#the more I watch s4 the more I like it and the more impressed I am with the writing

[bethanyactually]

an incomplete list of clues in the Black Door episodes pointing to the fact that something was wrong 🚩🔎🚨

Ace flatly refusing to look at or engage with Nancy

Ace not wanting to help Nancy

Ace not caring if a mystery got solved

after an argument, Nancy being the one who walks away first

[storm-driver]

so i've been watching symphogear passively with a friend for the past year or so now, and we just broke into s4

and like... i don't wanna sound like a bitch, but did all narrative for the story just fall off after s2

[angelltheninth]

Humbly requesting HSR men sending love letters to their girlfriend/wife while on a mission? Do they make them detailed or short? Also do they include and pictures or drawings? I'm sorry if this is weird, I was watching the Legend of Korra and I'm at the part where she's getting letters from everyone and it got me thinking about this.

I love TLOK! That part hits hard, so fucking hard. Good luck with the rest of s4!

Pairing: Blade, Caelus, Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luka, Welt x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, love letters, married, long distance relationship

A/N: I remember when I was in middle school and we had to send a letter to someone for an assignment. I sent it to my bestie!

Blade writes you letters only because he promised you he would. There aren't many, you get a new letter maybe once a month but they are always quite detailed, telling you where he's been, where he's going and that you don't need to worry about him. There can be a lot of pages for you to read but that's to make up for the fact that he doesn't write to you that often, he prefers to say things in person.

Caelus never thought about writing you letters until you expressed how romantic it would be to get one. Then one day while on alone you got one, from him, who was on a mission at the time. The letter spoke of the things he saw, what he ate, what the weather was like, wishing you a good night and sweet dreams. A crudely drawn picture of his was the signature. You've been getting letters ever since.

Dan Heng writes letters that are straight to the point and a bit on the shorter side. Usually one or two pages is enough for him to summarize what happened, but his letters arrive a few times a week, constantly keeping you updated on his whereabouts and health. Now when you feel his rough fingers you wonder how much is from his weapon and how much is from his writing to you.

Gepard not only sends you letters but also full on poems and love songs. He is that much of a romantic. Don't tell anyone though, everyone is under the impression that he's only informing his wife of when he'll be getting home. You keep his letters right beside your bed, sometime reading them to him and watching his face get redder and redder with every sentence.

Jing Yuan tells you the details of his day pretty thoroughly but not so much about the mission. He makes a sort of cliff note version of that part. This is because he would rather tell you those parts in person, they'll be much more interesting and dramatic that way. But as for what he does daily, the people he meets, the animals he sees, the food he eats, he writes about all of that for you.

Luka doesn't write that much in his letters. He's simply not sure what he could write that would be interesting other then who he beat up and how he got a thank you for it. He does include a few drawings of him fighting against his opponent though, it's the only good way he can think of to let you know how awesome of a fight it was without taking a whole books worth of pages to do so.

Welt is all to happy to write home to you while he's on a mission. Of course you get just as many drawings of the places he's been too. There's so many drawings that you can make a scrapbook with them, or decorate your entire wall with them. He puts as much detail into his letters as he does in the drawings he makes so you can be sure you won't miss out on a single thing, it's like you're there with him.

[thestobingirlie]

conformity in stranger things

(as we see it through the characters of steve, dustin and eddie)

dustin meets steve while steve is already heading down his own path — he’s leaving behind ideas about high school and relationships, and figuring out who he is without them.

steve, by season two, had already become disillusioned with the idea of high school, and power struggles, and being the most popular guy in school. which is why he doesn’t react to billy’s taunts.

despite what the fandom may have you believe, steve’s seasons long arc about his struggle with conforming to the person people expect him to be is done.

don’t get me wrong, steve is still hanging onto some ideas in s2, like pretending you don’t care to get girls, and seeing nancy as different to all his other girlfriends (though i personally think that speaks more to steve’s prior relationships than the way he views woman).

and so, dustin and their friendship play a major role in steve fully moving on from the concept of ‘conforming’. steve doesn’t want to change who he is to get people to like him, or love him!

and with dustin, he doesn’t!!!

they make up dorky handshakes, and give each other advice. they talk about girls and steve teaches him how to achieve his signature hairstyle.

their relationship impacts both boys, but neither of them are conforming. it’s pretty much the exact opposite!!! despite what some fans would have you believe steve and dustin have a positive impact on each other!!!

dustin doesn’t change who he is to impress steve! he’s just as dorky as before, and in fact imparts some of that dorkiness onto steve!! steve and dustin help each other to find who they are, and figure themselves out.

on the other hand.

eddie had a negative impact on dustin.

dustin in s3 is dorky. he likes science, and school, and building great big radio towers up hills.

dustin in s4 is failing classes, treating friends like shit, his hubris is at an all time high; all aided by eddie’s high opinion of himself and ideas about conforming.

see. when eddie talks about conforming, he doesn’t really understand what he’s talking about (which is why his fans don’t either).

when he criticised people for ‘conforming’, all he’s really talking about is people being interested in things he doesn’t like. parties. band. science. basketball. he looks down on them all.

he makes snap judgments, and reduces them down to stereotypes. we literally watch him learn this on screen!!!

we literally watch as he verbally recognises that he knew nothing about steve, and yet reduced him down to his interest in basketball.

and here’s where the irony comes in. eddie is literally leading the club on conformity.

everyone in hellfire wears the exact same thing, and he makes fun of the clothes they used to wear. he seats himself on a thrown, and judges anyone that wishes to come before him before he deems them worthy to play a game. he’s not accepting all losers. he’s literally telling them they’re lesser than as he stands on tables in the cafeteria, and then fights against erica playing with them… just because he thinks she has to prove herself to him first.

that’s the point of eddie’s character!! that his whole big speech at the beginning of the season is wrong. and we literally see how he’s wrong scenes later when eddie interacts with chrissy.

people watch eddie learn and grow as a person, and then reduce his character right back down to who he was when he was first introduced.

tl;dr — if one of dustin’s relationships is about conformity, it’s his friendship with eddie, not steve. his brother dynamic with steve is about the complete opposite. about reaching across dumb nerd v jock social divides and finding a family.

in looking up to eddie, dustin has let his other interests fall to the wayside. he’s snarkier, makes fun of steve more (just like he’s been watching eddie mock jocks for months), his friendships with the rest of the party are at an all time low.

and yet. some people would have me believe this is dustin’s truest self? who gets his mormon girlfriend to hack into his school because he’s failing latin. who mocks steve for ‘wanting to be a hero’ when just the season before he was prepared to die by steve’s side.

[bigdumbbambieyes]

okay, hear me out. S3 rewrite with Billy in Robin’s role while the Mindflayer makes Neil it’s host.

like, picture it for a sec: we’d get the Billy-Steve friendship we deserved, we’d have an actual human antagonist who was shown to be canonically abusive and controlling in S2, and Billy could be a reluctant (but important) addition to The Party for S4. he’s the brawn and brains that they need.

things to consider:

we’d get Steve and Billy in matching Scoops Ahoy uniforms. maybe they both applied as lifeguards but had a fight in front of the manager so they both didn’t get the position, and they applied everywhere in Starcourt once it opened and surprise!! they were both hired at Scoops and now they have to get along or else they’ll be broke the whole summer!

Billy watching in amusement as Steve fails to hook up with girls, maybe he even makes the same scoreboard. there also wouldn’t be a need to have the moms lusting over Billy bc he has no reason to meet Karen at the motel - no predatory behaviour from her in this timeline!!

imagine the banter. billy would have something to say to everyone and it would be so funny, especially between he and Max. give me one proper sibling fight please!

while a coming out scene would be great for Billy, and i would love to see Steve react to that (like, his reaction to a gay woman he had a crush on would be sooo different from a gay man he used to beef with, let’s be real), i also want more depth from Billy since he’s not flayed and El wouldn’t be looking into his past for us. so maybe instead of a coming out scene, they talk about the fight at the Byers’ during the bathroom scene. we get a glimpse into Billy’s carefully guarded emotions (maybe even his relationship w his dad) and both Steve and Billy get to move on from that night. closure and moving on from it together as newfound friends!

Billy could be shown that he is actually a smart cookie and cracks the Russian’s code (with Steve’s help). Dustin and Steve are impressed and Dustin begins to warm up to Billy a little.

new Scoops Troop!! Billy and Steve and Dustin dynamic omg. and Erica and Billy?? imagine she kinda confronts him about what happened with him and Lucas in S2, so she’s uncertain of him bc of that, but now Billy has the chance to make things right and clear up misunderstandings. and in this timeline, he apologizes to Lucas. because Lucas deserves that so. much. and Billy should have the chance to become a better person like Steve did. and maybe Lucas doesn’t forgive him, which is justified bc he doesn’t have to forgive him at all, but he gets the apology he deserves at the very least.

Steve and Billy getting tortured together oof. that would hit hard bc imagine Billy is being punched and slapped and he’s just laughing and taunting and Steve’s like wtf. it would be a great set up for the bathroom scene - like ‘why were you laughing while we were being literally tortured??’

Billy getting to see Steve draw a charge during his ‘fight’ with the Russian soldier and being proud of him, clapping him on the back with a grin while Steve gives him a shy smile. perhaps even…a meaningful, lingering look?? a spark between them??

also Steve and Billy high as fuck together lol i just want that so bad, please!!

and while Billy is with the Scoops Troop, The Party is focused on Neil. it would be a great chance to see Max’s relationship with her step father and she notices how weird he’s being. he’s nicer to Susan, even nicer to her, but then her mom starts acting weird, too. and when she finally meets up with Billy at Starcourt when the Mindflayer manifests, they discuss everything and Billy is conflicted. he’s happy that his old man is finally getting what’s been coming to him all these years, but that’s still his dad. it’s complicated but not really touched upon but implied. (and i think that would also be a great set up for S4. he gets those weird feelings in S4, thinking ‘i wanted him to die’ but also feeling guilt because his relationship with his father is so twisted from years of abuse).

we could explore Neil’s past a bit with this timeline, too. we could get a glimpse of why he is the way he is, like we did with Billy. El could see the abuse he put Billy and his mom through. she sympathizes with Billy, but she also sees how Neil was abused, too, and feels this empathy for him. which is how she brings him out of the possession, because El is empathetic by nature, under all that anger and naivety. she knows what it’s like to abuse and be abused and want to be better than those who hurt her. and when Neil does break through, he is killed just like Billy was in S3, and Billy runs over once his dad flops to the ground. Neil grits out ‘i’m sorry’ but Billy doesn’t say anything, doesn’t forgive him. he doesn’t even cry. he just…stares, looking like the lost little boy he’s always been. and Max finally runs over to pull her brother up, to drag them both away from Neil, and Billy can’t look away from his dad’s body until it’s finally out of sight.

and ofc the season ends with Steve and Billy both working at Family Video!! with Neil and Susan gone (she would’ve been part of the MF’s army), it’s just Billy and Max now, living in that trailer. that would be such an interesting dynamic to write for S4.

anyways that’s all!! that’s my silly rewrite. Billy deserved to have a support system and a real relationship with his sister and a boy his age and it could’ve been done in S3. 🤍

[dearshelby]

How do you think the each Shelby would react with having a very tall, commanding female s/o who could probably give them a run for their money in a fight? Maybe she went to war disguised as a man too..

All the Shelby content I've read is with petite, delicate readers and as someone who is AFAB, 6'4", and works out; I'm kind of curious as to what they would be like around someone like me 😭

Alright, I'm sorry it took soooo long for me to answer your request 😅 I hope my headcanons make some justice bc the standardization in reader inserts is real

Arthur 

• I'm not gonna lie, he'd be impressed by a woman taller than him, especially by the 1920s standards he's very tall himself, so it's needless to say he's surprised. However, Arthur works like a curious cat, at first he watches from far then slowly gets close.

• Consciously or not, I think Arthur is drawn to commanding people, he didn't put up a fight for the lead with Tommy and he married Linda, so as long as he doesn't feel his "masculinity" is being "disrespected" he's 100% up for the ride.

• Arthur's conservatisme is a complicated subject, he is still attached to gender roles but not too much, only reaching for them when he feels disrespected (like when Polly and Linda fooled him in s4). Therefore, he'll be surprised his girl can fight, he spent a long time in box rings and rarely saw women, so he's proud she can defend herself but also hesitant in being playful about it, he doesn't trust himself.

• However, after some time and reassurance, he'll absolutely want her to show her abilities. Obviously, not in a real fight, more in a coach/pupil way. He'll be glad in teaching her hits she doesn't know and learning ones he doesn't.

• If he found out she went to war, he'd be so utterly confused, what possibly made her go through all the risk of getting caught? Or worse, dying on the battlefield? He can't find a logical reasoning behind it even if she gives him one.

• Then things will be a bit awkward, they went through the same experience, maybe hers were a bit harder because she had to keep a disguise and yet, she doesn't seem fucked up in the head like him, of course she has her own traumas do deal with, but she doesn't seem bad as him. 

• It might take a while for him to assimilate the news, but once he does, depending on her reactions, he might lean to her when the PTSD is hitting too hard.

• At last, Arthur is still a very protective partner, it doesn't matter if she can defend herself or not or if he has to stretch himself, he'll rest his arm around her shoulders.

Tommy

• This boy absolutely REFUSES to get on his tiptoes for a kiss, he'll grab her face and pull her to his height. He's tiny, bossy and very proud, at least when in public. 

• Being also very commanding, their personalities might conflict or not, it depends if she sides up with him or not, if she does it's likely he'll have her sort like Billy Kimber had Roberts. However, he's still protective, so that's only with legal business.

• Out of the three brothers, Tommy is the one who least seemed to enjoy fistfights and he's way too serious to be playful about it, he'd hate the idea of his S/O having to defend herself alone and will be curious about why would a woman learn to fight like that. 

• Now, finding out she was in France will be a shock to him, his reaction won't be big, he'll want to know why she did it then probably won't mention it again, assuming that like himself, she doesn't want to talk about it. 

• At some point of the relationship, someday the family will be drinking together at the Garrison, for once everything is fine, they're all laughing and a bit drunk - and it takes a while for Tommy to get drunk - he'll take advantage of the fact her shoulder is near his cheeks to rest his head on it.

John

• He's a menace (affectionately) and in his eyes, he just found the perfect partner for his mischief. He'll insist she shows him her best hits and will have much fun playing fight or wrestling.

• John is very proud so even if she's making him struggle, he won't stop until he wins. It's a bit harder because he's also making sure of not accidentally hurting her, so his hits are actually fairly weak.

• He might be annoyed by her commanding personality sometimes, he's the head of his own family so he should be the one setting the rules, he knows she means no harm though, much like Arthur, if he doesn't feel like his "masculinity" is being threatened, he's all good, he might even answer her with "yes, ma'am" when he's in a good mood.

• Someday she'll get home and John will have sewn a blade in one of her hats. It's just a joke though, he's not fond of his S/O being part of the dangerous side of business, at most he's fine with her working at the betting shop.

• At last, he was quite young when he went to war, only 17 according to his own words, he rarely - if ever - talks about it, but I have the theory his reckless behavior is result of trauma, being so young in that ambient desensitized him to violence and he seems very proud of have fought, if she struggles with trauma he's not the best person to go to since he doesn't know how to deal with his own. 

• John will comfort her with warm hugs and a glass of whiskey, but he doesn't have the most comforting words to offer, like his brothers, he's very much confused about why would she put herself through that.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hi! just want to say really love The Rookie episode breakdown that you do.

So assuming you have watch all of them, do you have any list / ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Or can you give us your ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Really want to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!

Hi @xiaozhen16! First off thank you for your lovely comment on my reviews. Means a lot I'm so glad you enjoy them. :) Also appreciate you wanting my thoughts on this. Let's see I have been with The Rookie since day one, actually pre-green light. I followed Nathan after Castle and his next project and saw The Rookie get its green light. So i've been with since the literal jump. Seen all eps for sure more than once haha Think I've rewatched it least 5 times since it started. Thank you for being patient while I took the time to answer this. Life is hard to fit stuff in so thank you. It'll be a long reply lol In order to answer this properly I'm going to do top 5 with an honorable mentions that could span up to 5 cause this is hard LOL Those will be in no particular order. I'll do it for each season. Except S5. I just can't choose S5 down to a top ten.

I love that entire season. But I can do 1-4. Someday I can rank S5 on its own ranking the entire season if you like but for now it'll be this. Let me know if you'd like me to do that in the comments. But for this one Each season has something different to offer for them. So it'll be easier to break it down by season but only going up to S4. Hopefully you enjoy this detailed reply. Anyone is welcome to comment and such too.

Season 1.

1x14 Plain Clothes Day

Hands down this is my favorite episode of S1 for them. It's a very telling episode for them both. Lots of growth as well. Lucy is hell bent to prove herself to Tim. She is nervous but driven to prove to Tim she is worth investing his time in. Her day is a plethora of jitters and mistakes. Tim consistently getting under her skin and rattling her cage. Then at the last minute like a phoenix rising from the ashes Lucy makes the right call. Such a clutch moment that impresses Tim more than he'll ever let on. Doesn't hesitate for one moment checking that man's garage out.

This is a huge step towards her growth as a cop and a person really. Its seminal episode for Lucy. A stepping stone to her confidence and learning to trust her instincts and not second guess herself. For Tim it's realizing as much as he loves to mess with Lucy he wants her to succeed more. He states in the very beginning of the episode how he's had 11 rookies wash out on this day. ELEVEN. He hasn't cared if his rookies have washed out 11 times. Then Lucy Chen walked into his life. Disrupted his life in the best way.

With her incredibly driven sunshine ways he REFUSES to let her be his 12th. Does everything in his ability to keep her from being fired. They have a lot of lovely moments in this episode ranging from messing with her to fiercely protecting her from that tool-bag trying to take her job. The scene outside the captain's office where he has to re-write her eval gah so very good. Overall just an amazing episode of moments and growth for them as characters and as a ship. Another step towards their rock-solid bond.

2. 1x20 Free Fall

What's not to love about this finale? It's the culmination of everything they've been through to this point in the season. We watch how Tim instantly protects Lucy from being infected. At first he's in control of the situation (or so he thinks..) Trying to keep Lucy calm while on the inside he is panicking. Attempting to keep up his tough T.O. act with her. Determined to show Lucy he's bulletproof no matter the situation. That quickly begins the devolve the longer he is in that room.

The more he has to deal with this disease alone the worse it gets. We get a front row seat into protective Lucy. The way she is losing it for Tim on the outside. Doing anything and everything to get him out of there. This is the first time we get to see Tim trust Lucy emotionally and not hesitate. Not only that but so openly. She has been knocking on the door of this all season.

The scene above is her reward for all that work. The role reversal that happens here is wonderful. Where Lucy becomes the rock. The one to comfort him while Tim is battling with his dark thoughts of suicide if this goes sideways. Trusting her enough to tell her such deep thoughts. Lucy guiding him through those emotions best she can. It's a fantastic way to end the season for them. Lots of earned moments in this one.

3. 1x11 Redwood

Our first Iconic OTP Line Episode. This is where we start to see Tim soften for Lucy. Those sharp edges dulling a bit. We get to watch how he knows exactly how to calm her when she is in a panic. Tim commands this entire episode for her. Distracting her from the moment that needle goes in to chewing out the nurse for not prioritizing her. It was our first glimpse into protective Tim and I was here for it. Excellent introduction to this side of him regarding Lucy. Does the Tim Bradford special where he tells her like it is while showing empathy.

The first time we get to see him care truly care and let her know that he's there. Has her back in a way no one really has before. Lucy is watching her career go down the drain in her eyes. Changing her life forever and is in panic city. Tim doesn't let her be a resident there for very long. This ep showcases how amazing he is at his job and how good Tim is with Lucy. Knows exactly what to do in order to keep her sane.

He spends his entire day distracting her and showing empathy in the process. Ultimately stopping her from going off the razor's edge. It's these moments she has with Tim that shift her POV of him. Why she fights for him like she does. Lucy knows the good heart this man has. That he cares about her as person. That she is more than just his rookie. It's so very good. Producing the line above. *sigh*

4. 1x07 The Ride Along

These early episode are what I like to call building block eps. The foundation that is laid in these are so important. It's Lucy showing up for Tim when he needs it most. Their relationship is in its infancy in these episodes. Being molded into what we see in the finale and honestly the future. Lucy noticing a serious wrong (Isabel taking advantage of Tim's deep loyalty) Not only noticing but not letting him throw his life/career away for it. The line above is EVERYTHING. She refuses to let Tim cross an ocean and compromise his soul for someone who wouldn't cross a puddle for him. The bravery it took for her take a stand I'll always commend her for. How scary it must've been for her to confront him like this. When he was still in his radioactive insanely damaged phase. Tim already meant more to her at this point than she expected. She couldn't stand back and watch him self-destruct for someone who didn't deserve it. Tim is not even close to being used to someone showing up for him like this at this point. It's so very foreign to him.

Not only that but someone putting him in place and knocking sense back into him. Something he comes to learn and love about Lucy. Becomes the fabric of their dynamic really. In the moment he's so angry with her but long term forever grateful she stepped in like she did. That crack in his wall starting to grow a little more. A defining moment for them early on in this season. They had me hook line and sinker after this. I was already low-key shipping them but this added to it.

5. 1x03 The Good The Bad and the Ugly

Another building block episode. A crucial one for them really. I love how their early episodes set them up beautifully for the rest of the season. If not for these episodes you wouldn't see how wonderful the growth is for them both. The episodes that'll be in my honorable mentions are the fruit of these. Because without seeing where they came from how could we deeply appreciate how far they've come? Tim is imploding at a high velocity in this episode. Doesn't care about the collateral damage either. At this point that damage radius includes Lucy.

We truly see Tim as his very worst in the beginning. The beautiful thing is Lucy see's past his hurt into who he is as a person. He is worth getting through to. Also she also see's he is a god damn dumpster fire. One that if she doesn't put him out he's going to take her down with him. You know Tim respects the hell out of her for the scene above. (Not in the moment but in the long term of it all.)

For standing up to him and showing him how selfish he was being. It's what earns her that wonderful scene in the shop afterwards. Where he opens up and tells her about Isabel and a little bit of their history. His way of thanking her for getting his head on straight. Their early stuff is so raw but so good. They're learning how to function together. Usually one of them leading the other more depending on the situation. Start of their wonderful dynamic.

~~~

Honorable mentions-Ones I wanted to include cause they're amazing but can only gif the top 5 and one mention ha So it'll be my top ten for each season. They have so many good eps.

1x18 Home Front

So much to love about this one. Lucy busting his chops the entire ep. Get our first glimpse into their playful work flirts. Her challenging him on his personal life and not work for the first time. Standing her ground in that opinion. Like she does best with him. Telling Tim he needs something other than work. Naturally is defensive at first and eventually caves in. It results in the cute paintball moment above we all know and love.

1x19-Checklist-We get another glimpse into what Tim is willing to do to keep Lucy from washing out. I love this episode and how we start to see Tim trust in her decision making skills. Like the woman with the swapped plates. She lets her go and it ends up working out for her. The final scene is the best where he logs OT for her to continue on in the program. Lucy feeling so supported with this gesture. *heart clutch* So good.

1x16 Green light- Our first look into how protective Lucy can be about Tim. Their rank be damned in her opinion. The way she protects and defends him to Detective Murphy is glorious. Not caring she's her superior officer. She is kicking him when he is already down and Lucy won't stand for it. Then Tim returns the favor when she's upset about catching Cole. ‘Grief is grief. It’s a hole that can’t be filled. But over time, it’ll shrink enough so that you won’t fall in every time you take a step.’ His growth in this line is amazing to watch unfold. How he has grown since his whole debacle with Isabel.

1x15-Man Hunt.- We see some more fruit of Lucy's impact on Tim. Him wanting to do more with his career. He decides to go for Sergeant and we all know she is part of that reason. Also we get a glimpse into Tim and his rookie days through Deacon and his 54 connection. Lucy is delighted to get a birds eye view to his past. It's the scene where they're defending the escaped prisoner that's the best. Saying how he refuses to do something he will be ashamed in the light of day. This moment being proof Lucy's impact on him from 1x07. Its beautifully full circle.

1x01 Pilot-Gotta include the pilot. It's what set the table for them. "Officer Bradford gets our hot shot." He sure does. Getting a look into them as characters and where they start off from. It's what hooked me to this show to begin with. Other than just my love for Eric and Nathan at the time lol I saw deep characters with so much potential and I've been hooked ever since.

~~~

Season 2. Has an unreal amount of good eps for them did my best to keep it to ten.

2x11 Day of Death

Naturally this iconic episode is my favorite of S2. How could it not be? This is a massively seminal moment in their history. It's where they go from border-line friends to bonded in a way no one else will ever understand. We watch Lucy fight tooth and nail to stay alive. She is so resilient because she knows Tim is on his way. He won't let her die. Won't Let Caleb win. Her immense amount of faith is beautiful. Knowing that he will get to her in time. Not a doubt in her mind.

We watch Tim race against the clock to rescue her. The pressure and anxiety mounting through out the entire episode for him. Like a weight on his soul he refuses to put down until she is back. We get to witness how much Tim has come to care about Lucy. See the depth's he will go to get her back safely. Also get to see a darker side to him. Which I wasn't totally opposed to seeing in order to get to her. (and wouldn't mind seeing again. tbh) 'Today is your day of reckoning. I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to, to save her.' *fans self* That man is on edge from the moment she goes missing till she is in his arms above.

First actual relaxing breath he takes the entire ep. You see how his body slumps against her in relief as he holds her. How deeply worried he was and won't let her out of his sight afterwards. We all know that man slept at the hospital all night and didn't take his eyes off her until she woke up. To make sure he was the first face she saw. That final scene in the hospital a beautiful look into the deep bond they've formed at this point. I love them sfm. Where we get our next Iconic OTP Line. 'You know me so well. Too Well.' Amongst a flurry of heart eyes and emotions.

2. 2x12 Now and Then

What I love the most about this episode is how Tim steps back. Let's her get taken care of by someone other than himself. Control Freak Tim Bradford hands the reins over. Because her recovering is more important than his ego. The growth I can not. He see's a blind spot within himself that he can not help out with. So he heeds Nyla's words when she approaches him about taking her on. He watches anxiously from afar wanting not to over step the entire episode.

Lucy is hurt he doesn't let her ride with him right away. She is confused and her emotions are all over the place in this episode. Rightfully so. We get to see once again how much Tim cares about her. The way he's asking everyone around her how she is. Even asks Nolan how she is really doing. You know that was hard for him to do. We get to the end of the episode and this glorious scene above. Tim sharing a piece of his past to heal her present.

You can tell he so desperately wants to take on some of her pain. That if he could he would. Still shouldering the weight of her being taken being on him. Trying to give her some hard won perspective. This is his way of saying he's so proud of her, he misses her, hoping him sharing his past brings her back to him. Brings Lucy back to being his sunshine human. Not the angry resentful one he see's in front of him. It's a beautiful scene for the both of them. The sweet smiles when he tosses back the ring. My damn heart.

3. 2x13 Follow Up Day

Another Iconic moment in S2. This season is full of them. Ground breaking moments that drive them forward as a ship. He's passed his Sergeants exam. Hooray. Lucy is SO DAMN PROUD when they get the news. It's the thing he's been working toward since the beginning of S2. He's offered a Hollywood post. One that he can have quickly. A prominent position for him right out the gate and yet he hesitates. Why you ask? Well he's a little too attached to his current rookie that he pretends he isn't attached to. (While dating her best friend might I add. Something I would forget regularly in this season)

Lucy reminds him why he wants to stay around and not leave yet. She challenges him, supports him and believes in Tim in a way he's never had before. Has unwavering faith in him. He says he's not done training her yet. When really he's not ready to let go of the influence she's had on his life. Heart eyes galore. She is more important than moving up atm. I love it.

4. 2x02 The Night General

The beginning of Tim's quest to study for being a Sergeant. It starts off as Tim torturing Lucy with reading his out of print book to him. What starts out as him enjoying making her read it turns into so much more. Lucy quickly turns it around on him. Because well Lucy. Decides on specific segments to have him recite back. Quickly annoying him and he loses this game fairly quickly. It's during this studying we find out Tim learns a certain way. That he must be in motion to absorb the material. (Me too love) He doesn't take this news in stride very well because it's Tim.

Lucy goes above and beyond to apologize for upsetting him. She spends what I assume is any free time between shifts recording the book for him. Not only does she do this she reassures him that it's ok to learn this way. There is no shame in it even compliments him because of it. Telling him its why he excels at being a cop. I

I just adore this moment so much because she builds him up and encourages him. Never once letting him feel shame for how he learns. Lucy taking care of him in ways Tim can't even comprehend atm. He is overwhelmed by her support and empathy. Can only muster a really loaded 'Thanks.' Such a lovely building block for them. Also welcome to the sweaty gun show above *fans self*

5. 2x08 Clean Cut

Ahh the protective Lucy episode. We get to see how far Tim will go for Lucy in this season. The audience also gets to see how far Lucy is willing to go to protect and defend Tim. Just like in 1x16 she charges head long at a superior to defend Tim. Refusing to let anyone sully his name or character. From the moment their shop hits that woman's car she goes into 'Protect Tim mode.' at all costs.

Hell raining down on anyone who gets in the way of her clearing his name. Eating anyone trying to stop her from righting this wrong she KNOWS is a wrong against him. Tim is so defeated and resigned after it happens. He's not going to defend himself so Lucy takes it on herself to do this. The ferocity is noticed by Tim. Why he lets her lead the questioning against the shady BF.

Lucy breathes life back into him that they could overturn this. That unshakeable faith she has in him. Refusing to let him give up on himself. It's the way she builds him up and won't let him think any less of himself I adore so much. After it's reversed and he gets his award she's a proud wifey. Even throwing back his own words at him when he thanks her. Eyes full of love. It's fantastic full circle moment for them.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

2x19-Q Word

As I've said earlier S2 is chock full of goodies. Tim learning the place he still holds in Lucy's life. He is her GO TO. A place he thought he had lost in 2x11. He gave up having that spot in her life because he no longer felt worthy of it. That he was given his shot and he blew it. Lucy not for one damn second thought he forfeited that. She was more upset he wasn't engaging with her about this than anything else.

Lucy does her best to relieve him of his burden. Of the guilt he continues to feel. To let him know it was NOT his fault. That his opinion is one of most value to her. The very opposite of what Tim thought of his place in her world. It's a good episode. One of the best parts above. Lucy applying some salve to his guilty soul.

2x06 Fallout

Lots to love in this ep. Tim trying and failing at 'being nice' to Lucy while she goes through her emotions about her ex. To him tapping into his actual soft side for her. The genuine side. Them facing a bomb threat and Lucy getting to unleash all her anger about her ex's wedding Such a good scene.. With a little of Lucy throwing his words back like no one else can. Lastly ending with them deciding to spend their last moments on earth together drinking booze. Damn good ep.

2x10-The Dark Side

Ahhh the pre-DOD episode. Where Tim spends the entire episode being over protective of Lucy and not sure why he is. All he knows is he doesn't like this guy sniffing around her. His cop gut screaming at him with a mixture of jealously and actual worry. The whole episode is one giant foreshadowing for the following episode.

2x14 Casualties

Tim background eps are always my jam. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this man and learning of his history. Getting a little look into his life in the service with Mitch. Also the intro of their fur-baby Kojo and how very unready Lucy is to care for him. We get our next Iconic OTP line 'Some things matter more.' A moment which is such a prominent scene for them. Good precursor to the moment they share in 2x19 as well.

2x01 impact

The premiere got some real good stuff. We see how Tim reacts so very poorly to Lucy protecting him. Regressing them both with his flour bomb moment. HIs anger coming out in everything he does with her in this episode. Lucy taking it at first then reaches her boiling point towards the end. Basically hands him his ass in a way only Lucy Chen can. It's glorious. Turns him around so much he brags on her to Grey later on about her jump after a suspect. 'Of course she did. I trained her.'

~~~

Season 3

3x09 Amber

Ahh my fav ep of the season. This episode has so many good moments. Lucy with her list for a 'healthy parting.' How she is determined to make her last day a big deal with Tim. Where as Tim is also determined, just in the opposite direction. Because if he talks about it he's going to have to face her leaving. Which we all know he does not want to do. Fights her on it most of the episode. Until something serious happens. Then Tim finally gives in to distract Lucy from the stressful baby scenario they're currently in.

Takes care of her by letting her do the bloody list he's trying to avoid. They have a lovely moment of reminiscing over Plain Clothes Day. How far Lucy has come since that moment. The amount of confidence she had gained. Learning to trust her instincts fully. Something Tim saw in her day one and wanted her to hone in on. Lucy then brings up UC and Tim saying she doesn't have what it takes. it leads into the most iconic moment of the episode. Where she "pretends" to have feelings for Tim.

Sending Tim into an ABSOLUTE panic till she can't take it anymore and breaks into pure laughter. Wounding his pride severely in the process of proving her point. We get two epic moments in this episode. The parking garage scene is lovely. A culmination of the last year of so. How far they've both come. His last eval being one that brings them full circle. Lucy's flour bomb finishing off the nostalgia. The heart eyes galore in this scene and its topped off with them calling each other by their first names. Starting a new chapter with this wonderful moment.

2. 3x14 Threshold

I LOVE this episode so much. It's why it's number 2. This episode is the culmination of Lucy's fast track UC training with Harper. Lucy chomping at the bit to prove herself. A VERY anxious Tim observing from the outside. The flirty flirt we get in the car makes me squee every time. Little bit of Tim and Lucy truly coming out in that moment. The touching is everything as she communicates silently with him about what's going on.

Then we get this moment above. Where they are blatantly flirting and checking each other out. Especially Tim. Man could not be more transparent in his attraction to Lucy at this point. The elevator gaze before they even talk. *fans self* Shameless flirting, praise from Tim and to top it off Tim is the one to ask Lucy to save him a dance. I remember going out of my mind with excitement when I saw this episode. Look at them above. My god the UST in immense and I love it so very much.

3. 3x06 Revelations

The episode where Lucy begins her interest in UC. It's a ROUGH episode for Tim for a lot of reasons. From his PTSD about Isabel with Mack showing up to seeing Lucy put in harms way. We see the protective side come out fiercely in this one. He doesn't even try to tamp it down. Especially in front of others. i.e. the entire OP room LOL Tim battling past demons and losing terribly. Seeing his favorite human put at risk isn't sitting well with him. His panic at losing her or possibly getting hurt making him lose his mind.

Lucy just wanting him to be proud of her. For showing an interest outside of patrol. To be excited she got put on an OP because she kicked ass on the fly. Impressed Harper enough to green light her. His approval and opinion meaning the entire world to her. When he doesn't she is so very discouraged. That's what makes the moment above so important and amazing. Tim putting aside those demons and letting her have that approval and praise she earned ten times over. Because at the end of the day this OP was about her and not him. So he puts her first with the lovely moment above.

4. 3x11 New Blood

Where we see Lucy be utterly CONSUMED by jealously and insecurities. Tim gets his new rookie and Lucy is excited at first. Then see's Tim isn't treating her anywhere near how she was treated in the beginning. He's being nice, letting her drive, buying her coffee, being soft and empathetic. All things she had to drag out of him kicking and screaming. I've said this before but Tim was her first real 'puppy' with massive success. It was a lot of work though for her to have the relationship she has with him now.

Then this Katie Barnes comes in and gets it all in one shift. Lucy is losing her damn mind most of the ep. Watching from afar with massive jealously. Poor Jackson has to listen to it most of his shift LOL Comes with the bestie territory though. By the end of the episode she see's Tim filling out her paperwork and lets Tim have it. What I love is he doesn't get mad at her for it.

Doesn't reprimand her just quell's her insecurities. Explaining why he was training Barnes the way he was. Then seals the scene with the lovely line above. Lucy is absolutely beaming when he walks away. Full of so much joy and happiness she can't contain herself. He thinks she is one of the best rookie's he's trained and lets her know it. Saying maybe one day Katie could be as good as her. *sigh* So good.

5. 3x01 Consequences

Their first marriage episode of the season. Where Lucy is on Tim like white on rice. Her confidence and self esteem shines through out this season and this is the starter episode of it all. The way they go through Nolan's house together is fantastic. She challenges Tim the entire time with her own cop gut. It's so fun to watch the back and forth.

They go from cute banter to Tim being a fierce protector when they have to go see Rosalind. Tim tries to prevent her from going in. Wanting to shield her from this monster. Lucy refuses says she can handle it. Rosalind just see's someone she can play with. Tim attempts to hold back. Not interfere and tries to keep Lucy steady. Then loses it when she taunts Lucy with her barrel song. The official title of 'Fierce protector.' is born in this moment. Such a good episode for them beginning to end.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

3x02 In-Justice

I adore this ep because it is one giant flirting session. The scene above alone is proof of that. Tim just sitting back and enjoying the Lucy show. Setting up a game he knows she is going to absolutely crush. (and does) They're legit flirting in front of their call for like two minutes before they disengage and Lucy works her magic. Also we get to see how soft Tim is for Lucy and gone for her with her car. Telling her to get over until Caleb PTSD in brought into the picture. It's then he caves instantly. Also the introduction of their pseudo daughter Tamara. Lucy's 'puppy.'

3x04-Sabotage

The fruit of the last couple eps coming to fruition. Lucy having Tim revisit something he did on her first shift. Confronting him about how he treated those gardeners. Not only that but the impact he had on them through his actions. This brings Tim's defenses immediately up and he snaps at her. Trying to defend his actions because he is feeling defensive. He does a poor job of it and shuts down completely. Reason being he's ashamed of who he was then and Lucy bringing it up hurts in a way he wasn't expecting.

We get to see our boy go through some serious growth. MASSIVE growth really. I could not be prouder of him for it. For not shutting down for the rest of the day. Letting Lucy know he was wrong and what he can do so it never happens again. Love this ep for the Tim growth, Lucy calling him out and letting him know how proud she is of him. It's such a good moment/ep for them.

3x07 True Crime

I personally LOVE the documentary episodes so much. The reason being their banter is the best part. Their chemistry is on full display for all to see. Lucy owns Tim's ass in this one. Shoots down all his cocky comments. He is also all heart eyes whenever she isn't crushing him with her words ahha. Light hearted fun ep for them.

3x08 Bad Blood

Good ep for Tim telling her like it is when he's trying to avoid it like the plague haha Emmett breaking up with her over text. Lucy doesn't handle it well. She self destructs till Tim does what he does best and gives her some solid perspective. Helping her finally solve the 'Why' behind her break up.

3x05 Lockdown

Tim and Lucy being a united front against Doug is the absolute best. How Tim comes tearing into the station after Stanton and Lucy has to stop him. Then Stanton is an extra ass and Tim then has to prevent Lucy from hurting him. The way they have each other's backs always gets to me. They spend the entire episode this kick ass duo determined to protect Jackson. I love it sfm.

~~~~

Season 4 another super hard one for me but top ten helped.

4x09 Breakdown

I'm sure some of you thought I would choose 4x22. It follows this one pretty closely but I ADORE this episode. It's my favorite for so many reasons. Lucy has a day off and how does she spend it? With Tim and his sister redoing his childhood home. Totally normal 'Friend' status there. Nothing soulmate level about that at all....Then they spend the episode chasing down his father's sordid past. This is due to a gun they find in the wall. Not only that but how heavily Tim leans on Lucy during the process.

Let's her take the lead and trusts her to handle portions of it for him. Like interrogating his dad's former mistress. Then we get this GLORIOUS scene above. Hands down my favorite hug of their's. Tim confronting his father and walking out feeling nuclear in his emotions. He is radioactive from that interaction and so very hurt. He explains what his father did to Lucy. He's so disgusted and hurt.

Then he is NEEDING Lucy to know he isn't his father. That the Tim tests don't make him like his dad. He is on the verge of tears as he says this to her. The most vulnerable we have ever seen Tim in general but especially with her. Lucy jumping into action and gathering him up in her arms. Comforting him, letting him know he is NOTHING like him. Tim sinks into the hug. Wraps himself entirely around her. Letting her hold him up emotionally. It's here we see the last of his wall crumble to the ground never to be rebuilt again. This was the ep I knew we were headed towards them getting together. All time fav ep.

2. 4x22 Day in The Hole

So much to love in this episode. From their daughter getting her ‘first’ car to finding Tim's bizzaro world double 'Dim' LOL Also the introduction of Juicy aha It's so good I can not. Lucy getting beyond excited to get Tim all dressed up for his UC mission. Especially with the tattoo's. Then when Juicy gets involved so does Lucy. It's AU Tim and Lucy and I was dying. Lucy breaks his brain in more ways than one above. The way she stuns him with her UC background for their characters LMAO He stumbles on his words and shifts like his pants are getting little tight for him heh. They haven't even kissed yet.

It will forever crack me up his reaction. Also the hilarious lead up to the kiss. How nervous and awkward they are. 'Well that's romantic....I wasn't trying to be romantic.' LMFAO. Clearly Timothy.... Eric and Melissa's chemistry on full display in this moment. Then the way Lucy just grabs his face and the kiss above happens. How they instantly melt into each other. Like why haven't we been doing this the entire time? You can see Tim ready to seriously deepen the kiss above. The pre-tongue action going on. Hot damn. I remember having to rewind it making sure what I was seeing was real.

The hilarity that ensures when Tamara walks in is so so funny. Never not cackle at this. Lucy's 'Oh!' and Tim is stumbling over himself to get out of there. Makes me laugh just writing it. The awkward 'Good jobs' and pointing. I'm dying. Tim's epiphany in the hallway is the best. Can no longer run from how he feels anymore. That kiss unlocking why he's felt the way he does. The awkward way they interact at the station. Both hiding in their vehicles waiting to find the courage to come out. Gah such a good finale leading to an incredible season 5.

3. 4x12 The Knock

Another episode on the road to them ending up together. They are at soulmate level territory in the scene above alone. The entire episode is fantastic. 'Personal space I don't know her' is the theme of this episode for them. From this 'date' to their case. Where Tim lets her take the lead. They're right on top of each other in that hallway scene when Tim is asking her POV on what they should do.

The beach date is one of the best parts. I don't know how both Ashley and Chris didn't just get up and leave. It's so obvious Tim and Lucy are the ones on a date. Chris and Ashley just happen to be there. The way they flirt the entire time, the inside jokes, the way they know each other so deeply. Their intimate connection on full display.

It's the lack of space I adore so much. That magnetic pull of their's. Never be over Gerald the goat. The way they lovingly stare at each other after he's told the story. The only ones laughing are them. To think either of them (Chris and Ashley) actually thought they had a chance against their bond. Such fools. I would've been highly threatened after that display. Something so intimate about knowing someone on an emotional level like they do. Height of their soulmate moments in this one.

4. 4x18-Backstabbers

Gah this episode be still my damn shipper heart. Lucy getting annoyed she isn't getting any recognition as Tim's aide. Naturally at first Tim pushes against it. Gives her crap for asking for it. Little bit of Old school Tim coming out in this scenario. But we see by the end of the episode him cracking for her. Like he always does. Tim cashing in on the dance he owed her from 3x14. How these two don't know they're in love at this point I couldn't tell you. Blows my damn mind.

The fact that he gives up recognition for her to have it. To further her career and telling her he wants her to be successful? Gah not to mention the heart eyes in this moment. Lucy is beaming brightly like a Christmas tree at this gesture. Tim is so so gone for her by this point it's oozing out of him. If you watched these two above with no context you'd think they were together. Everything about them says how in love they are. The entire scene is one giant I love you/in love with you moment. Tim I don't do weddings Bradford tearing up the dance floor with his girl. Gah I can not.

5. 4x01-Life and Death

The premiere is so very very good. Tim offering her a safe space the moment they get some time alone. Especially after hearing how heartbroken she is. How she can't go back to her apt without Jackson right now. The way he gives her a safe place to crash land into. I love it sfm. Then we get the gloriously intimate and beautiful hug above. The one that sparks the flame between them. One they've been trying to keep at a low flame roaring into an inferno. Their emotions and closeness ramping it up to a level neither is ready for.

The chemistry in this moment is out of this world good. Both being smacked in the face with the growing UST between them. Lucy going for it but it being shot down by Wesley's call. Gah such a good way to start an amazing season. Then Lucy spends the rest of the episode worrying about him from the other side of the world. Letting him know that worry until he makes it back. Such a good premiere.

Honorable Mentions

4x07 Fire Fight

This scene alone is why it's my first honorable mention. Phew lord. The fiery UST in this scene. HOT DAMN. The brazen way they're both looking at each other. This is totally platonic friendship right here....The intense gaze gets me in my shipper feels. Then Tim gets his wits about him a bit before sassing her. Telling her the mic is too high. Her ripping it right off and his face LOL They're so married it kills me. I do love the way she bosses him around in this scene and afterwards when he's in the car. She's projecting jealously entire time.

4x06 Poetic Justice

Oh you know just another episode where all they do is compete and flirt. Not caring about anyone else around them while they do so. Because they can't handle their emotions yet. So they intensely channel it into flirting and competitive things instead. I love these idiots so much.

4x08 -Hit and Run

I LOVE this episode for the Tim background alone. We get the introduction of his sister Genny. Who I love sfm. Lucy of course eats up her being there. She THRIVES on any morsel of info she can get on his background. Lucy is enjoying herself till his dark childhood is brought up. His sister is there to sell their childhood home and he doesn't want to be apart of it. ""Wha-what do you want? Some other family to just cuddle up under the broken plaster where dad slammed my head against the wall?" Ugh my heart. My boy. But it's such a good episode in full for Tim. Also for Lucy getting to meet his sister.

4x14-The Long Shot

This is a great episode for Lucy. We get to see more about her background as well. Finally finding out why her mother is the way she is with her. Her deep digging revealing her father isn't her real father. How much she struggles in this episode emotionally. We get to see how natural it is for Tim to be there for her. Not an ounce of fight left in him to stay out of her personal life. This is just part of who they are now and it's such growth I can not stand it.

4x16-Real Crime

Another gem for the documentary series. If you think they were married in this last one they double down on this one. The amount of cuteness, sass and marriage moments is primo in this one. 'Can I be interviewed alone?' LMAO The epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine. Lucy having the time of her life while Tim is a grumpsaurous. Their dynamic gives me life haha I adore this entire episode for them.

S5 I adore all it's own. If you want a ranking from 1-22 I can do that but I can not choose. Hurts me too much to do that LOL but here are my picks for 1-4. Once again thank you for being so patient on my reply. This was a hefty ask to answer thank you for asking me :) I hope you enjoy the answer.

[scoobydoodean]

You know what just really frost my cookies with the whole "Dean doesn't care as much about Cas" discourse??? That post you reblogged about how strong their relationship was in s4/s5 got me thinking about this, but like they had two seasons of such intense relationship building and camaraderie, that Dean was literally fighting Bobby and Sam (his two most important people!!!) over not trusting Cas in s6, and it was DEAN who tried to keep a relationship with Cas s6 - s8, like that man tried everything to keep their relationship going - and that's not to blame Cas, he had his own shit going on (well except for s6, I do blame him for that lol his position is understandable, but it was still his fault), but Dean tried and it still just never worked.

Maybe this is just me, but I've always kind of viewed their relationship in the later seasons as, Dean worked hard to keep them going for so long that eventually it kind of just...hit him that maybe Cas didn't want that? So he stopped trying quite as hard, he remembered the times Cas left, and he interpreted them as rejections, which is in part why the Divorce Arc happened - it was a culmination of many many MANY things, not just the "obvious". That's just my interpretation though, and obviously others have and can interpret it differently.

In summary I see it as, early seasons Dean chasing and pining after Cas, eventually feels rejected and betrayed, later seasons Cas chasing and pining after Dean

Though to be fair and admit to my biases, I was watching s6-s8 in real time on TV, and then I drifted away mid s9 and didn't go back and watch the rest of the seasons until recently, so my strongest impressions of Destiel are of those earlier seasons, so I tend to view it in a different light I think than people who started watching later (or more specifically after Nov 5th and/or for Cas - not that anything is wrong w watching for those reasons lol)

Yeah I think it is very very silly to think that Dean doesn’t care about Cas as much as Cas cares about him. Like wildly so.

I think this line of thinking comes mainly from focusing too much on one character's POV. I think Dean came off a few times in season 6 like he saw his relationship with Cas as transactional—even though that isn’t imo how he actually felt about Cas (just like we can analyze Cas as thinking of his relationship with the Winchesters as very transactional but he does care about them despite how it appears). I think Dean was just kind of hurt because Cas had ghosted him for so long and he thought they were friends and they'd built this bond? So in season 6, he was reacting to what he thought were the boundaries Cas himself set—boundaries that suggested Cas—the guy controlling the means of communication—did not want a friendship with him. Cas ditched Dean in the car at the end of Swan Song and then just invisibly watched Dean rake leaves. Dean was right there. Dean could only pray to Cas. Cas wouldn’t respond. In season 6, without giving Dean a say—while watching Dean rake leaves and considering whether to ask for his help—Cas decided (again--unilaterally) he wouldn't involve Dean, and I do think that decision was out of love, and also probably because... well—he probably thought "what can Dean actually... do?" But ultimately, he wanted a person he cared about who had been through a lot to just be able to rest—that's what he says. Not including Dean (and Sam) continued after Dean came back to hunting as well, because 1) Cas was still thinking about protecting Dean 2) He didn't think Dean could do anything to help (which I think is... probably pretty reasonable—he originally considered including Dean I think mainly for his tenacity) 3) the whole thing had ballooned and Cas was making deals he probably didn't even fully agree with himself—so he was ashamed to some extent, but also knew... he wasn't going to stop, and that Dean would ask him to stop.

Cas is... well—I'm going to say "more morally flexible"... and I don't think that's always a bad thing. This is a useful quality in the line of work TFW is in, honestly. He is more ruthless than Sam and Dean and he also knows that he is, and I think he actually likes to position himself as the ruthless one. He likes being the person who is willing to do what is necessary to get shit done and he's willing to sacrifice a part of himself to do it... because he can take it. He planned to kill Jesse behind the Winchester's backs to spare them the unpleasantness (and the same, later, with Kelly and Jack—when Sam and Dean were looking for a way to save both of them and Cas just went to go find Kelly and kill her). He broke Sam's wall and killed a very good friend—Balthazar—because his friends were standing in his way and he was focused on his ultimate purpose which was stopping another apocalypse. He mind tortured Donatello because it needed to be done. I think that Dean understands that Cas wants to position himself as the ruthless one, and I think Dean also understands that this isn't always a bad quality. I also think it's an obvious point of contention, because Dean is the least morally flexible in the group and is the most tenacious, which I think Cas, in turn, appreciates about Dean—but it is going to lead to clashes between them as best friends with one being tenacious about choosing the least morally crooked path when possible, and the other saying "Can we please just get on with it? I'll do it if you don't want to—I don't mind."

And that's... to some extent, what is happening in season 6... besides the lying and the hurt besties feelings and secrets and betrayals. The actual soul swallowing plan? It's Dean's tenacious insistence on following a more prudent path versus Cas's "Let's get the fuck on with it"... and there's fairness to both sides of that imo... which is why I'm annoyed with certain individuals trying to make this a "sides" thing. It isn't the actual plan as much as it's what he did around it that's the issue, and Dean isn't obligated to agree with him or to trust him after he lied so many goddamn times. Like. Dean's trust was not something to which Cas was entitled, point blank.

You're right—Dean didn’t think Cas would ever lie to him like that in season 6. He couldn’t believe it. He refused to believe it. And I think fans do this thing actually where they hear Cas say in season 6 that he’s always trusted Dean and he always comes when Dean calls and they just buy into that and go “Yeah! That’s so true!” and build an entire analysis on that (and then post insufferable parallels between that and 4.21 thinking they are saying something about Dean's "trust issues" when they are... making a very different parallel lmao). What Cas is saying about always trusting Dean isn’t true—and what’s more, Cas knows it isn’t. He knows suggesting Dean doesn’t trust him enough isn’t fair. When he was spying on Sam and Dean and Bobby he made specific note of “Dean trying so hard to be loyal” and defending him fiercely. (In fact—was there anyone Dean trusted more at that point in his life—despite also clearly being hurt by Cas ghosting him? Bobby, maybe. That's about it.) When Cas came back and tried to retroactively claim entitlement to Dean’s trust, he suggested an imbalance of trust because he was trying to dig into that part of Dean that is loyal to his friends. In other words, he was telling a lie for manipulation purposes, and that's just the damn truth. It isn't some crap about Dean having trust issues. It's Dean not buying some crap Cas is trying to sell—a twisted picture he is trying to paint to avoid doing something worse to get Dean out of his way.

It is insane for people to say Dean doesn't care about Cas as much as Cas cares about him though when you consider Cas hurt someone Dean loves just to keep Dean out of his way—he broke Sam's brain—Sammy's brain—and Dean still found a way to forgive that despite all of the trauma he has wrapped up in protecting Sam, and then he fought 360 degree combat through Purgatory looking for someone who abandoned him. Then while that person was beating him to death he was looking up at him calling him family and Cas again abandoned him. Any time Dean expressed affection for Cas there was a good bet Cas leaving would follow quickly. But Dean approaches Cas in a way the majority of fandom refuses to approach all of the characters—with an understanding of his motivations and hangups and intentions and what is in his heart (and Cas approaches him the same way). Despite it all, Dean knows that Cas cares about him. He doesn't understand why Cas won't include him though—or he does, and the reasons aren't okay with him and Cas will. not. stop. and that is the ever growing festering wound that leads to the divorce arc. It is absolutely 100% a "straw that broke the camel's back" situation. Dean's frustrations with Cas's unilateral decision-making are not... ever dealt with. Cas wanting to ghost Dean is not ever dealt with. Cas Malewifing sidelining Dean whenever he damn well feels like it by just refusing to answer the phone is not ever dealt with. Because each time it's discussed, it happens again. The ultimate narrative is just that Dean should be expected to accept it, and be grateful, and I don't think that's fair. I don't think that refusing to communicate is something that Dean should have to put up with from his best friend. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But more than that, I'm sad that it's something Cas isn't allowed to grow from, because that tendency—that desire for that secrecy and control of the means of communication and that desperation for martyrdom—that is coming from a place of great pain for Cas—a wound—and it's a deep one, and he deserved to get to start to close that wound up and heal.

[cirusthecitrus]

Can I ask Entrapta and Hordak for the character ask meme?

First impression: with Entrapta, she caught my eye even before the show premiered, when I saw the promo art. I fell in love with her design right away, though i didn't care much for her character at first, just didn't get the hype. It is only after she showed her vulnerable side, when she thought her friends abandoned her (but we knew it was not true!), thats when I got invested. Tuned in for the drama, stayed for the purble mad scientist

Same with Hordak. Didn't care for the character, loved the design. And I loved it specifically because he looked similar to the demon characters from my original story I was working on with a friend at the time. The long pointy ears, the nose, the glowing eyes, the clawed hands and sharp teeth, they also have wings just like Imp!

Oh and I always loved his relationship with Imp, it was so fun to watch these two interact :3

Impression now: to me personally Entrapta and Hordak are the real heart of the show. They are both integral to the story, they're interesting and fun in their own ways and their relationship is simply the best thing the show has to offer. Plus their personal journeys are so exquisitly tragic, love me some good angst

They're both my lil scrunklies, my beloved chew toys, one of my fave evil power couples. Though I gravitate more towards Hordak, he got that melancholic sad doe eyes rizz. And older brother issues (hes just like me fr🤝)

Favorite moment: oof but there are so many. 'Imperfection is beautiful' and 'I am Hordak' are obviously in my top 5, but I also want to mention some other ones

From entrapdak scenes - the one where they chat while sitting on Hordak's throne, the one where Hordak protects Entrapta from the portal explosion and the iconic "What have you done to me?" scene

As for their personal moments, I still giggle at Entrapta's "Do I need to explain math to you?🤨", also I can't get over her soft hum and lil smile when she remembers her lab partner in the portal reality

And with Hordak, again, love all the scenes where he's so casually adorable with Imp, also s4 moments when he's being obsessed with Entrapta (can't deside between the blushing scene and the 'crying over her' scene)

Idea for a story: For Entrapta I've been thinking about an au where she gets consumed by the Island before her friends find her, turning into this scary powerful monster who still has some of her free will. And she either escapes the island herself, becoming a threat to both the Horde and the rebellion (but eventually she and Hordak save each other with the power of love~), or she stays on BI and has this emotional fight with Adora and Bow where she gets to voice all her fears and grievances, but in the end gets defeated and comforted

For Hordak I have this idea about him meeting another clone with the same defect as him. Maybe he was just fresh out of a pod, and his condition only took a toll on him after the fall of Prime. I imagine Hordak being so gentle and protective of him, giving him all the love and understanding + recourses he was deprived of. I also imagine him finally not feeling so alinated when he's around his own kind, like a black sheep among his "perfect" able bodied brothers, because now he knows he's not the only one

Unpopular opinion: Entrapta's trauma should've been treated more seriously and not forgotten right after the Beast Island episode. S5 felt like s4 events were erased from everyone's memory. Also, it should've affected Entrapta more. Again, where are the conflicted feelings towards Hordak? It was never established that she found out the truth about her exile, that Hordak was lied to and had no idea about it. And where are the conflicted feelings towards Catra? The more I think about it, the more I hate that dumb apology and the fact that it was enough for Entrapta to forgive her, after everything Catra did to her and her loved ones

With Hordak... those are not quite common, but it is still tiring to see some fandom opinions where ppl critique this version of Hordak by calling him a loser and a lame villain/character, because he's not "badass" and "threatening" enough and is bad at his job as the leader of the Horde. Cause like... that's the point. Hordak was bad at this because he was not suited for this role, he is not a leader and thats not bad/contradicting writing, thats just his character trait. He was only trying to mimic the only role model he ever had in his life, trying to fit into Prime's shoes and obviously failing at it, because he's not Prime. He was also programmed to be an obedient slave with no wants or ambitions, not a dominant power hungry ruler, and I can only imagine what it took him to become as powerful and threatening as he is in the show. He did not belong on that throne, not because he's incompetent/useless or stupid or a bad warlord, but because choosing to become Lord Hordak, choosing to go all this way to try and prove himself worthy to his uncaring god was,on itself, his biggest mistake, not the right path for him. The Etherian Horde is like that because it's existence was a mistake

Favorite relationship: romantic? with each other. Platonic? Also with each other, but also -

For Entrapta - her friendship with Adora and Wrongie (also Scorpia, but only pre s5 Scorpia, like girl what happened...)

For Hordak - his bond with Imp and his relationship with Horde Prime (i just love how tragic and messed up it is okay?)

Favorite headcanon: idk if a have a favorite, there are all sorts of hcs, so i'll just focus on a random one I like

I do find the idea of Hordak being creeped out and lowkey haunted by Entrapta's cat painting hilarious, but I also like to think that the cat was her real pet, maybe a childhood pet even, and by keeping the painting she honors the memory of her old friend

[generalluxun]

Looking at the episode listings now & Season 3 just gets more tragic, cos from Chloe's perspective its like this:

Mums back, but still hates me (Killed me) but hey I can be a super hero cos destiny, chance, choice whatever!

Oh no, I messed up being a super hero, was humiliated before everyone and... Well at least mom seems to like me now?

Followed with, well everyone hates me and I'm useless I might as well leave, oh gosh Ladybug thinks I can be good and useful & chose me!

Capped off with, I helped Ladybug and the rest of the team battle an army of Akuma, we almost defeated Hawk Moth and even had a team photo!

Like, yes I know you know all this, sorry, but like...

From her perspective at the end of season 2, she had zero reason to think she was not on the team.

Then its months of radio silence, rejections and battles at her door.

Still, she tries at times, like with Star Train, even if no one takes her seriously.

Then she's targeted by the villains & almost manages to defeat Hawk Moths second in command but is told she can't be hero anymore.

Followed very shortly afterwards by her parents declaring she only loves herself, attacking her and Ladybug choosing the only other hero with a known identity & then Hawk Moth ambushing her.

Again you know this, but it really does just emphasize the tragedy to me.

Now,

I am sure there will be someone who will go, "She's not owed a Miraculous" and sure, but frankly no one is owed super powers. Or, "Marinette is not obligated to help improve a girl who is always awful to her." Again, fair in concept, but here's the issue.

As I noted elsewhere, she already was chosen to use a Miraculous several times, as in sequentially there were no massive gaps that would give her the impression this would be a rare or one off thing.

Thing is, as only Ladybug is making these calls & chose her each time despite their history it is Ladybug's job to tell her that it was never going to last. Or at least order someone else too, or to have opted against choosing her again in the first place.

& as for Marinette, well again, she wasn't obliged to try and fix the family situation but she chose too. We can argue about whether it was in character to try, or the method she picked was out of character.

But within the context of the story, she did opt to insert herself into the this situation. It feels disingenuous to then turn around and say she can just divorce herself from it. If nothing else, she should maybe like... Tell an adult?

Like, its for sure a messy situation.

I'm not blaming Marinette for how messy it became but I do think its fair to note how this would look from Chloe's perspective without Marinette or our audience context. IE, her beloved idol who she's given adoration & obedience told her she could be a good & useful hero; then dropped her for months, & seemingly lied about why.

I also think its fair to note that regardless of whether it was the personally logical or morally right choice, Marinette did choose to involve herself of her own accord. Even suggesting involving Chloe could make her a better person! So people acting as though she's, at the very least, not involved at all is just feels disingenuous ya now?

The Season 3 finalé sets up so much for the folks who believe S4/5 was a retcon as opposed to plan. I don't think it was a retcon, but I DO believe it was a betrayal of the narrative before that point.

The S3 Finalé frames Chloé's fall *explicitly* as a tragedy. Fu uses the phrase 'Some lose hope' to describe her situation. Losing hope isn't an act of evil, it's an act of desperation and defeat. In a greater sense it is also framed as a failure of *Ladybug*.

Because no matter what people want to say about Marinette's duty to hep, *Ladybug* does have duties and responsibilities. On her watch a child was isolated and broken down over several episodes by Hawkmoth and Mayura. Season 3 starts the pattern of Ladybug failing with every Finale *Which is a very weird story to write!*

Now, the S3 Finalé would have worked as a low-point/mistake for LB to circle back to and address shortly after. Have her find out about Hawkmoth/Mayura's manipulation, about Queen Bee confronting Mayura and rejecting her. About her rejecting an akuma before anyone else. Have Marinette discover that things are not what they appeared on the surface (come on this is a classic theme for superheros!) and institute a process of mending fences. Ladybug grows from the experience, Chloé clearly will have growing to do too. In the end though the abused child is heard, and healing/help is given.

Instead they just went with 'nah ignore all the setup, Chloé is just evil, always has been, she is actually the abuser not her parents, and she deserves it.' (A statement Thomas wrote into S5E23 which was removed in production without his knowledge)

So yeah, no wonder people think it was a retcon. There's no world where the reality makes sense.

[stevesjockstrap]

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

🧁 A birthday present and love letter to @lawrencebshoggoth 😘 how impressed are you that I kept this a secret from you for like three whole days?

Rated E (this is pure filth and I’m not sorry) • read on ao3

Tags: canon compliant except Eddie lives, post s4

CW: implied offscreen bdsm negotiating, dom top Eddie, wax play, food play, knife play, blood play, come play, handcuffs, excessive pet names (one use of daddy), edging, face slapping, choking, (empty) threats of mutilation

If you’re good with all of that proceed under 😏

With his arms handcuffed to the bed frame above him, looking dopily up at Eddie with his blotchy tear-stained face, he wasn’t sure he could love Steve more. Scratches and cuts slowly seeping blood crisscrossed his torso as his chest heaved, Eddie digging a nail into one particularly good cut across his pec to hear him whine and gasp.

Grabbing what he wanted from the nightstand, the click of the lighter had Steve pulling against the handcuffs, making his arm muscles pull and bunch. Eddie wanted to bite them. But not yet.

Lighting the candle on the cupcake before tossing the lighter away, he smirked down at him. “Make a wish, baby boy.”

Steve closed his eyes and Eddie pulled the candle off the cupcake, tilting it slightly. A drip of wax landed above his belly button and his eyes shot open.

“What a nice wish, honey. I’ll make sure it comes true.”

Steve only panted up at him, watching with big round eyes as he continued dotting hot wax from the tiny candle up to his collarbone and biceps.

When the candle had melted down to about half an inch long, he held it in front of Steve’s face so he could blow out the flame.

Scooping a dollop of frosting from the cupcake with a finger, he eyed his canvas for a second before deciding on his placement.

Steve squirmed beautifully as he drew a heart around each nipple and his belly button. But he squeaked and held still when Eddie held the knife up again and scraped the icing and wax off.

He made heavy eye contact as he licked the sugar off the blade.

“Eds- ah!” He cried out as Eddie purposely got a little close to a nipple with the tip of the knife.

Eddie shushed him and brought the treat back to his mouth. “What, baby? Just enjoying my dessert. Here. Maybe you need something in your mouth?”

Grabbing the cupcake again he broke it in half and shoved it roughly into Steve’s panting mouth.

When the icing was mostly gone, he held the knife back to Steve’s left nipple. He threatened coolly, “Maybe I’ll slice your nipple clean off, baby, so we’ll match. What do you think?”

“Please, no,” His voice was as wrecked as he was, begging and pleading for most of an hour for Eddie to touch him or stop touching him. “Pl-please don’t Eds. I’ll-“

Snorting, he traced the point of the blade around the bud. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, little boy. You’re all tied up. What could you even do for me to keep this tiny thing?”

Steve’s hips bucked up into his where he was straddling him. Eddie was still in his rough jeans, driving Steve crazy with overstimulation as he drug his naked dripping cock against him. He hadn’t been allowed to come yet. But they both knew he couldn’t hold back much longer.

“I- I, oh fuck, I dunno. Please! Anything! I’ll do anything.”

“Ohh, anything?” He mocked, flicking the knife back and forth on his nipple to watch more tears slide down his cheeks.

“Yes! A-anything,” Steve sobbed, pulling at the handcuffs.

“Okay, baby. I’ll let you keep both nipples…” he stalled, pushing steadily now with the edge of the knife along the side of his puffy skin. “Hmm… let’s go with… you get to keep your perfect little tits- uh huh, they’re tits, honey- if… you don’t come.”

Before Steve could whine again, Eddie spit in his hand and wrapped it solidly around his angry cock, fisting it roughly.

Gasping and panting, it took him a long moment before he could find words to gasp out. “Oh! Oh my god, noooo, Eds! I can’t- I- I’m so close!”

Eddie smirked down into his wide eyes and kept a steady pace with his hand. A few strokes later he abruptly let go.

Steve’s hips jolted up and he let out a pitiful wail.

“Poor little thing, look at him,” he cooed condescendingly. “I thought you wanted me to stop.”

Shaking his head first before changing his mind and nodding, he let out another small noise as Eddie’s hand circled his dick again.

“I know, little Stevie doesn’t even know what he wants. Then he shouldn’t make deals when he can’t hold up his end of the bargain.”

“I- ah- fuuucckkk! Please pleasepleasepl-“

The sound of the slap rang through the room and Steve groaned as he received another quick slap across his cheek.

Continuing to jerk him off with his left hand, Eddie picked up the knife and traced it up over his chest and throat to his quivering lip.

“You’re awfully mouthy tonight, sugar. Stick out your tongue.”

Steve complied immediately, like Eddie knew he would. Precum dripped steadily from his cock and his eyes rolled back as Eddie ran the edge of the knife down the center of his tongue.

“If I didn’t love this fucking tongue so much, little boy, I’d think about cutting it off, too. What do you think?”

“Pl- pluz- E-Eehhh,“ he tried.

Eddie scoffed. “I’ve had enough with the ‘pleases.’ It’s just making my dick harder. Watching you squirm around under me. All the fight out of you yet?”

Nodding shallowly with the knife still against his tongue, his eyes still trying to plead his case for him.

“So so pretty, my messy little toy. Look at you. You’d beg for me to bleed you dry right now. I could hack off a hand and you’d still be hard and dripping for me. You’re so fucking perfect, baby.”

Steve writhed as he squeezed tighter around his length, knowing if he wasn’t actually going to cut him his little masochist needed some pain in order to come.

“Go ahead, little one. Come for me. Wanna see you.”

As soon as Eddie breathed the words Steve was shooting between them, pulling tightly at the handcuffs and almost bucking Eddie off of him.

“Oh dear, Stevie. It seems like you came.”

At his small whine, Eddie chuckled and scooped up some of his come from his chest. Steve opened his mouth immediately.

Pushing the come into his mouth, he huffed, “Don’t swallow.”

When most of the come was on his tongue, Eddie leaned forward and made eye contact as he sliced into the skin above Steve’s nipple.

He watched as Steve struggled not to swallow or choke on his own tongue, his cock refilling quickly.

“So good for me, Stevie. Bleeding so pretty. Maybe I’ll let you keep your nipple after all.”

Worrying against the cut and around his nipple to encourage the blood to flow, he collected it and rubbed his fingers against Steve’s tongue, tinging the mess pink.

“Open up, princess.”

Steve widened his mouth and Eddie spit down into the mess. Steve’s hips bucked up uncontrollably and Eddie tsked at him.

“Stay still, slut. And don’t swallow. I need that.” Sitting back, feeling Steve’s eyes on him like a heavy weight, he quickly unzipped his jeans and pulled out his own neglected cock. He repositioned his ass on top of Steve’s hard length. Ignoring Steve’s huff, he calmly ordered, “Now give it here.”

He cupped his palm under his chin and Steve wriggled to follow directions, spitting the concoction into his hand.

Eddie smirked at the sound that came out of Steve as he fucked his cock into the mess in his hand. The combination of their fluids.

“God, you’re so good for me, my little disgusting whore. Huh? Fuck, that’s it. You’re gunna come just from watching me jerk off with your blood and come? Such a good little boy for me. You’d do anything I wanted, wouldn’t you? String you up downtown and let everyone have at you? Put your pretty cock in a cage and not let you touch it for a month?”

Steve hips bucked up and Eddie stopped moving completely.

“Are you done? Did I tell you to move? I didn’t think so. You’re taking what I give you. There’s my good boy.”

Steve whined pitifully and pulled on his handcuffs again. He’d have such beautiful bruises on his wrists tomorrow and the blush when anyone pointed them out would be delicious.

“Now, where was I…” Eddie wriggled his own hips down to torture him as he fisted his dick, both of them watching his hand spread the bloody come down his length. “Oh, doing whatever I wanted to my perfect little masochist. Could carve my name into your thighs and lick the blood up.”

Steve made a shocked high pitched noise before his dick pulsed, rocking them as he rode out the aftershocks.

“My beautiful little freak. Fuck, stick out your tongue, little boy.” Eddie stripped his dick quickly, closing his eyes and throwing his head back before remembering he wanted to see his come paint Steve. “Oh shit, fuck. Just like that.”

They groaned together as his come hit Steve’s nose and tongue, settling down in his chest hair.

Eddie wiped his hands on his jeans quickly before using the key on the chain around his neck to release the handcuffs, immediately pulling Steve’s hands down and rubbing them.

“Such a good boy for me. Look at you. All fucked out and perfect,” he murmured to him, kissing across his forehead and cheeks.

As soon as Steve realized he could move his hands again, he whined and tugged at Eddie’s clothes. Desperately wanting the skin to skin that he was denied all night. Eddie chuckled and helped divest himself of the ruined jeans and band tee.

Finally on their sides chest to chest, legs tangled together, Eddie pulled him into a filthy kiss. Licking their combined come out of his mouth and fucking their tongues against each other. He kissed his come from Steve’s nose and chin. Steve’s hands roamed his back and sides, teasing across his scars and grabbing at his ass to pull him impossibly closer.

“Mmm, you’re so fuckin’ hot, Stevie. What’s the matter? You gunna come again? Still so needy?”

Steve gasped and nodded as Eddie kissed and bit down his jaw and neck.

“My insatiable little boy,” he murmured affectionately into his skin.

“Please, so empty. Need you.”

Eddie chuckled as he reached behind him to push on the base of the plug he’d teased into him earlier. “This little thing isn’t enough for you, pretty? Need something bigger? Huh?”

“Y-yes! Pleeaasseee need you to fuck me!”

“Oh, well since you asked to nicely, princess. You need me to fuck you or you wanna bounce on daddy’s dick?”

“Ohhhh fuck,” Steve moaned and his hips stuttered against Eddie’s.

“I think we found our answer,” Eddie smirked. “Go ahead then, baby.”

Steve whimpered when he pulled the plug out harder than necessary and pushed Eddie onto his back.

“Love it when you get all nonverbal and pushy, darlin’. You really need it, huh?”

They moaned together as Steve sank down on his hard cock, settling with a huff. Eddie was momentarily glad he’d teased him so long and used an excessive amount of lube earlier.

Eddie settled back into the pillows and laced his fingers together behind his head. “Mmm, look so good for me, pretty boy. All marked up and desperate. Show me how badly you want it.”

Steve rose up slowly, bracing his hands on Eddie’s chest and sinking back down with a groan. He found a slow rhythm that was driving them both insane. When he circled his hips with a gasp and threw his head back, Eddie grabbed onto his hips to thrust up into him harshly.

“Oh fuck, do that again,” Steve breathed.

They rocked together, quickly setting a new faster pace and Eddie wrapped one hand around Steve’s leaking cock and reached up with the other to grab his throat. Steve clenched his muscles around him and he squeezed around his dick to hear him whine.

“Need me to be a little meaner, baby? I know,” he cooed condescending and watched the shiver that went through him. “Little boy thought he was on top but he’s still being a brat. Guess I should’ve sliced something off of him.”

Steve tried to shake his head but Eddie tightened his grip on his neck.

“Now. Be a good boy and come.”

He bounced a couple more times before coming hard, eyes rolling back and almost collapsing on top of Eddie.

Eddie held onto his hips and thrust into his prone body until he came in his twitching ass.

After a quick shower and bedding change, Eddie let Steve flop bonelessly back onto the bed. He swiped an antiseptic across the cuts and welts on his chest. They could be as gross as they liked but he did not mess around with infections. He hummed at Steve’s little sharp inhales, they both knew he liked the sting of them afterwards.

Cleaning up quickly, he slid into bed behind him and snuggled in, pressing a kiss to his favorite spot on his shoulder.

“Happy birthday, babe.”

Inspired by February steddie microfic ‘edge’ but I knew I couldn’t do it justice with the word count. Then I found out it was someone’s birthday 😬

[acoraxia]

Stretches. Been a while since I've been here.

Anyways s4 spoilers ////

u opened my eyes.

Azure and swk

Oldest brother and youngest sibling dynamic.

Azure was the one they all looked up to as a leader. As thier leader. They saw the qualities of a leader and someone who would do right by them and take care of them. That's why they nominated him to take the jade emporers throne first.

Swk is the silly carefree guy. So full of young and happy energy. Azure saw something in him. Something great. He, as the oldest brother believes in him. And instead nominates swk to be the leader.

Oldest and youngest dynamic where the youngest just wanted to make the others proud and happy. Followed them blindly in thier pursuits and was easily persuaded by them. Not seeing any faults with overthrowing heaven. Bc swk completly believes in them all without fault.

The oldest who is so proud of the youngest and how much potential they see in them. Azure sees a sense of peace in swk. Pure happiness and joy. A care for others he believes the jade emporer lacks.

So the older brothers nudges them gently in the direction they believe is the right one because thier so proud of what they see in thier youngest sibling. So proud of what swk could become. Only for all of it to crumble.

Swk was captured. Tortured. Grew up into someone very different from the little fun loving guy he used to be.

Azure had everything taken from him. By the little brother he tried to teach and help grow into the person he knew swk could be. A true leader. Only to be "backstabbed" by that same little brother that looked up at him like he hung the damn stars in the sky.

Swk probably looked up to Azure back in the day. As a true and honorableand strong leader. Urging himself to be like that one day.

Only to end up....yeah.

ANYWAYS ALOT OF THOUGHTS PROBABLY NOTHING MAKES SENSE I NEEDSLEP BYE BROTHER

THIS IS THE SHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT HELLO.. hey.. hello

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing your sibling spiral down a path that makes you want to cry out and tell them to stop—but you can’t because they’re too out of reach by this point and all you can do is watch and see them spiral more and more out of control and it doesn’t matter if you’re the eldest/youngest anymore because it’s completely out of your control.

Sun Wukong admiring Azure and wanting to impress him; Azure adoring Sun Wukong and cheering him on as much as possible.

And then they both watch each other become the worst thing they’ve ever witness and now SWK is cracked and broken in half and Azure can’t have his little brother back because it’s impossible to do it now.

The way he gasps and looks like he’s about to cry isn’t the same way you’d cry over a lover — it’s how you look at your little brother with the realization that you failed your duties and are now forced to deal with the consequences.

Incredible.

Go sleep

[munson-blurbs]

Ghostin' (Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader): Chapter 2

Part One

Summary: Five weeks after receiving unexpected news, you still haven't spoken to any of your friends. A talk with Wayne helps you make a decision, while Steve struggles with his own guilt and the possibility that Vecna isn't quite done with him yet.

Warnings: language, S4 is canon, pregnancy

WC: 4.8k

Taglist: @kaybee87 @sidthedollface2 @chelebelletx @livsters @atombombbibunny @tattooedkiss13 @manda-panda-monium @charming-winchester @corroded-hellfire @trashmouth-richie @sweet-villain @slightlyvicked @hxllfired @yogizzz @tlclick73 @thefreakofhawkins86 @sheisjoeschateau @harrypotteranna23-blog @harringr0ve

Divider credits to @firefly-graphics

You wake up to sunlight streaming through your kitchen window, giving a groan as you wipe the sleep from your eyes and sit up; an action that is becoming more difficult with your growing bump. The TV screen is blue, and likely has been for awhile. You’ve fallen asleep watching a movie, again. At this rate, you’ll never finish St. Elmo’s Fire until after the baby comes, and then you’ll be too busy raising a kid by yourself.

As you pop the VHS out of the player, your body feels like it’s been drained of all warmth. Your plan was to watch the movie last night and return it to Family Video immediately. Some random high school kid worked there on Saturday nights, which meant you could sneak in and out without your friends getting a glimpse of your belly.

But now it’s Sunday morning. And Steve Harrington works on Sunday mornings.

Maybe I can just toss it through the doors like a Frisbee, you think wryly. In theory, you could just return it tomorrow and pay the late fee, but you can’t afford to waste money now. You bury your head in your hands with an exasperated groan. You throw on the oversized sweatshirt that best conceals the bump, though you look completely ridiculous in the mid-July heat. Your keys practically slip through your fingers, sweaty from your own body heat and nerves. 

There’s only one other person who knows your secret besides the nurse and your parents, and you find yourself driving to his place before you even realize where you’re going. 

Rapping on the door lightly in case he’s still asleep, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’re holding. Guilt gnaws at your insides; here you are, bothering someone with your own problems for the umpteenth time. 

“Hey there, darlin’.” Wayne greets you with a tired smile. “You got any more of those pictures for me?” The man, usually so stoic, was elated any time you brought new grainy ultrasound photos. 

You shake your head. “Not today, but I have an appointment in a few days.” Given the high-stress situation, your doctor had you coming in more often than the traditional expectant mother. “‘M sorry if I woke you up.”

Wayne holds the door open for you and you step inside the trailer. Each visit, it smells less and less like Eddie’s signature scent of musky cologne, stale cigarettes, and weed. “You’re never a bother. Always cheers me up to see you and my little grandbaby.” 

The first time you met Wayne, a few months into your relationship with Eddie, you were so nervous. This was the man who raised him, who took him in when no one else would, and you desperately wanted to make a good impression. You had a similar feeling now, looking anxiously at the ground while you tried to formulate a sentence.

“Could I ask you for a favor?” You’re picking at your fingernails, unable to look him in the eyes. 

“‘Course,” Wayne says softly. “What do you need?”

You hold out the VHS. “D’you think you could return this to Family Video for me today?” Your hand trembles, and considering your wrist is fully healed, it has to be due to your own anxiety. Tears prickle at your eyes. 

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne sighs, sitting on the couch and patting the spot next to him. “You still haven’t talked to your friends?” You can only manage another head shake as the teardrops fall. He pulls you in for a side hug. “You know they won’t judge you. They’ll still love you, and they will certainly love that baby.”

“That’s the thing,” you manage through heaving sobs. “I know they’ll be here for me, for us,” you amend, placing a hand on your belly, “but that’s not what I want. I don’t want to keep being everyone’s pathetic pity case.” You feel Wayne’s grizzled hand rubbing your back gently, and you start to calm down. “I don’t want to be a burden to people.”

Wayne pauses for a moment before speaking. “Did I ever tell you about the time Eddie and I had to go on food stamps?” he says finally.

You scrunch up your face. “I don’t think so.”

“It was a couple months after I got custody, and as my shit luck would have it, I lost my job. Thought we could just push through, but then I woke up one morning with no money in the bank and just a bottle of mustard in the fridge. If it was just me, I would’ve dealt with it. But now I got a ten-year-old kid; a growing boy. He’s gotta eat.

“So I bite the bullet and sign up for food stamps. I’d always promised I’d never rely on anyone else, especially the government, but there I am at the grocery store, week after week, with that booklet in hand.” 

A hint of a grin appears on his stubbled face. “I tried to hide it from Eddie, but you know how he is; can never mind his own business.” It’s not lost on you that he’s referring to his nephew in the present tense, like he’s still here. “And one day he catches me paying with stamps instead of cash, an’ he goes, ‘what’s that?’  I’m tellin’ him that I’ll explain later, but he pulls my arm down, looks, and says, ‘oh, it’s just food stamps.’ Real casual, no big deal. Meanwhile, I’m humiliated, thinkin’ I’m less of a man for not being able to provide.”

“But that’s not true,” you interject. “You did what you had to do to take care of him.”

“‘S not how I felt, though,” he counters, and you nod. “We get in my truck and I finally say to him, ‘I’m sorry we gotta use food stamps. ‘S only till I find work again.’ An’ you know what this kid says to me?”

“Mm-mm.”

“He goes, ‘Better than mustard for breakfast.’” You and Wayne both laugh at that, and soon you’re crying again, but now it’s from laughing too hard. 

“That is a classic ‘Eddie’ moment,” you giggle, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

Wayne scratches his whiskers. “Yeah, that memory always cheers me up. But that’s not why I told you.” You give him a puzzled look, and he continues. “Sometimes, we have to let people in, even if we wanna push them away. Because nine times outta ten, that fear is all in our head, and they aren’t bothered by our weaknesses at all.” His eyes are misty as he reaches for your hand. “It can be embarrassing and scary as hell to admit you need help. But trust me’,” he says, “it’s better than mustard for breakfast.”

You exhale, still feeling ambivalent about confronting Steve, but slightly less on-edge. “Thank you, Wayne,” you whisper. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re the best?”

“Jus’ you, darlin’,” he replies with a grin. “And if you and that baby of yours ever need anything else, you don’t hesitate to knock on this door.”

Taking a deep breath, you push open the door to Family Video. The bell on the door alerts Robin that there’s a customer, and she puts her book down and looks over. As soon as she sees who it is, her entire face lights up. “Y/N! You’re alive!” she cries out, nearly leaping over the counter and sprinting to you. “We were so worried!” She stops just short of you. “Wait, are you sick?”

Your brows pinch together in confusion. “No? Why?”

She points to your attire. “You’re wearing a sweatshirt and it’s, like, 90 degrees outside,” she says simply.

“Oh, yeah, no,” you rush, “it’s just, um, cold in the air conditioning?” But it comes out as more than a question, and Robin picks up on it right away.

“What’s going on?” She crosses her arms over her chest suspiciously, but quickly lets them drop. “Look, I know we didn’t know each other long before…everything…but you know you can tell me anything.”

You look around cautiously before slowly lifting your outer layer up over the gentle curve of your belly. Your shirt still covers your skin, but the bump is still prominent enough beneath it to warrant a gasp from your new friend.

“Oh, my God,” she murmurs, still unbelieving. 

“D’you wanna feel it?” you ask shyly. It’s a bit of a relief, actually; having someone else know your secret. It makes everything slightly less scary. 

Robin brings a hand to your stomach, smiling as she lightly touches it. “Oh, my God,” she repeats, blinking away tears. “Does Steve know?”

Your face blanches and you instinctively pull away. “It’s not his.” Your tone is snappy, and you feel bad as soon as you hear it. “‘M sorry, I just…”

“No, no,” Robin shakes her head. “I didn’t mean it like…” Her eyes widen when she realizes. “It’s Eddie’s.”

“Yeah,” you say, voice choked with emotion. “Yeah, it is.” You clear your throat. “And to answer your question, no; I haven’t told Steve.”

Robin bites her lower lip in contemplation. “Are you going to?” She glances towards the breakroom. “Because he’ll be coming out here in, like, five minutes.”

After your conversation with Wayne, you thought you were ready to explain everything to Steve, but now that the moment arrived, you’re suddenly unsure. “I don’t…I don’t think so.” You let your gaze drop to the tiled floor and place St. Elmo’s Fire on the counter. “I’m just gonna return this and go.” You head for the door before stopping to turn back to Robin. “Please don’t say anything to him. I’m not ready yet.”

She nods, miming zipping her lips and throwing away the key. “He won’t be mad, you know,” she tells you. “If anything, he’ll just fall even more in love with you.” She claps a palm over her mouth. “You didn’t hear that.”

But it’s too late–your head is spinning with the news. “Steve’s in love with me?” you gawp. “No, he’s in love with Nancy.”

“Was in love with Nancy, until…” she hears the breakroom doorknob rattling and shoots you a warning glance. “Incoming–I’ll explain another time.”

You exit as fast as you can, grateful you haven’t developed the infamous pregnancy waddle yet, and get into your car just as Steve walks back into the storeroom. 

“Did I just hear–” Steve questions, scanning the room. “Never mind.” He gives a little stretch and yawns. “My dreams are so realistic now; I can’t even tell what’s actually happening and what’s not.”

Robin rests her elbows on the counter, pressing her lips together like she’s physically trying to conceal your secret. “Anything good? Or just the usual nightmares?”

“What do you think?” Steve mumbles. “D’you still have them?”

“Sometimes,” Robin admits. “Not as much as in the beginning.” She twirls a piece of thread from her vest around her finger absentmindedly. “For me, it’s those damn vines. I feel them winding around my body, and I’m writhing underneath them, but when I finally break free, it…it’s too late for you and Nancy.”

Steve pauses. “Do you ever see him? Vecna, I mean? Is he there?”

“No, oddly enough. Maybe he’ll show up in future installments of ‘Recounts of Robin’s Traumatic Experiences.’” She laughs half-heartedly at her joke. “What about you?”

“Yeah,” Steve nods. “I see him. Hear the chimes, too.” The dream he just had in the breakroom was one of the most terrifying ones yet. 

He’s back in the gym at Hawkins High, shooting three-pointers, when a familiar voice calls out. 

“Hey, Steve.”

“Eddie!” Steve’s grin is so wide, it practically splits his face open. “We thought we lost you forever!”

“You know you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Eddie says, giving his signature smirk. “How’s life treatin’ you?”

Steve sighs. “Not great, dude. The town’s a mess, I have the worst dreams—“

“And you’re in love with Y/N,” Eddie cuts him off, his smile melting into a more sadistic expression. “You, Steve Harrington, want to get with my girlfriend. You selfish fucking prick.” His voice deepens, becomes sinister. “You could get any girl in this town, but you want what you can’t have; is that it?”

“N-No,” Steve stammers. “That’s not it at all.”

“I bet you wanted me to die, just so you could take her from me. That’s why you told me not to be a hero, isn’t it?” The voice coming from Eddie’s body doesn’t even resemble his anymore. “You knew if you said that, I’d take it as a challenge. Put my life at risk.” Thick, ugly vines snake around Eddie’s limbs. “Did you get everything you wanted, Steve?”

“I didn’t want you to die! I wasn’t trying to steal your girlfriend, Eddie! I swear!” 

And then Steve hears them: the demobats. They start off squawking faintly from a distance, but they get louder. No matter how fast Steve sprints, he can never outrun them. 

He shakes the memory away, tousling his hair in the process. “Sometimes, I worry that they’re not dreams,” he says softly. “Max told me that Vecna uses your biggest fears, your insecurities, and uses them to draw you in. And that’s how it is in every single nightmare I have.”

“Is it the Eddie thing?” Robin asks, her voice gentle. She knows when to poke fun at her friend, and when he needs to be taken seriously. When Steve is quiet, she gingerly places her hand on his forearm. “Steve, in these dreams, what is Vecna telling you?”

He gnaws on his lips, trying to suppress the tears that will inevitably fall. “That…that it’s my fault Eddie’s dead. That I wanted him to die so I could be with Y/N.”

“But that’s a lie. You know that’s a lie,” Robin reassures him, but it does little good. “We wanted to save everyone, including Eddie. Even if you wanted to be with Y/N then, you wouldn’t have Eddie killed over it.”

“I know; logically, I know that. But Vecna’s so convincing. He has me questioning everything.” Steve grabs a handful of Laffy Taffy from the candy counter, unwrapping a strawberry one and popping it in his mouth whole.

Robin snorts at the sight of him struggling to chew on the candy. “You know you can just, like, bite into it like a normal person?”

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Steve smiles at her genuinely–it feels so good to smile–until his face suddenly contorts in pain. “Son of a bitch!” He reaches into his mouth and pulls the chewed pink blob out, now with a shiny silver addition to it. “My filling! Dammit!”

“Guess I’m taking your shift tomorrow while you go to the dentist?” Robin says with a roll of her eyes. “What were you saying about that being fun?”

Steve takes the hand that he isn’t using to massage his jaw and flips off his friend. “Actually, yeah,” he replies sheepishly. “If you wouldn’t mind?”

Walking into Hawkins Dental, Steve is hard to miss with the bag of frozen broccoli pressed to his cheek. You’re glad you’re sitting down, because the desk hides your belly. You’re one of two receptionists at the office, and neither the dentist nor the hygienists have noticed your bump yet. For all they know, it could just be run-of-the-mill weight gain.

The bag falls from Steve’s grip when he sees it’s you behind the counter. “Y/N,” he breathes, “wh-what are you doing here?” He shakes his head. “Okay, that was a dumb question. I just meant…I miss you. Miss, um, hanging out with you.” He picks the veggies up from the floor and puts it back to his face. For a moment, when he saw you, the pain just seemed to fade away.

You nod, trying your best not to rest your hand on your stomach. It’s a newfound habit that you find yourself doing any time you get anxious; like your first instinct is to protect your baby before anything else. “You’re here to get your filling replaced?” you ask matter-of-factly, trying to keep an even tone. You shuffle around in your chair for the intake forms and hand him a clipboard. “Fill these out and bring them back here. Dr. Scrivello will be with you shortly.”

A few moments later, Steve’s back with his completed paperwork. You can hear Dr. Scrivello finishing up with his current patient, but he’s not done fast enough to prevent you having a conversation with Steve.

“How have you been?” he murmurs, scratching nervously at the granite counter. “It’s been…”

“Almost six weeks,” you answer too quickly, and your face flushes.

Steve doesn’t seem to be fazed by your quick calculation. “Too long. Especially for people who were sharing a bed.”

“How did you manage to pull out a filling?” you change the subject. “Another casualty of a Family Video candy section?”

“The Laffy Taffy got me this time.” He gives a small chuckle before wincing. “Can’t laugh; hurts too much.”

You point to the bag in his hand. “Looks like it’s your turn to use frozen vegetables to nurse your wounds.”

“Oh, shit, yeah!” Steve raises his brows. “How’s your wrist? You’re not wearing the sling anymore.”

“Doctor said I only needed it for four weeks. Just have to be careful with it.” A confession is on the tip of your tongue. You want nothing more than to spill everything and to be pulled into a Steve hug. He just makes you feel safe and warm; you haven’t felt this way since…since Eddie.

“Steven Harrington?” Dr. Scrivello calls out, and both of you look over at him. “You can come on back.” He waves him over and pushes his thick black glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Wish me luck,” Steve mumbles.

“Good luck, Steven,” you tease. But it’s you who will need luck. You just don’t know it yet.

Steve walks out of the room only twenty minutes later. The cavity wasn’t deep, so the dentist didn’t even need to use novocaine to fill it. You weren’t expecting him to be done so soon, and you’re reaching up to pull another file from the shelf. Your scrubs are riding up slightly, exposing your stomach.

“Am I good to–whoa.” Steve’s eyes are immediately drawn to your bump. “Y/N, are you–” He stops mid sentence, remembering something his mom once said about never asking a woman if she’s pregnant.

You’re flooded with a mix of emotions, primarily fear and embarrassment. Though you didn’t exactly have a plan to tell Steve your news, it certainly wasn’t like this. “I wanted to…” you start, but you can’t even manage to finish your own lie. “I’m sorry.”

Steve’s brows pinch together. “Sorry? Why?”

“Can you come back at noon?” You glance at your watch; it’s 10:30 AM now. “That’s when I take my lunch break.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” he says, unsure whether to make eye contact. “Do I have a copay?”

“Huh? Oh, no, you’re good.” You shove your hands in your pants pockets to keep Steve from seeing them trembling. “I’ll, um, see you later?”

“Yeah, later.” He can barely choke out the two words, shuffling through the door back to his car. 

You slump back into your chair. You’ve got an hour and a half, a full ninety minutes, to come up with a way to explain everything to Steve. Sure, the whole pregnancy announcement was out of the way, but now you have to tell him why you’ve been ignoring him. And the whole him being in love with you remark from Robin won’t stop replaying in your head.

The electronic hum of the bell buzzes at exactly twelve o’clock. You look up to see Steve walking through the door, carrying a giant brown bag with the Bradley’s Big Buys logo stamped on the side.

“Ready?” he asks, and you nod and place the “out to lunch” placard on the counter.

“Got yourself anything good?” You motion to the bag in his hand as the two of you walk outside. “More frozen produce for either of our various ailments?”

Steve cracks a smile; it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did this morning. “Nah, just got you a little something.” He holds it open for you to peer in. There are five jars inside, each a different type of pickle. “I heard that craving pickles is, like, super common for pregnant people,” he explains, blushing. “But I wasn’t sure what kind, so I just kinda…got them all.”

You can’t lie; a crisp, juicy pickle sounds like heaven right about now, but there’s a sinking feeling attached to the craving. “You didn’t have to do this,” you whisper.

He runs a hand through his hair, a disappointed sigh escaping his lips. “I knew I should’ve gone with ice cream, but I was afraid it would all melt.”

“No, no; ‘s not that.” Your lip quivers as you talk, finally ready to be honest. “Steve, the reason I didn’t tell you about this is because I didn’t want you to feel even more obligated to take care of me.”

You can’t miss the flustered look on his face. “Obligated? I never felt obligated to take care of you.” He places his hand over yours. “Where did you get that idea from?”

“Wasn’t anything you said or did,” you rush to explain, “‘s just hard for me to accept help from people. Makes me feel useless. Like I can’t take care of myself.”

Steve’s heart shatters at your admission. “No, God, no. I never felt that way—I never…that’s not why I stuck around.” He looks around, noticing the people passing by. “Wanna continue this in the car?” You nod and follow him to the BMW, sliding into the passenger seat. In a few more months, that might not be so easy. 

“When Eddie and I went for that walk in the woods, in the Upside Down, he asked me to take care of you if he…if he couldn’t,” Steve begins. 

“So you did this for Eddie?” Now it makes sense; there was an obligation to uphold a promise to his late friend. 

“That’s how it started, yeah. But then we started spending more time together, and I realized that…this might sound weird, but I felt peaceful with you. In a way I’ve never felt before.”

Your nose crinkles. “There are a lot of words I would use to describe the last few months, and ‘peaceful’ definitely isn’t one of them.”

“Exactly!” Steve’s burst of enthusiasm startles you. “Sorry. But that’s what’s so strange about it. Like, I should be tense all the time, and I mostly am, but being around you made me feel like things could maybe be, I dunno, normal again. Whatever that means,” he adds with a wave of his hand. 

“And I think part of it was selfish, too,” he continues. “It felt nice to be needed, instead of the one always asking for help.”

“That’s how I’ve been feeling,” you tell him, unwrapping your peanut butter sandwich and digging in. “I didn’t want to be a burden, a charity case.” 

“You’re not. I don’t see you that way; none of us do.” You assume he’s talking about Robin and the rest of the party. “For better or for worse, you’re our friend now. And friends take care of each other.” He leans down and takes a bite of your sandwich. “See? I’m hungry, and you helped me!”

You swat at him playfully. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to mess with a pregnant lady’s food? You could be taking away vital nutrients from the baby!”

Steve swallows his stolen piece of sandwich. “Speaking of which, how long have you known?”

You knew that your turn was coming, but it didn’t make things any easier. “Since I went to the hospital for my wrist. They ran a pregnancy test before they could do an x-ray, and—surprise.” You cup your small bump lovingly. 

“Is that why you asked me to leave and stopped talking to me?”

“Yeah. I felt bad enough having you take care of me. And I know you, Steve Harrington; you would’ve insisted on taking care of this kid, too.”

“Damn right I would’ve!” Steve smacks the gearshift for emphasis. “And I would’ve done it happily.” He looks at you with his big brown eyes. “I still will, if you’re okay with it.”

You drop your gaze as though you’ve developed a sudden interest in the car upholstery. It’s better than mustard for breakfast, you remind yourself. Let people help you if you need it—and you NEED it now more than ever. 

“I have a doctor’s appointment next Tuesday; just a check-up to make sure Little Bean is nice and healthy,” you say slowly. Every instinct is urging you to shut up and handle it alone, but you push them away. “My mom usually comes with me, but she can’t take off from work this time.”

Steve smiles knowingly. “I can take you. I have off on Tuesdays, so it’s perfect.”

“Thank you.” Relief flows through your body like a river, calm after a storm. You glance over at the Bradley’s bag tucked under the glove compartment. “This calls for a celebration. Put on some music, yeah?”

Steve starts the car and flips through the radio stations until the sound of Led Zeppelin pumps through the speakers. 

“Ooh, I love Black Dog!” you squeal, opening a jar of Kosher Dills and fishing one out, tapping it against the rim to avoid dripping pickle juice on yourself. You hold the jar out to Steve. “Want one?”

“Pickles with a peanut butter sandwich?” he grimaces. “I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself,” you shrug, crunching into the snack and singing along to the radio. 

Eyes that shine, burnin' red 

Dreams of you all through my head 

Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh

The sound of you singing, so carefree, fills Steve with a warmth that he hasn’t experienced since before that wretched spring break. He wants to capture the joy, both yours and his, and hold onto it forever. “You know what always annoyed me about this song?” Steve pauses before relenting and biting into a pickle. “They never even say the words ‘black dog.’” 

You bark out a laugh. “You should write to Jimmy Page and let him know. File a formal complaint.”

“Maybe I will!” Steve shoots you a kind smile. “You know, Y/N; you’re not alone. We’re all scared, trying to figure out how the hell to deal with what we went through.” He gives a sarcastic chuckle. “There’s no handbook on coping with interdimensional trauma.”

“If you find one with a chapter on being a single mom because your child’s father died in said alternate dimension, let me know,” you quip wryly.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Steve squeezes your hand. “I just know,” he tells you, a tear sliding down his cheek, “I just know Eddie would’ve been so happy to be a dad.”

You look up at him with wide, shiny eyes. “You think so?”

“Yes, absolutely,” he affirms. “He wanted the whole shebang with you–marriage, house in the suburbs, kids.” He wipes his eyes. “Eddie really fuckin’ loved you.”

You take in the information, bittersweet emotions swirling through you. You still love Eddie, love him so much it makes you physically ache, but there’s deep-rooted anger. And then the guilt of being angry at a dead man; a dead man whose baby you were carrying. It was all too much.

Twisting the lid back on the pickle jar, you clear your throat and reach for the car door. “Thank you again, Steve. For everything.” You lean over and press a soft kiss to his cheek. “You’re a great friend.”

Steve nods; the word friend is both comforting and unsettling. “Any time,” he manages. Anything for you. Anything you ever need, I’ll drop everything and come to you. No questions asked.

Tension resolved between you and him, Steve tucks himself into bed that night with a hope that he’ll have sweet dreams. He should know better by now.

It’s one of the usual nightmares, where Steve is calling out for his friends in the Upside Down, but no one is around. He’s alone, terrified, with no one to save him.

And then he hears the grandfather clock, so loud the world seems to vibrate. Clang, clang, clang, clang. But there’s something different this time. 

Steve’s blood runs cold at the sound of a fifth chime.

 –

[undescribed1mage]

breaking down my doctor who playlist by what from the show they remind me of the most <3

As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese — The Doctor & The Master, more specifically in The End of Time Part One & Two & Last Of The Time Lords. but also. just. vibes (vibes about the doctor holding the saxon master after he was shot).

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon — All of the Christmas specials but mainly, again, The End of Time part one & two. & . everything about that.

Two Birds by Regina Spektor — The Master and The Doctor, again (they're awful), but also twelve & clara with the bird symbolism and clara leaving when he tried to save her, clara being brave and letting go, and Jack & Torchwood &. everything with that (i've never seen Torchwood but I still know like. most of what happens)

Memories by Conan Gray — Martha Jones, specifically in the episodes after her season (also Jack in seasons 3 & 4). With 'It's been a couple months / that's just about enough time / for me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures / now i kinda smile / i haven't felt that in awhile'. 'You see / it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning / over and over again.'

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers — Ten's era, with different companions for different parts like — "When I get back I'll lay around / then i'll get up and lay back down / romanticize a quiet life / there's no place like my room." with Donna at the end of Journey's end, and "Out in the park we watch the sunset / talking on a rusty swing set / after awhile you got quiet / and i got mean / always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call / you come home / a bird in your teeth." (the last line specifically with the fact that Jack was Supposed to be in a good man goes to war). I also think it works very well with The End Of Time Part One & Two & just. the world almost ending at the end of s4

Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot — You know how like. every mother during the RTD (pt1) era slapped the doctor at some point? yeah. just. the doctor in reference 2 rose, martha, & donna & their mothers. as well as the doctor thinking that they're bad news which is something that comes up quite a bit with these songs.

Why Didn't You Stop Me? by Mitski — I don't really know how to explain this one it just. gives me ex-companion vibes, specifically with 'I look for a picture of you / to keep in my pocket / but i can't seem to find one / where you look how I remember'.

Long Live by Taylor Swift — In reference to a companion departure, from the Doctor's pov with 'will you take a moment? / promise me this / that you'll stand by me forever / but if, god forbid, fate should step in / and force us into a goodbye / if you have children someday / when they point to the pictures / please tell them my name.' & 'i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.' I think, if we're going for a specific companion, it's very the Doctor & Donna coded.

Walking All Day by Graham Coxon — something about how multiple companions have followed the Doctor to the end of the universe (specifically martha & jack but I think it could also work with clara) & how devoted companions are to them, especially the ones that are interested in him romantically (that one rory quote that's him talking about how the doctor makes people want to impress them).

Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives — Part of my interpretation with this when it comes to Doctor Who is how the Doctor, after losing a companion, is always 'i will never love again this is the end for me...' & then he meets the next companion & does it all over again (& in specific situations, such as Donna & Amy & Susan & Vicki, they're very similar to the person he just lost), and also how awful ten was to Martha (& Jack) & oblivious to most of it because of the loss of Rose (it's a secret i keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful / there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would've buried you if it had settled on your shoulders). The Doctor just also (as seen in the Church On Ruby Road) just thinks they're bad news in general (no comment from my end on this) &. yeah

Two paragraphs for this one! The second interpretation I have is specifically the first doctor after the loss of Susan, and how he was (for the end of their time together, which was what we saw in Susans serials) very hard on her especially for her last two serials. Also, him leaving her behind & 'so I did the only thing that I could / and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor'. I don't have a lot to say about this but. the doctor & susan make me so :(

Be Safe, Be Good (For Rachel) from Ride The Cyclone — do you ever think about how many deaths (companions or otherwise) (no spoilers please i'm on series ten for nuwho & season two (soon to be three!) of classic who so) the doctor has caused. indirectly or directly. do you ever think about clara & how her family and her students will likely never know what happened to her. do you ever think

Blue Lips by Regina Spektor — originally when i added this to the playlist (back when i was first making it, probably around me watching series five) i had intended it to be about the doctor but now i think it's more about ashildr / lady me and how much she's seen and how much she's lost. she forgets anything she hasn't written down (and rips pages of things she wants to forget out) and she's seen the world in most of it's phases, she's seen societies crumble and rise &. yeah

The Main Character by Will Wood — I have so much 2 say about this one. buckle in. i'm that first person they talk about in all the books.' him being referenced in literally the first episode of torchwood (for valid reasons he is a very important part of jacks story). & 'imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene.' cut to jacks death in everything changes. & 'I loot plot armor from NPCs / well they are to me.' again. the amount of people that have tried to help him & died. specifically one off ones. & 'Villains are everywhere / that's how I know that I'm a hero.' yhe battle of canary wharf. enough said. & 'Her majesty says the royal we demand a stander of loyalty / an agreement to be reverent / link the emperor's new boots' something about tooth & claw. + so much more that i don't feel like elaborating on rn !!!! they even mention daleks in the song <3

Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift — SARAH. JANE. SMITH. It is so her coded. The way the doctor left her, and how in School Reunion she talked about how the Doctor was her life (such a good episode btw). & . she was just waiting. for him 2 come back. & . godddd. i'd break down these lyrics too but i'd be saying the same thing (basically just what i've already said) about all of them so. just listen 2 it or look up the lyrics & you'll see.

Thinking About A Potentially Awkward Interaction With An Old Friend by Crywank — another ex-companion song !!! I don't have any in particular for this but i feel like whenever past companions return for an episode or two it's never nearly as awkward as it should've been, especially with Martha & Sarah Jane, especially how much the tenth doctor had grown (& how much Martha had grown !!!) in between s3 & s4 Alone !!!! 'Well memories sure / they're precious / that's true / but I don't want to make any new ones with you' is sooo Martha. & 'It would be nice to underline it / but i know we're both doing fine without the other in our life.' & ESPECIALLY 'yes / time away has taught me that I like this distance from you'.

River Like You by Maya Hawke — the riverdoctorjack polycule is insane. man. & this is on here for them <3 i think a lot about how jack's other male love interests at least vaguely resemble the ninth doctor in some ways, and how he & river are both immortals so they'd be the perfect people to travel with. & how the doctor tries, at times, to separate himself from both of them (much more severe with jack). 'i've loved a river like you before / i'm a river too'.

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers — Martha Jones deserves to be SO bitter about how the doctor treated her. SO bitter. 'you said when you met me you were bored.' & 'i have emotional motion sickness / i try to stay clean and live without.' & . yeah. martha jones you will always be famous. also 'and while you're bleeding on your back in the glass / i'll be glad that i made it out / & i'm sorry that it all went down like it did.' in reference to the end of time part two.

Smoke and Mirrors by Emily Rohm — certain parts of it. are kind've the like traditional backstory for a companion (with nuwho) like. 19-25 year old girl who lives with her parents & is bored of everyday life & still waiting for her life to begin & then the doctor comes along & she's swept away into time & space & now she's sosososo important !! + 'She walks alone every morning / down the same old street / and wonders how she let her days get stuck on this endless repeat / she wants that movie life / a hero comes to sweep her off her feet / they'll run away'. & there's other parts that could fit but generally. just the same idea

Black Sheep from Scott Pilgrim — 'Hello again, friend of a friend / knew you when / our common goal was waiting for the world to end / now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend / you crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again.' literally no other part of this song matters in reference to this playlist. it is just that & the fact that it reminds me of the master <3

The Lucky One by Taylor Swift — companions drive me so crazy btw. specifically companions after leaving the doctor. 'It was a few years later, I showed up here / and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out / they say you bought a bunch of land somewhere / chose the Rose Garden over Madison Square / and it took some time, but I understand it now.' with a current companion thinking about a past companion. & just. idk. something about bad wolf & the girl who walked the earth & the most important woman in all of creation & the girl who waited & the impossible girl & so on. the lucky ones.

Mr. Perfectly Fine by Taylor Swift — I've realized that from this playlist it makes me seem like a swiftie but i'm not i just enjoy some of her music & mr perfectly fine is the most tenjack coded song in all of existence. nine being at the very least interested in jack, traveling with him & flirting with him & kissing him & then ten turning around & running away from him & calling him wrong ('mr change of heart'). 'oh he's so smug / mr always wins'. 'hello / mr casually cruel'. 'always at the right place at the right time'. 'he goes about his day / forgets he ever even heard my name' . & last. but oh so definitely not least. ''cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl / i've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her / and I never got past what you put me through / but it's wonderful to see that it never phased you'. I am so emotional about doctorjack can you tell.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Covered by Annapantsu) — don't ask me why i didn't add the original version on here i just didn't feel like it. anyways. it reminds me a lot of elevens era, with a good man goes to war & rory's line about how he (the doctor) doesn't make people brave, he makes them want to impress him (SO TRUE KING !!!) & the day of the doctor. i think it could also work with the time war & eight & the war doctor (i've only listened 2 some of eighths audios, working my way through them rn). & Maybe the battle of Canary Wharf. just generally. the doctor. & war. & how he is respected. oh & also him being the PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN CRISIS ???

Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos — saw a post about this in relation 2 ninejackrose & it got me thinking. rory soldier eleven poet amy king. i think if you tried hard enough this template could fit a lpt of the tardis teams. that's all <3

Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives — the master & the doctor. again. 'on the broken backs of all the words we spared / like little soldiers in the trenches' we're gonna take the metaphors a little seriously here & i'm gonna mention how the doctor has a habit of turning companions into soldiers and fighters. & . again. he makes people want to impress him. i think the rest of the song is still very them but that's the only part that i really have anything to talk about (besides 'i swear that you loved me / i swear that i loved you).

Not Strong Enough by Boygenius — 'Always an angel, never a god / Aways an angel, never a god /Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god' is so. companions in general coded. why can't they just have a nice time :(

Nowhere Man by The Beatles — I think this may be one of the only songs on here that portrays the doctor in a semi positive light :-) !!! — oh wait nvm forgot the lyrics. sorry we're criticising the doctor again (i adore them i swear. what a guy) 'He's as blind as he can be / just sees what he wants to see' @ ten. sorry buddy. you're really being attacked in this post aren't you. 'Doesn't have a point of view / knows not where he's going to.' do you ever think about how the doctor just sort've. wanders aimlessly in between companions. like. sir how'd you end up in victorian london wearing amy's glasses. 'Nowhere man / the world is at your command.' They are PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN EMERGENCIES. UNIT why would you let them have this power.

Interplanet Janet from Schoolhouse Rock — Added as a joke . for the sillies of it <3

Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei — another Jack song (can you tell he's my favorite companion) but only like. a certain part of it (i have not listened 2 it all the way through but i heard a clip from it & went oh my god jack harkness... & here we are). 'Run for it / I'll keep 'em occupied for you / 'cause i love you / i love you so / left me hangin' at the station / but you'll be back for me soon / i'm 'bout to die / yet the only thing i'm worried about is you / something tells me you aren't coming / i guess i'm truly doomed.' it is so INSANELY PARTING OF THE WAYS CODED !!! Me when he sacrificed himself for the doctor & rose me when he was so ready to die for them. me when he woke up from DEATH to the tardis dematerializing and leaving him surrounded by dead bodies so far away from his home (which is the tardis. but yk). he was about to die and the only thing he was worried about was them. something tells him they aren't coming. he guesses he's truly doomed. j just. raigdhdjdhhdjd. he drives me crazy.

Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis — 'Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n roll band / who'll throw it all away.' so. many. fatalities, tumblr. that's all.

Oh Distant You by Wilbur Soot — okay i've already written this specific part out but tumblr deleted it when i switched from the page that i had the next songs lyrics in so i'm just gonna take a photo of the lyrics that are SO ten post rose coded & hope you read them

am i the biggest tenrose fan? no :( not on their own, at least, however i will accept that he loved & adored her. he loved her So Much. she was the first face that face saw !!!! & there are other companions that this song could work with but in my head. it's a them song. (this would probably be like. at the end of the end of time part two. him thinking about this.)

The Ballad of Lucy Gray from The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes — i've never seen the ballad of songbirds and snakes (or consumed any hungergames media) however i do think that this song is clara coded <3 i can't really explain it but. amelia pond i love you dearly. i think that specifically 'it's sooner than later that I'm six feet under / it's sooner than later that you'll be alone / so who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder? / for when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own'. her talking about how twelve needs to be on his own in face the raven. & how she needs him 2 understand that he cannot keep her from dying & that it's her time (he's already lost her at least twice, and that's just when we see her in the show). ''cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping / I am the one who knows how you were brave / and I am the one who heard what you said sleeping / i'll take that and more when I go to my grave' i think this is more twelve or ashildr about her. & how she said 'let me be brave' before she died, and how she slowly became more daring after spending time with the doctor because that's just what he does (not gonna quote rory again but. yk) & how the original clara oswald (not oswin oswald or clara oswin oswald)s first appearance in the show was her standing over her own grave !!! 'Well, all right, I'm bad, but then, you're no prize either / Al right, I'm bad, but then, that's nothing new / You say you won't love me, I won't love you neither / Just let me remind you what I am to you.' clara, you are exactly what he deserves. & vice versa. they are both so awful & it is so insane. the doctorification of clara is so much worse than the other companions.

No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo — i . cannot explain this one. it is PURE vibes.

All My Little Words by The Magnetic Fields — last song (as of rn! there may have been more added by the time you're reading this) & surprise surprise. it's a doctorjack song. 'I could make you fly away / but i could never make you stay.' imagine you're jack harkness & the man you loved (& the only other immortal you know) is REPULSED by you. he keeps running away. 'You said you were in love with me / both of us know that that's impossible' i think this is from the doctors pov. it just seems like something he'd think. 'Now that you've made me want to die / you tell me that you're unboyfriendable' the tenth doctor after flirting by asking jack if he wants 2 die & then holding the man that tortured jack in his arms as he died in a similar fashion to jacks first death (being shot in some way). his ass Is Unboyfriendable

[aphverse-confessions]

The way that ZaneChan/Zana was handled in canon is so disappointing looking back on it. Zane and KC literally only have maybe 4 significant scenes together before their kiss in the haunted house which leaves the ship feeling so rushed. Sure there's some build up during Aphmau's Year which was nice but again, it was maybe only 1 or 2 scenes. I also very much get the impression that after they kissed and got together, Jess really didn't know what else to do with them aside from having them make out constantly (which is very ooc for Zane imo) or not communicate with one another which is so frustrating to watch. And I feel they would've benefited from more scenes together before their kiss as well as after. Set up the mutual crush they could both have with small outings and them just spending time together. And once tensions begin rising in the relationship, let them actually talk it out! When push comes to shove Zane hits a breaking point and talks stuff out! And since s4 he seems way more willing to set boundaries and establish communication even with those he cares about. So why didn't he do this with KC? We don't need KC accidentally kissing Garroth to make any of that happen! (God I could write a thesis on how absolutely idiotic that writing choice was). Like it's actually so frustrating because a good relationship is right there but no we need to have more Aarmau moments bc Aarmau is our Lord and Savior apparently 😮‍💨 (and I'm mostly indifferent to Aarmau but man the fact it's literally everywhere gets on my nerves sometimes). It's just disheartening because I think aside from DanChan and some other relationships here and there, ZaneChan had the opportunity to become one of the best relationships from Jess' series. Also we never got that subplot with Ghost really resolved in a meaningful way? It was definitely in character for KC to be jealous of her flirting with Zane but why didn't we ever have a moment where she confronts Ghost and tells her to buzz off? Also,, I think it's so so icky that they made Emmalyn so obsessed with Zane enough to the point she kissed him without his consent :/ I have yet to understand why the characters continue to let Ghost hang around them when Zane has been clearly very uncomfortable around her in multiple scenes. Sorry for the essay I can get carried away lol.

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[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday! First off Hallelujah the actors strike is over. Now it’s just semantics and such before we get our ship back on our screens. Just saw the SAG board approved the deal with 86% percent in favor on Friday. All that is left is getting it ratified and an episode order. We’re on the right track I can not wait. Been too damn long since we’ve been excited about some new content.

Till then I shall continue my rewatch. Hoping to line it up ending it whenever a premiere date appears. So fingers crossed on that. Once we do have that might amp it up to 3 reviews a week instead of 2. This one is not a huge content heavy one for them. It's shorter than normal, but it is Lucy’s first ep as his aide. They’re riding back together. I love it so much. Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say. Some good moments peppered in this one. Sassy married moments we all love. Off we go.

4x04 Red Hot

We start off with our lovely duo at the end of roll call. Tim coming in hot and sassy. Calling her Gofer right off the bat. Asking if she’s ready to go? He had to know he was gonna get a sassy reply calling her that first thing. Man knows what he’s doing. Tim loves their little dance and banter. So he lights the fire and waits for the results. (Also good Tall/Smol shots here my fav.)

Lucy matching said sass with some of her own. A little flirting mixed in cause they can't help it. Not showing an ounce of fear with his 'authority' haha Tim picking up on that right away. Flirting right back saying he’s sensing a lack of fear in his authority.

Oh Timothy you lost that long ago my love. You have her utmost respect but the fear? Yeah that went bye bye some time ago heh Some pre-shift foreplay going on here. We know they’re both just excited to be riding together again. It’s all over their body language and this flirty exchange.

Her ‘Yes, sir.’ So cute basically saying for her 'You don’t scare me.' LOL Lucy's body language is everything with that flirty smile. She has no problem roasting him. Tim loves it despite the words coming out of his mouth. Sunshine x Grumpy ride again. I'm so happy for it. Missed it since 3x09 that’s a long time apart for them. We’ve had lovely moments in between but nothing better than them riding together. Plus they needed time to miss one another.

They’re so obvious together. Grey hears their exchange and is holding back a chuckle as he comes up to Tim. Wade knew long before they did...That is a fact. They continuously forget everyone can hear them. It’s so funny. Carrying on like a married couple in front of their colleagues.

Lucy and Tim end up joining Nolan on his missing wife call. (So happy they’re riding together. Making my heart happy) His call has gotten more complicated because well it’s John’s call….Nolan tells them she was drugged and the people claiming to know her we're speaking Russian. So they all go back to the house where the call originated.

No one is there when they arrive. They notice the house seems off... Like it’s staged and no one actually lives there. John noting it feels a lot smaller on the inside. Tim saying it’s like a reverse Tardis...Lucy’s reaction is so damn funny. Props to Melissa for the facial expression here. I’m dying. Tim already sensing her judgement cuts it off. She doesn’t even have to say what she’s thinking. He just knows and defends himself.

S4 is the fruit of all that rapport building. We get to see the end result constantly. Watch how close they are. That silent communication coming through, the comfortability and playfulness. Not even trying to hide it anymore. The amount of sass in Tim's reply. My god she has rubbed off on this man. I love it sfm I can’t stand it. Such flirty dorks in front of Nolan it’s the absolute best. So nice to have them together on cases again. I missed it.

They get a report the car was torched but no sign of the woman over the radio. Nolan opens the cabinet and sees an impressive setup. A panel with cyrilic buttons they can't read. Goes into contractor mode saying they have 500 MCM wires. Running 400 amp service out of this place. Lucy not knowing what that means but wanting to save face says her line above. Also knows Tim may not either so she throws him under the bus LOL

It’s so cute and cheeky. The theme of this episode for them is sass. 100%. The way Tim looks at her plus his little leg stamp. LMAO His reaction saying 'Seriously Lucy?' He’s not even mad about it so much as in awe of her being so damn fresh at this point. Doesn’t even fight her giving him shit anymore. Just accepts it. Smitten man right here. Front and center.

Nolan goes on to say a normal household doesn’t tend to go past 200. Whatever they’re powering is big because just the minimum can power a house and a/c under that. Nolan starts messing around with the panel like an idiot and trips something. Because well it's Nolan. Like an unattended child. It locks down the entire house and they pull their guns in case.

Tim’s reply is the best. ‘I don’t know what it says so I push it?’ LMAO Roasting John like a marshmallow. Sassy Tim has come out to play and I’m dying. A tv turns on showing surveillance of the entire neighborhood. John asks if human traffickers normally are this sophisticated? Tim replies no…It’s a safe house.

Lucy’s interest is piqued of course. Asking if it’s for spies? Tim gives her a small peak into his past. Which you know she will eat up like crazy. Always craving to know about it. Hell me too. Any morsel we can get from Tim’s past I’m all about. Lucy in wifey mode tries to get it out of him. The when and where? You can see the absolute curiosity all over her face. He just drops a bomb like that and expects her not to try and dig a little deeper?

Tim is classic in his reply. Saying it’s classified and that is that for his answer. I'm sure he was wanting to impress her with that reply. When really she's just annoyed at him haha Lucy’s reaction is so damn funny. She is offended he won’t just share his classified past with her in front of Nolan LOL That wifey look in the second gif. Ha. Look at them just flirting away no problem in front of John. That’s not an issue but asking about his past is. These two... Also when they talk in this scene it’s like Nolan isn’t even there. I love this about them. They only pay attention to one another when they get like this. I just love their banter. It’s fantastic.

Nolan discovers a panel after hitting another button. It leads to a whole other hidden part of the house. It’s clearly where they were torturing her. They dig a little deeper and find more surveillance camera's set up. Looks like they tried destroying everything before they took off. There is still some paper work and such lying around. Looks like they didn't get everything. Tim wants them to take pictures of everything before the feds show up. Because they’ll ice them out ASAP. I love when he’s a sexy leader directing everyone. yum. gimme.

This next section when the feds finally show up is primo. Mike Weston introduces himself and Tim knows right away he’s CIA. The feds are with him though. Reason being Weston has to work with them since he isn't allowed to work domestically. Tim has some serious smug husband energy going on in this scene. Watching his girl square off and win with this guy. Lying on his behalf it’s amazing. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass he knows her to be. Coming up with this on the fly. That UC training kicking in right here.

The immense amount of pride on his face is everything. He didn’t even have to tell her to lie she just did for him. Their silent communication once again is out of this world. He just stands there proud af. Like yeah that’s my girl. Doesn’t have to say a damn word. Knows she’s got this covered. Smugly smiling at this guy trying to get them to do their job. Knowing they secured the scene and got all the photos they needed. Part of that smugness is from knowing they’re not sharing. Lucy shutting them down completely and he just stands there happy as a clam while she handles the situation.

Lucy is bummed they’re taking over. Nolan reminds them she touched his hood. Tim says they can get a true ID. Try and solve this thing before the feds and CIA know what hit them. I love this. They get a hit in the database. She’s a Russian citizen here on a NGO visa. Tim saying it’s perfect cover for a Russian agent.

Lucy with her social media skills found her Instagram page. Linking her to an Air Force major named Lyle Marks. Who she was apparently dating. Nolan says she was probably dating him just to get to secret information. Lucy calls him a cynic heh I love it. Then says yeah that’s probably the most likely scenario…

That he works for drone command and hasn’t shown up for work today. Tim says no need to loop in Weston. If they’re onto something good he will find them. They show up to Mark's house and find him tortured and killed. Weston of course shows up right after they find his body. Just like Tim said. He’s so smart. Beauty and Brains.

The fact that a soldier was killed this can’t be contained any longer. Weston realizes he’s going to need their help. Especially since this is on US soil. He brings them back to his fancy spy van. So they can have a private conversation protected. Tim gets right down to business. Asking what they know about Katerina? Mike tells them they believe her to be a FSB case officer. Just like Tim said earlier. Sexy how smart he is. Intelligence is attractive af.

Apparently she went rogue during her mission. She was supposed to be recruiting intelligence assets for Russia. It’s why those two guys came into the country after her. Rather her die than be in the hands of the CIA after she escaped. Tim asks if they knew about the relationship with officer Marks? Weston replies no or they would’ve stepped in weeks ago.

Also let’s note the lack of space with them in this scene. The Grand Canyon between John and Tim. The smallest sliver between Tim and Lucy. Another theme of this season. Personal Space? Never heard of her…

This next part is more of that proud/smug hubby energy from Tim. The way she dismantles Mike is glorious. Trying to say she’s naive and espionage isn’t a romance novel. She crushes him with some solid ass logic. Lucy owns this guy not once but twice in the same day. Lucy came to play and it's so fun to watch her confidence. The way she handles herself now. So self-assured it's just as glorious to watch as Tim's growth.

I love the look on Tim’s face. (also him licking his lips I see that tongue sir. Mmm.) His reaction is 'Wifey is right and you are dead to rights sir.' He couldn’t be prouder of her confidence with this man. Held her own from the jump. The growth here is amazing. Lucy just confidently owning her moments. Tim backing her without a second of hesitation. True partners. Nolan gives a 'Told you so' look too but it’s not as important as Tim’s LOL Weston concedes and says she has a fair point…

That being said Mike said he’s read her file. That isn’t the type of person she is. They ask why she was dating Marks then? Weston says he ran the entire west coast drone command. That he had the keys to the entire program. Tim then poses if she wasn’t stealing secrets or planning to defect then what’s her play? Mike says doesn’t know..and that scares the hell out of him

That’s their last scene together for the ep sadly. We find out with just John and Bailey she killed Marks. He issued a drone strike that killed her brother. The flash drive Nolan finds in his shop is what she wants. She wants to kill everyone else on the list of the mission. Sadly Lucy’s love theory is kaput after that haha That's all she wrote for this one. Short but sweet one for them.

Side notes-non chenford

I love Lucy reaching out to Aaron to be his support through training. He fights her at first then gives in and calls her when he has bad experience with an old friend. Aaron does stick his foot in his mouth about Jackson. Poor Lucy still hurts her talk about him.

Then they bond over it. He talks about Patrick and says it still gets him too. How it sneaks up on you. You could be having normal day and something triggers it. Aaron tells her it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Love this friendship being built.

Thanks as always to those who read these reviews and show your support through likes, comments and reblogs. It’s my fuel haha so thank you. Shall see you all in 4x05