eyes melting with the sight of her before him. “Please.”

She kissed up to his hips, her fingers coming up to slowly stroke him until her lips peppered up his thick shaft. Pleasure was already clouding his mind and his cock twitched cheekily against her mouth. That’s when her tongue licked a long stripe from the base up to his tip making him shudder in the process.

“Fuck, baby.” Bucky’s fingers disappeared in her hair, slowly guiding her movements up and down. Her mouth felt heavenly and when she used her tongue to swirl around his tip, he was done for. Small sparks of electricity pulsed in his brain - his. Y/N just hummed around him. Her eyes were closed and an attempted smile tugged on her lips. Bucky couldn’t even focus on it all. He was too occupied with keeping himself from coming right then. But her mouth was just so perfect. Y/N was just...

“Okay, sweetheart. You need to- ah.” Bucky wheezed a small moan before pulling her up and to his face again.

“What’s up?” Y/N grinned, but it was sweet rather than cocky. Just a genuine concern for him.

“Can’t hold it if you keep going like that.”

“Oh, well we should change something then.”

“Yeah, I think so, too.” His hands snuck around her hips and pushed her forward until she was straddling him. Her face was so close to his again, but all she did was place her hands on his cheek, eyes scanning over his features like an open book. 

Bucky let her. He could watch her do anything for hours. There was always something fascinating he could concentrate on. Like the way, her pupils dilated when he licked his lips, or how softly her lashes fanned over her cheeks when she looked at him like that. 

“You have a beautiful soul, Buck.” Her thump smoothed over his brow. “It doesn’t matter that life sometimes makes us feel otherwise.” She stared at him intently, her second hand cupping his chin and Bucky could only stare back in awe. “I will protect you with everything I have. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

This must be what people meant when they said their hearts swelled. Because Bucky was bursting with serotonin right now. There wasn’t a more magical moment, a more perfect choice of words she could have ever placed in his mind. It was an overwhelming feeling, to hold the woman he adored in his arms. And even if it was not quite put in words, this felt like an ‘I love you’.

His brown head of hair hid in her chest and Bucky was sure Y/n could feel his smile on every inch of skin he touched. “Why would you think that this would make me less horny?”

“I wasn’t. It just felt right.” She kissed him again. “Promise me, Bucky. Promise me you will remember it.”

“I promise.” A short silence filled the room in which the pair just stared at each other. “Now, where were we?”

“Something about horny.” 

“Right.” Y/N laughed when Bucky hoisted her up higher and closer to him, but her laugh was cut short once his cock pushed against her clit. A breathy version of his name tumbled over her lips over and over again when his hands guided her back and forth, rocking her up his length until she let her head fall back. 

Bucky took the opportunity to suck her nipple into his mouth, the other being engulfed by his warm hands. With every stroke of his tongue and every rocking motion, her skin became hotter. Her hands found their way to the back of his head where there pressed him deeper into the sensitive buds, moan after moan echoing in the bedroom.

“I’m close. I’m-” her words only spurred him on further, his mouth alternating between her breasts, never leaving one neglected. He needed it to keep himself from bursting. 

“Come on, doll.” Another flick of his tongue, the stroke of a finger. “Give in-” Bucky was cut off by a fervent scream. Y/N’s hands tightened around him and her rocking motions staggered. He muttered a course when he saw the mess in his lap that just shot another rush of blood to his cock. He was painfully hard now, desperate for release and hungry for the taste of her skin on his tongue. 

Y/n whimpered when Bucky rocked her over his slick cock again, the sensitivity seemingly too much, but she didn’t stop him. Rather her breathing picked up again as she fell forwards, lips grazing his ear with every whispered word. “I need you inside of me, baby.”

A smile broke through the heated air when the pair laid gently on the covers, limbs tangling and hands moving over every inch of dampened skin. Bucky placed his skin on hers over and over again so seamlessly, it felt as if he was kissing her for hours. Though the need of his own crept up his spine with every push he sent to the mattress. He needed to feel her - all of her. 

He moved up slightly until his tip poked her entrance, retrieving a needy whimper from Y/N. His lips locked with hers once more and that’s when he pushed forward, entering her in one long stroke and feeling her velvety walls engulf her with unbelievable comfort. 

“Shit. You’re so tight.”

“Move, please, just-” And he did. Bucky pushed in and out of her until his entire body was lifted in ecstasy. Y/N’s legs locked around his hips, giving him even deeper access to her pussy. If he were to die right now, Bucky was sure he couldn’t have done so happier, and more fulfilled than right now. With Y/N and this heavenly feeling consuming him whole. He didn’t know that this is what sex could feel like - what passion did to a moment as intimate as this one.

“You’re so- so big... feels so good.”

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart. Taking me so well.” His hand grabbed hers and pushed their interlocked fingers into the pillow by her head. “Fuck, I wanna stay like this forever.”

“Ah! Then don’t... don’t stop.” 

“Shhhh, baby. I won’t.” Her walls clenched around him and Bucky could feel the precum already dripping from him. He took his other hand and guided in over her breast and stomach and down to her pussy to rub on her clit - tight little circles that made her open her mouth wide and let silent screams escape.

She gripped him even tighter, and Bucky struggled to pull out almost all the way before rocking back in. He grunted into her chest, sweat assembling on his forehead and heartbeat pounding against his ribcage. “Yes, come on. Let go, you’re such a good girl, so - fuck - so perfect.”

“Bucky! Shit, shit!”

“Oh fuck.” Y/N’s walls pulsed unrelenting, pushing him closer and closer to the edge as well. Her fingers scratched his back, her legs squeezing him so close, caging him in her embrace and there was no place he’d rather be right now. He watched as the pleasure washed over her, eyes rolling to the back of her head and muscles taught while unholy words slipped her tongue. 

When the grip on his cock loosened he started moving again. Her whispers engraved themselves into his memory while he chased his own high. He could feel the pleasure already tingling in his toes and when Y/n grabbed his head and bit his lip before soothing it over with her tongue, they overtook his whole body. Bucky moaned into her open mouth, his arm snuck beneath her head while the other grabbed the sheets as he shot his hot load into her pussy, coating her soft walls with white release.

He needed several seconds to recover from the powerful feeling still bouncing through his limbs. His body lowered itself onto hers, careful not to hurt her, he could feel her heartbeat against his skin - pumping in perfect rhythm with his.

When he felt confident enough to not have his muscles give out under him, propped himself up on his elbow. Bucky’s hands instantly shot to Y/N’s face where they drew out her features with careful fingers. Her eyes opened with a smile, her own hands moving up and down his back, covering him in comfort and love.

“Did I tell you that you are perfect?”

Y/N hummed dreamily. “Only about fifty times.”

“Not enough then.” Bucky shook his head, a short curl falling over his forehead, matching the rest of his tussled hair. “Thank you, Y/N, for everything. For sharing this beautiful moment with me.”

“Why does this feel like a goodbye?” She asked unsettled, but not moving in the slightest. She was just as close to him as before - enclosing him with her enchanting aura and that wholesome look in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” Bucky kissed her nose. “This is just the beginning.”

𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓

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[tozettastone]

I know I've been posting about other stuff today, but I've actually been working on the SPN Sabriel fic: 'Be Not Afraid, Behold'.

here's a little bit from the start of the next chapter:

-----

Sam woke with a jolt.

"You okay?" Dean asked, only halfway paying attention to the road that rose endlessly on ahead of them. Its sinuous shape snaked behind them, too, a long stretch of black asphalt that drifted off into the horizon, swallowed by a greenish mass of forest in the distance. There wasn't a lot on either side, and the only other vehicles were freight.

"Um," said Sam, squinting. The impala was a familiar rumble around him. He sat up. "Yeah... Weird dream?"

He rarely dreamed when he slept beside Gabriel, but now that he was back on the road with his brother, he was making up for lost time.

"Sounded like a nightmare." Dean was suddenly really attentive to that empty road, avoiding even the potential for eye contact with Sam.

It was fading now. What had been so clear and reasonable in the landscape of his dreaming mind was now confused and impossible to grasp. The tatters that remained of it were only an uneasy memory...

"Might've been." He fumbled for his phone beneath his seat belt, realised he didn't actually have Jess's number since she'd got a new phone, and then messaged Gabriel instead.

Hey, is Jess still on campus? She doing okay?

A response came three minutes later: Can't believe the first time you message me in a week is about a girl you dated last year. smh. She's fine btw. [Attachment: IMG_1101104].

The photo was a candid snap from one of the libraries at Stanford. Jess looked like she'd been surprised, looking up from her book only to be captured in digital media. She was as pretty as ever, but all Sam felt looking at the picture was—well, it was nice of Gabriel to go out of his way to check on her.

Gabriel? Wasn't really a library kind of guy. It was kind of odd that he had even been close by enough to take the photo—a lucky coincidence, he guessed.

Thank you, Sam sent, and then shoved his phone away.

"Sooo..." Dean drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel. "That a girl?"

"Uh." Sam rubbed his nose. "A friend. Weird dream was about her? I guess. I don't even remember it really. I was just... checking in."

A long pause. "Does 'uh, friend' have a name?"

"Jess? She's really a friend though. We went out one time and I broke it off." And hadn't his recent experience with the Woman in White, Constance, really made him feel good about that choice to sit down with Jess and talk about it? One date didn't have to mean a commitment, of course, but now in hindsight he was pretty glad to have left no expectations behind him.

"Huh," repeated Dean. "What, was she ugly?"

"Was she—? No, Dean." He sighed deeply. "Jess isn't ugly. We... Just didn't fit."

This was a highly editorialised version of events, and he could almost physically hear Gabriel interrupting in the back of his own mind: Is that what they're calling it? Do you remember what did fit? It was my—

Sam hauled his train of thought back onto its rails. Fortunately, his mental image of Gabriel was a lot more manageable than the real one.

He already missed him. It ached like an absent limb. The last time he'd felt like this was years ago, leaving Dean behind on his way to California.

Gabriel typically drifted in and out of Sam's life every second day or so with what now felt like surprising ease. For Sam, few relationships had ever been easy. He'd moved around too much growing up for that. For more than a decade it had just been Dean, Dad and Bobby. Those bonds were important—even when he didn't really want them to be—but they sure weren't easy.

...At some point, Sam was going to have to talk to Dean about Gabriel. He thought this thought intellectually, but even as he did, a less cerebral part of his brain—one which dealt with feelings like anger and fear and disgust—wondered if it was true. Maybe he could just ...avoid talking to Dean about anything Gabriel related, ever.

It wasn't that Dean was homophobic. Not... really homophobic, anyway. But they weren't the kind of touchy-feely people who talked about their feelings. And god only knew Sam didn't want to finally find their Dad after dropping that particular bomb on Dean. He could already see that playing out.

He licked his teeth. This was pretty clearly not the time to talk to Dean about any of the, um, gay stuff.

Can't even say it in your head, huh? sneered a little voice inside him. This one didn't sound much like Gabriel. Sam's meanest and most self destructive impulses never did. The, um, gay stuff, he mocked.

He set his jaw and tilted his head until his neck popped, with the sound of synovial fluid stretching, releasing gases between joints. Pop-pop, soft and satisfying, like a release valve for the tension in his spine.

Dean pulled a face at the noise and turned the radio up.

Silently, Sam turned towards his window, watching the road stream endlessly by. He didn't check his phone.

[denimbex1986]

'...This weekend a good friend invited me to a filmed play of what was billed as a radical new version of Anton Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya.

And playing ALL EIGHT PARTS in this retelling of a 125-plus-year-old Chekhov story was none other than the actor Andrew Scott.

Netflix’s Ripley.

The tortured gay heartthrob from last year’s All Of Us Strangers.

The hot priest from Fleabag.

Moriarity from the long-running BBC series Sherlock.

Among others.

You watch this guy nimbly jumping back and forth from one character to another, sometimes in mere seconds and other times in minutes, or monologues, as he quips, cajoles, argues, eats and occasionally even, with the use of his hands, shoulder, neck and breath, simultaneously portray two different male and female characters making love to each other, and all you can think about initially is….

How?????

How is this possible? How is he able to do this?

And then… who imagined it?

Well, it was adapted last year by the playwright Simon Stephens, who a decade ago theatrically shed light on and likely helped change the way we thought about autism in the groundbreaking play The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-Time (Note: Adapted from the novel by Mark Haddon, it’s won most major playwriting awards).

And he is billed as co-creating it with both Scott and Sam Yates, a 40ish British stage and sometimes television and film director known for his unusual approach to both new and classical material.

Okay.

But then you ask yourself…

Why????? Why do this?

Why do we need this? Why do it at all?

Well, because someone, or a handful of ones, thought of it and needed to think of it. Something about the world they lived in, or events they were personally experiencing, prompted them to think of it. And then move forward with recreating something (and a bunch of fictional someones) from the past that would allow them to understand their present in a different way.

It’s not as if before seeing this filmed version of a play done last year at the National Theatre I was excited about seeing Uncle Vanya done as a one-man show.

Or frankly, any production of Uncle Vanya at all. Nor, I venture to say, is the average person.

But watching Mr. Scott (Note: I so want to call him Andrew, or even Andy)… okay Andrew… throw himself so fully into instantly becoming so many people – with no wigs, no costumes, only a trajectory of mangled feelings, conflicts and eventually emotional outcomes, denials and realizations – well, it was about as contemporary as it gets for me.

It seemed that this film, of this play, had nothing at all to do with Uncle Vanya, or even the playwright himself.

What it addressed were the myriad of emotions, sometimes life and death ones, we are ALL trying to manage as best we can these days. Only to be shown there is no managing.

There is only being truthful about how and what we feel, taking the actions we believe fitting and holding out some hope for a better future when they don’t work out.

And, well, to keep trying.

It might sound a bit trite, but that’s what this new version of Vanya, the one I didn’t think I needed but some other people imagined I might need, did for me.

It made me realize once again that navigating what we call the politics of today is not much different for our generation than it ever was.

And that, lucky for us, back then Chekhov was quite an imaginative fellow himself.'

[asachuu]

Okay, I’ve drawn some edgy stuff before and I’ll obviously do it again, but this…well, it’s probably not a lot in the general scheme of things, but as for this account so far, who knows.

Content warning for blood, and I’m not sure if it counts as mild body horror as well or not, but it’s better to be safe.

He may be a horror beyond human comprehension to you, I understand him just fine…but all jokes aside, I suppose I’ll explain the thought process here before rambling on about all else, just because I considered posting it a while ago already…and I’m sure it requires that.

In short, the context is an AU I initially thought about just to draw a single shitpost which I still haven’t ended up making, and I’m truly hoping nobody has come up this before as I generally don’t interact with the BSD fandom as a whole, so I wouldn’t really know.

Regardless, I guess you could say it’s a worse version of Fifteen in which Arthur doesn’t end up taking in Chuuya’s ability, but Paul’s instead, and the logistics of this are really wonky at the moment since I haven’t exactly spent my days planning it out, but oh well. My thought was, if that had happened for whatever reason, in the scenario that the plot would have continued the exact same way as Fifteen up until the fight between Arthur, Dazai and Chuuya, what would have been the outcome? On one hand, in the better case, it could have gone the same way, perhaps with Arthur forgetting he could have used an ability other than his own, ultimately failing and meeting the same exact fate as in the novel— believing he ended his partner’s life and having all end on that note, nothing truly changing…but on the other hand, if he hadn’t forgotten about it, perhaps he could have won the fight much easier in some entirely different way, and what would have been of it all then if he’d been the lone survivor, succeeding in taking in Chuuya’s ability, yet learning what he’d truly done, what and who he’d sacrificed for that knowledge, even what he’d actually used to win the fight itself, which would have been the last thing left of his former associate?

You can interpret this in two ways, either as genuine speculation of the most awful outcome or merely an excuse to draw some messed up semi-Guivre-style abomination that I now believe I should have made far, far worse considering how it’s described in Stormbringer, but no matter which it is as not even I know, I’m quite tempted to write something about it over on AO3, although my ongoing WIP is slightly weighing me down. I could potentially postpone the latter, but due to some personal circumstances, I’m not sure if that’s the right decision here…but who knows. Either way, it has major angst potential, and I’m one to latch onto that sometimes.

Now, as for the artwork itself, to set aside that concept…I’m not particularly sure how I eventually got this done as it’s one of those drawings that were threatened with deletion several times, looked absolutely unpublishable throughout the whole process before something miraculously changed five hours in, but it’s here anyway. I was first meant to use my usual artstyle for this, then I got inspired by a few other posts and tried something close to them for a while, yet I somehow wound up with a style similar to Beast again, which…wasn’t the intention. Nonetheless, I’m quite content with it, which I’m really surprised by considering how much I truly believed I was only finishing this one up to send in a chat once and never think of it again.

All that said, maybe this would have had a few bloodstains less if I hadn’t been listening to some stuff that, although lyrically completely unrelated, probably still played a good part in what I eventually turned to, so the playlist to thank is Chronostasis, Deus Ex Machina, Lovers In Abyss — Release Hallucination, 断罪の焔と恋人たちの輪舞曲 — Imperial Circus Dead Decadence, and if this is just an excuse to throw these songs here, I’ll never tell.

[cypanache]

I first followed you (a decade ago??? help) because your version of Don and Sloan -had and still has tbh - a choke grip on my heart

Oh my gosh! Don and Sloan! I remember to this day watching they're fight in Bullies when he puts Sloan's chin up and then they're fight afterwards 'you think I'm here to make you feel better' and thinking ... oh you two care about each other, but just writing it off as like a 'cj/toby' style friendship (which I can totally work with btw, cj & toby are soulmates, fight me on that).

I have never been happier to be proven wrong. You should have heard the inhuman noises I made in the last episode of season one.

Also I think between Ben/Leslie; Don/Sloan; Obidala; Tyrion/Sansa and my SVU ships of Carisi/Rollins; and Barba/Benson my shipping preferences can apparently be summed up as take one slightly acerbic asshole pragmatist, who is fundamentally a really decent guy, and watch him walk through fire for his badass wife.

Zemo x Sharon ... okay take the 'fundamentally good part out'

But yeah basically it's all the same ship

P.S. When I threw the 'tell me why you follow me' message up I never expected to be walking down fandom memory lane, but I am loving it. Thank you all.

[icemankazansky]

We need to talk about Storm.

I really, really did not want to have to make this post, but the longer I sit with it, the more I feel that not addressing it would be a mistake on my part.

Last week, by complete accident, I came across a brand new Top Gun author who had several stories that blatantly ripped off Ice's backstory and plot from Storm. Briefly:

Ice was shot down in the Gulf in the early '90s. The accident severely injured his hip, which was replaced mostly with metal implants and has extensive scarring. The injury is permanent and still painful, and he still attends rehab and does most of his exercise in the pool. He has PTSD symptoms including nightmares. After Ice is shot down, he returns to TOPGUN where Maverick is still working, and Maverick helps him with his physical injury and his PTSD.

If you thought that was a brief summary of Ice in Storm, you are correct, but it is also a list of things this person has "borrowed" from Storm. She did not speak to me. She did not list me or Storm as the source of these aspects of their story.

TGM brought a lot of new fans to Top Gun fandom, and while bad eggs are in the minority, this is not the first time I've been stolen from since Top Gun: Maverick came out. It's been smaller stuff, mostly. People ripping off gifsets and @topgunsocial posts. I have a good friend who discovered, a couple months ago, that the universe she created in her large and singular Top Gun OG story had "inspired" another author to write a "what if" version of that same story. This new author did not speak to my friend. They did not ask permission to use the universe or the plot she had created.

This is theft. This is plagiarism.

Storm is important to me. I have been writing in this universe I created for 11 years. I have written more than a novel's worth of words for this universe, between the four stories of the Storm series itself and the 16 from the Storm universe. Fandom governs itself, essentially. We're all on the honor system. And taking something to which I have devoted more than a decade of work violates that system. Stealing the work of other fandom creators is dishonorable, dishonest, and disrespectful.

After I discovered the plagiarism, I asked a friend to look into it for me. She spoke to the author, who claimed she didn't know anyone owned the "headcanons," and that she would "reach out [to me] and check and take the posts down if [I'm] not happy with [them]." Shockingly, I have not heard a single word from this person. She added a note crediting me for the "headcanon" to one of the stories, and I guess she feels that should cover it.

I am not writing this post to shame this person. Please do not look for her or her stories. I am writing this to clarify what may be a confusing or debatable issue: Taking the work of other fandom creators without their knowledge or permission and presenting it as your own is unacceptable. It is theft; it is plagiarism; it is not okay.

Honestly, this incident has hurt me deeply. I feel violated and used. And I think what hurts me the most is the mutuals I saw in the kudos and comments for the stories that ripped off my content. To quote Tori Amos, "I guess on days like this, you know who your friends are."

[douwatahima]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

thank you @thermoskind for tagging me!

three four ships: look, i tried to narrow this down to three but i thought of these four and got sad at the thought of not including them all so y'all are getting an extra one.

doumeki/watanuki/himawari (xxxholic) - MY BABIES WHO I LITERALLY NAMED MYSELF AFTER!!! listen, my son watanuki deserves to have a stoic but protective boyfriend and a sunshiney girlfriend who hug him lots and help him see he's worth loving. AND my daughter himawari deserves to be loved without fear of accidentally doing harm. AND my son doumeki deserves to be with the people he cares about despite the fact that they're both self sacrificing as fuck. this is the trio of my dreams and i will love them until i die.

satoshi/daisuke (dn angel) - so like...this ship is from a manga that a) isn't popular and b) i would not recommend despite the fact that it had a vice grip on me as a fourteen year old. that being said these two anime boys are truly THE BLUEPRINT against which i compared all other ships for YEARS. like, there was a time where how much i loved a ship could be directly correlated to how much they reminded me of satoshi and daisuke. they were IT. and this ship truly gave us everything! the romeo and juliet parallels of them coming from feuding families!!! the enemies to friends (to lovers in my heart) of it all!!! they are THEE fire and ice ship!!! THEE sunshine one and stoic one!!! literally never talk to me about the canonical dn angel ending i want to believe in my imagined ending where they were allowed to be in love.

nico/karolina (runaways) - this is specifically about the comic book version but the tv show version is also good! i remember reading the first few comics series like...a decade ago and OHHHH MAN these two messy girls really got me. i remember reading the first conversation that implied karolina was a lesbian and becoming the living embodiment of this emoji 👀. and then nico's whole mess of a sexuality crisis after karolina leaves? poetic cinema if i've ever seen it. i spent so many years holding a torch for these two that when they actually got together in the comics in 2018 i legit bawled my eyes out. i read the words "i'm not confused anymore, karrie. i'm not scared. i know what i want" and i DIED. their first kiss has been the background on my phone for nearly five years. they are my everything i am soooo serious.

ed/stede (ofmd) - OH YOU KNOW THE GAY PIRATES HAD TO BE HERE. when i say they rewired my brain that is in no way and exaggeration. i can vividly recall scrolling through tumblr and seeing how much people were talking about this show and thinking "okay but is it really gay or is this just another tumblr thing?" LIKE. I HAD NO IDEA. staying up until two a.m. to watch episodes 9 and 10 and feeling every human emotion all at once is a moment i will never recreate. i could've done anything that night. i could've fought god and won. it's ten months later and i still think about these two every fucking day. i truly can't wait to see more of them. david jenkins thank you for my life.

first ever ship:

arnold/helga (hey arnold) - i was like...seven and didn't know what fandom was yet but i watched every episode with baited breath waiting for these two to get together lmao. the romeo and juliet episode is burned into my brain for all time. when the jungle movie came out and they finally got together after OVER A DECADE of waiting i literally went out and bought a cake to celebrate.

last song:

grace kelly by felix hagan & the family - what can i say? this song is a bop!

last film:

glass onion - listen, i would watch benoit blanc solve murders for another fifty movies and never get bored. also janelle monae i am free on thursday if you are also free on thursday and want to meet up on thursday when i am free.

currently reading:

i'm between books at the moment but the one i most recently finished was lost boy by christina henry. it was genuinely the most five out of ten book i've ever read. like...not bad by any means but so meh i have no words.

my plan is to read the magicians by lev grossman next because i miss those characters more than i can say but like hell am i gonna watch the show again after...all that. i heard the books are worse soooooo we'll see how far i get.

currently watching:

the mayfair witches - i recently watched the first two episodes and i really enjoyed them! i've never read the books so everything is new and exciting to me. i'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes!

currently consuming:

a caramilk bar. ❤

currently craving:

the ofmd season 2 trailer. please djenks i need to see ed again my crops are dying.

tagging:

i feel like most of the people i would tag have already done this so instead i'm gonna do a cop out and say if you're reading this consider yourself tagged!

[tariancadman]

How could we ever just be friends?

Once again I have written a shitty fanfiction. You're welcome.

Read on Ao3

Summary:  The sound of the rain greeted him as well as a soaked Chaol. Dorian took another deep breath.

“Look Chaol, whatever you’re going to say, I just want you to know I’m sorry-”

“Do you want to dance with me?” Chaol interrupted. 

Dorian’s mind simply stopped. He was like the human version of the loading symbol. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before managing a broken, “What?”

“Do you want to dance with me?” Chaol asked again. There was an odd look on Chaol’s face, something like hope. Dorian gazed into his brown eyes and remembered the text he had sent. The part where he’d mentioned his gorgeous eyes, the ones he felt like he was being sucked into every time he looked at them. 

***

The rain beat on the windows violently, as it had been for the last few hours. The sound of it was oddly relaxing. Even the thunder that seemed to shake the entire house was nice in a way.

Dorian had been sitting in his room on the windowsill since the rain had started. It had proved pleasant background noise while he finished his homework. He had plugged his earbuds into his phone, played music from one of his playlists, and finished most of the homework he had.

About an hour ago now, Dorian’s father had sent a maid up to tell him the old man had left the house and would be back later tonight. Dorian had thanked the woman and settled back into his work. The house had quieted after his father had left, most people taking his absence as a chance to sit for a while and rest. His father would have wanted him to go tell the people to get back to work, but he couldn’t care less what they did. They deserved a break anyway after working for his father for so long.

Dorian sighed, pulling his earbuds out and packing his notebooks, pencil case, computer, and other things into his backpack and placing it by his bedroom door. Just then, he received a text.

Aelin: Sorry Dorian, I don’t think we can hang out today. My dad is all worked up about the storm and doesn’t want me to leave the house until it’s over :(

Dorian quickly texted her back saying it was all okay, that they could hang out next weekend instead. He couldn’t help the slight disappointment he felt though. They’d been meant to binge Heartstopper while he moped over Chaol, and Aelin held him while he cried.

Dorian jumped onto his bed, thinking about what he could do with the new free time he had. Immediately he thought of face timing Chaol, but that wasn’t a good idea. Last week, Dorian had been drunk and sent Chaol a text about how in love with him he was. When he had woken up in the morning, there had been a bunch of texts and missed phone calls from Chaol saying they needed to talk. Dorian had been avoiding him since, not wanting to hear Chaol say he didn’t want to be friends anymore and that he had never wanted Dorian like that.

Dorian sat back up and ran a hand through his hair before an idea popped into his head. Grabbing his phone, Dorian ran down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Why hello there, boy,” Thalia said from where she sat on a barstool. “Is there something you’d like for me to make for you?”

Thalia was his family’s cook. She had been around for decades now and was the only person who dared to speak ill of Dorian’s father openly. Dorian thought of her almost as a grandmother. She’d always been nice to him, giving him extra sweets when he was younger and talking to him about school when his parents ignored him.

“Not today, Thalia. If it’s okay, though, I’d like to use the kitchen to bake something.”

Thalia smiled and slid off the barstool and hobbled over to the door. “Don’t let me stop you, sweetheart.”

The door shut behind Thalia and Dorian quickly went to work, grabbing everything he needed.

***

Dorian sat at the kitchen island while he waited for the last batch of cookies to finish cooking. The smell of fresh cookies had engulfed the room, making Dorian’s stomach rumble. He was forcing himself to wait for them to cool off enough so that he didn’t burn his mouth when he took a bite of one.

The oven beeped, signaling there was only a minute left on the timer just as a young maid, the same one who had told him his father was leaving earlier, walked into the room. She wore an apron over a nice pair of black slacks and a white shirt. Her dark curls were pulled back into a tight ponytail on the top of her head, and Dorian thought he could see some sparkle on her eyelids.

“Hello Sir. There is a man at the door asking to see you. He says he’s your friend. Would you like for me to let him in?” The woman said, her voice soft.

Dorian couldn’t hide his surprise. The calls and text messages from Chaol had stopped yesterday, and he’d thought that would be the end of that. He’d cried for hours, knowing he had finally fucked up their friendship in an unfixable way.

The woman stood there waiting for his answer, but Dorian was still a little shocked that Chaol was here and couldn’t even tell her not to call him sir. The timer on the oven decided right then was the best time to go off and Dorian went to grab the oven mitts, moving on autopilot, but before he could, the woman grabbed his hands.

“Go talk to your friend sir, I’ll deal with your cookies.” She was smiling now, as if she knew something he didn’t.

“I-um-Thank you. I’m going to go, uh, do that.” Dorian managed. “Thank you, ma’am, very much,” He yelled as he ran through the halls towards the front door.

As he neared the closed door and saw Chaol’s silhouette through the glass, his stomach turned over. Maybe Chaol had come over here to yell at him or to give him back something he’d left at Chaol’s place. Dorian pushed the nerves down and took and deep breath, opening the door.

The sound of the rain greeted him as well as a soaked Chaol. Dorian took another deep breath.

“Look Chaol, whatever you’re going to say, I just want you to know I’m sorry-”

“Do you want to dance with me?” Chaol interrupted.

Dorian’s mind simply stopped. He was like the human version of the loading symbol. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before managing a broken, “What?”

“Do you want to dance with me?” Chaol asked again. There was an odd look on Chaol’s face, something like hope. Dorian gazed into his brown eyes and remembered the text he had sent. The part where he’d mentioned his gorgeous eyes, the ones he felt like he was being sucked into every time he looked at them.

Dorian, not trusting himself to speak, nodded his head and gestured to the coat closet. Chaol smiled and nodded, understanding what he was trying to convey. He always did that, understood Dorian without even needing to try. It was aggravating.

Dorian moved on autopilot once again, grabbing his shoes and tying them quickly. When he stood up and moved back into the doorway, his eyes met with Chaol’s outstretched hand. Dorian took hold of it, Chaol pulling him out of the house and reaching behind Dorian to close the door.

Dorian closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling the scent of Chaol when he was so close to him and savoring the feeling of their chests pressed together. Chaol’s hand tightened its hold and then he pulled him down the steps into the pouring rain.

The cold soaked through his clothes in seconds, chilling him to the bone, but Chaol didn’t stop moving, instead he pulled him into the garden and let go of Dorian’s hand. Chaol reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, pressing a button before tucking it back into the pocket.

“Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez and Em Beihold started played through speakers Dorian couldn’t see. Chaol reached out his hand again, looking slightly nervous now. His wet shirt clung to his body, and Dorian wanted to trail his fingers along his muscles, but he reminded himself he couldn’t.

Cautiously, Dorian grabbed Chaol’s hand, and Chaol pulled him in close. One of Chaol’s hands went around his waist and the other stayed holding his hand. Chaol moved them into a dance that was incredibly romantic.

“You told me once a few years ago that the most romantic thing you could think of was dancing in the rain,” Chaol whispered in Dorian’s ear. Dorian’s heart raced as he realized what Chaol was implying and at the thought that Chaol had paid attention to something so small.

Chaol spun him and pulled him back in, pressing himself to him as tightly as possible. Dorian looked up slightly and brought the hand he had rested on Chaol’s shoulder to his face, gently cupping it and running his thumb along his cheekbone. Chaol shuddered, his face looking absolutely wrecked as he closed his eyes.

Dorian smiled softly. “You also remembered my favorite song.”

“Yes,” Chaol whispered. “I’ve wanted to speak with you.” Chaol opened his eyes and they stilled, staring into each other’s souls.

Dorian swallowed, letting himself hope. He watched as Chaol’s Adam’s apple bobbed and as his tongue came out to wet his lips. Dorian forgot about the rain causing him to shiver, focused solely on Chaol.

“I read your text, and at first, I simply stared at it. I couldn’t believe what I had read, I thought, he must be pranking me, but then you didn’t answer any of the messages I sent you and I knew it was real, that you were panicking because you thought I would be mad with you. I have been trying to contact you so I could tell you that you are not alone in your feelings.” Chaol pressed Dorian tighter into him.

“I love you, Dorian. Your eyes sparkle when you are happy and your laugh is beautiful and you me feel dumb and I love it. I have loved you ever since we were children and I want to spend every moment of every day with you. I have spent the last years thinking that I was destined to be alone forever because I had found my soulmate, but he did not see me as his.” When Chaol finishes, he is panting.

Dorian smiles and then pulls away from Chaol to fall over laughing. Chaol stands there surprised only to realize how stupid this whole situation is and starts laughing as well.

Dorian stands back up, grabbing Chaol’s face in his hands and resting their foreheads together. “I can’t believe we have been desperately in love with each other this entire time and not noticed it. We are possibly the most oblivious people ever.”

Chaol chuckles and stares into Dorian’s eyes as he says, “Did my romantic gesture live up to your expectations?”

Dorian’s smile grows. “Yes, 100 times yes. Now shut up and kiss me.”

Chaol pulls him in close and suddenly spins Dorian away from him before leaning him over like in the movies and presses his mouth to Dorians. When they pull away from each other, both out of breath, Dorian says softly, “Would you like to eat fresh cookies with me and cuddle in front of the fire, wishing we hadn’t spent so much time in the rain?”

Chaol laughs, the sound loud and uninhibited. “Of course I would, Dorian.”

[welcome-to-the-cafe]

Clover (2014)

我回来了！

对不起大家（大家主要指我好友X小姐），进一年在工作上比较忙，回家重没精力写高质量博客。但我从没放弃这个电影评价/讨论平台，也从没放弃对亚裔电影的爱好。说起工作，咱们讲我最近看的喜剧爱情片。、

The more specific a trope, the more memorable it is. A seemingly cold, well-put together, highly competent bespectacled guy flirts/bullies a messier, plucky, strong-willed girl.

I think my friend has mentioned Clover before, or I must have seen some part of it, or maybe the vibe is just so familiar. Maybe there was an anime along similar lines? Something like the class president dating the resident gyaru? Or some wuxia show where the bumbling female mc catches the heart of the demon king?

Regardless why this dynamic feels so familiar, the particular setting of the movie being a corporate office became more and more interesting to me as the movie progressed. Saya (the girl) and Tsuge (the guy) 's love bully dynamic honestly isn't as strong as the trailer implied; the plot moves past this pretty quickly, and the main conflict is a semi love-quadilateral, with Saya and Tsuge in the middle, and Haruki (Saya's childhood love) and Shiori (Tsuge's boss' spoiled sister) pursuing them respectively. There really wasn't much question whether Saya or Tsuge would reciprocate those competitors, but whether the relationship would stand the tests of mutual insecurity, and honestly, motherfucking capitalism and toxic work culture. I'm not sure if the movie set out to say anything about the latter topics, and maybe I'm reading a lot more into it (and Japanese work culture a decade ago; damn 2014 is the last decade???) than I should, but the look into (a movie version) of a Japanese office was...elucidating.

Main thoughts:

The CEO demoting the older subordinate/midlevel manager to chauffeur for spending time with his own family. The CEO is portrayed as a huge asshole who exploits his underlings, and this was treated as a shocking moment for us and Tsuge, but what bothered me most was how the older man just went along with it cheerily. I wondered if the old man not just leaving the company is realistic in their work culture.

The entire situation of Tsuge being Saya's direct manager being portrayed as okay while Shiori being Tsuge's direct superior (kinda) being shown as exploitative/tyrannical. In-universe however, both were pretty much celebrated by the company and coworkers. I wondered if Japan had more lax workplace romance rules than the US; it was plainly obvious that both relationships affected their participants ability to perform their tasks (ok not Shiori, bc she never did any work anyways). Tsuge directly prevented Saya from making a huge blunder and covered for her; did he only do that because they were dating? Upper management would like to know...if upper management wasn't also interested in bonking him.

I noticed that most of Saya's female coworkers were around her age and also single. One funny scene was Saya's work buddy scanning the lobby of the hotel they work at and letter grading their male comrades for dateability: age, face, body, money, etc. A slew of C or below, and then Tsuge comes and is an A+. There is only one older woman, and she is also single, and mostly serves a comic relief (and a bit of a jealous gossiper). One of Saya's friends' gets married. I wondered if Saya and most of her coworkers would just leave the workforce after getting married, and if they wanted to or were expected to.

Saya and Haruki deal very differently with the trauma of being ripped away from each other in middle school; Saya swears to save herself for him forever and date nobody else, while Haruki dates around but forever feels unfulfilled, at the same time purposely not contacting Saya because "it'll make him weak". It's interesting that finally meeting each other again seems to be the impetus for both to stop the yearning. I'm glad Saya was pretty firm in rejecting Haruki after her relationship with Tsuge began, but still treated him as a good friend.

In the end, the CEO wryly states he can't afford to punish Tsuge for choosing his personal life over career this time due him being too useful. Interesting that Tsuge being so useful and hardworking, and being mostly a hardass who didn't have much time for women, was what put him in the sights of Shiori in the first place. In another less gracious version of the story, Shiori and the CEO could easily retaliate against Tsuge and especially Saya for the humiliation in a myriad of ways.

A lighthearted fun movie for most of it. I think the significance of the title is kinda...shoehorned. Saya feels finally feels lucky, but luck aint got nothing to do with it.