#the point of them to cause an upset and give the losing teams a shot at winning

[lovely-hikari-cosplay]

Alright, atp, Tricolor needs to be reworked so that the team in the lead is always defending (since Tricolor is supposed to be a catch-up opportunity for the losing teams) or the points need to be reduced.

There is no reason for Tricolor to still be 18 points if the leading team can be in any position, meaning they have a greater chance at winning period and thus unable to be unseated from the lead position.

You can correctly assume who is winning Tricolor by who wins the popular vote every time since they changed it to get more matches made, and that is antithetical to the purpose of Tricolor battles

[phas3d]

You Play Quidditch || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw:: none

contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire

summary :: you play quidditch either alongside them or against them, I automatically thought that you wouldn't be on the same team as them so uh,,, whoops

DRACO MALFOY

Loves the idea of it, the two best Quidditch players are dating

But once he finds out you're better than him, he hates it LMAO

Everyone starts to compare you two and he's so quick to defend himself and say he's better

Makes everything a competition now, he can't stand losing

Who's faster, who can dive better, better broom, cooler tricks, everything is a big competition to him

During his game days, if he's against you - he does not give a fuck

If anything, he's harsher against your team to make SURE he doesn't get embarrassed

If you end up winning against him, then he'll be upset the whole time during your celebration party

But if you lose, oh my god he's bragging and taking shot after shot

Takes so many photos of his win and rubs it in your face every time you make him mad

During your games he's not super loud

But oh my god, he is a KAREN

Always complaining to the ref about how what the other team was a foul or wasn't fair

He has genuinely held back a game by almost an hour just by arguing with the ref

Eventually you did get the point

One whole hour of his yapping,,, for 10 points...

If you ever get hurt from playing, he'll mock you but be worried of course

He'll stay in the hospital wing until you're all better

The nurses have to beg him to leave but all he does is pretend to leave but sneak in during night

He helps you heal and get better since he's been hurt a lot from quidditch

He's kinda like your own physical therapist

TOM RIDDLE

Never liked quidditch because of all of the assholes who play (like his brother)

Often gets teased by the team but it’s ironic

Because the coach has literally BEGGED Tom on their knees to play for the Slytherin house

He’s an amazing seeker, one of the best and way better than Draco

But he’d rather enjoy his own time and not have to deal with teammates, practices, award ceremony’s, etc

He did play in year 3, and he was INSANEE

Literally got the snitch within 4 minutes, the world record for Quidditch… done by some little 14 year old

But he quit after because he thought it was boring, plus Mattheo joined and he didn't want to be around his brother

But once he sees you playing, he sighs and realizes he's gonna have to turn into a soccer mom

Helps your prep for all of your games

Fills up your water bottle, packs your broom, brings deodorant and extra socks, and ofc a shit ton of snacks

He couldn't give less of a shit about coming to your games, but he decides to go to one and only one

But when he does, he gets so irritated with how everyone plays, especially you, so he decides to join the team again

The second he joins, he leaves everyone in the dust and instantly becomes captain as well as Seeker (Draco was pisssssseddddd)

Starts training everyone as if they're preparing for war

Pushes you way harder than all of the others

Although he's a player, he's basically the coach since even the coach isn't as good as him

Overtime, he sees improvement in you and he's proud but won't show it

He supports your sport but won't attend a majority of the games, only practices

Surprisingly, he's pretty nice to your teammates and ends up getting a small soft spot for them all

Brings your whole team water and snacks, but he says it's just cause it's cheaper to buy snacks in bulk

But regardless, if you win your match, he's happy for you and won't do anything special besides maybe give you a small kiss

But if you lose, he'll make sure that you learn from your mistakes and trains your team even harder

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Super conflicted between falling deeper in love or being protective and not allowing you to get hurt

He also plays and he’s a beater, he knows how harsh the players can get

Comes to all of your games and practices to make sure you never get hurt

Runs at full speed if he thinks you’re going to fall

But you always end up saving yourself

Whenever Slytherin goes against your house, he’s always a little bit more gentle on you

But he doesn’t hold back against your teammates

Everyone calls him a wimp for not wanting to hurt you, in retaliation he wacks the shit out of anyone who said that

Soooo embarrassing in the crowd for your games

“THAT’S MY GIRL!!!!”

Definitely goes crazy and buys air horns, party poppers, a megaphone, the whole soccer mom kit

He's one of the Weasleys' number one buyers, since he purchases all of their fireworks

100000000%% DEFINITELY AFFIRMATIVELY CONFIDENTLY, he yells at the ref whenever they fuck up anything

One time the speaker called a foul on you since you stole the opposing team beater's bat and started wacking the opposing team on the head with it

You were 1000% in the wrong. No point in defending yourself

But Mattheo slammed the speaker's head into their desk and removed the foul from your record

Even when a point is rightfully earned by the other team, Mattheo will start booing the ref and convince others to join him

When you win your match, he's super happy for you and gets you a nice filling dinner

But if you lose, he'll just say that the game was rigged and that he'll beat up anyone who mentions the loss

THEODORE NOTT

When you make the team, he’s super duper proud of you

But once he finally realizes that you’re going to be playing and getting hurt, he instantly takes it back

He asks if you’re sure you want to play 24/7

He also plays, he’s the Keeper for Slytherin and is pretty good

Whenever Slytherin goes against your house, he’s shitting bricks

Once the match starts, he avoids you at all cost to make sure he doesn’t hurt you

But when he sees Matt slam a ball into your broom, making you fall from the sky, he instantly rushes to you

He helps you get off your broom and put you on the floor and then continues the match

Everyoneeeeee was booing him but he didn’t give a shit

When he’s watching you play, he’s so annoying omg

Definitely a back-seater

“Why would you do that?!? No go left!!! Oh my god….”

It’s never towards you, but your teammates

After the game ends, he loudly shit talks your teammates even though they're right there

"Bruh number 10 was selling the whole match" while number 10 is already crying on a bench from feeling so guilty

If you win, it's endless praises and a small surprise for you in some shape or form

It might be a milkshake or boba after your game, a promise for a future date, or just a bunch of kissings

But if you lose, don't worry he won't ever blame you

Instead he bullies the shit out of your teammates until they almost cry or burst into tears

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Is on the Quidditch team too but he's a benched player :( He's not super duper good

But he's a back up Keeper for when the main guy gets sick or beaten too badly

So when you make it and you have an important role, he's amazed at how good you are

He does his best to support you and go to all of your games

He realizes that he might never be put on the field for his games, so he decides to quit and instead become a water boy

This makes your team reallyyy like him, and he gets popular with the girls on your team

So much so that it ends up distracting them, making them fuck up practice

So he quits being a water boy and lets Neville do it

He supports you at all of your games and gives you any tips he can since Slytherin is one of the top quidditch teams

Whenever you win, he's so proud you you!!!!

He takes you out to eat and celebrate

Whenever you lose, he shrugs it off and says that it was rigged anyways

Will get you a small gift anyways as a congrats for even playing

Always tells people that you're on the quidditch team to flex that you're cool

One day you get hurt from playing and he's so worried for you

But he calms down and waits all day till you're better

Always proud of you and encourages whatever you choose to do

[nhlclover]

bruised | arber xhekaj

word count: 0.88k

summary: arber gets bruised from a fight during a game, leaving you frantic for answers and reassurance.

warnings: mentions of blood, fighting, semi nsfw toward the end?

notes: repurposed and old + deleted fic so if it’s familiar that’s why :)

You paced around the kitchen, your phone tight in your grip. Yours and Arber's text messages open on the screen, your four consecutive texts going unanswered. The TV was now playing SportsCenter, the Habs game having ended about an hour ago.

As per usual, you spent your evening after work watching your boyfriend's hockey game. However, instead of watching a productive game including garnering an assist or a shot blocked, you watched his night come to an end earlier after he was skated off the ice following a fight at the end of the second period

Nothing much had provoked the fight, the previous period and a half being rather tame. However, after a couple of less-than-favourable games from the team as well as his time on ice being reduced, Arber’s frustrations had hit a boiling point.

Arber had laid a couple of hits but after being knocked down next to the boards, Arber charged after his attacker, cross-checking him from behind. The two of them exchanged a couple of jabs, with Arber’s opponent getting in a few more than he did resulting in a rare defeat, before they were separated by the officials. As he was skating off, the camera gave you a good look at his split brow and bruised face, blood leaking down his face and dripping onto his jersey.

You found that you stopped paying attention right at that moment, your focus solely on the wellbeing of your boyfriend. You’d seen him get in fights before but not once had you seen him get in a fight that resulted in such damage to his face. You sent a text a few minutes after watching the altercation, expecting him to reply a little later. When you didn’t get a reply, you sent another text, hoping the first one just got lost in other notifications. Normally, Arber would send you a text right after he gets out of a game, letting you know he’d be home shortly.

Almost an hour and a half after the game had ended, you heard the front door open. The sound of shoes shuffling against the hardwood in the hall echoes through the house, accompanied by the sound of his bag slumping to the floor. He finally comes around the corner, meeting you in the kitchen with a nervous expression on his face.

“Are you okay?” You ask, approaching him and examining the wound in his brow that has begun to cause his eye to swell. It’s been properly stitched up and cleaned by the medical staff.

He lets out a sigh of relief, hands settling on your waist. “I’m fine, y/n.” He says.

“Are you sure?” You ask him again.

“Yes, one hundred percent they-”

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you?!” You shout, slapping his chest.

“Ow, what the fuck?” He asks, dropping his hands from your waist and instead protecting himself.

You groan loudly, stepping away from him and pacing around the kitchen. “Why the fuck did you fight that guy?”

He sighs, pulling his beanie off and running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know…” He huffs. “I was pissed, I’m not doing jack shit when I’m on the ice. I didn’t know what else to do, I had to make an impact somehow.”

“Well, you can't just lose your temper like this every time you get upset!” You shout. “You know how stupid that was? You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“Y/n, I wouldn’t have gotten that badly hurt they wouldn’t-”

“I don’t give a shit, Arber!” You interrupt, your voice getting increasingly louder and your breath more ragged. “On top of that, you don’t even text me to say you’re okay!”

“Okay!” He stops you, coming over and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you in tight. He shushes you, attempting to soothe your ragged breaths. “I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you when I got out. It’s just… you know how stressful it's been… not putting up points and not getting any ice time. It's not helping me especially when I’m trying to stay up with the Habs.”

“I know,” You say softly, nodding against his chest. You stand in his arms, your temper coming down.

“I’m sorry, again.” He says.

“I know, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have been that upset.” You reply.

“No you had every right, I shouldn’t do stupid shit like that.” He says. You chuckle softly, leaning back and eyeing his wounds once more. You wince at them, knowing they’ll be much worse in the morning.

“I hope I didn’t piss you off too much,” Arber says. You give him a look and Arber can read it. However, Arber plays dumb. “What’s that look on your face?”

“You know. Don’t make me spell it out for you.” You say, running a hand through his hair.

“No, I don’t. I think the fight knocked out a few brain cells.” Arber said, feigning confusion.

You rolled your eyes, going up on your tip toes to bring your lips to his ear. “You know I want you.” You say in a whisper.

A smirk pulls on his lip. Arber bends down, picking you up, and throwing you over his shoulder. You squeal, feet kicking, as he walks down the hall to your bedroom.

[blorbocedes]

I agree with anon, Max is just has the “😄okay” vibe with his rivals. I don’t see him being a male manipulator because I genuinely don’t think he cares about them enough. We’ve seen Charles fuming a couple of times on the podium now and Max is just there “😄can I maxsplain some more” His whole “rivalry” with Daniel was him talking about how nice Daniel’s face is and that he’s hot. The only person that got slightly under his skin was Lewis, but he still went off on reporters to stop giving them crap about Silverstone. And he looks way too happy to talk to Lewis whenever they greet each other, to have any ill feelings against Lewis.

Nico talked about how Charles and Max’s relationship will be ruined towards the end of the championship battle, but I’m convinced it will be because of Charles and not because of Max.

Max’s angry/male manipulator era was 2017/2018 with things like the brazil crash with Esteban and colliding with Daniel. And even back then he buried the hatchet, although arguably the Esteban one held on for longer.

Charles has looked pretty upset on a couple of podiums now, but who went in hard during the Austria podium? Max. Even though he lost a home win for Red Bull he still celebrated quite a lot.

The times we saw Max crack last year was definitely Saudi and walking off the podium was definitely a low point, but because the pressure is off now, he’s won the championship, he’s said that everything he’s gone through is worth it because he got the championship. Max has also said everything after will be a bonus, he’s very flippant about breaking records and genuinely has just had fun this year. Even after Australia we didn’t see the aggression and frustration from last year.

And that’s why it’ll be Charles that cracks and not Max. Charles still has something to prove, he’s in his fourth year of driving for Ferrari. Ferrari is notoriously known for dropping drivers if they don’t win titles, and he KNOWS he needs to win the championship to stay in red. And currently it looks like they’ll lose second in the constructors and he’ll end up p3 in a championship worthy car. Charles is very much trapped in the honeymoon phase of Ferrari and has spoken about wanting to stay there for the entirety of his career, but that won’t happen when Max and Red Bull are pulling off 9 win streaks, record breaking win totals etc. And with Red Bull and Christian Horner all being willing to wage war for Max, Charles will inevitably grow envious of Max if he isn’t already. He has 6 years left on his contract, he’s not going anywhere. The golden boots and golden helmets are staying and they will end up haunting Charles.

Male manipulator Charles has something to prove while Max doesn’t. And Charles can’t prove his worth when Max is standing on the top step of the podium. That is why male manipulator Charles works

Sorry for the rant and I hope the word vomit makes sense

hahah you did not come to play today!!! I agree with if anyone will crack in lestappen its gonna be Charles, Max has everything he wants rn and fighting for P2 is hellish for someone as competitive that anything that isn't winning might as well be a loss

he definitely wants to go all the way with Ferrari cause like. It IS his best shot at a championship, and Ferrari has been vocal in choosing him -- the longest contract extension to anyone ever etc~ the more Max keeps winning the more the pressure boils... and ultimately drivers are replaceable to ferawri, even our il-predestinato... like I can't imagine ferawri doing a team wide media block to back their golden boy 

and ofc seconded on max being 🧍🏼‍♂️😀 about it all

thank you for pleading the case for male manipulator charles <3 compelling stuff, Ty for the scholarship

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Shanie's dream booking from here until Wrestlemania

.....

35 Bullet points below cut

In the following weeks Sami continues to be loved dearly by the Usos

Kevin gets involved with Roman and Sami stands against him

Kevin, meanwhile, continues to be supportive of Sami's success despite them not being friends anymore

Sami starts to show regrets, not for choosing the Bloodline, but that his decision cost him Kevin's friendship

Kevin gets booked in HIAC at Royal Rumble against Roman

The Usos are barred from interfering this time

When HIAC comes, Roman is ruthless... but won't make the pin.

He continues to brutalize Kevin until Sami comes to ringside

The Usos try to stop Sami from interfering but Sami gets in the ring anyway

This does not trigger a DQ because, by purely technical definition, Sami isn't an Uso.

Sami begs Roman to stop, using his body as a shield

Roman appears to walk away... only to turn and start brutalizing Sami

The Usos, still not able to get involved, beg him to stop from outside the cage.

Eventually, Roman stacks Sami on top of Kevin and pins them both with his foot for the win

The Uso enter the ring once Roman leaves (Walking past them disgusted) and are very concerned for Sami

Sami is officially ejected from the Bloodline, but the Usos are NOT happy about it. They stand with Sami on this and it causes massive tension in the family.

Kevin, meanwhile, returns after a couple shows and is not happy about anything that has happened.

He still doesn't trust Sami... but with them having a common enemy, they agree to work together.

Of course, this leads to Kevin going after the Usos... something that upsets SAMI.

Sami eventually demands (and receives) a title shot against Roman at Elimination Chamber

A stipulation is added that if Sami loses, neither he nor Kevin can go after Roman's belts again

This leads to a showdown between Sami (with Kevin) vs the Bloodline on the go home RAW

The Usos Choose Roman

The Usos choose Roman over Sami, and Sami and Kevin are left beaten in the ring by the entire, now united again Bloodline

The night before Elimination Chamber (In Montreal) Sami begs Kevin for forgiveness, siting twenty years of history and that he never really stopped loving him.

Kevin accepts Sami's apology, admitting that he never stopped loving Sami either, and they tearfully reunite in the ring

At Elimination Chamber, Roman beats Sami clean without help... also managing to take Kevin out as well (Kevin was at Ringside)

This bars Sami and Kevin from going after Roman any further

They respond by going after the Usos instead

A tag match is made for Wrestlemania

There is tension between the Usos. They both want to kick Kevin's ass but Jey (YES JEY) is having doubts about hurting Sami

Sami and Kevin, having fully mended their relationship, go into Wrestlemania stronger than ever

The strength of Sami and Kevin, combined with the hesitation of Jey to hurt Sami, gives the guys the edge they need to win the belts.

Sami and Kevin stand tall at Wrestlemania as the new Unified Tag Team Champions.

Roman loses his belts at Wrestlemania as well, effectively ending the Bloodline at last.

Bonus: Sami and Kevin kiss in celebration.

[shokami]

internalized panic.

pairing : sugawara koushi x reader

word count : 1.7k

warnings : panic attacks, social anxiety, social battery drained, minor hints of depression and self doubt.

authors note : this drabble is based off of my own experiences, and it’s a self indulgent piece for how i’ve been feeling the past couple of weeks. everyone’s experience with handling these issues and topics is different. if you’re struggling, please remember to take a step back and breathe. if it is not something you feel you cannot handle on your own, seek help where you can. your mental health is important.

it had only been a few weeks. you were a transfer student to karasuno, from a private school in the city. the topic of transferring had already upset you, considering you were in the final stretch of your third year. the idea of being ripped away from your life that you tried so hard to build, nearly broke you.

the students at karasuno were warm, and welcoming to you. eventually pulling you into their antics and friendship within just mere days. it wasn’t long before you were running off every day to volleyball practice, and enjoying the thrill of each game.

with your growing friendships, and the amount of people you had to see daily… it slowly started to become too much. in the past, you were used to seeing your few friends, going to class, and being a homebody with a book afterwards. nowadays, it felt overwhelming. things became a bit much when your thoughts started to falter and you began to hate the way you were playing. a receiver who couldn’t receive, how worthless. those were only the first thoughts that plagued you.

from there, it was downhill. once a growing crush on your fellow senior fully developed, you felt your skills on the court decline as if you were trying to impress him and failed. what was wrong with you?

the self doubt turned you ridged, and forced you into a hole of self pity and wallow when no one was the wiser to pay attention to you. when things couldn’t possibly make you ache more, the social battery ran low. you struggled to show up to practice, often skipping it with an excuse of having too much homework. you didn’t see it, but your whole team had begun to notice the subtle changes. maybe it was just homesickness, they had thought.

when other teams showed up at your school for practice matches, you shrunk back into a corner like a spooked animal that was wounded. suga had picked up on your uncomfortability on multiple occasions, putting himself between you and those on the opposing team; or coming up to you mid conversation, and tossing himself into it. he always shot you a knowing glance, and your cheeks would tint in color as you smiled thankfully.

it was that first moment you realized they could all pick up on your changes, and seek to protect you and not overwhelm you as much.

at first it was nice, until the realization made you feel weak and useless. had you really needed to be so shielded? were you that much of a burden?

now, you stood off to the sidelines during the middle of a practice game. coach ukai pulled you out, due to the fact that you had let multiple hits slip past you causing them to lose points. ukai had known too, and could tell you needed a break.

“hey, coach?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you approached him.

his eyes were focused on observing the team on the court, giving you a glance he replied, “ya, what’s up?”

“i’m going to call it quits for the day, is that alright? i need to get home… i’m not doing too well today anyways.”

“you feelin’ alright, y/n?” ukai looked at you now with a worried expression plastered on his face. “if you need to, go ahead. the team can make adjustments… take a breather when you need to, kid. alright?”

“yes sir. thank you.” you mumbled, averting your gaze as you quickly made your way out of the gym.

as soon as you made it into the locker rooms, your knees hit the ground with a choked out sob echoing amongst the walls. why were you like this? why was this building up more and more? you felt like a volcano ready to explode at any given moment. the suspension of the collapse was breaking you down.

everyone knows. everyone knows. everyone knows. everyone knows. everyone knows. everyone knows.

knows what?! you screamed to yourself.

everyone knows you’re weak.

a weak minded person, who couldn’t handle social interactions for too long. a bad teammate. a bad friend. a bad student. bad at everything… were you just doing this for attention? no one was around to see your melt down… how could it be for attention?

your mind circled in five hundred directions, and you couldn’t keep up. your heart rate gradually increased, and your palms felt clammy. why was this happening now? it couldn’t wait until you were home?

why? why? why? why!

leaning against the locker, you pulled your knees to your chest as you rocked back and forth. tears freely fell, and as they reach your cheek they burned. screwing your eyes shut, you willed yourself to stop crying. you ached for a moment of peace, long enough to pull yourself together and get home.

inhale.

exhale.

it wasn’t stopping. you hated this. every part of you wanted to be home, at your old school. you wanted to give up. your friends at karasuno didn’t deserve it, koushi didn’t deserve it… but you didn’t want to be here anymore, dealing with the pressure of volleyball, making and keeping new friends— it was too much for you. it felt like cracking at the seams, while a monster dug its claws at your skin fighting for a way out of the body it was trapped in.

inhale.

exhale.

inhale…

you held the breath, and stopped moving. focusing on clearing each individual thought out of your head. you’d rather not think of anything, instead of the horrid thoughts wedging their way into every organ and tearing it to shreds in a heap of panic.

too distracted with your mind, you never heard the door open. you didn’t hear the subtle footsteps slowly approaching. suga stopped in his tracks at the sight of you, and quickly shoved everyone else out of the room before they saw your broken state.

in seconds, he was approaching your shaken body on the floor. he said nothing, and dared not to touch you. he knew the sight of a panic attack when he saw it. in truth, he had been there many times. while noticing your decline in the past days, he yearned to comfort you in any way he could— but feared overstepping a boundary he couldn’t see.

sitting on the floor next to you, he sat silently and patiently waiting for your eyes to open or notice his presence. he hated seeing you like this, your once full of life personality had died down in a fragile state.

after a few moments, you slowly emerged from the inside of your head and felt someone beside you. peaking your eyes open, you turned your head to see sugawara sitting there beside you. you forced a sad smile through tears, and offered a wave.

“y/n…” suga spoke softly, not knowing how to phrase his words in a way that wouldn’t further upset you.

“i’m alright koushi, please don’t worry.” you mumbled, looking away from him quickly.

his hand reach out for yours, stopping mid air before retracting, “you aren’t… but you will be.”

“what?”

“in this moment… you’re not okay, which is perfectly alright—“ with enough courage his hands finally took yours in his gently. “but you you will be soon. these things take time to heal, and move past. sometimes it’s a long while, and sometimes they never completely heal; leaving behind scars that stick with you for life.”

you listen to him intently, the tears finally coming to a slow halt as you move closer to him and lean your head on his shoulder for comfort.

sugawara continued to speak, leaving the talking to himself so that you didn’t have to do much, “you don’t have to always force yourself to be in these crowded situations, i understand. the team understands, and so does ukai… it’s alright to take breaks, and breathers once and a while to take care of yourself.”

he knew that his words wouldn’t make you feel much better in this moment, and so did you. nothing magically gets better with these types of situations immediately, and they often take work and talks to people you’re close to. although the panic within you had begun to subside before he arrived, the emotions still hung around steadily.

you didn’t want to say it, but you could tell he understood somewhat of how you were feeling, despite knowing that it is different for each person. he would never know the exact overwhelmed feelings you dealt with, but he understood his own and how to lend a helping hand. the whole team did.

pressing a kiss to your temple, he rubbed circles into the back of your hand as the silence consumed you both. he allowed you time to pull yourself together, even if just for the time being- and you appreciated that the silence wasn’t awkward. it spread to your head as well; finally quieting the awful thoughts.

after what felt like hours, you nearly fell asleep in the locker room floor with him by your side making you feel significantly less alone. he slowly stood from his spot, holding out a hand to you.

“i’ll walk you home, is that okay?” he asked you, as you took his hand. your legs had hurt from sitting in the same position for too long. “i’ll stay with you for awhile longer, if you don’t want to be alone.”

you thought it over for a few seconds, slowly nodding your head in agreement, “i would like that a lot… i really appreciate you— and the whole team for being understanding with me.”

“of course, i may not understand your feelings well but i’ve had my own mental battles.” he intertwined his fingers with yours, leading you away.

with time, you would get better. this you knew, better than anyone else. time healed all wounds, despite the ugly scars it often left in its wake.

© All rights reserved by SHOKAMI. Do not modify, repost on any platforms, plagiarize, or claim as your own.

[fruitcoops]

Hi, I love your blog so much! I recently got ankle lateral ligament reconstruction done, and as an athlete, it sucks so bad. I watched my basketball team play yesterday, and it felt really horrible to watch them lose by one point in overtime when I know I would have made a difference if I were on the court... I know you have lots of asks and prompts, but if you have the time and want to, could you possibly hurt me more than I’m already hurting with some angsty ankle injury stuff😩 like maybe Cap watching the Lions lose without him.

Thank you for all the awesome fics you write! Your blog is amazing!

Anon, this ask really struck a chord with me and I wanted to do it justice as best I could--going through a sports injury like that is the worst feeling in the world, and watching your teammates play without you just adds salt to the wound. Sending all the love and healing vibes your way, okay? Please keep me updated on how you're feeling if you feel comfortable <3

Combined with an ask for pre-Coops and Sirius' photo of Remus! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove

TW for canonical injury and mentioned scars (Remus)

Sirius felt a nudge at his arm and his irritation flared, but he did not take his eyes off the game. “Fucking hell,” he muttered as James missed yet another blatant pass. There’s three.

The next nudge was more insistent.

“What?” he snapped, sparing half a glance to his left and feeling his stomach swoop.

Remus raised his eyebrows and held the mouthguard out further. “Either put this in or unclench your jaw.”

You’re not my mother, Sirius almost snarked back, just to be even more of an asshole. He was cold from being at the rink without his gear, severely pissed off by the general bullshit happening on the ice, and the itch in the boot locked around his stupid fucked-up ankle was slowly driving him mad.

Remus offered the mouthguard again, and Sirius’ temper cooled by a few degrees at the soft encouragement on his face. Pretty, his brain supplied. He swallowed hard around his sudden dry mouth and shoved the plastic between his teeth, beating back the unruly emotions with a mental baseball bat. Nope. Not tonight. Focus on being angry.

Logan got distracted, and Finn paid the price as an enforcer slammed him against the boards; he bounced back immediately, but Sirius ground the mouthguard so hard it squeaked. “Tabarnak—”

“Come with me for a sec,” Remus said, raising his voice just enough to be heard over the angry shouts of Lions fans.

Sirius shook his head. What he wouldn’t give to be in the heart of the fight, letting off some of the steam that had been building with no outlet for weeks. “Game’s not over.”

Remus pressed his lips together, but said nothing; Sirius’ throat constricted as he looked at the scoreboard. There may have been three full minutes left on the clock, but the Lions had already lost—unless they pulled a miracle out of their asses, this game would be a stain on their record. Or if they just let me play.

Sirius sighed through his nose. The urge had been growing stronger the longer he stayed cooped up and restless, banging at the walls of his brain and bringing headache after headache.

“Cap.” The hand on the back of his bicep was surprisingly gentle and he closed his eyes as Remus gave him a light tug. “Come on. We can at least be productive instead of sitting here and stewing.”

He smells nice. How does he always smell so nice? Sirius stood and followed Remus down the tunnel, not even bothering to force smiles for the people pounding on the glass partitions. Don’t focus on the game.

Focus on his shoulders, something close to his heart suggested. You like his shoulders.

He scrunched his nose up at the thought—if he dwelled on the smooth, strong curve of Remus’ upper back for any longer, he would start remembering the one time he saw them bare, covered in sweat with scars that shone like moonlight and—

“Are you okay?” Remus asked, snapping him back to reality. Sirius jumped and concern flickered over the golden planes of his face. “You’re twitchy tonight.”

“Just…” He made a vague, aborted motion toward the ice before continuing toward the PT room, though he did not miss the worried look Remus shot him. Fantastic, now I look like a dick and an idiot.

“What’s going on, Sirius?” The door clicked closed behind them and Remus leaned against it with his arms crossed loosely as Sirius limped over to the table and sat down, pulling the mouthguard out. He stared at the floor and the hunk of plastic—don’t think about how nice his voice sounds around your name. Don’t.

He shook his head; through the door, the sounds of the game were faint. “They’re better than this.”

“Yep.”

“They’re all going to be angry tomorrow, which makes them sloppy.”

“Probably.”

“Coach will be upset.”

“No question.”

“It’s the Badgers.”

Remus made a face. “I know, right?”

“They’re a good team, but—” He tightened his jaw again and looked away.

“But we’re better,” Remus finished for him.

“Yeah.” Silence fell between them for a few moments, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. Being quiet around Remus was never uncomfortable, and Sirius was pathetically grateful for every scrap of it he could get. “I—the game would be different if I was out there.”

“Would it?”

“It would.” He had been going over every mistake for two and a half hours, placing himself in like a chess piece to stop the missed passes, fumbled pucks, and thoughtless plays. “They need me with them.”

The paper crinkled as Remus sat down next to him, and every one of Sirius’ senses went on high alert. “They need to you get better,” he said simply, those caramel-apple eyes making Sirius’ knees go weak. “Have you been doing your exercises?”

“Of course,” he scoffed.

“Good.” There was no defensiveness or indignation in Remus’ voice—guilt snapped, a firecracker behind his teeth.

“Sorry.”

Remus smiled wryly. “When you’re around injured hockey players all day long, you get used to a little bit of bitchiness.”

“I’m not bitchy!” Sirius spluttered. The poorly-concealed amusement on Remus’ face made mortification heat his cheeks. “I’m not!”

“Uh-huh.” The note of smug disbelief should not have been as attractive as it was. “Alright, lay down.”

Sirius swore he heard a few crackling noises as his brain short-circuited. “Quoi?”

“I’m not kneeling on freezing linoleum to check out your ankle, Cinderella,” Remus snorted. “Now get a wiggle on.”

“You have the strangest sayings,” he said as he laid back and stretched his leg out, bewildered and yet somehow relieved.

“And you—” Remus pulled the top buckle free. “—have no appreciation for the great American north.”

“I can take it off,” Sirius mumbled, feeling redness rise once again.

He cocked an eyebrow. “The boot? I might not be a muscle-bound athlete, but I’m pretty sure I can manage a couple strips of Velcro.”

“No, it’s—doesn’t touching people’s feet freak you out? Like, the sweat and everything?”

“If it did, I’d have to find another profession, because I’m damp all the time from you fuckers and you all seem to have a habit of breaking things below the knee. Bend.”

Sirius complied, drawing his knee toward his chest. His bare foot looked weird in the bright lights, pale and still swollen, but Remus was as golden as ever. You can watch from afar, he conceded when the cute little furrow appeared on Remus’ forehead while he felt around the bone. Just for a little while. “Your hands are warm,” he said before he could stop himself.

Remus glanced up, and his small smile caused a flood of butterflies in Sirius’ stomach. “Thanks. They’re usually pretty cold, so I’m glad I’m not accidentally giving you foot hypothermia.”

“Is that real?”

“No,” Remus laughed. Sirius wished he could keep that sound forever. “How’s that feel?”

“Uh, fine.” He blinked a couple times to come back to himself as Remus put light pressure on the sole of his foot. “Still fine.”

“You’re a lot more flexible than before. Things are healing well.”

A loud buzzer went off outside—Sirius closed his eyes as disappointment and frustration fired up once more. The crowd wasn’t cheering. The windows weren’t shaking. He didn’t even want to look at the TV to check the score. I should be out there, he thought for the umpteenth time. I’m letting them down.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said quietly as he worked through a few more exercises.

“Not your fault.”

“It’s not yours, either.”

Sirius wanted to believe him. “I’m the captain.”

“And you’re being responsible by doing this with me so you can heal faster.” People rushed past the door outside, but the PT room remained peaceful. Sirius stared at the plain ceiling and wished for a miracle. “They miss you.”

“Y’know, that’s not exactly making me feel better.”

“Sorry.” They lapsed back into silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Cool.”

Sirius chewed the inside of his lip for a solid two minutes, following Remus’ simple instructions without looking at him. He should have been out there with them, ankle be damned. It was basically healed anyway; they were just tying up loose ends, and maybe Remus needed to be a little less careful. “Is this really necessary?”

“I’m gonna give you five seconds to ask a different question.”

“I’m just saying, it feels fine and—”

“Time’s up.” Remus let go of his foot and Sirius only spared a moment to mourn the loss of his comforting touch before he caught the stormy, mulish stubbornness that took the place of Remus’ concentration. “Sit.”

“I am.”

He narrowed his eyes, and Sirius dragged himself upright with a huff. Arguing with Remus Lupin was about as useful as arguing with a brick wall, and that was coming from someone who won the ‘Most Stubborn’ superlative at their last end-of-year party. “First of all, ankles are annoying and the soft tissue will still be damaged even if the bone is healed. Second, it’s my job to fix you up so your boys stop whining to me about healing you faster. And third, I’m not giving up on you.”

Sirius paused for a long moment. “What?”

“I’m not giving up,” Remus repeated. His jaw set and he made direct eye contact. “I would love nothing more than to kick Snape in the kneecaps and let you go out there as soon as you can stand on your own, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to make sure you’re ready to kick ass and take names no matter what that little shit was trying to do. So don’t you dare sit there and try to chicken out at the finish line, because I know you want this even more than I do.”

In his chest, Sirius heart was hammering like he had just run five miles. I’m not giving up on you. Sirius had never wanted to kiss him more. “Thank you.”

Remus softened with a slow breath. “We’re in this together, Sirius. You and me.”

“I know.”

“Then let’s get to work. Next time you play the Badgers, make ‘em regret this game.”

--------------------------------

Sirius walked back toward the locker room feeling rather nauseous. The whole team leaked their bad moods into the air—Arthur had barely looked at them before sending them home with a quiet “we’ll talk more tomorrow”, the equivalent of an arrow through Sirius’ heart. I need a pick-me-up, he thought as the rest of the guys trooped out in a melancholy raincloud. He fist-bumped each of them, per tradition, but their responses were weak at best.

Ice cream sounded good. Maybe a milkshake. Oh, who was he kidding, he needed a solid hug and something other than ice to look at. Not for the first time, he contemplated getting a dog, just so the house wouldn’t be empty and dark when he returned.

Laughter rang out ahead and Sirius inhaled sharply, letting the sound roll over him. “I’m not kidding!” Moody chuckled.

“Bullshit,” Remus countered, still snickering. “There is no way—”

“I’ve been around here longer than you’ve been alive, kid.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Remus groaned, though Sirius could hear the smile in his voice even from around the corner. “You only bring it up every goddamn day.”

“Brat.”

Sirius entered the room just in time to see Remus playfully knock the side of his foot against Moody’s; both were grinning. “Isn’t it past your bedtime, old man?”

Moody nodded to him. “Night, twelve.”

“A demain,” Sirius called, offering a slight smile as his eyes lingered on Remus. He was leaning back against the wall with stick tape in his hands—his hands, which never failed to make Sirius throw caution to the wind—and raised it in farewell. “See you, Loops. Thanks again.”

“No problem, Cap.”

He grabbed his duffel off the floor and slid his keys, wallet, and phone into his pockets as Moody and Remus resumed their conversation. He wondered how long they usually stuck around, and if they would oppose him staying—he wouldn’t interrupt, but being around people who weren’t going through the five stages of grief already felt nice.

An idea struck as Remus’ laugh raised goosebumps on his arms once again. With a careful glance over his shoulder, he slipped his phone out and snapped a picture before hurrying off toward his car. His breaths were shallow; that was such a creepy move, and surely one of them noticed—

No voices chased him. Nobody gave him strange looks. He waited until he was safely in the front seat of the car before unlocking his phone, and all the air in his lungs left in a rush.

The photo was perfect. It caught the lopsided tilt to Remus’ mouth, his slender-but-strong fingers, his long legs, the scrunch of his nose mid-laugh. Everything Sirius never let himself look at for long. He didn’t have much space left among the collection of paper memories on his dresser, but maybe if he put it in the back where nobody would see it unless they knew where to look…

He turned the car on. Later. He would print it out and deal with the taut rubber-band-ball of feelings later. Until then, he could settle for the imprint of Remus’ warmth taking away the pain in his ankle and the determination on his face as he promised to bring Sirius back from the personal hell he was living in. You and me, he had said, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to believe it.

[yandere-dark-cupid]

If you’re requests are open can I get a Yandere Zuko x fem reader where after the war he looks for his darling by making his guards track her down but without anyone knowing bc he doesn’t want ppl to think that he’s back into his old ways again and keeps her in the palace

Ok Angel 💜👌💜. If you want, I could continue this as a mini part to part scenario series if I have the time T.Angel. There is just so many ideas worming around this concept and just think of the crazy things the darling and Zuko is going to go through, while also keeping both of their identities on the veeery low-key. Just let me know Angel 😊☕💜.

Also everyone is going to be aged up to 18+ Btw.

Side note: For the sake of this scenario, the darling will be from the Southern Water tribe. If this Angel decides to let me continue this as a mini scenario series, then the both of us are going to talk about if the darling can be a Waterbender or not.

Warning ⚠!!!: Their is going to be some slight Nsfw in this.

Yandere Zuko: A Dragon's treasure

Five weeks. It has been five weeks since you've went missing. Once the war has ended, Zuko was planning to propose to you. But every since his coronation of being crowned the new FireLord, you just up and vanished. It was like you were never there in the first place. And Zuko has been scattering everywhere in the palace and Fire nation to find you or some type of clue. But nothing. There was nothing there. You really covered your tracks, didn't you?

Right now Zuko was in his thrown room. He was fuming- No steaming with rage. If anyone were to walk in to the room, they'll notice it was boiling in there. He tried to look everywhere in the palace. Even outside the palace. But to no avail. Zuko couldn't find you. You've made it clear that you don't want to be with him or any where near him with this type of stunt you've pulled.

Zuko took a seat on his thrown. His hands was on his head, just about ready to pull his hair out and shout in frustration. But then a knock on the door stop him. " *Frustrated sigh* State your name and your business." Zuko said with spite and a hint of venom in his voice. The person behind the door flinched at his tone of voice. "It's me Sir. The guard you put in charge of the search party for Ms.Y/N". Zuko perked up at the mention of his missing lover's name. " Come in. " said Zuko. With out a second thought, the guard entered the room. She bowed down in respect for her FireLord.

" FireLord Zuko I have an update about Ms.Y/N's whereabouts. " Said the guard. She almost stuttered. The guard noticed how extremely hot it was in the thrown room. It was a clear sign that FireLord Zuko was pissed out of his mind. " Well, " Zuko said in annoyance and anger. Zuko was beyond angry at this point. He was a whole entire cluster fuck of emotions right now. " M-me and m-my crew found some people who could be connected to Ms.Y/N's disappearance , your majesty. " Stuttered the guard in slight fear. Zuko quirked up an eyebrow at what the guard said.

Ah. So the guard managed to find the ones responsible for his darling's vanishment, or at least had some part in it. " Bring them in. " Zuko said. The guard only merely nodded, not wanting to meet the FireLord's intimidating gaze. The guard got off their knees and went to call the other guards, to bring out the people that played some part of the darling going missing. The other guards quickly brought out four other people. Those people was tied up, bounded, and blind folded. The people was visibly quivering in fear. They were very confused and scared on what they did to upset the FireLord.

The four guards forcefully pushed the four people down to the floor. Each guard took off each person's blind fold. In front of the four people, there sat the FireLord in all his glory. FireLord Zuko glared down at the 4 people in a burning gaze. So these disgusting pathetic excuses of human was responsible for his darling going missing. Zuko scoffed at the thought. After a painful intimidating stare down, Zuko finally spoke. " So your the ones held responsible for Y/N's disappearance. " Zuko spat out to them with his voice dipped in poison.

" I-if y-you're talking about a someone that has (h/c), (e/c), and (s/c) then t-they came to m-my store to buy clothes." The woman stuttered in fear. Zuko stayed quite and only listened. " If you're talking about the same person; they came to my food stand and brought some food. " the old man said quickly in fear of what the FireLord would do to him if he took so long to explain himself. Zuko only merely quirks his eyebrow. " Y-yeah, that same person came to my Shop and bought some bags and extra equipment as his they were going on a trip. " The man said while sweating nervously. " The same person came to shack a-and brought some w-weapons. " Said the short lady in fear. Zuko only hmmed at what they said.

" So you're telling me the lady you just described went to all of your stores and shops to buy something. " Zuko said still glaring down the four people. " Y-yes. " the woman squeaked in fear. The old man only nodded quickly. " Mhm. " both the man and woman said. Zuko got up from his thrown and began to walk down to his stand. " What should we do with them you highness? " Said one of the guards. " Bring them to the dungeon. I will decide what to do with them later. " Said Zuko. " I-I don't understand what did we do wrong. " Stuttered the woman in fear and nervousness. Zuko quickly turned to the woman, the woman quickly shuts her mouth. Zuko then begins to slowly walk towards her.

Zuko shot one of his hands out and grasps the woman's face in a painful grip. The woman squeaks in surprise and fear. Zuko just merely just glares down at her. His eyes is filled with a flaming rage. " You all are held responsible for the disappearance of Y/N, " Zuko spat out in anger. Zuko releases his hand from woman's face. Zuko steps away from the woman and is now in front of the four bounded people. " Since you all play a part in my- err Y/N's disappearance, you all will be punished accordingly. " The four people only shook even more at FireLord Zuko's statement. " All of you take them away were they'll never see the light of day again. " Zuko said with venom dripping from his voice.

The four guards only bowed and said a quick " yes sir ". With that they took the four people away. Now Zuko was once again left in his thrown room...... alone.

Zuko let out a sigh of frustration out. He walked towards a window that was in the room. He stared down at his people, he was thinking about something. Based on what the four people said, Zuko can conclude that his darling is no longer in the Fire nation. Zuko dug into his pocket and took out something. It was a necklace. A betrothed necklace to be more specific. You see his darling was not from the fire nation, no no no. You were from a Water tribe, the Southern Water tribe to put it. While Zuko was on his trip to help Aang defeat his father and help him master firebending, Zuko found out from Katara on what her necklace means. He found out that from the Water tribe in order to marry someone, you have to make a betrothed necklace and give it to that special someone. When Zuko found out about this type of information, he instantly got rapped up about it. Ever since he's joined team Avatar he was thinking about what life would be like when he becomes FireLord, then his thoughts were drawn into marriage. He can't help but think, his darling would make the perfect FireLady. His FireLady.

And they'll have children. They'll be lovely children. With his darling swelled up with another one of his heirs all while holding another one of their children. It'll truly be a.. delicious sight to see ~ Zuko hmmed in delight at the thought of his darling bearing his children. But... that's if he witness such a darling sight. Zuko groaned at his mood being dampened and soured. But he knows it's true. Zuko knows if he doesn't act fast, he'll lose his darling. And that lovely little scene that played in his mind, will be nothing but a mere fantasy. Besides, he doesn't want to get himself accidentally sexual frustrated.....

With that aside, Zuko begins to start planning and strategizing. Zuko walks away from the window. He calls a servant, he orders them to get one of his best generals. The servant was slightly hesitant and confused, but never the less terrified. Wasn't the war over? They pushed their question aside, because they know now wouldn't be the best time to question the FireLord. He hasn't been acting himself lately and has been been flaring up at anything these past few weeks. With out much of a second thought, they did as they were told and went to see if someone could get one of the generals FireLord Zuko was talking about.

Zuko on the other hand, went back to sit on his thrown. He knew it will take time for the general to get here, so he decided to sit and be patient for him to get here. All while doing this, Zuko began to plan out in his mind on how he was going to get his darling. He was thinking about getting some of the Fire nation's best spies to help track down his darling. Sending out a whole search team and alerting the public while cause some type of panic. Not only that but he's trying to show that He and the Fire nation has turned over a new leaf, that and he doesn't want people and the other members of team Avatar know he's basically going back to his old ways. Since everybody knows the history on how he went to the ends of the earth to find and Capture the Avatar, and he's basically doing the same for his darling. It'll put a bad name on him and an even worse name on the Fire nation. So he'll lay as low as possible and keep shush shush about it, so he doesn't rise suspicion and ruin all the hard work he's been putting in the past time he's became FireLord.

With all those thoughts in mind, Zuko decides to call the same servant from before. So he can see if his message has been delivered. The Servant said they already sent a messaging hawk out to see if they can reach the general. Zuko only hmmed and dismissed them, and told them to report back to him once the massage has been delivered. With that the servant left, leaving Zuko in his thrown room. Zuko dug into his pocket again. He took out the Betrothed necklace out. He gently creased and rubbed the engraving and creases. He took so many hours and very much effort into making this for his darling. Looking at it always made him feel calmer, it made him happy knowing that his darling will be wearing it soon. But then his darling ran away from him before he can give it to them. Zuko pushed down on the purple garnet at the thought of his darling running away from him ( the rest of the necklace's gems are made up of smaller bits of Rudy and sapphire ). Zuko let out another sigh of frustration. He began to think. Once is darling is back with him he's never letting them go...........

My God, this was a boom ass idea. Not only that, but an idea of Zuko having a bit of a breeding kink has been floating around in my mind for some time now. I had a lot of fun with this. Like I said before T.Angel, If you want me to make a mini scenarios series about this let me know 😆! Well I hope you enjoy it. Until next time my Little Tainted Angels, see you soon ~💜❤💜

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || 14

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime is easy. your feelings aren’t ignored, either. after finally telling him the truth, there’s a lot of tension in the air.

warnings: f!reader

wc: 2k

m.list | ch. 13 ↞ ch. 14 ↠ ch. 15

Try as you might, you just couldn’t pay attention to your lecture.

The lecturer droned on in the archetypal slow drawl, slowly clicking through their powerpoint for each new point. Thank God they had the decency to upload the PDF after the lecture – you’d just take all the important notes from that.

Getting back to some sense of normalcy, back to the thrum of everyday life, was supposed to take your mind off things. But it didn’t. Tooru, Hajime, the whole damn mess – it still wavered in the back of your mind, flickering in and out of conscious thought.

It was almost impossible to ignore.

“Give him time,” Iwaizumi had said, exhausted. “It’s up to him now.”

He was right. You knew that. But it didn’t make you feel any better.

Your phone buzzed in your lap. Frowning, you looked down and turned the screen upwards.

Everything stopped. Your eyes shot wide, your heart beating erratically to the tempo of the ringing.

You gathered your things up in an instant and fled from the lecture hall as unobtrusively as possible, hands trembling as you jabbed at the ‘answer call’ icon.

The girls’ bathroom seemed to be empty as you rushed through the doors and sought out the closest cubicle. You held the phone up to your ear as you sat down on the toilet lid, breathless.

“Hello?”

A silence answered you. Had you been too late? Just missed it? Would it be amiss to call back immed—

“Hey.” Tooru’s voice was tight, sharp, unfamiliar.

“Hey,” you echoed, a queasy uneasiness settling in your stomach. Why was he calling you now? Why hadn’t he warned you?

You hadn’t been given any time to prepare.

Maybe he’d done that on purpose. Maybe he was trying to catch you off-guard.

“Did you… did you want to talk?” You asked.

Some part of you still wanted to fight, to get all scrappy and shout again. You didn’t want to grovel, to beg him for forgiveness, to rebuke anything you’d said prior.

But you didn’t want to throw this all away, either. He’s still your brother; even if he’s a brat, even if he’s selfish, even if he’s inconsiderate.

“Yeah,” he swallowed.

You bit the inside of your cheek, totally at a loss of what to say next.

God, this was so awkward. You’d never had this much trouble talking to your brother before. Well, trouble, maybe, but discomfort… It’s almost worse than the anger. At least there’s something to say during the fire. There’s just ash in the aftermath.

“I just…” Tooru sighed. You could visualise him gripping his hair with frustration, or touching his forehead with the tips of his fingers. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Ah.

That was the question, wasn’t it?

If you’d just said something all those years ago, maybe you could’ve avoided this entire debacle. But how were you supposed to know? You didn’t know anything when you were in high school.

You hadn’t known that you’d be sitting in your university’s bathroom, halfway across the world from home, feeling like you were about to spew your guts out because the thought of talking to your brother terrified you so damn much.

The only time you’d ever been scared of Tooru was when Hajime was involved. But scared of what?  

“I… I thought you’d be mad,” you mumbled.

It sounded silly now. Scared of Tooru? Scared of your own damn brother? Pathetic.

But you weren’t the only one.

“And Iwaizumi, he…” It was all a blur, but you could remember one thing. The fear of disapproval.

Iwaizumi had been terrified that Tooru would disapprove. Worst of all, he’d been afraid that Tooru would misunderstand it all.

“He told me that one of the other guys on the team asked about me,” you said quietly, “and that you got really mad.”

Tooru laughed. “What, he thought I’d disapprove of him just because I didn’t want Yahaba getting anywhere near my sister?”

“I heard you got pretty mad,” you mumbled. In truth, you were still kind of pissed about that. Tooru had no say in who you did and didn’t date – much less who had a right to a relationship with you.

Although, you felt you’d made that much clear the last time you’d spoken to him.

“And let me guess,” Tooru sighed after a long moment, “Iwaizumi didn’t want to create a big mess and pit us against each other and break a bunch of hearts.”

“Mhm,” you nodded slowly.

“Sounds about right…” Tooru grumbled.

“He also was worried that you’d think…” You swallowed roughly, the words sticking to your throat. “That you’d think he was messing around with me.”

It was the worst thing he’d said. The implication that he wasn’t serious, that it was all a game to him; of everything he’d said that awful day, that’d hurt the most.

“Messing around with you?” Tooru scoffed. “Like he’s the type of guy to do that…”

There was comfort in hearing those words. But they have a different pallor from the last time you’d spoken with him; had Hajime’s words moved him so much? What had been said between them? You hadn’t asked out of fear, but maybe you should’ve…

“You sounded pretty angry the other day,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, but…”

There was still a terseness in his voice, an edge that he couldn’t soften.

He was trying. Hard. He wasn’t hiding how he felt, but he was… containing it. Was he coddling you?

No. No, he was trying to be reasonable. You couldn’t fault him for that, at least.

“Look… I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not mad,” Tooru sighed.

Your gut twisted, your instincts screaming at you to hang up, to avoid Tooru for the rest of time, to do anything you could to avoid that anger. You’d faced it once; you never wanted to face it again.

But Tooru didn’t raise his voice. If he really was still mad, he was stymieing it gently, keeping it contained.

“I just…” His words were quiet, barely audible. “I just want to understand what went wrong.”

Your thoughts skidded to a halt. “What went wrong?”

That’s… a big question. A really big question. One with all sorts of caveats, countless nooks and crannies to fall into and get lost in. Hell, you weren’t even sure if the two of you had the same interpretation of that question.

“Well… neither of you told me, right? But from the sounds of it, you got pretty hurt.”

That felt like an understatement. But what would Tooru know? What could Tooru know?

“I… I don’t know, Tooru,” you sighed. You were no longer the kid you were back then. “Hajime made the decisions but I… I just went along with it. I didn’t… advocate for myself, I guess.”

You couldn’t blame yourself for that. There you were, infatuated with your older brother’s friend, and terrified of making a mess.

And that’d been considerate of you. There was no reason to be upset with yourself for thinking about others.

But you’d forgotten yourself, letting your own feelings get shoved aside for a ‘maybe’. ‘Maybe’ you’d break up. ‘Maybe’ Tooru would be mad. ‘Maybe’ it’d cause a mess. How were you supposed to live your life protecting other people from possibilities, from problems that hadn’t even taken root?

A ‘maybe’ meant you could prepare. Meant you could make promises, make vows, make sure that the outcome wouldn’t be as bad as any of you feared. As much as you could.

“I think Iwaizumi was more scared than I was,” you admitted.

Perhaps it’s not your secret to tell; frankly, you don’t really know if it’s true. But you knew Iwaizumi, and you knew his heart.

You hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but it felt like the truth. Maybe he’d had more to lose than you. Maybe he was worried that his relationship with Tooru would never recover. You had the safety net of being a family member; someone he’d have to forgive one day, even if the mere act of dating his friend seemed like an insurmountable transgression to him.

Iwaizumi didn’t have that security.

Tooru was quiet for a long moment before sighing. “What, did he feel like he was betraying me or something?”

Your stomach twisted at his choice of words.

“Not… not that I ‘own’ you,” he mumbled, as though tripping over what he just said. “But, you know… teenage brains and all that. They’re not exactly reasonable.”

You bit your lip, frowning. “I mean, I can’t be sure… You’d have to ask him about that.”

“Right…” Tooru sighed for what felt like the thousandth time this conversation. Well, at least he wasn’t shouting.

“Can I ask you a question?” Tooru asked, surprisingly apprehensive.

“Sure.”

“Did you ever hate me for it?’

The question shot through you with a jolt.

The unfortunate truth was yes. In a way, you had. It was hard not to feel some kind of bitterness towards him – for being so bright, for being so ambitious. And of course, for what happened with Iwaizumi. It felt like you’d lived half your life in a shadow, unable to distinguish yourself as anything other than ‘Tooru’s younger sister.’

But there was no way to say that. Not when it’s complicated. Not when it’s your brother.

“Nevermind,” Tooru said, clearing his throat. “Look, just… keep me in the loop from now on, okay?”

You grimaced. “You want to know all the details?”

“Of course not!” He damn near shrieked. “Just… you know. If you break up, or if you get engaged… stuff like that.”

Your face flushed hot. “Tooru—”

“Okay, that’s all!” He hummed. “See you later!”

“Wait, Toor—”

The phone buzzed against your ear, a sure sign that Tooru had taken his leave. You sighed, letting all the tension that’d gathered in your chest dissipate in your breath.

That was… weird.

But not unwelcome. Not unwelcome at all. Everything was uncertain; maybe Tooru would change his mind. Maybe he’d decide that, actually, he hated the idea of this and he’d disown you if you kept dating Iwaizumi.

But right then, sitting in your tiny university cubicle, you realised something.

It was all in your hands, now. You could choose the way forward.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Hajime!” You called as you rushed through your front door, bag in tow.

“Yeah?” He was standing in the kitchen, clad only in a pair of grey sweatpants as he unpacked the dishwasher.

You didn’t even take the time to marvel at the sight. The only thing on your mind was rushing towards him and throwing your arms around his neck.

“Everything okay?” He chuckled, placing a firm hand on your back.

“Mhm,” you hummed into his neck, revelling in his warmth. He was always so warm; your own man-sized furnace. Did his sheer amount of muscle mass have something to do with that?

“You’re back early,” he said after a moment.

“Oh, yeah,” you grinned, tilting your head back to look at him. “I left my lecture early.”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at you.

“It’s fine,” you giggled, “I’ll just watch it later.”

Iwaizumi sighed, tutting under his breath as he leant in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. You knew he didn’t have the heart to actually scold you; not when your arms were wrapped around him.

You hummed into the kiss, slipping one of your hands into his hair.

It was nice, being with him like this. There was nothing to worry about anymore; you didn’t need to hide this. You didn’t need to push your feelings to the side and hope you’d just get over them. Finally, finally, it was okay to feel this way. To bare your heart without any shame.

It was one thing to stand up for yourself, to assert your right to do what you wanted.

But knowing that the one thing that’d always been holding you back, that’d taken your feelings hostage for God knew how long…

Everything just felt lighter.

[nightwishesworld]

Hello! I love your writing and if you do take request, might I ask for a family night (including Heisenberg) playing Monopoly please? (OC is already in a loving relationship with Alcina and the girls love her)

Oh boy anon, this was by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever written. It’s not my best cause I know zero about the game so I had to try and work around it. Hope you enjoy anyway!

It's that time of the week again in the Dimitrescu castle. The most sacred and anticipated time of the week; not hunting, not harvesting, not even wine tasting... it's game night.

As soon as the sun sets the girls swarm in the drawing room to ready the space for the night's antics. Daniela digs out the game while Sorine opens all the curtains, letting the warm light of the moon shine through, and Victoria lights the fire and torches. It became a ritual not long after you moved into the castle. The girls often confided in you how they wished to spend more quality time with their mother on more than one occasion. Hunting maidens and harvesting their blood was fun, but they've been doing that forever! It was no longer as thrilling as it once was, not it felt more like a chore that needed to be done. And you can't count how many times Alcina admitted to feeling guilty about not giving her daughters more of her time. So when you pitched the idea of a routine game night, you got very little pushback.

The only one who hesitated was Daniela, and only because she insisted on inviting Uncle Heisenberg, which was totally fine. You get along rather well with the werewolf and enjoy his visits. Getting in touch with him was rather difficult though. Most of his visits were spontaneous reasons to see his favorite nieces, while the other few were strictly business-related held by Alcina. It took her some time to locate her brother, but it also gave you some time to make your way back down to your old home in the village to gather your collection of board games and puzzles. Some were missing a few pieces or cards, but they would have to do for now. Worst case scenario you just buy new ones.

When Alcina finally got ahold of Heisenberg he eagerly accepted and promised to start making his way back to the castle; the girls were thrilled. After all, it wouldn't be proper family bonding time without good ol' Uncle Heis.

In the beginning, it was decided that everyone took turns deciding what game they were going to play. The cycle started with you of course, since the whole thing was your idea, then went from oldest to youngest. Everyone had a blast playing against each other and laughing at one another. You can't remember a time you'd seen Alcina laugh so hard, she was almost brought to tears. Everything was just peachy until Victoria, ever the mischief-maker decided you should play Monopoly. The poor Dimitrescu's had no idea what brand of hellish gameplay awaited them. Only an hour and a half in and Daniela had successfully bankrupt her own mother. The proud look plastered on the girl's face would have been more amusing if it weren't for Alcina losing her temper. That was the one time you couldn't wait for the night to end, and hopefully, never play it again.

Much later that night in bed with Alcina curled up on your chest you woke with a chill running down your spine. It's Daniela's turn to pick the game.

Which is how you ended up lounging on your favorite chair by the fire watching Daniela and Heisenberg setting up the board and organizing the money. Again.

Alcina is sat on the floor next to you leaning comfortably against your chair sipping her third glass of wine. "Why are we doing this again?"

You give her a sympathetic smile. "You know why, dearest, it's game night."

She only rolls her eyes at you. "You know what I mean, draga mea. Why monopoly?"

"It was Dani's turn to chose the game. It'll be fun, don't worry Al."

"Yeah Mother," Victoria giggles. "What's wrong with monopoly?"

"You mean other than how overly competitive and childish you all become?"

You were about to open your mouth when Heisenberg started to laugh. "You say 'you all' as if you aren't just as bad."

Alcina chose to ignore him in favor of her wine.

"Ah! Mother's just upset cause she knows I'm gonna make her go bankrupt again," Daniela smiled as her sisters snickered. "I forget, what did you say you were going to do to me, Mother?"

This caused the chorus of giggles to erupt into laughter. "She said she was going to disown you!" Sorine choked out.

"Forging an alliance against your mother is just plain rude! And you-" she points to Heisenberg, "you stole my companion!"

Laughter erupted in the drawing room. You leaned against Alcina's arm as you lost the ability to breathe. "I did not steal them," Heisenberg handed you both your starting $1500. "I was in a financial bind and y/n was willing to make a deal."

"And just like that our alliance was born." You lean forward and fist-bumped the werewolf. "Let's let Al join us tonight, Heis, now we'll be even against the girls."

He ponders for a moment before noticing his sister's golden eyes burning into him and hastily shakes her hand. "Welcome to the team, sis."

Alcina sighed and accepted his hand in a near bone-crushing grip. You tried not to notice the man wincing. "About damn time."

You shot Alcina finger guns with a wink and "pew pew" and she full-heartedly laughs. "What on Hell's earth was that?"

"A dumb human thing, don't worry about it."

"Horray!" Daniela grinned. "Now Mother has a fighting chance."

"Now girls," you chided. "Let's try to keep this friendly tonight, ok? As funny as it was, and it was," Alcina glares at you from behind her wine glass. "We're going to let it go now. No more ganging up on your mother."

The girls gave an innocent smile, "of course y/n."

"Wouldn't dream of it, y/n."

"Cross my heart hope to die!"

Wait, aren't they already dead?  You shook your head. Doesn't matter.

"Are we using the same pieces as last time?"

"Might as well," you saw before Daniela can get a word out. "We were all happy with our tokens last time, yes?"

Daniela huffed and crossed her arms. "I want to be the dog!"

"Aw come on, Dani," Sorine says. "I think it's only fair Uncle Heis gets to be the dog."

"Since, ya know, he is a dog," Victoria smirks.

To say the atmosphere of the room was intense would be an understatement. But, you couldn't be entirely unhappy with the course of events either since your alliance was winning. Victoria is bankrupt and Daniela has been sitting in jail for the past three turns. Alcina refuses to sell her Get out of Jail Free card. Oh, how the tables have turned. Daniela, much like her dearest mother, is far too stubborn for her own good. She refuses to pay Heisenberg the $50 to get out of jail and Alcina simply refuses to bail her out. Petty revenge, but entertaining nonetheless. It's after midnight now and you're finding it difficult not to doze off against the vampire's arm. Heisenberg is awake pacing around the room as he lost interest in the stalemate already. He was nice enough to take his heavy boots off so he wouldn't disturb Sorine and Victoria's slumber. His repetitive pace was starting to lull you to sleep. You allow yourself to close your eyes for a minute, listening to Alcina's breathing and Heisenberg's hushed stomping circling around you.

The fire was reduced to crackling embers and you were left shivering under Heisenberg's coat. Out of desperation, you kiss the top of Alcina's gloved hand. "Nu putem termina în dimineața? Hai să mergem la culcare." You know she loves it when you talk in Romanian to her. Hopefully, it will give you the advantage you need to end this ridiculousness.

"I've got her cornered, y/n. A little while longer and she'll crack."

Daniela only squinted her eyes and hissed.

You were about to give up and let yourself fall asleep on Alcina when Heisenberg came stomping over, pure anger painted on his face, and kicked the coffee table over. Sorine and Victoria were startled awake by the crashing sound and snowfall of cards. It was honestly the most magical thing that happened all night. He shouted something along the lines of "Go to bed!" but you couldn't make it out over Daniela and Alcina's screams. They pay you little mind as they chase Heisenberg out of the room and down the corridor, the sounds of vases and antique decor crashing following them as they go.

Sorine stands over you looking at you through bleary eyes, extending her hand to help you up. "Bed?"

A lion's yawn overcomes you and you smile. "Bed."

[datleggy]

Albert Plots aka coda to 4x02

One of Bucks house rules is: don't barge into my room unannounced.

It only becomes a house rule, of course, after Albert inadvertently interrupts his therapy session as he's mid sentence. 

"Oh crap, sorry sorry, I didn't realize--I mean, I thought--sorry." Albert finishes lamely, cringing at his own intrusion.

Buck practically chucks his tablet across his bed, face down, in his surprise. “Dude, knock.” 

Albert shrugs, grimacing apologetically. “You don’t have a door though?” 

Buck sighs, running a hand through his hair nervously. “Just...announce yourself next time, ok? Like, yell ‘I’m coming up’ or whatever.” 

Albert nods. “Sorry.” he mutters again. 

Buck decides the kid looks contrite enough that he can brush the whole thing off--it’s not like he overheard anything. “It’s ok, don’t worry, we’re good. What’s up? You needed something?” 

“I wanted to see if you wanted to order pizza but um,” Chimneys little brother pauses and scratches the back of his head. “Are you ok?” 

Buck gulps. “Uh, yeah, I--why wouldn’t I be?” Well shit, Buck thinks, maybe he did overhear a tidbit or two, after all... 

“Well,” Albert purses his lips to one side. “What you said just now, about hiding your feelings? Sorry, I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop--I was hungry and didn’t think before running up here. But um, listen, if you ever need an ear or a shoulder,” he shrugs delicately. “You’ve been there for me before a few times now. I like to think we’re good friends, so I want you to know you can always count on me to be there if you need someone. That’s all.” 

Buck would be touched if he weren’t also kind of mortified over having been caught spilling his guts to Dr. Copeland. Albert must see that, because he immediately moves to change the subject. “So, pizza?” 

“Yup,” Buck clears his throat. “Sal’s is the best joint in the area, their menu’s on the fridge, call and order whatever you want. I’ll umm, I’ll join you in a little bit.” 

"Ok." Albert scurries off quickly enough and Buck feels a little bad for not being more reassuring that he's not upset with him. But it's hard; being vulnerable, that is.

********

An hour later dinner is silent and just a tiny bit awkward between the two men.

It's only after a couple of beers that Buck loosens up enough to blurt out, "I'm in love with Eddie."

Albert blinks up at him in surprise. "Oh shit." His face breaks out into a happy grin. "Dude, that's awesome! I always thought you two would be good together. Actually, I gotta admit, I thought you two were dating when we first met at that bar. So it makes sense." Albert's voice trails off upon realizing how red Buck's face has gone. "Wait, did you not--you know? Know?" Albert's eyes grow wide.

Buck shrugs. "I kinda always knew? But I mean, the Eddie thing is..." He groans, "How am I supposed to tell my best friend I'm in love with him? It would ruin everything."

Albert shakes his head adamantly. "No way man, you said it yourself, Eddie's your best friend, your feelings for him wouldn't 'ruin' anything. Even if by some crazy chance he doesn't feel the same way it's not like he'd stop being friends with you."

Buck rubs a hand up his shoulder and bites on his bottom lip. "But what if that's exactly what happens? I don't wanna hide my feelings anymore, from anyone, but I don't think I can take that risk--it's too big, I could lose too much."

Albert has seen the way Eddie looks at Buck when he thinks no one is else is paying attention. “Look man, I’m not exactly the observant type--Howie can tell you that--but even I can see Eddie’s heart eyes when he’s looking in your direction.” 

Buck groans, hiding his face in his hands. “I just don’t wanna mess up what we have.” he looks up, his expression sullen. “We’ve got a good thing going.” he shrugs. “If I confess my feelings there’s a chance--” he sighs, hanging his head. “I can’t do it.” 

Albert reaches over and squeezes his shoulder in support. Suddenly an idea strikes him. “Hey,” he jumps up. “What if I could prove to you that Eddie’s just as into you as you are, into him? Would you say something then?” 

Buck lifts his head to look Albert in the eye, “How would you go about doing that?” 

Albert waves him off. “You don’t gotta worry about that part. Just trust me.” 

Buck raises a brow, dubious. “Ok, but you need to promise you won’t say anything about my feelings to Eddie--or to anyone, for that matter. Not even Chimney can know.” 

“I swear, not a word!” 

*********

Albert strikes over the weekend, during a friendly game of basketball with the 118. Albert had originally only been intending to play one on one with Chim, like usual, but had convinced him to invite everyone at the station, too, last minute. 

“Buck’s on my team!” Albert declares, before anyone can even truly get settled. 

Chim glares at Albert. “Oh yeah, call dibs on our tallest guy.” 

Albert shrugs, throwing an arm around Buck and pulling him close. “And let’s not forget the most handsome.” he winks at Buck with the subtlety of a fire engine racing across town. 

Chim raises a questioning brow at his brother but otherwise doesn’t comment. “Uh huh. Anyway, then I want Eddie on my team.” 

Eddie steps up beside Chim, giving Buck a look. “Ready to get your ass handed to you?” 

Buck scoffs. “I have the power of youth on my side, thanks.” he says, pointing to Albert. 

Bobby clears his throat. “This is starting to feel a lot like a middle school gym class, where I’m picked last for teams.” 

Hen bumps his fist in camaraderie. “Preach, Cap.” 

“Hen, I call Hen!” Chimney immediately announces, practically dragging his best friend over to his side. 

“Good, cause I was gonna pick Captain Nash anyway.” Albert sticks his tongue out. 

Buck grins when Bobby walks over to stand beside him. His parents never let him play sports when he was a kid--he had to forge their signatures for whatever ‘dangerous’ activity he wanted to participate in, and so he and his dad had never gotten to toss the ball around in the backyard the way most of his friends had, growing up. 

Being on the same team with Bobby now kind of feels like that. Not that he’d say it out loud. He’s way too old for that stuff now. Not to mention the fact that now he has to focus on both the game and on whatever Albert is plotting with him and Eddie. 

Buck sighs. He should’ve kept his big mouth shut. 

The game starts out friendly enough, some playful jabs thrown here and there, but Buck can tell Albert and Chimney are out for blood, knocking elbows and teasing the other when they miss a shot. Though, he concedes, they are siblings, and well, he and Maddie, even at this age, can still get a little overly zealous when competing with one another. So he’s not too worried. 

They take a break about half way through the game, sweaty and tired from running around so much, when Albert starts to speak. “Man, I can’t wait for that double date next Friday.” 

Chim glances up at him from the bench, where he’s rehydrating. “You’re going on a date? First I’ve heard.” 

Albert nods. “Yup. With Buck and these two really cool chicks I met at the coffee shop a couple of weeks ago.” 

Eddie furrows his brows. “Did you say Friday?” 

Albert nods, knowing exactly where this is going. 

Eddie turns to Buck, who’s trying his best to telepathically communicate with Albert to cut it out before he strangles the kid. “Uh, Friday’s game night.” he says, his tone slightly accusatory. 

Bobby’s eyes dart between the two men curiously. Hen presses her lips together. “Game night?” 

Eddie nods. “Every Friday we get together at my place and do a game night. Christopher looks forward to ‘em every week.” 

Albert cuts in before Buck can say anything. “Wow, you two sound like a married couple with a kid.” he teases. “But I mean, what’s the big deal, missing one game night? Buck could meet the love of his life Friday night. Isn’t that a little more important?” 

Eddie makes a face none of the crew can really read. “Guess you’re right.” he agrees reluctantly, picking up the ball and passing it to Chimney just a tad on the rough side. “Break’s over, let’s get back to it, yeah?” He steps out into the court without looking back, his shoulders set rigidly. 

Albert grins at Buck, whispering as the others head to the court as well, “It’s working!” 

“He looks like he wants to kill someone.” Buck half whispers back, eyes wide. “Your plan sucks.” 

“Shh, you’ll be thanking me later, now c’mon, let’s go!” Albert runs into the court and takes his position at the front, between Buck and Bobby. 

Buck can’t help but focus entirely on Eddie’s sour mood during the game, which is probably why he doesn’t notice the uneven asphalt as he goes to catch Bobby’s toss until it’s too late. He loses his footing and goes down hard. 

Buck’s back and side hit the pole connected to the basketball net and the damn thing actually shakes with the force of the collision. Bobby is on him instantly, helping him up and asking if he’s alright. Buck tries to say he’s fine, but the moment he’s standing he bends over, wrapping an arm around himself, wincing in pain. “Hurts.” he admits. 

Eddie sprints across the ball court to help Bobby get Buck to the benches where he can sit and they can see what’s going on. Hen lifts his shirt and grimaces tightly at the humongous ugly bruise already forming against his back and part of his chest. “Jesus, Buck.” she feels around that area. 

Buck gasps at the onslaught of pain and tries his best not to flinch away from her. 

“Definitely some bruised ribs, Buck,” Hen tells him sympathetically, pulling down his shirt as gently as she can. “Possibly fractured. I would definitely get this checked out in the ER, in case they’re broken. They’ll need to do an x-ray and a CT just to rule it out.” 

Buck groans. “Can’t I just ice it?” 

“C’mon,” Bobby shakes his head, helping Buck get up. “I’m taking you--” 

Eddie interrupts, his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “I can go. Christopher’s at a sleepover today, so I’m free anyway.” he volunteers. 

Buck is in too much pain to argue with either of them, and ends up in the front passenger seat of Eddie’s truck. Bobby makes Eddie promise to text the team updates. 

**********

Eddie fills out Bucks form so he can hold an ice pack to his side while they wait in the ER. Once he’s done he hands it to the nurse at the front desk and sits down next to Buck. “How ya’ feeling?” 

Buck knows there isn’t a point to lying, not when he needed to lean the majority of his weight on the other man from the car to the waiting room, after all. “Like the whole left side of me got hit by a car.” 

“Here, gimme that, I’ll hold it for you.” Eddie takes the ice pack and places it gently against his side, grimacing when Buck cringes. “Hurt a lot?” 

“Only when I breath.” Buck jokes, though it’s not too far from the truth. “You know you don’t have to stay here with me, I can call an Uber to drive me home. The place is packed, we’re probably gonna be waiting for hours.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “I’m not leaving you, so this had better be your first and last attempt at getting me to go.” 

Buck sighs. “Fine.” 

“Good.” Eddie clears his throat. “So...” 

Buck turns his eyes towards him. “So?” 

“You’re really not coming to game night Friday?” 

Buck looks away. He doesn’t want to lie to Eddie, but how crazy would he look if he told him Albert made all that up--in order to admit the truth he’d also have to confess his feelings for his best friend, and there’s just no way in hell that’s happening. “Yeah,” he says instead, “Sorry, I was planning on telling you later today, it just kinda slipped my mind.” 

Eddie hums, pursing his lips. “No it’s cool, Albert’s right. She might be the one.” he says, though it’s said dryly. 

Buck looks up at him from underneath his long lashes, curiously. “And uh, if she is?” 

“Then,” Eddie shrugs, “Good for you.” 

Buck nods. 

An uncomfortable silence falls upon the two men and it’s another half hour of awkwardness before Eddie picks up the conversation again. 

“You know what,” he starts, turning to Buck, “I lied. Not good for you.” 

Buck blinks at the bluntness. “What?” 

“I don’t want you to go on that date. And I don’t want to cancel game night. I know it’s selfish and I’m being kind of psycho right now, but I think I’m jealous?” Eddie’s mouth snaps shut, as though he hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud. Like the words simply spilled forth without his brains permission. 

“You’re jealous? Of...what?” Buck doesn’t dare to hope this is what he thinks it is. 

Eddie groans, putting down the ice pack for a moment and turning his chair completely to the side so he can face Buck fully. “I know I said Christopher looks forward to game nights, and he does, but so do I. I look forward to spending time with the two of you together and I get excited when our shifts line up on certain weeks and I’m getting tired of saying goodnight and watching you walk to your Jeep, all because I’m too much of a coward to just say--” Eddie stops himself, his chest aching, the words caught in his throat. 

“I’m in love with you.” Buck blurts out. 

“You--” Eddie stammers. “You are?” he asks in disbelief. 

Buck gulps, his cheeks heating up. “For a while now, I think. I just...hadn’t realized until recently.” Dr. Copeland had been a huge part of figuring that out. 

“Christ,” Eddie doesn’t waste a second more. He takes Bucks face in his hands and brings their foreheads together right then and there. “Can I...?” 

Buck nods, their lips brushing slightly with the motion. “Please.” 

Eddie kisses him, softly, tentatively, before pulling away just a bit. “I love you.” he confesses breathlessly. 

Buck thinks his heart might actually burst out of his chest. 

Man, Albert is never gonna let him hear the end of this. 

.

[one-boring-person]

The Good Old Days.

John Rambo (Post-Rambo III) x reader

Warnings: implied death, implied injury, heavily implied sexual themes, possible swearing? Alcohol consumption (moderate)

Context: inside John's head.

A/n: so recently, I saw @slystallone 's post (Here) about a deleted scene from Rambo, and this idea (or at least the first part) came to mind, so I have them to thank for the inspiration! (Also, if you're as obsessed as I am with Sylvester Stallone content, check out their blog, it's amazing!)

Masterlist

His eyes scan idly around the room, taking in the cheerful faces of young people letting loose, watching as many of them move together on the dancefloor, keeping in time with the sappy music playing overhead. Throughout the room, glasses are clinked together, liquids in a multitude of different colours sloshing in their containers as the owners of said drinks swallow down their beverages, the strong odour of alcohol rife in the air. Sweat mingles with this, as well as heady cologne and perfumes, creating the perfect odour of youthful spirit, something he has long since forgotten. Around him, he can see a fair few couples together: one in a booth in the corner, one right in the centre of the dancefloor, and one to his left, each of them enjoying each other's company far more explicitly than the rest of the pairings in the bar.

It should, in theory, be an enjoyable environment, being around hordes of people who are having a good time, but John can't help the discomfort playing in his mind. Something about the strong smells, the heaving throng of people, the lack of clear vision of anywhere fixed in the room and the cacophony of raucous noise doesn't sit right with him, his finely tuned senses prickling at everything. Dimly, he's aware of fighting back flashes of memory that spring, unbidden, to mind, trying to ignore the familiar faces branding his conscience. A lack of control in an environment, particularly one like this, has long since made itself known as a trigger of the thoughts he'd rather forget.

Just as he goes to dwell on these, he's interrupted by a familiar voice, one that grounds him, reassures him.

"John! Sorry I took so long, some kids were taking their time." (Y/n) apologises as she drops into the bar stool beside him, taking her drink back from him.

"Don't worry about it." He murmurs back, twisting the neck of his soda bottle in his hand (he finds alcohol takes away from his sense of control), flicking some hair from his face.

Smiling at him, (Y/n) takes a sip of her drink, turning to face the dancers as she sits with him, the two quite used to sitting in companionable silence. 

After a little while, she finishes her drink and sits back against the counter, only to spring up again when she hears the music overhead change, a wide grin on her face. Bouncing to her feet, she turns to John, expression imploring him.

"I love this song! Remember it? From way back when?" She smiles at the memory, a good one through all the bad ones, "We used to dance to this."

John can't help the small smile playing at his own lips as he is reminded of how they'd danced a couple of times, back on his father's ranch.

"I remember." He agrees, watching her.

"Come on, dance with me now!" (Y/n) chuckles, moving her body in the bare impression of a dance move.

"No, I'm good." John declines initially, waving her off politely.

"Aw, come on! It'll be fun! Just like the good old days!" She pleads with him, reaching out to take one of his hands, very lightly jerking on it as he tries to ignore the butterflies rising at her touch.

"I'm not sure…" 

"Please? Just one song?" She gives him a look, one he has memorized. It tells him she wants him to join her, but that she won't be upset if he doesn't, that she'll understand. She always does.

Eventually, it's what causes him to cave in.

Sighing, he climbs to his feet, allowing her to pull him into the crowd, the veteran pushing down the distrust brewing inside him from the closeness of the people around him, instead focusing on the feeling of her hand on his, grounding himself. As she finds a good spot on the dancefloor, (Y/n) turns back around to face him, face light and happy as she starts to dance, just how they used to. Copying her, John tries to forget the awkward feeling, finding it hard to make contact with the childhood memories that would've helped him, his expression tightening as he moves. 

After a moment, (Y/n) seems to notice this, stepping forwards into his space as she looks up at him with a curious look, silently asking for permission as her hands hover over his shoulders. Nodding, he bites back the sigh threatening to leave him as her hands close ever so gently around him, his own coming up to lightly grip her waist, enjoying the feeling of her body in his grasp. Leaning into his touch, (Y/n) sways them in time to the music, her expression softening as the tempo of the music does, the two of them drifting closer as they move together. Her scent is in his nostrils, somehow discernible through the sweat and alcohol around him, calming him as he leans in further, wrapping his arms more firmly around her body. Carefully, he pulls her into him, feeling her softer curves against his hard muscles, his hands splaying at her back, his nose soon finding her hair as he buries his face in it. She wraps her own arms around his neck, delicately threading her fingers into his hair, stroking through the strands soothingly as she presses her head into his chest. 

As they hold each other, it's as if the world around them has disappeared, leaving them in a bubble of security, just holding each other as they used to, before touch meant more than an idle gesture. It means so much more now, particularly for them.

After a moment, she pulls her head back a little, looking up into his face, eyes searching his, her lips parted as she regards him. They're close, so close he can feel her every breath against his heated skin, his gaze flicking down to stray over her lips as he fights the urge to simply bend down and close the gap between them, and give in to every desire he's repressed for years now. Naturally, she notices this and smiles, reassuringly this time, before she leans up and presses her lips to his. 

Instantly, they find a rhythm, lips smoothing against each other with soft fervour as hands start to pull each other closer together. John runs one hand down to her lower back, splaying his fingers over the curve of her ass, using the grip to pull her more tightly into him, enjoying the feeling of her body against his, the noises she lets out only serving to intensify his feeling for her. (Y/n) gently tugs on his hair, her other hand moving to push up under his shirt, feeling over his tense muscles, arching her body into him as he lightly licks at her lips. Obediently, she allows him access, and his tongue freely explores her mouth, sliding wetly alongside her's, her moans swallowed by him as he rocks his hips against her. Idly, the hand she had pushed up his shirt starts to trail downwards, settling over his crotch.

With a jerk, he breaks free from the kiss, his eyes finally flying open as he snaps upright in the rickety bed. 

Breathing hard, he scans the room, instantly remembering where he is, the knowledge calming him slightly as he wipes sweat from his forehead. Desire and longing course through him, his eyes straying over to find the figure lying beside him, her body left exposed by the thin sheet. 

In the dim light from the moon outside, (Y/n)'s sleeping form appears peaceful, her muscles totally relaxed, allowing for a less guarded look to cross her face, the hard line of her brow and lips softened until she appears more angelic. In the many times they'd slept on the same room, or same bed, John can not remember ever seeing her quite so relaxed, not after they got into the military anyway.

They'd met as teenagers, when she'd come to work for his father on his ranch. During their time working together the two had become fast friends, eventually managing to do most things together, until they both decided to join the military. She'd gone into the airforce, before eventually getting into another branch of the Special Forces, where she faced a similar abrupt finish to her career as he did, losing all of her team to a poorly planned stealth mission, which some corrupt colonel in the higher positions had instructed them to do. After this point, they miraculously found each other again on the long road to a small town called Hope, where things went awry. Neither wanted to leave the other, and so they stuck by each other, helping each other out on the bloody road that came after the events of Hope, leading them to this point. 

Unsurprisingly, John had soon realised that his feelings for the hardened veteran were no longer as innocent as he would've liked to keep them. Somewhere along the way, through gunfights fought back-to-back, mindless races through the sweltering jungle to avoid pursuers behind them, bandaging each other's wounds at the dead of night with only a dull campfire to light their work, and the calmer, soft moments between them, where they both overcame (to a certain extent) the mindless grief hounding them together, John had found that he and fallen for his partner. She'd always been there, back when things had gone to hell in Hope, when Co had been shot, and when Trautman had needed rescuing, (Y/n) had been by his side, fighting his battle with him, because "his battle is her battle now, they are partners after all". She meant everything to him, and he'd kill for her. He HAS killed for her.

At times, he'd played with the idea of telling her his feelings, of confessing to her and hoping things would be ok, but he had never gone through with it. Something always stops him, and that both irritates and relieves him. He has never quite been able to put a finger on what it is, but now, watching her sleep so peacefully, he realizes what it is.

He never wants to lose her friendship, ever, and he's afraid he'll ruin what they've got if he says anything. So he stays silent, keeping his thoughts to himself, lifting a hand to lightly ghost it over her side, thankful that she's so tired her instinctive alertness has dimmed down enough for him to gently touch her without her realising. He never places his hand down, only tracing his fingers over her, keeping the touch gentle and friendly, should she wake. It would be so easy just to pull her body into his, to hold her tightly against his chest and bury his face in her soft hair,  but he restrains himself, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

Groaning, he rolls onto his back, knowing now that sleep won't come again tonight, especially not with his thoughts so high-strung and confused, unless he manages to relax properly again.

Oddly enough, his reprieve comes to him in a surprising, but not at all unwelcome manner: mumbling in her sleep, (Y/n) turns over, her hands reaching out to find something, anything, latching onto him as they find him. Gently, she pulls herself into him, her head pressing into the side of his chest as her hand rests over his heart, his pulse pounding under her touch. 

Eyes wide, John gingerly wraps his arm around her, finding comfort in the solid feeling of her body in his grip, sleep coming back to him now as he buries his face in her hair, breathing in her familiar scent. He could get used to this, but he knows that he never will, not as long as he wants his friendship to last.

Just as he goes to drift off, he hears (Y/n) sigh one thing, her voice a bare whisper, if slightly more coherent than it should be for someone fast asleep:

""Wish you knew how I feel about you." 

Part Two

[lexwritess]

And It Was All Yellow [B.B]

Pairing- Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings- anxiety, depression, panic attacks, death, blood, fighting

Word count- 2.2k

a/n- this is based on the song yellow by Coldplay link is in the fic if you want to listen while reading. I’m super proud of this I hope you guys enjoy it! It would be super appreciated if you reblogged so more people could see it!

-

“For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

You Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Nat were sent on a mission in Canada. Someone that used to work for HYDRA formed their own army, trying to fulfill what HYDRA wanted.

Currently you all were on a jet on the way there, discussing everything you know so far.

“Okay so we know they have two super soldier assassians, and they’re experimenting with other unknown substances.” Steve was explaining and trying to strategize a plan for when we get there. Bucky and Steve always wanted to have a plan before going on a mission.

“Y/n, do you remember what they used on you when you were kidnapped?” Natasha asked you.

HYDRA kidnapped you about three years ago. They did experiments on you, trying to make you more powerful than any other assassin they made before. The things they injected you with gave you powers. You were able to heal, and create energy shields. But the first time you used your powers it nearly killed you, one of the HYDRA agents was shot and they told you to heal him, but when you did it nearly ripped you apart. They left you to die after. That’s when Steve found you. Bruce did some scans and tests to try to figure out what they did, but he couldn’t figure it out. But you were told to never use your powers again or it would kill you.

“No all I know is that they used the super soldier serum mixed with other things.” You reply back to them.

You wish you could use your powers. It would be so helpful to everybody and you could save a lot of lives. Tony and Bruce worked together to try to let you be able to use them but the only thing it did was make your eyes flash a yellow color when you thought about using them, similar to Wanda.

“Okay, I thought so but it was worth a shot.” Nat replied back to you.

You nodded and Steve got back to explaining his plan.

“Hey doll.” You hear Bucky whisper beside you.

“Hey Buck.” You smile at him as he wraps an arm around you.

“Can you promise me something?” He paused letting out a slight sigh.

“Please go along with the plan.”

“Yeah of course, I always do.” You reply, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. You didn’t know why he was telling you this. He’s never done this before.

“No you don’t. You always go on your own way and almost get hurt everytime-.” You interrupted his rant.

“But I never have.” You smirk at him.

“Doesn’t mean you ever will, but please darling they’re dangerous. You almost died last time you were with them. I-I can’t lose you Y/n.” Bucky’s eyes glaze over.

You don’t know what’s gotten into him. We’ve gone on missions that were way more dangerous than this one.

“You’re not going to lose me Bucky, sometimes you can’t follow the plan though.” You look at him with concern.

He pulls you in for a hug and holds you there for a minute kissing your forehead.

“What’s the matter James, why are you so worried.” You cup his cheek and he turns his head away.

“It’s stupid.” He grumbles.

“It’s not stupid if it’s got you this upset bub, tell me.” You persist.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “I had a dream you died.” He mumbles. You heard him though. You’re used to him being embarrassed of his feelings so he’ll just mumble everything out.

“Bucky, nothings going to happen to me.” You smile and put both your hands on his cheeks, giving him a big kiss.

He chuckles at your silliness, you always know how to make him feel better.

“You kiss like a Grandma.” He laughs at you.

“You’re older than my Grandma.” You giggle back as he pulls you closer to him, giving you a proper kiss.

“You better not die either or I’ll kill you.” You pout at him.

“I like your logic, doll.” He hums back at you.

“Promise me.” You say to him seriously.

“I promise.” He smiles grabbing your pinky and intertwining it with his.

“Alright love birds, we’re here get ready.” Sam smiles at you guys.

-

Once you guys got off the jet a car was parked there and HYDRA uniforms were in it, giving you all a disguise.

You all got out of the car and are standing together, reviewing the plan one more time.

“Okay we go in there, try to keep a low profile. Try to avoid fighting as much as possible we don’t want their assassians after us. We get to the basement and destroy their machines. Easy.” Steve says confidently.

“Okay, what happens if we get caught?” Sam asks.

“Try not to make a big scene. Use that move we learned at training last week. If that doesn’t work let us know where you are.” Steve explains.

“Okay, you guys ready?” Steve gives a reassuring smile to everyone and you go in.

You all split up and go to different parts of the facility that lead to the basement.

“Hey you!” You hear someone shout at you. Damn it you were so close to the basement.

“Who are you?” The man looks at you, scanning your face.

“Taylor Prince.” You say confidently. Sam demanded you all had fake names.

He makes a puzzled face but you whisper up to him the word Nat told you guys to say in Russian.

He nods his head and your off back to the basement.

You hear static from your ear piece and a voice cutting in.

“I’m going to need you guys, soldiers in the basement.” Sam says. You hear gun shots and shells dropping. You hurry the rest of the way down the hallway into the basement.

Nat and you got there at the same time and you run down the stairs to see the rest of your team fighting the super soldiers.

There’s a few guards down there as well. You and Natasha go to knock them out making it easier to get rid of the soldiers.

- (play this if you want)

“Goddamn it, these soldiers wouldn’t give up.” You sigh out happy that you guys can finally do what you need to do.

“Yeah that’s how you two were.” Sam rolls his eyes.

“Oh sorry.” You reply give a nervous smile to Bucky.

“Okay let’s hurry before they wake up.” Steve says and you guys run towards their machines.

You look over and see a shadow. “Hey guys I think someone’s over-.” You were cut off by a gun shot. You all snap your head at the direction of the sound.

You hear a groan and someone drop to the floor.

You look down and see Bucky clutching his chest. They shot his heart.

Anger is all you feel.

You take out your pistol and shoot the soldier. Shot after shot after shot...

“Y/n! Y/n stop shooting he’s dead!” Steve yells at you snapping you out of it.

You drop to your knees by Bucky’s side.

“Hey doll.” He tries to give you a smile and coughs up blood.

You let out a sob and look away. You can’t. You can’t let him go.

“You promised me.” You cry out, your voice cracking as you let out another sob.

“Sometimes you can’t follow the plan though.” Bucky replies, copying what you said to him on the jet.

“I-I can’t.” You pause, tears never stop streaming from your face. “I can’t live without you.” You hiccup.

“You can. I love you.” Bucky closes his eyes.

“No, no Bucky open your eyes!” You yell.

Bucky is breathing shallow breaths. You can see he’s losing oxygen.

“Say it back before I go.” He breathes out.

“Buck...” You say so quiet you’re not sure if he heard you.

“Y/n, please.”

“I love you Bucky. I love you so much.” Your voice fades out and you begin sobbing again.

You see the slightest smile form on his face and his chest rises for the last time.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You start panicking. “C’mon Y/n.” Sam says softly grabbing your arms trying to lead you away from your dead boyfriend.

You push him away and finally break.

“No! Bucky wake up! I know you can, you can, wake up Buck please!” You start repeating yourself over and over again.

“You promised!” You’re screaming now. Screaming and sobbing you feel two sets of hands on you now grabbing you pulling you back.

“Get off of me!” You scream at them, your eyes glowing yellow.

“Y/n. Don’t.” Natasha tells you sternly. Dry tears in her face.

You turn away from them and start using your powers for the first time since you almost died.

“Y/n STOP!” Steve comes over to pull you away from his deceased best friend. You sway your hand over in his direction and his body hits the wall.

You put your hands on Bucky’s wound, praying that this works.

You feel your body starting to tear it’s self apart. You groan out in pain, but continue trying to bring Bucky back.

“Y/n, you’re going to kill yourself!” Sam yells at you.

The yellow light between you and Bucky is almost blinding. Your body can’t take much more.

Your screaming in agony at this point. You give one last big push of your powers before collapsing to the floor. You can barley see. White stars and blind spots cover your vision, probably from all the blood your body is loosing. It won’t be long till you bleed out.

You hear a gasp and slowly turn your head towards the noise.

It worked.

“Y/n! What? Doll why would you-why would you do that?” Bucky rushes to your side.

“I can’t live without you Buck. I told you.” You reach your hand out for Bucky to hold. He cups your hand between his and rests his head against it while sobbing.

You wanted to feel that chill vibranium one more time.

“Y/n, I can’t do this why would you kill yourself for me?” Bucky can’t stop questioning everything. He’s in shock from being dead and the fact the love of his life is dying right in front of him.

“For you I’d bleed myself dry.” You smile at him, giving his hand one last squeeze.

“You told me you would follow the plan.” Bucky says his voice pitching up.

“You know I can’t follow the rules.” You give him a smirk.

“Goodbye Buck, I love you more than life.” You whisper out.

“You know I love you so...” Bucky replies he’s so upset all his senses are shutting down. You let out one last breath and your body goes limp in Bucky’s arms.

‘Cause you were all yellow...

The room lit up with a blinding yellow light.

You were gone.

The room is filled with cries and the screams from the former assassin.

He weeps against your chest. Cursing himself for letting this happen. No one hurts his doll.

“We gotta go Fury needs us back ASAP.” Natasha says with barely any emotion. She feels numb.

Bucky lets out a mad yell and starts punching the ground before those screams turn into more sobs.

Bucky gathers himself as best as possible and picks your limp body up.

It’s time to go.

-

It’s been three months since your funeral.

Bucky can’t get over you.

He barley can eat, barley showers, he can’t even get out of bed. The only time he gets out of bed is when he goes down to the shooting range and gets his anger out. Otherwise, he’s a stone.

“Hey Buck do you want to try to come eat dinner with the team?” Steve asks Bucky with a soft voice.

“Not hungry.” Bucky replies covering himself back up.

Steve let’s out a sigh and sits on the end of Bucky’s bed.

“Can- can you please leave?” Bucky asks Steve. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone and he’s surprised because no one has really tried to talk to him either.

“You got to come downstairs and eat dinner.” Steve says, this time more sternly.

“I said, I’m not hungry.” Buck grumbles and covers his head with a pillow.

“Okay you made me do this.” Steve stands up and clears his throat.

“Y/n, sacrificed herself for you to live.” Bucky cut Steve off.

“Don’t- don’t say her name.” Bucky voice starts to crack and his eyes glaze over.

“No, Bucky. You’ve been in your room for almost 4 months straight. You’re not even trying to get over it. You’re not letting yourself feel those emotions and you need to or you’ll never get over her. She did that so you could live a happy life.” Steve pauses and Bucky lifts his head up and wipes his tears away.

“Come downstairs and eat dinner with us. She would of wanted it.” Bucky stands up and sighs.

“Okay.”

They both walk downstairs and when they see Bucky they all smile and tell him to come sit down and eat.

They all talk and have a good time.

Bucky actually smiles for the first time since you died.

He can get through this.

Alternate shoot ending if that was to sad

Bucky shot up in a sweat, tears running down his face. His breaths are quick and unsteady.

“Shh Bucky come here.” You say from beside him.

It wasn’t uncommon for Bucky to have nightmares so you know what to do.

“Y/n?” Bucky questions, his eyes wide.

“Yeah bub I’m right here.” You wrap an arm around him and rub his non-metal shoulder.

“I had a dream you died.”

[alyblacklist]

Hey!!

I am new to your tumblr but I read your fics all the time (and reread them more often than I should admit lol)

I think you’re really amazing!

I’m so relieved that you answer asks and discuss speculation because I really need someone to talk this through.

So, I have watched a couple of other thriller series along the same lines where the makers don’t have any issues killing off major characters off the show.

There are a couple of things that are happening in this show which I think (and I honest to god hope I’m wrong) are building up to them killing off Ressler.

They get together, they partially admit their feelings (which we’ve been waiting for too Damn long) - so they get closure. Ressler is in the hospital, they show him deteriorating, he goes into v-fib.

And all of this is not that much of a game changer but hear me out. The task force is being dismantled and they need to give the viewers sth that they won’t expect. And bring some new spice in s9. With Liz going full time into crime, it seems a lot easier for them to kill off Ressler.

My only counter debate to my point is that they would have killed him off the moment he got shot (like they did with Meera) rather than show him being treated.

I really need to know what you think. Please tell me he’s not gonna die cause honestly who on earth will watch the show then?

Hi there! I have to say a special thank you to you, @alrightygirl, and to my anon (above) who I have lumped in, for the shoutouts on my stories. I came to Tumblr in the first place during the hiatus between S2/S3 in part because I realized some of my fav fanfic authors (@aussieokie !) were here so I am especially happy to read this.

I'm not sure people realize how much we fanfic writers thrive on feedback, and especially on the multi chapter works we invested so much time into. So thank you, and I have to say I really am looking forward to the end of the season so I can step away from the BTS hunt and my inbox and get back to just creating. Hopefully the writers will leave things in a good place in 8.22 so there's plenty to work with. Ok, on to the substance of your ask and I'll put in a jump because I can already tell this is getting long.

I really do NOT think Ressler will die. I didn't think so before 8x19 and I still don't think so after the "medical drama" of 8x20. Because that's what I think they're doing - they're creating drama because it's the end of the season and they want people freaking out and guessing over who will survive. Call it the curse of cable, or thrillers or whatever, but we as audiences have been conditioned to believe that major characters have to die every year, even if it's pointless.

The thing is, The Blacklist has never been that show. They have killed three "main characters" in the life of the show. Meera in S1 (and I later read Parminder only had a one-year deal), Tom in S5 (with huge fanfare and foreshadowing and an entire "hero" arc following a failed spinoff with a new series eagerly awaiting him at NBC), and Samar in S6 after the actress specifically requested to be released from her contract after S5 and gave them time to write her character an appropriate conclusion arc which also had huge foreshadowing.

Could they go a different route this year? Sure. We're late in the life of the show and twists and cliffhangers and budgets all come into play but the thing is - I just still really don't see it when it comes to Ressler.

For me, the characters' perspective is always paramount. What purpose would Ressler's death serve? It would make Liz more upset (because, you know, Sam, Tom, Katarina, her sister, her whole team weren't enough?). And other than that......?

The audience already knows the gravity of the stakes. So does Liz. So does every other character. The only purpose Ressler's death would serve that I see (and to be clear, I am focusing only on the characters in the show not the irrational fandom hate for his character) is to "punish" Liz more, to make her feel worse about what she's done, to deal another body blow on top of all that she's suffered already.

I don't think Liz needs that. (I'm positive nearly all of Reddit disagrees).

She turned herself in to Cooper because she recognized the bloodshed needed to end after she FEARED losing him. She stayed by Ressler's side and spoke her entire speech in the hearse and by his unconscious side because she can't handle losing him too. This is exactly the scenario the writers teased when Eisendrath teased all those months ago that maybe he would use her feelings for him to get her to come back.

Source (X)

He didn't overtly "use" her feelings in the end because that is not Ressler. He is not that guy. But in the end, her feelings for him were EXACTLY why she turned herself in.

I don't think Liz doesn't need to be punished further or suffer more in anyone's eyes except those who still can't come to terms with her war against Red. I don't think the writers feel that way about her character. To the contrary, they introduced a hallucinated Kaplan to try to give her a pass and also had her give lengthy explanations to both Ressler and Aram defending her behavior. I think from all I have read and seen that the writers view Liz as a victim of circumstances caused by Red - something Cooper has also articulated to Panabaker along the way in defending why Liz has done what she's done under extraordinary circumstances. We can all agree or disagree on the why and the method and the extremes but the bottom line is that I think the writers still view Liz as more "victim" or "forced criminal" than diabolical villain so killing Ressler, on top of everyone else Liz has lost, is just another deep blow on top of all the blows that have turned her into who she is. I think we're past the point that that is necessary and we'll be even further past that point after 8.21/8.22 when Liz learns some truths.

This has gotten crazy long so I'll just add these final thoughts which I have also articulated in prior posts:

- I think if the writers were going to write out Ressler - an original character from the Pilot - they would do so with more hype and fanfare and story than what he's gotten this season. Sure he was present in 8x19 a lot but it was really Liz's story. She was the heroine saving him and moving them from place to place while he suffered. I think the writers have enough respect for Diego to give him at least as much substantial story as Tom and Samar got in their sendoffs if this was really the end. He's a good guy and a good character and he deserves more than for his final moments to be a quiet fade to black in Vfib in a hospital with only Park present (or even Liz present for a final, vague, goodbye). A show that can't do that isn't a show I'm interested in watching, you know?

- his agents congratulated him on the S9 renewal back when it was announced. Hardly an indicator that a major character is getting jettisoned.

-You'd also think, if he was leaving this season, that he'd be doing more to elevate his profile on social media like he did at the end of Homeland to gear up for a new gig. He's done NOTHING.

-Finally, there has been literally nothing in JB's recent interview with The Blacklist Exposed, any of the BTS, the press, the episode descriptions, the crew photos, or anything else to date to indicate that a major actor/character is leaving. I know people can hide the ball but usually in this show, something slips through. So far - nothing. (No, I don't take Megan's thank you's or wrap party photos that way).

Anyway, hopefully we'll all be here at this time next year (or a few weeks earlier if things are back to normal), analyzing S9 and all that has happened. Thanks for the ask!

[marjansmarwani]

drop what I’m doing and sit beside you

6.4k || ao3

The past few months have been a lot, and Judd is feeling the strain. Ever since the accident, he has devoted every spare moment to making sure Grace was okay until she finally insists that he take some time to himself. So he decides to head to the cabin he used to visit with his old crew, TK in tow and Carlos staying behind with Grace.

But what starts out as a calm and relaxing weekend takes an abrupt turn and Judd is left hurt and TK is left trying to figure out the best way to save them both. ------ Day 2 of @911lonestarweek: "Please, stay awake" + “I’m right here, I’m not leaving, okay.”+ Cauterizing a wound for @badthingshappenbingo

Judd and Grace deserve some love so here is a take on “I’m right here, I’m not leaving, okay” prompt requested by @immortalstrand ages ago. She asked for Judd and TK being brothers, so I also managed to squeeze in some Tarlos and some cauterization, requested by Max for bthb. 

------------

The last few weeks had been a lot, to say the least. 

They had careened directly from a pandemic (that was still going on) to a damn volcano straight into a forest fire. They had lost one of their own and hadn’t had a moment to catch their breaths, let alone properly grieve. The universe didn’t seem too keen on them having a moment to process. 

From there it had been smaller things for a while: a minefield, TK switching to medical, whatever it was that was going on with Owen and Gwyn. Small interruptions to their everyday that were just enough to upset their equilibrium and set things off balance. But they were manageable; small stumbling points in their forward momentum. 

Until they weren’t. Until the molehills became mountains and Judd was reminded again what it was like to not be able to breathe in the face of fear. The feeling of the breath being stolen from his lungs was not a new one, but one that he hated. 

But he had hated what he was hearing even more: the paramedic team was missing. Nancy; who was his sole link to the time before, to his old life with his brothers that were no longer here. TK; his cocky, annoying, and big-hearted little brother. Tommy; his friend, a person he relied on and whom he owed the world to for introducing him to Grace and bringing him the greatest happiness he had ever known. They were missing and probably in danger and Judd couldn’t do a damn thing about it. 

But then they were found, and he could breathe again; if a little tensely. Because they were all alive but TK was hurt and it could have been so much worse but it hadn’t and he had to keep reminding himself of that. They were okay, and everything was fine. 

Until the rain and the blaring of a horn and the sensation of falling before the staggering crash of hitting the water and the desperate fear that was so much more real than any of the rest of it because it was Grace this time and nothing he had ever faced could be as bad as that. 

But slowly, they healed. The moment Grace opened her eyes again and smiled at him Judd swore rivaled their wedding day as the happiest moment of his life. As long as Grace was okay everything would be fine. And it was. It wasn’t easy, but it was okay. They were okay. His injuries had been minor, comparatively speaking, but Grace’s had been much more dire, and much more lingering. They had impacted their very way of life and every day was a bit of a struggle, but it was worth it. Any moment he got to spend with his wife safe and whole beside him was worth it, no matter how difficult. 

But eventually, things became something close to normal and Grace was tired of him hovering over her in every spare moment. 

“You need to do something, my love,” she had told him. “Take some time, go somewhere.” When he had protested she had simply shaken her head. “I love you, Judd,” she said evenly, “but if you don’t let me be for a few days, I’m going to lose my mind.” 

And so, in the face of his wife’s unwavering gaze, a plan had formed: there was an old cabin, about an hour outside the city. Judd and some of his teammates used to take a trip there at least once a year, often more. It had been almost two now since Judd had last been there, but he figured now was as good a time as any. He floated the idea to his new team, in the interest of keeping the tradition alive. Paul and Nancy turned him down outright, though they were touched. Marjan had a roller derby bout that weekend and Tommy didn’t want to waste any of her time with her girls. Which left him with TK and Mateo, who both eagerly agreed. 

Judd couldn’t hide his surprise at TK’s ready acceptance, making some comment about the city boy camping which caused the younger man to roll his eyes. 

“You do realize that you can leave New York, right?” he asked sarcastically. “There’s a big state outside the city and plenty of places to camp. My dad and I used to go whenever we had the time when I was growing up. It’s been years, but I doubt camping has changed all that much.” 

Judd didn’t have much to say to that so he settled for mussing up TK’s hair, causing him to give an indignant squawk and Nancy to laugh. The pieces began to fall into place the closer they got to the actual date. Judd had confessed his hesitation of leaving Grace completely alone to TK only to have Carlos offer to stay at the house with her when he wasn’t working. More surprising than the offer was Grace’s ready acceptance of it. 

“You think you boys are going to have fun,” she teased Judd, “but I’d wager that Carlos and I can give you a run for your money.” 

Which didn’t exactly instill much confidence, but if there were two people Judd Ryder trusted in the world, his wife and Carlos Reyes certainly made the list. So Judd thanked Carlos (and TK, who he was certain had something to do with it) and moved forward. 

The day of their excursion dawned bright and clear and found TK and Judd securing the last of their gear in the bed of Judd’s truck. Mateo had come down with a stomach bug the day before, leaving them with just a duo for the weekend. 

“I don’t know,” TK quipped as he deftly caught the bag Judd tossed him before setting it down in the truck bed he was standing in, “think we’ll be able to handle it?” 

“Handle what?”

“So much time together, just the two of us.” 

Judd shrugged, “I don’t see why not. Besides, you get annoying enough there are plenty of places to dump a body.” TK rolled his eyes as he climbed down from the truck but Judd continued contemplatively, “Could easily make it look like an accident too.” 

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” a new voice deadpanned and Judd turned to see Carlos and Grace approaching. The young cop raised an eyebrow and TK smiled at him as he stepped into his boyfriend’s space. 

“Or otherwise you’d have to arrest him on suspicion of murder?” he teased lightly. 

“I don’t know about that,” Carlos countered as he snaked his arms around TK’s waist, “you know what they say: no body, no crime.” 

“So you have to wait until after he murders me? Wow.” 

“Sorry babe, I don’t make the laws.” 

“Rude,” TK exclaimed, but leaned in for a kiss anyway. 

Judd rolled his eyes at them, only to get a swat from his wife. “Don’t pretend that we were any better at that point in our relationship Judd.” 

Judd grinned and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Who says we’re any better now?” he asked, causing Grace to giggle and half-heartedly swat at him again. He leaned even further to pull her into a lingering kiss. When they pulled apart he studied her for a long moment. He wasn’t ready to leave her just yet. What if…

But his spiral was interrupted by her firmly shaking her head. Judd wasn’t surprised that she knew where his thoughts were going: she knew every inch of him and it was all hers. 

“Judson Ryder I will be fine. Which is more than I can say for you if you don’t take some time for yourself. You need to recharge, my love. Go and take that city boy and show him how to rough it. I’ll be here when you get back.” 

Judd swallowed and nodded, forcing a smile in the weight of his wife’s expectant gaze. He leaned down to give her one more kiss before straightening and throwing a glance at TK who was still talking closely with Carlos, still wrapped in his embrace: “You ready to get this show on the road, lover boy?” 

TK leaned in for one last fleeting kiss before turning to face Judd with a smirk: “Ready when you are, Cowboy Judd.” 

Carlos shook his head and came to stand beside Grace, clapping a hand on Judd’s shoulder as he passed him. “Try not to kill him, if you can,” he requested lightly. “I do kind of like him, after all.” 

“I make no promises, Reyes,” Judd shot back. He went to step away, but paused. He looked back at Carlos, needing to say how much he appreciated what the younger man was doing but Carlos shook his head before he even had a chance to form the words. 

“I’m happy to do it, Judd. Besides, I know you’d do the same for me.” 

Carlos flicked his eyes to where TK was checking the bungee cords over the truck bed and Judd nodded. Of course he would, that’s what family does, after all. 

“Alright kid, let’s hit the road,” he said instead, turning back to the truck and TK. “We’re burning daylight.” 

TK sent a wave in the direction of Grace and Carlos before climbing into the passenger side of the truck. Judd walked around to the front and pulled open his door, turning to give Grace one last look. She sent him a warm and reassuring smile and he forced himself to take a calming breath. She would be fine, it would be okay. 

With that he shot her a grin before climbing in himself and pulling away, already counting down the seconds until he would be back by his wife’s side. 

---------

Grace had been right. 

Which shouldn’t surprise him after all these years, but the fact remained. 

It turned out that this had been exactly what he needed. To get away for a while, to spend some time in the fresh and open air. He had been worried, before they came, that being back here would bring up old memories of the family he had lost. And it did, but not in a bad way. He had been struck by it the moment they had arrived, when he had opened the door to the familiar room that even now seemed to echo with the sounds of their laughter. He had paused, overwhelmed by the force of it all when he felt a cautious hand on his arm. He glanced over to see TK looking at him carefully. 

“You okay?” he asked and Judd took a deep breath before nodding. 

“Yeah,” he said lowly, “it’s just been a while, you know? And the last time I was here...things were different.” 

He didn’t expand but he could tell by the look on TK’s face that the young paramedic knew exactly what he wasn’t saying. He nodded, glancing around the room as if he too could see the ghosts. “What to tell me about them?” 

He looked at TK sharply, surprised but the other man just shrugged, “I think I’d like to know more about them, if you feel like talking about it.” 

Judd looked away from his friend to study the empty room again. They had come here so often, every single inch of the space held a memory. More than he could ever forget and, as had happened more and more often with time, he realized he didn’t want to. “You see that part of the ceiling over there that looks cleaner than the rest?”

TK followed his pointed finger and nodded when he saw the ceiling tile that stood out as starkly more white than the others. 

“Let’s just say you are not the worst firehouse cook I have ever seen, kid.” 

TK glances up at the ceiling and then back at Judd, eyebrow raised. “Do I want to know?” 

“Why don’t I tell you and we’ll find out.” 

-----------

The rest of the day passed in a similar way, the two men chatting as they set up camp and Judd filling the space with whatever story of his old crew’s antics he thought of at that moment. 

“I think I would have liked them,” TK noted once he caught his breath after a particularly entertaining story about a wild turkey and a very startled probie who did not know they could fly. 

“Oh, you would have,” Judd agreed. “And you would’ve all gotten along like a house on fire. It’s Austin I’d be worried about.”  

TK rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to their surroundings. They were on their way to a trail Judd said they used to frequent that apparently had some great views from the peak. Judd was in his element now, sharing stories and showing TK around the patch of forest he knew so well. There was apparently fishing in the creek on the agenda for tomorrow and while TK would be lying if he said he was enthused by the idea, he was happy to see Judd happy. The past month or so since the accident had been hard on them all, but none more than Judd. Seeing him standing a little straighter and smiling a little wide brought TK a relief he hadn’t been expecting. 

He was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn’t notice the ground give way underneath his foot until it was too late. He flailed, windmilling his arms in a desperate attempt to catch his balance but it proved to be unnecessary when Judd reached out and caught him, steadying him and pulling him back to even ground. 

“Easy there,” he said firmly, “you good?” 

“Yeah,” TK responded after his heart rate returned to normal. “Yeah, I’m good. I don’t know what happened though. One minute I was walking and then...”

“And then you weren’t,” Judd finished helpfully, looking past TK to the spot he had nearly fallen from. TK followed his gaze to see that the edge of the trail they had been walking had crumbled under his feet. 

“Looks like erosion,” Judd observed with a frown. “I knew they’ve had a lot of rain up this way, but I didn’t realize it would have been enough to affect the land.” 

“That’s global warming for you,” TK retorted wryly, stepping closer to the middle of the trail, “and I don’t think it’s going to be any better as we get further.” 

Judd nodded, “Yeah, we should probably turn back.” 

But even as he said it TK could see the disappointment playing out on his face. This was important to Judd, and this weekend was all about giving him a break from all of the shit he had been dealing with for the past month. If that meant walking a slightly less than stable trail for a few hours, TK could manage that. 

“What?” he teased, stepping around Judd and heading further up the trail, “You don’t think we can handle it? There’s no reason we can’t, we just have to watch our steps.”  

Judd looked as if he were debating for a moment before TK rolled his eyes at him, “C’mon Judd, we’re here. We might as well take the chance while we can. Besides now that we know, we’ll just have to be more careful.” 

Finally, Judd shook his head. “Alright kid, but if you get yourself injured I am not covering for you with your man.” 

TK shook his head but laughed as he turned around. “Then we better not get injured because I’m not covering for you from Grace either. Besides,” he added, “I didn’t bring the full first aid kit so mortal injuries are not allowed.” 

He quickened his pace as he moved further down the trail, causing Judd to curse under his breath as he sped up to catch up with him. He slowed after a minute and the two men continued down the trail in companionable silence. TK may be a city person, born and raised, but there was something comforting about the silence of nature. It offered a silence he had spent years and many pills trying to find in his own head. The only problem with it was that eventually, it ended and he was always right back where he started. 

But this was about Judd and so TK turned to glance at him. He seemed lost in thought. “What’s on your mind?” he asked, startling the other man out of his reverie. He had an almost guilty look on his face and TK rolled his eyes, “Please don’t tell me you were worrying about Grace?” 

The way Judd turned away, avoiding TK’s gaze told him everything he needed to know. 

“Judd,” he sighed, “she’s fine. She’s in no danger and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides,” he added after a glance at his watch, “Carlos’s shift will be over in an hour and then he’ll be over there and I’m sure they’ll be having a great time making pasta and gossiping over wine.” 

Judd did at least snort at that, causing TK to relax a little. “I know you’re worried,” he continued, voice softer, “and honestly I can’t say I blame you. I don’t think I would be much better if it were Carlos in her place and we had gone through what you have. But you trust her, right?” 

“More than anyone,” Judd replied, without a moment’s hesitation.

“Then trust her,” TK implored. “She told you she would be fine and so she will. And if she’s not she has people to rely on. She’s not alone in this, neither of you are.” 

There was silence between them for several moments and as it stretched on TK began to worry that he had overstepped. He was about to offer an apology and resign himself to a hike filled with awkward silence when Judd finally spoke. 

“That’s actually pretty wise,” he mused, “who would have thought you had that in you?” 

TK rolled his eyes as Judd laughed. “See if I ever give you advice again,” he gripped, staggering as Judd clapped him on the shoulder. 

“I appreciate it kid, really,” he assured him. “And you might just be right.” 

“Only maybe?”

“Well I can’t have you getting a big head, can I?” 

TK rolled his eyes and decided to change the subject, “How much further to this lookout point?” 

“What, you getting tired on me?” 

“No, but it will be getting dark in just over an hour and while an eroding trail in daylight is doable, an eroding trail in the dark is something else entirely.” 

Judd sobered at the reminder, “It’s not too much further, 10 minutes tops. Besides, it’s worth it. Most beautiful view you’ve ever seen. Chuck actually proposed to his wife out here.” 

“Are you planning on proposing to me, Judd? Because I’m flattered but I think your wife and my boyfriend might have something to say about that.” 

Judd shook his head, “Can’t even show you the wonders of nature without you making it weird. What am I going to do with you kid?” 

TK simply laughed and Judd rolled his eyes. They continued forward, reaching an opening in the trees a few minutes later, as promised. TK could feel Judd’s eyes on him as they stepped forward and he meant to make a quip about it, but the sight that sprawled out before them stole the words from him. Open fields spread out as far as they could see, bright spots of blue dotting them and a river winding lazily through. 

“This is the best time to come out here,” Judd was saying. “The bluebonnets are fully in bloom.” 

“It’s gorgeous,” TK agreed. “Why didn’t you bring Grace out here to propose?” 

Judd shrugged, “That was the plan, actually. I figured she deserved the best. But it didn’t quite work out that way.” 

TK studied him for a moment. “You blurted it out without thinking, didn’t you?” 

Judd looked startled for a moment but when TK raised an eyebrow he chuckled ruefully, “Yeah I did. Don’t give me that look,” he protested defensively, “like you’re going to do any better when the time comes for you and Reyes.” 

TK’s laughter petered off and he shook his head. “You’re probably right,” he admitted. “Besides, take it from someone with unfortunate experience in this matter: those overly planned and dramatic proposals aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” 

Judd sobered at the change in TK’s tone, and though he didn’t push TK was sure he had connected the dots in his mind. 

“Yeah well,” he said instead, “if it’s the right person the ‘how’ doesn’t matter.”  

TK smiled at him before turning his gaze back to the amazing view before them. Judd kept talking beside him, “We used to come out here, from time to time. My old crew and me,” he clarified and TK nodded.

“A bunch of macho firefighters admiring the pretty flowers?” he teased lightly but Judd shook his head. 

“It was just kind of peaceful, you know? We’d come out here and somehow find a way to talk about the serious things. It was nice. It was…” 

He trailed off but TK continued for him, understanding where he was going with it, “A safe place.”

“Yeah,” Judd agreed softly, stepping closer to the edge. “It was.” 

TK smiled sadly at his back, staying quiet as Judd took a moment. He couldn’t begin to imagine what he was thinking about or how much he had suffered. TK had never been as close with any crew before this one, and he couldn’t imagine losing any of them, let alone all of them. He couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. So he was content to offer silent support and to let Judd do whatever it was that he needed to do. 

Or he was, until Judd took another absent minded step forward and TK heard the tell-tale sound of earth crumbling. 

“Judd!” he called out, lunging forward to grab for the other man, just managing to latch on to his arm before the rest of the ground crumbled around him. 

He wasn’t fast enough to prevent it though. All he could do was follow as gravity did its work, pulling Judd over the edge of the overlook, pulling TK with him. 

They tumbled for what felt like ages, each moment a blur of motion and pain. When they finally came to a rest TK took a moment to remember how to breathe, to reacquaint himself with his body once more. And in the next moment he turned, looking for Judd. 

He found him only a few feet from him. He was sprawled and not moving and for a moment, TK forgot how to breathe all over again.

“Judd!” he called as he pushed himself up, collapsing with a sharp gasp as pain shot through his right wrist. He stopped for a moment to examine it; carefully feeling the joint for any signs of a break. He didn’t find any and tried to pull himself up again, more carefully this time. He made his way to Judd’s side, surveying him the best he could without moving him unnecessarily, looking him over for any signs of major injury. He didn’t see any so he gently turned him over, biting his lip against the pain that shot through his wrist at the motion.

“Judd,” he tried again, “are you with me?” 

“Yeah,” came the other man’s response and TK almost collapsed in relief.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked, beginning to examine him more closely. 

“Are you going all paramedic on me kid?” he asked drily and TK narrowed his eyes. 

“Humor me.”

Judd sighed, “We were hiking and I stepped too close to the edge of a trail we knew was unstable. I screwed up.” 

“We’re all allowed,” TK reminded him. “God knows I’ve done my fair share. What’s important is that you’re okay. Is there anything that hurts?” 

“What about you? You okay?” 

“I’m fine. Really,” he insisted at Judd’s less than convinced look. “I’m going to be very bruised and I think I sprained a wrist but it’s my right and since I’m left handed, I’ll live. I’m more worried about you at the moment.”

“Don’t need to be,” Judd said weakly, “I’m fine. Help me up and we’ll get out of here.” 

But TK had continued his examination and determined that while Judd Ryder was a lot of things, one of them (at the moment) was a liar. There was a puncture wound on his thigh, and it was bleeding heavily. TK swore and reached around for his backpack, knowing that while he had not brought the full first aid kit he had at least grabbed some bandages. 

It was a moment later that he realized he no longer had it. It must have been lost somewhere along their fall. He glanced back up to see that they had fallen much further than he had thought; nearly 40 feet of steep, overgrown hillside was stretched out between them and the overlook. He swore again. 

“What’s wrong?” Judd asked him. 

TK took a steadying breath before he looked back down at Judd. “What’s wrong is that you have a wound that is bleeding pretty heavily and that I lost my backpack with all our medical supplies and gear somewhere in the fall. I can try to make a pressure bandage maybe, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough to stop it.” 

“And we need to get out of here,” Judd added, “because it’ll be dark soon and the local wildlife might not take too kindly to our being here.” 

“That too,” TK agreed, already pulling off his hoodie and balling it up to compress against the wound. “Overall, this is less than ideal.” 

Judd nodded and reached into his pocket for his phone and turned it to TK after a moment, revealing a picture of him and Grace, and no bars. “Well we’re on our own for getting out,” he told TK, “no service.” 

TK cursed again. Looking back down at the hoodie in his hand, the gray material rapidly being consumed by the bright red of blood. It was bleeding too much. 

“You should go get help.” 

TK looked sharply up at Judd, who seemed to think what he was saying made sense. “No,” TK said incredulously. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, I’m not leaving, okay.”

“You should,” Judd countered, “it might be our best shot.” 

“How exactly do you think you are going to do against that wildlife you mentioned?” TK asked him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

They lapsed into silence, after that, both their minds spinning with possibilities and solutions. It was Judd that eventually broke the silence.

“What if you cauterized it?” 

TK looked up at him incredulously, “I’m sorry, what?”

“To stop the bleeding. We don’t really have enough equipment with us for you to properly bandage it and it’s bleeding an awful lot. Cauterizing it might be the best way to stop the bleeding with what we have.” 

TK shook his head, “It’s not that simple Judd. Yes, it would stop the bleeding, but it would only stop it from coming through the skin. I have no way of knowing what is torn internally, and cauterizing the outside won’t do anything for that. You could just end up with massive internal bleeding instead, not to mention the risk of infection. And I think you are ignoring the fact that cauterizing it would literally mean I would be melting your skin back together.” 

“What’s another burn scar?” Judd said with a shrug and TK frowned at him. 

“At some point we’re going to have to talk about how casually you said that,” he muttered, “but there are bigger matters at hand right now.” 

TK could feel Judd watching him but his mind was turning; pros and cons and possible courses of action flying through his head. He bit his lip as he looked back down at the compress he was still clutching tightly to the wound, and swallowed. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world, but it also wasn’t a great one. It was a last resort type of idea for sure, and he wasn’t quite sure they were there just yet. 

But they were pretty close.  

“Listen, kid,” Judd said, interrupting his thoughts, “you need to do what you think is best. I trust you and I know you won’t let me down.” 

“It could go wrong though,” TK admitted quietly, “it could make things worse.” 

“Or you could not do it and we could be trapped here, since you refuse to leave for help.” 

TK bit at his lip as he considered. He hated the idea. Not only was it not guaranteed to work, it would also be incredibly painful. But Judd was right; it might be their only shot. 

“We’d need something that could get hot enough,” he finally said, “and something to heat it with.” 

“There’s a hunting knife strapped to my belt and a lighter in my right pocket.” 

TK took a deep breath and nodded, “Okay, but this is going to hurt; a lot.” 

“I trust you.” 

And he did. TK had always known that, but the way he was looking at him now as he bled out on the forest floor made it even more apparent. He took another wavering breath before he nodded, “Then let’s do this.” 

He took the knife from Judd and reached into the indicated pocket for the lighter. He flicked it on and held it under the knife, running the flame back and forth across it, making sure to evenly heat it. When he could feel the heat emanating from it he pulled the hoodie off the wound and did his best to clean it before he met Judd’s eyes.

“Ready?” he asked. 

“As I’ll ever be,” he responded.  

TK nodded again and swallowed, looking back down at the offending wound. He took a deep breath and pressed the hot knife against the puncture, making sure to raise and lower it in short bursts to prevent from killing the healthy tissue surrounding the wound. He could hear Judd’s cries of pain and apologized over and over again, for all the good it did. Then finally, it was done and he tossed the knife down onto the ground beside them as he leaned forward to examine the wound. It wasn’t bleeding anymore, at least, which meant he at least hadn’t tortured his friend for nothing. 

He pulled his eyes off of the wound in search of Judd’s face, feeling fear course through him as he saw his eyes closed. 

“Hey,” he instructed, “I need you to open your eyes, Judd. I need you awake.”

He tapped on the other man’s face and eventually, his eyes blinked open. 

“That’s it,” he said soothingly. “That’s better. I know it hurts but I need you to keep those eyes open. Please, stay awake.” 

“Can’t leave you out here on your own,” Judd quipped weakly, and TK laughed.

“No, you can’t,” he agreed. He settled down on the ground beside Judd, determined to let him relax a bit before they tried to move at all. 

“We should get moving,” Judd said instead, trying to pull himself up. “The road should be that way, unless my head is truly scrambled. We should be able to find someone passing by, or at least get a signal to call for help maybe.”

“And we will,” TK assured him, “but you can take a second to catch your breath first. That can’t have been fun.” 

“Wouldn’t recommend it,” Judd agreed, “but I’m good.” 

“Well I’m not,” TK countered. “I’m going to need a minute to recover from melting my friend’s skin back together so you can just wait a minute or two if you don’t mind.”

Judd's unimpressed look told TK he knew exactly what he was doing, but he settled back down with a sigh.  

“What do you think Grace and Carlos are going to have to say about this?” he asked, and TK chuckled. 

“Nothing good,” he admitted, “but they’ll both just be glad we’re okay. Pretty sure Grace will have something to say about irony though when you were the one we should have all been worried about, in the end.” 

Judd snorted and they lapsed into silence. They waited for a few more minutes until TK glanced up at the sky and the slowly sinking sun with a sigh, “Guess it’s time,” he said, gingerly pulling himself off the ground and brushing himself off. “We’ll have better luck if we can get to the road before dark. You good to go?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Judd shrugged and allowed TK to help him up. It was a sign of how badly he was feeling, TK thought, that Judd leaned against him without even a hint of protest, allowing TK to support him. He slid one of Judd’s arms around his shoulder. 

“Lead the way, Cowboy Judd,” he instructed once they were settled, “I have no idea where we’re going.” 

“East,” Judd told him, nodding in the direction away from the setting sun. “The road is East from here.” 

“East it is,” he agreed as he took a tentative step forward, allowing Judd a moment to get his feet under him. “Then we just hope it’s rush hour out in the sticks.” 

They made their way to the road, slowly but surely. TK kept stealing glances at Judd, making note of his condition. So far he seemed good. Or as good as could be expected, at least. He was pale and sweating but that was to be expected from exertion and blood loss. Hopefully they would find help soon. TK wasn’t ready to think about what could happen if they didn’t. 

They reached the road without incident and TK could hardly believe his eyes. There were lights in the distance, heading towards them. 

“Judd!” he exclaimed, “there’s a car coming! Come on!”  

Judd followed his gaze and picked up his pace, the sight of the car apparently giving him a second wind. When they reached the side and the car slowed to a stop at the sight of TK’s frantic waves and Judd clinging to him, TK allowed himself a moment to breathe a sigh of relief. It would be okay, they would be fine. 

And that was all he could ask for. 

------------

TK was dozing off in the uncomfortable chair at the side of Judd’s bed when he heard frantic footsteps approaching. He sat up as Carlos and Grace entered the room, both wearing anxious expressions that didn’t ease much at the sight of them. 

TK knew he must look like a wreck - covered in cuts and bruises and his wrist wrapped with an ice pack resting on top of it - but he was at least sitting up (for the most part). Judd on the other hand…

Grace went straight for him, a hand covering her mouth as she took in the sight. 

“He’ll be okay,” TK told her softly, “they did a full exam. They just want him to get some fluids and a transfusion to make up for the blood loss and some antibiotics just in case due to the less than sterile conditions. He’ll be up and on his feet in no time.”

“Probably sooner than he should,” Grace snorted, though her voice was thick. TK looked away, allowing her to have her moment, to Carlos who was studying him from the doorway.

“I’m okay too,” he assured him. “Just some superficial cuts and bruises.” 

“So the ice pack and bandage is just for fun?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s only a sprain,” TK retorted. “We’re both going to be fine.” 

“Well one thing’s for sure,” Grace noted as she took one of Judd’s hands in hers, “I would say Carlos and I did have more fun than you. Until we got that phone call, that is.” 

“Hey now, I think me and the kid were doing just fine in the fun department before this all happened, isn’t that right TK?” 

All eyes turned to Judd who had apparently woken up at some point during their conversation and was beaming up at Grace. 

“That’s true,” TK agreed, giving Carlos a fond smile as Judd and Grace looked at each other, “and it’s not like we asked the path to erode. That was definitely not the plan.” 

“I would just like to make pasta without someone I care about ending up in the hospital,” Carlos declared, coming up behind TK to put his hands on his shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “But that is apparently too much to ask.” 

TK looked over at Judd and Grace to see what they had to say but they were too wrapped up in each other to even know that they had company in the room. Grace had tears in her eyes as she reached out a hand to put a hand on Judd’s face. “And here you were worried about me,” she reminded him. “That is what I call irony, my love.” 

TK did his best to bite back the laugh that came at that and Judd spared him a glance long enough to roll his eyes before turning his gaze back to his wife. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t want to worry you.” 

“I’m afraid you don’t get a say in that Judd,” Grace argued, “it comes with the territory when you love someone.” 

TK looked up at Carlos to see him smiling down at him. He reached his good hand up and placed it on top of one of the hands on his shoulders, giving it a light squeeze. Soon they would work out the logistics and likely leave Judd and Grace to their own devices, giving them the time they needed to savor the existence of each other. They would likely go home and do the same.  But for now TK was content to sit here; the man he loved beside him and two dear friends nearby and just soak it all in. It had been a long day after a long few months, but they were all safe and whole and they were here together. 

And TK knew now just as surely as he had by the side of the road: couldn’t ask for anything more. 

[flowerwrites06]

break my mind’s eye X — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Parts: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Special 

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation 

The entire house descended into an ominous silence. Yoongi could hear murmurs coming from through the door where Saito and Belle were still conversing. No one could really hear what they were talking about. He had a few ideas however. Taehyung sat down at the small dining table while Jungkook had his back faced to everyone, leaning over the study table.

Time was running out. In only a few minutes those doors were going to burst open and Yoongi knew he had to keep his heart hardened. Exposing and arresting Jungkook was not just an act of heroism but it broke so many manipulative ties. So many dens used vulnerable people as bait, Taehyung being one of those victims. The countless amounts of people who died or were severely damaged while Jungkook made money off of that suffering.

Those thoughts provided him with a new boost of determination. He was doing this for good. It was a heartless act for a broken hearted man but it was the right thing.

Glancing over at Taehyung, Yoongi tried to give him an apologetic look knowing this was not the right time to be adding more stress. But they both knew this was for their freedom.

Heat erupted like a volcano from his toes right up to his head. Hands trembling and eyes burning as Yoongi reached into his holster, carefully hearing the rustling outside of the house.

Heartbeat pounded in his ears muffling all sound for a moment but his chest felt the thud.

The door burst open as a small crowd of police officers marched in almost like an army of cockroaches except more organized. Dark uniforms contrasting with the soft warm tones of the house design.

One of the officers pointed a gun at Taehyung making him stand up from the chair and raise his arms in defense.

“Stand down, he’s not the one we want. Niether are the two women inside the bedroom.” Yoongi ordered simply glancing over his shoulder as he pulled the gun out of the holster. He watched Jungkooks’ movements carefully but the younger male stayed still. Almost like a statue of sorts. Even Yoongi grew convinced that the world finally froze for a moment to give them time to breathe except he could only hold his right now.

Then Jungkook turned his body around, reddened gaze and an unreadable expression adorned on his broken features. Eyes merely glanced at the officers as if he already expected their presence…or was just too heartbroken to really care. Finally that same eerie gaze fixated on Yoongi. “Suppose I should’ve guessed it. No medical apprentice would know how to work a gun that well.” He smiled sadly, eyes still a little glossy.

“Jeon Jungkook…” Yoongi sighed, tightening his grip on the gun and pretending he was dreaming for a moment to make it easier not to shake. “You’re under arrest. Don’t make this harder on yourself and just come with us.”

“I’ll go.” Jungkook nodded a lot longer than Yoongi was comfortable with.

He could recognize that silence from far too many arrests already. Not a single person went so willingly, even the innocent ones.

Before anyone was prepared, Jungkook grabbed the gun from the table and shot the guard next to the older male.

Almost like machines all the standing officers raised their guns while injured officer groaned, bleeding on the floor.

“No! Stand down!” Yoongi ordered in more of a growl now ensuring no shots were fired from the police officers to prevent casualties. Especially since Taehyung was still standing there, breathing heavily. Raising his own gun at the Jungkook, both men now had their weapons pointed at each other.

None of them made a move for the trigger nor were they determined on lowering their guns either.

-

Belle and Saito jumped at the sound of a gunshot from the other side. The younger womans’ memory now jolting to what was to be done today, she pushed herself off the bed. Pain shot through her entire lower body as she moved her legs to the side and got to her feet. Belle leaned onto the wall with a light groan.

Saito immediately held onto her arms to keep her from moving any further. “You need to stay here if there’s danger happening.”

“No—” She shook his head, gently patting her hand. “He’s not going to listen. I need to talk to him.”

“If someone pulls the trigger accidentally—”

“Then I’ll get shot.” Belle replied simply, walking past the woman trying to be as kind as possible. There wasn’t really anything else that was going to surprise her anymore. If death was the next option for her continued torture then it didn’t look too bad.

She opened the door harshly causing a gust of wind and dust to flow through her hair and dress. Belle’s heart dropped when she saw Jungkook and Yoongi pointing a gun to each other. She hated not knowing which side scared her most. Either way her trembling feet moved forward.

If both Yoongi and Jungkook were stubborn before, it quickly faded to a numbing feeling when they saw Belle stand smack damn in the middle of them.

Yoongis’ eyes widened seeing his gun pointed right at her back and Jungkook lost all his anger for a moment seeing the end of his weapon aimed at his wifes’ forehead.

“Belle, what’re you doing?” Jungkook asked in a breathy voice, immediately putting his gun down as Yoongi did too not wanting to have that view ever again.

“Turn yourself in.” Belles’ lips quivered but she stood her ground, not wanting to succumb to the pain anymore even though it felt so easy to do so now.

Jungkooks’ mouth moved in a subtle manner attempting to form words, eyes momentarily glancing over at Saito who stood at the door before looking back at Belle. “Yoongi betrayed us—” He leaned in as if to try and reason with the woman in an attempt of a private conversation.

“You—” Belle corrected. “He betrayed you. Not us.” Her features twisted welcoming another brewing sob as more tears gathering at her stinging eyes. “He’s helping me.”

Jungkooks’ expression deflated. A disquiet silence plunged into the warm room. “No…n-no you’re just tired, you’re saying things.” He forced out a chuckle but it quickly faded into a confused frown. “Just go back to the bedroom.” He reached out to hold onto her arms.

Belle pushed his arms away and shook her head. “It’s over, Jungkook.” She gulped down the lump in her throat. “Please let it be over. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Tears overflooded and streamed down her cheeks, voice crackling at every word. “It hurts too much now, I tried—” She gasped lightly. “I really tried to be good for you but it has to end. Let it end.”

It didn’t take a mind reader to see Jungkooks’ whole world crash and shatter right in front of eyes when his lips parted and he lost control of his tears again. As his body shook and his heart clenched until it grew ten times smaller, the grip on his gun loosened. Metal clanged onto wood making Belle jump a little.

Yoongi gestured over to four officers making them immediately rush over to where Jungkook backed away and grab him by the arms.

Belle stood frozen as she watched her husband being dragged away out of the house. Letting out a drawling breath, the girl had to stop for a moment to ensure this wasn’t some kind of sick dream. Looking over her shoulder she saw Taehyung slowly walking towards her.

Immediately the older male engulfed his sister into a warm hug.

As if another dam broke down when Belle let out a series of sobs, a strange mixture of hurt and that little tingle of relief that she so longed for. It wasn’t fake anymore. Her sobs muffled a little into his shoulder. For a few seconds the woman could take a breath and quite happily cry her suppressed pain out without the pressure of smiling again.

She was hurt, broken and deeply damaged. But she survived. That was all that mattered in this moment of heartwarming vulnerability where a brother and sister could finally walk towards freedom.

-

A week almost flew by without Belle fully realizing her world changed overnight. The sun shone a bright golden high in the sky as she sat in one of the biggest law firms in the city where divorce papers were being filed and signed. Cool air brushed through her grey bodycon dress, the extra swell on her belly still poking out when she sat but it definitely dialed down significantly after all the check-ups and treatments.

Saito seemed to lose her smile for the past few days finding out the unfair game her biggest customer had been playing with none other than own protégé. A part of her felt guilt settle in her upset stomach letting all this happen under her nose without, even for a minute, checking if everything was okay.

Once Belle’s signature etched onto the paper, the papers were enveloped and made to be sent to the prison where Jungkook was held. Apparently the now convicted drug lord specifically asked to have a private cell as far away as possible from the city.

No pleas for bail. Nothing. Just quiet acceptance of the fate given to him.

Standing up from the chair after bidding farewell to the legal team, Saito guided Belle out of the office to the elevator.

With a pleasant ding, the doors slid open to reveal that the elevator was empty and the two women walked inside in silence.

-

As the doors closed and Belle felt a lift in her stomach as it descended down, she heard Saitos’ voice break the silence.

“I’m sorry, Belle.” Saito murmured not facing her but looking at the blurry reflection of her figure against the doors. “I should’ve known something was wrong from the beginning. Maybe—maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

Belle turned her head to face the older woman immediately shaking her head. “I’m the one who accepted the deal. And I’d do it again if I had to.” She spoke with any confidence mustered in the past few days.

All the daily interrogations really built a wall of confidence over her. Investigators really liked asking questions about the impregnation ritual and miscarriage on how it was not technically Jungkooks’ fault she said yes to him.

Even Namjoon, Yoongis partner, in all his ability to be patient, grew frustrated at the inappropriate and misogynistic questions thrown at her which really did not bring them closer to thickening Jungkooks’ case.

Both officers were struggling to find a decent number of years fit for Jungkooks’ sentence. That would only work if the investigators were not trying so hard to make Belle look like the real personification of Lady Macbeth, using her wit and beauty to ‘trick’ Jungkook in to committing the crimes he did.

Eventually that mindset was debunked considering how long Jungkook and his whole family had reigned over the city.

-

Out the elevator, Belles’ thoughts seemed to come to life when the two women were welcomed by two familiar officers at the lobby.

Namjoon and Yoongi stood waiting, with coffees in hand and badges flashing from their belts looking utterly out of place in an area infested by people wearing suits.

To her though, the familiar look brought a smile across her face.

“Can I say I’m out of the woods now?” Belle chuckled nervously looking at Namjoon and Yoongis’ expression twist into a mixture of a smile and some splashes of disappointment. “What was the verdict?”

The two men met each other’s gaze for a few moments before Yoongi took a breath to speak.

“Five years.” The answer lingered amongst the group with an eerie note.

Belle’s smile disappeared as she shifted where she stood, trying to immediately reassure herself with any comforting words that could be conjured. A lot of things could happen in five years. Which brought a sink in her belly wondering whether the life she makes at that time would be interrupted by a ghost of her past.

“You’ll be under court protection so he can’t come near you whether in prison or not.” Namjoon explained in the calm tone.

“It’s not him I’m worried about.” She smiled sadly. The couple were ripped apart in the heat of swirling events that overwhelmed the both of them. Despite the brush of freedom Belle now felt, there was still the nagging feeling at the back of her mind that something needed to be said. Like a chapter unfinished or a song stopped smack damn in the middle.

“There’s no need to worry about something that long away now.” Saito patted the younger womans’ back. “I’m going to work. You are going to get a whole day off and try not to think about anything else but yourself.” A comforting smile spread across her lips.

Belles’ gaze flickered over to Yoongi, her heart jumping a little to see his eyes already fixated on her.

-

Walking out of the firm building, the heat was pleasant on her skin after the chill of the air conditioners for hours. Saito took her own car to drive her around because Belle started getting a bit too jumpy to drive for a while. The younger woman was not so sure why because she had already seen and heard so many things that no person should in their lifetime.

Saito walked to her car and climbed inside.

As Belle tried to follow her, Yoongi lightly touched her shoulder to bring attention back to him.

“There’s something I need to show you.” He murmured, his tone serious.

Belle looked over at the male, confusion gripping her features but she did not argue much further.

Giving a quick farewell to Saito, she opted to climb into the SUV the two officers drove in. Apparently police protection had to be done in the subtle way possible to prevent spies from getting way too observant on when they were coming to watch Belle.

Climbing into the vehicle, the AC once again bursting throughout as Namjoon already started the engine while Yoongi got into the car. They drove off almost immediately and kept a strange level of silence in the air. Not that Belle was in mood for any kind of conversation, it still brought a small tinge of discomfort.

-

Passing the building at a somewhat snail pace as the traffic thickened, Yoongi finally built up some kind of courage to structure the words in his mind. The piece of paper in his hands itching to be given to the woman. The letter that could have potentially determined Jungkooks’ fate that night. If anyone found out that the man handed this confidential document to someone so close to the criminal, he would lose his job almost instantly. But it had to be done. Despite all the things happened Belle deserved to know Jungkooks’ plan prior to his arrest.

“What did you want to show me?” Belle broke the silence out of pure lack of patience with the thickening quiet.

Yoongi let out a deep sigh glancing over at Namjoon who kept his focus on the road rather than any of them. Pushing himself to a jolt of courage, he held the folded piece of paper behind him gesturing it closer to her. “This.”

Brows furrowed, Belle gingerly accepted the paper and unfolded it revealing handwritten words that only went through half the page.

“It’s the last letter he wrote before getting arrested.” He stated. Somehow the exchange proved to be a thousand times easier when Yoongi could not actually face the woman. However the deafening silence very quickly grew unbearable.

Eyes scanned across the words carefully written with the extra ink spreads at the end of most of the letters. Little dots scattered after a sentence because he was probably thinking up the best way to say something. Then the words themselves. Jungkook planned to give everything up to raise their family. He chose to give up his riches, power and reputation for family.

It was a lie. It had to be, right?

Why would he lie to his parents however? There was no reason to dramatically announce giving up his empire for his wife and child for people who were not even in the country. His parents wouldn’t want him to give up the empire. Jungkook didn’t say what his parents probably wanted to hear. Nor was there any use to lie to them about how much he cared about his own growing family.

It couldn’t be the other thing.

That wasn’t real, remember?

Belle felt her eyes sting and burn forcing her to rip her gaze away from the letter. Staring out the window, the buildings began blurring into one another either from her teary vision or the speed of the car. “Did you find this before or after the arrest?” She asked in a mixture of a murmur and whisper.

Yoongi pursed his lips together. “Belle—”

“Before…or after?” She emphasized her words in a more firm tone.

The male glanced up at the ceiling feeling a light constraint in his chest. A part of him prepared for this very moment where he would tell Belle the truth about Jungkooks’ intentions. Maybe his need to abide by duty overpowered it. Or maybe it was something a little more selfish than just his job. “Before. I found it before the show.”

Belle let out a shaky sigh, body deflating into the leather seat as she hugged the paper to her chest. “Why—why did you keep it from me?” Her voice cracked a little.

“What would you have done if I had told you?” Yoongis’ stomach may have dropped the slightest thinking of a very different turnout if Jungkook actually went through with his plan.

“You still shouldn’t have hid it from me.” Her heart began pounding and racing so hard, they could almost crack through her ribcages at this point. Did she do the wrong thing helping Jungkook get arrested? “He was—” Belle tried to let out a deep breath but it all collected in her throat preventing any of her nerves to calm down. They only grew more frazzled, tightening and numbing any ability to hear things clearly. “He was going to stop.”

“People like that don’t just stop.” Yoongi replied simply. “Give him three years of keeping his promise and he’s going to be back at it again.”

“That still didn’t give you the right to go behind my back like that!” Chest rose and fell as the woman struggled to gain a normal pattern of breathing. Her body burned like a volcano erupted from her belly, shooting uncomfortably through each vein.

“I was undercover, that was my job.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“I was helping you! The whole time I thought—” At this point all Belle could do was heave as all the heat rushed through her head, tears melting down her cheeks and dripping onto her chest.

“He—”

“Yoongi!” Namjoon finally spoke up glancing over at the older male before indicating to the left. “She’s getting anxious, stop it.”

Yoongi had no stubbornness to fight any further anyway except now he wished there was anger to at least numb down that twisting feeling in his stomach. He could hear the way the girl heaved to get a deep breath out while the car slowed down gradually coming to the side emergency lane.

Namjoon puts the car to a complete stop and Belle immediately climbs out before Yoongi could mentally prepare himself for it.

The fresh breeze of air felt new as if Belle had not been breathing it a few minutes ago. Her body cooled down although it merely touched the surface; heart still beat far too fast to really think in a proper pattern. Everything felt like a kaleidoscope of emotions. Reddening from anger, then blue splotches of deep rooted sadness, deep maroon when she found the space next to her bed empty and her own apartment looked foreign all the while accompanied with a vibrant yellow to reassure her everything was going to be okay. The best and worst feeling that brought confusion to her vulnerable, healing body.

These momentary crashes of panic were happening a lot more often than she liked to admit. Belle remembered the first time was two nights after the arrest. Her whole night completely spent with Taehyung trying to help her regulate her breathing until at an ungodly hour of four in the morning, they managed to get some shut eye. Although not enough to keep them alert the next day.

Being in the car usually caused the worst of it and it didn’t help with the letter now swirling in her mind. It was so much more easy to think that Jungkook was a horrible, tyrannous drug lord who didn’t care for anyone but himself and his empire. To think that he had other priorities in mind while Belle helped his enemy brought an unwelcome twinge of guilt.

After a few moments’ of leaving the woman alone to her space, Yoongi climbed out of the car into the cool air. Sighing, he spoke up to break the silence. “Belle I’m sorry I didn’t—”

“I would’ve stayed with him.” Belle answered hugging herself as tightly as she could before nodding briefly. “If you told me about the letter, I would’ve protected him.” Her features twisted, not a face of pride for a loved one but one of submission and desperation. “At first it was because I was pregnant, I couldn’t raise the baby on my own, I knew that, I knew that my baby deserved a good family away from the world he was in. So if Jungkook ever told me he was going to give the whole life up…I would’ve gone with him.” A long drawling breath passed through her lips as the words seemed to loosen a few knots in her body.

For a minute she tried to searching deep into her mind wondering if the words coming out of her mouth were true. But there was nothing. “Why didn’t the police ask me about this?” Belle held up the paper not really knowing she was still holding.

“I am the police.” Yoongi shrugged. “I just didn’t give it to them. They had enough evidence to ensure Jungkook was the culprit for all the drug dens. The assassination on the mayor was more information for the mayor only.” He dug his hands into his pockets. “About you going with him…” He let out a brief sigh. “Is it just for the baby?”

Tears dried up from the wind, her face feeling a little tight. She shook her head. A part of Belle still grew so used to pretending like she had to sugarcoat things or make it sound like she was in control. However once you allow something to feel broken, it’ll feel like falling and falling into an endless abyss until all you can do is get back up again. “No…it wasn’t just for the baby.” Belle’s bottom lip quivered. “I didn’t want to…I really didn’t want to—” She closed her eyes before hanging her head. “But I do.” Shaky hands held onto the letter again.

Yoongi could almost feel a dark cloud over them. Belle should have been moving towards a path of healing, not wondering what it would been like all her life. Granted there was no way to know whether she was going to continue helping him after reading the letter but it still didn’t give him any right to keep this truth away from her. The last thing she needed was getting played into another lie.

Belle took another deep breath as her body now slowly calmed itself down. “It’s okay though, right? You did it to protect me and other people.” She sucked in her bottom lip. “There’s no reason to cry about it now.”

“Belle…” He murmured taking a small step closer.

“It’s okay, Yoongi.” Reddened eyes met his gaze. “Just take me home please.” Belle padded past the male and climbed back into the car leaving Yoongi with a question of whether he just helped the woman or rushed through a mission just so he could get what he wanted.

-

The drive back to her apartment reverted back to its original silence. Belle placed the letter into her purse despite a few sensible sides of her advising she get rid of it. It would only hurt more to keep it and wonder but her body seemed to grow weak whenever the thought crossed her mind.

Namjoon parked in front of the apartment building and Belle gave the two officers a quick ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ before climbing out of the car.

Up the elevator and through the hallways, Belle felt a rush of relief coming back to her home again. At least she tried to call it her home now. It almost felt like coming into a hotel or just a really strong déjà vu as the old memories of her time here seemed so long ago.

Walking through the entrance, Belle tossed her purse on the kitchen island, leaning against the edge of the counter, fingers ran through her hair only to get a little caught in the middle. Pulling them out, she merely pushed the strands back and grabbed scrunchie from her purse to tie it back up into a loose ponytail. “Tae?” She called out softly.

The apartment was fairly silent at least until she heard ruffling on the spare room. Belle had moved most of her designs from the room to her own while some of her steel stands scattered around the living room.

Eventually the door opened with a half-naked Taehyung padded out of the room, ruffling his hair as his lips pouted out, eyes squinting into the light. “Hey…how’d the signing go?”

Belle shrugged, rummaged through her purse and seeing the piece of paper just sitting there. “I guess the same as any other divorce.”

“If you marry a mob boss, sure.” Taehyung stopped near the edge of the counter.

“What were you doing today?”

Taehyung rubbed his face trying to hide the wide smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. Despite the exhaustion across his expression, there was still this aura of joy. It was not hard to guess who may have caused that smile. Seokjin had created full freedom for Taehyung to visit Angel without any rules involved but for her protection against her ex-husband, she had to publicly stay married to him. That is until some solid legal actions were made to properly keep Angel protected so they could think of something more serious with their new blooming relationship. “Little this, little that.” The struggle to keep his smile failed terribly as the biggest damn grin graced his features.

Belles’ heart swelled, a more comforting warmth spreading across her body compared to the one she felt during the drive. For a moment she could remind herself that things were actually more okay now. Taehyung looked so much happier and she even saw him sketching the other day. Things were looking to be normal again. Except for the secret in her purse. Gulping down, she pulled the paper out. “Tae…” Eyes stared down at the folded paper before placing it on the table.

The older males’ smile faded away into one of curiosity when he saw the paper in her hands. “What is it?”

“Yoongi gave me this…” She murmured, fingers caressing over the surface. Much to her slight shame Belle could imagine caressing Jungkooks’ cheek. How warm he felt and he would almost always lean into her touch naturally. The thought made her abruptly stop the action, gulping those feelings down. “It’s a letter…from Jungkook.” Belle took a deep breath. “It says that he was going to give everything up for me…” Her stomach twisted. “For the me and the—the baby.”

It didn’t take a genius to feel the heat of anger already radiating from her older brother as he tightened his jaw. “He’s just lying.” Taehyungs’ voice grew dark, making it even more raspier than it already was.

“It was a letter to his parents.” Sharing the same thought as the other male would have been comforting but Belle knew better than to lie to herself just for the sake of making things easier to bear.

“Doesn’t matter. He’d never do that, he loves his power too much.” Taehyung shook his head.

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t care about his family.” Belle glanced down at the letter.

“There isn’t any family now.” He corrected. “You’re divorced, he’s not your responsibility and the kid—” Taehyung immediately pursed his lips to calm his frustrations down before he said anything he was going to regret.

Belle stayed silent staring down at her dress, lump growing in her throat. With the whirlwind of things that had been happening in such a short time, the miscarriage seemed a distant memory. At least until she was reminded of how fresh the wound still was. “I know all that.” She murmured.

Taehyung immediately padded closer to the younger standing next to her. His arm moved over her back, rubbing up and down her arm while his forehead pressed against her temple. “I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I know everything hurts right now but it’ll be okay.” He tilted his head to try and search her expression. “You gave up so much to take care of me. Let me take care of you.” Long fingers brushed back a few strands of her hair behind her ear.

Chest fell and pushed out with a small sob passing Belle’s lips, the heat from Taehyungs’ body in such close proximity providing her comfort. “Okay.” She whispered. Turning her body around with a light sniffle, she buried her face into his bare chest, arms hooking back and hands gripping at his shoulders.

How freeing it was to be able to curl up into Taehyung’s arms whenever her mind decided to play tricks on her. Belle knew she was strong, so many people including the reporters on the news continuously tried to tell her. But it never reassured her. Strength was what got her into this mess. For once, Belle truly felt happy knowing she was strong but could still rely on the people she loved when her strength wasn’t enough.

-

Tonight had exactly been that night where Belle’s mind opted not to give her a break. Hazy visions of running around the dark Jeon mansion, not even the guards were present. Then it faded to the house she grew up in with her parents celebrating Taehyungs’ birthday party while she peeked out from her bedroom to watch it.

Then her bedroom now in this current apartment. She forcefully looked to her side and saw a familiar sleeping figure, blurry phoenix tattoo on his chest. His large hand came over to rest of her belly but now she wore a white dress. As he raised his hand up, blood spread from one point all across until the color changed.

Pain jolted in her head when she heard a gunshot.

Belle’s eyes opened.

Everything stilled, light ringing in her ears like she just walked out of a club. Sweat layered in on her skin as if she was really running before passing out on her bed. The ringing got louder. Belle realized it was not coming from her ears but from somewhere in her bedroom.

Exhaustion still pulling at her form, she pushed herself up from the bed to look at her nightstand. Her phone lighting up the entire room as it vibrated against the wood and sounded a ring. A familiar name on the screen: Yoongi.

Brows furrowed, Belle turned on a lamp since going back to sleep again after a dream like that was not likely. She pressed the green button and put the device to her ear. “Yoongi? What’s wrong?” For a moment it felt strange hearing her own voice, still raspy from her slumber.

“Sorry I know it’s late.” Yoongi murmured through the phone.

“It’s alright, I’m up anyway.” Belle scratched the back of her neck lightly, eyes still closing but her mind still too frazzled to let her be pulled back in again. “What is it?”

“Could you—could you come outside? Bring your stuff with you.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, it’s important. I can’t do it during the day so—” Yoongi cleared his throat.

Belle pouted looking at the clock for a moment to see that it was two in the morning. “I’ll be down in five minutes.” She replied quickly before completely getting off her bed and walking to her closet. Leaving her deep blue pajama set on, she merely draped a big coat over her body. Messy hair tied up in a somewhat decent bun as the girl stared in the mirror with a subtle pink tint on her lips to make her look less exhausted. Though the puffiness under her eyes spoke the truth.

Tiptoeing out of her bedroom, she glanced around before seeing the door to Taehyung’s bedroom closed. A part of Belle wanted to let him know that she was going somewhere but at this point, the older male wouldn’t really wake up so it didn’t seem necessary.

So giving one more look over her shoulder the woman placed on some shoes and walked out of the apartment as quietly as she could.

-

The crisp night air was both refreshing and unwelcoming as the moon still smiled onto the world from where Belle was looking. Across the path from the building to the curb where Yoongihad his van parked, she noticed the dew on the grass glimmering under the silver light while the trees whistled in the wind.

Eventually Belles’ gaze fully set on the van where Yoongi had his lights on to ensure she could confirm it was him and not someone trying to lure her. There had been a lot of looming danger for Jungkooks’ enemies to try and put the woman in danger despite their end in marriage. Which was also why the police protection was put in place rather than just keeping her safe from her ex-husband.

Walking to the passenger seat, she opened the door and climbed in without a word spoken until her seatbelt was fully fastened.

“Where’re you taking me?” Belle asked in a calm tone though the lack of information made her heart beat a little too fast for comfort.

“Somewhere I’m not allowed to.” Yoongi answered simply, turning on the engine and letting it purr for a moment before driving off into the street.

Silence took over the cool air of the vehicle adding more fuel to the confusion filling Belle. The streets slowly faded into main roads and then it turned to a highway. She pulled her knees into her chest, looking out the window wondering whether to ask again or just figure it out when the car stopped.

But then Yoongi spoke up for her. “You deserve closure.” His eyes were completely focused on the road, finding it easy to explain himself when he wasn’t meeting her gaze. “We got our jail sentence for Jungkook.” He shrugged. “That was all we wanted. To break his empire down in a status that was manageable. But you—” He glanced for a second after gaining some courage but looked at the road. “Your relationship with Jungkook is more personal than anyone else who wanted him down.” Yoongi took a sharp right turn.

“Aren’t you going to get into trouble?”

“Not if you can keep a secret.” He smirked.

Belle couldn’t help but smile a little. Although now there was a light sink in her belly having to prepare for a meeting she never thought she would have. Police and even her lawyer reassured that she would never see the male again but somehow it didn’t reassure her as much as seeing him on more time did.

-

The car drove into a dark yard, the building towering over the car park with some bright white lights shining inside the cement fences. Yoongi drove towards the metal date, letting the guard at the booth know who he was. A piercing clang echoed through the air as the gate slid open, creaking terribly in its journey.

Slowly inching into the car park, the male drove closest to the building before turning the engine off.

Belle climbed out of the car and stepped towards the entrance. Footsteps crunched against the gravel until the older male stood next to her.

Through the entrance, the two were already welcomed in by the guards. However welcomed was a strong word for blank expressions and monotonous voices. Yoongi was told to stay outside while Belle walked in because only one person was allowed to visit at a time.

-

Past the dank looking halls, Belle walked under the greenish light, all the while hearing howling and moaning from the other side. Indistinctive words but it wasn’t hard to tell they were all expressing misery. Her mind now filled with the vision of that wide sweet smile and warm gaze stuffed into this crowd.

The guard opened a door for her revealing a room with a line of seats. A glass division in front of it. It was mostly empty aside from an elderly woman sobbing while talking to a younger prisoner on the other side.

Belle was gestured to sit in one of the center booths. Hugging her bag to her chest, she did as she was told. Eyes flickered over to the guard on the other side keeping a close on the younger prisoner at the other side. A metal door closed next to him. In the slight silence the girl attempted to take a deep breath and organize what she could say.

Then the metal door clanged open making her jump back a little.

A figure wearing bright orange padded in and sat on the center, eyes not meeting hers yet. He slouched down on the chair, hair mostly tied up except for large piece handing over the side of his face.

When his gaze flickered up, his expression softened and his posture straightened. Jungkook stammered glancing around the room before looking back at Belle almost convinced that this could be a dream. “I thought you weren’t allowed to be here.”

“Do you want me to go?” Belle gripped at her purse tightly, heart pounding against her ribcages at the anticipation of his answer.

“No.” Jungkook pursed his lips together.

Silence plunged between them. Whether it was comfortable or disconcerting was up for debate.

Belle leaned in a little resting her elbows on the little table before her, eyes momentarily glancing down at the little holes made to be one of their ways of clear communication. “I saw the letter.”

It didn’t take Jungkook far too long for his face to soften into one of recognition.

“Were you lying?”

“Would it make you feel better if I said I was?”

Belle let out a shaky sigh, another small lump growing her throat but she swallowed it down. “No.” She shook her head slowly. “I want the truth.”

Jungkook shifted in his position causing the handcuffs around his wrists to clink. “That day I yelled at you…” He stayed silent for a few seconds to take a deep breath. “I realized my priorities were muddled and I needed to figure out what was more important.” Adams apple bobbed up and down as his glossy eyes met hers now. “What I loved the most.”

Lips quivered as the lump only grew in her throat until she had to hang her head. “I didn’t know.” Belle whispered, breathing shakily. “I thought—I thought you didn’t care about us and then I saw Yoongi and—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He answered simply. “Yoongi was going to expose me with how close he was anyway. The new mayor was at my tail, it was bound to—”

“It’s not about the mission.” Belle closed her eyes and emphasized her words, fingers trembling a little. “I hated your job. I hated everything about it but I didn’t hate you.” She sucked in her bottom lip. “When I read that letter that you were going to give everything up for me, I felt—I—”

Jungkook searched the beauty’s expression, leaning in a bit more to maybe catch some warmth from her body or her scent. “What did you feel?” His voice came out in a whisper.

“I felt like I just—gave up something. Something that might’ve made me happy.” Belles’ eyes flooded with tears making her irises blurry before a single drop escaped down her cheek. “I kept thinking about how different it could’ve been if you weren’t who you were. Maybe if you were just… Jungkook and none of this happened. Maybe we’d be happy together.” She chuckled sadly before briefly covering her mouth.

“Would I have made you happy?” He sniffled lightly. “Even after all I did?”

His question floated in the air freely for a few moments as Belle wiped away the escaped tears staining her skin. “Maybe…” She shifted closer. Eyes flickered down at the holes again. Shaky fingers slyly hooked onto two of them not looking back at Jungkooks’ gaze rather looking at down her digits and sighed. “But I can’t…do this all over again on a ‘maybe’.”

Jungkook almost had his forehead pressing against the glass just to feel her close again. Instead the woman initiated the second best thing by putting her fingers through the opening of the glass division. His own rough fingers reached in to caress her soft skin before hooking them on top of hers.

Belle couldn’t help but feel a jolt in her belly feeling his familiar fingers on her again. It was a subtle action but it brought so many long slumbered feelings through her body. They both know this electric magnet between them was a ruse to hide the real truth. What they needed to say but could never admit in real life.

Until now.

“Do you feel happier now?” Jungkook asked, breaking the warm silence.

The real truth. The reason why Belle wanted to come here. Was it a real feeling of longing? Or just a strong attractions towards the comforts she created in the fantasy of her past? No matter how heartbreaking. It was a moment of weakness where the woman could only remember giggling under the sheets with Jungkooks’ warm hands all over her body, eating ice-cream late at night or giving each other reassuring words.

It was at this moment, Belle needed to remember that was only part of the story. Part of the beautiful fantasy they built together but now the show needed to end before anyone else got hurt.

Belle now spoke out the truth.

“I do.” She nodded, smiling through her light tears. “I do feel happier.”

Jungkook couldn’t control a wide smile of his own stretching across his lips hearing those words. “That’s good.” He let out a faint chuckle. “That’s all that should matter to you now, okay?”

Belle hummed lightly in agreement. “I hope you feel happier soon too. Once you’re out of here.”

He nodded finally succumbing to pressing his head gently against the glass, breath fogged up the surface as he spoke. “I’ll try.”

That was all they both needed to hear.

The curtains had been lifted and the fantasy dissipated. All that could be seen now was two broken individuals in their rawest form, making their slow but healthy path to a happier life. One they could finally choose for themselves.

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