#the passage of time wigs me out

[mercurialvixen]

So I've spent the last near decade after my mom died just trying to cease to exist. My only friend is my dog and she is elderly and on her way out. I'm not particularly okay. Trying a momentum thing where I had the revelation, 'what if I just don't lay down and die'. Maybe this will help, maybe not.

[dhampir-dyke]

.

[bloomingdarkgarden]

Rereading ACOSF. This was a tough book for me to get through initially and the same holds for round 2. But there are some passages i feel like i completely missed the first time that now have me dead.

Cassian normally looked forward to Winter Solstice for a host of reasons, starting with the usual three days of drinking with his family and ending with the riotous fun of his annual snowball fight with his brothers.

Followed by a steam in the birchin and more drinking, usually until all three of them passed out in variously stupid positions.

One year, he’d awoken wearing a blond wig and nothing but an evergreen garland around his groin like a loincloth.

UHM i literally spit out my coffee.

i need... i need...

fanart.

that is all.

[nightwingsaregoths]

there are three year olds that were born in the pandemic and that wigs me out. I feel old. surely 2020 was a few months ago. come on, not that passage of time.

[missyourflight]

we're doing this again! here are some of the things i read/watched in feb:

dopesick: not sure how i feel about the mix of real/created characters! a lot of the sackler stuff i was familiar with from empire of pain (more on patrick radden keefe later) (relatedly i'm so eager for the nan goldin doc to be streaming over here), some great performances, also doesn't disney have money for better wigs?

happy valley (s3): as a nation we don't deserve sarah lancashire. magnificent television!! good thing f1 is coming back so i can continue to experience tension on sundays etc

lovecraft country: i got myself into a whole jonathan majors situation just in time for creed iii and this was Wild. i wasn't always in love with it but it took some massive swings and honestly reminded me a tiny bit of doctor who just in like the genre-of-the-week approach. also wunmi mosaku, my beloved

justified (s3): as ever this should just be the boyd/raylan show. jfc but raylan is bad at his job. i'm torn re: the progressively more deranged gay antagonist bc he was kind of fun but also whew @ some of those backstory elements

full swing: golf to survive! i didn't know any of these men apart from rory mcilroy! bit of a mixed bag but i loved joel dahmen and his caddy and also matt fitzpatrick, tiny stats nerd from sheffield. lol forever @ zak and lando's golf friend defecting to the sketchy saudi tour etc, like fucking obviously

the green ray: woof a bit close to home! aching for connection, crying on holiday... rohmer girl summer forever in my heart

scream 4: just fine until it goes gleefully Bonkers in the last act

scream 5: last act not as much fun as scream 4, jack quaid is charming, weirdly i found some of the stabbings like off-puttingly intense?

great freedom: this was wonderful and i cried. almost shockingly tender at times and just like, we have always been here? franz rogowski is remarkable and i can't wait to see him in passages (ben whishaw basically doing the andrew scott role from cock 14 years on?? i mean)

devotion: see above re: ongoing jonathan majors situation, thought he was beautiful in this, loved the partnership w glen powell. there's a part that's like you think is going to play out like top gun maverick and then it doesn't because it's based on a true story (why is joe jonas here)

magic mike's last dance: obviously doesn't approach the heights of xxl but channing is still so fucking charming (why is she's the man not streaming anywhere here. i need it). i saw it with some friends and one of them was sad afterwards bc her husband never dances with her - not to be like are straight people okay, but are you?

creed: i am not well versed in the rockyverse lore but i Need to see creed iii due to the jonathan majors situation and i really liked this! mbj charming, i do not care for boxing as a sport but ryan coogler can really move a camera, also pleasantly surprised by the liverpool of it all??

creed ii: this was fine! the fighting didn't have anywhere near the impact of the first one bc this director is not as talented as ryan coogler

patrick radden keefe, rogues: really enjoying this collection of some of his new yorker profiles. listening on audio and i feel like it's kind of rare for a non-fiction author to read their own work this well? also this month i listened to his wind of change podcast (was not prepared for the tommy vietor cameo lol) which was a lot of fun but took a lot of time to not really answer the question

[farewell-persephone]

2, 21, 37, 48 😎

2. One of the most meaningful things someone has said to you?

tried to think of something more specific but just keep coming back to the fact that every time I see my friend Zach he tells me he loves me before we part ways. helps with the feeling that I'm a burden or an embarrassment that I always experience when I'm around anyone, especially this last time given everything that happened.

21. Share a song or two that you find calming?

this is harder than I thought it would be because "calming" kind of implies "neutral" to me and I just don't listen to music that makes me feel neutral. this is probably the closest I can think of. Japanese train nu-jazz

37. A show/game/book someone could consume to know you better?

show: maybe Dark idk

game: Fallout New Vegas

book: Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer

48. Ah, 48. This question is very important

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart displayed scatological humour in his letters and multiple recreational compositions. This material has long been a puzzle for Mozart scholarship. Some scholars try to understand it in terms of its role in Mozart's family, his society and his times; others attempt to understand it as a result of an "impressive list"[2] of psychiatric conditions from which Mozart is claimed to have suffered.

Examples[edit]

Self-portrait in pencil of Maria Anna Thekla Mozart, from 1777 or 1778

A letter dated 5 November 1777[3] to Mozart's cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart is an example of Mozart's use of scatology. The German original[4] is in rhymed verse.

Well, I wish you good night, but first, Shit in your bed and make it burst. Sleep soundly, my love Into your mouth your arse you'll shove.[5]

Mozart's canon "Leck mich im Arsch" K. 231 (K6 382c) includes the lyrics:

Leck mich im A[rsch] g'schwindi, g'schwindi!

This would be translated into English as "lick me in the arse, quickly, quickly!"

"Leck mich im Arsch" is a standard vulgarism in German, euphemistically called the Swabian salute (German: schwäbischer Gruß). Although contemporary German would rather say "Leck mich am Arsch."[6] The closest English counterpart is "Kiss my arse".

Context[edit]

Musicologist David Schroeder writes:

The passage of time has created an almost unbridgeable gulf between ourselves and Mozart's time, forcing us to misread his scatological letters even more drastically than his other letters. Very simply, these letters embarrass us, and we have tried to suppress them, trivialize them, or explain them out of the epistolary canon with pathological excuses.[7]

For example, when Margaret Thatcher was apprised of Mozart's scatology during a visit to the theatre to see Peter Shaffer's play Amadeus, director Peter Hall relates:

She was not pleased. In her best headmistress style, she gave me a severe wigging for putting on a play that depicted Mozart as a scatological imp with a love of four-letter words. It was inconceivable, she said, that a man who wrote such exquisite and elegant music could be so foul-mouthed. I said that Mozart's letters proved he was just that: he had an extraordinarily infantile sense of humour ... "I don't think you heard what I said", replied the Prime Minister. "He couldn't have been like that". I offered (and sent) a copy of Mozart's letters to Number Ten the next day; I was even thanked by the appropriate Private Secretary. But it was useless: the Prime Minister said I was wrong, so wrong I was.[8]

Letters[edit]

Benjamin Simkin, an endocrinologist,[9] estimates that 39 of Mozart's letters include scatological passages. Almost all of these are directed to Mozart's own family, specifically his father Leopold, his mother Anna Maria, his sister Nannerl, and his cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart. According to Simkin, Leopold, Anna Maria and Nannerl also included scatological humour in their own letters.[10] Thus, Anna Maria wrote to her husband (26 September 1777; original is in rhyme):

Addio, ben mio. Keep well, my love. Into your mouth your arse you'll shove. I wish you good night, my dear, But first, shit in your bed and make it burst.[11]

Even the relatively straitlaced Leopold used a scatological expression in one letter.[12]

Several of Mozart's scatological letters were written to Maria Anna Thekla Mozart, his cousin (and probable love interest, according to the musicologist Maynard Solomon).[13] These are often called the "Bäsle letters", after the German word Bäsle, a diminutive form meaning "little cousin". In these letters, written after Mozart had spent a pleasant two weeks with his cousin in her native Augsburg,[14] the scatology is combined with word play and sexual references. American academic Robert Spaethling's rendered translation of part of a letter Mozart sent from Mannheim 5 November 1777:

Dearest cozz buzz! I have received reprieved your highly esteemed writing biting, and I have noted doted thy my uncle garfuncle, my aunt slant, and you too, are all well mell. We, too thank god, are in good fettle kettle ... You write further, indeed you let it all out, you expose yourself, you let yourself be heard, you give me notice, you declare yourself, you indicate to me, you bring me the news, you announce unto me, you state in broad daylight, you demand, you desire, you wish, you want, you like, you command that I, too, should could send you my Portrait. Eh bien, I shall mail fail it for sure. Oui, by the love of my skin, I shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin...[15]

One of the letters Mozart wrote to his father while visiting Augsburg reports an encounter Mozart and his cousin had with a priest named Father Emilian:

[He was] an arrogant ass and a simple-minded little wit of his profession ... finally when he was a little drunk, which happened soon, he started on about music. He sang a canon, and said: I have never in my life heard anything more beautiful ... He started. I took the third voice, but I slipped in an entirely different text: 'P[ater] E: o du schwanz, leck mich im arsch' ["Father Emilian, oh you prick, lick me in the arse"]. Sotto voce, to my cousin. Then we laughed together for another half hour.[16]

Music[edit]

Mozart's scatological music was most likely recreational and shared among a closed group of inebriated friends. All of it takes the form of canons (rounds), in which each voice enters with the same words and music following a delay after the previous voice. Musicologist David J. Buch writes:

It may seem strange that Mozart made fair copies, entered these items into his personal works catalogue (in which he tended to omit ephemeral works) and allowed them to be copied. The reason he favored these small and crude pieces in ways similar to his more serious and important works remains a mystery.[17]

Reactions of family and friends[edit]

Historian Lucy Coatman argues that Maria Anna Thekla and Mozart likely had a shared sense of humour, something which she believes has been "discounted throughout much of the historiography on this set of correspondence".[18]: 3  While scholars are not aware of her replies to her cousin, it can be assumed from what is known of their relationship and his continued correspondence that she was likely not offended by Mozart's vulgar references.

In 1798, Constanze sent her late husband's Bäsle letters to the publishers Breitkopf & Härtel, who at the time were gathering material in hopes of preparing a Mozart biography.[19] In the accompanying letter she wrote "Although in dubious taste, the letters to his cousin are full of wit and deserve mentioning, although they cannot of course be published in their entirety."[20] K.A. Aterman suggests that this ambivalence is a result of the "change in the taste and the 'refinement' spreading to, and in, the rising middle class" in the early 19th century.[21]

In the 18th century[edit]

Gottfried Prehauser, an actor of 18th-century Vienna, playing Hanswurst

Schroeder (1999) suggests that in the 18th century scatological humour was far more public and "mainstream". The German-language popular theatre of Mozart's time was influenced by the Italian commedia dell'arte and emphasized the stock character of Hanswurst, a coarse and robust character who would entertain his audience by pretending to eat large and unlikely objects (for instance, a whole calf), then defecating them.[22]

Schroeder suggests a political underlay to the scatology in popular theatre: its viewers lived under a system of hereditary aristocracy that excluded them from political participation. The vulgarity of scatological popular theatre was a counterpoint to the refined culture imposed from above.[23] One of Mozart's own letters describes aristocrats in scatological terms; he identified the aristocrats present at a concert in Augsburg (1777) as "the Duchess Smackarse, the Countess Pleasurepisser, the Princess Stinkmess, and the two Princes Potbelly von Pigdick".[24]

In German culture[edit]

The folklorist and cultural anthropologist Alan Dundes suggested that interest in or tolerance for scatological matters is a specific trait of German national culture, one which is retained to this day:[25]

In German folklore, one finds an inordinate number of texts concerned with anality. Scheiße (shit), Dreck (dirt), Mist (manure), Arsch (ass), and other locutions are commonplace. Folksongs, folktales, proverbs, folk speech—all attest to the Germans' longstanding special interest in this area of human activity. I am not claiming that other peoples of the world do not express a healthy concern for this area, but rather that the Germans appear to be preoccupied with such themes. It is thus not so much a matter of difference as it is of degree.[26]

Dundes (1984) provides ample coverage of scatological humor in Mozart, but also cites scatological texts from Martin Luther, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Heinrich Heine, and others who helped shaped German culture. Karhausen (1993) asserts that "scatology was common in Mitteleuropa [central Europe]", noting for instance that Mozart's Salzburg colleague Michael Haydn also wrote a scatological canon.[27]

Some of the phrases used by Mozart in his scatological material were not original with him but were part of the folklore and culture of his day: professor of German Mieder (2003) describes the Bäsle letters as involving "Mozart's intentional play with what is for the most part preformulated folk speech".[28] An example given by Robert Spaethling is the folkloric origin of a phrase seen above, "Gute Nacht, scheiß ins Bett dass' Kracht", claimed by Spaethling to be a "children's rhyme that is still current in south German language areas today".[29] Likewise, when Mozart sang to Aloysia Weber the words "Leck mich das Mensch im Arsch, das mich nicht will" ("Whoever doesn't want me can lick my arse") on the occasion of being romantically rejected by her, he was evidently singing an existing folk tune, not a song of his own invention.[30]

Medical accounts[edit]

An early 20th-century observer who suspected that Mozart's scatological materials could be interpreted by psychological pathologies was the Austrian writer Stefan Zweig, who amassed a large collection of musical manuscripts. His collection included the Bäsle letters (at the time, unpublished) as well as the autographs of Mozart's scatological canons "Difficile lectu" and "O du eselhafter Peierl".[31] Zweig sent copies of the Bäsle letters to the psychiatrist Sigmund Freud with the following suggestion:

These nine letters ... throw a psychologically very remarkable light on his erotic nature, which, more so than any other important man, has elements of infantilism and coprophilia. It would actually be a very interesting study for one of your pupils.[32]

Freud apparently declined Zweig's suggestion. As Schroeder notes, later psychobiographers seized on the letters as evidence for psychopathological tendencies in Mozart.[33]

Some authors in the 1990s interpreted the material as evidence that Mozart had Tourette syndrome (TS).[34] Simkin catalogued the scatological letters and compared their frequencies with similar vulgarisms from other members of Mozart's family—they are far more frequent. The scatological materials were combined by Simkin with biographical accounts from Mozart's own time that suggested that Mozart suffered from the tics characteristic of Tourette syndrome.[35] His claim was picked up by newspapers worldwide, causing an international sensation, and internet websites have fueled the speculation.[36]

While often discussed, the Mozart/Tourette hypothesis has failed to sway mainstream opinion on this issue. Indeed, German psychiatrist Thomas Kammer (2007) states that the work proposing the hypothesis has been "promptly and harshly" criticized.[2] The critical commentary asserts both medical misdiagnosis and errors of Mozart scholarship.[37] Kammer concluded that "Tourette's syndrome is an inventive but implausible diagnosis in the medical history of Mozart". Evidence of motor tics was found lacking and the notion that involuntary vocal tics are transferred to the written form was labeled "problematic".[2] Neurologist and author Oliver Sacks published an editorial disputing Simkin's claim,[38] and the Tourette Syndrome Association pointed out the speculative nature of this information.[36] No Tourette's syndrome expert or organization has voiced concurrence that there is credible evidence to conclude that Mozart had Tourette's.[39] One TS specialist stated that "although some websites list Mozart as an individual who had Tourette's or OCD, it's not clear from the descriptions of his behavior that he actually had either".[40]

Coatman, who supports a social and philological explanation of Mozart's scatology, has suggested that such retrospective diagnoses reveal a problem with the perusal of letters as a genre. Following ethicist Osamu Muramoto,[41]. she states that "retrospecive diagnosis can be challenged not only on an epistemic level but also on the ontological and ethical ones".[18]: 5  She notes that by projecting modern sensibilities back onto the letters, scholars from a range of fields have "failed to understand the historical context, language usage of eighteenth-century Salzburg, and indeed, the personality of Mozart".[18]: 2 

Scatological materials[edit]

In letters[edit]

Benjamin Simkin's compilation lists scatological letters by Mozart to the following individuals:[35]

his father, Leopold Mozart: twenty letters

his wife, Constanze Mozart: six letters

his cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart: six letters

his sister Maria Anna Mozart (Nannerl): four letters

his mother Anna Maria Mozart: one letter

his mother and sister jointly: one letter

his Salzburg friend Abbé Joseph Bullinger: one letter

his friend, the choirmaster Anton Stoll, for whom he wrote Ave verum corpus: one letter

In music[edit]

The canons were first published after Mozart's death with bowdlerized lyrics;[citation needed] for instance, "Leck mir den Arsch fein rein" ("Lick me in the arse nice and clean") became "Nichts labt mich mehr als Wein" ("Nothing refreshes me more than wine"). In some cases, only the first line of the original scatological lyrics is preserved. The following list is ordered by Köchel catalog number. Voices and conjectured dates are from Zaslaw & Cowdery (1990:101–105); and links marked "score" lead to the online edition of the Neue Mozart-Ausgabe.

"Leck mich im Arsch" ("Lick me in the arse"), K. 231 (K6 382c), for six voices. (Score). Composed some time in the 1780s. First published as "Lass froh uns sein" ("Let us be joyful").

"Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber" ("Lick my arse right well and clean"), K. 233 (K6 382d). (Score). First published as "Nichts labt mich mehr als Wein" ("Nothing pleases me more than wine"). The music of this canon was once thought to be by Mozart but was shown in 1988 by Wolfgang Plath to be by Wenzel Trnka, originally to the Italian words "Tu sei gelosa, è vero".[42] As the editors of the Neue Mozart-Ausgabe note, the work almost certainly should be considered a work of Mozart's, but as the author of the lyrics rather than as the composer.[43]

"Bei der Hitz im Sommer eß ich" ("In the heat of summer I eat"), K. 234 (K6 382e). (Score). As with K. 233, the music is not by Mozart; originally it was the canon "So che vanti un cor ingrato" by Wenzel Trnka.[citation needed]

"Gehn wir im Prater, gehn wir in d' Hetz", K. 558, for four voices. (Score). 1788 or earlier.

Difficile lectu mihi Mars, K. 559, for three voices. (Score). C. 1786–1787.

O du eselhafter Peierl, ("Oh, you asinine Peierl") for four voices, K. 560a. (Score). C. 1786–1787. A slightly revised version, "O du eselhafter Martin", is catalogued as K. 560b.

"Bona nox" ("Good night") K. 561, for four voices. (Score). 1788 or earlier.

[tsuchinokoroyale]

do you have any fav webcomics rn? or any webcomics you'd recommend?

At the risk of being called out as a fake fan I actually don’t read any webcomics 😬 I’ve only actually kept up with one webcomic during the entirety of my life thus far but that was years ago and they stopped updating by the time I discovered the comic 🥲 from what I remember it was about a group of young teenagers dealing with regular young teenager stuff like angst, romance or lack thereof, burgeoning homosexuality, and discovering one of their friends has psychic powers.

My only comic intake comes in the form of manga really. I tried to get into webtoon and there were a few I liked well enough (( the one with cat heads was wild)) but on the whole it felt very… consumer friendly. I’m snobby and pretentious by nature so just telling good narratives doesn’t usually interest me too much. I like things that are particular and messy, where the hand of the author is used to slap you in the face. It’s why Tatsuki Fujimoto is one of my favorite modern mangakas. Fire Punch (( and chainsawman to a lesser degree )) is a FLAMING HOT plate of insane storytelling decisions and breakneck pacing but it’s so idiosyncratic in its insanity that it works for me, even though I don’t actually recommend it to anyone 😂 Obvious jojo fan too like Hirohiko Araki is really out there almost 40 years deep into this manga and still managing to snatch my wig on a monthly basis.

If you’re still looking for a recommendation, I would recommend Land of the Lustrous/ Houseki no Kuni (( or as I affectionately call it Hoe sucky no coochie 😌 <- mature adult moment )), which I don’t see getting as much love on here as it should 😤 I started watching it bc people were like lol anime Steven universe bc it’s about a bunch of androgynous but largely female presenting gems who are stone (( rock joke 😏 )) cold professionals taking care of the youngest gem, a plucky young thing that doesn’t really understand their place in the narrative. The major difference however is that Steven universe is a coming of age story about overcoming trauma while LoL/HnK is a coming of age story about being ground to dust by an unending influx of existential horror 🥹👍 it’s honestly one of the most horrifying stories I’ve read, not cuz it’s like junji ito scary but because of the way the relentless passage of time and the continuous accrual of personal mistakes and self hatred takes our plucky young protagonist and breaks them down to someone completely unrecognizable from where they started.

And not just like figuratively.

This evolution is one of the most heartbreaking character arcs I’ve ever experienced and now I want you to feel my PAIN 🥲👍 There is one season (( 🥹 )) of anime which has one of the best implementations of 3D anime I’ve seen from a company without ufotable’s budget. I’d start out with the anime which is really well done and then switch over to the mango 🥭 (( which is still ongoing ))

[le-panicked-frog]

ok, i've got my grandmother over right now, so i have Things To Say;

Afford trans people the same respect you would afford cis people.

shocking, right? look, whenever my grammy comes over we always end up on the subject of queer rights, because i'm literally the only queer person she knows and apparently it's my responsibility to educate her. and the fun Topic Of Debate today was eddie redmayne in 'the danish girl' - namely that he thinks he made a mistake on taking on the role. and i agree.

do i think that queer roles should always be played by actors of the same passage of life and the same experiences? no, actually. that's what led to kit connor being outed before he was ready. i do think that there should be people who have at least similar experiences directing, writing, and helping in other ways, but the actors don't need to have those same experiences, or out themselves for a role.

but trans characters should be played by actors of the right gender. and that doesn't mean their assigned-at-birth gender, that means their *actual* gender. now, does this mean i hate eddie redmayne? no. does this mean i think he shouldn't've taken the role? yes. does it mean i think he doesn't look absolutely fire dressed as a woman? no. should he have rejected the role regardless? yes.

when people see transwomen played by cis men, or transmen played by cis women, it enforces the idea that trans people are just playing dress-up. people seeing eddie redmayne in 'the danish girl', regardless of how good a job he did, will leave with the idea that transwomen are just men underneath the makeup, hormones, surgery, etc., which leads to the problem of transwomen being seen as predators, leading to the problems with trans people being refused entry to the correct bathrooms because people worry about 'men dressed as women coming for their children.', as well as violence towards trans people.

and my mother was saying how the actor's assigned gender matches the character's assigned-at-birth gender, and i had to try to explain that that's not the point. they dressed a cis man up as a woman with some makeup and wigs, etc, they absolutely could've dressed a cis woman up as a man, and then - tada! she was played by a woman all along, as she should've been, because transwomen *are* women.

and i spoke to my mother and asked if she'd be comfortable with a character who is a cis woman being played by a cis man, and she said that no, it would make her uncomfortable. and that's the point. a transwoman being played by a cis man should make you uncomfortable, just like a cis woman being played by a man would make you uncomfortable.

and she was saying how i'm not affording her the time to process this and i'm not allowing her to ask questions, and you know what? no shit! i'm not teaching a class! it is not and should not be my responsibility to educate you on this, you can do your own research, just like i have had to! it is exhausting to be constantly debating my rights and existence every time i see these people i care about, and i'm just a kid! why is it up to me to explain everything to them? they've said that they ask me because they know i've done this research, and i've "got the answers" - why can't they just do their own research???

basically, i'm tired and frustrated and i kinda forgot where i was going with this, but it shouldn't be my responsibility to, as a child, educate fully-grown adults, and i shouldn't have to explain to them that transwomen *are* infact women and should be afforded the same respect as cis women.

[thehallstara]

OH ACTUALLY I ALSO JUST GOT REMINDED LENNY DIED TODAY TOO and i have a little ficlet i never posted so you know what have lenny’s first time in drag too

Lenny doesn’t recognize her face in the mirror. This is, she supposes, a good thing; Doom and Jazzmeralda have done an excellent job transforming her, in the end. But it’s hard to look at herself and recognize anything worth remembering, between the thick cream––clown white, Jazz had called it––and the blue of instability still pulsating behind her irises, even if they’re lined in the thickest eyeliner she’s ever worn.

“How do you feel?” Jazz asks, chewing at the bottom of zer lip.

“Weird,” Lenny says, because it’s the only thing she can say.

Doom laughs, loud and peeling. “Yeah, it’s usually like that the first time. You’ll get used to it.”

Lenny doesn’t say what she wants to, something about how she’ll be lucky if she gets the time to get used to it. It’s pessimistic, maybe, but between Randy and Dom, she can’t say she feels particularly great about her possibilities weathering this instability. There’s something echoing in the back of her head that Nagomi once said, about two being stability and three being a curse.

Doom leans over, like vae can see the apprehension in her eyes, and ruffles her hair. “So, what do you think? Want me to try and style this, or would you rather try out one of my wigs?”

“Whichever,” she shrugs, not particularly caring. “Why are we doing this again?”

“It’s a right of passage,” Jazz says at the same time as Doom says, “Because you deserve to go out with a bang.”

Jazz turns on vaer, smacking vaer on the arm. “Doom,” ze hisses, then turns to Lenny. “Vae doesn’t mean that.”

“Come on, Jazz! There’s no use pretending like we don’t all know what might happen.”

“That doesn’t mean you just say things like that–“

“Guys.” Lenny tries to get their attention, but neither of them are listening.

“We all know what it feels like, Jazz–“

“Yeah, but I’m sure Lenny doesn’t want to be reminded–“

“Guys!” That time she’s loud enough that they both stop, sputtering out. She picks up a brush from the vanity without looking, handing it to Doom. “Lets finish the job first instead whatever the fuck that was, okay?”

“Oh, honey,” Jazz leans over into the mirror, smoothing down the hair Doom had messed up, “That’s absolutely not the type of brush you want to use on your kind of hair.”

“You’re right, though,” Doom butts in. “We’ll get you looking perfect in no time.”

Lenny just sighs and closes her eyes as they get back to work, trying to let her breath guide her, or some saccharine shit like that. It has to work eventually, right?

[killmebythebeach]

Get asked gamed you have so many fics I like (that i never realised were yours until much later) so I'm just gonna take a whole bunch of bits for Their Dragon because I reread it constantly

Gem took a deep breath, giving a weak smile. It was really a demon she needed to worry about, but she got the message. Pearl could protect her from anything.

This thoughts disappeared as there was a knock on the door. Gem bolted up and hid in the pantry, like the first day she was staying there when Pearl came back.

I absolutely love her deciding to be brave and then Immediately nopeing out of that decision when someone knocked (though it was definitely the smart thing to do, paranoia wins this time around)

Sausage hummed. "Either way, they're razing the earth just looking for the advisor! Apparently she was their Dragon in taking over Scott."

"Dragon?" Pearl questioned.

"It's a Mythland phrase," Sausage explained. "Usually Mythland royals will get warriors or assassins or magic users to do their dirty work and fear monger to their citizens so they don't have to. I don't have a Dragon, I'm strong and terrifying on my own!"

I love dragons. I love worldbuilding. Combine the two and you have me thinking about this bit for Ages. Especially with Sausage's boasting lol, I love him so much

Gem was shaking like a leaf as the rulers bid eachother bye.

Xornoth was concerned.

But Xornoth lied.

They never saw Gem like an equal, hell, even like a person she realizes more and more. You don't withhold food for a person for asking too many questions. You don't lock a person in a cell until you need them.

The realisation is just ✨amazing✨ and I want to give Gem a cookie and a hug so badlyy in this bit (luckily Pearl gives the hug in my place)

"Will we still be able to go look at the beanstalks?"

And finally, Gem actually getting to be a child like she deserves <3

Everyone go read the fic rn this is a threat

Yes! Gem my little anxious meow meow <3 this is the first time someone has knocked on Pearl's door probably since she got to Gilded Helanthia, as I think I mention Pearl is out helping her citizens most the time so no one really bothers to see if she's in her house.

I also think it's really fun that Pearl doesn't actually know what Gem is running from, and since she missed Xornoth's first meeting this is the first time she's realized just how much trouble she's in if Gem is found.

Yes! I was scrolling TV Tropes, and Dragons have always been one of my favorite character archetypes. A Dragon is exactly what I described here pretty much, think Azula from atla, how she's much more active than Ozai,but he's still the big bad.

So this was definetly a play on that, plus if Sausage doesn't boast a LITTLE, is it even Sausage? And if Mythland lore isn't a little morally questionable, is it even Mythland?

Yes! I think Gem has realized that Xornoth didn't see her like an equal after she asked if she could go to the Crystal Cliffs, but with Pearl? Who gives her safe passage and food and protection and comforts her when she's wigging out even though Gem hasn't really done anything for her?

And all the books she's read in Rivendell and Gilded Helanthia cluing her in that maybe the was she was raised wasn't exactly NORMAL (with Xornoth or with the Countess)... plus with five days of not being around Xornoth's lies? Yeah, the realization hit her like a truck on the third day. She hid in the cabinet the whole day nearly, Pearl sitting on the other side of the door trying to get her out.

Yes! Gem is unfortunately very curious, so just sitting in one house for nearly a week was absolutely tantalizing. And her only sources of information for years being whatever Xornoth tells her (filled with lies to gain sympathy points) and Rivendell libraries (very filtered and centered around Rivendell royalty, which can get pretty boring after a while), she's excited to learn everything she can.

And she has renewed confidence, especially in Pearl. If she's willing to lie to a fellow ruler for her? Especially someone who seemed like a close friend? Gem can face anything with Pearl.

I'm so glad you like it!

[luckyluan]

CHAPTER 6.2: THE FITTING

Osprey smacked his thighs and heaved himself out of his low, puce chair and set to work. He whirled around the dimly lit dressing room in a graceful lope. He rummaged between racks of couture clothing as he called to Maxim over his shoulder.  

“I don’t understand how you and yours got out the game. Iwas told that was impossible...”  

“Bit of good luck.” Maxim responded. 

“Sure, that’s what we’ll call it.” Osprey quipped. “Try this on.” 

Maxim stepped through a pair of slate gray pants and Osprey held open the arms of the matching sports coat. He slid his arms through, and the silk fabric was cool against his warm skin. 

“That shower got you right?” Osprey smirked. 

“Man, the last time I showered I found a magic mic in there with me.” 

Maxim fasted the first matte black button and let his arms fall to his sides. He turned and squatted; brought his knees up to his chest and jumped into the air. His form fitting pants dusted the tops of his feet as he stood on the tips of his toes. 

“Dope.” Maxim sighed. 

“Yeah? The suit is made with a copper-Kevlar hybrid polymer which helps with gunfire and cameras. Bulletproof, hyperreflective, and Abnormal repellent. Damn, I’m good at my job!” Osprey celebrated. “Now for your hair.” 

He pulled Maxim’s locs into a high ponytail and inserted hairpins. He slid a stocking cap over his hair and placed a tight lace front wig on top of his head. He groaned as the billowing tufts of afro fell in his eyes. 

“I look like an extra in ‘Hair.’”  

“I’m trying to conceal seven-year-old locs under a bald cap, Falcon. I’m doing the best I can.” Osprey shot at him 

“I mean, you said you were the best...” Maxim teased. 

“I said I was good at my job. Don’t cut up in here.” 

Osprey snatched the wig off his head and disappeared into his hair closet. He emerged moments later with a brown leather box and placed it in Maxim’s hands. Maxim lifted the lid. 

“This was a gift from an immensely powerful witch whose family runs a mythic animal rescue in North Morgan. He and his pops wear these to care for the more violent creatures. It allows the wearer to alter their appearance for as long as the hat is on.” explained Osprey. 

“Shit. I heard these were in a myth!” Maxim squealed. “How did you get this?” 

“I styled the prodigal son for a commercial. This is how the St. James family shows their gratitude. It’s a high honor.” Osprey continued. “Legend has it the Sky Godhead fashioned these from the midday sky to conceal cowhands from enemies.” 

“I can’t take this. It’s too much.” said Maxim. 

“Nonsense. I tricked it out.” Osprey ruminated. “The original Sky Stetsons are used for farmwork, but this one adapted to my needs when it changed hands and now you can be anyone—human or abnormal.” 

“I love this life.” 

Maxim mused. He ran his fingers over the Sky Stetson and its sky-blue fabric danced with fluffy drifting clouds. He positioned the hat on his head and thought of a particular ex-boyfriend. Maxim’s face blurred until a new man stood in the trifold mirror. He was noticeably shorter with a bald head and tan, freckled skin.” 

“That’s fuckin’ devious, Osprey!” Maxim squealed. “Oh, my husband would absolutely kill me.” 

“Yeah, you’re a fucking heartthrob, man.” Osprey said. “Anything else?” 

“Nah, you made my day, man. It’s so good to see you again.” Maxim said. 

“You too, brother. Say, bright passage through them dark streets.” Osprey smiled. 

[sapphireisverygaymydudes]

Ok so Dr Who thoughts

Obviously spoliers

He’s literally standing like

🧍

I think it’s so funny that he just puts the box back on the stack once he sees it’s her.

His confusion with Roses name is so funny to me, eventually he just like gave up

I forget her name, the badass UNIT person, who has MOTHERFUCKING BOMBS IN HER WHEELS!!! Most UNIT people who meet the Doctor are like “oh I’ve wanted to meet you all my life” and then this bad ass bitch is like “you wish”

I LOVE how they’re approaching Rose being trans, how it’s been difficult for Sylvia o adjust but how protective Donna is of Rose. Like Sylvia wasn’t the greatest mother to Donna so Donna makes sure that Rose knows she is proud of her and how much she loves her.

The Meep was such a plot twist.

Rose being like “uhm, just gonna assume?” And the Doctor is like “yeah your totally right, I’m sorry” I love it when characters who are right put him is his place. When characters who aren’t right do it, it’s annoying.

Donna just being Donna is amazing and I don’t think I realized how much I missed her until this.

The Doctor handing Donna the screwdriver is just like instinct to the both of them and i love it

When watching this my mom said that the guy sleeping should have been James Cordon’s character from 11 and I totally agree

When he got out of the car I was like “ohhhh he’s got his grumpy face on, shit here we go”

The wig

Are you flipping kidding me

Again, the fucking Meep, what the shit

Donna like doing things that are just like instinct to her cause things are making sense again.

When he says “you can’t get involved” Donna’s like don’t tell me what to do skinny man” it’s her bitch face and I love it.

DOCTORDONNA IS FUCKING BACK AND I LOVE IT

This whole ep Donna hasn’t really been the Donna we knew, and I get that the passage of time will change people, but it didn’t feel right then she was Donna fucking Noble again. I was so happy

That little short out goodbye was really sweet

Rose being the genius that she deserves to be

When I heard that Donna’s daughter was gonna be named Rose, I thought it was because Donna had like this instinct to name her Rose cause of Rose Tyler but Rose picking it because of the Metacrisis was awesome too

Donna is right that if Rose stepped into the TARDIS something would’ve gone wrong, something did go wrong but it’s Donna and the Doctor again so it’s fine.

Wilf will love to see the Doctor (with that face) and Donna (with her memories) together again. Hopefully that’s is the third special, Bernard Cribbins filmed stuff for this before he passed (rip), so holding out hope.

Puppy dog eyes from the Doctor and Donna for the win

The new TARDIS looks so fun, it looks very real and practical so that’s awesome. Hopefully Donna spilling it and setting it on fire doesn’t mean that 15 has a different one.

All the walkways are amazing for an ADHD time lord who gets the zoomies. Like the second he put his coat down he was zooming and when he was at the panel he was fiddling with everything. This is probably my second favorite console room, the first being 12s

The Doctor remembering the way Donna likes her coffee is just so wholesome I’m gonna be sick

I don’t like how they’re talking about his just visiting, that’s not how he rolls and it also makes me scared that Donna’s gonna die and he’s gonna wish he said yes

Donna spilling the coffee in to the console 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS again is such a Donna thing to do.

Dude you need a fire extinguisher nearby at all times. The sonic should have that setting.

I’m very satisfied with how they kept Donna alive and it’s not something outerworldly like a weird alien drink or something. It’s just her awesome daughter.

My brother and mother had no idea that Yasmin Finney was trans and they were kinda shocked, I only knew cause of Heartstopper, she is so pretty.

[idolatreclothing]

Fawn & fae. 🦌🧚‍♀️✨ Beautiful photo by @natalia_lefay of the lovely @kuperfuchs features my Queen of the Forest 10 Point Antler Headdress with a custom base shape, wings by @feenladen & wig by @kamizero_ . I’m always so happy when you tag me in images featuring pieces you’ve owned and enjoyed wearing for years. 🥰 Speaking of the passage of time, you may have noticed some changes the last few months- mainly me taking a few month long break starting in September from social media. Between a huge amount seasonal work, constant family emergencies, and several pet emergencies one of which claimed the life of my sweet gremlin cat co-pilot Sweet Dee 🐈🖤 I’ve been feeling exhausted and burnt out. It seems like the day in day out grind of production with no alleviation in my personal life or time to mitigate burn out with new projects really took it’s toll on my mental health, and I need to make some changes to achieve more balance. Starting in 2023 I’m going to be: ✨cutting some items out of my line of products that I’m simply tired of making. ✨keeping my production times for all at 3-4 weeks instead of altering it based on work flow. ✨taking a break from large custom projects/commissions to focus on new work I want to produce. This last item is really important to me. I literally have a box of new product samples gathering dust that are more representative of my current skill level and corresponding interests because my schedule is so packed I have no time to photograph, write listings, develop the necessary specs for them, etc. to make them viable. In conclusion 2022 was a really rough year but 2023 is going to be better, if for no other reason than I’m committed to taking better care of my mental, physical, and creative self. ❤️‍🩹 If you’re still here, thanks for reading, friend. 🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/ClzT4L2SwfP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[desertdollranch]

Full collection of Pauline Leung, an American Girl. 1884, Tombstone, Arizona Territory.

Here is Pauline’s entire collection! 

Pauline Leung is a 10-year-old girl living in Tombstone, Arizona Territory. In 1884, the Wild West town of Tombstone is busy and bustling, made prosperous by the nearby silver mines. Pauline is the daughter of a French-Canadian mother and a Chinese father. Her family came to Tombstone hoping to make their fortune, but all seems lost when her father suddenly goes missing after receiving a cryptic telegraph. There are many other Chinese-American people already living in Tombstone, but hardly any of them are children, so Pauline is often lonely and does not feel at home. She often faces discrimination, made worse by the recent passage of the Chinese Exclusion Act that prevents anyone from immigrating to the United States from China. Pauline is not allowed to attend the local school; instead, she and her mother work as domestic servants in the palatial home of a wealthy mine owner. One of the young girls who lives there befriends Pauline, and reveals that she may be able to help her find her father. Her clues lead Pauline through haunted saloons, underground passageways, dark staircases, and rugged canyons. It becomes clear to Pauline that there is far more to the residents of this strange town than meets the eye, and she will find more adventure than she ever expected to encounter!

Pauline has six outfits in her collection, plus a pinafore and a jacket. She doesn’t have many clothes compared to my other historical OCs, but that reflects her working class situation. They’re very simple in the way they’re cut, with not much decoration. Since American Girl has never made a character from this time period, I really had to go hunting for inspiration. I ended up looking at a lot of paper dolls from pre-2000 editions of American Girl Magazine, which featured several outfits from the 1880s. Her blue and striped sailor suit was inspired by an image in a fashion magazine from that decade. The light green short-sleeved dress came from a porcelain doll my grandma was throwing out, but I sewed everything else. Her jacket and bonnet were pieces I made for Kirsten a while ago as a reproduction of her recess outfit, but she hardly ever wears it. I think it looks just as cute on Pauline.

Pauline is a Truly Me #64 customized with a wig from a TM #14. Her unique leaning-to-the-side posture makes her extra cute. I found her on Mercari a couple years ago and had her spend a while as a modern character before deciding I liked her better as a historical. I wanted the chance to explore some Wild West themes of expoloration and adventure while learning more about the immigrants and people of color who lived at that time, especially the Chinese immigrants who worked in the mines and built railroads. Tombstone was home to many of them, and had its own Chinatown during the years when the silver mines were producing abundantly. It’s also said to be a very haunted town, with plenty of spooky old buildings and abandoned mine shafts. I’m hoping to take Pauline to Tombstone this coming spring, so that will give me some more inspiration to continue her story arc.

[sukuna-thirst-trap]

Sukuna Ryoumen x Geisha!fem Reader Fun facts

I thought I'd do this for a bit of fun after finishing off chap.5

Geishas have an elegant walk which they are taught from a young age as maikos. Even so this walk can be fast or slow. Depending upon the occasion.

Sukuna being much taller has a decent stride so reader will find themselves moving fast enough to just keep up but also appearing elegant as well.

The shape of the lower half of the kimono limits the walking stride, hence walking was perfected almost like artform. where a Geiko may be able to walk fast but is still limited.

“ Hey! No running now y/n”

Sukuna has a big ego, having his own personal geisha boosts said ego

" Oye Oye look at my little gaisha, y/n. "

Also sukuna " DONT FUCKING LOOK AT MY LITTLE GEISHA!"

Sukuna loves his praises from you, it's like next level worshiping for him

" Sukuna, I love watching you spar"

The dudes not going to blush but he sure as hell will give a cheeky smile back. And a wink. Always a wink. 

Probably also do that whole peck thing where he moves them just to show off.

Sukuna highly enjoys food, tea is close enough to this so he enjoys it when his little geisha brings him tea or anything food wise.

" shit! You actually made this? Damn little geisha, you know how to make a decent tea"

Enjoys sharing his bed with you. It's a good way to keep a close eye on you and also boosts his ego too

Plus cuddles, Sukuna loves his cuddles but won’t admit it.

Literally Sukuna towers the hell out of you, the dude is basically close to nine feet tall at this point in his cursed form.

“ How's the weather down there, y/n?”

He will actually sit there and let you feed him without him biting off your hand or arm

Geisha are taught that if they marry to the art, not a man. So for a Geisha to give up her status is almost forbidden and classed as shameful.

A Geisha may not return back to being a Geisha once married.

It may be complex but Sukuna is a rule bender so reader still is classed as his little Geisha and if anyone says otherwise, watch out

“ You said fucking what about my Geisha?!”

But being Sukuna’s Geisha holds status. Other Geishas will eventually find Reader as a rival and become jealous of Sukuna’s attention being on you at all times and never on any other women who attempt to impress.

Trust me, other women try and it bores the hell out of him

“ I’d rather go Massacare a town then give any attention to another woman.Tch! “

Geisha are not concubines. They are artists and although yes they may accept or decline sexual advances, it was  a rite of passage for a maiko to under take the mizuage to become a geiko.

mizuage is the loss of virginity and partly the reason people in western culture confuse Geishas as concubines. 

after mizuage, Geishas are allowed to refuse having sex with customers.

Modern times Geisha are not sex workers and do not have sex with customers in todays world. 

The Mizuage rite was ruled out during the early 50′s due to western culture.

Heien period this was still a tradition for Maiko

Geiko are the same as well as Gege and Geisha as it is a term used to describe those who entertain by dance.

Maiko and Geiko kimonos are extremely different as well as their hair.

Reader may wear a wig, where as during their maiko time it must be natural hair.

Okiya is in terms a house and is often hard to get into. [I just found this out so earlier chapters I call a Okiya a house]

Reader no longer has a Okiya due to Sukuna’s destroying it

Sukuna gets greedy and jealous if anyone looks at reader.

“ I’ll gauge your eyes out!” 

Despite being evil Sukuna is actually protective of his things and reader being his little Geisha, is also protective of reader.

Sukuna won’t ever be a big softy, he is mostly driven by power and his own personal ideas and goals.

The reader relationship with Sukuna is indeed toxic to a point as it half balances out and then tips when Sukuna is in a bad mood. 

I cant justify Sukuna’s actions, if you’ve read the shibuya arc you know how far Sukuna is going to go when it comes to being cruel.

The dudes a curse with a hunger for human flesh basically. 

Sukuna degrades humans, hates the fact he was one prior. 

Although Sukuna enjoys the reader and doesn’t seem to regard them as such a pathetic life form as what he does to anyone else

If Reader starts to show they enjoy being degraded you bet Sukuna will make it worth readers while

“ You like that, huh? Gambare gambare ! “ 

Sukuna does have a massive god complex, but hes very manipulative and cunning.

Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile.

[hope you enjoyed these small fun facts. Some of these I’ll go more into detail in future chapters I’m working on]

[hops-hunny]

You Can Be the Boss

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.2k

Request: N/A but it’s based off of this rambling here

Summary: Women are beautiful, but they sure don’t make ‘em like her.

Warnings: Weed, Alcohol, Mentions of sex.

A/N: I wrote this to cope with the copious amounts of work I had due but I finished it all so now we celebrate!

Hogwarts had many things but one thing it lacked severely was normality. Not that it was a problem, nobody who attended Hogwarts was normal but it didn’t stop a portion of muggle born students from feeling a bit homesick to things their muggle friends did at their own schools. That’s how the talent shows started. At first, the students tried to get it officiated by the school. Dumbledore thought it was a wonderful idea!....if it was professor supervised and when it turned out that Snape was the only professor with enough freetime on his hands, the idea of having it being school ran quickly flew out the window. But looking back on it now, many were happy they went with the idea of going behind the professors backs. It wasn’t like they weren’t aware, they just had no proof of it all happening. The atmosphere of the talent shows were different from ordinary talent shows, however.

For starters, anything went. Any talent you had you were encouraged to bring it no matter how big or small it was or if it was “school appropriate”. But the pro to this was also booze and bud, meaning that everyone had a good time no matter what. Although, as it would turn out there were many talented people at Hogwarts. So, for the past few months every Friday everyone would gather in the room of requirement, watching the many ups and downs of performances. Neville started frequenting there as often as he could. It was a win-win, his friends got free entertainment and he had a chance to make some money from selling to chumps with too much cash on their hands. What better way was there to spend the night? 

His hazel eyes snapped up at the feeling of his blunt being ripped out of his hand. He went to swear, glaring at whoever was stupid enough to do that but quickly stopped as he saw who it was. He watched with wide eyes as the tip of it went between her pretty (l/c) lips, exhaling smoke. (Y/n) (L/n). She was one of those girls you either knew or you didn’t but more than likely, you knew her. Before 5th year, no one so much as spared her a glance but after a very fortunate late puberty in their current year (7th) she was slowly becoming all anyone could talk about. It was truly amazing what a haircut and a bit of weight in your hips could do for your social life. He eyed her curiously as she looked down at him.

“You comin’ tonight?” she asked, exhaling another puff of smoke into his face. (Y/n) put the joint back in his hand, moving the heavy guitar case into her now free hand.

“Yeah. ‘Spose I am.” He mumbled, eyes trailing down the expanse of her plush thighs. They were on full display due to the skirt she wore that left nothing to the imagination. His eyes locked with her (e/c) ones as she hummed, nodding as she took the blunt back from him walking off. She flashed him a smile once more, winking as she turned the corner going merlin knows where.

“Oi! What does she think she’s doing? You really gonna let her take the blunt from you like that just because she’s fit?” Ron complained, glaring at the boy who was set with the rest of their group. Neville shrugged, turning his eyes back to his book as he turned the page.

“If you’re so bothered by it why don’t you go take it back yourself?” Neville sassed. They all looked at Ron waiting for a response, laughing as he had nothing to say but a small ‘piss off’ under his breath.

-----------------------------------------

Neville wasn’t one to put too much into his appearance. He’d usually just throw on a sweater vest over one of his uniform shirts and call it a day. However after the conversation he had had with (Y/n) earlier, he couldn’t help but wanna look nice. Was she flirting with him? He sighed as he glanced at his appearance in the mirror for a bit. ‘I doubt it.’ he thought. He shook the negative thoughts out of his head, packing his satchel with a few different strains. Just because some pretty girl was batting her pretty little eyes at him didn’t mean he was going to forget the reason he went to these things in the first place. The only other time Neville made this much money was Gryffindor common room parties and even then, it was only by a little.

But even as he was checking his appearance once again, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift. “Why am I wigging out? It’s not like we haven’t talked before.” He said out loud to himself. (Y/n) was a frequent buyer from him and even though he didn’t know her personally, she was one of the few people whose faces he remembered. At first, he was extremely annoyed by her. Who did she think she was showing up at his dorm at 3AM just to buy a bit of fucking jane? Every wednesday at the same time, she’d show up at his door (in a negligee that was far too short might he add) with that dopey look on her face asking to buy. And every single time without a doubt, he’d sell it to her. He had to admit, after a while he even started to enjoy the girl’s appearance. It gave him something to look forward to during his mundane school week.

“Ready to go, Nev? If we leave now, we can use a secret passage my brothers’ showed me.” Ron said, opening the door to Neville’s door. The lanky boy cleared his throat, giving the boy a nod as he wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. Without another word, they both began their way ready for the night to unfold.

As usual, the talent show didn’t disappoint...for all the wrong reasons. Even though the cringe worthy performances were top notch entertainment and he had already made quite a bit of money, he still couldn’t stop from searching the crowd for a certain head of (h/c) hair. Where was she? After the stunt she had pulled earlier, he was sure she would be here. She had some nerve doing that and then not showing up. However, as he turned his gaze back to the stage, he saw the woman of the hour herself. She was in an oversized crochet sweater dress and a pair of combat boots. His eyes looked up in wonder as she took the stage, sitting on a wooden stool that was placed from the last sad excuse of a performance.

“It’s a bloody shame that she’s so fucking hot. Poor thing is going to embarrass herself singing up there.” Ron said, taking a sip from the beer he had in his hand. Neville nodded in agreement, taking a hit from his blunt but not really paying mind to his friend. It was hard to do so when the girl of his dreams was on the stage a mere foot away from him. He was absolutely intoxicated by her (and the few shots he had taken a bit ago) but he had to agree it would suck when she-”

“You taste like the fourth of July

Malt liquor on your breath, my, my”

She sang into the microphone softly. Neville’s jaw dropped in awe at the sound of her voice which was nothing short of angelic. He wasn’t the only one who was stunned considering the whole crowd went silent, a stark contrast from the loud chatter and laughter from before. He watched as she strummed at the guitar in her hands, looking up from the ground into the crowd. Mesmerized wasn’t even the right word to describe the state he was in. 

“I love you but I don’t know why…”

His eyes were focused on her lips, taking in every word she said. Harry nudged him, mouthing the words ‘look up’ to him as a small pause had come into the song. Neville looked at him confused before trailing his eyes up, gasping when he saw that hers were locked on his own. She smiled and flashed him a wink before continuing her song, leaning in forward. His own body began to subconsciously drift forward to but at the last second she pulled away and continued to sing.

"Did you see that? She definitely wants me." Seamus boasted confidently. The others looked at him dumbfounded at the fact he could get even more idiotic than ever before.

"Don't be fucking dumb mate! She was clearly looking at me." Ron chimed in, causing another round of even more exasperated looks to be thrown the ginger's way. They truly were dumb and dumber.

"I-I think both of you are wrong. (Y/n) was looking at.." Harry trailed off as the girl stood up, dancing around the stage with her guitar as she continued to sing. Not a single pair of eyes weren't on her at the moment. Could you blame anyone? When a beautiful girl with the voice of a siren is on stage, you'd be a fool not to. However, dumb and dumbers’ argument ceased as she made very clear eye contact with their awkward friend.

“You can be the boss, daddy

You can be the boss”

“That’s all me boys.” Neville said, a triumphant smirk taking over his place as Dean leaned over to give him a fist bump. As much as (Y/n) had him wrapped around her finger, it appeared she was wrapped around his too. All the angry glares being sent his direction were only fuel to the pride he felt growing in his chest. Such a pretty girl, the same pretty girl who plagued all his wet dreams and shower thoughts, was not only on stage singing in front of him, but directly to him as well. She reached a hand forward, tips of her fingers lightly brushing against his flushed cheeks.

“I like you a lot, I like you a lot

Don’t let it stop”

“This is totally unfair. One of the hottest chicks in our year and she’s pining over Longbottom.” Seamus grumbled, grimacing as the liquor went down his throat hard. Dean rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“Jealous much?” he asked no one in particular, as that could be said about most of the guys they were sitting with.

“Bad to the bone, sick as a dog

You know that I like, like you a lot

Don’t let it stop”

Neville felt his own lips curl up into a smile at the sight of the one that belonged to the angel in front of him. However the cute moment didn’t last long cause once again, Ron chimed in with something else.

“Neville? Bad? He still sleeps in pajama sets!” he exclaimed quietly, earning a ‘shh!’ from Harry. The boy in question leaned forward, looking at his ginger friend.

“Is this really coming from the boy who needs Mummy’s howler to fall asleep at night?” that shut him right up. Harry snorted, high fiving him for bringing up the embarrassing piece of information. 

The girl continued to sing, eyes never leaving Neville’s for a second. Ron and Seamus’s petty comments had ceased as well. Even though they weren’t the one receiving attention, they could still admit the girl had pipes on her. When the song was over she stood up, bowing as the silence of the crowd quickly erupted in cheers and claps from the breathtaking performance. There were a few more people left but no one paid much mind to them. He found himself feeling bad for them. Even if they were good, none of them could top the performance of the night. 

As the night began to come to a close, (Y/n) found herself over to Neville again parking herself in his lap which he gladly accepted. She looked up at him, smiling shyly. It was almost comedic due to the words she had so sinfully sung to him only 45 minutes ago. Neville ignored the way his friends gawked at him. He’d deal with that another time.

“Come back to my room and split a spliff?” she asked, looking down as she picked at her fingers. He grabbed her hands, leaning in close to her.

“Only if I can eat your pussy afterwards.” he said confidently. He said it quiet enough to not draw attention but just loud enough that his friends would hear. (Y/n) felt her face grow warm as she nodded, hopping up from his lap as she dragged him off to her room.

Neville 1, blokes 0.

Extra:

“Seriously?! Is it really that easy? What does he have that I don’t?” Seamus said, mind running over the times he’d attempted saying things like that. The only place it had gotten him was on the ground after he had his balls kicked!

“It’s gotta be the weed. After all, who wouldn’t wanna sleep with the weed man? Free pot!” Ron exclaimed, trying to rationalize what had just happened.

“Aren’t you the residential booze man of Hogwarts? If that was the case, you’d have an easier time with women too.” Dean said, causing Harry to nod in agreement. Ron simply grumbled, slamming his empty bottle down as he walked off from the cackling group of blokes.