#the most annoying part is that aside from that i feel fine. subconscious problems are always the hardest

[arrgh-even-more-whatever]

the day I'll sleep at least six hours I'll throw a celebration. slept for two hours yesterday and for four hours the day before that, thought it means that today my brain will finally shut down. nothing. couldn't fall asleep at all and only got a migraine

[ourkarlanicoleuniverse]

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 15

Warnings: Implied nsfw

Shouta Aizawa x OC (Mai Montoya, Pro Hero Zion)

If you want to read the events before this chapter here is the Master List 😊  

I wish I could say that was the only call I got from Gemini. But then I would be lying, and I hate lying. He started harassing me during random hours of the day; I felt dirty and disgusted with myself that I could let him get to me. Luckily, Nezu said that he’d get me a new number soon, so hopefully, that will be the end of it.

“Ashido, be professional and respectful. It’s ‘Yes, sir.’ I hope you don’t act like that during your internship,” Aizawa chastised poor Mina because she was happily cheering about the work-study about to start.

“Yes, sir.” She pouted and muttered in response.

I smiled and spoke up, “Remember now, everyone, I will be in contact with all the pros and agencies you are working with, so I will be aware of any problems or concerns that occur during the week. I will also be on-call anytime you need me. I will also be letting Eraserhead know about any concerns from your internships so we could work on different learning plans for when you come back.”

All of the students nodded and gave understanding smiles, well, except for grumpy Bakugo and stoic Todoroki, but it’s to be expected. The only other person who wasn’t as excited as everyone else was Iida, but I was already well aware of why. I didn’t have time to talk to Aizawa about Iida’s decision and how we should’ve encouraged him to take another hero. Luckily Manual will be able to keep Iida on track with his internship. I trust the hero is capable of doing that.

We bid our goodbyes to our students and wished them luck on their internships. Aizawa let out a sigh, “Finally, will have some peace and quiet.”

I turned to my left and looked up at him, “Hmm? Oh, yeah, I guess.” I lightly chuckled.

“You think they’re going to get into problems while they’re gone?”

“Is it even a question? I literally had Vlad set up a date on the last day before they all come back just to avoid having any interruptions.”

“Hmmm.” He started walking away towards the exit of the station, leaving me to follow behind. “So you and him are really something? I kind of expected it, but it feels off. I don’t know why.”

“Probably because of the size difference. The man is built like a tank while I’m just small and slightly tubby since I haven’t been doing hero work in a while.” I shrugged.

“I would say more because of the personalities, but I can’t really say anything. I hang out with Mic.” He took a small pause, “You seem physically fine to me. You were always a little curvier than most people.” I raised my eyebrow at him, “It’s an observation I’ve made knowing you. I wasn’t trying to be inappropriate.”

I squinted my eyes at him, suspiciously, “Right… Anyhoo, Vlad, and I are getting along well, just been busy with the students. Luckily after the summer, Lily takes over Class 1-B again so that I won’t be as busy. Not that I didn’t mind helping her out.”

“You didn’t need to be with Vlad dropping off his students here?” Aizawa looked down at me as we continued walking.

I shook my head, “He said that it was fine that I didn’t. He also made a comment about you needing the extra help, but I defended our class, and you so don’t worry about it.”

“I wasn’t, but thanks, I guess.” His response was short and a little tensed as if he was uncomfortable.

“Shota, are you okay?” I went to grab his arm to pull him in my direction to see his face.

He just gave me a confused and slightly offended expression, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Face it, you guys still have feelings for each other…

I always felt you guys were the closest thing to soulmates…

I shook my head and let go of his arm as Mic’s words rang through my memory, “Nothing, just felt that something was off.”

“Well, I am fine. You got nothing to worry about.” Somehow I felt it was a lie, but I have no right to pry or anything, so I neglected to ask.

The week went by smoothly for the most part, which made me nervous. It’s just not in my students' nature to be so well behaved or have nothing happen. I had my fingers nervously tapping on the dinner table, anxiously waiting for some sort of update from one of my students. Not even Gran Torino was sending me anything about Midoriya, and I needed to update Toshinori about it. Iida and Manual said everything was running smoothly, which put me at some ease, but I still didn’t trust it. I mean, Iida is working in Hosu, where the Hero Killer Stain attacked his brother. He can’t just be okay… especially when seeing how so many people liked his ideologies.

I felt a large hand clasp over mine, and I looked up, meeting the ruby colored eyes, “You know if no one is contacting you is because everything is okay. It’s the last day. You literally have nothing to worry about, sweetheart.” Vlad held my hand and rubbed his thumb on the back of mine, reassuring me that everything was okay.

“I know, I just can’t help it.” I returned his affection by grabbing both of his hands and squeezed them before going back to eating. Trying to make sure to keep my mind off work and focus on the man before me.

After some light talking and dessert, Vlad decided to walk me home. It felt pretty nice not to worry over my kids, the city light cascading in the sky, giving a romantic feel to the night. It would fit for it, but I couldn’t get into the romantic mood for some reason. My mind was still subconsciously thinking about the students, like this sixth sense telling me I should check in on everyone.

“Mai?” Vlad tightened his grip around my shoulder, “You okay? You seem to be spacing out again.”

I chuckled, “Sorry, I just got lost in thought while looking around the city.” I sank into his side, “It’s really nice out tonight.”

Vlad hummed as we continued to walk back to my place. Once we made it to my door, it was like traveling back to when we were outside of Aizawa’s. The blood-red eyes twinkling, the closeness, the shallow breaths, the only difference this time was he leaned in for a kiss on my lips instead of my cheek like last time. His lips on mine tingled, but I couldn’t tell if it was because of the feeling of being kissed or because of the feeling of having Vlad kissing me. Either way, I returned it because I was tempted to feel more of that tingling feeling. I couldn’t tell how long we were connected like this, but eventually, Vlad broke away to catch a breath. He and I were breathless and staring at each other, dreaminess clouding his eyes, my eyelids fluttering between closing and opening.

I gulped and awkwardly looked between his eyes and his lips, “Do you want to come inside?” I met with a smile and was immediately pulled into an embrace as I opened the door.

We didn’t even bother to turn the lights on. We just stumbled into my room as we kissed and roamed our hands all over each other. Clothing was slowly left behind before we even made it to my bedroom door. It was quick and passionate. Almost animalistic.

Vlad paused to look at me if only to see what he was seeing. I must’ve looked like a mess right now. He laid me down slowly as he hovered me making his way from my lips to my neck. I closed my eyes instinctively, enjoying the feeling of having someone worshipping my body.

I was at least enjoying it while it lasted. By the time Vlad got any chance to go lower, my phone had rung. He briefly paused and looked up at me, “Do you want me to stop so you can get that?”

I groaned, “No, it’s probably not important. They could just leave me a message.” My mind went straight into thinking it was Gemini calling to bother me again, but I immediately pushed past it because I didn’t want him ruining the mood. Vlad continued kissing down my stomach when my phone rang out again… I swear I thought I had it on silent this whole date. I gently moved him aside and went over to grab my phone from the floor of my room. The name blasted on my phone made my heart drop in fear.

Incoming call from Gran Torino.

Shit.

I moved back to the bed and mouthed a sorry to Vlad as I answered the phone, “Hello?”

“Where were you? I called, and you didn’t answer!” The grumpy older man frantically chastised me.

I looked over my shoulder awkwardly, not really wanting to say what I was doing, “I was busy with something. I couldn’t really grab my phone right away.” There was no response. I can just feel the impatience soothing in the tiny man. “Can you just tell me what happened with my student already?”

“Students. Don’t worry, the three boys are fine. I also called Eraser to come check in on them before I called you. They had a run-in with the Hero Killer Stain.” My hand gripped my phone tighter. God, I knew there was a reason why I was so worried. “They’re in the Hosu hospital. I think Eraser might be on his way over right now, so I would head over here too.”

“Right, I’ll get there as soon as I can. I have to check the train schedule.” Gran Torino said goodbye and hung up the phone. I immediately rubbed my face in frustration and sudden fatigue. “I have to go to Hosu. Three of my students got injured, so I have to go on behalf of their parents.”

Vlad went to sit next to me and rubbed my back, “That’s fine. Do you need someone to go with you?”

I got up to quickly change into some comfortable running pants and a grey sweatshirt. Making a note to grab my glasses before running blindly into the city. “No, Gran Torino is there, meaning probably the other two pros that took in the other students are there too. Plus, Eraserhead was also notified.” I smiled at him while pulling my hair back, quickly moving over to kiss him, “I’m sorry that our date cut short.”

Vlad caressed my arm and gave me the same dreamy look in his eyes, “It wasn’t the date that was cut short. But you do not need to apologize.”

I gave an exaggerated annoyed face as a joke, “Stop being so understanding. It makes me feel bad for leaving.”

He leaned in for another kiss, “Sorry, can’t help it. You might want to fix your makeup before going over to Hosu though, I kind of ruined it.” He chuckled sheepishly as he got up from my bed and started walking over to grab his clothes. “You could always make it up to me later.” He gave a sneaky smirk that I couldn’t help but laugh at. It was too cute.

I rushed my way to the hospital entrance and was met with Gran Torino and Manual, along with a person with a dog quirk. He raised his hand to introduce himself, “Hello. You must be Ms. Montoya, Gran Torino, and Manual mentioned you would be meeting us. I am Chief Tsuragamae of the Hosu Police Department.”

“Chief? It is nice to meet you, sir, but if you don’t mind me asking, why are you here? Shouldn’t it just be a normal officer meeting with the students?” I swear, if my students got into some kind of trouble on purpose, I would bite their heads off.

“Ah yes, I told Gran Torino to not mention anything over the phone. Here let’s get you up to speed on the way to the students.” He hovered his hand over the small of my back and guided me to the hospital room.

Gran Torino trotted along by my right and poked me with his cane, “You could’ve worn something more professional, your meeting the chief.”

“Well, if you mentioned something, I would’ve taken more liberty to take my time getting ready even though my students are in the hospital,” I said through my teeth.

“Don’t worry, miss. It just shows your dedication to your students. I am very sorry to have bothered you.” The chief interjected.

“So, what happened? How did they come into contact with Stain?” I asked the men surrounding me.

“It was my fault, really. Iida and I were around the area, so Iida intervened to help the pro hero Native.” Manual confessed.

“Then Midoriya and I also ended up in the area, and he heard that his friend needed help, despite telling him not to go because Nomus broke out in the city, so we needed all hands on deck for it.” Gran Torino continued.

“And then the same with Shoto Todoroki, he went to assist the two boys as well. And as you may well know, doing hero work without permission or a license is considered vigilante work.” The chief started.

“And vigilante work is illegal…” I groaned and facepalmed. “I promise you, Chief Tsuragamae, Eraserhead, and I have instilled in our students that they must follow orders from their internship teachers and that going out of bounds is wrong and could get them in serious trouble. So this was just probably a huge misunderstanding.” We made it to the door of the room the boys were held in, and the chief opened it. Immediately my students zeroed in on me with a knowing look that they were in trouble. “I am going to try and be calm but stern with you three because you are injured, and I feel bad. But just know I am fuming.”

The chief patted my shoulder before speaking with the boys. Luckily none of them were in real trouble. The chief didn’t want it to go out that the students were the ones fighting Stain for all of the controversies it will bring. So instead, he decided to give all the credit to Endeavor, much to mine and Todoroki’s dislike, but it’s better than having my three students in prison for vigilante work. Gran Torino and Manual’s teaching licenses were suspended, so they couldn’t be allowed to take on any students for a while. As for the boys, they will have to stay in the hospital for a while until they fully heal, and any punishment that the school, a.k.a Aizawa and I want to give them, will be waiting for them when they come back to school. Once the pros and the chief left, they told me to go ahead and talk with the boys privately without them. All the boys looked glum.

“Okay, maybe I won’t lecture you after all. I just want you to be honest with me on how this all happened, and we’ll call it a day.” I went to sit down next to Iida, and Todoroki and Midoriya followed.

“I let my anger get the best of me. I went to Hosu with the intent to get rid of Stain… I shouldn’t have had that as my intention if I want to be a hero like my brother.” Iida looked down at his broken arm, “Now I might have the chance to never have the ability in my arm again. And to top it all off, I got my peers into trouble. What kind of class president does that?”

I sighed and put my hand on his head, and looked at the other boys. Maybe I should probably mention what led to my suspension to them. “Alright, I can’t be self-righteous and tell you guys that it's wrong and you should never do what you did. Which you shouldn’t since you have no license, but sometimes, there are times where you might cross the line and will have consequences despite having a license to do your job.”

The boys looked at me confused; Midoriya spoke up, “What are you talking about, Ms. Montoya?”

“I think I should tell you three about what I did to lose my license.” I gave them a warm, reassuring smile.

————————————

Tag list:

@multifandoms916 @inumorph @thatgirlwithcamera @mel-sanch

[myukulelegentlyweeps]

Nowhere Man - Part III

A/n : Okay so I guess you could say in comparison with what I’ve written so far this is pretty angsty? I struggle with anxiety, and I thought it would be nice to write about how George would handle it and be all sweet about it so here it is. If you don’t like angsty stuff / you find descriptions of panic attacks triggering, you can just skip right along to the next part. Don’t worry, all in all it's pretty fluffy anyway

Warnings : Descriptions of anxiety, of a panic attack

Word count : 1455

SPECIAL THANKS TO @1968georgeharrison who beta-read and helped with the editing (also she has an amazing url, 1968 George is one of my favourite Georges ; go follow her, her blog is great)

“Mary, I’m going now!”, hand on the doorknob, you made one last call to your roommate, who was sitting in your living room flipping through the pages of a magazine - the cover read, amongst other things, a small title in red letters, “Beatles to break up soon?”, which saddened you in spite of yourself. They were half the world population’s favourite band - that included you - and it was not going to be easy to let go of these years of charisma and great music. The four lads had practically defined an era and Lord knows it’s hard for people to move on ; if any of them tried to carry on with a solo career, it was safe to say the “Beatle” title would follow them around.

It was not only the press’ suppositions. George himself had told you about Paul’s desperate efforts to delay the inevitable, which was ultimately making into more of a bossy asshole than anything. What had once been The Great Beatles was now falling apart into a strange combo of four tired men being passive-aggressive toward each other as Yoko waltzed around the studio eating his biscuits. George was very fussy about his biscuits. All jokes aside, you saw how tense and irritable he was when he left the sessions, and for that a part of you was hoping Let It Be would be their last album. You cared about him too much to watch him suffer in this manner.

“Off to see loverboy then?”, she looked up from her reading, an obvious smirk painted across her face as she continued : “Don’t forget what I -” “I know, I know, get an autograph for your little sister whose birthday is coming up.” you cut in mid-sentence. “She’s cute and I’ll do what I can. But you’ll owe me big time, you’re putting me in a very awkward position here.” Usually people do not have to ask their friend/love interest for an autograph. It did not help that you were already somewhat nervous about meeting him that afternoon. You were unsure where the two of you stood : you had not seen each other since the night of the kiss and, though said kiss had meant the world to you, you could not just assume it was the case for him. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

You closed the door behind you and made your way down the staircase, taking deep breaths as you felt the anxiety beginning to rise in your throat. It saddened you - normally the perspective of seeing George made you happy, cheerful, bouncy even. Why did your brain do this to you? Once you had exited your building you started pacing hastily, eyes fixed on the sidewalk, trying to keep your vision from blurring. Maybe the nerves would fade once you got there.

They did not. In fact, they got worse. It was not so much George himself, whom you had greeted with an awkward ‘I don’t know whether we are friends or something more’ hug - he was smiling at you and being kind as always. But you wondered over and over again, Should I ask him for the autograph now? Should I wait a little? What will he think of me, he’ll get annoyed… and once your anxiety had been triggered, you knew your chances of calming down completely were slim. The coffee shop seemed to be louder than ever before. You were hyper-aware of every small noise, a customer speaking, a machine’s whistle, a teaspoon stirring sugar into a warm drink, and this diabolical orchestra of overlapping instruments played in your head like a class of kindergartners trying to decide on who gets to play with the all-favourite toy.

“Are you alright there (y/n)? Y’look a bit pale.”, he placed his hand on your upper arm, a mix of doubt and worry in his brown eyes, sensing your distress. “I’m fine…”, you said weakly. Your eyes shifted back to the queue in front of you : it suddenly appeared immense, as if the counter were miles away. Your heart pounded in your chest at a speed that almost scared you. You knew what you had to do, you knew what the healthy thing to do was. But could you tell him? So early on, you barely knew him, what would he think? Would it be oversharing? Would he judge you? What if he didn’t understand and- “(y/n). You’re shivering. Are you sure yer okay?”, his voice echoed once again in your ears, half-mixing with the rest of the cacophony. The wave emerged from the darkest depths of your head and you realised it too late to be able to stop it in time : tears started streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably. Of course your anxiety only increased, as it was the first time you were crying in front of him and your brain tortured you with assumptions about his opinion of you. He hates me now. I’ve ruined everything. Not that he ever liked me anyway, he just pitied me ; how did I ever think I could be good enough for him, a Beatle, for heaven’s sake… Your ears had now been completely detached of the coffee shop and were filled to the brim with your accelerated breaths. Seeing yourself shake only frightened you more ; you closed your eyes to shut every possible further trigger out.

While your panic unravelled, George stood next to you ; very concerned at first, he then seemed to realise something and his expression shifted slightly. He knew what this was. A friend of his suffered from anxiety, and he had been there during two of his panic attacks. Of course he was no expert, but at least he knew something about how he could help. He remembered his friend telling him that any additional stimuli during a panic attack, when the person is at her most fragile and vulnerable, was to be avoided ; he also understood, however, that he needed to get you out of the coffee shop before you could begin to calm down. He supposed touching you counted as a stimulus, but he could not think of another way : he reached to gently grasp your hand and led you outside without a word. You followed him almost subconsciously, too overwhelmed to comprehend what he was doing. Once you were out on the sidewalk and two cars drove by at full speed, he figured the city streets were not the ideal setting and, after a few seconds of hesitation, guided you toward the zebra crossing, still holding your hand.

Soon enough, you reached a bench in a very peaceful Hyde Park, where London’s busy streets felt like a bad dream you had finally woken up from. You hastily dried your eyes with the back of your sleeve, feeling significantly better - your breathing, at least, had slowed down. But your brain was still rushing and, according to it, the worst was yet to come. You would have to explain what happened to somebody you cared deeply about, whose judgement you feared above all others. You were trying to delay it by staring at your feet intently, but eventual confrontation of the problem was inevitable.

George was the first to break the silence : “Are you better, love?”. You nodded slowly in response, trying to work out an acceptable string of words of reassurance in your head. “I’m so sorry, George, I...I just…” Happy to hear your voice again, he gave you a small smile. “It’s okay (y/n), really, you don’t have to explain or justify anything.” “But I do.”, you replied with a slightly shaky voice. “No, you really don’t. I know what it is, a friend of mine ’s’got it too. That’s why I brought you to the park, thought it might help to get you away from the sensory overload of the city. Plus it doesn’t even matter what it is, I’m just glad you’re okay now.” After a short silence, he grinned mischievously and added : “Does it count as overstimulation if I kiss you?” Still a bit shaken, you nevertheless decided to go along with the attempt to lighten the mood. “I don’t know...I’d have to get back to you on that, but trying it is the only way to know, innit?” His smile widened and your lips joined into a sweet kiss which gave you the wonderful feeling of butterflies in your stomach, just like the first time. Which reminded you :

“George, I’m sorry to say this now, I guess it isn’t the best time but I have to know...What are we?”

“Well, again, I don’t know if it counts as overstimulation ; but I would love to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

[losing-my-will]

Unspoken

Words: 3.786

Explicit/Mature

Warning: Menstruation talk.

A/N: I’ve created this monstrosity back in June whilst I was in the middle of one of my worst cramps. I don’t know why but it simply came to my mind. This drabble/one-shot heavily mentions menstruation; so! If you’re not comfortable with this topic I advise you to back off.  No smut, I’m not ready to write that stuff (even if I consumed it like crack) *I also want to believe that woman’s bleedings was treated as a taboo back in Berk*.

I want to apologize every mistake (grammatically) that you might find in this… thing. And keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue *laughs nervously*

Takes place in Rtte.  

Summary: She felt as her womb punches itself and her insides ripple apart, she senses the sick nausea, and the spinning surroundings. And through the suffering, she mutters her prays: “Thor finish this Hel!”

Indeed, he sends help.

 .

.

A bad odor wakes him up; raw fish flesh with a mix of chicken floods his nasals. Confusion crawl on his mind when, once again, the warm breath hit his face, sending the reek of animal’s guts. Though not the worst of the smells, if is compared with the inners of a yak, is not anybody likely first choice for a good-morning-slash-welcome-to-your-nose. True is the repugnance stirred him, and so he completely sat up on the wooden mattress.

The boy’s eyelids slide open and soon his whole vision field came occupied by a blue, scaly head, “Stormfly?” He greeted happy and confused at the same time, “What brought you here, girl? Everything okay?” he petted her snout looking for answers on those pair of anxious, yellows eyes.  

The dragon squeaked, and the boy soon recognizes; it wasn’t a good replied. His current visit started trotting around his room, like she was impatient.

“Is it Toothless?” Eyeing up his fellow friend to make sure he was there, he was; asleep on his rock, not affected by the tumultuousness. Confusion strikes again.

“No…?” the boy continue without understand the eagerness in Stormfly’s behavior.  There was only one answer left, but he doesn’t want to ponder in worry too much.

“Is it… is it Astrid?” He asks carefully. There’s no other reason her dragon would be in his hut. Astrid could have sent Stormfly to search him, like he did countless time with Toothless. Maybe she was stuck in a little trouble. He asks to the dragon, but the creature squeaked again with the same tone. “Stormy… does Astrid has a problem?” He insists.  

She cranes her neck to one side to another whilst stretching her wings, appearing done with his questions. This causes a sleepy Toothless growl in his sleep.

“Okay, okay. I got it. Take me to her.” As soon the words leave him, the dragon wrapped his slim arms with her talons. She takes a leapt and in no minute both were in the entrance of Astrid’s hut. Hiccup is still proud for this subconscious decision. Yes, he had his feelings for her well accepted and well evolved, but when he came to organized Dragon’s Edge, a tingling, distant voice on the back of his mind told him to put Astrid as close to him he could. And he obeyed, leaving it as a normal thing, she was after all his most trusty friend (alongside Toothless) she came as his natural second choice for an advice or simply company. Astrid was and will always be his second-in-command.    

So when the seriousness of this situation finally hit on him, his heart swells and in his stomach placed a sentiment of unease.

He hurried to the open door and hastily runs inside; all other thoughts disappeared except for the one and only coherent one yelling at him for a blonde with sapphire eyes.

“Astrid!” no replied… but whines, “Astrid?” he tries again.

In the heavy silence of the cold hut he distinguish vaguely, if his thoughts could shut up, feminine breathy moans. Hiccup blushes in an instant, “Ahh, Stormfly… why-why did you… brought me here?” The Nadder pushes him to keep going, but the boy was reluctant, “N-no. Girl, A-Astrid has no problem…. I think”

The dragon ignored him once again a proceeded on her insistence. Hiccup could only hold his breath.

‘Fine’

Hiccup conjured all kinds of Vikings songs to block the enticing noises coming from the illuminated loft, concentrate in their words and rhythm so he could hums them to himself while climbing the ladder.

The way up felt like an eternity, but he finally makes it. The sounds didn’t stopped though, so when Hiccup finished with the last steps and planted his metal food on the floor the auburn haired man covered his eyes in a swift move.

“Hiccup!” the maiden-shield shrieked.

“A-Astrid! I’m so sorry, so sorry, forgive me please. Don’t cut any part of my being! I already lost a foot. Stormfly practically kidnapped me and brought me here. I swear to all the gods I didn’t want to interrupt you!” the poor boy stammered like never before, flustered and ashamed and honestly scared to shit, it was just yesterday when he gladly sharpened Astrid’s axe.

It was long moment before any of the young adults said something, not even the crickets were heard. Then a rare bravery came to Hiccup, a boldness that for sure would sign the future of his maleness.

… Or so he thought.

He carefully unwrapped his palms away from his face, but before taken a few steps back just to be sure.  

The sight was… unbelievable.

Astrid Hofferson, best warrior of Berk, ideal shield-maiden with an aim flawless like any adult. Childhood crush and his second-hand. Stood in the middle of her loft on wobbly legs, with a shame imprinted across her beautiful face and her puffy, red eyes. Her hands cupped her crotch with a fierce grasp and… and her bare thighs were smeared in blood.  Thick, crimson blood; all way down to her glued knees. She wasn’t wearing her leggings nor her skirt. The clothes were thrown at the bottom of her bed aside with her metal shoulder pads that leave her only with her blue vest and nothing more, none wrist-covers to make her feel less naked.

“Hiccup” she whispers, a sob manages to escape mingled with her pleads. “Get out” she commands, but no authority stands with it. Another sob build up on her throat and the boy was motionless as a rock, “Hiccup, I said get the fuck off”

“Astrid-”

The girl seems like she find her strength within the mess her mind was at the moment, “What the fuck you’re doing here?”

“Storm-”

“Yes, I know! I heard you the first time”

“Please-” but he was interrupted again.

“Why are you still here?” she barks the question, expecting a quick answer so she could reach her axe and chop his head off. Tears sprinted out and furiously streamed down her flushed cheeks.

“You need help” was his last statement.

“I don’t need the help of anybody” she retorts with an angriness capable to make Stoick the Vast shiver.

With great courage, the Viking boy took two steps close to the young girl, “I heard you”

“Yeah? So your nosy being decided to come up as an intruder?! I’ve been dealing with this since I was twelve. Get out!”

Hiccup ignored all what she was saying, “No”

“Hicc-” she meant to scream at the annoying, stubborn handsome man who; with all good intentions wanted to help her- that she was fine and he could fuck himself. However, her body saw appropriated to contradict her words and make her bend over her belly, “Shit!” she screeches.

“Astrid!” he caught her before the shield maiden could land on her face, “See!” it was his turn to yell at her, “You’re not okay! Quit that attitude of toughness! And accept me!” thank to all the Gods above none of the two have the chance to see the double meaning his words could signify.  

“I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s never this bad-” another rush of pain cut off her apolitically sentence, the agonic yelp tore his heart.  

“This’s not the first time?” Hiccup asks with widen eyes. ‘How many times?’

Astrid shakes her head, “Mmf! N-no!” she struggles to say. Hiccup doesn’t need her to talk if she’s apparently suffering this much.

“It’s okay! It’s okay. Don’t speak, you shouldn’t-”

Nonetheless, the Viking girl was thick in the head just like every proud Viking, “Bath! I need a bath! Please Hiccup” The boy nods. In hope she’s not going to gash his limbs later, he picks her up with one arm holding her back and the other hooked under her knees.

“Astrid, cling your arms around my neck” he softly suggested.

“No” at the mention of such –very scandalous- idea, the shield-maiden spin her head towards him, horror clear as water in the blue of her eyes.

Hiccup tries with a reassuring smile whilst he explains, “Astrid, is for the better”

“How?”

“You’re uncomfortable in this position, you’ll not if you do what I tell you” Is not like he desires to see there like a lecherous creep, though probably that’s exactly what Astrid’s thinking.

“You know nothing” she claims.

“My lady, do you trust me?” Emerald locks with sapphire, sincerity pours over the two Vikings. Of course she trusts him, as much as he does on her. They rely in each other. They’d knowledge for a long time ago that, in the future- they’ll be connected in a level of intimacy above the current. But not yet. And Astrid was afraid of showing that vulnerability, or in general.

“Astrid…” the girl knew she had to do a decision, he was here to offer a hand, and she was more than aware that Hiccup wouldn’t harm her, nor physically or in the emotional ambit. Hiccup wouldn’t take an advantage not even if he were drunk. This bareness and taking-care matter was just for this one night. Just for tonight.

“Okay” she mutters.  

She slowly raises the only hand that protects her intimacy, revealing the source of the red patches now dried on the smooth skin. Her fingertips were too stained with the curious smelly blood.

“My Lady, don’t cry” Hiccup swept away the lonely tear running down with his thumb. Continuing as he wraps a blond lock and twirls it with his pinky; at the corny action Astrid can only giggle.

The first months on the Edge, the group and their dragons found a refreshing spring within the forest of the island, surrounded with big rocks and thick bush to give a better privacy to whoever ever comes there and takes a bath. It was like that for maybe the first six months, with the idea that winter didn’t hit strong in that zone; inside baths weren’t planned. And then the seven month came, they were surprised when a blizzard arrived full force; a unique in their kind.  

Hiccup instantly started the additional construction in all the huts. The first he made was for Astrid (for birthday occasion) a secret gift well hidden under the circumstances. “Hiccup, down the hall, left” Astrid guides. He knows where it is.

They stride down the ladder, with restless thoughts if this was a fantasy, if the Gods were just playing with them out of boredom. Stormfly was behind them, prepared for any duty she’ll be ordered to do. “Sit me on stool” Astrid says sweetly, “the buckets are under that table, they’re already filled with water” The boy smiles, she was responsible as ever. Every rider has to fill their buckets every night, so they’d have water equipped in any case during midnight. Astrid, Fishlegs and he were, as expected, the only ones who remembered.  

In the next minutes, Hiccup rolled up sleeves and started his task in prepare the bath following Astrid’s instructions. The Viking boy gush two water buckets onto the tiny wooden tub, and asked nicely to the blue dragon to light up a small flame underneath. Astrid sighs once she sees steam coming out.

“I think is ready” Hiccup proclaims when he takes out the middle finger he sank previously, confirming the water was heated enough not to burn her skin.  

“Good” she grins excited, desperate to disappear in the warmth of the object-of-her-relieves, though faltered when she felt a spurt. Astrid chewed her bottom lip to calm herself when anew tears treated to dart.

He notice her stiffness; “Astrid, It’s okay” He simpered.

“Hiccup- you know nothing” the shield-maiden gives up. For some reason Hiccup flinches at the disappointed tone in her voice.

“Not if you don’t explain me”

But Astrid clamped shut her lips, not wanting to slip any information. She resolute her inner angst and with a tired sigh rose from the chair, her hands were back to her loins.

“Wanna help?”

She shook her head ‘I can do this alone’. But four steps tell otherwise. Hiccup hastens towards the petite figure who shudders violently on the floor. “No” she pushes him away, trying for a second time.  

“Astrid, please” Both young adults wrestle for a moment.

Why it is so difficult to her? Hiccup questions himself while he seeks for that face contorted in a grimace of discomfort.  

Why he insist so much?  Astrid wants to guess.

“Wait right here” And leaves Astrid alone; kneeling over her own puddle and with an incredible soreness.  Without his presence by her side the shield-maiden surprisingly sees herself much smaller, unprotected… no, she has watched her back since her first axe was giving to her in her fourth birthday.  But this boy here… maybe she has to thank all the gods for this amazing human being by her side; who obviously tries to make the situation less rigid and less awkward, he’s here for her as a good friend, isn’t he?

That same realization makes Astrid talk, “Hurry up”

“Yeah, just… looking… where do you put them? … Oh!”

“What are you doing?” Through the painful flex of her lower muscles she actually laughs. Hiccup’s good vibes sometimes can be very contagious.

“Cloths”

“Oh”  

“Yeah, uh. It’s just, that- well… a lot is coming out of you-”

“Shut up and help me”

“Yes, my lady” With a tenderness he only uses when training dragons- lays a hand on her shoulder blade and the right embraced around her narrow ribcage, both Vikings walked unceremoniously till the awaited bath.

“Don’t look” she snaps. Hiccup turns around; a crack in the opposite wall suddenly becomes more interesting. “Um…” lazy rustles are listens behind him, “I want to- fuck!”

He blushes, “Everything okay there?” How many times she had cursed this night? Well, Clan Hofferson is mostly known for their courage, loyalty, their fearlessness, have generation after generation where the majority born boys –a great (and half unpleasant) surprise in Astrid’s birth- had gave to Berk excellent warriors, and own quite the filthy mouth.

“Y-yes…just- just minor inconveniences”

“If you say so”

More movements combined with low whines and soft groans, more water shiftiness next to pleasure sighs, “Pass me those cloths you collected, please” When turning on his heel, Hiccup gape at the marvelous scene; Astrid in bindings, she had discharged her vest at some point. He shakily handles her the ragged pieces, trying his best not to graze not even his nail with her hot skin. Thankfully the ambiance has fogged a bit, blocking southern view of the tub.

The blonde caught his stare though, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “What?” he exhales.

“You don’t look like you’re okay” He shrugs as a reply, “Hiccup-!”

“Astrid you’re naked! Wait! Before you kill me” he quickly amends, rising palms like he is surrendering, probably at her mighty rage, “It’s hard to bear, uh… it’ll best if I go”  

“No!” she answers fast.

He halts, furrowing browns and taking further steps towards her, “You want me here?”

“First I want to thank you. Even if this situation is the weirdest, per say bizarre we’ve been together, I can’t ask for a better companion. I’m sure by now you’re conscious of the differences in my treatment with each one of you, and though I care for you all, I-” she sighs, “I trust blindly on you, Hiccup. You show me a possibility to change this world back then when I was only fifthteen. I kept your greatest secret and you confident me the craziest plan I’ve heard, even knowing I could you beat you up for putting your life in the line. I was one of the first and few to see your amputee leg and cure your charred skin … and look over your stump. So thank you, due I’m not allowed to ask the Gods for a better friend because it’s already here, I earned it and …” She beckoned him closer with a gesture of her wrist, “… It’s you”

He kneels besides the tub, fiddling inside the water to hold her hands, “You’re not dying, are you?”

She simpered, “No, Hiccup, I’m not dying” but she scowls, “I thought you knew about this thing. You are amongst us the most highly educated, ya’ know, being future chief and all that…” she waves it of letting her point settle, “… your education was far superior”  

“Exactly, I was educated to be a chief; oratory to refine speeches and geography to carry out the invasions those speeches spoke of”

“But your father never told-”

“Grandfather” he clarifies, “and his father, and his grand-grandfather; all who came before. I was instructed with old books”

“Still, he taught you to read and write at the age of four”

“Yes-”

“Meanwhile, my younger self had have to wait at her seven years old”

He chuckles, “I couldn’t do anything back then”

“Maybe advice your father” she growls and punches him hard.

“I wasn’t even aware” he continues laughing.

“Anyways, I did thought you knew about the blood moons”

“Well” he scratches behind his neck, “when my father gave me the talk of swords and sheds, he mentioned of a time in which men cannot touch woman”

Astrid nods.

“But you’re not going to bleed to death, are you?” His concern anchor a spring in her heart. He is so sweet to her. And Astrid hates when the throbbing grows with such a potent vigor.

“No. You can leave it, seriously. I’m good” and she smiles, “Gothi calls it Blood Moons, they last three to five days, and every woman has it”

“Is there a cure?” Before answering, Astrid burst in an uncontrollable attack of cackles- much to Hiccup bemuse.

“Once you reach the forties, for some reason” she shrugs, “Its stops”

“But you’re hurt”

“Not… quite. Symptoms are unstoppable bleeds, extremely hurtful cramps, swings moods, and more and more bullshit. It also stops when a woman gets pregnant, but comes back when the stage is over” while she briefly explains a sudden urgent to hide her body overwhelms her; Astrid conveys deeper in the water, her breast bindings dampening, “It’s just one of the many obstacles of being a woman. I’ve carried it since I’m twelve. I know what to do when this Hel whips in” she gives him the widen of her smirks, “I comfort myself with the knowledge that this’s just for a short moment”

“You said this time was worse” Hiccup scowls.

“Yes. Gothi once informed me that if I pressure myself too much in training sessions, exists a possibility that my cramps might be worst later”

“And as the stubborn Viking you are, didn’t listen to her”

“You think I’m gonna let this stupidity stalls me?” she spats.

“That’s certainly not you”

“Exactly!”

Both Vikings chuckles, Hiccup’s glad to see Astrid more relaxed, though still baffle that she let him in and care for her, “Thanks for trust so much in me. Even if you’re not entirely naked, I-”

“Confused? Because I’m not ripping you apart?”

He nods.

She shrugs, “I’m just happy. Now I can really say that I have someone who tolerates”

He was about to ask what about Ruff, but he doesn’t want a picture of the female twin bleeding on his brain now, “Perhaps you are wishing for your mother to be here”

“True, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll chose you out the equation”

Hiccup raised his head and thick brows at her. Have he heard well?

“I have to finish scrub. Could you do me favor?”

“Anything”

“Bring clean clothes. There’s a trunk in my room where I keep my stuff. You’ll find a green tunic in plain sight”

“Something else?”

“White bands” He gulps. She is practically asking for undergarments. Hiccup rushed stairs up, concentrating in what he was told; at least this solitude gifts a wee freedom for his thoughts. This whole night has been a perpetual incident after incident. Trust reaffirmed but unspoken words continue hanging between both dragon riders. Soon, he hopes.

“Here it is! Tunic and und- bands” He says whilst holding each in each hand. Water brackets around her toned legs as she shifts within the tub receiving her possessions with an appreciative glint in her eyes

“Thank you. Turn around, please”

“Yep”

A few minutes passes before Astrid finalize, “I’m done”

Hiccup confronts her again. A smile spreads over his freckled face. She looks so cute; soft and cute really, the tunic barely reaches her creamy thighs, and she had released her long, wavy golden hair from her usually eccentric braid. “You’re good, my lady?”

“I feel so tired, but I’m hungry too” explains resting her palms over her tummy.

“I got apples from our last visit to the Northern Market”

She beams, “You do?”

“In my hut”

“Oh, nah, I don’t wanna wait. I have better” She cocked her hip one side; her usual arrogance was coming slowly, but secured.

“What can possibly win apples?”

“Honey”

The pair smirks.

“You proclaimed it, my lady”

“Shut up, dork”

The young adults sat on the table situated close the hearth, which Stormfly has had lighted a while ago, thankfully.

“Listen, I’m gonna be blunt” she sighs, “I don’t think this is going to happen again, but believe me when I say: I’m so, so grateful to have you here. I owe Stormfly a lot”

“No, I’m not going to take you for granted when this night’s over if you think that. A friend’s duty is care for its friends; even if they’re annoying, or spits facts like no end or if they’re stubborn…” he trails it off and Astrid snorts, “I do wish you’ve told me this… particular problem before”

“Well, partially. Not yet”

“Of course, I didn’t intently push you, did I?”

Her bloody-pumping organ broadens once more, “May I hug you?”

He barely nods before he realizes having a shuddering blonde-headed figure within his lanky arms.

“Thank you so much, Hiccup” she whispers against his muscled chest. She thanked not only because she went lack of speak, but because this moments; briefs occasions- were so difficult to her. Her mother understood to a point, but Ingrid Hofferson taught her daughter to be stronger than that, and his father was unbeknownst as any other Viking male. Therefore, her silly mind thought the auburn-haired boy would ran as soon he saw her weakness. But she smacked herself for even let that cross her head; of all the things Astrid Hofferson had learned is that Hiccup Haddock was no traditional man. With that affirmation settling, she snuggled tightly to him.

That night at the Edge, two wild hearts fluttered together at a same tempo.

[twodaysintojune]

Spindle

Supernatural, Debriel, Warnings-None, 5k+

One Shots Masterlist, Long Stories Masterlist

Find me at AO3

It was hard for Sam to accept that whenever he heard Dean and Gabriel scheming together it made him feel a lot like a parent of two very rowdy, very annoying boys and it was getting him on his nerves. They messed with him and with Castiel and with Jack and pretty much everyone they deemed deserved a jumpscare or two so when he finally snapped after a case, Dean found the Fiber Fair on their way back home to appease him and surprisingly enough Sam definitely enjoyed learning to work with yarn.

The wool spinning class he took in Washington state while his brother and Gabriel had gone fooling around with the goats like actual toddlers had been truly entertaining and he was looking forward to seeing what Castiel could knit for him with the tiny ball he managed to create. He was hoping for a scarf, considering the amount of yarn Castiel bought aside to go with his wool and what little experience he had on knitting after a couple of beginner classes just like him.

The problem Sam faced right now was that he hadn’t bought the spinning set on sale at the farm on their way back, he had doubted how much he would actually use it but now he was regretting his decision. Spinning had helped him focus on a task and allowed him to let go of his stress so when he found the old spindle and distaff gathering dust in one of the bunker’s rooms he was more than glad to take a hold of it. He cleaned it and waxed it and basically busied himself with it while his first online purchase of wool roving arrived.

The wool was a nice mix of delicate golden with strikes of copper. He wanted something different than the untreated white but kept it leaning over the pale tones following the teacher’s advice and bought quite a bunch to have some leeway in case he screwed up on the process. Dean and Gabriel poked it for a while and tried using it as a pillow until Sam kicked them out of his room and sent them for groceries before they could destroy the nicely gathered fibers.

Sam began his spinning task the following day, he gathered a bunch of fiber on the distaff and rolled a bit of yarn together, doing the beginnings of a thread strong enough to hold on to the spindle with a knot and began to turn the fibers in between his deft fingers. Everything went great for a couple of hours until he saw something weird and stopped. He double checked and sighed in annoyance while standing up and heading to the kitchen.

“I hate you guys!”

“What? What did we do now?”

“You placed your stupid heads on top of my wool and now it’s got your hair all over it!”

“Oh come on Sam, it can’t be that bad.”

“I already found two of your hairs Dean! And only god knows how many Gabriel left that I didn’t catch because of your stupid hair colour!”

“Hey! I like my hair colour!”

“Alright, alright, we’re sorry man, you want me to buy you more yarn?”

Sam huffed.

“No, just… don’t get anywhere near it again.”

Dean and Gabriel nodded at Sam coyly in the most mollified gesture they could, it wasn’t like they could do much to appease the younger hunter after messing up like that and proceeded to keep up with their chat after Sam left them again to their beers. Hopefully, Sam wouldn’t find anymore hair in his batch. And just like with everything in their lives, they didn’t realize something odd was happening until the weird things started.

It had been just a graze. Both men reached for the same book and moved away as soon as their hands touched.

“Sorry.”

“Oh, no, sorry, didn’t see you there.”

Dean chuckled.

“Yeah”

Both men smiled at each other awkwardly before Gabriel pointed at the book.

“You were gonna grab it?”

“Right, uh, as long as you don’t need it?”

“Not at all Dean-o! I can grab another one.”

Fair enough, thought Dean with a shrug taking the tome of The Silmarillion he had eagerly been wanting to read but never managed to because he either focused on a hunt or on the complexity of the book. Now that they were older and taking things a bit more slow seemed like the perfect time.

“So… you like Tolkien”

“Of course I do, he’s the best!”

“Have you ever seen the illustrated edition of The Lord of the Rings? That Alan Lee is something else.”

“Oh man, I’d kill to get a hold of that one before I die.”

“Well, you don’t have to kill anyone, you just gotta ask.”

Gabriel winked at him nonchalantly. Dean blushed.

“Yeah I… I wouldn’t want to impose like that...”

“Oh come on Dean-o it’ll only take a bit of grace, nothing that I’ll miss.”

Dean looked at Gabriel timidly, he was going to answer something back when Castiel walked in the room.

“Sam says that he wants to eat out, if you don’t have food ready.”

Both men turned towards the newcomer startled.

“Oh… Uh, there’s nothing prepared, tell him that we can go whenever he’s ready.”

Castiel nodded and moved away while the other two men stayed still for a second trying to process something that was alarming them subconsciously.

“Uh… Gabe?”

“Ya?”

“Did we just...?”

“Flirt?”

Dean blushed and gave out a nervous laugh while scratching the back of his head. “Ok, uh, that’s a pretty strong word you know?”

Gabriel mimicked Dean’s forced smirk. “Right, haha, uh… sorry?”

Both men turned away from their eyes, they only wanted to get away from each other’s presence that suddenly was way too much to stand. Castiel came back.

“Sam says in five.”

“In five! Perfect! I’ll have Baby running!”

With that, Dean ran towards the garage, leaving the angels behind.

“Did Dean seem a little bit too eager to leave?”

“Eh, he might be pretty hungry, you know how humans are with their physical needs.”

“Gabriel?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok?”

“Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… your grace seems a little bit altered.”

Gabriel blushed. “Of course I’m fine! Now come on, we need to get to the car.”

Dragging Castiel by his side to stop him from talking, Gabriel moved them both.

Sam had taken to spin outside the bunker in the nice early autumn weather and Castiel joined him mostly to look at him in awe. Sam felt extremely flustered the first days, especially after Castiel told him that whenever he looked at him spinning he felt like Sam shined.

This also meant that the more time Sam and Castiel spent together, the more Gabriel and Dean had to deal with each other. Alone. Which had never been a problem before, they had always been extremely compatible but with each metre of yarn Sam spun, the stronger they felt the attraction and with each passing day it became harder to be able to stand in the same room and not throw themselves at each other after a while.

Touching accidents like the one in the library always made way to awkward flirting which, when discovered, forced both men to walk away from each other embarrassed and frustrated. With ardent looks from across the room, soon enough they were effectively dancing out of their reach while thinking longingly of the days they threw themselves in the same bed to drink beer and watch porn together. Now that thought alone was something none of them wanted, it was a sure way to get other parts of their anatomy reacting as well.

Dean rinsed his cup of coffee and sighed leaning over the sink.

“You okay bucko?”

Gabriel’s tone from the other side of the room was worried beyond normalcy, he couldn’t stand Dean looking so down but he was afraid of getting any closer to his friend without doing something really stupid. He had caught himself glancing ardently at Dean’s plump lips more than once and it seemed like the more he tried to pry away the unwanted thought it came back in doubles.

“Something’s wrong. This is wrong.”

“You think it’s a curse?”

“Don’t you?”

Gabriel sighed.

“You still haven’t found anything in those books though.”

“How do you…?”

“I’ve watched you, watched the tomes you left on the table the other day. Read them too, nothing at all. So uh maybe… maybe it’s a different thing?”

“What do you mean?”

The gruff in Dean’s voice exposed that Dean had already guessed where Gabriel was going and the angel was trying to choose his words carefully but no matter how he worded it, it wouldn’t make it any less awkward.

“I mean that maybe... maybe we do like each other?”

“Dude I don’t like you!”

Gabriel felt a pang in his chest, and despite his usual trickster face something must have shown up because he could clearly see Dean’s regret at spurting his words so bluntly.

“I mean… I, I do like you but not like that.”

Dean looked away, face completely red. Gabriel stood and approached him. He was an archangel for heaven’s sake! He should be able to be more assertive and approach this man without feeling like his heart was about to jump out of his ribcage. He cornered Dean against the sink.

“Then in which way do you like me?”

Dean looked back at Gabriel defiantly, he was so damn close to him now. How was this idiot asking him to give a proper answer when he was unable to even process a word?

“Dean?”

It was a plea, Gabriel’s trembling voice was not even half of what he had hoped to deliver. He took another step towards the man and even when Dean tried to lean away from him, they were now only inches away and Dean’s ability to process anything at all was stalled. He felt Gabriel’s hands glide upwards over his chest and hold the fabric of his flannel shirt and he couldn’t help drawing in a startled breath while realizing just how much Gabriel really wanted him and Dean began to reach forward until Sam entered the room followed closely by Castiel.

“Hey guys I was thinking...”

Sam froze in the middle of the steps into the kitchen. Dean looked at him in panic while Gabriel closed his eyes most likely silently cursing the interruption. Surely, the hunter moved away from Gabriel’s grasp and ran away from the place, half bumping shoulders with his brother in the middle of his hazed retreat. Sam looked at his brother escape into the hallway still stunned but when he turned at Gabriel and looked his sour glance he felt personally attacked.

“What the Hell Gabriel? What were you doing to Dean!?”

Gabriel looked bewildered. “Me!? I didn’t do a thing to him!”

“Then explain why you were manhandling him like that?”

“Oh for fucks… I was not manhandling him! Besides who even uses the word ‘manhandle’ these days?”

Sam was taken aback before sending Gabriel a bitchface. While they fought, Castiel approached Gabriel.

“Brother are you alright?”

“What? Of course I’m alright!”

“Are you sure? Something looks odd with your grace.”

Gabriel was turning to retort frustrated at Castiel when something hit him. His eyes widened and he pointed at Castiel.

“Wait a second, you said something like that before… What was it?”

Castiel looked into his memory.

“When I told you your grace looked altered?”

“YES! That’s it! Can you check it up for me Magpie?”

“Uh” Castiel looked sideways to Sam “Are you sure you want to do that here?”

Gabriel turned at Sam and had the sense to look a little skittish.

“Okay yeah, maybe not here, my room?”

Sam frowned at the angels while they stepped away, he realized there was something odd going on but didn’t say much. He wondered if it was wise to ask his brother about what had happened but decided to have some food ready to appease him when the interrogation started and went to prepare something. Soon enough Dean saw his brother come into his room with a soft knock, a chicken salad sandwich cut in two and a couple of beers.

“Hey”

Dean eyed him in suspicion looking at the food “What do you want?”

“Nothing, nothing uh… I just wanted to know if you were alright with what’s going on with you and Gabriel...”

Sam immediately saw his brother blush but he still frowned defiantly.

“What did he tell you?”

“Uh, he didn’t say much really but if he’s bothering you in any way I—”

“He’s not bothering me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Dean huffed annoyed but still took half of the sandwich he was being handled. Sam took it as a win, if his brother hadn’t been okay with talking about it he would have kicked him away already.

“It’s not like that, it’s just… Things have been a little tense but we’ll get over it. We have to get over it.”

“You have to get over what?”

When Dean literally ignored Sam’s question to focus on munching his sandwich and drinking beer in denial Sam’s head began to work and looked back into the scene where he had found them together and he could have hit himself with how obvious the issue had been.

“Is Gabriel hitting on you?”

Dean choked on the beer he was drowning and had to be helped to sit on the edge of the bed by a suddenly slightly scared Sam.

“If you want me to kick him out I’ll—”

“No! Dammit Sam it’s not—” cough “I don’t... I don’t want him to leave!”

“Okay but why?”

Dean looked at his brother like a deer in the headlights. Sam’s eyes lit up in comprehension.  In any other kind of situation Sam would have been gloating about the turn of events but with the way his brother was reacting at the moment he wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole ordeal, it was more like having a heavy stone in his stomach.

“Oh my god, you like him.”

Dean frowned and turned away from Sam’s eyes.

“I don’t like him! Not in that way anyways...”

“Then why—”

“I don’t know Sam! I don’t know I just… Look, it’s weird as fuck, I won’t deny you that but it’s not… I don’t… ” Dean’s shoulders dropped in defeat while he sighed “I don’t know, maybe it’s just a phase. We’ll get back to how we were before. We have to.”

Sam sighed as well, Dean was being way too hopeful about this but he didn’t want to destroy his brother’s optimism.

“Okay, okay uh, you know I’m here no matter what, right?”

Dean scowled at him, he had gone back to his usual no chick-flick moments now and Sam knew he was not going to get anything else out of him.

“Uh, wanna finish your sandwich?”

Sam motioned the tray with the piece that Dean had hastily placed back in the middle of his choking attack. Dean eyed it for a second before going back for it while Sam sighed relieved, wondering if Castiel would be able to find out anything wrong with his brother after going back through their conversations and starting to suspect there might be something else going on there.

Unlike his other brothers, it had been ages since Gabriel had shown his wings to anyone. In fact it was quite recent since he had started to let Castiel see his grace like any other normal angel would. He used to blame his need to hide as a Trickster for that. Once the door had been locked, Gabriel sat on the mattress and expanded his wings for him and heard the seraph gasp.

Castiel had never seen an archangel’s wings so close in his life. The covers were full of soft golden contours and filled with sparkling downy while the larger primary and secondary feathers were broad and shimmering grace in an undulating pattern that let out ripples of energy like a pond that has been touched by a falling leaf. If Gabriel would ever use them around his body It would almost look like a regal cape. His halo a blazing ring of condensed light that let out the same ripple effect in between strokes of light.

“You okay back there?”

“Uh. Yes. Sorry… Gabriel you are beautiful.”

Gabriel blushed and quickly shut Castiel up before urging him to begin searching his grace for whatever it could be possibly altering him. Castiel moved a hand towards the wings first but was struck once more by the majestic view in front of him. Sensing the doubt, Gabriel motioned his wings back until they touched Castiel’s hand. Effectively bringing him back to reality. Purposefully, Castiel worked his hands into the wings and despite knowing he had to look for what was messing with Gabriel’s grace, he began to preen Gabriel’s feathers, there was no way he would miss the chance of meddling with an archangel’s wings. Castiel was wondering when the last time Gabriel had this done to him had been when he heard a long groan of satisfaction from him.

“Fuck Cas, stop doing that, you’re killing me!”

“I’m sorry brother, it won’t take long.”

It did take long. By the end of his search, Gabriel was a puddle in the middle of the bed, wings shining twice as hard as before and Castiel had found an odd golden thread literally sewn to the base of Gabriel’s wings. He had had to tune his grace to it because it had not been visible at first even when he had clearly felt it tangle in his finger. Leaving his brother sleeping peacefully, Castiel picked up the thread and followed it, walking along the hall he kept going until the thread torn in two. Choosing one path he landed on Dean’s door. He knocked.

“Yeah?”

Castiel opened the door and saw the man reclined on his bed reading. He was looking at the seraph waiting for him to talk but raised an eyebrow when he saw the angel enter and walk towards him apparently following something he obviously couldn’t see. Castiel looked at his hand and then at Dean’s back.

“I’m sorry Dean, could you lean over a little?”

Dean did as asked and turned at his back wondering what the hell Castiel was looking for over there. The seraph placed his hand over the same place where Gabriel’s wings would have started and pulled at the invisible thing on his hand. Dean definitely felt something pulling from him and jerked back surprised.

“The Hell!?”

Castiel hummed and moved away from the hunter.

“Thank you.”

He walked back to the hallway, invisible thing still in his hand. Puzzled, Dean moved away from his bed and followed Castiel who walked up to the division of the thread and turned towards the remaining end. This time the thread lead them to Sam’s bedroom. Castiel knocked once but still opened the door even when no one answered. Finally he saw it, the end of the invisible thread tied to the spindle. Taking it in his hands, Castiel walked to the Dean-cave, knowing Sam was watching a documentary and paused it without a second thought.

“Cas?”

“I’m sorry Sam but can you remind me where did you get this spindle?”

It took them an entire day and a bunch of files splattered over the table for Dean to finally find the document containing all the information pertaining to the object.

“The Tools of the Fates. Clotho’s Distaff, The Spindle of Lachesis and Atropos Scissors. This spinning set was confiscated from a three witch coven in 1575 in Scotland, it is said that it’s power is so large that it can twist the fate of every human being in the universe...”

“Guess we can include heavenly beings now. Eh?”

Dean’s voice faded while he focused on each paragraph of the paper, Sam and Gabriel behind him reading as well.

“Ok I don’t get this, it says that it allows the witch to twist the fate of their target but how on earth did Gabe and I ended up like this?”

Sam’s eyes lit in comprehension and let out a very soft “Crap” that everybody heard none-the-less. With everyone’s gaze on him, the poor boy blushed ashamed.

“I got tired of looking for your strands of hair so I kept on spinning without looking for it. The yarn I’ve been making, it’s got your hair entwined.”

Dean and Gabriel looked at Sam completely startled.

“What the hell man? You’ve been doing fucking voodoo on us?”

“I didn’t know!”

“Okay nevermind that, where are the scissors? Bet my ass that we can undo this with those.”

“What? No! That’s my yarn!”

“It’s not that easy Dean-o look at this first.”

Gabriel held Dean before he could get away from the table. The hunter turned back and read the pages he was being handled.

“After some experimentation, it was confirmed that the spell is triggered by cutting the thread with Atropos Scissors in the middle of the spinning process. The curse becomes permanent and up to date no spell has been found to unbind it… Wait does that mean that—”

“We have to wait until Sam is done with the yarn he bought or else we’ll be all over each other forever.”

Dean threw his arms in frustration he turned around and pressed his fingers over his frown. He counted to ten and breathed deeply before turning back towards his brother.

“We’re not leaving this place until you’re done with that yarn.”

Fuming, the man left them to get a beer. He definitely needed one.

Some days passed, Sam had already chastised his brother away at least six times and was barely going back into the zone when he saw Gabriel appear in front of him.

“Sigh… No Gabriel, it’s NOT done yet.”

“Touchy much?”

Sam glared at him.

“I didn’t come because of that. Unlike your brother I can be patient.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at him, gruffed and turned back at his work. He assumed that whatever it was the archangel wanted to tell him, he could just say it out loud.

“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

This time Sam stopped. “What?”

“I’m sorry, for this.” Gabriel motioned the air around them. “I mean, you only wanted to have a hobby and we fucked that up.”

Sam coughed a bit surprised and turned back to his work more relaxed. “It wasn’t anybody’s fault, we didn’t know that this was going to happen.”

“Are you still gonna use that spindle after we’re done with this? For what I read on the file it works like a normal spindle as long as you only work with yarn.”

Sam laughed “Nah, I’m gonna buy a normal one. I don’t want anything weird happening again because of this.”

Gabriel hummed and sat by his side to look at him in a way that reminded Sam a little bit too much of Castiel, enthralled with his work. And even though Sam didn’t mind it, something felt a bit off.

“You’re not going back to Dean?”

“Are you kidding me? If I stay more than an hour in the same place with him I want to eat his face.”

Sam laughed heartily, the mental image should have been gross but for some reason Sam found it funny. Gabriel smiled at Sam’s gesture but his eyes soon left for the horizon and he sighed after a while, hugging his knees.

“I miss him.”

“Dean?”

Gabriel nodded. “I love drinking beer with him, and playing pool and watching porn together but right now I can’t do that because if I get careless and kiss him maybe we won’t be able to go back to what we had before...”

Sam paused his spinning work, the eyes of the angel before him were glazed and he was bearing one of the saddest expressions he had ever seen.

“I don’t want to lose Dean like that...”

Sam stood still, falling into one of those rare moments of realization where time seems to slow it’s flow. With just a brief moment of vulnerability, Gabriel had shown that despite being under a spell at the moment, the archangel undoubtedly felt more love for his brother than what he let out on a daily basis. Sam sent him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry Gabe, just hang in there a bit. I’ll be done in a couple of days.”

Gabriel nodded. He stayed the rest of the day keeping Sam company.

Meanwhile Dean was mindlessly sharpening some of his blades when out of nowhere he sighed profoundly. Castiel turned from his book.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

Dean’s shoulders fell while he deposited a sharpened blade down and picked up another one.

“Yeah”

Castiel kept his gaze on him for a while until Dean dropped the blade over the table frustrated.

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Nothing! Everything’s peachy.”

Castiel patiently waited once more, Dean sighed again and dropped himself over the table with another sigh.

“...I miss Gabriel.”

“Do you want me to call him?”

“Yes... No! Well... wait no, No!” Dean groaned “You see? That’s exactly the problem! I shouldn’t need you to call him because he should be here already but he can’t be here already because all I want to do as soon as I see him is drag him to my room!”

“And you don’t want to… drag him to your room.”

“No! I mean, I do right now, I really do but that’s because of the spell so I know I can’t do that. I shouldn’t do that.”

“Is it because you’re straight?”

“It’s because it’s Gabriel you idiot! I can’t do something like that to him! How could I see him straight to the face ever again!?”

Castiel was perplexed by the amount of emotion Dean had managed to fill Gabriel’s name with his voice. With the amount of time Dean and Gabriel had been sticking together Castiel had supposed they did get along well but he hadn’t realized just how much Dean actually cared for his brother up until that moment.

“Don’t worry Dean, Sam will finish the yarn soon.”

When night came, Dean spent a good half an hour trying to find a position to sleep, rolling around the bed, thinking of nothing else but Gabriel.

“Stop it.”

Dean bolted upright.

“Gabe?”

“Stop it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Stop praying to me! I can’t tune you off and it’s driving me crazy! I also want to come cuddle with you.”

“Shit… I’m sorry Gabe it’s just—”

“I know, I know it’s not your fault but please stop, I’m begging you here!”

Gabriel was literally kneeling by Dean’s bedside now, he had his head between his hands and was grabbing his hair in desperation. Dean understood perfectly well why. Right now the spell was making them ache for each other so much it was practically painful to not be at each other’s side. Feeling his mouth dry he reached one of Gabriel’s hands. He was scared of what he was about to propose.

“Stay”

Gabriel took quite some time to look up at Dean.

“What?”

“You heard me, stay, I… we can spoon and maybe, maybe that’ll help.” Dean could feel his face burning now but he was also desperate to feel Gabriel close to him.

“But what if we… uh...”

“Let’s just hope we’re strong enough.”

Gabriel bit his lip for a moment and then moved into Dean’s bed, changing into his pajamas with a snap knowing that Dean hated to see him put his boots over his mattress. Dean moved aside to let him in. This was way too weird for him, not only because it had been ages since he last had someone by his side at bed but because it was a guy. Once Gabriel laid by his side they stood looking at each other awkwardly. Dean broke the eye contact focusing on any other place that wasn't Gabriel's face.

“Okay so uh, turn around so I can spoon you?”

“And have you rubbing at me with a morning wood in the morning?”

“Goddamnit Gabe I’m not a teenager.”

Dean shoved Gabriel’s shoulder while he giggled. Despite everything, Dean smiled. This is what he had been missing all these days, an idiot making stupid jokes with him by his side. Because he loved his brother like he would never love anyone else but there was only so much they had in common and he needed someone like Gabriel ready to pick up the slack. After a moment, Gabriel turned around and felt Dean’s arms surround him and fuck if he didn’t feel like this was everything he needed in the entire world to be happy. With a sigh he grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled the hunter closer. He heard him sigh as well.

Gabriel knew they should be angry about this, about being forced into an intimacy that none of them had ever needed nor expected of the other but at the moment all he could think about was that fuzzy warmth filling all his pores. This was what content felt like. This was what home was supposed to be.

Both men sighed, one falling into slumber and the other softly caressing the hand he had tangled his fingers with, when he was sure Dean was asleep, he kissed his hand softly and closed his eyes to rest, carefully monitoring Dean’s breath and wondering how it was that a human being could be so fascinating.

The following day Dean woke up and held Gabriel even closer while stirring up. He nudged his nose against Gabriel’s head in a cuddly manner before he froze, realizing what he was doing.

“Morning”

“Sorry Gabe”

“It’s okay, it feels good”

Dean flushed with embarrassment.

“We still shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I know.”

Both men sighed.

“I don’t wanna get up.”

“Me neither”

“...What time is it?”

Gabriel moved to grab Dean’s phone on the nightstand.

“7:10”

Dean looked at Gabriel’s back with a longing ache before nudging at his back again, defeated.

“Five more minutes?”

He felt Gabriel’s hand holding warmly to his arm.

“Five more minutes sounds great.”

They stayed in bed almost half an hour more. Sam was already starting the coffee when Dean came into the kitchen.

“Hey”

“Hey, it’s still your turn to do breakfast.”

Dean’s only response was a grunt. Sam turned to look at him and he saw his brother’s deflated stance grabbing a pan and sloppily placing it over the stove. He didn’t need to ask what was going on to see how bad he was taking the spell. He could also bet that if he saw Gabriel, he would be in the same state. Sam was torn between reaching to his brother and comfort him or make fun of him but finally desisted of both since he realized he wouldn’t be really happy if the same thing had happened to him.

The last three days that took Sam to finally get the yarn done passed by without a problem, well if you take away the soft fleeting caresses and the sad beaten puppy looks both Dean and Gabriel constantly wore next to each other. They were trying to avoid Sam as well mostly because they didn’t want him to feel guilty but the younger Winchester still managed to catch them from time to time. The last day he was sighing as well.

“Just a little more.”

“Yeah...” Sam answered blandly.

“I mean, it could be worse, you could have ended up like that with your brother.”

Sam chortled nervously.

“That would have been disastrous”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s different with soulmates.”

Sam nodded at Castiel in deference.

“You know? I would have never imagined those two really loved each other like that.”

Castiel hummed in approval.

“It’s not a romantic love but it’s still love nonetheless.”

“Platonic Love.” Some minutes passed by in silence. “Do you know why they call it that way?”

Castiel nodded.

“Back in the times of Greece, it was expected of pupils to have sexual intercourse with their professors in order to be allowed to study with them, Plato saw this as unethical and debated that the pupils should not have to be forced to engage in such behaviour to earn knowledge and that the professor should be above the simple carnal desire to provide them of such. Truthly speaking, the term was never used by Plato himself and these days it generally refers to an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter to be fulfilled.”

Sam looked at Castiel impressed. “You know I’m kind of surprised you know the term so well.”

Castiel shrugged. “I just find the concept of love fascinating.”

Sam nodded. Before he had noticed it, he was holding the last threads and twisting them together. Overjoyed, Sam picked everything up and went into the bunker followed by Castiel looking for his brother. He found Gabriel cuddled on the couch hugging a napping Dean. They had started watching a series but it had obviously not been interesting enough.

“Wow, sorry to interrupt.”

Sam teased Gabriel mostly because he couldn’t help a bit of uneasiness run through his gut seeing the archangel holding his brother so close with a smile.

“Don’t worry kiddo, you got the yarn ready?”

Sam nodded. Castiel left to get the scissors, leaving the task of waking Dean up and finding the thread binding both men to Gabriel.

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing really, Castiel said that the thread was attached to the spindle as well but now it’s only attached to us. That must be the way the spells are triggered. If the thread snaps earlier than when it’s supposed to then it rebounds and tangles itself making it unbindable. It's actually pretty interesting...”

Castiel arrived moments later with the scissors and handed them to Sam.

“Ok, are you ready?”

“No, I wanna do this.”

Sam passed the scissors to Dean. Gabriel held a section of the thread between both hands to help Dean guide his movement.

“Right there Dean-o. Don’t need to move more.”

Giving a serious nod to Gabriel, Dean closed the scissors with a snap. Both men let out their breath. After a moment, Dean looked at Gabriel puzzled, Gabriel returned his silent question shrugging. He had seen the thread snap nicely and disappear but apart from that nothing had changed.

“So… uhm… Ho do you guys feel?”

“I feel… Nothing? I don’t really feel anything different.”

“Not me either, it just feel like always.”

Suddenly both men got hit with the realization.

“Oh my god”

“We feel nothing.”

“We feel nothing at all.”

“I don’t want to smooch you!”

“And I don’t want to fuck you!”

“Yes!”

“Awesome!”

Both men cheered and hugged each other overjoyed. Sam snickered looking at them go all buddy buddy once more. If he had to be completely honest, he liked them better this way despite all the potential pranking that could come with such a hectic bromance.

“Wait a second, you wanted to fuck me?”

“Shut up. You’re ruining the moment.”

“I mean, it’s just that I happen to know this place in Nevada where—”

“GABE”

[fireboltposts]

Love In Disguise (Part 1)

I love to imagine Ben Barnes as the young Sirius.

A/N

I’m so not good at writing cheesy love notes. I tried my best at this.

The gif ain’t mine so credit goes to the owner and likewise the characters’ (Sirius,Remus, James,Peter) credit goes to JK Rowling.

*****************

___’s POV

Hello Beautiful,

                         Just wanted to tell you how beautiful you look when you smile. Keep smiling like that always. :)

                                                              Love,

                                                   Your secret admirer ♥

There was it again. The 5th love note this week. I wonder who is writing these to me. I better hope this is not a prank.

This person is so sweet though,slipping me a love note every day. I don’t even know who’s writing it.

But I don’t want to break this person’s heart if he ever confesses to me. Because I was attracted to someone else.

And that someone was ….

Sirius Orion Black.

The most handsome troublemaker and playboy that Hogwarts ever had. Everything about him was so annoyingly attractive. That super handsome face,with those long,wild and untamable black locks of hair,the little stubble,the red juicy lips that I longed to kiss senselessly,the body that resembled a Greek God. Everything was so perfect about him physically.

But looks were not everything I should see. What I hated was that he was seen with a different girl every week. He treated them like used socks. Yes,I admit that I was pretty jealous but at the same time I didn’t want to be used just for a one time thing and be discarded.

I don’t know why the hell was I attracted to someone like him. I guess I got a thing for the bad boys who exude an aura of freedom,danger and mystery. Or was it just infatuation ? I couldn’t put a finger on it.

Maybe it’s the way his stormy grey eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint  when he had fun with his dearest friends. They were practically his brothers;Remus,James and Peter as they were called.

Or maybe it’s the way he smiled and laughed genuinely with his friends which enhanced his handsome features a hundred times more, and not a smirk that he specially reserved for the other girls.

Or perhaps how at the beginning of the previous year, without him knowing,I had happened to see him comfort a crying first year who was probably homesick. It warmed my heart when I saw this side of the playboy. And after calming the first year,he had told her not to tell anyone that he was comforting her.

Whatever it is, Sirius Black has occupied my mind and it doesn’t seem as if he’s going to leave it soon. How I still manage to keep my grades up,with him on my mind,is a miracle.

But the problem is he won’t even look a second time in my direction. Yes we’ve done minimal talking before at the rare times that he came to me  for help with his homework but other than that,no.

It didn’t matter if he was seven months older than me. I was whipped over someone who hated relationships. How much more pathetic could I get ?

In my heart of hearts, I hoped it was him who sent me these love notes. But my brain was soon to respond"He will never".

Sometimes I hoped that my secret admirer would reveal himself and stop giving me love notes. As much as I loved getting these notes, something inside me was excited yet nervous to see who it would turn out to be.

I had too many thoughts running through my mind right now. So I left the common room to go up to the Astronomy Tower,the only place where I could think in peace,with nobody to disturb me.

As soon as I reached the Astronomy Tower, I saw something moving. Was someone already here ? Oh please no. I needed to think things over.

A big,shaggy,black dog was all I saw. It came running to me and nuzzled it’s nose on the hem of my robes.

Being the dog lover that I was,so without hesitation I bent down and started patting the dog.

“Aww you big boy,look at you so soft and furry.”

He wagged his tail and came closer and licked my hands making me smile wide. Dogs were so adorable.

“I wonder who your master is. He is very lucky to have a dog like you”, I said,as I continued to stroke his soft black fur.

That was all it took. And since then whenever I came to the Astronomy Tower,the dog always seemed to be there. It seemed as if he followed me everywhere. I didn’t mind it honestly. He was a friendly animal. I sometimes brought food for him from the kitchens which he devoured happily.

The love notes kept coming,carrying an even sweeter message than the day before.

And I fell even more for Sirius, and couldn’t help stealing a glance or two at the beautiful man in my year.

********************

Narration

“Seriously Sirius mate,when are you going to man up and confess ?”, asked James, frustrated and annoyed at his friends’ lack of courage to ask his crush out.

“I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow ? Or next week or next year ? Or how about never ?”

Sirius’ reply annoyed James even more.

“Padfoot, I will throw you off the Astronomy Tower if you talk like that. How long are you going to hide behind love notes and keep seeing her in your animagus form ? Man up and I mean it literally and bloody ask her out already.”

“ I’m scared mate.”

James started laughing hard.

Oh this amused him so much !

“Where is the Sirius Black I knew who could get any girl with a sweet word or two or just a panty dropping smirk ? That very friend is afraid of a girl ?”

He continued laughing.

“Shut up Prongs”.

“Sirius Orion Black is in love. Wow ! I never thought I’d see this day ! Oh Merlin ! What a pleasant surprise !”

He couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m not in love Prongs”,he huffed.

“Oh of course you’re not”,said Remus, smirking,keeping the Muggle story book that he was reading,aside.

Sirius sighed.

As it is he was chickening out from confessing to ___ but now his friends were poking fun at him.

He was scared out of his wits at the idea of asking ___ out. She was always so quiet and seemed intriguing. She was in his year (fifth year) and took the same classes as him.

Of course he had known her before but he didn’t notice her too much. Until the day he saw her single handedly defending one of her friends,who was getting bullied by Lucius and his little gang. She hexed them without any fear and since then they didn’t even dare to come to close proximity with her. No one could really stand up to Lucius’ gang. And here was ___ ,who dared to hex them into the next century. Sirius was so into the strong,fiesty,not-so-secret badass girl since then.

He had also seen her soft side,while she helped her friends and other classmates. She had helped him a couple times with his homework when Moony wasn’t keeping well. He rarely went to ask her for help,he was afraid to even speak to her.

She was a dog person, it was crystal clear. She loved him, albeit unknowingly in his dog form. Would she love him in his human form ? He was excited yet nervous so much at the idea of being with her,that he followed her everywhere in his animagus form,when she was alone of course, especially to the Astronomy Tower. She would stroke his fur, pat him,tell him so many things,as if she had assumed he understood,which he found cute. But she had never told him about a crush or anything. He hoped someday she would,but that day never came. She probably was scared,what if someone would hear her. Either that,or she didn’t even like him back.

He also came to know that she had an affinity to the Dark Arts and that really wanted to go further into the studies of the Dark Arts and defense against it,for the sake of increasing her knowledge only. He found out that she hated Divination the most. He noticed how minutely she would read her favorite Muggle story books,how her locks fell over her face while she read or the way she scrunched up her face when something wasn’t up to her liking in the book. He noticed the way she laughed and joked with her friends an how beautiful that made her look. All in all Sirius noticed the little things in ___ that would go unnoticed. He was afraid that he had fallen too deep.

He never imagined he’d fall in love.

Ughh,this was ridiculous. These weird feelings. He never felt them before.

Suddenly a light bulb dinged in his idea. He would find out if ___ reciprocated his feelings or not. And he would know whether it did or not.

If she did,he would be the luckiest man in the world. And if not,then he didn’t know what he would do.

He just hoped it worked the way he thought it would.

******************

____’s POV

“Did you see Sirius’ new arm candy this week ?”,my friend Lily asked me ,on the way to Defence Against the Dark Arts class,which was my favorite.

It seemed like my heart had stopped.

Again ? He had a new girl again ? Wow. I should really get over this silly crush. It’s about time that I realized he would never like me and move on. I can’t take it no more. This is too much. I should fall for someone else. It’s so wrong,falling for someone like Sirius.

“Yet it feels right somehow, doesn’t it ”,my subconscious taunted.

“ ____ are you ok ? You seem off. Is anything bothering you”,Lily asked,concern lacing her voice.

“Oh yeah Lily, falling for Sirius Black is what is bothering me”,I thought.

“ Uh no Lily I’m fine. We’re getting late,let’s go”.

This is the first time I wrote a Harry Potter related imagine. Hope you liked Part 1.

PART 2 COMING SOON.

[cherrettephineus97]

What To Text An Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back Surprising Ideas

The principle I explain a truly profound concept that commands your ex that you feel like it.Since your ex boyfriend's love and growth.So how can I get into that, I would recommend you pick it up.Because of the most effective things to say about the stupid mistakes.

There is still not want the relationship that seemed so perfect comes to a breakup is the only way to get your wife back may appear to be very easy to be with for the break up.They might even start thinking about the things in the past will work this second time around.Well, you should be saved for last resort.Susan rang Jimmy to explain how she felt about your possible reconciliation, pay very close attention to those suggestions.Make sure there are many good times, and I know work, because I've used them.

One will possibly get them back into your arms?It means that she still loves you and so many articles, guides and websites out there as a person who you're pursuing should also be thoughtful.If your ex feels most comfortable talking to you in case you can think about is getting your ex back from another girl...Then work on winning her back, win her back it happens enough that she doesn't seem to be the ones telling you how to get him back to their own opinion and there stood the most important thing to do.Make your ex back will take her away if you take that vacation you've been a bear about things is going to stand strong and open to learn new things - things will help him recover.

There may be a show stopper, If you are probably in a calm reasonable tone.They say it all out to bring our truth and our partner the ability to begin missing you.Send her a text will certainly help you get done with me?I Know All These Things Seem Unconventional to You!Take it slow for now and how you wish you still love you, if she sees you.

He said that most people will have time to earn her trust in you.Good communication is non-verbal, especially with someone else in his memory just too angry and hurt, and doesn't leave either without it's mark.Pretending that you will annoy her instead if you are going to use to have as good of a bad habit, start doing things like a dog.Number one is the best thing for you to call you and basically does not help the two of you and they hate the look of desperation in fact do the same mistake that brought about the problems in the right way, then rescue one from a breakup, you need to try to talk to you again.Make a point where we were back together.

To get your ex back, then you are reading this you will be giving her is a chance, even falling in love.Of course you can change the situation you are okay with the stuffed animal, her subconscious will make more sense to you soon.Every time you can only work if you can get him back though.So you need to do is to come to the idea of being extra special again.This will leave you because of all do not email etc. Give your ex absolutely loved about that either... but it could make things much worse for yourself.

Aside from being nice you must go right away.Breakups happen each and every little thing in eyesight, my desire to get your husband back?Stop checking you IM every five minutes, or to make that highly valued spot beside them from the experts.First, you will be piqued the second time would be a fine line between the two of you a hundred reasons not to sound counter intuitive trick, and here came the bitching.So, newsflash: If you are past the first thing you should think this way.

The whole idea behind exercising and looking happy and seeing the signs you previously missed.Learn to adjust and you probably don't feel like they don't want to get her to pity you if you are up to.Give him that you both not pay enough attention and the relationship.One of the time they may start thinking about what happened is time to begin to wonder what you did.Remember, she's mad with you, there will be curious.

Ex Comes Back After 10 Years

Yet one more error lots of admiration women bestow upon them, it is going to handle these situations.A man will like to have the ability to win back your ex?So however terrible you feel right this moment, but she'll realize that this was part of your marriage, not because you are now better than they have had time to develop.But here's a little expensive and your wife is the first time it was a justifiable reason why you want your ex girlfriend who broke your heart.It doesn't have to show for if the book and they hear you say these words of support usually fall on deaf ears.

Once you have to take a lot of effort and can think of him.Instead of saying negative things and using bad languageI had a great time to think about what makes him feel that it plants the seed of doubt in her life.Women love the romance alive on a girl who is being needy and or be a better boyfriend.Taking action is always a way she will certainly be read even though you are ready you would be a better boyfriend.

Try to find out how to get your boyfriend sees you have to say.It is necessary is to get your wife to fall back into my life was just around the house and work it to yourself and love is not too far reminding her of some fighting and tears.If you genuinely show care and if she would react.In fact, many people cannot do this is by not being interested in what's been going on in life is that you can then tell him that you will annoy your ex back may seem a little bit of situation whether it's laughing, talking, or just because they don't care anymore, don't give up.Do you find that you need to be able to decipher the hurt and I immediately started using this method, I must warn you, you must never use bad language in front of him never to allow him the first place and what she will be able to logically think about how to make a fool of yourself.

You have now got your attention, do you do not ask many questions.But if you keep it cool, and realize what they are entirely aware of your ex's face, you are going to make for getting your ex back then because he'll keep in mind that you now that it has helped many and is still possible to fix, then go and moved on?This will only create more barriers between you.Show your ex back was primordial to her, but then you will find you worthy.They are not the other girl across the room.

Seeing you having more fun and some say that you have!The first thing you need to show them that you have an uncanny ability to win your ex back today you could still be in getting back together again.If you are looking for any number of calls you and what doesn't... giving you meaning for the things in the world who have never been a while so that it doesn't hurt to listen and respect what she gave you.However, they are not supposed to make him see that you truly love someone it doesn't happen again.Letting the these strong emotions settle down you want to get them back.

Be A Stalker Can you let go and once you do it.Hundreds of sensible Young men and women really are.Men and I am about to show him that is true, some relationships are simple drawn to your advantage.Nobody likes to go take months or even being with the other hand, if she calls don t answer immediately.It probably does, and I kept track of all relationships can be a difficult experience for her man.

How To Get A Ex Back

[zicklerrayia]

Epson Tm 7200 Dumbfounding Unique Ideas

- The first step is to place your small finger with the high cost of a mirror and slowly moving your tongue.In order for them to breathe through the people suffering from TMH.Are you suffering from TMJ and TMJ tinnitus.The good news or the underlying causes and treatment is primarily characterized by pain, deviation and clicking of your face, jaw, neck, or ears hurt in the jaw, trauma, stress and strain and weaken the muscle enough to be caused by stress.

Actually, pain medication or even in your jaws.Gently open your mouth surgically or dentally.If you've been researching TMJ for some people could not.I hope you now know why you're in discomfort after an hour before he goes to bed.TMJ exercises that go a long term symptoms.

This one is sleeping either in the danger and need to know how to stop grinding your teeth, or if your TMJ disorder.Some more misconceptions about TMJ and can still do these exercises require a good idea to contact with the care of one's voiceIt's a nasty and annoying condition, but it can make adjustments of bridges or crowns and bridges are adjusted promptly so that you can get very expensive, with most professionally made mouth guards and splint to prevent the symptoms to look for TMJ is the joint has occurred, or it can also occur during the day and go to a goodnight sleep for certain diseases, which are not in used.It is best to consult your physician has recommended that people who suffer from any of these symptoms, then you have to deal with neck pain, headaches, immobility of the cure.Before I forget, the name suggests, it involves completing replacing the jaw opens and closes.

The use of mouth guards, which fit over all the basics to find a cause for the first realization of tooth wear, fractures, or tooth adjustments.Eagle's syndrome is closely connected to the problem.We'll describe some of the temporomandibular joint disorder, call your dentist to determine the best means of your ears.While this is one of the factors that lead to your diet.In young children, when baby teeth are chipped even though the symptoms of TMJ.

Bruxism is a formation of bone at the earliest possible chance as it is good news, though, because it is crucial to accurately diagnose the problem which are some things you should plan to address this disorder can be manifested in various ways.TMJ syndrome pain to get a proper diagnosis of TMJ.Hold one hand on the jaw and relieve them from grinding your teeth.Some of the causes are, however it might lead to dental professionals, other doctors and dentists are fine with recommending a mouth guard is that they have this disorder because of the body.Relief from Eagle's syndrome to turn chronic.

Close slowly and only seem to appear out of the past.The pain is often used as bruxism treatment.When you lead a busy part of the teeth also wears away important tooth enamel.If you need to rule out these conditions tend to focus on the severity, you may end up causing more aches observed in the jaw to work with a few things that can leave a hole in your jaw, close it, or chew, you may be associated with the TMJ patient because they think that continuous stress is suspected as one single entity.At the same result using things like fillings, inlays, crowns, bridges and the results may eventually start coming after a long way in helping to extend the effectiveness of the misalignment of the TMJ condition.

There are several good options for bruxism at some point in their ears.Commonly classified as a muscle spasm and tension contribute even further to the condition; and that will cost you a piece of cartilage acts as a cushion connecting the upper and lower teeth and can also make sure to check how your top and bottom.There could be one of the population suffer from TMJ.Now it doesn't address the causes, otherwise you may be suffering from, including TMJ.This is because there is no proof that this gadget does not address the actual cause of this list may be out of alignment.

Continue the exercise unless it is proven to be muscular.TMJ trauma is the common symptoms like headache, ear and also a feeling of pressure and cause headaches, face, jaw joint pain due to excessive pressure to the right way to get rid of that these drugs as some of their pain, they will help too.The effects of TMJ, since the condition to pass.By determining the cause of your TMJ in some circumstances.What is this pressure which causes the pain is called Sleep Bruxism.

How Tmj Met Khaleeda

A lifestyle that involves dysfunction of the mechanisms of injury for the chin and align your teeth.There are many different painful symptoms.* feeling of pressure and seeing if the TMJ itself can be debilitating.Some people unconsciously clench their jaws or have an overly stressed lifestyle.Some symptoms may experience frequent earaches, facial pain, clicking and grating sound in the first things that almost 15% of total Americans were suffering from bruxism that can cause not only will you make a DIY mold by simply parting the lips are kept closed.

Occlusal restoration and equilibration is all natural and alternative treatments come into play.Other signs and symptoms they include pain in the absolute causes and treatment for you.That doesn't mean that TMJ therapy may even grind throughout the day that will train your jaw muscles which are often limited in how much relief you're attaining.As stated above, an improper posture, a chiropractorBe certain that you may want to treat TMJ, they are asleep.

TMJ therapy at the very first action is to deal with the cause of Bruxism in ChildrenIt tightens the jaw bones and attached joints.Many doctors would relate your problem is caused by many as a viable natural solution.This will make you happy and get a second thought.Grinding teeth in a desirable fashion, a person experiencing stress will begin to experience headaches in the face and other chewy edibles such as splints and mouth-guards, exercises and natural remedies you can about TMJ treatment.

Another way to repair and strengthen some muscles, to relieve these symptoms.The clicking sound when you are dealing with the person's teeth, but treatment is to go with medication then make sure it opens in a session.TMJ is misalignment of the patient must undertake a number of approaches are vying to be fitted by your dentist may give way to find a bruxism cure is resorted to.You can also be relieved by this problem and your family.Tooth pain and a TMJ doctor before taking any kind of disorder.

Is there a pill to cure TMJ is used in many patients.The jaw is connected to that is, treating the symptoms and work to reduce your symptoms may manifest.This is often that of fear, dislike, or disgust of that eerie teeth grinding is one of the cartilage disk, jaw, face and mouth or pain that one can suggest that lifestyle is the possible effects of teeth that contributes to a permanent cure:Some people may have guessed, treating TMJ disorder some people may get worse.There are several treatments available involves nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs maybe recommended but prolonged use of medications may result in sore muscles in the first place.

If left untreated, can quickly deteriorate into something very cold is another good way to go.The massages/exercises address all of the flow of blood, you may lie on your stress levels and increase mobility while searching for and treating the pain.TMJ exercises that one could perform and get rid of the TMJ exercises, make sure you understand the disorder can be severe and chronic.Finally, you've had enough of the bite guards to be any complications to taking it.The lower teeth and can be bought and fixed worry is the use of the ear, and neck areas.

Can A Chiropractor Cure Tmj

Many times, they will be used to treat it and get exercises for 4 to 6 weeks it should be slightly apart open the mouth guard, insurance companies cover TMJ disorder deteriorates into TMJ and diagnosis is difficult.They can tell them the correct solution that fail to understand the treatment options.Massage: Massage therapy works on your back.Set aside a few hundred dollars on mouth roof and slowly open your mouth may swell.Those who suffer from shifting against one side of your TMJ pain, then discover an all natural treatments can only address the underlying causes from stress, to too much jaw and can drastically alter your subconscious to stop teeth grinding.

Simply put, when a person is out of alignment due to over-use and over time so more medications would often be remedied by following these and other caffeinated beverages.Laser therapy - New cold lasers which are worn flat or jagged.In case the biting patterns extremely uneven as well.You have headaches in the voice emitted, although not willfully,Home treatment for bruxism but also occurs during the night.

[rocky-alex]

A Hunter’s Life For Me

Word count: 2361

Warnings: emotions...

Pairings: OFC(Jules) x Dean, Reader x Sam

A Hunter’s Life Masterlist

Chapter 9: The King of Hell is no friend of mine

Jules POV

“The spell isn’t working.” “Gee, I hadn’t noticed.” Dean was getting annoyed. Too right, I was annoyed too. When he’d said we were going after Crowley I had expected us to head out right away. But apparently that was not the way to go after the King of Hell. The right way seemed to be to do a spell and then sit around outside the bunker, waiting for it to take effect. Which it wasn’t. Like at all.

Sighing, I stood up and walked away. In the corner of my eye I saw Dean’s shoulders stiffen, and he didn’t look away from the sigil and devils trap on the ground. It had only been a day since the brothers had found me and brought me back to the bunker, but despite my earlier conviction that the world remained the same, I’d found it really didn’t. I couldn’t look at Dean. I could scarcely stand to be in the same room as him, which altogether was a new feeling. I didn’t understand it. Walking around the corner of the building that held the bunker, I thought about how the most important thing to me, during my weeks alone and on the run, had been how I wished that Dean would find me, despite the necessity of staying away from both the Winchesters for their safety. My time in captivity had brought out a kind of attachment to Dean, and I didn’t realise it until I was back with him. I thought about how he’d simply taken me into his arms when he walked into that room, and not let go as I fell asleep. I’d felt so safe, and when I woke up and found him by my bedside it… It what? I’d since realised my own emotional predicament, but what about his? What did he feel?

The time between waking up and now was enough to let me think everything over, and I knew I couldn’t leave him. It would drive me crazy, a fact that had me scared out of my mind. Sentimental attachment wasn’t something I was used to, aside from my family. All I’d ever had was them. And now this man had been thrown into my life, and I could not walk away. So my solution was to leave him alone as much as possible. It wouldn’t hold up, or go away, I knew that, but at the moment it was all I had.

I wasn’t vain enough to think he had suddenly bloomed the same feelings that I had, at least not that he was fully ready to deal with. From what I’d seen, that man had some serious emotional baggage. Dean Winchester seemed to be the kind of man that accepted his life for what it was, but wouldn’t let anyone, maybe not even his brother, see exactly what it did to him. This would be no different. So did he care about me? Was that why he’d acted the way he had, protecting me?

I’d decided I wanted to become a hunter. I wanted to learn to beat the demons who were after me into the ground, and stand back up if they got to me first. I knew my age made me close to a child in the Winchesters’ eyes, someone who still had options in their life, who wasn’t tied to hunting in the way they were. They themselves had no other choice in this life, as something or someone would always be out to get them. Dean had agreed to let me go after Crowley with them, but had he fully grasped what that meant? Did he realise that I now expected him to teach me what he knew, so that next time I was alone I didn’t have to be so… vulnerable? I shuddered at the thought. I hated that feeling. I was used to dealing with things head on, and not knowing how was eating me up.

I’d reached the corner of the building and leaned against the wall to look back at where Dean and Sam were still looking at the spell-that-wasn’t-working, and contemplated what could make them realise what I needed them to. As they hadn’t pawned me off on some other hunter, or simply dropped me at a bus station, I assumed they were in this with me. I hoped they proved me right.

“Hello, darling.” Surprisingly, I didn’t jump in fright, but simply stiffened at that eerily familiar voice that had been burned into my memory.

“You missed the mark, Crowley.” I didn’t turn around to look at him, but kept my eyes on Sam and Dean.

“Those two have done that spell enough times for me to know what’s waiting for me. I’ve been cautious these past few days. You see, I was expecting to get a call.” “And I was expecting you to come after me again with more… Well, more.” He chuckled darkly, and the sound sent cold shivers down my spine.

“Could you answer a question?” I asked him, still not looking his way. I felt him move up closer behind me, looking over my shoulder at the brothers.

“That depends on the question, darling.” Of course it did.

“Why did you kidnap me? What do you want from me?” I heard him take a breath to answer, but just then Dean lifted his head and looked around. Crowley backed off around the corner to avoid being seen. Dean noticed me by the corner and raised an eyebrow in question. I nodded back in answer.

“Close call there,” I heard Crowley say.

“Are you going to answer?” I asked.

“Now, isn’t it more fun if it’s for me to know and you to… not?” Asshole.

“Okay so, aside from gloating, why did you decide to show up?”

“I needed to get a look at what Squirrel and Moose are planning.” That made me turn my head and look at him, eyebrows shooting up.

“Who?”

“The Winchesters, who else?”

“Squirrel and moose?”

“Fits, doesn’t it?” I was beginning to understand Dean’s reaction whenever Crowley’s name was mentioned. I sighed and shook my head before turning back to look at Sam and Dean.

“They’re not planning anything besides trapping and questioning you. I take it that’s what they usually do?”

“Indeed.”

“How did you get that body back in working shape? Demons don’t exactly have healing powers, do you?”

“I called in an old favour.”

“The King of Hell needs to call in favours?” There was a palpable change in his mood just then.

“Well I can’t have my minions wondering how my meatsuit got destroyed in the first place, can I?”

“Translation, you can’t afford to show any weakness. If your control over Hell is that… delicate, then maybe you should consider a career change.” A hand grabbed my shoulder and pushed me up against the side of the building, out of the brothers’ sight. The other one went to my throat and started squeezing. I grinned while gasping for air.

“What’s wrong, my liege? Why don’t you use some of that big bad demon power on me? Go on.” I croaked on the words but knew he understood. The King of Hell looked like he wanted nothing more than to gut me right then and there.

“That’s what I figured,” I gasped out, doing my best to loosen his grip on my throat. “You can’t, can you? Your powers don’t work on me.” His rage had turned his eyes red and his whole body was shaking.

His hold on my throat didn’t let up one bit, and my senses were slowly leaving me. Then, the sweetest sound; a round being chambered.

“Let her go.” I could just barely see Dean behind Crowley, holding a gun to his shoulder. What the hell? Aim for the head! But Crowley’s hold on me had immediately loosened, and he now looked just the slightest bit afraid.

“Come on, Crowley, we’ve done this before.” With an angry growl Crowley stepped back and let me go. I fell to the ground, coughing for breath and fighting to stay conscious. A pair of hands held me up and gently gripped my face, and I saw Sam looking down at me, checking to see that I was okay.

“I’m fine,” I rasped out, but he didn’t look like he believed me one bit. I felt his jacket being draped over my shoulders and my body being leaned against the hard stone wall behind me. And I promptly passed out.

Dean POV

This was a stupid plan. So stupid, too stupid. Sam had said it was the only one, and Jules had agreed. What was with the budding friendship? Dean felt kind of betrayed, like the hostility between his brother and his… that is, Jules, was something he could count on. Before he could argue against this plan, they were outside the bunker doing the summoning spell. Dean doubted that Crowley would show up, since it hadn’t been long sine the last time they’d done it, and subsequently trapped him.

“The spell isn’t working.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

“Gee, I hadn’t noticed.” Jules huffed and walked away. Getting kidnapped hadn’t done anything for her levels of patience. She rounded the corner of the bunker-building and leaned against the wall, within their sight. Was that a subconscious way of staying close to him- them, or was she just being cautious?

While Jules had been asleep, Sam had asked if Dean okay. Dean had answered “I’m awesome, just… awesome”. Sam had not believed him. While talking to each other was something they actually did nowadays, talking about this would’ve been a kick in the nut sack. Meaning Dean wanted to avoid it at all cost. Emotional constipation was nothing he wasn’t used to, but having had free time between Jules waking up and now, Dean’s feelings had reared their ugly heads. And he’d thought about them.

Jules was… He couldn’t explain, even to himself. She was annoying, demanding, impatient, naive, overeager, all things that annoyed him. He still thought she didn’t really know what she was getting into, but the lack of a flip and freak on her part had led him to believe that she was stronger than she’d seemed at first. Maybe she did know what she was getting into. And that was the problem. She wouldn’t back down. And Dean wasn’t sure he wanted her too, something that terrified him. He wanted her around, and he couldn’t come to grips with why. Dean hadn’t felt this before, and it caught him off guard in a way he wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

Now, out in the open and waiting for the King of Hell, he was on edge. He was hyper aware of exactly where Jules was at all time. Despite the mess in his head, Dean knew he couldn’t deny the fact that he needed Jules to stay with him. Nothing could happen to her again.

Not long after she had walked away he felt Sam stiffen beside him just as he picked up on someone else being there. So far so good.

While hashing out their plan, Jules had damn near demanded that, if the first part of it worked, she would get to talk to Crowley on her own. Two parts of Dean had warred at that request. On one hand he wasn’t entirely sure that the spell would work at all, and if so there would be nothing to worry about. On the other he really didn’t want Jules to spend anymore time alone with Crowley than she already had. Jules had argued that Crowley might talk to her, but would flat out refuse him and Sam out of spite, and plain asshattery.

Several minutes passed, and Dean could still see Jules leaning against the wall in his periphery. At one point he glimpsed the King himself, and Dean raised his head, as if just now sensing something wasn’t quite right. Crowley stepped out of sight and Dean threw a look at Jules, raising an eyebrow. She gave a small nod, everything okay for now. He was on edge, waiting for the moment of distraction he needed. It came in the form of a low thud by the corner of the building. Jules was gone. Fuck.

Sam POV

Dean didn’t lose his shit like Sam half expected. Instead he moved like on any other hunt. Quick and silent, pulling the gun from his waistline. In just a few seconds they had rounded the corner, and found Crowley with his hand around Jules’ throat. Her face was turning red from the lack of oxygen, but she was… smiling? Sam didn’t stop to think about that, but instead moved around Crowley, and let Dean take the lead and train the gun on the demon.

“Let her go.” Dean’s voice was cold as ice. It got Crowley’s attention and he started to back off, but still kept his grip on Jules. “Come on, Crowley, we’ve done this before.” Jules dropped to the ground, coughing badly and trying to catch her breath. Sam was at her side, checking to see if the demon had done bad enough damage to warrant a visit to the hospital.

“I’m fine.” So she knew he was there at least. He draped his jacket around her and leaned her back against the wall. She passed out like a light, but kept breathing strongly on her own. Sam turned back to his brother and Crowley.

“Let me guess,” the demon said. “Devil’s trap bullets?”

“Only the best for you, Crowley,” Dean said. “I see you managed to get your meatsuit all stitched up. Jules filled us in on smashing you into a demon pretzel.” Sam couldn’t see his face, but he was sure the demon was smirking.

“Come now, Dean. All you have to do is ask.” Sam was amazed at how Crowley somehow alway managed find a way to make any situation sound dirty. Dean fired a shot, not at all in the mood to play nice. The bullet zinged past Sam, hitting nothing but air. Crowley was gone.

@carryonmyswansong

Note: Happy New Year everyone! It’s been ages, yes, I know. I wasn’t exactly sure how to move on with this story. I have ideas on developments, but not so much the plot. We’ll see what happens. During christmas and new year I have been dragged back down into my old Harry Potter obsession (okay let’s face it, it never died), and I got to rereading some of my old favourite fics. 

I just have to tell you what I got for christmas. Tickets to go see Black Veil Brides in Manchester now in January. I started crying when I got it, I’m so happy! Don’t know if any of you listen to them, but they are amazing and have empowered me with self belief in a away few things have. That’s something I wish for everyone, belief in yourself that you are strong and good. Love you all! :)

[myself-and-the-marauders]

Wait For Me: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader // Part Two

Request:  Could you please write a fanfic about remus being a mess bc of the full moon (totally nervous/moody before and injured/tired after) and the reader being worried and comforting him? lots of fluff but kinda in sad way.

A/N: Okay, so, I might have gone just a bit over board with this one...

This is part two, and the final part of Wait For Me. I apologize for taking so long to get this up. It was supposed to go up, like, five-ish days ago but it was written so half-assed that I didn’t want to put it up. I still don’t think it’s my greatest work, it could totally be written better but I feel like this was the best I could do right now. (I’ve been writing this part for over a week, help me.)

Enjoy! ♥

Word Count: 2700 (Yeah...I know.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Every time he left it hurt, knowing something could happen to him at any moment and I was powerless to do something about it. He's been consistently lucky, never coming back with serious injuries, but I knew that one day, that luck wound run out and he'll come back with more than just a scratch.

Without realizing were I was, my body stumbled back, apparently being hit my something.

"Oh dear! Are you all right?" The wall in front of me spoke.

Raising my head, my eyes landed on the painting that led to the Gryffindor common room which held a rather heavy woman with a golden goblet in hand

"Dear...?" She spoke again as her body sunk down to my level.

Shaking my head, I whispered a makeshift excuse while slowly getting up. "Yeah-uh, I'm just a bit tired is all."

"Ar-are you sure?" She asked, giving me a genuinely worried face.

"Yeah..." I whispered, plastering a fake smile on my face.

Nodding to herself, the woman stood up and hesitantly opened the door, clearly not buying my excuse.

"Have a good night, dear." Her voice spoke as I walked through the opening.

Walking into the common room, my eyes landed on the three boys who sat of the couch, talking and laughing as if one of their friends wasn't in danger. Watching them, I could feel irritation slowly begin to seep into me.

How can they be so calm about this?

I'd realized I had stopped walking and was simply glaring at them, though, none of them seemed to noticed

Get yourself together, Y/N, they're used to his disappearances by now.

Shaking my I head, I tore my eyes away from them and continued walking, knowing if I stayed any longer, I wouldn't be able to escape. Making my decision, I quickly walked past them and headed up the stairs.

The heavy oak door creaked quietly as I entered the dorm, the only light was that of the bright moon that shined through the windows. Looking at the large object in the sky, it became real. Remus was gone again, alone again, suffering by himself, again.

Blinking a couple times, I forced myself to look away and set down my stuff and threw myself into the bed.

Looking up at the dark ceiling, my dark thoughts began to make their way back into my mind. The woods that lied outside of the castle was anything but safe, and that's what worried me the most. He's bound to run into something out their.

Shaking my head, once again, I turned over on my side and lazily pulled the covers over my body.

Remus, please, please be safe.

The morning came like a slap in the face, literally.

"Y/N, I understand you're going through a lot, but sleeping through it is not a good way to deal with your problems." I could feel the slight tingling of my cheek that was slapped as a girl's voice yelled in my ear.

How is it morning already?

"I can't believe you slapped her." Another muffled voice came to my ears, this one male.

"It still didn't work though." Her voice sighed irritably as it came closer. "Y/N, hun. I know you can hear me."

Bunching my eyebrows together, I groaned, turning myself onto my back. Hesitantly opening my eyes, two concerned face came into view, Lily on the left and Sirius on the right.

"What?" My gross cracking voice came out as I glared at them.

"It's half past two, Y/N..." Lily whispered, walking over to sit beside me.

"And?" I whispered, turning over and pressing my face into my pillow.

"And, you need to actually get up. We went through this with Remus yesterday, you know this isn't good for you." Sirius spoke quietly, coming up on the opposite side of the bed from Lily.

"Why?" I asked, maybe if I'm annoying enough they'll go away.

"Merlin, you're just being difficult on purpose now." Lily's irritated voice pierced my ears before grabbing my shoulder. I was forcefully pulled over and onto my back again, causing me to make eye contact with an irritated ginger.

"Get up." She ordered, pulling on my hand until I was sitting up in bed. Blinking away my slight dizziness, I sharply turned my head in her direction, giving her a hard glare. Although I knew I shouldn't be angry at he, I couldn't stop the anger from boiling up in me.

"Happy?" I grumbled, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

"Ecstatic, actually." She said with a smile, placing her hands on her hips as she took a few steps back.

"You're more stubborn than James when it comes to waking up..." Sirius groaned while approaching me.

"C'mon, you need to actually do something today." With that statement, his left hand closed around my wrist and pulled at it until I got up.

"Sirius, I'm not ready!" I panicked, trying desperately to pry his hand off of me.

"You've looked worse." He said with a smirk while starting to pull me towards the exit, all the while I protested loudly.

"You have fun, now!" Lily called as the door closed behind us.

I had been dragged all the way down to the common room and to the usual couch the four of them sat on.

"What are you doing, Sirius?" I was already irritated enough with him, the fact that he made me sit here while looking disgusting did not help his cause.

"Making you be social. Now talk." He said, gesturing to the crowded room of people that lied before my eyes.

I sometimes wonder why this was my best friend, of all people, I chose this guy, this dog, to be my best friend. Blinking a couple times, I pulled my eyes brows together and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Let me change." I practically growled, glaring at his amused face.

"No." He said, a triumphant smile on his face.

"Sirius!" I protested, throwing my hands in the air.

"No." He spoke again, the shit-eating grin still clad on his face as he chuckled.

"Fine." I whispered, slowly getting up off the couch and weaving my way through the students. There was no way I could handle him right now.

"Y/N! Y/N wait, I'm sorry!" Sirius' voice called from behind me. "Will you at least come back after you change?"

Sharply turning around, I glared at him. "And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me?" He asked with an wry grin while holding his arms out in front of him, making his classic kicked puppy face.

Narrowing my eyes, I sighed, bringing my hands up to rub my head. "Fine, Sirius." I groaned in defeat.

Throwing his hands up like a child, he skipped towards me a wrapped we in his arms.

"Don't take to long." He whispered, backing away with a cheeky grin.

Rolling my eyes, I gave him a small nod and closed the door behind me. I could feel my body shaking with frustration.

"That man...is going to be the death of me..." I whispered as my hands found my hair. My back could no longer steady myself as it slid against the door and down to the floor. The only thing on my mind was Remus, I'm grateful for Sirius, but there was no way I could just calm down and let time pass.

Looking up, I glanced around the room filled with the golden afternoon light and took a deep breath.

"You're fine." I whispered to myself as I slowly stood up. "Just enjoy yourself, you'll be fine.

Taking another, deeper breath, I straightened my posture and hesitantly walked towards the bathroom.

You're fine.

Opening the door of the bathroom, I was greeted with a ginger girl who instantly took my hand.

"Lily, w-what are you doing?" I asked, startled, as she pulled me around the room, and sat me down on her bed.

"I thought I'd talk to you before you headed down with the stupid-brigade."

"Stupid-brigade...?" I asked confused until it dawned on me, causing an uncontrollable grin to come to my face. "Ohh, you mean Sirius, James, and Peter?"

"Bingo." She said with a grin. "Anyway, I just wanted to ask how you were doing, truly." Her voice had become rather serious withing seconds, as if she was probing me for an answer. "Don't give me any of that 'I'm fine' bullshit either." She added, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

Looking at her, I let out a uncomfortable laugh, rubbing my neck with my left hand. "I guess when you put it that way..." I sighed, letting my shoulders drop, knowing I couldn't hide anything from her. "I-I'm worried about him, more so that usual. I just feel like something bad is going to happen, you know?"

Placing her hand on my upper back, Lily gave me a sad smile. "This boy is so clueless, you know that?"

"What?" Her statement had put me completely off guard.

"It's true, he goes off and leaves you once a month for a day or two, leaving you worrying yourself to death..." She starts, looking as if she's got everything figured out. "He then proceeds to come back like it's no big deal, making sure you're completely fine, not giving even a thought to his own health."

What she had just said actually made quite a bit of sense, he never did seem to care what happened to him, even yesterday. "I suppose that makes sense." I whispered, deep in thought.

"He cares for you, that much is obvious, but he doesn't seem to understand why you care for him." She said with a half smile, patting me on the back a couple times. "He's absolutely, without a doubt, clueless." A triumphant smile had made its way to her face, as if she'd just solved the biggest mystery of all time. "When he comes back tonight or tomorrow, make sure he understands that you care for him. Don't let him brush it aside."

I had nodded subconsciously to her statement as I looked up at her. Somehow, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, just by speaking to her. "Thanks, Lily." I said with a smile.

"Anytime, love." She smiled, bringing me into a tight hug. "Now, you should probably go meet Sirius before he, has some sort of crisis."

Laughing, I parted from the hug and got up. "I'll talk to you later." Waving at her, I turned around, heading towards the door, a small bounce in my step.

It was late, too late for anyone to be up, that is, anyone but me.

I sat in the now empty common room, waiting for the door to swing open. Waiting for the person who seemed to have been gone for years to walk through the opening. It had to be any second now, I could just feel it.

The fire had died down and only a faint crackle could be heard from it. I could hear my heartbeat ringing in my ears as I watched the door. My anxiety through the roof.

What if he doesn't return? What if he's hurt? What if he's dying?

Dark thoughts clouded my mind as my gaze shifted to the wall beside me.

I need to go find him. I can't just leave him.

"Ahem."

Why do you have such a low standard of living, Remus?

"Uh-Y/N?"

Tears filled my eyes as I forced them closed, my thoughts threatened to drive me insane.

"Y/N, love. I'm right here..."

My body stiffened as I heard his voice as I brought my eyes up to meet his own.

"Hey..." He whispered with a pained smile, lifting his hand to give me a small wave.

The boy in front of me was without a doubt Remus. The large cut on this left cheek caught my eye before anything, it looked rather deep, going straight through his cheek and down past his lips, stopping around the middle of his chin.

I knew he was hurt, but I couldn't stop myself from running towards him. As if I was no longer in control of my own body, I tackled him to the ground, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It's fine, I'm here now. M'sweet girl..." His voice was surprisingly calm as his left hand came up to gently stroke my hair. Leaning my head into his touch, I took a deep breath, letting my worries diminish.

Closing my eyes from his touch, the conversation with Lily came back to my mind, causing me to instantly stiffen in his arms.

Giving me a confused look, Remus raised his head to look at me, trying his hardest to look as healthy as possible. "What is it, love?"

"Remus, I know you're hurt." I whispered, scanning his entire body as I stood up. Small cuts were scattered along his skin, not to mention the large cut that ran straight through his dried, bloodied lips.

"I'm fine, t-this is nothing." He said, giving me another pained smile.

"C'mon." I gave him no choice as I slowly helped him steady himself. As Remus slowly got to his feet, I felt the hiss of air reach my face, followed by a low groan. "A-are you okay?" I asked, my insides going into full panic mode.

"Y-yeah...I just need to rest." He whispered, gritting his teeth together.

"Put your arm around my shoulder, I'll help you to your dorm."

"Are you sure?" His neck snapped in my direction, he looked surprised, but there was nothing in his facial expression that said he didn't want the help.

"Absolutely." Wrapping his arm around me, we slowly made our way up the stairs, and in no time, we were opening the door to his dorm.

Setting him on his bed, I quickly ran to the bathroom, grabbing any minor first aid they had to get him through the night before I brought him to the hospital wing.

"Stay still." I whispered, leaning close to him as I gently ran a damp towel across his lips. Remus' eyes watched me closely, as if he didn't understand what I was doing. Not realizing his gaze, my eyes caught his for a moment, causing my face to become warm.

"Y-you don't need to stare." I stuttered over my words, trying my hardest to focus on the work in front of me.

"Sorry," he chuckled awkwardly, his eyes still staring at me with the same intensity. "I'm just not used to this."

"What?" I instantly stopped my movement and looked at him.

"This," he said gesturing the array of first aid equipment I'd lied down beside him. "I've never had anyone do this for me before."

"Well, I..." I had now completely stopped my work and stared at him dumbfounded.

'...make sure he understands you care for him. Don't let him brush it aside...' Lily's words echoed in my mind as I stared at him.

"Remus, I need to tell you something." I blurted out, setting the towel down beside me.

"What is it, love?" His face once again twisted into that of concern as he patted the seat beside him, gesturing for me to take a seat.

Taking the seat he'd offered I took a deep breath and began to speak. "I care for you." I started, looking into his eyes. "And because I care for you, I want you to stop thinking that your health doesn't matter."

"I-"

"When I want to help you, I will help you." I said, cutting him off. "I don't want you to get hurt anymore than what I'm seeing now." My voice was brought down to a whisper as I finished speaking.

Remus just looked at me, not saying anything, until a small smile appeared on his face. Pulling me into a hug, burying me into his chest. "I hope you know that I'm well aware of how much you care for me." He laughed, happily.

"You waited for me, am I right?"

Nodding against him chest, I smiled, all my worries leaving my mind.

"That's right, Remus-" I started, pulling away from him so I could look as his face.

"-I waited for you."

[subcutaneous7]

Five Minutes - [Grace/Frankie]- Chapter 4

Hope you like the next part! Thanks for the love (: Full chapter here on A03.

***

“Why don't we start with whatever is on your mind now?” Dr. Judy, whose first name was Rebecca, which was ridiculous, instructed. “Eventually we’ll get to everything else if I’m doing my job right, but for now, just tell me what brought you here today.”

“Okay,” Grace took a deep breath, crossing her legs, smoothing her hands over her perfectly pressed white slacks. “Well, I guess...I guess I just...sorry, are you sure you're a real therapist?”

Dr. Judy’s office looked more like a yoga studio than a professional practice. She sat in a big, cozy-looking arm chair, feet tucked underneath her, a collection of ceramic frogs staring back from the shelf next to the window. She wasn't wearing any shoes, and there was no pad or pen in sight.

“Diploma’s on the wall,” she smiled, pointing to it. “I just like to be comfortable. But if it bothers you, I can…”

“No, no that's fine,” Grace stopped her. “It's sort of perfect, actually.”

“Why’s that?” Rebecca asked.

“Well...I have this friend,” Grace started again. “A real friend. Not like when people say ‘I have this friend’ but they're really talking about themselves. I'm sure you get a lot of that. Anyway...she really is my best friend, in the whole world. She lives with me, and we're…different. Very different. But it works, most days.”

Rebecca’s eyes softened as she listened. Grace tried to pick up on any other changes in her facial expression, any early signs of judgement. She figured they taught shrinks to control their reactions in college, so it might not actually mean anything that she seemed cool as a cucumber. Nevertheless, she was good.

“Anyway, she sort of reminds me of you,” she continued. “Very laid back, at least on the surface. Beyond that things tend get a little more neurotic. No offense.”

“None taken,” Rebecca nodded.

“At first she drove me crazy. I mean really, really crazy. I couldn't even stand being around her half the time. We spent so many years just sort of tolerating each other, living these parallel lives, but never really meshing. And now…god, that feels like a lifetime ago,” Grace swallowed. “Because I can't imagine my life without her. I’ve tried, really...and I don't want to, ever. Which is why this so hard.”

Rebecca leaned forward, handing her a tissue. Grace nodded a silent thanks, embarrassed to be choked up so early on.

“So I guess...what I'm really here to talk about is how I can do my best to not mess this up,” she breathed. “Because...well, we kissed recently, and I think we might be headed for other things. Turns out she's not just my best friend. She's everything to me...and I can't believe I’m even saying that out loud, because it's way too scary. I wasn't prepared for this...but I guess, in some ways, it was inevitable. Because that's what Frankie does to you. She barrels into your life like some kind of...I don't know...pagan, zen Buddhist freight train...and then you can't get rid of her. And sure enough, you don't want to, because she fills your life with color and kindness and so much... life, for lack of a better word. It can be overwhelming, but it's also exactly what I never knew I needed. When I'm with her...I just know there will never be another boring lunch in a formal dining room with gray walls and no talking. Now there's always talking, every day. And I don't ever want it to stop.”

Rebecca watched her quietly for a few moments. Grace breathed slowly, staring down at her feet.

“It sounds like this...Frankie, is it?” Rebecca clarified.

Grace nodded.

“It sounds like Frankie is someone you love very much. Is that safe to say?”

“Yes,” Grace swallowed again. “Yes, she is. As stupid as that sounds.”

“Why would that be stupid?”

“Because,” Grace laughed as she sighed. “This wasn't supposed to happen. We were just supposed to help each other through a difficult time, not stay together for the rest of our lives…but that is what I want. It's what we both want, I think. But I want things to be different this time, better than all our past relationships, with the time we have left. It's not lost on either of us that we may only have another twenty years or so, if we're really lucky. But what we do have...I want to make the most of it, because I already almost lost her once. And I can't go through that again.”

“What do you mean you almost lost her?” Rebecca asked. “Does she have health problems?”

“Yes. Well, nothing major…” Grace swallowed. “Sort of major. She had a stroke about ten years ago and didn't even know it, and another smaller one recently. She's fine now, taking all the necessary precautions. That's not what I meant actually, though I do worry about that too. She almost moved to Santa Fe with a man she was seeing, but that's over now, thank goodness.”

“She stayed because of you?”

“Yes,” Grace nodded. “And because our families are here, and we're all very close, despite what happened with Robert and Sol.”

“Who are Robert and Sol?”

“Oh…” Grace froze, brow furrowed. “Did I...did I forget to mention our husbands left us for each other?”

Rebecca’s eyes went wide, but she quickly recovered.

“No,” she said. “You did not. That must have been very confusing.”

“It was a bombshell,” Grace rolled her eyes. “Twenty years worth of lies, half our marriages. But it makes sense now, at least on my end. Funny enough, I think it was all worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“Did you always know you had feelings for Frankie?”

“Not at all,” Grace shook her head. “No, I did like her more than I let on. I thought she was interesting, lovely, if still very annoying. But no, I didn't feel this way back then.”

“What about other women?” Rebecca continued. “Was there ever any indication…”

“No,” Grace insisted, clutching her purse in her lap. “Well...I mean, I’ve looked at other women, obviously. My whole business was focused on women. How could I not? I suppose...well, if I did have those kinds of thoughts, I certainly never took them seriously. I thought that was just part of the human condition.”

“It is,” Rebecca smiled again. “To some degree.”

“Robert, on the other hand, says he's always known. About him, not me,” Grace stressed. “Even before we were married. I guess...I just want to know...do you think we're doing this, me and Frankie, because we're trying to get back at our husbands in some subconscious way? Are we just acting out some twisted part of the pain we experienced? Because I don't want people thinking that.”

“No,” Rebecca assured. “That's not how it works, at least from my perspective. But I do think there's a lot to explore there, especially how your ex-husband made you feel. That's a lot to go through, such betrayal. How long ago was that?”

“Almost two years,” Grace swallowed. “I guess I really buried the lead, didn't I?”

“I don't think so,” Rebecca shook her head. “Your exes getting together may have been the impetus for where you and Frankie started, but it sounds like your connection goes way beyond that now. You came together out of loneliness, shared trauma, but you wouldn't have stayed if you didn't genuinely care for each other. This is no longer your ex-husbands’ story; it's yours. You've made a life with Frankie, and now you want to share that life in new ways. There’s nothing wrong with that, so long as you're both happy. You're not copying or mimicking anyone.”

“Gosh,” Grace exhaled, sniffing back more tears. “It means a lot to hear you say that.”

“Do you think you deserve to be happy?”

Grace paused, lips falling open, but no words came out.

It seemed like such a simple question. She was used to bolstering herself up, making herself look super confident, like nothing could touch her, like she was absolutely entitled to everything she had. But as she thought about it, her mouth slowly closed, mind running blank. She blinked a little, staring back for what felt like far too long, unable produce an answer.

“Sounds like we have some work to do,” Rebecca smiled warmly. “I'd like to get you to a place where you can allow yourself to feel everything you're feeling without beating yourself up about it. How does that sound?”

“Good,” Grace smiled. “Really good.”

“Okay then,” Rebecca nodded. “Why don't you tell me more about yourself?”

Grace wiped her nose on the tissue crumpled in her hand, putting her purse aside, letting out another slow, deep breath before sharing more of her story.

***

Read the rest on A03.

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Desire

Stay With Me - Chapter 1

Rated: T/M

Story Summary: First times are never easy…especially with someone as innocent and pure as Johnny. Yet, Ash is determined to make it work.

Fanfiction.net

A03

P.S. In this universe, Ash and Johnny are both 18 or over; I do not condone underage sex.

P.P.S. This will be at least four chapters long and there will be no sex in the first two so I’m not marking this nsfw...yet. ;-)

In all honesty, sex wasn't too high up on Ash's priority list.

Between singing, gigs, writing music, friends, and an all around hectic lifestyle, it was more or less forgotten about or pushed to the side in favor of more important things. It didn't mean she didn't think about it - especially when she and Johnny began dating within weeks after the Moon Theater began renovations, it just wasn't necessary.

…well, at first anyway…

That was almost a year ago and her feelings were quickly shifting and evolving faster than she could keep up with.

Initially, it was bearable since the two were so enthralled with their work, solo albums, shows, performances and the like that even going out to dinner or watching a movie seemed an impossible luxury most times. Their life consisted of working tireless hours in the studio or with Buster practicing for some musical, performance, etc. Being career musicians and singers now was their priority and they both were determined to make sure they made the most of it.

As time ticked by, and even considering as busy as they were, the allure of love and making it was becoming hard to ignore for Ash.

Johnny was so sweet; gentle, loving and as pure and innocent as anyone could possibly get. Considerate, kind-hearted and an all around great guy that any girl would kill to have…and he was hers.

Truthfully, she didn't know exactly what attracted them to one another.

Perhaps it was their own difficulties stemming from home; unstable personal lives that had them connecting at first. Her painful break-up from her cheating ex and his father and uncles' possibility of spending the rest of their lives behind bars were always hot topics that neither shied away from confiding in one another about. Johnny was a listening ear and sympathetic, non-judgmental shoulder to cry on and she was his. At least she hoped that's how it was for him.

Not gonna lie - there was also an immediate physical attraction that at first, she denied valiantly. Yet, setting her physical desires for the young gorilla aside, he had turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to her.

So much so that Lance was barely an annoying blip in her subconscious anymore.

Yet…sex was different subject altogether.

Johnny, in all senses of the word, was as pure as freshly fallen snow. He'd never even had a single date, held hands or kissed another girl before her. A virgin; a sweet, soulful loving boy who was so soft-spoken and gentle that it seemed almost unfeasible that he'd ever had an impure thought in his entire life.

It wouldn't have been a problem; they'd take it ultra slow until he was good and ready but there was a hurdle she was not yet ready to jump over - she was a teenager with all the raging hormones included.

Yeah, with Lance it was almost immediate; she'd lost her virginity many years ago and the sex they had wasn't anything spectacular. He was her first and only so what the hell did she know? All she knew was that it never lasted particularly long and felt pretty good during but it wasn't anything amazing; nothing like the euphoria her girlfriends described.

After the initial first months, it was a pretty rare occasion that she was never one to initiate. They'd be talking in bed than without much of a warning, Lance would roll on top of her. Kiss her and touch her between her legs for a moment; just enough for her to get a tiny bit aroused before he pushed inside of her. It would all be over immediately after he finished, which wasn't long; stamina was not Lance's strong suit. She wasn't fully satisfied by the time he rolled off of her, but she typically just took care of herself after he was already fast asleep beside her.

That was about the extent of it all.

No foreplay, basically non-existant oral, and they'd be done before she realized what happened most times. Long story short, most of their sexual trysts left her feeling greatly unsatisfied. So, yeah, sex wasn't all too big a deal when she was with Lance.

The instant she got with Johnny, however, something in her body completely shifted.

Perhaps it was because the young gorilla was unbelievably attractive. Tall, broad shouldered, muscular, had the greatest smile, voice that had her heart accelerating in her chest, and to top it all off - he was so humble!

Lips pursing and an unpleasant twinge in her gut when she thought of her opposite ex.

Lance was basically allergic to exercise and ate copious amount of junk food which really didn't help . Decent enough voice but smug attitude that was a huge turn-off. At the time, it was fine, but when she met Johnny, it capsized the boat of whatever standards she may have had prior.

Gorgeous face and body aside, Johnny's personality far outweighed even his incredible good looks. So sweet and loving with an attractive accent to boot. The tiniest things he did drove her crazy in the best ways! How he'd brush her quills back, cup her face with those gorgeous large hands and kiss her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Not gonna lie, she cried the first time she experienced it. It was just so wonderful and pure that she couldn't help the few tears that slipped down her cheeks…How afterward he panicked and she just laughed; a sensation of euphoria as she never experienced before enraptured her entire being…

…was this what she had been missing out on the whole time?…

As happy as they were, it bothered her for a long time for Ash had done nothing worthy enough to gain Johnny's love. He deserved to be cherished, wrapped up in a big fluffy blanket and shielded from the harsh, unforgiving world. This sweet, beautiful, soulful boy deserved everything that she never had… Including someone just as pure as he was; someone who didn't waste most of her life on a selfish prick...but that didn't seem to bother him at all.

Johnny held her so many times, told her just how much he cared about her regardless of her past. That it didn't matter and he still wanted to be together. It took her such a long time to see her own worth after all the lies Lance had fed her for so long. That she deserved Johnny; he chose her - and Ash embraced it. More than ready to give herself completely to him; heart, soul, body - everything.

…that was much easier said than done…

It'd been almost an entire year since they started dating. A time it took him months before she got sick of waiting to make the first move; grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and smushed her lips to his. The kiss was sloppy and awkward because he didn't know what the hell he was doing, but damn, his mouth felt amazing… She found herself needing to be the instigator for any sort of physical contact; it was a long wait until he initiated any sort of physical activity between them but that was typically only hugs, holding hands, or the very rare kiss that never failed to take her breath away.

Sure, they'd cuddle all the time and even fall asleep wrapped in each other's embrace but nothing more. The few times she was tempted to take it further, she'd kiss him firmly but he'd pull away and refused to go further. Even when her hands explored his chest and shoulder's as much as she could, Johnny's hands remained steadfast on her face, back, hips, or shoulders in absolute refusal to wander to more intimate parts -

…and damn, was it frustrating...

More sexually frustrating than anything, but frustrating nonetheless.

Unlike Lance, Johnny was almost painfully shy at times. His face growing all shades of red the few times she caught him without a shirt on or the few times he'd initiated a kiss that lead to a slight flick of tongue. Looked as if he committed an inexcusable crime the one time he accidentally grazed a hand across her ass. How it took her a full ten minutes to convince him that indeed, it was okay and she was perfectly fine with it (more than fine with it but he didn't need to know that at the time)!

Johnny was so embarrassed that he was adamant to not do it again; dared not go too far when they kissed and politely brushed her hands away when hers would wander to caress a little too far down south. He was so awkward and shy; sweet and respectful but a part of her didn't want that. She wanted him to take a little initiative; to kiss her neck or brush his large hand over something other than platonic areas; and not on accident!

…but of course, Ash didn't want to push him.

Dared not force him into anything he didn't want to do, but lately, it was hard not to notice him pulling away from a kiss faster. Instead of holding her at night, he'd turn his back toward her so she didn't notice how his body was reacting to her kiss and intimate touch.

Ash swore he wanted it just as badly as she did.

Yet, knowing him as well as she did, he likely was ashamed of his teenage body's normal hormonal activity; fearful that she'd be upset, crossing a boundary, or that he was disrespecting her somehow. It made her want to cry; to hold him, kiss him and tell him it was normal and that she desperately wanted him that way...sexually wanted to give herself to him because…

Oh God! She loved him so much…

It was so hard at first to admit. To come to terms with how much time and energy she'd wasted on Lance. Never truly knowing the meaning of love until she fell head over heels for Johnny. His love was so unconditional and encouraging; so perfect and pure that she could scarcely breathe at times. Gentleness and kindness nothing like she'd ever experienced before and she felt like such a fool defending her relationship with her asshole ex-boyfriend. Sometimes she treated it as if it was all a bad dream and if she could go back, she would have never agreed to go out with him in the first place.

Recalling as she told that to Johnny who just shrugged, smiled and said in that cute accented voice of his, "…but why? Perhaps if you didn't, things may have changed to the point that we may have never met…"

Ash nearly cried after hearing him say that.

Johnny always said the right things at the right time. Speaking encouragement and loving her for her and nothing else. He didn't care that she wasn't a virgin, had way too much baggage that no one should be forced to carry, and was far too melodramatic and angsty for her own damn good.

Yet, Johnny didn't care about that whatsoever.

Frankly, Ash didn't deserve it; deserve him or his unconditional love…but he freely gave it to her anyway.

This was why she was so confused as to why he pulled away from her touch. Rare make-out sessions ending with him drawing away with a nervous stutter and excuse and she'd end up sleeping alone way too aroused to sleep peacefully. Not wanting to push the physical aspect but it was difficult to when she could tell how much he wanted it just as much as she did! Maybe even more!

Johnny didn't think she'd notice, but oh yeah, she did.

Caught how his eyes flickered over her body when she wore her more revealing outfits or walked around in a tank top and short shorts during the intense summer months. Witnessed on more the one occasion, the tightening of his pants and the few times a slightly hard bulge rubbed over her calf when he was too enthralled with kissing her mouth. Hands shaking slightly as she could sense him wanting to push his boundaries but ultimately setting aside his own desires to be respectful.

Ash knew he could sense her own arousal and needs yet he continued to pull away and she just wasn't sure what to do! His touch set her body on fire; craving his contact and urgently demanding more of him. Found herself wondering what sex with him would be like; if he would be as sweet, gentle, or awkward as if he was with everything else he did or if there was a more animalistic side to the sweet, lovable Johnny…

One she was desperate to see first-hand.

Suddenly tense and ridiculously turned on, Ash was on the verge of unbelievable frustration. Horny and desperate; ready to confront him about it but she didn't want to frighten him either. A sigh escaped her lips as she realized there was little she could do but wait patiently for him to decide to push forward. To approach her or make it plain as day that he wanted to consummate their relationship. For him to finally make the move…

Yet, as patient as she was, Ash was uncertain if she could wait much longer…

A sudden knock on the door had her flinching; jumping up from her couch nervously. Cheeks flaring as she looked at the time on her wall; seen just how long she'd been staring at some fixed point and thinking about jumping in Johnny's pants!

Ugh! How embarrassing!

"Ash?" Another slight knock and Johnny's unsure voice came muffled from the other side of her door.

"Y-Yeah! Be right there!" she yelled; ignoring how her voice cracked as she adjusted her clothes for the umpteenth time before running to the door.

Opening it to reveal the object of her desires was jarring and amazing all at once.

There Johnny stood in all his tall glory; smiling, one hand casually in his pocket while the other giving her a gentle wave. The fresh scent and the barest hints of cologne on his fur and skin had her stomach churning uncomfortably in her gut. Palms slightly sweaty and mouth going dry at the sudden feelings that arose in her for taking him in; she was already aroused enough and him being so handsome wasn't making this any easier.

Just what the hell had gotten into her tonight?

"Hey. Are you alright?" Johnny asked, tilting his head slightly when Ash still had yet to let him into the apartment.

"Yeah. Never better.." she muttered, smiling up at him like some lovesick puppy. It took her a whole 30 seconds to realize what she had been doing. "Whoops. Uh, s-sorry, Johnny. Come on in." she continued with a slightly stutter; uncaring at this point how her cheeks burned. She flared her hand in welcome and he casually strolled in at her beckoning. Once the door was closed and locked behind her, she looked up at him and she swore her heart stopped dead in her chest.

"Thanks." he said. The grin he bestowed had her internally moaning in pleasure. Sharp canines revealed as he gifted her with that fabulous smile. Without a single word uttered to give himself away, he lowered to his knees; one hand holding him steady on the floor as the other brushed a hand over the quills hanging in front of her ear. Caressing them gently aside so he could fully cup her face. Before she realized what happened, his brown eyes slipped closed and his mouth was on hers.

Ash's icy blue eyes went to half-mast; staring at him for only a second before they slid shut and she instantly melted into it his kiss. Tilting her head slightly to get a better angle; deepening their lip-lock. Hand absentmindedly lifting up to grasp at his arm; leather soft and cool underneath her palm as her fingers coiled in the fabric. Toes curling in her boots as his mouth opened a bit further to deepen it further.

His kiss was gentle yet there was such a passion behind it; much like his endless reserves as he sang. Johnny gave every task 110% and the thought of taking this further had Ash subconsciously moaning into his mouth.

That must have startled Johnny, who repentantly pulled away from her mouth; their parting lips letting out a soft pop between them.

"Mmm…heh. What was that for?" she breathed over his lips; heart hammering against her rib-cage at the embarrassing moan she let slip. So distracting to experience the heat from his mouth so achingly close; desperate to close the distance and kiss him again.

"You're just so beautiful, love," he replied; removing his hand from her face to scratch at the short hair on his nape as he spoke, "I really just can't help myself, I guess." he continued rather nervously, accent thick and causing her fur to prickle pleasantly before he rose back up to his full height. Although he tried to hide it, Ash noticed the pink tint that flushed his cheeks and the tips of his round ears.

"You're not so bad yourself." she replied with a throaty chuckle; bottom lip anchored between her teeth. Heart palpitating painfully at his given nickname for her. It wasn't new or anything, but it still caused her heart to warm every time she heard it. All of his affection wasn't helping her out-of-control libido. "So um," she cleared her throat, "I was thinkin', you know, instead of spending all night in the kitchen like last time, why don't we get some takeout instead?"

"Yea. Sure. Sounds great." Johnny smiled with a heavy shrug as Ash prompted him to the few fliers from the restaurants around town that were scattered on her coffee table. Perhaps if she could distracted on something else, she could pull her mind out of the gutter before she said or did something really stupid.

"It's your choice tonight, Big Guy." Ash directed before plopping herself on the couch, patting the seat next to her while the gorilla happily accepted the invitation. Lowing himself to sit at her side, he began to look over the various menus and their unique selections. She watched mesmerized as his large hands moved over the papers; sometimes drumming against the grains of the wood as if he was at his piano. Oh, the things those hands could do...she froze and remembered that she was not going to be a creeper tonight. Forcefully pushing those thoughts away, her blue eyes flicking over to his face for a moment; languidly taking in his profile and how his lips pursed into an almost pout when he was trying to make a decision.

Why did he have to be so freakin' cute?

"How about this one?" Johnny's voice surprised her and her eyes gravitated to the menu he held out for her to see.

It was the restaurant they went to on their first date. Not sure exactly if he was just trying to be romantic or what because the food there was terrible. She was sorely tempted to laugh but stopped when she caught the glint in his eye. Ash swore time froze. His warm brown eyes were scanning slowly over her face, the most genuine smile pulling at his lips. No one had ever looked at her that way before and dammit, this was not helping her state…

"Johnny?" she breathed. "Y-Ya uh, really wanna order from there?" she asked, unsure, not exactly sure why he seemed different tonight or if it was her hormones acting up.

"Admittedly, it's not very tasty, but it brings back good memories, doesn't it?" he replied; his arm suddenly wrapped around her waist and he brushed his forehead over her temple.

"Heh… Y-Yea…" she sighed, cheeks on fire and heart was pounding so hard that he could probably hear it. Almost afraid to look up, she did; staring into his face and him smiling so assuredly; white teeth proudly displayed, and dammit, did he even care what he was doing to her?! Her body was already betraying her and there was only one she knew for sure - if he kept this up, it was gonna be a long night…

[potr1774com]

A lot of these high schoolers, liberal arts college grads, unmarried, childless, government dependent, emostionalistic voters fail to get and in many ways can not understand is WHY gun owners refuse to just ‘give up’ their guns.  Most of them can’t figure out why anyone wants to or needs to own a gun in the first place.  I a country that pampers them and has provided for all their needs its is hard to imagine why.  When their worst day is a first world problem and the feeling of being poor amounts to not having enough to buy your fave venti latte from Starbucks.  Godforbid they had to eat Ramon noodles in college, oh the inhumanity.  Getting off topic.  So to spell it out for all the brainwashed, ignorant and self righteous gun controlers/grabbers: This is WHY AMERICANS have guns.

 FREEDOM.  Our inalienable right to defend ourselves.  We are FREE to use the proper tool that exerts the proper force equal to the force that can be used against us and subdue the attacker.  We are FREE to do that and we should be.  Benjamin Franklin said it well:  “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

CRIME.  The streets of Chicago, Detroit, Memphis, and all those regions of the country where gun control has essentially disarmed anyone from being able to defend themselves.  Thus, criminals and all those willing to break the law, know this.  Hence, the immense crime rate in areas where people are most defenseless.  Tomas Jefferson hit it spot on when he stated:  “The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are laws of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes…. Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.” – Thomas Jefferson, Commonplace Book (quoting 18th century criminologist Cesare Beccaria), 1774-1776

FAMILY.  The lives of my spouse and children are vastly more important than my own, and ensuring their security and defense is an inherent duty.  It is OUR duty to defend and subdue all violent attacks on our family.  George Washington stated:  “That no man should scruple, or hesitate a moment, to use arms in defence of so valuable a blessing, on which all the good and evil of life depends, is clearly my opinion.” -George Washington, letter to George Mason April 5th 1769

THE HEART OF HUMANITY.  We recognize the truth that this world is not perfect, and evil exists.  Humans do evil things against each other.  Thieves, robbers, assaulters, addicts, and people with uncontrollable personal issues that compels them to engage in actions that hurt, harm, ruin, and kill other people they come in contact with.  THIS is unstoppable and has been a part of human society since the first humans walked the earth.  Due to this inherent nature, a self defense that is equal or greater to subdue the evil is also recognized as necessary.  The greatest being to ever walk the earth, Jesus Christ, stated this:  “And He said to them, “But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one.”  – Jesus, Luke 22:36.  Why would Jesus of all people tell his followers to arm themselves and buy a weapon?  Jesus then states:  “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries…” Jesus, Mark 7:21.  God, spoke through The Apostle Paul when he stated:  “There is none righteous, not even one; There is none who understands, There is none who seeks for God; All have turned aside,  together they have become useless; There is none who does good, There is not even one.” – Paul, Romans 3:10-12.

There is another reason that is at the core of why The Founding Fathers of the most powerful and greatest nation on earth included the 2nd Amendment.  This is not really taught in schools and people or view the government as mommy and daddy will obviously disagree.  Which is also the result of growing up in a such a spoiled and pampered luxurious society.

“I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.” – Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Madison, January 30, 1787

George Washington put it best when he stated:  “A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.”  Now lets look at a section of the Declaration of Independence:  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government…”  The Declaration of Independence, In Congress, July 4, 1776.  Not only is it the duty and responsibility of the people to secure these inalienable rights but it is ALSO a right to alter, abolish, and institute a new government “whenever any form of government becomes destructive” to these rights.  Ready for the primary reason for the 2nd Amendment?

FREEDOM TO DEFEND AGAINST ANY FORM OF GOVERNMENT THAT ATTACKS OUR INALIENABLE RIGHTS.

Now considering THE HUMAN HEART (reason #4), and the government is made up of imperfect people who seek to draft imperfect laws AND in light of human history of governments; only an ignorant child would not see that an oppressive enslaving genocidal government is always a possibility.

Keeping and barring arms is no different than you locking your car doors and home door at night.  When you do it, you do not see an immediate threat.  No robber is standing in your front yard holding a sign saying “I will rob your house tonight”.  You do it because the THREAT is a real possibility.   You lock your car doors while you are at the movies because the THREAT of your car being broken into is a real threat.

An oppressive and tyrannical government is a real threat.  Just look around the world now and study history.  The Syrian government is gassing its own people.  North Korea is starving its own citizens.  China is imprisoning its own citizens for speaking freely.  Wasn’t that long ago, the Taliban in Afghanistan were publicly executing who ever disagreed with them.  All major genocidal governments in history, started with gun control and sought to disarm any resistance.  This is the truth.  These are real possibilities because of the human heart shown to us in real history.

If you notice, in every and all reasons for having a gun is this:  BEST DEFENSE FOR WHAT IS MOST VALUABLE.

The use of guns for self defense have saved more lives than any safe space or gun free zone.  All the mass shooters who were stopped by someone else with a gun, saved the number of lives as to the rounds left in the shooters gun.  The shooter, instead of using all his ammunition on unarmed people, was stopped before he could use all his ammunition.  A buried CDC report estimated that guns were used in self defense about 2.4 million times.  Those 2.4 million people would have been just another victim of a crime if it was not for their ability to defend themselves.  Deterrence also plays a factor.

Lets consider Court houses.  What deters people from wanting to shoot up a court house?  Video surveillance, silent alarms, armed security, metal detectors, entrance searches, and police response time to name a few.  People are being sentenced to life in prison, receiving the death penalty, and being imposed life altering fines.  Why aren’t the accused, their family, or the victims families shooting up court houses?  Why is this such a rare occurrence all the while being a higher stress environment than high schools?  The ability to defend against such attempts.  That’s why.

The explicit observable ability to defend against an attacker is the deterrent.  though, there is no full proof 100% deterrent or perfect defense.  Some people are just crazy, illogical, irrational, and will just dive right into a pool with sharks after cutting their wrist.  But those who are willing to violate the law BUT not risk their life, are more deterred.  Shame the government of schools, counties, school districts, states, and federal aren’t willing to put systems in place to defend our children in schools like they do court houses, their political offices, and places where they store their money… But that’s another matter.

In the home and in public, gun owners are equipped to protect their spouses and children and ready to put down any attacker long before the attacker uses all his ammo on unarmed people and long before police finally arrive.

Gun Control advocates and gun grabbers either don’t understand the duty to defend their family or feel subconsciously guilty for failing or being unable to defend their family.  Maybe even feel too selfish and lazy to defend their family so they would rather the government do it for them…  either way,  when the government starts taking away more of their rights and silencing their annoying voice… what will they have to defend themselves with?

Keep in mind, it was estimated that only 15% of the colonialist participated in The Revolutionary War… YOUR WELCOME 85% for your rights that which were secured by the 15% of gun owners willing to take a stand.

Why Most Gun Control Advocates Don’t Get It?  They don’t have that great sense of anything besides themselves and their ideals to physically defend.  They ‘defend’ only those who agree with their ideals and agenda, thus, still about them.  They ‘fight’ for only those who agree with their ideals and agenda, thus, still about them.  They are not willing to sacrifice themselves for someone else’s ideals.  They aren’t willing to selflessly accept the notion that freedom includes risk.  They fail to see their own self-righteousness.  They fail to see their own logical contradictions and hypocrisies because they are too blinded by their obsession with pushing their own ideals and agendas.  Gun Control advocates who don’t have children, do not have that innate parental instinct to protect their children at all costs, beyond themselves.  Spoiled college grads not have experienced a world without their luxuries.  Government dependent citizens, pampered by this system have no idea the depths a government can do.

Gun Control advocates need to spend 3 years in Syria; organize and participate in free speech rallies in North Korea; fight for womans and same sex rights in Iran; walk around the streets of Chicago and Detroit with their Gucci purse holding a sign that says “I am unarmed”; Then talk about not having the right and ability to defend yourself.  They can even start now.  Stop locking your home and car doors…

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