#the other messy friend breakup i had at least made sense... we saw it coming.

[vamppeach]

warning signs that I forgot to eat:

1. I start thinking about that one friend breakup where I didn't get closure

2.

[imsammyclaflin]

Love, Actually || Self Para

Who: Sam Claflin and his Mother, Sue

When: June 26th, 2024

Where: His parent's home in London, England

Notes: Sam's mom planned to throw him a surprise birthday party but as the pair talk, some relevations come to light...

“Mum you don’t have to keep whispering, I know you’re planning to throw me a surprise party tomorrow.” Sam said, rolling his eyes playfully as his mother came into the living room. Sam had escaped to London after his and Lucy’s joint party because the idea of possibly running into Chris again after their awkward encounter was too great for him to risk. And if he was expecting to get over his silly little crush, he couldn’t be around him. He just needed time to get over whatever feelings he had and then it would be back to friends, if Chris still wanted to be friends. Avoidance was never the answer, as Lucy had so clearly pointed out, but for him, it made sense. You can’t have feelings for someone that you never see right?

Except, being away from him, not texting him daily, or at least every other day as was their norm, was gnawing at him. He missed his friend and no matter how much he tried to rationalize what he was doing, telling himself that it would all work out in the end, he knew it wouldn’t. Feelings like his didn’t just disappear by simply disappearing,no all they had done was make them stronger, so strong that he’d run away to England.

His mother scoffed, gently tapping him on the knee. “I don’t know what you’re talk ing about, Sammy, I’m not throwing…”

“The extra baking, the cooking ahead of time? You only do that when you have plans to entertain and since its not a holiday, I put it together. I’m sure Joe would have told me as well, we all know he can’t keep a secret.” He said, chuckling softly before letting out a sigh. “I should be happy but I’m just not in a celebratory mood this year and the last thing I want to do is act the part. I just want to sleep through tomorrow.”

“Oh pis posh, you don’t mean that dear. You love celebrating your birthday.”

“Not this year mum, I’m sorry.” He said, laying down on the couch, resting his head in his mom’s lap like he used to do when he was a child. It was comforting for him and it always signified that a deep meaningful conversation was soon about to start.

“What’s wrong, Sammy? Talk to me.” She inquired, sitting back herself. She could tell something was wrong but she wasn’t going to make him talk if he didn’t want too.

“When you met dad, did you fancy him instantly? Like how did you know that what you were feeling was real and not just excitement at finally having an excuse to leave the house?”

She laughed and shook her head. “I loved your father the moment I met him. No other man before him had ever made my heart thump as wildly or my knees as weak as when he smiled at me. I had a boyfriend at the time and the only thing he made me feel was bad about myself but when I saw your father, I just knew we were going to be together forever.”

“Huh, you never told me that story.” He said, looking up at her.

“You never asked.” She smirked, playing with his hair. “Why do you ask?” Her face taking on a look of curiosity, even though she already had an idea. Sam was never one for subtlety.

“Oh, I…” He trailed, off, biting his lip before sitting up. “I’ve met someone and, and the feelings I get when they’re around, they’re indescribable and I just… they make me so unbelievably happy. When we’re together, its like nothing else matters. I get the sweaty palms, the weak knees, my heart beats so loud, its embarrassing.” He chuckled, shaking his head. "I even got on a Ferris Wheel because of them."

“But?”

“But I can’t… can’t get out of my own goddamn head. Every time I have a brief moment of clarity, my mind takes me back to my failed divorce and messy breakups and it… it won’t allow me to be happy. Laura was supposed to be my soulmate and we didn’t even make it 10 years. What chance do I have going forward?”

“Relationships take effort, my boy, and you have to realize that. You and Laura didn’t work because you were both so busy and rarely saw one another, distance broke you two up. As for you and Cassie, well, I’ll hold my waggler on that one. But the point is, neither of them were who you were meant to be with. Fate has a plan for us all. We don’t all meet our soulmate on the first try. You have to work at it.”

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Can I… can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” She grabbed his hand, a concerning smile enveloping her face as she looked into his eyes. “Take your time.”

“I… I’m bisexual. And the person that I mentioned earlier. It’s… it’s a guy.” He paused, feeling a little lighter now that he had confessed. He still wasn't sure how his mom would handle the news of her son being part of the LGBTQIA+ community but he knew it wouldn't be negatively.

“Honey I know. I’ve always known.” She said, offering him a kind smile.

Sam looked up at her quizzically. “You have?”

“Its our job to recognize these things and you weren’t so subtle in your glances at your soccer mates. I wasn't completely sure until I saw you arse checking Tommy but hey, I don't judge.” She smirked, giving him a wink.

“Mum!” He laughed, shoving her shoulder playfully. He felt free for the first time in a really long time. It felt nice to be able to joke about this now that the weight was off his shoulders.

“You’re still my Samuel and nothing will change that. We love you, the world loves you and you’re going to be alright, kiddo. You just have to tell yourself that you want to be. Tell those intrusive thoughts to fuck off and be your true self finally. Stop listening to the negative thoughts because at the end of the day, that's all they are. Thoughts. You are the one that is giving them power by choosing to believe them, by not giving yourself a chance at true happiness. You deserve everything you want in life, including this boy, and you need to stop choosing the negative and focus on all the good. Kids these days need people like you to guide them, to show them that it’s okay to be their authentic selves.”

“That’s a lot of pressure.” He said, a look of worry on his face.

“But you’re not alone in the fight. You have allies. And you'll have your partner by your side if you so choose.” She said, smirking. “Now, I’m going to go make us some tea and you can tell me all about this boy you like.”

“Love, actually. I… I love him.” He said, finally admitting it out loud to himself. Saying those words, it was like he was slapped in the face with all of their interactions from the very beginning, it came rushing back to him in a moment of pure clarity. “I’m so sorry mum, I can’t stay for tea. I have… I have to go.”

She smiled, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek before handing him his coat. “Happy Birthday, my love. Call me when you land.”

“I love you too. And thank you. For everything.”

END

[hyunsuks-beanie]

It'll Always Be You

Lee Felix × reader; angst, but with a fluffy ending; 2923 words; lovers to exes and back

A/N So Felix has me feeling all sorts of things today, bc of how good he looked during the performance. So here's a scenario for our Sunshine!

"Here's your order and have a nice day," you smile to the female customer in front of you, before handing a pack of cookies to her child. Once the leave, you let out a sigh and look at your best friend who's cleaning the counter next to you. "All done for today!," you exclaim, to which your friend looks up and smiles, before taking off and folding her apron. "So, what are your plans for tonight?," she asks, making you give her a knowing look. She to her eyes before saying, "How long are you gonna stay cooped up inside your house? The break up was two years ago for heaven's sake, you need to start living your life again." "Hey, I am living my life, it's just that, unlike you, I am not interested in going out and meeting new people every day. I meet enough strangers while working here, so there's no need to go clubbing daily," you shrug.

When all she does in reply is pout, you chuckle and say, "Okay, how about we go for a movie tomorrow? My treat." Her face lights up at that, and she gives you a tight hug before saying, "I really want to meet your ex once though, just so I can break his nose." You giggle "Oh he's dead and gone."

Oh, if only you knew.

Once you send your friend off, you start tidying up your little bakery up. This was the place that helped you get over your breakup, which had been messy to say the least. You had immersed yourself fully in your work, because you knew it was one thing that would never hurt you or break your trust.

You sigh lovingly at the memories of setting up and running your bakery, turning your back against the front door. And just as you are reminiscing you hear the door open, causing you to turn. The moment you do so, however, you regret it, because standing there, staring at you wide-eyed, is your ex, otherwise known as Stray Kids' Lee Felix. You both continue to stare at each other for a while, before he finally breaks the silence (and your trance) by whispering, "Y/N."

You clear your throat, and say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the day." He rushes to the and hurriedly replies, "Please, it's rather urgent. My friend Hyunjin is really craving some blueberry pie, and he refuses fo join practice before I bring him what he wants." "I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You can come back tomorrow though," you say, not looking into his eyes. "Please Y/N, Chan hyung is getting really angry, he's gonna ground me along with Hyunjin," Felix reasons, and you find yourself giving in to his pleading eyes and pouty lips.

"Fine, wait a minute," you say, making him crack a smile. Boy have you missed that smile of his, you think, before mentally slapping yourself for still not being able to resist him, even though he broke your heart to pieces when he broke up with you over the phone two years ago, telling you that he could no longer do long distance with you being all the way in Australia. It wasn't the breakup that hurt you though, it was the fact that he had found someone better and closer to him, or so he said.

Little did you know, though, that the company had he had never really found anyone else, that he didn't want to find anyone else. The company had made him lie to you when they came to know he was secretly dating. He tried to put up a fight, but the company started threatening him about the group facing consequences. He knew you'd see right through him if he told you the truth, so he had to lie to you in order to make you hate him, just so you could move on in life. He meant well, but he never knew he hurt you so bad that you'd give up on dating and love altogether.

"Here you go," you say while handing him his parcel. He thanks you, while contemplating if he should make small talk. Mustering up the courage, he asks, "How have you been?", while looking down. "Fine," you reply, "Congrats on the comeback." His head snaps up at that, as he says, "I didn't know you knew I had a comeback," "It was all over the news, Felix. Stray Kids are really making it big," you swallow before adding, "Your partner must be really proud of you," complete with a fake smile plastered on your face.

Felix winces at your words, not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles with, "How long have you been running this bakery?" "Since about a month after we broke up." When he gives you a confused expression, you sigh and add, "I was kinda already about to move to Seoul when you told me that you had found someone else. I was gonna surprise you, but you ended up surprising me instead."

"Y/N, I-I never knew. I'm so sorry, I-," he says, but you cut him off. "I-I t-think you should leave," you say, with tears threatening to spill. "Let me explain, please. I swear I'll come clean, please, just give me a chance." "No Felix, I can't give you any chance, you blew it up when you hurt me so bad that it made scared of ever loving again. Please.....j-just go," you say, shutting your eyes close. Dejected, he turns around to leave, but not before saying, "I'm sorry," one more time. Once he leaves, you sink down to the floor, crying. "Why did you have to ruin me so bad?," You whisper.

You don't, however, notice that just outside the door, Felix too, is crying hysterically as he gets into his car.

Upon reaching the JYP building, Felix rushes to the washroom to try and dry his eyes and hide any signs that he's been crying. "I still love you. I never stopped, but gosh, why did I have to be such an idiot to let you go? And that too, in the worst way possible?," he says to his reflection in the mirror, thinking back to your broken expression. Slamming his fist against the sink, he curses at himself.

Once he's finally sobered up a little, Felix goes back to the practice room to give Hyunjin his pie. Though he has half a mind to just call in sick and go home and weep, he knows the group needs him. "Here you go, Hyun," he forces a smile onto his face when Hyunjin thanks him. Chan notices his slumped shoulders, but shrugs it off as tiredness. "Now that everyone is satisfied, can we get back to practice?," he asks. Once all the boys agree, rehearsals begin again, but Felix can't find it in himself to focus. He keeps making mistakes, which finally results in Chan stopping the music, grabbing his hand, and taking him out the practice room and to his studio.

"What is it, Lix? You've been distracted ever since you came back from the bakery. Come on, I know something is bothering you, it isn't like you to lose focus. Tell me what it is," Chan says, sternly but gently, his concern for the younger boy evident. "It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired," Felix tries to evade the question, but Chan presses on. "I'm not buying that, and I'm not gonna have you distracted during performances or practices, either. I can't risk you injuring yourself or any of the boys, so I'm saying again. Spit. It. Out. Leader's orders."

Felix sighs, running a hand through his hair. After a pause, he finally says, "I saw Y/N today. The bakery, it is owned by them." Chan's eyes go wide at this, since he's the only one who knows the circumstances under which you both broke up, and is also the only one who knows about how much Felix regrets letting you go, in the worst possible way. "What happened? Were they....rude to you? Or did they do something?" "What? No hyung, they were nothing but nice to me. We made small talk, and they told me that they were planning to surprise me by moving to Seoul, when I broke up with them. I hurt them so bad that they are scared of ever loving again," Felix says, taking shaky breaths between sentences as tears welled up in his eyes again.

"I messed up so bad hyung, you know I still love them. They're the nicest, most perfect, most lovable person I've ever known, and I damaged them so badly, gosh I feel so guilty," he breaks down again, causing Chan to wrap his arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry on. Once Felix calms down, Chan says, "You know what you have to do now, right?" "What do you mean?"

"You say you still love them. You say you're guilty. But instead of telling these things to me, you need to tell this to them. Apologize to them, tell them the whole story. Tell them there was never anyone else, and that it's always been them. You didn't fight for them back then, because you were worried for us. But you can fight for them now, because we got your back. Win them back, Lix. Make up for your mistake."

"B-but hyung, why would they ever want to take me back again? I've been nothing but a jerk to them." "Well, in that case, you can't blame them. But they deserve to at least know the truth. They deserve to know that your intentions were not wrong. If they choose to walk away after that, they will at least have had gotten closure. Who knows, it might help them muster the courage to go out and love again. You owe this to them, Lix."

Chan succeeded in knocking some sense into Felix, as the next day, the younger boy found himself in front of your bakery, preparing a long speech explaining why he did what he did to you. He's so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice your best friend walk out the bakery and stand next to him. "Uhm, are you okay?," she asks, surprising him. "O-oh, uh-uhm, yeah," says Felix, while noticing her uniform, that's identical to yours. "Do you work with Y/N?" "Yeah, we're friends and partners, and on most days, we work together. But they called in sick today, and told me they'd cover the evening shift. How do you know them though?"

To this, Felix finds himself at a loss for words, but he figures if he's gonna come clean to you, he needs an ally. And what better person than your best friend? So he takes down his mask slightly, making your friend gasp in response. "You Felix from Stray Kids! What are you doing here?" "I-I came here to meet Y/N. We broke up two years ago due to a mistake I made, but I need to explain things to them. They deserve to know the truth." He looks up to see your friend glaring at him, as she says, "That was you? You broke my best friend's heart? How could you? I'm not letting you anywhere near them, you jerk"

"Please, just give me 5 minutes, and I'll explain everything to you. Then you can decide if I deserve one more chance." When your friend doesn't say anything, Felix launches into his own version of things, explaining himself and his actions. Once he's done, your friend is still glaring at him, but he notices a smile tugging at her lips.

"You have been nothing but a complete and utter jerk to them. And honestly, you deserve to get your ass kicked by them. But I know that they still love you, and the way you are repenting what you did tells me that you love them too. So I give you my blessing. They'll be here in the evening at 6, be here before then." Felix hugs her super tight at that, with the biggest smile plastered on his face while thanking her. She adds, "But if you hurt them again, I swear I'm gonna murder you with my own two hands." "It won't come to that, I promise."

Felix arrives at the bakery at 10 minutes to six, and the moment he enters, your friend shoves him into the kitchen, asking him to stay there till you come. Once she leaves, he starts pacing up and down, raking his hand nervously through his hair. He tries to prepare what he is going to say, but gives up when he realizes that it would all go out the window when he sees you.

Meanwhile, the moment you step inside the bakery, your friend pretends to be busy setting stuff up on the counter, and asks you to bring in some things from the kitchen. Unassuming, you start walking towards the kitchen doors, when she notices your swollen eyes and exclaimed "Babe, have you been crying?" You muster up a fake smile and tell him that it's just you not feeling well, but unknown to you, Felix heard your friend, and guilt washes over him again. But he doesn't have time to wallow in it, as soon after, you step in.

The way your expression morphs into one of pure sadness breaks his heart into a million pieces, and when you say, "What more do you want from me?" while holding back tears, it takes everything in him to stop from falling to his knees and begging forgiveness. He tries to speak, but you hold up a finger, indicating you aren't finished. "Now that you've found me again, was it not enough for you to have me admit that what you did to me made me stop believing in love? Do you even want to rub it in my face by telling me how happy your are with your partner? If that is so, then please, just get lost, I'm begging you."

Tears are now streaming down your face, and Felix finds himself saying, "Just please. Let me explain. You deserve to know the truth and my feelings and intentions. If after that, you want me to leave, I swear, you will never have to see me again." You can't look at him, but when you don't reply, he says, "I promise that this is the real truth behind what I did. Please hear me out. I lied when I said I had found someone else. There is no 'someone else,' and there never will be one. The only person I've loved, the only person I still love, is you. It'll always be you."

"The company made me break up with you, and threatened me that the group will face consequences if I didn't do as they had asked. I that that if I outright told you the real reason, it would hurt you. And so, I decided to lie to you in order to make you hate me, even if it broke my heart. But never did I ever think that it would damage you so badly, and I know I've been stupid, but I can't help but ask for you to forgive me, and give me one last chance. I know I've been a total jerk to you, and even now, I'm being nothing but selfish, but I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I'll walk away forever. But you deserved to get closure, and I hope that if you do choose to give up on me, you will now be able to love again, and trust again."

By the time he stops talking, the both of you are sobbing hard. You ask him, "Are you done?" When he nods, you say, "You say that you will walk away if I choose to give up on you. But do you really think I'll be able to give up on you? If I couldn't stop loving you even when you broke up with me in the cruelest way possible, what makes you think I'll stop loving you now that I know that you went through the same pain as me? You knew what the truth was, and you still had to hide it. I can only imagine how hurtful that must have been, Felix. I hate myself for believing your stupid lie, for ever doubting the love you had for me. I'm sorry, and I forgive you."

Felix looks up at you, surprised. It takes him some time to process your words, and when he does, he asks you, "What does that mean....for us?" To this, you shyly reply, "Well, I never stopped loving you, and if you didn't either, then should we give us another try?" Felix smiles the brightest he has in ages, as he slowly comes closer to you. Cupping your face, he wipes off your tears, as you proceed to do the same. "I promise I'll never let you go again," he says softly. You giggle and say, "You'd do well to keep that promise," before biting your lip.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?," he asks. You nod in response, causing him to gently place his lips on yours. And for the first time in a while, you feel like you're home.

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou    :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸

[boom-bakugou]

‘The Three Times’ — Keigo Takami (Hawks)

A/N: had this one on my mind for a while, hope it made you as sad as it made me

Pairings: Hawks x GN!Reader

Warnings: angst, slight smutty themes, mentions of blood, slight stalker Hawks

Summary: There were 3 times each when you and Hawks really thought of each other after your breakup.

Word Count: 3.4k

masterlist requests are open <3

The first time Hawks thought of you was 6 months after your relationship ended. His fingers brushed tightly through some random person’s hair as their kiss became ragged. Spurred on by alcohol and their combined sex drive. But as they stumbled up to his apartment, lips locked together as if the alcohol called for it. Something just- didn’t feel right. He couldn’t understand if it was the multiple drinks that they had but he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

Yet as he lay over them on his bed, readying himself to take off their clothes. Hawks stopped himself. His eyes glazing over the person beneath his body.

“I’m really sorry I can’t do this uh-“ Hawks’ usual cocky demeanour dissipated. “I think I’m too drunk.”

But his mind was completely sober. His near fuck-buddy annoyed at the disappointment gathered their scattered items and made their way out of the apartment complex with pity money for a cab from Hawks as an apology.

Plagued by his own mind, he couldn’t think of why he couldn’t follow through with it, stripping himself to go to bed as if stripping back layers of himself to figure out his troubles. Before he pinpointed it. The person beneath him wasn’t you. Laying on his king size bed he couldn’t help but still catch the smell of you on the other side, not daring to touch it since you had both ended things.

Why couldn’t he bring himself to sleep there? Even if he awoke in the middle of the night and was the slightest bit too far over on the other side he’d always move. Why couldn’t he bring himself to sleep with someone else in your bed? No, it was his bed; no one else lived with him. Why did he still reach out only to be met with cold covers?

It wasn’t that serious. He told himself. Yes you two had fun, were intimate, became each other’s best friend but it was better to be apart. Hawks knew he was holding you back and the pressure of keeping a partner and being a pro-hero at a tumultuous time wasn’t a good plan.

He hadn’t even realised the shirt that he’d put on to wear to bed that night was one of your favourites on him. Always saying it was the comfiest to lie on. You promised that’d be the one shirt you’d never steal because you preferred it on him. Hawks couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, out loud, in his empty bedroom, looking at how your side of the bed still had traces of the way that you slept.

-

The first time you thought of him was 8 months after your relationship ended. At your agency, you watched him on the tv in your office as he was part of an interview. You didn’t even notice it was him at first, flicking through paperwork. You didn’t notice the interviewers announce his name or the cadence of his voice. It wasn’t until you heard your own name that your eyes were soon glued to the flat screen.

“So how do you feel about Y/N and their new agency? It must be nice to see your ex-sidekick flourish and make their way up and up the hero charts!” The host didn’t mean any malice from it, but you could see the shock and hurt in his eyes hidden behind his signature smile.

No one knew, no one even at his old agency knew about the two of you secretly dating. But the two of you knew about how work and relationships didn’t particularly coincide. Hawks chuckled, before he began his sentence. The inner cogs turning within him plastered on his face, his charming features that you knew so well.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m happy for the kid. Wish we kept in contact more often though.”

He did not want to talk about it. It had hurt you both for it to end it, but you were holding each other back right? You didn’t want to be a side-kick forever, and heroes dating got messy. Tabloids plastered with paparazzi photos. You didn’t want your image ruined before you’d even begun.

“You don’t keep in contact that often? But you two were so close!” The host’s voice was cheerful, trying to keep the smooth pace of the interview going as it had moments prior. Hawks was made for TV, loved by many. Seeing this talk-show was stuttering, you’d never seen him so quietly distraught on camera.

“Just hero work I guess. Keeps everyone busy!” He retorts playfully which makes the crowd laugh, and you yourself can’t help but crack a smile. He could work the camera like magic, but you couldn’t help but see the cut where his face turned into a solemn frown. He was so civil about the breakup. He couldn’t miss you now of all times right?

The TV had cut to an ad-break and you busy yourself with paperwork again. You didn’t really want to think about him, the caress of his fingers, the way his morning voice said your name in his own cadence, the breakfasts he’d make for you the times you’d stayed at his apartment.

No. No more Keigo. So you plunged yourself back into your paperwork and lost all thought of your ex-lover.

-

The second time Hawks thought of you was a year after your relationship ended. Days off never came to him easily, but craving a sense of normalcy at least for one day was allowed. Stopping by his favourite coffee shop was the easiest way to feel normal for him, order the same drink, sit in the same window seat and people watch. Except today, someone was in his seat.

Taking a chair a few spaces down from the girl at the window table, it took him a few moments to recognise her before placing two and two together.

“Hey you’re uh- Y/N’s sidekick right?” Hawks asks, the girl turns her head to him before looking at him in shock, almost spitting out her drink and spilling the other cup that she had with her.

“Uh- y-yes uhm and you’re Hawks oh god hello-.” She stuttered, he reached his hand over to let her shake it which she happily obliged.

“So, how’s it working at big pro hero Y/N’s agency?” Hawks sipped at his coffee, preparing to hear about all he’s missed out on- well, avoided. Her demeanour almost reminded him of you when you just started, a big fan of his looking to do more and be better for the better of everyone around you. She took a sip of her own drink, trying to compose herself before she formulated an answer.

“It’s a dream come true! I’ve been a big fan of Y/N ever since they were at your agency.” She smiles. My agency, he thought. Seems like eons ago.

“I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of stories from them.” Hawks chuckles, before looking he noticed her rather solemn expression. Her eyes drifting down from his to look at the coffee lip over the opening of her disposable cup.

“Not really, they don't talk much about the old agency which is upsetting- I’d really like to know what it was like!” She was so enthusiastic, so bright. Just like you when you’d become his sidekick. He hoped that he hadn’t ruined that spark when you left the agency. Taking his eyes back to the second cup, his heart sank a little before directing his attention to your sidekick; trying his best to keep his savvy cool aura around him.

“Are you two out on patrol today?” He tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible, not to seem prying. He hadn’t heard anything about you really for little over a year, why didn't you two keep in contact? It wasn’t like you agreed never to speak to one another again.

“Yeah! But we have an hour before we start so they’re meeting me here and got me to grab them their favourite before we head off.” She gestured to the other cup that sat next to her own. “They’ll only be a few minutes, do you wanna stay and talk to them?”

The tone in her voice was that of an excitable fan girl although she did her best to tone it down. Hawks’ mind raced at the thought, seeing you now; not just as he flicked over TV channels and newspaper articles on his phone. Or even how his favourite coffee place that he used to take you to was now your favourite, and you hadn’t bumped into each other here once.

“I gotta get running, I have some errands to do.” Hawks picked up his cup and went to walk off before adding. “Tell the kid… I hope they’re doing good.”

And with that he was off, sitting atop the rooftop next to the cafe, awaiting you to walk inside. He only got a brief glimpse and you didn't notice his presence but, after a few moments he saw you return outside. Hiding behind the lip of the roof so you couldn’t see behind, Hawks saw you lift your head up. Your hand shielding your eyes as you looked to the sky for him. When you had no avail you headed back inside to enjoy the rest of your break.

They wanted to see me. He mused.

-

The second time you thought of him was a year and a half after your relationship ended. The deafening sounds of plates smashing as your then boyfriend threw them about. Anger poisoning your veins.

“It’s not my fault that I get called away for work!” You seethed. Trying your best to not follow suit with him, your feet kicking away shards. You see him lift another mug, using your arms to shield your face as it shatters to the ground. It was one of your favourites, but you never remembered why.

“God you act like you’re all high and mighty that you’re a hero and that you save lives every day.” His hands bled from fractures slicing back up into his skin, collateral damage. You looked at the man you once loved, his face contorted with jealous vexation.

“I am not high and mighty! I just believe in what I do! There’s a difference between the two, dipshit!” You couldn’t even work like a hero right now with him, not being able to help but only bite back. You tried your best to make your way in between the cupboard full of the rest of your dining-ware before he smashed anything else.

“HAH you’re so full of yourself, you’re like that dumb hero you used to work for… Hawks is it?” The name caught you by surprise, like ice being pressed to the back of your neck. It was as if a ghost had left his lips. “Just as fucking arrogant and cocky as that cocksucker on tv,”

“Get out.” You mutter, your eyes surveying the mess on the floor. The pieces of broken china looked like islands among a wooden sea, a beautiful nonsensical mess.

“What?”

“You heard what I said, now get out!” Your eyes shot back up to him, filled with absolute malice. The timbre of your voice elevated as your shoes stood on pieces of the plates, cracking beneath your heavy stomp.

He hurried his way out, not another word leaving his lips. The slam of the door didn’t even make you jump. You didn’t know what to feel. Shuffling debris from beneath you with your feet, you kneel on the hardwood floor of your kitchen. Digging away at what had been lost during the fight. Some were little things like plates you found at antique stores or ones that had a chip in it after you’d opened the cupboard door to quickly. Yet one stood out to you.

In a pool of shattered red pieces was where your favourite cup had been rendered to smithereens. Taking each piece, you tried your best to regain your memory of why it meant so much to you. Until it hit. The day you got the mug was the day that Hawks had first kissed you. After a tricky situation involving a villain and a ceramics shop. He and you had been on a few dates prior to the mission, and after all was said and done the owner of the shop gave it to Hawks who then bestowed it to you, before pressing his lips to yours.

Rummaging your way through the pieces trying best not to cut yourself, you find that the bottom of the cup had been split into two, reuniting the pieces you see the faint ‘Hawks x’ painted on the bottom. It had worn away with time but you still saw it. His distinct handwriting, it always looked different when he wore his gloves which must’ve been how he’d written it then. It was a shame you’d have to get rid of it now.

-

The third time Hawks thought of you was 4 years after your relationship ended. How could he have missed it. It was all every newspaper wrote about, all every television talk show chattered on to their audiences to, every social media post upon his dashboard.

You were getting married.

Hawks balled his fists in frustration, the leather of his gloves creating a shrill noise which only fuelled his sadness. But why was he upset in the first place? He hadn’t seen you properly in the flesh for at least 4 years now, not heard you breathlessly say his name as you clung to his sheets, not heard you hum songs in his shower as you got ready for the morning, not smelt your sweet aroma that made him feel like home.

He knew he shouldn’t be thinking like this, it was all some crazy possessive idealisation that his mind had come up with just because it could. But his throat couldn’t help but go sour as he thought of you in another person’s arms. No one had really made him feel like everything was right, not those half excuses for a relationship he’s had over the past few years, not the one night stands nor the dates his friends tried to set him up. Nothing was as perfect as you were.

You were everything, the moon and it’s pull, the stars and their shine. And what did he do? Throw it away because he was scared and he’d convinced you that it’d be better for you too. How could he be so stupid? How could he have everything in the palm of his hand and let it slip away. He had to see you, just once. Before he could never have you again.

Taking flight in the pitch black, Hawks did his best to research where you were living now. Not in that old cozy place you once had, you were a pro-hero now, able to buy yourself way better. Settling himself on a rooftop near the new and improved apartment complex you lived in, Hawks kept an eye for any movement before he saw you in your window.

You looked as beautiful as the day he met you, clad in only some shorts and a T-shirt, you sipped out of a mug. Watching the bustling city below you. When the hot substance steamed up the window you’d wipe it off, allowing yourself to have the perfect view of the streets. The way the city lights lit you up made his heart swell, everything about you was utterly perfect. He only wished that you were drinking out of that old mug that he had given you all those years ago.

Taking him out of his trance were two strong arms wrapping around you, frightening you momentarily. You looked shocked, nearly dropping the cup. Hawks stood on the ledge of the building, flaring his wings as he prepared himself to jump into action. Yet you turned around and giggled, placing your lips upon your soon to be husband. He recognised their face and blonde hair- another hero. But it’d been years since Hawks last cared about the hero listings. He couldn’t even tell the hero’s name.

His heart sank as you placed the mug down on the window sill, wrapping your arms around your fiancé and dancing around the living room together. Hawks could hear the soft music playing in the background, the man spinning you around. Watching as your hair danced through the twirl with you, he closed his eyes and tried to remember what it felt like to run his fingers through it. Waking up to it tickling his nose, pushing it out of your face behind your ear; he missed the little things.

Opening his eyes again, he was met with the curtains shut. The final goodbye. He stood himself up properly, not worrying about being spotted before taking out his phone and searching for local shops that open earliest in the morning.

-

The third time you thought of Hawks was 4 years after your relationship ended. Your engagement ring dazzled in the fluorescent lights of your office, you couldn’t help but stare at it. It had taken so many years to find the one but you finally had it, being successful in your career and your love life. Everything was falling exactly into place. Before you could admire your finger any longer there was a knock at your door.

“Hello Y/N? These were delivered for you.” Your secretary brings a tied gift bag and leaves it on your desk, quickly scurrying out as she always had a mountain of workload to do.

You looked at the decorative paper carefully. You knew it couldn’t be anything inconspicuous as all deliveries into hero agencies had to go through rigorous testing before even being allowed into the building. You assumed it was something you might’ve ordered a while back that had finally arrived so you delicately began to peel back the tissue paper.

Beneath was a bouquet of your favourite flowers in a quaint but beautiful small vase. Amongst the sea of flowers was a card held by a stick which you plucked out to read, expecting something from your soon-to-be spouse.

It’s always gonna be you kid. - Hawks x

You swear your heartbeat stopped, retaking your seat at your desk. You reread the simplistic words on the card over and over as if they’re gospel and you can’t help but feel the pang of tears in your eyes and in the back of your throat. Placing it upon your desk you shut your eyes, you hadn’t thought about your feelings for your old boss in years. It sounds so silly, but maybe he buried feelings too. But that was long gone. You had moved on, you were happy. You were settling. Settling.

Still, you opened the bottom drawer of your desk and reached beneath a couple of old files to bring out an old memory. The bottom of an old mug glued back together so you could once again read the inscription of Hawks’ name.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x08 Review

Most Likely To was the best ep of S2 so far and ended one ship while launching another. Let’s dig in!

Gaston was super fun, a very nice showcase for both Larry and Matt. This is the kind of energy that early S2 was lacking. Also feels like the first ep where East High might actually have a shot at beating North High. Covid restrictions played a role but we really needed to see more rehearsal scenes and scenes of the wildcats just being theatre kids. This also may be one of the last times we see EJ perform as a student in the musical so I’m glad we got this.  

EJ has been criminally underused for most of S2, he’s marketed as part of the big 4 along with Nini, Ricky, and Gina and Matt Cornett’s name is listed 3rd in the credits but in the early eps of S2 you’d think he was guest star. Lately he’s started to become more important and tonight was an excellent showcase of why he’s such an interesting character. I’m not gonna check but this feels like it’s the most EJ screen time in a single ep that we’ve gotten all season long. 

Of course, the main reason for EJ’s increased screen time is because of Portwell. I’ve been neutral on them but tonight they really won me over’ their scenes were so sweet that they warmed even my cold black heart. Matt and Sofia are good friends irl and that shines through in their easy rapport and great chemistry. Gina snorting at EJ’s joke was cute and I loved the shot of Gina accidentally walking into the shot for EJ’s confessional. As an aside, they’ve been doing some fun stuff with the confessionals lately which helps add a bit of the metaness that helped make S1 so great.

The real big Portwell scene tonight was EJ and Gina talking on the couch at Ashlyn’s. Lot’s to love there. Gina’s speech to EJ about what she sees when she thinks of him was sweet and her saying that EJ tried to do the right thing and often failed but kept trying echoes what she said of herself during her confession to Ricky. Also when EJ asked Gina if she understood the feeling of having her life mapped out she replied, ‘’not really’’ which is almost certainly the inspiration for Gina asking a question to EJ and him responding ‘’not really’’ in their pre S2 face time call on the hsmtmts instagram. 

EJ is still wracked with guilt for the guy he used to be but Gina reminds him that he’s grown and is a good guy which leads to her slip up about her seeing him that way vs the rest of the gang hinting that she’s beginning to catch feelings for EJ. Which leads to EJ complimenting her and them having a moment that could well have led to a kiss if Ashlyn hadn’t come home. And they cap it off with Gina falling asleep and EJ covering her with his Duke sweater. 

It’s been nice not seeing Gina upset over Ricky these past two eps and it’s a damning indictment of the poor writing and pacing of S2 that her story in the first 6 eps can be summed up as Gina being upset over something Ricky said or did. Not only has Portwell allowed EJ to rise in prominence but also it’s allowed Gina to escape the rut her character was stuck in pining for Ricky. 

I hope after S2 is over that we get an interview where Tim explains how the Portwell plot came to be. The S1 finale set up some possible interest between them as did the pre S2 face time call but nothing came of it during the first 4 eps, they stood next to each other a lot but barely interacted otherwise. Notably in 2x01, which Tim himself wrote, EJ tries to grow a beard and tells Ashlyn that he says her as so young which is extremely jarring now that we know that EJ is crushing on Gina who is Ashlyn’s age. 

Was Tim not set on doing Portwell until he realized he needed to give Gina something else to do other than hopelessly pine for Ricky? Narratively, it made sense after Rini got together in S1 to put the other two Big 4 characters together in S2 but did Tim not want it to seem so obvious to the audience so he deliberately kept Portwell apart until 2x05 where EJ’s feelings make for a nice plot twist? Was he just reluctant to plug EJ back into the love square due to how much more complicated it would make things but later felt he had no other options? Or was it just plain old bad pacing and writing?

Of course, I wish that there wasn’t such a large age gap between Sofia and Matt but there are no Gina ships that avoid that problem, there’s also an age gap between Sofia and Joshua, just as there was between Olivia and Joshua and Matt in S1. Depending on when they film S3 there’s a good chance that most of it will be finished before Sofia even turns 18 which is deeply unfortunate. There’s a broader issue of teen girls being cast in mostly age appropriate roles while their male love interests are older adults and in particular it often affects female characters of colour. Netflix has a really bad track record with those kind of age gaps but Disney has problems too as we’ve seen on HSMTMTS and on GMW where by the end of S3 they had 18 year old Peyton Meyer as the boyfriend of 14 year old Rowan Blanchard’s character (not to mention canon Joshaya which didn’t have such a bad age gap between the actors but was problematic regarding the ages of the characters themselves).

A knock I’ve seen on Portwell is that EJ is just gonna leave for university next year but that was never gonna happen, Matt’s under the same 4 season contract as all the other mains and he’ll be sticking around in some capacity much like Sharpay ended up doing in the movies. It is true that EJ will probably have to move on at the end of S4 while Gina still has her senior year left but that will also happen with her and Ricky since he’ll be graduating at the end of S4. It was a big mistake to make EJ a senior but it also may end up being a big mistake to make Gina a sophomore. It would have been too messy to retcon EJ to be a junior but Tim probably should have taken the chance to retcon Gina into being a junior in S2.

That Rini breakup was so sad (missed opportunity for gotta go my own way). They managed to get in a Troyella reference with the treehouse. This was inevitable they just have not been communicating well though now that we know that Ricky thought Nini left YAC for him some of his desperation to spend as much time together as possible makes more sense. I think Rini is endgame if the series has 4 seasons but it wouldn't shock me if we never seem them dating again and they only get back together in the series finale. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Nini never dates anyone else for the remainder of the series or at least not seriously. 

We’re not even halfway through the series so it’s way too early to permanently slam the door on Rini though this time apart will probably help Joshua and Olivia move on from their own bitter break up before it bleeds too much into their performances. I do wonder if Tim really has a clue what he's gonna do with them for the remaining 24-28 eps of the series, assuming S3 and S4 have 10-12 eps each. 

Roman Banks killed If I Can’t Love Her and the montage of all the couples or ex couples was great.

It was nice to finally meets some parents other than the Bowen’s and Salazar-Roberts’. Kourtney’s mom was played by Dara’s actual mother and their dynamic was great as expected. It seems from their conversation that Kourtney's father is dead which I don’t believe has been mentioned before. Cash Caswell.... well it gets what the character is about across. He really looks and sounds like a rich Utah republican, I bet he knows Mitt Romney personally. I liked EJ going to tell his father that he’s not going to Duke and recognizing that he wants to build his own life on his own merits. 

We saw a bit of that S1 Miss Jenn energy tonight which was fun though I didn't like how curt she was with Seb nor did I like how rude Carlos was to Seb although we know that blows up in 2x10. 

Jazzara rising! I really liked how Jazzara and Portwell are sort of mirroring each other and since Mazzara knows about EJ’s feelings for Gina it wouldn’t shock me if helping EJ out is part of him showing a softer side in 2x12.

Of course Ashlyn is VP of the Nostradamus society. It's clear her family has some kooky new age beliefs (her parents are probably members of some naturopathic medicine group on Facebook that doubles as a gateway into Qanon)

It was nice to see Big Red being such a good friend to Ricky and the return of Ricky’s infamous pillow hugs. Lmao at Ashlyn just chilling while Big Red is comforting Ricky

Also Miss Jenn saying sexy and Big Red referring to pillow talk, the writers are adding a bit of spice when cooking up these scripts.

Looking Ahead: 

Looks like Gina may be wearing EJ's duke sweater next ep according to some posts I saw. Jack presumably is there to somehow help Gina decide what she wants with Ricky and EJ though him having wanderlust might also feed into Gina’s thoughts on settling down in SLC or moving with her mom around the country.

Let's see what mom of the year, Lynne Bowen, has up her sleeves. Ricky’s bedroom at her place in Chicago looks much nicer than the apartment Mike Bowen has so perhaps she makes a lot more money than he does. 

Not looking forward to the Zoom portions of the ep but I guess it was inevitable. 

There’s only two paths for Gina’s story to go in the remainder of this season; either she decides to move on from Ricky and give EJ a chance or she decides that Ricky is worth trying again and squelches her budding feelings for EJ. The former looks much more likely after tonight’s ep but either way it needs to be handled with care. Inevitably Gina and Ricky need to talk about what happened between them but if Tim really wants Ricky to continue being a viable love interest or even a good friend to Gina then he needs to really have Ricky apologize and show a thoughtful, kinder side of him that’s largely been missing this season. 

What I think Tim is doing is setting up Portwell getting together in 2x12 but Ricky pining over Gina until Portwell break up late S3 and Rina get together in the S3 finale before they break up later in S4 and Ricky gets back with Nini near the end of the series. If I had Tim’s ear I would tell him that he should pick which ship he wants to do, Rina or Portwell, but don’t do both. He wants canon Rina? Great then end Portwell before it starts and have Rina happen in S3 and introduce other obstacles to them getting together rather than having to damage EJ’s character and make him lose another girl he likes to Ricky. He wants canon Portwell? Great then have Gina and Ricky’s conversation be closure for the both of them and have Gina and EJ get together and break them up without Ricky being a cause of it or waiting in the wings to get with Gina soon afterwards. Doing both will be a disaster and I truly hope that Tim Federle carefully thinks over his mistakes in S2 and really plans out the remaining 2 seasons of the series while there’s still time to prevent things from going really off the rails like GMW and AM did thanks to the bad decisions of Michael Jacobs and Terri Minsky. 

Until next week wildcats. 

[keichanz]

More Than

so i was listening to the song More Than My Hometown by Morgan Wallen which is now my new obsession and i shit you not, the ending to this little drab popped into my brain so fast i knew i had to write it down. thus, this angsty little blurb was born. 

now as i was writing, i realized that it was giving off sooo many One Last Ride vibes, written by the ever so talented @lemonlushff​​, that i decided to tweak this so it could tuck somewhere into the story itself as a sort of unofficially official glimpse of their breakup. i’m happy to report that it has Lemon’s official seal of approval and she loved it! 

so now i’m gonna share it with all you fine folks and i hope you enjoy it too! :) and since it is in the OLR universe, there will be angst hahahaa. 

so this is for you Lemon, my sweet and sour friend~ ❤️ 

one last thing--i highly recommend either having the song above playing while you read this, or at least listen to it beforehand. yes, it’s a country song, but it really is so good and the lyrics - which i’ve italicized and bolded - seem to reflect Inuyasha’s thoughts perfectly, which is why i thought it fit so well with OLR’s theme. 

....shit okay one last last thing: i swear to fuck that the ending jumped out of a scene from a goddamn western harlequin romance novel with its level of cliche and drama and yes i am entirely proud of that fact ;ljadfilajflkahjsfue

She stood beside the bed, feeling empty, cold, hollow as she stared down at the pillows and blankets. It was still unmade, the sheets twisted, messy from her hasty retreat just that morning. Tears burned her eyes as she remembered why; the argument, the begging, the screaming. The heartbreak.

Her heart twinged and Kagome gasped, closing her eyes as she brought up a hand to cover her mouth. Was this…was this really it? Were they really going to leave things like this, unresolved and painful between them? God, she didn’t want to. She wanted to run outside, run through the night to his house, throw open the front door and beg him to—

Her bedroom door crashed open and Kagome gasped, whirling around with wide, liquid eyes, heart in her throat. Golden eyes, furious, hard, bore into her own and suddenly a heat suffused her body, chasing away the previous chill, and her stomach swooped as he shut the door and stalked toward her.

Her breath left her in a stuttered exhale, body trembling, coming alive from the heat in his gaze.

“Inuy—”

“Shut up,” he growled, grabbing her waist, hauling her in tight against him. His lips fell over hers, swallowing her gaps, the crush of his mouth hard, unforgiving, punishing.

Hands – frantic, desperate – removed clothing, touching, grabbing, caressing. They fell on the bed in tangle of limbs, skin against skin, heart against heart, flushed, needy, desperate. Growls, moans, whispered pleas echoed throughout the darkness of the room as they rocked together, moving in a dance as old as time. Fingers grasping sweat slicked skin, hearts thundering wildly and then perfectly syncing in a moment of euphoric completion. A stuttered breath, a gasp of a name; then silence.

Tears trekked down her flushed face as she was gathered against a hard chest, as familiar arms wrapped around her stated body and held her as she cried.

Girl, our mamas are best friends and so are we The whole town's rooting for us like the home team Most likely to settle down Plant a few roots real deep and let 'em grow

Kagome stood in front of the full-length mirror and ran a brush through her still damp hair, the yellow and blue sundress she wore complimenting the blue of her eyes. Blue eyes that were dull as they stared at her reflection, but didn’t really see it.

Which was just as well. She didn’t know why she picked this dress to wear, but had felt compelled to wear it anyway, even if looking at it made the vice on her heart tighten even more.

A gentle knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts and she blinked. Kagome turned her head in time to watch her mother crack open the door and poke her head inside, her smile kind, but her eyes sad. The older woman took in her daughter and her smile faded, but she didn’t comment as she stepped inside.

“Souta brought the car around,” she said softly. “And the keys are in it. Do you need help with your bags?”

“No,” Kagome answered and looked at her reflection again. “I packed most of them in the car last night. I just have my carry-on left.”

Mama nodded but said nothing as gazed at her daughter. Her heart ached at the pain she saw reflected in those dear features, in the eyes were that identical to her late husband’s—Kagome’s father.

“Kagome…” she started, but then sighed as those sad, sad eyes turned toward her once again. Mama shook her head. “Are you going to say goodbye?”

Kagome’s breath hitched. She didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to ignore the butterflies that took flight in her belly.

“I…I’m going to try,” she whispered and god help her, but she couldn’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes. “But Mama, I don’t…he probably doesn’t want to see…”

Her throat tightened and she pressed her lips tightly together to stifle the sob that welled up. Immediately arms, warm and familiar, surrounded her. Kagome buried her face in her mother’s shoulder as the tears spilled from her eyes.

“I’ll talk to Izayoi,” Mama murmured and kissed her daughter’s head, her heart aching for her little girl as she felt her own eyes getting hot with the threat of tears. “If anyone can talk some sense into that boy, it’s his mother.”

Kagome sniffled and nodded, grateful that her mother would help her in this endeavor. It was unlikely he’d want to see her, but she had to at least try…

Closing her eyes as her mother rubbed her back and smoothed her hair, Kagome clung to her mother and let herself remember, the memories flashing before her mind’s eye and then fading away just as quickly, only to be replaced by another one, fresher, more precious, more painful than the one before.

But we can't stop this real world from spinnin' us Your bright lights called, I don't blame you for pickin' up Your big dream bags are all packed up and ready to go But I just need you to know

“Shhh! Quit laughing or they’ll hear us!”

Another badly stifled giggle echoed in the night as he drew her into the darkness of the trees, toward their secret spot they’d found years ago. One hand held a six pack while the other held tight to her hand, fingers laced, and he couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face before an exhilarated chuckle of his own burst from his lips.

Darkness gave way to the orange glow of a fire, the soft crackling of wood breaking the stillness of the night.

“Why is this so good?”

“Because we’re seventeen.”

“If we get caught, I’m blaming you.”

“Shut up and maybe we won’t be.”

“Hey, this was your idea—”

The rest of the words were stolen in a kiss, a hand coming up to cradle her jaw as a ragged sigh whispered against her lips. He tasted like beer and spearmint gum. She smiled. A strange combination, but it was him, and she loved it.

--

“You should have seen it, Inuyasha,” Kagome gushed a year later, sitting on her bed as she excitedly gushed about her time in LA to her best friend. “The sunset was absolutely gorgeous, like nothing you’ve ever seen before! God, I wish you were there with me. I just know you’d love it.”

Inuyasha smiled and reached forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I doubt I can love anything more than you.”

Blue eyes widened as a flush spread across her cheeks; her breath hitched, lips forming his name and eyes drifting closed as he leaned forward and took her mouth in a warm, lazy kiss.

--

“Would you ever wanna go?”

“Go where?” Fingers racked through dark hair and her sigh was blissful, a soft melody in his ears.

“California.”

“…You mean like…visit?”

“Well, maybe longer than a visit…like an extended trip, or something…lots of opportunities out that way…”

A brief pause before the fingers continued. “No. …Do you?”

“Mmm…dunno. Maybe after graduation? I had so much fun last time, but…”

“But what?”

A pause. Then, “Nothing. Kiss me.”

A husky chuckle before a pair of lips covered her own and any thoughts about the Golden State far, far from her mind as she returned his kiss.

That I love you more than a California sunset More than a beer when you ain't twenty-one yet More than a Sunday morning Lord Turnin' some poor lost souls 'round, Hallelujah bound

“Ewww, get that away from me!”

“C’mon Kagome, it’s just a worm! It ain’t gonna bite ya!”

“Eeee! Inuyasha, don’t you dare—!”

Laughter as he chased her around with a baited hook, the sound of water splashing as bare feet waded into the lake.

“Wait, I think I got something!”

The crank of a fishing rod as he reeled it in, the water splashing as whatever was caught struggled against the pull. Grunting, muttered curses, and soft giggling before with a splash the bass burst from the water, dangling from the hook.

“You got it!”

“Damn, ain’t nothing more satisfying than that feeling when the bass hits the hook!”

“I can think of one thing…”

Soft lips, warm and smiling, pressed against his own and Inuyasha abruptly decided that yeah, this was definitely better.

--

“California?”

“Yeah! Can’t you just imagine it, Inuyasha? The lights, the nightlife, the ocean, and no more snow! You always complain about the snow.”

“Yeah, but…Kagome, I don’t know…”

“Just think about it, okay? I’m not asking for you to decide right now. But this is something I’ve thought about for a while now, Inuyasha, and I just…I want to experience it with you. Please?”

A pause, and then heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

A brilliant smile, soft lips pressing to his cheek in a warm kiss. “You know I love you, right?”

“…I know, Kagome. Me, too.”

--

“I can’t believe you’re reading that crap.”

“It’s not crap, it’s romantic. You could probably learn something or two from these books, you uncultured dog.”

“Uncultured? Really?”

“Besides, I like it when the guy gets the girl at the end. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.”

“I can make you feel all warm and fuzzy, too.”

Her gasp was cut off as lips pressed against her neck and hands slipped beneath her shirt to roam across soft skin. The book fell from her fingers to dive into silver hair, eyes closing as her head fell back with a breathy sigh.

--

“Yes.”

The blood was rushing so loudly in his ears he barely heard her and the thundering of his heart against his chest was so forceful, it was a wonder it didn’t leap out into her waiting hands. 

“Y-yes?” he echoed, voice naught but a disbelieving rasp as he stared at her with wide, shocked - and cautiously hopeful - golden eyes.

A half-sob, half-laugh burst from her lips and her eyes were bright from more than just the unshed tears brimming the beautiful depths.  Lips trembled as she smiled, hand trembling even more as she held it out before her.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Inuyasha, I’ll marry you. I—”

What she felt next wasn’t the cool metal of his grandmother’s ring as it found a new home on her finger, but instead the warmth of her beloved’s hand as it wrapped around hers and yanked her forward into his arms. They tumbled to the ground, laughing, crying, exchanging endless kisses and promises of forever as the ring, forgotten on the ground but still nestled within the velvet box, glittered merrily in the warm glow of the fire.

Yeah, I love you more than the feeling when the bass hits a hook When the guy gets the girl at the end of the book But, baby, this might be the last time I get to lay you down 'Cause I can't love you more than my hometown

“Come with me.”

Silence; thick, stony. Cold.

Desperation made her voice high, the words falling from her lips fast. “Inuyasha, please, come back with me—we’d have such an amazing time together, learning, living and—you can enroll in my school, Inuyasha! It’s not too late, there are so many programs to choose from, and I just think you can do so much more with your life than—”

“Than what, Kagome?” The words were snapped, harsh, biting as he whirled around to peg her with a hard stare. “Than taking on the valued responsibility of the ranch that’s been in my family for fucking generations? Than building our fucking house? You know, the one we'll live in after we’re married? I can’t do that, Kagome. I won’t.”

“But that’s just it, Inuyasha, you have no room to grow here! You’re stifled by the responsibility you feel to take over the ranch when leaving could relieve you of that burden! The world is so big, Yash, and there’s so much more beyond this little town, so if you would just trust me—”

“You’re asking me to drop and leave everything I know behind, Kagome!” His voice was loud, thunderous in his anger, his frustration, his pain. “This my home, our home, and you just want me to leave like it don’t even matter! Like the fucking life I’m trying to build for us don’t even matter!”

“That’s why I’m asking you to come with me!” Tears, hot, salty ran unchecked down her face, blue eyes big and pleading and flashing with undisguised panic. “I want to be with you, Inuyasha, I do, but I need you to understand—!”

“Then be with me here, dammit!” A note of desperation, amber eyes pleading, frantic, angry.

A choked sob, a muffled whimper. “I can’t…”

An anguished sound, a shattered cry, and then a door slamming shut, loud, devastating, final.

--

The words slammed into him harder than any blow he’d ever received, the shock greater than hitting the unforgiving ground after falling off a horse, and the pain far, far worse than he ever could have imagined.

Fuck, it would have hurt less if she’d just outright slapped him in the face.

She wouldn’t look at him, her gaze focused on the ground, dark hair hiding her expression. He swallowed once, twice; his mouth felt like a desert, his tongue heavy, thick, useless. His throat worked but no sound came out. Ice replaced the blood in his veins, freezing his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

“Wh…what did you s…” He shook his head, swayed on his feet as he blinked hard. He couldn't have heard her right. She couldn't have just told him—

“…I cheated on you. Inuyasha, I—”

He didn’t hear the rest of what she said. His legs abruptly gave out and he stumbled back, sitting down hard onto the fallen log behind him. The log he’d proposed to her on. The log they’d kissed on—

He shook his head again, a frown pulling his brows down low over his eyes as he tried to register the words spilling from her mouth a mile a minute. Two days…two days ago. That—that didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t—he couldn’t smell anything, couldn’t detect any sort of incriminating evidence that suggested she’d been unfaithful. 

Amber eyes lifted, flashing with tentative hope. She’d been drunk—she didn’t remember, so maybe if he told her—

The sight of his grandmother’s ring, nestled in the middle of her palm, might as well have been his heart because it sure as sure shit felt like she’d just ripped it out of his chest. His stomach clenched, the breath seized in his lungs, and a curious numbness spread throughout his entire body. The realization hit him even harder than the pain had, and that in and of itself would have brought him to his knees had he not already been sitting. 

Honeyed eyes, agonized, pleading, lifted to her face. Again she would not meet his gaze, eyes closed against the tears that spilled down her cheeks. He suddenly tasted salt and with a start he realized he was crying too, the tears warm as they streaked down his pale face but he gave them no mind. 

“K…Kagome…” It was the only thing he could get through a throat tight from anguish. A plea, a prayer, a question all in one as he stared at her, heedless of the tears that continued to fall. 

Her eyes squeezed shut and she shook her head; a clenched sob broke from her lips as she reached forward, grabbed his hand, closed his fingers around the ring, giving it back, giving back his heart that she no longer wanted. Pain, sharp and intense, pierced through him and he gasped, unable to do a damned thing as she backed away from him, arms folded around herself.

“I’m sorry,” she rasped, shaking her head, over and over, backing away. “I just…I can’t…”

A sob, borne of a sorrow so deep, of regret and fear and pain so sharp it felt it in the very marrow of his bones, broke free of her lips right before she whirled around and dashed away, through the night, through the trees, away from the fire, away from him.

Inuyasha could do nothing but sit there, his rejected grandmother’s ring clutched in his fist and his vision blurry from hot tears as he watched her run. Curious, that instead of the crushing pain he expected to feel in his chest, there was a hollow ache that resonated, like an echo of a mournful howl for the one who had just run away with his heart.

What hurt more than the pain of watching her go, however, and more than the diamond cutting into his palm, was the jarring realization that the woman he loved more than his own life would rather fabricate a lie of infidelity than be with him. 

And because he loved her more than his own happiness…he’d let her. 

I ain't the runaway kind, I can't change that My heart's stuck in these streets like the train tracks City sky ain't the same black Ain't that a map dot shame, man, to think that

Sitting on his bed, freshly showered and donned in simple jeans and a t-shirt, Inuyasha’s head was bowed between his shoulders and his arms were propped on his knees. His hands, clenched into tight fists, gradually relaxed and a breath he hadn’t’ even realized he’d been holding rushed from his lungs, escaping his mouth in a harsh exhale that did absolutely nothing to absolve the torment wreaking his mind.

As the last vestiges of the memory faded away, far more painful than all the ones before, he opened his eyes and stared down at the hardwood floor, scuffed and scratched and worn. He frowned, his chest feeling tight, his stomach in knots, his muscles tensing and relaxing with a restless energy that was hard to ignore. He wanted to punch something, to run, to fight, fight for her to stay, fight for them.

But he remained where he was, hands flexing, jaw clenched, eyes shut tight against the pain that was determined to bring him to his knees. God, why, why did she have to—

Gentle rapping on the door before it was cracked open. He didn’t look up but he didn’t need to; he knew why she was here. The ache in his chest intensified, sharped, traveled up to knot in his throat and make it harder to breathe.

She didn’t say anything at first, simply stared. Then, “…She wants to see you.”

Inuyasha turned his head, looked out the window.

A pause. Then a sigh, resigned, sad. “Asako called. Before she showed up at the door, I mean. Asked me to talk to you. Said I would, but didn’t make any promises.” Pause. “You already know how I feel about her doing this, but…you should at least say goodbye. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You know you will.”

A tightening of his jaw and a deep furrowing of his brow was her response.

“…I’m sorry, my love.”

The door closed with a soft click.

A minute passed. Two. Three.

Inuyasha exploded to his feet, grabbed the lamp on the nightstand, and hurled it against the wall with a roar that was equal parts rage, frustration, and deep, intense anguish that reverberated throughout the entire house; echoing, thunderous, shattering.

Deafening silence followed his outburst; he sank to his knees and wept.

I love you more than a California sunset More than a beer when you ain't twenty-one yet More than a Sunday morning Lord Turnin' some poor lost souls around, Hallelujah bound Yeah, I love you more than the feeling when the bass hits a hook When the guy gets the girl at the end of the book But, baby, this might be the last time I get to lay you down Cause I can't love you more than my hometown

It was impossible not to hear it. As the color drained from Kagome’s face and her heart clenched in her chest, Izayoi stared at her with eyes hardened from the ache she was feeling for her son, the sorrow she felt at his heartbreak twisted into bitter, resentful anger at the woman standing before her.

Kagome closed her eyes, bit her lip to stifle the sob that welled in her throat, sucked in a shaky breath meant to harden her resolve. It didn’t and she fought not to fall apart on the front porch, locking knees that threatened to give out on her.

“Go,” Izayoi muttered in a voice like flint and ignored the younger woman’s flinch. “You’ve done enough damage here. And I’m not talking about whatever he just destroyed.”

Hot tears pricked the back of her eyes. Her throat tightened, preventing any words, protests, to spill from her mouth. She stared at the older woman with wide eyes, someone who she, for the longest time, had looked upon as a second mother, someone to confide in, to trust.

She found none of the warmth that she was used to seeing. No fondness, no compassion, no understanding. Coldness spread through Kagome’s veins, turning her blood to ice, knotting in her stomach, heavy, uncomfortable.

Izayoi stared back, cold, unforgiving, unregretful.

“I’m sorry,” Kagome whispered.

The older woman pressed her lips into a thin line and looked away, arms tight across her chest.

Rejected, heartbroken, Kagome turned, her feet feeling heavy as they carried her back to her car. The tears ran unchecked down her face now, streaming down pale cheeks. She tasted salt and she got in the vehicle, closed the door. Her body felt like it was on autopilot as she revved the engine and started down the long dirt driveway.

It wasn’t until she had gone halfway that she broke down, great, gasping sobs erupting from her throat. Her vision was blurry from the unending tears and her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Without even realizing it her foot had slipped from the accelerator and she was merely coasting now, too distraught, too tormented to think about anything else but the pain ravaging her heart. Unbidden one last memory, the most recent, flashed before her mind’s eye, twisting the knife keeper, crushing her, killing her…

“Don’t do this.”

He froze at the softly uttered words, spoken in a tone so raw with pain that it trembled. He swallowed hard and turned his head just the slightest bit, but said nothing.

Silence. Thick, tense, deafening.

Then he tightened his jaw, hardened his eyes, and continued putting his boots on.

A choked sob, the rustle of cloth. “Inuyasha, please—”

“I’m sorry.”

He stood up from the side of the bed and refused to look at her as he collected his jacket, still sitting in a heap on the floor from where it was hastily thrown the night before.

A stuttered breath, followed by the salty scent of tears. His lips drew into a tight line and his hands fisted tightly at his sides as he forced himself to head toward the door. But, goddamn him, he paused right in front of it, hand on the knob, jaw clenched so hard it ached.

“Please,” she begged and the word was a raspy plea, vision blurry from tears. “If you would just—we can talk about this—”

“I love you, Kagome,” Inuyasha said and he heard her sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t turn around. He swallowed once, twice, and closed his eyes as he opened his mouth and forced the words past a throat tight with emotion.

“Inu—”

“But I can’t…love you more than this. I just…I can’t.”

Another sob, a hitched breath, and his chest ached. He bowed his head.

“See you around, Kagome,” he whispered and left, his footsteps fading down the hallway and down the stairs until the slam of the front door echoed in the dark house.

Kagome dropped her face into her hands and wept.

The front door burst open and Inuyasha was desperation personified as he rushed past his alarmed mother, sprinting as fast as he could toward the barn that held the horses. Not even a full minute later a white blur sped from the barn and bolted through the open gate of the pasture, following the car that was leaving with his love, his soul, his very heart.

Standing on the porch, Izayoi pressed a hand to her heart while the other covered her mouth, muffling the sob that burst from her lips as teary eyes watched her son chase after the woman who broke his heart.

'Cause I love you more than a California sunset I love you more in a twenty-dollar sundress Hate that loaded down car you got your keys in Girl, but I hate even more that you're leavin'

Urging his mount to go faster, harder, the thundering of her hooves against the ground rivaled that of the thundering of his heart in his chest. Hands gripping the coarse hair of her mane, Inuyasha grit his teeth against the harsh wind, his eyes wild, desperate and bright with unshed tears as he kicked the mare’s flanks to go faster, dammit, faster!

The distance between them was closing, the rumble of the engine, of gravel crunching beneath tires becoming louder until he was riding alongside her, along the fence that enclosed the front pasture. His hands fisted his mount’s mane in a while-knuckled grip as he leaned over her neck, legs tight to her sides.

He turned his head and wild, despairing golden eyes collided with wide, tear-filled blue.

Kagome’s heart lurched in her chest, making her gasp as goosebumps erupted on her skin. She sobbed, shaking her head, mouthing his name and forcing her eyes to look straight ahead. What—what was he doing?! Why?! God, he was making this even harder than it already was, taking her heart and stomping on it, cruel, cold, conniving.

But it made sense, didn’t it.

She had broken his heart, and now he was doing the same to her.

'Cause I love you more than the feeling when the bass hits a hook When the guy gets the girl at the end of the book But that ain't you and me so I guess I'll see you around 'Cause I can't love you more than my hometown

Inuyasha didn’t let up, not even when she looked away, gritting his teeth, kicking his mount to keep up when she accelerated. She was crying, and although he couldn’t hear her, he could see the way she shook, shoulders jerking, chest heaving, face wet from her tears and fuck she was wearing the sundress—

The end of the drive was in sight. Kagome slowed down, so did he, but she didn’t stop as she once again turned her head and caught his gaze. Inuyasha was already staring at her, heart in his eyes, a silent plea falling from his lips, willing her to hear….

“Don’t go.”

A sob, raw, choked, anguished.

“I’m sorry.”

Without even realizing, he let up on his mount, the mare slowing to a trot, a walk, and then stood still, recovering from the hard gallop. Golden eyes, awash with ears, watched the car reach the end of the drive and turn, driving away, going, going, getting smaller, fading.

Gone.

Something inside Inuyasha shattered and he didn’t think it could ever, ever be repaired.

Love you more than my hometown Love you more than my hometown Love you more, baby, love you more

[yoon-kooks]

Love Note | jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, College!AU, a touch of mystery

Summary: When a stray pink notebook falls into your possession, you’re mildly disturbed to find the pages filled with a long list of popular students, their significant others, and how they got together. You can’t imagine what kind of twisted person would keep track of other people’s love affairs to the point of obsession, but you have one clue. The only person listed without a significant other is the campus heartthrob, Jeon Jungkook. It isn’t until after an unlikely conversation is initiated that you begin to piece together the truth behind the boy and the notebook.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: none

A/N: this is loosely based off the manga, death note 🤪

-

Love.

Sometimes you wonder what it takes to catch someone’s attention, to capture the fluttering hearts of those around you, to be loved without trying. You don’t understand. Why is it that average folks like you struggle to have even a single classmate ask for your number while the popular kids have a whole flock of fans vying for their attention? The divide between the popular crowd and everyone else almost feels unfair. The only logical explanation you’ve come to is that some people are blessed and others are cursed.

Cursed. That’s exactly how you feel after picking up an ominous stray notebook in the hallway outside of your psych classroom.

You had found it funny how everyone seemed to step over the notebook as not to trip, but no one thought to pick it up and return it to the owner. So after the rush of students emptied out of the halls, you scooped it up and examined the pink cover for the name of the owner. Instead of a name, you found the phrase “Love Note” written across the cover in black sharpie. You didn’t think anything of it until you flipped the notebook open and saw what you saw.

You should’ve never opened the book. Because now you’re stuck with it.

Your jaw falls until it’s dragging on the floor as you flip through the pages. The pages are all practically fill with the same thing, and it has nothing to do with the lecture you just came out of. In fact, it has nothing to do with school aside from the names of students listed in it.

Kim Seokjin & Park Jiyeon – a serenade with a guitar and cheesy lyrics

Im Nayeon & Kim Taehyung – bonded while failing chem together

Lee Hyeri & Kim Namjoon – partnered up during a marine biology seminar on crustaceans

Jung Hoseok & Min Yoongi – opposites attract

Written in messy columns and rows, you recognize a majority of the names as the popular faces on campus, some of which are in your class. You assume the name paired next to theirs is their significant other because the column after that alludes to how they got together.

You get the feeling you’ve picked up the belonging of some creep and seen something you shouldn’t have seen. Because who the hell would bother keeping tabs on other people’s love affairs. It’s none of their business and it’s certainly none of yours.

Just as you’re about to head toward the lost-and-found, the name at the very bottom of the list catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook. You wouldn’t have even spotted his name amongst the hundreds of others if it weren’t for the blank space next to his. In fact, his name is the only one written without another name next to it. But now that you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.

You’ve never spoken to the boy personally, but everyone seems to know him. Many of your classmates signed up for your psych class just to be in the same vicinity as him. He’s handsome, funny, smart, and even quite kind from what you’ve heard. He’s the total package that everyone aspires to get a piece of. Even you are a tad curious to know what kind of witchcraft he uses to draw people in so effortlessly.

At the same time, you know your place. He’s popular, and you’re average at best. You’re not the type to approach him like all the other girls begging for his affection. And you know he’d never approach you either. That’s the curse that was bestowed upon you.

If you knew the boy or at least had the guts to talk to him, you’d surely bring the notebook to his attention. Because if your name were written and singled-out in someone’s creepy notebook, you’d want to know, too. You’d want someone to have your back.

That’s the only reason why you’re still holding onto the notebook and not freeing yourself of the burden. If you were to leave it lying around or at the lost-and-found, who’s to say someone else would be willing to do the deed in your stead. From what you witnessed earlier, no one was even willing to pick the notebook up.

So you’ve decided what you’ll do. At the next lecture, you’ll find Jungkook and slip the notebook into his bag without him noticing. In that way, you can rid yourself of the notebook once and for all while also giving the boy a subtle heads-up with what’s being written about him and his popular crowd.

The plan is fool-proof.

-

The next morning, you feel it in your stomach. The feeling of stressing way too much over something so stupid. But you can’t help but fear the thought of getting caught. You’d hate for Jungkook or any classmate to catch you sticking something so suspicious in his bag. What if they get the wrong idea and think you’re the creepy owner of the notebook? You can’t have that.

Still, you do have a sense of duty to uphold. Clutching the notebook in your arms, you walk into the lecture hall with the intention of going through with the plan. You’ll still try to sit behind him or somewhere in his vicinity, and if it seems to risky, you can always do what you do best: chicken out.

Glancing around the lecture hall, you realize you’ve made one fatal mistake. You arrived before Jungkook. Feeling like a goof, you slump into a random aisle seat and toss the pink notebook on the desk. You can’t believe you were worrying so much about getting caught when you couldn’t even execute the first part of the plan.

“Is this seat taken?”

You glance up at a finger pointing to the seat next to yours. The one pointing is none other than the boy you’ve been stressing over for the past 24 hours. How fucking convenient. But you know something’s up. There are plenty of other seats still up for grabs, and yet, he chose to sit right next to you? Unheard of. You figure it must be some sort of joke or bet, but you’ll take it. “No.”

“Cool,” he says, sliding his thighs through the walkway that’s always been too narrow for your liking. His duffle bag surely would have smacked you in the face if you hadn’t leaned back. When he finally settles into his seat, he deadass looks at your desk. “Cute notebook.”

Oh, you suppose that’s code for when a popular guy wants to take a picture of your lecture notes. But that’s too bad for him. “Thanks, but it’s not actually my notebook. I found it in the hallway yesterday and I’m looking for the owner.”

“Why not just bring it to the lost-and-found?” he chuckles. Now that you think about it, it does sound pretty weird, considering you don’t have the slightest clue as to who the notebook belongs to. “Do you at least know who the name of the person you’re looking for?”

“Not exactly,” you shrug. “But I figure it must belong to someone in this class.”

He gestures for you to hand it to him. So you do. All according to plan.

You watch as the boy’s eyes widen at the long list of names in the notebook. It’s only a matter of time before he sees a pattern and finds his own name written there.

“Is your name here too?” He continues to scan the list, page by page.

You shake your head.

“Does that mean you’re available?” The boy pulls out a pen from his backpack and clicks it.

“How’d you come to that conclusion?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Isn’t this like a list of all the couples at our school?”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“Right, right,” he nods, twirling his pen. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“If I tell you, you’re going to write my name in there, aren’t you…?”

“Not necessarily.” He sets the pen down and chuckles at you with a smile. “Sometimes it’s just nice to get acquainted with the people around you. You might be surprised with the kinds of people you’ll meet in that way.”

Ah, there it is. There’s the charm that has everyone swooned.

“It’s Y/N,” you say softly. Half a second later, the boy picks up his pen and starts jotting shit down. “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to write my name down.”

You watch as Jungkook writes your name out next to his along with the description, “had a cute conversation during psych lecture.”

“I’m testing a theory,” he says.

“What theory?”

“What if this isn’t a just a weird kid’s record of couples at our school?”

“What is it then…?”

“A matchmaking machine? Like, if we write down the names of two people and an explanation of how they got together, maybe they’ll suddenly become a couple? Like magic,” he nods. You nod along, though you’re starting to think the boy has a screw loose. “I saw something like this in an anime once.”

“You mean… Death Note…?” Aka the anime where a smartass finds a death god’s notebook that can give people a death sentence just by writing their name down.

“Oh, so you’ve seen it too?”

You nod.

“I guess I’ll let you in on a little secret then.” He gestures for you to come closer. He whispers into your ear, “I’m the one who started the Love Note.”

“You’re the creep who wrote all of this?” you whisper-shout in his ear.

“No, no, no.” He waves his hands in defense. “I just helped get the ball rolling.”

“Please elaborate.” Because you don’t believe him yet.

“A few years back, my friend wanted to get back into dating after a tough breakup. But he didn’t know what kind of a girl he was looking for.” Jungkook flips back to the first page and points to Kim Seokjin’s name right at the very top. “So I took a notebook, wrote Love Note on the cover, wrote Seokjin’s name inside it, hid it somewhere around campus, and left the rest up to fate.”

“Are you saying the girl, Jiyeon, was the one who found the notebook and brought it back to Seokjin?”

“The same way you returned it to me, Y/N,” he nods. “After they got together, they filled out their section of the notebook, tagged another friend, and hid it again for someone else to find. The tradition continued amongst my friends, friends of friends, people I didn’t even know, until it finally found its way back to me.”

You get it now. It isn’t one creepy person’s notebook. It’s not witchcraft or a curse. It’s a curious object passed from person to person to spark a conversation and a potential relationship.

“So who wrote your name in it? And why?” You’d like to think someone like Jungkook doesn’t need a silly notebook to help him find a lover.

“My pal, Jung Hoseok. He said I’ve been looking lonely lately,” the boy says, glancing back at the list of presumably happy couples.

“Lonely despite always being surround by people who adore you?” Sounds ironic, but you think you know what he means.

“They don’t adore me. Just my face,” he sighs. Damn, what a struggle it must be to have a face as handsome as his. “I was hoping whoever found the notebook might adore more than what they see.”

“Sorry, can’t say that I do at the moment.” You use a teasing tone, but you aren’t lying either. What do you know about Jungkook other than the fact that he’s popular with a pretty face? That’s all you’ve ever judged him by. “I’m probably not the person you were hoping for.”

“You are who I was hoping for, Y/N,” he tilts his head when he speaks. “Adoring me is a bonus, but more importantly, I just wanted to meet someone I wouldn’t have otherwise met.”

Someone he wouldn’t have otherwise met? It’s true. The two of you probably wouldn’t be talking if it weren’t for the notebook. “I guess I fit that part of the criteria,” you say.

“Exactly.” He smiles at you as the lecture begins. You suppose only time will tell if you’ll come to also adore the boy as he so hopes.

-

As days, weeks, and even a month pass, you still have the Love Note in your possession. Recently, however, you get the feeling as though that’s about to change.

“Hey, Y/N,” says a familiar voice as a duffle bag claims the seat two spaces down from yours. The owner of the duffle bag follows, stepping into the seat right next to you from the row behind.

“Hello, Mr. I’m-too-cool-to-squeeze-through-the-aisle-like-a-normal-person,” you snicker at your psych buddy. Ever since you discovered Jungkook’s association to the Love Note, he’s made it a point to come find you during lecture. A month ago, you’d been sitting alone, and you’d still be sitting alone if you hadn’t stumbled upon the boy’s pink notebook. So you can’t say you aren’t enraptured by the gesture.

He chuckles at your fancy nickname for him before throwing an arm around your seat. You feel his eyes on you as you casually open the Love Note and scan the list.

“How many of these couples do you think are still together?” you ask, looking up and accidentally catching him staring at your lips. The new lip gloss you bought must be working.

“I’m sure not all of them are,” Jungkook strokes his wise man beard. “But all the people I personally know from the list are still going strong.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“It’s the fate of the Love Note, duh Y/N,” he gives you a cute little pinch on your cheek. “Our names are written there, and we’re still together, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, but we’re not together together… yet.” You try your best to get the boy to take a hint.

“Well, if anything, the Love Note has the power to bring two people together who wouldn’t otherwise be together, right?” he says. “Because of it, I learned I like being around someone who’s honest, open-minded, and adores me for more than just my face.”

You can’t help but smile at his compliment. He’s too sweet for you to handle. “How can you be so sure that I adore more than just your face?”

“Because you’ve put up with me for a whole month,” he chuckles. “And because you sent me a drunk text the other night, confessing your heart out to me.”

“I did what?” You fumble to get your phone out of your bag and check your messages. Was it possible to get so drunk that you don’t even remember getting drunk in the first place?

“I’m kidding, Y/N.” If there’s one thing you learned in the past month, it’s that Jungkook loves to tease you. But if it gets him to smile like that all the time, you don’t mind being a little gullible. “I’m still waiting for a proper confession.”

You look into the boy’s big eyes and then back at the bottom of the list where both of your names are written. “Should we make it official then?”

“I’m already ahead of you.” Clicking his pen, Jungkook adds a tiny little heart to the end of the foreshadowing he had written a month ago. He then writes the name of his single friend Park Jimin on the line below, shuts the notebook, and hands it back to you.

After lecture, Jungkook pulls you by the hand and leads you to the building where Jimin’s class should be ending. As the two of you wait for him to walk out, you feel yourself gravitating more and more to the boy until both of your arms are latched around his. You never realized how much you love the feeling of having someone so close to you.

“Is this the one you’ve been smitten over?” The boy you assume to be Jimin points in your direction. You look to Jungkook for an answer.

“Yes, this is the one,” he says, giving your hand a good squeeze. “Now we just need to find someone special for you.”

“Like who?” Jimin asks. “I can’t seem to keep a relationship for over a week.”

“We might have a solution for you,” Jungkook says as you show the other boy the Love Note. And despite his initial hesitance, Jimin eventually agrees to partake in the tradition after seeing the effect it had on you and his pal.

“Should we leave it here?” you ask Jungkook after saying farewell to Jimin and finding a cozy bench to sit on.

“Are you sure you’re ready to let it go?” He smirks at how you’ve held onto what you had initially thought of as a creepy ass notebook. You nod. “Okay, we’ll leave it here.”

He helps you set it down off to the side, leaning in for what you anticipate to be the first of many kisses between you and him. Just before giving you a taste, however, he stops to examine the sheen over your lips. “Is that new lip gloss?”

You nod, prompting the boy to lean back. “It’s cute,” he says.

For a second, you just blink at him and he blinks back as though he wasn’t about to kiss you. Oh, you get it. He’s teasing you again.

Taking the boy’s hand, you make the bold move yourself, pressing your lips ever so softly against his. Just enough to give him a taste of the gloss you’d picked out with him in mind.

After teasing you some more for being so bold, Jungkook helps you up from the bench as the two of you head home. Leaving the Love Note behind, you understand now that the divide between popular boys like him and average folks like you was never a curse bestowed upon you by fate. Rather, it was up to you to take fate into your own hands and spin it in your favor.

That all began the moment you picked up that pink notebook.

[kitaychan]

We need to talk

Summary: After a breakup, Ivan realizes his life was not as fullfilling as he had thought. Reaching out to old friends might prove to be a slow task with interesting outcomes.

Chapter preview: As he saw the man smiling, Ivan wanted to disappear, even after all these years he still managed to make a fool of himself. Feeling his face burning, he stepped closer to the door, “I’m sorry, let me clean this up- ”

The man chuckled. “I’ll make sure that Alfred bugs you about this, or was it his idea?”

The russian fidgeted with his hands, he was sure that Alfred would make fun of him for this, how clumsy could he be? “I’m sorry-”

Yao entered and retrieved an empty flower pot. “Should I leave him alone, Katya? your brother is flustered.”

Yekaterina snickered. “I’ll get a broom.”

Chapter 8: Fresh air

“We have to talk about a lot of things.”

Katya was smiling brightly, trying to focus on the road, stopping by to show him a new park.

Ivan smiled at the sight.

It was strange how a simple ride through the small city filled him with joy, visiting old places that had changed so much over the years, he opened the window to get a better look of the new surroundings, the breeze caressing his face while the sweet voice of Katya accompanied him, it was surely an experience he enjoyed.

An experience filled with a peacefulness he didn’t have in the big city, where he’d be stuck in traffic for hours, and the stress from work would chase him.

Ivan's joyfulness dropped dramatically when they stopped in front of his old high school. Katya turned to him smiling. “I have to retrieve some exams, you can come if you want”

Ivan nodded, even though he had planned on coming here, the abruptness of this encounter displeased him.

Sometimes, Ivan thought that his cat could read his mind, because as soon as he stepped outside the car, Boris started to protest loudly.

Looking at the tall and grey building made him feel nervous. After all these years, it looked the same. He could see himself walking down the corridors, chatting with Alfred. The polished floor still made that screech noise as people stepped on it.

Katya ushered him to take a look inside, they were received by a woman called Elizabeth, Ivan suspected that the woman mistook him, because she kept on addressing Katya while giving her a thumbs up and winking at him, she didn't ask too many questions after Yekaterina told her they were siblings.

In the main  corridor he saw a trophy holder alongside the teams' pictures.

There was a picture of the mathemathletes, and there were the reasons Ivan had made up for fearing closeness, Lien, Yao, Carlos,  and himself,  they all were smiling cheerfully in the picture.

He could say that he had fallen apart with all of them. Losing Carlos' number, not seeing Lien for her birthday as he was busy working, and Yao, well, they'd stopped talking after a dreadful attempt at asking the chinese out.

He averted his gaze, recognizing himself in another picture, posing with Alfred and Matthew by his side.

He recognized Mr. Kirkland's debate club, as well as the literates, among them was Alfred.

There were a lot of pictures, some he had seen before, others were new. He couldn't help but notice that Yao still appeared in some of them, with other students Ivan didn't know.

Of course he would, time didn't wait for anyone and Yao would probably keep on going with his life. Just as his sister, Yao had become a teacher.

It was almost insulting to discover such things because of Alfred’s or Katya’s words instead of knowing it from his once closest friend.  To say that it didn’t bother him would be a lie, Ivan had tried to move forward. It's not like he was obsessed with the oriental man,

He had made new friends, or at least, one new friend, but some nights he found himself wondering, if he even had a chance to befriend Yao again, what would have happened if he had reached out to him as Alfred suggested? If he hadn't been so stupid as to avoid him? Did Yao still remember him? Did he cross the man's mind?

His sister’s cheerful voice took him out of his thoughts. “Ivan, come here, take a look at the garden!”

Ivan frowned, he didn’t remember any garden, he did remember the poorly done attempt at preserving one they had made, forgetting about it after the year was finished, but even then, they could only manage to plant a few flowers that died quickly.

As he peered into what used to be a storage room, a wall painted with soft blue greeted him, a checklist of activities regarding gardening was written on a chalkboard.

Several rows of hand painted flower pots were arranged neatly in line, he could see some red tulips blooming. He could tell it was made by children as there were messy handprints and stickers alongside names in each of them.

Ivan stepped inside as his sister smiled. The small room gave a heartwarming sight, He saw an empty flower pot, painted with boats and a small sailor, standing by the window.

He reached to touch it, noticing that it wasn’t empty, the plant on it was small.

Approaching footsteps were audible, his sister was chatting amiably while Ivan inspected the small plant.

“Oh, Yao, Do you remember my brother? you used to tutor him on math-” His sister’s words stopped, the flower pot had slipped from his hands and shattered as it reached the floor.

Ivan glanced around with dread, the sharp noise was loud enough for them to notice, right?

Small chuckles came from the door, he saw Yao and Yekaterina trying not to laugh at him as he stuttered a string of apologies.

The brunette crossed his arms as he approached, examining the mess Ivan had made. Ivan remembered Alfred's conspiracies, and was tempted to believe them, Yao looked as if he had been frozen on time, his face still held the same kind but prideful air. The chinaman shook his head and sighed. “Peter is going to be dissapointed.”

As he saw the man smiling, Ivan wanted to disappear, even after all these years he still managed to make a fool of himself. Feeling his face burning, he stepped closer to the door, “I’m sorry, let me clean this up- ”

The asian chuckled. “I’ll make sure that Alfred bugs you about this, or was it his idea?”

The russian fidgeted with his hands, he was sure that Alfred would make fun of him for this, how clumsy could he be? “I’m sorry-”

Yao entered and retrieved an empty flower pot. “Should I leave him alone, Katya? your brother is flustered.”

Yekaterina snickered. “I’ll get a broom.”

Ivan watched her leave with dread, his heart sped up as he realized he was alone with him. What should he say? Should he bring up their last conversation? Should he apologize for his foolishness back then?

The incident had gained sense as the time passed, of course Yao would reject him, he was two years older than him and about to graduate when his stupid teenaged self declared to love him in front of his friends. The chinese had only stared at him dumbfounded, and he had skipped away from the classroom, avoiding Yao until he graduated.

Ivan sighed, there was no use in brooding about the past, he looked down at the plant. “It is not dead, is it?”

Yao reached for the broken pieces of the pot, putting them away, gently taking the small sprout. “I don’t think so, Peter won’t notice because you’ll paint another one, am I right?”

Ivan nodded. What else could he do? tell a kid that he messed his project?

The brunette smiled, pointing at a cabinet. “Ivan, why don’t you get another pot, they are over there.”

The russian nodded, promptly doing as he was told. Yao instructed him into planting a rose stem while he observed over his shoulder.

His nervousness decreased as he acknowledged the familiar tone the asian was using.  “Peter’s plant has not bloomed because Arthur killed it after watering it too much.” he explained,  “We had to replace it.”

Seeing Yao interact with him like that, made Ivan realize just how disconnected he had been from this place, he no longer knew where the grocery store was, and he was clueless as how to conversate with him. Somehow, he managed to improvise an awkward small talk about gardening and Arthur's bad luck.

When the task was finished and the dirt cleaned up, Katya waited by the door, watching him with a smile. “It is so nice seeing you two talk. It reminds me of my school days.”

Once they reached the car, Boris was meowing loudly. Sniffing his hand as Ivan reached to pet him.

Katya chuckled, pointing at the flower pot in his lap. "I can't believe you managed to exit school with homework."

Ivan laughed with her, at least now he had something to do besides tagging along in her errands, but a small part of him knew that he had an excuse to talk with Yao again.

[triplexdoublex]

My Ex’s Best Friend

Part 2/Epilogue here

Pairing: Mod Sun x Reader

Warnigs/Tags: nothing much just fluffy smut

Fun fact: Mod Sun and I really do share a birthday, down to the exact year! Also this was inspired by his song Tell Me All Your Secrets and I was picturing long curly haired Mod like in the video when I wrote this.

You and Mod Sun had been friends from practically your very first breath, long before he became famous, back when he was just Derek Smith. Your mothers shared a maternity room in the hospital the night you were both born. They became quite close and stayed in touch. Not only did you share a birthday, you shared everything with each other over the years as you grew up; from first teeth, first words, first steps to first heartbreaks, first time getting high, and also both your parents' divorce. You shared everything; there was nothing you didn't know about each other. You told each other your deepest darkest secrets, your fears, your dreams, and everything in between. Even as adults you’ve been by each other's side. He always made you laugh even through your spouts of depression and anxiety, and you were there for him during his rise to fame and when he struggled with his sobriety and also through his messy breakup with Bella. Despite all that, the two of you never saw each other as anything more than friends. Perhaps it was because your connection was so deeply rooted in friendship since birth, that the thought of being together romantically had never crossed either of your minds. In fact, he would often set you up with his friends, which is how you started dating Colson; Mod’s best friend. It wasn’t until the night Mod was there for you when you and Colson broke up that you realized how perfect you were for each other.

**********

“Hey, you weren’t sleeping were you?” You said when Mod picked up your call at 3:00 am.

“Nah, girl you know I’m a night owl. Whoooo whoooo,” he laughed. “What’s good?”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Nothing, actually. That’s kinda why I’m calling. I was wondering if I could stay at your place for a bit, me and Colson broke up.”

“Awww nooo! Yeah of course you can stay here. Lemme go get something set up for you, and you can tell me all about it when you get here, okay?” He said sweetly.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you answered. “See you in a few.”

***********

“Hey, come in, come in,” Mod welcomed you at the door, shirtless in a pair of tie-dye joggers. “I set up the pull-out bed out here for you but it’s actually not very comfortable and I want you to get a good night's sleep, so you take my bed. I’ll sleep out here.”

“No, I’ll take the pull-out, it's fine,” you responded. “I doubt I’ll sleep anyways, too much on my mind.”

“I insist,” he said as he grabbed your bags, carrying them into his room. “I’m gonna go make you some tea, and then you can tell me what happened.”

While he brewed your tea, you changed into an oversized nightshirt you had packed and climbed into bed, fluffing the pillows so you could sit upright.

“Here ya go,” he carefully carried the cup of tea over to you. “Careful it’s still hot.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, wrapping your hands around the warm cup.

“Okay girl, so tell me what is going on,” he said as he plopped himself at the end of the bed lying on his stomach. “Am I gonna have to beat Kells ass?” He joked knowing he could never win in a fight against him.

“No,” you started sadly. “It was mutual. We’re just too different for each other, ya know. Like our love languages are just not compatible.”

“I totally get that, I do. People really underestimate the power of love languages. You could meet the nicest person in the world but if you ain’t vibing on that same level, it ain’t gonna work.” 

“Exactly, like I need words of affirmation and quality time, and let's be honest that's not easy for Kells to do. He’s a busy man, I can’t fault him for that. The little free time he has he spends with his daughter and I’m not gonna take that away from him. So we just decided to go our separate ways; no hard feelings, no drama,” you said before taking a sip of your tea.

“That’s what I like to hear, baby. No hurt feelings, no drama; we keep the energy around us positive,” he swirled his finger as he talked. “I know it sucks, I know it’s sad, but you guys are doing this the right way.”

“Can I be honest with you for a second,” you took another swig of tea.

“Of course! Don’t hesitate to tell me the truth, the last thing I’d ever do is judge you. You know that,” he answered.

“I know,” you smiled. “The truth is the main reason I’m upset is not even breaking up with Colson or missing him as much as it is just me worrying about just being lonely and having to eventually start over again with someone new. I mean ‘cause let's be honest I’m not getting any younger here, and I wanna get married and have a family one day but I feel like I’m running out of time,” your eyes started to well with tears. ”My youth is slipping away, I’m not as pretty as I used to be —”

“Whoa, whoa, I’m gonna stop you right there,”  he scooted up the bed, taking hold of the tips of your fingers. “First of all, you are so so so so so beautiful,” he said as he shook his curls. “Inside and out,” he added stroking his thumb over your knuckles.

“Thank you,” you smiled into your tea.

“You know what I am gonna miss though…” you paused to take a sip. “The sex.” you laughed.

“You nasty,” Mod laughed as well, rolling himself off the bed. “Well since you seem to be feeling a little better, I’m gonna go to bed and let you sleep,” he said as he made his way to the bedroom door. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Actually…” you began, setting your cup on the nightstand. “Do you think you can sleep in here with me? I don't wanna be alone.”

“Sure thing, scoot over” he laughed, playfully pushing you to the other side of the bed. “At least let me get my usual side.”

**********

You both eventually dozed off, only for you to be stirred awake a few hours later when Mod rolled to his side in his sleep out of habit, forgetting he was sharing his bed. Your eyes  — still heavy with slumber — fluttered open to his sleeping face mere inches from your own. His proximity made you feel peaceful, comforted and content. There was something in that moment that felt so ‘right’ and yet you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. One of his hands laid palm side up next to yours and as your eyes began to flirt with sleep again you found yourself drawn to their creases. You gently traced over his lifeline and love line which caused his fingers to flicker reflexively. You tamed them with your fingertips, accidentally rousing Mod from his sleep. His tired eyes blinked sleepily in and out of wakefulness, a smile spreading across his face. Your fingers flirted together hesitantly before finally slotting into one another's. 

It was in that exact moment everything began to make sense; It was Mod, it’s always been Mod. You had searched high and low for the perfect man to tick all your boxes, while all along Mod had been hiding in plain sight.

With your hand still intertwined with Mod’s, you rolled to your side, pulling his arm around you, making him the big spoon to your little spoon. He was so close you could feel his breath on your neck, the sensation traveling straight to your core. You couldn’t help but squirm, your backside rolling against his pelvis. And he couldn’t help the pretty sounds that left his mouth as much as he tried to hold them back. It was then that you knew you needed to feel him inside you. 

You slipped his hand from yours and guided it under your nightshirt to your bare breast, pressing each of his fingers into your flesh until he took over, gripping and squeezing as he began to rut against you. Your chest heaved with want, burying your breasts even further into his grasp as his mouth showered the crook of your neck with open mouth kisses. Awkwardly you angled your head back towards him and he moved his kisses to your lips, parting them with his tongue. You welcomed it eagerly, pushing your tongue in past his lips as well, and tangling your hand in his curls. The warm embrace of his mouth felt like home, your tongue desperately wanting to take up a permanent residence there. You needed more. 

With your free hand, you guided his hand slowly down from your breast to your white cotton panties, slipping it in past the waistband. He gladly accepted the invitation, rubbing firm yet gentle circles over your clit as he continued to kiss and rut against you. You removed your hand from his hair, and placed it over the growing bulge in his colorful joggers, palming him with need. 

With one hand still working over your sensitive bud, he used the other to pull down the back of your panties, just enough to grant him access. He then pulled himself free and entered you from behind, your wetness welcoming him inside. Instantly your bodies fell into the natural rhythm of lovemaking. You spoke no words, your bodies communicating solely with the universal language of intimacy and breathy moans. You kept at it until the glow of dawn both reaching your peak as the sun slowly rose above the horizon. Exhausted, you both almost immediately fell back asleep, Mod still inside you. It was Noon by the time you both awoke.

“Mornin’ Sunshine,” you teased playfully, tracing your fingers over the tattoos on his chest.

“Mornin’,” he smiled. “I — um, about last night. I apologize if I was outta place. I know you initiated it but I should've realized you were vulnerable from the breakup. I should've stopped you from making the rash decision, but something just felt so...so —”

“So right?”  you interrupted him.

“Yeah, exactly!” he said sitting up. “How’d you know I was gonna say that?”

“ ‘cause I felt it too,” you smiled, sitting up alongside him. “I love you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted in a partner. No one’s ever cared about me like you do.”

“I love you, too” he placed a kiss on your forehead. “Like I’m IN love with you,” he smiled giddily. “God damn, why’d it take us so long to figure this out,” he let out a small laugh, raking his fingers through his hair in disbelief.

“I dunno but uh — I was thinking…” You paused to swing a leg over his waist straddling him. “Round two?”

He quickly gripped your ass, “Oh HELL yeah,baby.”

Part 2/ Epilogue here

[what-if-i-imagine]

“You’re so obsessed to find someone to love you because you can’t love yourself.”

Requested by my goddess: @a-single-drop-of-ink​

Wally looked up from his home work the moment he heard the familiar feather light footfalls coming down the hall of his dormitory.

 In barely a second he was at the door opening it up, smiling at his roommate whose hands were full of groceries. His roommate smiled back that perfect smile that could make any heart melt, and Wally remembered what he had told his Aunt over FaceTime the night before while he was out.

“He makes it feel like home.”

His Aunt had gone from her joking, bubbly happiness to a more subdued, love-struck but still happy state. She had given him that same smile she made any time they went through her photo albums of her and his uncle.

“Be careful,” she told him. Because she knew. Wally had told her all about his roommate, and she knew just as well as him where this would go.

“How was your date last night?” he asked with a mischievous smile, fighting back the thoughts in the back of his head.

“Well, I didn’t come back to the dorm, did I?” Dick, his roommate, replied easily. It was true, he hadn’t come back to the dorm at all the night before, shooting Wally a text around midnight saying this new girl he liked was letting him stay at her place. He pretended to rack his brain to remember her name, even though it was burned into his heart just like all the others.

“Kori, right? The foreign exchange student?” he asked.

“Yup,” Dick popped the P as a grin grew on his face. “She was great Wally, she was perfect. I think she’s the one.”

“You said that about Barbara G too. And Vic from sci. And Raya from the gym. And Roy from the coffee shop-”

“You’ve made your point!” Dick laughed, wacking him playfully with a box of plastic forks. “And for your information, all of them were the one, they just didn’t realize it.”

“You mean how Vic was too focused on school for commitment, Raya wasn’t looking for something serious, Barbara fell for one of her bandmates, and Roy was in love with your younger brother?” Wally asked.

“You know, you can be really mean sometimes,” Dick said with no heat.

“Just pointing out the obvious,” Wally shrugged. “What are we having for dinner?”

“Well you have the choice between the two greatest delicacies in the land,” Dick said with much flourish, unpacking the groceries into their mini fridge and food bin. “Either the Irish dish of Luck Charms cereal, or the Japanese dish of Ramen.”

“I think I’ll go for the Japanese option tonight. I had cereal this morning.”

“That shouldn’t stop you.”

Wally rolled his eyes and got out one of the disposable bowls they should probably not be using in a microwave and started on his food. As he and Dick watched the opening credits for the most recent cheesy romcom tv show Dick had gotten addicted to, Wally wondered if Kori was really going to be the one. The one was going to some eventually, obviously, but how soon was that going to be?

The actual one only showed up a month later, after Dick and Kori’s civil breakup. By Civil, Wally really meant explosive by anyone else's terms, but for Dick this was like a beautiful kiss goodbye.

Of course, Dick always ended up good friends with his exs and his exs’ new partner. There was even a joking group chat with them all, with one being added each time Dick made up with his most recent breakup.

But at the start, his breakups were always messy. And Dick, in turn, became messy for at least a week afterwards.

He stumbled into the apartment that night, obviously recovering from a hangover caused by morning drinking with Roy, a new set of hickies around his neck and a hand in his disheveled hair.

“It’s a Monday, Dick,” Wally pointed out, barely glancing up from his homework.

“I’m honestly over caring,” Dick snapped a bit, chugging down one of Wally’s protein shakes from the fridge. Wally didn’t react, either to the snipish behavior or the obvious disturbance of personal property. He was used to this. Trying to point out a mistake to Dick or tell him what was good for him automatically set off that same defensive part of his brain that came into play while fighting with his father.

“So who were they?” Wally asked, referring to the hickies.

Dick hummed in though, looking down at himself, “The older ones from last night are from Helena, Babs’s other bandmate. The newer ones were courtesy of Little Wing’s friend Artemis. I think she’s related to Donna somehow?”

“No follow up dates?”

“Shut up,” Dick snapped again. His expression softened after as he sighed, taking another sip of the protein shake and putting it back with the mercy of leaving at least half for Wally’s nighttime run. “Sorry. Just tired.”

“I can tell,” Wally said levelly.

As he watched Dick fall back onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow, he let a common thought when it came to Dick’s breakup cross his mind.

He always does this to himself. Subconsciously on purpose.

It wasn’t Dick’s fault. He had been like this as long as Wally could remember, and probably even longer than their friendship had been in place. The cycle was a vicious one that Dick had had on repeat since he was fifteen from what Wally knew.

Crush hardly, love wholly, hurt deeply.

Fall in love, get in a relationship, torture self when it ends.

Wally knew what a self destructive man looked like, and Dick was definitely one. It ran in his family based off of what he had seen of his father, Jason and Cassandra.

“I called in an order for pizza,” Wally informed him, looking back to his laptop. “It should be here in an hour. Got a new movie too while I was at the store that I think you’ll like.”

“Did you get ice cream?” Dick asked, muffled by his pillow.

“Three different kinds and a bottle of cheap wine.”

“You’re a saint.”

Once Wally finished the first draft of his thesis and the pizza arrived, the both crawled down to their little cozy spot in front of their tv that sat on the ground.

The movie was shitty. Most of the ones dick liked were, but Wally still loved watching them with Dick. This particular movie was a hallmark movie from the early 2010s, which should say enough about the plot alone, and it was Dick’s perfect brand of sappy that hit a little too close to home where the girl realizes her boyfriend was shitty and she belonged with the gymnast heart throb with a heart of gold.

“Hey Wally,” Dick whispered as the main character ran into the arms of her true love.

“Yeah?” Wally hummed, leaning back into Dick’s hand where it was gently scratching at his head.

“What’s wrong with me?” Wally wouldn’t have even heard him if he weren’t leaned back on his chest. He didn’t freeze, but his mind did stutter for a moment. He was shocked when he subtly checked the wine bottle to see it was completely untouched.

“What do you mean Dickie?” he asked, glancing up only for Dick to nudge his head back down to face the tv.

“You know what I mean,” Dick said. “What’s wrong with me? All these people in the movies, all of my exs and friends, it only takes them one or two tries before they find the one. Why can’t I?”

Something wet dripped onto Wally’s head as Dick pressed his nose into his hair. He was only slightly shaking, but Wally could still feel it at every point of contact.

Wally got up, gently fighting past Dick’s refusal to let him go too far and turned to face him. He leaned forward on his knees between Dick’s legs and cupped his face, stroking away the small streams of tears.

“Because you want someone who loves you,” Wally answered, staring into those deep, pain filled eyes. The pain he saw there he recognized, maybe not as his own, but still as familiar. A deeply rooted self depreciation that offered no room for growth.

“That doesn't explain why I go out every day when I’m alone looking for someone new,” Dick defended, more tears falling. “It doesn’t make sense, Wally. Wanting love doesn’t explain this mess.”

“It does, Dick. You’re so obsessed to find someone to love you because you can’t love yourself,” Wally knew he was crossing a few lines by saying this, but he couldn’t stop himself. IT was obvious in the way Dick found his identity in the people he loved. His family, his friends, and above all else his long list of past lovers for however long they lasted could testify to that. Dick looked like he didn’t want to believe what he was hearing and was more confused than ever. Wally took it as a sign to elaborate.

“You constantly go out looking for these boys and girls because you want them to love you enough that you forget how empty you feel. It’s not your fault, it’s just the way you and your family work. You don’t think you deserve love, but you can't stand yourself when you’re without it.”

“Wally,” Dick’s voice broke and hitched, his face flooding with the horror of how on point his words were. Tears spilled faster than before, and Wally leaned even further forward to wrap his arms around his friend. He tangled his fingers gently in his hair and rhythmically rubbed his back, letting him cry it out on his shoulder.

“You’re wrong,” Dick said, voice wet and heavy with his tears.

“How am I wrong?” Wally whispered, barely a breath against the nape of Dick’s neck.

“It’s not- the only- reason,” Dick’s voice broke up with soft sobs.

Wally held him a little tighter, rocking awkwardly back to sit on his legs as Dick moved to his knees too without breaking any contact. Dick was leaning more into him now, and Wally silently prayed he wouldn’t fall back with the weight into the  that was now playing the ending credits,

“It’s because I love someone else,” Dick sobbed miserably. “I love someone else, but they don’t deserve the mess I am.”

“That’s not true. It’s just what your brain wants you to think,” Wally shook his head.

“It is true,” Dick was barely audible over his heart wrenching sobs. He clung to Wally tighter, his fingers digging almost harshly into the back of Wally’s shirt.

“It’s true because it’s you. You’re the one.”

Wally froze this time, his breath completely stopping.

How many times he had dreamt of Dick saying those words, and none of those dreams happened like this.

Wally regained his composure as quickly as he did everything else in his life and was back to comforting his roommate.

“It’s okay Dickie,” he said, pressing a ghost-like kiss to his hair. “You’re the one too. You always have been.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won't. But we are going to get you help, okay? You need help Dick, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s normal to need help.”

“Are you going to call my dad?” Dick asked pitifully, the sobs dying down to sniffles.

“Maybe. If that’s what you want. We will talk about it in the morning when you’ve had more rest.”

“Okay.”

Dick went quiet for a moment then spoke again, “Hey Wally?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s easier to love myself when I’m with you.”

Wally didn’t say anything in response. He just kissed his head again and rocked them back and forth until Dick fell asleep.

[pandawritesmanythings]

(A Medieval!AU Loki x Stark!Reader Story)

Chapter Summary: Where our adventure begins...

Word Count: 2,018

Warnings: Angst? Breakups?

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you so much to those who liked the idea and decided this story was worth your time! I hope you enjoy!

-

Loki found himself looking out the window, while the woman on his bed slept soundly. He took a breath of the salty air that belonged to that dark and secretive night. A night of caresses and whispers, always aware that anybody could walk in but fully devoted to each other.

The northern star sparkled brightly against the dark sky and he found himself staring at it. At the millions of stars that he had explored yet still so many, he had out of his reach. He couldn't map further from what he could see. But there was no brighter star than the one that he had left to rest on his bed.

He approached her quietly and sat beside her. A hand petting her hair to wake her.

"Time to go love." He whispered as her eyes fluttered open.

She let out a heavy and sleepy sigh. "Must I?"

"I wish you hadn't. But you must."

"If only this wasn't so complicated..."

"Yes... If only." Loki stared out of the window. He knew this night was the last with his true love. "But despite what happens tomorrow, you must know that it was you. It was always and will always be just you."

They pressed their foreheads together, him trying to transmit his love for her and her trying to suppress the tears. After tonight these secret rendezvous and quiet cuddles would be no more. The dark prince was going to marry someone else, and there was nothing either of them could do.

"Promise me you'll never forget me." She asked him.

"I promise. But you also have to promise that you'll move on."

She kept quiet. Her golden hair was messy and it had fallen off her braid. Despite her disheveled look, she was still the most beautiful creature to Loki. His angel was struggling with her words, but he couldn't blame her. This was for the best, but it didn't mean that it wasn't hard.

Finally, she conceded. "I-I promise..." 

That night they would finally admit their love to each other, but they would have to painfully part before that love could ever be consumed.

-

The day of departure was extremely stressful for you. You paced around your room and Wanda helped you finish going over your luggage.

"Are you sure I have everything? Maybe double-check the list." You nervously paced as you pulled your dress to make it neater for the umpteenth time.

Wanda bit her lip in amusement. "Darling, this is the third time we have gone over about what you are taking and what you aren't. You have to take a breath. Everything will be fine."

You sat in front of your vanity and looked at the bags under your eyes in the mirror.

"Alright. Yes. Everything will be fine." You placed your head in your hands, and even though you tried to convince yourself, you had to admit that you really weren't feeling confident.

"This just needs to work Wanda. It does. I can't afford to slip up."

She kneeled next to you, and understanding look on her face. "I know my dear friend. But it will do you no good to worry like this. Come, you must speak to your brother. If you are nervous I can't begin to imagine how nervous he is."

You nodded and led the way to your little brother's room. After knocking, his brown eyes met yours and he beamed at you before tackling you into a hug. Not very princely like, but you loved him a lot so who cares.

"You came!" He beamed at you.

"Of course I came!" You smiled back. "I wouldn't want to leave without saying goodbye!"

A sad look crossed his face. "Do you really have to go?" He sheepishly asked.

"I know it's not ideal Peter, but it will only be for a little while, with some luck I'll be able to come back here soon." You tried to remain positive but the teen remained with a worried expression etched to his face.

"But you won't come back alone, will you?"

You hesitated. Your parents had been adamant about not letting Peter know many details, but you couldn't lie straight to his face.

"Best case scenario I won't."

"Why does that have to be the best-case scenario?" He grumbled, becoming slightly more annoyed.

"You know full well why Peter." You straightened up. "This is my duty and I'll fulfill it if I have to."

"But what about-"

Your glare and stern look shut him up immediately, especially after noticing a pair of guards walking nearby.

A sigh fell from your lips. "I don't wish to fight you."

"Me neither."

"Then please understand. I just want you to care for Morgan. And don't worry about me. I'm the royal heir. It's my obligation to worry about arranged marriages, not yours."

Both of your foreheads were pressed against each other. Both trying to draw strength from the other and still show your love, because you knew that in public you wouldn't be able to.

"I love you, little brother."

"And I, you."

-

The realm consisted of 9 kingdoms. Towards the ocean, was Asgard. A beautiful and towering kingdom. Rich in resources and culture. It was one of the biggest and most prosperous of the kingdoms.

To it's right was Vanaheim, which was a series of hunting tribes that had their own system of government. It was unusual for the Vanir to leave Vanaheim, and the thick vegetation and merciless fauna rendered it almost impossible to travel through it if not guided by a local.

To Asgard's left was Alfheim. An illustrious monarchy that made its home on the edge of the mountains, and had made itself rich for acquiring the precious gems and stones that decorated their palaces and streets. They lived quietly isolated and had refused for centuries to trade with any of the other kingdoms. But they had accepted to do so thanks to the Yggdrasil Accord.

Deeper into the mountains was Svartalheim. Their kingdom was to be found inside the mountains. Not much was known about them since they had remained isolated from the other kingdoms and despite the Accord, they still mostly kept to themselves.

At the top of the mountains and the subsequent valleys was Jotunheim. This kingdom was hostile. They bred warriors from infancy and were terribly dangerous to the other kingdoms. They were the strongest in the military sense. They had the best strategist and fiercest warriors. It was no surprise that anyone who approached the kingdom uninvited had gone missing and never heard of again.

In the valley below the mountains, there was Nidavelir. A kingdom of artisans and poets. A stark contrast to their Jotun neighbors, they were a complete opposite to them. Being mostly unarmed and interested only in refining their craft and methods of farming, they were the kingdom most defenseless yet with the most resources of the bunch.

Next, there was Niflheim. This was a neutral zone. A zone that was for the rulers of the kingdoms to come together in peace. As a result, the people of the place were pacifists and tried to share their ways with the other realms.

Then there was Hel. It had once been a powerful kingdom. But a raging fire had turned the green and beautiful forest into a barren and ashy wasteland. The people who lived there were ruled by their queen who barely had contact with the other kingdoms. Their system works like any other tribe would.

And finally, right in the middle of all the kingdoms, there was Midgard. The youngest of the kingdoms. This was your home. And this was yours to protect. Once you were old enough to understand your responsibility you took it with honor. Your small but resourceful centric land was everything to you. And you would protect it against the other kingdoms with your life.

"You've been looking at that map for a long time." You heard your father's voice.

He was coming towards you. His confident stride contrasting with the worry lines and sad smirk.

You smiled back at him before you looked back over the map. "Just making a mental list."

"For?"

"Well. If I am to go to Asgard I must make a good case for my visit and arrangement, must I not?" You smirked back at him, hoping it would lighten his mood.

To your delight, he seemed to relax a bit, but it didn't last long before he took a good look at you and smiled sadly.

"You've grown so much, you know?" He cupped your face in his hands and brought you in a hug. "I'm proud of you."

You couldn't cry. You wouldn't allow your self. It wasn't fair to him. He needed you strong. 

"I love you, dad."

"And I love you, my little girl..."

The doors opened and you saw your mother stride in. Her strawberry blonde hair flowed as her cream dress did. She was the image of perfection and grace. Oh, how you wanted to be like her when you grew up.

She called your name softly and embraced you. You felt her love in the soft hug. She looked at you with the same fondness as your dad.

"She's become such a wonderful woman, hasn't she, Tony?"

He nodded in agreement. "Almost as beautiful as her mum."

"Oh, hush you make me blush." You teased.

"You'll be a wonderful queen when the time comes my dear." Your mother nodded towards you, disregarding your last teasing comment.

"Thank you, mother."

"That's why I keep saying that you don't need to go to Asgard!" Your dad tried to sway you once more before you left. "You're absolutely capable of managing Midgard by yourself! Just saying!"

Your mother tried to interject, but you beat her to it. You held your dad's hands and looked earnestly into his eyes.

"I know that, dad. I truly do."

"Then why go?" He basically breathed out, it was painful for everyone, but you knew that for your father it was probably the hardest.

"You know why. There is no other option. At least not one that would want to make an alliance with us. We have the common ground, and benefits to profit of." You lowered your head in slight resignation. "We both know that this was not what we had planned. But I'll do whatever it takes to keep our people and my family safe. Please... You have to trust me."

He looked back at your mom, searching for her to correct you, tell you there was another way, anything. But when he saw the resignation on her tired eyes he knew there was nothing he could do. You were going through with this. Like it or not, you were going to do it.

"I trust you. I just don't trust the Asgardians."

You pulled a section of your skirt where there was a hidden knife and he raised an eyebrow at you. "How many?"

"Three more under the skirt." You flipped a thin razor from your long sleeve dress. "One right here, just in case."

"Attagirl." He smirked back at you.

"Now those are for emergencies, alright dear? We don't want war. Please reconsider taking so many." Your mom tried to interject.

You gasped exaggerating your expressions. "Me, by myself at a strange kingdom and you prefer I go unarmed? Mother, you wound me worse than any Asgardians ever could."

She raised an eyebrow at you, unimpressed. "I'm just saying choose your battles, child. You go to make peace, so avoid inadvertently causing a war between us and Asgard."

The three of you went over the plan and the proposal once more, before they escorted you outside the castle and let you off to the mysterious land than was Asgard. 

As your home and family faded in the distance you saw Peter hugging Morgan to his chest who cried for her big sister. You finally allowed the tears to run. For you, your family, and everything that was about to be taken away from you.

-

TAG LIST (OPEN)

[stimmedtavi]

Denial (ft. cryptane)

He keeps telling himself he didn’t mean it, that it was a lie and he was just angry. But if it were a lie why did he say it? He’s someone on the run sure, but someone like Octavio? Crypto wouldn’t lie to him. Right?

((heavily based off of “we belong together” by mariah carey and it SHOWS, also this is my first fic I’ve done in awhile so I am r-u-s-t-y ruuustty! excuse that!))

[Crypto POV]

The whirring of my drone has never been more bothersome in my life. Hack got really damaged during the games today and now I have to fix him. It was Pathy that shot him down today, on a squad with Renee and Octavio. I hate that I know Octavio probably told Pathfinder to go for Hack and not me, he cares too much to give orders to take me out, whether we’re broken up or not. It aches in my heart for a moment but I know that what’s done is done. Nothing changes the past and you can either run from it or deal with it. I’m clearly a fan of the former. It wasn’t supposed to be a messy breakup, and in honesty it really wasn’t. Of course he got angry with me and he yelled, he had every single right to, I don’t know how I would have reacted had I been in his position. I wasn’t drunk or on anything either, the words just slipped out during a simple argument and Octavio lost it. I don’t know if I meant it or not, I can’t tell if I’m a liar or not but either way he’s not going to believe me. The ache in my heart is painful as I remember how hurt he looked as he stormed out of my room. I carefully lay down my drone and go lay down on my bed, too scared I’ll end up smashing Hack to pieces due to my emotions. For a moment, when I’m laying down that night trying to sleep, I wish he were beside me. We were never very careful and I hated it at first. I wasn’t even supposed to have any emotions towards the people that took part in these games. My original plan got ruined when I saw him and I denied it at first. I didn’t want to develop feelings for someone I barely knew, it felt wrong and weird to want to trust someone just by watching how they acted. I told myself I didn’t want that. I denied it. Denying seems to be something I’m good at now. I hate the truth of what I said to Octavio. I was surprised he even believed it. His boyfriend, me, who doted on him and cared for him endlessly, telling him that I didn’t love him. It didn’t even make sense to me. I must have been lying but even so, why would I lie to him? He’s the only one in this damn sport that knows  me well, so I never imagined I’d be lying here alone. Sleeping is difficult now, without him pressed up beside me, snoring like a hog, but I manage some nights. I hope tonight I can. The feeling of regret only worsens the next night at Mirage’s bar. As usual Elliot and Octavio are the entertainment for the night, goofing off like the idiots they are. I’m trying to enjoy myself but I feel a twinge of pain as I think about how I used to make Tavi smile like that. His silly little smile he’d get when he’d done something stupid and wanted to show me. I miss it all. I miss him so much and he’s in the same goddamned room as me. Being friends is nothing like being lovers, friends are further from lovers than nothing is. So maybe it’s best that I watch from afar and become nothing to him. [Octane POV] I can feel his eyes on me right now. Elliot knows I’m hurting but offered to let me goof off at the bar tonight in hopes to lift my spirits but it’s so difficult when I can feel his stare on me. Some people would be creeped out but not me. I know those eyes can be kind and loving and hold the most adoration like you wouldn’t believe. So to have him having his eyes on me is something I can’t quite hate. At least I’ve got his attention. I wonder for a second if he regrets what he said, but I know Crypto doesn’t just say things for no reason. It came as a shock to me and so I grew angry. I felt betrayed. He let me go on and imagine a life together, led me on for too long, only to drop me like an empty magazine. I hate lying alone at night, thinking about how his arms used to hold me close, thinking about how I can’t kiss him good night and good morning. This feeling is so insanely awful and I can’t stand it. We belonged together, or at least I thought as much. When I finally get back from the bar, it’s around 4am or something of the sort and I’m still not tired. I just want him home, here, where I am. There’s an entire piece of me missing right now and he’s just down the hall. I just can’t bring myself to go down there and knock on his door, I can barely believe he doesn’t love me. The words ring in my mind a thousand times over and this week has been the only week where I haven’t been bouncing on my feet 24/7. Heartbreak has left me stilled in my tracks and it’s like I can’t move on. I’m still in shock and I can’t move. Stim has nothing on him; He was my driving force for the months we were together. I’m Octane still, the daredevil adrenaline junkie so many love, but when I’m not cheating death and kicking ass I’m just Octavio. Stage me is not Octavio, but Octavio doesn’t feel right without Crypto. And sure it could be made out as dependent, but the truth is that he was home. These games aren’t home, neither is the compound. He is where I feel most safe and most loved, and that’s where home is. I’ve got no house and all I could pack was my broken heart. I just wish my home would come back to me, I wish Crypto were here so badly. The other Legends have always been kind to me, especially Wattson and Mirage, but it’s just not the same. I don’t know who I have to confide in now, nor do I know anyone else that stays up as late as I do into the night. There’s no one else out there like him and I wish there was so I could be in love with them instead. I would fall in love with people like him a thousand times over though, but because they’re all him I’d be left anyways. What is the point? I could ask God. My brain is getting too loud so I turn on my music, apparently the last song I had on is also about heartbreak so I quickly skip to the next one. Unfortunately it’s still heartbreak themed. I just can’t fucking catch a break tonight can I?  I feel so thrown right now, like I’m just a ragdoll that’s been beat down on until I’m just chunks of stuffing in fabric. Fucking empty. I toss my phone onto my bed angrily and it starts a storm. I’m not usually someone who throws a tantrum like this but fuck I can’t stand this emotion. I can’t fucking do it. I can feel my skin fucking crawling and I hate that I have no idea where I went wrong in this situation. I’ve spent hours trying to figure out what I did wrong and I can’t identify a damn thing. At this point I’m tempted to admit to myself that he may not have even loved me in the first place. I was just a fucking plaything to him and I got used. As fucking usual gullible Octavio gets toyed with. So excitable and dumb, I wish I knew better but he was so kind. Fuck he was so kind and I miss it. I bite into my pillow as I fall face first into my bed, tears stinging at my eyes as I try not to cry again. Caustic has told me he can hear when I have my ‘Moments’ as he called them. Just as suddenly as I fell onto my bed, I roll over and sit up. I reach down to take my legs off and when they detach I toss them onto the floor, landing with a clatter I know will piss off my neighboring Legends. I can’t find it in myself to care, at least they don’t have to hear me cry. I just want him back in my life, I hate that he’s so far. I want him right here. I know in my heart it’s wrong but I still think him and I were meant for each other. Physically freaking out isn’t the right thing to do so I settle on laying still and just gripping my sheets as tightly as I can. I might just stay the whole night like this, waiting for a knock on my door, waiting for him to come back.

[twillytoothpick]

What You Need

Summary: You were just going over there to comfort him, really, that's the only reason.

Player: Travis Konecny

Words: 2,802

Trigger warnings: none

Author's note: This is just a little drabble so I can dip my toe back into writing after not writing anything for over 6 years. I owe a huge thank-you to both @fridays--child and @thesmutpeasant for helping me with this. One was kind enough to beta for me and gave me honest feedback, the other helped me flesh out the idea for this story.

--

You huffed as you looked at your phone. A week, a full week, since Travis had contacted you in any way. When Morgan had dumped him you had assumed that he would follow the same predictable route to get over her. First, cry in your arms (you enjoyed that part more than you should) then go boozing with the boys and bang some random hottie. Bam, his ego is once again at full capacity!

Your thumb hovered over Travis's name, you just wanted to know if he was still alive at this point. Your phone buzzed suddenly in your hand, an act that shocked you to the point that you dropped it on your face. Grumbled curses fell from your lips while you picked it back up and squinted at the name that appeared.

 “Why is Nolan texting me?”

 Granted, Nolan was Travis's best friend and you two ended up socializing quite a bit, you had simply never clicked. Two quiet, awkward people do not equal a friendship, unfortunately.

Have you talked to Travis at all?

Your frown deepened as a heavy feeling settled in your gut. Travis not texting you was out of character but him not texting Nolan was something that worried you.

No, he hasn’t spoken to me since the thing with Morgan went down.

Nolan's reply appeared with moments,

I’ve been to his place three times and he won’t even answer the door. He won't even reply on Snap.

You sensed the question before he asked it and groaned while you typed out your message.

 Don’t worry Nolan, Mom Friend is on it.

 You hauled yourself off the couch, your mind had already begun to work on a solution when your phone buzzed again.

You’re a beaut, (Y/N)!

 An exasperated smile stretched across your lips before you set your phone down. First, you had to change your clothes… then a trip to the grocery store.

--

You panted as you hauled yourself up yet another flight of stairs. A stream of mental curses ran through your head the entire time as you muttered to yourself.

“You would think that if you’re going to get someone to check on a person, you would at least have the decency to tell them that the elevator is broken!”

Of course, the little princess had to have a place on the top floor.

You finally reached your destination, the grocery bags digging into your arms. You floundered for a second as you fought to lift your arm high enough to knock. Secretly, you didn’t want to know what was on the other side. An unpredictable Travis wasn’t something you were used to. You had gotten used to his habits since you met him at a party three years ago. He still hadn’t answered so you knocked again, more insistently this time. Your heart clenched while your familiar mantra for anything about Travis running through your head.

He just didn’t hear it, it's okay.

The same mantra had run through your head many times over the years.

When you realized that you thought about him more than you should.

He's just a friend, it's okay.

When you saw him making out with your friend at a party and it felt like you got stabbed.

He's just drunk, it's okay.

When he had sex with that same friend within earshot of you.

He's just in it for an ego boost, it's okay.

The moment you realized that you had fallen for a manwhore.

He'll grow out of it, it's okay.

When you finally understood that you would never be the kind of woman that he looked at twice.

I’m fine with just being his friend, really, it's okay.

You were snapped out of your trance by the sound of the door opening. It revealed a decidedly dishevelled Travis, unshaven and clearly unshowered. You coughed slightly when the smell of an unwashed man hit you. You turned your head in an effort to hide the wrinkle of your nose.

“(Y/N), what are you doing here,” he drowned at you while he spoke. “I’m not really in the mood for any company now so maybe you should just-"

You jammed your foot against the door when he tried to close it.

“Travis Konecny, you dropped off the face of the earth and worried everyone in the process!” You huffed at him as you shouldered your way into his home, “Yet you have the gall to try to send me away?”

You turned and glared at him while he shut the door. You evaluated him at that moment, taking in the sunken posture and the bags under his eyes. Your heart broke a little at the sight. You had never seen him this broken up over a girl. He would have his little pity party then carry on, this was a million time worse. At least Morgan waited until the season was over to end it.

“We're your friends and all we want to do is help you.”

He refused to meet your eyes and stared off to the side instead, “I just… I just don’t want to see anyone right now, that's all.”

You hummed as you stared at him for a second before you spun on your heel and headed into the kitchen. A scowl set in when you saw the amount of trash scattered around his place, it consisted mainly of junk food wrappers and plastic bottles.

“H-hey, I said I don’t want people around so-"

“I don’t care what you want at the moment, Travis, I’m here to make you somewhat decent again.”

You set the bags on his table as Travis shuffled along behind you.

“First things first, you need to shower,” you peered over your shoulder as his cheeks flushed in shame, “and for the love of God, shave whatever the hell you call that.”

My God, this poor guy can’t grow facial hair to save his life.

Travis opened his mouth and you tensed up, you already planned for an argument. This plan faltered when his jaw clicked shut and made his way to the bathroom without another word. You stared after him as he retreated, he was never the type to be ordered around without a fight. You shrugged your shoulders as you tried to figure out what you should do first, cleaning or cooking.

You pursed your lips as you swept your hair up, hurriedly twisting it into a messy bun. It looked like a teenage boys bedroom in here.

--

You were in the middle of cutting up the peppers for the omelets when you heard the shower finally shut off. You had managed to clean up all the trash and even swept before you started to prepare his dinner. You could hear his footsteps padding down the hallway and into the kitchen. You paused when you felt his arms wrap around you, stomping down the flutter that appeared in your heart before you carried on. You came from a family of huggers after all and Travis had been the first person to take advantage of the endless cuddles that you offered.

He leaned in his forehead against the back of yours, blowing out a loud exhale that ruffled your hair.

“You didn't have to come over, (Y/N), I would’ve been fine.”

You mulled his words for a moment, grabbing the green onions so you could start chopping them up.

“Why didn’t you answer when Nolan came over? You know he was just worried about you.”

“He would've just tried to get me to go out. I didn’t want... I don’t…” you felt him start to shake against you and turned around. Your arms naturally slid under his and you pulled him closer.

“Shh, honey, it's okay, just let it out.”

You gently rubbed your hand in a circle on his back, the two of you assuming the same position that you had after all of his breakups. It was sort of comical really, the sight of you attempting to cradle a fully grown hockey player.  The shaking stopped after a few minutes and he pulled back slightly, sniffling as he looked at you. You hummed quietly while you reached up to wipe the tears off his cheeks. Your eyebrows furrowed when his hand caught your wrist.

Why's he messing with the routine?

“You're always there for me, (Y/N), always the first to comfort me…” he eyes locked with yours and felt trapped in them.

Your heart skipped a beat when he leaned forward and your lips met in a slow, chaste kiss. You had waited so long for this and couldn't hold back a moan. He pulled back for a second before his lips crashed down on yours again, more demanding and insistent now. His hand dropped down and hooked your leg over his hip while he pushed you back against the counter. You gasped and whimpered when he ground his clothed bulge against your pussy, your pants barely dulling the sensation. Your mind had blanked for a moment and you revelled in the feeling of his body against yours. Reality hit you like a brick though and you pulled away, pressing your hands against his chest.

“T-Travis, no, we can't-"

“Please.”

One word was enough to make you freeze and as he stared desperately into your eyes, you had an epiphany.

I'm just a body to him now.

He didn’t see you, didn’t realize that body he was touching was that of a long time friend. All cared about was contact with someone, anyone. It could have been a homeless woman standing in his kitchen and he would still fuck her. He wasn’t begging you, he was begging the idea of feeling whole again. You summoned what little courage you had and opened your mouth only to be silenced.

“Please, (Y/N), I need this.”

The plea left his lips and took the last if your dignity with it.

“Whatever you need, Travis, I’m here “

--

You stared at the ceiling of Travis's bedroom while he slept soundly beside you. You could feel the bruises starting to appear, the soreness in your hips a testament to Travis's less than gentle treatment of you. Your mind spun when you turned your head to look at the man whose bed you were sharing.

It didn’t mean anything to him.

You choked back a sob and turned away. The clock beside his bed showed that it was three in the morning, far too late when you had to work the next day. His arm was heavy on your stomach and his breath tickled your neck. You made up your mind and moved his arm off of you slowly, lest you wake him up and begin the awkward interaction that you were trying to avoid. You knew he wouldn't want you here in the morning, he always said that it irritated him when girls would linger.

You slipped out of his bed but froze when he grumbled in his sleep. You hadn't realized that you had stopped breathing until he simply rolled over to the other side of the bed. You sucked in a deep breath and moved around the room to gather your clothes. Your hips voiced their displeasure in the form of a dull ache when you pulled on your clothes. You let out a quiet grunt when you bent down to grab your shoes. You tiptoed to the front door as quietly as you could only to wince when it creaked as it opened. You risked a last glance back as you stepped out.

We'll get past this, it's okay.

--

You stared at your phone as it vibrated itself across your coffee table. It had been two days since that night and frankly, you didn't want to face Travis or his comments.

Suck it up, (L/N), what's the worst he can say? That you suck in bed?

You rallied your last bit of courage and grabbed your phone, not even reading the notification before you tapped on it.

Greg1234 liked your photo!

You stared at your phone while your mind struggled to remember just who the hell Greg was. You emitted a loud groan while you flopped backwards.

"I really need to make my insta private, " you muttered and tossed your phone to the other end of the couch.

--

You were in bed when your phone buzzed. You slammed your hand down on the poor thing and you dragged it towards you. You flipped your covers off of you, you hadn't slept well the few nights anyhow. You chewed on your bottom lip as you tapped the snap notification. A resigned sigh slipped out when you realized that it was just Jessica. It was a typical snap for her, a short video of a dimly lit club with her yelling that you should be there.

You blinked hard and swallowed the lump in your throat as you laid back down. You pulled your covers over your head while you tried to reassure yourself.

He's just taking his time to get in touch, everything's okay.

--

You stared at the television but didn't see or hear any of the events taking place on the screen. Jessica had forced her way in, already mid-rant about how you were becoming a hermit and that was unacceptable because she was Too Cool to have a friend like that. You could feel her stare as it burned into the side of your face but you made no effort to acknowledge it.

It had been over a week since that night, ten days, two hundred and forty hours and he still hadn't attempted to contact you. You didn't notice the awkward way that your hands fidgeted or the way your face crumpled when you thought about it but Jessica did.

"What's going on?"

"H-huh, sorry, what was that?"

She narrowed her eyes at you, her usual scowl already in place.

"I said, what is going on with you?" She looked you over while she spoke, a grimace replacing the scowl when she saw the bags beneath your eyes and your desperately in need of a wash hair.

"I-it's nothing, really, just work stress, " your voice faded when your lower lip trembled.

Before you knew it the dam broke and heavy sobs matched the tears as they ran down your face. Jessica didn't say anything as she wrapped you in the hug that you didn't know you needed. Through countless sniffles and sobs, you recounted the events of that evening. You started from when Nolan texted you right up to when you snuck out of Travis's apartment.

"You said he hadn't talked to you since?"

A weak nod was all you could answer with. Jessica grumbled something under her breath before she held you out at arm's length.

"(Y/N), if he wanted to talk to you he would. I think… I think you need to let him go, he got what he wanted."

You stared at her as a dark flush clawed its way up your neck and across your face.

"How… how dare you! Travis and I have been friends for years and now you insinuating that I'm just some hookup?"

"I didn't mean it like-"

"Just go away, Jessica, please." You hated the whine in your voice, hated how pathetic you sounded.

She peered at you for a second before her shoulders dropped and she looked away. She moved around your living room, gathering the movies and snacks that she had brought over. She was already on her way out when she spoke to you again,

"You know I'm right, (Y/N) if he gave a damn about you he would've put you out of your misery by now."

"You can keep the wine, you look like you need it more than I do."

--

 It had been two weeks since that night and you hadn’t heard a damn thing. No calls, no texts, not even a snap. Needless to say, your nails were nonexistent at this point. You had driven away the one person who could comfort you and now you couldn't remember the last time you got through the day without blinking away tears. You had called in sick today since the shaking of your hands made it impossible for you to work.

You were laying in bed, trying to plan out your apology to Jessica, when your phone buzzed. You groaned, today wasn't a good day for the real world to bother you but you grabbed your phone anyway. Your heart rate sped up when you saw Travis's name and a relieved smile appeared as you tapped on the snapchat notification. The smile crumbled though, everything crumbled when you saw a picture of his kitchen counter and four little words on the screen.

It was a mistake.

[multimetaverse]

Doafp 1x10 Review

Two Party System was a nice end to a stellar season though one story line didn’t quite stick the landing. Let’s dig in!

All is well once more with Elena and Sasha and Jessica. Great to see them open up to each other and for Elena to put sisters before misters. We’re really starting to see Elena become a leader and I loved the ending line of ‘’diary we’re just getting started’’. I do hope if there’s a S2 that we start seeing more of a direct line between Elena’s middle school life and her eventually becoming president because as of now the flashforwards to her as president 25+ years later seem gimmicky 

Sabi are hetero goals again. It’s been a very nice surprise to see how much they’ve focused on some pretty adult topics with Gabi and Sam.  It’s hard for kids shows to pull off and I commend them for it; it reminds me of some of the focus we saw on Bex and Celia’s relationships and their pretty heavy issues in AM S1 and 2a. This was certainly the right time for them to put all of their cards on the table with Gabi realizing that Bobby is starting to see Sam as a father figure. I’m very curious to see where they go with Sabi in future seasons, if they’re renewed

Bobby’s story line took one step forward and two steps back tonight. Bobby reconciling with Liam and coming to grips with his sexuality in front of the mirror was a nice way to end his arc this season; it was also a retreat back into subtext from the more explicit ways they’ve touched on Bobby’s sexuality in eps 8 & 9. And the way Bobby’s conflict with Liam was wrapped up is noticeably different from how Elena’s conflicts with Sasha and Jessica and Gabi’s conflict with Sam. 

Bobby and Liam made up by not actually discussing anything which sadly reminds me of what happened with Tyrus on AM after costume day. So many people after that ep aired said that Tyrus couldn’t reconcile and get together unless they talked things out, but of course they never did and they reconciled like nothing had ever happened and then had an underwhelming ending that could have happened without all the poorly written angst and drama. Now I don’t think the Bobby and Liam conflict will end up being all that important in the long run if the show is renewed because I don’t think Liam is Bobby’s love interest and if the show gets renewed then the writers have plenty of time to learn from this mistake but it’s more the fact that they made this mistake. If a show can’t pay off a story line then they shouldn’t do it; the writers had no excuse. They never would have Gabi tell Sam that she was just stressed because of work and then have everything go back to normal after their breakup in ep 8 because that would have been absurd. Having Bobby and Liam get in a brawl is great drama but set up becomes meaningless without payoff. It’s not a great sign that the Doafp writers are already making mistakes that it took the AM writers until almost the end of that show to make

I had flagged Cami explicitly stating the reason why Bobby fought Liam in my ep 9 review as potential set up for them not having Bobby tell Liam about his feelings which isn’t so surprising as we’ve literally never had a boy confess his feelings to another boy on a Disney show before. Since S2 if it happens will open on the start of the next school year it’s very unlikely that they’ll ever touch on the fight again which is for the best if Bobby is going to end up with someone else; just like how on AM it was for the best that Cyrus never told Jonah about his old crush on him.  Again I really hope that the writers make a plan for how to give Bobby the best possible plot in the face of Disney censorship. The best case scenario for the show is that they get 3-4 seasons total which would mean they have 20-30 odd eps to explore whatever it is they want to explore with all the characters. They just won’t have the time to drag things out like they did on AM, the 23 ep gap between Cyrus coming out to Andi and coming out to Jonah is likely more eps then Doafp has left for example. On Andi Mack the rule was that there couldn’t be anymore than 2 coming outs per season but their seasons were also 20+ eps so who knows if the Doafp writers can swing that in 10 ep seasons. All coming outs also had to be one on one coming outs but if they let Bobby come out to his family all at once then that would probably make things easier for the writers

Brandon Severs Jr really needs to stop with the Cartero hyping. It’s great that he ships cartero but there’s no evidence that he’s been told to act like Liam likes Bobby back in sharp contrast to how it was clear from the start that TJ liked Cyrus back because Luke had been told that TJ was gay. At least Josh and Luke and Terri and the other cast and crew who hyped up Tyrus to varying degrees were actually hyping up a ship that did end up canoning; what got them in trouble was hyping up the ship too much without knowing until the end whether it was actually going to be allowed to canon and lying about Disney censorship. What’s Brandon going to do when they eventually introduce a love interest for Bobby?

I like the development of the classmates like Claude and Ryan and Belinda and Joey and the Brits. They feel like real people in a way that background class mates rarely do on TV shows. It will serve the show well if they get renewed

The show has had great continuity so far, like with Ryan telling Elena that his mom and Claude’s mom are friends which is something Claude had mentioned earlier in the season. But I didn’t like that they blew up the timeline so that not only is spring break over in ep 9 but ep 10 which ends only a few days later is also the end of the school year. Timeline issues in and of themselves are not necessarily serious but they’re usually a warning sign that things are going wrong in the writers room. The GMW timeline never made much sense but it ended up becoming a total shitshow once that show got really bad and the AM timeline only started to get messy in 2b when the show’s writing started to get bad

Looking Ahead:

Doafp has really turned out to be a delightful surprise and I can only hope that it gets renewed though with the corona virus sweeping the world any announcement and any future production won’t be for a while most likely

With Sasha having a thing for Claude and Joey seemingly interested in Elena I think S2 will likely see a bigger focus on Elena and her friends and boys. It would be nice to see Joey’s bar mitzvah in S2 though I doubt they can top Cyrus’ bash mitzvah

I hope they introduce a love interest for Bobby in High School and that the censorship isn’t too bad but we shall see

If the show is cancelled and this ends up being the final review then thanks for reading and if we get more seasons I’ll see you back here one day

[moonswithorwithoutstars]

Baby gay’s prince

Lucas’pov:

Ralph was really down this time. It wasn’t just some hot boy that let him down after a good fuck, this time it wasn’t even the old story of falling in love (understand meet him 2 hours before and stalk him non – stop since that) with a straight dude that he just couldn’t make gay. No, this was Elijah. The cute, dorky, peaceful boy who had matching onesies with Ralph and was considered a part of the family by everyone in the flat, even by Liv and Noah who recognized themselves as the mum and dad now, because apparently that was also a stage in relationship, right between running after one another while wearing wedding dress and adopting 25 dogs.

Little did we all know what a sly bitch Elijah was. Or not really, we actually don’t know what happened which makes it even more obvious that Ralph was in pain, because normally, this time after breakup, he would be already browsing grindr and shading the ex-boy with Liv. This time was different. Surely, the grindr phase came but only 3 weeks after and Ralph was going through it alone. Not only that but he was also going through it without any sign of stopping – he went out, got drunk, fucked someone, that someone called one of us to come pick him up and then he broke down on the way home. He slept until lunch hours and started getting ready for going out again. For now we just did what we could, we made him coffee and I was saved as his emergency contact because Jayden said that gays should hold together the strongest, obviously believing that his formidable sense of humour would just make situation easier.

3rd person pov:

That’s why the closeted baby gay was taking metro to some dude’s house where Ralph crashed tonight. This concrete guy sounded rather worried about Ralph’s well-being which made Lucas breathe out with ease until he heard some crying in the background. The caller’s only reaction was telling him to hurry and hunging up.

Lucas was out of the apartment in the instant because as he rediscovered tonight, fear is the best motor. And as he was ringing the bell to what seemed as another shared apartment or dormitory possibly, he was already contemplating all the scenarios of what could have happened to Ralph, and the fact that whoever called him took his time opening the door made him even more worried. The door finally revealed a boy with dark hair who wasn’t covered in blood, didn’t look violently and wasn’t holding a knife, that didn’t mean that Lucas trusted him.

“Hey, you the emergency contact?” Dark boy asked with Belgian accent and a bit of discomfort in his voice.

“What? Yeah, yeah, is Ralph okay? I heard him crying, I thought that you were someone violent. Where is he? Did he hurt himself or broke something?” other boy half confirmed and half investigated the Belgian.

“No, well not really, I mean he didn’t seem physically hurt. I put them to sleep kinda?” Lucas let out the breath he was holding, relaxed a bit only until realization hit him hard. Did he really said them? Who did he put to sleep with Ralph? Was it possibly Elijah? Was he someone who put drugs into other people’s drinks and then put them to sleep?

Dark, tall and mysterious must have noticed this because he made a quick work of getting Luc relaxed again. “Hey don’t worry. You better see it yourself but well your drunk broken hearted friend met mine best friend who was in the very same condition, they cried together, showed each other photos of their love interests and then fell asleep hugging each other.” Small chuckle escaped his lips as he was elaborating this heart-warming story and Lucas couldn’t help but smile a little as well, maybe this is what Ralph needed after all. Besides this, Begium here had cute little smile.

The fact that he needed those dumb nicknames reminded him that he still needed to know this guy’s name. Without much thought, probably because he was really tired after all the stuff with Ralph, Luc bluntly asked: “So, guy who put up random boys, could you put one more, at least until Ralph gets up and needs familiar shoulder to cry on?”

Said guy emitted that sweet chuckle again. “It’s Jens and I’m not technically putting them up since it’s not my flat. More suitable title is babysitting. Hopefully those two will remember each other, because I ship that bromance.”

Luc just smiled and nodded his head. “I’m Lucas and I personally believe that a gay man that Ralph wouldn’t fuck but only be friend with wouldn’t be nothing else than healthy.”

This made Jens do a face as if calculating which quickly turned into a smirk. “Is it so? I believe that you’re also a gay boy he knows, at least according to your contact name Mr. Baby Gay. Yet I believe that ex-lover wouldn’t show up at weird night hours in strange places just to make sure that the other one is alive.”

Suddenly Lucas felt rather vulnerable. He was in a house he has never been before and a person he never met before read and knew him better than most of his friends these months. The fact that it wasn’t meant as an insult or an act of mockery going completely unnoticed, as the same probably unreasonable fear occurred again. The other one couldn’t be homophobe could he? He said that he had a gay friend, and he saw two guys cuddling. Luc somehow lost the track of his thoughts and was only put back into reality when Jens softly spoke: “Hey, I don’t know shit. It might be only an inside joke between the two of you, you might not be gay. Even if you were I wouldn’t care, do you think I would? I’ve got gay friends, I was nice to your friend and I’m bisexual myself so chill.”

Luc sighed with relief and gratitude: “I didn’t mean to be judgmental, I just dunno, I’m not chill with the whole me being the baby gay,” he made a sign with his fingers and rolled his eyes slightly amused, “yet. And not many people, well no one aside from Ralph and now you really knows.”

He was met only with a nod as if sign of understanding and cheeky: “S okay, your secret is safe with me. Wanna come in now, or should I prove that I’m trustworthy any other way?”

“No, no! Well yes I’d like to come in, if that’s okay with you again, but you’re trustworthy enough”

“Let me lead the way then. Kitchen it is? Do you want any beer or soda or ehh practically I can can’t offer you anything else because there’s actually nothing else in this flat.”

Lucas slightly at loss of words as every time he entered a building he has never been before needed some time to become eloquent. His eyes lingered on all the spots in the messy functional kitchen until he spotted his companion.

“Oh, I’d fancy a beer if it doesn’t cause you any trouble. I wouldn’t want to be charged for steeling beer cans from random flats, regarding you mentioning that this was not where you lived.” The statement was only meant as a joke but the tone seemed to change it into yet another accusation.

“Come on, you’ve never stolen beers? What a loser.”

“M not a loser, I just happen to always have people to do the dirty work for me.” Lucas snarky commented and performed a grimace, someone like a mafia boss would use in his opinion.

“Whatever you say boss.” Jens responded with a small bow added. He picked up two cans of beer and set them on the table while simultaneously inviting Lucas to sit down. The chairs in in the kitchen were mismatched, just underlining the overall messy look it was serving. Luc would bet anything that two or more boys shared this condo as a cheap alternative for living. Jens wasn’t one of them so probably the only guy he hasn’t met was the owner? Did he live here with his boyfriend before something similar to Ralph’s story happened to him? Maybe he lives here alone and just likes to be messy and has no problem letting whoever spend the night here. While examining the dark room, his eyes wondered to other parts of the flat as well. He could see armchair or a small sofa possibly in the room without door, on the other side, next to the kitchen, there was another room illuminated by soft light of a bedside lamp. That was probably bedroom which meant that Ralph was located there, sleeping peacefully. As he started returning his attention to the bear in front of him, Belgian guy caught his eyes and smilingly stated; “They’re in there. They were just like little kids, like my little brother I swear. They needed something to hug and wouldn’t let me turn off the lights because of monsters under the bed or something. I’m surprised they didn’t make me read a bedtime story to them. Especially Robbe, he always tends to do that. He can be really persuasive too. He chooses the most sappy tales and makes me change it so that the beautiful princess is actually another prince, they of course must live happily ever after.” There was a quick pause where Jens just stared lovingly somewhere ahead of him, remembering all the little memories of drunk Robbe that made his heart warm. Lucas knew this small gestures very well on his own. The longing in Jens’ gaze was probably more evident than the one in his eyes. Jens had one big advance however, his best friend was at least oriented the right way. Not exactly the right way, there’s no right or wrong way but for this situation, Robbe was definitely oriented the more suitable way. He wished him luck, he really did. Something about Jayden’s words must have been true right? The gay guys had to stick together, more so the gay guys with an overwhelming crush on their best friend. It was only fair to offer Jens at least a sympathetic smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. Upon that skin contact, Jens snapped back and continue as if there was no interruption at all, “Do you maybe want to check them yourself? Just so that you’ll feel more at ease.” He asked Luc, already standing as if he knew the answer far before he even asked. Luc followed him to the alighted room and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. There he was really – Ralph in all his bleached beauty hugging small brown haired boy as if he was a plush toy. A radiating smile creeped his way on Luc’s face and as he turned to watch Jens’ reaction for a bit, he saw the very same expression. He quickly caught a bit of jealousy trying to find her way. If his Kes would prioritize some random dude over Luc in cuddling, he’d be bitter at least for a day or so, Jens didn’t act that way at all. It’s probably because Luc has been going through this for a long time, through this roller coaster or whatever. He didn’t know what he felt anymore and the smallest turbulences caused him to burst. He didn’t want to think of Kes for tonight tho. He saw that the dark boy had new girl with him today in the skatepark, he even introduced the two of them and Luc was still a bit pissed because of that, more than a bit probably. He had to concentrate on the good things, the small battles won were all that mattered right now. He turned to head back to the kitchen, Jens following him shortly.

There’s been an intimidating silence ever since they visited the bedroom. Luc was never one to evaluate situation correctly so after he felt awkward for long enough, and beer in his can had gone, he asked out of the blue: “Will you try to woo him? Not tomorrow I mean, but he’s gay and he’s also single right now and you’re the person he probably trust the most. I ship this bromance with slipping b.”

Jens just looked at him with an expressionless face. Then there were too many expressions at once but still no words and then, finally Jens started to talk. He told him everything: Told him about Britt, which she thought he loved but didn’t even know what love felt like at that time. Told him about the brown haired angel as he called Robbe. About his ex boy Snader who made him come out and sprayed a portrait of his face, but also the same boy that was playing with Robbe’s and Britt’s heart at the same time. He described how he found Robbe on the rail of a bridge, ready to end it all. He described how his heart hurt at the memory, how he’s been more broken by this than ever before. He then continued, less passionately and not with the same spark. He spoke about Jana, the other person he loved. He spoke about how he could never love Robbe the way he loved Jana and the other way around. He spoke of his fear of being someone like Sander, selfish enough to try and keep the both, only ending up hurting those precious creatures. Luc wasn’t sure if it was his place to give advices, no even if it was appropriate, nevertheless he murmured: “You have to wait, give yourself time and be able to love only one but with your whole heart.”

After that Jens cried a little and then he was mad at himself. He listed all the ways those two were perfect and Luc couldn’t help but add his little own list he made for Kes to this night of sorrows. That’s how Luc started to speak as well. He talked about how he destroyed Kes and Isa, how he despised her but she was kind enough to forgive him, how Kes was oblivious enough not to notice, how Jayden was homophobic enough to make coming out for Lucas a rather painful possibility. There wasn’t much he could tell but Jens seemed to understand, not only that but this time, it was the dark boy that squeezed Lucas shoulder, as if expressing unity. The morningish the hour was, the less they spoke and the more they cried in a hug very similar to that one of Ralph and Robbe. Then they probably fell asleep.

For the first time in weeks, Luc woke up to Ralph’s smiling face. He got up from the floor where he had apparently spent the night and hug the fuck out of his best friend in a way. He could see that something very similar yet s different was happening on the other side of the room, between two Belgian boys and he smiled softly. There was something like a deep bond between him and Jens, sure they were not the same and Luc prouded himself in not believing in any bonds, astrology, zodiacs and shit, there must have been something. He’ll probably never meet those two again, but he’ll remember them clearly, and how their own story might have helped his. After this affectionate morning, they said theirs goodbyes. Ralph insisted on staying in contact with Robbe so they could brag about boys every now and then, but that was it. They left, with so much less emotional baggage than they brought and with a good feeling. Sometimes alcohol can solve problems after all, Luc thought.

Epilogue:

It was something about half a year after the whole Ralph crash. Things were pretty easy again. Ralph didn’t find another Elijah but keep telling all the people that for the sex function of boyfriend, he has girndr and for the romantic function, he has Luc. Luc didn’t mind this much, he came into a peace with himself, or so he thought. He still hadn’t tell anyone but he made a huge progress. He even went out with a few guys and overally he was just fine. Occasional pangs of jealousy would form in his heart, wherever he saw Kes’ new discovery in the form of girlfriend, but thanks to Kes’ somehow reasonable taste in woman, he always found himself glad,that Kes was with someone like that in the end of the day. He was currently seated in a skatepark, side by side with Kes, waiting for that dickhead- and their hamburgers. Kes was in the middle of explaining something about the new trick he learned and Luc was in the middle of ignoring the matter of conversation and tapping his foot impatiently because he was hungry when his phone rang. He was 99,2% sure that it was just Ralph who forgot her keys, but the caller ID proved him wrong. It was a number he has probably never seen before, most likely some phone survey or something but he was polite enough to at least pick it up.

Immediately the other side spoke in a Belgian accent: “Hey, is this Luc, the baby gay?”small chuckle could be heard and Luc couldn’t helped but to glance towards Kes because he remembered that night just clearly. Then he amusedly responded: “Yeah, and you’re the guy that reads bedtime stories to his 17 years old best mate.”

Something like a short laugh echoed through the device but then stopped as a warm voice announced: “Yeah, about that, not anymore, and I don’t go back and forth with Jana anymore as well.”

“Well, that’s just marvellous,” Lucas breathed out, “I made some progress myself.”

“Yeah,” Jens paused. “I think I’m ready to love only one but with my whole heart,” he admitted softly.

“And which one of them is the lucky one may I ask?”

“I believe it might be you baby gay.”