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hottpinkpenguin · 2 months

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Letting Someone Go - Part 5 (The End!)

Benny Cross X Female Reader part 1 is here! part 2 is here! part 3 is here! part 4 is here! A/n: ahhh it's always so hard to write a satisfying ending. i rlly hope you enjoy it, and i want to thank everyone for reading this series!! i am officially taking Bikeriders requests, so if this story got your mind thinking about what other Benny/Vandals boys content you'd like, feel free to send it my way! Word Count: 3683 Warnings: none for this chapter

You woke up the next morning with a split lip, a black eye, and a hangover. Before even opening your eyes, you knew you were back at Zipco’s house based on the strong Patchouli-incense-over-bourbon smell. Not on the lumpy couch though - you were in his bed. You opened one eye and instantly regretted it: the world started to spin and you barely managed to grab at the wastebasket someone had left by the bedside before you emptied your stomach. You wretched until there was nothing left to come up, just bile and bloody spit. Unwilling to test your vertigo by standing up and walking down the hall to the bathroom, you called out for Zipco in a watery-thin rasp.

“Zip?”

Silence. It seemed like the house was empty. Zipco was many things, but a quiet housemate was not among them. Wherever he went, he was slamming doors, knocking furniture, thumping on the rickety floorboards.

“Zip ain’t here.”

The voice startled you and you whipped your head around - another immediate regret, as it renewed your nausea. Benny was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, smoking a cigarette and watching you closely. He must have slept here, you realized, as you took in the wrinkled tshirt stained with your mascara and blood and his mussed hair.

“Where’s Zip?” you groaned, shutting your eyes in a vain attempt to stop the spinning.

Benny stood up and walked out of the bedroom as he called back to you. “He took Kathy home. I asked him to stay with her for the night, keep an eye on things.”

Kathy. Last night. The memory of that awful night came back to you hard and with a vengeance. You whimpered, pressing your face down on the pillow as if you could blot it out. From down the hall, you heard the sound of Benny rummaging around in the kitchen for a few moments. You willed yourself to focus on that noise and breathe deeply through your nose and out through your mouth.

You felt the mattress give under his weight as he came back and perched on the edge of the bed. “Here.” He handed you a bag of ice, coaxing you to lift your head and place the ice against your swollen lip. He brushed back strands of your hair out of your face with a tenderness you’d never seen from him before.

“Thank you,” you croaked, voice cracking. “For last night. Helping me. For everything.”

He nodded softly and offered you a cup of water. “Try to drink it,” he encouraged. You obeyed, wincing at the bad taste in your mouth and the soreness in your throat as you swallowed. The water settled in your stomach with a cooling rush, and it helped lessen your headache marginally. Benny just kept sitting there, fussing over you like a nursemaid. It was achingly touching, but surprising and strangely intimate. After a few moments, you cleared your throat and forced yourself to sit upright, moving slowly and deliberately so as not to set off the spins again. He helped you prop yourself up against the headboard, one of Zip’s pillows tucked at the small of your back.

“How’s Kathy?” Why you asked that question was anyone’s guess. You were grasping at straws, overwhelmed by Benny’s presence and his assiduous attention to you. You couldn’t care less how Kathy was doing, and you knew you were risking the moment between you two - whatever it was - by bringing her up.

Predictably, Benny’s face crumpled from concern to something harder. He held your gaze with a wary seriousness. “You really wanna know how my wife is right now?”

Wife.

You pursed your lips - bad move, you felt the split open up and fresh blood coat your tongue - and looked down at the water glass in your hand so he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes. You hadn’t known Kathy was that to him. You’d never really considered the possibility. Four years is a hell of a long time, a reprimanding voice in your head reminded you. What did you expect?

Why didn’t the guys tell you? A flash of anger at Zipco and Cal and Johnny flared in your chest. It was irrational, you knew, and a displacement of your real pain. The anger fizzled out as quickly as it had come up, leaving you alone with a sinking grief.

Benny must have noticed your reaction. “You didn’t know.” Not a question, an observation. One he must have suspected because you heard the sound of confirmation in his voice. His words didn’t sound unkind, although there was an edge of pity there that you hated. Unable to meet his eyes, you simply shook your head.

“I figured one of the guys told you.”

“Yea, I would’ve figured that too.”

You ran a finger along the lip of the water glass. Anything for a distraction. A thick silence that threatened to bloom into something permanent settled between you.

“Congrats,” you managed with a small, bitter laugh. “How long?”

Benny turned away from you, bracing his hands on his knees and looking at the wall. “Y/n, don’t do this.”

“Do what?” you demanded, embarrassment staining your cheeks. Not only had he just dropped this hundred pound disappointment on you, but now he expected you not to struggle with its weight?

“Hurt yourself,” he replied sadly, turning back to you. His eyes drank you in and caused your breath to tangle in your throat. Once again, you couldn’t hold his gaze, and let your eyes drop to your hands. You knocked that one set of your knuckles were scraped and bruised, and a snippet of memory - men dragging you up a stairwell, you thrashing against them and screaming out for help - smacked you like a freight train. The sob that bubbled in your lungs refused to be stifled.

At the sound of it, Benny stiffened. “I’m sorry. I should’ve left. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll go, send Zip back over.”

You looked back up at him and found you could look through him. Talking to the wall behind Benny, you felt your mouth moving as words came pouring out before you fully knew what you wanted to say. “Aight then, Benny, you best get your stuff and get out, then.”

It was the exact same line you’d said to him four years ago when he’d made you tell yourself that he was in love with someone else. Unlike then, this time your words dripped with poison.

He flinched slightly at your words, and you figured that was about as much as you could hope for. Benny Cross was many things, but he would never be the kind of guy who would collapse for a woman. Especially not one that he didn’t love.

For a heartbeat or two, he looked at you while you looked through him. It was a test. Who would break first. Both of you knew the answer. Benny was incapable of breaking. You’d been craving that from him for too long and had been disappointed too many times before to delude yourself now. Benny was going to leave, exactly like you’d told him to. He wasn’t going to argue, or apologize, or ask why you were angry, or stubbornly ignore your dismissal in an attempt to get through to you. He was going to leave because that’s what he did. Although not with Kathy, that vicious inner voice reminded you. Just you.

Right on cue, Benny broke eye contact, hesitating momentarily before standing up from the edge of the bed. Your eyes followed him as he walked over to the chair he’d been sitting in, picked up his leather jacket and threw it on over his shoulders. The icy shell around your heart threatened to thaw as the realization that this might be the last moment you ever saw him overtook you.

He moved to leave without looking back to you, although he did stop at the door.

“Why’d you come back?” he asked, his voice low and full of something approaching emotion.

“For Brucie’s funeral,” you replied robotically.

You both knew it was a lie. Benny waited, turning slightly so his body was angled towards you, but still not looking up at you.

“What do you want me to say, Benny? That I came back for you? That I stayed away for so long because of you? You already know all that shit.”

He fidgeted with his leather riding gloves methodically, tucking them into the sleeves of his jacket. You’d never known Benny to care about stuff like that. You had the fleeting thought that he was stalling against what you both sensed would be your last goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled heavily. “I’m sorry for everything.”

And with that, Benny vanished once again from your life, leaving behind that all too familiar ache like a gaping hole in your chest.

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Benny was riding back to Kathy’s apartment when he realized that he didn’t want to. The last thing he wanted was to get an earful from Kathy, although he knew precisely that’s what was waiting for him. An earful for getting involved in another fight over the club, for getting involved with you, and for leaving her behind. He deserved it, but he didn’t want it.

He also didn’t want to turn around and back towards the girl he’d just left, with her face busted up and her spirit broken. All because she’d come back hoping for something from him. All she was going to get was disappointment. That’s all Benny had for anybody else. He’d disappointed Kathy by not being a good husband. He’d disappointed Johnny by not being a good Vandal, not being willing to take over the charter. And he’d disappointed y/n simply by not being good. Most of all, Benny was his own biggest disappointment. He realized, sitting on the back of his bike idling at a light that had long ago turned from red to green, that he wasn’t sure what he’d imagined for his life, but it sure as hell wasn’t this. It wasn’t watching the people around you get hurt, time and time again, all behind your own failures.

So, instead of turning left on 53rd St. to head home, Benny kept going straight on 55th until it linked up with Rte 34 in Naperville. He gassed up in Wyanet and didn’t stop until he hit the Nebraska line. Benny rode west until he got tired of staring at sunsets, and then turned north, meandering up into colder country.

Epilogue

At first, the running theory about what happened was that one of the guys from the night before had found Benny, somehow, on the way back from Zipco’s place and jumped him. Beat the shit out of him, took his bike, dumped him on the side of a road somewhere. Maybe even killed him. But, as weeks turned into months without any news and without a body, a different understanding took hold: Benny Cross had simply left.

Kathy stuck around but drifted steadily further away from the MC. She stopped showing up to Junker’s on Friday nights, stopped hanging out at the Vandals’ house parties, stopped asking Johnny if he’d heard from Benny. You saw her a few times in the years after Benny left, usually at the laundromat or the corner store, somewhere neutral. She never acknowledged you, and you figured that was probably the smart thing to do. There weren’t any words the two of you could exchange that would do anything for either of you. Better just to let sleeping dogs lie. At some point, you saw Kathy Cross for the last time, although you didn’t know it would be the last. Word reached the MC that she’d met some wealthy Cincinnati lawyer in a pop shop and had moved in with him a few weeks later, into some swanky highrise overlooking the Ohio River. You had a suspicion that Kathy’s days of logging time on the back of a bike were over.

While Kathy exited the Vandals’ scene, you found yourself quickly at the center of the club. You and Zipco decided after a few months that you made great friends, but shit roommates. You moved into your own place a few blocks down from Junker’s and opened a body shop for bikes with the money your daddy left you in the will. Your first employee was Cal, and your first customer was Johnny. From that day forward, the Vandals MC kept your business buzzing and your books balanced. You named the shop Cross Roads Bikes. Customers who didn’t know you asked why “cross roads” was two separate words; usually, you just told them that you’d been drunk when you filled out the business license application and had put a space in there by accident. Customers who knew you didn’t need to ask what happened.

In spite of that, somewhere along the way you woke up one day and realized that this was the closest you’d been to happy in a long long time, maybe ever. It struck you as strange, because since the day you’d met him, you’d only seen happiness as part of your future if Benny was in it. Yet, here you were: happy (ish) and Benny-less. Funny how the world works.

You didn’t know why Benny took off or where he’d gone, but you did know one thing: Benny broke three hearts the day he left McCook. Johnny took Benny’s absence harder than the woman who married him and the woman who loved him. Johnny changed the day Benny left. He seemed to age two days for every one that passed. His laughter dried up and his leadership got sour. Between Cal, Zipco, and a few of the other old guard, the Vandals held themselves together, but everyone could see that the winds of change were brewing, and the MC was on the edge of a permanent change. All that was left to do was to hold your breath and wait.

You were with Johnny Davis the day he died. You remembered the way that young kid had shot him, point blank, in some old abandoned parking lot on the western edge of town. All the light was gone from Johnny’s eyes by the time you reached him. The Vandals you knew died with him in that weedy parking lot that night.

Zipco left about a month later for Texas. He sent you a few postcards, called you a couple times. After a while, there wasn’t anything left to say. You never stopped sending him his favorite bottle of bourbon at Christmas. Every once in a while, a customer would come in from out of town and tell you that your shop was personally recommended to them by a drunk, grouchy old Latvian who worked on a shrimping boat outside of Corpus Christi.

One by one, the new Vandals stopped coming into your shop for their repairs and tune-ups. That was fine with you. You didn’t recognize any of the newcomers, and you doubted they recognized you, apart from vague memories of seeing you drinking and laughing in Junker’s next to the guys that they considered to be the past. Cross Roads Bikes was about four years old at that point, and you’d built enough of a non-MC customer base to survive the turnover. The day Cal came in and told you he’d turned in his patch and was planning to head back out to California, you knew that your last tie with the club had been cut. In some ways, it was relieving, in other ways, terrifying. You and Cal got shitfaced together that night and told old war stories about all the guys you’d known and lost. You cried like a baby when, two weeks later, you were standing on the sidewalk, watching Cal’s taillight fade into the Illinois dark as he headed out to the West Coast for the next chapter of his life.

Much to your surprise, it was Sheila and Becky, Johnny’s widow, who became your new club. They took to bringing you sandwiches at the shop and sitting on the counter with you for lunch breaks, telling the did you hear? kind of stories that bond people with a loose circle of mutual acquaintances together. It was easy and fun and all three of you seemed to know that this was it. If you all let yourselves drift away, who was going to tell stories about the guys you’d all known? About the Vandals’ early days, the glory days? You three were all that was left. Ironic, you thought. A men’s club, survived by three women.

Your life fell into a pattern. Productive, purposeful, content with little stains of sadness at the edges. But mostly, a good life. You were happy, and getting used to it every day. At some point, your life became predictable.

That’s why, one crisp fall morning as you stumbled out of bed at 6:00am to the waiting pot of Zipco-strong coffee and the stack of yesterday’s mail on the counter, the last thing you were expecting to see was the outline of a man sitting on your front porch steps. The black leather jacket with an original Vandals patch on the back, the Harley parked across the street, the tousled blonde hair. It was a ghost of a memory.

You opened the front door a crack and looked down on the profile of Benny Cross. He was looking up at the neon Cross Roads Bike sign that Johnny and the rest of the club had gifted to you for your one-year anniversary at the shop. When he looked up at you with those same old blue eyes, it was like stepping into a dream.

“Hey.”

You closed the door behind you, offering him your mug of coffee as you wrapped your robe around you against the chill. “Hey.”

He scooched over to make room for you to join him. You did, tucking your knees up against your chest for warmth. The cold concrete of your porch steps bit into your backside.

“Looks good,” Benny commented softly, gesturing up at the Cross Roads sign. The text was superimposed over an image of a motorcycle - an all-black 1965 Harley Electra-Glide, to be exact. The same bike that happened to be sitting across the street from you, where Benny had parked it.

“Yea, yea,” you agreed gently, looking up at the sign with a sad smile. “Hope you don’t mind, I stole your bike. And your name.”

When you looked back at Benny, a half-smirk was spreading across his face. He looked the same, although you could see that the road had been riding him just as much as the other way around. You knew that life.

The two of you sat in silence for a while, sharing the same cup of coffee and a cigarette, letting the sun rise above the rooftops across the street. It was a comfortable, companionable quiet. It was the first time since you’d met Benny that you didn’t have the burning desire to try and put your feelings into words. After almost ten years of your heart orbiting his, you realized in the cold November morning that you had finally learned how to let him go. It was a bittersweet feeling, and you knew you’d never be able to put it into words, even if you tried. So the two of you were quiet together.

When the city began to wake up around you and the demands of another day couldn’t be ignored any longer, you rose from your seat - cursing the way the cold made your hips stiff - and offered him a hand to help him up. He took it, thick calluses on his palm from years of riding. He stood up, still tall enough to tower over you, his jacket thick with the smell of the road - leather, diesel fuel, sweat, and cigarettes.

“How long you in town for?” you asked as you held the door open for him behind you. He followed you in, kicking off his dirty boots at the door.

“Not sure,” he replied with a note of nervousness. “Depends on how long you’ll let me stay.”

You smiled to yourself, your back turned to him as you refilled your coffee mug and poured a fresh one for him.

“I got plenty of room, and plenty of work for ya, Benny. Long as you promise that you won’t leave without sayin’ goodbye this time.” He accepted the coffee in your outstretched hand with a heartbreakers’ smile.

“Funny you mention it. I hadn’t planned on leavin’ this time.” He looked at you with a question in his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what the question was. Do you forgive me? Is this ok? Are you alright? Did you miss me?

Whatever he was asking, your answer was yes. A very simple word, and easily one you could have said. But, just like moments before, you found that words just wouldn’t suffice, even such a simple one.

So you crossed the kitchen, dropping your coffee mug and letting it splinter into pieces on the tile floor, splashing hot coffee on your ankles, and wrapped your arms around him. Benny’s mouth tasted exactly how you remembered, and when he folded his arms around you, you swore your feet no longer touched the ground. He was warm and strong against you, and for every question he pressed through that kiss into your lips, you answered with an enthusiastic yes.

As you floated away into the sky towards what you’d heard others call “cloud nine” from your kitchen, the rest of the words of that old poem came drifting back to you:

Of all the things that can create, love is the one I most appreciate.

One thing I’ve come to know, nothing kills you slower than letting someone go.

But I will also tell you this, coming back to life can happen in the space of a single kiss.

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soapsilly · 10 months

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Betrayal - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader

Spoilers for One Piece (?)

Summary: It's been two years since the straw hats got seperated by Bartholomew Kuma. Two years since (Y/N) and Zoro have last seen each other but when the day finally came to reunite things didn't quite play out like they had envisioned.

Requests are closed

Part 2 Part 3

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It wasn't love at first sight. Not at all. It wasn't like they disliked each other either - far from it actually. When the Straw Hats picked her up, it didn't take long for (Y/N) to make friends with almost the whole crew. When they arrived on her little autumn island it didn't take much convincing for them to make her part of the crew. She liked her little home outside of the village but she was never part of it. The Straw Hats found (Y/N) when they made a stop at the island for supplies. Whilst Nami and Sanji stormed to the market in the search for pretty things and food supplies respectively, Zoro and Luffy wandered into the next bar for drinks and meat - also respectively. That left Chopper and Usopp on the look out for medicinal herbs and whatever else was needed for Usopp's ammunition. When they asked the townspeople they told them about the witch that lived outside the village. The villagers usually avoided her unless they needed something - which made (Y/N) a rather lonely person. When Chopper and Usopp told their captain about what they've heard, Luffy was immediately excited. So the whole crew made their way up the hill to the hut where the alleged witch was located.

Once they arrived, Chopper immediately went for the flowers and herbs that grew in the garden infront of the little house.

"I wouldn't touch those. Most of them are poisonous", the girl that came out of the house didn't look like a witch at all. No warts, no hooked nose, not even a witchy hat or black boots. In fact, she was young and -

"Beautiful!", the tall, blond guy was at her side at an instant. He took her hand in his and starred deeply into her eyes, "my name is Sanji and you are?"

"(Y/N)", she giggled.

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It was easy for (Y/N) to make friends with the crew - well most of them. Luffy was a friendly guy by nature so no problem there, Sanji was swooned as soon as she stepped out of her house, Nami was just happy to have another girl on the ship and Chopper was happy about the few healing balms and herbs she could provide him with - even though he had hoped for more when he saw the densely vegetated garden in front of the witch's house. Much to his dismay most of them were poisonous plants, not because she planned something foul but rather just because she liked them the most. Usopp wasn't as easy to win over as he seemed to be rather sceptical of strangers, but as she handed him some ammunition for his sling shot she finally gained his sympathy. The first batch was a little too strong for Usopps liking - lethal to be specific - but after careful calibration, whoever was hit fell into a temporary paralysis, much to Zoro's dismay who quickly became Usopp's favourite victim for target practice.

The swordsman however was a different story. He wasn't outright mean to her but no matter how much she tried, how many smiles she sent his way or how many attempts at small talk she started, he just didn't seem to care. She didn't take offence to that though. She still enjoyed his company whilst the crew sat down for dinner or during their excursions to different islands. It was during those times that she noticed his abysmal sense of direction, his affinity for hard liquor and his dislike for a certain curly-eyebrowed cook. She always enjoyed the seemingly pointless fights that the two would get themselves into. It's not that she disliked either of them - quite the contrary in fact - she grew rather fond of both of the men even if one of them didn't want much to do with her and the other wanted a little too much. It was rather that entertainment on deck was scarce and they never really hurt each other in a serious way anyways - so no harm, no foul .

One night after dinner when most of the crew went on to do their separate things, (Y/N) decided to try it again with Zoro.

"Is it your turn to keep watch tonight?", she asked as she approached him on deck.

He looked at her for a few seconds but decided to answer her anyways. "No, I think it's Usopp and that shitty cook tonight"

That's just what the girl wanted to hear. "Great!"

He sent her a suspicious squint but let her continue.

"You like alcohol" - she stated and as if to confirm her statement he lifted his cup, which was already filled with some kind of liquor - "I got us some", she continued.

"I got my own", he grunted.

"This one's better. Believe me, I made it", she grinned.

"You made this?"

"Yep"

"Yourself?"

"Yep"

"With your poison plants? Are you trying to kill me?"

"Yep.... Well, no", she sighed, "it's really good. In a low dosage it has a euphoric effect. I usually drink it as a tea but I made it as a drink.. for us to share?"

The green haired man contemplated for a moment but then shrugged and held out his cup for her to fill.

After the first sip, he let the taste linger for a second and then decided to chug the whole thing before (Y/N) could protest.

"I like it. Give me another cup"

"What? No! This is stronger than normal sake. It's not supposed to be downed. You can't have another one so soon after the first"

"I don't feel a thing. I can handle it. Give me another"

She thought for a moment. What was the worst thing that could happen?

"Only if you drink this one slowly..."

He sent her a short nod, indicating his approval.

So for a while they sat there in silence sipping their drinks with the occasional question here and there.

"So, you're a witch, huh?"

"Me? Nah.. The townspeople liked to say that because I like to do tarot card readings and sold them potions and healing balms. There's nothing magical about it but rumours spread fast in such a little village"

"Why didn't you correct them?"

"I don't care. I made money off of it", she shrugged.

They both fell into silence again but it felt comfortable. She could feel the slight buzz already forming and by the glow on Zoro's cheeks, she could see that the drink started to have it's effect on him too.

"I wouldn't mind another drink, you know", he grinned at her mindlessly.

It was late already but (Y/N) didn't feel like cutting the time with Zoro short. Who would've thought that the way into a man's heart was freshly distilled alcohol?

Just as she was about to fill their cups yet another time, Sanji made his way patrolling around the ship. Only the sight of the cook was enough to make Zoro clench his jaw.

"What's your problem with Sanji?", she found the interaction hilarious.

"You wouldn't understand anyways. That talentless ero-cook..."

"Hey.. he might be a pervert, but his food is amazing!", she scolded the moss-head.

"You don't seem to mind the way he dances around you and Nami", he huffs.

"No, I think it's kinda nice actually but I wouldn't put too much thought into it", she shrugged, "he can't control himself around women. I wouldn't fall for a guy like that"

"Hah!", the swordsman seemed to like hearing that. One man's misfortune is another man's treasure. Especially if the first man happened to be a curly-browed cook.

The night went on and on and the more the two of them drank the more they opened up about their past, their dreams and aspirations. But since (Y/N)'s alcohol was indeed stronger than what Zoro was used to after a few more cups the deep conversations turned into silly jokes and stupid impressions, which was not unusual for (Y/N) at all but when Usopp told the others about what he saw in the morning neither wanted to believe Zoro had partaken aswell.

"I knew she was a real witch... She cast a spell on him", Chopper whispered.

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Since that night Zoro and (Y/N) would consider each other as friends. Neither would talk about it but during meal times they would sit by each other, during island walks they stayed with each other and during night patrol they kept each other company. And every now and again at night they would sit down on the deck with a bottle of (Y/N)'s liquor and repeat the first time they really talked to each other. And it was during those times that during a moonlit night they shared their first kiss. The next morning neither could say who it was, that initiated it but it didn't really matter anyways. For the most part nothing really changed between them and they never gave it a name but they never kept it a secret either.

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Zoro wasn't the same after Thriller Bark. He spent all his free time excercising and training without giving his body the time to properly heal.

"Zoro... please", she stood in the doorway of the crow's nest, "you need to heal"

He ignored her and just kept going.

"You heard what Chopper said. I'm worried about you"

Still no response.

"Damnit! Zoro, is your deathwish that big?", her voice was equal parts angry and sad, "how will you become the best swordsman in the world when you're dead?"

With a loud 'BANG' Zoro dropped his weight and turned to the girl in front of him, "I made a promise! Don't you understand I need to become stronger?"

(Y/N), of course knew about Zoro's past. She knew about Kuina and his promise to her but why did he have to be so stubborn?

"Is that promise more important than all of us? Your nakama?", she was on the verge of tears now.

"It's not just that", he yelled back. Why was she so stupid? "If I don't become stronger, I can't protect any of you"

"You can't protect us either if you're dead! And then you'll never be the world's best swordsman and I'll be alone again!", she screamed.

The Straw Hats could hear the fighting all the way down on deck. They were used to their fights being loud but this was different. Sanji was already half-way up the ladder to break up the fight, outraged that Zoro would dare to make (Y/N)-chan cry but Robin held him back telling him that there were some things that a couple needs to sort out themselves.

That night (Y/N) took the time to put a heap of pillows and blankets into the crow's nest to make it easier for him to relax a little. At first he refused to follow her at all but once she grabbed his hand and really stared into his eyes he realized how serious she was. Once she got him to settle in, she turned to leave but his voice stopped her.

"Stay", his voice was quiet, "please, stay"

She nodded and turned back to him. Usually she was the one to initiate closeness between the two, so moments like those were rare. Once she nestled into the mountains of pillows she heard his voice again.

"I'm sorry"

She was stunned. All the years and all the fights, she never heard him apologize to her before. She tried to say something but he continued.

"I know I'm stubborn, but the thought of not being strong enough to protect any of you kills me. I won't always have time to heal and when the time comes and we'll get attacked I will have to fight. And if anyone, especially you, gets hurt because I wasn't strong enough, I wouldn't be able to live with that"

The witch didn't know how to react to his confession. Instead she opted to brush her fingers to Zoro's green hair and soon after she could hear the deep snores of her lover.

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The Straw Hats were hopelessly at the mercy of marine admiral Kizaru. There was nothing they could do. All of them were battered and bruised already from the fight with the Kuma Androids and now (Y/N) had to witness Zoro collapse from one of the Admiral's attacks. In the distance she could hear Luffy scream his name. She knew it was too soon for a fight. Almost automatically she sprinted to the sprawled out form of her boyfriend. Once she reached him, there wasn't much time to spare. She grabbed his form and dragged his body away from the impending kick, that would kill him. Brook and Usopp tried to attack Kizaru while (Y/N) created some distance but in the blink of an eye the admiral stood above Zoro once again. One leg on his back, the other hovering above his head.

"I won't let you get away. It's no use", he said almost too calmly.

The thoughts inside of (Y/N)'s head were racing and before she knew what she was doing she threw herself over Zoro's exposed form.

"You fool. That won't save him. You'll die together", Kizaru laughed almost carelessly.

Her heart was racing and she felt the blood rushing in her ears, but she didn't dare to open her eyes.

"Get away!", she couldn't quite tell whose voice it was that reached her ears first but after the first exclamation another followed and another and another... but she only shook her head repeatedly tears streaming down her face.

"Go", Zoro's deep voice sounded raspy and like even that small little word hurt him immensely but (Y/N) only shook her head yet again not caring that the man beneath her could probably not even see it. But the deadly stomp never came. Instead, Rayleigh, Gol D. Roger's first mate, decided to come in and fight with admiral Kizaru himself.

"Grab Zoro and get out of there!", she heard Luffy yell. Usopp grabbed Zoro underneath his arm and dragged him out of the danger zone.

"You - You should have left", the swordsman tried to scold his girlfriend but his voice was weak.

"Can we fight about this once we're safely back on the Sunny, please?"

He tried to laugh, their bickering was one of his favourite things about their relationship but they never even got the chance to return to their home. Shortly after Kizaru, the real Kuma showed up and one after the other the Straw Hat Pirates disappeared.

************************************************************************

It's been two years since Kuma seperated the crew, two years since Luffy lost Ace, two years since Zoro has last seen (Y/N). But the time has finally come to reunite. Zoro was actually the first to arrive ten days ago. Shortly after the other Straw Hats arrived one after another. It was only the witch that was still missing. Zoro couldn't wait to tell her that not only did he arrive before her AND that shitty cook, he also arrived first overall. He decided to conveniently remain silent about the help of a certain Ghost Ghost Brat.

"Has anybody had any contact with (Y/N) in the last two years?", Nami asked the group but she only earned headshakes as a response. Zoro felt a touch of melancholy. He would never admit it infront of the crew but eventhough he had used every single day of those two years for training with Mihawk, he did miss her. And then just like that, there she was walking up the gangway.

Zoro felt like his heart skip a beat once he saw her fully. She didn't change much, she was still beautiful. So much infact, that the ero-cook almost bled out once she went to greet him. The only thing that changed were the many tattoos that littered her body - mostly her arms. Flowers, beetles, stars and moons.

She came up to him last but something was weird. He expected her to leap into his arms like she had done so often in the past. He never initiated PDA infront of others - or rather at all - but he never complain when she did it, but this time she just stood there.

"Zoro, your eye..."

For a second he felt insecure. He never paid the fresh scar that decorated his left eye any mind and he didn't think that (Y/N) would either.

"Are you okay?", she seemed worried.

He grunted as to confirm that he was fine.

"You look good", she sent him a reassuring smile.

For a while the two of them just stood there but then Luffy's loud voice pulled them out of the moment.

"So now that we're complete let's set sail!"

(Y/N) flinched and then looked panicked.

"Wait, no, no no. There's something I need to tell you guys"

The crew waited in silence for their friend to continue.

"I won't come be coming you"

It was quiet for a few secong before Luffy's booming laugh filled the space, clearly thinking she was joking but Zoro knew something was wrong. In all those years as a fighter he learned to observe high stress situations and this was one. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but something was very wrong.

"Luffy... I'm not - I'm not joking", her voice was quiet.

Luffy abruptly stopped laughing. She didn't dare look up into the faces of her former crew mates in fears of what she might see but her decision has been made. It's not like she had much of a choice anyways.

"What's going on? Who's making you say this? Is someone threatening you?", Sanji asked. Even he mellowed out considering the tense situation. As much as he disliked the cook, Zoro approved of the questions, he knew she wouldn't leave them on her own accord.

"Nobody is threatening me and nobody is making me say this. I just can't - I don't... I will not be coming with you"

"But why?", Nami tried to reason with her.

"You guys don't understand. I have a home, a little house with a garden..."

"You can have a garden here on the Sunny...", Franky interjected.

"Whatever you'll need from your home, we'll get it on the way. Don't you worry about it", Luffy laughed, still not understanding how serious the situation was. Everybody was talking, asking questions, yelling suggestions but (Y/N) just kept shaking her head vehemently.

"Don't be an idiot. Just tell us what's going on", that was the first time Zoro spoke up. He had enough of the excuses. His voice cut through the noise like a sword and now all eyes laid on him.

"I had a child!", she yelled.

For a few heartbeats nothing and nobody on deck made a sound.

"A little boy to be specific", she continued, "I have a family now"

Zoro could've sworn there was a ringing sound that filled the air but the truth was, it was probably just the blood rushing through his ears.

"What?", Nami's voice sounded cold, mechanic even.

"I-"

"Don't!", (Y/N) had never seen Nami so enraged, "You found someone else? How could you do that? To us? To Zoro?"

"It's been two years...", the witch pleaded.

"So? So? None of us had any issues keeping it in our pants but you had to go and play house with the next best guy ?"

Nami's words hurt but (Y/N) knew that she deserved them. It was never her intention to hurt anybody - especially Zoro - but two years were a long time and a lot has changed.

(Y/N) looked around but the other Straw Hats avoided looking at her. Once her gaze landed on the spot where Zoro was leaning against the railing, she noticed that he was missing. She didn't know at what point he had left but she didn't blame him.

(Y/N) tried to say something but as soon as she opened her mouth Nami interrupted her.

"You should leave"

The other woman nodded and turned to say her goodbyes to the rest of the crew.

"So... Fish-Man Island, huh?", she sent Robin a little smile. The older woman was always so understanding even when the other person didn't really deserve it.

"Yes.. but first we'll have to make a stop at the next island over. Sabaody is full of marines, we didn't get all the supplies we needed, soooo if you change your mind ...", she suggested.

"I don't think Nami would let me live if I'll ever show my face around here again", she answered, "not that I could blame her"

"Give it some time", Robin hugged the younger woman as a farewell.

For a moment (Y/N) just stood there staring at the ladder to the crow's nest. But before she could even make an attempt to say her good-byes to Zoro Nami interjected.

"Don't you even dare. Don't think about it. Just leave."

(Y/N) was happy that Zoro had his friends that cared so much about him. Nami really cared about every single one of them - even if they sometimes drove her crazy. And if somebody hurt them, may it be their own nakama or anybody else, her mama-bear instinct kicked in. The boys always acted like the strongest, toughest warriors of the sea but deep down she knew they were idiots at heart. Her idiots.

"Nami-", the witch decided to try it a last time but the navigator only turned away from her former friend, signaling her that she doesn't have anything to say to her anymore.

As (Y/N) was walking down the gangway Usopp climbed up the crow's nest.

"Zoro... (Y/N) is leaving..."

But Zoro did not make a move. In fact, he didn't even react to Usopp at all. He just kept on exercising the way he usually does whenever anything is on his mind. In times like these, it was (Y/N), who would calm him down and get him to eat and even relax a little but now it was her that caused his isolation. He never felt the need to open up to anybody. Love was more of the ero-cook's thing even if he never actually had any success with the women he made his feeble attempts at. Zoro remembered how him and (Y/N) used to make fun of how much he was doing with so little payoff. He put some more weights on to get his mind away from the hurtful memory.

He would've never thought that she'd do something like that. Zoro wasn't the jealous type - never has been. Even when they were together the cook wouldn't stop flirting with (Y/N) but the swordsman was never worried. And whenever a slimey fool in the bars during their island journeys got a little too close for comfort, his girlfriend would easily send them away.

"I'd keep my hands to myself if I were you", she'd say, "Do you see that mosshead over there? He'll be the strongest swordsman in the world. You reeaally shouldn't bother his girlfriend"

His girlfriend...

Zoro shook his head. He was a fool. Of course, she'd find someone else. She basically always told him that she wasn't a person that could deal with being alone easily. That was probably the only reason she was ever with him to begin with. He put yet another set of weights on the barbell. She already said she wouldn't fall for Sanji. So was he just the next best option? But a whole family? A child? If it was just a new boyfriend, she could've surely left him after the two years. She could've come back to him. Zoro was so hopelessly in love with her, he wouldn't even care. But now she had a family. A family that she would never leave alone. She knew how much Robin suffered from losing her mother early. She wouldn't do that. Zoro let the weights drop to the floor with a loud 'BANG'. With all that thinking the swordsman however never once stopped to consider that his former partner made her choice not only out of obligation but rather because the truly was happier now...

************************************************************************

Epilogue

(Y/N) never felt as lost as the moment when she stepped off the Thousand Sunny. Within just a matter of moments she lost her family, her friends, her nakama. And even worse, she hurt someone, that she very deeply cared about. For a while she just stood there, thoughts rushing through her head. But whatever scenario she made up, there wasn't any other way. So after a few deep breaths she made her way back to her new home - back to the moss-headed boy, that reminded her so much of his father already.

#roronoa zoro x reader #one piece imagine #roronoa zoro imagine #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro imagine #one piece x reader #one piece

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five-bi-five-mind · 7 months

Text

Instead

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader

Genre: Angst-ish, Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Words: 9.4k+

Summary: JJ had been in love with you from the very moment she met you. The only problem is, you've been with someone else this whole time. Not only that, but he treats you like shit and you keep running back to him. Is there more to it than she knows or do you truly love him the way she wished you loved her?

Warnings: Mentions of stalking, cheating, and unhealthy relationships. Smut, fingering (r receiving), marking (r receiving), top!JJ, bottom!r, smut with a lot of feelings okay

A/N: I was really into this concept and then I really wasn't... but it's finished and now I can move on to other fics. Hope y'all enjoy it though!

(gif not mine, credit to greencways)

This happened way too often, but JJ was there every single time. She knew the signs, knew what was going on. You didn’t have to say a word and she would immediately understand what was going on with you. It was the look in your eyes, even when you smiled. Those eyes always said the opposite of whatever you tried to tell her. Or even what you tried to tell yourself.

He was always bad for you, from the moment JJ met him, she knew he wasn’t ever going to be what you deserved. And, boy, was she completely right. She lost count of the amount of times she would catch you bawling your eyes out over something stupid he said or did. You’d often try to appear unbothered, but the minute she would approach you and ask if you were okay, you’d utterly fall apart. And every single time, she would open her arms for you to fall into. She would stroke your hair and wipe your tears and tell you all about how he’s not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who would never treat you nearly as bad as he did. There was always the silent sentence she never said, though. The one that ends with something along the lines of someone like me or I would never treat you that way. But she always held her tongue, feeling selfish everytime she was tempted to say it.

Without fail, whenever there was a fight, your horrible boyfriend would come back with some excuse, some way of apologizing, and you’d rip yourself from her arms and fall right back into his. Not that you even knew that JJ wanted you to stay in her arms, but it still hurt like hell every single time. She tried to tell herself for a while that it hurt so much because she knew he would hurt you so much. You were her closest friend, so of course it was just that she cared deeply for you like a friend should. Right? That lie only lasted so long. A year went by and she was stuck with this horrible crushing feeling in her chest. Finally, JJ couldn’t deny it at all anymore. It was incredibly obvious to everyone except for you, it seemed, that she was completely in love with you.

So then she went through these phases each time you took him back. It would start with the painful feeling of rejection, even if you were completely unaware that you were rejecting her. Then she would get angry. Go, be in love, JJ would think, I don’t care. But that was a complete lie, because she would remember all the times you’d smile at her. Really smile. A smile she swore you’d never give that man. She saw the two of you together, she saw the forced smile you gave him in the rare moments he’d hold your hand, kiss your cheek, and be a semi-decent partner. It’s what confused her the most about this situation. It also, unfortunately, gave her this false sense of hope that maybe you didn’t feel the way you said you felt.

But then again, why did you fall apart every time he left? Why did you run back into his arms every time he came back? JJ found herself laying awake in bed at night way too often, just mulling over these questions for hours. She didn’t get her answer, but this time… This time was the last straw.

She knew what was going on within seconds of seeing your face. It was the way your eyes were just slightly puffy and how you’d let out a small sigh before throwing on a forced smile. To your credit, you were really good at selling that smile, but JJ just knew. You walked around the office, your eyes never really focusing on any one thing. Your mind was obviously elsewhere than whatever task was at hand. The team didn’t seem to pay much mind, too busy closing up a case, while you did your own duties alone in your little corner of the BAU. JJ knew exactly what all of this meant and she felt herself get angry this time. It was a new feeling for her; a break in the routine. She usually was just concerned for you and angry at him, but this time it was just the whole situation.

So, when she got you alone in her office, the back and forth was a little different. It started out the same, though. You did that avoidance thing. The thing where you gave her a pained smile and swore up and down you were fine, while she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. JJ wasn’t buying it at all. She never did.

“Really,” you sighed, “I don’t want to get into it.”

“Of course you don’t.” JJ rolled her eyes and your own widened. She had never been even remotely snappy with you. “Because it's probably the same shit it always is. God,” she scoffed, “Why do you let him jerk you around like this?”

You stood there, your eyes filled with disbelief, and you both just stared. If JJ were being honest, she wasn’t proud of that. She was a little shocked all of it came out of her mouth and even more shocked at how harsh her tone was.

“You don’t get it.” Your tone wasn’t exactly harsh like JJ’s, but she could tell she struck a nerve.

“What’s there to get?” JJ threw her hands up, obviously letting her frustration boil over. She got this far, might as well keep pushing. Did JJ think it was a good idea? No, maybe not, but she wanted you to finally get a grip on the reality of this relationship. It was clearly not good for you. “He’s not reliable. He doesn't consider your feelings. He clearly hurts you every single time he goes off and fucks up. And god, he has fucked up so often.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your tone was a warning. “You don’t know everything.”

“What then?” JJ knew she was pressing. She knew she was pissing you off, but frankly she didn’t care. She couldn’t watch you fall apart again only to go back to the very person who kept mistreating you. She couldn’t handle you choosing him again instead of her. “Jesus, what is his hold on you? Why do you let him treat you like shit? You run back to him every damn time too! It’s— fuck, it’s ridiculous! Why don’t you have more self worth when it comes to him?”

You definitely did not look pleased right now. Your face was twisted into a tight lipped frown and JJ didn’t think she’s ever seen you look at her like that. Her eyes flicked down to your hands and saw the way they were balled into fists, before looking back up, finally into your eyes. That’s when the anger fled her body and was immediately placed with crushing guilt. Your face told her you were pissed, but your eyes… Always those god damn eyes of yours. They were so expressive and JJ could read them better than anyone. She saw, hidden behind this anger, the pain and, to her confusion, the fear.

An uncomfortable tension filled the room and finally you took a slow, deep breath. Your eyes closed for a minute and JJ noticed the way your hands squeezed for a second before you relaxed them. When your eyes reopened and met hers, she realized you were trying to calm yourself down. It was like you had that routine down, like it was a factory reset of your own emotions, and she wondered how often you had to do that. Her gut twisted when she realized you needed to because of her.

“I said I was fine,” you said in the most monotone voice. “So, if you don’t need anything else, I have files I need to get back to.”

JJ’s jaw clenched as she realized that you, for the first time, were shutting down in front of her— because of her. She gave a short nod and turned her eyes to the floor as you walked right out of her office.

Fuck, she thought. JJ had fucked up with you. She pushed when you warned her not to and now she has some apologizing to do. Then again, she still was curious about the look in your eyes. What exactly weren’t you telling her? You said she didn’t know everything, so what else was there? Something told JJ whatever it was would just make her even more angry about this whole situation.

———————————-

This might look bad. That’s what JJ was worried about as she stood in front of your door with a bag full of takeout boxes of your favorite foods. It might look like she was pushing, and she absolutely was. That was her goal anyways. She needed to know whatever it was you weren’t telling her.

It took a couple of minutes of pacing in front of your door before she finally took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and knocked. Her grip tightened on the bag of food, and she took a few more slow breathes as she waited for you to answer.

Thank god you lived alone. For whatever reason the two of you had never moved in together and as far as she knew, you had no intentions of doing that. That was something at least. That you understood a little that if he treated you so badly when you spent time together, living with him 24/7 would make your situation even worse.

JJ’s foot tapped on the ground as she waited outside your apartment. She couldn’t hear if you were coming to the door or not, but she knew you were home. When you finally did rip the door open, there was absolutely no surprise in your eyes when you saw that it was her on the other side. Was she really that predictable? JJ fully understood that to everyone else who knew about her feelings for you, it looked like she was some lovesick puppy, following you around until you finally opened your eyes. The fact that you weren’t surprised she was standing at your door stung a little.

“I came bearing gifts.” JJ held up the bag of food. “And to apologize. Can I come in?”

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t have to. All you did was step out of the way so she could enter and she knew all was forgiven.

JJ knew your apartment well at this point. There were too many nights she spent just sitting next to you in your living room, sleeping next to you on your bed, taking in everything about your space that felt very you. Of course, all of this time she spent there with you, you were none the wiser about the fact that it made her heart go crazy. How could you know that sharing a bed made her ache to reach out for you? Or know that spending so much time in your personal space felt almost like a domestic bliss JJ so badly wanted to share with you? You had no idea and it tugged at her heart in the most uncomfortable way each time.

She knew your apartment so well that, as she walked into the kitchen, she didn’t even wait for you to get anything. JJ already started rummaging through your cabinets for plates and your drawers for silverware, knowing exactly where to find them. You just stood back and watched as JJ plated the food, never saying a word. Not a lot of things unsettled JJ, but your silence was always one of them. When you were silent, it meant you were really hurting or stressed. She could imagine, right now you might be feeling both or— she thought back to that look of fear in your eyes— perhaps it meant something worse? Was your mind preoccupied with something scaring you?

“So…” JJ broke the silence herself, handing you the plate as she spoke. “I stopped by that place you like on 4th street.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the plate and turning to go to your couch. She followed after you. You owned a dining table. Granted, it was small, but plenty of room for you two and all the food JJ over-ordered. But JJ liked to think you chose to sit on the couch and eat there because of how close you two could be. Hopeful thinking again, she realized that, but damn… she had it bad.

“Listen,” JJ started as she sat down next to you. “I’m sorry about my outburst today.” She paused for a moment, reading your face. Your expression was neutral, but she knew you were listening and receptive. You were always so kind, too kind for your boyfriend, so she wasn’t worried you would be angry for long. “I just hate seeing when you hurt. And I worry that you’re not okay… That something is really bothering you.”

“I’m fine,” you said in a very unconvincing tone as you absentmindedly pushed your food around on the plate.

“You say that but…” JJ trailed off and didn’t continue that thought when she saw the warning glance you gave her. She dropped it for a moment, but she was going to bring it back up. Just not yet.

As you both ate, conversation turned to unimportant things. It was obvious that you were both avoiding the pressing subject— your shitty boyfriend. Or maybe ex-boyfriend if JJ was lucky this time. When you two were done JJ took both your plates without waiting for you to get up and made her way to the kitchen. She was entirely too aware of the way your eyes stayed glued to her as she washed the dishes, dried them, and put them back in their rightful place.

You would do that sometimes. Just stare at her when you thought she wasn’t looking or wasn’t aware. But she always knew. JJ was always aware of you, even if you weren’t aware of her. It was like she had finely tuned herself to notice every little thing about you, whether she meant to or not. She just had to be and at first she didn’t understand why. Then, when she realized it was because she was in love with you, it all made sense. It was blatantly obvious that the man you kept running back to wasn’t taking care of you in the slightest, so JJ did it instead. Deep down, she hoped you would notice; hoped you would understand that she would treat you better than he ever would. But it’s been a year of her pining and your constant heartbreak and still things between you and JJ haven’t changed.

When she was done with everything she sat down next to you again and, to her relief, you scooted closer. Her eyes studied you and she wondered if now was the time to press again. However, this time she was going to be more gentle.

“Listen,” she started. “I know it’s a touchy subject, but I really want to talk about-”

“Can we just not please?” Your eyes left hers and she watched the way your body shifted uncomfortably on the couch. At least you didn’t scoot away from her. That was one small relief for JJ.

“I think we need to.” JJ was trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible this time. Patience, she must have patience with you. Clearly, there were some details she was unaware of. You hinted at as much, anyway. “I just don’t understand why this keeps happening. You do know you deserve far better than him right? That you don’t deserve all the pain he puts you through.”

You nodded slowly, your shoulders slumping as your eyes fell to your fidgeting hands. It was absolutely clear in that moment, to JJ, that you did know you deserved better. A spark of irritation filled her chest, but she tried to take a couple of deep breaths. She didn’t know the full story, she was trying to convince herself that maybe what you said next would be a good reason for why you still stayed.

“It’s complicated, JJ,” you breathed a shaky sigh. “I know he treats me like crap, but there’s a reason I stay. He takes care of me…”

“Are you sure about that?” JJ’s jaw clenched as she thought of all the times he’d fuck up. “Because it looks like he could care less about your feelings or your wellbeing for that matter.”

“No.” You shook your head hard. “No, not in that way. It’s…” Your eyes closed tightly and you took another deep breath. It was at that moment that something clicked for JJ. It was a face you made every once in a while when you brought your boyfriend around and he said something stupid. It was a look of shame that had washed over you and whatever irritation JJ had felt a moment ago was replaced with a feeling of worry. “It’s that with him around I feel… protected, I guess.”

“Protected?” JJ’s brows furrowed as she tried to understand. You worked at the BAU, so of course you saw some scary stuff. You weren’t one of the members who would go out in the field, sure, which meant you didn’t have all the training of an agent, but you had the basics. She didn’t think even for a second you’d be afraid of anything coming back on you from the job. It wasn’t like your face was even known to anyone involved in any one of the cases.

“Not– It’s not from the job,” you quickly corrected, reading exactly where JJ’s confusion was coming from. “I had this boyfriend back in undergrad. Things didn’t exactly end the way he wanted it to.”

JJ felt like her stomach was dropping as she watched you fidget even more. She knew, whatever you were about to say would tie everything together for her, but it still made her feel sick. The idea of you being scared of anyone made her feel unimaginably uncomfortable for you.

“Ever since, he’s just kind of been around,” you shut your eyes tight for a moment before continuing. “I could move and then, somehow, I’d just bump into him. He would always be there when I met someone new. He just– He hovers. He’s never hurt me, but then again I don’t ever want to let my guard down.”

“So with your boyfriend then…?” She was still trying to put the pieces together of where your current boyfriend fit in. It didn’t quite make sense that you would leave one shitty guy and then find another.

“My boyfriend scares him. It wasn’t always bad between us, not at the very beginning. He was protective and I felt safe. There was this one time when he caught on that we were being followed– He made this big show of how protective he was. Ever since then, I’ve felt a little less like I need to keep looking over my shoulder.”

JJ was nodding patiently as you explained. Suddenly, she understood just about everything. It wasn’t that you were so heartbroken that he was treating you so badly, that he would cheat on you, that he would disregard your feelings, it was that he provided something important for you. Something that helped you just exist without having to be terrified all the time. It made sense now to JJ. She knew how important it was to feel safe, to feel protected. It broke her heart that you thought you needed to put up with poor treatment just to be safe. Didn’t you know she could protect you so much better than your boyfriend ever could?

“Why are you just telling me this now?” JJ’s voice was gentle, barely a whisper. She felt like if she were to push anymore you’d break in front of her.

“I don’t know, I was ashamed. Maybe? But I know you’re tired of seeing me go through the same routine with him. He always does this thing where he’ll run off with someone else and I’ll be scared, but it’s not– I’m not scared of losing him, just of being alone. I was so tired of looking over my shoulder, but when he showed up it was better… He always comes back though. Always.”

It was like you were trying to convince yourself of that fact. The way you gulped right after you said that, your eyes looking anywhere but at JJ. You knew she could read you, that she could tell when you had doubts or were lying. JJ wondered if you really thought he would come back this time? She knew it might be selfish, after all the things you just told her, but she hoped he never would come back. If he made a show of protecting you to your stalker, then she could make a better one if she needed to.

“And if he doesn’t?” JJ knew this question was going to be a hard one for you to answer, but she needed you to see that he wasn’t the answer to your problem.

“He will.” You said that almost as if it were a bad thing. Or maybe JJ was reading into it.

“You don’t need him to,” JJ urged. Okay, so now maybe she was being a bit more selfish, but she also wanted you to know that even if he didn’t come back you’d be safe. JJ would protect you with her life, she thought you understood that already. Even if you didn’t know what feelings she had for you exactly, she thought you knew how important you were to her in general. “You don’t need his protection.”

You let out a bitter chuckle at that and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, okay,” you snorted. “JJ, I’m not a field agent like you. It’s not that easy for me to protect myself when I’ve only got the bare basics of self-defense down. By the time I have more skill in that, my ex will have already made an appearance or worse.”

“That’s not what I meant.” JJ was trying to give you the most determined look she could give you and you looked back at her, clearly confused.

Realization dawned on you as you understood what she was implying. “I can’t expect you to always be there.”

“I would.” She didn’t miss a beat. Her tone was almost pleading. “I’d protect you and– I don’t know, I can teach you to protect yourself in the meantime. Just–” She was getting desperate as she watched the way you shook your head in protest with every word she said. “Please, just let me. Please.”

“JJ, shh,” you cooed, your arms suddenly coming up to pull her into an embrace. For a moment, JJ felt pathetic. It was her job right now to console you, but here you were holding her and trying to calm her. She didn’t realize how upset she was about this whole situation. She hated that you were allowing yourself to be mistreated just so you could have some sense of protection from another bad relationship of your past. She hated that you felt scared at all, she never wanted you to feel that way. More than anything, she hated that you didn’t think she would protect you, that you even needed your horrible boyfriend in the first place, when she was right here practically screaming choose me, pick me!

“I’ll be okay,” you murmured, your hand running up and down her back in a way to comfort her. Only, instead it made her heart race. Her arms wrapped around you now, holding you close for a moment. “You don’t need to take this on, okay? I can handle this.”

It wasn’t like that for JJ. It wasn’t a burden for her to take on, it was something she’d do for the rest of her life happily if you let her. It was something that she already was doing, even if you weren’t aware of it. Whether you felt the same as her or not, she would protect you with her life for as long as you would have her around. She had to make you understand that.

So she pulled back a little from the embrace. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” she whispered as her eyes searched yours. You looked back at her with a soft, wistful gaze, but you let her continue. “Let me be here for you instead…” She trailed off and started to lean in. It was now or never, and her eyes closed just as yours widened. But still, you didn’t move, you didn’t pull away, clearly knowing exactly what JJ’s intentions were. Instead, you held perfectly still until finally, for the first time, JJ’s lips met yours.

The kiss was gentle and earth shattering all at the same time. JJ was scared you’d pull away, but you didn’t. Instead, your lips parted for a brief moment, a slow exhale fell from your lips onto hers and she shuttered. She expected you to pull back, but instead you waited and she kissed you again. When she kissed you this time, you instantly melted into her. It was like every nerve ending in JJ had finally woken up. The moment she had waited for so long was happening and it was better than she ever imagined it to be.

Her hands tightened around your waist and the small sound you let out, as you were pressed closer to her chest, made her heart skip a beat. Your hands were holding onto her for dear life. She could feel a slight tremble from your body, but when she thought she should pull away, you kissed her harder.

One of JJ’s hands left your waist, only to reach up and cup your cheek. You had never been kissed so lovingly, so deeply in your entire life. JJ, on her part, was trying to pour every ounce of love she’s ever had for you into the way she was kissing you. It was intoxicating for both of you. For a moment, everything melted away. There was no tension between you two, there was no shitty boyfriend that JJ was desperate to get you away from, there were no unspoken feelings that plagued JJ’s mind every waking minute. There was only you and her and this moment. A moment that meant everything to JJ.

But it was fleeting. Maybe JJ had pushed it a little too much. One second she was brushing her tongue lightly along your bottom lip, a small gasp escaping from you as she did. The next, you were pushing her back and she was blinking at you in confusion over the abrupt change.

“What are you doing?” You said breathlessly. Your eyes were shining and JJ realized they were rimmed with tears that had yet to fall. JJ was kicking herself. Obviously, she had rushed this way too much.

“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have–”

“I don’t need you to do this, JJ,” you interrupted. “You don’t have to. Just because I’m scared of being alone doesn’t mean– you don’t have to make this sacrifice just so I can feel safe.”

“What?” JJ was trying as hard as she could to understand what you meant. Sacrifice what? Her own safety? Surely, that couldn’t be what you meant. JJ’s own job put her safety at risk constantly, so you had to understand that she wasn’t worried about that when it came to being with you. She would be safe and she’d keep you safe, it wasn’t a problem. So what were you talking about?

“I don’t want you to think you have to be with me in order to fix all my problems. That’s not fair to you. Or to us.” You were squeezing your eyes shut so tight as you spoke and JJ realized the hands still pressed to her shoulders were trembling even harder now.

“I don’t think that,” JJ put her hands over yours, trying to calm you. She was starting to understand now and her heart ached for you yet again. Of course, you’re so used to being treated badly that you didn’t even realize how genuine JJ was trying to be. “Just…” she let go of one of your hands to brush away a tear that had fallen down your cheek, “be with me instead.”

“Oh.” That was all you said. Things were clicking for you now too. The word instead rang through your ears and suddenly it all made sense. “Oh,” you repeated, this time with more shock in your voice. JJ was putting it all out there for you now and nerves were getting the best of her. But what would it look like if she backed out now? If she couldn’t handle the fear of being vulnerable in front of you, how could she show you that she could protect you from the things you feared most?

“JJ,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “Have you always had feelings for me?”

She swallowed hard. It was a question she knew was coming, but still, that didn’t make this moment any easier. If she was going to put herself out there, then she might as well bare it all. Yet, words escaped her. Her heart pounded in her chest so loud, she could hear its beat ringing through her ears. All she could manage was a nod.

You sat back a little and it looked like you got the wind kicked out of you. It was very clear to JJ now that you really had absolutely no clue about how she felt. In all fairness, that wasn’t a surprise for JJ. She was probably a little too good at keeping a poker face around you, even if she didn’t mean to. Although, with you, for so long she was terrified of you finding her out and losing you all together. She warred with herself for so long on telling you about her feelings, but the idea of ruining your friendship and losing you forever felt worse than never having you in the way that she wanted. But here it all was, out in the open.

“For how long?” Your question wasn’t harsh, just genuinely confused.

“I don’t know,” JJ admitted. “Maybe they’ve always been here. It took me a while to realize it, but then you…” She didn’t need to continue for you to understand. There was always your boyfriend, so JJ thought there was never a good time. It was your turn for your heart to break for her. All the instances where you’d question her actions, her looks that she shot your way, all of it hit you. The realization was shocking in some ways, but made complete sense in others. And, for the first time, you realized just how much it pained her to watch you stay with someone who treated you with very little disregard. You thought back now to all the times you had run back into his arms and all the times she was just forced to watch. The hurt that must’ve caused her, you couldn’t even begin to imagine.

“I had no idea,” you mumbled. But then again, maybe you did? In the entire time you knew her, she had one relationship. It was a relationship she was already in when the two of you met, and it lasted maybe three or four months after you’d gotten to know each other. When it ended, JJ didn’t say much about why, just that it was for the best. Now you understood; it was because of you. “Or… I think I didn’t. I– I don’t really know either.”

JJ’s eyes stayed on you. She could tell you were going in circles in your own mind, trying to better understand this new development. Guilt was washing over her as she realized she’d put something complicated onto you, on top of all the other complicated factors you had just told her you were juggling. The kiss was a mistake. JJ knew the timing was horrible, but would she take it back? Absolutely not. Not even when you were looking at her in a way that told her she was about to get her heart ripped out. Her whole body tensed as she waited for the rejection she thought was coming, but still you just… sat there and stared.

You kept opening your mouth for a second, seeming like you had something to say, but then backing out a moment later. JJ knew whatever you were going to say wasn’t going to be easy for either of you, but she also knew you definitely had something you wanted to get out. She didn’t say anything in response to you, she just kept waiting for you to resume talking. Part of her hoped that whatever you said, it would be a good thing. Another part of her, a bigger part, worried that you were struggling so much because you were trying to tell her she made you uncomfortable and you didn’t quite know how to best reject her. Little did you know, it didn’t matter how hard you were going to reject her. JJ was going to stay by your side. Now more than ever, she understood how important that was for you.

Still, the silence was getting deafening for JJ. You stopped trying to talk and just looked down at your lap. JJ was about to finally break it when you did eventually decide to look back up at her.

“I think,” you began, “Maybe, I need a little time to wrap my head around this.”

JJ nodded hard, her heart thudding in her chest. It wasn’t what she expected you to say. It wasn’t even necessarily a good thing, but it wasn’t a rejection. She’d settle for that. “Of course,” she rapidly replied. “I know, it’s a lot. Today was a lot.” She stood up for a moment, anxiously looking around the room, trying to figure out her next move. “I’ll– I can give you space for the night. I should– Yeah, I should go.”

When your shining eyes looked up at her, it was like JJ’s world stood still. You had such sadness in them, such exhaustion. It was hard for her to see when she knew she caused even the smallest portion of it. You didn’t deserve everything you were dealing with. And to deal with it in silence for so long? It crushed her that you were just telling her all of this now.

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you stared up at her. Your head nodded the slightest bit, but JJ saw it. “Just for tonight,” you said in the smallest voice. JJ gave you a pained smile, one that she hoped would read to you that she understood completely.

JJ did as she said and found herself back home in her empty apartment before she could even realize how she managed to get there. The minute she stepped out of your place, all throughout the drive, and even as she laid in bed there was only one thing on her mind. Would things be different if she had known sooner?

She fell asleep with what if scenarios running through her head. Ideas of the two of you being happy somewhere far away from anything you feared. Far away from the shitty boyfriend you thought you had to be stuck with.

———————————-

JJ wanted to give you all the space she could possibly give you, but it wasn’t that easy. Now that she knew what she knew, it was hard for her to take her eyes off you for even a second. Not that it wasn’t already hard for her to do so without the information she now had, but now there was an extra layer to it. She felt more protective than ever, but she also knew you needed some space from her to process. So, she was constantly internally debating with herself.

You had told her you wanted space just for the night, but then you didn’t really talk to her the next day or the next or even the rest of the week after that. She kept her eye on you still, even if your eyes would never meet hers or you’d shift and squirm when she was near. It was killing her inside. A lot sooner than was probably healthy, a horrible thought popped into JJ’s head that had her spiraling. What if she had messed everything up? What if she ruined her friendship with you because she brought up her feelings?

The kiss kept replaying in JJ’s mind though, and she swore up and down that you kissed her back that night. Yes, you were the one to pull away, but before then, it felt like everything JJ was trying to give, you wanted to reciprocate. Maybe that was just all in JJ’s head, but she really didn’t think so. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t have kissed you at all. Maybe in her mind, everything seemed so different than it actually was. She just kept going on and on spiraling further into this thought process with each passing minute that she hadn’t heard from you.

Finally, after over a week of work, JJ had a day off coming up. Nothing had changed between you and her, you were still very much avoiding her. It was exhausting JJ, how worried she was about your wellbeing, how worried she was about the state of your friendship with her, how worried in general she was about all of it. JJ didn’t even have a minute to really sit down and take in the fact that it was also hurting her, knowing that she was probably rejected by you and her wishful thinking was just that– wishful thinking. But now she has a day off. A day to process. JJ didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing for her. For one, she got space away from seeing how uncomfortable you were, but then she couldn’t keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe. On the other hand, she could actually sit and think about how she was feeling and how to approach the silence you were giving her. However, she knew the minute she really started to think about it her heart would ache. JJ liked to think she was strong, but even she had her limits.

So how did she spend her day off then? By wallowing in her apartment and nursing her expected heartbreak ahead of time. At one point she did get dressed to go work out, but she never made it out of her apartment. She just stayed in her clean gym clothes and sat back on the couch, the idea of possibly running into you in the gym (even if she knew you’d probably be busy elsewhere) was too much of a risk.

When evening came and she finished checking her texts, missed calls, emails, and everything else you might message her on, she decided maybe she should get food. Before she even decided what she wanted to get delivered— there was still no way she was leaving her apartment at this point —she heard a knock on her door. Her eyebrows furrowed, there was no package she was expecting, no conversation with anyone else about coming over, nothing that warranted this knock.

With an exasperated sigh, she hoisted herself off the couch to go see who it was. It hadn’t been that long since the first knock that she heard another, more frantic tapping at her door. She huffed again, frustrated that whoever was on the other end was both impatient and interrupted her night of self loathing. A third knock came and she was getting a little pissed at this point.

Usually, being an agent at the BAU, she has a strict habit of checking the peephole before swinging a door open to an unexpected guest. But JJ hadn’t really been thinking clearly lately, so why start now when she could tell off the irritating person on the other side? Except, when she swung open the door she utterly froze.

She didn’t expect you to show up tonight, not when you had been actively avoiding her for days. Not to mention, you had never really needed to knock on her door. You had a key and both of you had a habit of just waltzing into each other’s places. So, you were definitely her last guess for who was waiting on the other side.

When JJ’s shocked eyes fell on you, you looked back up at her with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. JJ’s first reaction was to ask you why you seemed so scared if you were the one avoiding her for days and then showing up at her doorstep, but she held her tongue.

“Listen, okay here’s the thing…” you started suddenly. “I thought about the night, about what happened. Okay— so I took longer than I said and I’m sorry about that, but I have a good reason. I think, maybe.” You were rambling. JJ’s eyes were still filled with shock but she still had the sense to step out of the way when you pushed yourself into her apartment. “It’s just that,” you kept talking as you let yourself in, “this isn’t just something you do quickly, you know? I was with him for a while, and you and I… I’ve never connected with someone on the level I have with you. So if there was ever an inkling that I might lose our connection, even if it’s the smallest chance—“

“(Y/N), you would never lose me.” JJ had the sense to butt in with that, but your hand came up immediately after to signal her to stop whatever explanation she was ready to give you.

“Even then… The idea is terrifying,” you looked back at her with pleading eyes. Her heart sank as she began to realize where this conversation might be going. You were still pacing and she so desperately wanted to stop you and tell you not to worry about it. You didn’t have to say them to her tonight. She didn’t know if she could manage to hear the words you might say, but she didn’t dare move from the doorway.

“This isn’t coming out how I planned.” You pressed your hands to your eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “But…” you dropped your hands and gave JJ an intense look. “Then I thought about that night and all the other nights I’ve spent with you and I thought about… that kiss.” You both gulped as you said the word. “It was,” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “It was eye opening. It made me realize something…”

JJ was holding her breath. She really wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she really was internally begging for you to rip off the bandage.

You took a deep breath and tried to center yourself for what you wanted to say next. JJ was on edge where she stood, trying not to let you see the way her hands trembled as she waited.

“JJ, I want to be with you.” The words were out there and JJ’s eyes widened the second she took that in.

“What?” It wasn’t that JJ didn’t hear you, it was that she was in a state of mild shock.

“I have feelings for you too. I think I’ve always known how you felt, how I felt even. I just wasn’t sure how to face it…” Your eyes fell to the floor, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you perhaps ever had been. “But then when you left that night it was all so clear to me.”

JJ took a few steps towards you, her heart beating like a jackhammer in her chest. “Then why did you ignore me for days?”

“I wasn’t trying to.” You looked back up at her with apologetic eyes. “I said I wanted to do things right and I do. So, I wanted to make sure I put a permanent end to my relationship. All his stuff needed to be out, I needed to tell him that— You know, that this was really it. Which I did, last night. And then it took me all day to figure out what to say to you.” You let out a soft laugh and shook your head. “I had this whole script planned out. I didn’t use any of it. This has to be the messiest way to tell someone you want to be with them.”

Finally, JJ’s face shifted from shock to a soft smile. She took another step and then another until she was right in front of you. “I think it still worked out well.”

You took a step towards her and whispered, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded before reaching for your waist. She leaned in and her lips pressed against yours for the first time since that night. And just like that first time, you melted into it.

———————————-

When you made up your mind to finally tell her that you wanted to be with her, you had also told yourself that you would do things right, take things slow. However, when your back hit her mattress and you looked down at the foot of the bed to see JJ crawling up your body… Well, that ship had long sailed. Even JJ had a similar thought when you finally admitted that you wanted to be with her, but that idea quickly went out the window the minute she felt your whole body press into hers as she kissed you. Her resolve only broke further the more the two of you pulled at each other’s clothes as you made it to her bedroom.

There was still a part of both of your minds that told you two that maybe things should slow down, but then when you looked at her, pupils blown, a slight blush across your face, that idea left her mind entirely. And when she looked back at you, nothing but adoration in her eyes as her hands ran up and down your half-naked body, any worry about going too fast was erased from yours too. This was JJ after all. It wasn’t like you didn’t know her. You did, you truly knew her. Perhaps deeper than most people can know one another.

So there you both were. JJ was hovering over your body at this point and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking in the beautiful tone of her bare stomach as she waited above you in nothing but a sports bra. Without even thinking, your hands made their way to her stomach and your nails, ever so softly, raked down her skin. You watched in awe as JJ shivered and her eyes filled with lust; a look entirely new for you to see.

JJ cupped your chin and dipped her head down. The way she kissed you, slow and deep, had your chest heaving and your heart racing. Your nails dragged across her stomach until they reached around her back and you pressed her down. Now her barely clothed form was pressed against your matching half naked body. Her hand didn’t leave your chin as her tongue traced around your own. You, for the most part, could only grip at her closer as you continued to kiss her. All of these feelings, of her pressed against you, the way she kissed and touched you, everything was just overwhelming your senses in the best way. Finally, when you felt JJ’s other hand start to brush down your stomach until she pressed the palm of her hand to your bare thigh, did you start to ground yourself in the feeling of her touch. Her fingers gently traced circles on your inner thigh as she kept kissing you, with each passing second getting closer and closer to where you wanted her most.

JJ pulled back just a little, her lips still barely ghosting over yours. Her fingers were playing with the edge of your panties and you realized she was trying to get your consent. Your heart swelled for the care she was giving you. It was something that might just be considered the bare minimum, but when JJ did it, it showed just how much she respected and felt for you. All of this felt new to you tonight, not just the fact that you were about to be with JJ for the first time in a way that you had never expected before, but everything else about the encounter. Never had you felt someone cherish you as much as she did and that feeling intensified with each little touch.

You gave her a small nod, your arms moving up her back to wrap around her neck and pull her lips back down to meet yours. As you resumed the kiss, you let a small gasp out against her lips the moment you felt her fingertips dip into your panties and brush against your clit.

Her fingers stroked slowly across it once and then twice and you couldn’t stop the small sounds that escaped from you. JJ wanted to take this slow, to soak in every single sound you made and how good you felt, but it wasn’t easy. Part of her wanted to just let go of everything, to let go of the long time she spent bottling things up, but she knew you needed to feel the love and adoration she had for you before she could dive in and finally indulge in what she’s wanted for so long.

Her fingers started to trace small circles around your clit and her lips left yours to kiss across your jaw. Your eyes were screwed shut again and your hips were moving ever so slightly with the way her fingers were working on your clit. JJ’s eyes were fixated on the way your face looked, flushed and twisted in the pleasure she was giving you. Your lips parted slightly to let out a small whimper and that was when JJ knew she needed to pick up the pace. Her fingers pressed more firmly on your clit and the way they moved against it sped up. Your hips kept moving in time with her hand, trying to get more friction. JJ’s other hand went to your breast, pushing your bra up so that she could have access to your nipples. Her fingers traced around each one as her lips made their way down your neck. Neither of you seemed to notice or care that the way she started nipping and kissing at the skin there was surely going to leave visible marks.

The feelings she was building up in you was starting to become too much, but you still wanted more. The way she focused on your clit felt amazing, but you wanted to feel her– to really have her. Without hesitation, one of your hands untangled itself from around JJ to reach down and grab her wrist. Both of you were shocked by the bold move, but neither of you minded, when you pushed her hand down further into your panties. JJ knew exactly what you wanted and let her fingers circle your entrance.

You took a few deep breaths, your hand leaving her wrist to go back to pressing her body closer to yours. JJ’s lips moved down to your chest and the moment you felt her fingers start to push into you, you also felt her take one of your nipples into her mouth.

“Oh!” You did not mean to gasp as loudly as you did, but after that gasp came a moan as you felt JJ’s two fingers sink deeper into you before pulling out almost completely and pushing back in. She wasn’t going fast, but she wasn’t necessarily going slow either. The angle was a little awkward with your lower half still partially clothed, but you desperately wanted her to keep going. Eventually, your legs fell open wider to give her more space and your arms left JJ again only for a moment to frustratingly pull your panties down and kick them off. With those off, and JJ’s fingers back inside you, your head rolled back again. You couldn’t stop the constant, desperate moans and gasps that left your lips.

JJ, in the meantime, had been busy switching between your breasts, marking up each of them and running her tongue across both nipples. When she started to feel your legs shake, she knew she needed to speed up. Her lips moved back to your neck, kissing over the marks she had left behind previously. Her fingers curled and your nails pressed into her skin. The sting of it didn’t even bother her, she was too lost in this moment with you. You were practically crying out her name with each pump of her fingers inside you. She wasn’t aware of much else other than the way you felt around her fingers.

“I love you.” Her voice was muffled into your neck, barely above a whisper. “I love you…” she breathed again, her fingers pumping faster inside you while your nails dug harder into her back.

It took a moment for those words to sink in. Words you didn’t expect to hear so soon. Especially not now, not during your first night together like this. But they were out there, whether JJ meant for you to hear or not.

Your body tensed for just a moment, even if you didn’t mean to. You had hoped JJ wouldn’t notice, but like always she did. Her head pulled back, her fingers slowed to a stop but never pulled out. Immediately when she met your eyes hers filled with panic. Probably because you looked back up at her with shock.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean for–” She started to pull away. “I know this isn’t the best time to say–”

Your hands clenched harder onto her back, trying your best to get her to stop pulling away from you. “I love you too,” you whispered. It wasn’t something you expected to say, but suddenly as you looked up at her, you realized it was the truest feeling you’ve ever had.

Her eyes searched yours for a moment. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nodded hard, your hand pressed to the nape of her neck to encourage her to lean down and kiss you once again. As she did, her fingers resumed from the pace that they had left off.

One of JJ’s hands came down to your thigh, grabbing it to hook across her waist. Her fingers hit just the right spot deep inside you and you broke the kiss to moan out a breathy, “I love you.” JJ’s pace sped up even more and that was all it seemed like you knew how to say. You kept saying it until finally, finally you came hard on her fingers.

JJ slowed her pace, letting you ride out your orgasm until you finally took a deep breath. Your eyes stayed closed and JJ, ever so slowly, pulled her fingers out of you.

“Wow,” you panted.

“Yeah,” JJ let out a breathless chuckle. “Wow.” Her hands came up to cup your face again and you pressed a kiss to her palm.

“I do really love you,” you whispered. “I don’t know how it took me this long to see that…”

She shook her head before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Your arms pulled JJ tighter into you and you knew she was right. Despite how long it took you to put up with the bad treatment and accept the fact that she was there this whole time, you two were here now. Together and in love. This was just the beginning of it, and you knew that not only were you finally able to feel truly safe, but that feeling would never go. As long as you had JJ, you felt no fear.

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biahouse · 7 months

Text

Important, Gregory House x Reader

(This is my first story on Tumblr, and also my first Gregory House story. English is not my language, technically all of this is Google translate, so I apologize for any mistakes. But I hope you like it, I have a lot of ideas about our crazy doctor)

You love House. He doesn't care about anyone, but he cares about you. That's something, right?

The first time you met Gregory House was at your job interview.

You knew House's fame in the medical field, so your dream was to work with him and learn about his somewhat orthodox methods.

What you didn't expect was to be completely enchanted by the man 15 years older than you. House was moody, irritating, stupid, arrogant. A card-carrying asshole.

But there was something that made you suspicious every time he entered the diagnostic room. However, you weren't the only one.

You were good at hiding your crush on House, but Cameron always let it be known how much he liked his boss and what deeply upset you.

You were nothing compared to Alisson Cameron. Cameron was beautiful, kind, hardworking, confident. Everything you could never be, even if you tried hard.

That's why you shelved your feelings, buried them at the bottom of your chest and tried to hide as much as you could.

3 years have passed since you joined the team, and now with the departure of Chase, Cameron and Foreman, you were the only original member and House became more and more dependent on you. You have now done the work of four people.

And like a good doctor, you did your best to treat every patient who arrived at the department in the best way possible. But it was exhausting you.

The dark circles became increasingly prominent. You were sure you had lost 2kg in that week alone, since you didn't have time to eat and your hair fell out more and more every time you combed your hair.

But it was three weeks after you were working almost alone in the diagnostics department that your body reached its limit.

House and you were discussing what could be ailing an elderly man when he came up with a really interesting theory.

As always, you were sent to do tons of tests, but the moment you got up from the chair, your entire body lost consciousness.

“House” you mumbled the man’s name as you felt your entire vision blur.

"Yes?" The man responded, distractedly analyzing the symptoms chart.

"I think I'm going to pass out" was the last thing that came out of his mouth before the world went black.

•••

You heard the machine beep before your eyes could discover the place around you. It was hard to open your eyes, the bright lights of the hospital room shining brightly into your eyes.

You could feel your throat dry, and the various threads clinging to your body. It was uncomfortable and you tried to adjust yourself on the hard bed.

"I wouldn't move if I were you" House's unmistakable voice sounded in the room and his gaze shifted to the man lying on the bedroom sofa. "Welcome to the world of the living"

“Hi,” your voice sounded hoarse and you coughed, feeling your throat raw.

"Here" House stood up at an impressive speed and handed him a glass of water with a straw. You sipped the liquid with relief, your throat feeling better within seconds.

"How long was I gone?"

"2 days" House limped so he could check his devices. "You were exhausted, dehydrated and malnourished. New diet?" The man joked.

"The patient..." You started to get worried about the man they were treating.

"You're impressive" House looked at you curiously. "I tell you she's a living dead woman and you care about the patient."

“I’m fine” You waved your hand at him.

"It's not what your scans say" He shook the folder in his possession. "Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't do everything alone?"

“Because I can do it” You insisted.

"You're going to have a week off, until you can recover. In that time, I'm going to review some resumes, you need help" House said once again looking deeply at you.

"Why? You don't want new people on the team, you hate change" you tried to argue, knowing what the man was like.

"But I care about you. I think that's more important than my distaste for people" His admission scared both of you, but neither would admit it."Rest, I'll be back in a bit, with something called food"

And with that he left the room. Leaving behind your flushed face and your racing heart.

#gregory house x reader #gregory house #dr house #james wilson #house md

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simpforchuchu · 1 year

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I′m Always by Your Side | Tsuji x reader who is abused by her boyfriend

(With Shibaman and Todoroki)

a/n: Hello, ive wanted to write something like angst to fluff for my precious Tsuji. Probably there will be second part. That was an amazing idea and thanks to @tiddly-winx for this 💕🥰 I hope you like it 🥺❤

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: abusing, violence, swearing, usual hnl fights, angst to fluff ig

Part2

It was a warm spring day.The weather was starting to get pretty warm and flowers were starting to appear on the trees.Tsuji and Shibaman were drinking milkshakes at the cafe they always go to after school for something to eat and a cold drink.

Actually,only drinking one was Shibaman while Tsuji distractedly playing with the straw in his glass..

Shibaman watched him for a while.He actually knew quite well what he was thinking, but still asked in hopes of getting a different answer.

"Are you going to drink it or wait until all the ice melts?"

Tsuji looked at his friend and then at his glass in surprise. He shook his head and took a long sip of his drink.

"Sorry, I'm a little confused."

Shiba slowly nodded and said, "Are you thinking of Y/n?"

Tsuji sighed deeply and smiled.He nodded and spoke while looking at his drink.

"I haven't seen her much since she had a boyfriend.I don't even know how she is.We're not on bad terms, but I think I miss her."

Shibaman nodded slowly. He had known Tsuji for many years.Tsuji had known Y/n for many years too.And he had a crush on her since middle school.

Only Shibaman knew that.Todoroki, on the other hand, did not show that he knew, although he was aware of everything.

Tsuji's friendship with y/n was different than the one with Shiba.Y/n was a pretty sweet girl.She was nice but not arrogant.She was a quiet but fun person.She cared deeply for her loved ones and was terrified of hurting them.That's why Tsuji would hide from her when he has scars after fights.

Besides his crazy friendship with Shibaman, he had a calmer and more peaceful one with Y/n.

"Why did not you tell ?"

Tsuji looked at him in surprise when Shiba asked.

"You've liked her for years.I can even say you're in love with her. But you never showed it to her. Why? Don't you think she deserves to know?"

Tsuji turned his gaze back to his drink and smiled.

"Isn't it too late now?"

Shiba asked again, keeping his tone of voice.

"I told you many times before she had a boyfriend.Y/n loves you, you know that."

Tsuji raised his head and looked at his friend.

"She likes me as a friend. It's pretty pointless for us to discuss it now"

Shiba was aware of the disappointment on his friend's face no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He knew how much it hurt him.He knew Tsuji well.

He looked calmer, quieter, but he was the tougher one.He wanted to protect those he loved before himself.And not being with y/n right now to protect her was killing him.And no matter how good he was at hiding his feelings, Shibaman was his other half.

"When was the last time you saw her? Maybe you should meet up, it'll be good to see that she is okay too."

Tsuji looked away from his drink and looked out the window. He was watching people pass by as Shiba spoke.

At that time, a very strange coincidence happened and a young girl walked past the cafe. Tsuji recognized her as soon as he saw her and excitedly stood up.Shiba looked at him in surprise for a few seconds and quickly followed him.

"Hey Tsuji, wait a minute!"

Tsuji hesitated as he left the cafe and looked in the direction the young girl was going.Y/n was with her boyfriend. They were talking about something.

Shiba silently stood behind Tsuji and looked in the direction he was looking.He looked at his friend when he saw the scene where they were gonna eventually see one day.He couldn't decipher the expression on his face.

"Let's go back to the cafe if you want"

Tsuji was watching them silently.He didn't look jealous or angry.He was trying to understand something.

Why doesn't y/n look happy with her boyfriend? And what was the topic they were discussing? Why did that boy look like he was scaring her? Or was it all part of his jealousy?

But after a while the boy's voice began to rise, and those around them were looking at the couple.When Shiba realized what Tsuji wanted to do, he gently grabbed his arm.

"Look, she has a boyfriend now. You shouldn't do anything to make her uncomfortable."

Tsuji looked at his friend and pulled his arm hard.Shiba rolled his eyes and walked after him as he began to walk forward without saying a word.

B/n was shouting at y/n while y/n was trying to calm him down.The looks of the people around them made the young girl quite uncomfortable.That's why she didn't want this discussion to go any further.

B/n didn't even realize what was happening, Tsuji stood behind y/n and looked at the young boy. Tsuji was taller and bigger than him, and he was sure stronger.But he wouldn't want to do anything wrong in front of y/n.

"Who the hell are you ?"

Y/n looked back and was quite surprised to see Tsuji.Saying his name in a low voice, Tsuji gave a small nod and asked the young girl.

"Is there a problem ?"

As Y/n shook her head in surprise, b/n took a step towards Tsuji and stood in front of him.

"I'm her boyfriend, who the fuck are you?"

Tsuji clenched his jaw in anger, while Shiba was one step behind, watching them.

"Tsuji, it's okay really. B/n is my boyfriend, it was just a little argument."

When Tsuji turned to the young girl, he knew that she was lying. He knew this was a serious discussion. But he did not have the right to say anything.

"His voice was pretty loud, if-"

"It's okay, really."

When Tsuji nodded, y/n's boyfriend said again

"Mind your own business, it's none of your business."

"The person you're yelling at is my best friend, so it's my business."

Y/n understood that Tsuji was getting quite angry, she was sure that he would beat the shit out of him. She got between the two of them and put her hand on her boyfriend's chest and took a few steps back.

Tsuji looked at her with disappointment when he saw that the young girl was protecting her lover.What did he expect?He was wrong, he shouldn't come here.

"Tsuji, it's okay really. See you later okay?"

When y/n asked in a nervous voice, Tsuji slowly nodded and y/n dragged her boyfriend away. Tsuji slowly turned around and started walking without saying anything, and Shiba followed him.

***

Y/n was walking home in the dark alley with thoughts in her mind.It was her birthday 2 days ago and nothing was the same as it was.

At first, everything was like a fairy tale.She felt that he loved her, he was trying, he was fun, funny, sweet.She didn't even know what changed and when.But now everything had changed drastically.

The discussions, which started with small fits of jealousy at first, started to turn into severe insults and physical violence. She couldn't even see her best friend because of him.

That was the reason for the last fight again but Y/n would never tell Tsuji that. For her birthday, the young boy had bought and sent a cute necklace in the shape of a full moon. When Y/n wore the necklace, her boyfriend had asked and she told him.The fight had grown so much that it ended horribly.

She was wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt in this weather so that no one could see the marks left on her body by her toxic and psychopathic lover, whom she hid from her family, friends and everyone.

She got used to it, it didn't hurt anymore.But she was afraid of him, she really was.She was afraid that he would hurt her family and Tsuji, not herself.

The young girl was so busy with her thoughts that she suddenly bumped into someone. She was about to fall to the ground, and she regained her balance when she was grabbed by the shoulder of the person she had bumped, and looked at the person holding her.

"I'm so sorry- Tsuji??"

Tsuji had probably had a fight again, and there were wounds and dried blood on his face, neck, and hands. He looked like he wanted to run away right now, although he looked quite surprised to see y/n too.

"Hi... are you going home?"

Nodding her head, the young girl grabbed Tsuji's wrist and looked at his knuckles.Tsuji was watching her silently, holding his breath and nervous.

"You fought again, didn't you?"

Y/n's voice, sounding in a scolding tone like his mother, made him smile.He slowly nodded like a guilty child, y/n sighed and shook her head.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

Tsuji quickly shook his head again

"No, don't worry, I'm perfectly fine."

Y/n rolled her eyes and started tugging at the young boy's wrist.Tsuji followed her silently.

"Let's clean your wounds, then eat.Sometimes I don't understand you. How can you be so reckless? When will you stop worrying your mother and me, Tsuji?"

He was listening in silence as Y/n dragged him home with a groan. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling right now. He was sure that Y/n saw him as her friend, but he couldn't help but be happy that she was worried about him.

When they got home, Tsuji took a seat in the living room and y/n returned after a while with the things she had brought for his wounds.

Although he still wanted to laugh at her scolding, the young boy didn't want to make her angry more. He didn't even want her to see him like this. He knew that y/n cared for him.

Y/n was standing between Tsuji's legs, slowly cleaning his wounds, while Tsuji was silently watching her.In the deeper wounds, he could see the worry on the young girl's face. Scaring, she pressed the cotton ball, biting her lip nervously at the deep wounds, trying to be gentle.

Tsuji was grateful. It was good to see her after a long time. Tsuji noticed the cute necklace around her neck as Y/n bent a little. She was wearing the necklace he had bought. He wanted to cry from happiness, even though he couldn't show it right now.

But soon after, he saw the bruises on the sides of the necklace. Though he thought it was something else at first, he realized it was small wounds that were starting to heal.Soon after, he noticed the young girl's wrist, she had the same bruises on her wrist.

When Tsuji realized what had happened, he quickly stood up and y/n looked at him in surprise.The young girl didn't have the slightest idea what was going on.

Tsuji couldn't stay calm right now, so he wasn't thinking about what he was doing. He grabbed her wrist and rolled up the sleeve of her shirt as the young girl winced in pain. He looked at her in shock at the scars he saw.

"Y/n... what the hell is this?"

When Y/n averted her eyes, Tsuji slowly grabbed her chin and turned her towards him.

"Y/n, I asked you a question."

The young boy's anger was bare, but he still tried to remain calm.

The young girl did not want to say. She knew that Tsuji will hate her, that it was her fault. She is also a coward. That's why she didn't want to tell the boy in front of her that her boyfriend abused her.

"Did that son of a bitch do this y/n?" Tsuji couldn't keep his cool when the young girl didn't say anything. "Y/n say something!"

The young girl was startled by the stern voice, nodded slowly, and Tsuji left the house without saying anything with the confirmation. he was so fast that y/n didn't even know what to do.

While he was going to find that guy, y/n quickly called Shibaman and explained the situation to him.

***

Tsuji hadn't even thought about coming here. He was so angry, so full of hatred that he didn't think if the boy was alone or if he had a weapon.

He saw him sitting with two of his friends in an empty parking lot and went inside. At first there was shouting between them, and the boy's arrogant attitude made him very angry.

"I knew you were in love with that little bitch. What happened? Are you this angry because she chose me instead of you?"

Tsuji had such an expression on his face that it was difficult to understand what he was thinking.

"You were supposed to protect her. Y/n loved you, she trusted you. How can you hurt her? Do you think you're a man when you hit someone weaker than you?"

When Tsuji shouted, B/n also got up and walked towards him. When he wanted to hit Tsuji in anger, Tsuji grabbed the boy's arm hard and knocked him down with a single punch.

"What are you standing there!"

It didn't take long for a fight when his two friends with him attacked Tsuji. Tsuji knew well that these guys weren't strong, they were just trying to look like it.Tsuji and B/n were left alone when their friends ran away from the parking lot.

The young boy stood up again.Tsuji defended himself with his arm as he took the pipe on the ground and tried to hit it at Tsuji.He didn't even care about his pain. As soon as he took the pipe from his hand, he knocked the boy down again.

He thought he was going to go crazy as the bruises on y/n's body came to his mind.He got more dizzy when he saw the boy on the ground pull a small pocketknife from his pocket.He hated dirty fighting.

He kicked the boy's hand hard with his foot and swept the knife away from him. He got on top of him and started punching him one after the other.He didn't know how much time passed, but he stopped at the sound he heard.

"Tsuji stop now, you're going to kill him!"

He looked at the boy under him, his face covered in blood. He then looked at his hands. He turned to them and looked at Todoroki, who was calling out to him.

Shibaman had called Todoroki as soon as he heard about it. They had come running when Y/n mentioned the parking lot.

"Stop, get up. It is enough, you're going to kill him."

Tsuji shouted when Todoroki calmly said

"He hurt her. He hurt Y/n. She had bruises on her arms. That bastard didn't even deny it."

Todoroki knew how angry Tsuji was, he was also angry. But he wasn't going to let his friend ruin his life.

"I know, but that's enough-"

"Tsuji!"

As Todoroki was speaking, another voice was heard. Tsuji knew very well the owner of this voice. He looked at the young girl who had entered the parking lot and was staring at him in horror. Shiba and Todoroki were also looking at her.

Tsuji slowly got up from the ground and stood up. He looked at his hands and the boy on the ground once more. He never wanted Y/n to see him like this.

They stared in silence for a while.Tsuji thought it was all over now as Y/n ran towards them. He thought that she would hate him for beating the bastard on the ground and even will afraid of him.

But it didn't turn out as expected.Y/n didn't go to her boyfriend. She ran and hugged Tsuji's waist. She hugged him so tightly that Tsuji was in shock, trying to understand what was going on.

"I was afraid something bad would happen to you. I was terrified that something would happen to you because of me."

With the young girl's crying voice and her arms wrapping tightly around him, Tsuji slowly hugged her.Tsuji hugged her tightly as Y/n leaned a little closer to his chest and started to cry. And he placed thousand kisses on her hair.

***

Shibaman looked at the two in the living room through the door.Tsuji held y/n tightly on his lap and watched the sleeping girl without blinking. Y/n had cried a lot, Tsuji couldn't hold back the tears as he held her and tried to calm her down. Now y/n had fallen asleep while Tsuji was holding her as if he would never let her go.

Shiba silently walked over to Todoroki, who was sitting in the kitchen, and placed the coffee on the counter on the table.

"How is Tsuji?" Todoroki asked nervously.Tsuji and Shibaman were always by his side. No matter he never shows it,they were his first friends. It was also the first time he saw Tsuji like this.

He had known for a long time that he loved y/n. But the situation was very serious. That's why he was afraid of him making a mistake.

"Y/n is sleeping and he is watching her. Even though he doesn't say anything, I know how scared and angry he is. I won't leave him alone for a while."

Todoroki nodded, he was thinking the same thing.

"Y/n doesn't know, does she?"

Shiba slowly nodded and smiled

"You can't easily understand Tsuji's feelings. Even when he's happy, he doesn't show much. He doesn't get angry as easily as I do. But when it comes to his loved ones, even I am afraid of what he might do."

Todoroki slowly nodded his head again

"I'll take care of this situation, Yuken said that boy is a dick."

There was a little silence, then Todoroki stood up.

"I'll check on the two of them, then I'll go home. Call me if there's a problem"

Shiba nodded and Todoroki walked into the hall. He looked at the two from the door.Tsuji had laid Y/n on the couch and covered her.He was sitting on the floor right next to the sofa.And he had fallen asleep too.

Todoroki smiled and took the blanket off the side and gently placed it over Tsuji. He wanted the two of them to be happy and promised to do his best for it.

HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx @satraninalane @thatpoindexterpixy

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bestworstcase · 8 months

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I found your blog via your post about yang and strength, got really interested, and then I ended up reading through a loooooot of your rwby commentary, and now I’ve got a question for you, if you don’t mind: Is it okay to want Penny to come back? I’ve read a lot of your analysis of her story arc and character, specifically that giant post you wrote about her in november 2021. i um, have definitely been guilty of wanting her to come back a whole lot. I’ve definitely done some frantic and outlandish theorycrafting to cope, but also I really do see what you mean about how her atlas arc is meant to be a tragic ending, so I don’t know how to reconcile my appreciation for the show’s story with my desire of just… really wanting to see her again?

This isn’t me asking you about whether or not she might come back because I’ve made my peace with whatever happens, this is just me asking if like… am I entitled or ungrateful for missing her so much that it makes me cry when such a wonderful story is being told in the show as a whole?

of course it’s okay!!!

the fact that her death had such a profound and lasting emotional impact on you speaks to the strength of the storytelling and the care that the writers poured into her character. tragedy aspires to incite the feelings you’re describing for the purpose of emotional release; catharsis is the whole reason tragedy exists at all.

you’re not just allowed to cry—you’re meant to. you’re supposed to care deeply that she’s gone. it matters. the story grieves for her and it’s inviting you to grieve too. when ruby breaks down over losing penny, it’s okay to be right there with her emotionally.

wanting her to come back or hoping that she might is a natural aspect of that feeling. theorizing—even in a grasping at straws kind of way—is a natural way to process that feeling. so is writing or reading “fix-it” fic or other kinds of AUs where penny survives or returns or never endured that ordeal in the first place. inherent to catharsis is the idea that letting painful feelings out is not only good but necessary for emotional well-being.

(you are also under no obligation to like every creative decision a story makes and it is entirely okay to feel like penny dying in v8 lessened your enjoyment of the story overall, if that’s how you feel. by no means do you owe it to any story to like everything about it just because it’s written well.)

what is entitled is the attitude held by a specific subset of hardcore penny 3.0 theorists that penny’s death was something bad that the writers did to the audience that they now have an obligation to “fix” or “make right”—often accompanying a sentiment along the lines of “why even bring her back if they were just going to kill her off?” and dismissal of her entire presence in the atlas arc as “just fanservice,” sometimes with the implication that the writers took advantage of penny fans only to stab them in the back.

the entitlement comes from the failure or refusal to recognize that the writer’s room does not revolve around what penny fans would like to happen (or indeed fans of any other character) and a narrative turn that upsets you is not something that the writers have done to hurt you. it’s entitled to act like the writers owe it to you to bring a character back to life, which was the general tenor of a lot of high-profile penny 3.0 discourse back in 2021 although the attitude has mellowed since then.

(& just in case: if you, personally, were in the category of penny fans who felt outraged or hurt back then and wanted to demand that the writers make it up to you by reviving her, and you’ve since reflected on those feelings and moved on from them to—as you say—make peace with whatever the story has planned, That Is Also Okay, and you should not beat yourself up over it. this is not something you need to feel guilty about.)

as for how to reconcile appreciating the story for what it is and still feeling like crying when you think about penny… i mean this completely in earnest, even if you’ve never written anything before in your life, try writing a fanfic where she lives or finds her way back or her friends manage to save her. not just reading or looking at fanart—i do think that there is really something to be said for making your own fanworks. writing or drawing gives you a degree of control over what happens in your story or artwork that you can’t get anywhere else and that can be a very comforting outlet when mourning a character.

you’re okay.

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chicaotaku-fanfics · 1 month

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There's Three of You?! Pt. 10

Ok, I'm soooooo sorry for the delay on this one. I really hoped I could post it when I said, but unlucky for me, life came in the way.

Warnings: foul language, might be some medical inconsistencies.

CHAPTER 10

After all that ordeal with “Her Highness” and helping Reese, I decided to go to the lounge, but decided otherwise last minute and went to the cafeteria instead for a coffee. There, I was in line and got an iced large white mocha, with one more white mocha pump, soy milk, and two more espresso shots, I waited near the bar for it, and while doing so, I saw Connor approach a table where his sister and… oh wow, the one and only Cornelius Rhodes, were seating.

“Dad.” Connor said, I was then given my coffee, and I went to the bar to grab some napkins, all the time having an ear on my friend’s conversation.

“Doctor. How's our patient doing?” asked the older Rhodes.

“Russel's stabilized for now. I have found something that could help us with the surgery. It's an imaging system called Surgical Theatre SNAP.” Connor explained, I thought about that. It was a very good ide and, the tech was amazing, I’ve seen it in action, thanks to a med journal Will shared with me, it was wonderful. My brother must’ve said something to Connor about it.

“Okay.” Claire’s voice made me come back to the present.

“It's FDA approved, so insurance is gonna cover it, but Russel is going to be looking at a lengthy hospital stay afterwards, and I just want to make sure that–” Connor cut himself off.

“That somebody covers the co-pay?” asked Mr. Rhodes.

“We will.” said Claire in an instant.

“Hang on there, Bernie Sanders. Now, I love Russel as much as you do, but we have to be responsible to the company. Are you prepared to do this for every one of our employees?” asked the older Rhodes, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“We are talking about Russel here. God, he's worked for us since he was 14 years old. He's family.” said Connor.

“Us? When did it become "us"?” asked Mr. Rhodes with a smirk on his face. Connor looked annoyed and defeated, he turned to leave the place, walking by Dr. Charles on the way out, I had already started to move to catch him.

“That's your dad?” asked the head of psychiatry.

“Yep.” said Connor unenthusiastically.

“Fathers like that keep me in business, baby.” said the older doctor with a snort, Connor kinda smiled.

By the time we were out of sight of everyone, I chose to make my presence known to the surgeon.

“For what its worth, I already knew who you were. Dind’t influence me in anyway.” I said, he turned to look at me with a confused expression on his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean Dr. Halstead?” he asked, we made our way out and went to the elevator, it arrived and we got inside.

“It means, Dr. Rhodes, that I don’t care if you’re a Rhodes, a Callahan, or whatever other family name. You’re you Connor. You’re Dr. Connor Rhodes, a great trauma surgeon and an excellent doctor who cares deeply about his patients. Your upbringing and family name don’t matter to me.” I said, he looked relieved with what I said.

“You really are something else Lilly Halstead. Thank you.” he said, I smiled at him and offered him a drink of my coffee, he took the drink, gave it a stir with the straw and took a sip. He gave it back and I gave a good sip too.

“Don’t need to thank me Con. That’s what friends are for.” I said with a smile. He smiled too, offering his fist for a fistbump, I did and then we made our way to the lounge. “Oh, and I aslo heard my brother recommended the SNAP for your patient’s CT scans.” I said nonchalantly.

Connor let out a sigh and then a snort. “Yeah, before mentioning the family business and that he could only buy some socks there.” I let out a sigh too.

“My brother will tell anybody who will listen of his school debts any chance he gets… but there’s a foundation behind that.” I started to explain. “I don’t mean to make my brother, or me for that matter, seem like a charity case because of what I’m about to say” I warn the man beside me.

“He may be a pain in the ass, but he’s earning my respect.” Connor said, I nodded.

“Will always comments on his debts, because our father never supported his drive to go to college.” I said, Connor looked confused. “Yeah, my father is very, VERY, traditional and conservative in some ways… one of them being the belief that a man has to go straight to work… you can guess how that went.” I made a pause, remembering that day very well. “It was an awful argument. Jay made the effort for me not to see it, but in the end, the aftermath was obvious: Will stormed out the house with his things and left to New York, and that also meant that he had to put himself through college and med school… since then, they haven’t seen eye to eye, or more like, us Halstead siblings haven’t seen our father eye to eye in a long time.” I said.

“I’m sorry to hear that Lilly.” he said, the elevator ringed on the ED floor and we both got out.

“Don’t sweat it. Like I said, I’m not trying to make a charity case out of my brother… nor out of us three. I know we had it rough, growing up where and how we did, but we made it: Will and I are doctors and Jay is a detective. We’re good with being each other's support system.” I said with a small smile and gave my coffee another sip.

As we made our way to the “control center”, commonly known to everyone else as the “nurses desk”, Connor took my coffee and gave it another sip, we ended up sharing it, the last sip being mine. Maggie saw us since we came out of the elevator, clearly surprised and even amused by what we were doing.

“Care to share what you two are doing?” asked our beloved head nurse.

“Nothing Mags, just sharing a coffee.” I said nonchalantly.

“I could see that.” she said, smug and teasing at the same time, both Connor and I chuckled, Maggie looked at me in shock.

“I had heard Will comment on it, as well as Jay, but I told them I wouldn’t believe it until I saw it… and now I have, the famous “Halstead Chuckle®”. Girl you really are the spiting image of your brothers when you do that.” Maggie said, I let out another chuckle, giving the head nurse a charming, cheeky smile.

“What can I say Mags? Runs in the family.” I said, she snorted at my comment, and gave me an iPad.

“Your new patient. Treatment 2, little boy with a dislocated shoulder and scrapes on his knees.” said the nurse, pointing both of us in the direction of the treatment room. We turn to her, asking with our eyes why would she need two doctors to cover one simple case. “The mom is almost in hysterics.” I smile and shake my head, Connor snorts beside me.

“It’s showtime Dr. Rhodes.” I said with a small smirk on my face.

“Indeed Dr. Halstead.” said Connor with the same expression on his face. Just as we made our way to the treatment room, my brother came out of the doctors lounge, looking at us with a confused expression.

WILL’S P.O.V

“Since when do those two get along so well?” I asked Maggie, as I saw my baby sister and Rhodes go for one of the treatment rooms.

“Since day one, actually. Your sister’s an angel, compared to you.” she said, that last part with fake annoyance.

“Oh come on, I’m a delight!” I said, a cheeky and boyish smile on my face, Maggie looked at me shocked, then shook her head with a smile.

“You two are mirror images.” she said, I made a confused expression, she then pointed towards the treatment room where my sister and Connor had disappeared to. “You and Lilly!” she clarified. I snorted.

“Yeah, we get that a lot. Is as if we were siblings or something” I said to annoy her, it worked a little too well, cause she hit me with a folder containing a patient file. I laughed. “I give! I give!” I said in between laughs.

“You are something else William Halstead.” Maggie said, then Lilly’s and Connor’s voices carry out to us, both Maggie and I look up just in time to see them both coming out of the treatment room, smiles on their faces, they grab some antibacterial gel and walk over to us. Lilly has the iPad under her arm.

“Another successful treatment. Maggie get us the discharge papers for little Tim, please and thank you.” she asked the nurse, handing her the iPad back, then she noticed me. “Wish you behaved that well when we were kids.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I was the role model for both you and Jay.” I said, she just looked at me with her «are you kidding?» face.

“Really? The role model who, when we were 14, 12, and 10 years old respectively, was practicing how to play the guitar, made Jay angry, got his nose broken and proceeded to make the three of us siblings escape dad’s anger by sneaking out the piping line next to his bedroom window which, may I remind you, wasn’t the first time you prompt us to escape that way?” she said. I blushed, Maggie out right laughed, and Connor snorted.

“Never thought you were raking havoc since your early teens Halstead.” he said.

“Oh shush you.” I said to my sister, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I lightly pushed her and she laughed.

GOODWIN’S P.O.V

I was in my office checking some papers and patient forms, when the door was knocked. I gave permission for the person on the other side to come in… and in came Cornelius Rhodes. We talked, and went back and forth on an “issue”, Dr. Rhodes’s involvement in a patient’s care.

“I'm not sure you're aware, but Connor knows Russel Rollins, and it just didn't seem appropriate to me that my son be the one treating him.” he said.

“Well, the degree of familiarity doesn't warrant taking Dr. Rhodes off the case, and Mr. Rollins, when he was lucid, did not request another physician.” I explained

“Let me put it another way.” he started. “I would like Russel to receive the very best medical care, and I do not think my son can provide that.” he said.

“Your son is a first-rate surgeon, otherwise I would not have hired him.” I said.

“I want him off the case.” he demanded. This man has to be joking.

“It's not your decision to make, sir.” I said, firm on my stand.

“Excuse me, but I'm the one writing checks here.” he said, trying to intimidate me with his wealth.

“And while we appreciate that, this is my shop, and I will not be pulling Dr. Rhodes from the case.” I said, finality in my voice.

“I want you to remember this conversation, because if anything happens to Russel, you will be repeating it in a courtroom.” he threatened.

“I will remember. And you, sir, have a nice day.” I said,standing up, dismissing him.

“This may not be your shop for long.” he threatened again as he stood up.

I’d like to see you try Mr. Rhodes.

LILLY’S P.O.V

About three hours later, I had discharged Tim, checked on other patients, had helped Connor and Will with other patients and I was now on the lounge with my third cup of coffee of the day. I then got a page from Connor, requesting my presence in the main neuro OR room, I went there and was, again, amazed at the function of the SNAP.

“Incredible.” said Dr. Zanetti.

“Wait till you get the headset on. It's like I'm moving around inside of his body.” said Connor, I let out a low whistle.

“This is definitely amazing… remind me to tell Will that he’s a genius for recommending this.” I said, Dr. Zanetti looked at me with a sour expression on her face.

“Okay, so tell me how this thing works.” requested Ms. Goodwin.

“It combines images from the CT angiogram and creates a three-dimensional model of the patient's anatomy. With the HTC Vibe, you get virtual reality. It allows us to better tailor our operation.” Dr. Zanetti explained. “Are you having some concerns?” she asked

“No, no, no, just--just curious. Oh, by the way, Dr. Rhodes, I met your father today.” said Ms. Goodwin.

“Yeah? Did he charm you?” asked Connor.

“Not exactly.” she said with a serius tone.

“If its any consolation Ms. Goodwin, he didn’t charm me either.” I said, she smiled a small smile at me. I nodded.

“Hey, Dr. Zanetti. Take a look at the middle-left subclavian artery.” said Connor.

“The glass is going straight through. It's like a finger in a dike.” she said.

“I can't believe there's still flow past the injury.” added Connor, I was looking at the image with all of my attention.

“Rotate a little to the left.” said Zanetti, but I spotted the problem before she did.

“There. Looks like our dike sprung a leak.” I said, worried about our patient, I could tell Zanetti was mad at me, while Goodwin looked at me with awe and surprise on her face.

“He's bleeding.” Ms. Goodwin said.

“Yeah.” said Connor and I at the same time.

“If I may?” I asked, Connor nodded. “I think you can get away with a collarbone incision.” I gave my opinion.

Zanetti didn’t looked please that I had pretty much “stolen” her idea, but I don’t care, my priority is our patient… even if I can’t assist in the surgery.

“Come on, let's go.” said Zanetti to Connor.

I stayed behind for a little longer, looking at the image in front of me with Ms. Goodwin by my side.

“Good call Dr. Halstead… very good call.” she said, before pating my shoulder and leaving. I turned off everything and headed out. I managed to catch up to Dr. Zanetti and Connor.

“Claire, Dad, this is Dr. Zanetti. Russel is being prepped for surgery right now, and she and I will perform the operation.” Connor explained.

“Okay.” said Claire.

“You must have a lot of faith in him.” said Mr. Rhodes, smirking cynically.

“I do.” said the blonde surgeon.

“And so do I.” I announce my presence.

“Hmm, I never thought I'd see the day; my son saving lives.” said the older Rhodes, clearly ignoring me, making it sound like mockery. I decided it was time to step in.

“Then why does it sound like you’re mocking him, Mr. Rhodes?” I asked the man, he turned to look at me.

“And you are?” he asked, confusion and annoyance clear in his voice.

“Dr. Lillian Halstead. Emergency Medicine physician with a double certification in Forensic Pathology.” I said, extending my hand to him, he seemed shocked, as well as both the younger Rhodes and the blonde surgeon.

“Well, Dr. Halstead, I don’t see where you could get the idea that I’m mocking my son. I’m genuinely impressed with what he does.” he tried to lie to my face, I decided to call him out on his bullcrap.

“We all know that’s a lie Mr. Rhodes.” again, everyone seemed surprised. “If you’re wonderig how I know you lied, it’s pretty easy; you can school your expressions all you want, make an impenetrable mask… a poker face if you will, but your microexpressions…” I pause, letting out my Halstead Chuckle® “those are way harder to control Mr. Rhodes.”

“What do you think gives you the right to…” he started, I interrupted him.

“Talk to you like that?” he seemed surprised. “Remember the part were I said I have a Forensic Pathology certification? I might as well add my Forensic Psychology certification to the mix.” I said, and as an «afterthought», added the icing on the proverbial cake. “As well as my experience as the medical consultant for CPD’s District 21’s Intelligence Unit. I believe you’ve heard of Sergeant Hank Voight?” I said, Mr. Rhodes paled at the mention of the man, nodding. “I’ve worked with him and his unit. Might do you good remembering that Mr. Rhodes.” I said, smirking. I then turned to Dr. Zanetti and Connor. “Well, Dr. Zanetti, Dr. Rhodes, I’ll get out of your hair so you can perform the surgery… I’ll see you later.” and with that, and my charming smile I left them all to go back to the ED.

I arrived back just in time to hear my brother explain something to Natalie, worried about one of his patients, why he became a doctor.

“I became a doctor to save people's lives.” he said, getting a bit mad. “It's all I've ever wanted to do. I don't have a fallback plan or some hidden passion. This is it for me.” he added, making a pause. “It's just… no one ever told me there'd be this much loss involved.” he asid, storming off in the opposite direction to where Natalie was, directly into my way to the lounge. I followed my brother and enter the room.

“Hey. No one blames you, you know. Sometimes… patients don’t see what we see, and even if we explain it to them, they still need time to process things.” I said, Will turned to look at me. Then, in one swift move, he took me into his arms, hugging me and resting his head in my shoulder, something that should be a feat of wonder, since this redheaded giant is easily 8 inches taller than me.

“Thank you for being here Lilypad… I don’t know what I’d do without you… or Jay.” he said, his voice sounding so small. I ruffled his hair and kissed his head.

“You never have to thank me for that Will. I love you. I’ll always be there for you.” I said, honesty and certainty in my tone, I felt Will’s smile against my neck.

“I love you too Lilly.”

We spent some time there, until Will had to leave to check on his patient. I decided to do the same and went to look for Connor… which was easier than I thought cause he was looking for me.

“Hey, Lilly!” he said.

“Hi Connor.”

“What you did back there with my father…” he started.

“I’ll start by saying that, if he wants an apology, he won’t get one. He doesn’t deserve it.” I said, he right out laughed.

“No, no… don’t worry about that.” he took a moment to catch his breath. “I just wanted to thank you, for having my back, back there. My father has always been an ass, but having your support and seeing the way you talked back to him… I’ll never be able to repay you.” he said, I smiled.

“No need to thank me Connor, that’s what friends are for. And now that I found you… or more like, you found me I wanted to ask, how was the surgery?” I asked him, we made our way down the hall and Ms. Goodwin catched up to us.

“Dr. Rhodes, how's your patient?” asked Ms. Goodwin once we´re approaching Connor’s family.

“The surgery was successful, and he should be okay.” he said, I smile at that, relieved everything turned out alright.

“Oh, thank God.” said Claire, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Isn't that great news, Mr. Rhodes?” asked Ms. Goodwin, I turn to look at him too.

“Yes, I had every faith in my son.” he said, cynical smile on his face.

Liar. I think, biting my tongue in an effor not to say a thing.

“That's exactly what I told the Chairman of the Board when he dropped by to see me today.” said Ms. Goodwin, Connor and I looked shocked for a quick second.

“Thank you.” said Claire to Connor, he turned to look at her and grabbed her hand in his.

“Of course.” he said to her.

“Well, looks like we can go. Thank you very much.” said Mr. Rhodes, I can tell my presence was making him uncomfortable.

“Dolan Rhodes. That's a big name in Chicago. Growing up with that can give a person a skewed perspective, like whatever he wants, he ought to get.” said Ms. Goodwin casually.

“My dad give you a hard time?” asked Connor, a bit down in the dumps.

“Nothing I couldn't handle.” she said with a chuckle.

“My grandfather was the one who started the business.” he told us.

“Oh?” I asked, curiosity at its peak.

“Yeah. Salt to the Earth kind of guy. He used to say to me, «You're gonna have to work harder than everybody else,» you know? «Be better than everybody else so that you don't turn out like everybody expects you to.»” he said, and I can’t help but remember my own grandfather.

“Hmm.” was Ms. Goodwin’s way to ask Connor to continue.

“«So that you don't turn out like your father.» Took me a while to get that message.” He said.

“Well, congratulations, Dr. Rhodes.” said Ms. Goodwin, before leaving to go God-knows-where.

I turn to look at Connor, and seeing him still leaning on the nurses’ desk, I bump his side with mine. He turns to look at me, confused. I look at him with a smile.

“Congratulations indeed. You not only didn’t turn out like your father… you’re a better human being than him.” I say sincerely, Connor looks at me shocked, then chuckles and side hugs me.

“Thanks Lilly.” I return the hug as my way of responding.

After our moment, I went back to the ED, only to find Will looking at Natalie with hearts in his eyes as she played the violin with her patient. I stood beside him, putting my hands inside my scrubs’ pants pockets.

“Didn’t know she played the violin.” I said to make my presence known to my brother.

“She’s good at it.” Will said, I wanted to chuckle at the way he sounded.

“I can give her that.” I said, Will turned slightly to look at me.

“Would you try to learn how to play?” he asked, I snorted.

“With our kind of hectic schedules? No thank you. I’ll stick to my base, guitar and singing, thank you very much for asking.” I said, patting his shoulder and heading to the lounge to get my stuff. “Don’t stay here for too long, I actually wanna manage to grab a bite for dinner with you.” I said to him.

Finally, all the chapters I had written are posted! I appreciate that you've given my story a chance, it means a lot to me.

Feel free to leave comments, reblog, and like if you enjoy this crazy ride we're all in. Also, I've posted the AO3 link here, feel free to go there too if you want.

(Note, the next chapter's in the making, I beg for consideration and patience.)

Thanks again, tons of love.

ChicaOtaku out! 💜

#one chicago #fanfic #oc #will halstead #jay halstead #halstead sister #halstead brothers #connor rhodes #fanfiction #chicago fire #chicago med #chicago pd

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igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Outside the box: Spencer Reid x reader

A/N: OC in this story is Gideon’s daughter, Sienna, aged 28, part-time college lecturer, full time helping the BAU team, cause yes, she’s about to be the profiler like her father. Reader is a college student, aspiring to join BAU, friends with Sienna, but not her student (cause befriending your teacher would be unethical, right :D), she’s somewhere around 21. Spencer is 24, just like in season 1.

Reader and OC are obviously two different people.

Also, my first Criminal Minds fic, and I;m still on season 1 so please don't eat me alive cause I can sense heavy OOC.

Summary: someone had a stressful week, filled with task and cases and one failed exam which became the last straw in the mental breakdown. So what can be better than searching help from a friend?

@somest1 I really hope this will make you feel at least slightly better.

***

“Look who decided to show up! Did your students finally killed your enthusiasm for teaching them something?”

“Haha. Extremely funny, Morgan” Sienna scoffed and threw her backpack onto the nearest chair, stretching her back “Maybe I should ask you if my father finally killed your self-confidence, but from what I can see it’s clearly impossible.”

“I’m sorry, dr Gideon” Derek stood up and came closer to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her into his chest, making her squeak in the effect “I missed you, babe.” He added, breathing in her characteristic fresh smell.

“Stop it.” She punched his chest playfully “I had enough trouble convincing everyone I’m good and I got here only because of my knowledge and skills and not because of my father. I don’t need you trying to make my efforts futile.”

“Oh, come on. Us being together is not a secret.” He caressed her back and she shivered involuntarily.

“Sienna.” Jason’s Gideon voice came from behind and Morgan had no choice but to let her go. Normally he had no problem with PDA, but not exactly right in front of his girl’s father’s eye.

“Hello dad. Professor Brown send his regards. He’s missing you dearly.”

“I’m sure he is.” Jason muttered. Brown was the first one to show his happiness when Gideon was called back on field.

“How’s the case going?”

“It would be going faster if you were helping…..”

“That is precisely why I am here” she grinned sending a wink towards Morgan, who just sighed deeply “Where is Mr IQ?”

“In the conference room with Elle. They are trying to put some pieces together.”

“I’m on my way to help. See you later, hon” not caring about her father gaze she raised on her tiptoes and kissed Morgan on the cheek before rushing to join Spencer and Elle.

“Don’t you got job to do as well, agent Morgan?” Jason smirked at the other man who just turned around and went to search for Patch. It was pretty funny how this macho man was turning into shy kitten whenever Gideon caught him with his daughter.

***

When Sienna got to the room the only person she found was Spencer, no Elle in sight.

“Hello, Spencer.”

“Hello Sienna. Your father mentioned you might be joining us.”

“My pleasure, so what are we working on here?”

Reid started to explain the case to her but before they got to the good part sudden commotion got their attention.

“Sienna!”

“Oh, shit, what the hell happened this time?” she muttered standing up, trying to look above the heads what or who might be the source of the furore. “WHAT?” she yelled at the top of her lungs making Reid cringe

“You are so different from your father, you know…. “ he muttered

“Yes, obviously, it’s my natural charm.”

“You got a guest, Sienna.” Patch showed himself up, crouching figure mincing behind him

“A guest? Here? Who would…..?”

“Sienna……” said figure sobbed

“Oh my god, Y/N? What happened? Why are you here?”

“I …. I had nowhere else to go….. I;m sorry. I know it’s your work and I should not interrupt, but …..”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.” Sienna put an arm around her friends arms and led her to the nearest chair making the girl sit down out of the prying eyes of Reid and Hotch. “Go away” she mouthed at the later. “How did you get in here? I gotta admit I’m impressed, you know. Normally the security would just go through the whole procedure to let you in.

“I told them I came to see you….” Y/N sobbed “And seeing me like this….”

“Yeah, I get it. It was easy to believe you were a victim of some crime.”

“Mhm…..”

“Ok, so, stop crying and tell me what’s wrong.” Sienna put a hand on Y/N’s arm. Come on, whatever it is, I;m sure we can handle.”

“It’s professor Boston. He…. He….. I failed his test. And this whole week has just been a mess and I can’t handle all the stress….”

“Wait till you get to work…..” Sienna muttered

“Maybe you can talk to him? Convince him to cut me some slack?”

“Boston? Even my dad could not persuade that old prick to do a thing. I’m sorry, Y/N. But you know what, I got an idea” she almost jumped from her chair due to the excitement. “Just…. just wait here, ok? I’ll be right back.”

“It’s not like I have another choice, do I?” Y/N shrugged knowing her friend too well. Once Sienna set her mind into something there was no way of things going differently.

***

“Spencer. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer”

“Are you catatonic now?” Reid raised eyes onto Sienna who was now right in front of him, smiling as wide as ever.

“Not that I would know that, but no. I got a favor to ask.”

“A favor?”

“Mhm. You remember my friend, Y/n there? You have meet......”

“At the university. I know you have very little faith in me, but I remember people I work with.”

“Do you now?” Sienna raised an eyebrow, testing his patience. Around a month earlier, she forced convinced Reid to give a lecture to the students. Y/N was one of the most interested in the subject and when it ended she shyly approached him to ask some further questions. They spend like two hours talking and exchanging opinions. Also, later on, Y/N and a few more students joined some extracurricular classes that Reid also joined (meaning of course that Sienna made him join knowing it would be good for his people skills).

“She gave me some food for thoughts. She's a smart one."

“Really? What a great coincidence then. Cause I’m gonna need you to help her.”

“What? Why? With what?”

“She failed a test.”

“So? If she was studying more…..”

“Don’t be prick!” Sienna swat his head lightly “Didn’t you ever fail….. Oh, sorry, of course you did not. You got IQ of 175….”

“187.” He corrected with flat face

“you never done a thing wrong in your life.” She continued, unimpressed “You’re a genius, blah, blah, blah.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Really? You don’t say." she mocked "I’m serious Reid. She could really use your help with studying.”

“I don’t think I have enough time …..”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this, damn my honor. Please, Spencer. If you refuse to help how about some comforting words at least, hm? You know, she admires you. All those things I just mocked? She believes you to be an amazing, interesting person. An all-rounder with extensive knowledge and even if I hate it I have to admit that you truly are. You’re like some role model for her…..”

“I am?” he raised an eyebrow, quite suprised.

“Sure. And I saw that look on your face when she approached you after class. You like her.”

“I don’t….. want…..”

“Go talk to her. Just that. Maybe something good will come from this or maybe not, but you got a chance to do something good to another living being. How does that sound?”

“Um…..”

“Come on, Spencer. Take a leap of faith….”

“But she’s a student….”

“She’s three years younger than you. I know relationships with bigger age difference and they work well….” She looked across the room and her gaze focused on Morgan who was covered in some paperwork “he’s so handsome when he’s working…..” she muttered like a love sick puppy “just glowing…..”

“Ok, fine, I’ll go! Just please stop…. Whatever this is you’re doing. “

“Thank you, Reid.” She grinned turning back to her normal self. Oh, she was a sneaky one.

***

“Y/N?”

“Yes? Doctor Reid?” the girl looked up at him, surely not expecting that this was the “idea” of Sienna. “I…. I ……”

“dr Gideon mentioned to me what happened. May I?” he asked pointing at the spot next to Y/N who eagerly nodded.

“Did she?” I’m going to kill her.

“Mhm. You know, it’s …. normal for people to mess up sometimes.”

“Speaking from experience?” she chuckled and he followed “Maybe I am just stupid…..”

“You’re not stupid.” He panted without any hesitation. ”This is just an inconvenience. Like in the investigation. We are begin misled dozens of times. We are being played with, questioned, fooled at times, forced to change the approach, the strategy. But all those little obstacles are what steer us in the right direction. Mistakes happen, sometimes regardless of us. And you are not stupid. You would never make it this far if you were.“

“How can you tell? You don’t know me.”

“I know enough from your classes and Sienna’s stories."

“She’s been talking about me?”

“sometimes. Quite impressive things. And I know first-handed she’s not the one to get easily impressed. Did you know she laughed at my IQ?” he blurted without thinking. Why was this girl affecting him like this?

“Sounds like her. “ Y/n laughed “But that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“ For now. “

“How so?”

“Moliere once said the greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. And you seem like a strong person. You…..you would be a good addition to the team. You have analytical brain and good instincts.”

“Again, how can you tell?”

“You asked me good questions back at those lectures. And I saw you working on the cases Sienna assigned to you as extra tasks. You are resilient, not giving up easily. And I'm sure you are not going to give up now."

"Now I can tell you are working with the profilers." she smiled sadly “but I don’t think that me putting in effort and being stubborn is enough. This class is ..... " she sighed, a few unmentionable words on the tip of her tounge "If I fail......"

"And what if you pass? Why not focus on the good outcome?"

"Oh, you;re a scientist. Don't bullshit me with wishful thinking."

"It's scientifically proven that good thoughts stimulate production of serotonin. And that helps you relax and focus better on the task."

"Hm." she muttered "I;d rather just have a piece of chocolate. I can't mess it up again."

“You won’t” he blurted out

“How…..?”

“I’ll help you. “

“You what now?” she spat angrily but quickly realised her wrongdoing “I'm sorry….” Her eyes widened in fear when she realized she was talking to the guy who was so much smarter and more esteemed than her “sorry, dr Reid, I did not mean to ….”

“You can call me Spencer. It’s … nice to be treated like a normal person, for once.”

“So…..” she looked at the floor “you’ll help me?”

“Yes. And then you’ll see that if anything you are rather too smart for this. Someone once told me to think outside the box….”

“Thank you!” she smiled through tears and without thinking hugged surprised boy who held his breath for a second. Just for a second and then relaxed.

“You’re welcome.” he patted her back awkwardly. This was suprisingly comforting. Maybe he could get used to that.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 1 year

Note

Hellooooo, how are you? Your English is good.

I can request one where the reader is Laurel's hyde and maybe his girlfriend or a girl who has a crush on her and maybe Laurel asks her to do something and she somehow doesn't obey her; obviously Laurel is not going to like this and reacts in the way you prefer to write, maybe smut, I don't know.

Thanksssss! rest, drink water, love yourself and live your life in the wonderful world of literature

Yess!!! if you like reader being a Hyde, you should check the "Hyde your feelings" series (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4). I hope you like it!!! Sorry about the language mistakes.

You're my Hyde, you're my soul

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill/Laurel Gates x Fem, Hyde! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Hyde things

Word count: 1,857

Summary: You were her girlfriend and her slave at the same time. You don’t like that, but you love her and you will always do.

N/A: Requests are open to you all :) Sorry about the language mistakes.

“You've been a long time coming,” Laurel scolded you, seeing you appear at the schoolyard.

You were used to being treated that way, especially in recent weeks. You lived quietly in Jericho, oblivious to everything that happened in that strange academy on the outskirts, at least until a year ago. A strange woman, who introduced herself as Marilyn Thornhill, began to frequent the places where you went. So much coincidence aroused your curiosity and after several coffees and several meetings, you started dating her. It didn't take long for you to feel something for her, and she for you, or at least that's what she told you. Your relationship went well, little by little, until one day she confessed a great secret about her, and about you.

You were a Hyde. A creature destined to serve a master, to kill for a master. She discovered it to you, and not just that, but with the help of drugs and chains, she managed to unlock you, irremediably turning you into her slave. At first you didn't understand anything, until she explained to you what her plans were, and what your role in them would be. Marilyn Thornhill was not her real name. She was Laurel Gates, the only survivor of that family of psychopaths. As much as you screamed at that moment and tried to ignore all the love you felt for her, finally you gave up, and accepted whatever she asked of you, no matter how miserable it was.

It's not that you didn't care about your girlfriend's genocidal plan. You had tried to convince her to stop several times. Nothing seemed to make her to reason. You couldn't rat her out, take her to the police, you didn't want to, and you hated yourself for it, you deeply hated yourself.

“Sorry,” you said, handing her a bunch of keys. “They almost caught me, but I managed to escape in time,” you said, putting your hands in your pockets.

Laurel nodded and looked around. It was night and there didn't have to be anyone, but any precaution was a little one.

“Let's talk elsewhere. Follow me,” she ordered you.

Your legs started moving automatically. You loved her. You loved her so much that it hurt, but your body moving only when you heard her commands was something that consumed your insides.

“Here,” she told you, opening the door of an old shed.

When she closed the old wooden door, she flung herself into your arms, kissing you passionately. For her it was as if nothing happened, but for you everything was hell, everything except her.

“You're the best, (Y/N), I don't know what I would do without you…” She whispered to you, smiling widely.

You turned away from her. The situation was too tense for you, and stealing the keys to Jericho's coroner's office was already the last straw.

“What's wrong with you?” She asked, frowning.

“I'm tired of this, Laurel,” you hissed. “I love you, but I no longer want to be your slave.”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head, as if what you had just said was something unheard of or unthinkable.

“What are you saying? You already know that nothing has changed between you and me,” she said, with a slightly darker tone.

“Nothing has changed? You have turned me into your bloody slave,” you said, indignantly. “Sometimes I doubt if you really love me, or if you noticed me for who I am, because I am useful to you.”

Laurel changed her incipient menacing expression to a wistful one, moving closer to you, slowly.

“(Y/N), I'm not in the mood for your nonsense. You can believe me when I tell you that I love you, or you can not, but as long as my plan is not finished, you will be at my command.”

“What if I refuse?” You challenged.

Laurel smirked, and cupped your face in her hands.

“You can't refuse, honey. You are mine, whether you like it or not…” She told you with a childish voice tone. “And I need you to do something for me. Now you're going to take my father's car… the Cadillac that's in the garage, and you're going to remove the license plate and VIN. Call me when it's done, do you understand?”

You were about to nod, but concentrated a great deal of strength to prevent it.

“(Y/N), I've given you an order…” Laurel hissed, keeping her hands on your face.

You struggled, but you managed to shake your head, thus giving a negative answer. The redhead's gaze darkened dangerously and she backed away from you, getting nervous.

“I'm not gonna do it,” you said with difficulty.

“We'll see about that.”

Laurel grabbed a small stool from the shed and set it in front of her. Then she crossed her arms and stared at you.

“Sit down, (Y/N).”

It was a simple, immediate order. Normally you would already be glued to the stool, without thinking about it, letting your body move on its own. This time you were not going to allow it. Your legs began to shake, wanting to move at the voice of your mistress. You closed your eyes and clenched your teeth and fists tightly. Your head started to hurt. You were making an almost superhuman effort to keep your leg from moving. You had never tried to fight against your nature, it was the first time you did it, and you didn't expect it to be so difficult.

Your breathing began to accelerate, and the pain in your head worsened as you managed to keep your leg in place.

“(Y/N), what are you...?” Laurel asked, horrified to see you tremble, sweat, and clench your fists.

You shook your head without difficulty. You noticed something warm coming out of your nose. When you looked at the ground, you saw how some red drops fell on it. It was blood, your blood. Your nose was bleeding and the pain in your head and muscles was already unbearable. Laurel looked at you scared.

“Enough, (Y/N). I said enough!" She yelled at you.

You decided to stop. In doing so your strength diminished so much that you became pale and felt dizzy. Unable to stand, you fell forward. Laurel broke your fall by grabbing your arms and slowly lowering you to the ground.

The redhead sat next to you, making you rest your head on her shoulder.

“My love…” She whispered, while she caressed your hand. “Don't do that again.”

You tried to clear your vision, which had become blurry. Certainly going against your mistress seriously hurt you. This revelation made you feel even worse, but feeling Laurel by your side was comforting, and would continue to be so, even if she wasn't your mistress.

“Honey, you could die if you try to contradict me again. I say it because I care about you, even if you don't believe it. You are the most important thing in my life, I don't want to lose you,” she told you with a soft tone.

You moved a little, having regained consciousness. You put your hand to your nose, which stopped bleeding.

“Laurel…” You said with a small voice. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do, honey. I love you since before I knew you were a Hyde. The only thing I want is for all this to end, and to run away with you. I promise you that everything will get better, (Y/N), I promise you.”

You knew her. You knew her voice tones. Against all odds, that one was sincere. You nodded, accepting your fate and sobbed, wanting to run away with her right then, and not let your girlfriend turn into a monster, a monster like you.

“We can be so happy… Do you remember our excursion to the lake? There we talked about what our future would be. We said that we would get married... That we would start a family...” She whispered to you, looking into space.

You remembered those words. They seemed from other times, better times, happier, less dark times.

“Do you know how many things you and me could do? The Goody Addams’ book has many kinds of magic... We could even have our own children... Isn't that what you want, (Y/N)?”

You made an effort and got up off the ground. Laurel did the same, grabbing you around your waist.

“All I want is you,” you said, captivated by her gaze again.

Laurel smiled and shook her head.

“Well, obey me then, (Y/N). Do it and everything will end soon,” she said, whispering in your ear. She suddenly grabbed your shirt and pulled you up, giving you something like a kiss.

That gesture turned into a messy, hungry kiss soon. Your hands ran over her body in a lustful way, enjoying every inch of her skin.

Laurel pushed you forward, sending you crashing into an old wooden desk.

“You have disobeyed me, (Y/N). Mommy is not happy with you…” She said with a perverse tone.

“I'm sorry,” you said, biting your lip. The redhead grabbed your chin hard and you hissed in pain.

“Prove to me that you are mine, (Y/N),” she told you, between her teeth… “I want you to fuck me, now,” she ordered, lowering her underwear with her free hand.

You nodded, feeling how excitement ran through your body. You turned the redhead around, being her the one against that desk. Obeying immediately, you jumped on her neck, kissing it intensely, while your hand slipped under her skirt.

When you did as she asked, and inserted your fingers into her, a loud moan rang out in that little shed.

“Good girl…” Your lover sighed, while you continued your work, enjoying the pleasure you were giving to your mistress.

Your rhythm was constant. It was just like when you did it without being under her influence. Sex was one of the few things that didn't change after you be unlocked. Your eyes were locked on hers as you manipulated her body to get to the places you knew she wanted.

“Fuck…” She gasped, moving her hips to make the rub intensify.

Her movements became haphazard, and her hand gripped your shoulder, scratching hard enough to leave a mark. With an overly loud moan, she finally arched her back. You withdrew your fingers from her and kissed her with desire, with passion.

She smiled and took her hands to the zipper of your pants, unbuttoning it and putting her hand inside, gently caressing your crotch.

“You're so wet, (Y/N)… And you wanted to disobey me…” She said jokingly, pulling your underwear away.

You gasp, enjoying your mistress's touch on your skin, but before you could get comfortable, Laurel pulled back, bringing her fingers to your mouth.

“I'm sorry, honey. I already told you that you have not behaved well. Go do what I told you and maybe I'll think of returning the favor when you get back.”

You huffed in frustration, but you nodded, buttoning your pants again.

“Oh, and (Y/N). You are the most important thing in my life, never forget it.”

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #laurel gates #ms thornhill #oneshot #smut

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pinkpastels113 · 2 years

Text

you’re not sorry

a/n: angst ahead. sorry

Now.

Beca needs to leave right now.

“Oooh,” Chloe is saying, cooing at another picture on her Tinder page of some random dude showing his abs, “This one’s nice.”

Beca laughs, smiling and nodding along even though her heart is breaking a little bit with every second of pretending. “Yeah! He looks cute! Like… California.”

Chloe’s now giggling even harder, and as she swipes right on California, Stacie is shoving her phone in their faces. It is then that Beca finally realizes just how close they are, how invested and hunched over she and Chloe must seem even though Beca would like nothing more than to cry her lungs out to rid herself of the stifling feeling in her chest.

“God, how are the girls on Tinder so beautiful? The guys here are like- not.” Chloe practically sprawls on the table in her haste to get a closer look. Beca feels herself twisting the ring on her thumb, a habit that she’d picked up since receiving the symbol from Amazon.

She’s already helped Chloe add new (and better) photos to her profile, encouraged her to officially be active (again), poked fun at her for having a creepy little line in her bio; why is she still here? She is not needed anymore, Chloe’s had her push.

Beca opens her mouth. “If you wanted to have girls on her Tinder too, maybe you can… I dunno, change it? Can’t you do that? I’m pretty sure you can.”

Chloe sits back down properly in her chair next to Beca, her beanie coloring the tip of Beca’s vision (she’s glancing at her hands now), “What do you mean?”

“Like, bisexual. You can put that you’re bisexual.” Beca almost snorts then, swallowing against the pounding increasingly in her throat, refraining from gesturing in Stacie’s suspiciously silent direction.

“I don’t know… I’m…not ready to date girls yet.”

And something hitherto fragile snaps in Beca then. What the fuck does Chloe mean she’s not ready? She’s been urging everybody on in the LGBTQ movement, the most vocal in being bisexual, the most “Hey, she’s hot, if you’re not gonna date her, I will” type of person Beca’s been close to recently; heck, Chloe was just talking about how girls were literally beautiful two seconds ago!! Beca gets it- she truly understands- when someone is not ready or to be comfortable with their sexuality with either themselves or to the world, but Chloe has known her identity, shown it, talked about it, joked, basically thrown herself out of the closet in a kaleidoscope of tie dyes and rainbows and everything that is Not Straight. Beca’s been leading herself to believe to that there might be a chance that Chloe might like her (as more than just a stupid close friend that she cares deeply about) back, and there has been more than a few instances where she’s caught those hopes bubbling to the surface when Chloe would do something such as touching Beca’s hair, or adjusting her clothes, or commenting on her pants, but this is the last straw.

Beca stands. The rest of the Bellas pauses in what they are doing (what they were just talking about had faded into the background as Beca’s mental and emotional state imploded) when she announces that she’s leaving to go take a shower.

Chloe’s cheerful obliviousness floats into Beca’s ears. “Come back when you’re done!!”

“No.” She is mostly joking, like forty percent. But the tone is enough for Beca to know that the next couple days will be deja vu tough. Holy shit, Beca is going to drown her sorrows in that shower:

No, she will not be back to deal with Chloe’s bs. Beca has her own shit, damn it, she has reached the limit for Chloe’s. Chloe needs to sort out her own mess, Beca can not keep self-sabotaging her body like this. Her heart can’t take it, her brain can’t handle it, her soul is so tired of it. She needs to go to bed, she needs to stop being so confused, she needs to stop feeling like there is somebody waiting on the other side of the door when there is no threshold.

Beca is done.

#wenz can talk #w writes #bechloe #bechloe drabble #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect

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fiercehildr · 2 years

Note

Hi! I have 3 things if that’s okay!

Firstly, is it bothersome to ask why you stopped any ACOTAR blogging? Was it just to much toxicity? All good either way, still love you <3 I was just wondering. Pls ignore this if you want.

Secondly, what about ghost do you love? I love the art and such you’ve been posting even though I’ve never consumed any of that media lol

Thirdly, not a question but thanks for all the commissions you’ve posted! I love to see them (and I’m trying to read glow! It’s of course quite in demand at the library) k that’s all. Sorry to bother you!

Hi Nonnie! ♥️ Thanks for the ask! Sorry the answer might be long and trigger warnings: Traumatic events (second question)/A quick reference to s**cide (first question)

1- It’s fine, I can answer that no worries 🤗 What happened is that I realized the ACOTAR toxicity made my depression worse and constantly had me in a haze of anger as I could not really ignore everything going in that fandom, not with how deeply I was involved in it.

I was heavily bullied numerous times for liking a different fictional ship and I guess the last straw for me was when I was falsely accused of racism because of a commission of mine- never mind that the one thing they (-the usual suspects and bullies) complained about was the decision of the PoC artist I worked with and who they silenced or that their complaints actually highlighted how they automatically viewed a WoC serving tea as her being a slave.

I think we pretty much all knew that it was never our (the artist and mine) intent or that this drama was started with something else in mind. I even had numerous PoC in my asks and IG inbox telling me it was all good and that they couldn’t understand the issue at all. BUT… I was at a very low moment of my life, my mental health was extremely bad and I did a massive panic attack which was quickly followed by some pretty bad s**cidal thoughts where I almost did something really bad.

That’s when I decided to stop everything and after a 4 months long break from the internet and social medias, I came back but with not much love for ACOTAR anymore. I do not find joy in anything related to this fandom. My maximum is liking pretty arts from artists I like or friends and sometimes making games with the characters in my Insta stories. But I don’t even care about the characters anymore and I even feel a certain dislike for the author, for allowing us all to suffer this shitwar for the sake of her mental health. I know that, PERHAPS, the issue is more complicated than that from her side but I consider that my anger is justified anyway.

Will I come back at some point and rewrite posts and theories about the characters etc? Hopefully, but I’m fine in my little bubble right now. I’ll let the dogs eat their bones.

I hope I answer that first question for you and I’m sorry, I know it’s quite a long answer. 😅 I do love to hear you enjoyed my commissions! Always glad when I know they brought happiness to someone. ♥️

2- As for Ghost, funnily enough, he is not my favorite CoD character. I’d say he’s actually third on that list behind Soap and Price but he’s so aesthetically pleasing and makes for such beautiful art pieces! ♥️ I do appreciate his character though, mostly because I’m appreciative of his inner strenght. Now as you’re not familiar with the lore, to make it short, Ghost had a pretty horrible childhood, tortured by his father who was a notorious trash (like forced to kiss living snakes when he was terrified of them kind of stuff). Sadly, when he was in the army, he was also captured and tortured for month before finding his freedom again. Only to lose his mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew to an atrocious murder. His past is basically the worst thing you could be imagining and if you’re interested in it, there is actually a comic about it you can find online. Do beware though, it’s pretty graphic.

So what I like is that even with that, he still remains level headed, tactical, and, to some extend, even kind. Seeing him develop a relationship with Soap and open up, even making jokes when he’s seen as this gigantic grumpy man, was actually a nice insight in who he really is! 🤗

Also watching plenty of tiktoks of him and Soap, even before I played the game (and I had never touched a CoD before!) helped me so much during my hard post acotar time.

There you go, I hope my answers was good enough and I do hope you get glow! If you do and read it, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me! 🤗

#acotar #gwynriel #ghost #cod #ghoap #ask #tagging gwynriel as I know some might wonder

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tired-biscuit · 2 years

Note

I hope you’re doing okay after all the flagging has been going on 🤍 You deserve better! You mentioned things in your personal life are rough, so I hope you can still use writing as an outlet or as something enjoyable when you’re ready to again.

Sending good vibes to you biccy 🥺🤍

thank you, i appreciate you for reaching out.

mild trauma dump under the cut, feel free to not click cos the last thing i want is to make people sad.

to be completely honest with you, i haven't been doing okay as of late. i found out that my oldest sister has cancer and ngl it's been hard. coping with the knowledge of her having it alone has been hard. finding out just a while ago that it got worse has been ever harder. i'm scared for her, and for my mom, and my entire family. i feel lost and helpless because i can't do anything other than worry and provide a shoulder to cry on.

i'm just confused. tired.

logging on here and writing silly little drabbles and answering asks and playing ask games and reblogging amazing art and fics and whatnot has helped me not think about it as much. idk who understands when i say that i love to write so much; it's insane how much i love to do it. i put so much effort and time into it that i cherish my stories deeply even if i sometimes don't like them all that much. i put my heart into them even if it's smut, ya know??

so idk, i guess that's the reason as to why i've taken this entire thing to heart so much. i'm sensitive atm enough as it is and it was basically the last straw. it feels like someone is actively trying to chase me away from the platform and it hurts. it makes me feel like i should just stick to writing for myself and not share my stories anymore. it makes me even more tired than i already am.

idk i guess i'm just disappointed that my corner of the web has been tarnished. all i wanted to do was to write and obsessively simp over a measly side character from naruto that almost nobody cares about. the fact that someone repeatedly feels the need to basically shadowban my writings (cos let's be honest, a community label literally stops almost all interaction with your post) has just put me at my lowest cos even this place has become ruined for me now as a result.

whatever, ik it's a silly thing to fuss about but i care about it........ anyways, i'm sorry for putting all of this here, i just had to let it out, but you don't even have to respond cos i know it's heavy and depressing.

thank u again <3

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fumekara · 7 months

Text

TUTTE LE COSE CHE HO FATTO (Parte 1)

SatoSugu x Gn reader

Plot: Your relationship with the strongest sorcerers in Japan was falling apart after they yelled at you and broke your heart.

n/a: English is not my first language, there will be a second part of this writing experiment, I am not very satisfied with how it came out.

Tw: A lot of angst, polyamorous relationship, swearing, mention of the death of one's pet, the reader has a cat, in this version Geto is a sorcerer. If you are sensitive to mourning for your pets, do not interact with this fic.

WC: 2,2K

Dopo aver parcheggiato nel vialetto, ti sei sprofondato nel sedile dell'auto, continuando a stringere il volante con entrambe le mani, e ti sei lasciato andare a un pianto convulso e incontrollabile.

For days, you had been stifling the inner turmoil that gripped you, holding back your tears and trying not to think back to Satoru and Suguru's words that had hurt you so deeply, to the fact that your relationship with the two men you loved so much was slowly falling apart…

To the fact that you had just lost your cat.

On the passenger seat lay a cat collar, the same collar that your cat, Nuko, had long held until an hour before and was now without an owner.

You did not know whether your tears were only and solely due to the cat's disappearance or because Nuko's death was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He had kept you company for years, you had adopted him in high school when he was still a kitten, you had cared for him by loving him and giving him everything he needed, and you had taken him with you when you moved in with Satoru and Suguru.

You would never see your little friend again, of course you expected this, he was still an old cat and for a couple of days he had been giving clear signals about his health showing that he was not well at all, so you took him to the vet, even though you knew there was little you could do for him.

The death of your pet is something everyone has to face sooner or later, after all Nuko had lived a long and happy life.

However, you hoped he would stay with you a little longer, because you had long felt that Nuko was the last one in that house who cared for and needed you.

And now he’s gone.

You know you made the right choice, the vet had informed you that his condition was too critical, in a few weeks he would have died anyway, but this would have put him out of his misery straight away. Simple and painless, he would feel nothing, he would go in peace.

And so you did.

You held back tears when you gave the OK for the operation, you held back tears when you removed Nuko's collar from his soft gray fur, you held back tears when you stroked and cuddled him for the last time.

"Thank you for always being there for me, you have been a great friend," you told him hoping he would understand that he would be loved and remembered even when he was gone.

You held back tears when you stayed by his side and when the vet told you the operation was successful.

You held back tears when you filled out the paperwork at the reception desk, you held back tears when you left the veterinary clinic and headed for the car park, and you held back tears as you drove home.

But now the emotions you had repressed were pouring out of you and you couldn't control them, all you could do was cry and think about what would happen when you got out of the car and crossed the threshold of your home.

You hadn't said anything to Satoru and Suguru, they didn't know anything about what had just happened and you were pretty sure they wouldn't care and wouldn't give you any consolation anyway, you weren't even sure they loved you any more since you'd had that fight.

——————

That day was hard for them. You first noticed that both of them must have had a bad day at work, the small scratches on their faces was evidence and they were also more nervous than usual, Suguru also must have injured himself during the last mission as he was holding his side and struggling to keep his back straight.

You knew that their work as teachers and wizards exhausted them and often made them return home with a few extra bruises. You always took care of them when they needed it, several times you treated their bruises and cuts when they returned from a particularly demanding mission, often relying on Shoko's advice on how to treat them.

You received a kiss on the forehead or lips from them as a thank you.

You always offered your boys a shoulder to cry on and all the love you could give them, and they did the same to you. And you wore their love like armor to face the storms of life and work.

They were at the front door, Satoru had just taken off his shoes, while Suguru had taken off his coat with difficulty and extreme caution, confirming your hypothesis that he had been injured on the mission.

You greeted them with a smile and walked over to hug them as you always did.

"Not now Y/N," Satoru told you firmly in a colder tone than usual. You turned away from them as you saw them heading towards the kitchen, hearing the white-haired male cursing in a low voice. Suguru made his way behind him as if he had not noticed your presence as he grunted from the pain in his right side.

You were amazed at their behavior. Normally they would have welcomed you into their arms and told each other how your days went. 'Did something bad happen?' you thought as you joined them in the kitchen.

Satoru had his back to you with his hands resting on the sink jamb while Suguru sat at the table, both of them seemed to be rather restless.

"Is everything alright guys?" you asked hoping you could figure out what had made them so nervous.

You heard Satoru sigh heavily "Yes, everything is fine" he said coldly still holding your shoulders.

You looked at Suguru hoping that at least he could give an answer to your question, but the black-haired man seemed not to be interested in doing so.

You approached your boyfriend's side to see how serious his wound was, you hadn't seen any blood or anything, but you wanted to be sure there was nothing too serious. Between him and Satoru, Suguru was the more patient and calm of the two. You gently brushed one of the long black locks from his face and gave him a small smile. He must not have liked the gesture, however, because he turned away as if you had given him an electric shock.

You tried to maintain a caring attitude, not wanting to make the situation worse.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt, dear?"

"Y/N, please let it go. It's fine," he said, not using his usual sweet and calm tone.

You didn't like this attitude they were both using with you at all. But you were really worried and did your best to try to be helpful.

"Let me help you, Sugu', if it's serious I can...".

"Y/N stop, I told you that you don't have to worry about it!" he interrupted you acidly as he gave you an icy stare, making it clear that he had no interest in talking to you, much less getting treatment from you.

You looked down at the floor and got up from your chair, leaving Suguru alone, but this made your worries increase.

You approached Satoru who had removed the blindfold from his eyes, but still had his back to you. "Toru... What's going on?" you gently touched his hand, hoping that a small trace of your warmth might give him some comfort, but your gesture was bitterly rejected as he removed his hand from yours.

"Y/N stop it, I already told you it's OK!" he said, raising the volume of his voice a little too high "For God's sake, stop being so fucking clingy!"

"I just want to know what's going on" you said, turning to both of them "you know you can tell me about everything".

"Y/N enough!" you heard Suguru as he turned in his chair towards you "we have other things to think about and we don't have time for your bullshit".

Now you felt offended, you knew they weren't really mad at you. They were using you as an excuse to vent their frustrations. But you didn't like being scolded when you just wanted to help. It wasn't the first time this had happened, lately it seemed like they were getting ruder and ruder with you every time something went wrong. You were starting to get sick of it.

"Wanna know how it went at work, Y/N?" asked Satoru sarcastically " SHITTY, that's how it went. The meeting with that bunch of assholes from our superiors went horribly and on top of that we got our asses kicked by a special level curse." he paused "And the last thing we need is you asking us to hug you and give you attention. Are you satisfied now?"

"I wasn't looking for attention, I just wanted to he-"

"Y/N for the last time, piss off!" shouted Suguru at you making you realize it was time to stop. You looked at them both in astonishment, you were sure that the last people who would say such a thing to you were them, your boyfriends.

Geto noticed your expression and that was enough to soften him "Just...leave us alone now, please." he said in a calmer tone.

They both looked away from you.

You put your hands on your hips and looked at the floor with a sad expression " I'm sorry" you said and left the kitchen.

______________

That evening you did not speak to each other, you dined in silence and kept your gaze fixed on your plate so as not to meet their eyes. You didn't know if they were still bothered by you, but the words they had said to you kept coming back to you. About how they thought you were clingy and that your mere presence was enough to make them lose their temper.

When you finished eating, you decided to wash the dishes in the sink, as Satoru had set the table and Suguru had prepared dinner that night.

As you were drying the last dish, you realized that your cat's bowl, which was lying on the kitchen floor, was still full from this morning, also the water bowl. You hadn't actually seen Nuko all day.

You put the dry dish back in the cupboard and went to the living room to see if your cat was there, perhaps lying on the sofa or armchair.

"Nuko?, where are you buddy?" you called him as you walked around the rooms of the house looking behind the curtains, the sofa, the television, but nothing.

It had happened before that Nuko left the house and returned after a couple of days, but that was when he was still a young and energetic cat, now he was old and spent his days in the house or in the garden.

you looked in the bedroom you shared with the boys and looked under the bed to see if he was hiding there.

"What are you doing Y/N?"

You looked up even though you knew it was Suguru's voice.

"I can't find Nuko, he hasn't touched food today," you stood up avoiding eye contact with the man in front of you.

"Have you tried the guest room? He really likes it," he told you, scratching the back of his head and staring at the wall as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

The guest room was your bedroom before you moved into Satoru and Suguru's when you made your relationship official. However, Nuko had a habit of taking naps there, as if habits die hard for him.

You headed toward the room and, not seeing the cat above the sheets, peeked under the bed. Nuko was lying in the shadows and raised his little head after noticing your presence.

"What's wrong buddy?"

________

Satoru and Suguru knew they had to apologize to you, but they had decided to give you some space after what happened. They did not ask you why you had decided to sleep in the guest room so that you could come and sleep with them, even though they would have liked to do so.

"We really messed up, Sugu," Gojo murmured, "I feel bad about what happened, we went too far with them, they didn't deserve it."

Suguru also felt guilty about the way things had gone with you, but at the time he had yelled at you he was convinced he had a broken rib and was furious about being reprimanded by his superiors at the meeting. When he had seen you looking for Nuko he had tried to apologize, but could not find the words.

"Yes me too, tomorrow we will apologize to them properly," he said, turning off the light.

"No shit."

Speravano che la mattina dopo le cose si sarebbero sistemate. Non era la prima volta che litigavate, ma non avevano mai usato quelle parole con lei in quel modo. Entrambi gli uomini erano felici e fortunati di averti nelle loro vite ed erano così grati per l'amore che voi tre avevate costruito insieme, ma temevano di aver oltrepassato una zona da cui non si poteva più tornare indietro.

Click here for part 2

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willowser · 2 years

Text

[ nsfw ] — edit to say: there is now a prequel piece to this 🤗

"yer a married woman."

kirishima murmurs it to your mare quietly, scrubbing a rough hand down the front of her muzzle as he frowns, as the words sit between you both like a life sentence. a royal order not even you can overturn.

"i am," you agree, and his eyes flick to yours over the saddle for just a moment before falling away, ashamed. for all that he lacks in wealth and class, he's more honorable than any knight you've ever known, more respect in his pouty lips than in all the kings of the north. if only you could be the same, then perhaps this hurt wouldn't wound you both so deeply. "are you married, ser eijirou?"

"no, 'm not," his frown deepens, even pulling a crease between his eyebrows as he stares at the ground, hard as iron. "'n i beg yer pardon, m'lady, but i'm no ser."

his tone doesn't lighten, not even when he peeks again to find you smiling coyly; instead he turns his back to fiddle with a rake, kicking straw into the corner of the stable to busy himself—from you. he's only trying to protect you both, but you expected more from him, after what's happened. you can't help but want for more.

worry twists in your stomach. "...do you think ill of me?"

"no, i—not at all, no. no." kirishima sighs and straightens his back, turning his eyes to the wood ceiling as he thinks. a small huff of laughter leaves him and, even if you cannot see his face, the knowledge of his smile puts butterflies in your belly. hope. "if i—i would have to speak ill of myself, if i did."

"and why's that?"

you want him to turn and look at you the way he always has: a step too far out of reach, eyes burning as warm as the blush on his neck, offering a crooked grin before nodding his respects. kirishima's always been so kind, gifting sunshine in return for only a small smile—which has never been an issue to relinquish. not to him.

in the amber light of candles, you think he glows, a gem still to be unearthed. if only you were selfless enough to do so; this is one jewel you'll not give so easily.

kirishima says, "'cause you bein' wed didn't stop me when it should've," and everything ceases. to beat, to pump, to expand in your chest, aching in stillness when he continues. "i should've never touched you."

you gasp. lightly, but with enough intake that he finally faces you, expression twisted with a regret you've never known on him. in all the nights you've shared, hidden away, your conversations have always been cheery and teasing, laced with something neither of you could speak to. you've never seen him so—guilty, almost embarrassed at the way he held you when you met last, when he touched you for the first time. humiliated, perhaps—

your stomach sinks, sours under the acidity of heartbreak, and you give him one, final nod before turning to leave.

"fuckin' hell, i—not that i didn't want to," kirishima rushes, both in word and movement as he stumbles around the mare to close in on you. his hands come up to hold your face gently, thumbs rubbing against your cheekbones until you look into his eyes and—there he is. soft and wanting, just as you. "i still do, but i've made things worse for m'self. because i—" you watch his throat as it works, the edge of his tongue as it dampens his lips. his pupils as they bloom, as he looses his breath. "now i know what you taste of, and 'm only goin' hungry."

you gasp again and all your nerves sing. what ache still resides spreads to the most dangerous parts of your body, throbbing, to where only eijirou can soothe. with him so close, you feel alight, and he doesn't fight when you lean up to press your mouth lovingly against his.

he doesn't carry your same passion, however. even still. he kisses you once, twice, deep and heavy before pulling away with that weight still between his brows.

you don't care, can't care, about what's right or honorable or fated; despite him, you press up again, curling your fingers into the hair that sits free from the low pony-tail at the base of his neck, tugging until he groans. "have me, then. please."

eijirou gasps and, though he tries to shake his head, his hands slip to fist into your skirts. "but yer my queen—"

"then do as i say."

finally, he smiles, all glow and gleam and shine, and he kisses his laugh into you, like he could pass it to you as his tongue brushes your lower lip. what hunger he speaks of—you can feel it too, growing ravenous underneath your skin as you move one of his hands from your hips to grope at your breasts. your boldness makes him shudder, but he kneads at you all the same, running a thumb over your nipple when it pebbles beneath the fabric.

eijirou groans again, playfulness leaving him as he takes a large step, guiding you backwards and into the bales of hay stacked along the wall. it's the move you've been waiting for, one you've been dreaming of since he did it the first time, and you hastily tug at the ties on the front of your dress when he kisses you so hard that you dip backwards.

the noisy rustle of straw has him stilling, trying to stop your hand as he says, "'m—i won't take you in a barn."

you frown up at him, like a child that's been denied, and make a fist against his hand when he doesn't let you go. "it didn't stop you before."

"and it should've." his lips begin to twist again, reminiscent of his doubt from before. when you lean back into the hay and tug him with you, he follows, but his grip on your wrist doesn't lessen. eijirou sighs and your gut lurches, as if he's going to reject you again. "'m ruinin' yer honor—"

"ruin it, i want you to." you breathe it and his eyes snap to yours, hold loosening enough that you can slip your hand between you to the ties on his trousers. "i want to be yours to ruin."

he doesn't fight it again.

kissing him is wet, heated like the skin over the hard plane of his stomach. it flexes when you run a hand over the thick trail of hair at the base of him and, with a low sound from his chest, he pulls back enough to yank your hand away so that he can untie himself. in his shorts, he's already thickening, and he hardly gives you time to touch him again before he's leaning further into you and hiking your skirts up to your waist.

you do your best to shimmy out of your own underclothes, but eijirou buries his face into what he can of your chest, biting softly, sweetly enough to leave no trace. you wish you could give him all of you, in a bed, in the candlelight as he grunts and groans into your skin, as he moans his love and spills inside of you.

when he licks a slow line up your throat, kissing your neck and jaw and cheeks and lips, you know he wishes for the same.

as soon as you get one leg free, he spreads you open, driving himself closer until you can feel the hard weight of him where you're most sensitive. it makes him curse, harsh and low as you whine his name quietly, and just when you think you can't take the wait any longer, he pulls his shorts down enough to slide his tip through your wetness before pushing himself inside you.

"fuckin'—hell—"

the stretch is bliss, just as it was days ago, when the tension between you snapped like thin ribbons of your dress. all that had been leading up to that moment—this one, too—all the careful, fleeting looks and secret smiles; the steady hand in your own as he helped you to mount your mare; the gentle laugh he shared with you, the funny stories he told to hear your own.

you want him, as badly as you've ever wanted anything, and that should stand for something with fate, shouldn't it?

you dig a hand back into his hair, pulling him closer so that you can return the same affections to the skin below his ear, allowing him and only him to hear the sounds he pulls from you with each slow thrust of his hips.

"sweet, you feel so—"

"eiji—"

and then there's a low thud outside, followed by a distant string of curse words, and you both freeze. hearts in your chest, breath in your lungs. it only takes another boot-step before you're scrambling away from each other.

eijirou tucks himself back into his trousers, lacing them up clumsily before helping you back into your underclothes. you busy yourself with your hair, trying to smooth it down, tucking it behind your ears and back into your ribbons as he adjusts your sleeves, hands shaking just as hard as the fright in your lungs.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"oi, shitty—"

just as the barn door flings open, he jumps from you, turning to face a horse stall with the rake in his hands. his shoulders are shaking with every harsh pant of his breath and you have to tear your eyes from the muscles that tense underneath his linen shirt.

another man stands in the doorway, eyes cutting back and forth from you to eijirou before he bows his head slightly.

"your grace," he murmurs—bakugou, if you remember correctly. when you return his nod, he glares hard at kirishima, who finally turns, all curious with raised eyebrows. "y'got five more stables to do before y'can eat, so hurry up."

kirishima nods, eyes on the floor. "i'll be finished in a moment—"

"you'll be finished now."

he nods once more, fumbling with his tools before leaning them gently against the wall. from even across the stall, you can tell his hands are trembling, watching on as he makes them into tight fists before wiping them against his pants.

and then he passes you, eyes turned down as he whispers a quiet farewell. "m'lady."

when he's gone, bakugou says nothing, only looking at you for a silent, all-too-knowing moment before excusing himself to follow after.

you, yourself, wait, giving them the head-start they need as you will your heart back into its regular rhythm. in your slippers, your toes are still curled, every throb of your nerves still pulsing with remnants of pleasure that you should ignore.

but you won't, you can't, despite what's right or honorable or fated.

you pull the straw from your hair and you straighten your skirts and then you make your way out, up the cobblestone path to your castle tower.

#bark bARK BARK BARK #commoner kirishima PLEASE #he's so STRONG and HANDSOME and RELIABLE and RESPECTFUL #knows he shouldnt be looking at you like that but !!! he is !!!!#been thinkin about it too much !!!!#idk what happened here #i was possessed and had to write this idk idk #i had kirishima brain rot all day 🥺🍓#kirishima x reader #kirishima drabble #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: kirishima

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