#the other thing being that I do not like to draw a background but also it never looks right to me when I just draw A Guy Standing There

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[moeblob]

Impulsively shoving a guy's hand in your mouth after having the thought "oh just like when my little sister used to prick herself on a rose thorn" and then immediately being treated like a pet who ate something they shouldn't have? Wonderful. Thank you, Thane.

(also not pictured is Thane apparently trying to scrape your tongue with his hand BEFORE pouring the holy water down your throat because NO. BAD.)

[mc-tummy-blur]

It probably gets lonely up there

Click for better quality

Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine

[thenamessparkplug]

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

[8thparadox]

for day two of @khazadweek - second age i did not care about rop. i was not planning on watching rop. but then i saw that there were dwarves and i had no other choice. to me disa and durin are the main characters. everything with galadriel and sauron and shit is just b-plot.

[yoonyia]

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

*clenching my teeth so hard they are cracking* only getting one artfight attack done is not a failure any progress is good progress i am taking baby steps and caring for my mental health by not pushing myself to do multiple attacks a day to make up for lost time i will not feel guilty about this

[chiropteracupola]

bertrand sweaterpaws

[dustylovelyrun]

Hey, I just had the oddest thought.

Not like an odd-odd sort of thought, but more along the veins of something that ‘hey, neato, a lot of people might actually do that’ but you, as a person, never quite do, and thus forget is a thing that can happen - 

But how many of y’all know what your ocs look like?

Just in general, or vague pieces?

I’m not sure if it’s just because it’s 6:18am and I’m not a morning person and have thus fallen into idle and very belated realizations as a direct result, but it’s starting to occur to me that when @ieppiq tagged me in a picrew thing in 2020 that it might’ve been because everyone else lowkey might know.

[thedevotionaltour]

i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.

[sodacowboy]

drawfee speed draw save me save me drawfee speed draw

[krysmcscience]

It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)

Yeesh, this took forever. <:)

There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D

(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)

anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao

Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:

I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL

Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:

The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.

They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:

In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:

Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:

Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)

Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:

And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D

what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)

And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:

It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.

Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD

Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.

Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…

Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D

They’re also 100% a sub, obviously

Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic

The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO

Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:

Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:

Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)

Last but not least, have these shittens:

~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.

The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ

Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES

First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.

I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.

All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).

(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)

Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔

Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.

He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)

I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.

So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.

Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…

Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)

They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.

(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)

But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.

He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.

Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.

The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c

And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯

oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it

Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)

[medusaesque]

Kim's itchy trigger finger

So, Kim reaches for his gun often. Very often. sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons- opening the bear fridge, the experiment in the church, a note from Klaasje.

This one is just from being anxious going into the communist reading group. Kim doesn't want to be the kind of cop who draws his gun constantly, who shoots instinctively, but he is, or at the very least it's very difficult for him to stop himself from becoming one.

Perhaps the most horrifying example is with The Pigs-

Even if he KNOWS the gun isn't loaded, even if he knows it's safe, the instinctual muscle twitch could have ended in an unnecessary death. Kim is very well aware of that fact, and it's horrifying to him. @shufflerock-jam has this really good post about it, where they wonder how many of Kim's kills were unnecessary. "Something about a pair of traumatized cops, one fighting against shooting himself and one fighting against shooting everyone else".

At the end of The Pigs exchange, if Harry says she tried to kill him, Kim begins to interject, but stops himself and agree this situation could've been very bad. Then Empathy chimes in- 'He's trying not to think about how bad it could have been had the gun been loaded.' Which is the heart of the issue, right? that leads us to Eyes-

This is such a fascinating background to give Kim as a character- not just losing his partner, which gives him the trauma and survivor's guilt that lead to this unhealthy relationship with his gun and frankly with death in general, but losing his Eyes, and having that not interfere with his shooting. Kim doesn't need to see well to hit, he doesn't need to think. It's all in his hands, a reflex. A reflex that nearly took an innocent life. That might have taken one before.

His awareness of looming danger, to him and to his partner, is fueling his version of Hand/Eye Coordination to have him constantly on edge, his whole body is like a loaded spring, always prepared to make sure it doesn't happen again. Then it does-

In his nightmare scenario, leaning over his partner's bleeding body, Kim only needs one word to shoot without a second's hesitation. He's never not ready to take that shot. He doesn't need his Eyes.

Harry is distraught to discover he's killed before- his body remembers it. He wants a drink to soften the feeling. Kim however is impressed with how little he's killed- especially coming from the bloody murder unit. He wants to be 'one of the good ones' (Kim's adamant belief in the possibility of a Good Cop is a whole other can of worms) the kind of cop he would think highly of. Kim is disgusted by cops who kill like it's a game. Espirit gives us a vision of a cop exactly like that, who kills so often it doesn't feel like anything anymore. In a way that is completely mechanical- no thought, no feelings, just a thing your body does. Not unlike the way Kim shoots- like a spring unloaded. Kim has 6 confirmed kills before the tribunal, double the amount Harry has. He doesn't react the same way though-

It's doesn't bother Kim that he has killed, even if he declines to elaborate on it, and he seems to frown upon (or worry about) Harry's destructive coping mechanism. If they're unable to save Ruby, he says "Control your emotions. We did our job. This won't be the worst thing that happens on this case… believe me. You can't let this break you." When you wake up after the tribunal, he doesn't dwell on the lost lives on either side. Harry's skills call him a killer, a bloodstained killer, but when he tells Kim he also killed he simply nods. He's smoking though. I'm not saying that Kim is heartless or careless, he's rattled by nearly blowing The Pigs' head off, very sorry for the lives lost during the case, and clearly hunted by death, having been surrounded by it for his entire life. But I do think death is a part of the job for him- not just possible civilian causalities, but his own potential death. He speaks plainly about how he might die in the lie of duty, and he narrowly avoided it more than once, with others dying in his place..

He walked into the line of fire with harry expecting for of them to die, and his quick fingers on the trigger made it so they lived another day. Even if more ghost joined the list that hunts him in his sleep, he is alive. He goes on. He can't afford to fix this habit, as much as he wants to.

So it's so horrible and so touching that when Dros asks "What have you done?" Kim says-

It's a tragedy, really. A wartime orphan who wanted to be a revolutionary pilot and played with Franconigerian knights, who grew up to be a cop, a job that slowly shapes his body into a killing machine. And when you ask what he does, what you both do, he says keep people alive.

[les4elliewilliams]

can you pls write ellie talking reader through her first time having sex and just being really gentle? thank u!!

first time with loser!ellie ౨ৎ

✩ wc/cw: around 4k words ! tribbing bc😌, fingering + oral (r!receiving), corny pick up lines bc ellie's a nerd, happy trail and bushes<3 (i love body hair srry)...also shy reader??

!!mdni please!!

idk why but all i can think of is loser Ellie, so this is what you're gonna get. it sucks ass but it was fun to write so idc.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks.

She's such a huge women's lover, worshipping your body like it's the only and the best thing she has ever seen in her entire life, and she's so gentle with you that it makes you go insane. She'll take her time with you, and she'll say the most random shit ever during it because she's a nerd and she's awkward like that (but mostly to make you feel comfortable, especially if she can sense how nervous you are). No one can convince me otherwise.

You've been together for a few months, but she'd get nervous and pull back whenever things got too heated between you two. She would touch you, palming your titties as she explored your body, but when it came time to take things further, she'd blush furiously and freeze up at the slightest sound that escaped your swollen lips.

It made her pussy pathetically throb, and she felt almost ashamed for how her body reacted at your every touch; she didn't want to pressure you into doing anything, telling herself that if you ever were in the mood, you'd make the first move or would let her know in a way. However, considering how shy you tended to be around her, she knew you wouldn't likely make the first move. Your nerves always got the best of you in her presence; you were too nervous to actually initiate anything.

She knew she had to be the first to make a move, so she decided to test the waters one day. Her touch grew significantly bolder, her hand slipping underneath the hem of your shirt and directly touching the sensitive skin of your abdomen. She traced delicate patterns over your flesh, her fingers trailing across your body with practiced ease before reaching your boobs. Your limbs tangled together, your bodies pressing against each other as you passionately explored each other's mouths. The heat between you intensified, and you could feel her subtly grinding against you, almost to get a reaction out of you and see how far you'd let her go.

Her room was always charmingly chaotic and managed but still retained an element of disorder. Light blue walls were adorned with cute science-themed decorations while a TV softly played in the background. A lava lamp sat on her bedside table, an obsession of hers that added a soothing ambiance to the room.

Her hand gently groped your breast, her mouth leaving yours to trail a series of sweet kisses down your jawline and neck, leaving you breathless and panting, your core heating up with a growing desire. The sensations sent a fluttering wave of pleasure coursing through you, stirring up a whole menagerie inside your stomach, with pterodactyls flying freely and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It was both exhilarating and overwhelming, all at once.

"Ellie..." You spoke her name in a hushed tone; your voice was soft and silky like butter, gently drawing her attention and pulling her out of her intense focus. Her worry and guilt immediately surfaced; the last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable. Yet, to her surprise, instead of discomfort or unease, she saw a whole new side to you. Your cheeks were flushed, and your eyes held a passionate intensity that she had never seen before.

"Yeah?" She couldn't help but whisper, the close proximity creating an intimate atmosphere. Her green eyes roamed over your features, drinking in every detail as if it were the first time seeing you. A single auburn lock of hair fell to the side of her face, adding to her natural, effortless beauty. She was mesmerizing, yet she remained blissfully unaware of the profound effect she had on you.

You averted your gaze for a moment, your eyes drawn to her discarded, worn-out converses lying on the floor just a few feet away from the bed. They seemed the most captivating thing at that moment, distracting you from her curious but piercing gaze. She studied you intently, her intense green eyes seemingly trying to read your thoughts, and you couldn't help but feel even more vulnerable under her scrutiny.

Her voice carried a tone of concern as she questioned, "Did I go too far?" causing your heart to fill with a swelling sense of warmth. It was almost too good to be true that such a stunning and caring person like her could genuinely love you for who you were, embracing you with all your quirks and insecurities. It was a difficult concept to fully comprehend, and at times, you found yourself doubting her sincerity, unable to fathom why someone as amazing as her would choose to be with you.

"No, no, it's not that," you hesitated for a moment, your voice quiet and uncertain as you gathered your thoughts. There was a brief pause as you swallowed, trying to suppress the nerves that fluttered in your stomach. "I lied," you blurted out, your gaze hesitantly meeting hers.

Her eyebrows knit together, her confusion evident as she gave you a puzzled look. She pulled back a little, creating space between you as she sat down directly before you, her curiosity piqued. "'bout what?"

You let out a shaky breath, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you thought about the little white lie you had told her before the two of you started dating. Your fingers nervously fiddled with the laces of your shorts. "I actually never done it before," You mumbled, your voice barely audible as a hot flush crept onto your cheeks. The heat in your face spread down your neck and chest in a wave of embarrassment, leaving you feeling flustered and exposed under her gaze. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole at that moment.

Lying wasn't something you normally did, but when she confessed that she had been with two other girls before you, a rush of insecurity coursed through you. You felt inexperienced and vulnerable, embarrassed that, at your age, you were still a virgin. It wasn't that you hadn't had opportunities before, but rather that you were never comfortable enough with someone to take such a monumental step. However, with her, it felt different. You felt secure and at ease, and trust blossomed between you. You knew you could confide in her and she would give you precisely what you needed, fulfilling your every desire and need. That's what she was there for, after all.

Her eyebrows shot up, an expression of surprise flickering across her perfect features. A soft oh escaped her rosy lips, her head tilting slightly with confusion. Her brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all. "Wait, why did you lie about it?" she asked, her voice tinged with bewildered curiosity.

You gave her a slight shrug of your shoulders, "I dunno...I guess I just- I didn't want to seem- I don't know, it's embarrassing!" You burst out dramatically, your eyes darting everywhere but on your girlfriend, who was looking at you in awe.

Did she care? Not a damn bit. If you only knew how seethingly jealous she had been when you told her you had done it with your ex-girlfriend before. She was downright pissy for a whole week, and you had no idea why. Surprisingly, though, she never said a word about it. She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief knowing that no one had ever touched you that way—that she would be the one to claim you if you ever let her.

She let out a relieved huff, her words tumbling out without a second thought, drawing your entire focus. "Thank god," she muttered, a weight lifting off her chest.

"What?"

"Nothing, just- I'm glad I'm your first," She confessed, her voice tinged with a hint of bashfulness, eliciting an airy chuckle from you. "If you want me to be, that is," She added; she was a tangle of nerves, fearing that she might be pressuring you to move too quickly, pushing you into something you weren't ready for. Yet, if only she could see herself the way you saw her—the desire for her radiating from your every pore, plain as day and utterly undeniable, practically written all over your features for any blind person to see.

You nodded in agreement, a shy but confident look in your eyes. "Yeah, I think I'm ready," you whispered, your words filled with nerves and excited anticipation.

"We don't have to do anything if you're not ready," Her touch was like a delicate whisper, her thumb gliding tenderly across your cheek, leaving behind a trail of reassurance and comfort.

"No, I'm ready, I promise...and I trust you," Your timid voice's gentle timbre sent a rush of butterflies fluttering through her stomach, causing her insides to somersault recklessly. The fact that you trusted her to take the lead and guide you filled her with a special kind of flattery. Knowing that your trust in her was absolute was a unique form of validation.

Ellie gave you a brief nod in acknowledgment before closing the gap between you with a sly smirk. Her focus remained fixed on your lips as she inched closer, her eyes never straying from their destination. "We'll take it slow."

"I trust you," You repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, the words escaping your lips in a hushed tone. Your gaze locked onto hers, and in that moment, you swore you could see her eyes sparkle with unabashed excitement.

Her lips landed on yours again, kissing you gently yet with a hint of urgency. Her fingers skimmed across the bare skin of your stomach under your shirt, "Stop me if anything feels wrong," She murmured softly against your neck, trailing a trail of kisses down your neck. Your hum resonated in response, a gentle vibration of contentment and pleasure escaping you in a small, involuntary sound.

Her mouth worked its magic on your neck, painting it with a constellation of small, colorful marks. It was as though she were an artist, and your body her blank canvas, eagerly accepting everything she had to give to you. Her hands never left your breasts, gently squeezing and pinching your hardened nubs as she left feather-like kisses all over your torso, claiming you all for herself. Her knee pressed lightly against your throbbing, drenched core, coaxing a soft whimper from your lips.

A few moments later, both of your bodies were bared to each other's eager and hungry gazes. She trailed soft kisses down your body, her lips lingering as they approached the edge of your panties. She paused to take in the sight of the dark, damp spot blooming on the thin fabric of your pink underwear, her eyes lighting up with satisfaction. With deliberate slowness, she pressed a kiss just above the waistband, sending a shiver through you. Her hands gripped your thighs gently but firmly, the warmth of her touch contrasting with the cool air. She spread your legs wider, positioning them over her shoulders, her green, dark eyes locked onto yours, filled with a mix of hunger and playful intent.

Her face, poised between your thighs, radiated with beauty as she looked up at you with a mixture of desire and adoration.

What a picturesque sight, she looked even better between your thighs.

Her cheeks glowed with a rosy hue, contrasting beautifully with the smattered freckles across her face. Her eyes were wide and expressive, her pupils dilated almost as if she was under the effect of some extremely addictive drug.

"I sure am no astronaut, but I'd love to explore your universe," You couldn't help but chuckle softly at her words, the sound escaping you as she continued to pepper your inner thighs with feather-light kisses, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Her fingertips danced tantalizingly along the waistband of your panties.

"You didn't just say that," You couldn't help but giggle in disbelief.

"Oh, I did," her lips formed a small, self-satisfied grin. She loved how worked up you were getting despite you trying to hide it.

"Such a nerd."

"Hmmm...'m not," She protested softly with a slight pout on her face, slowly tugging at the hem of your panties, a silent plea for permission to continue.

You caught on to her intention almost instantly. "Take 'em off." Your command was direct.  

"You sure about this, babe?" She asked, her fingers traced along the contours of your hips. Her gaze was locked onto your face, her eyes searching yours intently for any sign of discomfort. But there wasn't any. You wanted her as much as she wanted you, and you weren't going to back down. Not now.

"Very," you reassured her.

Ellie's promise to take it slow lingers in the back of your mind. True to her word, she was taking it slow—agonizingly, deliciously slow. Her lips wandered over your inner thighs, teasing and tormenting everywhere but the one place where your need burned the most. Each kiss, each brush of her lips, was a deliberate torture, making you grow more impatient by the second, not that patience had ever been your strong suit.

Only after pleading and begging did she finally give you what you craved. The wait had left you aching for more, and the build-up only made you wetter, if that was even possible—nearly soaking the sheets of her bed.

Her breath hovered close to your wetness, coaxing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth instinctively. She gently explored your slickness with her fingers, collecting the essence of your arousal on her digits. Her smirk was a subtle hint of the satisfaction she felt, her expression one of quiet contentment as she admired the result of her touch. "Prettiest pussy I've ever fuckin' seen," she murmured under her breath, admiring your throbbing and aching core, which was begging for her touch.

You gasped sharply, your breath hitching as she touched you. Her touch was tentative and curious, trying to figure out what felt good for you and what didn't, observing your body language attentively.

Your hand instinctively found its way into her cinnamon locks, your fingers tangling in the soft strands as she feasted on you like a starved animal. She could feel the subtle twitch of your body and clit against her tongue; her movements were deliciously slow, each lick and suck intended to savor each drop of your essence and relish the taste of you.

She had been fantasizing about this moment for a while now, touching herself at the thought of it, at the thought of you writhing and squirming in her hands, moaning for her and giving her the prettiest sounds and expressions you had to offer. And it was just like in her little fantasy. You were so ethereal, so precious, so gorgeous. None of her ex's were even close to you, you were something else; tasting like you were the one for her.

"Feels so good, El," You couldn't help but let out a breathy moan; your hands found their way to her head, gently pushing her closer to your core. Her fingers tightened around the plush curves of your hips, digging into the soft flesh as she allowed you to guide her.

She moaned in response to your words, her middle finger gently teasing your entrance. Her green eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign to stop, but all she saw was your blissed-out expression. "Can I?" she asked, her voice breathless as she took a moment to fill her lungs with oxygen. You nodded vigorously, unable to form words, your need for her touch overwhelming.

She slowly slid her middle finger in, allowing your body to adjust to the sensation. "Does it hurt?" she asked, pushing it deeper in response to the slight shake of your head. Her eyes widened with amazement at how effortlessly her finger moved inside you, the slickness making it easy. You gasped, arching your back and bucking your hips against her in response, craving more of her touch. Sweet moans escaped your lips, sounds that once might have made her pause but now only fueled her desire. Your need for her was evident by every movement and ragged breath that came from you. The sound of your pleasure spurred her on, driving her to give you even more.

You were soaking her sheets, but she didn't mind one bit, too caught up in the moment. She hoped you wouldn't notice her subtly humping against the mattress, just as turned on as you were.

But you came first; she would make you feel good first. She could wait.

Her breaths grew heavier, mirroring your own, as she focused on your pleasure, her movements driven by both care and desire.

"No, it feels just perfect," you replied after a few seconds. You were a whimpering mess, and she loved it—she loved every second of it.

"You feel so good 'round my fingers...sucking me in like a black hole," She cooed softly, a coy smirk never leaving her face as she continued to finger-fuck you, adding another finger with a smooth motion. She was amazed at how well you took her, your body greedily sucking in her fingers. What a sight you were—she felt so fucking lucky. Every little twitch of your body was like a symphony to her senses, each movement driving her insane. Her auburn little bush glistened with her own arousal, dripping down her pussy and making a mess on her pastel blue sheets. Her eyes stayed fixed on your face, savoring every expression of pleasure you gave her, feeling the connection between you grow with every passing moment.

"You're so fuckin' weird," You struggled to speak, your words broken and punctuated by soft moans that threatened to escape from your lips.

"Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend?" She asked mockingly, her digits curling ever so slightly to reach that soft spot inside you. The movement coaxed a loud and filthy moan from your lips, echoing in the room mingled with the wet, rhythmic sounds of your slickness and her thrusts. A look of triumph flashed in her eyes, an expression you wished you could've ripped off her face.

"Oh my god!" your eyes squeezed shut as your head sank into the soft embrace of her pillow, her fingers hitting your g-spot over and over. Each sound that escaped you was a soft, needy whine. Your gummy walls squeezed her fingers so much that she could barely move them.

"Gonna cum, baby? I can barely move my fingers..." She observed your every movement, her eyes drinking in how your muscles tensed and tightened with each thrust; she could tell you were close. Her green orbs observed the subtle tells that gave away your imminent release—the arch of your back, the quiver of your thighs, your high-pitched moans. "You're doing so good, babe. Let it alll out," she encouraged you sweetly, her thumb rubbing your clit in a circular motion, slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you; she wanted you to enjoy every second of it, and she didn't wanna rush anything.

"Yes, yes! 'm so close, please," You pleaded, though you didn't need to. Ellie had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Her only focus was to make you feel good, to treat you as you deserved, and to pour her love and affection onto your body.

"Come for me, sweet girl. Can you do that for me?" She purred softly, her fingers continuing to tease and torment you, knowing it was a matter of seconds until you milked her fingers just like she wanted you to. You could only manage a frenetic nod in response, your words lost in a haze of pleasure. Your body arched towards her, your breath coming in short gasps. "Yeah?" she cooed. "Go ahead, beautiful. Let go for me." She guided you through the waves of orgasm, letting you ride her fingers until you came down off your high, your hips meeting her thrusts halfway with urgency.

Slowly, she withdrew her fingers from you, her lips enveloping each digit, sucking them clean. A low, guttural moan escapes her lips as she relishes the taste of you, finding it utterly intoxicating. You, an exquisite delicacy, have become her newfound obsession, a craving she knew would haunt her long from now on. Hopefully, you won't mind when she'll be begging on her knees to taste you once again. Begging you to let her make you feel good just so she could feel you twitch and throb on her tongue.

Her tattooed hand glided gently along your side, her lips bestowing soft kisses upon your thighs and mound, slowly trailing a path of affection upon your skin. She made her way to your lips, you could taste the remnants of your pleasure on her own as she kissed you lovingly.

She gently kissed your forehead, her hand still idly tracing patterns on your skin, shoving a few praises your way. "Did so well, for me," her tone was warm and caring. "So beautiful, so responsive." Her fingers lingered on your face, her touch almost reverent as she took in your flushed cheeks and disheveled appearance, looking even more beautiful to her eyes. "You taste so fuckin' good, I can't get enough of you."

A delightful darker hue staining your cheeks and giving you an almost otherworldly glow. Your eyes looked up at her, still glazed with ecstasy, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggled to catch your breath. "I love you."

She smirked, her eyes glinting with a playful sparkle as she straddled your lap, her body fitting perfectly between your spread-open thighs. Leaning closer to you, she spoke in a soft, sultry tone, "I love you more—Think you got one more for me?"

"Yeah, I can do one more,"

Those words were all she needed to proceed with her intentions. Her body hovered above yours, her movements controlled as she aligned her dripping cunt with your still-sensitive one. Your hands instinctively grasped her hips, guiding her to your desired rhythm. A low groan slipped past your lips as her hips started to roll and grind against yours, the sensation of her warmth and pulsating core pressing against yours causing you to arch your back and meet her movements with eager thrusts. You loved how her clit felt against yours, it was so pretty and puffy, and she was so fucking wet, so needy for you; it was adorable.

"Ooooh fuck!" You cried out, her head arched backward in response, a symphony of needy moans escaping her lips as she clung to the leg you had draped over her shoulder, using it to steady her movements. Your slickness mingled with hers, painting a glistening trail across your inner thighs. She loved feeling you; she loved how good it felt each time your clit kissed hers.

"You feel so fuckin' good, fuck," She murmured, her words punctuated by soft gasps as she continued to move against you. "Wanna feel you come all over my pussy" Her movements grew erratic, her hips moving more urgently against yours, the pace of her grinding becoming frantic and sloppy, using you to chase her orgasm. A constant stream of needy sounds fell from her plush lips nonstop; soft strands of her hair fell loose from her messy bun, framing her freckled and scrunched-up face. Ellie seemed so focused on her movements, trying to keep them steady and controlled but failing pathetically, growing needier and needier each second. Her expression was one of intense focus and desire, her eyes locked onto your face as she rode you with determination.

"Ellie, fuck," you groaned. "Slow down, 'm not gonna last," You gasped out a warning, your nails digging into her pale skin as your body began to tense up once again. The soft curls of her pubic mound soaked with both of your cum, your eyes silently admiring her cute happy trail, tracing it with your thumb.

"Me neither," her voice ragged and breathless as she increased her pace, grinding against you more forcefully and urgently. Her hips began to rotate, moving in a desperate, frantic motion as she sought to bring you both to your climax. Her free hand reached down to intertwine with yours, squeezing your hand tightly. "Eyes on me, pretty," She managed to utter, the words broken by cute little moans, her speech barely comprehensible. Your gaze slowly roamed up her body, taking in the sight of her toned abs and her pretty happy trail. You traced your eyes upward, taking in the sight of her perky breasts before finally meeting her face and locking eyes with her.

"You're so hot," You cried out in ecstasy, the words leaving your lips before you could stop it. She snorted in response, her eyes hazy and lidded as she looked down at you. Her mouth twitched into a lazy smile, revealing her pearly white teeth before she spoke.

"Have you met you?" Her voice was ragged and raw, the following sound escaping her lips like a gasp. She was flushed and breathless, her cheeks stained a deep scarlet hue, like tomatoes in the height of summer. But suddenly, her smile faded, replaced by a look of concentration as her brows furrowed together. "'m gonna-" but you cut her off.

"Me too," You whined as your other hand reached up to play with one of her breasts, your fingers teasing her nipple. The sensation elicited a louder moan from her, a melodic cry of your name that echoed through the room, her body arching into your touch.

You both came together, your cores clenching around nothing and twitching against each other in a mutual climax. The auburnette's movements slowed gradually until she finally collapsed by your side, her eyes wide and cheeks still flushed. She was completely out of breath, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling. For a moment, neither of you spoke, both of you still reeling from the intensity of what had just happened.  

"Mind-blowing," Your words pulled her out of her trance, making her roll onto her side to face you. She propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes roaming over your flushed and breathless face as she spoke.

"Mind-blowing, hm?" she teased, a sly grin spreading across her lips as she leaned closer to you. Sliding her tattooed arm around your waist, she pulled you closer to her until your bodies were pressed together. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, her lips lingering against your hair as she spoke. "You did so good, baby,"

"Did I?" She nodded in response to your question, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. Her hand brushed gently against your face, her fingers gliding softly through your hair as she swept loose strands away from your face. You couldn't help but stare at her, taking in her soft features and tender expression, feeling a pang of awe and admiration in your chest.

She gently caressed your face, the touch of her fingers like a subtle whisper against your skin. "You sure did," she murmured, her voice soft and affectionate as she kissed the tip of your nose. "You are one beautiful celestial body," she added cheekily, her tone laced with sarcasm. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at her, unable to keep the affectionate grin off your face.

"That's so dumb," She laughed along with you, her arms wrapping around you tightly as she held onto you like a koala clinging to a tree. She cuddled and snuggled against you, her body molding against yours as you settled into a comfortable embrace. As you gradually drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but notice a stupid smile spreading across her face.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. (takes a second, fuckers)

[kyahcomic]