#the prompt was to choose two opposite emotions and have two characters who feel one of them and have to switch by the end | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rcksmith · 3 years

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Desire — Kaz Brekker

(Photo not mine)

Requests: “Hello there! I've been around this blog for a bit now and you are an amazing writer! I was wondering if you would be ok with doing something with 21 28 & 29 from the smut prompts and kaz brekker? If you are uncomfortable please just ignore this!”

“Kaz brekker Smut prompts 28 66?? Love you💖!!”

“I can request Kaz smut prompts 29?❤️”

Smut prompts:

21. “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.”

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

29. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

66. “You know I don’t like to be teased.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, mention of shot, mention of desire, desire, mention of smut, explicit smut, NSFW.

Word count: 3k

A/N: All smut requests for Kaz must follow these rules.

I hope you like💕 English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — —

There was something about you. Something impossible to decipher, with a glow hovering around you like a electrical energy. Wrapping your whole body in a cloak of magnetism. There was something about the way you spoke, walked, laugh. Something about what it was like to be you, in your beauty and mysteries like a sphinx.

Something that made Kaz Brekker completely furious.

You couldn't be more distorted from the image, in Kaz's mind, than what was to be a peaceful woman. Calm, controled, with steel emotions and wit in eyes. Someone who, like him, knew how to dance the waltz of negotiation, manipulation, who could blend in with the shadows and know the best time to listen more than speak.

You were not like Inej, you were not like Jesper. Hell, you were like nobody Kaz has known in all of his 28 years.

Nothing reminiscent of calm and control would be used to describe what it meant to be you.

Your soul are stormy, loud, obstinate, too stubborn and too talkative. You needed to speak loudly, laugh, move, expose your opinions to the seven winds and to whoever listened the most. You needed to question, inquire, doubt and test the limits of any situation. A direct order for you would be an affront to your free and independent spirit. A command that would curtail your freedom or tame your strong genius was almost like an invitation for you to do exactly the opposite of what they had ordered you to do.

So, for a man of trained reasoning, subtly balanced world, and who was used to his every command being followed vehemently and promptly in blind obedience, such a personality like you was like introducing a disturbing factor capable of shaking all his judgments. Sand in a watch, or stone in a shoe, would be no more a nuisance than a strong nature like your.

The extraordinary stubbornness and mania to counter his orders - when, in your words, they were unreasonable - had made you different from all the women Brekker had ever met. Kaz liked challenges and responsibilities, a good puzzle, but you were on a level far beyond that.

You were a danger to his peace of mind. And you knew that. All his aversion to your indomitable spirit only served as fuel for your own mission in to piss him off. Few men were like Kaz Brekker, you knew that, with a strength of character too powerful to be ignored. He was not just comfortable in his position of authority as he was obviously unable to act in any other way than as a leader. His stoic figure and always so contained in a wall of indifference made you want to ruffle his hair to see if you could remove any emotion. And being a girl who hasn't always liked leaders, Kaz Brekker was a huge temptation. Few moments had been better than those that you managed to piss him off beyond what he could handle.

However, all the reasons why the two of you were so exasperating for each other, did not explain why the air crackled in ambiguity when your eyes met. The hemisphere was adorned in a thought-provoking, poignant veil, like a warm honey flowing down its throat, and there was something else in the way blood flowed like flames of fire through veins of you two.

Jesper said that the sexual tension between you was so tangible that it could be cut by one of Inej's knives, but you refused to think of Kaz that way. At least until that moment.

Not pure images of what the infamous Brekker could do to you between four walls swept you like the strong Arabian wind. Making you be surprisingly breathless. Kaz was not a man whose private life was exposed, nor was he involved with many women, but you have heard two or three of them when they were drunk saying that Kaz Brekker in the room could be incendiary.

Everyone knew that his touch reserve didn't limit him to anything, but that his job was at the top of the priority list and that sexual encounters were almost never on that list.

"It was not my fault!” Jesper defended himself one night, slightly drunk, sitting at the club's round table next to the other crows “I didn't know he was married to another man! That damn pretty face seduced me!”

"Did he seduce you?" You asked, skeptical and playful.

"I swear to God! And it had been a long time since I had sex with anyone, and I went… ”

“But you did sex last week." Inej laughed, chocked.

"Exactly!" Jesper said, as if he were obvious.

You laughed with your beer glass in your hand, taking another sip.

“Is a week a long time to not sleep with anyone?" Matthias retorted, trying not to laugh.

“Are you going to tell me that is not?” Jesper and Nina spoke at the same time.

“If a man has time for sex more than once a week, he clearly doesn't have much to do. And I'm sure I gave Jesper a lot of tasks that would keep him busy.” Kaz narrowed his eyes at his friend, and Jesper hid his guilt behind the rim of his beer glass, looking to the side.

"So you are saying that you are a very busy man?" You teased, trying not to laugh at the scathing look Kaz sent you.

"I disagree. The values of hard work and discipline cannot match the hot body of a woman in bed.” Matthias said, exchanging a brief conspiratorial look with Nina, who winked at him.

"There are more important things." Said Kaz.

"Like what?" You rested your chin on the back of the hand whose elbow was on the table, the playful look of a rebellious student.

"Progress." Kaz held your gaze.

He wasn't going to take your bait. But you didn't give up easy.

"Tell me, if God gave you a deal: all the hunger in the world would be extinguished in exchange for you never being able to have sex again, what would you choose?" your eyes had a teasing feline glow.

At that moment, Kaz felt a shiver up the back of his neck, like a warm breath of autumn. Something crawled, like a snake, across his rib cage and down to his groin, pumping blood like fire through his veins.

He held your gaze, but the feline glow in your eyes promised to contain the most ardent sins. Suddenly, Kaz's mind was flooded by the wave of obscene images of you, on his bed; moaning, squirming, shouting his name and being very obedient with every order he gave you.

He would make you such a good girl...

"I don't believe in God." He replied succinctly, the predator's eyes still in your eyes audacious feline's.

A big, satisfied smile spread across your face, and you said: "As I thought. Bad luck for hungry people.”

Realizing that he had fallen right into your cunning trap, Kaz got rid of your diabolical magnetism and cursed.

“I didn't say…” he stopped, impatient “It doesn't matter. I have more important things to do than waste time here.”

But the smile you hid behind the glass was noticeable to Kaz.

After that night, the crackling, gasping flame that circled the two of you intensified to alarming levels. Kaz could feel you holding your breath when he was too close, and you could see him squeezing his cane harder when you sweetened your voice for him.

However, regardless of Kaz's wanted to fold you at a table and put an end to your brat girl pose, enjoying the groans he was sure you would let out, the two of you still fought like dog and cat.

Just as it was now.

“What do you mean, I'm not going?!” You looked at Kaz, amazed, when he told you that you would not participate in the robbery that week “I know that security system like the back of my hand!”

It was true, what you had of stubbornness, you had of technological intelligence. There was no computer that you would not hack, a program that you would not hack, and a system that you would not unlock. Your genius with technology made up for all your lack of obedience.

But Kaz ignored. “I've already told you. It's a more dangerous mission than you're used to and we don't have time for the plans you come up with right away.” He needled you.

“Are you referring to Switzerland?” You were never anything short of direct and inquiring. It was logical that you would question every orden. “But I already told you that when the alarm went off your plan didn't work anymore! I was more useful inside to deactivate the alarm than waiting outside.”

And stubborn. Holy God, how stubborn you were!

"And it cost you to get shot."

"But it was just a shot!"

Kaz looked at you, puzzled. “Just?! And wasn't it enough ?! You put the whole team at risk!”

“But if I hadn't deactivated the alarm, we would all be arrested! And only I knew how to do that!”

"My fucking God, isn't there a speck of common sense in you?!"

But you answered boldly: "Not when you impose clueless plans on me."

Mortified would be an understatement to describe how he was now. What an unbearable creature! Kaz felt the anger spread from his neck to his face, igniting his breath and squinting his eyes in annoyance.

Why was it so difficult for you to follow a simple goddamn rule?!

“Besides, your initial plan was flawed and there was no reason for me to be out when it was necessary inside and...” And you kept talking!

If you had noticed Kaz's completely enraged state in front of you, you would have been scared, shut up and ran. But, truth be told, Kaz suspected that even if you knew how to read the murderous humor in his eyes, you wouldn't have left that office. Much less be afraid. You could argue with the demon. And you would probably beat him out of tiredness.

However, regardless of the desire to shake you up, to see if that put any good sense in you, in that second, watching you gesture with your hands, defending your point of view as if it were the england queen's crown, something swept Kaz's body from the top of his head with dark hair to the tips of his illustrated boots.

The sound of the world was drowned out by the flow of blood itself in his veins. His heart hammered hard in his chest and, in that instant, a sharp sting in his groin and the pit of his stomach set him on fire.

His gaze went down to your mouth, which kept moving. And when it came up to your eyes, your stubborn and defiant gaze sent Kaz's rationality into space. He dropped the cane abruptly, which toppled to the floor with a hollow crack, and advanced towards you in firm and determined steps.

Gluing his gloved hands to your face, Kaz silenced all your protests with a strong kiss. Hot, fiery, domineering. The kind of kiss that held years of camouflaged desire, years of irritability, years of an unnerving desire to make you shut up with all the perverse forms that existed.

You weren't afraid of him. But you should. You should if you knew everything he wanted to do with you.

However, as if you have been burning in the same desire for years, you responded to that kiss with the same urgency. The same hunger. Kaz slipped his hands into your hair, closing his fingers there and deepening the kiss with ferocity. He felt beside himself, like a hungry wild animal that had been denied food for years and that only now had its teeth set on its prey. You moaned against his lips, bringing your hands to his lean, strong biceps, squeezing your fingers there.

You both needed air, but neither seemed to give a damn about that. Misted of desire that burned like a fire in their bodies, Kaz pushed the two of you backwards, slamming your back against the wall and swinging a frame beside. You gasped, and the gesture made it possible for Kaz to invade your mouth with his tongue, hunting every piece of hot meat. You two fought the same battle in that kiss: invade, dominate, conquer.

They both wanted to take the waltz, but Kaz would never let you conduct the show.

He pulled your wrists up, pinning them with one hand against the wall, leaving you immobile while sinking his mouth further into yours. Kaz felt you try to get rid of his tight grip, but he was stronger than you. And much more when he have a objective.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He murmured against your mouth, the tip of his tongue playing with your bottom lip. “You know I don’t like to be teased.”

Was impossible for you to control the loud moan that escaped. Your body trembling with desire, your legs wobbly, your wet core vibrating with his words. Kaz Brekker was a fallen angel. With a beauty and charm you've never been immune to.

How can you think you'd win the dominance game with him?

And, like the fallen angel he was, his smug and arrogant smile painted the corner of his lips when he saw what his lines did to you.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” Kaz mocked “If I knew it was only necessary to do this for you to shut up...” he brought his lips closer, his voice hitting yours “I would have fucked you like the naughty brat you have been a long time.”

If his caustic and maddening kisses hadn't been enough to break you in half, that statement would have done all the work.

In that second, you hoisted your white flag, biting your lip in a needy moan and closing your eyes for a second by the overwhelming vibration of your core. God, you needed more. Whatever he gave you. Anything he wanted to give you. You just needed more.

"Are you going to be good?" He played with the dough you were in his hands, his devilish mouth going down your neck, leaving a trail of fire and debris wherever he went.

You agreed, desperately. “Yes, Sir."

That title seemed to do things with Kaz. Because in the next second, his mouth was back on your. More urgent, more needy, more dominating. You shifted your hips for more friction with his, and Kaz rewarded your obedience by pulling one of your thighs forward, making your skirt go up, aligning your thigh on his hips and giving access for his member to fit perfectly against your pulsating core.

You moaned louder this time. Fingers clenching, heart pumping frantically. Kaz pulled his lips away from you for a second, taking his hand off your thigh and bringing it to your mouth.

“Pull.” He ordered, referring to the glove.

You murmured a low, excited moan, bringing your mouth to the glove and clenching your teeth on the cloth at the top of his middle finger. Satisfied, Kaz pulled his hand back, watching the alabaster skin peel away from the leather fabric. As soon as he was free, he removed the glove from your mouth, replacing it with his own and stealing all your breath in that fiery kiss.

His free hand wandered over your thigh, touching you for the first time with a touch that promised to show you all the most delicious and secret sins in the world. His tongue wrapped around your again, and the moan you let out was even greater when his long fingers brushed against your wet, throbbing core.

"S-sir!" You sobbed, your hips rocking against his hand, desperate for more.

"Look at you." His fire voice beat against your lips, the tightness against your wrists getting stronger, more possessive "I’ ve only started using my fingers and you ’re already shaking"

Your body cried out in unbridled desire, sobs mingling with loud moans and heavy sighs as Kaz tormented you with his fingers. He touched you, slid, opened and sank, increasing the volume of your pleas.

“P-please" You begged, the body in need, the urge too urgent.

Kaz looked you in the eye, a dark, malicious gleam burning in his Egyptian blue irises. "Such a needy little thing, aren't you?" He teased you.

But you no longer cared about his teasing. With your lips swollen and red, your heart racing and the core pulsing in despair on his experienced fingers, you were already surrendered.

"Please. I n-need." You mumbled submissively, rummaging your hips in his hand.

"I bet if I wanted to fuck you against my desk, here and now, you would be very happy to do it, wouldn't you?"

He was foisting all of his dominance on you, bending you to your knees for him. And you knew that. You knew he was taking years of anger out on you. But you couldn't care less. You wanted him. Ardently. Desperately. And if it was a good girl Kaz wanted, damn it, you would be a good girl for him.

You readily agreed, your eyes shining in supplication.

“Good.” Kaz pulled you brutally off the wall, turning you over to the table and pushing your chest against the icy wood, pulling your hips at him. “Because that's exactly what is going to happen.”

Suddenly, desire and hunger roared like a wild beast. Kaz watched you, bent over his desk, obedient, surrendered, offering every inch of your body to him.

His breath was burning in his throat and it was no longer possible to order his thoughts, contain his euphoria. He would fuck you so hard that it would make that memory the only thought when you remembered him. When you dare to rebut his orders.

Kaz pulled you skirt up and your panties down, letting out a groan that sounded more like a growl as he saw your wet core. Pulsing and desperate for him. For anything he wanted to give you. It sparked a fervent desire that Brekker had never felt in his life, devastating any possibility of thinking about anything other than fucking you.

Playing with your fingers in your slick, wet folds, you whimpered again, the core pulsing whenever he teased you inside, pressing his fingertips there but never entering.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" His voice came over the top of your shoulder, hoarse, animalistic, full of profane desires.

"Please." You were quick to beg “I do what you want! But just...please, please… ”

You already felt your eyes watering from over-stimulation, your heart burning so hard it was beating, your core aching from emptiness.

You sealed the end of the game between you. Kaz had won. In a triumphant checkmate.

And you didn't have to beg again. Barely seeing when he unbuttoned his pants, you just reasoned his hard, hot, pulsating member by opening your from the inside. Claiming everything that was yours as his in a strong, desperate, hungry lunge.

"S-sir!" You screamed, your nails scraping the wood from the table, the core pulsing overwhelmingly around his rigid member.

In a more badly lunge, Kaz sank completely into you, moaning loudly as he hit rock bottom. The gloved hand slid over your shoulder, propelled you to him while the bare hand tightened on your waist, hitting you at a steady, raw, animalistic rhythm.

The sounds were pornographic, dirty and loud, echoing off the walls. The air was hot like molten lava, pungent and muffled, driving you two lost breath. Their bodies clashed as if the world was going to end tomorrow, in aggressive, rough thrusts. These were thrusts that made half of his things on the table fall to the floor, mixing in a mess that would serve as a reminder later about the sinful activities you two did.

You screamed when Kaz took on more force, his fingers squeezing you so hard that they would leave you with marks on your shoulder and waist the next day.

"Fucking hell!" Kaz snarled between his teeth, feeling your flesh throb around him, squeezing he with such desperation that he knew you were close.

You sobbed, tears streaming down the corners of your eyes as you pushed your ass towards him, trying to bring him as deep as possible, as deep inside you as possible. But every time his pelvis smashed into your ass, a loud moan and the feeling of being completely full drowned you.

You begged, pleaded, for something you didn't know. But Kaz seemed to know. Taking both hands to your hips, your pace became even more unperturbed, pushing you to the limit until you cum in a scream in his name, your lungs on fire. Kaz came close behind, sinking as deep as possible and pouring all the hot liquid into you. Almost like a brand.

The air was filled with sex, lust and desire, filled only by the sound of their ragged breaths that struggled to stabilize.

You were still panting when Kaz's voice came after you: "Whatever I want, don't I?"

A deal with the devil.

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nanaminokanojo · 3 years

Text

Play the Game | Nanami Kento X You | Part 8/8 [COMPLETED]

collection masterlist

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight (final)

"Play the Game" Masterlist

You stood by the door, watching the chaos in your brother’s bedroom as he prepared for his wedding at sunset, waiting for everyone to leave so you can finally speak to him in private. He was, after all, the only one in the family you cared for enough to inform him of your decisions.

People always say you and Gojo were similar. However, those very things that made you alike also set you apart. Besides the platinum white hair and remarkable blue eyes you shared – unique even within the clan – being the absolute obvious, the similarities stopped there.

You siblings were supposed to be akin to one another, but the same things they loved about your brother were the same things people abhorred about you. You and your brother were both prodigies. He was richer than the whole clan, all assets combined being the successful businessman he was ever since he was in his teens. It was as freakish as it was awe-inspiring. You were an artist of great renown with your multi-million dollar pieces and the youngest to have been dubbed as a national artist when you were the same age as him.

But where he basked in fame and acclaim, your prominence was fueled by infamy. Gojo built an empire that served as one of the pillars of the local economy. You produced artistic pieces that inspired execration and controversy. Undeniably brilliant, yes, but absolutely contentious.

Your brother was kind. In fact, he was the best older brother one could ever ask for, and that was not lip service nor was it because of your biases towards him. You can never discount how caring he is to you, how hard he tries to make you happy and how he would go through lengths as to be the idiot just to satisfy your whims. He was just genuinely good-natured although he appeared somewhat insouciant. He had his evil streak, too, which is established in the clan, but his goodness radiated like a light that followed him wherever he went.

However, you have long accepted that your side which reflected Gojo in every way when you were younger had long died. Altruism wasn’t one of your strongest suits and you were only ever affectionate to people you had deep, deep fondness for. And that wasn’t even something common. Even your parents had always been the receiving end of your lackadaisical attitude.

He attracted people, you repelled them. Being surrounded by the good people he called friends was a testament to that no matter how vexing his personality was, and more people want to be near him. Apart from your three friends, you didn't make any more and your school life sucked because majority of your classmates hated you. For what, you didn't know. You don’t think you will ever understand.

It was your seven-year gap that made all the difference, you liked to think. It was much easier to swallow than the concept of the whole cosmos conspiring to create two creatures to be equals but of the opposite nature. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be that way, but you will always be the one looking up to him regardless if you did not choose the same path as his; regardless of whether there were no comparisons with what either of you endeavored to do.

And above everything else, you loved Satoru very much.

“Got a minute?” You began, standing before him in front of the mirror. It was rather annoying watching him struggle with the cufflinks, and you didn’t think he would manage to fix the bowtie still hanging loosely on his neck. Thus, you thought of taking charge. “Give it here.”

Gojo was surprised, but he was nonetheless happy. He wore his heart on his sleeve after all, and you could only guess it was that vulnerability he risked showing that attracted people to him. You have only learned the intricacies of such a matter recently, something you had to agree with since it all made perfect sense.

“Thank you,” he said, tilting his head to the side, watching you work on his cuffs.

“You’re really getting married, huh?” you began, feeling yourself start to falter, but you have decided. You may not have gotten him the best wedding gift materially speaking, but you swore to let him in on what was going on with you, to be honest with him like you hadn’t been for the longest time. “Who would have known?”

“Am I finally getting that emotional pre-wedding sibling talk?” he asked, walking towards the seats by the window and looking out into the garden.

“You’re getting married, not being sent away to prison. I don’t even understand why this happens during weddings,” you quipped, sighing. “But I guess you could call it that.”

He smiled at you, patting the space beside him. You did as you were told, assuming the spot, but also looking out the window, watching as the organizers made finishing touches to the garden below. No expense was spared to make the occasion as perfect as it could get. You couldn’t argue with it. Gojo deserved the best, and to him, Utahime did, too.

“I’m waiting,” he said, breaking the silence that had befallen the room. “You’ve been pacing before the door for god knows how long when you should have been getting ready.”

“I got ready much faster than you did.”

“And you look beautiful.” He tilted his head to the side, eyeing you appreciatively. “Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re all grown up. And what a beautiful woman you’ve become.”

You smirked. “You’re looking at your mirror image after all.”

“Well, there’s that, of course.” He laughed slightly. “But I’m not just saying that because we’re basically the same person. You really are beautiful, baby sis.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, opting for it instead of his usual choice of mussing your hair since it has already been styled for the wedding.

You just shook your head. “Thank you, Satoru.”

“So, what did you want to talk about exactly?”

“The other day…” Your voice trailed off, thinking about what to say. It wasn’t that way before between you and your brother. He was always the easiest person to talk to, always open minded and optimistic about matters. But now that you were going to discuss something that he had vocally opposed, you were a bit scared of saying anything. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t do Nanami justice if you decided to hold back now, considering that he was more than ready to speak to your brother.

You’ve both initially decided to sit Gojo down and tell him about your decisions together, but you informed Nanami earlier in the day that you needed to have a proper conversation with him first. It wasn’t just your choice to be with Nanami that was the matter, and you wanted to get things straightened out with Gojo before he gets married.

“Yes?” he prompted.

“You said I don’t talk enough to you; that I don’t tell you things anymore.”

Gojo slowly nodded.

You breathed out. “Things changed. We can’t deny that. I grew up and you…well, you’ve decided you want to spend your life with Iori and build your own family.” Your lips curled up awkwardly as you tried to keep your emotions at bay. It was new territory having such talks with him when you’re used to your easy-going dynamic with him. “I’m scared, too. I mean, I can’t just bother you anytime anymore cause you’ll have your wife and eventually children to pay attention to and prioritize.”

He was taken aback by what you said, immediately drawing closer. “What are you saying, Y/N? You’re my sister. Nothing will change –”

“Our bond will not change, dude, but you have to admit that what I’m saying is true.” You took his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. You beamed at the fact that your fingers were structured in the same tapered manner as his. Even the shape of your fingernails were the same, just that his hands were bigger than your delicate ones. “What I’m saying is that even if you need to do that, I will be fine.”

“Of course, you will be. You’re my sister, and above that, you are your own person, and you’re stronger than you think. You’ve been handling things on your own for as long as I can remember.” He pouted, trying to act cute with you. “It’s disappointing, to be honest, because you’ve never really given me the chance to play my role in your life because you’re always the mature one.”

You were confused now. “What are you on about? You’re my only brother, but I can’t imagine anyone else holding that position in my life. You’re the best I could have asked for. I’ve always looked up to you. You’re my role model.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. The fuck are you so surprised for?” You snickered. “That aside, if you felt like I’ve been leaving you out, that’s not the intention at all. I always want you to be the first one to know what’s going on with my life…”

He clucked his tongue. “I understand you’re not doing it on purpose, kid. I’m just worried that you didn’t think I’m worth telling anything because, well, I’m not exactly a proper adult, am I?”

“You’re realizing that now that you’re about to get married?” you taunted him, jabbing your thumb towards the direction of the garden. “Should I tell Iori to call this whole thing off?”

He waved you aside. “Hey, don’t say that!”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Anyway, there’s something I wanted to tell you for a while now.”

“How long is a while, exactly?”

“Years and years.” You flashed him a rueful smile. “I just couldn’t figure out how to tell you because I am not exactly sure how you feel about it although you’ve told me many times you were opposed to it. What I’m saying it that, I know that fact, but it’s the motivation behind it that is beyond my knowledge.”

Gojo’s eyes rounded, realizing what you were saying. “Are you…”

You nodded. “Yes, I am talking about Kento.”

He just blinked and stood up, pacing around in front of you for a while that you had to stop him from doing it. He had such a bad habit of doing that when he is in deep thought, and always in front of you, too. He was making you dizzy.

You seized him by the wrist. “Please say something.”

“I…”

“Why are you opposed to it?”

He stopped pacing and faced you, taking you by the shoulders, his eyes starting to water. “Y/N…”

“Oh no, are you gonna cry?”

He furiously blinked his tears back, the action almost comical if it weren’t for the serious look on his face. “Because you are my little sister. You think it will be easy for me to just hand you over to anyone? My friends aren’t exceptions to that although I trust them with everything that I have. I will always, always worry about you when it comes to that matter because I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to be taken advantage of, and I don’t want to have to break either Suguru or Kento’s bones when the time comes.”

“I can manage the latter on my own.” You sighed, finding your resolve strengthening. “But like you said, I’m this old now. I want you to understand that I know what I am doing and I am confident about my decisions. Honestly, I didn’t want to talk about this as if I am asking for your permission. This is what I meant when I said I will be fine. I am not saying you don’t have a say in my life, but I am telling you this time because I want you to know before anyone else does.”

“Suguru doesn’t know?” he asked, eyes sparkling.

“Don’t be petty. I tell him things I can’t tell you just like you tell him things you can’t tell me,” but you nodded anyway. “He doesn’t know yet…I think.”

“So…you and Kento…”

You nodded again. “I’m in love with him, Satoru. And he feels the same way.”

“You are?” His expressions softened, hugging you to him. “You’ve grown. Really grown.”

You returned the gesture, holding onto him tight. “Please don’t ever think that I am leaving you out of my life because I always want to tell you everything.”

Just then, he pulled back, his brows furrowing while his eyes narrowed at you. “So, why isn’t he the one telling me this? Where is that bastard?”

You shrugged. “He wants to be here. Trust me. I just asked him if I could talk to you first because I have issues to resolve with you apart from my relationship with him.”

Gojo exhaled, nodding in understanding. “I understand, Y/N. But are you certain?”

“Yes. I’m scared of hurting him, but I’ll do my best, I guess.”

“Hmm, yeah. Maybe you should tone down on your mischief, too. I don’t want him dying of stress because of you. He’s still precious to me.”

At that, you laughed. “I know.”

He poked you on the cheek. “Alright then. If that’s what makes you happy, I won’t stand in your way. You have my blessing.” His teeth clenched then. “But I’m still going to have to talk to him man to man in case he thinks he’s off the hook.”

“Worry about your wedding first,” you jibed.

“I almost forgot about that.”

“I’m telling Iori.”

He shook his head, feigning panic. “Don’t.”

You both ended up laughing, joking about the guests who were arriving at the garden, poking fun at the relatives you both detested but had no choice but to invite. Just like that, you were back to how it used to be, easily conversing and sharing the same sentiments about things and same penchant for devilry.

Soon, the organizer came to his room, informing him that he needed to go to the garden to prepare. You reached up and fixed his tie and jacket for him, holding him at arm’s length to appreciate your handiwork. “You’re all set.”

“Thank you.” He smiled wide but you saw the nervousness in his eyes. “I’m getting married!”

“You are.”

“I’m more anxious about seeing Kento after what you told me,” he stated dramatically.

You eyed him witheringly. “Shut up and pull yourself together.”

He snickered then. “Kidding. Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

The two of you walk to the garden, your arm around his. He stood at the spot just by the last row of seats with you, grinning at you when he saw you looking at Nanami who was already dutifully standing on his spot, speaking to Geto.

“Concentrate on your vows, yeah?” you told your brother.

“I’m off.”

“In case we don’t get to talk before you leave for your honeymoon,” you began, “Just know that I am waiting for the speedy arrival of my nieces and nephews.”

Gojo laughed at that, but nodded anyway and said, “I’ll do a good job, I promise.”

“And Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you.”

“I know, kid. I know.” He turned on his heels and walked towards his place at the front pews while you watched, his steps leading you towards the very man you would want to see standing there when the time comes, his halo of golden locks bright under the setting sun but you knew your future with him would be even more brilliant.

The familiar bars of Johann Pachelbel’s “Canon” began to play in a modified, slowed-down wedding version made especially for Gojo and Utahime’s wedding, played on the harp, piano and violin, cueing the beginning to the entrance of the bridal entourage. It began with the entrance of the flower girls who scattered petals of different flowers on the white carpet that lined the long aisle.

Arches and bouquets of flowers festooned the garden, with gossamer cloth hanging about, interlaced with live wisteria that hung down from the canopy along with fairy lights that progressively turned on as the sky grew darker. White and pink dominated the color palette as Utahime had wished and the same goes for the reception area. It was probably one of the most beautiful wedding setups Nanami has ever seen.

But his eyes weren’t on the ornaments. They were trained on the end of the walled garden, waiting for your ascent on the marble steps where the white carpet extended, the march made more dramatic by the organizers by opting for a meandering aisle instead of the traditional, straight walkway for the bride. And it did achieve the desired effect when you finally emerged from the steps and into view.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips upon finally seeing you clad in that familiar faded rose gown he had first seen being fitted on you to perfection. He kissed you while you wore that very article of clothing not long ago at the couturier’s shop, and though he thought back then that he has never seen anything more beautiful, he was amazed at the fact that you looked even more gorgeous in it as you glided towards the front.

He loved you so much it hurts, and although you’ve both professed your deep affections for one another and decided to take things head on together, he still felt like he was in the middle of a dream he didn’t want to wake up from. You came closer, and once more, he was back at the semi-outdoor ballroom the first day he came that week, beholding the goddess that was you but seemingly in a different light – brighter this time, overwhelming him to the point that he had to remind himself how to breathe when you finally looked his way and beamed unabashedly, your affections towards him unmasked, real and not under the guise of a game.

“Kento,” he heard Gojo say softly just then, the man’s blue eyes furtively glancing at him.

“Yes?” he answered in hushed tones.

“Hurt my baby sister and I’ll have your severed head hung by the gates of the estate,” he said. “Are we clear about that?”

Geto snickered, concealing it by facing the other way.

“Understood,” Nanami said seriously. “I’m counting on it.”

When you were near enough, you smiled at your brother and Geto before turning your attention to Nanami. You winked at him as you passed by before turning towards your spot opposite them across the aisle, your attention trained towards the point where you came from.

He couldn’t stop looking at you, not even when he felt Gojo hold onto his arm, squeezing tight as Utahime came into view. He didn’t mean to be insulting to his friends. She was beautiful in her wedding gown and he couldn’t help but be moved by the loving look that your brother had on his face as he watched his wife-to-be come closer, guided by her father who will give her away as the sun set. It was poetic. A new beginning after a beautiful end. He probably looked the same whenever his eyes would find you.

The ceremony carried on as everyone sat down, waiting for the couple to exchange their ‘I do’s.’ their vows, rings and the much-awaited kiss. It was making him emotional, thinking of the time when he himself would draw your veil and get to claim you as his for life in front of everyone you both loved and cared about. He couldn’t wait for it, and he may be getting ahead of himself, but he wanted what Gojo and Utahime had with you.

As the minister announced the pair man and wife, everyone applauded and cheered for them. He did so, too, chuckling when Geto whistled loudly, being his cheeky self. Just then, he nudged Nanami on the side, grinning impudently.

“Is it safe to assume you’re next?” he queried in the same manner.

Nanami rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Who knows? Someone might actually steal your heart in the next months and we’ll be seeing you crying as you watch your bride walk towards you by next year.”

Geto snickered at that. “Yeah, right. You looked like you wanted to jump Y/N and replace Satoru and Iori at the altar all this time.”

“Who wants to replace my brother and sister-in-law at the altar?” they heard you say, appearing out of nowhere, your head tilted to the side as you shifted your blue orbs between the two males, but before either of them could answer, you linked your arm with Nanami who smiled down at you blissfully. You returned the gesture, your cheeks blushing prettily under the twinkling lights overhead.

“I see you’ve figured things out.” Geto smirked, patting Nanami on the back just as Shoko came into view, taking the former by the arm, claiming she needed a smoke. She pulled him away, leaving you and Nanami to yourselves, winking as they walked away.

“So, you told him?” you asked, cocking your head towards the wide lawn where the pergolas were, built on three sides of the square and closed by an elevated area for the band, all surrounding a dance floor under a huge, white tent above, also adorned with thousands of lights. It was your design, solely for the wedding reception and a form of gift to the newlyweds.

“Satoru did indirectly when he said he’ll have my head hung at the gates of Gojo Manor if I hurt you.” He shook his head, laughing slightly. “Bastard had the gall to laugh at me, too.”

“He nearly cried when I told him earlier,” you said, regaling him with how your conversation with Gojo went. “He trusts you and is actually afraid I’ll hurt you, too.”

He shook his head. “It’s all part of the process, isn’t it?”

“Mhmm.”

“We’ll take it head on.” He held your hand, twining your fingers together.

You nodded, squeezing his larger hand. “We will.”

Just then, your friends emerged from the reception area with Noabara taking the lead, mischief drawn all over her face as she approached you. “I took care of the sitting arrangement,” she said to you then turned to Nanami. “Take care of Y/N. Make her cry and –”

“You’ll have my head?” Nanami supplemented but Nobara shook her head. “I’ll tan your hide. Satoru gets your head apparently.”

At that, Nanami laughed, nodding nonetheless. But to your surprise, she also turned her attention to you, holding you by the shoulders. “Are you still playing?”

“Nope.” You pressed your lips together, shaking your head slowly.

She smiled then. “Good.” She glanced at Nanami. “You’ve got you a good one here.”

“I know.”

They left you alone after that much to his relief, but then you said, “Wanna play a game?”

His eyes rounded and he felt tension again once he heard you say those familiar words, always the preamble to every single mischievous stunt you’ve ever pulled on everyone including him. He paused and looked at you. “I thought no more games?”

You smirked at him. “One more won’t hurt.”

He sighed, giving in. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear to god.”

“So, are you in?”

“When did I ever say no to you?”

You giggled. “Great.”

“What is it about this time?” he asked, indulging you.

“Whoever gets a rise out of Satoru first wins.”

“The stakes?”

You just winked suggestively at him.

You forfeited. For the first time, you lost in your own game. It counted – albeit momentary – because you initiated the game…said the very words that began everything that paved the way to the result you’ve always wanted. But you did not really consider it a loss when for the long run, you’ve gained the very person you’d always gladly lose to at any given time.

After you father offered a toast for the newlyweds, the speeches began, starting with Utahime’s parents then yours, eventually moving on to you, then the bride and groom’s shared close friends. Geto had been rather irreverent as usual, pointing out the things that both Gojo and Utahime supposedly disliked from one another yet brought them closer, making everyone laugh when Shoko came up the stage and began her speech, saying, “Opposites do attract.”

You sat on your table with Nanami, both of you waiting for your turns. He was next in line after Shoko, smirking at you as he stood up and walked towards the platform and began his piece by congratulating Gojo, “for landing a very gracious woman who has the most enduring patience I have ever known in all mankind, given the grief that Ieiri, Suguru and I had to endure before Iori came to his life.”

He continued on with his witty address, pretty much reflecting what Suguru said and entertaining the crowd enough when he started to express his gratitude. “While I know that this changes nothing between us as the best of friends – including your nature that tested one’s forbearance – I would like to say thank you for many things. Thank you because you are, well, you…” He did a dramatic eye roll.

The guests laughed.

“Thank you because you are a real person who offered friendship to quiet, boring old me,” he said, droning on about the things he appreciated about the couple before saying the things he was thankful to Gojo about. “And thank you, because without you, without our friendship, I wouldn’t have met the very person I also want to walk this earth with for the rest of my life.”

You would have fallen off your seat when Megumi playfully nudged you if it weren’t for Yuuji who also held onto your shoulders from behind your seat, shaking you excitedly.

“If it weren’t for one Gojo Satoru, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.”

You felt all eyes turn towards you, including your parents and your brother, heat suffusing your cheeks as you tried hard to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot for everyone to see. Nanami has outdone you this time, and you knew you didn’t have a chance to go against that when he had so publicly expressed how he felt about you.

“I love her with everything that I am,” he continued, “and I will continue to do so even without your threat to behead me.” He raised his glass. “To Iori and Satoru. May you have the happiest, most prosperous married life from today and for always.”

Geto whistled loudly while the guests applauded. You also stood up, clapping your hands slowly as you shook your head. You’ve lost big time, backed by the fact that your brother stood up raising his glass as he said, “I couldn’t have wished for a better future brother-in-law.” He then looked at you, smiling fondly.

Nanami got Gojo to state his approval for everyone to hear. You can’t win against that even if you nearly made the latter cry.

And now, you were just happy to be in Nanami’s arms as he swayed you both to the tune the jazz band was playing, your arms hanging around his shoulders and your fingers playing with the hair at the base of his head while he held you against him by the waist.

“So?” Nanami began. “How’s that for a final game?”

“Not bad,” you acceded, smirking at him. “I’ll admit defeat.”

“Damn right, you are.” He smiled down at you, his dark eyes reflecting the muted, xanthic lights that surrounded you. “I have a couple of things I’d want you to do for me, by the way.”

You nodded slowly, keeping a straight face at the mention of his prize. “Rules are rules.”

His brows furrowed slightly. “Then again, you haven’t told me what you wanted when you won a week ago.”

You grinned, burying your face on his chest, listening to the faint sound of his heart. “But I did get what I want.”

“And that is?”

You met his gaze from under your lashes. “You,” you stated in full confidence.

Nanami nodded, suppressing a smile. “If you say so.”

“I wouldn’t wish for anything else.” You pulled him towards you so you could peck him on the mouth. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know what for, but as always, anything for you.”

You chuckled at that. Knowing him, he’ll make good on his words for sure, so much so that you didn’t feel the least bit of worry where your future with him was concerned. “You have to learn how to say no to me.”

“I guess, but since I won, have I finally made it to the list of people you don’t mess with?” he asked.

“As promised, yes.”

“No more games?”

“No more games,” you repeated. “Although I have to say it keeps things interesting between us. Don’t you think so?”

You both dissolved in laughter, the merry mingling of your voices coming to a standstill when he bent down and cupped your cheeks, running his thumb over your cheek before staking his claim on your lips while you returned the gesture in kind, locked in each other’s arms, glad you both played the game. And won.

-THE END-

I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this and kept up with my erratic updating. It's been a good 6 weeks. Thanks!

*I used “you” here, but since my character is Gojo’s little sister who is established to be his female clone for reasons essential to the plot, she possesses the same blue eyes and white hair. I did not exactly want to create an OC (although technically, I did by describing Y/N), but I opted for the best of both worlds in this fic, leaning more towards the literary aspect of it as opposed to it just being reader/you-oriented. I hope this isn’t iffy to anyone, and yeah, i’m not being exclusive or whatever.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

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cogcltrcorn · 3 years

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Is Technoblade power-hungry?

here’s techno analysis I did all the way back in january on reddit, i still like it, have it

While watching Tommy's pov of the "doomsday" I have been really annoyed at his characterization of Techno, so I've decided to actually write out how I understand his character. (btw, it's not a "I hate Tommyinnit" essay, I kind of get why his character is acting the way he does and I am not even particularly interested in writing an actual rebuttal to Tommy's description specifically. It was just an inspiration.)

Seeing Technoblade, one of the most powerful people on the server, violently oppose everyone in power may prompt one (ghm ghm TOMMY) to believe that he has political ambitions of some sort, that he wants power, control. That is, obviously, incorrect. Techno is always acting according to his beliefs. Everything he does is because and for anarchy. Techno wants freedom. But why? What fuels his opposition?

To figure that out, we can look at one of the most important events in Techno-lore. The Festival, specifically, Tubbo's murder.

Techno's reasoning, which is "I've been peer-pressured" is often disregarded or treated as a joke, but I actually find it very significant. When Tommy mentions Tubbo's death during doomsday, he implies that Techno was making a conscious decision to murder Tubbo and obey Schlatt, because Tommy can't even imagine the truth, which is: Techno is very easy to pressure. Tommy can't even imagine Techno (who's emotions he doesn't acknowledge) being scared, nervous, unable to resist.

Techno has a history of being dehumanized, denied autonomy. He is either perceived as a weapon, a tool to achieve a goal of some sort, aka "the Blade", or he is reduced to an animal. Wild, unpredictable, rabid even. Dangerous. The kind that should be hunted down and killed. He is either used, or, when he "doesn't behave", hunted down. He also is clearly dealing with a lot of mental problems, since "voices" essentially manifest themselves as constant anxiety, paranoia and violent outbursts. Techno's world is never silent, he is under constant stress. All of that makes him EXTREMLY vulnerable, maybe not physically, but emotionally.

And that is the reason why Techno opposes governmental structures. Because if force WILL be applied, he is likely to give in, either because of constant stress and anxiety or because he has always been exploited and used and that is just what he is used to. So he simply tries to get rid of the sheer possibility.

He is clearly trying to deal with the fact that he is so susceptible to pressure. He is leading a pretty hermit-like life, trying to pick his friends VERY carefully (he doesn't want to get used again and there are maybe two people on the server who actually view him as a person) and I imagine his "hoarding" to be a sort of a coping mechanism to make him feel safer.

Techno wants control, sure. Control over himself. Control over his own thoughts, ideals and actions. He wants to be able to choose what he fights for.

P.S. Please mind, that I am saying all of this keeping in mind that like, almost all characters on the smp have committed war-crimes (I kinda want to make an actual post about what actual war crimes have been committed on the smp...) so it's really not a "Technoblade is actually a good person!" post. He is traumatized and deeply troubled and I find figuring out the way his problems affect his actions and beliefs incredibly interesting. anyway, free my man he aint do shit

#dsmp #c!techno #technoblade #dream smp #dsmp analysis #dsmp lore

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 109

-The Tragedy of a an episodic format attempting to connect narrative in a series: (Tohru’s Background or Kyo’s Focus?)

One of my issues with se03, ep6 (other than it being 3 chapters combined horribly with new material added for shock value) is that it was weakly undecided who would be the focus? who would the narrative follow?: Is it tohru’s own pov abt herself? is it the gramps giving boring exposition abt tohru over weak still images of flashbacks or is kyo thinking abt tohru’s pain?

The truth is, it was all the above in the manga, but the manga gave each a chapter focus so that the chapter is well-directed with focused narrative. The anime weakly jumbled the 3 chapters together as they always do. You mix chapters & tada~ you got an ep, you only need a broad weak theme that connects the dots! here: it is tohru! & that’s it. As long as the 3 chapters discuss tohru in any form & manner, nothing will seem off if we put them next to each other in a 20 minute ep! right? riiiiiight ????

.. this was never a correct way. Just like a chapter needed a narrative direction, the ep is the same!!

ch 107: The beginning of tohru’s pov on her realization abt loving kyo.

ch108: tohru’s full pov of shock upon reaching the conclusion that she loves him & the beginning of her mom’s issues & abandonment.

ch109: Kyo’s pov abt tohru’s pain & his involvement, guil & the sheet hug.

ch110: (completely cut from the anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Kyoru’s part: the aftermath of kyo & tohru crossing the line of being in the most vulnerable & intimate, building towards a more crushing impact of the climax. The stronger & more painful their love is, the more it will hurt. Also a yuchi buildup?!!!!

-so, you see each chapter has a direction i& a narrative it follows independently that is weaved together to make a connected tissue of the overall plot. The anime puts the 3 chapters next to each other & we are lost on who to follow? kyo or tohru or the gramps. That’s why it feels tohru is weak & her two chapters worth of pov is stolen from her cuz it cut or shortened to include the grandpa, kyo, isuzu, shigure & let’s not forget (kazuma, yuki & haru) at the beginning, the dramatic shock value addition & OP & ED. All these take valuable screen time. The ep shocks us by moving from tohru to kyo. One minute she’s crying with him on the streets, next he’s at the grave & she’s visiting isuzu.

Kyo said he isn't going to the grave in the ep, upon seeing him actually going, I just assumed he wanted to avoid, hana, cuz I’m so invested in his story that I remember sth happened in se1, ep 14.. ages ago, The anime didn’t even allow kyo to inner talk abt avoiding hana... In their weird mind, kyo only inner talks in dramatic situations..See the difference!

Not only the writer (a) reminds us why kyo avoided the grave visit, she also (b) seized the opportunity to shine lifht onto an issue that will be the center of kyo’s struggles: Running away!

The anime introduce this in kyo’s pov only when kyo confronts tohru. Only when it was needed & couldnt be avoided. This is sth that will be the core of all the climax & the aftermath as well! Kyo running away.. How bad are you if you avoid inserting one line only that can be said in few seconds & establish great deal & foreshadow plenty!!!!!!!!!! I can’t for the life of my understand why short lines are cut from kyo when in the anime they have him be standing silent in the graveyard. Like slap the line above the silent scene!!!!! But doing so means the anime team understands tohru & kyo’s issues. They don’t. Not the slightest.

-Ep 6 signals the beginning of the anime moving from episodic format of se1, 2 & 5 eps of se3 & entering a connect plot. The anime doesn’t know how to do that & screwed tohru in the process. The protagonist’s main issues are one ep worth only. The antagonist main issues are one ep only (ep7). Ep 6, was treated as a stand alone ep (minus the inserted shock scene to create a lingering issue that needs a following ep to explain. TOLD YOU they don’t know how to make a series!). Thus the following ep 7 is akito’s focus. Everything that was established in ep 6 was pit on hold until akito reaches the craziest mindset for the climax. See why ep 6 was so bad? it is Should NOT be a stand alone ep.

-The plot connects kyoru emotional & physically: (Kyo’s chapter with a tohru’s focus:

Unlike the anime, the chapter knows what it’s presenting 7 where it’s going. Kyo’s issues. This ch focuses on him uncovering parts of his past as it connects with tohru’s. Unlike the anime, we know why kyo's connection to kyoko’s past. The anime is hiding this for the climax, no problem, it can still work both ways. However, hiding kyoko /kyo connection doesn't necessarily mean hiding kyoko/tohru connection. But the anime is cutting this to milk it in an ova or series next year~ no problem, it can still work if you handle this ep’s flashback better. for all the artistic creativity they inserted in the added scene, they failed miserably in tohru’s flashback portion. how?

By choosing a frontal pov shot in tohru’s grandpa flashback as if the audience are the ones who abandoned tohru or opening the door to find her alone. it does NOT work at all. why? the audience are encouraged to be like tohru since ep 1 as tohru is the mother, angel, fixer & endearing hopeful girl. The audience will NEVER abandon tohru, that’s why tohru’s story felt disconnected & weak in the anime. Not knowing what kyoko did, who would abandon such child?! differently not us. so why use the frontal pov shot? -_-’

-tohru confesses her pain to kyo without being ushered by isuzu, without any outside factor. She simply visited the grave & came home. hiding her pain. once again. like she always do. One question by kyo, prompts her to “ complain a little” call back to se1, ep5 as he advised. we see tohru get out of her shell little by little. NOT SCREAM OR SLAP. She opened up. why? cuz the story is abt “ opening the lid” not abt “ snatching the lid”. No need for shocks. Yuki opened his lide slowly, tohru even slower, kyo is resisting opening his altho it is cracking in this chapter. When your story focuses on character buildup it pays!

-I’ll give the anime credit when it due. The hug scene is so good both in manga & anime. but so awesome in animation, colors, music & voice acting. It’s breathtaking & painful. The most beautiful kyoru scene in the whole anime.

-It represents their mutual vulnerability, understanding, pain & determination to love the other but not also let go. kyo has made his mind to be locked in order not to hurt tohru & tohru has made her mind that she can’t let go of her mom.

You see, the scene’s meaning hits different between manga & anime; In the anime: tohru has already challenged the sohmas & screamed to be with kyo, while kyo is still decided to leave her. In the manga: they’re both at the same spot (undecided). I like both interpretations but I’ll choose the manga’s version. Simply cuz it means tohru is still uncovering her issues which means more focus on her, & more explanation of why cant tohru love her mom & kyo at the same time.

-This expression on tohru’s face is a the complete opposite of the shock value expression in ep 6! T_T. I do’nt even hate the shocked scene addition itself that much, I just think (a) this is NOT its time! Tohru deserved better spotlight! (b) kyo didn’t friggen forget! ah! THIS I HATE! (c) the whole shocked scene was so wasted in ep 7. tohru return to her stupid dumb lalala~ land, cooking & forgetting kyo. what growth? what determination & screams to isuzu? what enduring kagura’s slaps? nope! just happy & cooking, lalala~ no one was freaking over her mom’s picture~ lalala~ & kyo just slept it over~ shhhh... its okay. he’ll forget again... see? totally wasted!

The anime knows nothing abt connected narrative! augh!

Side Notes:

We see kyo asking the gramps why he’s offering him info abt tohru which is so logical! XD. I love it.

I’ve read ch 110 & wanted to insert the kyoru scene in ch 110 here, & put yuchi alone in a different post, then I realized I’ll need to talk abt it again once I analyze yuki’s own expressions! XD. so, I’ll put all ch 110 together in one post. It kinda half written by now, so I’ll publish it very soon in two days time. I didn’t read ch 111 yet tho.

I hope ch 110 is the last I feel this much disappointments in furuba’s anime & by ch 11, it hopefully be be minor changes altho I doubt that cuz the manga needed to dwell into tohru’s mindset & the anime kinda stopped after ep 6. so, yup! more big changes coming!

The sheet hug is so brilliant in theory & application! so romantic & so endearing! love it so much! The anime did it so well, too!

I love kyo’s narration & pov cuz it’s so refreshing change from the anime where he rarely does!

I really wish they kept the kyoko abandoning tohru part in the anime... sigh~ it has nothing much to affect her story with katsuya. so it won’t ruin the spin off/ ova or whatever it’s called.

I love the light focus on tohru in this chapter & how organic & natural it is opposed to how forced the plot seems in the anime....

#Anime Only #manga spoilers #Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #disappointed paper

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dramaheroine · 4 years

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#KDRAMAWOMENSWEEK | March 15th-22nd 2021

Hey everyone!! Yes, it is this time of the year once again. To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re going to spend eight days talking about and celebrating women in kdramas.

The prompts below were written by me, @dramaheroine. Special thank yous go to @kdramanetwork and @kdramaspace for creating the gifs and for the valuable support and @gudongmae for the vital help and feedback.

Tag your posts #kdramawomensweek and #kww2021 so they are easier to find, admire and reblog. If you have any questions/concerns, contact @dramaheroine, @kdramanetwork and @kdramaspace.

Posts can be gifs, photos, videos, audio, text posts, fanfic, or another form of edited content. If your post includes non-original work (so if you did not make it yourself), please credit the content creator.

Feel free to draw from drama classics, unknown gems or hyper-popular hits or shows that are currently airing. All K-dramas are welcome. Also “women” here is inclusive of non-binary folk, trans women, etc. We are very excited to see what this year’s creations will be!

March 15th. Day One: “Doubles/Foils”

Female characters who mirror each other in a major way such as (secret) twins or women with the same name or appearance or two female characters in the same K-drama who are written to be the foil to each other (a character who is made to be the opposite of a main character to highlight qualities of a main character).

March 16th. Day Two: “The Other Woman”

This prompt is all about the female characters who are “the other woman” in a relationship or act as an obstacle to an existing relationship in some way. Perhaps you can choose a female character who is the mistress, the unlucky-in-love, pining second female lead, the romanticised first love, the dead ex-girlfriend/wife, the male lead’s dream girl that he does not end up with or the neglected, ignored wife/fiance.

March 17th. Day Three: “Writer's Toolbox”

Inspired by the Toast’s How To Tell If You’re In a Novel series, complete the following sentence: “If I was the heroine in a (BLANK) drama, I would....” The blank can be any K-drama writer you choose or possibly a director or genre. Think of the common traits and characteristics that your favourite writer/genre/director’s female characters have. Create as long a list as you like. Have fun!

March 18th. Day Four: “All the Weirdos and Loners”

This is for the female characters who spend a lot of time alone, who are highly introverted, who are outsiders within their respective communities, who are considered to be strange or weird by the vast majority of the other characters or who remain single by choice at the end of the show. Let’s celebrate the unconventional, unusual, independent and ordinary yet extraordinary k-drama ladies breaking kdrama heroine conventions here.

March 19th. Day Five: “Catering to Me”

Think of a drama with a female Kdrama director (rare but they exist). Find a scene/moment in that K-drama that was for you a display of “the female gaze”. The female gaze has many definitions but for this, I would define it as a scene/moment that for you where it is clear that it was crafted by a woman and provides insight into the lived female experience. This could be about the point of view or angle the scene takes, the way that the scene is shot/framed, what the director places emphasis on, what they left in or left out or just how a female character is treated in that moment.

March 20th. Day Six: “Queen of Rom-coms”

Actresses who have built their careers around starring in romantic comedies, the oft-maligned, traditionally female-centric genre. You can highlight the variety of characters that they have been able to play in a rom-com. Alternatively, celebrate all of your favourite K-drama romantic comedy heroines and tell us why you love them so much.

March 21st. Day Seven: “Emotional Support Character”

It has been and still remains an incredibly difficult time for all of us under this pandemic. This prompt is dedicated to female characters who struggle with their mental health (subtext or text) and have resonated with you or female characters who have been comforting or inspiring to you recently.

March 22nd. Day Eight: “A Moment of Peace and A Moment of Tenderness”

Finally, female characters who find peace within themselves by the end of the story or finally are just able to relax and rest after much struggle. Alternatively, choose your favourite moment(s) or acts of tenderness, warmth and care between female characters.

#kdramawomensweek #here is the surprise!#I am very excited to see everyone's responses to the prompt #kdramas #an announcement #into the ring #kww2021

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bushcloverprincess · 5 years

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Let me explain Sai and Ino's love life to everyone who is still saying "I don't know how they ended up together": 💜

People really be jumping to Boruto series without knowing what has happened in the Naruto series after the war arc. So here is Sai and Ino's relationship throughout the entire Naruto canon timeline.

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN MANGA

First and foremost, Sai and Ino met in the very early episodes of Naruto Shippuden. Ino immediately had a crush on him because he was handsome, also noting that he looked like Sasuke. That is basically Ino, the flirty girl as we know. Having a crush and falling in love are two very different things.

Sai was introduced as a character with no emotions and feelings whatsoever. The reason why he thought Ino is "ugly" in their first interaction was because he didn't know what a real beauty is. He had no emotions/feelings, how do u expect him to understand beauty? Ironically, despite this, he called the opposite of what he thought at her, "Mrs. Beautiful" - building the foundation of SaiIno (Also Ino being the only person who didnt get insulted by Sai's nicknames.)

So, here Sai thought Ino was ugly and Ino had a crush on Sai solely because he was handsome. Two flaws, alright. Most of the fans know their relationship up to here. But that's not even close to the end of Sai and Ino's relationship before their marriage.

Moving on. As Sai and Ino are both side characters, they had almost no interactions on-screen afterwards in the manga, until the Fourth Shinobi War Arc. In the war, both Ino and Sai had each other in their Infinite Tsukyomi dreams. Ino dreamed of Sasuke and Sai fighting over her and Sai dreamed of Ino, along with his other close friends acknowledging his smile. (Sai's dream was in anime-only).

This proves that both have had interactions off-screen to the point that they were already very close friends before the war began. Morever, their Inifinte Tsukuyomi dreams reveal that by the war arc, Ino likes Sai as much as Sasuke (as she did not choose Sasuke over Sai in her ideal life/dream), and Sai likes Ino complimenting him.

During the long timeskip after the war Ino and Sai eventually starts dating. This was revealed in a spin-off manga chapter written in Akamaru's point of view by Kishimoto, where he spotted Sai and Ino together on a date and described them as "A couple totally on fire".

Around a decade later, in the very last chapter of the Naruto Shippuden manga (Chapter 700), they were shown married with a son together.

That's the end of Naruto manga contents for Sai and Ino's relationship, as expected not much because Naruto manga is NOT a romance manga.

BLANK PERIOD

Now, for those who wanted to know more about Sai and Ino's romance and the ship's further build up during the timeskip between the end of war and Boruto (Blank Period), there was a Novel series called Hiden. (Note: All Blank Period Hiden Novels are approved canon, illustrated and proof-read by Masashi Kishimoto, the author of the Manga himself). The Blank period is a part of the official canon timeline.

As mentioned above Novels are the stories of all the important events that took place during this blank period, including the romance between the characters. Get ready to hear one of the cutest love stories of Naruto series.

1- SHIKAMARU HIDEN NOVEL

Ino lost her crush on Sasuke long back and is pretty much not into any relationship. This was until in Shikamaru Hiden events, Ino read a letter which describes Sai's tragic life. Since then Ino wanted to know even more about him than she already does. Ino was sent on a mission with her fellow ninjas to help Shikamaru and save Sai, who has been caught in a very strong enslaving genjutsu by some enemies. Her top priority after reading the letter was nothing but to save Sai.

As they confronted the genjutsu-controlled Sai, for some reason Ino believed that she is the only person who could save Sai. Ino risked her life and used her Mind Transfer Jutsu on Sai, in other words, Ino's soul entered Sai's body. Ino dived deep into his mind but all she could see was darkness. She didn't give up and tried to find his soul by diving even deeper into his mind despite the fact that it could be a threat to her own soul too. Ino finally found Sai's soul crying deep inside, covered with his memories and darkness. Ino learnt about him (in the novel it says "She knew all about him so much that it hurt her"). Ino called out for him and showed his soul the path out of the darkness. Ino cleared his mind hence saving him from the genjutsu, also giving colors to his colorless soul. Ino's soul then hugged Sai's soul with a heartfelt smile ~ A hug between two souls.

This is the point where both of them fell deeply in love. The point Sai achieved his dream, the point where he got his emotions and feelings completely back. This is the first time he felt this much kindness from someone and learned what a true beauty is. When Sai is successfully saved by her, the two wake from Ino's jutsu and Sai finds himself resting on Ino's laps. Sai instinctively reaches for Ino's hands and he expresses his gratefulness to her, as her eyes begin to tear up, by affectionately calling her "Thankyou, Miss Beautiful". This time, he truly meaning this unlike the first time he called her beautiful. "Idiot" - replied Ino. And this time, Ino fell in love with Sai, not because he resembles Sasuke unlike the first time they met. This interaction was the complete opposite of the first time they met. This is how their love story began ladies and gentlemen. *Tears because how beautiful this is*

2- SAKURA HIDEN NOVEL

Later, while Ino and Sakura was on their way to Sand village to participate in an international Medical Ninja Conference, Ino reveals her love for Sai to Sakura after what happened. She was thinking of confessing her love to him properly but was unsure which flower to give him: Flower Dogwood or Lavender. Ino, the botanist explains that in Flower language, Dogwood means "Accept my feelings" while Lavender means "I'm waiting". Sakura tells that Ino was more of Flower Dogwood type, as she wants a direct answer from Sai. Whilst for Sakura herself, Lavender will be the best because she is willing to wait for Sasuke.

When they returned back to Konoha after the conference, Ino finds out Kakashi has sent Sai alone on a dangerous mission. Ino gets worried and questions his safety, and is angry that Kakashi let him go alone. After Sai returned and Sakura got kidnapped, Ino ran to Sai's place to inform him about Sakura's disappearance. When she arrives, she becomes flustered to see Sai only in his underwear, as he was taking a shower right before she came.

Following the crisis, Sai and Ino together goes on a mission alone to save Sakura upon Hokage's orders. They are the only couple besides Sakura and Sasuke who did a mission together alone in canon. Sai and Ino flew on a Choju Giga Bird, and Sai comforted Ino as she was afraid flying and had a difficulty maintaining the balance, causing her to feel a sweet warm sensation well up within her heart. They both together infiltrated a hideout. The Saiino duo's teamwork was amazing and flawless.

After Sakura is saved, they had to fight the enemies. Ino, who has been usually positioned near the back lines during close ranged combat situations was now instead supporting Sai with her taijutsu and healing Sai's injuries with her medical ninjutsu. Sai and Ino confronted a very powerful enemy, Magire who was drugged with Tailed Beast chakra, but their flawless teamwork and bond strength lead to their victory. Sakura, and Sai himself compliments Ino on how well she works together as a duo with Sai, getting Ino blush even more. Later Sakura prompted Ino and Sai to have a date dinner together, where Ino possibly confessed him with flower Dogwood and that is when they started dating.

3- KONOHA HIDEN NOVEL

As usual, Sakura and Ino keeps on fighting and competing, and now Ino takes a lot of pride with her blossoming relationship with Sai, claiming she has better love life than Sakura and that she will get married before her, much to Sakura's infuriation. After some days, Sai and Ino attended Naruto and Hinata's wedding ceremony as a dating couple holding hands, with everyone around them admiring their relationship. (Bonus: SaiIno is the only couple that was featured in The last opening of Naruto, Opening 20 (Karano Koroko).)

4- SASUKE SHINDEN: BOOK OF SUNRISE NOVEL

Later, after Ino was hospitalized due to the injuries she had after stopping an invasion, Sai was with her at the hospital all the time. Shikamaru and Chōji decide to visit Ino at the hospital and find that Sai is watching over her whilst she sleeps as he sketches a flower that Ino's mother brought her. Shikamaru and Chōji asks Sai to come with them for some investigation, but Sai remains, claiming that he will leave as soon as he has completed his drawing, however, Shikamaru notices several of Sai's already near-completed sketches in the trash as he exits. Sai intentionally made many half-complete drawings and discarded them before completion because he doesn't want to leave Ino. Shikamaru and Chōji realize that Sai did not want to leave Ino's side and begin discussing how much he has changed from the emotionless man he used to be after he met Ino.

Ino and Sai then got married, and had a wonderful wedding ceremony where Shikamaru and Choji were both so happy for Ino that they cried and wished their sensei, Asuma was there to see Ino. Sai and Ino's wedding ceremony is the only ceremony to have been mentioned after Hinata and Naruto's wedding. Well, that's the end of their relationship's details in the Blank Period Novels. Sweet, right?

NEW ERA: BORUTO ANIME, MANGA AND NOVELS

Sai, now married to Ino is the only male known to have taken his spouse's surname upon marriage, being now a part of the great Yamanaka Clan, finally having a family of his own. This family confronted gossips and prejudice from the villagers, and Ino's relationship with Sai was not well received by the Yamanaka Clan, all due to Sai's dark past in the currently disbanded Anbu Root. Despite all this, they managed to be as happy as ever. It is when he married to Ino and got to hold Inojin in his arms, Sai finally felt free and got control over his own life after years of being a puppet to Danzo.

As Boruto series is the story of the new generation, it's main focus from the Yamanaka Family is obviously Ino and Sai's son, Inojin Yamanaka. (Trivia: It is believed that Inojin's name is a mixture of Yamanaka Clan's customary name prefix "Ino" and the suffix "jin" is reference to Sai's late brother Shin). Sai has already told his son Inojin how his mother, Ino saved him with her shintenshin and how they fell in love, and Sai uses the same method (a hug or an affection) to calm Ino down when she gets upset or angry now. Boruto notes that Sai's only weakness is when it comes to Aunt Ino. According to Ino, Sai has never forgotten their anniversary throughout more than a decade they have been together. Although Ino remains as boisterous as ever, Sai is the sole person that gets Ino to fluster despite how angry or upset she is since beginning and even now.

According to Kakashi, Sai and Ino is the most beautiful couple he could imagine, and they both are so close that it seems they are glued to each other, noting that they are like a peculiar picture. Sai and Ino also often gets teased by their friends because how close and affectionate they are even in the public. Ino takes pride in Sai's ninja abilities and Sai takes pride and is proud of Ino's abilities. Ino is thankful that she moved on from Sasuke (Her childhood crush), because according to Boruto Manga, Ino now she feels bad for Sakura, whose husband, Sasuke visits her only very rarely, noting that she has been living such a perfect love-life that she cannot even imagine having a husband who is hardly at home. She is thankful for Sai, so is Sai for Ino. In one of the Boruto Novel it is stated about Ino:

"Because her husband was the one she knew was the best in the world" ~ 💜

SO,

I do not think this much of content, especially for a side-couple is less at all. It's more than enough, It's explained perfectly well. Only people who aren't having an idea on Naruto complete series will question or doubt SaiIno's relationship. So "Random couple", "Ino likes Sasuke because he looks like Sasuke", "Sai is a Sasuke rebound", "Ino lost to Sakura in love-life becuase she couldn't marry Sasuke" arguments are all total crap ~ 💕

AND FOR THOSE WHO SAYS SAI AND INO DOESN'T HAVE CHEMISTRY...

Sai was an emotionless and socially awkward boy who worked for the Root Section, meanwhile Ino was an emotional and lively sociable girl who works at a flower Shop, what else do you see other than the raging chemistry between this root and flower? The flower that baths in sunlight and the roots that grow in the dark! It has everything. They perfectly fits into the Yin (Sai) and Yang (Ino) philosophy Kishimoto seems to have considered when making the couples and friendships. As mentioned above Sai is the only man who can make Ino blush since beginning and even now! Ino had no problem with glomping on Sasuke and hugging him, but Sai calling her "Beautiful" makes her blush - See the difference? They both are perfect for each other. Ino gave colours to Sai's black & white life. Ino was a rainbow when Sai was colour blind. Not to mention they both wear crop-tops with exposed midriff. In addition Sai and Ino is the most affectionate couple who has shown most PDA (Public Display of Affection) content and closest moments together so far. I'd argue they have the most chemistry and couple symbolisms.

There, its done.

I hope its clear how they ended up together now 💕 So again, saying SaiIno is forced or random / Calling Sai a Sasuke Rebound / Saying Ino settled for Sai because she didn't get Sasuke as a plan B / Ino lost to Sakura in love life / Sai and Ino don't have chemistry- is making yourself a huge 🤡, actually an entire 🎪

Thankyou 💜

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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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hm, while im still here and thinking about it

i’ve seen a lot of posts comparing rayaari to catradora, mostly positively but some also using the similarities to call rayaari an abusive/toxic ship, and i feel like a lot of people are missing key differences. and for me, as someone who was not completely satisfied with s5 of spop and never liked or shipped catradora for a lot of reasons, but who deeply enjoys and ships rayaari, there’s something very key that raya does right which i believe spop did wrong with respect to rayaari and catradora.

and it has everything to do with their history.

before adora left the horde, she had a history of physical and emotional abuse--primarily by shadow weaver, yes, but also by catra. we get a lot of memories from their past, and their relationship involved a very toxic codependency with a heavy dose of abuse--adora trying to protect catra but, when she failed, catra lashing out at her, verbally and physically (that scene where young!catra slashed across young!adora’s face w her claws left my stomache in knots for hours). they were set against each other by shadow weaver in a very classic scapegoat vs the golden child dichotomy, but that doesn’t erase the harm catra did long before adora left the horde.

(in many ways, their relationship was very like zuko and azula’s, although their roles in their primary caretaker’s eyes are reversed, with adora being most like zuko if zuko had been the golden child, and catra being similar to azula if she’d been the scapegoat instead. adora being the ‘preferred child’ in shadow weaver’s eyes doesn’t make her any less SW’s victim, and it didn’t do anything to protect her from catra when she lashed out as a result of SW’s abuse. in fact, i’d argue that it made her even more vulnerable, and we see in the show that she winds up blaming herself for not being able to save catra when they were children--even though that very much was not her job--and this is never properly addressed by the narrative. at least, not to my satisfaction. obviously, mileage on that particular score may vary.)

when you combine their history along with every awful thing catra did in the show proper, adora coming to realize she was in love with catra the whole time and not requiring (nevermind receiving) any kind of actual apology for that abuse or for, yknow, trying to destroy the world multiple times, it winds up leaving a very sour taste in my mouth. it doesn’t help that catra kept digging herself deeper and deeper for the entirety of the first four seasons, despite multiple chances to change and begin to make amends for her behavior (and lord knows i’m not trying to say a redemption arc should be linear, but you have to make progress in order to regress, and catra never got that far), which left the entirety of her redemption arc to fight for space in the final season with an entire galactic war.

except that it didn’t even really do that. catra saved glimmer at the eleventh hour (and that was a sacrifice, i won’t deny it) and then got brainwashed, and... that was it. she was ‘accepted’ by the group almost immediately, and all she had to do was stop being grouchy at them for saving her life.

did she ever actually apologize for anything she needed to apologize for, by the way? i genuinely can’t remember. i know she said she was ‘working on’ her anger and apologized for that but like, babe, there’s four seasons worth of shit and eighteen years before that which you really need to unpack before you should be telling adora you’re in love with her and starting a relationship. i’m just saying.

and all of this is without talking about the fact that, especially in regards to relationship development and plot pace, you will tend to expect more out of a television show compared with a movie. i’m a lot more ok with namaari’s redemption being a little rushed and coming down to a few of her own choices and the other characters choosing to forgive her in a less than 2 hour movie than i am with a television show that takes place over 5 seasons with 4 sets of 12 episodes. even cartoon length (roughly 22 minutes an episode when you exclude the credits). that’s a few hours shy of 20 hours worth of material. they had a lot to do, sure, but they also had a lot of room to do it in, and it was a deliberate choice not to start catra’s redemption even a season earlier--which, again given what it had to compete with in the last season, was ultimately to the show’s detriment imo.

so...........that was a very long tangent, and i’m sorry, i just have a lot of residual feelings of dissatisfaction about spop and catradora which i still needed to let out and this was a convenient post for it. but my ultimate point is, by comparison, rayaari is a much less toxic dynamic.

namaari betrays raya’s trust in the beginning, sure, and there are hints that they probably had a lot of run-ins during the six year timeskip given their familiarity, but in all that time they were enemies. that’s why enemies-to-lovers usually doesn’t involve outright abuse, unless there’s another facet to the relationship (ie catradora’s relationship pre-series)--because two people on opposite sides of a violent conflict being violent towards one another does not equal abuse.

and yeah, namaari betrays raya’s attempt at trust again--or seems to, resulting in the cliffside scuffle leading into the movie’s climax--but she also comes back of her own volition. she returns with her shard of the dragon gem, helping raya and her friends fend off the druun, when she could have run and attempted to save herself. that, i believe, is what ultimately prompts raya to trust her one last time. i believe that namaari believes she was about to put down her crossbow and never intended to actually shoot sisu--the horror on her face when the dragon falls to her death is proof enough of that, as is her final desire to just... give up and let raya take her revenge--and she proved that to raya by coming back and risking her life to help them in that final battle.

of course they probably have a lot to talk about and namaari has a lot to apologize for, but i can forgive a two hour movie for leaving that to the viewer’s imagination (especially when there is no expectation of a romantic relationship between the characters in canon--it’s catradora being canon which makes all the rest of it land so poorly for me) than i can an 18 hour television series.

again, opinions may differ on this score, and that’s fine. i just wanted to share my own thoughts.

#raya and the last dragon #rayaari #raya #namaari #disney raya #spop #catradora salt #only sort of but just in case

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years

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jack pot ; part 1 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader, seo changbin x female reader for like 2 minutes ⇢ word count 7.5k ⇢ genre fluff, angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way), slight smut ⇢ warnings drug use!!! & lots of it (marijuana), grinding, implied smut ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n yo!!! disclaimer: this initially was going to just be a long one shot but i decided to split it up into 3 parts, so just to let u all know part 1 & 2 does not have a ton of hyunjin interaction, they’re more character/plot building. part 3 is when things will get spicy ♥︎ i hope u enjoy! if u rb make sure to let me know what u thought in the tags mwah also i finally switched from ___ to yn are u guys proud of me :)

prelude.

Sometimes you really, truly, honestly think you could go right ahead and kill Han Jisung.

You say it all the time. Sometimes it’s a simple, “I will literally kill you,” or when you are feeling extra spicy, “Sleep with one eye open tonight.” He, of course, laughs it off like you aren’t vibrating with the urge to kick his kneecaps in. You seriously have lost count of all the times he has brought you to the brink of insanity.

And honestly, you have watched enough murder documentaries on Netflix that you probably could do it, but, you know, spending the rest of your life in prison does not sound that appealing. Plus, there’s the ever-troubling detail that Han Jisung is the closest thing you have to a best friend. So, it sort of goes against your basic human morals to backstab—literally—the most important human in your life.

But he really makes you crazy. Why you agreed to share an apartment with him in the first place is a mystery, but the fact that you leased it again for junior year is what really makes you lose sleep at night. Because, while he may be your best friend, Jisung is the epitome of a little shit. If such a compound word was in the dictionary, it simply would say ‘Han Jisung.’ Somehow, though, it makes you love him even more. Maybe it’s true that ‘opposites attract,’ or, perhaps, maybe it’s because no matter how much embarrassment and general self-loathing he may have caused you in the past, it has benefitted you in the end.

For example, his constant teasing about your lack of friends eventually led to you befriending a group of girls you always admired from afar. His snarky comments concerning your nonexistent social life finally got to you and now you can proudly wear the title of one of the best beer pong players in your class. His presence in general has taught you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, whether it’s against him, your parents, a toxic friend, hell, even a professor. Proving people wrong, especially Jisung, is your favorite pastime.

Sometimes, though, it’s not that easy.

There’s one area in your life where you have accepted defeat. One area in your life where Jisung has his most fun. One area, or, perhaps one person, where you simply cannot step beyond your comfort zone.

Hwang Hyunjin is your Achilles tendon and Jisung is the arrow. There are times, along with all the times you’ve considered strangling Jisung in his sleep, where you have sat and actually prayed to the gods to send someone else. Someone not nearly as perfect as Hyunjin and someone not nearly as unattainable. Alas, these prayers, hook-ups, Tinder dates, anything to get him off your mind has proved futile; because here you are three years later, stuck with this stupid, absolutely infuriating crush on the only boy who has ever owned your heart because you outright gave it to him.

one.

You are beginning to think the two bubbly junior girls who led the campus tour you attended last year lied about the dining hall.

Correction: they one hundred percent lied.

Because even though the newly renovated food court looks nice—unscratched linoleum floors, shiny marble countertops and all sorts of seating to choose from—there must be something fishy going on with the cooks. Literally. Just last week, an upperclassman had a breakdown when she forked into her tuna (why anyone would want college seafood is another story) to find a worm right there in the middle of it. You have found little shards of glass in the yogurt and bugs even at You-Cook, but that’s all a part of the college experience, right?

“Are you sure there’s no spiders or anything? Did you check?” Beside you, Maddie watches with furrowed brows as you spoon a hefty serving of scrambled eggs onto your plate. Chuckling, you move down to grab a few sausages and a chocolate chip muffin before they are gone for the rest of the day; Lord knows, you are only a month in and carbohydrates have quickly become your emotional support, just like everyone else. “Yes, I checked,” you assure her, hiding a laugh with your hand as she leans over to further scrutinize the eggs, “I didn’t see any arachnids.”

“Good,” she hums, satisfied with your answer, “can you grab a banana muffin for me? They’re usually at the bottom.”

Nodding, you turn back to the blessed muffin basket, pushing away blueberry, corn, double chocolate, all because Maddie has to be different and go for the macadamia nut banana.

“Are those the dinosaur socks they were selling on move-in day?” In front of you, someone asks, and your first instinct is to look down at your feet just to confirm. 8:30 calculus simply turns your brain to mush and remembering how you dressed for the day is near impossible. “Yes!” Laughing, you lift your leg to get a closer look at the cute green t-rexes on skates. “I was sold once I heard they were a dollar.”

Tearing your gaze away from said socks, you look up and suddenly feel as if you have bumped into an angel. Maybe there were spiders in the eggs, deadly poisonous spiders that crawled up the spoon while you weren’t paying attention and bit your hand and now you are dead and this is the angel leading you to the heavens. That, or this simply is the most beautiful human you have ever seen up close and your brain does not know how to process it. Well, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you definitely have never been so starstruck in your life.

The boy in front of you says something but you don’t hear it, senses and thoughts momentarily Off™ as you gawk at him. Aside from the deep undereye bags you all have claimed the past few weeks, this stranger is as close to perfect as you can get. Sure, Seungmin and his roommates are pretty cute—but what the fuck?

Something tells you that you have been silently staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open for far too long when his brows raise in a mix of confusion and expectation. Shit. What did he say? Synapses suddenly shooting like fireworks in your brain, you desperately try to remember his reply but instead, all you had focused on was the plumpness of his lips as he spoke and not the words themselves.

Clearing your throat, you blink once, twice, hoping you were hallucinating the whole time and the boy in front of you is not Hercules incarnate.

Lucky for you or him, you can’t tell, but he is still as attractive as he was two seconds ago. “Sorry, what?” You blurt, loud, too loud, flinching at the sound of your own voice. Instead of recognizing that you are totally off your rocker, he smiles, a soft, toothy smile that has your muscles turning to goo.

“I said I bought them, too,” cutest-boy-in-the-universe repeats, looking down and you follow his gaze, “my roommates were making fun of me, so I’m glad I finally found someone who bought them.” Alas, as he tugs at the fabric of his jeans to slightly lift the cuff you see that he, too, wears the same socks. You think you’re in love.

“Well, your roommates clearly have no taste,” you deadpan, shakily meeting his eyes once he looks back up. He laughs softly, eyes scrunching at the action and you positively swoon until silence settles over you and he takes the opportunity to regard you, gaze sweeping down your frame and up again. You hold your breath because, 1) holy shit, you would get on your knees for him right now and 2) you suddenly wish you were wearing more than the ‘just-woke-up-to-get-pegged-by-calc’ fit.

“I’m Hyunjin,” he finally says and you release all the air trapped in your lungs. “YN,” you return, grasping his outreached hand and thanking the heavens it is as sweaty as yours. “Well, it was nice to meet you, YN,” Hyunjin proceeds, releasing your hand and offering a gentle smile.

“You too, Mr. Sock Man,” you grin, rocking on your heels and realizing with a pang of disappointment that your breakfast has probably gone cold. Well, that’s okay, because right now you are totally content standing here in the middle of the dining hall, silently staring at this Hyunjin with a stupid smile plastered on your face. And the best part? He apparently is just fine doing that, too.

“YN!” Somewhere behind you, Maddie calls your name and it thrusts you head-first back into reality. “Did you find a banana muffin? I can’t find— oh. Who’s this?” Appearing beside you, visibly shocked having found you in a staring contest with a very tall, very cute boy. “Oh, uh,” you huff out a laugh, scrambling to get yourself together, “Hyunjin, this is Maddie, my roommate. Maddie, this is Hyunjin. We have the same socks.”

Brows shooting up at the puzzling introduction, Maddie bites back a laugh and looks back and forth between you and Hyunjin. “Well, you don’t hear that every day,” smiling to hide her confusion, she offers him a small wave with her hand full of muffin packs, “nice to meet you.”

Hyunjin smiles in return, gaze quickly returning to you. “I’ll be off, then. Gotta get the waffles while they’re still warm. I’ll see you around.”

And before you know it, he’s off toward the other end of the breakfast counter.

“Um, what the fuck?” Maddie whispers excitedly as you make your way toward your usual table, elbow repeatedly jabbing into your side. “I have no idea what just happened. I think I’m dreaming,” you sigh blissfully, relieved to find that Jisung and Seungmin were able to claim your favorite booth. “No, definitely not dreaming. He’s totally into you. You have to hang out.”

“What?” You sputter, nearly tripping over your own two feet. Then, lowering your voice as you near the two boys, “I – no, he isn’t. How can you tell? That was like, the cutest guy I’ve ever talked to, and you think he’s into me?”

“Who’s the cutest guy ever?” Jisung pipes up, eyes lighting up and you curse him and his fucking bat hearing.

“No one,” you grumble, smiling softly at Seungmin when he gets up so you don’t have to sit on the end, leaving Maddie to sit next to the other one. “Is it me?” Jisung grins with a flutter of his eyelashes. He’s convinced the only reason you dislike him is because you’ve actually fallen in love with him, but that’s far from the truth. You don’t even dislike him—he’s just one of the first guys you’ve met who meets your sarcasm with as much ferocity, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

“In your dreams, Han,” you sneer, gracing him with a dramatic eye roll before tearing open the bag of your muffin. Comfortable conversation quickly falls into place as you eat, complaints about your classes, Seungmin trying to convince you to join them at the first party they will be attending while Jisung mocks you for wanting to stay home, Maddie asking where Felix is and Seungmin explaining that he got so high last night he ended up staying up past four playing Overwatch and is currently sleeping past all his classes.

Then, in the midst of guzzling your apple juice, Jisung leans out of his seat to call down the aisle. “Hwang! Come pull a chair over!”

Curiosity peaked, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and crane your neck to see over Seungmin’s fat head for who this ‘Hwang’ could be until, like the universe is really trying to kill you, the Hyunjin you met not even ten minutes ago has reached your table. “Hey,” he grins brightly, dabbing up the two boys before he glances to you, mouth promptly falling open. Certain you mirror the same expression, you struggle to find your words as Jisung and Seungmin look between you in shared confusion. “First we share socks, now it’s these dumpheads?”

Ignoring the way they scowl, Hyunjin giggles shamelessly and grabs a chair from an adjacent table to sit at the head of your booth. “It would seem that way.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. You guys know each other?” Jisung scoffs in disbelief, pointedly looking at you as if you’ve gone and disproved everything he pegged of you. “We just met,” Hyunjin replies with a shy smile, sparing you a quick glance before cutting into his waffle. Jisung looks to you and you offer an affirmative nod.

“And how are you guys friends?” Maddie asks, sensing your panic. “He’s Changbin and Minho’s roommate,” Seungmin answers.

You choke on a mouthful of juice.

“Christ, you good?” Seungmin snickers, offering a few slaps to your back. With a muffled yes, you look to Hyunjin with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell them I said they have no taste.”

He laughs, arching a brow at you. “No way. They’ll get a kick out of that.”

“Oh, Christ,” faking a cry, you bury your face into your palms, “so much for making friends.”

“It’s okay, YN,” Jisung soothes with faux sympathy, “no one wants to be your friend anyway.”

Scoffing, the table quickly falls silent when you look up with rage in your eyes. “I bet when someone asks your parents about you, they change the subject,” you spit, shooting daggers at him before stabbing your fork into an innocent chunk of egg. To your utmost surprise but total delight, the other three burst into a fit of laughter, leaving you smirking smugly and Jisung sulking.

“Anyway,” Maddie promptly changes the subject back to her chemistry professor who has started every class playing Britney Spears. Tucked away in your corner finishing the last of your sausage and stifling the urge to get up for more, it isn’t until Hyunjin begins to speak do you realize that you have been quietly watching him the entire time. You would blame the soft morning sunshine shining through the windows and illuminating the right side of his face for making him look so ethereal, but you know that isn’t the case; from short, messy black hair, silver hoop earrings, thick, defined brows, the soft curves of his nose and the pouty fullness of his lips, you are totally, completely mesmerized.

And then, the sole of a sneaker is slammed right into your shin. “OW!” You yelp, loud, and for a moment you forget the pain in favor of the embarrassment that comes with the number of heads that turn to look at you. “Sorry. Bit my tongue,” you lie, earning an unconvinced look from Maddie. “Go on,” you nod toward Hyunjin to continue whatever he was saying before directing a furious glare to Jisung, who fails to hide his triumphant smirk as he enthusiastically types on his phone.

Just as you have bent down to rub at your throbbing leg, your phone vibrates twice against the table.

han jisung [now] stop staring, ur lucky hwang is as dense as a rock or he would have left a long time ago bc of you

han jisung [now] so THAT’S the ‘cutest guy ever’ huh? so ur straight after all

Squeezing your hands into fists, you prepare to fire back a reply that will have him crying. But he has different plans.

“Oh, Hyunjin, did YN tell you she’s a dancer, too?” He exaggerates your previous mention of dancing and has the audacity to wink at you. Thanks, Mr. Match Maker.

“Really?” Hyunjin gasps excitedly, eyes lighting up and totally missing the flabbergasted what? that sputters from your lips.

“I – well, no,” you hiss, scowling at Jisung, “I used to do ballet when I was younger but that’s it. Why, though? Do you dance?”

“He’s here on a scholarship,” Seungmin explains, “and minors in creative writing.”

“Oh,” you squeak, glancing to Hyunjin who is all but smiling like a cherub, completely oblivious, “that’s amazing. You must have a crazy schedule.” Chewing the last of his waffle, he hums in agreement. “Yeah, it gets really stressful at times. But it’s worth it,” Hyunjin chuckles. Then fucking winks.

Unable to hold his gaze, you whip your head back around in a panic and reach for the mere sip left of your juice. “Speaking of crazy schedules,” he hums, slapping both Jisung and Seungmin on the shoulders, “I must head out. This was fun. I may start crashing the party more now.” Rising from his seat, Hyunjin swings his bag over a shoulder and grins brightly. Realizing it would be rude to not say goodbye, you force yourself to look back to him and offer a feeble wave.

“And YN, don’t bite your tongue when you eat, yeah?”

You’re going to pass out.

two.

Felix likes to think of you as his corrupted child when it comes to smoking weed.

A few weeks before you would all be returning home for winter break, he came knocking on your door with a proposition. “No one wants to smoke with me. Do you want to?”

This, for sure, was not what you were expecting on a cold Tuesday night in December. Despite the general curiosity and always wanting to ‘try it’ simply to feel like a teenager breaking the rules, you told him you never smoked before. “I know,” he said with a smile, “that’s why I’m asking.”

So, you agreed. Reaching for your hand, Felix snuck you out the window and led you halfway across campus to the junior parking lot, giving you ample opportunities to back out when he felt how badly you were shaking. “Whose car is this?” You laughed in disbelief when he unlocked a beaten-up Nissan near the outskirts of the lot.

“Kim Woojin. The junior?” He replied once you settled in the passenger seat next to him. “Oh.” You blinked, confused. “He lets you smoke in his car?”

“He gets me weed, too,” Felix giggled, reaching into the pockets of his sweatshirt and coming out with two tightly wrapped blunts, each about two inches long, “I’ll turn the heat on a little so we don’t freeze but we have to keep the windows open. I’m not going to have you hotbox for your first time.” You had no idea what that meant, but you agreed nonetheless.

With a brief lesson on what to do that truly made no sense until you tried it for yourself, Felix lit the blunt, took a few small hits to get it started, and then passed it to you. Holding it gingerly between your thumb and index finger, you brought the unlit end to your lips and sucked as he instructed ‘like a straw,’ breathing it into your lungs and ignoring the faint taste of smoke. Unsure of when to stop, it wasn’t until your throat felt as if it was on fire did you realize just how much you had inhaled.

“Shit,” you wheezed, coughing and choking and watching with wide eyes at the amount of cloudy white smoke that left your mouth and nostrils. Passing it back to Felix, you scrambled for the cold water bottle he brought along, downing half of it in one go to soothe the burn. “Good?” He asked, blowing out the window and turning back to you with eyes full of concern.

“Yeah,” you huffed, “give me a few, though.”

Humming in agreement, Felix connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth and began playing what he calls his ‘getting high playlist,’ and before long, you fell in love with the feeling.

When break was over, you were dying to try it again. Felix was more than happy to be of service.

For all of March, it turned into a daily thing.

Now, you try to smoke only once a week for the sake of not dying, or something.

australian felix kjellberg❤️ [now] come hang at 201?

When the text notification pops up in the corner of your laptop screen amid your YouTube binge, your bones jitter with a mix of dread and excitement.

Dread, because that’s Hyunjin’s room. Excitement, because that’s Hyunjin’s room.

Maddie must hear your sigh. “What’s wrong?” She asks from her cozied position in bed, hand deep in a bag of popcorn.

“It’s Felix,” you start, “but he said to go to Hyunjin’s room.”

She blinks, unfazed. “And? I don’t see the problem here.”

“Well, I don’t know,” you count on your fingers, “first, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin sober. Second, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin high. Third, I am very touchy when high. Fourth, Hyunjin is always touchy.”

Maddie scoffs. “That’s a pretty lame argument, YN,” she laughs, “isn’t that what you want to happen?”

“Well,” she’s got a point, “yes, but it still makes me nervous. He makes me nervous.” Closing your laptop, you shimmy out of bed and debate changing out of your cotton shorts and tee shirt. Nah. You’ll probably end up going back to Felix’s and sleeping there. You put a sports bra and deodorant on and call it a day.

Maddie finds this hilarious. “You know what should make you nervous? The fact that you’re usually the only girl getting high with, what? Six guys? You know they all want to fuck you.”

“I try not to think about that, actually,” cringing, you try to erase Felix’s voice when he’s high as a kite or Changbin’s arms from your mind, “and you don’t know that. Sometimes Ryujin and Lia are there. Or, you know, you could always come. You don’t have to smoke, just come hang out. I know you want to give Minho a fat smooch.”

Her nose wrinkles in disgust. “I love you, and I appreciate the invite, but I don’t feel like babysitting a bunch of stoners, even if Minho is there.”

Laughing, all you can offer her is a shrug. “I don’t blame you,” grabbing your phone, wallet, and charger, you make your way over to her and bend over to press a goodnight kiss to her forehead, “if you need me, don’t. I’ll probably be dead.”

“Oh Lord,” Maddie cackles, watching you struggle to open the window, “don’t die. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll try,” you grin, military saluting once you’ve managed to flop over the ledge. With one last wave, you close the window behind you and thank admissions for giving you a room on the first floor.

[9:34 PM] YN: omw now, gather your forces to help me in :)

Nights in 201 are always interesting. First, their room is on the second floor, so climbing through the window is an experience. Things would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just walk in and out of residence halls as you please, but with the officer at the front desk documenting who comes in and who goes out, there would be a knock at the door at midnight asking you to leave. Second: as Maddie said, 201 means the whole squad is showing up. And when the whole squad shows up, you’re bound to feel a mix of anxiety and desire deep within your bones no matter how hard set you are on Mr. Hwang. And third: you know you’re in for one fucked up night.

[9:42 PM] YN: hereee

Standing awkwardly behind their building, you try and calm the nerves that always come when you know you will be with Hyunjin. Considering how close the two of you have become over the past few months, one would think you would have gotten a grip on those pesky feelings.

Yet again, it’s kind of hard to do that when he looks and acts like that all the time.

When the window slides open, you are expecting Changbin to hang halfway out for you to grab on to with the rest of them holding onto his legs. Instead, a tall, metal ladder of sorts is pushed out until it lands with a thud! at your feet, granting you a perfect staircase into the room.

Well, you certainly don’t see that every day.

Blinking in confusion, you do not know whether to focus on the crowd of boys waving at you from above or this abomination of a stepstool that was practically thrown out a window for you. Accepting the chain of events as just another fever dream of an experience in 201, you shake your head and begin to ascend on shaky legs, graciously taking Jisung’s hand and clinging to both him and Seungmin as they help you into the room. “Thanks,” you huff, giving them both a hug in return to their chivalry. And they dare say it’s dead!

Behind you, Changbin and Hyunjin lift the ladder-stepstool mutation back into the room and it isn’t until they have folded it into a more compact piece and set it against the wall do you speak up.

“Did you… buy a ladder?”

“Yes!” Minho bellows, thrilled by your successful entrance. “Isn’t it great?” After pulling back from a hug, he keeps his hands on your shoulders just to shake you like a bobble-head.

“Yes,” you grunt once he’s released you, head swimming, “a lot easier than hauling both me and Changbin through the window, right?” Looking to said boy, you can’t help but melt into his side when he pulls you close. “No worries,” Changbin beams, rubbing your arm, “at least we have some funny memories now.” When he moves to flop onto his bed, you realize with a shudder that you are alone with Hyunjin.

Well, technically not alone since they are all right there, but alone in the sense that they are not paying attention to you nor him.

“Hey, YN. I missed you,” he singsongs, engulfing you in one of his monster bear hugs. Disregarding the heart palpitations they may cause, Hyunjin’s hugs are truly the best and you wish you would initiate them more if it didn’t seem like such a big deal in that smooth brain of yours. “I missed you, too,” you mutter into his chest, squeezing your arms around him as if to engrave this feeling into your mind forever. “We saw each other, like, five hours ago,” he reminds you, finally pulling back and taking your will to live with him. God, he has no idea.

“And? You’re the only one here who doesn’t make me suicidal,” you lie because, in reality, he actually does. Just in a different way. “Aw,” he coos, large hand squeezing your side and you think you could orgasm on command, “good thing we have tonight, then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, finally remembering to breathe when he steps away to sit beside Seungmin on his bed. Suddenly, you are feeling incredibly grateful no one is next to Changbin because, well, 1) he is closer to Felix and 2), you need a distraction.

“Hello, Felix,” you greet the boy sunk deep in a bean bag chair, busy grinding leaves and packing them into the bowl of a bong. “How are you this fine evening, YN?” He asks once you have settled beside Changbin, brows knitting together when the older boy drapes his arm around your waist.

“Good. Tired, though. How ‘bout you?”

“You didn’t have to come if you’re tired! We all know you work your ass off, no one’s gonna judge if you chose to stay home and sleep,” Felix expresses, giving you a look that screams ‘mom.’

“No! I’m not that tired,” you assure him, reaching for his hand and squeezing for extra effect, “you know I wouldn’t miss this. You’ve made me a pothead.”

With a proud smile, he returns to his designated job and begins working on the second, smaller bong. “So,” stretching to set your things on the desk beside Changbin’s bed, you turn to him with a knowing smile, “how’s the album coming?”

“Great!” He beams, eyes lighting up at the topic. “Jisung is a great addition. Did I tell you we started meeting with someone else, too?”

“No, who?”

“He’s a sophomore, Bang Chan?” Somewhere behind you, Felix passes a bong to Jisung for the first hit. “Bang Chan? Holy shit, Binnie,” repeatedly punching his arm to express your excitement, “that’s amazing! I didn’t know he was into music production. Not that I’ve ever talked to him, but.”

“No, I get you,” he hums, giving your side a firm squeeze, “he’s really awesome making beats. I hope we’re successful.” Then, reaching past you, he takes the second bong and a lighter from Felix. When he resituates himself, he’s considerably closer than before. You don’t mind.

“Ladies first?” Changbin offers with a crooked grin, handing them to you. Then, on second thought, he holds onto the lighter to do the honors. “Sure. Thanks,” you laugh, glancing across the room to find everyone arguing over which color to set the lights to as they wait for their high. Bringing the tube to your lips, you offer a miniscule nod to him and then he is setting flame to the bowl. Sucking strong enough to generate bubbles, you unplug the bowl once he stops and breathe in as much as your lungs can handle in one go. Then, once you have exhaled, you quickly finish what’s left in the tube before passing it to Changbin with a pleased smile.

“That was a lot,” he points out once you have handed the bong back to him. “Hey, you’re the one who kept lighting it for thirty seconds. Mother would be proud,” you joke, reciprocating the same service and lighting the bowl until he glares at you beneath his bangs.

The best part about being high is the fact that you are constantly laughing. Things won’t even be that funny, but once someone starts laughing—you’re done for. You laugh so hard it hurts, and then once it’s all over, you realize it wasn’t funny at all. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a squirrel?” Minho asks Jisung at some point. You absolutely loose it. It quite possibly is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Pouting, Squirrel Boy leaves Minho alone on his bed to come crash beside you. “How are you, my tender oozing blossom?”

Squinting at him past the way your eyes burn, you make grabby hands and pull him close to wrap your arms around his teeny waist. Changbin grumbles in protest, but he’s too transfixed on the light’s soft in and out fade of different colors to say anything else. “Please, don’t ever call me that again,” you mumble into Jisung’s mop of brown hair.

“What?” He gasps, tilting to look up at you with puppy eyes. “You didn’t like it?”

“Nope,” smiling lazily, you rest your head atop his, “I love you, but I’m not ready for pet names yet.” His face morphs from a frown to one lit with excitement. “Holy shit, did you just say you love me? Do my eyes deceive me?”

“That would be your ‘ears,’ but yes,” you hum, brain simply not capable of denying it the way your sober self would. “More than Changbin?” Jisung whispers.

“Yes, but don’t tell him,” you return quietly, biting back a laugh.

“More than Hyunjin?” He counters. At this, you look up to find said boy sat with his legs to his chest across the room. Next to Seungmin, he looks like a giant; but a happy, pouty giant that keeps talking about how much he could go for a winter melon tea right now.

“Never.”

One and a half (half because it was just the rest of Minho’s terribly big hit that left tears streaming down his cheeks) and an unfinished game of Cards Against Humanity later, you find yourself in a blissful headspace. The song playing quietly through Felix’s speaker makes it feel like you are bouncing down stairs and then going up again, and the lights are oh so pretty, pink fading to red, yellow to green, blue to purple and so on. Things are fuzzy but crystal clear at the same time, the popcorn you’ve been shoveling into your mouth tastes heavenly, and your body feels like it is engulfed in a warm, comforting hug.

Or, that could just be Changbin.

Somewhere in between trying to get more comfortable and him yanking you to stay next to him when you attempted to get up and hug Seungmin for something sweet he said, you now find yourself on your back with a clinging Changbin on your side. You are so comfortable, but also insanely hot, and as you begin to slowly come down from your high as the hours tick by, you begin to realize it’s for another reason.

What started as an innocent hand on your side turned into his thumb rubbing meaningless patterns against your shirt, which then turned into his hand slipping beneath to splay against the warmth of your skin. Growing increasingly needy as the minutes go by, you turn to look at everyone around you. Jisung, who found himself returning to Minho, appears to be passed out with him on the far end of the room. Seungmin, curled up on the floor with a pillow and a heap of blankets. Felix, who finished off the rest of his weed, scrolls aimlessly on his phone still at the peak of his high.

And Hyunjin, who you assume has been fast asleep on his bed for a while now if the arm flung over his face tells you anything. For a moment, you feel sick with sadness. So close, but so far he lies, always a step out of reach. But you can’t deny how Changbin makes you feel—for right now, at least. And it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity with someone else because the one you want is unattainable.

Right?

Changbin must sense the way your breathing increases, must feel the way your body reacts to the slightest of touches, yet he takes his time. He is soft in the way his hand travels up your arm, rough fingertips grazing over your collarbones before smoothing down over your chest and abdomen. It isn’t until you are about to burst at the seams does he give your ass a strong squeeze and urge your leg over his hips.

“Changbin,” you sigh, biting your lip to keep from whimpering when he begins pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the length of your throat. “Please touch me.”

He only makes a sound of agreement, savoring the way you squirm and grip onto his arm for dear life. When he offers an experimental roll of his hips to grind against you, you practically go feral. The last time you were touched in such a way was at a party in the beginning of the semester Jisung and co. physically forced you to go to, and Changbin has barely even touched you and it’s already better than the rushed sex you had that night.

“Wait,” he huffs, pausing his ministrations no matter how difficult it is to do so, “we can’t.”

“What?” You hiss, trying to keep your voice quiet, “why?”

“Because you’re high, and I’m high, and I’m not going to do anything unless you really want me to,” Changbin explains, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips when you frown in response. “But I do want you to,” you huff, chasing his mouth for another, “I trust you one hundred percent.”

“Are you sure, YN?” What about Hyunjin? is what he really means and you know he’s right. You should have never told Felix.

Trying to ignore the wetness of your underwear, you turn to lie on your back. “Whatever. Never mind,” you mumble, and when you glance back to him, you can’t help the way your heart soars with him still pressed closely to your side, blinking tiredly at you. But like he said, it’s not Hyunjin. “Just get some sleep, Binnie. Forget it happened,” smiling past the tears that threaten to spill, you ruffle his hair and press a softer kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin whispers, returning the affection with a kiss to your shoulder. In minutes, he is snoring softly beside you.

You can’t fall asleep to save your life.

Reaching for your phone to check the time, you grit your teeth once you realize it’s almost four and you definitely have been staring at the ceiling for more than an hour. For starters, you are freezing now; unlike these passed out hooligans, you are showing a lot more skin and not being under the blankets is not doing you well. And secondly, it’s hard to fall asleep when your thoughts are flying miles a minute.

Is this how it’s going to be, then? Whenever you see someone, will the little guy on your shoulder whisper in your ear that it’s not Hyunjin? Or will people deem you off limits because they know of your infatuation? People who know, at least—Changbin is the first, apparently.

Just need to get comfy, you decide, trying to ignore such thoughts and turning to lie on your stomach. Bless Felix for leaving the lights on, too—you may be coming down from your high, but the vibe is simply immaculate. Tucking a hand under your cheek and following the ropes of light on the ceiling and up the walls, you find this to be enough to calm your nerves. Enough to make your eyelids heavy. Finally.

Someone lets out a monster train snore. Seungmin, you think, biting your lip to keep from laughing. Or, it could be Hyunjin. The thought is so amusing you can’t help but squint at the boy across from you to better see his outline, hoping he will do it again just to confirm.

No, not Hyunjin.

Because he’s facing you, eyes open, a soft smile plastered on his face. Well, fuck.

No reason to panic, you console yourself, returning a gentle smile in the assumption he can even see you. And you stay like that for a while, simply watching one another for an infinite amount of time. It’s not much, but it means something, you think, lost in the way the contours and highlights of his face change with each color the lights fade to. Just as you remember the whole point of getting on your stomach was to fall asleep, Hyunjin moves. Reaching for his phone, you watch in confusion as he brings it close to his face and starts typing.

hwang hyunjin👁👄👁 [now] Come sleep w me?

You almost throw up in your mouth. You must be dreaming. Surely.

Blinking against the harsh light of your phone, you cannot help your smile as you reread the text.

[4:02 am] YN: wont that b a little sus for bin

[4:02 am] hwang hyunjin👁👄👁: If anyone asks just say he kept kicking u or something

You don’t need to be told twice. Now that he has turned onto his side facing the other direction, Changbin does not stir once you slowly move to sit up and stand, nor when you reach for the quilt crumbled at the foot of the bed to pull over him. It’s not much, but hopefully it will keep him from waking in a few hours freezing to death. Then, as you tiptoe your way over to Hyunjin’s bed, avoiding Felix now that he’s sprawled half way off the bean bag, you cannot tell if you are still shivering from the cold or if the fact you are going to be sleepingwith Hyunjin in one, tiny single bed is finally clicking in your brain. Like Maddie said, this is something you want, right?

As you draw closer, Hyunjin shifts to make room and lifts the covers for you to quietly slip beneath. “Thank you,” you whisper, pulling the blanket up to your chin and trying to ignore the feeling of being so close to him. “Of course. You looked real cold over there,” he smiles tiredly. Then, his arm cautiously curls around you to rest by your head, fingers swiping stray hairs away from your face.

“I was,” you admit. Eyes level to his lips, you strain to look him in the eyes to resist the temptation now that he’s pulled you so close. “Changbin fell asleep and I felt bad waking him.”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply. He seems momentarily lost in thought, brows slightly furrowed as he chews on the inside of his lip.

“Do you like him?” He finally asks, voice shaky with hesitation.

“What?” You sputter, shocked at such a presumption. Yet again…

“No, no I don’t. I mean—as a friend, yes, but, you know,” you trail off, squeezing your eyes shut. You desperately wish you were not having this conversation right now. “He was touching you, though. And it looked like you liked it,” Hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping against your cheekbone.

“I mean, well yeah, I did. But I’m not close enough to like him like that. It’s just a physical attraction,” realizing you are discussing what went down with Changbin to Hyunjin, you suddenly pull back and lean up on an elbow to get a better look at him, heat now spreading up your limbs like fire. “Were you watching us, Hwang?”

“Yes,” he admits, “it’s kind of hard not to.” Your heart stops beating.

“I – what?” You manage once you have remembered how to breathe. “I didn’t know you were awake, we wouldn’t have… what do you mean, ‘it’s kind of hard not to?’”

“You know what I mean, YN,” Hyunjin mutters, arm slipping around your waist and pulling you to lie down with him again, this time, your chest pressed to his. “I like looking at you. You’re very pretty.”

You definitely must still be high, because you are seriously having a hard time wrapping your mind around Hyunjin calling you pretty, as well as being so close, and somewhere deep in your mind wonders if he knows. If he knows how your heart is on the line here. Knows that with him moving closer, you are taking a huge risk.

When Hyunjin kisses you, you forget that this could be the worst mistake you’ve made in a long time. Wrapped around his fingers, you pray this is his way of saying he feels the same.

“YN!” You wake to Seungmin gently shaking your shoulder. “YN, wake up. Your phone has been vibrating for twenty minutes now. It’s Maddie.”

The wave of panic washing over you dispels the grogginess you feel from suddenly being yanked from sleep, as well as the recognition of where you are and who you’re with. Frantic, you sit up and nod in thanks to him before taking the call. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank God you answered,” Maddie cries, voice choked, “I’m sorry, I know you’re still out, but I just threw up and I feel so terrible and when I get up I feel so nauseous. Can you come home?”

“Shit, Maddie, don’t apologize,” you whisper, rushing to grab your things as Seungmin unfolds The Ladder as quietly as possible, “I’m leaving now. Don’t move, you don’t want it to get worse. I’ll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” she whimpers before hanging up.

“Thank you, Minnie,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, you begin to climb down. “Is everything okay?” He asks, watching as you go with a worried frown. “Yes, it’s fine. Just a little emergency, don’t worry,” praying no one is out and about watching as you climb from the back of their building, you rush back to help Maddie as fast as you can.

You stay back in your dorm with Maddie for the rest of the weekend, fetching her water and ginger ale and food she can handle, helping her to the restroom, and binging all sorts of shows and movies with her. Seungmin, Jisung, and Minho visit Sunday evening, joining you for a few hours to watch Pokémon. You think it’s just because Minho knew it would be a good opportunity to snuggle with Maddie.

You can’t help but feel disappointed when Hyunjin isn’t with them. You refrained from telling Maddie what happened in 201, too caught up wanting to make sure she was alright, and by now you are starting to feel as if it wasn’t even real. Maybe you made the whole night up in your marijuana-infused brain. And snuggled up with Jisung, you can’t help but wish it was this annoying shit you were falling in love with.

On Monday morning, Hyunjin doesn’t show up for breakfast. On Tuesday, you find out he has been hanging out with a girl he met at his favorite boba joint and apparently won’t shut up about. First, you run back to your dorm to cry to Maddie, having to explain all of Friday night to her. When she leaves for her lab, you call Felix for an emergency smoke session. When Maddie texts that she is going to be out late working on a project, you call Changbin to tell him that you really do want him to.

Like you said, it’s just a physical attraction, right?

⇢ part 2

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falsegoodnight · 4 years

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part one of my december fic rec! this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 15th so half of this month! (mostly just the first week and a half though because FINALS!)

there’s still twenty fics/ficlets on here though which is insane so that’s why i’m splitting my monthly recs into two lists again!

you can find part two here

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✰ (have yourself a) Merry little Christmas by @defencelesst | G | 1k (so so so soft and sweet and perfect!! lottie’s stories always warm my heart!)

There's a saying in Korean culture about how watching the first snow of the year with someone means you're destined to stay together for a long time.

✰ Still by @allwaswell16 | NR | 2k (a timestamp for this series) (so sweet and heartwarming! the PERFECT end to the series!)

Louis has settled into his life in Colorado with Harry, their horses, and of course, Lacey the goat. And now the day has arrived to finally marry the man who makes this place feel like home.

✰ sugary sweet by @soldouthaz | E | 4k (drabble from this series) (hot, hot, hot! did i mention, hot?)

From the corner of his eye he can see every movement. The fire makes Louis’ skin even more golden than usual, the peaks of his nipples dark pink in pale contrast. His chest is already beginning to rise and fall quicker where a blush has bloomed up near his throat from his excitement. His arm is raised, shaking lightly as he holds up the icing can, his mouth parted as he pants softly.

Louis looks ethereal, and Harry’s having a more difficult time than he thought not being able to touch him.

✰ Thank you, five by @nouies | E | 6k (technically a reread) (so so cute and lovely and hot!!!)

“Harry?” He says as soon as he recognises the other man.

“Louis? Wh-what are you doing here?” Harry asks with a frown.

“Well, I’m here for rehearsal,” Louis announces with a proud smile.

There’s a flash of confusion on Harry’s face. “What do you mean rehearsal? I got the part, you didn’t.”

✰ can you keep me close, can you love me most? by @soldouthaz | G | 6k (a drabble from this series) (made me CRY!! love this world and these characters so so much!!!)

“I’m so sorry, Harry. This was supposed to be our night and we were going to eat and then walk around the city and-”

“Lou, it’s alright,” Harry says, “seriously. We can always make another reservation. Don’t worry about it, love.”

“I know, just -” Louis cuts himself off with a sigh.

He knows they can reschedule. It’s not so much that he cares about the reservation, really, or any of the food. His students are so important to him and he’d always drop anything to help them, except that he sort of - well, Louis sort of thought Harry would propose tonight.

✰ singing your praises by @loubellies | E | 6k (really hot and sexy but also cute!)

Prompt 86: Louis rides Harry while wearing his packer’s jersey/sweater and gets his ass ate.

✰ You’ll wait for me only by @tired-eyes-lou | T | 9k (love accidental bonding fics! cute!)

Harry nips at the bondmark on Louis’ neck, Louis’ hands go to his hips, grounding him. He allows himself this, knowing that his Omega needs it too. Harry pulls back, “Go on a date with me.” He rushes out, looking at Louis’ eyes.

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “No, Louis, I’m serious. We’ve bonded for life anyway, might as well try.” Louis looks at him, “You’ve been thinking about this a lot.” Louis points out, Harry nods. “Okay.” Louis says and walks out leaving Harry. “Okay what?!”

✰ Pretty and Pink by @larryinpantiess | E | 13k (cute and lovely! love trucker harry!)

Harry never lets anyone come on the road with him.

Then, a cute hitchhiker, Louis comes around.

✰ show you the stars in the daylight by @yvesaintlourent | E | 13k (AMAZING INCREDIBLE PERFECT! i love childhood best friends and also !! miscommunication !! idiots in love !!)

Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawny, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

✰ silver linings by @millsxwriting | T | 14k (so cute and sweet :’) as a big fan of emails, this made my heart happy)

As Louis starts his freshman year of college out of state, Harry finishes his last year of high school back home. The distance between California and Arizona has both of them gripping onto everything they can to make their relationship work.

✰ Won’t Keep You My (Dirty Little) Secret by @lovelykits | M | 16k (wow wow wow i adored this!!! louis and harry were both so lovely!)

Louis and Harry have been together since the end of last year and somehow no one knows about it.

✰ The Boy with the Tin Chest and the Glass Heart by @louloubabys1992 | M | 18k (amazing concept and so cute!! love the inclusion of fairy tales in this one too!)

Alpha Harry Styles, world-renowned author of fairy-tales, is being persuaded by the Beta, Liam Payne, to hire a new illustrator. Since Harry’s own illustrations are too graphic for what is supposed to be children’s stories, Liam feels the need is dire. Omega Louis does not agree with Liam since he believes that Harry’s stories are fine just the way they are. Of course this has nothing to do with Louis being totally biased or totally head over heels for Harry. It certainly has nothing to do with being jealous of the mysterious omega illustrator Liam has in mind to team Harry up with.

Seriously, it has nothing to do with that at all. Nothing, absolutely nothing, zilch, nada.

Yeah...

✰ Across the Grey, Salty Sea by @the-cheshire-pussy-cat | E | 20k (incredible!!! the ending made me so emotional ahh)

Prompt 212: Alex from Dunkirk and French escort/prostitute Louis who ends up in Alex’s quarters more nights than not. Alex gives him his dog tag to wear maybe just a lot of smut and dirty talk with Louis being a pretty princess.

✰ blue songs are like tattoos by @loubellies | E | 31k (berkeley chant!! but so so cute and amazing! loved the playlist that went with it too!)

“Good morning, University of California, you’re listening to KALX 90.7 FM Berkeley, this is DJ Harry Styles. If the owner of the tapes I’ve been finding around the studio doesn’t come forward and introduce himself, I’m going to continue tossing them straight in the trash!”

✰ Freeway of Love (In a Pink Cadillac) by @mizzhydes | E | 33k (the plot twist took me off guard but wow!)

Louis was on his way to Miami to visit an old friend. Harry was going there for a little R&R and take in the sights and sounds. A sudden upgrade in seating brought these polar opposites together. The universe works in mysterious ways and they are unknowingly about to embark on an adventure they will surely remember for a lifetime.

✰ Cold As Ice And Everything Nice by @harriblou | M | 41k (this was so sweet and amazing and tender <333 loved it!)

Louis is a professional ice-skater and he meets Harry, who offers to clean the ice for him.

✰ When Our Worlds They Fall Apart by @holdingthornsandroses | E | 42k (louis as leia??? harry as han solo??? amazing perfect incredible! made my heart happy!)

Harry put his hand over his heart as if Louis had wounded him. “You’re so harsh, my liege! Perhaps you need to relieve some tension…” He let his voice trail off suggestively.

“The day I ask YOU to relieve tension is the day I lose all my wits and join the Imperials,” Louis said. “It will never happen.”

✰ A Place With Skeletons by @crazyupsetter | E | 51k (yet another masterpiece from this author. continues to blow me away <3 that one line (you know if you know) still sticks with me today)

“I would choose anyone other than you,” Louis says, picking up his train of thought again. He feels a lot more cornered and defensive when they’re in Harry’s house, for some reason. It doesn’t really make sense, considering that this time, Louis was the one who couldn’t hack it any longer. He broke first. There’s something about being in Harry’s space, though, the green and earthy feeling of it. It should feel like open space with all the plants, but Louis has never felt more claustrophobic than he does when he’s here.

Harry’s chest moves against his back, a sharp intake of air. Before he can open his mouth to defend himself, Louis keeps going, “If I had a choice in any of this, I would have been saved by that elderly security guard over you. I wouldn’t mind having to have the occasional cuddle with her.”

✰ through the wheatfields and the coastlines by @thepolourryexpress | E | 53k (ni was right. i definitely fell in love with cowboy harry but i’m not complaining! this fic had it all and i’ll definitely be rereading this in the future - so so amazing!)

Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

✰ Know I Think You’re Awesome, Right? by @princesshalo | E | 60k (amazing amazing amazing! loved the conflict between louis and harry and their dynamic!)

A college AU where Louis is a hippie, very good vibes activist and Harry is a punk, anarchist that always gets involved in violent protests.

If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

#my fic recs #fic recs #2020 recs #december 2020 recs #december recs

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animezing-fandoms · 4 years

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Nalu and Feminism:

Why Lucy Heartfilia being Natsu’s love interest isn’t as “irrelevant” to the story as the haters think.

Companion piece to Feminism in Fairy Tail with Lucy Heartfilia

Also, I will briefly discuss Gruvia. And in particular, how Juvia’s character is impacted by her relationship with Gray in comparison to Lucy with Nalu.

Okay while I was writing that long meta about how Lucy not being a fighter and serving a more emotional role in the story doesn’t make her character any less important than the fighters, I also thought about the other reason that people claim Lucy isn’t a strong female character. Because she’s Natsu’s love interest.

Now we’ve all been trained to think that when a female character in an action/sci-fi/shounen type story falls in love with and wants to be with a male character, that that somehow diminishes her character. And that adding romance to the story is unnecessary and is just pandering to shippers who they claim are only interested in the story for the romance. Which is a pretty sexist accusation considering that most (but not all) shippers tend to be women, so they’re basically saying that as women all we care about is romance and not the actual story.

But if all we cared about was romance, then why would we be so invested in a relationship between two characters that haven’t even gotten together yet in a story that isn’t centered around romance.

And if we were somehow able to force Hiro Mashima into making Nalu canon, then trust me, they would have been canon years ago! We have no power over what happens in this story in any way shape or form. Looking at you on that one Chris.

We’re invested in Fairy Tail because of the story. And the story isn’t just about fighting. It’s about personal journeys, and overcoming obstacles, and being stronger together as a team. And when you have a story that is heavily focused on teamwork, then the relationships between the characters play a huge role in that story! Those relationships are what drive the characters to become stronger, and what give them something to fight for! Their love for each other doesn’t make them weak, it’s what makes them stronger.

So yes, Lucy is Natsu’s love interest in the story. But that doesn’t mean she’s a weak character or doesn’t serve any real purpose to the story. In fact, it actually means the opposite. Her feelings for Natsu are what strengthens her character, and here’s why.

So the main argument with “pointless romance” in stories that aren’t centered around it, is that it’s forced and underdeveloped. And while that is true for some stories (mainly Western TV/movies. I honestly can’t think of any “forced” romances in the manga/anime I’ve watched tbh), in Fairy Tail that’s definitely not the case.

Honestly, nalu might be the slowest slow burn I’ve ever witnessed in a fictional story. Their relationship has tons of development, and considering they’re both the main characters of the story, that relationship is pretty important to the story.

Just think about how they first met. That was how this whole story started! Natsu saves her from being enslaved by a criminal and yes while he did go fight Bora because he was lying about being from Fairy Tail, after the fight he brings Lucy with him to join the guild. He didn’t have to do that. But he did. Natsu is the first Fairy Tail wizard that Lucy meets and he’s the one that makes her dream of joining the guild come true. It’s because of him that she finds a family that loves and accepts her and supports her. And because of that, she grows as a wizard and as a writer.

Natsu is the one who not only changed her life but also stood by her through all of that change. Ever since they met, Natsu has been there for her and she’s been there for him. So them falling in love after everything they’ve been through wouldn’t be forced at all.

No relationship in Fairy Tail is forced. Even the smaller background ones like Elfever and Albis have good development!

The main Fairy Tail story was pretty long. And when you have a story that long, you’ve got a lot of time to develop relationships. I honestly think Hiro Mashima did an amazing job of pacing the development of their relationship to having them build up to become basically irreplaceable people in their lives by the end of the story. And we see that development in both of their characters.

In stories I’ve seen where romance feels “forced”. They often only have one character (mainly the guy) showing interest in the girl and her showing no interest in having a romantic relationship with him at all, until one point near the end of the story she suddenly reciprocates those feelings without anything prompting that change or anything else she’s said or done in the story thus far leading up to that.

Yes, Lucy is often annoyed by Natsu and Happy breaking into her apartment. And yes she is sometimes annoyed by Natsu’s reckless nature. They bicker a lot in the beginning of the story. But there’s also multiple points throughout the story where both Natsu and Lucy show how much they care about each other. By the end of the GMG arc, it’s clear that they’re both important to each other. That’s why Lucy was so distraught at the thought of losing Natsu during the Alvarez arc. And that’s why thinking Lucy was dead was what triggered Natsu to become END.

So now in the 100 YQ, Lucy is starting to show more obvious signs of having a romantic interest in Natsu. And that’s not out of nowhere. That’s basically where the story left off. And the same goes for Natsu. Honestly most of us think that he probably just assumes that he and Lucy are a thing already and if that turned out to be the case, we would not be surprised!

And one final thing to people being upset about a possible romance between Natsu and Lucy in the 100 YQ. It was obviously going to happen in this sequel. The story ended basically with them basically admitting that they love each other, without saying those exact words. They’re definitely more than friends at the end of that story. And a story is only good if the characters and relationships develop further from where they began in the beginning of the story. So in the 100 YQ, the only way to develop Natsu and Lucy’s relationship further, is by them admitting their love for each other and becoming a couple. If their relationship stayed the same, then it wouldn’t be a good story because nothing would have changed from beginning to end.

Now, to people who think that Lucy being in love with Natsu means she’s not a strong character because they think that her being in love with him means that the only thing she wants to do in life is be his wife and have his babies, you’re totally wrong.

Lucy does want to get married and have a family someday, and at this point in the story we know that it’s probably going to end up being with Natsu. But that doesn’t mean that being his wife/girlfriend is or ever will be her only desire in life. She clearly has other goals. She wants to become a stronger wizard, and she’s an author and she wants to keep writing books. She can still do those things while being married to Natsu and having a family with him. And he’d support her to!

Her being in love with Natsu does not take away from those goals or her development as a character. Her showing romantic feelings for Natsu shows a new side to her character. Not many people noticed this, but throughout the story, as her feelings for Natsu get stronger, she fights harder. And I don’t mean that in the sense that she became a stronger wizard. I mean she starts being more confident in battle and taking more risks in order to save him. She fell off of a waterfall with him in the Oracion Seis arc. And in the final arc of the series, she’s literally tampering with a book of dark magic in order to save Natsu’s life!

So yes, being in love with Natsu did cause Lucy’s character to change. But that’s not a bad thing. Her love for him made her stronger. That added to her character development, not subtracted from it. The argument that a character, mainly female characters being in love makes them weaker is a sexist one because it implies that if a female character is in love with another character, that they somehow become less important to the story and become weaker simply for finding joy in their life in the form of love for another person.

You know what other character in Fairy Tail is deemed weak because of that? Juvia Lockser. Now, a lot of her character development does revolve around her relationship with Gray. And yes, being with him is all she wants. Her goal is to marry him and have a family with him. And yes that is a traditionally feminine desire, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad goal.

We’re at a point now in society where women can pursue things other than domestic life. But that doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t also pursue a domestic life. The point of feminism and gender equality is that women get to have a choice between just being a wife and mother or pursuing something else or doing both. And that’s the thing, it’s a choice! Which means that some women are going to choose to devote themselves to their family. And that’s not a bad choice at all.

Remember that Juvia was an orphan. She’s never had parents or a family. She had literally never seen the sun until she met Gray so if him changing her life like that makes her want to devote her life to being with him and having a family with him as her idea of true happiness, then power to her! Let her pursue that dream! Especially since now we know that Gray loves her back.

And it’s not like she’s the only female character in Fairy Tail either. If she was the only girl in the series, then I’d probably take issue with her main desire being to be a wife and mother. But there’s so many other characters, and each of them have different desires, personalities, and roles in the story. So one of them primarily desiring a domestic life as a wife and mother is totally fine. There’s other female characters who pursue other things. Just like in real life, women are all different and make different choices.

And her being a wife and mother doesn’t mean she’ll be locked up in the house cooking and cleaning all of the time either. She’s still a wizard. She’ll still go on jobs on her own and with Gray. That definitely won’t change.

And just like with Lucy, she became a stronger wizard after falling in love with Gray. She’s beaten some tough opponents in the name of love. And there’s nothing wrong with fighting for love!

So love is not something that weakens the female characters in Fairy Tail. It makes them stronger. Love is a great source of joy and happiness and it’s perfectly acceptable to fight for that. It’s a very strong emotion, and it’s not only felt by the girls in these stories. The guys fight for love too. Heck, Gray and Natsu both unleashed their demon side when they thought their girls were dead.

But we don’t see as many people saying that love weakens Natsu or Gray’s characters as they do for Juvia and Lucy.

Why is it that people are always so much more critical of the girls motives, desires and actions in a story instead of the boys?

Why are fans so critical of the main female character of a story than they are of the main male character of the story?

How come Lucy can’t be a strong character because she’s in love?

It’s because the idea that Lucy can have it all by being a successful wizard and author and having a loving and supportive family too, scares the misogynists because it would mean that a female character was able to make all of her dreams come true by the end of a story, by the power of love pushing her to become stronger. They’re scared of something traditionally “feminine” like romance becoming a powerful factor in a story. If love = power, then the one who possess that love, Lucy = power. And that’s what they’re really upset about.

And now I’ll get off of my soapbox. I feel like I was mostly ranting through this and I’m not sure if it made sense but I hope it did! 😂

#nalu #feminism #feminism in manga #feminism in anime #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #Juvia Lockser #gray fullbuster #gruvia #feminism in fairy tail

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sledgefuweek · 3 years

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Each year we take a close look at the prompts for Sledgefu Week, for those who may be stuck for ideas or not quite sure about what the prompts could entail. Below the readmore are all seven prompts, as well as a short write-up exploring what they mean and some ideas to help get the creative juices going. Enjoy!!

Sickfic

This is a really popular and well-known fanfic trope that I feel probably needs little explanation, but I’ll write a little bit about it anyway! It essentially covers fic where one character is ill and the other cares for them -- it could encompass any kind of illness at all, (including chronic illnesses) and there’s a lot of room to get creative with it. You can go for angst, hurt/comfort, or fluff: it’s just a really good general prompt that I think works nicely to kick the week off!

It suits for Sledgefu pretty well, considering Snafu’s canon mild hypochondria, as well as the fact that Eugene’s dad is a doctor. It could be fun to lean into it: make Eugene play doctor for an actually-sick Snafu, and it could be just as fun to subvert it! There’s really endless options for canon fic: shrapnel wounds turned bad, heat-sickness, seasickness, illness from bad food or bad water or any kind of tropical disease you can think of (malaria is a big one!). You could make one of them (or both) a medic; you could genderswap them and write the gay field nurse fic this fandom sorely needs. And of course if you choose to branch out into modern AU you can begin to think of what might afflict them outside of a war setting: has Eugene been working too much and come down with a cold? Are they hungover, and need mutual care (and lots of takeout)? A lot of the time sickfic focuses on one character doing the comforting and the other character feeling unwell, but there’s nothing to say they can’t both be feeling shitty! I think we say this every year but there’s really no rules at all, you do whatever you feel inspired to do. With Sickfic, just be mindful to tag anything that others might be affected by eg. vomiting, blood, needles, etc.

Tarot

I feel like Tarot is pretty well-known to the Sledgefu fandom, or at least to those who like to write Snafu or his family a little witchy. In case you just have a vague idea of what Tarot actually is and what its purpose or origins are, I’ll explain it as concisely as I can! Tarot decks started life in Europe as playing cards, but eventually began to be used for divination. It’s made up of four suits, or the Minor Arcana, (Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles) as well as a twenty-two card Major Arcana (the imagery of which you’re probably very familiar with). Commonly, tarot decks and tarot reading is used as a means of communicating with the higher self, deities, or with the universe. They can be used as a way to see the future, answer questions, or to give/receive advice. There are different ways of reading them too, depending on how one lays out the cards: I don’t want to make this too wordy, but if you’re curious I encourage you to check out this site to learn more!

For writers, there’s a lot of places this prompt could take you! Probably the most obvious will be fortune teller fic; a classic. Lean into Snafu’s Louisiana roots and have him telling fortunes in the depths of the French Quarter, or go against the grain and have Eugene reading cards and palms and tea leaves as a practice passed down through his family. Or maybe more casual: modern AU Sledgefu flirting through amateur tarot readings with a deck picked up from a junk shop. If you read Tarot and have a connection to it, you can express that through writing! It’s a pretty open-ended prompt, especially if you consider some of the meanings of the cards; you could even write a story inspired by that! The Hermit: Snafu withdrawing, leaving Eugene on the train to spend the next few months in solitude, working through things. The Moon: Snafu and Eugene hitting a rough patch, hiding things from each other. The opportunities really become endless once you start taking the readings of the cards into account! And for visual artists, this must be such a fun prompt: I feel like it’s so a visually rich, whether you’re re-drawing the cards to encompass Snafu and Eugene within them, or making a collage based around some of the things mentioned above: fortune tellers shops, witches cottages, etc.

Trinket

Every Sledgefu Week we tend to have a couple prompts that are a little more open to interpretation, and this year’s ‘Trinket’ is one of those. It might be difficult to try and think of something to base a whole fic or piece of art around, but we really encourage you to let your imagination run wild! There’s already some great trinkets in the show itself: Eugene’s ring, the lighter that Gunny Haney gave him, Snafu’s stolen gold teeth, or their dog tags. Think of small, special objects that you might have: what imbues them with comfort or meaning? What makes you love them? You could have Eugene giving Snafu his ring, or have Eugene musing over war and death and loss while smoking a cigarette lit by his lighter. If you’re into Modern AUs, how could these objects carry through to modern day? Once you start thinking about it, the ideas start rolling in. Feel free to invent special trinkets for them: or maybe trinkets that they hate and want to get rid of, trinkets that remind them of bad times. Trinkets that remind them of each other, or family, or war. So much meaning can be held in the things we own, and I think it’s such a lovely concept to explore!

Crossover

So this prompt was born from the sheer number of suggestions we had for various movie, TV, and book AUs. We didn’t want to put them all to the poll and risk a lot of you feeling disappointed over the one you wanted not being selected, so thought it’d work best to condense them into a ‘Crossover’ prompt so everyone could do whatever they liked. So this is a very very broad one! It would be impossible for me to really go through the prompt and highlight some things that you could do for it, because you can really do anything you want to! Anything! It encompasses movies, video games, TV, books, musicals... if something tells a story, you can do a crossover. So if there’s ever been a film/book/etc. AU you wanted to do for Sledgefu Week but couldn’t quite get it to match the prompts, now is the time!

Vacation

A pretty self explanatory prompt, and one that I think can appeal to people who prefer canonverse and those who like modern AU too! Do you want to send Snafu and Eugene on the holiday of their dreams, or are they gonna be bickering in a gas station over who gets control of the map? Is Snafu gonna drive across a couple states to surprise Eugene by visiting? Is Eugene gonna do the same? There’s a lot of scenarios you can apply to the backdrop of them vacationing, and a lot of emotional journeys you can take them through! And for the canonverse crowd, you have the extra addition of letting them go have fun on an R&R, or taking a road trip post-war, visiting 1950s Paris... you can really do whatever you like!

Historical

This was another prompt like ‘Crossover’ that came from a lot of various suggestions that all boiled down to a similar thing: different historical events or periods. So like Crossover, I won’t linger too long on it (this post is long enough already) except just to say again: do whatever you’re inspired to do! There’s no rules here, you could even take everyone out of the Pacific and put them over in Germany: give them a different experience of war. In fact, you can do that with any war if you wanted to! Wanna do a M*A*S*H AU but made something else for Crossover? You could do it here! Want to put them in the 1920s? You got it. In the 1850s? Yeehaw, they’re cowboys now. 1969, Summer of Love? 1600s, make Snafu a prince? Literally the world is your oyster!

Horror

Past Sledgefu Week prompts have included things that could come under the horror umbrella (Supernatural, for example) but didn’t necessarily have to be made 'horrific’. For the ‘Horror’ prompt this year, we want to see frightening! Disquieting, uncomfortable; creations that either cross over with existing horror franchises, or lean on horrific things you come up with yourself. Horror movies, or TV shows, or books or podcasts or pieces of art all seek to elicit a sense of fear: this can be done by tapping into common phobias, or nightmares, those things which are universally and almost instinctively scary. We want to see things which lean into that, in whatever way you want to do it!

I’m no horror media expert (not by a long shot) but the opportunities for this prompt are really vast simply because horror has so many subgenres to work with. You could go gothic horror; Dracula, Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights (a personal favourite AU -- Eugene soaked out on the moors, searching for Heathcliff-Snafu? Divine). Or you could go to the opposite end of the spectrum: Jennifer’s Body AU, Final Girl AU -- there’s no set way to do horror, in fact you could even bring horror into canonverse if you don’t like AUs. Think the Terror: some unknown beast lurking beyond the borders of their camp on Pavuvu, or Okinawa. Or you could even take the prompt entirely literally and explore the horrors of war and the toll it takes on them both. Please don’t feel stuck into needing to do Scary: horror is about fear and revulsion and dread, and these feelings don’t necessarily need to come from a haunting! (This is also a prompt ripe for monsterfucking, just FYI).

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So that’s the prompts for this year! They’re all really really great, and have a lot of potential to make some fantastic stuff :~) And to reiterate something I said right at the start, there are no rules here! I think every year we normally get at least one person unsure whether their idea will be okay for the prompt they’d like to make it for, so I just wanna say here: don’t second-guess yourself! As long as it can be linked back to the prompt in some way or another (can literally be the vaguest way possible) you’ll be absolutely fine. We don’t vet submissions at all, especially not for their content relating to the prompts. All we ask is that you remember to stay respectful in what you’re writing, and when the time comes to post it, you tag and warn appropriately :~)

On the subject of writing respectfully, we’d like to just take a moment to link the document on mindful writing re: race and gender that was made last year. Please take a look at it, even if you read it last year! It’s always good to keep these things at the front of your mind, as fandom is a community sport and we want to keep it fun and safe for everyone involved! So thank you if you’ve made it this far through this whole post, check out the doc, and enjoy the rest of the run-up to Sledgefu Week!

#sledgefu #sledgefu week #mod talk #info #if you saw this post before yes you did no you didn't <3 it has the horror prompt on it now lmao

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anidealiveson · 4 years

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Thanksvember Master Post

Day 1 - Like Coming Home - It has a super rare “wholesome plot twist”! Without spoiling anything too huge, I really like that @julesherondalex took the time to talk about how important it is to take care of yourself first. You can’t love someone else properly, the way they deserve, if you don’t have that same love for yourself. I wasn’t expecting the heartbreaking scene, but the beautiful way in which that topic was was approached neither took away from the story or the joy.

Day 2 - Must Love Dogs - An incredibly fluffy (literally) fic that I loved reading. @rosehallshadowsinger did a really great job weaving Azriel and Elain’s canon personalities into this adorable AU scenario. It is obvious @rosehallshadowsinger took care to create believable personalities for two characters that didn’t get POVs in the books.

Day 3 - Striking Matches - I have to say that I wasn’t at all attracted to an AU fic about firefighters. I was also not a big Rowaelin fan before that, but I was work procrastinating so I gave it a try. Wellll, 30 parts later, I found myself delighted at the writing and sad it was over. I couldn’t believe how well @shyvioletcat cat was able to entirely re-characterize these two into such a different setting, yet still retaining what made them popular in the books. Aelin was perfect in her role as a snarky schoolteacher irritating the stoic firefighter Rowan. And the descriptions of the kids lining up at the firehouse demonstration and Jake’s adorable prodding was icing on the cake.

Day 4 - Close Quarters - I really loved the way @lady-therion wrote Nesta in this modern AU. I particularly like how she equates Nesta’s sometimes standoffish attitude as a very relatable personality trait. She has trouble reading people and gauging situations. It’s well written and the dialogue is unique for a plot that is common in ff!

Day 5 - Like A Lonely House - It’s got a colossal I love Lucy level misunderstanding mixed in with a lot of tension and angst. This Nesta that is full of sacrifice and duty and fire is how I imagine the Nesta who feels that she has a stake in the Fae world would be like. @featherymalignancy wove such a captivating new world in Macar, that it felt a lot like being introduced to the 8th court in the ACOTAR world.

Day 6 - Death Dance - There are several takes out there that touch on Nesta in the Ilyrian camps, but I love how @thewayshedreamed interpreted Nesta’s skills on the battlefield as a calculated dance. Nesta has always been a raging storm, but I love how @thewayshedreamed took care to show us a Nesta that channeled that storm into discipline. If SJM never intended to release a Nessian focused book, I would have considered this a satisfying end to their story.

Day 7 - One Night Standards - I love the way @sassyhobbits writes Aelin with her typical extremely sassy exterior, but also made sure to saddle her with a vulnerable side that runs deep. I normally don’t care for slow burns, but I like the pace of her relationship with Rowan here, and that they had to work hard at it. I also like the plot lines that involved their PR stunts and how the public grew to love them as well.

Day 8 - Goose Chasing - Its the most absurd plot of any fanfic I’ve read! The title is not figurative. Its really does involve chasing a goose. @rhysismydaddy did a fantastic job encapsulating the spirit of silly Cassian and grumpy Nesta in a situation they’d likely never find themselves in, yet making it entirely believable.

Day 9 - Manon Chooses The Worst Babysitter Possible - It’s such a casual and fluffy and hilarious read. It was fun to read about a softer and more delicate Manon. Through this absurd mistake, @sarah-bae-maas did an excellent job really humanizing Manon and postulating a fun in-world domestic scenario.

Day 10 - My Hunger Knows No Bounds - @perseusannabeth manages to take a simple concept and weave a sweet narrative. I particularly love how @perseusannabeth incorporated her personal details into it and took the time to share her lovely culture with us.

Day 11 - Knowing me, Knowing you - We never got to actually see Aelin rule Terrasen (well we got a tinyyy bit) in the books. Though this was modern day, @nalgenewhore tells a fun story of what that could have been like.

Day 12 - Forever (is a long time) - @noodlecatposts takes Elide and Lorcan’s completely polar opposite personalities and spins an interesting (and frankly quite adorable) story. All the rules crack me up. My favorite Lorcan is the one that reminds me of Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. Currently, he is in the middle of grumpily fixing up her flooded room, so I am sure that my favorite parts are yet to come.

Day 13 - Go Your Own Way - I appreciate @tomtenadia for putting to words a scene that I desperately wanted in ACOWAR or even ACOFAS. A lovely parallel to an equally lovely Fleetwood mac song.

Day 14 - In Which She Makes A Friend - It is no surprise that the fandom wants Nesta to find her place in the Illyrian mountains and even bring about some social change with the female warriors. But the way @bookstantrash got there was such a wonderful and endearing journey. Big fan of the callbacks to how Kaelin was treated and the similarities to a certain Illyrian warrior was when he was younger. We got to see a sweet Nesta, who I’d like to think was attempting to make up for some of her regrets through taking care of Kaelin.

Day 15 - The Ranch - As a huge fan of Sweet Home Alabama, its should be no surprise that I loved this fic by @tacmc . I enjoyed the slow change that we saw in a stubborn Nesta as she opened up to this new way of life and reconnected with her sisters and found a home with Cassian.

Day 16 - Felons - Such a unique interpretation of Nesta and Cassian. I really like the self-sacrificing Nesta angle and @rhysismydaddy did a great job weaving intrigue into the unraveling of what we knew to be a her innocence. I never read The Witness, but this really made me want to.

Day 17 - Of Books and Timber - Cassian offers to build a shelf for Nesta. The way @duskandstarlight goes through the entire range of emotions through Nesta is brilliant. She starts out with cold indifference, but by the end, we get from her a sweet and tender gesture of gratitude. Showing that meeting each other halfway with small gestures is all they ever needed.

Day 18 - You Should Sleep In My Bed More Often - I absolutely loved this quick exchange between Nesta and Cassian after she accidentally injures him. I can’t believe how much I laughed out loud when Cassian said “I need you to protect me closer”. @charincharge perfectly captured the teasing childish essence of Cassian and Nesta’s hilarious victim-blaming was so on the nose that I might have thought this was taken right out of ACOSAF.

Day 19 - The Right Swipe - I really enjoyed this take on the inner circle mixed with the super modern online dating plot. I especially love that @redisriding created genuinely realistic characters (body issues, social anxiety etc). Great read!

Day 20 - Goldfish Prompt - What a fun read. I love how frantic and much personality Feyre had here. I love how dedicated to her fish she was, and how that made her super endearing. Cute read from @azrielsiphons

Day 21 - The One With The Snowstorm - What I really like is that Cassian actually says that he is sorry for his part in Nesta’s exile. I am not bitter about it, but it was an interesting turn. They need to meet halfway here and I rarely see it so well written as @joysbell has done here!

Day 22 - Prompt - A lovely and cute and sweet prompt written by @crowsvalentine! I love the ramp up of suspense just to get to the hilarious payoff. Its adorable and worth the quick read.

Day 23 - Fix It - is one by @thewayshedreamed that I love in its simplicity. It’s a small little argument Cassian and Nesta get into, but its still compelling. It’s sweet and super endearing the way the two of them are written and the subtle way they work through it. Great read!

Day 24 - I Do Bad Things To You - The mob angle may have been done before, but I don’t think with as much care and regard that @tswaney17 has been giving it. I how the canon personalities of the characters translate so well into this modern AU. Its very obvious that @tswaney17 has done her research. I especially love all the details around Elain as a surgeon. The story is compelling and well written and every chapter has me wanting more.

Day 25 - Love Her Like She should Be Loved - This is an excellent fic that I really loved. @julemmaes did such a great job translating some of the canon tension from ACOFAS into a modern world. It’s ripe with emotion, drama and quite a bit of heart. I love how earnestly Cassian comes to Nesta’s defense even in the face of going against his entire family. I like the reference to some very real psychological struggles. I think a lot of people can relate to it.

Day 26 - Literally In Love - I really enjoy the subtle mystery that follows this entire journey. I enjoy that @julesherondalex keeps us guessing, while simultaneously weaving a sweet and tender story about two shy teachers and just a slew of mishaps worthy of a Shakespearian drama.

Day 27 - The Shadow Bond - I love Azriel, and this is such a wonderful fic by @radientwings focusing on how his shadows might work. His shadows are the one thing that I am most curious about him in the series, so it was lovely to read such a well written interpretation of them.

Day 28 - Exes and Oh’s - Just a shout out to @highqueenofelfhame for this lovely story about rekindling past love. I like that even though the plot was uncomplicated, the emotions were not. I love that Aelin didn’t have a perfect reason for what she did, but sometimes that is just how things are. This is a story about taking a second chance, whether it’s deserved or not.

Day 29 - Fever - I really love this fic called Fever. I enjoyed how @lady-therion portrayed Nesta. She hit the entire gammut of characteristics (snarky, worried, vulnerable, caring, short-tempered, flirty, you name it!) but it really worked here. I found this nurse Nesta to be endearing and relatable and the dynamic between her and Cassian was very sweet. Just go read the damned thing.

Day 30 - Baby Steps - I really really love this fic. @runesandfaes did such a great job in just so few words to show a really sweet moment between Chaol, Yrene and their daughter learning to walk. I love the parallel back to when Chaol was learning to walk and the cameo of the golden couch. So sweet.

#thanksvember #fanfics #fanfiction

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solari-writes-things · 4 years

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Breathe

requested by: @supervalcsi

THIS IS SO CUTE BUT SO SAD IM HERE FOR IT. This also has potential for a multi part thing. Not sure. It’s a hard maybe.

Prompt:

#43: How long have you been standing there?

#46: Why aren’t you afraid of me?

Happy Lowman x Reader

WARNINGS: language, violence, alluded harassment

gif isn’t mine, credited below!

Revolt rippled away through your body, a hand clasped over your chest as you tried to even out your heartbeat.

You were forced into a situation that you had to eject yourself from. It wasn’t by your own doing, and that just made your lungs feel like they were doing flips in your chest.

Just breathe, you’ll be fine... you had been telling yourself that since you had retreated to the bathroom in the establishment. You were at a small bar with Happy, whom had asked you to accompany him for a drink in privacy since he had decided to take an interest in you about a month ago. He didn’t mind paying for drinks out of pocket, if it meant getting to know you a little better. The idea seemed thrilling, all things considered. He was mysterious, an interesting character that you had noticed stalking around the clubhouse.

You had thought about every situation about how this could go. Everything in your head had played out fine, with the exception of this.

You didn’t anticipate breathing scum to be traversing the bar. Someone who was watching you closely until your company had stood up for just a moment to take a call in the quiet. When they approached, you stated that you were accounted for and went about your business. But when they kept pushing, you became more and more adamant until you stood up and charged off.

You were hunched over one of the bathroom sinks, moving your eyes up so you stared at yourself evenly in the mirror. You focused on your heart rate, listening to it slow in your ears. You inhale slowly, exhaling for a few seconds before sucking it up and fixing your disheveled hair.

You dust yourself off, checking to make sure there was no scuffs in your outfit. Even with what had occurred, you wanted to be presentable for the SAMCRO member. He was taking time out of his day for you, and you were here for him. Even if you both had to relocate, or find something new to do, it wasn’t going to get done while you were hiding in the restroom.

So taking one more confident breath in, you hum to yourself in affirmation before turning on your heels and pushing the bathroom door open with a little more gusto than you had anticipated. Your eyes surfed the crowd, trying to pinpoint both Happy and the scum who tried to chat you up.

Only to see that both of them were gone.

So you excuse yourself through a crowd, side stepping around the folk who were forming small powwows to chat away with one another. You make your way to the bar, where Hap and you had taken your seats for the night and signal over the bartender.

He shuffles over to you once he tops off a couple draft beers, eyeing you evenly to make your request.

Instead, you hit him with a question. “Did you see where the guy I was sitting with?”

“He paid his tab and left without saying anything,” the bartender replied, picking up an empty glass and wiping it down with a rag.

You nod your head, averting your eyes as you thought about what could have warranted him retreating. “Alright. Thanks.”

The bartender gives a brief nod before moving to attend to someone who had signaled him near the end of the bar.

You let out a defeated sigh, adjusting your bag on your shoulder before pushing your way toward the door. You didn’t think that Happy would be the kind of person to remove himself while you were away. Not unless the club had requested his presence.

Your head begins to file through the possibilities of what could have happened, and when your hand rested on the door is when the chips began to fall in place for you. Your mind circled back around to when you left the bathroom to rejoin Hap, noting once again that the harasser had been missing from the bar in the mere few minutes you were gone.

Shit.

You hurry out of the door, looking around for any sign of what could have happened. The neighborhood that the two of you were in was remote. Aside from the crowd lingering outside of the bar, it was desolate. No cars rolling down the street, nobody adventuring past a few feet from the front door. You scan the street, remembering Happy had parked his bike rather close to your car.

There it stood, camouflaged in the surrounding darkness. The only thing that stood out about it was the white anarchy symbol on the front.

He hadn’t left the area.

So you adjust your bag once more and search for any signs. You begin to walk further down the sidewalk, focusing on the noise around you to see when the bar music would begin to drop off. Once the muffled noise faded from earshot, you shot your head up to look for anything Happy could remotely hide behind so he wasn’t in view. Alleys, dumpsters, anything that he could obstruct the view of his face.

You move just a few feet down before you hear whimpering, the tone familiar to the one that cursed your ears just fifteen minutes before. You hear his whining muffle, and a few sharp blows to a body.

That had to have been Happy. Nothing else made sense.

You quickly and quietly jog up to the opening of an alley, turning to your right. However, what you saw caused you to pause at the entrance and watch.

Happy had beaten the man till he was nothing but blood and tears, their face swollen and their arms constricting around their body to shrivel away from the biker. Happy was standing up straight, staring down at the pathetic display in front of him.

You only reacted, though, when Happy reached into the back of his jeans and brandished the gun that you knew he kept on his person.

“Hap, wait!” you immediately bark, causing him to reel his head toward you suddenly. He didn’t hear you approaching, and the sudden sound of your voice had startled him.

“How long have you been standing there?” is all that he asked, barrel of his gun still aimed down at the man he had followed out of the bar.

“Long enough,” is your response. “Hap, if you fire that thing, everyone within a three mile radius will hear. I just want to get back to spending time together, okay? Please put down the gun, you made your point.”

“No, I haven’t,” he replied, his face serious.

“Happy, yes you have. Look at him,” you gesture to the man, who had essentially lay in the fetal position with his back against the wall. His eyes were wide, staring down the barrel of the pistol that had been held up at him.

Happy’s gaze moved back to the man, his lip curling up in disgust at the sight. However, he disarmed the pistol and tucked it in the back of his jeans once again. He didn’t let the man off easily, though, his now leather clad hands gripping at the front of his shirt and roughly lifting him upright. He slammed their back against the wall, which caused a yelp that was almost loud enough to be heard.

“Come sniffing around again, I’ll finish what I fucking started,” Happy sneered and shoved the guy toward the entrance of the alleyway.

You moved out of the way as he stumbled back into the open, watching as he limped off in the opposite direction of the bar. You exhale softly, your eyes moving back to study Happy.

Only now were you able to see small details that were different. He had stray flecks of red on his SAMCRO shirt, but his black hoodie was seemingly untouched in the darkness. You observed him closely as he peeled off of his gloves and shoved them into his back pocket.

You were aiming to be the first one to break the silence, but Happy seemed to beat you to the punch.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he questioned, interlocking the two ends of his dark hoodie. He pulled the zipper up, straightening his posture the higher it raised. Once it was zipped, his eyes met with yours and he tucked his hands into his pockets.

He was right. Even seeing the bloodthirsty animosity in his eyes, you weren’t afraid. In fact, you were more allured to him than before. Most people would cower at the raw emotion you saw. However, you more focused on the aspect of him listening to you to lower the gun. Strangely endeared that he would go out of his way to make sure scum like that wouldn’t offend again.

“Why would I be afraid of someone who was trying to defend me?” you ask simply, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Because I was about to kill him if you didn’t stop me,” he stated.

The matter-of-fact tone in his voice sent a small chill down your spine, but not one that would prompt you to run. The fact that he knew what he was capable of, and elected to ignore his base instincts to cater to yours was something to behold.

“I, honestly, thought you would have. Even if I said something,” you admitted.

“Who’s to say I won’t?” Happy chides. “I’m just not here for him. I came to be with you, so I’m gonna stick to my guns.”

You let out an exasperated chuckle, shaking your head at the remark you assumed had been something along the lines of sarcasm. Until the tone of his voice clicked in your head.

“Wait, how’re you going to do that?” you ask him.

Happy reaches into his jeans, gripping something in his pockets. He brandishes a wad of cash, but then turned it to reveal a California Driver’s License had been hidden inside.

You sigh heavily, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Okay, I don’t need to know anymore. Can we just figure out where else to go?”

Happy shoves the wad back in his pocket before nodding his head. “Yeah. You choose this time.”

#happy lowman #soa #sons #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #samcro #solari writes things

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